Make Fun Of Life! - English Grammar

Homophones

6/1/2025

Picture of polka dots in different sizes and colors, and the words, ‘“Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Homophones” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’

Homophones are words and phrases that are pronounced alike but have different meanings, origins, or spelling, and whose likeness in sound may lead to perplexity.

Examples Of Homophone Words
- To, too, two.
- One, won.
- For, fore, four.
- Ate, eight.
Can you think of other homophone words?

Picture of a green letter L with an eye, so that it resembles a snake, a happy, smiling, thumbs up man named Al, and a funnel that has a wide opening at one end and a narrow opening at the other end, and the words, ‘Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’

While perhaps not a completely accurate example of homophones, the pictures shown above could at least be said to illustrate the word 'fun' . . . as in 'fun with homophones' . . .

Daffynitions And Definitions

4/26/2025

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Abundance, noun: A party held in a bakery, at which buns dance; not to be confused with abarndance.
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“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping it will eat him last.” -Winston Churchill (Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill (1874 - 1965)): as quoted in “Reader’s Digest” (December 1954) monthly print magazine

“Anananay: What happens when you start to spell banana and find yourself unable to stop.” -Author Unknown

Atrophy: An award given to those who do not exercise.
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Augmented reality: A step in the process of turning us all into compliant cyborgs.

Benign, adjective: What you be after you be eight.
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Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
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Brevity: Words that cover more ground than they occupy.
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Brouhaha, noun: A jolly tea party.

Buffet, noun: A French word meaning ‘get up and get it yourself.’
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Buffoon: A cross between a buffalo and a baboon.
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Buoyant, noun: A young male ant.

“Buzzwords: How bees talk to each other.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Cackleberry, noun: A hen’s egg.

“Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.” -Oliver Herford (Oliver Brooke Herford (1860 - 1935)): as quoted in “The Reader’s Digest” (1982), Volume 121, page 118

“Christmas is sleeping with one eye shut while the other eye watches for Santa Claus.” -Charles Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000))

“Circular Definition: See Circular Definition.” -Author Unknown

Cobweb site: A website that has not been updated for a long time.

Colander, noun: Someone who arrives with you on the same plane.

Compromise: An agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.

Computer chip: Any starchy foodstuff consumed in mass quantities while working at a computer.
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“Conversation: A series of sounds humans make upon encountering each other.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
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Correctional facility: Rent-free public housing for law-breakers, who are thought to benefit from confinement in each other’s company.

Courage: The art of being the only one who knows you are scared to death.
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Dairyman, noun: A cowboy.
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Definition: What you are now reading. Daffynition: A wacky definition.

Democracy: A system of government in which people take the law into their own hands.

Denial, noun: A river in Egypt.

Dentist, noun: 1. A collector of old magazines. 2. A filling station attendant.
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Detail, noun: What’s on the end of a dog.
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“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday, but never remembers her age.” -Robert Frost (Robert Lee Frost (1874 - 1963))

“Direct Sales Only: Manufacturer had argument with distributor.” -Author Unknown

Doctor, noun: 1. A type of medical device used in making diagnoses. 2. Someone who practices medicine but charges as if he or she actually knew.
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Doohicky, noun: A doo-dad or a whatchyamacallit.

Doomsday Prophet: A person who quickly fades from view when the doom and gloom predictions he or she claimed would happen fail to come true.
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Drawkcab: Backward spelled backward.

Ecnalubma (ek na lub’ ma), noun. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in rearview mirrors

Efficiency expert: Someone who waits to make up a foursome before going through a revolving door.

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Elephant, noun: A useful animal with a vacuum cleaner on one end and a rug-beater at the other.
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“Encourage means to put courage into, and discourage is to take courage away.” -Benjamin Lotter
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Endless Loop, noun: see Loop, Endless.
Loop, Endless, noun: see Endless Loop.

“Ethernet: What you use to catch the ether bunny.” -Author Uknown

“Exchequer: A playing piece from a checkers game that has left to join the chess set.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
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Farcical, noun: A long bike race.
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Flashlight, noun: A case for holding dead batteries.

Forthwith, adverb: Derived from ‘for Thwith,’ originally meaning to be completed in time for Thwith, an ancient Druidic feast of no fixed date. Now used to refer to any unspecified moment in the future and hence to completion of any task for which it would be unwise to provide a deadline.

Forum: Two-um plus two-um.

Fossil, noun: An extinct animal; the older it is, the more extinct it is.

Fossil fuels: What dinosaurs used to run their cars.
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Gardener, noun: A plant manager.
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Gazebo, noun: A cross between a gazelle, a zebra, and a hippo.
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Gihugeous: Really, really big.

Glitter, noun: 1. Pixie dust. 2. Fairy sparkles.
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Goad, verb: Past tense of go.

“Hammers: Manually-powered fastener-driving impact devices.” -Author Unknown: United States Pentagon

Happiness: What people can always find in the dictionary.
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Hardware store, noun: 1. Similar to a black hole in space if a husband goes in as he is not coming out anytime soon. 2. One of the rare shops in which women do not like to do shopping, and therefore, popular with men.
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Harpist, noun: A plucky musician
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Hootenanny, noun: 1. An informal gathering with folk music and sometimes dancing. 2. The result of crossing an owl with a goat.

Hors d’oeuvres: A sandwich cut into twenty pieces.

Horsepower, noun: Something that was much safer when only horses had it.
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Hospital: A place where they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill.

Human, noun: A useful domestic animal, popular with cats, dogs, and fleas.
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Humor: God’s gift to humankind to compensate for the law of gravity.

Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.

Impeccable, adjective: What every birdkeeper must be.
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Intense, noun: Where campers sleep.
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Internet: The reason you are failing your classes.

“Junk is the stuff we throw away. Stuff is the junk we keep.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

Laughingstock: Cattle with a sense of humor.

“Librarian: A bookkeeper.” -Author Unknown

Lobster, noun: Someone who throws poorly.

“Locomotion: That crazy way you move.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Lollipops: Behavior modification reinforcers.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at statistics.

“A luncheon is a lunch that takes an eon.” -Judith Martin (also known by the pseudonym Miss Manners (born 1938 as Judith Perlman)): “Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior”

Yooper, noun: A regionalism or nickname for a native or resident of the American state of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, a placename abbreviated and informally known as the U.P. or Yoop.

Magazine, noun: A bunch of printed pages that tell you what is coming in the next issue.
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“Marsupials, noun: Upials from Mars.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“McGyverism: The notion that with just a toothpick and some chewing gum, you can get yourself out of any situation and perhaps save the world from certain destruction.” -Author Unknown

Meterology: The study of parking meters.
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Metronome: A city-dwelling dwarf.

Mirage, noun: A place where a ghost keeps its car.
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“Modem: How a southerner asks for seconds.” -Author Unknown

Mommy: The person who kisses the boo-boo after you scrape your knee.

Nitrate: Cheaper than day rate.

“Node, verb: Past tense of knew.” -Author Unknown

“Obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.” -Author Unknown
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“Oregano, noun: The ancient Italian art of pizza folding.” -Author Unknown

Ow: The first word spoken by a child with older siblings.

Peekaboo: Hide-and-Seek for ghosts.
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Polarize: What penguins see with.

Preboarding: Boarding an aircraft or vessel before boarding it.

“Predicament: When a woman does not want any more birthdays, but still wants the presents.” -Author Unknown
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Prepone, verb: To move forward in time; the opposite of postpone. Usage example: We are preponing tomorrow’s meeting by holding it today.
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Propaganda: A gentlemanly goose or a proper gander; see also ‘impropaganda.’

Puddle, noun: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
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Public schools: A scheme for indoctrinating impressionable young minds with the ideology of political correctness, thereby creating the unthinking crazed zombie-like minions of Big Brother and his New World Order.

Quantum Physics: The dreams that stuff is made of.

Raisin: A worried grape.

Ratify: To turn into a rodent, typically as done by witches.

Rectify: When you try to fix something, but end up wrecking it instead.

Relay, verb: What chickens do when the farmer takes their eggs away.
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Relief: What trees do in the Spring.

Sarcasm: Barbed ire.

Scandals: Footwear you should be ashamed of.
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Seamstress: What occurs when 250 pounds of person are stuffed into a size 6 outfit.

Three-course meal: Two cookies and a glass of milk.

Shingle: Sean Connery’s definition of a bachelor.
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Slander: To lie or tell the truth about someone.

Slippers: Footwear made from bananas.
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Snicker: A small laugh.
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Stereotyping: A difficult feat, as there are no keys for typing on stereos.

Stick: A boomerang that does not come back.
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Stucco: What you get when you step on gummo.
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Subdued: A guy who works on submarines.

Synergy: 1 + 1 = 3.

Tablet, noun: A small table.

“Taxidermy: A skin condition caused by riding in taxis.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Phony, adjective: Related or having to do with telephones.” -Author Unknown
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Thirteen o’clock: Time to get the clock fixed.
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Top bunk: A bed where you should never put a child who is wearing flying superhero pajamas.
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Traffic light: An apparatus that automatically turns red when a vehicle approaches.

UFP: Unidentified Frying Pan. Usage example: The police report shows the would-be burglar appears to have been struck in the noggin by a UFP.
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“Unicorn, noun: A single kernel of corn.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Vegetarian, noun: 1. A bad fisherman. 2. A bad hunter.

Walkie-talkie: The opposite of a sittie-stillie.

Webmaster: A spider. Usage example: Watch out for that creepy-crawly webmaster!

Wok: A frugal person’s transportation.
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Yours: Anything which, up to the present, others have not been able to get away from you.

Zenophobia: A persistent fear of convergent sequences.

We are MFOL! . . . making fun of the mundane . . .

Repetitive Repetitiousness

11/11/2019

Repetitive Repetitiousness

I love to talk and try to write
     The language that I mangle
Though simple clauses are misplaced
     And the modifiers dangle

I’m tone-deaf to metric feet
     My ‘punctuation,’ I regret it
My metaphors are often mixed
     My spelin - well, forget it!

I’ve another fault, (if it is a fault)
     I freely vow admission
I state, re-state, repeat, repeat,
     I do like repetition.

Irregardless if my verse is free,
     Or if I write it rhymin’,
It makes my teacher climb the walls
     See? There he goes a-climbin’.

by Bob Whisenant (Robert Lee ‘Bob’ Whisenant (1930 - 2009)): “Of Sand and Dreams: Poems” (2000); type of work: book

Abbreviations And Acronyms

9/1/2019

TEAM: Together Everyone Achieves More. As someone once said, there is no ‘I’ in TEAM . . . and then someone else said that if you look again closely, you will find ‘ME’ in there . . . which is basically the same thing . . .

Acronyms are words such as NATO or radar formed from the initial letters of words. For example, take the first letter of each word in North Atlantic Treaty Organization and the acronym NATO is created. (NATO could also be called an initialism, more on that below.) Since acronyms are called words, their meanings are called definitions; thus, the acronym NATO has the definition North Atlantic Treaty Organization. Not all acronyms form pronounceable words. RSVP is an acronym that is not pronounceable, so each letter is spoken when it is said aloud. Some acronyms are formed from the first few letters of a word, instead of just the first letter, as in the acronym MILCON, defined as Military Construction. In this instance, the first three letters of each word are used to form the acronym. Initialisms are acronyms formed by the initial letters of each word. For example, IBM is an initialism for International Business Machines. Although all initialisms are acronyms, not all acronyms are initialisms.

ACT: Action Conquers Terror.

‘Alphabet Agencies’ is a way of referring to the roughly 100 government departments and offices created under the New Deal of American President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, for the purpose of remedying the Great Depression of the 1930’s. These departments include the FAA (Federal Aviation Administration), SEC (Securities and Exchange Commission), SSA (Social Security Administration), and the now defunct WPA (Works Project Administration). Even to this day, the United States Government remains a regular alphabet soup of agencies.

A.M. or a.m. stands for the Latin ‘ante meridiem,’ which means ‘before noon’ and refers to the period from midnight until noon. P.M. or p.m. stands for the Latin ‘post meridiem,’ which means ‘after noon’ and refers to the period from noon until midnight.

AM stands for Amplitude Modulation, and FM stands for Frequency Modulation, two of the methods of transmitting invisible radio frequency signals through the airways.

AMELIA: Aircraft Maintenance Electronic Link Integrated Analysis, a system invented by 17-year-old Jeremiah Pate. So, what were you doing when you were 17 years old? That is just what we thought.

BATS: Bass, Alto, Tenor, Soprano are the names of the four voices in a musical quartet, barbershop or otherwise.

B.C.E.: Before the Common Era; also, Before the Christian Era.
C.E.: Common Era; also, Christian Era.

BIBLE: Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.

CUTE: Creating Unnecessary Trouble Everywhere.

“DARYL” stands for Data Analysis Youth Life-Form, which is a movie with an acronymic title, about a robot boy.

DNA stands for Deoxyribonucleic Acid.

ENIAC: The Electronic Numerical Integrator And Computer was the first electronic computer, unveiled on 14 February 1946.

Etc.: 1. An abbreviation that makes others think you know more than you actually do. 2. Abbreviation for ‘et cetera’ meaning ‘and so forth.’

FAMILY: Father and Mother I Love You.

HOMES: Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, Superior, which are the five Great Lakes of North America.

How to really annoy people: Use acronyms and abbreviations when speaking. Example: ICYMI, we post new IFS on ‘MFOL!’ OARB - CBL so you DMO! Translation: In case you missed it, we post new incredibly fun stuff on ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ on a regular basis - check back later so you don’t miss out!

HTTP or http: Hypertext Transfer Protocol.

I.Q.: Intelligence Quotient. A system of testing people to try to determine their relative intelligence. The system is now regarded as obsolete because many different types of intelligence exist, most of which cannot be measured through simple written examinations.

IRS: The United States Internal Revenue Service, also known as the people who have what it takes to take what you have.

Is A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. an acronym for something? If not, then let’s make something up!

IT: Incredibly Talented.

JPEG: Joint Photographic Experts Group.

Kimberly: What does ‘IDK’ mean?
Beverly: I don’t know.
Kimberly: Wow, I guess nobody knows what it means, then!

KISS: Keep It Short and Simple.

KGB stands for Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti. From Russia, with love! From Russia, yes . . . with love, not so much.

KOOKS is an acronym standing for the Keepers Of Odd Knowledge Society, which was purportedly started by radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh. Despite many attempts, we have not been able to locate an official website or other information about this group, which would seem to suggest that it may be a super-secret society or some kind of conspiracy!

LASER: Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation.

LOL: Laugh Out Loud.

M*A*S*H stands for ‘Mobile Army Surgical Hospital,’ and is also the name of an American television show about the Korean War.

MUSIC: Making Unique Sounds Instead of Chaos.

NASCAR: National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing.

NESTY: Not Even Started Yet.

NIMBY: Not In My Back Yard. Whenever anyone proposes the building of a project such as a prison, homeless shelter, or other facility for potentially problematic people in a neighborhood, NIMBY-ism is an impedance to progress - or is it people wisely protecting the best interests of their community, particularly the children? It probably depends which side of the issue you stand on - and who is buttering your bread. We might say to politicians, government bureaucrats, corporations, and naïve social do-gooders, “BIYBY: Better In Your Back Yard.” Then there are the ‘BANANA’ people, who say, “Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anybody!” Which bandwagon are you on?

NORAD, or the North American Aerospace Defense Command, is a joint American-Canadian operation tasked with providing aerospace warning, air sovereignty, and defense for North America. Essentially, it is a system of radars, whistles, colored lights, and horns that gives the flyboys and flygirls something to do when they are grounded and not up in the air about something.

NSA: National Security Agency. A department of the United States Government that is so top-secret that some people deny its existence, even going so far as to refer to it as ‘No Such Agency.’

PAY: Prioritize Activities by Yield.

PB&J or PBNJ: Peanut Butter and Jelly, a type of sandwich.

PETA: People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals; also People for the Eating of Tasty Animals.

POTUS: President Of The United States.

P.S.: Post-Script.
P.P.S.: Post-Post-Script.
P.P.P.S.: Post-Post-Post-Script.

QANTAS: Queensland And Northern Territories Air Service, the Australian national airline.

RADAR: Radio Detection And Ranging. Radar is also the nickname of the military unit clerk on the M*A*S*H television show - perhaps because just like electronic RADAR, he was good at finding things?

R.I.P.: Rest In Peace.

RSVP stands for the French ‘Répondez s’il vous plaît’ which translates as ‘Reply if you please.’ RSVP is used on invitations to formal events and special get-togethers, to allow the person in charge to know how many people will be in attendance so that seating arrangements, amount of food, size of dance floor, and other decisions can be made. Considerate and polite people - always, always, always - give their acceptance of the invitation or give a notice that they are declining to attend, promptly either by spoken word or in writing; it is the proper thing to do, and we must be proper, mustn’t we? (The only acceptable answer to that question is in the affirmative.)

SCUBA stands for Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus.

SERVICE is an acronym for Social, Enthusiastic, Responsible, Vibrant, Intelligent, Courteous, Engaged.

SINA: Safety Is No Accident, an acronym with a double-meaning.

SONTTAP: Say Only Nice Things To All People.

SOP: Standard Operating Procedure.

Symbols are a type of abbreviation. The ‘#’ or ‘pound’ key on your keyboard is called an octotroph or hashtag, and the ‘&’ or ‘and’ key is called an ampersand.

TANSTAAFL: “There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch.” -Milton Friedman

TEON: Two Eyes One Nose, being one of the more common facial configurations.

THEIRS. Have you ever noticed that the word ‘The’ and the three letters IRS combine to form THEIRS? That’s because the United States ‘Internal Revenue Service’ people think your money is THEIRS.

TIP. The word ‘tip’ purportedly dates back to old London coffeehouses. Conspicuously placed brass boxes etched with the inscription, ‘To Insure Promptness,’ encouraged customers to pay for efficient service. What is the difference between a tip and a bribe?

TLAR: That Looks About Right.

UFO: Unfinished Object.

“U.S. now stands for Unlimited Spending.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in the “Tampa Tribune” newspaper of Tampa, Florida, United States of America

USA PATRIOT ACT stands for ‘Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism.’ Say it again, Uncle Sam!

V.I.P.: Very Important Person.

Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word? What is the abbreviation for abbreviation? Common abbreviations for the words abbreviate, abbreviated, and abbreviation include abr., abbr., abbrv., and abbrev. So, why do we not have a keyboard symbol for the word abbreviation?

WIP: Work In Progress.

‘www’ stands for ‘world wide web’ - and also for ‘wonderfully wacky website,’ like the one you are on right now.

YOGOWYPI: You Only Get Out What You Put In. An amusing and truthful acronymic rule for life.

ZIP Code stands for Zone Improvement Plan Code, a system devised by the United States Postal Service (USPS) for sorting and delivering mail.

This is MFOL! . . . and while there are many serious matters in our world and in our time that need serious consideration, we do not have time for any of that, because we are too busy being ridiculous!

Word Spellings

8/16/2019

Meg: I am very good at spelling bees!
Greg: Is that so?
Meg: Yes, b-e-e-s!

Two words that are easily confused are principle and principal. The following sentence may be of some help: The school principal is our pal. You will notice that ‘pal’ is on the end of the word ‘principal’ but not on the end of the word ‘principle.’ Now let us go ask the school principal if this is true, or if principals serve mainly to maintain order and to act as disciplinarians.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Spell.
Spell, who?
Okay, w-h-o!

Difficult words can be ‘sounded out’ to help us pronounce and spell them correctly. To sound out a word, clearly say each syllable separately, distinctly, and with emphasis. For example, to sound out the word responsibility, break it down into its syllables, as re-spons-i-bil-i-ty. When we clearly sound out words, we avoid skipping letters and syllables, and doing so can also help us avoid stammering. Often after sounding out a new word a few times, we find that it becomes lastingly embedded in our memory, making it more familiar and easier to use.

My spelling is Wobbly.
It’s good spelling but it Wobbles,
and the letters get in the wrong places.
-A. A. Milne (Alan Alexander Milne (1882 - 1956)): “Winnie-the-Pooh” (1926)

Only four words in the English language end in ‘dous,’ and they are tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. They really are.

Jason: What common eleven-letter word is often spelled incorrectly?
Eric: Incorrectly.

The longest English word consisting entirely of consonants (not counting ‘y’ as a vowel) is the word ‘crwth,’ which is from the fourteenth century and means ‘crowd.’ Wait, why do we even have that fact in here, because nobody has used that word for roughly 600 long years!

Teacher: At 28 letters in length, ‘antidisestablishmentarianism’ is the sixth longest word in the English language. How do you spell it?
Student: It is spelled i-t.

Spelling bees are competitions in which participants try to spell words correctly. Spelling bees can be done with little planning, as in a classroom directed by a teacher, or with great planning and fanfare, as in a spelling bee with participants from all across a country or all around the world. To stay in the competition, a participant is given a word to spell; he or she may then ask for the definition of the word or a sample sentence containing the word (usage example). Some spelling bees have prizes, which can include scholarships, trophies, plaques, certificates, dictionaries, or media appearances. Some spelling bees have as a prize simply being declared the winner.

Lovie: How do you spell ‘sarcasm’?
Flossie: With letters, I should think.

At exactly 34 letters each, ‘hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianist’ and ‘supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’ are tied as the fourth-longest words in the English language. Do you know which word is associated with Mary Poppins and which word refers to a person who likes to use really long words?

Horace wrote in his “Ars Poetica” (English translation: “The Art of Poetry”) the words, “Proicit ampullas et sesquipedalia verba.” (English translation: “He throws aside his paint pots and his words that are a foot and a half long.”). The word ‘sesquipedalia’ is derived from the Latin ‘sesqui-’ meaning ‘one and a half’ and ‘ped’ meaning ‘a foot’ (as a unit of measure). So, a ‘hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianist’ is a person who likes to use really long words. If you are fortunate, you will not have such a person assign to you a word at a spelling bee, but such things can happen to even the best of us!

‘Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’ is a made-up, or pretend, nonsense word popularized by the movie “Mary Poppins” (1964). It was derived from the word ‘supercaliflawjalisticexpialidoshus,’ which was invented by Helen Herman and published in her column “A-Musings” in the “Syracuse Daily Orange” (10 March 1931) newspaper, and means ‘something wonderful.’ Have yourself a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious day - after you get your tongue discombobulated!

Riddle: Look at the following words. What do they have in common?
- Banana
- Dresser
- Grammar
- Potato
- Revive
- Uneven
Solution: In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word. Now try asking other people if they can solve the riddle.

Common Words with More than One Spelling
- doughnut/donut
- ketchup/catsup
- judgment/judgement
- travelling/traveling
- acknowledgment/acknowledgement
- grey/gray
- Can you think of other words that can be spelled more than one way?

Introducing ‘lite,’ the new, lighter ‘weigh’ to spell ‘light’ - with twenty percent fewer letters! Pretty exciting, huh?

Syllable: A part of pronunciation that has one vowel sound, making up either a whole word or a part of a word. ‘The’ is a one-syllable word, ‘outdoors’ is a two-syllable word, ‘bicycle’ is a three-syllable word, and ‘dandelion’ is a four-syllable word. Put them together and you have ‘the outdoors bicycle dandelion’ . . . which makes no sense . . .

When asked to spell Mississippi at a spelling bee, a boy asked, “The river, or the state?”

‘Uncopyrightable’ is the only fifteen-letter word that can be spelled without repeating any letters.

Christopher: What school subject do witches like best?
Christina: Spelling!

Abstemious, arsenious, and facetious contain all five vowels in the order in which they appear in the alphabet, which is a, e, i, o, and u. Also, nobody knows what these words mean - of course we’re just being ‘facetious.’

══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════

Spelling Cheque Ere

Eye halve a spelling cheque ere
     It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
     Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
     And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
     It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
     It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
     Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
     I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
     My cheque ere tolled me sew.

by Author Unknown

══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════

A single seven-letter word in the English language contains ten words without any need to rearrange its letters. The word is ‘therein,’ and the words within it are: the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, therein, and herein.

“When Milo looked up he saw an enormous bee, at least twice his size . . . ‘I am the Spelling Bee . . . Don’t be alarmed . . . a-l-a-r-m-e-d.’” -Norton Juster (born 1929): “The Phantom Tollbooth” (1961)

We once tried to tell a college professor that everyone would be better off if the spellings of words were simplified and made more consistent. She said it could never be done because there was too much history embedded within the spellings of words and the spellings must forever be unchanged so that the history will not be lost. We say history should not hold us back! We say let us make word spellings uniform and easier for the great masses of people, who language is meant to serve and not oppress! Let us begin the process of spelling simplification now! We can start with just a few words typed on paper, and stand on street corners making speeches about it, and hand out the sheets of paper with the new word spellings on them. Let us get this revolution underway! All we need is a leader for our cause - hey, how about you?

“S, u, c, c, e, s, s! That’s the way we spell success!” -Author Unknown: part of a military marching cadence

Banananananananana

I thought I’d win the spelling bee
     And get right to the top,
But I started to spell ‘banana,’
     And I didn’t know when to stop.

by William Cole

‘Underground’ is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters ‘u-n-d.’

His Spelling Was Weke

A teacher whose spelling’s unique
Thus wrote down the ‘Days of the Wique’:
     The first he spelt ‘Sonday’,
     The second day ‘Munday’ -
And now a new teacher they sique.

by Charles Battell Loomis

Why don’t we just go ahead and standardize and simplify the spelling of words in order to make life easier for all of us? We don’t need to ask anybody’s permission. We’ll just take the initiative on our own. That’s what leadership is all about, right?

Fobia: A persistent fear of misspelled words - this is a joke, of course! The correct word for a fear of spelling mistakes is ‘ortographobia.’ It is a tough word to spell, so now people with ortographobia could have a fear of misspelling the word for the phobia that they have, which is a fear of misspelling words. Should someone get all of the people with this condition a toy stuffed teddy bear and a dictionary?

Pay attention, because the following word will be on the Friday spelling test. It is a chemical with 1,185 letters, and the longest word in the English language:
acetylseryltyrosylserylisoleucylthreonylserylprolylserylglutaminylphenylalan
ylvalylphenylalanylleucylserylserylvalyltryptophylalanylaspartylprolylisoleucy
lglutamylleucylleucylasparaginylvalylcysteinylthreonylserylserylleucylglycylas
paraginylglutaminylphenylalanylglutaminylthreonylglutaminylglutaminylalany
larginylthreonylthreonylglutaminylvalylglutaminylglutaminylphenylalanylseryl
glutaminylvalyltryptophyllysylprolylphenylalanylprolylglutaminylserylthreonyl
valylarginylphenylalanylprolylglycylaspartylvalyltyrosyllysylvalyltyrosylargin
yltyrosylasparaginylalanylvalylleucylaspartylprolylleucylisoleucylthreonylalan
ylleucylleucylglycylthreonylphenylalanylaspartylthreonylarginylasparaginylar
ginylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylvalylglutamylasparaginylglutaminylglutaminyls
erylprolylthreonylthreonylalanylglutamylthreonylleucylaspartylalanylthreonyla
rginylarginylvalylaspartylaspartylalanylthreonylvalylalanylisoleucylarginylser
ylalanylasparaginylisoleucylasparaginylleucylvalylasparaginylglutamylleucylva
lylarginylglycylthreonylglycylleucyltyrosylasparaginylglutaminylasparaginylth
reonylphenylalanylglutamylserylmethionylserylglycylleucylvalyltryptophylthreonylserylalanylprolylalanylserine. Good luck!

How to really annoy people: Spell out words when speaking. Example: It is time to take the d-o-g to the v-e-t. As if dogs cannot spell, right?

Are you looking for a way to advertise or promote your business or cause? Hold a spelling bee at a school, church, park, or community center, and invite the local news media to attend the event. Have a large banner made with your company or cause’s name on it to place behind the contestants so that any cameras pointed at the contestants will also clearly show the banner.

What if every profession held annual spelling bees?
- Actors should be asked to give their best efforts to spelling the words egotistical, narcissistic, humbleness, and modesty.
- Athletes might try to spell difficult words including temper, entertainer, clean, and consideration.
- Lawyers would be asked to spell challenging words such as ethics, malpractice, defender, and constitution.
- Politicians could be asked to spell unfamiliar words like honesty, truthfulness, service, and citizens.

The English language has 1,100 different ways to spell its 44 distinct sounds, more than any other language.

Jay: Are you going to the amusement park on Saturday?
Ray: Yes, I a-m g-o-i-n-g t-o the a-m-u-s-e-m-e-n-t p-a-r-k on S-a-t-u-r-d-a-y.
Jay: Are you sure you feel good enough to go?
Ray: I feel fine, although I do seem to have been s-t-u-n-g by a s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g b-e-e and I cannot stop spelling o-u-t words! Please h-e-l-p m-e!

Words and Spellings Quiz
- Do some words have more than one accepted spelling?
- Are the ‘spell checkers’ on computers always correct?
- Is the letter ‘y’ a consonant or a vowel?
- How many syllables are in the word ‘elementary’?
- How many syllables are in the word ‘rhythm’?
- Will eating honey help you get ready for a spelling bee?

“The dawn of legibility in his handwriting has revealed his utter inability to spell.” -attributed to Ian Hay (pseudonym of John Hay Beith (1876 - 1952))

‘Rhythms’ is the longest word that does not contain any of the five regular vowels (a, e, i, o, and u); however, it does contain the letter ‘y’ functioning as a vowel. Rhythms is a two-syllable word pronounced as rĭth′əmz. Very strange.

Ghoti

Take the ‘gh’ from rough, if you wish,
And from women, the ‘o,’ as in dish.
     Get a ‘ti’ from mention
     Or out of attention,
And g-h-o-t-i spells fish.

by Author Unknown

Words and Spellings Quiz Answers
- Some words have more than one accepted spelling, as for example, travelling/traveling and judgement/judgment.
- While spell checkers on computers are helpful, they are not always correct, and you will need to rely on your own knowledge, check other sources such as dictionaries, or ask people for help before making final decisions on spellings.
- The letter ‘y’ can be either a consonant or a vowel, depending on its placement in a word.
- The word ‘elementary’ contains 5 syllables: el-em-en-ta-ry.
- The word ‘rhythm’ contains 2 syllables: rhy-thm.
- There is no actual direct association between the insects called bees and the academic events called spelling bees. Spelling bees, much like quilting bees, are events at which people gather to engage in a common activity, reminiscent of the purported industriousness, or busyness, of bees.

Jason: One of the most commonly misspelled words is misspelled.
Jasper: What is it?
Jason: What is what?
Jasper: What is one of the most commonly misspelled words?

Why are words so difficult to spell? You can blame it on your ancestors, who not only gave you your eye color and the shape of your nose, but also decided to give you the spellings of your words. “Hey, how can we give posterity something to remind them of us? I know, we’ll leave difficult-to-spell words, that’ll make them think of us every time they have to communicate one with another!” And you in turn, are complicating life for generations to come by keeping the same exasperating system in place - so why not do something now for posterity by bringing uniformity and simplification to spelling?

Some words are difkolt - chalinjing - ridiquulus - just plain impossible to spell!

A monosyllabic word is one that contains only one syllable, as for example, the words peach, pear, and plum. Peculiar, isn’t it, how the word ‘monosyllabic’ has five syllable in it? Polysyllabic is an example of a polysyllabic word, which is a word containing two or more syllables, as also do the words apple, pineapple, berry, and watermelon.

Why is phonetic not spelled the way it sounds?

The five words in the English language with the letter combination ‘uu’ are: continuum, duumvir, duumvirate, residuum, and vacuum - although a sometimes also considered word is muumuu. Oddly, although ‘uu’ is a double-u, the two-letter combination is not pronounced like the letter ‘w.’ Confusion abounds everywhere.

“Is it just me, or have you ever noticed that the word ‘and’ resembles a cat in a defensive stance? The ‘a’ is the cat’s head, the ‘n’ is the cat’s arched back, and the ‘d’ is the cat’s raised tail. Nah, it couldn’t be . . . it’s just my ‘imagination.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

If someone invents an easier way to spell a word, should that person get a prize or an award of some kind? How about if we rename a letter of the alphabet after them? A, b, c, d, e, f, g . . . wait, don’t you mean A, b, c, Kevin, e, f, g?

“It’s a poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.” -Andrew Jackson

At MFOL! we spell life f-u-n. We should probably go back to school and learn how to spell it the right way . . .

Can Yuo Raed Tihs?

7/27/2019

Can Yuo Raed Tihs?

Can yuo raed tihs? Olny smoe plepoe can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. Wiht the phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh, and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed tihs, forwrad it to yuor frineds.

by Author Unknown

The Contraction Song

2/13/2019

The Contraction Song

I’m the first word; don’t change me!
     Don’t change me, don’t change me.
I’m the first word; don’t change me!
     Oh, no, just let me be.

When you change the second word,
     Second word, second word,
When you change the second word,
     A shorter word you’ll see.

Certain letters are taken out,
     Taken out, taken out.
Certain letters are taken out.
     One word will remain.

Apostrophe will fill that space,
     Fill that space, fill that space.
Apostrophe will fill that space,
     The rest will stay the same.

Can’t and couldn’t, isn’t, too.
     Isn’t, too, isn’t, too,
Won’t and I’ve and let’s, it’s true,
     Contractions every one.

I’m and she’s and you’re and he’d,
     You’re and he’d, you’re and he’d,
Wouldn’t, didn’t, we’ll and she’d,
     Good! And now we’re done.

by Author Unknown: can be sung to the same tune as that of, “London Bridge is Falling Down”

Are you ready for your contraction test? Read through the song, write out each contraction, and then write the words in their uncontracted form. For example, if the contraction shouldn’t were in the song, which it isn’t, you would write “shouldn’t - should not.”

AEIOU

2/7/2019

AEIOU

A is my name,
     Two sounds I make.
Short a in lamb,
     Long a in cake!

I is my name,
     Two sounds have I
Short i in pig,
     Long i in pie!

O is my name,
     Two sounds I know
Short o in pot,
     Long o in go!

E is my name,
     Two sounds for me
Short e in hen,
     Long e in he!

U is my name,
     Two sounds for you
Short u in cup,
     Long u in cue!

by Author Unknown

Punctuation Marks

1/31/2019

Punctuation Marks

The period is a busy person,
     A small round traffic cop.
Who blocks the helter-skelter words
     And brings them to a stop.

The question mark’s a little person,
     Who’s small but very wise;
And asks so many questions
     For a person of that size.

Of all the punctuation folk,
     I like the comma best.
For when I’m getting out of breath,
     It lets me take a rest.

Quotation marks are curious.
     When friendly talk begins
You’ll always find these little marks
     Are busy listening in.

The exclamation mark’s an elf,
     Who is easily excited.
When children laugh or there’s a shout,
     It’s then it’s most delighted.

by Author Unknown

3 Unusual Paragraphs

1/28/2019

3 Unusual Paragraphs

This paragraph looks so ordinary that you would think that nothing was wrong with it at all, and in fact, nothing is. But it is unusual. Why? If you study it and think about it, you may find out, but I am not going to assist you in any way. You must do it without any coaching. No doubt, if you work at it for long, it will dawn on you - but who knows? Go to work now and try your skill!

You probably cannot find any paragraph that is as unusual as this paragraph. But what is odd about it? That is hard to say at first, but as you study it, you will catch on, no doubt. I will add that you might look through thousands of paragraphs in any book - all containing as many words as this - and probably not find any that can boast this oddity. Do you know what it is?

This final paragraph is also an unusual paragraph. I’m curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks as ordinary and plain as any common paragraph. In fact, it is simply an ordinary paragraph! It is highly unusual, though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

Solution: Not a single letter ‘e’ can be found in any of the above paragraphs. Perhaps we could have titled this article ‘Absent E,’ but that would have given away the solution too quickly and too easily!

Test on Parts of Speech

1/23/2019

Test on Parts of Speech

Are you ready to challenge your knowledge? Take the following test, giving the name of the part of speech of the word inside the quotation marks.

1. The ‘brown’ dog quickly ran after the thief.
2. When the team returned, they ‘claimed’ victory.
3. ‘They’ also said they had fun.
4. Police will not say how the ‘criminal’ was captured.
5. James ‘patiently’ waited for the test results.
6. Is there really honor ‘among’ thieves?
7. ‘Dust’ covered everything in the room.
8. One book was ‘particularly’ dusty.
9. She packed both a hat ‘and’ gloves.
10. The football ‘sailed’ between the uprights.
11. ‘I’ will watch them.
12. The child ‘angrily’ stomped away from her mother.

Answers: 1. adjective. 2. verb. 3. pronoun. 4. noun. 5. adverb. 6. preposition. 7. noun. 8. adjective. 9. conjunction. 10. verb. 11. pronoun. 12. adverb.

A Misspelled Tail

1/20/2019

A Misspelled Tail

A little buoy said, “Mother, deer,
     May I go out too play?
The son is bright, the heir is clear,
     Owe, mother, don’t say neigh!”
“Go fourth, my sun,” the mother said.
     The ant said, “Take ewer slay,
Your gneiss knew sled, awl painted read,
     Butt dew knot lose your weigh.”
“Ah, know,” he cried, and sought the street
     With hart sew full of glee -
The whether changed - and snow and sleet,
     And reign, fell steadily.
Threw snowdrifts grate, threw watery pool,
     He flue with mite and mane -
Said he, “Though I wood walk by rule,
     I am not rite, ‘tis plane.
I’d like to meat sum kindly sole,
     For hear gnu dangers weight,
And yonder stairs a treacherous whole -
     Two sloe has been my gate.
A peace of bred, a nice hot stake,
     I’d chews if I were home,
This crewel fete my hart will brake,
     Eye love knot thus to roam.
I’m week and pail, I’ve mist my rode,”
     But here a carte came past,
He and his sled were safely toad
     Back two his home at last.

by Elizabeth T. Corbett: as published in “St. Nicholas” (1893), volume 20, page 475

Grammar in Rhyme

1/19/2019

Grammar in Rhyme

Three little words, you often see,
     Are articles A, An, and The.
A Noun is the name of anything,
     As School, or Garden, Hoop, or Swing.
Adjectives tell the kind of Noun,
     As Great, Small, Pretty, White, or Brown.
Instead of Nouns the Pronouns stand,
     Her head, His face, Your arm, My hand.
Verbs tell something being done -
     To Read, Count, Laugh, Sing, Jump, or Run.
How things are done the Adverbs tell,
     As Slowly, Quickly, Ill, or Well.
Conjunctions join the words together -
     As men And women, wind Or weather.
The Preposition stands before
     A noun, as In or Through a door,
The Interjection shows surprise,
     As Oh! how pretty! Ah! how wise!
The Whole are called nine parts of speech,
     Which reading, writing, speaking teach.

by Emilie Poulsson

Anne Emilie Poulsson was born on 8 September 1853 in Cedar Grove, New Jersey, United States of America. She became a teacher for the blind at the Perkins School, a writer, a poet, and a translator of written works from Norwegian into English. Anne Emilie Poulsson passed on at 85 years of age on 18 March 1939.

Parts of a Sentence

1/18/2019

Parts of a Sentence

A sentence, sentence, sentence
Is complete, complete, complete
When 5 simple rules it meets, meets, meets.
It has a subject, subject,
And a verb, verb, verb.
It makes sense, sense, sense
With every word, word, word.
Add a capital letter and end mark, mark,
Now our sentence has all its parts.

by Author Unknown