All work and no play
makes Jack a dull boy;
All play and no work
makes Jack a mere toy.
by Author Unknown
“I tell you, sir, the only safeguard of order and discipline in the modern world is a standardized worker with interchangeable parts. That would solve the entire problem of management.” -Jean Giraudoux (Hippolyte Jean Giraudoux (1882 - 1944))
“Doctor Lillian Gilbreth, professor of management at Purdue University, studied women in a dress factory. Some of them were limp with fatigue; some bright-eyed and wide awake. Yet all the women had been working the same number of hours. Doctor Gilbreth found that most of the wide-awake ones had plans for the evening - a party or a date - and were anticipating a good time. The tired ones were those who had nothing to look forward to.” -Amy Selwyn: as quoted in “Coronet” magazine
Let us realize that:
the privilege to work is a gift,
the power to work is a blessing,
the love of work is success!
-David O. McKay (David Oman McKay (1873 - 1970))
Boss: The person who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
“Work banishes those three great evils: boredom, vice, and poverty.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom - I’ll show you how.”
The first United States Minimum Wage Law was instituted in 1938. The minimum wage was set at 25 cents per hour.
“Work is either fun or drudgery. It depends on your attitude. I like fun.” -Colleen C. Barrett (born 1944)
“Every job has drudgery, whether it is in the home, in the professional school, or in the office. The first secret of happiness is the recognition of this fundamental fact.” -M. C. McIntosh
“It doesn’t matter whose payroll you are on, you are working for yourself.” -Author Unknown
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One manager let employees know how valuable they are with the following memo:
You Arx A Kxy Pxrson
Xvxn though my typxwritxr is an old modxl, it works vxry wxll - xxcxpt for onx kxy. You would think that with all thx othxer kxys functioning propxrly, onx kxy not working would hardly bx noticxd; but just onx kxy out of whack sxxms to ruin thx wholx xffort.
You may say to yoursxlf - Wxll, I’m only onx pxrson. No onx will noticx if I don’t do my bxst. But it doxs makx a diffxrxncx, bxcausx an xffxctivx organization nxxds activx participation by xvxry onx to thx bxst of his or hxr ability.
So, thx nxxt timx you think you arx not important, rxmxmbxr my old typxwritxr. You arx a kxy pxrson.
by Thx Boss
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“The highest reward from your working is not what you get for it but what you become by it.” -Sydney J. Harris (Sydney Justin Harris (1917 - 1986))
Employee: Sir, I’ve been with you for twenty-seven years, and I’ve never before asked for a raise.
Boss: That’s why you’ve been with me for twenty-seven years.
The following was found in an employee handbook: “Be thankful for your problems, because if they were less difficult, someone with less ability and lower pay would have your job.”
The Fable of the Crow and the Rabbit.
A crow was sitting in a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground under the tree, and took his leisure. Suddenly, a fox appeared, pounced on the rabbit, and ate it. The moral of the story is, to be able to lounge around and do nothing all day, you must be sitting very, very high up.
by Author Unknown
“Variety may be the spice of life, but monotony provides the groceries.” -Author Unknown
1. The boss is always right.
2. When the boss is wrong, refer to Rule 1.
by Author Unknown
On the morning of the last day of school, Johnny’s mother went into his bedroom and hollered, “Wake up and get ready for school!” Johnny pulled the sheets up over his face and muttered, “Give me one good reason why I should go to school today.” His mother answered, “Well, for starters, you are the school principal.”
A guy showed up late for work. The boss yelled, “You should’ve been here at 8:30!” The guy replied, “Why? What happened at 8:30?”
by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“A human being must have occupation, if he or she is not to become a nuisance to the world.” -Dorothy L. Sayers (Dorothy Leigh Sayers (1893 - 1957)): “Are Women Human?” (1938); type of work: address given to a women’s society
“I have to take my paycheck to the bank. It’s too little to go by itself.” -Author Unknown
“. . . a fair day’s wages for a fair day’s work.” -Author Unknown: as quoted by Alpheus Cary in a speech (7 October 1824) at Faneuil Hall, Boston, Massachusetts, United States of America
Personnel Director, speaking to new trainee: “. . . or, if you prefer, you can elect to skip coffee breaks entirely, and retire three years sooner.”
“Give sail to ability.” -Author Unknown: Japanese proverb
“Now, before I agree to take this job,” the young applicant said, “I have one question. Are the hours long?” “Well,” the manager said, “we try our best to keep them limited to sixty minutes.”
A meeting was in progress when all the lights went out. The department head asked everyone present to raise their hands. As soon as everyone complied, the lights went on again. The department head said, “We have just proved the truth of the saying, ‘Many hands make light work.’”
“What we do for a living does not matter as much as how we do it.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1848 - 1924))
“Business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before important meetings.” -Scott Adams (Scott Raymond Adams (born 1957))
Overheard: At the end of the work day, we tell our employees, “You are fired. Come back tomorrow morning, and we’ll re-hire you.”
“There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes.” -William Bennett (William John Bennett (born 1943))
The boss joined a group of workers in a meeting and told some jokes he’d heard recently. Everybody laughed loudly. Everybody, that is, except Bonnie. When the boss noticed that he was getting no reaction from Bonnie, he said, “What’s the matter, Bonnie? No sense of humor?” “My sense of humor is fine,” she said. “But I don’t have to laugh. I’m starting a job with another company tomorrow.”
Employee Breakroom Notice: Your Mother Does Not Work Here, So You Will Have To Clean Up Your Own Messes.
“Thank God every morning when you get up that you have something to do that day which must be done, whether you like it or not. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you temperance and self-control, diligence and strength of will, cheerfulness and content, and a hundred virtues which the idle never know.” -Charles Kingsley (1819 - 1875)
“Don’t let your superiors know that you are better than they are.” -Arthur Bloch (born 1948)
So, you are thinking of becoming a comedian, musician, artist, song writer, actor, inventor, poet . . . these are interesting ‘sidelines,’ but as they say, “Don’t quit your day job,” because you will need a means to support yourself while you pursue your creative ideas, and that means having a ‘real job’ with a real income that pays the rent and puts food on the table during the years it will take for you to develop a talent and years it will take for you to be discovered. Yes, you should definitely pursue your dreams - while continuing to work at the job that provides you with an income.
A man said to his wife, “I don’t want to go to work today. It’s a jungle out there.” She said, “Don’t worry, I put a banana in your lunchbox.”
“You don’t get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))
Desk: A waste-paper basket with drawers.
“We spend most of our lives working. So why do so few people have a good time doing it?” -Richard Branson (Richard Charles Nicholas Branson (born 1950)), as quoted in the “New York Times” (18 February 1993) newspaper
“Don’t bother to boast of your work to others; good work speaks for itself.” -Author Unknown
“They laughed when they saw him put iodine on his paycheck. They didn’t know he had an awful cut in his salary.” -Author Unknown
Now I get me up to work,
I pray, the Lord, I may not shirk.
If I should die before tonight,
I pray, the Lord, my work’s all right.
by Author Unknown
“Making a living is best undertaken as a part of the more important business of making a life.” -Author Unknown
“Doing a job right the first time gets the job done.” -Author Unknown
“Everything considered, work is less boring than amusing oneself.” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)
“Keep your eye on the ball, your shoulder to the wheel, and your ear to the ground - now try to work in that position.” -Author Unknown
“A ‘people churner’ is a bad employee who causes a company to lose all of its good employees. Some companies have a gang, or a group of people churners, that work together to cause good employees to flee the company to find work elsewhere. What eventually happens to a company that loses all of its good employees?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.” -James Baldwin (1924 - 1987)
“I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth, even if it costs them their jobs.” -Samuel Goldwyn (also known as Samuel Goldfish, born Szmuel Gelbfisz (1879 - 1974))
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” -Peter Drucker (Peter Ferdinand Drucker (1909 - 2005))
“Work is more fun than fun.” -Noël Coward (1899 - 1973)
Boss to new employee: Amazing - you’ve been with us only two days and already you’re a month behind.
“Labor, if it were not necessary for existence, would be indispensable for the happiness of man.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)
Overheard: I was thinking that with a few more deductions, my take-home pay wouldn’t be enough to get me there. Then, it finally happened - the deductions and withholdings have now exceeded my earnings, and last week, the company didn’t send me a pay check, they sent me a bill!
“Work offers us the opportunity to discover who we are and what we can do.” -Author Unknown
“Work is the basis of living. I’ll never retire. A man’ll rust out quicker than he’ll wear out.” -Harland Sanders (Harland David ‘Colonel’ Sanders (1890 - 1980))
Overheard: When I asked for a work break, my supervisor said, “You don’t need a break. We gave you one when we hired you.”
“Get happiness out of your work or you may never know what happiness is.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))
“Work: Something to do between weekends.” -Author Unknown
“As a remedy against all ills - poverty, sickness, and melancholy - only one thing is absolutely necessary: a liking for work.” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)
“The best augury of a man’s success in his profession is that he thinks it the finest in the world.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans (1819 - 1880))
“By 1960, work will be limited to three hours a day.” -John Langdon-Davies (1897 - 1971)
“The most important question to ask on the job is not, “What am I getting?” The most important question to ask on the job is, ‘What am I becoming?’” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009)): “Jim Rohn’s Weekly E-zine” (11 February 2003)
“Be a friendly person to your co-workers. Say nice things to them. Help them when they least expect it.” -Jeffrey Gitomer (born 1946)
“If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.” -Author Unknown
“It is the first of all problems for a man to find out what kind of work he is to do in this Universe.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881): “Address at Edinburgh” (2 April 1866)
“Find something in life you can give the best of yourself to.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Well, it is time to go to work again . . . we hope to see you right back here at MFOL! when your shift ends . . .