“In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.” -Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
“What makes a house a home are the people who live there.” -Author Unknown
“My dad, he’s a nuclear physicist, my mom, she’s a mathematician, my brother is a chemical engineer - and I like to color.” -Shashi Bhatia
“There is no synthetic replacement for a decent home life. Our high crime rate, particularly among juveniles, is directly traceable to a breakdown in moral fiber - to the disintegration of home and family life. Religion and home life are supplementary. Each strengthens the other. It is seldom that a solid and wholesome home life can be found in the absence of religious inspiration.” -J. Edgar Hoover (John Edgar Hoover (1895 - 1972)): as quoted in the “Christian Herald”
Father: Did you children help your mother today?
First Child: Yes, daddy. I washed the dishes.
Second Child: I dried them.
Third Child: I picked up the pieces.
“A clean, comfortable dwelling, with wholesome meals, is no small aid to intellectual and moral progress. A man living in a damp cellar or a garret open to rain and snow, breathing the foul air of a filthy room, and striving without success to appease hunger on scanty or unsavory food, is in danger of abandoning himself to a desperate, selfish recklessness. Improve, then, your lot. Multiply comforts, and, still more, get wealth if you can by honorable means, and if it does not cost too much.” -William Ellery Channing (1780 - 1842)
My Little Sister
My little sister
Likes to eat.
But when she does
She’s not too neat.
The trouble is
She doesn’t know
The food should go!
by William Wise (born 1923)
“We often speak of a family circle, but there are none too many of them. Parallel lines never meeting, squares, triangles . . . these and other geometrical figures abound, but circles are comparatively few.” -Kate Douglas Wiggin (1856 - 1923): “Mother Carey’s Chickens” (1911)
Daryl: Your sister is spoiled, isn’t she?
Aaron: No, that’s just the perfume she’s wearing.
The Family Bible
Old Brother Higgins built a shelf
for the Family Bible to rest itself
lest a sticky finger or grimy thumb
might injure the delicate pages some.
He cautioned his children to touch it not
and it rested there with never a blot
though the Higgins tribe were a troublesome lot.
His neighbor, Miggins, built a shelf
“Come children,” he said, “and help yourself.”
His book is old and ragged and worn,
with some of the choicest pages torn,
where children have fingered and thumbed and read.
But of the Miggins tribe I’ve heard it said,
each carries a Bible in his head.
by Author Unknown
“In our family,” a little girl told her teacher, “everybody married relatives. My father married my mother, my uncle married my aunt, and just the other day I found out that my grandfather married my grandmother.”
“One day as we were driving through the country, my small son David spoke up excitedly, saying, “Oh, mother, look at the cow’s popsicle!” I looked over in a field and saw a cow calmly licking a large block of salt which was placed atop a small post in the ground.” -Helen MacMillan
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room, the television was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside, he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Towels lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, “What happened here today?” She again smiled and answered, “You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?” “Yes?” was his incredulous reply. She answered, “Well, today I didn’t do it.”
Home: A place where a man can say what he likes - because no one takes any notice of him anyway.
“All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910)): “Anna Karenina” (1875 - 1877), part I, chapter 1
“A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.” -George Moore (George Augustus Moore (1852 - 1933)): “The Brook Kerith” (1916), chapter 11
“Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head.” -Martin Mull (Martin Eugene Mull (born 1943))
“Home is where the heart is.” -Pliny (Gaius Plinius Secundus, also known as Pliny the Elder (C.E. 23 - C.E. 79)) (similar quotation attributed to James J. McCloskey)
Homes and Families Quiz
- What is fun for the whole family?
- How often should a family share a meal together?
- Who leads a family?
“[Matthew] knows what he would like to do but he’s not sure where he could find a rocket that would shoot [his sister] Vanessa to Mars.” -Paula Danziger: “Earth to Matthew” (1991)
“A family is a haven of rest, a sanctuary of peace, and most of all, a harbor of love.” -Manny Feldman
“For a man’s home is his castle.” -Edward Coke (1552 - 1634): “Third Institute” (1644)
“I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.” -Will Marsh (2012)
“The family that prays together stays together.” -Al Scalpone (Alfred James Scalpone (1913 - 2000))
“The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” -Maya Angelou (Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))
“A loving family provides the foundation children need to succeed, and strong families with a man and a woman - bonded together for life - always have been, and always will be, the key to such families.” -Jim Bunning (James Paul David Bunning (1931 - 2017))
“This world will be no better than its homes.” -Richard L. Evans (Richard Louis Evans (1906 - 1971))
“The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.” -George Santayana (1863 - 1952): “The Life of Reason” (1905)
’Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,
Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home.
-J. H. Payne (John Howard Payne (1791 - 1852)): “Clari, or The Maid of Milan” (1823), ‘Home! Sweet Home!’; poem and ballad (song) within an opera
“A happy family is but an earlier Heaven.” -John Bowring (1792 - 1872) (similar quotation attributed to George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950))
There Was an Old Woman
There was an old woman
Who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children
She didn’t know what to do.
She gave them some broth
Without any bread.
She kissed them all sweetly
And sent them to bed.
by Author Unknown: a Mother Goose rhyme
“He that will have none but a perfect brother must resign himself to remain brotherless.” -Author Unknown
“Wherever we are together, that is home.” -Author Unknown
“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” -Teresa of Calcutta (Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997))
“Blessed be the ties that bind generations.” -Author Unknown
“Family: A unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold virus.” -Ogden Nash (Frederick Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971))
“Good homes are still the best source of good humans.” -Neal A. Maxwell (Neal Ash Maxwell (1926 - 2004)): as quoted in “Ensign” (October 1974), page 71
“Family: A group of people, no two of whom like their breakfast eggs cooked the same way.” -Author Unknown
“Home is home, be it never so homely.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2523
“Three essential ingredients in the recipe for a happier family life are prayer, patience, and understanding.” -Author Unknown
“What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on?” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862): letter (20 May 1860) to Harrison Gray Otis Blake, as published in “Familiar Letters” (1865)
Family ties are precious threads, no matter where we roam,
They draw us close to those we love, and pull our hearts toward home.
“The family unit plays a critical role in our society and in the training of the generation to come.” -Sandra Day O’Connor (born 1930)
“If this world affords true happiness, it is to be found in a home where love and confidence increase with the years, where the necessities of life come without severe strain, where luxuries enter only after their cost has been carefully considered.” -Alfred Edward Newton
“Family is just accident . . . They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are.” -Marsha Norman (born 1947)
“Home wasn’t built in a day.” -Jane Sherwood Ace (1905 - 1974): “Easy Aces” radio show (1928 - 1945): “The Fine Art of Hypochondria by Goodman Ace” (1966)
“A family is where holidays are celebrated with feasting, birthdays are acknowledged with gifts, and thoughts of days gone by kept alive with fond remembrances.” -Manny Feldman
“When there is love in the home there is joy in the heart.” -Author Unknown
“Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.” -David Ogden Stiers (David Allen Ogden Stiers (1942 - 2018))
A house is made of wood and stone,
But only love can make a home.
“Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible - the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.” -Virginia Satir
This is MFOL! . . . much more follows below . . . some serious and some not so serious . . . and some that is difficult to be sure of at all . . .