“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.” -Alfred Tennyson (1809 - 1892)
Jeremy: How do you make a flower grow faster?
Jerome: Just push the ‘accelerator petal.’
Who bends a knee where violets grow
A hundred secret things shall know.
-Rachael Field (Rachael Lyman Field (1894 - 1942)): “The Pointed People” (1924), ‘A Charm for Spring Flowers’
Things to Do If You Are a Flower
- Be a wonderful color like purplish-pink or peach or yellow.
- Count every star in the night sky.
- Dance in the breeze.
- Be beautiful in your own way.
- Grow toward the Sun.
- Listen to the wind.
- Be tickled by raindrops.
- Smell good.
- Speak of love without saying a word.
What would you do if you were a flower?
In 1634 in the Netherlands, a collector traded 454 kilograms (1,000 pounds) of cheese, four oxen, eight pigs, twelve sheep, a bed, and a suit of clothes for a single bulb of the Viceroy tulip . . . He traded a farm for a flower.
“There are always flowers for those who want to see them.” -Henri Matisse (1869 - 1954)
Rose: Why could the flower not ride a bicycle?
Daisy: Because she could not reach the pedals with her petals.
“Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made, and forgot to put a soul into.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887): “Life Thoughts” (1858)
“If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.” -Doug Larson (1902 - 1981): as quoted in “Reader’s Digest” (1984)
Daisy: What did one rose say to the other?
Iris: “Hi, Bud!”
“When I walk with you, I feel as if I had a flower in my buttonhole.” -William M. Thackeray (William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863))
Molly: What kind of flowers grow on your face?
“Flowers have spoken to me more than I can tell in written words. They are the hieroglyphics of angels loved by all men for the beauty of their character though few can decipher even fragments of their meaning.” -Lydia M. Child (Lydia Maria Francis Child (1802 - 1880))
The foxglove with its stately bells
Of purple shall adorn thy dells.
-D. M. Moir
“The fragrance always remains in the hand that gives the rose.” -Heda Béjar (1931 - 2014)
“Every flower blooms in its own sweet time.” -Author Unknown
“People from a planet without flowers would think we must be mad with joy the whole time to have such things about us.” - Iris Murdoch (Jean Iris ‘Iris’ Murdoch (1919 - 1999)): “A Fairly Honorable Defeat” (1970)
I will be the gladdest thing
Under the Sun!
I will touch a hundred flowers
And not pick one.
by Edna Saint Vincent Millay (1892 - 1950): “Afternoon on a Hill”
“I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some.” -Herbert Rappaport (Gerbert Moritsevich Rappaport (1908 - 1983))
“It’s okay to send flowers, but don’t let the flowers do all the talking. Flowers have a limited vocabulary. About the best flowers can say is that you remembered. But your words tell the rest.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))
Pluck not the wayside flower;
It is the traveler’s dower.
A thousand passersby
Its beauties may espy,
To win a touch of blessing
From nature’s mild caressing.
by William Allingham (1824 - 1889): “Wayside Flowers”
“All flowers are not to be picked; some are meant to stay rooted so their beauty may continue to sing praises unto nature.” -Grace Terrell
“Take care of your peonies and the dahlias will take care of themselves.” -F. P. Adams (Franklin Pierce Adams (1881 - 1960))
Ezekiel: What do you get when you cross a flower with a monkey?
“Whatever a man’s age, he can reduce it several years by putting a bright-colored flower in his buttonhole.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))
“God gave us our memories so that we might have roses in December.” -James Matthew Barrie (1860 - 1937)
Plato: What kind of flowers do you give to a monster?
Socrates: Mari-ghouls and morning-gories.
“Lord, make us mindful of the little things that grow and blossom in these days to make the world beautiful for us.” -W. E. B. Du Bois William Edward Burghardt Du Bois (1868 - 1963)
Broccoli and cauliflower are not only flowers, but are vegetables for your dinner plate as well.
“Many flowers are good fried or frittered. Blossoms of squash, pumpkin, honey locust, daylily, elderberry, and yucca are all tasty. Yucca flowers are also delicious stir-fried with green peppers and garlic.” -Homer Stillson (1930)
The largest flower in the world, Rafflesia arnoldii, grows in Indonesia and can be as much as 0.9 meters (3 feet wide) and weigh as much as 6.8 kilograms (15 pounds).
“Of what are you afraid, my child?” inquired the kindly teacher.
“Oh, sir! The flowers, they are wild,” replied the timid creature.
by Peter Newell (1862 - 1924): “Pictures and Rhymes” (1899)
“Flowers are as common in the country as people are in London.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))
Annabelle: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Bernice: Blushing June brides! (Alternative answers would include ‘Pilgrims’ or ‘Allergies.’)
“The flower which is single, need not envy the thorns that are numerous.” - Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)
The name of the flower ‘heliotrope’ is derived from the ancient Greek words ‘helios’ meaning ‘sun’ and ‘trepos’ meaning ‘turning to go into to,’ because its leaves and flowers turn toward the Sun. The daffodil flower’s name is from the Old English ‘affo dyle’ meaning ‘that which cometh early’ because it is one of the earliest in the year flowers to bloom. The iris flower is named after the Greek goddess Iris, who was believed to carry messages of love from Heaven to Earth using a rainbow as her bridge. Irises are named after her because they bloom in just about all the colors of the rainbow. Doctor Joel Poinsett, the first American ambassador to Mexico, brought the poinsettia to the United States in 1828. The plant, called ‘flower of the blessed night’ in Mexico, was renamed in Poinsett’s honor and is commonly used as a Christmas decoration.
“The flower that follows the Sun does so even in cloudy days.” -Robert Leighton (1611 - 1684)
“Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns. I am thankful that thorns have roses.” -Alphonse Karr (Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr (1808 - 1890))
“Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food, and medicine to the mind.” -Luther Burbank (1849 - 1926)
Anthophobia is a persistent fear of flowers, or parts of flowers. It is not difficult to imagine someone having this fear, considering that flowers are associated with bees and commitment. Still, dating someone with anthophobia could save you a lot of money around Valentine’s Day, birthdays, and other holidays. ‘Anthophobia’ is derived from the Greek words ‘anthos’ meaning ‘flower’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’ My, what pretty - and scary - flowers!
“The grape Hyacinth is the favorite Spring flower of my garden - but no! I thought a minute ago the Scilla was! and what place has the Violet? the Flower de Luce? I cannot decide, but this I know - it is some blue flower.” -Alice Morse Earle (1851 - 1911)
“I perhaps owe having become a painter to flowers.” -Claude Monet (Oscar-Claude ‘Claude’ Monet (1840 - 1926))
Flowering plants that need to attract moths for pollination are generally white or pale yellow, to be better seen in dim light. Plants that depend on butterflies for pollination have brightly colored flowers.
“Every flower must push through the dirt in order to get to bath in the sunlight.” -Author Unknown
“Flowers are happy things.” -P. G. Wodehouse (Pelham Grenville Wodehouse (1881 - 1975))
Merlin: What flower is the happiest?
Mervin: The glad-iola.
Wild Flower Alphabet
A for the Aconite, first of the year,
B for the Buttercup, able to hold Dewdrop
And rain in its chalice of gold.
C for the Cowslip, sweet joy of the Spring;
When cowslips are blooming the nightingales sing.
D for the Daisy, white star of the grass,
Lifting its bright eye to us as we pass.
E for the Eglantine, lovely wild rose,
Sheds fragrance of sweetbriar where - ever it grows.
F for the Foxglove, the sentinel tall,
Guarding the forest from Summer to Fall.
G for the Gorse of rich golden delight;
Linnaeus went down on his knees at the sight.
H for the Harebell, so fragile, yet strong,
The dear little Blue Bells of Scotland in song.
I for the Iris which grows by the stream,
The Flower of the Rainbow, how golden its gleam!
J for Saint John’s Wort, of medical fame,
Balm of the Warrior’s Wound was its name.
K for the Kingcup that loves marshy fields,
And glorious the harvest of gold that it yields!
L for the Ling, the dear flower of the heath,
How tender its color, how fragrant its breath!
M for the Meadowsweet, pleasant and rare
Is the perfume with which it enchanteth the air!
N for the Nightshade, or Bittersweet, flower,
With its berries and blossoms of poisonous power.
O for the Oxlip, a flower that you’ll find
When cowslips and orchids in posies you bind.
P for the Primrose, recalling to sight
Paths in the woodland a-shimmer with light.
Q for the Quaking grass, name that it takes
From the way it unceasingly shivers and shakes.
R for the Rest-harrow, staying the plough,
Food for the gentle-eyed, ruminant cow.
S for the Speedwell, tenderest blue;
From the skies it has taken its exquisite hue.
T for the traveler’s Joy that you’ll find
Where sweet sheltering hedgerows wander and wind.
U for the Upright Sea-lavender flower;
The sand-swallows claim it for sheltering bower.
V for the Violet, flower of the soul,
Heart’s-ease of Paradise, making us whole.
W for windflower, so fair to the sight,
That throws o’er the woodlands her mantle of light.
X forms a cross in the Passion-flower wild
In Southern America, balmy and mild.
Y for the Yarrow, all wayfarers know,
As it grows by the wayside where ever you go.
Z is the ribbon this posy to bind,
With the thoughts and the fragrance
It brings to your mind.
by Author Unknown
“If a flower blooms once, it goes on blooming somewhere forever. It blooms on for whoever has seen it blooming.” -William H. Armstrong (William Howard Armstrong (1911 - 1999)): “Sounder” (1969)
“Where flowers bloom so does hope.” -Claudia Alta ‘Lady Bird’ Taylor Johnson (1912 - 2007): remark (1 October 1965) at the Annual Convention of the Associated Press Managing Editors Association
This is MFOL! . . . now let us tiptoe through the tulips . . . on our way to more making fun of life . . .