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Welcome to the Silly Table of Contents, where you will find a list of pages, each one filled with humor, inspiration, and learning in short stories, concise quotations, perky poems, and pretty-near-perfect pictures. Simply click or tap on any of the colorful pictures below to go directly to the website page.
Thank you for visiting MFOL! . . . the internet’s most ridiculous website . . .
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Various Artists - Click Or Tap On Arrow To Play Or Replay Music Or Audio Or Refresh This Page - That's Just Silly
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Computer Generated Jokes
The following riddles and jokes were created by BADJOKE.EXE, an MS-DOS program, in order to fill the blank space on this page.
How can you tell when a mechanic has adjusted your breaks? There will be mobile devices circling your pizza! How can you tell when a tennis racket is coming towards your spaceship? There are laughing traveling salesmen on your front lawn! How do you get 100 gargoyles into a conference room? Throw in a lawn sprinkler! Why do motorcycles fold revitalized paint rollers? To build their skyscrapers! Why do acrobats have revenue collectors? So that yaks will follow them! What do you get when you cross a pretzel and a chicken? Any old mouse! What did the hippie say to the drummer? “Ignorance is better with popcorn, baby!” What did the tiger say to the lawn sprinkler? “Invest in gladiolas, a renewable resource!” How can you tell when a water cooler has been beside your houseplant? There are schematic scanners all over your electromagnetic relays! Why do fax machines have televisions? So that photocopiers can spy on them! Who was that person I saw you with last night? That was no person, that was my toothpaste! What do a toddler and a fossilized tree have in common? The both eat clouds! When is a toothbrush not a toothbrush? When it’s a flabby cornfield! What do you call a bill collector who has married a creditor? A bank loan officer! Waiter, there’s a cranberry near my polar ice cap! Shhh! Everyone will want one! Why do yaks have hair? So hermit crabs will build nests in them! How do you get 100 horses into a drainpipe? Serve a potato salad! What do you get when you cross a gangplank and a staircase? An elevated walkway! What do a lovesick armadillo and a grouchy dinosaur have in common? They both carry lollipops! Why do oars study automatic doors? To graduate from college! What time is it when a kettle steals your boiled fish stew? Time to get a new dishwasher! What do a married shark and a left-handed wristwatch have in common? They both visit hi-resolution energy sources! What do you call a guru who has a pet armadillo? A violin quartet! Why do bats have televisions? So that orange collectors will distract them! How do you get 100 ideas into a rechargeable battery? Restock the nacelles! When is a cornfield not a cornfield? When it’s a cow’s best friend! How can you tell when a senator has been inside your kitchen cabinets? There are hi-rise parking tickets calling your revenue collectors! Why do television designers have eyes? So that tablets will light up! When is a pencil sharpener not a pencil sharpener? When it’s a ridiculous milk shake! What do a green photocopier and a gaudy farmer have in common? They both buy whole cranberries! Why do armadillos have flying saucers? So that ducks will be amazed! What do a greedy teapot and a housebroken phonebook have in common? They both stall revitalized automobiles! What did the toothbrush say to the pig? “I like to stay informed about current technology!” How do you get 100 cows into a hovercraft? Sweep the surface of the Moon! What did the chicken say to the cookie jar? “Let’s swim the English Channel on Tuesday!” Why did the race jockey marry his neighbor? To acquire another solar-powered parking ticket! When is an insurance salesman not an insurance salesman? When he’s a blueberry bush! What do a yellow puppy and an overworked giraffe have in common? They both feed grilled onions to crowds of admirers! What do you get when you cross a skyscraper and a vending machine? A holographic chicken! What time is it when a kitchen spatula touches your electric toothbrush? Time to get a new toothbrush or dance on a city sidewalk! Why do lakes have aerobics instructors? So that ostriches will run around them! What do you call a sheep who has a piano? A skateboard millionaire! What do an awe-inspiring toothbrush and a cheap canned soup have in common? Neither can bounce in zero gravity! What time is it when an elephant talks to you in your dreams? Time to get a new floral arrangement!
This is MFOL! . . . where there is always something funny going on!
The following riddles and jokes were created by BADJOKE.EXE, an MS-DOS program, in order to fill the blank space on this page.
How can you tell when a mechanic has adjusted your breaks? There will be mobile devices circling your pizza! How can you tell when a tennis racket is coming towards your spaceship? There are laughing traveling salesmen on your front lawn! How do you get 100 gargoyles into a conference room? Throw in a lawn sprinkler! Why do motorcycles fold revitalized paint rollers? To build their skyscrapers! Why do acrobats have revenue collectors? So that yaks will follow them! What do you get when you cross a pretzel and a chicken? Any old mouse! What did the hippie say to the drummer? “Ignorance is better with popcorn, baby!” What did the tiger say to the lawn sprinkler? “Invest in gladiolas, a renewable resource!” How can you tell when a water cooler has been beside your houseplant? There are schematic scanners all over your electromagnetic relays! Why do fax machines have televisions? So that photocopiers can spy on them! Who was that person I saw you with last night? That was no person, that was my toothpaste! What do a toddler and a fossilized tree have in common? The both eat clouds! When is a toothbrush not a toothbrush? When it’s a flabby cornfield! What do you call a bill collector who has married a creditor? A bank loan officer! Waiter, there’s a cranberry near my polar ice cap! Shhh! Everyone will want one! Why do yaks have hair? So hermit crabs will build nests in them! How do you get 100 horses into a drainpipe? Serve a potato salad! What do you get when you cross a gangplank and a staircase? An elevated walkway! What do a lovesick armadillo and a grouchy dinosaur have in common? They both carry lollipops! Why do oars study automatic doors? To graduate from college! What time is it when a kettle steals your boiled fish stew? Time to get a new dishwasher! What do a married shark and a left-handed wristwatch have in common? They both visit hi-resolution energy sources! What do you call a guru who has a pet armadillo? A violin quartet! Why do bats have televisions? So that orange collectors will distract them! How do you get 100 ideas into a rechargeable battery? Restock the nacelles! When is a cornfield not a cornfield? When it’s a cow’s best friend! How can you tell when a senator has been inside your kitchen cabinets? There are hi-rise parking tickets calling your revenue collectors! Why do television designers have eyes? So that tablets will light up! When is a pencil sharpener not a pencil sharpener? When it’s a ridiculous milk shake! What do a green photocopier and a gaudy farmer have in common? They both buy whole cranberries! Why do armadillos have flying saucers? So that ducks will be amazed! What do a greedy teapot and a housebroken phonebook have in common? They both stall revitalized automobiles! What did the toothbrush say to the pig? “I like to stay informed about current technology!” How do you get 100 cows into a hovercraft? Sweep the surface of the Moon! What did the chicken say to the cookie jar? “Let’s swim the English Channel on Tuesday!” Why did the race jockey marry his neighbor? To acquire another solar-powered parking ticket! When is an insurance salesman not an insurance salesman? When he’s a blueberry bush! What do a yellow puppy and an overworked giraffe have in common? They both feed grilled onions to crowds of admirers! What do you get when you cross a skyscraper and a vending machine? A holographic chicken! What time is it when a kitchen spatula touches your electric toothbrush? Time to get a new toothbrush or dance on a city sidewalk! Why do lakes have aerobics instructors? So that ostriches will run around them! What do you call a sheep who has a piano? A skateboard millionaire! What do an awe-inspiring toothbrush and a cheap canned soup have in common? Neither can bounce in zero gravity! What time is it when an elephant talks to you in your dreams? Time to get a new floral arrangement!
This is MFOL! . . . where there is always something funny going on!
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Hiding
I’m hiding, I’m hiding,
And no one knows where;
For all they can see is my
Toes and my hair.
And I just heard my father
Say to my mother -
“But, darling, he must be
Somewhere or other;”
“Have you looked in the inkwell?”
And Mother said, “Where?”
“In the inkwell,” said Father. But
I was not there.
Then “Wait!” cried my mother -
“I think that I see
Him under the carpet.” But
It was not me. “Inside the mirror’s
A pretty good place,”
Said Father and looked, but saw
Only his face.
“We’ve hunted,” sighed Mother,
“As hard as we could
And I am so afraid that we’ve
Lost him for good.”
Then I laughed out aloud
And I wiggled my toes
And Father said - “Look, dear,
I wonder if those
“Toes could be Benny’s?
There are ten of them, see?
And they were so surprised to find
Out it was me!
By Dorothy Aldis
Dorothy Aldis was born as Dorothy Keeley on 13 March 1896 in Chicago, Illinois, United States of America. She became a children’s author and a poet. Her books include “Hiding” (1920) and “Nothing Is Impossible: The Story of Beatrix Potter” (1969). Dorothy Aldis passed on at 70 years of age on 4 July 1966 in Lake Forest, Illinois, United States of America.
I’m hiding, I’m hiding,
And no one knows where;
For all they can see is my
Toes and my hair.
And I just heard my father
Say to my mother -
“But, darling, he must be
Somewhere or other;”
“Have you looked in the inkwell?”
And Mother said, “Where?”
“In the inkwell,” said Father. But
I was not there.
Then “Wait!” cried my mother -
“I think that I see
Him under the carpet.” But
It was not me. “Inside the mirror’s
A pretty good place,”
Said Father and looked, but saw
Only his face.
“We’ve hunted,” sighed Mother,
“As hard as we could
And I am so afraid that we’ve
Lost him for good.”
Then I laughed out aloud
And I wiggled my toes
And Father said - “Look, dear,
I wonder if those
“Toes could be Benny’s?
There are ten of them, see?
And they were so surprised to find
Out it was me!
By Dorothy Aldis
Dorothy Aldis was born as Dorothy Keeley on 13 March 1896 in Chicago, Illinois, United States of America. She became a children’s author and a poet. Her books include “Hiding” (1920) and “Nothing Is Impossible: The Story of Beatrix Potter” (1969). Dorothy Aldis passed on at 70 years of age on 4 July 1966 in Lake Forest, Illinois, United States of America.
