Make Fun Of Life!

How to Get Even with Your Neighbor

2/21/2020

How to get even with your neighbor: Park a chicken car in front of his house! Call Wild Bill’s Chicken Car Rentals at 555-5555. Be sure to ask about our senior discounts and holiday weekend specials.

Welcome to www.MakeFunOfLife.net. If you came here looking for fun, you are in the right place. Just travel down this page, skipping the topics that do not interest you, until you come to the ones that appeal to you. When you have a moment, be sure to explore some of the other pages on the website, such as the Silly and the Holidays pages, which can be viewed by clicking on the menu bar at the top of this page.

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

0 Comments

Theater and Thespians

2/18/2020

0 Comments

Pirate Pete: Why couldn’t the eleven-year-old pirate get in to see the movie?
Buccaneer Bob: Because it was rated, ‘Arrrrrr!’

“Actors are people who dress up and pretend to be other people . . . and that’s why they call what they do ‘playing’ a part.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I love acting, but it’s much more fun taking the kids to the zoo.” -Nicole Kidman

“The world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.” -Seán O’Casey (1880 - 1964)

‘Thespian’ is another word for ‘actor.’ Thespian is derived from a man named Thespis and the suffix ‘ian’ which comes from the Latin ‘-iānus,’ meaning ‘like’ in this usage. Thespis worked at his acting art sometime in the 6th century B.C.E., and is believed by some researchers to have been the first credited actor.

“I’m an actor. And I guess I’ve done so many movies I’ve achieved some high visibility. But a star? I guess I still think of myself as kind of a worker ant.” -Bill Vaughan (William Edward ‘Bill’ Vaughan (1915 - 1977))

“All the world’s a stage but most of us are stagehands.” -Author Unknown

“Everyone wants to be Cary Grant. Even I want to be Cary Grant.” -Cary Grant (pseudonym of Archibald Alexander Leach (1904 - 1986))

For most of human history, people attended live performances by actors, musicians, lecturers, and other show people, also known as entertainers. The performers sometimes appeared on stages in outdoor or indoor theaters, but they also put on their shows in any available space, such as a town square or an empty field. Only in recent times have people been able to view and listen to shows and performances with the use of devices that record and replay them.

Jay: Have you tried the new Hollywood citrus soda with half the calories of regular soda?
Ray: What’s it called?
Jay: Lime Lite.

In 1816, Thomas Drummond devised a lighting source for theaters, consisting of a cylinder of lime heated by an incandescent flame and placed behind a lens or in front of a reflector. The resulting lime lights were extremely bright but tended to light up only a small part of a stage or other area into which they were focused, making the star performer highly visible as long as he or she stood within it. Soon, actors were competing to be inside the small area of focus of the lime light, so that they could be easily seen by the audience members. Locations where many people can see someone became known as ‘being in the limelight.’ Later, with the development of electric lighting, the phrase ‘being in the spotlight’ also came into use.

“You can pick out actors by the glazed look that comes into their eyes when the conversation wanders away from themselves.” -Michael Wilding

In 1891, Thomas Edison and William Dickson invented the Kinetoscope, a box that allowed short films to be seen by a single viewer. Initially, Mr. Edison was opposed to showing motion pictures on big screens to audiences in theaters because he thought one-on-one viewing would be more profitable.

“One of my chief regrets during my years in the theater is that I couldn’t sit in the audience and watch me.” -John Barrymore (1882 - 1942)

The first movie production studio in the world was built in 1893 by Thomas Edison at the Edison Laboratories in New Jersey, United States of America. It was a small wood-frame building covered in black tarpaper roofing material, and was built on a large turntable, so that the entire building could be rotated to allow the windows to face the Sun and let in the greatest amount of natural sunlight available at any time of day, which was necessary to make early motion pictures, or movies. All of the movies made in this studio were ‘silent movies,’ as sound would come only later in movie-making history.

“The talking picture will not supplant the regular silent motion picture.” -Thomas Edison

The Western character most portrayed on screen is William Frederick Cody, also known as Buffalo Bill, followed by William Bonny, also known as Billy the Kid.

“I wouldn’t say when you’ve seen one Western you’ve seen the lot; but when you’ve seen the lot you get the feeling you’ve seen one.” -Katherine Whitehorn: “Sunday Best” (1976), ‘Decoding the West’

The first movie stuntwoman was Helen Gibson, who doubled for Helen Holmes in the first 26 episodes of “The Hazards of Helen” (1914). She was trained as a trick rider on horses, and was married to cowboy star Hoot Gibson.

Jenny: The other day I sat through a terrible movie.
Jenna: Why didn’t you walk out?
Jenny: I wanted to, but the flight attendant wouldn’t give me a parachute.

The first major movie star is arguably Mary Pickford (1893 - 1979), who along with Charlie Chaplin, Douglas Fairbanks, and D. W. Griffith, formed United Artists Corporation in 1919. At the peak of her popularity, Mary Pickford made a record-breaking $10,000 a week (more than $196,000 in 2008 U.S. Dollars).

“Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.” -Elizabeth Taylor: as quoted in “The Times” (18 February 1981) newspaper; also as quoted in Judy Allen: “Picking on Men” (1985)

“Remember, there are no small parts, only small actors.” -Konstantin Stanislavski

Hollywood’s first canine celebrity actor was Rin-Tin-Tin (also spelled as Rin Tin Tin and Rintintin (1918 - 1932)), a five-day-old German Shephard found wounded in battle in the vicinity of Lorraine, France during World War One. American soldier Corporal Leland Leroy ‘Lee’ Duncan (1892 - 1960) adopted him and nicknamed him Rinty, trained him, and obtained silent movie work for the dog starting in 1922. Rin-Tin-Tin would sign his own contracts with his paw print.

“I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write enough to sign contracts.” -Hermione Gingold

A newspaper sent a short telegram message to Cary Grant on his birthday, inquiring as to his age, and reading only, “How old Cary Grant?” The imperturbable* actor, in a similarly brief telegram, replied, “Old Cary Grant fine! How you?”
*imperturbable: calm and steady

Mallory’s Salary

There was a young rustic named Mallory,
who drew but a very small salary.
When he went to the show,
his purse made him go
to a seat in the uppermost gallery.

by Author Unknown

In 1923, Mark Sennett, Harry Chandler, and the “Los Angeles Times” newspaper spent $21,000 to put up the “Hollywoodland” sign to publicize a real estate development. The sign was later shortened to the iconic “Hollywood” sign with large white all-capital letters, seen on the hillside today.

“Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.” -Author Unknown

When the executives of Warner Brothers Studios were having money problems, they decided to take a risk on a first-of-its-kind talkie, or talking motion picture. It was called, “The Jazz Singer” (1927), and Al Jolson (pseudonym of Asa Yoelson) was given the first-ever lead role in the talkie. All movies up to that time had been silent motion pictures.

“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.” -Oscar Wilde

The last completely silent film produced for general distribution was George Melford’s “The Poor Millionaire” (1930), with lead actors Richard Talmadge (who played both the hero and the villain parts) and Constance Howard.

“Acting is the most minor of gifts. After all, Shirley Temple could do it when she was four.” -Katharine Hepburn (1907 - 2003), as quoted in Carolyn Warner, editor: “The Last Word: A Treasury of Women’s Quotes” (1992)

An Articulation Warmup for Actors

Give me the gift of a grip-top sock,
A clip drape shipshape tip top sock.
Not your spinslick slapstick slipshod stock,
But a plastic, elastic grip-top sock.
None of your fantastic slack swap slop
From a slap dash flash cash haberdash shop.
Not a knick knack knitlock knockneed knickerbocker sock
With a mock-shot blob-mottled trick-ticker top clock.
Not a supersheet seersucker rucksack sock,
Not a spot-speckled frog-freckled cheap sheik’s sock
Off a hodge-podge moss-blotched scotch-botched block.
Nothing slipshod drip drop flip flop or glip glop
Tip me to a tip top grip top sock.

by Author Unknown

“What can you do with a guy with ears like that?” -Jack Warner (1930), as a movie mogul rejecting Clark Gable

Lassie, the movie collie, first appeared in a 1930’s short novel titled, “Lassie Come Home” written by Eric Mowbray Knight. The dog in the novel was based on Knight’s real life collie, Toots. Lassie was played by several male dogs, despite the female name, because male collies were thought to look better on camera. The main canine actor who played the parts was named Pal. “So many of Lassie’s fans want to ask: Is he allowed on the furniture? Of course he is - but then, he’s the one who paid for it.” -Julia Glass

The largest number of takes for one scene was 324, all done of the comedy actor Charlie Chaplin in the making of the film, “City Lights” (1931).

“I always wanted to be a movie star. I thought it meant being famous and having breakfast in bed. I didn’t know you had to be up at 4:00 a.m.” -June Allyson

Radio City Music Hall in New York City, New York, United States of America was once the largest movie theater in the world. It opened in December 1932 with 5,945 seats.

A large, hand-lettered sign hanging on the wall of Stage 5 at Paramount Studios, from around 1940 read, “Please Do Not Feed The Actors.”

“There’s no business like show business.” -Irving Berlin (1888 - 1989): title of song (1946)

Actor Hugh Beaumont (Eugene Hugh Beaumont (16 February 1909 - 14 May 1982) was an actor, a television director, and an ordained Methodist minister. He is known for portraying Ward Clever, the father in the television series, “Leave It to Beaver” (1957 - 1963), and for his earlier acting role as private detective Michael Shayne.

“I’m not a film star, I am an actress. Being a film star is such a false life, lived for fake values and for publicity.” -Vivien Leigh (born Vivian Mary Hartley (1913 - 1967))

The author whose works have been adapted to film the most is William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), which includes authentic film versions of his writings, as well as modern retellings such as, “West Side Story” (1961) and “The Lion King” (1994), and in countless parody movies.

“I have always noticed that when a fellow wants to finish a play, the only way to do it is to go away to the country and leave no address.” -George Augustus Moore (1852 - 1933): “Vain Fortune,” Chapter 1, referring to writing a play

The largest Hollywood film set ever built was the 1,312 feet by 754 feet Roman Forum for the epic, “The Fall of the Roman Empire” (1964).

One of the great American film directors was John Huston (1906 - 1987), whose films included, “The Maltese Falcon” (1941), “Moby Dick” (1956), and “Annie” (1982). But perhaps the toughest assignment he ever had was the modestly titled film, “The Bible” (1966). He found the ‘Creation’ and ‘Ark’ parts especially challenging. When a friend asked him how things were going, he replied, “I don’t know how God managed. I’m having a terrible time.”

The largest make-up budget for a movie was $1 million for “Planet of the Apes” (1968), which amounted to nearly 17 percent of the total movie production costs.

The largest indoor set was the UFO landing site built for Steven Spielberg’s “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” (1977).

One of Germany’s most prominent filmmakers, Werner Herzog, was chatting with director Errol Morris one day when Mr. Morris mentioned how difficult it was to find funding for his films. Wanting to challenge his buddy, Mr. Herzog told Mr. Morris to keep trying, and then added that if he ever finished a movie, “I am going to eat my shoe.” Errol Morris finally released the first of his many documentaries, titled “Gates of Heaven” (1978). Mr. Herzog kept his promise, and in 1980, with Les Blank filming the proceedings, Werner Herzog cooked his shoe in garlic and duck fat and then started eating his shoe.

The first movie stuntman was Frank Hanaway, a former member of the United States Cavalry. He was cast in “The Great Train Robbery” (1903), based on his ability to fall off a horse without hurting himself.

“No, no, no!” the director screamed. “Cut!” He stormed onto the set and confronted the leading man. “That’s no way to fall down a staircase!” he fumed. “What’s the matter? Are you afraid of messing up your hair or getting a scratch on that pretty face of yours?” The actor knew enough about this man’s temper to keep his own mouth closed. Let the director rant for a minute or two, then they could all get back to shooting the scene. “We can’t shoot this scene if you’re going to be a coward about it!” the director said. “Look, I’ll show you how easy it is.” He climbed to the top of the stairs and assumed the position the actor was supposed to take. Then his body tipped toward the steps, and he tumbled to the bottom. He looked at the actor from the floor and said, “Now do you think you can do it right?” “I guess so,” the actor said. “Good,” the director said. “Everybody back into position for the shot. Oh, and by the way, somebody call an ambulance. My leg is broken.”

Actor Bill Murray (William James ‘Bill’ Murray (born 1950)) has neither a publicist nor an agent, and yet he has had starring roles in such wildly successful and well-known movies as, “Ghost Busters” (8 June 1984) and “What About Bob” (17 May 1991). Does he rely on actual ‘friends in the business’ to get acting gigs?

The largest cast of living creatures in a film were the 22 million bees employed by Irwin Allen in “The Swarm” (1978).

Standards of decency and appropriateness in entertainment vary around the world. The “Muppet Movie” (1979) was disallowed by New Zealand censors on the grounds that it contained gratuitous violence. Sweden banned “E.T.” (1982) for children under 11 years of age because of their finding that it showed parents being hostile to their children.

“Actors: Puppets who pull their own strings.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

The first feature film created solely with Computer Generated Imagery (CGI) was “Toy Story” (1995). More than 800,000 hours of mathematical equations went into the film, which works out to more than a week of computer time for every second on the screen.

“Nicko! Don’t play with the food! When I was your age, we didn’t have food!” - Lainie Kazan: speaking part in the movie, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” (19 April 2002)

The Academy Award statue is named after a librarian’s uncle. One day Margaret Herrick, librarian for the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, made a remark that the statue looked like her Uncle Oscar, and the name stuck.

Cheryl: What was the scariest part of the horror movie?
Ethyl: When I ran out of popcorn.

The creepy character most frequently portrayed in horror films is Count Dracula, a creation of Irish writer Bram Stoker (1847 - 1912).

Lars: There I was, Sasquatch on my left, Frankenstein’s monster was on my right, and the Swamp Thing was fast approaching me. I screamed as loud as I could.
Cindy: Then what happened?
Lars: The usher told me that if it happened again, I would have to exit the movie theater.

Boris: How do you make a strawberry shake?
Doris: Take it to see a horror movie!

A Tragedy in Three Acts
Act I: Tyrannosaurus Rex and two small dinosaurs.
Act II: Tyrannosaurus Rex and one small dinosaur.
Act III: Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Marv: How do you fix a broken movie?
Merv: With video tape.

“People ask, ‘What’s the best role you’ve ever played?’ The next one.” -Kevin Kline (Kevin Delaney Kline (born 1972))

This is MFOL! . . . and we’re not acting . . . but then, many actors aren’t either . . . they entertain people by getting in front of an audience or a camera and just being themselves . . .

0 Comments

Knock-Knock Jokes

2/16/2020

0 Comments

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin, who?
Justin the neighborhood and thought I would say hello!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange, who?
Orange you glad I came by?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Honeybee.
Honeybee, who?
Honeybee a deer and open the door, please.

Knock, knock.
Who’s -
Interrupting cow - moo-oo-oo!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
A bee.
A bee, who?
A bee, c, d, e, f, g . . .

Knock, knock!
It’s open - come on in!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wendy.
Wendy, who?
Wendy red, red robin come bob, bob, bobbin’ along . . .

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alice.
Alice, who?
Alice forgiven, please come home.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Zeke.
Zeke, who?
Zeke and ye shall find . . .

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Isabelle.
Isabelle, who?
Isabelle necessary on the door?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nobel.
Nobel, who?
No bell, that’s why I knocked.

The ‘doorbell’ was at one time a real bell, either mounted on the outside of a building next to a door or inside a building with one end of a cord tied to it and the other end of the cord fed through a hole near the door; a visitor would shake the bell or pull the cord to announce him or herself. While the first electric doorbell was invented by Joseph Henry in 1831, knocking on the door or doorframe with one’s knuckles still remains the most common method of announcing oneself. And, of course, when a door is open or there is no door, the holler often seems to work well enough.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Danielle.
Danielle, who?
Danielle so loud, I can hear you!

Sign: Doorbell Broken. Please Knock Or Shout ‘Ding-Dong’ Really Loud.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The electrician who has come to fix your broken doorbell.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben, who?
Ben knocking so long that my hand hurts!

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock . . .
Now hang on a minute! Who’s there?
Charlie the Centipede.

Text your friend: “I’ve got a great knock-knock joke. Want to hear it?” When he or she texts back, “Yes,” reply, “Okay, you start.”

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice, who?
Candice be the last knock, knock joke?
Well, we all know the answer to that - not likely!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Egg.
Egg, who?
Egg-cited to see me?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Eileen.
Eileen, who?
Eileen this way, Eileen that way.

National Knock-Knock Day is on 31 October of each year - wait, isn’t that Halloween Day? Why would anyone want to knock on a door on Halloween?

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Doughnut.
Doughnut, who?
Doughnut open the door - there are monsters everywhere!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gladys.
Gladys, who?
Gladys you and not another monster!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
A little child who can’t reach the doorbell!

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Octopus!

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Value.
Value, who?
Value be my Valentine?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tyrone!
Tyrone, who?
Tyrone shoelaces!

TSPKKJ: The Society for the Proliferation of Knock-Knock Jokes.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Gorilla
Gorilla, who?
Gorilla me a hamburger, please, I’m hungry!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Just a minute, and I’ll see.

Doorknockers are typically made of iron, steel, or brass, and are raised and struck against a metal piece on a door to make a noise that lets someone inside know that a visitor is waiting outside.

Molly: What did the inventor of the door-knocker win?
Dolly: The ‘no bell’ prize!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there!
Luke!
Luke, who?
Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Water.
Water, who?
Water we waiting for? Let’s get on to the next knock-knock joke!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dakota.
Dakota, who?
Dakota fits fine, but the trousers are too long.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Woo.
Woo, who?
You sure do get excited about knock-knock jokes!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gouda.
Gouda, who?
Gouda see you again!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie, who?
Annie body home?

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Jess.
Jess, who?
Jess me and my shadow.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who, who?
Is there an owl in here?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Love.
Love, who?
Love you!

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Waiter.
Waiter, who?
Waiter minute while I tie my shoelaces.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ike.
Ike, who?
Ike can’t stop laughing!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tank!
Tank, who?
You’re welcome!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash, who?
No, thanks; I prefer peanuts.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Adore.
Adore, who?
Adore is all that stands between us, my sweet!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Patty O.
Patty O, who?
Patty O’Furniture!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
House
House, who?
House it going?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben, who?
Ben ringing your doorbell for a while now.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Shirley!
Shirley, who?
Shirley you must know me by now!

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Doris.
Doris, who?
Doris locked, so I had to knock!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pasture.
Pasture, who?
Pasture bedtime, isn’t it?

This is MFOL! . . . our knuckles really hurt from all the knocking on doors, so we’re going onto a different topic coming up next . . .

0 Comments

Adversities and Persevering

2/13/2020

0 Comments

When you think your life is bad, just remember this furry fellow, who lives in a trash can. Of course, your expectations in life may be a little different than his . . .

“If you are ever in real trouble, don’t panic. Sit down and think about it. Remember two things, always. There must be some way out of it, and there must be humor in it somewhere.” -Louise Fitzhugh (1928 - 1974)

“Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever . . .” -Isak Dinesen (pseudonym of Karen von Blixen-Finecke (1885 - 1962))

“Our way is not soft grass, it’s a mountain path with lots of rocks. But it goes upwards, forward, toward the Sun.” -Ruth Westheimer (born 1928)

“Life can be wildly tragic at times, and I’ve had my share. But whatever happens to you, you have to keep a slightly comic attitude. In the final analysis, you have got not to forget to laugh.” -Katharine Hepburn (Katharine Houghton Hepburn (1907 - 2003))

“Some falls are means the happier to arise.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Cymbeline, King of Britain” (1609), Act IV, scene 2, line 2822; words of character Caius Lucius, general of the Roman forces

“I truly believe that we can overcome any hurdle that lies before us and create the life we want to live. I have seen it happen time and time again.” -Gillian Anderson (Gillian Leigh Anderson (born 1968))

“The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.” -Author Unknown

“It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness.” [translation to English]
“Confragosa in fastigium dignitatis via est.” [original Latin]
-Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65)): letter to Lucilius

“Life is tough, but I’m tougher.” -Author Unknown

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” -Frank Leahy (1908 - 1973): as quoted in the “Daily Mail” (4 May 1954) of Charleston, West Virginia

“No man lives without jostling and being jostled; in all ways he has to elbow himself through the world, giving and receiving offence.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881): ‘Sir Walter Scott,’ published in the “London and Westminster Review” (12 November 1838)

“If things go wrong, don’t go with them.” -Roger Babson (Roger Ward Babson (1875 - 1967))

“Trouble can always be borne when it is shared.” -Katherine Paterson (born 1932): “The Tale of the Mandarin Ducks” (1 January 1990)

“Determination, patience, and courage are the only things needed to improve any situation.” -Author Unknown

“Remember, if you ever get into a difficult situation, you can always count on your fingers and toes!” -Author Unknown

“No life is so hard that you can’t make it easier by the way you take it.” -Ellen Glasgow (1873 - 1945)

“By perseverance the snail reached the ark.” -Charles Spurgeon (Charles Haddon Spurgeon (1834 - 1892)): “The Salt-cellars: Being a Collection of Proverbs, Together with Homely Notes Thereon” (1889), ‘Proverbs,’ page 89

“Greatness is best measured by how well an individual responds to the happenings in life that appear to be totally unfair, unreasonable, and undeserved.” -Marvin J. Ashton (Marvin Jeremy Ashton (1915 - 1994)): as quoted in “Ensign” (November 1984), page 22

“I am an old man and have known many troubles. But most of them never happened.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“Turn your stumbling blocks into stepping stones.” -Author Unknown: English proverb

“Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties.” -Charles Spurgeon (Charles Haddon Spurgeon (1834 - 1892))

“Trying times are no time to quit trying.” -Author Unknown

“Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887)

“People need trouble - a little frustration to sharpen the spirit on, toughen it. Artists do; I don’t mean you need to live in a rat hole or gutter, but you have to learn fortitude, endurance. Only vegetables are happy.” -William Faulkner (William Cuthbert ‘Will’ Faulkner (1897 - 1962))

“Adversity in immunological doses has its uses; more than that crushes.” -John Updike (John Hoyer Updike (1932 - 2009))

“If you don’t climb the mountain, you can’t see the view.” -Author Unknown

“There are no hopeless situations; there are only men who have grown helpless about them.” -Clare Boothe Luce (1903 - 1987)

“The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can man be perfected without trials.” -Confucius (K’ung Fu-tzu or K’ung Ch’iu (about 551 B.C.E. - about 479 B.C.E.))

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” -Bernice Johnson Reagon (born 1942)

“Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I’ll show you someone who has overcome adversity.” -Lou Holtz (Louis Leo ‘Lou’ Holtz (born 1937))

Square your shoulders to the world,
Be not the kind to quit -
It’s not the load that weighs you down,
But the way you carry it.
-Author Unknown

“Every adversity can make you bitter or better.” -Mary Kay Mueller (born 1953)

“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.” -Peter Marshall (1902 - 1949)

“History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.” -B. C. Forbes (Robert Charles ‘Bertie’ Forbes (1880 - 1954)): as quoted in “Forbes” (1958)

“Great works are performed not by strength, but by perseverance.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Proverbs,’ chapter 24, verse 16

“Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than it was before.” -James Buckham (1858 - 1908): as quoted in Mary Allette Ayer, editor: “Keep up Your Courage: Key-Notes to Success” (1908)

“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940))

“If you get up one more time than you fall, you will make it through.” -Author Unknown

“Adversity causes some to break, others to break records.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“The brook would lose its song if you removed the rocks.” -Author Unknown

“While troubles will come, they are always temporary - nothing lasts forever. Thus, there is the famous legend that King Solomon, the wisest man of all times, had a ring inscribed with the words, ‘This too shall pass.’” -Aryeh Kaplan (Aryeh Moshe Eliyahu Kaplan (1934 - 1983))

“Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.” -Shari R. Barr

“People don’t ever seem to realize that doing what’s right’s no guarantee against misfortune.” -William McFee (1881 - 1966)

“Persistence in the face of adversity builds your self-confidence and your ability to persist even more.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.” -Author Unknown

“Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant.” -Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)): “Satires”

“The mind which does not wholly sink under misfortune rises above it, more lofty than before, and is strengthened by affliction.” -Richard Chenevix Trench (known simply as Richard Trench until 1873 (1807 - 1886)): “An Essay Upon National Character” (1832), book I, part II, chapter III

“The rewards for those who persevere far exceed the pain that precedes the victory.” -Karen Bliss Livingston

“Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.” -William Ellery Channing (1780 - 1842): “Self-Culture: An address introductory to the Franklin lectures, delivered at Boston, September, 1838” (1839), page 42

“There is no education like adversity.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“I have never known anyone to achieve anything without overcoming adversity.” -Lou Holtz (Louis Leo ‘Lou’ Holtz (born 1937))

“Life has its peaks and its valleys.” -Author Unknown

“Adversity is another way to measure the greatness of individuals. I never had a crisis that didn’t make me stronger.” -Lou Holtz (Louis Leo ‘Lou’ Holtz (born 1937))

“Nothing lasts forever - not even your troubles.” -Arnold H. Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“Never let life’s hardships disturb you . . . no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages.” -Nichiren Daishonen (1222 - 1282)

“Defeat is nothing but the first step to something better.” -Author Unknown

“One of the most difficult things everyone has to learn is that for your entire life you must keep fighting and adjusting if you hope to survive. No matter who you are or what your position is you must keep fighting for whatever it is you desire to achieve.” -George H. Allen (George Herbert Allen, Senior (1918 - 1990))

“Those who turn back know only the ordeal, but those who persevere remember the adventure.” -Milo Arnold

“The greater the obstacle, the more the glory in overcoming it.” -Molière (pseudonym of Jean-Baptiste Poquelin (1622 - 1673))

“What on Earth would a man do with himself if something did not stand in his way?” -H. G. Wells (Herbert George Wells (1866 - 1946))

“Life begins to become truly livable once we have learned how to get back up after we stumble and fall. The mastery of that knowledge may come about only following many falls but it finally comes to us and softens the pain and humiliation on each occasion that we stumble after that, and so we are able to face life with some courage because of what we have learned after falling. Everything eventually becomes easier with time and experience.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“There is no chance, no destiny, no fate that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.” -Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850 - 1919)

“Most of the important things in this world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“Strong men are made by opposition; like kites they go up against the wind.” -Frank Harris (born James Thomas Harris (1855 - 1931)): “Oscar Wilde” (1916), chapter 6, page 59

“Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” -Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774): “The Vicar of Wakefield” (1766)

“He that falls to-day, may be up again to-morrow.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2097

“If there is no struggle there is no progress.” -Frederick Douglass (pseudonym of Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey (1817 - 1895)): personal letter (30 March 1849) to Gerrit Smith

“I admire people who choose to shine even after all the storms they’ve been through.” -Author Unknown

“When you get into a tight place, and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a moment longer, never give up then - for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” -Harriet Beecher Stowe (Harriet Elizabeth Beecher Stowe (1811 - 1896)): “Old Town Folks” (1869), chapter 39: ‘Last Days in Cloudland’

“Endure, and preserve yourself for better things.” -Vergil (Publius Vergilius Maro, also known as Virgil (70 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.))

“Life, misfortunes, isolation, abandonment, poverty, are battlefields which have their heroes; obscure heroes, sometimes greater than the illustrious heroes.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap, whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be content to take their own and depart.” -Solon (636 B.C.E. - 558 B.C.E.) (similar quotation attributed to Socrates)

“Fight the good fight with all thy might.” -John S. B. Monsell (John Samuel Bewley Monsell (1811 - 1875)): “Fight the Good Fight” (1863) hymn

“However hard the road, however difficult today, tomorrow things will be better.” -Benjamin E. Mays (Benjamin Elijah Mays (1894 - 1984)): as quoted in Dorothy Winbush Riley: “My Soul Looks Back, ’Less I Forget” (1995)

“The work of many of the greatest men, inspired by duty, has been done amidst suffering and trial and difficulty. They have struggled against the tide, and reached the shore exhausted.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“With every victory over adversity, you grow in wisdom, stature, and experience. You become a better, bigger person each time you meet a problem.” -W. Clement Stone (William Clement Stone (1902 - 2002))

“I would never have amounted to anything were it not for adversity. I was forced to come up the hard way.” -James Cash Penney (1875 - 1971)

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” -Dolly Parton (born 1946): as quoted in Bob Phillips: “Phillips’ Book of Great Thoughts” (1993), page 264

Just remember, it’s all going to make for a great story someday . . . now who’s ready to go out into the big wide world and Make Fun Of Life!?

0 Comments

Teeth and Dentists

2/11/2020

0 Comments

It is always a delight to see someone doing such a fine job of taking care of his teeth . . .

Vera: What do you call a big white animal that is shaped like a tooth?
Veronica: A molar bear.

Humans have a variety of teeth, including incisors, canines, molars, and premolars, each designed for specific purposes. Incisors bite pieces from food. Canines hold food and tear it apart. Molars and premolars grind food.

Gilbert: What is a dentist’s favorite horror movie?
Herbert: “The Creature from the Plaque Lagoon.”

Your teeth are important - they help you to chew,
They help you to smile and say, “How do you do?”
Be sure to take care of them morning and night,
By brushing and flossing, you’ll keep your teeth bright.
-Author Unknown

Teeth and Dentists Facts
- Teeth help break down food by ‘chewing,’ or tearing, cutting, crushing, breaking apart, and grinding.
- Teeth are ‘rooted’ in bone tissue.
- Teeth are surrounded by gums and other ‘soft tissue.’
- Teeth are covered in a hard substance called ‘enamel.’
- Tooth enamel is the hardest substance in the human body.
- Cavities, also known as ‘dental caries,’ are recesses and holes in teeth that can lead to tooth loss if left untreated.
- People who clean, repair, and in other ways care for teeth are called ‘dentists.’
- Braces can help straighten or align crooked teeth.
- People who install and adjust braces are called ‘orthodontists.’

Madge: What did the dentist give the school marching band?
Marge: A tuba toothpaste.

Humans form two sets of teeth over the course of their lives. The first set, called predecessors or baby teeth, consists of 20 teeth. These teeth fall out and are replaced by adult teeth sometime between 6 and 12 years of age. The second set of teeth, known as succedaneous or permanent or adult teeth, consists of 32 teeth.

Darren: What does a dentist call his X-rays?
Darrel: Tooth-pics!

The earliest toothbrush was developed sometime around 3,000 B.C.E. It was called a ‘chew stick’ and was crafted from a small twig with a frayed end that was rubbed against the teeth. The first toothbrush with bristles is believed to have been developed in China in 1498. The bristles were taken from hogs at first, and later from horses. DuPont de Nemours introduced the first toothbrush with nylon bristles, called ‘Doctor West’s Miracle Toothbrush,’ in 1938. Squibb Pharmaceuticals marketed the first electric toothbrush, known as the Broxodent, in 1960.

Sign on dentist’s houseboat: ‘Offshore Drilling.’

Electric toothbrushes generate 3,000 to 7,500 strokes per minute, compared to about 300 strokes per minute with manual brushing.

Rex: What did the dentist of the year get?
Max: A little plaque.

“Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it’s awfully hard to get it back in.” -H. R. Haldeman (Harry Robbins ‘Bob’ Haldeman (1926 - 1993))

Dental Assistant: Do you have a dental plan?
Patient: Yes, I chew on the other side.

Surprisingly, good dental self-care is not complicated . . .

The Colgate-Palmolive Company claims ‘Tooth Fairy’ as a registered trademark. No word yet on how the Tooth Fairy feels about this infringement . . .

Rich: What are the six most frightening words in the English language?
Mitch: “The dentist will see you now.”

King James IV (1473 - 1513) of Scotland was an amateur dentist. He even paid people to let him practice on their teeth. Who could say no to his royal majesty?

Bertha: What do you call a dentist who offers to clean a werewolf’s teeth?
Bert: Crazy!

“Be kind to your dentist; after all, he or she has fillings, too.” -Author Unknown

There was never yet a philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently.
-William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Much Ado About Nothing” (1598 - 1599), Act 5, scene 1

Rusty: Painless dentist, indeed! Why, he is no different from any other dentist I have been to.
Randy: Why, did he hurt you?
Rusty: No, but he screamed when I bit his finger.

In 1867, Lucy Hobbs Taylor became the first woman in the United States of America to become a certified dentist. She graduated from the Ohio College of Dental Surgery.

Henrietta: What two letters spell big trouble for your teeth?
Helena: D-k.

Would you like to apply for a grant (free financial contribution) toward implants, bridges, or other re-transformation of your smile? Visit http://www.cosmeticdentistrygrants.org/CosmeticDentistryGrants/. Be sure to mention that you found about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Minnie: What happened when the dentist married the manicurist?
Reggie: They fought tooth and nail.

Nutty idea: The oil in cashews is said to help prevent tooth decay.

Brush Your Teeth

Brush, brush, brush your teeth.
     At least two times a day.
Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning,
     Fighting tooth decay.
Floss, floss, floss your teeth.
     Every single day.
Gently, gently, gently, gently,
     Whisking plaque away.
Rinse, rinse, rinse your teeth
     Every single day.
Swishing, swishing, swishing, swishing,
     Fighting tooth decay.

by Author Unknown: sung to the tune, “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”

In olden times, long, long ago, the Tooth Fairy had a terrible time keeping up with lost teeth. The ones that were nearby she could hear when they fell out. Her ears got very sharp, and she could tell the difference between a tooth falling from a mouth and, say, an acorn falling from a tree. But beyond her hearing distance, she needed elves to help her, just as Santa Claus needs elves. When a tooth fell many miles away, the nearest elf would hop on his unicorn and ride to the next elf to spread the news. And he’d ride his unicorn, and so on, until the news reached the Tooth Fairy, who would give the elf a coin, and he’d ride back to make sure it made its way under the appropriate pillow. A lot of work, don’t you think? The Tooth Fairy is very faithful, so she made the system work. But today we live in the digital age, and the Tooth Fairy takes every advantage of this. All of the Tooth Fairy’s helper elves now have cell phones and webcams that eliminate the need for unicorns. A good thing, because unicorns are very hard to find these days. But best of all is the tooth scanner, an electronic gadget that can scan a house and locate each of the people in it, then scan their teeth to identify a loose tooth before it even falls out. So, the Tooth Fairy’s elves scan their houses and watch for the loose teeth to fall, then they call TF herself, who comes in person with her reward. Even though the Tooth Fairy now uses new technology to keep up her good work, she’s still as special as she always was. So, remember that when your next tooth starts to wiggle a little bit, you’re already on the Tooth Fairy’s radar and you’re sure to get your prize.

About 45 percent of people use mouthwash daily. Some mouthwashes can reduce the abundance of bacteria and fungi in the mouth, which can cause bad breath, leave an unpleasant taste, and produce acids that cause cavities.

Patient: How much do you charge for pulling a tooth?
Dentist: One-hundred and eighty-five dollars.
Patient: That much for only a few minutes work?
Dentist: Well, I could do it very slowly.

Things You Need to Know Before Visiting a Dentist
-Your teeth do not grow back. Find a dentist who is not aggressive in treating your teeth, and who will do the least amount of dental work necessary.
-Your oral health is linked to your overall health. Bad teeth and gums are linked to many chronic diseases, including diabetes, heart disease, and stroke.
-Dental materials are different. Some dental materials are better than others are. Better materials may cost more; however, they can last longer and save you time and money in the long-run.
-Your teeth are the best. No artificial material is better than your own teeth. Take excellent care of your teeth.
-Do not wait until your teeth hurt to schedule a dentist appointment.

Dentures: Two rows of artificial ivories that may be removed periodically to frighten one’s grandchildren or provide accompaniment to Spanish music.

“Be true to your teeth and they won’t be false to you.” -Author Unknown

Tooth Care Guidelines
- Brush your teeth either at least twice a day or within 20 minutes after each meal to ensure optimal dental health.
- Replace your toothbrush with a new one once every three months, because the bristles wear down with use and tiny microorganisms can grow in them over time.
- Thoroughly rinse your toothbrush after brushing and place it where it can dry completely.
- Flossing on a daily basis ensures healthy gums and teeth.
- Visit your dentist once every six months and any other time you feel a need to.
- Children as well as adults can have their teeth straightened and aligned by orthodontists.

Patient: The tooth you just pulled was not the bad one.
Dentist: Be patient, I am now getting closer to the right one.

A man walked into a dentist’s work area during a surgery and said, “Excuse me, can you help me? I keep thinking that I am a moth.” “You don’t need a dentist; you need a psychiatrist.” “Yes, I know.” “So why did you come in here?” “The light was on . . .”

Power Drill

There was a young dentist who thrilled
To the sound of a tooth being filled;
     He would practice, they said
     Every night in his shed . . .
With an old power drill he’s skilled.

by Author Unknown

Scientists may someday develop methods that will allow adults to grow replacements for their damaged or missing teeth. That, along with the invention of a bed that makes itself and a refrigerator that goes to the store all by itself and does the grocery shopping, will finally allow humankind to focus on the really important tasks ahead of us, like building a rollercoaster on the Moon.

Strange

Did it ever seem strange to you, Ruth,
That fairies would pay for a tooth?
     They could carve them, I guess,
     Or collect, more or less,
Or somebody’s stretching the truth.

by Author Unknown

Dentist: So are you doing anything fun for the holiday?
Patient: Fasdfsfwer aweorijsladf asdfewo waoefief . . .
Dentist: Oh, sounds fun!

Dentists . . . making the world a better place, one smile at a time . . .

Brushing

Here’s my toothpaste, here’s my brush
     I won’t hurry, I won’t rush.
Working hard to keep teeth clean
     Front and back and in between
When I brush for quite a while
     I will have a happy smile.

by Author Unknown (can be sung to the same tune as that of, “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”)

There is not enough smiling going on in the world today. You can help to correct this situation by becoming a dentist, oral hygienist, dental assistant, orthodontist, periodontist, X-ray technician, dental office receptionist, or other professional who works with dental and oral hygiene. We would be amiss if we failed to mention the other smile care specialists, including the dental lab technicians who make dentures, partials, crowns, and implants.

Ruth: What did the tooth say to the dentist?
Russ: “Fill ‘er up!”

I’ve been Brushing

I’ve been brushing with my toothbrush,
     Brushing every day.
I’ve been brushing with my toothbrush,
     It’s how I fight decay.
All my teeth are gonna sparkle,
     How proud I will be.
Every time I want to smile, my
     Teeth will shine for me!
Always brush your teeth,
     Every single day.
Keep those cavities away!
     Use your brush and paste,
Just the way you should,
     Keep your smile looking good!

by Author Unknown: sung to the tune ”I’ve Been Working on the Railroad”

Do dentists go to other dentists, or do they just do it themselves?

Teeth and Dentists Quiz
- What is the hardest substance in the human body?
- What are people who install and adjust braces called?
- How often should a person brush his or her teeth?
- How often should a person schedule a visit to a dentist’s office?

Hansel: What is a dentist’s favorite day of the week?
Gretel: Toothsday!

Teeth and Dentists Quiz Answers
- The hardest substance in the human body is tooth enamel.
- People who install and adjust braces are called orthodontists.
- A person should brush his or her teeth a minimum of twice each day.
- A person should schedule a visit to a dentist’s office every six months or more often when necessary.

Do you need encouragement to brush your teeth? Visit https://www.2min2x.org/.

“You don’t have to brush all your teeth, just the ones you want to keep!” -Author Unknown

Somewhere, there is a dentist who can’t wait to meet you.

This is MFOL! . . . all this mention of teeth and dentists makes us want to go brush our teeth, so we will leave you to the next article . . .

0 Comments

Fated Destiny and Free Will

2/8/2020

0 Comments

“If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.” -Dolly Parton (born 1946)

“We each choose between two lives, the one given to us, and the one we can make.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“We are what we think. We are what we say. We are what we believe. We are what we do. So isn’t it wonderful that we are completely in charge of all that we are?” -Regina Cates

“There is no chance, no destiny, no fate that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.” -Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850 - 1919)

“Life is a compromise between fate and free will.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)): “A Thousand & One Epigrams: Selected from the Writings of Elbert Hubbard” (1911), page 36

“Your life is in your hands, to make of it what you choose.” -John Kehoe

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved.” -William Jennings Bryan (1860 - 1925): speech (22 February 1899) in Washington, District of Columbia, United States of America

“Create your own destiny, because if you don’t, others will.” -Author Unknown

“You can begin to shape your own destiny by the attitude that you keep.” -Michael Beckwith

“No fate, but what we make.” -Author Unknown

“Every man makes his own fate.” [Non-literal modern parlance]
“Every man is the architect of his own fortune.” [English translation]
“Faber est suae quisque fortunae.” [original Latin]
-Claudius (Appius Claudius Caecus (340 B.C.E. - 273 B.C.E.))

Cassius: Men at some time are masters of their fate:
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.
-William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Julius Caesar” (1599), Act 1, scene 2, line 138

“A wise man shall overrule his stars, and have a greater influence upon his own content than all the constellations and planets of the firmament.” -Jeremy Taylor (1613 - 1667): as quoted in Reginald Heber: “The Whole Works of the Right Rev. Jeremy Taylor” (1822), book IV, chapter II, section vi

“Your word is your magic wand. The words you speak create your own destiny.” -Florence Scovel Shinn (1871 - 1940)

“Destiny is all about the choices we make and the chances we take.” -Author Unknown

“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

“Man was predestined to have free will.” -Hal Lee Luyah

“Don’t let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do, or cannot achieve. Just don’t allow it. It’s wrong. It’s so wrong. Be what you want to be - and prove them wrong.” -Emma Watson (Emma Charlotte Duerre Watson (born 1990))

“We are not creatures of circumstance, we are creators of circumstance.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“Up to a point a man’s life is shaped by environment, heredity, and movements and changes in the world about him. Then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be. Only the weak blame parents, their race, lack of good fortune, or the quirks of fate. Everyone has it within his power to say, ‘This I am today, that I will be tomorrow.’” -Louis L’Amour (Louis Dearborn LaMoore (1908 - 1988))

“We make our own fortunes and we call them fate.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881): “Miriam Alroy” (1870)

“A desire to be in charge of our own lives, a need for control, is born in each of us. It is essential to our mental health, and our success, that we take control.” -Robert F. Bennett (born 1933)

“No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently.” -Agnes de Mille (1905 - 1993)

“Just because fate doesn’t deal you the right cards, it doesn’t mean you should give up. It just means you have to play the cards you get to their maximum potential.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945))

“If fate means you to lose, give him a good fight anyhow.” -William McFee (1881 - 1966)

“The sin, both of men and of angels, was rendered possible by the fact that God gave them free will.” -C. S. Lewis (Clive Staples Lewis (1898 - 1963)): “Miracles” (1947)

“I am master of my own destiny, and I can make my life anything that I wish it to be.” -John Dennis McDonald (1906 - 1998)

“A man’s fate is his own temper; and according to that will be his opinion as to the particular manner in which the course of events is regulated. A consistent man believes in destiny - a capricious man in chance.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881): “Vivian Grey” (1826), ‘A Visit to a Celebrated Diplomatist’

“You are the designer of your destiny. You are the author, you write the story, the pen is in your hand, and the outcome is whatever you choose.” -Abraham Hicks (via Esther Hicks (born 1948))

I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.
-William Ernest Henley (1849 - 1903): “Invictus” (1875); type of work: poem

“I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936))

“A belief in an unchangeable, fixed destiny is fatalism, which happens in the absence of hope and optimism.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Life will always be to a large extent what we ourselves make it.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904) (similar quotation attributed to William James and Henry James)

▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪

The Winds of Fate

One ship drives east and another drives west
With the selfsame winds that blow.
     ‘Tis the set of the sails
     And not the gales
Which tells us the way to go.

Like the winds of the sea are the ways of fate;
As we voyage along through life,
     ‘Tis the set of a soul
     That decides its goal,
And not the calm or the strife.

by Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850 - 1919) (1916)

▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e  ☆ l a u g h ツ  www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥  l o v e ☼  g r o w
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪

Here’s a sigh to those who love me,
And a smile to those who hate;
And, whatever sky’s above me,
Here’s a heart for every fate.
-Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824)): “To Thomas Moore” (1817), stanza 2

“Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt (Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882 - 1945))

“Do not take the agenda that someone else has mapped out for your life.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“Freed by free-will, you are no longer fated to a destiny chosen for you by others and their beliefs, and your free-will takes you to places of your own choosing.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Man is not the creature of circumstances, circumstances are the creatures of man. We are free agents, and man is more powerful than matter.” -Benjamin Disraeli: “Vivian Grey” (1827), volume II, book VI, chapter 7

And now for your Fated Destiny and Free Will anagram: The letters in the word ‘predestination’ can be rearranged to spell the phrase ‘I pertain to ends.’

“Events will take their course, it is no good of being angry at them; he is happiest who wisely turns them to the best account.” -Euripides (about 484 B.C.E. - about 406 B.C.E.)

“He picked up the lemons that Fate had sent him and started a lemonade-stand.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)): “Selected Writings of Elbert Hubbard” (1922), page 237

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“A lobster, when left high and dry among the rock, has not instinct or energy enough to work his way back to the sea, but waits for the sea to come to him. If it does not come, he remains where he is and dies, although the slightest effort would enable him to reach the waves, which are perhaps within a yard of him. The world is full of human lobsters; men stranded on the rocks of indecision and procrastination, who, instead of putting forth their own energies, are waiting for some grand billow of good fortune to set them afloat.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1848 - 1924))

“Some people succeed because they are destined but most because they are determined.” -Author Unknown

“Do not allow circumstances or other people to determine your fate. Look beyond circumstances and people to the greater and ever-expanding horizon of all possibilities.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Our history is not our destiny.” -Alan Cohen: as quoted in Eric Allenbaugh: “Wake-Up Calls: You Don’t Have to Sleepwalk Through Your Life, Love, or Career!”

“Control your own destiny or someone else will.” -Jack Welch (John Francis ‘Jack’ Welch, Junior (born 1935))

“Life consists not simply in what heredity and environment do to us, but in what we make out of what they do to us.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969)

“It is almost more important how a person takes his fate than what it is.” -Wilhelm von Humboldt (Friedrich Wilhelm Christian Karl Ferdinand Freiherr von Humboldt (1767 - 1835))

“We must believe in free will - we have no choice.” -Isaac Bashevis Singer (born Izaak Zynger (1902 - 1991)): as quoted in Stefan Kanfer: ‘Isaac Singer’s Promised City’ published in “City Journal” (Summer 1997) magazine

“Personality, too, is destiny.” -Erik Erikson (1902 - 1994)

“Our destiny changes with our thought; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thought corresponds with our desire.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1848 - 1924))

“If you don’t run your own life, somebody else will.” -John Atkinson

“My will shall shape my future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man’s doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny.” -Elaine Maxwell

“Be a creator of circumstances rather than just a creature of circumstances. Be proactive rather than reactive.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Whatever the place allocated us by providence, that is for us the post of honor and duty. God estimates us not by the position we are in, but by the way in which we fill it.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891) page 545

“If you don’t take charge of shaping your destiny, others will do it for you.” -Eric Allenbaugh

“Your life will be no better than the plans you make and the action you take. You are the architect and builder of your own life, fortune, destiny.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” -Jimmy Dean

This is MFOL! . . . every person should be free to decide his or her own destiny . . . because no human is the property of another . . .

0 Comments

Questions and Queries

2/4/2020

1 Comment

How can I get people to like me?

If you were to be trapped in a television show forever, which show would you choose?

Aren’t you just the cutest thing?

If you were a robot but did not know it, would you want people to tell you?

Where did you get that big, beautiful smile?

How can you know what you think until you speak so that you can hear what you have to say?

“It’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

If you were on the second floor of a three-story building, would you not be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?

Would you tell me a true thing?

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

If we can make semi-conductors, why can we not make complete conductors?

What is the speed of dark?

Why are violets blue and not violet?

Do you realize just how many holes there could be in the ground if people like you would just take the time to get a shovel and dig the dirt out of them?

What could possibly go wrong?

Why do British people not sound British when they sing?

Should Friday the 13th be made into a holiday?

If a chameleon was placed in a mirrored box, what color would it be - clear?

Why do we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

Why is it that when you walk up the stairs and you get to the top, you always think there is still one more step?

Is there a butterscotch flavored soft drink?

Can you make another word using all the letters in ‘anagram’?

Is there something else you should be doing right now?

Does it seem that some people specialize in turning positives into negatives?

What did moths congregate around before campfires, torches, and light bulbs were invented?

Does killing time damage eternity?

Can we spell creativity any way we want to?

How old were you when you were born?

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

Why is a square meal served on a round plate?

If you could have picked your own name, what would it be?

What do penguins wear for play clothes?

Have you noticed that since everyone has a digital camera or a cell phone with a built-in camera these days, no one talks about seeing UFO’s and monsters and ghosts like they used to?

Who wants to go outside and play?

Is there mouse-flavored cat food?

What are male ladybugs called?

How can you tell when it is time to tune your bagpipes?

If you joined the circus, what kind of performer would you want to be?

Why don’t we call mustaches “mouthbrows?”

What do you think is the right age for marriage and why?

“You’ve got to ask! Asking is, in my opinion, the world’s most powerful - and neglected - secret to success and happiness.” -Percy Ross

Who is the funniest person in the world?

What things do you always carry with you in your pocket, purse, or wallet?

What just happened?

Whether you need the answer to a serious question or a silly question, call 1-334-844-4244 to reach the Foy Information Line at Auburn University in Auburn, Alabama, United States of America. The service is staffed by students, who try to answer questions on any subject, and is available during the school year, 24 hours a day Monday through Thursday and until 9:00 p.m. Friday through Sunday. Be sure to tell them you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

What are humans?

Since there is a speed of light and a speed of sound, is there a speed of smell and a speed of taste?

What’s next?

Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?

Are we ever going to make it up this hill?

An average four-year-old child asks 437 questions a day. Have you asked even one question today?

Do you have all of your ducks in a row?

What are male ballerinas called?

“He who asks a question may be a fool for five minutes, but he who never asks a question remains a fool forever.” -Tom J. Connelly

What would love do now?

How many days are in a light year?

Do some people have a condition that makes it difficult for them to remember the good things that happen and easy to remember the bad things that happen?

Are adults just older children?

Can you name something that is not weird, odd, or unusual?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alex?
Alex, who?
Alex the questions around here!

Why hasn’t someone invented a bed that makes itself yet?

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

Question Everything.

Why do people go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?

Teacher: What if this was not a rhetorical question?
Student: What if this was not a hypothetical situation?

What do you like to do for fun?

A year from now, what will you wish you had done today?

“The word ‘question’ originates from the Latin root ‘quaestio’ meaning ‘to seek.’ Inside the word ‘question’ is the word ‘quest,’ suggesting that within every question is an adventure, a pursuit which can lead us to hidden treasure.” -Tom Wujec: “Five Star Mind” (1995)

Since we have kneecaps, why do we not have elbowcaps to protect our funny bones?

“If not you who? If not now when?” -Garry Herbert

How fast do you have to go to keep up with the Sun so that you are never in darkness?

“There are no foolish questions and no man becomes a fool until he has stopped asking questions.” -Charles Steinmetz (Charles Proteus Steinmetz (1865 - 1923))

If you could be any kind of animal, what would you want to be and why?

What is keeping you from doing the things you need to do?

Are there legitimate ways to earn money online?

“Asking silly questions now is better than correcting serious mistakes later.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Why is there one in every crowd?

If life is so wonderful and exciting and full of interesting people and places and things, then why are we all by ourselves looking at the screens of our electronic devices?

At the end of the day, are you better off than you were at the start of the day?

When a word is erased with a pencil eraser, where does the word go?

Who has been the biggest influence on your life?

Why do we believe everything we see on the internet but question what The Bible says?

What is your favorite work of art?

Which is a sign of higher intelligence, asking questions, or not asking questions?

Sales Person: Be sure to ask me if you have any questions.
Customer: Sure thing . . . so do I have any questions?

“There are no foolish questions, only foolish silence.” -Author Unknown

What kind of place is this?

Which do you like more: scary movies, romantic movies, or comedy movies?

Why does this keep happening?

“Bromidic though it may sound, some questions don’t have answers, which is a terribly difficult lesson to learn.” -Katharine Graham (1917 - 2001)

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

What is the best advice you ever received?

Would you rather go shopping or sightseeing, and why?

If a thousand seagulls were in an airplane while it was flying, with each bird weighing two pounds, and all of them flying around inside the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2,000 pounds more?

Do you play a musical instrument?

If you could go back in time and speak to your younger self, what age would you choose and what would you say?

Why do we say an alarm is going off when it is actually turning on?

Would we all be better off if we refused to accept anything that was offered to us for free?

What is your favorite song?

If the Universe is expanding, why are parking spaces still so hard to find?

“If water had a flavor, what color would it sound like?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

What do you think is beyond the stars?

Wow, those were some challenging and difficult questions! Fortunately, the topic that follows next on MFOL! is much easier . . .

1 Comment

Fun Facts and Trivia

2/2/2020

0 Comments

‘Meow’ means ‘woof’ in cat.

Maurice: What is a ‘camel’s hair’ brush made of?
Maureen: Squirrel fur!

The word ‘trivia’ comes from the Latin word ‘trivium,’ meaning a place where three roads meet. At such places, just as at public squares, people would gather and talk about all sorts of matters, most of which were ‘trivial.’

The English Channel between England and France grows about 300 millimeters wider each year. Perhaps the British are on their way to visit their cousins in America?

Instead of a birthday cake, many children in Russia are given a birthday pie.

“There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970)): “In Praise of Idleness” (1932)

Boston College is in Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts . . . much to the consternation of people who arrive in Boston, expecting to find it there.

The very first computer ‘mouse’ was made in 1964 by a man named Doug Engelbert. The mouse was made of wood.

Worcestershire sauce is really just anchovy ketchup.

Why do the wires on telephone poles hum? Well, it is not the electricity or people’s phone conversations that produce the hum. The hum you sometimes hear is caused by the wind passing through the wires and making them vibrate to make a sound, which varies in pitch depending upon the speed of the wind and the tightness of the wire.

There is no egg in eggplant, no ham in hamburger, and neither apple nor pine in pineapple. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads are meat - and not at all sweet.

The coins thrown into the Trevi Fountain in Italy are collected for charity.

The Antpitta avis canis Ridgley is a species of bird that barks like dog.

The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.

The average person consumes 45,424 liters (12,000 gallons) of water in a lifetime.

The most common time for wakeup calls at hotels is 7:00 a.m.

Van Camp’s Pork and Beans were a staple food for Union soldiers during the American Civil War.

The expression ‘three dog night’ originated with the Eskimos and means a very cold night - so cold that a person would have to bed down with three dogs to keep warm.

Aphesis is when unstressed vowels are skipped. Examples: Because - ’cause, amid - ’mid, especially - ’specially.

The United States Federal Aviation Administration once did a study that found the average airline stewardess (flight attendant) has a nose that is 5.5372 centimeters (2.18 inches) long. Does knowing this help stewardesses move around in the narrow spaces inside airplanes, or does it help to keep the aircraft weight low to conserve fuel and increase flight distance?

While she never lived further west than Ohio, Annie Oakley (pseudonym of Phoebe Anne Moses) was famous as an expert shotgun and rifle marksman in ‘Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show.’

The world’s largest human-made hole is in Kimberly, South Africa. It has a circumference, or distance around its outer edge, of 1.6 kilometers, and a depth of 800 meters. Digging was started on it in 1871, to find buried diamonds.

The letter combination ‘ough’ can be pronounced in nine different ways. The following sentence contains all of them: “A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.”

‘Moon trees’ were grown from seeds taken to the Moon during the Apollo 14 mission in early 1971. NASA and USFS wanted to see if being in space or in the Moon’s orbit caused the seeds to grow differently.

Why is it that when people are in the public eye they are said to be ‘in the limelight’? Invented in 1825, limelight was used in lighthouses and stage lighting by burning a cylinder of lime in an oxyhydrogen flame to produce a brilliant light. In the theatre, performers on stage ‘in the limelight’ were seen by the audience as the center of attention.

Abdul Kassem Ismael, the Grand Vizier of Persia in the 10th century, could not bear to part with his 177,000-volume library when he traveled, and so he had the books carried by a caravan of 400 camels trained to walk in alphabetical order.

Phonetic ABC’s: A system used by the military and others when people need to spell out words to be precise in spoken communications. Usually this is done to avoid confusion when words or letters have similar sounds. Words are substituted for letters of the alphabet, commonly: Alpha for a, Bravo for b, Charlie for c, Delta for d, Echo for e, Foxtrot for f, Golf for g, Hotel for h, India for i, Juliet for j, Kilo for k, Lima for l, Mike for m, November for n, Oscar for o, Papa for p, Quebec for q, Romeo for r, Sierra for s, Tango for t, Uniform for u, Victor for v, Whiskey for w, X-ray for x, Yankee for y, and Zulu for z.

Blackboard chalk is not chalk, but is plaster of Paris.

China is believed to be the world’s oldest continuously existing human civilization. That is, if we consider humans to be civilized.

An average person consumes more than a ton of food and drink each year.

The car in the foreground on the back of an American $10 bill is a 1925 Hupmobile.

The real name of the horse in the television show “Mister Ed” was Bamboo Harvester.

Cartoon character Sylvester the Cat’s full name is Sylvester J. Pussycat.

The oldest business in the United States of America is the cymbal company Zildjian, which was originally founded in Constantinople in 1623, according to “American Heritage of Invention & Technology” (Winter 2000)

Question: If you were to spell out each number, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter ‘a’?
Answer: One thousand.

Intelligent people are said to have more zinc and copper in their hair.

A car traveling at 80 kilometers (50 miles) per hour burns half of its fuel just to overcome wind resistance. What a drag . . . on your wallet.

The Ten Commandments contain 297 words.
The Bill of Rights is stated in 463 words.
Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address contains 266 words.
A recent federal directive to regulate the price of cabbage contains 26,911 words.

Mike Hayes, a man from Rochelle, Illinois, funded his education by asking 2.8 million people for one penny each. This happened in 1987, so if you wanted to pay for your college education the same way today, you would have to ask more than ten million people.

Fried chicken is the most popular meal ordered in formal, or sit-down, restaurants in the United States of America. The next in popularity are roast beef, spaghetti, turkey, baked ham, and fried shrimp.

American car horns beep in the tone of F.

Hurricanes are storms that form over seas or oceans and last for up to ten days.

Bali, an island of Indonesia, has the world’s largest variety of flora, or plant life.

All the people on Earth could fit into a 1-kilometer cube, if done so in the manner that groups of people once stuffed themselves into telephone booths or crowds of clowns stuff all of themselves into compact cars

Cars were first started with ignition keys in 1949.

Chalk is made from tiny plankton fossils.

What is ‘dry ice’? Dry ice is compressed carbon dioxide gas. It is compressed until it is liquefied; after liquefaction, it is frozen. Dry ice is used as a refrigerant, as it is a solid that changes back to a gas without ever becoming a liquid. It remains in a solid state for a longer time, and at cooler temperatures, than ordinary ice.

Most of the vitamin C in fruits is in the skin.

William Moulton Marston was the creator of the fictional superhero Wonder Woman. He also invented the polygraph machine, widely known as the lie detector.

England’s first great industry was wool.

The world record for a photographic memory feat is held by a man in Burma who recited 16,000 pages of Buddhist canonical texts from memory.

Every year, one ton of cement is poured for each man, woman, and child on Earth. What are you going to do with yours?

Dreamt is the only English word that ends in ‘mt.’

Half of all crimes are committed by people under the age of 18.

During a total solar eclipse, the temperature can drop by 6 degrees Celsius (20 degrees Fahrenheit).

A wire clothes hanger is about 112 centimeters (44 inches) long when straightened.

Halley’s Comet passes the Earth every 76 years, and the next time it will return will be 2062.

An electric eel can produce a shock of up to 650 volts.

Jack is the most common name in nursery rhymes.

About 45 percent of the world’s human population lives in China and India.

The first comic strip was, “The Yellow Kid,” published in the “New York World” newspaper starting in 1896. The cartoonist was named Richard Felton Outcault.

Someone has said that it takes 17 muscles to smile and 43 to frown.

Two of the words in the English language that have all five vowels in alphabetical order are ‘abstemious’ and ‘facetious.’ Even more amazing is that no one really knows what these words mean.

It takes 1,100 watts of electricity to power a toaster.

The Sea of Tranquility on the Moon is deeper than the highest mountain on Earth.

‘Sheik’ means ‘old man’ in Arabic.

The symbol # is known as a pound sign, a hashtag, an octothorpe, and by other names. Octo means eight, and it does appear to have 8 legs. It also resembles the grid used in the game tic-tac-toe. Fascinating.

More than 500 meteorites, or rocks from outer space, hit the Earth each year.

Rubber bands last longer when kept refrigerated.

The Tower of Independence clock on the back of a U.S. $100 dollar bill shows the time as 4:10.

The first rugby club was formed in 1843.

The sari or saree, the traditional dress of women on the Indian subcontinent, has been used continuously and relatively unchanged for thousands of years.

The typical wave height from a Pacific tsunami is between 6 and 9 meters (20 and 30 feet).

Ninety percent or more of an iceberg is under water.

In 1872, Yellowstone Park in the United States of America became the world’s first national park.

The dishwasher was invented in 1889.

The largest island in the Mediterranean Sea is Sicily.

An average person consumes 100 tons of food and 45,424 liters (12,000 gallons) of water in a lifetime.

The supersonic Concorde jet made its first trial flight on 1 January 1969.

The oldest word in the English language is ‘town.’

The average person has 10,000 taste buds.

The Pyramid of Giza, one of the Great Pyramids in Egypt, is made of 2.5 million blocks of stone.

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is ‘screeched.’

Yahoo was originally called ‘Jerry’s Guide to the World Wide Web.’

At a National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) conference in 1972, Roxcy Bolton proposed naming hurricanes after Senators instead of women. She also preferred “him-i-canes.”

Classical music composer Ludwig van Beethoven was once told by a music teacher that he has no talent for music.

Before jets and jet lag, there were boats and boat lag.

The world’s knowledge is growing so fast that ninety percent of what we will know in 50 years’ time will be discovered in those 50 years.

The doorbell was invented in 1831.

The world’s record for continuous pogo stick jumping is 41 hours.

Fathers tend to determine the height of their child, mothers their weight.

‘Karoke’ means ‘empty orchestra’ in Japanese.

In 1972, a Swedish man balanced on one foot for over five hours, using nothing for support.

Castor oil is used as a lubricant in jet airplanes.

The three most common languages in the world are Mandarin Chinese, Spanish, and English.

Clark Gable’s middle name was Clark, and his first name was William.

Possibly, every person is afraid of something, and some people are said to be afraid of everything. Panophobia is a fear of everything, and nihilophobia is a fear of absolutely nothing . . . also known as being foolhardy.

‘Almost’ is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

The largest living structure on Earth is the 2,000 kilometer (1,243 mile) long Great Barrier Reef on Australia’s coast.

“Well, allow me to introduce myself to you as an advocate of Ornamental Knowledge. You like the mind to be a neat machine equipped to work efficiently if narrowly and with no extra bits or useless parts. I like the mind to be a dustbin of scraps of brilliant fabric, odd gems, worthless but fascinating curiosities, tinsel quaint bits of carving, and a reasonable amount of healthy dirt. Shake the machine and it goes out of order; shake the dustbin and it adjusts itself beautifully to its new position.” -Robertson Davies

This is MFOL! . . . where there is no such thing as an unimportant fact . . . more follows . . . with some fun . . .

0 Comments

Personal Cleanliness and Hygiene

1/28/2020

0 Comments

Mildred: How does one give an elephant a bath?
Dorothy: First, get a very large rubber ducky . . .

Monkey bath: A bath so hot that, as you lower yourself into the tub, you say, “Oo-oo aa-aa, oo-oo aa-aa!”

Mud baths are more popular than some people might be aware. Many rich people pay a whole lot of money just to go to spas and resorts to soak and bathe in mud. Elephants also enjoy bathing in squishy mud baths - just as much as rich people do. However, elephants are much smarter than rich people, so they take their mud baths in the great outdoors and pay . . . nothing!

Michelle: What kind of person steals soap?
Michael: A dirty crook, that’s who!

Handwashing Song

Wash, wash, wash your hands,
Clean them both the same,
Between the fingers, front and back,
Until germs go down the drain!

by Author Unknown (can be sung to the same tune as that of the song, “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”)

Proper Handwashing
1. Wet hands with water.
2. Apply soap.
3. Lather hands, wrists, and lower part of forearms with soap.
4. Scrub thoroughly for half a minute.
5. Rinse with water.
6. Dry.

Aquadextrous (ak-wa·deksꞋtrus), adjective. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with one’s toes.

Queen Isabella I of Spain, who financed Christopher Columbus’ voyage of discovery to the New World, claimed to have bathed only twice in her lifetime. Even France’s King Louis XIV bathed only once a year. But they were not as strange as people might think, because during their time, attitudes toward bathing were very different from those common today. It just goes to show that we have learned a lot as a species, and we doubtless have much more to learn.

“Cleanliness is next to godliness.” -John Wesley (1703 - 1791)

“Cleanliness is next to goodliness.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Cleanliness is next to impossible.” -Author Unknown

“Dirt is not dirt, but only something in the wrong place.” -Henry John Temple (also known as Lord Palmerston (1784 - 1865))

“Why Dirt Is Good: 5 Ways to Make Germs Your Friends” (2009) is a book by Mary Ruebush, Ph.D., who is an award-winning professor of immunology and microbiology at Kaplan Medical in Bozeman, Montana, United States of America. In the book, she demonstrates a lively mastery of her subject, providing readers with an education in immunology and explaining ‘good germs.’ The book offers medically sound advice, explaining how we can become healthier by exposing ourselves to some of the things in our environment that many of us tend to avoid obsessively.

Cats bathe with their tongues, though usually they bathe just themselves.

There are two kinds of people in the world: Some people bathe in the evening before going to bed, and some people bathe in the morning after waking up. Wait, maybe there are more than two kinds of people - what about people who bathe in the middle of the day, or people who bathe twice, first before going to bed, and again after waking up . . .

“A bit of muck never hurt anyone.” -Author Unknown: Yorkshire saying

Ablutophobia is a fear of washing or bathing. Most people with the condition learn over time that cleaning oneself is not to be feared; however, for those with a persistent case of the condition, compassionate counseling may be necessary. Because it can be embarrassing, many ablutophobia sufferers find discussing it difficult, and will need genuine understanding and encouragement in overcoming their fear. Ridiculing or teasing them will make the condition worse, and for those who smell bad, they most likely already know they do, so they won’t be helped by being lectured to or scolded about their body odor. Like most fears, ablutophobia can have a real cause, often being rooted in unpleasant or even traumatic experiences. It can also be a symptom of living in extreme poverty or of being in a family or other relationship in which ongoing abuse occurs, and these root causes would need to be addressed in order to help a person overcome ablutophobia. Ablutophobia is derived from the Latin word ‘ablutere’ meaning ‘to wash off’ and the Greek word ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’

Riddle: The more I dry, the wetter I get - what am I?
Solution: I am a towel.

Young Lady from Crete

There was a young lady from Crete,
Who was so exceedingly neat,
When she got out of bed,
She stood on her head,
To keep from soiling her feet.

by Author Unknown

Why is it that no matter what the color of the bubble bath, the bubbles are white?

Nothing is quite as welcome after dirty, grimy work as are rest and relaxation . . . except perhaps cleaning up with soap and water.

If soap falls on the floor, does the soap get dirty, or does the floor get clean?

Global Handwashing Day is on 15 October of each year. Let us all wash our hands in celebration!

How do animals keep themselves clean? Chickens take baths by flopping around in dirt and dust, which prevents tics, lice, and other bugs from making their permanent homes under the chickens’ feathers. Pigs also keep bugs off themselves by taking mud baths, and caked-on mud has the additional advantage of reducing pigs’ sunlight exposure, because pigs, like humans, can get unpleasant sunburns.

Bob: Want to hear a ‘dirty’ joke?
Otto: Sure, why not.
Bob: A man fell in the mud.

Otto: Want to hear a ‘clean’ joke?
Bob: What is that?
Otto: The man took a bath!

Ivory bar soap, known for possessing the property of floating in water, was created by accident. A worker in a factory left the soap-making machinery running too long, which caused tiny air bubbles to form in the soap. Customers who bought bars of soap made from this particular batch wrote letters to the manufacturer, saying how much they liked having soap that floated in their bathtubs, and that is the story of how Ivory bar soap came to be the soap that floats.

“One keep-clean is better than ten make-cleans.” -Author Unknown

▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪

Reasons to Not Wash

If we take the same excuses that people use for not going to church and apply them to other areas of life, we would realize just how inconsistent people can be in their logic.

1. I was forced to as a child.
2. People who make soap are only after your money.
3. I wash on special occasions like Christmas and Easter.
4. People who wash are hypocrites - they think they are cleaner than everyone else.
5. There are so many different kinds of soap; I cannot decide which one is best.
6. I used to wash, but it got boring, so I stopped.
7. None of my friends wash.
8. The bathroom is never warm enough in the winter or cool enough in the summer.
9. I will start washing when I get older and dirtier.
10. I cannot spare the time.

by Author Unknown

▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪

Al: What is the best cure for dandruff?
Lex: Baldness.

If everyone on Earth took a bath in a single day, the entire supply of fresh water on our planet would become dirty, so it turns out that by staying dirty, some people are helping to ensure that the rest of us have clean water. How considerate of them.

▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪

Santa Brought a Bar of Soap

A Funny Christmas Poem for Kids

Santa brought a bar of soap.
I asked him for a phone, but nope.
I didn’t get that brand new phone.
Just soap, and fancy French cologne.
He also brought some new shampoo,
some shower gel, and toothpaste too,
a scented candle for my room,
a dozen bottles of perfume,
deodorant and body spray . . .
I wonder what he’s trying to say?

by Kenn Nesbitt (Copyright © 2014 by Kenn Nesbitt. All rights reserved. Reprinted here with permission of the author.)

We extend a special thanks to the author for allowing us to share his poem with our website visitors. To see more of his work, please visit the funny poetry playground of Children’s Poet Laureate Kenn Nesbitt, at www.Poetry4Kids.com. On the site are funny poems and poetry books for children, classic children’s poetry, pictures, games, contests, poetry lessons and activities, and journals, plus a rhyming dictionary, funny poetry podcast, videos, school visit information, and lots and lots more!

▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪

“In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty.” -Author Unknown: ‘Imbesi’s Conservation of Filth Law’

Cleanliness and Hygiene Quiz
- What are three things that can help a person become clean?
- How often should a person take a bath or a shower?
- What happens if a person puts on too much perfume, cologne, or other scents?
- When should we wash our hands?
- Why should we wear flip-flops, sandals, or shower shoes when showering in gyms, schools, college dorms, and other places outside of our homes?
- Why should we not share our personal care items, such as toothbrushes, shaving razors, and nail clippers, with other people?
- What is the difference between the words ‘bath’ and ‘bathe,’ besides just the letter ‘e’?

And now the star of the show, second in popularity among bath toys only to a bar of soap and a washcloth, it’s the Yellow Rubber Duckies. Everybody applaud . . . try not to look so surprised!

Why do the instructions on hair shampoo bottles read, ‘Lather. Rinse. Repeat’? If we did this, would we never be able to stop?

“The bathtub is an epicurean innovation from England designed to corrupt the democratic simplicity of the republic. We of the medical profession warn against it as a producer of rheumatic fevers, inflammatory lungs, and all zymotic diseases.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The New York Times” (1841) newspaper

This is MFOL! . . . good clean fun . . . without all that soapy residue . . .

0 Comments

Shoes and Footwear

1/23/2020

0 Comments

These shoes are the cat’s meow . . .

“Give a girl the right pair of shoes and she’ll conquer the world.” -Marilyn Monroe (pseudonym of Norma Jean Mortenson Baker (1926 - 1962))

Overheard: “I have enough shoes.”

The earliest known footwear is a pair of sandals that date back to about 7,000 B.C.E. However, anatomical analysis of early humans seems to indicate that we may have begun wearing shoes as early as 40,000 years ago. Before then, we ran around barefoot and ate rocks. What’s that . . . oh, apparently, early humans did not eat rocks . . . just wild plants, raw meat, and bugs. Aren’t you glad you wear shoes?

Dustin: Do your shoes have holes in them?
Austin: No.
Dustin: Then how did you get your feet into them?

Shoe store sign: Limited Time Offer - Buy Two Shoes - And Get A Third Shoe Absolutely Free!

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Edith: Who always goes to bed wearing shoes?
Edna: A horse, of course.

Shoes all over the world were identical until 1822, when left-footed and right-footed shoes were made for the first time in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States of America.

Sonya: Why did the two shoes not get along?
Sonny: Because they both thought they were ‘right.’

If the shoe fits, it must be some kind of trick - don’t be fooled!

Overheard: Your shoes certainly make you look ‘well-heeled’!

The boots Neil Armstrong wore when he walked on the Moon are still floating around somewhere in outer space. He had to leave his boots there so that he could bring as many Moon rocks as possible back to Earth.

Ida: What has a tongue but cannot speak?
Emma: A shoe.

If the shoe fits, buy a pair in every color.

Sabrina: What runs around all day and then lies on the floor with its tongue hanging out?
Katrina: Your shoe!

In the silent movie, “The Gold Rush” (August 1925), comedic actor Charlie Chaplin actually ate his shoe. He portrayed his signature character, ‘The Tramp’ as a gold prospector who was trapped in a cabin during a snowstorm. Starving, he decided to boil his boot and eat the laces like spaghetti. Fortunately for Mr. Chaplin’s digestive system, the shoe used in the movie was made of licorice candy provided by the American Licorice Company.

“High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))

Tutor: Can you name at least six things you can wear on your feet that begin with the letter ‘s’?
Student: Sandals, shoes, skates, skis, slippers, sneakers, snowshoes, socks, stilts, and stockings.

“It is totally impossible to be well-dressed in cheap shoes.” -Hardy Amies (Edwin Hardy Amies (1909 - 2003))

Many years ago, two salesmen were sent by a British shoe manufacturer to Africa to investigate and report on market potential. The first salesman reported back, “There is no potential here - nobody wears shoes.” The second salesman reported back, “There is massive potential here - nobody wears shoes.”

If the shoe fits your foot, it will not fit your budget.

Apparently, bears never wear shoes, as they prefer to gallop around in just their ‘bear feet.’

Joe’s Shoes

The shoes of old Eskimo Joe
Fell apart as he walked in the snow.
“Have you needle and thread?”
I enquired, but he said,
“No, igloo them, not sew them, you know.”

by Author Unknown

“A man can walk without shoes, but shoes can’t walk without a man.” -George Daly

Squeakers: Shoes that mice wear.

Gregory: Who wears two pairs of shoes, both at the same time?
Geoffrey: Mules - as do horses, ponies, and mammoth donkeys used for riding.

“You cannot put the same shoe on every foot.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

If the shoe fits, you are asleep and having a dream about shoes.

“The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.” -C. G. Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961))

Melody: What is made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
Clarabelle: A shoe.

A typical pair of casual shoes will last for about 500 miles of walking.

This just in: There is more to life than shoes. We are kidding, of course!

If the shoe fits, it must be some kind of magical shoe.

Otis: What does a shoemaker use to repair shoes?
Otto: Toe-nails.

“A handsome shoe often pinches the foot.” -Author Unknown

Presto: What results from wearing tight shoes.

A man walked into a shoe store, and tried on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asked the sales clerk. “Well . . . they feel a bit tight,” replied the man. The assistant bent down and looked at the shoes and the man’s feet. “Try pulling out on the tongue,” offered the clerk. “Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth,” the man said.

Al: What goes, “Thump, thump, thump, squish! Thump, thump, thump, squish!”?
Fred: An elephant wearing a soggy tennis shoe.

“Never buy shoes early in the day when your feet are their smallest.” -Frances Patiky Stein

The best time to buy shoes is when you are cranky and tired from walking and standing around all day, say for example, after work or school. This is because your feet are likely to be at their largest at this time of the day. That is right, your feet change in size throughout the day. It is shocking, we know. In the morning, you arise with your feet well-rested, but as the day progresses, you put a lot of pressure on your feet, causing them to spread out and swell up. If you try on shoes at the start of the day, well, that is when your feet are small, and if you were to continue to wear that same pair of shoes all day long, by the end of the day, your feet would not be happy, because they will be crammed into shoes that are too tiny.

Maxwell: Why do cobblers (shoemakers) go to Heaven?
Maxine: Because they have good soles.

“If the shoe fits, it’s too expensive.” -Adrienne Gusoff

A man walked into a shoe store and asked for a pair of shoes in size eight. The well-trained salesman said, “But sir, you need an eleven or an eleven-and-a-half.” “Just bring me a size eight,” the man said. The sales guy brought them out and the man stuffed his feet into them and stood up in obvious pain. He turned to the salesman and said, “I’ll take them. You see, I have lost my house to the tax collector, I live with my mother-in-law, my daughter ran off with her no-account boyfriend, and my business has filed for bankruptcy. The only pleasure I have left is at the end of the day when I go home and take my shoes off.”

“I have tennis shoes with little rhinestones that I slip on if I exercise. But I always wear heels, even around the house. I’m such a short little thing, I can’t reach my kitchen cabinets.” -Dolly Parton (born 1946)

“Sure, I may walk around as if everything is fine . . . but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. I think that my shoe is trying to eat my sock, and that is a scary thought.” -Author Unknown

Darlene: What did the shoe say to the gum?
Darla: “Stick with me and we’ll go places!”

Shoe Facts
- The bottom of a shoe that touches the ground is called the ‘sole.’
- The part of a shoe above the sole is called the ‘upper.’
- The plastic casings on the ends of shoelaces that prevent them from unraveling are called ‘aglets.’
- The holes in shoes that laces are fed through are called ‘eyelets.’
- The tongue of a shoe will not lick your feet.
- The edge around the opening of a shoe is called the ‘collar.’

If the shoe fits, it’s obviously on somebody else’s foot.

Many people do not know that feet can increase by one-and-a-half shoe sizes or more throughout their lifetimes. A person’s feet can flatten and spread out as he or she ages, causing a permanent increase in both length and width. Additionally, changes in weight, surgery, amount of time spent standing and walking on the feet, lifting and moving heavy items all day long and other physical exertion at work and in play, and pregnancy, can cause foot size to increase. You may want to consider this the next time you go shoe shopping, especially if you are torturing yourself by trying to wear the same shoe size now that you wore years ago as a teenager or young adult. Try on slightly larger size shoes in slightly wider widths, perhaps with more toe room. Your feet will thank you!

“I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside, ‘Made around the corner.’” -Frank Carson

Shoes called sneakers were first produced in about 1800. They had a simple rubber sole design, with the name ‘sneaker’ coming from the fact that their soles are so smooth and yielding that they hardly make a sound on the ground.

Hubert: What kind of shoes do detectives wear?
Hugh: Sneakers!

Another name for a detective is a ‘gumshoe,’ because detectives have traditionally worn soft-soled shoes.

If the shoe fits, buy it.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pear.
Pear, who?
Pear of shoes!

Shoestring: What every self-made businessperson claims to have built a business on.

You can tell a lot about a person’s character by the shoes he or she wears.

Need money? How about this zany idea: Become a ‘shoe reading’ expert. People come to you, you look at their shoes, you tell them what their shoes reveal about them, and you then advise them on what kind of shoes to buy if they want people to have a different opinion of them based on their shoes. This idea makes a lot more sense than palm reading and other methods of ‘fortune telling.’

Overheard: So many shoes . . . and only two feet!

“Your shoes are only as good as the laces they’re attached to.” -Greg Sampson

Norma: Why did the shoelaces arrive late at the party?
Nora: Because they got all tied up earlier.

If the shoe fits, it is too good to be true.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe . . . rumor has it that it once belonged to a giant who lived at the top of a beanstalk . . . the old woman was ambling along, looking for affordable housing in a safe neighborhood for herself and her children, when all of a sudden, a really big shoe dropped out of the sky. Aren’t fairy tales fun?

Emma: What is sixty feet long, green, and has two tongues?
Emily: The Jolly Green Giant’s sneakers!

If the shoe fits, buy the store.

Shoes Quiz
- What features should a person look for in a shoe?
- What are arch supports?
- What is a padded collar on a shoe?
- What are aglets and what is their purpose?
- Which of the following shoe toe shapes is best for your feet: pointed, squared, or rounded?
- In what types of jobs do people need steel-toed boots or shoes?
- Describe the perfect pair of shoes.
- What items make up a shoeshine kit?
- What are sensible shoes?

“I stand corrected!” said the man in the orthopedic shoes.

Shoe store sign: Buy One Shoe - Get Second Shoe Free!

The ‘boat shoe’ was invented by Paul Sperry. He modeled the sole of the shoe after his dog’s paw.

Ernie: What did one shoe say to the other shoe?
Bernie: “You stay here, and I’ll go on ahead to see what’s underfoot.”

“Shoes divide men into three classes. Some men wear their father’s shoes. They make no decisions of their own. Some are unthinkingly shod by the crowd. The strong man is his own cobbler. He insists on making his own choices. He walks in his own shoes.” -S. D. Gordon

Here’s a great title for a song: “I’ve Got the Squeaky Shoes Blues, Yeah!” Now we just need you to write the lyrics, or words, to go along with the song title.

“Shoes speak louder than words.” -Author Unknown

Moses: What kind of shoes are made from banana skins?
Moe: Slippers!

“Between saying and doing many a pair of shoes is worn out.” -Author Unknown: Italian proverb

If the shoe fits, you have somehow been magically transported to a fairy tale land.

Riddle:
I run over fields and woods all day;
Under a bed at night, I wait not alone
With long tongue hanging out,
I will be filled in the morn.
What am I?
Solution:
I am a shoe.

If the shoe fits, you are daydreaming again . . . time to get back to work.

Geoffrey: What has no feet but wears out shoes?
George: A sidewalk.

This is MFOL! . . . and that’s everything we have cobbled together about shoes . . . What’s that? . . . Our shoes are calling to us . . . seems they want to go out walking . . . maybe we will see you out there . . .

0 Comments

Simpletons and Sages

1/22/2020

0 Comments

“Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.” -Tobias Smollett (1721 - 1771)

“By associating with wise people, you will become wise yourself.” -Menander of Athens

“It is peculiarly a fool’s habit to discern the faults of others, and to forget his own.” -Cicero (Marcus Tullius Cicero, also known as Tully (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.))

“A wise man may look ridiculous in the company of fools.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734)

“There are more fools in the world than there are people.” -Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856)

“A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion.” -Grantland Rice (Henry Grantland ‘Grantland’ Rice (1880 - 1954))

“A fool may be known by six things: anger, without cause; speech, without profit; change, without progress; inquiry, without object; putting trust in a stranger; and mistaking foes for friends.” -Author Unknown

“Nearly four decades ago psychologist Stanley Milgram had a volunteer stand stock still on a busy New York sidewalk and look up at the sky. About one in every 25 passersby stopped to look up, too. When five volunteers were recruited to sky-gaze, nearly one in five passersby stopped to look up. When Milgram and his colleagues assembled a group of 18 volunteers to simultaneously look up at nothing in particular, nearly one in two passersby looked up to see what was going on, snarling traffic within moments.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in the “Washington Post” (December 2007) newspaper

Simpletons and Sages Facts
- A simpleton is sometimes perceived by others as being a fool.
- A sage is a supposed wise or learned person.
- Every human is made of part simpleton and part sage.

“You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.” -Colette (Sidonie Gabrielle Colette (1873-1954))

“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” -Bertrand A. Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

“Ignorance is bold, and knowledge reserved.” -Thucydides (about 460 B.C.E. - about 395 B.C.E.): as quoted in James Wood, editor: “Dictionary of Quotations from Ancient and Modern, English and Foreign Sources” (1899), page 178

As a rule, man is a fool.
     When it’s hot, he wants it cool;
When it’s cool, he wants it hot.
     Always wanting, what is not.
-Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.” -Douglas Adams (Douglas Noel Adams (1952 - 2001))

“It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.” -Author Unknown

“I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.” -Alan Coren

“We all know a fool when we see one - but not when we are one.” -Arnold H. Glasow

“I never desired to please the rabble. What pleased them, I did not learn; and what I knew was far removed from their understanding.” -Epicurus (341 B.C.E. - 270 B.C.E.)

“I am a member of the rabble, in good standing.” -Westbrook Pegler

“A wise person does at once, what a fool does at last. Both do the same thing; only at different times.” -Balthasar Gracián (1601 - 1658)

“Nothing is more terrible than to see ignorance in action.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832): “Proverbs in Prose” (1819)

“The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance is poverty. Ignorance is devastation. Ignorance is tragedy. Ignorance is illness. It all stems from ignorance.” -Author Unknown

“A moment’s thought would have shown him. But a moment is a long time, and thought is a painful process.” -J. E. Houseman

Overheard: I am always stupid at the wrong times . . . why can’t I be stupid at the right times?

֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍

Dummy’s Guide to Life

Do you find day-to-day life hard? Do you wish life had an instruction booklet? Do you wish your brain had an owner’s manual? If you answered, “Yes,” to any of these questions, you have come to the right place. Following you will find, free of charge, a short ‘guide to life.’ In here, you will find most of the information you need to live life day by day without injuring yourself. Read carefully, and carry out each instruction exactly.

- Do not eat rocks.
- Do not take naps in the road.
- Do not throw a brick straight up.
- Do not breathe the exhaust from vehicles.
- Walk around toxic waste dumps, not through them.
- Do not stargaze with friends on a hilltop in a thunderstorm and use metal fishing rods as pointers.
- If you need to get somewhere, and a freight train heading in the direction you are traveling just happens to be nearby, resist the urge to stand in front of it and grab hold as it passes.
- If you want to pound on the radiator to tell the landlord to turn up the heat, do not do it with your head.
- Do not make funny faces at angry bulls.
- Do not stick screwdrivers into electrical outlets.
- The warning ‘Do not try this at home’ really means ‘Do not try this at all.’
- Do not iron clothes while wearing them.
- Do not sled down hills with roads at the bottom.
- Do not lick ice.
- Do not pour salt in your eyes.
- Your body has the correct number of holes in it. Do not make any more.
- Do not chase a bear into the woods to get a close-up photo.
- Do not chew on aluminum foil.
- Shovels are for digging holes in the ground, not in the floor of your house.
- Contrary to popular opinion, you are not supposed to strip the protective rubber coating off electrical wires before plugging them in.
- If you want to chew gum, buy some. Do not use the gum from underneath the seats at schools and movie theaters even though it is free.
- Do not kick stone walls.
- Even if you need to get downstairs quickly, do not jump out of a window - use the stairs.
- When using an acetylene torch, do not feel the flame to see if it is sufficiently hot.
- Better yet, stay away from acetylene torches altogether.
- Wear clothes.
- Use a potholder when removing items from the oven.
- No matter how tempting it is to be one of the animals, stay on the outside of all fences and cages and other enclosures at the zoo.
- When sticking thumbtacks into bulletin boards, press on the flat ends.

֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍

“Ignorance is not a simple lack of knowledge but an active aversion to knowledge, the refusal to know, issuing from cowardice, pride, or laziness of mind.” -Karl Popper (1902 - 1994): as paraphrased by Ryszard Kapuscinski in ‘The Philosopher as Giant-Slayer’ in the “New York Times Magazine” (1 January 1995)

Overheard: We have smart phones, smart watches, smart appliances . . . now all we need are smart people!

“He who thinks himself wise, O heavens! is a great fool.” -Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778)): “Le Droit du Seigneur” (1763), part IV, line i

“Who lives without folly is not so wise as he thinks.” -François de La Rochefoucauld (also known as François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)): “Reflections; or, Sentences and Moral Maxims” (1678), Maxim 209

“Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.” -Euripides (484 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“If forty million people say a foolish thing, it does not become a wise one, but the wise man is foolish to give them the lie.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)): “A Writer’s Notebook” (1946), page 76: ‘1901’

Overheard: We are all fools, whether we know it or not.

“You can lead a fool to wisdom but you cannot make him think.” -Author Unknown

“A fool must now and then be right, by chance.” -William Cowper (1731 - 1800)

Two sillies were walking down the street. The first one noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror, and said, “Hmmm, this person looks familiar.” The second one said, “Let me look!” So the first one handed her the compact. The second one looked in the mirror and said, “You silly, it’s me!”

“A fool and his money are soon parted, but how did they get together in the first place?” -Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)

“The fool wonders, the wise man asks.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Proverbs,’ chapter 13, verse 20

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “As You Like It” (1599) Act 5, scene 1; line of fictional character Touchstone

Joyce: Why can’t you tell knock-knock jokes to a simpleton?
Joy: Because they go to answer the door.

“We are fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.” -Author Unknown

“I have always observed that to succeed in the world one should seem a fool, but be wise.” -Charles-Louis de Secondat (Baron de La Brède et de Montesquieu, also known simply as Montesquieu (1689 - 1755))

“Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.” -Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744): “An Essay on Criticism,” (1711), line 625

“Everybody plays the fool.” -Author Unknown: words from a love song

“The greater idiot ever scolds the lesser.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891): “Moby Dick” (1851)

Overheard: Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

He trudged along unknowing what he sought,
     And whistled as he went, for want of Thought.
-John Dryden (1631 - 1700): “Fables Ancient and Modern; Translated into Verse, From Homer, Ovid, Boccace, & Chaucer: With Original Poems” (1700), page 544, ‘Cymon and Iphigenia, from Boccace’ [translated to Modern English]

Ted: Why couldn’t the simpleton call the police?
Theo: He found the ‘9’ button on the telephone, but couldn’t find the ‘11’ button.

“Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.” [translated to English]
“Taciturnitas stulto homini pro sapientia est.” [original Latin]
-Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): “Sententiae,” Maxim 914

“Wise men learn more from fools than fools from wise men; for the wise men shun the mistakes of fools, but fools do not imitate the successes of the wise.” -Cato (Marcius Porcius Cato, also known as Cato the Elder (234 B.C.E. - 149 B.C.E.)): as quoted in Plutarch: “Parallel Lives” (beginning of second century C.E.)

֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍

Simple Simon

Simple Simon met a pieman,
     going to the fair;
Said Simple Simon to the pieman,
      “Let me taste your ware.”

Said the pieman to Simple Simon,
      “Show me first your penny,”
Says Simple Simon to the pieman,
      “Indeed, I have not any.”

Simple Simon went a-fishing
     For to catch a whale;
All the water he could find
     Was in his mother’s pail!

Simple Simon went to look
     If plums grew on a thistle;
He pricked his fingers very much,
     Which made poor Simon whistle.

He went to catch a dicky bird,
     And thought he could not fail,
Because he had a little salt,
     To put upon its tail.

He went for water with a sieve,
     But soon it ran all through;
And now poor Simple Simon
     Bids you all adieu.

by Author Unknown

֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍

“His ignorance is encyclopedic.” -S. J. Lec (Stanislaw Jerzy Lec (1909 - 1966)): “Unkempt Thoughts” (1962)

“Do not seek after the sages of the past. Seek what they sought.” -Basho (Matsuo Bashō (1644 - 1694))

“No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions.” -Charles Proteus Steinmetz (1865 - 1923)

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

“Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” -Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach (1830 - 1916)

“The majority is never right. Never, I tell you! That’s one of these lies in society that no free and intelligent man can help rebelling against. Who are the people that make up the biggest proportion of the population - the intelligent ones or the fools? I think we can agree it’s the fools, no matter where you go in this world, it’s the fools that form the overwhelming majority.” -Henrik Ibsen (Henrik Johan ‘Henrik’ Ibsen (1828 - 1906))

“Today is the wise man’s day, tomorrow is the fool’s day. The wise man is the one who, when he sees what ought to be done, does it today. The foolish man, when he sees what ought to be done, says, ‘I will do it tomorrow.’” -Author Unknown

“A word to a wise person is sufficient.” [translated to English]
“Verbum sapienti sat est.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown

Simpletons and Sages Quiz
- What is a simpleton?
- What is a sage?
- Can a person be both a simpleton and a sage?

“Fools look to tomorrow; wise men use tonight.” -Author Unknown: Scottish proverb

Simpletons and Sages Quiz Answers
- A simpleton is sometimes perceived by others as being a fool.
- A sage is a supposed wise or learned person.
- Every human is made of part simpleton and part sage.

“The truly wise are always simple - simple friendliness, simple decency, simple goodwill between man and man. It is the little mind that spins complications.” -Eugene P. Berlin

“Dare to be wise!” [translated to English]
“Sapere aude!” [original Latin]
-Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.))

This is MFOL! . . . making fun of the mundane . . .

0 Comments

Light Bulbs and Artificial Lighting

1/18/2020

0 Comments

Eugene: How many circus performers does it take to change a light bulb?
Nigel: Two; one to change the bulb and the other to shout, ‘Taaa-daaaaaa!’

Agatha: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Christie: Two; one to screw it almost all the way in, and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

Gertie: Why was the streetlight shining down on the road?
Gertrude: To light the way for the chicken to get safely across.

Orville: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Wilbur: To change a light bulb.

Carmella: How many chickens does it take to change a light bulb?
Christina: Just one, but it has to cross the road first.

Sylvester: How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Sylvia: Only one, but it sure takes a truckload of light bulbs!

Jerry: How many grocery store cashiers does it take to change a light bulb?
Jenny: Are you kidding? Why, they won’t even give change for a five-dollar bill!

Mel: How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Vin: None, they just define darkness as the new industry standard.

Chandelier Man. I walked into a convenience store early this morning and there was a guy hanging from a light fixture on the ceiling, so I asked the clerk what he was doing up there. The clerk said, “Oh, don’t worry about him - he’s just some poor confused guy who thinks he’s a light bulb.” I said, “Don’t you think you should help him get down from there before he falls and hurts himself?” The clerk responded, “Well, yes, I guess I could - but then I would have to work in the dark.”

Mathilda: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Mattie: Only one, because they do not like to share the spotlight.

Jeremy: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Jeremiah: Two; one to assure us that everything possible is being done, while the other one screws the light bulb into a water faucet.

In 1802, English physician Humphrey Davy made an electric light by passing current through a platinum strip, creating the first-known carbon arc lamp.

Frankie: How many Spaniards does it take to change a light bulb?
Francine: Juan.

Jan: How many statisticians does it take to change a light bulb?
Jen: Exactly 1.67.

Herman: How many seabirds does it take to change a light bulb?
Sherman: About four or five terns ought to do the trick.

Would you like to have light bulbs that stay on even after the power goes out, and that you could remove from the sockets to use as portable light sources, just as if they were flashlights? You can. Visit www.lyfelite.com, and let them know you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Joshua: How many carpenters does it take to change a light bulb?
Isaac: Two; one to hold it, while the other one hammers it in.
(When you have a hammer, everything begins to looks like a nail!)

Chester: How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb?
Chet: One.

A layer of dust can build up on light bulbs over time, reducing their light output. Take a dry cloth and wipe the dust off them to restore some of their light output.

A man was polishing a light bulb before inserting it into the socket, when there was a big flash and a genie appeared before him. “I am the genie of the light bulb,” the genie said. “I will answer any three questions for you - but only three. Do you have three questions you would like to ask?” “Who? Me?” asked the man. “Yes, you,” said the genie. “Now, what is your third question?”

In 1878, English chemist and physicist Joseph Swan created a working incandescent lamp and received a patent for it.

Vanessa: How many Roman Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
Vanetta: None. They use candles.

Archie: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
Archibald: One, but he or she will still be living in darkness.

“‘Don’t be the moth. Be the light bulb.’ When I say that I mean don’t follow the crowd. Just shine. Be the light bulb. Do your thing. Pave your own path.” -Sara Paxton

Iris: How many visitors to an art gallery does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Irene: Two; one to do it and one to say, “Huh! My four-year old could have done that!”

Gene: How many antelopes does it take to change a light bulb?
Jean: None; they are hardy animals that migrate between tundra and wide open plains, and therefore have no need for an artificial light source.

Cyrus: How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?
Cyril: Only one, but you should have seen the size of that light bulb!

Otto: How many secularists does it take to change a light bulb?
Bob: None - they leave all of the good deeds for Christians to do.

“When Edison first started out with his ‘crazy’ idea for the light bulb, skeptics were unmoved. They called Thomas Edison a con man and taunted him to prove his bulb could really work. Despite the naysayers, Edison pushed on, demonstrating the importance of sticking with his ‘crazy’ idea which would go on to turn him into one of the world’s most well-known entrepreneurs. The key here is to fan the foolish fire no matter what!” -Linda Rottenberg

In 1879, Thomas Edison invented the first commercially available light bulb, meaning one that people could buy for their own use. His carbon filament incandescent lamp proved to be so vastly superior to candles and oil lamps that everyone from farmers to writers to lawyers to shopkeepers to preachers rushed out to buy them, which spurred the installation of electric generators and electric power lines across the United States of America and around the world.

“I’m one of those people that think Thomas Edison and the light bulb changed the world more than Karl Marx ever did.” -Steve Jobs

Bridget: How many real men does it take to change a light bulb?
Gidget: None, because real men are not afraid of the dark.

Violet: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Viola: That is not funny!

Amos: How many paranoids does it take to change a light bulb?
Moses: Exactly who are you, and why do you want to know?

Lola: Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
Prudence: No, but if you will hum a little of it, I can fake the rest.

Janet: What did one light bulb say to the other?
Anette: “I love you a whole watt!”

Kenneth: How many “Star Trek” Borg does it take to change a light bulb?
Keith: All of them!

Dick: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
Jane: One juggler, but it takes three bulbs.

Eddie: What do you get when you cross a light bulb with a baby?
Ellie: A light bulb that cries when it needs to be changed.

Before the invention and widespread availability of electric lighting, people slept on average ten hours each night.

Ted: How many astronauts does it take to change a light bulb?
Theo: None; changing a light bulb is not rocket science, you know.

May: How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
June: None - the light bulb gives itself up and turns itself in.

Bradley: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
Todd: We will have an estimate ready for you a week from Monday.

How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Golden Retriever: The Sun is shining, the day is young, we have our whole lives ahead of us, and you are inside worrying about a burned out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I will replace any wiring that is not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
German Shepherd: I will change it as soon as I lead these people from the dark, check to make sure I have not missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russell Terrier: I will just pop it in while I am bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I am sorry, but I don’t see a light bulb.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there . . . yep, sure it is, exactly there . . .
Greyhound: It is not moving, so who cares?
New Zealand Sheep Dog: First, I will put all the light bulbs in a little cluster . . .

Myrtle: How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Myron: One, because they are efficient and do not have a sense of humor.
(Wenn Sie Deutscher sind, denken Sie bitte daran, dass dies nur ein Witz ist!)

John: How did the hipster burn his hand?
Jonathan: He changed the light bulb before it was cool.

Claire: How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Clara: Two, one to screw it in, and one not to screw it in.

Melanie: How many burglars does it take to change a light bulb?
Melody: No one knows, because when the light comes on, they all scatter.

David: Why did the fifteen-watt bulb flunk out of school?
Arthur: She was not very bright - but don’t be sad, because she grew up and got a high-paying job in a government bureaucracy, doing nothing worthwhile every day!

Ivan: How many capitalistic exploiters of the working classes does it take to change a light bulb?
Igor: None, that is the historically determined role of the proletariat!

“Suppose you make a hole in an ordinary evacuated electric light bulb and allow the air molecules to pass in at the rate of 1,000,000 a second, the bulb will become full of air in approximately 100,000,000 years.” -Francis William Aston

Percy: Why was the hippie staring at the light bulb?
Mercy: He was trying to do some light reading.

In Victoria, Australia, only licensed electricians are permitted to change light bulbs.

Burt: How many Hegelians does it take to change a light bulb?
Bart: None - the bulb is just at one dialectical pole between ‘bright’ and ‘dark,’ so it will eventually synthesize these into at least some dim glow.

Lois: How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb?
Louis: Who knows . . . why, on their tiny salaries, many of them cannot even afford to teach their students, let alone enlighten them!

Bertha: How many Analytic Philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?
Bert: None - it is a pseudo-problem . . . light bulbs give off light (hence the name); if the bulb was broken and was not giving off light, it would not be a ‘light bulb’ now would it?

Emily: How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?
Emaline: Only one, to aim the X-ray machine, but the bulb changes very, very slowly.

Corey: How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb?
Cora: At least, a Brazilian.

Maxine: How many tech-support people does it take to change a light bulb?
Maxwell: Please continue to hold . . . your call is very important to us.

We are MFOL! . . . changing the world . . . one light bulb at a time . . .

0 Comments

Faith and Belief

1/16/2020

0 Comments

I Believe

I believe in the Sun,
   even when it is not shining.
I believe in love,
   even when I do not feel it.
I believe in God,
   even when He is silent.

by Author Unknown: lines written on the wall of a cellar that had been a hiding place for persecuted Jews in Cologne, Germany during World War 2; the poem was discovered after the building had been destroyed by bombing

“Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we’ll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“To disbelieve is easy; to scoff is simple; to have faith is harder.” -Louis L’Amour (born Louis Dearborn LaMoore (1908 - 1988))

“I truly believe we can either see the connections, celebrate them, and express gratitude for our blessings, or we can see life as a string of coincidences that have no meaning or connection. For me, I’m going to believe in miracles, celebrate life, rejoice in the views of eternity, and hope my choices will create a positive ripple effect in the lives of others. This is my choice.” -Mike Ericksen

“Sometimes the only available transportation is a leap of faith.” -Margaret Shepard

“Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe.” -Mark Victor Hansen (born 1948)

“Faith does not make things easy. It makes them possible.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” Luke, chapter 1, verse 37

“Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, and faith looks up . . .” -Elizabeth Kenny (1880 - 1952)

══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════

Faith

Doubt sees the obstacles,
     Faith sees the way.

Doubt sees the darkest night,
     Faith sees the day.

Doubt dreads to take a step,
     Faith soars on high.

Doubt questions, “Who believes?”
     Faith answers, “I.”

by Author Unknown

══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════

“Faith has to do with things that are not seen, and hope with things that are not in hand.” -Thomas Aquinas (1225 - 1274)

“Start each day by saying to yourself, ‘I can do this.’ As you leave home, say to yourself, ‘I can do this.’ At each step along the way, say, ‘I can do this!’ You can, and you will, because you are an ‘I can do this’ kind of person with faith in yourself, and the knowing that ‘I can do this.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Faith never fails: it is a miracle worker. It looks beyond all boundaries, transcends all limitations, penetrates all obstacles, and sees the goal.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Granted that faith cannot be proved, what harm will come to you if you gamble on its truth and it proves false? If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager, then, without hesitation, that He exists.” -Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662), commenting on belief in God (a quotation often referred to by persons other than its author as ‘Pascal’s Wager’)

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible” (King James Version (1611)), ‘Epistle to the Hebrews,’ chapter 11, verse 1

“Faith without works is like a bird without wings; though she may hop with her companions on Earth, yet she will never fly with them to Heaven.” -Francis Beaumont

“Fear, too, is a type of faith - faith that it won’t work out.” -Mary Tricky (similar quotation attributed to Elizabeth David)

“If I didn’t have spiritual faith, I would be a pessimist. But I’m an optimist. I’ve read the last page in the Bible. It’s all going to turn out all right.” -Billy Graham (William Franklin ‘Billy’ Graham, Junior (born 1918))

“Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

“Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“When I was younger, I thought that the key to success was just hard work. But the real foundation is faith. Faith - the idea that ‘I can do it’ - is the opposite of fear (‘What if I fail?’). And faith creates motivation, which in turn leads to commitment, hard work, preparation . . . and eventually success.” -Howard Twilley (born 1943)

“We are what we believe we are.” -C. S. Lewis (Clive Staples Lewis (1898 - 1963))

“Act like you are blessed. Talk like you are blessed. Walk like you are blessed. Put actions behind your faith and one day you will see it become a reality.” -Joel Osteen (born 1963)

“I could not say I believe. I know! I have had the experience of being gripped by something that is stronger than myself, something that people call God.” -Carl Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961))

══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════

Faith

Faith . . .
Makes the outlook calm,
the uplook constant,
the inlook accurate.

Faith . . .
Makes yesterday a stepping stone,
today a new beginning
tomorrow a limitless possibility.

by Author Unknown

══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════

“Faith is the hostess that will not entertain doubt.” -Jenna Wright

“Nor do I seek to understand that I may believe, but I believe that I may understand. For this too I believe, that unless I first believe, I shall not understand.” -Anselm of Canterbury (about 1033 - about 1109)

“We have no way to know anything for certain except by faith.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.” -Alex Hamilton (born 1936): “Born Old” radio broadcast, as quoted in the “Listener” (9 November 1978)

“Faith can reach beyond the limits of current reason.” -Rosemary M. Wixom

“Faith is the very first thing you should pack in a hope chest.” -Sarah Ban Breathnach

“I believe in the principle that I can make a difference in this world. It may be ever so small, but it will count for the greater good. The goodness of the world in which we live is the accumulated goodness of many small and seemingly inconsequential acts.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that thou mayest believe, but believe that thou mayest understand.” -Augustine of Hippo (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430): “Ioannis Evangelium”

“Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.” -Author Unknown

“Rarely do we find ourselves in circumstances in which we cannot choose for ourselves between faith and belief or doubt and uncertainty.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Just as a small fire is extinguished by the storm whereas a large fire is enhanced by it - likewise a weak faith is weakened by predicament and catastrophes whereas a strong faith is strengthened by them.” -Viktor Frankl (Viktor Emil Frankl (1905 - 1997))

“Faith is to believe what you do not yet see; the reward for this faith is to see what you believe.” -Augustine of Hippo (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430)

“It is good to dream, but it is better to dream and work. Faith is mighty, but action with faith is mightier. Desiring is helpful, but work and desire are invincible.” - Thomas Robert Gaines

“The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen.” -Frank Lloyd Wright (1867 - 1959)

“Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he is.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Fear imprisons, faith liberates; fear paralyzes, faith empowers; fear disheartens, faith encourages; fear sickens, faith heals; fear makes useless, faith makes serviceable.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969)

“In actual life every great enterprise begins with and takes its first forward step in faith.” -Friedrich von Schlegel (1772 - 1829)

“I feel for all faiths the warm sympathy of one who has come to learn that even the trust in reason is a precarious faith, and that we are all fragments of darkness groping for the Sun. I know no more about the ultimates than the simplest urchin in the streets.” -Will Durant (William James ‘Will’ Durant (1885 - 1981)): “The Story of Civilization” (1935 - 1975), volume 6, ‘The Reformation’ (1957), ‘Preface’

“Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.” -Brené Brown

When you walk to the edge of all the light you have
And you take the first step into the darkness of the unknown
You must believe that one of two things will happen
There will be something solid for you to stand upon
Or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton: “The Leaning Tree” (1 January 1975), ‘Faith’; type of work: collected poems by a single author in book form; author’s website: https://patrickoverton.com

“The question what to believe is perhaps the most momentous that anyone can put to himself. Our beliefs are not to be classed among the luxuries, but among the necessaries of existence.” -Felix Adler (1851 - 1933)

“The progress of mankind has always depended upon those who, seemingly isolated and powerless in their own day, have seen their vision and remained true to it. In the darkening corridors of time, they preserved integral their vision of the daylight at the end. This is a matter not of calculation but of faith. Our work may be small and its results invisible to us. But we may rest assured it will come to fruition in God’s good time.” -John Ferguson: “The Enthronement of Love”

“They are able because they think they are able.” -Vergil: “The Aeneid” (about 29 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.), verse 231; variously translated as “They can because they think they can.”

“Faith is the antidote for fear.” -Russell M. Nelson

“Faith is courage; it is creative. Despair is always destructive.” -David S. Muzzey

“He does not believe, that does not live according to his Belief.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 1838

“If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

“The only thing that separates any one of us from excellence is fear, and the opposite of fear is faith.” -Michael J. Fox (pseudonym of Michael Andrew Fox (born 1961))

“Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe.” -Author Unknown

“It is a good thing to believe; it is a good thing to admire. By continually looking upwards, our minds will themselves grow upwards; as a man, by indulging in habits of scorn and contempt for others, is sure to descend to the level of those he despises.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875)

This is MFOL! . . . be of good cheer and talk to the world . . . of happiness . . .

0 Comments

Poetry

1/11/2020

0 Comments

Time Is . . .
Too slow for those who wait,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice,
But for those who love,
Time is Eternity.
-Henry van Dyke (Henry Jackson van Dyke, Junior (1852 - 1933)): “Music and Other Poems” (1904), ‘Time Is’

“Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.” -Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967)

You speak
As one who fed on poetry.
-Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)): “Richelieu” (1839) play, Act i, Scene vi

There Isn’t Time!

There isn’t time, there isn’t time
     To do the things I want to do,
With all the mountain-tops to climb,
     And all the woods to wander through,
And all the seas to sail upon,
     And everywhere there is to go,
And all the people, everyone
     Who lives upon the Earth, to know.
There’s only time, there’s only time
     To know a few, and do a few,
And then sit down and make a rhyme
     About the rest I want to do.

by Eleanor Farjeon (1881 - 1965)

“Poetry is truth dwelling in beauty.” -Robert Gilfillan

“The world is full of poetry. The air is living with its spirit; and the waves dance to the music of its melodies, and sparkle in its brightness.” -James Gates Percival (1795 - 1856)

Cats

Cats, no less liquid than their shadows,
     Offer no angles to the wind.
They slip, diminished, neat, through loopholes
     Less than themselves.

by A. S. J. Tessimond: “Cats” (1934), page 20

“If there would be a recipe for a poem, these would be the ingredients: word sounds, rhythm, description, feeling, memory, rhyme, and imagination. They can be put together a thousand different ways . . .” -Karla Kuskin (1932 - 2009)

“A poet is a man who puts up a ladder to a star and climbs it while playing a violin.” -Edmond de Goncourt

As I Was Falling Down the Stair

As I was falling down the stair
     I met a bump that wasn’t there;
It might have put me on the shelf
     Except I wasn’t there myself.

by Hughes Mearns (1875 - 1965)

Overheard: Poems that do not rhyme . . . are written by lazy poets.

“It’s silly to suggest the writing of poetry as something ethereal, a sort of soul-crashing emotional experience that wrings you. I have no fancy ideas about poetry. It doesn’t come to you on the wings of a dove. It’s something you work hard at.” -Louise Bogan

“As things are, and as fundamentally they must always be, poetry is not a career, but a mug’s game. No honest poet can ever feel quite sure of the permanent value of what he has written: He may have wasted his time and messed up his life for nothing.” -T. S. Eliot (Thomas Stearns Eliot (1888 - 1965))

“Our poets . . . spent too much of their lives inside rooms and classrooms when they should have been trudging up mountains, slogging through swamps, rowing down rivers.” -Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989): “Vox Clamantis in Deserto” (“A Voice Crying in the Wilderness”) (1989), chapter 5: ‘On Writing and Writers, Books and Art’

I think that I shall never see
     A poem lovely as a tree.
-Joyce Kilmer (1886 - 1918): “Trees” (1913)

Wilhelm: The poet Robert Burns wrote, “To a Field Mouse.”
Wilbert: And did he get an answer?

“A backward poet writes inverse.” -Author Unknown

Deborah: How do poets say hello?
Barbara: Hey, haven’t we metaphor?

Jane: How do poets say goodbye?
Jean: “I’d like to linger a little longer but it’s getting alliter-late.”

The poet and ornithologist
Differ in ways absurd.
     One writes - “The bird is on the wing”;
     The other answers - “No such thing!
The wing is on the bird.”
-Author Unknown

“If you cannot be a poet, be the poem.” -David Carradine (born John Arthur Carradine (1936 - 2009))

When I can look Life in the eyes,
     Grown calm and very coldly wise,
Life will have given me the Truth,
     And taken in exchange - my youth.
-Sara Teasdale (Sara Teasdale Filsinger, born Sara Trevor Teasdale (1884 - 1933))

How are poems made? Poems seldom pop out of people’s heads in a complete and finished form. Usually a subject or a short rhyme occurs to someone, and the person puts it in writing, then adds more lines, and then changes the words and punctuation many times before a poem begins to take form. Often poems are set aside for a time, and then the poet returns to them, reads them, and makes more changes. What eventually happens is one of three things: 1. the poet says to him or herself that a poem is good enough, though perhaps not perfect, and leaves it as is; 2. the poet gives up and discards the poem; 3. the poet finds the poem to be perfect and proudly proclaims it to the entire world or to a somewhat smaller audience.

I Saw a Man Pursuing the Horizon

I saw a man pursuing the horizon;
Round and round they sped.
I was disturbed at this;
I accosted the man.
“It is futile,” I said,
“You can never -”
“You lie,” he cried,
And ran on.

by Stephen Crane (1871 - 1900)

“A poet is someone who is astonished by everything.” -Author Unknown

P

P’s a poetical bore
Who recites his own lines by the score.
     The ladies, poor dears,
     Are all moved to tears
And strong men are moved - to the door.

by Oliver Herford (1863 - 1935)

“Poetry is the best words in the best order.” -Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834)

Poetic Outlook. A University of North Carolina English instructor introduced to his class what he termed “one of the finest, most elegant lines of poetry in the English language.” He had duly recorded it in all of his notebooks as a constant reminder of its beauty. “Walk with light!” he quoted, and then repeated softly and blissfully to himself, “Walk with light . . . now isn’t that a wonderful thing to say to someone?” The class agreed, of course, and wished to know the author. “I suppose it’s anonymous,” said the instructor. “It’s written on a sign at the intersection of Franklin Street and Fourteenth Avenue.”

A ‘poet laureate’ is a person chosen to voice the sentiments of a group or organization, such as a government or a private club, in poetry.

“I would love to be the poet laureate of Coney Island.” -Thornton Wilder (Thornton Niven Wilder (1897 - 1975))

“There’s no money in poetry, but then there’s no poetry in money either.” -Robert Graves (Robert von Ranke Graves (1895 - 1985))

“If you want to write poetry you must earn a living some other way.” - T. S. Eliot (Thomas Stearns Eliot (1888 - 1965))

Lila: Why are poets poor?
Silas: Because rhyme does not pay.

“The courage of the poet is to keep ajar the door that leads into madness.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))

▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪

The Zigzag Boy and Girl

I know a little zigzag boy,
     Who goes this way and that;
He never knows just where he puts
     His coat or shoes or hat.

I know a little zigzag girl,
     Who flutters here and there;
She never knows just where to find
     Her brush to fix her hair.

If you are not a zigzag child,
     You’ll have no cause to say
That you forgot, for you will know
     Where things are put away.

by Author Unknown

▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪

Duncan: Why was John Keats always hounded by creditors?
Candace: Because he Ode so much.

“The three r’s of poetry are rhyme, rhythm, and reason. Leave out any one of them and you risk writing a mere garbled jumble of words.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

There are said to be no words in the English language that rhyme with month, orange, purple, and silver. Unless, of course, someone like you makes up new words.

Epigram from the French

Sir, I admit your gen’ral rule
     that every poet is a fool:
But you yourself may serve to show it
     that every fool is not a poet.

by Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744) (1732)

“Most people ignore most poetry because most poetry ignores most people.” -Adrian Mitchell: “Poems” (1964)

“The man is either mad, or he is making verses.” [translation to English]
“Aut insanit homo, aut versus facit.” [original Latin]
-Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)): “Satires,” II, 7, 117, as quoted in Kate Louise Roberts: “Hoyt’s New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations” (1922), page 607

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Some poems rhyme
Some poems have titles
Some poems have authors
And then there are ones like this one -
The nutty nonconformist poem.

“All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

“Poetry is the clear expression of mixed feelings.” -W. H. Auden (Wystan Hugh Auden (1907-1973))

Free verse: Verse that follows no particular form, meter, or rhyme scheme.

“I would as soon wright free verse as play tennis with the net down.” -Robert Frost (Robert Lee Frost (1874 - 1963))

“Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.” -Don Marquis (1878 - 1937)

And now for some nice, relaxing poetry to soothe your frazzled mind . . .

▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪

A Song of Thanks

It’s sensible that icicles
     Hang downward as they grow,
For I would hate to step on one
     That’s buried in the snow.

It’s really best that tides come in
     And then return to sea;
For if they kept on coming in,
     How wet we all would be.

I’ve often thought tomatoes are
     Much better red than blue,
A blue tomato is a food
     I’d certainly eschew.

It’s best of all that everyone’s
     So tolerant today
That I can write this sort of stuff
     And not get put away.

by William Cole

▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪

Abecedarius

A verse called an abecedarius
Begins every line with the various
     Consecutive letters.
     Demanding, these fetters
Encumber - it’s rarely hilarious.

by Author Unknown

“For me, poetry is an impish attempt to paint the color of the wind.” -Maxwell Bodenheim

▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪

I’m Nobody! Who Are You?

I’m nobody! Who are you?
     Are you nobody, too?
Then there’s a pair of us - don’t tell!
     They’d banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
     How public, like a frog,
To tell your name the livelong day,
     To an admiring bog!

by Emily Dickinson (1830 - 1886)

▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪

“Poets utter great and wise things which they do not themselves understand.” -Plato: “The Republic” (about 380 B.C.E.), book II, section 5

It matters not what you do -
     Make a nation or a shoe;
For he who does an honest thing
     In God’s pure sight is ranked a king.
-John Parnell

This is Make Fun Of Life! . . . everything’s better with a bit of poetry . . .

0 Comments

Haikus

1/7/2020

0 Comments

A snapshot of downtown Ukiah, Mendocino County, California, United States of America. The haiku was not invented here, but it is celebrated here . . . more about that later . . .

I hope you enjoy
Haiku as much as I do
And have fun all day

Yes, what you have just read is a haiku, as are the following.

I don’t have a clue -
How does one write a haiku?
It’s so confusing!

I’ll give it a try
So that perhaps by and by
A haiku will come from me

Haiku Facts
- Haiku is pronounced as ‘high-koo.’
- A haiku poem has 3 lines.
- Line 1 has 5 syllables.
- Line 2 has 7 syllables.
- Line 3 has 5 syllables.
- It is not necessary for a haiku poem to rhyme or have rhythm.
- Some haikus have titles and some have none.
- The goal of a haiku is to paint a picture in the mind of the reader.
- The haiku poetry form originated in Japan.

A carpenter’s son
Left the Woodworkers’ Union
Formed new splinter group
-Guy Ben-Moshe

Haikus were originally intended not as an end in themselves, but as a starting point to stimulate classroom discussion on a particular subject.

Pandas

The black and white bears
Sitting under leafy trees
Eating bamboo shoots

by Rebecca Schauer

Ukiah is haiku spelled backwards. It is a deliberate ‘anagram’ of the word for the form of poetry called ‘haiku.’ Anagrams are made by taking the letters in a word or phrase and rearranging them to spell another word or phrase. Ukiah is the name of a city where an annual haiku festival is held. It is an afternoon devoted to haiku poems. A program of music is followed by a presentation of certificates and awards for the winning haikus. Poets of all ages read their winning poems. A reception with refreshments follows, during which the audience has the opportunity to read through an exhibit of selected poems submitted to the festival. You can learn how to submit haikus online for the next annual Ukiah Haiku Festival at www.ukiahaiku.org. Good luck with your entries!

Ukiah

Blue sky, clouds, oak trees,
Sunshine almost every day . . .
This is Ukiah

by Author Unknown

The lemon pickers
And the orchard owners had
A bitter dispute
-Guy Ben-Moshe

Monster under bed -
Oh, please don’t eat me tonight
You’ll get tummy-ache
-David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Is “Haiku!” the sound made by a sneezing poet?

After weeks of watching the roof leak
I fixed it tonight
by moving a single board
-Gary Snyder

While the subject of many haikus is nature, as for example, trees, flowers, or breezes, other kinds of subjects can be used. A senryu (pronounced sen-ree-yoo), also known as a ‘human haiku,’ is a haiku poem that has as its subject human nature rather than the natural world. Like a haiku, it is composed of three lines of five, seven, and five syllables.

The laundry piles up.
I cannot keep up with it.
Will someone please help me?
-Mrs. Cline

Once beyond the gate
I too am a traveler
In the autumn twilight.
-Buson

Haikus are easy,
But sometimes they don’t make sense:
Refrigerator!
-Author Unknown

Writer of haikus
Will never be said of me
I will dig ditches
-David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Now how about you -
Please won’t you write a haiku?
It’s more fun than bugs!

Some of the haikus shown in this article tend to be a little on the silly side, perhaps because that is the side of life we often find ourselves on here at Make Fun Of Life! Most haikus, however, are about nature and other serious subjects. Still, creating silly haikus could be a good beginning point, until you have mastered the art of haiku writing. Whatever is begun as play, and is later taken up as a serious endeavor without ever completely losing the element of play, has a good chance of being wildly successful.

This haiku poem
Is written about a sneeze -
And ends with, “Atchoo!”
-David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

And Now One Last Haiku

Please share your haikus
With us - we’d love to read them,
And get to know you!

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

This is MFOL! . . . life is like a bird that needs two wings to fly, one serious and one silly . . . how many one-winged birds fly in the sky?

0 Comments

Best Wishes and Toasts

1/4/2020

0 Comments

“I see only blue skies and green lights for you.” -Author Unknown

“May you never have to eat your hat.” -Author Unknown

Happy

Happy have we met,
     Happy have we been,
Happy may we part,
     And happy meet again.

by Author Unknown

“May every sunrise bring you hope, and may every sunset bring you peace.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

I Wish Thee

I wish thee health,
     I wish thee wealth,
I wish thee gold in store,
     I wish thee Heaven upon Earth -
What could I wish thee more?
     May your troubles be little ones.

by Author Unknown

“May your every good wish come true.” -Author Unknown

Imagine you are sending a congratulatory email, posting a message on someone’s page on a social networking website, making a dinner party or wedding toast, creating a home-made greeting card, calling a relative or business associate, signing a school yearbook . . . what would you write or say? In this ‘Best Wishes and Toasts’ topic on ‘MFOL!’ you will find examples.

If love were a raindrop,
    I would send you a shower.
If hope were a minute,
    I would send you an hour.
If happiness were a leaf,
    I would send you a tree.
If you need a friend,
    you will always have me!
-Author Unknown

“May you have a long, fulfilling life.” -Author Unknown

A Toast to Us

A toast to us, my good round friends,
     To bless the things we eat;
For it has been full many a year
     Since we have seen our feet.
Yet who would lose a precious pound
     By trading sweets for sours?
It takes a mighty girth indeed
     To hold such hearts as ours.

by Wallace Irwin (1875 - 1959)

“May your strengths be greater than your weaknesses.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Be well.

“Live long and prosper.” -Spock (fictional character portrayed by actor Leonard Nimoy (1931 - 2015)): “Star Trek,” season 2, episode 1: “Amok Time” (1968); based on the “Star Trek” series created by Eugene Wesley ‘Gene’ Roddenbery (1921 - 1991)

Here’s to In-Laws

Here’s to bride and mother-in-law,
Here’s to groom and father-in-law,
Here’s to sister and brother-in-law,
Here’s to friends and friends-in-law,
May none of them need an attorney-at-law.

by Author Unknown

“May your life be as smooth as butter.” -Author Unknown

“I wish you all very good lives.” -Plutarch (C.E. 46 - C.E. 120)

The Arithmetic of Life

May your life be like arithmetic:
Joys added,
Sorrows subtracted,
Friends multiplied,
Love un-divided,
Blessings to infinity.

by Author Unknown

“May you find a moment of joy in each day to come!” -Author Unknown

“May all of your horrible beginnings have wonderful endings.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

A Thanksgiving Day Dinner Toast

Here’s to the day when first
     The Yankees acknowledged
Heaven’s good gifts
     With Thank’ees.

by Author Unknown

“May your today be better than your yesterday, but not as good as your tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“To your health!” [translation to English]
Sláinte! [original Irish Gaelic]
-Author Unknown

“May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you His favor and give you His peace.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Book of Numbers,’ chapter 6, verse 26

Take care!

“Long life to you.” [translation to English]
“Fad saol agat.” [original Irish Gaelic]
-Author Unknown

Question: What is big and gray, and carries flowers to cheer you up when you do not feel well?
Answer: A Get-Well-Ephant!

“Here’s to the two great American birds! May you always have one on your table and the other in your pocket - the turkey and the eagle.” -Author Unknown

“May you fear no outer darkness, and know no lack of inner light.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“May God’s love be with you.” -Author Unknown

“May your life be so full of good people and good things that you never have to say goodbye to more than one of them at a time, so that no part of your life may ever be empty.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Blessed be.

“May the warmth of our affections survive the frosts of age.” -Author Unknown

“May your days be many and may you succeed in life beyond your greatest expectations!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●

Get Well Soon!

I’m in a 10der mood 2day
     & feel poetic, 2;
4 fun I’ll just - off a line
     & send it off 2U.

I’m sorry you’ve been 6 o long;
     Don’t B disconsol8;
But bear your ills with 42de,
     & they won’t seem so gr8.

by Author Unknown

●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●

“Love many, trust a few, always paddle your own canoe!” -Author Unknown

“Hail wedded love, mysterious law, true source of human happiness.” -John Milton (1608 - 1674)

An Irish Blessing

May flowers always line your path
     and sunshine light your day.
May songbirds serenade you
    every step along the way.
May a rainbow run beside you
    in a sky that’s always blue.
And may happiness fill your heart
    each day your whole life through.

by Author Unknown

“May the rest of your life be the best of your life!” -Author Unknown

Graduation

I do not know beneath what sky
     Nor on what seas shall be thy fate;
I only know it shall be high,
     I only know it shall be great.

by Author Unknown

“I wish you well in your endeavors.” -Author Unknown

“May we be alive at this time next year!” [translation to English]
“Go mbeire muid beo ar an am seo aris!” [original Irish Gaelic]
-Author Unknown

●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●

I Wish You All the Happiness

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I hope your dreams will all come true
I hope you find what works for you
I hope you live and never die
I hope you spread your wings and fly

And if you ever need a friend
I’ll be right here ’round the bend
’Cause I got my eyes on you
And all the crazy things you do

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I hope you finally find your truth
I hope you hold onto your youth
I hope you pass your days with a smile
I hope you travel many miles

I hope you never feel the hurt
Of all the pain that’s buried in the dirt
I hope you always find the time
To be with those who ease your mind

And if you ever need a friend
I’ll be with you ’til the end
’Cause I got my eyes on you
And all the beauty inside you

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

by Calvin Becker

●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●

We wish all good things for you.

“May the most you wish for be the least you get!” -Jay O’Brian

Ships

There are strong ships
     And there are fast ships,
Among ships that sail the sea -
     But the best ships
Are friendships.
     So here’s to you,
And here’s to me,
     Good friends may we always be.

by Author Unknown

Have a beautiful life.

“We never eat [to] anybody’s health, always drink [to] it. Why should we not stand up now and then and eat a tart to somebody’s success?” -Jerome K. Jerome (Jerome Klapka Jerome (1859 - 1927)): “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow: A Book for an Idle Holiday” (1892)

In your life, may everything be good.

May the blessings of each day
Be the blessings you need most.
-Author Unknown

May good things come your way!

“May the hinges of friendship never rust, or the wings of love lose a feather.” -Edward Bannerman Ramsey (1793 - 1872): “Reminiscences of Scottish Life: A Toast”

Overheard: I hope you always find always find a reason to smile!

This is MFOL! . . . may we all keep thinking happy thoughts until the Universe becomes positively radiant with them . . . wow, look at how sparkly it is!

0 Comments

Attitudes and Expectations

1/1/2020

0 Comments

“You ‘can do’ with a ‘can do’ attitude!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Be someone who finds something good in each day, and then share it with others.” -Author Unknown

“A great attitude precedes a great performance.” -Author Unknown

A Bad Attitude

A boy who was terribly rude
Found his trouble: a bad attitude.
He pulled thorns from its side,
Smoothed its raw, ruffled hide,
Cut its claws, and his life was renewed.

by Author Unknown

“Change your attitude and change your life.” -Ann Bench

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.” -Herm Albright (1876 - 1944): as attributed in “Reader’s Digest” (1995)

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” -Winston Churchill (Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill (1874 - 1965))

“Clear your mind of can’t.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“In one minute you can change your attitude and in that minute you can change your entire day.” -Spencer Johnson

“The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for the day.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 18 October 1934))

“It’s hard to have a good day with a bad attitude or a bad day with a good attitude.” -Joe Moore

“Train your mind to see something good in everything.” -Author Unknown

“A bad attitude is like a flat tire; you can’t go anywhere without changing it.” -Author Unknown

“There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.” -W. Clement Stone (William Clement Stone (1902 - 2002))

“It’s so hard when I have to, and so easy when I want to.” -Annie Gottlier

“‘You become what you think about’ is the foundation of your actions and reactions. What are your thoughts? Positive all the time? How are you guiding them?” -Jeffrey Gitomer (born 1946)

“Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“The most significant change in a person’s life is a change of attitude. Right attitudes produce right actions.” -William J. Johnson

“Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you.” -Author Unknown

“Your attitude is an outward expression of an inward feeling.” -Author Unknown

“A propensity to hope and joy is real riches; one to fear and sorrow, real poverty.” -David Hume (1711 - 1776): “Essays Moral, Political, and Literary” (1875), volume 1, ‘The Sceptic’ (about 1750)

“We tend to live up to our expectations.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“A Great Attitude becomes a great day which becomes a great month which becomes a great year which becomes a great life.” -Mandy Hale

“A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)): “Faust” (1808)

“Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.” -Michael McGriffy

“Attitudes are contagious - is yours worth catching?” -Author Unknown

“Refuse to criticize, condemn, or complain. Instead, think and talk only about the things you really want.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure. The way you think about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. You are overcome by the fact because you think you are.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.” -Author Unknown

“Positive attitudes create a chain reaction of positive thoughts.” -Author Unknown

“The predominant thought or the mental attitude is the magnet, and the law is that like attracts like. Consequently, the mental attitude will invariably attract such conditions as to correspond to its nature.” -Charles Haanel

“Declarations are powerful. If you declare that you are going to be an optimistic, upbeat person at all times, an interesting phenomenon takes place. When people expect you to be positive, you don’t want to let them down. You live your intentions every day - every minute.” -Neil Eskelin

“What is important to you is not so much the circumstances of your life as your attitude toward them.” -Ernest C. Wilson

“The world is a looking-glass and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face. Frown at it and it will in turn look sourly upon you; laugh at it and with it, and it is a jolly, kind companion.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863)

"If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive to give your best effort, eventually you will overcome your immediate problems and find you are ready for greater challenges.” -Pat Riley

“A bad attitude is merely a reflection of how you feel about yourself.” -David Roppo

“Everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” -Viktor Frankl (Viktor E. Frankl (1905 - 1997)

“Surely the world we live in is but the world that lives in us.” -Daisy Bates

“For success, attitude is equally as important as ability.” -Harry F. Banks

“Just because you can’t be a shining star is no reason you have to be a dark cloud.” -Author Unknown

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Formula for Living Successfully - It is easier than you might think!

Assign each letter of the alphabet a number.
A = 1, B = 2, C = 3, and so forth all the way to Z = 26.

Next, we formulate equations as follows.
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%.
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%.
L+U+C+K = 12+21+3+11 = 47%.

You will notice that none of the above add up to 100%.

So, what does make 100%?

Is it BEING PERFECT? No!
Is it EDUCATION? No!
Is it FATE? No!
Is it GENETICS? No!
Is it MONEY? No!
Is it OTHER PEOPLE? No!

Our ‘ATTITUDE’ in life is what makes for success, as in A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%.

To refresh, ‘Attitude matters 100% in life.’ Now wasn’t that fun?

Every problem or condition has a solution, only if we are willing to change our ‘ATTITUDE.’

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“We attract what we habitually expect; we become what we deeply believe.” -William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994)

“This is the precept by which I have lived: Prepare for the worst; expect the best; and take what comes.” -Hannah Arendt (Johanna ‘Hannah’ Arendt (1906 - 1975))

“It is the nature of man to rise to greatness if greatness is expected of him.” -John Steinbeck (1902 - 1968)

“Every year of my life I grow more convinced that it is wisest and best to fix our attention on the beautiful and the good, and dwell as little as possible on the evil and the false.” -Richard Cecil

“Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.” -Dennis Wholey

“Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold.” -Maurice Setter

“There are in life as many aspects as attitudes towards it; and aspects change with attitudes . . . Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be different. Life would undergo a change of appearance because we ourselves had undergone a change in attitude.” -Katherine Mansfield (1888 - 1923)

“The word ‘lose’ simply stands for Lack Of Success Expectancy.” -Doug Firebaugh (born 1968)

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on Earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” -Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)

“There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.” -Terence (Publius Terentius Afer (185 B.C.E. - 159 B.C.E.))

“Attitude, more than aptitude, will determine your altitude in life.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“High expectations are the key to everything.” -Sam Walton (Samuel Moore ‘Sam’ Walton (1918 - 1992))

“Attitude is greatly shaped by influence and association.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Be thine own palace, or the world’s thy jail.” -John Donne (1572 - 1631)

“It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“We don’t see things as they are, but as we are ourselves.” -Henry M. Tomlinson (1873 - 1958): “Out of Soundings” (1931), chapter 10

“Make it a practice to judge persons and things in the most favorable light at all times and under all circumstances.” -Vincent de Paul (1581 - 1660)

“Take charge of your attitude. Don’t let someone choose it for you.” -Author Unknown

“Remember, a good attitude produces good results, a fair attitude fair results, a poor attitude poor results. We each shape our own life, and the shape of it is determined largely by our attitude.” -M. Russell Ballard: ‘Providing for Our Needs,’ as published in “Ensign” (May 1981), page 85

“The quality of our expectations determines the quality of our actions.” -André Godin

“It’s all in the way you look at things.” -Norton Juster (born 1929)

“A healthy attitude is contagious but don’t wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.” -Author Unknown

“The world can change in an instant. So can the way you choose to see it. Why not choose to see the good in yourself and others?” -Bob Perks

“Your attitude is either the lock on, or the key to the door of success.” -Denis Waitley

“Attitudes are nothing more than habits of thoughts, and habits can be acquired. An action repeated becomes an attitude realized.” -Paul Myer

“Live up to the highest you know in all things.” -Mildred Mann (1904 - 1971)

“Your mental attitude is something you can control outright and you must use self-discipline until you create a positive mental attitude - your mental attitude attracts to you everything that makes you what you are.” -Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970)

“What we see depends mainly on what we look for.” -John Lubbock (1834 - 1913)

“I’ve always tried to go a step past wherever people expected me to end up.” -Beverly Sills (1929 - 2007)

“Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.” -Raymond Chandler (1888 - 1959)

“The most unknown, unused and unrecognized tool of the human mind, is the recognition that attitude is always a choice.” -Mark Horton

“I am responsible for my attitude. My attitude determines my actions.” -Author Unknown

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” -William James (1842 - 1910): as attributed in Norman Vincent Peale: “The Power of Positive Thinking” (1952)

“A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights in our worlds; it seems to magically connect us to all sorts of serendipitous opportunities that were somehow absent before we changed.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

This is MFOL! . . . a whole new ‘fun’ attitude . . .

0 Comments

Inquisitiveness and Curiosity

12/28/2019

0 Comments

“Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness.” -Bryant McGill (born 1969)

“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” -Carl Edward Sagan (1934 - 1996)

“I would rather live in a world where life is surrounded by mystery, than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969): “Riverside Sermons”

Inquisitive Lad

There once was a boy of Bagdad,
An inquisitive sort of a lad.
He said, “I will see
If a sting has a bee.”
And he very soon found that it had!

by Author Unknown

“A good scientist is a person in whom the childhood quality of perennial curiosity lingers on. Once he gets an answer, he has other questions.” -Frederick Seitz (1911 - 2008)

Patrice: You’re a real curiosity - did you know that?
Shaun: Well, thank you, though I doubt if you shall ever solve me.

“The Quest Quotient has always interested me more than the Intelligence Quotient.” -Eugene S. Wilson (Eugene S. ‘Bill’ Wilson (1905 - 1981)): as quoted in “Reader’s Digest” (April 1968)

“Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.” -James Stephens

“Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton asked why.” -Bernard Baruch (1870 - 1965)

“Be curious always! For knowledge will not acquire you; you must acquire it.” -Sudie Back (Sudie E. Back)

“Leave no stone unturned.” -Euripides (484 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says: ‘Leave no stone unturned.’” -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)

“The true delight is in the finding out rather than in the knowing.” -Isaac Asimov (1919 - 1992)

“Look and you will find it - what is unsought will go undetected.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“Curiosity is a willing, a proud, an eager confession of ignorance.” -S. Leonard Rubinstein (Samuel Leonard Rubinstein (1922 - 2013)): “Writing: A Habit of Mind” (1972)

“Be aware of wonder. And then remember the, “Dick and Jane,” books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - look.” -Robert Fulghum (Robert Lee Fulghum (born 1937))

“Not to know is bad; not to wish to know is worse.” -Author Unknown

“Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (12 March 1751

“I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“A generous and elevated mind is distinguished by nothing more certainly than an eminent degree of curiosity.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“There are two sorts of curiosity - the momentary and the permanent. The momentary is concerned with the odd appearance on the surface of things. The permanent is attracted by the amazing and consecutive life that flows on beneath the surface of things.” -Robert Lynd (Robert Wilson Lynd (1879 - 1949))

“Curiosity is the one thing invincible in nature.” -Freya Stark (Freya Madeline Stark (1893 - 1993))

“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.” -Author Unknown

“The greatest virtue of man is perhaps curiosity.” -Anatole France (pseudonym of Jacques Anatole François Thibault (1844 - 1924))

“Curiosity killed the cat.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in the “Los Angeles Times” (22 August 1901) newspaper

Overheard: ‘Curiosity killed the cat’ is a common saying, but until someone shows me the record of the incident, I shall be disinclined to believe it.

“The place where you lose the trail is not necessarily the place where it ends.” -Tom Brown, Junior

Amy: Who crossed the road and left everyone wanting an explanation?
Eva: The chicken.

“The first and simplest emotion which we discover in the human mind, is curiosity.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

“Satisfaction of one’s curiosity is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life.” - Linus Pauling (1901 - 1994)

“Things that people learn purely out of curiosity can have a revolutionary effect on human affairs.” -Frederick Seitz (1911 - 2008): in an interview (3 September 1997) for the George C. Marshall Institute

A ‘clue’ originally meant a ball of thread . . . hence, one ‘unravels’ the clues of a mystery.

“Isn’t it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive - it’s such an interesting world. It wouldn’t be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There’d be no scope for imagination then, would there?” -L. M. Montgomery (Lucy Maud Montgomery (1874 - 1942)): “Anne of Green Gables” (June 1908), Chapter 2; line spoken by fictional character Anne

“‘Curiouser and curiouser!’ cried Alice.” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Alice in Wonderland” (1865), Chapter II

This is MFOL! . . . the website for anyone who has ever been told that he or she is a real curiosity . . . which is what we happily are . . .

0 Comments

Gratitude and Thankfulness

12/27/2019

0 Comments

“There is always something to be thankful for!” -Author Unknown

“Live in gratitude. When you are thankful for what you have, you are always rewarded with more.” -Author Unknown

“Thank you, thank you very much!” -Elvis Presley (Elvis Aron Presley (1935 - 1977))

“The more you recognize and express gratitude for the things you have, the more things you will have to express gratitude for.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“It is a sign of mediocrity when you demonstrate gratitude with moderation.” -Roberto Benigni (Roberto Remigio Benigni (born 1952))

“No one who achieves success does so without the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude.” -Alfred North Whitehead (1861 - 1947)

“Appreciation can make a day - even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” -Margaret Cousins (Margaret Elizabeth Cousins (1878 - 1954))

A: Thank you very much.
B: You’re welcome very much!

“You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.” -Sarah Ban Breathnach (born 1947): “Simple Abundance” (1995)

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank, who?
You’re welcome!

“People who live the most fulfilling lives are the ones who are always rejoicing at what they have.” -Richard Carlson (1961 - 2006)

The Thank You Song

For soap and tissues
   And useful things
For jungle gyms
     And slides and swings
For music and stories
     And pictures gay
We sing our thank you song today
     For the blue of the sky
For the gold of the Sun
     For mothers and fathers
And friends and fun
     For bulbs in the soil
And fishes that play
     We sing our thank you song today.

by Author Unknown

“What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it - would you be likely to give them another? Life is the same way. In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have.” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955))

“Gratitude makes everything turn into a gift.” -Author Unknown

“How happy a person is depends upon the depth of his gratitude.” -John Miller (1923 - 1961): as quoted in Edythe Draper: “Draper’s Book of Quotations for the Christian World” (1992), Entry 5249

“The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.” -William Blake (1757 - 1827)

“To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.” -Johannes A. Gaertner (Johannes Alexander Gaertner (1912 - 1996))

“Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you.” -Eileen Caddy (1917 - 2006)

“Gratitude is a fruit of great cultivation. You do not find it among gross people.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“Say thank you to everyone you meet for everything they do for you.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life.” -Christiane Northrup (born 1949)

“Gratitude is the memory of the heart.” -Jean-Baptiste Massieu (1772 - 1846)

“Many people who order their lives rightly in all other ways, are kept in poverty by their lack of gratitude.” -Wallace D. Wattles (Wallace Delois Wattles (1860 - 1911))

Overheard in a coffee shop: “Thanks a Latte.”

“My life isn’t perfect but I am thankful for everything I have.” -Author Unknown

“Gratitude is a sign of maturity . . . Where there is appreciation, there is also courtesy and concern for the rights and property of others.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Gratitude in advance is the most powerful creative force in the Universe.” -Neale Donald Walsch (born 1943)

“A person who feels appreciated will always do more than is expected.” -Author Unknown

“In everything give thanks.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘First Thessalonians,’ chapter 5, verse 18

“My husband gave a battery of intelligence and personality tests to a job applicant. One question was, ‘If you were given a million dollars, what would be the first thing you would buy?’ The young man replied, ‘A thank-you card.’” -Beverly Weaver

“Outcomes rarely turn on grand gestures or the art of the deal, but on whether you’ve sent someone a thank-you note.” -Bernie Brillstein and David Rensin: “The Little Stuff Matters Most” (2004)

“Persons thankful for little things are certain to be the ones with much to be thankful for.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))

“Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“An ungrateful man is like a hog under a tree eating acorns, but never looking up to see where they come from.” -Timothy Dexter

“Happiness is itself a kind of gratitude.” -Joseph Wood Krutch (1893 - 1970)

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” -Melody Beattie (Melody Lynn Beattie (born 1948))

“No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake up each day and be thankful for life. Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive.” -Author Unknown

“‘Merry’ is a word for Christmas . . . ‘happy’ is a word for New Year’s . . . ‘thanks’ is a word for all year long.” -Author Unknown

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“Take time today to appreciate someone who does something you take for granted.” -Author Unknown

“Gratitude is like a magnet; the more grateful you are, the more you will receive to be grateful for.” -Iyanla Vanzant (born 1953 as Rhonda Eva Harris)

“A joyful and pleasant thing it is to be thankful.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “Book of Common Prayer” (1662), ‘Psalm 147,’ verse 16

“One act of thanksgiving made when things go wrong is worth a thousand when things go well.” -Author Unknown

“It is not happy people who are thankful, but thankful people who are happy.” -Author Unknown

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say ‘thank you?’” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?” -Author Unknown

“I woke up. I have clothes to wear. I have running water. I have food to eat. Life is good. I am thankful.” -Author Unknown

“Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.” -John Milton (1608 - 1674)

A grateful heart a garden is,
     Where there is always room
For every lovely God-like grace,
      To come to perfect bloom.
-Author Unknown: as quoted in the “Christian Science Hymnal,” #3

“Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.” -Author Unknown

In our daily lives, we must see
That it is not happiness that makes us grateful,
But the gratefulness that makes us happy.
-Albert Clarke

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” -Cicero (Marcus Tullius Cicero, also known as Tully (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.))

“The more you thank life, the more life gives you to be thankful for.” -Author Unknown

“Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty.” -Author Unknown

“Gratitude is Heaven itself.” -William Blake (1757 - 1827): as quoted in Alexander Gilchrist: “Life of William Blake” (1863), ‘1803-1804,’ page 200

“Be thankful for the smallest blessing, and you will deserve to receive greater. Value the least gifts no less than the greatest, and simple graces as special favors. If you remember the dignity of the Giver, no gift will seem small or mean, for nothing can be valueless that is given by the most high God.” -Thomas à Kempis (1380 - 1471)

Not for the mighty world, O Lord, tonight,
     Nations and kingdoms in their fearful might -
Let me be glad the kettle gently sings,
     Let me be grateful for little things.
-Edna Jaques (1891 - 1978)

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Gratitude is the most exquisite form of courtesy.” -Jacques Maritain (1882 - 1973)

“Upon waking, let your first thought be, ‘Thank you.’” -Author Unknown

“Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it.” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955))

“Someone else is praying for the things you take for granted. Be thankful.” -Author Unknown

“If we appreciate what we have, it becomes more; if we belittle what we have, it becomes less.” -Author Unknown

“The greatest thing is to give thanks for everything. He who has learned this knows what it means to live. He has penetrated the whole mystery of life: Giving thanks for everything.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

“How do you say, ‘thank you,’ for sunshine or health . . . for clear days or gentle rains . . . for happiness, joy, or love? You say it by sharing what you have. You say it by making the world a better place in which to live.” -Thomas D. Willhite (1940 - 1983)

“Jesus, please teach me to appreciate what I have before time forces me to appreciate what I had.” -Susan L. Lenzkes

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more in life there will be to praise and celebrate.” -Author Unknown

“Gratitude takes three forms; a feeling in the heart, an expression in words, and giving in return.” -Author Unknown

“In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906 - 1945)

“He who can give thanks for little will always find he has enough.” -Author Unknown

“The enlightened give thanks for what most people take for granted . . . As you begin to be grateful for what most people take for granted, the vibration of gratitude makes you more receptive to good in your life.” -Michael Bernard Beckwith

“Ingratitude is one of our great sins.” -Ezra Taft Benson (1899 - 1994): as quoted in “Ensign” (May 1977), page 33

“No better words than ‘thank you’ have yet been discovered to express the sincere gratitude of one’s heart; when the two words are sincerely spoken.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“Gratitude is a duty which ought to be paid, but which none have a right to expect.” -Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712 - 1778)

“I wish that people would take the time to show people that they are important in their lives either at work or at home. Too many times people take others for granted and I think that needs to change. People are so much nicer and willing to help you if you use those two little words that mean so much . . . Thank You!” -Gina Gillespie

“Gratitude is the best attitude.” -Author Unknown

“Never forget those who helped you along the way.” -Author Unknown

“If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily.” -Gerald Good

Overheard: Always say, “Thank you.”

This is MFOL! . . . thank you for including us in your day . . . much more fun and learning follows just below . . .

0 Comments

Poverty and Prosperity

12/24/2019

0 Comments

Alas! old man, we’re wealthy now, it’s sad beyond a doubt;
     We cannot dodge prosperity, success has found us out.
Your eye is very dull and drear, my brow is creased with care,
     We realize how hard it is to be a millionaire.
-Robert W. Service (Robert William Service (1874 - 1958)): “Complete Poetical Works of Robert W. Service” (1960), ‘The Joy of Being Poor,’ part 3, lines 1 through 4

“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.” -W. C. Fields (pseudonym of William Claude Dukenfield (1880 - 1946))

The Poor

Speak gently, kindly, to the poor;
     Let no harsh term be heard;
They have enough they must endure
     Without an unkind word.

by David Bates

“Poverty is an anomaly to rich people; it is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell.” -Walter Bagehot (1826 - 1877)

Money is honey, my little sonny,
     And a rich man’s joke is always funny.
-Thomas Edward Brown (1830 - 1897)

Overheard: There are advantages to owning no furniture. For example, you can’t fall out of bed if you sleep on the floor.

“There is a science of getting rich, and it is an exact science, like algebra or arithmetic. There are certain laws which govern the process of acquiring riches, and once these laws are learned and obeyed by anyone, that person will get rich with mathematical certainty.” -Wallace D. Wattles (Wallace Delois Wattles (1860 - 1911))

“The best thing you can do for the poor is not to be one of them.” -Frederick Eikerenkoetter

“Whereas it has long been known and declared that the poor have no right to the property of the rich, I wish it also to be known and declared that the rich have no right to the property of the poor.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“If you cannot be satisfied with what you have, you must learn to be satisfied with what you haven’t.” -Caroline Rush: “Further Tales of Mr. Pengachoosa” (1967)

“Upper crust of society: A lot of crumbs held together by dough.” -Author Unknown

“I want there to be no peasant in my kingdom so poor that he cannot have a chicken in his pot every Sunday.” -Henry IV

“The well-fed does not understand the lean.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb

“If living conditions don’t stop improving in this country, we’re going to run out of humble beginnings for our great men.” -Russell P. Askue

“There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the Summertime and the poor get it in the Winter.” -Bat Masterson (William B. ‘Bat’ Masterson)

“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” -Virginia Woolf (Adeline Virginia ‘Virginia’ Woolf (1882 - 1941)): “A Room of One’s Own” (1929)

There’s many a thing which they
Whose coats are tattered never dare to say.
-Juvenal (Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis (about C.E. 55 - C.E. 130))

“Human prosperity never rests but always craves more, till blown up with pride, it totters and falls. From the opulent mansions pointed at by all passers-by none warns it away, none cries, ‘Let no more riches enter!’” -Aeschylus (about 525 B.C.E. - about 456 B.C.E.)

“The most inconvenient feature about poverty is that one is apt to get used to it.” -Author Unknown

Your country clubs, the cars, the boats -
Your assets may be ample,
But the best inheritance
You can leave your kids
Is to be a good example.
-Barry Spilchuk

“The story of his youth was a series of bitternesses, as is the case with almost all distinguished men. Poverty sits by their cradle, and keeps watch over them till they have grown up; and this lean nurse remains their true companion through life.” -Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856)

“The poor are rightfully the property of the rich, because the rich made them so.” -Author Unknown

“You can’t get rid of poverty by giving people money.” -P. J. O’Rourke (Patrick Jake O’Rourke (born 1947))

“For many men, the acquisition of wealth does not end their troubles, it only changes them.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.” -Willem de Kooning

“It is true that you cannot take it with you, but folks ought to remember that how you got it may determine where you go.” -Author Unknown

“The poor have very few hours in which to enjoy themselves; they must take their pleasure raw; they haven’t the time to cook it.” -W. B. Yeats (William Butler Yeats (1865 - 1939)): “Where There Is Nothing” (1903)

“Being in poverty is like being a crab in a bucket full of crabs. Whenever a crab tries to crawl out of the bucket to freedom, the other crabs grab onto it and pull it back down into the bucket. It is a strange and evil thing: Not only do the poor adamantly refuse to give up the destructive habits that keep them poor, but they also fight viciously to keep themselves and everyone around them forever poor.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“No man becomes rich unless he enriches others.” -Andrew Carnegie (1835 - 1919)

Peniaphobia is a persistent fear of poverty. Plutophobia is a persistent fear of wealth. Perhaps the solution would be to position oneself comfortably between the two, in the place called ‘the middle class.’

“Anyone who has ever struggled with poverty knows how extremely expensive it is to be poor.” -James Baldwin (1924 - 1987): “Nobody Knows My Name” (1961)

“Prosperity: Something that labor creates and for which politicians get all the credit.” -Author Unknown

“It is the weariness of the poor that keeps the rich in power.” -Author Unknown

“If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money cannot buy.” -Author Unknown

“When a man tells you he got rich through hard work, ask him, ‘Whose?’” - Don Marquis (Donald Robert Perry ‘Don’ Marquis (1878 - 1937))

“No matter how little money or how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.” -Louis Sabin

“When prosperity comes, do not use all of it.” -Confucius (also known as K’ung Fu-tzu or K’ung Tzu or K’ung Fu-tse or K’ung Ch’iu (about 551 B.C.E. - about 479 B.C.E.))

“Fortune is ever seen accompanying industry.” -Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774)

Mack: I started out in life with just a penny in my pocket.
Jack: I started out in life without even a pocket.

“There is only one class in the community that thinks more about money than the rich, and that is the poor. The poor can think of nothing else.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

Overheard: Forget about being a millionaire - I just want to be a hundredaire!

“Poverty is feeling poor.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“The philosophy of the rich and the poor is this: The rich invest their money and spend what is left. The poor spend their money and invest what is left.” -Robert T. Kiyosaki (Robert Toru Kiyosaki (born 1947))

“Gabe was so poor that all he had to wear as a boy were hand-me-downs. The real shame was that he had five older sisters and no brothers.” -Author Unknown

“Appreciation of beauty by the poor is an infringement upon the exclusive rights of the rich.” -Author Unknown

You Might Be Poor If . . .
- The last time you bought anything new was . . . it has been so long that you cannot remember with certainty.
- Savings sounds like a great idea and you hope to have some someday.
- You cannot remember when times were not hard and money was not scarce.
- You have only enough to survive.
- You avoid certain places and people or hang your head in shame in their presence.
- You feel like the gulf between poverty and prosperity cannot be bridged.

“Come away; poverty’s catching.” -Aphra Behn (1640 - 1689)

Seldom do people discern
Eloquence under a threadbare cloak.
-Juvenal (Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis (about C.E. 55 - C.E. 130))

“The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least.” -Author Unknown

“It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them.” -Burton Hillis (pseudonym of William Edward ‘Bill’ Vaughan (1915 - 1977))

“Love and business and family and religion and art and patriotism are nothing but shadows of words when a man’s starving.” -O. Henry (William Sydney Porter (1862 - 1910)): “Heart of the West” (1907)

“For every talent that poverty has stimulated it has blighted a hundred.” -John W. Gardner (1912 - 2002)

“The rich are very clever; they have even figured out ways to make money off other people’s poverty.” -Author Unknown

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people He gave it to.” -Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)

“The poor man is not he who is without a cent, but he who is without a dream.” -Harry Kemp

“No one can earn a million dollars honestly.” -William Jennings Bryan (1860 - 1925)

“Let him who expects one class of society to prosper in the highest degree while the other is in distress try whether one side of his face can smile while the other is pinched.” -Thomas Fuller (1608 - 1661)

“A man may live upon little, but he cannot live upon nothing.” -Author Unknown

“Resolve not to be poor: whatever you have, spend less. Poverty is a great enemy to human happiness; it certainly destroys liberty, and it makes some virtues impracticable, and others extremely difficult.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): letter (7 December 1782) to James Boswell

“The prosperous man is never sure that he is loved for himself.” -F. L. Lucas (Frank Laurence Lucas (1894 - 1967))

“He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.” -Bion (about 325 B.C.E. - about 255 B.C.E.)

“The more is given the less people will work for themselves, and the less they work the more their poverty will increase.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910)): “Help for the Starving” (1892)

“Both poverty and riches are the offspring of thought.” -Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970)

“Empty pockets never held anyone back. It’s only empty heads and empty hearts that do it.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993): “Enthusiasm Makes the Difference” (1985)

“Poor people have big television. Rich people have big library.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“The gust of wind that blows out the candle fans the fire; so, too, the winds of fortune that crush the poor man make the rich man prosper.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“He is rich whose income is more than his expenses; and he is poor whose expenses exceed his income.” -Jean de La Bruyère (1645 - 1696): as attributed in “The London Magazine” (December 1827)

Why are the needy only thought of around the holidays? Are they not just as needy throughout the rest of the year? The answer is that charities for the poor are run by rich people, and rich people need more money during the holidays to pay for all their celebrating, so they raise money during this time, keeping most of it for themselves and giving a pittance to the poor. After all, the rich are needier of joy than the poor are.

Rich man: One who is not ashamed to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper or to haggle over the price.

“I have been rich and I have been poor. I know which one I prefer.” -Michael Caine (Maurice Joseph Micklewhite (born 1933))

“Poverty: Something that money cannot buy.” -Author Unknown

“The real measure of our wealth is how much we’d be worth if we lost all our money.” -J. H. Jowett (John Henry Jowett)

“Poor people are rich in excuses, rich people are poor in excuses.” -Author Unknown

“The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.” -Teresa of Calcutta (1910 - 1997)

“It is easy enough for the poor to criticize the rich and for the rich to criticize the poor, but how often do we hear of the rich and the poor getting together, talking to each other, and getting to know each other well enough to be certain that the criticisms are valid?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.” -Author Unknown

“The strongest single factor in prosperity consciousness is self-esteem: believing you can do it, believing you deserve it, believing you will get it.” -Jerry Gillies

“Money polishes the poor, but with a very dull finish.” -Author Unknown

“The human race has had long experience and a fine tradition in surviving adversity. But we now face a task for which we have little experience, the task of surviving prosperity.” -Alan Gregg

“Poverty: A state of mind; also, a bad habit.” -Author Unknown

“Creation of wealth is almost a duty because of the widespread benefits that flow from it.” -John Gunn

Overheard: Some people are so poor that all they have is money.

“Rich: A word for describing someone who make use of the opportunities that poor people ignore or carelessly throw away.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“By desiring little, a poor man makes himself rich.” -Democritus (about 460 B.C.E. - 370 B.C.E.)

“I might have been born in a hovel but I am determined to travel with the wind and the stars.” -Jacqueline Cochran (born Bessie Lee Pittman (1906 - 1980))

“The wealthy man is not he who has money, but he who has the means to live in the luxurious state of early Spring.” -Anton Pavlovich Chekhov (1860 - 1904)

No matter what your income level or property value, determine to live richly . . . and always to Make Fun Of Life!

0 Comments

Rhyming Riddles

12/23/2019

0 Comments

Riddle:
Sometimes curly,
Sometimes flat,
I’m over your head
And under your hat -
What am I?
Answer:
I am your hair.

□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□

Said the Little Dog to the Tree

“Now, why,” remarked the little dog,
    in speaking to the tree,
“Could one say that the heart of you
    is like the tail of me?”

The tree gave the conundrum up.
    The pup, with wisdom stark,
Explained the matter, saying,
    “It is farthest from the bark.”

by Author Unknown

□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□

Riddle:
Each morning I appear,
To lie at your feet,
All day I follow,
No matter how fast you run,
Yet I nearly perish
In the midday sun.
What am I?
Answer:
I am your shadow.

Riddle: What is a plaything for a girl or a boy?
Answer: A toy.

Riddle:
Never resting, never still.
Moving silently from hill to hill.
I do not walk, run, or trot.
All is cool where I am not.
What am I?
Answer:
I am sunlight.

Riddle:
Can you decipher the following?
Yy u r, yy u b
I c u r yy 4 me!
Answer:
Too wise you are, too wise you be,
I see you are too wise for me!

Riddle: What is sweet to eat and rhymes with dandy?
Answer: Candy.

Riddle:
There’s not a kingdom on the Earth,
But I have traveled over and over,
And though I know not whence my birth,
Yet when I come, you know my roar.
I through the town do take my flight,
And through the fields and meadows green,
And whether it be day or night,
I neither am nor can be seen.
Who am I?
I am the wind.

Riddle:
Twelve pairs hanging high,
     Twelve knights riding by,
Each knight took a pear,
     And yet left a dozen there.
Let us consider this mystery,
     How could this ever be?
Answer:
We are twelve pairs of pears.

Riddle: What goes in an envelope and rhymes with better?
Answer: A letter.

Riddle:
Until I am measured
I am not known,
Yet how you miss me
When I have flown.
What am I?
Answer:
I am time.

Riddle:
I am seen in the water
If seen in the sky,
I am in the rainbow,
A jay’s feather,
And lapis lazuli.
What am I?
Answer:
I am the color blue.

Riddle: What did your grandfather use to buy a gumball when he was a boy that rhymes with Jenny?
Answer: A penny.

Riddle:
Lovely and round
I shine with pale light,
Grown in the darkness,
A lady’s delight.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a pearl.

Riddle:
I am only useful
When I am full.
Yet, I am always
Full of holes.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a sieve.

Riddle: What helps us count and rhymes with seven?
Answer: The number eleven.

Riddle:
Glittering points
That downward thrust,
Sparking spears
That never rust.
What am I?
Answer:
I am an icicle.

Riddle:
Great deeds with little strength I do,
I close the open, open the closed, for you.
I keep the master’s house, the master keeps me, too.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a key.

Riddle: What is something you dig where the sea meets the land?
Answer: Sand.

Riddle:
I live in the oceans, the rivers, and seas;
When I’m cold I float -
When I’m hot, I’m free.
What am I?
Answer:
I am water.

Riddle:
I hear a lot
And I say a lot
Few ever look for me
And even fewer ever hear me
I hide in plain sight
Whether it’s day or night
To help is all I want
But most like to bend me
And as if they had a wand
Never again shall anyone find me
They do this to control
Without realizing the high price of a soul
But when I’m least expected
They’d rather be protected
For there shall be no place to hide
What am I?
Answer:
I am the truth.

Riddle: What helps us breath and rhymes with rose?
Answer: Nose.

Riddle:
There was a girl in our town,
Silk an’ satin was her gown,
Silk an’ satin, gold an’ velvet,
Guess her name, three times I’ve telled it.
What is it?
Answer:
Ann is her name.

Riddle:
I sing when I’m struck
Or whenever they shake me.
By mold and cast,
The craftsmen make me.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a bell.

Riddle: What is hot and yellow, and rhymes with fun?
Answer: The Sun.

Riddle:
Little Nanny Etticoat,
In a white petticoat,
And a red nose;
The longer she stands,
The shorter she grows.
What is she?
Answer:
She is a candle.

Riddle:
You’ll see me when the Sun is high and also late at night,
I’m in the songs of holidays, when the snow is white,
Kings and Queens and royalty, are all found in me,
I’m the largest of them all, with just one you see,
Step by step with pounding feet, I’m tribes of angry men,
I’m above your hands right now, for help or to go again,
You’ll use me in the kitchen, or add a little more,
I’ll be in the years to come, and the days of yore.
What am I?
Answer:
I am the number twelve.

Riddle:
Old Mother Twitchett had but one eye,
And a long tail which she let fly;
And every time she went over a gap,
She left a bit of her tail in a trap.
What is she?
Answer:
She is a needle and thread.

Riddle:
A word I know
That six letters contains,
Subtract the last
And only twelve remains.
What is it?
Answer:
The word is dozens.

Riddle:
I like trees,
But I hate bees.
I sleep all day,
And I’m misty and gray.
I have mossy hair,
but I can still be a scare -
What am I?
Answer:
I am a bat.

Riddle:
As I was going to Saint Ives,
I met a man with seven wives,
Every wife had seven sacks,
Every sack had seven cats,
Every cat had seven kittens -
Kittens, cats, sacks, and wives,
How many were going to Saint Ives?
Answer:
Only I was going to Saint Ives.

Riddle:
I am a word of letters three;
Add two,
And even fewer there will be.
Who am I?
Answer:
I am the word few, becoming ‘fewer’ with two letters added.

Riddle:
In marble walls as white as milk,
Lined with a skin as soft as silk,
Within a fountain crystal clear,
A golden apple doth appear,
No doors there are to this stronghold,
Yet thieves break in and steal the gold.
What am I?
Answer:
I am an egg.

Riddle:
I am in the church,
But not in the steeple.
I am in the parson,
But not in the people.
What am I?
Answer:
I am the letter ‘r.’

Riddle:
I run all day and I never walk,
I have a big mouth, but never talk.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a river.

Riddle:
I come in different styles,
I can walk with you for miles,
I come in a pair,
I’m something that you wear,
With heels I am glam -
Can you guess what I am?
Answer:
I am shoes.

Riddle:
In the warm months I wear green,
Both in the day and at night;
As it cools I shed yellow,
But during winter I wear white.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a tree.

Riddle:
You heard me before,
Yet you hear me again,
Then I fade,
’Til you call me again
What am I?
Answer:
I am an echo.

Riddle:
A brightly colored winged-thing,
I flit and flutter all about;
Two antennae, two eyes,
And six little legs have I.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a butterfly.

This is MFOL! . . . welcome to our world . . .

0 Comments

Beginnings and Starting

12/19/2019

0 Comments

You can begin now . . . wherever you might find yourself in life . . . even if your circumstances are far less than ideal . . .

“Mighty things from small beginnings grow.” -John Dryden (1631 - 1700)

No matter our age or where we’ve been
or what we’ve said and done,
Each sunrise is a reminder
that we’ve only just begun.
-Author Unknown

“This is the start of something wonderful.” -Author Unknown

“Begin and you’re halfway there.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“You begin by always expecting good things to happen.” -Tom Hopkins at www.TomHopkins.com

“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake.” -Marie Beynon Ray (1886 - 1969)

“For what it’s worth . . . it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940))

“Everything must have a beginning.” -Author Unknown

“The two important things I did learn were that you are as powerful and strong as you allow yourself to be, and that the most difficult part of any endeavor is taking the first step, making the first decision.” -Robyn Davidson (born 1950)

“The hardest step of any worthwhile endeavor is always the first step. The second hardest step is the one you take after every fiber in your body says, ‘Quit!’ but you know in your spirit you must carry on.” -Al Argo

“Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.” -Demosthenes (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.)

“It isn’t where you came from; it’s where you’re going that counts.” -Ella Fitzgerald (1918 - 1996)

“Begin to be now what you will be hereafter.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“Don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.” -Richard L. Evans (Richard Louis Evans (1906 - 1971))

“Of a good beginning cometh a good end.” -John Heywood (1497 - 1580): “Proverbs” (1546), part I, chapter X

“Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is.” -Ernest Hemingway (Ernest Miller Hemingway (1899 - 1961)): “The Old Man and the Sea” (1952)

“Sometimes it is really hard to get going. We put off things we do not want to do, or we are afraid to try. We occasionally feel overwhelmed by the size of a job to be done, like cleaning out the cellar or reading a long book for a class. But think a minute. If Beethoven had thought about how complicated it would be to write his Ninth Symphony, with all the instruments and voices and notes to blend together, do you really think he would ever have started? But he did not get overwhelmed. He sat down and wrote just one small note, and then another, and third. It took him months, but writing one note led to a second and, one note at a time, he completed it. We begin the same way with whatever tasks we have ahead of us. Each tiny bit of progress helps us go on to the next part. We begin by reading one page of that book, or taking one box of junk from the cellar. That is all we have to do. The rest will follow almost on its own. The trick is to begin.” -Author Unknown

“It is better to begin in the evening than not at all.” -Author Unknown: English proverb

“Start from wherever you are and with whatever you’ve got.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“He has half the deed done who has made a beginning. Have the courage to be wise. Begin!” -Quintus Horatius Flaccus (also known as Horace (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)): “Epistles”

“Do it now, because sometimes ‘later’ becomes ‘never.’” -Author Unknown

“The word ‘begin’ is full of energy. The best way to get something done is to begin. It’s truly amazing what tasks we can accomplish if only we begin.” -Clifford Warren (about 1932 - 2009)

“If you have the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed.” -David Viscott (1938 - 1996)

“The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings.” -Dave Weinbaum (born about 1952)

“If we wait for the moment when everything is ready, we shall never begin.” -Ivan Turgenev (Ivan Sergeyevich Turgenev (1818 - 1883))

“As the dimensions of the tree are not always regulated by the size of the seed, so the consequences of things are not always proportionate to the apparent magnitude of those events that have produced them.” -C. C. Colton (Charles Caleb Colton (1780 - 1832)): “Lacon: or, Many Things in Few Words” (1820), CLXXXVIII

“It is time to get moving. Your spirits will lift accordingly.” -Author Unknown

“Begin with the end in mind.” -Stephen Covey (Stephen Richards Covey (1932 - 2012))

“It doesn’t matter where you start. Only that you begin.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

“Every ending is creating the space and opening for an amazing new beginning.” -Bryant McGill (born 1969)

“All glory comes from daring to begin.” -Eugene Ware (Eugene Fitch Ware (1841 - 1911)): “John Brown”

“The great majority of men are bundles of beginnings.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“It is never too late, just as it is never too early.” -Author Unknown

“If the first button of one’s coat is wrongly buttoned, all the rest will be crooked.” -Giordano Bruno (1548 - 1600): as attributed in John Emerich Edward Dalberg-Acton: “The Cambridge Modern History” (1904), page 707

“He who is outside his door has the hardest part of his journey behind him.” -Author Unknown: Dutch proverb

“The best time for new beginnings is now.” -Author Unknown

“The beginnings of all things are small.” -Marcus Tullius Cicero (also known as Tully or simply as Cicero (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.))

“What is not started today is never finished tomorrow.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” -Joe Sabah: as attributed in Zig Ziglar: “Over the Top” (1994)

“Too many people spend too much time trying to perfect something before they actually do it. Instead of waiting for perfection, run with what you’ve got, and fix it along the way.” -Paul Arden (1940 - 2008)

“You can’t get much done by starting tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“The secret to living the life of your dreams is to start living the life of your dreams today, in every little way you possibly can.” -Mike Dooley (born 1961)

“You can’t cross the sea merely by staring at the water.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

“I have begun several times many things, and I have often succeeded at last.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“The start is what stops most people.” -Don Shula (Donald Francis ‘Don’ Shula (born 1930))

“Making a start involves physics: An object at rest tends to remain at rest and an object in motion tends to remain in motion, unless acted upon by an outside force in either case. So the difficulty is only one of getting an object at rest - which is you, your circumstances, other people around you, and so forth, into a state of motion. Once in motion, or that is, having made a start, objects and courses of events have a known propensity to remain in motion.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Persistent people begin their success where others end in failure.” -Edward Eggleston (1837 - 1902)

“You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” -Stephen King (born 1947)

“Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” -Meister Eckhart (Eckhart von Hochheim (about C.E. 1260 - about 1327))

“A year from now you may wish you had started today.” -Karen Lamb (born 1956)

“The beginning is the most important part of any work.” -Plato (about 427 B.C.E. - about 347 B.C.E.): “The Republic” (about 380 B.C.E.), Book 2

“Don’t be afraid if things seem difficult in the beginning. That’s only the initial impression. The important thing is not to retreat; you have to master yourself.” -Olga Korbut (Olga Valentinovna Korbut (born 1955))

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” -Lao Tzu (604 B.C.E. - 531 B.C.E.)

“If you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured, it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won, or lasting happiness achieved.” -Maurice Chevalier (Maurice Auguste Chevalier (1888 - 1972))

“Don’t wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.” -Author Unknown

“Do not despise the bottom rungs in the ascent to greatness.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“I see now that the circumstances of one’s birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.” -Takeshi Shudo (1949 - 2010), speaking through his fictional character Mewtwo

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” -William Faulkner (William Cuthbert ‘Will’ Faulkner (1897 - 1962))

“Well begun is half done.” -Aristotle (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.): “Politics,” Book V

“So many fail because they don’t get started - they don’t go. They don’t overcome inertia. They don’t begin.” -W. Clement Stone (William Clement Stone (1902 - 2002))

“When was the last time you did something for the first time?” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“You can learn new things at any time in your life if you’re willing to be a beginner. If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up for you.” -Barbara Sher (born 1935): “I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was: How to Discover What You Really Want and How to Get It” (1995)

“First things first, but not necessarily in that order.” -Author Unknown: “Doctor Who”

“The question for each man is not what he would do if he had the means, time, influence, and educational advantages, but what he will do with the things he has.” -Alexander Hamilton (1755 or 1757 - 1804)

“Conditions are never just right. People who delay action until all factors are favorable do nothing.” -William A. Feather (William Arthur Feather (1889 - 1981))

“Begin anywhere.” -John Cage (John Milton Cage, Junior (1912 - 1992))

“It’s time to start living the life you’ve imagined.” -Henry James, Junior (1843 - 1916)

“Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.” -Shunryu Suzuki (1904 - 1971)

“Take the first step, no more, no less, and the next will be revealed.” -Ken Roberts (born 1946): “A Rich Man’s Secret” (1995) (similar quotation attributed to Clement Watt)

“The one thing all famous authors, world class athletes, business tycoons, singers, actors, and celebrated achievers in any field have in common is that they all began their journeys when they were none of these things.” -Mike Dooley (born 1961)

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” -Arthur Ashe (1943 - 1993)

“No matter how small and unimportant what we are doing may seem, if we do it well, it may soon become the step that will lead us to better things.” -Channing Pollock (1880 - 1946)

“Our grand business in life is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“It will get easier once you make the initial push.” -Author Unknown

“Can anything be sadder than work unfinished? Yes, work never begun.” -Christina Rossetti (Christina Georgina Rossetti (1830 - 1894))

“It doesn’t matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Every really new idea looks crazy at first.” -Abraham Maslow (Abraham Harold Maslow (1908 - 1970))

“The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in the egg; and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912): “As a Man Thinketh” (1903)

“You already have all you need.” -James Cardinal Gibbons: “The Light of the Cross” (1905; 2 volumes)

“Start where you are. Distant fields always look greener, but opportunity lies right where you are.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“Out of the lowest depths there is a path to the loftiest height.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tiptoe if you must, but take a step.” -Naeem Callaway (Naeem D. Callaway (born 1979))

“Begin where you are; work where you are; the hour which you are now wasting, dreaming of some far off success, may be crowded with grand possibilities.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“As it turns out, now is the moment you’ve been waiting for.” -Lucinda Williams (born 1953)

“And suddenly you just know it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.” -Meister Eckhart (Eckhart von Hochheim (about C.E. 1260 - about 1327))

This is MFOL! . . . where another topic starts next . . .

0 Comments

Teddy Bears

12/15/2019

0 Comments

“Long before I grew up, my Teddy Bear taught me what love really meant: being there when you’re needed.” -Jim Nelson

Bernie: What do Teddy Bears do when it rains?
Barney: They get wet.

The history of Teddy Bears is believed to have started in about 1902 or shortly thereafter, when the first stuffed Teddy Bears were produced by the Ideal Novelty & Toy Company in America and also by the Steiff Company in Germany. The origin of the name ‘Teddy Bear’ is claimed to be derived from the twenty-sixth American President, Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919; in office 1901 - 1909). His nickname was ‘Teddy,’ so technically, the ‘Teddy Bear’ would be his namesake.

Tad: What’s the difference between Teddy Bears and apples?
Tod: Teddy Bears don’t grow on trees.

“A bear knows all your secrets - and keeps them.” -Rosanne Brown

Two Little Teddy Bears

Two little Teddy Bears
     Big brown eyes
Fluffy little Teddy Bears
     Making mud pies
Muddy little paws, dirty little feet
     Making mud pies is a very special treat
Pop them in the oven
     Bake them in the oven
Bake them till they’re brown
     Our mud pies are the best in town
Ask all the other Bears
     Won’t you come to tea
To eat the finest mud pies
     In the whole country?

by Author Unknown

Melissa: What did the Teddy Bear say when he was offered a second helping?
Chrissy: “No thanks; I’m already stuffed!”

Once upon a time there were three bears . . . three Teddy Bears, that is . . .

“My Teddy was there when I had no friends to play with, no one to talk to, no one to share my little woes or my big joys. He looked constant and was constant. He never aged, no matter how tattered he became. His smell was the smell of my years as a boy, and he alone knew everything. Now, when I see him on the shelf, he is like my flesh and my soul - older, worn, but still full of happiness.” -Robert Kunciov

Theodore: How do Teddy Bears keep their houses cool in Summer?
Ted: They use bear-conditioning.

“It is astonishing, really, how many thoroughly mature, well-adjusted grown-ups harbor a Teddy Bear - which is perhaps why they are thoroughly mature and well-adjusted.” -Joseph Lempa

“Teddy Bears live more commonly in the arms of children than in the woods.” -Author Unknown

Ellie: What do you call a Teddy Bear at the North Pole?
Allie: Lost!

Dutch police cars carry toy Teddy Bears in case something troubling happens to a child.

Theo: How do Teddy Bears send their letters?
Teddy: By bear mail, of course!

Shakespeare pre-dated the Teddy Bear, but he captured the companionship and bond we share with our bears when he wrote: “He was my friend, faithful, and just to me . . .” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

“A bear remains a bear - even when most of him has fallen off or worn away.” -Charlotte Gray

“After people and dolls, Teddy Bears are the third most likely guests to be invited to tea parties.” -Author Unknown

“The gift of a Teddy Bear is good for boys and girls of nearly any age, as well as men and women; they are acceptable in all seasons and on all holidays; they are found in homes, hospitals, and schools. They bring warmth and a sense of belonging to new arrivals in orphanages, foster homes, and emergency shelters. It is not unknown for them to be given by police officers, firefighters, paramedics, soldiers, and rescuers, to persons in distress. As a practical matter, they take up little space, are easily packed and carried, and can double as a pillow for one’s head. They are never out-of-date. In a store somewhere is a Teddy Bear or perhaps a few dozen, waiting to be picked up and presented by you as a welcome gift to someone who is certain to be appreciative.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“A bedroom without a Teddy is like a face without a smile.” -Gil Davies

“The world is divided into two nations: those with Teddy bears, those without. Each thinks the other is odd.” -Jenny De Vries

“There’s no bear like an old bear.” -Samantha Armstrong

Teddy Bear

Teddy was under the lilac bush -
when the snow went away we found him there.
And one of his shoebutton eyes was lost
and the shine was gone from his yellow hair.
But Teddy blinked with his last black eye
and said that he really didn’t care
(except that his cave was a trifle cold)
as long as we came and found him there.
And he said with a smile on his white yarn mouth
that Real bears slept in a cave or lair
All through the Winter . . . and if they could,
well then, why couldn’t a Teddy Bear?

by Aileen Fisher (Aileen Lucia Fisher (1906 - 2002))

“One never quite gets over a lost bear.” -Jane Swan

“Whoever said, ‘Diamonds are a girl’s best friend,’ would retract that statement after seeing the sparkle in a Teddy’s eyes.” -Lana T. Zeis

“Now that I’m all grown up, I can buy any old Teddy Bear I want - except the old Teddy Bear I want.” -William Sternman

Nellie: Why couldn’t the Teddy Bear finish his lunch?
Nettie: Because he was stuffed!

“There’s just something about a Teddy Bear that’s impossible to explain. When you hold one in your arms, you get a feeling of love, comfort, and security. It’s almost supernatural.” -James Ownby

“A Teddy Bear does not depend upon mechanics to give him the semblance of life. He is loved - and therefore he lives.” -Pat Brown

Fuzzy: How do you start a Teddy Bear race?
Wuzzy: Teddy, set, go!

“All bears merit a dignified old age.” -Peter Gray

Vincent: What is the difference between a Teddy Bear and a turkey?
Sylvia: If you don’t know, maybe you shouldn’t cook any holiday dinners!

“A bear grows more alive with age. No one with an ounce of sensitivity could ever consign a bear to the dustbin.” -Johnnie Hague

Tricia: What kind of umbrella does a Teddy Bear carry in the rain?
Beatrice: A wet one!

“Bears are just about the only toy that can lose just about everything and still maintain their dignity and worth.” -Samantha Armstrong

“A Teddy Bear’s virtue is that he cannot love himself . . . only others.” -Ted Menten

“Anyone who has looked a Teddy Bear in the face will recognize the friendly twinkle in his knowing look.” -Harold Nadolny

Your Tiny Teddy Bear

I will be your tiny Teddy Bear,
     And when you need comforting, I will be there!
I’m huggable, lovable, and portable,
     And for the value I bring, I’m quite affordable!
I am cushiony soft and squeezable,
     And I need no batteries, and I am hand-washable!
I am waiting for you, in a shop all alone,
     And now . . . please pick me up and take me home!

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Teddy Bears are one of the most popular gifts to present at baby showers and to newborn babies.

“You really don’t have to be young to find a friend in a Teddy Bear.” -Rachel Newman

For just the right Teddy Bear, visit Vermont Teddy Bears at https://www.VermontTeddyBear.com/ and be sure to let them know you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Geoffrey: Why did the Teddy Bear not eat dessert?
George: Because he was already stuffed.

“Once a bear has been loved by a human being, its expression is forever marked.” -Jama Kim Rattigan

“A Teddy Bear is your childhood wrapped up in faded yellow fur, and as such, he commands affection long after he is outgrown.” -Pat Brown

This is MFOL! . . . we cannot wait to see what is coming next . . .

0 Comments

Past-Dwelling and Past-Dwellers

12/12/2019

0 Comments

“Only look back to see how far you’ve come.” -Author Unknown

“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest, that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.” -Jan Glidewell (James Janis ‘Jan’ Glidewell (1944 - 2013))

“If you’re yearning for the good old days, just turn off the air conditioning.” -Griff Niblack

“If you let go of the past, it no longer has a hold on you.” -Author Unknown

“Do not look back; if Cinderella had gone back to pick up her shoe, she would never have become a princess.” -Author Unknown

“You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“I live in the past because it’s cheaper there.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t look back - that’s not where the future is.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Living in the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back strains the neck muscles, causes you to bump into people not going your way.” -Edna Ferber (1887 - 1968)

“The Ogle Fish swims everywhere backwards, because it is only interested in seeing where it has already been.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Remember, you can’t reach for what’s in front of you, until you let go of what’s behind you.” -Author Unknown

“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Alice in Wonderland” (1865)

“Don’t look back. You’re not going that way.” -Author Unknown

“We can draw lessons from the past, but we cannot live in it.” -Lyndon B. Johnson (Lyndon Baines Johnson (1908 - 1973))

“Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□

The Good Old Days

“In my day, we couldn’t afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In the Winter we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.” -Bill Flavin

“In my day, we didn’t have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.” -Sarah M. Wolford

“In my day, we didn’t have days. There was only ‘time for work,’ ‘time for prayer,’ and ‘time for sleep.’ The sheriff would go around and tell everyone when to change.” -Elden Carnahan

“In my day, we didn’t have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.” -Diana Hugue

by Author Unknown: as published in the “Washington Post” (about 1997) newspaper in a contest on the subject of the difficulty of the good old days

□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□

“For those who live in the past, there is no future.” -Author Unknown

“When setting priorities, going forward is likely to be found to be more important than looking back.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“That which is past is gone and irrevocable, and wise men have enough to do with things present and to come.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): “Essays” (1597)

Aaron: How many past-dwellers does it take to change a light bulb?
Erin: Four. One to change the bulb and three to reminisce about how good the old burned-out, broken bulb was.

“The past is to learn from and not to live in.” -Richard L. Evans (Richard Louis Evans (1906 - 1971))

“The water that is past cannot make the mill go.” -Author Unknown

“How many people long for that ‘past, simpler, and better world,’ I wonder, without ever recognizing the truth that perhaps it was they who were simpler and better, and not the world about them?” -R. A. Salvatore

“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.” -Will Rogers (William Penn Adair ‘Will’ Rogers (1879 - 1935)) (similar quotation attributed to Richard H. Nelson)

“The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post.” -L. Thomas Holdcroft

“If you are still talking about what you did yesterday, you haven’t done much today.” -Author Unknown

“It’s but little good you’ll do a-watering the last year’s crop.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans (1819 - 1880)): “Adam Bede” (1859)

Retrosaurus: A backward-looking dinosaur. Usage example: Past-dwellers can be crusty old retrosauruses at times.

“Nothing has ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now; and if the past cannot prevent you from being present now, what power does it have?” -Eckhart Tolle (born 1948 as Ulrich Leonard Tölle)

“When we cling to the past, we become unavailable in the present.” -Author Unknown

“Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.” -Byrd Baggett

“Move forward, don’t look back, just forget the past.” -Author Unknown

“The more we look backwards, the less we will be able to see forward.” -Author Unknown

Past-Dwelling and Past-Dwellers Quiz
- What does it mean when a person is said to be dwelling in the past?
- What is the difference between dwelling in the past and reminiscing?
- What harm can it do to dwell in the past?
- How can a person stop dwelling in the past, start living in the present, and start working and planning for the future?

“It’s okay to look back at the past. Just don’t stare.” -Benjamin Dover

“We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays.” -Persius (Aulus Persius Flaccus (C.E. 34 - C.E. 62))

“It is not possible to go forward while looking back.” -Ludwig Mies van der Rohe (1886 - 1969)

“When you focus on what might have been, it gets in the way of what can be.” -Patricia Fripp

“Looking back gives you regrets. Looking ahead gives you opportunities.” -Author Unknown

“Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“When you finally let go of the past, something better comes along.” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . looking forward to what is coming next . . .

0 Comments

Quitting and Trying

12/9/2019

0 Comments

“There is an old saying: ‘If you hang in there long enough, keep trying, and don’t give up, something good is sure to happen.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

You Can Do It

Giving up is easy
     When your dreams seem far away,
And life is full of obstacles,
     You face them every day.
But, no matter what the challenge
     Some faith will get you through it.
So never quit believing,
     Just remember, you can do it!

by Author Unknown

“No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.” -Tony Robbins (Anthony Jay ‘Tony’ Robbins (born 1960))

“I already know what giving up feels like. I want to see what happens if I don’t.” -Neila Rey (born 1986), website https://darebee.com

“Never quit. If you stumble, get back up. What happened yesterday no longer matters. Today is another day. So, get back on track and move closer to your dreams and goals. You can do it.” -Author Unknown

“Life is trying things to see if they work.” -Ray Bradbury (Ray Douglas Bradbury (1920 - 2012))

“It’s always too soon to quit!” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“The man who tried his best and failed is superior to the man who never tried.” -Bud Wilkinson (Charles Burnham ‘Bud’ Wilkinson (1916 - 1994))

“Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.” -George E. Woodberry (George Edward Woodberry (1855 - 1930))

“Your biggest break can come from never quitting. Being at the right place at the right time can only happen when you keep moving toward the next opportunity.” -Arthur Pine

“Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.” -Vigil Thomson (1896 - 1989)

“There is no failure except in no longer trying.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“Before you quit, try.” -William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994)

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.” -Cassius Longinus (C.E. 213 - C.E. 273)

“Unless you’re willing to have a go, fail miserably, and have another go, success won’t happen.” -Phillip Adams (Phillip Andrew Hedley Adams (born 1939))

“If you only do what you know you can do, you never do very much.” -Tom Krause (Tom Gunnar Krause (1934 - 2013))

“Try and fail, but don’t fail to try.” -Stephen Kaggwa

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.” -Samuel Beckett (1906 - 1989)

“Don’t give up. One day you will look back and be glad you didn’t.” -Author Unknown

“In every triumph there’s a lot of try.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“Don’t give up. Moses was once a basket case.” -Author Unknown

“No one knows what he can do till he tries.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): “Public Sayings”

“Never let a stumble in the road be the end of the journey.” -Author Unknown

“It doesn’t matter if you try and try and try again, and fail. It does matter if you try and fail, and fail to try again.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“Every accomplishment starts with a decision to try.” -Author Unknown

“If you don’t try, you can’t fail . . . or succeed.” -Author Unknown

“Resolve never to quit, never to give up, no matter what the situation.” -Jack Nicklaus (Jack William Nicklaus (born 1940))

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” -Maya Angelou (Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

“One must learn by doing the thing. For though you think you know it, you have no certainty until you try.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“‘It’s impossible,’ said pride. ‘It’s risky,’ said experience. ‘It’s pointless,’ said reason. ‘Give it a try,’ whispered the heart.” -Author Unknown

“Many a man never fails because he never tries.” -Norman MacEwan (Norman Duckworth Kerr MacEwan (1881 - 1953))

“The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized - and never knowing.” -David Viscott (David Steven Viscott (1938 - 1996))

“Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one-yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown.” -Ross Perot (Henry Ross Perot (born 1930))

“Trying will do anything in this world.” -Theocritus (about 300 B.C.E. - after 260 B.C.E.)

“Try something, anything. If it doesn’t work, try something else. The important thing is that you try, and keep on trying, and never give up trying.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“What isn’t tried won’t work.” -Claude McDonald (Claude Maxwell McDonald (1852 - 1915))

“Michelangelo stated, ‘The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but it is too low and we reach it.’ Don’t give up. Success is within reach of everyone, as long as you try. As long as someone is willing to take the first step and continue taking steps, success can be realized. In fact, taking that first step could be the greatest success because it is the building block for all steps that follow and all successes that will be realized in your life. Remember, always try, and remember this simple saying. I never see failure as failure, but only an opportunity to practice and perfect my skills as I take the journey to becoming successful at whatever I decide to do.” -Author Unknown

“They fail, and they alone, who have not striven.” -Thomas Bailey Aldrich (1836 - 1907)

“Always remember: All that other folks can do, why with patient persistent trying should not you? Keep that noble chin up and keep trying - wonderful things can happen when we just try! Now, think happy thoughts, put your smile on, and have the best imaginable day!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If you never try, you will never know.” -Author Unknown

“Life has two rules: Number one, never quit; Number two, always remember rule number one.” -Duke Ellington (1899 - 1974)

“It is better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Learned helplessness is the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn’t matter.” -Martin Seligman (Martin E. P. ‘Marty’ Seligman (born 1942))

“You can’t even be a failure if you’ve never tried.” -Andy Capp

“You’ll never find out what you can do, until you do all you can to find out.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“One does not always do the best there is. One does the best one can.” -Catherine the Great (also known as Catherine II (1729 - 1796))

“Losers quit when they are tired. Winners quit when they have won.” -Author Unknown

“The only failure is a failure to try. Everything else is just learning.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Have you ever considered the cost of quitting? For a real eye opener . . . ask Thomas Edison . . . Steve Jobs . . . Michael Jordan . . . or Jim Carrey . . . ask them how much it would have cost them if they had quit . . . what about you?” -Doug Firebaugh (born 1968)

Overheard: Give it one more try . . .

“To try and fail is at least to learn; to fail to try is to suffer the inestimable loss of what might have been.” -Chester Barnard (Chester Irving Barnard (1886 - 1961))

“Winners never quit, and quitters never win.” -Author Unknown

“Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will.” -Robert Anthony (Robert Newton Anthony (1916 - 2006))

“Try your best, and then on each succeeding try, attempt to best your last try.” -Author Unknown

“The last dejected effort often becomes the winning stroke.” -W. J. Cameron (William John Cameron (1879 - 1953))

“Ninety percent of those who fail are not actually defeated. They simply quit.” -Paul J. Meyer (Paul James Meyer (1928 - 2009))

“If you find yourself in surroundings or around people who tell you that you are a failure before you have even begun to try, you must find a way to begin to try somewhere else and either around people who do not condemn you, or in peaceful solitude.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If you kinda sorta try, you get kinda sorta results.” -Author Unknown

“Next to trying and winning, the best thing is trying and failing.” -L. M. Montgomery (Lucy Maud Montgomery (1874 - 1942)): “Anne of Green Gables” (June 1908), Chapter 35; line spoken by fictional character Anne

“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” -Beverly Sills (1929 - 2007)

“Do not give up, the beginning is always the hardest.” -Author Unknown

“Every single one of us possesses the strength to attempt something he isn’t sure he can accomplish.” -Scott Jurek (Scott Gordon Jurek (born 1973))

“You won’t succeed unless you try.” -Author Unknown

“How many a man has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience, would have achieved success.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must be first overcome.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): “Rasselas” (1759)

“People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don’t know when to quit. Most men succeed because they are determined to.” -George H. Allen (George Herbert Allen, Senior (1918 - 1990))

“The only ones who truly fail are those that never try.” -Author Unknown

“You can’t hit a home run unless you step up to the plate. You can’t catch fish unless you put your line in the water. You can’t reach your goals if you don’t try.” -Kathy Seligman

“If you try you might; if you don’t you won’t.” -Author Unknown

“You never fail until you stop trying.” -Florence Griffith Joyner (Florence Delorez Griffith-Joyner (1959 - 1998))

“When you win, nothing hurts.” -Joe Namath (Joseph William ‘Joe’ Namath (born 1943))

This is MFOL! . . . where we never stop trying . . . and that is why much more fun and learning is coming up next . . .

0 Comments

<<Previous

Further fantastically fascinating frivolity and factuality await you on the Make Fun Of Life! Website if you will courageously click on any of the colorful words below.

Do you need a joke, quotation, paragraph, or poem about a particular subject or topic? Go to the search box found at the top right side of this page and type it in. We have a surprising variety of material and we add new stuff regularly, so you might find what you are seeking.

Although adults are just serious-minded children, there is a chance for them to be slightly less so, every time they visit Make Fun Of Life!

Make Fun Of Life! can be right there with you, at home or wherever you go, on a laptop, cell phone, tablet, or any other internet connected device. Bookmark us and visit whenever you can. We regularly add fascinating new articles just for you!

When you reach the bottom of this page on Make Fun Of Life! click on <<Previous or Forward>> to see the next page.

You are now on the Make Fun Of Life! Website . . . where humor, inspiration, and learning are back together again - as they were always meant to be.

Welcome to the Make Fun Of Life! Website. We are here to bring a little happiness to the world. Would you like to be among the first people to see new articles when they appear on the website? Click on the social media buttons on the left side of your screen and then follow us. We wish you the very best imaginable day, and thank you for visiting!

Offering you squeaky clean alternatives to what you will find in other media, this is Make Fun Of Life!