Make Fun Of Life!

This Kangaroo Is Seeing Something

1/18/2021

This kangaroo is seeing what is on www.MakeFunOfLife.net and is keenly interested . . . perhaps you will be, too . . .

If you came here looking for fun, you are in the right place. Just travel down this page, skipping any topics that might not interest you, until you come to the ones that appeal to you. When you have a moment, be sure to explore some of the other pages on the website, such as the Silly Pages and the World Pages, which can be viewed by clicking on the menu bar at the top of the sky above.

We are MFOL! . . . bouncing across the internet like a kangaroo . . .

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Procrastination and Procrastinating

1/17/2021

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“Don’t put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))

They said ‘procrastination’ was
     The source of all my sorrow
I don’t know what that big word means -
     I’ll look it up tomorrow
-Author Unknown

Earl: Can you give me the definition of procrastination?
Lee: I will do it later.
Earl: You are right!

procrastination is the
art of keeping
up with yesterday
-Don Marquis (Donald Robert Perry ‘Don’ Marquis (1878 - 1937)): “the lives and times of archy & mehitabel” (1940), using lower case letters and no punctuation, in the style of the fictional writer character he created

“In delay there lies no plenty.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

Overheard: I bought a book titled “How to Stop Procrastinating,” and I have promised myself that someday, I am going to actually read it.

“Do not put your work off till tomorrow and the day after; for a sluggish worker does not fill his barn.” -Hesiod (about 800 B.C.E. - about 720 B.C.E.)

“When we procrastinate, we also put a hold on happiness.” -Charles F. Glassman

“I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator . . . I can put off all kinds of things at once.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Procrastination is not laziness,” I tell him. “It is fear. Call it by its right name, and forgive yourself.” -Julia Cameron (Julia B. Cameron (born 1948)): “The Prosperous Heart” (2012)

“It was my fear of failure that first kept me from attempting the master work. Now, I’m beginning what I could have started ten years ago. But I’m happy at least that I didn’t wait twenty years.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

“Join the circus of chaos . . . juggling, stilt walking, and other skills for socially acceptable procrastination.” -Pat Murphy (Patrice Ann ‘Pat’ Murphy (born 1955))

“Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon ‘Napoleon’ Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Putting off an easy thing makes it hard. Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible.” -George Claude Lorimer (1838 - 1904): as quoted in George Horace Lorimer (1867 - 1937): “Letters from a Self-Made Merchant to His Son” (1902), ‘June 25, 189-,’ page 48

“While we are postponing, life speeds by.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument, while the song I came to sing remains unsung.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

“You can’t get much done in life if you only work on the days when you feel good.” -Jerry Alan West (Jerome ‘Jerry’ Alan West (born 1938))

“Procrastination makes easy things hard, hard things harder.” -Mason Cooley (1927 - 2002)

“Every duty which is bidden to wait, returns with seven fresh duties at its back.” -Charles Kingsley (1819 - 1875): “Sermons for the Times” (1855)

“Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.” -Stephen King (born 1947)

“The dread of doing a task uses up more time and energy than doing the task itself.” -Rita Emmett (1943 - 2019)

“Things dreaded require double time to accomplish them.” -James Lendall Basford (1845 - 1915)

“If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.” -Ivan Turgenev (Ivan Sergeyevich Turgenev (1818 - 1883))

“Begin while others are procrastinating. Work while others are wishing.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“If you wait until all the lights are ‘green’ before you leave home, you’ll never get started on your trip to the top.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“KISS Procrastination Away: Keep It Super Simple, Keep It Step-by-Step, Keep It Scheduled and Systematic.” -Lisa A. Mininni (Lisa Ann Mininni (born 1954))

“How soon ‘not now’ becomes ‘never’.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Doing just a little bit during the time we have available puts you that much further ahead than if you took no action at all.” -Byron Pulsifer (Byron R. Pulsifer), website https://www.QuotesChristian.com

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” -Anne Frank (1929 - 1945): “The Diary of a Young Girl” (1952)

Lose This Day Loitering

Lose this day loitering - ‘twill be the same story
     To-morrow - and the next more dilatory;
Each indecision brings its own delays,
     And days are lost lamenting o’er lost days,
Are you in earnest? Seize this very minute -
     Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Only engage, and then the mind grows heated -
     Begin it, and then the work will be completed!

by Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe (1749 - 1832): “Faust,” Part 1 (1808) and Part 2 (1832)

Overheard: Some tasks have to be put off dozens of times before they will completely slip your mind.

“Things don’t get any easier by putting them off.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)): “The Razor’s Edge” (1943)

Shun delays, they breed remorse;
     Take thy time while time is lent thee;
Creeping snails have weakest force,
     Fly their fault lest thou repent thee.
Good is best when soonest wrought,
     Linger’d labours come to nought.
-Robert Southwell (1561 - 1595): “Loss in Delay”; as quoted in William B. Turnbull, editor: “The Poetical Works of the Rev. Robert Southwell” (1856)

“I’m very busy doing things I don’t need to do in order to avoid anything I’m actually supposed to be doing.” -Author Unknown

“Do you know what happens when you give a procrastinator a good idea? Nothing!” -Donald Gardner

“Waiting to develop courage is just another form of procrastination. We must take action while we’re afraid.” -Author Unknown

“A procrastinator’s work is never done.” -Author Unknown

“Getting an idea should be like sitting on a pin; it should make you jump up and do something.” -E. L. Simpson

“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.” -Thomas Draxe (birth year unknown - 1618): “Adages” (1616)

“Remember, action today can prevent a crisis tomorrow.” -Steve Shallenberger (Steven R. Shallenberger (born 1958)): “Becoming Your Best: The 12 Principles of Highly Successful Leaders” (2014)

“What is deferred is not avoided.” -Thomas More (1478 - 1535): “Utopia” (1516)

Procrastination is the thief of time:
     Year after year it steals, till all are fled,
And to the mercies of a moment leaves
     The vast concerns of an eternal scene.
-Edward Young (1683 - 1765): “Night Thoughts” (1742 - 1745), line 393

“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870))

“Procrastination is a road-block in the path of success.” -Author Unknown

“The habit of always putting off an experience until you can afford it, or until the time is right, or until you know how to do it, is one of the greatest burglars of joy. Be deliberate, but once you’ve made up your mind - jump in.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934)): “Living on the Ragged Edge” (1985), page 110

“Often greater risk is involved in postponement than in making a wrong decision.” -Harry A. Hopf (Harry Arthur Hopf (1882 - 1949))

“Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow.” -Gerald Vaughan

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955))): “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” (1948)

“I’m going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!” -Sam Levenson (Samuel ‘Sam’ Levenson (1911 - 1980))

“What may be done at any Time will be done at no Time.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 5500

“Procrastination is a teardrop in the sands of time.” -Heath Byers

“One of these days is none of these days.” -H. G. Bohn (Henry George Bohn (1796 - 1884))

“Someday is not a day of the week.” -Janet Dailey (Janet Anne Haradon Dailey (1944 - 2013))

“If you procrastinate when faced with a big, difficult problem . . . break the problem into parts, and handle one part at a time.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“It has been a productive day - I got a lot of procrastinating accomplished.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“The man who will not act until he knows all will never act at all . . .” -Jim Elliot (1927 - 1956)

“Procrastination usually results in sorrowful regret. Today’s duties put off until tomorrow give us a double burden to bear; the best way is to do them in their proper time.” -Ida Scott Taylor (Ida Scott Taylor McKinney (1855 - 1932))

“The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.” -Richard Cushing (Richard James Cushing (1895 - 1970))

“There are those of us who are always about to live. We are waiting until things change, until there is more time, until we are less tired, until we get a promotion, until we settle down - until, until, until. It always seems as if there is some major event that must occur in our lives before we begin living.” -George Sheehan (1918 - 1993)

“One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

Defer not till to-morrow to be wise,
To-morrow’s Sun to thee may never rise.
-William Congreve (1670 - 1729): “Letter to Cobham,” line 61

“Postpone not a good action.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb

“If you put off everything till you’re sure of it, you’ll never get anything done.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

All the Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
Layin’ in the Sun,
Talkin’ bout the things
They woulda-coulda-shoulda done . . .
But those Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
All ran away and hid
From one little did.
-Shel Silverstein (Sheldon Allan ‘Shel’ Silverstein (1930 - 1999)): “Falling Up” (1996)

“I don’t wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has got to get down to work.” -Pearl S. Buck (Pearl Sydenstricker Buck (1892 - 1973))

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter, who?
Butter late than never!

“Don’t put off for tomorrow what you should do today.” -Aesop: “The Grasshopper and the Ants” (about 6th century B.C.E.)

“By one delay after another they spin out their whole lives, till there’s no more future left for them.” -Roger L’Estrange (1616 - 1704)

“Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“He who hesitates is last.” -Mae West

“If you have goals and procrastination, you have nothing. If you have goals and you take action, you will have anything you want.” -Thomas J. Vilord (Thomas Joseph Vilord (born 1975))

“By the street of By-and-By, one arrives at the House of Never.” -Miguel de Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1547 - 1616)): “Don Quixote” (1605)

“A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.” -Hunter S. Thompson (Hunter Stockton Thompson (1937 - 2005)): “The Proud Highway” (1997)

“Following through is the only thing that separates dreamers from people that accomplish great things.” -Gene Hayden

“If and When were planted, and Nothing grew.” -Catherine Pulsifer (born 1927): “If and When,” website https://www.QuotesChristian.com

“There is no avoidance in delay.” -Aeschylus (about 525 B.C.E. - about 456 B.C.E.): “Agamemnon” (about 458 B.C.E.)

“Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.” -Robert Benchley (Robert Charles Benchley (1889 - 1945)): as quoted in Robert E. Drennan, editor: “The Algonquin Wits” (1968)

“If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.” -Rita Mae Brown (born 1944)

Overheard: I am just waiting to do my work at the last minute, because by then I will be older and wiser.

“Often just by taking action, by doing something about the situation, you can relieve the stress and help correct the situation.” -Catherine Pulsifer (born 1927), website https://www.QuotesChristian.com

“He who begun has half done. Dare to be wise; begin.” -Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.))

“Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“The really happy people are those who have broken the chains of procrastination, those who find satisfaction in doing the job at hand. They’re full of eagerness, zest, productivity. You can be, too.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late.” -Marie Beynon Ray (1886 - 1969)

“Let’s get started while we’re still young!” -Author Unknown: comment made by a man of seventy-five years of age

This is MFOL! . . . by choosing to make ‘someday’ into ‘today,’ we can make the future even greater than the present . . .

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Meeting and Parting

1/11/2021

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Most things in life start with hello . . .

“Be the first to say hello to others. You will have a happier day.” -Author Unknown

“A simple hello could lead to a million things.” -Author Unknown

Lucy: So, how are you today?
Anne: Just ducky!

“Why can’t we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn’t work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.” -Charles M. Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000))

‘Cheerio!’ is a way of saying at once ‘goodbye’ and ‘be of good cheer.’

Goodbyes

Goodbyes are not forever,
     Goodbyes are not the end -
They simply mean I’ll miss you,
     Until we meet again.

by Author Unknown

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howie.
Howie, who?
I’m fine. Howie you?

“Don’t be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936)): “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah” (1977), chapter 18

Matthew: How are you?
Luke: Too blessed to be stressed!

Meeting and Parting Without Physical Contact and Spoken Words Optional
- Bowing.
- Curtsying.
- Hand gesturing such as the Hippie ‘peace sign.’
- Hand waving.
- Hat tipping.
- Head nodding.
- Saluting.
Can you add to this list?

When asked how to make goodbyes less sad and scary, our first thought was, ice cream! But maybe better answers exist. Can you think of some?

“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” – Paulo Coelho

Cassidy: What did the buffalo say when his son went off to college?
Cassandra: “Bison!”

The proper response to the Irish greeting, “Top of the morning to you,” is “And the rest of the day to yourself.”

Elma: Hi, how are you?
Bert: Better and better!

It was the briefest of encounters, so I quickly said, “Hello - and goodbye!”

Elvis: How ya’ doin’?
Sonny: Feelin’ groovy!

Overheard: If you see me getting smaller, it means I’m leaving.

An Irish Blessing

May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
And the rain fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

by Author Unknown

The word ‘goodbye’ is a contraction of the Old English phrase, ‘God be by ye,’ which roughly translates to Modern English as, ‘May God be with you.’

Al: How are you, my friend?
Vin: I’m doing swimmingly!

‘So-long’ is derived from the Arabic ‘salaam’ and the Hebrew ‘shalom,’ which roughly translates to English as, ‘peace unto you.’

How are you?
- About average.
- Couldn’t be better.
- Fair to partly cloudy.
- Fit as a fiddle.
- Good.
- Just peachy
- Marvelous.
- Not bad.
- Outstanding.
- Perfect.
- Pretty good.
- Spectacular.
- Super!
So, how are you today?

Merry may we meet,
     Merry may we be together,
Merry may we part.
     And merry meet again.
-Author Unknown

Thomas Edison coined the word ‘hello’ and introduced it as a way to answer the telephone. This begs the question, what did people commonly say in greeting each other before ‘hello’ was invented?

Carpenter Bob: How are you?
Tailor Jill: Just sew-sew!

“I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, ‘I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.’ I said, ‘I am.’” -Demetri Martin (Demetri Evan Martin (born 1973))

Animal Theme Meeting Lines
- How do you do, kangaroo?
- What’s the word, mocking bird?
Can you think of others?

Jody: What do wolves say when they are introduced?
Cody: “Howl do you do?”

“The two hardest things to say in life are hello for the first time and goodbye for the last.” -Moira Rogers (pseudonym of writing team Bree Bridges and Donna Herren)

“When I feel threatened, vulnerable, or insecure, whether it is from simply walking into a room of unknown people, meeting someone for the first time, an unexpected or expected confrontation, or doing something new, I affirm in my mind (over and over): There is no danger, there is no threat. From there, the discomfort lessens and I become open for discovery and adventure.” -Charles F. Glassman (born 1959): “Brain Drain: The Breakthrough That Will Change Your Life” (2009)

“Fare thee well.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Antony and Cleopatra” (1606 - 1607), Act 4, scene 4

Fare thee well! and if forever,
Still forever, fare thee well.
-Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824)): “Fare Thee Well” (1816), stanza 1

“Good-bye is always hello to something else.” -George Ella Lyon (born 1949): “Borrowed Children” (March 1988)

The custom of shaking hands began in ancient times when strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed and had no ill intent.

“So long, and thanks for all the fish!” -Douglas Adams (Douglas Noel Adams (1952 - 2001))

“There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.” -Author Unknown

Alex: Morning glory.
Felix: Evening grace.

“Take me to your leader.” -Unidentified Space Alien: line from a science fiction movie

Good-night, good-night! parting is such sweet sorrow
That I shall say good-night till it be morrow.
-William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Romeo and Juliet” (1595), Act II, scene ii

“We only part to meet again.” -John Gay (1685 - 1732)

Animal Theme Parting Lines
- Adieu, cockatoo!
- Adios, hippos!
- After a while, crocodile!
- Be well, speedy snail!
- Better shake, rattlesnake!
- Bye-bye, butterfly!
- Can’t stay, blue jay.
- Don’t meander, salamander!
- Good wishes, jellyfishes!
- Goodbye, dragonfly!
- Goodbye, fruit fly!
- Gotta go, buffalo!
- Hasta mañana, iguana!
- Hit the road, hoppy toad!
- See you later, alligator!
- See you soon, hairy baboon!
- See you soon, raccoon!
- See you then, penguin!
- So long, King Kong!
- Stay well, gazelle!
- Take care, grizzly bear!
- Take care, polar bear!
- Ta-ta, chihuahua!
- Toodle-oo, kangaroo!
- Tout de suite, parakeet!
- Until then, little red hen!

Cool Cat: How are things?
Hot Dog: Dyn-o-mite, baby.

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” -A. A. Milne (Alan Alexander Milne (1882 - 1956)): “Winnie the Pooh” (1926)

Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves when they rode past their king. This custom has become the modern military salute.

Logic: How are you?
Reason: I exist.

“Sometimes you have to find the good in goodbye.” -Author Unknown

Anne: How are you getting along?
Gus: Fair to midlin’.

“It is generally agreed that ‘Hello’ is an appropriate greeting because if you entered a room and said ‘Goodbye,’ it could confuse a lot of people.” -Dolph Sharp (born 1914)

“All farewells should be sudden.” -Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824)): “Sardanapalus” (1821), act V

Velma: How are things in the fast-paced business world?
Wilma: I’m just about breakin’ even.

“This is not goodbye, it’s just goodnight.” -Alan Freed (1922 - 1965): signature sign-off as a radio announcer

Jean: How are you?
Gene: Everything’s copacetic!*
*copacetic (koh-puh-SET-ik), adjective: satisfactory; fine.

“Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet again in life.” -Jean Paul Richter (1763 - 1825): as attributed in “The Pulpit Treasury” (March 1884)

‘CU L8R’ is an abbreviation for ‘See you later.’

“A friend bought a new wig before going on holiday, so I got him a comb as a parting gift.” -Author Unknown

We’ll meet again,
Don’t know where, don’t know when,
But I know we’ll meet again,
Some sunny day.
-Vera Lynn

The phrase ‘long time no see’ is believed to be a literal translation of a Native American or Chinese phrase as it is not grammatically correct.

Suzette: Y’all come back real soon now, ya hear?
Angus: You mean, like, right now?
Suzette: No, like, later!
Angus: Well, then . . . how about right now, is that later enough?

“‘It is never good dwelling on good-byes,’ she said. ‘It is not the being together that it prolongs, it is the parting.’” -Elizabeth Charlotte Lucy Bibesco (also known as Princess Bibesco, Elizabeth Asquith, and Elizabeth Bibesco; born Elizabeth Charlotte Lucy Asquith (1897 - 1945))

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Willy.
Willy, who?
Willy good to see you today, my friend!

What does it mean to ‘always leave on a high note’? It means to always leave people wanting more by saying uplifting or humorous words when you are on the way out.

“To all, to each, a fair good-night, and pleasing dreams, and slumbers light.” -Walter Scott (1771 - 1832)

Smokey Bear: See ya later!
Woodsy Owl: Owl be seeing you!

‘Håfa adai’ (pronounced approximately like ‘half a day’ but leaving out the ‘l’ sound in ‘half’) is an expression for ‘hello’ in the native Chamorro language of the island of Guam and the Northern Marianas, both of which are in the Mariana islands chain. The literal translation is ‘what friend’ and the expression is sometimes informally shortened to just ‘håfa.’

Is sticking out your tongue an acceptable way to greet people or to say goodbye to people?

‘Ciao’ (pronounced as ‘chow’) is an Italian expression that can be said to people both at meeting and at parting.

Similarly, the word ‘aloha’ (pronounced as ‘uh-loh-uh or ‘ah-loh-hah’) is Hawaiian for both ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye.’

Roseanne: How are you?
Marianne: I’m doing my best!

Overheard: I like smiling and waving at random strangers, because then they will spend the rest of the day trying to figure out who the mysterious person was that waved at them.

May your hellos outnumber your goodbyes as you continue on your journey . . . and may you never forget to ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ . . .

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Minimalism and Extravagance

1/7/2021

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Between the minimalistic one-eyed smiley face and the extravagant three-eyed smiley face, we find the just-right two-eyed smiley face . . .

“Simple pleasures are life’s greatest treasures.” -Author Unknown

“Never make anything simple and efficient when it can be complex and wonderful.” -Author Unknown

“Some people want a big house, a fast car, and lots of money. Some people want a tiny cabin in the woods away from those kinds of people.” -Author Unknown

“There is no need to have it all, just make the best of what you have.” -Author Unknown

“Less is more.” -Robert Browning (1812 - 1889): “Men and Women” (1855), ‘Andrea del Sarto’; quotation often misattributed to Ludwig Mies van der Rohe (born Maria Ludwig Michael Mies (1886 - 1969)) and others

“Less is a bore.” -Robert Venturi

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” -Will Rogers (William Penn Adair ‘Will’ Rogers (1879 - 1935))

“There is one advantage to having nothing, it never needs repair.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))

“Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.” -Charles Dudley Warner (1829 - 1900)

“Seek simplicity and distrust it.” -Alfred Whitehead (Alfred North Whitehead (1861 - 1947))

“It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease. Hack away at the inessentials.” -Bruce Lee (pseudonym of Lee Jun Fan (1940 - 1973))

“You never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough.” -William Blake (1757 - 1827): “The Marriage of Heaven and Hell” (1790 - 1793), ‘Proverbs of Hell’

“To simplify complications is the first essential of success.” -George Earle Buckle

“All the good things of the world are no further good to us than they are of use; and of all we may heap up we enjoy only as much as we can use, and no more.” -Daniel Defoe (born Daniel Foe (1659 - 1731))

“We can never have enough of that which we really do not want.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)

“Anything simple always interests me.” -David Hockney

“Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“The greatest wealth is to live content with little, for there is never want where the mind is satisfied.” -Lucretius (Titus Lucretius Carus (about 99 B.C.E. - about 55 B.C.E.))

“Life is beautiful in its simplicity.” -Thomas Matthiessen

“We go on multiplying our conveniences only to multiply our cares. We increase our possessions only to the enlargement of our anxieties.” -Anna C. Brackett (born 1836)

“Out of intense complexities intense simplicities emerge.” -Author Unknown

“Any half-awake materialist well knows - that which you hold, holds you.” -Tom Robbins (Thomas Eugene ‘Tom’ Robbins (born 1932)): “Still Life with Woodpecker” (1980)

“Details are all there are.” -Maezumi Roshi

“I like to go to Marshall Field’s in Chicago just to see how many things there are in the world that I do not want.” -Mother Mary Madeleva: “My First Seventy Years” (1959)

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” -Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 17): “The Meditations” (C.E. 167), Book VII, 67

“A lean horse runs a long race.” -Edgar Barzellai Howell

“The things you really need are few and easy to come by; but the things you can imagine you need are infinite, and you will never be satisfied.” -Epicurus (341 B.C.E. - 270 B.C.E.)

“Anything can be made to appear simple just by refusing to see the complexities.” -Author Unknown

“The less you possess, the freer you are.” -Author Unknown

“The trouble with simple living is that, though it can be joyful, rich, and creative, it isn’t simple.” -Doris Janzen Longacre (born 1940)

“You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need.” -Vernon Howard (born 1918)

“A little is as much as a lot, if it is enough.” -Steve Brown

“Truly, whoever possesses little is that much less possessed: praised be a little poverty!” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900): “Thus Spoke Zarathustra” (1885)

“I like to walk about amidst the beautiful things that adorn the world; but private wealth I should decline, or any sort of personal possessions, because they would take away my liberty.” -George Santayana (Jorge Agustín Nicolás Ruiz de Santayana y Borrás (1863 - 1952)): “Soliloquies in England and Later Soliloquies” (1922), ‘The Irony of Liberalism’

Overheard: I can’t get enough minimalism.

“Beware of the man who won’t be bothered with details.” -William A. Feather (William Arthur Feather (1889 - 1981))

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” -Leonardo Da Vinci (1452 - 1519)

“I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them.” -John Stuart Mill (1806 - 1873)

“There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936))

“Every increased possession loads us with a new weariness.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“You never know what you can do without until you try.” -Franklin Pierce Adams (1881 - 1960): as quoted in Louis E. Boone, editor: “Quotable Business” (1992)

“That state of life is most happy where superfluities are not required and necessities are not wanting.” -Plutarch (C.E. 46 - C.E. 120))

“Simplicity involves unburdening your life, and living more lightly with fewer distractions that interfere with a high quality life, as defined uniquely by each individual.” -Linda Breen Pierce (born 1947)

“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction.” -E. F. Schumacher (Ernst Friedrich ‘Fritz’ Schumacher (1911 - 1977))

“Contentment comes not so much from great wealth as from few wants.” -Epictetus (about C.E. 55 - C.E. 135)

“It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.” -Lucius Annaeus Seneca (also known as Seneca the Younger or simply as Seneca (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“Simplicity is a great virtue but it requires hard work to achieve it and education to appreciate it.” -Edsger W. Dijkstra (Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (1930 - 2002)): “On the Nature of Computing Science” (1984)

“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1900 - 1944)

“The road to minimalism: Give away one thing each day, whether it’s a paperclip or an article of clothing, until you have reached an amount of possessions you need to function in life, and then stop because there’s no sense in also giving away what you need in order to live a life and to function in society.” -Author Unknown

“To get more out of life, start by eliminating everything that is nonessential.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“The consumption society has made us feel that happiness lies in having things, and has failed to teach us the happiness of not having things.” -Elise Boulding (born 1920)

“If one’s life is simple, contentment has to come. Simplicity is extremely important for happiness. Having few desires, feeling satisfied with what you have, is very vital: satisfaction with just enough food, clothing, and shelter to protect yourself from the elements.” -14th Dalai Lama (Tenzin Gyatso (born 1935 as Lhamo Thondup))

“Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves.” -Edwin Way Teale (born 1899)

“The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.” -Lin Yutang (1895 - 1976)

“Simplicity is an acquired taste. Mankind, left free, instinctively complicates life.” -Katharine Fullerton Gerould (born 1879)

“Nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little.” -Epicurus (341 B.C.E. - 270 B.C.E.)

“Who lives content with little possesses everything.” -Boileau

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” -Confucius (a fifteenth-century Portuguese Jesuit scholars’ rendering of the Chinese name K’ung Fu-tzu or K’ung Ch’iu into Classical Latin (English: Master K’ung) (about 551 B.C.E. - about 479 B.C.E.))

“Fools ignore complexity. Pragmatists suffer it. Some can avoid it. Geniuses remove it.” -Alan Perlis

“It is preoccupation with possession, more than anything else, that prevents men from living freely and nobly.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

“There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910))

“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.” -Socrates (470 B.C.E. - 399 B.C.E.)

“The great artist is the simplifier.” -Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821 - 1881)

“It is the heart that makes a man rich. He is rich according to what he is, not according to what he has.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887)

“If it doesn’t add to your life, it doesn’t belong in your life.” -Author Unknown

“Purity and simplicity are the two wings with which man soars above the Earth and all temporary nature.” -Thomas à Kempis (1380 - 1471)

“Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” -Lao Tzu (about 604 B.C.E. - about 531 B.C.E.)

“To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

“My riches consist, not in the extent of my possessions, but in the fewness of my wants.” -Joseph Brotherton (born 1783)

“If your mind isn’t clouded by unnecessary things, then this is the best season of your life.” -Wumen Huikai (also known as Wu-Men (C.E. 1183 - C.E. 1260))

“I have everything, yet have nothing; and although I possess nothing, still of nothing am I in want.” -Publius Terentius Afer (also known as Terence (185 B.C.E. - 159 B.C.E.))

“Everything is simpler than you think and at the same time more complex than you can imagine.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“All the books extolling the simple life are written by men.” -William A. Feather (William Arthur Feather (1889 - 1981))

“The awkward richness of possibilities seems to shatter any possible coherent theory of simplicity.” -Slobkin

“Only great minds can afford a simple style.” -Stendhal (Marie-Henri Beyle (1783 - 1842))

“Simplicity is the most difficult thing to secure in this world; it is the last limit experience and the last effort of genius.” -George Sand (born 1804)

“Simplicity is the key to brilliance.” -Bruce Lee (pseudonym of Lee Jun Fan (1940 - 1973))

“You uncover what is when you get rid of what isn’t.” - R. Buckminster Fuller

“The man who has begun to live more seriously within begins to live more simply without.” -Ernest Hemingway (Ernest Miller Hemingway (1899 - 1961)): as quoted in Laurence J. Peter: “The Peter Pyramid”

“All that is complex is useless and all that is useful is simple.” -Author Unknown

“Genius is the ability to reduce the complicated to the simple.” -C. W. Ceran

“With a few flowers in my garden, half a dozen pictures and some books, I live without envy.” -Lope de Vega (born 1562)

“The simplest things are often the truest.” -Richard Bach (born 1936)

“The intention of voluntary simplicity is not to dogmatically live with less. It’s a more demanding intention of living with balance. This is a middle way that moves between the extremes of poverty and indulgence.” -Duane Elgin (born 1937)

This is MFOL! . . . a website so simple that even adults can figure it out . . .

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Riddles and Puzzles

12/31/2020

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Riddle: What do you get if you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a terrier?
Solution: A hot-diggity-dog!

Riddle: What asks no question but demands an answer?
Solution: A telephone.

Riddle: What do cars, trees, and elephants all have in common?
Solution: They all have trunks.

Do you enjoy riddles and puzzles? Well, then, you have come to the right place. We think you will have a lot of fun pondering these mini-mysteries.

Riddle: What can you hold without touching?
Solution: Your breath.

Riddle: What do you get if you cross a cat and a parrot?
Solution: A carrot.

Riddles are of two types.
- Enigmas, which are problems generally expressed in metaphorical or allegorical languages, and which require ingenuity and careful thinking for their solution.
- Conundrums, which are questions relying for their effects on punning in either the question or in the answer.

Riddle: What is brown and sticky?
Solution: A stick.

Riddle: What can you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?
Solution: A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush.

Puzzles are games, toys, or problems designed to test skill, ingenuity, or knowledge. Examples of puzzles are crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, and mazes.

Riddle: What do you get if you cross a porcupine with a sheep?
Solution: An animal that knits its own sweaters.

Riddle: I follow you everywhere you go. Who am I?
Solution: I am your shadow.

English journalist Arthur Wayne is credited with being the inventor of the modern crossword. The diamond-shaped puzzle appeared in the “New York World” newspaper on 21 December 1913.

Crossword Compiler

A crossword compiler named Moss,
Who found himself quite at a loss,
     When asked, “Why so blue?”
     Said, “I haven’t a clue -
I’m 2 Down to put 1 Across.”

by Author Unknown

When the first book of crossword puzzles was published, the creator received $500 down and $300 across.

Riddle: What flies without wings?
Solution: Time.

Riddle: What is better than the best thing and worse than the worst thing?
Solution: Nothing.

Riddle: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
Solution: Kittens.

Riddle: What has two arms, two wings, two tails, three heads, three bodies, and eight legs?
Solution: A man on a horse holding a chicken.

Riddle: Why are lost items always in the last place you look?
Solution: Because when you find them, you stop looking.

Riddle: Your mother’s brother’s only brother-in-law is building a rowboat. Who is building a rowboat?
Solution: Your father.

Riddle: What has a man’s name, is as small as a mouse, and wears a red vest?
Solution: A robin.

Ed: Pete and Repeat were sitting on a log and Pete fell off - who was left?
Fred: Repeat.
Ed: Pete and Repeat were sitting on a log and Pete fell off - who was left?
Fred: Repeat.
Ed: Pete and Repeat . . .

Riddle: What belongs to you but is used more often by others?
Solution: Your name.

Riddle: Which is faster, heat or cold?
Solution: Heat, because people can catch a cold.

Riddle: What goes up and down without moving?
Solution: Stairs.

Riddle:
Proprietors of an ice cream shop want to host a giveaway day to boost business. To avoid large crowds, however, they do not want to advertise the free ice cream cone day broadly. Instead, they post three clues as to the date.
1. The giveaway will be in the first week of a month without an ‘a’ in it.
2. It will be on a day of the week that has a ‘u’ in it.
3. The month has no ‘e’ but the day of the week has an ‘e.’
Can you figure out when to go for a free cone?
Solution:
The first Tuesday in July is free ice cream day.

Riddle: I have a face and two hands; what am I?
Solution: A clock.

Riddle: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
Solution: One has claws at the end of its paws, and one is a pause at the end of a clause.

Riddle: What is so fragile that it can be broken just by the sound of someone speaking?
Solution: Silence.

Riddle: What does the following tell you about Calvin?
○ Appreciated
○ Calvin
○ Weight
Solution: Calvin is ‘underappreciated’ and ‘overweight.’

Riddle: What five-letter word becomes shorter when two letters are added to it?
Solution: Short.

Riddle: Joe was asked how many ducks he had seen. He answered, “As they ran along a path, I saw one duck in front of two ducks, a duck behind two ducks, and a duck between two ducks.” How many ducks did Joe see?
Solution: Joe saw three ducks, running along a path in single file.

Riddle: If you take away the whole, some still remains - what is it?
Solution: Wholesome.

Riddle: What can you not keep until you have given it?
Solution: Your word.

Riddle: How can you arrange for two people to stand on the same piece of newspaper and yet be unable to touch each other without stepping off the newspaper?
Solution: Slide the newspaper half way under a closed door and ask the two people to stand on the part of the newspaper on their side of the door.

Riddle: Forward I am heavy, but backward I am not. What am I?
Solution: Forward I am ‘ton,’ backwards I am ‘not.’

Riddle: What question can someone ask all day long, always get completely different answers, and yet all the answers could be correct?
Solution: “What time is it?”

Riddle: David’s father has three sons; two of them are John and William; what is the name of David’s father’s third son?
Solution: David.

Riddle: What can swallow you if you do not swallow it first?
Solution: Pride.

Riddle: What gets bigger the more you take away?
Solution: A hole.

Riddle: Two legs sat upon four legs eating one leg. In came four legs - and out went four legs with one leg. Close behind was two legs, without one leg, shaking four legs at four legs.
Solution: A person sat on a chair eating a chicken leg. In comes a dog - and out it went with the chicken leg. Close behind was the person, without the chicken leg, shaking the chair at the dog.

Riddle: I run around but never race, my hands are always on my face, I cannot count very many numbers, you hit me and I let you slumber - what am I?
Solution: An alarm clock.

Riddle: What stays hot even if you put it in the refrigerator?
Solution: Pepper.

Riddle: What part of you disappears when you stand up?
Solution: Your lap.

Riddle: Name three things that have eyes but that cannot see.
Solution: Sewing needles, storms, and potatoes.

Riddle: What has no fingers, but many rings?
Solution: A tree.

Riddle: What has one eye but cannot see?
Solution: A needle.

Riddle: Four legs sat on four legs waiting for four legs to come out of its hole.
Solution: A cat sat on a chair waiting for a mouse to come out of its hole.

Riddle: What is white when it is dirty and black when it is clean?
Solution: A chalkboard (blackboard).

On a shopping trip with a credit card loaned to him by a foreigner, a politician bought a 24-piece jigsaw puzzle. He worked on it every evening for two weeks. Finally, the puzzle was finished. “Look at what I’ve done, Jim,” he said proudly to a campaign staffer. “That’s surely something, Joseph. How long did it take you to finish it?” “Only two weeks.” “Never done a puzzle myself,” Jim said. “Is two weeks fast?” “You bet,” Joseph said. “Look at the box. It says, ‘From two to four years.’”

Riddle: What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
Solution: They both live underground, apart from the eagle.

Riddle: I work only after I have been fired. Who am I?
Solution: I am a rocket.

Riddle: Why did Beethoven not finish the “Unfinished Symphony”?
Solution: Because the Unfinished Symphony was started by Schubert, not Beethoven.

Riddle: What room is never entered?
Solution: A mushroom.

Riddle: What never was and never will be?
Solution: A mouse’s nest in a cat’s ear.

Riddle: A man built a house with all four sides facing south. A bear walked past the house. What color is the bear?
Solution: The bear is a white polar bear, and the house is at the North Pole.

Riddle: What is the first thing you know?
Solution: “The first thing you know, Old Jed’s a millionaire. The kin folks said, ‘Jed, move away from there!’”

Riddle: What is the biggest room in the world?
Solution: Room for improvement.

Polly: What is the difference between ‘ignorance’ and ‘apathy?’
Esther: ‘I do not know,’ and ‘I do not care’!
Polly: You answered correctly!

Riddle: What do you find in the middle of nowhere?
Solution: The letter ‘h.’

Riddle: What did the eye say to the ear?
Solution: Do you hear what I see, hear what I see, hear what I see?

“Do I rue a life wasted doing crosswords? No, but I do know the three-letter-word for regret.” -Robert Brault

Riddle: What is easy to get into but hard to get out of?
Solution: Trouble.

Riddle: The more you take, the more you leave behind - what is it?
Solution: Footsteps.

Riddle: If a north-facing rooster was sitting at the point of the roof of a building on the Earth’s equator at exactly 12:00 noon, and laid an egg, which side of the roof would the egg roll down?
Solution: Roosters do not lay eggs, you silly goose - hens lay eggs!

“If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog? Five? No - calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.” -Abraham Lincoln

Riddle: What is the difference between an onion and an oboe?
Solution: Nobody cries when you chop up an oboe.

Riddle: If leather makes good shoes, what do banana skins make?
Solution: Good slippers!

Puzzle Poem

When it’s boring
     Because of rainy weather
Nothing’s so fun as
     Putting a puzzle together.

by Author Unknown

Riddle: What has four legs and feathers?
Solution: A featherbed.

Riddle: Brian’s mom has four children. The first was a boy named Jerry. The second was a girl named Susan. The third was a boy called Robert, and the fourth was another boy. What was his name?
Solution: Brian.

Riddle: What has four legs but no feet?
Solution: A table.

Jigsaw Puzzle fans are called ‘dissectologists’ and have a society called the Benevolent Confraternity of Dissectologists.

Riddle: What has to be broken before it can be used?
Solution: An egg.

Math Problem: $21 in one-dollar bills is split evenly among two fathers and two sons. How is this possible?
Solution: There are only three people: a grandfather, a father, and the father’s son, who each receive $7.

Riddle: What has six legs, four eyes, and five ears?
Solution: A man sitting on a horse eating an ear of corn.

Riddle: What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?
Solution: A dressmaker sews what she gathers, and a farmer gathers what he sows.

“The nice thing about doing a crossword puzzle is, you know there is a solution.” -Stephen Sondheim

In 2008, 15,000 enthusiasts took five hours to assemble the world’s largest puzzle, in Ravensburg, Germany. It had 1,141,800 pieces and measured 65 feet by 98 feet.

Riddle: What has no beginning or end or middle, and touches every continent?
Solution: The ocean.

Riddle: How can you tell when an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
Solution: By the footprints in the butter.

This is MFOL! . . . most puzzling indeed . . .

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Stress and Anxiety

12/28/2020

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“Stress does nothing but change reality into a big bad wolf while making us feel like little piggies.” -Author Unknown

“Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.” -Lily Tomlin (born 1939)

“There are two times when I feel stress - day and night.” -Author Unknown

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” -Lou Holtz (Louis Leo ‘Lou’ Holtz (born 1937))

“In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.” -Lee Iacocca

“Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.” -Walter Anderson (born 1944)

Stress can cause headaches, as the body reacts by rerouting blood flow to other parts of the body, in preparation for survival through the instinctive fight or flight mechanism.

“If you feel like you’re losing everything, remember trees lose their leaves every year, and they stand tall and wait for better days to come.” -Author Unknown

Recognize Stressors
- Chaotic surroundings and disruptive people.
- Noises, particularly startling and alarming noises.
- Vibrations or swaying from under our feet or objects such as machinery.
- Lights that are too bright, too dim, flickering, flashing, or unnaturally colored.
- Smells, including offensive odors and air pollutants.
- Constant dealings with strange, hostile, or abnormal people.
- Lack of familiar and comfortable stimuli, particularly that found in nature, in friendship, in a good home, and in a good work environment.
- Having no place to ‘get away from it all’ in order to de-stress.
- Having no plans or workable ideas for dealing with difficult circumstances and difficult people.
- Being mistreated by people, as for example, being bullied, being lied to, being lied about, being blamed, or being ridiculed.
- Maladaptive methods for attempting to deal with stress can create additional stress, as for example, overeating, withdrawing from all human contact, or turning to electronic devices for comfort.
Can you think of other stressors that should go into this list?

“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.” -Lily Tomlin (born 1939)

Chronic stress floods the brain with powerful hormones that are meant for short-term emergency situations. However, chronic exposure is also believed to damage, shrink, and rapidly age brain cells.

“Anxiety is the rust of life, destroying its brightness and weakening its power. A childlike and abiding trust in Providence is its best preventive and remedy.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 22

During stress, eye pupils dilate, which is referred to as ‘mydriasis,’ to gather more visual information about a situation. This is one of the many automatic, or instinctual, actions built into us to ensure survival.

“If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine.” -Morris West

The word ‘stress’ was originally an engineering term. It was adopted for use as a medical term by a scientist named Hans Selye. Mr. Selye found that lab rats became sulky and sickly when he upset them by trying to catch them by snatching at them and cornering them. This activity broke down their resistance to ailments. Because no medical term for this phenomenon existed in the 1930’s, he used the word ‘stress’ to describe it.

The word ‘stress’ is derived from the Latin word ‘stringere’ meaning ‘to draw tight.’

“The bow too tensely strung is easily broken.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): as attributed in Darius Lyman: “The Moral Sayings of Publius Syrus, a Roman Slave: from the Latin” (1856): “Sententiae,” Maxim 388

“You will soon break the bow if you keep it always stretched.” -Gaius Julius Phaedrus

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

While it is not true that stress turns hair gray, stress can cause hair loss. Telogen effluvium, the medical term for hair loss, can begin up to three months after a stressful event.

“Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes. Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day, you’re doing just fine.” -Charlotte Eriksson

“Nothing in human affairs is worth any great anxiety.” -Plato (about 427 B.C.E. - about 347 B.C.E.))

“Stress-Buster Tip: Do yourself a favor. Overlook at least two things today.” -M. J. Ryan

“If I knew what I was so anxious about, I wouldn’t be so anxious.” -Mignon McLaughlin (1913 - 1983)

The hyper-arousal of the body’s stress response system can lead to chronic insomnia.

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” -Sydney J. Harris (Sydney Justin Harris (1917 - 1986))

“I am pretty much 3 percent human and 97 percent stress.” -Author Unknown

“Anxiety is the interest paid on trouble before it is due.” -William R. Inge (William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954))

“The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.” -Thomas Paine

“When we are distressed, going outside for some fresh air, taking a walk in the park, or wandering deep into the woods quickens our attention, bringing us instantly into the present. Being outdoors provides mental space and clarity, allowing our bodies to relax and our hearts to feel more at ease. Putting ourselves in the midst of something greater than our personal dramas, difficulties and pain - as we do when we walk in the open plains, hike in rarefied mountain air, or ramble on an empty beach - can give us a sense of space and openness, lifting us out of our narrow selves. Similarly, gazing up at the vast night sky helps us see our problems and concerns with greater context and perspective. The natural world communicates its profound message: things are okay as they are; you are okay just as you are; simply relax and be present.” -Mark Coleman: “Awake in the Wild” (1 November 2006), page xv

“Forget the times of your distress, but never forget what they taught you.” -Herbert Gasser

“I read some article, which said that the symptoms of stress are impulse buying, eating too much, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That’s what I call a perfect day.” -Author Unknown

“You have probably heard of ‘contagious’ or ‘infectious’ smiles. There is a reason for this - when you smile, it tends to make others around you smile. Even in the most stressful times, a roomful of smiles can brighten everybody’s mood.” -Author Unknown

“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.” -Thich Nhat Hanh (born 1926)

“It is an experiment worth trying to be alone and to be quiet for a brief period every day. Under city conditions it may be difficult to carry out but most of us could do it if we tried. At any rate we should moderate the pace at which we are living. If we remain at high gear, at top pressure, we are bound to suffer from fatigue and strain.” -Robert J. McCracken

“Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.” -Walter Anderson (born 1944)

“The better work men do is always done under stress and at great personal cost.” -William Carlos Williams

“Nothing is more destined to create deep-seated anxieties in people than the false assumption that life should be free from anxieties.” -Fulton J. Sheen (Fulton John Sheen (1895 - 1979)

“Being on the tightrope is living. Everything else is just waiting.” -Karl Wallenda

“Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they’ve started.” -David Allen

“Never hurry; take plenty of exercise; always be cheerful, and take all the sleep you need and you may expect to be well.” -James F. Clarke

“Working towards your goals should be fun. Don’t get stressed because you don’t see results fast, enjoy the ride, because that’s where experience, knowledge, and value reside. If you are moving forward, it means you are already succeeding, so relax and cherish every moment. You will do more if you think it is fun; acknowledge that you are growing every step of the way. Remember that, whatever happens, it is worth it, because you are becoming a much better, more experienced, and more mature individual. There is nothing more rewarding than making your dreams come true and living the life of your dreams, thus, get going and never look back!” -John Hersey

“Without stress there is no growth.” -Author Unknown

“Sometimes the most urgent and vital thing you can do is take a complete rest.” -Author Unknown

“Help someone in distress and you lighten your own burden; the very joy of alleviating the sorrow of another is the lessening of one’s own.” -Fulton John Sheen (1895 - 1979): “On Being Human” (1982)

“Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.” -C. H. Spurgeon (Charles Haddon Spurgeon (1834 - 1892))

And when things start to happen,
Don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along.
You’ll start happening too.
-Dr. Seuss: “Oh, The Places You Will Go” (1990)

“Just because we’re in a stressful situation, doesn’t mean that we have to get stressed out. You may be in storm. The key is, don’t let the storm get in you.” -Joel Osteen

“Storms don’t last forever.” -Author Unknown

“Outer chaos, inner peace . . . all is well.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Even the darkest night will end and the Sun will rise.” -Victor Hugo: “Les Misérables” (1862)

Do you need an antidote to stress and anxiety? Laughing strengthens the immune system by releasing health-enhancing hormones such as cortisol, epinephrine, and adrenaline, which can lower stress.

“Don’t stress, just do your best.” -Author Unknown

When feeling overwhelmed, simply S.T.O.P.
Stop, or momentarily pause in whatever you are doing.
Take a slow, deep breath.
Observe your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations.
Proceed with a one-simple-thing focus.
-Author Unknown

Bad stress is believed to make people physically sick from its resulting headaches, muscle fatigue, lowered immune system response, and increased susceptibility to infections and diseases. Bad stress is believed to make people mentally sick from its resulting anxiety, worry, depression, and troubled thoughts. Stress is believed to degrade our entire systems. We become like trapped animals - trapped in circumstances by bad stress, we instinctively try every means to escape, and finding none, we wear ourselves down and tire ourselves out, exhausting ourselves and yet failing to recognize that it is the bad stress that is harming our bodies and minds.

How to Stress Less

1. Focus on what you can control.
2. Go for a walk.
3. Make something.
4. Talk to friends and family.
5. Breath.
6. Look for new opportunities.
7. Exercise.
8. Treat yourself.
9. Daydream.
10. Change your daily routine.
11. Go to bed earlier.
12. Smile more often.

by Author Unknown

“Stressed spelled backwards is desserts.” -Loretta Laroche

Did you know that stress can make you fatter? Stress can make losing weight and maintaining the right weight much harder. Why? Because when we are stressed, we instinctively eat more foods and foods high in calories in order to build up our energy, including our energy reserves that are stored as body fat, to be prepared for action. Unfortunately, these days there isn’t much action of the sort we were programmed for long ago, such as running from animals that want to eat us, or running to catch animals we want to eat. But there is good news! Laughing actually reduces stress, so get out there and do some serious laughing. Laughing allows people to live well and be healthier by handling stress better.

“In stressful times it’s okay to not be perfect. It’s okay to cut yourself some slack. Because right now, you might not be your best self. But you are growing, and you are trying your best, and that is good enough.” -Ashley Hetherington

This is MFOL! . . . where you can briefly withdraw from the deeply troubled world and the problems it imposes on your otherwise wonderful life . . .

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Questions and Queries

12/22/2020

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How can I get people to like me?

If you were to be trapped in a television show forever, which show would you choose?

Aren’t you just the cutest thing?

If you were a robot but did not know it, would you want people to tell you?

Where did you get that big, beautiful smile?

How can you know what you think until you speak so that you can hear what you have to say?

“It’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

If you were on the second floor of a three-story building, would you be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?

Would you tell me a true thing?

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

“I have become a question to myself.” [translation to English]
“Mihi quaestio factus sum.” [original Latin]
-Augustine of Hippo (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430): “Confessions” (about 397), X, 33

If we can make semi-conductors, can you just imagine what we could do if we made complete conductors?

What is the speed of dark?

Do you realize just how many holes there could be in the ground if people would just take the time to get a shovel and dig the dirt out of them?

What could possibly go wrong?

Why do British people not sound British when they sing?

Should Friday the 13th be made into a holiday?

If a chameleon was placed in a mirrored box, what color would it be - clear?

Why do we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

Why is it that when you walk up the stairs and you get to the top, you always think there is still one more step?

Is there a butterscotch flavored soft drink?

Everyone says it’s just Jim Dandy . . . but who is this Jim Dandy feller?

Is there something else you should be doing right now?

Does it seem that some people specialize in turning positives into negatives?

What did moths congregate around before campfires, torches, and light bulbs were invented?

Does killing time damage eternity?

Can we spell creativity any way we want to?

How old were you when you were born?

Why is a square meal served on a round plate?

If you could have picked your own name, what would it be?

What do penguins wear for play clothes?

Have you noticed that since everyone has a digital camera or a cell phone with a built-in camera these days, no one talks about seeing UFO’s and monsters and ghosts like they used to?

Who wants to go outside and play?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

If you joined the circus, what kind of performer would you want to be?

What do you think is the right age for marriage and why?

“You’ve got to ask! Asking is, in my opinion, the world’s most powerful - and neglected - secret to success and happiness.” -Percy Ross

Who is the funniest person in the world?

What things do you always carry with you in your pocket, purse, or wallet?

What just happened?

Whether you need the answer to a serious question or a silly question, call 1-334-844-4244 to reach the Foy Information Line at Auburn University in Auburn, Alabama, United States of America. The service is staffed by students, who try to answer questions on any subject, and is available during the school year, 24 hours a day Monday through Thursday and until 9:00 p.m. Friday through Sunday. Be sure to tell them you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Since there is a speed of light and a speed of sound, is there a speed of smell and a speed of taste?

What’s next?

Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?

Are we ever going to make it up this hill?

An average four-year-old child asks 437 questions a day. Have you asked even one question today?

Do you have all of your ducks in a row?

“Why do people park in driveways and drive on parkways?” -Larry Anderson

What are male ballerinas called?

“He who asks a question may be a fool for five minutes, but he who never asks a question remains a fool forever.” -Tom J. Connelly

What would love do now?

How many days are in a light year?

Do some people have a condition that makes it difficult for them to remember the good things that happen and easy to remember the bad things that happen?

Are adults just older children?

Can you name something that is not weird, odd, or unusual?

Why are highways built so close to the ground?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alex?
Alex, who?
Alex the questions around here!

Why hasn’t someone invented a bed that makes itself yet?

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

Question Everything.

Why do people go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?

Teacher: What if this was not a rhetorical question?
Student: What if this was not a hypothetical situation?

What do you like to do for fun?

A year from now, what will you wish you had done today?

“The word ‘question’ originates from the Latin root ‘quaestio’ meaning ‘to seek.’ Inside the word ‘question’ is the word ‘quest,’ suggesting that within every question is an adventure, a pursuit which can lead us to hidden treasure.” -Tom Wujec: “Five Star Mind” (1995)

“Since we have kneecaps, why do we not have elbowcaps to protect our funny bones?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If not you, who? If not now, when?” -Garry Herbert

How fast do you have to go to keep up with the Sun so that you are never in darkness?

“There are no foolish questions and no man becomes a fool until he has stopped asking questions.” -Charles Steinmetz (Charles Proteus Steinmetz (1865 - 1923))

If you could be any kind of animal, what would you want to be and why?

What is keeping you from doing the things you need to do?

Are there legitimate ways to earn money online?

“Asking silly questions now is better than correcting serious mistakes later.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Why is there one in every crowd?

If life is so wonderful and exciting and full of interesting people and places and things, then why are we all by ourselves looking at the screens of our electronic devices?

Why is France so far away?

At the end of the day, are you better off than you were at the start of the day?

Who has been the biggest influence on your life?

Why do we believe everything we see on the internet but question what The Bible says?

What is your favorite work of art?

Which is a sign of higher intelligence, asking questions, or not asking questions?

Sales Person: Be sure to ask me if you have any questions.
Customer: Sure thing . . . so do I have any questions?

“There are no foolish questions, only foolish silence.” -Author Unknown

What kind of place is this?

Which do you like more: scary movies, romantic movies, or comedy movies?

Why does this keep happening?

“Bromidic though it may sound, some questions don’t have answers, which is a terribly difficult lesson to learn.” -Katharine Graham (1917 - 2001)

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

What is the best advice you ever received?

“Ask the experienced rather than the learned.” -Author Unknown

Would you rather go shopping or sightseeing, and why?

If a thousand seagulls were in an airplane while it was flying, with each bird weighing two pounds, and all of them flying around inside the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2,000 pounds more?

Do you play a musical instrument?

If you could go back in time and speak to your younger self, what age would you choose and what would you say?

Why do we say an alarm is going off when it is actually turning on?

Would we all be better off if we refused to accept anything that was offered to us for free?

What is your favorite song?

If the Universe is expanding, why are parking spaces still so hard to find?

“If water had a flavor, what color would it sound like?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

What do you think is beyond the stars?

Wow, those were some challenging and difficult questions! Fortunately, the topic that follows below this one on MFOL! is much easier . . .

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Inquisitiveness and Curiosity

12/16/2020

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“Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness.” -Bryant McGill (born 1969)

“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” -Carl Edward Sagan (1934 - 1996)

“I would rather live in a world where life is surrounded by mystery, than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969): “Riverside Sermons” (1958)

Inquisitive Lad

There once was a boy of Bagdad,
An inquisitive sort of a lad.
He said, “I will see
If a sting has a bee.”
And he very soon found that it had!

by Author Unknown

“A good scientist is a person in whom the childhood quality of perennial curiosity lingers on. Once he gets an answer, he has other questions.” -Frederick Seitz (1911 - 2008)

Patrice: You’re a real curiosity - did you know that?
Shaun: Well, thank you, though I doubt if you shall ever solve me.

“The Quest Quotient has always interested me more than the Intelligence Quotient.” -Eugene S. Wilson (Eugene Smith ‘Bill’ Wilson, Junior (1905 - 1981)): as quoted in “Reader’s Digest” (April 1968)

“Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.” -James Stephens (1880 - 1950)

“Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton asked why.” -Bernard Baruch (1870 - 1965)

“Be curious always! For knowledge will not acquire you; you must acquire it.” -Sudie Back (Sudie Elizabeth Back Sattler (born 1973))

“I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“A generous and elevated mind is distinguished by nothing more certainly than an eminent degree of curiosity.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“She sat down in a weed patch, her elbows on her knees, and kept her eyes on the small mysterious world of the ground. In the shade and sun of grass blade forests, small living things had their metropolis.” -Nancy Price

“Leave no stone unturned.” -Euripides (484 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says: ‘Leave no stone unturned.’” -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)

“The true delight is in the finding out rather than in the knowing.” -Isaac Asimov (1919 - 1992)

“Look and you will find it - what is unsought will go undetected.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“Curiosity is a willing, a proud, an eager confession of ignorance.” -S. Leonard Rubinstein (Samuel Leonard Rubinstein (1922 - 2013)): “Writing: A Habit of Mind” (1972)

“Be aware of wonder. And then remember the, “Dick and Jane,” books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - look.” -Robert Fulghum (Robert Lee Fulghum (born 1937))

“Not to know is bad; not to wish to know is worse.” -Author Unknown

“Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (12 March 1751)

“There are two sorts of curiosity - the momentary and the permanent. The momentary is concerned with the odd appearance on the surface of things. The permanent is attracted by the amazing and consecutive life that flows on beneath the surface of things.” -Robert Lynd (Robert Wilson Lynd (1879 - 1949))

“Curiosity is the one thing invincible in nature.” -Freya Stark (Freya Madeline Stark (1893 - 1993))

“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.” -Author Unknown

“The greatest virtue of man is perhaps curiosity.” -Anatole France (pseudonym of Jacques Anatole François Thibault (1844 - 1924))

“Curiosity killed the cat.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in the “Los Angeles Times” (22 August 1901) newspaper

Overheard: ‘Curiosity killed the cat’ is a common saying, but until someone shows me the record of the incident, I shall be disinclined to believe it.

“The place where you lose the trail is not necessarily the place where it ends.” -Tom Brown, Junior (born 1950): “The Tracker” (1978)

Amy: Who crossed the road and left everyone wanting an explanation?
Eva: The chicken.

“The first and simplest emotion which we discover in the human mind, is curiosity.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

“Satisfaction of one’s curiosity is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life.” - Linus Pauling (1901 - 1994)

“Things that people learn purely out of curiosity can have a revolutionary effect on human affairs.” -Frederick Seitz (1911 - 2008): in an interview (3 September 1997) for the George C. Marshall Institute

A ‘clue’ originally meant a ball of thread . . . hence, one ‘unravels’ the clues of a mystery.

“Isn’t it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive - it’s such an interesting world. It wouldn’t be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There’d be no scope for imagination then, would there?” -L. M. Montgomery (Lucy Maud Montgomery (1874 - 1942)): “Anne of Green Gables” (June 1908), Chapter 2; line spoken by fictional character Anne

“The moment that one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious and awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.” -Henry Miller (Henry Valentine Miller (1891 - 1980))

“‘Curiouser and curiouser!’ cried Alice.” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Alice in Wonderland” (1865), Chapter II

This is MFOL! . . . the website for anyone who has ever been told that he or she is a real curiosity . . . which is, after all, what everyone is . . .

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Criticism

12/13/2020

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“Some people find fault like there’s a reward for it.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’re a mile away from them - and you have their shoes!” -Henny Youngman (Henry ‘Henny’ Youngman (1906 - 1998))

Critics

What one approves, another scorns,
     And thus his nature each discloses;
You find the rosebush full of thorns,
     I find the thornbush full of roses.

by Arthur Guiterman (1871 - 1943)

“The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch somebody else doing it wrong, without comment.” -Theodore H. White (1915 - 1986)

“I never criticize anyone. The way to develop the best that is in a man is by appreciation and encouragement.” -Charles Schwab (Charles Michael Schwab (1862 - 1939))

“I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.” -Marcus Tullius Cicero (also known as Tully or simply Cicero (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.))

Riddle: What is easier to give than receive?
Solution: Criticism.

“Never allow anyone to rain on your parade and thus cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day. Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the fault-finding business. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it. Your time is too precious to be sacrificed in wasted days combating the menial forces of hate, jealously, and envy. Guard your fragile life carefully. Only God can shape a flower, but any foolish child can pull it to pieces.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.” -Author Unknown

“The reason to not take things personally is to understand that what people say about you is a reflection of them, not you.” -Author Unknown

“Wink at small faults.” -John Clarke (1596 - 1658): “Proverbs: English and Latine” (1639)

“The sad part about life is that we tend to comment only on those who do it wrong and neglect to balance it with praise for those who do it right.” -Keith Ready

“Sandwich every bit of criticism between two thick layers of praise.” -Mary Kay Ash (born Mary Kathlyn Wagner (1918 - 2001))

“Much of what people attempt to pass off as criticism or even constructive criticism is actually condemnation and an effort to slight or wound or destroy another person. You must develop a hard protective shell around your essential self to stop the slings and arrows of the critical and judgmental people you will encounter throughout your lifetime.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one would find fault with what he had done.” -John Henry Newman (also known as Cardinal Newman (1801 - 1890))

The stones that critics hurl with harsh intent
     A man may use to build his monument.
-Arthur Guiterman (1871 - 1943)

“Long experience has taught me that to be criticized is not always to be wrong.” -Anthony Eden (Robert Anthony Eden (1897 - 1977)): in a speech at the Lord Mayor’s Guildhall banquet during the Suez crisis, as quoted in the “Daily Herald” (10 November 1956) newspaper

“The man who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away.” -Charles M. Schwab (Charles Michael Schwab (1862 - 1939))

“Criticism is a destroyer of self-worth and esteem.” -H. Burke Peterson (Harold Burke Peterson (1923 - 2013)): ‘Preparing the Heart,’ in “Ensign” (May 1990) magazine, page 83

“A critic is a gong at a railroad crossing clanging loudly and vainly as the train goes by.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))

“Criticizing another’s garden does not keep the weeds out of your own.” -Author Unknown

“I am not given to finding fault, for there are innumerable fools.” -Plato (about 427 - about 347 B.C.E.): “Protagoras”

“Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

“Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without comment is a wonderful social grace.” -Judith Martin (born 1938)

“Sometimes people try to expose what’s wrong with you because they can’t handle everything that’s right about you.” -Author Unknown

“Make it your habit not to be critical about small things.” -Edward Everett Hale (1822 - 1909): as quoted in Jessie K. Freeman and Sarah S. B. Yule, editors: “Thoughts Selected from the Writings of Favorite Authors” (1901)

“If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it.” -Author Unknown

“When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.” -Louis Nizer (1902 - 1994)

Hypercritical: Excessively and unreasonably critical, especially of small faults.

“He who fancies himself very enlightened, because he sees the deficiencies of others, may be very ignorant, because he has not studied his own.” -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)

“Pay no attention to what the critics say. A statue has never been put up in honor of a critic.” -Jean Sibelius (1865 - 1957)

“Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.” -Bill Nye (Edgar Wilson ‘Bill’ Nye (1850 - 1896)), referring to Richard Wagner

“What you dislike in another, take care to correct in yourself.” -Thomas Sprat (1635 - 1713)

“Criticism of others is futile and if you indulge in it often you should be warned that it can be fatal to your career.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

“Movie Critic: A person who gives the best jeers of his or her life to the theater.” -Author Unknown

“People who judge others are insecure about themselves.” -Author Unknown

“To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.” -Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1788))

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

“Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours burn any brighter.” -Author Unknown

“Do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing, and you’ll never be criticized.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 -1915)): as quoted in Bert Hubbard, compiler: “Elbert Hubbard’s Selected Writings,” Part 2 (1922): ‘John North Willys,’ page 335

“Judge not, that ye be not judged.” -Matthew: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Matthew,’ chapter 7, verse 1

“If we had no faults we should not take so much pleasure in noting those of others.” -Duc de Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)

“Court not the critic’s smile, nor dread his frown.” -Walter Scott (1771 - 1832)

“The most insignificant people are the most apt to sneer at others. They are safe from reprisals and have no hope of rising in their own self-esteem but by lowering their neighbors.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

“People who try to whittle you down are only trying to reduce you to their size.” -Author Unknown

“Criticism comes easier than craftsmanship.” -Zeuxis of Heraclea (464 B.C.E. - 400 B.C.E.)

“Don’t worry about what people say about you; they are busy finding faults in your life instead of fixing the faults in their own lives.” -Author Unknown

“Criticism is a life without risk.” -John Lahr (born 1941): “Light Fantastic: Adventures in Theatre” (1996)

“You can run with the big dogs or sit on the porch and bark.” -Wallace Arnold

“To find fault is easy; to do better may be difficult.” -Plutarch (C.E. 46 - C.E. 120)

“Our worst fault is our preoccupation with the faults of others.” -Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931): as quoted in Robin Waterfield, editor: “The Voice of Kahlil Gibran: An Anthology” (1995)

“Wouldn’t it be nice if we could find other things as easily as we find fault?” -Author Unknown

“It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“The man who is anybody and who does anything is surely going to be criticized, vilified, and misunderstood. This is part of the penalty for greatness, and every man understands, too, that it is no proof of greatness.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

Overheard: People who have time to point out others’ mistakes have time to do some work.

“Pay more attention to your Creator than your critics.” -Author Unknown

“No matter what you or anyone else does, there will be someone who says that there’s something bad about it. Whenever somebody comes up with a good idea, there’s somebody else who has never had a good idea in his life who stands up and says, ‘Oh, you can’t do that . . .’” -Tom Clancy (Thomas Leo ‘Tom’ Clancy, Junior (1947 - 2013))

“When one dog barks another will join it.” -Author Unknown

“Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940)

“Usually our criticism of others is not because they have faults, but because their faults are different than ours.” -Roger Eastman

Is there more to life than simply expressing likes and dislikes? Can you list ten things more fun and interesting to do than criticizing others?

“Restrain your tongues in criticism of others. It is so easy to find fault. It is so much nobler to speak constructively.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Those who can, do. Those who can’t, criticize.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

“Be a doer and not a critic.” -Tony Blair (Anthony Charles Lynton ‘Tony’ Blair (born 1953))

“Criticism does not make you smarter or better than the one you are criticizing. In fact, the stuff you are critical of in others is the same stuff you don’t like about yourself.” -Iyanla Vanzant (born 1953 as Rhonda Eva Harris)

“It is easier to pull down than to build up.” -Author Unknown

“He has never learned anything, and he can do nothing in decent style.” -Author Unknown: comment made by Beethoven’s teacher

“It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are, the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719)

“When we criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.” -Richard Carlson (1961 - 2006)

“Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember - the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“People criticized me. So I changed. But people still criticized me. So I changed more. And still people criticized me. Then finally I realized it’s what they will do, no matter what. And I changed once more, by no longer listening to those people.” -Brian Vaszily (Brian William Vaszily (born 1970))

“Criticisms are opinions that people attempt to state as something more than opinion. But they are nonetheless only opinions, and nothing more, and of no more value.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism.” -Charles Schwab (Charles Michael Schwab (1862 - 1939))

“Be an encourager. The world has plenty of critics already.” -Dave Willis

“‘Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,’ he told me, ‘just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages you’ve had.’” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)): “The Great Gatsby,” Chapter 1

“In reality, the world have payed too great a compliment to critics, and have imagined them men of much greater profundity than they really are.” -Henry Fielding (1707 - 1754): “Tom Jones” (1749), book 5, chapter 1

“The higher we soar, the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark up to no good.” -P. G. Wodehouse (Pelham Grenville Wodehouse (1881 - 1975))

“It is ridiculous for any man to criticize the works of another if he has not distinguished himself by his own performances.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719)

“Our souls may lose their peace and even disturb other people’s, if we are always criticizing trivial actions - which often are not real defects at all, but we construe them wrongly through our ignorance of their motives.” -Teresa of Ávila (born Teresa de Cepeda y Ahumada (1515 - 1582))

“When criticized, consider the source.” -Author Unknown

“Criticism is easy, and art is difficult.” [translation to English]
“La critique est aisée, et l’art est difficile.” [original French]
-Philippe Destouches (Philippe Néricault Destouches (1680 - 1754)): “Glorieux,” II, 5, as quoted in Kate Louise Roberts, editor: “Hoyt’s New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations” (1922), page 150

“If you are always finding fault, you will seldom find anything else.” -Author Unknown

“Answer them with silence and indifference. It works better, I assure you, than anger and argument.” -Gioacchino Rossini (Gioacchini Antonio Rossini (1792 - 1868)), commenting on critics

“Let he who is without fault cast the first stone.” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘John,’ chapter 8, verse 7

“The faults we find in others are our own.” -Author Unknown

“Anybody can point out anybody else’s bad qualities. If you want to distinguish yourself, go around pointing out good qualities.” -Author Unknown

“Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own.” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . a website put together by some folks who could have been clowns but who have no costumes - and also no talent for being clowns . . . how’s that for criticism?

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Golf

12/12/2020

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“Golf is a game in which you yell, ‘Fore!’ shoot six, and write down five.” -Paul Harvey (1918 - 2009): as quoted in Jack Mingo: “Wannabe Guide to Golf” (1997)

Two men were starting a game of golf. One man stepped up to the tee, and his first drive resulted in a hole-in-one. The other man stepped up to the tee and said, “Okay, now I’ll take my practice swing and then we’ll start the game.”

A golfer walked into the pro shop at a local course and asked the golf pro if they sold ball markers. The golf pro said they did, and they were $1.00 each. The guy gave the golf pro a dollar . . . The golf pro opened the register, put the dollar in, and handed the golfer a quarter coin.

What is the origin of the word ‘caddie’? When Mary, later to become Queen of Scots, went to France as a young girl, allegedly for education as well as survival, Louis, King of France, learned that she loved the Scot’s game called golf. So, for her enjoyment, he had the first golf course outside of Scotland built. To make sure she was properly chaperoned and guarded while she played, the kingly Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. Mary liked this a lot, and when she returned to Scotland, which may not have been a very good idea in the long run, she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced ‘ca-day,’ which the Scots changed to ‘caddie.’

“Caddies are people who are paid to enjoy the game of golf.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Golf balls have dimples to reduce drag, thus allowing them to fly further than perfectly smooth balls would. The dimples also give personality to the otherwise plain-looking spherical objects.

“Work: The thing that interferes with golf.” -Frank Dane

“William Howard Taft (1857 - 1930) was the first golfer to become an American President. If you work hard to improve your golf game, perhaps you too might one day become an American President.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.” -Thomas Mulligan

Before 1850, golf balls were made of leather and stuffed with feathers - no, we are not making this stuff up. Cattle and chickens once played an important role in the game of golf.

“Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.” -Jim Bishop

“One hundred years of experience had demonstrated that the game is temporary insanity practiced in a pasture.” -Dave Kindred

Margot: How do you fix a broken golf club?
Margaret: Try some putty.

“The proper score for a businessman golfer is 90. If he is better than that, he is neglecting his business. If he’s worse, he’s neglecting his golf.” -Author Unknown: attributed to a member of the Saint Andrews Rotary Club

“I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.” -David Brenner

“Absentee: A missing golfing accessory.” -Author Unknown

“Long ago, when primitive people screamed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called ‘witchcraft.’ When modern man does the same, they call it ‘golf.’” -Author Unknown

“‘Play it as it lies,’ is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. The other is, ‘Wear it if it clashes.’” -Henry Beard

“Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.” -Harry Vardon

Kay: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
Jay: Just in case he got a hole in one.

Hole in One

A golfer who hailed from Verdun
Was intent on not being outdone.
     To avoid any glitches,
     He carried spare britches
In case he got a hole in one.

by Author Unknown

“It is good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

Adam: I’d move Heaven and Earth to break my 110 score.
Dan: Try moving just Heaven. You’ve already moved plenty of earth.

“If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.” -Bob Hope (Leslie Townes Hope (1903 - 2003))

The Golfer

“Who’s that stranger, mother dear -
     Look, he knows us, ain’t that queer?”
“Hush, my own, don’t talk so wild;
     That’s your father, dearest child.”
“That’s my father? No such thing!
     Father died away last Spring.”
“Father didn’t die, you dub;
     Father joined a golfing club.
Now the place is closed, so he
     Has no place to go, you see.
No place left for him to roam,
     That is why he’s coming home.
Kiss him, he won’t bite you, child;
     All them golfing guys look wild.”

by Author Unknown: as published in “Boardwalk Illustrated News”

“Golf is a good walk spoiled.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

Laddie: What kind of shirts do golfers wear?
Lassie: Tee-shirts.

A schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. “Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?” she asked the instructor. “P-u-t-t is correct,” he replied. “Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing.”

“Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.” -P. J. O’Rourke

Overheard: The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you.

“Golf: Flog spelled backwards.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.” -Ben Hogan

“I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936))

“The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.” -P. G. Wodehouse (Pelham Grenville Wodehouse (1881 - 1975))

“If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.” -Jack Lemmon

The May 1990 issue of “Golf” magazine had good news for golf enthusiasts. It reported that Augusta National, the elite private golf course where the Masters tournament is held, would begin allowing public access to its course at certain times. As a result of this report, both Augusta National and “Golf” magazine received hundreds of calls from eager golfers inquiring about playing privileges. But the report was an April fool’s joke, despite its placement in the May issue. “Golf” magazine was forced to publish a retraction, reaffirming that Augusta National was still a private club open only to members and guests.

“Golf is the most useless outdoor game ever devised to waste the time and try the spirit of man.” -Westbrook Pegler

“When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf.” -Dave Stockton

“The aim of golf is to get the ball moving down the fairway and into the green or some such fool thing - and if your aim is exceptional, to knock honking geese, flying insects, buzzing airplanes, stalking drones, and spying satellites right out of the sky.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Misty: How golfers create divots.” -Author Unknown

“I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.” -Will Rogers (William Penn Adair ‘Will’ Rogers (1879 - 1935))

“Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.” -William Wordsworth (1770 - 1850)

“Golf is a puzzle without an answer. I’ve played the game for 40 years and I still haven’t the slightest idea how to play.” -Gary Player

Some people like to combine golf and messin’ with ’gators into a single sport. It can be tricky though, since alligators are known to play their game on the golf course by a completely different set of rules.

“The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish.” -Sam Snead, champion professional golfer

“Golf: A long walk punctuated by disappointments.” -Author Unknown

“Even if the ball was wrapped in bacon, Lassie couldn’t find it.” -Author Unknown: overheard from an Irish caddie, after a particularly bad shot

“Golf is 20 percent mechanics and technique. The other 80 percent is philosophy, humor, tragedy, romance, melodrama, companionship, camaraderie, cussedness, and conversation.” -Grantland Rice (1880 - 1954)

“As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.” -Ben Hogan

“It’s a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get.” -Arnold Palmer (Arnold Daniel Palmer (1929 - 2016))

“May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.” -Ben Hogan, referencing the Twenty-Third Psalm of the Bible

This is MFOL! . . . and we have invented our very own variation on the game of golf: we call it ‘goof’ and it is played with goofballs . . . or perhaps by goofballs . . . what’s that . . . golfers say we are not funny in the least . . .

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Anatomy and Physiology

12/10/2020

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Curious Young Gal

There was a young gal who said, “Why
Can’t I look in my ear with my eye?
     If I put my mind to it,
     I’m sure I can do it;
You never can tell till you try.”

by Author Unknown

Humans are bioluminescent, meaning we glow in the dark, but the light we emit is 1,000 times weaker than our human eyes are able to detect.

Gladys: What kind of advice do you get from hands?
Douglas: Finger tips.

Hair is made of the same substance as fingernails, but you cannot make that fun screeching sound that drives everyone bonkers by running your hair over a chalkboard; only your fingernails can do that.

The average person has 10,000 taste buds. Not all taste buds are on the tongue; about ten percent are on the insides of the cheeks. So, what does your tongue taste like?

Sit down and lift your right foot off the floor, and make clockwise circles. While doing this, draw the number 6 in the air with your right hand. Your foot will automatically change direction, and there is nothing you can do to stop it from doing so. Someone - and by someone we mean you - just kidding! - should investigate this phenomena to find out if it is in any way related to the rise in incidents of people hitting their accelerator pedals when they mean to hit their brake pedals, while driving a vehicle.

Nellie: What did one toe say to the other?
Stella: “Don’t look now, but I think we’re being followed by a heel.”

The normal human body temperature is about 37 degrees Celsius (about 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit). However, it is not uncommon for the temperature of some persons to be just slightly higher by as much as a degree due to their increased metabolism - particularly teenagers and young adults. As always, if you are concerned, seek a doctor’s opinion.

Becca: What has one foot on each end and a foot in the middle?
Becky: A yardstick.

The average human body contains enough iron to make a 3-inch nail, enough sulfur to kill all of the fleas on an average dog, enough carbon to make 900 pencils, enough potassium to fire a toy cannon, enough fat to make 7 bars of soap, enough phosphorous to make 2,200 match heads, and enough water to fill a ten-gallon tank.

Nonsense Poem

I’d rather have fingers than toes,
I’d rather have eyes than a nose;
     And as for my hair
     I’m glad it’s all there,
I’ll be awfully sad when it goes.

by Gelett Burgess (Frank Gelett ‘Gelett’ Burgess (1866 - 1951))

“Fingerprints serve another useful function besides helping law enforcement officers catch criminals: the tiny ridges provide traction for the fingers to grasp objects. Fingers are among the many ‘tools’ integrated into our bodies, making humans the ultimate Swiss Army knives of the animal kingdom.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

In addition to the better-known senses of hearing, sight, touch, smell, and taste, humans have at least fifteen other senses. These include balance, temperature, pain, and time, as well as internal senses for suffocation, thirst, and fullness. Some humans have also been found to have a sense of humor.

“Shin: A specialized anatomical feature of the human body designed for finding furniture in the dark.” -Author Unknown

Did you know that it is physically impossible for you to lick your own elbows? Go ahead and try it - just do not injure yourself!

Chin

There was a young lady whose chin
Resembled the point of a pin;
     So she had it made sharp,
     And purchased a harp,
And played several tunes with her chin.

by Edward Lear (1812 - 1888)

The words for ten human body parts have only three letters: eye, hip, arm, leg, ear, toe, jaw, rib, lip, and gum.

“If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn’t.” -Lyall Watson (1939 - 2008)

Humans use a total of 72 different muscles in speech. Be sure to give those muscles a real workout today, huh?

Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different. Now stick out your tongue and say, “Aaaaaaaaahhh!”

About eight percent of people have an extra rib, which is not really all that interesting - unless you happen to be a cannibal.

The Operation Game features an Adam’s apple, broken heart, wrenched ankle, butterflies in the stomach, spareribs, water on the knee, funny bone, writer’s cramp, Charley horse, anklebone connected to the knee bone, wishbone, breadbasket, and brain freeze. Players in the Operation Game attempt to remove each of these ailments from the patient, whose name is Cavity Sam. The regular-size game can be purchased from www.Hasbro.com.

Your Nose Is Running

“Your nose is running,” Mother said.
     I answered, “Wow! That’s really neat!”
“Why’s that?” she asked. I said, “Because
     I never knew my nose had feet.”

by Jeff Moss (Jeffrey Arnold ‘Jeff’ Moss (1942 - 1998)): “The Other Side of the Door: Poems” (1991)

Our bodies burn a large amount of calories just to keep us at a steady 37 degrees Celsius (98.6 degrees Fahrenheit). The human body gives off enough heat in thirty minutes to bring two liters (a little more than two quarts or half a gallon) of water to a boil. If you could capture and use the heat, you could cook a pasta dinner with it. First, though, you will need some kind of mad scientist laboratory . . .

“Not everyone can wiggle their ears, you know. It’s something you’re born with.” -Kevin Henkes (born 1960): “Sun and Spoon” (1997), author website: https://KevinHenkes.com/

Why can humans move their eyes in opposite directions toward their noses, but not in opposite directions away from the noses?

“The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.” -Thomas Edison (Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931))

Riddle: What can you hold in your right hand that you cannot hold in your left hand?
Solution: Your left elbow.

Ahead: The thing on top of your neck.

Kerry: What should you do if your ear rings?
Karen: Answer it.

Lizzie: How do you keep your ear from ringing continuously?
Beth: Get an unlisted head.

Humans are said to have fifty percent of their DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Acid) in common with bananas. Perhaps we should get to better know the elongated yellow fruit with which we have so much in common?

“The nose is that part of the body that shines, snubs, snoops, and sneezes.” -Author Unknown

“The heart has eyes that the brain knows nothing of.” -Charles Henry Parkhurst

If the human brain were a computer, it would perform 38 thousand-trillion operations per second. The world’s most powerful supercomputer, Blue Gene, can manage only 0.002 percent of that amount.

Sharon: How do you keep your feet from falling asleep?
Sherry: Wear loud socks.

A typical adult human is made up of more than 37,200,000,000,000 (37.2 trillion) living cells made up of 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (7 octillion) atoms. For perspective, the Milky Way Galaxy has a mere 100,000,000,000 (100 billion) stars. Every year, about 98 percent of the atoms in human bodies are replaced by new ones. Now you finally know what is meant by the phrase ‘a whole new you.’

Riddle: What has fingers and thumbs but no hands?
Solution: A glove.

The human body has more than 600 muscles, which make up 40 percent of the body’s weight. Our muscles are actually much more powerful than they may seem to be. Human strength is usually limited to prevent our tendons and muscles from tearing themselves apart; however, this limitation can be overcome in an adrenaline rush, during which there are recorded instances of people lifting heavy boulders and even automobiles off people and animals that have been trapped under them.

Joseph: Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Joe: Because it is the ‘scenter.’

At any given time, your brain can generate up to 25 watts of power - enough energy to make a light bulb come on. You are indeed more powerful than you might have known!

Veronica: What has a head but no brain?
Vera: A cabbage.

Human blood has roughly the same concentration of salt that seawater has.

A condition called ‘synesthesia’ can cause the senses to overlap, so that affected people may taste words or hear colors.

Riddle: What can clap without using hands?
Solution: Thunder.

People with hexadectylism have six fingers or six toes on one or both hands or feet. This might give them an advantage over the rest of us when it comes to typing and texting, and perhaps other activities involving manual dexterity.

A sharp nose indicates curiosity, and a flat nose indicates . . . too much curiosity!

Lionel: What has four legs and one arm?
Lynette: A happy guard dog!

The human liver has more than 500 functions. Getting you to the airport to catch your next flight and washing the dog are not among them.

The bump at the front of the throat is called the Adam’s Apple, which is said to be from the forbidden fruit getting stuck in Adam’s throat as he ate it in the Garden of Eden.

If someone’s nose runs and his or her feet smell, is that person built upside-down?

Riddle: What has a head and mouth, but no eyes, nose, or ears?
Solution: A river.

The human brain is 70 percent cholesterol . . . and the experts are telling you to cut back on cholesterol - do you see a potential problem with their advice? That’s right, they seem to want you to have a smaller brain!

A Boastful Young Person

“I can pick up a cent with my toes,”
Said a boastful young person named Mose,
     But sharp-witted Millie
     Replied, “That’s just silly -
I can do the same thing with my nose.”

by Author Unknown

The human body is divided into three parts: the Brainium, the Borax, and the Abominable Cavity. The Brainium contains the Brain. The Borax contains the Lungs, the Heart, the Liver, and the Living Things. The Abominable Cavity contains the Bowels, of which there are five: A, E, I, O, and U.

“A good heart is better than all the heads in the world.” -Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)): “The Disowned” (1828), Chapter xxxiii

If your DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Acid) were stretched out, it could reach to the Earth’s Moon 6,000 times - but would you really want to visit the Moon that often?

Fingertip to fingertip, the width of your armspan stretched out equals the length of your whole body from head to foot, which means you come pretty close to meeting the definition of a ‘square.’

Jenny: What has two legs, two arms, and two heads?
Jennifer: A two-headed monster.

The elements oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, and nitrogen make up 90 percent of the human body. The remaining 10 percent is made up of hamsters running on hamster wheels that make the body able to do things like stand up, walk around, open and close the mouth, yawn, and blink.

Overheard: I would like to thank my Arms, for always being by my side . . . my Legs, for always supporting me, and my Fingers, because I can always count on them.

The next time your anatomy teacher says, “Are there any questions?” raise your hand and ask, “Can a person laugh on the inside and on the outside at the same time?” More MFOL! is coming up next . . .

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Bicycles

12/4/2020

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“The bicycle, the bicycle surely, should always be the vehicle of novelists and poets.” -Christopher Morley

“A bicycle does get you there and more . . . and there is always the thin edge of danger to keep you alert and comfortably apprehensive. Dogs become dogs again and snap at your raincoat; potholes become personal. And getting there is all the fun.” -Bill Emerson: ‘On Bicycling’ article published in the “Saturday Evening Post” (29 July 1967)

The first bicycle in the world was invented in 1817. Riders sat on its seat and scooted it, or pushed it along with their feet, because it had no pedals - which no doubt wore out shoes quickly. The first bicycle to be fitted with pedal cranks and iron rims was built in 1840 by a Scottish blacksmith named Kirkpatrick MacMillan.

“A bicycle runs on fat and saves you money, whereas an automobile runs on money and makes you fat.” -Author Unknown

“Tens of thousands who could never afford to own, feed and stable a horse, had by this bright invention enjoyed the swiftness of motion which is perhaps the most fascinating feature of material life.” -Frances Willard (Frances Elizabeth Caroline Willard (1839 - 1898)): “How I Learned to Ride the Bicycle” (1 January 1895)

Starlet: What’s the difference between a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle and a well-dressed man on a unicycle?
Alistair: Attire.

Bicycle Facts
- Bicycles are rider-powered land vehicles.
- Bicycles have two large rotating wheels, with a rear wheel following behind a front wheel.
- The two wheels are mounted on a frame, to which is also attached pedals, the rider’s seat, movable handlebars, manual brake controls, and any accessories such as safety reflectors, bells, horns, and electric lights.
- Bicycles typically use a chain to transmit the rider’s pedal-power to the rear wheel, which propels the machines forward.
- Balancing a bicycle to keep it upright is accomplished by the rider shifting his or her weight, leaning slightly to the left or the right.
- Steering is accomplished by moving the handlebars to turn the front wheel.
- Bicycles are most commonly used to transport a rider, but can also be fitted with racks or baskets for carrying cargo, and can even tow small trailers.
- More than one billion bicycles are found throughout the world.

“The bicycle is a curious vehicle. Its passenger is its engine.” -John Howard

Forty percent of the workers in Amsterdam, Netherlands commute to work by bicycle.

Bicycles: Two-wheeled exercise machines, operated by humans, and invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, dogs must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly, and run alongside for a few yards; the person swerves and falls into the bushes, and the dog can then walk away, refreshed from exercise.

Road bikes typically have thinner tires inflated to higher pressures than those found on off-road bikes such as mountain bikes, dirt bikes, and all-terrain bikes, taking advantage of the smoother surfaces that roads generally provide.

“The other day on a ride, I was speeding down a narrow, twisting, mountain road. Then along came a man who was driving very slowly uphill toward me, honking his horn, and shouting at me. “Pig, pig!” he said. “Pig, pig!” So I gave him a rude look and shouted back some insults as I sped by him. Still thinking about this awful man and his shouting, I turned the corner and promptly collided with a pig.” -Author Unknown

Bicycle tires come in many different types, so find out which type of tires best suit your cycling needs. Thin tires are for bicycling on pavement and on racing tracks, surface-gripping tires are for use on rough terrain such as rocky mountains, wide tires are for snow, and puncture-proof tires are for riding over ground that may have broken glass, sharp stones, or other material that can puncture or slice tires.

The word ‘bicycle’ is derived from the Latin ‘bi’ meaning ‘twice’ or ‘double’ and the Greek ‘kuklos’ meaning ‘wheel.’ A ‘cyclist’ is a rider who powers a bicycle by moving the pedals.

“The bicycle is just as good company as most husbands and, when it gets old and shabby, a woman can dispose of it and get a new one without shocking the entire community.” -Ann Strong: as quoted in the “Minneapolis Tribune” (1895) newspaper

Melvin: What is the hardest part of learning to ride a bike?
Calvin: The pavement.

“When man invented the bicycle, he reached the peak of his attainments. Here was a machine of precision and balance for the convenience of man. And, unlike subsequent inventions for man’s convenience, the more he used it, the fitter his body became. Here, for once, was a product of man’s brain that was entirely beneficial to those who used it, and of no harm or irritation to others. Progress should have stopped when man invented the bicycle.” -Elizabeth West: “Hovel in the Hills” (1 January 1977)

“The bicycle had, and still has, a humane, almost classical moderation in the kind of pleasure it offers. It is the kind of machine that a Hellenistic Greek might have invented and ridden. It does no violence to our normal reactions: It does not pretend to free us from our normal environment.” -J. B. Jackson

The Penny-Farthing was an early type of bicycle, with a front wheel significantly larger than the rear. The name comes from the old British penny and farthing coins, analogous to the large and small wheels.

“Get a bicycle. You will certainly not regret it, if you live.” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)): “Taming the Bicycle” (1884)

“For instance, the bicycle is the most efficient machine ever created: Converting calories into gas, a bicycle gets the equivalent of three thousand miles per gallon.” -Bill Strickland: “The Quotable Cyclist” (1997)

One of the reasons many people do not own a bicycle is that a bicycle is easily stolen by a bicycle thief - even when bicycles are secured to immovable objects with chains or cables and locks. One solution to this problem is the Yerka Bike, the world’s first theft-proof bicycle, which can be seen and purchased at www.YerkaBikes.com.

“When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race.” -H. G. Wells (Herbert George Wells (1866 - 1946))

“Many things in life are like learning to ride a bicycle: You climb on and get it moving and you try to keep your balance and you have a few unpleasant accidents in which you are more scared and humiliated than you are injured and you learn very quickly how to work the strange mechanical contraption and before you know it you are quite good at it, and once you have learned how to ride a bicycle you never forget how it is done - so now you know the method to writing poetry and computer programs or making sandcastles and cinnamon scones or building skyscrapers and starting businesses; just get started and keep moving! Let us all get out there and do the things we have been dreaming of. Get on that bicycle of life and ride, ride like the wind!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born in 1966)

“I prefer a bike to a horse. The brakes are more easily checked.” -Lambert Jeffries

“The bicycle is the most civilized conveyance known to man. Other forms of transport grow daily more nightmarish. Only the bicycle remains pure in heart.” -Iris Murdoch: “The Red and the Green” (1965)

“Think of bicycles as rideable art that can just about save the world.” -Grant Peterson

“Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.” -Charles Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000))

“Life is like riding a bicycle. You don’t fall off unless you stop pedaling.” -Claude Pepper

“Cycology: The science of propelling one’s self through the environment to enhance well-being.” -Author Unknown

“It is curious that with the advent of the automobile and the airplane, the bicycle is still with us. Perhaps people like the world they can see from a bike, or the air they breathe when they’re out on a bike. Or they like the bicycle’s simplicity and the precision with which it is made. Or because they like the feeling of being able to hurtle through air one minute, and saunter through a park the next, without leaving behind clouds of choking exhaust, without leaving behind so much as a footstep.” -Gurdon S. Leete

Amy: When is a bicycle not a bicycle?
Susy: When it turns into a driveway.

“Cycle tracks will abound in Utopia.” -H. G. Wells (Herbert George Wells (1866 - 1946))

Outside Ride on a Bicycle

The one thing I just can’t abide
Is spending the whole day inside.
The one thing I like
Is riding my bike.
Oh, please let me outside to ride!

by Author Unknown

The energy required to cycle at low to medium speeds is roughly the same as the energy required to walk.

“It would not be at all strange if history came to the conclusion that the perfection of the bicycle was the greatest incident of the nineteenth century.” -Author Unknown

“The bicycle will accomplish more for women’s sensible dress than all the reform movements that have ever been waged.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “Demorest’s Family Magazine” (1895)

Many bicycles are sold with seats that are too small, narrow, and uncomfortable for riders. This is one place where bicycle manufacturers unwisely skimp on materials, with the ridiculous excuse that a narrow seat will fit better inside the cardboard box in which an unassembled bicycle is shipped. Many cyclists buy and install after-market seats that are wider, padded, and even equipped with springs to make the ride less bumpy and more comfortable.

Bicycles have two wheels. Machines similar to bicycles include one-wheeled unicycles, three-wheeled tricycles, and four-wheeled quadracycles. Although unicycles (one wheel) and tricycles (three wheels) do not have two wheels, they are sometimes still referred to as ‘bikes.’

Lilly: Why can a bicycle not stand on its own?
Holly: Because it is just two-tired.

“Bicycling is a big part of the future . . . it has to be . . . there is something wrong with a society that drives a car to work out at a gym.” -Bill Nye, the Science Guy

A tandem bicycle is a bicycle built for two riders.

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Daisy Bell

Daisy, Daisy,
     Give me your answer, do!
I’m half crazy,
     All for the love of you!
It won’t be a stylish marriage,
     I can’t afford a carriage,
But you’ll look sweet
     On the seat
Of a bicycle
    Built for two!

by Harry Dacre (pseudonym of Frank Dean (1857 - 1922))

When Frank Dean, also known by the pseudonym Harry Dacre, came to the United States of America from England, he was shocked at the cost of the duty for the bicycle he had brought along. A friend chanced to remark, “Lucky for you it was not built for two,” which gave him the idea for his famous song “Daisy Bell,” which in turn started the whole cycle of bicycle songs popular in the 1890’s. Is this an example of someone making the best of things?

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“It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle.” -Ernest Hemingway

“I’ve really had it with my dog,” said a man to his neighbor. “He’ll chase anyone on a bicycle.” “Hmmm, that is a problem,” said the neighbor. “What are you thinking of doing about it?” The man said, “I guess the only answer is to confiscate his bike!”

Sometimes riding a bicycle is not safe. A major problem in some areas is that riding a bicycle on the streets carries a high risk of injury or even death because of unsafe motor-vehicle drivers. More attention needs to be given to this problem through education of motor vehicle drivers - especially in teaching them that they will need to share the roads with other types of vehicles, no matter any contrary opinions. Motor vehicle drivers who create unsafe situations for cyclists must be denied the privilege of driving. More can be done to redesign streets and cities with the needs of cyclists in mind, making them welcome users, and not people who are merely tolerated. One way to make progress toward such goals is for bicycle riders to organize and work together on achieving them.

Bicycle Race

On a bike race through Scotland did ped-al
A speedy French rider who led-all.
     “Is my lead big?” he cried.
     “Wee,” a Scotsman replied,
So he slowed down and won no gold med-al.

by Graham Lester

Orville and Wilbur Wright, the brothers who built the first successful airplane, operated a small bike repair shop in Dayton, Ohio, United States of America. They used this workshop to build their 1903 Wright Flyer.

“I think the bicycle has done more to emancipate women than any one thing in the world. I rejoice every time I see a woman ride by on a bike. It gives her a feeling of self-reliance and independence the moment she takes her seat; and away she goes, the picture of untrammeled womanhood.” -Susan B. Anthony (Susan Brownell Anthony (1820 - 1906)) (2 February 1896)

“Bicycle means simplicity and simplicity means happiness!” -Mehmet Murat Ildan

More than ten bicycles can be parked in the space taken up by one automobile. Parking an automobile can cost twenty dollars (U.S.) or more a day, while parking a bicycle is free.

“The journey of life is like a man riding a bicycle. We know he got on the bicycle and started to move. We know that at some point he will stop and get off. We know that if he stops moving and does not get off he will fall off.” -William Golding: as quoted in Abby Adams: “An Uncommon Scold” (1989)

“Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“When the spirits are low, when the day appears dark, when work becomes monotonous, when hopes hardly seems worth having, just mount a bicycle and go for a good spin down the road, without thought of anything but the ride you are taking.” -Arthur Conan Doyle: as quoted in “The American Bee Keeper” (May 1895)

Before the word ‘bicycle’ came into common usage, bikes were typically called ‘velocipedes’ - not to be confused with velociraptors, which are a type of theropod, which lived around the time of the dinosaurs, which are a type of extinct reptile - but not all reptiles are extinct, as for example, crocodiles, which do not commonly have wheels . . . but we digress . . .

“One of the most important days in my life was when I learned to ride a bicycle.” -Michael Palin

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” -Albert Einstein

We are MFOL! . . . engaging in the pursuit of happiness on two wheels . . .

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Astronomy

11/28/2020

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Astronomy is for those who never stop looking up . . .

“We can’t all be stars, but we can all sparkle.” -Author Unknown

What are stars? Stars are massive spheres, or balls, of very hot burning gases, called plasma, held together by their own gravity. Most stars contain mostly hydrogen, with small amounts of helium. Some stars have tiny amounts of other elements as well.

“At night, an enormous blanket is placed over the Earth to keep it warm. The blanket is very old and worn out, and so it has many tiny holes in it. The holes where the Sun’s light comes through are called stars.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Stars form in nebulas, which are large gaseous areas of space. As gravity attracts and condenses more and more gas into clusters, young stars called protostars start to form.

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

Stars radiate energy created from nuclear fusion, which is a process that takes place in a star’s core and involves hydrogen fusing, or burning, to make helium. Once nuclear fusion has begun in the core, a star is sufficiently fueled to spend the majority of its life as a main sequence star, or twinkly thing, in its most stable form.

The Star

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
     How I wonder what you are.
Giant thermonuclear reaction,
     Held by gravitational attraction.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
     You look small ’cause you’re so far.
As you burn through constant fusion,
     Your twinkle’s just an optical illusion
That happens when your light gets near,
     Distorted by our atmosphere.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
     Spreading light and heat so far.
As you use up fuel you’ll grow,
     And give off a scarlet glow.
Maybe you’ll go supernova
     Exploding elements all over.
Now I know just what you are,
     And I know I’m made of stars.

by Author Unknown: parody of “The Star” by Jane Taylor (1806)

“Even a small star shines in the darkness.” -Author Unknown: Finnish proverb

A brown dwarf forms if a star does not become hot enough to reach nuclear fusion. While a brown dwarf has failed to become a proper star, it is not a planet because it does glow dimly.

“There are stars called white dwarfs and red giants . . . but, alas, no jelly donuts.” -Author Unknown

The most common stars are red dwarfs. They are less than half the size and mass of our Sun, and burn their fuel very slowly. Red dwarfs last longer than any other type of star, at more than 100 billion years. They are cooler than most stars, and so shine less, eventually growing dimmer.

“We are made of stardust. Every atom of every element in your body except for hydrogen has been manufactured inside stars, scattered across the Universe in great stellar explosions, and recycled to become part of you.” -John Gribbin (John R. Gribbin (born 1946)): “Stardust” (10 September 2000)

When smaller stars such as red dwarfs or red giants use up all of their fuel and nuclear fusion slows, they start to die, and become small white dwarf stars, which emit white light until they finally darken into black dwarfs.

“All men have stars, but they are not the same things for different people. For some, who are travelers, the stars are guides. For others they are no more than little lights in the sky. For others, who are scholars, they are problems . . . But all these stars are silent. You - you alone, will have stars as no one else has them . . .” -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (Antoine Marie Jean-Baptiste Roger (1900 - 1944))

A dwarf star is so dense that it would take eight people to lift a teaspoonful of its matter. As yellow dwarf stars like our Sun start to run out of hydrogen fuel, the core shrinks, heats, and pushes out the rest of the star, turning it into a red giant.

Wish Upon a Star

Star light, star bright,
     The first star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
     Have this wish I wish tonight.

by Author Unknown

Red supergiants, such as Betelgeuse in the constellation Orion, make our Sun look small, having 20 times its mass, and being 1,000 times bigger in size. Red hypergiants, such as the largest known star, VY Canis Majoris, are even bigger, at more than 1,800 times the size of our Sun.

“It is often in the darkest skies that we see the brightest stars.” -Author Unknown

Big stars like supergiants and hypergiants have shorter lives because they consume their fuel at a faster rate than smaller stars. As these massive stars die, they explode into massive bright supernovas.

“Why does someone believe you when you say there are four hundred billion stars in the sky, but when you say the paint is wet they have to touch it themselves to find out?” -Author Unknown

Star matter blown apart in supernova explosions forms new stellar nebulas (or nebulae), and the process of making stars begins all over again.

“Stars are beautiful, but they may not take an active part in anything; they must just look on forever. It is a punishment put on them for something they did so long ago that no star now knows what it is.” -J. M. Barrie (James Matthew Barrie (1860 - 1937)): “Peter Pan” (????)

Very heavy stars that go supernova can actually turn into black holes, while other supernovas leave behind white neutron stars that are 20 to 40 kilometers (12.5 to 25 miles) in diameter and have dense cores made of neutrons.

Riddle: I shine high in the sky - what am I?
Solution: I am a star.

As a star approaches the end of its life, it begins to change the helium into heavier chemical elements, such as carbon and oxygen, and the star will begin to change its color, density, mass, and size.

“With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand miles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress.” -Kurt Vonnegut, Junior (1922 - 2007): “The Sirens of Titan” (1959), type of work: novel; line spoken by fictional character Ransom K. Ferm (printed as Ransom K. Fern in some instances)

Astronomers . . . mapping the way to future homeworlds for humanity . . .

An ancient astronomer stayed up all night trying to figure out where the Sun had gone. In the morning, it finally dawned on him.

Stars range in color depending on how hot they are. In order from lowest to highest temperature, they can be brown, red, orange, yellow, white, or blue in color.

“Stars have always helped me to get things into perspective . . . I tried to let the starlight heal something deep in me that hurt.” -Madeleine L’Engle (Madeleine L’Engle Camp (1918 - 2007))

Stars are often between 1 and 10 billion years old. Some stars may even be close to the age of the observed Universe, at nearly 13.8 billion years old.

There are more stars in the Universe than there are grains of sand on all the beaches of the world. We know this because we have been traveling the world’s beaches with a pencil, a notebook, and a magnifying glass, counting all of the itsy-bitsy granules of sand . . . if you see us out there, be sure to say hello!

Stars

The stars are tiny daisies high,
     Opening and shutting in the sky.
The daisies are the stars below,
     Twinkling and sparkling as they grow.

by Authors Unknown

Each galaxy contains hundreds of billions of stars and there are estimated to be more than 100 billion galaxies in the Universe. The total number of stars in the Universe is mind boggling, estimated to be at least 70 sextillion and possibly as high as 300 sextillion, which is 300,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.

“Put three grains of sand inside a vast cathedral, and the cathedral will be more closely packed with sand than space is with stars.” -James Jeans (James Hopwood Jeans (1877 - 1946)): as attributed in Laurence J. Peter’s “Peter’s Quotations: Ideas for Our Time” (1993)

Our Milky Way Galaxy is an area in space crowded with lots of stars - so many that it resembles a road of spilled milk. That is how it got its name! There are estimated to be somewhere between 200 and 400 billion stars in the Milky Way.

Galaxies are speeding away from Earth at 90,000 miles per second. What do you suppose they know that we don’t?

The light emitted by 200,000 galaxies makes our Universe a shade of beige. Scientists call the color ‘cosmic latte.’ Of course, if a scientist is up late at night looking at stars, it might be because he or she is highly caffeinated.

“There they stand, the innumerable stars, shining in order like a living hymn, written in light.” -Nathaniel Parker Willis (1806 - 1867)

The light from stars takes millions of years to reach Earth, so when you look at the stars, you are literally looking back in time.

“The stars are not so strange as the mind that studies them, analyzes their light, and measures their distances.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969): “On Being a Real Person” (1943)

While a clear night sky may appear to be full of stars, there are really only about 2,000 to 3,000 stars visible to the unaided eye, meaning without the use of a telescope. These stars are all either close to the Earth or intensely luminous, meaning very bright, like yourself.

Visiting an observatory, the backwoods man watched the astronomer look through his telescope. Just then a star fell. “Wow-wee!” exclaimed the man. “You sure are a great shot!”

Stars only appear to twinkle because we see them through the Earth’s atmosphere. Stars shine at an unblinking steady state, but atmospheric disturbances called eddies, which we experience as slight breezes and winds, make stars look sparkly.

If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day. We know this because we spend a lot of time hanging out at the bottom of old wells and chimneys . . .

At an average distance of just 149,597,870 kilometers (92,955,807 miles), the nearest star to Earth is a yellow dwarf star called the Sun. The next nearest star to Earth is a red dwarf star called Proxima Centauri, also known as Alpha Centauri C. It was discovered in 1915 by Scottish astronomer Robert Innes while he was working at the Union Observatory in Johannesburg, South Africa. It is about 39.9 trillion kilometers (24.79 trillion miles) or 4.25 light years away. Light from this star reaches Earth in 4.25 years. A spacecraft using the newest, fastest propulsion systems would take about 75,000 years to get there.

Arnold: Did you know there’s a star called the Dog Star?
Owen: Are you Sirius?

Binary stars and multi-star systems are made up of two or more stars that are gravitationally linked, so that they orbit around each other.

“There wouldn’t be a sky full of stars if we were all meant to wish on the same one.” -Frances Clark (Frances Mary Clark (1860 - 1958))

A comet is a relatively small solar system body that orbits the Sun. When close enough to the Sun, comets display a visible coma, which is a fuzzy outline or atmosphere due to solar radiation, and sometimes also a tail.

When asked about flying saucers, the astronomer replied, “No comet.”

Asteroids are small solar system bodies that orbit the Sun. Made of rock and metal, they can also contain organic compounds. Asteroids are similar to comets but do not have a visible coma (fuzzy outline and tail) like comets do.

“Telescope: A device for bringing the sky closer.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

A meteoroid is a small rock or particle of debris in our solar system. They range in size from dust to around 10 meters in diameter. Larger objects are usually referred to as asteroids.

Star

Star light, star bright,
     First star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
     No - it’s just a satellite!

by Author Unknown

So-called ‘shooting stars’ and ‘falling stars’ are not actually stars, but are meteors. A meteoroid that burns up as it passes through the Earth’s atmosphere is known as a meteor. A meteoroid that survives falling through the Earth’s atmosphere and colliding with the Earth’s surface is known as a meteorite.

The odds of anyone being struck by a meteorite are said to be ‘astronomical.’

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When You Wish Upon a Star

When you wish upon a star
     Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
     Will come to you.

If your heart is in your dreams
     No request is to extreme
When you wish upon a star
     As dreamers do.

Fate is kind
     She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment
     of their secret longing.

Like a bolt out of the blue
     Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
     Your dreams come true.

If your heart is in your dreams
     No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
     As dreamers do.

When you wish upon a star
     Your dream comes true.

by Jesse McCartney

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Stars have played important roles throughout human history. They have become a part of religions, been grouped into constellations, used in astrology, helped to design calendars, and were very important navigational tools for early explorations across lands and seas.

“Silently, one by one in the infinite meadows of Heaven, blossomed the lovely stars, the forget-me-nots of angels.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

If you would like to keep up-to-date on the goings on in a whole Universe of stars, click on the link www.StarDate.org.

Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul.
Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.
-Pamela Vaull Starr (pseudonym of Violet Isabelle (Carter) Popp (1909 - 1993))

At MFOL! we think stars are, like, so stellar . . . and far out, too! Yeah, we know, we’re kinda weird sometimes . . . now go have fun with your life!

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Cats and Dogs

11/26/2020

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If you are having difficulty deciding whether to get a cat or a dog, we may be able to help . . .

One trait cats and dogs have in common is that they will both look up to you . . . but they look at you differently.

“If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because you lap is warmer.” -Alfred North Whitehead

“Your cat will never threaten your popularity by barking at three in the morning. He won’t attack the mailman or eat the drapes, although he may climb the drapes to see how the room looks from the ceiling.” -Helen Powers

“In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.” -Dereke Bruce

When cats chase their prey, they keep their heads level. Dogs and humans bob their heads up and down when chasing prey. Ducks cannot waddle, waddle, quack, quack without bobbing their heads. This could be a whole new way of looking at animals!

In contrast to dogs, cats have not undergone major changes during the attempted domestication process.

“You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.” -George Mikes: “How to Be Decadent” (1 January 1977)

Spot: What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat?
Fluffy: An animal that chases itself.

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Who Needs a Man?
- If you want someone who can scare away burglars without using a lethal weapon, get a dog.
- If you want someone who eats whatever you put in front of him and never says his mother made it better, get a dog.
- If you want someone who is always eager to go out anytime you ask and anywhere you want to go, get a dog.
- If you want someone who never criticizes anything you do, does not care how good or bad you look, acts as though every word you say is worth hearing, never complains, and loves you unconditionally all the time, get a dog!
- If you want someone who never touches the remote, could care less about Monday Night Football, and watches dramatic movies with you as long as you want, get a dog.
- If you want someone who will bring you the newspaper without tearing through it first for the sports page, get a dog.
- If you want someone who will do anything to please you, get a dog.
- If you want someone who will make a total fool of himself because he is so glad to see you, get a dog.

On the other hand . . .
- If you want someone who never comes when you call him, totally ignores you when you walk in the room, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, prowls around all night and comes home only to eat and sleep all day, and acts as though you are there only to see that he is happy . . . get a cat.

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Dogs have lived with humans for more than 14,000 years. Cats have lived with humans for only 7,000 years.

A dog thinks: Wow, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . They are amazing! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . I am amazing!

“Cat people are different, to the extent that they generally are not conformist. How could they be, with a cat running their lives?” -Louis J. Camuti

Every cat thinks he’s the cat’s meow, until he hears the dog’s bark, at which time he high-tails himself out of there.

Fuzzy: Why do you need a license for a dog and not for a cat?
Bowzer: Because cats cannot drive.

Cat brains are biologically more similar to human brains than they are to dog brains. Both humans and cats have identical regions in their brains that are responsible for emotions.

“A dog is a dog, but a cat is a purrrrson.” -Author Unknown

“Dogs have masters, cats have support staff.” -Author Unknown

“When you have a cat, you can never be quite sure which one of you is the pet, or as someone once said, cats make great pets - out of their owners.” -Author Unknown

Cats can make more than 100 different vocal sounds. Dogs make only about 10. Conclusion: Cats talk too much - unless you have one of those dogs that barks all day and all night, of course . . . arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf . . .

“Cats make ‘purrrfectly’ marvelous pets, but dogs make ‘doggone’ good pets.” -Author Unknown

“Dogs come when they’re called. Cats take a message and get back to you.” -Mary Bly

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Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary and a Cat’s Diary

The Dog’s Diary:
Day number 180
8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite!
10:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Yard! My Favorite!
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
5:00 PM - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
5:30 PM - Oh Boy! Mom! My Favorite!
Day number 181
8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite!
10:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Yard! My Favorite!
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
5:00 PM - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
5:30 PM - Oh Boy! Mom! My Favorite!
Day number 182
8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite!
10:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Yard! My Favorite!
1:30 pm - Ooooooo. Bath. Bummer.
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
5:00 PM - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
5:30 PM - Oh Boy! Mom! My Favorite!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary
Day 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Day 761 - Today my attempt to thwart my captors and escape by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again scratched their favorite chair . . . I must try this on their favorite lampshade.
Day 765 - Pounced on a mouse and brought it to them, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was . . . Hmmm, this is not working according to plan.
Day 768 - I am finally aware of how cruel they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning foamy chemical called shampoo. What horrible minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
Day 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
Day 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be tattle-tales. The dog is routinely released and seems more than a little happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his present placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

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Perhaps dogs chase cars because of their herding instinct: A dog sees your vehicle pulling away from the rest of the vehicles parked alongside the curbs and in the driveways. The dogs thinks, “One of them is straying from the rest of the flock, I must get it back with the others! Woof, woof!”

Would you rather be a dog and chase cars that you will never catch, or be a cat and climb trees and get stuck in them?

“The cat could very well be man’s best friend, but would never stoop to admitting it.” -Doug Larson (1902 - 1981)

Furball: How can you get a cat to do tricks?
Fido: Put a dog in a cat suit.

“Chaos: What happens when a dog person marries a cat person.” -Author Unknown

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Dog and Cat Owners Have Different Personalities

Dog owners and cat owners are as different as night and day, says an expert - who reveals the distinctive personality traits of each. People are like their pets, said Dr. Vinsey, Professor of Anthropology at Pace University in New York City, who made a six-year study of pets and their owners.

Dr. Vinsey characterizes dog owners this way:
- They tend to be more outgoing and sociable and they are more apt to be openly affectionate.
- Dog owners are more generous and helpful. They are more ambitious and assertive and more apt to take risks to reach their goals.
- Dog owners are more ‘outdoorsy’ - they love to tramp the hills, go camping, and participate in active, energetic sports.

Cat owners are a different type says Dr. Vinsey:
- They tend to be well-read, articulate and cultured and more imaginative, creative and curious than dog owners.
- They are more apt to be loners. They enjoy privacy and tend to be aloof until they know someone well.
- Cat lovers are comfort lovers and tend to pamper themselves. They’re more finicky and choosy, have exotic tastes and are nonconformists. They also tend to be more opinionated and independent.
- Cat owners are indoor people. Their greatest joy is to curl up in front of a fire with a good book or a television miniseries to view.

But both cat and dog owners are far more flexible than people who don’t own pets, said the doctor. They take a less rigid approach to life and adjust more easily to changes in plans or circumstances, she said.

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“Cat’s Motto: No matter what you’ve done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.” -Author Unknown

Dogs are mentioned 44 times in “The Bible,” 35 times in the ‘Old Testament,’ and 9 times in the ‘New Testament.’ Curiously, cats are not mentioned anywhere in “The Bible.”

Cat hearing is better than dog hearing. Cats can hear sounds up to two octaves higher than humans can hear - but they will never tell you this, preferring to keep this ability exclusively for their own benefit.

Proof that cats are smarter than dogs: You will never find a dozen cats pulling a sled through the snow. They know the best place to be in the winter is curled up in front of the fireplace.

“As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.” -Ellen Perry Berkeley

While cats have only about 473 taste buds and do not have a ‘sweet tooth,’ dogs have about 1,700 taste buds, and appear to like sweets much more than cats do. Humans have approximately 9,000 taste buds.

“A dog, I have always said, is prose; a cat is a poem.” -Jean Burden

Good news: You do not have to choose between having a pet cat or having a pet dog - just get six of each, and then you’ll have an even dozen . . . your neighbors will not know if they should call you the eccentric cat person, the eccentric dog person, or the zookeeper!

Information appearing on the Make Fun Of Life! Website is most likely fictitious . . . Any resemblance to actual facts is probably coincidental . . . including the line you have just read . . .

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Waiting and Patience

11/21/2020

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Everybody’s waiting for something . . .

“Good things come to those who wait - but better things come to those who work for it.” -Author Unknown

“I was not born to wait.” -Gwenda Bond: “Double Down” (1 May 2016)

“I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“Beware the Fury of a Patient Man.” -John Dryden (1631 - 1700): “Absalom and Achitophel” (1681), Part 1, line 1005; type of work: satiric poem

“Patience is the ability to count down without blasting off.” -Author Unknown

“You’re trying to eat grass that isn’t there. Why don’t you give it a chance to grow?” -Richard Adams (1920 - 2016): “Watership Down” (November 1972)

Pay-Off

All things may come
To those who wait,
But when they do,
They’re out of date.

by George Hill

“If you are patient in a moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” -Author Unknown

“Be patient with your impatience.” -Roy Masters (born 1928 as Reuben Obermeister)

“The secret of patience is to do something else in the meantime.” -Croft M. Pentz (Croft Miner Pentz (1931 -2008))

“Things come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle*.” -attributed to Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
* hustle: to put forth effort energetically.

“What is done hastily is not done well.” -Author Unknown

“Everything comes too late for those who only wait.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

Overheard: Patience is something that can only be learned by waiting.

“‘Patience is a virtue’ is always said by those who make others wait, and never by those who must wait.” -Author Unknown

“There is, however, a limit at which forbearance ceases to be a virtue.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797): “Observations on a Late Publication on the Present State of the Nation”

“The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.” -Arnold H. Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“Patience is powerful.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

“How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young?” -Paul Sweeney (born 1955)

“In putting off what one has to do, one runs the risk of never being able to do it.” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)

Once upon a time, there was a man who was very impatient with other people. To him, everyone seemed to be too slow to understand and too slow to do the right things. Also to him, people seemed too quick to come to the wrong conclusions and too quick to do the wrong things. The more the man had to deal with people, the more impatient he became with them, so he decided that he must get away from people until he could learn how to be patient. He built himself a little home deep in the woods, and far away from civilization, and lived as a hermit. Years later, a man was hiking through the woods, and met the impatient man. The hiker was amazed to find anyone living so deep in the woods and so far away from the rest of the world, so he asked the man why he was there all by himself. The man said that he was there to learn patience. The hiker asked how long he had been living all alone in the woods, and the man replied, “Thirty-one years.” Stunned, the hiker asked, “If there are no other people around you, how will you know when you have learned to be patient?” Annoyed by this lengthy conversation, the impatient man replied, “Go away, I have no time for you.”

“You will develop patience if you wait long enough.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is also a form of action.” -Auguste Rodin (also known as François Auguste René Rodin or Auguste-René Rodin (1840 - 1917))

Macrophobia is a fear of long waits. Personally, we are afraid of short waits. “The dentist will see you now.” “Oh, no . . . couldn’t we wait just a little longer?”

“Lateness is rudeness - always. There is no such thing as being ‘fashionably late.’ If you are running late, call to let your host know.” -Author Unknown

‘Hurry up and wait!’ could be the slogan of many individuals and organizations. Military people are familiar with this saying. People with government appointments may have heard this saying. People with medical appointments may suspect that this is what is going on. You make all kinds of advance preparations in order to be absolutely certain that you have everything ready that they require, and you make sure that you are not just on time, but at least a few minutes early - and what happens? You are made to wait for hours, because the people who insisted that you show up prepared and on time did not make the same efforts to be sure they were prepared and on time to meet you! It can be hard not to feel that these people do not respect you and that they are stealing your time away from you.

“Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.” -John Quincy Adams (1767 - 1848)

“All things come to those who wait - provided they work continually while waiting.” -Author Unknown

“Patience with others is love. Patience with self is hope. Patience with God is faith.” -Adel Bestavros (Adel Azer Bestavros (1924 - 2005))

“Men count up the faults of those who keep them waiting.” -Author Unknown: French proverb

“How poor are they who have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Othello” (1603), Act ii, scene 3

Overheard: Thank you for your patience.

“Patience is the greatest of all virtues.” -Cato the Elder (Marcus Porcius Cato (233 B.C.E. - 148 B.C.E.))

“Punctuality is the stern virtue of men of business, and the graceful courtesy of princes.” -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)

“If you have been waiting for someone or something for so long that you can actually feel yourself getting older while you wait, then you know that you have been waiting too long.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“An over-taxed patience gives way to fierce anger.” [translation to English]
“Furor fit læsa sæpius patientia.” [original Latin]
-Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): “Sententiae,” Maxim 289

“Patience will come to him who waits for it.” -Author Unknown

“If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb

“Patience is a key element of success.” -Bill Gates (born 1955)

“It is better to have a hen tomorrow than an egg today.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734)

“There is nothing to be gained by waiting for a better situation. You see where you are and you do what you can with that.” -Jacob K. Javits (Jacob Koppel Javits (1904 - 1986))

“Patience is not simply the ability to wait. It’s how we behave while we’re waiting.” -Joyce Meyer (born 1943 as Pauline Joyce Hutchison)

“If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.” -Larry McMurtry (born 1936): “Some Can Whistle” (1989)

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” [translation to English]
“La patience est amère, mais son fruit est doux.” [original French]
-Jean Chardin (1643 - 1713): “Voyages en Perse et autres lieux de l’Orient” (1711), page 175

“Our patience will achieve more than our force.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797): “Reflections on the Revolution in France” (1790)

“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself.” -Francis de Sales (1567 - 1622)

“Abused Patience turns to Fury.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 757

“When you are tempted to lose patience with someone, think how patient God has been with you all the time.” -Author Unknown

“You can chase a butterfly all over the field and never catch it. But if you sit quietly in the grass it will come and sit on your shoulder.” -Author Unknown

“No great thing is created suddenly.” -Epictetus (C.E. 55 - C.E. 135)

“Patience means self-suffering.” -Mahatma Gandhi (Mohandas Karamchand ‘Mahatma’ Gandhi (1869 - 1948))

“Waiting is one thing, but when people force us to wait for an exorbitant amount of time, they are actually taking a part of our lives away from us, because time is a measure of life.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“He that can have patience can have what he will.” -Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790): “Poor Richard’s Almanack” (June 1736)

“Even the nicest person’s patience has a limit.” -Author Unknown

“I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.” -E. V. Lucas (Edward Verrall Lucas (1868 - 1938)): “365 Days and One More” (1926), ‘October 3’

“Patience is the art of hoping.” [translation to English]
“La patience est l’art d’espérer.” [original French]
-Luc de Clapiers, Marquis de Vauvenargues (1715 - 1747): “Réflexions” (1746), CCLI

“Patience and tenacity of purpose are worth more than twice their weight of cleverness.” -T. H. Huxley (Thomas Henry Huxley (1825 - 1895))

“Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.” -Guy Kawasaki (Guy Takeo Kawasaki (born 1954))

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.” -David G. Allen (born 1945)

“If you wait until all the lights are ‘green’ before you leave home, you’ll never get started on your trip to the top.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“When you are tempted to lose patience with God, remember how patient God has been with you.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is a virtue. The Moon and the Sun learned long ago that, if each patiently waits its turn, they will both have their chance to shine.” -Author Unknown

“Please be patient. God has not finished with me yet.” -Author Unknown

“Good things come to those who believe, better things come to those who are patient, and the best things come to those who don’t give up.” -Author Unknown

This is life’s dilemma and it is sure as fate
Some things can’t be hurried and other things can’t wait.
-Author Unknown

Overheard: Good things take time.

“Patience is the companion of wisdom.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis and Aurelius Augustine (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430))

“Your capacity for patience will be rewarded eventually.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is the ability to let your light shine after your fuse has blown.” -Bob Levey

“A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.” -George Savile (also known as Lord Halifax (1633 - 1695))

“Even a waiter finally comes to him who waits.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is the ability to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without becoming angry or upset.” -Author Unknown

“The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.” -Author Unknown

“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

The two most common meanings of patience are as follows.
1. To wait without being frustrated, angry, complaining, and so forth.
2. To understandingly bear with the faults of others.

“Impatience can cause wise people to do foolish things.” -Janette Oke (born 1935)

“I feel like I’m waiting for something that isn’t going to happen.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is a necessary ingredient of genius.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“People wait all week for Friday, all year for Summer, all of a lifetime for happiness.” -Author Unknown

“Impatience never commanded success.” -Edwin H. Chapin (Edwin Hubbell Chapin (1814 - 1880))

A little boy was standing patiently at the bottom of an escalator in a big department store. A saleswoman asked him, “Sonny, are you lost?” The boy answered, “No ma’am, I’m waiting for my chewing gum to come back.”

“The man who is waiting for something to turn up might start on his shirt sleeves.” -Garth Henrichs (Garth Harold Henrichs, Senior (1903 - 2002))

“Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

Overheard: Be patient with people - nobody is perfect.

“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

We would be flattering ourselves if we said that this topic was certainly worth waiting for . . . more fun and learning continues next . . . on MFOL!

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Ships and Sailors

11/18/2020

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Across the mighty seas they sailed, in tiny wooden ships, pushed along by the currents in the water and the currents in the air . . . Are we there yet? How much longer is this going to take? Is that what a sea monster is supposed to look like?

Iron Men and Wooden Ships

Said a salty old skipper from Wales,
“Number One, it’s all right to chew nails.
     It impresses the crew,
     It impresses me, too.
But stop spitting holes in the sails!”

by John Ciardi (John Anthony Ciardi (1916 - 1986))

“Land was created to provide a place for boats to visit.” -Brooks Atkinson (Justin Brooks ‘Brooks’ Atkinson (1894 - 1984))

Never a ship sails out of the bay
     But carries my heart as a stowaway.
-Roselle Mercier Montgomery (1874 - 1933): “Ulysses Returns, and Other Poems” (1925), ‘The Stowaway’

“Sailors, with their built in sense of order, service, and discipline, should really be running the world.” -Nicholas Monsarrat (Nicholas John Turney Monsarrat (1910 - 1979))

“It is not the ship so much as the skillful sailing that assures the prosperous voyage.” -George William Curtis (1824 - 1892)

“If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it!” -Jonathan Winters (Jonathan Harshman Winters III (1925 - 2013))

Math Problem: A ship has a ladder with twelve rungs, and each rung is a foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water’s surface. The tide rises at 12 inches every 15 minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at its highest, how many rungs will be under water?
Solution: None; as the tide rises, the ship and the ladder attached to it will rise with the tide.

“When a man comes to like a sea life, he is not fit to live on land.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

Ships

Little ships
     Must keep to the shore;
Larger ships
     May venture more.

by Author Unknown

“Out of sight of land the sailor feels safe. It is the beach that worries him.” -Charles G. Davis (Charles Gerard Davis (1870 - 1959))

“Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.” [translation to English]
“In tranquillo esse quisque gubernator potest.” [original Latin]
-Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): “Sententiae,” Maxim 358

“Sailing ships: Mast transit.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are for.” -John A. Shedd (John Augustus Shedd (1859 - 1928)): “Salt from My Attic” (1928), page 20 (similar quotation attributed to William G. T. Shedd)

“These tall and handsome ships, swaying imperceptibly on tranquil waters, these sturdy ships, with their inactive, nostalgic appearance, don’t they say to us in a speechless tongue: When do we cast off for happiness?” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)

“Two captains will sink the ship.” -Author Unknown: Turkish proverb

“Too many captains run the ship aground.” -Author Unknown: Greek proverb
(Similar to: “Too many cooks spoil the broth.” -Author Unknown)

“You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don’t let yourself indulge in vain wishes.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

“Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.” -Author Unknown

“However bad the storm you are in, there is still Sun somewhere over your horizon.” -Ken Nutt (Ken Eric Nutt (born 1951))

“When in danger or in doubt, port your helm and come about.” -Author Unknown

“All the water in the world, however hard it tries, can never sink the smallest ship unless it gets inside, and all the evil in the world, the blackest kind of sin, can never hurt you in the least, unless you let it in.” -Author Unknown

“In a calm sea every man is a pilot.” -Author Unknown: Spanish proverb

A shipwrecked sailor spent nearly three years on a desert island. One morning he was overjoyed to see a ship in the bay and a boat pulling onto shore. As the boat grounded on the beach, an officer jumped out and threw the sailor a pile of newspapers. “The captain’s compliments,” said the officer, “and will you please read through these and let him know whether you still wish to be rescued?”

A fully loaded supertanker traveling at normal speed takes a least 20 minutes to come to a full stop.

Danny: Why couldn’t the sailors play cards?
Tammy: Because the captain was standing on the deck.

“Men in a ship are always looking up, and men ashore are usually looking down.” -John Masefield (1878 - 1967)

The right side of a ship is called the starboard side because astronavigators would stand out on the plank (which was on the right side) to get an unobstructed view of the stars. The left side is called the port side because that is the side put in on at ports. Fore refers to the front or forward part of a ship, and aft refers to the back, or after part of a ship.

“A man should learn to sail in all winds.” -Author Unknown: Italian proverb

“I don’t know who named them swells. There’s nothing swell about them. They should have named them awfuls.” -Hugo Vihlen (born 1931)

“Ships are the nearest things to dreams that hands have ever made.” -Robert N. Rose

The first sailing boats were built in ancient Egypt.

“A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.” -John George Hermanson (1866 - 1944)

“Ships don’t sink because of the water around them. Ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.” -Author Unknown

Friendship: A ship full of friends.

Mary: What kind of ship doesn’t sink?
Gary: A friendship.

“There are big ships and small ships. But the best ship of all is friendship.” -Author Unknown

“To sail is necessary.” [translation to English]
“Navigare necesse est.” [original Latin]
-Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus (5th century C.E.)

“The winds and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.” -Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794): “The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire” (1776 - 1789), Volume 1 (1776), Chapter 68

Jen: Why do sailors have trouble learning the alphabet?
Ben: Because ships sail from A to B with sea between.

“The goal is not to sail the boat, but rather to help the boat sail herself.”
-John Rousmaniere (born 1944)

Sally: What sits on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
Salvador: A nervous wreck.

“The sea is the same as it has been since before men ever went on it in boats.” -Ernest Hemingway (Ernest Miller Hemingway (1899 - 1961))

“A small hole can sink a big ship.” -Author Unknown: Russian proverb

Mackerel skies and mares tails,
Soon will be time to shorten sails.
-Author Unknown

“To reach a port, we must sail - sail, not lie at anchor - sail, not drift.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt (Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882 - 1945))

Riddle:
I fly to any foreign parts,
     Assisted by my spreading wings:
My body holds an hundred hearts,
     Nay, I will tell you stranger things:
When I am not in haste I ride,
     And then I mend my pace anon;
I issue fire from my side:
     You witty youths, this riddle answer.
Solution:
I am a sailing ship.

“Don’t let the fear of a storm keep you from sailing the ship.” -Calyn Whitley

“If my ship sails from sight, it doesn’t mean my journey ends, it simply means the river bends.” -J. Enoch Powell (John Enoch ‘Enoch’ Powell (1912 - 1998))

“The good seaman is known in bad weather.” -Author Unknown

“Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea.” -Charles Cook

“A sailor without a destination cannot hope for a favorable wind.” -Leon Tec (1919 - 2013)

“‘A man who is not afraid of the sea will soon be drownded,’ he said, ‘for he will be going out on a day he shouldn’t. But we do be afraid of the sea, and we do only be drownded now and again.’” -John Millington Synge (1871 - 1909): “The Aran Islands” (1907)

Two ships were loaded with cargoes of paint. One had red paint, and the other had blue paint. The ships collided. At last report, the survivors were marooned.

“I keep sailing on in this middle passage. I am sailing into the wind and the dark. But I am doing my best to keep my boat steady and my sails full.” -Arthur Ashe (1943 - 1993)

Horatio Nelson, one of England’s most illustrious admirals, was throughout his lifetime never able to find a cure for his seasickness.

“No wind is a good wind if you don’t know where the harbor is.” -Author Unknown: proverb

“Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Make not your sail too big for your ballast.” -Author Unknown: English proverb

The Titanic was built in Belfast, Ireland. However, it was not the place where it was built that led to its sinking, or the quality of the work, but the design of the ship that resulted in its sinking.

Red sky by morning, sailor take warning.
Red sky at night, sailor’s delight.
-Author Unknown

“No man can say he has been to sea until he has lost sight of land.” -Author Unknown

1 nautical knot equals 1.852 kilometers, or 1.150 miles, per hour. It does not refer to the knots a sailor ties in a rope.

“At sea, I learned how little a person needs, not how much.” -Robin Lee Graham (born 1949)

“A sailor’s joys are as simple as a child’s.” -Bernard Moitessier (1925 - 1994)

“A small Leak will sink a great Ship.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia” (1732), number 407

“No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“He that will not sail till all dangers are over must never put to sea.” -Thomas Fuller (1608 - 1661)

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A Pleasant Ship

I saw a ship a-sailing,
     A-sailing on the sea,
And oh! it was all laden
     With pretty things for thee!

There were comfits in the cabin,
     And apples in the hold;
The sails were made of silk,
     And the masts were made of gold.

The four-and-twenty sailors
     That stood between the decks
Were four-and-twenty white mice,
     With chains about their necks.

The captain was a duck,
     With a packet on his back,
And when the ship began to move,
     The captain said, “Quack! Quack!”

by Emilie Poulsson (Anne Emilie Poulsson (1853 - 1939))

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“We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails.” -Author Unknown

“There are parts of a ship which taken by themselves would sink. The engine would sink. The propeller would sink. But when the parts of a ship are built together, they float. So with the events of my life. Some have been tragic. Some have been happy. But when they are built together, they form a craft that floats and is going places. And I am comforted.” -Ralph W. Sockman (Ralph Washington Sockman (1889 - 1970))

“Life isn’t about waiting for the winds to change, it’s about learning to adjust your sails.” -Author Unknown

“Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world.” -H. Melville (Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)): “Moby Dick” (1851), opening line

“I wanted freedom, open air, and adventure. I found it on the sea.” -Alaine Gerbault (Alain Jacques Georges Marie Gerbault (1893 - 1941))

In the days of yore, ships sailed over the seas, carrying exotic cargoes and sailors who regaled landlubbers with stories of strange faraway places, much like the strangeness following this topic in the days of now . . . on MFOL!

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Loneliness and Solitude

11/13/2020

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If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you are not alone in what you are experiencing . . . and yet you are alone . . . so very, very alone . . .

“You call it being alone. I call it enjoying my own company.” -Author Unknown

“They are never alone that are accompanied with noble thoughts.” -Philip Sidney (1554 - 1586)

“I was never less alone than when by myself.” -Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794): “Memoir” (1796), Volume 1, page 117

“People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.” -Kim Culbertson

Jered: Why are bananas never lonely?
Derek: Because they hang around in bunches!

Sometimes

Sometimes I like to be alone
And look up at the sky
And think my thoughts inside my head -
Just me, myself, and I.

by Mary Ann Hoberman (born 1930)

“In the silence of night I have often wished for just a few words of love from one man, rather than the applause of thousands of people.” -Judy Garland (Frances Gumm (1922 - 1969)): as quoted in Barbara Rowes: “The Book of Quotes” (1979)

“Dear sidewalk, please get wider. Sincerely, third friend walking behind feeling excluded.” -Author Unknown

“More than any other human problem, loneliness, the absence of meaningful human connection, drains the joy and sense of purpose from our lives. It explains why people go to shopping centers when they have no intention of shopping. They just need to be somewhere where other people are, hoping that among the hundreds of strangers passing by, they will find one familiar face. It explains why people come home from work or school and immediately switch on the television. They are not interested in the program much of the time, they do not even know what is on. But they are desperate for the sound of another human voice in their lives.” -Harold Kushner (Harold Samuel Kushner (born 1935))

“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

“The difference between solitude and loneliness is the quality of the company we keep.” -Author Unknown

How to Cope with Loneliness
- Adopt a pet.
- Take up a hobby or a cause.
- Keep busy with whatever you can find to do.
- Help others or become a volunteer.
- Make friends of strangers.
- Go to places where other people go.
- What can you add to this list?

“There is a French proverb: To live happy, live hidden. Where can Brigitte Bardot hide?” -Brigitte Bardot (born 1934)

“Grant me the ability to be alone, may it be my custom to go outdoors each day among the trees and grasses, among all growing things, and there may I be alone, and enter into prayer to talk with the one that I belong to.” -Nachman of Breslov (1772 - 1810)

There are times when you want to be alone - but the world will not let you alone!

“I never said, ‘I want to be alone.’ I only said, ‘I want to be left alone.’ There is all the difference.” -Greta Garbo (Greta Lovisa Gustafsson (1905 - 1990))

“Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius.” -Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794)

“Loneliness is the way by which destiny endeavors to lead man to himself.” -Hermann Hesse (1877 - 1962): “Reflections” (1974), number 196

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” -Joseph F. Newton (Joseph Fort Newton (1878 - 1949))

“The pain of loneliness is normal, and is felt by everyone, and is nature’s way of telling us that we are meant to be with others of our own kind.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I like to be alone, but I dislike being lonely.” -Author Unknown

“One can acquire everything in solitude - except character.” -Stendhal (pseudonym of Marie-Henri Beyle (1783 - 1842))

A guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (a one-hundred-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for its house. He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to a restaurant to have a meal. “Would you like to go to Frank’s Diner with me and have a bite to eat?” he asked the centipede in the box. But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, “How about going out and having a snack with me?” But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time - this time putting his face up against the centipede’s house and shouting, he said, “Hey, in there! Would you like to go get some food with me?” A tiny little voice came squeaking out of the box in reply, “I heard you the first time! I’m putting on my shoes.”

“It is strange to be known so universally and yet be so lonely.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“Loneliness is the most terrible poverty.” -Teresa of Calcutta (Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997))

“Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self.” -May Sarton (pseudonym of Eleanore Marie Sarton (1912 - 1995))

“Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.” -Paul Tournier

“The finest hours of life are not those spent among groups of people, but in good conversation with a few, in reading good books, in listening to great music, wandering in a forest of giant Sequoias, peering into a microscope, unraveling Nature’s secrets in a laboratory. The men who have the most to give their fellow men are those who have enriched their minds and hearts in solitude. It is a poor education that does not fit a man to be alone with himself.” -Joel Henry Hildebrand

“No greater burden can be borne by an individual than to know none who cares or understands.” -Arthur H. Stainback

“Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone.” -Jarod Kintz (born 1982)

“You keep a lot to yourself because it’s difficult to find people who understand.” -Author Unknown

“If I’m such a legend, why am I so lonely?” -Judy Garland (Frances Gumm (1922 - 1969))

“The quiet and solitary man apprehends the inscrutable. He seeks nothing, holds to the mean, and remains free from entanglements.” -I Ching (B.C.E. 1150)

“One form of loneliness is to have a memory and no one to share it with.” -Phyllis Rose

“Even in the presence of others he was completely alone.” -Robert M. Pirsig (Robert Maynard Pirsig (born 1928))

“It’s better to walk alone, than with a crowd going in the wrong direction.” -Diane Grant

“The truth is that we all know something about loneliness, and that includes even those who might not know what they are feeling when they feel lonely.” -Author Unknown

“My husband, a forester, often has to consult property owners to determine boundary lines. Walking up a dirt road to question one such individual, he encountered signs reading, ‘No Trespassing,’ ‘Beware of Dog,’ and ‘Keep Out - This Means You!’ Finally, arriving at the door, he talked with the congenial, cooperative landowner. When my husband was ready to leave, the man said to him, ‘Come and see me again sometime. I don’t get many visitors up this way.’ The lesson is simple: Ask yourself, am I lonely because of the ‘messages’ I am sending out?” -Author Unknown

“The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness.” -Norman Cousins (1915 - 1990)

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“City life: Millions of people being lonesome together.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone.” -Henrik Ibsen (Henrik Johan ‘Henrik’ Ibsen (1828 - 1906))

“What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans, also known as Marian Evans Cross (1819 - 1880)): “Middlemarch” (1871)

“The lonely one offers his hand too quickly to whomever he encounters.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“Learn to enjoy your own company. You are the one person you can count on living with for the rest of your life.” -Ann Richards

William Osler (1849 - 1919), visiting one of London’s leading children’s hospitals, noticed that in a convalescent ward all the children were clustered at one end of the room dressing their dolls, playing games, and playing in the sandbox - all except for one little girl, who sat forlornly on the edge of her high, narrow bed, clutching a cheap doll. The great physician looked at the lonely little figure, then at the ward nurse. “We’ve tried to get Susan to play,” the nurse whispered, “but the other children just won’t have anything to do with her. You see, no one comes to see her. Her mother is deceased, and her father has been here just once - he brought her that doll. The children have a strange code. Visitors mean so much. If you don’t have any visitors, you are ignored.” William walked over to the child’s bed and asked in a voice loud enough for the others to hear, “May I sit down, please?” The little girl’s eyes lit up. “I can’t stay very long this visit,” Osler went on, “but I have wanted to see you so badly.” For five minutes he sat talking with her, even inquiring about her doll’s health and solemnly pulling out his stethoscope to listen to the doll’s chest. And as he left, he turned to the youngster and said in a carrying voice, “You won’t forget our secret, will you? - and mind, don’t tell anyone.” At the door he looked back. His new friend was now the center of a curious and admiring throng.

“When you have shut your doors and darkened your room, remember never to say that you are alone; for you are not alone, but God is within and your genius is within.” -Epictetus (C.E. 55 - C.E. 135)

“Great minds are like eagles and build their nest in some lofty solitude.” -Arthur Schopenhauer

“Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.” -Paul Tillich (Paul Johannes Tillich (1886 - 1965)): “The Eternal Now,” page 11

“One of the most important things you can do on this Earth is to let people know they are not alone.” -Shannon L. Alder

Just as no day is complete without some fun in it, a trip around the internet is never complete without visiting MFOL! . . .

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Manners and Etiquette

11/8/2020

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When people speak of ‘quaint old-fashioned manners,’ they seem as if by magic to reappear . . .

Magic Words

There are three little magic words
     That will open any door with ease.
Two little words are “Thank you!”
     And the other little word is “Please!”

by Author Unknown

Elvis: May I have an apple?
Sylvia: What is the magic word?
Elvis: Abracadabra?

“Politeness and consideration for others is like investing pennies and getting dollars back.” -Thomas Sowell (born 1930)

Too Polite

Broad met Stout
At the gate, and each
Was too polite to brush past.
“After you!” said Broad.
“After you!” said Stout.
They got in a dither
And went through together
And both
stuck
fast.

by Ian Serraillier (1912 - 1994)

“The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.” -Fred Astaire (pseudonym of Frederick Austerlitz (1899 - 1987))

Lawrence: What do well-behaved young lambs say to their mothers?
Florence: “Thank ewe!”

Al: When you yawn, you are supposed to put your hand over your mouth!
Lex: What, and get bitten?!

“Good manners and soft words have brought many a difficult thing to pass.” -John Vanbrugh (1664 - 1726)

Etiquette is the glue that holds society together. It enables people to get on with other human beings without causing offense. It is manners, codified, or formalized. By learning a number of the various rules of etiquette, a person will eventually begin to understand the basic concept and perhaps perceive the overall underlying common thread that makes up the pattern, sometimes called ‘the Golden Rule.’

Netiquette: Manners on the internet, such as not using all-caps, or all-capital letters, which is referred to as, ‘SHOUTING!’

When it comes to jokes and funny stories, before you growl, “I’ve heard that one before,” consider this: Do you stop a pianist who is playing Chopin because you have heard that musical piece before?

Overheard: Try being nice to people, even if it does scare them a little bit at first.

Three Nice Mice

Three nice mice!
     Three nice mice!
See how nice they are!
     See how nice they are!
They’re always polite when they nibble their cheese;
     They never forget to say thank you and please;
They cover their noses whenever they sneeze -
     Ahhh ahhh ahhh-choo! (pretend sneeze)
Three nice mice!
     Three nice mice!

by Author Unknown: can be sung to the same melody as that of “Three Blind Mice”

Etiquette and manners vary greatly geographically, culturally, religiously, and by economic classes all around the world. There are even variations by generation or age, gender, trade or profession, subculture, other group identity, and other factors. ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do’ is an old proverb that means one should respect and follow local laws, customs, and manners.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Elbows.
Elbows, who?
Elbows off the table, please!

“Good manners will often take people where neither money nor education will take them.” -Author Unknown

“Manners make man.” [Modern English translation]
“Manners makyth man.” [original Middle English]
-William of Wykeham (1320 - 1404); adopted as the motto of Winchester College and New College in Oxford, England

Overheard: Politeness is an inexpensive way of making friends.

“Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without comment is a wonderful social grace.” -Miss Manners (Judith Martin (born 1938))

“I don’t recall your name, but your manners are familiar.” -Oliver Herford (1863 - 1935)

“He was so generally civil, that nobody thanked him for it.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“Hail the small sweet courtesies of life, for smooth do they make the road of it.” -Laurence Sterne (1713 - 1768)

“Manners are of more importance than laws. Manners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, barbarize or refine us, by a constant, steady, uniform, insensible operation, like that of the air we breathe in.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

Mabel: What person do you always take your hat off to?
Abel: The barber.

“Something happens inside of us when we are courteous and deferential toward others. It is all part of a refining process, which if persisted in, will change our very natures.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

Overheard: Be polite to the aged, because you will be one of them soon enough yourself - if you are fortunate.

“Nothing is ever lost by courtesy. It is the cheapest of the pleasures; costs nothing and conveys much. It pleases him who gives and him who receives, and thus, like mercy, is twice blessed.” -Erastus Wiman (1834 - 1904): “Chances of Success” (1893)

“Good manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.” -Bennett Cerf (1898 - 1971)

“We must recall the most humanitarian guideline of all: be polite. Being polite is possibly the greatest daily contribution everyone can make to life on Earth.” -Caitlin Moran: “How to be a Woman” (16 June 2011)

Jimmy: Don’t you want to be well-mannered and polite?
Jenny: No, thank you!

“Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.” -Author Unknown

Do you recall those quaint old customs and manners of yesteryear? Tip your hats to the ladies, gentlemen. Girls curtsy, and boys bow. A gentleman always has a handkerchief to offer to a lady. A lady drops her handkerchief so that a gentleman can pick it up and hand it to her, a ruse used by the lady to get the gentleman to say a word to her. Gentlemen had calling cards, which they would leave so that people could contact them later. People smiled at strangers as they passed, and often greeted them, as for example, saying, “How do you do?” Well, don’t be sad at their passing - times haven’t changed so much - what’s old can be new again; all it takes is for you to demonstrate the newer versions of these acts yourself when opportunities avail themselves to you, and continue doing them until others begin to emulate you.

“Good manners are just a way of showing other people that we have respect for them.” -Bill Kelly

“One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))

“Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.” -Clarence Thomas (born 1948)

“Should you happen to notice that another person is extremely tall or overweight, eats too much or declines convivial drinks, has red hair, or goes about in a wheelchair, ought to get married or ought not to be pregnant - see if you can refrain from bringing these astonishing observations to that person’s attention.” -Miss Manners (Judith Martin (born 1938)), as quoted in William Safire and Leonard Safir: “Words of Wisdom: More Good Advice” (1989)

“Dressing well is a form of good manners.” -Tom Ford

“Your mood should not dictate your manners.” -Author Unknown

“Associate with well-manner persons and your manners will improve. Run around with decent folk and your own decent instincts will be strengthened.” -Stanley Walker (1898 - 1962)

“Politeness is the art of choosing among one’s real thoughts.” -Madame de Staël (Anna Maria Louis Germaine Necker (1766 - 1817)): as quoted in Abel Stevens (1815 - 1897): “Madame de Staël” (1881)

“Politeness a sign of dignity, not subservience.” -Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919)

“A man has no more right to say an uncivil thing than to act one; no more right to say a rude thing to another than to knock him down.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“A Man without Ceremony has need of great Merit in its Place.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 315

“Manners easily and rapidly mature into morals.” -Horace Mann (1796 - 1859)

“I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners. I don’t like them myself. They’re pretty bad. I grieve over them on long Winter evenings.” -Humphrey Bogart (Humphrey DeForest ‘Bogey’ Bogart (1899 - 1957))

“Politeness makes one appear outwardly as they should be within.” -Jean de la Bruyère (1645 - 1696)

“Visitors should behave in such a way that the host and hostess feel at home.” -J. S. Farynski (Jerzy Stanislaw Farynski)

“He is the very pineapple of politeness!” -Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751 - 1816)

“The knowledge of courtesy and good manners is a very necessary study. It is like grace and beauty, that which begets liking and an inclination to love one another at the first sight.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)): “Essais” (“Essays”) (1595), Book 1, chapter 7

“Politeness costs nothing and gains everything.” -Mary Montagu (Mary Wortley Montagu (1689 - 1762)): letter (30 May 1756) to Mary, Countess of Bute

“Every generation is convinced there has been a deplorable breakdown of manners.” -Byron Dobell (1927 - 2017)

“Politeness is the flower of humanity.” -Joseph Joubert (1754 - 1824)

“Good manners sometimes means simply putting up with other people’s bad manners.” -H. Jackson Brown (Harriett Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940))

“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” -Emily Post (1873 - 1960): as attributed in Matthew Gara: “Hey! Let’s Talk It Over” (1967)

“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983): “The Passionate State of Mind” (1955)

“All Doors open to Courtesy.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 512

“To be a successful hostess, when guests arrive say, ‘At last!’ and when they leave say, ‘So soon!’” -Author Unknown

“Being nice to someone you dislike doesn’t mean you’re fake. It means you are mature enough to tolerate your dislike towards them.” -Author Unknown

“We cannot always oblige; but we can always speak obligingly.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“Fine manners need the support of fine manners in others.” -Douglas Jerrold (Douglas William Jerrold (1803 - 1857))

“Good manners must be inspired by the good heart. There is no beautifier of complexion, or form, or behavior, like the wish to scatter joy and not pain around us.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Anyone can be polite to a king. It takes a gentleman to be polite to a beggar.” -Author Unknown

“True politeness consists in being easy one’s self, and in making every one about one as easy as one can.” -Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744)

“Etiquette is all human social behavior. If you’re a hermit on a mountain, you don’t have to worry about etiquette; if somebody comes up the mountain, then you’ve got a problem. It matters because we want to live in reasonably harmonious communities.” -Miss Manners (Judith Martin (born 1938))

“The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones.” -Gabirol (Solomon Ibn Gabirol (about 1022 - 1058))

“We’ve learned to dress for success, to speak for success. Now we need to learn how to behave for success.” -Marjabelle Young Stewart (1924 - 2007)

“Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“To sleep when others speak, to sit when others stand, to walk on when others stay, to speak when one should hold his peace, or hear others, are all things of ill manners.” -Francis Hawkins (1628 - 1624)

Manners

We say, “Thank you.”
     We say, “Please.”
We don’t interrupt or tease.
     We don’t argue. We don’t fuss.
We listen when folks talk to us.
     We share our toys and take our turn.
Good manners aren’t too hard to learn.
     It’s really easy, when you find
Good manners means
     Just being kind!

by Author Unknown

“Politeness is to do and say the nicest thing in the nicest way.” -Author Unknown

Goodness, how well-mannered you are! You must have had a very good upbringing, or you have taught yourself very well. Perhaps you can teach us a few of your ways of politeness . . . and be sure to come by for a visit from time to time . . . on your way to greatness . . . this is MFOL!

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Loners and Singles

11/5/2020

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“The four food groups for singles are: fast, frozen, junk, and spoiled.” -Author Unknown

“We are a select group, without personal obligation, social encumbrance, or any socks that match.” -P. J. O’Rourke (Patrick Jake O’Rourke (born 1947)): “The Bachelor Home Companion” (1987)

“Maybe ‘loner’ is too strong a word, but I’ve always enjoyed being on my own.” -George Best (1946 - 2005)

Overheard: I am not single - I’m between relationships . . . I am not single - I am romantically challenged. There was a time when people called single men bachelors and single women spinsters or old maids. Nowadays, you may call an unmarried adult ‘unattached’ - but you may not call them ‘incomplete’ because apparently, they really do not appreciate that!

“Single: A partial-person.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“The trouble with living alone is that it’s always your turn to do the dishes.” -Author Unknown

“A bachelor, in my opinion, is only half alive.” -Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756 - 1791)

“Hermits United. We meet up every ten years and swap stories about caves. It’s good fun . . . for a hermit.” -Author Unknown: “Doctor Who”

Loner: A party of one; a person who knows what ‘alone in a crowd’ means.

“You are what you eat. For example, if you eat garlic you’re apt to be a hermit.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980))

“People assume I’m a loner by choice. They think I’m antisocial, when the truth is I’m terrified of people because I’m kind and sensitive and people tend to walk all over me.” -Author Unknown

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Lone Dog

I’m a lean dog, a keen dog, a wild dog, and lone;
     I’m a rough dog, a tough dog, hunting on my own;
I’m a bad dog, a mad dog, teasing silly sheep;
     I love to sit and bay the Moon, to keep fat souls from sleep.

I’ll never be a lap dog, licking dirty feet,
     A sleek dog, a meek dog, cringing for my meat,
Not for me the fireside, the well-filled plate,
     But shut door, and sharp stone, and cuff and kick, and hate.

Not for me the other dogs, running by my side,
     Some have run a short while, but none of them would bide.
O mine is still the lone trail, the hard trail, the best,
     Wide wind, and wild stars, and hunger of the quest!

by Irene Rutherford McLeod (1891 - 1968)

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“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe unto him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Ecclesiastes,’ chapter 4, verses 9 - 10

An old guy who had spent his whole life as a recluse in the desert went to visit a friend. He had never seen a train in his life, but on his way, he happened upon a railroad track. Standing alongside the track, wondering what it was, he heard a loud whistle. Looking around, he saw a train bearing down on him like something out of the Apocalypse. The train just nudged him a glancing blow, but it still flipped him into a ravine, where his head smacked up against a rock and knocked him unconscious. A while later he got up, tenderly felt the bump on his head, shrugged off the dust, and then continued on to his friend’s house, the whole time wondering what that big thing was that had nearly killed him. His friend greeted him, put on a kettle for tea, and they started swapping old stories. A few minutes later, the teakettle started whistling like crazy on the stove and the hermit jumped up in a panic, grabbed a chair, and pounded the whistling teakettle flatter than a pancake. Amazed, his friend asked, “What in the world did you do that for?” The hermit said, “Those things are dangerous. You have to get rid them when they’re small!”

Bumper sticker: Honk If You’re Happily Single!

“A hermit is a deserter from the army of humanity.” -Henry Southgate (1818 - 1888)

A single guy went into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while visiting his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he said, “I’ll just have the Eggs Benedict.” His order came a while later and it was served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asked the waiter, “What’s with the hubcap?” The waiter sang out, “There’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!”

Far in a wild, unknown to public view,
     From youth to age a reverend hermit grew;
The moss his bed, the cave his humble cell,
     His food the fruits, his drink the crystal well,
Remote from man, with God he pass’d the days;
     Prayer all his business, all his pleasure praise.
-Thomas Parnell

“Let me tell you this: If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” -Jodi Picoult (Jodi Lynn Picoult (born 1966)): “My Sister’s Keeper” (6 April 2004) novel

“Now for a little humor for people who are single this holiday season: ‘I don’t live alone . . . I live with my imagination . . . and we have a lot of fun together . . .’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Only solitary men know the full joys of friendship. Others have their family; but to a solitary and an exile, his friends are everything.” -Willa Sibert Cather (born Wilella Sibert Cather (1873 - 1947))

Lone wolf: A wolf that is not in a pack of wolves. When hunting alone, a wolf will catch small animals such as mice, squirrels, hares, chipmunks, raccoons, or rabbits. However, a wolf pack, or a group of wolves, can hunt large animals including deer, moose, caribou, and yaks.

When people live alone, they more easily succumb to the temptation to just ‘let themselves go,’ meaning that they partially or entirely stop engaging in the grooming, dressing, housekeeping, and other habits associated with being someone who is living successfully in a society with other humans.

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The Loner

He never hurried,
     Nor made a fuss.
Just bided his time,
     Would never rush.

He lived his life,
     So frugally.
Saved for rainy days,
     He’d never see.

There was no one,
     To share his life.
No children of his own,
     No love of a wife.

He had no friends,
     Neither enemies.
His self alone,
     Was his only company.

On his tombstone,
     When his life was spent,
Four simple words:
     He came and went.

by John Read (21 August 2012)

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“A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.” -Will Cuppy (William Jacob ‘Will’ Cuppy (1884 - 1949))

Men’s Excuses for Staying Single:
- I do not have to explain why I’m wearing ‘that’ shirt with ‘those’ pants.
- I have saved $372,416.21 that would have been spent on groceries.
- I get to see what my paycheck looks like.
- I get to see what my credit cards look like.
- Bachelors do not have a mother-in-law.
- I do not have to watch sub-titled foreign films.
- I do not have a driving instructor grading me every time I go somewhere.

“Those who understand the true nature of humanity are always loners.” -Dean Cavanagh (born 1966)

Question: Why did the single person cross the road?
Answer: To get away from the married couple that was having an argument.

“It’s just like magic. When you live by yourself, all of your annoying habits are gone.” -Merrill Markoe (born 1948)

“If a hermit lives in a state of ecstasy, his lack of comfort becomes the height of comfort. He must relinquish it.” -Jean Cocteau (1889 - 1963)

“Alone, adjective: In bad company.” -Ambrose Bierce (Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (1842 - 1914))

“I’m a loner as a person, but then I always was, even as a child.” -Bill Bixby (Wilfred Bailey Everett ‘Bill’ Bixby III (1934 - 1993))

Overheard: 1 Universe, 8 planets, 192 countries, 180,497 islands, 85 seas, 7 billion people - and I am still single!

“Please don’t make me sound like a crazy hermit, but I don’t like crowds or noise.” -Steve Burns (Steven Michael Burns (born 1973))

“The reason that a lot of men are bachelors is because they fail to embrace their opportunities.” -Author Unknown

“I was a loner and never hung out with anyone. I never had any friends.” -Richard Pryor (1940 - 2005)

“Singles are people who have convinced themselves that mono, black-and-white, 32-gigabytes is good enough for them, while married people live in high-fidelity stereo, full-color, 128-gigabytes.” -Author Unknown

“Hermits have no peer pressure.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“Sometimes it’s better to be alone because nobody can hurt you.” -Author Unknown

The third week in September is National Singles Week in the United States of America.

Question: What holiday do single people celebrate every day?
Answer: Independence Day!

“The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.” -Pearl S. Buck (Pearl Sydenstricker Buck (1892 - 1973))

Isn’t it interesting that we refer to some people as ‘singles,’ which is a plural noun? And how exactly is it that ‘loners’ also is a plural word?

“I was a loner in high school. I keep to myself, but I love life.” -Clea Duvall (Clea Helen D'Etienne DuVall (born 1977))

When people live alone, they tend to develop certain idiosyncrasies, as for example, adopting dozens of stray animals, or filling an entire room with a collection of empty cardboard boxes. Do not be dismayed, because these are instinctual behaviors, as you try to fill in the ‘gaps’ in your life, which other people typically fill with other people. However, you will need to examine your life if you begin holding parties with your stray animals at which you are the only human in attendance, or you go around the neighborhood at odd hours trying to find more empty cardboard boxes to complete your collection - these behaviors could be ‘cries for help.’ You might want to consider attending the weekly singles group meeting at a church or joining several clubs - just not the clubs where they dress up as vampires and some of the club members seriously believe that they are actual vampires (it should be noted that vampires are creations wholly of human imagination). We hope to see you at this week’s singles group meeting so that we can tell you all about our modest 30,488-piece pinecone collection.

“Deep in my heart I know I am a loner. I have tried to blend in with the world and be sociable, but the more people I meet the more disappointed I am, so I’ve learned to enjoy myself, my family, and a few good friends.” -Steven Aitchison (born 1968), website: https://www.guidedmind.com/

“The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.” -Alan Ashley (Alan Ashley-Pitt, pseudonym of Francis Phillip Wernig (born 1947)): as quoted in Eda LeShan: “The Wonderful Crisis of Middle Age” (1973), page 304

Signs That You May Be Single
- Back in high school you were voted, ‘Most likely to grow old alone, in a big-empty house.’
- Instead of ‘Occupant,’ your junk mail is addressed to ‘Loner.’
- No woman can ever seem to make you feel as alive as you felt at the ‘TrekMania 2014’ convention.
- None of your twenty-three cats ever likes your boyfriend.
- The makers of ‘Frozen Meals for One’ made you their ‘Customer of the Year’ for the seventh consecutive year.
- Who has time for dating when you are building a life-size Spock out of Legos?
- You speak Klingon, which is unfortunately not a very romantic language.
- Online, you suggest the topic, ‘Top Signs You’re Going to Spend the Rest of Your Life Single,’ mistakenly thinking that your equally-hopeless fellow social media contributors might give you some clue as to what you’re doing wrong.
- You will master the art of meeting women as soon as they make a video game about it.
- You are already in line for the next ‘Star Wars’ movie release.

“I don’t hate people, I just feel better when they aren’t around.” -Charles Bukowski (1920 - 1994)

Trevor: If I tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Ian: No, but it does make you a crazy forest hermit!

A Hermit Named Green

There once was a hermit named Green
Who grew so abnormally lean,
     And flat, and compressed,
     That his back touched his chest,
And sideways he couldn’t be seen.

by Author Unknown

“The mind can weave itself warmly in the cocoon of its own thoughts, and dwell a hermit anywhere.” -James Russell Lowell (1819 - 1891)

Hermit: A female hismit.

“Something of the hermit’s temper is an essential element in many forms of excellence, since it enables men to resist the lure of popularity, to pursue important work in spite of general indifference or hostility, and arrive at opinions which are opposed to prevalent errors.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

“But I’ll tell you what hermits realize. If you go off into a far, far forest and get very quiet, you’ll come to understand that you’re connected with everything.” -Alan Watts (1915 - 1973)

What would you say to someone who says to you, “I don’t go out because I have no friends, and I have no friends because I don’t go out.”?

We are MFOL! . . . you would think that we would know what we are doing by now . . . but no . . .

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Quitting and Trying

10/31/2020

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“There is an old saying: ‘If you hang in there long enough, keep trying, and don’t give up, something good is sure to happen.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

You Can Do It

Giving up is easy
     When your dreams seem far away,
And life is full of obstacles,
     You face them every day.
But, no matter what the challenge
     Some faith will get you through it.
So never quit believing,
     Just remember, you can do it!

by Author Unknown

“No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.” -Tony Robbins (Anthony Jay ‘Tony’ Robbins (born 1960))

“I already know what giving up feels like. I want to see what happens if I don’t.” -Neila Rey (born 1986), website https://darebee.com

“Never quit. If you stumble, get back up. What happened yesterday no longer matters. Today is another day. So, get back on track and move closer to your dreams and goals. You can do it.” -Author Unknown

“It’s always too soon to quit!” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“The man who tried his best and failed is superior to the man who never tried.” -Bud Wilkinson (Charles Burnham ‘Bud’ Wilkinson (1916 - 1994))

“Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.” -George E. Woodberry (George Edward Woodberry (1855 - 1930))

“Your biggest break can come from never quitting. Being at the right place at the right time can only happen when you keep moving toward the next opportunity.” -Arthur Pine

“Half the things that people do not succeed in, are through fear of making the attempt.” -James Northcote

“Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.” -Vigil Thomson (1896 - 1989)

“There is no failure except in no longer trying.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“Before you quit, try.” -William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994)

“There’s moments where I want to break down and cry, but not give up.” -Ashlee Simpson

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.” -Cassius Longinus (C.E. 213 - C.E. 273)

“Unless you’re willing to have a go, fail miserably, and have another go, success won’t happen.” -Phillip Adams (Phillip Andrew Hedley Adams (born 1939))

“If you only do what you know you can do, you never do very much.” -Tom Krause (Tom Gunnar Krause (1934 - 2013))

“Try and fail, but don’t fail to try.” -Stephen Kaggwa

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.” -Samuel Beckett (1906 - 1989)

“Don’t give up. One day you will look back and be glad you didn’t.” -Author Unknown

“In every triumph there’s a lot of try.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“Don’t give up. Moses was once a basket case.” -Author Unknown

“No one knows what he can do till he tries.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): “Public Sayings”

“Never let a stumble in the road be the end of the journey.” -Author Unknown

“It doesn’t matter if you try and try and try again, and fail. It does matter if you try and fail, and fail to try again.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“Every accomplishment starts with a decision to try.” -Author Unknown

“If you don’t try, you can’t fail . . . or succeed.” -Author Unknown

“Resolve never to quit, never to give up, no matter what the situation.” -Jack Nicklaus (Jack William Nicklaus (born 1940))

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” -Maya Angelou (Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

“One must learn by doing the thing. For though you think you know it, you have no certainty until you try.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“‘It’s impossible,’ said pride. ‘It’s risky,’ said experience. ‘It’s pointless,’ said reason. ‘Give it a try,’ whispered the heart.” -Author Unknown

“The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized - and never knowing.” -David Viscott (David Steven Viscott (1938 - 1996))

“Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one-yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown.” -Ross Perot (Henry Ross Perot (born 1930))

“Trying will do anything in this world.” -Theocritus (about 300 B.C.E. - after 260 B.C.E.)

“Try something, anything. If it doesn’t work, try something else. The important thing is that you try, and keep on trying, and never give up trying.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will.” -Robert Anthony (Robert Newton Anthony (1916 - 2006))

“Michelangelo stated, ‘The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but it is too low and we reach it.’ Don’t give up. Success is within reach of everyone, as long as you try. As long as someone is willing to take the first step and continue taking steps, success can be realized. In fact, taking that first step could be the greatest success because it is the building block for all steps that follow and all successes that will be realized in your life. Remember, always try, and remember this simple saying. I never see failure as failure, but only an opportunity to practice and perfect my skills as I take the journey to becoming successful at whatever I decide to do.” -Author Unknown

“They fail, and they alone, who have not striven.” -Thomas Bailey Aldrich (1836 - 1907)

“Always remember: All that other folks can do, why with patient persistent trying should not you? Keep that noble chin up and keep trying - wonderful things can happen when we just try! Now, think happy thoughts, put your smile on, and have the best imaginable day!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Many a man never fails because he never tries.” -Norman MacEwan (Norman Duckworth Kerr MacEwan (1881 - 1953))

“If you never try, you will never know.” -Author Unknown

“Life has two rules: Number one, never quit; Number two, always remember rule number one.” -Duke Ellington (1899 - 1974)

“It is better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Learned helplessness is the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn’t matter.” -Martin Seligman (Martin E. P. ‘Marty’ Seligman (born 1942))

“You can’t even be a failure if you’ve never tried.” -Andy Capp

“You’ll never find out what you can do, until you do all you can to find out.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“One does not always do the best there is. One does the best one can.” -Catherine the Great (also known as Catherine II (1729 - 1796))

“Losers quit when they are tired. Winners quit when they have won.” -Author Unknown

“The only failure is a failure to try. Everything else is just learning.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Have you ever considered the cost of quitting? For a real eye opener . . . ask Thomas Edison . . . Steve Jobs . . . Michael Jordan . . . or Jim Carrey . . . ask them how much it would have cost them if they had quit . . . what about you?” -Doug Firebaugh (born 1968)

Overheard: Give it one more try . . .

“To try and fail is at least to learn; to fail to try is to suffer the inestimable loss of what might have been.” -Chester Barnard (Chester Irving Barnard (1886 - 1961))

“Winners never quit, and quitters never win.” -Author Unknown

“What isn’t tried won’t work.” -Claude McDonald (Claude Maxwell McDonald (1852 - 1915))

“Try your best, and then on each succeeding try, attempt to best your last try.” -Author Unknown

“You never fail until you stop trying.” -Florence Griffith Joyner (Florence Delorez Griffith-Joyner (1959 - 1998))

“The last dejected effort often becomes the winning stroke.” -W. J. Cameron (William John Cameron (1879 - 1953))

“Ninety percent of those who fail are not actually defeated. They simply quit.” -Paul J. Meyer (Paul James Meyer (1928 - 2009))

“If you find yourself in surroundings or around people who tell you that you are a failure before you have even begun to try, you must find a way to begin to try somewhere else and either around people who do not condemn you, or in peaceful solitude.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If you kinda sorta try, you get kinda sorta results.” -Author Unknown

“Next to trying and winning, the best thing is trying and failing.” -L. M. Montgomery (Lucy Maud Montgomery (1874 - 1942)): “Anne of Green Gables” (June 1908), Chapter 35; line spoken by fictional character Anne

“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” -Beverly Sills (1929 - 2007)

“Do not give up, the beginning is always the hardest.” -Author Unknown

“How many a man has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience, would have achieved success.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must be first overcome.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): “Rasselas” (1759)

“You won’t succeed unless you try.” -Author Unknown

“People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don’t know when to quit. Most men succeed because they are determined to.” -George H. Allen (George Herbert Allen, Senior (1918 - 1990))

“The only ones who truly fail are those that never try.” -Author Unknown

“You can’t hit a home run unless you step up to the plate. You can’t catch fish unless you put your line in the water. You can’t reach your goals if you don’t try.” -Kathy Seligman

“If you try you might; if you don’t you won’t.” -Author Unknown

“When you win, nothing hurts.” -Joe Namath (Joseph William ‘Joe’ Namath (born 1943))

“Every single one of us possesses the strength to attempt something he isn’t sure he can accomplish.” -Scott Jurek (Scott Gordon Jurek (born 1973))

“Life is trying things to see if they work.” -Ray Bradbury (Ray Douglas Bradbury (1920 - 2012))

This is MFOL! . . . where we never stop trying . . . and that is why more fun and learning is coming up next . . .

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Efforts and Benefits

10/25/2020

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“You can accomplish virtually anything if you want it badly enough and if you are willing to work long enough and hard enough.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Much effort, much prosperity.” -Euripides (480 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“Dig where the gold is unless you just need some exercise.” -John M. Capozzi: “Why Climb the Corporate Ladder When You Can Take the Elevator” (1994)

“When we do more than we are paid to do, eventually we will be paid more for what we do.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Be willing to give that extra effort that separates the winner from the one in second place.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (Harriett Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940))

“I’ve got a theory that if you give one-hundred percent all of the time, somehow things will work out in the end.” -Larry Bird (Larry Joe Bird (born 1956))

“Working hard becomes a habit, a serious kind of fun. You get self-satisfaction from pushing yourself to the limit, knowing that all the effort is going to pay off.” -Mary Lou Retton (Mary Lou ‘Lou’ Retton (born 1968))

“Always take a job that is too big for you.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969)

“Work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts will inevitably bring about right results.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“It is only through labor and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage, that we move on to better things.” -Theodore Roosevelt (Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919))

“The more we do the more we can do.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

“Who knows whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.” -Erich Fromm (Erich Seligmann Fromm (1900 - 1980))

“Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Labor was the first price, the original purchase-money that was paid for all things. It was not by gold or by silver, but by labor, that all wealth of the world was originally purchased.” -Adam Smith (1723 - 1790): “The Wealth of Nations” (1776)

“All great success and achievement is preceded and accompanied by hard, hard, work. When in doubt, ‘try harder.’ And if that doesn’t work, try harder still!” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Energy, even like the Biblical grain of mustard-seed, will move mountains.” -Hosea Ballou (1771 - 1852)

“The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” -William Faulkner (William Cuthbert ‘Will’ Faulkner (1897 - 1962))

“The results you achieve will be in direct proportion to the effort you apply.” -Denis Waitley (born 1933)

“It’s true that the willing horse gets the heaviest load. It is also true that he develops the strongest muscles and gets the most oats.” -Author Unknown

“We work to become, not to acquire.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)): “A Thousand and One Epigrams” (1911)

“You get what you work for, not what you wish for.” -Author Unknown

“Without work there will not be any bread in your mouth.” [translation to English]
“Sine labore non erit panis in ore.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown

“There is no royal road to anything. One thing at a time, all things in succession. That which grows fast, withers as rapidly. That which grows slowly, endures.” -Josiah Gilbert Holland (1819 - 1881)

“The mode by which the inevitable comes to pass is effort.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Junior (1841 - 1935)

“Winners embrace hard work. They love the discipline of it, the tradeoff they’re making to win. Losers, on the other hand, see it as punishment. And that’s the difference.” -Lou Holtz (Louis Leo ‘Lou’ Holtz (born 1937))

Without Pains,
No Gains.
-Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 6360

“The fruit derived from labor is the sweetest of all pleasures.” -Luc de Clapiers (1715 - 1747)

“In all human affairs there are efforts, and there are results, and the strength of the effort is the measure of the result. Chance is not. Gifts, powers, material, intellectual, and spiritual possessions are the fruits of effort; they are thoughts completed, objects accomplished, visions realized.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912): “As a Man Thinketh” (1902), ‘Visions and Ideals’

“The highest reward for man’s toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“For every disciplined effort there is a multiple reward.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Whatever you give to life will return to you - multiplied! This applies to our daily thoughts, feelings, and actions, be they positive or negative, uplifting or depressing.” -Frederick W. Babbel (Frederick William Babbel (1915 - 2001))

“Work is the grand cure for all maladies and miseries that ever beset mankind - honest work, which you intend getting done.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“The man who rolls up his sleeves seldom loses his shirt.” -Thomas Cowan (Thomas ‘Tom’ Cowan (born 1969))

“If there is no dull and determined effort, there will be no brilliant achievement.” - Xun Kuang (also known as Hsun Tzu, Xun Zi, and Xunzi (about 310 B.C.E. - about 235 B.C.E.))

“Getting the most out of life is giving life your most.” -Janice Markowitz

“There is no excellence anywhere without labor. We would think a man foolish indeed who would say I am willing that my business should prosper or that my farm should yield plentifully but I’ll not stir a peg. But he is no more foolish than the man who says I am willing that God should bless me abundantly but I shall not do anything toward that end myself. We must consistently rely upon the help of the Lord but we will not make any progress or meet with any success unless we put forth an earnest effort.” -Charles W. Nibley (Charles Wilson Nibley (1849 - 1931))

“If you put forth the effort, good things will be bestowed upon you.” -Michael Jordan (born 1963)

“It’s the constant and determined effort that breaks down all resistance and sweeps away all obstacles.” -Claude M. Bristol (Claude Myron Bristol (1891 - 1951))

“For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice.” -John Burroughs (1837 - 1921)

“Nobody gets to run the mill by doing run-of-the-mill work.” -Thomas J. Frey

“The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win.” -Roger Bannister (Roger Gilbert Bannister (1929 - 2018))

“There’s no substitute for hard work.” -John Wooden (John Robert Wooden (1910 - 2010))

“The difficulties and struggles of today are but the price we must pay for the accomplishments and victories of tomorrow.” -William J. H. Boetcker (William John Henry Boetcker (1873 - 1962))

“Nothing ever comes to one that is worth having except as a result of hard work.” -Booker T. Washington (Booker Taliaferro Washington (1856 - 1915)

“Genius begins great works; labor alone finishes them.” -Joseph Joubert (1754 - 1824)

“Nobody ever found a buried treasure without digging for it. Most success is beneath the surface. Dig every day.” -George W. Cummings, Senior: as quoted in Paul D. Cummings: “Lessons at the Fence Post” (November 1996)

“If you’re not willing to put in the effort, don’t expect anything in return.” -Author Unknown

“Labor is the great producer of wealth; it moves all other causes.” -Daniel Webster (1782 - 1852)

“Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.” -Winston Churchill: as quoted in Liane Cordes: “The Reflecting Pond: Meditations for Self-Discovery” (1981), page 89

“Men will get no more out of life than they put into it.” -William J. H. Boetcker (William John Henry Boetcker (1873 - 1962))

“Nothing will work unless you do.” - Maya Angelou (Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

“Much good work is lost for the lack of a little more.” -Edward H. Harriman (Edward Henry Harriman)

“It is better to wear out than to rust out.” -Frances E. Willard (Frances Elizabeth Caroline Willard (1839 - 1898))

“Do a little more each day than you think you possibly can.” -Lowell Thomas (Lowell Jackson Thomas (1892 - 1981))

“Men do less than they ought, unless they do all that they can.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881): as quoted in Horace Smith: “The Tin Trumpet” (1859)

“The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more.” -Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995)

“No one ever attains very eminent success by simply doing what is required of him; it is the amount and excellence of what is over and above the required, that determines the greatness of ultimate distinction.” -Charles Kendall Adams (1835 - 1902)

“I realized that with hard work, the world was your oyster. You could do anything you wanted to do. I learned that at a young age.” -Christine Marie ‘Chris’ Evert (born 1954)

“Four little words sum up what has lifted most successful individuals above the crowd: A little bit more. They did all that was expected of them and a little bit more.” -A. Lou Vickery

“Do more than you’re supposed to do and you can have or be or do anything you want.” -Bill Sands (born 1953)

This is MFOL! . . . life can be fun . . . if we make the effort . . .

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Witchcraft and Witches

10/20/2020

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Is this a coven of witches . . . or just a group of women who enjoy playing dress-up for teatime?

Emma: What bounces and cackles?
Emmit: A witch on a trampoline!

Witches Brew

Dash of bat whiskers
Three purple tadpoles
Dollop of goobly goop
One teaspoon frozen rainbow
Two pinches of ghost dust
Sprinkle with troll teeth
Mix thoroughly and simmer
Over low heat for 4 hours
Serve ice cold.

by Author Unknown

Laura: What did the little witch hope to get for her birthday?
Laurel: A haunted dollhouse!

The word ‘witch’ is derived from the Old English words ‘wicca’ meaning ‘wise man’ and ‘wicce’ meaning ‘wise woman.’

Bill: Have you heard about the good weather witch?
Penny: Yes, and she’s forecasting sunny spells!

In 2013, the country of Swaziland passed a law prohibiting witches from flying above an altitude of 150 meters (492 feet). Is this law unfair?

Bonnie: Why does everyone at witches’ conventions wear a nametag?
Lonnie: So they can tell which witch is which witch.

Apparently, even witches get lonely for the company of their own kind. Thus, they gather into ‘covens,’ of between two and thirteen witches. The word ‘coven’ was mostly unused in the English language until 1921, when Margaret Murray advanced the idea that witches across Europe met in groups of 13, which they call covens. When covens gather, they engage in communication with the spirit world, rituals, chants, sharing of news and gossip and recipes for potions and spells, and possibly whatever else your imagination is suggesting to you right now.

Ace: Why do witches carry black cats on their brooms?
Tex: Because elephants weigh too much.

A warlock, or a man-witch, went to the doctor one day complaining of headaches. “It’s because I live in a room with two of my brothers,” he said. “One of them has six goats and the other has four pigs and they all live in the room with us. The smell is terrible.” “Well, couldn’t you just open the windows?” asked the doctor. “Certainly not,” he replied. “My bats would fly out!”

Ruben: What do witches say when they cast the wrong spell?
Benjamin: “Hexcuse me!”

Sign: Witch Parking Only - All Others Will Be Toad.

Sal: What kind of pets do witches have?
Les: Scaredy cats!

The cat, frog, pig, raven, goat, wolf, bat, and mouse were believed to be a witch’s ‘familiar,’ or a spirit in animal form that was used by a witch to perform evil deeds and cast malevolent spells.

Lily: What do you get if you cross a witch with Wintertime?
Lilith: A cold spell.

Simon: What do you call two witches on one broom?
Cinnamon: Broommates.

“Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cackle maniacally, and people back away from you slowly.” -Author Unknown

Wanda: How does a witch make scrambled eggs?
Wendy: She cracks eggs into a pan and gets two other witches to make the stove shake with fright. Then she cackles just like a chicken!

We would not want to attract the ire of any witches, but here is a little secret about the ways of harmless good witches: The ingredients they use in their potions and other concoctions are extraordinarily ordinary, but they give the ingredients fantastic names to keep their recipes secret. So for example, bat wings might really be leaves of cloves, and eye of newt might actually be pearl onions. Some folks just find having secrets makes their lives more interesting - that plus ‘secret recipes’ fetch a higher price in the marketplace than regular ones. On the other hand, malevolent or bad witches might actually use real scales of snakes and warts of toads and hairs of hares in their recipes.

Corey: What is evil and goes around and around?
Courtney: A witch on a merry-go-round.

Shelia: Where does a witch park her broom after she is done flying?
Ophelia: In a broom closet.

Rachel: What do witches put on their bagels?
Michael: Scream cheese!

Sandy: What does a witch call for when she checks into a hotel?
Sandra: Broom service.

Wiccaphobia is a persistent fear of witches and witchcraft. Wow, there’s a word for nearly everything, isn’t there?

Donny: How does a witch tell time?
Donald: By looking at her witch-watch.

Josie: What has six legs and flies?
Joey: A witch and a cat on a broom!

“‘A witch ought never be frightened in the darkest forest,’ Granny Weatherwax had once told her, because she should be sure in her soul that the most terrifying thing in the forest was her.” -Terry Pratchett: “Wintersmith” (2006)

Wilma: How can you imagine yourself flying on a broom?
Wilfred: Just engage in witchful thinking!

Angie: Why do witches wear pointy hats?
Angelica: To cover their pointy heads.

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All:
Double, double toil and trouble;
     Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

Second Witch:
Fillet of a fenny snake,
     In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
     Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder’s fork and blind-worm’s sting,
     Lizard’s leg and owlet’s wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
     Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

All:
Double, double toil and trouble;
     Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

by William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Macbeth” (1606), Act IV, scene 1 [A cavern. In the middle, a boiling cauldron], lines 1557 through 1568

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Cora: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Corey: Spelling.

“Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.” -J.R.R. Tolkien (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien (1892 - 1973)): “The Fellowship of the Ring” (1954), book I, chapter 3

Marcy: What has four wheels and flies?
Marcella: A witch on a vacuum cleaner!

Overheard: The local witch once threatened to turn me into a toad, but she changed her mind after thinking it over. She said it would be a waste of a perfectly good spell because no one would notice any change in my appearance!

Darcy: How does a witch lose the weight gained from eating Halloween candy?
Darla: She hex-ercises.

Helen Duncan, a medium, or a person who purports to communicate with the spirit world, was arrested in 1944 in Portsmouth, England. She had been arrested originally for the catch-all charge of vagrancy, but when she came up for trial at the Old Bailey, the police promptly added the charge of witchcraft, and she was tried under the Witchcraft Act of 1735. Her case is the last known instance of a person in England being tried by law as a witch.

Hilda: Why don’t witches ride their brooms when they are upset?
Mathilda: They are afraid of flying off the handle!

Would you be willing to entertain the possibility that witches, along with warlocks, wizards, sorcerers, and sorceresses are not real, but are creations wholly of human imagination? This would mean that some people might like to pretend that they are these things, and some people might accuse other people of being these things, and though they might be either good people or bad people, they are not really witches, warlocks, wizards, sorcerers, or sorceresses.

Felicia: What do little witches eat?
Felicity: Alpha-bat soup!

According to some people, if you wear your clothes inside out and walk backwards on Halloween, you will see a witch at midnight. We strongly advise against doing this, because it could result in tripping, falling, and serious injury. Instead, anyone wanting to see a witch should watch the movie “Hocus Pocus” (1993). It is rated ‘PG’ for ‘Parental Guidance’ advised; however, like all entertainment, it should be reviewed and approved by parents or other grownups for suitability before their children are allowed to see it.

At MFOL! we do all of our own stunts, but we must remind folks that flying through the air on a broom involves significant risk, and should be done only after lengthy training, and unlike the man shown in the image above, should be done only with protective equipment including a helmet, goggles, and a parachute.

Cecil: How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
Celeste: With scare-spray.

“The riches of witches are flying brooms, black cats, cookery with cauldrons, loud clear cackles, the camaraderie of covens - and spells that cause itches!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Ted: How do you make a witch itch?
Todd: Just take away the ‘w.’

What should you do if a geometric witch puts a hexagon you?

Irwin: How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
Irving: Just one, but she changes it into a toad!

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Witches’ Menu

Live lizard, dead lizard
     Marinated, fried.
Poached lizard, pickled lizard
     Salty lizard hide.

Hot lizard, cold lizard
     Lizard over ice.
Baked lizard, boiled lizard
     Lizard served with spice.

Sweet lizard, sour lizard
     Smoked lizard heart.
Leg of lizard, loin of lizard
     Lizard a la carte.

by Sonja Nikolay (born 1936)

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Lynne: Which cartoon do witches like to watch on television?
Linda: “The Scare Bears.”

What is the Witching Hour? The hour after midnight, when witches and other supernatural beings are thought to be active, and to which bad luck is ascribed, is called ‘the witching hour’ in folkloric tradition. All honest mortals are to be found at home fast asleep in bed at this time of night, and not wandering about in the dark.

Rutherford: How can you tell twin witches apart?
Ruth: You can never really tell which witch is which.

Wilfred: What would you expect to find on a beach at Halloween?
Mildred: A sand-witch.

“Mortified: A witch’s reaction to being mortalized, or being changed into a mere mortal.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Mandy: Why do witches fly on brooms?
Manetta: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

Tongue twister: If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

Ollie: What do witches like to do on the computer?
Oliver: Use the ‘spell’ checker.

Judy: What did one witch say to the other witch when she asked for a lift?
Trudy: “There’s always plenty of broom for one more.”

We cover a wide variety of topics . . . because one size does not fit all . . . more fun follows . . . on MFOL!

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Bumper Stickers and License Plates

10/13/2020

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Bumper sticker: If You Lived In Your Car, You Would Be Home By Now.

Bumper sticker: When In Danger Or In Doubt, Run In Circles, Scream, And Shout!

License plate on a brown Land Rover: ARF ARF.

Bumper sticker: If You Can Read This, Thank A Teacher.

Bumper sticker: Relish Today . . . Ketchup Tomorrow!

Bumper sticker: Be Alert - The World Needs More Lerts.

Bumper sticker: To Err Is Human, To Moo Bovine.

Bumper sticker: Don’t Wish For It - Work For It.

Bumper sticker: Buckle Up - It Makes It Harder For The Aliens To Suck You Out Of Your Car.

Bumper sticker: The Truth Is Out There. It’s Just Not Very Well Indexed.

Bumper sticker: I Souport Publik Edekasi8n.

Bumper sticker: If You Think I’m A Lousy Driver, Wait Until You See Me Putt.

Bumper sticker: Save The Earth - It’s The Only Planet With Chocolate!

Bumper sticker: There Is No Shortcut To Anyplace Worth Going.

Bumper sticker: Warning - This Vehicle Protected By Anti-Theft Sticker.

Bumper sticker: I Drive Way Too Fast To Worry About Cholesterol.

Bumper sticker: Power To The People (seen on an electrician’s truck).

Bumper sticker: Help Stamp Out And Eradicate Superfluous Redundancy.

Bumper sticker: If You Can Read This Bumper Sticker You Are Driving Too Close.

Bumper sticker: So You’re A Feminist - Isn’t That Cute?

Bumper sticker: How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?

Bumper sticker: You Have Enemies? Good - That Means You Stood Up For Something.

Bumper sticker: Be The Kind Of Friend You’d Want to Have.

Bumper sticker: Turn Signals Are Not Just For Smart People Anymore.

Bumper sticker: I’d Rather Be Fishing!

Bumper sticker: My Other Vehicle Is A Romulan Warbird.

Bumper sticker: Follow Your Dreams Except The One Where You Are Showing A Squirrel How To Climb A Tree.

Bumper sticker: I Owe, I Owe, So It’s Off To Work I Go!

License plate: YRU FAT (seen on weight-loss guru Richard Simmons’ vehicle).

Bumper sticker on a Lamborghini: My Other Car Is A Lamborghini, Too!

Bumper sticker: Honk If You Are A Bad Driver.

Bumper sticker: Eagles Don’t Flock.

Bumper sticker: Honk If You Like Peace And Quiet.

Bumper sticker: Caution - I Drive Like You Do!

Bumper sticker: Caution - Blind Person Driving! (seen on a venetian blind installer’s vehicle).

Bumper sticker: I Do Whatever My Breakfast Cereal Tells Me To Do.

Bumper sticker: Just Say No To Negativity.

Bumper sticker: If Your Ship Hasn’t Come In . . . Swim Out To It!

Bumper sticker: Be Nice To Americans, Or We’ll Bring Our Style Of Democracy To Your Country!

Bumper sticker: I Don’t Repeat Gossip.

Bumper sticker: I Have Animal Magnetism. Every Time I Go Outside, Squirrels Stick To My Clothes.

Bumper sticker: Just Because You Are Paranoid Does Not Mean They Are Not Out To Get You.

Bumper sticker: What If There Were No Hypothetical Questions?

Bumper sticker: The Internet Is An Information Source Not A Lifestyle Choice.

Bumper sticker: I Am Speeding Because I Have To Get Someplace Before I Forget Where I Was Going!

Bumper sticker: People Who Anger You Control You.

Have you read the bumper sticker that reads, “Ban All Bumper Stickers!”?

Bumper sticker: It Is Bad Luck To Be Superstitious.

Bumper sticker: Honk If You Have No Control Over Your Impulses.

Bumper sticker: Quantum Mechanics Is The Dreams Stuff Is Made Of.

Bumper sticker: Humans Aren’t The Only Species On Earth, We Just Act Like It.

License plate on the vehicle of a sewing machine dealership: SEWBIZ.

Bumper sticker: Don’t Follow Me - I’m Lost, Too!

Bumper sticker: It’s Lonely At The Top, But You Eat Better!

Bumper sticker: Mistakes Are Proof That You Are Trying.

Bumper sticker: Save The Whales! Trade Them For Valuable Prizes.

Bumper sticker: What If The Hokey Pokey Really Is What It’s All About?

Bumper sticker: Men Are From Earth. Women Are From Earth. Deal With It.

Bumper sticker: Cole’s Law: Thinly Sliced Cabbage.

Bumper sticker: Lottery - A Tax On People Who Are Bad At Math.

Bumper sticker: I Is A College Student.

License plates in the Canadian Northwest Territories are shaped like polar bears.

License plate: HMMMM (seen on a choir director’s vehicle).

Bumper sticker: Forget World Peace And Visualize Using Your Turn Signal.

Bumper sticker: As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools.

Bumper sticker: Driver Carries No Cash - He’s Married!

Bumper sticker: If Your Job Pays You Peanuts, Make Peanut Butter.

Coming soon to a future near you: Teflon-coated bumpers, because nothing, not even bumper stickers, will stick to non-stick coatings. What, you say that’s not real and it’s not happening . . . ever? You may be right.

Bumper sticker: Warning - Driver brakes suddenly for no apparent reason.

Bumper sticker: I May Be Slow, But I’m Ahead Of You.

Bumper sticker: Honk If Anything Falls Off.

Bumper sticker: By The Time You Read This, You Will Have Already Read It.

Bumper sticker: Question Everything.

Bumper sticker: Taxation With Representation Isn’t So Wonderful, Either!

Bumper sticker: This Truck Has Been In Fifteen Accidents, And Hasn’t Lost One Yet!

Bumper sticker: I Love Animals - They Are Delicious!

Bumper sticker: All Generalizations Are False - Including This One.

Bumper sticker: My Other Car is a Broom.

Bumper sticker: Drive carefully, your government needs every taxpayer it can get.

Bumper sticker: The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Bumper sticker: Yes, this is my truck, and no, I won’t help you move.

Bumper sticker: I Chose The Road Less Traveled - Now Where In The World Am I?

Bumper sticker: This Bumper Sticker Holds My Car Together.

Bumper sticker: In The Absence Of Light, Darkness Prevails.

Bumper sticker: My Other Car Has A Funny Bumper Sticker On It.

MFOL! . . . It all started one morning when we woke up and said, “Let’s do something different today.”

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Anger and Rage

10/9/2020

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“We can’t let the anger overshadow the good things in life.” -Author Unknown

“Every time you give someone a piece of your mind, you make your head a little emptier.” -Author Unknown

“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.” -Eckhart Tolle

Riddle: What is round and has a bad temper?
Solution: A vicious circle.

“The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn’t angry enough.” -Bede Jarrett

“The best remedy for anger is delay.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65): “De ira” (“On Anger”)

“There is no angry way to say ‘bubbles.’” -Author Unknown

“Don’t let the Sun go down upon your anger; forgive each other, help each other, and begin again tomorrow.” -Louisa May Alcott (1832 - 1888)

“Letting off steam always produces more heat than light.” -Neal A. Maxwell (Neal Ash Maxwell (1926 - 2004)): “Murmur Not” in “Ensign” (November 1989) magazine, page 84

“Don’t ever slam a door; you might want to go back.” -Author Unknown

“Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.” -Chérie Carter-Scott (born 1939) at www.drcherie.com

“People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.” -Will Rogers (William Penn Adair ‘Will’ Rogers (1879 - 1935))

Angrophobia is a persistent fear of anger or of becoming angry. Many folks look ridiculous and do regrettable actions or speak in haste when angry, so perhaps the phobia stems in part from a fear of doing permanent damage to their personal reputations and relationships.

Anger makes us strong,
Blind and impatient
And it leads us wrong;
The strength is quickly lost;
We feel the error long.
-George Crabbe

“The broad general rule is that a person is no bigger than the things that make him or her angry.” -Author Unknown

Hangry (han-gree), adjective: A state of anger caused by lack of food; hunger causing a negative change in emotional state.

“The line between hunger and anger is a thin line.” -John E. Steinbeck (John Ernst Steinbeck (1902 - 1968)): “The Grapes of Wrath” (14 April 1939)

“Sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.” -Author Unknown

“You can’t stay mad at someone who makes you laugh.” -Jay Leno (born 1950)

“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” -Author Unknown: Chinese proverb

“Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.” -Lemony Snicket (pseudonym of Daniel Handler (born 1970))

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A Bag of Nails

Once upon a time, there lived a little boy, and he had a very bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the wooden fence that surrounded their home.

The first day, the boy hammered an entire handful of nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails he hammered into the fence each day became fewer in number. He had discovered that it was easier for him to hold his temper than it was to drive nails into the fence.

Finally, the day came when the boy did not lose his temper at all. He told his father about this, and his father suggested that the boy then pull out one nail for each day that he had been able to control his temper.

The days passed, and at last, the young boy could finally tell his father that all the nails he had hammered into the fence had been removed.

The father led his son to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at all the holes in the fence. The nails are gone, but the fence itself will never be the same.”

The little boy then understood how powerful his words were. He looked up at his father and said, “I hope I can be forgiven for all the damage my anger has done to people.”

by Author Unknown

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“When you are angry say nothing and do nothing until you have recited the alphabet.” -Athenodorus Cananites

“Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.” -Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)

“Just try to be angry with someone who fed you something delicious.” -Carmen Cook

“Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind.” -Robert G. Ingersoll (Robert Green ‘Bob’ Ingersoll (1833 - 1899))

“Most people usually do not assume responsibility for their anger. Instead, what we typically hear is, “You made me angry.” “They made me upset,” etc. I trust it is evident that these types of statements are not true. No one else can ‘make’ you angry. We have to make ourselves angry. What others say and do is, yes, a part of the equation, but without our contribution to the equation, anger cannot arise nor exist. This can be a very threatening conception of anger, and yet it is also very freeing, for as long as we do determine our own emotional responses, we are free to change and to control them. If other people or events were, in fact, responsible for our emotional responses, then we would not have the freedom nor ability to change them - unless we could control other people and events, which is much more challenging and usually impossible. Thus, principle one in the case against anger is, we are ultimately responsible for our own anger.” -Burton C. Kelly: “Let All . . . Anger . . . Be Put Away from You . . . or the Case Against Anger” as published in the “AMCAP Journal” (February 1979), pages 6 through 13

“Speak when you’re angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887)

“A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.” -Bruce Lee (1940 - 1973)

“Anger is a bad adviser.” -Author Unknown: French proverb

“Anger and worry are caused by phantoms that we create within ourselves and whose only strength is that with which we endow them.” -Horace Fletcher: “Menticulture” (1895)

“When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.” -Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)

Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure, often resulting from a perceived injustice or unfairness. While anger is often momentary, rage is usually thought of as being a period of sustained anger.

“Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887)

“Anger helps straighten out a problem like a fan helps straighten out a pile of papers.” -Susan Mancotte

“No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.” -George Jean Nathan (1882 - 1958)

“Anger is a feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.” -Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)

“I understand the fury in your words, but not the words.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Othello” (about 1603)

“There was never an angry man that thought his anger unjust.” -Francis de Sales (1567 - 1622): “Introduction to the Devout Life” (1609)

“He who can suppress a moment’s anger may prevent a day of sorrow.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894)

“Before you give someone a piece of your mind, make sure you can get by with what is left.” -Author Unknown

“Anger begins with folly, and ends with repentance.” -Pythagoras (about 570 B.C.E. - about 495 B.C.E.): as quoted in “The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction” (6 January 1844), volume V, number 1

“An angry man is again angry with himself when he returns to reason.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.” -Elizabeth I (1533 - 1603): as quoted in Francis Bacon: “Certain Apophthegms of Lord Bacon” (1625), number IV

“When anger rises, think of the consequences.” -Confucius (551 B.C.E. - 479 B.C.E.)

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Temper

When I have lost my temper, I have lost my reason, too.
     I’m never proud of anything which angrily I do.
When I have talked in anger and my cheeks were flaming red,
     I have always uttered something which I wish I hadn’t said.

In anger I have never done a kindly deed or wise,
     But many things for which I felt I should apologize.
In looking back across my life, and all I’ve lost or made,
     I can’t recall a single time when fury ever paid.

So I struggle to be patient, for I’ve reached a wiser age;
     I do not want to do a thing or speak a word in rage.
I have learned by sad experience that when my temper flies,
     I never do a worthy thing, a decent deed or wise.

by Author Unknown

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“If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?” -Sydney J. Harris (Sydney Justin Harris (1917 - 1986))

“I always tumble into trouble when I lose my temper.” -Jane Louise Curry: “Robin Hood and His Merry Men” (1994)

“Anger is never without an argument, but seldom with a good one.” -George Savile (also known as Lord Halifax (1633 - 1695)): “Political, Moral, and Miscellaneous Thoughts and Reflections” (1750), ‘Of Anger’

“When a wise man is angry, he is no longer wise.” -Author Unknown: “The Talmud”

“We are all crazy when we are angry.” -Philemon (about 300 B.C.E.)

“Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame.” -Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)

“There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away; the battle they are fighting isn’t with you, it’s with themselves.” -Author Unknown

“Anger is momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you.” [translation to English]
“Ira furor brevis est: animum rege: qui nisi paret imperat.” [original Latin]
-Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)): “Epistles,” I, 2, 62

“He who angers you, controls you.” -Author Unknown

“Two things a man should never be angry at: what he can help, and what he cannot help.” -Author Unknown

“The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.” -Joseph Joubert (1754 - 1824)

“Anger is the only thing to put off till tomorrow.” -Author Unknown: Slovakian proverb

“Do not teach your children never to be angry; teach them how to be angry.” -Lyman Abbott

“A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.” Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Proverbs,’ chapter 15, verse 18

“Angry people are not always wise.” -Jane Austen (1775 - 1817)

“You can tell the size of a man by the size of the thing that makes him mad.” -Adlai Stevenson (Adlai E. Stevenson (1900 - 1965))

“We boil at different degrees.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Marian Evans Cross, also known as Mary Ann Evans (1819 - 1880))

“Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.” -Chuck Norris (Carlos Ray ‘Chuck’ Norris (born 1940))

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“Explain your anger instead of expressing it, and you will find solutions instead of arguments.” -Author Unknown

“Anger manages everything badly.” -Statius

“Never respond to an angry person with a fiery comeback, even if he deserves it . . . don’t allow his anger to become your anger.” -Author Unknown

“Temper, if ungoverned, governs the whole man.” -Anthony Shaftesbury

“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180))

“Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” -Aristotle (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.)

“The prudent man does not let his temper boil over lest he get into hot water.” -Author Unknown

“Anger is one letter away from danger.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor ‘Eleanor’ Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“Never do anything when you are in a temper, for you will do everything wrong.” -Baltasar Gracián (1601 - 1658)

“Nobody ‘makes’ you angry. You ‘decide’ to use anger as a response.” -Author Unknown

“I’m sorry for the unkind words I spoke out of anger.” -Author Unknown

“My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down, and go about business as usual.” -Phyllis Diller (1917 - 2012)

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Changing and Adjusting

10/7/2020

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“If you would like to change things in your life that seem too big to change all at once, could you be happy changing them a little at a time?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Any day we wish, we can start the process of life change.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“It is always safe to assume, not that the old way is wrong, but that there may be a better way.” -Henry F. Harrower

“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” -Steve Jobs (Steven Paul ‘Steve’ Jobs (1955 - 2011))

“Never assume that you’re stuck with the way things are. Life changes, and so can you.” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955)), website www.GreatDay.com.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” -Margaret Mead (1901 - 1978): as quoted in the “Christian Science Monitor” (1 June 1989)

“It’s never too late to change your life.” -Author Unknown

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.” -Herbert Ottl

“The greatest discovery of my age is that men can change their circumstances by changing the attitude of their mind.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“The only thing certain is nothing is certain.” -Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)

“Times will change for the better when you change.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“Know what’s weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change, but pretty soon . . . everything’s different.” -Bill Watterson (Bill Watterson II (born 1958)): “Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes”; type of work: cartoon

“If we want things to stay as they are, things will have to change.” -Giuseppe Tomasi de Lampedusa (1896 -1957)

“People can change until they take their last breath.” -Alton R. Jorgenson

“Change is the only thing that will make things different.” -Author Unknown

“Much as we may wish to make a new beginning, some part of us resists doing so as though we were making the first step toward disaster.” -William Bridges (born 1934)

“If you want things to change, you have to change. If you want things to be better, you have to be better.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“There is nothing permanent except change.” -Heraclitus of Ephesus (544 B.C.E. - 483 B.C.E.) (513 B.C.E.)

“Change is not made without inconvenience, even from worse to better.” -Richard Hooker (1554 - 1600)

“To live is to change, and to be perfect is to have changed often.” -John Henry Newman (1801 - 1890): “The Development of Christian Doctrine” (1834)

“The only thing constant in life is change.” -Francois de La Rochefoucauld (François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680))

“Never be afraid to try something new - remember, it was amateurs who built the Ark and professionals who built the Titanic.” -Author Unknown

“Changes happen, and life gets worse and better, and life somehow goes on.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Change before you have to.” -Jack Welch (John Francis ‘Jack’ Welch, Junior (born 1935))

“Our wretched species is so made that those who walk on the well-trodden path always throw stones at those opening a new road.” -Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778)): as quoted in Ben Ray Redman, editor: “The Portable Voltaire” (1949)

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” -Mahatma Gandhi (Mohandas Karamchand ‘Mahatma’ Gandhi (1869 - 1948))

“Change is not merely necessary to life - it is life.” -Alvin Toffler (1928 - 2016)

“Only you can change your life. No one can do it for you.” -Author Unknown

“I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.” -Aldous Huxley (Aldous Leonard Huxley (1894 - 1963))

“Change is the only evidence of life.” -Evelyn Waugh (Arthur Evelyn Saint John Waugh (1903 - 1966))

Affirmation: I want to change my life.

To change one’s life:
Start immediately.
Do it flamboyantly.
No exceptions.
-William James (1842 - 1910)

“Change is not difficult, it is the resistance to change that is difficult.” -Author Unknown

“The nature o’* things doesn’t change, though it seems as if one’s own life was nothing but change. The square o’ four is sixteen, and you must lengthen your lever in proportion to your weight, is as true when a man’s miserable as when he’s happy; and the best o’ working is, it gives you a grip hold o’ things outside your own lot.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans (1819 - 1880)): “Adam Bede” (1859)
*o’: of

“The more things change, the more they are the same.” -Alphonse Karr (1808 - 1890)

“Resolve to be a master of change rather than a victim of change.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“It is the greatest mistake to think that man is always one and the same. A man is never the same for long. He is continually changing. He seldom remains the same even for half an hour.” -Gurdjieff (1873 - 1949)

“In times of change, learners inherit the Earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)

“I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones.” -John Cage (John Milton Cage, Junior (1912 - 1992))

“All change is not growth; as all movement is not forward!” -Author Unknown

“Everyone alters and is altered by everyone else. We are all the time taking in portions of one another or else reacting against them, and by those involuntary acquisitions and repulsions modifying our natures.” -Gerald Brenan (1894 - 1987)

“We must all obey the great law of change. It is the most powerful law of nature, and the means perhaps of its conservation.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

“The art of life lies in a constant readjustment to our surroundings.” -Okakura Kakuzō (Okakura Tenshin (1862 - 1913)): “The Book of Tea” (1906)

“If you want to make enemies, try to change something.” -Woodrow Wilson (Thomas Woodrow ‘Woodrow’ Wilson (1856 - 1924))

“To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” -Henri Bergson (Henri-Louis ‘Henri’ Bergson (1859 - 1941))

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.” -Mandy Hale (born 1978)

“Sometimes we must make a choice, to take a chance, or our lives will never change.” -Author Unknown

“We may dig in our heels and dare life never to change, but, all the same, it changes under our feet like sand under the feet of a sea gazer as the tide runs out. Life is forever undermining us. Life is forever washing away our castles, reminding us that they were, after all, only sand and sea water.” -Erica Jong (born 1942): “Parachutes and Kisses”

“Our only security is our ability to change.” -John Lyly (1554 - 1606)

“The main dangers in this life are the people who want to change everything or nothing.” -Nancy Astor (1879 - 1964)

“Change is possible for everyone; consider the wolf, which preys upon sheep, and then examine the domestic dog derived from it, which protects sheep.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Everything is in motion. Everything flows. Everything is vibrating.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

“Change almost always represents improvement of the human condition. Constancy almost always represents stagnation. In any event, change is certain. There’s no point in complaining about it. Natural history teaches that survival in a changing world does not depend on physical strength or on high intelligence. Survival depends on the ability to change.” -Alex Sanders

Lucy: Do you think anybody ever really changes?
Linus: I’ve changed a lot in the last year.
Lucy: I mean for the better.
-Charles M. Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000)): “Peanuts” comic strip

“Things of this world are in so constant a flux, that nothing remains long in the same state.” -John Locke (1632 - 1704)

“All things are only transitory.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

“The world hates change yet it is the only thing that has brought progress.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“Once you make the decision to change, all kinds of things happen.” -Charles S. Dutton

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910))

“To change your circumstances, first start thinking differently. Do not passively accept unsatisfactory circumstances, but form a picture in your mind of circumstances as they should be. Believe and succeed.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“In all change, well looked into, the germinal good out-vails the apparent ill.” -Francis Thompson (1859 - 1907)

“Be okay with where you are, even if you know you want to change.” -Author Unknown

“Change is inevitable. Because it is driven by expanding knowledge and technology, it is accelerating at a speed never seen before.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Change is inevitable . . . except from vending machines.” -Author Unknown

“Nothing in the world is permanent, and we’re foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we’re still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)): “The Razor’s Edge” (1943)

“All is change; all yields its place and goes.” -Euripides (484 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” -Ed Foreman (born 1933)

“Turn over a new leaf.” -Thomas Dekker

“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” -Author Unknown

“To the fearful, change is threatening because they worry that things may get worse. To the hopeful, change is encouraging because they feel things may get better.” -Buck Rogers

“Welcome change.” -Author Unknown

“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

“There is yet time enough for you to take a different path.” -Author Unknown

“Too much consistency is as bad for the mind as for the body.” -Aldous Huxley (Aldous Leonard Huxley (1894 - 1963))

“Life is like an ever-changing kaleidoscope - a slight change, and all patterns alter.” -Sharon Salberg

“Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference.” -Author Unknown

“Someday change will be accepted as life itself.” -Shirley MacLaine (pseudonym of Shirley MacLean Beaty (born 1934))

This is MFOL! . . . for those who strive to be well-adjusted in an ever-changing world . . .

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