Make Fun Of Life!

As You Can See We Are Eating This Tree

6/16/2019

Well, hello there! We will be right with you as soon as we are finished gnawing on this tree . . . nmnmnm, nmnmnm, nmnmnm . . . it has a really great mellow, earthy flavor . . . nmnmnm, nmnmnm, nmnmnm . . . you should try it yourself . . . nmnmnm, nmnmnm, nmnmnm . . .

While we finish eating the rest of the tree, please enjoy the fun that follows, and be sure to explore some of the other pages on www.MakeFunOfLife.net, such as the Life page shown on the menu bar at the top of this page.

This is MFOL! . . . nmnmnm, nmnmnm, nmnmnm . . .

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Differences and Individuality

6/13/2019

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Birds of a feather flock together . . . and then there are the birds of a different feather. Shown is Major Mitchell’s Pink Cockatoo, a native of Australia, perhaps as different as different can be - and, like yourself, not like all the others . . .

“You laugh at me because I’m different; I laugh at you because you’re all the same.” -Jonathan Davis

“We do not expect everyone to be exactly alike, and if we feel a cat should be like a dog, we are missing something important.” -Gladys Taber (Gladys Bagg Taber (1899 - 1980))

“Every human being is intended to have a character of his own; to be what no other is, and to do what no other can do.” -William Ellery Channing (1780 - 1842)

“I’m different. Always have been. It took a while but I have accepted that I am a magic not meant for everyone to understand, so they question. That’s okay. I will stay in my lane being all magical and stuff.” -Author Unknown

“There are just two kinds of people in the world: you, and everyone else.” -Author Unknown

“An unlearned carpenter of my acquaintance once said in my hearing: ‘There is very little difference between one man and another; but what little there is, is very important.’” -William James (1842 - 1910): “The Will to Believe and Other Essays in Popular Philosophy” (1897), ‘The Importance of Individuals’

Overheard: There are two types of people: those who are forgetful and . . . uh . . .

“My father (Danny Thomas) used to tell me there are two kinds of people, the takers and the givers. ‘The takers sometimes eat better,’ he would say, ‘but the givers always sleep better.’” -Marlo Thomas (born 1937)

“All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move.” -attributed to Ben Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790))

“Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to continually be part of unanimity.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))

“There are three types of people the world does not understand: madmen, geniuses, and people who mumble.” -Author Unknown

“Different men seek after happiness in different ways and by different means, and so make for themselves different modes of life and forms of government.” -Aristotle (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.)

“People can be divided into three groups. Those who make things happen. Those who watch things happen. And those who wonder what happened.” -Nicholas Murray Butler (1852 - 1947)

“There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who cannot.” -Author Unknown

“Some people work up steam and some only generate a fog.” -Author Unknown

“There may be said to be two classes of people in the world: those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes, and those who do not.” -Robert Benchley (Robert Charles Benchley (1889 - 1945))

“There are three kinds of people in the world. There are wolves and there are sheep - and then there are those who protect the sheep from the wolves.” -Christopher Shields

“In the not-so-long-ago-days, there were only four kinds of people: menfolk, womenfolk, youngfolk, and oldfolk. These days, they’ve divided us up into a near-infinite number of classifications, not to help us or to make the world a better place, but to manipulate us into being and doing what folks may not necessarily want to be and do.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“In life we shall find many men that are great, and some that are good, but very few men that are both great and good.” -C. C. Colton (Charles Caleb Colton (1780 - 1832))

Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.
-Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor ‘Eleanor’ Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“I don’t divide the world into the weak and the strong, or the successes and the failures, those who make it or those who don’t. I divide the world into learners and non-learners.” -Benjamin Barber

“Youth looks ahead, old age looks back, and middle age looks tired.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: As different as two peas in a pod . . .

“There are two kinds of people one can call reasonable: those who serve God with all their heart because they know him, and those who seek him with all their heart because they do not know him.” -Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

“A boss creates fear, a leader confidence. A boss fixes blame, a leader corrects mistakes. A boss knows all, a leader asks questions. A boss makes work drudgery, a leader makes it interesting. A boss is interested in himself or herself, a leader is interested in the group.” -Russell H. Ewing

“I’d rather be a climbing ape than a falling angel.” -Terry Pratchett (1948 - 2015)

There are at least two sorts of people who work in complex organizations like governments, businesses, and schools. There are those who, when a problem reaches them, contribute to its solution; and there are those who, when a problem comes to them, escalate it into something worse. A man of the latter type was called into the chief executive’s office and told, “Mikhail, don’t be an embolus.” “A what?” Mikhail asked. “A kind of blood clot - something that circulates through the system causing trouble.”

“Many are destined to reason wrongly; others, not to reason at all, and others to persecute those who reason.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“You be you and I’ll be me.” -Billy Connolly

Somebody once said that there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good morning, Lord,” and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good Lord, it’s morning!”

“Often the people who are different are the ones who make all the difference in this world.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit. Try, if you can, to belong to the first class. There’s far less competition.” -Dwight Morrow (Dwight Whitney Morrow (1873 - 1931)): in a letter to his son, as quoted in Harold Nicolson: “Dwight Morrow” (1935), page 52

“Cherish forever what makes you unique, ’cuz you’re really a yawn if it goes.” -Bette Midler (born 1945)

Unique

Always remember that you’re unique
     Unequalled, uncommon, c’est magnifique
One of a kind, quite special and rare
     Singular, original, not one of a pair
Special, the exceptional you embody
     You’re really unique, just like everybody!

by Author Unknown

“Know that although in the eternal scheme of things you are small, you are also unique and irreplaceable, as are all your fellow humans everywhere in the world.” -Margaret Laurence

“By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before.” -Edwin Elliot

It is possible to be different . . . and yet also, remarkably similar . . .

Variety’s the very spice of life,
That gives it all its flavor.
-William Cowper (1731 - 1800)

“Everybody is unique. Compare not yourself with anybody else lest you spoil God’s curriculum.” -Israel ben Eliezer

“There are three kinds of people in the world, the wills, the won’ts, and the can’ts. The first accomplish everything; the second oppose everything; the third fail in everything.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “Eclectic Magazine”

“Some people bear three kinds of trouble - the ones they’ve had, the ones they have, and the ones they expect to have.” -H. G. Wells (Herbert George Wells (1866 - 1946))

“Appreciate your uniqueness. Never in history has there been anyone exactly like you. Being one of a kind, you must be the best you can possibly be; develop your talents to the fullest. You can do anything you wish to do; the only limitation is your will. Make the most of the one and only you.” -Bob Keeshan (Robert James ‘Bob’ Keeshan (1927 - 2004))

“Each of us must dance to his own tune.” -Author Unknown: “M*A*S*H” television series; line spoken by character Charles Emerson Winchester III

“Beaten paths are for beaten men.” -Eric Johnston

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” -Rudyard Kipling (1865 - 1936)

“There are two types of people, those who extrapolate from incomplete data sets.” -Author Unknown

“Dare to be yourself.” -André Gide (1869 - 1951)

“Today, there are three kinds of people: the have’s, the have-not’s, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-have’s.” -Earl Wilson

“A fruit salad is delicious precisely because each fruit maintains its own flavor.” -Sean Covey

“There are two kinds of men who never amount to very much: Those who cannot do what they are told, and those who can do nothing else.” -Cyrus H. K. Curtis (Cyrus Hermann Kotzschmar Curtis (1850 - 1933))

“You are unrepeatable. There is a magic about you that is all your own.” -D. M. Dellinger

“Let’s acknowledge our differences and not deny them; appreciate them and value them; and each of us with our own uniqueness can contribute where we are needed. There is no need to go to war with each other upon the insistence that only one way of being or of doing is right.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you’re born to stand out?” -Oliver James

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in square holes . . . the ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules . . . you can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them, because they change things . . . they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” -Steve Jobs (1955 - 2011)

“There is only one you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself.” -Anthony Rapp

“At bottom every man knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this Earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“People can be divided into two classes: those who go ahead and do something, and those who sit still and inquire, ‘Why wasn’t it done the other way?’” -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Junior (1841 - 1935)

“Differences were meant not to divide but to enrich.” -J. H. Oldham

“Whatever else you may be sure of, be sure of this: that you are dreadfully like other people.” -James Russell Lowell (1819 - 1891): “My Study Windows” (1871)

“People are eternally divided into two classes: the believer, builder, and praiser; and the unbeliever, destroyer, and critic.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“There are ten kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary math, and those who do not.” -Author Unknown

“Cultivate your own capabilities, your own style. Appreciate the members of your family for who they are, even though their outlook or style may be miles different from yours. Rabbits don’t fly. Eagles don’t swim. Ducks look funny trying to climb. Squirrels don’t have feathers. Stop comparing. There’s plenty of room in the forest.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

“When we lose the right to be different, we lose the privilege to be free.” -Charles Evans Hughes (1862 - 1948): in an address at Faneuil Hall, Boston, Massachusetts, United States of America (17 June 1925)

“People are much more alike inside than they are on the surface.” -Verne Burnett

“How glorious it is - and also how painful - to be an exception.” -Alfred de Musset (1810 - 1857): “Histoire d’un merle blanc” (“Story of the White Blackbird”) (1842)

“Don’t be like the rest of them, darling.” -Author Unknown

“There are two types of people - those who come into a room and say, ‘Well, here I am!’ and those who come in and say, ‘Ah, there you are.’” -Frederick L. Collins

“Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated, thus, everyone’s task is unique as his specific opportunity to implement it.” -Viktor E. Frankl (1905 - 1997)

“It takes all kinds of people to make a world.” -Author Unknown

“Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.” -Tallulah Bankhead (1903 - 1968)

“You’re an original, an individual, a masterpiece. Celebrate that; don’t let your uniqueness make you shy. Don’t be someone other than the wonder you are. Every star is important to the sky.” -Douglas Pagels (born 1950)

“Allow the world to live as it chooses, and allow yourself to live as you choose.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“When you’re different, sometimes you don’t see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn’t.” -Jodi Picoult (Jodi Lynn Picoult (born 1966))

“Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself to others. It is because we are different that each of us is special. Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important, only know what is best for you.” -Ken Lewis

“People have one thing in common: They are all different.” -Robert Zend (1929 - 1985)

“All of us are stars and deserve the right to twinkle.” -Marilyn Monroe (Norma Jean Mortenson (1926 - 1962))

Make Fun Of Life! . . . because we are all a little bit funny . . . sometimes . . . if not all the time . . .

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Clowning and Clowns

6/11/2019

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Chuckles the Clown: Why did Jolly the Clown cross the road?
Giggles the Clown: To be funny on the other side!

Baggy Trousers

Baggy trousers
     Nose, bright red,
A silly hat
     Upon his head.
Squirting flower
     Spinning tie,
A teardrop falling
     From his eye.
Elastic braces
     Going twang,
His car exploding
     With a bang!
A patchwork coat
     Those flapping shoes,
A painted smile
     To chase the blues.
Making us laugh
     And banish that frown,
The simple duties
     Of a clown.

by Pip the Clown (written for Bluey the Clown)

True clowns bring happiness wherever they are seen, and not the horrors of the creepy clowns that make people fearful or the depression of the sad clowns that make people feel bad. True clowns perform for the benefit of others; they give joy. Send in the happy clowns!

“Yesterday, a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.” -Author Unknown

Peachy the Clown: How does Jokey the Clown like her eggs?
Pinky the Clown: Funny side up!

The word ‘clown’ is possibly derived from the Icelandic word ‘klunni’ meaning ‘clumsy person.’

Laughy the Clown: Why does Snoozy the Clown wear loud socks?
Smiley the Clown: So his feet won’t fall asleep!

There are believed to be more than 20,000 clowns in the world today. The most famous ones have their faces painted onto chicken eggs or goose eggs, which are then displayed in collections in the United Kingdom and the United States of America. The tradition was started in the United Kingdom in about 1946.

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A Prayer for Clowns

God bless all clowns
Who star in the world with laughter
Who ring the rafters with flying jest,
Who make the world spin merry on its way
And somehow add more beauty to each day.

God bless all clowns
So poor the world would be
Lacking their piquant, hilarity,
The belly laughs, the ringing lovely mirth
That makes a friendly place of Earth.

God bless all clowns -
Give them a long good life.
Make bright their way - they’re a breed apart!
Alchemists most, who turn their hearts’ pain
Into a dazzling jest to lift the heart.
God bless all clowns.

by Author Unknown

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The nickname for a clown is a Joey, after the English actor, comedian, dancer, and pantomime performer Joseph Grimaldi (18 December 1778 - 31 May 1837).

“But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.” -Carl Sagan

So, are you a hound dog - or a clown dog? Wait, we know . . . you are Ruffy the Clown Hound!

National Clown Week was signed into law on 2 August 1971 by American President Richard Milhous Nixon. It has since become International Clown Week, and is observed from 1 August to 7 August of every year.

There are too many different types of clowns to list them all, but here are a few of them -
- Birthday party clowns
- Carnival clowns
- Circus clowns
- Commercial clowns
- Event clowns
- Random clowns
- Rodeo clowns
- Street performer clowns
- Visiting clowns
What kind of clown would you like to be?

In the early 1970’s, an American doctor named Hunter Doherty ‘Patch’ Adams started the practice of clowning for patients in hospitals, which helps patients recover faster and lightens the gloominess often associated with hospital stays.

Signs That You Might Be a Clown
- You attract crowds wherever you go.
- People compliment you on your big shoes, bright-red nose, and painted-on smile.
- You share your ‘home on wheels’ with a trained seal, a fortune teller, a trapeze artist, and a magician.
- You spend every free minute practicing your routine - in fact, you do not have a moment to spare in your life.
- You have been to more birthday parties than the “Happy Birthday” song has.
- You put sprinkles on everything: ice cream, chicken soup, oatmeal - and you have even thought about putting sprinkles on sprinkles.
- Even your name draws smiles and laughs.
- You will cry yourself to sleep tonight because you think you did not make enough people happy today.
- When someone says he would like to be clown, you are tempted to tell the person, “You might think that being a clown is just fun all day, but many hours of hard work go with the job.” But you don’t, and instead, you do something silly.
- You cannot imagine any other kind of life.

Are you a clown? Are you a clown costume maker? Are you a clown school operator? Do you write skits for clowns? Are you a talent agent who helps clowns find gigs? Do you make portrait paintings of clowns? Do you sell clown supplies? Are you in any way associated with clowning and clowns? If so, you probably need a website to let people know. Visit www.Weebly.com to find out how you can make a website without a whole lot of difficulty or cost. Be sure to let them know you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

A big part of the rodeo clowns’ job is to distract agitated beasts so that thrown horse riders and thrown bull riders can make it to safety without being trampled, chomped, butted, or gored by the animals. Rodeo clowns also do comedy routines to keep crowds entertained between competitions. If you feel comfortable around large animals and you know something about animal nature, and if you want to live a life of danger and have people laugh at you, become a rodeo clown!

Margaret: What protects clowns from the sun?
Maggie: The Bozone layer!

Holy Trinity Church in London, England is dedicated to clowns. The church has a stained-glass window depicting Joseph Grimaldi, who was a major influence on modern clowning. It also has an altar rail where clowns can kneel and pray, and a clowns gallery with items from famous clowns. Once a year, clowns from all over the world attend Holy Trinity Church in makeup and costume for a special service, asking God’s blessing on all clowns everywhere. Holy Trinity Church is in a section of London described as economically depressed, and the citizens are pleased that clowns have their church in an area where laughter is needed the most.

A Clown’s Blessing

May your nose be red and shiny,
     And your smile always bright.
May your cheeks be nice and rosy,
     Your eyes sparkle in the light.
May your shoes be always too big,
     Your costume be perma-pressed,
Your heart overflow with laughter,
     Each time you’re clownishly dressed.
May face paint be at the ready,
     And your balloons be ‘easy-blow.’
May children run to greet you,
     Wherever you may go.

by Author Unknown

Sunny the Clown: Where was Jelly the Clown when the lights went out?
Sparkles the Clown: In the dark!

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The Clown’s Prayer

As I stumble through this life,
     help me to create more laughter than tears,
dispense more happiness than gloom,
     spread more cheer than despair.

Never let me become so indifferent
     that I will fail to see
the wonders in the eyes of a child,
     or the twinkle in the eyes of the aged.

Never let me forget that my total effort
     is to cheer people, make them happy,
and forget momentarily,
     all the unpleasantness in their lives.

And in my final moment,
     may I hear You whisper:
“When you made My people smile,
     you made Me smile.”

by Author Unknown

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Anna: Which clown wears the biggest shoes?
Hannah: The one with the biggest feet, of course!

Now back to even more clowning around . . . on MFOL!

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Fears and Courage

6/10/2019

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“If you’re scared, just holler and you’ll find it ain’t so lonesome out there.” -Joe Sugden (Joseph ‘Joe’ Sugden (1870 - 1959))

“Action cancels fear.” -Silver Rose

“We learn courageous action by going forward whenever fear urges us back. A little boy was asked how he learned to skate. ‘Oh, by getting up every time I fell down,’ he answered.” -David Seabury (1885 - 1960)

Heights Made Him Dizzy

There was a young fellow so frail
He could fly on a kite - as the tail.
     That gave him a view
     From Maine to Peru;
But when he looked down he turned pale!

by John Ciardi (John Anthony Ciardi (1916 - 1986))

“When you are afraid, do the thing you are afraid of and soon you will lose your fear of it.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

Reality of Fear

You’re not scared of the dark;
     You’re scared of what’s in it.
You’re not afraid of heights;
     You’re afraid of falling.
You’re not afraid of the people around you;
     You’re afraid of rejection or mistreatment.
You’re not afraid of love;
     You’re afraid of not being lovable.

by Author Unknown

“To have courage for whatever comes in life - everything lies in that.” -Teresa of Ávila (Teresa de Cepeda y Ahumada (1515 - 1582))

“A lot of people are afraid of heights; not me, I’m afraid of widths.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955)): “Steven Wright Special” (1985)

“You’ll never do a whole lot unless you’re brave enough to try.” -Dolly Parton (born 1946)

“Fears are educated into us and can, if we wish, be educated out.” -Karl A. Menninger (Karl Augustus Menninger (1893 - 1990))

“We have to start teaching ourselves not to be afraid.” -Will Faulkner (William Cuthbert ‘Will’ Faulkner (1897 - 1962))

“Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.” -Brendan Francis (Brendan Francis Aidan Behan (1923 - 1964))

Fear is a slinking cat I find
     Beneath the lilacs of my mind.
-Sophie Tunnell (Sophia Letitia ‘Sophie’ Tunnell (1884 - 1936))

“Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway.” -John Wayne (pseudonym of Marion Michael Morrison (1907 - 1979))

“What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” -Author Unknown

A psychologist, interviewed on the Steve Allen Show, announced that the only two instinctive fears in man are a fear of loud noises and a fear of falling. “I have a great fear,” replied Steve Allen (Stephen Valentine Patrick William Allen (1921 - 2000)), without missing a beat, “of making a loud noise while falling.”

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” -Mary Anne Radmacher

“Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.” -Michael Pritchard

“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?” -Vincent van Gogh (Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 - 1890))

“If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try.” -Seth Godin (born 1960)

“F.E.A.R. has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Risk.’ You decide.” -Author Unknown

“FEAR is an acronym in the English language for ‘False Evidence Appearing Real.’” -Neale Donald Walsch (born 1943)

“Do what you fear and fear disappears.” -David J. Schwartz (David Joseph Schwartz, Junior (1927 - 1987))

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” -Marie Curie (Marie Sklodowska-Curie (1867 - 1934))

“Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small.” -Ruth Gendler (J. Ruth Gendler)

Overheard: I discovered I scream the same way whether I am about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

“Perhaps the most important thing we can undertake toward the reduction of fear is to make it easier for people to accept themselves; to like themselves.” -Bonaro Overstreet (Bonaro Wilkinson Overstreet (1902 - 1985))

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” -Theodore Roosevelt (Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919))

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself . . . and spiders!

“You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“The thing I fear most is fear.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)): “Essais” (“Essays”) (1595), Book 1, chapter 18

“Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Happiness is a form of courage.” -Holbrook Jackson (George ‘Holbrook’ Jackson (1874 - 1948))

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” -Anaïs Nin (born Angela Anaïs Juana Antolina Rosa Edelmira Nin y Culmell (1903 - 1977)): “Diary” (1969)

“The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone.” -Henrik Ibsen (1828 - 1906): “An Enemy of the People” (1882), act 5

Luposlipaphobia is a persistent fear of being pursued by timber wolves around a kitchen table while wearing socks on a newly-waxed floor. This is actually a fictional phobia created by Gary Larson (born 1950), found in his “Far Side” comics.

“Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is.” -Author Unknown: German proverb

“I laugh in the face of danger. And then I hide until it goes away.” -Buffy (portrayed by actress Xander Harris)

“Courage is fear that has said its prayers.” -Dorothy Bernard (Nora Dorothy ‘Dorothy’ Bernard (1890 - 1955))

“Fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.” -Shirley MacLaine (pseudonym of Shirley MacLean Beaty (born 1934))

“Anything I’ve ever done that ultimately was worthwhile . . . initially scared me to death.” -Betty Bender (born 1948)

“The only way to get rid of my fears is to make films about them.” -Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)

New things to fear are emerging constantly in our ever-changing world. Learning to overcome the associated fears as they appear is a life-long process.

“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” -George Addair (George Washington Addair, Junior (1931 - 2012))

“Fear is nature’s warning signal to get busy.” -Henry C. Link (Henry Charles Link (1889 - 1952))

“When you do what you fear most, then you can do anything.” -Stephen Richards

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” -Ambrose Redmoon (Ambrose Hollingworth Redmoon (pseudonym of James Neil Hollingworth (1933 - 1996)))

“What you are afraid to do is a clear indicator of the next thing you need to do.” -Author Unknown

“To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another.” -Katherine Paterson (born 1932): “Jacob I Have Loved” (1980)

“Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities because as has been said, it is the quality which guarantees all others.” -Winston Churchill (Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill (1874 - 1965)): “Great Contemporaries” (1932)

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Book of Psalms,’ Psalm 27, verse 1

“The phrase ‘do not be afraid’ is written in the Bible 365 times. That’s a daily reminder from God to live every day being fearless.” -Author Unknown

“I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me.” -Erica Jong (born 1942)

“He who seeks to terrify others is more in fear himself.” -Claudian (Claudius Claudianus (about C.E. 370 - about C.E. 404))

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward, it is not a compliment to say it is brave.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)): “Pudd’nhead Wilson” (1894), chapter 12

“Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others.” -Robert Louis Stevenson (1850 - 1894)

“Courage grows by daring, fear by holding back.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.” -Mary Tyler Moore (1937 - 2017)

“Courage is doing what you are afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you’re scared.” -John Dewey (1859 - 1952)

“Fears are nothing more than states of mind.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ . . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962)): “You Learn by Living” (1960)

“To one who is afraid, everything rustles.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“Courage from hearts and not from numbers grows.” -John Dryden (1631 - 1700)

“We must travel in the direction of our fear.” -John Berryman (1914 - 1972)

“You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983): as quoted in W. H. Auden and Louis Kronenberger, editors: “The Faber Book of Aphorisms” (1962)

“Courage is very important. Like a muscle, it is strengthened by use.” -Ruth Gordon

“How very little can be done under the spirit of fear.” -Florence Nightingale (1820 - 1910)

“Be brave. Even if you’re not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (Harriett Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940)): “Life’s Little Instruction Book” (1991)

“What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.” -Tim Ferriss (Timothy ‘Tim’ Ferriss (born 1977))

“Give yourself a pat on the back each time you hang in there when you’re scared.” -Marilyn Barrick (Marilyn Cooper Barrick (1932 - 2007))

“Stop letting fear rule your life.” -Author Unknown

14 October of every year is National Face Your Fears Day.

“You do not have to be fearless, just don’t let fear stop you.” -Charles Day

“Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it . . . that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them.” -Livy (Titus Livius (59 B.C.E. - C.E. 17.))

“Do you really want to look back on your life and see how wonderful it could have been had you not been afraid to live it?” -Caroline Myss (born 1952)

“If you do not do the thing you fear, the fear controls your life.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

Overheard: Don’t let your fears win.

“There is no courage without fear.” -Author Unknown

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945))

“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.” -Dorothy Thompson (1894 - 1961)

“Courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid. Courage means you don’t let fear stop you.” -Bethany Hamilton (Bethany Meilani Hamilton-Dirks (born 1990))

“Courage is a muscle that you can develop.” -Tony Robbins (Anthony Jay ‘Tony’ Robbins (1960))

“If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“The only known cure for fear is faith.” -Lena Kellogg Sadler (1875 - 1939)

“Tell a man he is brave, and you help him to become so.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is freedom.” -Marilyn Ferguson

“We cannot escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us on all our exciting adventures.” -Susan Jeffers (Susan Jane Jeffers (1938 - 2012)): “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” (1987)

Fear not, brave soul, for there is no shortage of fun, right here on MFOL! . . . just courageously continue down the page . . .

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Riddles and Puzzles

6/9/2019

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Riddle: What do you get if you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a terrier?
Solution: A hot-diggity-dog!

Riddle: What do cars, trees, and elephants all have in common?
Solution: They all have trunks.

Do you enjoy riddles and puzzles? Well, then, you have come to the right place. We think you will have a lot of fun pondering these mini-mysteries.

Riddle: What can you hold without touching?
Solution: Your breath.

Riddle: What do you get if you cross a cat and a parrot?
Solution: A carrot.

Riddles are of two types.
- Enigmas, which are problems generally expressed in metaphorical or allegorical languages, and which require ingenuity and careful thinking for their solution.
- Conundrums, which are questions relying for their effects on punning in either the question or in the answer.

Riddle: What is brown and sticky?
Solution: A stick.

Riddle: What can you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?
Solution: A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush.

Puzzles are games, toys, or problems designed to test skill, ingenuity, or knowledge. Examples of puzzles are crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, and mazes.

Riddle: What do you get if you cross a porcupine with a sheep?
Solution: An animal that knits its own sweaters.

Riddle: I follow you everywhere you go. Who am I?
Solution: I am your shadow.

English journalist Arthur Wayne is credited with being the inventor of the modern crossword. The diamond-shaped puzzle appeared in the “New York World” newspaper on 21 December 1913.

Crossword Compiler

A crossword compiler named Moss,
Who found himself quite at a loss,
When asked, “Why so blue?”
Said, “I haven’t a clue -
I’m 2 Down to put 1 Across.”

by Author Unknown

When the first book of crossword puzzles was published, the creator received $500 down and $300 across.

Riddle: What flies without wings?
Solution: Time.

Riddle: What is better than the best thing and worse than the worst thing?
Solution: Nothing.

Riddle:
We are four siblings in this world that were all born together.
The first he runs and never wearies,
The second eats and is never full.
The third he drinks and is ever thirsty,
And the fourth sings a song that is never good.
Who are we?
Solution:
We are Water, Fire, Earth, and Wind.

Riddle: What has two arms, two wings, two tails, three heads, three bodies, and eight legs?
Solution: A man on a horse holding a chicken.

Riddle: Why are lost items always in the last place you look?
Solution: Because when you find them, you stop looking.

Riddle: What has a man’s name, is as small as a mouse, and wears a red vest?
Solution: A robin.

Ed: Pete and Repeat were sitting on a log and Pete fell off - who was left?
Fred: Repeat.
Ed: Pete and Repeat were sitting on a log and Pete fell off - who was left?
Fred: Repeat.
Ed: Pete and Repeat . . .

Riddle: What belongs to you but is used more often by others?
Solution: Your name.

Riddle: Which is faster, heat or cold?
Solution: Heat, because people can catch a cold.

Riddle:
Proprietors of an ice cream shop want to host a giveaway day to boost business. To avoid large crowds, however, they do not want to advertise the free ice cream cone day broadly. Instead, they post three clues as to the date.
1. The giveaway will be in the first week of a month without an ‘a’ in it.
2. It will be on a day of the week that has a ‘u’ in it.
3. The month has no ‘e’ but the day of the week has an ‘e.’
Can you figure out when to go for a free cone?
Solution:
The first Tuesday in July is free ice cream day.

Riddle: I have a face and two hands; what am I?
Solution: A clock.

Riddle: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
Solution: One has claws at the end of its paws, and one is a pause at the end of a clause.

Riddle: What is so fragile that it can be broken just by the sound of someone speaking?
Solution: Silence.

Riddle: What does the following tell you about Calvin?
○ Appreciated
○ Calvin
○ Weight
Solution: Calvin is ‘underappreciated’ and ‘overweight.’

Riddle: What five-letter word becomes shorter when two letters are added to it?
Solution: Short.

Riddle: Joe was asked how many ducks he had seen. He answered, “As they ran along a path, I saw one duck in front of two ducks, a duck behind two ducks, and a duck between two ducks.” How many ducks did Joe see?
Solution: Joe saw three ducks, running along a path in single file.

Riddle: If you take away the whole, some still remains - what is it?
Solution: Wholesome.

Riddle: What can you not keep until you have given it?
Solution: Your word.

Riddle: How can you arrange for two people to stand on the same piece of newspaper and yet be unable to touch each other without stepping off the newspaper?
Solution: Slide the newspaper half way under a closed door and ask the two people to stand on the part of the newspaper on their side of the door.

Riddle: Forward I am heavy, but backward I am not. What am I?
Solution: Forward I am ‘ton,’ backwards I am ‘not.’

Riddle: What question can someone ask all day long, always get completely different answers, and yet all the answers could be correct?
Solution: “What time is it?”

Riddle: David’s father has three sons; two of them are John and William; what is the name of David’s father’s third son?
Solution: David.

Riddle: What can swallow you if you do not swallow it first?
Solution: Pride.

Riddle: What asks no question but demands an answer?
Solution: A telephone.

Riddle: Two legs sat upon four legs eating one leg. In came four legs - and out went four legs with one leg. Close behind was two legs, without one leg, shaking four legs at four legs.
Solution: A person sat on a chair eating a chicken leg. In comes a dog - and out it went with the chicken leg. Close behind was the person, without the chicken leg, shaking the chair at the dog.

Riddle: I run around but never race, my hands are always on my face, I cannot count very many numbers, you hit me and I let you slumber - what am I?
Solution: An alarm clock.

Riddle: What stays hot even if you put it in the refrigerator?
Solution: Pepper.

Riddle: What part of you disappears when you stand up?
Solution: Your lap.

Riddle: Name three things that have eyes but that cannot see.
Solution: Sewing needles, storms, and potatoes.

Riddle: What has no fingers, but many rings?
Solution: A tree.

Riddle: What has one eye but cannot see?
Solution: A needle.

Riddle: Four legs sat on four legs waiting for four legs to come out of its hole.
Solution: A cat sat on a chair waiting for a mouse to come out of its hole.

Riddle: What is white when it is dirty and black when it is clean?
Solution: A chalkboard (blackboard).

Riddle: What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
Solution: They both live underground, apart from the eagle.

Riddle: I work only after I have been fired. Who am I?
Solution: I am a rocket.

Riddle: Why did Beethoven not finish the “Unfinished Symphony”?
Solution: Because the Unfinished Symphony was started by Schubert, not Beethoven.

Riddle: What room is never entered?
Solution: A mushroom.

Riddle: What never was and never will be?
Solution: A mouse’s nest in a cat’s ear.

Riddle: A man built a house with all four sides facing south. A bear walked past the house. What color is the bear?
Solution: The bear is a white polar bear, and the house is at the North Pole.

Riddle: What is the first thing you know?
Solution: “The first thing you know, Old Jed’s a millionaire. The kin folks said, ‘Jed, move away from there!’”

Riddle: What is the biggest room in the world?
Solution: Room for improvement.

Polly: What is the difference between ‘ignorance’ and ‘apathy?’
Esther: ‘I do not know,’ and ‘I do not care’!
Polly: You answered correctly!

Riddle: What do you find in the middle of nowhere?
Solution: The letter ‘h.’

Riddle: What did the eye say to the ear?
Solution: Do you hear what I see, hear what I see, hear what I see?

“Do I rue a life wasted doing crosswords? No, but I do know the three-letter-word for regret.” -Robert Brault

Riddle: What is easy to get into but hard to get out of?
Solution: Trouble.

Riddle: The more you take, the more you leave behind - what is it?
Solution: Footsteps.

Riddle: If a north-facing rooster was sitting at the point of the roof of a building on the Earth’s equator at exactly 12:00 noon, and laid an egg, which side of the roof would the egg roll down?
Solution: Roosters do not lay eggs, you silly goose - hens lay eggs!

“If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog? Five? No - calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.” -Abraham Lincoln

Riddle: What is the difference between an onion and an oboe?
Solution: Nobody cries when you chop up an oboe.

Riddle: If leather makes good shoes, what do banana skins make?
Solution: Good slippers!

Puzzle Poem

When it’s boring
Because of rainy weather
Nothing’s so fun as
Putting a puzzle together.

by Author Unknown

Riddle: What has four legs and feathers?
Solution: A featherbed.

Riddle: Brian’s mom has four children. The first was a boy named Jerry. The second was a girl named Susan. The third was a boy called Robert, and the fourth was another boy. What was his name?
Solution: Brian.

Riddle: What has four legs but no feet?
Solution: A table.

Jigsaw Puzzle fans are called ‘dissectologists’ and have a society called the Benevolent Confraternity of Dissectologists.

Riddle: What has to be broken before it can be used?
Solution: An egg.

Math Problem: $21 in one-dollar bills is split evenly among two fathers and two sons. How is this possible?
Solution: There are only three people: a grandfather, a father, and the father’s son, who each receive $7.

Riddle: What has six legs, four eyes, and five ears?
Solution: A man sitting on a horse eating an ear of corn.

Riddle: What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?
Solution: A dressmaker sews what she gathers, and a farmer gathers what he sows.

“The nice thing about doing a crossword puzzle is, you know there is a solution.” -Stephen Sondheim

In 2008, 15,000 enthusiasts took five hours to assemble the world’s largest puzzle, in Ravensburg, Germany. It had 1,141,800 pieces and measured 65 feet by 98 feet.

Riddle: How can you tell when there’s been an elephant in your refrigerator?
Solution: By the footprints in the butter.

This is MFOL! . . . a website most puzzling indeed . . .

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Birthdays

6/5/2019

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A man said to his wife “What do you want for your birthday?” She said, “Surprise me.” So he said, “Boo!”

Did you know that your birthday comes 31,536,000 seconds after your last birthday? Wow! Seems too long, doesn’t it?

Patient: Doctor, I burn my tongue every time I eat birthday cake.
Doctor: Next time, take the candles off first.

Official recordkeeping of birthdates for people in the civilized world started in the 19th century (1800’s). Birth records before then were often not very precise and records were not made for the majority of the people. In fact, it was not uncommon for people in earlier times to not know the date of their birth or their exact age with certainty.

Dave: I want to buy my girlfriend a birthday present. What do you think she would like?
Wendy: Does she like you?
Dave: Yes, I’m positive she likes me.
Wendy: Well, then, if she likes you, she’ll like just about anything.

“It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest.” -S. den Hartog

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bacon.
Bacon, who?
Bacon my friend a birthday cake!

Did you know you share your birthday with more than nineteen million other people in the world? That makes for a pretty big birthday party!

“Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.” -Jean Paul (pseudonym of Johann Paul Friedrich Richter (1763 - 1825))

Husband to wife: “How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?”

So, if a person’s birthday falls on 29 February, when does he or she celebrate it in non-leap-years? Are people who are born on 29 February called leapers, leaplings, leapans, leapsters, or something else entirely?

To my brother,
Happy birthday to you!
Did you know I live in a canoe? -
It’s a little crowded in here,
What with the moose and the family of squirrels
440,618 rabbits, a rabbi, a priest, and a minister,
A duck, a clown, and an assortment of spiders -
Has anyone seen my right shoe?
Let’s get some frosting and candles on that cake.
Happy birthday to you!
by Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

If you live in very merry England, you will receive a birthday card from the Queen for your 100th birthday and 105th birthday, and then another card each year thereafter.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Abby.
Abby, who?
Abby birthday to you!

Birthday cake: A sweet reward for making it through another trip around the Sun.

Question: What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow?
Answer: A birthday pheasant!

Question: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
Answer: Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!

An elderly lady was being interviewed by reporters on the occasion of her 100th birthday. “What do you think is the reason for your long life?” they asked her. “Oh,” she replied, “I suppose it’s because I was born such a long time ago.”

The largest birthday cake in the world was made in 1989 to celebrate the 100th birthday of the city of Fort Payne, Alabama, United States of America. The cake weighed more than 128,000 pounds and had more than 16,000 pounds of icing.

What do you give a person who already has everything? Try one of the following:
- a shot of penicillin
- a burglar alarm
- someplace to put it all
- a shoulder to cry on
- a calendar that shows when their payments are due
- the website address www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Rudy: When’s your birthday?
Ruby: June 8th.
Rudy: What year?
Ruby: Every year!

You could walk the distance in three days that an average garden snail has covered since your last birthday.

Question: What does every birthday party end with?
Answer: The letter ‘y.’

The Sun has traveled 584,337,600 miles since your last birthday.

Close your eyes, make a secret wish, and blow out the candles on your birthday cake . . . 106 candles should make for a great wish!

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Happy Birthday to You

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear (insert name of birthday guy or gal here)
Happy birthday to you.

by Patty Hill and Mildred J. Hill (1893)

Following the singing of the song above, an additional line is often added: “And many more!”

The popular “Happy Birthday to You” song was written by two sisters, Patty Hill and Mildred J. Hill, of Louisville, Kentucky, United States of America. Patty Hill was a kindergarten principal, and her sister Mildred J. Hill was a pianist and music composer. The song was originally written as “Good Morning to All,” which was revised to “Good Morning to You,” and then eventually became “Happy Birthday to You.” The song has been in the public domain since at least February 2016, meaning that is not copyrighted and anyone can freely use it as they see fit, for either private or commercial purposes . . . so sing away!

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Question: When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
Answer: When it has been sliced.

Because of a minor infraction, a shipmate aboard the USS Reeves, bound for Japan, was dropped one rank, fined, and given extra duty for three weeks. Looking forward to celebrating his 21st birthday on 22 July, he consoled himself every night during his extra duty by reciting, “They can demote me, they can fine me - but they can’t take away my birthday.” As 22 July approached, his excitement increased. When he went to bed on 21 July, he happily repeated, “They can demote me, they can fine me - but they can’t take away my birthday.” Upon awakening the next morning, he found out that the ship had crossed the international date line - and it was 23 July.

The most popular birthday in the world is Christmas Day, which is a celebration of Jesus of Nazareth’s birthday.

“Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.” -Author Unknown

When it comes to adult birthdays, just because you are no longer a child does not mean you have to stop celebrating your birthday. Do not think of a birthday as celebrating being another year older, think of it as celebrating all the good things that have happened over the past year.

Overheard: I tried to bake you a birthday cake but . . . the candles melted in the oven.

The earliest known birthday party invitation was sent out in about C.E. 100 by Claudia Severa, who was the wife of the Roman commander Aelius Brocchus. The invitations were written on wooden leaf fragments known as ‘Vindolanda Tablets.’ They are preserved in the British Museum.

“Birthdays are a great time to stop and appreciate gravity. Sure, it makes things sag as you get older, but it also keeps your birthday cake from flying all over the room so you don’t have to chase it.” -Greg Tamblyn

Kate’s Birthday

There once was a lady named Kate,
Whose birthday was on this fine date.
     She wanted a cake,
     But her friends could not bake,
So her candles just sat on a plate.

by Author Unknown

Riddle: A boy was born in 1901, and he just had his 18th birthday today - how did this happen?
Answer: 1901 is not the year he was born, it was the number of the hospital room in which he was born.

Angie: What do they serve at birthday parties in Heaven?
Angela: Angel food cake, of course!

An Acrostic Birthday Wish

B - Be yourself.
I - Invite new challenges.
R - Recall past achievements.
T - Trust your judgments.
H - Have faith in your abilities.
D - Desire only the best.
A - Affirm your strengths.
Y - You’ve got what it takes!

by Author Unknown
(An acrostic poem or list is one in which the first letter of each of the lines can be combined to spell a word or phrase; in this instance, the word is ‘birthday.’)

Overheard: My brother was sort of odd; I remember that on one of his birthdays, he fell down a well, so we lowered his birthday cake down to him - and he didn’t even tug on the rope to say thanks!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Wanda!
Wanda, who?
Wanda wish you a happy birthday!

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Birthdays

We had waffles-with-syrup for breakfast
     As many as we could hold;
And I had some presents extra,
     Because I am nine years old.

I’ve thanked everyone for my presents,
     And kissed ’em, and now that that’s done
The family’s all ready to do things,
     Whatever I think would be fun.

When Timothy had his birthday
     We went to the circus, and Tim
Made friends with the seals and the monkeys
     And a real clown winked at him.

And Dorothy chose a picnic
     On the shores of a little lake,
With tadpoles, and buns, and diving,
     And a four-layer birthday cake.

And now that it’s my turn for choosing,
     I’m going to ask if we might
Take all of our family of rabbits
     To bed with us just for tonight.

by Marchette Chute (1909 - 1994)

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A man asked his wife, “What would you like most for your birthday?” She said, “I’d love to be ten again.” So, on the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park: the Merry-Go-Round, the Slippery Super Slide, the Loop-the-Loop Roller-Coaster, and the Giant Ferris Wheel. They did not leave a single ride out. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Into a restaurant they went, where she was given a double cheeseburger with extra fries and a strawberry shake. Then off to a movie theater, for a show and popcorn, candy, and cola. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed on the sofa. Her husband asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?” One eye opened and she groaned, “I meant the dress size.”

“I thought I would share some of my childhood birthday memories with you, so here they are. When I was a child my family was so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older. I didn’t even get to celebrate my 14th birthday until I was 38 years old.” -Author Unknown

“The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” -E. Joseph Cossman (Eli Joseph Cossman (1918 - 2002))

“My son asked me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $85! Then I thought . . . I can get one cheaper off the web.” -Author Unknown

Were you born on your birthday?

“The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.” -Robert Orben

“All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece . . . but not too much!” -Author Unknown

Did you have fun today? If you put your imagination to work, you can have fun today, tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that . . . imagine a whole lifetime of fun!

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Monsters

6/3/2019

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Even monsters like to have fun. Here we see Frankenstein’s Monster and Wolf Man sharing a laugh.

Arnie: What is big, red, and eats rocks?
Arnold: A big red rock eater!

Lydia: Why don’t monsters play hide-and-seek?
Lindsey: Who would want to look for them?

“There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.” -André Gide (André Paul Guillaume Gide (1869 - 1951))

Estelle: Where should a 3,000-pound monster go?
Esther: On a diet!

Hughie: Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
Goldie: Because he wanted a light snack.

Teratrophobia is a persistent fear of monsters, but did you know that the reason monsters hide under beds, ghosts hide in vacant houses, and the boogieman hides in closets is that they are all afraid of you?

Pauline: What is the best way to speak to a big scary monster?
Lynette: From a long distance!

Dom: What do monsters call human beings?
Don: Breakfast, lunch, and dinner!

Monster Facts
- A monster is an imaginary creature that is often large or frightening in appearance.
- Monsters can be ogres, ghouls, goblins, half-human-half-animals, space aliens, sea monsters, or any of many other types.
- A group of monsters is called a gang, a troupe, or a horror.
- Monsters will eat anything, including people, buildings, rocks, and lasagna.
- If you see a motionless monster, do not poke it with a stick to see if it is alive, because it might be just taking a nap - and monsters can wake up grumpy or hungry from their naps.
- People often mistake ordinary animals and other people for monsters when they cannot see them clearly, as for example, when it is dark or wooded.

Manny: When is the best time to talk to a monster?
Manuel: When it isn’t hungry!

Ronnie: What did the monster eat after the dentist worked on its teeth?
Ronald: The dentist.

Ghouls

Do ghouls
Go out
On a rainy day?
When it
Splishes and
Splashes,
Do
Ghouls
Wear
Ghoul-oshes?

by Lilian Moore

Mae: What is the best way to talk to a huge hideous scary monster?
Kay: By long-distance phone call.

Julius: Why did the monster cross the road?
Julia: Why, are you afraid to ask him?

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Arthur.
Arthur, who?
Arthur any monsters under the bed?

Chet: What should you do with a blue monster?
Chester: Cheer her up!

Myrtle: How do you make a blue monster green?
Gertie: Take her on a roller coaster ride!

It’s Boring Being a Monster

It’s boring being a monster,
     Chasing kids around,
Hiding underneath their beds,
     Not making any sound -
It’s boring waiting on the stairs,
     Hoping they’ll walk by,
Boring making little creaks,
     Trying to make kids cry.
It takes so long to learn this trade,
     To skulk and tap and moan,
It’s boring waiting all the time
     In someone else’s home.
I want to see the world out there,
     I want to make some friends,
Waiting for the night-time
     Never seems to end.
I’d like to slide down banisters,
     Shriek and yell and scream,
Boogie to some disco songs,
     Let off a bit of steam,
I’d like to run around the house,
     Turn on all the lights,
Eat marshmallows, watch TV,
     On dark and dismal nights.
I’d like to have a bath sometimes,
     And clean my smelly hair -
Put some decent clothes on,
     For someone who would care.
I’d like to sit down to a meal,
     Smile and laugh and chat,
Have a coffee and ice-cream,
     Put on a little fat.
I dream of being normal,
     Having a little fun -
It’s boring being a monster,
     When all is said and done.

by Author Unknown

Annette: What do you call a monster that has a bunch of children?
Annie: A momster!

Pierce: Where can lost monsters be found?
Percy: Monsters are so big that they never get lost.

These ‘monsters’ are just silly people in costumes.

Howard: What does a boy monster call a girl who has three eyes, two noses, and three mouths?
Howie: Cute!

Melonie: How does a monster count to twenty-three?
Melody: On his fingers.

Alvin Schwartz’s book “Kickle Snifters” (1 January 1976) describes creatures that maybe don’t really exist. The rubberado moves by bouncing, and laughs each time it lands. Bouncing is the only way a rubberado can get around. The squonk is always crying. If you catch a squonk and put it in a sack, it will cry so hard that nothing is left but a puddle. Kickle snifters live in old men’s beards. They laugh all the time because beards tickle. When a wunk gets scared, it digs a hole and jumps in, and then it pulls the hole in after it. These and other creatures are found in this astounding book available at your local public library and through booksellers.

Bartholomew: Why did the Blob eat the North Pole?
Barry: Because it wanted a frozen dinner.

Dorothy: What’s the difference between a huge, scary monster and a puppy?
Dottie: People like puppies.

Official Bedtime Checklist for Monsters in the Home
□ Say loudly, “Come out, come out, wherever you are!”
□ Check under beds with flashlight.
□ Check behind curtains.
□ Look in closets.
□ Look behind you.
□ Listen for noises.
□ Look inside all major appliances: washing machine, dryer, refrigerator, oven.
□ Jump into bed and hide under the covers.
□ Breath deep and relax.
□ Sweet dreams!

Eve: Why did the monster knit herself three socks?
Evelyn: Because she grew another foot.

Pearl: What happened to the monster who took the five o’clock train home?
Ruby: He had to give it back.

“Don’t eat with your fingers, dear,” said the humongous monster to her son. “Use your shovel.”

Patricia: How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?
Patty: Give him some screws.

Zeke: What do you say when you greet a two-headed monster?
Ezekiel: “Hello! Hello!”

Ghoul

A ghoul stood on a bridge one night,
Its lips were all a-quiver;
     It gave a cough,
     Its leg fell off,
And floated down the river.

by Author Unknown
(Don’t worry for the ghoul - it grew a new leg - but for almost a month it had the nickname ‘Hop-Along.’)

Floyd: Why did everyone laugh when the ogre sat down to play the grand piano?
Lloyd: Because there wasn’t a piano bench!

Florence: Where do ogres dance?
Laurence: At the odd ball!

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The Monster

I thought I saw a monster
     Underneath my bed -
His tongue was yellow,
     And his eyes were red.

I thought I saw a monster
     Underneath my chair -
His face was purple,
     And he had pink hair.

I thought I saw a monster
     In my room last night -
His legs were orange,
     And his feet were white.

I thought I saw a monster
     And that he saw me -
But don’t tell my mother,
     She’ll be scared you see.

by Author Unknown

<0>_^_^_<0>    <0>_^_^_<0>    <0>_^_^_<0>    <0>_^_^_<0>    <0>_^_^_<0>

Daniel: What did the ogre get for his birthday?
Danny: Another year older!

Cecilia: What is green and purple and goes, “Crunch, crunch”?
Amelia: A monster eating crackers in bed.

Aggie: Why can’t you join a monster in a glass of milk?
Agnes: Because there isn’t room for both of you in one glass.

“Two heads are better than one . . . as every two-headed monster will tell you.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Brenda: What kind of fur do you get from a monster?
Branden: As fur as you can get.

First Monster: There is an awful rumbling in my stomach - like a cart going over a cobblestone street.
Second Monster: It is probably just that truck you ate for dinner.

Monsters Quiz
- Are monsters real?
- Is ‘imagination run wild’ a good definition of a monster, and what other ways are there to describe a monster?
- After escaping from our imaginations, where do monsters go to live?
- Are there enough monsters in the world, or should we use our imaginations to make some more?
- What should you do if you see a monster?
- Can you draw a monster for us?

Dawn: What is big, scary, and has three wheels?
Don: A monster riding a tricycle!

Clarissa: Where can a monster always find a friend?
Melissa: In the dictionary.

Why do monsters hide under beds?
- They feel safe there.
- They hope to hear a bedtime story.
- They can just roll right into the space.
- It’s like, out of sight, man.
- Monster hunters rarely go under beds.
- They’re afraid you might eat them.

Stan: What is the best thing about being a two-headed monster?
Lee: You can always tell when you have bad breath.

Mandy: How does a ghoul eat?
Amanda: By goblin.

Overheard: I am 36 years old, and I am still afraid that there are monsters under my bed, and that they will eat my feet and hands if they dangle off the edge of the bed!

Sylvia: Who grants wishes to unhappy goblins?
Leah: Their scary godmother.

Owen: What should you do if a monster shows up at your door?
Osmer: Hope it’s Halloween!

Gorgon

The Gorgon, it’s known, is quite prone
To stare and turn people to stone.
     Some Greek myths declare
     She had snakes for hair.
It’s enough to make Frankenstein groan.

by Author Unknown

Lemuel: Why do demons and ghouls spend so much time together?
Samuel: Because demons are a ghoul’s best fiend.

Phoebe: Why did it take the monster ten months to finish a book?
Ophelia: Because he wasn’t very hungry.

Do ghouls gorge on goulash?

Daddy Monster: Why does our little boy have so many holes in his head?
Mommy Monster: Isn’t it just darling? He’s learning to eat with a fork today.

Eli: What is round and green, is covered with yellow hair, has big scaly claws, weighs five hundred pounds, and goes, “Peckety-peck-peck!”?
Lilly: There is no such creature, you silly person!

Sometimes, one joke is just not enough to get a monster through the day, so we have many monster jokes. Now go out there and make monstrous fun of life - because out there is where it is all happening!

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Anger and Rage

5/31/2019

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Please do not blow your top, because we might not be able to find all the pieces and put you back together . . .

“We can’t let the anger overshadow the good things in life.” -Author Unknown

“Every time you give someone a piece of your mind, you make your head a little emptier.” -Author Unknown

“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.” -Eckhart Tolle

“The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn’t angry enough.” -Bede Jarrett

“There is no angry way to say ‘bubbles.’” -Author Unknown

“The best remedy for anger is delay.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65)): “De ira” (“On Anger”)

“Don’t let the Sun go down upon your anger; forgive each other, help each other, and begin again tomorrow.” -Louisa May Alcott (1832 - 1888)

“Letting off steam always produces more heat than light.” -Neal A. Maxwell (Neal Ash Maxwell (1926 - 2004)): “Murmur Not” in “Ensign” (November 1989) magazine, page 84

Riddle: What is round and has a bad temper?
Solution: A vicious circle.

“Don’t ever slam a door; you might want to go back.” -Author Unknown

“Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.” -Chérie Carter-Scott (born 1939) www.drcherie.com

“People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.” -Will Rogers (William Penn Adair ‘Will’ Rogers (1879 - 1935))

Angrophobia is a persistent fear of anger or of becoming angry. Many folks look ridiculous and do regrettable actions or speak in haste when angry, so perhaps the phobia stems in part from a fear of doing permanent damage to their personal images and reputations.

“The broad general rule is that a person is no bigger than the things that make him or her angry.” -Author Unknown

Hangry (han-gree), adjective: A state of anger caused by lack of food; hunger causing a negative change in emotional state.

“The line between hunger and anger is a thin line.” -John E. Steinbeck (1902 - 1968): “The Grapes of Wrath”

“Sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.” -Author Unknown

“You can’t stay mad at someone who makes you laugh.” -Jay Leno (born 1950)

“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” -Author Unknown: Chinese proverb

“Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.” -Lemony Snicket (pseudonym of Daniel Handler (born 1970))

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A Bag of Nails

Once upon a time, there lived a little boy, and he had a very bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the wooden fence that surrounded their home.

The first day, the boy hammered an entire handful of nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails he hammered into the fence each day became fewer in number. He had discovered that it was easier for him to hold his temper than it was to drive nails into the fence.

Finally, the day came when the boy did not lose his temper at all. He told his father about this, and his father suggested that the boy then pull out one nail for each day that he had been able to control his temper.

The days passed, and at last, the young boy could finally tell his father that all the nails he had hammered into the fence had been removed.

The father led his son to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at all the holes in the fence. The nails are gone, but the fence itself will never be the same.”

The little boy then understood how powerful his words were. He looked up at his father and said, “I hope I can be forgiven for all the damage my anger has done to people.”

by Author Unknown

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“When you are angry say nothing and do nothing until you have recited the alphabet.” -Athenodorus Cananites

“Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.” -Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)

“Just try to be angry with someone who fed you something delicious.” -Carmen Cook

“Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind.” -Robert G. Ingersoll (Robert Green ‘Bob’ Ingersoll (1833 - 1899))

“Most people usually do not assume responsibility for their anger. Instead, what we typically hear is, “You made me angry.” “They made me upset,” etc. I trust it is evident that these types of statements are not true. No one else can ‘make’ you angry. We have to make ourselves angry. What others say and do is, yes, a part of the equation, but without our contribution to the equation, anger cannot arise nor exist. This can be a very threatening conception of anger, and yet it is also very freeing, for as long as we do determine our own emotional responses, we are free to change and to control them. If other people or events were, in fact, responsible for our emotional responses, then we would not have the freedom nor ability to change them - unless we could control other people and events, which is much more challenging and usually impossible. Thus, principle one in the case against anger is, we are ultimately responsible for our own anger.” -Burton C. Kelly: “Let All . . . Anger . . . Be Put Away from You . . . or the Case Against Anger” as published in the “AMCAP Journal” (February 1979), pages 6 through 13

“Speak when you’re angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887)

“A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.” -Bruce Lee (1940 - 1973)

“Anger is a bad adviser.” -Author Unknown: French proverb

“Anger and worry are caused by phantoms that we create within ourselves and whose only strength is that with which we endow them.” -Horace Fletcher: “Menticulture” (1895)

“When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.” -Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)

“Anger is a feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.” -Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)

“I understand the fury in your words, but not the words.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Othello” (about 1603)

“There was never an angry man that thought his anger unjust.” -Francis de Sales (1567 - 1622): “Introduction to the Devout Life” (1609)

“He who can suppress a moment’s anger may prevent a day of sorrow.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894)

Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure, often resulting from a perceived injustice or unfairness. While anger is often momentary, rage is usually thought of as being a period of sustained anger.

“Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887)

“Anger helps straighten out a problem like a fan helps straighten out a pile of papers.” -Susan Mancotte

“No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.” -George Jean Nathan (1882 - 1958)

“Anger begins with folly, and ends with repentance.” -Pythagoras (about 570 B.C.E. - about 495 B.C.E.): as quoted in “The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction” (6 January 1844), volume V, number 1

“Before you give someone a piece of your mind, make sure you can get by with what is left.” -Author Unknown

“An angry man is again angry with himself when he returns to reason.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.” -Queen Elizabeth I of England, as quoted in Francis Bacon: “Certain Apophthegms of Lord Bacon” (1625), number IV

“When anger rises, think of the consequences.” -Confucius (551 B.C.E. - 479 B.C.E.)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Temper

When I have lost my temper, I have lost my reason, too.
     I’m never proud of anything which angrily I do.
When I have talked in anger and my cheeks were flaming red,
     I have always uttered something which I wish I hadn’t said.

In anger I have never done a kindly deed or wise,
     But many things for which I felt I should apologize.
In looking back across my life, and all I’ve lost or made,
     I can’t recall a single time when fury ever paid.

So I struggle to be patient, for I’ve reached a wiser age;
     I do not want to do a thing or speak a word in rage.
I have learned by sad experience that when my temper flies,
     I never do a worthy thing, a decent deed or wise.

by Author Unknown

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“Anger is never without an argument, but seldom with a good one.” -George Savile (1633 - 1695): “Political, Moral, and Miscellaneous Thoughts and Reflections” (1750), ‘Of Anger’

“When a wise man is angry, he is no longer wise.” -Author Unknown: “The Talmud”

“We are all crazy when we are angry.” -Philemon (about 300 B.C.E.)

“If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?” -Sydney J. Harris (Sydney Justin Harris (1917 - 1986))

“I always tumble into trouble when I lose my temper.” -Jane Louise Curry: “Robin Hood and His Merry Men” (1994)

“Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame.” -Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)

“Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.” -Author Unknown: “Incredible Hulk” television series based on a comic book, episode 1 (10 March 1978), line spoken by character David Banner (portrayed by actor Wilfred Bailey Everett ‘Bill’ Bixby III)

“There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away; the battle they are fighting isn’t with you, it’s with themselves.” -Author Unknown

“Anger is a momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you.” -Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.))

“He who angers you, controls you.” -Author Unknown

“Two things a man should never be angry at; what he can help, and what he cannot help.” -Author Unknown

“You can tell the size of a man by the size of the thing that makes him mad.” -Adlai Stevenson (Adlai E. Stevenson (1900 - 1965))

“The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.” -Author Unknown (variously attributed to Joseph Joubert or Jacqueline Schiff)

“Anger is the only thing to put off till tomorrow.” -Author Unknown: Slovakian proverb

“Do not teach your children never to be angry; teach them how to be angry.” -Lyman Abbott

“A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.” Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Proverbs,’ chapter 15, verse 18

“Angry people are not always wise.” -Jane Austen (1775 - 1817)

“We boil at different degrees.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Marian Evans Cross, also known as Mary Ann Evans (1819 - 1880))

“Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.” -Chuck Norris (Carlos Ray ‘Chuck’ Norris (born 1940))

“Anger is not only inevitable, it is necessary. Its absence means indifference, the most disastrous of all human failings.” -Arthur Ponsonby

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“Explain your anger instead of expressing it, and you will find solutions instead of arguments.” -Author Unknown

“Anger manages everything badly.” -Statius

“Never respond to an angry person with a fiery comeback, even if he deserves it . . . don’t allow his anger to become your anger.” -Author Unknown

“Temper, if ungoverned, governs the whole man.” -Anthony Shaftesbury

“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180))

“You can never get rid of a bad temper by losing it.” -Author Unknown

“Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” -Aristotle (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.)

“The prudent man does not let his temper boil over lest he get into hot water.” -Author Unknown

“Anger is one letter away from danger.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor ‘Eleanor’ Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“Never do anything when you are in a temper, for you will do everything wrong.” -Baltasar Gracián (1601 - 1658)

“Nobody ‘makes’ you angry. You ‘decide’ to use anger as a response.” -Author Unknown

“Anger seems to be all the rage now with some people.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down, and go about business as usual.” -Phyllis Diller (1917 - 2012)

We are MFOL! . . . promoting better living through humor and inspiration and learning . . .

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Appearances and Looks

5/28/2019

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“Some of the most beautiful women I have ever met tell me, ‘I hate myself when I look in the mirror.’ I hear that again and again” -Henry Miller (1891 - 1980)

“A beautiful thing is never perfect.” -Author Unknown

“To all the girls who think they’re fat because they’re not a size zero, you’re the beautiful ones; it’s society who’s ugly.” -Marilyn Monroe (Norma Jean Mortenson (1926 - 1962))

“Beauty is a mystery. You can neither eat it nor make flannel out of it.” -David Herbert Lawrence (1885 - 1930)

“I used to be very self-conscious. I used to wish I was pretty. My cousin Georgia always taught me that if you smile, people will like you. Sometimes people will say something you don’t like, and you get angry a bit, but you just smile. You let it go by, even if you really would like to choke ‘em. By smiling, I think I’ve made more friends than if I was the other way.” -Ella Fitzgerald (1918 - 1996)

“Won’t you come into my garden? I would like my roses to see you.” -Richard B. Sheridan (Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751 - 1816))

Keep up appearances; there lies the test;
     The world will give thee credit for the rest.
-Charles Churchill (1731 - 1764): “Night” (1761), lines 311 and 312

“A plain face is often surprisingly beautiful by reason of an inner light.” -Henry E. Walbery

“Real beauty isn’t about symmetry or weight or makeup; it’s about looking life right in the face and seeing all its magnificence reflected in your own.” -Valerie Monroe

“Some of you may feel that you are not as attractive and beautiful and glamorous as you would like to be. Rise above any such feelings, cultivate the light you have within you, and it will shine through as a radiant expression that will be seen by others.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Do not judge others by appearances; a rich heart may be under a poor coat.” -Author Unknown: Scottish proverb

“Beauty isn’t about having a pretty face. It’s about having a pretty mind, pretty heart, and a pretty soul.” -Author Unknown

Beauty to no complexion is confined,
     Is of all colors, and by none defined.
-George Granville (1666 - 1735)

“First impressions are the most lasting.” -Jonas Hanway (1712 - 1786): “A Journal of Eight Days Journey” (1756)

“Beauty isn’t something on the outside. It’s your insides that count! You gotta eat green stuff to make sure you’re pretty on the inside.” -Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka, and Toshihiro Kawabata: “Animal Crossing: Wild World” (2005)

Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a body image condition that causes some people to imagine they presently have, or will later develop, physical deformities. Most people with the condition are not all that different from other people in appearance; it is just that their perception of themselves is erroneously distorted by inner or outer influences. BDD is also known by the term ‘dysmorphophobia,’ which is derived from the Greek words ‘dys’ meaning ‘abnormal,’ ‘morphe’ meaning ‘form,’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’ The good news is that the condition can be treated through therapeutic psychological counseling and by other methods.

“There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): “Essays” (1625), ‘Of Beauty’

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
     but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
     the passion that she knows.
-Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

“The beauty does not live out there; the beauty’s in my eyes.” -Jonathan Lockwood Huie (born 1945)

He: My, what lovely eyes you have!
She: I am glad you like them. They were a birthday present.

“Do not judge men by mere appearances; for the light laughter that bubbles on the lip often mantles over the depths of sadness, and the serious look may be the sober veil that covers a divine peace and joy. The bosom can ache beneath diamond brooches; and many a blithe heart dances under coarse wool.” -E. H. Chapin (Edwin Hubbell Chapin (1814 - 1880))

She is not fair to outward view
     As many maidens be;
Her loveliness I never knew
     Until she smiled on me:
Oh! then I saw her eye was bright,
     A well of love, a spring of light.
-Hartley Coleridge (David Hartley ‘Hartley’ Coleridge (1796 - 1849)): “Poems” (1851), ‘She Is Not Fair’

“I am not beautiful like you. I am beautiful like me.” -Author Unknown

“Appearances often deceive.” -Author Unknown: English saying

“It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910)): “The Kreutzer Sonata” (1889)

“The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.” -Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972)

“Physical differences are what make it possible for our friends to find us in a crowd.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Beauty is the promise of happiness.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

“Remember, the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless: peacocks and lilies, for instance.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900): “The Stones of Venice” (1851)

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” -Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990)

What do you think makes a person good-looking?

Who is that pretty lady?

Her very frowns are fairer far
     Than smiles of other maidens are.
-Hartley Coleridge (David Hartley ‘Hartley’ Coleridge (1796 - 1849)): “Poems” (1851), ‘She Is Not Fair’

“You know who’s beautiful? Read this first word.” -Author Unknown

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The Ugly Duckling Syndrome

“The Ugly Duckling” is a story about someone who was not really ugly at all; he was just different. The other ducks teased and pecked at him with their beaks until the ugly duckling flew away. He wandered around for a year, and was treated as an outcast everywhere. In the Spring, he saw a group of swans on a lake, and wanted very much to join them. As he swam out toward them, he was astounded to notice his reflection in the water - he was a swan! The other swans welcomed him warmly, and found him to be beautiful.

Like many fairy tales, “The Ugly Duckling” was created with a lesson, or moral, in mind, if we will listen or read with the idea of finding it.

Most of us go through times when we feel different from those around us. These can be painful and lonely times, but it does not mean there is anything wrong with us. Like the ugly duckling, we will come into a time and place when we will be loved. All the pain and loneliness we have felt will one day be a fading memory.

“I never dreamed of so much happiness when I was the ugly duckling.” -Hans Christian Andersen (1805 - 1875): “The Ugly Duckling” (11 November 1843)

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“I used to look in the mirror and feel shame; I look in the mirror now and I absolutely love myself.” -Drew Barrymore (born 1975)

“Trust not too much to an enchanting face.” -Vergil (Publius Vergilius Maro, also known as Virgil (70 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.))

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” -Margaret Wolfe Hungerford (1855 - 1897): “Molly Bawn” (1878)

“The beauty seen is partly in him who sees it.” -Christian Bovee (Christian Nestell Bovee (1820 - 1904))

“Common-looking people are the best in the world. That is the reason the Lord made so many of them.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“To keep your good looks, you should smile often, because every 2,000 frowns on your face create one wrinkle.” -Author Unknown

“Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.” -Hedy Lamarr (Hedwig Eva Maria Kiesler (1914 - 2000))

“I cannot tell you how many times people have come up to me to compliment me on my lavish figure.” -Miss Piggy, as quoted in Henry Beard: “Miss Piggy’s Guide to Life” (1981)

“No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“It is the common wonder of all men, how among so many millions of faces there should be none alike.” -Thomas Browne (1605 - 1682): “Religio Medici” (1643), Part II, Section 2

“Always try to look your best, because you never get a second chance to make a first impression, and first impressions are lasting impressions.” -Author Unknown

“Beauty starts in your head, not in your mirror.” -Joubert Botha

“A woman deserves no credit for her beauty at twenty, but at sixty, her beauty is of her own doing.” -Author Unknown

O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us
     To see oursels as ithers see us!
-Robert Burns (1759 - 1796): “To a Louse” (1786)

In standard contemporary English, the above lines would be as follows:

And would some Power the small gift give us
     To see ourselves as others see us!

“There are no ugly women, there are women who do not know how to look pretty.” -Jean de La Bruyère (1645 - 1696)

“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.” -Sophia Loren

“Beware so long as you live, of judging people by appearances.” -Jean de La Fontaine (1621 - 1695)

Never judge someone
     By the way he looks
Or a book by the way it’s covered;
     For inside those tattered pages,
There’s a lot to be discovered
-Stephen Cosgrove (born 1945)

“If being beautiful in the eyes of the Creator means being ugly in the eyes of the created, then it’s worth it.” -Author Unknown

“You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older.” -Anouk Aimée (born 1932 as Nicole Françoise Florence Dreyfus)

“The appearances of things change according to the emotions and thus we see magic and beauty in them, while the magic and beauty are really in ourselves.” -Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)

“Outer beauty pleases the eye. Inner beauty captivates the heart.” -Mandy Hale (born 1978): “The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass” (2013)

Appearances and Looks Quiz
- What is the meaning of the word ‘beauty’?
- What is the meaning of the phrase ‘inner beauty’?
- Why might you not want to answer your door dressed and groomed sloppily?

“I’m beautiful in my own way because God makes no mistakes.” -Author Unknown

Appearances and Looks Quiz Answers
- Beauty is the quality of being pleasing to the mind.
- Inner beauties are virtues such as goodness, politeness, and caring.
- Always answer the door dressed and groomed well, because you never know when you might be greeting the Queen or the President.

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” -Confucius (K’ung Fu-tzu or K’ung Ch’iu (about 551 B.C.E. - about 479 B.C.E.))

“I am, as I am; whether hideous, or handsome, depends upon who is made judge.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)

“Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them.” -David Hume (1711 - 1776)

People who are ‘animated’ are more attractive.

“It’s not the face, but the expressions on it. It’s not the voice, but what you say. It’s not how you look in that body, but the thing you do with it. You are beautiful.” -Stephenie Meyer (born 1973): “The Host” (6 May 2008)

“That’s the thing about inner beauty: Unlike physical beauty, which grabs the spotlight for itself, inner beauty shines on everyone, catching them, holding them in its embrace, making them more beautiful too.” -Author Unknown

“Anyone is automatically a lot more attractive when they’re funny.” -Author Unknown

The folks at the Make Fun Of Life! Website hope you will laugh a little more, learn a little more, and love life a little more . . . each and every day . . . we just want you to be happy.

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Television

5/26/2019

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There was a show on television the other day that was so old . . . the cowboys were riding dinosaurs.

“After 20 years of searching, you are forced to admit that there just isn’t anything good on TV.” -Author Unknown: “The Onion,” ‘Horoscope’

Question: Which television show had characters that lived at 1313 Mockingbird Lane in Mockingbird Heights?
Answer: “The Munsters”

“The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you’re doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.” -Jerry Seinfeld

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was good.

“Television is the single greatest threat to communications and connections within a family. You may as well be fifty miles away from the person sitting next to you if you’re both watching television.” -Author Unknown

The first television commercial for a toy was in 1946 for Mr. Potato Head.

“There are days when any electrical appliance in the house, including the vacuum cleaner, seems to offer more entertainment possibilities than the TV set.” -Harriet Van Horne

‘Laugh tracks’ are also known as ‘canned laughter.’ Many of the laugh tracks now used in television programs, especially sitcoms and talk shows, were recorded in the 1950’s.

“Television: An electrical device which, when broken, stimulates conversation.” -Author Unknown

In 1965, BBC TV featured an interview with a professor who had just invented a device called “smellovision.” This miraculous technology allowed viewers to experience directly in their own home aromas produced in the television studio. The professor offered a demonstration by cutting some onions and brewing coffee. A number of viewers called in to confirm that they distinctly experienced these scents as if they were there in the studio with him. Since no aromas were actually being transmitted, whatever these viewers thought they smelled coming out of their TV sets must be chalked up to the power of suggestion.

What kinds of things on television and in movies make you laugh?

Young Lady from Trent

There was a young lady from Trent
Whose TV antenna got bent -
The neighbors went crazy;
Their screens all got hazy,
For instead of receiving, she sent!

by John Etheridge

“Television has changed the American child from an irresistible force to an immovable object.” -Laurence J. Peter (Laurence Johnston Peter (1919 - 1990))

“You open it with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension. A dimension of sound. A dimension of sight. A dimension of mind. You are moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.” -Rod Serling: one of the intros to the “Twilight Zone” show

“Television is about watching a life instead of having one.” -Beth Mazur

“The Brady Bunch is a live action modern fairytale of family. In this context it’s less odd that it’s lasted for over thirty years; and why it may last in some respects as long as Mother Goose!” -Christopher Knight

“If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.” -Lily Tomlin (born 1939)

The first episode of “Leave it to Beaver” aired on 4 October 1957.

“Late night television is very educational. It teaches you that you should have gone to bed earlier.” -James Dent

“The story you have just heard is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.” -Author Unknown: “Dragnet” (1949 - 1957)

“Television contracts the imagination and radio expands it.” -Terry Wogan (born 1938): as quoted in the “Observer” (December 1984) of London

The television network executives were constantly infuriated by Jay Ward, creator of “The Adventures of Bullwinkle and Rocky” (“The Bullwinkle Show”). He continually pulled off-the-wall stunts on his show. In one episode, he had Bullwinkle tell audience members to pull the knobs off their televisions so that, “We’ll be sure to be with you next week.” 20,000 kids obliged the request. The following week, Bullwinkle told those kids to glue the knobs back on.

“There is an educational channel. It’s called ‘off.’” -Lily Henderson, at 11 years of age

“There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.” -Rod Serling: one of the intros to the “Twilight Zone” show

“I don’t know what’s wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman.” -Bruce Baum

“I wish there was a knob on the television to turn up the intelligence. There’s a knob called brightness, but it doesn’t work.” -Eugene P. Gallagher

Hey, who stole our “TV Guide”?!

“Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want.” -Clive Barnes

Question: Who was the first dog in history to adopt a little boy and to build a time machine?
Answer: Mr. Peabody, in “The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.”

“TV - a clever contraction derived from the words ‘Terrible Vaudeville’ . . . we call it a medium because nothing’s well done.” -Goodman Ace: letter to Groucho Marx

[Television] “. . . won’t be able to hold on to any market it captures after the first six months. People will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night.” -Darryl F. Zanuck (1946)

What is your favorite television show?

“My husband wanted one of those new big-screen TV’s for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.” -Wendy Liebman

Question: What was the television doing at the beach?
Answer: Channel surfing.

“Television is a form of theater - even news ‘shows’ are simply actors who sit in front of cameras and read from edited scripts displayed on teleprompters or other devices. Reality shows are just as far from reality as people can get without being permanently institutionalized.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Question: How many channels are on a VHF TV dial?
Answer: 12 (there is no #1).

“The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely.” -T. S. Eliot (Thomas Stearns Eliot (1888 - 1965))

“Television has proven that people will look at anything rather than each other.” -Ann Landers

An estimated one in every four Americans has appeared on television, though most are not shown in close-up facial images. You might be walking down the street, standing in a line, sitting down at a sports or other entertainment event, eating lunch at a sidewalk cafe, or spending a leisurely day at a park. You won’t necessarily know that a camera is trained on you or scanning the area you are in, and in most cases, they don’t need your permission legally to do so. Most likely the video of you will be put into storage as ‘stock footage’ at a television studio, to be used at a later time to illustrate a news story. For example, a news program might do a segment on obesity. Someone will be sent to search through the stock footage until something is found that shows a sidewalk full of people walking. They will then edit the video in order to emphasize the obviously overweight people, and show it while a news commentator reads aloud some statistics or health information. This is just another good reason to always try to be at your best when you are out in public.

Fred: Hey, look, Helen, you’re on TV.
Helen: Fred, that’s ridiculous. I’m standing right over here - how could I possibly be on TV?

“Television is chewing gum for the eyes.” -Frank Lloyd Wright (born Frank Lincoln Wright (1867 - 1959))

Shows that may be appearing on TV soon, as a result of the electronic and computer age:
- Modem, She Wrote: Each week, our intrepid detective tries to solve the ultimate mystery: Why her modem won’t ever connect at 56k.
- Micro-CHiPs: Ponch and Jon now patrol the Information Superhighway.
- Hawaii 6.0: An upgraded version of the classic series. Steve McGarrett goes surfing for bad guys online.
- T. J. Hacker: A retired cop, with an uncanny resemblance to James T. Kirk, takes up computer hacking to track down the miscreants who canceled his TV show.
- The Excel Files: Inexplicable things are happening to the data in Microsoft Excel spreadsheets. Can this puzzle be solved? The truth is out there.
- Magnum, PC: This series about a crime-solving personal computer that goes by the code name Deep Blue is based in beautiful Hawaii. Season finale cliff-hanger: Will Deep Blue be led into a life of crime by the wily charms of the Texas Instruments Speak ‘n’ Spell?
- The Incredible Bulk: The exciting adventures of Windows, which just keeps growing and growing.

“Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn’t have in your home.” -David Frost

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: get a job or watch daytime television.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Brady Bunch

Boys:
Here’s the story of a lovely lady
     Who was bringing up three very lovely girls.
All of them had hair of gold like their mother,
     The youngest one in curls.

Girls:
It’s the story of a man named Brady
     Who was busy with three boys of his own.
There were four men living all together,
     Yet they were all alone.

All:
Till the one day when the lady met this fellow,
     And they knew that it was much more than a hunch
That this group must somehow form a family.
     That’s the way we all became the Brady Bunch.
The Brady Bunch, the Brady Bunch.
     That’s the way we became the Brady Bunch.

Words and Music by Sherwood Schwartz and Frank Devol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Television programming: Material that fills the time between commercials.” -Author Unknown

“There is a lot of hype going on about high-definition television. But is it really worth it to pay more money to see the same junk in sharper detail?” -Thomas Sowell (born 1930)

“I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can’t stop eating peanuts.” -Orson Welles (1915 - 1985)

TV announcer: “Our regularly scheduled program will not be seen tonight - because we’ve discovered that dead air did better in the ratings than the program itself!”

“I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.” -Groucho Marx

“While theoretically and technically television may be feasible, commercially and financially I consider it an impossibility, a development of which we need waste little time or dreaming.” -Lee De Forest (1926)

“Television, a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.” -Ernie Kovacs

“Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.” -Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)

We control your horizontal . . . we control your vertical . . . we are . . . television executives. So you’re who’s responsible! Somebody get them!

My TV’s Under the Weather

My TV came down with a chill.
As soon as I saw it was ill
     I wrapped up its channels
     In warm winter flannels
And gave its antenna a pill.

by Willard R. Espy

The Society for the Eradication of Television (SET) no longer exists, and Couch Potatoes likewise is defunct, so some of us must organize to eradicate the beastly television hobgoblin monster thing before it turns us all into gelatinous masses with non-functioning legs and bloodshot eyes. Who will go forth to slay the dragon? Will it be you? How about you? You, over there, can you do it? Hey, can somebody get us some fresh batteries for the remote?

Quiz Show Questions and Answers
Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon.
An item of clothing worn by the “Three Musketeers?” A horse.
Something you wear on a beach? A deck-chair.
Something that flies that doesn’t have an engine? A bicycle with wings.
A famous bridge? “The Bridge over Troubled Waters.”
Something people might be allergic to? Skiing.
Something you put on walls? A roof.
Something slippery? A con-man.
A food that can be brown or white? A potato.

“I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off.” -Jack Paar (Jack Harold Paar (1918 - 2004)): as quoted in “TV Guide”

In the United States of America, federal law states that children’s television shows may contain only 10 minutes of advertising per hour and on weekends the limit is 10 and one-half minutes.

“The best show on TV can usually be found on the OFF channel.” -Author Unknown

“If television shows continue the way they’re going, the public will soon be demanding longer commercials.” -Author Unknown

So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
     Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
     A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
-Roald Dahl: “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” (1964)

Just remember, kids, watching television is not good for your eyes and it causes your brain to shrink . . . so instead hang out on MFOL! . . . or even better, go outside and play . . .

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Kisses and Kissing

5/24/2019

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[A kiss is] “A peculiar proposition. Of no use to one, yet absolute bliss to two. The small boy gets it for nothing, the young man has to lie for it, and the old man has to buy it. The baby’s right, the lover’s privilege, and the hypocrite’s mask. To a young girl, faith; to a married woman, hope; and to an old maid, charity.” -Linus Price ‘Skipper’ Hayes (1906 - 1962): “V. P. I. Skipper” (about 1930)

Kock, knock.
Who’s there?
Keith.
Keith, who?
Keith me, thweetheart!

“A little kiss can make a big difference.” -Author Unknown

Kisses

There’s a kiss to say I love you,
     There’s a kiss to say I care.
There’s a kiss to prove our friendship,
     There’s a kiss for us to share.
There’s a kiss to say it’s always,
     There’s a kiss to say it’s true.
But the kiss I loved most,
     Was the kiss I got from you.

by Author Unknown

Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl said, “I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?” “Only one kiss per yard,” replied the smirking male clerk. “That’s fine,” replied the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.” With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. “Grandpa will pay the bill,” she smiled.

“A passionate kiss burns the calories in one potato chip.” -Francis Sheridan Goulart (1989)

A one-minute kiss burns twenty-six calories.

“People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.” -Victor Hugo

“Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can’t see anything wrong with each other.” -Rene Yasenek

“To me, there is no greater act of courage than to be the one who kisses first.” -Janeane Garafolo

“Kisses are a better fate than wisdom.” -e. e. cummings

“Teach not thy lip such scorn, for it was made for kissing, lady, not for such contempt.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

Bad Dream

There was an old man of Peru,
Who dreamed he was kissing his shoe.
     He woke in the night
     In a terrible fright,
And found that it was perfectly true!

by Author Unknown

“Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.” -Joey Adams

“You would think that, if our lips were made of horn, and stuck out a foot or two from our faces, kisses at any rate would be done for. Not so. No creatures kiss each other so much as birds.” -Thomas Buxton (Thomas Fowell Buxton (1786 - 1845))

“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.” -Ingrid Bergman

“The sound of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes

“You have to kiss a lot of toads to find your handsome prince.” -Author Unknown

Philemaphobia, also called philematophobia, is a persistent fear of kissing. Kissing is how you get germs - it’s horribly disgusting - and so gross!

Jenny Kissed Me

Jenny kiss’d me when we met,
     Jumping from the chair she sat in;
Time, you thief, who loves to get
     Sweets into your list, put that in!
Say I’m weary, say I’m sad,
     Say that health and wealth have missed me,
Say I’m growing old, but add
     Jenny kiss’d me.

by Leigh Hunt (James Henry ‘Leigh’ Hunt (1784 - 1859)): as published in the “Monthly Chronicle” (November 1838)

“’Twas not my lips you kissed but my soul.” -Judy Garland

“Your kiss is on my list of the best things in life.” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . putting a little bubbly optimism in your day . . .

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Love

5/22/2019

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Aren’t you two just the cutest little lovebirds?

Melissa: Do you love me with all your heart?
Fred: Uh-huh.
Melissa: Do you think I am the most beautiful woman in the world?
Fred: Uh-huh.
Melissa: Am I the only one for you?
Fred: Uh-huh.
Melissa: Oh, you say the most wonderful things!

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” -Doctor Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 - 1991))

“Where there is great love, there are always miracles.” -Willa Sibert Cather (born Wilella Sibert Cather (1873 - 1947))

“Love is metaphysical gravity.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (1895 - 1983)

“No one is perfect until you fall in love with them.” -Author Unknown

If I was a flower growing wild and free,
All I’d want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
-Barry Louis Polisar: “All I Want Is You”
-Rainbow Morning Music, publisher

“I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.” -Roy Croft (1907 - 1973)

“Love is a verb.” -Clare Boothe Luce (1903 - 1987)

“What we love, we shall grow to resemble.” -Bernard of Clairvaux (C.E. 1090 - C.E. 1153)

“The heart that loves is always young.” -Author Unknown

“Love at first sight is a great time saver.” -Author Unknown

“In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.” -Mignon McLaughlin (1913 - 1983)

“Love is the reward of love.” -Johann Friedrich von Schiller (Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller (1759 - 1805))

“Love is space and time measured by the heart.” -Marcel Proust (1871 - 1922)

“Sometimes I wish I was a little child again - because bruised knees heal faster than broken hearts.” -Author Unknown

“Love is never without some thorns.” -Author Unknown

Perfect Love

They walked in the lane together,
     The sky was covered with stars;
They reached the gate in silence,
     He lifted down the bars.
She neither smiled nor thanked him,
     Because she knew not how;
For he was a farmer’s son,
     And she, a Jersey cow.

by Author Unknown

“To be loved, be lovable.” -Author Unknown

“I love you more than yesterday, less than tomorrow.” -Edmond Rostand (1868 - 1918)

“Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.” -Jerome K. Jerome (Jerome Klapka Jerome (1859 - 1927)): “Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow” (1886)

“Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that the person will love you back. Do not expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their hearts but if it does not, be content it grew in yours.” -Author Unknown

Book of Love

If I could read you like a book,
     And if I chanced to steal a look,
I wonder if I’d find that you
     Were just as faithful, and as true
In chapter four, page sixty-seven
     As you were on page eleven?

by Author Unknown

“To love and be loved, is to feel the Sun from both sides.” -David Viscott (1938 - 1996)

“You don’t have to be perfect to be worth loving.” -Harold S. Kushner (Harold Samuel Kushner (born 1935))

“We find rest in those we love, and we provide a resting place in ourselves for those who love us.” -Bernard of Clairvaux (C.E. 1090 - C.E. 1153)

“It’s love that makes the world go ’round.” -W. S. Gilbert (William Schwenck Gilbert (1836 - 1911))

“Love is all we have, the only way that each can help the other.” -Euripides (480 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

The Opposite of Two

What is the opposite of two?
     A lonely me, a lonely you.

by Richard Wilbur (Richard Purdy Wilbur (born 1921)): “Opposites” (1973)

“All love shifts and changes. I don’t know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time.” -Julie Andrews

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” -Erich Segal

“Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.” -Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1821 - 1881)

“Just because someone does not love you the way you want him or her to, does not mean they do not love you with everything they have got.” -Author Unknown

People have made a silly game of holding a daisy and plucking off its petals while saying, “He loves me, he loves me not.” or “She loves me, she loves me not.” Supposedly, the last petal has the answer - but how would a flower know?

“Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.” -Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“We loved with a love that was more than love.” -Edgar Allan Poe (1809 - 1849)

“He was happy and unhappy all at once. He was in love.” -Petra Mathers: “Victor and Christabel” (1993)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806 - 1861): “Sonnets from the Portuguese” (1850)

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive, who?
Olive you!

“The course of true love never did run smooth.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” (1595), Act I, scene 1, line 140 (words spoken by fictional character Lysander)

“Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” -Paul of Tarsus: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘First Corinthians,’ chapter 13, verses 4 through 8

“Hearts are wild creatures. That’s why our ribs are cages.” -Author Unknown

Jared: How do you mend a broken heart?
Annie: With ticker tape.

“The great acts of love are done by those who are habitually performing small acts of kindness.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

Together

Because we do
     All things together
All things improve,
     Even weather.

Our daily meat
     And bread taste better,
Trees are greener,
     Rain is wetter.

by Paul Engle (1908 - 1991)

“To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.” -Bess Myerson (1924 - 2014)

“Do you love me, warts and all?” -Author Unknown

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” -Robert A. Heinlein (Robert Anson Heinlein (1907 - 1988)): “Stranger in a Strange Land”

“To love someone means to see him as God intended him.” -Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1821 - 1881)

“Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Venus and Adonis” (1593), line 821; type of work: narrative poem

“I wish I could turn back the clock. I’d find you sooner and love you longer.” -Author Unknown

“Draw a circle, not a heart, around the one you love, because a heart can break, but a circle goes on forever.” -Danny Kaye (born David Daniel Kaminsky (1911 - 1987))

Love wasn’t put in your heart to stay -
Love isn’t love till you give it away.
-Author Unknown

“When we first fall in love, we feel that we know all there is to know about life, and perhaps we are right.” -Author Unknown

“What power has love but forgiveness?” -William Carlos Williams (1883 - 1963)

Do you love me?
     Or do you not?
You told me once,
     But I forgot.
-Elena Helms

“I’m bananas for you - let’s never split!” -Author Unknown

“Love creates an ‘us’ without destroying the ‘me’.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

“If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater.” -Author Unknown

“Love you to the Moon and back.” -Author Unknown

“Nobody has ever measured, even poets, how much a heart can hold.” -Zelda Fitzgerald

“If you wish women to love you, be original; I know a man who used to wear fur hats summer and winter, and women fell in love with him.” -Anton Chekhov (Anton Pavlovich Chekhov (1860 - 1904))

I Love You!

I love you, I love you,
     I love you, I do.
But don’t get excited -
     I love monkeys, too!

by Author Unknown

“At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.” -Plato (about 427 B.C.E. - 347 B.C.E.): “The Symposium”

“I think . . . if it is true that there are as many minds as there are heads, then there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910))

“When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.” -Elizabeth Bowen (Elizabeth Dorothea Cole Bowen (1899 - 1973))

“Perfect love casts out fear.” -Uell Stanley Andersen (1917 - 1986)

“I love you more than all the stars in the sky.” -Author Unknown

“Who ever lov’d, that lov’d not at first sight?” -Christopher Marlowe (1564 - 1593)

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” -Author Unknown

“All of me loves all of you.” -Author Unknown

“Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary.” -Teresa of Calcutta (also known as Mother Teresa; born Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997))

Overheard: I’ve been looking for you ever since I heard my first fairy tale . . .

“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life; that word is love.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” -Jason Jordan

“What a grand thing, to be loved! What a grander thing still, to love!” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“Love is by far the most important thing of all.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“To love and be loved is the greatest happiness of existence.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845)

I loved you yesterday,
     I love you still -
I always have,
     I always will.
-Author Unknown

“To acquire love, fill yourself up with it until you become a magnet.” -Charles Haanel (1866 - 1949)

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . where LMLML! (Levity Makes Life More Livable!)

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Cats and Dogs

5/18/2019

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If you are having difficulty deciding whether to get a cat or a dog, we may be able to help . . .

One trait cats and dogs have in common is that they will both look up to you . . . but they look at you differently.

“If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because you lap is warmer.” -Alfred North Whitehead

“Your cat will never threaten your popularity by barking at three in the morning. He won’t attack the mailman or eat the drapes, although he may climb the drapes to see how the room looks from the ceiling.” -Helen Powers

“In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.” -Dereke Bruce

When cats chase their prey, they keep their heads level. Dogs and humans bob their heads up and down when chasing prey.

In contrast to dogs, cats have not undergone major changes during the attempted domestication process.

“You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.” -George Mikes: “How to Be Decadent” (1 January 1977)

Spot: What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat?
Fluffy: An animal that chases itself.

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Who Needs a Man?
- If you want someone who can scare away burglars without using a lethal weapon, get a dog.
- If you want someone who eats whatever you put in front of him and never says his mother made it better, get a dog.
- If you want someone who is always eager to go out anytime you ask and anywhere you want to go, get a dog.
- If you want someone who never criticizes anything you do, does not care how good or bad you look, acts as though every word you say is worth hearing, never complains, and loves you unconditionally all the time, get a dog!
- If you want someone who never touches the remote, could care less about Monday Night Football, and watches dramatic movies with you as long as you want, get a dog.
- If you want someone who will be content just to snuggle up and keep you warm in bed, and who you can kick out of bed if he slobbers and snores, get a dog.
- If you want someone who will bring you the newspaper without tearing through it first for the sports page, get a dog.
- If you want someone who will do anything to please you, get a dog.
- If you want someone who will make a total fool of himself because he is so glad to see you, get a dog.

On the other hand . . .
- If you want someone who never comes when you call him, totally ignores you when you walk in the room, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, prowls around all night and come home only to eat and sleep all day, and acts as though you are there only to see that he is happy . . . get a cat.

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Dogs have lived with humans for over 14,000 years. Cats have lived with humans for only 7,000 years.

A dog thinks: Wow, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . They are amazing! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . I am amazing!

“Cat people are different, to the extent that they generally are not conformist. How could they be, with a cat running their lives?” -Louis J. Camuti

Every cat thinks he’s the cat’s meow, until he hears the dog’s bark, at which time he high-tails himself out of there.

Fuzzy: Why do you need a license for a dog and not for a cat?
Bowzer: Because cats cannot drive.

Cat brains are biologically more similar to human brains than they are to dog brains. Both humans and cats have identical regions in their brains that are responsible for emotions.

A dog is a dog, but a cat is a purrrrson.

Dogs have masters, cats have support staff.

When you have a cat, you can never be quite sure which one of you is the pet, or as someone once said, cats make great pets - out of their owners.

“Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this because of all the time they spend on personal grooming. Dogs aren’t like this. A dog’s idea of personal grooming is to roll on a dead fish.” -James Gorman

Cats can make more than 100 different vocal sounds. Dogs make only about 10. Conclusion: Cats talk too much - unless you have one of those dogs that barks all day and all night, of course . . . arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf . . .

Cats make ‘purrrfectly’ marvelous pets, but dogs make ‘doggone’ good pets.

“Dogs come when they’re called. Cats take a message and get back to you.” -Mary Bly

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Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary and a Cat’s Diary

The Dog’s Diary:
Day number 180
8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite!
10:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Yard! My Favorite!
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
5:00 PM - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
5:30 PM - Oh Boy! Mom! My Favorite!
Day number 181
8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite!
10:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Yard! My Favorite!
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
5:00 PM - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
5:30 PM - Oh Boy! Mom! My Favorite!
Day number 182
8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite!
10:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Yard! My Favorite!
1:30 pm - Ooooooo. Bath. Bummer.
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
5:00 PM - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
5:30 PM - Oh Boy! Mom! My Favorite!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary
Day 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Day 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again scratched their favorite chair . . . I must try this on their favorite lampshade.
Day 765 - Pounced on a mouse and brought it to them, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was . . . Hmmm, this is not working according to plan.
Day 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called shampoo. What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
Day 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
Day 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be tattle-tales. The dog is routinely released and seems more than a little happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his present placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time before I get to him.

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Perhaps dogs chase cars because of their herding instinct: A dog sees your vehicle pulling away from the rest of the vehicles parked alongside the curbs and in the driveways. The dogs thinks, “One of them is straying from the rest of the flock, I must get it back with the others! Woof, woof!”

Would you rather be a dog and chase cars that you will never catch, or be a cat and climb trees and get stuck in them?

Furball: How can you get a cat to do tricks?
Fido: Put the dog in a cat suit.

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Dog and Cat Owners Have Different Personalities

Dog owners and cat owners are as different as night and day, says an expert - who reveals the distinctive personality traits of each. People are like their pets, said Dr. Vinsey, Professor of Anthropology at Pace University in New York City, who made a six-year study of pets and their owners.

Dr. Vinsey characterizes dog owners this way:
- They tend to be more outgoing and sociable and they are more apt to be openly affectionate.
- Dog owners are more generous and helpful. They are more ambitious and assertive and more apt to take risks to reach their goals.
- Dog owners are more ‘outdoorsy’ - they love to tramp the hills, go camping, and participate in active, energetic sports.

Cat owners are a different type says Dr. Vinsey:
- They tend to be well-read, articulate and cultured and more imaginative, creative and curious than dog owners.
- They are more apt to be loners. They enjoy privacy and tend to be aloof until they know someone well.
- Cat lovers are comfort lovers and tend to pamper themselves. They’re more finicky and choosy, have exotic tastes and are nonconformists. They also tend to be more opinionated and independent.
- Cat owners are indoor people. Their greatest joy is to curl up in front of a fire with a good book or a television miniseries to view.

But both cat and dog owners are far more flexible than people who don’t own pets, said the doctor. They take a less rigid approach to life and adjust more easily to changes in plans or circumstances, she said.

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“Cat’s Motto: No matter what you’ve done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.” -Author Unknown

Dogs are mentioned 44 times in “The Bible”: 35 times in the ‘Old Testament’ and 9 times in the ‘New Testament.’ Curiously, cats are not mentioned anywhere in “The Bible.” We say ‘curiously’ because we are curious about why this is so.

Cat hearing is better than dog hearing. Cats can hear sounds up to two octaves higher than humans can hear - but they will never tell you this, preferring to keep this ability exclusively for their own benefit.

Proof that cats are smarter than dogs: You will never find a dozen cats pulling a sled through the snow. They know the best place to be in the winter is curled up in front of the fireplace.

“As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.” -Ellen Perry Berkeley

While cats have only about 473 taste buds and do not have a ‘sweet tooth,’ dogs have about 1,700 taste buds, and appear to like sweets much more than cats do. Humans have approximately 9,000 taste buds.

“A dog, I have always said, is prose; a cat is a poem.” -Jean Burden

Good news: You do not have to choose between having a pet cat or having a pet dog - just get six of each, and then you’ll have an even dozen . . . your neighbors will not know if they should call you a crazy cat person, a crazy dog person, or a zookeeper!

All information appearing on the Make Fun Of Life! Website is fictitious . . . Any resemblance to actual facts is probably coincidental . . .

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Fortune Cookies

5/15/2019

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Some people dream of great fortunes . . . others dream of great fortune cookies.

Remember to fulfill the promises you made to yourself.

You will prosper in the field of wacky inventions.

Japanese Fortune Cookies, also known as tsujiura senbei, or fortune crackers, are larger than American Fortune Cookies, and are made of a batter containing sesame and miso rather than vanilla and butter as their American counterparts are. The strip of paper bearing the fortune for Japanese Fortune Cookies is placed in an outside fold or crease of the cookie instead of being hidden inside.

You will be rewarded for your patience and understanding.

Allow your mind to absorb new knowledge.

Next time, try the orange fried noodles with beef and broccoli.

Fortune cookies were first invented in Japan, then modified slightly upon their arrival in America, and are now a common desert item in American-style Chinese restaurants. So, in other words, the fortune cookie is an immigrant to the United States of America that has adapted itself well to its new homeland and become famous and successful in ‘the land of opportunity.’

An attractive, smart, and loving person will be coming into your life.

Believe in yourself and you will succeed.

You find great energy and you will be able to get many things done.

An American Fortune Cookie is a thin crisp cookie usually made of flour, sugar, butter, vanilla, and sesame seed oil, shaped into a container that holds a ‘fortune’ inside.

Good news will soon come to you.

Perhaps the fortune you seek is in another cookie?

You are magnetic in your bearing.

The ‘fortune’ inside a fortune cookie is a strip of paper with a proverb, prediction, humorous statement, advice, scripture, or other information printed on it. Some fortune cookie messages include lucky numbers for use in picking lottery numbers or in other games of chance (gambling).

You make delicious soups.

Your next meeting will be more productive.

He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.

American Fortune Cookies are now served in Chinese restaurants all around the world, except in China, where the cookies are regarded as a cultural intrusion.

Ask a friend to join you on your next adventure.

A cheerful message is on its way to you.

You will get it all done.

Stop searching afar; happiness is just next to you.

Work methodically on one problem at a time.

What if you could have fortune cookies printed with a message you choose for your event, business, cause, or anything else? You can, and you can even have the fortune cookies in colors and flavors. Did you know that you can serve fortune cookies as a snack with tea or coffee, not just as a dessert item after full meals? Visit Fancy Fortune Cookies at https://www.fancyfortunecookies.com/Custom-Fortune-Cookies-s/50.htm.

Patient work produces fine goods.

A golden egg of opportunity falls into your lap this month.

A novice at the first attempt, adept at the second.

About time I got out of that cookie.

Beauty surrounds you because you create it.

A signature reveals a person’s character . . . and sometimes even their name.

Courtesy is contagious.

If you eat a box of fortune cookies, anything is possible.

A new wardrobe brings great joy and change to your life.

A leader is powerful to the degree he empowers others.

Good things are coming your way, especially if you stay here and order dessert.

A light heart carries you through hard times.

Never kiss an elephant on the lips.

A new perspective will come with the new year.

Boomerangs are coming back.

A person is never too old to learn . . . or too young.

Your eloquence has a persuasive impact.

I cannot talk right now. Even fortune cookies need to sleep sometime!

Determination is what you now need.

Some years ago, a man opened a fortune cookie outside a restaurant and found nothing inside it. Thinking it a bad omen, he went back in and came out with a new one. It said, “You are the chosen one.” He was thrilled and said this fortune is the only one he will ever need, and so to this very day, he has never opened another fortune cookie.

Your work will be recognized and suitably rewarded.

Good things are being said about you.

Feed moderately on wholesome food; garden herbs surpass rich dishes.

All your hopes, dreams, and fears are the beginning of the future.

Your home is the center of great love.

If you can read this, you do not need glasses.

New ideas could be profitable.

Someday everything will all make perfect sense.

Discover the power within yourself.

Good things take time.

Someone you care about seeks reconciliation.

Good to begin well, better to end well.

The best year-round temperature is a warm heart and a cool head.

Only eat fresh fish, fresh vegetables, and ripened rice.

Do something new each day.

There is dew for every blade of grass.

Pass no day idly, youth does not return.

There are customers for all sorts of goods.

Your mind is your greatest asset.

You are about to become $12.95 poorer ($9.95 if you had the buffet).

The first step to better times is to imagine them.

You may be hungry later, so order takeout now.

You cannot open a book without learning something.

The truly generous share, even with the undeserving.

Decide what you want and go for it.

Your biggest virtue is your modesty.

You must play the game to win.

You are a practical person with your feet on the ground.

You will soon witness a miracle.

You are heading in the right direction.

You are stunningly attractive.

When you see an opportunity, act.

Allow compassion to guide your decisions.

All of the efforts you are making will ultimately pay off.

Emulate what you admire in others.

You do not need the answers to all of life’s questions.

Living with a commitment to excellence will take you far.

Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?

You will soon be crossing the great waters.

You will think for yourself when you stop letting others think for you.

You will travel far and wide, both for pleasure and business.

Your first love has never forgotten you.

You will be successful in your work.

You are a person of another time.

It is a great year for those who are cheerful and optimistic.

You will make changes for the better.

Great distances are covered one step at a time.

Relatives are coming to visit.

Beware of cookies bearing fortunes.

Dedicate yourself with a calm mind to the task at hand.

I am very fortunate to be a cookie. My friend was a ham sandwich, and he did not fare so well.

Tell them before it is too late.

A dream you have will come true.

You have charm and a winning personality.

You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.

It is the beautiful bird that is caged.

You have the power to write your own fortune.

The best is yet to come. . . dessert!

Best to keep your plans secret for now.

There is mutual love between people of a creed, mutual jealousy between people of a trade.

Generosity can repay itself sooner than you might imagine.

You are one smart cookie!

The seeds of an idea you planted long ago finally blossom.

Who is without flaw?

There are pictures in poems, and poems in pictures.

To make a worthwhile person of yourself, you must toil; if you do not, you will not.

Expect great things and great things will come.

At MFOL! we say, “Don’t just have fun with life . . . be the fun!” Coming up next: Even more fun!

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Anatomy and Physiology

5/13/2019

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Curious Young Gal

There was a young gal who said, “Why
Can’t I look in my ear with my eye?
     If I put my mind to it,
     I’m sure I can do it;
You never can tell till you try.”

by Author Unknown

Humans are bioluminescent, meaning we glow in the dark, but the light we emit is 1,000 times weaker than our human eyes are able to detect.

Gladys: What kind of advice do you get from hands?
Douglas: Finger tips.

There are ten human body parts that are only three letters long: eye, hip, arm, leg, ear, toe, jaw, rib, lip, and gum.

Hair is made of the same substance as fingernails, but you cannot make that fun screeching sound that drives everyone bonkers by running your hair over a chalkboard; only your fingernails can do that.

The average person has 10,000 taste buds. Not all taste buds are on the tongue; about ten percent are on the insides of the cheeks. So, what does your tongue taste like?

Sit down and lift your right foot off the floor, and make clockwise circles. While doing this, draw the number 6 in the air with your right hand. Your foot will automatically change direction, and there is nothing you can do to stop it from doing so. Someone - and by someone we mean you - just kidding! - should investigate this phenomena to find out if it is in any way related to the rise in incidents of people hitting their accelerator pedals when they mean to hit their brake pedals, while driving a vehicle.

Nellie: What did one toe say to the other?
Stella: “Don’t look now, but I think we’re being followed by a heel.”

The normal human body temperature is about 37 degrees Celsius (about 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit). However, it is not uncommon for the temperature of some persons to be just slightly higher than this by as much as a degree due to their increased metabolism - particularly teenagers and young adults. As always, if you are concerned, seek a doctor’s opinion.

Becca: What has one foot on each end and a foot in the middle?
Becky: A yardstick.

The average human body contains enough iron to make a 3-inch nail, sulfur to kill all fleas on an average dog, carbon to make 900 pencils, potassium to fire a toy cannon, fat to make 7 bars of soap, phosphorous to make 2,200 match heads, and water to fill a ten-gallon tank.

Nonsense Poem

I’d rather have fingers than toes,
I’d rather have eyes than a nose;
     And as for my hair
     I’m glad it’s all there,
I’ll be awfully sad when it goes.

by Gelett Burgess (Frank Gelett ‘Gelett’ Burgess (1866 - 1951))

Fingerprints serve another useful function besides helping law enforcement officers catch criminals: the tiny ridges provide traction for the fingers to grasp objects. Fingers are among the many ‘tools’ integrated into our bodies, making humans the ultimate Swiss Army knife of the animal kingdom.

Shin: A specialized anatomical feature of the human body designed for finding furniture in the dark.

In addition to the better-known senses of hearing, sight, touch, smell, and taste, humans have at least fifteen other senses. These include balance, temperature, pain, and time, as well as internal senses for suffocation, thirst, and fullness. Some humans have also been found to have a sense of humor.

Did you know that it is physically impossible for you to lick your own elbows? Go ahead and try it - just do not injure yourself!

Chin

There was a young lady whose chin
Resembled the point of a pin;
     So she had it made sharp,
     And purchased a harp,
And played several tunes with her chin.

by Edward Lear (1812 - 1888)

The human face has 43 muscles that create 10,000 expressions. It would take a lifetime for a person to try them all out.

“If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn’t.” -Lyall Watson (1939 - 2008)

Humans use a total of 72 different muscles in speech. Be sure to give those muscles a real workout today, huh?

Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different. Now stick out your tongue and say, “Aaaaaaaaahhh!”

About eight percent of people have an extra rib, which is not really all that interesting . . . unless you happen to be a cannibal.

The Operation Game features an Adam’s apple, broken heart, wrenched ankle, butterflies in the stomach, spareribs, water on the knee, funny bone, writer’s cramp, Charley horse, anklebone connected to the knee bone, wishbone, breadbasket, and brain freeze. Players in the Operation Game attempt to remove each of these ailments from the patient, who is named Cavity Sam. The regular-size game can be purchased from www.Hasbro.com.

Your Nose Is Running

“Your nose is running,” Mother said.
     I answered, “Wow! That’s really neat!”
“Why’s that?” she asked. I said, “Because
     I never knew my nose had feet.”

by Jeff Moss (Jeffrey Arnold ‘Jeff’ Moss (1942 - 1998)): “The Other Side of the Door: Poems” (1991)

Our bodies burn a large amount of calories just to keep us at a steady 37 degrees Celsius (98.6 degrees Fahrenheit). The human body gives off enough heat in thirty minutes to bring two liters (a little more than two quarts, or half a gallon) of water to a boil. If you could capture and use the heat, you could cook a pasta dinner with it. First, though, you will need some kind of mad scientist laboratory . . .

“Not everyone can wiggle their ears, you know. It’s something you’re born with.” -Kevin Henkes (born 1960): “Sun and Spoon” (1997), website: https://kevinhenkes.com/

Why can humans move their eyes in opposite directions toward their noses, but not in opposite directions away from the noses?

“The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.” -Thomas Edison (Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931))

Riddle: What can you hold in your right hand that you cannot hold in your left hand?
Solution: Your left elbow.

Ahead: The thing on top of your neck.

Kerry: What should you do if your ear rings?
Karen: Answer it.

Lizzie: How do you keep your ear from ringing continuously?
Beth: Get an unlisted head.

Humans are said to have fifty percent of their DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Acid) in common with bananas. Perhaps we should get to better know the elongated yellow fruit with which we have so much in common?

The nose is that part of the body that shines, snubs, snoops, and sneezes.

If the human brain were a computer, it would perform 38 thousand-trillion operations per second. The world’s most powerful supercomputer, Blue Gene, can manage only 0.002 percent of that amount.

Sharon: How do you keep your feet from falling asleep?
Sherry: Wear loud socks.

A typical adult human is made up of more than 37,200,000,000,000 (37.2 trillion) living cells made up of 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (7 octillion) atoms. For perspective, there are a mere 100,000,000,000 (100 billion) stars in our Milky Way Galaxy. Every year, about 98 percent of the atoms in human bodies are replaced by new ones. Now you finally know what is meant by the phrase ‘a whole new you.’

Riddle: What has fingers and thumbs but no hands?
Solution: A glove.

The human body has more than 600 muscles, which make up 40 percent of the body’s weight. Our muscles are actually much more powerful than they usually seem to be. Human strength is limited to prevent our tendons and muscles from tearing themselves apart; however, this limitation can be overcome in an adrenaline rush, during which there are recorded instances of people lifting heavy boulders and even automobiles off people and animals that have been trapped under them.

Joseph: Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Joe: Because it is the ‘scenter.’

At any given time, your brain can generate up to 25 watts of power - enough energy to make a light bulb come on. You are indeed more powerful than you might have known.

Veronica: What has a head but no brain?
Vera: A cabbage.

Human blood has roughly the same concentration of salt that seawater has.

A condition called ‘synesthesia’ can cause the senses to overlap, so that affected people may taste words or hear colors.

Riddle: What can clap without using hands?
Solution: Thunder.

People with hexadectylism have six fingers or six toes on one or both hands and feet. This might give them an advantage over the rest of us when it comes to typing and texting, and perhaps other activities involving manual dexterity as well.

A sharp nose indicates curiosity, and a flat nose indicates . . . too much curiosity!

Lionel: What has four legs and one arm?
Lynette: A happy guard dog!

The human liver has more than 500 functions. Getting you to the airport to catch your next flight and washing the dog are not among them.

The bump at the front of the throat is called the Adam’s Apple, which is said to be from the forbidden fruit getting stuck in Adam’s throat as he ate it in the Garden of Eden.

If someone’s nose runs and his or her feet smell, is that person built upside-down?

Riddle: What has a head and mouth, but no eyes, nose, or ears?
Solution: A river.

The human brain is 70 percent cholesterol . . . and the experts are telling you to cut back on cholesterol - do you see a potential problem with their advice? That’s right, they seem to want you to have a smaller brain!

A Boastful Young Person

“I can pick up a cent with my toes,”
Said a boastful young person named Mose,
     But sharp-witted Millie
     Replied, “That’s just silly -
I can do the same thing with my nose.”

by Author Unknown

The human body is divided into three parts: the Brainium, the Borax, and the Abominable Cavity. The Brainium contains the Brain. The Borax contains the Lungs, the Heart, the Liver, and the Living Things. The Abominable Cavity contains the Bowels, of which there are five: A, E, I, O, and U.

If your DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Acid) were stretched out, it could reach to the Earth’s Moon 6,000 times - but would you really want to visit the Moon that often?

Fingertip to fingertip, the width of your armspan stretched out equals the length of your whole body from head to foot, which means you come pretty close to meeting the definition of a ‘square.’

Jenny: What has two legs, two arms, and two heads?
Jennifer: A two-headed monster.

The elements oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, and nitrogen make up 90 percent of the human body. The remaining 10 percent is made up of hamsters running on hamster wheels that make the body able to do things like stand up and walk around.

Overheard: I would like to thank my Arms, for always being by my side. My Legs, for always supporting me, and my Fingers, because I can always count on them.

The next time your anatomy teacher says, “Are there any questions?” raise your hand and ask, “Can a person laugh on the inside and on the outside at the same time?” More MFOL! just ahead . . .

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Choices and Decisions

5/11/2019

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Now, let us consider the pro’s and con’s of making pro’s and con’s lists . . .

“You are the possessor of a great and wonderful power. This power, when properly applied, will bring confidence instead of timidity, calmness instead of confusion, poise instead of restlessness, and peace of mind in place of heartache. What is your greatest power? The power to choose.” -J. Martin Kohe (Jack Martin Kohe (1902 - 1960)): “Your Greatest Power” (1953)

One way to weigh your difficult decisions is to make a decision chart, in which you list the good points under ‘Pros’ (In Favor) and bad points under ‘Cons’ (Against).

When faced with a decision, decide.
When faced with a choice, choose.
Sitting on the fence will leave you too tense,
Because you neither win not lose!
-Barry Spilchuk

“We are our choices.” -Jean-Paul Sartre (Jean-Paul Charles Aymard Sartre (1905 - 1980))

“You can never successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.” -Author Unknown

“We are living in a time when the best of things are on the Earth . . . and the worst of things. Are we taking advantage of the best of things . . . and staying away from the worst of things?” -Author Unknown

“There are always two choices, two paths to take. One is easy . . . and its only reward is that it’s easy.” -Author Unknown

“Daily decisions determine destiny.” -Author Unknown

“Our lives are, in reality, the sum total of our seemingly unimportant decisions and of our capacity to live by those decisions.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“You are only one decision away from a totally different life.” -Author Unknown

“We are a product of the choices we make, not the circumstances that we face.” -Roger Crawford

“Doing isn’t difficult. Deciding is.” -Foster Hibbard

“There is but bad choice, where the whole stock is bad.” -Author Unknown

“The most important choice we make is what we choose to make important.” -Michael Neill

“Life is the sum of all your choices.” -Albert Camus (1913 - 1960)

“In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing to do. The worst thing you can do is nothing.” -Theodore Roosevelt (Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919))

“We make our choices, then our choices make us. Choose carefully.” -Author Unknown

“Between two evils, choose neither; between two goods, choose both.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 68

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” -Denis Waitley (born 1933)

“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)): “The Innocents Abroad” (1869)

“Your life becomes the thing you have decided it shall be.” -Raymond Charles Barker

Does it scare you when someone says to you, “It’s your decision.”?

“Don’t base your decisions on the advice of people who don’t have to deal with the result.” -Author Unknown

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” -Stephen Covey (Stephen Richards Covey (1932 - 2012))

A wise person once said, “When you come to a fork in the road . . . hey, take it, because further ahead, there might be a slice of blueberry pie.”

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” -J. K. Rowling (Joanne ‘Jo’ Rowling (born 1965)): “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” (1998); line spoken by fictional character Professor Dumbledore

“Almost any decision is better than no decision at all.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to require the most from you.” -Caroline Myss

“When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that in itself is a choice.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“Sometimes walking away is the best decision.” -Kimberley Blaine

Overheard: It is terrible to be indecisive. I feel like a centipede that has just been told to put its best foot forward.

“It is better to make a wrong decision than build up a habit of indecision. If you’re wallowing in indecision, you certainty can’t act - and action is the basis of success.” -Marie Beynon Ray (1886 - 1969)

“Choices are the hinges of destiny.” -Pythagoras (about 570 B.C.E. - about 495 B.C.E.)

“Dwelling on past bad decisions you’ve made only allows those decisions to keep defining you. Forgive yourself and move on.” -Mandy Hale

Matthew: Yippee, I get to make a decision! Yahoo! I finally get to decide something!
Martha: Yes . . . so would you like liver and onions or cauliflower and tripe for dinner?

“The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides.” -Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821 - 1881)

“It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires great strength to decide what to do.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision.” -William James (1842 - 1910): “The Principles of Psychology” (1890)

Decidophobia is a fear of making decisions. Perhaps one approach to overcoming the fear would be to start out with making small or minor decisions. Decide which decisions are small.

“It is choice and not chance which determines our destiny.” -Author Unknown

“We cannot lead a choiceless life. Every day, every moment, every second, there is a choice.” -Ernest Holmes (Ernest Shurtleff Holmes (1887 - 1960))

Overheard: I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not even sure about that.

“Can you not see that to decide to do nothing is the most wretched of all decisions?” -Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885)

“Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want a different result, make a different choice.” -Author Unknown

“When faced with two equally tough choices, most people choose the third choice: to not choose.” -Jarod Kintz (born 1982): “This Book Title is Invisible”

“It is not so much the major events as the small day-to-day decisions that map the course of our living.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Your life is a result of the choices you make . . . If you do not like your life, it is time to start making better choices.” -Author Unknown

“Make your judgement trustworthy by trusting it. You can develop good judgement as you do the muscles of your body - by judicious, daily exercise. To be known as a man of sound judgement will be much in your favor.” -Grantland Rice (Henry Grantland ‘Grantland’ Rice (1880 - 1954))

“It’s not hard to make decisions once you know what your values are.” -Roy E. Disney (Roy Edward Disney (1930 - 2009))

“My basic principle is that you don’t make decisions because they are easy; you don’t make them because they are cheap; you don’t make them because they’re popular; you make them because they’re right.” -Theodore Hesburgh (Theodore Martin Hesburgh (born 1917))

“Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.” -Author Unknown

“Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.” -Robert F. Bennett

“Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left? Five, because there’s a difference between deciding and doing.” -Mark L. Feldman & Michael F. Spratt: “Five Frogs on a Log” (1999)

“You’ve got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you’re not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice.” -Steven D. Woodhull (born 1976)

“Scan. Select. Move on.” -Author Unknown

“Nothing is so exhausting as indecision, and nothing is so futile.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970)): “The Conquest of Happiness” (1930)

“Decisiveness is a characteristic of high-performing men and women.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Indecisiveness is the key to flexibility.” -Author Unknown

“Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.” -Rita Mae Brown (born 1944)

“Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

“Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.” -Keri Russell

“There’s an alternative. There’s always a third way, and it’s not a combination of the other two ways - it’s a different way.” -David Carradine

“You make what seems a simple choice: choose a spouse or a job or a neighborhood - and what you have chosen is not a spouse or a job or a neighborhood but a life.” -Jessamyn West

“Weigh well what you can only once decide.” -Author Unknown

“Make choices today you can live with tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.” -Elizabeth Kübler-Ross (1926 - 2004)

“We almost always have choices, and the better the choice, the more we will be in control of our lives.” -William Glasser (1925 - 2013)

“Some decisions in life are difficult, like when you are asked if you would trade a car-load of bananas for a truck-load of monkeys.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Remember this, the choices you make in life, make you.” -John Wooden (1910 - 2010)

This is MFOL! . . . perhaps the easiest decision you will make today . . . or maybe just the best . . . you get to decide . . .

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Smiles and Smiling

5/9/2019

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It is very important to remember to smile as often as possible, because as we all know, there is not enough smiling going on in the world today . . .

“Smiling is a great way to look your best.” -Author Unknown

“I add a smile to everything I wear and that has worked great for me.” -David White (1916 - 1990)

“If you smile at someone, they might smile back.” -Author Unknown

Smile

I gave away my smile
     to the girl across the street.
She gave it to her brother
     as they sat down to eat.
Her brother gave it to their Mom,
     she wore it for a day.
Then gave it to another girl
     whose name was Paula Kay.
Paula took her smile outside
     and stood next to a tree.
She put her hands upon her hips
     then gave it back to me.

by Author Unknown

“A smile can brighten someone’s day without using a penny’s worth of electricity.” -Author Unknown

“Smiling is the best way to face every problem, to crush every fear, to hide every pain.” -Author Unknown

Worry less,
     Smile more,
Don’t regret,
     Just learn and grow!
-Author Unknown

“Always smile back at little children . . . to ignore them is to destroy their belief that the world is good.” -Pam Brown (Pamela Jane Barclay Brown (born 1948))

“If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.” -Author Unknown

“‘SMILE’ is an acronym for, ‘See Miracles In Life Everyday.’” -Author Unknown

“I have never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.” -Author Unknown

“You’ll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile.” -Charlie Chaplin (Charles Spencer ‘Charlie’ Chaplin (1889 - 1977))

“It was only a sunny smile and little it cost in the giving but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)): “The Great Gatsby” (10 April 1925)

“Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Marian Evans Cross, also known as Mary Ann Evans (1819 - 1880))

“A smile is something you can’t give away; it always comes back to you.” -Author Unknown

“Sometimes it’s hard to force a smile, but sometimes we have to; it’s what gets us through the hard times.” -Author Unknown

“A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.” -Charles Gordy (1871 -1944)

“You want to know who’s got the most amazing and beautiful smile ever - read the first word of the sentence again!” -Author Unknown

“Smile . . . there are more than seven billion people in the world - don’t let just one ruin your day.” -Author Unknown

“Is a smile a question? Or is it the answer?” -Lee Smith

“If you want people to like you, smile!” -Author Unknown

“Nothing is more beautiful than a real smile that has struggled through tears.” -Author Unknown

“The world always looks better from behind a smile.” -Author Unknown

“A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.” -William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994)

“Lose your smile and lose your customers.” -Sam Walton (1918 - 1992)

“A smile is the shortest distance between two people.” -Victor Borge (1909 - 2000)

“Let your smile change the world; don’t let the world change your smile.” -Author Unknown

“A smile is worth much more than it costs.” -Author Unknown

“Sometimes just a smile on our face can help to make this world a better place.” -Robert Alan

“Smiles are great investments; the more you collect, the better you feel.” -Author Unknown

“I would walk miles for one of your smiles.” -Author Unknown

“A smile is the best makeup a girl can wear.” -Author Unknown

“Smiling is my favorite exercise.” -Author Unknown

“To receive a smile, give one away!” -Author Unknown

“A smile is a frown turned upside down.” -Author Unknown

“A smile is the lighting system of the face, the cooling system of the head, and the heating system of the heart.” -Unknown

“A smile is a powerful weapon; you can even break ice with it.” -Author Unknown

“It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three muscles to frown.” -Author Unknown

“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.” -Phyllis Diller (pseudonym of Phyllis Ada Driver (1917 - 2012))

“All people smile in the same language.” -Author Unknown

“If you will force yourself to smile, you’ll end up laughing. You will be cheerful because you smile. Repeated experiments have shown that when a person assumes the facial expression of a given mental mood - any given mood - then that mental mood itself will follow.” -Kenneth Goode

“A smile is the universal welcome.” -Max Eastman (1883 - 1969)

“After six years without seeing one, I love just seeing a smile - every smile I see gives me hope.” -Ingrid Betancourt (Ingrid Betancourt Pulecio (born 1961))

“A smile confuses an approaching frown.” -Author Unknown

“I smile because I do not know what in the world is going on.” -Author Unknown

“Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there is so much to smile about.” -Marilyn Monroe (Norma Jean Mortenson (1926 - 1962))

“A smile makes you feel good, and when you feel good, good things happen.” -Terri Lynn

“Smile! It increases your face value.” -Robert Harling (Robert M. Harling III (born 1951)): “Steel Magnolias” (5 November 1989)

“A smile on your face will do wonders for your appearance. It will give you youthfulness and optimism that beauty treatments or counselling sessions never could.” -Author Unknown

“Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you are up to!” -Author Unknown

“A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.” -Denis Waitley (Denis E. Waitley (born 1933))

“Smile. The sunshine of your smile might chase the clouds from someone’s life today. It may be the ray of sunshine that someone needs in an otherwise stormy day.” -Author Unknown

“Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody’s heart.” -Anthony J. D’Angelo

“A smile appeared upon her face as if she’d taken it directly from her handbag and pinned it there.” -Loma Chandler

Smile

It comforts the weary, gladdens the sad
     consoles those in trouble, good or bad.
To rich and poor, beggar or thief,
     it’s free to all of any belief.
A natural gesture of young and old
     cheers on the faint, disarms the bold.
Unlike most blessings for which we pray,
     it’s the only thing we keep when we give it away.

by Author Unknown

“Most smiles are started by another smile.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))

Ten Reasons to Smile

1. It makes you attractive
2. It changes your mood.
3. It is contagious.
4. It relieves stress.
5. It boosts your immune system.
6. It lowers your blood pressure.
7. It releases endorphins.
8. It lifts the face and makes you appear younger.
9. It makes you seem successful.
10. It helps you stay positive.

by Author Unknown

“Learn to smile at every situation. See it as an opportunity to prove your strength and ability.” -Joe Brown

“Smile, for everyone lacks self-confidence and more than any other one thing a smile reassures them.” -André Maurois (pseudonym of Émile Salomon Wilhelm Herzog (1885 - 1967))

“Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.” -Jim Beggs

“A smile can brighten the darkest day.” -Author Unknown

The Smile

I had an extra smile
     When I left the house today
I thought I’d give it to someone
     I passed along the way.
I tried to give the smile away
     But incredibly
Each time I gave it to someone
     They’d give it back to me.
So now I have a bunch of smiles,
     What am I to do?
I think I’ll keep a couple
     And then give the rest to you!

by Author Unknown

“What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life’s pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719)

Smile and forgive;
It’s the only way to live.
-Author Unknown

“People are not perfect - except when they smile.” -Author Unknown

“If you did not start out the day with a smile, it is not too late to start practicing for tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“Just because a person smiles all the time, doesn’t mean their life is perfect. That smile is a symbol of hope and strength.” -Lauryn Hill (Lauryn Noelle Hill (born 1975))

Lost Your Smile?

You haven’t lost your smile,
     It’s been there all the while,
Just waiting for the word,
     That smiling’s back in style!

by Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“If you don’t have a smile, I’ll give you one of mine.” -Author Unknown

“A smile of encouragement at the right moment may act like sunlight on a closed up flower; it may be the turning point for a struggling life.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“Smiling is good for you and it is good for the people around you.” -Author Unknown

“I hope you always find a reason to smile.” -Author Unknown

“A smile gives your face something to do and it is good exercise and makes you look better.” -Author Unknown

“Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.” -Author Unknown

“We do not smile because something good has happened; rather something good happens because we smile.” -Author Unknown

“If you’re not using your smile, you’re like a man with a million dollars in the bank and no checkbook.” -Les Giblin (born 1912)

“Anyone can smile on their best day. I like to meet a man who can smile on his worst.” -Lauren Graham (Lauren Helen Graham (born 1967)): “Someday, Someday, Maybe” (30 April 2013)

“Smile and the world will smile with you . . . Frown and it will leave you alone.” -Pamela Prichard

“Smile, it’s the easiest way to improve your day.” -Author Unknown

“Nobody needs a smile so much as the one who has none to give.” -Lawrence G. Lovasik (1913 - 1986)

“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” -Teresa of Calcutta (Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997))

“Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.” -Author Unknown, as quoted in H. Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940): “P.S. I Love You” (1990)

“Smile - happy looks good on you!” -Author Unknown

“Smile, even when life does not present reasons for doing so, because your smile is a reason for many others to smile.” -Author Unknown

“Make it a regular habit to smile - and watch as miracles begin to happen all around you.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Did you make someone smile today? You’ve still got time.” -Melissa Stewart

You look amazing when you smile . . . you should do it more often. Now back to further humor and inspiration and learning . . . on MFOL!

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Walking and Ambulating

5/8/2019

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Let us proceed after the man in the gray suit . . . he really seems to have a knack for this ‘walking’ thing . . .

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of five times around the Earth’s equator. Be sure to pick up some coconuts and bananas while you are there.

Humans are the ‘walking animals.’ We were made to walk all day, originally as hunter-gatherers. We were not made to sit or lay about all the whole day through. In fact, being sedentary, or inactive, for too long slowly kills us by causing everything from bone mass loss to muscle atrophy. So, to maintain good physical fitness, walk a little or a lot, every single day, just like your long-ago ancestors did.

Walk this Way

There was an old person of Deal,
Who in walking used only his heel;
     When they said, “Tell us why?”
     He made no reply,
That mysterious old person of Deal.

by Author Unknown

“If you walk backwards, you’ll never stub your toe.” -Harvey McKay

The Ministry of Silly Walks is a British Government agency tasked with devising funny ways of walking. It is a fictional creation of the Monty Python comedy troupe, made for a segment in “Monty Python’s Flying Circus,” season 2, episode 14, titled ‘Face the Press,’ which first aired on television in 1970. The creation is commemorated on 7 January of each year in various locales around the world as International Silly Walks Day. If you would like to know more, and perhaps show the world your silly walk, visit the official Monty Python website at http://www.montypython.com/home and click on News.

Riddle: What has one hundred legs but cannot walk?
Solution: Fifty pairs of pants.

Amish men take about 18,425 steps per day. Amish women take about 14,196. The average American adult takes about 4,000 steps per day. Only 4 percent of Amish are obese, compared to 31 percent of the general American population.

“All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)): “Twilight of the Idols” (1888)

‘Walking’ is also known as ‘ambulating.’ The word ‘walk’ is derived from the Old English word ‘wealcan’ meaning ‘to roll’ . . . which brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Let’s roll!”

“Walking isn’t really a lost art. One must by some such means get to the garage or parking place.” -Herbert V. Prochnow (Herbert Victor Prochnow (1897 - 1998))

It would take about 225 million years to walk one lightyear, at the pace of 20 minutes a mile. We had better get started now if we are going to make it before dark.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Otis.
Otis, who?
Otis a wonderful day for a walk in the park!

With the Earth being about 40,234 kilometers (25,000 miles) in circumference and the average walking rate being 4.99 kilometers (3.1 miles) per hour, it would take a person walking nonstop approximately 336 days to walk around the world, assuming that he or she did not sleep and could walk on the surface of the water in rivers and oceans.

“You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over.” -Richard Branson (Richard Charles Nicholas Branson (born 1950))

Ambulophobia is a persistent fear of walking. If you have this phobia and amaxophobia, a persistent fear of riding in a vehicle, you are pretty much not going anywhere ever, which in itself is a frightening thought.

“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” -Fred Allen (John Florence Sullivan (1894 - 1956))

Are walking tours available to you in your community? Walking tours are typically organized with a tour leader and a group of participants, who walk through an area for sightseeing, to sample foods and beverages at local eateries, to visit galleries and museums, to explore parks and gardens, or to learn about landmarks and history. Walking groups can be organized for physical fitness and exercise as well.

“An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862): “Journals” (1838 - 1859), ‘20 April 1840’

Humans became bipedal between three and six million years ago. Scientists believe that humans started walking on two legs to carry objects better and to use energy more efficiently. It also gives them a better view of their surroundings.

Girl of Majorca

There was a young girl of Majorca
Whose aunt was a very fast walker;
     She walked sixty miles
     And leaped fifteen stiles,
Which astonished that girl of Majorca.

by Edward Lear (1812 - 1888): “A Book of Nonsense” (1846), limerick 101
(A stile is a type of gate in a fence or a wall that cattle cannot step over or through, but which people can step over or through.

“If the Good Lord intended for us to walk, he wouldn’t have invented roller-skates.” -Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990)

An Old Person of Wilts

There was an old person of Wilts,
Who constantly walked upon stilts;
     He wreathed them with lilies
     And daffy-down-dillies,
That elegant person of Wilts.

by Author Unknown

“After a day’s walk everything has twice its usual value.” -George Macaulay Trevelyan (1876 - 1962)

“If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk.” -Raymond Inmon

A woman went out for a walk. She came to a river and could not see a bridge anywhere. She spotted another woman on the opposite bank of the river and she shouted to her, “How can I get to the other side?!” The second woman looked up the river and down the river, and then shouted back, “You’re already on the other side!”

The longest walk around the world was completed by a former neon-sign salesman named Jean Béliveau (born 18 August 1955). He walked 46,600 miles around 64 countries. The trip took him 11 years and 2 months, from 18 August 2000 until 16 October 2011.

“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“There is nothing like walking to get the feel of a country. A fine landscape is like a piece of music; it must be taken at the right tempo. Even a bicycle goes too fast.” -Paul Scott Mowrer (1887 - 1971)

“A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world.” -Paul Dudley White (1886 - 1973)

McGee: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
O’Neill: To get away from the sound.

Walking may help decrease the risk of heart attack, decrease the risk of developing type 2 diabetes, and may even reduce the risk of bone fracture. Additionally, brisk walking may reduce stress and depression levels, and possibly improve cancer survival rates.

“In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks.” -John Muir (1838 - 1914)

“Me thinks that the moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

Experts suggest walking 6,000 steps a day to improve health and 10,000 steps a day to lose weight - but who among us counts their steps? Small pedometers that use electromechanical switches can be worn on the hip to count steps, and GPS-enabled devices, including some cell phones, can be equipped with ‘aps’ to measure distance.

“Few people know how to take a walk. The qualifications are endurance, plain clothes, old shoes, an eye for nature, good humor, vast curiosity, good speech, good silence, and nothing too much.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

Experts note that when shopping for walking shoes, you should always buy shoes that feel comfortable right away. There is no “breaking-in period.” Also, feet swell during the day, so it is important to get fitted for walking shoes at the end of the day when feet are their largest.

“Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it.” -Plato (427 B.C.E. - 347 B.C.E.)

Scientists believe that walking was originated underwater by ‘hopping’ air-breathing fish.

“One step at a time is good walking.” -Author Unknown: Chinese proverb

[-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-]

Walking Woes

I’m sick and tired of walking,
     Walking here and there
Walking to and fro,
     Walking everywhere!

Tomorrow I won’t walk at all,
     I’m going to see it through,
I know I’ll have to get to school
     But walking I won’t do!

I’ll stomp downstairs,
     Creep through the door
And amble down the street
     I’ll wander round the corner
And traipse on my two feet!

I’ll plod, strut, limp, and march,
     I’ll stroll and hike and roam.
I’ll saunter, trek, and shuffle,
     As I trudge away from home.

I’ll meander past the school gates,
     And toddle through the door,
I’ll lumber to my classroom,
     And then I’ll walk no more!

by J. Shaw

[-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-]

As with any changes in lifestyle, you may need to consult a physician and other experts before beginning a program of walking or other activities that could impact any existing health condition you might have and your personal safety. That is just something we have to tell people for their own good and so they know that we are not advising any person to undertake activities that could place a person at risk of harm . . . okey-dokey, then.

“If you only walk on sunny days, you’ll never reach your destination.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

Racewalking has been an official Olympic sport for more than 90 years. The course distances vary from 1.6 kilometers (1 mile) to 153 kilometers (95 miles).

“Walking: The action of repeatedly falling forward and then catching oneself each time with the foot and leg before one’s face can strike the ground.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“I can’t bring myself to say, ‘Well, I guess I’ll be toddling along.’ It isn’t that I can’t toddle. It’s just that I can’t guess I’ll toddle.” -Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)

The best way to lose weight by walking is to take a longer, moderately paced walk (40 minutes at 60 to 65 percent maximum heart rate). Shorter, faster walks (20 to 25 minutes at 75 percent to 85 percent maximum heart rate) are best for conditioning the heart and lungs.

“Many a false step is taken by standing still.” -Arnold Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“Thoughts come clearly while one walks.” -Thomas Mann

“It is impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy.” -Teresa of Calcutta (also known as Mother Teresa, born Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997))

You are now free to move away from your computer and go outside for a walk . . . unless you are a passenger in a flying airplane . . .

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New Beginnings and Second Chances

5/7/2019

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“Don’t be afraid to start over. It’s a chance to build something better this time.” -Author Unknown

“It’s never too late for a new beginning in your life.” -Joyce Meyer (born 1943)

“Every day is a new beginning. Treat it that way. Stay away from what might have been, and look at what can be.” -Marsha Petrie Sue

“In spite of anyone or anything, all it take is you - yourself alone - to grant yourself a second chance.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Big journeys begin with small steps.” -Author Unknown

“Forget the long ago. We are here and we are now, and that is all. We are making a new start.” -Doris Lessing (Doris May Lessing (1919 - 2013))

“Every day is a second chance.” -Author Unknown

“Never too old, never too bad, never too late, never too sick to start from scratch once again.” -Bikram Choudhury

“Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it.” -L. M. Montgomery (Lucy Maud Montgomery (1874 - 1942))

Should life include more do-overs and second chances, for good people?

“The best thing you can give someone is a chance.” -Author Unknown

What is a ‘second chance’? Is it a miracle? Is it an example of love? Is it someone taking a risk?

“Dear God of second chances and new beginnings - here I am again!” -Nancy Spielberg

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A New Chance

When doubts and fears are growing,
     It’s hard to keep on going
From day to day not knowing
     Just what the end will be.

Take each day as you find it,
     If things go wrong, don’t mind it,
For each day leaves behind it
     A chance to start anew.

by Gertrude Ellgas (Gertrude M. Ellgas (1896 - 1994))

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“Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“Every good person deserves a chance at a do-over.” -Author Unknown

“We’re given second chances every day of our life. We don’t usually take them, but they’re there for the taking.” -Andre Greely

“Every single moment of a person’s life, both of the understanding and of the will, is a new beginning.” -Emanuel Swedenborg

“I think I have finally figured life out - it is an endeavor, a path, a road, a journey, that starts anew each moment . . . each moment a new beginning, each moment a second chance.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

This is MFOL! . . . it’s magic . . . it really is . . . well, almost . . .

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Road Crossings

5/6/2019

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A chicken crossing the road is ‘poultry in motion.’ But why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it happened this way . . .

Carla: Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?
Marla: She wanted to stretch her legs.

Sonny Boy: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Grandpa: In my day, we did not ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. And that chicken would have had to walk barefoot five miles in the snow just to get to that road, too. They just do not make chickens like that anymore!

Austin: How did the egg cross the road?
Ozzie: It scrambled across.

Patrice: Why did it take so long for the elephant to cross the road?
Tricia: Because the chicken had trouble carrying him.

Louisa: Why did the cat cross the road?
Louie: The chicken had to take a day off to rest after carrying the elephant across.

Wilbur: Did you hear about the two kangaroos that crossed the road?
Orville: They jumped into each other’s pouches and were never seen again.

Phillip: Why did the turkey cross the road?
Ophelia: To show he was not chicken.

Amy: Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Annie: She was trying to catch a boomerang.

Shelia: Why did the ambitious man cross the road?
Shelly: Because he was chasing his dreams.

Gregory: Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
Megan: Because it ran out of juice.

Timmy: Why did the raccoon cross the road?
Tammy: Because she was chasing the chicken.

Curtis: Why did Captain Hook cross the road?
Howard: To get to the secondhand shop.

Boris: Why did the monster help the little old ghoul across the road?
Doris: Because that is what fiends are for.

Alexander: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Aristotle: To fulfill its nature on the other side.

Minerva: What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?
Minnie: Catching the chickens as they crossed the road.

Harpo Marx: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Groucho Marx: Chicken? What is all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost left him, but we needed the eggs!

Barbara: Why did the chicken cross the amusement park?
Candace: To get to the other ride.

Millicent: Why did the polar bear cross the road?
Lucinda: To show the alligator that it could be done.

Mirabelle: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Reuben: To get to the other side.

Rhoda: Why did the penguin cross the road?
Ronda: Because the chicken owed it $5.

Percival: Why did the snake slither across the road?
Perry: To get to the other ssssssside!

Mabelle: Why did the cows cross the road?
Bonnie: Because they are always on the moo-ve.

Artie: Why did the cookie cross the road?
Marty: To dunk itself in a glass of milk.

Justin: Why did the cell cross the microscope?
Dustin: To get to the other slide.

Kimberly: Why did the rooster cross the road?
Kimmy: He wanted something to crow about.

Agyrophobia, also called dromophobia, is a persistent fear of roads or of crossing roads. Even when no motor vehicles are present, some sufferers from this affliction still experience fear. Agyrophobia comes from the Greek words ‘gyrus’ meaning ‘turning’ or ‘whirling’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear,’ while dromophobia is derived from the Greek words ‘dromos’ meaning ‘running’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’ One of the things that could be said about the chicken that crossed the road is that he was not chicken to cross the road - and you should not be either.

Bernard: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Leonard: Just for the fun of it!

Siskel: I don’t know why the chickens crossed the road, but I loved it. Thumbs up!
Ebert: I disagree. The whole thing left the audience wondering; the chickens' crossing the road was never clearly explained and the chickens didn’t emote very well. Thumbs down.

Octavius: Why did the frog hop across the road?
Augustus: To see what the chicken was doing!

First Lab Tech: Why did the function cross the road?
Second Lab Tech: Because it was defined on both sides and continuous.

Tina: Why did the sheep cross the road?
Lena: To get to the baaa-baaa shop for a trim.

Doctor McCoy: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Captain James Tiberius Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Karl: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of ‘crossing’ was encoded into the objects ‘chicken’ and ‘road,’ and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

Paul: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Saul: I don’t know.
Paul: To get to your house!

. . . long awkward pause . . .

Paul: Knock, knock.
Saul: Who’s there?
Paul: It’s the chicken from the last joke!

Beatrice: Why did the pigs cross the road with their laundry?
Tricia: They wanted to do their hogwash.

Kirsten: Why did the rabbit cross the road?
Christina: To get to the hopping mall.

Marv: Why did the shoe cross the road?
Irv: Because it’s on your foot.

Bored? Want to have some fun? Get together with your friends and play ‘The Road Crossing Game.’ Here’s how it works. One of you says, “Why did the __________________ (fill in the blank) cross the road?” The other of you tries to reply with a funny answer. The one who comes up with the best answer has the next turn, and you just keep on going with the game.

Jesse: Why did the duck cross the road?
Bessie: To visit the chicken of course!

Ticket Against Jaywalking Chicken. Ridgecrest, California: A chicken that got a ticket for crossing the road has clawed his way out of it. The $54 (RM205.20) citation for impeding traffic was dismissed after Linc and Helena Moore’s attorney argued that the fowl was domesticated and could not be charged as livestock. State law restricts livestock on highways, but not domestic animals. The chicken was ticketed on 26 March for impeding traffic after it wandered onto a road in Johannesburg, a rural mining town southeast of Ridgecrest. -AP

Jasper: Why did the chicken cross the internet?
Casper: To get to the ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ Website.

Marcella: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
Marc: To get to the same side.

Nick: Why did the seal cross the road?
Vick: To get to the otter side.

Artemus: Why did the snail cross the road?
Gordon: I don’t know, she hasn’t gotten there yet.

In Quitman, Georgia, United States of America, chickens are actually prohibited by law from crossing the road.

Hugh: Why did the horse cross the road?
Bert: He wanted to visit his neigh-bors.

John: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. A historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such a herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.

Chrissy: Who lumbered across the road?
Lizzie: A lumberjack.

Petula: Why did the chicken nearly stop crossing the road?
Clark: It got tired of everyone making so many jokes!

Gladys: How do you avoid that rundown feeling?
Clementine: Always look both ways before crossing the road!

Arlene: What happened when the skunks argued while crossing the road?
Aileen: They raised a stink.

Eunice: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Eustice: Because the other chickens egged her on.

Jane: Why did the turkeys cross the road?
Jillian: Because the light was green.

Silvia: Why did the dog cross the road?
Ingrid: To get to the barking lot.

Larry: Why did the kiwi fruit run across the road?
Lawrence: Because it was being chased by a pineapple.

Can’t get enough of “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Here are a few more: Because . . . the pedestrian sign was flashing “WALK” and the road was clear of moving vehicles; to beat the early bird to the worm; Farmer Brown was across the road calling out, “Here, chick-chick-chick, here, chick-chick-chick,” while tossing corn around onto the ground; go ask your mother; go ask your father; to catch the “L” train; to try the new hot ‘n’ spicy bacon double cheeseburger; to catch the show; she had a bee in her bonnet; to take a closer look at the cow; to feather her nest; to see what was on the other side; because at the time it seemed like a good idea; the sky was falling; to catch a falling star; to buy a copy of the new horror novel “Chicken Soup for the Human Soul”; to try to look important; to make a new friend; she was lost and headed in the wrong direction; to try something new; they told her there was a ham sandwich in it for her; to escape global warming; to escape the coming ice age; she was a good and faithful friend; I’m listening; oh, I love you so much; what was the question again?; can’t I just finish my waffle?; it’s a little complicated; the other chickens said it couldn’t be done; we would have to look at it from the chicken’s perspective; what was the question again?; she’d already been around the block; to see what she could see; for the fun of it; it’s a bit of a mystery, isn’t it?; she knew she’d give the farmer nightmares for years to come; another chicken gave her an odd look; I can’t comment on an ongoing investigation; why don’t we go find out; she was certainly a funny bird, that one; truth be told, nobody really knows . . .

Vanetta: Why did the turtle cross the road?
Manetta: To get to the shell station.

Henry David Thoreau: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ralph Waldo Emerson: The chicken did not merely cross the road . . . it transcended it.

Tips for Safely Crossing Roads
- Stop, look, and listen.
- Wait until the signal shows “WALK” or a human figure lights up.
- Hold hands and stay together.
- Always look both ways before crossing the road.
- Look left, then right, then left again.
- Stay in the crosswalk.
- Cross at intersections and do not cross at other places.
- Be aware that drivers sometimes drive when and where they should not because they are not good drivers.
- Can you think of other tips for safely crossing roads?

George: Why did the comedian cross the road?
Jerry: To get to the punchline!

Margaret: Why did the bad speller cross the road?
Margery: Too get two the other side.

Road Crossings Quiz: Who Am I?
1. I waddle across the road.
2. I bounce across the road.
3. I inch across the road.
4. I dribble across the road.
5. I flow across the road.

Alex: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Lacy: Don’t ask me, ask the chicken!

Lenny: Why did the scientist cross the road?
Squiggy: Centrifugal force.

Road Crossings Quiz Answers: Who Am I?
1. I am a duck and I waddle across the road.
2. I am a rubber ball and I bounce across the road.
3. I am an inchworm and I inch across the road.
4. I am a basketball player and I dribble a basketball across the road.
5. I am water and I flow across the road.

Winnie: How did the apple cross the road?
Fred: It fruited across.

Stop, Look, and Listen

I stop, I look, I listen,
Before I cross the street.
I use my eyes,
I use my ears,
And then I use my feet.

by Author Unknown

Emily: Why did the spider cross the road?
Amelia: To get to its other web site.

Buzz Aldrin: Have you heard that a chicken has finally crossed the road?
Neil Armstrong: That is one small step for a chicken . . . one giant leap for all poultry-kind.

Someone should make a full-length movie about a chicken crossing the road - how about you? We have much more humor for you on a huge variety of topics on the Make Fun Of Life! Website - just scroll down the page.

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Loners and Singles

5/6/2019

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“The four food groups for singles are: fast, frozen, junk, and spoiled.” -Author Unknown

“We are a select group, without personal obligation, social encumbrance, or any socks that match.” -P. J. O’Rourke (Patrick Jake O’Rourke (born 1947)): “The Bachelor Home Companion” (1987)

“Maybe ‘loner’ is too strong a word, but I’ve always enjoyed being on my own.” -George Best (1946 - 2005)

Overheard: I am not single - I’m between relationships . . . I am not single - I am romantically challenged. There was a time when people called single men bachelors and single women spinsters or old maids. Nowadays, you may call an unmarried adult ‘unattached’ - but you may not call them ‘incomplete’ because apparently, they really do not appreciate that!

“Single: A partial-person.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“The trouble with living alone is that it’s always your turn to do the dishes.” -Author Unknown

“A bachelor, in my opinion, is only half alive.” -Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756 - 1791)

“Hermits United. We meet up every ten years and swap stories about caves. It’s good fun . . . for a hermit.” -Author Unknown: “Doctor Who”

Loner: A party of one; a person who knows what ‘alone in a crowd’ means.

“You are what you eat. For example, if you eat garlic you’re apt to be a hermit.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980))

“People assume I’m a loner by choice. They think I’m antisocial, when the truth is I’m terrified of people because I’m kind and sensitive and people tend to walk all over me.” -Author Unknown

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Lone Dog

I’m a lean dog, a keen dog, a wild dog, and lone;
     I’m a rough dog, a tough dog, hunting on my own;
I’m a bad dog, a mad dog, teasing silly sheep;
     I love to sit and bay the Moon, to keep fat souls from sleep.

I’ll never be a lap dog, licking dirty feet,
     A sleek dog, a meek dog, cringing for my meat,
Not for me the fireside, the well-filled plate,
     But shut door, and sharp stone, and cuff and kick, and hate.

Not for me the other dogs, running by my side,
     Some have run a short while, but none of them would bide.
O mine is still the lone trail, the hard trail, the best,
     Wide wind, and wild stars, and hunger of the quest!

by Irene Rutherford McLeod (1891 - 1968)

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“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe unto him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Ecclesiastes,’ chapter 4, verses 9 - 10

“Bachelor: A laddy* in waiting.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)
(Pun on the phrase ‘a lady in waiting,’ that being a woman who attends to a queen or a princess, not dissimilar to a man’s valet.)
* laddy: a lad, a boy, or a young man.

An old guy who had spent his whole life as a recluse in the desert went to visit a friend. He had never seen a train in his life, but on his way, he happened upon a railroad track. Standing alongside the track, wondering what it was, he heard a loud whistle. Looking around, he saw a train bearing down on him like something out of the Apocalypse. The train just nudged him a glancing blow, but it still flipped him into a ravine, where his head smacked up against a rock and knocked him unconscious. A while later he got up, tenderly felt the bump on his head, shrugged off the dust, and then continued on to his friend’s house, the whole time wondering what that big thing was that had nearly killed him. His friend greeted him, put on a kettle for tea, and they started swapping old stories. A few minutes later, the teakettle started whistling like crazy on the stove and the hermit jumped up in a panic, grabbed a chair, and pounded the whistling teakettle flatter than a pancake. Amazed, his friend asked, “What in the world did you do that for?” The hermit said, “Those things are dangerous. You have to get rid them when they’re small!”

Bumper sticker: Honk If You’re Happily Single!

“A hermit is a deserter from the army of humanity.” -Henry Southgate (1818 - 1888)

A single guy went into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while visiting his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he said, “I’ll just have the Eggs Benedict.” His order came a while later and it was served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asked the waiter, “What’s with the hubcap?” The waiter sang out, “There’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!”

“Let me tell you this: If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” -Jodi Picoult (Jodi Lynn Picoult (born 1966)): “My Sister’s Keeper” (6 April 2004) novel

When people live alone, they more easily succumb to the temptation to just ‘let themselves go,’ meaning that they partially or entirely stop engaging in the grooming, dressing, housekeeping, and other habits associated with being someone who is living successfully in a society with other humans.

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The Loner

He never hurried,
     Nor made a fuss.
Just bided his time,
     Would never rush.

He lived his life,
     So fugerly.
Saved for rainy days,
     He’d never see.

There was no one,
     To share his life.
No children of his own,
     No love of a wife.

He had no friends,
     Neither enemies.
His self alone,
     Was his only company.

On his tombstone,
     When his life was spent,
Four simple words:
     He came and went.

by John Read (21 August 2012)

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“Now for a little humor for people who are single this holiday season: ‘I don’t live alone . . . I live with my imagination . . . and we have a lot of fun together . . .’” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.” -Will Cuppy (William Jacob ‘Will’ Cuppy (1884 - 1949))

Men’s Excuses for Staying Single:
- I do not have to explain why I’m wearing ‘that’ shirt with ‘those’ pants.
- I have saved $372,416.21 that would have been spent on groceries.
- I get to see what my paycheck looks like.
- I get to see what my credit cards look like.
- Bachelors do not have a mother-in-law.
- I do not have to watch sub-titled foreign films.
- I do not have a driving instructor grading me every time I go somewhere.

“Those who understand the true nature of humanity are always loners.” -Dean Cavanagh (born 1966)

Question: Why did the single person cross the road?
Answer: To get away from the married couple that was having an argument.

“It’s just like magic. When you live by yourself, all of your annoying habits are gone.” -Merrill Markoe (born 1948)

“If a hermit lives in a state of ecstasy, his lack of comfort becomes the height of comfort. He must relinquish it.” -Jean Cocteau (1889 - 1963)

Anuptaphobia is a persistent fear of not getting married, or of staying single. ‘Anuptaphobia’ is derived from the Latin word ‘nuptialis’ meaning ‘wedding’ and the Greek word ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’

“I’m a loner as a person, but then I always was, even as a child.” -Bill Bixby (Wilfred Bailey Everett ‘Bill’ Bixby III (1934 - 1993))

Overheard: 1 Universe, 8 planets, 192 countries, 180,497 islands, 85 seas, 7 billion people - and I am still single!

“Please don’t make me sound like a crazy hermit, but I don’t like crowds or noise.” -Steve Burns (Steven Michael Burns (born 1973))

“The reason that a lot of men are bachelors is because they fail to embrace their opportunities.” -Author Unknown

“I was a loner and never hung out with anyone. I never had any friends.” -Richard Pryor (1940 - 2005)

“Singles are people who have convinced themselves that mono, black-and-white, 32-gigabytes is good enough for them, while married people live in high-fidelity stereo, full-color, 128-gigabytes.” -Author Unknown

“Hermits have no peer pressure.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“Sometimes it’s better to be alone because nobody can hurt you.” -Author Unknown

The third week in September is National Singles Week in the United States of America.

Question: What holiday do single people celebrate every day?
Answer: Independence Day!

“The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.” -Pearl S. Buck (Pearl Sydenstricker Buck (1892 - 1973))

Isn’t it interesting that we refer to some people as ‘singles,’ which is a plural noun, and how exactly is it that ‘loners’ also is a plural word?

“I was a loner in high school. I keep to myself, but I love life.” -Clea Duvall (Clea Helen D'Etienne DuVall (born 1977))

When people live alone, they tend to develop certain idiosyncrasies, as for example, adopting dozens of stray animals, or filling an entire room with a collection of empty cardboard boxes. Do not be dismayed, because these are instinctual behaviors, as you try to fill in the ‘gaps’ in your life, which other people typically fill with other people. However, you will need to examine your life if you begin holding parties with your stray animals at which you are the only human in attendance, or you go around the neighborhood at odd hours trying to find more empty cardboard boxes to complete your collection - these behaviors could be ‘cries for help.’ You might want to consider attending the weekly singles group meeting at a church or joining several clubs - just not the clubs where they dress up as vampires and some of the club members seriously believe that they are actual vampires (it should be noted that vampires are creations wholly of human imagination). We hope to see you at this week’s singles group meeting so that we can tell you all about our modest 30,488-piece pinecone collection.

“Deep in my heart I know I am a loner. I have tried to blend in with the world and be sociable, but the more people I meet the more disappointed I am, so I’ve learned to enjoy myself, my family, and a few good friends.” -Steven Aitchison (born 1968), website: https://www.guidedmind.com/

“The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.” -Alan Ashley (Alan Ashley-Pitt, pseudonym of Francis Phillip Wernig (born 1947)): as quoted in Eda LeShan: “The Wonderful Crisis of Middle Age” (1973), page 304

Signs That You May Be Single
- Back in high school you were voted, ‘Most likely to grow old alone, in a big-empty house.’
- Instead of ‘Occupant,’ your junk mail is addressed to ‘Loner.’
- No woman can ever seem to make you feel as alive as you felt at the ‘TrekMania 2014’ convention.
- None of your twenty-three cats ever likes your boyfriend.
- The makers of ‘Frozen Meals for One’ made you their ‘Customer of the Year’ for the seventh consecutive year.
- Who has time for dating when you are building a life-size Spock out of Legos?
- You speak Klingon, which is unfortunately not a very romantic language.
- Online, you suggest the topic, ‘Top Signs You’re Going to Spend the Rest of Your Life Single,’ mistakenly thinking that your equally-hopeless fellow social media contributors might give you some clue as to what you’re doing wrong.
- You will master the art of meeting women as soon as they make a video game about it.
- You are already in line for the next ‘Star Wars’ movie release.

“I don’t hate people, I just feel better when they aren’t around.” -Charles Bukowski (1920 - 1994)

Trevor: If I tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Ian: No, but it does make you a crazy forest hermit!

“But I’ll tell you what hermits realize. If you go off into a far, far forest and get very quiet, you’ll come to understand that you’re connected with everything.” -Alan Watts (1915 - 1973)

Lone wolf: A wolf that is not in a pack of wolves. When hunting alone, a wolf will catch small animals such as mice, squirrels, hares, chipmunks, raccoons, or rabbits. However, a wolf pack, or a group of wolves, can hunt large animals including deer, moose, caribou, and yaks.

“Alone, adjective: In bad company.” -Ambrose Bierce (Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (1842 - 1914))

A Hermit Named Green

There once was a hermit named Green
Who grew so abnormally lean,
     And flat, and compressed,
     That his back touched his chest,
And sideways he couldn’t be seen.

by Author Unknown

“The mind can weave itself warmly in the cocoon of its own thoughts, and dwell a hermit anywhere.” -James Russell Lowell (1819 - 1891)

Hermit: A female hismit.

What would you say to someone who says to you, “I don’t go out because I have no friends, and I have no friends because I don’t go out.”?

This is MFOL! . . . you would think that we would know what we are doing by now . . . but no . . .

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Worries and Worrying

4/30/2019

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“Do not worry too much - you will create a problem that was not even there in the first place!” -Author Unknown

Every life has some trouble
When you worry you make it double.
-Bobby McFerrin (born 1950)

“Never borrow sorrow from tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine.” -Morris West (Morris Langlo West (1916 - 1999))

A Worry

A worry crept into a mind,
Leaving claw marks and gashes behind.
     It turned the mind blue
     As it twisted each screw,
Then it chuckled, and left, with a grind.

by Author Unknown

“Let us be of good cheer, however, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those which never come.” -James Russell Lowell (1819 - 1891): “Democracy” (1887)

“Worry is a form of fear, and all forms of fear produce fatigue. A man who has learned not to feel fear will find the fatigue of daily life enormously diminished.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

If you’re worried and you can’t sleep,
Just count your blessings instead of sheep,
And you’ll fall asleep counting your blessings.
-Irving Berlin (1888 - 1989): “Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep” (1954); type of work: song

“Our worst misfortunes never happen, and most miseries lie in anticipation.” -Honoré de Balzac (1799 - 1850)

“Stop worrying . . . and start making jokes!” -Author Unknown

My Worry

A little bitty worry
     Started early in the day;
By noon it seemed my worry
     Hovered, standing in my way;
The things and thoughts
     I should have had
Got buried in my mind,
     Until my little worry turned
Into the horrid kind.
     By bedtime I was frantic -
What to do, oh what to do!
     And then I couldn’t go to sleep,
For worrying - fretting, too.
     By morning I was almost sick,
When suddenly and soon,
     My worry had been all worked out
Before the toll of noon;
     Then I looked back
And saw my worry
     Just for what it was -
A thing that didn’t happen,
     As a worry seldom does.

by Bonnie Daisy Nelson: as published in “A Garden of Poems” from the Salesian Collection

“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles . . . by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“Let not your heart be troubled.” -John: as quoted in “The Bible” (King James Version, 1611), ‘The Gospel According to John,’ chapter 14, verse 1

“Wringing your hands only stops you from rolling up your sleeves.” -James Rollins

“Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles; it takes away today’s peace.” - Author Unknown

“We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.” -Ethel Barrett (1913 - 1998)

“Who says worry doesn’t help - all those things I worry about don’t happen!” -Author Unknown

“Meditate upon exile, torture, wars, diseases, shipwreck . . . so that you may not be a novice to any misfortune.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want.” -Esther Hicks (born 1948)

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I Worried

I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the rivers
     flow in the right direction, will the Earth turn
     as it was taught, and if not how shall
     I correct it?

Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven,
     can I do better?

Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrows
     can do it well and I am, well
     hopeless.

Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it,
     am I going to get rheumatism,
     lockjaw, dementia?

Finally, I saw that worrying had come to nothing
     and gave it up. And took my old body
     and went out into the morning,
     and sang.

by Mary Oliver (born 1935)

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“Worrying takes up just as much time as work, but work pays better dividends.” -Author Unknown

“My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)): “Essais” (“Essays”) (1595), Book 3, chapter 1

“The most pleasant and useful persons are those who leave some of the problems of the Universe for God to worry about.” -Don Marquis (1878 - 1937)

“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“Happy is the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying once and for all.” -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18))

“The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Some of today’s worries are like puddles: tomorrow they will have evaporated.” -Author Unknown

“Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.” -Author Unknown: Swedish proverb

“A day of worry is more exhausting than a week of work.” -John Lubbock (1834 - 1913): “The Use of Life” (1894)

“It is not work that kills men, it is worry. Work is healthy; you can hardly put more on a man than he can bear. But worry is rust upon the blade. It is not movement that destroys the machinery, but friction.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887)

“What worries you, masters you.” -John Locke (1632 - 1704)

“A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.” -Harold Stephens (born 1926)

“Worry is an abuse of God’s gift of imagination.” -Corrine Lajeunesse

“Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime, and too sleepy to worry at night.” -Leo Aikman (James Leo Aikman (1908 - 1978))

Worry: Mountain climbing over molehills.

“If you’re overwhelmed by thinking of all there is to be done, stop thinking about it so much and start working on it.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t let your worries get the best of you. Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.” -Author Unknown

“The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.” -Robert Frost (Robert Lee Frost (1874 - 1963))

Worry

Worry is a futile thing,
     It’s somewhat like a rocking chair;
Although it keeps you occupied,
     It doesn’t get you anywhere.

by Author Unknown

Overheard: Don’t tell me worrying doesn’t do any good - I know better! Most of the things I worry about never happen.

“Worry is a cycle of inefficient thoughts whirling around a center of fear.” -Corrie ten Boom (Cornelia ‘Corrie’ ten Boom (1892 - 1983))

“Nothing wastes more energy than worrying. The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it becomes. Don’t take life too seriously. Live a life full of serenity, not of regrets.” -Douglas Pagels (born 1950)

“You can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.” -Janis Joplin (1943 - 1970)

“How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” (1948) is a self-help book by Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955)). Mr. Carnegie wrote in the preface of the book that he wrote it because he “was one of the unhappiest lads in New York.” He said that he made himself sick with worry because he hated his position in life. The goal of the book is to lead the reader to a more enjoyable and fulfilling life, helping them to become more aware of not only themselves, but of others around them. Mr. Carnegie addresses the everyday nuances of living, in order to get the reader to focus on the larger canvas of life.

“Worry never accomplishes anything. When you have a problem, it is best to concentrate on the solution to that problem, not the problem itself.” -Thomas D. Willhite (1940 - 1983)

“Worry is an unhealthy and destructive mental habit.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” -Epictetus (C.E. 55 - C.E. 135)

“If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will overlook what is.” -Author Unknown

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Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

So do not worry, saying, “What shall we eat?” or “What shall we drink?” or “What shall we wear?” For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

by Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Matthew,’ chapter 6, verses 25 through 34

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“Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due.” -William R. Inge (William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954))

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.” -Corrie ten Boom (Cornelia ‘Corrie’ ten Boom (1892 - 1983)): “Clippings from my Notebook” (1982)

“Worrying is silly - it is like walking around with an umbrella, waiting for it to rain.” -Author Unknown

How can you make the ‘Worry List’ you carry in your head a little shorter?

“Never bear more than one trouble at a time. Some people bear three kinds - all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have.” -Edward Everett Hale (1822 - 1909)

“To worry about tomorrow is to be unhappy today.” -Author Unknown

“You can’t change the past, but you can a ruin a perfectly good present worrying about the future.” -Author Unknown

“People spend most of their lives worrying about things that never happen.” -Jean Molière (pseudonym of Jean-Baptiste Poquelin (1622 - 1673))

Worrying and Worriers Quiz
- Do you have enough to worry about?
- Do other people often cause us to worry unnecessarily?
- How do you know if you are worrying too much?
- Can worrying make you sick?
- Can you teach yourself to worry less?

“Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. All it does is steal your joy and keep you busy doing nothing.” -Author Unknown

“If you truly want to test your memory, try to remember the things you worried about yesterday.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t fill your head with worries. There won’t be room for anything else.” -Author Unknown

“Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.” -Mary Hemingway (1908 - 1986)

“Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep always in the sunlight.” -Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)

“Worrying is like wishing for something that you do not want.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“I’ve got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I’m stressing about for absolutely no logical reason.” -Author Unknown

“Do not let trifles disturb your tranquility of mind. The little pinpricks of daily life, when dwelt upon and magnified, may do great damage, but if ignored or dismissed from thought, will disappear from inanition. Most men have worried about things which never happened, and more men have been killed by worry than by hard work. Life is so great in its opportunities and possibilities, that you should rise confidently above the inevitable trifles incident to daily contact with the world. Life is too precious to be sacrificed for the nonessential and transient . . . Ignore the inconsequential.” -Grenville Kleiser (1868 - 1953)

At MFOL! we are worried that we might be taken seriously . . . okay, that’s enough worrying for one day . . . now let’s go have some fun!

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Happiness

4/28/2019

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“There is always something to be happy about.” -Author Unknown

Cheerfulness

I’m glad the sky is painted blue
And the Earth is painted green
And such a lot of nice fresh air
All sandwiched in between.

by Author Unknown

“On the whole, the happiest people seem to be those who have no particular cause for being happy except that they are so.” -William R. Inge (William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954))

“A happy life is built up of little clumps of violets noticed along the roadside.” -Author Unknown

“The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719): as quoted in Tryon Edwards: “A Dictionary of Thoughts” (1908), page 217

“The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime.” -Author Unknown

“You have it easily in your power to increase the total sum of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“Happiness is a choice.” -Barry Neill Kaufman (born 1942), website: http://www.barryneilkaufman.com/

“Happiness seems made to be shared.” [English translation]
“Le bonheur semble fait pour être partagé.” [original French]
-Pierre Corneille (1606 - 1684): “Notes par Rochefoucauld”

“Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect; it just means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.” -Author Unknown

“Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it.” -Jacques Prévert (1900 - 1977)

“Happiness walks on busy feet.” -Kitte Turmell

“A lot of happiness is overlooked because it doesn’t cost anything.” -Author Unknown

“Whoever is happy will make others happy too.” -Anne Frank (1929 - 1945): “The Diary of a Young Girl” (1952)

“It’s being so cheerful as keeps me going.” -Mona Lott’s catchphrase on “ITMA” (1939 - 1949), a BBC radio program; Mona Lott is a fictional character portrayed by Joan Harben (1909 - 1953)

“Happiness is not perfected until it is shared.” -Jane Porter (1776 - 1850)

“Not only is there a right to be happy, there is a duty to be happy. So much sadness exists in the world that we are all under obligation to contribute as much joy as lies within our powers.” -John Sutherland Bonnell (1893 - 1992)

“Happiness will bring you good luck.” -Author Unknown: fortune cookie saying

“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Look at the trees, look at the birds, look at the clouds, look at the stars . . . and if you have eyes you will be able to see that the whole existence is joyful. Everything is simply happy. Trees are happy for no reason; they are not going to become prime ministers or presidents and they are not going to become rich and they will never have any bank balance. Look at the flowers - for no reason. It is simply unbelievable how happy flowers are.” -Osho (Rajneesh Chandra Mohan Jain)

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” -Teresa of Calcutta (also known as Mother Teresa (1910 - 1997))

“Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies.” -Gene Hill (Gene Atkins Hill (1928 - 1997))

“Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.” -Aeschylus (about 525 B.C.E. - about 456 B.C.E.): “Agamemnon,” 928

“Happiness! Can any human being undertake to define it for another?” -Dinah Craik (Dinah Maria Craik (1826 - 1887)): “A Woman’s Thoughts about Women” (1858), Chapter 10

“Happiness is a direction, not a destination.” -Author Unknown

“I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.” -Martha Washington (1731 - 1802)

“Happiness is a way-station between too little and too much.” -Channing Pollock (1880 - 1946)

“To me there is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” -Robert Louis Stevenson (Robert Louis Balfour Stevenson (1850 - 1894))

“How true it is that, if we are cheerful and contented, all nature smiles, the air seems more balmy, the sky clearer, the Earth has a brighter green . . . the flowers are more fragrant . . . and the Sun, Moon, and stars all appear more beautiful, and seem to rejoice with us.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“True happiness consists in making others happy.” -Author Unknown

Happiness: hap-pi-ness, ha-pē-nǝs, noun. A mental state of well-being characterized by positive emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.

“Happiness is in the heart, not in circumstances or in things.” -Author Unknown

“Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.” -William Cowper (1731 - 1800): “Task,” book III, line 41

“Folks are generally as happy as they make up their minds to be.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

Do more of what makes you happy . . . like writing messages on foggy windows and on sandy beaches.

“Spread happiness; a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” -Author Unknown

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180))

“Jumping for joy is good exercise.” -Author Unknown

“Happiness doesn’t depend on what we have, but it does depend on how we feel toward what we have. We can be happy with little and miserable with much.” -William Dempster Hoard (1836 - 1918)

“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” -Author Unknown: “Holy Bible,” (King James Version (1611)), ‘The Book of Proverbs,’ chapter 17, verse 22

“Happiness belongs to those who are sufficient unto themselves. For all external sources of happiness and pleasure, are by their very nature, highly uncertain, precarious, ephemeral, and subject to chance.” -Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860)

“People need joy. Quite as much as clothing. Some of them need it far more.” -Margaret Collier Graham (1850 - 1910)

“There is no happiness except in the realization that we have accomplished something.” -Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)

“Happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it is too late.” -Robert R. Updegraff (Robert Rawls Updegraff (1889 - 1977))

“Cheerful people, the doctors say, resist disease better than glum people. In other words, ‘The surly bird catches the germ.’” -Author Unknown

“We deem those happy who, from the experience of life, have learned to bear its ills, without being overcome by them.” [English translation]
“Ducimus autem hos quoque felices, qui ferre incommoda vitæ, nec jactare jugum vita didicere magistra.” [original Latin]
-Juvenal (Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis (about C.E. 55 - C.E. 130)): “Satires,” XII, 20

“Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor ‘Eleanor’ Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“The greatest happiness is to be that which one is.” -Theodore Herzl (1860 - 1904)

“Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” -Guillaume Apollinaire (Wilhelm Apollinaris de Dostrowitsky (1880 - 1918))

“Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling.” -Margaret Runbeck (Margaret Lee Runbeck (1900 - 1956)): “Time for Each Other” (1944)

“A single joy can scatter a hundred griefs.” -Author Unknown

“The great end of all human industry is the attainment of happiness. For this were arts invented, sciences cultivated, laws ordained, and societies modelled, by the most profound wisdom of patriots and legislators. Even the lonely savage, who lies exposed to the inclemency of the elements and the fury of wild beasts, forgets not, for a moment, this grand object, of his being.” -David Hume (1711 - 1776): “The Stoic,” ‘Essays, Moral, Political and Literary,’ part 1, essay 16, as published in “The Philosophical Works of David Hume” (1826), volume 3, page 167

“Happiness is a direction and not a place.” -Sydney J. Harris (Sydney Justin Harris (1917 - 1986))

“The happy people are those who are producing something; the bored people are those who are consuming much and producing nothing.” -William R. Inge (William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954))

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” -Frederick Koenig (Friedrich Gottlob Koenig (1774 - 1833))

“A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.” -Author Unknown

“The path to cheerfulness is to sit cheerfully and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1788))

“Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.” -Steve Maraboli (born 1975)

“A light heart lives long.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

“What is happiness and unhappiness? It depends so little on the circumstances; it depends really only on what happens inside a person. I am grateful for every day . . . and that makes me happy.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906 - 1945)

“The happiest people are the ones who make others happy.” -Author Unknown

“When you seek happiness for others, you will find it for yourself.” -Lori Moreno

“The happiest people are those who think the most interesting thoughts. Those who decide to use leisure as a means of mental development, who love good music, good books, good pictures, good company, good conversation, are the happiest people in the world. And they are not only happy in themselves, they are the cause of happiness in others.” - William L. Phelps (William Lyon Phelps (1865 - 1943))

“Resolve to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845)

“I do not know of any sure way of making others happy as being so oneself.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875)

“Be happy. It’s one way of being wise.” -Sidonie Gabrielle Colette (1873 - 1954)

“The joy that you give to others is the joy that comes back to you.” -John Greenleaf Whittier (1807 - 1892)

“Happiness is no laughing matter.” -Richard Whately (1787 - 1863): “Apophthegms” (1854)

“You cannot always have happiness, but you can always give happiness.” -Author Unknown

“Happiness lies, first of all, in health.” -George William Curtis (1824 - 1892)

“Happiness is not an ideal of reason but of imagination.” -Immanuel Kant (1724 - 1804): “Fundamental Principles of the Metaphysics of Ethics” (1785)

“Happiness is not a matter of events; it depends upon the tides of the mind.” -Alice Meynell (1847 - 1922)

“If you do not have the capacity for happiness with a little money, great wealth will not bring it to you.” -William Feather (William Arthur Feather (1889 - 1981)): “The Business of Life” (1949)

Affirmation: I choose happiness.

“The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions - the little soon-forgotten charities of a kiss, a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment in the disguise of a playful raillery, and the countless other infinitesimal of pleasurable thought and genial feeling.” -Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834)

“Happiness is not a possession to be prized, it is a quality of thought, a state of mind.” -Daphne du Maurier (1907 - 1989)

“It is the inalienable right of all to be happy.” -Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815 - 1902) (1861)

“Happiness is surely the best teacher of good manners: only the unhappy are churlish in deportment.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)): “Where the Blue Begins” (1922)

“The happy man is not he who seems thus to others, but who seems thus to himself.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“Some pursue happiness, while others create it.” -Author Unknown

“Happiness is the atmosphere in which all things grow.” -Author Unknown

We are MFOL! . . . spread the merriment . . .

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Encouragement and Praise

4/27/2019

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“Praise works with only three types of people; men, women, and children.” -Author Unknown

“Everybody likes a compliment.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 -1910))

“Remember the compliments you have received and forget the rude remarks.” -Author Unknown

Arnold Bennett, the British novelist, had a publisher who boasted about the extraordinary efficiency of his secretary. One day while visiting the publisher’s office, Bennett asked her: “Your boss claims you’re extremely efficient. What’s your secret?” “It’s not my secret,” said the secretary, “it’s his.” Each time she did something for him, no matter how insignificant, she explained, he never failed to acknowledge and appreciate it. Because of this, she took infinite pains with her work.

Flattery

’Tis an old maxim in the schools,
That flattery’s the food of fools;
Yet now and then your men of wit
Will condescend to take a bit.

by Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745): “Cadenus and Vanessa” (1713)

“Celebrate what you want to see more of.” -Tom Peters (born 1942)

“When you feel in need of a compliment give one to someone else.” -Author Unknown

“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windshield; it said ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.” -Tim Vine (Timothy Mark ‘Tim’ Vine (born 1967))

“Be quick to praise people. People like to praise those who praise them.” -Bernard Baruch (1870 - 1965): as attributed in William Safire and Leonard Safir: “Words of Wisdom: More Good Advice” (1989), page 294

“Any man’s life will be filled with constant and unexpected encouragement if he makes up his mind to do his level best each day.” -Booker T. Washington (Booker Taliaferro Washington (1856 - 1915))

An Old Person of Filey

There was an old person of Filey,
Of whom his acquaintance spoke highly;
He danced perfectly well,
To the sound of a bell,
And delighted the people of Filey.

by Author Unknown

“A person places themselves on a level with the ones they praise.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“What really flatters a man is that you think him worth flattering.” -George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950): “John Bull’s Other Island” (1904), Act 4

“Note how good you feel after you have encouraged someone else. No other argument is necessary to suggest that one never miss the opportunity to give encouragement.” -George Adams (George Matthew Adams (1878 - 1962))

“You can’t eat compliments.” -Charles M. Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000)): “Things I’ve Had to Learn Over and Over Again (Plus a Few Minor Discoveries)” (1984)

“The sweetest of all sounds is praise.” -Xenophon (430 B.C.E. - 352 B.C.E.) (about 380 B.C.E.)

“Flattery must be pretty thick before anybody objects to it.” -William Feather (William Arthur Feather (1889 - 1981)): “The Business of Life” (1949)

“When your goal is to build people up, to make them feel better, to share in their joy, you too reap the rewards of their positive feelings. The next time you have the chance to correct someone, even if their facts are a little off, resist the temptation. Instead, ask yourself, “What do I really want out of this interaction?” Chances are, what you want is a peaceful interaction where all parties leave feeling good. Each time you resist ‘being right,’ and instead choose kindness, you’ll notice a peaceful feeling within.” -Richard Carlson (1961 - 2006): “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” (1997), page 37; website: https://dontsweat.com/

Now that is indeed a job whale done . . .

“The most effective way to achieve right relations with any living thing is to look for the best in it, and then help that best into the fullest expression.” -J. Allen Boone (John Allen Boone (1882 - 1965))

“Praise, like gold and diamonds, owes its value only to its scarcity.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): “The Rambler” (6 June 1751)

“Appreciate good people. They are hard to come by.” -Author Unknown

“If you mean to profit, learn to praise.” -Charles Churchill (1731 - 1764): “Gotham” (1764), book II

“Praise does wonders for our sense of hearing.” -Arnold H. Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“Praise makes good Men better, and bad Men worse.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 3918

High praise indeed . . . comes from mountaintops!

“Be advised that all flatterers live at the expense of those who listen to them.” -Jean de La Fontaine (1621 - 1695)

“The people who are lifting the world onward and upward are those who encourage more than they criticize.” -Elizabeth Harrison (1849 - 1927)

“People are in greater need of your praise when they try and fail, than when they try and succeed.” -Bob Moawad (Robert Abraham Moawad (1941 - 2007))

“Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don’t swallow it.” -Hank Ketcham (born Henry King Ketcham (1920 - 2001))

“Correction does much, but encouragement does more.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“One kind word can change someone’s entire day.” -Author Unknown

“. . . envy is a kind of praise.” -John Gay (1685 - 1732)

Flattery: False praise, a form of lying; see also exaggeration, another form of lying.

Compliment: A hug by way of words.

“Flatterers look like friends, as wolves like dogs.” -George Chapman

Overheard: If you can’t get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.

“A compliment is something like a kiss through a veil.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“Nothing else can quite substitute for a few well-chosen, well-timed, sincere words of praise. They’re absolutely free and worth a fortune.” -Sam Walton (1918 - 1992)

“I have always said that if I were a rich man I’d hire a professional praiser.” -Osbert Sitwell (Francis Osbert Sacheverell Sitwell (1892 - 1969))

“Fair words butter no parsnips.” -John Clarke (1596 - 1658): “Paroemiologia” (1639), page 21

“When someone does something well, applaud! You will make two people happy.” -Samuel Goldwyn (also known as Samuel Goldfish, born Szmuel Gelbfisz (1879 - 1974))

“You are every lovely word I could possibly think of.” -Author Unknown

“Never let an opportunity pass to say a kind or encouraging word to another person.” -Author Unknown

“Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it.” -Jess Lair (1927 -2000)

“You need to be aware of what others are doing, applaud their efforts, acknowledge their successes, and encourage them in their pursuits. When we all help one another, everybody wins.” -Jim Stovall (born 1958)

“When a proud Man hears another praised, he thinks himself injured.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734)

“Compliment people; magnify their strengths, not their weaknesses.” -Author Unknown

“Let’s cease thinking of our accomplishments, our wants. Let’s try to figure out the other man’s good points. Then forget flattery. Give honest, sincere appreciation. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise, and people will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime - repeat them years after you have forgotten them.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“I would like to compliment you on the fine job you are doing of complimenting me.” -Author Unknown

“Flattery corrupts both the receiver and the giver.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797): “Reflections on the Revolution in France” (1790)

“Compliments are free of cost and obligation; indeed, they are ‘complimentary.’” -Author Unknown

“Encourage one another. Many times a word of praise or thanks or appreciation or cheer has kept people on their feet.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“Compliments are the gift of prosperity. I have learned to accept them graciously.” -Louise Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017))

“To encourage someone is literally to instill courage in someone.” -Author Unknown

“Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement - and we will make the goal.” -Jerome P. Fleishman

“It’s always worthwhile to make others aware of their worth.” -Malcolm Forbes (Malcolm Stevenson Forbes (1919 - 1990))

“Find the good - and praise it.” -Alex Haley (Alexander Murray Palmer Haley (1921 - 1992))

“A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles.” -William Hazlitt (similar quotation attributed to Leo Buscaglia)

“The way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.” -Charles Schwab (Charles Michael Schwab (1862 - 1939))

Some encouragement consists of praise combined with expectation, as for example, “You are always mommy’s little angel,” or “You are the best thing that has ever happened to this company.” So, there is the praise or compliment, plus the expectation, all melded into one. It is as though someone is being encouraged to do and be good, while his or her previous or present goodness is being acknowledged.

This is MFOL! . . . a website for exceedingly extraordinarily exceptionally excellent extra-special people like yourself . . .

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Boomerangs and Throwing Sticks

4/26/2019

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For a while, I could not quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.

A boomerang makes a good whittling project. Start with a piece of a bent tree branch, split it lengthwise with an axe, and whittle away at it with a knife until you have made your own handcrafted throwing stick. Experiment with body and edge shapes to find what creates the best results when you fling your projectile into the wild blue yonder.

Boomerang: What you say to frighten a meringue.

Boomerangs come in two general categories: returning and non-returning.

A native Australian was given a new boomerang as a gift. The trouble was that he spent the rest of his life trying to throw his old one away.

The returning boomerang can be used for recreation and sports, as a leisure toy, or as a weapon. A returning boomerang consist of two or more connected airfoil wings, configured so as to create an aerodynamically imbalanced shape that follows an elliptical trajectory, so that if used properly, it will fly away from the thrower, follow a curved flight path, and then return to the thrower.

Jack: What do you get if you cross a skunk and a boomerang?
Jill: A smell you cannot get rid of.

The non-returning boomerang, or throwing stick, is intended primarily as a lethal weapon for use by hunters to kill animals for food, and doubles as an implement for digging and for starting friction fires, and even as a sound-producing instrument or signaling device when two of the sticks are struck together.

Riddle: What do you call a boomerang that does not return after you throw it?
Answer: A stick.

A group of hunters armed with boomerangs can launch them into a flock of birds or a herd of animals in a coordinated effort, and with some statistical likelihood, achieve the objective of bringing down one or more of the birds or animals for their next meal.

Anne: What is an Australian ghost’s favorite snack?
Gus: Boo-meringue pie.

Boomerangs use the same general principle as the wings of airplanes which, when moving forward through the air, develop lift. Indeed, boomerangs are among the earliest known human-made heavier-than-air flying objects, developed before even the bow-and-arrow and the slingshot.

“The game of life is the game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds, and words return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy.” -Florence Scovel Shinn (1871 - 1940): “The Game of Life and How to Play It” (1925)

Boomerang: A cross between a cannon and a bell.

Although boomerangs are often associated with the continent of Australia, they have also been discovered in much older sites in the part of the world that is now the country of Poland, and which are associated with early humans of about 30,000 years ago. Other boomerangs have been found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs that are over 2,000 years old.

Overheard: My uncle Will had a boomerang that he did not want, but every time he tried to throw it away, he ended up badly injured.

In 1992, German astronaut Ulf Merbold performed an experiment aboard the orbiting Spacelab that demonstrated boomerangs can function in zero gravity just as they do on Earth. French astronaut Jean-François Clervoy demonstrated the experiment while aboard the Mir space station in 1997. In 2008, Japanese astronaut Takao Doi again repeated the experiment. Who says people cannot have fun in space?

Samantha: How do you get rid of a boomerang?
Tabitha: Throw it down a one-way street?

Boomerangs: Echo sticks.

The best place to be when your boomerang makes its return flight would be behind a tree or rock, wearing a helmet, goggles, and thick padded protective clothes. Until you have gotten significant practice in throwing boomerangs, it is recommended that you do so only under the supervision of an experienced boomerang thrower. Practice in an area with plenty of room and with no people or animals or breakable objects within the throwing stick’s flight path, which of course means you will not want anyone standing close to you, either. An open field will do nicely. A boomerang is a potential killing weapon, so when it comes flying back to you, never try to catch it as you would a ball or a Frisbee; instead, let it hit the ground and then go pick it up.

He wondered why the boomerang kept getting bigger until it finally hit him.

“Life is like a boomerang; the more good you throw out, the more you get in return.” -Author Unknown

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A Boomerang World

As I was sitting outside this morning sipping my coffee and watching the Sun climb over the horizon, I looked down and saw a curved stick on the ground that reminded me of a boomerang. Suddenly I was caught up in memories of me as a kid playing for hours on end in my grandfather’s backyard with a small wooden boomerang he had given to me as a gift.

Remember when you were a kid, how fascinated you were with boomerangs? (At least I was.) You take this flat, curved piece of wood and throw it and then watch in amazement as it curves around in the air and comes right back to you.

As ‘miraculous’ as that seemed when we were kids, I’ve found that most of our life is like that. Whatever we throw out there, comes back to us.

We live in a boomerang world.

Let me explain:

If you smile at someone, in almost every case, they will smile back. Try it now with someone nearby and see if it works.

If you are kind toward someone, he or she will usually be kind in return. Of course, this also works in the other direction.

If you complain to someone, they will share their complaints with you. In fact, you may quickly find yourself in a subtle competition to see who is more miserable.

If you get angry at someone, they will usually get angry with you. And so on . . .

The fact is, whatever you decide to throw out into the world will usually circle around and land right back at your feet, much like the boomerangs we played with as kids.

Here’s what struck me this morning.

I have a choice about what I decide to throw out into my world. I have a choice about what I want to land at my feet?

If you want more joy - throw it out there.

If you want more happiness - throw some happiness out there to someone else and watch it miraculously come back to you.

It even works with money. Need money? Give some away. The spiritual leaders from the beginning of time have been telling us this, but most of us are afraid to believe it.

It works in just about every area of our life. When we give something away, when we throw it out there - it comes back to us.

But here’s the good news and this is really the miraculous part, we actually get more back than what we throw out there. Plant a seed and you don’t just get one seed back. You get hundreds - maybe even thousands!

So today and for as many days afterwards as you want, make a conscious choice about what you want to throw out into the world. By doing this, you will be making a choice about what is going to come back and land at your feet.

Remember the boomerang and that whatever you throw out there, will come back to you many times over.

by Author Unknown

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Jeremiah: What do you get when you cross a boomerang and a rubber band?
Jeremy: A snappy comeback!

“Everything you unleash into the world will find its way back to you.” -Author Unknown

Bernie: Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Barney: He was trying to fetch a boomerang.

Overheard: “I threw a boomerang six years ago, and it never came back. Now I live in constant fear.”

This is MFOL! . . . boomeranging out all across the internet . . . we can hardly wait to see its return flight . . . there it is . . . run for your life!

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