Make Fun Of Life!

This Cat Has Six Legs!

10/25/2021

Picture of a domestic cat that appears to have six legs, walking along the top of a wooden fence.

This unusual cat appears to have six legs. What does this mean? We’ll get back to you with the answer to that question . . .

If you came here looking for fun, you are in the right place. Just travel down this page, skipping the ridiculous articles, until you come to the ones that appeal to you. When you have a moment, be sure to visit some of the more than 70 other pages on the website, such as the Library Page, which includes Fairy Tales, Adventure, and Horror, and which can be explored by clicking or tapping on the drop-down menu near the top of this page or further down this page in the right-hand column as blinking images.

We are MFOL! . . . now what else can we make with the Junior Scientist DNA Manipulation Kit that we recently bought online . . .

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Inquisitiveness and Curiosity

10/25/2021

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Picture of three young children in a green grassy area with yellow dandelions and white daisies, looking at something on the ground through a hand-held magnifying glass.

“Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness.” -Bryant McGill (born 1969)

“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” -Carl Sagan (Carl Edward Sagan (1934 - 1996))

“I would rather live in a world where life is surrounded by mystery, than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969): “Riverside Sermons” (1958)

Inquisitive Lad

There once was a boy of Bagdad,
An inquisitive sort of a lad.
He said, “I will see
If a sting has a bee.”
And he very soon found that it had!

by Author Unknown

“A good scientist is a person in whom the childhood quality of perennial curiosity lingers on. Once he gets an answer, he has other questions.” -Frederick Seitz (1911 - 2008)

Patrice: You’re a real curiosity - did you know that?
Shaun: Well, thank you, though I doubt if you shall ever solve me.

“The Quest Quotient has always interested me more than the Intelligence Quotient.” -Eugene S. Wilson (Eugene Smith ‘Bill’ Wilson, Junior (1905 - 1981)): as quoted in “Reader’s Digest” (April 1968)

“Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.” -James Stephens (1880 - 1950)

“Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton asked why.” -Bernard Baruch (1870 - 1965)

“Be curious always! For knowledge will not acquire you; you must acquire it.” -Sudie Back (Sudie Elizabeth Back Sattler (born 1973))

Picture of two boys poking sticks into a pond that is thickly covered by green algae.

“A generous and elevated mind is distinguished by nothing more certainly than an eminent degree of curiosity.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in James Boswell, editor: “Life of Samuel Johnson” (1791), Volume I: ‘Letters to and from Dr. Samuel Johnson’

“She sat down in a weed patch, her elbows on her knees, and kept her eyes on the small mysterious world of the ground. In the shade and sun of grass blade forests, small living things had their metropolis.” -Nancy Price

“Leave no stone unturned.” -Euripides (about 480 B.C.E. - about 406 B.C.E.)

“To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says: ‘Leave no stone unturned.’” -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)

“The true delight is in the finding out rather than in the knowing.” -Isaac Asimov (1919 - 1992)

“Curiosity makes scientists of us all.” -Alan Howard Cottrell

“Look and you will find it - what is unsought will go undetected.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“Curiosity is a willing, a proud, an eager confession of ignorance.” -S. Leonard Rubinstein (Samuel Leonard Rubinstein (1922 - 2013)): “Writing: A Habit of Mind” (1972)

“Man is incurably curious; his desire to know and to understand is the mainspring of invention, discovery, civilization, progress, the driving force, which leads then to learning.” -Author Unknown

“Be aware of wonder. And then remember the, “Dick and Jane,” books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - look.” -Robert Fulghum (Robert Lee Fulghum (born 1937))

“Not to know is bad; not to wish to know is worse.” -Author Unknown

“Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of vigorous minds.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): “The Rambler” (1750 - 1752), No. 103 (12 March 1751)

Picture of two girls looking at what one of them has cupped in her hands that was taken from a pool of water.

“I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“Being curious is like giving yourself a present whenever you want one.” -Author Unknown

“When curiosity turns to serious matters, it’s called research.” -Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach (also known as Marie Ebner von Eschenbach (1830 - 1916))

“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.” -Author Unknown

“The greatest virtue of man is perhaps curiosity.” -Anatole France (pseudonym of Jacques Anatole François Thibault (1844 - 1924))

“Curiosity killed the cat.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in the “Los Angeles Times” (22 August 1901) newspaper

Overheard: ‘Curiosity killed the cat’ is a common saying, but until someone shows me the record of the incident, I shall be disinclined to believe it.

“The place where you lose the trail is not necessarily the place where it ends.” -Tom Brown, Junior (born 1950): “The Tracker” (1978)

Amy: Who crossed the road and left everyone wanting an explanation?
Eva: The chicken.

“The first and simplest emotion which we discover in the human mind, is curiosity.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

“Satisfaction of one’s curiosity is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life.” - Linus Pauling (Linus Carl Pauling (1901 - 1994))

“There are two sorts of curiosity - the momentary and the permanent. The momentary is concerned with the odd appearance on the surface of things. The permanent is attracted by the amazing and consecutive life that flows on beneath the surface of things.” -Robert Lynd (Robert Wilson Lynd (1879 - 1949))

Picture of a young child peering up over the edge of a table.

“Curiosity is the one thing invincible in nature.” -Freya Stark (Freya Madeline Stark (1893 - 1993))

“Things that people learn purely out of curiosity can have a revolutionary effect on human affairs.” -Frederick Seitz (1911 - 2008): in an interview (3 September 1997) for the George C. Marshall Institute

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” -William Butler Yeats (1865 - 1939)

“Isn’t it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive - it’s such an interesting world. It wouldn’t be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There’d be no scope for imagination then, would there?” -L. M. Montgomery (Lucy Maud Montgomery (1874 - 1942)): “Anne of Green Gables” (June 1908), Chapter 2; line spoken by fictional character Anne

“What drove me and kept me going over the decades? If I had to use a single word, it would be ‘curiosity’.” -Eve Arnold

“The moment that one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious and awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.” -Henry Miller (Henry Valentine Miller (1891 - 1980))

“‘Curiouser and curiouser!’ cried Alice.” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Alice in Wonderland” (1865), Chapter II

This is MFOL! . . . the website for anyone who has ever been told that he or she is a real curiosity . . . which is, after all, what everyone is . . .

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Playtime and Playing

10/20/2021

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Picture of a sign showing children at play as a caution for vehicle drivers.

“It is essential to our well-being, and to our lives, that we play and enjoy life.” -Marcia Wieder

George knocked on the door of his friend’s house. When his friend’s mother answered he asked, “Can Albert come out to play?” “No,” said the mother, “It’s too cold.” “Well, then,” said George, “can his football come out to play?”

“It is a happy talent to know how to play.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882): “Journals”

When Albert’s baby sister was born, his mother told him the baby would be nice to play with. After looking at it for a while, he complained, “Yes, but where are its wheels?”

“We are never more fully alive, more completely ourselves, or more deeply engrossed in anything than when we are playing.” -Charles Schaefer

“My childhood may be over, but that doesn’t mean playtime is.” -Ron Olson

“As astronauts and space travelers children puzzle over the future; as dinosaurs and princesses they unearth the past. As weather reporters and restaurant workers they make sense of reality; as monsters and gremlins they make sense of the unreal.” -Gretchen Owocki

“Play is the highest form of research!” -attributed to Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“Always jump in the puddles! Always skip alongside the flowers. The only fights worth fighting are the pillow and food varieties.” -Terri Guillemets (born 1973)

“Surely all God’s people, however serious or savage, great or small, like to play. Whales and elephants, dancing, humming gnats, and invisibly small mischievous microbes - all are warm with divine radium and must have lots of fun in them.” -John Muir (1838 - 1914): “The Story of My Boyhood and Youth” (1913), pages 186 and 187

“The true object of all human life is play.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936)): “All Things Considered” (1908)

“Today I will do something just for the fun of it. I will find something to do that’s just for me, and I won’t worry about what I ‘should’ be doing. I will learn how to make myself feel good and enjoy life to the fullest.” -Melody Beattie (Melody Lynn Beattie (born 1948))

“To play is to yield oneself to a kind of magic.” -Hugo Rahner

Riddle: What does the following mean? A maximum amount of purposeful activity and a minimum amount of disport and dalliance cause Jack to become a dim-witted, stagnant dunce of the male species.
Solution: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in James Howell (1594 - 1666): “Proverbs in English, Italian, French, and Spanish” (1659)

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,
All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy.
-Maria Edgeworth (1768 - 1849): “Harry and Lucy Concluded” (1825)

“If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.” -John Cleese

“Whenever you trace the origin of a skill or practices which played a crucial role in the ascent of man, we usually reach the realm of play.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)

Have you played today?

“Children’s games are hardly games. Children are never more serious than when they play.” -Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)

“Imaginative play is a key that opens the doors of intuition.” -Frances Vaughan (1935)

“Work and play are an artificial pair of opposites, because the best kind of play contains an element of work, and the most productive kind of work must include something of the spirit of play.” -Sydney J. Harris (Sydney Justin Harris (1917 - 1986))

As Johnny Went A-Walking

As Johnny went a-walking, a-walking, a-walking
As Johnny went-a-walking one fine day
He met a little neighbor, a neighbor, a neighbor
And they began to play:
First they played at horses, horses, horses
First they played at horses
Just this way:
They played at aeroplanes, aeroplanes, aeroplanes (and so on).
Then they played at bunnies, bunnies, bunnies (and so on).
Then they played at fire engines, fire engines, fire engines (and so on).

by Author Unknown

“Play is the exultation of the possible.” -Martin Buber (1878 - 1965)

Let’s play ‘airplane’! Let’s play choo-choo train! Let’s play tag - you’re it! Let’s play swamp monster! Let’s play dinosaurs! Let’s play hide-and-seek! Let’s play space aliens! Let’s play cops and robbers! Let’s play follow-the-leader! Let’s play dress-up! Let’s play store! Can you think of other games we can play?

“All play is associated with intense thought activity and rapid intellectual growth.” -N. V. Scarfe: ‘Play is Education’ article published in the “Childhood Education” (November 1962) journal, Volume 39, Issue 3, page 120

“Play is our brain’s favorite way of learning.” -Diane Ackerman

“It is paradoxical that many educators and parents still differentiate between a time for learning and a time for play without seeing the vital connection between them.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

Playing Outdoors

What lovely things
    Outdoors I see!
The sun, a bird,
    A great big tree!
God put them there
    For you and me!

by Author Unknown

“The ability to play is essential to being a creative artist.” -Dewitt Jones

“It should be noted that children at play are not playing about; their games should be seen as their most serious-minded activity.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)): “Essais” (“Essays”) (1595), Book 1, chapter 23

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” -George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

“In our play we reveal what kind of people we are.” -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18)): “The Art of Love” (about C.E. 8)

“If animals play, this is because play is useful in the struggle for survival; because play practices and so perfects the skills needed in adult life.” -Susanne Millar

“Play: Instinctually guided unrestrained accelerated learning along unpredictable tangential paths leading to successful survival.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“To the art of working well a civilized race would add that art of playing well.” -George Santayana (1863 - 1952): “Little Essays” (1920)

Our minds need relaxation and give way
Unless we mix with work a little play.
-Molière (pseudonym of Jean-Baptiste Poquelin (1622 - 1673)): “The School for Husbands” (1661)

“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” -Plato (about 427 B.C.E. - about 347 B.C.E.)

“The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.” -Carl Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961))

“Play so that you may be serious.” -Anacharsis: as quoted in Aristotle: “Nicomachean Ethics” (about 350 B.C.E.)

“Each day, and the living of it, has to be a conscious creation in which discipline and order are relieved with some play and pure foolishness.” -May Sarton (pseudonym of Eleanore Marie Sarton (1912 - 1995))

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Play

Housework can wait,
     My children need kisses.
They want me to play,
     I’ll put off the dishes.

When they’re grown,
     I’ll keep the house spic’n’ span . . .
But children grow fast so
     I’ll play while I can.

by Leslie Prest

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l i v e ☆ l e a r n ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ l a u g h
Nn Oo Pp Qq Rr Ss Tt Uu Vv Ww Xx Yy Zz

“When children pretend, they are using their imaginations to move beyond the bounds of reality. A stick can be a magic wand. A sock can be a puppet. A small child can be a superhero.” -Fred Rogers (Fred McFeely ‘Mister’ Rogers (1928 - 2003))

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wanda.
Wanda, who?
Wanda come over and play with me?

“Having forgotten the importance of play or even how to play, we have invented professional sports leagues. Play is fun; sport as entertainment is vicarious fun, or fun minus the robust growth of mind and muscle and genuine camaraderie.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child at play.” -Heraclitus (Heraclitus of Ephesus (about 535 B.C.E. - 475 B.C.E.)) (500 B.C.E.)

“Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.” -Fred Rogers (Fred McFeely ‘Mister’ Rogers (1928 - 2003))

“Play is the only way the highest intelligence of humankind can unfold.” -Joseph Chilton Pierce

“This is the real secret of life - to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.” -Alan Watts (Alan Wilson Watts (1915 - 1973)): “Essential Lectures of Alan Watts” (1973), Volume 1: ‘Work as Play’; type of work: audio recording

“Play keeps us vital and alive. It gives us an enthusiasm for life that is irreplaceable. Without it, life just doesn’t taste good.” -Lucia Capacchione

“Life is playfulness . . .We need to play so that we can rediscover the magic all around us.” -Flora Colao

“Play keeps us fit physically and mentally.” -Stuart Brown

“The human urge to create comes from the play impulse.” -Carla Hannaford: “Smart Moves: Why Learning Is Not All in Your Head”

“Play brings joy. And it’s vital for problem solving, creativity, and relationships.” -Margarita Tartakovsky

Henny: Why did the child cross the playground?
Penny: To get to the other slide!

“Some days are simply meant for playing.” -Mary Anne Radmacher (Mary Anne Em Radmacher (born 1957)), website: https://www.maryanneradmacher.net/

“The world is your playground. Why aren’t you playing?” -Ellie Katz

Every day, it is beneficial for all of us to get away from the little boxes in which we live and the little screens we stare at for hours without end, and go outside - do you remember the place called ‘outside’? Sure you do! It’s where birds and squirrels and grasshoppers and people live and learn and grow and play and have fun! So why not head out there right now and . . . Make Fun Of Life!

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Shoes and Footwear

10/17/2021

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Picture of a green grassy area with several pairs of shoes lined up in a circle with the toes facing inward.

Overheard: “I have enough shoes.”

The earliest known footwear is a pair of sandals that date back to about 7,000 B.C.E. However, anatomical analysis of early humans seems to indicate that we may have begun wearing shoes as early as 40,000 years ago. Before then, we ran around barefoot and ate rocks. What’s that . . . oh, apparently, early humans did not eat rocks . . . just wild plants, raw meat, and bugs. Aren’t you glad you wear shoes?

Dustin: Do your shoes have holes in them?
Austin: No.
Dustin: Then how did you get your feet into them?

Shoe store sign: Limited Time Offer - Buy Two Shoes - And Get A Third Shoe Absolutely Free!

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Edith: Who always goes to bed wearing shoes?
Edna: A horse, of course.

Shoes all over the world were identical until 1822, when left-footed and right-footed shoes were made for the first time in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States of America.

Sonya: Why did the two shoes not get along?
Sonny: Because they both thought they were ‘right.’

If the shoe fits, it must be some kind of trick - don’t be fooled!

Overheard: Your shoes certainly make you look ‘well-heeled’!

The boots Neil Armstrong wore when he walked on the Moon are still floating around somewhere in outer space. He had to leave his boots there so that he could bring as many Moon rocks as possible back to Earth.

Ida: What has a tongue but cannot speak?
Emma: A shoe.

If the shoe fits, buy a pair in every color.

Sabrina: What runs around all day and then lies on the floor with its tongue hanging out?
Katrina: Your shoe!

In the silent movie, “The Gold Rush” (August 1925), comedic actor Charlie Chaplin actually ate his shoe. He portrayed his signature character, ‘The Tramp’ as a gold prospector who was trapped in a cabin during a snowstorm. Starving, he decided to boil his boot and eat the laces like spaghetti. Fortunately for Mr. Chaplin’s digestive system, the shoe used in the movie was made of licorice candy provided by the American Licorice Company.

“High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))

Tutor: Can you name at least six things you can wear on your feet that begin with the letter ‘s’?
Student: Sandals, shoes, skates, skis, slippers, sneakers, snowshoes, socks, stilts, and stockings.

“It is totally impossible to be well-dressed in cheap shoes.” -Hardy Amies (Edwin Hardy Amies (1909 - 2003))

Many years ago, two salesmen were sent by a British shoe manufacturer to Africa to investigate and report on market potential. The first salesman reported back, “There is no potential here - nobody wears shoes.” The second salesman reported back, “There is massive potential here - nobody wears shoes.”

If the shoe fits your foot, it will not fit your budget.

Shoes and Footwear Facts
- The bottom of a shoe that touches the ground is called the ‘sole.’
- The edge around the opening of a shoe is called the ‘collar.’
- The holes in shoes that laces are fed through are called ‘eyelets.’
- The part of a shoe above the sole is called the ‘upper.’
- The plastic casings on the ends of shoelaces that prevent them from unraveling are called ‘aglets.’
- The tongue of a shoe will not lick your feet.

“Give a girl the right pair of shoes and she’ll conquer the world.” -Marilyn Monroe (pseudonym of Norma Jean Mortenson Baker (1926 - 1962))

Joe’s Shoes

The shoes of old Eskimo Joe
Fell apart as he walked in the snow.
     “Have you needle and thread?”
     I enquired, but he said,
“No, igloo them, not sew them, you know.”

by Author Unknown

“A man can walk without shoes, but shoes can’t walk without a man.” -George Daly

Squeakers: Shoes that mice wear.

Gregory: Who wears two pairs of shoes, both at the same time?
Geoffrey: Mules - as do horses, ponies, and mammoth donkeys used for riding.

“You cannot put the same shoe on every foot.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

If the shoe fits, you are asleep and having a dream about shoes.

“The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.” -C. G. Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961))

Melody: What is made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
Clarabelle: A shoe.

A typical pair of casual shoes will last for about 500 miles of walking.

This just in: There is more to life than shoes. We are kidding, of course!

If the shoe fits, it must be some kind of magical shoe.

Shoes and Footwear Quiz
- Describe the perfect pair of shoes.
- In what types of jobs do people need steel-toed boots or shoes?
- What are aglets and what is their purpose?
- What are arch supports?
- What are sensible shoes?
- What features should a person look for in a shoe?
- What is a padded collar on a shoe?
- What items make up a shoeshine kit?
- Which of the following shoe toe shapes is best for your feet: pointed, squared, or rounded?

Otis: What does a shoemaker use to repair shoes?
Otto: Toe-nails.

“A handsome shoe often pinches the foot.” -Author Unknown

Presto: What results from wearing tight shoes.

A man walked into a shoe store, and tried on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asked the sales clerk. “Well . . . they feel a bit tight,” replied the man. The assistant bent down and looked at the shoes and the man’s feet. “Try pulling out on the tongue,” offered the clerk. “Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth,” the man said.

Al: What goes, “Thump, thump, thump, squish! Thump, thump, thump, squish!”?
Fred: An elephant wearing a soggy tennis shoe.

“Never buy shoes early in the day when your feet are their smallest.” -Frances Patiky Stein

The best time to buy shoes is when you are cranky and tired from walking and standing around all day, say for example, after work or school. This is because your feet are likely to be at their largest at this time of the day. That is right, your feet change in size throughout the day. It is shocking, we know. In the morning, you arise with your feet well-rested, but as the day progresses, you put a lot of pressure on your feet, causing them to spread out and swell up. If you try on shoes at the start of the day, well, that is when your feet are small, and if you were to continue to wear that same pair of shoes all day long, by the end of the day, your feet would not be happy, because they will be crammed into shoes that are too tiny.

Maxwell: Why do cobblers (shoemakers) go to Heaven?
Maxine: Because they have good soles.

“If the shoe fits, it’s too expensive.” -Adrienne Gusoff

A man walked into a shoe store and asked for a pair of shoes in size eight. The well-trained salesman said, “But sir, you need an eleven or an eleven-and-a-half.” “Just bring me a size eight,” the man said. The sales guy brought them out and the man stuffed his feet into them and stood up in obvious pain. He turned to the salesman and said, “I’ll take them. You see, I have lost my house to the tax collector, I live with my mother-in-law, my daughter ran off with her no-account boyfriend, and my business has filed for bankruptcy. The only pleasure I have left is at the end of the day when I go home and take my shoes off.”

“If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear shoes that are too tight.” -Author Unknown: “The Houghton Line” (November 1965)

“I have tennis shoes with little rhinestones that I slip on if I exercise. But I always wear heels, even around the house. I’m such a short little thing, I can’t reach my kitchen cabinets.” -Dolly Parton (born 1946)

“Sure, I may walk around as if everything is fine . . . but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. I think that my shoe is trying to eat my sock, and that is a scary thought.” -Author Unknown

Darlene: What did the shoe say to the gum?
Darla: “Stick with me and we’ll go places!”

If the shoe fits, it’s obviously on somebody else’s foot.

Many people do not know that feet can increase by one-and-a-half shoe sizes or more throughout their lifetimes. A person’s feet can flatten and spread out as he or she ages, causing a permanent increase in both length and width. Additionally, changes in weight, surgery, amount of time spent standing and walking on the feet, lifting and moving heavy items all day long and other physical exertion at work and in play, and pregnancy, can cause foot size to increase. You may want to consider this the next time you go shoe shopping, especially if you are torturing yourself by trying to wear the same shoe size now that you wore years ago as a teenager or young adult. Try on slightly larger size shoes in slightly wider widths, perhaps with more toe room. Your feet will thank you!

“I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside, ‘Made around the corner.’” -Frank Carson

Shoes called sneakers were first produced in about 1800. They had a simple rubber sole design, with the name ‘sneaker’ coming from the fact that their soles are so smooth and yielding that they hardly make a sound on the ground.

Hubert: What kind of shoes do detectives wear?
Hugh: Sneakers!

Another name for a detective is a ‘gumshoe,’ because detectives have traditionally worn soft-soled shoes.

If the shoe fits, buy it.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pear.
Pear, who?
Pear of shoes!

Shoestring: What every self-made businessperson claims to have built a business on.

You can tell a lot about a person’s character by the shoes he or she wears.

Need money? How about this zany idea: Become a ‘shoe reading’ expert. People come to you, you look at their shoes, you tell them what their shoes reveal about them, and you then advise them on what kind of shoes to buy if they want people to have a different opinion of them based on their shoes. This idea makes a lot more sense than palm reading and other methods of ‘fortune telling.’

Overheard: So many shoes . . . and only two feet!

“Your shoes are only as good as the laces they’re attached to.” -Greg Sampson

Norma: Why did the shoelaces arrive late at the party?
Nora: Because they got all tied up earlier.

If the shoe fits, it is too good to be true.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe . . . rumor has it that it once belonged to a giant who lived at the top of a beanstalk . . . the old woman was ambling along, looking for affordable housing in a safe neighborhood for herself and her children, when all of a sudden, a really big shoe dropped out of the sky. Aren’t fairy tales fun?

Emma: What is sixty feet long, green, and has two tongues?
Emily: The Jolly Green Giant’s sneakers!

If the shoe fits, buy the store.

“I stand corrected!” said the man in the orthopedic shoes.

Shoe store sign: Buy One Shoe - Get Second Shoe Free!

The ‘boat shoe’ was invented by Paul Sperry. He modeled the sole of the shoe after his dog’s paw.

Ernie: What did one shoe say to the other shoe?
Bernie: “You stay here, and I’ll go on ahead to see what’s underfoot.”

“Shoes divide men into three classes. Some men wear their father’s shoes. They make no decisions of their own. Some are unthinkingly shod by the crowd. The strong man is his own cobbler. He insists on making his own choices. He walks in his own shoes.” -S. D. Gordon

Here’s a great title for a song: “I’ve Got the Squeaky Shoes Blues, Yeah!” Now we just need you to write the lyrics, or words, to go along with the song title.

“Shoes speak louder than words.” -Author Unknown

“Shoes squeak louder than words.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Moses: What kind of shoes are made from banana skins?
Moe: Slippers!

“Between saying and doing many a pair of shoes is worn out.” -Author Unknown: Italian proverb

One way to determine if shoes are a good fit is to wiggle your toes. If the shoes are roomy enough for you to wiggle your toes, that means your toes are less likely to be squeezed together in a space that is too tight for them, at which time they would cry for help the only way they know how, which is by sending pain signals to your brain.

If the shoe fits, you have somehow been magically transported to a fairy tale land.

Riddle:
I run over fields and woods all day;
Under a bed at night, I wait not alone
With long tongue hanging out,
I will be filled in the morn.
What am I?
Solution:
I am a shoe.

Customer: Do you have alligator shoes?
Clerk: Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?

If the shoe fits, you are daydreaming again . . . time to get back to work.

City Slicker: How far is it to Springerville?
Country Bumpkin: Well, I don’t rightly know, but I’ll ask Jethro. He’ll know. Jethro’s traveled all over. He’s got shoes!

“If the shoe fits, you’re not allowing for growth.” -Robert N. Coons

“Shoes aren’t for sitting petty in, shoes are made for walking in.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

This is MFOL! . . . and that’s everything we have cobbled together about shoes . . . What’s that? . . . Our shoes are calling to us . . . seems they want to go out walking . . . maybe we will see you out there . . .

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Attire and Accessories

10/14/2021

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Picture of a group of people dressed for business meeting and shaking hands in an office.

“The way we dress affects the way we think, the way we feel, the way we act, and the way others react to us.” -Judith Rasband

“Dress as if you have made something of yourself in the world, even if you have not.” -Author Unknown

“Never wear anything that panics the cat.” -P. J. O’Rourke (Patrick Jake O’Rourke (born 1947))

“Your shoes have to match your belt. That’s rule number one for guys. You can’t put the brown shoes with the black belt. Or a brown belt with a black wristwatch. Just don’t do it! Also, I don’t like boots with suits. And when you wear sneakers, make sure they go with your shirt.” -Ashton Kutcher (Christopher Ashton Kutcher (born 1978))

Riddle: What has two legs but cannot run?
Solution: A pair of trousers.

“Successful dress is really no more than achieving good taste and the look of the upper middle class.” -John T. Molloy (born 1937): “Dress for Success” (1975)

What do your clothes and other articles you wear or carry say about you? Do they accurately tell people who you really are? Are they giving people the wrong impression or the right impression, insofar as how you wish to be regarded?

One of the oldest pieces of women’s clothing discovered to date is a skirt similar to a Pacific-islander grass skirt, with bronze ornaments on the lower edge that would have jingled when its wearer walked or danced. Was it an article of clothing or a musical instrument?

“When in doubt, wear red.” -Bill Blass (William Ralph ‘Bill’ Blass (1922 - 2002))

“The well-dressed man never stands out in a crowd; his elegance sets him apart.” -Oscar de la Renta (pseudonym of Óscar Arístides Renta Fiallo (1932 - 2014))

Andy: Why were the suspenders sent to jail?
Barney: For holding up a pair of trousers.

“A well-dressed man is the best accessory a woman can have.” -Coco Chanel (Gabrielle Bonheur ‘Coco’ Chanel (1883 - 1971))

“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater . . . suggest that he wear a tail.” -Fran Lebowitz (Frances Ann ‘Fran’ Lebowitz (born 1950))

Jesse: Why are you wearing that fur coat?
Bessie: To stay warm, that’s what fur!

Animal hides and furs were one of the first types of clothing humans wore, and they continue to be worn even now for their warmth in areas that have extremely cold climates. However, in most places today, wearing fur is regarded as a luxury and has been made increasingly socially unacceptable through the efforts of animal rights activists.

“No one in the world needs a mink coat but a mink.” -Murray Banks (1917 - 2008)

“If you look good and dress well, you don’t need a purpose in life.” -Robert Pante

Until the mid-Middle Ages, clothes were usually fastened with ties (short lengths of rawhide or other material), beads-and-loops, or toggles. Lacing similar to the kind now used on shoes was still favored on clothes until the late 1600’s, as the best way to create a fit that could grow or shrink with one’s figure, during those times of alternating feast and famine. The first buttons as we recognize them appeared on clothes in the Middle Ages as a form of decoration. Zippers and Velcro would appear only much later in history.

“People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.” -Author Unknown

The YKK seen on most zippers stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushikkaisha, which roughly translates as the Yoshida Company Limited. Founded in 1934, YKK is the most widely-recognized zipper maker in the world.

Overheard: Amazing - you just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes!

Old Person of Brill

There was an old person of Brill,
Who purchased a shirt with a frill;
     But they said, “Don’t you wish,
     You mayn’t look like a fish,
You obsequious old person of Brill?”

by Edward Lear (1812 - 1888)

The clingy material Velcro was inspired by Burdock seeds, which have soft stickers that cling to clothing.

Not long ago, most people wore clothing made at home, usually of wool, linen, or less commonly, cotton. First, animal or plant fibers had to be spun into long pieces of thread, and then the thread had to be woven into cloth. The fabric was either left in its natural color or colored with dyes made from plants.

“The best-dressed woman is one whose clothes wouldn’t look too strange in the country.” -Hardy Amies (Edwin Hardy Amies (1909 - 2003))

“Dressing well is a form of good manners.” -Tom Ford

During the 1860’s, dresses were so wide that women often found themselves stuck while trying to get through doorways. But women alone cannot be blamed for this silliness, because historically and right up to the present time, both men and women have been fashion designers and dressmakers.

“Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“To me, clothing is a form of self-expression - there are hints about who you are in what you wear.” -Marc Jacobs (born 1963)

Nothing to Wear

Dresses for breakfasts, and dinners, and balls;
Dresses to sit in, and stand in, and walk in;
Dresses to dance in, and flirt in, and talk in;
Dresses in which to do nothing at all;
Dresses for Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall.

by William Allen Butler (1825 - 1902)

The invention of the automobile and the bicycle had a noticeable influence on women’s fashions. In the 1900’s, skirts became shorter to enable women to step into automobiles and climb onto bicycles more easily.

“There’s no such thing as a designer of menswear - it’s only history. The suit around the world is based on the English suit, which began in about 1670.” -Hardy Amies (Edwin Hardy Amies (1909 - 2003))

“Fashions fade, style is eternal.” -Yves Saint-Laurent (Yves Henri Donat Mathieu-Saint-Laurent (1936 - 2008))

By law, in Carmel, New York, United States of America, men are not allowed to go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.

“When you can’t do something truly useful, you tend to vent the pent up energy in something useless but available, like snappy dressing.” -Lois McMaster Bujold (born 1949)

“My dad’s pants kept creeping up on him. By sixty-five, he was just a pair of pants and a head.” -Jeff Altman (born 1951)

Sharp Dresser

I once had a cousin named Bruce
Whose clothing was always quite spruce.
     To people who stared
     He frankly declared
“Without them, I’d be a recluse.”

by Author Unknown

Harry S Truman was a haberdasher before becoming an American President. In partnership with his old Army buddy Edward Jacobson, he owned the Truman & Jacobson haberdashery at 104 West 12th Street in Kansas City, Kansas, United States of America. The pair started selling suits and accessories for gentlemen on 28 November 1919, and continued in the business until the Great Depression of the 1930’s forced them out of business.

“I often take a brand-new suit or hat and throw it up against the wall a few times to get that stiff, square newness out of it.” -Fred Astaire (pseudonym of Frederick Austerlitz (1899 - 1987))

The wasting moth ne’er spoil’d my best array;
The cause was this: I wore it every day.
-Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744)

“Over the years I have learned that what is important in a dress is the woman who is wearing it.” -Yves Saint-Laurent (Yves Henri Donat Mathieu-Saint-Laurent (1936 - 2008))

Khakis: What you need to start a car in Boston.

Women’s trousers, including pants and slacks and jeans, as worn now, were not regarded as acceptable for wearing in public until the Second World War. It was during the war that women began to do work that had formerly been done more commonly by men. Able-bodied men had been sent off to distant battlefields, and with a shortage of men to do work, manufacturers, businesses, farmers, and even the government began hiring women workers in their place. Before that time, women usually wore dresses or skirts with blouses, and worked in the home.

“Don’t get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny.” -Kathryn Carpenter

An increased emphasis on youth culture began in America during the 1950’s. Clothing styles started to lean toward the younger folks. The poodle skirt, which is a circle skirt having an embroidered dog and leash on the front, became fashionable. Who says we can’t put a bit of whimsy into our attire?

Jeans are trousers made from a heavy cotton fabric called denim. ‘Denim’ was originally called ‘serge de Nîmes,’ and came from the French seaside manufacturing town of Nîmes starting in the late 17th century. Over time, ‘de Nîmes’ was shortened to ‘denim.’ Jeans themselves were named after Genoan sailors from Genoa, Italy, who were locally known as ‘Genes,’ and who wore the material as clothing. Jeans were further developed as heavy-duty work trousers in the 1870’s by Levi Strauss, in California, United States of America. Levi’s jeans were originally dyed brown, but later were dyed the now-familiar blue color. Because all jeans are made from denim cloth, the term ‘denim jeans’ is redundant. One bale of cotton can be made into as many as 215 pairs of jeans.

“I have jeans with holes in them and I have nice jeans. I have casual and I have dressy jeans. I’ve got all kinds.” -Amanda Seyfried (Amanda Michelle Seyfried (born 1985))

Bell-bottom trousers were first worn by navy sailors, and were introduced to the fashion world by the hippies, with widespread popularity following soon thereafter. Also known as ‘flared’ pants, bell-bottoms are a garment associated with the societal trends of the 1960’s and 1970’s. They are a clothing article that many people still consider as an essential item in women’s wardrobes, and can even be paired with blouses that have flared sleeves and platform shoes to complete the hip flower-child look.

“Sweater: Garment worn by a child when his mother is feeling chilly.” -Ambrose Bierce (Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (1842 - 1914))

“You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and truth.” -Henrik Ibsen (Henrik Johan ‘Henrik’ Ibsen (1828 - 1906)): “An Enemy of the People” (1882), act 5

“Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.” -Janet Lane (Janet Lane-Claypon (1877 -1967))

Business people wear uniforms, though they may not think of what they wear as being such. They usually have greater leeway in choices of colors and patterns and styles and in choosing where to buy their clothes. Uniforms rules for business people are either stated openly in employee manuals and by workplace supervisors, or individual business people are expected to arrive at their own understanding of how to dress based on their own observations of other business people.

“With an evening coat and a white tie, anybody, even a stockbroker, can gain a reputation for being civilized.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

Women’s clothes have buttons on the left side, while men’s clothes have buttons on the right side. When buttons were invented, they were expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Because women were dressed by maids or servants, and because most people are right-handed, dressmakers placed the buttons where they would be easily reached. Men’s clothes had the button on the right, because they tended to dress themselves. Additionally, as men’s and women’s clothing became more similar and was mass produced and mass marketed, some type of way to easily tell men’s and women’s clothing apart was needed.

“It is difficult to see why lace should be so expensive, it is mostly holes.” -Mary Wilson Little (possibly born about 1880)

Fond pride of dress is sure a very curse;
Ere fancy you consult, consult your purse.
-Author Unknown

Overheard: I’ve been shopping all my life and still have nothing to wear!

Frank: Do you have holes in your clothes?
Ernest: No, of course not.
Frank: Then how do you get them on?

Evelyn: I think the clothes dryer must have shrunk my blouse. The collar is so tight that I can hardly breathe.
Daniel: Don’t be silly; you have put your head through the buttonhole.

“Dress like you are already the successful person you hope to become.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I wear V-neck shirts. I can’t wear a regular neck shirt, it hurts. And I especially hate turtlenecks. Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy all day.” -Mitch Hedberg (1968 - 2005)

“Labels on garments stating ‘One Size Fits All’ or even One Size Fits Most’ are a very un-funny joke that has been played on all of us for far too long - is there a lawyer somewhere out there who is willing to defend us against this kind of false advertising?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Euripides.
Euripides, who?
Euripides pants and you won’t get another pair!

“Know first who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly.” -Euripides (480 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“Nothing else you can wear will ever make you feel as warm as a wedding band.” -Marilyn vos Savant (born 1946): “Ask Marilyn” (25 September 2005)

“Dress shabbily and they remember the dress, dress impeccably and they remember the woman.” -Coco Chanel (Gabrielle Bonheur ‘Coco’ Chanel (1883 - 1971))

Joshua: Why was the well-dressed man picked for the job?
Ezekiel: He was ‘best-suited’ for it.

Marie de Medici, a member of that famous Italian family and a 17th-century queen of France, had expensive tastes in clothes. One of her dresses was outfitted with 39,000 tiny pearls and 3,000 diamonds, and cost the equivalent of $20 million at the time it was made, in 1606. She wore it just once.

“She wears her clothes as if they had been thrown on her with a pitchfork.” -Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745)

“You’re never fully dressed without a smile.” -Martin Charnin (born 1934)

“Dress for success. Image is very important. People judge you by the way you look on the outside.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

Question: What did the shoe say to the hat?
Answer: You go ‘on a-head,’ and I‘ll follow you ‘on foot.’

“What belts do is finish a look. Whether you’re wearing pants, jeans, a dress or skirt, a belt gives the outfit a finishing touch. It’s polished.” -Julie Helman

“Good clothes open all doors.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734)

You will always look simply smashing in properly chosen garments . . . much more to learn is coming up next . . . on MFOL!

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Creativity and Innovation

10/8/2021

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Picture of a human hand drawing and shading the letters that spell the word CREATE.

“Many people find creativity to be their most certain way to happiness.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun.” -Mary Lou Cook (1918 - 2013)

Bernard: What are you making?
Bernice: I’ll know when it’s done!

“A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is ultimately to be at peace with himself. What one can be, one must be.” -Abraham H. Maslow (Abraham Harold Maslow (1908 - 1970))

“I was created to create.” -Author Unknown

“To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.” -Joseph Chilton Pearce (1926 - 2016): “Magical Child” (1977)

“One supreme fact which I have discovered is that it is not willpower, but fantasy and imagination, that creates. Imagination is the creative force. Imagination creates reality.” -Richard Wagner (Wilhelm Richard Wagner (1813 - 1883))

“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine, and at last, you create what you will.” -George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

“A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (Antoine Marie Jean-Baptiste Roger (1900 - 1944))

Josh: Why are shovels regarded as the most innovative invention of all time?
Joseph: Because they are truly ground-breaking.

“Creativity is so delicate a flower that praise tends to make it bloom, while discouragement often nips it in the bud. Any of us will put more and better ideas if our efforts are appreciated.” -Alex F. Osborn (Alex Faickney Osborn (1888 - 1966))

“Great innovators and original thinkers and artists attract the wrath of mediocrities as lightning rods draw the flashes.” -Theodor Reik (1888 - 1969)

“Creativity takes courage.” -Henri Matisse (1869 - 1954)

“To create one’s own world in any of the arts takes courage.” -Georgia O’Keeffe (Georgia Totto O’Keeffe (1887 - 1986))

“It takes courage to be creative. Just as soon as you have a new idea, you are a minority of one.” -E. Paul Torrance (Ellis Paul Torrance (1915 - 2003))

“When you are completely absorbed or caught up in something, you become oblivious to things around you, or to the passage of time. It is this absorption in what you are doing that frees your unconscious and releases your creative imagination.” -Rollo May (1909 - 1994)

“Creativity gives the possibility of some sort of achievement to everyone.” -Edward de Bono -Edward de Bono (born 1933)

“A work is perfectly finished only when nothing can be added to it and nothing taken away.” -Joseph Joubert (1754 - 1824): as quoted in Paul Auster, translator: “The Notebooks of Joseph Joubert” (1883)

“Could Hamlet have been written by a committee, or the Mona Lisa painted by a club? Could the New Testament have been composed as a conference report? Creative ideas do not spring from groups. They spring from individuals. The divine spark leaps from the finger of God to the finger of Adam, whether it takes ultimate shape in a law of physics or a law of the land, a poem or a policy, a sonata or a mechanical computer.” -Alfred Whitney Griswold: address (9 June 1957) at Yale University, New Haven, Connecticut, United States of America

Picture of a messy table covered with containers holding paintbrushes of various sizes and stirring sticks, with splatters and spots of paint everywhere, inside an artist’s studio.

Overheard: I am creative. You can’t expect me to be neat, too!

“Creativity is seeing something that doesn’t exist already.” -Author Unknown

Put Something In

Draw a crazy picture,
     Write a nutty poem,
Sing a mumble-gumble song,
     Whistle through your comb.
Do a looney-gooney dance
     ’Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
     That ain’t been there before.

by Shel Silverstein (Sheldon Allan ‘Shel’ Silverstein (1930 - 1999))

“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” -Maya Angelou (born Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

“If you want to have good ideas you must have many ideas. Most of them will be wrong, and what you have to learn is which ones to throw away.” -Linus Pauling (Linus Carl Pauling (1901 - 1994))

“If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk.” -Raymond Inmon (Raymond Leon Inmon (1920 - 1999))

“All things are created twice. There’s a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation of all things. You have to make sure that the blueprint, the first creation, is really what you want, that you’ve thought everything through. Then you put it into bricks and mortar. Each day you go to the construction shed and pull out the blueprint to get marching orders for the day. You begin with the end in mind.” -Stephen Covey (Stephen Richards Covey (1932 - 2012))

“Creativity is the power to connect the seemingly unconnected.” -William Plomer

“Every important new idea, when it first appears, is ridiculed.” -Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860)

“In the modern world of business, it is useless to be a creative original thinker unless you can also sell what you create. Management cannot be expected to recognize a good idea unless it is presented to them by a good salesman.” -David M. Ogilvy (David Mackenzie Ogilvy (1911 - 1999))

“Ideas are funny things. They don’t work unless you do.” -Author Unknown

“Make every thought, every fact, that comes into your mind pay you a profit. Make it work and produce for you. Think of things not as they are but as they might be. Don’t merely dream - but create!” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“Creative thinking is no substitute for hard work.” -Author Unknown

“Creative people exhibit a continuous discontent with uniformity.” -Glenn Van Ekeren

“Only mediocrity can be trusted to be always at its best. Genius must always have lapses proportionate to its triumphs.” -Max Beerbohm (1872 - 1956): as quoted in the obituary of music-hall comic Dan Leno, published in the “Saturday Review” (5 November 1904)

“Listen to everyone, because good ideas can come from everywhere.” -Author Unknown

“There’s no shortage of remarkable ideas, what’s missing is the will to execute them.” -Seth Godin (born 1960)

“Creative ability is often mistakenly attributed to inborn talent. It is about all the ability to connect one thing with another.” -Corita Kent (Mary Corita ‘Corita’ Kent (born Frances Elizabeth Kent (1918 - 1986)))

“Creativity is a great motivator because it makes people interested in what they are doing.” -Edward de Bono -Edward de Bono (born 1933)

“Form follows function.” -Louis Henri Sullivan (1856 - 1924)

“The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas.” -Linus Pauling (Linus Carl Pauling (1901 - 1994))

“The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.” -C. G. Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961))

“Creativity is intelligence having fun.” -attributed to Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“Creative activity could be described as a type of learning process where teacher and pupil are located in the same individual.” -Arthur Koestler (1905 - 1983)

“The life of the creative man is lead, directed, and controlled by boredom. Avoiding boredom is one of our most important purposes.” -Saul Steinberg (1914 - 1999)

“You will hear people say that poverty is the best spur to the artist. They have never felt the iron of it in their flesh. They do not know how mean it makes you. It exposes you to endless humiliation, it cuts your wings, it eats into your soul like a cancer. It is not wealth one asks for, but just enough to preserve one’s dignity, to work unhampered, to be generous, frank, and independent. I pity with all my heart the artist, whether he writes or paints, who is entirely dependent for subsistence upon his art.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965))

“No man has the right to dictate what other men should perceive, create or produce, but all should be encouraged to reveal themselves, their perceptions and emotions, and to build confidence in the creative spirit.” -Ansel Adams (1902 - 1984)

Overheard: We’re having creative differences. I’m creative; you’re different.

“Creativity is essentially a lonely art. An even lonelier struggle. To some a blessing. To others a curse. It is in reality the ability to reach inside yourself and drag forth from your very soul an idea.” -Lou Dorfsman (Louis ‘Lou’ Dorfsman (1918 - 2008))

“Innovation is the central issue in economic prosperity.” -Michael Porter

“We hold these truths to be self-evident; All people are born creative; Endowed by our Creator with the inalienable right and responsibility to express our creativity for the sake of ourselves and our world.” -Barbara Marx Hubbard

“All men are not creative equally.” -John Solie

“Encouraged, we recognize the importance of living artistically, aesthetically, and creatively, as creative creatures of the creator.” -Edith Schaeffer (Edith Rachel Merritt Schaeffer also known as Mei Fuh (1914 - 2013)): “The Hidden Art of Homemaking: Creative Ideas for Enriching Everyday Life” (1972)

“Whatever creativity is, it is in part a solution to a problem.” -Brian Aldiss (Brian Wilson Aldiss (1925 - 2017))

“An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail.” -Edwin Land (Edwin Herbert Land (1909 - 1991)): as quoted in “A Genius and His Magic Camera,” published in “LIFE” magazine (27 October 1972); also in Mark Olshaker: “The Instant Image: Edwin Land and the Polaroid Experience” (1978), page 65

“Man is made to create, from the poet to the potter.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“There is no doubt that creativity is the most important human resource of all. Without creativity, there would be no progress, and we would be forever repeating the same patterns.” -Edward de Bono (born 1933)

“Creativity means believing you have greatness.” -Wayne Dyer (Wayne Walter Dyer (born 1940))

“If I have a thousand ideas and only one turns out to be good I am satisfied.” -Alfred Nobel

“Creativity is imagining possibilities and making them real.” -Marta Davidovich Ockuly (born 1952) at www.JoyOfQuotes.com

“Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blue print, and begin to build.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

This is MFOL! . . . keep thinking creatively . . . then build your creation . . .

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Faith and Belief

10/3/2021

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Picture of sunbeams brightly shining through a group of green leafy trees that have brown bark and a forest floor that is covered with brown fallen leaves.

I Believe

I believe in the Sun,
   even when it is not shining.
I believe in love,
   even when I do not feel it.
I believe in God,
   even when He is silent.

by Author Unknown: lines written on the wall of a cellar that had been a hiding place for persecuted Jews in Cologne, Germany during World War 2; the poem was discovered after the building had been destroyed by bombing

“Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we’ll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“To disbelieve is easy; to scoff is simple; to have faith is harder.” -Louis L’Amour (born Louis Dearborn LaMoore (1908 - 1988))

“I truly believe we can either see the connections, celebrate them, and express gratitude for our blessings, or we can see life as a string of coincidences that have no meaning or connection. For me, I’m going to believe in miracles, celebrate life, rejoice in the views of eternity, and hope my choices will create a positive ripple effect in the lives of others. This is my choice.” -Mike Ericksen

“Sometimes the only available transportation is a leap of faith.” -Margaret Shepard

“Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe.” -Mark Victor Hansen (born 1948)

“Faith does not make things easy. It makes them possible.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” Luke, chapter 1, verse 37

“To me faith means not worrying.” -John Dewey (1859 - 1952)

“Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, and faith looks up . . .” -Elizabeth Kenny (1880 - 1952)

“Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430))

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Faith

Doubt sees the obstacles,
     Faith sees the way.

Doubt sees the darkest night,
     Faith sees the day.

Doubt dreads to take a step,
     Faith soars on high.

Doubt questions, “Who believes?”
     Faith answers, “I.”

by Author Unknown

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“Faith has to do with things that are not seen, and hope with things that are not in hand.” -Thomas Aquinas (1225 - 1274)

“Start each day by saying to yourself, ‘I can do this.’ As you leave home, say to yourself, ‘I can do this.’ At each step along the way, say, ‘I can do this!’ You can, and you will, because you are an ‘I can do this’ kind of person with faith in yourself, and the knowing that ‘I can do this.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Let your faith be bigger than your fear.” -Author Unknown

“Faith never fails: it is a miracle worker. It looks beyond all boundaries, transcends all limitations, penetrates all obstacles, and sees the goal.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Faith is like a boomerang; begin using what you have and it comes back to you in greater measure.” -Charles L. Allen (Charles Livingstone Allen (1913 - 2005))

“Granted that faith cannot be proved, what harm will come to you if you gamble on its truth and it proves false? If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager, then, without hesitation, that He exists.” -Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662), commenting on belief in God (a quotation often referred to by persons other than its author as ‘Pascal’s Wager’)

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible” (King James Version (1611)), ‘Epistle to the Hebrews,’ chapter 11, verse 1

“Faith without works is like a bird without wings; though she may hop with her companions on Earth, yet she will never fly with them to Heaven.” -Francis Beaumont

“Faith plus action equals transformation.” -Charles F. Glassman: “Brain Drain: The Breakthrough That Will Change Your Life” (2009)

“Fear, too, is a type of faith - faith that it won’t work out.” -Mary Tricky (similar quotation attributed to Elizabeth David)

“If I didn’t have spiritual faith, I would be a pessimist. But I’m an optimist. I’ve read the last page in the Bible. It’s all going to turn out all right.” -Billy Graham (William Franklin ‘Billy’ Graham, Junior (born 1918))

“Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

“Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.” -William James (1842 - 1910): “Is Life Worth Living?” (1895)

“When I was younger, I thought that the key to success was just hard work. But the real foundation is faith. Faith - the idea that ‘I can do it’ - is the opposite of fear (‘What if I fail?’). And faith creates motivation, which in turn leads to commitment, hard work, preparation . . . and eventually success.” -Howard Twilley (born 1943)

“We are what we believe we are.” -C. S. Lewis (Clive Staples Lewis (1898 - 1963))

“A little fish, overhearing a fisherman remark that water is essential to life, became panicky and swam desperately in search of water, until it reached the ocean and asked a wise old fish where it could find water. The old timer laughed and said, ‘Why, you’ve never been out of water. You’ve had water all the time, but you didn’t know it.’ So it is with faith; you have it, it is with you. You simply have to realize and use it and it will grow.” -Author Unknown

“Never talk defeat. Use words like hope, belief, faith, victory.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Act like you are blessed. Talk like you are blessed. Walk like you are blessed. Put actions behind your faith and one day you will see it become a reality.” -Joel Osteen (born 1963)

“Treat the other man’s faith gently; it is all he has to believe with.” -Athenaeus of Naucratis (C.E. 170 - C.E. 223) (about C.E. 200)

“I could not say I believe. I know! I have had the experience of being gripped by something that is stronger than myself, something that people call God.” -Carl Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961))

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Faith

Faith . . .
Makes the outlook calm,
the uplook constant,
the inlook accurate.

Faith . . .
Makes yesterday a stepping stone,
today a new beginning
tomorrow a limitless possibility.

by Author Unknown

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“Faith is the hostess that will not entertain doubt.” -Jenna Wright

“Nor do I seek to understand that I may believe, but I believe that I may understand. For this too I believe, that unless I first believe, I shall not understand.” -Anselm of Canterbury (about 1033 - about 1109)

“We have no way to know anything for certain except by faith.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.” -Alex Hamilton (born 1936): “Born Old” radio broadcast, as quoted in the “Listener” (9 November 1978)

“Faith can reach beyond the limits of current reason.” -Rosemary M. Wixom

“Faith is the very first thing you should pack in a hope chest.” -Sarah Ban Breathnach

“I believe in the principle that I can make a difference in this world. It may be ever so small, but it will count for the greater good. The goodness of the world in which we live is the accumulated goodness of many small and seemingly inconsequential acts.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that thou mayest believe, but believe that thou mayest understand.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430)): “Ioannis Evangelium”

“Rarely do we find ourselves in circumstances in which we cannot choose for ourselves between faith and belief or doubt and uncertainty.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Just as a small fire is extinguished by the storm whereas a large fire is enhanced by it - likewise a weak faith is weakened by predicament and catastrophes whereas a strong faith is strengthened by them.” -Viktor Frankl (Viktor Emil Frankl (1905 - 1997))

“Faith is to believe what you do not yet see; the reward for this faith is to see what you believe.” -Augustine of Hippo (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430)

“It is good to dream, but it is better to dream and work. Faith is mighty, but action with faith is mightier. Desiring is helpful, but work and desire are invincible.” - Thomas Robert Gaines

“The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen.” -Frank Lloyd Wright (1867 - 1959)

“Believe there is a great power silently working all things for good, behave yourself, and never mind the rest.” -Beatrix Potter (Helen Beatrix Potter (1866 - 1943))

“Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he is.” -Author Unknown: attributed to Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) or Bhagavad Gita (about 500 B.C.E.)

“Fear imprisons, faith liberates; fear paralyzes, faith empowers; fear disheartens, faith encourages; fear sickens, faith heals; fear makes useless, faith makes serviceable.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969)

“In actual life every great enterprise begins with and takes its first forward step in faith.” -Friedrich von Schlegel (1772 - 1829)

“I feel for all faiths the warm sympathy of one who has come to learn that even the trust in reason is a precarious faith, and that we are all fragments of darkness groping for the Sun. I know no more about the ultimates than the simplest urchin in the streets.” -Will Durant (William James ‘Will’ Durant (1885 - 1981)): “The Story of Civilization” (1935 - 1975), volume 6, ‘The Reformation’ (1957), ‘Preface’

“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.” -Brené Brown (Casandra Brené Brown (born 1965))

Faith

When you walk to the edge of all the light you have
And you take the first step into the darkness of the unknown,
You must believe that one of two things will happen:
There will be something solid for you to stand upon,
Or you will be taught to fly.

by Patrick Overton (Patrick Miles Overton (born 1948)): “The Leaning Tree” (1 January 1975); type of work: collected poems by a single author in book form; author website: https://patrickoverton.com

“As the essence of courage is to stake one’s life on a possibility, so the essence of faith is to believe that the possibility exists.” -William Salter

“The question what to believe is perhaps the most momentous that anyone can put to himself. Our beliefs are not to be classed among the luxuries, but among the necessaries of existence.” -Felix Adler (1851 - 1933)

“The progress of mankind has always depended upon those who, seemingly isolated and powerless in their own day, have seen their vision and remained true to it. In the darkening corridors of time, they preserved integral their vision of the daylight at the end. This is a matter not of calculation but of faith. Our work may be small and its results invisible to us. But we may rest assured it will come to fruition in God’s good time.” -John Ferguson: “The Enthronement of Love”

“They are able because they think they are able.” -Vergil: “The Aeneid” (about 29 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.), verse 231; variously translated as “They can because they think they can.”

“Faith is an act of rational choice, which determines us to act as if certain things were true, and in the confident expectation that they will prove to be true.” -William R. Inge (William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954))

“Faith is the antidote for fear.” -Russell M. Nelson

“The abundance of courage came from an abundance of faith.” -Donald Trump (Donald John Trump (born 1946))

“Faith is courage; it is creative. Despair is always destructive.” -David S. Muzzey

“Believe in yourself. Believe in your capacity to do good and great things. Believe that no mountain is so high that you cannot climb it. Believe that no storm is so great that you cannot weather it. Believe in yourself.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“He does not believe, that does not live according to his Belief.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 1838

“It is a good thing to believe; it is a good thing to admire. By continually looking upwards, our minds will themselves grow upwards; as a man, by indulging in habits of scorn and contempt for others, is sure to descend to the level of those he despises.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875)

“If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

“The only thing that separates any one of us from excellence is fear, and the opposite of fear is faith.” -Michael J. Fox (pseudonym of Michael Andrew Fox (born 1961))

“Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe.” -Author Unknown

“It’s faith in something and enthusiasm for something that makes a life worth living.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Senior (1809 - 1894): “The Poet at the Breakfast Table” (1872)

“We always act, feel, and perform according to what we imagine and believe to be true, about ourselves and our surroundings.” -Author Unknown

“Our faith gives us knowledge of something better.” -E. F. Schumacher

We are MFOL! . . . be of good cheer and talk to the world of happiness . . .

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Changing and Adjusting

9/28/2021

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Picture of a happy smiling Sun looking down from the sky and the words, ‘Change Your Life, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’

“If you would like to change things in your life that seem too big to change all at once, could you be happy changing them a little at a time?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Any day we wish, we can start the process of life change.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“It is always safe to assume, not that the old way is wrong, but that there may be a better way.” -Henry F. Harrower

“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” -Steve Jobs (Steven Paul ‘Steve’ Jobs (1955 - 2011))

“Never assume that you’re stuck with the way things are. Life changes, and so can you.” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955)), author website www.GreatDay.com.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” -Margaret Mead (1901 - 1978): as quoted in the “Christian Science Monitor” (1 June 1989)

“It’s never too late to change your life.” -Author Unknown

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.” -Herbert Ottl

“The greatest discovery of my age is that men can change their circumstances by changing the attitude of their mind.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“The only thing certain is nothing is certain.” -Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)

“Times will change for the better when you change.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“Know what’s weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change, but pretty soon . . . everything’s different.” -Bill Watterson (Bill Watterson II (born 1958)): “Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes”; type of work: cartoon

“If we want things to stay as they are, things will have to change.” -Giuseppe Tomasi de Lampedusa (1896 -1957)

“People can change until they take their last breath.” -Alton R. Jorgenson

“Change is the only thing that will make things different.” -Author Unknown

“Much as we may wish to make a new beginning, some part of us resists doing so as though we were making the first step toward disaster.” -William Bridges (born 1934)

“If you want things to change, you have to change. If you want things to be better, you have to be better.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“There is nothing permanent except change.” -Heraclitus of Ephesus (544 B.C.E. - 483 B.C.E.) (513 B.C.E.)

“Change is not made without inconvenience, even from worse to better.” -Richard Hooker (1554 - 1600)

“To live is to change, and to be perfect is to have changed often.” -John Henry Newman (1801 - 1890): “The Development of Christian Doctrine” (1834)

“The only thing constant in life is change.” -Francois de La Rochefoucauld (François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680))

“Never be afraid to try something new - remember, it was amateurs who built the Ark and professionals who built the Titanic.” -Author Unknown

“Changes happen, and life gets worse and better, and life somehow goes on.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Change before you have to.” -Jack Welch (John Francis ‘Jack’ Welch, Junior (born 1935))

“Our wretched species is so made that those who walk on the well-trodden path always throw stones at those opening a new road.” -Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778)): as quoted in Ben Ray Redman, editor: “The Portable Voltaire” (1949)

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” -Mahatma Gandhi (Mohandas Karamchand ‘Mahatma’ Gandhi (1869 - 1948))

“Change is not merely necessary to life - it is life.” -Alvin Toffler (1928 - 2016)

“Only you can change your life. No one can do it for you.” -Author Unknown

“I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.” -Aldous Huxley (Aldous Leonard Huxley (1894 - 1963))

“Change is the only evidence of life.” -Evelyn Waugh (Arthur Evelyn Saint John Waugh (1903 - 1966))

“To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” -Henri Bergson (Henri-Louis ‘Henri’ Bergson (1859 - 1941))

To change one’s life:
Start immediately.
Do it flamboyantly.
No exceptions.
-William James (1842 - 1910)

“Change is not difficult, it is the resistance to change that is difficult.” -Author Unknown

“The nature o’* things doesn’t change, though it seems as if one’s own life was nothing but change. The square o’ four is sixteen, and you must lengthen your lever in proportion to your weight, is as true when a man’s miserable as when he’s happy; and the best o’ working is, it gives you a grip hold o’ things outside your own lot.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans (1819 - 1880)): “Adam Bede” (1859)
*o’: of

Picture of an orange, black, and white Monarch Butterfly surrounded by flowers with yellow centers, white petals, and dark green leaves and stems, and the words, ‘If Nothing Ever Changed, There Would Be No Butterflies.’

“The more things change the more they are the same.” -Alphonse Karr (Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr (1808 - 1890))

“Resolve to be a master of change rather than a victim of change.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“It is the greatest mistake to think that man is always one and the same. A man is never the same for long. He is continually changing. He seldom remains the same even for half an hour.” -Gurdjieff (1873 - 1949)

Affirmation: I want to change my life.

“In times of change, learners inherit the Earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)

“I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones.” -John Cage (John Milton Cage, Junior (1912 - 1992))

“I guess some people never change. Or, they quickly change and then quickly change back.” -Author Unknown

“They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.” -Confucius (a fifteenth-century Portuguese Jesuit scholars’ rendering of the Chinese name K’ung Fu-tzu or K’ung Ch’iu into Classical Latin (English: Master K’ung) (about 551 B.C.E. - about 479 B.C.E.))

“Change can be scary, but you know what’s scarier? Allowing fear to stop you from growing, evolving, and progressing.” -Mandy Hale

“All change is not growth; as all movement is not forward!” -Author Unknown

“Everyone alters and is altered by everyone else. We are all the time taking in portions of one another or else reacting against them, and by those involuntary acquisitions and repulsions modifying our natures.” -Gerald Brenan (1894 - 1987)

“Old ways won’t open new doors.” -Author Unknown

“We must all obey the great law of change. It is the most powerful law of nature, and the means perhaps of its conservation.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

“The art of life lies in a constant readjustment to our surroundings.” -Okakura Kakuzō (Okakura Tenshin (1862 - 1913)): “The Book of Tea” (1906)

“If you want to make enemies, try to change something.” -Woodrow Wilson (Thomas Woodrow ‘Woodrow’ Wilson (1856 - 1924))

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.” -Mandy Hale (born 1978)

“Sometimes we must make a choice, to take a chance, or our lives will never change.” -Author Unknown

“We may dig in our heels and dare life never to change, but, all the same, it changes under our feet like sand under the feet of a sea gazer as the tide runs out. Life is forever undermining us. Life is forever washing away our castles, reminding us that they were, after all, only sand and sea water.” -Erica Jong (born 1942): “Parachutes and Kisses”

“Our only security is our ability to change.” -John Lyly (1554 - 1606)

“The main dangers in this life are the people who want to change everything or nothing.” -Nancy Astor (1879 - 1964)

“Change is possible for everyone; consider the wolf, which preys upon sheep, and then examine the domestic dog derived from it, which protects sheep.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Everything is in motion. Everything flows. Everything is vibrating.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

“Change almost always represents improvement of the human condition. Constancy almost always represents stagnation. In any event, change is certain. There’s no point in complaining about it. Natural history teaches that survival in a changing world does not depend on physical strength or on high intelligence. Survival depends on the ability to change.” -Alex Sanders

Lucy: Do you think anybody ever really changes?
Linus: I’ve changed a lot in the last year.
Lucy: I mean for the better.
-Charles M. Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000)): “Peanuts” comic strip

“Things of this world are in so constant a flux, that nothing remains long in the same state.” -John Locke (1632 - 1704)

“All things are only transitory.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

“The world hates change yet it is the only thing that has brought progress.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“Once you make the decision to change, all kinds of things happen.” -Charles S. Dutton

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910))

“Change is difficult but often essential to survival.” -Lester Louis Brown

“To change your circumstances, first start thinking differently. Do not passively accept unsatisfactory circumstances, but form a picture in your mind of circumstances as they should be. Believe and succeed.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

“In all change, well looked into, the germinal good out-vails the apparent ill.” -Francis Thompson (1859 - 1907)

“Be okay with where you are, even if you know you want to change.” -Author Unknown

“Change is inevitable. Because it is driven by expanding knowledge and technology, it is accelerating at a speed never seen before.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Change is inevitable . . . except from vending machines.” -Author Unknown

“Nothing in the world is permanent, and we’re foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we’re still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)): “The Razor’s Edge” (1943)

“All is change; all yields its place and goes.” -Euripides (484 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” -Ed Foreman (born 1933)

“Turn over a new leaf.” -Thomas Dekker

“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” -Author Unknown

“If you want any part of your life changed, forget about what you’re going to do this year and begin with this moment.” -Author Unknown

“It only takes one person to change your life - you.” -Ruth Casey

“To the fearful, change is threatening because they worry that things may get worse. To the hopeful, change is encouraging because they feel things may get better.” -Buck Rogers

“Change your thoughts, and you change your world.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993): as quoted in Richard Shea, editor: “The Book of Success” (1993)

“Welcome change.” -Author Unknown

“There is yet time enough for you to take a different path.” -Author Unknown

“Too much consistency is as bad for the mind as for the body.” -Aldous Huxley (Aldous Leonard Huxley (1894 - 1963))

“Life is like an ever-changing kaleidoscope - a slight change, and all patterns alter.” -Sharon Salberg

“Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference.” -Author Unknown

“Someday change will be accepted as life itself.” -Shirley MacLaine (pseudonym of Shirley MacLean Beaty (born 1934))

This is MFOL! . . . for everyone who is striving to be well-adjusted in an ever-changing world . . .

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Dance and Dancing

9/22/2021

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Picture of a couple dressed in formal attire dancing.

“There are short-cuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them.” -Vicki Baum

“When you take dancing lessons, you learn steps and you learn steps and you learn steps. It can go on for a long time. And then one day, you just learn to dance, and it is so different.” -Bill Austin

“When dancing, if you get confused, just jump around and wave your arms.” -Author Unknown

“Dancing is the poetry of the foot.” -John Dryden (1631 - 1700)

A Tango dancer once decided to shine his dirty shoes by rubbing them against his trousers while dancing in a competition. Thinking that he was doing a dance move, other people started doing it . . . and that is the story of how the ‘Shine’ dance move began.

The Polka Dance

My cousin Nance came from France
   To teach me the Polka dance.
First the heels, then the toes,
   Yes, that’s the way the Polka goes.

by Author Unknown

“Put a little fun into your life. Try dancing.” -Kathryn Murray

“Socrates learned to dance when he was seventy because he felt that an essential part of himself had been neglected.” -Author Unknown

Hugh: Why is the new dance named ‘The Elevator’?
Grant: Because it has no steps!

“Learning to walk set you free. Learning to dance gives you the greatest freedom of all: to express your whole self, the person you are.” -Melissa Hayden (pseudonym of Mildred Herman (1923 - 2006))

We are the Dancers

We dance for laughter,
     We dance for tears,
We dance for madness,
     We dance for fears,
We dance for happiness,
     We dance for screams,
We are the dancers . . .
     We create the dreams!

by Author Unknown

“Every day I count wasted in which there has been no dancing.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“We are fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.” -Author Unknown

“I have no desire to prove anything by dancing. I have never used it as an outlet or as a means of expressing myself. I just dance.” -Fred Astaire (pseudonym of Frederick Austerlitz (1899 - 1987))

The Old Woman from France

There came an old woman from France
Who taught grown-up children to dance;
But they were so stiff,
She sent them home in a sniff,
This sprightly old woman from France.

by Author Unknown

“As soon as I hear music, something in me starts to vibrate.” -Suzanne Farrell

“‘On with the dance, let the joy be unconfined!’ is my motto, whether there’s any dance to dance or any joy to unconfine.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“We do not always dance because we are happy, but we dance and cannot help but become happy.” -Author Unknown

“Our classes are our practices. Our dance sneakers are our equipment. Our teacher is our coach. Our dance clothes are our jerseys. Our performances are our matches. Our audiences are our fans. Our concert is our tournament. The rhythm is our rule. Failure is our opponent; we will not lose. This is our game. This is our sport.” -Vala Yankovski

Esther: Why did the tap dancer retire?
Astaire: He kept falling in the sink.

“You don’t grow old and stop dancing; you stop dancing and grow old.” -Jessie M. Newburn

Some Actual Dance Names
- The Construction Worker
- The Fruit Bowl
- The Jay Walker
- The Lame Duck
- The Road Runner
- The Robot
- The Slip and Slide
- The Trampoline Dance
- The Trip and Fall
Can you think of other dances with zany names?

“Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.” -Dave Barry (David McAlister Barry (born 1947))

“You can dance anywhere, even if only in your heart.” -Author Unknown

Dance and Dancing Facts
- Moderate dancing burns 250 to 300 calories an hour.
- Somewhere someone is dancing even as you read these very words.
- Now it’s your turn - what do you know about dancing?

“We look at the dance to impart the sensation of living in an affirmation of life, to energize the spectator into keener awareness of the vigor, the mystery, the humor, the variety, and the wonder of life.” -Martha Graham

“All that music and only two feet.” -Author Unknown

“I will make an average man into an average dancer, provided he be passably well made. I will teach him how to move his arms and legs, to turn his head. I will give him steadiness, brilliancy, and speed; but I cannot endow him with that fire and intelligence, those graces and that expression of feeling which is the soul of true pantomime.” -Jean Georges Noverre

Picture of a young woman and a young man dancing and the words, ‘May I Have This Dance? Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net

“Dancing is poetry with arms and legs.” [translation to English]
“La danse, c’est la poésie avec des bras et des jambs.” [original French]
-Charles Baudelaire (Charles Pierre Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)): “La Fanfarlo” (1847)

“Dancing allows me to explore myself in so many ways, to learn about my limitations and strengths, my ability to cope with adversity and to go farther than I thought I could. You find out what you’re made of.” -Andrew Asnes

You need dance lessons right away - there’s no time to waste! Visit Fred Astaire Dance Studios at https://www.fredastaire.com/.

“Some people seem to think that good dancers are born, but all the good dancers I have known are taught or trained.” -Fred Astaire (pseudonym of Frederick Austerlitz (1899 - 1987))

Fae: Why did the rooster dance across the floor?
Phineas: To ask the hen to dance.

“Happiness is finding the right dance partner.” -Author Unknown

Types of Dances and Dance Styles
- Ballet
- Ballroom
- Couples
- Disco
- Irish Jig
- Line
- Polka
- Solo
- Square
- Tap
Can you think of other types of dances or dance styles?

“Enjoy the process of learning to dance. The process of our profession, and not its final achievement, is the heart and soul of dance.” -Jacques d’Amboise

“If you stumble, make it part of the dance.” -Author Unknown

“Dancing is moving to the music without stepping on anyone’s toes, pretty much the same as life.” -Robert Brault (born 1938)

“Some dance floors are so crowded you can’t tell who your partner is.” -Author Unknown

“It’s not magic! It’s physics. The speed of the turn is what keeps you upright.” -Deborah Bull

“Dance when you hear music.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I don’t want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance.” -George Balanchine (Georgy Melitonovich Balanchivadze)

“On dancing on pointe: Why don’t they just get taller girls?” -Henny Youngman (Henry ‘Henny’ Youngman (1906 - 1998))

“There are two ways of being creative. One can sing and dance. Or one can create an environment in which singers and dancers flourish.” -Mary Lou Cook (1918 - 2013)

“Dancing is the art of pulling your feet away faster than your partner can step on them.” -Author Unknown

“No sane man will dance.” -Marcus Tullius Cicero (also known as Tully or simply Cicero (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.))

“There is a bit of insanity in dancing that does everybody a great deal of good.” -Edwin Denby (Edwin Orr Denby (1903 - 1983))

“The Earth sets some music going in us and dance we must.” -Ludwig Boone

“You have to love dancing to stick to it. It gives you nothing back, no manuscripts to store away, no paintings to show on walls and maybe hang in museums, no poems to be printed and sold, nothing but that single fleeting moment when you feel alive.” -Merce Cunningham

“Why walk when you can dance?” -Author Unknown

“They who love dancing too much seem to have more brains in their feet than in their head.” -Publius Terentius Afer (also known simply as Terence (185 B.C.E. - 159 B.C.E.))

“Think of the magic of the foot, comparatively small, upon which your whole weight rests. It’s a miracle, and the dance . . . is a celebration of that miracle.” -Martha Graham

Joy: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Bliss: To get to the barn dance, of course!

“To dance is to live.” -John Milton (1608 - 1674): “L’Allegro” (1645)

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)

“In life, as in dance, grace glides on blistered feet.” -Alice Abrams

“I set as my goal to be the best dancer I could be. Not the most famous, or the highest paid dancer, just the best I could be. Out of this discipline came great freedom and calm.” -Suzanne Farrell

Chorophobia is a persistent fear dancing. Weddings, proms, and parties may pose problems for those who suffer from a fear of dancing. Try singing instead . . . la, la, la, la! Everybody can do something, right? Okay, maybe whistling? Counting on your fingers and toes?

“Everything in the Universe has rhythm - everything dances.” -Maya Angelou

“Dancers have a very hard job. We must take our ugly, callused, blistered, and bruised feet and present them in a way so that they are mistaken as the most beautiful things on Earth.” -Author Unknown

“Thousands of emotions well up inside me throughout the day. They are released when I dance.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“. . . those move easiest who have learn’d to dance.” -Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744)

“I found that dance was key to keeping depression out of my life. When you dance, things just go away, things don’t seem so bad. There’s no better way to take care of health than through something as joyous and beautiful as dance.” -Patrick Swayze (Patrick Wayne Swayze (1952 - 2009))

“Dance is the only art in which we ourselves are the stuff of which it is made.” -Ted Shawn

“Dance isn’t just about fancy footwork. It requires grace, discipline, and major muscles.” -Author Unknown

You may have noticed this article does not specifically mention Ballet Dancing, but only hints at it ever so slightly - and that is because the topic will be covered in another article . . . on MFOL!

“When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way.” -Wayne Dyer (Wayne Walter Dyer (born 1940))

“Dancing is silent poetry.” -Simonides

“I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.” -Mikhail Baryshnikov (Mikhail Nikolayevich Baryshnikov( born 1948))

“On the dance floor, as in life, you’re only as good as your partner.” -Robin Marantz Henig

“If you think dancers aren’t athletes, think again.” -Author Unknown

Old Lady of France

There was an old lady of France,
Who taught little ducklings to dance;
When she said, “Tick-a-tack!” -
They only said, “Quack!”
Which grieved that old lady of France.

by Edward Lear

“Dancing is like life: it’s good to have a plan, but be prepared to improvise.” -Author Unknown

“When you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.” -Lee Ann Womack

“Life is a dance, from one stage to the next.” -Author Unknown

“Let us dance in the sun, wearing wild flowers in our hair . . .” -Susan Polis Shutz (born 1944 as Susan Polis)

Overheard: Do you hear that? That music means I have to dance!

Now we make our way with fancy footwork to the next article . . . on MFOL!

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Self-Concept and Self-Identity

9/15/2021

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Picture of an orange Tabby Cat kitten looking into a pool of water and seeing its reflection as a lion.

Who can that be . . .

“I wish I knew who I am.” -Sarah Zettel (born 1966): “Dust Girl” (2012); author website http://www.sarahzettel.com/

“You are what you believe yourself to be.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

“We have all been placed on this Earth to discover our own path, and we will never be happy if we live someone else’s idea of life.” -James Van Praagh (born 1958)

“Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?” -Danielle LaPorte (born 1969)

“I am a person before I am anything else. I never say I am a writer. I never say I am an artist . . . I am a person who does those things.” -Edward Gorey (Edward St. John Gorey (1925 - 2000))

“You were born an original work of art. Stay original.” -Suzy Kassem (born 1975)

People travel to wonder at the height of mountains,
at the huge waves of the sea,
at the long courses of rivers,
at the vast compass of the ocean,
at the circular motion of the stars;
and they pass by themselves without wondering.
-Augustine of Hippo (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430)

“Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.” -Harvey Fierstein (Harvey Forbes Fierstein (born 1952))

“Know thyself? If I knew myself I would run away.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“You have to be brave to be yourself.” -Author Unknown

“One of the most courageous things you can do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in, and where you want to go.” -Sheila Murray Bethel (born 1965)

“Looking for who I am is who I am.” -Tom Spanbauer (born 1946): “The Man Who Fell in Love with the Moon” (1991)

“The hardest battle you’re ever going to fight is the battle to be just you.” -Leo F. Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.” -Dr. Seuss (pseudonym of Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 - 1991))

“Are you what others say and think you are? Or are you who you are regardless of what others say and think?” -Richelle E. Goodrich (Richelle Elaine Goodrich (born 1968)): “Smile Anyway: Quotes, Verse, and Grumblings for Every Day of the Year” (23 June 2015)

“You are the stories and incidents that you never tell to anyone. You are the thoughts that you get while standing under the shower. You are those memories that won’t let you sleep at night peacefully. You are those words that you will never say while speaking with someone. You are those scars that you always hide from everyone. You are those little secrets that you will never let the world know. You are everything that you hide under the identity that you call the real you.” -Akshay Vasu; author website https://akshayvasu.com/

“Be yourself, but always your better self.” -Karl G. Maeser

“How shall we learn to know ourselves? By reflections? Never; but only through action. Strive to do thy duty; then shalt thou know what is in thee.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“We don’t know who we are until we see what we can do.” -Martha Grimes (born 1931)

“We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us.” -Virginia Satir (Virginia Pagenkopf Satir (1916 - 1988))

“We know what we are, but know not what we may be.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Hamlet” (1600 - 1601), Act iv, Scene 5, Line 43

“Our sense of identity is in large measure conferred on us by others in the ways they treat or mistreat us, recognize or ignore us, praise us or punish us. Some people make us timid and shy . . . In some groups we are made leaders, while in others we are reduced to being followers . . . Without realizing it, we often behave in ways that confirm the beliefs others have about us. Those subjective beliefs create new realities for us. We often become who other people think we are, in their eyes and in our behavior.” -Philip G. Zimbardo: “The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil” (2007)

“What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates his fate.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“Act as if you are the person you want to be.” -Bernie Siegel

“You, being yourself, unknowingly inspire others to be themselves.” -Mooji

“Don’t let other people tell you who you are.” -Diane Sawyer (Lila Diane Sawyer (born 1945))

“Regard not so much what the World thinks of thee, as what thou thinkest of thyself.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734)

“Look to see what you are doing today. Is this how you choose to define yourself?” -Neale Donald Walsch (born 1943)

“You can’t let other people tell you who you are. You have to decide that for yourself.” -Author Unknown

“Resolve to be thyself; and know that he who finds himself, loses his misery.” -Matthew Arnold (1822 - 1888)

“The value of identity of course is that so often with it comes purpose.” -Richard Grant (Richard E. Grant (born 1957 as Richard Grant Esterhuysen)) at https://www.richard-e-grant.com/

“Never sacrifice who you are just because someone else has a problem with it.” -Author Unknown

“It is the individual who knows how little he knows about himself who stands a reasonable chance of finding out something about himself.” -S. I. Hayakawa (Samuel Ichiye Hayakawa (1906 - 1992))

“Self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“The opinion which other people have of you is their problem, not yours.” -Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1926 - 2004)

“If we have no identity apart from our jobs, we are truly vulnerable.” -Dan Miller: “The Rudder of the Day: Stories & Wisdom to Kick Start Your Workday” (2003); author website https://www.48days.com/

“Focus on what you are, not on what you are not.” -Author Unknown

“We are all apt to believe what the world believes about us.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans (1819 - 1880))

“Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.” -Doris Mortman (born 1944)

“How hurtful it can be to deny one’s true self and live a life of lies just to appease others.” -June Ahern; author website http://www.juneahern.com/

“Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“What people think about you is not important. What you think about yourself means everything.” -Author Unknown

“Self-respect is the noblest garment with which a man can clothe himself, the most elevating feeling with which the mind can be inspired.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“What others think of us would be of little moment did it not, when known, so deeply tinge what we think of ourselves.” -Paul Valéry (Ambroise Paul Toussaint Jules ‘Paul’ Valéry (1871 - 1945))

“What we truly and earnestly aspire to be, that in some sense we are. The mere aspiration, by changing the frame of the mind, for the moment realizes itself.” -Anna Jameson (Anna Brownell Jameson (1794 - 1860))

“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.” -Shannon L. Alder at https://www.shannonalder.com/

“Be faithful to that which exists within yourself.” -André Gide (André Paul Guillaume Gide (1869 - 1951))

“Don’t accept that others know you better than yourself.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Finding oneself was a misnomer; a self is not found but made.” -Jacques Barzun (Jacques Martin Barzun (1907 - 2012)): “From Dawn to Decadence: 500 Years of Western Cultural Life” (2000)

“Defining myself, as opposed to being defined by others, is one of the most difficult challenges I face.” -Carol Mosely-Braun (Carol Elizabeth Moseley Braun (born 1947))

“By all resources realize yourself . . . Fetters fall off of themselves when the knowledge of self is gained.” -A. L. Linall, Junior

“When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.” -Ralph Ellison (Ralph Waldo Ellison (1913 - 1994)): “Invisible Man” (14 April 1952), chapter 11

“I am a free human being with an independent will.” -Charlotte Brontë (1816 - 1855): “Jane Eyre” (16 October 1847)

“Be not another, if you can be yourself.” -Paracelsus (born Phillip von Hohenheim, later adopting the name Philippus Theophrastus Aureolus Bombastus von Hohenheim (1493 - 1541))

“Knowing who you are and who you can become impacts how you view your options for the future.” -Emily Grabatin: “Dare to Decide: Discovering Peace, Clarity and Courage at Life’s Crossroads” (17 July 2020); author website https://www.emilygrabatin.ca/

“You shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.” -Author Unknown

“So who do I want to be tomorrow?” -Paula Hawkins (born 1972): “The Girl on the Train” (6 January 2015)

“So far as other people are concerned, you are your behavior. So far as you are concerned, you are your feelings.” -Peter Honey (born 1937) at https://peterhoney.org/

“This above all: to thine own self be true.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Hamlet” (1600 - 1601), line 78; words spoken by fictional character Polonius

“Someone else’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945))

“Never allow yourself to be defined by someone else’s opinion of you.” -Author Unknown

“Be yourself. Who else is better qualified?” -Frank J. Giblin, II: as quoted in “Reader’s Digest”

“If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Life isn’t always about finding yourself. More often than not, it’s about discovering who God created you to be.” -David A. R. White (David Andrew Roy White (born 1970)): “Between Heaven and Hollywood: Chasing Your God-Given Dream” (25 October 2016)

“You are what you are and not what people think you are.” -O. W. Polen (Olly W. Polen (1920 - 2010))

“The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.” -Neil Gaiman (Neil Richard MacKinnon Gaiman (born 1960 as Neil Richard Gaiman)): keynote address (17 May 2012) at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States of America

“Maybe you are what you can’t not be.” -John Green (John Michael Green (born 1977)): “Turtles All the Way Down” (10 October 2017)

“We would be wise to remember that the world’s definition of us will always diminish God’s design within us.” -Craig D. Lounsbrough (born 1959) at https://www.craiglpc.com/

“Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, ‘This is the real me,’ and when you have found that attitude, follow it.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“When you stop living your life based on what others think of you, real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self-acceptance opened.” -Shannon L. Alder at https://www.shannonalder.com/

“Follow your own star!” -Dante Alighieri

This is MFOL! . . . where you decide who you are . . . and then if you like, keep everyone else guessing . . .

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UFO’s and Extraterrestrials

9/7/2021

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Picture of a night sky with a flying-saucer shaped UFO passing in front of the Earth’s Moon.

“We come in peace.” -Unidentified Extraterrestrial

“Innumerable Suns exist; innumerable Earths revolve around these Suns in a manner similar to the way the seven planets revolve around our Sun. Living beings inhabit these worlds.” -Giordano Bruno (born as Filippo Bruno (1548 - 1600)): “On the Infinite Universe and Worlds” (1584)

“Take me to your leader.” -Unidentified Extraterrestrial

Eddy: What did the metric alien say?
Freddy: “Take me to your liter.”

Scientists have yet to discover a sign of extraterrestrial life, but the discovery of planets outside of our solar system, having what is believed to be life-sustaining matter and supposedly habitable climates, is claimed to be a promising possible indication of life beyond Earth.

It Came from Outer Space

There was a Martian named Zed
With antennae all over his head.
He sent out a lot
Of di-di-dash-dot,
But nobody knows what he said.

by John Ciardi (John Anthony Ciardi (1916 - 1986))

“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the Universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.” -Bill Watterson (Bill Watterson II (born 1958))

Bernice: What are the slowest space monsters?
Bernard: Snailiens!

Extra = beyond. Terrestrial = Earth. Extraterrestrial = beyond Earth.

Picture of a humanoid extraterrestrial, or space alien, walking through an underground stormwater runoff conduit.

If the United States government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on 16 July 1969, make it illegal for American citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

“Personally, I don’t think there’s intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?” -Bob Monkhouse (Robert Alan ‘Bob’ Monkhouse (1928 - 2003))

Otis: Where do alien fish swim?
Otto: In the Galax Sea. (galaxy)

Two outer space aliens stopped to look at a parking meter. One of them picked up a quarter from the ground, and after a little trial and error, inserted the quarter into the meter. When she saw the needle on the dial move, she said to her companion, “How about that? I weigh an hour.”

Hans: What did the space alien cook for breakfast?
Hansel: An Unidentified Frying Object (UFO).

The Alien

The alien
     Was as round as the Moon.
Five legs he had
     And his ears played a tune.
His hair was pink
     And his knees were green,
He was the funniest thing I’d seen
     As he danced in the door
Of his strange spacecraft,
     He looked at me -
And laughed and laughed!

by Julie Holder

Picture of a disc-shaped UFO, or Unidentified Flying Object, in what appears to be an abandoned aircraft hangar.

Curiously, now that so many people have cell phones with built-in cameras, claims of Unidentified Flying Objects sightings have dropped to nearly zero. You would think that just the opposite would be the case if UFO’s were real.

Pam: Have you ever noticed that space aliens have no noses?
Sam: Really? How do they smell?
Pam: Terrible!

“I think that it is much more likely that the reports of flying saucers are the results of the known irrational characteristics of terrestrial intelligence than of the unknown rational efforts of extra-terrestrial intelligence.” -Richard Feynman (Richard Phillips Feynman (1918 - 1988))

Ella: If you run into a three-headed alien, what should you say?
Ellie: “Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye!”

Autogeddon

If an alien were to hover a few
     Hundred yards above the planet
It could be forgiven for thinking
     That cars were the dominant life form,
And that human beings were a kind of
     Ambulatory fuel cell:
Injected when the car wished to move off,
     And ejected when they were spent.

by Heathcote Williams (1988)

“Klaatu barada nikto!” -Author Unknown: “The Day the Earth Stood Still,” line of fictional character Helen Benson (portrayed by actor Patricia Neal)

“Sometimes I think we’re alone in the Universe, and sometimes I think we’re not. In either case the idea is quite staggering.” -Arthur C. Clarke (Arthur Charles Clarke (1917 - 2008))

Greta: What kind of music do aliens listen to in their spaceships?
Gretchen: Neptunes!

Concept depiction of a commercially-operated disk-shaped saucer that would be flown as an alternative to commercial fixed-wing passenger jet aircraft.

Overheard: Are you from outer space . . . or just from out of town?

The shocking truth: Extraterrestrials and their spacecraft, commonly called UFO’s, possibly have never visited Earth and may not even exist. The entire space aliens and alien spacecraft idea was a propaganda campaign created by the government of the United States of America around the end of World War 2, and continued over the next several years. It was an attempt to gain a psychological edge over the former Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (U.S.S.R.) and to provide a cover story to civilians when experimental aircraft crashed, as both sides raced to reach supremacy during the Cold War Era. The technologies that now allow us to have cell phones, computers, and other comparatively recent and stunning advances, are not reverse-engineered from alien technologies, but have been created entirely by our fellow human beings.

“There are many intelligent species in the Universe. They are all owned by cats.” -Author Unknown

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In 1967, former United States Navy aviator and aviation writer Jack D. Pickett and his business partner Harold Baker visited MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa, Florida to gather information for an Air Force-sponsored article on historical experimental aircraft. At the edge of the base, they were shown four decommissioned X-planes - all of them flying discs - measuring 20, 40, 70, and 116 feet in diameter.

Through interviews with various base personnel, Pickett and Baker concluded that, during the 1950s, the USAF had developed several models of jet-powered flying discs for reconnaissance flights over the Soviet Union. The discs had supersonic capabilities and had, on occasion, reached heights that approached the edge of space (50 miles). Many disc flights - particularly those of the highly successful 40-foot version - were no doubt responsible for many “Flying Saucer” reports during the period. By the early 1960s, all had been retired in favor of more advanced aircraft.

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Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Space alien.
Space alien, who?
Just how many space aliens do you know?

Two pictures of a saucer-shaped aircraft as developed by the United States Air Force for military purposes.

The images shown above are how a United States Air Force Lenticular Reentry Vehicle might have looked. Some information on the experimental flying disk program was declassified in 1997, but none of the original aircraft are known to still exist. The flying disks had problems with flight stability and suffered from a high crash rate, so the American government ultimately chose to use more reliable conventional fixed-wing aircraft designs similar to what are in use today. However, the LRV’s were real aircraft, conceptually designed to operate as re-entry vehicles at high altitudes and in near-space, for reconnaissance (spying) and deploying special (nuclear) weapons. Casual observers who spotted these craft in the sky above them decades ago might have imagined they were seeing flying saucers from outer space that were filled with space aliens.

An alien spaceship was running low on fuel, so it landed at a gas station in the middle of the desert near area 51. On one side were printed the letters ‘UFO.’ The station attendant was completely stunned as he came out to see what was going on. Pointing to the side of the craft, he asked, “I’ll bet that stands for ‘Unidentified Flying Object,’ right?” “Nope,” said one of the aliens. “It stands for ‘Unleaded Fuel Only’.”

Experimental aircraft and other seemingly odd things can be seen in the sky from time to time. What does it mean? Inventors, governments, and other folks are simply going about their usual activities, which includes trying out new ideas.

First Space Alien: Is there somewhere around here where I can wash up?
Second Space Alien: Sure, just keep going straight ahead until you come to the meteor showers.

While the fantasy that beings or entities from other places in the Universe would build spaceships and fly them all the way to Earth might be momentarily fascinating, it might not be the best long-term idea to have as one’s life focus. Planting orchards, teaching Sunday school, learning and using good manners, building furniture, raising children, starting a business, or any of an endless number of other activities, all can yield greater rewards and a richer life than obsessing over the remote possibility of the existence of extraterrestrials and UFO’s. Use your imagination to help you create real things and real results; do not allow fantasies to become your entire life. The risk of living in fantasy is that a person can come to his or her senses at the end of a lifetime having never had anything that was real.

Elsa: What did the alien say when he walked into his spaceship?
Elsie: “Ouch!”

We can all still watch and enjoy movies about pretend space aliens and pretend people, and we can all still have fun in life, but we must not lose our focus on the real world, in which we live every moment.

Cosmo: On what kind of plates do space aliens serve their food?
Astoria: Flying saucers!

So, just what is the truth about extraterrestrials and UFO’s? Our conclusion is that alien spacecraft and space aliens have never visited Earth, given the lack of any real evidence, but every person is free to believe as he or she chooses.

Picture of a human-made monument of a disc-shaped UFO, or Unidentified Flying Object, in a public park in Mars, Pennsylvania, United States of America.

Spaceship landmark in Mars, Pennsylvania, United States of America . . . oddly, the aliens were nowhere to be found . . .

“What is the name of your spaceship?” we asked. “We call it our ‘Imagination,’” the alien said.

Further fantastic fun follows . . . on MFOL!

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Knock-Knock Jokes

9/4/2021

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Picture of a squirrel peering in from outside of a glass door as if seeking entry.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin, who?
Justin the neighborhood and thought I would say hello!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange, who?
Orange you glad I came by?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Honeybee.
Honeybee, who?
Honeybee a deer and open the door, please.

Knock, knock.
Who’s -
Interrupting cow - moo-oo-oo!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
A bee.
A bee, who?
A bee, c, d, e, f, g . . .

Knock, knock!
It’s open - come on in!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wendy.
Wendy, who?
Wendy red, red robin come bob, bob, bobbin’ along . . .

“Trouble knocked on the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.” -Benjamin Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790))

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alice.
Alice, who?
Alice forgiven, please come home.

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry, who?
Harry up and let me in!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tyrone!
Tyrone, who?
Tyrone shoelaces!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Isabelle.
Isabelle, who?
Isabelle necessary on the door?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nobel.
Nobel, who?
No bell, that’s why I knocked.

Picture of manual doorbell that consists of a pull from outside a front door connected to a wire that shakes a brass bell inside the house, causing the clapper or metal piece inside the bell to strike the housing or shell of the bell and make sound. No electricity is involved.

The ‘doorbell’ was at one time a real bell, either mounted on the outside of a building next to a door or inside a building with one end of a cord tied to it and the other end of the cord fed through a hole near the door; a visitor would shake the bell or pull the cord to announce him or herself. While the first electric doorbell was invented by Joseph Henry in 1831, knocking on the door or doorframe with one’s knuckles still remains the most common method of announcing oneself. And, of course, when a door is open or there is no door, the holler often seems to work well enough.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Danielle.
Danielle, who?
Danielle so loud, I can hear you!

Sign: Doorbell Broken. Please Knock Or Shout ‘Ding-Dong’ Really Loud.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The electrician who has come to fix your broken doorbell.

Text your friend: “I’ve got a great knock-knock joke. Want to hear it?” When he or she texts back, “Yes,” reply, “Okay, you start.”

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice, who?
Candice be the last knock, knock joke?
Well, we all know the answer to that - not likely!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Egg.
Egg, who?
Egg-cited to see me?

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock . . .
Now hang on a minute! Who’s there?
Charlie the Centipede.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Eileen.
Eileen, who?
Eileen this way, Eileen that way.

National Knock-Knock Day is on 31 October of each year - wait, isn’t that Halloween Day? Why would anyone want to knock on a door on Halloween?

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Doughnut.
Doughnut, who?
Doughnut open the door - there are monsters everywhere!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gladys.
Gladys, who?
Gladys you and not another monster!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
A little child who can’t reach the doorbell!

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Octopus!

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Value.
Value, who?
Value be my Valentine?

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Mary Lee
Mary Lee, who?
Mary Lee we roll along.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Mary Lee.
Mary Lee, who?
Mary Lee, Mary Lee down the stream.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pasture.
Pasture, who?
Pasture bedtime, isn’t it?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nobody!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Just a minute, and I’ll see.

Picture of a red door with brass door knocker that has a lion’s face image on it.

Doorknockers are typically made of iron, steel, or brass, and are raised and struck against a metal piece on a door to make a noise that lets someone inside know that a visitor is waiting outside.

Molly: What did the inventor of the door-knocker win?
Dolly: The ‘no bell’ prize!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there!
Luke!
Luke, who?
Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Water.
Water, who?
Water we waiting for? Let’s get on to the next knock-knock joke!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dakota.
Dakota, who?
Dakota fits fine, but the trousers are too long.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Zeke.
Zeke, who?
Zeke and ye shall find . . .

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Woo.
Woo, who?
You sure do get excited about knock-knock jokes!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gouda.
Gouda, who?
Gouda see you again!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie, who?
Annie body home?

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Jess.
Jess, who?
Jess me and my shadow.

TSFTPOKKJ: The Society for the Proliferation of Knock-Knock Jokes.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who, who?
Is there an owl in here?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Love.
Love, who?
Love you!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ike.
Ike, who?
Ike can’t stop laughing!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tank!
Tank, who?
You’re welcome!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash, who?
No, thanks; I prefer peanuts.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Adore.
Adore, who?
Adore is all that stands between us, my sweet!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Patty O.
Patty O, who?
Patty O’Furniture!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
House
House, who?
House it going?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben, who?
Ben ringing your doorbell for a while now.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Shirley!
Shirley, who?
Shirley you must know me by now!

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Doris.
Doris, who?
Doris locked, so I had to knock!

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Waiter.
Waiter, who?
Waiter minute while I tie my shoelaces.

We are MFOL! . . . and our knuckles are really sore from knocking on so many doors, so an entirely different article is coming up next . . .

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Mistakes and Errors

8/30/2021

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Picture of a sharpened writing pencil with a pink eraser in it end

“No one is perfect - that’s why pencils have erasers.” -Wolfgang Riebe: “100 Quotes to Make You Think” (28 February 2011)

Charles: How can one person makes so many mistakes in a single day?
Chuck: I get up early.

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You are doing things you have never done before, and more importantly, you are doing something. So that is my wish for you, and all of us. And my wish for myself. Make new mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody has ever made before. Do not freeze, do not stop, do not worry that it is not good enough, or it is not perfect, whatever it is. Art, or love, or work, or family, or life. Whatever it is you are scared of doing, do it. Make your mistakes. Next year and forever and ever.” -Neil Gaiman (Neil Richard MacKinnon Gaiman (born 1960))

“Mistakes are proof that you are trying.” -Author Unknown

“People seldom make the same mistake twice - usually it is ten or more times that they do so!” -Author Unknown

We are human.
We are not perfect.
We are alive.
We try things.
We make mistakes.
We stumble. We fall.
We get hurt. We rise again.
We try again.
We keep learning.
We keep growing.
And we are thankful
for this priceless
opportunity called life.
-Author Unknown

“From the errors of others, a wise man corrects his own.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“Making mistakes does not make you unworthy of love - it makes you human.” -Author Unknown

A Mistake

A mistake that I made said, “My Dear,
I’m dreadfully sorry I’m here,
But my feet are so big,
And my nails cut and dig,
So I’ll be here for a while, I fear.”

by Author Unknown

“A mistake shows that someone tried to do something.” -Author Unknown

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes and I don’t regret any of them. Sometimes that’s the only way you learn.” -Nick Nolte (Nicholas King ‘Nick’ Nolte (born 1941))

“What do you first do when you learn to swim? You make mistakes, do you not? And what happens? You make other mistakes, and when you have made all the mistakes you possibly can without drowning - and some of them many times over - what do you find? That you can swim? Well - life is just the same as learning to swim! Do not be afraid of making mistakes, for there is no other way of learning how to live!” -Alfred Adler (1870 - 1937)

“We all make mistakes, but everyone makes different mistakes.” -Ludwig van Beethoven (1770 - 1827)

“Remember your past mistakes just long enough to profit by them.” -Clinton D. McKinnon (Clinton Dotson McKinnon (1906 - 2001))

“Even monkeys fall from trees.” [translation to English]
“Saru mo ki kara ochiru.” [original Japanese in English characters]
猿も木から落ちる [original Japanese]
-Author Unknown: Japanese proverb

“Life is very interesting, if you make mistakes.” -Georges Carpentier (1894 - 1975)

“My friend Danny Breslin from Florida tells the story of two men who were sitting on a bench in London’s Hyde Park. They wanted to go shopping in Oxford Street. One of them got up and started walking in the wrong direction, but he asked the way and a passerby put him right. He finally arrived at the shops but the other man just stayed on the bench. That guy who was walking in the wrong direction was on his way. Even his mistakes were part of getting there. The guy on the bench got nowhere. So if it feels right, give it a whirl, says Danny.” -Celia Haddon (born 1945)

“Your past mistakes are meant to guide you, not define you.” -Author Unknown

“We learn to walk by stumbling.” -Author Unknown: Bulgarian proverb

“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand-in-hand.” -Emily Kimbrough (1899 - 1989)

“Even if you stumble, you’re still moving forward.” -Author Unknown

“The wisest of the wise may err.” -Aeschylus (about 525 B.C.E. - about 456 B.C.E.)

“My life is full of mistakes. They’re like pebbles that make a good road.” -Beatrice Wood (1893 - 1998)

“In school we learn that mistakes are bad, and we are punished for making them. Yet if you look at the way humans are designed to learn, we learn by making mistakes. We learn to walk by falling down. If we never fell down, we would never walk.” -Robert T. Kiyosaki (Robert Toru Kiyosaki (born 1947))

“A mistake is a lesson on its way to being learned.” -Robert Orben (born 1927)

“Mistakes are just steps, sometimes necessary, in the learning process.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“When you make a mistake, don’t look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.” -Hugh L. White (Hugh Lawson White (1773 - 1840)): as quoted in Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894), editor: “The New Dictionary of Thoughts” (1927)

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)): “The Note Book of Elbert Hubbard” (1927)

“One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.” -Author Unknown

You may have noticed a large number of mistakes and errors on the Make Fun Of Life! Website. We have made them deliberately, for the benefit of the people who enjoy pointing out mistakes . . . because we want everyone to be happy!

“You make mistakes. Mistakes don’t make you.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“If you’re not making mistakes then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes.” -John Wooden (John Robert Wooden (1910 - 2010))

“Don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones.” -Author Unknown

“Only some of us learn by other people’s mistakes; the rest of us have to be the other people.” -Author Unknown

“To avoid situations in which you might make mistakes may be the biggest mistake of all.” -Peter McWilliams (Peter Alexander McWilliams (1949 - 2000))

“Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don’t look back at it too long. Mistakes are life’s way of teaching you.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“One mistake does not have to rule a person’s entire life.” -Joyce Meyer (born 1943 as Pauline Joyce Hutchison): “Any Minute” (30 June 2009)

“Mistakes are the portals of discovery.” -James Joyce (1882 - 1941)

“Just because you made a mistake doesn’t mean you are a mistake.” -Georgette Mosbacher (born 1947)

“Mistakes are the usual bridge between inexperience and wisdom.” -Phyllis Theroux (Phyllis Grissim-Theroux (born 1939))

“We’ve all heard that we have to learn from our mistakes, but I think it’s more important to learn from successes. If you learn only from your mistakes, you are inclined to learn only errors.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Making mistakes does not mean you’re a failure. It just means you’re trying and learning in life.” -Author Unknown

“If you must make a mistake, make a new one each time.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnegey (1888 - 1955)))
[Dale Carnegie]

“You are making progress if each mistake you make is a new one.” -Author Unknown

“After all these years, I am still involved in the process of self-discovery. It’s better to explore life and make mistakes than to play it safe. Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life.” -Sophia Loren (pseudonym of Sophia Sciccoloni (born 1934))

“I’ve learned from my mistakes; I can repeat them exactly.” -Peter Cook (Peter Edward Cook (1937 - 1995)) and Dudley Moore (Dudley Stuart John Moore (1935 - 2002))

“Show us a man who never makes a mistake and we will show a man who never makes anything. The capacity for occasional blundering is inseparable from the capacity to bring things to pass.” -Herman Lincoln Wayland (1830 - 1898)

“We don’t make mistakes. We just have learnings.” -Anne Wilson Schaef (born 1934)

“No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road, turn back.” -Author Unknown: Turkish proverb

“Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to the error that counts.” -Nikki Giovanni (Yolande Cornelia ‘Nikki’ Giovanni, Junior (born 1943))

“I would rather surround myself with people who make a lot of mistakes and have no problem admitting them, than to surround myself with people who think they make none.” -Author Unknown

“The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnegey (1888 - 1955)))

“I’ve failed over and over again in my life, and that is why I succeed.” -Michael Jordan (born 1963)

“The main thing we learn from our mistakes . . . is that we make a lot of them.” -Author Unknown

“While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior.” -Henry C. Link (Henry Charles Link (1889 - 1952))

“There is hardly a mistake which in the course of our lives we have committed, but some proverb, had we known and attended to its lesson, might have saved us from it.” -Richard Chenevix Trench (1807 - 1886): “Proverbs and Their Lessons” (1905)

“No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. Despite our failings, we still deserve respect. Don’t let anyone put you down.” -Author Unknown

Karen: What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
Sharon: Boo-oo-oo-boos!

“Some people never make a mistake, nor do they ever make anything else.” -Author Unknown

“Never think about the mistakes you made. Think about the mistakes you will make.” -Bob Ross (Robert Norman ‘Bob’ Ross (1942 - 1995))

“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” -John Powell (1882 - 1963)

Overheard: I am human and I make mistakes.

“The secret of success is not avoiding mistakes, but learning from them.” -Michael Josephson (born 1942)

“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

“It would be a mistake to not try something for fear of making a mistake.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“No man ever became great or good except through many and great mistakes.” -William Gladstone (William Ewart Gladstone (1809 - 1898))

“It is normal to make mistakes. If people cannot accept that, they do not deserve to be around you.” -Author Unknown

“Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget about everything except what you’re going to do now and do it.” -Will Durant (William James ‘Will’ Durant (1885 - 1981))

Overheard: Have you ever noticed that no one notices you until you make a mistake?

“When you are not afraid to do it wrong the first time, you will eventually get it right.” -Author Unknown

“Making mistakes simply means you are learning faster.” -Weston H. Agor (Weston Harris Agor (1939 - 2007))

“I’ve learned so much from my mistakes that I am thinking about making a few more.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: We all make mistakes. Don’t let that be a reason to give up.

“He who makes no mistakes makes no progress.” -Teddy Roosevelt (Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919))

“Do not fear mistakes, there are none.” -Miles Davis (1926 - 1991)

“A mistake is simply another way of doing things.” -Katharine Graham (Katharine Meyer Graham (1917 - 2001))

“You can learn from your mistakes, so be sure to make some.” -Bil Keane (William Aloysius ‘Bil’ Keane (1922 - 2011))

“By seeking and blundering, we learn.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.” -Author Unknown

“It took me a long time to learn that mistakes aren’t good or bad, they’re just mistakes, and you clean them up and go on.” -Kaye Gibbons (born 1960)

“Mistakes show us what we need to learn.” -Peter McWilliams (Peter Alexander McWilliams (1949 - 2000))

“Whenever you fall, pick up something.” -Oswald Avery (Oswald Theodore Avery, Junior (1877 - 1955))

“By ignorance we make mistakes, and by making mistakes we learn.” -Edmund Fuller

“All great discoveries are made by mistake.” -Author Unknown

“Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.” -Chérie Carter-Scott (born 1949) at www.drcherie.com

“Without mistakes, there would be no accidental discoveries, and without accidental discoveries, there would be far fewer better methods found, far fewer inventions made, and much less beneficial progress. The great untold secret of everything in which humans engage is that much of it would never result in useful outcomes were it not for the vast number of mistakes within it, mistakes that go by the name ‘accidental discoveries.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Life is not life unless you make mistakes.” -Joan Collins (born 1933)

“If you’re making mistakes it means you’re out there doing something.” -Neil Gaiman (Neil Richard MacKinnon Gaiman (born 1960))

“It seems that the necessary thing to do is not to fear mistakes, to plunge in, to do the best that one can, hoping to learn enough from blunders to correct them eventually.” -Abraham Maslow (Abraham Harold Maslow (1908 - 1970))

Well, that about wraps things up for now . . . we are eager to get back to making a whole lot more mistakes . . . because that is how we are certain to learn . . . and to succeed . . . let’s all go out and make some mistakes . . . and continue to ‘Make Fun Of Life!’

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Anger and Rage

8/24/2021

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Picture of a woman demonstrating various facial expressions and postures of anger and rage, and the words, Anger and Rage, by David Hugh Beaumont, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net’

“We can’t let the anger overshadow the good things in life.” -Author Unknown

“Every time you give someone a piece of your mind, you make your head a little emptier.” -Author Unknown

“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.” -Eckhart Tolle (pseudonym of Ulrich Leonard Tölle (born 1948) at https://eckharttolle.com/

Riddle: What is round and has a bad temper?
Solution: A vicious circle.

“The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn’t angry enough.” -Bede Jarrett (born Cyril Jarrett (1881 - 1934))

“The best remedy for anger is delay.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65): “De ira” (English: “On Anger”)

“There is no angry way to say ‘bubbles.’” -Author Unknown

“Don’t let the Sun go down upon your anger; forgive each other, help each other, and begin again tomorrow.” -Louisa May Alcott (1832 - 1888)

“Letting off steam always produces more heat than light.” -Neal A. Maxwell (Neal Ash Maxwell (1926 - 2004)): “Murmur Not” in “Ensign” (November 1989) magazine, page 84

“Don’t ever slam a door; you might want to go back.” -Author Unknown

“Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.” -Chérie Carter-Scott (born 1939) at www.drcherie.com

“People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.” -Will Rogers (William Penn Adair ‘Will’ Rogers (1879 - 1935))

Angrophobia is a persistent fear of anger or of becoming angry. Many folks look ridiculous and do regrettable actions or speak in haste when angry, so perhaps the phobia stems in part from a fear of doing permanent damage to their personal reputations and relationships.

Anger makes us strong,
Blind and impatient
And it leads us wrong;
The strength is quickly lost;
We feel the error long.
-George Crabbe (1754 - 1832)

“The broad general rule is that a person is no bigger than the things that make him or her angry.” -Author Unknown

Hangry (han-gree), adjective: A state of anger caused by lack of food; hunger causing a negative change in emotional state.

“The line between hunger and anger is a thin line.” -John E. Steinbeck (John Ernst Steinbeck (1902 - 1968)): “The Grapes of Wrath” (14 April 1939)

“Sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.” -Author Unknown

“You can’t stay mad at someone who makes you laugh.” -Jay Leno (James Douglas Muir ‘Jay’ Leno (born 1950))

“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” -Author Unknown: Chinese proverb

“Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.” -Lemony Snicket (pseudonym of Daniel Handler (born 1970))

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A Bag of Nails

Once upon a time, there lived a little boy, and he had a very bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the wooden fence that surrounded their home.

The first day, the boy hammered an entire handful of nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails he hammered into the fence each day became fewer in number. He had discovered that it was easier for him to hold his temper than it was to drive nails into the fence.

Finally, the day came when the boy did not lose his temper at all. He told his father about this, and his father suggested that the boy then pull out one nail for each day that he had been able to control his temper.

The days passed, and at last, the young boy could finally tell his father that all the nails he had hammered into the fence had been removed.

The father led his son to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at all the holes in the fence. The nails are gone, but the fence itself will never be the same.”

The little boy then understood how powerful his words were. He looked up at his father and said, “I hope I can be forgiven for all the damage my anger has done to people.”

by Author Unknown

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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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“When you are angry say nothing and do nothing until you have recited the alphabet.” -Athenodorus Cananites (about 74 B.C.E. - C.E. 7)

“Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.” -Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826): as quoted in Benjamin S. Catchings: “Master Thoughts of Thomas Jefferson” (1907), page 82

“Just try to be angry with someone who fed you something delicious.” -Miriam Lukken: “Mrs. Dunwoody’s Excellent Instructions for Homekeeping: Timeless Wisdom and Practical Advice” (15 April 2003); line of fictional character Judge Dunwoody

“Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind.” -Robert G. Ingersoll (Robert Green ‘Bob’ Ingersoll (1833 - 1899))

“Most people usually do not assume responsibility for their anger. Instead, what we typically hear is, “You made me angry.” “They made me upset,” etc. I trust it is evident that these types of statements are not true. No one else can ‘make’ you angry. We have to make ourselves angry. What others say and do is, yes, a part of the equation, but without our contribution to the equation, anger cannot arise nor exist. This can be a very threatening conception of anger, and yet it is also very freeing, for as long as we do determine our own emotional responses, we are free to change and to control them. If other people or events were, in fact, responsible for our emotional responses, then we would not have the freedom nor ability to change them - unless we could control other people and events, which is much more challenging and usually impossible. Thus, principle one in the case against anger is, we are ultimately responsible for our own anger.” -Burton C. Kelly (Burton Cleveland Kelly (1926 - 2015)): “Let All . . . Anger . . . Be Put Away from You . . . or the Case Against Anger” as published in the “AMCAP Journal” (February 1979), pages 6 through 13

“Speak when you’re angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887)

“A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.” -Bruce Lee (pseudonym of Lee Jun-fan (1940 - 1973))

“Anger is a bad adviser.” -Author Unknown: French proverb

“Anger and worry are caused by phantoms that we create within ourselves and whose only strength is that with which we endow them.” -Horace Fletcher (1849 - 1919): “Menticulture, or, The ABC of True Living” (1895)

“When angry, count ten, before you speak; if very angry, an hundred.” -Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826): Decalogue of Canons, number 10

Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure, often resulting from a perceived injustice or unfairness. While anger is often momentary, rage is usually thought of as being a period of sustained, intense anger.

“Anger helps straighten out a problem like a fan helps straighten out a pile of papers.” -Susan Marcotte

“No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.” -George Jean Nathan (1882 - 1958)

“Anger is a feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.” -Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)

“I understand the fury in your words, but not the words.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Othello” (about 1603)

“There was never an angry man that thought his anger unjust.” -Francis de Sales (1567 - 1622): “Introduction to the Devout Life” (1609)

“He who can suppress a moment’s anger may prevent a day of sorrow.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894)

“Before you give someone a piece of your mind, make sure you can get by with what is left.” -Author Unknown

“Anger begins with folly, and ends with repentance.” -Pythagoras of Samos (about 570 B.C.E. - about 496 B.C.E.): as quoted in “The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction” (6 January 1844), volume V, number 1

“An angry man is again angry with himself when he returns to reason.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.” -Elizabeth I (1533 - 1603): as quoted in Francis Bacon: “Certain Apophthegms of Lord Bacon” (1625), number IV

“When anger rises, think of the consequences.” -Confucius (551 B.C.E. - 479 B.C.E.)

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Temper

When I have lost my temper, I have lost my reason, too.
     I’m never proud of anything which angrily I do.
When I have talked in anger and my cheeks were flaming red,
     I have always uttered something which I wish I hadn’t said.

In anger I have never done a kindly deed or wise,
     But many things for which I felt I should apologize.
In looking back across my life, and all I’ve lost or made,
     I can’t recall a single time when fury ever paid.

So I struggle to be patient, for I’ve reached a wiser age;
     I do not want to do a thing or speak a word in rage.
I have learned by sad experience that when my temper flies,
     I never do a worthy thing, a decent deed or wise.

by Author Unknown

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“If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?” -Sydney J. Harris (Sydney Justin Harris (1917 - 1986))

“I always tumble into trouble when I lose my temper.” -Jane Louise Curry: “Robin Hood and His Merry Men” (1994)

“Anger is never without an argument, but seldom with a good one.” -George Savile (also known as Lord Halifax (1633 - 1695)): “Political, Moral, and Miscellaneous Thoughts and Reflections” (1750), ‘Of Anger’

“When a wise man is angry, he is no longer wise.” -Author Unknown: “The Talmud”

“We are all crazy when we are angry.” -Philemon (about 300 B.C.E.)

“Whate’er’s begun in anger ends in shame.” -Benjamin Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790)): “Poor Richard’s Almanack” (1734); in modern parlance: “Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.” -Benjamin Franklin

“There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away; the battle they are fighting isn’t with you, it’s with themselves.” -Author Unknown

“Anger is a momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you.” [translation to English]
“Ira furor brevis est: animum rege: qui nisi paret imperat.” [original Latin]
-Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)): “Epistles” (20 B.C.E.), Book I, epistle ii, line 62

“He who angers you, controls you.” -Author Unknown

“Two things a man should never be angry at: what he can help, and what he cannot help.” -Author Unknown

“The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.” -Joseph Joubert (1754 - 1824)

“Anger is the only thing to put off till tomorrow.” -Author Unknown: Slovakian proverb

“Do not teach your children never to be angry; teach them how to be angry.” -Lyman Abbott (Lyman J. Abbott (1835 - 1922))

“A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.” Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Proverbs,’ chapter 15, verse 18

“Angry people are not always wise.” -Jane Austen (1775 - 1817)

“You can tell the size of a man by the size of the thing that makes him mad.” -Adlai Stevenson (Adlai Ewing Stevenson II (1900 - 1965))

“We boil at different degrees.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans, possibly also known as Marian Evans Cross (1819 - 1880))

“Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.” -attributed to Chuck Norris (Carlos Ray ‘Chuck’ Norris (born 1940))

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“Explain your anger instead of expressing it, and you will find solutions instead of arguments.” -Author Unknown

“Anger manages everything badly.” -Johannes Stadius (born Jan Van Ostaeyen (1527 - 1579))

“Never respond to an angry person with a fiery comeback, even if he deserves it . . . don’t allow his anger to become your anger.” -Author Unknown

“Temper, if ungoverned, governs the whole man.” -Anthony Ashley-Cooper (1671 - 1713)

“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.” -Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180))

“Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” -Aristotle (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.): as quoted in Edith M. Leonard, Lillian E. Miles, and Catherine S. Van der Kar: “The Child: At Home and School” (1944), page 203

“The prudent man does not let his temper boil over lest he get into hot water.” -Author Unknown

“Anger is one letter short of danger.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor ‘Eleanor’ Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“Never do anything when you are in a temper, for you will do everything wrong.” -Baltasar Gracián (1601 - 1658)

“Nobody ‘makes’ you angry. You ‘decide’ to use anger as a response.” -Author Unknown

“I’m sorry for the unkind words I spoke out of anger.” -Author Unknown

“My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down, and go about business as usual.” -Phyllis Diller (pseudonym of Phyllis Ada Driver (1917 - 2012))

We are MFOL! . . . promoting better living through humor and inspiration and learning . . .

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Ladders

8/19/2021

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Picture of a man standing on the Moon after having climbed a ladder to reach it, and the words, ‘One night, when he thought no one would notice, Boris climbed his ladder all the way to the Moon, but his wife Glendora saw him, and yelled, “Boris, you get down from there this instant before you injure yourself!” Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net’

“Life is like a ladder, every step can take you either up or down.” -Jerry Seinfeld (Jerome Allen ‘Jerry’ Seinfeld (born 1954))

“Failures are steps in the ladder of success.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

Questionable Facts About Ladders
- Ladders allow you to go up and down while they themselves remain stationary.
- When a ladder gets wet, it could be slippery and unsafe to climb, and must be ‘rung out’ until dry.
- Speaking of ‘rung out,’ if there is a broken or missing rung in a ladder, it is time to find a new ladder.
- Ladders can be used to reach high places, and can also be lowered into pits to help you reach low places.
- If you walk under a ladder, you will have 7 years of bad luck trying to wash the paint out of your hair that the person on the ladder spilled on you.
- Ladders are a means of egress, similar to elevators, stairs, climbing ropes, ramps, and escalators.
- Ladders will only be necessary until we all learn how to levitate or we build functional jetpacks; after that, we won’t need ladders anymore.
What questionable facts can you add to this list?

“He who would climb the ladder must begin at the bottom.” -Author Unknown: English proverb

“For every person who climbs the ladder of success, there are a dozen waiting for the elevator.” -Author Unknown

Laddie: Why did the student take a ladder to school?
Lassie: Because she wanted to go to high school.

“Each time you decide to grow again, you realize you’re starting at the bottom of another ladder.” -Ken Rosenthal

“To reach a great height, a person must have great depth . . . or a ladder.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Stepladder, noun: a short ladder with flat steps and a small platform at its top, that can stand on its own or be folded for carrying.

Picture of a man pointing at a step ladder and the words, ‘This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder. Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net’

“As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it’s leaning against the right building.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940)

Types of Ladders
- Rope
- Jacob’s
- Aluminum
- Wood
Can you think of other types of ladders?

“A wise man lowers a ladder before he jumps into a pit.” -Author Unknown

“To succeed, you have to be open to problems. You have to be open to failure. And as you go up the ladder, you gain the right to get more problems.” -Dave Anderson

“One only gets to the top rung of the ladder by steadily climbing up one at a time, and suddenly all sorts of powers, all sorts of abilities which you thought never belonged to you - suddenly become within your own possibility and you think, ‘Well, I’ll have a go, too.’” -Margaret Thatcher (Margaret Hilda ‘Margaret’ Thatcher (1925 - 2013))

“The most difficult part of getting to the top of the ladder is getting through the crowd at the bottom.” -Arch Ward (Archie Burdette Ward (1896 - 1955))

“The ladder of success is never crowded at the top.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon ‘Napoleon’ Hill (1883 - 1970))

Ladder, noun: A structure consisting of a series of bars or steps between two upright lengths of wood, metal, or rope, used for climbing up or down something.

“Climbing the ladder of success: When rungs were missing, I learned to jump.” -William Warfield (1920 - 2002)

Riddle: A man fell off a 20-foot ladder and landed on the concrete sidewalk, but he did not get hurt. Why?
Solution: He fell off the bottom rung.

“In spite of the fact that the ladder tapers to one-man rungs at the top, the roomiest part is farthest up.” -Charles R. Gow

“The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man’s foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher.” -T. H. Huxley (Thomas Henry Huxley (1825 - 1895)): “Life and Letters of Thomas Huxley,” originally stated in “An Address to the Students of the Faculty of Medicine in University College, London, 18 May 1870, On the Occasion of the Distribution of Prizes for the Session”

“There is no use whatever trying to help people who do not help themselves. You cannot push anyone up a ladder unless he be willing to climb himself.” -Andrew Carnegie (1835 - 1919)

“You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“If you cannot find or reach the ladder of success, you may have to build your own ladder.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“They climbed the ladder of learning only to find it leaning against the wrong wall.” -Russell M. Nelson

“The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity.” -Ayn Rand (pseudonym of Alice O’Connor (born Alisa Zinovyevna Rosenbaum (1905 - 1982)))

“Crosses are the ladders that lead to Heaven.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904): “Self Help” (1859)

Picture of an old wooden weather-beaten ladder leaning against a tree and going all the way to the top of the tree, with a clear blue sky above.

“At first, humans climbed trees, but trees were mostly immobile, and often did not reach all of the places where one might wish to be. Eventually, humans discovered how to make movable trees that could reach a few more of the places where one might wish to be, and these human creations came to be called ‘ladders.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Just remember, you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Another riverman of those days has recalled a story he heard Sam Clemens tell: ‘We were speaking of presence of mind in accidents - we were always talking of such things; then he said: ‘Boys, I had great presence of mind once. It was at a fire. An old man leaned out of a four-story building calling for help. Everybody in the crowd below looked up, but nobody did anything. The ladders weren’t long enough. Nobody had any presence of mind - nobody but me. I came to the rescue. I yelled for a rope. When it came I threw the old man the end of it. He caught it and I told him to tie it around his waist. He did so, and I pulled him down.’” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)): as quoted in Albert Bigelow Paine: “Mark Twain: A Biography” (1912)

According to superstition, it is bad luck to walk under a ladder . . . or maybe it’s just a matter of gravity?

“If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.” -Stephen R. Covey (Stephen Richards Covey (1932 - 2012))

“On the ladder of success: Some people are at the top of the ladder, some are in the middle, still more are at the bottom, and a whole lot of people don’t even know there is a ladder.” -Robert Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

A Few Ladder Safety Guidelines
- Always maintain three points of contact with the ladder.
- Do not place a ladder on a slippery floor; this rule you must not ignore.
- Inspect your ladder before you use it.
- Keep both hands on ladder at all times.
- When on a ladder, never step back to admire your work.
Can you think of other ladder safety guidelines?

“He that climbs a ladder must begin at the first round.” -Walter Scott (1771 - 1832): “Kenilworth” (1821); quotation also found in Walter Scott: “The Waverley Novels: In Twelve Volumes, Printed from the Latest English Editions, Embracing the Author's Last Corrections, Prefaces, and Notes” (1855), page 50

This is MFOL! . . . where can a ladder take you . . . it depends on how many rungs you are willing to climb . . .

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Vehicles and Drivers

8/11/2021

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Picture of a dog sitting in the driver’s seat of a vehicle, looking directly at the viewer, as if about to drive the vehicle, and the words, ‘Vehicles and Drivers, By David Hugh Beaumont, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’

“Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.” -E. B. White (Elwyn Brooks White (1899 - 1985))

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cargo.
Cargo, who?
Cargo, “Beep, beep!”

During a countywide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to pull over to the curb. When the driver asked why he had been stopped, the officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him and asked, “Does your dog have a license?” “No,” the man said, “He doesn’t need one.” “Yes, he does,” answered the officer. “But,” protested the driver, “I always do all the driving.”

Child: Mom, what happens to a car when it is too old to run anymore?
Mother: Someone sells it to your father.

Reckless automobile driving arouses the suspicion that much of the horse sense of the good old days was possessed by the horse. The reason there were fewer wrecks in the horse-and-buggy era was that the driver did not depend wholly on his own judgement.

“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.” -Dudley Moore

Sammy: Why couldn’t the rooster buy a car?
Amy: Because he couldn’t scratch up enough money.

In 1894, there were only four automobiles in the United States of America. Imagine the traffic jams, or rather, the lack thereof!

A man in his beat-up old car drove up to a tollbooth. The toll collector said, “Two dollars.” The vehicle owner said, “Sold!”

“I’ve found that an overlooked psychological factor contributing to auto accidents is the driver’s dislike for his car.” -Sheldon Zigelbaum

Neil: Which traffic light is the bravest?
Nell: The one that doesn’t turn yellow.

“Restore human legs as a means of travel. Pedestrians rely on food for fuel and need no special parking facilities.” -Lewis Mumford

“Law of Driver Impatience: If you change lanes because traffic seems to be moving too slow and you are impatient, the lane you were in will start to move faster than the one you have moved to.” -Author Unknown

“Another often-overlooked benefit of the introduction of the automobile is the resulting decrease in horse stealing.” -Author Unknown

One rainy evening, my husband, John, and I emerged from a restaurant only to find that he had locked the keys in the car. He insisted he could open the door with a wire coat hanger, so we went back to the restaurant to get one. There were none to be found. John then ran to a department store a quarter-mile away and returned with a hanger. After a few attempts, he got the door open and we climbed in. As we sat there, soaked and cold, he stuck the hanger under his seat. With a smug grin, he said, “Now if this ever happens again, I’ll have one.”

Clementine: What kind of country would this be if everyone drove a pink car?
Lemuel: A pink carnation!

A man was having trouble with his new car. He had added a carburetor that saved 30 percent on gas, a timer that saved 50 percent on gas, and spark plugs that saved 30 percent on gas. The trouble started when he drove ten miles and the gas tank overflowed.

Mercy: How many sides does a stop sign have?
Piercy: Being octagons, stop signs have eight sides. (Alternative answer: Two: front and back, with eight ‘edges.’)

Mini Caught Speeding at Mach 3. A Belgian motorist has been sent a speeding ticket for traveling at 3,379 kilometers (2,100 miles) per hour. The ticket claimed he had been caught doing Mach 3 in his Mini in a Brussels city suburb. Police have apologized for the mistake, and have blamed a faulty radar. They said human error was to blame for sending out the ticket, even though it was clear the man’s car could not have been traveling at three times the speed of sound.

Glenn: Have you heard about the vehicle that runs on water?
Logan: Yes, I believe it is called a sailboat.

“Some people just don’t know how to drive. I call these people, ‘Everybody but me.’” -Author Unknown

“The shortest distance between two points is under construction.” -Noelie Altito

“Even though there are days I wish I could change some things that happened in the past, I realize there is a reason the rearview mirror is so small and the windshield is so big. Where you are headed is so much more important than what you have left behind.” -Author Unknown

Neoautodentaphobia is a persistent fear of getting a dent in your new car.

A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation, she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. “Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court.” He smiled with delight. “Now sit down at that table and write, ‘I will not run a red light,’ five hundred times.”

Riddle: What has ten letters and starts with g-a-s?
Solution: An ‘automobile.’

“What am I supposed to do with this?” grumbled the motorist as the clerk handed him a receipt for paying his traffic fine. “Keep it,” the clerk advised. “When you get four of them, you get a bicycle.”

Wally: What part of a vehicle causes the most accidents?
Wallace: A loose screw in the nut located just behind the steering wheel.

“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen - it said, ‘Parking Fine.’” -Tommy Cooper

Deborah: How many dinosaurs will fit into a small car?
Debby: I don’t know, but sixteen small cars will fit into a dinosaur!

“The car has become . . . an article of dress without which we feel uncertain, unclad, and incomplete.” -Marshall McLuhan: “Understanding Media” (1964)

Millicent: Where do vehicles get the most flat tires?
Milford: Where there is a fork in the road.

Bumper Sticker: If you think I’m a lousy driver, wait until you see me putt.

Darlene: What model car is that you’re driving?
Darin: Well, it’s not so much a model as it is a bad example.

Motorist: Someone who keeps pedestrians in good running order.

“We are not proving ourselves spiritually worthy of our material progress. We have not been neighborly, courteous, and kind upon the highway. Our lack of decency toward our fellow men is a definite black mark against us.” -Cary T. Grayson

Pierce: Where can you drive without a license?
Morgan: On a golf course.

“Driving: Flying through the air while making intermittent contact with the road surface.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.” -Author Unknown

Red Light: The place where you catch up with the motorist who passed you going 80 miles per hour a mile back.

Libby: What happened when the wheel was invented?
Lovey: It caused a ‘revolution.’

“What a lucky thing the wheel was invented before the automobile; otherwise, can you imagine the awful screeching?” -Samuel Hoffenstein

Have you heard about the guy who was T-boned while making a U-turn on an S-Curve? He got an ‘A’ for being in an accident.

Percival: What kind of driver never gets a speeding ticket?
Priscilla: A screwdriver.

“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.” -Author Unknown

Kermit the Frog: Fozzie, where did you learn to drive?
Fozzie Bear: I took a correspondence course.
-Jerry Juhl and Jack Burns

Sing While You Drive

At 45 miles per hour, sing:
     “Highways are Happy Ways.”
At 55 miles per hour, sing:
      “I’m But a Stranger Here, Heaven is My Home.”
At 65 miles per hour, sing:
      “Nearer, My God, to Thee!”
At 75 miles per hour, sing:
      “When the Roll is Called Up Yonder, I’ll Be There.”
At 85 miles per hour, sing:
      “Lord, I’m Coming Home.”

by Author Unknown

“Never buy a car you can’t push.” -Author Unknown

“The longest journey begins with a single step, not with a turn of the ignition key.” -Edward Abbey

Devon: How do you avoid being driven crazy?
Irving: Walk.

“The civilized man has built a coach, but has lost the use of his feet.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Self-Reliance” (1841)

A woman who was speeding had an officer pull her to the side of the road. She did not have her seat belt on, so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window. After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, “I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?” “Yes, I do, officer,” she replied. “Well,” asked the officer, “do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?”

“Leave sooner, drive slower, live longer.” -Author Unknown

“Aerodynamics are for people who cannot build engines.” -Enzo Ferrari

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called ‘rush hour’?

Safety Belts

Safety belts, safety belts,
     Wear them all the way!
Every time you’re in the car,
     Every night and day, oh!

Safety belts, safety belts,
     Wear them round your lap!
Then before you start to ride,
     Everybody snap!

by Author Unknown, can be sung to the same tune as that of “Jingle Bells”

A man was driving along in his car when his wife called him on his cell phone. “Honey, be careful. I just heard on the news that there’s a car driving the wrong way on the freeway.” The man replied, “Only one - are you kidding? There must be hundreds of them!”

If someone can’t operate a turn-signal properly, what makes that person think that he or she can operate the whole car?

Jill’s car was unreliable, and she called John for a ride every time it broke down. One day John got yet another one of those calls. “What happened this time?” he asked. “My brakes went out,” Jill said. “Can you come to get me?” “Where are you?” John asked. “I’m in the drugstore,” Jill responded. “And where’s the car?” John asked. Jill replied, “It’s in here with me.”

Jenny: What is the difference between a car and a cow?
Jennifer: A car only has one horn.

“What if you steered your vehicle with your feet, and the brakes and accelerator were controlled by your hands?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, and both of them could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself “I must be losing it. I am sure we just went through a red light.” After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have injured us both!” Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh, my goodness, am I driving?”

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

“When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio. If all the stations are rock and roll, there’s a good chance the transmission is shot.” -Larry Lujack

Fools Indeed

What fools indeed we mortals are
     To lavish care upon a car,
With ne’er a bit of time to see
     About our own machinery!

by John Kendrick Bangs (1862 - 1922)

“I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.” -Author Unknown

“Consider the man on horseback, and I have been a man on horseback for most of my life. Well, mostly he is a good man, but there is a change in him as soon as he mounts. Every man on horseback is an arrogant man, however gentle he may be on foot. The man in the automobile is one thousand times as dangerous. I tell you, it will engender absolute selfishness in mankind if the driving of automobiles becomes common. It will breed violence on a scale never seen before. It will mark the end of the family as we know it, the three or four generations living happily in one home. It will destroy the sense of neighborhood and the true sense of Nation. It will create giganticized cankers of cities, false opulence of suburbs, ruinized countryside, and unhealthy conglomerations of specialized farming and manufacturing. It will make every man a tyrant.” -R. A. Lafferty: “Interurban Queen” (1970), a short story set in the late 1800’s

“A commuter tie-up consists of you - and people who for some reason won’t use public transit.” -Robert Brault

A man was driving down a lonely country road when it began to snow heavily. His car windows fogged up and the windshield became covered with snow, but his wiper blades were badly worn, and consequently they soon fell apart. The man could not see out of the front of his car anymore and he could not continue to drive, so he stopped the car. Then he got out and started to turn over some large rocks that he found alongside the road. Finally, he found two frozen snakes under the rocks. He straightened them out, stuck them flat onto his blades, and they worked just fine. He was able to continue on his way thanks to his pair of wind-chilled vipers.

Denise: When do you go on red and stop on green?
Denny: When you are eating a watermelon.

“Primitives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.” -Mary Ellen Kelly

Amazingly, the brilliant-yet-quirky physicist Albert Einstein never learned how to drive a car. He was, however, an enthusiastic bicyclist and walker. Other famous people who never learned how to drive include science-fiction writer Ray Bradbury, actress Mae West, and American President Woodrow Wilson. There are many well-known non-drivers - in fact, too many to list in the space allotted to this topic.

Stoplight: A place where the cautious and the reckless meet.

Motorists, here is how you can avoid being prosecuted for using your cell phone while driving. Simply place your phone inside a large seashell, and the police will think that you are listening to the sound of the ocean as you drive.

“A tree never hits an automobile - except in self-defense.” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . vrmmm-vrmmm! . . . beep, beep! . . .

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Chuck Norris

8/3/2021

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Picture of Chuck Norris as Walker, Texas Ranger.

Ghosts sit around campfires and tell Chuck Norris stories.

“Running from your fear can be more painful than facing it, for better or worse.” -Chuck Norris

It is considered a great accomplishment to go over Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

“If you want to accomplish anything in life, you can’t just sit back and hope it will happen. You’ve got to make it happen.” -Chuck Norris

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you do.

There once was a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has appeared in a number of action films, such as “Way of the Dragon” in which he starred alongside Bruce Lee, and he was The Cannon Group’s leading star in the 1980’s. He acted the starring role in the television series “Walker, Texas Ranger” from 1993 to 2001.

Chuck Norris can eat rice using only one chopstick.

Chuck Norris never has to balance his household budget. One look from Chuck, and it balances itself.

Chuck Norris has never worn glasses in his life. If he can’t see it, then it doesn’t exist.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

When somebody yells, “Last one there is a rotten egg!” Chuck Norris is never the rotten egg.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

“People whine, ‘I haven’t succeeded because I haven’t had the breaks.’ You create your own breaks.” -Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris wakes up his alarm clock.

Carlos Ray ‘Chuck’ Norris was born on 10 March 1940. He became an American Martial Artist and has been 6-times World Black Belt Karate Champion and an actor. After serving in the United States Air Force, he began his rise to fame as a Martial Artist and founded his own Martial Arts school, called Chun Kuk Do. Mr. Norris has appeared in several action films. As a result of his ‘tough guy’ image, an internet phenomenon began in 2005 known as Chuck Norris facts, ascribing various implausible or even impossible feats to Mr. Norris.

Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Picture of Chuck Norris demonstrating a Martial Arts high kick.

So you think you can be like Chuck Norris . . . how high can you kick?

Chuck Norris is ‘The best a man can get.’

“Whatever luck I had, I made. I was never a natural athlete, but I paid my dues in sweat and concentration and took the time necessary to learn karate and become world champion.” -Chuck Norris

Before the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks inside his closet and under his bed for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

“Sometimes the things we want most are the hardest to get. That means you need to be even more determined to succeed. That’s what it takes to be a winner. You have to want it bad enough to stick with it no matter how tough things get.” -Chuck Norris

No matter what your mother always said, Chuck Norris can tune a fish.

“I think setting a goal, getting a visual image of what it is you want. You’ve got to see what it is you want to achieve before you can pursue it.” -Chuck Norris

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself, to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

“I’ve always found that anything worth achieving will always have obstacles in the way and you’ve got to have that drive and determination to overcome those obstacles on route to whatever it is that you want to accomplish.” -Chuck Norris

Picture of Chuck Norris wagging his finger at the viewer.

Chuck Norris once shot down an enemy fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

“The three key components for success are as follows: Psychological Preparedness, Physical Conditioning, Mental Toughness.” -Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris is a devout Christian and a political conservative. He has written several books on Christianity and has supported a number of Republican candidates and causes. Mr. Norris also writes a column for the conservative website WorldNetDaily.

“One of my life’s principles is to develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways and to help others do the same.” - Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can eat just one potato chip.

“If I had said, “I don’t stand a chance,” one thing is clear: I wouldn’t have.” -Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night-light, not because he’s afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie-Pop lollipop.

Chuck Norris is simultaneously a noun and a verb.

Picture of Chuck Norris wearing a red and white Santa Claus hat.

Once each year, on 24 December, Chuck Norris puts on a red and white suit and rides all around the world in a flying sleigh pulled by magical reindeer . . . so you had better watch out . . . and be good for goodness’ sake!

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Chuck Norris has legitimate credentials in Martial Arts. Some of his past students are probably familiar to you. They include The Osmonds - yes, those Osmonds - as well as Bob Barker, Steve McQueen, and Priscilla Presley.

Chuck Norris once had a boomerang. It was way too scared to come back.

“Always remember that your success begins inside you: If you can’t see it first, no one else ever will.” -Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn’t have to cross the road - the other side comes over to him.

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

“Focus on what it is that you want, set a realistic goal. Start setting goals that you feel you can accomplish. Don’t try to go right to the top in one leap. Every time you accomplish a goal you develop the strength and wisdom to accomplish the next one.” -Chuck Norris

The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

If you feel like people ignore you sometimes, it is probably because you are not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

“A lot of people give up just before they’re about to make it. You know, you never know when that next obstacle is going to be the last one.” -Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can believe it is butter.

Poster of Chuck Norris in a Martial Arts stance, with the words, ‘Chuck Norris, Private Lesson, Basic Self-Defense Instruction, High Energy Aerobics Workout, Masterful Martial Arts Demonstration, Three Lessons In One, Six Times World Karate Champion.’

Become a better you! Chuck Norris wants you to get in shape and lose weight and become more confidant, all through an intense, dedicated program of Martial Arts, which is the training of both mind and body.

Chuck Norris is 1.78 meters (5 feet, 10 inches) tall, which is the average height for men in the developed world. In all other ways, he is above average and, from what we have heard, better than you.

“No one’s perfect. And we’ve all made our mistakes and you just have to live with them and try not to make them again.” -Chuck Norris

The only thing Chuck Norris says in a job interview is, “Hi. I’m Chuck Norris and I start tomorrow. Any questions?”

Arnold: Who would win in a fight between King Kong and Godzilla?
Rocky: Neither, Chuck Norris never lets his pets fight.

Chuck Norris uses a stunt double when making movies - for crying scenes.

Chuck Norris can read minds but he does not do so because he doesn’t care what people think.

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

If at first you don’t succeed, you are not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not have an ESC key on his computer, because there is no escape from Chuck Norris.

If you can spell Chuck Norris in a game of Scrabble, you win . . . forever.

“Anything worth achieving will always have obstacles in the way.” -Chuck Norris

They found Chuck Norris’ diary. It is now known as the “Guinness Book of World Records.”

Chuck Norris doesn’t call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

“A lot of times people look at the negative side of what they feel they can’t do. I always look on the positive side of what I can do.” -Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can bake a cake in a freezer.

Chuck Norris destroyed the Periodic Table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

The Chuck Norris Website is www.ChuckNorris.com. When you visit, see if he still sells Chuck Norris Action Jeans for the Martial Artist, which will allow you to do high kicks and other fancy moves without cramping your style.

When there’s a meteor shower, Chuck Norris grabs a bar of soap.

“There’s no finish line. When you reach one goal, find a new one.” -Chuck Norris

When asked how many pushups he can do, Chuck Norris responded, “All of them.”

“Run while you still have the chance.” -Chuck Norris

This is MFOL! and we cannot say anything more at this time because we’re too busy running from Chuck Norris!

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Television

7/28/2021

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Picture of a brown bear and a stuffed teddy bear watching television in their living room, with a bowl of popcorn and a jar of honey.

“After 20 years of searching, you are forced to admit that there just isn’t anything good on TV.” -Author Unknown: “The Onion,” ‘Horoscope’

“The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you’re doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.” -Jerry Seinfeld (Jerome Allen ‘Jerry’ Seinfeld (born 1954))

Emma: What was the television doing at the beach?
Lee: Channel surfing.

“Time has convinced me of one thing: television is for appearing on, not for looking at.” -Noël Coward (Noël Pierce Coward (1899 - 1973))

“There was a show on television the other day that was so old . . . the cowboys were riding dinosaurs.” -Author Unknown

“Television? The word is half Latin and half Greek. No good can come of it.” -C. P. Scott (Charles Prestwich Scott (1846 - 1932))

The English word television is derived from the Greek word ‘tele’ meaning ‘far’ or ‘at a distance’ and the Latin word ‘visio’ meaning ‘sight.’

‘Laugh tracks’ are also known as ‘canned laughter.’ Many of the laugh tracks now used in television programs, especially sitcoms and talk shows, were recorded in the 1950’s . . . when people still knew how to laugh - and had something to laugh about.

Young Lady from Trent

There was a young lady from Trent
Whose TV antenna got bent -
     The neighbors went crazy;
     Their screens all got hazy,
For instead of receiving, she sent!

by John Etheridge

“It’s a good thing television shows are so awful; otherwise, some of us would spend our entire lives watching television.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

In 1965, BBC TV featured an interview with a professor who had just invented a device called ‘smellovision.’ This miraculous technology allowed viewers to experience directly in their own home aromas produced in the television studio. The professor offered a demonstration by cutting some onions and brewing coffee. A number of viewers called in to confirm that they distinctly experienced these scents as if they were there in the studio with him. Since no aromas were actually being transmitted, whatever these viewers thought they smelled coming out of their TV sets must be chalked up to the power of suggestion.

Question: Which television show had characters that lived at 1313 Mockingbird Lane in Mockingbird Heights?
Answer: “The Munsters”

The first television commercial for a toy was in 1946 for Mr. Potato Head.

The television network executives were constantly infuriated by Jay Ward, creator of “The Adventures of Bullwinkle and Rocky” (also known as “The Bullwinkle Show”). He continually pulled off-the-wall stunts on his show. In one episode, he had Bullwinkle tell audience members to pull the knobs off their televisions so that, “We’ll be sure to be with you next week.” 20,000 kids obliged the request. The following week, Bullwinkle told those kids to glue the knobs back on.

What kinds of things on television and in movies make you laugh?

“The Brady Bunch is a live action modern fairytale of family. In this context it’s less odd that it’s lasted for over thirty years; and why it may last in some respects as long as Mother Goose!” -Christopher Knight

“If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.” -Lily Tomlin (born 1939)

“The story you have just heard is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.” -Author Unknown: “Dragnet” (1949 - 1957)

“Television is about watching a life instead of having one.” -Beth Mazur

“Television has changed the American child from an irresistible force to an immovable object.” -Laurence J. Peter (Laurence Johnston Peter (1919 - 1990))

“I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.” -Dwight D. Eisenhower (Dwight David ‘Ike’ Eisenhower (1890 - 1968))

“You open it with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension. A dimension of sound. A dimension of sight. A dimension of mind. You are moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.” -Rod Serling (Rodman Edward Serling (1924 - 1975)): one of the intros to the “Twilight Zone” show

“Television contracts the imagination and radio expands it.” -Terry Wogan (born 1938): as quoted in the “Observer” (December 1984) of London

“I don’t know what’s wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman.” -Bruce Baum (born 1951)

“Don’t you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There’s one marked, ‘Brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.” -Gallagher (born 1946 as Leo Anthony Gallagher)

“Television is a form of theater - even news ‘shows’ are simply actors who sit in front of cameras and read from edited scripts displayed on teleprompters or computer tablets. Reality shows are scripted and are just as far from reality as people can get without being permanently institutionalized.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“My husband wanted one of those new big-screen TV’s for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.” -Wendy Liebman (born 1961)

Hey, who stole our “TV Guide”?!

“TV - a clever contraction derived from the words ‘Terrible Vaudeville’ . . . we call it a medium because nothing’s well done.” -Goodman Ace (Goodman Aiskowitz (1899 - 1982)): letter to Groucho Marx

“The human race is faced with a cruel choice: get a job or watch daytime television.” -Author Unknown

“I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can’t stop eating peanuts.” -Orson Welles (1915 - 1985)

An estimated one in every four Americans has appeared on television, though most are not shown in close-up facial images. You might be walking down the street, standing in a line, sitting down at a sports or other entertainment event, eating lunch at a sidewalk cafe, or spending a leisurely day at a park. You won’t necessarily know that a camera is trained on you or scanning the area you are in, and in most cases, they don’t need your permission legally to do so. Most likely the video of you will be put into storage as ‘stock footage’ at a television studio, to be used at a later time to illustrate a news story. For example, a news program might do a segment on obesity. Someone will be sent to search through the stock footage until something is found that shows a sidewalk full of people walking. They will then edit the video in order to emphasize the obviously overweight people, and show it while a news commentator reads aloud some health statistics. This is just another good reason to always try to be at your best when you are out in public.

Fred: Hey, look, Helen, you’re on TV.
Helen: Fred, that’s ridiculous. I’m standing right over here - how could I possibly be on TV?

“Have you ever noticed that TV families never watch TV?” -Henny Youngman (Henry ‘Henny’ Youngman (1906 - 1998))

Question: Who was the first dog in history to adopt a little boy and to build a time machine?
Answer: Mr. Peabody, in “The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.”

What is your favorite television show?

“Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the ‘reception’ was good.” -Author Unknown

“Television is the single greatest threat to communications and connections within a family. You may as well be fifty miles away from the person sitting next to you if you’re both watching television.” -Author Unknown

Shows that may be appearing on TV soon, as a result of the computer age:
- Modem, She Wrote: Each week, our intrepid detective tries to solve the ultimate mystery: Why her modem won’t ever connect at 56k.
- Micro-CHiPs: Ponch and Jon now patrol the Information Superhighway.
- Hawaii 6.0: An upgraded version of the classic series. Steve McGarrett goes surfing for bad guys online.
- T. J. Hacker: A retired cop, with an uncanny resemblance to James T. Kirk, takes up computer hacking to track down the miscreants who canceled his TV show.
- The Excel Files: Inexplicable things are happening to the data in Microsoft Excel spreadsheets. Can this puzzle be solved? The truth is out there.
- Magnum, PC: This series about a crime-solving personal computer that goes by the code name Deep Blue is based in beautiful Hawaii. Season finale cliff-hanger: Will Deep Blue be led into a life of crime by the wily charms of the Texas Instruments Speak ‘n’ Spell?
- The Incredible Bulk: The exciting adventures of Windows, which just keeps growing and growing.

“Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn’t have in your home.” -David Frost (David Paradine Frost (1939 - 2013))

“My father hated radio and couldn’t wait for television to be invented so he could hate that, too.” -Peter De Vries (1910 - 1993)

“There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.” -Rod Serling (Rodman Edward Serling (1924 - 1975)): one of the intros to the “Twilight Zone” show

“Whoever controls the media - the images - controls the culture.” -Allen Ginsberg (Irwin Allen Ginsberg (1926 - 1997))

[Television] “. . . won’t be able to hold on to any market it captures after the first six months. People will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night.” -Darryl F. Zanuck (Darryl Francis Zanuck (1902 - 1979)) (1946)

TV announcer: “Our regularly scheduled program will not be seen tonight - because we’ve discovered that not broadcasting anything did better in the ratings than the program itself!”

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” -Groucho Marx (Julius Henry ‘Groucho’ Marx (1890 - 1977))

“All television is educational television. The question is: What is it teaching?” -Nicholas Johnson (born 1934)

“Television programming: Material that fills the time between commercials.” -Author Unknown

“There is a lot of hype going on about high-definition television. But is it really worth it to pay more money to see the same junk in sharper detail?” -Thomas Sowell (born 1930)

Question: How many channels are on a VHF TV dial?
Answer: 12 (there is no #1).

“The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely.” -T. S. Eliot (Thomas Stearns Eliot (1888 - 1965))

“TV is chewing gum for the eyes.” -Frank Lloyd Wright (born Frank Lincoln Wright (1867 - 1959))

“While theoretically and technically television may be feasible, commercially and financially I consider it an impossibility, a development of which we need waste little time or dreaming.” -Lee de Forest (1873 - 1961) (1926)

Question: What is a British cow’s favorite sci-fi television program?
Answer: Dr. Moo.

“Television is a new medium. It’s called a medium because nothing is well-done.” -Fred Allen (born John Florence Sullivan (1894 - 1956)): “The Big Show” (17 December 1950) radio program

“Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.” -Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)

We control your horizontal . . . we control your vertical . . . we are . . . television executives. So they’re who’s responsible . . .

My TV’s Under the Weather

My TV came down with a chill.
As soon as I saw it was ill
     I wrapped up its channels
     In warm Winter flannels
And gave its antenna a pill.

by Willard R. Espy (Willard Richardson Espy (1910 - 1999))

The Society for the Eradication of Television (SET) no longer exists, and Couch Potatoes likewise is defunct, so some of us must organize to eradicate the beastly television hobgoblin monster thing before it turns us all into gelatinous masses with non-functioning legs and bloodshot eyes. Who will go forth to slay the dragon? Will it be you? How about you? You, over there, can you do it? Hey, can somebody get us some fresh batteries for the remote?

“The best show on TV can usually be found on the OFF channel.” -Author Unknown

Quiz Show Questions and Answers
A famous bridge? “The Bridge over Troubled Waters.”
A food that can be brown or white? A potato.
An item of clothing worn by the “Three Musketeers?” A horse.
Something people might be allergic to? Skiing.
Something slippery? A con-man.
Something that flies that doesn’t have an engine? A bicycle with wings.
Something you put on walls? A roof.
Something you wear on a beach? A deck-chair.
Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon.

“I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off.” -Jack Paar (Jack Harold Paar (1918 - 2004)): as quoted in “TV Guide”

“Television has proven that people will look at anything rather than each other.” -Ann Landers (pseudonym of Esther Pauline Friedman ‘Eppie’ Lederer (1918 - 2002))

“Television: An electrical device which, when broken, stimulates conversation.” -Author Unknown

“The only thing television ever gave me was a stiff neck.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Late night T.V. is very educational. It teaches you that you should have gone to bed earlier.” -James Dent

“The smallest bookstore still contains more ideas of worth than have been presented in the entire history of television.” -Andrew Ross

In the United States of America, federal law states that children’s television shows may contain only 10 minutes of advertising per hour and on weekends the limit is 10 and one-half minutes.

“There are days when any electrical appliance in the house, including the vacuum cleaner, seems to offer more entertainment possibilities than the TV set.” -Harriet Van Horne (1920 - 1998)

“If television shows continue the way they’re going, the public will soon be demanding longer commercials.” -Author Unknown

“There is an educational channel. It’s called ‘off.’” -Lily Henderson: remark made at 11 years of age

So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
     Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
     A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
-Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990): “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” (1964)

Just remember, children and adults, watching television is bad for your intellect, causes muscles to atrophy, makes imaginations shrivel, and is a leading cause of suffering in relationships . . . so instead hang out on MFOL! . . . or, even better, go outside and play . . . with your friends, your family, or your imagination . . .

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Apathy and Enthusiasm

7/21/2021

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Picture of a happy, smiling, enthusiastic woman

We are absolutely alive . . . with enthusiasm . . . whoo-hoo!

“The world belongs to the energetic.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Enthusiasm is the electricity of life. How do you get it? You act enthusiastic until you make it a habit.” -Gordon Parks

“If you have zest and enthusiasm, you attract zest and enthusiasm. Life does give back in kind.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Enthusiasm is the greatest asset in the world. It beats money and power and influence.” -Henry Chester

“I would rather hire a man with enthusiasm, than a man who knows everything.” -John D. Rockefeller (John Davison Rockefeller, Senior (1839 - 1937)): as quoted in Bryan Curtis: “Classic Wisdom for the Professional Life” (2010), page 75

“Enthusiasm is the yeast that raises the dough.” -Paul J. Meyer (Paul James Meyer (1928 - 2009))

“It’s faith in something and enthusiasm for something that makes a life worth living.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Senior (1809 - 1894)

“Enthusiasm is the foundation of a Pleasing Personality, and you must have such a personality in order to influence others to cooperate with you.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon ‘Napoleon’ Hill (1883 - 1970): “The Law Of Success: In Sixteen Lessons” (1928)

“An enthusiastic heart finds opportunities everywhere.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

“The enthusiastic person will find ways around any setbacks, they may fall down, but they are quick to stand up again.” -Catherine Pulsifer (born 1927)

“Enthusiasm is nothing more or less than faith in action.” -Henry Chester

“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“Enthusiasm: Get-up-and-glow.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“An old dog can learn new tricks. If your enthusiasm has lost its vitality, do everything possible to revive it.” -Don McArt: “The Mental Makeover” (February 2004)

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wa.
Wa, who?
What are you so excited about?

“Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe, and enthusiastically act upon . . . must inevitably come to pass!” -Paul J. Meyer (Paul James Meyer (1928 - 2009))

Picture of a happy, smiling, enthusiastic man

“Positive energy brings opportunity!” -Author Unknown

“Nothing is so contagious as enthusiasm; it moves stones, it charms brutes. Enthusiasm is the genius of sincerity and truth accomplishes no victories without it.” -Edward Bulwer-Lytton (Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873))

“No person who is enthusiastic about his work has anything to fear from life.” -Samuel Goldwyn (Samuel ‘Sam’ Goldwyn (born Schmuel Gelbfisz (1882 - 1974)

“What I do best is share my enthusiasm.” -Bill Gates (born 1955)

“Every man is enthusiastic at times. One man has enthusiasm for thirty minutes, another for thirty days, but it is the man who has it for thirty years who makes a success of his life.” -Edward B. Butler

“I like thinking big. If you’re going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big.” -Elizabeth Tudor (1533 - 1603)

“Think of yourself as on the threshold of unparalleled success. A whole clear, glorious life lies before you. Achieve! Achieve!” -Andrew Carnegie (1835 - 1919)

“A mediocre idea that generates enthusiasm will go further than a great idea that inspires no one.” -Mary Kay Ash (1918 - 2001)

“Enthusiasm is the key not only to the achievement of great things but to the accomplishment of anything that is worthwhile.” -Samuel Goldwyn (Samuel ‘Sam’ Goldwyn (born Schmuel Gelbfisz (1882 - 1974)

“Your enthusiasm will be infectious, stimulating, and attractive to others. They will love you for it. They will go for you and with you.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“When a person applies enthusiasm to his job, the job will itself become alive with exciting new possibilities.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“There is real magic in enthusiasm. It spells the difference between mediocrity and accomplishment.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“There is nothing greater than enthusiasm.” -Henry Moore

“Apathy can be overcome by enthusiasm, and enthusiasm can only be aroused by two things: first, an ideal, with takes the imagination by storm, and second, a definite intelligible plan for carrying that ideal into practice.” -Arnold J. Toynbee

“Enthusiasm releases the drive to carry you over obstacles and adds significance to all you do.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Always remember that when contentment enters, progress ceases.” -Author Unknown

“Zeal is fit only for wise men, but is found mostly in fools.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732)

Question: What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
Answer: I don’t know and I don’t care.

“We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements in life, when all that we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about.” -Charles Kingsley (1819 - 1875)

“A different world cannot be built by indifferent people.” -Horace Mann (1796 - 1859)

“Nothing is so contagious as enthusiasm.” -Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834)

“Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing do it with all your might. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your objective.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Apathy is the first step to anarchy.” -Author Unknown

“Enthusiasm moves the world.” -Arthur James Balfour

“All in favor of losing their rights, please do nothing.” -Author Unknown

“Enthusiasm finds the opportunities, and energy makes the most of them.” -Henry S. Haskins (Henry Stanley Haskins (1876 - 1957)): “Meditations on Wall Street” (1940)

“I’m apathetic . . . and I don’t care.” -Author Unknown

“If you want to be enthusiastic, act enthusiastic.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

“A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm.” -Charles Schwab (Charles Michael Schwab (1862 - 1939))

“I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among men the greatest asset I possess.” -Charles Schwab (Charles Michael Schwab (1862 - 1939))

“The continual intrusion into our minds of the hammering noises of arguments and propaganda can lead to two kinds of reactions. It may lead to apathy and indifference, the I-don’t-care reaction, or to a more intensified desire to study and to understand. Unfortunately the first reaction is the more popular one.” -Joost A. M. Meerloo

“Enthusiasm is the sparkle in your eyes, the swing in your gait. The grip of your hand, the irresistible surge of will and energy to execute your ideas.” -Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)

“Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

“Enthusiasm is the great hill-climber.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“Are you excited because things are going well, or are things going well because you’re excited?” -Author Unknown

“And whatsoever Ye do, do it heartily.” -Paul of Tarsus (C.E. 10 - C.E. 67): as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Colossians,’ chapter 3, verse 23

“Enthusiasm . . . the sustaining power of all great action.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“The real secret of success is enthusiasm.” -Walter Chrysler (Walter Percy Chrysler (1875 - 1940))

This is MFOL! . . . it’s go-time!

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Minds and Thinking

7/19/2021

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Picture of a man gazing upward in thought

Are you thinking what we’re thinking?

“Guard your thoughts carefully. The quality of your thinking determines the quality of your life.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

A Beautiful Thought

It just can’t be given or bought
And must be most tenderly sought.
With a velvety pelt,
So soft it may melt -
It’s known as a beautiful thought.

by Author Unknown

“Our life is what our thoughts make it.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180)): “The Meditations” (C.E. 167), Book 4, meditation 3

“Do not worry at all about negative thoughts, and do not try to control them. All you have to do is begin to think good thoughts each day. Plant as many good thoughts as you can in each day. As you begin to think good thoughts you will attract more and more good thoughts, and eventually the good thoughts will wipe out the negative thoughts altogether.” -Rhonda Byrne

“Positive thoughts generate positive feelings and attract positive life experiences.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t feed your mind with negative thoughts. If you do, you will come to believe them.” -Catherine Pulsifer

“There are mighty few people who think what they think they think.” -Robert Henri

“Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life.” -Anthony Robbins (Anthony Jay ‘Tony’ Robbins (born 1960))

“Throughout all history, the great wise men and teachers, philosophers and prophets, have disagreed with one another on many different things. It is only on this one point that they are in complete and unanimous agreement. We become what we think about.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“When we say our mind wanders, where does it go?” -Author Unknown

“Everything’s in the mind. That’s where it starts. Knowing what you want is the first step toward getting it.” -Mae West (1893 - 1980)

“Whatever you think about grows in your life.” -Author Unknown

“When people will not weed their own minds, they are apt to be overrun with nettles.” -Horace Walpole (1717 - 1797): in a letter (10 July 1779) to Caroline, Countess of Ailesbury

“Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bear bad fruit.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Minds are for people who think.” -Mark Jones (born 1953): “The A-Team,” Season 3, Episode 1 (18 September 1984); words appearing on a T-shirt worn by fictional character Madman Murdoch

“You live with your thoughts - so be careful what they are.” -Eva Arrington

“Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?” -Author Unknown

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day.” -Elizabeth Gilbert

“It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.” -René Descartes (1596 - 1650)

“Every thought we think is creating our future.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017))

“There are two distinct classes of what are called thoughts: those that we produce in ourselves by reflection and the act of thinking and those that bolt into the mind of their own accord.” -Thomas Paine (1737 - 1809)

“Thoughts, like fleas, jump from man to man, but they don’t bite everybody.” -Stanislaw Jerzy Lec (1909 - 1966): “Unkempt Thoughts” (1957)

“A thought is a substance, producing the thing that is imagined by the thought.” -Wallace D. Wattles (Wallace Delois Wattles (born Wallace Delois Walters (1860 - 1911)

“Change your thoughts, change your life.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“It is your ability to think that is your chief source of value; in fact, you are a mind with a body to carry it around in.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“A purely mental life may be destructive if it leads us to substitute thought for life and ideas for actions. The activity proper to man is not purely mental because man is not just a disembodied mind. Our destiny is to live out what we think, because unless we live what we know, we do not even know it. It is only by making our knowledge part of ourselves, through action, that we enter into the reality that is signified by our concepts.” -Thomas Merton (1915 - 1968)

“Don’t try to think too many thoughts all at once. Even the smartest among us can only think one or two things at a time.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Thought is action in rehearsal.” -Author Unknown

“Clear thinking requires courage rather than intelligence.” -Thomas Szasz (Thomas S. Szasz (1920 - 2012))

“How can I tell what I think till I see what I say?” -E. M. Forster (Edward Morgan Forster (1879 - 1970)): “Aspects of the Novel” (1927)

“Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.” -Ernest Holmes (Ernest Shurtleff Holmes (1887 - 1960))

“Let one therefore keep the mind pure, for what a man thinks, that he becomes.” -Author Unknown: “The Upanishads”

“Where does a thought go when it’s forgotten?” -Sigmund Freud (1856 - 1939)

“No mind is much employed on the present. Recollection and anticipation fill up almost all our moments.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“The finest thought runs the risk of being irrevocably forgotten if we do not write it down.” -Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860): “Essays of Arthur Schopenhauer” (as translated by T. Bailey Saunders (1851)), ‘The Art of Literature: On Thinking for One’s Self’

“Think only about what you want . . . never dwell on what you don’t want.” -Shane K. Hughes

“When all men think alike, no one thinks very much.” -Walter Lippmann (1889 - 1974): as quoted in “Speakers Encyclopedia” (1955)

“Good impulses are naught, unless they become good actions.” -Joseph Joubert (1754 - 1824), as quoted in Paul Auster, translator: “The Notebooks of Joseph Joubert” (1883)

“We seem to do most of our thinking in our minds.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Avoid destructive thinking. Improper negative thoughts sink people. A ship can sail around the world many, many times, but just let enough water get into the ship and it will sink.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.” -Author Unknown

“Nurture your mind with great thoughts; to believe in the heroic makes heroes.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881): “Coningsby” (1844), book 3, chapter I

“We can do only what we think we can do. We can be only what we think we can be. We can have only what we think we can have. What we do, what we are, what we have, all depend on what we think.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“What’s going on in the inside shows on the outside.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“The mind attracts the thing it dwells upon.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon ‘Napoleon’ Hill (1883 - 1970))

“A penny for your thoughts.” -Author Unknown

“Our best friends and our worst enemies are our thoughts.” -Frank Crane (1861 - 1928)

“We become what we think about.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon ‘Napoleon’ Hill (1883 - 1970))

“My thinking is first and last and always for the sake of my doing.” -William James (1842 - 1910): “The Principles of Psychology” (1890), Chapter 22

“We become what we think about most of the time, and that’s the strangest secret.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” -Author Unknown

“The biggest lesson I have ever learned is the stupendous importance of what we think. If I knew what you think, I would know what you are, for your thoughts make you what you are; by changing our thoughts, we can change our lives.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

“If you change your way of thinking, you change your life.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Such as are your habitual thoughts, such also will be the character of your mind.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus (C.E. 26 April 121 - C.E. 180))

“I realize that I will be, when my life’s labor is complete, the product of my thoughts.” -George Albert Smith

“A man is literally what he thinks.” -James Lane Allen (1849 - 1925)

“Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don’t count on harvesting Golden Delicious.” -Bill Meyer

“Few minds wear out; more rust out.” -Christian Nestell Bovee (1820 - 1904): “Intuitions and Summaries of Thought” (1862), volume 1

“If we examine our thoughts, we shall find them always occupied with the past and the future.” -Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

“Life is but thought.” -Sara Teasdale (Sara Teasdale Filsinger (1884 - 1933))

“Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“An open mind is all very well in its way but it ought not to be so open that there is no keeping anything in or out of it. It should be capable of shutting its doors sometimes, or it may be found a little drafty.” -Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902)

“If we keep an open mind, too much is likely to fall into it.” -Natalie Clifford Barney (1876 - 1972)

“What you think about you bring about.” -Author Unknown

“Training and managing your own mind is the most important skill you could ever own, in terms of both happiness and success.” -T. Harv Eker

“Happy thoughts are half of your health.” -Author Unknown

“You are free to think thoughts of worry or joy, and whatever you choose will attract the same kind back to you. Worry attracts worry. Joy attracts joy.” -Rhonda Byrne

It is the mind that maketh good or ill,
That maketh wretch or happy, rich or poor.
by Edmund Spenser (1552 - 1599)

“Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment.” -Ira Gassen

“Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change.” -Author Unknown

“Thoughts have power. Thoughts are energy. You can make your world or break it by your thinking.” -Susan Taylor

“Ultimate human power is not in our possessions, but in our minds.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: Sometimes you have to think outside your mind . . .

“Man is made or unmade by himself . . . In the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace. By the right choice and true application of thought, man ascends to the Divine Perfection; by the abuse and wrong application of thought, he descends below the level of the beast. Between these two extremes are all the grades of character, and man is their maker and master.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912): “As a Man Thinketh” (1903)

“You become what you think about all day long.” -Author Unknown

“Thought creates character.” -Annie Bessant (1847 - 1933)

“Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life. If you continue to believe as you have always believed, you will continue to act as you have always acted. If you continue to act as you have always acted, you will continue to get what you have always gotten. If you want different results in your life or your work, all you have to do is change your mind.” -Author Unknown

“The thoughts we choose to think are the tools we use to paint the canvas of our lives.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017))

“What you think about comes about.” -Author Unknown

“What you think means more than anything else in your life. More than you earn, more than where you live, more than you social position, and more than what anyone else may think about you.” -George M. Adams (George Matthew Adams (1878 - 1962))

“A thought is a thing as real as a cannonball.” -Joseph Joubert (1754 - 1824), as quoted in Paul Auster, translator: “The Notebooks of Joseph Joubert” (1883)

“The secret of living a life of excellence is merely a matter of thinking thoughts of excellence. Really, it’s a matter of programming our minds with the kind of information that will set us free.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“You are what you think.” -Author Unknown

“Our life is what our thoughts make it. A man will find that as he alters his thoughts toward things and other people, things and other people will alter towards him.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“If you can think it, you can do it.” -Author Unknown

“You are today where your thoughts have brought you. You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Your life is a reflection of your thoughts. Think well.” -Danielle Pierre

This is MFOL! - and that is pretty much all of our thoughts on thinking . . .

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Mealtimes and Eating

7/13/2021

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Picture of people at a long table eating a meal of spaghetti, salad, and water

“’Tis substantial happiness to eat.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “As You Like It” (1599)

“Nicko! Don’t play with the food! When I was your age, we didn’t have food!” -Lainie Kazan, in the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” (19 April 2002)

“The first of all considerations is that our meals shall be fun as well as fuel.” -André Simon

Soup Fork

There was a young lady from Cork
Who went at her soup with a fork.
     When her parents looked pained,
     She proudly explained,
“That’s the way they eat soup in New York.”

by Ogden Nash (Frederick Ogden ‘Ogden’ Nash (1902 - 1971))

Overheard: I’m so full that I couldn’t possibly eat another bite . . . oh, look, dessert!

“Unless you live alone in a cave or hermitage, cooking and eating are social activities: even hermit monks have one communal meal a month. The sharing of food is the basis of social life, and to many people it is the only kind of social life worth participating in.” -Laurie Colwin

Mrs. Mannerly: What would be the proper thing to say if, in carving the duck, it should skid off the platter and into your neighbor’s lap?
Mrs. Learner: Be very courteous and say, “May I trouble you for that duck?”

When should we begin eating? Wait until everyone has been seated, grace has been said, and everyone has been served before beginning to eat. At formal dinners, people often start eating only after the host, guest of honor, or other person with the highest social status or rank in the group has begun eating.

Alfie: What did one plate say to the other plate?
Flora: “It looks like lunch is on me again!”

In Elizabethan England, the spoon was such a novelty and such a prized rarity that people carried their own folding spoons to banquets.

“It’s okay to play with your food.” -Emeril Lagasse

“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.” -Calvin Trillin

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Arthur.
Arthur, who?
Arthur any leftovers?

Donald: What is the best thing about eating a hippopotamus?
Arnold: The mountains and mountains of leftovers.

Eat slowly: only men in rags
     And gluttons old in sin
Mistake themselves for carpet bags
     And tumble victuals in.
-Walter Raleigh (Walter Alexander Raleigh (1861 -1922)): “Laughter from a Cloud” (1923)

“They say fingers were made before forks, and hands before knives.” -Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745)

France’s Louis XIV (1638 - 1715) was recorded as eating “four soups, a pheasant, a partridge, a plate of salad, sliced mutton with garlic, two lumps of ham, a plate of pastries, fruits, and preserves” at one sitting.

“Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper.” -Adelle Davis

“A man should think less of what he eats and more with whom he eats because no food is so satisfying as good company.” -Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)

Overheard at the dinner table: “Eat your cookies, or you won’t get any vegetables!”

A Few Basic Table Manners
- Say grace before meals.
- Ask others to pass food rather than reaching far or awkwardly for it.
- Do not talk with a mouth full of food.
- Sit up straight.
- Keep elbows off table.
What can you add to this list?

If we were not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?

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Table Talk

Said Madam Goose to Mister Pig:
     “My friend, I really feel
You should be told you eat too much -
     Your manners aren’t genteel.”

Said Mister Pig: “Your kind advice
     Is really of no use -
A Pig’s a Pig, you know, my dear,
     And not a Perfect Goose.”

by Elizabeth Moody

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Getting fussy eaters to eat is easy. Just wrap spaghetti around meatballs, and say they’re hot yo-yo’s.

Mary

Mary had a little lamb,
     A lobster and some prunes,
A glass of juice, a piece of pie
     A plate of macaroons.
She gobbled up a sponge cake,
     And what else we don’t know.
But when they carried Mary out
     Her face was white as snow.

by Author Unknown

“A man seldom thinks with more earnestness of anything than he does of his dinner.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

The town of Gainesville, Georgia, United States of America - known as the chicken capital of the world - has a local ordinance that makes eating chicken with a fork illegal.

“Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.” -Fran Lebowitz

Like the goodness of the five loaves and two fishes,
     Which God divided among the five thousand men,
May the blessing of the King who so divided
     Be upon our share of this common meal.
by Author Unknown

Good table manners start before we even get to the table, when we wash our hands, make sure we are dressed and groomed properly, and put aside our things that ought not be brought to the table, which might include cell phones, books, toys, and pets.

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Table Manners

The Goops they lick their fingers,
     And the Goops they lick their knives;
They spill their broth on the table-cloth;
     Oh, they live untidy lives.

The Goops they talk while eating,
     And loud and fast they chew,
So that is why I am glad that I
     Am not a Goop. Are you?

by Gelett Burgess (Frank Gelett ‘Gelett’ Burgess (1866 - 1951))

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Dear Lord,
Thank you for this food.
Bless the hands that prepared it.
Bless it to our use and us to your service,
And make us ever mindful of the needs of others.
Through Christ our Lord we pray.
Amen.
-Author Unknown

Riddle: What are two things you should not try to have for breakfast?
Solution: Lunch and dinner.

Why is it that whenever someone attempts to catch something that’s falling off the table, he or she always manages to knock something else over? Sounds amusing, but could it be that perhaps our tables are populated with all sorts of things that have multiplied themselves beyond necessity?

Gabe: How do you eat an elephant?
Gabriel: One bite at a time.

Overheard: I always eat the broken cookies first, because I feel sad for them.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Justin
Justin, who?
Just in time for dinner!

“To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art.” -François de La Rochefoucauld (also known as François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680))

I Can Help Do Dishes

Swishety-swish the dishes go
     In the water to and fro
Mother washes while I try
     To get the dishes very dry!

by Author Unknown

“I detest . . . anything over-cooked, over-herbed, over-sauced, over elaborate. Nothing can go very far wrong at table as long as there is honest bread, butter, olive oil, a generous spirit, lively appetites, and attention to what we are eating.” -Sybille Bedford

“We must eat to live and live to eat.” -Henry Fielding (1707 - 1754)

We thank Thee Lord for giving us
     Thy gift of bread and meat
We thank Thee too - a little more -
     That we are here to eat.
-Leverett Lyon

A woman said, “I have changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, ‘Meatloaf’ or ‘Pot Roast’ or ‘Steak and Vegetables’ or ‘Chicken and Dumplings’ or ‘Beef Pot Pie.’ However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes. If you look in my freezer now, you’ll see a whole new set of labels. You’ll find dinners with neat little tags that say: ‘Whatever,’ ‘Anything,’ ‘I Don’t Know,’ ‘I Don’t Care,’ ‘Something Good,’ or ‘Food.’ My frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it is there waiting.”

Heavenly Father, bless us,
     And keep us all alive.
There’s ten of us to dinner,
     And not enough for five.
-Author Unknown

Oliver: What is a napkin?
Olivia: A sleeping relative.

In 1808, dinner was a late meal and supper was a snack before going to bed.

Names for Various Mealtimes
- Breakfast
- Brunch
- Lunch
- Dinner
- Supper
- Fourth Meal
- Snack Time
- Tea Time
- Can you name any others?
- What times of day are these mealtimes held?
- What is your favorite mealtime?

“One meal a day is enough for a lion, and it ought to suffice for a man.” -George Fordyce (1736 - 1802): as attributed in Maturin M. Ballou: “Treasury of Thought” (1884), page 125

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peas.
Peas, who?
Peas pass the butter!

“At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965))

Gourmet Billy

There was a gourmet named Billy
Who dined from Beijing to Philly.
     His only complaint
     About the places he ate
Was that the chili in Chile was chilly.

by Author Unknown

Jack: What can you serve but not eat?
Jacques: A tennis ball.

Overheard: Why does cooking take six hours, and eating three seconds, and washing dishes seven days and seven nights?

Table Graces

God is great and God is good;
     Let us thank Him for our food.
By his hand we all are fed;
     Thank You, God, for daily bread.
Amen.

by Author Unknown

Old Man of Louter

There was an Old Man of Louter,
Who dined at four and a quarter,
     But in eating his chowder,
     He grew louder and louder
Till they tossed him out of Louter.

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966): “That Isn’t Even Funny”

‘Stone Soup’ is an old folk story in which hungry strangers persuade local people of a town to give them food. It is usually told as a lesson in cooperation, especially amid scarcity. The story often goes like this: Some travelers come to a village, carrying nothing more than an empty cooking pot. Upon their arrival, the villagers are unwilling to share any of their food stores with the hungry travelers. Then the travelers go to a stream and fill the pot with water, drop a large stone in it, and place it over a fire. One of the villagers becomes curious and asks what they are doing. The travelers answer that they are making ‘stone soup,’ which tastes wonderful, although it still needs a little bit of garnish to improve the flavor, which they are missing. The villager does not mind parting with a few carrots to help them out, so that is added to the soup. Another villager walks by, inquiring about the pot, and the travelers again mention their stone soup, which has not reached its full potential yet. The villager hands them a little bit of seasoning to help them out. More and more villagers walk by, each adding another ingredient. Finally, a delicious and nourishing pot of soup is enjoyed by everyone, traveling strangers and villagers alike.

Sing a Song of Washing Up

Sing a song of washing up
     Water hot as hot
Cups and saucers, plates and spoons
     Dishes - such a lot
Work the dishcloth round and round
     Wash them clean as clean
Polish with a dry white cloth
     How busy we have been!

by Author Unknown

“One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating.” -Luciano Pavarotti

This is MFOL! . . . the website for grownups who play with their food . . . and the children who frown upon this strange behavior . . .

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Adversities and Persevering

7/9/2021

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Picture of a raccoon climbing out of a garbage can in a park.

When you think your life is bad, just remember this furry fellow, who lives in a garbage can. Of course, your expectations in life may be a little different than his . . .

“If you are ever in real trouble, don’t panic. Sit down and think about it. Remember two things, always. There must be some way out of it, and there must be humor in it somewhere.” -Louise Fitzhugh (1928 - 1974)

“Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever . . .” -Isak Dinesen (pseudonym of Karen Christenze von Blixen-Finecke (1885 - 1962))

“Our way is not soft grass, it’s a mountain path with lots of rocks. But it goes upwards, forward, toward the Sun.” -Ruth Westheimer (born 1928)

“Life can be wildly tragic at times, and I’ve had my share. But whatever happens to you, you have to keep a slightly comic attitude. In the final analysis, you have got not to forget to laugh.” -Katharine Hepburn (Katharine Houghton Hepburn (1907 - 2003))

“Some falls are means the happier to arise.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Cymbeline, King of Britain” (1609), Act IV, scene 2, line 2822; words of character Caius Lucius, general of the Roman forces

“I truly believe that we can overcome any hurdle that lies before us and create the life we want to live. I have seen it happen time and time again.” -Gillian Anderson (Gillian Leigh Anderson (born 1968))

“The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.” -Author Unknown

“It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness.” [translation to English]
“Confragosa in fastigium dignitatis via est.” [original Latin]
-Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65)): letter to Lucilius

“Life is tough, but I’m tougher.” -Author Unknown

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” -Frank Leahy (1908 - 1973): as quoted in the “Daily Mail” (4 May 1954) of Charleston, West Virginia

“No man lives without jostling and being jostled; in all ways he has to elbow himself through the world, giving and receiving offence.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881): ‘Sir Walter Scott,’ published in the “London and Westminster Review” (12 November 1838)

“If things go wrong, don’t go with them.” -Roger Babson (Roger Ward Babson (1875 - 1967))

“Trouble can always be borne when it is shared.” -Katherine Paterson (born 1932): “The Tale of the Mandarin Ducks” (1 January 1990)

“Determination, patience, and courage are the only things needed to improve any situation.” -Author Unknown

“Remember, if you ever get into a difficult situation, you can always count on your fingers and toes!” -Author Unknown

“The highest grades of humanity have passed through the millstones more than once.” -Henry S. Haskins (Henry Stanley Haskins (1875 - 1940)): as published in Albert Jay Nock, editor: “Meditations in Wall Street” (1940), page 92

“By perseverance the snail reached the ark.” -Charles Spurgeon (Charles Haddon Spurgeon (1834 - 1892)): “The Salt-cellars: Being a Collection of Proverbs, Together with Homely Notes Thereon” (1889), ‘Proverbs,’ page 89

“Greatness is best measured by how well an individual responds to the happenings in life that appear to be totally unfair, unreasonable, and undeserved.” -Marvin J. Ashton (Marvin Jeremy Ashton (1915 - 1994)): as quoted in “Ensign” (November 1984), page 22

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles. But most of them never happened.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)): as attributed in “Reader’s Digest” (April 1934) and in Alex Ayres, editor: “The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain” (1987)

“No life is so hard that you can’t make it easier by the way you take it.” -Ellen Glasgow (1873 - 1945)

“Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties.” -C. H. Spurgeon (Charles Haddon Spurgeon (1834 - 1892))

“Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887)

“People need trouble - a little frustration to sharpen the spirit on, toughen it. Artists do; I don’t mean you need to live in a rat hole or gutter, but you have to learn fortitude, endurance. Only vegetables are happy.” -William Faulkner (William Cuthbert ‘Will’ Faulkner (1897 - 1962))

“Adversity in immunological doses has its uses; more than that crushes.” -John Updike (John Hoyer Updike (1932 - 2009))

“There are no hopeless situations; there are only men who have grown helpless about them.” -Clare Boothe Luce (1903 - 1987)

“The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can man be perfected without trials.” -Confucius (K’ung Fu-tzu or K’ung Ch’iu (about 551 B.C.E. - about 479 B.C.E.))

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” -Bernice Reagon (Bernice Johnson Reagon (born 1942))

“Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I’ll show you someone who has overcome adversity.” -Lou Holtz (Louis Leo ‘Lou’ Holtz (born 1937))

Square your shoulders to the world,
Be not the kind to quit -
It’s not the load that weighs you down,
But the way you carry it.
-Author Unknown

“Every adversity can make you bitter or better.” -Mary Kay Mueller (born 1953)

“History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.” -B. C. Forbes (Robert Charles ‘Bertie’ Forbes (1880 - 1954)): as quoted in “Forbes” (1958)

Picture of a small green plant with a white flower, sprouting through a crack in black asphalt pavement.

“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.” -Peter Marshall (1902 - 1949)

“If your determination is fixed, I do not counsel you to despair. Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed, not by strength, but by perseverance; yonder palace was raised by single stones, yet you see its height and spaciousness. He that shall walk with vigor three hours a day, will pass in seven years a space equal to the circumference of the globe.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): “Rasselas” (1759)

“For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Proverbs,’ chapter 24, verse 16

“Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than it was before.” -James Buckham (1858 - 1908): as quoted in Mary Allette Ayer, editor: “Keep up Your Courage: Key-Notes to Success” (1908)

“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940))

“If you get up one more time than you fall, you will make it through.” -Author Unknown

“The brook would lose its song if you removed the rocks.” -Fred Beck

“While troubles will come, they are always temporary - nothing lasts forever. Thus, there is the famous legend that King Solomon, the wisest man of all times, had a ring inscribed with the words, ‘This too shall pass.’” -Aryeh Kaplan (Aryeh Moshe Eliyahu Kaplan (1934 - 1983))

“Trying times are no time to quit trying.” -Author Unknown

“Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.” -Shari R. Barr

“People don’t ever seem to realize that doing what’s right’s no guarantee against misfortune.” -William McFee (1881 - 1966)

“Persistence in the face of adversity builds your self-confidence and your ability to persist even more.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.” -Will Rogers (William Penn Adair ‘Will’ Rogers (1879 - 1935))

“Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which, in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant.” -Quintus Horatius Flaccus (also known as Horace (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)): “Satires”

“The mind which does not wholly sink under misfortune rises above it, more lofty than before, and is strengthened by affliction.” -Richard Chenevix Trench (known simply as Richard Trench until 1873 (1807 - 1886)): “An Essay Upon National Character” (1832), book I, part II, chapter III

“The rewards for those who persevere far exceed the pain that precedes the victory.” -Karen Bliss Livingston

“Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.” -William Ellery Channing (1780 - 1842): “Self-Culture: An address introductory to the Franklin lectures, delivered at Boston, September, 1838” (1839), page 42

“There is no education like adversity.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“I have never known anyone to achieve anything without overcoming adversity.” -Lou Holtz (Louis Leo ‘Lou’ Holtz (born 1937))

“Life has its peaks and its valleys.” -Author Unknown

“Nothing lasts forever - not even your troubles.” -Arnold H. Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“Never let life’s hardships disturb you . . . no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages.” -Nichiren Daishonen (1222 - 1282)

“Defeat is nothing but the first step to something better.” -Author Unknown

“One of the most difficult things everyone has to learn is that for your entire life you must keep fighting and adjusting if you hope to survive. No matter who you are or what your position is you must keep fighting for whatever it is you desire to achieve.” -George H. Allen (George Herbert Allen, Senior (1918 - 1990))

“Those who turn back know only the ordeal, but those who persevere remember the adventure.” -Milo Arnold

“Adversity is another way to measure the greatness of individuals. I never had a crisis that didn’t make me stronger.” -Lou Holtz (Louis Leo ‘Lou’ Holtz (born 1937))

“The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.” -Molière (pseudonym of Jean-Baptiste Poquelin (1622 - 1673))

“What on Earth would a man do with himself if something did not stand in his way?” -H. G. Wells (Herbert George Wells (1866 - 1946))

“Life begins to become truly livable once we have learned how to get back up after we stumble and fall. The mastery of that knowledge may come about only following many falls but it finally comes to us and softens the pain and humiliation on each occasion that we stumble after that, and so we are able to face life with some courage because of what we have learned after falling. Everything eventually becomes easier with time and experience.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“There is no chance, no destiny, no fate that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.” -Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850 - 1919)

“Most of the important things in this world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955))): as quoted in Joseph O’Day: “The Ring of Truth” (2004)

“Strong men are made by opposition; like kites they go up against the wind.” -Frank Harris (born James Thomas Harris (1855 - 1931)): “Oscar Wilde” (1916), chapter 6, page 59

“Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” -Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774): “The Vicar of Wakefield” (1766)

“He that falls to-day, may be up again to-morrow.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2097

“If there is no struggle there is no progress.” -Frederick Douglass (pseudonym of Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey (1817 - 1895)): personal letter (30 March 1849) to Gerrit Smith

“I admire people who choose to shine even after all the storms they’ve been through.” -Author Unknown

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger (Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger (born 1947)) at http://www.schwarzenegger.com/

“When you get into a tight place, and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a moment longer, never give up then - for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” -Harriet Beecher Stowe (Harriet Elizabeth Beecher Stowe (1811 - 1896)): “Old Town Folks” (1869), chapter 39: ‘Last Days in Cloudland’

“Endure, and preserve yourself for better things.” -Vergil (Publius Vergilius Maro, also known as Virgil (70 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.))

“Life, misfortunes, isolation, abandonment, poverty, are battlefields which have their heroes; obscure heroes, sometimes greater than the illustrious heroes.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap, whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be content to take their own and depart.” -Solon (636 B.C.E. - 558 B.C.E.) (similar quotation attributed to Socrates)

“Fight the good fight with all thy might.” -John S. B. Monsell (John Samuel Bewley Monsell (1811 - 1875)): “Fight the Good Fight” (1863) hymn

“However hard the road, however difficult today, tomorrow things will be better.” -Benjamin E. Mays (Benjamin Elijah Mays (1894 - 1984)): as quoted in Dorothy Winbush Riley: “My Soul Looks Back, ’Less I Forget” (1995)

“The work of many of the greatest men, inspired by duty, has been done amidst suffering and trial and difficulty. They have struggled against the tide, and reached the shore exhausted.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“With every victory over adversity, you grow in wisdom, stature, and experience. You become a better, bigger person each time you meet a problem.” -W. Clement Stone (William Clement Stone (1902 - 2002))

“I would never have amounted to anything were it not for adversity. I was forced to come up the hard way.” -J. C. Penney (James Cash Penney (1875 - 1971))

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” -Dolly Parton (born 1946): as quoted in Bob Phillips: “Phillips’ Book of Great Thoughts” (1993), page 264

“Fresh activity is the only means of overcoming adversity.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

Just remember, it’s all going to make for a great story someday . . . now who’s ready to go out into the big wide world and Make Fun Of Life!?

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Posture and Gait

7/1/2021

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Picture of a smiling happy woman in a library, balancing a book on top of her head, one of the classic techniques said to be helpful in developing good standing posture and good walking posture

“Good posture is the one most important thing anybody can do now to look better.” -Helen Gurley Brown (1922 - 2012)

“Think of good posture as your body’s projection of a positive message to those you meet.” -Author Unknown

“The Kraken was somewhat obsessed with posture. As for Lily, she barely gave it a second thought. In her opinion, it was better to read books than balance them. That’s what they were designed for, after all. And if you wanted to wear something on your head, there was a perfectly good item designed for that too: it was called a hat.” -Peter Bunzl: “Cogheart” (1 September 2016)

“Our nonverbal behavior (including posture) gives away our inner personality and reflects our inner attitude.” -Cindy Ann Peterson: “My Style, My Way: Top Experts Reveal How to Create Yours Today” (17 January 2011)

“Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level.” -Max L. Forman (Max Leon Forman (1909 - 1990))

Posture and Gait Facts
- Posture is the position in which a person holds his or her body.
- Posture is assumed in standing, walking, sitting, and in positions for activities such as work and athletics.
- Gait is the manner or style of walking of a person.
- Gait is standing posture plus movement of the arms, legs, torso, and entire body during walking, to remain balanced in an upright position while covering distance.
- Physical exercise to strengthen muscles and improve motor skills can help correct bad posture and gait.
- Posture and gait can be improved through learning and practice.

“By adopting a certain physical posture, a resonant chord is struck in spirit.” -Bruce Lee (pseudonym of Lee Jun Fan (1940 - 1973))

“I have very bad posture.” -Kurt Cobain (Kurt Donald Cobain (1967 - 1994))

Tips to Improve Posture and Gait
- Stand or sit in a chair in front of a mirror and practice good posture.
- Do regular and varied exercises to help strengthen the back and other body areas.
- Take periodic breaks to walk and move around and stretch, especially when staying seated, standing, or in other positions for long periods of time.
- Move head to look away from computer screens and other devices periodically, to reduce strain from holding body continually in one position.
- Study other people’s posture as they sit, stand, walk, and are in other positions.
- Read any available information about posture and gait.
- Talk to knowledgeable people about posture and gait, as for example, doctors and sports coaches.

“Great posture never goes out of style.” -Cindy Ann Peterson: “My Style, My Way: Top Experts Reveal How to Create Yours Today” (17 January 2011)

“If you stand at all, stand tall.” -James I (1566 - 1625)

Tips for Good Standing Posture
- Stand with feet shoulder-width apart.
- Place one foot slightly ahead of the other.
- Bend the knees slightly, but do not lock them.
- Keep back straight.
- Hold shoulders back and relaxed.
- Keep arms and hands relaxed and still at sides.
- The ears should be directly above the shoulders, which are directly above the hips, knees, and ankles, with all features forming a straight, vertical line.

“Be sure to put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

Tips for Good Sitting Posture
- Keep the back straight.
- Keep shoulders back and down.
- The soles of the feet should be flat on the floor.
- Crossing the legs for long periods of time can obstruct circulation, possibly causing swollen legs and contributing to varicose veins.

“Sit up straight, listen, and participate.” -Pat Summit

Picture of a man walking with head lowered and projected forward well past the chest, shoulders slumped, and stomach out, a posture that might be improved through learning and practicing good posture while walking, also known as gait

“Even if your posture has been a problem for years, it’s possible to make improvements. Rounded shoulders and a hunched stance may seem like they’re set in stone by the time we reach a certain age, and you may feel you’ve missed the boat for better posture. But there’s a good chance you can still stand up taller.” -Harvard Health Publishing of Harvard Medical School: “Is It Too Late to Save Your Posture?” (1 December 2019) at https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/is-it-too-late-to-save-your-posture

“Posture is paramount.” -Cindy Ann Peterson

“My posture has changed. I walk with my head down and shoulders slumped. Suddenly I carry myself as if I’m ashamed of something.” -Randy Harrison

Tips for Good Walking Posture
- Keep the head and neck straight.
- Step with the heel of the foot first and then move to the toes.
- Keep at a comfortable space between steps, striding neither with steps exaggeratedly too long or too short.

“Always walk with style and finesse.” -Cindy Ann Peterson

“Healthy posture is based on natural positions that balance and support your skeletal system’s curves and weight-bearing abilities against the force of gravity.” -Cindy Ann Peterson

“People don’t realize that when they ‘throw out’ their back, it’s often because of weak abs. These muscles are essential for lower-back strength and good posture.” -Sylvester Stallone

“If you’re a fish, and you want to be a fish stick, you must have very good posture.” -Mitch Hedberg (Mitchell Lee ‘Mitch’ Hedberg (1968 - 2005))

“Stress can also lead to poor posture because it causes you to breathe more shallowly, which leads to slumping.” -Cindy Ann Peterson

“Never bend your head! Always hold it high! Look the world straight in the face!” -Helen Keller (Helen Adams Keller (1880 - 1968)), speaking to a five-year-old child

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The Way to Walk

It is a well-known fact that very few people know how to walk properly. Walking, when one knows how, is not fatiguing, as most people think. On the other hand, it is relaxing, because it brings into play almost all the muscles in the body. Here’s how.

Stand at attention with your shoulders thrown well back, your head up, and your arms straight at your side. Now step forward with the right leg, the heel of the foot striking the ground first; then another step, bringing the left foot directly into line with the right. Don’t try to take large steps. Walk just as naturally as possible, with your arms swinging loosely and your legs working from the hips.

If you keep your back straight and your head pushed back as if you were trying to touch an imaginary wall with it, you’ll find your posture improving greatly. If you don’t do anything else, avoid the habit of stooping. It is bad for the figure and it prevents free action in the arms.

Walk every time you can. Now is the season for hikes. Let’s go!

by Author Unknown: as published in “Sunshine: A Soulful Magazet” (1951), February, Volume xxviii, No. 2, page 21

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“A good stance and posture reflect a proper state of mind.” -Morihei Ueshiba

Common Causes of Bad Posture
- Carrying excess body weight.
- A sedentary lifestyle.
- Lack of muscle tone.
- Sitting for extended periods of time.
- Using poor form when walking or exercising.
- Prolonged use of electronic devices.
- Footwear, possibly including flip-flips, sandals, and shoes that fit improperly.
- Emotions and feelings, including poor self-esteem, low level of self-confidence, and bad attitude.
What else might cause bad posture?

“You project a confident image through good body posture.” -Cindy Ann Peterson: “My Style, My Way: Top Experts Reveal How to Create Yours Today” (17 January 2011)

“Never slouch, as doing so compresses the lungs, overcrowds other vital organs, rounds the back, and throws you off balance.” -Joseph Pilates (Joseph Hubertus Pilates (1883 - 1967))

People Who Help People with Posture Issues
- Chiropractors.
- Physical therapists or physiotherapists.
- Workout coaches.
Can you think of anyone else?

“No amount of high fashion can make up for a lifetime of poor posture.” -Cindy Ann Peterson: “My Style, My Way: Top Experts Reveal How to Create Yours Today” (17 January 2011)

“Posture reflects your attitude.” -Cindy Ann Peterson: “My Style, My Way: Top Experts Reveal How to Create Yours Today” (17 January 2011)

Posture and Gait Quiz
- Is good posture simply sitting pretty and standing tall?
- How would you describe your posture?
- Can you name 3 people with good posture that you could copy?

“Good posture can be beneficial to your health.” -Cindy Ann Peterson

“I’d love to look like my mum when I am her age. She taught ballet for years, and my attitude to exercise and fitness has definitely been influenced by her. She’s 84 now, and I’ve watched how well she has aged, and a lot of that is to do with her fantastic posture.” -Sarah Parish

“Unless some misfortune has made it impossible, everyone can have good posture.” -Loretta Young

“To attain good posture, you can practice standing and walking while balancing a book on your head. However, you might not want to use fruit such as an apple instead of a book, just in case William Tell might be lurking somewhere nearby.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Good posture can be successfully acquired only when the entire mechanism of the body is under perfect control.” -Joseph Pilates (Joseph Hubertus Pilates (1883 - 1967))

“Your posture is the key to your personal and professional foundation.” -Cindy Ann Peterson: “My Style, My Way: Top Experts Reveal How to Create Yours Today” (17 January 2011)

“Bad posture shows uncertainty and a lack of confidence and ability. Good posture conveys confidence and an air of capability.” -Cindy Ann Peterson

“Posture is a leadership language.” -Janna Cachola: “Lead By Choice, Not By Checks”

“By taking good care of your posture now, you will enjoy and savor lifelong health benefits and beauty.” -Cindy Ann Peterson: “My Style, My Way: Top Experts Reveal How to Create Yours Today” (17 January 2011)

“Use proper posture to realize your professional image potential.” -Cindy Ann Peterson: “My Style, My Way: Top Experts Reveal How to Create Yours Today” (17 January 2011)

“Change your posture, change your life!” -D. Nicole Williams

Much more mind-boggling coming up next . . . on MFOL!

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Best Wishes and Toasts

6/26/2021

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Picture of brightly-colored flowers with the words, ‘We Wish You Every Happiness! Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net’

“I see only blue skies and green lights for you.” -Author Unknown

“Love many, trust a few, always paddle your own canoe!” -Author Unknown

I will not wish thee riches,
nor the glow of greatness,
but that wherever thou go
some weary heart
shall gladden at thy smile,
or shadowed life
know sunshine for a while.
And so thy path shall be
a track of light,
like angels’ footsteps
passing through the night.
-Author Unknown: words inscribed on a church wall in Upwaltham, England

“May every sunrise bring you hope, and may every sunset bring you peace.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

The Four H’s

Happy are we met,
Happy have we been,
Happy may we part, and
Happy meet again.

by Author Unknown: as quoted in Dorothea Ruggles-Brise, compiler: “The Goldfinch, Or New Modern Songster” (1782), ‘Toasts and Sentiments,’ page 291

“I wish for you a life of wealth, health, and happiness; a life in which you give to yourself the gift of patience, the virtue of reason, the value of knowledge, and the influence of faith in your own ability to dream about and achieve worthy rewards.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

An Irish Blessing

May the sun shine,
     All day long,
Everything go right,
     And nothing wrong.
May those you love
     Bring love back to you,
And may all the wishes
     You wish come true!

by Author Unknown

“May you have a long, fulfilling life.” -Author Unknown

A Toast to Us

A toast to us, my good round friends,
     To bless the things we eat;
For it has been full many a year
     Since we have seen our feet.
Yet who would lose a precious pound
     By trading sweets for sours?
It takes a mighty girth indeed
     To hold such hearts as ours.

by Wallace Irwin (1875 - 1959)

“May your life be as smooth as butter.” -Author Unknown

“I wish you all the best on your new and exciting adventure.” -Author Unknown

I Wish Thee

I wish thee health,
     I wish thee wealth,
I wish thee gold in store,
     I wish thee Heaven upon Earth -
What could I wish thee more?
     May your troubles be little ones.

by Author Unknown

“May your strengths be greater than your weaknesses.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Be well.

“Live long and prosper.” -Spock (fictional character portrayed by actor Leonard Nimoy (1931 - 2015)): “Star Trek,” season 2, episode 1: “Amok Time” (1968); based on the “Star Trek” series created by Eugene Wesley ‘Gene’ Roddenberry (1921 - 1991)

Imagine you are sending a congratulatory email, posting a message on someone’s page on a social website, making a dinner party or wedding toast, creating a home-made greeting card, calling a relative or business associate, signing a school yearbook . . . what would you write or say? Examples can be found in this ‘Best Wishes and Toasts’ article on MFOL!

“I wish you all very good lives.” -Plutarch (C.E. 46 - C.E. 120)

The Arithmetic of Life

May your life be like arithmetic:
Joys added,
Sorrows subtracted,
Friends multiplied,
Love un-divided,
Blessings to infinity.

by Author Unknown

“May you find a moment of joy in each day to come!” -Author Unknown

“May all of your horrible beginnings have wonderful endings.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

A Thanksgiving Day Dinner Toast

Here’s to the day when first
     The Yankees acknowledged
Heaven’s good gifts
     With Thank’ees.

by Author Unknown

“May your today be better than your yesterday, but not as good as your tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“To your health!” [translation to English]
Sláinte! [original Irish Gaelic]
-Author Unknown

“May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you His favor and give you His peace.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Book of Numbers,’ chapter 6, verse 26

Take care!

“Long life to you.” [translation to English]
“Fad saol agat.” [original Irish Gaelic]
-Author Unknown

Question: What is big and gray, and carries flowers to cheer you up when you do not feel well?
Answer: A Get-Well-Ephant!

“Here’s to the two great American birds! May you always have one on your table and the other in your pocket - the turkey and the eagle.” -Author Unknown

“May you fear no outer darkness, and know no lack of inner light.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“May God’s love be with you.” -Author Unknown

“May your life be so full of good people and good things that you never have to say goodbye to more than one of them at a time, so that no part of your life may ever be empty.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Blessed be.

“May the warmth of our affections survive the frosts of age.” -Author Unknown

“May your days be many and may you succeed in life beyond your greatest expectations!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

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Get Well Soon!

I’m in a 10der mood 2day
     & feel poetic, 2;
4 fun I’ll just - off a line
     & send it off 2U.

I’m sorry you’ve been 6 o long;
     Don’t B disconsol8;
But bear your ills with 42de,
     & they won’t seem so gr8.

by Author Unknown

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“Hail wedded love, mysterious law, true source of human happiness.” -John Milton (1608 - 1674)

“May you never have to eat your hat.” -Author Unknown

An Irish Blessing

May flowers always line your path
     and sunshine light your day.
May songbirds serenade you
    every step along the way.
May a rainbow run beside you
    in a sky that’s always blue.
And may happiness fill your heart
    each day your whole life through.

by Author Unknown

“May the rest of your life be the best of your life!” -Author Unknown

Overheard: May good things come your way!

Graduation

I do not know beneath what sky,
     Nor on what seas shall be thy fate;
I only know it shall be high,
     I only know it shall be great.

by Author Unknown

“I wish you well in your endeavors.” -Author Unknown

“May we be alive at this time next year!” [translation to English]
“Go mbeire muid beo ar an am seo aris!” [original Irish Gaelic]
-Author Unknown

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I Wish You All the Happiness

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I hope your dreams will all come true
I hope you find what works for you
I hope you live and never die
I hope you spread your wings and fly

And if you ever need a friend
I’ll be right here ’round the bend
’Cause I got my eyes on you
And all the crazy things you do

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I hope you finally find your truth
I hope you hold onto your youth
I hope you pass your days with a smile
I hope you travel many miles

I hope you never feel the hurt
Of all the pain that’s buried in the dirt
I hope you always find the time
To be with those who ease your mind

And if you ever need a friend
I’ll be with you ’til the end
’Cause I got my eyes on you
And all the beauty inside you

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

by Calvin Becker

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We wish all good things for you.

“May the most you wish for be the least you get!” -Jay O’Brian

Ships

There are strong ships
     And there are fast ships,
Among ships that sail the sea -
     But the best ships
Are friendships.
     So here’s to you,
And here’s to me,
     Good friends may we always be.

by Author Unknown

Have a beautiful life.

“We never eat [to] anybody’s health, always drink [to] it. Why should we not stand up now and then and eat a tart to somebody’s success?” -Jerome K. Jerome (Jerome Klapka Jerome (1859 - 1927)): “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow: A Book for an Idle Holiday” (1892)

In your life, may everything be good.

May the blessings of each day
Be the blessings you need most.
-Author Unknown

“May the hinges of friendship never rust, or the wings of love lose a feather.” -Edward Bannerman Ramsey (1793 - 1872): “Reminiscences of Scottish Life: A Toast”

Overheard: I hope you always find always find a reason to smile!

We are MFOL! . . . may we all keep thinking happy thoughts until the Universe becomes positively radiant with them . . . wow, look at how sparkly it is!

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Memory and Memories

6/19/2021

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Picture of a human hand with a piece of red string tied around the index finger as a reminder of something that should not be forgotten

“I remember things that happened sixty years ago, but if you ask me where I left my car keys five minutes ago, that’s sometimes a problem.” -Lou Thesz

“Occasionally I have to think like myself to remember where I put something.” -Sue S. Taylor

“To remember anything, it must be associated with something you already know. You must see it in your mind. Create action and detail to improve the image. It should be like, near, or opposite that which is to be remembered.” -Author Unknown

“When someone hands you their business card, write a short note on the back to help you remember that person.” -Corey Citron

“I love those random memories that make me smile no matter what’s going on in my life right now.” -Author Unknown

“The more often you share what you’ve learned, the stronger that information will become in your memory.” -Steve Brunkhorst

“Memory is a child walking along a seashore. You never know what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things.” -Pierce Harris

“Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.” -Author Unknown

“He who does not remember the past is condemned to forget where he parked.” -David Rudnitsky

“Memory is a record of your personal experience. It is a record of trial and error, defeat and success. Past failures will warn you against repeating them.” -Wilfred Peterson

“We didn’t realize we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun.” -Author Unknown

“People who ask me what I’m doing tomorrow probably assume that I even know what day of the week it is.” -Author Unknown

“Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, and the things you never want to lose.” -Kevin Arnold

“A memory is what is left when something happens and does not completely unhappen.” -Edward de Bono (born 1933)

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
I don’t know - I forgot my name!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Amnesia.
Amnesia, who?
Oh, you have it, too . . .

“Memory is merely the process of tuning into vibrations that have been left behind in space and time.” -Michio Kushi (1926 - 2014) and Edward Esko (born 1950): “Spiritual Journey” (1994), page 62

“Memories are timeless treasures of the heart.” -Author Unknown

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Nn Oo Pp Qq Rr Ss Tt Uu Vv Ww Xx Yy Zz

The following test was supposedly developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University. Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. (The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it.)

1. This is this cat.
2. This cat is.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fogey cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down. If you enjoyed this mental exercise, feel free to pass it on to your friends and frenemies.

Aa Ba Cc Dd Ee Ff Gg Hh Ii Jj Kk Ll Mm
l i v e ☆ l e a r n ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ l a u g h
Nn Oo Pp Qq Rr Ss Tt Uu Vv Ww Xx Yy Zz

“Not the power to remember, but its very opposite, the power to forget, is a necessary condition for our existence.” -Sholem Asch (1880 - 1957): “The Nazarene” (1939), page 3

Picture of a square piece of yellow paper with the word Remember written on it, held in place by a bright yellow smiley-face magnet

“Lord Dudley was one of the most absentminded men I think I ever met in society. One day he met me in the street, and invited me to meet myself. ‘Dine with me today, dine with me, and I will get Sydney Smith to meet you.’ I admitted the temptation he held out to me, but said I was engaged to meet him elsewhere.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845): as quoted in Herbert V. Prochnow and Herbert V. Prochnow, Junior, editors: “A Treasury of Humorous Quotations” (1969), page 1

“Most of us must learn a great deal every day in order to keep ahead of what we forget.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))

Jack: My memory is so bad . . .
Jane: How bad is it?
Jack: How bad is what?

“The advantage of a bad memory is that, several times over, one enjoys the same good things for the first time.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

Conditions Commonly Associated with Difficulty in Remembering
- Aging
- Being overwhelmed with information
- Lack of interest
- Overwork
- Stress and anxiety
- Trauma
Can you think of anything else?

“We have all forgot more, than we remember.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 5442

“How is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?” -François de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680): “Reflections; or, Sentences and Moral Maxims” (1678), maxim 313

“Some people described as being ‘absent-minded’ actually may be daydreaming or thinking of other things, and are not actually absent-minded, but rather ‘otherwardly-focused.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“You never realize what a good memory you have until you try to forget something.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980))

Ah, tell me not that memory
     Sheds gladness o’er the past;
What is recalled by faded flowers,
     Save that they did not last?
Were it not better to forget,
     Than but remember and regret?
-Letitia Elizabeth Landon (1802 - 1838): “Ethel Churchill; Or, The Two Brides” (1837), Volume II, page 201

“Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592))

My memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also . . . my memory is not as sharp as it used to be. And not only that . . . but my memory’s not as sharp as . . . something . . . I forget . . . what was I saying?

“They say memory is the first thing to go. The second thing to go is memory.” -George Takei

“If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.” -Edgar Allan Poe (1809 - 1849)

“I am so absent minded that sometimes in the middle of a sentence I . . .” -Author Unknown

“If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.” -E. Joseph Cossman (Eli Joseph Cossman (1918 - 2002))

“Memory is the treasury and guardian of all things.” -Cicero (Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)): “De Oratore,” I, 5

“Never let your memories be greater than your dreams.” -Doug Ivester

“Memories take us back, dreams take us forward.” -Author Unknown

“I am not my memories. I am my dreams.” -Terry Hostetler

“Teach me not the art of remembering, but the art of forgetting, for I remember things I do not wish to remember, but I cannot forget the things I wish to forget.” -Themistocles (524 B.C.E. - 459 B.C.E.): as quoted in Cicero: “De Finibus,” book ii, chapter 32

“‘The method of loci,’ an imaginal technique known to the ancient Greeks and Romans and described by Yates (1966) in her book “The Art of Memory” as well as by Luria (1969). In this technique the subject memorizes the layout of some building, or the arrangement of shops on a street, or any geographical entity which is composed of a number of discrete loci. When desiring to remember a set of items the subject ‘walks’ through these loci in their imagination and commits an item to each one by forming an image between the item and any feature of that locus. Retrieval of items is achieved by ‘walking’ through the loci, allowing the latter to activate the desired items. The efficacy of this technique has been well established (Ross and Lawrence 1968, Crovitz 1969, 1971, Briggs, Hawkins and Crovitz 1970, Lea 1975), as is the minimal interference seen with its use.” -John O’Keefe and Lynn Nadel: “The Hippocampus as a Cognitive Map” (7 December 1978)

“Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“I have a terrible memory; I never forget a thing.” -Edith Konecky

“In memory everything seems to happen to music.” -Tennessee Williams (Thomas Lanier Williams III (1911 - 1983)): “The Glass Managerie” (1944)

“Memory . . . is the diary that we all carry about with us.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900)): “The Importance of Being Earnest” (1895)

“A good life is a collection of happy memories.” -Denis Waitley (Denis E. Waitley, Senior (born 1933)) at https://www.deniswaitley.com/

The word ‘lethologica’ describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want. Now if I could just remember that word when I need to . . . what was it again?

“Memory is the thing you forget with.” -Alexander Chase (Stuart Alexander Chase (born 1926)): “Perspectives” (1966)

Three elderly men were at the doctor’s office for a memory test. The doctor asked the first man, “What is three times three?” “274,” came the reply. The doctor rolled his eyes and looked up at the ceiling, and said to the second man, “It’s your turn. What is three times three?” “Tuesday,” replied the second man. The doctor shook his head sadly, then asked the third man, “Okay, your turn. What are three times three?” “Nine,” said the third man. “That’s great!” said the doctor. “How did you get that?” “Simple,” he said, “just subtract 274 from Tuesday.”

“Age doesn’t always make you as forgetful as you may have been led to believe. It’s really having far too many worthless facts to remember that makes you forgetful.” -Author Unknown

Three sisters, who were 92, 94, and 96 years of age, lived in a house together. One night the 96 year old drew a bath. She put her foot in and paused. She yelled to the other sisters, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?” The 94-year-old yelled back, “I don’t know. I’ll come up and see.” She started up the stairs and paused. “Was I going up the stairs or down?” The 92 year old was sitting at the kitchen table having tea and listening to her sisters. She shook her head and said, “I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.” She then yelled, “I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.”

“Be careful who you make memories with. Those things can last a lifetime.” -Ugo Eze

“What isn’t remembered never happened.” -Lain

“Memory is the mental function that tells a man his wedding anniversary was yesterday.” -Author Unknown

“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” -Georges Duhamel (1884 - 1966): “The Heart’s Domain” (1919)

“One of the great mysteries of life is how a person can leave his or her car keys in the refrigerator.” -Author Unknown

“To observe attentively is to remember distinctly.” -Edgar Allan Poe (1809 - 1849)

When time who steals our years away
     Shall steal our pleasures too,
The mem’ry of the past will stay
     And half our joys renew.
-Thomas Moore (1779 - 1852): “Juvenile Poems” (1799 - 1804), ‘Song’

“We are our memories.” -Author Unknown

“You never know when you’re making a memory.” -Rickie Lee Jones

“Sometimes, I sit and think of all the memories I’ve made and smile. Then I smile even more at the thought of memories yet to be made.” -Author Unknown

“God gave His children memory that in life’s garden there might be June roses in December.” -Geoffrey Anketell Studdert-Kennedy (1883 - 1929): “Roses in December” poem

“The best thing about memories . . . is making them.” -Author Unknown

We are MFOL! . . . reminding you to never forget, even for a moment, how truly amazing you are . . .

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