Make Fun Of Life!

This Dog Is Seeing Something

4/17/2021

This dog is seeing what is on www.MakeFunOfLife.net and is keenly interested . . . perhaps you will be too . . .

If you came here looking for fun, you are in the right place. Just travel down this page, skipping the topics that might not interest you, until you come to the ones that appeal to you. When you have a moment, be sure to explore some of the other pages on the website, such as the Inspiration Page, which includes Moral Conduct, or the Holidays Page, which includes Birthdays, both of which can be found on the menu bar at the top of the sky above.

We are MFOL! . . . arf, arf!

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Difficulty and Ease

4/17/2021

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Sometimes people choose to do things not because they are easy, but because they are difficult . . .

“We often arrive at ease by first going through difficulty.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“When you have a great and difficult task, something perhaps almost impossible, if you only work a little at a time, every day a little, suddenly the work will finish itself.” -Isak Dinesen (pseudonym of Karen Christenze von Blixen-Finecke (1885 - 1962))

“Have you ever noticed how most things, though certainly not all, turn out to be easier than we had thought they would be, after we get started?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Just because something is difficult does not mean you should not do it.” -Author Unknown

“Obstacles are like wild animals. They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can. If they see you are afraid of them, they are liable to spring upon you; but if you look them squarely in the eye, they will slink out of sight.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“I’m not telling you it is going to be easy; I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.” -Author Unknown

“All things are difficult before they are easy.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 560

“Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven’t half the strength you think they have.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do. Not that the nature of the thing has changed, but our ability to do has increased.” -David O. McKay (David Oman McKay (1873 - 1970))

“The level path is easy, but it will not bring you to the mountaintop.” -Idel Dreimer

“Most obstacles melt away when we make up our minds to walk boldly through them.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“The distance is nothing; it is only the first step that is difficult.” [translation to English]
“La distance n’y fait rien; il n’y a que le premier pas qui coute.” [original French]
-Marie de Vichy-Chamrond (1697 - 1780): letter (7 July 1763) to Jean Le Rond d’Alembert

“Everything is difficult at first.” -Author Unknown

“I am always looking for an easier way of doing everything . . . not that I’m lazy, but that it gives me more life-energy to put into other things.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“The problem of life is not to make life easier, but to make people stronger.” -David Starr Jordan (1851 - 1931)

“If you want to make an easy job harder, just keep putting it off.” -William James (1842 - 1910): as quoted in “The Letters of William James” (1920), ‘To Carl Stumpf’ (1 January 1886)

“Putting off an easy thing makes it hard. Putting off a hard think makes it impossible.” -George C. Lorimer

“Take the gentle path.” -George Herbert (1593 - 1633)

“There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.” -Terence (Publius Terentius Afer (about 185 B.C.E. - 159 B.C.E.)): “Heauton Timoroumenos” (English: “The Self-Tormentor”)

“It never becomes easy; it becomes possible.” -Agnes De Mille

“The most difficult jobs look easy until you try to do them.” -William Feather (William A. Feather (1889 - 1981)): as quoted in Ted Landphair: “Featherisms” (6 October 2008)

“If your path is more difficult, it is because your calling is higher.” -Author Unknown

“A life of ease is a difficult pursuit.” -William Cowper (1731 - 1800)

“Nothing is easy to the unwilling.” -Nikki Giovanni (Yolande Cornelia ‘Nikki’ Giovanni, Junior (born 1943))

“Absorption in ease is one of the most reliable signs of present or impending decay.” -Richard Weaver

“One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks.” -Jack Penn

“Nothing worthwhile comes easily. Half effort does not produce half results. It produces no results. Work, continuous work and hard work, is the only way to accomplish results that last.” -Hamilton Holt

“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.” -Beverly Sills (1929 - 2007)

“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained.” -Marie Curie (Marie Sklodowska-Curie (1867 - 1934))

“It has been my philosophy of life that difficulties vanish when faced boldly.” -Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

“One thing you learn the hard way is that there is no easy way.” -Author Unknown

“Painting is easy when you don’t know how, but very difficult when you do.” -Edgar Degas

“If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you.” -Louis Brandeis (Louis Dembitz Brandeis (1856 - 1941))

“Once we truly know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, it no longer matters.” -Scott Peck (1936 - 2005): “The Road Less Traveled” (1978)

“Work hard to make things easier.” -Pete Carill

“Don’t confuse your path with your destination. Just because it’s stormy now doesn’t mean that you aren’t headed for sunshine.” -Author Unknown

“Obstacles are great incentives.” -Jules Michelet

“What we hope ever to do with ease, we must first learn to do with diligence.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“In no direction that we turn do we find ease or comfort. If we are honest and if we have the will to win, we find only danger, hard work, and iron resolution.” -Wendall Willkie (Wendell Lewis Willkie (1892 - 1944))

“There is no fruit that is not bitter before it is ripe.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“Looking back we see with great clarity, and what once appeared as difficulties now reveal themselves as blessings.” -Dan Millman

This is MFOL! . . . that wasn’t difficult at all . . . tee-hee-hee . . . tee-hee-hee . . .

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Hair Loss and Wigs

4/11/2021

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“We’re all born bald, baby.” -Author Unknown: “Kojack” television series; line spoken by fictional bald detective Kojack (portrayed by actor Telly Savalas)

Twig

A bald-headed person named Twig
Once went for advice to a pig.
     Said the pig, “Make some snares,
     And catch a few hares,
And weave the hares into a wig.”

by Willard R. Espy (Willard Richardson Espy (1910 - 1999))

“You can resent your bald spot or be glad you have a head.” -Timothy Miller

Angus: Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Angelica: Because from a distance, they look like hares.

Julius Caesar wore a laurel wreath to cover his balding head. One might wonder if that is how the whole silly notion of crowns and tiaras began.

Consolation for Baldness

What’s the advantage of hair, anyhow?
     It blows in your eyes and it flops on your brow,
Disguising the shape of your scholarly head;
     It often is gray and it sometimes is red.
Perhaps it is golden and ringleted, but
     It needs to be combed and it has to be cut,
And even at best, it is nothing to boast of,
     Because it’s what barbarous men have the most of,
Then challenge yourself, mirror, defiant and careless,
     For lots of our handsomest people are hairless.

by Arthur Guiterman (1871 - 1943)

Bald-headed Man: One who, when expecting visitors, has only to straighten his necktie.

The balding man asked his barber, “Why charge me the full price for cutting my hair, as there’s so little of it?” “Well,” said the barber, “actually I charge very little for cutting it. What you’re paying for is my searching for it.”

Overheard: I am not bald; I am follicly-challenged.

There is a new remedy on the market for baldness. It is made of alum and persimmon juice. While it does not grow hair, it does shrink your head to fit what hair you have remaining.

Daniel: What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday?
Leonard: “Thanks, I’ll never part with this!”

As Star Trek’s Captain Jean-Luc Picard might say, “To baldly go where no man has gone before . . . !”

Overheard: “I’m not bald; I’m just a little taller than my hair.”

One advantage of being completely bald is that a person can wash his or her head with soap only - no need for a bothersome and sometimes confusing collection of bottles of shampoos and conditioners. This saves you 78.71 seconds of time each day that you can now put to good use - not to mention the fact that you now no longer need to waste time in the shampoo aisle at the store trying to find a shampoo that doesn’t smell like a beautifully fragrant flower growing next to a sewage treatment plant.

Gregory Griggs

Gregory Griggs, Gregory Griggs,
     Had twenty-seven different wigs.
He wore them up, he wore them down,
     To please the people of the town.
He wore them east, he wore them west,
     And never could tell which one he liked best.

by Author Unknown

Alternatives to wigs include hats, bonnets, and scarves.

Riddle: Six people went swimming but only five got wet hair - why?
Answer: One of the people was bald.

People with hair loss are no different than anyone else. In fact, at one time, they probably had hair just like you do, and at some time, you yourself may have some hair loss. So, when you see a bald man, woman, or child, treat him or her just as you would want to be treated if you were in the same circumstances. And, if a person has hair loss and wears a wig or toupée or has a comb-over, or wears a scarf or hat, avoid saying anything either good or bad about it - in fact, it is better to keep your thoughts to yourself and leave them unsaid than it would be to hurt someone’s feelings. Sometimes people do not have a choice in what happens to them, so they do as best they can to live with how their lives have turned out . . . and they are always welcome here on MFOL!

There was an old person of Brigg,
Who purchased no end of a wig;
So that only his nose,
And the end of his toes,
Could be seen when he walked about Brigg.
-Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872), limerick 98

“There is one thing about baldness - it’s neat.” -Don Herold (1889 - 1966)

Bob: What is the cure for dandruff?
Otto: Baldness.

“Toupée or not toupée, that is the question.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Grass doesn’t grow on a busy street.” -William Hague, commenting on being bald

“I seem to have developed a compulsion to powder my wig . . . about 50 times a day now . . . professionals just don’t seem to be of any help.” -Author Unknown

Baldness: An admirable trait of the ideal human being, according to minimalists and efficiency experts.

“Bald people never have bad hair days.” -Author Unknown

Chris: Why are you staring at me like that?
Kelly: I was just admiring your bald spot.

“Some folks say that worry causes hair loss - that when the going gets tough, the tufts get going.” -Author Unknown

Maybe it seemed like a good idea at the time . . . but today the company no longer exists . . . perhaps the proliferation of long-term hair-leasing companies put them out of business?

“A look at their domes makes it obvious that as men grow older, they become hard of hairing.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

Old Man of Bombay

There once was a man from Bombay
Who wore on his head a toupée.
He thought that he might
Give friends a delight
And remove his toupée for a day.

by Author Unknown

The most common method to hide a bald spot is to remove all of one’s hair, making one’s entire self a giant bald spot.

“There is more felicity on the far side of baldness than young men can possibly imagine.” -Logan Pearsall Smith (1865 - 1946)

Have you heard about the new worldwide holiday, called Make Fun of People with Hair Day?

An interesting fact about male pattern baldness is that it does not appear to come in checkers, plaids, or stripes . . .

“I’ve always wanted to be bald. I mean it, completely bald. Wouldn’t it be great to be bald in the rain?” -Harrison Ford (born 1942)

Hair Loss and Wigs Quiz
- What hair color do they put on a bald person’s driver’s license?
- If a bald person works as a chef at a restaurant, does he or she have to wear a hairnet?
- Is there any way to avoid the ‘chrome dome’ look, in which a bald person’s head becomes shiny and reflective?
- Should bald people pay lower taxes than other taxpayers?
- How should bald people be treated?

“Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there’s your diamond in the rough.” -Larry David

“Underneath their hair, everyone is bald! Hair is just an ornament or decoration.” -Author Unknown

“The most delightful advantage to being bald: one can hear snowflakes.” -R. G. Daniels

We have been losing what little hair we still have trying to come up with more Hair Loss and Wigs humor and information. We have much more fun stuff on a surprising variety of other topics, if you will just continue traveling down the page . . . this way to further fun . . . on MFOL!

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Kisses and Kissing

4/11/2021

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“A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.” -Rupert Brooke (1887 - 1915)

[A kiss is] “A peculiar proposition. Of no use to one, yet absolute bliss to two. The small boy gets it for nothing, the young man has to lie for it, and the old man has to buy it. The baby’s right, the lover’s privilege, and the hypocrite’s mask. To a young girl, faith; to a married woman, hope; and to an old maid, charity.” -Linus Price ‘Skipper’ Hayes (1906 - 1962): “V. P. I. Skipper” (about 1930)

Kisses

There’s a kiss to say I love you,
     There’s a kiss to say I care.
There’s a kiss to prove our friendship,
     There’s a kiss for us to share.
There’s a kiss to say it’s always,
     There’s a kiss to say it’s true.
But the kiss I loved most,
     Was the kiss I got from you.

by Author Unknown

Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl said, “I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?” ”Only one kiss per yard,” replied the smirking clerk. ”That’s fine,” replied the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.” With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. “Grandpa will pay the bill,” she smiled.

“Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.” -Joey Adams (born Joseph Abramowitz (1911 - 1999))

Bad Dream

There was an old man of Peru,
Who dreamed he was kissing his shoe.
     He woke in the night
     In a terrible fright,
And found that it was perfectly true!

by Author Unknown

“A little kiss can make a big difference.” -Author Unknown

Kock, knock.
Who’s there?
Keith.
Keith, who?
Keith me, thweetheart!

“Kisses are a better fate than wisdom.” -e. e. cummings (Edward Estlin Cummings (1894 - 1962))

“Send your little child to bed happy. Whatever cares press, give it a warm good-night kiss as it goes to its pillow. The memory of this in the stormy years which fate may have in store for the little one will be like Bethlehem’s star to the bewildered shepherds. “My father, my mother, - loved me!” Fate cannot take away that blessed heart-balm. Lips parched with the world’s fever will become dewy again at this thrill of youthful memories. Kiss your little child before it goes to sleep.” -Charles Bullock (1871)

“People who throw kisses are mighty hopelessly lazy.” -Bob Hope (born Leslie Townes Hope (1903 - 2003))

“Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can’t see anything wrong with each other.” -René Yasenek

“To me, there is no greater act of courage than to be the one who kisses first.” -Janeane Garafolo (Janeane Marie Garofalo (born 1964))

“A passionate kiss burns the calories in one potato chip.” -Francis Sheridan Goulart (1989)

A one-minute kiss burns twenty-six calories.

Teach not thy lips such scorn, for they were made
For kissing, lady, not for such contempt.
-William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Richard III” (about 1592), Act I, scene 2

“A kiss is a pleasant reminder that two heads are better than one.” -Author Unknown

“You would think that, if our lips were made of horn, and stuck out a foot or two from our faces, kisses at any rate would be done for. Not so. No creatures kiss each other so much as birds.” -Thomas Buxton (Thomas Fowell Buxton (1786 - 1845))

“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.” -Ingrid Bergman (1915 - 1982)

“The sound of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Senior (1809 - 1894): “The Professor at the Breakfast-Table” (1859)

Never a lip is curved with pain
That can’t be kissed into smile again.
-Bret Harte (Francis Bret ‘Bret’ Harte (1836 - 1902))

“You have to kiss a lot of toads to find your handsome prince.” -Author Unknown

“Kissing don’t last: cookery do!” -George Meredith (1828 - 1909)

Philemaphobia, also called philematophobia, is a persistent fear of kissing. Kissing is how people get germs - it’s horribly disgusting - and so gross!

Jenny Kissed Me

Jenny kiss’d me when we met,
     Jumping from the chair she sat in;
Time, you thief, who loves to get
     Sweets into your list, put that in!
Say I’m weary, say I’m sad,
     Say that health and wealth have missed me,
Say I’m growing old, but add
     Jenny kiss’d me.

by Leigh Hunt (James Henry ‘Leigh’ Hunt (1784 - 1859)): as published in the “Monthly Chronicle” (November 1838)

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. ’Twas was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” -Judy Garland (Frances Gumm (1922 - 1969))

“Your kiss is on my list of the best things in life.” -Author Unknown

We are MFOL! . . . putting a little bubbly optimism in your day . . .

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Superheroes

4/8/2021

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“Ask yourself who you want to help today, then put on your cape and do it.” -Scottie Somers

Judy: Who can leap higher than a tall building?
Jody: Anybody, because tall buildings cannot leap!

Admit it, at some point in life, you have tried to see if you have super powers.

Darla: Why did the superhero cross the road?
Marla: To get to the supermarket.

Overheard: I am not saying I am Batman, I am just saying that no one has ever seen me and Batman in a room together.

Myrna: What is Batman’s favorite part of a joke?
Verna: The ‘punch’ line!

We have a great idea for a new superhero: Spudman. Like all potato people, he has many ‘eyes’ so he can simultaneously see in all directions without having to turn and look. His secret hideout is underground in a farm field, although he is often spotted in the produce section at grocery stores. He has to contend with a number of villainous chefs who want to turn him into garlic mashed potatoes, onion-potato cakes, a bacon-and-chives topped stuffed baked potato, or other fabulous foodstuffs, while he tries to save the people of Vegopolis from a massive celery famine, all the while being distracted by Sweet Potato and Candied Yam, both of whom are competing for his attention . . . what’s that . . . oh, gotta go, the boss is yelling at us to stop goofing around and get back to work!

Eunice: Why is Superman’s shirt so tight?
Eustice: Because it is a size ‘S’!

Kirby: How does the butler Alfred Pennyworth call Batman to dinner?
Herbie: “Dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner-Batman!!!” (Sing it to the tune of the 1960’s “Batman” television show theme music to get the full effect of the joke.)

Overheard: If I could be a superhero, I would be called Ironic. That way, when there is any trouble and I am running away from it, people would say, “Isn’t that Ironic?”

Every episode of the television show “Seinfeld” has a reference to Superman somewhere in it.

Alvin: What is Spiderman’s favorite month?
Vincent: Webruary.

Superman first appeared in “Action Comics no. 1” (June 1938).

Jingle Bells, Batman smells,
Robin laid an egg,
The bat-mobile lost its wheels,
And Joker got away!
-Author Unknown

People tend to think they are physically stronger when wearing Superman t-shirts.

Superboy: Why could Batman and Robin not go fishing?
Superman: Why?
Superboy: Because Robin ate all the worms!

Spiderman went to the video rental store and asked if he could have “Batman Forever.” The clerk said, “No, just 24 hours like everyone else.”

It’s just an ordinary day in the life of a superhero . . . who lives by the code, “Do a good deed each day.”

Emma: How does Spiderman repair holes in his costume?
Emmit: With super glue!

The unassuming Clark Kent wears regular-people clothes, but when he becomes Superman, he rapidly changes into a colorful red-and-blue spandex suit with a cape - so what does he do with his regular clothes when he is in super-mode? Rumor has it that he wears his superhero outfit under his regular clothes, and that he has a hidden pocket in his cape, into which he places his super-neatly-folded regular clothes. Mystery solved!

Charlene: What would you get if Batman and his sidekick Robin were run over by a herd of stampeding elephants?
Darlene: Flatman and Ribbon.

Superman, also known as Clark Kent, was created in 1934 by Jerome ‘Jerry’ Siegel, a graduate of Glenville High School in Cleveland, Ohio, United States of America. Mr. Siegel’s partner, Joseph ‘Joe’ Shuster, improved the character with tights, a cape, and a handsome face. They moved to New York City, where they faced hard times and sold all rights to the comic-strip character to DC Comics for a mere $130. In June 1938, the first Superman comic appeared, and the muscle-bound flying man ‘really took off.’

Merlin: What was Batman doing in a tree?
Marlena: Looking for Robin.

As the mild-mannered Clark Kent, Superman is afraid of girls. He is probably worried that he will run into the one he stole the red-and-blue outfit he wears from.

Archie: What is green and sour and flies?
Archibald: Super Pickle!

The name ‘Clark Kent’ (Superman) was derived from the names of actors Clark Gable and Kent Taylor.

Ernest: What is the difference between the Green Lantern and a leprechaun?
Nestor: Nothing; they are both fictional characters.

Legal disclaimer on an actual superhero costume: Wearing this costume does not enable its wearer to fly.

“DC Comics is reviving Superman’s old outfit. I never understood Superman’s clothes. We all got used to the fact that he wears his underpants over the leotard. But why do his underpants have a belt on them?” -Jay Leno

Does ‘Spiderman’ have a ‘website’?

Mathilda: Where do superheroes hold their annual convention?
Hilda: Cape Town.

Unlikely Superheroes
- Vacuum Cleaner Sales & Repair Man: He not only sells you a vacuum cleaner, but he also fixes it if is ever broken.
- Shoe Collector Woman: Travels through the air in a flying shoe and throws shoes at criminals.
- Hysterical Parrot: Shows up and causes so much chaos and confusion that villains give up and flee the scene.
- Ironman: Saves people by removing the wrinkles from their clothes, as for example, just before their job interviews and weddings.
- The Historian: Has the power to become any person in history.
- The Caped Politician: Watches over polling places to make sure nobody cheats by voting more than once.
- The Cheapskate: A superhero who saves the world by showing people how to do everything for less money.
- The Element: A superhero who can become anything on the Periodic Table.
- The Upset Grenade: A superhero who explodes and then later reassembles.
- Can you think of others?

This looks like a job for a superhero . . . or perhaps it is a job for you . . .

Superman climbed the Empire State Building to challenge King Kong to a fight. King Kong said, “I don’t have time - I’ve got to catch a plane!”

Why do superheroes wear their underpants on the outside of their clothes? Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman all wear elaborate costumes. The trio of superhero characters was created between 1935 and 1945. They were meant to be men and women of action, so their costumes were based on the men and women of action of the time. Superman’s costume was originally like that of a circus strongman. Wonder Woman’s was modeled on the costume of a trapeze artist. Their costumes were meant to be flashy and exciting and glamorous. Batman’s costume was based more on the black-and-white ‘film noir’ movies of the times, which were about dark avengers who skulked about in the shadows, scaring the wits out of criminals (Sounds like fun, right? Maybe you should consider a career in law enforcement.). Because Batman was meant to be a scary character, his costume made him look like a creepy creature from the shadows. Those costume styles stuck and became clichéd, particularly since the three characters had become instant hits of that time period. So, when new superheroes began to arrive, they also tended to have capes and tights just like circus-strongman Superman wears, or colorful trapeze outfits like Wonder Woman wears, or dark cloaks and scary masks like Batman wears. Because superhero creators are competitive, the result over time was that superhero costumes became more and more show-offish. And, what looks like underwear worn on the outside of their superhero costumes is actually tight shorts commonly worn by circus performers of the time, which gave them freedom of movement as they did their stunts to entertain audiences. What may look like belts holding up their ‘underpants’ are ‘utility belts’ which can hold any number of tools and devices the superheroes deploy in their crime-fighting adventures.

Heather: Where does Spiderman hang out?
Heath: On the worldwide web.

“Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Superman!” -George Lother, making the program introduction for the “Superman” radio show (first broadcast on 12 February 1940)

Some superheroes have sidekicks, or partners, and some superheroes have no sidekicks.

If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer ever teamed up, would they become ‘alloys’?

Thaddeus: Why did Batman go to the pet shop?
Tad: To buy a Robin.

Super Quiz
- What characteristics or traits do superheroes have in common with you?
- If you were a superhero, what would you choose as your alter-ego name?
- Which superhero would you like to have lunch with?
- If you were a superhero, what would your costume look like?
- Other than as entertainment, do superheroes serve any useful purpose?
- What people from history most resemble superheroes?

Mel: What was Batman’s ‘real’ name?
Nel: Bruce Wayne.

Overheard: If I could be any superhero, I would be Aluminum Man - my superpower would be ‘foiling’ crime . . .

Hope: How many caped crusaders does it take to change a light bulb?
Faith: None; for some reason, they actually seem to prefer the dark.

Have you ever wanted to be a superhero? Why wait? There is a place in cyberspace for real life superheroes - people who don costumes and fight crime or just do good deeds. Click on World Superhero Registry. Hope to see you there!

Aaron: What position did Bruce Wayne play on his little-league team?
Erin: He was the batboy.

Despite his name, ‘Spiderman’ does not eat bugs. He eats regular people food, just like the rest of us do.

Customer: Where does Superman shop for groceries?
Cashier: At the Supermarket!

We are MFOL! . . . saving humanity one joke at a time - and you do not need a cape or the ability to fly to go out into the world and ‘Make Fun Of Life!’

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Chewing Gum and Bubble Gum

4/3/2021

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Bubble gum gal . . . on MFOL!

How to Blow a Bubble
1. Take a piece of gum and chew it until the flavor is gone.
2. Stretch the gum around your tongue.
3. Blow air into the gum, and close your mouth to seal the bubble.
4. Peel the gum off your face and start all over again.

Humans are the only animals on Earth that chew gum. If you give a monkey a piece of gum, the monkey will chew it for a couple of minutes, and then the monkey will take the gum out of his mouth and stick it in his hair.

Mary Had Some Bubble Gum

Mary had some bubble gum,
     She chewed it long and slow,
And everywhere that Mary went,
     Her gum was sure to go.

She chewed the gum in school one day,
     Which was against the rule,
The teacher took her pack away,
     And chewed it after school.

by Author Unknown

People have enjoyed chewing gum-like substances in many lands and from very early times. Some of the materials were thickened resins and latexes from certain kinds of trees. Others were various sweet grasses, leaves, grains, and waxes. Modern chewing gum was originally made from the natural gum chicle, found in the sapodilla tree. Chicle is expensive, so other natural gums and chewy synthetic materials are also in use presently.

“For some reason, chewing gum for me gets my brain going.” -Brie Larson

Studies have shown that chewing gum helps people concentrate. It’s true - in fact, right now we’re concentrating on the cinnamon-peach flavor of the chewing gum in our mouths! Seriously, though, chewing gum can help in studying for exams, tests, quizzes, and other brain-taxing endeavors.

Eunice: How did the chewing gum get across the road?
Josie: By sticking to the chicken’s foot.

William Wrigley, Junior originally got his start in the baking powder business in Chicago, Illinois. With each can of his baking powder, he included a free pack of chewing gum. However, when he learned people were buying the baking powder only because they wanted the gum, he stopped selling the baking powder altogether and focused solely on the gum. In 1893, he began selling two of the most popular chewing gums ever: Juicy Fruit and Wrigley’s Spearmint Gum. The rest is history . . .

Hugh: Where is the best place to have a bubble gum bubble-blowing contest?
Bert: On a chew-chew train.

Chocolate-flavored chewing gum is not possible because the cocoa butter in chocolate acts as an emulsifier on the chewing gum base, making it too soft and ruining the chewability of the product. You can test this yourself by putting a piece of chocolate and a piece of gum in your mouth at the same time and chewing them together.

Chewing gum burns about 11 calories per hour.

Chewing gum while cutting onions can help keep people from producing tears.

You probably will not want to go out and nibble on any tires after reading this, but the fact is that chewing gum is made from rubber, just like the tires on bicycles and automobiles. No wonder rodents like to chew the insulation off wires - it’s like chewing gum for them!

Who is that person? She is Natalie Wood (born Natalia Nikolaevna Zakharenko (1938 - 1981)), acting and blowing bubbles at the same time, in the comedy film, “Penelope” (1966)

Studies have shown that chewing sugarless gum sweetened with xylitol has an antibacterial action. It fights bacteria that cause tooth decay. Gum also increases the flow of saliva, which dilutes acid produced by bacteria. Saliva also contains calcium and phosphorous minerals that can help to repair soft spots in tooth enamel, actually healing early tooth decay.

Eugene: What did the shoe say to the chewing gum?
Wallace: “Stick with me, and we’ll go places.”

During World War 2, American military personnel increased the popularity of chewing gum by trading it and giving it as a gift to people in Europe, Africa, Asia, and other parts of the world.

Cheryl: Would you like some ABC gum?
Daryl: What’s ABC gum?
Cheryl: It’s ‘Already Been Chewed’ gum.
Daryl: No, thanks!

Chewing gum is a very stable product. It has a non-reactive nature and low moisture content. Because of this, chewing gum retains its quality for a longer time than most other food products - so long, in fact, that in most countries, chewing gum is not required by law to be labeled with an expiration date. Chewing gum can, however, become brittle and lose some flavor as it ages, but will still remain safe to chew.

“Does the spearmint lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?” is the title of a song (1924) by Billy Rose with music by Ernest Breuer. The song was revived in 1959 by Lonnie Donegan, with the title, “Does Your Chewing-Gum Lose Its Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight?”

Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
     If your mother says don’t chew it, do you swallow it in spite?
Can you catch it on your tonsils, can you heave it left and right?
     Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
-Lonnie Donegan: excerpt from “Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor” from the album “Just About as Good as It Gets! More Original Skiffle Recordings” (1952 - 1959)

On 28 December 1869, a patent for an ‘improved’ type of chewing gum was obtained by dentist William Finley Semple of Mount Vernon, Ohio. He combined rubber with chalk, powdered licorice root, and other substances to make his gum. The resulting gum purportedly cleaned the teeth and strengthened the jaw. Other types of chewing gum did exist prior to Mr. Semple’s product, including a ‘State of Maine Pure Spruce Gum’ made by John B. Curtis starting in 1848, and an earlier patent for chewing gum obtained by Toledo, Ohio resident Amos Tyler on 27 July 1869. Mr. Tyler’s gum was made of white rosin and olive oil, which he heated and mixed together. Once it cooled, he cut it into strips, or sticks, and packaged each piece individually. Of course, prior to all of this, chewing gum had been around for thousands of years of human history, but it was of a simpler form and not widely sold commercially to the public.

Cinnamon, spearmint, and peppermint are among the most popular flavors of chewing gum today.

Modern chewing gum emerged from a series of failures. American inventor Thomas Adams had tried for an entire year to use chicle as a substitute for rubber in waterproof boots, rainwear, and toys. Mr. Adams was frustrated when the experiments did not work as he had hoped, and he was ready to throw away all of the remaining chicle. Then a visit to a drug store gave him an idea. There, he overheard a girl ask for a penny’s worth of paraffin wax candy, and he recalled that chicle had been chewed by people for many centuries. By 1870, he had developed a chewing gum manufacturing process, for which he obtained United States Patent #111,798 issued on 14 February 1871. He sold his product as ‘Adams’ New York Gum No. 1.’ In 1871, he made a licorice-flavored gum called Black Jack, the first flavored chewing gum.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Oswald.
Oswald, who?
Oswald my chewing gum!

The color of the first successful bubble gum was pink because it was the only color the inventor had. The color ‘stuck,’ and today, bubble gum is still predominantly pink.

According to a leading columnist on the subject of etiquette, chewing gum in public is perfectly all right as long as it is not done with too much gusto.

In 1919 in Lockport, New York, United States of America, a Baptist minister named W. H. Mason invented the first modern gumball machine, which he patented and turned over to his son, Ford Mason, who began manufacturing the machines in the basement of his father’s church. Ford Gum & Machine Company soon began producing gumballs, too, and the younger Mason spent a decade perfecting ways to protect the candy from moisture condensation inside the see-through glass globes. A single drop of water would ruin the colors of a barrel of gumballs. Once he had invented a water-resistant glaze, a person could take a handful of glazed gumballs and hold them under a running faucet without the color coming off.

Alike Yet Different Somehow

The gum-chewing student,
     The cud-chewing cow,
Somewhat alike,
     Yet different somehow.

Just what is the difference -
     I think I know now -
It’s the thoughtful look
     On the face of the cow.

by Author Unknown

The largest bubble ever blown was about 58 centimeters (23 inches) in diameter. The record was set on Tuesday 19 July 1994 by Susan Montgomery Williams of Fresno, California, United States of America. Hmmm, seems like that bubble might have been large enough to hold a small dog, a cat, a parakeet, and a goldfish inside it.

At one time, a manufacturer ordered his workers to stop chewing on the job - but the workers went to the National Labor Relations Board and won the right to do so.

Chewing gum on an airplane will prevent a person’s ears from popping. Chewing gum makes the salivary glands produce 250 percent more saliva than is normally produced, so people swallow more. This helps balance the pressure in the head.

Japanese chemists have invented ‘Mood Gum.’ Like the Mood Rings once popular in America, Mood Gum changes color when you are happy, sad, angry, and so forth.

Chewing-gum was illegal in all of Eastern Europe until Czechoslovakia began manufacturing it in 1957. Poland and East Germany quickly followed suit, but it was not until 1976 that the Soviet Union lifted its ban on gum. Tourists who visit Singapore are allowed to bring gum with them, but only a maximum of two packs per person. Any more than that and they can be charged with ‘gum smuggling’ which carries the penalty of one year in jail and $5,500 fine. A doctor’s prescription may be required for chewing gum. Anyone caught leaving chewing gum in a public area can be charged with a monetary fine, community work, or commonly, a public beating with a bamboo stick.

Do you have gum stuck in your hair, and you don’t want to cut your hair to get rid of the gum? It’s a sticky situation, but you can apply ice to the gum to make it cold and harden it, and then try to break it off in pieces. Or, you can use peanut butter or vegetable oil to soften the gum and then try to remove it. Afterward, wash your hair thoroughly.

Better than cough drops? Cough drops are just candy, but the act of chewing gum may provide some real relief from the sore throat that frequently accompanies a cold, influenza (flu), and some other conditions, by stimulating the flow of saliva.

Chewing gum first went into orbit when astronauts Edward Higgins White II and James Alton McDivitt smuggled the stuff onboard their space capsule during the Gemini IV mission that was launched on 3 June 1965 from Cape Canaveral, Florida, United States of America.

Any guesses as to what percentage of people are incapable of blowing bubbles with gum? Get a clipboard, a pen, a piece of paper, and decide how you are going to word your question or questions. Now go out and begin asking people, writing down the number of people who say they can blow bubbles and the number of people who say they cannot blow bubbles. But wait, there are probably a statistically significant number of people who have never tried and therefore do not know if they can or cannot blow bubbles, and you will want to count those people also. As an inducement to get people to participate in your study, you might offer them each a piece of gum. When you have your results, please let us know.

This is MFOL! . . . for those who can walk and chew gum at the same time . . .

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Laughter and Laughing

4/2/2021

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Laughter has magical properties . . .

“I like people who make me laugh. I honestly think that laughing is the thing I like most. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person.” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

“There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870))

“You know, there’s endorphins in laughter, as there are endorphins in running in the park.” -Marlo Thomas (Margaret Julia ‘Marlo’ Thomas (born 1937))

Overheard: I just want to spend the rest of my life laughing.

“Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it, and then move on.” -Bob Newhart (George Robert ‘Bob’ Newhart (born 1929))

“I think laughter may be a form of courage.” -Linda Ellerbee (born 1944)

“There is little success where there is little laughter.” -Andrew Carnegie (1835 - 1919)

“The amount you laugh in your relationships with others is the true measure of the health of your personality.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

Just Laughin’

Did it ever occur to you
Of the good that you might do,
Just Laughin’.
Did you ever stop to think
That a sorrow you could sink,
Just Laughin’.
The world is like a dream,
Your thoughts are mostly clean,
When you’re laughin’.
The whole world seems more bright,
Everything turns out right,
Just Laughin’.
Victory seems to be your pace
And love just floods most every face,
Just Laughin’.
Everyone’s so bright and gay,
Work just seems to be like play
When you’re laughin’.
You’ll find the world much sweeter
And yourself will feel much better,
Just Laughin’.
Life itself would be so fine,
You can make it more divine,
Just Laughin’.
It’s the little things you do
And you know God loves you too,
When you’re laughin’.

by Hudson W. Cady (Hudson Waterman Cady (1894 - 1973))

“A laugh is a smile that bursts.” -Mary H. Waldrip (Mary Helen Waldrip (1914 - 1988))

“So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter.” -Gordon W. Allport (Gordon Willard Allport (1897 - 1967))

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Laughing Time

It was laughing time, and the tall Giraffe
     Lifted up his head, and began to laugh:
     Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

And the Chimpanzee on the ginkgo tree
     Swung merrily down with a “Tee Hee Hee”:
     Hee! Hee! Hee! Hee!

“It’s certainly not against the law!”
     Croaked Justice Crow with a loud guffaw:
     Haw! Haw! Haw! Haw!

The Dancing Bear who could never say, “No”
     Waltzed up and down on the tip of his toe:
     Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!

The Donkey daintily took his paw,
     And around they went: “Hee-Haw! Hee-Haw!”
     Hee-Haw! Hee-Haw!

The Moon had to smile as it started to climb;
     All over the world it was laughing time!
     Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Hee-Haw! Hee-Haw!
     Hee! Hee! Hee! Hee! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

by William Jay Smith (1918 - 2015): “Laughing Time” (1955)

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Laughter is good exercise. Each time a person laughs, he or she burns an average of 3.5 calories.

“Laughter is the closest thing to the grace of God.” -Karl Barth (1886 - 1968)

“Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.” -Author Unknown

“Laughing helps; it’s like jogging on the inside.” -Author Unknown

Daryl: Why is it a bad idea to laugh at people when they are down?
Lydia: They might get up!

“Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. After all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.” -Dame Edna Everage (fictional character portrayed by John Barry Humphries (born 1934))

“Laugh, if you are wise.” -Marcus Valerius Martialis (also known simply as Martial (about C.E. 40 - about C.E. 103))

“At first, I only laughed at myself. Then I noticed that life itself is amusing. I’ve been in a generally good mood ever since.” -Marilyn vos Savant (born 1946)

“If you can laugh at it, you can live with it.” -Erma Bombeck (Erma Louise Bombeck (1927 - 1996))

“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” -Victor Borge (born Bǿrge (sometimes spelled Berge) Rosenbaum (1909 - 2000)

“A laugh’s the wisest, easiest answer to all that’s queer.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891): “Moby Dick” (18 October 1851)

“People who laugh actually live longer than those who don’t laugh. Few persons realize that health actually varies according to the amount of laughter.” -James J. Walsh

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“Once you get people laughing, they’re listening, and you can tell them almost anything.” -Herbert Gardner

“A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market.” -Charles Lamb (1775 - 1834)

“At the height of laughter, the Universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.” -Jean Houston (born 1937)

“Laughter is to life what shock absorbers are to automobiles. It won’t take the potholes out of the road, but it sure makes the ride smoother.” -Barbara Johnson

“Learn to laugh at your troubles and you’ll never run out of things to laugh at.” -Lyn Karol

“Laughter is an instant vacation.” -Milton Berle (born Mendel Berlinger (1908 - 2002))

“A good laugh is sunshine in the house.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863)

“Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.” -W. H. Auden (Wystan Hugh Auden (1907-1973)): “The Dyer’s Hand, and Other Essays‎” (1962), page 372

“Laughter is the corrective force which prevents us from becoming cranks.” -Henri Bergson (Henri-Louis ‘Henri’ Bergson (1859 - 1941))

“He who laughs, lasts!” -Mary Pettibone Poole (birth year unknown - 1941): “A Glass Eye at a Key Hole” (1938); type of work: book of aphorisms and apothegms

“Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy . . . that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat of the moment. Banish tension and concern and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996)): “A Better Way to Live” (1990), ‘Rule Eleven’

“A good time to laugh is any time you can.” -Linda Ellerbee (born 1944)

“Those who cannot laugh at themselves leave the job to others.” -Author Unknown

“Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over, and showing it principally in one spot.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))

“Sharing laughter heals hearts.” -Patsy Clairmont (born 1945)

“Laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.” -Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824))

“Laughter is the best medicine.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

What are the benefits of laughter? Laughter really is good medicine. Yes, studies have shown it time after time! Laughter lowers blood pressure, creates much better moods around the house, prevents illnesses, speeds up healing, and produces endorphins just like runners experience when they reach their peak running level, which prevents pain sensors from hurting so badly. Laughing may lower levels of stress hormones and strengthen the immune system.

“Laughter is the Sun that drives Winter from the human face.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.” -Edgar Watson Howe (1854 - 1937): as attributed in “Forbes” (1980)

“Laughter is God’s hand on the shoulders of a troubled world.” -Minnie Pearl (pseudonym of Sarah Ophelia Colley (1912 - 1996))

“As a general rule, the freedom of any people can be judged by the volume of their laughter.” -Author Unknown

“You show your character in nothing more clearly that by what you think laughable.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone.” -Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850 - 1919) (1883)

“I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I’ll go to it laughing.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891): “Moby Dick” (18 October 1851)

“Joyfulness keeps the heart and face young. A good laugh makes us better friends with ourselves and everybody around us.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Laughter translates into any language.” -Author Unknown

Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.

“If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places.” -Andrew Mason

“Man alone suffers so excruciatingly in the world that he was compelled to invent laughter.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“It is more fitting for a man to laugh at life than to lament over it.” -Lucius Annaeus Seneca (also known as Seneca the Younger or simply as Seneca (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

World Laughter Day is celebrated on the first Sunday of May of every year. The first celebration was on 10 January 1998 in Mumbai, India, and was arranged by Doctor Madan Kataria, founder of the worldwide Laughter Yoga movement.

“The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.” -Shirley MacLaine (pseudonym of Shirley MacLean Beaty (born 1934))

“A complete revaluation takes place in your physical and mental being when you’ve laughed and had some fun.” -Catherine Ponder (born 1927)

This is MFOL! Have you laughed today? If not, there is still time . . . just continue reading . . .

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Accidents and Safety

3/27/2021

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Sound Advice

When in danger,
Or in doubt,
Run in circles,
Scream, and shout!

by Author Unknown

Marvin: Safety first!
Vincent: Sounds good - then what comes after that?
Marvin: That’s a good question, and I’m glad you asked.
Vincent: So what’s the answer?
Marvin: I don’t know!

“Be always sure you’re right - then go ahead.” -David Crockett (David ‘Davy’ Crockett (1786 - 1836)): “Autobiography” (1834)

In the United States of America, forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute. Chained dogs are three times more likely to bite people than unchained dogs. This is amusing only if you happen to be a dog.

Rubin: Who was responsible for the Green Car Crash in 1963?
Robin: “The Green Car Crash” is Andy Warhol’s most famous painting. It sold at auction on 16 May 2007 for 71.7 million U.S. dollars (about 42.3 million British pounds). Andy Warhol caused the Green Car Crash by applying paint to canvas.

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In 2001, there were reportedly more than 300 banana-related accidents in Great Britain, most involving people slipping on banana peels.

There was a young lady named Hannah,
Who slipped on a peel of banana.
     More stars she espied
     As she lay on her side
Than are found in the Star Spangled Banner.

A gentleman sprang to assist her;
He picked up her glove and her wrister;
     “Did you fall, Ma’am?” he cried;
     “Do you think,” she replied,
“I sat down for the fun of it, Mister?”

-Author Unknown: as published in Charles Knowles Bolton (1867 - 1950), attributed editor: “The Smile on the Face of the Tiger: A Collection of Limericks” (1908)

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“Safety is no accident.” -Author Unknown

Cows bring more people to an end than sharks do. About ten people meet their end by sharks every year but nearly one hundred people meet their end each year from being stepped on by cows.

“I saw this water-safety manual that actually says if a shark attacks, you should poke it in the eyes! Who wrote that, the Three Stooges?” -Larry Reeb

Are coconut trees out to get people? It is true that more people meet their end when coconuts falling from coconut trees hit them on the head than from shark attacks.

A guy walked into work, and both of his ears were bandaged. The boss said, “What happened to your ears?” The guy said, “Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the iron.” The boss said, “Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?” He said, “Well, I had to call the doctor!”

Forty-four percent of people have broken at least one of their bones at some time in their lives.

“Do not ride in cars: they are responsible for 20 percent of all fatal accidents. . . Do not stay at home: 17 percent of all accidents occur in the home . . . Do not walk on the streets or pavements: 14 percent of all accidents occur to pedestrians . . . Do not travel by air, rail, or water: 16 percent of all accidents happen on these . . . Only .001 percent of all deaths occur in worship services in church, and these are usually related to previous physical disorders . . . Hence the safest place for you to be at any time is at church!” -Mark Leslie

Approximately 40,000 people are bitten by cats in the United States of America annually. Kitty has claws, and teeth, too!

“Charlie Brown got hit with a line-drive!”
“Does anyone here know anything about first-aid?”
“It’s probably not serious . . . Second or third-aid will do.”
-Charles M. Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulze (1922 - 2000)): “The Complete Peanuts: 1965 to 1966” (August 2007)

In 1099, Christian knights trained as laypersons in medical care organized the Order of Saint John, specifically to treat battlefield injuries. In 1878, the term ‘first-aid’ appeared, as a combination of the terms ‘first treatment’ and ‘National Aid.’ First-aid is the act of giving immediate attention to injured, sickened, or otherwise adversely affected persons.

A first-aid kit consists of items used to treat injuries and illnesses, and typically includes bandages, absorbent cotton, gauze, medical tape, antimicrobial substances, aspirin, and anything that might be needed for specific medical conditions of family members, employees, students, passengers, or other persons. First aid kits, including lists of contents and instruction booklets or foldouts for treating common ailments, are recommended for placement in homes, businesses, jobsites, schools, vehicles, and hiking or camping backpacks. Any items with expiration dates will need to be replaced regularly. For lists of items to include in First Aid Kits, click on American Red Cross.

“Remember, it is not first-aid kits or other equipment that saves lives, but people and their knowledge of how to use them that saves lives.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

First-aid training provides people with knowledge and mock practice in methods used to recognize, assess, and treat emergency medical and other conditions on the spot. The training typically covers how to respond to people who are choking or asphyxiating from blocked breathing passages, are found unconscious, have broken bones, bleeding wounds, seizures, or symptoms of shock or dehydration. Some advanced training courses include techniques used in treating severe allergic reactions, childbirth, determining if a person can be transported for medical care, and responding to people who are acting erratically. Among the first steps in first-aid care is contacting first responders or emergency services providers such as police, fire, rescue, and ambulance, or sending any available person to seek such assistance, while another person remains at the location with the person who is need of care. For information on First Aid Training, click on American Red Cross.

“After hearing two eyewitness accounts of the same accident, you begin to wonder about history.” -Author Unknown

“How did the accident happen?” the doctor asked the patient. “The sign said, ‘Stop, Look, Listen,’ and while I was doing that, a train ran over me.”

“The pedestrian who always insists on getting his rights usually gets his rites.” -Author Unknown

Why is it called quicksand when it pulls you down in so slowly?

By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink in quicksand. Now quick, where can we find some quicksand to try this out?

Tania: What do you get when a dinosaur smashes everything in its path?
Nadia: Tyrannosaurus wrecks!

Are some people ‘accident prone’? Possibly they are, or maybe they need to be made aware of safety measures and accident prevention. However, it is also worth looking into the conditions and surroundings in which people find themselves. Steps can be taken to make accidents less likely, such as keeping places clean of debris and making sure surfaces on which people walk are not slippery. Tools and machines should be unplugged and put away when not in use. All equipment should be maintained and kept in good working order. People who work with tools, equipment, supplies, vehicles, and so forth, should be trained on how to use them, how to maintain them, and what to do in the event of accidents, because truth be told, all humans and even our animal friends are to some extent ‘accident prone.’

“Accident: An inevitable occurrence due to the action of immutable natural laws.” -Ambrose Bierce (Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (1842 - 1914))

Dystychiphobia is a persistent fear that accidents will occur or that one might be the cause of accidents. People with this phobia may fear harming themselves or others or property. Dystychiphobia could be one reason some people are afraid of flying in airplanes and driving automobiles. However, it should be noted that it doesn’t necessarily apply to skiing, because if you go skiing, no matter who you are, you are definitely going to have an accident - we’re kidding - you should go skiing!

“Protective measures will prevent costly disasters.” -Author Unknown

A little old lady who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse broke her leg. As the doctor put the cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several months later, the doctor took off the cast. “Can I climb stairs now?” asked the little old lady. “Yes,” the doctor replied. “Thank goodness!” she said. “I’m sick and tired of shinnying up and down that drain pipe.”

The largest number of fatal car accidents occur on Saturdays.

“Had this been an actual emergency, we already would have fled in terror - and you would not have been notified!” -Author Unknown

Things You Ought Not Do - For Safety Reasons!
- Stare at the Sun and go blind.
- Lick metal during the winter and get your tongue stuck frozen to it.
- Tug on Superman’s cape.
- Try to pet or touch a wild animal.
- Drive a vehicle across railroad tracks when the signal indicates a train is coming.
- Can you think of anything else?

About thirteen people meet their end every year from vending machines, usually when they tip or shake the machines to try to get candy or soft drinks out of them, and the heavy machines then fall over on top of the people.

“Accident: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.” -Author Unknown

“Safety is something a lot of people learn by accident.” -Author Unknown

Each year, more people meet their demise from donkeys than from airplane crashes.

“Practical realist: Someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.” -Author Unknown

“Accidents don’t just happen - they are caused!” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . as you head out into the world, always remember the motto, “Safety first” . . . then just do whatever comes next . . .

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Impossible and Possible

3/24/2021

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“I’ve always had the feeling that nothing is impossible if one applies a certain amount of energy in the right direction. If you want to do it, you can do it.” -Nellie Bly (pseudonym of Elizabeth Cochrane Seaman (1864 - 1922))

“Impossible things are simply those which so far have never been done.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“You can’t pick a lock with a pickle, you can’t cure the sick with a sickle, pluck figs with a figment, drive pigs with a pigment, nor make your watch tick with a tickle. You can’t slacken your gait with a gaiter, you can’t get a crate with a crater, catch moles with a molar, or bake rolls with a roller. But you can get a wait from a waiter.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “Sunshine Magazine”

“Never let the word ‘impossible’ stop you from pursuing what your heart and spirit urge you to do. Impossible things come true every day.” -Robert Cooper

“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” -Vince Lombardi (Vincent Thomas ‘Vince’ Lombardi (1913 - 1970))

“Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.” -Author Unknown

“I’m always doing what I cannot do yet, in order to learn how to do it.” -Vincent van Gogh (Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 - 1890)): letter (1885) to Anthon van Rappard

“When work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible.” -Nancy Coey

“The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible.” -Richard M. DeVos (Richard Marvin DeVos, Senior (1926 - 2018))

“I have learned to use the word ‘impossible’ with the greatest caution.” -Wernher von Braun (Wernher Magnus Maximilian, Freiherr von Braun (1912 - 1977))

“I believe anything is possible. Research into quantum physics proves that a system changes simply by someone observing it. Therefore, all you have to do is be awake and aware of your environment, and that enables you to transform everything around you. It sounds like hocus pocus, but scientists are coming to realize that just thinking about something can make it happen. Turns out maybe faith can move mountains.” -Christine Anderson

“Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done.” -Louis Brandeis (Louis Dembitz Brandeis (1856 - 1941))

“Things that are impossible just take longer.” -Ian Hickson

“Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.” -Doug Larson (1902 - 1981)

“Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said. ‘One can’t believe impossible things.’ ‘I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it half an hour a day. Why, sometimes, I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.’” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Through the Looking-Glass” (1872), chapter 5

“What is impossible today that if made possible would change everything?” -Joel Barker

“If you develop the absolute sense of certainty that powerful beliefs provide, then you can get yourself to accomplish virtually anything, including those things that other people are certain are impossible.” -William L. Phelps (William Lyon Phelps (1865 - 1943))

“The difficult is what takes a little time; the impossible is what takes a little longer.” -Fridtjof Nansen (1861 - 1930): as quoted in the “Listener” (14 December 1939)

“The impossible is often the untried.” -Jim Goodwin

“It is our duty as human beings to proceed as though the limits of our capabilities do not exist.” -Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (1881 - 1955)

“The impossible: What nobody can do, until somebody does.” -Author Unknown

“We have no limits - we create them in our mind.” -Bud LaBranche

“The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.” -Arthur C. Clarke (Arthur Charles Clarke (1917 - 2008))

“There is nothing impossible to him who will try.” -Alexander of Macedonia (also known as Alexander the Great (356 B.C.E. - 323 B.C.E.))

“Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.” -John Heywood (about 1497 - 1580): “The Proverbs of John Heywood” (1546)

“The impossible is possible if you want it to be.” -Author Unknown

“Nothing is impossible.” -Author Unknown

“Everything is always impossible before it works.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

“What we need are more people who specialize in the impossible.” -Theodore Roethke (1908 - 1963)

“Nothing is impossible; the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

“You can do the impossible, because you have been through the unimaginable.” -Christina Rasmussen (born 1972)

“When someone tells you that you can’t do something, perhaps you should consider that they are only telling you what they can’t do.” -Sheldon Cahoon

“Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” -Francis of Assisi (1181 - 1226)

“It is the act of a madman to pursue impossibilities.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180))

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” -Author Unknown

“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” -Jamie Paolinetti (born 1964)

“It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.” -Robert H. Goddard (Robert Hutchings ‘Bob’ Goddard (1882 - 1945))

“There is no limitation other than what you think.” -Kenneth Mills

“Yes, you can be a dreamer and a doer too, if you will remove one word from your vocabulary: impossible.” -Robert Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“You have to believe in the impossible.” -Howard Head

“To get profit without risk, experience without danger, and reward without work is as impossible as it is to live without being born.” -A. P. Gouthey (Aldolph Philip Gouthey (some sources may show Adolph Philip Gouthey) (1892 - 1963))

“All things are possible until they are proved impossible and even the impossible may only be so, as of now.” -Pearl S. Buck (Pearl Sydenstricker Buck (1892 - 1973)): “A Bridge for Passing” (1962)

“You cannot make a silk purse of a sow’s ear.” -Stephen Gosson (1554 - 1624): “The Ephemerides of Phialo” (1579)

“So many things are possible just as long as you don’t know they’re impossible.” -Norton Juster (born 1929): “The Phantom Tollbooth” (1961)

“To believe a Business impossible, is the Way to make it so.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 5138

“If you will tell me why the fen* appears impassable, I then will tell you why I think that I can cross it if I try.” -Marianne Craig Moore (1887 - 1972)
*fen: a wetland or often flooded area.

“Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.” -George Santayana (1863 - 1952)

“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.” -Author Unknown: Adidas print advertisement published in “ESPN” (1972) magazine, as attributed in John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947)): “The Difference Maker” (2006), page 53

“Don’t undertake a project unless it is manifestly important and nearly impossible.” -Edwin Land

“Ordinary people believe only in the possible. Extraordinary people visualize not what is possible or probable, but rather what is impossible. And by visualizing the impossible, they begin to see it as possible.” -Cherie Carter-Scott (born 1949)

“Anything in life is possible if you make it happen. And it’s never too late.” -Jack LaLanne (François Henri ’Jack’ LaLanne (1914 - 2011))

“What is now proven was once only imagined.” -William Blake (1757 - 1827): “Proverbs of Hell” (1790 - 1793)

“To the timid and hesitating everything is impossible because it seems so.” -Walter Scott

“Nothing is impossible to industry*.” -Periander (about 625 B.C.E. - 585 B.C.E.)
*industry: hard work.

“Impossibility simply means ‘I’m possibility.’” -Monsieur Nana Adom

“When someone tells you it can’t be done, it’s more a reflection of their limitations, not yours.” -Author Unknown

“Nothing is impossible: there are ways which lead to everything; and if we had sufficient will we should always have sufficient means. It is often merely for an excuse that we say things are impossible.” -François de La Rochefoucauld (also known as François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680))

“Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.” -Author Unknown

“There are many things that seem impossible only so long as one does not attempt them.” -André Gide (André Paul Guillaume Gide (1869 - 1951))

“Impossible is only an opinion.” -Author Unknown

“Never tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the Moon.” -Paul Brandt

“Jesus said unto him, ‘If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.’” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Mark,’ chapter 9, verse 23

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“I dwell in possibility.” -Emily Dickinson (1830 - 1886)

“Do not suppose that, if you find something hard to achieve, it is beyond human capacity; rather, if something is possible and appropriate for man, assume that it must also be within your own reach.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180)): “The Meditations” (C.E. 167)

“Think of the thing you cannot do, and then do it.” -Author Unknown

“What ‘exists’ is only a small part of what is ‘possible.’” -Pere Alberch (born Pere Alberch Vie (1954 - 1998))

“Every noble work is at first impossible.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“It’s going to be difficult, but difficult is not impossible.” -Author Unknown

“Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities - always see them, for they’re always there.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Either I will find a way, or I will make one.” -Philip Sidney (1554 - 1586)

“Most of the things worth doing in the world have been declared impossible before they were attempted.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man’s determination.” -Tommy Lasorda (Thomas Charles ‘Tommy’ Lasorda (born 1927))

“It is certain because it is impossible.” [translation to English]
“Certum est quia impossibile.” [original Latin]
-Quintus Septimius Florens Tertullianus (also known simply as Tertullian (C.E. 155 - C.E. 240))

“Nothing is impossible to the man who can will and then do; this is the only law of success.” -Mirabeau (Honoré Gabriel Riqueti, Count of Mirabeau (1749 - 1791))

“All big things in this world are done by people who are naive and have an idea that is obviously impossible.” -Frank Richards

“There is a better way to spell ‘impossible’: ‘I’m possible.’” -Author Unknown

“Few things are impossible to diligence and skill.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): “Rasselas” (1759)

“Once you stop dismissing something as unattainable, then you start working on its development.” -Jerome Pearson

“The most rewarding things you do in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done.” -Arnold Palmer (Arnold Daniel Palmer (1929 - 2016))

“And all may do what has by man been done.” -Edward Young (1683 - 1765)

“You can’t roller-skate in a buffalo herd, but you can be happy if you’ve a mind to.” -Roger Miller

We are MFOL! . . . wishing you many trouble-free days as you make your way through a world in which more and more is possible all the time . . .

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Gratitude and Thankfulness

3/22/2021

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“There is always something to be thankful for!” -Author Unknown

“Live in gratitude. When you are thankful for what you have, you are always rewarded with more.” -Author Unknown

“Thank you, thank you very much!” -Elvis Presley (Elvis Aron Presley (1935 - 1977))

“The more you recognize and express gratitude for the things you have, the more things you will have to express gratitude for.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“It is a sign of mediocrity when you demonstrate gratitude with moderation.” -Roberto Benigni (Roberto Remigio Benigni (born 1952))

“No one who achieves success does so without the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude.” -Alfred North Whitehead (1861 - 1947)

“Appreciation can make a day - even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” -Margaret Cousins (Margaret Elizabeth Cousins (1878 - 1954))

A: Thank you very much.
B: You’re welcome very much!

“You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.” -Sarah Ban Breathnach (born 1947): “Simple Abundance” (1995)

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank, who?
You’re welcome!

“People who live the most fulfilling lives are the ones who are always rejoicing at what they have.” -Richard Carlson (1961 - 2006)

The Thank You Song

For soap and tissues
     And useful things
For jungle gyms
     And slides and swings
For music and stories
     And pictures gay
We sing our thank you song today
     For the blue of the sky
For the gold of the Sun
     For mothers and fathers
And friends and fun
     For bulbs in the soil
And fishes that play
     We sing our thank you song today.

by Author Unknown

“When we are grateful for the good we already have, we attract more good into our life. On the other hand, when we are ungrateful, we tend to shut ourselves off from the good we might otherwise experience.” -Margaret Stortz

“Gratitude makes everything turn into a gift.” -Author Unknown

“How happy a person is depends upon the depth of his gratitude.” -John Miller (1923 - 1961): as quoted in Edythe Draper: “Draper’s Book of Quotations for the Christian World” (1992), Entry 5249

“The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.” -William Blake (1757 - 1827)

“To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.” -Johannes A. Gaertner (Johannes Alexander Gaertner (1912 - 1996))

“Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you.” -Eileen Caddy (1917 - 2006)

“Gratitude is a fruit of great cultivation. You do not find it among gross people.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“Say thank you to everyone you meet for everything they do for you.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life.” -Christiane Northrup (born 1949)

“Gratitude is the memory of the heart.” -Jean-Baptiste Massieu (1772 - 1846)

“Many people who order their lives rightly in all other ways, are kept in poverty by their lack of gratitude.” -Wallace D. Wattles (Wallace Delois Wattles (1860 - 1911))

“My life isn’t perfect but I am thankful for everything I have.” -Author Unknown

“Gratitude is a sign of maturity . . . Where there is appreciation, there is also courtesy and concern for the rights and property of others.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Never forget those who helped you along the way.” -Author Unknown

“Gratitude in advance is the most powerful creative force in the Universe.” -Neale Donald Walsch (born 1943)

“Be thankful for the smallest blessing, and you will deserve to receive greater. Value the least gifts no less than the greatest, and simple graces as special favors. If you remember the dignity of the Giver, no gift will seem small or mean, for nothing can be valueless that is given by the most high God.” -Thomas à Kempis (1380 - 1471)

“A person who feels appreciated will always do more than is expected.” -Author Unknown

“Gratitude is Heaven itself.” -William Blake (1757 - 1827): as quoted in Alexander Gilchrist: “Life of William Blake” (1863), ‘1803-1804,’ page 200

“Take time today to appreciate someone who does something you take for granted.” -Author Unknown

“Outcomes rarely turn on grand gestures or the art of the deal, but on whether you’ve sent someone a thank-you note.” -Bernie Brillstein and David Rensin: “The Little Stuff Matters Most” (2004)

“Persons thankful for little things are certain to be the ones with much to be thankful for.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))

“Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“An ungrateful man is like a hog under a tree eating acorns, but never looking up to see where they come from.” -Timothy Dexter

“Happiness is itself a kind of gratitude.” -Joseph Wood Krutch (1893 - 1970)

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” -Melody Beattie (Melody Lynn Beattie (born 1948))

“No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake up each day and be thankful for life. Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive.” -Author Unknown

“‘Merry’ is a word for Christmas . . . ‘happy’ is a word for New Year’s . . . ‘thanks’ is a word for all year long.” -Author Unknown

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“Gratitude is like a magnet; the more grateful you are, the more you will receive to be grateful for.” -Iyanla Vanzant (born 1953 as Rhonda Eva Harris)

“A joyful and pleasant thing it is to be thankful.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “Book of Common Prayer” (1662), ‘Psalm 147,’ verse 16

“One act of thanksgiving made when things go wrong is worth a thousand when things go well.” -Author Unknown

“In everything give thanks.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘First Thessalonians,’ chapter 5, verse 18

“What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it - would you be likely to give them another? Life is the same way. In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have.” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955))

“It is not happy people who are thankful, but thankful people who are happy.” -Author Unknown

Hans: What do we often return but never borrow?
Grace: Thanks.

“What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?” -Author Unknown

“I woke up. I have clothes to wear. I have running water. I have food to eat. Life is good. I am thankful.” -Author Unknown

“Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.” -John Milton (1608 - 1674)

A grateful heart a garden is,
     Where there is always room
For every lovely God-like grace,
     To come to perfect bloom.
-Author Unknown: as quoted in “Christian Science Hymnal,” #3

“For whatever we have, be it little or much, we should be grateful.” -Author Unknown

“Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.” -Author Unknown

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say ‘thank you?’” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

In our daily lives, we must see
That it is not happiness that makes us grateful,
But the gratefulness that makes us happy.
-Albert Clarke

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” -Cicero (Marcus Tullius Cicero, also known as Tully (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.))

“The more you thank life, the more life gives you to be thankful for.” -Author Unknown

“Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty.” -Author Unknown

Not for the mighty world, O Lord, tonight,
     Nations and kingdoms in their fearful might -
Let me be glad the kettle gently sings,
     Let me be grateful for little things.
-Edna Jaques (Edna Parliament Jaques (1891 - 1978))

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Gratitude is the most exquisite form of courtesy.” -Jacques Maritain (1882 - 1973)

“Upon waking, let your first thought be, ‘Thank you.’” -Author Unknown

“Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it.” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955))

“Someone else is praying for the things you take for granted. Be thankful.” -Author Unknown

“If we appreciate what we have, it becomes more; if we belittle what we have, it becomes less.” -Author Unknown

“The greatest thing is to give thanks for everything. He who has learned this knows what it means to live. He has penetrated the whole mystery of life: Giving thanks for everything.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

“How do you say, ‘thank you,’ for sunshine or health . . . for clear days or gentle rains . . . for happiness, joy, or love? You say it by sharing what you have. You say it by making the world a better place in which to live.” -Thomas D. Willhite (1940 - 1983)

“Jesus, please teach me to appreciate what I have before time forces me to appreciate what I had.” -Susan L. Lenzkes

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more in life there will be to praise and celebrate.” -Author Unknown

“Gratitude takes three forms; a feeling in the heart, an expression in words, and giving in return.” -Author Unknown

“In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906 - 1945)

“He who can give thanks for little will always find he has enough.” -Author Unknown

“The enlightened give thanks for what most people take for granted . . . As you begin to be grateful for what most people take for granted, the vibration of gratitude makes you more receptive to good in your life.” -Michael Bernard Beckwith

“Ingratitude is one of our great sins.” -Ezra Taft Benson (1899 - 1994): as quoted in “Ensign” (May 1977), page 33

“No better words than ‘thank you’ have yet been discovered to express the sincere gratitude of one’s heart; when the two words are sincerely spoken.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“Gratitude is a duty which ought to be paid, but which none have a right to expect.” -Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712 - 1778)

“I wish that people would take the time to show people that they are important in their lives either at work or at home. Too many times people take others for granted and I think that needs to change. People are so much nicer and willing to help you if you use those two little words that mean so much . . . Thank You!” -Gina Gillespie

“Gratitude is the best attitude.” -Author Unknown

“If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily.” -Gerald Good

Overheard: Always say, “Thank you.”

This is MFOL! . . . thank you for including us in your day . . . much more fun and learning follows just below . . .

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Magic

3/20/2021

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“Magic is all around, you just have to believe.” -Author Unknown

“The art of a magician is to create wonder. If we all live with a sense of wonder, our lives will become filled with joy.” -The Great Doug Henning (Douglas James Henning (1947 - 2000))

In 1799, Count de Grisley became the first magician to perform the trick of sawing a woman in half, and ever since then, women everywhere have been eagerly lining up to be sawed in half - or perhaps not!

First Magician: What happened to the saw-a-woman-in-half act you used to do?
Second Magician: My assistant left me - she moved to New York and Los Angeles.

Magic Words
- Abracadabra!
- Hocus-pocus!
- Hot potato, jump-rope, kick-the-can!
- Parsley, peas, potatoes!
- Presto, change-o!
Many magicians create their own magic words, and so can you.

Boris: Why did the magician have to cancel his show?
Doris: He had just washed his hare and could not do anything with it.

The word ‘abracadra’ may have originated from the Aramaic phrase ‘avra kehdabra’ meaning ‘I will create as I speak.’

Howie: How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Howard: That is one trick they do not know - and besides, that is why they have assistants!

A Magician from Vermont

A magician who came from Vermont
Sawed a woman in half for a stunt.
When she mildly asked whether
He would put her together,
He replied, “I’ve decided I won’t.”

by Author Unknown

“Magic is believing in yourself. If you can do that, you can make anything happen.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

One technique for creating funny magic words is to ask for audience participation. Would someone please name a color? Would someone please name an animal? Would someone please name a food? Then you combine their answers, which might make something silly, such as, “Purple elephant ice cream!” which you use as the ‘magic words’ during your show.

“Abracadabbler: An amateur magician.” -Author Unknown

Examples of Magic Tricks
- Pulling a coin out from behind someone’s ear.
- Making a person or an object disappear and then reappear.
- Cutting something in half or destroying it and then making it reappear whole and undamaged, as for example, money or a handkerchief.
- Levitating (floating) someone or something.
Can you think of other magic tricks?

A magician was driving down a road when, Poof! - he turned into a parking lot.

Just as there are silent movies with musical accompaniment, there are magicians who perform without speaking, sometimes with dramatic music played during their shows or even a person who stands offstage or a short distance from the magician’s side and narrates, or describes what is happening, during the show, by reading from a memorized or printed prepared script.

“Magic is a secret, and without the secret there is no magic.” -Author Unknown

“Magic exists. Who can doubt it, when there are rainbows and wildflowers, the music of the wind and the silence of the stars? Anyone who has loved has been touched by magic. It is such a simple and such an extraordinary part of the lives we live.” -Nora Roberts (born 1950 as Eleanor Marie Robertson): “Charmed” (1992)

“I had loved magic tricks from the time I was six or seven. I bought books on magic. I did magic acts for my parents and their friends. I was aiming for show business from early days, and magic was the poor man’s way of getting in: you buy a trick for $2, and you’ve got an act.” -Steve Martin (Stephen Glenn ‘Steve’ Martin (born 1945)): as quoted in “Time Magazine” (24 August 1987)

“Perform as many times as you can in front of people you don’t know.” -Lance Burton (William Lance ‘Lance’ Burton (born 1960)), advice to those who would be magicians

Camilla: You know, I have half a mind to become a professional magician.
Pamela: That should do.

One way to make yourself and your magic show memorable is to do something that is unusual, different, or unique. For example, maybe you could use fruit such as apples, oranges, and bananas in your act. Make a piece of fruit disappear and reappear, and then toss it to a member of the audience. Make a piece of fruit levitate, and then throw it to someone in your audience. You could have someone dressed in a gorilla costume as your assistant. Instead of pulling a live rabbit or a toy rabbit out of a hat, you could pull balloon animals out of your hat and then hand them to children in the audience. Put your imagination to work!

“We do not need magic to change the world. We carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.” -J. K. Rowling (Joanne Kathleen ‘Jo’ Rowling (born 1965)): in a speech (2008) to Harvard Alumni Association

If you were going to pull a rabbit out of a hat, would you wave a magic wand . . . or would you entice the rabbit by waving a bright orange carrot?

“Spring animals are fake animals that are often used by magicians, clowns, comedians, and other entertainers. They can be made to appear very realistic with practice. The basic construction of the animal is of a spring wrapped in either real or artificial animal fur. Different colored fur is used for different spring animals.” -Greg McMahan (born 1960), website http://www.mistergreggy.com/

Whether you are an amateur or a professional magician, you must consider safety before doing any magic. You might develop a safety checklist to go over before each show. You would probably want to avoid using fire and flames and heat to avoid injuries to yourself, your assistant, any living creatures used in your act, and your audience members, and to avoid costly damage to your equipment or the building in which you are doing your show. If you use live animals, you will want to have the telephone number of more than one veterinarian in case an animal becomes sick or injured. You will likely want to either exercise caution or even completely avoid using anything with a sharp edge that could injure someone, including breakable glass and knives. Once you are certain everything is safe, get the show started and have fun!

A magician seeking to have his act booked at Radio City Music Hall asserted, “I’ve got a trick that will panic them.” “What is it?” asked the manager. “I saw a woman in half,” announced the magician proudly. “You call that a new trick?” scoffed the manager. “Why, they’ve been doing that around here for years.” “Oh, yeah,” snapped the magician. “How about lengthwise?”

Ask for a volunteer from the audience. Tell the person to take a coin from his or her pocket and hold it up in a closed fist so that you cannot see the date on the coin, and announce that you are going to tell everyone the date. Then, you say today’s date, which might be, for example, something like, “It’s Saturday, April 30, 2021,” even though the actual date on the coin might be something like just the year 1983. This is usually good for a laugh from the audience.

The teacher was discussing different jobs held by the parents of the students. When she called on Little Johnny, she asked, “And what does your father do?” “Oh, he’s a magician,” replied Johnny. “Really - and what’s his best trick?” “His best trick is sawing people in half.” “Wonderful!” exclaimed the teacher. “Tell me, are there any more children in your family?” “Yes ma’am, I have a half-brother and two half-sisters.”

Magicians and their magic acts are the center of their shows; however, magicians may have assistants. A magician’s assistant often does not speak during the magic acts, but stands by quietly and helps with the props or becomes a prop in the act, as when he or she is made to disappear, is sawed in half, or is levitated. Sometimes magicians encourage audience participation by asking people to be part of a magic act or to provide simple props such as coins or bills. While these audience members may seem to be randomly chosen people who are like everyone else in the audience, they actually may be friends or people the magician met with before the show and practiced the act with to be sure everything goes as planned.

Marlene: Why did illusionist Harry Houdini spend hours at the gym?
Arlene: He wanted to be fit to be tied.

If you did the old magic trick of sawing a lady in half, and you put the top half together with another lady, what you’d have is a ‘gallon a half’ . . . quite possibly that joke needs a little more work . . .

Magicians We Have Yet to See
- Cheery Houdini . . . the happy, smiling clown magician.
- Dairy Moodini . . . the cow magician.
- Fairy Houdini . . . does sprightly winged magic.
- Hairy Houdini . . . the magic monkey with a human assistant.
- Harry Linguini . . . the pasta chef magician.
- Harry Whoodini . . . the magician who gives a hoot like an owl.
- Hippie Houdini . . . does groovy magic with peace and love, man.
- Santa Houdini . . . arrives in a magic flying sleigh and pulls Christmas toys from a magic sack.
- Scary Houdini . . . shows up at your door on Halloween and makes your candy magically disappear.
Can you add to this list?

The most accomplished female magician in the world is Dorothy Dietrich (born 1969). She performs regularly at the Houdini Museum in Scranton, Pennsylvania, United States of America. She is also a ‘debunker,’ or someone who exposes lies, deceptions, and false ideas.

Allison: What does a martial arts magician say?
Allie: Jitsu-judo-karate . . . chop!

“You know, I do believe in magic. I was born and raised in a magic time, in a magic town, among magicians. Oh, most everybody else didn’t realize we lived in that web of chance and circumstance. But I knew it all along. When I was twelve years old, the world was my magic lantern, and by its glow I saw the past, the present, and into the future. You probably did too; you just don’t recall it. See, this is my opinion: we all start out knowing magic. We are born with whirlwinds, lightning bugs, and comets inside us. We are born able to sing to birds and read the clouds and see our destiny in dewdrops. But then we get the magic educated right out of our souls. We get it disciplined out, washed out, and combed out. We are told to be responsible. Told to act our age. Told to grow up for goodness’ sake. And you know why we were told that? Because the people doing the telling were afraid of our wildness and youth, and because the magic we knew made them ashamed and sad of what they had allowed to wither in themselves. After you go so far away from it, though, you can never really get it all back. You can get seconds of it. Just seconds of knowing and remembering. When people get weepy at movies, it is because in that dark theater the golden pool of magic is touched, just briefly. Then they come out into the harsh sunlight of logic and reason again and it dries up, and they are left feeling a little heart-sad and not knowing why. When a song stirs a memory, when motes of dust twirling in a shaft of light takes your attention from the world, when you listen to a coyote howling in the distance and wonder what it might be saying, you step beyond who you are and where you are. For the briefest of instants, you have stepped into the magic realm.” -Robert R. McCammon (Robert Rick McCammon (born 1952)): “Boy’s Life” (1991), Introduction

In addition to their costumes, magicians have ‘props’ that they use in their magic acts. Typical props might be a deck of playing cards, a small lightweight table with a tablecloth, several colored handkerchiefs, rabbits, birds, large coins, and specially made items for tricks.

“Cats are magical . . . the more you pet them, the longer you both live.” -attributed to Stephen King (Stephen Edwin King (born 1947)) (We suspect some sneaky cat slipped that line in here, because it is not exactly relevant to this topic.)

Famous People Who Started Out As Magicians
- Bob Barker (Robert William Barker (born 1923))
- Milton Berle (born Mendel Berlinger (1908 - 2002))
- Bill Bixby (Wilfred Bailey Everett ‘Bill’ Bixby III (1934 - 1993))
- Johnny Carson (John William ‘Johnny’ Carson (1925 - 2005))
- Dick Cavett (Richard Alva ‘Dick’ Cavett (born 1936))
- Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870))
- Cary Grant (pseudonym of Archibald Alexander Leach (1904 - 1986))
- Steve Martin (Stephen Glenn ‘Steve’ Martin (born 1945))
- Jimmy Stewart (James Maitland ‘Jimmy’ Stewart (1908 - 1997))
- Dick van Dyke (Richard Wayne ‘Dick’ Van Dyke (born 1925))
How about you?

“A little magic can take you a long way.” -Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990): “James and the Giant Peach” (1961)

A magician’s costume is commonly a top hat, a magic wand, and a set of clothes meant to help hold the audience’s attention through the use of eye-catching colors, quaint old-fashionedness, or an exotic appearance. A magician’s clothes may have many hidden pockets sewn into them. Some magicians also wear capes, false mustaches, false eyebrows, false beards, face paint, and other theatrical effects.

Martin: Have you heard about the magician who fell through the floorboards in the middle of his performance?
Marvin: Yes, but it is all right - he was just ‘going through a stage.’

“As a magician I promise never to reveal the secret of any illusion to a non-magician, unless that one swears to uphold the Magician’s Oath in turn. I promise never to perform any illusion for any non-magician without first practicing the effect until I can perform it well enough to maintain the illusion of magic.” -Author Unknown: Magician’s Oath

“That’s the thing with magic. You’ve got to know it’s still here, all around us, or it just stays invisible for you.” -Charles de Lint (born 1951)

People who learn to do magic in front of an audience also learn showmanship: timing, quick comebacks, appropriateness and inappropriateness of certain language, and the skill of continuing on even when things go wrong.

Whenever something goes wrong in your magic show, just tell your audience, “That is just how I planned it!” Then pause momentarily and continue on to your next trick.

Attempts have been made to link performance magic, or magic tricks, to occultism, but this is a misuse of magic by occultists to try to make their occult beliefs appealing to people, and thereby draw people into occultism. Performance magic stands on its own and is not to be confused with occultism.

“Nothing I do can’t be done by a 10-year-old with 15 years of practice.” -Harry Blackstone, Junior (Harry Bouton Blackstone, Junior (1934 - 1997))

Double or Nothing Magic Trick. Tell a friend or an adult that you will be able to double their money without buying anything, going on the Stock Exchange, or using a computer. Then ask them for a dollar bill. Simply fold the bill in half and say, “There! I doubled your money!”

“The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.” -Bertrand A. Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

“Shazam!” is a magic acronymic word created from Solomon, Hercules, Atlas, Zeus, Achilles, and Mercury, and it is said to invoke their powers. An acronym is a word created typically by combining the first letter in each word in a phrase or list.

“The world is its own magic.” -Shunryu Suzuki (1904 - 1971)

Some magic wands are hollow inside to conceal handkerchiefs, powders that produce puffs like smoke but without fire or flames, or shiny colorful glitter. Magic wands can be made from rolled-up sheets of paper or wood or plastic sticks. Magicians typically wave their magic wands or tap other props such as their magic hats atop their heads, while saying magic words such as, “Abrakadabra alakazam, let’s hope it goes as planned!”

“Everything is made out of magic: leaves and trees, flowers and birds, badgers and foxes, and squirrels and people. So it must be all around us. In this garden - in all the places.” -Frances Hodgson Burnett (1849 - 1924): “The Secret Garden” (1911)

What do magicians have in common with clowns, actors, musicians, and authors? Like the aforementioned folks, most professional, part-time, and amateur magicians have stage names, or names that they use in association with their magic acts, often in conjunction with somewhat exaggerated descriptive words about their acts and personas. Their stage names include words such ‘the Great’ or ‘the Amazing.’ So, if you are Jimmy O’Reilly in your private life, you might take up your hat, wand, and cape to become ‘Jacob the Fantastical Wizard of Illusion and Master of Magical Mayhem’ or if you are Sarah Sumner in your personal life, you might grab your rabbits, doves, baby chicks, and artificial flowers to become ‘the Astounding Animal Acts and Flying Floral Arrangements of Mrs. Priscilla Piccadilly’ (any resemblance to persons living or otherwise is purely coincidental). Even the magical Harry Houdini had a real name: Erich Weiss (born Erik Weisz and also known as Harry Weiss and possibly by other names (1874 - 1926)).

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you, because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” -Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990): “The Minpins” (1990)

This is MFOL! . . . all it takes is a little magic . . . and for our next act, we will be doing even more silly fun stuff . . .

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Opportunities and Possibilities

3/14/2021

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Your golden opportunity awaits . . . right this way, please . . .

“Opportunity, sooner or later, comes to all who work and wish.” -Edward George Geoffrey Smith-Stanley (1799 - 1869)

“Any human anywhere will blossom in a hundred unexpected talents and capacities simply by being given the opportunity to do so.” -Doris Lessing (Doris May Lessing (1919 - 2013))

“If you miss an opportunity, that is not the end. Another one will come. Just prepare yourself as best you can so that you do not miss the next one.” -Author Unknown

“Far too many people have no idea of what they can do because all they have been told is what they can’t do.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.” -Demosthenes (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.)

“Opportunity is often dressed up in work clothes.” -Croft M. Pentz

“Opportunities multiply as they are seized.” -Sun-Tzu: “The Art of War” (3rd century B.C.E.)

“Opportunities don’t happen, you create them.” -Chris Grosser

“I’ve been lucky. Opportunities don’t often come along. So, when they do, you have to grab them.” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

“Opportunity is rare, and a wise man will never let it go by him.” -Bayard Taylor (1825 - 1878)

“Be ready when opportunity comes . . . Luck is the time when preparation and opportunity meet.” -Roy D. Chapin, Junior (Roy Dikeman Chapin, Junior (1915 - 2001))

“Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers.” -Author Unknown

“Be a can-do, will-try person. Focus on what you have and not what you don’t have, what you can do rather than what you cannot do.” -Marian Wright Edelman (born 1939)

“Opportunity does not come and knock on our doors. We must ourselves go knocking on doors to find opportunity, persistently knocking until we have an answer, either yes or no, and then we go on to the next ten thousand doors, one at a time, without pausing between them, smiling as best we are able, and speaking our carefully prepared and memorized introductions in a polite conversational style.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“We must look for the opportunity in every difficulty instead of being paralyzed at the thought of the difficulty in every opportunity.” -Walter E. Cole, Junior (1926 - 2018)

“Your aspirations are your possibilities.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“You may miss all of the good opportunities if you are willing to try only what you are fairly certain you can succeed at. You have to try many things that might, or might not, work out.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If you don’t hear opportunity knocking, find another door.” -Author Unknown

“Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don’t recognize them.” -John J. Ingalls (John James Ingalls (1833 - 1900))

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Opportunity.
Opportunity, who?
Fooled you - opportunity only knocks once!

“Some say opportunity knocks only once, that is not true. Opportunity knocks all the time, but you have to be ready for it.” -Louis L’Amour (born Louis Dearborn LaMoore (1908 - 1988))

“If you’re looking for a big opportunity, seek out a big problem.” -Author Unknown

“Opportunity is a parade. Even as one chance passes, the next is a fife and drum echoing in the distance.” -Robert Brault (born 1938)

“It is often hard to distinguish between the hard knocks in life and those of opportunity.” -Frederick Phillips

“Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)): “Tales of the Jazz Age” (1922), ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’

“Thou hast only to follow the wall far enough and there will be a door in it.” -Marguerite de Angeli (1889 - 1987): “The Door in the Wall” (1949)

“Just because a door closes, doesn’t mean that it’s locked.” -Hannah Vlach

“Opportunity seems to have an uncanny habit of favoring those who have paid the price of years of preparation.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “Highways of Happiness”

“The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are.” -John Burroughs (1837 - 1921)

“Wherever there is danger, there lurks opportunity; whenever there is opportunity, there lurks danger. The two are inseparable. They go together.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“Don’t wait for the right opportunity; create it.” -George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

“Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don’t recognize them.” -Ann Landers (pseudonym of Esther Pauline Friedman (1918 - 2002))

“Our thoughts and imagination are the only real limits to our possibilities.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Your only limitations are those you set up in your mind, or permit others to set up for you.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.” -Author Unknown

“Are you missing opportunities because you are too focused on obstacles?” -Jeffrey Gitomer (born 1946)

“Learn to listen. Opportunity sometimes knocks very softly.” -Author Unknown

“Let us seize, friends, our opportunity from the day as it passes.” -Quintus Horatius Flaccus (also known simply as Horace (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.))

“Opportunities are seldom labeled.” -John A. Shedd (John Augustus Shedd (1859 - 1928))

“Most people live, whether physically, intellectually, or morally, in a very restricted circle of their potential being. They make use of a very small portion of their possible consciousness, and of their soul’s resources in general, much like a man who, out of his whole bodily organism, should get into a habit of using and moving only his little finger.” -William James (1842 - 1910): as quoted in “The Letters of William James” (1920)

“Your diamonds are not in far distant mountains or in yonder seas; they are in your own backyard, if you but dig for them.” -Russell H. Conwell (Russell Herman Conwell (1843 - 1945)): “Acres of Diamonds” (1890)

“Within our dreams and aspirations we find our opportunities.” -Sue Ebaugh (Sue Atchley Ebaugh)

“Men who are resolved to find a way for themselves will always find opportunities enough; and if they do not find them, they will make them.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“It is one of life’s laws that as soon as one door closes another opens. But the tragedy is we look at the closed door and disregard the open one.” -André Gide (André Paul Guillaume Gide (1869 - 1951))

“Opportunity seekers do not sit at home waiting by the telephone or the computer, nor do they hang out in familiar haunts and with the same old crowd. Opportunity seekers go out and knock on unfamiliar doors and enter intimidating buildings and go up and down on elevators and stairs. They do a lot of walking, dressed and groomed as best they can, doing best what they can with what they have until they have more and know more. They meet people who are better than they are, who outclass them in every way, but they continue on.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Opportunity . . . often it comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great. Weak men wait for opportunities; strong men make them.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.” -Doug Larson (1902 - 1981)

Awake! arise! the hour is late!
Angels are knocking at thy door!
They are in haste and cannot wait,
And once departed come no more.
Awake! arise! the athlete’s arm
Loses its strength by too much rest;
The fallow land, the untilled farm
Produces only weeds at best.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

“It’s hard to hear when opportunity is knocking if you are too busy knocking the opportunity.” -Author Unknown

“What is opportunity, and when does it knock? It never knocks. You can wait a whole lifetime, listening, hoping, and you will hear no knocking. None at all. You are opportunity, and you must knock on the door leading to your destiny. You prepare yourself to recognize opportunity, to pursue and seize opportunity as you develop the strength of your personality, and build a self-image with which you are able to live - with your self-respect alive and growing.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“Opportunity knocks once at every man’s door and then keeps on knocking.” -George Ade (1866 - 1944)

“Grasp your opportunities, no matter how poor your health; nothing is worse for your health than boredom.” -Mignon McLaughlin

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” -Thomas A. Edison (Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931)): as quoted in John L. Mason: “An Enemy Called Average” (1990), page 55

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their head turned up way too loud to hear it.” -Brian Vaszily

“Determine your future now by taking hold of every opportunity.” -Debbye Turner

“Opportunity is more valuable than money.” -Grant Cardone (born 1958), website https://grantcardone.com/

“People wait for opportunity to come along . . . yet it is there every morning.” -attributed to Dennis the Menace

“Small opportunities are often the beginnings of great achievements.” -Calvin Coolidge (John Calvin Coolidge (1872 - 1933))

“When opportunity knocks, you can’t say, ‘Come back later.’” -Leonard Turkel (1930 - 2011)

“That old saying about opportunity only knocking once is as archaic as the flat-Earth theory and as patently untrue. Opportunity knocks all the time - and it rings your doorbell, calls you up, and sends you e-mails.” -Victoria Moran (born 1950), website https://mainstreetvegan.net/

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” -Milton Berle (born Mendel Berlinger (1908 - 2002))

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Book of Matthew,’ chapter 7, verses 7 and 8 (see also verses 9 through 12)

“The activity you’re most avoiding contains your biggest opportunity.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

“Learn to ask for what you want . . . The worst people can do is not give you what you ask for - which is precisely where you were before you asked.” -Peter McWilliams (1949 - 2000)

“Little opportunities should be improved.” -Francois de Salignac Fenelon (1651 - 1715)

“We have the power within, but the secret of success is to employ our power and talents and be prepared for opportunity when it comes.” -Walter Matthews (1926 - 2012)

“Opportunities are often things you haven’t noticed the first time around.” -Catherine Deneuve (pseudonym of Catherine Fabienne Dorléac (born 1943))

“The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Jumping at several small opportunities may get us there more quickly than waiting for one big one to come along.” -Hugh Allen (Hugh Percy Allen (1869 - 1946))

“Most successful men have not achieved their distinction by having some new talent or opportunity presented to them. They have developed the opportunity that was at hand.” -Bruce Barton (1886 - 1967)

“Opportunity dances with those on the dance floor.” -attributed to H. Jackson Brown, Junior (Harriett Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940))

“Arrange whatever pieces come your way.” -Virginia Woolf (Adeline Virginia Woolf (1882 - 1941))

“Every situation, properly perceived, becomes an opportunity.” -Helen Schucman (Helen Cohn Schucman (born Helen Dora Cohn (1909 - 1981)))

“With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable.” -Thomas Buxton (Thomas Fowell Buxton (1786 - 1845)): as quoted in Frank Leslie: “Sunday Magazine” (January - June 1886), Volume XIX, page 89

“When opportunity knocks, don’t question your ability based on your shortcomings. Know your strengths and start your journey!” -Author Unknown

“Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ‘em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.” -Theodore Roosevelt (Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919))

We are MFOL! . . . wishing you always increasing success as you journey through a world of endless possibilities . . .

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Shyness

3/7/2021

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Every wallflower looks forward to the Springtime of his or her blossoming . . .

“There is a shyness about me, and I really need to get out more.” -Priscilla Presley (Priscilla Ann Presley (born 1945))

“What the word shyness basically refers to is if someone is worried about how he or she appears to other people.” -Wanda Bethea

“Shyness displays itself differently in me. I think it’s more an awkwardness.” -Daniel Radcliffe

“Quiet people have the loudest minds.” -Stephen King (Stephen Edwin King (born 1947))

“If you want to do something big in your life, you must remember that shyness is only in the mind. If you think shy, you act shy. If you think confidant, you act confidant. Therefore, never let shyness conquer your mind.” -Arfa Karim Randhawa (Arfa Abdul Karim Randhawa (1995 - 2012))

“You know what my greatest personal stumbling block is? My shyness.” -Susan Lucci (Susan Victoria Lucci (born 1946))

“I like parties, but I’m shy, and I often find myself standing around, feeling awkward.” -Michael Bergin (Michael John Bergin (born 1969))

What is shyness? Shyness is a feeling of extreme discomfort and intense inhibition in social situations, preventing an individual from participating in interpersonal interactions and relationships. The physical symptoms of shyness can include blushing, sweating, rapid heartbeat, trembling or shaking, difficulty speaking, and upset stomach. Shy individuals feel insecure about themselves, have huge concerns about how others view them, and have a strong tendency to withdraw from and avoid social situations.

“I am quite shy and people think I’m aloof.” -Kristen Stewart (Kristen Jaymes Stewart (born 1990))

“The two commonest mistakes in judgement . . . are, the confounding of shyness with arrogance - a very common mistake indeed - and the not understanding that an obstinate nature exists in a perpetual struggle with itself.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 -1870))

“When you’re worried, tell yourself the truth: Shyness is a strength to build on, not a character flaw to be stamped out.” -Author Unknown: “Shyness Is Not a Character Flaw” (at the Malvern School)

“Scientists have found the gene for shyness. They would have found it years ago, but it was hiding behind a couple of other genes.” -Jonathan Katz (Jonathan Paul Katz (born 1946))

What causes shyness? Some people claim shyness is caused entirely by genetics, but it is likely closer to the truth that shyness has more than a single cause. Individuals vary, but other possible causes of shyness include emotional abuse, physical abuse, being bullied, moving often, being different from other people - and there are so many ways in which people are different that there is not enough space to list them here, prolonged isolation, poverty, hardships, losses, medical conditions, traumatization, upbringing, being the new guy or gal, culture shock, social inexperience, or a general difference in life experiences. Some shy people may have dealt with every single one of these things and more in their lives.

“If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.” -Dorothy Law Nolte (1924 - 2005): “Children Learn What They Live: Parenting to Inspire Values” (1998), page vi

“In talking, shyness and timidity distort the very meaning of my words. I don’t pretend to know anybody well. People are like shadows to me and I am like a shadow.” -Gwen John (Gwendolen Mary John (1876 - 1939))

“I bought a book to help me overcome my shyness and it really works - now I can talk to people while hiding behind it!” -Author Unknown

Shyness can hold back a student’s progress in school . . .

“I was actually pretty shy in school. My defense mechanism was to be the class clown. I remember getting into a lot of trouble for being disruptive, and I was brought in front of the head teacher, who said, ‘What’s going to happen to you - what are you going to do when you grow up?’ And I said, ‘Well, I’m obviously going to be a comedian.’” -Adam Clayton

“I’m very shy, so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.” -Don Rickles (Donald Jay ‘Don’ Rickles (1926 - 2017))

“And like the old stereotype, I overcame my shyness by making my friends laugh.” -Paul Merton (pseudonym of Paul James Martin (born 1957))

“The level of shyness has gone up dramatically in the last decade. I think shyness is an index of social pathology rather than a pathology of the individual.” -Philip Zimbardo (Philip George Zimbardo (born 1933))

“If you do not make small talk, you will never make big talk.” -Author Unknown

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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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Shyness and Self-Esteem

While not all shy people have low self-esteem, shyness is often seen as a symptom of fear or lack of self-confidence. When you’re shy, it usually means that you’re self-conscious and worried about what other people think about you. Occasional shyness is normal, but when it becomes a habit, it can be detrimental to your progress in all of life: work, school, friendships, and social activities.

Because of the connection between shyness and self-esteem, building your self-esteem step-by-step can help you overcome your shyness. There are several things you can do to boost your self-esteem, whether you’re suffering from depression or you’re just having a bad day.

Make an inventory of things that you like about yourself. Do this as often as necessary. You can write anything - from simple things such as your ability to whistle, or more complex things such as your strength of character. It doesn’t mean that you should ignore your weaknesses and pretend that they don’t exist, you just have to accept yourself for who you are. Don’t include things such as financial success, the admiration of your peers, or the way you look. After all, self-esteem is about how you view yourself - these external factors don’t matter. When you gauge your strengths, you’ll be able to see how unique and valuable you are.

Find something that you’re good at, and work on it. If you have the talent for cooking, why not work on some new and original dishes? Activities involving art, such as painting and writing, can definitely give your mind a feeling of freedom and accomplishment. Even bird watching can improve your mood greatly. Whatever your talents are, make sure that you get to ‘practice’ them once a week, so that your mind will be given a chance to refresh itself after a stressful week of work or school.

Only recall good, happy, and exciting memories. Whenever you’re sitting down to think, make sure that you actively call out happy memories. This is because when you start thinking negatively, an entire swarm of negative feelings and memories will come right at you. Don’t waste your time with the bad. Think only of the good things you experienced, the great people you encountered, and even funny jokes you have heard.

Volunteer your time to the community or work with outreach programs. Being in a team that helps others allows you to think beyond yourself. Keep yourself busy by interacting with other people and learning from them. You’ll find that most people are very much like you - they all want to be surrounded by their loved ones, they have their own fears, and they also deal with feelings of inadequacy. When you realize that other people are just like you, you’ll see that there’s nothing to fear in social situations.

By conquering any feelings of low self-esteem, you will realize that you are deserving of love, admiration, and respect. When you realize this, you will also be able to conquer your shyness during social situations.

by Author Unknown

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“I love being by myself, love being outdoors, love taking a long walk with my dogs and looking at the trees, flowers, the sky.” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

“My personality is hard to explain. I’m a big personality, and I enjoy being social. But I’m shy at first and sometimes ramble too much. I’m a shy extrovert.” -Author Unknown

Being ‘introverted’ and being ‘shy’ are not the same thing. Many introverts are not shy and many shy people are not introverts. The literal meaning of ‘introvert’ is ‘inward focused’ and usually refers to people who give their greatest attention to their own interests, often having little inclination to the interests of others. Shy people, however, are very often frustrated extroverts, that is, people who would like to be outgoing and social, but who also feel inhibited or held back.

“Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating. Shyness is inherently painful; introversion is not.” -Susan Cain (Susan Horowitz Cain (born 1968)): “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” (24 January 2012)

“I grew up being very shy, very much a bookworm, and I remember desperately wondering how to be accepted by the popular kids.” -Lisa Kleypas (born 1964)

Shyness can stall a person’s work and career success - if he or she can get started at all . . .

“Shyness is nice, but shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life that you’d like to do.” -Steven Morrissey (Steven Patrick Morrissey (born 1959))

“Introductions are hard to come by when your natural state is shyness.” -Steve Martin (Stephen Glenn ‘Steve’ Martin (born 1945))

“We fail more often by timidity than by over-daring.” -David Grayson (1870 - 1946)

Wallflower: A decoration for ballrooms.

Is it possible that shyness is sometimes a temporary state, like anger or fear, rather than being something permanent, like height or eye color?

“Life is too short to be shy!” -Carolyn Schrieber

“I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it myself.” -Author Unknown

“The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid.” -Claudia Alta ‘Lady Bird’ Johnson (born Claudia Alta Taylor (1912 - 2007))

“I genuinely enjoy talking one-to-one. I have no shyness about that.” -Stephanie Beacham (born 1947)

“Sometimes those who don’t socialize much aren’t actually anti-social, they just have no tolerance for drama and fake people.” -Author Unknown

“I’m just shy - not antisocial - you can talk to me!” -Author Unknown

“Even when a person is as shy as a mouse, you still have to beware of the tiger within.” -Author Unknown

“I have had strange animals as pets all my life. I was shy growing up, and shy people tend to interact better with animals than people. Animals are direct, not duplicitous.” -Yvonne Craig (Yvonne Joyce Craig (1937 - 2015))

We cannot make shy people become non-shy by causing them to feel bad about being shy. Do not call a shy person antisocial, arrogant, egotistical, narcissistic, self-centered, mentally ill, introverted, slow, or sneaky - none of these things are what shyness is, and name calling and labeling will not help. Always remember: Just because you have labeled people does not mean you have helped them. Do not ridicule, tease, shame, or bully shy people. Instead, focus on encouragement, and if you know how, coaching or social skills teaching, keeping in mind that many shy people may very well know more about social skills than you do, but may simply have never had a safe opportunity to try them out and put them into regular practice.

“Women like silent men. They think they’re listening.” -Marcel Achard (born Marcel-Augustin Ferréol (1899 - 1974)) (4 November 1956)

Overheard: My shyness has ruined so many opportunities.

“Cameras are a lifesaver for very shy people who have nowhere else to hide. Behind a lens they can disguise the fact that they have nothing to say to strangers.” -Pat Conroy: “Beach Music” (July 1995) novel

“It’s funny - when people call you ‘shy,’ they usually smile. Like it’s cute, some funny little habit you’ll grow out of when you’re older, like the gaps in your grin when your baby teeth fall out. If they knew how it felt - really being shy, not just unsure at first - they wouldn’t smile. Not if they knew how the feeling knots up your stomach or makes your palms sweat or robs you of the ability to say anything that makes sense. It’s not cute at all.” -Author Unknown

“A struggle with shyness is in every actor more than anyone can imagine.” -Marilyn Monroe (Norma Jean Mortenson (1926 - 1962))

“Stage persona notwithstanding, I’m extremely shy and quiet. Almost painfully shy. People misinterpret that as being above it all or not interested.” -J. Michael Straczynski (Joseph Michael Straczynski (born 1954))

“The fact of the matter is that most actors are shy people.” -Roger Moore (Roger George Moore (1927 - 2017))

“I think I had a shyness about me, I think I discovered acting as a way to break out of that and as a way of belonging, a sense of being special.” -Michael C. Hall (Michael Carlyle Hall (born 1971))

Perhaps the most important consideration in addressing shyness is that we not waste people’s entire lifetimes while we argue over how to categorize shyness, whether it is caused by nature or nurture, or genetics or environment, or who is at fault. Instead, we need to focus on determining whether particular shy individuals are comfortable with their shyness or if they are suffering from their shyness. If they are comfortable with their shyness, we should let them be who they are. If they are suffering from their shyness, we should use the best of our humanity to help them. We can experiment a little - trying different ideas, discarding ideas that do not work and keeping ideas that do work.

“Shyness is really wondering if you have other people’s approval.” -Dorothy Sarnoff (1914 - 2008)

“I am very shy - really shy - I even had a stutter as a kid, which I slowly got over, but I still regress into that shyness. So I don’t like walking into a crowded restaurant by myself; I don’t like going to a party by myself.” -Nicole Kidman (Nicole Mary Kidman (born 1967))

“Writing is show business for shy people. That’s how I see it.” -Lee Child (pseudonym of James D. ‘Jim’ Grant (born 1954))

“I’ve gotten better at not making people feel uncomfortable with my shyness.” -Clea DuVall (Clea Helen D’Etienne DuVall (born 1977))

“I don’t really want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you’re alive, you got to flap your arms and legs, you got to jump around a lot, you got to make a lot of noise . . . as I see it, if you’re quiet, you’re not living. You’ve got to be noisy, or at least your thoughts should be noisy and colorful and lively.” -Mel Brooks (born Melvin Kaminsky (born 1926))

“Sometimes quiet people really do have a lot to say, they’re just being careful about who they open up to.” -Author Unknown

Maribelle: What did the shy pebble say?
Clarabelle: “I wish I was a little boulder.”

“If you are shy, know that there can be some situations and circumstances in which you are not shy. Try to find them, and within them, give yourself the chance to learn and grow and develop, and in time, you will find yourself less shy in a wider range of situations and circumstances.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

This is MFOL! . . . where wallflowers bloom . . . in perpetual Springtime . . .

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Goals and Planning

3/5/2021

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Never give up on your dreams . . .

“Take your dreams up off the shelf! Put your goals in front of you, and follow them. Focus. Strive. This is what you should be doing; this is what you are here for! You are here to dream, and to live your dreams! This is how things were meant to be. It is time to get back to basics. The essence of your life is your dream! What have you always been dreaming about, ever since you were a youngster? Visualize it, define it, and then go for it! Become happy and share that happiness with the world.” -Author Unknown

“The most important thing about having goals is having one.” -Geoffrey Abert

“I have come up with a plan so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel.” -Rowan Atkinson (born 1955): “Black Adder the Third” (British television show)

“If you go to work on your goals, your goals will go to work on you. If you go to work on your plan, your plan will go to work on you. Whatever good things we build end up building us.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“If ‘Plan A’ fails, remember there are twenty-five more letters.” -Claire Cook

“One simple mental trick has changed my life. A wise retired railway worker named Danny Breslin told me about it. When you are faced with a task you do not want to perform, do not think of the task as a whole. Do not focus on the hardest part of it. Instead, ask yourself, ‘What is the least I can do towards accomplishing this task? What is the irreducible minimum?’ Do that and you have started on the task itself. So, for instance, if you are procrastinating about a letter you have to write, put aside the thought of the letter itself and what you will say in it. Instead, think of the least you can do towards it, which is getting a pen and paper ready. By doing this you will usually find that you can then actually start writing the letter itself.” -Celia Haddon (born 1945)

“To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time.” -Leonard Bernstein (1918 - 1990)

When any great design thou dost intend,
Think on the means, the manner, and the end.
-John Denham (1615 - 1669): “Of Prudence”

“The weakest living creature, by concentrating his powers on a single object, can accomplish something; whereas the strongest, by dispersing his over many, may fail to accomplish anything.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“Plan your work and work your plan.” -Author Unknown

“He who every morning plans the transaction of the day and follows out that plan, carries a thread that will guide him through the maze of the most busy life. But where no plan is laid, where the disposal of time is surrendered merely to the chance of incidence, chaos will soon reign.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“Don’t be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so.” -Belva Davis (born Belvagene Melton (1932)), website http://www.belvadavis.com/

“It takes a mad genius to reach some goals.” -Daniel Akst (born 1956)

“We rarely succeed at anything unless we have fun doing it.” -Author Unknown

Work diligently toward a goal;
On plans and dreams often dwell;
Don’t wait until you are thirsty,
Before you dig a well.
-Rosemary Perry

“People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“The person with a fixed goal, a clear picture of his desire, or an ideal always before him, causes it, through repetition, to be buried deeply in his subconscious mind and is thus enabled, thanks to its generative and sustaining power, to realize his goal in a minimum of time and with a minimum of physical effort. Just pursue the thought unceasingly. Step by step you will achieve realization, for all your faculties and powers become directed to that end.” -Claude M. Bristol (Claude Myron Bristol (1891 - 1951))

“The vital, successful people I have met all had one common characteristic. They had a plan.” -Marilyn Van Derbur (Marilyn Elaine Van Derbur (born 1937))

“The discipline of writing something down is the first step toward making it happen.” -Lee Iacocca (Lido Anthony ‘Lee’ Iacocca (1924 - 2019))

“You will have wonderful surges forward. Then there must be a time of consolidating before the next forward surge. Accept this as part of the process and never become downhearted.” -Eileen Caddy (1917 - 2006)

“Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work.” -H. L. Hunt (Haroldson Lafayette ‘H. L.’ Hunt, Junior (1889 - 1974))

“The basic goal-reaching principle is to understand that you go as far as you can see, and when you get there you will be able to see farther.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

Write Down Your Goals!

If you don’t write your goal down on paper,
Beware, it may try to be an escaper.
But when you do write your goal in your journal,
What you have done is planted a kernel.
And everyone, who knows anything knows,
That what a man reaps is what a man sows!
So write down your hopes and journal your goals
And press on through the highs and the lows.
Through the thick and through the thin,
If you never, never quit - eventually you win.
In every failure is a seed of success,
So keep trying, keep trying -
And you’ll be the best.
Write down your goals
And surprise the rest.

by Al Argo

“What you get by reaching your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012)): “Biscuits, Fleas, and Pump Handles” (1974), ‘Segment 4: Goals,’ Chapter 4: Reaching Your Goals, page 171

“Don’t let anyone steal your dream. It’s your dream, not theirs.” -Dan Zadra (Daniel W. Zadra, Senior (born 1946)), website http://zadracreative.com/

“Yes, you can be a dreamer and a doer, too, if you will remove one word from your vocabulary: impossible.” -Robert Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

Make a written plan . . . and re-read it often.

“You can do anything you want in your life and in your career if you have written goals and a plan to get there, and also the commitment to follow through.” -Carol Halsey

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Achieving Your Goals

1. Break your goals into smaller parts.
- Many people abandon their goals because the goals are too big and vague.
- Break goals down into smaller parts.
- Decide on concrete and measurable actions.
- Have solid ideas of what a successful completion of a goal looks like.
2. Commit time daily to goals.
- You do not have necessarily have to commit hours at a time to accomplish a goal, you just have to be focused.
- The greatest advances often occur as the sum total of a series of small efforts.
- Commit to spending at least 15 minutes a day on specific goals.
- Do something that moves you closer to accomplishing your goals.
3. Talk to yourself.
- Repetition is the root of success.
- Remind yourself of your goals every day.
- Turn your most important goal into a one-sentence afﬁrmation.
- Phrase it as though you have already accomplished your goal.
- Repeat regularly and it becomes your natural way of thinking.
4. Make a serious commitment to your goals.
- Make yourself accountable by telling a few trustworthy people of your plans.
- Hope they become interested in your progress and check in with you.
- This will inspire you to keep going and overcome obstacles.
- It is hard not to achieve goals when others are watching and encouraging us.
5. Write your goals down.
- If you write goals down, they are more likely to come to pass.
- Invest time and energy writing your goals down.
- Putting goals on paper makes you more committed to the outcome.
- Reread your goals list periodically.
- It is beneficial to cross items off when they are completed.
6. Review your goals and your progress weekly.
- Re-evaluate each goal as circumstances change.
- If your priorities change, drop goals from your list or add new ones.
- Ask yourself ‘why’ if you have not made progress; ﬁnd out what is in your way.
- Question if unachieved goals are still important to you.
7. If possible, ﬁnd a friend.
- Try to get friends to help out with your project.
- Offer to reciprocate and help your friend in return.
- Two can get more done in a shorter period of time than one.
- You hold each other accountable to accomplishing your goals.
8. Reward yourself.
- As you plan your goals, attach speciﬁc rewards to each goal.
- The reward should be commensurate with the amount of work.
- Be consistent about rewarding yourself for every accomplishment.
- Each completion deserves a reward, no matter how small.
9.Take time to enjoy success.
- Take time to acknowledge the fact that you have accomplished a goal.
- Don’t simply charge into the next task or in time, you will likely burn out.
- Remember the time and effort you invested.
- Savor the feeling of completion.
- Refresh and renew your enthusiasm before you continue.

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“Cultivate the habit of setting clearly-defined written goals; they are the road maps that guide you to your destination.” -Roy T. Bennett

“You must keep your mind on the objective, not on the obstacle.” -William Randolph Hearst (1863 - 1951)

“The secret to productive goal setting is in establishing clearly defined goals, writing them down and then focusing on them several times a day with words, pictures, and emotions as if we’ve already achieved them.” -Denis Waitley (Denis Edwin Waitley, Senior (born 1933)), website https://www.deniswaitley.com/

“Each step forward is one less step that has to be taken.” -Brian Adams

The goal shapes the plan.
The plan shapes the action.
The action achieves the results.
The results bring success.
-Author Unknown

“Goals are simply tools to focus your energy in positive directions, these can be changed as your priorities change, new ones added, and others dropped.” -O. Carl Simonton (Oscar Carl Simonton, Junior (1942 - 2009))

“Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire, and begin at once, whether you’re ready or not, to put it into action.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Know what you want to do, hold the thought firmly, and do every day what should be done, and every sunset will see you that much nearer the goal.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“If you have no goals, another day of your life just passes you by.” -Author Unknown

“To reach a goal you have never before attained, you must do things you have never before done.” -Richard G. Scott (Richard Gordon Scott (1928 - 2015))

“Have the dogged determination to follow through to achieve your goal; regardless of circumstances or whatever other people say, think, or do.” -Paul J. Meyer (Paul James Meyer (1928 - 2009))

“You cannot trust everyone with your dreams, just a very few people. Beware of dream destroyers, those people who pick away at you and your ideas, people who only find fault and reason to criticize, people who keep themselves and others locked into small lives that lack any worthy attainments. Seek out those few individuals who can inspire and motivate you as you work to make your dreams come true.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Reduce your plan to writing . . . The moment you complete this, you will have definitely given concrete form to the intangible desire.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Every minute you spend in your life is either spent bringing you closer to your goals or moving you away from your goals.” -Bo Bennett (Robert Foster ‘Bo’ Bennett (born 1972))

“Even if I don’t reach all my goals, I’ve gone higher than I would have if I hadn’t set any.” -Danielle Fotopoulos (Danielle Ruth Garrett Fotopoulos (born 1976))

“You can achieve almost any goal if you just do what other successful people have done to achieve the same goals before you.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Review your goals twice every day in order to be focused on achieving them.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945))

“The secret of life is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything to, every minute of the day for the rest of your life. And the most important thing is, it must be something you cannot possibly do.” -Henry Moore (1898 - 1986)

“Whether or not you reach your goals in life depends entirely on how well you prepare for them and how badly you want them.” -Ronald McNair (1950 - 1986)

“Find a peaceful place where you can make plans for the future. Clear away all distractions: everything within your visual field, everything in your periphery vision, all noises . . . now get to the work of considering what you want to achieve, writing it down in simple yet specific words.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1900 - 1944)

“You’ve got to think about big things while you’re doing small things, so that all the small things go in the right direction.” -Alvin Toffler (1928 - 2016)

“Don’t be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can’t cross a chasm in two small steps.” -David Lloyd George (1863 - 1945)

“You can do what you want to do, accomplish what you want to accomplish, attain any reasonable objective you may have in mind - not all of a sudden, perhaps not in one swift and sweeping act of achievement - but you can do it gradually, day by day and play by play, if you want to do it, if you work to do it, over a sufficiently long period of time.” -William E. Holler (William E. ‘Bill’ Holler (1888 - 1969))

“Keep true to the dreams of thy youth.” -Johann Friedrich von Schiller (1759 - 1805)

“Instead of thinking about where you are, think about where you want to be.” -Diana Rankin

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.” -attributed to Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“Arriving at one goal is the starting point to another.” -John Dewey (1859 - 1952)

“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” -Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973)

“If you really want something, and really work hard, and take advantage of opportunities, and never give up, you will find a way.” -Jane Goodall (born 1934)

“Goals. There’s no telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There’s no telling what you can do when you believe in them. There’s no telling what will happen when you act upon them.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“There is only one perfect time to start working towards a goal: right now.” -Byron Pulsifer, website https://www.QuotesChristian.com

We are MFOL! . . . and our goal is to make the internet awe-inspiring . . .

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Hopes and Dreams

3/1/2021

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“Everything begins as a dream.” -Author Unknown

“Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.” -Helen Keller (Helen Adams Keller (1880 - 1968))

“Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945))

“To accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” -Anatole France (pseudonym of Jacques Anatole François Thibault (1844 - 1924)): as quoted in Sidney Greenberg, editor: “Treasury of the Art of Living” (1964)

“Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Do all you can to make your dreams come true.” -Joel Osteen (born 1963)

“HOPE: Hanging Onto Positive Expectations.” -Author Unknown

“If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.” -Flavia Weedn (Flavia Marie Weedn (1929 - 2015)): “Flavia and the Dream Maker” (1998)

“Hope costs nothing.” -Colette (Sidonie Gabrielle Colette (1873 - 1954))

“The hopeful man sees success where others see failure; sunshine where others see shadows and storm.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Hope has two beautiful daughters, named Anger and Courage; Anger at the way things are, and Courage to change them.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430))

“Dreams come a size too big so you can grow into them.” -Author Unknown

“In all things it is better to hope than to despair.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Hold on to your dreams, for they are, in a sense, the stuff of which reality is made. It is through our dreams that we maintain the possibility of a better, more meaningful life.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

“The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope.” -Barbara Kingsolver (born 1955)

“No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t lose hope. When the Sun goes down, the stars come out.” -Author Unknown

“What steps could you take right now to begin turning your dreams into realities?” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.” -Dale E. Turner (Dale Emerson Turner (1917 - 2006)), website https://www.reverenddaleturner.org/

“While there’s life, there’s hope.” -Terence (Publius Terentius Afer (185 B.C.E. - 159 B.C.E.)): “Heuton timoroumenos,” line 981

“Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.” -John Updike (John Hoyer Updike (1932 - 2009))

“Hope doesn’t require a massive chain where heavy links of logic hold it together. A thin wire will do . . . just strong enough to get us through the night until the winds die down.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“Set out each day believing in your dreams. Know without a doubt that you were made for amazing things.” -Josh Hinds (Josh Stephen Hinds (born 1973))

“Hope, like the gleaming taper’s light,
Adorns and cheers our way;
And still, as darker grows the night,
Emits a brighter ray.”
-Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774): “The Captivity” (1764), Act II

“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.” -Christopher Reeve (Christopher D’Olier Reeve (1952 - 2004))

“Hope is necessary in every condition. The miseries of poverty, of sickness, or captivity, would, without this comfort, be insupportable; nor does it appear that the happiest lot of terrestrial existence can set us above the want of this general blessing; or that life, when the gifts of nature and of fortune are accumulated upon it, would not still be wretched, were it not elevated and delighted by the expectation of some new possession, of some enjoyment yet behind, by which the wish shall at last be satisfied, and the heart filled up to its utmost extent.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (1750 - 1752), number 67

“Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall at last unveil.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“When the world says, ‘Give up,’ Hope whispers, ‘Try one more time.’” -Author Unknown

“We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.” -Jesse Owens (1913 - 1980)

“Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.” -Leo J. Suenens (Leo Jozef Suenens (1904 - 1996))

“At the darkest moment comes the light.” -Joseph Campbell (1904 - 1987)

“Dreams are necessary to life.” -Anaïs Nin (born Angela Anaïs Juana Antolina Rosa Edelmira Nin y Culmell (1903 - 1977))

“Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.” -Thornton Wilder (Thornton Niven Wilder (1897 - 1975))

“Dreams are the seedlings of realities.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.” -Thích Nhất Hanh (born 1926 as Nguyễn Xuân Bảo)

“It may be that those who do most, dream most.” -Stephen Butler Leacock (1869 - 1944)

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work; you don’t give up.” -Anne ‘Annie’ Lamott (born 1954)

“Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second. Give your dreams all you’ve got and you’ll marvel at the energy that comes out of you.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“Hope is a vigorous principle; it is furnished with light and heat to advise and execute; it sets the head and heart to work, and animates a man to do his utmost. And thus, by perpetually pushing and assurance, it puts a difficulty out of countenance, and makes a seeming impossibility give way.” -Jeremy Collier (1650 - 1726)

“I have had dreams and I have had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.” -Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995)

“The path to a dream is paved with sacrifices and lined with determination. And although it has many stumbling blocks along the way and may go in more than one direction, it is marked with faith. It is traveled by belief in you and others but requires courage, persistence, and hard work. It is conquered with a willingness to face challenges and take chances, to fail and try again and again. Along the way, you may have to confront doubts, setbacks, and unfairness. But when the path comes to an end, you will find that there is no greater joy than making your dream come true.” -Author Unknown

“Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (Harriett Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940))

“It is good to dream, but it is better to dream and work. Faith is mighty, but action with faith is mightier. Desiring is helpful, but work and desire are invincible.” -Thomas Robert Gaines (1877 - 1965)

“Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive. If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even where confidence is wounded, trust impaired.” -Erik Erikson (1902 - 1994)

“The only thing that stands in between you and your dreams is the will to try and the belief that it is actually possible.” -Joel Brown at https://www.iamjoelbrown.com/

“There is always hope.” -Author Unknown

“Miracles start to happen when you give as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears.” -Richard Wilkins (Richard Stephen Wilkins (born 1954))

“A pocket full of hope is worthless if spent in all the wrong places on all the wrong people.” -S. L. Heaton (Shirley Heaton)

“Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“The hopes of men have been justly called waking dreams.” -Basil (C.E. 330 - C.E. 379): letter to Gregory of Nazianzus: as quoted in S. Baring-Gould (Sabine Baring-Gould (1834 - 1924)): “The Lives of the Saints” (1873)

“The capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. It provides human beings with a sense of destination and the energy to get started.” -Norman Cousins (1915 - 1990)

“Of all the people I have ever known, those who have pursued their dreams and failed have lived a much more fulfilling life than those who have put their dreams on a shelf for fear of failure.” -Author Unknown

“Hope is like the Sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“At every crossroad, follow your dream. It is courageous to let your heart lead the way.” -Thomas Leland (1722 - 1785)

“Never stop believing in hope because miracles happen every day.” -Author Unknown

“Dreams don’t work unless you do.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“Hope is as cheap as Despair.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2542

“Dreams can come true if you take the time to think about what you want in life.” -Author Unknown

“Practice hope. As hopefulness becomes a habit, you can achieve a permanently happy spirit.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“When you have a dream, you’ve got to grab it and never let go.” -Carol Burnett (Carol Creighton Burnett (born 1933))

“My hopes are not always realized, but I always hope.” -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18))

“Every moment is another chance to make your dreams come true.” -Author Unknown

“False hope is better than no hope at all.” -Lois Greiman (Lois Denise Greiman (born 1959))

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.” -J. K. Rowling (Joanne Kathleen ‘Jo’ Rowling (born 1965)): “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” (1997)

“If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.” -Clement of Alexandria (also known as Titus Flavius Clemens (about C.E. 150 - about C.E. 215))

“Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away.” -Tom Clancy (Thomas Leo Clancy, Junior (1947 - 2013))

“Where there is no hope, there can be no endeavor.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (6 April 1751) journal

“All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“The real people of genius were resolute workers, not idle dreamers.” -George Henry Lewes (1817 - 1878)

“For hope is but the dream of those that wake.” -Matthew Prior (1664 - 1721): “Solomon on the Vanity of the World,” book iii, line 102

“All men of action are dreamers.” -James G. Huneker (James Gibbons Huneker (1860 - 1921))

“Trust your hopes, not your fears.” -David Mahoney (David Joseph Mahoney, Junior (1923 - 2000))

“Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.” -Author Unknown

“Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” -Gloria Steinem (born 1934)

“People too weak to follow their own dreams typically tend to find a way to discourage yours.” -Author Unknown

“Hope never abandons you; you abandon it.” -George Weinberg (1929 - 2017)

“All our dreams can come true - if we have the courage to pursue them.” -Walt Disney (Walter Elias ‘Walt’ Disney (1901 - 1966)): as quoted in Pat Williams: “How to Be Like Walt: Capturing the Magic Every Day of Your Life” (2004), Chapter 3, ‘Imagination Unlimited,’ page 63

“Always chase your dreams instead of running from your fears.” -Author Unknown

“If it were not for Hopes, the Heart would break.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2689

“Nothing happens unless first a dream.” -Carl Sandburg (Carl Augustus Sandburg (1878 - 1967))

“Everything that is done in the world is done by the hopeful. No matter your age. No matter your circumstances. No matter your financial wealth. Without hope, nothing is possible. But with hope . . . well . . . watch out.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Your dreams tell you what to do; your reason tells you how to do it.” -Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995)

“Hope is itself a species of happiness, and, perhaps, the chief happiness which this world affords.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832): “Faust,” lines 214 and 215, as translated by John Anster (1835)

“In both children and adults, there can be a hard-to-deny link between a robust sense of hope and either work productivity or academic achievement.” -Jeffrey Kluger (born 1954)

“Great Hopes make great Men.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 1759

“Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.” -attributed to Coco Chanel (Gabrielle Bonheur ‘Coco’ Chanel (1883 - 1971))

“There is nothing like a dream to create the future.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.” -Christopher Reeve (Christopher D’Olier Reeve (1952 - 2004))

We are MFOL! . . . and our fondest Hopes and Dreams are that you will visit us often . . . as you make your way toward all the good that life has in store for you . . .

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Scarecrows

2/23/2021

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The Scarecrow

Scarecrow standing in the field
     On a bright and sunny day,
Don’t forget to do your job -
     Scare the hungry crows away!

by Author Unknown

Whitney: Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Whitley: He was simply out standing in his field!

Scarecrows

We’re the farmer’s scarecrows
     We scare away the birds,
We keep the farmer’s corn safe
     Without any words;
But when Hallowe’en comes
     We jump out of the ground
And we scare the boys and girls
     When they come walking ’round.
Boo!

by Author Unknown: can be sung to the same tune as that of “Sing a Song of Sixpence”

Apparently, scarecrows are effective at scaring not only birds, but people as well, which may be why they frequently feature in Halloween decorations and scary movies.

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The Scarecrow

The farmer made a scarecrow
     And stuffed it full of straw.
He put it in the cornfield,
     but the crows laughed, “Haw-caw.”

One crow sat on Scarecrow’s hat.
     He was not scared at all.
That scarecrow did not scare
     A single crow away all Fall!

by Author Unknown

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Scarecrow: Guardian of the Garden.

Hey, wait a second . . . that scarecrow appears to be a crow . . .

Question: What was the Scarecrow character in the movie, “The Wizard of Oz” (1939) seeking?
Answer: The Scarecrow in the “Wizard of Oz” wanted the Wizard to give him a brain.

Scarecrow Joel

There once was a scarecrow name Joel
Who couldn’t scare crows, save his soel.
But the crows put the scare
Into Joel. He’s not there
Any more. That’s his hat on the poel.

by David McCord (David Thompson Watson McCord (1897 - 1997))

Different ways exist to make a scarecrow. A typical scarecrow with a human shape can be made by sticking a pole in the ground in a farm field or garden. A shorter cross-stick is attached to it and becomes the arms. Alternatively, a dummy can be made from stuffing old clothes with straw. A head can be made by stuffing an old burlap sack or pillowcase with straw, and then attaching a hat. A scarecrow scares away crows and other birds that eat crops. Also effective as an alternative to a scarecrow is a shiny metal pie tin or pan hung from a rope tied between two poles or to a fence; a slight breeze will cause it to move, attracting the eyes of birds and causing them to take flight.

Owl figures scare away pigeons, making them almost like the city cousins of the countryside scarecrows.

Scarecrow: Cop of the cornfield.

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The Scarecrow

Five fat blackbirds,
     Sitting in the straw.
Laughing at the scarecrow,
     Caw! Caw! Caw!

Five fat blackbirds,
     Eating all the corn.
Silly old birds,
     It’s going to storm.

Poor sad scarecrow,
     Sitting on a fence.
“Boo!” yelled the scarecrow,
     Away they went!

by Author Unknown

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“Scarecrow: One who takes as a compliment the words, ‘You’re scary.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

The Scarecrow

The scarecrow stands
     With hanging hands,
Beside the farmer’s stile.
     He scares the jay
And crow away.
     With just a painted smile.

by Author Unknown

Esther: What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Estelle: A strawberry.

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The Scarecrow

Here is the scarecrow, see him stand
     Upon the newly planted land;
A figure rugged and forlorn,
     A silent watcher of the corn.

His dangling legs, his arms spread wide,
     A lone man of the countryside;
Uncouth, the butt of pen and tongue,
     Unheralded, unsought, unsung

To you, old scarecrow, then this lay
     To cheer you on your lonely way;
Would that all men, their whole lives through,
     Served some good purpose same as you.

by Annie Stone

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Say this tongue twister three times fast: Seth said some serious scarecrows scare crows silly.

Further fantastically fascinating frivolity follows . . . on MFOL!

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The Future and Predictions

2/16/2021

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People who have looked into the future say that while we might think it would be exciting, it is actually pretty boring, because in the future, many problems have been solved, and very few new problems have been found to take their place - how will humankind possibly be happy with fewer problems to solve?

What Lies Ahead?

I wish, I wish that I could know
     The places I have yet to go,
The ways I’ll change, the things I’ll do,
     The special dreams I’ll make come true,
I wish, I wish that I could see
     The life that lies ahead of me.

by Author Unknown

“By the year 1975, people will be shot from city to city across the country in tubes.” -Edward Everett Hale (1822 - 1909) (1899)

Watch Your Step

The future lies before you,
     Like a field of driven snow,
Be careful how you tread it,
     For every step will show.

by Author Unknown

“We must discipline ourselves to convert dreams into plans, and plans into goals, and goals into those small daily activities that will lead us, one sure step at a time, toward a better future.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009)): “Five Major Pieces to the Life Puzzle” (1991)

“A rocket will never be able to leave the Earth’s atmosphere.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in the “New York Times” (1936) newspaper

“Your future is as bright as your faith!” -Thomas S. Monson (Thomas Spencer Monson (1927 - 2018))

“It looks like the future’s really bright.” -Michael P. Anderson (Michael Philip Anderson (1959 - 2003))

“Fooling around with alternating current is just a waste of time. Nobody will use it, ever.” -Thomas Edison (Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931)) (1889)

“By the year 2000, amid general plenty, politics will simply fade away.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983)) (1966)

“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt (Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882 - 1945)): “The Public Papers and Addresses of Franklin D. Roosevelt, 1944 - 1945” (1950), page 616

“To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacriﬁce, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places - and there are so many - where people have behaved magniﬁcently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction. And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an inﬁnite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in deﬁance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.” -Howard Zinn (1922 - 2010): “A Power Governments Cannot Suppress” (1 December 2006), page 270

“In the year 3000, everything will be instant.” -Dane Cook (Dane Jeffrey Cook (born 1972))

“The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.” -Bill Watterson (William Boyd ‘Bill’ Watterson II (born 1958)): “Calvin & Hobbes” (1985) cartoon

“The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C,’ the idea must be feasible.” -Unidentified Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith’s paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service; Fred Smith went on to found the Federal Express Corporation

“The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only more expensive.” -John Sladek (John Thomas Sladek (1937 -2000))

“Nuclear-powered vacuum cleaners will probably be a reality in ten years.” -Alex Lewyt (Alexander M. Lewyt (1908 - 1988)): as quoted in the “New York Times” (1955) newspaper

“The future is not what it used to be.” -Paul Valéry (1871 - 1945)

“The energy produced by the breaking down of the atom is a very poor kind of thing. Anyone who expects a source of power from the transformation of these atoms is talking moonshine.” -Ernest Rutherford (1871 - 1937), shortly after the atom had been split for the first time.

“We have no way of knowing what lays ahead for us in the future. All we can do is use the information at hand to make the best decision possible.” -Christopher ‘Chris’ Walken (born Ronald ‘Ronnie’ Walken (born 1943))

“The world potential market for copying machines is 5,000 at most.” -Author Unknown: statement of International Business Machines (1959), to the eventual founders of Xerox

“The future is not laid out on a track. It is something that we can decide, and to the extent that we do not violate any known laws of the Universe, we can probably make it work the way that we want to.” -Alan Kay (Alan Curtis Kay (born 1940)): in his paper ‘Inventing the Future,’ as published in Patrick Henry Winston and Karen Prendergast, editors: “The AI Business: The Commercial Uses of Artificial Intelligence” (1984)

“The cinema is little more than a fad. It’s canned drama. What audiences really want to see is flesh and blood on the stage.” -Charlie Chaplin (Charles Spencer ‘Charlie’ Chaplin (1889 - 1977)) (1916)

“You create a good future by creating a good present.” -Eckhart Tolle (born Ulrich Leonard Tölle (born 1948))

“Law will be simplified. Lawyers will have diminished, and their fees will have been vastly curtailed.” -Junius Henri Browne (1833 - 1902) (1893), predictions he made for over the next century

“I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.” -William Allen White (1868 - 1944)

“Television won’t last. It’s a flash in the pan.” -Mary Somerville (1897 - 1963) (1948)

“If you take no part in the design of your future, it will be designed for you by others.” -Edward de Bono (born 1933)

We are now living in the future, so where are the flying cars the futurists promised us all those years ago . . . it seems we have no choice but to build them ourselves!

“The future is not in the hands of fate, but in ours.” -Jules Jusserand (Jean Jules Jusserand)

“The future lies hidden in the past, waiting for us to uncover it, quite as surely as history repeats itself.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If I had thought about it, I wouldn’t have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can’t do this.” -Spencer Silver (Spencer Ferguson Silver (born 1941)): on the work that led to the unique adhesive used in 3-M ‘Post-It’ notepads

“The only way to predict the future is to have power to shape the future.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)

“When the Paris Exhibition closes, electric light will close with it and no more will be heard of it.” -Erasmus Wilson (William James Erasmus Wilson (1809 - 1884)) (1878)

“The best way to suppose what may come, is to remember what is past.” -George Savile (1633 - 1695): “Political, Moral, and Miscellaneous Thoughts and Reflections” (1750), ‘Miscellaneous: Experience’

“The idea that cavalry will be replaced by these iron coaches is absurd. It is little short of treasonous.” -Unidentified Aide-de-camp (1916), speaking to Field Marshal Haig at a tank demonstration

“When all else is lost, the future still remains.” -Christian Nestell Bovée (1820 - 1904)

“Cease to inquire what the future has in store, and take as a gift whatever the day brings forth.” -Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)): “Carmina,” book I, number 9, line 13

“X-rays will prove to be a hoax.” -Lord Kelvin (William Thomson (1824 - 1907)) (1883)

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” -Peter F. Drucker (Peter Ferdinand Drucker (1909 - 2005))

“Your future is created by what you do today, not tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“I have seen the future, and it’s like the present, only longer.” -Dan Quisenberry (Daniel Raymond ‘Quiz’ Quisenberry (1953 - 1998))

“The future always holds something for the man who keeps his faith in it.” -H. L. Hollis

“You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all of your muscles? It can’t be done. It’s just a fact of life. You just have to accept inconsistent muscle development as an unalterable condition of weight training.” -Author Unknown: response to Arthur Jones, who solved the ‘unsolvable’ problem by inventing Nautilus

“We could use up all the proven reserves of oil in the entire world by the end of the next decade.” -Jimmy Carter (James Earl Carter, Junior (born 1924)) (18 April 1977), televised speech

“The future is made of the same stuff as the present.” -Simone Weil (Simone Adolphine Weil (1909 - 1943))

“The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to no one in particular?” -Unidentified Associates (1921) of David Sarnoff, responding to his urging for investment in radio

“Coming events cast their shadows before.” -Thomas Campbell (1777 - 1844): “Lochiel’s Warning” (1802), line 56; type of work: poem

“I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won’t last out the year.” -Unidentified Editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall (1957)

“Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.” -Roger Babson (Roger Ward Babson (1875 - 1967))

“Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.” -Irving Fisher: speech (16 October 1929) to the Purchasing Agents Association, 5 days before the stock market crash leading into the Great Depression Era

“The future’s already here - it just isn’t evenly distributed.” -William Gibson (William Ford Gibson (born 1948))

“Fifty years hence automobile traffic will have entirely disappeared from the surface thoroughfares of New York City, and people will be shot through tubes like merchandise.” -Harvey W. Corbett (Harvey Wiley Corbett (1873 - 1954)): as attributed in “The American Institute of Architects” (1925)

“Take therefore no thought for the morrow; for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Matthew,’ chapter 6, verse 34

“To place a man in a multi-stage rocket and project him into the controlling gravitational field of the Moon where the passengers can make scientific observations, perhaps land alive, and then return to Earth - all that constitutes a wild dream worthy of Jules Verne. I am bold enough to say that such a man-made voyage will never occur regardless of all future advances.” -Lee de Forest (born Lee DeForest (1873 - 1961)) (1926)

“The future you shall know when it has come; before then forget it.” -Aeschylus (about 525 B.C.E. - about 456 B.C.E.)

“This ‘telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us.” -Author Unknown: Western Union internal memo (1876)

Your Future Is Up to You

What does your future hold?
     Some things new and some things old,
Some things lead and some things gold.
     All will be determined, it can be foretold,
Whether, as this passing moment does unfold,
     You choose to be timid or decide to be bold.

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“But what . . . is it good for?” -Unidentified Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of International Business Machines (1968), commenting on the microchip

“The trouble with the future is that it usually arrives before we are ready for it.” -Arnold H. Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.” -Ken Olson (1977), president, chairman, and founder of Digital Equipment Corporation, maker of mainframe computers, arguing against the personal computer

“Our futures are formed by the thoughts we hold most often.” -Wayne Dyer (Wayne Walter Dyer (born 1940))

“The future is green and low tech. We’ll watch aquariums, not TVs.” -A. Pavletich

“The first step towards creating an improved future is developing the ability to envision it. Man can only receive what he sees himself receiving.” -Florence Scovel Shinn

“The future has a habit of suddenly and dramatically becoming the present.” -Roger Babson (Roger Ward Babson (1875 - 1967))

“There is practically no chance communications space satellites will be used to provide better telephone, telegraph, television, or radio service inside the United States.” -T. Craven (Tunis Augustus Macdonough Craven, also known as T. A. M. Craven (1893 - 1972)) (1961); the first commercial communications satellite went into service in 1965

“The future will soon be a thing of the past.” -George Carlin (George Denis Patrick Carlin (1937 - 2008)): “Napalm and Silly Putty” (2001), page 260

“Men might as well project a voyage to the Moon as attempt to employ steam navigation against the stormy North Atlantic Ocean.” -Dionysius Lardner (1793 - 1859)

“The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.” -Mike Murdock (Michael Dean ‘Mike’ Murdock (born 1946))

“Do your duty and a little more and the future will take care of itself.” -Andrew Carnegie (1835 - 1919)

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor ‘Eleanor’ Roosevelt (1884 - 1962)): as quoted in Leonard C. Schlup and Donald W. Whisenhunt: “It Seems to Me: Selected Letters of Eleanor Roosevelt” (2001), page 2

“Your future depends on many things, but mostly you.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

This is MFOL! . . . and here comes the future . . . wow, it sure is moving fast . . . it just flew right by us . . . and now it is the gone into the past . . . wait, here it comes again . . . see if you can grab onto it this time!

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Choices and Decisions

2/10/2021

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“You are only one decision away from a totally different life.” -Author Unknown

“You are the possessor of a great and wonderful power. This power, when properly applied, will bring confidence instead of timidity, calmness instead of confusion, poise instead of restlessness, and peace of mind in place of heartache. What is your greatest power? The power to choose.” -J. Martin Kohe (Jack Martin Kohe (1902 - 1960)): “Your Greatest Power” (1953)

“We are our choices.” -Jean-Paul Sartre (Jean-Paul Charles Aymard Sartre (1905 - 1980))

“Sir, what is the secret of your success?” a reporter asked a bank president. “Two words.” “And, sir, what are they?” “Right decisions.” “And how do you make right decisions?” “One word.” “And, sir, what is that?” “Experience.” “And how do you get experience?” “Two words.” “And, sir, what are they?” “Wrong decisions.”

“There are always two choices, two paths to take. One is easy . . . and its only reward is that it’s easy.” -Author Unknown

When faced with a decision, decide.
When faced with a choice, choose.
Sitting on the fence will leave you too tense,
Because you neither win nor lose!
-Barry Spilchuk

“We are living in a time when the best of things are on the Earth . . . and the worst of things. Are we taking advantage of the best of things . . . and staying away from the worst of things?” -Author Unknown

“You can never successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.” -Author Unknown

“Our lives are, in reality, the sum total of our seemingly unimportant decisions and of our capacity to live by those decisions.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” -J. K. Rowling (Joanne ‘Jo’ Rowling (born 1965)): “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” (1998); line spoken by fictional character Professor Dumbledore

“Daily decisions determine destiny.” -Author Unknown

“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)): “The Innocents Abroad” (1869)

“We are a product of the choices we make, not the circumstances that we face.” -Roger Crawford

“Between two evils, choose neither; between two goods, choose both.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 68

“Doing isn’t difficult. Deciding is.” -Foster Hibbard

“The most important choice we make is what we choose to make important.” -Michael Neill

“Life is the sum of all your choices.” -Albert Camus (1913 - 1960)

“In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing to do. The worst thing you can do is nothing.” -Theodore Roosevelt (Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919))

“We make our choices, then our choices make us. Choose carefully.” -Author Unknown

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” -Denis Waitley (born 1933)

“Your life becomes the thing you have decided it shall be.” -Raymond Charles Barker

Does it scare you when someone says to you, “It’s your decision.”?

“Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to require the most from you.” -Caroline Myss (born 1952)

“Make your judgement trustworthy by trusting it. You can develop good judgement as you do the muscles of your body - by judicious, daily exercise. To be known as a man of sound judgement will be much in your favor.” -Grantland Rice (Henry Grantland ‘Grantland’ Rice (1880 - 1954))

“When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that in itself is a choice.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“Don’t base your decisions on the advice of people who don’t have to deal with the result.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: It is terrible to be indecisive. I feel like a centipede that has just been told to put its best foot forward.

Now let us consider the pros and cons of making a Pros and Cons Chart . . .

One way to weigh your difficult decisions is to make a decision chart, in which you list the good points under the word ‘Pros’ meaning ‘In Favor Of’ and bad points under the word ‘Cons’ meaning ‘Against.’

Matthew: Yippee, I get to make a decision! Yahoo! I finally get to decide something!
Martha: Yes . . . so would you like liver and onions or cauliflower and tripe for dinner?

“There is but bad choice, where the whole stock is bad.” -Author Unknown

“It is better to make a wrong decision than build up a habit of indecision. If you’re wallowing in indecision, you certainty can’t act - and action is the basis of success.” -Marie Beynon Ray (1886 - 1969)

“Choices are the hinges of destiny.” -Pythagoras (about 570 B.C.E. - about 495 B.C.E.)

“Almost any decision is better than no decision at all.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Dwelling on past bad decisions you’ve made only allows those decisions to keep defining you. Forgive yourself and move on.” -Mandy Hale (born 1978)

“Sometimes walking away is the best decision.” -Kimberley Blaine

Decidophobia is a fear of making decisions. Perhaps one approach to overcoming the fear would be to start out with making small or minor decisions. Decide which decisions are small.

“It is choice and not chance which determines our destiny.” -Author Unknown

“The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides.” -Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821 - 1881)

“It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires great strength to decide what to do.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

Overheard: I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not even sure about that.

“Can you not see that to decide to do nothing is the most wretched of all decisions?” -Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885)

“Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want a different result, make a different choice.” -Author Unknown

“When faced with two equally tough choices, most people choose the third choice: to not choose.” -Jarod Kintz (born 1982): “This Book Title is Invisible”

“It is not so much the major events as the small day-to-day decisions that map the course of our living.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Your life is a result of the choices you make . . . If you do not like your life, it is time to start making better choices.” -Author Unknown

“My basic principle is that you don’t make decisions because they are easy; you don’t make them because they are cheap; you don’t make them because they’re popular; you make them because they’re right.” -Theodore Hesburgh (Theodore Martin Hesburgh (born 1917))

“Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.” -Author Unknown

“There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision.” -William James (1842 - 1910): “The Principles of Psychology” (1890), Chapter 4

“Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.” -Robert F. Bennett

“It’s not hard to make decisions once you know what your values are.” -Roy E. Disney (Roy Edward Disney (1930 - 2009))

“Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left? Five, because there’s a difference between deciding and doing.” -Mark L. Feldman & Michael F. Spratt: “Five Frogs on a Log” (1999)

“We cannot lead a choiceless life. Every day, every moment, every second, there is a choice.” -Ernest Holmes (Ernest Shurtleff Holmes (1887 - 1960))

“Decisiveness is a characteristic of high-performing men and women.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Scan. Select. Move on.” -Author Unknown

What should you do when you come to a fork in a road, and have to decide which of the two roads to take? A wise person once said, “When you come to a giant fork in a road, hey, take it, because further ahead, there might be a giant slice of blueberry pie.” Wait . . . that doesn’t make any sense . . .

“There’s an alternative. There’s always a third way, and it’s not a combination of the other two ways - it’s a different way.” -David Carradine (born John Arthur Carradine (1936 - 2009))

“You make what seems a simple choice: choose a spouse or a job or a neighborhood - and what you have chosen is not a spouse or a job or a neighborhood but a life.” -Jessamyn West

“Weigh well what you can only once decide.” -Author Unknown

“You’ve got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you’re not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice.” -Steven D. Woodhull (born 1976)

“Nothing is so exhausting as indecision, and nothing is so futile.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970)): “The Conquest of Happiness” (1930)

“Indecisiveness is the key to flexibility.” -Author Unknown

“Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.” -Rita Mae Brown (born 1944)

“Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” -Stephen Covey (Stephen Richards Covey (1932 - 2012))

“Make choices today you can live with tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.” -Elizabeth Kübler-Ross (1926 - 2004)

“We almost always have choices, and the better the choice, the more we will be in control of our lives.” -William Glasser (1925 - 2013)

“Some decisions in life are difficult, like when you are asked if you will trade your truck-load of bananas for a car-load of monkeys.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.” -Keri Russell

“Remember this, the choices you make in life, make you.” -John Wooden (1910 - 2010)

This is MFOL! . . . perhaps the easiest decision you will make today . . . or maybe just the best . . . you get to decide . . .

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Rhyming Riddles

2/6/2021

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Riddle:
You’ll see me when the Sun is high and also late at night,
I’m in the songs of holidays, when the snow is white,
Kings and Queens and royalty, are all found in me,
I’m the largest of them all, with just one you see,
Step by step with pounding feet, I’m tribes of angry men,
I’m above your hands right now, for help or to go again,
You’ll use me in the kitchen, or add a little more,
I’ll be in the years to come, and the days of yore.
What am I?
Answer:
I am the number twelve.

Riddle: What is hot and yellow, and rhymes with fun?
Answer: The Sun.

Riddle:
Sometimes curly,
Sometimes flat,
I’m over your head
And under your hat -
What am I?
Answer:
I am your hair.

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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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Said the Little Dog to the Tree

“Now, why,” remarked the little dog,
    in speaking to the tree,
“Could one say that the heart of you
    is like the tail of me?”

The tree gave the conundrum up.
    The pup, with wisdom stark,
Explained the matter, saying,
    “It is farthest from the bark.”

by Author Unknown

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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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Riddle:
Each morning I appear,
To lie at your feet,
All day I follow,
No matter how fast you run,
Yet I nearly perish
In the midday sun.
What am I?
Answer:
I am your shadow.

Riddle: What is a plaything for a girl or a boy?
Answer: A toy.

Riddle:
Never resting, never still.
Moving silently from hill to hill.
I do not walk, run, or trot.
All is cool where I am not.
What am I?
Answer:
I am sunlight.

Riddle:
Can you decipher the following?
Yy u r, yy u b
I c u r yy 4 me!
Answer:
Too wise you are, too wise you be,
I see you are too wise for me!

Riddle: What is sweet to eat and rhymes with dandy?
Answer: Candy.

Riddle:
There’s not a kingdom on the Earth,
But I have traveled over and over,
And though I know not whence my birth,
Yet when I come, you know my roar.
I through the town do take my flight,
And through the fields and meadows green,
And whether it be day or night,
I neither am nor can be seen.
Who am I?
I am the wind.

Riddle:
Twelve pairs hanging high,
     Twelve knights riding by,
Each knight took a pear,
     And yet left a dozen there.
Let us consider this mystery,
     How could this ever be?
Answer:
We are twelve pairs of pears.

Riddle: What goes in an envelope and rhymes with better?
Answer: A letter.

Riddle:
Until I am measured
I am not known,
Yet how you miss me
When I have flown.
What am I?
Answer:
I am time.

Riddle:
I am seen in the water
If seen in the sky,
I am in the rainbow,
A jay’s feather,
And lapis lazuli.
What am I?
Answer:
I am the color blue.

Riddle: What did your grandfather use to buy a gumball when he was a boy that rhymes with Jenny?
Answer: A penny.

Riddle:
Lovely and round
I shine with pale light,
Grown in the darkness,
A lady’s delight.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a pearl.

Riddle:
I am only useful
When I am full.
Yet, I am always
Full of holes.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a sieve.

Riddle: What helps us count and rhymes with seven?
Answer: The number eleven.

Riddle:
Glittering points
That downward thrust,
Sparking spears
That never rust.
What am I?
Answer:
I am an icicle.

Riddle:
Great deeds with little strength I do,
I close the open, open the closed, for you.
I keep the master’s house, the master keeps me, too.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a key.

Riddle: What is something you dig where the sea meets the land?
Answer: Sand.

Riddle:
I live in the oceans, the rivers, and seas;
When I’m cold I float -
When I’m hot, I’m free.
What am I?
Answer:
I am water.

Riddle:
I hear a lot
And I say a lot
Few ever look for me
And even fewer ever hear me
I hide in plain sight
Whether it’s day or night
To help is all I want
But most like to bend me
And as if they had a wand
Never again shall anyone find me
They do this to control
Without realizing the high price of a soul
But when I’m least expected
They’d rather be protected
For there shall be no place to hide
What am I?
Answer:
I am the truth.

Riddle: What helps us breath and rhymes with rose?
Answer: Nose.

Riddle:
There was a girl in our town,
Silk an’ satin was her gown,
Silk an’ satin, gold an’ velvet,
Guess her name, three times I’ve telled it.
What is it?
Answer:
Ann is her name.

Riddle:
I sing when I’m struck
Or whenever they shake me.
By mold and cast,
The craftsmen make me.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a bell.

Riddle:
Little Nanny Etticoat,
In a white petticoat,
And a red nose;
The longer she stands,
The shorter she grows.
What is she?
Answer:
She is a candle.

Riddle:
Old Mother Twitchett had but one eye,
And a long tail which she let fly;
And every time she went over a gap,
She left a bit of her tail in a trap.
What is she?
Answer:
She is a needle and thread.

Riddle:
A word I know
That six letters contains,
Subtract the last
And only twelve remains.
What is it?
Answer:
The word is dozens.

Riddle:
I like trees,
And I loathe bees.
I sleep all day,
And I’m misty and gray.
I have mossy hair,
but I can still be a scare -
What am I?
Answer:
I am a bat.

Riddle:
As I was going to Saint Ives,
I met a man with seven wives,
Every wife had seven sacks,
Every sack had seven cats,
Every cat had seven kittens -
Kittens, cats, sacks, and wives,
How many were going to Saint Ives?
Answer:
Only I was going to Saint Ives.

Riddle:
I am a word of letters three;
Add two,
And even fewer there will be.
Who am I?
Answer:
I am the word few, becoming ‘fewer’ with two letters added.

Riddle:
In marble walls as white as milk,
Lined with a skin as soft as silk,
Within a fountain crystal clear,
A golden apple doth appear,
No doors there are to this stronghold,
Yet thieves break in and steal the gold.
What am I?
Answer:
I am an egg.

Riddle:
I am in the church,
But not in the steeple.
I am in the parson,
But not in the people.
What am I?
Answer:
I am the letter ‘r.’

Riddle:
I run all day and I never walk,
I have a big mouth, but never talk.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a river.

Riddle:
A mystery in a question,
A rhythmic rhyming bit of fun,
An enigma in search of reason -
Now for a moment or a season,
May you your mind fearlessly fathom
To all depths, widths, and heights,
Wherein therein lies my solution -
Who am I?
Answer:
I am a nearly-rhyming nonsense riddle.
by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Riddle:
Up, up, up,
Higher than a house,
Higher than a tree.
Twinkling bright,
Oh! whatever can I be?
Answer:
I am a star.

Riddle:
I come in different styles,
I can walk with you for miles,
I come in a pair,
I’m something that you wear,
With heels I am glam -
Can you guess what I am?
Answer:
I am shoes.

Riddle:
In the warm months I wear green,
Both in the day and at night;
As it cools I shed yellow,
But during winter I wear white.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a tree.

Riddle:
You heard me before,
Yet you hear me again,
Then I fade,
Until you call me again
What am I?
Answer:
I am an echo.

Riddle:
A brightly colored winged-thing,
I flit and flutter all about;
Two antennae, two eyes,
And six little legs have I.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a butterfly.

This is MFOL! . . . your rainbow on a rainy day . . .

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Failures and Successes

2/2/2021

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Violet: May I ask you the secret of your success?
Iris: There is no easy street. You simply jump at your opportunity.
Violet: But how can I tell when my opportunity comes?
Iris: You can’t. You’ve just got to keep on jumping.

“There is no point at which you can say, ‘Well, I’m successful now, I might as well take a nap.’” -Carrie Fisher (born 1956)

“In public, we say the race is to the strongest; in private, we know that a lopsided man runs the fastest along the little side hills of success.” -Frank M. Colby (Frank Moore Colby (1865 - 1925))

“I am not a failure if I don’t succeed; I am successful because I tried.” -Susan Jeffers (1938 - 2012))

“You never become a howling success by just howling.” -Bob Harrington (1950 - 1992)

“The secret of success is to triple your rate of failure.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“How can they say my life isn’t a success? Have I not for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?” -Logan Pearsall Smith (1865 - 1946)

“Success is not about ‘who you know,’ but rather ‘who knows you.’” -Author Unknown

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try a grin!” -Author Unknown

“You are the only person who can really label what you do as a success or a failure.” -Author Unknown

“Failures and setbacks are ingredients for a great success story.” -Author Unknown

“Successful and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities. They vary in their desires to reach their potential.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

Judgement

Before God’s footstool to confess
     A poor soul knelt, and bowed his head;
“I failed,” he cried. The Master said,
     “Thou didst thy best - that is success!”

by Author Unknown

“Drifting through life without aim or purpose is the first cause of failure.” -Author Unknown

“I owe all my success in life to having been always a quarter of an hour beforehand.” -Horatio Nelson (1758 - 1805)

“Success is difficult, it requires enormous effort. Those who can work through the struggle become successful.” -Jackie Joyner (Jacqueline Joyner-Kersee (born 1962))

“Success and failure. We think of them as opposites, but they’re really not. They’re companions - the hero and the sidekick.” -Laurence Shames (born 1951)

“If at first you don’t succeed, you’re running about average.” -M. H. Alderson (Miles Henry Alderson (1841 - 1924))

“You have to look successful in order to be successful.” -Author Unknown

If I should win, let it be by the code,
     With my faith and my honor held high,
But if I should lose, let me be the first to stand by the road,
     And cheer as the winner walks by.
-Sam Haskell: “Promises I Made My Mother” (April 2009), autobiography

“What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?” -Robert Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“Success: All it takes is all you’ve got.” -Author Unknown

“Notice the difference between what happens when a man says to himself, ‘I have failed three times,’ and what happens when he says, ‘I am a failure.’” -S. I. Hayakawa (Samuel Ichiye Hayakawa (1906 - 1992))

“Success means doing the best we can with what we have. Success is the doing, not the getting - in the trying, not the triumph. Success is a personal standard - reaching for the highest that is in us - becoming all that we can be. If we do our best, we are a success. Success is the maximum utilization of the ability that you have.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012)): as quoted in Hugh B. Sanders: “The Subconscious Diet: It’s Not What You Put in Your Mouth; It Is What You Put in Your Mind” (2005), page 104

“Success comes to many men because they were deprived of advantages others had.” -Author Unknown

“Supposing you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” -Mary Pickford (born Gladys Louise Smith, also known as Gladys Marie Pickford (1893 - 1979)): as quoted in Carolyn Warner: “The Last Word - A Treasury of Women’s Quotes” (1992)

“Failure is the path of least persistence.” -Author Unknown

“The next best thing to winning is losing! At least you’ve been in the race.” -Nellie Hershey Tullis (Nellie Helen Hershey Tullis (1872 - 1964))

“Keep steadily before you the fact that all true success depends at last upon yourself.” -Theodore T. Munger (Theodore Thornton Munger (1830 - 1910)): as quoted in Elizabeth P. Bemis: “Primary Plans” (1909), Volume 7, page 54

“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“The common denominator of success - the secret of success of every man who has ever been successful - lies in the fact that he formed the habit of doing things that failures don’t like to do.” -Albert E. N. Gray: speech (1940) in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States of America, at the annual convention of the National Association of Life Underwriters

“Achieve success in any area of life by identifying the optimum strategies and repeating them until they become habits.” -Charles J. Givens (Charles J. ‘Chuck’ Givens (1941 - 1998))

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.” -Lloyd Jones (born 1955): “Mister Pip” (2006) novel

“Ninety-nine percent of success is built on failure.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying the basic fundamentals.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Failure is the first step towards success.” -Author Unknown

“If at first you do succeed, try something harder.” -Ann Landers (Esther Pauline Friedman Lederer (1918 - 2002))

“Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day, while failure is simply a few errors in judgement, repeated every day. It is the accumulative weight of our disciplines and our judgements that leads us to either fortune or failure.” -Author Unknown

“Failures are the stepping stones by which we reach success.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“The secret to success is to start from scratch and keep on scratching.” -Dennis Green

“The common idea that success spoils people by making them vain, egotistic, and self-complacent is erroneous; on the contrary it makes them, for the most part, humble, tolerant, and kind. Failure makes people bitter and cruel.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)): “The Summing Up” (1938), page 182

“You always pass failure on the way to success.” -Mickey Rooney (born Joseph Yule, Junior (1920 - 2014))

“The most unfortunate thing that happens to a person who fears failure is that he limits himself by becoming afraid to try anything new.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

“One fails forward toward success.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“An Unfailing Success Plan: At each day’s end write down the six most important things to do tomorrow; number them in order of importance, and then do them.” -Author Unknown

“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently.” -Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)

“Ask yourself the secret of your success. Listen to your answer, and practice it.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“Failure lies not in falling down but rather in not getting up.” -Author Unknown

“For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Book of Proverbs,’ chapter 24, verse 16

“Failure . . . failure . . . failure . . . failure . . . failure . . . failure . . . failure . . . SUCCESS!!!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall.” -Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774)

“Failure? I never encountered it. All I ever met were temporary setbacks.” -Dottie Walters

“Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.” -William A. Feather (William Arthur Feather (1889 - 1981))

“The Lord would want you to be successful. He would. You are His sons and His daughters. He has the same kind of love and ambition for you that your earthly parents have. They want you to do well and you can do it.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Failure is an event, never a person.” -William D. Brown (William David Brown (born 1936)): “Welcome Stress!” (1983)

“The most successful people are not necessarily the most popular.” -Author Unknown

“There is only one success . . . to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)): “Where the Blue Begins” (1922)

“Failure is success if we learn from it.” -Malcolm S. Forbes (Malcolm Stevenson Forbes (1919 - 1990))

“If you could find out what the most successful people did in any area and then you did the same thing over and over, you’d eventually get the same results they do.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“He who has never failed somewhere, that man cannot be great.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)

“Success consists of doing the common things of life uncommonly well.” -Author Unknown

“If the usual way to achieve success is by first making mistakes, then it would be a mistake not to go ahead and make some mistakes.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I couldn’t wait for success . . . so I went ahead without it.” -Jonathan Winters (Jonathan Harshman Winters III (1925 - 2013))

“It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Behind every success is a succession of failures.” -Rick Beneteau

“I can give you a six-word formula for success: ‘Think things through - then follow through.’” -Eddie Rickenbacker (1890 - 1973)

“Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.” -Joyce Brothers (Joyce Diane Brothers (1927 - 2013))

“Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” -Louis E. Boone (Louis Eugene Boone (1941 - 2005))

“If you fail, never give up, because FAIL means First Attempt In Learning. End is not the end. END means Effort Never Dies. If you get no as an answer, remember NO means Next Opportunity. Positive thinking!” -Author Unknown

“Some succeed because they are destined to, but most succeed because they are determined to.” -Author Unknown

“Behind every successful man there are a lot of unsuccessful years.” -Bob Brown

“A failure is not always a mistake; it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.” -B. F. Skinner (Burrhus Frederic Skinner (1904 - 1990))

“Success is waking up in the morning, whoever you are, wherever you are, however old or young, and bounding out of bed because there’s something out there you love to do, that you believe in, that you’re good at - something that’s bigger than you are, and you can hardly wait to get at it again today.” -Whit Hobbs

“It is infinitely more exciting to live a life of catastrophic failures than a life of could-haves, should-haves, and would-haves.” -M. H. Meng (Moh Hon Meng)

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“Success is dependent on effort.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“Success isn’t how far you get, but the distance you travel from where you start.” -Author Unknown

“You are successful the moment you start moving toward a worthwhile goal.” -Chester Floyd Carlson (1906 - 1968)

This is MFOL! . . . made from ridiculously awesome . . .

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Competitions and Contests

1/29/2021

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“Your toughest competition in life is anyone who is willing to work harder than you.” -Casey Coleman

“Put yourself in competition with yourself each day. Each morning look back upon your work of yesterday and then try to beat it.” -Charles Sheldon (Charles Monroe Sheldon (1857 - 1946))

“It is the contest that delights us, not the victory.” -Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

“You don’t have to be a fantastic hero to do certain things - to compete. You can be just an ordinary chap, sufficiently motivated to reach challenging goals. The intense effort, the giving of everything you’ve got, is a very pleasant bonus.” -Edmund Hillary (Edmund Percival Hillary (1919 - 2008))

“Winning doesn’t always mean being first. Winning means you’re doing better than you’ve ever done before.” -Bonnie Blair

“Accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory.” -George S. Patton (George Smith Patton, Junior (1885 - 1945))

Riddle: What makes Ford a better car?
Solution: Chrysler.

“The race is long but in the end it is only with yourself.” -Author Unknown: “Everybody’s Free” (song)

Girl: What did you get the little trophy for?
Boy: For singing.
Girl: What did you get the big trophy for?
Boy: For stopping!

“The only competition you will ever have is the competition between your disciplined and undisciplined mind.” -James A. Ray

“Rarely have I seen a situation where doing less than the other guy is a good strategy.” -Jimmy Spithill

“Life is a competition, not with others, but with ourselves. We should seek each day to live stronger, better, truer lives; each day to master some weakness of yesterday; each day to repair a mistake; each day to surpass ourselves.” -David B. Haight

“Two sketch artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.” -Author Unknown

“The only competition worthy a wise man is with himself.” -Anna Brownell Jameson (1794 - 1860)

“He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797): “Reflections on the Revolution in France,” page 453

“The problem with keeping up with the Jones is that it creates a world full of Jones.” -Julian Barton

“All strategy depends on competition.” -Bruce D. Henderson

“Life is a competition, not with others, but with ourselves. We should seek each day to live stronger, better, truer lives; each day to master some weakness of yesterday; each day to repair a mistake; each day to surpass ourselves.” -David B. Haight

“The only person I must be better than is the person I was yesterday.” -Author Unknown

We are MFOL! . . . and we declare that everybody is good at something - you only have to keep trying different things until you discover what interests you . . . and then . . . ‘Work At It Until You Excel At It!’ . . .

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Television

1/25/2021

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“After 20 years of searching, you are forced to admit that there just isn’t anything good on TV.” -Author Unknown: “The Onion,” ‘Horoscope’

“There was a show on television the other day that was so old . . . the cowboys were riding dinosaurs.” -Author Unknown

Emma: What was the television doing at the beach?
Lee: Channel surfing.

“Television? The word is half Greek and half Latin. No good will come of this device.” -C. P. Scott (1936)

The television network executives were constantly infuriated by Jay Ward, creator of “The Adventures of Bullwinkle and Rocky” (also known as “The Bullwinkle Show”). He continually pulled off-the-wall stunts on his show. In one episode, he had Bullwinkle tell audience members to pull the knobs off their televisions so that, “We’ll be sure to be with you next week.” 20,000 kids obliged the request. The following week, Bullwinkle told those kids to glue the knobs back on.

“The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you’re doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.” -Jerry Seinfeld (Jerome Allen ‘Jerry’ Seinfeld (born 1954))

“Television is for appearing on, not looking at.” -Noel Coward

Question: Which television show had characters that lived at 1313 Mockingbird Lane in Mockingbird Heights?
Answer: “The Munsters”

‘Laugh tracks’ are also known as ‘canned laughter.’ Many of the laugh tracks now used in television programs, especially sitcoms and talk shows, were recorded in the 1950’s . . . when people still knew how to laugh and had something to laugh about.

“My father hated radio and couldn’t wait for television to be invented so he could hate that, too.” -Peter De Vries (1910 - 1993)

The first television commercial for a toy was in 1946 for Mr. Potato Head.

“Television: An electrical device which, when broken, stimulates conversation.” -Author Unknown

In 1965, BBC TV featured an interview with a professor who had just invented a device called “smellovision.” This miraculous technology allowed viewers to experience directly in their own home aromas produced in the television studio. The professor offered a demonstration by cutting some onions and brewing coffee. A number of viewers called in to confirm that they distinctly experienced these scents as if they were there in the studio with him. Since no aromas were actually being transmitted, whatever these viewers thought they smelled coming out of their TV sets must be chalked up to the power of suggestion.

What kinds of things on television and in movies make you laugh?

Young Lady from Trent

There was a young lady from Trent
Whose TV antenna got bent -
The neighbors went crazy;
Their screens all got hazy,
For instead of receiving, she sent!

by John Etheridge

“Television is about watching a life instead of having one.” -Beth Mazur

“The Brady Bunch is a live action modern fairytale of family. In this context it’s less odd that it’s lasted for over thirty years; and why it may last in some respects as long as Mother Goose!” -Christopher Knight

“If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.” -Lily Tomlin (born 1939)

“The story you have just heard is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.” -Author Unknown: “Dragnet” (1949 - 1957)

“Television has changed the American child from an irresistible force to an immovable object.” -Laurence J. Peter (Laurence Johnston Peter (1919 - 1990))

“I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.” -Dwight D. Eisenhower (Dwight David ‘Ike’ Eisenhower (1890 - 1968))

“You open it with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension. A dimension of sound. A dimension of sight. A dimension of mind. You are moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.” -Rod Serling: one of the intros to the “Twilight Zone” show

“Television contracts the imagination and radio expands it.” -Terry Wogan (born 1938): as quoted in the “Observer” (December 1984) of London

“I don’t know what’s wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman.” -Bruce Baum

“Don’t you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There’s one marked, ‘Brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.” -Gallagher (born 1946 as Leo Anthony Gallagher)

“Television is a form of theater - even news ‘shows’ are simply actors who sit in front of cameras and read from edited scripts displayed on teleprompters or other devices. Reality shows are scripted and are just as far from reality as people can get without being permanently institutionalized.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“My husband wanted one of those new big-screen TV’s for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.” -Wendy Liebman

“Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want.” -Clive Barnes

Hey, who stole our “TV Guide”?!

“TV - a clever contraction derived from the words ‘Terrible Vaudeville’ . . . we call it a medium because nothing’s well done.” -Goodman Ace: letter to Groucho Marx

“The human race is faced with a cruel choice: get a job or watch daytime television.” -Author Unknown

“I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can’t stop eating peanuts.” -Orson Welles (1915 - 1985)

An estimated one in every four Americans has appeared on television, though most are not shown in close-up facial images. You might be walking down the street, standing in a line, sitting down at a sports or other entertainment event, eating lunch at a sidewalk cafe, or spending a leisurely day at a park. You won’t necessarily know that a camera is trained on you or scanning the area you are in, and in most cases, they don’t need your permission legally to do so. Most likely the video of you will be put into storage as ‘stock footage’ at a television studio, to be used at a later time to illustrate a news story. For example, a news program might do a segment on obesity. Someone will be sent to search through the stock footage until something is found that shows a sidewalk full of people walking. They will then edit the video in order to emphasize the obviously overweight people, and show it while a news commentator reads aloud some statistics or health information. This is just another good reason to always try to be at your best when you are out in public.

Fred: Hey, look, Helen, you’re on TV.
Helen: Fred, that’s ridiculous. I’m standing right over here - how could I possibly be on TV?

Question: Who was the first dog in history to adopt a little boy and to build a time machine?
Answer: Mr. Peabody, in “The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.”

What is your favorite television show?

“Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the ‘reception’ was good.” -Author Unknown

“Television is the single greatest threat to communications and connections within a family. You may as well be fifty miles away from the person sitting next to you if you’re both watching television.” -Author Unknown

Shows that may be appearing on TV soon, as a result of the computer age:
- Modem, She Wrote: Each week, our intrepid detective tries to solve the ultimate mystery: Why her modem won’t ever connect at 56k.
- Micro-CHiPs: Ponch and Jon now patrol the Information Superhighway.
- Hawaii 6.0: An upgraded version of the classic series. Steve McGarrett goes surfing for bad guys online.
- T. J. Hacker: A retired cop, with an uncanny resemblance to James T. Kirk, takes up computer hacking to track down the miscreants who canceled his TV show.
- The Excel Files: Inexplicable things are happening to the data in Microsoft Excel spreadsheets. Can this puzzle be solved? The truth is out there.
- Magnum, PC: This series about a crime-solving personal computer that goes by the code name Deep Blue is based in beautiful Hawaii. Season finale cliff-hanger: Will Deep Blue be led into a life of crime by the wily charms of the Texas Instruments Speak ‘n’ Spell?
- The Incredible Bulk: The exciting adventures of Windows, which just keeps growing and growing.

“Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn’t have in your home.” -David Frost (David Paradine Frost (1939 - 2013))

“There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.” -Rod Serling: one of the intros to the “Twilight Zone” show

“Whoever controls the media - the images - controls the culture.” -Allen Ginsberg

[Television] “. . . won’t be able to hold on to any market it captures after the first six months. People will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night.” -Darryl F. Zanuck (1946)

TV announcer: “Our regularly scheduled program will not be seen tonight - because we’ve discovered that not broadcasting anything did better in the ratings than the program itself!”

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” -Groucho Marx (Julius Henry ‘Groucho’ Marx (1890 - 1977))

“All television is educational television. The question is: What is it teaching?” -Nicholas Johnson

“Television programming: Material that fills the time between commercials.” -Author Unknown

“There is a lot of hype going on about high-definition television. But is it really worth it to pay more money to see the same junk in sharper detail?” -Thomas Sowell (born 1930)

Question: How many channels are on a VHF TV dial?
Answer: 12 (there is no #1).

“The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely.” -T. S. Eliot (Thomas Stearns Eliot (1888 - 1965))

“TV is chewing gum for the eyes.” -Frank Lloyd Wright (born Frank Lincoln Wright (1867 - 1959))

“While theoretically and technically television may be feasible, commercially and financially I consider it an impossibility, a development of which we need waste little time or dreaming.” -Lee De Forest (1926)

“Television, a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.” -Ernie Kovacs (1919 - 1962)

“Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.” -Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)

We control your horizontal . . . we control your vertical . . . we are . . . television executives. So they’re who’s responsible . . .

My TV’s Under the Weather

My TV came down with a chill.
As soon as I saw it was ill
     I wrapped up its channels
     In warm Winter flannels
And gave its antenna a pill.

by Willard R. Espy

The Society for the Eradication of Television (SET) no longer exists, and Couch Potatoes likewise is defunct, so some of us must organize to eradicate the beastly television hobgoblin monster thing before it turns us all into gelatinous masses with non-functioning legs and bloodshot eyes. Who will go forth to slay the dragon? Will it be you? How about you? You, over there, can you do it? Hey, can somebody get us some fresh batteries for the remote?

“The best show on TV can usually be found on the OFF channel.” -Author Unknown

Quiz Show Questions and Answers
Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon.
An item of clothing worn by the “Three Musketeers?” A horse.
Something you wear on a beach? A deck-chair.
Something that flies that doesn’t have an engine? A bicycle with wings.
A famous bridge? “The Bridge over Troubled Waters.”
Something people might be allergic to? Skiing.
Something you put on walls? A roof.
Something slippery? A con-man.
A food that can be brown or white? A potato.

“I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off.” -Jack Paar (Jack Harold Paar (1918 - 2004)): as quoted in “TV Guide”

“Television has proven that people will look at anything rather than each other.” -Ann Landers

“Late night T.V. is very educational. It teaches you that you should have gone to bed earlier.” -James Dent

“The smallest bookstore still contains more ideas of worth than have been presented in the entire history of television.” -Andrew Ross

In the United States of America, federal law states that children’s television shows may contain only 10 minutes of advertising per hour and on weekends the limit is 10 and one-half minutes.

“There are days when any electrical appliance in the house, including the vacuum cleaner, seems to offer more entertainment possibilities than the TV set.” -Harriet Van Horne

“If television shows continue the way they’re going, the public will soon be demanding longer commercials.” -Author Unknown

“There is an educational channel. It’s called ‘off.’” -Lily Henderson: remark made at 11 years of age

So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
     Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
     A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
-Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990): “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” (1964)

Just remember, children and adults, watching television is bad for your intellect, causes muscles to atrophy, makes imaginations shrivel, and is a leading cause of suffering in relationships . . . so instead hang out on MFOL! . . . or, even better, go outside and play . . . with your friends, your family, or your imagination . . .

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Teddy Bears

1/20/2021

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“Long before I grew up, my Teddy Bear taught me what love really meant: being there when you’re needed.” -Jim Nelson

Bernie: What do Teddy Bears do when it rains?
Barney: They get wet.

The history of Teddy Bears is believed to have started in about 1902 or shortly thereafter, when the first stuffed Teddy Bears were produced by the Ideal Novelty & Toy Company in America and also by the Steiff Company in Germany. The origin of the name ‘Teddy Bear’ is claimed to be derived from the twenty-sixth American President, Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919; in office 1901 - 1909). His nickname was ‘Teddy,’ so technically, the ‘Teddy Bear’ would be his namesake.

Tad: What’s the difference between Teddy Bears and apples?
Tod: Teddy Bears don’t grow on trees.

“A bear knows all your secrets - and keeps them.” -Rosanne Brown

Two Little Teddy Bears

Two little Teddy Bears
   Big brown eyes
Fluffy little Teddy Bears
     Making mud pies
Muddy little paws, dirty little feet
     Making mud pies is a very special treat
Pop them in the oven
     Bake them in the oven
Bake them till they’re brown
     Our mud pies are the best in town
Ask all the other Bears
     Won’t you come to tea
To eat the finest mud pies
     In the whole country?

by Author Unknown

Melissa: What did the Teddy Bear say when he was offered a second helping?
Chrissy: “No thanks; I’m already stuffed!”

Once upon a time there were three bears . . . three Teddy Bears, that is . . .

“My Teddy was there when I had no friends to play with, no one to talk to, no one to share my little woes or my big joys. He looked constant and was constant. He never aged, no matter how tattered he became. His smell was the smell of my years as a boy, and he alone knew everything. Now, when I see him on the shelf, he is like my flesh and my soul - older, worn, but still full of happiness.” -Robert Kunciov

Theodore: How do Teddy Bears keep their houses cool in Summer?
Ted: They use bear-conditioning.

“It is astonishing, really, how many thoroughly mature, well-adjusted grown-ups harbor a Teddy Bear - which is perhaps why they are thoroughly mature and well-adjusted.” -Joseph Lempa

“Teddy Bears live more commonly in the arms of children than in the woods.” -Author Unknown

Ellie: What do you call a Teddy Bear at the North Pole?
Allie: Lost!

Dutch police cars carry toy Teddy Bears in case something troubling happens to a child.

Theo: How do Teddy Bears send their letters?
Teddy: By bear mail, of course!

Shakespeare pre-dated the Teddy Bear, but he captured the companionship and bond we share with our bears when he wrote: “He was my friend, faithful, and just to me . . .” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

“A bear remains a bear - even when most of him has fallen off or worn away.” -Charlotte Gray

“After people and dolls, Teddy Bears are the third most likely guests to be invited to tea parties.” -Author Unknown

“The gift of a Teddy Bear is good for boys and girls of nearly any age, as well as men and women; they are acceptable in all seasons and on all holidays; they are found in homes, hospitals, and schools. They bring warmth and a sense of belonging to new arrivals in orphanages, foster homes, and emergency shelters. It is not unknown for them to be given by police officers, firefighters, paramedics, soldiers, and rescuers, to persons in distress. As a practical matter, they take up little space, are easily packed and carried, and can double as a pillow for one’s head. They are never out-of-date. In a store somewhere is a Teddy Bear or perhaps a few dozen, waiting to be picked up and presented by you as a welcome gift to someone who is certain to be appreciative.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“A bedroom without a Teddy is like a face without a smile.” -Gil Davies

“The world is divided into two nations: those with Teddy bears, those without. Each thinks the other is odd.” -Jenny De Vries

“There’s no bear like an old bear.” -Samantha Armstrong

Teddy Bear

Teddy was under the lilac bush -
when the snow went away we found him there.
And one of his shoebutton eyes was lost
and the shine was gone from his yellow hair.
But Teddy blinked with his last black eye
and said that he really didn’t care
(except that his cave was a trifle cold)
as long as we came and found him there.
And he said with a smile on his white yarn mouth
that Real bears slept in a cave or lair
All through the Winter . . . and if they could,
well then, why couldn’t a Teddy Bear?

by Aileen Fisher (Aileen Lucia Fisher (1906 - 2002))

“One never quite gets over a lost bear.” -Jane Swan

“Whoever said, ‘Diamonds are a girl’s best friend,’ would retract that statement after seeing the sparkle in a Teddy’s eyes.” -Lana T. Zeis

“Now that I’m all grown up, I can buy any old Teddy Bear I want - except the old Teddy Bear I want.” -William Sternman

Nellie: Why couldn’t the Teddy Bear finish his lunch?
Nettie: Because he was stuffed!

“There’s just something about a Teddy Bear that’s impossible to explain. When you hold one in your arms, you get a feeling of love, comfort, and security. It’s almost supernatural.” -James Ownby

“A Teddy Bear does not depend upon mechanics to give him the semblance of life. He is loved - and therefore he lives.” -Pat Brown

Fuzzy: How do you start a Teddy Bear race?
Wuzzy: Teddy, set, go!

“All bears merit a dignified old age.” -Peter Gray

Vincent: What is the difference between a Teddy Bear and a turkey?
Sylvia: If you don’t know, maybe you shouldn’t cook any holiday dinners!

“A bear grows more alive with age. No one with an ounce of sensitivity could ever consign a bear to the dustbin.” -Johnnie Hague

Tricia: What kind of umbrella does a Teddy Bear carry in the rain?
Beatrice: A wet one!

“Bears are just about the only toy that can lose just about everything and still maintain their dignity and worth.” -Samantha Armstrong

“A Teddy Bear’s virtue is that he cannot love himself . . . only others.” -Ted Menten

“Anyone who has looked a Teddy Bear in the face will recognize the friendly twinkle in his knowing look.” -Harold Nadolny

Your Tiny Teddy Bear

I will be your tiny Teddy Bear,
     And when you need comforting, I will be there!
I’m huggable, lovable, and portable,
     And for the value I bring, I’m quite affordable!
I am cushiony soft and squeezable,
     And I need no batteries, and I am hand-washable!
I am waiting for you, in a shop all alone,
     And now . . . please pick me up and take me home!

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Teddy Bears are one of the most popular gifts to present at baby showers and to newborn babies.

“You really don’t have to be young to find a friend in a Teddy Bear.” -Rachel Newman

Threadbare Ted

Ted the threadbare Teddy Bear
Thought at first he was of no use and later
Discovered he had a flare for being there
Which is mostly all that is required
In times of need.

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

For just the right Teddy Bear, visit Vermont Teddy Bears at https://www.VermontTeddyBear.com/ and be sure to let them know you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Geoffrey: Why did Teddy Bear not eat dessert?
George: Because he was already stuffed.

“Once a bear has been loved by a human being, its expression is forever marked.” -Jama Kim Rattigan

“A Teddy Bear is your childhood wrapped up in faded yellow fur, and as such, he commands affection long after he is outgrown.” -Pat Brown

This is MFOL! . . . we cannot wait to see what is coming next . . .

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Procrastination and Procrastinating

1/17/2021

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“Don’t put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))

They said ‘procrastination’ was
     The source of all my sorrow.
I don’t know what that big word means -
     I’ll look it up tomorrow.
-Author Unknown

Earl: Can you give me the definition of procrastination?
Lee: I will do it later.
Earl: You are right!

procrastination is the
art of keeping
up with yesterday
-Don Marquis (Donald Robert Perry ‘Don’ Marquis (1878 - 1937)): “the lives and times of archy & mehitabel” (1940), using lower case letters and no punctuation, in the style of the fictional writer character he created

“In delay there lies no plenty.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

Overheard: I bought a book titled “How to Stop Procrastinating,” and I have promised myself that someday, I am going to actually read it.

“Do not put your work off till tomorrow and the day after; for a sluggish worker does not fill his barn.” -Hesiod (about 800 B.C.E. - about 720 B.C.E.)

“When we procrastinate, we also put a hold on happiness.” -Charles F. Glassman

“I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator . . . I can put off all kinds of things at once.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Procrastination is not laziness,” I tell him. “It is fear. Call it by its right name, and forgive yourself.” -Julia Cameron (Julia B. Cameron (born 1948)): “The Prosperous Heart” (2012)

“It was my fear of failure that first kept me from attempting the master work. Now, I’m beginning what I could have started ten years ago. But I’m happy at least that I didn’t wait twenty years.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

“Join the circus of chaos . . . juggling, stilt walking, and other skills for socially acceptable procrastination.” -Pat Murphy (Patrice Ann ‘Pat’ Murphy (born 1955))

“Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon ‘Napoleon’ Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Putting off an easy thing makes it hard. Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible.” -George Claude Lorimer (1838 - 1904): as quoted in George Horace Lorimer (1867 - 1937): “Letters from a Self-Made Merchant to His Son” (1902), ‘June 25, 189-,’ page 48

“While we are postponing, life speeds by.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument, while the song I came to sing remains unsung.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

“You can’t get much done in life if you only work on the days when you feel good.” -Jerry Alan West (Jerome ‘Jerry’ Alan West (born 1938))

“Procrastination makes easy things hard, hard things harder.” -Mason Cooley (1927 - 2002)

“Every duty which is bidden to wait, returns with seven fresh duties at its back.” -Charles Kingsley (1819 - 1875): “Sermons for the Times” (1855)

“Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.” -Stephen King (born 1947)

“The dread of doing a task uses up more time and energy than doing the task itself.” -Rita Emmett (1943 - 2019)

“Things dreaded require double time to accomplish them.” -James Lendall Basford (1845 - 1915)

“If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.” -Ivan Turgenev (Ivan Sergeyevich Turgenev (1818 - 1883))

“Begin while others are procrastinating. Work while others are wishing.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“If you wait until all the lights are ‘green’ before you leave home, you’ll never get started on your trip to the top.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“KISS Procrastination Away: Keep It Super Simple, Keep It Step-by-Step, Keep It Scheduled and Systematic.” -Lisa A. Mininni (Lisa Ann Mininni (born 1954))

“How soon ‘not now’ becomes ‘never’.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Doing just a little bit during the time we have available puts you that much further ahead than if you took no action at all.” -Byron Pulsifer (Byron R. Pulsifer), website https://www.QuotesChristian.com

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” -Anne Frank (1929 - 1945): “The Diary of a Young Girl” (1952)

Lose This Day Loitering

Lose this day loitering - ‘twill be the same story
     To-morrow - and the next more dilatory;
Each indecision brings its own delays,
     And days are lost lamenting o’er lost days,
Are you in earnest? Seize this very minute -
     Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Only engage, and then the mind grows heated -
     Begin it, and then the work will be completed!

by Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe (1749 - 1832): “Faust,” Part 1 (1808) and Part 2 (1832)

Overheard: Some tasks have to be put off dozens of times before they will completely slip your mind.

“Things don’t get any easier by putting them off.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)): “The Razor’s Edge” (1943)

Shun delays, they breed remorse;
     Take thy time while time is lent thee;
Creeping snails have weakest force,
     Fly their fault lest thou repent thee.
Good is best when soonest wrought,
     Linger’d labours come to nought.
-Robert Southwell (1561 - 1595): “Loss in Delay”; as quoted in William B. Turnbull, editor: “The Poetical Works of the Rev. Robert Southwell” (1856)

“I’m very busy doing things I don’t need to do in order to avoid anything I’m actually supposed to be doing.” -Author Unknown

“Do you know what happens when you give a procrastinator a good idea? Nothing!” -Donald Gardner

“Waiting to develop courage is just another form of procrastination. We must take action while we’re afraid.” -Author Unknown

“A procrastinator’s work is never done.” -Author Unknown

“Getting an idea should be like sitting on a pin; it should make you jump up and do something.” -E. L. Simpson

“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.” -Thomas Draxe (birth year unknown - 1618): “Adages” (1616)

“Remember, action today can prevent a crisis tomorrow.” -Steve Shallenberger (Steven R. Shallenberger (born 1958)): “Becoming Your Best: The 12 Principles of Highly Successful Leaders” (2014)

“What is deferred is not avoided.” -Thomas More (1478 - 1535): “Utopia” (1516)

Procrastination is the thief of time:
     Year after year it steals, till all are fled,
And to the mercies of a moment leaves
     The vast concerns of an eternal scene.
-Edward Young (1683 - 1765): “Night Thoughts” (1742 - 1745), line 393

“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870))

“Procrastination is a road-block in the path of success.” -Author Unknown

“The habit of always putting off an experience until you can afford it, or until the time is right, or until you know how to do it, is one of the greatest burglars of joy. Be deliberate, but once you’ve made up your mind - jump in.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934)): “Living on the Ragged Edge” (1985), page 110

“Often greater risk is involved in postponement than in making a wrong decision.” -Harry A. Hopf (Harry Arthur Hopf (1882 - 1949))

“Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow.” -Gerald Vaughan

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955))): “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” (1948)

“I’m going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!” -Sam Levenson (Samuel ‘Sam’ Levenson (1911 - 1980))

“What may be done at any Time will be done at no Time.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 5500

“Procrastination is a teardrop in the sands of time.” -Heath Byers

“One of these days is none of these days.” -H. G. Bohn (Henry George Bohn (1796 - 1884))

“Someday is not a day of the week.” -Janet Dailey (Janet Anne Haradon Dailey (1944 - 2013))

“If you procrastinate when faced with a big, difficult problem . . . break the problem into parts, and handle one part at a time.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“It has been a productive day - I got a lot of procrastinating accomplished.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“The man who will not act until he knows all will never act at all . . .” -Jim Elliot (1927 - 1956)

“Procrastination usually results in sorrowful regret. Today’s duties put off until tomorrow give us a double burden to bear; the best way is to do them in their proper time.” -Ida Scott Taylor (Ida Scott Taylor McKinney (1855 - 1932))

“The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.” -Richard Cushing (Richard James Cushing (1895 - 1970))

“There are those of us who are always about to live. We are waiting until things change, until there is more time, until we are less tired, until we get a promotion, until we settle down - until, until, until. It always seems as if there is some major event that must occur in our lives before we begin living.” -George Sheehan (1918 - 1993)

“One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

Defer not till to-morrow to be wise,
To-morrow’s Sun to thee may never rise.
-William Congreve (1670 - 1729): “Letter to Cobham,” line 61

“Postpone not a good action.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb

“If you put off everything till you’re sure of it, you’ll never get anything done.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

All the Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
Layin’ in the Sun,
Talkin’ bout the things
They woulda-coulda-shoulda done . . .
But those Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
All ran away and hid
From one little did.
-Shel Silverstein (Sheldon Allan ‘Shel’ Silverstein (1930 - 1999)): “Falling Up” (1996)

“I don’t wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has got to get down to work.” -Pearl S. Buck (Pearl Sydenstricker Buck (1892 - 1973))

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter, who?
Butter late than never!

“Don’t put off for tomorrow what you should do today.” -Aesop: “The Grasshopper and the Ants” (about 6th century B.C.E.)

“By one delay after another they spin out their whole lives, till there’s no more future left for them.” -Roger L’Estrange (1616 - 1704)

“Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“He who hesitates is last.” -Mae West

“If you have goals and procrastination, you have nothing. If you have goals and you take action, you will have anything you want.” -Thomas J. Vilord (Thomas Joseph Vilord (born 1975))

“By the street of By-and-By, one arrives at the House of Never.” -Miguel de Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1547 - 1616)): “Don Quixote” (1605)

“A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.” -Hunter S. Thompson (Hunter Stockton Thompson (1937 - 2005)): “The Proud Highway” (1997)

“Following through is the only thing that separates dreamers from people that accomplish great things.” -Gene Hayden

“If and When were planted, and Nothing grew.” -Catherine Pulsifer (born 1927): “If and When,” website https://www.QuotesChristian.com

“There is no avoidance in delay.” -Aeschylus (about 525 B.C.E. - about 456 B.C.E.): “Agamemnon” (about 458 B.C.E.)

“Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.” -Robert Benchley (Robert Charles Benchley (1889 - 1945)): as quoted in Robert E. Drennan, editor: “The Algonquin Wits” (1968)

“If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.” -Rita Mae Brown (born 1944)

Overheard: I am just waiting to do my work at the last minute, because by then I will be older and wiser.

“Often just by taking action, by doing something about the situation, you can relieve the stress and help correct the situation.” -Catherine Pulsifer (born 1927), website https://www.QuotesChristian.com

“He who begun has half done. Dare to be wise; begin.” -Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.))

“Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“The really happy people are those who have broken the chains of procrastination, those who find satisfaction in doing the job at hand. They’re full of eagerness, zest, productivity. You can be, too.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late.” -Marie Beynon Ray (1886 - 1969)

“Let’s get started while we’re still young!” -Author Unknown: words said by a man who was seventy-five years of age

We are MFOL! . . . and by choosing to make ‘someday’ into ‘today,’ we can make the future even greater than the present . . .

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Meeting and Parting

1/11/2021

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Most things in life start with hello . . .

“Be the first to say hello to others. You will have a happier day.” -Author Unknown

“A simple hello could lead to a million things.” -Author Unknown

Lucy: So, how are you today?
Anne: Just ducky!

“Why can’t we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn’t work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.” -Charles M. Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000))

‘Cheerio!’ is a way of saying at once ‘goodbye’ and ‘be of good cheer.’

Goodbyes

Goodbyes are not forever,
     Goodbyes are not the end -
They simply mean I’ll miss you,
     Until we meet again.

by Author Unknown

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howie.
Howie, who?
I’m fine. Howie you?

“Don’t be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936)): “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah” (1977), chapter 18

Matthew: How are you?
Luke: Too blessed to be stressed!

Meeting and Parting Without Physical Contact and Spoken Words Optional
- Bowing.
- Curtsying.
- Hand gesturing such as the Hippie ‘peace sign.’
- Hand waving.
- Hat tipping.
- Head nodding.
- Saluting.
Can you add to this list?

When asked how to make goodbyes less sad and scary, our first thought was, ice cream! But maybe better answers exist. Can you think of some?

“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” – Paulo Coelho

Cassidy: What did the buffalo say when his son went off to college?
Cassandra: “Bison!”

The proper response to the Irish greeting, “Top of the morning to you,” is “And the rest of the day to yourself.”

Elma: Hi, how are you?
Bert: Better and better!

It was the briefest of encounters, so I quickly said, “Hello - and goodbye!”

Elvis: How ya’ doin’?
Sonny: Feelin’ groovy!

Overheard: If you see me getting smaller, it means I’m leaving.

An Irish Blessing

May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
And the rain fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

by Author Unknown

The word ‘goodbye’ is a contraction of the Old English phrase, ‘God be by ye,’ which roughly translates to Modern English as, ‘May God be with you.’

Al: How are you, my friend?
Vin: I’m doing swimmingly!

‘So-long’ is derived from the Arabic ‘salaam’ and the Hebrew ‘shalom,’ which roughly translate to English as, ‘peace unto you.’

How are you?
- About average.
- Couldn’t be better.
- Fair to partly cloudy.
- Fit as a fiddle.
- Good.
- Just peachy
- Marvelous.
- Not bad.
- Outstanding.
- Perfect.
- Pretty good.
- Spectacular.
- Super!
So, how are you today?

Merry may we meet,
     Merry may we be together,
Merry may we part.
     And merry meet again.
-Author Unknown

Thomas Edison coined the word ‘hello’ and introduced it as a way to answer the telephone. This begs the question, what did people commonly say in greeting each other before ‘hello’ was invented?

Carpenter Bob: How are you?
Tailor Jill: Just sew-sew!

“I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, ‘I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.’ I said, ‘I am.’” -Demetri Martin (Demetri Evan Martin (born 1973))

Animal Theme Meeting Lines
- How do you do, kangaroo?
- What’s the word, mocking bird?
Can you think of others?

Jody: What do wolves say when they are introduced?
Cody: “Howl do you do?”

“The two hardest things to say in life are hello for the first time and goodbye for the last.” -Moira Rogers (pseudonym of writing team Bree Bridges and Donna Herren)

“When I feel threatened, vulnerable, or insecure, whether it is from simply walking into a room of unknown people, meeting someone for the first time, an unexpected or expected confrontation, or doing something new, I affirm in my mind (over and over): There is no danger, there is no threat. From there, the discomfort lessens and I become open for discovery and adventure.” -Charles F. Glassman (born 1959): “Brain Drain: The Breakthrough That Will Change Your Life” (2009)

“Fare thee well.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Antony and Cleopatra” (1606 - 1607), Act 4, scene 4

Fare thee well! and if forever,
Still forever, fare thee well.
-Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824)): “Fare Thee Well” (1816), stanza 1

“Good-bye is always hello to something else.” -George Ella Lyon (born 1949): “Borrowed Children” (March 1988)

The custom of shaking hands began in ancient times when strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed and had no ill intent.

“So long, and thanks for all the fish!” -Douglas Adams (Douglas Noel Adams (1952 - 2001))

“There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.” -Author Unknown

Alex: Morning glory.
Felix: Evening grace.

“Take me to your leader.” -Unidentified Space Alien: line from a science fiction movie

Good-night, good-night! parting is such sweet sorrow
That I shall say good-night till it be morrow.
-William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Romeo and Juliet” (1595), Act II, scene ii

“We only part to meet again.” -John Gay (1685 - 1732)

Animal Theme Parting Lines
- Adieu, cockatoo!
- Adios, hippos!
- After a while, crocodile!
- Be well, speedy snail!
- Better shake, rattlesnake!
- Bye-bye, butterfly!
- Can’t stay, blue jay.
- Don’t meander, salamander!
- Good wishes, jellyfishes!
- Goodbye, dragonfly!
- Goodbye, fruit fly!
- Gotta go, buffalo!
- Hasta mañana, iguana!
- Hit the road, hoppy toad!
- See you later, alligator!
- See you soon, hairy baboon!
- See you soon, raccoon!
- See you then, penguin!
- So long, King Kong!
- Stay well, gazelle!
- Take care, grizzly bear!
- Take care, polar bear!
- Ta-ta, chihuahua!
- Toodle-oo, kangaroo!
- Tout de suite, parakeet!
- Until then, little red hen!

Cool Cat: How are things?
Hot Dog: Dyn-o-mite, baby.

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” -A. A. Milne (Alan Alexander Milne (1882 - 1956)): “Winnie the Pooh” (1926)

Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves when they rode past their king. This custom has become the modern military salute.

Logic: How are you?
Reason: I exist.

“Sometimes you have to find the good in goodbye.” -Author Unknown

Anne: How are you getting along?
Gus: Fair to midlin’.

“It is generally agreed that ‘Hello’ is an appropriate greeting because if you entered a room and said ‘Goodbye,’ it could confuse a lot of people.” -Dolph Sharp (born 1914)

“All farewells should be sudden.” -Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824)): “Sardanapalus” (1821), act V

Velma: How are things in the fast-paced business world?
Wilma: I’m just about breakin’ even.

“This is not goodbye, it’s just goodnight.” -Alan Freed (1922 - 1965): signature sign-off as a radio announcer

Jean: How are you?
Gene: Everything’s copacetic!*
*copacetic (koh-puh-SET-ik), adjective: satisfactory; fine.

“Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet again in life.” -Jean Paul Richter (1763 - 1825): as attributed in “The Pulpit Treasury” (March 1884)

‘CU L8R’ is an abbreviation for ‘See you later.’

“A friend bought a new wig before going on holiday, so I got him a comb as a parting gift.” -Author Unknown

We’ll meet again,
Don’t know where, don’t know when,
But I know we’ll meet again,
Some sunny day.
-Vera Lynn

The phrase ‘long time no see’ is believed to be a literal translation of a Native American or Chinese phrase as it is not grammatically correct.

Suzette: Y’all come back real soon now, ya hear?
Angus: You mean, like, right now?
Suzette: No, like, later!
Angus: Well, then . . . how about right now, is that later enough?

“‘It is never good dwelling on good-byes,’ she said. ‘It is not the being together that it prolongs, it is the parting.’” -Elizabeth Charlotte Lucy Bibesco (also known as Princess Bibesco, Elizabeth Asquith, and Elizabeth Bibesco; born Elizabeth Charlotte Lucy Asquith (1897 - 1945))

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Willy.
Willy, who?
Willy good to see you today, my friend!

What does it mean to ‘always leave on a high note’? It means to always leave people wanting more by saying uplifting or humorous words when you are on the way out.

“To all, to each, a fair good-night, and pleasing dreams, and slumbers light.” -Walter Scott (1771 - 1832)

Smokey Bear: See ya later!
Woodsy Owl: Owl be seeing you!

‘Håfa adai’ (pronounced approximately like ‘half a day’ but leaving out the ‘l’ sound in ‘half’) is an expression for ‘hello’ in the native Chamorro language of the island of Guam and the Northern Marianas, both of which are in the Mariana islands chain. The literal translation is ‘what friend’ and the expression is sometimes informally shortened to just ‘håfa.’

Is sticking out your tongue an acceptable way to greet people or to say goodbye to people?

‘Ciao’ (pronounced as ‘chow’) is an Italian expression that can be said to people both at meeting and at parting.

Similarly, the word ‘aloha’ (pronounced as ‘uh-loh-uh or ‘ah-loh-hah’) is Hawaiian for both ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye.’

Roseanne: How are you?
Marianne: I’m doing my best!

Overheard: I like smiling and waving at random strangers, because then they will spend the rest of the day trying to figure out who the mysterious person was that waved at them.

May your hellos outnumber your goodbyes as you continue on your journey . . . and may you never forget to ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ . . .

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