Make Fun Of Life!

These Celery Fish Are Seeing Something

1/19/2020

These celery fish are seeing what is on www.MakeFunOfLife.net and are keenly interested . . . perhaps you will be too . . .

If you came here looking for fun, you are in the right place. Just travel down this page, skipping the topics that might not interest you, until you come to the ones that appeal to you. When you have a moment, be sure to explore some of the other pages on the website, such as the Silly and the Society pages, which can be viewed by clicking on the menu bar above.

This is MFOL! - what, you say there is no such thing as celery fish?!

0 Comments

Light Bulbs and Artificial Lighting

1/18/2020

0 Comments

Eugene: How many circus performers does it take to change a light bulb?
Nigel: Two; one to change the bulb and the other to shout, ‘Taaa-daaaaaa!’

Agatha: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Christie: Two; one to screw it almost all the way in, and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

Gertie: Why was the streetlight shining down on the road?
Gertrude: To light the way for the chicken to get safely across.

Orville: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Wilbur: To change a light bulb.

Carmella: How many chickens does it take to change a light bulb?
Christina: Just one, but it has to cross the road first.

Sylvester: How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Sylvia: Only one, but it sure takes a truckload of light bulbs!

Jerry: How many grocery store cashiers does it take to change a light bulb?
Jenny: Are you kidding? Why, they won’t even give change for a five-dollar bill!

Mel: How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Vin: None, they just define darkness as the new industry standard.

Chandelier Man. I walked into a convenience store early this morning and there was a guy hanging from a light fixture on the ceiling, so I asked the clerk what he was doing up there. The clerk said, “Oh, don’t worry about him - he’s just some poor confused guy who thinks he’s a light bulb.” I said, “Don’t you think you should help him get down from there before he falls and hurts himself?” The clerk responded, “Well, yes, I guess I could - but then I would have to work in the dark.”

Mathilda: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Mattie: Only one, because they do not like to share the spotlight.

Jeremy: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Jeremiah: Two; one to assure us that everything possible is being done, while the other one screws the light bulb into a water faucet.

In 1802, English physician Humphrey Davy made an electric light by passing current through a platinum strip, creating the first-known carbon arc lamp.

Frankie: How many Spaniards does it take to change a light bulb?
Francine: Juan.

Jan: How many statisticians does it take to change a light bulb?
Jen: Exactly 1.67.

Herman: How many seabirds does it take to change a light bulb?
Sherman: About four or five terns ought to do the trick.

Would you like to have light bulbs that stay on even after the power goes out, and that you could remove from the sockets to use as portable light sources, just as if they were flashlights? You can. Visit www.lyfelite.com, and let them know you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Joshua: How many carpenters does it take to change a light bulb?
Isaac: Two; one to hold it, while the other one hammers it in.
(When you have a hammer, everything begins to looks like a nail!)

Chester: How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb?
Chet: One.

A layer of dust can build up on light bulbs over time, reducing their light output. Take a dry cloth and wipe the dust off them to restore some of their light output.

A man was polishing a light bulb before inserting it into the socket, when there was a big flash and a genie appeared before him. “I am the genie of the light bulb,” the genie said. “I will answer any three questions for you - but only three. Do you have three questions you would like to ask?” “Who? Me?” asked the man. “Yes, you,” said the genie. “Now, what is your third question?”

In 1878, English chemist and physicist Joseph Swan created a working incandescent lamp and received a patent for it.

Vanessa: How many Roman Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
Vanetta: None. They use candles.

Archie: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
Archibald: One, but he or she will still be living in darkness.

“‘Don’t be the moth. Be the light bulb.’ When I say that I mean don’t follow the crowd. Just shine. Be the light bulb. Do your thing. Pave your own path.” -Sara Paxton

Iris: How many visitors to an art gallery does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Irene: Two; one to do it and one to say, “Huh! My four-year old could have done that!”

Gene: How many antelopes does it take to change a light bulb?
Jean: None; they are hardy animals that migrate between tundra and wide open plains, and therefore have no need for an artificial light source.

Cyrus: How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?
Cyril: Only one, but you should have seen the size of that light bulb!

Otto: How many secularists does it take to change a light bulb?
Bob: None - they leave all of the good deeds for Christians to do.

“When Edison first started out with his ‘crazy’ idea for the light bulb, skeptics were unmoved. They called Thomas Edison a con man and taunted him to prove his bulb could really work. Despite the naysayers, Edison pushed on, demonstrating the importance of sticking with his ‘crazy’ idea which would go on to turn him into one of the world’s most well-known entrepreneurs. The key here is to fan the foolish fire no matter what!” -Linda Rottenberg

In 1879, Thomas Edison invented the first commercially available light bulb, meaning one that people could buy for their own use. His carbon filament incandescent lamp proved to be so vastly superior to candles and oil lamps that everyone from farmers to writers to lawyers to shopkeepers to preachers rushed out to buy them, which spurred the installation of electric generators and electric power lines across the United States of America and around the world.

“I’m one of those people that think Thomas Edison and the light bulb changed the world more than Karl Marx ever did.” -Steve Jobs

Bridget: How many real men does it take to change a light bulb?
Gidget: None, because real men are not afraid of the dark.

Violet: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Viola: That is not funny!

Amos: How many paranoids does it take to change a light bulb?
Moses: Exactly who are you, and why do you want to know?

Lola: Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
Prudence: No, but if you will hum a little of it, I can fake the rest.

Janet: What did one light bulb say to the other?
Anette: “I love you a whole watt!”

Kenneth: How many “Star Trek” Borg does it take to change a light bulb?
Keith: All of them!

Dick: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
Jane: One juggler, but it takes three bulbs.

Eddie: What do you get when you cross a light bulb with a baby?
Ellie: A light bulb that cries when it needs to be changed.

Before the invention and widespread availability of electric lighting, people slept on average ten hours each night.

Ted: How many astronauts does it take to change a light bulb?
Theo: None; changing a light bulb is not rocket science, you know.

May: How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
June: None - the light bulb gives itself up and turns itself in.

Bradley: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
Todd: We will have an estimate ready for you a week from Monday.

How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Golden Retriever: The Sun is shining, the day is young, we have our whole lives ahead of us, and you are inside worrying about a burned out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I will replace any wiring that is not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
German Shepherd: I will change it as soon as I lead these people from the dark, check to make sure I have not missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russell Terrier: I will just pop it in while I am bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I am sorry, but I don’t see a light bulb.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there . . . yep, sure it is, exactly there . . .
Greyhound: It is not moving, so who cares?
New Zealand Sheep Dog: First, I will put all the light bulbs in a little cluster . . .

Myrtle: How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Myron: One, because they are efficient and do not have a sense of humor.
(Wenn Sie Deutscher sind, denken Sie bitte daran, dass dies nur ein Witz ist!)

John: How did the hipster burn his hand?
Jonathan: He changed the light bulb before it was cool.

Claire: How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Clara: Two, one to screw it in, and one not to screw it in.

Melanie: How many burglars does it take to change a light bulb?
Melody: No one knows, because when the light comes on, they all scatter.

David: Why did the fifteen-watt bulb flunk out of school?
Arthur: She was not very bright - but don’t be sad, because she grew up and got a high-paying job in a government bureaucracy, doing nothing worthwhile every day!

Ivan: How many capitalistic exploiters of the working classes does it take to change a light bulb?
Igor: None, that is the historically determined role of the proletariat!

“Suppose you make a hole in an ordinary evacuated electric light bulb and allow the air molecules to pass in at the rate of 1,000,000 a second, the bulb will become full of air in approximately 100,000,000 years.” -Francis William Aston

Percy: Why was the hippie staring at the light bulb?
Mercy: He was trying to do some light reading.

In Victoria, Australia, only licensed electricians are permitted to change light bulbs.

Burt: How many Hegelians does it take to change a light bulb?
Bart: None - the bulb is just at one dialectical pole between ‘bright’ and ‘dark,’ so it will eventually synthesize these into at least some dim glow.

Lois: How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb?
Louis: Who knows . . . why, on their tiny salaries, many of them cannot even afford to teach their students, let alone enlighten them!

Bertha: How many Analytic Philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?
Bert: None - it is a pseudo-problem . . . light bulbs give off light (hence the name); if the bulb was broken and was not giving off light, it would not be a ‘light bulb’ now would it?

Emily: How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?
Emaline: Only one, to aim the X-ray machine, but the bulb changes very, very slowly.

Corey: How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb?
Cora: At least, a Brazilian.

Maxine: How many tech-support people does it take to change a light bulb?
Maxwell: Please continue to hold . . . your call is very important to us.

We are MFOL! . . . changing the world . . . one light bulb at a time . . .

0 Comments

Faith and Belief

1/16/2020

0 Comments

I Believe

I believe in the Sun,
   even when it is not shining.
I believe in love,
   even when I do not feel it.
I believe in God,
   even when He is silent.

by Author Unknown: lines written on the wall of a cellar that had been a hiding place for persecuted Jews in Cologne, Germany during World War 2; the poem was discovered after the building had been destroyed by bombing

“Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we’ll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“To disbelieve is easy; to scoff is simple; to have faith is harder.” -Louis L’Amour (born Louis Dearborn LaMoore (1908 - 1988))

“I truly believe we can either see the connections, celebrate them, and express gratitude for our blessings, or we can see life as a string of coincidences that have no meaning or connection. For me, I’m going to believe in miracles, celebrate life, rejoice in the views of eternity, and hope my choices will create a positive ripple effect in the lives of others. This is my choice.” -Mike Ericksen

“Sometimes the only available transportation is a leap of faith.” -Margaret Shepard

“Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe.” -Mark Victor Hansen (born 1948)

“Faith does not make things easy. It makes them possible.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” Luke, chapter 1, verse 37

“Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, and faith looks up . . .” -Elizabeth Kenny (1880 - 1952)

══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════

Faith

Doubt sees the obstacles,
     Faith sees the way.

Doubt sees the darkest night,
     Faith sees the day.

Doubt dreads to take a step,
     Faith soars on high.

Doubt questions, “Who believes?”
     Faith answers, “I.”

by Author Unknown

══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════

“Faith has to do with things that are not seen, and hope with things that are not in hand.” -Thomas Aquinas (1225 - 1274)

“Start each day by saying to yourself, ‘I can do this.’ As you leave home, say to yourself, ‘I can do this.’ At each step along the way, say, ‘I can do this!’ You can, and you will, because you are an ‘I can do this’ kind of person with faith in yourself, and the knowing that ‘I can do this.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Faith never fails: it is a miracle worker. It looks beyond all boundaries, transcends all limitations, penetrates all obstacles, and sees the goal.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Granted that faith cannot be proved, what harm will come to you if you gamble on its truth and it proves false? If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager, then, without hesitation, that He exists.” -Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662), commenting on belief in God (a quotation often referred to by persons other than its author as ‘Pascal’s Wager’)

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible” (King James Version (1611)), ‘Epistle to the Hebrews,’ chapter 11, verse 1

“Faith without works is like a bird without wings; though she may hop with her companions on Earth, yet she will never fly with them to Heaven.” -Francis Beaumont

“Fear, too, is a type of faith - faith that it won’t work out.” -Mary Tricky (similar quotation attributed to Elizabeth David)

“If I didn’t have spiritual faith, I would be a pessimist. But I’m an optimist. I’ve read the last page in the Bible. It’s all going to turn out all right.” -Billy Graham (William Franklin ‘Billy’ Graham, Junior (born 1918))

“Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

“Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“When I was younger, I thought that the key to success was just hard work. But the real foundation is faith. Faith - the idea that ‘I can do it’ - is the opposite of fear (‘What if I fail?’). And faith creates motivation, which in turn leads to commitment, hard work, preparation . . . and eventually success.” -Howard Twilley (born 1943)

“We are what we believe we are.” -C. S. Lewis (Clive Staples Lewis (1898 - 1963))

“Act like you are blessed. Talk like you are blessed. Walk like you are blessed. Put actions behind your faith and one day you will see it become a reality.” -Joel Osteen (born 1963)

“I could not say I believe. I know! I have had the experience of being gripped by something that is stronger than myself, something that people call God.” -Carl Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961))

══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════

Faith

Faith . . .
Makes the outlook calm,
the uplook constant,
the inlook accurate.

Faith . . .
Makes yesterday a stepping stone,
today a new beginning
tomorrow a limitless possibility.

by Author Unknown

══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════

“Faith is the hostess that will not entertain doubt.” -Jenna Wright

“Nor do I seek to understand that I may believe, but I believe that I may understand. For this too I believe, that unless I first believe, I shall not understand.” -Anselm of Canterbury (about 1033 - about 1109)

“We have no way to know anything for certain except by faith.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.” -Alex Hamilton (born 1936): “Born Old” radio broadcast, as quoted in the “Listener” (9 November 1978)

“Faith can reach beyond the limits of current reason.” -Rosemary M. Wixom

“Faith is the very first thing you should pack in a hope chest.” -Sarah Ban Breathnach

“I believe in the principle that I can make a difference in this world. It may be ever so small, but it will count for the greater good. The goodness of the world in which we live is the accumulated goodness of many small and seemingly inconsequential acts.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that thou mayest believe, but believe that thou mayest understand.” -Augustine of Hippo (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430): “Ioannis Evangelium”

“Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.” -Author Unknown

“Rarely do we find ourselves in circumstances in which we cannot choose for ourselves between faith and belief or doubt and uncertainty.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Just as a small fire is extinguished by the storm whereas a large fire is enhanced by it - likewise a weak faith is weakened by predicament and catastrophes whereas a strong faith is strengthened by them.” -Viktor Frankl (Viktor Emil Frankl (1905 - 1997))

“Faith is to believe what you do not yet see; the reward for this faith is to see what you believe.” -Augustine of Hippo (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430)

“It is good to dream, but it is better to dream and work. Faith is mighty, but action with faith is mightier. Desiring is helpful, but work and desire are invincible.” - Thomas Robert Gaines

“The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen.” -Frank Lloyd Wright (1867 - 1959)

“Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he is.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Fear imprisons, faith liberates; fear paralyzes, faith empowers; fear disheartens, faith encourages; fear sickens, faith heals; fear makes useless, faith makes serviceable.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969)

“In actual life every great enterprise begins with and takes its first forward step in faith.” -Friedrich von Schlegel (1772 - 1829)

“I feel for all faiths the warm sympathy of one who has come to learn that even the trust in reason is a precarious faith, and that we are all fragments of darkness groping for the Sun. I know no more about the ultimates than the simplest urchin in the streets.” -Will Durant (William James ‘Will’ Durant (1885 - 1981)): “The Story of Civilization” (1935 - 1975), volume 6, ‘The Reformation’ (1957), ‘Preface’

“Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.” -Brené Brown

When you walk to the edge of all the light you have
And you take the first step into the darkness of the unknown
You must believe that one of two things will happen
There will be something solid for you to stand upon
Or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton: “The Leaning Tree” (1 January 1975), ‘Faith’; type of work: collected poems by a single author in book form; author’s website: https://patrickoverton.com

“The question what to believe is perhaps the most momentous that anyone can put to himself. Our beliefs are not to be classed among the luxuries, but among the necessaries of existence.” -Felix Adler (1851 - 1933)

“The progress of mankind has always depended upon those who, seemingly isolated and powerless in their own day, have seen their vision and remained true to it. In the darkening corridors of time, they preserved integral their vision of the daylight at the end. This is a matter not of calculation but of faith. Our work may be small and its results invisible to us. But we may rest assured it will come to fruition in God’s good time.” -John Ferguson: “The Enthronement of Love”

“They are able because they think they are able.” -Vergil: “The Aeneid” (about 29 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.), verse 231; variously translated as “They can because they think they can.”

“Faith is the antidote for fear.” -Russell M. Nelson

“Faith is courage; it is creative. Despair is always destructive.” -David S. Muzzey

“He does not believe, that does not live according to his Belief.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 1838

“If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

“The only thing that separates any one of us from excellence is fear, and the opposite of fear is faith.” -Michael J. Fox (pseudonym of Michael Andrew Fox (born 1961))

“Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe.” -Author Unknown

“It is a good thing to believe; it is a good thing to admire. By continually looking upwards, our minds will themselves grow upwards; as a man, by indulging in habits of scorn and contempt for others, is sure to descend to the level of those he despises.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875)

This is MFOL! . . . be of good cheer and talk to the world . . . of happiness . . .

0 Comments

Poetry

1/11/2020

0 Comments

Time Is . . .
Too slow for those who wait,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice,
But for those who love,
Time is Eternity.
-Henry van Dyke (Henry Jackson van Dyke, Junior (1852 - 1933)): “Music and Other Poems” (1904), ‘Time Is’

“Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.” -Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967)

You speak
As one who fed on poetry.
-Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)): “Richelieu” (1839) play, Act i, Scene vi

There Isn’t Time!

There isn’t time, there isn’t time
     To do the things I want to do,
With all the mountain-tops to climb,
     And all the woods to wander through,
And all the seas to sail upon,
     And everywhere there is to go,
And all the people, everyone
     Who lives upon the Earth, to know.
There’s only time, there’s only time
     To know a few, and do a few,
And then sit down and make a rhyme
     About the rest I want to do.

by Eleanor Farjeon (1881 - 1965)

“Poetry is truth dwelling in beauty.” -Robert Gilfillan

“The world is full of poetry. The air is living with its spirit; and the waves dance to the music of its melodies, and sparkle in its brightness.” -James Gates Percival (1795 - 1856)

Cats

Cats, no less liquid than their shadows,
     Offer no angles to the wind.
They slip, diminished, neat, through loopholes
     Less than themselves.

by A. S. J. Tessimond: “Cats” (1934), page 20

“If there would be a recipe for a poem, these would be the ingredients: word sounds, rhythm, description, feeling, memory, rhyme, and imagination. They can be put together a thousand different ways . . .” -Karla Kuskin (1932 - 2009)

“A poet is a man who puts up a ladder to a star and climbs it while playing a violin.” -Edmond de Goncourt

As I Was Falling Down the Stair

As I was falling down the stair
     I met a bump that wasn’t there;
It might have put me on the shelf
     Except I wasn’t there myself.

by Hughes Mearns (1875 - 1965)

Overheard: Poems that do not rhyme . . . are written by lazy poets.

“It’s silly to suggest the writing of poetry as something ethereal, a sort of soul-crashing emotional experience that wrings you. I have no fancy ideas about poetry. It doesn’t come to you on the wings of a dove. It’s something you work hard at.” -Louise Bogan

“As things are, and as fundamentally they must always be, poetry is not a career, but a mug’s game. No honest poet can ever feel quite sure of the permanent value of what he has written: He may have wasted his time and messed up his life for nothing.” -T. S. Eliot (Thomas Stearns Eliot (1888 - 1965))

“Our poets . . . spent too much of their lives inside rooms and classrooms when they should have been trudging up mountains, slogging through swamps, rowing down rivers.” -Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989): “Vox Clamantis in Deserto” (“A Voice Crying in the Wilderness”) (1989), chapter 5: ‘On Writing and Writers, Books and Art’

I think that I shall never see
     A poem lovely as a tree.
-Joyce Kilmer (1886 - 1918): “Trees” (1913)

Wilhelm: The poet Robert Burns wrote, “To a Field Mouse.”
Wilbert: And did he get an answer?

“A backward poet writes inverse.” -Author Unknown

Deborah: How do poets say hello?
Barbara: Hey, haven’t we metaphor?

Jane: How do poets say goodbye?
Jean: “I’d like to linger a little longer but it’s getting alliter-late.”

The poet and ornithologist
Differ in ways absurd.
     One writes - “The bird is on the wing”;
     The other answers - “No such thing!
The wing is on the bird.”
-Author Unknown

“If you cannot be a poet, be the poem.” -David Carradine (born John Arthur Carradine (1936 - 2009))

When I can look Life in the eyes,
     Grown calm and very coldly wise,
Life will have given me the Truth,
     And taken in exchange - my youth.
-Sara Teasdale (Sara Teasdale Filsinger, born Sara Trevor Teasdale (1884 - 1933))

How are poems made? Poems seldom pop out of people’s heads in a complete and finished form. Usually a subject or a short rhyme occurs to someone, and the person puts it in writing, then adds more lines, and then changes the words and punctuation many times before a poem begins to take form. Often poems are set aside for a time, and then the poet returns to them, reads them, and makes more changes. What eventually happens is one of three things: 1. the poet says to him or herself that a poem is good enough, though perhaps not perfect, and leaves it as is; 2. the poet gives up and discards the poem; 3. the poet finds the poem to be perfect and proudly proclaims it to the entire world or to a somewhat smaller audience.

I Saw a Man Pursuing the Horizon

I saw a man pursuing the horizon;
Round and round they sped.
I was disturbed at this;
I accosted the man.
“It is futile,” I said,
“You can never -”
“You lie,” he cried,
And ran on.

by Stephen Crane (1871 - 1900)

“A poet is someone who is astonished by everything.” -Author Unknown

P

P’s a poetical bore
Who recites his own lines by the score.
     The ladies, poor dears,
     Are all moved to tears
And strong men are moved - to the door.

by Oliver Herford (1863 - 1935)

“Poetry is the best words in the best order.” -Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834)

Poetic Outlook. A University of North Carolina English instructor introduced to his class what he termed “one of the finest, most elegant lines of poetry in the English language.” He had duly recorded it in all of his notebooks as a constant reminder of its beauty. “Walk with light!” he quoted, and then repeated softly and blissfully to himself, “Walk with light . . . now isn’t that a wonderful thing to say to someone?” The class agreed, of course, and wished to know the author. “I suppose it’s anonymous,” said the instructor. “It’s written on a sign at the intersection of Franklin Street and Fourteenth Avenue.”

A ‘poet laureate’ is a person chosen to voice the sentiments of a group or organization, such as a government or a private club, in poetry.

“I would love to be the poet laureate of Coney Island.” -Thornton Wilder (Thornton Niven Wilder (1897 - 1975))

“There’s no money in poetry, but then there’s no poetry in money either.” -Robert Graves (Robert von Ranke Graves (1895 - 1985))

“If you want to write poetry you must earn a living some other way.” - T. S. Eliot (Thomas Stearns Eliot (1888 - 1965))

Lila: Why are poets poor?
Silas: Because rhyme does not pay.

“The courage of the poet is to keep ajar the door that leads into madness.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))

▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪

The Zigzag Boy and Girl

I know a little zigzag boy,
     Who goes this way and that;
He never knows just where he puts
     His coat or shoes or hat.

I know a little zigzag girl,
     Who flutters here and there;
She never knows just where to find
     Her brush to fix her hair.

If you are not a zigzag child,
     You’ll have no cause to say
That you forgot, for you will know
     Where things are put away.

by Author Unknown

▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪

Duncan: Why was John Keats always hounded by creditors?
Candace: Because he Ode so much.

“The three r’s of poetry are rhyme, rhythm, and reason. Leave out any one of them and you risk writing a mere garbled jumble of words.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

There are said to be no words in the English language that rhyme with month, orange, purple, and silver. Unless, of course, someone like you makes up new words.

Epigram from the French

Sir, I admit your gen’ral rule
     that every poet is a fool:
But you yourself may serve to show it
     that every fool is not a poet.

by Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744) (1732)

“Most people ignore most poetry because most poetry ignores most people.” -Adrian Mitchell: “Poems” (1964)

“The man is either mad, or he is making verses.” [translation to English]
“Aut insanit homo, aut versus facit.” [original Latin]
-Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)): “Satires,” II, 7, 117, as quoted in Kate Louise Roberts: “Hoyt’s New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations” (1922), page 607

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Some poems rhyme
Some poems have titles
Some poems have authors
And then there are ones like this one -
The nutty nonconformist poem.

“All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

“Poetry is the clear expression of mixed feelings.” -W. H. Auden (Wystan Hugh Auden (1907-1973))

Free verse: Verse that follows no particular form, meter, or rhyme scheme.

“I would as soon wright free verse as play tennis with the net down.” -Robert Frost (Robert Lee Frost (1874 - 1963))

“Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.” -Don Marquis (1878 - 1937)

And now for some nice, relaxing poetry to soothe your frazzled mind . . .

▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪

A Song of Thanks

It’s sensible that icicles
     Hang downward as they grow,
For I would hate to step on one
     That’s buried in the snow.

It’s really best that tides come in
     And then return to sea;
For if they kept on coming in,
     How wet we all would be.

I’ve often thought tomatoes are
     Much better red than blue,
A blue tomato is a food
     I’d certainly eschew.

It’s best of all that everyone’s
     So tolerant today
That I can write this sort of stuff
     And not get put away.

by William Cole

▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪

Abecedarius

A verse called an abecedarius
Begins every line with the various
     Consecutive letters.
     Demanding, these fetters
Encumber - it’s rarely hilarious.

by Author Unknown

“For me, poetry is an impish attempt to paint the color of the wind.” -Maxwell Bodenheim

▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪

I’m Nobody! Who Are You?

I’m nobody! Who are you?
     Are you nobody, too?
Then there’s a pair of us - don’t tell!
     They’d banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
     How public, like a frog,
To tell your name the livelong day,
     To an admiring bog!

by Emily Dickinson (1830 - 1886)

▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪

“Poets utter great and wise things which they do not themselves understand.” -Plato: “The Republic” (about 380 B.C.E.), book II, section 5

It matters not what you do -
     Make a nation or a shoe;
For he who does an honest thing
     In God’s pure sight is ranked a king.
-John Parnell

This is Make Fun Of Life! . . . everything’s better with a bit of poetry . . .

0 Comments

Haikus

1/7/2020

0 Comments

A snapshot of downtown Ukiah, Mendocino County, California, United States of America. The haiku was not invented here, but it is celebrated here . . . more about that later . . .

I hope you enjoy
Haiku as much as I do
And have fun all day

Yes, what you have just read is a haiku, as are the following.

I don’t have a clue -
How does one write a haiku?
It’s so confusing!

I’ll give it a try
So that perhaps by and by
A haiku will come from me

Haiku Facts
- Haiku is pronounced as ‘high-koo.’
- A haiku poem has 3 lines.
- Line 1 has 5 syllables.
- Line 2 has 7 syllables.
- Line 3 has 5 syllables.
- It is not necessary for a haiku poem to rhyme or have rhythm.
- Some haikus have titles and some have none.
- The goal of a haiku is to paint a picture in the mind of the reader.
- The haiku poetry form originated in Japan.

A carpenter’s son
Left the Woodworkers’ Union
Formed new splinter group
-Guy Ben-Moshe

Haikus were originally intended not as an end in themselves, but as a starting point to stimulate classroom discussion on a particular subject.

Pandas

The black and white bears
Sitting under leafy trees
Eating bamboo shoots

by Rebecca Schauer

Ukiah is haiku spelled backwards. It is a deliberate ‘anagram’ of the word for the form of poetry called ‘haiku.’ Anagrams are made by taking the letters in a word or phrase and rearranging them to spell another word or phrase. Ukiah is the name of a city where an annual haiku festival is held. It is an afternoon devoted to haiku poems. A program of music is followed by a presentation of certificates and awards for the winning haikus. Poets of all ages read their winning poems. A reception with refreshments follows, during which the audience has the opportunity to read through an exhibit of selected poems submitted to the festival. You can learn how to submit haikus online for the next annual Ukiah Haiku Festival at www.ukiahaiku.org. Good luck with your entries!

Ukiah

Blue sky, clouds, oak trees,
Sunshine almost every day . . .
This is Ukiah

by Author Unknown

The lemon pickers
And the orchard owners had
A bitter dispute
-Guy Ben-Moshe

Monster under bed -
Oh, please don’t eat me tonight
You’ll get tummy-ache
-David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Is “Haiku!” the sound made by a sneezing poet?

After weeks of watching the roof leak
I fixed it tonight
by moving a single board
-Gary Snyder

While the subject of many haikus is nature, as for example, trees, flowers, or breezes, other kinds of subjects can be used. A senryu (pronounced sen-ree-yoo), also known as a ‘human haiku,’ is a haiku poem that has as its subject human nature rather than the natural world. Like a haiku, it is composed of three lines of five, seven, and five syllables.

The laundry piles up.
I cannot keep up with it.
Will someone please help me?
-Mrs. Cline

Once beyond the gate
I too am a traveler
In the autumn twilight.
-Buson

Haikus are easy,
But sometimes they don’t make sense:
Refrigerator!
-Author Unknown

Writer of haikus
Will never be said of me
I will dig ditches
-David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Now how about you -
Please won’t you write a haiku?
It’s more fun than bugs!

Some of the haikus shown in this article tend to be a little on the silly side, perhaps because that is the side of life we often find ourselves on here at Make Fun Of Life! Most haikus, however, are about nature and other serious subjects. Still, creating silly haikus could be a good beginning point, until you have mastered the art of haiku writing. Whatever is begun as play, and is later taken up as a serious endeavor without ever completely losing the element of play, has a good chance of being wildly successful.

This haiku poem
Is written about a sneeze -
And ends with, “Atchoo!”
-David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

And Now One Last Haiku

Please share your haikus
With us - we’d love to read them,
And get to know you!

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

This is MFOL! . . . life is like a bird that needs two wings to fly, one serious and one silly . . . how many one-winged birds fly in the sky?

0 Comments

Best Wishes and Toasts

1/4/2020

0 Comments

“I see only blue skies and green lights for you.” -Author Unknown

“May you never have to eat your hat.” -Author Unknown

Happy

Happy have we met,
     Happy have we been,
Happy may we part,
     And happy meet again.

by Author Unknown

“May every sunrise bring you hope, and may every sunset bring you peace.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

I Wish Thee

I wish thee health,
     I wish thee wealth,
I wish thee gold in store,
     I wish thee Heaven upon Earth -
What could I wish thee more?
     May your troubles be little ones.

by Author Unknown

“May your every good wish come true.” -Author Unknown

Imagine you are sending a congratulatory email, posting a message on someone’s page on a social networking website, making a dinner party or wedding toast, creating a home-made greeting card, calling a relative or business associate, signing a school yearbook . . . what would you write or say? In this ‘Best Wishes and Toasts’ topic on ‘MFOL!’ you will find examples.

If love were a raindrop,
    I would send you a shower.
If hope were a minute,
    I would send you an hour.
If happiness were a leaf,
    I would send you a tree.
If you need a friend,
    you will always have me!
-Author Unknown

“May you have a long, fulfilling life.” -Author Unknown

A Toast to Us

A toast to us, my good round friends,
     To bless the things we eat;
For it has been full many a year
     Since we have seen our feet.
Yet who would lose a precious pound
     By trading sweets for sours?
It takes a mighty girth indeed
     To hold such hearts as ours.

by Wallace Irwin (1875 - 1959)

“May your strengths be greater than your weaknesses.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Be well.

“Live long and prosper.” -Spock (fictional character portrayed by actor Leonard Nimoy (1931 - 2015)): “Star Trek,” season 2, episode 1: “Amok Time” (1968); based on the “Star Trek” series created by Eugene Wesley ‘Gene’ Roddenbery (1921 - 1991)

Here’s to In-Laws

Here’s to bride and mother-in-law,
Here’s to groom and father-in-law,
Here’s to sister and brother-in-law,
Here’s to friends and friends-in-law,
May none of them need an attorney-at-law.

by Author Unknown

“May your life be as smooth as butter.” -Author Unknown

“I wish you all very good lives.” -Plutarch (C.E. 46 - C.E. 120)

The Arithmetic of Life

May your life be like arithmetic:
Joys added,
Sorrows subtracted,
Friends multiplied,
Love un-divided,
Blessings to infinity.

by Author Unknown

“May you find a moment of joy in each day to come!” -Author Unknown

“May all of your horrible beginnings have wonderful endings.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

A Thanksgiving Day Dinner Toast

Here’s to the day when first
     The Yankees acknowledged
Heaven’s good gifts
     With Thank’ees.

by Author Unknown

“May your today be better than your yesterday, but not as good as your tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“To your health!” [translation to English]
Sláinte! [original Irish Gaelic]
-Author Unknown

“May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you His favor and give you His peace.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Book of Numbers,’ chapter 6, verse 26

Take care!

“Long life to you.” [translation to English]
“Fad saol agat.” [original Irish Gaelic]
-Author Unknown

Question: What is big and gray, and carries flowers to cheer you up when you do not feel well?
Answer: A Get-Well-Ephant!

“Here’s to the two great American birds! May you always have one on your table and the other in your pocket - the turkey and the eagle.” -Author Unknown

“May you fear no outer darkness, and know no lack of inner light.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“May God’s love be with you.” -Author Unknown

“May your life be so full of good people and good things that you never have to say goodbye to more than one of them at a time, so that no part of your life may ever be empty.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Blessed be.

“May the warmth of our affections survive the frosts of age.” -Author Unknown

“May your days be many and may you succeed in life beyond your greatest expectations!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●

Get Well Soon!

I’m in a 10der mood 2day
     & feel poetic, 2;
4 fun I’ll just - off a line
     & send it off 2U.

I’m sorry you’ve been 6 o long;
     Don’t B disconsol8;
But bear your ills with 42de,
     & they won’t seem so gr8.

by Author Unknown

●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●

“Love many, trust a few, always paddle your own canoe!” -Author Unknown

“Hail wedded love, mysterious law, true source of human happiness.” -John Milton (1608 - 1674)

An Irish Blessing

May flowers always line your path
     and sunshine light your day.
May songbirds serenade you
    every step along the way.
May a rainbow run beside you
    in a sky that’s always blue.
And may happiness fill your heart
    each day your whole life through.

by Author Unknown

“May the rest of your life be the best of your life!” -Author Unknown

Graduation

I do not know beneath what sky
     Nor on what seas shall be thy fate;
I only know it shall be high,
     I only know it shall be great.

by Author Unknown

“I wish you well in your endeavors.” -Author Unknown

“May we be alive at this time next year!” [translation to English]
“Go mbeire muid beo ar an am seo aris!” [original Irish Gaelic]
-Author Unknown

●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●

I Wish You All the Happiness

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I hope your dreams will all come true
I hope you find what works for you
I hope you live and never die
I hope you spread your wings and fly

And if you ever need a friend
I’ll be right here ’round the bend
’Cause I got my eyes on you
And all the crazy things you do

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I hope you finally find your truth
I hope you hold onto your youth
I hope you pass your days with a smile
I hope you travel many miles

I hope you never feel the hurt
Of all the pain that’s buried in the dirt
I hope you always find the time
To be with those who ease your mind

And if you ever need a friend
I’ll be with you ’til the end
’Cause I got my eyes on you
And all the beauty inside you

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

by Calvin Becker

●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●

We wish all good things for you.

“May the most you wish for be the least you get!” -Jay O’Brian

Ships

There are strong ships
     And there are fast ships,
Among ships that sail the sea -
     But the best ships
Are friendships.
     So here’s to you,
And here’s to me,
     Good friends may we always be.

by Author Unknown

Have a beautiful life.

“We never eat [to] anybody’s health, always drink [to] it. Why should we not stand up now and then and eat a tart to somebody’s success?” -Jerome K. Jerome (Jerome Klapka Jerome (1859 - 1927)): “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow: A Book for an Idle Holiday” (1892)

In your life, may everything be good.

May the blessings of each day
Be the blessings you need most.
-Author Unknown

May good things come your way!

“May the hinges of friendship never rust, or the wings of love lose a feather.” -Edward Bannerman Ramsey (1793 - 1872): “Reminiscences of Scottish Life: A Toast”

Overheard: I hope you always find always find a reason to smile!

This is MFOL! . . . may we all keep thinking happy thoughts until the Universe becomes positively radiant with them . . . wow, look at how sparkly it is!

0 Comments

Attitudes and Expectations

1/1/2020

0 Comments

“You ‘can do’ with a ‘can do’ attitude!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Be someone who finds something good in each day, and then share it with others.” -Author Unknown

“A great attitude precedes a great performance.” -Author Unknown

A Bad Attitude

A boy who was terribly rude
Found his trouble: a bad attitude.
He pulled thorns from its side,
Smoothed its raw, ruffled hide,
Cut its claws, and his life was renewed.

by Author Unknown

“Change your attitude and change your life.” -Ann Bench

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.” -Herm Albright (1876 - 1944): as attributed in “Reader’s Digest” (1995)

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” -Winston Churchill (Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill (1874 - 1965))

“Clear your mind of can’t.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“In one minute you can change your attitude and in that minute you can change your entire day.” -Spencer Johnson

“The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for the day.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 18 October 1934))

“It’s hard to have a good day with a bad attitude or a bad day with a good attitude.” -Joe Moore

“Train your mind to see something good in everything.” -Author Unknown

“A bad attitude is like a flat tire; you can’t go anywhere without changing it.” -Author Unknown

“There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.” -W. Clement Stone (William Clement Stone (1902 - 2002))

“It’s so hard when I have to, and so easy when I want to.” -Annie Gottlier

“‘You become what you think about’ is the foundation of your actions and reactions. What are your thoughts? Positive all the time? How are you guiding them?” -Jeffrey Gitomer (born 1946)

“Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“The most significant change in a person’s life is a change of attitude. Right attitudes produce right actions.” -William J. Johnson

“Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you.” -Author Unknown

“Your attitude is an outward expression of an inward feeling.” -Author Unknown

“A propensity to hope and joy is real riches; one to fear and sorrow, real poverty.” -David Hume (1711 - 1776): “Essays Moral, Political, and Literary” (1875), volume 1, ‘The Sceptic’ (about 1750)

“We tend to live up to our expectations.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“A Great Attitude becomes a great day which becomes a great month which becomes a great year which becomes a great life.” -Mandy Hale

“A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)): “Faust” (1808)

“Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.” -Michael McGriffy

“Attitudes are contagious - is yours worth catching?” -Author Unknown

“Refuse to criticize, condemn, or complain. Instead, think and talk only about the things you really want.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure. The way you think about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. You are overcome by the fact because you think you are.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.” -Author Unknown

“Positive attitudes create a chain reaction of positive thoughts.” -Author Unknown

“The predominant thought or the mental attitude is the magnet, and the law is that like attracts like. Consequently, the mental attitude will invariably attract such conditions as to correspond to its nature.” -Charles Haanel

“Declarations are powerful. If you declare that you are going to be an optimistic, upbeat person at all times, an interesting phenomenon takes place. When people expect you to be positive, you don’t want to let them down. You live your intentions every day - every minute.” -Neil Eskelin

“What is important to you is not so much the circumstances of your life as your attitude toward them.” -Ernest C. Wilson

“The world is a looking-glass and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face. Frown at it and it will in turn look sourly upon you; laugh at it and with it, and it is a jolly, kind companion.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863)

"If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive to give your best effort, eventually you will overcome your immediate problems and find you are ready for greater challenges.” -Pat Riley

“A bad attitude is merely a reflection of how you feel about yourself.” -David Roppo

“Everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” -Viktor Frankl (Viktor E. Frankl (1905 - 1997)

“Surely the world we live in is but the world that lives in us.” -Daisy Bates

“For success, attitude is equally as important as ability.” -Harry F. Banks

“Just because you can’t be a shining star is no reason you have to be a dark cloud.” -Author Unknown

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Formula for Living Successfully - It is easier than you might think!

Assign each letter of the alphabet a number.
A = 1, B = 2, C = 3, and so forth all the way to Z = 26.

Next, we formulate equations as follows.
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%.
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%.
L+U+C+K = 12+21+3+11 = 47%.

You will notice that none of the above add up to 100%.

So, what does make 100%?

Is it BEING PERFECT? No!
Is it EDUCATION? No!
Is it FATE? No!
Is it GENETICS? No!
Is it MONEY? No!
Is it OTHER PEOPLE? No!

Our ‘ATTITUDE’ in life is what makes for success, as in A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%.

To refresh, ‘Attitude matters 100% in life.’ Now wasn’t that fun?

Every problem or condition has a solution, only if we are willing to change our ‘ATTITUDE.’

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“We attract what we habitually expect; we become what we deeply believe.” -William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994)

“This is the precept by which I have lived: Prepare for the worst; expect the best; and take what comes.” -Hannah Arendt (Johanna ‘Hannah’ Arendt (1906 - 1975))

“It is the nature of man to rise to greatness if greatness is expected of him.” -John Steinbeck (1902 - 1968)

“Every year of my life I grow more convinced that it is wisest and best to fix our attention on the beautiful and the good, and dwell as little as possible on the evil and the false.” -Richard Cecil

“Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.” -Dennis Wholey

“Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold.” -Maurice Setter

“There are in life as many aspects as attitudes towards it; and aspects change with attitudes . . . Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be different. Life would undergo a change of appearance because we ourselves had undergone a change in attitude.” -Katherine Mansfield (1888 - 1923)

“The word ‘lose’ simply stands for Lack Of Success Expectancy.” -Doug Firebaugh (born 1968)

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on Earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” -Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)

“There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.” -Terence (Publius Terentius Afer (185 B.C.E. - 159 B.C.E.))

“Attitude, more than aptitude, will determine your altitude in life.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“High expectations are the key to everything.” -Sam Walton (Samuel Moore ‘Sam’ Walton (1918 - 1992))

“Attitude is greatly shaped by influence and association.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Be thine own palace, or the world’s thy jail.” -John Donne (1572 - 1631)

“It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“We don’t see things as they are, but as we are ourselves.” -Henry M. Tomlinson (1873 - 1958): “Out of Soundings” (1931), chapter 10

“Make it a practice to judge persons and things in the most favorable light at all times and under all circumstances.” -Vincent de Paul (1581 - 1660)

“Take charge of your attitude. Don’t let someone choose it for you.” -Author Unknown

“Remember, a good attitude produces good results, a fair attitude fair results, a poor attitude poor results. We each shape our own life, and the shape of it is determined largely by our attitude.” -M. Russell Ballard: ‘Providing for Our Needs,’ as published in “Ensign” (May 1981), page 85

“The quality of our expectations determines the quality of our actions.” -André Godin

“It’s all in the way you look at things.” -Norton Juster (born 1929)

“A healthy attitude is contagious but don’t wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.” -Author Unknown

“The world can change in an instant. So can the way you choose to see it. Why not choose to see the good in yourself and others?” -Bob Perks

“Your attitude is either the lock on, or the key to the door of success.” -Denis Waitley

“Attitudes are nothing more than habits of thoughts, and habits can be acquired. An action repeated becomes an attitude realized.” -Paul Myer

“Live up to the highest you know in all things.” -Mildred Mann (1904 - 1971)

“Your mental attitude is something you can control outright and you must use self-discipline until you create a positive mental attitude - your mental attitude attracts to you everything that makes you what you are.” -Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970)

“What we see depends mainly on what we look for.” -John Lubbock (1834 - 1913)

“I’ve always tried to go a step past wherever people expected me to end up.” -Beverly Sills (1929 - 2007)

“Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.” -Raymond Chandler (1888 - 1959)

“The most unknown, unused and unrecognized tool of the human mind, is the recognition that attitude is always a choice.” -Mark Horton

“I am responsible for my attitude. My attitude determines my actions.” -Author Unknown

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” -William James (1842 - 1910): as attributed in Norman Vincent Peale: “The Power of Positive Thinking” (1952)

“A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights in our worlds; it seems to magically connect us to all sorts of serendipitous opportunities that were somehow absent before we changed.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

This is MFOL! . . . a whole new ‘fun’ attitude . . .

0 Comments

Inquisitiveness and Curiosity

12/28/2019

0 Comments

“Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness.” -Bryant McGill (born 1969)

“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” -Carl Edward Sagan (1934 - 1996)

“I would rather live in a world where life is surrounded by mystery, than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969): “Riverside Sermons”

Inquisitive Lad

There once was a boy of Bagdad,
An inquisitive sort of a lad.
He said, “I will see
If a sting has a bee.”
And he very soon found that it had!

by Author Unknown

“A good scientist is a person in whom the childhood quality of perennial curiosity lingers on. Once he gets an answer, he has other questions.” -Frederick Seitz (1911 - 2008)

Patrice: You’re a real curiosity - did you know that?
Shaun: Well, thank you, though I doubt if you shall ever solve me.

“The Quest Quotient has always interested me more than the Intelligence Quotient.” -Eugene S. Wilson (Eugene S. ‘Bill’ Wilson (1905 - 1981)): as quoted in “Reader’s Digest” (April 1968)

“Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.” -James Stephens

“Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton asked why.” -Bernard Baruch (1870 - 1965)

“Be curious always! For knowledge will not acquire you; you must acquire it.” -Sudie Back (Sudie E. Back)

“Leave no stone unturned.” -Euripides (484 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says: ‘Leave no stone unturned.’” -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)

“The true delight is in the finding out rather than in the knowing.” -Isaac Asimov (1919 - 1992)

“Look and you will find it - what is unsought will go undetected.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“Curiosity is a willing, a proud, an eager confession of ignorance.” -S. Leonard Rubinstein (Samuel Leonard Rubinstein (1922 - 2013)): “Writing: A Habit of Mind” (1972)

“Be aware of wonder. And then remember the, “Dick and Jane,” books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - look.” -Robert Fulghum (Robert Lee Fulghum (born 1937))

“Not to know is bad; not to wish to know is worse.” -Author Unknown

“Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (12 March 1751

“I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“A generous and elevated mind is distinguished by nothing more certainly than an eminent degree of curiosity.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“There are two sorts of curiosity - the momentary and the permanent. The momentary is concerned with the odd appearance on the surface of things. The permanent is attracted by the amazing and consecutive life that flows on beneath the surface of things.” -Robert Lynd (Robert Wilson Lynd (1879 - 1949))

“Curiosity is the one thing invincible in nature.” -Freya Stark (Freya Madeline Stark (1893 - 1993))

“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.” -Author Unknown

“The greatest virtue of man is perhaps curiosity.” -Anatole France (pseudonym of Jacques Anatole François Thibault (1844 - 1924))

“Curiosity killed the cat.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in the “Los Angeles Times” (22 August 1901) newspaper

Overheard: ‘Curiosity killed the cat’ is a common saying, but until someone shows me the record of the incident, I shall be disinclined to believe it.

“The place where you lose the trail is not necessarily the place where it ends.” -Tom Brown, Junior

Amy: Who crossed the road and left everyone wanting an explanation?
Eva: The chicken.

“The first and simplest emotion which we discover in the human mind, is curiosity.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

“Satisfaction of one’s curiosity is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life.” - Linus Pauling (1901 - 1994)

“Things that people learn purely out of curiosity can have a revolutionary effect on human affairs.” -Frederick Seitz (1911 - 2008): in an interview (3 September 1997) for the George C. Marshall Institute

A ‘clue’ originally meant a ball of thread . . . hence, one ‘unravels’ the clues of a mystery.

“Isn’t it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive - it’s such an interesting world. It wouldn’t be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There’d be no scope for imagination then, would there?” -L. M. Montgomery (Lucy Maud Montgomery (1874 - 1942)): “Anne of Green Gables” (June 1908), Chapter 2; line spoken by fictional character Anne

“‘Curiouser and curiouser!’ cried Alice.” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Alice in Wonderland” (1865), Chapter II

This is MFOL! . . . the website for anyone who has ever been told that he or she is a real curiosity . . . which is what we happily are . . .

0 Comments

Gratitude and Thankfulness

12/27/2019

0 Comments

“There is always something to be thankful for!” -Author Unknown

“Live in gratitude. When you are thankful for what you have, you are always rewarded with more.” -Author Unknown

“Thank you, thank you very much!” -Elvis Presley (Elvis Aron Presley (1935 - 1977))

“The more you recognize and express gratitude for the things you have, the more things you will have to express gratitude for.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“It is a sign of mediocrity when you demonstrate gratitude with moderation.” -Roberto Benigni (Roberto Remigio Benigni (born 1952))

“No one who achieves success does so without the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude.” -Alfred North Whitehead (1861 - 1947)

“Appreciation can make a day - even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” -Margaret Cousins (Margaret Elizabeth Cousins (1878 - 1954))

A: Thank you very much.
B: You’re welcome very much!

“You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.” -Sarah Ban Breathnach (born 1947): “Simple Abundance” (1995)

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank, who?
You’re welcome!

“People who live the most fulfilling lives are the ones who are always rejoicing at what they have.” -Richard Carlson (1961 - 2006)

The Thank You Song

For soap and tissues
   And useful things
For jungle gyms
     And slides and swings
For music and stories
     And pictures gay
We sing our thank you song today
     For the blue of the sky
For the gold of the Sun
     For mothers and fathers
And friends and fun
     For bulbs in the soil
And fishes that play
     We sing our thank you song today.

by Author Unknown

“What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it - would you be likely to give them another? Life is the same way. In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have.” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955))

“Gratitude makes everything turn into a gift.” -Author Unknown

“How happy a person is depends upon the depth of his gratitude.” -John Miller (1923 - 1961): as quoted in Edythe Draper: “Draper’s Book of Quotations for the Christian World” (1992), Entry 5249

“The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.” -William Blake (1757 - 1827)

“To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.” -Johannes A. Gaertner (Johannes Alexander Gaertner (1912 - 1996))

“Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you.” -Eileen Caddy (1917 - 2006)

“Gratitude is a fruit of great cultivation. You do not find it among gross people.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“Say thank you to everyone you meet for everything they do for you.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life.” -Christiane Northrup (born 1949)

“Gratitude is the memory of the heart.” -Jean-Baptiste Massieu (1772 - 1846)

“Many people who order their lives rightly in all other ways, are kept in poverty by their lack of gratitude.” -Wallace D. Wattles (Wallace Delois Wattles (1860 - 1911))

Overheard in a coffee shop: “Thanks a Latte.”

“My life isn’t perfect but I am thankful for everything I have.” -Author Unknown

“Gratitude is a sign of maturity . . . Where there is appreciation, there is also courtesy and concern for the rights and property of others.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Gratitude in advance is the most powerful creative force in the Universe.” -Neale Donald Walsch (born 1943)

“A person who feels appreciated will always do more than is expected.” -Author Unknown

“In everything give thanks.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘First Thessalonians,’ chapter 5, verse 18

“My husband gave a battery of intelligence and personality tests to a job applicant. One question was, ‘If you were given a million dollars, what would be the first thing you would buy?’ The young man replied, ‘A thank-you card.’” -Beverly Weaver

“Outcomes rarely turn on grand gestures or the art of the deal, but on whether you’ve sent someone a thank-you note.” -Bernie Brillstein and David Rensin: “The Little Stuff Matters Most” (2004)

“Persons thankful for little things are certain to be the ones with much to be thankful for.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))

“Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“An ungrateful man is like a hog under a tree eating acorns, but never looking up to see where they come from.” -Timothy Dexter

“Happiness is itself a kind of gratitude.” -Joseph Wood Krutch (1893 - 1970)

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” -Melody Beattie (Melody Lynn Beattie (born 1948))

“No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake up each day and be thankful for life. Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive.” -Author Unknown

“‘Merry’ is a word for Christmas . . . ‘happy’ is a word for New Year’s . . . ‘thanks’ is a word for all year long.” -Author Unknown

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“Take time today to appreciate someone who does something you take for granted.” -Author Unknown

“Gratitude is like a magnet; the more grateful you are, the more you will receive to be grateful for.” -Iyanla Vanzant (born 1953 as Rhonda Eva Harris)

“A joyful and pleasant thing it is to be thankful.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “Book of Common Prayer” (1662), ‘Psalm 147,’ verse 16

“One act of thanksgiving made when things go wrong is worth a thousand when things go well.” -Author Unknown

“It is not happy people who are thankful, but thankful people who are happy.” -Author Unknown

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say ‘thank you?’” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?” -Author Unknown

“I woke up. I have clothes to wear. I have running water. I have food to eat. Life is good. I am thankful.” -Author Unknown

“Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.” -John Milton (1608 - 1674)

A grateful heart a garden is,
     Where there is always room
For every lovely God-like grace,
      To come to perfect bloom.
-Author Unknown: as quoted in the “Christian Science Hymnal,” #3

“Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.” -Author Unknown

In our daily lives, we must see
That it is not happiness that makes us grateful,
But the gratefulness that makes us happy.
-Albert Clarke

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” -Cicero (Marcus Tullius Cicero, also known as Tully (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.))

“The more you thank life, the more life gives you to be thankful for.” -Author Unknown

“Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty.” -Author Unknown

“Gratitude is Heaven itself.” -William Blake (1757 - 1827): as quoted in Alexander Gilchrist: “Life of William Blake” (1863), ‘1803-1804,’ page 200

“Be thankful for the smallest blessing, and you will deserve to receive greater. Value the least gifts no less than the greatest, and simple graces as special favors. If you remember the dignity of the Giver, no gift will seem small or mean, for nothing can be valueless that is given by the most high God.” -Thomas à Kempis (1380 - 1471)

Not for the mighty world, O Lord, tonight,
     Nations and kingdoms in their fearful might -
Let me be glad the kettle gently sings,
     Let me be grateful for little things.
-Edna Jaques (1891 - 1978)

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Gratitude is the most exquisite form of courtesy.” -Jacques Maritain (1882 - 1973)

“Upon waking, let your first thought be, ‘Thank you.’” -Author Unknown

“Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it.” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955))

“Someone else is praying for the things you take for granted. Be thankful.” -Author Unknown

“If we appreciate what we have, it becomes more; if we belittle what we have, it becomes less.” -Author Unknown

“The greatest thing is to give thanks for everything. He who has learned this knows what it means to live. He has penetrated the whole mystery of life: Giving thanks for everything.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

“How do you say, ‘thank you,’ for sunshine or health . . . for clear days or gentle rains . . . for happiness, joy, or love? You say it by sharing what you have. You say it by making the world a better place in which to live.” -Thomas D. Willhite (1940 - 1983)

“Jesus, please teach me to appreciate what I have before time forces me to appreciate what I had.” -Susan L. Lenzkes

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more in life there will be to praise and celebrate.” -Author Unknown

“Gratitude takes three forms; a feeling in the heart, an expression in words, and giving in return.” -Author Unknown

“In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906 - 1945)

“He who can give thanks for little will always find he has enough.” -Author Unknown

“The enlightened give thanks for what most people take for granted . . . As you begin to be grateful for what most people take for granted, the vibration of gratitude makes you more receptive to good in your life.” -Michael Bernard Beckwith

“Ingratitude is one of our great sins.” -Ezra Taft Benson (1899 - 1994): as quoted in “Ensign” (May 1977), page 33

“No better words than ‘thank you’ have yet been discovered to express the sincere gratitude of one’s heart; when the two words are sincerely spoken.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“Gratitude is a duty which ought to be paid, but which none have a right to expect.” -Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712 - 1778)

“I wish that people would take the time to show people that they are important in their lives either at work or at home. Too many times people take others for granted and I think that needs to change. People are so much nicer and willing to help you if you use those two little words that mean so much . . . Thank You!” -Gina Gillespie

“Gratitude is the best attitude.” -Author Unknown

“Never forget those who helped you along the way.” -Author Unknown

“If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily.” -Gerald Good

Overheard: Always say, “Thank you.”

This is MFOL! . . . thank you for including us in your day . . . much more fun and learning follows just below . . .

0 Comments

Poverty and Prosperity

12/24/2019

0 Comments

Alas! old man, we’re wealthy now, it’s sad beyond a doubt;
     We cannot dodge prosperity, success has found us out.
Your eye is very dull and drear, my brow is creased with care,
     We realize how hard it is to be a millionaire.
-Robert W. Service (Robert William Service (1874 - 1958)): “Complete Poetical Works of Robert W. Service” (1960), ‘The Joy of Being Poor,’ part 3, lines 1 through 4

“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.” -W. C. Fields (pseudonym of William Claude Dukenfield (1880 - 1946))

The Poor

Speak gently, kindly, to the poor;
     Let no harsh term be heard;
They have enough they must endure
     Without an unkind word.

by David Bates

“Poverty is an anomaly to rich people; it is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell.” -Walter Bagehot (1826 - 1877)

Money is honey, my little sonny,
     And a rich man’s joke is always funny.
-Thomas Edward Brown (1830 - 1897)

Overheard: There are advantages to owning no furniture. For example, you can’t fall out of bed if you sleep on the floor.

“There is a science of getting rich, and it is an exact science, like algebra or arithmetic. There are certain laws which govern the process of acquiring riches, and once these laws are learned and obeyed by anyone, that person will get rich with mathematical certainty.” -Wallace D. Wattles (Wallace Delois Wattles (1860 - 1911))

“The best thing you can do for the poor is not to be one of them.” -Frederick Eikerenkoetter

“Whereas it has long been known and declared that the poor have no right to the property of the rich, I wish it also to be known and declared that the rich have no right to the property of the poor.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“If you cannot be satisfied with what you have, you must learn to be satisfied with what you haven’t.” -Caroline Rush: “Further Tales of Mr. Pengachoosa” (1967)

“Upper crust of society: A lot of crumbs held together by dough.” -Author Unknown

“I want there to be no peasant in my kingdom so poor that he cannot have a chicken in his pot every Sunday.” -Henry IV

“The well-fed does not understand the lean.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb

“If living conditions don’t stop improving in this country, we’re going to run out of humble beginnings for our great men.” -Russell P. Askue

“There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the Summertime and the poor get it in the Winter.” -Bat Masterson (William B. ‘Bat’ Masterson)

“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” -Virginia Woolf (Adeline Virginia ‘Virginia’ Woolf (1882 - 1941)): “A Room of One’s Own” (1929)

There’s many a thing which they
Whose coats are tattered never dare to say.
-Juvenal (Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis (about C.E. 55 - C.E. 130))

“Human prosperity never rests but always craves more, till blown up with pride, it totters and falls. From the opulent mansions pointed at by all passers-by none warns it away, none cries, ‘Let no more riches enter!’” -Aeschylus (about 525 B.C.E. - about 456 B.C.E.)

“The most inconvenient feature about poverty is that one is apt to get used to it.” -Author Unknown

Your country clubs, the cars, the boats -
Your assets may be ample,
But the best inheritance
You can leave your kids
Is to be a good example.
-Barry Spilchuk

“The story of his youth was a series of bitternesses, as is the case with almost all distinguished men. Poverty sits by their cradle, and keeps watch over them till they have grown up; and this lean nurse remains their true companion through life.” -Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856)

“The poor are rightfully the property of the rich, because the rich made them so.” -Author Unknown

“You can’t get rid of poverty by giving people money.” -P. J. O’Rourke (Patrick Jake O’Rourke (born 1947))

“For many men, the acquisition of wealth does not end their troubles, it only changes them.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.” -Willem de Kooning

“It is true that you cannot take it with you, but folks ought to remember that how you got it may determine where you go.” -Author Unknown

“The poor have very few hours in which to enjoy themselves; they must take their pleasure raw; they haven’t the time to cook it.” -W. B. Yeats (William Butler Yeats (1865 - 1939)): “Where There Is Nothing” (1903)

“Being in poverty is like being a crab in a bucket full of crabs. Whenever a crab tries to crawl out of the bucket to freedom, the other crabs grab onto it and pull it back down into the bucket. It is a strange and evil thing: Not only do the poor adamantly refuse to give up the destructive habits that keep them poor, but they also fight viciously to keep themselves and everyone around them forever poor.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“No man becomes rich unless he enriches others.” -Andrew Carnegie (1835 - 1919)

Peniaphobia is a persistent fear of poverty. Plutophobia is a persistent fear of wealth. Perhaps the solution would be to position oneself comfortably between the two, in the place called ‘the middle class.’

“Anyone who has ever struggled with poverty knows how extremely expensive it is to be poor.” -James Baldwin (1924 - 1987): “Nobody Knows My Name” (1961)

“Prosperity: Something that labor creates and for which politicians get all the credit.” -Author Unknown

“It is the weariness of the poor that keeps the rich in power.” -Author Unknown

“If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money cannot buy.” -Author Unknown

“When a man tells you he got rich through hard work, ask him, ‘Whose?’” - Don Marquis (Donald Robert Perry ‘Don’ Marquis (1878 - 1937))

“No matter how little money or how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.” -Louis Sabin

“When prosperity comes, do not use all of it.” -Confucius (also known as K’ung Fu-tzu or K’ung Tzu or K’ung Fu-tse or K’ung Ch’iu (about 551 B.C.E. - about 479 B.C.E.))

“Fortune is ever seen accompanying industry.” -Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774)

Mack: I started out in life with just a penny in my pocket.
Jack: I started out in life without even a pocket.

“There is only one class in the community that thinks more about money than the rich, and that is the poor. The poor can think of nothing else.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

Overheard: Forget about being a millionaire - I just want to be a hundredaire!

“Poverty is feeling poor.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“The philosophy of the rich and the poor is this: The rich invest their money and spend what is left. The poor spend their money and invest what is left.” -Robert T. Kiyosaki (Robert Toru Kiyosaki (born 1947))

“Gabe was so poor that all he had to wear as a boy were hand-me-downs. The real shame was that he had five older sisters and no brothers.” -Author Unknown

“Appreciation of beauty by the poor is an infringement upon the exclusive rights of the rich.” -Author Unknown

You Might Be Poor If . . .
- The last time you bought anything new was . . . it has been so long that you cannot remember with certainty.
- Savings sounds like a great idea and you hope to have some someday.
- You cannot remember when times were not hard and money was not scarce.
- You have only enough to survive.
- You avoid certain places and people or hang your head in shame in their presence.
- You feel like the gulf between poverty and prosperity cannot be bridged.

“Come away; poverty’s catching.” -Aphra Behn (1640 - 1689)

Seldom do people discern
Eloquence under a threadbare cloak.
-Juvenal (Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis (about C.E. 55 - C.E. 130))

“The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least.” -Author Unknown

“It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them.” -Burton Hillis (pseudonym of William Edward ‘Bill’ Vaughan (1915 - 1977))

“Love and business and family and religion and art and patriotism are nothing but shadows of words when a man’s starving.” -O. Henry (William Sydney Porter (1862 - 1910)): “Heart of the West” (1907)

“For every talent that poverty has stimulated it has blighted a hundred.” -John W. Gardner (1912 - 2002)

“The rich are very clever; they have even figured out ways to make money off other people’s poverty.” -Author Unknown

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people He gave it to.” -Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)

“The poor man is not he who is without a cent, but he who is without a dream.” -Harry Kemp

“No one can earn a million dollars honestly.” -William Jennings Bryan (1860 - 1925)

“Let him who expects one class of society to prosper in the highest degree while the other is in distress try whether one side of his face can smile while the other is pinched.” -Thomas Fuller (1608 - 1661)

“A man may live upon little, but he cannot live upon nothing.” -Author Unknown

“Resolve not to be poor: whatever you have, spend less. Poverty is a great enemy to human happiness; it certainly destroys liberty, and it makes some virtues impracticable, and others extremely difficult.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): letter (7 December 1782) to James Boswell

“The prosperous man is never sure that he is loved for himself.” -F. L. Lucas (Frank Laurence Lucas (1894 - 1967))

“He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.” -Bion (about 325 B.C.E. - about 255 B.C.E.)

“The more is given the less people will work for themselves, and the less they work the more their poverty will increase.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910)): “Help for the Starving” (1892)

“Both poverty and riches are the offspring of thought.” -Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970)

“Empty pockets never held anyone back. It’s only empty heads and empty hearts that do it.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993): “Enthusiasm Makes the Difference” (1985)

“Poor people have big television. Rich people have big library.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“The gust of wind that blows out the candle fans the fire; so, too, the winds of fortune that crush the poor man make the rich man prosper.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“He is rich whose income is more than his expenses; and he is poor whose expenses exceed his income.” -Jean de La Bruyère (1645 - 1696): as attributed in “The London Magazine” (December 1827)

Why are the needy only thought of around the holidays? Are they not just as needy throughout the rest of the year? The answer is that charities for the poor are run by rich people, and rich people need more money during the holidays to pay for all their celebrating, so they raise money during this time, keeping most of it for themselves and giving a pittance to the poor. After all, the rich are needier of joy than the poor are.

Rich man: One who is not ashamed to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper or to haggle over the price.

“I have been rich and I have been poor. I know which one I prefer.” -Michael Caine (Maurice Joseph Micklewhite (born 1933))

“Poverty: Something that money cannot buy.” -Author Unknown

“The real measure of our wealth is how much we’d be worth if we lost all our money.” -J. H. Jowett (John Henry Jowett)

“Poor people are rich in excuses, rich people are poor in excuses.” -Author Unknown

“The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.” -Teresa of Calcutta (1910 - 1997)

“It is easy enough for the poor to criticize the rich and for the rich to criticize the poor, but how often do we hear of the rich and the poor getting together, talking to each other, and getting to know each other well enough to be certain that the criticisms are valid?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.” -Author Unknown

“The strongest single factor in prosperity consciousness is self-esteem: believing you can do it, believing you deserve it, believing you will get it.” -Jerry Gillies

“Money polishes the poor, but with a very dull finish.” -Author Unknown

“The human race has had long experience and a fine tradition in surviving adversity. But we now face a task for which we have little experience, the task of surviving prosperity.” -Alan Gregg

“Poverty: A state of mind; also, a bad habit.” -Author Unknown

“Creation of wealth is almost a duty because of the widespread benefits that flow from it.” -John Gunn

Overheard: Some people are so poor that all they have is money.

“Rich: A word for describing someone who make use of the opportunities that poor people ignore or carelessly throw away.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“By desiring little, a poor man makes himself rich.” -Democritus (about 460 B.C.E. - 370 B.C.E.)

“I might have been born in a hovel but I am determined to travel with the wind and the stars.” -Jacqueline Cochran (born Bessie Lee Pittman (1906 - 1980))

“The wealthy man is not he who has money, but he who has the means to live in the luxurious state of early Spring.” -Anton Pavlovich Chekhov (1860 - 1904)

No matter what your income level or property value, determine to live richly . . . and always to Make Fun Of Life!

0 Comments

Rhyming Riddles

12/23/2019

0 Comments

Riddle:
Sometimes curly,
Sometimes flat,
I’m over your head
And under your hat -
What am I?
Answer:
I am your hair.

□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□

Said the Little Dog to the Tree

“Now, why,” remarked the little dog,
    in speaking to the tree,
“Could one say that the heart of you
    is like the tail of me?”

The tree gave the conundrum up.
    The pup, with wisdom stark,
Explained the matter, saying,
    “It is farthest from the bark.”

by Author Unknown

□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□

Riddle:
Each morning I appear,
To lie at your feet,
All day I follow,
No matter how fast you run,
Yet I nearly perish
In the midday sun.
What am I?
Answer:
I am your shadow.

Riddle: What is a plaything for a girl or a boy?
Answer: A toy.

Riddle:
Never resting, never still.
Moving silently from hill to hill.
I do not walk, run, or trot.
All is cool where I am not.
What am I?
Answer:
I am sunlight.

Riddle:
Can you decipher the following?
Yy u r, yy u b
I c u r yy 4 me!
Answer:
Too wise you are, too wise you be,
I see you are too wise for me!

Riddle: What is sweet to eat and rhymes with dandy?
Answer: Candy.

Riddle:
There’s not a kingdom on the Earth,
But I have traveled over and over,
And though I know not whence my birth,
Yet when I come, you know my roar.
I through the town do take my flight,
And through the fields and meadows green,
And whether it be day or night,
I neither am nor can be seen.
Who am I?
I am the wind.

Riddle:
Twelve pairs hanging high,
     Twelve knights riding by,
Each knight took a pear,
     And yet left a dozen there.
Let us consider this mystery,
     How could this ever be?
Answer:
We are twelve pairs of pears.

Riddle: What goes in an envelope and rhymes with better?
Answer: A letter.

Riddle:
Until I am measured
I am not known,
Yet how you miss me
When I have flown.
What am I?
Answer:
I am time.

Riddle:
I am seen in the water
If seen in the sky,
I am in the rainbow,
A jay’s feather,
And lapis lazuli.
What am I?
Answer:
I am the color blue.

Riddle: What did your grandfather use to buy a gumball when he was a boy that rhymes with Jenny?
Answer: A penny.

Riddle:
Lovely and round
I shine with pale light,
Grown in the darkness,
A lady’s delight.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a pearl.

Riddle:
I am only useful
When I am full.
Yet, I am always
Full of holes.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a sieve.

Riddle: What helps us count and rhymes with seven?
Answer: The number eleven.

Riddle:
Glittering points
That downward thrust,
Sparking spears
That never rust.
What am I?
Answer:
I am an icicle.

Riddle:
Great deeds with little strength I do,
I close the open, open the closed, for you.
I keep the master’s house, the master keeps me, too.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a key.

Riddle: What is something you dig where the sea meets the land?
Answer: Sand.

Riddle:
I live in the oceans, the rivers, and seas;
When I’m cold I float -
When I’m hot, I’m free.
What am I?
Answer:
I am water.

Riddle:
I hear a lot
And I say a lot
Few ever look for me
And even fewer ever hear me
I hide in plain sight
Whether it’s day or night
To help is all I want
But most like to bend me
And as if they had a wand
Never again shall anyone find me
They do this to control
Without realizing the high price of a soul
But when I’m least expected
They’d rather be protected
For there shall be no place to hide
What am I?
Answer:
I am the truth.

Riddle: What helps us breath and rhymes with rose?
Answer: Nose.

Riddle:
There was a girl in our town,
Silk an’ satin was her gown,
Silk an’ satin, gold an’ velvet,
Guess her name, three times I’ve telled it.
What is it?
Answer:
Ann is her name.

Riddle:
I sing when I’m struck
Or whenever they shake me.
By mold and cast,
The craftsmen make me.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a bell.

Riddle: What is hot and yellow, and rhymes with fun?
Answer: The Sun.

Riddle:
Little Nanny Etticoat,
In a white petticoat,
And a red nose;
The longer she stands,
The shorter she grows.
What is she?
Answer:
She is a candle.

Riddle:
You’ll see me when the Sun is high and also late at night,
I’m in the songs of holidays, when the snow is white,
Kings and Queens and royalty, are all found in me,
I’m the largest of them all, with just one you see,
Step by step with pounding feet, I’m tribes of angry men,
I’m above your hands right now, for help or to go again,
You’ll use me in the kitchen, or add a little more,
I’ll be in the years to come, and the days of yore.
What am I?
Answer:
I am the number twelve.

Riddle:
Old Mother Twitchett had but one eye,
And a long tail which she let fly;
And every time she went over a gap,
She left a bit of her tail in a trap.
What is she?
Answer:
She is a needle and thread.

Riddle:
A word I know
That six letters contains,
Subtract the last
And only twelve remains.
What is it?
Answer:
The word is dozens.

Riddle:
I like trees,
But I hate bees.
I sleep all day,
And I’m misty and gray.
I have mossy hair,
but I can still be a scare -
What am I?
Answer:
I am a bat.

Riddle:
As I was going to Saint Ives,
I met a man with seven wives,
Every wife had seven sacks,
Every sack had seven cats,
Every cat had seven kittens -
Kittens, cats, sacks, and wives,
How many were going to Saint Ives?
Answer:
Only I was going to Saint Ives.

Riddle:
I am a word of letters three;
Add two,
And even fewer there will be.
Who am I?
Answer:
I am the word few, becoming ‘fewer’ with two letters added.

Riddle:
In marble walls as white as milk,
Lined with a skin as soft as silk,
Within a fountain crystal clear,
A golden apple doth appear,
No doors there are to this stronghold,
Yet thieves break in and steal the gold.
What am I?
Answer:
I am an egg.

Riddle:
I am in the church,
But not in the steeple.
I am in the parson,
But not in the people.
What am I?
Answer:
I am the letter ‘r.’

Riddle:
I run all day and I never walk,
I have a big mouth, but never talk.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a river.

Riddle:
I come in different styles,
I can walk with you for miles,
I come in a pair,
I’m something that you wear,
With heels I am glam -
Can you guess what I am?
Answer:
I am shoes.

Riddle:
In the warm months I wear green,
Both in the day and at night;
As it cools I shed yellow,
But during winter I wear white.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a tree.

Riddle:
You heard me before,
Yet you hear me again,
Then I fade,
’Til you call me again
What am I?
Answer:
I am an echo.

Riddle:
A brightly colored winged-thing,
I flit and flutter all about;
Two antennae, two eyes,
And six little legs have I.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a butterfly.

This is MFOL! . . . welcome to our world . . .

0 Comments

Beginnings and Starting

12/19/2019

0 Comments

You can begin now . . . wherever you might find yourself in life . . . even if your circumstances are far less than ideal . . .

“Mighty things from small beginnings grow.” -John Dryden (1631 - 1700)

No matter our age or where we’ve been
or what we’ve said and done,
Each sunrise is a reminder
that we’ve only just begun.
-Author Unknown

“This is the start of something wonderful.” -Author Unknown

“Begin and you’re halfway there.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“You begin by always expecting good things to happen.” -Tom Hopkins at www.TomHopkins.com

“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake.” -Marie Beynon Ray (1886 - 1969)

“For what it’s worth . . . it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940))

“Everything must have a beginning.” -Author Unknown

“The two important things I did learn were that you are as powerful and strong as you allow yourself to be, and that the most difficult part of any endeavor is taking the first step, making the first decision.” -Robyn Davidson (born 1950)

“The hardest step of any worthwhile endeavor is always the first step. The second hardest step is the one you take after every fiber in your body says, ‘Quit!’ but you know in your spirit you must carry on.” -Al Argo

“Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.” -Demosthenes (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.)

“It isn’t where you came from; it’s where you’re going that counts.” -Ella Fitzgerald (1918 - 1996)

“Begin to be now what you will be hereafter.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“Don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.” -Richard L. Evans (Richard Louis Evans (1906 - 1971))

“Of a good beginning cometh a good end.” -John Heywood (1497 - 1580): “Proverbs” (1546), part I, chapter X

“Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is.” -Ernest Hemingway (Ernest Miller Hemingway (1899 - 1961)): “The Old Man and the Sea” (1952)

“Sometimes it is really hard to get going. We put off things we do not want to do, or we are afraid to try. We occasionally feel overwhelmed by the size of a job to be done, like cleaning out the cellar or reading a long book for a class. But think a minute. If Beethoven had thought about how complicated it would be to write his Ninth Symphony, with all the instruments and voices and notes to blend together, do you really think he would ever have started? But he did not get overwhelmed. He sat down and wrote just one small note, and then another, and third. It took him months, but writing one note led to a second and, one note at a time, he completed it. We begin the same way with whatever tasks we have ahead of us. Each tiny bit of progress helps us go on to the next part. We begin by reading one page of that book, or taking one box of junk from the cellar. That is all we have to do. The rest will follow almost on its own. The trick is to begin.” -Author Unknown

“It is better to begin in the evening than not at all.” -Author Unknown: English proverb

“Start from wherever you are and with whatever you’ve got.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“He has half the deed done who has made a beginning. Have the courage to be wise. Begin!” -Quintus Horatius Flaccus (also known as Horace (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)): “Epistles”

“Do it now, because sometimes ‘later’ becomes ‘never.’” -Author Unknown

“The word ‘begin’ is full of energy. The best way to get something done is to begin. It’s truly amazing what tasks we can accomplish if only we begin.” -Clifford Warren (about 1932 - 2009)

“If you have the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed.” -David Viscott (1938 - 1996)

“The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings.” -Dave Weinbaum (born about 1952)

“If we wait for the moment when everything is ready, we shall never begin.” -Ivan Turgenev (Ivan Sergeyevich Turgenev (1818 - 1883))

“As the dimensions of the tree are not always regulated by the size of the seed, so the consequences of things are not always proportionate to the apparent magnitude of those events that have produced them.” -C. C. Colton (Charles Caleb Colton (1780 - 1832)): “Lacon: or, Many Things in Few Words” (1820), CLXXXVIII

“It is time to get moving. Your spirits will lift accordingly.” -Author Unknown

“Begin with the end in mind.” -Stephen Covey (Stephen Richards Covey (1932 - 2012))

“It doesn’t matter where you start. Only that you begin.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

“Every ending is creating the space and opening for an amazing new beginning.” -Bryant McGill (born 1969)

“All glory comes from daring to begin.” -Eugene Ware (Eugene Fitch Ware (1841 - 1911)): “John Brown”

“The great majority of men are bundles of beginnings.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“It is never too late, just as it is never too early.” -Author Unknown

“If the first button of one’s coat is wrongly buttoned, all the rest will be crooked.” -Giordano Bruno (1548 - 1600): as attributed in John Emerich Edward Dalberg-Acton: “The Cambridge Modern History” (1904), page 707

“He who is outside his door has the hardest part of his journey behind him.” -Author Unknown: Dutch proverb

“The best time for new beginnings is now.” -Author Unknown

“The beginnings of all things are small.” -Marcus Tullius Cicero (also known as Tully or simply as Cicero (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.))

“What is not started today is never finished tomorrow.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” -Joe Sabah: as attributed in Zig Ziglar: “Over the Top” (1994)

“Too many people spend too much time trying to perfect something before they actually do it. Instead of waiting for perfection, run with what you’ve got, and fix it along the way.” -Paul Arden (1940 - 2008)

“You can’t get much done by starting tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“The secret to living the life of your dreams is to start living the life of your dreams today, in every little way you possibly can.” -Mike Dooley (born 1961)

“You can’t cross the sea merely by staring at the water.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

“I have begun several times many things, and I have often succeeded at last.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“The start is what stops most people.” -Don Shula (Donald Francis ‘Don’ Shula (born 1930))

“Making a start involves physics: An object at rest tends to remain at rest and an object in motion tends to remain in motion, unless acted upon by an outside force in either case. So the difficulty is only one of getting an object at rest - which is you, your circumstances, other people around you, and so forth, into a state of motion. Once in motion, or that is, having made a start, objects and courses of events have a known propensity to remain in motion.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Persistent people begin their success where others end in failure.” -Edward Eggleston (1837 - 1902)

“You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” -Stephen King (born 1947)

“Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” -Meister Eckhart (Eckhart von Hochheim (about C.E. 1260 - about 1327))

“A year from now you may wish you had started today.” -Karen Lamb (born 1956)

“The beginning is the most important part of any work.” -Plato (about 427 B.C.E. - about 347 B.C.E.): “The Republic” (about 380 B.C.E.), Book 2

“Don’t be afraid if things seem difficult in the beginning. That’s only the initial impression. The important thing is not to retreat; you have to master yourself.” -Olga Korbut (Olga Valentinovna Korbut (born 1955))

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” -Lao Tzu (604 B.C.E. - 531 B.C.E.)

“If you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured, it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won, or lasting happiness achieved.” -Maurice Chevalier (Maurice Auguste Chevalier (1888 - 1972))

“Don’t wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.” -Author Unknown

“Do not despise the bottom rungs in the ascent to greatness.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“I see now that the circumstances of one’s birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.” -Takeshi Shudo (1949 - 2010), speaking through his fictional character Mewtwo

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” -William Faulkner (William Cuthbert ‘Will’ Faulkner (1897 - 1962))

“Well begun is half done.” -Aristotle (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.): “Politics,” Book V

“So many fail because they don’t get started - they don’t go. They don’t overcome inertia. They don’t begin.” -W. Clement Stone (William Clement Stone (1902 - 2002))

“When was the last time you did something for the first time?” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“You can learn new things at any time in your life if you’re willing to be a beginner. If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up for you.” -Barbara Sher (born 1935): “I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was: How to Discover What You Really Want and How to Get It” (1995)

“First things first, but not necessarily in that order.” -Author Unknown: “Doctor Who”

“The question for each man is not what he would do if he had the means, time, influence, and educational advantages, but what he will do with the things he has.” -Alexander Hamilton (1755 or 1757 - 1804)

“Conditions are never just right. People who delay action until all factors are favorable do nothing.” -William A. Feather (William Arthur Feather (1889 - 1981))

“Begin anywhere.” -John Cage (John Milton Cage, Junior (1912 - 1992))

“It’s time to start living the life you’ve imagined.” -Henry James, Junior (1843 - 1916)

“Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.” -Shunryu Suzuki (1904 - 1971)

“Take the first step, no more, no less, and the next will be revealed.” -Ken Roberts (born 1946): “A Rich Man’s Secret” (1995) (similar quotation attributed to Clement Watt)

“The one thing all famous authors, world class athletes, business tycoons, singers, actors, and celebrated achievers in any field have in common is that they all began their journeys when they were none of these things.” -Mike Dooley (born 1961)

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” -Arthur Ashe (1943 - 1993)

“No matter how small and unimportant what we are doing may seem, if we do it well, it may soon become the step that will lead us to better things.” -Channing Pollock (1880 - 1946)

“Our grand business in life is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“It will get easier once you make the initial push.” -Author Unknown

“Can anything be sadder than work unfinished? Yes, work never begun.” -Christina Rossetti (Christina Georgina Rossetti (1830 - 1894))

“It doesn’t matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Every really new idea looks crazy at first.” -Abraham Maslow (Abraham Harold Maslow (1908 - 1970))

“The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in the egg; and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912): “As a Man Thinketh” (1903)

“You already have all you need.” -James Cardinal Gibbons: “The Light of the Cross” (1905; 2 volumes)

“Start where you are. Distant fields always look greener, but opportunity lies right where you are.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“Out of the lowest depths there is a path to the loftiest height.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tiptoe if you must, but take a step.” -Naeem Callaway (Naeem D. Callaway (born 1979))

“Begin where you are; work where you are; the hour which you are now wasting, dreaming of some far off success, may be crowded with grand possibilities.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“As it turns out, now is the moment you’ve been waiting for.” -Lucinda Williams (born 1953)

“And suddenly you just know it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.” -Meister Eckhart (Eckhart von Hochheim (about C.E. 1260 - about 1327))

This is MFOL! . . . where another topic starts next . . .

0 Comments

Teddy Bears

12/15/2019

0 Comments

“Long before I grew up, my Teddy Bear taught me what love really meant: being there when you’re needed.” -Jim Nelson

Bernie: What do Teddy Bears do when it rains?
Barney: They get wet.

The history of Teddy Bears is believed to have started in about 1902 or shortly thereafter, when the first stuffed Teddy Bears were produced by the Ideal Novelty & Toy Company in America and also by the Steiff Company in Germany. The origin of the name ‘Teddy Bear’ is claimed to be derived from the twenty-sixth American President, Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919; in office 1901 - 1909). His nickname was ‘Teddy,’ so technically, the ‘Teddy Bear’ would be his namesake.

Tad: What’s the difference between Teddy Bears and apples?
Tod: Teddy Bears don’t grow on trees.

“A bear knows all your secrets - and keeps them.” -Rosanne Brown

Two Little Teddy Bears

Two little Teddy Bears
     Big brown eyes
Fluffy little Teddy Bears
     Making mud pies
Muddy little paws, dirty little feet
     Making mud pies is a very special treat
Pop them in the oven
     Bake them in the oven
Bake them till they’re brown
     Our mud pies are the best in town
Ask all the other Bears
     Won’t you come to tea
To eat the finest mud pies
     In the whole country?

by Author Unknown

Melissa: What did the Teddy Bear say when he was offered a second helping?
Chrissy: “No thanks; I’m already stuffed!”

Once upon a time there were three bears . . . three Teddy Bears, that is . . .

“My Teddy was there when I had no friends to play with, no one to talk to, no one to share my little woes or my big joys. He looked constant and was constant. He never aged, no matter how tattered he became. His smell was the smell of my years as a boy, and he alone knew everything. Now, when I see him on the shelf, he is like my flesh and my soul - older, worn, but still full of happiness.” -Robert Kunciov

Theodore: How do Teddy Bears keep their houses cool in Summer?
Ted: They use bear-conditioning.

“It is astonishing, really, how many thoroughly mature, well-adjusted grown-ups harbor a Teddy Bear - which is perhaps why they are thoroughly mature and well-adjusted.” -Joseph Lempa

“Teddy Bears live more commonly in the arms of children than in the woods.” -Author Unknown

Ellie: What do you call a Teddy Bear at the North Pole?
Allie: Lost!

Dutch police cars carry toy Teddy Bears in case something troubling happens to a child.

Theo: How do Teddy Bears send their letters?
Teddy: By bear mail, of course!

Shakespeare pre-dated the Teddy Bear, but he captured the companionship and bond we share with our bears when he wrote: “He was my friend, faithful, and just to me . . .” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

“A bear remains a bear - even when most of him has fallen off or worn away.” -Charlotte Gray

“After people and dolls, Teddy Bears are the third most likely guests to be invited to tea parties.” -Author Unknown

“The gift of a Teddy Bear is good for boys and girls of nearly any age, as well as men and women; they are acceptable in all seasons and on all holidays; they are found in homes, hospitals, and schools. They bring warmth and a sense of belonging to new arrivals in orphanages, foster homes, and emergency shelters. It is not unknown for them to be given by police officers, firefighters, paramedics, soldiers, and rescuers, to persons in distress. As a practical matter, they take up little space, are easily packed and carried, and can double as a pillow for one’s head. They are never out-of-date. In a store somewhere is a Teddy Bear or perhaps a few dozen, waiting to be picked up and presented by you as a welcome gift to someone who is certain to be appreciative.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“A bedroom without a Teddy is like a face without a smile.” -Gil Davies

“The world is divided into two nations: those with Teddy bears, those without. Each thinks the other is odd.” -Jenny De Vries

“There’s no bear like an old bear.” -Samantha Armstrong

Teddy Bear

Teddy was under the lilac bush -
when the snow went away we found him there.
And one of his shoebutton eyes was lost
and the shine was gone from his yellow hair.
But Teddy blinked with his last black eye
and said that he really didn’t care
(except that his cave was a trifle cold)
as long as we came and found him there.
And he said with a smile on his white yarn mouth
that Real bears slept in a cave or lair
All through the Winter . . . and if they could,
well then, why couldn’t a Teddy Bear?

by Aileen Fisher (Aileen Lucia Fisher (1906 - 2002))

“One never quite gets over a lost bear.” -Jane Swan

“Whoever said, ‘Diamonds are a girl’s best friend,’ would retract that statement after seeing the sparkle in a Teddy’s eyes.” -Lana T. Zeis

“Now that I’m all grown up, I can buy any old Teddy Bear I want - except the old Teddy Bear I want.” -William Sternman

Nellie: Why couldn’t the Teddy Bear finish his lunch?
Nettie: Because he was stuffed!

“There’s just something about a Teddy Bear that’s impossible to explain. When you hold one in your arms, you get a feeling of love, comfort, and security. It’s almost supernatural.” -James Ownby

“A Teddy Bear does not depend upon mechanics to give him the semblance of life. He is loved - and therefore he lives.” -Pat Brown

Fuzzy: How do you start a Teddy Bear race?
Wuzzy: Teddy, set, go!

“All bears merit a dignified old age.” -Peter Gray

Vincent: What is the difference between a Teddy Bear and a turkey?
Sylvia: If you don’t know, maybe you shouldn’t cook any holiday dinners!

“A bear grows more alive with age. No one with an ounce of sensitivity could ever consign a bear to the dustbin.” -Johnnie Hague

Tricia: What kind of umbrella does a Teddy Bear carry in the rain?
Beatrice: A wet one!

“Bears are just about the only toy that can lose just about everything and still maintain their dignity and worth.” -Samantha Armstrong

“A Teddy Bear’s virtue is that he cannot love himself . . . only others.” -Ted Menten

“Anyone who has looked a Teddy Bear in the face will recognize the friendly twinkle in his knowing look.” -Harold Nadolny

Your Tiny Teddy Bear

I will be your tiny Teddy Bear,
     And when you need comforting, I will be there!
I’m huggable, lovable, and portable,
     And for the value I bring, I’m quite affordable!
I am cushiony soft and squeezable,
     And I need no batteries, and I am hand-washable!
I am waiting for you, in a shop all alone,
     And now . . . please pick me up and take me home!

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Teddy Bears are one of the most popular gifts to present at baby showers and to newborn babies.

“You really don’t have to be young to find a friend in a Teddy Bear.” -Rachel Newman

For just the right Teddy Bear, visit Vermont Teddy Bears at https://www.VermontTeddyBear.com/ and be sure to let them know you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Geoffrey: Why did the Teddy Bear not eat dessert?
George: Because he was already stuffed.

“Once a bear has been loved by a human being, its expression is forever marked.” -Jama Kim Rattigan

“A Teddy Bear is your childhood wrapped up in faded yellow fur, and as such, he commands affection long after he is outgrown.” -Pat Brown

This is MFOL! . . . we cannot wait to see what is coming next . . .

0 Comments

Past-Dwelling and Past-Dwellers

12/12/2019

0 Comments

“Only look back to see how far you’ve come.” -Author Unknown

“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest, that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.” -Jan Glidewell (James Janis ‘Jan’ Glidewell (1944 - 2013))

“If you’re yearning for the good old days, just turn off the air conditioning.” -Griff Niblack

“If you let go of the past, it no longer has a hold on you.” -Author Unknown

“Do not look back; if Cinderella had gone back to pick up her shoe, she would never have become a princess.” -Author Unknown

“You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“I live in the past because it’s cheaper there.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t look back - that’s not where the future is.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Living in the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back strains the neck muscles, causes you to bump into people not going your way.” -Edna Ferber (1887 - 1968)

“The Ogle Fish swims everywhere backwards, because it is only interested in seeing where it has already been.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Remember, you can’t reach for what’s in front of you, until you let go of what’s behind you.” -Author Unknown

“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Alice in Wonderland” (1865)

“Don’t look back. You’re not going that way.” -Author Unknown

“We can draw lessons from the past, but we cannot live in it.” -Lyndon B. Johnson (Lyndon Baines Johnson (1908 - 1973))

“Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□

The Good Old Days

“In my day, we couldn’t afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In the Winter we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.” -Bill Flavin

“In my day, we didn’t have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.” -Sarah M. Wolford

“In my day, we didn’t have days. There was only ‘time for work,’ ‘time for prayer,’ and ‘time for sleep.’ The sheriff would go around and tell everyone when to change.” -Elden Carnahan

“In my day, we didn’t have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.” -Diana Hugue

by Author Unknown: as published in the “Washington Post” (about 1997) newspaper in a contest on the subject of the difficulty of the good old days

□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□

“For those who live in the past, there is no future.” -Author Unknown

“When setting priorities, going forward is likely to be found to be more important than looking back.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“That which is past is gone and irrevocable, and wise men have enough to do with things present and to come.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): “Essays” (1597)

Aaron: How many past-dwellers does it take to change a light bulb?
Erin: Four. One to change the bulb and three to reminisce about how good the old burned-out, broken bulb was.

“The past is to learn from and not to live in.” -Richard L. Evans (Richard Louis Evans (1906 - 1971))

“The water that is past cannot make the mill go.” -Author Unknown

“How many people long for that ‘past, simpler, and better world,’ I wonder, without ever recognizing the truth that perhaps it was they who were simpler and better, and not the world about them?” -R. A. Salvatore

“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.” -Will Rogers (William Penn Adair ‘Will’ Rogers (1879 - 1935)) (similar quotation attributed to Richard H. Nelson)

“The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post.” -L. Thomas Holdcroft

“If you are still talking about what you did yesterday, you haven’t done much today.” -Author Unknown

“It’s but little good you’ll do a-watering the last year’s crop.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans (1819 - 1880)): “Adam Bede” (1859)

Retrosaurus: A backward-looking dinosaur. Usage example: Past-dwellers can be crusty old retrosauruses at times.

“Nothing has ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now; and if the past cannot prevent you from being present now, what power does it have?” -Eckhart Tolle (born 1948 as Ulrich Leonard Tölle)

“When we cling to the past, we become unavailable in the present.” -Author Unknown

“Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.” -Byrd Baggett

“Move forward, don’t look back, just forget the past.” -Author Unknown

“The more we look backwards, the less we will be able to see forward.” -Author Unknown

Past-Dwelling and Past-Dwellers Quiz
- What does it mean when a person is said to be dwelling in the past?
- What is the difference between dwelling in the past and reminiscing?
- What harm can it do to dwell in the past?
- How can a person stop dwelling in the past, start living in the present, and start working and planning for the future?

“It’s okay to look back at the past. Just don’t stare.” -Benjamin Dover

“We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays.” -Persius (Aulus Persius Flaccus (C.E. 34 - C.E. 62))

“It is not possible to go forward while looking back.” -Ludwig Mies van der Rohe (1886 - 1969)

“When you focus on what might have been, it gets in the way of what can be.” -Patricia Fripp

“Looking back gives you regrets. Looking ahead gives you opportunities.” -Author Unknown

“Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“When you finally let go of the past, something better comes along.” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . looking forward to what is coming next . . .

0 Comments

Quitting and Trying

12/9/2019

0 Comments

“There is an old saying: ‘If you hang in there long enough, keep trying, and don’t give up, something good is sure to happen.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

You Can Do It

Giving up is easy
     When your dreams seem far away,
And life is full of obstacles,
     You face them every day.
But, no matter what the challenge
     Some faith will get you through it.
So never quit believing,
     Just remember, you can do it!

by Author Unknown

“No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.” -Tony Robbins (Anthony Jay ‘Tony’ Robbins (born 1960))

“I already know what giving up feels like. I want to see what happens if I don’t.” -Neila Rey (born 1986), website https://darebee.com

“Never quit. If you stumble, get back up. What happened yesterday no longer matters. Today is another day. So, get back on track and move closer to your dreams and goals. You can do it.” -Author Unknown

“Life is trying things to see if they work.” -Ray Bradbury (Ray Douglas Bradbury (1920 - 2012))

“It’s always too soon to quit!” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“The man who tried his best and failed is superior to the man who never tried.” -Bud Wilkinson (Charles Burnham ‘Bud’ Wilkinson (1916 - 1994))

“Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.” -George E. Woodberry (George Edward Woodberry (1855 - 1930))

“Your biggest break can come from never quitting. Being at the right place at the right time can only happen when you keep moving toward the next opportunity.” -Arthur Pine

“Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.” -Vigil Thomson (1896 - 1989)

“There is no failure except in no longer trying.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“Before you quit, try.” -William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994)

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.” -Cassius Longinus (C.E. 213 - C.E. 273)

“Unless you’re willing to have a go, fail miserably, and have another go, success won’t happen.” -Phillip Adams (Phillip Andrew Hedley Adams (born 1939))

“If you only do what you know you can do, you never do very much.” -Tom Krause (Tom Gunnar Krause (1934 - 2013))

“Try and fail, but don’t fail to try.” -Stephen Kaggwa

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.” -Samuel Beckett (1906 - 1989)

“Don’t give up. One day you will look back and be glad you didn’t.” -Author Unknown

“In every triumph there’s a lot of try.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“Don’t give up. Moses was once a basket case.” -Author Unknown

“No one knows what he can do till he tries.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): “Public Sayings”

“Never let a stumble in the road be the end of the journey.” -Author Unknown

“It doesn’t matter if you try and try and try again, and fail. It does matter if you try and fail, and fail to try again.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“Every accomplishment starts with a decision to try.” -Author Unknown

“If you don’t try, you can’t fail . . . or succeed.” -Author Unknown

“Resolve never to quit, never to give up, no matter what the situation.” -Jack Nicklaus (Jack William Nicklaus (born 1940))

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” -Maya Angelou (Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

“One must learn by doing the thing. For though you think you know it, you have no certainty until you try.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“‘It’s impossible,’ said pride. ‘It’s risky,’ said experience. ‘It’s pointless,’ said reason. ‘Give it a try,’ whispered the heart.” -Author Unknown

“Many a man never fails because he never tries.” -Norman MacEwan (Norman Duckworth Kerr MacEwan (1881 - 1953))

“The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized - and never knowing.” -David Viscott (David Steven Viscott (1938 - 1996))

“Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one-yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown.” -Ross Perot (Henry Ross Perot (born 1930))

“Trying will do anything in this world.” -Theocritus (about 300 B.C.E. - after 260 B.C.E.)

“Try something, anything. If it doesn’t work, try something else. The important thing is that you try, and keep on trying, and never give up trying.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“What isn’t tried won’t work.” -Claude McDonald (Claude Maxwell McDonald (1852 - 1915))

“Michelangelo stated, ‘The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but it is too low and we reach it.’ Don’t give up. Success is within reach of everyone, as long as you try. As long as someone is willing to take the first step and continue taking steps, success can be realized. In fact, taking that first step could be the greatest success because it is the building block for all steps that follow and all successes that will be realized in your life. Remember, always try, and remember this simple saying. I never see failure as failure, but only an opportunity to practice and perfect my skills as I take the journey to becoming successful at whatever I decide to do.” -Author Unknown

“They fail, and they alone, who have not striven.” -Thomas Bailey Aldrich (1836 - 1907)

“Always remember: All that other folks can do, why with patient persistent trying should not you? Keep that noble chin up and keep trying - wonderful things can happen when we just try! Now, think happy thoughts, put your smile on, and have the best imaginable day!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If you never try, you will never know.” -Author Unknown

“Life has two rules: Number one, never quit; Number two, always remember rule number one.” -Duke Ellington (1899 - 1974)

“It is better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Learned helplessness is the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn’t matter.” -Martin Seligman (Martin E. P. ‘Marty’ Seligman (born 1942))

“You can’t even be a failure if you’ve never tried.” -Andy Capp

“You’ll never find out what you can do, until you do all you can to find out.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“One does not always do the best there is. One does the best one can.” -Catherine the Great (also known as Catherine II (1729 - 1796))

“Losers quit when they are tired. Winners quit when they have won.” -Author Unknown

“The only failure is a failure to try. Everything else is just learning.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Have you ever considered the cost of quitting? For a real eye opener . . . ask Thomas Edison . . . Steve Jobs . . . Michael Jordan . . . or Jim Carrey . . . ask them how much it would have cost them if they had quit . . . what about you?” -Doug Firebaugh (born 1968)

Overheard: Give it one more try . . .

“To try and fail is at least to learn; to fail to try is to suffer the inestimable loss of what might have been.” -Chester Barnard (Chester Irving Barnard (1886 - 1961))

“Winners never quit, and quitters never win.” -Author Unknown

“Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will.” -Robert Anthony (Robert Newton Anthony (1916 - 2006))

“Try your best, and then on each succeeding try, attempt to best your last try.” -Author Unknown

“The last dejected effort often becomes the winning stroke.” -W. J. Cameron (William John Cameron (1879 - 1953))

“Ninety percent of those who fail are not actually defeated. They simply quit.” -Paul J. Meyer (Paul James Meyer (1928 - 2009))

“If you find yourself in surroundings or around people who tell you that you are a failure before you have even begun to try, you must find a way to begin to try somewhere else and either around people who do not condemn you, or in peaceful solitude.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If you kinda sorta try, you get kinda sorta results.” -Author Unknown

“Next to trying and winning, the best thing is trying and failing.” -L. M. Montgomery (Lucy Maud Montgomery (1874 - 1942)): “Anne of Green Gables” (June 1908), Chapter 35; line spoken by fictional character Anne

“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” -Beverly Sills (1929 - 2007)

“Do not give up, the beginning is always the hardest.” -Author Unknown

“Every single one of us possesses the strength to attempt something he isn’t sure he can accomplish.” -Scott Jurek (Scott Gordon Jurek (born 1973))

“You won’t succeed unless you try.” -Author Unknown

“How many a man has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience, would have achieved success.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must be first overcome.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): “Rasselas” (1759)

“People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don’t know when to quit. Most men succeed because they are determined to.” -George H. Allen (George Herbert Allen, Senior (1918 - 1990))

“The only ones who truly fail are those that never try.” -Author Unknown

“You can’t hit a home run unless you step up to the plate. You can’t catch fish unless you put your line in the water. You can’t reach your goals if you don’t try.” -Kathy Seligman

“If you try you might; if you don’t you won’t.” -Author Unknown

“You never fail until you stop trying.” -Florence Griffith Joyner (Florence Delorez Griffith-Joyner (1959 - 1998))

“When you win, nothing hurts.” -Joe Namath (Joseph William ‘Joe’ Namath (born 1943))

This is MFOL! . . . where we never stop trying . . . and that is why much more fun and learning is coming up next . . .

0 Comments

Music

12/8/2019

0 Comments

“One man’s noise is another man’s music.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“There is nothing to it. You only have to hit the right notes at the right time and the instrument plays itself.” -J. S. Bach (Johann Sebastian Bach (1685 - 1750)): as quoted in K. Geiringer: “The Bach Family” (1954), ‘Of the Organ’

A New Song

There was a composer named Zong
Who composed a new popular song.
     It was simply the croon
     Of a lovesick baboon,
With occasional thumps on the gong.

by Author Unknown

“My music is best understood by children and animals.” -Igor Stravinsky (1882 - 1971): as quoted in the “Observer” (8 October 1961)

Eric: My brother has been practicing the violin for twenty years.
Zack: He must be really good.
Eric: Not really - it was nineteen years before he realized you aren’t supposed to blow into it.

“I think the first time I knew what I wanted to do with my life was when I was about four years old. I was listening to an old Victrola, playing a railroad song. The song was called ‘Hobo Bill’s Last Ride.’ And I thought it was the most wonderful, amazing thing that I’d ever heard.” -Johnny Cash (1932 - 2003)

Wesley: Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
Leslie: To reach the high notes.

“The great object of music is to touch the heart.” -Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach (also known as Karl Philipp Emmanuel Bach (1714 - 1788))

Martha: What comes before a tuba?
Bertha: A one-ba.

Marta: What comes after a tuba?
Berta: A three-ba.

Important Stuff You Need to Know about Music
- A trumpet is an instrument when it is not an elephant sound.
- A tuba is much larger than its name.
- Cymbals are round metal clangs.
- Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was rather large.
- Most authorities agree that the music of antiquity was written long ago.
- The main trouble with a French horn is that it is too tangled up.
- The most dangerous part about playing cymbals is being near the noise.
- Tubas are a bit too much.
- When a singer sings, he stirs up the air and makes it hit any passing eardrums. But if he is good, he knows how to keep it from hurting.

“All music is folk music; I ain’t never heard no horse sing a song.” -Louis Armstrong (1900 - 1971)

Austrian composer Joseph Haydn composed his Quartet Number 49 in D-major for two violins, viola and violoncello, in the year 1785. For the most part, it is a thoughtful and serious work, but in Opus 50, Number 6, a frog can be heard croaking loudly, even stridently, in sounds produced by playing the same notes alternately on two neighboring strings. This part of the set is popularly known as ‘The Frog.’

Kevin: What instrument plays only sour notes?
Marvin: A pickle-o.

“Long before there was human music, the harmony and rhythm of nature, such as falling rain (rhythm section), wind whispering in the trees and rocks (wind instruments), and pounding thunder (percussion instruments), all soothed the savage beast.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harmony.
Harmony, who?
Harmony more jokes like these can a person take?

“I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs, and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with music.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans, possibly also known as Marian Evans Cross (1819 - 1880)): “The Mill on the Floss” (1860), Book VI, chapter vi

“Music is well said to be the speech of angels.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

Clarinet players
Are smarter than trombonists
Because they can reed
-Guy Ben-Moshe

“Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.” -Berthold Auerbach (Berthold ‘Red’ Auerbach (1812 - 1882))

Marla: Why did the punk rocker take a pen and paper onstage?
Darla: He wanted to draw a big crowd.

“Music is so naturally united with us that we cannot be free from it even if we so desired.” -Anicius Manlius Severinus Boethius (C.E. 475 - C.E. 523)

The Tutor

A Tutor who tooted the flute
Tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
     Said the two to the Tutor,
     “Is it harder to toot, or
To tutor two tooters to toot?”

by Carolyn Wells (Carolyn Wells Houghton (1862 - 1942))

“Just how much impact does music have? In 1703, Andrew Fletcher, a great Scottish patriot, made this observation (and I paraphrase him): ‘You write the laws, let me write the music, and I will rule your country.’” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012)): “Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World” (1985)

Jessica: What kind of sound comes from a refrigerator with a built-in stereo?
Jillian: Very cool music.

“Music is medicine to man.” -Author Unknown: inscription on bell number 4 at Saint Mary’s Church in Harrow-on-the-Hill, England

“I don’t care much about music. What I like is sounds.” -Dizzy Gillespie (John Birks ‘Dizzy’ Gillespie (1917 - 1993))

Did the two Rock bands named Styx and Stones ever perform together? Styx and Stones may break my eardrums . . . but New Age Jazz music will never thrill me.

“Music is what feelings sound like.” -Author Unknown

Adolphe Sax was born in Belgium in the early nineteenth century. He grew up accident prone: He was struck on the head by a brick, swallowed a needle, fell down a flight of stairs, toppled himself onto a burning stove, and accidentally drank sulfuric acid. None of this, however, prevented him from perfecting, in 1835, a wind instrument combining the reed mouthpiece of a clarinet with a bent conical tube of metal, equipped with finger keys. In his honor, it is called the saxophone.

Oboe: An English tramp.

“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” -Maya Angelou (Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

Dancer: Say, can’t you stretch the music a little longer - just a dance or two more?
Band Leader: Sorry, sir, this isn’t a rubber band.

“Music is a friend of labor, for it lightens the task by refreshing the nerves and spirit of the worker.” -William Green

Two musicians were walking down the street, and one said to the other, “Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?” The other replied, “That was no piccolo, that was my fife.”

“Music is moonlight in the gloomy night of life.” -Jean Paul (pseudonym of Johann Paul Friedrich Richter (1763 - 1825))

Kermit: How do you make a small fortune in folk music?
Armand: Start with a large fortune.

Sign on music shop door: Gone Chopin. Back in a Minuet.

“An agreeable harmony for the honor of God and the permissible delights of the soul.” -J. S. Bach (Johann Sebastian Bach (1685 - 1750)): as quoted in Derek Watson: “Music Quotations” (1911), a definition of music

Suggested Minimum Safe Distances between Street Musicians and Audiences
- Violinist: 25 feet.
- Bad violinist: 50 feet.
- Tone deaf guitar player who knows 3 chords: 75 feet.
- 15 year-old electric guitar player with a Nirvana complex: 100 feet.
- Accordionist: 60 miles.
- Bagpipe player: 2 continents.

“I went to watch Pavarotti once. He doesn’t like it when you join in.” -Mick Miller

Good Reasons to Play the Tuba
8. People like shiny objects.
7. It is better than playing bagpipes.
6. When you play, people listen.
5. During rehearsal, you get to sit in the back of the room.
4. During marching practice, you can use the bell to block out the Sun.
3. People hold doors open for you.
2. You don’t have to wear those silly hats.
1. You will never be blamed for being the one with the squeaky reed.

If you wanted to learn to play a musical instrument, which one would you start with, and why?

“Music: A beautiful succession of sounds.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“The aim and final end of all music should be none other than the glory of God and the refreshment of the soul. If heed is not paid to this, it is not true music but a diabolical bawling and twanging.” -J. S. Bach (Johann Sebastian Bach (1685 - 1750))

Musical instruments have been traditionally grouped - for the most part - into one of four ‘Families,’ based on how they produce sound. The families are the Brasswind instruments, the Percussion instruments, the String instruments, and the Woodwind instruments. Additional families, including the Keyboard instruments and the Electronic instruments, have been suggested more recently. A few instruments, such as the piano, do not fit neatly into just one family group. The piano has strings that vibrate like the Stringed instruments, and hammers that strike like the Percussion instruments.

“When you are about thirty-five years old, something terrible always happens to music.” -Steve Race

The human body can make a wide range of different vocal and percussive sounds. The vocalizations can include singing, chanting, humming, and yodeling. Percussives include clapping the hands, clicking the tongue, and snapping the fingers.

Daren: What does a musician use to clean his teeth?
Karen: A tootbrush and a tuba tootpaste.

Music is in all growing things;
And underneath the silky wings
Of smallest insects there is stirred
A pulse of air that must be heard;
Earth’s silence lives and throbs and sings.
-George Parsons Lathrop

Brasswind instruments are made of brass or other metals, and make sound when air blows through them. The musician’s lips buzz against the mouthpiece, as though making a raspberry noise. Air then vibrates inside the instrument to produce sound. The Brasswind Family includes bugles, cornets, French horns, sousaphones, trombones, trumpets, tubas, and other instruments. Some people shorten ‘Brasswind’ to simply ‘Brass.’

Buffy: How do you fix a broken tuba?
Dottie: With a tuba glue.

License plate seen on a professional bass clarinetist car: BSSCLRNT.

Percussion instruments make sound when they are struck, shaken, rubbed, scratched, or are otherwise subject to mechanical action. The Percussion Family includes bass drums, chimes, cowbells, cymbals, glockenspiels (bells), maracas, marimbas, snare drums, tam-tams (gongs), tambourines, timpani (kettle) drums, triangles, wood blocks, xylophones, and some other instruments. Grand pianos (uprights) can be included in this family, although they can also be included in the Strings and the Keyboards.

“If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.” -Author Unknown

String instruments create sound with strings. The strings may be plucked, as in a guitar or harp; bowed, as with a cello or a violin; or struck, as with a dulcimer. When the strings vibrate, they create sound. In addition to the instruments already mentioned, in the String Family are the banjos, basses, electric guitars, fiddles, ukuleles, violas, zithers, and other similar instruments.

“Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.” -Bill Nye (Edgar Wilson ‘Bill’ Nye (1850 - 1896), referring to Richard Wagner

“The dulcimer is the wild animal of the musical kingdom. It can be anything: bagpipe, guitar, fiddle, banjo, slide guitar, harpsichord, mandolin, but mostly itself, a droning, angelic power chord of delicacy that lives in its own world, in tune with its surroundings at a level that the well-tempered revolution could never quite tame.” -David Schnaufer (1952 - 2006) ( 2005)

“Music must take rank as the highest of the fine arts - as the one which, more than any other, ministers to human welfare.” -Herbert Spencer (1820 - 1903)

Woodwind instruments produce sound when air (wind) is blown inside. Air might be blown across an edge, as with a flute; between a reed and a surface, as with a clarinet; or between two reeds, as with a bassoon. Sound is made when air vibrates inside the instruments. Other instruments belonging to the Woodwind Family include alto clarinets, alto saxophones, baritone saxophones, bass clarinets, English horns, oboes, piccolos, recorders, soprano saxophones, and tenor saxophones.

“Music, the greatest good that mortals know, and all of Heaven we have below.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719)

The definition of a flute, according to David W. Barber in his book “A Musician’s Dictionary” is as follows: “A sophisticated pea-shooter with a range up to five hundred yards and deadly accuracy in close quarters. Blown transversely to confuse the enemy, it can be dismantled into three small pieces, for easy concealment.”

“Music is the eye of the ear.” -Thomas Draxe (year born unknown - 1618)

Keyboard instruments produce sound electronically, with the exception of upright pianos such as the Grand Piano, which can be included both in this group and in the Percussion Family, and organs, some of which could fit into the Brasswind or Woodwind instruments Families. Among the other members of the Keyboards are electronic keyboards and synthesizers. Electronic instruments can mimic the sounds of any musical instruments and can make their own unique sounds.

“Humming is mumbling musically.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

James: How many jazz musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Kirk: None - jazz musicians can’t afford light bulbs.

Among the fun and unusual musical instruments are didgeridoos, kazoos, pots and pans, slide whistles, washboards, wooden spoons, zinks (cornets), and zithers.

“Next to the Word of God, the noble art of music is the greatest treasure in the world.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

One of the greatest conductors of all time was Arturo Toscanini, whose skill was shown during a rehearsal of Claude Debussy’s “La Mer.” He wanted to achieve an especially spiritual effect in one passage. His vocabulary in English was not vast, and he was at a loss for words to describe exactly what he wanted the orchestra to do. He took a large white silk handkerchief from his coat pocket and threw it high into the air. Every player in the group was mesmerized as the handkerchief floated softly and hypnotically to the floor. “There,” Toscanini said, smiling, “play it like that!”

Life has its music; let us seek a way
Not to jangle the chords whereon we play.
-Archilochus of Paros

Musically yours . . . this is MFOL! . . . please be advised that some of the humor which follows may be a little ‘offbeat’ . . .

0 Comments

Attire and Accessories

12/7/2019

0 Comments

“The way we dress affects the way we think, the way we feel, the way we act, and the way others react to us.” -Judith Rasband

“Dress as if you have made something of yourself in the world, even if you have not.” -Author Unknown

“Never wear anything that panics the cat.” -P. J. O’Rourke (Patrick Jake O’Rourke (born 1947))

“Your shoes have to match your belt. That’s rule number one for guys. You can’t put the brown shoes with the black belt. Or a brown belt with a black wristwatch. Just don’t do it! Also, I don’t like boots with suits. And when you wear sneakers, make sure they go with your shirt.” -Ashton Kutcher (Christopher Ashton Kutcher (born 1978))

Riddle: What has two legs but cannot run?
Solution: A pair of trousers.

“Successful dress is really no more than achieving good taste and the look of the upper middle class.” -John T. Molloy (born 1937): “Dress for Success” (1975)

What do your clothes and other articles you wear or carry say about you? Do they accurately tell people who you really are? Are they giving people the wrong impression or the right impression, insofar as how you wish to be regarded?

One of the oldest pieces of women’s clothing discovered to date is a skirt similar to a Pacific-islander grass skirt, with bronze ornaments on the lower edge that would have jingled when its wearer walked or danced. Was it an article of clothing or a musical instrument?

“When in doubt, wear red.” -Bill Blass (William Ralph ‘Bill’ Blass (1922 - 2002))

“The well-dressed man never stands out in a crowd; his elegance sets him apart.” -Oscar de la Renta (pseudonym of Óscar Arístides Renta Fiallo (1932 - 2014))

Andy: Why were the suspenders sent to jail?
Barney: For holding up a pair of trousers.

“A well-dressed man is the best accessory a woman can have.” -Coco Chanel (1883 - 1971)

“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater . . . suggest that he wear a tail.” -Fran Lebowitz (Frances Ann ‘Fran’ Lebowitz (born 1950))

Jesse: Why are you wearing that fur coat?
Bessie: To stay warm, that’s what fur!

Animal hides and furs were one of the first types of clothing humans wore, and they continue to be worn even now for their warmth in areas that have extremely cold climates. However, in most places today, wearing fur is regarded as a luxury and has been made increasingly socially unacceptable through the efforts of animal rights activists.

“No one in the world needs a mink coat but a mink.” -Murray Banks (1917 - 2008)

“If you look good and dress well, you don’t need a purpose in life.” -Robert Pante

Until the mid-Middle Ages, clothes were usually fastened with ties (short lengths of rawhide or other material), beads-and-loops, or toggles. Lacing similar to the kind now used on shoes was still favored on clothes until the late 1600’s, as the best way to create a fit that could grow or shrink with one’s figure, during those times of alternating feast and famine. The first buttons as we recognize them appeared on clothes in the Middle Ages as a form of decoration. Zippers and Velcro would appear only much later in history.

“People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.” -Author Unknown

God Bless My Underwear

God bless my underwear
     My only pair
Stand beside us
     And guide us
Through the wash and
     The wear and the tear
Through the washer
     And the dryer
And the clothesline back to me
     God bless my underwear
My only pair.

by Author Unknown: sung to the same tune as “God Bless America”

The YKK seen on most zippers stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushikkaisha, which roughly translates as the Yoshida Company Limited. Founded in 1934, YKK is the most widely-recognized zipper maker in the world.

Overheard: Amazing - you just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes!

Old Person of Brill

There was an old person of Brill,
Who purchased a shirt with a frill;
     But they said, “Don’t you wish,
     You mayn’t look like a fish,
You obsequious old person of Brill?”

by Edward Lear (1812 - 1888)

The clingy material Velcro was inspired by Burdock seeds, which have soft stickers that cling to clothing.

Not long ago, most people wore clothing made at home, usually of wool, linen, or less commonly, cotton. First, animal or plant fibers had to be spun into long pieces of thread, and then the thread had to be woven into cloth. The fabric was either left in its natural color or colored with dyes made from plants.

“The best-dressed woman is one whose clothes wouldn’t look too strange in the country.” -Hardy Amies (Edwin Hardy Amies (1909 - 2003))

“Dressing well is a form of politeness.” -Tom Ford

During the 1860’s, dresses were so wide that women often found themselves stuck while trying to get through doorways. But women alone cannot be blamed for this silliness, because historically and right up to the present time, both men and women have been fashion designers and dressmakers.

“Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“To me, clothing is a form of self-expression - there are hints about who you are in what you wear.” -Marc Jacobs (born 1963)

Nothing to Wear

Dresses for breakfasts, and dinners, and balls;
Dresses to sit in, and stand in, and walk in;
Dresses to dance in, and flirt in, and talk in;
Dresses in which to do nothing at all;
Dresses for Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall.

by William Allen Butler (1825 - 1902)

The invention of the automobile and the bicycle had a noticeable influence on women’s fashions. In the 1900’s, skirts became shorter to enable women to step into automobiles and climb onto bicycles more easily.

“There’s no such thing as a designer of menswear - it’s only history. The suit around the world is based on the English suit, which began in about 1670.” -Hardy Amies (Edwin Hardy Amies (1909 - 2003))

“Fashions fade, style is eternal.” -Yves Saint-Laurent (Yves Henri Donat Mathieu-Saint-Laurent (1936 - 2008))

By law, in Carmel, New York, United States of America, men are not allowed to go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.

“When you can’t do something truly useful, you tend to vent the pent up energy in something useless but available, like snappy dressing.” -Lois McMaster Bujold (born 1949)

“My dad’s pants kept creeping up on him. By sixty-five, he was just a pair of pants and a head.” -Jeff Altman (born 1951)

Sharp Dresser

I once had a cousin named Bruce
Whose clothing was always quite spruce.
     To people who stared
     He frankly declared
“Without them, I’d be a recluse.”

by Author Unknown

Harry S Truman was a haberdasher before becoming an American President. In partnership with his old Army buddy Edward Jacobson, he owned the Truman & Jacobson haberdashery at 104 West 12th Street in Kansas City, Kansas, United States of America. The pair started selling suits and accessories for gentlemen on 28 November 1919, and continued in the business until the Great Depression of the 1930’s forced them out of business.

“I often take a brand-new suit or hat and throw it up against the wall a few times to get that stiff, square newness out of it.” -Fred Astaire (pseudonym of Frederick Austerlitz (1899 - 1987))

The wasting moth ne’er spoil’d my best array;
The cause was this: I wore it every day.
-Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744)

“Over the years I have learned that what is important in a dress is the woman who is wearing it.” -Yves Saint-Laurent (Yves Henri Donat Mathieu-Saint-Laurent (1936 - 2008))

Khakis: What you need to start a car in Boston.

Women’s trousers, including pants and slacks and jeans, as worn now, were not regarded as acceptable for wearing in public until the Second World War. It was during the war that women began to do work that had formerly been done more commonly by men. Able-bodied men had been sent off to distant battlefields, and with a shortage of men to do work, manufacturers, businesses, farmers, and even the government began hiring women workers in their place. Before that time, women usually wore dresses or skirts with blouses, and worked in the home.

“Don’t get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny.” -Kathryn Carpenter

An increased emphasis on youth culture began in America during the 1950’s. Clothing styles started to lean toward the younger folks. The poodle skirt, which is a circle skirt having an embroidered dog and leash on the front, became fashionable. Who says we can’t put bit of whimsy into our attire?

Jeans are trousers made from a heavy cotton fabric called denim. ‘Denim’ was originally called ‘serge de Nîmes,’ and came from the French seaside manufacturing town of Nîmes starting in the late 17th century. Over time, ‘de Nîmes’ was shortened to ‘denim.’ Jeans themselves were named after Genoan sailors from Genoa, Italy, who were locally known as ‘Genes,’ and who wore the material as clothing. Jeans were further developed as heavy-duty work trousers in the 1870’s by Levi Strauss, in California, United States of America. Levi’s jeans were originally dyed brown, but later were dyed the now-familiar blue color. Because all jeans are made from denim cloth, the term ‘denim jeans’ is redundant. One bale of cotton can be made into as many as 215 pairs of jeans.

“I have jeans with holes in them and I have nice jeans. I have casual and I have dressy jeans. I’ve got all kinds.” -Amanda Seyfried (Amanda Michelle Seyfried (born 1985))

Bell-bottom trousers were first worn by navy sailors, and were introduced to the fashion world by the hippies, with widespread popularity following soon thereafter. Also known as ‘flared’ pants, bell-bottoms are a garment associated with the societal trends of the 1960’s and 1970’s. They are a clothing article that many people still consider as an essential item in women’s wardrobes, and can even be paired with blouses that have flared sleeves and platform shoes to complete the hip flower-child look.

“Sweater: Garment worn by a child when his mother is feeling chilly.” -Ambrose Bierce (Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (1842 - 1914))

“You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and truth.” -Henrik Ibsen (Henrik Johan ‘Henrik’ Ibsen (1828 - 1906)): “An Enemy of the People” (1882), act 5

“Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.” -Janet Lane

“Semper ubi sub ubi.” [Latin]
“Always wear underwear.” [English translation]

Business people wear uniforms, though they may not think of what they wear as being such. They usually have greater leeway in choices of colors and patterns and styles and in choosing where to buy their clothes. Uniforms rules for business people are either stated openly in employee manuals and by workplace supervisors, or individual business people are expected to arrive at their own understanding of how to dress based on their own observations of other business people.

“With an evening coat and a white tie, anybody, even a stockbroker, can gain a reputation for being civilized.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

Women’s clothes have buttons on the left side, while men’s clothes have buttons on the right side. When buttons were invented, they were expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Because women were dressed by maids or servants, and because most people are right-handed, dressmakers placed the buttons where they would be easily reached. Men’s clothes had the button on the right, because they tended to dress themselves. Additionally, as men’s and women’s clothing became more similar and was mass produced and mass marketed, some type of way to easily tell men’s and women’s clothing apart was needed.

“It is difficult to see why lace should be so expensive, it is mostly holes.” -Mary Wilson Little (possibly born about 1880)

Fond pride of dress is sure a very curse;
Ere fancy you consult, consult your purse.
-Author Unknown

Frank: Do you have holes in your clothes?
Ernest: No, of course not.
Frank: Then how do you get them on?

Evelyn: I think the clothes dryer must have shrunk my blouse. The collar is so tight that I can hardly breathe.
Daniel: Don’t be silly; you have put your head through the buttonhole.

“Dress like you are already the successful person you hope to become.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I wear V-neck shirts. I can’t wear a regular neck shirt, it hurts. And I especially hate turtlenecks. Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy all day.” -Mitch Hedberg (1968 - 2005)

“Labels on garments stating ‘One Size Fits All’ or even One Size Fits Most’ are a very un-funny joke that has been played on all of us for far too long - is there a lawyer somewhere out there who is willing to defend us against this kind of false advertising?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Euripides.
Euripides, who?
Euripides pants and you won’t get another pair!

“Know first who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly.” -Euripides (480 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“Nothing else you can wear will ever make you feel as warm as a wedding band.” -Marilyn vos Savant (born 1946): “Ask Marilyn” (25 September 2005)

Marie de Medici, a member of that famous Italian family and a 17th-century queen of France, had expensive tastes in clothes. One of her dresses was outfitted with 39,000 tiny pearls and 3,000 diamonds, and cost the equivalent of $20 million at the time it was made, in 1606. She wore it just once.

“She wears her clothes as if they had been thrown on her with a pitchfork.” -Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745)

“You’re never fully dressed without a smile.” -Martin Charnin (born 1934)

“Dress for success. Image is very important. People judge you by the way you look on the outside.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

Question: What did the shoe say to the hat?
Answer: You go on ‘a-head,’ and I will follow you ‘on foot.’

“What belts do is finish a look. Whether you’re wearing pants, jeans, a dress or skirt, a belt gives the outfit a finishing touch. It’s polished.” -Julie Helman

“Good clothes open all doors.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734)

You will always look simply smashing in properly chosen garments . . . much more to learn is coming up next . . . on MFOL!

0 Comments

Accidents and Safety

12/4/2019

0 Comments

Marvin: Safety first!
Vincent: Sounds good - then what comes after that?
Marvin: That’s a good question, and I’m glad you asked.
Vincent: So what’s the answer?
Marvin: The answer is . . . I don’t know!

“Be always sure you’re right - then go ahead.” -David Crockett (David ‘Davy’ Crockett (1786 - 1836)): “Autobiography” (1834)

In the United States of America, forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute. Chained dogs are three times more likely to bite than unchained dogs. This is amusing only if you happen to be a dog.

Rubin: Who was responsible for the Green Car Crash in 1963?
Robin: “The Green Car Crash” is Andy Warhol’s most famous painting. It was sold at auction on 16 May 2007 for 71.7 million U.S. dollars (about 42.3 million British pounds). Andy Warhol caused the Green Car Crash to happen by applying paint to canvas.

About thirteen people meet their end every year from vending machines, usually from trying to tip or shake the machines, and the machines then falling over onto them.

“Accident: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.” -Author Unknown

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

In 2001, there were reportedly more than 300 banana-related accidents in Great Britain, most involving people slipping on banana peels.

There was a young lady named Hannah,
Who slipped on a peel of banana.
     More stars she espied
     As she lay on her side
Than are found in the Star Spangled Banner.

A gentleman sprang to assist her;
He picked up her glove and her wrister;
     “Did you fall, Ma’am?” he cried;
     “Do you think,” she replied,
“I sat down for the fun of it, Mister?”

by Author Unknown: as published in Anonymous, editor: “The Smile on the Face of the Tiger: A Collection of Limericks” (1908)

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

“Safety is no accident.” -Author Unknown

Sound Advice

When in danger,
    Or in doubt,
Run in circles,
    Scream, and shout!

by Author Unknown

Cows kill more people than sharks. About ten people meet their end by sharks every year but nearly one hundred people meet their end each year from being stepped on by cows.

“I saw this water-safety manual that actually says if a shark attacks, you should poke it in the eyes! Who wrote that, the Three Stooges?” -Larry Reeb

More people meet their end from falling coconuts then from shark attacks.

A guy walked into work, and both of his ears were bandaged. The boss said, “What happened to your ears?” The guy said, “Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the iron.” The boss said, “Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?” He said, “Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!”

Forty-four percent of people have broken at least one of their bones at some time in their lives.

“Do not ride in cars: they are responsible for 20 percent of all fatal accidents. . . Do not stay at home: 17 percent of all accidents occur in the home . . . Do not walk on the streets or pavements: 14 percent of all accidents occur to pedestrians . . . Do not travel by air, rail, or water: 16 percent of all accidents happen on these . . . Only .001 percent of all deaths occur in worship services in church, and these are usually related to previous physical disorders . . . Hence the safest place for you to be at any time is at church!” -Mark Leslie

Approximately 40,000 people are bitten by cats in the United States of America annually. Kitty has claws - and teeth!

“Charlie Brown got hit with a line-drive!”
“Does anyone here know anything about first-aid?”
“It’s probably not serious . . . Second or third-aid will do.”
-Charles M. Schulz: “The Complete Peanuts: 1965 to 1966” (August 2007)

In 1099, Christian knights trained as laypersons in medical care organized the Order of Saint John, specifically to treat battlefield injuries. In 1878, the term ‘first-aid’ appeared, as a combination of the terms ‘first treatment’ and ‘National Aid.’ First-aid is the act of giving immediate attention to injured, sickened, or otherwise adversely affected persons.

A first-aid kit consists of items used to treat injured or ill people, and typically includes bandages, absorbent cotton, gauze, medical tape, antimicrobial substances, and aspirin. First aid kits, often with lists of contents and instruction booklets or foldouts for treating common ailments, are now found in vehicles, homes, businesses, jobsites, schools, and other places that people frequent.

“Remember, it is not first-aid kits or other equipment that saves lives, but people and their knowledge of how to use them that saves lives.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

First-aid training provides people with knowledge and mock practice in methods used to recognize, assess, and treat emergency medical and other conditions on the spot. The training typically covers how to respond to people who are choking or asphyxiating from blocked breathing passages, are found unconscious, have broken bones, bleeding wounds, seizures, or symptoms of shock or dehydration. Some advanced training courses include techniques used in treating severe allergic symptoms, childbirth, determining if a person can be transported for medical care, and responding to people who are acting erratically. Among the first steps in first-aid care is contacting first responders or emergency services providers such as police, fire, rescue, and ambulance, or sending any available person to seek such assistance, while another person remains at the location with the person who is need of care.

“After hearing two eyewitness accounts of the same accident, you begin to wonder about history.” -Author Unknown

“Protective measures will prevent costly disasters.” -Author Unknown

“How did the accident happen?” the doctor asked the patient. “The sign said ‘Stop, Look, Listen,’ and while I was doing that a train ran over me.”

“The pedestrian who always insists on getting his rights usually gets his rites.” -Author Unknown

Why is it called quicksand when it pulls you down in so slowly?

By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink in quicksand. Now quick, where can we find some quicksand to try this out?

Tania: What do you get when a dinosaur smashes everything in its path?
Nadia: Tyrannosaurus wrecks!

Are some people ‘accident prone’? Possibly they are, or maybe they need to be made aware of safety measures and accident prevention. However, it is also worth looking into the conditions and surroundings in which people find themselves. Steps can be taken to make accidents less likely, such as keeping places clean of debris and making sure surfaces on which people walk are not slippery. Tools and machines should be put away and unplugged when not in use. All equipment should be maintained and kept in good working order. People who work with tools, equipment, supplies, vehicles, and so forth, should be trained on how to use them, how to maintain them, and what to do in the event of accidents, because truth be told, all humans and even our animal friends are to some extent ‘accident prone.’

“Accident: An inevitable occurrence due to the action of immutable natural laws.” -Ambrose Bierce (Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (1842 - 1914))

“He’s so unlucky that he runs into accidents which started out to happen to somebody else.” -Don Marquis (Donald Robert Perry ‘Don’ Marquis (1878 - 1937))

Dystychiphobia is a persistent fear that accidents will occur or that oneself might be the cause of accidents. People with this phobia may fear harming themselves or others or property. Dystychiphobia could be one reason some people are afraid of flying in airplanes and driving automobiles. However, it should be noted that it doesn’t necessarily apply to skiing, because if you go skiing, no matter who you are, you are going to have an accident - we’re kidding - you should go skiing!

A little old lady who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse broke her leg. As the doctor put the cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several months later, the doctor took off the cast. “Can I climb stairs now?” asked the little old lady. “Yes,” the doctor replied. “Thank goodness!” she said. “I’m sick and tired of shinnying up and down that drain pipe.”

The largest number of fatal car accidents occur on Saturdays.

“Had this been an actual emergency, we already would have fled in terror - and you would not have been notified!” -Author Unknown

Things You Ought Not Do - For Safety Reasons!
- Stare at the Sun and go blind.
- Lick metal during the winter and get your tongue stuck frozen to it.
- Tug on Superman’s cape.
- Try to pet or touch a wild animal.
- Drive a vehicle across railroad tracks when the signal indicates a train is coming.

Gerald: Why do ships and aircraft in trouble use ‘mayday’ as their call for help?
Gerard: It comes from the French word ‘m’aidez,’ meaning ‘help me,’ which is pronounced like ‘mayday.’

“Safety is something a lot of people learn by accident.” -Author Unknown

Each year, more people meet their demise from donkeys than from airplane crashes.

“Practical realist: Someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.” -Author Unknown

“Accidents don’t just happen - they are caused!” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . as you head out into the world, always remember the motto, “Safety first” . . . then just do whatever comes next . . .

0 Comments

Magic

12/4/2019

0 Comments

“Magic is all around, you just have to believe.” -Author Unknown

“The art of a magician is to create wonder. If we all live with a sense of wonder, our lives will become filled with joy.” -The Great Doug Henning

In 1799, Count de Grisley became the first magician to perform the trick of sawing a woman in half, and ever since then, women everywhere have been eagerly lining up to be sawed in half - or perhaps not!

First Magician: What happened to the saw-a-woman-in-half act you used to do?
Second Magician: My assistant left me - she moved to New York and Los Angeles.

Magic Words
- Abracadabra!
- Hocus-pocus!
- Hot potato, jump-rope, kick-the-can!
- Parsley, peas, potatoes!
- Presto, change-o!
- Many magicians create their own magic phrases, and so can you.

Boris: Why did the magician have to cancel his show?
Doris: He had just washed his hare and could not do anything with it.

The word ‘abracadra’ may have originated from the Aramaic phrase ‘avra kehdabra’ meaning ‘I will create as I speak.’

Howie: How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Howard: That is one trick they do not know - and besides, that is why they have assistants!

A Magician from Vermont

A magician who came from Vermont
Sawed a woman in half for a stunt.
When she mildly asked whether
He would put her together,
He replied, “I’ve decided I won’t.”

by Author Unknown

“Magic is believing in yourself. If you can do that, you can make anything happen.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

One technique for creating funny magic words is to ask for audience participation. Would someone please name a color? Would someone please name an animal? Would someone please name a food? Then you combine their answers, which might make something silly, such as, “Purple elephant ice cream!” which you use as the ‘magic words’ during your show.

Abracadabbler: An amateur magician.

Examples of Magic Tricks
- Pulling a coin out from behind someone’s ear.
- Making a person or an object disappear and then reappear.
- Cutting something in half or destroying it and then making it reappear whole and undamaged, as for example, money or a handkerchief.
- Levitating (floating) someone or something.
- Can you think of other magic tricks?

A magician was driving down a road when, Poof! - he turned into a parking lot.

Just as there are silent movies with musical accompaniment, there are magicians who perform without speaking, sometimes with dramatic music played during their shows or even a person who stands offstage or a short distance from the magician’s side and narrates, or describes what is happening, during the show, by reading from a memorized or printed prepared script.

“Magic is a secret, and without the secret there is no magic.” -Author Unknown

“Magic exists. Who can doubt it, when there are rainbows and wildflowers, the music of the wind and the silence of the stars? Anyone who has loved has been touched by magic. It is such a simple and such an extraordinary part of the lives we live.” -Nora Roberts: “Charmed” (1993)

“I had loved magic tricks from the time I was six or seven. I bought books on magic. I did magic acts for my parents and their friends. I was aiming for show business from early days, and magic was the poor man’s way of getting in: you buy a trick for $2, and you’ve got an act.” -Steve Martin: “Time Magazine” (24 August 1987)

“Perform as many times as you can in front of people you don’t know.” -Lance Burton, advice to those who would be magicians

Camilla: You know, I have half a mind to become a professional magician.
Pamela: That should do.

One way to make yourself and your magic show memorable is to do something that is unusual, different, or unique. For example, maybe you could use fruit such as apples, oranges, and bananas in your act. Make a piece of fruit disappear and reappear, and then toss it to a member of the audience. Make a piece of fruit levitate, and then throw it to someone in your audience. You could have someone dressed in a gorilla costume as your assistant. Instead of pulling a live rabbit or a toy rabbit out of a hat, you could pull balloon animals out of your hat and then hand them to children in the audience. Put your imagination to work!

“We do not need magic to change the world. We carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.” -J. K. Rowling (born 1966): in a speech (2008) to Harvard Alumni Association

If you were going to pull a rabbit out of a hat, would you wave a magic wand . . . or would you entice the rabbit by waving a bright orange carrot?

“Spring animals are fake animals that are often used by magicians, clowns, comedians, and other entertainers. They can be made to appear very realistic with practice. The basic construction of the animal is of a spring wrapped in either real or artificial animal fur. Different colored fur is used for different spring animals.” -Greg McMahan

Whether you are an amateur or a professional magician, you must consider safety before doing any magic. You might develop a safety checklist to go over before each show. You would probably want to avoid using fire and flames and heat to avoid injuries to yourself, your assistant, any living creatures used in your act, and your audience members, and to avoid costly damage to your equipment or the building in which you are doing your show. If you use live animals, you will want to have the telephone number of more than one veterinarian in case an animal becomes sick or injured. You will likely want to either exercise caution or even completely avoid using anything with a sharp edge that could injure someone, including breakable glass and knives. Once you are certain everything is safe, get the show started and have fun!

A magician seeking to have his act booked at Radio City Music Hall asserted, “I’ve got a trick that will panic them.” “What is it?” asked the manager. “I saw a woman in half,” announced the magician proudly. “You call that a new trick?” scoffed the manager. “Why, they’ve been doing that around here for years.” “Oh, yeah,” snapped the magician. “How about lengthwise?”

Ask for a volunteer from the audience. Tell the person to take a coin from his or her pocket and hold it up in a closed fist so that you cannot see the date on the coin, and announce that you are going to tell everyone the date. Then, you say today’s date, which might be, for example, something like, “It’s Saturday, April 30, 2021,” even though the actual date on the coin might be something like just the year 1983. This is usually good for a laugh from the audience.

The teacher was discussing different jobs held by the parents of the students. When she called on Little Johnny, she asked, “And what does your father do?” “Oh, he’s a magician,” replied Johnny. “Really - and what’s his best trick?” “His best trick is sawing people in half.” “Wonderful!” exclaimed the teacher. “Tell me, are there any more children in your family?” “Yes ma’am, I have a half-brother and two half-sisters.”

Magicians and their magic acts are the center of their shows; however, magicians may have assistants. A magician’s assistant often does not speak during the magic acts, but stands by quietly and helps with the props or becomes a prop in the act, as when he or she is made to disappear, is sawed in half, or is levitated. Sometimes magicians encourage audience participation by asking people to be part of a magic act or to provide simple props such as coins or bills. While these audience members may seem to be randomly chosen people who are like everyone else in the audience, they actually may be friends or people the magician met with before the show and practiced the act with to be sure everything goes as planned.

Marlene: Why did illusionist Harry Houdini spend hours at the gym?
Arlene: He wanted to be fit to be tied.

If you did the old magic trick of sawing a lady in half, and you put the top half together with another lady, what you’d have is a ‘gallon a half’ . . . quite possibly that joke needs a little more work . . .

Magicians We Have Yet to See
- Cheery Houdini . . . the happy, smiling clown-magician.
- Dairy Houdini . . . the magic moo-cow.
- Fairy Houdini . . . does sprightly winged magic.
- Hairy Houdini . . . the magic monkey with a human assistant.
- Harry Linguini . . . the pasta chef magician.
- Harry Whoodini . . . the magician who gives a hoot like an owl.
- Hippie Houdini . . . does groovy magic with peace and love, man.
- Santa Houdini . . . arrives in a magic flying sleigh and pulls Christmas toys from a magic sack.
- Scary Houdini . . . shows up at your door on Halloween and makes your candy magically disappear.

The most accomplished female magician in the world is Dorothy Dietrich. She performs regularly at the Houdini Museum in Scranton, Pennsylvania, United States of America. She is also a ‘debunker,’ or someone who exposes lies, deceptions, and false ideas.

Allison: What does a martial arts magician say?
Allie: Jitsu-judo-karate . . . chop!

“You know, I do believe in magic. I was born and raised in a magic time, in a magic town, among magicians. Oh, most everybody else didn’t realize we lived in that web of chance and circumstance. But I knew it all along. When I was twelve years old, the world was my magic lantern, and by its glow I saw the past, the present, and into the future. You probably did too; you just don’t recall it. See, this is my opinion: we all start out knowing magic. We are born with whirlwinds, lightning bugs, and comets inside us. We are born able to sing to birds and read the clouds and see our destiny in dewdrops. But then we get the magic educated right out of our souls. We get it disciplined out, washed out, and combed out. We are told to be responsible. Told to act our age. Told to grow up for goodness’ sake. And you know why we were told that? Because the people doing the telling were afraid of our wildness and youth, and because the magic we knew made them ashamed and sad of what they had allowed to wither in themselves. After you go so far away from it, though, you can never really get it all back. You can get seconds of it. Just seconds of knowing and remembering. When people get weepy at movies, it is because in that dark theater the golden pool of magic is touched, just briefly. Then they come out into the harsh sunlight of logic and reason again and it dries up, and they are left feeling a little heart-sad and not knowing why. When a song stirs a memory, when motes of dust twirling in a shaft of light takes your attention from the world, when you listen to a coyote howling in the distance and wonder what it might be saying, you step beyond who you are and where you are. For the briefest of instants, you have stepped into the magic realm.” -Author Unknown

In addition to their costumes, magicians have ‘props’ that they use in their magic acts. Typical props might be a deck of playing cards, a small lightweight table with a tablecloth, several colored handkerchiefs, rabbits, birds, large coins, and specially made items for tricks.

“Cats are magical . . . the more you pet them, the longer you both live.” -Author Unknown (We suspect that some sneaky cat slipped that line in here, because it is not exactly relevant to this topic.)

Famous People Who Started Out As Magicians
- Bob Barker
- Milton Berle
- Bill Bixby
- Johnny Carson
- Dick Cavett
- Charles Dickens
- Cary Grant
- Steve Martin
- Jimmy Stewart
- Dick van Dyke
- How about you?

“A little magic can take you a long way.” -Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990): “James and the Giant Peach” (1961)

A magician’s costume is commonly a top hat, a magic wand, and a set of clothes meant to help hold the audience’s attention through the use of eye-catching colors, quaint old-fashionedness, or an exotic appearance. A magician’s clothes may have many hidden pockets sewn into them. Some magicians also wear capes, false mustaches, false eyebrows, false beards, face paint, and other theatrical effects.

Martin: Have you heard about the magician who fell through the floorboards in the middle of his performance?
Marvin: Yes, but it is all right - he was just ‘going through a stage.’

“As a magician I promise never to reveal the secret of any illusion to a non-magician, unless that one swears to uphold the Magician’s Oath in turn. I promise never to perform any illusion for any non-magician without first practicing the effect until I can perform it well enough to maintain the illusion of magic.” -Author Unknown: Magician’s Oath

“That’s the thing with magic. You’ve got to know it’s still here, all around us, or it just stays invisible for you.” -Charles de Lint (born 1951)

People who learn to do magic in front of an audience also learn showmanship: timing, quick comebacks, appropriateness and inappropriateness of certain language, and the skill of continuing on even when things go wrong.

Whenever something goes wrong in your magic show, just tell your audience, “That is just how I planned it!” Then pause momentarily and continue on to your next trick.

Attempts have been made to link performance magic, or magic tricks, to occultism, but this is a misuse of magic by occultists to try to make their occult beliefs appealing to people, and thereby draw people into occultism. Performance magic stands on its own and is not to be confused with occultism.

Double or Nothing Magic Trick. Tell a friend or an adult that you will be able to double their money without buying anything, going on the Stock Exchange, or using a computer. Then ask them for a dollar bill. Simply fold the bill in half and say, “There! I doubled your money!”

“The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.” -Bertrand A. Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

“Shazam!” is a magic acronymic word created from Solomon, Hercules, Atlas, Zeus, Achilles, and Mercury, and it is said to invoke their powers. An acronym is a word created typically by combining the first letter in each word in a phrase or list.

“The world is its own magic.” -Shunryu Suzuki (1904 - 1971)

Some magic wands are hollow inside to conceal handkerchiefs, powders that produce puffs like smoke but without fire or flames, or shiny colorful glitter. Magic wands can be made from rolled-up sheets of paper or wood or plastic sticks. Magicians typically wave their magic wands or tap other props such as their magic hats atop their heads, while saying magic words such as, “Abrakadabra alakazam, let’s hope it goes as planned!”

“Everything is made out of magic: leaves and trees, flowers and birds, badgers and foxes, and squirrels and people. So it must be all around us. In this garden - in all the places.” -Frances Hodgson Burnett (1849 - 1924): “The Secret Garden” (1911)

What do magicians have in common with clowns, actors, musicians, and authors? Like the aforementioned folks, most professional, part-time, and amateur magicians have stage names, or names that they use in association with their magic acts, often in conjunction with somewhat exaggerated descriptive words about their acts and personas. Their stage names include words such ‘the Great’ or ‘the Amazing.’ So, if you are Jimmy O’Reilly in your private life, you might take up your hat, wand, and cape to become ‘Jacob the Fantastical Wizard of Illusion and Master of Magical Mayhem’ or if you are Sarah Sumner in your personal life, you might grab your rabbits, doves, baby chicks, and artificial flowers to become ‘the Astounding Animal Acts and Flying Floral Arrangements of Mrs. Priscilla Piccadilly’ (any resemblance to persons living or otherwise is purely coincidental). Even the magical Harry Houdini had a real name: Erich Weiss (born Erik Weisz and also known as Harry Weiss and possibly by other names (1874 - 1926)).

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you, because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” -Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990): “The Minpins” (1990)

This is MFOL! . . . all it takes is a little magic . . . and for our next act, we will be doing more silly fun stuff . . .

0 Comments

Mistakes and Errors

12/3/2019

0 Comments

“No one is perfect - that’s why pencils have erasers.” -Wolfgang Riebe: “100 Quotes to Make You Think” (28 February 2011)

Charles: How can one person makes so many mistakes in a single day?
Chuck: I get up early.

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You are doing things you have never done before, and more importantly, you are doing something. So that is my wish for you, and all of us. And my wish for myself. Make new mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody has ever made before. Do not freeze, do not stop, do not worry that it is not good enough, or it is not perfect, whatever it is. Art, or love, or work, or family, or life. Whatever it is you are scared of doing, do it. Make your mistakes. Next year and forever and ever.” -Neil Gaiman (Neil Richard MacKinnon Gaiman (born 1960))

“Mistakes are proof that you are trying.” -Author Unknown

“People seldom make the same mistake twice - usually it is ten or more times that they do so!” -Author Unknown

We are human.
We are not perfect.
We are alive.
We try things.
We make mistakes.
We stumble. We fall.
We get hurt. We rise again.
We try again.
We keep learning.
We keep growing.
And we are thankful
for this priceless
opportunity called life.
-Author Unknown

“From the errors of others, a wise man corrects his own.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“Making mistakes does not make you unworthy of love - it makes you human.” -Author Unknown

A Mistake

A mistake that I made said, “My Dear,
I’m dreadfully sorry I’m here,
But my feet are so big,
And my nails cut and dig,
So I’ll be here for a while, I fear.”

by Author Unknown

“A mistake shows that someone tried to do something.” -Author Unknown

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes and I don’t regret any of them. Sometimes that’s the only way you learn.” -Nick Nolte (Nicholas King ‘Nick’ Nolte (born 1941))

“What do you first do when you learn to swim? You make mistakes, do you not? And what happens? You make other mistakes, and when you have made all the mistakes you possibly can without drowning - and some of them many times over - what do you find? That you can swim? Well - life is just the same as learning to swim! Do not be afraid of making mistakes, for there is no other way of learning how to live!” -Alfred Adler (1870 - 1937)

“We all make mistakes, but everyone makes different mistakes.” -Ludwig van Beethoven (1770 - 1827)

“Remember your past mistakes just long enough to profit by them.” -Clinton D. McKinnon (Clinton Dotson McKinnon (1906 - 2001))

“Even monkeys fall from trees.” [English translation]
“Saru mo ki kara ochiru.” [original Japanese in English characters]
猿も木から落ちる [original Japanese]
-Author Unknown: Japanese proverb

“My friend Danny Breslin from Florida tells the story of two men who were sitting on a bench in London’s Hyde Park. They wanted to go shopping in Oxford Street. One of them got up and started walking in the wrong direction, but he asked the way and a passerby put him right. He finally arrived at the shops but the other man just stayed on the bench. That guy who was walking in the wrong direction was on his way. Even his mistakes were part of getting there. The guy on the bench got nowhere. So if it feels right, give it a whirl, says Danny.” -Celia Haddon (born 1945)

“Your past mistakes are meant to guide you, not define you.” -Author Unknown

“We learn to walk by stumbling.” -Author Unknown: Bulgarian proverb

“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” -Emily Kimbrough (1899 - 1989)

“Even if you stumble, you’re still moving forward.” -Author Unknown

“Today is a new day. You will get out of it just what you put into it. If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. And supposing you have tried and failed again and again, you may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” -Mary Pickford (born Gladys Louise Smith, also known as Gladys Marie Pickford (1893 - 1979))

“The wisest of the wise may err.” -Aeschylus (525 B.C.E. - 456 B.C.E.)

“My life is full of mistakes. They’re like pebbles that make a good road.” -Beatrice Wood (1893 - 1998)

“In school we learn that mistakes are bad, and we are punished for making them. Yet if you look at the way humans are designed to learn, we learn by making mistakes. We learn to walk by falling down. If we never fell down, we would never walk.” -Robert T. Kiyosaki (Robert Toru Kiyosaki (born 1947))

“A mistake is a lesson on its way to being learned.” -Robert Orben (born 1927)

“Mistakes are just steps, sometimes necessary, in the learning process.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“When you make a mistake, don’t look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.” -Hugh L. White: as quoted in Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894), editor: “The New Dictionary of Thoughts” (1927)

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)): “The Note Book of Elbert Hubbard” (1927)

“One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.” -Author Unknown

You may have noticed a large number of mistakes and errors on the Make Fun Of Life! Website. We have made them deliberately, for the benefit of the people who enjoy pointing out mistakes . . . because we want everyone to be happy!

“You make mistakes. Mistakes don’t make you.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“If you’re not making mistakes then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes.” -John Wooden (John Robert Wooden (1910 - 2010))

“Don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones.” -Author Unknown

“Only some of us learn by other people’s mistakes; the rest of us have to be the other people.” -Author Unknown

“To avoid situations in which you might make mistakes may be the biggest mistake of all.” -Peter McWilliams (Peter Alexander McWilliams (1949 - 2000))

“Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don’t look back at it too long. Mistakes are life’s way of teaching you.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“One mistake does not have to rule a person’s entire life.” -Joyce Meyer (born 1943 as Pauline Joyce Hutchison): “Any Minute” (30 June 2009)

“Mistakes are the portals of discovery.” -James Joyce (1882 - 1941)

“Just because you made a mistake doesn’t mean you are a mistake.” -Georgette Mosbacher (born 1947)

“Mistakes are the usual bridge between inexperience and wisdom.” -Phyllis Theroux (Phyllis Grissim-Theroux (born 1939))

“We’ve all heard that we have to learn from our mistakes, but I think it’s more important to learn from successes. If you learn only from your mistakes, you are inclined to learn only errors.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Making mistakes does not mean you’re a failure. It just means you’re trying and learning in life.” -Author Unknown

“If you must make a mistake, make a new one each time.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnegey (1888 - 1955)))

“You are making progress if each mistake you make is a new one.” -Author Unknown

“Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life.” -Sophia Loren (pseudonym of Sophia Sciccoloni (born 1934))

“Show us a man who never makes a mistake and we will show a man who never makes anything. The capacity for occasional blundering is inseparable from the capacity to bring things to pass.” -Herman Lincoln Wayland (1830 - 1898)

“We don’t make mistakes. We just have learnings.” -Anne Wilson Schaef (born 1934)

“No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road, turn back.” -Author Unknown: Turkish proverb

“Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to the error that counts.” -Nikki Giovanni (Yolande Cornelia ‘Nikki’ Giovanni, Junior (born 1943))

“I would rather surround myself with people who make a lot of mistakes and have no problem admitting them, than to surround myself with people who think they make none.” -Author Unknown

“The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnegey (1888 - 1955)))

“I’ve failed over and over again in my life, and that is why I succeed.” -Michael Jordan (born 1963)

“The main thing we learn from our mistakes . . . is that we make a lot of them.” -Author Unknown

“While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior.” -Henry C. Link (Henry Charles Link (1889 - 1952))

“There is hardly a mistake which in the course of our lives we have committed, but some proverb, had we known and attended to its lesson, might have saved us from it.” -Richard Chenevix Trench (1807 - 1886): “Proverbs and Their Lessons” (1905)

“No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. Despite our failings, we still deserve respect. Don’t let anyone put you down.” -Author Unknown

Karen: What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
Sharon: Boo-oo-oo-boos!

“Some people never make a mistake, nor do they ever make anything else.” -Author Unknown

“Never think about the mistakes you made. Think about the mistakes you will make.” -Bob Ross (Robert Norman ‘Bob’ Ross (1942 - 1995))

“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” -John Powell (1882 - 1963)

Overheard: I am human and I make mistakes.

“The secret of success is not avoiding mistakes, but learning from them.” -Michael Josephson (born 1942)

“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

“It would be a mistake to not try something for fear of making a mistake.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“No man ever became great or good except through many and great mistakes.” -William Gladstone (William Ewart Gladstone (1809 - 1898))

“It is normal to make mistakes. If people cannot accept that, they do not deserve to be around you.” -Author Unknown

“Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget about everything except what you’re going to do now and do it.” -Will Durant (William James ‘Will’ Durant (1885 - 1981))

Overheard: Have you ever noticed that no one notices you until you make a mistake?

“When you are not afraid to do it wrong the first time, you will eventually get it right.” -Author Unknown

“Making mistakes simply means you are learning faster.” -Weston H. Agor (Weston Harris Agor (1939 - 2007))

“I’ve learned so much from my mistakes that I am thinking about making a few more.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: We all make mistakes. Don’t let that be a reason to give up.

“He who makes no mistakes makes no progress.” -Teddy Roosevelt (Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919))

“A mistake is simply another way of doing things.” -Katharine Graham (Katharine Meyer Graham (1917 - 2001))

“You can learn from your mistakes, so be sure to make some.” -Bil Keane (William Aloysius ‘Bil’ Keane (1922 - 2011))

“By seeking and blundering, we learn.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.” -Author Unknown

“It took me a long time to learn that mistakes aren’t good or bad, they’re just mistakes, and you clean them up and go on.” -Kaye Gibbons (born 1960)

“Mistakes show us what we need to learn.” -Peter McWilliams (Peter Alexander McWilliams (1949 - 2000))

“Whenever you fall, pick up something.” -Oswald Avery (Oswald Theodore Avery, Junior (1877 - 1955))

“By ignorance we make mistakes, and by making mistakes we learn.” -Edmund Fuller

“All great discoveries are made by mistake.” -Author Unknown

“Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.” -Cherie Carter-Scott (born 1939)

“Without mistakes, there would be no accidental discoveries, and without accidental discoveries, there would be far fewer better methods found, far fewer inventions made, and much less beneficial progress. The great untold secret of everything in which humans engage is that much of it would never result in useful outcomes were it not for the vast number of mistakes within it, mistakes that go by the name ‘accidental discoveries.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Life is not life unless you make mistakes.” -Joan Collins (born 1933)

“If you’re making mistakes it means you’re out there doing something.” -Neil Gaiman (Neil Richard MacKinnon Gaiman (born 1960))

“It seems that the necessary thing to do is not to fear mistakes, to plunge in, to do the best that one can, hoping to learn enough from blunders to correct them eventually.” -Abraham Maslow (Abraham Harold Maslow (1908 - 1970))

Well, that about wraps things up for now . . . we are eager to get back to making a whole lot more mistakes . . . because that is how we are certain to learn . . . and to succeed . . . let’s all go out and make some mistakes . . . and continue to Make Fun Of Life!

0 Comments

Manners and Etiquette

11/28/2019

0 Comments

When people speak of ‘quaint old-fashioned manners,’ they seem as if by magic to reappear . . .

Magic Words

There are three little magic words
     That will open any door with ease.
Two little words are “Thank you!”
     And the other little word is “Please!”

by Author Unknown

Elvis: May I have an apple?
Sylvia: What is the magic word?
Elvis: Abracadabra?

Overheard: Try being nice to people, even if it does scare them a little bit at first.

Too Polite

Broad met Stout
At the gate, and each
Was too polite to brush past.
“After you!” said Broad.
“After you!” said Stout.
They got in a dither
And went through together
And both
stuck
fast.

by Ian Serraillier (1912 - 1994)

“The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.” -Fred Astaire (pseudonym of Frederick Austerlitz (1899 - 1987))

Lawrence: What do well-behaved young lambs say to their mothers?
Florence: “Thank ewe!”

“Politeness and consideration for others is like investing pennies and getting dollars back.” -Thomas Sowell (born 1930)

Al: When you yawn, you are supposed to put your hand over your mouth!
Lex: What, and get bitten?!

“Good manners and soft words have brought many a difficult thing to pass.” -John Vanbrugh (1664 - 1726)

Etiquette is the glue that holds society together. It enables people to get on with other human beings without causing offense. It is manners, codified, or formalized. By learning a number of the various rules of etiquette, a person will eventually begin to understand the basic concept and perhaps perceive the overall underlying common thread that makes up the pattern, sometimes called ‘the Golden Rule.’

Netiquette: Manners on the internet, such as not using all-caps, or all-capital letters, which is referred to as, ‘SHOUTING!’

When it comes to jokes and funny stories, before you growl, “I’ve heard that one before,” consider this: Do you stop a pianist who is playing Chopin because you have heard that musical piece before?

Three Nice Mice

Three nice mice!
     Three nice mice!
See how nice they are!
     See how nice they are!
They’re always polite when they nibble their cheese;
     They never forget to say thank you and please;
They cover their noses whenever they sneeze -
     Ahhh ahhh ahhh-choo! (pretend sneeze)
Three nice mice!
     Three nice mice!

by Author Unknown: can be sung to the same melody as that of “Three Blind Mice”

Etiquette and manners vary greatly geographically, culturally, religiously, and by economic classes all around the world. There are even variations by generation or age, gender, trade or profession, subculture, other group identity, and other factors. ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do’ is an old proverb that means one should respect and follow local laws, customs, and manners.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Elbows.
Elbows, who?
Elbows off the table, please!

“Good manners will often take people where neither money nor education will take them.” -Author Unknown

“Manners make man.” [Modern English translation]
“Manners makyth man.” [original Middle English]
-William of Wykeham (1320 - 1404); adopted as the motto of Winchester College and New College in Oxford, England

Overheard: Politeness is an inexpensive way of making friends.

Overheard: Be polite to the aged, because you will be one of them soon enough yourself - if you are fortunate.

“Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without comment is a wonderful social grace.” -Miss Manners (Judith Martin (born 1938))

“I don’t recall your name, but your manners are familiar.” -Oliver Herford (1863 - 1935)

“He was so generally civil, that nobody thanked him for it.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“Hail the small sweet courtesies of life, for smooth do they make the road of it.” -Laurence Sterne (1713 - 1768)

“Manners are of more importance than laws. Manners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, barbarize or refine us, by a constant, steady, uniform, insensible operation, like that of the air we breathe in.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

Mabel: What person do you always take your hat off to?
Abel: The barber.

“Something happens inside of us when we are courteous and deferential toward others. It is all part of a refining process, which if persisted in, will change our very natures.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Nothing is ever lost by courtesy. It is the cheapest of the pleasures; costs nothing and conveys much. It pleases him who gives and him who receives, and thus, like mercy, is twice blessed.” -Erastus Wiman (1834 - 1904): “Chances of Success” (1893)

“Those that are good manners at the court are as ridiculous in the country, as the behavior of the country is most mockable at the court.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

“Good manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.” -Bennett Cerf (1898 - 1971)

“We must recall the most humanitarian guideline of all: be polite. Being polite is possibly the greatest daily contribution everyone can make to life on Earth.” -Caitlin Moran: “How to be a Woman” (16 June 2011)

Jimmy: Don’t you want to be well-mannered and polite?
Jenny: No, thank you!

“Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.” -Author Unknown

Do you recall those quaint old customs and manners of yesteryear? Tip your hats to the ladies, gentlemen. Girls curtsy, and boys bow. A gentleman always has a handkerchief to offer to a lady. A lady drops her handkerchief so that a gentleman can pick it up and hand it to her, a ruse used by the lady to get the gentleman to say a word to her. Gentlemen had calling cards, which they would leave so that people could contact them later. People smiled at strangers as they passed, and often greeted them, as for example, saying, “How do you do?” Well, don’t be sad at their passing - times haven’t changed so much - what’s old can be new again; all it takes is for you to demonstrate the newer versions of these acts yourself when opportunities avail themselves to you, and continue doing them until others begin to emulate you.

“Good manners are just a way of showing other people that we have respect for them.” -Bill Kelly

“One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))

“Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.” -Clarence Thomas (born 1948)

“Should you happen to notice that another person is extremely tall or overweight, eats too much or declines convivial drinks, has red hair, or goes about in a wheelchair, ought to get married or ought not to be pregnant - see if you can refrain from bringing these astonishing observations to that person’s attention.” -Miss Manners (Judith Martin (born 1938)), as quoted in William Safire and Leonard Safir: “Words of Wisdom: More Good Advice” (1989)

“Dressing well is a form of good manners.” -Tom Ford

“Your mood should not dictate your manners.” -Author Unknown

“Associate with well-manner persons and your manners will improve. Run around with decent folk and your own decent instincts will be strengthened.” -Stanley Walker (1898 - 1962)

“Politeness is the art of choosing among one’s real thoughts.” -Madame de Staël (Anna Maria Louis Germaine Necker (1766 - 1817)): as quoted in Abel Stevens (1815 - 1897): “Madame de Staël” (1881)

“Politeness a sign of dignity, not subservience.” -Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919)

“A man has no more right to say an uncivil thing than to act one; no more right to say a rude thing to another than to knock him down.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“A Man without Ceremony has need of great Merit in its Place.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 315

“Manners easily and rapidly mature into morals.” -Horace Mann (1796 - 1859)

“I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners. I don’t like them myself. They’re pretty bad. I grieve over them on long Winter evenings.” -Humphrey Bogart (Humphrey DeForest ‘Bogey’ Bogart (1899 - 1957))

“Politeness makes one appear outwardly as they should be within.” -Jean de la Bruyère (1645 - 1696)

“Visitors should behave in such a way that the host and hostess feel at home.” -J. S. Farynski (Jerzy Stanislaw Farynski)

“He is the very pineapple of politeness!” -Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751 - 1816)

“The knowledge of courtesy and good manners is a very necessary study. It is like grace and beauty, that which begets liking and an inclination to love one another at the first sight.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)): “Essais” (“Essays”) (1595), Book 1, chapter 7

“Politeness costs nothing and gains everything.” -Mary Montagu (Mary Wortley Montagu (1689 - 1762)): letter (30 May 1756) to Mary, Countess of Bute

“Every generation is convinced there has been a deplorable breakdown of manners.” -Byron Dobell (1927 - 2017)

“Politeness is the flower of humanity.” -Joseph Joubert (1754 - 1824)

“Good manners sometimes means simply putting up with other people’s bad manners.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (Harriett Jackson Brown (born 1940))

“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” -Emily Post (1873 - 1960): as attributed in Matthew Gara: “Hey! Let’s Talk It Over” (1967)

“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983): “The Passionate State of Mind” (1955)

“All Doors open to Courtesy.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 512

“To be a successful hostess, when guests arrive say, ‘At last!’ and when they leave say, ‘So soon!’” -Author Unknown

“Being nice to someone you dislike doesn’t mean you’re fake. It means you are mature enough to tolerate your dislike towards them.” -Author Unknown

“We cannot always oblige; but we can always speak obligingly.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“Courtesy that is all on one side cannot last long.” -Author Unknown

“Good manners must be inspired by the good heart. There is no beautifier of complexion, or form, or behavior, like the wish to scatter joy and not pain around us.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Anyone can be polite to a king. It takes a gentleman to be polite to a beggar.” -Author Unknown

“Etiquette is all human social behavior. If you’re a hermit on a mountain, you don’t have to worry about etiquette; if somebody comes up the mountain, then you’ve got a problem. It matters because we want to live in reasonably harmonious communities.” -Miss Manners (Judith Martin (born 1938))

“The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones.” -Gabirol (Solomon Ibn Gabirol (about 1022 - 1058))

“We’ve learned to dress for success, to speak for success. Now we need to learn how to behave for success.” -Marjabelle Young Stewart (1924 - 2007)

“Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“To sleep when others speak, to sit when others stand, to walk on when others stay, to speak when one should hold his peace, or hear others, are all things of ill manners.” -Francis Hawkins (1628 - 1624)

Manners

We say, “Thank you.”
     We say, “Please.”
We don’t interrupt or tease.
     We don’t argue. We don’t fuss.
We listen when folks talk to us.
     We share our toys and take our turn.
Good manners aren’t too hard to learn.
     It’s really easy, when you find
Good manners means
     Just being kind!

by Author Unknown

“Politeness is to do and say the nicest thing in the nicest way.” -Author Unknown

Goodness, how well-mannered you are! You must have had a very good upbringing, or you have taught yourself very well. Perhaps you can teach us a few of your ways of politeness . . . and be sure to come by for a visit from time to time . . . on your way to greatness . . . this is MFOL!

0 Comments

Umbrellas and Parasols

11/25/2019

0 Comments

Dale: What goes up when the rain comes down?
Gail: An umbrella!

Mark Twain once told a story of trying to get rid of a wreck of an old umbrella. First he threw it in a trash can, but someone recognized it as his, and returned it. Then he dropped it down a deep well, but someone repairing the well saw the umbrella, and returned it. He tried several other methods, but always the umbrella came back. “Finally,” said Mr. Twain, “I lent it to a friend, and I never saw it again.”

Shane: If six children and two dogs were under an umbrella, how come none of them got wet?
Shannon: Because it wasn’t raining.

“A rainy day is the only chance an umbrella gets to shine.” -Author Unknown

Judy: Why do people carry umbrellas?
Jude: Because umbrellas can’t walk by themselves.

Umbrellas were originally used to shade people from the sun, like modern parasols, and not to protect people from the rain as they are today. In ancient Greece, umbrellas became a fashion accessory used by men though not women, probably because men tended to be out in the rain more.

It’s raining . . . umbrellas . . .

Bella Had a New Umbrella

Bella had a new umbrella
     Didn’t want to lose it,
So when she walked out in the rain
     She didn’t ever use it.
Her nose went sniff,
     Her shoes went squish,
Her socks grew soggy,
     Her glasses got foggy,
Her pockets filled with water,
     And a little green froggy.
All she could speak
     Was a weak ‘kachoo!’
But Bella’s umbrella
     Stayed nice and new.

by Eve Merriam

“Have you ever noticed how some people are not good at saving money, yet they somehow always manage to save an umbrella for a rainy day?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Keith: Why would anyone need a chicken-proof umbrella?
Kevin: To use in case of fowl weather.

The average life span of cheap umbrellas is one-and-a-half years.

Marla: So what kind of umbrellas do people carry on rainy days?
Marlo: Wet ones.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

Spin and Twirl

Spin, spin the parasol
     Spin it, and it flies away -
When it stops,
     It’s somehow on the ground.

Twirl, twirl the umbrella,
     Water droplets fly everywhere.
Twirl it, twirl it,
     And then twirl it once more!

Parasol or umbrella,
     Twirl or spin,
Collapse them and stow them away,
     To twirl or spin on yet another day.

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

“Spin the parasol three times and repeat after me: I shield in the name of fashion. I accessorize for one and all. Pursuit of truth is my passion. This I vow by the great parasol.” -Gail Carriger

Why are many umbrellas black? When umbrellas first came into popular use in the 18th century, they were made of oil-soaked cotton cloth stretched over whalebone. Oil was applied to the cotton fabric to make it waterproof. It also gave the cloth a black coloration. While this type of umbrella was waterproof, it was not very durable. Soon, better umbrellas were made, and since the color black was associated with effective waterproofing, most of the newer models were dyed black. However, for safety purposes, brightly colored umbrellas, being more visible to motorists, may possibly decrease the likelihood of collisions with pedestrians. Clear umbrellas are also a good choice as they give their holders the ability to see through them.

Your own personal portable cloud-on-a-stick parasol is a great accessory for carrying around on sunny days, and will help keep the sun off your head. This one is made from fluffy cotton and a broken umbrella.

Norman: Did you hear about the responsible umbrella manufacturer?
Norma: Yes, they say he is saving his money for a sunny day.

Umbrellas are among the things of which you should always have at least two, in case you lose an umbrella or need to loan one to a friend. The two best times to buy an umbrella are before you need one and when it is not raining. When it starts raining, umbrellas sell quickly, even at inflated prices, and you might not be able to find one to buy.

“I walked around for a few hours. Around one-thirty it started raining lightly. Almost immediately the umbrella sellers turned up on the street corners. You’d have thought they had existed previously in spore form, springing miraculously to life when a drop of water touched them.” -Lawrence Block (born 1938): “Out on the Cutting Edge” (1989)

A friend is someone who has an umbrella when it is raining . . .

Marshall: What is big and gray and protects people from the rain?
Marsha: An umbrellaphant!

“Going around under an umbrella interferes with one’s looking up at the sky.” -Jerzy Kosinski

Umbrella Etiquette
- Let others stand under your umbrella with you, including people and animals, if your umbrella is large enough, and if the others are not too peculiar.
- Shake the water off your umbrella before entering a building or vehicle, and then either place it inside a plastic bag, in an umbrella stand, or in another place where the water that runs off it will not create a dangerous slippery-slidey floor.

Otis: Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella?
Doris: Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

“All men are equal - all men, that is to say, who possess umbrellas.” -E. M. Forster (Edward Morgan Forster): “Howards End” (1910)

Umbrellas and Parasols Facts
- Umbrellas help keep the rain off people.
- Umbrellas are made of waterproof material.
- Parasols help keep the sunlight off people.
- Parasols are frequently not made of waterproof material.

The rain it raineth on the just
And also on the unjust fella.
But chiefly on the just, because
The unjust steals the just’s umbrella.
-Charles Bowen (Charles Synge Christopher Bowen (1835 - 1894)): as published in Walter Sichel: “Sands of Time” (1923)

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

The Gingham Umbrella

Alphonso, Alphonso, Alphonso and Arabella
     They happened to meet
A man in the street,
     Who carried a gingham umbrella.

Alphonso possessed neither manners nor grace,
     He made at this person a hideous face;
But how different the conduct of sweet Arabella,
     Who praised with politeness the gingham umbrella.

The man was a nobleman, deeply disguised;
     The compliment courteous he pointedly prized;
‘Sweet creature,’ he said, ‘come away from this feller,
     And take both my heart and my gingham umbrella!’

The very next morning they met in the church,
     And foolish Alphonso was left in the lurch;
And they said, ‘In the future you’ll know how to tell a
     Great lord from a loon, by his gingham umbrella!’

by Laura Richards (Laura Elizabeth Richards (1850 - 1943))

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

“It is the habitual carriage of the umbrella that is the stamp of Respectability. The umbrella has become the acknowledged index of social position . . . Crusoe was rather a moralist than a pietist, and his leaf-umbrella is as fine an example of the civilized mind striving to express itself under adverse circumstances as we have ever met with.” -Robert L. Stevenson (Robert Louis Balfour Stevenson (1850 - 1894)) and J. W. Ferrier: “Philosophy of Umbrellas” (1871)

Marissa: What goes up a chimney down, but can’t go down a chimney up?
Clarissa: An umbrella!

We know you can’t wait for it to rain, so that you can try out your new umbrella, with that great new umbrella smell! More fun follows . . . on MFOL!

0 Comments

Idleness and Industriousness

11/19/2019

0 Comments

Up, you sluggard, and get to work . . . or at least do some meaningful activity!

“I was made to work; if you are equally industrious, you will be equally successful.” -Johann Sebastian Bach (1685 - 1750)

“When was the last time you spent a quiet moment just doing nothing - just sitting and looking at the sea, or watching the wind blowing the tree limbs, or waves rippling on a pond, a flickering candle, or children playing in the park?” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955))

“Being forced to work and forced to do your best, will breed in you temperance and self-control, diligence and strength of will, cheerfulness and content, and a hundred virtues which the idle will never know.” -Charles Kingsley (1819 - 1875)

“Doing nothing is very hard to do - you never know when you’re finished.” -Leslie Nielsen

“A human being must have occupation, if he or she is not to become a nuisance to the world.” -Dorothy L. Sayers (Dorothy Leigh Sayers (1893 - 1957))

“Idleness is sweet, and its consequences are cruel.” -John Quincy Adams (1767 - 1848)

“The end of labor is to gain leisure.” -Aristotle (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.)

“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” -Sarah Brown

“A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

Every Day Will be Sunday

A young fellow who did not much enjoy working did some work, figuring out that eventually every day will be Sunday. Every year has 365 days. If you sleep eight hours a day, it equals 122 days. This leaves 243 days. If you rest eight hours a day it equals another 122 days. This leaves 121 days. There are 52 Sundays, thus leaving 69 days. If you have a half-day on Saturday, this equals 26 days, and leaves 43 days. If you have 1 and 1/2 hours for lunch every workday, this equals 28 days, leaving 15 days. Two weeks’ vacation equals 14 days. This leaves only one day. And on Labor Day, nobody works.

by Author Unknown

“Tomorrow is the only day in the year that appeals to a lazy man.” -Jimmy Lyons

“Men who have attained things worth having in this world have worked while others idled, have persevered when others gave up in despair, have practiced early in life the valuable habits of self-denial, industry, and singleness of purpose. As a result, they enjoy in later life the success so often erroneously attributed to good luck.” -Grenville Kleiser (1868 - 1953): as quoted in “The Forbes Scrapbook of Thoughts on the Business of Life” (1950)

“People who have time on their hands will inevitably waste the time of people who have work to do.” -Thomas Sowell (born 1930)

“There is no excellence without labor.” -Author Unknown

“A young boy shouldn’t be given up for hopeless just because he’s lazy, surly, and good for nothing. Don’t be discouraged by those things - maybe he’s just trying to be like his daddy.” -Gracie Allen (Grace Ethel Cecile Rosalie ‘Gracie’ Allen (1895 or 1902 - 1964))

“Determine never to be idle. No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any. It is wonderful how much may be done, if we are always doing.” -Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)

“Too much idleness, I have observed, fills up a man’s time much more completely, and leaves him less his own master, than any sort of employment whatsoever.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

“You get out of anything in proportion to what you put into it.” -Author Unknown

“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow!” -Don Herold (1889 - 1966)

“Laziness and Poverty are cousins.” -Author Unknown

“The forty hour week has no charm for me. I’m looking for the forty hour day!” -Nicholas M. Butler (Nicholas Murray Butler (1862 - 1947))

“Shun idleness. It is the rust that attaches itself to the most brilliant metals.” -Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Don’t just sit there like a bump on a log!” -Author Unknown

“Laziness grows on people; it begins in cobwebs, and ends in iron chains. The more business a man has, the more he is able to accomplish; for he learns to economize his time.” -Matthew Hale (1609 - 1676): as quoted in Tryon Edwards “A Dictionary of Thoughts” (1908), page 242

Overheard: I am allergic to lazy people.

“Laziness is contagious just like hard work is. I didn’t give myself an opportunity to be lazy and I didn’t surround myself with people who are lazy.” -Michael Chandler

In Works of Labor or of Skill I would be busy too:
For Satan finds some mischief still for idle Hands to do.
-Isaac Watts (1674 - 1748): “Divine Songs for Children” (1715)

“He did nothing in particular, and he did it very well.” -W. S. Gilbert (William Schwenk Gilbert (1836 - 1911))

“Doing nothing results in having nothing.” -Daniel Burke

Dede: What kind of shoes do lazy people wear?
Bebe: Loafers.

“It’s not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is, what are we busy about?” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us. We need hours of aimless wandering or spates of time sitting on park benches, observing the mysterious world of ants and the canopy of treetops.” -Maya Angelou (Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

“We will be friends forever because I am too lazy to find new ones.” -Author Unknown

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the blue sky, is by no means waste of time.” -Lord Avebury (John Lubbock (1834 - 1913)): “The Use of Life” (1894), chapter IV: ‘Recreation’

“The only problem with having nothing to do is you can’t stop and rest.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980))

“Human beings find less rest in idleness than in a change of occupation. If you scoff at the idea, just try it. Instead of collapsing in an easy chair, try tackling your hobby. Or write that neglected letter, or help Johnny to build that radio receiver set. Activity - especially creative activity - is far better recreation than loafing.” -Gardner Hunting (Henry Gardner Hunting (1872 - 1958)): as quoted in “Weekly Unity” magazine

“Laziness may appear attractive, but work gives satisfaction.” -Anne Frank (1929 - 1945): “The Diary of a Young Girl”

If little labor, little are our gains;
Man’s fortunes are according to his pains.
-Robert Herrick (1591 - 1674)

“Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.” -attributed to Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

How can we help sluggards become better people? We can urge them on to becoming workers by letting them experience the consequences of their idleness. According to holy scripture, “For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat. For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies. Now those who are such we command and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘2nd Thessalonians,’ chapter 3, verses 10 through 12

“In idleness there is perpetual despair.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.” -Jules Renard (Pierre-Jules Renard (1864 - 1910))

“The idler does not waste time; he merely wastes himself.” -Author Unknown

“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” -Marthe Troly-Curtin: “Phrynette Married” (1912), page 256

“Lazy people tend not to take chances, but express themselves by tearing down other’s work.” -Ann Rule

Overheard: I am going to do nothing all day today, starting just as soon as I am finished doing the nothing I did all day yesterday . . .

“One monster there is in the world, the idle man.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

Rules for Lazy People

1. If you cannot reach it easily, you do not need it.
2. Get it done - but just not today.
3. It is always somebody else’s job.

by Author Unknown

“Make rest a necessity, not an objective. Only rest long enough to gather strength.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

Lazy people work harder . . . at being lazy, that is!

“Men are generally idle, and ready to satisfy themselves, and intimidate the industry of others, by calling that impossible which is only difficult.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“I don’t mind coming to work, but the eight hours of waiting to go home again is really just too much.” -Author Unknown

“Laziness never arrived at the attainment of a good wish.” -Miguel de Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1547 - 1616))

“There is no such thing as a lazy person; he is either sick or uninspired.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

What might someone be other than lazy? Tired, fearful, sad, overwhelmed, in physical pain, in emotional pain, shy . . . Can you think of anything else?

“He who would do some great thing in this short life, must apply himself to the work with such a concentration of his forces as to the idle spectators, who live entirely to amuse themselves, looks like insanity.” -John Foster: as quoted in C. N. Douglas (Charles Noel Douglas (1863 - 1920)), compiler: “Forty Thousand Quotations: Prose and Poetical” (1917)

“Lazy people are always anxious to be doing something.” -Luc de Clapiers (1715 - 1747)

“A sluggard does not plow in season; so at harvest time he looks but finds nothing.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Proverbs,’ chapter 20, verse 4

“Lazy people are good for just one thing, and that is, making mediocre people look like they have accomplished something in life.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“The dog that trots about finds a bone.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: My dog is so lazy that he hires other dogs to chase cats for him.

Dwight: Why did the lazy woman have a great big dog?
Edwin: So she would not have to bend down far to pet it.

“If idleness does not produce vice or malevolence, it commonly produces melancholy.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845): attributed in “The Review of Education” (May 1902)

“Laziness is a luxury that few people can afford.” -Igor Stravinsky (1882 - 1971)

“If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.” -Author Unknown

“Be sure to keep busy, so the devil may always find you occupied.” -Vegetius (Publius Flavius Vegetius Renatus)

“Laziness travels so slowly, that Poverty soon overtakes him.” -Benjamin Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790))

“Merit and fame never crown the lazy.” -Author Unknown

“It is necessary to work, if not from inclination, at least from despair. Everything considered, work is less boring than amusing oneself.” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)

“If you want work well done, select a busy man - the other kind has no time.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)): as quoted in Elbert Hubbard II, compiler: “The Note Book of Elbert Hubbard” (1927)

“Laziness is the seed of all evil.” -Author Unknown: Welsh saying

“He who labors diligently need never despair; for all things are accomplished by diligence and labor.” -Menander of Athens (342 B.C.E. - 291 B.C.E.)

“The hardest work in life is resisting laziness.” -Author Unknown

“Work is no disgrace: it is idleness which is a disgrace.” -Hesiod (800 B.C.E. - 720 B.C.E.)

“My son has taken up meditation - at least it’s better than sitting doing nothing.” -Max Kauffmann

“A man is a worker. If he is not that he is nothing.” -Joseph Conrad (Teodor Józef Konrad Nalecz-Korzeniowski (1857 - 1924))

“Idleness is the root of mischief.” -Author Unknown

“Tomorrow is always the sluggard’s working day; today is his holiday.” -Richard Baxter

“I am always busy, which is perhaps the chief reason why I am always well.” -Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815 - 1902)

“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” -Sam Ewing (1920 - 2001)

“A man who does nothing never has time to do anything.” -C. H. Spurgeon (Charles Haddon Spurgeon (1834 - 1892))

“It is one of the strange ironies of this strange life that those who work the hardest, who subject themselves to the strictest discipline, who give up certain pleasurable things in order to achieve a goal, are the happiest men.” -Brutus Hamilton

“Inactivity is the beginning of all vice.” -C. F. W. Walther (Carl Ferdinand Wilhelm Walther (1811 - 1887)): letter (14 January 1873)

“Indolence is a delightful but distressing state; we must be doing something to be happy. Action is no less necessary than thought to the instinctive tendencies of the human frame.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

Smiling uses fewer facial muscles and takes less effort than frowning does, making it a great way for even lazy people to contribute something useful to the world . . . the results of more hard work follows . . . on MFOL!

0 Comments

Telephones

11/18/2019

0 Comments

Cell phones are turning people everywhere into downward-facing zombies . . .

A man called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered the telephone said, “Bob will be on vacation for the next two weeks. Would you like to hold?”

Patrick: Why did old Mrs. Crow have such a huge phone bill?
Patricia: She made many long distance caws.

In the late 1930’s, Abe Pickens of Cleveland, Ohio, United States of America, attempted to promote world peace by placing personal calls to various national leaders. He managed to contact Mussolini, Hirohito, Franco, and Hitler (Hitler did not understand English and transferred him to an aide). He spent $10,000 on telephone calls in an effort to bring about world peace.

Caller: I would like the number for a Reverend in Marysville, please.
Operator: Do you have his name?
Caller: No, but he has a dog named Ben.

Mrs. Rogers picked up the phone to hear an anguished voice on the other end of the line saying, “Ma, this has been the worst day of my life. I am going crazy. The kids are all sick and home from school. I haven’t a thing in the house. I have a doctor’s appointment. I’m going out of my mind!” “I’ll come over,” Mrs. Rogers said, “but I don’t know why Robert can’t take care of the kids.” “Who’s Robert?” “Your husband.” “My husband’s name is William.” “You must have the wrong number.” “Oh . . . does this mean you’re not coming over?”

Caller: I would like the number of the Argoed Fish Café in Cardiff, please.
Operator: I am sorry, there is no such listing. Are you sure you have the spelling correct?
Caller: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Café, but the B fell off.

How far do you have to stand from a telephone to make a long-distance call?

The first telephone conversation happened between two people who were just 18 feet apart - you might say it was a close call.

Suggested Recordings for Voice Mail and Answering Machines
- Glad you called but I just am not able to entertain you right now. However, if you are offering to buy dinner, I may be available sooner than you think. Don’t forget to leave your name and number so I don’t get mixed up with different offers and go to the wrong restaurant. Bye.
- Hello, this is Beulah’s toaster. Beulah’s new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done . . . cachunk!
- Hello. This is Ron. I am home right now but I cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.
- Hi, I am not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
- Hi, this is Arthur’s answering machine. He is not here, so speak freely at the beep.
- Hi. Now you say something.
- T is for turkey, D is for deer. One of those reasons is why we are not here. So leave a message at the beep.
-This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test.

Darcy: Why there are so many people named Smith in the phone book?
Craig: They all have phones.

|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|

Did you know that you can play tunes by pushing the buttons on a telephone? All you need to do is call a friend and push the numbered buttons as shown.

Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Row, row, row your boat
4, 4, 4, 8, 6
Gent-ly down the stream
6, 2, 6, 9, #
Mer-ri-ly mer-ri-ly
#, #, #, 0, 0, 0
Life is but a dream.
6, 2, 2, 1, 1

London Bridge
Lon-don Bridge is fall-ing down
6, 9, 6, 8, 7, 8, 6
Fall-ing down fall-ing down
1, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9
Lon-don Bridge is fall-ing down
6, 9, 6, 8, 7, 8, 6
My fair la-day
8, 6, 0, 4

|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|

“If I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?” -James Thurber

“Information. Can I help you?”
“I’d like the telephone number of the Theater Guild, please.”
“One moment, please . . . I’m sorry, sir, I have no listing for Theodore Guild.”
“No, no, it isn’t a person. It’s an organization. It’s ‘Theater Guild’.”
“I told you, sir, I have no listing for a Theodore Guild.”
“Not Theodore! Theater! The word is theater! T-h-e-a-t-e-r!”
“That, sir, is not the way Theodore is spelled.”

Riddle: I have a ring, but no finger - what am I?
Solution: A telephone.

The first bathtub came in 1850. The telephone was not invented until 1876. A lucky gal or guy could have spent twenty-six years in the bathtub without the telephone ringing once!

If you are in the United States of America or Canada, free wakeup calls are available from http://www.wakeupdialer.com/. Type in your telephone number and wakeup time, and the service will wake you with a ring. Don’t thank us, thank them!

“How does the phone cord get so tangled? All I do is talk, and hang up. I don’t pick it up and do a cartwheel and a somersault.” -Larry Miller

Caller: The water board please.
Operator: Which department?
Caller: Tap water

“One person’s wrong number is another person’s phone number.” -Author Unknown

John: What do you get if you cross a telephone and a dog?
Nadia: A Golden Receiver.

“Your cell phone has replaced your watch, camera, etc. Don’t let it replace your friends and family.” -Author Unknown

“For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.” -Author Unknown

A telephone rang. “Hello! Is your phone number 444-4444?” “Yes, it is,” came the reply. “Thank goodness! Could you call 911 for me? I super-glued my finger to the phone.”

More Suggested Recordings for Answering Machines and Voice Mail
- Hello, this is Sally’s microwave. Her answering machine just ran away with her tape deck, so I’m stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
- Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand, mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye.
- You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.
- Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My humans do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and do not need their picture taken. If you are still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
- We’re not home, we’re rarely home,
And when we’re home, we’re on the phone,
So please leave a message at the tone!
- Hi! Cassi’s answering machine is broken. This is her refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I will stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

A woman was being swamped with calls from strangers. The reason? A billing service had launched a toll-free 800 number that was identical to hers. When she called to complain, she was told to get a new number. “I’ve had mine for twenty years,” she pleaded. “Couldn’t you change yours?” The company refused, so she said, “Fine. From now on, I’m going to tell everyone who calls that their bill is paid in full.” The company got a new number the next day.

Caller: I would like the RSPCA please.
Operator: Where are you calling from?
Caller: The living room.

“Uneasy lies the head that ignores a telephone call late at night.” -William Feather (1889 - 1981): “The Business of Life” (1949)

The scene: Alexander Graham Bell’s laboratory. An exciting new discovery is about to take place. In the next room sits Bell’s assistant, a man named Watson, hard at work on Bell’s new invention to transmit sound over wires. As Mr. Watson toiled away in the room with the receiver, it suddenly rings - it must be Bell! He picked it up, and heard: “Good evening, sir. Are you paying too much for your long distance service?”

Utility is when you have one telephone,
     Luxury is when you have two,
          And paradise is when you have none.
-Author Unknown

The next time you try to call someone and their answering machine or voice mail greets you and asks you to leave a message, have a little fun with them. For example, say, “Hello? Hello? Is anybody there? I’m trapped inside your phone. It’s cold and dark in here, and I’m hungry and scared. I’ve got to get out of here. Please, please, help me!”

“I finally realized it . . . People are prisoners of their phones. That’s why they are called cell phones.” -Author Unknown

More than 50 percent of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call. They depend on face-to-face live-in-person communication instead. If only the rest of us could be so fortunate!

Caller: The Union of Shopkeepers and Alligators, please.
Operator: You mean the Amalgamated Union of Shopkeepers?
Caller: Er, yes . . . that would be the one.

In Icelandic phone books, people are listed by their first names and not their surnames, or last names.

We’re sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees, divide by zero, and try again.

|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|

Eletelephony

Once there was an elephant,
     Who tried to use the telephant -
No! No! I mean an elephone
     Who tried to use the telephone -
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
     That even now I’ve got it right.)

Howe’er it was, he got his trunk
     Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
     The louder buzzed the telephee -
(I fear I’d better drop the song
     Of elephop and telephong!)

by Laura Richards (Laura Elizabeth Richards (1850 - 1943))

|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|

‘Telephone’ is derived from the Greek words ‘tele’ meaning ‘at a distance’ and ‘phonos’ meaning ‘sound.’ A telephone is an electronic apparatus that originally allowed people to send and receive sounds over a distance, and which now also allows people to send and receive text in text messages, sound recordings such as music, and images such as photographs.

You could answer the telephone with, “Hello.” However, you could also answer the telephone with, “Yellow,” and most people would simply regard you as having a ‘colorful’ regional dialect or accent.

Telepathy: A condition caused by talking too much on telephones.

In the first month of the Bell Telephone Company’s existence in 1877, only six telephones were sold. The first telephone book, made in 1878, contained only 50 names. Fast-forward to the present, when the world in which we live is essentially a very large telephone company.

Riddle: What do you call a rhinoceros in a telephone booth?
Solution: Stuck!

Nomophobia is a persistent fear of being out of mobile phone contact . . . and we had always thought it referred to a fear of gnomes . . . those terrifying and yet annoying little figures . . .

|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|

Emergency Use Tips for Cell Phones

Your cell phone can actually be an aid to survival in serious emergencies.

The emergency number worldwide for cell phones is 112. If you find yourself outside of the coverage area of your cellular network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the service will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and the number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked.

Have you locked your keys in the car? Does your car have remote keyless entry? If you lock your keys in the car, and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the cell phone on their end. Your car will unlock. This saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object; you could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other ‘remote’ for your car, you can unlock the doors, or the trunk, if you should somehow become locked inside it.

Your cell phone has hidden battery power. When your cell phone battery is very low, press the keys *3370#. Your cell phone will restart with this reserve, and will show a fifty percent increase in battery strength. This reserve will be recharged the next time your charge your cell phone.

To disable a stolen cell phone, first find your cell phone’s serial number, by keying in the following digits on your phone: *#06#. A 15-digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. If your phone is ever stolen, you can call your cell phone service provider and give them this code. They can block your handset so that even if a thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be completely useless. You probably will not get your stolen phone back, but at least you know that the person who stole it will not be able to use it or sell it. If everyone did this, there would be no point in people stealing cell phones.

|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|[]|

The first transatlantic wedding took place on 2 December 1933. The groom was in Michigan. The bride was in Sweden. The ceremony took seven minutes and cost $47.50.

“So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said, ‘Who’s speaking please?’ And a voice said, ‘You are.’” -Tim Vine (Timothy Mark ‘Tim’ Vine (born 1967))

The dial tone of a typical telephone is in the key of ‘F.’

Bill was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission. Repeated requests for repair brought only promises. After several days, Bill again contacted the phone company and told them there was no longer a rush. The phone was now working fine . . . except that all money was being returned upon completion of each call. A repairman arrived within the hour!

There are hundreds of millions of telephones in the world, so when you dial a number right in two tries, you are not doing badly at all.

Caller: I would like the number of the Scottish knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: I cannot find a town called ‘Woven.’ Are you sure of the name?
Caller: Yes. That’s what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland.

“Telephones [will] bring peace on Earth, eliminate Southern accents, and save the farm by making farmers less lonely.” -Author Unknown: printed in “The Wall Street Journal” (1995) ‘Century-old Pronouncements’

“We can hardly realize now the blissful quietude of the pre-telephone epoch.” -Norman Douglas (George Norman Douglas (1868 - 1952))

Ring, ring . . . Hello? Hello? Is anybody out there?

0 Comments

Pessimism and Optimism

11/13/2019

0 Comments

The British League of Pessimists are against anything and everything.

“Pessimists only ever see clouds, while optimists see clouds and have the faith to believe that the Sun still shines brightly behind them.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Think positive. For example, I fell down the stairs today and thought, ‘Wow! I sure fell down those stairs fast!’” -Author Unknown

“An optimist is one who makes the best of it when he gets the worst of it.” -Laurence J. Peter (Laurence Johnston Peter (1919 - 1990))

“No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.” -Helen Keller (Helen Adams Keller (1880 - 1968))

“I’m so optimistic I’d go after Moby Dick in a row boat and take the tartar sauce with me.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“No one really knows enough to be a pessimist.” -Norman Cousins

“An optimist is a person who undertakes a seemingly impossible task in a spirit of immeasurable enthusiasm, unbounded determination, unbelievable excitement, indestructible confidence, uncompromising thoroughness, and indefatigable persistence . . . with understandable success.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“No sense in being pessimistic - it probably wouldn’t work anyway.” -Author Unknown

“An optimistic point of view will always look much better on you!” -Susan Librener

“Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.” -Mary Lou Retton (Mary Lou ‘Loo’ Retton (born 1968))

“A stumbling-block to the pessimist is a stepping-stone to the optimist.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor ‘Eleanor’ Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“Optimist: Someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s a cha-cha.” -Robert Brault (born 1938) at rbrault.blogspot.com

Denise: Why is Darth Vader such a pessimist?
Dennis: Because he is always looking on the Dark Side of things.

“Optimists don’t internalize pain or criticism. They take it for what it is worth and carry on.” -Robert M. Sherfield, website http://www.RobertSherfield.com/

“Distance yourself from negativity or it will deplete your well of optimism.” -Jeff Sheehan

“An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out?” -René Descartes (1596 - 1650)

Optimist and Pessimist

Twixt optimist and pessimist,
     The difference is droll*:
The optimist sees the doughnut,
     The pessimist sees the hole.

by McLandburgh Wilson (Florence McLandburgh (1850 - 1934)): poem (1915)
*droll: amusing in an odd way

“You will find yourself refreshed by the presence of cheerful people. Why not make earnest effort to confer that pleasure on others? Half the battle is gained if you never allow yourself to say anything gloomy.” -Lydia M. Child (Lydia Marie Child (1802 - 1880))

“A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities; an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.” -Reginald B. Mansell (Reginald Baynes Mansell (1897 - 1945))

“An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.” -Walter Winchell (1897 - 1972)

“Pessimism is contagious. One of the ways people catch it is from exposure to the news shows on television, radio, and online.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“It can be done.” -Author Unknown

“If the pessimists aren’t happy now, they never will be!” -Author Unknown

“Real optimism has reason to complain but prefers to smile.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“Pessimist: A person who says ‘o’ is the last letter of zero, instead of the first letter of opportunity.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Optimism is essential to achievement and is also the foundation of courage and true progress.” -Nicholas Murray Butler (1862 - 1947)

“A pessimist looks at his glass and says it is half empty; an optimist looks at it and says it is half full.” -Josiah Stamp (1880 - 1941): as attributed in the “New York Times” (13 November 1935) newspaper

“I find, when you’re an optimist, life has a funny way of looking after you.” -Simon Sinek (Simon Oliver Sinek (born 1973))

“Avoid destructive thinking. Improper negative thoughts sink people. A ship can sail around the world many, many times, but just let enough water get into the ship and it will sink. Just so with the human mind: Let enough negative thoughts or improper thoughts get into the human mind and the person sinks just like a ship.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“The optimist regards the future as uncertain.” -Eugene Paul Wigner (also known as E. P. Wigner (born Wigner Jenő Pál (1902 - 1995)))

“One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.” -Lucille Ball (1911 - 1989)

“Optimism. It’s not just a mind-set, it is behavior.” -Larry Elder (Laurence Allen ‘Larry’ Elder (born 1952)), website www.LarryElder.com

“Criticism and pessimism destroy families, undermine institutions of all kinds, defeat nearly everyone, and spread a shroud of gloom over entire nations.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

Optimist: The glass is half-full.
Pessimist: The glass is half-empty.
Efficiency Expert: The glass is twice the required size.

“Real optimism knows the difficulties but believes they can be overcome.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“I’ve never seen a monument erected to a pessimist.” -Paul Harvey (1918 - 2009)

“For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else.” -Winston Churchill (Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill (1874 - 1965))

“How happy are the pessimists! What joy is theirs when they have proved there is no joy.” -Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach (1830 - 1916): as quoted in Maturin M. Ballou: “Edge-Tools of Speech” (1886), page 251

“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════

The Pessimist

Nothing to do but work,
     Nothing to eat but food,
Nothing to wear but clothes
     To keep one from going nude.

Nothing to breathe but air
     Quick as a flash it is gone;
Nowhere to fall but off,
     Nowhere to stand but on.

Nothing to comb but hair,
     Nowhere to sleep but in bed,
Nothing to weep but tears,
     Nothing to bury but dead.

Nothing to sing but songs,
     Ah, well, alas! alack!
Nowhere to go but out,
     Nowhere to come but back.

Nothing to see but sights,
     Nothing to quench but thirst,
Nothing to have but what we’ve got;
     Thus thro’ life we are cursed.

Nothing to strike but a gait;
     Everything moves that goes.
Nothing at all but common sense
     Can ever withstand these woes.

by Benjamin Franklin King (1857 - 1894)

══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════

“Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist.” -Robert G. Allen (Robert Grant Allen (born 1948))

“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.” -G. B. Stern (Gladys Bronwyn Stern (born Gladys Bertha Stern (1890 - 1973))): as quoted in Karen Weekes: “Women Know Everything!: 3,241 Quips, Quotes, and Brilliant Remarks” (1 March 2007), page 41

“Stick with the optimists. It’s going to be tough enough even if they’re right.” -James Reston (James Barrett ‘Scotty’ Reston (1909 - 1995))

“Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“As I say yes to life, life says yes to me!” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (born 1926))

“The best things in life are free . . . and so are the worst things.” -Author Unknown

“The right train of thought can take you to a better station in life.” -Author Unknown

“So a pessimist walked into a restaurant and said, ‘You’re closed, aren’t you?’” -Author Unknown

“An optimist is the human personification of spring.” -Susan J. Bissonette (born 1938): as quoted in “Readers Digest” (1979)

══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════

The Hymn of the Pessimist

My grandpa notes the world’s worn cogs,
And says we’re going to the dogs.

His grandpa in his house of logs,
Said things were going to the dogs.

His grandpa in the Flemish bogs,
Said things were going to the dogs.

His grandpa in his hairy togs,
Said things were going to the dogs.

But this is what I wish to state,
The dogs have had an awful wait.

by Author Unknown

══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
“It’s not that optimism solves all of life’s problems; it is just that it can sometimes make the difference between coping and collapsing.” -Lucy Macdonald

“A pessimist is someone who complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.” -Michael Levine

“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in; a pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” -Bill Vaughan (William Edward ‘Bill’ Vaughan also known by pseudonym Burton Hillis (1915 - 1977)): “Senator Soaper Opines” (31 December 1963) newspaper column in the “Evening World-Herald,” page 16, column 2

“Always look on the bright side of life. Otherwise it’ll be too dark to read.” -Author Unknown

“Optimism is the one quality more associated with success and happiness than any other.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“In the long run, the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.” -Daniel L. Reardon

“Be courageous. Change and improve each day. Do your best and don’t look back. See learning and change as opportunities. Try new things. Consider several options. Meet new people. Ask lots of questions. Keep track of your mental and physical health. Be optimistic.” -Donald Martin

“Pessimist: A person who views the world through woes-colored glasses.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: I would like to be an optimist, but I doubt that it would work out.

“One day someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. And he said, ‘Is it half full or half empty?’ So I drank the water. No more problem.” -Alexander Jodorowsky

“What people forget is a journey to nowhere starts with a single step, too.” -Chuck Palahniuk: “Survivor” (17 February 1999)

“The habit of looking on the best side of every event is worth more than a thousand pounds a year.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.” -James Branch Cabell (1879 - 1958): “The Silver Stallion” (1926), Chapter 6

“People who wonder whether the glass is half full or half empty miss the point. The glass is refillable.” -Author Unknown

“Optimism refuses to believe that the road ends without options.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

Marcella: How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?
Marcia: None; a new one will not work any better than the burned-out one did.

“Optimism will grow like a flower if the soil be properly prepared.” -Arthur Lynch

“Pessimism wilts everything around it.” -Michael Levine

“Optimists find joy in small things. They enjoy sunsets, a good conversation with a close friend; and they enjoy life in general. They are more concerned with having many small joys rather than having one huge joy.” -Robert M. Sherfield, website http://www.RobertSherfield.com/

“Optimism is the sunshine of the soul.” -Author Unknown

“Optimism inspires, energizes, and brings out our best. It points the mind toward possibilities and helps us think creatively past problems.” -Price Pritchett

This is MFOL! . . . where life is good - who are we kidding - life is great!

0 Comments

<<Previous

Further fantastically fascinating frivolity and factuality await you on the Make Fun Of Life! Website if you will courageously click on any of the colorful words below.

Do you need a joke, quotation, paragraph, or poem about a particular subject or topic? Go to the search box found at the top right side of this page and type it in. We have a surprising variety of material and we add new stuff regularly, so you might find what you are seeking.

Although adults are just serious-minded children, there is a chance for them to be slightly less so, every time they visit Make Fun Of Life!

Make Fun Of Life! can be right there with you, at home or wherever you go, on a laptop, cell phone, tablet, or any other internet connected device. Bookmark us and visit whenever you can. We regularly add fascinating new articles just for you!

When you reach the bottom of this page on Make Fun Of Life! click on <<Previous or Forward>> to see the next page.

You are now on the Make Fun Of Life! Website . . . where humor, inspiration, and learning are back together again - as they were always meant to be.

Welcome to the Make Fun Of Life! Website. We are here to bring a little happiness to the world. Would you like to be among the first people to see new articles when they appear on the website? Click on the social media buttons on the left side of your screen and then follow us. We wish you the very best imaginable day, and thank you for visiting!

Offering you squeaky clean alternatives to what you will find in other media, this is Make Fun Of Life!