Fun & Learning

As You Can See, We Are Eating This Tree

5/25/2018

Well, hello there! We will be right with you as soon as we are finished gnawing on this tree . . . nmnmnm, nmnmnm, nmnmnm . . . it has a really great mellow, earthy flavor . . . nmnmnm, nmnmnm, nmnmnm . . . you should try it yourself . . . nmnmnm, nmnmnm, nmnmnm . . .

While we finish eating the rest of the tree, please enjoy the fun that follows, and be sure to explore some of the other pages on the ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ Website, such as the ‘Stories & Essays’ page shown on the menu bar at the top of this page.

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . nmnmnm, nmnmnm, nmnmnm . . .

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Wishes and Wishing

5/22/2018

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Have you ever made a wish and then blown dandelion tufts into the breeze?

“Make a wish . . . then make it happen!” -Author Unknown

“It is always wise to stop wishing for things long enough to enjoy the fragrance of those now flowering.” -Patrice Gifford

This one makes a net,
this one stands and wishes.
Would you like to make a bet -
which one gets the fishes?
-Author Unknown

“We will receive not what we idly wish for but what we justly earn. Our rewards will always be in exact proportion to our service.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“We can do whatever we wish to do, provided our wish is strong enough. But the tremendous effort needed - one doesn’t always want to make it - does one? . . . But what else can be done? What’s the alternative? What do you want most to do? That’s what I have to keep asking myself, in the face of difficulties.” -Katherine Mansfield (Katherine Mansfield Beauchamp Murry (1888 - 1923))

“Few wishes come true by themselves.” -Author Unknown

It’s your birthday . . . make a wish and blow out the candles!

“Work will win when wishy washy wishing won’t.” -Thomas S. Monson (born 1927)

“Stop saying, ‘I wish,’ and start saying, ‘I will.’” -Author Unknown

“You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don’t let yourself indulge in vain wishes.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

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Away with Wishing!

If wishing were being, we’d all be beautiful,
     Healthy and wealthy, wise and dutiful;
If wishing were having - what pleasure untold;
     With a heartful of joy and purseful of gold!

But wishes, alas! are but empty bubbles,
     And the longing heart may teem with troubles,
So idle wishing is vain, forsooth
     As the endless search for the fountain of youth.

But work that holds wealth may be had for the taking,
     Though it may not bring health, ’tis a balm for heart-aching;
And study makes wise, and love, people say,
     Gives the beauty that’s truest, which lasts for aye.

Then away with wishing; and ho! for labor!
     And ho! for love - each one for his neighbor!
For a life of labor and study and love
     Is the life that fits for the joy above.

-Emma C. Dowd

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“They told us not to wish in the first place, not to aspire, not to try; to be quiet, to play nice, to shoot low, and aspire not at all. They are always wrong. Follow your dreams. Make your wishes. Create the future. And above all, believe in yourself.” -J. Michael Straczynski

“Don’t wish for it . . . work for it!” -Author Unknown

“You don’t get what you want in life just by wishing.” -Author Unknown

“Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn’t spend half our time wishing.” -Alexander Woollcott (Alexander Humphreys Woollcott (1887 - 1943))

“Wishes are the echo of a lazy will.” -Author Unknown

“If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.” -Author Unknown

“You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936)): “Illusions” (1977)

When you are finally tired of putting Awesome Sauce on Nothing Burgers, visit 'MFOL!'

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Hopes and Dreams

5/21/2018

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“Everything begins as a dream.” -Author Unknown

“Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.” -Author Unknown

“Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945))

“The hopeful man sees success where others see failure; sunshine where others see shadows and storm.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“To accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” -Anatole France (pseudonym of Jacques Anatole François Thibault (1844 - 1924)): as quoted in Sidney Greenberg, editor: “Treasury of the Art of Living” (1964)

“Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Do all you can to make your dreams come true.” -Joel Osteen (born 1963)

“HOPE: Hanging Onto Positive Expectations.” -Author Unknown

“If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.” -Flavia Weedn (Flavia Marie Weedn (1929 - 2015)): “Flavia and the Dream Maker” (1998)

“Hope has two beautiful daughters, named Anger and Courage; Anger at the way things are, and Courage to change them.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430))

“Dreams come a size too big so you can grow into them.” -Author Unknown

“In all things it is better to hope than to despair.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Hold on to your dreams, for they are, in a sense, the stuff of which reality is made. It is through our dreams that we maintain the possibility of a better, more meaningful life.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

“The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope.” -Barbara Kingsolver (born 1955)

“No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t lose hope. When the Sun goes down, the stars come out.” -Author Unknown

“What steps could you take right now to begin turning your dreams into realities?” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Hope works for one reason: Those who believe something is possible will work toward achieving it and encourage others; those who believe something is not possible will give up, never begin, and disparage those who have hope.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.” -Dale E. Turner (1917 - 2006)

“While there’s life, there’s hope.” -Terence (Publius Terentius Afer (185 B.C.E. - 159 B.C.E.)): “Heuton timoroumenos,” line 981

“Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.” -John Updike (John Hoyer Updike (1932 - 2009))

“Hope doesn’t require a massive chain where heavy links of logic hold it together. A thin wire will do . . . just strong enough to get us through the night until the winds die down.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“Set out each day believing in your dreams. Know without a doubt that you were made for amazing things.” -Josh Hinds (Josh Stephen Hinds (born 1973))

“Hope, like the gleaming taper’s light,
Adorns and cheers our way;
And still, as darker grows the night,
Emits a brighter ray.”
-Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774): “The Captivity” (1764), Act II

“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.” -Christopher Reeve (Christopher D’Olier Reeve (1952 - 2004))

“Hope is necessary in every condition. The miseries of poverty, of sickness, or captivity, would, without this comfort, be insupportable; nor does it appear that the happiest lot of terrestrial existence can set us above the want of this general blessing; or that life, when the gifts of nature and of fortune are accumulated upon it, would not still be wretched, were it not elevated and delighted by the expectation of some new possession, of some enjoyment yet behind, by which the wish shall at last be satisfied, and the heart filled up to its utmost extent.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall at last unveil.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“When the world says, ‘Give up,’ Hope whispers, ‘Try one more time.’” -Author Unknown

“We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.” -Jesse Owens (1913 - 1980)

“Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.” -Leo J. Suenens (Leo Jozef Suenens (1904 - 1996))

“At the darkest moment comes the light.” -Joseph Campbell (1904 - 1987)

“Dreams are necessary to life.” -Anaïs Nin (Angela Anaïs Juana Antolina Rosa Edelmira Nin y Culmell (1903 - 1977))

“Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.” -Thornton Wilder (Thornton Niven Wilder (1897 - 1975))

“Dreams are the seedlings of realities.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.” -Thich Nhat Hanh (born 1926)

“It may be that those who do most, dream most.” -Stephen Butler Leacock (1869 - 1944)

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work; you don’t give up.” -Anne ‘Annie’ Lamott (born 1954)

“Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second. Give your dreams all you’ve got and you’ll marvel at the energy that comes out of you.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“Hope is a vigorous principle; it is furnished with light and heat to advise and execute; it sets the head and heart to work, and animates a man to do his utmost. And thus, by perpetually pushing and assurance, it puts a difficulty out of countenance, and makes a seeming impossibility give way.” -Jeremy Collier (1650 - 1726)

“I have had dreams and I have had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.” -Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995)

“The path to a dream is paved with sacrifices and lined with determination. And although it has many stumbling blocks along the way and may go in more than one direction, it is marked with faith. It is traveled by belief in you and others but requires courage, persistence, and hard work. It is conquered with a willingness to face challenges and take chances, to fail and try again and again. Along the way, you may have to confront doubts, setbacks, and unfairness. But when the path comes to an end, you will find that there is no greater joy than making your dream come true.” -Author Unknown

“Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940)

“It is good to dream, but it is better to dream and work. Faith is mighty, but action with faith is mightier. Desiring is helpful, but work and desire are invincible.” -Thomas Robert Gaines

“Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive. If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even where confidence is wounded, trust impaired.” -Erik Erikson (1902 - 1994)

“The only thing that stands in between you and your dreams is the will to try and the belief that it is actually possible.” -Joel Brown

“There is always hope.” -Author Unknown

“Miracles start to happen when you give as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears.” -Richard Wilkins

“A pocket full of hope is worthless if spent in all the wrong places on all the wrong people.” -S. L. Heaton (Shirley Heaton)

“Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.” -Author Unknown

“The hopes of men have been justly called waking dreams.” -Basil (C.E. 330 - C.E. 379): in a letter to Gregory of Nazianzus: as quoted in S. Baring-Gould (Sabine Baring-Gould (1834 - 1924)): “The Lives of the Saints” (1873)

“Of all the people I have ever known, those who have pursued their dreams and failed have lived a much more fulfilling life than those who have put their dreams on a shelf for fear of failure.” -Author Unknown

“Hope is like the Sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“At every crossroad, follow your dream. It is courageous to let your heart lead the way.” -Leland Thomas

“Never stop believing in hope because miracles happen every day.” -Author Unknown

“Dreams don’t work unless you do.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“Hope is as cheap as Despair.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2542

“Dreams can come true if you take the time to think about what you want in life.” -Author Unknown

“Practice hope. As hopefulness becomes a habit, you can achieve a permanently happy spirit.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“When you have a dream, you’ve got to grab it and never let go.” -Carol Burnett (Carol Creighton Burnett (born 1933))

“My hopes are not always realized, but I always hope.” -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18))

“Every moment is another chance to make your dreams come true.” -Author Unknown

“False hope is better than no hope at all.” -Author Unknown

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.” -J. K. Rowling (pseudonym of Joanne ‘Jo’ Rowling (1965)): “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” (1997)

“If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.” -Clement of Alexandria (also known as Titus Flavius Clemens (about C.E. 150 - about C.E. 215))

“Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away.” -Tom Clancy (Thomas Leo Clancy, Junior (1947 - 2013))

“Where there is no hope, there can be no endeavor.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (6 April 1751) journal

“All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“For hope is but the dream of those that wake.” -Matthew Prior (1664 - 1721): “Solomon on the Vanity of the World,” book iii, line 102

“All men of action are dreamers.” -James G. Huneker (James Gibbons Huneker (1860 - 1921))

“Trust your hopes, not your fears.” -David Mahoney

“Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.” -Author Unknown

“Hope is necessary in every condition. The miseries of poverty, sickness, of captivity, would, without this comfort, be insupportable.” -Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) “The Rambler” (1750 - 1752), number 67

“Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” -Gloria Steinem (born 1934)

“People too weak to follow their own dreams typically tend to find a way to discourage yours.” -Author Unknown

“Hope never abandons you; you abandon it.” -George Weinberg

“Dreams and wishes do not come true by themselves, but without dreams and wishes behind them, actions - and even life itself - can seem undirected and purposeless.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“If it were not for Hopes, the Heart would break.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2689

“Nothing happens unless first a dream.” -Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967)

“Everything that is done in the world is done by the hopeful. No matter your age. No matter your circumstances. No matter your financial wealth. Without hope, nothing is possible. But with hope . . . well . . . watch out.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Your dreams tell you what to do; your reason tells you how to do it.” -Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995)

“Hope is itself a species of happiness, and, perhaps, the chief happiness which this world affords.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832): “Faust,” lines 214 and 215, as translated by John Anster (1835)

“Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.” -Author Unknown

“All our dreams can come true - if we have the courage to pursue them.” -Walt Disney: as quoted in Pat Williams: “How to Be Like Walt: Capturing the Magic Every Day of Your Life” (2004), Chapter 3, ‘Imagination Unlimited,’ page 63

“Always chase your dreams instead of running from your fears.” -Author Unknown

“There is nothing like a dream to create the future.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . where our fondest ‘Hopes and Dreams’ are that you will visit us often . . . as you make your way toward all the good that life has in store for you . . .

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Best Wishes and Toasts

5/17/2018

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We wish you every happiness!

“I see only blue skies and green lights for you.” -Author Unknown

“May you never have to eat your hat.” -Author Unknown

Happy

Happy have we met,
     Happy have we been,
Happy may we part,
     And happy meet again.

-Author Unknown

“May every sunrise bring you hope, and may every sunset bring you peace.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

I Wish Thee

I wish thee health,
     I wish thee wealth,
I wish thee gold in store,
     I wish thee Heaven upon Earth -
What could I wish thee more?
     May your troubles be little ones.

-Author Unknown

“May your every good wish come true.” -Author Unknown

Imagine you are sending a congratulatory email, posting a message on someone’s page on a social networking website, making a dinner party or wedding toast, creating a home-made greeting card, calling a relative or business associate, signing a school yearbook . . . what would you write or say? In this ‘Best Wishes and Toasts’ topic on ‘MFOL!’ you will find examples.

If love were a raindrop, I would send you a shower.
If hope were a minute, I would send you an hour.
If happiness were a leaf, I would send you a tree.
If you need a friend, you will always have me!
-Author Unknown

May you have a long, fulfilling life.

A Toast to Us

A toast to us, my good round friends,
     To bless the things we eat;
For it has been full many a year
     Since we have seen our feet.
Yet who would lose a precious pound
     By trading sweets for sours?
It takes a mighty girth indeed
     To hold such hearts as ours.

-Wallace Irwin (1875 - 1959)

“May your strengths be greater than your weaknesses.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Be well.

“Live long and prosper.” -Spock (fictional character portrayed by actor Leonard Nimoy (1931 - 2015)): “Star Trek,” season 2, episode 1: “Amok Time” (1968); based on the “Star Trek” series created by Eugene Wesley ‘Gene’ Roddenbery (1921 - 1991)

Here’s to In-Laws

Here’s to bride and mother-in-law,
Here’s to groom and father-in-law,
Here’s to sister and brother-in-law,
Here’s to friends and friends-in-law,
May none of them need an attorney-at-law.

-Author Unknown

“May your life be as smooth as butter.” -Author Unknown

“I wish you all very good lives.” -Plutarch (C.E. 46 - C.E. 120)

The Mathematics of Life

May your life be like arithmetic:
Joys added,
Sorrows subtracted,
Friends multiplied,
Love un-divided,
Blessings to infinity.

-Author Unknown

“May you find a moment of joy in each day to come!” -Author Unknown

“May all of your horrible beginnings have wonderful endings.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

A Thanksgiving Day dinner toast -
Here’s to the day when first
The Yankees acknowledged
Heaven’s good gifts with Thank’ees.
-Author Unknown

“May your today be better than your yesterday, but not as good as your tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“To your health!” [English translation]
Sláinte! [original Irish Gaelic]
-Author Unknown

“May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you His favor and give you His peace.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Book of Numbers,’ chapter 6, verses 26 – 26

Take care!

“Long life to you.” [English translation]
“Fad saol agat.” [original Irish Gaelic]
-Author Unknown

Question: What is big and gray, and carries flowers to cheer you up when you do not feel well?
Answer: A Get-Well-Ephant!

“Here’s to the two great American birds! May you always have one on your table and the other in your pocket - the turkey and the eagle.” -Author Unknown

“May you fear no outer darkness, and know no lack of inner light.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“May God’s love be with you.” -Author Unknown

“May your life be so full of good people and good things that you never have to say goodbye to more than one of them at a time, so that no part of your life may ever be empty.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Blessed be.

“May the warmth of our affections survive the frosts of age.” -Author Unknown

“May your days be many and may you succeed in life beyond your greatest expectations!” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Get Well Soon!

I’m in a 10der mood 2day
& feel poetic, 2;
4 fun I’ll just - off a line
& send it off 2U.

I’m sorry you’ve been 6 o long;
Don’t B disconsol8;
But bear your ills with 42de,
& they won’t seem so gr8.

-Author Unknown

“Love many, trust a few, always paddle your own canoe!” -Author Unknown

“Hail wedded love, mysterious law, true source of human happiness.” -John Milton (1608 - 1674)

An Irish Blessing

May flowers always line your path
     and sunshine light your day.
May songbirds serenade you
    every step along the way.
May a rainbow run beside you
    in a sky that’s always blue.
And may happiness fill your heart
    each day your whole life through.

-Author Unknown

“May the rest of your life be the best of your life!” -Author Unknown

I wish you well in your endeavors.

“May we be alive at this time next year!” [English translation]
“Go mbeire muid beo ar an am seo aris!” [original Irish Gaelic]
-Author Unknown

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I Wish You All the Happiness

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I hope your dreams will all come true
I hope you find what works for you
I hope you live and never die
I hope you spread your wings and fly

And if you ever need a friend
I’ll be right here ’round the bend
’Cause I got my eyes on you
And all the crazy things you do

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I hope you finally find your truth
I hope you hold onto your youth
I hope you pass your days with a smile
I hope you travel many miles

I hope you never feel the hurt
Of all the pain that’s buried in the dirt
I hope you always find the time
To be with those who ease your mind

And if you ever need a friend
I’ll be with you ’til the end
’Cause I got my eyes on you
And all the beauty inside you

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

-Calvin Becker

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We wish all good things for you.

“May the most you wish for be the least you get!” -Jay O’Brian

Ships

There are strong ships
And there are fast ships,
Among ships that sail the sea -
But the best ships
Are friendships.
So here’s to you,
And here’s to me,
Good friends may we always be.

-Author Unknown

Have a beautiful life.

“We never eat [to] anybody’s health, always drink [to] it. Why should we not stand up now and then and eat a tart to somebody’s success?” -Jerome K. Jerome (Jerome Klapka Jerome (1859 - 1927)): “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow: A Book for an Idle Holiday” (1892)

In your life, may everything be good.

May the blessings of each day
Be the blessings you need most.
-Author Unknown

May good things come your way!

“May the hinges of friendship never rust, or the wings of love lose a feather.” -Edward Bannerman Ramsey (1793 - 1872): “Reminiscences of Scottish Life: A Toast”

Overheard: I hope you always find always find a reason to smile!

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . may we all keep thinking happy thoughts until the Universe becomes positively radiant with them . . . wow, look at how sparkly it is!

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Tea

5/14/2018

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We saved a chair just for you . . .

“There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a nice cup of tea.” -Bernard-Paul Heroux

The tea plant, scientifically named ‘Camellia sinensis,’ is believed to have originated in the geographic area presently known as northern Myanmar (formerly called Burma), in northern India, and in the provinces of Yunnan and Sichuan of China.

“Come, let us have some tea and continue to talk about happy things.” -Chaim Potok

The tea plant is an evergreen, meaning that it has leaves throughout the year. Because growing tea plants from seed can be difficult, they are often grown from cuttings. The plants need about 3 years of growth before the leaves are ready to harvest, and will produce seeds after about 12 years. Tea plants can live for 25 to 100 years. If left untrimmed, the plants can grow to a height of 15 to 20 meters (about 49 to 66 feet). Cultivated plants are usually pruned to waist height for ease of harvesting. Just the top 2.5 to 5 centimeters (1 to 2 inches) of a mature plant, known as the flush, are picked to make tea. A new flush occurs about every 6 to 15 days during the growing season. The leaves on each plant range from fuzzy and white-haired to smooth and shiny.

“While there is tea, there is hope.” -Arthur Wing Pinero (1855 - 1934)

The more than 3,000 varieties of tea in the world are all derived from the leaf of the Camellia sinensis plant. The color and variety of tea comes from the way the tea leaves are processed, which produces the six major categories: white, green, yellow, black, oolong, and pu-erh. With so many kinds of tea, one cannot simply say, “Tea, please.” We have to be specific as to which one of the more than 3,000 varieties we are referring.

“What would the world do without tea? How did it exist? I am glad I was not born before tea.” -Sydney Smith: “Lady Holland’s Memoir” (1855), volume 1, page 383

White tea is usually regarded as the least processed type of tea. The leaves are harvested before they are fully open and while still covered in fine silvery-white hairs, which is what gives this category of tea the name ‘white tea.’ The white tea beverage is a light straw-color with a hint of sweetness and floweriness.

Kelly: Will you join me in a cup of tea?
Keith: Do you think there will be room enough for both of us?

Green tea is made by briefly steaming mature tea leaves immediately following their harvest. After steaming, the leaves are typically dried with hot air. The entire process prevents the leaves from fermenting or changing color, so that more of the phytonutrients, or plant nutrients, are retained, and the flavor is closer to that of freshly picked mature leaves than other categories of tea. Green tea has 50 percent more vitamin C than black tea. Brewed green tea is a pale yellowish-green color with a delicate flavor.

“Remember the tea kettle - it is always up to its neck in hot water, yet it still sings!” -Author Unknown

Yellow tea is made by steaming green tea leaves under mats or cloths to allow oxidation of the leaves, giving them a yellow tinge. The yellow tea beverage is a yellow or golden color, with less of the grassy flavor found in green teas.

Riddle: What starts with ‘t,’ ends with ‘t,’ and is full of ‘t’?
Solution: A teapot.

Black tea, called red tea in China, is prepared by spreading the leaves on racks and blowing air across them to remove about a third of their moisture. They are next rolled to release the juices for fermentation, and then spread out and kept under high humidity to allow fermentation. The process turns the leaves a dark color and develops the distinct flavor. Lastly, the leaves are fully dried. The black tea beverage is an amber or reddish-brown brew with a stronger flavor than green teas and oolong teas.

“Waiter to customer: ‘You’ll have to wait for your tea . . . someone else is using the bag.’” -Tom Wilson

Oolong tea is made from leaves that are partially fermented before being dried, with a level of processing that is partway between the amount of processing given to green teas and that given to black teas. The oolong tea beverage is greenish-brown color with a flavor richer than green tea and more delicate than black tea.

The Tea Party

I had a little tea party
     This afternoon at three.
’Twas very small -
     Three guests in all -
Just I, myself, and me.
     Myself ate all the sandwiches,
While I drank up the tea;
     ’Twas also I who ate the pie
And passed the cake to me.

-Jessica Nelson North (1891 - 1988)

Pu-erh is a category of tea that originated in the Yunnan province of China. Traditional ‘raw’ pu-erh tea is made of leaves that have been fermented and aged typically for 10 to 15 years, though sometimes for as long as 30 years or more. Modern ‘ripe’ pu-erh tea is made by a process that takes as little as a few months. The tea leaves for making pu-erh come compressed in a cake form, and the entire cake or a few of the leaves separated from a cake are used in brewing tea. The ripe pu-erh tea beverage is a deep-brown-red color and has a flavor that calls to mind dried fruit; if a prepared drink has an unpleasant aroma, it has been brewed from an inferior tea made by a process of fermentation in which the wrong type of mold has been used. The raw pu-erh tea beverage has a brownish-yellow color and an earthy aroma.

“Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea.” -Author Unknown

The word ‘tea’ is commonly used to describe any beverage that is prepared or served in a manner similar to the way tea is prepared or served. However, true ‘tea’ is made from the Camellia sinensis, or tea plant, and any beverage made from non-tea ingredients is not really tea, but is instead an ‘herbal infusion’ or ‘tisane’ (pronounced as ‘tea-zahn’). Tisane is often called ‘herbal tea.’ It is a beverage made by steeping herbs, spices, flowers, fruits, barks, and so forth, in boiling water. The term ‘herbal infusion’ refers to a drink made by steeping an herb in hot water. Herbal drinks are often thought of as conducive to physical and mental well-being, and are consumed for their supposed soothing or rejuvenating qualities. They also serve as a tea alternative for people who want to avoid caffeine. Chamomile, lemon verbena, fennel, ginger, peppermint, cinnamon, and rosehip are examples of names given to herbal drinks.

Maxine: What is a baby teapot’s favorite game?
Marlene: Pekoe-boo.

Blends are made by combining different types of teas, often in order to achieve flavor consistency from one season to the next. Common blends include English Breakfast, Earl Grey, Irish Breakfast, and Caravan.

I’m a Little Teapot

I’m a little teapot, short and stout,
Here is my handle, (place one hand on hip)
Here is my spout (bend opposite arm at elbow and wrist, with hand pointing out to make a spout).
When I get all steamed up, hear me shout;
Just tip me over, and pour me out! (lean over toward the ‘spout’ side)

by Clarence Kelley and George Harry Sanders (1939), Tin Pan Alley songwriters

What causes bad tea and how can bad tea be avoided? Horribly bitter tea can be the result of brewing or soaking the tea leaves too long in water. Dry tea leaves, tea in bags, instant tea, and the tea beverage made from them should not have an awful aroma, flavor, aftertaste, or odor; if they do, throw away the tea and switch to a different brand, lot, or supplier. With the possible exception of pu-erh tea, dry tea should be stored in tins (metal containers), jars, or other airtight containers. If dampness or moisture comes in contact with dry tea, mold or fungus can grow on it; discard any musty, moldy, or otherwise spoiled tea. For pu-erh tea, ask the seller or supplier how to best store it.

Peter: Why did the tea get away?
Paul: Because it was loose.

What do people put in their tea? Sugar, lemon juice, milk, and so forth. Tibetans, Mongolians, and some people in parts of western China put salt in their tea instead of sugar. In many Arabic nations, mint along with a generous amount of sugar is the flavoring of choice. In India, the spicy ‘masala tea’ is a popular beverage. It is made by boiling black tea with spices such as cardamom, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, and black or white pepper; milk and sugar are usually added as well. Beyond herbs and spices, the flavor craze has more recently spurred manufacturers to produce tea with just about every flavor imaginable, from peaches and cream to gingerbread.
________________________________________________________

Rhymes with Tea

Suggestion: Jot down any of the following short poems on paper and enclose it in an envelope with a bag or two of tea, to send a cheery note to someone you know.

I cannot sit and chat with you,
     The way I’d like to do.
So brew yourself a cup of tea,
     I’ll think of you, you think of me.

-[Your name or signature goes here]

A cup of tea to say, ‘thank you’
     For all the things you’ve done,
And wishes that the day will bring you
     Happiness and fun!

-[Your name or signature goes here]

If I could take your troubles,
     I would toss them in the sea.
But since I can’t, I’m sending you
     My favorite cup of tea.

-[Your name or signature goes here]
________________________________________________________

After water, tea is the second most consumed beverage in the world.

How to have a tea party: Find examples of invitations to a Tea Party on the internet. Print them or hand-write them on paper. Gather a few items: tea bags, cups and saucers, spoons, a flower and a vase, sugar, some kind of baked goods (cookies, crumpets, biscuits, toast, finger sandwiches, etc), butter and jam if needed, and whatever else your heart desires. Think up a few topics for conversation. Put out the invitations. Repeat on a regular basis. Watch as your garden of friends grows and blossoms.

Matthew: How does Moses make his tea?
Luke: ‘Hebrews’ it.

Tea that helps our head and heart.
     Tea medicates most every part.
Tea rejuvenates the very old.
     Tea warms the hands of those who’re cold.
-J. Jonker (about 1670)

“The people there gave us a certaine Drinke called Chaa, which is only water with akind of herbe boyled in itt. It must bee Drancke warme and is accompted wholesome.” -Peter Mundy: “Travels in Europe and Asia” (1637)

At Tea

Two maidens were seated at t,
Discussing the things that may b,
     “I think I’ll wed Willie,”
     Said Mollie to Millie,
“That is, if he asks me, you c.”

-Author Unknown

“Consider the used tea bag. You lift it, dripping, from the cup. Then, feeling somewhat inadequate, you search for a way to dispose of the thing gracefully. It tends to swing diabolically on its stirring, depositing drops of tea on the surroundings, so you try to keep your hand steady. Perhaps you choose the edge of your cake plate; in that case, you must quickly shove your slice of cake to the side before it gets soaked by the overflow. Or you may decide to sacrifice your napkin. Most likely, though, you plop the bag onto your saucer. Excess tea will then run into the well of the saucer, ready to drip from the bottom of the cup when you raise it to drink.” -Author Unknown: ‘Taming the Terrible Tea Bag,’ in “Consumer Reports” (March 1969), page 110

If you are cold, tea will warm you.
     If you are heated, it will cool you.
If you are depressed, it will cheer you.
     If you are excited, it will calm you.
-William Ewart Gladstone

This is 'MFOL!' . . . Reminding you that you can share the gift of laughter and so much more . . . and with the whole world in dire need . . . why not get started today?

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Health and Healthcare Practitioners

5/12/2018

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Why, yes, these are real doctors . . .

Patient: Doctor, can you give me something for my liver?
Doctor: Certainly - here is an onion!

Patient, on telephone: Doctor, there’s something very wrong with me. My head feels squashed, my voice sounds strange, I smell something peculiar, and one of my feet is cold. What could be wrong with me?
Doctor: You are probably wearing one of your socks on your head.

A doctor decided to take a week off from the pressures of his busy medical practice, and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling. Seconds later, a sheet of snow came crashing toward him. Fortunately, the doctor was able to jump into a cave just before the avalanche could overtake him. Just as luckily, he had matches with him and was able to light a fire. Hours later, when everyone but the doctor had returned to the lodge from a day of skiing, a rescue team was sent out to search for him. It was nearly dark when the searchers saw smoke curling from the cave and went to investigate. Poking his head in the cave, one of the rescuers yelled, “Doctor, are you in there? It’s the Red Cross.” Bristling, the harried doctor called back, “I already gave at the office!”

Doctor: Your pulse is as steady as a clock.
Patient: You have your hand on my wristwatch.

A man went to visit his doctor. “Doc, my arm hurts! Can you check it out?” The doctor rolled up the man’s sleeve and suddenly, the man’s arm started talking. “Hello, doctor,” said the arm. “Could you lend me twenty dollars, please? I’m desperate!” “Aha!” said the doctor. “I see the problem. Your arm is broke!”

Have you heard about the doctor who made enough money in his medical practice that he could occasionally tell a patient that there was nothing wrong with him?

A nurse was giving a young medical intern a tour of the hospital. The intern approached one bedridden patient and asked, “Why are you here?” The patient replied, “O my Luve’s like a red, red rose that’s newly sprung in June.” The intern moved on to the next bed and asked the same question, “Why are you here?” The patient answered, “Man’s inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn!” The intern moved on to a third bed and asked again, “Why are you here?” to which the third patient replied, “The best laid plans of mice and men may often gang awry.” At this, the intern turned to the nurse and asked, “What ward is this anyway?” The nurse answered, “It’s the Burns Unit.”

Doctor: Face the window, please. Now stick out your tongue.
Patient: Why do I have to face the window?
Doctor: Because I do not like the man next door.

If one doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does he doctor the doctor the way a doctor who doctors doctors doctors doctors?

Patient: Doctor, I feel like a pony!
Doctor: Do not worry - you are just a little hoarse!

Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news.
Patient: Tell me the bad news first.
Doctor: You have canary disease.
Patient: What is the good news?
Doctor: It is tweetable.

“The great secret of medicine, known to doctors but still hidden from the public, is that most things get better by themselves.” -Lewis Thomas

A man went to see his doctor. He was suffering from acute anxiety and seemed on the verge of a nervous breakdown. After the examination, the doctor went into the consultation room to discuss the case with the patient’s wife. “What your husband needs most of all is rest and quiet,” said the doctor. “These are tranquilizer pills. You should take one every three hours.”

Doctor: You cough sounds much better today.
Patient: It should - I stayed up all night practicing.

A man sat in a doctor’s office and kept up a strange litany: “I hope I am sick . . . I hope I am sick . . .” Another waiting patient asked, “Why do you want to be sick?” The man replied, “I would hate to be well and feel like this!”

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Doctor: Pull yourself together, man!

A typical American hospital has three to six times more employees than patients. So, the next time you go to the hospital, perhaps it should be to fill out an employment application.

Patient: Doctor, how long will my arm be in this cast?
Doctor: At least six weeks.
Patient: When you remove it, will I be able to play the violin?
Doctor: Of course.
Patient: That is great, because I could never play one before.

A woman rushed into a doctor’s office and shouted, “Doctor, I think I’m shrinking!” The doctor calmly responded, “Now settle down. You will just have to be a little patient.”

Doctor: The only person who actually enjoys poor health.

Farmer: Doctor, I have potatoes in my ears.
Doctor: How did that happen?
Farmer: I do not know - I planted carrots.

Have you heard about the doctor who wrote out a prescription in the usual doctor’s fashion? The patient used it for two years as a railroad pass. Twice it got him into Radio City Music Hall, and once into Yankee Stadium. It came in handy as a letter from his supervisor to the personnel director to increase his salary. And, to top it off, his daughter played it on the piano and won a scholarship to the Curtis Music Conservatory.

A man walked into a doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, Doctor, I have a strawberry growing on my arm!” The doctor replied, “I can give you some cream for that.”

Tonsillectomy

“Your tonsils, it seems, are too big,”
Said my doctor, and straightened his wig.
“There isn’t a doubt
That they’ll have to come out.”
And he giggled and danced a short jig.

-Author Unknown

“If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free.” -P. J. O’Rourke

Patient: Doctor, you have to help me!
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Patient: I have some coins stuck in my ear.
Doctor: How long have they been there?
Patient: A year.
Doctor: Why did you not come in sooner?
Patient: I did not need the money until now.

A quack is a doctor who ‘ducks’ the law.

Doctor’s office: A place where people who are run down wind up.

Stuart: “First I got tonsillitis, followed by appendicitis and pneumonia. After that, I got erysipelas with hemochromatosis. Following that, I got poliomyelitis, and finally, I ended up with neuritis. Then they gave me hypodermics and inoculations.”
Wallace: “Wow, you had a time!”
Stuart: “I’ll say! I thought I would never pull through that spelling test.”

Marcia: How do you know if you have Upside-Down Disease?
Marcy: You nose runs and your feet smell.

Mister Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you will have lost at least five pounds.” When Mr. Lee returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly sixty pounds. “Why, that is simply amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?” Mr. Lee nodded. “I will tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead on the third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” “No, from skipping.”

“A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb

“I cannot do the things I used to do,” a patient said to the doctor. “I wish you had some magic way of making me younger.” “You have it all wrong,” the doctor said. “My job is to see that you get older.”

A Brief History of Medicine: “Doctor, I have an ear ache.”
- “Here, eat this root.” (2000 B.C.E.)
- “That root is heathen; here, say this magic spell.” (1000 B.C.E.)
- “That magic spell is superstition, drink this potion.” (1850)
- “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.” (1940)
- “That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.” (1985)
- “That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.” (2000)

A doctor had worked out the vacation plans for the people he had working in his office. As they looked at the schedule, the doctor said, “All in favor, stick out your tongues and say, ‘Aaahhh.’”

Doctor: Have you ever had trouble with dyspepsia?
Patience: Only once.
Doctor: When was that?
Patient: When I tried to spell it.

“My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass.” -Leslie Grimutter (pseudonym of Terri Guillemets (born 1973))

A fellow walked into a doctor’s office, and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.” She took down his name, address, medical insurance number, and then told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.” She took down his height, weight, and medical history, and then told him to wait in the waiting room. Half an hour later, a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.” So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and then told him to take off his clothes and wait for the doctor. An hour later, the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.” The doctor said, “Where?” The man said, “Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?”

Patient: Doctor, how do I cure my sleepwalking?
Doctor: Put bubble-wrap on your bedroom floor.

“The best of healers is good cheer.” -Pindar: “Nemean Ode”

Patient: Doctor, do I have an underactive thyroid?
Doctor: No, just an overactive fork.

“If you ignore your health for long enough, it will go away.” -Author Unknown

Patient: “When I touch my tongue to aluminum foil wrapped around a balloon while leaning against my washing machine, I feel a peculiar tingling in my toes - what is wrong with me?”
Doctor: “You have too much spare time.”

Will doctors ever go from ‘practicing medicine’ to ‘doing medicine’?

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a yo-yo.
Doctor: Are you stringing me along?

“The best six doctors: sunshine, water, rest, air, exercise, diet.” -Wayne Fields

Patient on phone: I cannot sleep, Doctor. Can you do anything for me?
Doctor: Stay on the phone and I will sing you a lullaby.

“No families take so little medicine as those of doctors, except those of apothecaries*.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Junior (1841 - 1935): “Medical Essays”
*apothecaries are similar to pharmacists

A man walked into a doctor’s office and was sent immediately to an exam room. The doctor entered and looked him over. The man had a green bean sticking out of his left ear, a carrot sticking out of his right ear, and a celery stalk sticking out of one nostril. “Doc, it is just terrible, I am in awful shape - what do you think it could be that is the matter with me?” The doctor replied, “Well, for starters, you are not eating properly.”

“If you want to stay healthy, just follow my proven method: I am so poor that I cannot afford to be sick, and so busy that I don’t have time to be sick.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

A doctor was consulting with his patient. “I checked your symptoms on Google. If you want a second opinion, I’ll check with Yahoo.”

Patient: I think I’m losing my memory.
Doctor: When did it start?
Patient: When did what start?

“I wonder why you can always read a doctor’s bill but you can never read his prescription.” -Finley Peter Dunne (1867 - 1936)

Parent: Doctor, Doctor, my child has swallowed a pen!
Doctor: Do not worry - just use a pencil until I get there.

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. “Where are you hurting?” asked the doctor. “You have to help me, I hurt all over,” said the woman. “What do you mean, all over?” asked the doctor, “be a little more specific.” The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, “Oh, that hurts!” Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, “Ouch! That hurts, too.” Then she touched her right earlobe, “Even that hurts,” she cried. The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and then told her his diagnosis: “You have a broken finger.”

“First, do no harm.” [English translation]
“Primum non nocere.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown: “Hippocratic Oath”

A saintly Christian fellow went to the doctor for a medical checkup. He said to the doctor, “I feel terrible. I have excruciating pains in my head. Please tell me what is wrong with me.” “Let’s begin with a few questions,” said the doctor. “Do you drink much?” “Alcohol?” said the man. “I’m a teetotaler. Never touch a drop of that stuff.” “How about smoking?” asked the doctor. “Never,” replied the man. “Tobacco is bad and I have strong principles against it.” “Are you up late nights?” asked the doctor. “Oh, no,” said the man. “Worldliness is a sin. I’m against it. I am always in bed by 9:30 every night - always have been.” “I have seen this before,” said the doctor. “It just may be that your halo is on too tight.”

Doctor: You appear to have a cold.
Patient: Actually, I am just rehearsing for the part of Sneezy in “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”

“After these two, Dr. Diet and Dr. Quiet, Dr. Merriman is requisite to preserve health.” -James Howell (1593 - 1666)

Patient: Doctor, I think my eyesight is getting worse.
Clerk: It certainly is - this is a jewelry store!

“My stomach has been bothering me, Doctor,” complained the patient. “What have you been eating?” asked the doctor. “I only eat jelly beans.” “Jelly beans?!” exclaimed the astonished doctor. “Maybe that is the trouble. What kind do you eat?” “All kinds,” replied the man, “Red ones for breakfast, yellow and orange ones for lunch, blue ones for afternoon snacks, and purple and black for dinner.” “I see the problem,” said the doctor. “You haven’t been getting any greens!”

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking there are two of me.
Doctor: One at a time, please.

One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he had not been feeling well lately. The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor said, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after you eat lunch. Then, just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.” Surprised to be put on so much medicine, the man stammered, “Doc, exactly what is my ailment?” The doctor replied, “You are not drinking enough water.”

A doctor told a man that if he ran 5 miles a day for 300 days, he would lose 75 pounds. At the end of 300 days, the man called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. “What’s the problem?” asked the doctor. The man said, “I’m 1,500 miles from home.”

If these jokes are not making you feel better, it may be time to see your doctor, and if these jokes are making you feel better, it may be time to see your doctor - what do we know, we are not doctors and we do not give medical advice! This is ‘MFOL!’ . . .

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Employment and Work

5/10/2018

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“Work offers us the opportunity to discover who we are and what we can do.” -Author Unknown

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy;
All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy.
-Author Unknown

“Find something in life you can give the best of yourself to.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Personnel Director, speaking to new trainee: “. . . or, if you prefer, you can elect to skip coffee breaks entirely, and retire three years sooner.”

“Work is the basis of living. I’ll never retire. A man’ll rust out quicker than he’ll wear out.” -Harland Sanders

Employee: Sir, I’ve been with you for twenty-seven years, and I’ve never before asked for a raise.
Boss: That’s why you’ve been with me for twenty-seven years.

Worker’s Prayer

Now I get me up to work,
I pray the Lord I may not shirk.
If I should die before tonight,
I pray the Lord my work’s all right.

-Author Unknown

“It is the first of all problems for a man to find out what kind of work he is to do in this Universe.” -Thomas Carlyle: “Address at Edinburgh” (2 April 1866)

They laughed when they saw him put iodine on his paycheck. They didn’t know he had an awful cut in his salary.

“Don’t bother to boast of your work to others; good work speaks for itself.” -Author Unknown

Keep your eye on the ball, your shoulder to the wheel, and your ear to the ground - now try to work in that position.

“Thank God every morning when you get up that you have something to do that day which must be done, whether you like it or not. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you temperance and self-control, diligence and strength of will, cheerfulness and content, and a hundred virtues which the idle never know.” -Charles Kingsley

“Everything considered, work is less boring than amusing oneself.” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)

“I tell you, sir, the only safeguard of order and discipline in the modern world is a standardized worker with interchangeable parts. That would solve the entire problem of management.” -Jean Giraudoux

“The most important question to ask on the job is not, “What am I getting?” The most important question to ask on the job is, ‘What am I becoming?’” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009)): “Jim Rohn’s Weekly E-zine” (11 February 2003)

Let us realize that:
the privilege to work is a gift,
the power to work is a blessing,
the love of work is success!
-David O. McKay (David Oman McKay (1873 - 1970))

“Doctor Lillian Gilbreth, professor of management at Purdue University, studied women in a dress factory. Some of them were limp with fatigue; some bright-eyed and wide awake. Yet all the women had been working the same number of hours. Doctor Gilbreth found that most of the wide-awake ones had plans for the evening - a party or a date - and were anticipating a good time. The tired ones were those who had nothing to look forward to.” -Amy Selwyn: as quoted in “Coronet” magazine

A guy showed up late for work. The boss yelled, “You should’ve been here at 8:30!” The guy replied, “Why? What happened at 8:30?”

“Work banishes those three great evils: boredom, vice, and poverty.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“I have to take my paycheck to the bank. It’s too little to go by itself.” -Author Unknown

“It doesn’t matter whose payroll you are on, you are working for yourself.” -Author Unknown

A man said to his wife, “I don’t want to go to work today. It’s a jungle out there.” She said, “Don’t worry, I put a banana in your lunchbox.”

“The highest reward from your working is not what you get for it but what you become by it.” -Sydney J. Harris

The first United States Minimum Wage Law was instituted in 1938. The minimum wage was set at 25 cents per hour.

Boss: The person who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

“Labor, if it were not necessary for existence, would be indispensable for the happiness of man.” -Samuel Johnson

“There are two kinds of people: People who like their jobs, and people who don’t work here anymore.” -Author Unknown

“Work is either fun or drudgery. It depends on your attitude. I like fun.” -Colleen C. Barrett (born 1944)

“We spend most of our lives working. So why do so few people have a good time doing it?” -Richard Branson: as quoted in the “New York Times” (18 February 1993) newspaper

On the morning of the last day of school, Johnny’s mother went into his bedroom and hollered, “Wake up and get ready for school!” Johnny pulled the sheets up over his face and muttered, “Give me one good reason why I should go to school today.” His mother answered, “Well, for starters, you are the school principal.”

Workplace Sign: ‘2’ days without a Human Rights Violation!

“The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.” -James Baldwin (1924 - 1987)

“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.” -James Goldsmith (1933 - 1997)

“. . . a fair day’s wages for a fair day’s work.” -Author Unknown: as quoted by Alpheus Cary in a speech (7 October 1824) at Faneuil Hall, Boston, Massachusetts, United States of America

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom - I’ll show you how.”

“If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.” -Author Unknown

Career Advice

Don’t be
A jerk
At work.

-Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“There are no small jobs, only small people.” -Author Unknown

The following was found in an employee handbook: “Be thankful for your problems, because if they were less difficult, someone with less ability and lower pay would have your job.”

“What we do for a living does not matter as much as how we do it.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

The Fable of the Crow and the Rabbit.

A crow was sitting in a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground under the tree, and took his leisure. Suddenly, a fox appeared, pounced on the rabbit, and ate it. The moral of the story is, to be able to lounge around and do nothing all day, you must be sitting very, very high up.

-Author Unknown

“Give sail to ability.” -Author Unknown: Japanese proverb

Workplace Rules
1. The boss is always right.
2. When the boss is wrong, refer to Rule 1.

So, you are thinking of becoming a comedian, musician, artist, song writer, actor, inventor, poet . . . these are interesting ‘sidelines,’ but as they say, “Don’t quit your day job,” because you will need a means to support yourself while you pursue your creative ideas, and that means having a ‘real job’ with a real income that pays the rent and puts food on the table during the years it will take for you to develop a talent and years it will take for you to be discovered. Yes, you should definitely pursue your dreams - while continuing to work at the job that provides you with an income.

“Business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before important meetings.” -Scott Adams

A meeting was in progress when all the lights went out. The department head asked everyone present to raise their hands. As soon as everyone complied, the lights went on again. The department head said, “We have just proved the truth of the saying, ‘Many hands make light work.’”

“Without work, all life goes rotten.” -Albert Camus

Desk: A waste-paper basket with drawers.

“Don’t let your superiors know that you are better than they are.” -Arthur Bloch

Overheard: When I asked for a work break, my supervisor said, “You don’t need a break. We gave you one when we hired you.”

Boss to new employee: Amazing - you’ve been with us only two days and already you’re a month behind.

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The Man Who Gets Promoted

The ordinary fellow does an ordinary task,
     He’s mighty fond of ‘good enough’ and lets it go at that;
But the chap who gets promoted, or the raise he doesn’t ask,
     Has just a little something more than hair beneath his hat.

The ordinary fellow lives an ordinary day,
     With the ordinary fellow he is anxious to be quit;
But the chap who draws attention and the larger weekly pay,
     Has a vision for the future and is working hard for it.

He tackles every problem with the will to see it through,
     He does a little thinking of the work that comes to hand;
His eyes are always open for the more that he can do,
     You never find him idle, merely waiting a command.

The ordinary fellow does precisely as he’s told,
     But someone has to tell him what to do, and how, and when;
But the chap who gets promoted fills the job he has to hold
     With just a little something more than ordinary men.

-Edgar A. Guest: “The Passing Throng” (1923)

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Overheard: At the end of each shift, we tell all of our employees, “You are fired. Come back tomorrow morning, and we’ll re-hire you.”

“There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes.” -William J. Bennett

The boss joined a group of workers in a meeting and told some jokes he’d heard recently. Everybody laughed loudly. Everybody, that is, except Bonnie. When the boss noticed that he was getting no reaction from Bonnie, he said, “What’s the matter, Bonnie? No sense of humor?” “My sense of humor is fine,” she said. “But I don’t have to laugh. I’m starting a job with another company tomorrow.”

Employee Breakroom Notice: Your Mother Does Not Work Here, So You Will Have To Clean Up Your Own Messes.

Work: Something to do between weekends.

“By 1960, work will be limited to three hours a day.” -John Langdon-Davies (1897 - 1971)

Overheard: I was thinking that with a few more deductions, my take-home pay wouldn’t be enough to get me there. Then, it finally happened - the deductions and withholdings have now exceeded my earnings, and last week, the company didn’t send me a pay check, they sent me a bill!

“I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth, even if it costs them their jobs.” -Samuel Goldwyn

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A manager let employees know how valuable they are with the following memo:

You Arx A Kxy Pxrson

Xvxn though my typxwritxr is an old modxl, it works vxry wxll - xxcxpt for onx kxy. You would think that with all thx othxer kxys functioning propxrly, onx kxy not working would hardly bx noticxd; but just onx kxy out of whack sxxms to ruin thx wholx xffort.

You may say to yoursxlf - Wxll, I’m only onx pxrson. No onx will noticx if I don’t do my bxst. But it doxs makx a diffxrxncx, bxcausx an xffxctivx organization nxxds activx participation by xvxry onx to thx bxst of his or hxr ability.

So, thx nxxt timx you think you arx not important, rxmxmbxr my old typxwritxr. You arx a kxy pxrson.

-Thx Boss

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“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” -Peter Drucker

“You don’t get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“A human being must have occupation, if he or she is not to become a nuisance to the world.” -Dorothy L. Sayers (1893 - 1957): “Are Women Human?” (1938); type of work: address given to a women’s society

“Variety may be the spice of life, but monotony provides the groceries.” -Author Unknown

“Work is more fun than fun.” -Noël Coward (1899 - 1973)

Well, it is time to go to work again . . . we hope to see you back here at ‘MFOL!’ right after your shift ends . . .

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Happiness

5/9/2018

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Do more of what makes you happy . . . like writing messages on foggy windows with your fingers . . .

“Happiness walks on busy feet.” -Kitte Turmell

“The world is full of happiness, and plenty to go round, if you are only willing to take the kind that comes your way.” -Jean Webster: “Daddy-Long-Legs” (1912)

“He alone is the happy man who has learned to extract happiness not from ideal conditions but from actual ones about him.” -Author Unknown

“A happy life is built up of little clumps of violets noticed along the roadside.” -Author Unknown

“On the whole, the happiest people seem to be those who have no particular cause for being happy except that they are so.” -William R. Inge (William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954))

“Find your own happiness . . . it’s not the same for everyone.” -Author Unknown

Cheerfulness

I’m glad the sky is painted blue
And the Earth is painted green
And such a lot of nice fresh air
All sandwiched in between.

-Author Unknown

“The secret of happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles.” -Author Unknown

“Happiness begins in facing life with a smile and a wink.” -Author Unknown

“The best way to secure future happiness is to be as happy as is rightfully possible today.” -Charles W. Eliot

“The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719)

“Happiness is a choice.” -Barry Neill Kaufman

“The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime.” -Author Unknown

“You have it easily in your power to increase the total sum of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“Happiness seems made to be shared.” [English translation]
“Le bonheur semble fait pour être partagé.” [original French]
-Pierre Corneille (1606 - 1684): “Notes par Rochefoucauld”

“Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect; it just means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.” -Author Unknown

“Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it.” -Jacques Prévert (1900 - 1977)

“Happiness will bring you good luck.” -Author Unknown: fortune cookie saying

“Too happy would you be, did you but know your own advantages.” -Vergil (Publius Vergilius Maro, also known as Virgil (70 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.))

“It’s being so cheerful as keeps me going.” -Mona Lott’s catch phrase on “ITMA” (1939 - 1949), a BBC radio program

“Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passed.” -Author Unknown

“A lot of happiness is overlooked because it doesn’t cost anything.” -Author Unknown

“Whoever is happy will make others happy too.” -Anne Frank (1929 - 1945): “The Diary of a Young Girl” (1952)

“Not only is there a right to be happy, there is a duty to be happy. So much sadness exists in the world that we are all under obligation to contribute as much joy as lies within our powers.” -John Sutherland Bonnell

“You do not find a happy life. You make it.” -Camilla E. Kimball (Camilla Eyring Kimball (1894 - 1987))

“To be happy you must be your sunshine.” -C. E. Jerningham

“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Look at the trees, look at the birds, look at the clouds, look at the stars . . . and if you have eyes you will be able to see that the whole existence is joyful. Everything is simply happy. Trees are happy for no reason; they are not going to become prime ministers or presidents and they are not going to become rich and they will never have any bank balance. Look at the flowers - for no reason. It is simply unbelievable how happy flowers are.” -Osho (Rajneesh Chandra Mohan Jain)

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” -Teresa of Calcutta (also known as Mother Teresa (1910 - 1997))

“Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies.” -Gene Hill

“Now happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature: it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool.” -John Mason Good (1764 - 1827): “The Book of Nature” (1826), Series III, Lecture VII

“Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.” -Frank Baer

“Happiness! Can any human being undertake to define it for another?” -Dinah Craik (Dinah Maria Craik (1826 - 1887)): “A Woman’s Thoughts about Women” (1858), Chapter 10

“I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.” -Martha Washington (1731 - 1802)

“Happiness is a way-station between too little and too much.” -Channing Pollock (1880 - 1946)

“To me there is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” -Robert Louis Stevenson (Robert Louis Balfour Stevenson (1850 - 1894))

“How true it is that, if we are cheerful and contented, all nature smiles, the air seems more balmy, the sky clearer, the Earth has a brighter green . . . the flowers are more fragrant . . . and the Sun, Moon, and stars all appear more beautiful, and seem to rejoice with us.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“True happiness consists in making others happy.” -Author Unknown

“Happiness is simply a habit of looking on the brighter side of everything.” -Richelle E. Goodrich: “Smile Anyway: Quotes, Verse, & Grumblings for Every Day of the Year” (5 December 2013)

“The happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.” -Judith May

“Happiness is in the heart, not in circumstances or in things.” -Author Unknown

“Folks are generally as happy as they make up their minds to be.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“Spread happiness; a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” -Author Unknown

“Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.” -William Cowper (1731 - 1800): “Task,” book III, line 41

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180))

“If you ever find happiness hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, on her nose all the time.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))
(spectacles: eyeglasses)

“To find out what one is fitted to do, and to secure an opportunity to do it, is the key to happiness.” -John Dewey (1859 - 1952)

“People need joy. Quite as much as clothing. Some of them need it far more.” -Margaret Collier Graham

“Happiness springs from intense activity in congenial surroundings.” -Harold Nicholson

“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” -Author Unknown: “Holy Bible,” (King James Version (1611)), ‘The Book of Proverbs,’ chapter 17, verse 22

“There is no happiness except in the realization that we have accomplished something.” -Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings.” -Elizabeth Gilbert: “Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, Indonesia, and India” (16 February 2006) book

“Happiness is not the acquisition of anything; it’s the understanding of something.” -Vernon Howard

“Jumping for joy is good exercise.” -Author Unknown

“Happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it is too late.” -Robert R. Updegraff

“Cheerful people, the doctors say, resist disease better than glum people. In other words, ‘The surly bird catches the germ.’” -Author Unknown

“Happiness belongs to those who are sufficient unto themselves. For all external sources of happiness and pleasure, are by their very nature, highly uncertain, precarious, ephemeral, and subject to chance.” -Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860)

“We deem those happy who, from the experience of life, have learned to bear its ills, without being overcome by them.” [English translation]
“Ducimus autem hos quoque felices, qui ferre incommoda vitæ, nec jactare jugum vita didicere magistra.” [original Latin]
-Juvenal (Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis (about C.E. 55 - C.E. 130)): “Satires,” XII, 20

“Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions; it is governed by our mental attitude.” -Dale Carnegie (1888 - 1955)

“The greatest happiness is to be that which one is.” -Theodore Herzl

“A single joy can scatter a hundred griefs.” -Author Unknown

“Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” -Guillaume Apollinaire (Wilhelm Apollinaris de Dostrowitsky (1880 - 1918))

“A light heart lives long.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

“The great end of all human industry is the attainment of happiness. For this were arts invented, sciences cultivated, laws ordained, and societies modelled, by the most profound wisdom of patriots and legislators. Even the lonely savage, who lies exposed to the inclemency of the elements and the fury of wild beasts, forgets not, for a moment, this grand object, of his being.” -David Hume (1711 - 1776): “The Stoic,” ‘Essays, Moral, Political and Literary,’ part 1, essay 16, as published in “The Philosophical Works of David Hume” (1826), volume 3, page 167

“Happiness is a direction and not a place.” -Sydney J. Harris (1917 - 1986)

“The happy people are those who are producing something; the bored people are those who are consuming much and producing nothing.” -William R. Inge (William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954))

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” -Frederick Koenig

“The path to cheerfulness is to sit cheerfully and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1788))

“Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.” -Steve Maraboli (born 1975)

“Happiness is not perfected until it is shared.” -Jane Porter (1776 - 1850)

“What is happiness and unhappiness? It depends so little on the circumstances; it depends really only on what happens inside a person. I am grateful for every day . . . and that makes me happy.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906 - 1945)

“The happiest people are the ones who make others happy.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t wait for things to get easier, simpler, better. Life will always be complicated. Learn to be happy right now. Otherwise, you’ll run out of time.” -Author Unknown

“Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.” -Bernard Meltzer (Bernard C. Meltzer (1916 - 1998))

“When you seek happiness for others, you will find it for yourself.” -Lori Moreno

“The happiest people are those who think the most interesting thoughts. Those who decide to use leisure as a means of mental development, who love good music, good books, good pictures, good company, good conversation, are the happiest people in the world. And they are not only happy in themselves, they are the cause of happiness in others.” - William L. Phelps (William Lyon Phelps (1865 - 1943))

“The secret of happiness is something to do.” -John Burroughs (1837 - 1921)

“Resolve to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845)

“If you observe a really happy man, you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden, or looking for dinosaur eggs in the Gobi desert. He will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar button that has rolled under the radiator. He will not be striving for it as if it were a goal in itself, nor will he be seeking for it among the nebulous wastes of metaphysics . . . To find happiness, we must seek for it in a focus outside ourselves.” -W. Beran Wolfe

“Act as if you were already happy, and that will tend to make you happy.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“To be happy, make other people happy.” -W. Clement Stone (William Clement Stone (1902 - 2002))

“The road to happiness lies in two simple principles: find what it is that interests you and that you can do well, and when you find it, put your whole soul into it; every bit of energy and ambition and natural ability you have.” -John D. Rockefeller III (John Davison Rockefeller III (1906 - 1978))

“I do not know of any sure way of making others happy as being so oneself.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875)

“Be happy. It’s one way of being wise.” -Sidonie Gabrielle Colette (1873 - 1954)

“The joy that you give to others is the joy that comes back to you.” -John Greenleaf Whittier (1807 - 1892)

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . now you can be giddy every day, and spread the merriment! We were so happy while working on this topic that we had to check periodically to be sure that our feet were still on the ground!

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Failures and Successes

5/7/2018

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Violet: May I ask you the secret of your success?
Iris: There is no easy street. You simply jump at your opportunity.
Violet: But how can I tell when my opportunity comes?
Iris: You can’t. You’ve just got to keep on jumping.

“The only thing that separates successful people from the ones who aren’t is the willingness to work very, very hard.” -Helen Gurley Brown (1922 - 2012)

“There is no point at which you can say, ‘Well, I’m successful now, I might as well take a nap.’” -Carrie Fisher (born 1956)

“The secret of success is the ability to survive failure.” -Noël Coward (1899 - 1973)

“In public, we say the race is to the strongest; in private, we know that a lopsided man runs the fastest along the little side hills of success.” -Frank M. Colby

“I am not a failure if I don’t succeed; I am successful because I tried.” -Susan Jeffers (1938 - 2012))

“You never become a howling success by just howling.” -Bob Harrington (1950 - 1992)

“The secret of success is to triple your rate of failure.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“How can they say my life isn’t a success? Have I not for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?” -Logan Pearsall Smith (1865 - 1946)

“Success is not about ‘who you know,’ but rather ‘who knows you.’” -Author Unknown

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try a grin!” -Author Unknown

“You are the only person who can really label what you do as a success or a failure.” -Author Unknown

“Failures and setbacks are ingredients for a great success story.” -Author Unknown

“Successful and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities. They vary in their desires to reach their potential.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (1947))

Judgement

Before God’s footstool to confess
A poor soul knelt, and bowed his head;
“I failed,” he cried. The Master said,
“Thou didst thy best - that is success!”

-Author Unknown

“Drifting through life without aim or purpose is the first cause of failure.” -Author Unknown

“I owe all my success in life to having been always a quarter of an hour beforehand.” -Horatio Nelson (1758 - 1805)

“Success is difficult, it requires enormous effort. Those who can work through the struggle become successful.” -Jackie Joyner

“Success and failure. We think of them as opposites, but they’re really not. They’re companions - the hero and the sidekick.” -Laurence Shames

“No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road, turn back.” -Author Unknown: Turkish proverb

“If at first you don’t succeed, you’re running about average.” -M. H. Alderson

“Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.” -Christopher Lasch

If I should win, let it be by the code,
With my faith and my honor held high,
But if I should lose, let me be the first to stand by the road,
And cheer as the winner walks by.
-Sam Haskell: “Promises I Made My Mother”

“What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?” -Robert Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“For success, take the ‘t’ out of can’t.” -Author Unknown

“Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“Success: All it takes is all you’ve got.” -Author Unknown

“Notice the difference between what happens when a man says to himself, ‘I have failed three times,’ and what happens when he says, ‘I am a failure.’” -S. I. Hayakawa (Samuel Ichiye Hayakawa (1906 - 1992))

“Success is the maximum utilization of the ability that you have.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Success comes in cans; failure comes in can’ts.” -Author Unknown

“Success comes to many men because they were deprived of advantages others had.” -Author Unknown

“Failure is the path of least persistence.” -Author Unknown

“Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do.” -Author Unknown

“The next best thing to winning is losing! At least you’ve been in the race.” -Nellie Hershey Tullis

“The secret to success is to start from scratch and keep on scratching.” -Author Unknown

“Keep steadily before you the fact that all true success depends at last upon yourself.” -Theodore T. Hunger

“Failure is the first step towards success.” -Author Unknown

“The toughest part of getting to the top of the ladder is getting through the crowd at the bottom.” -Author Unknown

“Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“Failures are the stepping stones by which we reach success.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.” -Lloyd Jones

“Achieve success in any area of life by identifying the optimum strategies
and repeating them until they become habits.” -Charles J. Givens

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“Ninety-nine percent of success is built on failure.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day, while failure is simply a few errors in judgement, repeated every day. It is the accumulative weight of our disciplines and our judgements that leads us to either fortune or failure.” -Author Unknown

“The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail.” -Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970)

“Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying the basic fundamentals.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“The common idea that success spoils people by making them vain, egotistic, and self-complacent is erroneous; on the contrary it makes them, for the most part, humble, tolerant, and kind. Failure makes people bitter and cruel.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)): “The Summing Up” (1938), page 182

“If at first you do succeed, try something harder.” -Ann Landers (Esther Pauline Friedman Lederer (1918 - 2002))

“You always pass failure on the way to success.” -Mickey Rooney (1920 - 2014)

“The most unfortunate thing that happens to a person who fears failure is that he limits himself by becoming afraid to try anything new.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

“One fails forward toward success.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“An Unfailing Success Plan: At each day’s end write down the six most important things to do tomorrow; number them in order of importance, and then do them.” -Author Unknown

“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently.” -Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)

“Failure is success if we learn from it.” -Malcolm S. Forbes (Malcolm Stevenson Forbes (1919 - 1990))

“Ask yourself the secret of your success. Listen to your answer, and practice it.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“Failure is not falling down; failure is when you don’t get back up.” -Author Unknown

“For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Book of Proverbs,’ chapter 24, verse 16

“Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall.” -Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774)

“Failure? I never encountered it. All I ever met were temporary setbacks.” -Dottie Walters

“One of the commonest mistakes and one of the costliest is thinking that success is due to some genius, some magic - something or other which we do not possess. Success is generally due to holding on, and failure to letting go. You decide to learn a language, study music, take a course of reading, train yourself physically. Will it be success or failure? It depends upon how much pluck and perseverance that word ‘decide’ contains. The decision that nothing can overrule, the grip that nothing can detach will bring success. Remember the Chinese proverb, ‘With time and patience, the mulberry leaf becomes satin.’” -Maltbie D. Babcock (Maltbie Davenport Babcock (1858 - 1901))

“Failure is an event, never a person.” -William D. Brown: “Welcome Stress!” (1983)

“We are all self-made but only the successful admit it.” -Author Unknown

“Failure is God’s way of saying, ‘Excuse me, you’re moving in the wrong direction.’” -Author Unknown

“The most successful people are not necessarily the most popular.” -Author Unknown

“There is only one success . . . to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)): “Where the Blue Begins” (1922)

Failure itself can be a success if 3 questions are answered:
1. What happened?
2. What caused it?
3. What can I learn from this experience?
-H. Stephen Glenn

“If you could find out what the most successful people did in any area and then you did the same thing over and over, you’d eventually get the same results they do.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“You have to look successful in order to be successful.” -Author Unknown

“He who has never failed somewhere, that man cannot be great.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)

“Success consists of doing the common things of life uncommonly well.” -Author Unknown

“I couldn’t wait for success . . . so I went ahead without it.” -Jonathan Winters (Jonathan Harshman Winters III (1925 - 2013))

“People don’t fail, they give up.” -Author Unknown

“It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.” -Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970)

“Behind every success is a succession of failures.” -Rick Beneteau

“I can give you a six-word formula for success: ‘Think things through - then follow through.’” -Eddie Rickenbacker (1890 - 1973)

“If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” -Mary Pickford (Gladys Louise Smith (1893 - 1979))

“Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.” -Joyce Brothers (1927 - 2013)

“Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” -Louis E. Boone (Louis Eugene Boone (1941 - 2005))

“Success isn’t how far you get, but the distance you travel from where you start.” -Author Unknown

“If you fail, never give up, because FAIL means First Attempt In Learning. End is not the end. END means Effort Never Dies. If you get no as an answer, remember NO means Next Opportunity. Positive thinking!” -Author Unknown

“What is called failure is still partial success, because you tried - and success can come only through trying. To achieve complete success, you just need to keep trying.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Behind every successful man there are a lot of unsuccessful years.” -Bob Brown

“Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” -George S. Patton (George Smith Patton, Junior (1885 - 1945))

“It is infinitely more exciting to live a life of catastrophic failures than a life of could-haves, should-haves, and would-haves.” -M. H. Meng

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“All successful people have the habit of doing the things failures don’t like to do. They don’t like doing them either necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose.” -Albert E. Gray

“Success is dependent on effort.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me.” - Howard Nemerov (1920 - 1991)

“Association influences success. Be with the right people, not the crowd.” -Moses Simuyemba

“A failure is not always a mistake; it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.” -B. F. Skinner

“You are successful the moment you start moving toward a worthwhile goal.” -Charles Carlson

Thank you for visiting ‘MFOL!’ . . . because you are the best part of our day!

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Numbers and Counting

5/5/2018

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Maybe numbers are not so scary after all . . .

Candace: What is the number 2’s favorite day of the week?
Ophelia: Twosday!

Counting

Here I come number one
Like an ostrich I can run
Here I come number two
Bouncing like a kangaroo
Here I come number three
Squich, squich, squich like a chimpanzee
Here I come number four
Like a lion I can roar
Here I come number five
Teach the elephants how to jive
Here I come number six
Monkeys doing lots of tricks
Here I come number seven
Eagles soar up to Heaven
Here I come number eight
Flamingoes stand so tall and straight
Here I come number nine
Penguins marching in a line
Here I come number ten
The animals shout, “Let’s begin again!”

-Author Unknown

One: Slightly more than none.

If you were to start counting right now nonstop for twenty-four hours every day, you would be over 31,000 years old by the time you counted up to one trillion. 1, 2, 3, 4 . . . did we mention that you would also be very sleepy, since you would be counting twenty-four hours a day without sleep?

The Garden

One, two, three,
The garden is growing.
Four, five, six,
Now it needs hoeing.
Seven, eight, nine,
Down go the weeds.
Ten, eleven, twelve,
Water it needs.
Thirteen, fourteen,
Here comes a shower.
Fifteen, sixteen,
A carrot and a flower!

-Author Unknown

Can you imagine trying to count without numbers?

The number 4 is the only number in the English language that has the same number of letters in its name as in its meaning.

“Lots of people can’t count to 10. They are usually the ones in front of you in the supermarket express lane.” -Sam Ewing (1920 - 2001): as quoted in “The Saturday Evening Post” (29 November 1996)

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Want.
Want, who?
Good, now try counting to three!

“Some people say one is the loneliest number, but it also must be a very brave and strong little number to stand all on its own.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Problem: On your way to Clown College, you count twenty houses on your right, and on your way home, you count twenty houses on your left. How many houses have you counted in total?
Solution: Twenty, because you counted the same houses both times.

Mary: You know what’s odd?
Paul: Every other number?

Our modern-day system of numbers is often erroneously called ‘Arabic numerals,’ but they were invented in India by Arya Bhatta, so to be accurate and give proper credit where it is due, they must be called ‘Indian numerals.’

Number Poem

Down you run and 1 is done.
Around, and down, and out go you,
That’s the way to make a 2.
Around, and around, just like a bee,
That’s the way to make a 3.
Down, across, and down once more,
That’s the way to make a 4.
Short neck, belly fat,
Number 5 wears a hat.
Down, around, in a circle you go,
That’s a six, just as you know.
Straight across, slide down from Heaven,
That’s the way to make a 7.
First a snake, then come back straight,
That’s the way to make an 8.
First a ball and then a line,
That’s the way to make a 9.
Tall straight, circle then,
That’s the way to make a 10.

-Author Unknown

Zero is the first and only number that contains a letter ‘z.’ Please note that although ‘zillion’ also contains a z, it is not an actual number, but a term for a vague, undefined large quantity.

Randy: Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Randall: Because 7, 8, 9!

There once was a town in West Virginia, United States of America called ‘6.’

Take a Number

Imagine a world
Without mathematics
No rulers or scales
No inches or feet
No dates or numbers
On house or street
No prices or weights
No determining heights
No hours running through
Days and nights
No zero, no birthdays
No way to subtract
All of the guesswork
Surrounding the fact
No sizes for shoes
Or suit or hat
Wouldn’t it be awful
To live like that?

-Mary O’Neill

Zero: A nice round number.

A simpleton was watching the news with her friend. The newscaster said, “There was a plane crash today. Seven Austrian men and two Brazilian men are among the confirmed casualties.” The simpleton turned to her friend and said, “Oh my goodness! What a disaster! How many are in a Brazilian?”

What comes after a million, a billion, and a trillion? A quadrillion, a quintillion, a sextillion, a septillion, an octillion, a nonillion, a decillion, and an undecillion.

There are three types of people: those who know how to count, and those who do not.

Why is ‘quite a few’ the same as ‘quite a lot’?

One ‘googol’ is the number 1 followed by 100 zeros. A ‘googolplex’ is the number 1 followed by a googol zeros, a number so ridiculously big that it cannot be written down, because there is not enough room in the Universe to fit it in. In fact, one googolplex is a number so big that there is not even enough matter in the Universe to form all the zeros in it.

Great and Fine

Zero, two, four, six, eight:
Being even is just great!
One, three, five, seven, nine:
Being odd is just fine!

-Author Unknown

Infinity is an endless quantity that goes on forever. Infinity cannot be reached. Infinity cannot be measured. Infinity is not growing; it is already fully formed. The ‘lemniscate’ is the symbol for infinity. It looks like a number eight that has fallen over or is resting on its side, and for this reason, some people call it a ‘lazy eight.’

According to the latest news, we are running out of numbers and soon we will not be able to count things. Trading in the number 14 has been frozen as the number hit dizzying heights in the stock market before yesterday’s closing bell. Shoppers have been reporting that they are finding local retailers are completely sold out of the number 20. Numbers expert Adam Uppe has written two best-selling books on the subject, titled “How to Survive the Coming Number Shortage” and “Living in a World Without Numbers,” both from Infinity Publishing House.

Attie: What 5-digit number has 6 left when 2 is taken away from it?
Attila: Sixty, which becomes six when two letters are taken away.

“Number rules the Universe.” -Pythagoras (Pythagoras of Samos (570 B.C.E. - 495 B.C.E.))

Arithmophobia, also known as numerophobia, is a fear of numbers generally, but can also refer to a fear of math, numerals, certain numbers, calculations, and/or calculus. In schools, it is more commonly known as ‘math anxiety.’ The condition is fortunately not common, but for the few who do suffer from it, it is quite serious. Perhaps singing songs containing numbers could help console those frazzled few?

Annie: In what way is the number 9 like a peacock?
Ian: It is nothing without its tail.

Numbers and Counting Facts
- A few is 2 to 'not many' of something.
- A couple or a pair is two of something.
- A triple or a triplet is three of something.
- A quadruple or a quadruplet is four of something.
- A dozen is twelve of something.
- A baker’s dozen is 12 + 1, or 13, of something.
- A gross is a dozen dozens, which is 12 x 12 or 144.
- A score is twenty of something.

Steven: How do you make the number one disappear?
Stephen: Add a ‘g’ to it and it is ‘gone’!

Triskaidekaphobia is a persistent fear of the number 13. ‘Triskaidekaphobia’ is derived from the Greek words ‘tris’ meaning ‘three,’ ‘kai’ meaning ‘and,’ ‘deka’ meaning ‘ten,’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’ Many buildings have no 13th floor because some people associate the number 13 with bad luck. The buildings have a 12th floor, and right above that is a floor designated as the 14th floor.

Nadine: What did the 0 say to the 8?
Tanya: “Nice belt.”

Can you figure out any of the following?
2 + 2 = Fish.
3 + 3 = 8.
7 + 7 = Triangle.

“2-in-1 is a stupid term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That’s why 2 was created.” -Mitch Hedberg (Mitchell Lee ‘Mitch’ Hedberg (1968 - 2005))

The number 2 is the only number greater than zero that when added to or multiplied by itself gives the same result: 4.

Amanda: What do the numbers 11 and 69 and 88 all have in common?
Amy: They can all be flipped upside down and still be the same.

While visiting Annapolis, a man noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. “What are they doing?” he asked the tour guide. “Each year,” the tour guide replied with a grin, “the upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard.” “So what’s the answer?” my friend asked him when we were out of earshot of the freshmen. The guide replied, “Just one.”

“If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?” -Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Names for the number ‘0’ include zero, naught, nil, zilch, and zip.

Meredith: Do you know what is special about the number 8,549,176,320?
Merry: It contains the numbers zero through nine in alphabetical order.

Riddle:
My head and tail both equal are.
My middle is slender as a bee.
Whether I stand on head or heel
is quite the same to you or me.
But if my top half should be removed,
the matter’s true though passing strange,
Because then I to nothing would change.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a number 8.

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one or eleventeen?

Numbers and Counting Quiz
- Name an odd number.
- Name an even number.
- What number comes between 12 and 14?
- What happens when you write a 0 (zero) after any other number?
- Why do we need numbers?
- How many is a few?
- How many is a couple or a pair?
- How many is a triple or triplet?
- How many is a quadruple or quadruplet?
- How many is a dozen?
- How many is a baker’s dozen?
- How many is a gross?
- If a score is twenty, how many is four score and seven?

“You have to be odd to be number one.” -Doctor Seuss (pseudonym of Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 - 1991))

Bertha: I a number that rhymes with more - what am I?
Brenda: You are four.

Numbers and Counting Quiz Answers
- Odd numbers are 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, and so forth.
- Even numbers are 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, and so forth.
- The number between 12 and 14 is 13.
- Writing ‘0’ or zero after a number increases the value of the number by ten times.
- We need numbers so that we can count things.
- A few is 2 to ‘not many’ of something.
- A couple or a pair is 2 of something.
- A triple or a triplet is 3 of something.
- A quadruple or quadruplet is 4 of something.
- A dozen is 12 of something.
- A baker’s dozen is 12 + 1, or 13.
- A gross is 144, or 12 x 12, of something.
- Four score and seven is (4 x 20) + 7, or 87.

“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give Fido only two of them.” -Phil Pastoret

Four is the only number that when spelled out has as many letters. Forty is the only number whose letters are in alphabetical order. One is the only number whose letters are in reverse alphabetical order. Do you know any trivia about numbers?

Question: Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
Answer: They already 8.

Please help us make every number count by sending your number and counting facts and jokes to MakeFunOfLife@mail.com. This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . now let’s all go count something . . .

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Laughter and Laughing

5/5/2018

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Laughter has magical properties . . .

“Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over, and showing it principally in one spot.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))

“There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870))

“I like people who make me laugh. I honestly think that laughing is the thing I like most. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person.” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

Overheard: I just want to spend the rest of my life laughing.

“Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.” -Bob Newhart (George Robert ‘Bob’ Newhart (born 1929))

“I think laughter may be a form of courage.” -Linda Ellerbee (born 1944)

“There is little success where there is little laughter.” -Andrew Carnegie (1835 - 1919)

“The amount you laugh in your relationships with others is the true measure of the health of your personality.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“You know, there’s endorphins in laughter, as there are endorphins in running in the park.” -Marlo Thomas (Margaret Julia ‘Marlo’ Thomas (born 1937))

Just Laughin’

Did it ever occur to you
Of the good that you might do,
Just Laughin’.
Did you ever stop to think
That a sorrow you could sink,
Just Laughin’.
The world is like a dream,
Your thoughts are mostly clean,
When you’re laughin’.
The whole world seems more bright,
Everything turns out right,
Just Laughin’.
Victory seems to be your pace
And love just floods most every face,
Just Laughin’.
Everyone’s so bright and gay,
Work just seems to be like play
When you’re laughin’.
You’ll find the world much sweeter
And yourself will feel much better,
Just Laughin’.
Life itself would be so fine,
You can make it more divine,
Just Laughin’.
It’s the little things you do
And you know God loves you too,
When you’re laughin’.

-Hudson W. Cady (Hudson Waterman Cady (1894 - 1973))

“A laugh is a smile that bursts.” -Mary H. Waldrip (Mary Helen Waldrip (1914 - 1988))

“So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter.” -Gordon W. Allport (Gordon Willard Allport (1897 - 1967))

Laughter is good exercise. Each time you laugh, you burn up an average of 3.5 calories.

“Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.” -Author Unknown

“Laughing helps; it’s like jogging on the inside.” -Author Unknown

“The One whose throne is in Heaven sits laughing . . .” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Book of Psalms,’ chapter 2, verse 4

“Laugh at yourself, before anyone else can.” -Elsa Maxwell (1883 - 1963)

Daryl: Why is it a bad idea to laugh at people when they are down?
Lydia: They might get up!

“Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. After all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.” -Dame Edna Everage (fictional character portrayed by John Barry Humphries (born 1934))

“Laugh, if you are wise.” -Marcus Valerius Martialis (also known simply as Martial (about C.E. 40 - about C.E. 103))

“At first, I only laughed at myself. Then I noticed that life itself is amusing. I’ve been in a generally good mood ever since.” -Marilyn vos Savant (born 1946)

Laughing Time

It was laughing time, and the tall Giraffe
     Lifted up his head, and began to laugh:
     Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

And the Chimpanzee on the ginkgo tree
     Swung merrily down with a “Tee Hee Hee”:
     Hee! Hee! Hee! Hee!

“It’s certainly not against the law!”
     Croaked Justice Crow with a loud guffaw:
     Haw! Haw! Haw! Haw!

The Dancing Bear who could never say, “No”
     Waltzed up and down on the tip of his toe:
     Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!

The Donkey daintily took his paw,
     And around they went: “Hee-Haw! Hee-Haw!”
     Hee-Haw! Hee-Haw!

The Moon had to smile as it started to climb;
     All over the world it was laughing time!
     Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Hee-Haw! Hee-Haw!
     Hee! Hee! Hee! Hee! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

-William Jay Smith (1918 - 2015): “Laughing Time” (1955)

“If you can laugh at it, you can live with it.” -Erma Bombeck (Erma Louise Bombeck (1927 - 1996))

“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” -Victor Borge (born as Bǿrge Rosenbaum (1909 - 2000))

“A laugh’s the wisest, easiest answer to all that’s queer.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891): “Moby Dick” (18 October 1851)

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“Once you get people laughing, they’re listening, and you can tell them almost anything.” -Herbert Gardner

“Beware of too much laughter, for it deadens the mind and produces oblivion.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Talmud”

“A good laugh is sunshine in the house.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863)

“Laughter is the corrective force which prevents us from becoming cranks.” -Henri Bergson (Henri-Louis ‘Henri’ Bergson (1859 - 1941))

“He who laughs, lasts!” -Mary Pettibone Poole (? - 1941): “A Glass Eye at a Key Hole” (1938); type of work: book of aphorisms and apothegms

“A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market.” -Charles Lamb (1775 - 1834)

“At the height of laughter, the Universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.” -Jean Houston (born 1937)

“Laughter is to life what shock absorbers are to automobiles. It won’t take the potholes out of the road, but it sure makes the ride smoother.” -Barbara Johnson

“Learn to laugh at your troubles and you’ll never run out of things to laugh at.” -Lyn Karol

“Laughter translates into any language.” -Author Unknown

“Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy . . . that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat of the moment. Banish tension and concern and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996)): “A Better Way to Live” (1990), ‘Rule Eleven’

“A good time to laugh is any time you can.” -Linda Ellerbee (born 1944)

“Laughter is God’s hand on the shoulders of a troubled world.” -Minnie Pearl (pseudonym of Sarah Ophelia Colley (1912 - 1996))

“Of all days, the day on which one has not laughed is the one most surely wasted.” -Nicolas Chamfort (Sébastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort (1741 - 1794))

“Laughter is an instant vacation.” -Milton Berle (born Mendel Berlinger (1908 - 2002))

“Those who cannot laugh at themselves leave the job to others.” -Author Unknown

“Sharing laughter heals hearts.” -Patsy Clairmont (born 1945)

“Laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.” -Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824))

“Laughter is the best medicine.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

What are the benefits of laughter? Laughter really is good medicine. Yes, studies have shown it time after time! Laughter lowers blood pressure, creates much better moods around the house, prevents illnesses, speeds up healing, and produces endorphins just like runners experience when they reach their peak running level, which prevents pain sensors from hurting so badly. Laughing may lower levels of stress hormones and strengthen the immune system.

“Laughter is the Sun that drives Winter from the human face.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone.” -Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850 - 1919) (1883)

“If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.” -Edgar Watson Howe (1854 - 1937): as attributed in “Forbes” (1980)

“As a general rule, the freedom of any people can be judged by the volume of their laughter.” -Author Unknown

“You show your character in nothing more clearly that by what you think laughable.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I’ll go to it laughing.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891): “Moby Dick” (18 October 1851)

“Joyfulness keeps the heart and face young. A good laugh makes us better friends with ourselves and everybody around us.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places.” -Andrew Mason

“Man alone suffers so excruciatingly in the world that he was compelled to invent laughter.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“It is more fitting for a man to laugh at life than to lament over it.” -Lucius Annaeus Seneca (also known as Seneca the Younger or simply as Seneca (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

World Laughter Day is celebrated on the first Sunday of May of every year. The first celebration was on 10 January 1998 in Mumbai, India, and was arranged by Doctor Madan Kataria, founder of the worldwide Laughter Yoga movement.

“The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.” -Shirley MacLaine (pseudonym of Shirley MacLean Beaty (born 1934))

“A complete revaluation takes place in your physical and mental being when you’ve laughed and had some fun.” -Catherine Ponder (born 1927)

This is ‘MFOL!’ Have you laughed today? If not, there is still time . . . just continue reading . . .

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Opportunities and Possibilities

5/3/2018

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You opportunity awaits . . . right this way, please . . .

“Opportunity, sooner or later, comes to all who work and wish.” -Edward George Geoffrey Smith-Stanley (1799 - 1869)

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” - George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans (1819 - 1880))

“Any human anywhere will blossom in a hundred unexpected talents and capacities simply by being given the opportunity to do so.” -Doris Lessing (Doris May Lessing (born 1919))

“You may miss all of the good opportunities if you are willing to try only what you are fairly certain you can succeed at. You have to try many things that might not work out.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Far too many people have no idea of what they can do because all they have been told is what they can’t do.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Opportunity is rare, and a wise man will never let it go by him.” -Bayard Taylor (1825 - 1878)

“Be ready when opportunity comes . . . Luck is the time when preparation and opportunity meet.” -Roy D. Chapin, Junior (Roy Dikeman Chapin, Junior (1915 - 2001)) (Similar quotations attributed to Earl Nightingale, Neil Pert, and others)

“Be a can-do, will-try person. Focus on what you have and not what you don’t have, what you can do rather than what you cannot do.” -Marian Wright Edelman

“Opportunity does not come and knock on our doors. We must ourselves go knocking on doors to find opportunity, persistently knocking until we have an answer, either yes or no, and then we go on to the next ten thousand doors, one at a time, without pausing between them, smiling as best we are able, and speaking our carefully prepared and memorized introductions in a polite conversational style.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“We must look for the opportunity in every difficulty instead of being paralyzed at the thought of the difficulty in every opportunity.” -Walter E. Cole

“Your aspirations are your possibilities.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“Small opportunities are often the beginnings of great achievements.” -Calvin Coolidge (John Calvin Coolidge (1872 - 1933))

“Opportunities multiply as they are seized.” -Sun-Tzu: “The Art of War”

“Opportunities don’t happen, you create them.” -Chris Grosser

“I’ve been lucky. Opportunities don’t often come along. So, when they do, you have to grab them.” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Opportunity.
Opportunity, who?
Fooled you – opportunity only knocks once!

“Some say opportunity knocks only once, that is not true. Opportunity knocks all the time, but you have to be ready for it.” -Louis L’Amour (born Louis Dearborn LaMoore (1908 - 1988))

“If you’re looking for a big opportunity, seek out a big problem.” -Author Unknown

“Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)): “Tales of the Jazz Age” (1922), ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’

“Thou hast only to follow the wall far enough and there will be a door in it.” -Marguerite de Angeli: “The Door in the Wall” (1949)

“Just because a door closes, doesn’t mean that it’s locked.” -Hannah Vlach

“Opportunity seems to have an uncanny habit of favoring those who have paid the price of years of preparation.” -Author Unknown

“The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are.” -John Burroughs (1837 - 1921)

“Wherever there is danger, there lurks opportunity; whenever there is opportunity, there lurks danger. The two are inseparable. They go together.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“Don’t wait for the right opportunity; create it.” -George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

“The trouble with opportunity is it always comes disguised as work.” -Author Unknown

“Our thoughts and imagination are the only real limits to our possibilities.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Your only limitations are those you set up in your mind, or permit others to set up for you.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.” -Author Unknown

“Are you missing opportunities because you are too focused on obstacles?” -Jeffrey Gitomer (born 1946)

“Opportunities are seldom labeled.” -John A. Shedd (John Augustus Shedd (1859 - 1928))

“Most people live, whether physically, intellectually, or morally, in a very restricted circle of their potential being. They make use of a very small portion of their possible consciousness, and of their soul’s resources in general, much like a man who, out of his whole bodily organism, should get into a habit of using and moving only his little finger.” -William James (1842 - 1910): as quoted in “The Letters of William James” (1920)

“Your diamonds are not in far distant mountains or in yonder seas; they are in your own backyard, if you but dig for them.” -Russell H. Conwell (Russell Herman Conwell (1843 - 1945)): “Acres of Diamonds” (1890)

“Within our dreams and aspirations we find our opportunities.” -Sue Ebaugh

“Men who are resolved to find a way for themselves will always find opportunities enough; and if they do not find them, they will make them.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“It is one of life’s laws that as soon as one door closes another opens. But the tragedy is we look at the closed door and disregard the open one.” -André Gide (André Paul Guillaume Gide (1869 - 1951)) (similar quotation attributed to Helen Adams Keller)

“Opportunity seekers do not sit at home waiting by the telephone or the computer, nor do they hang out in familiar haunts and with the same old crowd. Opportunity seekers go out and knock on unfamiliar doors and enter intimidating buildings and go up and down on elevators and stairs. They do a lot of walking, dressed and groomed as best they can, doing best what they can with what they have until they have more and know more. They meet people who are better than they are, who outclass them in every way, but they continue on.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Opportunity . . . often it comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great. Weak men wait for opportunities; strong men make them.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.” -Doug Larson (1902 - 1981)

“It’s hard to hear when opportunity is knocking if you are too busy knocking the opportunity.” -Author Unknown

“What is opportunity, and when does it knock? It never knocks. You can wait a whole lifetime, listening, hoping, and you will hear no knocking. None at all. You are opportunity, and you must knock on the door leading to your destiny. You prepare yourself to recognize opportunity, to pursue and seize opportunity as you develop the strength of your personality, and build a self-image with which you are able to live - with your self-respect alive and growing.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“Opportunity knocks once at every man’s door and then keeps on knocking.” -George Ade (1866 - 1944)

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their head turned up way too loud to hear it.” -Brian Vaszily

“Opportunity is more valuable than money.” -Grant Cardone

“When opportunity knocks, you can’t say, ‘Come back later.’” -Leonard Turkel

“That old saying about opportunity only knocking once is as archaic as the flat-earth theory and as patently untrue. Opportunity knocks all the time - and it rings your doorbell, calls you up, and sends you e-mails.” -Victoria Moran

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” -Milton Berle (born as Mendel Berlinger (1908 - 2002))

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Book of Matthew,’ chapter 7, verses 7 and 8 (see also verses 9 through 12)

“The activity you’re most avoiding contains your biggest opportunity.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

“Old ways won’t open new doors.” -Author Unknown

“Kindness unlocks doors that were thought to be closed forever.” -Author Unknown

“We have the power within, but the secret of success is to employ our power and talents and be prepared for opportunity when it comes.” -Walter Matthews

“The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Jumping at several small opportunities may get us there more quickly than waiting for one big one to come along.” -Hugh Allen

“Most successful men have not achieved their distinction by having some new talent or opportunity presented to them. They have developed the opportunity that was at hand.” -Bruce Barton (1886 - 1967)

“Arrange whatever pieces come your way.” -Virginia Woolf (Adeline Virginia Woolf (1882 - 1941))

“Every situation, properly perceived, becomes an opportunity.” -Helen Schucman

“With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable.” -Thomas Buxton (Thomas Fowell Buxton (1786 - 1845)): as quoted in Frank Leslie: “Sunday Magazine” (January - June 1886), Volume XIX, page 89

“When opportunity knocks, don’t question your ability based on your shortcomings. Know your strengths and start your journey!” -Author Unknown

“If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes - then learn how to do it later.” -Richard Branson

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . wishing you many glorious days as you make your way through this world of endless possibilities . . .

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Impossible and Possible

5/3/2018

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“I’ve always had the feeling that nothing is impossible if one applies a certain amount of energy in the right direction. If you want to do it, you can do it.” -Nellie Bly (pseudonym of Elizabeth Cochrane Seaman (1864 - 1922))

“Impossible things are simply those which so far have never been done.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“You can’t pick a lock with a pickle, you can’t cure the sick with a sickle, pluck figs with a figment, drive pigs with a pigment, nor make your watch tick with a tickle. You can’t slacken your gait with a gaiter, you can’t get a crate with a crater, catch moles with a molar, or bake rolls with a roller. But you can get a wait from a waiter.” -Author Unknown: in “Sunshine Magazine”

“Never let the word ‘impossible’ stop you from pursuing what your heart and spirit urge you to do. Impossible things come true every day.” -Robert Cooper

“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” -Vince Lombardi (Vincent Thomas Lombardi (1913 - 1970))

“Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.” -Author Unknown

“I’m always doing what I cannot do yet, in order to learn how to do it.” -Vincent van Gogh (Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 - 1890)): letter (1885) to Anthon van Rappard

“When work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible.” -Nancy Coey

“The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible.” -Richard M. DeVos

“I have learned to use the word ‘impossible’ with the greatest caution.” -Wernher von Braun (Wernher Magnus Maximilian, Freiherr von Braun (1912 - 1977))

“I believe anything is possible. Research into quantum physics proves that a system changes simply by someone observing it. Therefore, all you have to do is be awake and aware of your environment, and that enables you to transform everything around you. It sounds like hocus pocus, but scientists are coming to realize that just thinking about something can make it happen. Turns out maybe faith can move mountains.” -Christine Anderson

“The impossible is possible if you want it to be.” -Author Unknown

“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.” -Walt Disney (Walter Elias ‘Walt’ Disney (1901 - 1966)): as attributed in Derek Walker: “Animated Architecture” (December 1982), page 10

“We have no limits - we create them in our mind.” -Bud Labranche

“Most of the things worth doing in the world were said to be impossible before they were done.” -Louis Brandeis (Louis Dembitz Brandeis (1856 - 1941))

“Things that are impossible just take longer.” -Ian Hickson

“Impossible: A word that is to be found only in the dictionaries of fools.” -Author Unknown

“Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.” -Doug Larson (1902 - 1981)

“The impossible is often the untried.” -Jim Goodwin

“Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said. ‘One can’t believe impossible things.’ ‘I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it half an hour a day. Why, sometimes, I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.’” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Through the Looking-Glass” (1872), chapter 5

“What is impossible today that if made possible would change everything?” -Joel Barker

“It is our duty as human beings to proceed as though the limits of our capabilities do not exist.” -Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (1881 - 1955)

Impossible: Something that nobody can do - until somebody does it!

“If you develop the absolute sense of certainty that powerful beliefs provide, then you can get yourself to accomplish virtually anything, including those things that other people are certain are impossible.” -William L. Phelps (William Lyon Phelps (1865 - 1943))

“The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.” -Arthur C. Clarke (Arthur Charles Clarke (1917 - 2008))

“You have to believe in the impossible.” -Howard Head

“There is nothing impossible to him who will try.” -Alexander of Macedonia (also known as Alexander the Great (356 B.C.E. - 323 B.C.E.))

“Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.” -John Heywood (about 1497 - 1580): “Proverbs” (1546)

“Yes, you can be a dreamer and a doer too, if you will remove one word from your vocabulary: impossible.” -Robert Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“Nothing is impossible.” -Author Unknown

“The difficult is what takes a little time; the impossible is what takes a little longer.” -Fridtjof Nansen (1861 - 1930): as quoted in the “Listener” (14 December 1939)

“Everything is always impossible before it works.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

“What we need are more people who specialize in the impossible.” -Theodore Roethke (1908 - 1963)

“Nothing is impossible; the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993) (similar quotation attributed to Monsieur Nana Adom)

“You can do the impossible, because you have been through the unimaginable.” -Christina Rasmussen (born 1972)

“When someone tells you that you can’t do something, perhaps you should consider that they are only telling you what they can’t do.” -Sheldon Cahoon

“Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” -Francis of Assisi (1181 - 1226)

“It is the act of a madman to pursue impossibilities.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180))

“Every great achievement was once considered impossible.” -Author Unknown

“Do not suppose that, if you find something hard to achieve, it is beyond human capacity; rather, if something is possible and appropriate for man, assume that it must also be within your own reach.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180)): “The Meditations” (C.E. 167)

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” -Author Unknown

“To get profit without risk, experience without danger, and reward without work is as impossible as it is to live without being born.” -A. P. Gouthey (Aldolph Philip Gouthey (some sources may show Adolph Philip Gouthey) (1892 - 1963))

“All things are possible until they are proved impossible and even the impossible may only be so, as of now.” -Pearl S. Buck (Pearl Sydenstricker Buck (1892 - 1973)): “A Bridge for Passing” (1962)

“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” -Jamie Paolinetti

“It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.” -Robert H. Goddard (Robert Hutchings ‘Bob’ Goddard (1882 - 1945))

“You cannot make a silk purse of a sow’s ear.” -Stephen Gosson (1554 - 1624): “The Ephemerides of Phialo” (1579)

“So many things are possible just as long as you don’t know they’re impossible.” -Norton Juster (born 1929): “The Phantom Tollbooth” (1961)

“To believe a Business impossible, is the Way to make it so.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 5138

“A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” -Walter Bagehot (1826 - 1877)

“Ordinary people believe only in the possible. Extraordinary people visualize not what is possible or probable, but rather what is impossible. And by visualizing the impossible, they begin to see it as possible.” -Cherie Carter-Scott (born 1949)

“There is no limitation other than what you think.” -Kenneth Mills

“Anything in life is possible if you make it happen. And it’s never too late.” -Jack LaLanne (François Henri ‘Jack’ LaLanne (1914 - 2011))

“When someone tells you it can’t be done, it’s more a reflection of their limitations, not yours.” -Author Unknown

“The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man’s determination.” -Tommy Lasorda

“Never tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the Moon.” -Paul Brandt

“What ‘exists’ is only a small part of what is ‘possible.’” -Pere Alberch

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible” (NIV), ‘Matthew,’ chapter 19, verse 26

“Think of the thing you cannot do, and then do it.” -Author Unknown

“Impossible is only an opinion.” -Author Unknown

“Every noble work is at first impossible.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“It’s going to be difficult, but difficult is not impossible.” -Author Unknown

“Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities - always see them, for they’re always there.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Either I will find a way, or I will make one.” -Philip Sidney (1554 - 1586)

“Most of the things worth doing in the world have been declared impossible before they were attempted.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“What is now proven was once only imagined.” -William Blake (1757 - 1827): “Proverbs of Hell” (1790 - 1793)

“All big things in this world are done by people who are naive and have an idea that is obviously impossible.” -Frank Richards

“There is a better way to spell ‘impossible’: ‘I’m possible.’” -Author Unknown

“I dwell in possibility.” -Emily Dickinson (1830 - 1886)

“Few things are impossible to diligence and skill.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): “Rasselas” (1759)

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“Once you stop dismissing something as unattainable, then you start working on its development.” -Jerome Pearson

“The most rewarding things you do in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done.” -Arnold Palmer

“You can’t roller-skate in a buffalo herd, but you can be happy if you’ve a mind to.” -Roger Miller

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . wishing you many trouble-free days as you make your way through a world in which more things are possible all the time . . .

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Self-Improvement and Self-Help

4/29/2018

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“Anybody can do just about anything with himself that he really wants to and makes up his mind to do. We are capable of greater things than we realize.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Change yourself and your fortune will change with you.” -Author Unknown

“How do we become true and good, happy and genuine, joyful and free? Only by getting in touch with good, true, happy, genuine human beings, only by seeking the company of the strong and the free, only by catching spontaneity and freedom from those who are themselves spontaneous and free.” -Charles Malike (1906 - 1988)

Let’s build a better you . . . we will need some glue, pop-sickle sticks, pipe cleaners, glitter, crayons, yarn, construction paper . . . what, you say you are not made out of any of those things?

“Be the kind of person you want to meet.” -Author Unknown

“A truly wise person will constantly move forward, striving for self-improvement.” -Marvin J. Ashton (Marvin Jeremy Ashton (1915 - 1994))

“Let us strive to improve ourselves, for we cannot remain stationary; one either progresses or retrogrades.” -Mademoiselle Du Deffand (Marie Anne de Vichy-Chamrond, Marquise du Deffand (1697 - 1780))

“By improving yourself, you make the world better.” -Author Unknown

“You don’t have to be sick to get better! You don’t have to have a bad attitude to get a better one.” -Thomas D. Willhite (Thomas Dale Willhite (1940 - 1983))

“Ignore the ones who say it’s too late to start over. Disregard those who say you’ll never amount to anything. Turn a deaf ear to those who say you aren’t smart enough, fast enough, tall enough, or big enough - ignore them.” -Max Lucado (born 1955)

“In the long term the most important question . . . is not what you are but what you are becoming.” -Gary Hamel

“It only takes one person to change your life - you.” -Ruth Casey

“Everyone planning to make something worthwhile out of himself must be a self-remade man, and should be an intelligent remodeling job going on all the time.” -Sterling W. Sill (Sterling Welling Sill (1903 - 1994))

“Build upon strengths, and weaknesses will gradually take care of themselves.” -Joyce C. Lock

“There’s only one corner of the Universe you can be certain of improving and that’s your own self . . . You have to begin there, not outside, not on other people. That comes afterwards, when you’ve worked on your own corner.” -Aldous Huxley (Aldous Leonard Huxley (1894 - 1963)): “Time Must Have a Stop” (1944)

“Know thyself? If I knew myself, I’d run away.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“To become different from what we are, we must have some awareness of what we are.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)

“No man is capable of self-improvement if he sees no other model but himself.” -Conrado I. Generoso

“Be yourself. No one can ever tell you you’re doing it wrong.” -James Leo Herlihy (1927 - 1993)

“How can there be self-help ‘groups’?” -Author Unknown

“I have had more trouble with myself than with any other man I have ever met.” -Dwight L. Moody (Dwight Lyman Moody (1837 - 1899))

USA: Unconditional Self-Acceptance.

“If you are still searching for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” -Author Unknown

“People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy.” -Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774)

“If you want a kinder world, then behave with kindness; if you want a peaceful world, make peace within.” -Dan Millman

“Man is nothing else but what he makes of himself.” -Jean-Paul Sartre (1905 - 1980)

“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” -Carol Burnett (born 1933)

“Might I give counsel to any man, I would say to him, try to frequent the company of your betters. In books and in life, that is the most wholesome society; learn to admire rightly; the great pleasure of life is that. Note what great men admire.” William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863)

“Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you act.” -George W. Crane (George Washington Crane III (1901 - 1995))

“Do not think of your faults, still less of other’s faults; look for what is good and strong, and try to imitate it. Your faults will drop off, like dead leaves, when their time comes.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“Chiefly the mold of a man’s fortune is in his own hands.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626)

“If we are unduly absorbed in improving our lives we may forget altogether to live them.” -Alan Watts (Alan Wilson Watts (1915 - 1973))

“Improvement begins with I.” -Arnold H. Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“None will improve your lot if you yourself do not.” -Bertolt Brecht (Eugen Berthold Friedrich ‘Bertolt’ Brecht (1898 - 1956)) (1933)

“For a person to build a rich and rewarding life for himself, there are certain qualities and bits of knowledge that he needs to acquire. There are also things, harmful attitudes, superstitions, and emotions that he needs to chip away. A person needs to chip away everything that doesn’t look like the person he or she most wants to become.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“Help thyself.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“The better person you become, the better people you will attract.” -Author Unknown

“I am still far from being what I want to be, but with God’s help I shall succeed.” -Vincent van Gogh (Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 - 1890))

“Be yourself, everyone else is taken.” -Author Unknown

“In that worthiest of all struggles, the struggle for self-mastery and goodness, we are far less patient with ourselves than God is with us.” -J. G. Holland (Josiah Gilbert Holland (1819 - 1881))

“Whatever you are, try to be a good one.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863): as quoted in Laurence Hutton’s memoir, ‘A Boy I Once Knew,’ which was serialized in “St. Nicholas: An Illustrated Magazine for Young Folks” (March 1897), Volume 24, Number 5, page 413, column 2

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” -Carl Rogers (1902 - 1987)

“Identify and develop your unique talents and abilities, the things that make you special.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“The simple part is, every thought we think and every word we speak is creating our future. If you change your thinking, you can change your life.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017))

“It is right to be contented with what we have, but never with what we are.” -James Mackintosh (1765 - 1832): as attributed in “The True Briton” (7 July 1853) magazine

“If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.” -Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)

“Try a little harder to be a little better.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“The better I get, the more I realize how much better I can get.” -Martina Navratilova (born 1956)

“Happiness and self-confidence come naturally when you feel yourself moving and progressing toward becoming the very best person you can possibly be.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“That’s the risk you take if you change: that people you’ve been involved with won’t like the new you. But other people who do will come along.” -Lisa Alther (born 1944)

“You don’t get better by chance; you get better by change.” -Author Unknown: As quoted in Kit Summers and Robert Schwarz: “Juggling with Finesse” (1987), page 19

“The first step to improvement, whether mental, moral, or religious, is to know ourselves - our weaknesses, errors, deficiencies, and sins, that, by divine grace, we may overcome and turn from them all.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 517

“Seeing yourself as you want to be is the key to personal growth.” -Author Unknown

“There is no shame in having fallen. Nor any shame in being born into a lowly estate. There is only shame in not struggling to rise. And also shame for not wishing to attain the better. Or not dreaming about it and praying for it.” -Samuel Amalu

“We are either progressing or retrograding all the while; there is no such thing as remaining stationary in this life.” -James Freeman Clarke (1810 - 1888)

“I went to a bookstore today and asked the manager where the self-help section was. She said, ‘If I told you that would defeat the whole purpose.’” -Brian Kiley (born 1962)

“If you want a quality, act as if you already had it. Try the ‘as if’ technique.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“People never improve unless they look to some standard or example higher and better than themselves.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 156

“You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be.” -David Viscott (1938 - 1996)

“The greatest gift you can give to somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, ‘If you will take care of me, I will take care of you.’ Now I say, ‘I will take care of me for you if you will take care of you for me.’” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.” -William Faulkner (William Cuthbert ‘Will’ Faulkner (1897 - 1962))

“Everything comes by being! Be the love you seek. Be the friend you seek. Be the honesty you seek. Be the integrity you seek. Be the patience you seek. Be the tolerance you seek. Be the compassion you seek.” -Bryant McGill (born 1969)

“It is necessary to try to surpass oneself always; this occupation ought to last as long as life.” -Queen Christina of Sweden (born Kristina Augusta Wasa, later known as Christina Alexandra (1626 - 1689))

If you want to attract happy, positive things . . . become a happy, positive person! Work from the inside out!” -Mandy Hale (born 1978)

“You are more likely to be successful at attempting to be better than yourself than to be better than someone else.” -Author Unknown

“To be always intending to live a new life, but never to find time to set about it; this is as if a man should put off eating, and drinking, and sleeping, from one day and night to another, till he is starved and destroyed.” -John Tillotson (1630 - 1694): as attributed in “The Ladies’ Companion; or, Peoples’ Annual” (August 1842)

“Never mind what others do; do better than yourself, beat your own record from day to day, and you are a success.” -William J. H. Boetcker (William John Henry Boetcker (1873 - 1962))

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” -Judy Garland (Frances Gumm (1922 - 1969))

“It may be all right to be content with what you have; never with what you are.” -B. C. Forbes (Robert Charles ‘Bertie’ Forbes (1880 - 1954))

“There is nothing noble in being superior to some other man. True nobility comes from being superior to your previous self.” -Author Unknown: Hindustani proverb: as quoted in George Derby, compiler: “A Conspectus of American Biography” (1906), page 726

“When you improve a little each day, eventually big things occur. When you improve conditioning a little each day, eventually you have a big improvement in conditioning. Not tomorrow, not the next day, but eventually a big gain is made. Don’t look for the big, quick improvement. Seek the small improvement. Seek the small improvement one day at a time. That’s the only way it happens - and when it happens, it lasts.” -John Wooden (1910 - 2010)

“Be the best version of you.” -Author Unknown

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . we are learning right along with you . . .

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Inspiration and Motivation

4/26/2018

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Footprints in the sands of time are not made while sitting down . . .

“I want to get you excited about who you are, what you are, what you have, and what can still be for you. I want to inspire you to see that you can go far beyond where you are right now.” -Virginia Satir (Virginia Pagenkopf Satir (1916 - 1988))

“Go as far as you can see, and when you get there you will see farther.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.” -John Burroughs (1837 - 1921)

“The great composer does not set to work because he is inspired, but becomes inspired because he is working. Beethoven, Wagner, Bach, and Mozart settled down day after day to the job in hand. They didn’t waste time waiting for inspiration.” -Ernest Newman (1868 - 1959)

“Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it.” -Madeleine L’Engle (Madeleine L’Engle Camp (1918 - 2007))

“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.” -Louisa May Alcott (1832 - 1888)

Do What You Want

Draw the art you want to see
Start the business you want to run
Play the music you want to hear
Write the books you want to read
Build the products you want to use
Do the work you want to see done

-Austin Kleon (28 February 2012)

“This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“One ought to, every day at least, hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1842): “Wilhelm Meister’s Lehrjahre” (English: “Wilhelm Meister’s Apprenticeship”) (1795 - 1796), book 5, chapter I

“When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won’t come up with a handful of mud either.” -Leo Burnett (1891 - 1971)

“Reach for the stars, even if you have to stand on a cactus.” -Susan Longacre

“We are built to conquer environment, solve problems, achieve goals - and we find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“No one knows what he can do until he tries.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“You can have anything you want - if you want it badly enough. You can be anything you want to be, do anything you set out to accomplish, if you hold to that desire with singleness of purpose.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“Extraordinary people are committed to doing the extra things that ordinary people won’t.” -Christine Kinney

“The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.” -Jimmy Johnson (James William ‘Jimmy’ Johnson (born 1943))

“Do everything. One thing may turn out to be right.” -Humphrey Bogart (Humphrey DeForest Bogart (1899 - 1957))

“Triumph is just ‘umph’ added to ‘try.’” -Author Unknown

“The explanation of triumph is all in the first syllable.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible” (King James Version (1611)), ‘Matthew,’ chapter 7, verses 7 and 8

“If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.” -Christina Dodd

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it.” -Jonathan Winters (Jonathan Harshman Winters III (1925 - 2013))

“The measure of achievement is not winning awards. It’s doing something that you appreciate, something you believe is worthwhile. I think of my strawberry soufflé. I did that at least twenty-eight times before I finally conquered it.” -Julia Child (Julia Carolyn Child (1912 - 2004))

“Almost invariably those who have reached the summits worked harder and longer, studied and planned more assiduously, practiced more self-denial, overcame more difficulties than those of us who have not risen so far.” -B. C. Forbes (Robert Charles ‘Bertie’ Forbes (1880 - 1954))

“There is only one small letter between the words Can and Can’t . . . and that one letter will t-otally change your destiny.” -Doug Firebaugh

“Knock the ‘t’ off the ‘can’t.’” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a lion or a gazelle; when the sun comes up, you’d better be running.” -Herb Caen (Herbert Eugene ‘Herb’ Caen (1916 - 1997))

“‘How does one become a butterfly?’ she asked. ‘You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.’” -Trina Paulus (born 1931): “Hope for the Flowers” (1973), available from www.HopeForTheFlowers.com.

“Tears will get you sympathy . . . Sweat will get you results.” -Author Unknown

“If you want to see something done, just tell some human beings it can’t be done. Make it known that it’s impossible to fly to the Moon, or run a hundred meters in nine-point-nine seconds, or solve Fermat’s Last Theorem. Remind the world that no one has ever hit sixty-two home runs in a season . . . stuffed eighteen people into a Volkswagen Bug . . . set half the world free . . . or cloned a sheep. Dangle the undoable in front of the world. Then, consider it done.” -Author Unknown: Merrill Lynch, advertisement

“A man’s ambition should be high. Not scratched in dirt - carved in the sky.” -Thomas L. Forest

“You will never stub your toe standing still. The faster you go, the more chance there is of stubbing your toe, but the more chance you have of getting somewhere.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

There’s a Time

There’s a time to part and a time to meet,
     There’s a time to sleep and a time to eat,
There’s a time to work and a time to play,
     There’s a time to sing and a time to pray,
There’s a time that’s glad and a time that’s blue,
     There’s a time to plan and a time to do,
There’s a time to grin and to show your grit,
     But there never was a time to quit.

-Author Unknown

“Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.” -Author Unknown

“Every day is an opportunity to make a new happy ending.” -Author Unknown

“If you can’t learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.” -Author Unknown

Good, Better, Best

Good, better, best,
     Never let it rest
Until your Good is Better
     And your Better is the Best.

-Author Unknown

“No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big.” -Author Unknown

Everybody Is Somebody

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

-Author Unknown

“If you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, march down there and turn it on yourself.” -Author Unknown

Anything Can Be

Listen to the Mustn’ts, child,
     Listen to the Don’ts
Listen to the Shouldn’ts
     The Impossibles, the Won’ts
Listen to the Never Haves
     Then listen close to me -
Anything can happen, child,
     Anything can be.

-Shel Silverstein (Sheldon Allan ‘Shel’ Silverstein (1930 - 1999)): “Where the Sidewalk Ends” (1974)

“You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.” -Author Unknown

“Live to inspire, and one day people will say, ‘Because of you, I didn’t give up.’” -Author Unknown

“Of all the people I have ever known, those who have pursued their dreams and failed have lived a much more fulfilling life than those who have put their dreams on a shelf for fear of failure.” -Author Unknown

Words

Did is a word of achievement,
     Won’t is a word of retreat,
Might is a word of bereavement,
     Can’t is a word of defeat,
Ought is a word of duty,
     Try is a word each hour,
Will is a word of beauty,
     Can is a word of power.

-Author Unknown

“Make big plans; aim high in hope and work, remembering that a noble, logical diagram once recorded will never die, but long after we are gone will be a living thing, asserting itself with ever-growing intensity. Remember that our sons and grandsons are going to do things that would stagger us. Let your watchword be order and your beacon be beauty.” -Daniel Hudson Burnham (1846 - 1912)

“I am not a has-been. I am a will-be.” -Lauren Bacall (pseudonym of Betty Joan Perske (1924 - 2014))

What I Would Like to Be

I would like to be a Could Be
If I could not be an Are,
For a Could Be is a May Be
With a chance of going far.
I would rather be a Has Been
Than a Might Have Been by far,
For a Might Have Been has never been
But a Has Been was an Are.

-Author Unknown

“I really don’t think life is about the I-could-have-beens. Life is only about the I-tried-to-do. I don’t mind the failure but I can’t imagine that I’d forgive myself if I didn’t try.” -Nikki Giovanni (Yolande Cornelia ‘Nikki’ Giovanni, Junior (born 1943))

“Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.” -Wendell Johnson (1906 - 1965)

“Never forget all that you have survived, all that you have accomplished, all that you are capable of, all that you will do, your hopes and dreams and plans, and the bright future that awaits you. Go forward with extreme optimism!” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“It’s not what you do some of the time that counts, it’s what you do all of the time that counts.” -Jack LaLanne (François Henri ‘Jack’ LaLanne (1914 - 2011))

“Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!” -Anne Frank (1929 - 1945): “The Diary of a Young Girl” (1952)

“We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.” -Frank Tibolt (1897 - 1989)

Risk more than others think is safe.
Care more than others think is wise.
Dream more than others think is practical.
Expect more than others think is possible.
-Claude T. Bissell (Claude Thomas Bissell (1916 - 2000))

“Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of a unanimity.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)): as quoted in “American Artist” (1949)

“Every day is another chance to make your dreams come true.” -Author Unknown

“There is something that I know about you that you may not even know yourself. You have within you more resources of energy than have ever been tapped, more talent than has ever been exploited, more strength than has ever been tested, and more to give than you have ever given.” -John Gardner (1933 - 1982)

“Champions know there are no shortcuts to the top. They climb the mountain one step at a time. They have no use for helicopters!” -Judi Adler

“You can follow your heart - just don’t forget to take your head with you.” -Author Unknown

“You never know what’s around the corner. It could be everything. Or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you’ve climbed a mountain.” -Tom Hiddleston (Thomas William Hiddleston (born 1981))

“When I’m inspired, I get excited because I can’t wait to see what I’ll come up with next.” -Dolly Parton (born 1946)

Imagine all the good things that life has to offer, all the good things in the world - it is all out there waiting for you - what are you waiting for? We have much more inspiration and motivation for you on the ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ Website. To find it, go to the top of this page and click on ‘Inspiration & Motivation’ on the menu bar.

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Hats and Headwear

4/25/2018

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What the world really needs is more funny hats . . .

Og: What hat for?
Ug: Forehead, of course!

Men remove their hats and hold them over their hearts at funeral processions and funerals, when the flag of their nation passes by in a parade or procession, and when entering a church. When out of doors, men tip their hats when greeting a woman in passing.

“He wears hats, even though he has hair. Very suspicious.” -Dan Theis

In 1571, England’s Queen Elizabeth I decreed that all females over 7 years of age had to wear hats on Sundays.

If these jokes don’t make your day better, this rabbit will eat her hat . . . but first, she will remove it and put fresh strawberries on it . . . because she is a very wise rabbit.

Bonnie: Which country makes Panama hats?
Hattie: Ecuador - confused, are you?

In 1778, fashionable women of Paris, France never went out in blustery weather without a lightning rod attached to their hats.

Bonnet

There was a Young Lady whose bonnet,
Came untied when the birds sat upon it;
But she said: ‘I don’t care!
All the birds in the air
Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!’

-Edward Lear: “A Book of Nonsense” (1846)

Hats and Headwear Facts
- Headwear includes hats, bonnets, veils, and sweatbands.
- People wear hats and headwear for protection from the elements (cold, sun, wind), as a part of a uniform, to be fashionable, or out of habit.
- Some hats come in small, medium, and large, and some come in more precise and uniform measurements such as seven and one-eighth.

A tall chef’s hat is called a toque.

In this old photograph, you can count on one finger the number of people who are not wearing hats.

Hat: Something the average man covers his head with, the beggar passes around, the statesman throws into the ring, and the politician talks through.

Our hat’s off to you . . .

Hat Types and Styles
- Baseball Caps
- Bowler Hats
- Driver Hats
- Fedoras
- Rain Hats
- Stovepipe Hats
- Straw Hats
- Watch Caps
- Can you think of other types of hats?
- What is your favorite type of hat?

Do narrow-minded people wear small hats?

Tongue twister: Of all the felt I ever felt, I never felt a piece of felt which felt as fine as that felt felt, when first I felt that felt hat’s felt.

Headwear Types and Styles
- Scarves
- Bonnets
- Headbands
- Can you think of other types of headwear, not including hats?

Maude: Whenever I’m down in the dumps, I buy a new hat.
Mattie: Oh, so that’s where you get them.

Why is a person who acts crazy sometimes called ‘mad as a hatter?’ Hat makers in the 19th century used mercury, which is a poison, in the manufacture of hats. This poison had the effect of causing hatters who came in direct contact with the mercury to hallucinate, shake, and do other sorts of strange and weird things. As a result, hatters during that period had the reputation of being ‘mad.’

Old Man of Seaside

There was an old man of Seaside
Whose hat was exceedingly wide,
But he said, “Do not fail,
If it happens to hail,
To come under my hat at Seaside!”

-Author Unknown

In what way are hats like shoes for your head?

“The British electors will not vote for a man who does not wear a hat.” -William Maxwell Aitken Beaverbrook (1879 - 1964)

A hat can say a lot in a few words . . . what does this hat seem to be saying?

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . and now it is time for us to grab our hats to go out into the world to look for more ‘Hats and Headwear’ humor . . . perhaps we will we see you out there . . . wearing a hat . . .

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Animals and Animal Natures

4/24/2018

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“Animals talk to each other; I never knew but one man who could understand them - I knew he could because he told me so himself.” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

Marty: Who grants wishes to animals?
Martin: Their furry godmother.

“For a good life: Work like a dog. Eat like a horse. Think like a fox. And play like a rabbit.” -George E. Allen (1832 - 1907)

Charlotte: Which animals live in mobile homes?
Charlene: Turtles, tortoises, snails, and hermit crabs.

“One reason why birds and horses are happy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

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How Creatures Move

The lion walks on padded paws,
     The squirrel leaps from limb to limb,
While flies can crawl straight up a wall,
     And seals can dive and swim.

The worm, he wiggles all around,
     The monkey swings by his tail,
And birds may hop upon the ground,
     Or spread their wings and sail.

-Author Unknown

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“Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans (1819 - 1880)): “Scenes of Clerical life” (1858), ‘Mr. Gilfil’s Love Story’

Many Causes Have Animal Mascots
- Woodsy Owl says, “Give a hoot, don’t pollute.”
- McGruff the Crime Dog says, “Take a bite out of crime. Ruff!”
- Smokey the Bear says, “Only you can prevent wildfires.”
- Can you think of other animal mascots that support causes?

Zoophobia is a persistent fear of animals. It is understandable. Many animals have sharp teeth, sharp claws, powerful muscles, lightning speed, and strange ways about them. Perhaps even more frightening is that some animals display behaviors that are remarkably human-like, and humans are among the most terrifying of animals. We know this because we have met some of them.

Always Be Kind to Animals

Always be kind to animals,
     Morning, noon, and night.
For animals have feelings, too,
     And furthermore . . . they bite.

-Author Unknown

Animals and Animal Natures Facts
- About nine million different species of life call the Earth home.
- We are dependent on animals for our survival as a species.
- What other facts do you know about animals?

Look around and you will notice many peculiarities about animals. Dogs chase cars, cats get stuck in trees, humans gossip, and spiders cannot find their way out of bathtubs. At ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ we ourselves are always looking for fun things we might be able to do . . .

“People are beginning to see that the first requisite to success in life is to be a good animal.” -Herbert Spencer (1820 - 1903)

Squirrel with pizza slice . . . don’t eat that junk food, squirrel - it will make you fat!

Here Is the Ostrich

Here is the ostrich straight and tall
Nodding his head above us all
Here is the long snake on the ground
Wriggling over the stones he found
Here are the birds that fly so high
Spreading their wings across the sky
Here is the hedgehog prickly and small
Rolling himself into a ball
Here is the spider scuttling around
Treading so lightly on the ground
Here are the children fast asleep
And here at night the owls do peep

-Author Unknown

Danny: What do you get if you cross a cow and a camel?
Denny: A lumpy milkshake!

“There are unknown worlds of knowledge in brutes; and whenever you mark a horse, or a dog, with a peculiarly mild, calm, deep-seated eye, be sure he is an Aristotle or a Kant, tranquilly speculating upon the mysteries in man. No philosophers so thoroughly comprehend us as dogs and horses. They see through us at a glance. And after all, what is a horse but a species of four-footed dumb man, in a leathern overall, who happens to live upon oats, and toils for his masters, half-requited or abused, like the biped hewers of wood and drawers of water? But there is a touch of divinity even in brutes, and a special halo about a horse, that should forever exempt him from indignities.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891): “Redburn: His First Voyage” (1849)

Sidney: Where do lions and tigers and bears work out?
Cindy: At the jungle gym, silly!

“Animals can learn, but it is not by learning that they become dogs, cats, or horses. Only man has to learn to become what he is supposed to be.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)

Jered: What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
Jerome: A cockapoodledoo!

“The animal shall not be measured by man. In a world older and more complete than ours, they move finished and complete, gifted with extension of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear. They are not brethren; they are not underlings; they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendor and travail of the Earth.” -Henry Beston: “The Outermost House” (1928)

“Animals may be our friends, but they won’t pick you up at the airport.” -Bobcat Goldthwait

Crepuscular animals are ones that are active primarily during twilight, or dawn and dusk. The word crepuscular is derived from the Latin word ‘crepusculum’ meaning ‘twilight.’ Crepuscular animals are different from diurnal (daylight) and nocturnal (night) active animals. Some animals that are thought of as being nocturnal are actually crepuscular.

A snake and a rabbit met. Never having seen a creature of that type before, each studied the other. The snake said, “You have long ears, two funny front teeth, and you go hippety-hop. You must be a rabbit.” The rabbit nodded and said, “You have oily skin, fangs, and a split tongue. You must be either a lawyer or a politician.”

The placement of donkeys’ eyes in their heads enables them to see all four feet at all times, allowing them to be very sure-footed animals.

“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless he is absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.” -Fran Lebowitz: “Social Studies” (????)

Hurt No Living Thing

Hurt no living thing:
Ladybug, nor butterfly,
Nor moth with dusty wing,
Nor cricket chirping cheerily,
Nor grasshopper so light of leap.
Nor dancing gnat, or beetle flat,
Nor harmless worms that creep.

-Christina Rossetti (Christina Georgina Rossetti (1830 - 1894))

Should there be an Animal Olympics?

Is it more than coincidence that there are so many ‘sets’ of animals that people easily confuse: turtles and tortoises, dolphins and porpoises, rabbits and hares . . . Can you think of others?

“The best thing about animals is that they don’t talk much.” -Thornton Wilder (Thornton Niven Wilder (1897 - 1975))

Are animals people, too?

A domestic cat can frighten a black bear into climbing a tree.

Legal Disclaimer: No animals were harmed in the making of this topic; some, however, did show a total lack of interest.

Animals that can see behind themselves without turning their heads include rabbits and parrots.

Animal Names

Alligator, beetle, porcupine, whale,
Bobolink, panther, dragonfly, snail,
Crocodile, monkey, buffalo, hare,
Dromedary, leopard, mud turtle, bear,
Elephant, badger, pelican, ox,
Flying fish, reindeer, anaconda, fox,
Guinea pig, dolphin, antelope, goose,
Hummingbird, weasel, pickerel, moose,
Ibex, rhinoceros, owl, kangaroo,
Jackal, opossum, toad, cockatoo,
Kingfisher, peacock, anteater, bat,
Lizard, ichneumon, honeybee, rat,
Mockingbird, camel, grasshopper, mouse,
Nightingale, spider, cuttlefish, grouse,
Ocelot, pheasant, wolverine, auk,
Periwinkle, ermine, katydid, hawk,
Quail, hippopotamus, armadillo, moth,
Rattlesnake, lion, woodpecker, sloth,
Salamander, goldfinch, angleworm, dog,
Tiger, flamingo, scorpion, frog,
Unicorn, ostrich, nautilus, mole,
Viper, gorilla, basilisk, sole,
Whippoorwill, beaver, centipede, fawn,
Xeme, canary, polliwog, swan,
Yellowhammer, eagle, hyena, lark,
Zebra, chameleon, butterfly, shark.

-Author Unknown

Lela: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
Ella: Fowl weather.

What are scruffs? Scruffs are an area of loose skin at the nape, or back of the neck, of some animals that can be gripped and held while lifting them, and if done carefully, no harm will be done to the animal. Which animals have scruffs in their necks? Animals that have scruffs include rabbits, dogs, and cats. Why do animals have scruffs? Animals have scruffs on their necks to allow their mothers to grab them with their mouths, lift them, and carry them, whether to safety or to home. However, once animals are full grown, they should not be lifted and carried by their scruffs because they are much heavier and doing so can cause physical pain and injury to them.

Ray: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a pig?
Trey: A bird that hogs the conversation.

An effective way to deal with predators is to smell bad (skunks) or taste terrible (Monarch butterflies). Other defenses include spikes or quills (porcupines), and scales (pangolins and reptiles). Predators are animals that hunt and eat other animals, as for example, humans are predators.

Sarah: A duck, a frog, and a skunk wanted to go to an amusement park. The admission was one dollar. Which one of the three could not afford to go?
Hannah: The skunk.
Sarah: Why?
Hannah: The duck had a bill, the frog had a greenback, but the skunk only had a scent.

“Lots of people talk to animals . . . Not very many listen, though . . . That’s the problem.” -Benjamin Hoff: “The Tao of Pooh” (1982)

“Be a good animal, true to your animal instincts.” -D. H. Lawrence (David Herbert Lawrence (1885 - 1930))

Gigglepuss: What you get when you cross a hyena with a cat.

“The scientific name for an animal that doesn’t either run from or fight its enemies is lunch.” -Michael Friedman

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . there’s, like, a bunch of animals in here, or something . . .

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Nature and Wildlife

4/22/2018

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Here we see the basic elements of nature: feathers and fur.

Wild Beasts

I will be a lion
And you shall be a bear,
And each of us will have a den
Beneath a nursery chair;
And you must growl and growl and growl,
And I will roar and roar,
And then - why, then - you’ll growl again,
And I will roar some more!

by Evaleen Stein

“To me a lush carpet of pine needles or spongy grass is more welcome than the most luxurious Persian rug.” -Helen Keller (Helen Adams Keller (1880 - 1968))

“There are sharks in the water, bears in the woods, and snakes in the grass - watch your step.” -Author Unknown

“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely, or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature, and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. As long as this exists, and it certainly always will, I know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. And I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles.” -Anne Frank (1929 - 1945): “The Diary of a Young Girl” (1952)

“Life is a struggle, and all creatures great and small have evolved in fantastic ways to survive in this struggle. It is not necessary to travel to exotic places to enjoy nature. Every backyard woodlot or neighborhood stream abounds with living creatures with interesting stories to tell.” -Author Unknown

“One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Troilus and Cressida,” iii, 3

“Nature is ever at work building and pulling down, creating and destroying, keeping everything whirling and flowing, allowing no rest but in rhythmical motion, chasing everything in endless song out of one beautiful form into another.” -John Muir (1838 - 1914): “Our National Parks” (1901), Chapter 3, last paragraph

“People often consider their positions in society, but we each also have our place in nature. Even our human civilization exists within nature.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“You can’t be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet.” -Hal Borland (Harold Glen ‘Hal’ Borland (1900 - 1978)): “Sundial of the Seasons” (1964)

“Nature is the art of God.” -Dante Alighieri (also known as Durante degli Alighieri or simply Dante (about 1265 - 1321))

Tips for a Nature Walk
- Take a friend for safety and companionship.
- Tell other people when and where you are going and when you expect to return.
- Stick to the path - walking off the path kills plants, frightens animals, and causes soil erosion.
- Take a quality camera, a fully charged cell phone, and a bottle of water. Turn the cell phone off.
- Do not approach wild animals, but admire them from a distance. You may have heard that wild animals are more afraid of you than you are of them, and this may be true, but it is also true that they can seriously hurt you or worse if they feel threatened or if you are in their territory.
- If you like would your nature trail to be clean of trash, take a small trash bag with you on your nature walk and pick up any trash you find along the way.
- If you take your pet, keep it on its leash so it does not chase and hurt other animals. Pets sometimes do not fit in with wild animals, because they have had some of their survival sense bred out of them and likely lack experience in dealing with wild animals, so ideally, pets should not be taken into the wild.
- Listen with your ears, see with your eyes, feel with your feet.
- Can you think of other tips for a nature walk?

Agrizoophobia is a persistent fear of wild animals. Perhaps the way to overcome the phobia is through unleashing your inner wild animal. Start by growling, then follow that by making other wild animal sounds.

The force that makes the winter grow
Its feathered hexagons of snow,
and drives the bee to match at home
Their calculated honeycomb,
Is abacus and rose combined.
An icy sweetness fills my mind,
A sense that under thing and wing
Lies, taut yet living, coiled, the spring.
-Jacob Bronowski

“Those who believe in the ‘balance of nature’ are those who don’t get eaten.” -Charles M. Schulz (Charles Monroe Schulz (1922 - 2000))

But in the mud and scum of things
There always, always something sings.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“No one should be able to enter a wilderness by mechanical means.” -Garrett Hardin: as quoted in “The Ecologist” (February 1974)

“Discover wildlife, have children.” -Author Unknown

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The North Wind Doth Blow

The North Wind doth blow,
     And we shall have snow,
And what shall the poor robin do then?
     Poor thing!

He’ll sit in the barn,
     And keep himself warm,
And hide his head under his wing,
     Poor thing!

The North Wind doth blow,
     And we shall have snow,
And what will the dormouse do then?
     Poor thing!

Rolled up like a ball,
     In his nest snug and small,
He’ll sleep till warm weather comes in.
     Poor thing!

-Author Unknown

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“We talk of our mastery of nature, which sounds very grand; but the fact is we respectfully adapt ourselves first, to her ways.” -Clarence Day (1874 - 1935): “This Simian World” (1920)

“God writes the gospel not in the Bible alone, but on trees, and flowers, and clouds, and stars.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Though you drive away Nature with a pitchfork, she always returns.” [English translation]
“Naturam expellas furca tamen usque recurret.” [original Latin]
-Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)): “Epistles”

“Nature is not a place to visit. It is home . . .” -Gary Snyder

“I remember a hundred lovely lakes, and recall the fragrant breath of pine and fir and cedar and poplar trees. The trail has strung upon it, as upon a thread of silk, opalescent dawns and saffron sunsets.” -Hamlin Garland (1860 - 1940)

The butterfly is a flying flower,
The flower a tethered butterfly.
-Ponce Denis Écouchard Lebrun (1729 - 1807)

“In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they’re still beautiful.” -Alice Walker (born 1944)

“There is sanctuary in being alone with nature.” -Jonathan Lockwood Huie (born 1945)

“Let us a little permit Nature to take her own way; she better understands her own Affairs than we.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592))

“But, the natural world is the old river that runs through everything, and I think poets will forever fish along its shores.” -Mary Oliver (born 1935)

“One of the first conditions of happiness is that the link between Man and Nature shall not be broken.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910))

“The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful.” -e e cummings (Edward Estlin Cummings (1894 - 1962))

“Thou canst not stir a flower without troubling of a star.” -Francis Thompson (1859 - 1907)

“We cannot pluck a flower without disturbing a star.” -Loren Eiseley (1907 - 1977)

“Nature is the technology of God.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Study Nature, Love Nature, Stay Close to Nature. It Will Never Fail You.” -Frank Lloyd Wright (born Frank Lincoln Wright (1867 - 1959))

“Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake.” -Wallace Stevens

“You will find something more in woods than in books. Trees and stones will teach you that which you can never learn from masters.” -Bernard of Clairvaux (1090 - 1153)

“I would rather be amongst forest animals and the sounds of nature, than amongst city traffic and the noise of man.” -A. D. Williams (Anthony Douglas Williams)

“Nature does nothing without purpose or uselessly.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719)

“Jungles and grasslands are the logical destinations, and towns and farmland the labyrinths that people have imposed between them sometime in the past. I cherish the green enclaves accidentally left behind.” -E. O. Wilson (Edward Osborn Wilson (born 1929))

“Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence.” -Hal Borland (Harold Glen ‘Hal’ Borland (1900 - 1978))

“A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel that it may be very kind.” -Herbert Spencer (1820 - 1903)

“How glorious a greeting the Sun gives the mountains!” -John Muir (1838 - 1914)

“If I were to choose the sights, the sounds, the fragrances I most would want to see and hear and smell - among all the delights of the world - I think I would choose these: the clear, ethereal song of a white-throated sparrow singing at dawn; the smell of pine trees in the heat of noon; the lonely calling of Canada geese; the sight of a dragon-fly glinting in the sunshine; the voice of a hermit thrush far in a darkening wood at evening; and - most spiritual and moving of sights - the white cathedral of a cumulus cloud floating serenely in the blue of the sky.” -Edwin Way Teale (1899 - 1980): “The Lost Woods” (1945)

“Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

What if you woke up one morning to find that you had a trunk like an elephant, a pouch like a kangaroo, a tail like a beaver . . . You would fit right in at 'Make Fun Of Life!' because we’re all-mixed-up, too, like the topic coming up next . . .

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Ships and Sailors

4/19/2018

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Across the mighty seas they sailed, in tiny wooden ships, pushed along by the currents in the water and the currents in the air . . . Are we there yet? How much longer is this going to take? Is that what a sea monster is supposed to look like?

Iron Men and Wooden Ships

Said a salty old skipper from Wales,
“Number One, it’s all right to chew nails.
     It impresses the crew,
     It impresses me, too.
But stop spitting holes in the sails!”

-John Ciardi (John Anthony Ciardi (1916 - 1986))

“Land was created to provide a place for boats to visit.” -Brooks Atkinson

Never a ship sails out of the bay
But carries my heart as a stowaway.
-Roselle Mercier Montgomery

“Sailors, with their built in sense of order, service, and discipline, should really be running the world.” -Nicholas Monsarrat

Dean: What ship has two mates and no captain?
Irene: A courtship.

“It is not the ship so much as the skillful sailing that assures the prosperous voyage.” -George William Curtis

“If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it!” -Jonathan Winters (Jonathan Harshman Winters III (1925 - 2013))

Math Problem: A boat has a ladder that has six rungs, each rung is one foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water. The tide rises at 12 inches every 15 minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at its highest, how many rungs are under water?
Solution: None, the boat rises with the tide.

“When a man comes to like a sea life, he is not fit to live on land.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

Ships

Little ships
     Must keep to the shore;
Larger ships
     May venture more.

-Author Unknown

“Out of sight of land the sailor feels safe. It is the beach that worries him.” -Charles G. Davis

“Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.”
“In tranquillo esse quisque gubernator potest.”
-Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): “Sententiae,” Maxim 358

“Sailing ships: Mast transit.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“These tall and handsome ships, swaying imperceptibly on tranquil waters, these sturdy ships, with their inactive, nostalgic appearance, don’t they say to us in a speechless tongue: When do we cast off for happiness?” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)

“Two captains will sink the ship.” -Author Unknown: Turkish proverb

“Too many captains run the ship aground.” -Author Unknown: Greek proverb
(Similar to, “Too many cooks spoil the broth.” -Author Unknown)

“Men in a ship are always looking up, and men ashore are usually looking down.” -John Masefield

I must go down to the sea again,
     to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship
     and a star to steer her by.
-John Masefield: “Sea-Fever”

“You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don’t let yourself indulge in vain wishes.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

“Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.” -Author Unknown

“However bad the storm you are in, there is still Sun somewhere over your horizon.” -Ken Nutt

“When in danger or in doubt, port your helm and come about.” -Author Unknown

“All the water in the world, however hard it tries, can never sink the smallest ship unless it gets inside, and all the evil in the world, the blackest kind of sin, can never hurt you in the least, unless you let it in.” -Author Unknown

There was an old man in a barge,
Whose nose was exceedingly large;
     But in fishing by night,
     It supported a light,
Which helped that old man in a barge.
-Edward Lear

“In a calm sea every man is a pilot.” -Author Unknown: Spanish proverb

A shipwrecked sailor spent nearly three years on a desert island. One morning he was overjoyed to see a ship in the bay and a boat pulling onto shore. As the boat grounded on the beach, an officer jumped out and threw the sailor a pile of newspapers. “The captain’s compliments,” said the officer, “and will you please read through these and let him know whether you still wish to be rescued?”

A fully loaded supertanker traveling at normal speed takes a least 20 minutes to come to a full stop.

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” -Jimmy Dean

Danny: Why couldn’t the sailors play cards?
Tammy: Because the captain was standing on the deck.

The right side of a ship is called the starboard side because astronavigators would stand out on the plank (which was on the right side) to get an unobstructed view of the stars. The left side is called the port side because that is the side put in on at ports. Fore refers to the front or forward part of a ship, and aft refers to the back, or after part of a ship.

“A man should learn to sail in all winds.” -Author Unknown: Italian proverb

“I don’t know who named them swells. There’s nothing swell about them. They should have named them awfuls.” -Hugo Vihlen

“Ships are the nearest things to dreams that hands have ever made.” -Robert N. Rose

“Only two sailors, in my experience, never ran aground. One never left port and the other was an atrocious liar.” -Don Bamford (1990)

The first sailing boats were built in ancient Egypt.

“A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.” -John George Hermanson (1866 - 1944)

“Ships don’t sink because of the water around them. Ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.” -Author Unknown

Friendship: A ship full of friends.

Mary: What kind of ship doesn’t sink?
Gary: A friendship.

“There are big ships and small ships. But the best ship of all is friendship.” -Author Unknown

“To sail is necessary.” [English translation]
“Navigare necesse est.” [original Latin]
-Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus (5th century C.E.)

Jen: Why do sailors have trouble learning the alphabet?
Ben: Because ships sail from A to B with sea between.

“The goal is not to sail the boat, but rather to help the boat sail herself.”
-John Rousmaniere

Johnny: What sits on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
Jenny: A nervous wreck.

“The sea is the same as it has been since before men ever went on it in boats.” -Ernest Hemingway (Ernest Miller Hemingway (1899 - 1961))

“A small hole can sink a big ship.” -Author Unknown: Russian proverb

Mackerel skies and mares tails,
Soon will be time to shorten sails.
-Author Unknown

“To reach a port, we must sail - sail, not lie at anchor - sail, not drift.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt (Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882 - 1945))

Riddle:
I fly to any foreign parts,
     Assisted by my spreading wings:
My body holds an hundred hearts,
     Nay, I will tell you stranger things:
When I am not in haste I ride,
     And then I mend my pace anon;
I issue fire from my side:
     You witty youths, this riddle answer.
Solution:
I am a sailing ship.

“Don’t let the fear of a storm keep you from sailing the ship.” -Calyn Whitley

“If my ship sails from sight, it doesn’t mean my journey ends, it simply means the river bends.” -J. Enoch Powell (John Enoch ‘Enoch’ Powell (1912 - 1998))

“The good seaman is known in bad weather.” -Author Unknown

“Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea.” -Charles Cook

“A sailor without a destination cannot hope for a favorable wind.” -Leon Tec

“‘A man who is not afraid of the sea will soon be drownded,’ he said, ‘for he will be going out on a day he shouldn’t. But we do be afraid of the sea, and we do only be drownded now and again.’” -John Millington Synge (1871 - 1909): “The Aran Islands” (1907)

Two ships were loaded with cargoes of paint. One had red paint, and the other had blue paint. The ships collided. At last report, the survivors were marooned.

“I keep sailing on in this middle passage. I am sailing into the wind and the dark. But I am doing my best to keep my boat steady and my sails full.” -Arthur Ashe

Horatio Nelson, one of England’s most illustrious admirals, was throughout his lifetime never able to find a cure for his seasickness.

“No wind is a good wind if you don’t know where the harbor is.” -Author Unknown: proverb

“Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Make not your sail too big for your ballast.” -Author Unknown: English proverb

The Titanic was built in Belfast, Ireland. However, it was not the place where it was built that led to its sinking, or the quality of the work, but the design of the ship that resulted in its sinking.

Red sky by morning, sailor take warning.
Red sky at night, sailor’s delight.
-Author Unknown

“No man can say he has been to sea until he has lost sight of land.” -Author Unknown

1 nautical knot equals 1.150 miles, or 1.852 kilometers per hour. It does not refer to the knots a sailor ties in a rope.

“At sea, I learned how little a person needs, not how much.” -Robin Lee Graham

“A sailor’s joys are as simple as a child’s.” -Bernard Moitessier

“A small Leak will sink a great Ship.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia” (1732), number 407

“No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“He that will not sail till all dangers are over must never put to sea.” -Thomas Fuller

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I Saw a Ship A-Sailing

I saw a ship a-sailing,
     A-sailing on the sea,
And, oh! it was all laden,
     With pretty things for thee.

There were comfits in the cabin,
     And apples in the hold;
The sails were made of silk,
     And the masts were made of gold.

The four-and-twenty sailors,
     That stood between the decks,
Were four-and-twenty white mice
     With chains around their necks

The captain was a duck,
     With a packet on his back;
And when the ship began to move,
     The captain said, “Quack! quack!”

-Author Unknown

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“Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world.” -H. Melville (Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)): “Moby Dick” (1851), opening line

“The winds and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.” -Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794): “The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire” (1776 - 1789), Volume 1 (1776), Chapter 68

“I wanted freedom, open air, and adventure. I found it on the sea.” -Alaine Gerbault

In the days of yore, sailing ships came from afar with interesting cargoes and stories of strange and wonderful lands, much like the strange and wonderful things that follow this topic in the days of now . . . on ‘MFOL!’

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Mealtimes and Eating

4/15/2018

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“Tis substantial happiness to eat.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “As You Like It” (1599)

“The first of all considerations is that our meals shall be fun as well as fuel.” -André Simon

“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.” -Calvin Trillin

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Arthur.
Arthur, who?
Arthur any leftovers?

Jo-jo: What is the worst thing about eating hippopotamus?
Mo-mo: The mountains of leftovers.

In Elizabethan England, the spoon was such a novelty and such a prized rarity, that people carried their own folding spoons to banquets.

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Table Talk

Said Madam Goose to Mister Pig:
     “My friend, I really feel
You should be told you eat too much -
     Your manners aren’t genteel.”

Said Mister Pig: “Your kind advice
     Is really of no use -
A Pig’s a Pig, you know, my dear,
     And not a Perfect Goose.”

-Elizabeth Moody

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Getting fussy eaters to eat is easy. Wrap spaghetti around meatballs and say they’re hot yo-yo’s.

Eat slowly: only men in rags
     And gluttons old in sin
Mistake themselves for carpet bags
     And tumble victuals in.
-Walter Raleigh (Walter Alexander Raleigh (1861 -1922)): “Laughter from a Cloud” (1923)

Gabe: How do you eat an elephant?
Gabriel: One bite at a time.

In 1808, dinner was a late meal and supper was a snack before going to bed.

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Table Manners

The Goops they lick their fingers,
     And the Goops they lick their knives;
They spill their broth on the table-cloth;
     Oh, they live untidy lives.

The Goops they talk while eating,
     And loud and fast they chew,
So that is why I am glad that I
     Am not a Goop. Are you?

by Gelett Burgess (Frank Gelett ‘Gelett’ Burgess (1866 - 1951))

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Riddle: What are two things you should not try to have for breakfast?
Solution: Lunch and dinner.

When should we begin eating? Wait until everyone has been seated, grace has been said, and everyone has been served before beginning to eat. At formal dinners, people often start eating only after the host, guest of honor, or some other person with the highest social status in the group has begun eating.

“They say fingers were made before forks, and hands before knives.” -Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745))

Don’t Pity Yourself

On eating an apple
     And finding inside
A hole deeply burrowed
     But unoccupied,
Don’t pity yourself
     As you frantically squirm,
But think of the worry
     You’ve given the worm.

-William W. Pratt

A woman said: I have changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, “Meatloaf” or “Pot Roast” or “Steak and Vegetables” or “Chicken and Dumplings” or “Beef Pot Pie.” However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes. If you look in my freezer now, you’ll see a whole new set of labels. You’ll find dinners with neat little tags that say: “Whatever,” “Anything,” “I Don’t Know,” “I Don’t Care,” “Something Good,” or “Food.” My frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it is there waiting.

Overheard: I’m so full that I couldn’t possibly eat another bite . . . oh, look, dessert!

Food makes a meal . . . polka-dotted plates make a fun memory.

The town of Gainesville, Georgia, United States of America - known as the chicken capital of the world - has a local ordinance that makes eating chicken with a fork illegal.

“A man should think less of what he eats and more with whom he eats because no food is so satisfying as good company.” -Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)

I Can Help Do Dishes

Swishety-swish the dishes go
     In the water to and fro
Mother washes while I try
     To get the dishes very dry!

-Author Unknown

“One of the most wonderful things about life is that we must regularly stop what we are doing and devote our attention to eating.” -Author Unknown

Oliver: What is a napkin?
Olivia: A sleeping relative.

Violet: What should I serve with my meatloaf?
Ruby: The antidote?

Overheard: I eat the broken cookies first, because I feel sad about them.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for this food.
Bless the hands that prepared it.
Bless it to our use and us to your service,
And make us ever mindful of the needs of others.
Through Christ our Lord we pray.
Amen.
-Author Unknown

“One meal a day is enough for a lion, and it ought to suffice for a man.” -George Fordyce (1736 - 1802): as attributed in Maturin M. Ballou: “Treasury of Thought” (1884), page 125

“It’s okay to play with your food.” -Emeril Lagasse

“Nicko! Don’t play with the food! When I was your age, we didn’t have food!” - Lainie Kazan, in the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” (19 April 2002)

Names for Various Mealtimes
- Breakfast
- Brunch
- Lunch
- Dinner
- Supper
- Fourth Meal
- Snack
- Tea Time
- Can you name any others?
- What times of day are these mealtimes held?
- What is your favorite mealtime?

Why is it that whenever someone attempts to catch something that’s falling off the table, he or she always manages to knock something else over? Sounds amusing, but could it be that perhaps our tables are populated with contrivances that have multiplied themselves beyond necessity?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peas.
Peas, who?
Peas pass the butter!

Jack: What can you serve but not eat?
Jacques: A tennis ball.

Table Graces

God is great and God is good;
     Let us thank Him for our food.
By his hand we all are fed;
     Thank You, God, for daily bread.
Amen.

-Author Unknown

Alfie: What did one dinner plate say to the other dinner plate?
Flora: “It looks like lunch is on me again!”

“At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965))

Gourmet Billy

There was a gourmet named Billy
Who dined from Beijing to Philly.
     His only complaint
     About the places he ate
Was that the chili in Chile was chilly.

-Author Unknown

“Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.” -Fran Lebowitz

France’s Louis XIV (1638 - 1715), was recorded as eating “four soups, a pheasant, a partridge, a plate of salad, sliced mutton with garlic, two lumps of ham, a plate of pastries, fruits, and preserves” at one sitting.

If we were not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?

Mary

Mary had a little lamb,
     A lobster and some prunes,
A glass of juice, a piece of pie
     A plate of macaroons.
She gobbled up a sponge cake,
     And what else we don’t know.
But when they carried Mary out
     Her face was white as snow.

-Author Unknown

Good table manners starts before we even get to the table, when we wash our hands, make sure we are dressed and groomed properly, and put aside our things that ought not be brought to the table, which might include cell phones, books, toys, and pets.

Soup Fork

There was a young lady from Cork
Who went at her soup with a fork.
     When her parents looked pained,
     She proudly explained,
“That’s the way they eat soup in New York.”

-Ogden Nash (Frederick Ogden ‘Ogden’ Nash (1902 - 1971))

Mrs. Mannerly: What would be the proper thing to say if, in carving the duck, it should skid off the platter and into your neighbor’s lap?
Mrs. Learner: Be very courteous and say, “May I trouble you for that duck?”

Overheard: Why does cooking take six hours, and eating three seconds, and washing dishes seven days and seven nights?

Sing a Song of Washing Up

Sing a song of washing up
     Water hot as hot
Cups and saucers, plates and spoons
     Dishes - such a lot
Work the dishcloth round and round
     Wash them clean as clean
Polish with a dry white cloth
     How busy we have been!

-Author Unknown

A Few Basic Table Manners
- Say grace before meals.
- Keep elbows off table.
- Do not talk with a mouth full of food.
- Ask others to pass food rather than reaching far or awkwardly for it.
- Sit up straight.
- What can you add to this list?

‘Stone Soup’ is an old folk story in which hungry strangers persuade local people of a town to give them food. It is usually told as a lesson in cooperation, especially amid scarcity. The story often goes like this: Some travelers come to a village, carrying nothing more than an empty cooking pot. Upon their arrival, the villagers are unwilling to share any of their food stores with the hungry travelers. Then the travelers go to a stream and fill the pot with water, drop a large stone in it, and place it over a fire. One of the villagers becomes curious and asks what they are doing. The travelers answer that they are making ‘stone soup,’ which tastes wonderful, although it still needs a little bit of garnish to improve the flavor, which they are missing. The villager does not mind parting with a few carrots to help them out, so that is added to the soup. Another villager walks by, inquiring about the pot, and the travelers again mention their stone soup, which has not reached its full potential yet. The villager hands them a little bit of seasoning to help them out. More and more villagers walk by, each adding another ingredient. Finally, a delicious and nourishing pot of soup is enjoyed by everyone, traveling strangers and villagers alike.

Like the goodness of the five loaves and two fishes,
     Which God divided among the five thousand men,
May the blessing of the King who so divided
     Be upon our share of this common meal.
-Author Unknown

This is ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ . . . the website for grownups who play with their food . . . and the children who frown upon this strange behavior . . .

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Witchcraft and Witches

4/11/2018

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Is this a coven of witches . . . or just a group of Welsh women who enjoy playing dress-up for teatime?

Penny: Have you heard about the good weather witch?
Bill: Yes, and she’s forecasting sunny spells!

Witches Brew

Dash of bat whiskers
Three purple tadpoles
Dollop of goobly goop
One teaspoon frozen rainbow
Two pinches of ghost dust
Sprinkle with troll teeth
Mix thoroughly and simmer
Over low heat for 4 hours
Serve ice cold.

by Author Unknown

Laura: What did the little witch hope to get for her birthday?
Laurel: A haunted dollhouse!

The word ‘witch’ is derived from the Old English words ‘wicca’ meaning ‘wise man’ and ‘wicce’ meaning ‘wise woman.’

Emma: What bounces and cackles?
Emmit: A witch on a trampoline!

Witchcraft and Witches Facts
- A male witch is called a witch, a warlock, a wizard, or a sorcerer.
- A female witch is called a witch or a sorceress.
- The exact meanings of terms such as witch and warlock and their assignment to gender are not always agreed upon, so for example, some people refer to both males and females as witches, and some people say warlock is not an actual term for describing a practitioner of witchcraft.
- A group of witches is called a coven, a flight, or imaginatively, a cackle.

Ace: Why do witches carry black cats on their brooms?
Tex: Because elephants weigh too much.

Apparently, even witches get lonely for the company of their own kind. Thus, they gather into ‘covens,’ of between two and thirteen witches. The word ‘coven’ was mostly unused in the English language until 1921, when Margaret Murray advanced the idea that witches across Europe met in groups of 13, which they call covens. When covens gather, they engage in communication with the spirit world, rituals, chants, gossip, and whatever else your imagination is suggesting to you right now.

Cinnamon: What do you call two witches on one broom?
Simon: Broommates.

“Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cackle maniacally, and people back away from you slowly.” -Author Unknown

Bonnie: Why does everyone at witches’ conventions wear a nametag?
Lonnie: So they can tell which witch is which witch.

A warlock went to the doctor one day complaining of headaches. “It’s because I live in the same room as two of my brothers,” he said. “One of them has six goats and the other has four pigs and they all live in the room with us. The smell is terrible.” ”Well, couldn’t you just open the windows?” asked the doctor. ”Certainly not,” he replied, “my bats would fly out.”

Ruben: What do witches say when they cast the wrong spell?
Benjamin: “Hexcuse me!”

The riches of witches are flying brooms, black cats, boiling cauldrons, loud clear cackles, the camaraderie of covens - and spells that cause itches!

Sal: What kind of pets do witches have?
Les: Scaredy cats!

The cat, frog, pig, raven, goat, wolf, bat, and mouse were believed to be a witch’s ‘Familiar,’ or a spirit in animal form that was used by a witch to perform evil deeds and cast malevolent spells.

A witch tells you she is going to turn you into her animal familiar and you will have to be that animal for the rest of your life, but she will let you choose which animal from the above list that you want to be. So, which animal will you be?

Wanda: How does a witch make scrambled eggs?
Wendy: She cracks eggs into a pan and gets two other witches to make the stove shake with fright. Then she cackles just like a chicken!

We would not want to attract the ire of any witches, but here is a little secret about the ways of harmless good witches: The ingredients they use in their potions and other concoctions are extraordinarily ordinary, but they give the ingredients fantastic names to keep their recipes secret. So for example, bat wings might really be leaves of cloves, and eye of newt might actually be pearl onions. Some folks just find having secrets makes their lives more interesting . . . that plus ‘secret recipes’ fetch a higher price in the marketplace than regular ones. On the other hand, malevolent bad witches might actually use real scales of snakes and warts of toads and hairs of hares in their recipes.

Courtney: What is evil and goes around and around?
Corey: A witch on a merry-go-round.

Wiccaphobia is a fear of witches and witchcraft. Wow, there is a word for nearly everything, isn’t there?

Donny: How does the witch know what time it is?
Donald: She looks at her witch-watch.

Penelope: Who won the spelling contest?
Spencer: The witch with the best incantations!

Joan of Arc, also known as Jeanne d’Arc and Jehanne Darc, was born in 1412. She was a French military leader and heroine. On 30 May 1431, Joan of Arc, accused of heresy and witchcraft, was burned at the stake in Rouen (pronounced roo-AHN’), France.

Josie: What has six legs and flies?
Joey: A witch and a cat on a broom!

“‘A witch ought never be frightened in the darkest forest,’ Granny Weatherwax had once told her, because she should be sure in her soul that the most terrifying thing in the forest was her.” -Terry Pratchett: “Wintersmith” (2006)

Wilfred: How can you imagine yourself flying on a broom?
Wilma: Just use witchful thinking!

What were the Salem Witch Trials? About 150 so-called witches were arrested in 1692 in Salem, Massachusetts, British Colonial America. Thirty-one of the people were put on trial, and all of them, including six males, were sentenced to death. Nineteen were hanged, two died in jail, and one man was slowly pressed to death under heavy stones. None were burned at the stake. Bridget Bishop was the first person charged with being a witch to be hung, on 10 June 1692. The last person hanged for witchcraft in the American colonies was on 22 September 1692. Could it have been that the 150 people accused were not evil witches, but that their accusers were?

Angie: Why do witches wear pointy hats?
Angelica: To cover their pointy heads.

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All:
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

Second Witch:
Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder’s fork and blind-worm’s sting,
Lizard’s leg and owlet’s wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

All:
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

-William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Macbeth” (1606), Act IV, scene 1 [A cavern. In the middle, a boiling cauldron], lines 1557 through 1568

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Sandy: What does a witch ask for when she checks into a hotel?
Sandra: Broom service.

Wilfred: What would you expect to find on a beach at Halloween?
Mildred: A sand-witch.

Helen Duncan, a medium, or a person who purports to communicate with the spirit world, was arrested in 1944 in Portsmouth, England. She had been arrested originally for the catch-all charge of vagrancy, but when she came up for trial at the Old Bailey, the police promptly added the charge of witchcraft, and she was tried at the Bailey under the Witchcraft Act of 1735. Her case is the last known instance of a person in England being tried as a witch under the law.

Shelia: Where does a witch park her broom after she is done flying?
Ophelia: In a broom closet.

Hilda: Why don’t witches ride their brooms when they are upset?
Mathilda: They are afraid they might fly off the handle.

Would you be willing to entertain the possibility that witches, warlocks, wizards, sorcerers, and sorceresses are not real, but are creations wholly of human imagination? This would mean that some people might like to pretend that they are these things, and some people might accuse other people of being these things, but though they might be either good people or bad people, they are not really witches.

Felicia: What do little witches eat?
Felicity: Alpha-bat soup!

Irwin: How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
Irving: Just one, but she changes it into a toad!

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Witches’ Menu

Live lizard, dead lizard
     Marinated, fried.
Poached lizard, pickled lizard
     Salty lizard hide.

Hot lizard, cold lizard
     Lizard over ice.
Baked lizard, boiled lizard
    Lizard served with spice.

Sweet lizard, sour lizard
     Smoked lizard heart.
Leg of lizard, loin of lizard
     Lizard a la carte.

-Sonja Nikolay

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Cecil: How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
Celeste: With scare spray.

What should you do if a geometric witch puts a hexagon you?

Michael: What do witches put on their bagels?
Rachel: Scream cheese!

Overheard: The local witch once threatened to turn me into a toad, but she changed her mind after thinking it over. She said it would be a waste of a perfectly good spell because no one would notice any change in my appearance!

Lynne: Which cartoon do witches like to watch on television?
Linda: “The Scare Bears.”

“Mortified: A witch’s reaction to being mortalized, or being made into a mere mortal.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Mandy: Why do witches fly on brooms?
Manetta: Vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

Tongue twister: If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

Ollie: What do witches like to do on the computer?
Oliver: Use the ‘spell’ checker.

“Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.” -J.R.R. Tolkien (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien (1892 - 1973)): “The Fellowship of the Ring” (1954), book I, chapter 3

Marcy: What has four wheels and flies?
Marcella: A witch on a vacuum cleaner!

Judy: What did one witch say to other when she asked for a lift?
Trudy: “There’s always plenty of broom for one more.”

We cover a wide variety of subjects - because one size does not fit all - more articles follow below - on ‘MFOL!’

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Abbreviations and Acronyms

4/7/2018

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TEAM: Together Everyone Achieves More. As someone once said, there is no ‘I’ in TEAM . . . and then someone else said that if you look again closely, you will find ‘ME’ in there . . . which is basically the same thing!

Acronyms are words such as NATO or radar formed from the initial letters of words. For example, take the first letter of each word in North Atlantic Treaty Organization and the acronym NATO is created. (NATO could also be called an initialism, more on that below.) Since acronyms are called words, their meanings are called definitions; thus, the acronym NATO has the definition North Atlantic Treaty Organization. Not all acronyms form pronounceable words. RSVP is an acronym that is not pronounceable, so each letter is spoken when it is said aloud. Some acronyms are formed from the first few letters of a word, instead of just the first letter, as in the acronym MILCON, defined as Military Construction. In this instance, the first three letters of each word are used to form the acronym. Initialisms are acronyms formed by the initial letters of each word. For example, IBM is an initialism for International Business Machines. Although all initialisms are acronyms, not all acronyms are initialisms.

ACT: Action Conquers Terror.

‘Alphabet Agencies’ is a way of referring to the roughly 100 government departments and offices created under the New Deal of American President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, for the purpose of remedying the Great Depression of the 1930’s. These departments include the FAA (Federal Aviation Administration), SEC (Securities and Exchange Commission), SSA (Social Security Administration), and the now defunct WPA (Works Project Administration). Even to this day, the United States Government remains a regular alphabet soup of agencies.

A.M. or a.m. stands for the Latin ‘ante meridiem,’ which means ‘before noon’ and refers to the period from midnight until noon. P.M. or p.m. stands for the Latin ‘post meridiem,’ which means ‘after noon’ and refers to the period from noon until midnight.

AM stands for Amplitude Modulation, and FM stands for Frequency Modulation, two of the methods of transmitting invisible radio frequency signals through the airways.

AMELIA: Aircraft Maintenance Electronic Link Integrated Analysis, a system invented by 17-year-old Jeremiah Pate. So, what were you doing when you were 17 years old? That is just what we thought.

BATS: Bass, Alto, Tenor, Soprano are the names of the four voices in a musical quartet, barbershop or otherwise.

B.C.E.: Before the Common Era; also, Before the Christian Era.
C.E.: Common Era; also, Christian Era.

BIBLE: Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.

CUTE: Creating Unnecessary Trouble Everywhere.

“DARYL” stands for Data Analysis Youth Life-Form, which is a movie with an acronymic title, about a robot boy.

DNA stands for Deoxyribonucleic Acid.

ENIAC: The Electronic Numerical Integrator And Computer was the first electronic computer, unveiled on 14 February 1946.

FAMILY: Father and Mother I Love You.

HOMES: Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, Superior, which are the five Great Lakes of North America.

How to really annoy people: Use acronyms and abbreviations when speaking. Example: ICYMI, we post new IFS on ‘MFOL!’ OARB - CBL so you DMO! Translation: In case you missed it, we post new incredibly fun stuff on ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ on a regular basis - check back later so you don’t miss out!

HTTP or http: Hypertext Transfer Protocol.

I.Q.: Intelligence Quotient. A system of testing people to try to determine their relative intelligence. It is now regarded as unfair and obsolete under the ideology of political correctness, because it is thought to be ‘insensitive’ to point out that some people are just plain stupid or are not using their God-given intelligence.

IRS: The United States Internal Revenue Service, also known as the people who have what it takes to take what you have.

Is A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. an acronym for something? If not, then let’s make something up!

JPEG: Joint Photographic Experts Group.

Kimberly: What does ‘IDK’ mean?
Beverly: I don’t know.
Kimberly: Wow, I guess nobody knows what it means, then!

KISS: Keep It Short and Simple.

KGB stands for Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti. From Russia, with love! From Russia, yes . . . with love, not so much.

KOOKS is an acronym standing for the Keepers Of Odd Knowledge Society, which was purportedly started by radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh. Despite many attempts, we have not been able to locate an official website or other information about this group, which would seem to suggest that it may be a super-secret society or some kind of conspiracy!

LASER: Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation.

LOL: Laugh Out Loud.

M*A*S*H stands for ‘Mobile Army Surgical Hospital,’ and is also the name of an American television show about the Korean War.

MUSIC: Making Unique Sounds Instead of Chaos.

NASCAR: National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing.

NESTY: Not Even Started Yet.

NIMBY: Not In My Back Yard. Whenever anyone proposes the building of a project such as a prison, homeless shelter, or other facility for potentially problematic people in a neighborhood, NIMBY-ism is an impedance to progress - or is it people wisely protecting the best interests of their community, particularly the children? It probably depends which side of the issue you stand on - and who is buttering your bread. We might say to politicians, government bureaucrats, corporations, and naïve social do-gooders, “BIYBY: Better In Your Back Yard.” Then there are the ‘BANANA’ people, who say, “Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anybody!” Which bandwagon are you on?

NORAD, or the North American Aerospace Defense Command, is a joint American-Canadian operation tasked with providing aerospace warning, air sovereignty, and defense for North America. Essentially, it is a system of radars, whistles, colored lights, and horns that gives the flyboys and flygirls something to do when they are grounded and not up in the air about something.

NSA: National Security Agency. A department of the United States Government that is so top-secret that some people deny its existence, even going so far as to refer to it as ‘No Such Agency.’

PAY: Prioritize Activities by Yield.

PB&J or PBNJ: Peanut Butter and Jelly, a type of sandwich.

PETA: People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals; also People for the Eating of Tasty Animals.

POTUS: President Of The United States.

P.S.: Post-Script.
P.P.S.: Post-Post-Script.
P.P.P.S.: Post-Post-Post-Script.

QANTAS: Queensland And Northern Territories Air Service, the Australian national airline.

RADAR: Radio Detection And Ranging. Radar is also the nickname of the military unit clerk on the M*A*S*H television show - perhaps because just like electronic RADAR, he was good at finding things?

R.I.P.: Rest In Peace.

RSVP stands for the French ‘Répondez s’il vous plaît’ which translates as ‘Reply if you please.’ RSVP is used on invitations to formal events and special get-togethers, to allow the person in charge to know how many people will be in attendance so that seating arrangements, amount of food, size of dance floor, and other decisions can be made. Considerate and polite people - always, always, always - give their acceptance of the invitation or give a notice that they are declining to attend, promptly either by spoken word or in writing; it is the proper thing to do, and we must be proper, mustn’t we? (The only acceptable answer to that question is in the affirmative.)

SCUBA stands for Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus.

SERVICE is an acronym for Social, Enthusiastic, Responsible, Vibrant, Intelligent, Courteous, Engaged.

SINA: Safety Is No Accident, an acronym with a double-meaning.

SONTTAP: Say Only Nice Things To All People.

SOP: Standard Operating Procedure.

Symbols are a type of abbreviation. The ‘#’ or ‘pound’ key on your keyboard is called an octotroph or hashtag, and the ‘&’ or ‘and’ key is called an ampersand.

TANSTAAFL: “There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch.” -Milton Friedman

TEON: Two Eyes One Nose, being one of the more common facial configurations.

THEIRS. Have you ever noticed that the word ‘The’ and the three letters IRS combine to form THEIRS? That’s because the United States ‘Internal Revenue Service’ people think your money is THEIRS.

TIP. The word ‘tip’ purportedly dates back to old London coffeehouses. Conspicuously placed brass boxes etched with the inscription, ‘To Insure Promptness,’ encouraged customers to pay for efficient service. What is the difference between a tip and a bribe?

TLAR: That Looks About Right.

UFO: Unfinished Object.

“U.S. now stands for Unlimited Spending.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in the “Tampa Tribune” newspaper of Tampa, Florida, United States of America

USA PATRIOT ACT stands for ‘Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism.’ Say it again, Uncle Sam!

V.I.P.: Very Important Person.

Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word? What is the abbreviation for abbreviation? Common abbreviations for the words abbreviate, abbreviated, and abbreviation include abr., abbr., abbrv., and abbrev. So, why do we not have a keyboard symbol for the word abbreviation?

WIP: Work In Progress.

‘www’ stands for ‘world wide web’ - and also for ‘wonderfully wacky website,’ like the one you are on right now.

YOGOWYPI: You Only Get Out What You Put In. An amusing and truthful acronymic rule for life.

ZIP Code stands for Zone Improvement Plan Code, a system devised by the United States Postal Service (USPS) for sorting and delivering mail.

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . there are many serious matters in our world and in our time that need serious consideration - but we do not have time for any of that, because we are too busy trying to be ridiculous!

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Physical Fitness and Exercising

4/4/2018

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“You’re only one workout away from a good mood.” -Author Unknown

Physical Fitness and Exercising Facts
- 0.45 kilograms (1 pound) of muscle burns about 9 calories a day while 0.45 kilograms (1 pound) of fat burns only about 2 calories per day.
- It takes two times as long to lose new muscle when a person stops working out as it did to gain the muscle from working out.

“I don’t sweat, I sparkle!” -Author Unknown

“Your mental energy is limited by your physical energy. How do you develop more energy of all kinds? You start by putting your body in top physical condition. Unless you do that, all your other activities won’t help much - you’ll be stuck with the mental and emotional energy that you have now.” -Tom Hopkins

Riddle: What has one hundred legs and lives on yogurt and salads?
Solution: An aerobics class.

“Those who think they have no time for exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.” -Edward Stanley

“I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I had any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!” -Author Unknown

People burn more calories while sleeping than they do when watching television, so turn off the television and go to bed, because apparently, watching late-night television makes you fat! No television watching after 8:00 p.m. - go and read a good book instead.

Miserly Tip: You do not need to spend hundreds of dollars on a gym or health club membership, or spend thousands of dollars on exercise equipment or a personal trainer. You can start your exercise program with just a sensible pair of shoes for walking, running, hiking, skipping, or stair climbing.

Question: What did the personal trainer pick up at the bakery?
Answer: Head rolls.

Stair climbing is said to be one of the better cardiovascular-strengthening, muscle-building, calorie-burning exercises.

According to some people, thinking about your muscles can make you stronger. Of course, this could be just wishful thinking.

No treadmill? Roads do not exist to be gawked at. No weights? Use furniture. No machines? Gravity works wonders for crunches and pushups. No stair machine? Climb some real stairs, a tree, a hill - who cares, just go upward against gravity. No money for healthy food? Then you must have no money for candy, chips, and soft drinks, either, right? Excuses? I can’t hear you! Harsh? You will not see success by wishing. So get out and do it!

“A feeble body weakens the mind.” -Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712 - 1778): “Emile; or, Treatise on Education” (1762)

Does this describe your fitness program?
- Bending the rules.
- Dragging your feet.
- Fidgeting nervously.
- Jumping to conclusions.
- Lifting your fork.
- Pushing your luck.
- Running late for appointments.
- Shuffling paper.
- Sidestepping responsibility.
- Wading through information.

“Physical fitness is the first requisite of happiness.” -Joseph Pilates (1880 - 1967)

Possible Benefits of Exercising
- Physical exercise makes you younger.
- Physical exercise makes your brain more powerful.
- Physical exercise makes you more attractive.
- Can you think of other benefits that might belong in this list?

“Why do strong arms fatigue themselves with frivolous dumbbells? To dig a vineyard is worthier exercise.” -Martial (Marcus Valius Martialis)

“I may not jog or workout - but I’m a very brisk eater.” -Jim Moore, Junior

“You eat every day, you sleep every day, and your body was made to exercise every day.” -Jack LaLanne (François Henri ‘Jack’ LaLanne (1914 - 2011))

At ‘MFOL!’ we would like to start a new holiday called ‘National Jump for Joy Day.’ What month and day of the year do you think it should be held on? (Please note that while we have not personally experienced the exercise called a ‘Jump for Joy’ ourselves, our research indicates that someone makes a noise such as, “Whoo-hoo!” and then attempts to momentarily defy the Earth’s gravitational pull by propelling him or herself in the direction of outer space.)

No one will be able to give you better advice, and treatment if necessary, than your personal physician and any medical specialists, when it comes to your body interacting with the environment through exercise. This is especially true of health conditions that might require special considerations when exercising, as might be the case with conditions such as asthma, diabetes, or seizures. Listen to your doctor rather than what you might hear on television or read on the internet, or are told by your friends or anyone else.

Overheard: If you have time to eat a doughnut, or watch television, or surf the internet, you definitely have time for exercise.

Common exercise injuries include twisted ankles, pulled shoulders, bruises, soreness, and sunburn. You can minimize these by starting an exercise routine slowly, and gradually increasing the time and effort spent exercising so that your muscles, tendons, joints, and even your skin has time to toughen up. It is easy to deceive oneself into thinking it is possible to handle anything, but that simply is not likely. If you are trying to go from a mostly sedentary lifestyle to a fully active lifestyle, you may need a couple of years to achieve it. You can succeed, but allow your body time to adjust to changes.

Affirmation: Today I will love myself enough to exercise.

“Just thinking about exercising . . . burns zero calories.” -Author Unknown

“Mr. LaLanne said he performed his exercises until he experienced “muscle fatigue,” lifting weights until it was impossible for him to continue. It produced results and, as he put it, “the ego in me” made the effort worthwhile.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in ‘Jack LaLanne, Founder of Modern Fitness Movement,’ published in the “New York Times” newspaper

“Exercise your mind as well as your body.” -Andrew Weil

“If it weren’t for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn’t get any exercise at all.” -Joey Adams

Walking Groups are organized groups of people who go walking together, usually for exercise, and sometimes for sightseeing or touring. The benefits of walking with others is the mutual motivation, support, safety, socializing, and conversation. Walking groups can be in shopping centers, parks, neighborhoods, and other areas. If enough people cannot be found to make up a group, flyers can be printed and placed on bulletin boards, in building lobbies, in business windows, in mailboxes, in doctors’ offices, and handed out in person. Notices and advertisements can be placed on social media websites and other locations on the internet. One way to get the word out that you are putting together a group is www.MeetUp.com. Advise people to wear comfortable shoes and loose clothing appropriate for weather conditions.

“Muscles come and go; flab lasts.” -Bill Vaughan (William Edward ‘Bill’ Vaughan (1915 - 1977))

“It’s all in the attitude - housework is exercise. Slim your way to a clean home!” -Linda Solegato

Exercises Requiring Little or No Equipment
- Walking
- Stair Climbing
- Jumping Jacks (Side-Straddle Hops)
- Pushup
- Situps
- Toe Touchers
- Pullups and Chin-ups
- Can you think of others?

“It is remarkable how one’s wits are sharpened by physical exercise.” -Pliny the Younger (Gaius Plinius Caecilius Secundus (C.E. 61 - C.E. 112))

“I exercised once but found that I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous stuff, this exercise!” -Unidentified Hypochondriac

Physical Fitness and Exercising Quiz
- What are three benefits of exercise?
- What is the meaning of the word ‘sedentary’?
- What is the meaning of the word ‘active’?
- What are three exercises you can do right now right where you are?
- What three things will happen to someone who does not exercise and who continues to live a sedentary lifestyle?
- Name three people who do not exercise, and three people who do exercise.

“Exercise is the chief source of improvement in our faculties.” -Hugh Blair (1718 - 1800)

“Stay Active!” -Author Unknown

Your body burns a mere 1.3 calories a minute when you are reading physical fitness and exercising jokes, but a whopping 1.5 calories a minute when you are typing the jokes on your computer to email them to your friends. Now go out into the world and make smiling your favorite exercise! Whoo-hoo!

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Personal Potential

4/1/2018

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“There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“You are as amazing as you let yourself be. Let me repeat that. You are as amazing as you let yourself be.” -Elizabeth Alraune

“We always may be what we might have been.” -Adelaide A. Procter (Adelaide Anne Procter (1825 - 1864)): “Legends and Lyrics” (1858), ‘A Legend of Provence’

“There are admirable potentialities in every human being.” -André Gide (André Paul Guillaume Gide (1869 - 1951)

“You are capable of more than you know. Choose a goal that seems right for you and strive to be the best, however hard the path. Aim high. Behave honorably. Prepare to be alone at times, and to endure failure. Persist! The world needs all you can give.” -E. O. Wilson

“Sometimes it’s the people that no one can imagine anything of that do the things that no one can imagine.” -Author Unknown

“You are meant to be whatever you dream of becoming.” -Edmund O’Neill

“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” -Author Unknown

“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.” -Hanoch McCarty

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” -Henry S. Haskins (Henry Stanley Haskins (1876 - 1957)): “Meditations in Wall Street” (1940), originally published anonymously; quotation commonly misattributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson or Henry David Thoreau

“Anybody can do just about anything with himself that he really wants to and makes up his mind to do. We are capable of greater things than we realize.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“The real tragedy of life is not in being limited to one talent, but in the failure to use that one talent.” -Edgar W. Work

“You need never feel inferior. You need never feel that you were born without talents or without opportunities to give them expression. Cultivate whatever talents you have, and they will grow and refine and become an expression of your true self - appreciated by others.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“You may be whatever you resolve to be. Determine to be something in the world, and you will be something. ‘I cannot,’ never accomplished anything; ‘I will try,’ has wrought wonders.” -J. Hawes (Joel Hawes (1789 - 1867))

“Our ordinary mind always tries to persuade us that we are nothing but acorns and that our greatest happiness will be to become bigger, fatter, shinier acorns; but that is of interest only to pigs. Our faith gives us knowledge of something better: that we can become oak trees.” -E. F. Schumacher (Ernst Friedrich ‘Fritz’ Schumacher (1911 - 1977))

“Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.” -Muhammad Ali (Casius Clay)

“Many individuals have, like uncut diamonds, shining qualities beneath a rough exterior.” -Juvenal (about C.E. 55 - C.E. 130): as attributed in Maturin M. Ballou: “Edge-Tools of Speech” (1886), page 405

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans (1819 - 1880))

“We have to go for what we think we’re fully capable of, not limit ourselves by what we’ve been in the past.” -Vivek Paul

“It is a most mortifying reflection for a man to consider what he has done, compared to what he might have done.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in James Boswell: “The Life of Samuel Johnson” (1791)

“You can have anything you want - if you want it badly enough. You can be anything you want to be, have anything you desire, accomplish anything you set out to accomplish - if you will hold to that desire with singleness of purpose.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“We know what we are, but know not what we may be.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Hamlet” (1600 - 1601), Act 4, scene 5, line 43

“You are more than what you may think of yourself as being, for you are what you are now, plus your potential.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“A person is limited only by the thoughts that he chooses.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist.” -Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (1881 - 1955)

“The greatest waste in the world is the difference between what we are and what we could be.” -John Grimes

“Do not set your limits by the limits of others.” -Robert Heckendorn

“Regardless of who you are or what you have been, you can be what you want to be.” -W. Clement Stone (William Clement Stone (1902 - 2002))

“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as you mind lets you. What you believe, you can achieve.” -Mary Kay Ash (1918 - 2001)

“If human beings are perceived as potentials rather than problems, as possessing strengths instead of weaknesses, as unlimited rather that dull and unresponsive, then they thrive and grow to their capabilities.” -Bob Conklin

“You may have heard the phrase ‘a world without limits’ or ‘a life without limits,’ but remember those things start with ‘a you without limits.’ Take down the barriers, most of which exist only in the mind.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“There are powers inside of you, which, if you could discover and use, would make of you everything you ever dreamed or imagined you could become.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“It’s not what you are, but what you don’t become, that hurts.” -Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972)

The potential within a tiny seed is to become a towering green leafy plant. The potential within you also is to become something greater than what you are.

“Focus on your potential instead of your limitations.” -Alan Loy McGinnis (1933 - 2005))

“You are a product of your environment. So choose the environment that will best develop you toward your objective. Analyze your life in terms of its environment. Are the things around you helping you toward success - or are they holding you back?” -W. Clement Stone (William Clement Stone (1902 - 2002))

“Do just once what others say you can’t do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again.” -James R. Cook

“Few men during their lifetime come anywhere near exhausting the resources dwelling within them. There are deep wells of strength that are never used.” -Richard E. Byrd (Richard Evelyn Byrd, Junior (1888 - 1957))

“The average human being has the ability to achieve almost anything.” -Tom Hopkins (born 1944)

“Whatever your discipline, become a student of excellence in all things. Take every opportunity to observe people who manifest the qualities of mastery. These models of excellence will inspire you and guide you toward the fulfilment of your highest potential.” -Tony Buzan

“A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?” -Jane Wagner (born 1935)

“Anybody can do just about anything with himself that he really wants to and makes up his mind to do. We are all capable of greater things than we realize.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Imagine no limitations on what you can be, have, or do.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!” -J. K. Rowling (pseudonym of Joanne ‘Jo’ Rowling (born 1965)): “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” (8 July 2000); line spoken by character Professor Dumbledore

“There are no limitations to the self except those you believe in.” -Jane Roberts

“Treat a man as he is, he will remain so. Treat a man the way he can be and ought to be, and he will become as he can be and should be.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Any individual can be, in time, what he earnestly desires to be, if he but set his face steadfastly in the direction of that one thing and bring all his powers to bear upon its attainment.” -J. Herman Randall

“There isn’t a ruler, a yardstick or a measuring tape in the entire world long enough to compute the strength and capabilities inside you.” -Paul J. Meyer (Paul James Meyer (1928 - 2009))

“Let each become all that he was created capable of being.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 -1881)

“The real opportunity for success lies within the person and not in the job.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“You should remember that though another may have more money, beauty, and brains than you, when it comes to the rarer spiritual values such as charity, self-sacrifice, honor, nobility of heart, you have an equal chance with everyone to be the most beloved and honored of all people.” - Archibald Rutledge

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” -Malcolm Forbes (Malcolm Stevenson Forbes (1919 -1990))

“If you are going to doubt something, doubt your limits.” -Don Ward

“The only limits in our life are those we impose on ourselves.” -Bob Proctor

“Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.” -Winston Churchill (Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill (1874 - 1965))

“To reach your greatest potential you’ll have to fight your greatest fears.” -Author Unknown

“The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“I never met a person, I don’t care what his condition, in whom I could not see possibilities. I don’t care how much a man may consider himself a failure, I believe in him, for he can change the thing that is wrong in his life anytime he is prepared and ready to do it. When he develops the desire, he can take away from his life the thing that is defeating it. The capacity for reformation and change lies within.” -Preston Bradley

“It is extraordinary how extraordinary the ordinary person is.” -George F. Will (born 1941)

“Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!” -Anne Frank (Annelies Marie ‘Anne’ Frank (1929 - 1945))

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . you already have all you need to go out into the world and begin to actualize, fulfill, and realize your true potential . . .

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Actions and Doing

3/28/2018

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“We are built to conquer environment, solve problems, achieve goals; and we find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975): “Psycho-Cybernetics” (1960)

“The undertaking of a new action brings new strength.” -Evenius (42 B.C.E. - C.E. 13)

“If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” -Thomas Edison (Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931))

“The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“There are generations yet unborn, whose very lives will be shifted and shaped by the moves you make and the actions you take.” -Andy Andrews

“If you limit your actions in life to things that nobody can possibly find fault with, you will not do much.” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898))

“Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned.” -Peter Marshall (1902 - 1949)

“Doing is better than saying.” -Thomas Draxe (unknown - 1618)

There are three ways to get things done:
1. Do it yourself.
2. Hire someone to do it.
3. Forbid your children to do it.
-Author Unknown

“Never mistake motion for action.” -Ernest Hemingway (Ernest Miller Hemingway (1899 - 1961))

“Whatever you want to do, do it now. There are only so many tomorrows.” -Michael Landon (pseudonym of Eugene Michael Orowitz (1936 - 1991))

“The smallest action is better than the largest plan.” -John Groves

“Reality is not the same to the doer as it is to the sayer.” -Haki R. Madhubuti (born Don Luther Lee (born 1942))

“If we are ever in doubt about what to do, it is a good rule to ask ourselves what we shall wish on the morrow that we had done.” -John Lubbock (1834 - 1913)

“Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t.” -Jerry Rice

“‘ACT’ is an acronym standing for ‘Action Changes Things.’” -Author Unknown

“Whatever you do, do it with all your might. Work at it, early and late, in season and out of season, not leaving a stone unturned, and never deferring for a single hour that which can be done just as well now.” -P. T. Barnum (Phineas Taylor Barnum (1810 - 1891))

“Actions speak louder than words.” -Author Unknown

“They can because they think they can.” -Vergil (Publius Vergilius Maro, also known as Virgil (70 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.))

“Some men have thousands of reasons why they cannot do what they want to, when all they need is one reason why they can.” -Willis Whitney

“Deeds not words.” -Author Unknown

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late.” -Marie Beynon Ray (1886 - 1969)

“The price of inaction is far greater than the cost of making a mistake.” -Meister Eckhart (Eckhart von Hochheim (1260 - 1327))

“If you want a thing done well, do it yourself.” -Author Unknown: French proverb

“Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“It is time for us all to stand and cheer for the doer, the achiever - the one who recognizes the challenge and does something about it.” -Vince Lombardi (1913 - 1970)

“I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts.” -John Locke (1632 - 1704): “An Essay Concerning Human Understanding” (1690)

“Never undertake anything for which you wouldn’t have the courage to ask the blessings of Heaven.” -G. C. Lichtenberg (Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799))

“It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little. Do what you can.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845)

“The best time to do a thing is when it can be done.” -William Pickens (1881 - 1954): “Fifty Years after Emancipation” (1912)

“Action is the foundational key to all success.” -Pablo Picasso (Pablo Diego Jose Francisco do Paula Juan Nepomuceno Cipriano de la Santissima Trinidad (1881 - 1971))

“Heaven never helps the man who will not act.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“I move forward in my life every day, even if it’s only a tiny step, because I know that great things are accomplished with tiny moves, but nothing is accomplished by standing still.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Do lovely things, not dream them, all day long.” -Charles Kingsley (1819 - 1875): “Andromeda and Other Poems” (1858), ‘A Farewell to C. E. G.’

“Many people carry a ‘can’t do it list’ around in their heads as they travel on their journey in life, and it becomes their guide for every decision in their lives and for every moment they are alive and awake. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if that list were transformed into a ‘possibilities list,’ or a ‘things to try list’?” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“What you do every day should contribute to giving your life meaning. If it doesn’t, why are you doing it?” -Don Hutcheson

“Good intentions are not enough. They’ve never put an onion in the soup yet.” -Sonya Levien (born Sara Opesken (1888 - 1960))

“In doing we learn.” -George Herbert (1593 - 1633)

Throw away your wishbone,
Straighten up your backbone,
Stick out your jawbone,
And go to it!
-Author Unknown

“If you don’t have time to do it right, you must have time to do it over.” -Author Unknown

“The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are, the more leisure we have.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

Out of the strain of the Doing,
Into the peace of the Done.
-Julia Louise Woodruff (Julia Louise Matilda Woodruff (1832 - 1909)): ‘Harvest Home’ poem published in “Sunday at Home” (1910) magazine

“What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“Every living creature that comes into the world has something allotted to him to perform, therefore he should not stand an idle spectator of what others are doing.” -Sarah Kirby Trimmer (1741 - 1810): “Fabulous Histories” (1821)

“The deeds you do today may be the only sermon some people will hear today.” - Francis of Assisi (1181 - 1226)

“The world is blessed most by men who do things and not by those who merely talk about them.” -James Oliver

“Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“Be content to act, and leave the talking to others.” -Baltasar Gracián (1601 - 1658)

“I’m not the type to sit on the porch and watch life go by.” -Sally Rand

“This world is but the vestibule of an immortal life. Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity.” -E. H. Chapin (Edwin Hubbell Chapin (1814 - 1880)): as attributed in Charles Northend: “Memory Gems” (1890), page 6

“Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“You don’t have to do everything, but you can always do something.” -Malia Blake

“It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do.” -Jean Molière (pseudonym of Jean-Baptiste Poquelin (1622 - 1673))

“Our grand business undoubtedly is, not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 -1881)

“Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is key to unlocking our potential.” -Liane Cadres

“Do something. If it doesn’t work, do something else. No idea is too crazy.” -Jim Hightower

“Unselfish and noble actions are the most radiant pages in the biography of souls.” -David Thomas

“During a very busy life I have often been asked, “How did you manage to do it all?” The answer is very simple. It is because I did everything promptly.” -Richard Tangye

“People who soar, are those who refuse to sit back and wish things would change.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“Facta non verba.” [Latin]
“Deeds, not words.” [English]
-Author Unknown

“Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.” -William Butler Yeats

“The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows; it is what the man or woman is able to do that the world cares about.” -Booker T. Washington (Booker Taliaferro Washington (1856 - 1915)): “Mind and Matter,” (5 June 1895), address to the Alabama State Teachers’ Association, Selma, Alabama, United States of America

“Life is too short to sit on the sidelines; it is much more fun to give it your enthusiastic best.” -Bob Apple

“Acting on a good idea is better than just having a good idea.” -Robert Half

“Every man feels instinctively that all the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action.” -James Russell Lowell (1819 - 1891): as quoted in the “North American Review” (July 1867)

“Don’t just stand there, make something happen.” -Lee Iacocca (Lido Anthony ‘Lee’ Iacocca (born 1924))

“Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906 - 1945)

Affirmation: If it is to be, it is up to me.

“It has long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.” -Elinor Smith (1911 - 2010)

“Doing little things well is a step toward doing big things better.” -Harry Banks (Harry F. Banks)

“The time when you need to do something is when no one else is willing to do it, when people are saying it can’t be done.” -Will Durant (William James ‘Will’ Durant (1885 - 1981))

“The shortest way to do many things is to do one thing at once.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“Let us turn our ‘To Do Lists’ into ‘All Done Lists.’” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Do, doing, done.” -Author Unknown

“The greatest things ever done on Earth have been done little by little.” -Thomas Guthrie

“Step by step and the thing is done.” -Charles Atlas

“It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“Action is the antidote to despair.” -Joan Baez (Joan Chandos Baez (born 1941))

“Do it. Do it right. Do it right now.” -Author Unknown

“Action makes more fortune than caution.” -Luc DeClapiers (1715 - 1747)

“Always say nothing doing to doing nothing.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“And, having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.” -Enoch A. Bennett (Enoch Arnold Bennett (1867 - 1931)): “How to Live on Twenty-Four Hours a Day” (1910), Chapter 12

“So little done, so much to do.” -Cecil Rhodes (1853 - 1902)

“In a world where there is so much to be done, I felt strongly impressed that there must be something for me to do.” -Dorothea Dix (Dorothea Lynde Dix (1802 - 1887)): as quoted in Lydia Maria Child: “Letters from New York,” Volume 2 (1845), ‘Letter 31’ (31 December 1844), page 284

“Do all that you can and all you thought you could not.” -Author Unknown

“Take tiny, wobbly, baby steps towards action. I made so much more progress in one year by doing a few small things consistently than I did in thirty years of overthinking and massive to-do lists.” -Ishita Gupta

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . we must take immediate action now to make the world funnier . . .

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