Make Fun Of Life!

How Not to Ride a Horse

3/6/2021

You can avoid situations like the one shown above if you always make sure to listen to the riding instructor. It will require some time and real effort on the part of both the rider and the horse to undo this mishap.

If you came here looking for fun, you are in the right place. Just travel down this page, skipping the topics that might not interest you, until you come to the ones that appeal to you. When you have a moment, be sure to explore some of the other pages on the website, such as the Society Pages and the Silly Pages, which can be viewed by clicking on the menu bar at the top of the sky above.

This is MFOL! . . . it’s so weird . . .

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Goals and Planning

3/5/2021

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Never give up on your dreams . . .

“Take your dreams up off the shelf! Put your goals in front of you, and follow them. Focus. Strive. This is what you should be doing; this is what you are here for! You are here to dream, and to live your dreams! This is how things were meant to be. It is time to get back to basics. The essence of your life is your dream! What have you always been dreaming about, ever since you were a youngster? Visualize it, define it, and then go for it! Become happy and share that happiness with the world.” -Author Unknown

“The most important thing about having goals is having one.” -Geoffrey Abert

“I have come up with a plan so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel.” -Rowan Atkinson (born 1955): “Black Adder the Third” (British television show)

“If you go to work on your goals, your goals will go to work on you. If you go to work on your plan, your plan will go to work on you. Whatever good things we build end up building us.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“If ‘Plan A’ fails, remember there are twenty-five more letters.” -Claire Cook

“One simple mental trick has changed my life. A wise retired railway worker named Danny Breslin told me about it. When you are faced with a task you do not want to perform, do not think of the task as a whole. Do not focus on the hardest part of it. Instead, ask yourself, ‘What is the least I can do towards accomplishing this task? What is the irreducible minimum?’ Do that and you have started on the task itself. So, for instance, if you are procrastinating about a letter you have to write, put aside the thought of the letter itself and what you will say in it. Instead, think of the least you can do towards it, which is getting a pen and paper ready. By doing this you will usually find that you can then actually start writing the letter itself.” -Celia Haddon (born 1945)

“To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time.” -Leonard Bernstein (1918 - 1990)

When any great design thou dost intend,
Think on the means, the manner, and the end.
-John Denham (1615 - 1669): “Of Prudence”

“The weakest living creature, by concentrating his powers on a single object, can accomplish something; whereas the strongest, by dispersing his over many, may fail to accomplish anything.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“Plan your work and work your plan.” -Author Unknown

“He who every morning plans the transaction of the day and follows out that plan, carries a thread that will guide him through the maze of the most busy life. But where no plan is laid, where the disposal of time is surrendered merely to the chance of incidence, chaos will soon reign.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“Don’t be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so.” -Belva Davis (born Belvagene Melton (1932)), website http://www.belvadavis.com/

“It takes a mad genius to reach some goals.” -Daniel Akst (born 1956)

“We rarely succeed at anything unless we have fun doing it.” -Author Unknown

Work diligently toward a goal;
On plans and dreams often dwell;
Don’t wait until you are thirsty,
Before you dig a well.
-Rosemary Perry

“People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“The person with a fixed goal, a clear picture of his desire, or an ideal always before him, causes it, through repetition, to be buried deeply in his subconscious mind and is thus enabled, thanks to its generative and sustaining power, to realize his goal in a minimum of time and with a minimum of physical effort. Just pursue the thought unceasingly. Step by step you will achieve realization, for all your faculties and powers become directed to that end.” -Claude M. Bristol (Claude Myron Bristol (1891 - 1951))

“The vital, successful people I have met all had one common characteristic. They had a plan.” -Marilyn Van Derbur (Marilyn Elaine Van Derbur (born 1937))

“The discipline of writing something down is the first step toward making it happen.” -Lee Iacocca (Lido Anthony ‘Lee’ Iacocca (1924 - 2019))

“You will have wonderful surges forward. Then there must be a time of consolidating before the next forward surge. Accept this as part of the process and never become downhearted.” -Eileen Caddy (1917 - 2006)

“Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work.” -H. L. Hunt (Haroldson Lafayette ‘H. L.’ Hunt, Junior (1889 - 1974))

“The basic goal-reaching principle is to understand that you go as far as you can see, and when you get there you will be able to see farther.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

Write Down Your Goals!

If you don’t write your goal down on paper,
Beware, it may try to be an escaper.
But when you do write your goal in your journal,
What you have done is planted a kernel.
And everyone, who knows anything knows,
That what a man reaps is what a man sows!
So write down your hopes and journal your goals
And press on through the highs and the lows.
Through the thick and through the thin,
If you never, never quit - eventually you win.
In every failure is a seed of success,
So keep trying, keep trying -
And you’ll be the best.
Write down your goals
And surprise the rest.

by Al Argo

“What you get by reaching your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012)): “Biscuits, Fleas, and Pump Handles” (1974), ‘Segment 4: Goals,’ Chapter 4: Reaching Your Goals, page 171

“Don’t let anyone steal your dream. It’s your dream, not theirs.” -Dan Zadra (Daniel W. Zadra, Senior (born 1946)), website http://zadracreative.com/

“Yes, you can be a dreamer and a doer, too, if you will remove one word from your vocabulary: impossible.” -Robert Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

Make a written plan . . . and re-read it often.

“You can do anything you want in your life and in your career if you have written goals and a plan to get there, and also the commitment to follow through.” -Carol Halsey

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Achieving Your Goals

1. Break your goals into smaller parts.
- Many people abandon their goals because the goals are too big and vague.
- Break goals down into smaller parts.
- Decide on concrete and measurable actions.
- Have solid ideas of what a successful completion of a goal looks like.
2. Commit time daily to goals.
- You do not have necessarily have to commit hours at a time to accomplish a goal, you just have to be focused.
- The greatest advances often occur as the sum total of a series of small efforts.
- Commit to spending at least 15 minutes a day on specific goals.
- Do something that moves you closer to accomplishing your goals.
3. Talk to yourself.
- Repetition is the root of success.
- Remind yourself of your goals every day.
- Turn your most important goal into a one-sentence afﬁrmation.
- Phrase it as though you have already accomplished your goal.
- Repeat regularly and it becomes your natural way of thinking.
4. Make a serious commitment to your goals.
- Make yourself accountable by telling a few trustworthy people of your plans.
- Hope they become interested in your progress and check in with you.
- This will inspire you to keep going and overcome obstacles.
- It is hard not to achieve goals when others are watching and encouraging us.
5. Write your goals down.
- If you write goals down, they are more likely to come to pass.
- Invest time and energy writing your goals down.
- Putting goals on paper makes you more committed to the outcome.
- Reread your goals list periodically.
- It is beneficial to cross items off when they are completed.
6. Review your goals and your progress weekly.
- Re-evaluate each goal as circumstances change.
- If your priorities change, drop goals from your list or add new ones.
- Ask yourself ‘why’ if you have not made progress; ﬁnd out what is in your way.
- Question if unachieved goals are still important to you.
7. If possible, ﬁnd a friend.
- Try to get friends to help out with your project.
- Offer to reciprocate and help your friend in return.
- Two can get more done in a shorter period of time than one.
- You hold each other accountable to accomplishing your goals.
8. Reward yourself.
- As you plan your goals, attach speciﬁc rewards to each goal.
- The reward should be commensurate with the amount of work.
- Be consistent about rewarding yourself for every accomplishment.
- Each completion deserves a reward, no matter how small.
9.Take time to enjoy success.
- Take time to acknowledge the fact that you have accomplished a goal.
- Don’t simply charge into the next task or in time, you will likely burn out.
- Remember the time and effort you invested.
- Savor the feeling of completion.
- Refresh and renew your enthusiasm before you continue.

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“Cultivate the habit of setting clearly-defined written goals; they are the road maps that guide you to your destination.” -Roy T. Bennett

“You must keep your mind on the objective, not on the obstacle.” -William Randolph Hearst (1863 - 1951)

“The secret to productive goal setting is in establishing clearly defined goals, writing them down and then focusing on them several times a day with words, pictures, and emotions as if we’ve already achieved them.” -Denis Waitley (Denis Edwin Waitley, Senior (born 1933)), website https://www.deniswaitley.com/

“Each step forward is one less step that has to be taken.” -Brian Adams

The goal shapes the plan.
The plan shapes the action.
The action achieves the results.
The results bring success.
-Author Unknown

“Goals are simply tools to focus your energy in positive directions, these can be changed as your priorities change, new ones added, and others dropped.” -O. Carl Simonton (Oscar Carl Simonton, Junior (1942 - 2009))

“Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire, and begin at once, whether you’re ready or not, to put it into action.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Know what you want to do, hold the thought firmly, and do every day what should be done, and every sunset will see you that much nearer the goal.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“If you have no goals, another day of your life just passes you by.” -Author Unknown

“To reach a goal you have never before attained, you must do things you have never before done.” -Richard G. Scott (Richard Gordon Scott (1928 - 2015))

“Have the dogged determination to follow through to achieve your goal; regardless of circumstances or whatever other people say, think, or do.” -Paul J. Meyer (Paul James Meyer (1928 - 2009))

“You cannot trust everyone with your dreams, just a very few people. Beware of dream destroyers, those people who pick away at you and your ideas, people who only find fault and reason to criticize, people who keep themselves and others locked into small lives that lack any worthy attainments. Seek out those few individuals who can inspire and motivate you as you work to make your dreams come true.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Reduce your plan to writing . . . The moment you complete this, you will have definitely given concrete form to the intangible desire.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Every minute you spend in your life is either spent bringing you closer to your goals or moving you away from your goals.” -Bo Bennett (Robert Foster ‘Bo’ Bennett (born 1972))

“Even if I don’t reach all my goals, I’ve gone higher than I would have if I hadn’t set any.” -Danielle Fotopoulos (Danielle Ruth Garrett Fotopoulos (born 1976))

“You can achieve almost any goal if you just do what other successful people have done to achieve the same goals before you.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Review your goals twice every day in order to be focused on achieving them.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945))

“The secret of life is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything to, every minute of the day for the rest of your life. And the most important thing is, it must be something you cannot possibly do.” -Henry Moore (1898 - 1986)

“Whether or not you reach your goals in life depends entirely on how well you prepare for them and how badly you want them.” -Ronald McNair (1950 - 1986)

“Find a peaceful place where you can make plans for the future. Clear away all distractions: everything within your visual field, everything in your periphery vision, all noises . . . now get to the work of considering what you want to achieve, writing it down in simple yet specific words.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1900 - 1944)

“You’ve got to think about big things while you’re doing small things, so that all the small things go in the right direction.” -Alvin Toffler (1928 - 2016)

“Don’t be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can’t cross a chasm in two small steps.” -David Lloyd George (1863 - 1945)

“You can do what you want to do, accomplish what you want to accomplish, attain any reasonable objective you may have in mind - not all of a sudden, perhaps not in one swift and sweeping act of achievement - but you can do it gradually, day by day and play by play, if you want to do it, if you work to do it, over a sufficiently long period of time.” -William E. Holler (William E. ‘Bill’ Holler (1888 - 1969))

“Keep true to the dreams of thy youth.” -Johann Friedrich von Schiller (1759 - 1805)

“Instead of thinking about where you are, think about where you want to be.” -Diana Rankin

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.” -attributed to Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“Arriving at one goal is the starting point to another.” -John Dewey (1859 - 1952)

“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” -Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973)

“If you really want something, and really work hard, and take advantage of opportunities, and never give up, you will find a way.” -Jane Goodall (born 1934)

“Goals. There’s no telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There’s no telling what you can do when you believe in them. There’s no telling what will happen when you act upon them.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“There is only one perfect time to start working towards a goal: right now.” -Byron Pulsifer, website https://www.QuotesChristian.com

We are MFOL! . . . and our goal is to make the internet awe-inspiring . . .

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Hopes and Dreams

3/1/2021

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“Everything begins as a dream.” -Author Unknown

“Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.” -Helen Keller (Helen Adams Keller (1880 - 1968))

“Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945))

“To accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” -Anatole France (pseudonym of Jacques Anatole François Thibault (1844 - 1924)): as quoted in Sidney Greenberg, editor: “Treasury of the Art of Living” (1964)

“Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Do all you can to make your dreams come true.” -Joel Osteen (born 1963)

“HOPE: Hanging Onto Positive Expectations.” -Author Unknown

“If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.” -Flavia Weedn (Flavia Marie Weedn (1929 - 2015)): “Flavia and the Dream Maker” (1998)

“Hope costs nothing.” -Colette (Sidonie Gabrielle Colette (1873 - 1954))

“The hopeful man sees success where others see failure; sunshine where others see shadows and storm.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Hope has two beautiful daughters, named Anger and Courage; Anger at the way things are, and Courage to change them.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430))

“Dreams come a size too big so you can grow into them.” -Author Unknown

“In all things it is better to hope than to despair.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Hold on to your dreams, for they are, in a sense, the stuff of which reality is made. It is through our dreams that we maintain the possibility of a better, more meaningful life.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

“The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope.” -Barbara Kingsolver (born 1955)

“No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t lose hope. When the Sun goes down, the stars come out.” -Author Unknown

“What steps could you take right now to begin turning your dreams into realities?” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.” -Dale E. Turner (Dale Emerson Turner (1917 - 2006)), website https://www.reverenddaleturner.org/

“While there’s life, there’s hope.” -Terence (Publius Terentius Afer (185 B.C.E. - 159 B.C.E.)): “Heuton timoroumenos,” line 981

“Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.” -John Updike (John Hoyer Updike (1932 - 2009))

“Hope doesn’t require a massive chain where heavy links of logic hold it together. A thin wire will do . . . just strong enough to get us through the night until the winds die down.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“Set out each day believing in your dreams. Know without a doubt that you were made for amazing things.” -Josh Hinds (Josh Stephen Hinds (born 1973))

“Hope, like the gleaming taper’s light,
Adorns and cheers our way;
And still, as darker grows the night,
Emits a brighter ray.”
-Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774): “The Captivity” (1764), Act II

“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.” -Christopher Reeve (Christopher D’Olier Reeve (1952 - 2004))

“Hope is necessary in every condition. The miseries of poverty, of sickness, or captivity, would, without this comfort, be insupportable; nor does it appear that the happiest lot of terrestrial existence can set us above the want of this general blessing; or that life, when the gifts of nature and of fortune are accumulated upon it, would not still be wretched, were it not elevated and delighted by the expectation of some new possession, of some enjoyment yet behind, by which the wish shall at last be satisfied, and the heart filled up to its utmost extent.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (1750 - 1752), number 67

“Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall at last unveil.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“When the world says, ‘Give up,’ Hope whispers, ‘Try one more time.’” -Author Unknown

“We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.” -Jesse Owens (1913 - 1980)

“Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.” -Leo J. Suenens (Leo Jozef Suenens (1904 - 1996))

“At the darkest moment comes the light.” -Joseph Campbell (1904 - 1987)

“Dreams are necessary to life.” -Anaïs Nin (born Angela Anaïs Juana Antolina Rosa Edelmira Nin y Culmell (1903 - 1977))

“Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.” -Thornton Wilder (Thornton Niven Wilder (1897 - 1975))

“Dreams are the seedlings of realities.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.” -Thích Nhất Hanh (born 1926 as Nguyễn Xuân Bảo)

“It may be that those who do most, dream most.” -Stephen Butler Leacock (1869 - 1944)

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work; you don’t give up.” -Anne ‘Annie’ Lamott (born 1954)

“Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second. Give your dreams all you’ve got and you’ll marvel at the energy that comes out of you.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“Hope is a vigorous principle; it is furnished with light and heat to advise and execute; it sets the head and heart to work, and animates a man to do his utmost. And thus, by perpetually pushing and assurance, it puts a difficulty out of countenance, and makes a seeming impossibility give way.” -Jeremy Collier (1650 - 1726)

“I have had dreams and I have had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.” -Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995)

“The path to a dream is paved with sacrifices and lined with determination. And although it has many stumbling blocks along the way and may go in more than one direction, it is marked with faith. It is traveled by belief in you and others but requires courage, persistence, and hard work. It is conquered with a willingness to face challenges and take chances, to fail and try again and again. Along the way, you may have to confront doubts, setbacks, and unfairness. But when the path comes to an end, you will find that there is no greater joy than making your dream come true.” -Author Unknown

“Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (Harriett Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940))

“It is good to dream, but it is better to dream and work. Faith is mighty, but action with faith is mightier. Desiring is helpful, but work and desire are invincible.” -Thomas Robert Gaines (1877 - 1965)

“Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive. If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even where confidence is wounded, trust impaired.” -Erik Erikson (1902 - 1994)

“The only thing that stands in between you and your dreams is the will to try and the belief that it is actually possible.” -Joel Brown at https://www.iamjoelbrown.com/

“There is always hope.” -Author Unknown

“Miracles start to happen when you give as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears.” -Richard Wilkins (Richard Stephen Wilkins (born 1954))

“A pocket full of hope is worthless if spent in all the wrong places on all the wrong people.” -S. L. Heaton (Shirley Heaton)

“Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“The hopes of men have been justly called waking dreams.” -Basil (C.E. 330 - C.E. 379): letter to Gregory of Nazianzus: as quoted in S. Baring-Gould (Sabine Baring-Gould (1834 - 1924)): “The Lives of the Saints” (1873)

“The capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. It provides human beings with a sense of destination and the energy to get started.” -Norman Cousins (1915 - 1990)

“Of all the people I have ever known, those who have pursued their dreams and failed have lived a much more fulfilling life than those who have put their dreams on a shelf for fear of failure.” -Author Unknown

“Hope is like the Sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“At every crossroad, follow your dream. It is courageous to let your heart lead the way.” -Thomas Leland (1722 - 1785)

“Never stop believing in hope because miracles happen every day.” -Author Unknown

“Dreams don’t work unless you do.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“Hope is as cheap as Despair.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2542

“Dreams can come true if you take the time to think about what you want in life.” -Author Unknown

“Practice hope. As hopefulness becomes a habit, you can achieve a permanently happy spirit.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“When you have a dream, you’ve got to grab it and never let go.” -Carol Burnett (Carol Creighton Burnett (born 1933))

“My hopes are not always realized, but I always hope.” -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18))

“Every moment is another chance to make your dreams come true.” -Author Unknown

“False hope is better than no hope at all.” -Lois Greiman (Lois Denise Greiman (born 1959))

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.” -J. K. Rowling (Joanne Kathleen ‘Jo’ Rowling (born 1965)): “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” (1997)

“If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.” -Clement of Alexandria (also known as Titus Flavius Clemens (about C.E. 150 - about C.E. 215))

“Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away.” -Tom Clancy (Thomas Leo Clancy, Junior (1947 - 2013))

“Where there is no hope, there can be no endeavor.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (6 April 1751) journal

“All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“The real people of genius were resolute workers, not idle dreamers.” -George Henry Lewes (1817 - 1878)

“For hope is but the dream of those that wake.” -Matthew Prior (1664 - 1721): “Solomon on the Vanity of the World,” book iii, line 102

“All men of action are dreamers.” -James G. Huneker (James Gibbons Huneker (1860 - 1921))

“Trust your hopes, not your fears.” -David Mahoney (David Joseph Mahoney, Junior (1923 - 2000))

“Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.” -Author Unknown

“Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” -Gloria Steinem (born 1934)

“People too weak to follow their own dreams typically tend to find a way to discourage yours.” -Author Unknown

“Hope never abandons you; you abandon it.” -George Weinberg (1929 - 2017)

“All our dreams can come true - if we have the courage to pursue them.” -Walt Disney (Walter Elias ‘Walt’ Disney (1901 - 1966)): as quoted in Pat Williams: “How to Be Like Walt: Capturing the Magic Every Day of Your Life” (2004), Chapter 3, ‘Imagination Unlimited,’ page 63

“Always chase your dreams instead of running from your fears.” -Author Unknown

“If it were not for Hopes, the Heart would break.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2689

“Nothing happens unless first a dream.” -Carl Sandburg (Carl Augustus Sandburg (1878 - 1967))

“Everything that is done in the world is done by the hopeful. No matter your age. No matter your circumstances. No matter your financial wealth. Without hope, nothing is possible. But with hope . . . well . . . watch out.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Your dreams tell you what to do; your reason tells you how to do it.” -Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995)

“Hope is itself a species of happiness, and, perhaps, the chief happiness which this world affords.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832): “Faust,” lines 214 and 215, as translated by John Anster (1835)

“In both children and adults, there can be a hard-to-deny link between a robust sense of hope and either work productivity or academic achievement.” -Jeffrey Kluger (born 1954)

“Great Hopes make great Men.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 1759

“Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.” -attributed to Coco Chanel (Gabrielle Bonheur ‘Coco’ Chanel (1883 - 1971))

“There is nothing like a dream to create the future.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.” -Christopher Reeve (Christopher D’Olier Reeve (1952 - 2004))

We are MFOL! . . . and our fondest Hopes and Dreams are that you will visit us often . . . as you make your way toward all the good that life has in store for you . . .

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Scarecrows

2/23/2021

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The Scarecrow

Scarecrow standing in the field
     On a bright and sunny day,
Don’t forget to do your job -
     Scare the hungry crows away!

by Author Unknown

Whitney: Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Whitley: He was simply out standing in his field!

Scarecrows

We’re the farmer’s scarecrows
     We scare away the birds,
We keep the farmer’s corn safe
     Without any words;
But when Hallowe’en comes
     We jump out of the ground
And we scare the boys and girls
     When they come walking ’round.
Boo!

by Author Unknown: can be sung to the same tune as that of “Sing a Song of Sixpence”

Apparently, scarecrows are effective at scaring not only birds, but people as well, which may be why they frequently feature in Halloween decorations and scary movies.

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The Scarecrow

The farmer made a scarecrow
     And stuffed it full of straw.
He put it in the cornfield,
     but the crows laughed, “Haw-caw.”

One crow sat on Scarecrow’s hat.
     He was not scared at all.
That scarecrow did not scare
     A single crow away all Fall!

by Author Unknown

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Scarecrow: Guardian of the Garden.

Hey, wait a second . . . that scarecrow appears to be a crow . . .

Question: What was the Scarecrow character in the movie, “The Wizard of Oz” (1939) seeking?
Answer: The Scarecrow in the “Wizard of Oz” wanted the Wizard to give him a brain.

Scarecrow Joel

There once was a scarecrow name Joel
Who couldn’t scare crows, save his soel.
But the crows put the scare
Into Joel. He’s not there
Any more. That’s his hat on the poel.

by David McCord (David Thompson Watson McCord (1897 - 1997))

Different ways exist to make a scarecrow. A typical scarecrow with a human shape can be made by sticking a pole in the ground in a farm field or garden. A shorter cross-stick is attached to it and becomes the arms. Alternatively, a dummy can be made from stuffing old clothes with straw. A head can be made by stuffing an old burlap sack or pillowcase with straw, and then attaching a hat. A scarecrow scares away crows and other birds that eat crops. Also effective as an alternative to a scarecrow is a shiny metal pie tin or pan hung from a rope tied between two poles or to a fence; a slight breeze will cause it to move, attracting the eyes of birds and causing them to take flight.

Owl figures scare away pigeons, making them almost like the city cousins of the countryside scarecrows.

Scarecrow: Cop of the cornfield.

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The Scarecrow

Five fat blackbirds,
     Sitting in the straw.
Laughing at the scarecrow,
     Caw! Caw! Caw!

Five fat blackbirds,
     Eating all the corn.
Silly old birds,
     It’s going to storm.

Poor sad scarecrow,
     Sitting on a fence.
“Boo!” yelled the scarecrow,
     Away they went!

by Author Unknown

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“Scarecrow: One who takes as a compliment the words, ‘You’re scary.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

The Scarecrow

The scarecrow stands
     With hanging hands,
Beside the farmer’s stile.
     He scares the jay
And crow away.
     With just a painted smile.

by Author Unknown

Esther: What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Estelle: A strawberry.

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The Scarecrow

Here is the scarecrow, see him stand
     Upon the newly planted land;
A figure rugged and forlorn,
     A silent watcher of the corn.

His dangling legs, his arms spread wide,
     A lone man of the countryside;
Uncouth, the butt of pen and tongue,
     Unheralded, unsought, unsung

To you, old scarecrow, then this lay
     To cheer you on your lonely way;
Would that all men, their whole lives through,
     Served some good purpose same as you.

by Annie Stone

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Say this tongue twister three times fast: Seth said some serious scarecrows scare crows silly.

Further fantastically fascinating frivolity follows . . . on MFOL!

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The Future and Predictions

2/16/2021

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People who have looked into the future say that while we might think it would be exciting, it is actually pretty boring, because in the future, many problems have been solved, and very few new problems have been found to take their place - how will humankind possibly be happy with fewer problems to solve?

What Lies Ahead?

I wish, I wish that I could know
     The places I have yet to go,
The ways I’ll change, the things I’ll do,
     The special dreams I’ll make come true,
I wish, I wish that I could see
     The life that lies ahead of me.

by Author Unknown

“By the year 1975, people will be shot from city to city across the country in tubes.” -Edward Everett Hale (1822 - 1909) (1899)

Watch Your Step

The future lies before you,
     Like a field of driven snow,
Be careful how you tread it,
     For every step will show.

by Author Unknown

“We must discipline ourselves to convert dreams into plans, and plans into goals, and goals into those small daily activities that will lead us, one sure step at a time, toward a better future.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009)): “Five Major Pieces to the Life Puzzle” (1991)

“A rocket will never be able to leave the Earth’s atmosphere.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in the “New York Times” (1936) newspaper

“Your future is as bright as your faith!” -Thomas S. Monson (Thomas Spencer Monson (1927 - 2018))

“It looks like the future’s really bright.” -Michael P. Anderson (Michael Philip Anderson (1959 - 2003))

“Fooling around with alternating current is just a waste of time. Nobody will use it, ever.” -Thomas Edison (Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931)) (1889)

“By the year 2000, amid general plenty, politics will simply fade away.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983)) (1966)

“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt (Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882 - 1945)): “The Public Papers and Addresses of Franklin D. Roosevelt, 1944 - 1945” (1950), page 616

“To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacriﬁce, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places - and there are so many - where people have behaved magniﬁcently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction. And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an inﬁnite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in deﬁance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.” -Howard Zinn (1922 - 2010): “A Power Governments Cannot Suppress” (1 December 2006), page 270

“In the year 3000, everything will be instant.” -Dane Cook (Dane Jeffrey Cook (born 1972))

“The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.” -Bill Watterson (William Boyd ‘Bill’ Watterson II (born 1958)): “Calvin & Hobbes” (1985) cartoon

“The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C,’ the idea must be feasible.” -Unidentified Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith’s paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service; Fred Smith went on to found the Federal Express Corporation

“The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only more expensive.” -John Sladek (John Thomas Sladek (1937 -2000))

“Nuclear-powered vacuum cleaners will probably be a reality in ten years.” -Alex Lewyt (Alexander M. Lewyt (1908 - 1988)): as quoted in the “New York Times” (1955) newspaper

“The future is not what it used to be.” -Paul Valéry (1871 - 1945)

“The energy produced by the breaking down of the atom is a very poor kind of thing. Anyone who expects a source of power from the transformation of these atoms is talking moonshine.” -Ernest Rutherford (1871 - 1937), shortly after the atom had been split for the first time.

“We have no way of knowing what lays ahead for us in the future. All we can do is use the information at hand to make the best decision possible.” -Christopher ‘Chris’ Walken (born Ronald ‘Ronnie’ Walken (born 1943))

“The world potential market for copying machines is 5,000 at most.” -Author Unknown: statement of International Business Machines (1959), to the eventual founders of Xerox

“The future is not laid out on a track. It is something that we can decide, and to the extent that we do not violate any known laws of the Universe, we can probably make it work the way that we want to.” -Alan Kay (Alan Curtis Kay (born 1940)): in his paper ‘Inventing the Future,’ as published in Patrick Henry Winston and Karen Prendergast, editors: “The AI Business: The Commercial Uses of Artificial Intelligence” (1984)

“The cinema is little more than a fad. It’s canned drama. What audiences really want to see is flesh and blood on the stage.” -Charlie Chaplin (Charles Spencer ‘Charlie’ Chaplin (1889 - 1977)) (1916)

“You create a good future by creating a good present.” -Eckhart Tolle (born Ulrich Leonard Tölle (born 1948))

“Law will be simplified. Lawyers will have diminished, and their fees will have been vastly curtailed.” -Junius Henri Browne (1833 - 1902) (1893), predictions he made for over the next century

“I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.” -William Allen White (1868 - 1944)

“Television won’t last. It’s a flash in the pan.” -Mary Somerville (1897 - 1963) (1948)

“If you take no part in the design of your future, it will be designed for you by others.” -Edward de Bono (born 1933)

We are now living in the future, so where are the flying cars the futurists promised us all those years ago . . . it seems we have no choice but to build them ourselves!

“The future is not in the hands of fate, but in ours.” -Jules Jusserand (Jean Jules Jusserand)

“The future lies hidden in the past, waiting for us to uncover it, quite as surely as history repeats itself.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If I had thought about it, I wouldn’t have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can’t do this.” -Spencer Silver (Spencer Ferguson Silver (born 1941)): on the work that led to the unique adhesive used in 3-M ‘Post-It’ notepads

“The only way to predict the future is to have power to shape the future.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)

“When the Paris Exhibition closes, electric light will close with it and no more will be heard of it.” -Erasmus Wilson (William James Erasmus Wilson (1809 - 1884)) (1878)

“The best way to suppose what may come, is to remember what is past.” -George Savile (1633 - 1695): “Political, Moral, and Miscellaneous Thoughts and Reflections” (1750), ‘Miscellaneous: Experience’

“The idea that cavalry will be replaced by these iron coaches is absurd. It is little short of treasonous.” -Unidentified Aide-de-camp (1916), speaking to Field Marshal Haig at a tank demonstration

“When all else is lost, the future still remains.” -Christian Nestell Bovée (1820 - 1904)

“Cease to inquire what the future has in store, and take as a gift whatever the day brings forth.” -Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)): “Carmina,” book I, number 9, line 13

“X-rays will prove to be a hoax.” -Lord Kelvin (William Thomson (1824 - 1907)) (1883)

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” -Peter F. Drucker (Peter Ferdinand Drucker (1909 - 2005))

“Your future is created by what you do today, not tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“I have seen the future, and it’s like the present, only longer.” -Dan Quisenberry (Daniel Raymond ‘Quiz’ Quisenberry (1953 - 1998))

“The future always holds something for the man who keeps his faith in it.” -H. L. Hollis

“You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all of your muscles? It can’t be done. It’s just a fact of life. You just have to accept inconsistent muscle development as an unalterable condition of weight training.” -Author Unknown: response to Arthur Jones, who solved the ‘unsolvable’ problem by inventing Nautilus

“We could use up all the proven reserves of oil in the entire world by the end of the next decade.” -Jimmy Carter (James Earl Carter, Junior (born 1924)) (18 April 1977), televised speech

“The future is made of the same stuff as the present.” -Simone Weil (Simone Adolphine Weil (1909 - 1943))

“The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to no one in particular?” -Unidentified Associates (1921) of David Sarnoff, responding to his urging for investment in radio

“Coming events cast their shadows before.” -Thomas Campbell (1777 - 1844): “Lochiel’s Warning” (1802), line 56; type of work: poem

“I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won’t last out the year.” -Unidentified Editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall (1957)

“Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.” -Roger Babson (Roger Ward Babson (1875 - 1967))

“Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.” -Irving Fisher: speech (16 October 1929) to the Purchasing Agents Association, 5 days before the stock market crash leading into the Great Depression Era

“The future’s already here - it just isn’t evenly distributed.” -William Gibson (William Ford Gibson (born 1948))

“Fifty years hence automobile traffic will have entirely disappeared from the surface thoroughfares of New York City, and people will be shot through tubes like merchandise.” -Harvey W. Corbett (Harvey Wiley Corbett (1873 - 1954)): as attributed in “The American Institute of Architects” (1925)

“Take therefore no thought for the morrow; for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Matthew,’ chapter 6, verse 34

“To place a man in a multi-stage rocket and project him into the controlling gravitational field of the Moon where the passengers can make scientific observations, perhaps land alive, and then return to Earth - all that constitutes a wild dream worthy of Jules Verne. I am bold enough to say that such a man-made voyage will never occur regardless of all future advances.” -Lee de Forest (born Lee DeForest (1873 - 1961)) (1926)

“The future you shall know when it has come; before then forget it.” -Aeschylus (about 525 B.C.E. - about 456 B.C.E.)

“This ‘telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us.” -Author Unknown: Western Union internal memo (1876)

Your Future Is Up to You

What does your future hold?
     Some things new and some things old,
Some things lead and some things gold.
     All will be determined, it can be foretold,
Whether, as this passing moment does unfold,
     You choose to be timid or decide to be bold.

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“But what . . . is it good for?” -Unidentified Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of International Business Machines (1968), commenting on the microchip

“The trouble with the future is that it usually arrives before we are ready for it.” -Arnold H. Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.” -Ken Olson (1977), president, chairman, and founder of Digital Equipment Corporation, maker of mainframe computers, arguing against the personal computer

“Our futures are formed by the thoughts we hold most often.” -Wayne Dyer (Wayne Walter Dyer (born 1940))

“The future is green and low tech. We’ll watch aquariums, not TVs.” -A. Pavletich

“The first step towards creating an improved future is developing the ability to envision it. Man can only receive what he sees himself receiving.” -Florence Scovel Shinn

“The future has a habit of suddenly and dramatically becoming the present.” -Roger Babson (Roger Ward Babson (1875 - 1967))

“There is practically no chance communications space satellites will be used to provide better telephone, telegraph, television, or radio service inside the United States.” -T. Craven (Tunis Augustus Macdonough Craven, also known as T. A. M. Craven (1893 - 1972)) (1961); the first commercial communications satellite went into service in 1965

“The future will soon be a thing of the past.” -George Carlin (George Denis Patrick Carlin (1937 - 2008)): “Napalm and Silly Putty” (2001), page 260

“Men might as well project a voyage to the Moon as attempt to employ steam navigation against the stormy North Atlantic Ocean.” -Dionysius Lardner (1793 - 1859)

“The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.” -Mike Murdock (Michael Dean ‘Mike’ Murdock (born 1946))

“Do your duty and a little more and the future will take care of itself.” -Andrew Carnegie (1835 - 1919)

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor ‘Eleanor’ Roosevelt (1884 - 1962)): as quoted in Leonard C. Schlup and Donald W. Whisenhunt: “It Seems to Me: Selected Letters of Eleanor Roosevelt” (2001), page 2

“Your future depends on many things, but mostly you.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

This is MFOL! . . . and here comes the future . . . wow, it sure is moving fast . . . it just flew right by us . . . and now it is the gone into the past . . . wait, here it comes again . . . see if you can grab onto it this time!

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Choices and Decisions

2/10/2021

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“You are only one decision away from a totally different life.” -Author Unknown

“You are the possessor of a great and wonderful power. This power, when properly applied, will bring confidence instead of timidity, calmness instead of confusion, poise instead of restlessness, and peace of mind in place of heartache. What is your greatest power? The power to choose.” -J. Martin Kohe (Jack Martin Kohe (1902 - 1960)): “Your Greatest Power” (1953)

“We are our choices.” -Jean-Paul Sartre (Jean-Paul Charles Aymard Sartre (1905 - 1980))

“Sir, what is the secret of your success?” a reporter asked a bank president. “Two words.” “And, sir, what are they?” “Right decisions.” “And how do you make right decisions?” “One word.” “And, sir, what is that?” “Experience.” “And how do you get experience?” “Two words.” “And, sir, what are they?” “Wrong decisions.”

“There are always two choices, two paths to take. One is easy . . . and its only reward is that it’s easy.” -Author Unknown

When faced with a decision, decide.
When faced with a choice, choose.
Sitting on the fence will leave you too tense,
Because you neither win nor lose!
-Barry Spilchuk

“We are living in a time when the best of things are on the Earth . . . and the worst of things. Are we taking advantage of the best of things . . . and staying away from the worst of things?” -Author Unknown

“You can never successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.” -Author Unknown

“Our lives are, in reality, the sum total of our seemingly unimportant decisions and of our capacity to live by those decisions.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” -J. K. Rowling (Joanne ‘Jo’ Rowling (born 1965)): “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” (1998); line spoken by fictional character Professor Dumbledore

“Daily decisions determine destiny.” -Author Unknown

“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)): “The Innocents Abroad” (1869)

“We are a product of the choices we make, not the circumstances that we face.” -Roger Crawford

“Between two evils, choose neither; between two goods, choose both.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 68

“Doing isn’t difficult. Deciding is.” -Foster Hibbard

“The most important choice we make is what we choose to make important.” -Michael Neill

“Life is the sum of all your choices.” -Albert Camus (1913 - 1960)

“In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing to do. The worst thing you can do is nothing.” -Theodore Roosevelt (Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919))

“We make our choices, then our choices make us. Choose carefully.” -Author Unknown

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” -Denis Waitley (born 1933)

“Your life becomes the thing you have decided it shall be.” -Raymond Charles Barker

Does it scare you when someone says to you, “It’s your decision.”?

“Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to require the most from you.” -Caroline Myss (born 1952)

“Make your judgement trustworthy by trusting it. You can develop good judgement as you do the muscles of your body - by judicious, daily exercise. To be known as a man of sound judgement will be much in your favor.” -Grantland Rice (Henry Grantland ‘Grantland’ Rice (1880 - 1954))

“When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that in itself is a choice.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“Don’t base your decisions on the advice of people who don’t have to deal with the result.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: It is terrible to be indecisive. I feel like a centipede that has just been told to put its best foot forward.

Now let us consider the pros and cons of making a Pros and Cons Chart . . .

One way to weigh your difficult decisions is to make a decision chart, in which you list the good points under the word ‘Pros’ meaning ‘In Favor Of’ and bad points under the word ‘Cons’ meaning ‘Against.’

Matthew: Yippee, I get to make a decision! Yahoo! I finally get to decide something!
Martha: Yes . . . so would you like liver and onions or cauliflower and tripe for dinner?

“There is but bad choice, where the whole stock is bad.” -Author Unknown

“It is better to make a wrong decision than build up a habit of indecision. If you’re wallowing in indecision, you certainty can’t act - and action is the basis of success.” -Marie Beynon Ray (1886 - 1969)

“Choices are the hinges of destiny.” -Pythagoras (about 570 B.C.E. - about 495 B.C.E.)

“Almost any decision is better than no decision at all.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Dwelling on past bad decisions you’ve made only allows those decisions to keep defining you. Forgive yourself and move on.” -Mandy Hale (born 1978)

“Sometimes walking away is the best decision.” -Kimberley Blaine

Decidophobia is a fear of making decisions. Perhaps one approach to overcoming the fear would be to start out with making small or minor decisions. Decide which decisions are small.

“It is choice and not chance which determines our destiny.” -Author Unknown

“The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides.” -Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821 - 1881)

“It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires great strength to decide what to do.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

Overheard: I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not even sure about that.

“Can you not see that to decide to do nothing is the most wretched of all decisions?” -Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885)

“Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want a different result, make a different choice.” -Author Unknown

“When faced with two equally tough choices, most people choose the third choice: to not choose.” -Jarod Kintz (born 1982): “This Book Title is Invisible”

“It is not so much the major events as the small day-to-day decisions that map the course of our living.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Your life is a result of the choices you make . . . If you do not like your life, it is time to start making better choices.” -Author Unknown

“My basic principle is that you don’t make decisions because they are easy; you don’t make them because they are cheap; you don’t make them because they’re popular; you make them because they’re right.” -Theodore Hesburgh (Theodore Martin Hesburgh (born 1917))

“Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.” -Author Unknown

“There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision.” -William James (1842 - 1910): “The Principles of Psychology” (1890), Chapter 4

“Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.” -Robert F. Bennett

“It’s not hard to make decisions once you know what your values are.” -Roy E. Disney (Roy Edward Disney (1930 - 2009))

“Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left? Five, because there’s a difference between deciding and doing.” -Mark L. Feldman & Michael F. Spratt: “Five Frogs on a Log” (1999)

“We cannot lead a choiceless life. Every day, every moment, every second, there is a choice.” -Ernest Holmes (Ernest Shurtleff Holmes (1887 - 1960))

“Decisiveness is a characteristic of high-performing men and women.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Scan. Select. Move on.” -Author Unknown

What should you do when you come to a fork in a road, and have to decide which of the two roads to take? A wise person once said, “When you come to a giant fork in a road, hey, take it, because further ahead, there might be a giant slice of blueberry pie.” Wait . . . that doesn’t make any sense . . .

“There’s an alternative. There’s always a third way, and it’s not a combination of the other two ways - it’s a different way.” -David Carradine (born John Arthur Carradine (1936 - 2009))

“You make what seems a simple choice: choose a spouse or a job or a neighborhood - and what you have chosen is not a spouse or a job or a neighborhood but a life.” -Jessamyn West

“Weigh well what you can only once decide.” -Author Unknown

“You’ve got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you’re not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice.” -Steven D. Woodhull (born 1976)

“Nothing is so exhausting as indecision, and nothing is so futile.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970)): “The Conquest of Happiness” (1930)

“Indecisiveness is the key to flexibility.” -Author Unknown

“Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.” -Rita Mae Brown (born 1944)

“Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” -Stephen Covey (Stephen Richards Covey (1932 - 2012))

“Make choices today you can live with tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.” -Elizabeth Kübler-Ross (1926 - 2004)

“We almost always have choices, and the better the choice, the more we will be in control of our lives.” -William Glasser (1925 - 2013)

“Some decisions in life are difficult, like when you are asked if you will trade your truck-load of bananas for a car-load of monkeys.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.” -Keri Russell

“Remember this, the choices you make in life, make you.” -John Wooden (1910 - 2010)

This is MFOL! . . . perhaps the easiest decision you will make today . . . or maybe just the best . . . you get to decide . . .

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Rhyming Riddles

2/6/2021

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Riddle:
You’ll see me when the Sun is high and also late at night,
I’m in the songs of holidays, when the snow is white,
Kings and Queens and royalty, are all found in me,
I’m the largest of them all, with just one you see,
Step by step with pounding feet, I’m tribes of angry men,
I’m above your hands right now, for help or to go again,
You’ll use me in the kitchen, or add a little more,
I’ll be in the years to come, and the days of yore.
What am I?
Answer:
I am the number twelve.

Riddle: What is hot and yellow, and rhymes with fun?
Answer: The Sun.

Riddle:
Sometimes curly,
Sometimes flat,
I’m over your head
And under your hat -
What am I?
Answer:
I am your hair.

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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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Said the Little Dog to the Tree

“Now, why,” remarked the little dog,
    in speaking to the tree,
“Could one say that the heart of you
    is like the tail of me?”

The tree gave the conundrum up.
    The pup, with wisdom stark,
Explained the matter, saying,
    “It is farthest from the bark.”

by Author Unknown

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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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Riddle:
Each morning I appear,
To lie at your feet,
All day I follow,
No matter how fast you run,
Yet I nearly perish
In the midday sun.
What am I?
Answer:
I am your shadow.

Riddle: What is a plaything for a girl or a boy?
Answer: A toy.

Riddle:
Never resting, never still.
Moving silently from hill to hill.
I do not walk, run, or trot.
All is cool where I am not.
What am I?
Answer:
I am sunlight.

Riddle:
Can you decipher the following?
Yy u r, yy u b
I c u r yy 4 me!
Answer:
Too wise you are, too wise you be,
I see you are too wise for me!

Riddle: What is sweet to eat and rhymes with dandy?
Answer: Candy.

Riddle:
There’s not a kingdom on the Earth,
But I have traveled over and over,
And though I know not whence my birth,
Yet when I come, you know my roar.
I through the town do take my flight,
And through the fields and meadows green,
And whether it be day or night,
I neither am nor can be seen.
Who am I?
I am the wind.

Riddle:
Twelve pairs hanging high,
     Twelve knights riding by,
Each knight took a pear,
     And yet left a dozen there.
Let us consider this mystery,
     How could this ever be?
Answer:
We are twelve pairs of pears.

Riddle: What goes in an envelope and rhymes with better?
Answer: A letter.

Riddle:
Until I am measured
I am not known,
Yet how you miss me
When I have flown.
What am I?
Answer:
I am time.

Riddle:
I am seen in the water
If seen in the sky,
I am in the rainbow,
A jay’s feather,
And lapis lazuli.
What am I?
Answer:
I am the color blue.

Riddle: What did your grandfather use to buy a gumball when he was a boy that rhymes with Jenny?
Answer: A penny.

Riddle:
Lovely and round
I shine with pale light,
Grown in the darkness,
A lady’s delight.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a pearl.

Riddle:
I am only useful
When I am full.
Yet, I am always
Full of holes.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a sieve.

Riddle: What helps us count and rhymes with seven?
Answer: The number eleven.

Riddle:
Glittering points
That downward thrust,
Sparking spears
That never rust.
What am I?
Answer:
I am an icicle.

Riddle:
Great deeds with little strength I do,
I close the open, open the closed, for you.
I keep the master’s house, the master keeps me, too.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a key.

Riddle: What is something you dig where the sea meets the land?
Answer: Sand.

Riddle:
I live in the oceans, the rivers, and seas;
When I’m cold I float -
When I’m hot, I’m free.
What am I?
Answer:
I am water.

Riddle:
I hear a lot
And I say a lot
Few ever look for me
And even fewer ever hear me
I hide in plain sight
Whether it’s day or night
To help is all I want
But most like to bend me
And as if they had a wand
Never again shall anyone find me
They do this to control
Without realizing the high price of a soul
But when I’m least expected
They’d rather be protected
For there shall be no place to hide
What am I?
Answer:
I am the truth.

Riddle: What helps us breath and rhymes with rose?
Answer: Nose.

Riddle:
There was a girl in our town,
Silk an’ satin was her gown,
Silk an’ satin, gold an’ velvet,
Guess her name, three times I’ve telled it.
What is it?
Answer:
Ann is her name.

Riddle:
I sing when I’m struck
Or whenever they shake me.
By mold and cast,
The craftsmen make me.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a bell.

Riddle:
Little Nanny Etticoat,
In a white petticoat,
And a red nose;
The longer she stands,
The shorter she grows.
What is she?
Answer:
She is a candle.

Riddle:
Old Mother Twitchett had but one eye,
And a long tail which she let fly;
And every time she went over a gap,
She left a bit of her tail in a trap.
What is she?
Answer:
She is a needle and thread.

Riddle:
A word I know
That six letters contains,
Subtract the last
And only twelve remains.
What is it?
Answer:
The word is dozens.

Riddle:
I like trees,
And I loathe bees.
I sleep all day,
And I’m misty and gray.
I have mossy hair,
but I can still be a scare -
What am I?
Answer:
I am a bat.

Riddle:
As I was going to Saint Ives,
I met a man with seven wives,
Every wife had seven sacks,
Every sack had seven cats,
Every cat had seven kittens -
Kittens, cats, sacks, and wives,
How many were going to Saint Ives?
Answer:
Only I was going to Saint Ives.

Riddle:
I am a word of letters three;
Add two,
And even fewer there will be.
Who am I?
Answer:
I am the word few, becoming ‘fewer’ with two letters added.

Riddle:
In marble walls as white as milk,
Lined with a skin as soft as silk,
Within a fountain crystal clear,
A golden apple doth appear,
No doors there are to this stronghold,
Yet thieves break in and steal the gold.
What am I?
Answer:
I am an egg.

Riddle:
I am in the church,
But not in the steeple.
I am in the parson,
But not in the people.
What am I?
Answer:
I am the letter ‘r.’

Riddle:
I run all day and I never walk,
I have a big mouth, but never talk.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a river.

Riddle:
A mystery in a question,
A rhythmic rhyming bit of fun,
An enigma in search of reason -
Now for a moment or a season,
May you your mind fearlessly fathom
To all depths, widths, and heights,
Wherein therein lies my solution -
Who am I?
Answer:
I am a nearly-rhyming nonsense riddle.
by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Riddle:
Up, up, up,
Higher than a house,
Higher than a tree.
Twinkling bright,
Oh! whatever can I be?
Answer:
I am a star.

Riddle:
I come in different styles,
I can walk with you for miles,
I come in a pair,
I’m something that you wear,
With heels I am glam -
Can you guess what I am?
Answer:
I am shoes.

Riddle:
In the warm months I wear green,
Both in the day and at night;
As it cools I shed yellow,
But during winter I wear white.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a tree.

Riddle:
You heard me before,
Yet you hear me again,
Then I fade,
Until you call me again
What am I?
Answer:
I am an echo.

Riddle:
A brightly colored winged-thing,
I flit and flutter all about;
Two antennae, two eyes,
And six little legs have I.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a butterfly.

This is MFOL! . . . your rainbow on a rainy day . . .

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Failures and Successes

2/2/2021

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Violet: May I ask you the secret of your success?
Iris: There is no easy street. You simply jump at your opportunity.
Violet: But how can I tell when my opportunity comes?
Iris: You can’t. You’ve just got to keep on jumping.

“There is no point at which you can say, ‘Well, I’m successful now, I might as well take a nap.’” -Carrie Fisher (born 1956)

“In public, we say the race is to the strongest; in private, we know that a lopsided man runs the fastest along the little side hills of success.” -Frank M. Colby (Frank Moore Colby (1865 - 1925))

“I am not a failure if I don’t succeed; I am successful because I tried.” -Susan Jeffers (1938 - 2012))

“You never become a howling success by just howling.” -Bob Harrington (1950 - 1992)

“The secret of success is to triple your rate of failure.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“How can they say my life isn’t a success? Have I not for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?” -Logan Pearsall Smith (1865 - 1946)

“Success is not about ‘who you know,’ but rather ‘who knows you.’” -Author Unknown

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try a grin!” -Author Unknown

“You are the only person who can really label what you do as a success or a failure.” -Author Unknown

“Failures and setbacks are ingredients for a great success story.” -Author Unknown

“Successful and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities. They vary in their desires to reach their potential.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

Judgement

Before God’s footstool to confess
     A poor soul knelt, and bowed his head;
“I failed,” he cried. The Master said,
     “Thou didst thy best - that is success!”

by Author Unknown

“Drifting through life without aim or purpose is the first cause of failure.” -Author Unknown

“I owe all my success in life to having been always a quarter of an hour beforehand.” -Horatio Nelson (1758 - 1805)

“Success is difficult, it requires enormous effort. Those who can work through the struggle become successful.” -Jackie Joyner (Jacqueline Joyner-Kersee (born 1962))

“Success and failure. We think of them as opposites, but they’re really not. They’re companions - the hero and the sidekick.” -Laurence Shames (born 1951)

“If at first you don’t succeed, you’re running about average.” -M. H. Alderson (Miles Henry Alderson (1841 - 1924))

“You have to look successful in order to be successful.” -Author Unknown

If I should win, let it be by the code,
     With my faith and my honor held high,
But if I should lose, let me be the first to stand by the road,
     And cheer as the winner walks by.
-Sam Haskell: “Promises I Made My Mother” (April 2009), autobiography

“What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?” -Robert Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“Success: All it takes is all you’ve got.” -Author Unknown

“Notice the difference between what happens when a man says to himself, ‘I have failed three times,’ and what happens when he says, ‘I am a failure.’” -S. I. Hayakawa (Samuel Ichiye Hayakawa (1906 - 1992))

“Success means doing the best we can with what we have. Success is the doing, not the getting - in the trying, not the triumph. Success is a personal standard - reaching for the highest that is in us - becoming all that we can be. If we do our best, we are a success. Success is the maximum utilization of the ability that you have.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012)): as quoted in Hugh B. Sanders: “The Subconscious Diet: It’s Not What You Put in Your Mouth; It Is What You Put in Your Mind” (2005), page 104

“Success comes to many men because they were deprived of advantages others had.” -Author Unknown

“Supposing you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” -Mary Pickford (born Gladys Louise Smith, also known as Gladys Marie Pickford (1893 - 1979)): as quoted in Carolyn Warner: “The Last Word - A Treasury of Women’s Quotes” (1992)

“Failure is the path of least persistence.” -Author Unknown

“The next best thing to winning is losing! At least you’ve been in the race.” -Nellie Hershey Tullis (Nellie Helen Hershey Tullis (1872 - 1964))

“Keep steadily before you the fact that all true success depends at last upon yourself.” -Theodore T. Munger (Theodore Thornton Munger (1830 - 1910)): as quoted in Elizabeth P. Bemis: “Primary Plans” (1909), Volume 7, page 54

“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“The common denominator of success - the secret of success of every man who has ever been successful - lies in the fact that he formed the habit of doing things that failures don’t like to do.” -Albert E. N. Gray: speech (1940) in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States of America, at the annual convention of the National Association of Life Underwriters

“Achieve success in any area of life by identifying the optimum strategies and repeating them until they become habits.” -Charles J. Givens (Charles J. ‘Chuck’ Givens (1941 - 1998))

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.” -Lloyd Jones (born 1955): “Mister Pip” (2006) novel

“Ninety-nine percent of success is built on failure.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying the basic fundamentals.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Failure is the first step towards success.” -Author Unknown

“If at first you do succeed, try something harder.” -Ann Landers (Esther Pauline Friedman Lederer (1918 - 2002))

“Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day, while failure is simply a few errors in judgement, repeated every day. It is the accumulative weight of our disciplines and our judgements that leads us to either fortune or failure.” -Author Unknown

“Failures are the stepping stones by which we reach success.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“The secret to success is to start from scratch and keep on scratching.” -Dennis Green

“The common idea that success spoils people by making them vain, egotistic, and self-complacent is erroneous; on the contrary it makes them, for the most part, humble, tolerant, and kind. Failure makes people bitter and cruel.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)): “The Summing Up” (1938), page 182

“You always pass failure on the way to success.” -Mickey Rooney (born Joseph Yule, Junior (1920 - 2014))

“The most unfortunate thing that happens to a person who fears failure is that he limits himself by becoming afraid to try anything new.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

“One fails forward toward success.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“An Unfailing Success Plan: At each day’s end write down the six most important things to do tomorrow; number them in order of importance, and then do them.” -Author Unknown

“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently.” -Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)

“Ask yourself the secret of your success. Listen to your answer, and practice it.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“Failure lies not in falling down but rather in not getting up.” -Author Unknown

“For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Book of Proverbs,’ chapter 24, verse 16

“Failure . . . failure . . . failure . . . failure . . . failure . . . failure . . . failure . . . SUCCESS!!!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall.” -Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774)

“Failure? I never encountered it. All I ever met were temporary setbacks.” -Dottie Walters

“Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.” -William A. Feather (William Arthur Feather (1889 - 1981))

“The Lord would want you to be successful. He would. You are His sons and His daughters. He has the same kind of love and ambition for you that your earthly parents have. They want you to do well and you can do it.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Failure is an event, never a person.” -William D. Brown (William David Brown (born 1936)): “Welcome Stress!” (1983)

“The most successful people are not necessarily the most popular.” -Author Unknown

“There is only one success . . . to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)): “Where the Blue Begins” (1922)

“Failure is success if we learn from it.” -Malcolm S. Forbes (Malcolm Stevenson Forbes (1919 - 1990))

“If you could find out what the most successful people did in any area and then you did the same thing over and over, you’d eventually get the same results they do.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“He who has never failed somewhere, that man cannot be great.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)

“Success consists of doing the common things of life uncommonly well.” -Author Unknown

“If the usual way to achieve success is by first making mistakes, then it would be a mistake not to go ahead and make some mistakes.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I couldn’t wait for success . . . so I went ahead without it.” -Jonathan Winters (Jonathan Harshman Winters III (1925 - 2013))

“It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Behind every success is a succession of failures.” -Rick Beneteau

“I can give you a six-word formula for success: ‘Think things through - then follow through.’” -Eddie Rickenbacker (1890 - 1973)

“Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.” -Joyce Brothers (Joyce Diane Brothers (1927 - 2013))

“Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” -Louis E. Boone (Louis Eugene Boone (1941 - 2005))

“If you fail, never give up, because FAIL means First Attempt In Learning. End is not the end. END means Effort Never Dies. If you get no as an answer, remember NO means Next Opportunity. Positive thinking!” -Author Unknown

“Some succeed because they are destined to, but most succeed because they are determined to.” -Author Unknown

“Behind every successful man there are a lot of unsuccessful years.” -Bob Brown

“A failure is not always a mistake; it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.” -B. F. Skinner (Burrhus Frederic Skinner (1904 - 1990))

“Success is waking up in the morning, whoever you are, wherever you are, however old or young, and bounding out of bed because there’s something out there you love to do, that you believe in, that you’re good at - something that’s bigger than you are, and you can hardly wait to get at it again today.” -Whit Hobbs

“It is infinitely more exciting to live a life of catastrophic failures than a life of could-haves, should-haves, and would-haves.” -M. H. Meng (Moh Hon Meng)

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“Success is dependent on effort.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“Success isn’t how far you get, but the distance you travel from where you start.” -Author Unknown

“You are successful the moment you start moving toward a worthwhile goal.” -Chester Floyd Carlson (1906 - 1968)

This is MFOL! . . . made from ridiculously awesome . . .

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Competitions and Contests

1/29/2021

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“Your toughest competition in life is anyone who is willing to work harder than you.” -Casey Coleman

“Put yourself in competition with yourself each day. Each morning look back upon your work of yesterday and then try to beat it.” -Charles Sheldon (Charles Monroe Sheldon (1857 - 1946))

“It is the contest that delights us, not the victory.” -Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

“You don’t have to be a fantastic hero to do certain things - to compete. You can be just an ordinary chap, sufficiently motivated to reach challenging goals. The intense effort, the giving of everything you’ve got, is a very pleasant bonus.” -Edmund Hillary (Edmund Percival Hillary (1919 - 2008))

“Winning doesn’t always mean being first. Winning means you’re doing better than you’ve ever done before.” -Bonnie Blair

“Accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory.” -George S. Patton (George Smith Patton, Junior (1885 - 1945))

Riddle: What makes Ford a better car?
Solution: Chrysler.

“The race is long but in the end it is only with yourself.” -Author Unknown: “Everybody’s Free” (song)

Girl: What did you get the little trophy for?
Boy: For singing.
Girl: What did you get the big trophy for?
Boy: For stopping!

“The only competition you will ever have is the competition between your disciplined and undisciplined mind.” -James A. Ray

“Rarely have I seen a situation where doing less than the other guy is a good strategy.” -Jimmy Spithill

“Life is a competition, not with others, but with ourselves. We should seek each day to live stronger, better, truer lives; each day to master some weakness of yesterday; each day to repair a mistake; each day to surpass ourselves.” -David B. Haight

“Two sketch artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.” -Author Unknown

“The only competition worthy a wise man is with himself.” -Anna Brownell Jameson (1794 - 1860)

“He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797): “Reflections on the Revolution in France,” page 453

“The problem with keeping up with the Jones is that it creates a world full of Jones.” -Julian Barton

“All strategy depends on competition.” -Bruce D. Henderson

“Life is a competition, not with others, but with ourselves. We should seek each day to live stronger, better, truer lives; each day to master some weakness of yesterday; each day to repair a mistake; each day to surpass ourselves.” -David B. Haight

“The only person I must be better than is the person I was yesterday.” -Author Unknown

We are MFOL! . . . and we declare that everybody is good at something - you only have to keep trying different things until you discover what interests you . . . and then . . . ‘Work At It Until You Excel At It!’ . . .

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Television

1/25/2021

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“After 20 years of searching, you are forced to admit that there just isn’t anything good on TV.” -Author Unknown: “The Onion,” ‘Horoscope’

“There was a show on television the other day that was so old . . . the cowboys were riding dinosaurs.” -Author Unknown

Emma: What was the television doing at the beach?
Lee: Channel surfing.

“Television? The word is half Greek and half Latin. No good will come of this device.” -C. P. Scott (1936)

The television network executives were constantly infuriated by Jay Ward, creator of “The Adventures of Bullwinkle and Rocky” (also known as “The Bullwinkle Show”). He continually pulled off-the-wall stunts on his show. In one episode, he had Bullwinkle tell audience members to pull the knobs off their televisions so that, “We’ll be sure to be with you next week.” 20,000 kids obliged the request. The following week, Bullwinkle told those kids to glue the knobs back on.

“The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you’re doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.” -Jerry Seinfeld (Jerome Allen ‘Jerry’ Seinfeld (born 1954))

“Television is for appearing on, not looking at.” -Noel Coward

Question: Which television show had characters that lived at 1313 Mockingbird Lane in Mockingbird Heights?
Answer: “The Munsters”

‘Laugh tracks’ are also known as ‘canned laughter.’ Many of the laugh tracks now used in television programs, especially sitcoms and talk shows, were recorded in the 1950’s . . . when people still knew how to laugh and had something to laugh about.

“My father hated radio and couldn’t wait for television to be invented so he could hate that, too.” -Peter De Vries (1910 - 1993)

The first television commercial for a toy was in 1946 for Mr. Potato Head.

“Television: An electrical device which, when broken, stimulates conversation.” -Author Unknown

In 1965, BBC TV featured an interview with a professor who had just invented a device called “smellovision.” This miraculous technology allowed viewers to experience directly in their own home aromas produced in the television studio. The professor offered a demonstration by cutting some onions and brewing coffee. A number of viewers called in to confirm that they distinctly experienced these scents as if they were there in the studio with him. Since no aromas were actually being transmitted, whatever these viewers thought they smelled coming out of their TV sets must be chalked up to the power of suggestion.

What kinds of things on television and in movies make you laugh?

Young Lady from Trent

There was a young lady from Trent
Whose TV antenna got bent -
The neighbors went crazy;
Their screens all got hazy,
For instead of receiving, she sent!

by John Etheridge

“Television is about watching a life instead of having one.” -Beth Mazur

“The Brady Bunch is a live action modern fairytale of family. In this context it’s less odd that it’s lasted for over thirty years; and why it may last in some respects as long as Mother Goose!” -Christopher Knight

“If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.” -Lily Tomlin (born 1939)

“The story you have just heard is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.” -Author Unknown: “Dragnet” (1949 - 1957)

“Television has changed the American child from an irresistible force to an immovable object.” -Laurence J. Peter (Laurence Johnston Peter (1919 - 1990))

“I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.” -Dwight D. Eisenhower (Dwight David ‘Ike’ Eisenhower (1890 - 1968))

“You open it with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension. A dimension of sound. A dimension of sight. A dimension of mind. You are moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.” -Rod Serling: one of the intros to the “Twilight Zone” show

“Television contracts the imagination and radio expands it.” -Terry Wogan (born 1938): as quoted in the “Observer” (December 1984) of London

“I don’t know what’s wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman.” -Bruce Baum

“Don’t you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There’s one marked, ‘Brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.” -Gallagher (born 1946 as Leo Anthony Gallagher)

“Television is a form of theater - even news ‘shows’ are simply actors who sit in front of cameras and read from edited scripts displayed on teleprompters or other devices. Reality shows are scripted and are just as far from reality as people can get without being permanently institutionalized.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“My husband wanted one of those new big-screen TV’s for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.” -Wendy Liebman

“Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want.” -Clive Barnes

Hey, who stole our “TV Guide”?!

“TV - a clever contraction derived from the words ‘Terrible Vaudeville’ . . . we call it a medium because nothing’s well done.” -Goodman Ace: letter to Groucho Marx

“The human race is faced with a cruel choice: get a job or watch daytime television.” -Author Unknown

“I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can’t stop eating peanuts.” -Orson Welles (1915 - 1985)

An estimated one in every four Americans has appeared on television, though most are not shown in close-up facial images. You might be walking down the street, standing in a line, sitting down at a sports or other entertainment event, eating lunch at a sidewalk cafe, or spending a leisurely day at a park. You won’t necessarily know that a camera is trained on you or scanning the area you are in, and in most cases, they don’t need your permission legally to do so. Most likely the video of you will be put into storage as ‘stock footage’ at a television studio, to be used at a later time to illustrate a news story. For example, a news program might do a segment on obesity. Someone will be sent to search through the stock footage until something is found that shows a sidewalk full of people walking. They will then edit the video in order to emphasize the obviously overweight people, and show it while a news commentator reads aloud some statistics or health information. This is just another good reason to always try to be at your best when you are out in public.

Fred: Hey, look, Helen, you’re on TV.
Helen: Fred, that’s ridiculous. I’m standing right over here - how could I possibly be on TV?

Question: Who was the first dog in history to adopt a little boy and to build a time machine?
Answer: Mr. Peabody, in “The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.”

What is your favorite television show?

“Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the ‘reception’ was good.” -Author Unknown

“Television is the single greatest threat to communications and connections within a family. You may as well be fifty miles away from the person sitting next to you if you’re both watching television.” -Author Unknown

Shows that may be appearing on TV soon, as a result of the computer age:
- Modem, She Wrote: Each week, our intrepid detective tries to solve the ultimate mystery: Why her modem won’t ever connect at 56k.
- Micro-CHiPs: Ponch and Jon now patrol the Information Superhighway.
- Hawaii 6.0: An upgraded version of the classic series. Steve McGarrett goes surfing for bad guys online.
- T. J. Hacker: A retired cop, with an uncanny resemblance to James T. Kirk, takes up computer hacking to track down the miscreants who canceled his TV show.
- The Excel Files: Inexplicable things are happening to the data in Microsoft Excel spreadsheets. Can this puzzle be solved? The truth is out there.
- Magnum, PC: This series about a crime-solving personal computer that goes by the code name Deep Blue is based in beautiful Hawaii. Season finale cliff-hanger: Will Deep Blue be led into a life of crime by the wily charms of the Texas Instruments Speak ‘n’ Spell?
- The Incredible Bulk: The exciting adventures of Windows, which just keeps growing and growing.

“Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn’t have in your home.” -David Frost (David Paradine Frost (1939 - 2013))

“There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.” -Rod Serling: one of the intros to the “Twilight Zone” show

“Whoever controls the media - the images - controls the culture.” -Allen Ginsberg

[Television] “. . . won’t be able to hold on to any market it captures after the first six months. People will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night.” -Darryl F. Zanuck (1946)

TV announcer: “Our regularly scheduled program will not be seen tonight - because we’ve discovered that not broadcasting anything did better in the ratings than the program itself!”

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” -Groucho Marx (Julius Henry ‘Groucho’ Marx (1890 - 1977))

“All television is educational television. The question is: What is it teaching?” -Nicholas Johnson

“Television programming: Material that fills the time between commercials.” -Author Unknown

“There is a lot of hype going on about high-definition television. But is it really worth it to pay more money to see the same junk in sharper detail?” -Thomas Sowell (born 1930)

Question: How many channels are on a VHF TV dial?
Answer: 12 (there is no #1).

“The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely.” -T. S. Eliot (Thomas Stearns Eliot (1888 - 1965))

“TV is chewing gum for the eyes.” -Frank Lloyd Wright (born Frank Lincoln Wright (1867 - 1959))

“While theoretically and technically television may be feasible, commercially and financially I consider it an impossibility, a development of which we need waste little time or dreaming.” -Lee De Forest (1926)

“Television, a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.” -Ernie Kovacs (1919 - 1962)

“Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.” -Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)

We control your horizontal . . . we control your vertical . . . we are . . . television executives. So they’re who’s responsible . . .

My TV’s Under the Weather

My TV came down with a chill.
As soon as I saw it was ill
     I wrapped up its channels
     In warm Winter flannels
And gave its antenna a pill.

by Willard R. Espy

The Society for the Eradication of Television (SET) no longer exists, and Couch Potatoes likewise is defunct, so some of us must organize to eradicate the beastly television hobgoblin monster thing before it turns us all into gelatinous masses with non-functioning legs and bloodshot eyes. Who will go forth to slay the dragon? Will it be you? How about you? You, over there, can you do it? Hey, can somebody get us some fresh batteries for the remote?

“The best show on TV can usually be found on the OFF channel.” -Author Unknown

Quiz Show Questions and Answers
Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon.
An item of clothing worn by the “Three Musketeers?” A horse.
Something you wear on a beach? A deck-chair.
Something that flies that doesn’t have an engine? A bicycle with wings.
A famous bridge? “The Bridge over Troubled Waters.”
Something people might be allergic to? Skiing.
Something you put on walls? A roof.
Something slippery? A con-man.
A food that can be brown or white? A potato.

“I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off.” -Jack Paar (Jack Harold Paar (1918 - 2004)): as quoted in “TV Guide”

“Television has proven that people will look at anything rather than each other.” -Ann Landers

“Late night T.V. is very educational. It teaches you that you should have gone to bed earlier.” -James Dent

“The smallest bookstore still contains more ideas of worth than have been presented in the entire history of television.” -Andrew Ross

In the United States of America, federal law states that children’s television shows may contain only 10 minutes of advertising per hour and on weekends the limit is 10 and one-half minutes.

“There are days when any electrical appliance in the house, including the vacuum cleaner, seems to offer more entertainment possibilities than the TV set.” -Harriet Van Horne

“If television shows continue the way they’re going, the public will soon be demanding longer commercials.” -Author Unknown

“There is an educational channel. It’s called ‘off.’” -Lily Henderson: remark made at 11 years of age

So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
     Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
     A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
-Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990): “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” (1964)

Just remember, children and adults, watching television is bad for your intellect, causes muscles to atrophy, makes imaginations shrivel, and is a leading cause of suffering in relationships . . . so instead hang out on MFOL! . . . or, even better, go outside and play . . . with your friends, your family, or your imagination . . .

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Teddy Bears

1/20/2021

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“Long before I grew up, my Teddy Bear taught me what love really meant: being there when you’re needed.” -Jim Nelson

Bernie: What do Teddy Bears do when it rains?
Barney: They get wet.

The history of Teddy Bears is believed to have started in about 1902 or shortly thereafter, when the first stuffed Teddy Bears were produced by the Ideal Novelty & Toy Company in America and also by the Steiff Company in Germany. The origin of the name ‘Teddy Bear’ is claimed to be derived from the twenty-sixth American President, Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919; in office 1901 - 1909). His nickname was ‘Teddy,’ so technically, the ‘Teddy Bear’ would be his namesake.

Tad: What’s the difference between Teddy Bears and apples?
Tod: Teddy Bears don’t grow on trees.

“A bear knows all your secrets - and keeps them.” -Rosanne Brown

Two Little Teddy Bears

Two little Teddy Bears
   Big brown eyes
Fluffy little Teddy Bears
     Making mud pies
Muddy little paws, dirty little feet
     Making mud pies is a very special treat
Pop them in the oven
     Bake them in the oven
Bake them till they’re brown
     Our mud pies are the best in town
Ask all the other Bears
     Won’t you come to tea
To eat the finest mud pies
     In the whole country?

by Author Unknown

Melissa: What did the Teddy Bear say when he was offered a second helping?
Chrissy: “No thanks; I’m already stuffed!”

Once upon a time there were three bears . . . three Teddy Bears, that is . . .

“My Teddy was there when I had no friends to play with, no one to talk to, no one to share my little woes or my big joys. He looked constant and was constant. He never aged, no matter how tattered he became. His smell was the smell of my years as a boy, and he alone knew everything. Now, when I see him on the shelf, he is like my flesh and my soul - older, worn, but still full of happiness.” -Robert Kunciov

Theodore: How do Teddy Bears keep their houses cool in Summer?
Ted: They use bear-conditioning.

“It is astonishing, really, how many thoroughly mature, well-adjusted grown-ups harbor a Teddy Bear - which is perhaps why they are thoroughly mature and well-adjusted.” -Joseph Lempa

“Teddy Bears live more commonly in the arms of children than in the woods.” -Author Unknown

Ellie: What do you call a Teddy Bear at the North Pole?
Allie: Lost!

Dutch police cars carry toy Teddy Bears in case something troubling happens to a child.

Theo: How do Teddy Bears send their letters?
Teddy: By bear mail, of course!

Shakespeare pre-dated the Teddy Bear, but he captured the companionship and bond we share with our bears when he wrote: “He was my friend, faithful, and just to me . . .” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

“A bear remains a bear - even when most of him has fallen off or worn away.” -Charlotte Gray

“After people and dolls, Teddy Bears are the third most likely guests to be invited to tea parties.” -Author Unknown

“The gift of a Teddy Bear is good for boys and girls of nearly any age, as well as men and women; they are acceptable in all seasons and on all holidays; they are found in homes, hospitals, and schools. They bring warmth and a sense of belonging to new arrivals in orphanages, foster homes, and emergency shelters. It is not unknown for them to be given by police officers, firefighters, paramedics, soldiers, and rescuers, to persons in distress. As a practical matter, they take up little space, are easily packed and carried, and can double as a pillow for one’s head. They are never out-of-date. In a store somewhere is a Teddy Bear or perhaps a few dozen, waiting to be picked up and presented by you as a welcome gift to someone who is certain to be appreciative.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“A bedroom without a Teddy is like a face without a smile.” -Gil Davies

“The world is divided into two nations: those with Teddy bears, those without. Each thinks the other is odd.” -Jenny De Vries

“There’s no bear like an old bear.” -Samantha Armstrong

Teddy Bear

Teddy was under the lilac bush -
when the snow went away we found him there.
And one of his shoebutton eyes was lost
and the shine was gone from his yellow hair.
But Teddy blinked with his last black eye
and said that he really didn’t care
(except that his cave was a trifle cold)
as long as we came and found him there.
And he said with a smile on his white yarn mouth
that Real bears slept in a cave or lair
All through the Winter . . . and if they could,
well then, why couldn’t a Teddy Bear?

by Aileen Fisher (Aileen Lucia Fisher (1906 - 2002))

“One never quite gets over a lost bear.” -Jane Swan

“Whoever said, ‘Diamonds are a girl’s best friend,’ would retract that statement after seeing the sparkle in a Teddy’s eyes.” -Lana T. Zeis

“Now that I’m all grown up, I can buy any old Teddy Bear I want - except the old Teddy Bear I want.” -William Sternman

Nellie: Why couldn’t the Teddy Bear finish his lunch?
Nettie: Because he was stuffed!

“There’s just something about a Teddy Bear that’s impossible to explain. When you hold one in your arms, you get a feeling of love, comfort, and security. It’s almost supernatural.” -James Ownby

“A Teddy Bear does not depend upon mechanics to give him the semblance of life. He is loved - and therefore he lives.” -Pat Brown

Fuzzy: How do you start a Teddy Bear race?
Wuzzy: Teddy, set, go!

“All bears merit a dignified old age.” -Peter Gray

Vincent: What is the difference between a Teddy Bear and a turkey?
Sylvia: If you don’t know, maybe you shouldn’t cook any holiday dinners!

“A bear grows more alive with age. No one with an ounce of sensitivity could ever consign a bear to the dustbin.” -Johnnie Hague

Tricia: What kind of umbrella does a Teddy Bear carry in the rain?
Beatrice: A wet one!

“Bears are just about the only toy that can lose just about everything and still maintain their dignity and worth.” -Samantha Armstrong

“A Teddy Bear’s virtue is that he cannot love himself . . . only others.” -Ted Menten

“Anyone who has looked a Teddy Bear in the face will recognize the friendly twinkle in his knowing look.” -Harold Nadolny

Your Tiny Teddy Bear

I will be your tiny Teddy Bear,
     And when you need comforting, I will be there!
I’m huggable, lovable, and portable,
     And for the value I bring, I’m quite affordable!
I am cushiony soft and squeezable,
     And I need no batteries, and I am hand-washable!
I am waiting for you, in a shop all alone,
     And now . . . please pick me up and take me home!

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Teddy Bears are one of the most popular gifts to present at baby showers and to newborn babies.

“You really don’t have to be young to find a friend in a Teddy Bear.” -Rachel Newman

Threadbare Ted

Ted the threadbare Teddy Bear
Thought at first he was of no use and later
Discovered he had a flare for being there
Which is mostly all that is required
In times of need.

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

For just the right Teddy Bear, visit Vermont Teddy Bears at https://www.VermontTeddyBear.com/ and be sure to let them know you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Geoffrey: Why did Teddy Bear not eat dessert?
George: Because he was already stuffed.

“Once a bear has been loved by a human being, its expression is forever marked.” -Jama Kim Rattigan

“A Teddy Bear is your childhood wrapped up in faded yellow fur, and as such, he commands affection long after he is outgrown.” -Pat Brown

This is MFOL! . . . we cannot wait to see what is coming next . . .

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Procrastination and Procrastinating

1/17/2021

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“Don’t put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))

They said ‘procrastination’ was
     The source of all my sorrow.
I don’t know what that big word means -
     I’ll look it up tomorrow.
-Author Unknown

Earl: Can you give me the definition of procrastination?
Lee: I will do it later.
Earl: You are right!

procrastination is the
art of keeping
up with yesterday
-Don Marquis (Donald Robert Perry ‘Don’ Marquis (1878 - 1937)): “the lives and times of archy & mehitabel” (1940), using lower case letters and no punctuation, in the style of the fictional writer character he created

“In delay there lies no plenty.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

Overheard: I bought a book titled “How to Stop Procrastinating,” and I have promised myself that someday, I am going to actually read it.

“Do not put your work off till tomorrow and the day after; for a sluggish worker does not fill his barn.” -Hesiod (about 800 B.C.E. - about 720 B.C.E.)

“When we procrastinate, we also put a hold on happiness.” -Charles F. Glassman

“I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator . . . I can put off all kinds of things at once.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Procrastination is not laziness,” I tell him. “It is fear. Call it by its right name, and forgive yourself.” -Julia Cameron (Julia B. Cameron (born 1948)): “The Prosperous Heart” (2012)

“It was my fear of failure that first kept me from attempting the master work. Now, I’m beginning what I could have started ten years ago. But I’m happy at least that I didn’t wait twenty years.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

“Join the circus of chaos . . . juggling, stilt walking, and other skills for socially acceptable procrastination.” -Pat Murphy (Patrice Ann ‘Pat’ Murphy (born 1955))

“Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon ‘Napoleon’ Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Putting off an easy thing makes it hard. Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible.” -George Claude Lorimer (1838 - 1904): as quoted in George Horace Lorimer (1867 - 1937): “Letters from a Self-Made Merchant to His Son” (1902), ‘June 25, 189-,’ page 48

“While we are postponing, life speeds by.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument, while the song I came to sing remains unsung.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

“You can’t get much done in life if you only work on the days when you feel good.” -Jerry Alan West (Jerome ‘Jerry’ Alan West (born 1938))

“Procrastination makes easy things hard, hard things harder.” -Mason Cooley (1927 - 2002)

“Every duty which is bidden to wait, returns with seven fresh duties at its back.” -Charles Kingsley (1819 - 1875): “Sermons for the Times” (1855)

“Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.” -Stephen King (born 1947)

“The dread of doing a task uses up more time and energy than doing the task itself.” -Rita Emmett (1943 - 2019)

“Things dreaded require double time to accomplish them.” -James Lendall Basford (1845 - 1915)

“If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.” -Ivan Turgenev (Ivan Sergeyevich Turgenev (1818 - 1883))

“Begin while others are procrastinating. Work while others are wishing.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“If you wait until all the lights are ‘green’ before you leave home, you’ll never get started on your trip to the top.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“KISS Procrastination Away: Keep It Super Simple, Keep It Step-by-Step, Keep It Scheduled and Systematic.” -Lisa A. Mininni (Lisa Ann Mininni (born 1954))

“How soon ‘not now’ becomes ‘never’.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Doing just a little bit during the time we have available puts you that much further ahead than if you took no action at all.” -Byron Pulsifer (Byron R. Pulsifer), website https://www.QuotesChristian.com

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” -Anne Frank (1929 - 1945): “The Diary of a Young Girl” (1952)

Lose This Day Loitering

Lose this day loitering - ‘twill be the same story
     To-morrow - and the next more dilatory;
Each indecision brings its own delays,
     And days are lost lamenting o’er lost days,
Are you in earnest? Seize this very minute -
     Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Only engage, and then the mind grows heated -
     Begin it, and then the work will be completed!

by Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe (1749 - 1832): “Faust,” Part 1 (1808) and Part 2 (1832)

Overheard: Some tasks have to be put off dozens of times before they will completely slip your mind.

“Things don’t get any easier by putting them off.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)): “The Razor’s Edge” (1943)

Shun delays, they breed remorse;
     Take thy time while time is lent thee;
Creeping snails have weakest force,
     Fly their fault lest thou repent thee.
Good is best when soonest wrought,
     Linger’d labours come to nought.
-Robert Southwell (1561 - 1595): “Loss in Delay”; as quoted in William B. Turnbull, editor: “The Poetical Works of the Rev. Robert Southwell” (1856)

“I’m very busy doing things I don’t need to do in order to avoid anything I’m actually supposed to be doing.” -Author Unknown

“Do you know what happens when you give a procrastinator a good idea? Nothing!” -Donald Gardner

“Waiting to develop courage is just another form of procrastination. We must take action while we’re afraid.” -Author Unknown

“A procrastinator’s work is never done.” -Author Unknown

“Getting an idea should be like sitting on a pin; it should make you jump up and do something.” -E. L. Simpson

“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.” -Thomas Draxe (birth year unknown - 1618): “Adages” (1616)

“Remember, action today can prevent a crisis tomorrow.” -Steve Shallenberger (Steven R. Shallenberger (born 1958)): “Becoming Your Best: The 12 Principles of Highly Successful Leaders” (2014)

“What is deferred is not avoided.” -Thomas More (1478 - 1535): “Utopia” (1516)

Procrastination is the thief of time:
     Year after year it steals, till all are fled,
And to the mercies of a moment leaves
     The vast concerns of an eternal scene.
-Edward Young (1683 - 1765): “Night Thoughts” (1742 - 1745), line 393

“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870))

“Procrastination is a road-block in the path of success.” -Author Unknown

“The habit of always putting off an experience until you can afford it, or until the time is right, or until you know how to do it, is one of the greatest burglars of joy. Be deliberate, but once you’ve made up your mind - jump in.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934)): “Living on the Ragged Edge” (1985), page 110

“Often greater risk is involved in postponement than in making a wrong decision.” -Harry A. Hopf (Harry Arthur Hopf (1882 - 1949))

“Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow.” -Gerald Vaughan

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955))): “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” (1948)

“I’m going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!” -Sam Levenson (Samuel ‘Sam’ Levenson (1911 - 1980))

“What may be done at any Time will be done at no Time.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 5500

“Procrastination is a teardrop in the sands of time.” -Heath Byers

“One of these days is none of these days.” -H. G. Bohn (Henry George Bohn (1796 - 1884))

“Someday is not a day of the week.” -Janet Dailey (Janet Anne Haradon Dailey (1944 - 2013))

“If you procrastinate when faced with a big, difficult problem . . . break the problem into parts, and handle one part at a time.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“It has been a productive day - I got a lot of procrastinating accomplished.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“The man who will not act until he knows all will never act at all . . .” -Jim Elliot (1927 - 1956)

“Procrastination usually results in sorrowful regret. Today’s duties put off until tomorrow give us a double burden to bear; the best way is to do them in their proper time.” -Ida Scott Taylor (Ida Scott Taylor McKinney (1855 - 1932))

“The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.” -Richard Cushing (Richard James Cushing (1895 - 1970))

“There are those of us who are always about to live. We are waiting until things change, until there is more time, until we are less tired, until we get a promotion, until we settle down - until, until, until. It always seems as if there is some major event that must occur in our lives before we begin living.” -George Sheehan (1918 - 1993)

“One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

Defer not till to-morrow to be wise,
To-morrow’s Sun to thee may never rise.
-William Congreve (1670 - 1729): “Letter to Cobham,” line 61

“Postpone not a good action.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb

“If you put off everything till you’re sure of it, you’ll never get anything done.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

All the Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
Layin’ in the Sun,
Talkin’ bout the things
They woulda-coulda-shoulda done . . .
But those Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
All ran away and hid
From one little did.
-Shel Silverstein (Sheldon Allan ‘Shel’ Silverstein (1930 - 1999)): “Falling Up” (1996)

“I don’t wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has got to get down to work.” -Pearl S. Buck (Pearl Sydenstricker Buck (1892 - 1973))

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter, who?
Butter late than never!

“Don’t put off for tomorrow what you should do today.” -Aesop: “The Grasshopper and the Ants” (about 6th century B.C.E.)

“By one delay after another they spin out their whole lives, till there’s no more future left for them.” -Roger L’Estrange (1616 - 1704)

“Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“He who hesitates is last.” -Mae West

“If you have goals and procrastination, you have nothing. If you have goals and you take action, you will have anything you want.” -Thomas J. Vilord (Thomas Joseph Vilord (born 1975))

“By the street of By-and-By, one arrives at the House of Never.” -Miguel de Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1547 - 1616)): “Don Quixote” (1605)

“A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.” -Hunter S. Thompson (Hunter Stockton Thompson (1937 - 2005)): “The Proud Highway” (1997)

“Following through is the only thing that separates dreamers from people that accomplish great things.” -Gene Hayden

“If and When were planted, and Nothing grew.” -Catherine Pulsifer (born 1927): “If and When,” website https://www.QuotesChristian.com

“There is no avoidance in delay.” -Aeschylus (about 525 B.C.E. - about 456 B.C.E.): “Agamemnon” (about 458 B.C.E.)

“Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.” -Robert Benchley (Robert Charles Benchley (1889 - 1945)): as quoted in Robert E. Drennan, editor: “The Algonquin Wits” (1968)

“If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.” -Rita Mae Brown (born 1944)

Overheard: I am just waiting to do my work at the last minute, because by then I will be older and wiser.

“Often just by taking action, by doing something about the situation, you can relieve the stress and help correct the situation.” -Catherine Pulsifer (born 1927), website https://www.QuotesChristian.com

“He who begun has half done. Dare to be wise; begin.” -Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.))

“Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“The really happy people are those who have broken the chains of procrastination, those who find satisfaction in doing the job at hand. They’re full of eagerness, zest, productivity. You can be, too.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late.” -Marie Beynon Ray (1886 - 1969)

“Let’s get started while we’re still young!” -Author Unknown: words said by a man who was seventy-five years of age

We are MFOL! . . . and by choosing to make ‘someday’ into ‘today,’ we can make the future even greater than the present . . .

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Meeting and Parting

1/11/2021

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Most things in life start with hello . . .

“Be the first to say hello to others. You will have a happier day.” -Author Unknown

“A simple hello could lead to a million things.” -Author Unknown

Lucy: So, how are you today?
Anne: Just ducky!

“Why can’t we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn’t work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.” -Charles M. Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000))

‘Cheerio!’ is a way of saying at once ‘goodbye’ and ‘be of good cheer.’

Goodbyes

Goodbyes are not forever,
     Goodbyes are not the end -
They simply mean I’ll miss you,
     Until we meet again.

by Author Unknown

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howie.
Howie, who?
I’m fine. Howie you?

“Don’t be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936)): “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah” (1977), chapter 18

Matthew: How are you?
Luke: Too blessed to be stressed!

Meeting and Parting Without Physical Contact and Spoken Words Optional
- Bowing.
- Curtsying.
- Hand gesturing such as the Hippie ‘peace sign.’
- Hand waving.
- Hat tipping.
- Head nodding.
- Saluting.
Can you add to this list?

When asked how to make goodbyes less sad and scary, our first thought was, ice cream! But maybe better answers exist. Can you think of some?

“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” – Paulo Coelho

Cassidy: What did the buffalo say when his son went off to college?
Cassandra: “Bison!”

The proper response to the Irish greeting, “Top of the morning to you,” is “And the rest of the day to yourself.”

Elma: Hi, how are you?
Bert: Better and better!

It was the briefest of encounters, so I quickly said, “Hello - and goodbye!”

Elvis: How ya’ doin’?
Sonny: Feelin’ groovy!

Overheard: If you see me getting smaller, it means I’m leaving.

An Irish Blessing

May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
And the rain fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

by Author Unknown

The word ‘goodbye’ is a contraction of the Old English phrase, ‘God be by ye,’ which roughly translates to Modern English as, ‘May God be with you.’

Al: How are you, my friend?
Vin: I’m doing swimmingly!

‘So-long’ is derived from the Arabic ‘salaam’ and the Hebrew ‘shalom,’ which roughly translate to English as, ‘peace unto you.’

How are you?
- About average.
- Couldn’t be better.
- Fair to partly cloudy.
- Fit as a fiddle.
- Good.
- Just peachy
- Marvelous.
- Not bad.
- Outstanding.
- Perfect.
- Pretty good.
- Spectacular.
- Super!
So, how are you today?

Merry may we meet,
     Merry may we be together,
Merry may we part.
     And merry meet again.
-Author Unknown

Thomas Edison coined the word ‘hello’ and introduced it as a way to answer the telephone. This begs the question, what did people commonly say in greeting each other before ‘hello’ was invented?

Carpenter Bob: How are you?
Tailor Jill: Just sew-sew!

“I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, ‘I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.’ I said, ‘I am.’” -Demetri Martin (Demetri Evan Martin (born 1973))

Animal Theme Meeting Lines
- How do you do, kangaroo?
- What’s the word, mocking bird?
Can you think of others?

Jody: What do wolves say when they are introduced?
Cody: “Howl do you do?”

“The two hardest things to say in life are hello for the first time and goodbye for the last.” -Moira Rogers (pseudonym of writing team Bree Bridges and Donna Herren)

“When I feel threatened, vulnerable, or insecure, whether it is from simply walking into a room of unknown people, meeting someone for the first time, an unexpected or expected confrontation, or doing something new, I affirm in my mind (over and over): There is no danger, there is no threat. From there, the discomfort lessens and I become open for discovery and adventure.” -Charles F. Glassman (born 1959): “Brain Drain: The Breakthrough That Will Change Your Life” (2009)

“Fare thee well.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Antony and Cleopatra” (1606 - 1607), Act 4, scene 4

Fare thee well! and if forever,
Still forever, fare thee well.
-Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824)): “Fare Thee Well” (1816), stanza 1

“Good-bye is always hello to something else.” -George Ella Lyon (born 1949): “Borrowed Children” (March 1988)

The custom of shaking hands began in ancient times when strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed and had no ill intent.

“So long, and thanks for all the fish!” -Douglas Adams (Douglas Noel Adams (1952 - 2001))

“There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.” -Author Unknown

Alex: Morning glory.
Felix: Evening grace.

“Take me to your leader.” -Unidentified Space Alien: line from a science fiction movie

Good-night, good-night! parting is such sweet sorrow
That I shall say good-night till it be morrow.
-William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Romeo and Juliet” (1595), Act II, scene ii

“We only part to meet again.” -John Gay (1685 - 1732)

Animal Theme Parting Lines
- Adieu, cockatoo!
- Adios, hippos!
- After a while, crocodile!
- Be well, speedy snail!
- Better shake, rattlesnake!
- Bye-bye, butterfly!
- Can’t stay, blue jay.
- Don’t meander, salamander!
- Good wishes, jellyfishes!
- Goodbye, dragonfly!
- Goodbye, fruit fly!
- Gotta go, buffalo!
- Hasta mañana, iguana!
- Hit the road, hoppy toad!
- See you later, alligator!
- See you soon, hairy baboon!
- See you soon, raccoon!
- See you then, penguin!
- So long, King Kong!
- Stay well, gazelle!
- Take care, grizzly bear!
- Take care, polar bear!
- Ta-ta, chihuahua!
- Toodle-oo, kangaroo!
- Tout de suite, parakeet!
- Until then, little red hen!

Cool Cat: How are things?
Hot Dog: Dyn-o-mite, baby.

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” -A. A. Milne (Alan Alexander Milne (1882 - 1956)): “Winnie the Pooh” (1926)

Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves when they rode past their king. This custom has become the modern military salute.

Logic: How are you?
Reason: I exist.

“Sometimes you have to find the good in goodbye.” -Author Unknown

Anne: How are you getting along?
Gus: Fair to midlin’.

“It is generally agreed that ‘Hello’ is an appropriate greeting because if you entered a room and said ‘Goodbye,’ it could confuse a lot of people.” -Dolph Sharp (born 1914)

“All farewells should be sudden.” -Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824)): “Sardanapalus” (1821), act V

Velma: How are things in the fast-paced business world?
Wilma: I’m just about breakin’ even.

“This is not goodbye, it’s just goodnight.” -Alan Freed (1922 - 1965): signature sign-off as a radio announcer

Jean: How are you?
Gene: Everything’s copacetic!*
*copacetic (koh-puh-SET-ik), adjective: satisfactory; fine.

“Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet again in life.” -Jean Paul Richter (1763 - 1825): as attributed in “The Pulpit Treasury” (March 1884)

‘CU L8R’ is an abbreviation for ‘See you later.’

“A friend bought a new wig before going on holiday, so I got him a comb as a parting gift.” -Author Unknown

We’ll meet again,
Don’t know where, don’t know when,
But I know we’ll meet again,
Some sunny day.
-Vera Lynn

The phrase ‘long time no see’ is believed to be a literal translation of a Native American or Chinese phrase as it is not grammatically correct.

Suzette: Y’all come back real soon now, ya hear?
Angus: You mean, like, right now?
Suzette: No, like, later!
Angus: Well, then . . . how about right now, is that later enough?

“‘It is never good dwelling on good-byes,’ she said. ‘It is not the being together that it prolongs, it is the parting.’” -Elizabeth Charlotte Lucy Bibesco (also known as Princess Bibesco, Elizabeth Asquith, and Elizabeth Bibesco; born Elizabeth Charlotte Lucy Asquith (1897 - 1945))

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Willy.
Willy, who?
Willy good to see you today, my friend!

What does it mean to ‘always leave on a high note’? It means to always leave people wanting more by saying uplifting or humorous words when you are on the way out.

“To all, to each, a fair good-night, and pleasing dreams, and slumbers light.” -Walter Scott (1771 - 1832)

Smokey Bear: See ya later!
Woodsy Owl: Owl be seeing you!

‘Håfa adai’ (pronounced approximately like ‘half a day’ but leaving out the ‘l’ sound in ‘half’) is an expression for ‘hello’ in the native Chamorro language of the island of Guam and the Northern Marianas, both of which are in the Mariana islands chain. The literal translation is ‘what friend’ and the expression is sometimes informally shortened to just ‘håfa.’

Is sticking out your tongue an acceptable way to greet people or to say goodbye to people?

‘Ciao’ (pronounced as ‘chow’) is an Italian expression that can be said to people both at meeting and at parting.

Similarly, the word ‘aloha’ (pronounced as ‘uh-loh-uh or ‘ah-loh-hah’) is Hawaiian for both ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye.’

Roseanne: How are you?
Marianne: I’m doing my best!

Overheard: I like smiling and waving at random strangers, because then they will spend the rest of the day trying to figure out who the mysterious person was that waved at them.

May your hellos outnumber your goodbyes as you continue on your journey . . . and may you never forget to ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ . . .

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Minimalism and Extravagance

1/7/2021

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Between the minimalistic one-eyed smiley face and the extravagant three-eyed smiley face, we find the just-right two-eyed smiley face . . .

“Simple pleasures are life’s greatest treasures.” -Author Unknown

“Never make anything simple and efficient when it can be complex and wonderful.” -Author Unknown

“Some people want a big house, a fast car, and lots of money. Some people want a tiny cabin in the woods away from those kinds of people.” -Author Unknown

“There is no need to have it all, just make the best of what you have.” -Author Unknown

“Less is more.” -Robert Browning (1812 - 1889): “Men and Women” (1855), ‘Andrea del Sarto’; quotation often misattributed to Ludwig Mies van der Rohe (born Maria Ludwig Michael Mies (1886 - 1969)) and others

“Less is a bore.” -Robert Venturi

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” -Will Rogers (William Penn Adair ‘Will’ Rogers (1879 - 1935))

“There is one advantage to having nothing, it never needs repair.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))

“Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.” -Charles Dudley Warner (1829 - 1900)

“Seek simplicity and distrust it.” -Alfred Whitehead (Alfred North Whitehead (1861 - 1947))

“It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease. Hack away at the inessentials.” -Bruce Lee (pseudonym of Lee Jun Fan (1940 - 1973))

“You never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough.” -William Blake (1757 - 1827): “The Marriage of Heaven and Hell” (1790 - 1793), ‘Proverbs of Hell’

“To simplify complications is the first essential of success.” -George Earle Buckle

“All the good things of the world are no further good to us than they are of use; and of all we may heap up we enjoy only as much as we can use, and no more.” -Daniel Defoe (born Daniel Foe (1659 - 1731))

“We can never have enough of that which we really do not want.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)

“Anything simple always interests me.” -David Hockney

“Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“The greatest wealth is to live content with little, for there is never want where the mind is satisfied.” -Lucretius (Titus Lucretius Carus (about 99 B.C.E. - about 55 B.C.E.))

“Life is beautiful in its simplicity.” -Thomas Matthiessen

“We go on multiplying our conveniences only to multiply our cares. We increase our possessions only to the enlargement of our anxieties.” -Anna C. Brackett (born 1836)

“Out of intense complexities intense simplicities emerge.” -Author Unknown

“Any half-awake materialist well knows - that which you hold, holds you.” -Tom Robbins (Thomas Eugene ‘Tom’ Robbins (born 1932)): “Still Life with Woodpecker” (1980)

“Details are all there are.” -Maezumi Roshi

“I like to go to Marshall Field’s in Chicago just to see how many things there are in the world that I do not want.” -Mother Mary Madeleva: “My First Seventy Years” (1959)

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” -Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 17): “The Meditations” (C.E. 167), Book VII, 67

“A lean horse runs a long race.” -Edgar Barzellai Howell

“The things you really need are few and easy to come by; but the things you can imagine you need are infinite, and you will never be satisfied.” -Epicurus (341 B.C.E. - 270 B.C.E.)

“Anything can be made to appear simple just by refusing to see the complexities.” -Author Unknown

“The less you possess, the freer you are.” -Author Unknown

“The trouble with simple living is that, though it can be joyful, rich, and creative, it isn’t simple.” -Doris Janzen Longacre (born 1940)

“You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need.” -Vernon Howard (born 1918)

“A little is as much as a lot, if it is enough.” -Steve Brown

“Truly, whoever possesses little is that much less possessed: praised be a little poverty!” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900): “Thus Spoke Zarathustra” (1885)

“I like to walk about amidst the beautiful things that adorn the world; but private wealth I should decline, or any sort of personal possessions, because they would take away my liberty.” -George Santayana (Jorge Agustín Nicolás Ruiz de Santayana y Borrás (1863 - 1952)): “Soliloquies in England and Later Soliloquies” (1922), ‘The Irony of Liberalism’

Overheard: I can’t get enough minimalism.

“Beware of the man who won’t be bothered with details.” -William A. Feather (William Arthur Feather (1889 - 1981))

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” -Leonardo Da Vinci (1452 - 1519)

“I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them.” -John Stuart Mill (1806 - 1873)

“There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936))

“Every increased possession loads us with a new weariness.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“You never know what you can do without until you try.” -Franklin Pierce Adams (1881 - 1960): as quoted in Louis E. Boone, editor: “Quotable Business” (1992)

“That state of life is most happy where superfluities are not required and necessities are not wanting.” -Plutarch (C.E. 46 - C.E. 120))

“Simplicity involves unburdening your life, and living more lightly with fewer distractions that interfere with a high quality life, as defined uniquely by each individual.” -Linda Breen Pierce (born 1947)

“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction.” -E. F. Schumacher (Ernst Friedrich ‘Fritz’ Schumacher (1911 - 1977))

“Contentment comes not so much from great wealth as from few wants.” -Epictetus (about C.E. 55 - C.E. 135)

“It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.” -Lucius Annaeus Seneca (also known as Seneca the Younger or simply as Seneca (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“Simplicity is a great virtue but it requires hard work to achieve it and education to appreciate it.” -Edsger W. Dijkstra (Edsger Wybe Dijkstra (1930 - 2002)): “On the Nature of Computing Science” (1984)

“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1900 - 1944)

“The road to minimalism: Give away one thing each day, whether it’s a paperclip or an article of clothing, until you have reached an amount of possessions you need to function in life, and then stop because there’s no sense in also giving away what you need in order to live a life and to function in society.” -Author Unknown

“To get more out of life, start by eliminating everything that is nonessential.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“The consumption society has made us feel that happiness lies in having things, and has failed to teach us the happiness of not having things.” -Elise Boulding (born 1920)

“If one’s life is simple, contentment has to come. Simplicity is extremely important for happiness. Having few desires, feeling satisfied with what you have, is very vital: satisfaction with just enough food, clothing, and shelter to protect yourself from the elements.” -14th Dalai Lama (Tenzin Gyatso (born 1935 as Lhamo Thondup))

“Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves.” -Edwin Way Teale (born 1899)

“The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.” -Lin Yutang (1895 - 1976)

“Simplicity is an acquired taste. Mankind, left free, instinctively complicates life.” -Katharine Fullerton Gerould (born 1879)

“Nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little.” -Epicurus (341 B.C.E. - 270 B.C.E.)

“Who lives content with little possesses everything.” -Boileau

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” -Confucius (a fifteenth-century Portuguese Jesuit scholars’ rendering of the Chinese name K’ung Fu-tzu or K’ung Ch’iu into Classical Latin (English: Master K’ung) (about 551 B.C.E. - about 479 B.C.E.))

“Fools ignore complexity. Pragmatists suffer it. Some can avoid it. Geniuses remove it.” -Alan Perlis

“It is preoccupation with possession, more than anything else, that prevents men from living freely and nobly.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

“There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910))

“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.” -Socrates (470 B.C.E. - 399 B.C.E.)

“The great artist is the simplifier.” -Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821 - 1881)

“It is the heart that makes a man rich. He is rich according to what he is, not according to what he has.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887)

“If it doesn’t add to your life, it doesn’t belong in your life.” -Author Unknown

“Purity and simplicity are the two wings with which man soars above the Earth and all temporary nature.” -Thomas à Kempis (1380 - 1471)

“Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” -Lao Tzu (about 604 B.C.E. - about 531 B.C.E.)

“To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

“My riches consist, not in the extent of my possessions, but in the fewness of my wants.” -Joseph Brotherton (born 1783)

“If your mind isn’t clouded by unnecessary things, then this is the best season of your life.” -Wumen Huikai (also known as Wu-Men (C.E. 1183 - C.E. 1260))

“I have everything, yet have nothing; and although I possess nothing, still of nothing am I in want.” -Publius Terentius Afer (also known as Terence (185 B.C.E. - 159 B.C.E.))

“Everything is simpler than you think and at the same time more complex than you can imagine.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“All the books extolling the simple life are written by men.” -William A. Feather (William Arthur Feather (1889 - 1981))

“The awkward richness of possibilities seems to shatter any possible coherent theory of simplicity.” -Slobkin

“Only great minds can afford a simple style.” -Stendhal (Marie-Henri Beyle (1783 - 1842))

“Simplicity is the most difficult thing to secure in this world; it is the last limit experience and the last effort of genius.” -George Sand (born 1804)

“Simplicity is the key to brilliance.” -Bruce Lee (pseudonym of Lee Jun Fan (1940 - 1973))

“You uncover what is when you get rid of what isn’t.” - R. Buckminster Fuller

“The man who has begun to live more seriously within begins to live more simply without.” -Ernest Hemingway (Ernest Miller Hemingway (1899 - 1961)): as quoted in Laurence J. Peter: “The Peter Pyramid”

“All that is complex is useless and all that is useful is simple.” -Author Unknown

“Genius is the ability to reduce the complicated to the simple.” -C. W. Ceran

“With a few flowers in my garden, half a dozen pictures and some books, I live without envy.” -Lope de Vega (born 1562)

“The simplest things are often the truest.” -Richard Bach (born 1936)

“The intention of voluntary simplicity is not to dogmatically live with less. It’s a more demanding intention of living with balance. This is a middle way that moves between the extremes of poverty and indulgence.” -Duane Elgin (born 1937)

This is MFOL! . . . a website so simple that even adults can figure it out . . .

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Riddles and Puzzles

12/31/2020

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Riddle: What do you get if you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a terrier?
Solution: A hot-diggity-dog!

Riddle: What asks no question but demands an answer?
Solution: A telephone.

Riddle: What do cars, trees, and elephants all have in common?
Solution: They all have trunks.

Do you enjoy riddles and puzzles? Well, then, you have come to the right place. We think you will have a lot of fun pondering these mini-mysteries.

Riddle: What can you hold without touching?
Solution: Your breath.

Riddle: What do you get if you cross a cat and a parrot?
Solution: A carrot.

Riddles are of two types.
- Enigmas, which are problems generally expressed in metaphorical or allegorical languages, and which require ingenuity and careful thinking for their solution.
- Conundrums, which are questions relying for their effects on punning in either the question or in the answer.

Riddle: What is brown and sticky?
Solution: A stick.

Riddle: What can you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?
Solution: A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush.

Puzzles are games, toys, or problems designed to test skill, ingenuity, or knowledge. Examples of puzzles are crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, and mazes.

Riddle: What do you get if you cross a porcupine with a sheep?
Solution: An animal that knits its own sweaters.

Riddle: I follow you everywhere you go. Who am I?
Solution: I am your shadow.

English journalist Arthur Wayne is credited with being the inventor of the modern crossword. The diamond-shaped puzzle appeared in the “New York World” newspaper on 21 December 1913.

Crossword Compiler

A crossword compiler named Moss,
Who found himself quite at a loss,
     When asked, “Why so blue?”
     Said, “I haven’t a clue -
I’m 2 Down to put 1 Across.”

by Author Unknown

When the first book of crossword puzzles was published, the creator received $500 down and $300 across.

Riddle: What flies without wings?
Solution: Time.

Riddle: What is better than the best thing and worse than the worst thing?
Solution: Nothing.

Riddle: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
Solution: Kittens.

Riddle: What has two arms, two wings, two tails, three heads, three bodies, and eight legs?
Solution: A man on a horse holding a chicken.

Riddle: Why are lost items always in the last place you look?
Solution: Because when you find them, you stop looking.

Riddle: Your mother’s brother’s only brother-in-law is building a rowboat. Who is building a rowboat?
Solution: Your father.

Riddle: What has a man’s name, is as small as a mouse, and wears a red vest?
Solution: A robin.

Ed: Pete and Repeat were sitting on a log and Pete fell off - who was left?
Fred: Repeat.
Ed: Pete and Repeat were sitting on a log and Pete fell off - who was left?
Fred: Repeat.
Ed: Pete and Repeat . . .

Riddle: What belongs to you but is used more often by others?
Solution: Your name.

Riddle: Which is faster, heat or cold?
Solution: Heat, because people can catch a cold.

Riddle: What goes up and down without moving?
Solution: Stairs.

Riddle:
Proprietors of an ice cream shop want to host a giveaway day to boost business. To avoid large crowds, however, they do not want to advertise the free ice cream cone day broadly. Instead, they post three clues as to the date.
1. The giveaway will be in the first week of a month without an ‘a’ in it.
2. It will be on a day of the week that has a ‘u’ in it.
3. The month has no ‘e’ but the day of the week has an ‘e.’
Can you figure out when to go for a free cone?
Solution:
The first Tuesday in July is free ice cream day.

Riddle: I have a face and two hands; what am I?
Solution: A clock.

Riddle: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
Solution: One has claws at the end of its paws, and one is a pause at the end of a clause.

Riddle: What is so fragile that it can be broken just by the sound of someone speaking?
Solution: Silence.

Riddle: What does the following tell you about Calvin?
○ Appreciated
○ Calvin
○ Weight
Solution: Calvin is ‘underappreciated’ and ‘overweight.’

Riddle: What five-letter word becomes shorter when two letters are added to it?
Solution: Short.

Riddle: Joe was asked how many ducks he had seen. He answered, “As they ran along a path, I saw one duck in front of two ducks, a duck behind two ducks, and a duck between two ducks.” How many ducks did Joe see?
Solution: Joe saw three ducks, running along a path in single file.

Riddle: If you take away the whole, some still remains - what is it?
Solution: Wholesome.

Riddle: What can you not keep until you have given it?
Solution: Your word.

Riddle: How can you arrange for two people to stand on the same piece of newspaper and yet be unable to touch each other without stepping off the newspaper?
Solution: Slide the newspaper half way under a closed door and ask the two people to stand on the part of the newspaper on their side of the door.

Riddle: Forward I am heavy, but backward I am not. What am I?
Solution: Forward I am ‘ton,’ backwards I am ‘not.’

Riddle: What question can someone ask all day long, always get completely different answers, and yet all the answers could be correct?
Solution: “What time is it?”

Riddle: David’s father has three sons; two of them are John and William; what is the name of David’s father’s third son?
Solution: David.

Riddle: What can swallow you if you do not swallow it first?
Solution: Pride.

Riddle: What gets bigger the more you take away?
Solution: A hole.

Riddle: Two legs sat upon four legs eating one leg. In came four legs - and out went four legs with one leg. Close behind was two legs, without one leg, shaking four legs at four legs.
Solution: A person sat on a chair eating a chicken leg. In comes a dog - and out it went with the chicken leg. Close behind was the person, without the chicken leg, shaking the chair at the dog.

Riddle: I run around but never race, my hands are always on my face, I cannot count very many numbers, you hit me and I let you slumber - what am I?
Solution: An alarm clock.

Riddle: What stays hot even if you put it in the refrigerator?
Solution: Pepper.

Riddle: What part of you disappears when you stand up?
Solution: Your lap.

Riddle: Name three things that have eyes but that cannot see.
Solution: Sewing needles, storms, and potatoes.

Riddle: What has no fingers, but many rings?
Solution: A tree.

Riddle: What has one eye but cannot see?
Solution: A needle.

Riddle: Four legs sat on four legs waiting for four legs to come out of its hole.
Solution: A cat sat on a chair waiting for a mouse to come out of its hole.

Riddle: What is white when it is dirty and black when it is clean?
Solution: A chalkboard (blackboard).

On a shopping trip with a credit card loaned to him by a foreigner, a politician bought a 24-piece jigsaw puzzle. He worked on it every evening for two weeks. Finally, the puzzle was finished. “Look at what I’ve done, Jim,” he said proudly to a campaign staffer. “That’s surely something, Joseph. How long did it take you to finish it?” “Only two weeks.” “Never done a puzzle myself,” Jim said. “Is two weeks fast?” “You bet,” Joseph said. “Look at the box. It says, ‘From two to four years.’”

Riddle: What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
Solution: They both live underground, apart from the eagle.

Riddle: I work only after I have been fired. Who am I?
Solution: I am a rocket.

Riddle: Why did Beethoven not finish the “Unfinished Symphony”?
Solution: Because the Unfinished Symphony was started by Schubert, not Beethoven.

Riddle: What room is never entered?
Solution: A mushroom.

Riddle: What never was and never will be?
Solution: A mouse’s nest in a cat’s ear.

Riddle: A man built a house with all four sides facing south. A bear walked past the house. What color is the bear?
Solution: The bear is a white polar bear, and the house is at the North Pole.

Riddle: What is the first thing you know?
Solution: “The first thing you know, Old Jed’s a millionaire. The kin folks said, ‘Jed, move away from there!’”

Riddle: What is the biggest room in the world?
Solution: Room for improvement.

Polly: What is the difference between ‘ignorance’ and ‘apathy?’
Esther: ‘I do not know,’ and ‘I do not care’!
Polly: You answered correctly!

Riddle: What do you find in the middle of nowhere?
Solution: The letter ‘h.’

Riddle: What did the eye say to the ear?
Solution: Do you hear what I see, hear what I see, hear what I see?

“Do I rue a life wasted doing crosswords? No, but I do know the three-letter-word for regret.” -Robert Brault

Riddle: What is easy to get into but hard to get out of?
Solution: Trouble.

Riddle: The more you take, the more you leave behind - what is it?
Solution: Footsteps.

Riddle: If a north-facing rooster was sitting at the point of the roof of a building on the Earth’s equator at exactly 12:00 noon, and laid an egg, which side of the roof would the egg roll down?
Solution: Roosters do not lay eggs, you silly goose - hens lay eggs!

“If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog? Five? No - calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.” -Abraham Lincoln

Riddle: What is the difference between an onion and an oboe?
Solution: Nobody cries when you chop up an oboe.

Riddle: If leather makes good shoes, what do banana skins make?
Solution: Good slippers!

Puzzle Poem

When it’s boring
     Because of rainy weather
Nothing’s so fun as
     Putting a puzzle together.

by Author Unknown

Riddle: What has four legs and feathers?
Solution: A featherbed.

Riddle: Brian’s mom has four children. The first was a boy named Jerry. The second was a girl named Susan. The third was a boy called Robert, and the fourth was another boy. What was his name?
Solution: Brian.

Riddle: What has four legs but no feet?
Solution: A table.

Jigsaw Puzzle fans are called ‘dissectologists’ and have a society called the Benevolent Confraternity of Dissectologists.

Riddle: What has to be broken before it can be used?
Solution: An egg.

Math Problem: $21 in one-dollar bills is split evenly among two fathers and two sons. How is this possible?
Solution: There are only three people: a grandfather, a father, and the father’s son, who each receive $7.

Riddle: What has six legs, four eyes, and five ears?
Solution: A man sitting on a horse eating an ear of corn.

Riddle: What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?
Solution: A dressmaker sews what she gathers, and a farmer gathers what he sows.

“The nice thing about doing a crossword puzzle is, you know there is a solution.” -Stephen Sondheim

In 2008, 15,000 enthusiasts took five hours to assemble the world’s largest puzzle, in Ravensburg, Germany. It had 1,141,800 pieces and measured 65 feet by 98 feet.

Riddle: What has no beginning or end or middle, and touches every continent?
Solution: The ocean.

Riddle: How can you tell when an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
Solution: By the footprints in the butter.

This is MFOL! . . . most puzzling indeed . . .

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Stress and Anxiety

12/28/2020

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“Stress does nothing but change reality into a big bad wolf while making us feel like little piggies.” -Author Unknown

“Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.” -Lily Tomlin (born 1939)

“There are two times when I feel stress - day and night.” -Author Unknown

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” -Lou Holtz (Louis Leo ‘Lou’ Holtz (born 1937))

“In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.” -Lee Iacocca

“Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.” -Walter Anderson (born 1944)

Stress can cause headaches, as the body reacts by rerouting blood flow to other parts of the body, in preparation for survival through the instinctive fight or flight mechanism.

“If you feel like you’re losing everything, remember trees lose their leaves every year, and they stand tall and wait for better days to come.” -Author Unknown

Recognize Stressors
- Chaotic surroundings and disruptive people.
- Noises, particularly startling and alarming noises.
- Vibrations or swaying from under our feet or objects such as machinery.
- Lights that are too bright, too dim, flickering, flashing, or unnaturally colored.
- Smells, including offensive odors and air pollutants.
- Constant dealings with strange, hostile, or abnormal people.
- Lack of familiar and comfortable stimuli, particularly that found in nature, in friendship, in a good home, and in a good work environment.
- Having no place to ‘get away from it all’ in order to de-stress.
- Having no plans or workable ideas for dealing with difficult circumstances and difficult people.
- Being mistreated by people, as for example, being bullied, being lied to, being lied about, being blamed, or being ridiculed.
- Maladaptive methods for attempting to deal with stress can create additional stress, as for example, overeating, withdrawing from all human contact, or turning to electronic devices for comfort.
Can you think of other stressors that should go into this list?

“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.” -Lily Tomlin (born 1939)

Chronic stress floods the brain with powerful hormones that are meant for short-term emergency situations. However, chronic exposure is also believed to damage, shrink, and rapidly age brain cells.

“Anxiety is the rust of life, destroying its brightness and weakening its power. A childlike and abiding trust in Providence is its best preventive and remedy.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 22

During stress, eye pupils dilate, which is referred to as ‘mydriasis,’ to gather more visual information about a situation. This is one of the many automatic, or instinctual, actions built into us to ensure survival.

“If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine.” -Morris West

The word ‘stress’ was originally an engineering term. It was adopted for use as a medical term by a scientist named Hans Selye. Mr. Selye found that lab rats became sulky and sickly when he upset them by trying to catch them by snatching at them and cornering them. This activity broke down their resistance to ailments. Because no medical term for this phenomenon existed in the 1930’s, he used the word ‘stress’ to describe it.

The word ‘stress’ is derived from the Latin word ‘stringere’ meaning ‘to draw tight.’

“The bow too tensely strung is easily broken.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): as attributed in Darius Lyman: “The Moral Sayings of Publius Syrus, a Roman Slave: from the Latin” (1856): “Sententiae,” Maxim 388

“You will soon break the bow if you keep it always stretched.” -Gaius Julius Phaedrus

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

While it is not true that stress turns hair gray, stress can cause hair loss. Telogen effluvium, the medical term for hair loss, can begin up to three months after a stressful event.

“Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes. Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day, you’re doing just fine.” -Charlotte Eriksson

“Nothing in human affairs is worth any great anxiety.” -Plato (about 427 B.C.E. - about 347 B.C.E.))

“Stress-Buster Tip: Do yourself a favor. Overlook at least two things today.” -M. J. Ryan

“If I knew what I was so anxious about, I wouldn’t be so anxious.” -Mignon McLaughlin (1913 - 1983)

The hyper-arousal of the body’s stress response system can lead to chronic insomnia.

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” -Sydney J. Harris (Sydney Justin Harris (1917 - 1986))

“I am pretty much 3 percent human and 97 percent stress.” -Author Unknown

“Anxiety is the interest paid on trouble before it is due.” -William R. Inge (William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954))

“The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.” -Thomas Paine

“When we are distressed, going outside for some fresh air, taking a walk in the park, or wandering deep into the woods quickens our attention, bringing us instantly into the present. Being outdoors provides mental space and clarity, allowing our bodies to relax and our hearts to feel more at ease. Putting ourselves in the midst of something greater than our personal dramas, difficulties and pain - as we do when we walk in the open plains, hike in rarefied mountain air, or ramble on an empty beach - can give us a sense of space and openness, lifting us out of our narrow selves. Similarly, gazing up at the vast night sky helps us see our problems and concerns with greater context and perspective. The natural world communicates its profound message: things are okay as they are; you are okay just as you are; simply relax and be present.” -Mark Coleman: “Awake in the Wild” (1 November 2006), page xv

“Forget the times of your distress, but never forget what they taught you.” -Herbert Gasser

“I read some article, which said that the symptoms of stress are impulse buying, eating too much, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That’s what I call a perfect day.” -Author Unknown

“You have probably heard of ‘contagious’ or ‘infectious’ smiles. There is a reason for this - when you smile, it tends to make others around you smile. Even in the most stressful times, a roomful of smiles can brighten everybody’s mood.” -Author Unknown

“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.” -Thich Nhat Hanh (born 1926)

“It is an experiment worth trying to be alone and to be quiet for a brief period every day. Under city conditions it may be difficult to carry out but most of us could do it if we tried. At any rate we should moderate the pace at which we are living. If we remain at high gear, at top pressure, we are bound to suffer from fatigue and strain.” -Robert J. McCracken

“Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.” -Walter Anderson (born 1944)

“The better work men do is always done under stress and at great personal cost.” -William Carlos Williams

“Nothing is more destined to create deep-seated anxieties in people than the false assumption that life should be free from anxieties.” -Fulton J. Sheen (Fulton John Sheen (1895 - 1979)

“Being on the tightrope is living. Everything else is just waiting.” -Karl Wallenda

“Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they’ve started.” -David Allen

“Never hurry; take plenty of exercise; always be cheerful, and take all the sleep you need and you may expect to be well.” -James F. Clarke

“Working towards your goals should be fun. Don’t get stressed because you don’t see results fast, enjoy the ride, because that’s where experience, knowledge, and value reside. If you are moving forward, it means you are already succeeding, so relax and cherish every moment. You will do more if you think it is fun; acknowledge that you are growing every step of the way. Remember that, whatever happens, it is worth it, because you are becoming a much better, more experienced, and more mature individual. There is nothing more rewarding than making your dreams come true and living the life of your dreams, thus, get going and never look back!” -John Hersey

“Without stress there is no growth.” -Author Unknown

“Sometimes the most urgent and vital thing you can do is take a complete rest.” -Author Unknown

“Help someone in distress and you lighten your own burden; the very joy of alleviating the sorrow of another is the lessening of one’s own.” -Fulton John Sheen (1895 - 1979): “On Being Human” (1982)

“Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.” -C. H. Spurgeon (Charles Haddon Spurgeon (1834 - 1892))

And when things start to happen,
Don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along.
You’ll start happening too.
-Dr. Seuss: “Oh, The Places You Will Go” (1990)

“Just because we’re in a stressful situation, doesn’t mean that we have to get stressed out. You may be in storm. The key is, don’t let the storm get in you.” -Joel Osteen

“Storms don’t last forever.” -Author Unknown

“Outer chaos, inner peace . . . all is well.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Even the darkest night will end and the Sun will rise.” -Victor Hugo: “Les Misérables” (1862)

Do you need an antidote to stress and anxiety? Laughing strengthens the immune system by releasing health-enhancing hormones such as cortisol, epinephrine, and adrenaline, which can lower stress.

“Don’t stress, just do your best.” -Author Unknown

When feeling overwhelmed, simply S.T.O.P.
Stop, or momentarily pause in whatever you are doing.
Take a slow, deep breath.
Observe your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations.
Proceed with a one-simple-thing focus.
-Author Unknown

Bad stress is believed to make people physically sick from its resulting headaches, muscle fatigue, lowered immune system response, and increased susceptibility to infections and diseases. Bad stress is believed to make people mentally sick from its resulting anxiety, worry, depression, and troubled thoughts. Stress is believed to degrade our entire systems. We become like trapped animals - trapped in circumstances by bad stress, we instinctively try every means to escape, and finding none, we wear ourselves down and tire ourselves out, exhausting ourselves and yet failing to recognize that it is the bad stress that is harming our bodies and minds.

How to Stress Less

1. Focus on what you can control.
2. Go for a walk.
3. Make something.
4. Talk to friends and family.
5. Breath.
6. Look for new opportunities.
7. Exercise.
8. Treat yourself.
9. Daydream.
10. Change your daily routine.
11. Go to bed earlier.
12. Smile more often.

by Author Unknown

“Stressed spelled backwards is desserts.” -Loretta Laroche

Did you know that stress can make you fatter? Stress can make losing weight and maintaining the right weight much harder. Why? Because when we are stressed, we instinctively eat more foods and foods high in calories in order to build up our energy, including our energy reserves that are stored as body fat, to be prepared for action. Unfortunately, these days there isn’t much action of the sort we were programmed for long ago, such as running from animals that want to eat us, or running to catch animals we want to eat. But there is good news! Laughing actually reduces stress, so get out there and do some serious laughing. Laughing allows people to live well and be healthier by handling stress better.

“In stressful times it’s okay to not be perfect. It’s okay to cut yourself some slack. Because right now, you might not be your best self. But you are growing, and you are trying your best, and that is good enough.” -Ashley Hetherington

This is MFOL! . . . where you can briefly withdraw from the deeply troubled world and the problems it imposes on your otherwise wonderful life . . .

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Questions and Queries

12/22/2020

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How can I get people to like me?

If you were to be trapped in a television show forever, which show would you choose?

Aren’t you just the cutest thing?

If you were a robot but did not know it, would you want people to tell you?

Where did you get that big, beautiful smile?

How can you know what you think until you speak so that you can hear what you have to say?

“It’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

If you were on the second floor of a three-story building, would you be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?

Would you tell me a true thing?

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

“I have become a question to myself.” [translation to English]
“Mihi quaestio factus sum.” [original Latin]
-Augustine of Hippo (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430): “Confessions” (about 397), X, 33

If we can make semi-conductors, can you just imagine what we could do if we made complete conductors?

What is the speed of dark?

Do you realize just how many holes there could be in the ground if people would just take the time to get a shovel and dig the dirt out of them?

What could possibly go wrong?

Why do British people not sound British when they sing?

Should Friday the 13th be made into a holiday?

If a chameleon was placed in a mirrored box, what color would it be - clear?

Why do we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

Why is it that when you walk up the stairs and you get to the top, you always think there is still one more step?

Is there a butterscotch flavored soft drink?

Everyone says it’s just Jim Dandy . . . but who is this Jim Dandy feller?

Is there something else you should be doing right now?

Does it seem that some people specialize in turning positives into negatives?

What did moths congregate around before campfires, torches, and light bulbs were invented?

Does killing time damage eternity?

Can we spell creativity any way we want to?

How old were you when you were born?

Why is a square meal served on a round plate?

If you could have picked your own name, what would it be?

What do penguins wear for play clothes?

Have you noticed that since everyone has a digital camera or a cell phone with a built-in camera these days, no one talks about seeing UFO’s and monsters and ghosts like they used to?

Who wants to go outside and play?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

If you joined the circus, what kind of performer would you want to be?

What do you think is the right age for marriage and why?

“You’ve got to ask! Asking is, in my opinion, the world’s most powerful - and neglected - secret to success and happiness.” -Percy Ross

Who is the funniest person in the world?

What things do you always carry with you in your pocket, purse, or wallet?

What just happened?

Whether you need the answer to a serious question or a silly question, call 1-334-844-4244 to reach the Foy Information Line at Auburn University in Auburn, Alabama, United States of America. The service is staffed by students, who try to answer questions on any subject, and is available during the school year, 24 hours a day Monday through Thursday and until 9:00 p.m. Friday through Sunday. Be sure to tell them you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Since there is a speed of light and a speed of sound, is there a speed of smell and a speed of taste?

What’s next?

Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?

Are we ever going to make it up this hill?

An average four-year-old child asks 437 questions a day. Have you asked even one question today?

Do you have all of your ducks in a row?

“Why do people park in driveways and drive on parkways?” -Larry Anderson

What are male ballerinas called?

“He who asks a question may be a fool for five minutes, but he who never asks a question remains a fool forever.” -Tom J. Connelly

What would love do now?

How many days are in a light year?

Do some people have a condition that makes it difficult for them to remember the good things that happen and easy to remember the bad things that happen?

Are adults just older children?

Can you name something that is not weird, odd, or unusual?

Why are highways built so close to the ground?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alex?
Alex, who?
Alex the questions around here!

Why hasn’t someone invented a bed that makes itself yet?

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

Question Everything.

Why do people go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?

Teacher: What if this was not a rhetorical question?
Student: What if this was not a hypothetical situation?

What do you like to do for fun?

A year from now, what will you wish you had done today?

“The word ‘question’ originates from the Latin root ‘quaestio’ meaning ‘to seek.’ Inside the word ‘question’ is the word ‘quest,’ suggesting that within every question is an adventure, a pursuit which can lead us to hidden treasure.” -Tom Wujec: “Five Star Mind” (1995)

“Since we have kneecaps, why do we not have elbowcaps to protect our funny bones?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If not you, who? If not now, when?” -Garry Herbert

How fast do you have to go to keep up with the Sun so that you are never in darkness?

“There are no foolish questions and no man becomes a fool until he has stopped asking questions.” -Charles Steinmetz (Charles Proteus Steinmetz (1865 - 1923))

If you could be any kind of animal, what would you want to be and why?

What is keeping you from doing the things you need to do?

Are there legitimate ways to earn money online?

“Asking silly questions now is better than correcting serious mistakes later.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Why is there one in every crowd?

If life is so wonderful and exciting and full of interesting people and places and things, then why are we all by ourselves looking at the screens of our electronic devices?

Why is France so far away?

At the end of the day, are you better off than you were at the start of the day?

Who has been the biggest influence on your life?

Why do we believe everything we see on the internet but question what The Bible says?

What is your favorite work of art?

Which is a sign of higher intelligence, asking questions, or not asking questions?

Sales Person: Be sure to ask me if you have any questions.
Customer: Sure thing . . . so do I have any questions?

“There are no foolish questions, only foolish silence.” -Author Unknown

What kind of place is this?

Which do you like more: scary movies, romantic movies, or comedy movies?

Why does this keep happening?

“Bromidic though it may sound, some questions don’t have answers, which is a terribly difficult lesson to learn.” -Katharine Graham (1917 - 2001)

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

What is the best advice you ever received?

“Ask the experienced rather than the learned.” -Author Unknown

Would you rather go shopping or sightseeing, and why?

If a thousand seagulls were in an airplane while it was flying, with each bird weighing two pounds, and all of them flying around inside the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2,000 pounds more?

Do you play a musical instrument?

If you could go back in time and speak to your younger self, what age would you choose and what would you say?

Why do we say an alarm is going off when it is actually turning on?

Would we all be better off if we refused to accept anything that was offered to us for free?

What is your favorite song?

If the Universe is expanding, why are parking spaces still so hard to find?

“If water had a flavor, what color would it sound like?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

What do you think is beyond the stars?

Wow, those were some challenging and difficult questions! Fortunately, the topic that follows below this one on MFOL! is much easier . . .

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Inquisitiveness and Curiosity

12/16/2020

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“Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness.” -Bryant McGill (born 1969)

“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” -Carl Edward Sagan (1934 - 1996)

“I would rather live in a world where life is surrounded by mystery, than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969): “Riverside Sermons” (1958)

Inquisitive Lad

There once was a boy of Bagdad,
An inquisitive sort of a lad.
He said, “I will see
If a sting has a bee.”
And he very soon found that it had!

by Author Unknown

“A good scientist is a person in whom the childhood quality of perennial curiosity lingers on. Once he gets an answer, he has other questions.” -Frederick Seitz (1911 - 2008)

Patrice: You’re a real curiosity - did you know that?
Shaun: Well, thank you, though I doubt if you shall ever solve me.

“The Quest Quotient has always interested me more than the Intelligence Quotient.” -Eugene S. Wilson (Eugene Smith ‘Bill’ Wilson, Junior (1905 - 1981)): as quoted in “Reader’s Digest” (April 1968)

“Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.” -James Stephens (1880 - 1950)

“Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton asked why.” -Bernard Baruch (1870 - 1965)

“Be curious always! For knowledge will not acquire you; you must acquire it.” -Sudie Back (Sudie Elizabeth Back Sattler (born 1973))

“I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“A generous and elevated mind is distinguished by nothing more certainly than an eminent degree of curiosity.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“She sat down in a weed patch, her elbows on her knees, and kept her eyes on the small mysterious world of the ground. In the shade and sun of grass blade forests, small living things had their metropolis.” -Nancy Price

“Leave no stone unturned.” -Euripides (484 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says: ‘Leave no stone unturned.’” -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)

“The true delight is in the finding out rather than in the knowing.” -Isaac Asimov (1919 - 1992)

“Look and you will find it - what is unsought will go undetected.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“Curiosity is a willing, a proud, an eager confession of ignorance.” -S. Leonard Rubinstein (Samuel Leonard Rubinstein (1922 - 2013)): “Writing: A Habit of Mind” (1972)

“Be aware of wonder. And then remember the, “Dick and Jane,” books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - look.” -Robert Fulghum (Robert Lee Fulghum (born 1937))

“Not to know is bad; not to wish to know is worse.” -Author Unknown

“Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (12 March 1751)

“There are two sorts of curiosity - the momentary and the permanent. The momentary is concerned with the odd appearance on the surface of things. The permanent is attracted by the amazing and consecutive life that flows on beneath the surface of things.” -Robert Lynd (Robert Wilson Lynd (1879 - 1949))

“Curiosity is the one thing invincible in nature.” -Freya Stark (Freya Madeline Stark (1893 - 1993))

“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.” -Author Unknown

“The greatest virtue of man is perhaps curiosity.” -Anatole France (pseudonym of Jacques Anatole François Thibault (1844 - 1924))

“Curiosity killed the cat.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in the “Los Angeles Times” (22 August 1901) newspaper

Overheard: ‘Curiosity killed the cat’ is a common saying, but until someone shows me the record of the incident, I shall be disinclined to believe it.

“The place where you lose the trail is not necessarily the place where it ends.” -Tom Brown, Junior (born 1950): “The Tracker” (1978)

Amy: Who crossed the road and left everyone wanting an explanation?
Eva: The chicken.

“The first and simplest emotion which we discover in the human mind, is curiosity.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

“Satisfaction of one’s curiosity is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life.” - Linus Pauling (1901 - 1994)

“Things that people learn purely out of curiosity can have a revolutionary effect on human affairs.” -Frederick Seitz (1911 - 2008): in an interview (3 September 1997) for the George C. Marshall Institute

A ‘clue’ originally meant a ball of thread . . . hence, one ‘unravels’ the clues of a mystery.

“Isn’t it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive - it’s such an interesting world. It wouldn’t be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There’d be no scope for imagination then, would there?” -L. M. Montgomery (Lucy Maud Montgomery (1874 - 1942)): “Anne of Green Gables” (June 1908), Chapter 2; line spoken by fictional character Anne

“The moment that one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious and awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.” -Henry Miller (Henry Valentine Miller (1891 - 1980))

“‘Curiouser and curiouser!’ cried Alice.” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Alice in Wonderland” (1865), Chapter II

This is MFOL! . . . the website for anyone who has ever been told that he or she is a real curiosity . . . which is, after all, what everyone is . . .

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Criticism

12/13/2020

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“Some people find fault like there’s a reward for it.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’re a mile away from them - and you have their shoes!” -Henny Youngman (Henry ‘Henny’ Youngman (1906 - 1998))

Critics

What one approves, another scorns,
     And thus his nature each discloses;
You find the rosebush full of thorns,
     I find the thornbush full of roses.

by Arthur Guiterman (1871 - 1943)

“The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch somebody else doing it wrong, without comment.” -Theodore H. White (1915 - 1986)

“I never criticize anyone. The way to develop the best that is in a man is by appreciation and encouragement.” -Charles Schwab (Charles Michael Schwab (1862 - 1939))

“I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.” -Marcus Tullius Cicero (also known as Tully or simply Cicero (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.))

Riddle: What is easier to give than receive?
Solution: Criticism.

“Never allow anyone to rain on your parade and thus cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day. Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the fault-finding business. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it. Your time is too precious to be sacrificed in wasted days combating the menial forces of hate, jealously, and envy. Guard your fragile life carefully. Only God can shape a flower, but any foolish child can pull it to pieces.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.” -Author Unknown

“The reason to not take things personally is to understand that what people say about you is a reflection of them, not you.” -Author Unknown

“Wink at small faults.” -John Clarke (1596 - 1658): “Proverbs: English and Latine” (1639)

“The sad part about life is that we tend to comment only on those who do it wrong and neglect to balance it with praise for those who do it right.” -Keith Ready

“Sandwich every bit of criticism between two thick layers of praise.” -Mary Kay Ash (born Mary Kathlyn Wagner (1918 - 2001))

“Much of what people attempt to pass off as criticism or even constructive criticism is actually condemnation and an effort to slight or wound or destroy another person. You must develop a hard protective shell around your essential self to stop the slings and arrows of the critical and judgmental people you will encounter throughout your lifetime.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one would find fault with what he had done.” -John Henry Newman (also known as Cardinal Newman (1801 - 1890))

The stones that critics hurl with harsh intent
     A man may use to build his monument.
-Arthur Guiterman (1871 - 1943)

“Long experience has taught me that to be criticized is not always to be wrong.” -Anthony Eden (Robert Anthony Eden (1897 - 1977)): in a speech at the Lord Mayor’s Guildhall banquet during the Suez crisis, as quoted in the “Daily Herald” (10 November 1956) newspaper

“The man who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away.” -Charles M. Schwab (Charles Michael Schwab (1862 - 1939))

“Criticism is a destroyer of self-worth and esteem.” -H. Burke Peterson (Harold Burke Peterson (1923 - 2013)): ‘Preparing the Heart,’ in “Ensign” (May 1990) magazine, page 83

“A critic is a gong at a railroad crossing clanging loudly and vainly as the train goes by.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))

“Criticizing another’s garden does not keep the weeds out of your own.” -Author Unknown

“I am not given to finding fault, for there are innumerable fools.” -Plato (about 427 - about 347 B.C.E.): “Protagoras”

“Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

“Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without comment is a wonderful social grace.” -Judith Martin (born 1938)

“Sometimes people try to expose what’s wrong with you because they can’t handle everything that’s right about you.” -Author Unknown

“Make it your habit not to be critical about small things.” -Edward Everett Hale (1822 - 1909): as quoted in Jessie K. Freeman and Sarah S. B. Yule, editors: “Thoughts Selected from the Writings of Favorite Authors” (1901)

“If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it.” -Author Unknown

“When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.” -Louis Nizer (1902 - 1994)

Hypercritical: Excessively and unreasonably critical, especially of small faults.

“He who fancies himself very enlightened, because he sees the deficiencies of others, may be very ignorant, because he has not studied his own.” -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)

“Pay no attention to what the critics say. A statue has never been put up in honor of a critic.” -Jean Sibelius (1865 - 1957)

“Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.” -Bill Nye (Edgar Wilson ‘Bill’ Nye (1850 - 1896)), referring to Richard Wagner

“What you dislike in another, take care to correct in yourself.” -Thomas Sprat (1635 - 1713)

“Criticism of others is futile and if you indulge in it often you should be warned that it can be fatal to your career.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

“Movie Critic: A person who gives the best jeers of his or her life to the theater.” -Author Unknown

“People who judge others are insecure about themselves.” -Author Unknown

“To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.” -Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1788))

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

“Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours burn any brighter.” -Author Unknown

“Do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing, and you’ll never be criticized.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 -1915)): as quoted in Bert Hubbard, compiler: “Elbert Hubbard’s Selected Writings,” Part 2 (1922): ‘John North Willys,’ page 335

“Judge not, that ye be not judged.” -Matthew: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Matthew,’ chapter 7, verse 1

“If we had no faults we should not take so much pleasure in noting those of others.” -Duc de Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)

“Court not the critic’s smile, nor dread his frown.” -Walter Scott (1771 - 1832)

“The most insignificant people are the most apt to sneer at others. They are safe from reprisals and have no hope of rising in their own self-esteem but by lowering their neighbors.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

“People who try to whittle you down are only trying to reduce you to their size.” -Author Unknown

“Criticism comes easier than craftsmanship.” -Zeuxis of Heraclea (464 B.C.E. - 400 B.C.E.)

“Don’t worry about what people say about you; they are busy finding faults in your life instead of fixing the faults in their own lives.” -Author Unknown

“Criticism is a life without risk.” -John Lahr (born 1941): “Light Fantastic: Adventures in Theatre” (1996)

“You can run with the big dogs or sit on the porch and bark.” -Wallace Arnold

“To find fault is easy; to do better may be difficult.” -Plutarch (C.E. 46 - C.E. 120)

“Our worst fault is our preoccupation with the faults of others.” -Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931): as quoted in Robin Waterfield, editor: “The Voice of Kahlil Gibran: An Anthology” (1995)

“Wouldn’t it be nice if we could find other things as easily as we find fault?” -Author Unknown

“It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“The man who is anybody and who does anything is surely going to be criticized, vilified, and misunderstood. This is part of the penalty for greatness, and every man understands, too, that it is no proof of greatness.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

Overheard: People who have time to point out others’ mistakes have time to do some work.

“Pay more attention to your Creator than your critics.” -Author Unknown

“No matter what you or anyone else does, there will be someone who says that there’s something bad about it. Whenever somebody comes up with a good idea, there’s somebody else who has never had a good idea in his life who stands up and says, ‘Oh, you can’t do that . . .’” -Tom Clancy (Thomas Leo ‘Tom’ Clancy, Junior (1947 - 2013))

“When one dog barks another will join it.” -Author Unknown

“Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940)

“Usually our criticism of others is not because they have faults, but because their faults are different than ours.” -Roger Eastman

Is there more to life than simply expressing likes and dislikes? Can you list ten things more fun and interesting to do than criticizing others?

“Restrain your tongues in criticism of others. It is so easy to find fault. It is so much nobler to speak constructively.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Those who can, do. Those who can’t, criticize.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

“Be a doer and not a critic.” -Tony Blair (Anthony Charles Lynton ‘Tony’ Blair (born 1953))

“Criticism does not make you smarter or better than the one you are criticizing. In fact, the stuff you are critical of in others is the same stuff you don’t like about yourself.” -Iyanla Vanzant (born 1953 as Rhonda Eva Harris)

“It is easier to pull down than to build up.” -Author Unknown

“He has never learned anything, and he can do nothing in decent style.” -Author Unknown: comment made by Beethoven’s teacher

“It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are, the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719)

“When we criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.” -Richard Carlson (1961 - 2006)

“Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember - the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“People criticized me. So I changed. But people still criticized me. So I changed more. And still people criticized me. Then finally I realized it’s what they will do, no matter what. And I changed once more, by no longer listening to those people.” -Brian Vaszily (Brian William Vaszily (born 1970))

“Criticisms are opinions that people attempt to state as something more than opinion. But they are nonetheless only opinions, and nothing more, and of no more value.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism.” -Charles Schwab (Charles Michael Schwab (1862 - 1939))

“Be an encourager. The world has plenty of critics already.” -Dave Willis

“‘Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,’ he told me, ‘just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages you’ve had.’” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)): “The Great Gatsby,” Chapter 1

“In reality, the world have payed too great a compliment to critics, and have imagined them men of much greater profundity than they really are.” -Henry Fielding (1707 - 1754): “Tom Jones” (1749), book 5, chapter 1

“The higher we soar, the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark up to no good.” -P. G. Wodehouse (Pelham Grenville Wodehouse (1881 - 1975))

“It is ridiculous for any man to criticize the works of another if he has not distinguished himself by his own performances.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719)

“Our souls may lose their peace and even disturb other people’s, if we are always criticizing trivial actions - which often are not real defects at all, but we construe them wrongly through our ignorance of their motives.” -Teresa of Ávila (born Teresa de Cepeda y Ahumada (1515 - 1582))

“When criticized, consider the source.” -Author Unknown

“Criticism is easy, and art is difficult.” [translation to English]
“La critique est aisée, et l’art est difficile.” [original French]
-Philippe Destouches (Philippe Néricault Destouches (1680 - 1754)): “Glorieux,” II, 5, as quoted in Kate Louise Roberts, editor: “Hoyt’s New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations” (1922), page 150

“If you are always finding fault, you will seldom find anything else.” -Author Unknown

“Answer them with silence and indifference. It works better, I assure you, than anger and argument.” -Gioacchino Rossini (Gioacchini Antonio Rossini (1792 - 1868)), commenting on critics

“Let he who is without fault cast the first stone.” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘John,’ chapter 8, verse 7

“The faults we find in others are our own.” -Author Unknown

“Anybody can point out anybody else’s bad qualities. If you want to distinguish yourself, go around pointing out good qualities.” -Author Unknown

“Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own.” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . a website put together by some folks who could have been clowns but who have no costumes - and also no talent for being clowns . . . how’s that for criticism?

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Golf

12/12/2020

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“Golf is a game in which you yell, ‘Fore!’ shoot six, and write down five.” -Paul Harvey (1918 - 2009): as quoted in Jack Mingo: “Wannabe Guide to Golf” (1997)

Two men were starting a game of golf. One man stepped up to the tee, and his first drive resulted in a hole-in-one. The other man stepped up to the tee and said, “Okay, now I’ll take my practice swing and then we’ll start the game.”

A golfer walked into the pro shop at a local course and asked the golf pro if they sold ball markers. The golf pro said they did, and they were $1.00 each. The guy gave the golf pro a dollar . . . The golf pro opened the register, put the dollar in, and handed the golfer a quarter coin.

What is the origin of the word ‘caddie’? When Mary, later to become Queen of Scots, went to France as a young girl, allegedly for education as well as survival, Louis, King of France, learned that she loved the Scot’s game called golf. So, for her enjoyment, he had the first golf course outside of Scotland built. To make sure she was properly chaperoned and guarded while she played, the kingly Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. Mary liked this a lot, and when she returned to Scotland, which may not have been a very good idea in the long run, she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced ‘ca-day,’ which the Scots changed to ‘caddie.’

“Caddies are people who are paid to enjoy the game of golf.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Golf balls have dimples to reduce drag, thus allowing them to fly further than perfectly smooth balls would. The dimples also give personality to the otherwise plain-looking spherical objects.

“Work: The thing that interferes with golf.” -Frank Dane

“William Howard Taft (1857 - 1930) was the first golfer to become an American President. If you work hard to improve your golf game, perhaps you too might one day become an American President.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.” -Thomas Mulligan

Before 1850, golf balls were made of leather and stuffed with feathers - no, we are not making this stuff up. Cattle and chickens once played an important role in the game of golf.

“Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.” -Jim Bishop

“One hundred years of experience had demonstrated that the game is temporary insanity practiced in a pasture.” -Dave Kindred

Margot: How do you fix a broken golf club?
Margaret: Try some putty.

“The proper score for a businessman golfer is 90. If he is better than that, he is neglecting his business. If he’s worse, he’s neglecting his golf.” -Author Unknown: attributed to a member of the Saint Andrews Rotary Club

“I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.” -David Brenner

“Absentee: A missing golfing accessory.” -Author Unknown

“Long ago, when primitive people screamed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called ‘witchcraft.’ When modern man does the same, they call it ‘golf.’” -Author Unknown

“‘Play it as it lies,’ is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. The other is, ‘Wear it if it clashes.’” -Henry Beard

“Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.” -Harry Vardon

Kay: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
Jay: Just in case he got a hole in one.

Hole in One

A golfer who hailed from Verdun
Was intent on not being outdone.
     To avoid any glitches,
     He carried spare britches
In case he got a hole in one.

by Author Unknown

“It is good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

Adam: I’d move Heaven and Earth to break my 110 score.
Dan: Try moving just Heaven. You’ve already moved plenty of earth.

“If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.” -Bob Hope (Leslie Townes Hope (1903 - 2003))

The Golfer

“Who’s that stranger, mother dear -
     Look, he knows us, ain’t that queer?”
“Hush, my own, don’t talk so wild;
     That’s your father, dearest child.”
“That’s my father? No such thing!
     Father died away last Spring.”
“Father didn’t die, you dub;
     Father joined a golfing club.
Now the place is closed, so he
     Has no place to go, you see.
No place left for him to roam,
     That is why he’s coming home.
Kiss him, he won’t bite you, child;
     All them golfing guys look wild.”

by Author Unknown: as published in “Boardwalk Illustrated News”

“Golf is a good walk spoiled.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

Laddie: What kind of shirts do golfers wear?
Lassie: Tee-shirts.

A schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. “Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?” she asked the instructor. “P-u-t-t is correct,” he replied. “Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing.”

“Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.” -P. J. O’Rourke

Overheard: The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you.

“Golf: Flog spelled backwards.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.” -Ben Hogan

“I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936))

“The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.” -P. G. Wodehouse (Pelham Grenville Wodehouse (1881 - 1975))

“If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.” -Jack Lemmon

The May 1990 issue of “Golf” magazine had good news for golf enthusiasts. It reported that Augusta National, the elite private golf course where the Masters tournament is held, would begin allowing public access to its course at certain times. As a result of this report, both Augusta National and “Golf” magazine received hundreds of calls from eager golfers inquiring about playing privileges. But the report was an April fool’s joke, despite its placement in the May issue. “Golf” magazine was forced to publish a retraction, reaffirming that Augusta National was still a private club open only to members and guests.

“Golf is the most useless outdoor game ever devised to waste the time and try the spirit of man.” -Westbrook Pegler

“When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf.” -Dave Stockton

“The aim of golf is to get the ball moving down the fairway and into the green or some such fool thing - and if your aim is exceptional, to knock honking geese, flying insects, buzzing airplanes, stalking drones, and spying satellites right out of the sky.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Misty: How golfers create divots.” -Author Unknown

“I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.” -Will Rogers (William Penn Adair ‘Will’ Rogers (1879 - 1935))

“Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.” -William Wordsworth (1770 - 1850)

“Golf is a puzzle without an answer. I’ve played the game for 40 years and I still haven’t the slightest idea how to play.” -Gary Player

Some people like to combine golf and messin’ with ’gators into a single sport. It can be tricky though, since alligators are known to play their game on the golf course by a completely different set of rules.

“The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish.” -Sam Snead, champion professional golfer

“Golf: A long walk punctuated by disappointments.” -Author Unknown

“Even if the ball was wrapped in bacon, Lassie couldn’t find it.” -Author Unknown: overheard from an Irish caddie, after a particularly bad shot

“Golf is 20 percent mechanics and technique. The other 80 percent is philosophy, humor, tragedy, romance, melodrama, companionship, camaraderie, cussedness, and conversation.” -Grantland Rice (1880 - 1954)

“As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.” -Ben Hogan

“It’s a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get.” -Arnold Palmer (Arnold Daniel Palmer (1929 - 2016))

“May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.” -Ben Hogan, referencing the Twenty-Third Psalm of the Bible

This is MFOL! . . . and we have invented our very own variation on the game of golf: we call it ‘goof’ and it is played with goofballs . . . or perhaps by goofballs . . . what’s that . . . golfers say we are not funny in the least . . .

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Anatomy and Physiology

12/10/2020

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Curious Young Gal

There was a young gal who said, “Why
Can’t I look in my ear with my eye?
     If I put my mind to it,
     I’m sure I can do it;
You never can tell till you try.”

by Author Unknown

Humans are bioluminescent, meaning we glow in the dark, but the light we emit is 1,000 times weaker than our human eyes are able to detect.

Gladys: What kind of advice do you get from hands?
Douglas: Finger tips.

Hair is made of the same substance as fingernails, but you cannot make that fun screeching sound that drives everyone bonkers by running your hair over a chalkboard; only your fingernails can do that.

The average person has 10,000 taste buds. Not all taste buds are on the tongue; about ten percent are on the insides of the cheeks. So, what does your tongue taste like?

Sit down and lift your right foot off the floor, and make clockwise circles. While doing this, draw the number 6 in the air with your right hand. Your foot will automatically change direction, and there is nothing you can do to stop it from doing so. Someone - and by someone we mean you - just kidding! - should investigate this phenomena to find out if it is in any way related to the rise in incidents of people hitting their accelerator pedals when they mean to hit their brake pedals, while driving a vehicle.

Nellie: What did one toe say to the other?
Stella: “Don’t look now, but I think we’re being followed by a heel.”

The normal human body temperature is about 37 degrees Celsius (about 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit). However, it is not uncommon for the temperature of some persons to be just slightly higher by as much as a degree due to their increased metabolism - particularly teenagers and young adults. As always, if you are concerned, seek a doctor’s opinion.

Becca: What has one foot on each end and a foot in the middle?
Becky: A yardstick.

The average human body contains enough iron to make a 3-inch nail, enough sulfur to kill all of the fleas on an average dog, enough carbon to make 900 pencils, enough potassium to fire a toy cannon, enough fat to make 7 bars of soap, enough phosphorous to make 2,200 match heads, and enough water to fill a ten-gallon tank.

Nonsense Poem

I’d rather have fingers than toes,
I’d rather have eyes than a nose;
     And as for my hair
     I’m glad it’s all there,
I’ll be awfully sad when it goes.

by Gelett Burgess (Frank Gelett ‘Gelett’ Burgess (1866 - 1951))

“Fingerprints serve another useful function besides helping law enforcement officers catch criminals: the tiny ridges provide traction for the fingers to grasp objects. Fingers are among the many ‘tools’ integrated into our bodies, making humans the ultimate Swiss Army knives of the animal kingdom.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

In addition to the better-known senses of hearing, sight, touch, smell, and taste, humans have at least fifteen other senses. These include balance, temperature, pain, and time, as well as internal senses for suffocation, thirst, and fullness. Some humans have also been found to have a sense of humor.

“Shin: A specialized anatomical feature of the human body designed for finding furniture in the dark.” -Author Unknown

Did you know that it is physically impossible for you to lick your own elbows? Go ahead and try it - just do not injure yourself!

Chin

There was a young lady whose chin
Resembled the point of a pin;
     So she had it made sharp,
     And purchased a harp,
And played several tunes with her chin.

by Edward Lear (1812 - 1888)

The words for ten human body parts have only three letters: eye, hip, arm, leg, ear, toe, jaw, rib, lip, and gum.

“If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn’t.” -Lyall Watson (1939 - 2008)

Humans use a total of 72 different muscles in speech. Be sure to give those muscles a real workout today, huh?

Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different. Now stick out your tongue and say, “Aaaaaaaaahhh!”

About eight percent of people have an extra rib, which is not really all that interesting - unless you happen to be a cannibal.

The Operation Game features an Adam’s apple, broken heart, wrenched ankle, butterflies in the stomach, spareribs, water on the knee, funny bone, writer’s cramp, Charley horse, anklebone connected to the knee bone, wishbone, breadbasket, and brain freeze. Players in the Operation Game attempt to remove each of these ailments from the patient, whose name is Cavity Sam. The regular-size game can be purchased from www.Hasbro.com.

Your Nose Is Running

“Your nose is running,” Mother said.
     I answered, “Wow! That’s really neat!”
“Why’s that?” she asked. I said, “Because
     I never knew my nose had feet.”

by Jeff Moss (Jeffrey Arnold ‘Jeff’ Moss (1942 - 1998)): “The Other Side of the Door: Poems” (1991)

Our bodies burn a large amount of calories just to keep us at a steady 37 degrees Celsius (98.6 degrees Fahrenheit). The human body gives off enough heat in thirty minutes to bring two liters (a little more than two quarts or half a gallon) of water to a boil. If you could capture and use the heat, you could cook a pasta dinner with it. First, though, you will need some kind of mad scientist laboratory . . .

“Not everyone can wiggle their ears, you know. It’s something you’re born with.” -Kevin Henkes (born 1960): “Sun and Spoon” (1997), author website: https://KevinHenkes.com/

Why can humans move their eyes in opposite directions toward their noses, but not in opposite directions away from the noses?

“The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.” -Thomas Edison (Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931))

Riddle: What can you hold in your right hand that you cannot hold in your left hand?
Solution: Your left elbow.

Ahead: The thing on top of your neck.

Kerry: What should you do if your ear rings?
Karen: Answer it.

Lizzie: How do you keep your ear from ringing continuously?
Beth: Get an unlisted head.

Humans are said to have fifty percent of their DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Acid) in common with bananas. Perhaps we should get to better know the elongated yellow fruit with which we have so much in common?

“The nose is that part of the body that shines, snubs, snoops, and sneezes.” -Author Unknown

“The heart has eyes that the brain knows nothing of.” -Charles Henry Parkhurst

If the human brain were a computer, it would perform 38 thousand-trillion operations per second. The world’s most powerful supercomputer, Blue Gene, can manage only 0.002 percent of that amount.

Sharon: How do you keep your feet from falling asleep?
Sherry: Wear loud socks.

A typical adult human is made up of more than 37,200,000,000,000 (37.2 trillion) living cells made up of 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (7 octillion) atoms. For perspective, the Milky Way Galaxy has a mere 100,000,000,000 (100 billion) stars. Every year, about 98 percent of the atoms in human bodies are replaced by new ones. Now you finally know what is meant by the phrase ‘a whole new you.’

Riddle: What has fingers and thumbs but no hands?
Solution: A glove.

The human body has more than 600 muscles, which make up 40 percent of the body’s weight. Our muscles are actually much more powerful than they may seem to be. Human strength is usually limited to prevent our tendons and muscles from tearing themselves apart; however, this limitation can be overcome in an adrenaline rush, during which there are recorded instances of people lifting heavy boulders and even automobiles off people and animals that have been trapped under them.

Joseph: Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Joe: Because it is the ‘scenter.’

At any given time, your brain can generate up to 25 watts of power - enough energy to make a light bulb come on. You are indeed more powerful than you might have known!

Veronica: What has a head but no brain?
Vera: A cabbage.

Human blood has roughly the same concentration of salt that seawater has.

A condition called ‘synesthesia’ can cause the senses to overlap, so that affected people may taste words or hear colors.

Riddle: What can clap without using hands?
Solution: Thunder.

People with hexadectylism have six fingers or six toes on one or both hands or feet. This might give them an advantage over the rest of us when it comes to typing and texting, and perhaps other activities involving manual dexterity.

A sharp nose indicates curiosity, and a flat nose indicates . . . too much curiosity!

Lionel: What has four legs and one arm?
Lynette: A happy guard dog!

The human liver has more than 500 functions. Getting you to the airport to catch your next flight and washing the dog are not among them.

The bump at the front of the throat is called the Adam’s Apple, which is said to be from the forbidden fruit getting stuck in Adam’s throat as he ate it in the Garden of Eden.

If someone’s nose runs and his or her feet smell, is that person built upside-down?

Riddle: What has a head and mouth, but no eyes, nose, or ears?
Solution: A river.

The human brain is 70 percent cholesterol . . . and the experts are telling you to cut back on cholesterol - do you see a potential problem with their advice? That’s right, they seem to want you to have a smaller brain!

A Boastful Young Person

“I can pick up a cent with my toes,”
Said a boastful young person named Mose,
     But sharp-witted Millie
     Replied, “That’s just silly -
I can do the same thing with my nose.”

by Author Unknown

The human body is divided into three parts: the Brainium, the Borax, and the Abominable Cavity. The Brainium contains the Brain. The Borax contains the Lungs, the Heart, the Liver, and the Living Things. The Abominable Cavity contains the Bowels, of which there are five: A, E, I, O, and U.

“A good heart is better than all the heads in the world.” -Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)): “The Disowned” (1828), Chapter xxxiii

If your DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Acid) were stretched out, it could reach to the Earth’s Moon 6,000 times - but would you really want to visit the Moon that often?

Fingertip to fingertip, the width of your armspan stretched out equals the length of your whole body from head to foot, which means you come pretty close to meeting the definition of a ‘square.’

Jenny: What has two legs, two arms, and two heads?
Jennifer: A two-headed monster.

The elements oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, and nitrogen make up 90 percent of the human body. The remaining 10 percent is made up of hamsters running on hamster wheels that make the body able to do things like stand up, walk around, open and close the mouth, yawn, and blink.

Overheard: I would like to thank my Arms, for always being by my side . . . my Legs, for always supporting me, and my Fingers, because I can always count on them.

The next time your anatomy teacher says, “Are there any questions?” raise your hand and ask, “Can a person laugh on the inside and on the outside at the same time?” More MFOL! is coming up next . . .

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Bicycles

12/4/2020

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“The bicycle, the bicycle surely, should always be the vehicle of novelists and poets.” -Christopher Morley

“A bicycle does get you there and more . . . and there is always the thin edge of danger to keep you alert and comfortably apprehensive. Dogs become dogs again and snap at your raincoat; potholes become personal. And getting there is all the fun.” -Bill Emerson: ‘On Bicycling’ article published in the “Saturday Evening Post” (29 July 1967)

The first bicycle in the world was invented in 1817. Riders sat on its seat and scooted it, or pushed it along with their feet, because it had no pedals - which no doubt wore out shoes quickly. The first bicycle to be fitted with pedal cranks and iron rims was built in 1840 by a Scottish blacksmith named Kirkpatrick MacMillan.

“A bicycle runs on fat and saves you money, whereas an automobile runs on money and makes you fat.” -Author Unknown

“Tens of thousands who could never afford to own, feed and stable a horse, had by this bright invention enjoyed the swiftness of motion which is perhaps the most fascinating feature of material life.” -Frances Willard (Frances Elizabeth Caroline Willard (1839 - 1898)): “How I Learned to Ride the Bicycle” (1 January 1895)

Starlet: What’s the difference between a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle and a well-dressed man on a unicycle?
Alistair: Attire.

Bicycle Facts
- Bicycles are rider-powered land vehicles.
- Bicycles have two large rotating wheels, with a rear wheel following behind a front wheel.
- The two wheels are mounted on a frame, to which is also attached pedals, the rider’s seat, movable handlebars, manual brake controls, and any accessories such as safety reflectors, bells, horns, and electric lights.
- Bicycles typically use a chain to transmit the rider’s pedal-power to the rear wheel, which propels the machines forward.
- Balancing a bicycle to keep it upright is accomplished by the rider shifting his or her weight, leaning slightly to the left or the right.
- Steering is accomplished by moving the handlebars to turn the front wheel.
- Bicycles are most commonly used to transport a rider, but can also be fitted with racks or baskets for carrying cargo, and can even tow small trailers.
- More than one billion bicycles are found throughout the world.

“The bicycle is a curious vehicle. Its passenger is its engine.” -John Howard

Forty percent of the workers in Amsterdam, Netherlands commute to work by bicycle.

Bicycles: Two-wheeled exercise machines, operated by humans, and invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, dogs must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly, and run alongside for a few yards; the person swerves and falls into the bushes, and the dog can then walk away, refreshed from exercise.

Road bikes typically have thinner tires inflated to higher pressures than those found on off-road bikes such as mountain bikes, dirt bikes, and all-terrain bikes, taking advantage of the smoother surfaces that roads generally provide.

“The other day on a ride, I was speeding down a narrow, twisting, mountain road. Then along came a man who was driving very slowly uphill toward me, honking his horn, and shouting at me. “Pig, pig!” he said. “Pig, pig!” So I gave him a rude look and shouted back some insults as I sped by him. Still thinking about this awful man and his shouting, I turned the corner and promptly collided with a pig.” -Author Unknown

Bicycle tires come in many different types, so find out which type of tires best suit your cycling needs. Thin tires are for bicycling on pavement and on racing tracks, surface-gripping tires are for use on rough terrain such as rocky mountains, wide tires are for snow, and puncture-proof tires are for riding over ground that may have broken glass, sharp stones, or other material that can puncture or slice tires.

The word ‘bicycle’ is derived from the Latin ‘bi’ meaning ‘twice’ or ‘double’ and the Greek ‘kuklos’ meaning ‘wheel.’ A ‘cyclist’ is a rider who powers a bicycle by moving the pedals.

“The bicycle is just as good company as most husbands and, when it gets old and shabby, a woman can dispose of it and get a new one without shocking the entire community.” -Ann Strong: as quoted in the “Minneapolis Tribune” (1895) newspaper

Melvin: What is the hardest part of learning to ride a bike?
Calvin: The pavement.

“When man invented the bicycle, he reached the peak of his attainments. Here was a machine of precision and balance for the convenience of man. And, unlike subsequent inventions for man’s convenience, the more he used it, the fitter his body became. Here, for once, was a product of man’s brain that was entirely beneficial to those who used it, and of no harm or irritation to others. Progress should have stopped when man invented the bicycle.” -Elizabeth West: “Hovel in the Hills” (1 January 1977)

“The bicycle had, and still has, a humane, almost classical moderation in the kind of pleasure it offers. It is the kind of machine that a Hellenistic Greek might have invented and ridden. It does no violence to our normal reactions: It does not pretend to free us from our normal environment.” -J. B. Jackson

The Penny-Farthing was an early type of bicycle, with a front wheel significantly larger than the rear. The name comes from the old British penny and farthing coins, analogous to the large and small wheels.

“Get a bicycle. You will certainly not regret it, if you live.” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)): “Taming the Bicycle” (1884)

“For instance, the bicycle is the most efficient machine ever created: Converting calories into gas, a bicycle gets the equivalent of three thousand miles per gallon.” -Bill Strickland: “The Quotable Cyclist” (1997)

One of the reasons many people do not own a bicycle is that a bicycle is easily stolen by a bicycle thief - even when bicycles are secured to immovable objects with chains or cables and locks. One solution to this problem is the Yerka Bike, the world’s first theft-proof bicycle, which can be seen and purchased at www.YerkaBikes.com.

“When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race.” -H. G. Wells (Herbert George Wells (1866 - 1946))

“Many things in life are like learning to ride a bicycle: You climb on and get it moving and you try to keep your balance and you have a few unpleasant accidents in which you are more scared and humiliated than you are injured and you learn very quickly how to work the strange mechanical contraption and before you know it you are quite good at it, and once you have learned how to ride a bicycle you never forget how it is done - so now you know the method to writing poetry and computer programs or making sandcastles and cinnamon scones or building skyscrapers and starting businesses; just get started and keep moving! Let us all get out there and do the things we have been dreaming of. Get on that bicycle of life and ride, ride like the wind!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born in 1966)

“I prefer a bike to a horse. The brakes are more easily checked.” -Lambert Jeffries

“The bicycle is the most civilized conveyance known to man. Other forms of transport grow daily more nightmarish. Only the bicycle remains pure in heart.” -Iris Murdoch: “The Red and the Green” (1965)

“Think of bicycles as rideable art that can just about save the world.” -Grant Peterson

“Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.” -Charles Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000))

“Life is like riding a bicycle. You don’t fall off unless you stop pedaling.” -Claude Pepper

“Cycology: The science of propelling one’s self through the environment to enhance well-being.” -Author Unknown

“It is curious that with the advent of the automobile and the airplane, the bicycle is still with us. Perhaps people like the world they can see from a bike, or the air they breathe when they’re out on a bike. Or they like the bicycle’s simplicity and the precision with which it is made. Or because they like the feeling of being able to hurtle through air one minute, and saunter through a park the next, without leaving behind clouds of choking exhaust, without leaving behind so much as a footstep.” -Gurdon S. Leete

Amy: When is a bicycle not a bicycle?
Susy: When it turns into a driveway.

“Cycle tracks will abound in Utopia.” -H. G. Wells (Herbert George Wells (1866 - 1946))

Outside Ride on a Bicycle

The one thing I just can’t abide
Is spending the whole day inside.
The one thing I like
Is riding my bike.
Oh, please let me outside to ride!

by Author Unknown

The energy required to cycle at low to medium speeds is roughly the same as the energy required to walk.

“It would not be at all strange if history came to the conclusion that the perfection of the bicycle was the greatest incident of the nineteenth century.” -Author Unknown

“The bicycle will accomplish more for women’s sensible dress than all the reform movements that have ever been waged.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “Demorest’s Family Magazine” (1895)

Many bicycles are sold with seats that are too small, narrow, and uncomfortable for riders. This is one place where bicycle manufacturers unwisely skimp on materials, with the ridiculous excuse that a narrow seat will fit better inside the cardboard box in which an unassembled bicycle is shipped. Many cyclists buy and install after-market seats that are wider, padded, and even equipped with springs to make the ride less bumpy and more comfortable.

Bicycles have two wheels. Machines similar to bicycles include one-wheeled unicycles, three-wheeled tricycles, and four-wheeled quadracycles. Although unicycles (one wheel) and tricycles (three wheels) do not have two wheels, they are sometimes still referred to as ‘bikes.’

Lilly: Why can a bicycle not stand on its own?
Holly: Because it is just two-tired.

“Bicycling is a big part of the future . . . it has to be . . . there is something wrong with a society that drives a car to work out at a gym.” -Bill Nye, the Science Guy

A tandem bicycle is a bicycle built for two riders.

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Daisy Bell

Daisy, Daisy,
     Give me your answer, do!
I’m half crazy,
     All for the love of you!
It won’t be a stylish marriage,
     I can’t afford a carriage,
But you’ll look sweet
     On the seat
Of a bicycle
    Built for two!

by Harry Dacre (pseudonym of Frank Dean (1857 - 1922))

When Frank Dean, also known by the pseudonym Harry Dacre, came to the United States of America from England, he was shocked at the cost of the duty for the bicycle he had brought along. A friend chanced to remark, “Lucky for you it was not built for two,” which gave him the idea for his famous song “Daisy Bell,” which in turn started the whole cycle of bicycle songs popular in the 1890’s. Is this an example of someone making the best of things?

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“It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle.” -Ernest Hemingway

“I’ve really had it with my dog,” said a man to his neighbor. “He’ll chase anyone on a bicycle.” “Hmmm, that is a problem,” said the neighbor. “What are you thinking of doing about it?” The man said, “I guess the only answer is to confiscate his bike!”

Sometimes riding a bicycle is not safe. A major problem in some areas is that riding a bicycle on the streets carries a high risk of injury or even death because of unsafe motor-vehicle drivers. More attention needs to be given to this problem through education of motor vehicle drivers - especially in teaching them that they will need to share the roads with other types of vehicles, no matter any contrary opinions. Motor vehicle drivers who create unsafe situations for cyclists must be denied the privilege of driving. More can be done to redesign streets and cities with the needs of cyclists in mind, making them welcome users, and not people who are merely tolerated. One way to make progress toward such goals is for bicycle riders to organize and work together on achieving them.

Bicycle Race

On a bike race through Scotland did ped-al
A speedy French rider who led-all.
     “Is my lead big?” he cried.
     “Wee,” a Scotsman replied,
So he slowed down and won no gold med-al.

by Graham Lester

Orville and Wilbur Wright, the brothers who built the first successful airplane, operated a small bike repair shop in Dayton, Ohio, United States of America. They used this workshop to build their 1903 Wright Flyer.

“I think the bicycle has done more to emancipate women than any one thing in the world. I rejoice every time I see a woman ride by on a bike. It gives her a feeling of self-reliance and independence the moment she takes her seat; and away she goes, the picture of untrammeled womanhood.” -Susan B. Anthony (Susan Brownell Anthony (1820 - 1906)) (2 February 1896)

“Bicycle means simplicity and simplicity means happiness!” -Mehmet Murat Ildan

More than ten bicycles can be parked in the space taken up by one automobile. Parking an automobile can cost twenty dollars (U.S.) or more a day, while parking a bicycle is free.

“The journey of life is like a man riding a bicycle. We know he got on the bicycle and started to move. We know that at some point he will stop and get off. We know that if he stops moving and does not get off he will fall off.” -William Golding: as quoted in Abby Adams: “An Uncommon Scold” (1989)

“Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“When the spirits are low, when the day appears dark, when work becomes monotonous, when hopes hardly seems worth having, just mount a bicycle and go for a good spin down the road, without thought of anything but the ride you are taking.” -Arthur Conan Doyle: as quoted in “The American Bee Keeper” (May 1895)

Before the word ‘bicycle’ came into common usage, bikes were typically called ‘velocipedes’ - not to be confused with velociraptors, which are a type of theropod, which lived around the time of the dinosaurs, which are a type of extinct reptile - but not all reptiles are extinct, as for example, crocodiles, which do not commonly have wheels . . . but we digress . . .

“One of the most important days in my life was when I learned to ride a bicycle.” -Michael Palin

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” -Albert Einstein

We are MFOL! . . . engaging in the pursuit of happiness on two wheels . . .

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Astronomy

11/28/2020

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Astronomy is for those who never stop looking up . . .

“We can’t all be stars, but we can all sparkle.” -Author Unknown

What are stars? Stars are massive spheres, or balls, of very hot burning gases, called plasma, held together by their own gravity. Most stars contain mostly hydrogen, with small amounts of helium. Some stars have tiny amounts of other elements as well.

“At night, an enormous blanket is placed over the Earth to keep it warm. The blanket is very old and worn out, and so it has many tiny holes in it. The holes where the Sun’s light comes through are called stars.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Stars form in nebulas, which are large gaseous areas of space. As gravity attracts and condenses more and more gas into clusters, young stars called protostars start to form.

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

Stars radiate energy created from nuclear fusion, which is a process that takes place in a star’s core and involves hydrogen fusing, or burning, to make helium. Once nuclear fusion has begun in the core, a star is sufficiently fueled to spend the majority of its life as a main sequence star, or twinkly thing, in its most stable form.

The Star

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
     How I wonder what you are.
Giant thermonuclear reaction,
     Held by gravitational attraction.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
     You look small ’cause you’re so far.
As you burn through constant fusion,
     Your twinkle’s just an optical illusion
That happens when your light gets near,
     Distorted by our atmosphere.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
     Spreading light and heat so far.
As you use up fuel you’ll grow,
     And give off a scarlet glow.
Maybe you’ll go supernova
     Exploding elements all over.
Now I know just what you are,
     And I know I’m made of stars.

by Author Unknown: parody of “The Star” by Jane Taylor (1806)

“Even a small star shines in the darkness.” -Author Unknown: Finnish proverb

A brown dwarf forms if a star does not become hot enough to reach nuclear fusion. While a brown dwarf has failed to become a proper star, it is not a planet because it does glow dimly.

“There are stars called white dwarfs and red giants . . . but, alas, no jelly donuts.” -Author Unknown

The most common stars are red dwarfs. They are less than half the size and mass of our Sun, and burn their fuel very slowly. Red dwarfs last longer than any other type of star, at more than 100 billion years. They are cooler than most stars, and so shine less, eventually growing dimmer.

“We are made of stardust. Every atom of every element in your body except for hydrogen has been manufactured inside stars, scattered across the Universe in great stellar explosions, and recycled to become part of you.” -John Gribbin (John R. Gribbin (born 1946)): “Stardust” (10 September 2000)

When smaller stars such as red dwarfs or red giants use up all of their fuel and nuclear fusion slows, they start to die, and become small white dwarf stars, which emit white light until they finally darken into black dwarfs.

“All men have stars, but they are not the same things for different people. For some, who are travelers, the stars are guides. For others they are no more than little lights in the sky. For others, who are scholars, they are problems . . . But all these stars are silent. You - you alone, will have stars as no one else has them . . .” -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (Antoine Marie Jean-Baptiste Roger (1900 - 1944))

A dwarf star is so dense that it would take eight people to lift a teaspoonful of its matter. As yellow dwarf stars like our Sun start to run out of hydrogen fuel, the core shrinks, heats, and pushes out the rest of the star, turning it into a red giant.

Wish Upon a Star

Star light, star bright,
     The first star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
     Have this wish I wish tonight.

by Author Unknown

Red supergiants, such as Betelgeuse in the constellation Orion, make our Sun look small, having 20 times its mass, and being 1,000 times bigger in size. Red hypergiants, such as the largest known star, VY Canis Majoris, are even bigger, at more than 1,800 times the size of our Sun.

“It is often in the darkest skies that we see the brightest stars.” -Author Unknown

Big stars like supergiants and hypergiants have shorter lives because they consume their fuel at a faster rate than smaller stars. As these massive stars die, they explode into massive bright supernovas.

“Why does someone believe you when you say there are four hundred billion stars in the sky, but when you say the paint is wet they have to touch it themselves to find out?” -Author Unknown

Star matter blown apart in supernova explosions forms new stellar nebulas (or nebulae), and the process of making stars begins all over again.

“Stars are beautiful, but they may not take an active part in anything; they must just look on forever. It is a punishment put on them for something they did so long ago that no star now knows what it is.” -J. M. Barrie (James Matthew Barrie (1860 - 1937)): “Peter Pan” (????)

Very heavy stars that go supernova can actually turn into black holes, while other supernovas leave behind white neutron stars that are 20 to 40 kilometers (12.5 to 25 miles) in diameter and have dense cores made of neutrons.

Riddle: I shine high in the sky - what am I?
Solution: I am a star.

As a star approaches the end of its life, it begins to change the helium into heavier chemical elements, such as carbon and oxygen, and the star will begin to change its color, density, mass, and size.

“With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand miles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress.” -Kurt Vonnegut, Junior (1922 - 2007): “The Sirens of Titan” (1959), type of work: novel; line spoken by fictional character Ransom K. Ferm (printed as Ransom K. Fern in some instances)

Astronomers . . . mapping the way to future homeworlds for humanity . . .

An ancient astronomer stayed up all night trying to figure out where the Sun had gone. In the morning, it finally dawned on him.

Stars range in color depending on how hot they are. In order from lowest to highest temperature, they can be brown, red, orange, yellow, white, or blue in color.

“Stars have always helped me to get things into perspective . . . I tried to let the starlight heal something deep in me that hurt.” -Madeleine L’Engle (Madeleine L’Engle Camp (1918 - 2007))

Stars are often between 1 and 10 billion years old. Some stars may even be close to the age of the observed Universe, at nearly 13.8 billion years old.

There are more stars in the Universe than there are grains of sand on all the beaches of the world. We know this because we have been traveling the world’s beaches with a pencil, a notebook, and a magnifying glass, counting all of the itsy-bitsy granules of sand . . . if you see us out there, be sure to say hello!

Stars

The stars are tiny daisies high,
     Opening and shutting in the sky.
The daisies are the stars below,
     Twinkling and sparkling as they grow.

by Authors Unknown

Each galaxy contains hundreds of billions of stars and there are estimated to be more than 100 billion galaxies in the Universe. The total number of stars in the Universe is mind boggling, estimated to be at least 70 sextillion and possibly as high as 300 sextillion, which is 300,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.

“Put three grains of sand inside a vast cathedral, and the cathedral will be more closely packed with sand than space is with stars.” -James Jeans (James Hopwood Jeans (1877 - 1946)): as attributed in Laurence J. Peter’s “Peter’s Quotations: Ideas for Our Time” (1993)

Our Milky Way Galaxy is an area in space crowded with lots of stars - so many that it resembles a road of spilled milk. That is how it got its name! There are estimated to be somewhere between 200 and 400 billion stars in the Milky Way.

Galaxies are speeding away from Earth at 90,000 miles per second. What do you suppose they know that we don’t?

The light emitted by 200,000 galaxies makes our Universe a shade of beige. Scientists call the color ‘cosmic latte.’ Of course, if a scientist is up late at night looking at stars, it might be because he or she is highly caffeinated.

“There they stand, the innumerable stars, shining in order like a living hymn, written in light.” -Nathaniel Parker Willis (1806 - 1867)

The light from stars takes millions of years to reach Earth, so when you look at the stars, you are literally looking back in time.

“The stars are not so strange as the mind that studies them, analyzes their light, and measures their distances.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969): “On Being a Real Person” (1943)

While a clear night sky may appear to be full of stars, there are really only about 2,000 to 3,000 stars visible to the unaided eye, meaning without the use of a telescope. These stars are all either close to the Earth or intensely luminous, meaning very bright, like yourself.

Visiting an observatory, the backwoods man watched the astronomer look through his telescope. Just then a star fell. “Wow-wee!” exclaimed the man. “You sure are a great shot!”

Stars only appear to twinkle because we see them through the Earth’s atmosphere. Stars shine at an unblinking steady state, but atmospheric disturbances called eddies, which we experience as slight breezes and winds, make stars look sparkly.

If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day. We know this because we spend a lot of time hanging out at the bottom of old wells and chimneys . . .

At an average distance of just 149,597,870 kilometers (92,955,807 miles), the nearest star to Earth is a yellow dwarf star called the Sun. The next nearest star to Earth is a red dwarf star called Proxima Centauri, also known as Alpha Centauri C. It was discovered in 1915 by Scottish astronomer Robert Innes while he was working at the Union Observatory in Johannesburg, South Africa. It is about 39.9 trillion kilometers (24.79 trillion miles) or 4.25 light years away. Light from this star reaches Earth in 4.25 years. A spacecraft using the newest, fastest propulsion systems would take about 75,000 years to get there.

Arnold: Did you know there’s a star called the Dog Star?
Owen: Are you Sirius?

Binary stars and multi-star systems are made up of two or more stars that are gravitationally linked, so that they orbit around each other.

“There wouldn’t be a sky full of stars if we were all meant to wish on the same one.” -Frances Clark (Frances Mary Clark (1860 - 1958))

A comet is a relatively small solar system body that orbits the Sun. When close enough to the Sun, comets display a visible coma, which is a fuzzy outline or atmosphere due to solar radiation, and sometimes also a tail.

When asked about flying saucers, the astronomer replied, “No comet.”

Asteroids are small solar system bodies that orbit the Sun. Made of rock and metal, they can also contain organic compounds. Asteroids are similar to comets but do not have a visible coma (fuzzy outline and tail) like comets do.

“Telescope: A device for bringing the sky closer.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

A meteoroid is a small rock or particle of debris in our solar system. They range in size from dust to around 10 meters in diameter. Larger objects are usually referred to as asteroids.

Star

Star light, star bright,
     First star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
     No - it’s just a satellite!

by Author Unknown

So-called ‘shooting stars’ and ‘falling stars’ are not actually stars, but are meteors. A meteoroid that burns up as it passes through the Earth’s atmosphere is known as a meteor. A meteoroid that survives falling through the Earth’s atmosphere and colliding with the Earth’s surface is known as a meteorite.

The odds of anyone being struck by a meteorite are said to be ‘astronomical.’

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When You Wish Upon a Star

When you wish upon a star
     Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
     Will come to you.

If your heart is in your dreams
     No request is to extreme
When you wish upon a star
     As dreamers do.

Fate is kind
     She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment
     of their secret longing.

Like a bolt out of the blue
     Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
     Your dreams come true.

If your heart is in your dreams
     No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
     As dreamers do.

When you wish upon a star
     Your dream comes true.

by Jesse McCartney

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Stars have played important roles throughout human history. They have become a part of religions, been grouped into constellations, used in astrology, helped to design calendars, and were very important navigational tools for early explorations across lands and seas.

“Silently, one by one in the infinite meadows of Heaven, blossomed the lovely stars, the forget-me-nots of angels.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

If you would like to keep up-to-date on the goings on in a whole Universe of stars, click on the link www.StarDate.org.

Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul.
Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.
-Pamela Vaull Starr (pseudonym of Violet Isabelle (Carter) Popp (1909 - 1993))

At MFOL! we think stars are, like, so stellar . . . and far out, too! Yeah, we know, we’re kinda weird sometimes . . . now go have fun with your life!

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Cats and Dogs

11/26/2020

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If you are having difficulty deciding whether to get a cat or a dog, we may be able to help . . .

One trait cats and dogs have in common is that they will both look up to you . . . but they look at you differently.

“If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because you lap is warmer.” -Alfred North Whitehead

“Your cat will never threaten your popularity by barking at three in the morning. He won’t attack the mailman or eat the drapes, although he may climb the drapes to see how the room looks from the ceiling.” -Helen Powers

“In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.” -Dereke Bruce

When cats chase their prey, they keep their heads level. Dogs and humans bob their heads up and down when chasing prey. Ducks cannot waddle, waddle, quack, quack without bobbing their heads. This could be a whole new way of looking at animals!

In contrast to dogs, cats have not undergone major changes during the attempted domestication process.

“You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.” -George Mikes: “How to Be Decadent” (1 January 1977)

Spot: What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat?
Fluffy: An animal that chases itself.

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Who Needs a Man?
- If you want someone who can scare away burglars without using a lethal weapon, get a dog.
- If you want someone who eats whatever you put in front of him and never says his mother made it better, get a dog.
- If you want someone who is always eager to go out anytime you ask and anywhere you want to go, get a dog.
- If you want someone who never criticizes anything you do, does not care how good or bad you look, acts as though every word you say is worth hearing, never complains, and loves you unconditionally all the time, get a dog!
- If you want someone who never touches the remote, could care less about Monday Night Football, and watches dramatic movies with you as long as you want, get a dog.
- If you want someone who will bring you the newspaper without tearing through it first for the sports page, get a dog.
- If you want someone who will do anything to please you, get a dog.
- If you want someone who will make a total fool of himself because he is so glad to see you, get a dog.

On the other hand . . .
- If you want someone who never comes when you call him, totally ignores you when you walk in the room, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, prowls around all night and comes home only to eat and sleep all day, and acts as though you are there only to see that he is happy . . . get a cat.

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Dogs have lived with humans for more than 14,000 years. Cats have lived with humans for only 7,000 years.

A dog thinks: Wow, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . They are amazing! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . I am amazing!

“Cat people are different, to the extent that they generally are not conformist. How could they be, with a cat running their lives?” -Louis J. Camuti

Every cat thinks he’s the cat’s meow, until he hears the dog’s bark, at which time he high-tails himself out of there.

Fuzzy: Why do you need a license for a dog and not for a cat?
Bowzer: Because cats cannot drive.

Cat brains are biologically more similar to human brains than they are to dog brains. Both humans and cats have identical regions in their brains that are responsible for emotions.

“A dog is a dog, but a cat is a purrrrson.” -Author Unknown

“Dogs have masters, cats have support staff.” -Author Unknown

“When you have a cat, you can never be quite sure which one of you is the pet, or as someone once said, cats make great pets - out of their owners.” -Author Unknown

Cats can make more than 100 different vocal sounds. Dogs make only about 10. Conclusion: Cats talk too much - unless you have one of those dogs that barks all day and all night, of course . . . arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf . . .

“Cats make ‘purrrfectly’ marvelous pets, but dogs make ‘doggone’ good pets.” -Author Unknown

“Dogs come when they’re called. Cats take a message and get back to you.” -Mary Bly

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Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary and a Cat’s Diary

The Dog’s Diary:
Day number 180
8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite!
10:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Yard! My Favorite!
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
5:00 PM - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
5:30 PM - Oh Boy! Mom! My Favorite!
Day number 181
8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite!
10:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Yard! My Favorite!
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
5:00 PM - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
5:30 PM - Oh Boy! Mom! My Favorite!
Day number 182
8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite!
10:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Yard! My Favorite!
1:30 pm - Ooooooo. Bath. Bummer.
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
5:00 PM - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
5:30 PM - Oh Boy! Mom! My Favorite!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary
Day 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Day 761 - Today my attempt to thwart my captors and escape by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again scratched their favorite chair . . . I must try this on their favorite lampshade.
Day 765 - Pounced on a mouse and brought it to them, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was . . . Hmmm, this is not working according to plan.
Day 768 - I am finally aware of how cruel they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning foamy chemical called shampoo. What horrible minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
Day 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
Day 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be tattle-tales. The dog is routinely released and seems more than a little happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his present placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

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Perhaps dogs chase cars because of their herding instinct: A dog sees your vehicle pulling away from the rest of the vehicles parked alongside the curbs and in the driveways. The dogs thinks, “One of them is straying from the rest of the flock, I must get it back with the others! Woof, woof!”

Would you rather be a dog and chase cars that you will never catch, or be a cat and climb trees and get stuck in them?

“The cat could very well be man’s best friend, but would never stoop to admitting it.” -Doug Larson (1902 - 1981)

Furball: How can you get a cat to do tricks?
Fido: Put a dog in a cat suit.

“Chaos: What happens when a dog person marries a cat person.” -Author Unknown

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Dog and Cat Owners Have Different Personalities

Dog owners and cat owners are as different as night and day, says an expert - who reveals the distinctive personality traits of each. People are like their pets, said Dr. Vinsey, Professor of Anthropology at Pace University in New York City, who made a six-year study of pets and their owners.

Dr. Vinsey characterizes dog owners this way:
- They tend to be more outgoing and sociable and they are more apt to be openly affectionate.
- Dog owners are more generous and helpful. They are more ambitious and assertive and more apt to take risks to reach their goals.
- Dog owners are more ‘outdoorsy’ - they love to tramp the hills, go camping, and participate in active, energetic sports.

Cat owners are a different type says Dr. Vinsey:
- They tend to be well-read, articulate and cultured and more imaginative, creative and curious than dog owners.
- They are more apt to be loners. They enjoy privacy and tend to be aloof until they know someone well.
- Cat lovers are comfort lovers and tend to pamper themselves. They’re more finicky and choosy, have exotic tastes and are nonconformists. They also tend to be more opinionated and independent.
- Cat owners are indoor people. Their greatest joy is to curl up in front of a fire with a good book or a television miniseries to view.

But both cat and dog owners are far more flexible than people who don’t own pets, said the doctor. They take a less rigid approach to life and adjust more easily to changes in plans or circumstances, she said.

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“Cat’s Motto: No matter what you’ve done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.” -Author Unknown

Dogs are mentioned 44 times in “The Bible,” 35 times in the ‘Old Testament,’ and 9 times in the ‘New Testament.’ Curiously, cats are not mentioned anywhere in “The Bible.”

Cat hearing is better than dog hearing. Cats can hear sounds up to two octaves higher than humans can hear - but they will never tell you this, preferring to keep this ability exclusively for their own benefit.

Proof that cats are smarter than dogs: You will never find a dozen cats pulling a sled through the snow. They know the best place to be in the winter is curled up in front of the fireplace.

“As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.” -Ellen Perry Berkeley

While cats have only about 473 taste buds and do not have a ‘sweet tooth,’ dogs have about 1,700 taste buds, and appear to like sweets much more than cats do. Humans have approximately 9,000 taste buds.

“A dog, I have always said, is prose; a cat is a poem.” -Jean Burden

Good news: You do not have to choose between having a pet cat or having a pet dog - just get six of each, and then you’ll have an even dozen . . . your neighbors will not know if they should call you the eccentric cat person, the eccentric dog person, or the zookeeper!

Information appearing on the Make Fun Of Life! Website is most likely fictitious . . . Any resemblance to actual facts is probably coincidental . . . including the line you have just read . . .

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Waiting and Patience

11/21/2020

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Everybody’s waiting for something . . .

“Good things come to those who wait - but better things come to those who work for it.” -Author Unknown

“I was not born to wait.” -Gwenda Bond: “Double Down” (1 May 2016)

“I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“Beware the Fury of a Patient Man.” -John Dryden (1631 - 1700): “Absalom and Achitophel” (1681), Part 1, line 1005; type of work: satiric poem

“Patience is the ability to count down without blasting off.” -Author Unknown

“You’re trying to eat grass that isn’t there. Why don’t you give it a chance to grow?” -Richard Adams (1920 - 2016): “Watership Down” (November 1972)

Pay-Off

All things may come
To those who wait,
But when they do,
They’re out of date.

by George Hill

“If you are patient in a moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” -Author Unknown

“Be patient with your impatience.” -Roy Masters (born 1928 as Reuben Obermeister)

“The secret of patience is to do something else in the meantime.” -Croft M. Pentz (Croft Miner Pentz (1931 -2008))

“Things come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle*.” -attributed to Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
* hustle: to put forth effort energetically.

“What is done hastily is not done well.” -Author Unknown

“Everything comes too late for those who only wait.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

Overheard: Patience is something that can only be learned by waiting.

“‘Patience is a virtue’ is always said by those who make others wait, and never by those who must wait.” -Author Unknown

“There is, however, a limit at which forbearance ceases to be a virtue.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797): “Observations on a Late Publication on the Present State of the Nation”

“The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.” -Arnold H. Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“Patience is powerful.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

“How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young?” -Paul Sweeney (born 1955)

“In putting off what one has to do, one runs the risk of never being able to do it.” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)

Once upon a time, there was a man who was very impatient with other people. To him, everyone seemed to be too slow to understand and too slow to do the right things. Also to him, people seemed too quick to come to the wrong conclusions and too quick to do the wrong things. The more the man had to deal with people, the more impatient he became with them, so he decided that he must get away from people until he could learn how to be patient. He built himself a little home deep in the woods, and far away from civilization, and lived as a hermit. Years later, a man was hiking through the woods, and met the impatient man. The hiker was amazed to find anyone living so deep in the woods and so far away from the rest of the world, so he asked the man why he was there all by himself. The man said that he was there to learn patience. The hiker asked how long he had been living all alone in the woods, and the man replied, “Thirty-one years.” Stunned, the hiker asked, “If there are no other people around you, how will you know when you have learned to be patient?” Annoyed by this lengthy conversation, the impatient man replied, “Go away, I have no time for you.”

“You will develop patience if you wait long enough.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is also a form of action.” -Auguste Rodin (also known as François Auguste René Rodin or Auguste-René Rodin (1840 - 1917))

Macrophobia is a fear of long waits. Personally, we are afraid of short waits. “The dentist will see you now.” “Oh, no . . . couldn’t we wait just a little longer?”

“Lateness is rudeness - always. There is no such thing as being ‘fashionably late.’ If you are running late, call to let your host know.” -Author Unknown

‘Hurry up and wait!’ could be the slogan of many individuals and organizations. Military people are familiar with this saying. People with government appointments may have heard this saying. People with medical appointments may suspect that this is what is going on. You make all kinds of advance preparations in order to be absolutely certain that you have everything ready that they require, and you make sure that you are not just on time, but at least a few minutes early - and what happens? You are made to wait for hours, because the people who insisted that you show up prepared and on time did not make the same efforts to be sure they were prepared and on time to meet you! It can be hard not to feel that these people do not respect you and that they are stealing your time away from you.

“Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.” -John Quincy Adams (1767 - 1848)

“All things come to those who wait - provided they work continually while waiting.” -Author Unknown

“Patience with others is love. Patience with self is hope. Patience with God is faith.” -Adel Bestavros (Adel Azer Bestavros (1924 - 2005))

“Men count up the faults of those who keep them waiting.” -Author Unknown: French proverb

“How poor are they who have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Othello” (1603), Act ii, scene 3

Overheard: Thank you for your patience.

“Patience is the greatest of all virtues.” -Cato the Elder (Marcus Porcius Cato (233 B.C.E. - 148 B.C.E.))

“Punctuality is the stern virtue of men of business, and the graceful courtesy of princes.” -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)

“If you have been waiting for someone or something for so long that you can actually feel yourself getting older while you wait, then you know that you have been waiting too long.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“An over-taxed patience gives way to fierce anger.” [translation to English]
“Furor fit læsa sæpius patientia.” [original Latin]
-Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): “Sententiae,” Maxim 289

“Patience will come to him who waits for it.” -Author Unknown

“If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb

“Patience is a key element of success.” -Bill Gates (born 1955)

“It is better to have a hen tomorrow than an egg today.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734)

“There is nothing to be gained by waiting for a better situation. You see where you are and you do what you can with that.” -Jacob K. Javits (Jacob Koppel Javits (1904 - 1986))

“Patience is not simply the ability to wait. It’s how we behave while we’re waiting.” -Joyce Meyer (born 1943 as Pauline Joyce Hutchison)

“If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.” -Larry McMurtry (born 1936): “Some Can Whistle” (1989)

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” [translation to English]
“La patience est amère, mais son fruit est doux.” [original French]
-Jean Chardin (1643 - 1713): “Voyages en Perse et autres lieux de l’Orient” (1711), page 175

“Our patience will achieve more than our force.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797): “Reflections on the Revolution in France” (1790)

“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself.” -Francis de Sales (1567 - 1622)

“Abused Patience turns to Fury.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 757

“When you are tempted to lose patience with someone, think how patient God has been with you all the time.” -Author Unknown

“You can chase a butterfly all over the field and never catch it. But if you sit quietly in the grass it will come and sit on your shoulder.” -Author Unknown

“No great thing is created suddenly.” -Epictetus (C.E. 55 - C.E. 135)

“Patience means self-suffering.” -Mahatma Gandhi (Mohandas Karamchand ‘Mahatma’ Gandhi (1869 - 1948))

“Waiting is one thing, but when people force us to wait for an exorbitant amount of time, they are actually taking a part of our lives away from us, because time is a measure of life.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“He that can have patience can have what he will.” -Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790): “Poor Richard’s Almanack” (June 1736)

“Even the nicest person’s patience has a limit.” -Author Unknown

“I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.” -E. V. Lucas (Edward Verrall Lucas (1868 - 1938)): “365 Days and One More” (1926), ‘October 3’

“Patience is the art of hoping.” [translation to English]
“La patience est l’art d’espérer.” [original French]
-Luc de Clapiers, Marquis de Vauvenargues (1715 - 1747): “Réflexions” (1746), CCLI

“Patience and tenacity of purpose are worth more than twice their weight of cleverness.” -T. H. Huxley (Thomas Henry Huxley (1825 - 1895))

“Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.” -Guy Kawasaki (Guy Takeo Kawasaki (born 1954))

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.” -David G. Allen (born 1945)

“If you wait until all the lights are ‘green’ before you leave home, you’ll never get started on your trip to the top.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“When you are tempted to lose patience with God, remember how patient God has been with you.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is a virtue. The Moon and the Sun learned long ago that, if each patiently waits its turn, they will both have their chance to shine.” -Author Unknown

“Please be patient. God has not finished with me yet.” -Author Unknown

“Good things come to those who believe, better things come to those who are patient, and the best things come to those who don’t give up.” -Author Unknown

This is life’s dilemma and it is sure as fate
Some things can’t be hurried and other things can’t wait.
-Author Unknown

Overheard: Good things take time.

“Patience is the companion of wisdom.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis and Aurelius Augustine (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430))

“Your capacity for patience will be rewarded eventually.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is the ability to let your light shine after your fuse has blown.” -Bob Levey

“A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.” -George Savile (also known as Lord Halifax (1633 - 1695))

“Even a waiter finally comes to him who waits.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is the ability to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without becoming angry or upset.” -Author Unknown

“The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.” -Author Unknown

“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

The two most common meanings of patience are as follows.
1. To wait without being frustrated, angry, complaining, and so forth.
2. To understandingly bear with the faults of others.

“Impatience can cause wise people to do foolish things.” -Janette Oke (born 1935)

“I feel like I’m waiting for something that isn’t going to happen.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is a necessary ingredient of genius.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“People wait all week for Friday, all year for Summer, all of a lifetime for happiness.” -Author Unknown

“Impatience never commanded success.” -Edwin H. Chapin (Edwin Hubbell Chapin (1814 - 1880))

A little boy was standing patiently at the bottom of an escalator in a big department store. A saleswoman asked him, “Sonny, are you lost?” The boy answered, “No ma’am, I’m waiting for my chewing gum to come back.”

“The man who is waiting for something to turn up might start on his shirt sleeves.” -Garth Henrichs (Garth Harold Henrichs, Senior (1903 - 2002))

“Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

Overheard: Be patient with people - nobody is perfect.

“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

We would be flattering ourselves if we said that this topic was certainly worth waiting for . . . more fun and learning continues next . . . on MFOL!

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