Make Fun Of Life!

This Squirrel Is Seeing Something

8/21/2019

This squirrel is seeing what is on www.MakeFunOfLife.net and is keenly interested . . . perhaps you will be, too . . .

We are working day and night to bring you new stuff. In the meanwhile, please enjoy the fun Learning that follows below on this page, or feel free to explore the other pages shown on the menu bar at the top of this page, such as the Silly and the World pages.

This is MFOL! . . . more fun than a tree full of squirrels . . .

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Goals and Planning

8/20/2019

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Never give up on your dreams . . .

“Take your dreams up off the shelf! Put your goals in front of you, and follow them. Focus. Strive. This is what you should be doing; this is what you are here for! You are here to dream, and to live your dreams! This is how things were meant to be. It is time to get back to basics. The essence of your life is your dream! What have you always been dreaming about, ever since you were a youngster? Visualize it, define it, and then go for it! Become happy and share that happiness with the world.” -Author Unknown

“I have come up with a plan so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel.” -Rowan Atkinson (born 1955): “Black Adder the Third” (British television show)

“If you go to work on your goals, your goals will go to work on you. If you go to work on your plan, your plan will go to work on you. Whatever good things we build end up building us.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“If ‘Plan A’ fails, remember there are twenty-five more letters.” -Claire Cook

“One simple mental trick has changed my life. A wise retired railway worker named Danny Breslin told me about it. When you are faced with a task you do not want to perform, do not think of the task as a whole. Do not focus on the hardest part of it. Instead, ask yourself, ‘What is the least I can do towards accomplishing this task? What is the irreducible minimum?’ Do that and you have started on the task itself. So, for instance, if you are procrastinating about a letter you have to write, put aside the thought of the letter itself and what you will say in it. Instead, think of the least you can do towards it, which is getting a pen and paper ready. By doing this you will usually find that you can then actually start writing the letter itself.” -Celia Haddon (born 1945)

“To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time.” -Leonard Bernstein (1918 - 1990)

When any great design thou dost intend,
Think on the means, the manner, and the end.
-John Denham (1615 - 1669): “Of Prudence”

“The weakest living creature, by concentrating his powers on a single object, can accomplish something; whereas the strongest, by dispersing his over many, may fail to accomplish anything.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“Plan your work and work your plan.” -Author Unknown

“He who every morning plans the transaction of the day and follows out that plan, carries a thread that will guide him through the maze of the most busy life. But where no plan is laid, where the disposal of time is surrendered merely to the chance of incidence, chaos will soon reign.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“Don’t be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so.” -Belva Davis (born Belvagene Melton (1932))

“It takes a mad genius to reach some goals.” -Daniel Akst (born 1956)

“We rarely succeed at anything unless we have fun doing it.” -Author Unknown

Work diligently toward a goal;
On plans and dreams often dwell;
Don’t wait until you are thirsty,
Before you dig a well.
-Rosemary Perry

“People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“The person with a fixed goal, a clear picture of his desire, or an ideal always before him, causes it, through repetition, to be buried deeply in his subconscious mind and is thus enabled, thanks to its generative and sustaining power, to realize his goal in a minimum of time and with a minimum of physical effort. Just pursue the thought unceasingly. Step by step you will achieve realization, for all your faculties and powers become directed to that end.” -Claude M. Bristol (Claude Myron Bristol (1891 - 1951))

“The vital, successful people I have met all had one common characteristic. They had a plan.” -Marilyn Van Derbur (Marilyn Elaine Van Derbur (born 1937))

“The discipline of writing something down is the first step toward making it happen.” -Lee Iacocca (Lido Anthony ‘Lee’ Iacocca (born 1924))

“You will have wonderful surges forward. Then there must be a time of consolidating before the next forward surge. Accept this as part of the process and never become downhearted.” -Eileen Caddy (1917 - 2006)

“The most important thing about having goals is having one.” -Geoffrey F. Abert
Abert F. Geoffrey

“Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work.” -H. L. Hunt (Haroldson Lafayette ‘H. L.’ Hunt, Junior (1889 - 1974))

“The basic goal-reaching principle is to understand that you go as far as you can see, and when you get there you will be able to see farther.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

Write Down Your Goals!

If you don’t write your goal down on paper,
Beware, it may try to be an escaper.
But when you do write your goal in your journal,
What you have done is planted a kernel.
And everyone, who knows anything knows,
That what a man reaps is what a man sows!
So write down your hopes and journal your goals
And press on through the highs and the lows.
Through the thick and through the thin,
If you never, never quit - eventually you win.
In every failure is a seed of success,
So keep trying, keep trying -
And you’ll be the best.
Write down your goals
And surprise the rest.

by Al Argo

“What you get by reaching your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012)): “Biscuits, Fleas, and Pump Handles” (1974), ‘Segment 4: Goals,’ Chapter 4: Reaching Your Goals, page 171

“Don’t let anyone steal your dream. It’s your dream, not theirs.” -Dan Zadra

“You can do anything you want in your life and in your career if you have written goals and a plan to get there, and also the commitment to follow through.” -Carol Halsey

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Achieving Your Goals

1. Break your goals into smaller parts.
- Many people abandon their goals because the goals are too big and vague.
- Break goals down into smaller parts.
- Decide on concrete and measurable actions.
- Have solid ideas of what a successful completion of a goal looks like.
2. Commit time daily to goals.
- You do not have necessarily have to commit hours at a time to accomplish a goal, you just have to be focused.
- The greatest advances often occur as the sum total of a series of small efforts.
- Commit to spending at least 15 minutes a day on specific goals.
- Do something that moves you closer to accomplishing your goals.
3. Talk to yourself.
- Repetition is the root of success.
- Remind yourself of your goals every day.
- Turn your most important goal into a one-sentence afﬁrmation.
- Phrase it as though you have already accomplished your goal.
- Repeat regularly and it becomes your natural way of thinking.
4. Make a serious commitment to your goals.
- Make yourself accountable by telling a few trustworthy people of your plans.
- Hope they become interested in your progress and check in with you.
- This will inspire you to keep going and overcome obstacles.
- It is hard not to achieve goals when others are watching and encouraging us.
5. Write your goals down.
- If you write goals down, they are more likely to come to pass.
- Invest time and energy writing your goals down.
- Putting goals on paper makes you more committed to the outcome.
- Reread your goals list periodically.
- It is beneficial to cross items off when they are completed.
6. Review your goals and your progress weekly.
- Re-evaluate each goal as circumstances change.
- If your priorities change, drop goals from your list or add new ones.
- Ask yourself ‘why’ if you have not made progress; ﬁnd out what is in your way.
- Question if unachieved goals are still important to you.
7. If possible, ﬁnd a friend.
- Try to get friends to help out with your project.
- Offer to reciprocate and help your friend in return.
- Two can get more done in a shorter period of time than one.
- You hold each other accountable to accomplishing your goals.
8. Reward yourself.
- As you plan your goals, attach speciﬁc rewards to each goal.
- The reward should be commensurate with the amount of work.
- Be consistent about rewarding yourself for every accomplishment.
- Each completion deserves a reward, no matter how small.
9.Take time to enjoy success.
- Take time to acknowledge the fact that you have accomplished a goal.
- Don’t simply charge into the next task or in time, you will likely burn out.
- Remember the time and effort you invested.
- Savor the feeling of completion.
- Refresh and renew your enthusiasm before you continue.

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“Yes, you can be a dreamer and a doer, too, if you will remove one word from your vocabulary: impossible.” -Robert Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire, and begin at once, whether you’re ready or not, to put it into action.” -Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970)

“Whether or not you reach your goals in life depends entirely on how well you prepare for them and how badly you want them.” -Ronald McNair (1950 - 1986)

“Cultivate the habit of setting clearly-defined written goals; they are the road maps that guide you to your destination.” -Roy Bennett (Roy T. Bennett)

“You must keep your mind on the objective, not on the obstacle.” -William Randolph Hearst (1863 - 1951)

“The secret to productive goal setting is in establishing clearly defined goals, writing them down and then focusing on them several times a day with words, pictures, and emotions as if we’ve already achieved them.” -Denis Waitley (Denis E. Waitley (born 1933))

“Each step forward is one less step that has to be taken.” -Brian Adams

The goal shapes the plan.
The plan shapes the action.
The action achieves the results.
The results bring success.
-Author Unknown

“Goals are simply tools to focus your energy in positive directions, these can be changed as your priorities change, new ones added, and others dropped.” -O. Carl Simonton (Oscar Carl Simonton, Junior (1942 - 2009))

“Know what you want to do, hold the thought firmly, and do every day what should be done, and every sunset will see you that much nearer the goal.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“If you have no goals, another day of your life just passes you by.” -Author Unknown

“To reach a goal you have never before attained, you must do things you have never before done.” -Richard G. Scott (Richard Gordon Scott (1928 - 2015))

“Have the dogged determination to follow through to achieve your goal; regardless of circumstances or whatever other people say, think, or do.” -Paul J. Meyer (Paul James Meyer (1928 - 2009))

“You cannot trust everyone with your dreams, just a very few people. Beware of dream destroyers, those people who pick away at you and your ideas, people who only find fault and reason to criticize, people who keep themselves and others locked into small lives that lack any worthy attainments. Seek out those few individuals who can inspire and motivate you as you work to make your dreams come true.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Reduce your plan to writing . . . The moment you complete this, you will have definitely given concrete form to the intangible desire.” -Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970)

“Every minute you spend in your life is either spent bringing you closer to your goals or moving you away from your goals.” -Bo Bennett

“Even if I don’t reach all my goals, I’ve gone higher than I would have if I hadn’t set any.” -Danielle Fotopoulos (Danielle Ruth Garrett Fotopoulos (born 1976))

“You can achieve almost any goal if you just do what other successful people have done to achieve the same goals before you.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Review your goals twice every day in order to be focused on achieving them.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945))

“You become successful the moment you start moving toward a worthwhile goal.” -Author Unknown

“The secret of life is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything to, every minute of the day for the rest of your life. And the most important thing is, it must be something you cannot possibly do.” -Henry Moore (1898 - 1986)

“Arriving at one goal is the starting point to another.” -John Dewey (1859 - 1952)

“Find a peaceful place where you can make plans for the future. Clear away all distractions: everything within your visual field, everything in your periphery vision, all noises . . . now get to the work of considering what you want to achieve, writing it down in simple yet specific words.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1900 - 1944)

“You’ve got to think about big things while you’re doing small things, so that all the small things go in the right direction.” -Alvin Toffler (1928 - 2016)

“Don’t be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can’t cross a chasm in two small steps.” -David Lloyd George (1863 - 1945)

“You can do what you want to do, accomplish what you want to accomplish, attain any reasonable objective you may have in mind - not all of a sudden, perhaps not in one swift and sweeping act of achievement - but you can do it gradually, day by day and play by play, if you want to do it, if you work to do it, over a sufficiently long period of time.” -William E. Holler (William E. ‘Bill’ Holler)

“Keep true to the dreams of thy youth.” -Johann Friedrich von Schiller (1759 - 1805)

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.” -attributed to Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” -Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973)

“If you really want something, and really work hard, and take advantage of opportunities, and never give up, you will find a way.” -Jane Goodall (born 1934)

“Goals. There’s no telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There’s no telling what you can do when you believe in them. There’s no telling what will happen when you act upon them.” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . where you can learn some things that you can take with you throughout all of life . . .

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Railroads and Trains

8/19/2019

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According to model railroad enthusiasts, model trains and toy trains are two completely different things. Sometimes in life, it is best not to disagree.

Ricky: What do you call a train carrying a load of apples and bananas and oranges?
Martin: A tooty-fruity!

What is the difference between railroads and railways? The two words are frequently taken to mean the same thing, and are often used interchangeably. Most of the English-speaking world uses the term ‘railways,’ except for Americans, who have a preference for the term ‘railroads.’

Clarabelle: What is the most difficult train to catch?
Maribel: The 12:50, because it’s 10 to 1 if you catch it.

On a typical train, the locomotive is the vehicle that contains the engine or motor, the controls, and the engineer (driver or operator). The wheeled sections of trains that carry freight, passengers, or equipment are called cars. Cabooses were special cars that are mostly no longer in use, attached at the ends of trains, to carry train crewmembers, signaling devices, and repair tools and supplies.

Laura: I would like to take a train to Chicago.
Ticket Agent: I’m sorry, only qualified engineers are allowed to drive them.
Laura: Very well - may I go to Chicago by way of Buffalo?
Ticket Agent: I’m sorry; none of our buffalo go to Chicago.
Laura: Just let me have a round-trip ticket, please.
Ticket Agent: To where?
Laura: Back here, of course!

Railroad: A thing having two backbones and a thousand ribs.

A British commuter hopped on a train to London and told the conductor he was going to Doncaster. “We don’t stop at Doncaster on Wednesdays,” said the conductor. “But I’ll tell you what, mate. We slow down at Doncaster to go through the junction. I’ll open the door, and you hop off. Mind you, we’re going fast. Hit the ground running so you don’t get pulled in by the train’s wake.” At Doncaster, the door opened, and the commuter hit the ground running. He was running so fast that his momentum carried him forward to the car ahead. There, another conductor opened the door, pulled him on board and, as the train resumed speed, said, “You’re mighty lucky I saw you, mate. This train doesn’t stop at Doncaster on Wednesdays.”

At some point before modern trains, people laid down metal tracks on roadways and built wagons with metal wheels to roll over them. The tramway system initially ran on horsepower. Electric motors, supplied by power from cables strung overhead, would come later in time.

Marcello: What kind of train do ballerinas travel in?
Arturo: Tutu trains.

The very first train reached a top speed of 8 kilometers (5 miles) per hour.

Chuck: What kind of train has no wheels?
Norris: A train of thought.

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Get a Transfer

If you are on the Gloomy Line,
     Get a transfer.
If you’re inclined to fret and pine,
     Get a transfer.
Get off the track of doubt and gloom,
Get on the Sunshine Track - there’s room -
     Get a transfer.

If you’re on the Worry Train,
     Get a transfer.
You must not stay there and complain,
     Get a transfer.
The Cheerful Cars are passing through,
And there’s lots of room for you -
     Get a transfer.

If you’re on the Grouchy Track,
     Get a transfer.
Just take a Happy Special back,
     Get a transfer.
Jump on the train and pull the rope,
That lands you at the station Hope -
     Get a transfer.

by Author Unknown

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Would you believe it - giants have taken over the train!

The standard American railroad width of 1.4351 meters (4 feet and 8.5 inches) originated in the width of Roman war chariots. Former English subjects living in the United States of America designed the railroad system based on measurements of pre-railroad tramways built in England. The tramways were built using the same tools used to build wagons, which were also the same width. The reason wagons were built to that width is that otherwise, they would break during long treks across the old English roads. Those roads, built by the Romans, were full of ruts carved out by the wheels of Roman war chariots. All Roman chariots were built to a standard width of 1.4351 meters (4 feet and 8.5 inches), and so English wagons were built with wheels that would fit into those ruts. Thus, chariots of ancient Rome are the forerunners of modern trains.

Mary: What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum?
Marty: A chew-chew train

Railroads and Trains Facts
- Train track rails are made of steel, and train wheels are made of steel; the combination is literally steel on steel, a very efficient and effective mechanism.
- The two main types of trains are freight trains and passenger trains. Light rail trains are used mostly for passengers and sometimes small shipments of mail and packages. Light rail trains include electric trolleys and trams.
- Despite the constant improvements being made to air-filled, rubber-tire vehicles that move on asphalt and concrete roads, freight trains are still the best way to move extremely large and heavy items and bulk materials such as manufacturing equipment, mining and drilling equipment, military equipment, construction equipment, coal, and grain, particularly over long distances.
- Passenger trains and light rail can carry large numbers of people at high speeds between and within populated areas, which can help ease traffic congestion and provide transportation for people who are unable to drive, who have no vehicles, or who seek convenience.

Doctor Watson: How can you tell a train just went by?
Sherlock Holmes: You can see its tracks!

Doctor Watson: How do you find a missing train?
Sherlock Holmes: Follow its tracks!

“There’s a train at 4:04,” said Miss Jenny
“Four tickets I’ll take; have you any?”
     Said the man at the door,
     “Not four for 4:04,
For four for 4:04 is too many.”
-Author Unknown

The longest railway in the world is the Trans-Siberian Railroad, built between the years 1891 and 1916. It is a network of railways connecting European Russia with the Russian Far East provinces. It is 9,288 kilometers (5,787 miles) long and spans 8 time zones.

Stella: How many train conductors does it take to change a light bulb?
Lester: Only one, but it doesn’t help, because he punches a hole in the new light bulb.

Railroad Tracks and Trains Safety
- All railroad tracks, the land around them, and any bridges, tunnels, fences, walls, buildings, or other structures, and the trains themselves, are the property of individuals, corporations (companies), public utilities, government agencies, or other organizations or entities. There are legal penalties for trespassing on someone else’s property, including monetary fines and jail time.
- Train conductors (drivers or operators) may or may not announce their presence by sounding the train horn or whistle or by having the vehicle lights on. Even when they do, because of auditory and optical illusions and the wide range of speeds at which trains run, a person can be fooled into thinking that a train is further away than it actually is, or not even be aware that a train is on a track headed for them.
- If a person walks on railroad tracks or alongside them as a shortcut to someplace, and falls and gets hurt, or is injured in some other way, he or she will probably be there for a very long time before anyone comes to the rescue, if anyone ever comes at all.
- When a person is hit by a train, he or she will not likely survive.
- Riding on a train without paying the fare or without permission, is also a form of trespassing and fare theft, and once again, trespassing is a crime with civil and criminal penalties.
- Railroad tracks and trains are a serious business, and not places to play or playthings. There are plenty of other places for people to be that are better and safer, such as sidewalks, parks, home, friends’ homes, relatives’ homes, libraries, public spaces, schools, jobs (workplaces), museums, galleries, stores, restaurants, and so forth.

The Ombley-Wombley

Once upon a railroad track
     The Ombley-Wombley sat.
Rumble clang,
     Jumble jang,
Crumble bang -
     And that’s the end of that.

by Peter Wesley-Smith

The highest railway in the world is in Peru, where the Central Railway climbs to 4,784 meters (15,694 feet) in altitude in the Galera tunnel, at a location 174 kilometers (108 miles) from Lima. Tourists take it to get to the world-renowned ruins of ancient Machu Picchu.

At a station stop, the railroad’s president walked up to the locomotive and spoke to the engineer. “You were going 65 miles per hour and the speed limit is only 60 miles per hour, I saw it myself on the speedometer in the business car!” After a heated exchange, the engineer finally said, “You couldn’t possibly have been going 65, my speedometer said 60 miles per hour - and we never saw you go by us!”

Ernie: What kind of ears do trains have?
Arnie: Engine-ears. (Engineers.)

So you just woke up from your nap . . . long slumbers can have strange consequences . . . just look at how much the world has changed while you slept . . . even trains are not the same!

“Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” -J. Paul Getty

Siderodromophobia is a persistent fear of railroads or of trains. Oh, my good-golly, what if I board a train and it never stops and I can never get off it! I’ll be stuck on the train forever!

Trains and Railroads Quiz
- From what material are train tracks and train wheels made?
- What are the two main types of trains, based on what they carry?
- Why should you never walk on, or play near, railroad tracks?

“Know the name of the station you’re headed for. It’s a help in catching the right train.” -Author Unknown: “Agents Record” (1915), Volume 10, Issue 5, page 4, ‘The Real Salesman’ (“Agents Record” is a publication of the National Casualty Company)

Trains and Railroads Quiz Answers
- Train tracks and train wheels are made of steel.
- The two main types of trains, based on what they carry, are freight trains and passenger trains.
- Walking on, or playing near, railroad tracks is unsafe because trains travel at high speeds and usually are not able to stop in time to avoid hitting a person. Additionally, the tracks can cause a person who tries to walk on them to trip, fall, and be injured.

Clyde: What is the difference between a railroad guard and a teacher?
Claude: One minds the trains, and the other trains the mind.

Ask your know-it-all friend, “So, which was invented first: the train, or the railroad tracks?”

Problem: Trains travel from one town to another town all day always on the same track, always going nonstop, and always at the same speed. The 12:00 noon train took 80 minutes to complete the trip but the 4:00 p.m. train took an hour and 20 minutes. Why?
Solution: 80 minutes is the same as an hour and 20 minutes, so both trains ran in the same amount of time.

Overheard: No, I did not miss my train. I just chased it out of the station because I didn’t like the looks of it!

“Dear Mr. President: The canal system of this country is being threatened by a new form of transportation known as ‘railroads’ . . . As you may well know, Mr. President, ‘railroad’ carriages are pulled at the enormous speed of 15 miles per hour by ‘engines’ which, in addition to endangering life and limb of passengers, roar and snort their way through the countryside, setting fire to crops, scaring the livestock, and frightening women and children.” -Martin Van Buren (1830)

Passenger to railroad engineer: “What’s the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late?”
Railroad engineer: “How would we know they were late, if we didn’t have a schedule?”

This is MFOL! . . . all aboard that’s coming aboard! Choo, choo! Chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a! Choo, choo! Clickety-clack! Clickety-clack!

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Scarecrows

8/18/2019

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Scarecrow: Guardian of the Garden.

Scarecrows

We’re the farmer’s scarecrows
     We scare away the birds,
We keep the farmer’s corn safe
     Without any words;
But when Hallowe’en comes
     We jump out of the ground
And we scare the boys and girls
     When they come walking ’round.
Boo!

by Author Unknown: sung to the same tune as that of “Sing a Song of Sixpence”

Apparently, scarecrows are effective at scaring not only birds, but people as well, which may be why they are a feature in Halloween holiday decorations and in scary movies.

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The Scarecrow

The farmer made a scarecrow
     And stuffed it full of straw.
He put it in the cornfield,
     but the crows laughed, “Haw-caw.”

One crow sat on Scarecrow’s hat.
     He was not scared at all.
That scarecrow did not scare
     A single crow away all Fall!

by Author Unknown

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Hey, wait a second . . . that scarecrow appears to be a crow . . .

Question: A scarecrow is one of the characters in the movie, “The Wizard of Oz” (1939). What was the scarecrow seeking?
Answer: The Scarecrow in the “Wizard of Oz” wanted the Wizard to give him a brain.

Scarecrow Joel

There once was a scarecrow name Joel
Who couldn’t scare crows, save his soel.
     But the crows put the scare
     Into Joel. He’s not there
Any more. That’s his hat on the poel.

by David McCord (David Thompson Watson McCord (1897 - 1997)

Many different ways exist to make a scarecrow. A typical scarecrow with a human shape can be made by sticking a pole in the ground in a farm field or garden. A shorter cross-stick is attached to it and becomes the arms. Alternatively, a dummy can be made from stuffing old clothes with straw. A head can be made by stuffing an old burlap sack or pillowcase with straw, and then attaching a hat. A scarecrow scares away crows and other birds that eat crops. Also effective is a shiny metal pie tin or pan hung from a rope tied between two poles or to a fence; a slight breeze will cause it to move, attracting the eyes of birds and causing them to take flight. Similarly, city folks are known to use large plastic owls to scare away pigeons.

Scarecrow: Cop of the cornfield.

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The Scarecrow

Five fat blackbirds,
     Sitting in the straw.
Laughing at the scarecrow,
     Caw! Caw! Caw!

Five fat blackbirds,
     Eating all the corn.
Silly old birds,
     It’s going to storm.

Poor sad scarecrow,
     Sitting on a fence.
“Boo!” yelled the scarecrow,
     Away they went!

by Author Unknown

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Question: Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Peace Prize?
Answer: He was outstanding in his field.

The Scarecrow

Scarecrow standing in the field
     On a bright and sunny day,
Don’t forget to do your job.
     Scare the hungry crows away!

by Author Unknown

Scarecrow: One who takes as a compliment the words, “You’re scary.”

The Scarecrow

The scarecrow stands
With hanging hands,
Beside the farmer’s stile.
He scares the jay and crow away.
With just a painted smile.

by Author Unknown

Say this tongue twister three times fast: Seth said some serious scarecrows scare crows silly.

Further fantastically fascinating frivolity follows next . . . on MFOL!

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Shoes and Footwear

8/14/2019

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These shoes are absolutely the cat’s meow . . .

Shoe store sign: Limited Time Offer - Buy Two Shoes - And Get A Third Shoe Free!

A man walked into a shoe store, and tried on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asked the sales clerk. “Well . . . they feel a bit tight,” replied the man. The assistant bent down and looked at the shoes and the man’s feet. “Try pulling out on the tongue,” offered the clerk. “Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth,” the man said.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

The earliest known footwear is a pair of sandals that date back to about 7,000 B.C.E. However, anatomical analysis of early humans seems to indicate that we may have begun wearing shoes as early as 40,000 years ago. Before then, we ran around barefoot and ate rocks. What’s that . . . oh, apparently, early humans did not eat rocks . . . just wild plants, raw meat, and bugs. Aren’t you glad you wear shoes?

Dustin: Do your shoes have holes in them?
Austin: No.
Dustin: Then how did you get your feet into them?

“If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.” -Sue Grafton

Edith: Who always goes to bed wearing shoes?
Edna: A horse, of course.

Shoes all over the world were identical until 1822, when left-footed and right-footed shoes were made for the first time in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States of America.

Overheard: “I have enough shoes.”

If the shoe fits, it must be some kind of trick - don’t be fooled!

Ida: What has a tongue but cannot speak?
Emma: A shoe.

Overheard: Those shoes certainly make you look ‘well-heeled’!

Sonya: Why did the two shoes not get along?
Sonny: Because they both thought they were ‘right.’

The boots Neil Armstrong wore when he walked on the Moon are still floating around somewhere in outer space. He had to leave his boots there so that he could bring as many Moon rocks as possible back to Earth.

If the shoe fits, buy a pair in every color.

Sabrina: What runs around all day and then lies on the floor with its tongue hanging out?
Katrina: Your shoe!

In the silent movie, “The Gold Rush” (August 1925), comedic actor Charlie Chaplin actually ate his shoe. He portrayed his signature character, ‘The Tramp’ as a gold prospector who was trapped in a cabin during a snowstorm. Starving, he decided to boil his boot and eat the laces like spaghetti. Fortunately for Mr. Chaplin’s digestive system, the shoe used in the movie was made of licorice candy provided by the American Licorice Company.

“High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))

Tutor: Can you name at least six things you can wear on your feet that begin with the letter ‘s’?
Student: Sandals, shoes, skates, skis, slippers, sneakers, snowshoes, socks, stilts, and stockings.

Many years ago, two salesmen were sent by a British shoe manufacturer to Africa to investigate and report on market potential. The first salesman reported back, “There is no potential here - nobody wears shoes.” The second salesman reported back, “There is massive potential here - nobody wears shoes.”

Joe’s Shoes

The shoes of old Eskimo Joe
Fell apart as he walked in the snow.
“Have you needle and thread?”
I enquired, but he said,
“No, igloo them, not sew them, you know.”

by Author Unknown

If the shoe fits your foot, it will not fit your budget.

Apparently, bears never wear shoes, as they prefer to gallop around in just their ‘bear feet.’

“I have tennis shoes with little rhinestones that I slip on if I exercise. But I always wear heels, even around the house. I’m such a short little thing, I can’t reach my kitchen cabinets.” -Dolly Parton (born 1946)

“A man can walk without shoes, but shoes can’t walk without a man.” -George Daly

Squeakers: Shoes that mice wear.

Gregory: Who wears two pairs of shoes, both at the same time?
Geoffrey: Mules - as do horses, ponies, and mammoth donkeys used for riding.

“You cannot put the same shoe on every foot.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

If the shoe fits, you are asleep and having a dream about shoes.

“The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.” -C. G. Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961))

Melody: What is made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
Clarabelle: A shoe.

A typical pair of casual shoes will last for about 500 miles of walking.

If the shoe fits, it must be some kind of magical shoe.

“A handsome shoe often pinches the foot.” -Author Unknown

Presto: What results from wearing tight shoes.

Al: What goes, “Thump, thump, thump, squish! Thump, thump, thump, squish!”?
Fred: An elephant wearing a soggy tennis shoe.

“Give a girl the right pair of shoes and she’ll conquer the world.” -Marilyn Monroe (pseudonym of Norma Jean Mortenson Baker (1926 - 1962))

“Never buy shoes early in the day when your feet are their smallest.” -Frances Patiky Stein

The best time to buy shoes is when you are cranky and tired from walking and standing around all day, say for example, after work or school. This is because your feet are likely to be at their largest at this time of the day. That is right, your feet change in size throughout the day. It is shocking, we know. In the morning, you arise with your feet well-rested, but as the day progresses, you put a lot of pressure on your feet, causing them to spread out and swell up. If you try on shoes at the start of the day, well, that is when your feet are small, and if you were to continue to wear that same pair of shoes all day long, by the end of the day, your feet would not be happy, because they will be crammed into shoes that are too tiny.

Maxwell: Why do cobblers (shoemakers) go to Heaven?
Maxine: Because they have good soles.

“If the shoe fits, it’s too expensive.” -Adrienne Gusoff

A man walked into a shoe store and asked for a pair of shoes in size eight. The well-trained salesman said, “But sir, you need an eleven or an eleven-and-a-half.” “Just bring me a size eight,” the man said. The sales guy brought them out and the man stuffed his feet into them and stood up in obvious pain. He turned to the salesman and said, “I’ll take them. You see, I have lost my house to the tax collector, I live with my mother-in-law, my daughter ran off with her no-account boyfriend, and my business has filed for bankruptcy. The only pleasure I have left is at the end of the day when I go home and take my shoes off.”

“Sure, I may walk around as if everything is fine . . . but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. I think that my shoe is trying to eat my sock, and that is a scary thought.” -Author Unknown

Darlene: What did the shoe say to the gum?
Darla: “Stick with me and we’ll go places!”

Shoe Facts
- The bottom of a shoe that touches the ground is called the ‘sole.’
- The part of a shoe above the sole is called the ‘upper.’
- The plastic casings on the ends of shoelaces that prevent them from unraveling are called ‘aglets.’
- The holes in shoes that laces are fed through are called ‘eyelets.’
- The tongue of a shoe will not lick your feet.
- The edge around the opening of a shoe is called the ‘collar.’

If the shoe fits, it’s obviously on somebody else’s foot.

Many people do not know that feet can increase by one-and-a-half shoe sizes or more throughout their lifetimes. A person’s feet can flatten and spread out as he or she ages, causing a permanent increase in both length and width. Additionally, changes in weight, surgery, amount of time spent standing and walking on the feet, lifting and moving heavy items all day long and other physical exertion at work and in play, and pregnancy can cause foot size to increase. You may want to consider this the next time you go shoe shopping, especially if you have been torturing yourself by trying to wear the same shoe size now that you wore years ago as a teenager or a young adult. Try on slightly larger size shoes in slightly bigger widths, perhaps with more toe room. Your feet will thank you!

“I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside, ‘Made around the corner.’” -Frank Carson

Shoes called sneakers were first produced in about 1800. They had a simple rubber sole design, with the name ‘sneaker’ coming from the fact that their soles are so smooth and yielding that they hardly make a sound on the ground.

Hubert: What kind of shoes do detectives wear?
Hugh: Sneakers!

Another name for a detective is a ‘gumshoe,’ because detectives have traditionally worn soft-soled shoes.

If the shoe fits, buy it.

“It is totally impossible to be well-dressed in cheap shoes.” -Hardy Amies (Edwin Hardy Amies (1909 - 2003))

Otis: What does a shoemaker use to repair shoes?
Otto: Toe-nails.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pear.
Pear, who?
Pear of shoes.

Shoestring: What every self-made businessperson claims to have built a business on.

You can tell a lot about a person’s character by the shoes he or she wears.

Need money? How about this zany idea: Become a ‘shoe reading’ expert. People come to you, you look at their shoes, you tell them what their shoes reveal about them, and you then advise them on what kind of shoes to buy if they want people to have a different opinion of them based on their shoes. This idea makes a lot more sense than palm reading and other methods of ‘fortune telling.’

Overheard: So many shoes . . . and only two feet.

“Your shoes are only as good as the laces they’re attached to.” -Greg Sampson

Norma: Why did the shoelaces arrive late at the party?
Nora: Because they got all tied up earlier.

If the shoe fits, it is too good to be true.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe . . . rumor has it that it once belonged to a giant who lived at the top of a beanstalk . . . the old woman was walking along, looking for affordable housing in a safe neighborhood for herself and her children, when all of a sudden, a really big shoe dropped out of the sky. Aren’t fairy tales fun?

If the shoe fits, buy the store.

Emma: What is six feet long, green, and has two tongues?
Emily: The Jolly Green Giant’s sneakers!

Shoes Quiz
- What features should a person look for in a shoe?
- What are arch supports?
- What is a padded collar on a shoe?
- What are aglets and what is their purpose?
- Which of the following shoe toe shapes is best for your feet: pointed, squared, or rounded?
- In what types of jobs do people need steel-toed boots or shoes?
- Describe the perfect pair of shoes.
- What items make up a shoeshine kit?
- What are sensible shoes?

“I stand corrected!” said the man in the orthopedic shoes.

Shoe store sign: Buy One Shoe - Get Second Shoe Free!

The ‘boat shoe’ was invented by Paul Sperry. He modeled the sole of the shoe after his dog’s paw.

Ernie: What did one shoe say to the other shoe?
Bernie: “You stay here, and I’ll go on ahead to see what’s underfoot.”

“Shoes divide men into three classes. Some men wear their father’s shoes. They make no decisions of their own. Some are unthinkingly shod by the crowd. The strong man is his own cobbler. He insists on making his own choices. He walks in his own shoes.” -S. D. Gordon

Here’s a great title for a song: “I’ve Got the Squeaky Shoes Blues, Yeah!” Now we just need you to write the lyrics, or words, to go along with the song title.

“Shoes speak louder than words.” -Author Unknown

Moses: What kind of shoes are made from banana skins?
Moe: Slippers!

If the shoe fits, you have somehow been magically transported to a fairy tale land.

This just in: There is more to life than shoes. We are kidding, of course!

Riddle:
I run over fields and woods all day;
Under a bed at night, I wait not alone
With long tongue hanging out,
I will be filled in the morn.
What am I?
Solution:
I am a shoe.

If the shoe fits, you are daydreaming again . . . time to get back to work.

Geoffrey: What has no feet but wears out shoes?
George: A sidewalk.

This is MFOL! . . . and that’s everything we have cobbled together about shoes . . . What’s that? . . . Our shoes are calling to us . . . seems they want to go out walking . . . maybe we will see you out there . . .

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Failures and Successes

8/8/2019

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Violet: May I ask you the secret of your success?
Iris: There is no easy street. You simply jump at your opportunity.
Violet: But how can I tell when my opportunity comes?
Iris: You can’t. You’ve just got to keep on jumping.

“There is no point at which you can say, ‘Well, I’m successful now, I might as well take a nap.’” -Carrie Fisher (born 1956)

“In public, we say the race is to the strongest; in private, we know that a lopsided man runs the fastest along the little side hills of success.” -Frank M. Colby (Frank Moore Colby (1865 - 1925))

“I am not a failure if I don’t succeed; I am successful because I tried.” -Susan Jeffers (1938 - 2012))

“You never become a howling success by just howling.” -Bob Harrington (1950 - 1992)

“The secret of success is to triple your rate of failure.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“How can they say my life isn’t a success? Have I not for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?” -Logan Pearsall Smith (1865 - 1946)

“Success is not about ‘who you know,’ but rather ‘who knows you.’” -Author Unknown

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try a grin!” -Author Unknown

“You are the only person who can really label what you do as a success or a failure.” -Author Unknown

“Failures and setbacks are ingredients for a great success story.” -Author Unknown

“Successful and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities. They vary in their desires to reach their potential.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

Judgement

Before God’s footstool to confess
     A poor soul knelt, and bowed his head;
“I failed,” he cried. The Master said,
     “Thou didst thy best - that is success!”

by Author Unknown

“Drifting through life without aim or purpose is the first cause of failure.” -Author Unknown

“I owe all my success in life to having been always a quarter of an hour beforehand.” -Horatio Nelson (1758 - 1805)

“Success is difficult, it requires enormous effort. Those who can work through the struggle become successful.” -Jackie Joyner (Jacqueline Joyner-Kersee (born 1962))

“Success and failure. We think of them as opposites, but they’re really not. They’re companions - the hero and the sidekick.” -Laurence Shames (born 1951)

“No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road, turn back.” -Author Unknown: Turkish proverb

“If at first you don’t succeed, you’re running about average.” -M. H. Alderson (Miles Henry Alderson (1841 - 1924))

“You have to look successful in order to be successful.” -Author Unknown

If I should win, let it be by the code,
     With my faith and my honor held high,
But if I should lose, let me be the first to stand by the road,
     And cheer as the winner walks by.
-Sam Haskell: “Promises I Made My Mother” (April 2009) autobiography

“What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?” -Robert Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“For success, take the ‘t’ out of can’t.” -Author Unknown

“Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“Success: All it takes is all you’ve got.” -Author Unknown

“Notice the difference between what happens when a man says to himself, ‘I have failed three times,’ and what happens when he says, ‘I am a failure.’” -S. I. Hayakawa (Samuel Ichiye Hayakawa (1906 - 1992))

“Success is the maximum utilization of the ability that you have.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Success comes in cans; failure comes in can’ts.” -Author Unknown

“Success comes to many men because they were deprived of advantages others had.” -Author Unknown

“Failure is the path of least persistence.” -Author Unknown

“The next best thing to winning is losing! At least you’ve been in the race.” -Nellie Hershey Tullis (Nellie Helen Hershey Tullis (1872 - 1964))

“The secret to success is to start from scratch and keep on scratching.” -Author Unknown

“Keep steadily before you the fact that all true success depends at last upon yourself.” -Theodore T. Munger (Theodore Thornton Munger (1830 - 1910)): as quoted in Elizabeth P. Bemis: “Primary Plans” (1909), Volume 7, page 54

“Failure is the first step towards success.” -Author Unknown

“The common denominator of success - the secret of success of every man who has ever been successful - lies in the fact that he formed the habit of doing things that failures don’t like to do.” -Albert E. N. Gray: speech (1940) in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States of America, at the annual convention of the National Association of Life Underwriters

“Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying the basic fundamentals.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Achieve success in any area of life by identifying the optimum strategies and repeating them until they become habits.” -Charles J. Givens (Charles J. ‘Chuck’ Givens (1941 - 1998))

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.” -Lloyd Jones (born 1955): “Mister Pip” (2006) novel

“Ninety-nine percent of success is built on failure.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day, while failure is simply a few errors in judgement, repeated every day. It is the accumulative weight of our disciplines and our judgements that leads us to either fortune or failure.” -Author Unknown

“The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“If at first you do succeed, try something harder.” -Ann Landers (Esther Pauline Friedman Lederer (1918 - 2002))

“Failures are the stepping stones by which we reach success.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“The common idea that success spoils people by making them vain, egotistic, and self-complacent is erroneous; on the contrary it makes them, for the most part, humble, tolerant, and kind. Failure makes people bitter and cruel.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)): “The Summing Up” (1938), page 182

“You always pass failure on the way to success.” -Mickey Rooney (1920 - 2014)

“The most unfortunate thing that happens to a person who fears failure is that he limits himself by becoming afraid to try anything new.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

“One fails forward toward success.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“An Unfailing Success Plan: At each day’s end write down the six most important things to do tomorrow; number them in order of importance, and then do them.” -Author Unknown

“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently.” -Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)

“Failure is success if we learn from it.” -Malcolm S. Forbes (Malcolm Stevenson Forbes (1919 - 1990))

“Ask yourself the secret of your success. Listen to your answer, and practice it.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“Failure is not falling down; failure is when you don’t get back up.” -Author Unknown

“For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Book of Proverbs,’ chapter 24, verse 16

“Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall.” -Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774)

“Failure? I never encountered it. All I ever met were temporary setbacks.” -Dottie Walters

“One of the commonest mistakes and one of the costliest is thinking that success is due to some genius, some magic - something or other which we do not possess. Success is generally due to holding on, and failure to letting go. You decide to learn a language, study music, take a course of reading, train yourself physically. Will it be success or failure? It depends upon how much pluck and perseverance that word ‘decide’ contains. The decision that nothing can overrule, the grip that nothing can detach, will bring success. Remember the Chinese proverb, ‘With time and patience, the mulberry leaf becomes satin.’” -Maltbie D. Babcock (Maltbie Davenport Babcock (1858 - 1901))

“Failure is an event, never a person.” -William D. Brown (William David Brown (born 1936)): “Welcome Stress!” (1983)

“We are all self-made but only the successful admit it.” -Author Unknown

“Failure is God’s way of saying, ‘Excuse me, you’re moving in the wrong direction.’” -Author Unknown

“The most successful people are not necessarily the most popular.” -Author Unknown

“There is only one success . . . to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)): “Where the Blue Begins” (1922)

“If you could find out what the most successful people did in any area and then you did the same thing over and over, you’d eventually get the same results they do.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“He who has never failed somewhere, that man cannot be great.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)

“Success consists of doing the common things of life uncommonly well.” -Author Unknown

“I couldn’t wait for success . . . so I went ahead without it.” -Jonathan Winters (Jonathan Harshman Winters III (1925 - 2013))

“It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Behind every success is a succession of failures.” -Rick Beneteau

“I can give you a six-word formula for success: ‘Think things through - then follow through.’” -Eddie Rickenbacker (1890 - 1973)

“Supposing you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” -Mary Pickford (born Gladys Louise Smith, also known as Gladys Marie Pickford (1893 - 1979)): as quoted in Carolyn Warner: “The Last Word - A Treasury of Women’s Quotes” (1992)

“Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.” -Joyce Brothers (Joyce Diane Brothers (1927 - 2013))

“Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” -Louis E. Boone (Louis Eugene Boone (1941 - 2005))

“If you fail, never give up, because FAIL means First Attempt In Learning. End is not the end. END means Effort Never Dies. If you get no as an answer, remember NO means Next Opportunity. Positive thinking!” -Author Unknown

“What is called failure is still partial success, because you tried - and success can come only through trying. To achieve complete success, just keep trying.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Behind every successful man there are a lot of unsuccessful years.” -Bob Brown

“A failure is not always a mistake; it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.” -B. F. Skinner (Burrhus Frederic Skinner (1904 - 1990))

“Success is waking up in the morning, whoever you are, wherever you are, however old or young, and bounding out of bed because there’s something out there you love to do, that you believe in, that you’re good at - something that’s bigger than you are, and you can hardly wait to get at it again today.” -Whit Hobbs

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“Success is dependent on effort.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“Success isn’t how far you get, but the distance you travel from where you start.” -Author Unknown

“You are successful the moment you start moving toward a worthwhile goal.” -Chester Floyd Carlson (1906 - 1968)

“It is infinitely more exciting to live a life of catastrophic failures than a life of could-haves, should-haves, and would-haves.” -M. H. Meng (Moh Hon Meng)

Now what could be better than that . . . except possibly what is coming up next . . . on MFOL!

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Inquisitiveness and Curiosity

8/1/2019

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“Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness.” -Bryant McGill (born 1969)

“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” -Carl Edward Sagan (1934 - 1996)

“I would rather live in a world where life is surrounded by mystery, than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969): “Riverside Sermons”

Inquisitive Lad

There once was a boy of Bagdad,
An inquisitive sort of a lad.
He said, “I will see
If a sting has a bee.”
And he very soon found that it had!

by Author Unknown

“A good scientist is a person in whom the childhood quality of perennial curiosity lingers on. Once he gets an answer, he has other questions.” -Frederick Seitz (1911 - 2008)

Patrice: You’re a real curiosity - did you know that?
Shaun: Well, thank you, though I doubt if you shall ever solve me.

“The Quest Quotient has always interested me more than the Intelligence Quotient.” -Eugene S. Wilson (Eugene S. ‘Bill’ Wilson (1905 - 1981)): as quoted in “Reader’s Digest” (April 1968)

“Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.” -James Stephens

“Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton asked why.” -Bernard Baruch (1870 - 1965)

“Be curious always! For knowledge will not acquire you; you must acquire it.” -Sudie Back (Sudie E. Back)

“Leave no stone unturned.” -Euripides (484 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says: ‘Leave no stone unturned.’” -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)

“The true delight is in the finding out rather than in the knowing.” -Isaac Asimov (1919 - 1992)

“Look and you will find it - what is unsought will go undetected.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“Curiosity is a willing, a proud, an eager confession of ignorance.” -S. Leonard Rubinstein (Samuel Leonard Rubinstein (1922 - 2013)): “Writing: A Habit of Mind” (1972)

“Be aware of wonder. And then remember the, “Dick and Jane,” books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - look.” -Robert Fulghum (Robert Lee Fulghum (born 1937))

“Not to know is bad; not to wish to know is worse.” -Author Unknown

“Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (12 March 1751)

“I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“A generous and elevated mind is distinguished by nothing more certainly than an eminent degree of curiosity.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“There are two sorts of curiosity - the momentary and the permanent. The momentary is concerned with the odd appearance on the surface of things. The permanent is attracted by the amazing and consecutive life that flows on beneath the surface of things.” -Robert Lynd (Robert Wilson Lynd (1879 - 1949))

“Curiosity is the one thing invincible in nature.” -Freya Stark (Freya Madeline Stark (1893 - 1993))

“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.” -Author Unknown

“The greatest virtue of man is perhaps curiosity.” -Anatole France (pseudonym of Jacques Anatole François Thibault (1844 - 1924))

“Curiosity killed the cat.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in the “Los Angeles Times” (22 August 1901) newspaper

Overheard: ‘Curiosity killed the cat’ is a common saying, but until someone shows me the record of the incident, I shall be disinclined to believe it.

“The place where you lose the trail is not necessarily the place where it ends.” -Tom Brown, Junior

Amy: Who crossed the road and left everyone wanting an explanation?
Eva: The chicken.

“The first and simplest emotion which we discover in the human mind, is curiosity.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

“Satisfaction of one’s curiosity is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life.” - Linus Pauling (1901 - 1994)

“Things that people learn purely out of curiosity can have a revolutionary effect on human affairs.” -Frederick Seitz (1911 - 2008): in an interview (3 September 1997) for the George C. Marshall Institute

A ‘clue’ originally meant a ball of thread . . . hence, one ‘unravels’ the clues of a mystery.

“Isn’t it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive - it’s such an interesting world. It wouldn’t be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There’d be no scope for imagination then, would there?” -L. M. Montgomery (Lucy Maud Montgomery (1874 - 1942)): “Anne of Green Gables” (June 1908), Chapter 2; line spoken by fictional character Anne

“‘Curiouser and curiouser!’ cried Alice.” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Alice in Wonderland” (1865), Chapter II

This is MFOL! . . . the website for anyone who has ever been told that he or she is a real curiosity . . . which is what we happily are . . .

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Adventure and Exploration

7/30/2019

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Ernest Henry Shackleton placed the above advertisement in “The Times” (29 December 1913) newspaper of London to recruit men, and in 1914, 28 men set out on the Imperial Trans-Antarctic Expedition.

“You know all those things you’ve always wanted to do? You should go do them.” -Author Unknown

“Everyone needs a friend that will call and say, ‘Get dressed, we’re going on an adventure.’“ -Author Unknown

“Never say ‘no’ to adventures. Always say ‘yes’; otherwise you’ll lead a very dull life.” -Ian Fleming (Ian Lancaster Fleming (1908 - 1964)): “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang: The Magical Car” (22 October 1964)

Flamingo: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Skylark: She was excited at the possibility of new adventures.

“If we were meant to stay in one place, we’d have roots instead of feet.” -Author Unknown

You’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So . . . get on your way!
-Doctor Seuss (pseudonym of Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 - 1991))

“Maybe it won’t work out. But maybe seeing if it does will be the best adventure ever.” -Author Unknown

“One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.” -André Gide (André Paul Guillaume Gide (1869 - 1951)): “Les faux-monnayeurs” (English: “The Counterfeiters”) (1925)

“I can’t say as ever I was lost, but I was bewildered once for three days.” -Daniel Boone (1734 - 1820), (June 1819), as quoted in Chester Harding: “My Egotistigraphy” (1866)

“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are for.” -John A. Shedd (John Augustus Shedd (1859 - 1928)): “Salt from My Attic” (1928), page 20 (similar quotation attributed to William G. T. Shedd)

“If you’re not lost, you’re not much of an explorer.” -John Perry Barlow (born 1947)

“You are about to begin the hero’s journey. Travel well on the quest. A life of more is your birthright. Know the vast resources that reside in you and are provided for you in the world. You have raised the battle cry of, ‘There must be more than this.’” -Judith Wright

“To forever new frontiers!” -Author Unknown

“They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626)

“Adventure can be real happiness.” -Author Unknown

“A man practices the art of adventure when he breaks the chain of routine and renews his life through reading new books, traveling to new places, making new friends, taking up new hobbies and adopting new viewpoints.” -Wilfred A. Peterson

“The adventure is just beginning.” -Susan Greenfield

“Go everywhere, do everything.” -Author Unknown

“The world is not in your books and maps. It’s out there.” -J. R. R. Tolkien (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien (1892 - 1973)): “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” (28 November 2012) movie; words spoken by character Gandalf

“Adventure awaits.” -Author Unknown

“Call me Ishmael. Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world . . .” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891): “Moby Dick” (18 October 1851)

“Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.” -Author Unknown

“It’s when you’re safe at home that you wish you were having an adventure. When you’re having an adventure you wish you were safe at home.” -Thornton Wilder (Thornton Niven Wilder (1897 - 1975))

“Time for a new adventure.” -Author Unknown

There was a young lady named Laura,
Who went to the wilds of Angora,
She came back on a goat
With a beautiful coat,
And notes of the fauna and flora.
-William Cosmo Monkhouse

“Where the old tracks are lost, new country is revealed with its wonders.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

“Never forget that life can only be nobly inspired and rightly lived if you take it bravely and gallantly, as a splendid adventure in which you are setting out into an unknown country, to face many a danger, to meet many a joy, to find many a comrade, to win and lose many a battle.” -Annie Besant (1847 - 1933)

“Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)); attributed and possibly apocryphal

“The world is yours to explore.” -Author Unknown

“Whoever starts out toward the unknown must consent to venture alone.” -André Gide (André Paul Guillaume Gide (1869 - 1951))

“Grand adventures await those who are willing to turn the corner.” -Author Unknown

Who never walks, save where he sees men’s tracks
Makes no discoveries.
-Josiah Gilbert Holland (1819 - 1881): “Kathrina: Her Life and Mine” (1867), part 3

“And then I realized adventures are the best way to learn.” -Author Unknown

“One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure.” -William A. Feather (William Arthur Feather (1889 - 1981))

“The growth of the human mind is still high adventure, in many ways, the highest adventure on Earth.” -Norman Cousins (1915 - 1990)

Mission top secret,
Destination unknown -
Don’t even know
When we’re coming home.
-Author Unknown: American military double-time marching cadence

“Can’t keep still all day . . . I like adventures, and I’m going to find one.” -Louisa May Alcott (1832 - 1888): “Little Women” (volume 1, 1868 and volume 2, 1869)

Where to Find Adventure and Where to Explore
- The bottom of the ocean.
- Libraries and museums.
- Wilderness areas including forests, deserts, tundra, and woodlands.
- Beautify your neighborhood.
- Interests such as mathematics and biology.
- Start a business or nonprofit venture.
Where else can people find adventure and explore?

“You should know there is adventure in simply being among those we love and the things we love, and beauty, too.” -Lloyd Alexander

“The explorers of the past were great men and we should honor them. But let us not forget that their spirit lives on. It is still not hard to find a man who will adventure for the sake of a dream or one who will search, for the pleasure of searching, not for what he may find.” -Edmund Hillary (Edmund Percival Hillary (1919 - 2008))

“The only life worth living is the adventurous life. Of such a life a dominate characteristic is that it is unafraid. It is unafraid of what people think. Like Columbus, it dares not only to assert a belief but live in the face of contrary opinion. It does not adopt either its pace or its objectives to the pace and objectives of its neighbors. It thinks its own thoughts, it reads its own books, it develops its own hobbies, and it is governed by its own conscience. The herd may graze where it pleases, but he who lives the adventurous life will remain unafraid when he finds himself alone.” -Raymond B. Fosdick

“You must go on adventures to find out where you belong.” -Sue Fitzmaurice

“Wherever you go, go with all your heart.” -Confucius (K’ung Fu-tzu or K’ung Ch’iu (about 551 B.C.E. - about 479 B.C.E.))

“Among my favorite half-dozen topics in the field of Victorian female explorers, the intrepid women who packed up their parasols and petticoats and roamed the world in search of adventure. Some were scientists, some artists, some unabashed curiosity-seekers who simply went out to see what they could see.” -Deanna Raybourn

“To young men contemplating a voyage I would say go.” -Joshua Slocum

“Old men ought to be explorers.” -T. S. Eliot (Thomas Stearns Eliot (1888 - 1965)): “Four Quartets,” ‘East Coker’ (1940)

“It is only in adventure that some people succeed in knowing themselves - in finding themselves.” -André Gide (André Paul Guillaume Gide (1869 - 1951))

“Adventure is worthwhile in itself.” -Amelia Earhart (Amelia Mary Earhart (1897 - 1937))

“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” -Helen Keller (Helen Adams Keller (1880 - 1968))

“It’s a magical world, Hobbes, ol’ buddy . . . Let’s go exploring!” -Bill Waterson (Bill Waterson II (born 1958)): “Calvin and Hobbes,” last panel, line spoken by fictional character Calvin

This MFOL! . . . make an adventure of your life and never stop exploring . . .

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Faces and Facial Expressions

7/26/2019

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Remember what your mother always said: “If you keeping making that expression, your face will get stuck that way permanently . . . and you’ll look like that for the rest of your life!”

“Nature gave you your face, but you have to provide the expression.” -Author Unknown

“Your expression is the most important thing you can wear.” -Sid Ascher

There was an Old Person of Down,
Whose face was adorned with a frown;
When he opened the door,
For one minute or more,
He alarmed all the people of Down.
-Edward Lear (1812 -1888): “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872), limerick 29

“I’ve been smiling all day . . . and it’s really starting to hurt my face.” -Author Unknown

Time for your facial workout! Remember, it takes 17 muscles in your face to make a smile, and 43 muscles to make a frown.

“The expression we wear on our face is far more important than the clothes we wear on our back.” -Author Unknown

“Want a face ‘lift’? Wear a smile.” -Author Unknown

Things To Do with Your Face
□ Wink
□ Raise your eyebrows
□ Stick out your tongue
□ Cry
□ Grimace
□ Grin
□ Frown
□ Smile
□ Pout
□ Wiggle your ears
What else can you do with your face?

“Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you are up to!” -Author Unknown

“A wink is a little piece of your heart, a wordless smile, a special link.” -J. L. W. Brooks

The human face has 43 muscles that create 10,000 expressions. It would take a lifetime for a person to try them all out.

“Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.” -Janet Lane

“Our work is not done . . . until there is a smile on every face.” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . where you can bring your frown and exchange it for a smile . . .

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Affirmations

7/24/2019

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I fill my mind with positive thoughts that create positive outcomes.

What are affirmations? Affirmations are expressions that can transform your life by influencing the way you think about yourself, others, and the world around you. When you change how you think, you change how you speak and how you act, and the results can be immensely rewarding.

Today, I will concentrate on taking one step forward, however small it might be.

Today I will be the best me that I know how to be.

Following is the ‘formula’ first used at the clinic of psychologist Émile Coué in Nancy, France. What he called his ‘formula’ was an affirmation, which he prescribed to his patients, to be repeated by them 15 to 20 times in the morning and again in the evening of each day:

“Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” -Émile Coué (Émile Coué de la Châtaigneraie (1857 - 1926)): “How to Practice Suggestion and Autosuggestion” (1923)

A limerick may provide further insight:

On Monsieur Coué

This very remarkable man
Commends a most practical plan:
You can do what you want
If you don’t think you can’t,
So don’t think you can’t - think you can.

by Charles Cuthbert Inge (1868 - 1957): “The Week-end Book” (1928), page 217

I am intelligent and capable of success in any endeavor which I may choose.

“As long as you know what it is you desire, then by simply affirming that it is yours - firmly and positively, with no ifs, buts, or maybes - over and over again, from the minute you arise in the morning until the time you go to sleep at night, and as many times during the day as your work or activities permit, you will be drawn to those people, places, and events that will bring your desires to you.” -Scott Reed

I have confidence.

New opportunities are calling to me and I am ready to answer the call.

You can create your own affirmations, or select affirmations from those found in this topic that you believe best apply to you and your particular circumstances. Write your affirmations on a piece of paper, and place it where you will be sure to read it daily, as for example, on your car dashboard, on your refrigerator door, or on your bedroom mirror. You could also type affirmations into your cell phone or other device. If you keep a diary or journal, consider challenging yourself to write a new affirmation in it for each day.

What I have done before I can do again, even better.

“I am optimistic and confident in all that I do. I affirm only the best for myself and others. I am the creator of my life and my world. I meet daily challenges gracefully and with complete confidence. I fill my mind with positive, nurturing, and healing thoughts.” -Alice Potter

I like fresh salads.

“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief, and once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.” -Claude M. Bristol (Claude Myron Bristol (1891 - 1951)): “The Magic of Believing” (1948)

I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.

“I am - the two most powerful words in the world, for whatever we put after them becomes our reality.” -Susan Howson

I am worthy of the respect, attention, and love that I receive from others.

“Affirmations are a form of thought training - training yourself how to think, just as running every day conditions an athlete to compete in a footrace, or studying every day prepares a student for a test.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

I see the best in myself and others.

I have confidence to try new things.

“You are what you think about all day long.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

I feel good about myself.

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

I am stronger than everything that happened in the past.
I am stronger than my present circumstances.
I am strong today and will be even stronger tomorrow.

I appreciate and acknowledge the participation and contributions of others.

“One comes to believe whatever one repeats to oneself sufficiently often, whether the statement be true of false. It comes to be dominating thought in one’s mind.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

I can face my fears and work to overcome them.

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

I focus on what I can do right now.

“What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“I’m not here to be average, I’m here to be awesome!” -Author Unknown

The ghosts of my past can no longer haunt me.

I enjoy saving money and investing money.

“I really like who I am.” -Geordi Laforge, character played by actor LeVar Burton in “Star Trek,” ‘Loud as a Whisper’ (9 January 1989)

I will remain confident and unaffected by negative attitudes around me.

Life is good and getting better.

“I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.” -Watty Piper (pseudonym of Arnold H. Munk (1886 - 1957)): “The Little Engine That Could” (1930)

I am patient with myself.

I begin working on tasks the moment the thought of the tasks occurs to me.

“What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” -Otto Rank (1884 - 1939)

I can live my life without knowing all of the answers.

“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” -attributed to Solomon: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Book of Proverbs,’ chapter 23, verse 7

I feel happiness and joy just from being alive.

“If my mind can conceive it and my heart can believe it I know I can achieve it.” -Author Unknown

I am able to relax and maintain good form when around strangers or in unfamiliar situations.

I can help others without expecting them to give me anything in return.

I am at peace with myself and the Universe.

“Affirmations provide a way to inoculate against negative thinking.” -Author Unknown

I will live as if my dreams are possible, and work each day to make them happen.

I am a good person.

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” -Brené Brown

I feel great when I go on a walk.

I am a responsible person.

“Every word you speak and every thought you think is an affirmation for your future.” -Cheryl Richardson at http://www.cherylrichardson.com/

I like who I am becoming.

I speak with confidence and calm assurance.

What is self-talk? Self-talk is simply another term for affirmations. You can choose to say affirmations aloud, or say them silently to yourself, or write them on paper or read them.

I keep myself in excellent physical condition.

I always have time for my friends.

I can learn how to live with pain so that I can get what I want from my life.

“The most influential person who will talk to you all day is you, so you should be very careful about what you say to you!” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

Today I am planting the seeds of new beginnings.

I am a friendly person.

“Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

I am doing pretty good - how can I do better?

I seek new adventures.

“I am in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (born 1926)) at www.louisehay.com

I am in charge of my feelings, and today I am choosing happiness.

“My life is my business. I don’t let somebody else run it.” -Author Unknown

“Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

I am too blessed to be stressed!

If we are what we think about, what should we think about?

I am divinely guided in all that I do.

“Our minds can shape the way a thing will be because we act according to our expectations.” -Federico Fellini (1920 - 1993)

I am a good listener.

I will imagine the best and focus on that.

I am living in the present moment: the here and now.

“Say affirmations ‘as if’ they were already a reality.” -Author Unknown

I can enjoy leisure without guilt and anxiety.

I can handle criticism with ease.

Today I view my childhood without shame.

I am a friend to myself. I love me.

I am ready for a fresh start, a new perspective, and an ‘I can do it’ attitude.

At MFOL! our affirmation is, “We are funny today, and we will be even funnier tomorrow!”

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Life and Living

7/21/2019

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“I like life. It’s something to do.” -Ronnie Shakes (born Ronald Michael Sakele (1947 - 1987))

“Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.” -Annette Funicello (Annette Joanne Funicello (1942 – 2013))

Life

When life seems just a dreary grind,
     And things seem fated to annoy,
Say something nice to someone else
     And watch the world light up with joy.

by Author Unknown

“I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun.” -Katharine Hepburn (Katharine Houghton Hepburn (1907 - 2003))

“Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.” -Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902): “The Note-Books of Samuel Butler” (1912), ‘Life,’ ix

“Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.” -Brendan Gill (1914 - 1997)

The World

This world that we’re a livin’ in
     Is mighty hard to beat;
You git¹ a thorn with ev’ry² rose,
     But ain’t the roses sweet!

-Frank L. Stanton (Frank Lebby Stanton (1857 - 1927))
¹ git: get
² ev’ry: every

“It never gets easier, you just go faster.” -Greg LeMond (Gregory James ‘Greg’ LeMond (born 1961))

“From now until the end of time no one else will ever see life with my eyes, and I mean to make the best of my chance.” -Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)

“Murphy’s First Law of Infinite Priority: ‘Whatever you set out to do, something else must be done first.’” -Author Unknown

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” -George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

Overheard: How can I control my life when I cannot control my hair?

“Life’s not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow.” -Terri Guillemets (born 1973)

“The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand other things well.” -Hugh Walpole (Hugh Seymour Walpole (1884 - 1941))

Life

Inch by inch,
     Life is a cinch.
Yard by yard,
     Life is hard.

by John Updike (John Hoyer Updike (1932 - 2009))

“Life’s tragedy is that we grow old too soon and wise too late.” -Author Unknown

“I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“So one thing I want to say about life is don’t be scared and don’t hang back, and most of all, don’t waste it.” -Joan W. Blos (Joan Winsor Blos (1928 - 2017)): “A Gathering of Days” (1979)

“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funnybone.” -Reba McEntire (Reba Nell McEntire (born 1955))

“You live and learn. Or at any rate, you live.” -Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

“Life is half spent before we know what it is.” -George Herbert (1593 - 1633): “Jacula Prudentum” (English: “Outlandish Proverbs”) (1640)

“Life is a series of commas, not periods.” -Matthew McConaughey (Matthew David McConaughey (born 1969))

“Life is a series of events strung together like a phrase of a sentence forever changing and forever adapting. Turn the page and read on.” -Author Unknown

“My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.” -Cary Grant (pseudonym of Archibald Alexander Leach (1904 - 1986))

“Now it is a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it . . .” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)): “The Mixture as Before” (1940), ‘The Treasure’

“I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.” -Lily Tomlin (Mary Jean Tomlin (born 1939))

“The greatest gift . . . is the realization that life does not consist either of wallowing in the past or of peering anxiously at the future; and it is appalling to contemplate the great number of often painful steps by which one arrives at a truth so old, so obvious, and so frequently expressed. It is good for one to appreciate that life is now. Whether it offers little or much, life is now - this day - this hour.” -Charles Macomb Flandrau (1871 - 1938): “Viva Mexico” (1912), chapter 7

“Plunge boldly into the thick of life!” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.” -T. S. Eliot (Thomas Stearns Eliot (1888 - 1965)): “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” (1915)

“The problem of life is not to make life easier, but to make people stronger.” -David Starr Jordan (1851 - 1931)

“Life is not so much a matter of position as of disposition.” -Author Unknown

“In spite of the cost of living, it’s still popular.” -Kathy Norris (Kathleen Thompson Norris (1880 - 1966))

“Life is made up of giving and getting, forgiving and forgetting.” -Author Unknown

“Life is a verb.” -Author Unknown

“May you live all the days of your life.” -Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745)

“Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.” -Author Unknown

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” -Neale Donald Walsch (born 1943)

Overheard: When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum.

“We are most alive when we’re in love.” -John Updike (John Hoyer Updike (1932 - 2009))

“I think I’ve discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.” -Charles Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000))

“Life is nothing without friendship.” -Cicero (Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.))

Overheard: You can’t have everything - where would you put it all?

“You have to take the bitter with the sweet.” -John Heywood (about 1497 - 1580): “All the Proverbs in the English Language” (1546)

“There are two means of refuge from the misery of life: music and cats.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

“Everything has been figured out except how to live.” -Jean-Paul Sartre (1905 - 1980)

“Possibly the game of Life cannot be won; but if it can be won, it will be the players in the game who win it, not the superior people who pride themselves on not knowing the difference between a fair ball and a foul, to say nothing of those in the grandstand or in the bleachers whose contribution is throwing pop bottles at the umpire.” -Max Carl Otto (1876 - 1968)

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” -Author Unknown

“When one subtracts from life infancy (which is vegetation), sleep, eating and swilling, buttoning and unbuttoning - how much remains of downright existence? The Summer of a dormouse.” -Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824))

“Life may not be the party we had hoped for, but while we’re here, we should dance.” -Author Unknown

“Life goes by so quickly - we have to make every moment count.” -Author Unknown

“Too much credit is given to the end result. The true lesson is in the struggle that takes place between the dream and reality. That struggle is a thing called life!” -Garth Brooks

“Live each day in a way that will make you feel good about yourself tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“The person who makes a success of living is the one who sees his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly.” -Cecil B. Demille (1881 - 1959)

“Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.” -Author Unknown

“Life goes quickly. Seize it!” -Author Unknown

“Life is a journey and it helps to have a map.” -Author Unknown

“Life is not always what one wants it to be, but to make the best of it, as it is, is the only way of being happy.” -Jennie Jerome Churchill (1854 - 1921)

“Be a life long or short, its completeness depends on what it was lived for.” -David Starr Jordan (1851 - 1931)

“Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.” -Ernestine Ulmer (born 1925)

“Our life is what we make it by our own thoughts and deeds.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912): “Light on Life’s Difficulties” (1912)

No Problem

Life is easier than you think.
All you have to do is:
accept the impossible,
do without the indispensable,
bear the intolerable,
and be able to smile at anything.

by Kathleen Norris (Kathleen Thompson ‘Kathy’ Norris (1880 - 1966))

“Just living is not enough . . . one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.” -Hans Christian Andersen (1805 - 1875)

“Work hard, play hard.” -Author Unknown

“What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” -Sidonie Gabrielle Colette (1873 - 1954)

“Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.” -George Carlin (1937 - 2008)

“Life is not always fair, but it can still be good if you work hard to make it that way.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Young Man of Cadiz

There was a young man of Cadiz,
Who concluded that life is what it is;
     For he early had learnt,
     If it were what it weren’t,
It could not be that which it is.

by Author Unknown

“No one finds life worth living; one must make it worth living.” -Author Unknown

“Life moves pretty fast! If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: Life would be so much easier if everyone read the manual.

“Life is only traveled once. Today’s moment becomes tomorrow’s memory. Enjoy every moment, good or bad, because the gift of life is life itself.” -Author Unknown

“Not only strike while the iron is hot, but make it hot by striking.” -Oliver Cromwell (1599 - 1658): letter (1658)

“Life is always at some turning point.” -Irwin Edman (1896 - 1954)

“Life is like a camel - you can make it do anything except back up.” -Marcelene Cox

“All of life is learning; therefore education can never end.” -Eduard Lindeman (Eduard Christian Lindeman (1885 - 1953))

’Tis not so bad a world
     As some would like to make it -
But whether good or whether bad
     Depends on how you take it.
-Author Unknown

“A happy life is made up of little things - a gift sent, a letter written, a call made, a recommendation given, transportation provided, a cake made, a book lent, a check sent.” -Carol Holmes

“Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that special occasion. Stop withholding your love until that special person materializes. Every day you are alive is a special occasion. Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God.” -Mary Manin Morrissey (born 1949): as quoted in John D. Moore: “Quotations for Martial Artists” (2003), page 3

“Live all you can - it’s a mistake not to. It doesn’t so much matter what you do in particular, so long as you have your life. If you haven’t had that, what have you had?” -Henry James (Henry James, Junior (1843 - 1916))

“Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars.” -Henry Van Dyke (1852 - 1933)

“Live, and be happy, and make others so.” -Mary Shelley (1797 - 1851)

Laugh a little more . . . learn a little more . . . love life a little more . . . every day . . . with Make Fun Of Life!

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Laughter and Laughing

7/17/2019

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Laughter has magical properties . . .

“Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over, and showing it principally in one spot.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))

“There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870))

“I like people who make me laugh. I honestly think that laughing is the thing I like most. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person.” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

Overheard: I just want to spend the rest of my life laughing.

“Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.” -Bob Newhart (George Robert ‘Bob’ Newhart (born 1929))

“I think laughter may be a form of courage.” -Linda Ellerbee (born 1944)

“There is little success where there is little laughter.” -Andrew Carnegie (1835 - 1919)

“The amount you laugh in your relationships with others is the true measure of the health of your personality.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“You know, there’s endorphins in laughter, as there are endorphins in running in the park.” -Marlo Thomas (Margaret Julia ‘Marlo’ Thomas (born 1937))

Just Laughin’

Did it ever occur to you
Of the good that you might do,
Just Laughin’.
Did you ever stop to think
That a sorrow you could sink,
Just Laughin’.
The world is like a dream,
Your thoughts are mostly clean,
When you’re laughin’.
The whole world seems more bright,
Everything turns out right,
Just Laughin’.
Victory seems to be your pace
And love just floods most every face,
Just Laughin’.
Everyone’s so bright and gay,
Work just seems to be like play
When you’re laughin’.
You’ll find the world much sweeter
And yourself will feel much better,
Just Laughin’.
Life itself would be so fine,
You can make it more divine,
Just Laughin’.
It’s the little things you do
And you know God loves you too,
When you’re laughin’.

by Hudson W. Cady (Hudson Waterman Cady (1894 - 1973))

“A laugh is a smile that bursts.” -Mary H. Waldrip (Mary Helen Waldrip (1914 - 1988))

“So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter.” -Gordon W. Allport (Gordon Willard Allport (1897 - 1967))

Laughter is good exercise. Each time a person laughs, he or she burns an average of 3.5 calories.

“Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.” -Author Unknown

“Laughing helps; it’s like jogging on the inside.” -Author Unknown

“The One whose throne is in Heaven sits laughing . . .” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Book of Psalms,’ chapter 2, verse 4

“Laugh at yourself, before anyone else can.” -Elsa Maxwell (1883 - 1963)

Daryl: Why is it a bad idea to laugh at people when they are down?
Lydia: They might get up!

“Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. After all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.” -Dame Edna Everage (fictional character portrayed by John Barry Humphries (born 1934))

“Laugh, if you are wise.” -Marcus Valerius Martialis (also known simply as Martial (about C.E. 40 - about C.E. 103))

“At first, I only laughed at myself. Then I noticed that life itself is amusing. I’ve been in a generally good mood ever since.” -Marilyn vos Savant (born 1946)

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Laughing Time

It was laughing time, and the tall Giraffe
     Lifted up his head, and began to laugh:
     Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

And the Chimpanzee on the ginkgo tree
     Swung merrily down with a “Tee Hee Hee”:
     Hee! Hee! Hee! Hee!

“It’s certainly not against the law!”
     Croaked Justice Crow with a loud guffaw:
     Haw! Haw! Haw! Haw!

The Dancing Bear who could never say, “No”
     Waltzed up and down on the tip of his toe:
     Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!

The Donkey daintily took his paw,
     And around they went: “Hee-Haw! Hee-Haw!”
     Hee-Haw! Hee-Haw!

The Moon had to smile as it started to climb;
     All over the world it was laughing time!
     Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Hee-Haw! Hee-Haw!
     Hee! Hee! Hee! Hee! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

by William Jay Smith (1918 - 2015): “Laughing Time” (1955)

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“If you can laugh at it, you can live with it.” -Erma Bombeck (Erma Louise Bombeck (1927 - 1996))

“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” -Victor Borge (born as Bǿrge Rosenbaum (1909 - 2000))

“A laugh’s the wisest, easiest answer to all that’s queer.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891): “Moby Dick” (18 October 1851)

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“Once you get people laughing, they’re listening, and you can tell them almost anything.” -Herbert Gardner

“A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market.” -Charles Lamb (1775 - 1834)

“At the height of laughter, the Universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.” -Jean Houston (born 1937)

“Laughter is to life what shock absorbers are to automobiles. It won’t take the potholes out of the road, but it sure makes the ride smoother.” -Barbara Johnson

“Learn to laugh at your troubles and you’ll never run out of things to laugh at.” -Lyn Karol

“Of all days, the day on which one has not laughed is the one most surely wasted.” -Nicolas Chamfort (Sébastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort (1741 - 1794))

“Laughter is an instant vacation.” -Milton Berle (born Mendel Berlinger (1908 - 2002))

“Beware of too much laughter, for it deadens the mind and produces oblivion.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Talmud”

“A good laugh is sunshine in the house.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863)

“Laughter is the corrective force which prevents us from becoming cranks.” -Henri Bergson (Henri-Louis ‘Henri’ Bergson (1859 - 1941))

“He who laughs, lasts!” -Mary Pettibone Poole (? - 1941): “A Glass Eye at a Key Hole” (1938); type of work: book of aphorisms and apothegms

“Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy . . . that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat of the moment. Banish tension and concern and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996)): “A Better Way to Live” (1990), ‘Rule Eleven’

“A good time to laugh is any time you can.” -Linda Ellerbee (born 1944)

“Those who cannot laugh at themselves leave the job to others.” -Author Unknown

“Sharing laughter heals hearts.” -Patsy Clairmont (born 1945)

“Laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.” -Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824))

“Laughter is the best medicine.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

What are the benefits of laughter? Laughter really is good medicine. Yes, studies have shown it time after time! Laughter lowers blood pressure, creates much better moods around the house, prevents illnesses, speeds up healing, and produces endorphins just like runners experience when they reach their peak running level, which prevents pain sensors from hurting so badly. Laughing may lower levels of stress hormones and strengthen the immune system.

“Laughter is the Sun that drives Winter from the human face.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone.” -Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850 - 1919) (1883)

“If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.” -Edgar Watson Howe (1854 - 1937): as attributed in “Forbes” (1980)

“Laughter translates into any language.” -Author Unknown

“Laughter is God’s hand on the shoulders of a troubled world.” -Minnie Pearl (pseudonym of Sarah Ophelia Colley (1912 - 1996))

“As a general rule, the freedom of any people can be judged by the volume of their laughter.” -Author Unknown

“You show your character in nothing more clearly that by what you think laughable.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I’ll go to it laughing.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891): “Moby Dick” (18 October 1851)

“Joyfulness keeps the heart and face young. A good laugh makes us better friends with ourselves and everybody around us.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places.” -Andrew Mason

“Man alone suffers so excruciatingly in the world that he was compelled to invent laughter.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“It is more fitting for a man to laugh at life than to lament over it.” -Lucius Annaeus Seneca (also known as Seneca the Younger or simply as Seneca (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

World Laughter Day is celebrated on the first Sunday of May of every year. The first celebration was on 10 January 1998 in Mumbai, India, and was arranged by Doctor Madan Kataria, founder of the worldwide Laughter Yoga movement.

“The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.” -Shirley MacLaine (pseudonym of Shirley MacLean Beaty (born 1934))

“A complete revaluation takes place in your physical and mental being when you’ve laughed and had some fun.” -Catherine Ponder (born 1927)

This is MFOL! Have you laughed today? If not, there is still time . . . just continue reading . . .

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Astronomy

7/13/2019

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Astronomy is for those who never stop looking up . . .

“We can’t all be stars, but we can all sparkle.” -Author Unknown

What are stars? Stars are massive spheres, or balls, of very hot burning gases, called plasma, held together by their own gravity. Most stars contain mostly hydrogen, with small amounts of helium. Some stars have tiny amounts of other elements as well.

“At night, an enormous blanket is placed over the Earth to keep it warm. The blanket is very old and worn out, and so it has many tiny holes in it. The holes where the Sun’s light comes through are called stars.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Stars form in nebulas, which are large gaseous areas of space. As gravity attracts and condenses more and more gas into clusters, young stars called protostars start to form.

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

Stars radiate energy created from nuclear fusion, which is a process that takes place in a star’s core and involves hydrogen fusing, or burning, to make helium. Once nuclear fusion has begun in the core, a star is sufficiently fueled to spend the majority of its life as a main sequence star, or twinkly thing, in its most stable form.

The Star

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
     How I wonder what you are.
Giant thermonuclear reaction,
     Held by gravitational attraction.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
     You look small ’cause you’re so far.
As you burn through constant fusion,
     Your twinkle’s just an optical illusion
That happens when your light gets near,
     Distorted by our atmosphere.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
     Spreading light and heat so far.
As you use up fuel you’ll grow,
     And give off a scarlet glow.
Maybe you’ll go supernova
     Exploding elements all over.
Now I know just what you are,
     And I know I’m made of stars.

by Author Unknown: parody of “The Star” by Jane Taylor (1806)

“Even a small star shines in the darkness.” -Author Unknown: Finnish proverb

A brown dwarf forms if a star does not become hot enough to reach nuclear fusion. While a brown dwarf has failed to become a proper star, it is not a planet because it does glow dimly.

“There are stars called white dwarfs and red giants . . . but, alas, no jelly donuts.” -Author Unknown

The most common stars are red dwarfs. They are less than half the size and mass of our Sun, and burn their fuel very slowly. Red dwarfs last longer than any other type of star, at more than 100 billion years. They are cooler than most stars, and so shine less, eventually growing dimmer.

“We are made of stardust. Every atom of every element in your body except for hydrogen has been manufactured inside stars, scattered across the Universe in great stellar explosions, and recycled to become part of you.” -John Gribbin (John R. Gribbin (born 1946)): “Stardust” (10 September 2000)

When smaller stars such as red dwarfs or red giants use up all of their fuel and nuclear fusion slows, they start to die, and become small white dwarf stars, which emit white light until they finally darken into black dwarfs.

“All men have stars, but they are not the same things for different people. For some, who are travelers, the stars are guides. For others they are no more than little lights in the sky. For others, who are scholars, they are problems . . . But all these stars are silent. You - you alone, will have stars as no one else has them . . .” -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (Antoine Marie Jean-Baptiste Roger (1900 - 1944))

A dwarf star is so dense that it would take eight people to lift a teaspoonful of its matter. As yellow dwarf stars like our Sun start to run out of hydrogen fuel, the core shrinks, heats, and pushes out the rest of the star, turning it into a red giant.

Wish Upon a Star

Star light, star bright,
     The first star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
     Have this wish I wish tonight.

by Author Unknown

Red supergiants, such as Betelgeuse in the constellation Orion, make our Sun look small, having 20 times its mass, and being 1,000 times bigger in size. Red hypergiants, such as the largest known star, VY Canis Majoris, are even bigger, at more than 1,800 times the size of our Sun.

“It is often in the darkest skies that we see the brightest stars.” -Author Unknown

Big stars like supergiants and hypergiants have shorter lives because they consume their fuel at a faster rate than smaller stars. As these massive stars die, they explode into massive bright supernovas.

“Why does someone believe you when you say there are four hundred billion stars in the sky, but when you say the paint is wet they have to touch it themselves to find out?” -Author Unknown

Star matter blown apart in supernova explosions forms new stellar nebulas (or nebulae), and the process of making stars begins all over again.

“Stars are beautiful, but they may not take an active part in anything; they must just look on forever. It is a punishment put on them for something they did so long ago that no star now knows what it is.” -J. M. Barrie (James Matthew Barrie (1860 - 1937)): “Peter Pan” (????)

Very heavy stars that go supernova can actually turn into black holes, while other supernovas leave behind white neutron stars that are 20 to 40 kilometers (12.5 to 25 miles) in diameter and have dense cores made of neutrons.

Riddle: I shine high in the sky - what am I?
Solution: I am a star.

As a star approaches the end of its life, it begins to change the helium into heavier chemical elements, such as carbon and oxygen, and the star will begin to change its color, density, mass, and size.

“With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand miles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress.” -Kurt Vonnegut, Junior (1922 - 2007): “The Sirens of Titan” (1959), type of work: novel; line spoken by fictional character Ransom K. Ferm (printed as Ransom K. Fern in some instances)

Astronomers . . . mapping the way to future homeworlds for humanity . . .

An ancient astronomer stayed up all night trying to figure out where the Sun had gone. In the morning, it finally dawned on him.

Stars range in color depending on how hot they are. In order from lowest to highest temperature, they can be brown, red, orange, yellow, white, or blue in color.

“Stars have always helped me to get things into perspective . . . I tried to let the starlight heal something deep in me that hurt.” -Madeleine L’Engle (Madeleine L’Engle Camp (1918 - 2007))

Stars are often between 1 and 10 billion years old. Some stars may even be close to the age of the observed Universe, at nearly 13.8 billion years old.

There are more stars in the Universe than there are grains of sand on all the beaches of the world. We know this because we have been traveling the world’s beaches with a pencil, a notebook, and a magnifying glass, counting all of the itsy-bitsy granules of sand . . . if you see us out there, be sure to say hello!

Stars

The stars are tiny daisies high,
     Opening and shutting in the sky.
The daisies are the stars below,
     Twinkling and sparkling as they grow.

by Authors Unknown

Each galaxy contains hundreds of billions of stars and there are estimated to be more than 100 billion galaxies in the Universe. The total number of stars in the Universe is mind boggling, estimated to be at least 70 sextillion and possibly as high as 300 sextillion, which is 300,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.

“Put three grains of sand inside a vast cathedral, and the cathedral will be more closely packed with sand than space is with stars.” -James Jeans (James Hopwood Jeans (1877 - 1946)): as attributed in Laurence J. Peter’s “Peter’s Quotations: Ideas for Our Time” (1993)

Our Milky Way Galaxy is an area in space crowded with lots of stars - so many that it resembles a road of spilled milk. That is how it got its name! There are estimated to be somewhere between 200 and 400 billion stars in the Milky Way.

Galaxies are speeding away from Earth at 90,000 miles per second. What do you suppose they know that we don’t?

The light emitted by 200,000 galaxies makes our Universe a shade of beige. Scientists call the color ‘cosmic latte.’ Of course, if a scientist is up late at night looking at stars, it might be because he or she is highly caffeinated.

“There they stand, the innumerable stars, shining in order like a living hymn, written in light.” -Nathaniel Parker Willis (1806 - 1867)

The light from stars takes millions of years to reach Earth, so when you look at the stars, you are literally looking back in time.

“The stars are not so strange as the mind that studies them, analyzes their light, and measures their distances.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969): “On Being a Real Person” (1943)

While a clear night sky may appear to be full of stars, there are really only about 2,000 to 3,000 stars visible to the unaided eye, meaning without the use of a telescope. These stars are all either close to the Earth or intensely luminous, meaning very bright, like yourself.

Visiting an observatory, the backwoods man watched the astronomer look through his telescope. Just then a star fell. “Wow-wee!” exclaimed the man. “You sure are a great shot!”

Stars only appear to twinkle because we see them through the Earth’s atmosphere. Stars shine at an unblinking steady state, but atmospheric disturbances called eddies, which we experience as slight breezes and winds, make stars look sparkly.

If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day. We know this because we spend a lot of time hanging out at the bottom of old wells and chimneys . . .

At an average distance of just 149,597,870 kilometers (92,955,807 miles), the nearest star to Earth is a yellow dwarf star called the Sun. The next nearest star to Earth is a red dwarf star called Proxima Centauri, also known as Alpha Centauri C. It was discovered in 1915 by Scottish astronomer Robert Innes while he was working at the Union Observatory in Johannesburg, South Africa. It is about 39.9 trillion kilometers (24.79 trillion miles) or 4.25 light years away. Light from this star reaches Earth in 4.25 years. A spacecraft using the newest, fastest propulsion systems would take about 75,000 years to get there.

Arnold: Did you know there’s a star called the Dog Star?
Owen: Are you Sirius?

Binary stars and multi-star systems are made up of two or more stars that are gravitationally linked, so that they orbit around each other.

“There wouldn’t be a sky full of stars if we were all meant to wish on the same one.” -Frances Clark (Frances Mary Clark (1860 - 1958))

A comet is a relatively small solar system body that orbits the Sun. When close enough to the Sun, comets display a visible coma, which is a fuzzy outline or atmosphere due to solar radiation, and sometimes also a tail.

When asked about flying saucers, the astronomer replied, “No comet.”

Asteroids are small solar system bodies that orbit the Sun. Made of rock and metal, they can also contain organic compounds. Asteroids are similar to comets but do not have a visible coma (fuzzy outline and tail) like comets do.

Telescope: A device for bringing the sky closer.

A meteoroid is a small rock or particle of debris in our solar system. They range in size from dust to around 10 meters in diameter. Larger objects are usually referred to as asteroids.

Star

Star light, star bright,
     First star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
     No - it’s just a satellite!

by Author Unknown

So-called ‘shooting stars’ and ‘falling stars’ are not actually stars, but are meteors. A meteoroid that burns up as it passes through the Earth’s atmosphere is known as a meteor. A meteoroid that survives falling through the Earth’s atmosphere and colliding with the Earth’s surface is known as a meteorite.

The odds of anyone being struck by a meteorite are said to be ‘astronomical.’

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When You Wish Upon a Star

When you wish upon a star
     Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
     Will come to you.

If your heart is in your dreams
     No request is to extreme
When you wish upon a star
     As dreamers do.

Fate is kind
     She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment
     of their secret longing.

Like a bolt out of the blue
     Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
     Your dreams come true.

If your heart is in your dreams
     No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
     As dreamers do.

When you wish upon a star
     Your dream comes true.

by Jesse McCartney

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Stars have played important roles throughout human history. They have become a part of religions, been grouped into constellations, used in astrology, helped to design calendars, and were very important navigational tools for early explorations across lands and seas.

“Silently, one by one in the infinite meadows of Heaven, blossomed the lovely stars, the forget-me-nots of angels.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

If you would like to keep up-to-date on the goings on in a whole Universe of stars, click on the link www.stardate.org.

Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul.
Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.
-Pamela Vaull Starr (pseudonym of Violet Isabelle (Carter) Popp (1909 - 1993))

At MFOL! we think stars are, like, so stellar . . . and far out, too! Yeah, we know, we’re kinda weird sometimes . . . now go have fun with your life!

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Procrastination and Procrastinating

7/8/2019

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“Don’t put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))

They said ‘procrastination’ was
     The source of all my sorrow
I don’t know what that big word means -
     I’ll look it up tomorrow
-Author Unknown

Jimmy: Can you give me the definition of procrastination?
Jenny: I will do it later.
Jimmy: You are right!

procrastination is the
art of keeping
up with yesterday
-Don Marquis (Donald Robert Perry ‘Don’ Marquis (1878 - 1937)): “the lives and times of archy & mehitabel” (1940), using lower case letters and no punctuation, in the style of the fictional writer character he created

“Procrastination makes easy things hard, hard things harder.” -Mason Cooley

“Slaying the dragon of delay is no sport for the short-winded.” -Sandra Day O’Connor

“Procrastination is not laziness,” I tell him. “It is fear. Call it by its right name, and forgive yourself.” -Julia Cameron: “The Prosperous Heart” (2012)

“It was my fear of failure that first kept me from attempting the master work. Now, I’m beginning what I could have started ten years ago. But I’m happy at least that I didn’t wait twenty years.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

“Join the circus of chaos . . . juggling, stilt walking, and other skills for socially acceptable procrastination.” -Pat Murphy

“Every duty which is bidden to wait, returns with seven fresh duties at its back.” -Charles Kingsley (1819 - 1875): “Sermons for the Times” (1855)

“In delay there lies no plenty.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

Overheard: I bought a book titled “How to Stop Procrastinating,” and I have promised myself that someday, I am going to actually read it.

“Do not put your work off till tomorrow and the day after; for a sluggish worker does not fill his barn.” -Hesiod (about 800 B.C.E. - about 720 B.C.E.)

“When we procrastinate, we also put a hold on happiness.” -Charles F. Glassman

“I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator . . . I can put off all kinds of things at once.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow. Delay may give clearer light as to what is best to be done.” -Aaron Burr (Aaron Burr, Junior (1756 - 1836)): as quoted in Jacob Morton Braude: “The Complete Art of Public Speaking” (1970), page 84

“Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.” -Stephen King (born 1947)

“The dread of doing a task uses up more time and energy than doing the task itself.” -Rita Emmett

“Things dreaded require double time to accomplish them.” -James Lendall Basford

“If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.” -Ivan Turgenev

“Begin while others are procrastinating. Work while others are wishing.” -William Arthur Ward

“If you wait until all the lights are ‘green’ before you leave home, you’ll never get started on your trip to the top.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“KISS Procrastination Away: Keep It Super Simple, Keep It Step-by-Step, Keep It Scheduled and Systematic.” -Lisa A. Mininni

“How soon ‘not now’ becomes ‘never’.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Doing just a little bit during the time we have available puts you that much further ahead than if you took no action at all.” -Byron Pulsifer (Byron R. Pulsifer)

“Someday is not a day of the week.” -Janet Dailey (Janet Anne Haradon Dailey (1944 - 2013))

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” -Anne Frank (1929 - 1945): “The Diary of a Young Girl” (1952)

“All things come to those who wait, but when they come they’re out of date.” -Author Unknown

Lose This Day Loitering

Lose this day loitering - ‘twill be the same story
     To-morrow - and the next more dilatory;
Each indecision brings its own delays,
     And days are lost lamenting o’er lost days,
Are you in earnest? Seize this very minute -
     Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Only engage, and then the mind grows heated -
     Begin it, and then the work will be completed!

by Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe (1749 - 1832): “Faust” (Part 1 (1808) and Part 2 (1832))

Overheard: Some tasks have to be put off dozens of times before they will completely slip your mind.

“Things don’t get any easier by putting them off.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)): “The Razor’s Edge” (1943)

“Lingering labors come to naught.” -Robert Southwell (1561 - 1595); as translated into modern parlance; original wording: “Linger’d labours come to nought.” -Robert Southwell: “Loss in Delay,” line 1; page 60, as quoted in William B. Turnbull, editor: “The Poetical Works of the Rev. Robert Southwell” (1856)

“I’m very busy doing things I don’t need to do in order to avoid anything I’m actually supposed to be doing.” -Author Unknown

“Do you know what happens when you give a procrastinator a good idea? Nothing!” -Donald Gardner

“Waiting to develop courage is just another form of procrastination. We must take action while we’re afraid.” -Author Unknown

“A procrastinator’s work is never done.” -Author Unknown

“Getting an idea should be like sitting on a pin; it should make you jump up and do something.” -E. L. Simpson

“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.” -Thomas Draxe (birth year unknown - 1618): “Adages” (1616)

“Remember, action today can prevent a crisis tomorrow.” -Steve Shallenberger: “Becoming Your Best: The 12 Principles of Highly Successful Leaders” (2014)

“What is deferred is not avoided.” -Thomas More (1478 - 1535): “Utopia” (1516)

Procrastination is the thief of time:
     Year after year it steals, till all are fled,
And to the mercies of a moment leaves
     The vast concerns of an eternal scene.
-Edward Young (1683 - 1765): “Night Thoughts” (1742 - 1745), line 393

“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870))

“Procrastination is a road-block in the path of success.” -Author Unknown

“Whatever can be done another day can be done today.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)): “Essais” (“Essays”) (March 1580), Book 1, chapter 20

“The habit of always putting off an experience until you can afford it, or until the time is right, or until you know how to do it, is one of the greatest burglars of joy. Be deliberate, but once you’ve made up your mind - jump in.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934)): “Living on the Ragged Edge” (1985), page 110

“Often greater risk is involved in postponement than in making a wrong decision.” -Harry A. Hopf (Harry Arthur Hopf (1882 - 1949))

“Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow.” -Gerald Vaughan

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955)): “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” (1948)

“I’m going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!” -Sam Levenson (Samuel ‘Sam’ Levenson (1911 - 1980))

“What may be done at any Time will be done at no Time.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 5500

“Procrastination is a teardrop in the sands of time.” -Heath Byers

“One of these days is none of these days.” -H. G. Bohn (Henry George Bohn (1796 - 1884))

“If you procrastinate when faced with a big, difficult problem . . . break the problem into parts, and handle one part at a time.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

Overheard: It has been a productive day - I got a lot of procrastinating accomplished.

“The really happy people are those who have broken the chains of procrastination, those who find satisfaction in doing the job at hand. They’re full of eagerness, zest, productivity. You can be, too.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“The man who will not act until he knows all will never act at all . . .” -Jim Elliot (1927 - 1956)

“Procrastination usually results in sorrowful regret. Today’s duties put off until tomorrow give us a double burden to bear; the best way is to do them in their proper time.” -Ida Scott Taylor (Ida Scott Taylor McKinney (1855 - 1932))

“The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.” -Richard Cushing (Richard James Cushing (1895 - 1970))

“There are those of us who are always about to live. We are waiting until things change, until there is more time, until we are less tired, until we get a promotion, until we settle down - until, until, until. It always seems as if there is some major event that must occur in our lives before we begin living.” -George Sheehan (1918 - 1993)

“One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

Defer not till to-morrow to be wise,
To-morrow’s Sun to thee may never rise.
-William Congreve (1670 - 1729): “Letter to Cobham,” line 61

“Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Putting off an easy thing makes it hard. Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible.” -George Claude Lorimer (1838 - 1904): as quoted in George Horace Lorimer (1867 - 1937): “Letters from a Self-Made Merchant to His Son” (1902), ‘June 25, 189-,’ page 48

“While we are postponing, life speeds by.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument, while the song I came to sing remains unsung.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

“You can’t get much done in life if you only work on the days when you feel good.” -Jerry Alan West (Jerome ‘Jerry’ Alan West (born 1938))

“Postpone not a good action.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb

“If you put off everything till you’re sure of it, you’ll never get anything done.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

All the Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
Layin’ in the Sun,
Talkin’ bout the things
They woulda-coulda-shoulda done . . .
But those Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
All ran away and hid
From one little did.
-Shel Silverstein (Sheldon Allan ‘Shel’ Silverstein (1930 - 1999)): “Falling Up” (1996)

“Let’s get started while we’re still young!” -Author Unknown: comment made by a man who was seventy-five years of age

“By the street of By-and-By, one arrives at the House of Never.” -Miguel de Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1547 - 1616)): “Don Quixote” (1605)

“I don’t wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has got to get down to work.” -Pearl S. Buck (Pearl Sydenstricker Buck (1892 - 1973))

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter, who?
Butter late than never!

“Don’t put off for tomorrow what you should do today.” -Aesop: “The Grasshopper and the Ants” (about 6th century B.C.E.)

“By one delay after another they spin out their whole lives, till there’s no more future left for them.” -Roger L’Estrange (1616 - 1704)

“Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“If you have goals and procrastination, you have nothing. If you have goals and you take action, you will have anything you want.” -Thomas J. Vilord (Thomas Joseph Vilord (born 1975))

“Always put off till tomorrow what you should not do at all.” -Author Unknown

“A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.” -Hunter S. Thompson (Hunter Stockton Thompson (1937 - 2005)): “The Proud Highway” (1997)

“Following through is the only thing that separates dreamers from people that accomplish great things.” -Gene Hayden

“If and When were planted, and Nothing grew.” -Catherine Pulsifer (born 1927): “If and When”

“There is no avoidance in delay.” -Aeschylus (about 525 B.C.E. - about 456 B.C.E.): “Agamemnon” (about 458 B.C.E.)

“Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.” -Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945): as quoted in Robert E. Drennan, editor: “The Algonquin Wits” (1968)

“If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.” -Rita Mae Brown (born 1944)

Overheard: I am just waiting to do my work at the last minute, because by then I will be older and wiser.

“Often just by taking action, by doing something about the situation, you can relieve the stress and help correct the situation.” -Catherine Pulsifer (born 1927)

“He who begun has half done. Dare to be wise; begin.” -Horace

This is MFOL! . . . by choosing to make ‘someday’ into ‘today’ . . . we can make the future even greater than the present . . .

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A Wise Person Once Said

7/7/2019

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A wise person once said, “I am a fool, too, sometimes.”

A wise person once said, “A person who sits on the floor will not fall off a chair.”

A wise person once said, “Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.”

A wise person once said, “With great power comes great electricity bill.”

A wise person once said, “If ignorance is bliss, why are there not more happy people?”

A wise person once said, “With time and patience, the banana at last becomes the monkey.”

A wise person once said, “You never know until you find out.” -Author Unknown

A wise person once said, “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”

A wise person once said, “When nothing goes right, go left.”

A wise person once said, “Folks often make fun of the wisdom of those they take for fools, while scarcely noticing the foolishness of those whom they imagine to be wise.”

A wise person once said, “Take my advice - I’m certainly not using it.”

A wise person once said, “Person who jumps through screen door likely to ‘strain’ self.”

A wise person once said, “No matter where you go, there you are.”

A wise person once said, “Person who runs in front of car will get ‘tired.’”

A wise person once said, “Person who runs behind car will get ‘exhausted.’”

A wise person once said, “Work eight hours and sleep eight hours, but not the same eight hours.”

A wise person once said, “Don’t believe everything you think.”

A wise person once said, “A wise person lowers a ladder before he jumps into a pit.”

A wise person once said, “Woman has small feet to be able to stand close to kitchen sink, and also wears high heels to be able to reach dishes on top shelf. Also, a man who says this needs to take out the garbage and walk the dog.”

A wise person once said, “It is colder outside than it would be if it was warmer than it is.”

A wise person once said, “If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.”

A wise person once said, “Person who laughs last, does not get joke.”

A wise person once said, “A day without sunshine is like night.”

A wise person once said, “Two wrongs do not make a right, but two lefts make a U-turn.”

A wise person once said, “Women take to good hearted men, also from.”

A wise person once said, “One who sits on tack gets point.”

A wise person once said, “A wise person listens no matter how stupidly someone is talking.”

A wise person once said, “A neat desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.”

A wise person once said, “In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.”

A wise person once said, “Never argue with fool . . . he may be doing the same thing.”

A wise person once said, “A person who drives like Hell is bound to get there.”

A wise person once said, “Practice moderation in everything, even in moderation itself.”

A wise person once said, “Person who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing.”

A wise person once said, “Starving person with one chopstick goes hungry.”

A wise person once said, “At night it gets dark.”

A wise person once said, “A closed mouth gathers no feet.”

A wise person once said, “All’s fear in love and war.”

A wise person once said, “I’m still waiting patiently for the wisdom that supposedly comes with old age.”

A wise person once said, “Adults are just wrinkled kids who owe money.”

A wise person once said, “People who eat cookies in bed wake up feeling crummy.”

A wise person once said, “Sometimes it is hard for a person to get away from him or herself.”

A wise person once said, “Grease monkey who goes to bed without bathing wakes up oily in the morning.”

A wise person once said, “Person who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.”

A wise person once said, “Without wisdom, knowledge is more stupid than ignorance.”

A wise person once said, “Best time to buy new mattress, at first sign of Spring.”

A wise person once said, “If you do not give something, you will not get anything.”

A wise person once said, “You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.”

A wise person once said, “If you believe everything you read, better that you should not read.”

A wise person once said, “Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.”

A wise person once said, “A smile is your personal welcome mat.”

A wise person once said, “The reverse side also has a reverse side.”

A wise person once said, “To make eggroll, push it.”

A wise person once said, “Those who throw dirt, lose ground.”

A wise person once said, “Don’t take any wooden nickels!” (Sometimes that wise person can be really annoying.)

A wise person once said, “Every wise person started out by asking many questions.”

A wise person once said, “Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.”

A wise person once said, “Van Gogh was a painter because he did not have an ear for music.”

A wise person once said, “If you do not change the direction in which you are going, you will end up where you are headed.”

A wise person once said, “Person who attempts to stand on wall will soon be floored.”

Make Fun Of Life! is a very peculiar website, so always be sure to get your grandchildren’s permission before visiting . . .

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Hair Loss and Wigs

7/6/2019

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“We’re all born bald, baby.” -Author Unknown: “Kojack” television series; line spoken by fictional bald detective Kojack (portrayed by actor Telly Savalas)

Twig

A bald-headed person named Twig
Once went for advice to a pig.
     Said the pig, “Make some snares,
     And catch a few hares,
And weave the hares into a wig.”

by Willard R. Espy (Willard Richardson Espy (1910 - 1999))

“You can resent your bald spot or be glad you have a head.” -Timothy Miller

Angus: Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Angelica: Because from a distance, they look like hares.

Julius Caesar wore a laurel wreath to cover his balding head. One might wonder if that is how the whole silly notion of crowns and tiaras began.

Consolation for Baldness

What’s the advantage of hair, anyhow?
     It blows in your eyes and it flops on your brow,
Disguising the shape of your scholarly head;
     It often is gray and it sometimes is red.
Perhaps it is golden and ringleted, but
     It needs to be combed and it has to be cut,
And even at best, it is nothing to boast of,
     Because it’s what barbarous men have the most of,
Then challenge yourself, mirror, defiant and careless,
     For lots of our handsomest people are hairless.

by Arthur Guiterman (1871 - 1943)

Bald-headed Man: One who, when expecting visitors, has only to straighten his necktie.

The balding man asked his barber, “Why charge me the full price for cutting my hair, as there’s so little of it?” “Well,” said the barber, “actually I charge very little for cutting it. What you’re paying for is my searching for it.”

Overheard: I am not bald; I am follicly-challenged.

There is a new remedy on the market for baldness. It is made of alum and persimmon juice. While it does not grow hair, it does shrink your head to fit what hair you have remaining.

Enoch: What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday?
Ephraim: “Thanks, I’ll never part with this!”

As Star Trek’s Captain Jean-Luc Picard might say, “To baldly go where no man has gone before . . . !”

Overheard: “I’m not bald; I’m just a little taller than my hair.”

One advantage of being completely bald is that a person can wash his or her head with soap only - no need for a bothersome and sometimes confusing collection of bottles of shampoos and conditioners. This saves you 78.71 seconds of time each day that you can now put to good use - not to mention the fact that you now no longer need to waste time in the shampoo aisle at the store trying to find a shampoo that doesn’t smell like a beautifully fragrant flower growing next to a sewage treatment plant.

Gregory Griggs

Gregory Griggs, Gregory Griggs,
     Had twenty-seven different wigs.
He wore them up, he wore them down,
     To please the people of the town.
He wore them east, he wore them west,
    And never could tell which one he liked best.

by Author Unknown

Alternatives to wigs include hats, bonnets, and scarves.

Riddle: Six people went swimming but only five got wet hair - why?
Answer: One of the people was bald.

People with hair loss are no different than anyone else. In fact, at one time, they probably had hair just like you do, and at some time, you yourself may have some hair loss. So, when you see a bald man, woman, or child, treat him or her just as you would want to be treated if you were in the same circumstances. And, if a person has hair loss and wears a wig or toupée or has a comb-over, or wears a scarf or hat, avoid saying anything either good or bad about it - in fact, it is better to keep your thoughts to yourself and leave them unsaid than it would be to hurt someone’s feelings. Sometimes people do not have a choice in what happens to them, so they do as best they can to live with how their lives have turned out. Still, they too, like to Make Fun Of Life! . . . and they are always welcome here.

There Was an Old Person of Brigg

There was an old person of Brigg,
Who purchased no end of a wig;
So that only his nose,
And the end of his toes,
Could be seen when he walked about Brigg.

by Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872), limerick 98

“There’s one thing about baldness - it’s neat.” -Don Herold

Bob: What is the cure for dandruff?
Otto: Baldness.

“Toupée or not toupée, that is the question.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Experience is a comb which nature gives to men when they are bald.” -Author Unknown

Advice to fools: Bald people are intelligent and perceptive. Do not insult them, unless you are prepared to hear remarks about how one of your ears hangs lower than the other one, or how you have a freckle shaped like an otter on your left elbow and a trio of hairy moles dancing on your neck or some other characteristic that is twenty-thousand times worse than what you might imagine baldness to be.

“Grass doesn’t grow on a busy street.” -William Hague, commenting on being bald

“I seem to have developed a compulsion to powder my wig . . . about 50 times a day now . . . professionals just don’t seem to be of any help.” -Author Unknown

Baldness: An admirable trait of the ideal human being, according to minimalists and efficiency experts.

“Bald people never have bad hair days.” -Author Unknown

Chris: Why are you staring at me like that?
Kelly: I was just admiring your bald spot.

“Some folks say that worry causes hair loss - that when the going gets tough, the tufts get going.” -Author Unknown

Maybe it seemed like a good idea at the time . . . but today the company no longer exists . . . perhaps the proliferation of long-term hair-leasing companies put them out of business?

“A look at their domes makes it obvious that as men grow older, they become hard of hairing.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

Old Man of Bombay

There once was a man from Bombay
Who wore on his head a toupée.
He thought that he might
Give friends a delight
And remove his toupée for a day.

by Author Unknown

The most common method to hide a bald spot is to remove all of one’s hair, making one’s entire self a giant bald spot.

Have you heard about the new worldwide holiday, called Make Fun of People with Hair Day?

An interesting thing about male pattern baldness is that it does not appear to come in checkers or plaids or stripes . . .

“I’ve always wanted to be bald. I mean it, completely bald. Wouldn’t it be great to be bald in the rain?” -Harrison Ford

Hair Loss and Wigs Quiz
- What hair color do they put on a bald person’s driver’s license?
- If a bald person works as a chef at a restaurant, does he or she have to wear a hairnet?
- Is there any way to avoid the ‘chrome dome’ look, in which a bald person’s head becomes shiny and reflective?
- Should bald people pay lower taxes than other taxpayers?
- How should bald people be treated?

“Underneath their hair, everyone is bald! Hair is just an ornament or decoration.” -Author Unknown

“The most delightful advantage to being bald: one can hear snowflakes.” -R. G. Daniels

We have been losing what little hair we still have trying to come up with more Hair Loss and Wigs humor and information. We have much more fun stuff on a surprising variety of other topics, if you will just continue traveling down the page . . . this way to further fun . . . on MFOL!

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Superheroes

7/3/2019

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This looks like a job for a superhero . . . or perhaps it is a job for you . . .

“Ask yourself who you want to help today, then put on your cape and do it.” -Scottie Somers

Judy: Who can leap higher than a tall building?
Jody: Anybody, because tall buildings cannot leap!

Admit it, at some point in life, you have tried to see if you have super powers.

Darla: Why did the superhero cross the road?
Marla: To get to the supermarket.

Overheard: I am not saying I am Batman, I am just saying that no one has ever seen me and Batman in a room together.

Myrna: What is Batman’s favorite part of a joke?
Verna: The ‘punch’ line!

We have a great idea for a new superhero: Spudman. Like all potato people, he has many ‘eyes’ so he can simultaneously see in all directions without having to turn and look. His secret hideout is underground in a farm field, although he is often spotted in the produce section at grocery stores. He has to contend with a number of villainous chefs who want to turn him into garlic mashed potatoes, onion-potato cakes, a bacon-and-chives topped stuffed baked potato, or other fabulous foodstuffs, while he tries to save the people of Vegopolis from a massive celery famine, all the while being distracted by Sweet Potato and Candied Yam, both of whom are competing for his attention . . . what’s that . . . oh, gotta go, the boss is yelling at us to stop goofing around and get back to work!

Eunice: Why is Superman’s shirt so tight?
Eustice: Because it is a size ‘S’!

Kirby: How does the butler Alfred Pennyworth call Batman to dinner?
Herbie: “Dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner-Batman!!!” (Sing it to the tune of the 1960’s “Batman” television show theme music to get the full effect of the joke.)

Overheard: If I could be a superhero, I would be called Ironic. That way, when there is any trouble and I am running away from it, people would say, “Isn’t that Ironic?”

Every episode of the television show “Seinfeld” has a reference to Superman somewhere in it.

Alvin: What is Spiderman’s favorite month?
Vincent: Webruary.

Superman first appeared in “Action Comics no. 1” (June 1938).

Jingle Bells, Batman smells,
Robin laid an egg,
The bat-mobile lost its wheels,
And Joker got away!
-Author Unknown

People tend to think they are physically stronger when wearing Superman t-shirts.

Superboy: Why could Batman and Robin not go fishing?
Superman: Why?
Superboy: Because Robin ate all the worms!

Spiderman went to the video rental store and asked if he could have “Batman Forever.” The clerk said, “No, just 24 hours like everyone else.”

It’s just an ordinary day . . . in the life of a superhero . . . who lives by the code, “Do a good deed each day.”

Emma: How does Spiderman repair holes in his costume?
Emmit: With super glue!

The unassuming Clark Kent wears regular-people clothes, but when he becomes Superman, he rapidly changes into a colorful red-and-blue spandex suit with a cape - so what does he do with his regular clothes when he is in super-mode? Rumor has it that he wears his superhero outfit under his regular clothes, and that he has a hidden pocket in his cape, into which he places his super-neatly-folded regular clothes. Mystery solved!

Charlene: What would you get if Batman and his sidekick Robin were run over by a herd of stampeding elephants?
Darlene: Flatman and Ribbon.

Superman, also known as Clark Kent, was created in 1934 by Jerome ‘Jerry’ Siegel, a graduate of Glenville High School in Cleveland, Ohio, United States of America. Mr. Siegel’s partner, Joseph ‘Joe’ Shuster, improved the character with tights, a cape, and a handsome face. They moved to New York City, where they faced hard times and sold all rights to the comic-strip character to DC Comics for a mere $130. In June 1938, the first Superman comic appeared, and the muscle-bound flying man ‘really took off.’

Merlin: What was Batman doing in a tree?
Marlena: Looking for Robin.

As the mild-mannered Clark Kent, Superman is afraid of girls. He is probably worried that he will run into the one he stole the red-and-blue outfit he wears from.

Archie: What is green and sour and flies?
Archibald: Super Pickle!

The name ‘Clark Kent’ (Superman) was derived from the names of actors Clark Gable and Kent Taylor.

Ernest: What is the difference between the Green Lantern and a leprechaun?
Nestor: Nothing; they are both fictional characters.

Legal disclaimer on an actual superhero costume: Wearing this costume does not enable its wearer to fly.

“DC Comics is reviving Superman’s old outfit. I never understood Superman’s clothes. We all got used to the fact that he wears his underpants over the leotard. But why do his underpants have a belt on them?” -Jay Leno

Does ‘Spiderman’ have a ‘website’?

Mathilda: Where do superheroes hold their annual convention?
Hilda: Cape Town.

Unlikely Superheroes
- Vacuum Cleaner Sales & Repair Man: He not only sells you a vacuum cleaner, but he also fixes it if is ever broken.
- Shoe Collector Woman: Travels through the air in a flying shoe and throws shoes at criminals.
- Hysterical Parrot: Shows up and causes so much chaos and confusion that villains give up and flee the scene.
- Ironman: Saves people by removing the wrinkles from their clothes, as for example, just before their job interviews and weddings.
- The Historian: Has the power to become any person in history.
- The Caped Politician: Watches over polling places to make sure nobody cheats by voting more than once.
- The Cheapskate: A superhero who saves the world by showing people how to do everything for less money.
- The Element: A superhero who can become anything on the Periodic Table.
- The Angry Grenade: A superhero who explodes and then later reassembles.
- Can you think of others?

Superman climbed the Empire State Building to challenge King Kong to a fight. King Kong said, “I don’t have time - I’ve got to catch a plane!”

The Caped Crusader and the Boy Wonder, also known as Batman and Robin.

Thaddeus: Why did Batman go to the pet shop?
Tad: To buy a Robin.

Why do superheroes wear their underpants on the outside of their clothes? Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman all wear elaborate costumes. The trio of superhero characters was created between 1935 and 1945. They were meant to be men and women of action, so their costumes were based on the men and women of action of the time. Superman’s costume was originally like that of a circus strongman. Wonder Woman’s was modeled on the costume of a trapeze artist. Their costumes were meant to be flashy and exciting and glamorous. Batman’s costume was based more on the black-and-white ‘film noir’ movies of the times, which were about dark avengers who skulked about in the shadows, scaring the wits out of criminals (Sounds like fun, right? Maybe you should consider a career in law enforcement.). Because Batman was meant to be a scary character, his costume made him look like a creepy creature from the shadows. Those costume styles stuck and became clichéd, particularly since the three characters had become instant hits of that time period. So, when new superheroes began to arrive, they also tended to have capes and tights just like circus-strongman Superman wears, or colorful trapeze outfits like Wonder Woman wears, or dark cloaks and scary masks like Batman wears. Because superhero creators are competitive, the result over time was that superhero costumes became more and more show-offish. And, what looks like underwear worn on the outside of their superhero costumes is actually tight shorts commonly worn by circus performers of the time, which gave them freedom of movement as they did their stunts to entertain audiences. What may look like belts holding up their ‘underpants’ are ‘utility belts’ which can hold any number of tools and devices the superheroes deploy in their crime-fighting adventures.

Heather: Where does Spiderman hang out?
Heath: On the worldwide web.

“Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Superman!” -George Lother, making the program introduction for the “Superman” radio show (first broadcast on 12 February 1940)

Some superheroes have sidekicks, or partners, and some superheroes have no sidekicks.

If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer ever teamed up, would they become ‘alloys’?

Super Quiz
- What characteristics or traits do superheroes have in common with you?
- If you were a superhero, what would you choose as your alter-ego name?
- Which superhero would you like to have lunch with?
- If you were a superhero, what would your costume look like?
- Other than as entertainment, do superheroes serve any useful purpose?
- What people from history most resemble superheroes?

Mel: What was Batman’s ‘real’ name?
Nel: Bruce Wayne.

Overheard: If I could be any superhero, I would be Aluminum Man - my superpower would be ‘foiling’ crime . . .

Hope: How many caped crusaders does it take to change a light bulb?
Faith: None; for some reason, they actually seem to prefer the dark.

Have you ever wanted to be a superhero? Why wait? There is a place in cyberspace for real life superheroes - people who don costumes and fight crime or just do good deeds. Go to www.WorldSuperheroRegistry.com. Hope to see you there!

Aaron: What position did Bruce Wayne play on his little-league team?
Erin: He was the batboy.

Despite his name, ‘Spiderman’ does not eat bugs. He eats regular people food, just like the rest of us do.

Customer: Where does Superman shop for groceries?
Cashier: At the Supermarket!

We are MFOL! . . . saving humanity one joke at a time - remember, you do not need a cape or the ability to fly to go out into the world and Make Fun Of Life!

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Minds and Thinking

6/29/2019

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Are you thinking what we’re thinking?

“You live with your thoughts - so be careful what they are.” -Eva Arrington

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day.” -Elizabeth Gilbert

“Every thought we think is creating our future.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017))

A Beautiful Thought

It just can’t be given or bought
And must be most tenderly sought.
With a velvety pelt,
So soft it may melt -
It’s known as a beautiful thought.

by Author Unknown

“Everything’s in the mind. That’s where it starts. Knowing what you want is the first step toward getting it.” -Mae West (1893 - 1980)

“Minds are for people who think.” -Mark Jones (born 1953): “The A-Team,” Season 3, Episode 1 (18 September 1984); words appearing on a T-shirt worn by fictional character Madman Murdoch

“Positive thoughts generate positive feelings and attract positive life experiences.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t feed your mind with negative thoughts. If you do, you will come to believe them.” -Catherine Pulsifer

“Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?” -Author Unknown

“Clear thinking requires courage rather than intelligence.” -Thomas Szasz (Thomas S. Szasz (1920 - 2012))

“Our life is what our thoughts make it.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180)): “The Meditations” (C.E. 167), Book 4, meditation 3

“How can I tell what I think till I see what I say?” -E. M. Forster (Edward Morgan Forster (1879 - 1970)): “Aspects of the Novel” (1927)

“Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.” -Ernest Holmes (Ernest Shurtleff Holmes (1887 - 1960))

“Let one therefore keep the mind pure, for what a man thinks, that he becomes.” -Author Unknown: “The Upanishads”

“Where does a thought go when it’s forgotten?” -Sigmund Freud (1856 - 1939)

“Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life.” -Anthony Robbins

“Thoughts, like fleas, jump from man to man, but they don’t bite everybody.” -Stanislaw Jerzy Lec (1909 - 1966): “Unkempt Thoughts” (1957)

“Throughout all history, the great wise men and teachers, philosophers and prophets, have disagreed with one another on many different things. It is only on this one point that they are in complete and unanimous agreement. We become what we think about.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“Whatever you think about grows in your life.” -Author Unknown

“When people will not weed their own minds, they are apt to be overrun with nettles.” -Horace Walpole (1717 - 1797): in a letter (10 July 1779) to Caroline, Countess of Ailesbury

“Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bear bad fruit.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“A thought is a substance, producing the thing that is imagined by the thought.” -Wallace D. Wattles

“Change your thoughts, change your life.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“It is your ability to think that is your chief source of value; in fact, you are a mind with a body to carry it around in.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“A purely mental life may be destructive if it leads us to substitute thought for life and ideas for actions. The activity proper to man is not purely mental because man is not just a disembodied mind. Our destiny is to live out what we think, because unless we live what we know, we do not even know it. It is only by making our knowledge part of ourselves, through action, that we enter into the reality that is signified by our concepts.” -Thomas Merton (1915 - 1968)

“Guard your thoughts carefully. The quality of your thinking determines the quality of your life.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.” - René Descartes (1596 - 1650)

“Don’t try to think too many thoughts all at once. Even the smartest among us can only think one or two things at a time.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Thought is action in rehearsal.” -Author Unknown

“No mind is much employed on the present. Recollection and anticipation fill up almost all our moments.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“We are creatures of our thinking. We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“The finest thought runs the risk of being irrevocably forgotten if we do not write it down.” -Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860): “Essays of Arthur Schopenhauer” (as translated by T. Bailey Saunders (1851)), ‘The Art of Literature: On Thinking for One’s Self’

“Think only about what you want . . . never dwell on what you don’t want.” -Shane K. Hughes

“When all men think alike, no one thinks very much.” -Walter Lippmann (1889 - 1974): as quoted in “Speakers Encyclopedia” (1955)

“Good impulses are naught, unless they become good actions.” -Joseph Joubert (1754 - 1824), as quoted in Paul Auster, translator: “The Notebooks of Joseph Joubert” (1883)

“We seem to do most of our thinking in our minds.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Avoid destructive thinking. Improper negative thoughts sink people. A ship can sail around the world many, many times, but just let enough water get into the ship and it will sink.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.” -Author Unknown

“Nurture your mind with great thoughts; to believe in the heroic makes heroes.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881): “Coningsby” (1844), book 3, chapter I

“We can do only what we think we can do. We can be only what we think we can be. We can have only what we think we can have. What we do, what we are, what we have, all depend on what we think.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“What’s going on in the inside shows on the outside.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“The mind attracts the thing it dwells upon.” -Napoleon Hill (born Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“A penny for your thoughts.” -Author Unknown

“Our best friends and our worst enemies are our thoughts.” -Frank Crane (1861 - 1928)

“We become what we think about.” -Napoleon Hill (born Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“My thinking is first and last and always for the sake of my doing.” -William James (1842 - 1910): “The Principles of Psychology” (1890), Chapter 22

“We become what we think about most of the time, and that’s the strangest secret.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” -Author Unknown

“The biggest lesson I have ever learned is the stupendous importance of what we think. If I knew what you think, I would know what you are, for your thoughts make you what you are; by changing our thoughts, we can change our lives.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“If you change your way of thinking, you change your life.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

The mind is its own place, and in it self
Can make a Heave’n of Hell, a Hell of Heav’n.
-John Milton (1608 - 1674): “Paradise Lost” (1667), Book 1, lines 254 through 255

“Such as are your habitual thoughts, such also will be the character of your mind.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus (C.E. 26 April 121 - C.E. 180))

“I realize that I will be, when my life’s labor is complete, the product of my thoughts.” -George Albert Smith

“A man is literally what he thinks.” -James Lane Allen (1849 - 1925)

“Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don’t count on harvesting Golden Delicious.” -Bill Meyer

“Few minds wear out; more rust out.” -Christian Nestell Bovee (1820 - 1904): “Intuitions and Summaries of Thought” (1862), volume 1

“Do not worry at all about negative thoughts, and do not try to control them. All you have to do is begin to think good thoughts each day. Plant as many good thoughts as you can in each day. As you begin to think good thoughts you will attract more and more good thoughts, and eventually the good thoughts will wipe out the negative thoughts altogether.” -Rhonda Byrne

“If we examine our thoughts, we shall find them always occupied with the past and the future.” -Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

“Life is but thought.” -Sara Teasdale (Sara Teasdale Filsinger (1884 - 1933))

“Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“If we keep an open mind, too much is likely to fall into it.” -Natalie Clifford Barney (1876 - 1972)

“What you think about you bring about.” -Author Unknown

“Training and managing your own mind is the most important skill you could ever own, in terms of both happiness and success.” -T. Harv Eker

“Happy thoughts are half of your health.” -Author Unknown

“You are free to think thoughts of worry or joy, and whatever you choose will attract the same kind back to you. Worry attracts worry. Joy attracts joy.” -Rhonda Byrne

It is the mind that maketh good or ill,
That maketh wretch or happy, rich or poor.
by Edmund Spenser (1552 - 1599)

“Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment.” -Ira Gassen

“Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change.” -Author Unknown

“Thoughts have power. Thoughts are energy. You can make your world or break it by your thinking.” -Susan Taylor

“Ultimate human power is not in our possessions, but in our minds.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: Sometimes you have to think outside your mind . . .

“Man is made or unmade by himself . . . In the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace. By the right choice and true application of thought, man ascends to the Divine Perfection; by the abuse and wrong application of thought, he descends below the level of the beast. Between these two extremes are all the grades of character, and man is their maker and master.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912): “As a Man Thinketh” (1903)

“You become what you think about all day long.” -Author Unknown

“Thought creates character.” -Annie Bessant (1847 - 1933)

“Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life. If you continue to believe as you have always believed, you will continue to act as you have always acted. If you continue to act as you have always acted, you will continue to get what you have always gotten. If you want different results in your life or your work, all you have to do is change your mind.” -Author Unknown

“The thoughts we choose to think are the tools we use to paint the canvas of our lives.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017))

“What you think about comes about.” -Author Unknown

“What you think means more than anything else in your life. More than you earn, more than where you live, more than you social position, and more than what anyone else may think about you.” -George M. Adams (George Matthew Adams (1878 - 1962))

“A thought is a thing as real as a cannonball.” -Joseph Joubert (1754 - 1824), as quoted in Paul Auster, translator: “The Notebooks of Joseph Joubert” (1883)

“Our lives would run a lot more smoothly if second thoughts came first.” -Author Unknown

“Our life is what our thoughts make it. A man will find that as he alters his thoughts toward things and other people, things and other people will alter towards him.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“You are what you think.” -Author Unknown

“The secret of living a life of excellence is merely a matter of thinking thoughts of excellence. Really, it’s a matter of programming our minds with the kind of information that will set us free.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“If you can think it, you can do it.” -Author Unknown

“You are today where your thoughts have brought you. You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Your life is a reflection of your thoughts. Think well.” -Danielle Pierre

We are MFOL! - and that is pretty much all of our thoughts on thinking . . .

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Sleep and Dreams

6/28/2019

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What nightmares are made of . . . or perhaps just a fury alarm clock?

An important part of your bedtime routine should include checking to see if there are any monsters hiding under your bed. If there are, get them each a glass of milk and some cookies.

Olive: What is the difference between a sleeping person and an awake person?
Oliver: With some people, it can be hard to tell the difference.

Sleep and Dreams Facts
- The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
- The ideal temperature for falling asleep is between 18 and 30 degrees Celsius (64 and 86 degrees Fahrenheit).
- About ninety percent of people depend on an alarm clock to wake them up.
- The most frequently requested wakeup call time at hotels is 7:00 a.m.

With a butterfly kiss and a ladybug hug,
     Sleep tight little one, like a bug in a rug.
-Author Unknown

“Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.” -Tommy Cooper

“The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night’s sleep.” -E. Joseph Cossman (Eli Joseph Cossman (1918 - 2002))

“Nothing makes us so sleepy as the bell of our alarm clock.” -William A. Feather (William Arthur Feather (1889 - 1981)): as quoted in Ted Landphair: “Featherisms” (6 October 2008)

In the days of English playwright William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), mattresses were filled with straw and held up by rope stretched across the bed frames. When someone pulled on the rope to tighten it, a mattress would sag less and become firmer, for a more comfortable sleep . . . and that is supposedly the origin of the phrase, “Good night, sleep tight!”

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The Cock Crows

The cock crows in the morn
     To tell us to rise,
And he that lies late
     Will never be wise.

For early to bed
     And early to rise
Is the way to be healthy,
     Wealthy, and wise.

by Author Unknown

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“Sleeping is easy - I can even do it with my eyes closed.” -Author Unknown

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I walk in my sleep!
Doctor: Remember to take money for the bus, then!

“There is a close connection between getting up in the world and getting up in the morning.” -Author Unknown

Rumor has it that if you want to have interesting dreams, you should eat a big hunk of rich chocolate cake with chocolate frosting right before going to bed.

“The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.” - Wilson Mizner (1876 - 1933)

“To sleep, perchance to dream - ay, there’s the rub.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Hamlet,” Act 3, lines 65 - 68

Al: Did you hear the joke about the bed?
Len: No.
Al: That’s because it hasn’t been ‘made up’ yet.

Dream: Suspension of executive commands for an interval while executing random code in memory.

Georgia: How can you shorten a bed?
George: Don’t sleep ‘long’ on it.

“I had just dozed off into a stupor when I heard what I thought was myself talking to myself. I didn’t pay much attention to it, as I knew practically everything I would have to say to myself, and wasn’t particularly interested.” -Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)

Pollyanna: What question can never be answered with, “Yes”?
Jenna: “Are you asleep?”

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Keep a Poem in Your Pocket

Keep a poem in your pocket
     and a picture in your head
and you’ll never feel lonely
     at night when you’re in bed.

The little poem will sing to you
     the little picture bring to you
a dozen dreams to dance to you
     at night when you’re in bed.

So - keep a picture in your pocket
     and poem in your head
and you’ll never feel lonely
     at night when you’re in bed.

by Beatrice Schenk de Regniers

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Edward: What is huge and gray and sends people to sleep?
Eduardo: A hypno-potamus.

“There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.” -Author Unknown

“If people were meant to pop out of bed, we’d all sleep in toasters.” -Author Unknown

Robin: What is the best thing to do if you are a worm who is worried about being caught by the early bird?
Sparrow: Sleep late!

“Dreams . . . are very mysterious things. They float around in the night air like little clouds, searching for sleeping people.” -Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990): “Danny, the Champion of the World” (1975)

A proposed new invention, the microwave bed, would allow a person to get eight hours sleep in just three minutes. We are going to buy two of them, so that we can get eight hours of sleep in just one-and-a-half minutes!

“He who sleeps in continual noise is wakened by silence.” -W. D. Howells (William Dean Howells (1837 - 1920))

“Oversleeping keeps a lot of dreams from coming true.” -Charley Grant

Ellie: Why was the man running around his bed?
Lou: Because he wanted to catch up on his sleep.

“It is no small art to sleep, to achieve it one must keep awake all day. -Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)

Elias Howe said one inspiration for his invention of the sewing machine came from a nightmare he had about being attacked by cannibals bearing spears that looked like the needle he then designed.

“All the things one has forgotten scream for help in dreams.” -Elias Cannetti

Jeffrey: Who sleeps at night with his shoes still on?
Geoffrey: A horse.

A Ruggie is a pressure-sensitive alarm clock that looks like a floor mat. You place it on the floor beside your bed, it awakens you in the morning with an alarm sound, and then it shuts off only after you get up and stand on it. Now that is one way to be sure you head out of bed in the morning! To learn more about Ruggies, visit www.ruggie.co (please note that the website suffix is ‘.co’ rather than ‘.com’).

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Goodnight!

Goodnight, sleep tight,
     Don’t let the bedbugs bite -
If they do, get your shoe,
     And hit them till they’re black and blue!

Goodnight, sleep tight,
     Don’t let the bedbugs bite -
If they do, here’s what to do:
     Blow them up with dynamite!

by Author Unknown

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Al: I haven’t slept for days.
Elle: How come?
Al: I only sleep at night.

“It’s hard to sleep at night if you’re worried that a ten-pound frog from Southern Cameroon may come and jump on your stomach.” -Charles M. Schulz (Charles Monroe Schulz (1922 - 2000))

A Young Lady Named Eams

There was a young lady named Eams,
Who, it seems, was troubled with dreams.
     She would wake in the night,
     And, in terrible fright,
Shake the beams of the house with her screams.

by Author Unknown

A man went to a doctor for a checkup. The doctor asked, “How do you sleep?” The man said, “I sleep good at night and I sleep good in the morning, but come afternoon, I get restless!”

Last night, as I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, I thought to myself, “Where is the ceiling?”

Ersa: Where does the Little Mermaid sleep?
Erma: In her water-bed.

Late-Night Snack

There was an old man of Peru
Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.
     He woke in the night,
     With a terrible fright,
And found it was perfectly true.

by Author Unknown

“I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it’s going to be up all night.” -Steven Wright (born in 1955)

“May you sleep like a log . . . but not like a sawmill.” -Author Unknown

“When they cannot get to sleep, some people count sheep, and others talk to the Shepherd.” -Author Unknown

You may have heard about sleepwalking, but do you know that people are supposedly capable of doing other activities in their sleep? Maybe that person in the car ahead of you is sleep-driving, which would explain why they left their turn-signal on for the last twenty miles, and why when the traffic light turns green, they just continue to sit there.

Slept like a log last night . . . woke up this morning on top of the woodpile.

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Bedtime

The evening is coming,
     The Sun sinks to rest;
The rooks are all flying
     Straight home to their rest.

“Caw!” says the rook,
     As he flies overhead;
“It’s time little people
     Were going to bed!”

by Author Unknown

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If you cannot sleep, try counting your blessings. For example, you still have most of your fingers and toes, you can still think lots of interesting thoughts, and you have a sense of humor that allows you to recognize that this is a joke. What other blessings can you add to this list?

If you think you dream in color, isn’t it really just a pigment of your imagination?

Husband: It must be time to get up.
Wife: How can you tell?
Husband: The baby has finally fallen asleep.

“I find that when you have a real interest in life and a curious life, that sleep is not the most important thing.” -Martha Stewart

Wally: When are you most likely to dream about monsters?
Wallace: When you are asleep.

“He who sleeps on the floor will not fall off the bed.” -Robert Gronock

A Little Thought to Close the Day

The day, with the work God gave me to do, is done, and now He has given me the night, quiet and soothing, for rest. I will, therefore, trust myself - body and spirit - into His loving, tender care, through the mystery of sleep. As flood tides from the ocean fill each bay or inlet, so power and love and peace can fill my life to overflowing as I rest quietly, serenely, patiently, bravely, lovingly, with confidence and perfect faith.”

by Author Unknown

Helpful Tip: A spring-loaded mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

Goodnight stars
Goodnight air
Goodnight noises everywhere
-Margaret Wise Brown: “Goodnight Moon” (1947)

Toby: How do you know an elephant is hiding under your bed?
Tobias: Because when you get into bed, your nose touches the ceiling.

Dream tonight of peacock tails,
     Diamond fields, and spouter whales.
Ills are many, blessing few,
     But dreams tonight will shelter you.
-Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)

MFOL! . . . because life is not fun enough . . .

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Criticisms and Critics

6/26/2019

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One wonders, might there be more to life than just expressing likes and dislikes?

“I am not given to finding fault, for there are innumerable fools.” -Plato (about 427 - about 347 B.C.E.): “Protagoras”

“Some people find fault like there’s a reward for it.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“A critic is a gong at a railroad crossing clanging loudly and vainly as the train goes by.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))

“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’re a mile away from them - and you have their shoes!” -Henny Youngman (1906 - 1998)

“I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.” -Marcus Tullius Cicero (also known as Tully or simply Cicero (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.))

Riddle: What is easier to give than receive?
Solution: Criticism.

“The reason to not take things personally is to understand that what people say about you is a reflection of them, not you.” -Author Unknown

Critics

What one approves, another scorns,
     And thus his nature each discloses;
You find the rosebush full of thorns,
     I find the thornbush full of roses.

by Arthur Guiterman (1871 - 1943)

“Never allow anyone to rain on your parade and thus cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day. Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the fault-finding business. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it. Your time is too precious to be sacrificed in wasted days combating the menial forces of hate, jealously, and envy. Guard your fragile life carefully. Only God can shape a flower, but any foolish child can pull it to pieces.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.” -Author Unknown

“The sad part about life is that we tend to comment only on those who do it wrong and neglect to balance it with praise for those who do it right.” -Keith Ready

“Wink at small faults.” -John Clarke (1596 - 1658): “Proverbs: English and Latine” (1639)

“Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

“Sandwich every bit of criticism between two thick layers of praise.” -Mary Kay Ash (born Mary Kathlyn Wagner (1918 - 2001))

“Much of what people attempt to pass off as criticism or even constructive criticism is actually condemnation and an effort to slight or wound or destroy another person. You must develop a hard protective shell around your essential self to stop the slings and arrows of the critical and judgmental people you will encounter throughout your lifetime.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Long experience has taught me that to be criticized is not always to be wrong.” -Anthony Eden: in a speech at the Lord Mayor’s Guildhall banquet during the Suez crisis, as quoted in the “Daily Herald” (10 November 1956) newspaper

The stones that critics hurl with harsh intent
     A man may use to build his monument.
-Arthur Guiterman (1871 - 1943)

“Criticism is a destroyer of self-worth and esteem.” -H. Burke Peterson (Harold Burke Peterson (1923 - 2013)): ‘Preparing the Heart,’ in “Ensign” (May 1990) magazine, page 83

“When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.” -Louis Nizer (1902 - 1994)

Many people who call themselves ‘critics’ would better serve the world if they instead made themselves into ‘reviewers’ and their ‘critiques’ into ‘reviews.’

“Criticizing another’s garden does not keep the weeds out of your own.” -Author Unknown

“To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.” -Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1788))

“The man who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away.” -Charles M. Schwab (Charles Michael Schwab (1862 - 1939))

“If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it.” -Author Unknown

“Criticism of others is futile and if you indulge in it often you should be warned that it can be fatal to your career.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

Hypercritical: Excessively and unreasonably critical, especially of small faults.

“He who fancies himself very enlightened, because he sees the deficiencies of others, may be very ignorant, because he has not studied his own.” -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)

“Pay no attention to what the critics say. A statue has never been put up in honor of a critic.” -Jean Sibelius (1865 - 1957)

“Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.” -Bill Nye (Edgar Wilson ‘Bill’ Nye (1850 - 1896)), referring to Richard Wagner

“What you dislike in another, take care to correct in yourself.” -Thomas Sprat

“Movie Critic: A person who gives the best jeers of his or her life to the theater.” -Author Unknown

“People who judge others are insecure about themselves.” -Author Unknown

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” -Dale Carnegie -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

“Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours burn any brighter.” -Author Unknown

“To find fault is easy; to do better may be difficult.” -Plutarch (C.E. 46 - C.E. 120)

“Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without comment is a wonderful social grace.” -Judith Martin (born 1938)

“Sometimes people try to expose what’s wrong with you because they can’t handle everything that’s right about you.” -Author Unknown

“Make it your habit not to be critical about small things.” -Edward Everett Hale (1822 - 1909): as quoted in Jessie K. Freeman and Sarah S. B. Yule, editors: “Thoughts Selected from the Writings of Favorite Authors” (1901)

“Criticism is something we can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” -Aristotle (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.)

“Judge not, that ye be not judged.” -Matthew: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Matthew,’ chapter 7, verse 1

“If we had no faults we should not take so much pleasure in noting those of others.” -Duc de Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)

“Court not the critic’s smile, nor dread his frown.” -Walter Scott (1771 - 1832)

“The most insignificant people are the most apt to sneer at others. They are safe from reprisals and have no hope of rising in their own self-esteem but by lowering their neighbors.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

“People who try to whittle you down are only trying to reduce you to their size.” -Author Unknown

“Criticism comes easier than craftsmanship.” -Zeuxis of Heraclea (464 B.C.E. - 400 B.C.E.)

“Don’t worry about what people say about you; they are busy finding faults in your life instead of fixing the faults in their own lives.” -Author Unknown

“Criticism is a life without risk.” -John Lahr (born 1941): “Light Fantastic: Adventures in Theatre” (1996)

“You can run with the big dogs or sit on the porch and bark.” -Wallace Arnold

“Our worst fault is our preoccupation with the faults of others.” -Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931): as quoted in Robin Waterfield, editor: “The Voice of Kahlil Gibran: An Anthology” (1995)

“Wouldn’t it be nice if we could find other things as easily as we find fault?” -Author Unknown

“It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“The man who is anybody and who does anything is surely going to be criticized, vilified, and misunderstood. This is part of the penalty for greatness, and every man understands, too, that it is no proof of greatness.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

Overheard: People who have time to point out others’ mistakes have time to do some work.

“Pay more attention to your Creator than your critics.” -Author Unknown

“No matter what you or anyone else does, there will be someone who says that there’s something bad about it. Whenever somebody comes up with a good idea, there’s somebody else who has never had a good idea in his life who stands up and says, ‘Oh, you can’t do that . . .’” -Tom Clancy (born 1947)

“When one dog barks another will join it.” -Author Unknown

“Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940)

“Usually our criticism of others is not because they have faults, but because their faults are different than ours.” -Roger Eastman

Can you list ten things more fun and interesting to do than criticizing others?

“Those who can, do. Those who can’t, criticize.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

“Be a doer and not a critic.” -Tony Blair

“Criticism does not make you smarter or better than the one you are criticizing. In fact, the stuff you are critical of in others is the same stuff you don’t like about yourself.” -Iyanla Vanzant

“It is easier to pull down than to build up.” -Author Unknown

“He has never learned anything, and he can do nothing in decent style.” -Author Unknown: comment made by Beethoven’s teacher

“It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are, the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719)

“When we criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.” -Richard Carlson (1961 - 2006)

“Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember - the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“People criticized me. So I changed. But people still criticized me. So I changed more. And still people criticized me. Then finally I realized it’s what they will do, no matter what. And I changed once more, by no longer listening to those people.” -Brian Vaszily

“I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism.” -Charles M. Schwab (Charles Michael Schwab (1862 - 1939))

“Be an encourager. The world has plenty of critics already.” -Dave Willis

“‘Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,’ he told me, ‘just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages you’ve had.’” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)): “The Great Gatsby,” Chapter 1

“In reality, the world have payed too great a compliment to critics, and have imagined them men of much greater profundity than they really are.” -Henry Fielding (1707 - 1754): “Tom Jones” (1749), book 5, chapter 1

“The higher we soar, the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark up to no good.” -P. G. Wodehouse (Pelham Grenville Wodehouse (1881 - 1975))

“It is ridiculous for any man to criticize the works of another if he has not distinguished himself by his own performances.” -Joseph Addison

“Our souls may lose their peace and even disturb other people’s, if we are always criticizing trivial actions - which often are not real defects at all, but we construe them wrongly through our ignorance of their motives.” -Teresa of Ávila (born Teresa de Cepeda y Ahumada (1515 - 1582))

“When criticized, consider the source.” -Author Unknown

“Criticism is easy, art is difficult.” -Philippe Destouches

“If you are always finding fault, you will seldom find anything else.” -Author Unknown

“Answer them with silence and indifference. It works better, I assure you, than anger and argument.” -Gioacchino Rossini (1792 - 1868), commenting on critics

“Let he who is without fault cast the first stone.” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘John,’ chapter 8, verse 7

“Anybody can point out anybody else’s bad qualities. If you want to distinguish yourself, go around pointing out good qualities.” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . a website put together by some folks who could have been clowns but who lack costumes . . . and who also have no discernible talent for being clowns . . . how’s that for criticism?

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Hopes and Dreams

6/24/2019

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“Everything begins as a dream.” -Author Unknown

“Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.” -Author Unknown

“Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945))

“To accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” -Anatole France (pseudonym of Jacques Anatole François Thibault (1844 - 1924)): as quoted in Sidney Greenberg, editor: “Treasury of the Art of Living” (1964)

“Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Do all you can to make your dreams come true.” -Joel Osteen (born 1963)

“HOPE: Hanging Onto Positive Expectations.” -Author Unknown

“If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.” -Flavia Weedn (Flavia Marie Weedn (1929 - 2015)): “Flavia and the Dream Maker” (1998)

“Hope costs nothing.” -Colette (Sidonie Gabrielle Colette 1873 - 1954))

“The hopeful man sees success where others see failure; sunshine where others see shadows and storm.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Hope has two beautiful daughters, named Anger and Courage; Anger at the way things are, and Courage to change them.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430))

“Dreams come a size too big so you can grow into them.” -Author Unknown

“In all things it is better to hope than to despair.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Hold on to your dreams, for they are, in a sense, the stuff of which reality is made. It is through our dreams that we maintain the possibility of a better, more meaningful life.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

“The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope.” -Barbara Kingsolver (born 1955)

“No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t lose hope. When the Sun goes down, the stars come out.” -Author Unknown

“What steps could you take right now to begin turning your dreams into realities?” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Hope works for one reason: Those who believe something is possible will work toward achieving it and encourage others; those who believe something is not possible will give up, never begin, and disparage those who have hope.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.” -Dale E. Turner (1917 - 2006)

“While there’s life, there’s hope.” -Terence (Publius Terentius Afer (185 B.C.E. - 159 B.C.E.)): “Heuton timoroumenos,” line 981

“Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.” -John Updike (John Hoyer Updike (1932 - 2009))

“Hope doesn’t require a massive chain where heavy links of logic hold it together. A thin wire will do . . . just strong enough to get us through the night until the winds die down.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“Set out each day believing in your dreams. Know without a doubt that you were made for amazing things.” -Josh Hinds (Josh Stephen Hinds (born 1973))

“Hope, like the gleaming taper’s light,
Adorns and cheers our way;
And still, as darker grows the night,
Emits a brighter ray.”
-Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774): “The Captivity” (1764), Act II

“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.” -Christopher Reeve (Christopher D’Olier Reeve (1952 - 2004))

“Hope is necessary in every condition. The miseries of poverty, of sickness, or captivity, would, without this comfort, be insupportable; nor does it appear that the happiest lot of terrestrial existence can set us above the want of this general blessing; or that life, when the gifts of nature and of fortune are accumulated upon it, would not still be wretched, were it not elevated and delighted by the expectation of some new possession, of some enjoyment yet behind, by which the wish shall at last be satisfied, and the heart filled up to its utmost extent.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (1750 - 1752), number 67

“Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall at last unveil.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“When the world says, ‘Give up,’ Hope whispers, ‘Try one more time.’” -Author Unknown

“We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.” -Jesse Owens (1913 - 1980)

“Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.” -Leo J. Suenens (Leo Jozef Suenens (1904 - 1996))

“At the darkest moment comes the light.” -Joseph Campbell (1904 - 1987)

“Dreams are necessary to life.” -Anaïs Nin (born Angela Anaïs Juana Antolina Rosa Edelmira Nin y Culmell (1903 - 1977))

“Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.” -Thornton Wilder (Thornton Niven Wilder (1897 - 1975))

“Dreams are the seedlings of realities.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.” -Thich Nhat Hanh (born 1926)

“It may be that those who do most, dream most.” -Stephen Butler Leacock (1869 - 1944)

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work; you don’t give up.” -Anne ‘Annie’ Lamott (born 1954)

“Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second. Give your dreams all you’ve got and you’ll marvel at the energy that comes out of you.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“Hope is a vigorous principle; it is furnished with light and heat to advise and execute; it sets the head and heart to work, and animates a man to do his utmost. And thus, by perpetually pushing and assurance, it puts a difficulty out of countenance, and makes a seeming impossibility give way.” -Jeremy Collier (1650 - 1726)

“I have had dreams and I have had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.” -Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995)

“The path to a dream is paved with sacrifices and lined with determination. And although it has many stumbling blocks along the way and may go in more than one direction, it is marked with faith. It is traveled by belief in you and others but requires courage, persistence, and hard work. It is conquered with a willingness to face challenges and take chances, to fail and try again and again. Along the way, you may have to confront doubts, setbacks, and unfairness. But when the path comes to an end, you will find that there is no greater joy than making your dream come true.” -Author Unknown

“Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940)

“It is good to dream, but it is better to dream and work. Faith is mighty, but action with faith is mightier. Desiring is helpful, but work and desire are invincible.” -Thomas Robert Gaines

“Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive. If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even where confidence is wounded, trust impaired.” -Erik Erikson (1902 - 1994)

“The only thing that stands in between you and your dreams is the will to try and the belief that it is actually possible.” -Joel Brown

“There is always hope.” -Author Unknown

“Miracles start to happen when you give as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears.” -Richard Wilkins

“A pocket full of hope is worthless if spent in all the wrong places on all the wrong people.” -S. L. Heaton (Shirley L. Heaton)

“Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.” -Author Unknown

“The hopes of men have been justly called waking dreams.” -Basil (C.E. 330 - C.E. 379): letter to Gregory of Nazianzus: as quoted in S. Baring-Gould (Sabine Baring-Gould (1834 - 1924)): “The Lives of the Saints” (1873)

“The capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. It provides human beings with a sense of destination and the energy to get started.” -Norman Cousins (1915 - 1990)

“Of all the people I have ever known, those who have pursued their dreams and failed have lived a much more fulfilling life than those who have put their dreams on a shelf for fear of failure.” -Author Unknown

“Hope is like the Sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“At every crossroad, follow your dream. It is courageous to let your heart lead the way.” -Leland Thomas

“Never stop believing in hope because miracles happen every day.” -Author Unknown

“Dreams don’t work unless you do.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“Hope is as cheap as Despair.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2542

“Dreams can come true if you take the time to think about what you want in life.” -Author Unknown

“Practice hope. As hopefulness becomes a habit, you can achieve a permanently happy spirit.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“When you have a dream, you’ve got to grab it and never let go.” -Carol Burnett (Carol Creighton Burnett (born 1933))

“My hopes are not always realized, but I always hope.” -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18))

“Every moment is another chance to make your dreams come true.” -Author Unknown

“False hope is better than no hope at all.” -Author Unknown

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.” -J. K. Rowling (pseudonym of Joanne ‘Jo’ Rowling (1965)): “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” (1997)

“If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.” -Clement of Alexandria (also known as Titus Flavius Clemens (about C.E. 150 - about C.E. 215))

“Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away.” -Tom Clancy (Thomas Leo Clancy, Junior (1947 - 2013))

“Where there is no hope, there can be no endeavor.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (6 April 1751) journal

“All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“The real people of genius were resolute workers, not idle dreamers.” -George Henry Lewes (1817 - 1878)

“For hope is but the dream of those that wake.” -Matthew Prior (1664 - 1721): “Solomon on the Vanity of the World,” book iii, line 102

“All men of action are dreamers.” -James G. Huneker (James Gibbons Huneker (1860 - 1921))

“Trust your hopes, not your fears.” -David Mahoney

“Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.” -Author Unknown

“Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” -Gloria Steinem (born 1934)

“People too weak to follow their own dreams typically tend to find a way to discourage yours.” -Author Unknown

“Hope never abandons you; you abandon it.” -George Weinberg

“Dreams and wishes do not come true by themselves, but without dreams and wishes behind them, actions - and even life itself - can seem undirected and purposeless.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If it were not for Hopes, the Heart would break.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2689

“Nothing happens unless first a dream.” -Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967)

“Everything that is done in the world is done by the hopeful. No matter your age. No matter your circumstances. No matter your financial wealth. Without hope, nothing is possible. But with hope . . . well . . . watch out.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Your dreams tell you what to do; your reason tells you how to do it.” -Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995)

“Hope is itself a species of happiness, and, perhaps, the chief happiness which this world affords.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832): “Faust,” lines 214 and 215, as translated by John Anster (1835)

“Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.” -Author Unknown

“All our dreams can come true - if we have the courage to pursue them.” -Walt Disney: as quoted in Pat Williams: “How to Be Like Walt: Capturing the Magic Every Day of Your Life” (2004), Chapter 3, ‘Imagination Unlimited,’ page 63

“Always chase your dreams instead of running from your fears.” -Author Unknown

“There is nothing like a dream to create the future.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

This is MFOL! . . . where our fondest Hopes and Dreams are that you will visit us often . . . as you make your way toward all the good that life has in store for you . . .

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Extraterrestrials and UFO’s

6/23/2019

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“We come in peace.” -Unidentified Extraterrestrial Being

“Innumerable suns exist; innumerable earths revolve around these suns in a manner similar to the way the seven planets revolve around our sun. Living beings inhabit these worlds.” -Giordano Bruno (1548 - 1600): “On the Infinite Universe and Worlds” (1584)

“Take me to your leader.” -Unidentified Extraterrestrial Being

Eddy: What did the metric alien say?
Freddy: “Take me to your liter.”

Scientists have yet to discover a sign of extraterrestrial life, but the discovery of planets outside of our solar system, having what is believed to be life-sustaining matter and supposedly habitable climates, is claimed to be a promising possible indication of life outside Earth.

It Came from Outer Space

There was a Martian named Zed
With antennae all over his head.
He sent out a lot
Of di-di-dash-dot,
But nobody knows what he said.

by John Ciardi (John Anthony Ciardi (1916 - 1986))

“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.” -Bill Watterson (Bill Waterson II (born 1958))

Bernice: What are the slowest space monsters?
Bernard: Snailiens!

Extra = beyond. Terrestrial = Earth. Extraterrestrial = beyond Earth.

Overheard: Are you from outer space . . . or just from out of town?

“Personally, I don’t think there’s intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?” -Bob Monkhouse (Robert Alan ‘Bob’ Monkhouse (1928 - 2003))

Otis: Where do alien fish swim?
Otto: In the Galax Sea. (galaxy)

Two outer space aliens stopped to look at a parking meter. One of them picked up a quarter from the ground, and after a little trial and error, inserted the quarter into the meter. When she saw the needle on the dial move, she said to her companion, “How about that? I weigh an hour.”

Hans: What did the space alien cook for breakfast?
Hansel: An Unidentified Frying Object (UFO).

Curiously, now that so many people have cell phones with built-in cameras, claims of Unidentified Flying Objects sightings have dropped to nearly zero. You would think that just the opposite would be the case if UFO’s were real.

The Alien

The alien
     Was as round as the moon.
Five legs he had
     And his ears played a tune.
His hair was pink
     And his knees were green,
He was the funniest thing I’d seen
     As he danced in the door
Of his strange spacecraft,
     He looked at me -
And laughed and laughed!

by Julie Holder

Spaceship landmark in Mars, Pennsylvania, United States of America . . . oddly, the aliens were nowhere to be found.

Pam: Have you ever noticed that space aliens have no noses?
Sam: Really? How do they smell?
Pam: Terrible!

“I think that it is much more likely that the reports of flying saucers are the results of the known irrational characteristics of terrestrial intelligence than of the unknown rational efforts of extra-terrestrial intelligence.” -Richard Feynman (Richard Phillips Feynman (1918 - 1988))

Ella: If you run into a three-headed alien, what should you say?
Ellie: “Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye!”

Autogeddon

If an alien were to hover a few
     Hundred yards above the planet
It could be forgiven for thinking
     That cars were the dominant life form,
And that human beings were a kind of
     Ambulatory fuel cell:
Injected when the car wished to move off,
     And ejected when they were spent.

by Heathcote Williams (1988)

If the United States government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on 16 July 1969, make it illegal for American citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

“Klaatu barada nikto!” -Author Unknown: “The Day the Earth Stood Still,” line of fictional character Helen Benson (portrayed by actor Patricia Neal)

“Sometimes I think we’re alone in the Universe, and sometimes I think we’re not. In either case the idea is quite staggering.” -Arthur C. Clarke (Arthur Charles Clarke (1917 - 2008))

Greta: What kind of music do aliens listen to in their spaceships?
Gretchen: Neptunes!

The shocking truth: Extraterrestrials and their spacecraft, commonly called UFO’s, possibly have never visited Earth and may not even exist. The entire space aliens and alien spacecraft idea was a propaganda campaign created by the government of the United States of America around the end of World War 2, and continued over the next several years. It was an attempt to gain a psychological edge over the former Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (U.S.S.R.) as both sides raced to reach supremacy in the military technological advancements of the Cold War Era. The technologies that now allow us to have cell phones, computers, and other comparatively recent and stunning advances, are not reverse-engineered from alien technologies, but have been created entirely by our fellow human beings.

“There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.” -Author Unknown

The image shown above is how a United States Air Force Lenticular Reentry Vehicle might have looked. Some information on the experimental flying disk program was declassified in 1997, but none of the original aircraft are known to still exist. The flying disks had problems with flight stability and suffered from a high crash rate, so the government ultimately chose to go with more reliable conventional fixed-wing aircraft designs similar to what are in use today. However, the LRV’s were real aircraft, conceptually designed to operate as re-entry vehicles in near-space and at high-altitude, for reconnaissance (spying) and deploying special (nuclear) weapons. Casual observers who spotted these craft in the sky above them decades ago might have imagined they were seeing flying saucers from outer space that were filled with space aliens.

An alien spaceship was running low on fuel, so it landed at a gas station in the middle of the desert near area 51. On one side were printed the letters ‘UFO.’ The station attendant was completely stunned as he came out to see what was going on. Pointing to the side of the craft, he asked, “I’ll bet that stands for ‘Unidentified Flying Object,’ right?” “Nope,” said one of the aliens. “It stands for ‘Unleaded Fuel Only’.”

Experimental aircraft and other seemingly odd things can be seen in the sky from time to time. What does it mean? Inventors, governments, and other folks are simply going about their usual activities, which includes trying out new ideas.

First Space Alien: Is there somewhere around here where I can wash up?
Second Space Alien: Sure, just keep going straight ahead until you come to the meteor showers.

While the fantasy that beings or entities from other places in the Universe would build spaceships and fly them all the way to Earth might be momentarily fascinating, it might not be the best long-term idea to have as one’s life focus. Planting orchards, teaching Sunday school, learning and using good manners, building furniture, raising children, or any of an endless number of other activities, all can yield greater rewards and a richer life than obsessing over the remote possibility of the existence of extraterrestrials and UFO’s. Use your imagination to help you create real things and real results; do not allow your imagination or fantasies to become your entire life. The risk of living in imagination or becoming wrapped up in fantasy is that a person can come to his or her senses at the end of a lifetime to find out he or she never had anything that was real.

Elsa: What did the alien say when he walked into his spaceship?
Elsie: “Ouch!”

You can still watch and enjoy movies about pretend space aliens and pretend people. Have fun in life, but do not lose your focus on the real world, in which you live every moment.

Cosmo: On what kind of plates do space aliens serve their food?
Astoria: Flying saucers!

So, just what is the truth about extraterrestrials and UFO’s? Our conclusion is that alien spacecraft and space aliens have never visited Earth, given the lack of any real evidence, but every person is free to believe as he or she chooses.

“What is the name of your spaceship?” we asked. “We call it our ‘Imagination,’” the alien said.

Now let’s have further harmless fun . . . on MFOL!

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Adversities and Persevering

6/21/2019

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When you think your life is bad, just remember this furry fellow, who lives in a trash can. Of course, your expectations in life may be a little different than his . . .

“If you are ever in real trouble, don’t panic. Sit down and think about it. Remember two things, always. There must be some way out of it, and there must be humor in it somewhere.” -Louise Fitzhugh (1928 - 1974)

“Our way is not soft grass, it’s a mountain path with lots of rocks. But it goes upwards, forward, toward the Sun.” -Ruth Westheimer (born 1928)

“Life can be wildly tragic at times, and I’ve had my share. But whatever happens to you, you have to keep a slightly comic attitude. In the final analysis, you have got not to forget to laugh.” -Katharine Hepburn (Katharine Houghton Hepburn (1907 - 2003))

“Some falls are means the happier to arise.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Cymbeline, King of Britain” (1609), Act IV, scene 2, line 2822; words of character Caius Lucius, general of the Roman forces

“I truly believe that we can overcome any hurdle that lies before us and create the life we want to live. I have seen it happen time and time again.” -Gillian Anderson (Gillian Leigh Anderson (born 1968))

“The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.” -Author Unknown

“It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness.” [English translation]
“Confragosa in fastigium dignitatis via est.” [original Latin]
-Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65)): letter to Lucilius

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” -Frank Leahy (1908 - 1973): as quoted in the “Daily Mail” (4 May 1954) of Charleston, West Virginia

“No man lives without jostling and being jostled; in all ways he has to elbow himself through the world, giving and receiving offence.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881): ‘Sir Walter Scott,’ published in the “London and Westminster Review” (12 November 1838)

“If things go wrong, don’t go with them.” -Roger Babson (Roger Ward Babson (1875 - 1967))

“Trouble can always be borne when it is shared.” -Katherine Paterson (born 1932): “The Tale of the Mandarin Ducks” (1 January 1990)

“Determination, patience, and courage are the only things needed to improve any situation.” -Author Unknown

“Remember, if you ever get into a difficult situation, you can always count on your fingers and toes!” -Author Unknown

“No life is so hard that you can’t make it easier by the way you take it.” -Ellen Glasgow (1873 - 1945)

“By perseverance the snail reached the ark.” -Charles Spurgeon (Charles Haddon Spurgeon (1834 - 1892)): “The Salt-cellars: Being a Collection of Proverbs, Together with Homely Notes Thereon” (1889), ‘Proverbs,’ page 89

“Greatness is best measured by how well an individual responds to the happenings in life that appear to be totally unfair, unreasonable, and undeserved.” -Marvin J. Ashton (Marvin Jeremy Ashton (1915 - 1994)): as quoted in “Ensign” (November 1984), page 22

“I am an old man and have known many troubles. But most of them never happened.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“Turn your stumbling blocks into stepping stones.” -Author Unknown: English proverb

“There is no education like adversity.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“Trying times are no time to quit trying.” -Author Unknown

“Adversity causes some to break, others to break records.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887)

“If people speak ill of you, live so that no one will believe them.” -Plato (about 427 B.C.E. - about 347 B.C.E.)

“People need trouble - a little frustration to sharpen the spirit on, toughen it. Artists do; I don’t mean you need to live in a rat hole or gutter, but you have to learn fortitude, endurance. Only vegetables are happy.” -William Faulkner (William Cuthbert ‘Will’ Faulkner (1897 - 1962))

“Adversity in immunological doses has its uses; more than that crushes.” -John Updike (John Hoyer Updike (1932 - 2009))

“If you don’t climb the mountain, you can’t see the view.” -Author Unknown

“There are no hopeless situations; there are only men who have grown helpless about them.” -Clare Boothe Luce (1903 - 1987)

“No matter how far you have gone on a wrong road, turn back.” -Author Unknown: Turkish proverb

“The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can man be perfected without trials.” -Confucius (K’ung Fu-tzu or K’ung Ch’iu (about 551 B.C.E. - about 479 B.C.E.))

“The burden becomes light which is cheerfully borne.” -Publius Ovidius Naso (also known as Ovid (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18.))

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” -Bernice Johnson Reagon (born 1942)

“Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I’ll show you someone who has overcome adversity.” -Lou Holtz (Louis Leo ‘Lou’ Holtz (born 1937))

“If you would not have affliction visit you twice, listen at once to what it teaches.” -James Burgh (1714 - 1775): “The Dignity of Human Nature” (1754)

“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.” -Peter Marshall (1902 - 1949)

Square your shoulders to the world,
Be not the kind to quit -
It’s not the load that weighs you down,
But the way you carry it.
-Author Unknown

“Every adversity can make you bitter or better.” -Mary Kay Mueller (born 1953)

“Life begins to become truly livable once we have learned how to get back up after we stumble and fall. The mastery of that knowledge may come about only following many falls but it finally comes to us and softens the pain and humiliation on each occasion that we stumble after that, and so we are able to face life with some courage because of what we have learned after falling. Everything eventually becomes easier with time and experience.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.” -B. C. Forbes (Robert Charles ‘Bertie’ Forbes (1880 - 1954)): as quoted in “Forbes” (1958)

“Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Even if I lost everything, I would still have God, and that is enough to start over.” -Author Unknown

“Sir, what is the secret of your success?” a reporter asked a bank president. “Two words.” “And, sir, what are they?” “Right decisions.” “And how do you make right decisions?” “One word.” “And, sir, what is that?” “Experience.” “And how do you get experience?” “Two words.” “And, sir, what are they?” “Wrong decisions.”

“If you’re going through Hell, keep going.” -Winston Churchill (Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill (1874 - 1965))

“A great part of the happiness of life consists not in fighting battles, but in avoiding them. A masterly retreat is in itself a victory.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

“For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Proverbs,’ chapter 24, verse 16

“The brook would lose its song if you removed the rocks.” -Author Unknown

“Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than it was before.” -James Buckham (1858 - 1908)

“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940))

“If you get up one more time than you fall, you will make it through.” -Author Unknown

“Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.” -Shari R. Barr

“Search for the seed of good in every adversity. Master that principle and you will own a precious shield that will guard you well through all the darkest valleys you must traverse. Stars may be seen from the bottom of a deep well, when they cannot be discerned from the mountaintop. So will you learn things in adversity that you would never have discovered without trouble. There is always a seed of good. Find it and prosper.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“Never despair. But if you do, work on in despair.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797): as attributed in “The Christian Pioneer” (1878), volume 32

“Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant.” -Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)): “Satires”

“I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.” -Author Unknown

“The mind which does not wholly sink under misfortune rises above it more lofty than before, and is strengthened by affliction.” -Richard Chenevix Trench (known as Richard Trench until 1873 (1807 - 1886)): “An Essay Upon National Character” (1832), book I, part II, chapter III

“Life knocks a man down and he gits up and it knocks him down again . . . What’s he to do when he gits knocked down? Why, take it for his share and go on.” -Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

“You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering.” -Henri Frédéric Amiel (1821 - 1881)

“The rewards for those who persevere far exceed the pain that precedes the victory.” -Karen Bliss Livingston

“Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.” -William Ellery Channing (1780 - 1842)

“I have never known anyone to achieve anything without overcoming adversity.” -Lou Holtz (Louis Leo ‘Lou’ Holtz (born 1937))

“Life has its peaks and its valleys.” -Author Unknown

“Never let life’s hardships disturb you . . . no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages.” -Nichiren Daishonen (1222 - 1282)

“Defeat is nothing but the first steps to something better.” -Author Unknown

“One of the most difficult things everyone has to learn is that for your entire life you must keep fighting and adjusting if you hope to survive. No matter who you are or what your position is you must keep fighting for whatever it is you desire to achieve.” -George H. Allen (George Herbert Allen, Senior (1918 - 1990))

“Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.” -Christian D. Larson (Christian Daa Larson (1874 - 1962))

“Those who turn back know only the ordeal, but those who persevere remember the adventure.” -Milo Arnold

“There is no chance, no destiny, no fate that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.” -Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850 - 1919)

“Most of the important things in this world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“Strong men are made by opposition; like kites they go up against the wind.” -Frank Harris (born James Thomas Harris (1855 - 1931)): “Oscar Wilde” (1916), chapter 6, page 59

“He that falls to-day, may be up again to-morrow.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2097

“If there is no struggle there is no progress.” -Frederick Douglass (pseudonym of Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey (1817 - 1895)): personal letter (30 March 1849) to Gerrit Smith

“I admire people who choose to shine even after all the storms they’ve been through.” -Author Unknown

“When you get into a tight place, and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a moment longer, never give up then - for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” -Harriet Beecher Stowe (Harriet Elizabeth Beecher Stowe (1811 - 1896)): “Old Town Folks” (1869), chapter 39: ‘Last Days in Cloudland’

“Life, misfortunes, isolation, abandonment, poverty, are battlefields which have their heroes; obscure heroes, sometimes greater than the illustrious heroes.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap, whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be content to take their own and depart.” -Solon (636 B.C.E. - 558 B.C.E.) (similar quotation attributed to Socrates)

“Fresh activity is the only means of overcoming adversity.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Fight the good fight with all thy might.” -John S. B. Monsell (John Samuel Bewley Monsell (1811 - 1875)): “Fight the Good Fight” (1863) hymn

“However hard the road, however difficult today, tomorrow things will be better.” -Benjamin E. Mays (Benjamin Elijah Mays (1894 - 1984)): as quoted in Dorothy Winbush Riley: “My Soul Looks Back, ’Less I Forget” (1995)

“The work of many of the greatest men, inspired by duty, has been done amidst suffering and trial and difficulty. They have struggled against the tide, and reached the shore exhausted.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“I would never have amounted to anything were it not for adversity. I was forced to come up the hard way.” -James Cash Penney (1875 - 1971)

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” -Dolly Parton (born 1946): as quoted in Bob Phillips: “Phillips’ Book of Great Thoughts” (1993), page 264

Just remember, it’s all going to make for a great story someday . . . now who’s ready to go out into the big wide world and Make Fun Of Life?

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Chuck Norris

6/17/2019

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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night-light, not because he’s afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

There once was a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris.

“If you want to accomplish anything in life, you can’t just sit back and hope it will happen. You’ve got to make it happen.” -Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris has never worn glasses in his life. If he can’t see it, then it doesn’t exist.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you do.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he does not turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Chuck Norris has appeared in a number of action films, such as “Way of the Dragon” in which he starred alongside Bruce Lee, and he was The Cannon Group’s leading star in the 1980s. He acted the starring role in the television series “Walker, Texas Ranger” from 1993 to 2001.

Chuck Norris can eat just one potato chip.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris never has to balance his household budget. One look from Chuck, and it balances itself.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

It is considered a great accomplishment to go over Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

Before the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks inside his closet and under his bed for Chuck Norris.

When somebody yells, “Last one there is a rotten egg!” Chuck Norris is never the rotten egg.

The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of things.

Chuck Norris wakes up his alarm clock.

Carlos Ray ‘Chuck’ Norris was born on 10 March 1940. He became an American Martial Artist and has been 6-times World Black Belt Karate Champion and an actor. After serving in the United States Air Force, he began his rise to fame as a Martial Artist and founded his own Martial Arts school, called Chun Kuk Do. Mr. Norris has appeared in several action films. As a result of his ‘tough guy’ image, an internet phenomenon began in 2005 known as Chuck Norris facts, ascribing various implausible or even impossible feats to Mr. Norris.

Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.

No matter what your mother always said, Chuck Norris can tune a fish.

So you think you can be like Chuck Norris . . . how high can you kick?

When Google has a question, they ‘Norris’ it.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

“People whine, ‘I haven’t succeeded because I haven’t had the breaks.’ You create your own breaks.” -Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don’t ask him for a three-hole-punch.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

“The only time we fail is when we stop trying.” -Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris is ‘The best a man can get.’

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself, to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris once shot down an enemy fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

Once each year, on 24 December, Chuck Norris puts on a red and white suit and rides all around the world in a flying sleigh pulled by magical reindeer . . . so you had better watch out . . . and be good for goodness sake!

Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie-Pop lollipop.

“I’ve always found that anything worth achieving will always have obstacles in the way and you’ve got to have that drive and determination to overcome those obstacles on route to whatever it is that you want to accomplish.” -Chuck Norris

Before sliced bread, people used to say “That’s the greatest thing since Chuck Norris.” But Chuck was displeased by this. So he roundhouse-kicked a loaf of bread into slices.

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris is a devout Christian and a political conservative. He has written several books on Christianity and has supported a number of Republican candidates and causes. Mr. Norris also writes a column for the conservative website WorldNetDaily.

Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his Scholastic Aptitude Tests (SAT), simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.

Chuck Norris once won a game of ‘Connect 4’ in just 3 moves.

Chuck Norris is simultaneously a noun and a verb.

Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is logic.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars - that’s why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris can eat rice using only one chopstick.

Ghosts sit around campfires and tell Chuck Norris stories.

Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants. Chuck Norris felt sorry for Superman because he lost, so he taught him how to fly, and the two have been chums ever since.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

If you feel like people ignore you sometimes, it is probably because you are not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn’t have to cross the road - the other side comes over to him.

Chuck Norris has legitimate credentials in Martial Arts. Some of his past students are probably familiar to you. They include The Osmonds - yes, those Osmonds, Bob Barker, Steve Mcqueen, and Priscilla Presley.

In the rain, Chuck Norris does not need an umbrella. The raindrops avoid him.

Chuck Norris once had a boomerang. It was way too scared to come back.

Become a better you! Chuck Norris wants you to get in shape and lose weight and become more confidant, all through an intense, dedicated program of Martial Arts, which is the training of both mind and body.

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn’t deceased, it is just afraid to move.

The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

“A lot of people give up just before they’re about to make it. You know, you never know when that next obstacle is going to be the last one.” -Chuck Norris

If at first you don’t succeed, you are not Chuck Norris.

Vera: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Harvey: Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is 1.78 meters (5 feet, 10 inches) tall, which is the average height for men in the developed world. In all other ways, he is above average and, from what we have heard, better than you.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

They found Chuck Norris’ diary. It is now known as the “Guinness Book of World Records.”

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.

Arnold: Who would win in a fight between King Kong and Godzilla?
Rocky: Neither, Chuck Norris never lets his pets fight.

Chuck Norris can read minds but he does not do so because he doesn’t care what you think.

Chuck Norris uses a stunt double when making movies - for crying scenes.

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

When giving a warning, Chuck Norris never has to count higher than 1.

Chuck Norris does not have an ESC key on his computer, because there is no escape from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can believe it is butter.

If you can spell Chuck Norris in a game of Scrabble, you win . . . forever.

Chuck Norris doesn’t call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

“A lot of times people look at the negative side of what they feel they can’t do. I always look on the positive side of what I can do.” -Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can bake a cake in a freezer.

Chuck Norris destroyed the Periodic Table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

The Chuck Norris Website is www.ChuckNorris.com. When you visit, see if he still sells Chuck Norris Action Jeans for the Martial Artist, which will allow you to do high kicks and other fancy moves without cramping your style.

The only thing Chuck Norris says in a job interview is, “Hi. I’m Chuck Norris and I start tomorrow. Any questions?”

When there’s a meteor shower, Chuck Norris grabs a bar of soap.

When asked how many pushups he can do, Chuck Norris responded, “All of them.”

This is MFOL! and we cannot say anything more at this time because we’re too busy running from Chuck Norris!

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Differences and Individuality

6/13/2019

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Birds of a feather flock together . . . and then there are the birds of a different feather. Shown is Major Mitchell’s Pink Cockatoo, a native of Australia, perhaps as different as different can be - and, like yourself, not like all the others . . .

“You laugh at me because I’m different; I laugh at you because you’re all the same.” -Jonathan Davis

“We do not expect everyone to be exactly alike, and if we feel a cat should be like a dog, we are missing something important.” -Gladys Taber (Gladys Bagg Taber (1899 - 1980))

“Every human being is intended to have a character of his own; to be what no other is, and to do what no other can do.” -William Ellery Channing (1780 - 1842)

“I’m different. Always have been. It took a while but I have accepted that I am a magic not meant for everyone to understand, so they question. That’s okay. I will stay in my lane being all magical and stuff.” -Author Unknown

“There are just two kinds of people in the world: you, and everyone else.” -Author Unknown

“An unlearned carpenter of my acquaintance once said in my hearing: ‘There is very little difference between one man and another; but what little there is, is very important.’” -William James (1842 - 1910): “The Will to Believe and Other Essays in Popular Philosophy” (1897), ‘The Importance of Individuals’

Overheard: There are two types of people: those who are forgetful and . . . uh . . .

“My father (Danny Thomas) used to tell me there are two kinds of people, the takers and the givers. ‘The takers sometimes eat better,’ he would say, ‘but the givers always sleep better.’” -Marlo Thomas (born 1937)

“All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move.” -attributed to Ben Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790))

“Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to continually be part of unanimity.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))

“There are three types of people the world does not understand: madmen, geniuses, and people who mumble.” -Author Unknown

“Different men seek after happiness in different ways and by different means, and so make for themselves different modes of life and forms of government.” -Aristotle (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.)

“People can be divided into three groups. Those who make things happen. Those who watch things happen. And those who wonder what happened.” -Nicholas Murray Butler (1852 - 1947)

“There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who cannot.” -Author Unknown

“Some people work up steam and some only generate a fog.” -Author Unknown

“There may be said to be two classes of people in the world: those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes, and those who do not.” -Robert Benchley (Robert Charles Benchley (1889 - 1945))

“There are three kinds of people in the world. There are wolves and there are sheep - and then there are those who protect the sheep from the wolves.” -Christopher Shields

“In the not-so-long-ago-days, there were only four kinds of people: menfolk, womenfolk, youngfolk, and oldfolk. These days, they’ve divided us up into a near-infinite number of classifications, not to help us or to make the world a better place, but to manipulate us into being and doing what folks may not necessarily want to be and do.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“In life we shall find many men that are great, and some that are good, but very few men that are both great and good.” -C. C. Colton (Charles Caleb Colton (1780 - 1832))

Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.
-Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor ‘Eleanor’ Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“I don’t divide the world into the weak and the strong, or the successes and the failures, those who make it or those who don’t. I divide the world into learners and non-learners.” -Benjamin Barber

“Youth looks ahead, old age looks back, and middle age looks tired.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: As different as two peas in a pod . . .

“There are two kinds of people one can call reasonable: those who serve God with all their heart because they know him, and those who seek him with all their heart because they do not know him.” -Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

“A boss creates fear, a leader confidence. A boss fixes blame, a leader corrects mistakes. A boss knows all, a leader asks questions. A boss makes work drudgery, a leader makes it interesting. A boss is interested in himself or herself, a leader is interested in the group.” -Russell H. Ewing

“I’d rather be a climbing ape than a falling angel.” -Terry Pratchett (1948 - 2015)

There are at least two sorts of people who work in complex organizations like governments, businesses, and schools. There are those who, when a problem reaches them, contribute to its solution; and there are those who, when a problem comes to them, escalate it into something worse. A man of the latter type was called into the chief executive’s office and told, “Mikhail, don’t be an embolus.” “A what?” Mikhail asked. “A kind of blood clot - something that circulates through the system causing trouble.”

“Many are destined to reason wrongly; others, not to reason at all, and others to persecute those who reason.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“You be you and I’ll be me.” -Billy Connolly

Somebody once said that there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good morning, Lord,” and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good Lord, it’s morning!”

“Often the people who are different are the ones who make all the difference in this world.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit. Try, if you can, to belong to the first class. There’s far less competition.” -Dwight Morrow (Dwight Whitney Morrow (1873 - 1931)): in a letter to his son, as quoted in Harold Nicolson: “Dwight Morrow” (1935), page 52

“Cherish forever what makes you unique, ’cuz you’re really a yawn if it goes.” -Bette Midler (born 1945)

Unique

Always remember that you’re unique
     Unequalled, uncommon, c’est magnifique
One of a kind, quite special and rare
     Singular, original, not one of a pair
Special, the exceptional you embody
     You’re really unique, just like everybody!

by Author Unknown

“Know that although in the eternal scheme of things you are small, you are also unique and irreplaceable, as are all your fellow humans everywhere in the world.” -Margaret Laurence

“By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before.” -Edwin Elliot

It is possible to be different . . . and yet also, remarkably similar . . .

Variety’s the very spice of life,
That gives it all its flavor.
-William Cowper (1731 - 1800)

“Everybody is unique. Compare not yourself with anybody else lest you spoil God’s curriculum.” -Israel ben Eliezer

“There are three kinds of people in the world, the wills, the won’ts, and the can’ts. The first accomplish everything; the second oppose everything; the third fail in everything.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “Eclectic Magazine”

“Some people bear three kinds of trouble - the ones they’ve had, the ones they have, and the ones they expect to have.” -H. G. Wells (Herbert George Wells (1866 - 1946))

“Appreciate your uniqueness. Never in history has there been anyone exactly like you. Being one of a kind, you must be the best you can possibly be; develop your talents to the fullest. You can do anything you wish to do; the only limitation is your will. Make the most of the one and only you.” -Bob Keeshan (Robert James ‘Bob’ Keeshan (1927 - 2004))

“Each of us must dance to his own tune.” -Author Unknown: “M*A*S*H” television series; line spoken by character Charles Emerson Winchester III

“Beaten paths are for beaten men.” -Eric Johnston

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” -Rudyard Kipling (1865 - 1936)

“There are two types of people, those who extrapolate from incomplete data sets.” -Author Unknown

“Dare to be yourself.” -André Gide (1869 - 1951)

“Today, there are three kinds of people: the have’s, the have-not’s, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-have’s.” -Earl Wilson

“A fruit salad is delicious precisely because each fruit maintains its own flavor.” -Sean Covey

“There are two kinds of men who never amount to very much: Those who cannot do what they are told, and those who can do nothing else.” -Cyrus H. K. Curtis (Cyrus Hermann Kotzschmar Curtis (1850 - 1933))

“You are unrepeatable. There is a magic about you that is all your own.” -D. M. Dellinger

“Let’s acknowledge our differences and not deny them; appreciate them and value them; and each of us with our own uniqueness can contribute where we are needed. There is no need to go to war with each other upon the insistence that only one way of being or of doing is right.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you’re born to stand out?” -Oliver James

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in square holes . . . the ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules . . . you can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them, because they change things . . . they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” -Steve Jobs (1955 - 2011)

“There is only one you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself.” -Anthony Rapp

“At bottom every man knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this Earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“People can be divided into two classes: those who go ahead and do something, and those who sit still and inquire, ‘Why wasn’t it done the other way?’” -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Junior (1841 - 1935)

“Differences were meant not to divide but to enrich.” -J. H. Oldham

“Whatever else you may be sure of, be sure of this: that you are dreadfully like other people.” -James Russell Lowell (1819 - 1891): “My Study Windows” (1871)

“People are eternally divided into two classes: the believer, builder, and praiser; and the unbeliever, destroyer, and critic.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“There are ten kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary math, and those who do not.” -Author Unknown

“Cultivate your own capabilities, your own style. Appreciate the members of your family for who they are, even though their outlook or style may be miles different from yours. Rabbits don’t fly. Eagles don’t swim. Ducks look funny trying to climb. Squirrels don’t have feathers. Stop comparing. There’s plenty of room in the forest.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

“When we lose the right to be different, we lose the privilege to be free.” -Charles Evans Hughes (1862 - 1948): in an address at Faneuil Hall, Boston, Massachusetts, United States of America (17 June 1925)

“People are much more alike inside than they are on the surface.” -Verne Burnett

“How glorious it is - and also how painful - to be an exception.” -Alfred de Musset (1810 - 1857): “Histoire d’un merle blanc” (“Story of the White Blackbird”) (1842)

“Don’t be like the rest of them, darling.” -Author Unknown

“There are two types of people - those who come into a room and say, ‘Well, here I am!’ and those who come in and say, ‘Ah, there you are.’” -Frederick L. Collins

“Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated, thus, everyone’s task is unique as his specific opportunity to implement it.” -Viktor E. Frankl (1905 - 1997)

“It takes all kinds of people to make a world.” -Author Unknown

“Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.” -Tallulah Bankhead (1903 - 1968)

“You’re an original, an individual, a masterpiece. Celebrate that; don’t let your uniqueness make you shy. Don’t be someone other than the wonder you are. Every star is important to the sky.” -Douglas Pagels (born 1950)

“Allow the world to live as it chooses, and allow yourself to live as you choose.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“When you’re different, sometimes you don’t see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn’t.” -Jodi Picoult (Jodi Lynn Picoult (born 1966))

“Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself to others. It is because we are different that each of us is special. Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important, only know what is best for you.” -Ken Lewis

“People have one thing in common: They are all different.” -Robert Zend (1929 - 1985)

“All of us are stars and deserve the right to twinkle.” -Marilyn Monroe (Norma Jean Mortenson (1926 - 1962))

Make Fun Of Life! . . . because we are all a little bit funny . . . sometimes . . . if not all the time . . .

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