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 “Dream big, work hard, stay focused, and surround yourself with good people.” -Author Unknown
“Be excellent to each other!” -Author Unknown: “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” (1989) movie “Pursue worthy aims.” -Solon (636 B.C.E. - 558 B.C.E.) Be kind, but don’t let people abuse you. Trust, but don’t be deceived. Be content, but never stop improving yourself. -Author Unknown “Don’t ever let anyone dull your sparkle.” -Author Unknown “If you would know the road ahead, ask someone who has traveled it.” -Author Unknown “Life is too important to be taken seriously.” -Author Unknown “Keep five yards from a carriage, ten yards from a horse, and a hundred yards from an elephant. But the distance one should keep from a wicked man cannot be measured.” -Author Unknown: Indian proverb “Be good to yourself so that you can above all be good to others.” -Jessi Lane Adams (pseudonym of Terri Guillemets (born 1973)) “Three things it is best to avoid: a strange dog, a flood, and a man who thinks he is wise.” -Author Unknown: Welsh proverb “What cannot be helped must be endured.” -Author Unknown: “Rob Roy” (7 April 1995) movie; words spoken by fictional character Mary MacGregor The Way Cocks crow in the morn To tell us to rise, And he who lies late Will never be wise. For early to bed And early to rise Is the way to be healthy, And wealthy, and wise. by Author Unknown “Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.” -Author Unknown “In many cases the person who gives advice hasn’t tried it himself and wishes to see it tested to see if it really works.” -Author Unknown Wisdom: Common sense in an uncommon degree. “Whoever said sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.” -Author Unknown “Keep trying. Stay humble. Trust your instincts. Most importantly, act. When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” -Yogi Berra (Lawrence Peter ‘Yogi’ Berra (1925 - 2015)) “You must get good at one of two things: planting in the Spring or begging in the Fall.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009)) “I give myself, sometimes, admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it.” -Mary Wortley Montagu (1689 - 1762) “Spend time with those you love, because one of these days you will say either, ‘I wish I had,’ or, ‘I’m glad I did.’” -Author Unknown “How you spend your time is more important than how you spend your money. Money mistakes can be corrected, but misspent time is gone forever.” -Author Unknown “Whatever advice you give, be brief.” -Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)) “If you want a thing well done, do it yourself.” -Charles Haddon Spurgeon “The words you speak today should be soft and tender . . . for tomorrow you may have to eat them.” -Author Unknown “Wise people carry their possessions within them.” -Author Unknown “It is traditional on these occasions for me to give you a bit of advice, which you will equally traditionally ignore.” -Prince Philip (Philip Mountbatten (born 1921)) “Don’t ever slam a door; you might want to go back.” -Author Unknown “He who seeks wisdom is a wise man; he who thinks he has found it is mad.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (4 B.C.E. - C.E. 65)) “We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)) “A mountain shames a molehill until both are humbled by the stars.” -Author Unknown: proverb “One day you’ll just be a memory to some people. Do your best to be a good one.” -Author Unknown “Few persons have good enough sight to see their own faults.” -Author Unknown “It’s possible to own too much. A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never quite sure.” -Lee Segall “Don’t trust advice from a person who’s in trouble.” -Author Unknown Accept a proverb out of Wisdom’s schools - “Barbers first learn to shave by shaving fools.” -John Wolcot (1738 - 1819): “Works” (1792) “To be conscious of your ignorance is a great step to knowledge.” -Author Unknown “Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold - but so does a hard-boiled egg.” -Author Unknown “A wise word is not a substitute for a piece of herring.” -Sholom Aleichem (pseudonym of Solomon Naumovich Rabinovich (1859 - 1916)) “Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction.” -Author Unknown “The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on; it is never of any use to oneself.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900)) “Remember, it’s not the fall that hurts you; it’s the stop at the end.” -Author Unknown “My parents told me, ‘Finish your dinner. People in China and India are starving.’ I tell my daughters, ‘Finish your homework. People in India and China are starving for your job.’” -Thomas Friedman “Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.” -Barry LePatner (Barry Bruce LePatner (born 1947)) “If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.” -Author Unknown Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone. Don’t worry about the future, it hasn’t arrived. Live in the present, and make it beautiful. -Author Unknown “Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child.” -Ron Wild “The first step toward madness is to think oneself wise.” -Fernando de Rojas Enjoy yourself, It’s later than you think. -Herb Magidson (1906 - 1986): “Enjoy Yourself” (1950) song “Work hard, dress well, and be nice to people.” -Author Unknown “Wise sayings often fall on barren ground; but a kind word is never thrown away.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875) The road to wisdom? Well it’s plain and simple to express: Err and err and err again but less and less and less. -Piet Hein (1905 - 1996) “No man is wise enough by himself.” -Plautus (Titus Maccius Plautus (254 B.C.E. - 184 B.C.E.)) “It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.” -Sam Levenson (1911 - 1980) “Rise with the Sun and go to bed with the chickens.” -Author Unknown “Many receive advice; only the wise profit from it.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.) “If I could only give three words of advice, they would be, ‘Tell the truth.’ If I got three more words, I’d add, ‘All the time.’” -Randy Pausch (Randolph Frederick ‘Randy’ Pausch (1960 - 2008)) “It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.” -Aeschylus (525 B.C.E. - 456 B.C.E.) “You will always find some Eskimos ready to instruct the Congolese on how to cope with heat waves.” -Stanislaw Jerzy Lec (1909 - 1966): “Unkempt Thoughts” (1957) “Be wise to-day; ’tis madness to defer.” -Edward Young (1683 - 1765): “Night Thoughts,” ‘Night’ Part 1, line 390 “The surest sign of wisdom is constant cheerfulness.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)) “Don’t throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.” -Author Unknown: Swedish proverb “Colors fade, temples crumble, empires fall, but wise words endure.” -Edward Thorndike (Edward Lee Thorndike (1874 - 1949)) “Be such a man, and live such a life, that if every man were such as you, and every life a life like yours, this Earth would be God’s Paradise.” -Phillips Brooks (1835 - 1893) “The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right. That has been my secret, and I have never had any quarrels.” -Hannah Whitall Smith (1832 - 1911): as quoted in Logan Pearsall Smith, editor: “Philadelphia Quaker: The Letters of Hannah Whitall Smith” (1950), page 146 “Who lives without folly is not so wise as he thinks.” -François de La Rochefoucauld (also known as François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)). “Charity gives itself rich; greed hoards itself poor.” -Author Unknown: German proverb “We all admire the wisdom of people who come to us for advice.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875) “Speak your mind but ride a fast horse.” -Author Unknown “If a man loves to give advice, it is a sure sign that he himself wants it.” -George Savile (also known as Lord Halifax (1633 - 1695)) “If I wanted to become a tramp, I would seek information and advice from the most successful tramp I could find. If I wanted to become a failure, I would seek advice from men who have never succeeded. If I wanted to succeed in all things, I would look around me for those who are succeeding, and do as they have done.” -Joseph Marshall Wade (1832 - 1905) “No man was ever wise by chance.” [English translation] “Nulli sapere casu obtigit.” [original Latin] -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (4 B.C.E. - C.E. 65)) “Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.” -Tobias Smollett (Tobias George Smollett (1721 - 1771)) “Wisdom is the sunlight of the soul.” -Author Unknown “It’s a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.” -Author Unknown “Perhaps no one needs advice more than those who offer unsought advice.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn’t know what to do or that he can’t do it on his own.” -John Gray (born 1951) “Wisdom is to live in the present, plan for the future, and profit from the past.” -Author Unknown Good Advice Don’t shirk Your work For the sake Of a dream; A fish In the dish Is worth ten In the stream. by Author Unknown “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” -Robert Brault (born 1938) “Never take the advice of someone who has not had your kind of trouble.” -Sydney J. Harris (Sydney Justin Harris (1917 - 1986)) “Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind.” -Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834) “As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.” -Andrew Carnegie (1835 - 1919) Keep your eye on the ball. Keep your shoulder to the wheel. Keep your nose to the grindstone. Now try to work in that position. -Author Unknown “Enjoy yourself. These are the good old days you’re going to miss in the years ahead.” -Author Unknown “The wisest man is he who does not fancy that he is so at all.” -Nicolas Boileau-Despréaux (1636 - 1711) “The mintage of wisdom is to know that rest is rust, and that real life is in love, laughter, and work.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)) “Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.” -Author Unknown “Whatever you are, try to be a good one.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1853): as quoted in Laurence Hutton: “A Boy I Knew and Four Dogs” (1898) autobiography This is MFOL! . . . encouraging you to get out, be active, meet people, sing, dance, and talk up a storm with thunder in your voice . . .  I fill my mind with positive thoughts that create positive outcomes. What are affirmations? Affirmations are expressions that can transform your life by influencing the way you think about yourself, others, and the world around you. When you change how you think, you change how you speak and how you act, and the results can be immensely rewarding. Today, I will concentrate on taking one step forward, however small it might be. Today I will be the best me that I know how to be. Following is the ‘formula’ first used at the clinic of psychologist Émile Coué in Nancy, France. What he called his ‘formula’ was an affirmation, which he prescribed to his patients, to be repeated by them 15 to 20 times in the morning and again in the evening of each day: “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” -Émile Coué (Émile Coué de la Châtaigneraie (1857 - 1926)): “How to Practice Suggestion and Autosuggestion” (1923) A limerick may provide further insight: On Monsieur Coué This very remarkable man Commends a most practical plan: You can do what you want If you don’t think you can’t, So don’t think you can’t - think you can. by Charles Cuthbert Inge (1868 - 1957): “The Week-end Book” (1928), page 217 I am intelligent and capable of success in any endeavor which I may choose. “As long as you know what it is you desire, then by simply affirming that it is yours - firmly and positively, with no ifs, buts, or maybes - over and over again, from the minute you arise in the morning until the time you go to sleep at night, and as many times during the day as your work or activities permit, you will be drawn to those people, places, and events that will bring your desires to you.” -Scott Reed I have confidence. New opportunities are calling to me and I am ready to answer the call. You can create your own affirmations, or select affirmations from those found in this topic that you believe best apply to you and your particular circumstances. Write your affirmations on a piece of paper, and place it where you will be sure to read it daily, as for example, on your car dashboard, on your refrigerator door, or on your bedroom mirror. You could also type affirmations into your cell phone or other device. If you keep a diary or journal, consider challenging yourself to write a new affirmation in it for each day. What I have done before I can do again, even better. “I am optimistic and confident in all that I do. I affirm only the best for myself and others. I am the creator of my life and my world. I meet daily challenges gracefully and with complete confidence. I fill my mind with positive, nurturing, and healing thoughts.” -Alice Potter I like fresh salads. “It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief, and once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.” -Claude M. Bristol (Claude Myron Bristol (1891 - 1951)): “The Magic of Believing” (1948) I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. “I am - the two most powerful words in the world, for whatever we put after them becomes our reality.” -Susan Howson I am worthy of the respect, attention, and love that I receive from others.  “Affirmations are a form of thought training - training yourself how to think, just as running every day conditions an athlete to compete in a footrace, or studying every day prepares a student for a test.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) I see the best in myself and others. I have confidence to try new things. “You are what you think about all day long.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015)) I feel good about myself. I am good enough. “Change your thoughts and you change your world.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993) I am stronger than everything that happened in the past. I am stronger than my present circumstances. I am strong today and will be even stronger tomorrow. I appreciate and acknowledge the participation and contributions of others. I love who I am and what I do. “Talk to yourself positively all the time. Keep repeating, ‘I can do it! I can do it!’ until your fears disappear.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944) I can face my fears and work to overcome them. “I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993) I focus on what I can do right now. “What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950) “I’m not here to be average, I’m here to be awesome!” -Author Unknown The ghosts of my past can no longer haunt me. I enjoy saving money and investing money. “I really like who I am.” -Geordi Laforge, character played by actor LeVar Burton in “Star Trek,” ‘Loud as a Whisper’ (9 January 1989) I will remain confident and unaffected by negative attitudes around me. Life is good and getting better. “I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.” -Watty Piper (pseudonym of Arnold H. Munk (1886 - 1957)): “The Little Engine That Could” (1930) I am patient with myself. I begin working on tasks the moment the thought of the tasks occurs to me. “What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” -Otto Rank (1884 - 1939) I can live my life without knowing all of the answers. “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” -attributed to Solomon: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Book of Proverbs,’ chapter 23, verse 7 I feel happiness and joy just from being alive. “If my mind can conceive it and my heart can believe it I know I can achieve it.” -Author Unknown I am able to relax and maintain good form when around strangers or in unfamiliar situations. I can help others without expecting them to give me anything in return. I am at peace with myself and the Universe. “Affirmations provide a way to inoculate against negative thinking.” -Author Unknown I will live as if my dreams are possible, and work each day to make them happen.  I am a good person.
“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” -Brené Brown I feel great when I go on a walk. I am a responsible person. “Every word you speak and every thought you think is an affirmation for your future.” -Cheryl Richardson at http://www.cherylrichardson.com/ I like who I am becoming. I speak with confidence and calm assurance. What is self-talk? Self-talk is simply another term for affirmations. You can choose to say affirmations aloud, or say them silently to yourself, or write them on paper or read them. I keep myself in excellent physical condition. I always have time for my friends. I can learn how to live with pain so that I can get what I want from my life. “The most influential person who will talk to you all day is you, so you should be very careful about what you say to you!” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012)) Today I am planting the seeds of new beginnings. I am a friendly person. “Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989) I am doing pretty good - how can I do better? I seek new adventures. “I am in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (born 1926)) at www.louisehay.com I am in charge of my feelings, and today I am choosing happiness. “My life is my business. I don’t let somebody else run it.” -Author Unknown “Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970)) I am too blessed to be stressed! If we are what we think about, what should we think about? I am divinely guided in all that I do. “Our minds can shape the way a thing will be because we act according to our expectations.” -Federico Fellini (1920 - 1993) I am a good listener. I will imagine the best and focus on that. I am living in the present moment: the here and now. “Say affirmations ‘as if’ they were already a reality.” -Author Unknown I can enjoy leisure without guilt and anxiety. I can handle criticism with ease. Today I view my childhood without shame. I am a friend to myself. I love me. I am ready for a fresh start, a new perspective, and an ‘I can do it’ attitude. At MFOL! our affirmation is, “We are funny today, and we will be even funnier tomorrow!”  When considering career options, do not overlook the possibility of becoming a pirate. To learn more about this potentially lucrative field of work and to find out if a pirate’s life might be right for you, simply continue reading . . . Rich: What are pirates afraid of? Rick: The darrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk! Serendipity: What kind of socks does a pirate wear? Felicity: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgyle! Agatha: What does a fancy pirate add to his dinner? Agnes: A garrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnish! Pirates: No-good people who most assuredly arrive at a no-good end. Real-life pirates are murderous, thieving, low-life criminal scum who steal ships and have historically met their end on the hangman’s noose, and in more recent times have been sent to filthy, overcrowded, rat-infested prisons for the remainder of their miserable days, but we will have some fun at their expense nonetheless. Morris: Where do pirates keep their cookies? Morton: In cookie jarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs! Amelia: How much did the pirate pay for his peg-leg and hook-hand? Emily: An arm and a leg! William the Crook A pirate named William the Crook, Serves his crew with his gigantic hook, “I impale some marshmallows, Toast them up for the fellows, Make some cocoa, and read them a book.” by Author Unknown  Forget about the treasure chests shown in pretend pirate movies - the one shown above is how a real treasure chest would have looked. What, is it not glamorous enough for the likes of you? Well, suit yourself. If by chance you want to see what an authentic pirate chest would have held inside, continue reading and you will soon come to a picture of real pirate loot, shown further below. Clark: Why can you not take a picture of a pirate with a wooden leg? Kent: Because a wooden leg does not take pictures! Tucker: What goes, “99-thump, 99-thump?” Tyler: A pirate centipede with a wooden leg. Most people only ever see fancy ‘made for the movies’ pirates. What could you expect to see from a real pirate? A real pirate would be wearing filthy rags and have the dreaded scurvy, and because we would not want to disgust you by showing you such a person, we won’t! Now let’s all make pirate noises. Rrr! Arrr! Rrr-rrr-rrr! Annette: Where do pirates park their ships? Nettie: In the harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrbor! Merrill: What is a pirate’s second favorite type of transportation? Marla: A carrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Scurvy is a preventable health condition caused by going too long without eating foods containing vitamin C, as some seafarers such as pirates do. The symptoms are too horrible to describe here, so just be sure to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables so that you do not become a scurvy pirate! Byron: What “Star Wars” character is really a pirate? Myron: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-2-D-2! Helga: What is a pirate’s favorite doll? Hilda: Barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrbie! A pirate ship came ashore for a night at a mysterious island between Arabia and India. The first mate ended up in an eatery sitting at a table with an oil lamp on it. The lamp was dirty, so he rubbed it clean, and a genie came out, promising to grant him any three wishes he wanted. Immediately he wished for a huge mug of cold apple cider that would never run dry. “Granted,” said the genie. Excitedly the pirate downed the entire mug, and as promised, it magically refilled itself. He emptied it again, and it again magically refilled, just as he had wished. “This is great!” he said. “And what about your second and third wishes?” asked the genie. The pirate, still delighted about his magic mug, quickly replied, “I’ll have two more just like this!”  This pirate treasure may not be much to look at, but to a real pirate, it is the stuff of dreams. Up until quite recent times, coins were basically lumps of metal such as silver, copper, gold, or alloys (combinations of different metals melted together) that had been hammered flat or made by clumsily pouring molten metal into rough molds. Old coins from the time of pirates and sailing ships often were not perfectly round, not very shiny, and were well-worn down, but were nonetheless valuable. Jeffrey: What did the pirate ship captain keep in his musical treasure chest? Geoffrey: The lute! Pirate from Nertskinski A pirate who hailed from Nertskinski Became so exceedingly thinski That while cleaning his gun, When the day’s fight was done, He looked down the bore and fell inski. by Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)) Pearl: How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced for earrings? Cora: A buccaneer! Cassandra: Where do pirates get their hair cut? Cassie: At the barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrber shop! Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting pirate! Interrup - Arrrrrr! Knock, scratch, knock. Who’s there? Captain Hook. Jack: What is a pirate’s favorite letter? Jake: You would think it is the ‘r’ but it is really the ‘c.’ Pirate ship: A thugboat.  Pirates often did not take pride in their vessels, so what we see here is typical of the sad state of disrepair in which a gang of murderous thieves would have kept a ship. Connie: What clings to the underside of pirate ships and slows them down? Constance: Barrrrrrnacles! For any landlubbers who might be foolhardy enough to want to learn about real pirates, we heartily recommend the book, “Thomas Jefferson and the Tripoli Pirates” (3 November 2015) by Brian Kilmeade and Don Yaeger. You can get it into your grubby paws by making a visit to your local library, or you can exchange some gold doubloons or whatever currency you might have for it at your favorite bookseller. Martin: What is a buccaneer? Mortimer: What pirates pay for corn these days. A man went to the employment office looking for work. He was told that he could have the part of Long John Silver in a new movie version of “Treasure Island.” “That’s marvelous!” said the man. “How much will I be paid?” “Ten thousand dollars a week,” was the reply. “Great!” said the man. “So do I start acting on Monday?” “Oh, no,” said the clerk. “On Monday, you’re having your leg amputated.” Pirate Pete: What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs and two hands? Pirate Paul: Rookie. Toby: When do pirates plant trees? Tobias: On Arrrborrr Day! (For to make their wooden legs, don’t you be a-knowin’!) Swashbuckling: To engage in daring and romantic adventures with ostentatious bravado or flamboyance. Aaarrr, don’t ask us, we really don’t know what that means, either. Erma: Why could the pirate not play cards? Myrna: Because the captain was standing on the deck! Pegleg: Why do pirate ships have Global Positioning System (GPS) devices? Captain Hook: So that pirates always know where they arrr-rrr!  A flag bearing a black field, upon which is displayed a skull and crossbones, is associated with pirate ships . . . but what if real pirates do not give such warnings, instead preferring to make surprise sneak attacks, or raids, upon sleepy coastal towns and unprotected merchant trading ships? Agatha: Why did the pirate take his mother to the movie theater with him? Amanda: Because the movie was rated ‘arrrrrr!’ Creative types think pirates are so great that they are making up new kinds of pirates: pirate princesses, pirate cheerleaders, pirate cats, pirate fairies . . . how much further can this silliness go? Pirate cheerleaders have it easy: “Give me an Rrrrrr!” Astor: Why are pirates called pirates? Reed: They just arrrrrr! Naomi: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Vanessa: Because they spend years at ‘c’! A Pirate of Boulder There was a bold pirate of Boulder Whose cutlass was slung from his shoulder. He’d mighty fine notions Of plundering oceans, But his mom said, “Perhaps when you’re older.” by Graham Lester Dudley: What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Smedley: “Aye, matey!” Milford: What is a pirate’s second career choice? Milton: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrchitect! A common belief about pirates is that they made people walk along a plank until they fell into the sea, where they would be eaten by sharks. This popular notion simply is not true; author James Matthew Barrie made it up for his children’s storybook, “Peter Pan” (1928). Riddle: What has eight arms and eight legs and eight eyes? Solution: Eight pirates! Patrice: What is a pirate’s favorite hobby? Tricia: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt. “I’ll never pet an alligator again,” Captain Hook said offhandedly. Lydia: What is a pirate’s favorite country? Lynette: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgentina! Renée: Where do pirates put their trash? Sheila: In the garrrrrrrrrrrrrrrbage can! Mack: What does a pirate do after saying, “Arrr!” one too many times? Cam: Ask if anybody has a sore throat lozenge. Blake: Why does Captain Hook have trouble telling time? Caleb: His second hand keeps falling off. Sue: What does a vegetarian pirate do? Stu: He starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrves!  Well, shiver me timbers, laddies and lassies, thar’s pirates in them thar waters! Yes, indeed, the pirates aaaaaarrr coming, the pirates aaaaaarrr coming! Quick, we’d better think up some more pirate jokes before they get here so we can entertain them! More fun and learning is coming up next . . . on MFOL!
 Are you striving for success?
Then never think of quitting; Footprints in the sand of time Cannot be made by sitting. -A. W. Thomas “I want to get you excited about who you are, what you are, what you have, and what can still be for you. I want to inspire you to see that you can go far beyond where you are right now.” -Virginia Satir (Virginia Pagenkopf Satir (1916 - 1988)) “Go as far as you can see, and when you get there you will see farther.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924)) “A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.” -John Burroughs (1837 - 1921) “The great composer does not set to work because he is inspired, but becomes inspired because he is working. Beethoven, Wagner, Bach, and Mozart settled down day after day to the job in hand. They didn’t waste time waiting for inspiration.” -Ernest Newman (1868 - 1959) “Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it.” -Madeleine L’Engle (Madeleine L’Engle Camp (1918 - 2007)) “Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.” -Louisa May Alcott (1832 - 1888) Do What You Want Draw the art you want to see Start the business you want to run Play the music you want to hear Write the books you want to read Build the products you want to use Do the work you want to see done by Austin Kleon (28 February 2012) “This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) “One ought to, every day at least, hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1842): “Wilhelm Meister’s Lehrjahre” (English: “Wilhelm Meister’s Apprenticeship”) (1795 - 1796), book 5, chapter I “When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won’t come up with a handful of mud either.” -Leo Burnett (1891 - 1971) “Reach for the stars, even if you have to stand on a cactus.” -Susan Longacre “We are built to conquer environment, solve problems, achieve goals - and we find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975) “No one knows what he can do until he tries.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.) “You can have anything you want - if you want it badly enough. You can be anything you want to be, do anything you set out to accomplish, if you hold to that desire with singleness of purpose.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) “Extraordinary people are committed to doing the extra things that ordinary people won’t.” -Christine Kinney “The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.” -Jimmy Johnson (James William ‘Jimmy’ Johnson (born 1943)) “Do everything. One thing may turn out to be right.” -Humphrey Bogart (Humphrey DeForest Bogart (1899 - 1957)) “Triumph is just ‘umph’ added to ‘try.’” -Author Unknown “The explanation of triumph is all in the first syllable.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012)) “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible” (King James Version (1611)), ‘Matthew,’ chapter 7, verses 7 and 8 “If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.” -Christina Dodd (born 1957) “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)) “If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it.” -Jonathan Winters (Jonathan Harshman Winters III (1925 - 2013)) “The measure of achievement is not winning awards. It’s doing something that you appreciate, something you believe is worthwhile. I think of my strawberry soufflé. I did that at least twenty-eight times before I finally conquered it.” -Julia Child (Julia Carolyn Child (1912 - 2004)) “Almost invariably those who have reached the summits worked harder and longer, studied and planned more assiduously, practiced more self-denial, overcame more difficulties than those of us who have not risen so far.” -B. C. Forbes (Robert Charles ‘Bertie’ Forbes (1880 - 1954)) “There is only one small letter between the words Can and Can’t . . . and that one letter will t-otally change your destiny.” -Doug Firebaugh (born 1968) “Knock the ‘t’ off the ‘can’t.’” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) “Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a lion or a gazelle; when the sun comes up, you’d better be running.” -Herb Caen (Herbert Eugene ‘Herb’ Caen (1916 - 1997)) “‘How does one become a butterfly?’ she asked. ‘You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.’” -Trina Paulus (born 1931): “Hope for the Flowers” (1973), available from www.HopeForTheFlowers.com. “Tears will get you sympathy . . . Sweat will get you results.” -Author Unknown “If you want to see something done, just tell some human beings it can’t be done. Make it known that it’s impossible to fly to the Moon, or run a hundred meters in nine-point-nine seconds, or solve Fermat’s Last Theorem. Remind the world that no one has ever hit sixty-two home runs in a season . . . stuffed eighteen people into a Volkswagen Bug . . . set half the world free . . . or cloned a sheep. Dangle the undoable in front of the world. Then, consider it done.” -Author Unknown: Merrill Lynch, advertisement “A man’s ambition should be high. Not scratched in dirt - carved in the sky.” -Thomas L. Forest “You will never stub your toe standing still. The faster you go, the more chance there is of stubbing your toe, but the more chance you have of getting somewhere.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958)) There’s a Time There’s a time to part and a time to meet, There’s a time to sleep and a time to eat, There’s a time to work and a time to play, There’s a time to sing and a time to pray, There’s a time that’s glad and a time that’s blue, There’s a time to plan and a time to do, There’s a time to grin and to show your grit, But there never was a time to quit. by Author Unknown “Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.” -Author Unknown “Every day is an opportunity to make a new happy ending.” -Author Unknown “If you can’t learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.” -Author Unknown Good, Better, Best Good, better, best, Never let it rest Until your Good is Better And your Better is the Best. by Author Unknown “No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big.” -Author Unknown Everybody Is Somebody This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done. by Author Unknown “If you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, march down there and turn it on yourself.” -Author Unknown Anything Can Be Listen to the Mustn’ts, child, Listen to the Don’ts Listen to the Shouldn’ts The Impossibles, the Won’ts Listen to the Never Haves Then listen close to me - Anything can happen, child, Anything can be. by Shel Silverstein (Sheldon Allan ‘Shel’ Silverstein (1930 - 1999)): “Where the Sidewalk Ends” (1974) “You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.” -Author Unknown “Live to inspire, and one day people will say, ‘Because of you, I didn’t give up.’” -Author Unknown “Of all the people I have ever known, those who have pursued their dreams and failed have lived a much more fulfilling life than those who have put their dreams on a shelf for fear of failure.” -Author Unknown Words Did is a word of achievement, Won’t is a word of retreat, Might is a word of bereavement, Can’t is a word of defeat, Ought is a word of duty, Try is a word each hour, Will is a word of beauty, Can is a word of power. by Author Unknown “Make big plans; aim high in hope and work, remembering that a noble, logical diagram once recorded will never die, but long after we are gone will be a living thing, asserting itself with ever-growing intensity. Remember that our sons and grandsons are going to do things that would stagger us. Let your watchword be order and your beacon be beauty.” -Daniel Hudson Burnham (1846 - 1912) “I am not a has-been. I am a will-be.” -Lauren Bacall (pseudonym of Betty Joan Perske (1924 - 2014)) What I Would Like to Be I would like to be a Could Be If I could not be an Are, For a Could Be is a May Be With a chance of going far. I would rather be a Has Been Than a Might Have Been by far, For a Might Have Been has never been But a Has Been was an Are. by Author Unknown “I really don’t think life is about the I-could-have-beens. Life is only about the I-tried-to-do. I don’t mind the failure but I can’t imagine that I’d forgive myself if I didn’t try.” -Nikki Giovanni (Yolande Cornelia ‘Nikki’ Giovanni, Junior (born 1943)) “Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.” -Wendell Johnson (1906 - 1965) “Never forget all that you have survived, all that you have accomplished, all that you are capable of, all that you will do, your hopes and dreams and plans, and the bright future that awaits you. Go forward with extreme optimism!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “It’s not what you do some of the time that counts, it’s what you do all of the time that counts.” -Jack LaLanne (François Henri ‘Jack’ LaLanne (1914 - 2011)) “Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!” -Anne Frank (1929 - 1945): “The Diary of a Young Girl” (1952) “We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.” -Frank Tibolt (1897 - 1989) Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible. -Claude T. Bissell (Claude Thomas Bissell (1916 - 2000)) “Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of a unanimity.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)): as quoted in “American Artist” (1949) “Every day is another chance to make your dreams come true.” -Author Unknown “There is something that I know about you that you may not even know yourself. You have within you more resources of energy than have ever been tapped, more talent than has ever been exploited, more strength than has ever been tested, and more to give than you have ever given.” -John Gardner (1933 - 1982) “Champions know there are no shortcuts to the top. They climb the mountain one step at a time. They have no use for helicopters!” -Judi Adler “You can follow your heart - just don’t forget to take your head with you.” -Author Unknown “You never know what’s around the corner. It could be everything. Or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you’ve climbed a mountain.” -Tom Hiddleston (Thomas William Hiddleston (born 1981)) “When I’m inspired, I get excited because I can’t wait to see what I’ll come up with next.” -Dolly Parton (Dolly Rebecca Parton (born 1946)) Imagine all the good things that life has to offer, all the good things in the world - it is all out there, waiting for you - what are you waiting for? We have much more inspiration and motivation for you on the Make Fun Of Life! Website. To go directly to it, click on Inspiration.  Image attribution: Man photo created by asier_relampagoestudio - www.freepik.com. “Do not worry too much - you will create a problem that was not even there in the first place!” -Author Unknown
Every life has some trouble When you worry you make it double. -Bobby McFerrin (born 1950) “If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine.” -Morris West (Morris Langlo West (1916 - 1999)) A Worry A worry crept into a mind, Leaving claw marks and gashes behind. It turned the mind blue As it twisted each screw, Then it chuckled, and left, with a grind. by Author Unknown “Let us be of good cheer, however, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those which never come.” -James Russell Lowell (1819 - 1891): “Democracy” (1887) “Worry is a form of fear, and all forms of fear produce fatigue. A man who has learned not to feel fear will find the fatigue of daily life enormously diminished.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970)) If you’re worried and you can’t sleep, Just count your blessings instead of sheep, And you’ll fall asleep counting your blessings. -Irving Berlin (1888 - 1989): “Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep” (1954); type of work: song “Our worst misfortunes never happen, and most miseries lie in anticipation.” -Honoré de Balzac (1799 - 1850) “Never borrow sorrow from tomorrow.” -Author Unknown “Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.” -Author Unknown “Stop worrying . . . and start making jokes!” -Author Unknown My Worry A little bitty worry Started early in the day; By noon it seemed my worry Hovered, standing in my way; The things and thoughts I should have had Got buried in my mind, Until my little worry turned Into the horrid kind. By bedtime I was frantic - What to do, oh what to do! And then I couldn’t go to sleep, For worrying - fretting, too. By morning I was almost sick, When suddenly and soon, My worry had been all worked out Before the toll of noon; Then I looked back And saw my worry Just for what it was - A thing that didn’t happen, As a worry seldom does. by Bonnie Daisy Nelson: as published in “A Garden of Poems” from the Salesian Collection “Drag your thoughts away from your troubles . . . by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)) “Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning.” -Winston Churchill (Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill (1874 - 1965)) “Worry is today’s mice nibbling on tomorrow’s cheese.” -Author Unknown “‘Each day has troubles enough of its own,’ so why anticipate them? If we do, we double them. For if our fear does not materialize, we have worried once for nothing; if it does materialize, we have worried twice instead of once. In both cases, it is foolish; worry doubles trouble.” -John R. W. Stott “We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.” -Ethel Barrett (1913 - 1998) “Let not your heart be troubled.” -John: as quoted in “The Bible” (King James Version (1611)), ‘The Gospel According to John,’ chapter 14, verse 1 “Who says worry doesn’t help - all those things I worry about don’t happen!” -Author Unknown “Meditate upon exile, torture, wars, diseases, shipwreck . . . so that you may not be a novice to any misfortune.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65)) “Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want.” -Esther Hicks (born 1948) “Worrying takes up just as much time as work, but work pays better dividends.” -Author Unknown “My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)): “Essais” (“Essays”) (1595), Book 3, chapter 1 “The most pleasant and useful persons are those who leave some of the problems of the Universe for God to worry about.” -Don Marquis (1878 - 1937) “Wringing your hands only stops you from rolling up your sleeves.” -James Rollins “Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955))) “Happy is the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying once and for all.” -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17)) “Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles; it takes away today’s peace.” - Author Unknown “The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778)) “Some of today’s worries are like puddles: tomorrow they will have evaporated.” -Author Unknown “Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.” -Author Unknown: Swedish proverb “A day of worry is more exhausting than a week of work.” -John Lubbock (1834 - 1913): “The Use of Life” (1894) “What worries you, masters you.” -John Locke (1632 - 1704) “A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.” -Harold Stephens (born 1926) “Worry is an abuse of God’s gift of imagination.” -Corrine Lajeunesse “Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime, and too sleepy to worry at night.” -Leo Aikman (James Leo Aikman (1908 - 1978)) “Worry: Mountain climbing over molehills.” -Author Unknown “If you’re overwhelmed by thinking of all there is to be done, stop thinking about it so much and start working on it.” -Author Unknown “Don’t let your worries get the best of you. Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.” -Author Unknown Worry Worry is a futile thing, It’s somewhat like a rocking chair; Although it keeps you occupied, It doesn’t get you anywhere. by Author Unknown Overheard: Don’t tell me worrying doesn’t do any good - I know better! Most of the things I worry about never happen. “Worry is a cycle of inefficient thoughts whirling around a center of fear.” -Corrie ten Boom (Cornelia ‘Corrie’ ten Boom (1892 - 1983)) “Nothing wastes more energy than worrying. The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it becomes. Don’t take life too seriously. Live a life full of serenity, not of regrets.” -Douglas Pagels (born 1950) “You can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.” -Janis Joplin (1943 - 1970) “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” (1948) is a self-help book by Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955))). Mr. Carnegie wrote in the preface of the book that he wrote it because he “was one of the unhappiest lads in New York.” He said that he made himself sick with worry because he hated his position in life. The goal of the book is to lead the reader to a more enjoyable and fulfilling life, helping them to become more aware of not only themselves, but of others around them. Mr. Carnegie addresses the everyday nuances of living, in order to get the reader to focus on the larger canvas of life. “Worry never accomplishes anything. When you have a problem, it is best to concentrate on the solution to that problem, not the problem itself.” -Thomas D. Willhite (Thomas Dale Willhite (1940 - 1983)) “A man ninety years old was asked to what he attributed his longevity. ‘I reckon,’ he said with a twinkle in his eye, ‘It’s because most nights I went to bed and slept when I should have sat up and worried.’” -Dorothea Kent (1916 - 1990) “Worry is an unhealthy and destructive mental habit.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993) “There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” -Epictetus (C.E. 55 - C.E. 135) “If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will overlook what is.” -Author Unknown [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, “What shall we eat?” or “What shall we drink?” or “What shall we wear?” For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. by Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Matthew,’ chapter 6, verses 25 through 34 [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] “Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due.” -William R. Inge (William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954)) “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.” -Corrie ten Boom (Cornelia ‘Corrie’ ten Boom (1892 - 1983)): “Clippings from my Notebook” (1982) “To worry about tomorrow is to be unhappy today.” -Author Unknown “Worrying is silly - it is like walking around with an umbrella, waiting for it to rain.” -Author Unknown How can you make the ‘Worry List’ you carry in your head a little shorter? “Never bear more than one trouble at a time. Some people bear three kinds - all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have.” -Edward Everett Hale (1822 - 1909) “In order to be done in a useful manner, worrying must be done quickly and then gotten over with. Worrying helps us to figure out if there is something that needs to be done so that we can then do it, and if not, then stop worrying and get on with the daily activities and the great adventures of life!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “You can’t change the past, but you can a ruin a perfectly good present worrying about the future.” -Author Unknown “Worry is like riding a roller coaster. It scares the wits out of you, and you always end up right where you started.” -Author Unknown “People spend most of their lives worrying about things that never happen.” -Jean Molière (pseudonym of Jean-Baptiste Poquelin (1622 - 1673)) Worrying and Worriers Quiz - Do you have enough to worry about? - Do other people often cause us to worry unnecessarily? - How do you know if you are worrying too much? - Can worrying make you sick? - Can you teach yourself to worry less? “What if we knew for certain that everything we’re worried about today will work out fine? What if . . . we knew the future was going to be good, and we would have an abundance of resources and guidance to handle whatever comes our way? What if . . . we knew everything was okay, and we didn’t have to worry about a thing? What would we do then? We’d be free to let go and enjoy life.” -Melody Beattie: “The Language of Letting Go” “Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. All it does is steal your joy and keep you busy doing nothing.” -Author Unknown “If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.” -E. Joseph Cossman (Eli Joseph Cossman (1918 - 2002)) “It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge an elephant, but we can’t dodge a fly.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885)) “Don’t fill your head with worries. There won’t be room for anything else.” -Author Unknown “Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.” -Mary Hemingway (1908 - 1986) “Show me a worrying person and I will show you a person who does not know how to relax.” -Albert E. Cliffe (Albert Edward Cliffe (1892 - 1954)) “Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep always in the sunlight.” -Benjamin Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790)) “Worrying is like wishing for something that you do not want.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “I’ve got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I’m stressing about for absolutely no logical reason.” -Author Unknown I was early taught to work as well as play, My life has been one long, happy holiday; Full of work and full of play - I dropped the worry on the way - And God was good to me every day. -John Davison Rockefeller, Senior (1839 - 1937): verses written on his eighty-sixth birthday (8 July 1925) At MFOL! we are worried that we might be taken seriously . . . okay, that’s enough worrying for one day . . . now let’s go have some fun!  Melissa: Do you love me with all your heart? Fred: Uh-huh. Melissa: Do you think I am the most beautiful woman in the world? Fred: Uh-huh. Melissa: Am I the only one for you? Fred: Uh-huh. Melissa: Oh, you say the most wonderful things! “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” -Doctor Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 - 1991)) “Where there is great love, there are always miracles.” -Willa Sibert Cather (born Wilella Sibert Cather (1873 - 1947)) “Love is metaphysical gravity.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (1895 - 1983) “No one is perfect until you fall in love with them.” -Author Unknown “I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.” -Roy Croft (1907 - 1973) “Love is a verb.” -Clare Boothe Luce (1903 - 1987) “What we love, we shall grow to resemble.” -Bernard of Clairvaux (C.E. 1090 - C.E. 1153) “The heart that loves is always young.” -Author Unknown “Love at first sight is a great time saver.” -Author Unknown “In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.” -Mignon McLaughlin (1913 - 1983) “Love is the reward of love.” -Johann Friedrich von Schiller (Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller (1759 - 1805)) “Love is space and time measured by the heart.” -Marcel Proust (1871 - 1922) “Sometimes I wish I was a little child again - because bruised knees heal faster than broken hearts.” -Author Unknown “Love is never without some thorns.” -Author Unknown Perfect Love They walked in the lane together, The sky was covered with stars; They reached the gate in silence, He lifted down the bars. She neither smiled nor thanked him, Because she knew not how; For he was a farmer’s son, And she, a Jersey cow. by Author Unknown “To be loved, be lovable.” -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso) (43 B.C. -17 A.D.) “I love you more than yesterday, less than tomorrow.” -Edmond Rostand (1868 - 1918) “Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.” -Jerome K. Jerome (Jerome Klapka Jerome (1859 - 1927)): “Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow” (1886) “Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that the person will love you back. Do not expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their hearts but if it does not, be content it grew in yours.” -Author Unknown Book of Love If I could read you like a book, And if I chanced to steal a look, I wonder if I’d find that you Were just as faithful, and as true In chapter four, page sixty-seven As you were on page eleven? by Author Unknown “To love and be loved, is to feel the Sun from both sides.” -David Viscott (1938 - 1996) “You don’t have to be perfect to be worth loving.” -Harold S. Kushner (Harold Samuel Kushner (born 1935)) “We find rest in those we love, and we provide a resting place in ourselves for those who love us.” -Bernard of Clairvaux (C.E. 1090 - C.E. 1153) “It’s love that makes the world go ’round.” -W. S. Gilbert (William Schwenck Gilbert (1836 - 1911)) “Love is all we have, the only way that each can help the other.” -Euripides (480 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.) The Opposite of Two What is the opposite of two? A lonely me, a lonely you. by Richard Wilbur (Richard Purdy Wilbur (born 1921)): “Opposites” (1973) “All love shifts and changes. I don’t know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time.” -Julie Andrews “True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” -Erich Segal “The heart is a strange beast and not ruled by logic.” -Maria V. Snyder (born 1973) “What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.” -Pearl Bailey (Pearl Mae Bailey (1918 - 1990)): as quoted in “Weekly World News” (25 April 2005) “We don’t love qualities; we love a person; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as their qualities.” -Jacques Maritain “Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.” -Fyodor Dostoevsky (Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881))  “Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” -Paul of Tarsus: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘First Corinthians,’ chapter 13, verses 4 through 8
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach. -Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806 - 1861): “Sonnets from the Portuguese” (1850) People have made a silly pastime of holding a daisy and plucking off its petals while saying, “He loves me, he loves me not,” or “She loves me, she loves me not.” Supposedly, the last petal has the answer - but how would a flower know? “Just because someone does not love you the way you want him or her to, does not mean they do not love you with everything they have got.” -Author Unknown “Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.” -Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778)) “We loved with a love that was more than love.” -Edgar Allan Poe (1809 - 1849) “He was happy and unhappy all at once. He was in love.” -Petra Mathers: “Victor and Christabel” (1993) Knock, knock! Who’s there? Olive. Olive, who? Olive you! “The course of true love never did run smooth.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” (1595), Act I, scene 1, line 140 (words spoken by fictional character Lysander) “Hearts are wild creatures. That’s why our ribs are cages.” -Author Unknown Jared: How do you mend a broken heart? Annie: With ticker tape. “The great acts of love are done by those who are habitually performing small acts of kindness.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885)) Together Because we do All things together All things improve, Even weather. Our daily meat And bread taste better, Trees are greener, Rain is wetter. by Paul Engle (1908 - 1991) “To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.” -Bess Myerson (1924 - 2014) “Do you love me, warts and all?” -Author Unknown “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” -Robert A. Heinlein (Robert Anson Heinlein (1907 - 1988)): “Stranger in a Strange Land” “To love someone means to see him as God intended him.” -Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1821 - 1881) “Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Venus and Adonis” (1593), line 821; type of work: narrative poem “I wish I could turn back the clock. I’d find you sooner and love you longer.” -Author Unknown “Draw a circle, not a heart, around the one you love, because a heart can break, but a circle goes on forever.” -Danny Kaye (born David Daniel Kaminsky (1911 - 1987)) Love wasn’t put in your heart to stay - Love isn’t love till you give it away. -Author Unknown “When we first fall in love, we feel that we know all there is to know about life, and perhaps we are right.” -Author Unknown “What power has love but forgiveness?” -William Carlos Williams (1883 - 1963) Do you love me? Or do you not? You told me once, But I forgot. -Elena Helms “I’m bananas for you - let’s never split!” -Author Unknown “Love creates an ‘us’ without destroying the ‘me’.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998)) “If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater.” -Author Unknown “Love you to the Moon and back.” -Author Unknown “Nobody has ever measured, even poets, how much a heart can hold.” -Zelda Fitzgerald (born Zelda Sayre (1900 - 1948)) “If you wish women to love you, be original; I know a man who used to wear fur hats summer and winter, and women fell in love with him.” -Anton Chekhov (Anton Pavlovich Chekhov (1860 - 1904)) I Love You! I love you, I love you, I love you, I do. But don’t get excited - I love monkeys, too! by Author Unknown “At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.” -Plato (about 427 B.C.E. - 347 B.C.E.): “The Symposium” “I think . . . if it is true that there are as many minds as there are heads, then there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910)) “When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.” -Elizabeth Bowen (Elizabeth Dorothea Cole Bowen (1899 - 1973)) “Perfect love casts out fear.” -Uell Stanley Andersen (1917 - 1986) “I love you more than all the stars in the sky.” -Author Unknown “Who ever lov’d, that lov’d not at first sight?” -Christopher Marlowe (1564 - 1593) “We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” -Sam Keen (born 1931) “We can only learn to love by loving.” -Iris Murdoch (1919 - 1999) “Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary.” -Teresa of Calcutta (also known as Mother Teresa; born Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997)) Overheard: I’ve been looking for you ever since I heard my first fairy tale . . . “One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life; that word is love.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.) “What a grand thing, to be loved! What a grander thing still, to love!” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885)) “Love is by far the most important thing of all.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944) “The secret of health, happiness, and long life: If you simply learn how to accept and express love, you will live longer . . . be happier . . . grow healthier. For love is a powerful force.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997)) “To love, and to be loved, is the greatest happiness of existence.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845): “Lady Holland’s Memoir” (1855), ‘Of Friendship’ I loved you yesterday, I love you still - I always have, I always will. -Author Unknown “To acquire love, fill yourself up with it until you become a magnet.” -Charles Haanel (1866 - 1949) “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” -Author Unknown This is MFOL! . . . where LMLML! (Levity Makes Life More Livable!)  A chicken crossing the road is ‘poultry in motion.’ But why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it sort of happened this way . . . Carla: Why did the rubber chicken cross the road? Marlene: She wanted to stretch her legs. Gladys: How do you avoid that rundown feeling? Clementine: Always look both ways before crossing the road! Sonny: Why did the chicken cross the road? Grandpa: In my day, we did not ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. And that chicken would have had to walk barefoot five miles in the snow just to get to that road, too. They just do not make chickens like that anymore! Austin: How did the egg cross the road? Ozzie: It scrambled across. Patrice: Why did it take so long for the elephant to cross the road? Tricia: Because the chicken had trouble carrying him. Louisa: Why did the cat cross the road? Louie: The chicken had to take a day off to rest after carrying the elephant across. Margaret: Why did the bad speller cross the road? Margery: Too get two the other side. Wilbur: Did you hear about the two kangaroos that crossed the road? Orville: Yes, they jumped into each other’s pouches and were never seen again. Phillip: Why did the monkey cross the road? Ophelia: To show he was not chicken. Gregory: Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road? Megan: Because it ran out of juice. Timmy: Why did the raccoon cross the road? Tammy: Because she was chasing the chicken. Curtis: Why did Captain Hook cross the road? Howard: To get to the secondhand shop Boris: Why did the monster help the little old ghoul across the road? Doris: Because that is what fiends are for. Alexander: Why did the chicken cross the road? Aristotle: To fulfill its nature on the other side. Minerva: What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road? Minnie: Catching the chickens as they crossed the road. Harpo Marx: Why did the chicken cross the road? Groucho Marx: Chicken? What is all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost left him, but we needed the eggs! Barbara: Why did the chicken cross the amusement park? Candace: To get to the other ride. Millicent: Why did the polar bear cross the road? Lucinda: To show the alligator that it could be done. Mirabelle: Why did the chicken cross the road? Reuben: To get to the other side. Rhoda: Why did the penguin cross the road? Ronda: Because the chicken owed it $5.  Adrienne: Why did the woman cross the road? Addie: So she could get her picture on www.MakeFunOfLife.net and be famous! Percival: Why did the snake slither across the road? Perry: To get to the other sss-sss-sss-side! Mabelle: Why did the cows cross the road? Bonnie: Because they are always on the moo-ve. Artie: Why did the cookie cross the road? Marty: To dunk itself in a glass of milk. Justin: Why did the cell cross the microscope? Dustin: To get to the other slide. Kimberly: Why did the rooster cross the road? Kimmy: He wanted something to crow about. Agyrophobia, also called dromophobia, is a persistent fear of roads or of crossing roads. Even when no motor vehicles are present, some sufferers from this affliction still experience fear. Agyrophobia comes from the Greek words ‘gyrus’ meaning ‘turning’ or ‘whirling’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear,’ while dromophobia is derived from the Greek words ‘dromos’ meaning ‘running’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’ One of the things that could be said about the chicken that crossed the road is that he was not chicken to cross the road - and you should not be either. Bernard: Why did the chicken cross the road? Leonard: Just for the fun of it! Siskel: I don’t know why the chickens crossed the road, but I loved it. Thumbs up! Ebert: I disagree. The whole thing left the audience wondering; the chickens’ crossing the road was never clearly explained, and the chickens didn’t emote very well. Thumbs down. Octavius: Why did the frog hop across the road? Augustus: To see what the chicken was doing! First Lab Tech: Why did the function cross the road? Second Lab Tech: Because it was defined on both sides and continuous. Tina: Why did the sheep cross the road? Lena: To get to the baaa-baaa shop for a trim. Doctor McCoy: Why did the chicken cross the road? Captain James Tiberius Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. Karl: Why did the chicken cross the road? Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of ‘crossing’ was encoded into the objects ‘chicken’ and ‘road,’ and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence. Paul: Why did the chicken cross the road? Saul: I don’t know. Paul: To get to your house! . . . long awkward pause . . . Paul: Knock, knock. Saul: Who’s there? Paul: It’s the chicken from the last joke! Amy: Why did the dog cross the road twice? Annie: She was trying to catch a boomerang. Beatrice: Why did the pigs cross the road with their laundry? Tricia: They wanted to do their hogwash. Kirsten: Why did the rabbit cross the road? Christina: To get to the hopping mall. Marv: Why did the shoe cross the road? Irv: Because it’s on your foot. Bored? Want to have some fun? Get together with your friends and play ‘The Road Crossing Game.’ Here’s how it works. One of you says, “Why did the __________________ (fill in the blank) cross the road?” The other of you tries to reply with a funny answer. The one who comes up with the best answer has the next turn, and you just keep on going with the game. Jesse: Why did the duck cross the road? Bessie: To visit the chicken of course! Ticket Against Jaywalking Chicken. Ridgecrest, California: A chicken that got a ticket for crossing the road has clawed his way out of it. The $54 (RM205.20) citation for impeding traffic was dismissed after Linc and Helena Moore’s attorney argued that the fowl was domesticated and could not be charged as livestock. State law restricts livestock on highways, but not domestic animals. The chicken was ticketed on 26 March for impeding traffic after it wandered onto a road in Johannesburg, a rural mining town southeast of Ridgecrest. -AP Jasper: Why did the chicken cross the internet? Casper: To get to the Make Fun Of Life! Website. Nick: Why did the seal cross the road? Vick: To get to the otter side. Marcella: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? Marc: To get to the same side. Artemus: Why did the snail cross the road? Gordon: I don’t know, she hasn’t gotten there yet. In Quitman, Georgia, United States of America, chickens are actually prohibited by law from crossing the road. Hugh: Why did the horse cross the road? Bert: He wanted to visit his neigh-bors. John: Why did the chicken cross the road? Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. A historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such a herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence. Chrissy: Who lumbered across the road? Lizzie: A lumberjack. Petula: Why did the chicken nearly stop crossing the road? Clark: It got tired of everyone making so many jokes! Henry David Thoreau: Why did the chicken cross the road? Ralph Waldo Emerson: The chicken did not merely cross the road . . . it transcended the road.  Julian: Why did the turkey cross the road?
Jillian: To go, “Gobble, gobble! Gobble, gobble!” on the other side. George: Why did the comedian cross the road? Jerry: To get to the punchline! Can’t get enough of “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Here are a few more: Because . . . the pedestrian sign was flashing “WALK” and the road was clear of moving vehicles; Farmer Brown was across the road calling out, “Here, chick-chick-chick, here, chick-chick-chick,” while tossing corn around on the ground; go ask your mother; go ask your father; to catch the “L” train; to try the new hot ‘n’ spicy bacon double cheeseburger; to catch the show; she had a bee in her bonnet; to take a closer look at the cow; to feather her nest; to see what was on the other side; because at the time it seemed like a good idea; the sky was falling; to catch a falling star; to buy a copy of the new horror novel “Chicken Soup for the Human Soul”; to try to look important; to make a new friend; she was lost and headed in the wrong direction; to try something new; they told her there was a ham sandwich in it for her; to escape global warming; to escape the coming ice age; she was a good and faithful friend; I’m listening; oh, I love you so much; what was the question again?; it’s a little complicated; the other chickens said it couldn’t be done; we would have to look at it from the chicken’s perspective; what was the question again?; she’d already been around the block; to see what she could see; for the fun of it; it’s a bit of a mystery, isn’t it?; she knew she’d give the farmer nightmares for years to come; another chicken gave her an odd look; I can’t comment on an ongoing investigation; why don’t we go find out; she was certainly a funny bird, that one; truth be told, nobody really knows . . . Mitchell: Why did the turtle cross the road? Shelia: To get to the shell station. Arlene: What happened when the skunks argued while crossing the road? Aileen: They raised a big stink. Eunice: Why did the chicken cross the road? Eustice: Because the other chickens egged her on. Tips for Safely Crossing Roads - Stop, look, and listen. - Wait until the signal shows “WALK” or a human figure lights up. - Hold hands and stay together. - Always look both ways before crossing the road. - Look left, then right, then left again. - Stay in the crosswalk. - Cross at intersections and do not cross at other places. - Be aware that drivers sometimes drive when and where they should not because they are not good drivers. - Can you think of other tips for safely crossing roads? Silvia: Why did the dog cross the road? Ingrid: To get to the barking lot. Larry: Why did the kiwi fruit run across the road? Lawrence: Because it was being chased by a pineapple. Charlotte: Why did the ambitious man cross the road? Shelly: Because he was chasing his dreams. Road Crossings Quiz: Who Am I? 1. I waddle across the road. 2. I bounce or roll across the road. 3. I inch across the road. 4. I dribble across the road. 5. I flow across the road. Alex: Why did the chicken cross the road? Lacy: Don’t ask me, ask the chicken! Lenny: Why did the scientist cross the road? Squiggy: Centrifugal force. Road Crossings Quiz Answers: Who Am I? 1. I am a duck and I waddle across the road. 2. I am a ball and I bounce or roll across the road. 3. I am an inchworm and I inch across the road. 4. I am a basketball player and I dribble a basketball across the road. 5. I am water and I flow across the road. Earl: Why did the procrastinator cross the road? Lee: Because it was supposed to have been done two months ago! Stop, Look, and Listen I stop, I look, I listen, Before I cross the street. I use my eyes, I use my ears, And then I use my feet. by Author Unknown Carl: Why did the chicken cross the road? Claire: Because the early bird catches the worm! Emily: Why did the spider cross the road? Amelia: To get to its other web site. Buzz Aldrin: Have you heard that a chicken has finally crossed the road? Neil Armstrong: That is one small step for a chicken . . . one giant leap for all poultry-kind. Someone could make a full-length movie about a chicken crossing the road - how about you? We have much more humor for you on a huge variety of topics on the Make Fun Of Life! Website - just scroll down the page.  “It’s never too late for a new beginning in your life.” -Joyce Meyer (born 1943) “Don’t be afraid to start over. It’s a chance to build something better this time.” -Author Unknown “Every day is a new beginning. Treat it that way. Stay away from what might have been, and look at what can be.” -Marsha Petrie Sue “In spite of anyone or anything, all it take is you - yourself alone - to grant yourself a second chance.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “Big journeys begin with small steps.” -Author Unknown “Forget the long ago. We are here and we are now, and that is all. We are making a new start.” -Doris Lessing (Doris May Lessing (1919 - 2013)) “Every day is a second chance.” -Author Unknown “Never too old, never too bad, never too late, never too sick to start from scratch once again.” -Bikram Choudhury “Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it.” -L. M. Montgomery (Lucy Maud Montgomery (1874 - 1942))  “Dear God of second chances and new beginnings - here I am again!” -Nancy Spielberg “The best thing you can give someone is a chance.” -Author Unknown ▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪ A New Chance When doubts and fears are growing, It’s hard to keep on going From day to day not knowing Just what the end will be. Take each day as you find it, If things go wrong, don’t mind it, For each day leaves behind it A chance to start anew. by Gertrude Ellgas (Gertrude M. Ellgas (1896 - 1994)) ▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪ What is a ‘second chance’? Is it a miracle? Is it an example of love? Is it someone taking a risk?  “Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow.” -Author Unknown
“Every good person deserves a chance at a do-over.” -Author Unknown “We’re given second chances every day of our life. We don’t usually take them, but they’re there for the taking.” -Andre Greely Should life include more do-overs and second chances, for good people? ▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪ New Beginnings It’s only the beginning now . . . a pathway yet unknown At times the sound of other steps . . . sometimes we walk alone. The best beginnings of our lives May sometimes end in sorrow But even on our darkest days The Sun will shine tomorrow. So we must do our very best Whatever life may bring And look beyond the Winter chill To smell the breath of Spring. Into each life will always come A time to start anew A new beginning for each heart As fresh as morning dew. Although the cares of life are great And hands are bowed so low The storms of life will leave behind The wonder of a rainbow. The years will never take away Our chance to start anew It’s only the beginning now So dreams can still come true. by Gertrude B. McClain ▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪ “Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)) “Then Peter came and said to him, ‘Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I ought to still forgive him? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.’” -“The Bible,” ‘Gospel of Matthew,’ chapter 18, verse 22 By way of further explanation, Peter desired to go beyond what the religious leaders of the time and place did, for they would only forgive a person as many as three times. Peter thought he could do more, so he asked Jesus if he ought to forgive his brother, “as many as seven times.” Jesus replied, “seventy times seven,” meaning we are to forgive our brothers and sisters in Christ as often as they need to be forgiven. Second chances are not something we seek for ourselves alone, but which we also are to give lovingly to others. “It’s never too late never too late to start over, never too late to be happy.” -Jane Fonda “Every single moment of a person’s life, both of the understanding and of the will, is a new beginning.” -Emanuel Swedenborg “I think I finally understand life - it is an endeavor, a path, a road, a journey, that starts anew with each step . . . every golden moment is a new beginning, every golden moment is another chance to begin again.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) This is MFOL! . . . it’s magic . . . it really is . . . well, almost . . .  If you could write something to change the world, what would it be? “The best way to become acquainted with a subject is to write a book about it.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881) “Writing is like walking in a deserted street. Out of the dust in the street you make a mud pie.” -John LeCarre Not like Homer would I write, Not like Dante if I might, Not like Shakespeare at his best, Not like Goethe or the rest, Like myself, however small, Like myself, or not at all. -William Allingham (1824 - 1889) “Words are an inexpensive, and an extremely fun, plaything.” -Author Unknown A four-year-old girl was diligently pounding away on her daddy’s old computer. She informed him that she was writing a story. “What is your story about?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she answered. “I can’t read.” “If there’s a book you want to read but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” -Toni Morrison (born 1931) “When I left home, my mum said, ‘Don’t forget to write.’ I thought, ‘That’s unlikely . . . It’s a basic skill, isn’t it . . .’” -Timothy Mark ‘Tim’ Vine (born 1967) “I can shake off everything if I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.” -Anne Frank (Annelies Marie ‘Anne’ Frank (1929 - 1945)): “Diary of a Young Girl” (1952), entry for 4 April 1944 Hugh: Hey, did you hear Stu’s writing a book? Lou: Why doesn’t he just buy one? It’s faster. “The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn’t require any.” -Russell Baker (Russell Wayne Baker (1925 - 2019)) “When audiences come to see us authors lecture, it is largely in the hope that we’ll be funnier to look at than to read.” -Sinclair Lewis (1885 - 1951) “Writing is the hardest way of earning a living, with the possible exception of wrestling alligators.” -Olin Miller (1918 - 2002) “Writers are a little below the clowns and a little above the trained seals.” -John Steinbeck (John Ernst Steinbeck, Junior (1902 - 1968)) “Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.” -Benjamin Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790)) “Oliver Herford once dropped a remark in a little group of writers who were telling how much trouble they took with their work. One said he sometimes took weeks working over a single chapter. Another said, ‘That’s nothing, I sometimes spend days struggling with a single paragraph.’ ‘And I,’ said Oliver in his faraway voice, ‘frequently spend months polishing a single word.’” -Curtis Brown “What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) Helga: What are you doing? Glenn: I’m writing a book. Helga: What’s it about? Glenn: Everything! “Why had I become a writer in the first place? Because I wasn’t fit for society; I didn’t fit into the system.” -Brian Wilson Aldiss (1925 - 2017) “Editing is a rewording activity.” -Author Unknown The first novel written on a typewriter was “Tom Sawyer” (1876) by Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)). Of all those arts in which the wise excel Nature’s chief masterpiece is writing well. -John Sheffield “It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous.” -Robert Benchley (Robert Charles Benchley (1889 - 1945)) “For several days after my first book was published, I carried it about in my pocket, and took surreptitious peeps at it to make sure that the ink had not faded.” -James Matthew Barrie (1860 - 1937): speech (26 May 1922) at the Critics’ Circle in London, England “Anyone who can think clearly can write clearly. But neither is easy.” -William Feather (1889 - 1981): “The Business of Life” (1949) But words are things, and a small drop of ink, Falling like dew, upon a thought, produces That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think. -George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824): “Don Juan” (1818 - 1824), stanza 88 Often paraphrased as, “A drop of ink may make a million think.” -George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824) “The only end of writing is to enable the readers better to enjoy life, or better to endure it.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)  “A writer is someone for whom writing is much harder than it is for the others.” -Ken Laws
“Every writer I know has trouble writing.” -Joseph Heller (1923 - 1999) “I have tried simply to write the best I can; sometimes I have good luck and write better than I can.” -Ernest Hemingway (Ernest Miller Hemingway (1899 - 1961)) “The Pythagorean Theorem employed 24 words, the Lord’s Prayer has 66 words, Archimedes Principle has 67 words, the 10 Commandments have 179 words, the Gettysburg Address has 286 words, the Declaration of Independence has 1,300 words, and finally the European Commission’s regulation on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words.” -Author Unknown “A great many people now reading and writing would be better employed keeping rabbits.” -Edith Sitwell (1887 - 1964) “I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say.” -Flannery O’Connor (Mary ‘Flannery’ O’Connor (1925 - 1964)) “I have very little of Mr. Blake’s company; he is always in “Paradise.”“ -Mrs. William Blake “Writing isn’t hard, no harder than ditchdigging.” -Patrick Dennis “I am, really, a great writer; my only difficulty is in finding great readers.” -Frank Harris (born James Thomas Harris (1855 - 1931)): as quoted in George Jean Nathan: “The World of George Jean Nathan” (1952), page 252 “I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.” -A. J. Liebling (Abbott Joseph ‘A. J.’ Liebling (1904 - 1963)) “The circumstance which gives authors an advantage above all these great masters, is this, that they can multiply their originals; or rather, can make copies of their works, to what number they please, which shall be as valuable as the originals themselves.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719) Writer: A wordsmith. “To write well is to think well, feel well, and to render well; it is to possess at once intellect, soul, and taste.” -George Louis Buffon “Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.” -Jules Renard (1864 - 1910) “It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents - except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.” -Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)): “Paul Clifford” (1830) Writer: A word-dispensing machine. “Altogether, the style of a writer is a faithful representative of his mind; therefore, if any man wish to write a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts; and if any would write in a noble style, let him first possess a noble soul.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) (14 April 1824): as quoted in “Conversations of Goethe with Eckermann and Soret” (1850) “He has left off reading altogether, to the great improvement of his originality.” -Charles Lamb (1775 - 1834) “Writing and rewriting are a constant search for what it is one is saying.” -John Updike (John Hoyer Updike (1932 - 2009)) “A man would do well to carry a pencil in his pocket and write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought for are commonly the most valuable, and should be secured, because they seldom return.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): as attributed in E. Bridgewater: “Extracts from Ancient and Modern Authors” (1828) Ernest Vincent Wright was born in 1872. He was an American writer. He is known as the author of the 50,000-word book, “Gadsby” (1939), which does not contain the letter ‘e,’ except in the introduction and in a note at the end of the book. Ernest Vincent Wright passed on at about 67 years of age on 7 October 1939. “Le Train de Nulle Part” (English: “The Train from Nowhere”) (2004) is a 233-page novel by a Frenchman named Michel Dansel, published under the pseudonym Michel Thaler. Set on a train, it features a series of caustic cameos of fellow passengers who, while not doing much, somehow bring out the vitriol in Thaler’s pen. It contains lengthy passages of flowery prose, but not a lot of action. A notable example of constrained writing, the novel does not contain a single verb. Thaler says he loves words, but not verbs. “The verb is like a weed in a field of flowers. You have to get rid of it to allow the flowers to grow and flourish. Take away the verbs and the language speaks for itself.” “There are a thousand thoughts lying within a man that he does not know till he takes up the pen to write.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863) “I am always at a loss to know how much to believe of my own stories.” -Washington Irving (1783 - 1859) What is a ‘nom de plume’? A nom de plume (pronounced as näm də ˈplo͞om/) is a type of pseudonym. Pseudonyms are names people use for their professional work, typically that of a creative or entertainment nature. For example, actors use stage names, and writers use pen names. “A man named Samuel Langhorne Clemens named his pen ‘Mark Twain,’ and then claimed credit for all of the things his pen wrote, using his hand.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “The pen is mightier than the sword.” -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)): “Richelieu,” II, ii (1839) “There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)) “‘Harry Potter’ author J.K. Rowling says she might not stop at 7 books and might make an 8th book about Harry as an adult. When asked why, she said, ‘There’s still money in the world that I don’t have yet’.” -Conan O’Brien “I write when I’m inspired, and I see to it that I’m inspired at nine o’clock every morning.” -Peter DeVries “A man may write at any time, if he will set himself doggedly to it.” -Samuel Johnson: as quoted in Boswell: “The Journal of a Tour to the Hebrides with Samuel Johnson, LL.D.” (1775) “If you can’t annoy somebody, there’s little point in writing.” -Kingsley William Amis “Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) “To write a book is a task needing only pen ink and paper; to print a book is rather more difficult because genius often expresses itself illegibly; to read a book is more difficult still for one has to struggle with sleep; but to sell a book is the most difficult task of all.” -Frank Mumny “Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.” -Edward Gibbon “I take the view and always have that if you cannot say what you are going to say in twenty minutes, you ought to go away and write a book about it.” -Reginald Lord Brabazon “Writing is manual labor of the mind: a job like laying pipe.” -John Gregory Dunne “The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.” -Evan Esar “I never understand anything until I have written about it.” -Horace Walpole “Novelists do not write as birds sing, by the push of nature. It is part of the job that there should be much routine and some daily stuff on the level of carpentry.” - William Golding (1911 - 1993): “Rough Magic” (16 February 1977) lecture “Write without pay until somebody offers pay. If nobody offers within three years the candidate may look upon this circumstance with the most implicit confidence as the sign that sawing wood is what he was intended for.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)) “That writer does the most who gives his reader the most knowledge and takes from him the least time.” -Charles Caleb Colton “The fact that writers will go through so much to remain writers says something perhaps everything. It would be far easier (and nearly always more profitable) to become a real estate agent.” -Maria Lenhart “I always tell people that I became a writer not because I went to school but because my mother took me to the library. I wanted to become a writer so I could see my name in the card catalog.” -Sandra Cisneros This is MFOL! . . . brought to you by the magic of words . . . each one a tiny magician with hidden superpowers . . .  All things considered, activities such as skydiving are less dangerous to your health and longevity than eating starchy foods and staring at a computer screen day after day . . . give yourself a break! “When we try to be safe, we live our lives being very, very careful; and we wind up having no lives.” -Byron Katie (Byron Kathleen ‘Katie’ Mitchell (born 1942)) “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” -John Heywood (1497 - 1580): “A Dialogue of Proverbs” (1546) “You have to be careful about being too careful.” -Beryl Pfizer (1928 - 2016) “Wanted: Young, skinny, wiry fellows not over 18. Must be expert riders willing to risk death daily. Orphans preferred. Wages $25 per week.” -Author Unknown: Pony Express advertisement (1860) “What is life, but one long risk?” -Dorothy Canfield Fisher (1879 - 1958) “Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970)) “I risked much, but I made much.” -P. T. Barnum (Phineas Taylor Barnum (1810 - 1891)) “All men’s gains are the fruit of venturing.” -Herodotus (484 B.C.E. - 425 B.C.E.) “The greatest rewards in life go to the risk takers.” -Jim McCormick (James ‘Jim’ McCormick (1856 - 1918)) “Don’t be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps.” -David Lloyd George (1863 - 1945) “They say we are all one risk away from being financially independent.” -Author Unknown “‘You’ve got to be able to make those daring leaps or you’re nowhere,’ said Muskrat.” -Russell Hoban (Russell Conwell Hoban (1925 - 2011)): “The Mouse and His Child” (1967) The Cautious Man There was a very cautious man Who never laughed or played. He never risked, he never tried, He never sang or prayed. And when he one day passed away, His insurance was denied. For since he never really lived, They claimed he never died. by Author Unknown “Ever since I started flying jets I’ve been driving cars slower and slower. I can’t explain why - just cautious.” -James Jabara (1923 - 1966) “Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.” -Karl Wallenda (1905 - 1978) Knock, knock. Who’s there? Aaron! Aaron, who? Aaron on the side of caution! “If you want something you have never had, you must be willing to do something you have never done.” -Hank Aaron (Henry Louis ‘Hank’ Aaron (born 1934)) “Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and start being excited about what could go right.” -Author Unknown “There is no security on this Earth; there is only opportunity.” -Douglas MacArthur (1880 - 1964) “And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.” -Erica Jong (Erica Mann Jong (born 1942)) “There’s as much risk in doing nothing as in doing something.” -Trammell Crow (Fred ‘Trammell’ Crow (1914 - 2009)) “Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (Harriett Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940)) “The greatest risk is to risk nothing at all.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998)) “There’s no such thing as a risk-free life.” -Author Unknown “Just remember, kid: if it doesn’t kill you, it makes a great story later on.” -Adam Savage (Adam Whitney Savage (born 1967)) “Take risks - if you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise.” -Author Unknown “You fail by not taking risks.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “Land is always in the mind of the flying birds.” -Author Unknown “Better hazard once than always be in fear.” -Thomas Fuller (1608 - 1661) “The only way to be absolutely safe is never to try anything for the first time.” -Magnus Pyke (Magnus Alfred Pyke (1908 - 1992)) “If you’re never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances.” -Julia Sorel (pseudonym of Rosalyn Drexler): “See How She Runs” (1978) “Great deeds are usually wrought at great risks.” -Herodotus (484 B.C.E. - 425 B.C.E.) “Anything can be achieved in small, deliberate steps. But there are times you need the courage to take a great leap; you can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps.” -David Lloyd George (1863 - 1945) “It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all. And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified result is the only thing that makes the result come true.” -William James (1842 - 1910): “Is Life Worth Living?” (1895)  “Security is not the meaning of my life. Great opportunities are worth the risk.” -Shirley Hufstedler (Shirley Ann Mount Hufstedler (1925 - 2016))
“Don’t be careful. You could hurt yourself.” -Byron Katie (Byron Kathleen ‘Katie’ Mitchell (born 1942)) “Half the failures of this world arise from pulling in one’s horse as he is leaping.” -Augustus Hare (Augustus William Hare (1792 - 1834)) “Playing it safe is the riskiest choice we can ever make.” -Sarah Ban Breathnach (born 1947) “Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash.” -George S. Patton (George Smith Patton, Junior (1885 - 1945)) “Unless a man undertakes more than he possibly can do, he will never do all that he can.” -Henry Drummond (1851 - 1897) “Don’t play for safety. It’s the most dangerous thing in the world.” -Hugh Walpole (Hugh Seymour ‘Hugh’ Walpole (1884 - 1941)) “Every noble acquisition is attended with its risks; he who fears to encounter the one must not expect to obtain the other.” -Pietro Metastasio (pseudonym of Pietro Antonio Domenico Trapassi (1698 - 1782)) “Leap, and the net will appear.” -John Burroughs (1837 - 1921) “Look before you leap.” -Robert Greene (1558 - 1592): “Greenes Never Too Late” (1590) “The policy of being too cautious is the greatest risk of all.” -Jawaharlal Nehru (1889 - 1964) “When you play it too safe, you’re taking the biggest risk of your life. Time is the only wealth we’re given.” -Barbara Sher (born 1935) “Naught venture, naught have.” -Thomas Tusser (about 1524 - 1580) “If no one ever took risks, Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.” -Neil Simon (Marvin ‘Neil’ Simon (1927 - 2018)) “There is no safety. Only varying degrees of risk.” -Lois McMaster Bujold (born 1949) “Playing safe is probably the most unsafe thing in the world. You cannot stand still. You must go forward.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950) “He that would have the fruit must climb the tree.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732) “Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinion of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on Earth for you. Act for yourself.” -Katherine Mansfield (Katherine Mansfield Beauchamp Murry (1888 - 1923)): “Journal” (14 October 1922) “If you don’t live on the edge, you can’t see the view.” -Vicky Corrington “Take a risk a day - one small or bold stroke that makes you feel great once you’ve done it.” -Susan Jeffers (1938 - 2012) Who Am I? Who am I? Where you go, I go. I am always there, I am built into everything. Though perhaps you think of me not, Though perhaps you do not even know, I am dangerous. There are stairs to fall down, Curbs to trip over. Falling trees. Yet also new friendships, gardens to grow. There is rejection, failure, disappointment. There is acceptance, success, satisfaction. I await you in every new attempt. I am every risk you take, And every risk you do not take. by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “Yes, risk taking is inherently failure-prone. Otherwise, it would be called sure-thing-taking.” -Tim McMahon (born 1949) “The successful man is the one who had the chance and took it.” -Roger Babson (1875 - 1967) “If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.” -Colin Cowherd (Colin Murray Cowherd (born 1964)) “Take risks: if you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise.” -Author Unknown “The biggest risk you will ever take is not taking one at all.” -Author Unknown “Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955))) “If you take no risks, you’ll never be hurt, but you won’t really live, either.” -James Shiovitz (James Lowell Shiovitz (born 1949)) “It is not given us to live lives of undisrupted calm, boredom, and mediocrity. It is given us to be edge-dwellers.” -Jay Deacon (F. Jay Deacon) “Live dangerously and you live right.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) “We fail more often by timidity than by over-daring.” -David Grayson (1870 - 1946) “The secret for harvesting from existence the greatest fruitfulness and greatest enjoyment is - to live dangerously!” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)): “Die fröhliche Wissenschaft” (English: “The Gay Science”) (1882), book 4 “If you risk nothing, then you risk everything.” -Geena Davis (Virginia Elizabeth ‘Geena’ Davis (born 1956)) “The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.” -Alfred Adler (1870 - 1937): as attributed in Ichak Adizes: “How to Solve the Mismanagement Crisis” (1979) Affirmation: “I will subject myself to life’s challenges so that I may know the grace of survival.” -Author Unknown Overheard: Take a chance; you never know what might happen. “Who dares nothing, need hope for nothing.” -Johann von Schiller (Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller (1759 - 1805)): “Don Carlos” (1787) play “The biggest rewards usually go to those who take the biggest risks.” -Author Unknown “Of course risk taking does not always pay off. But it’s a lot of fun!” -Mary Wesley (born Mary Aline Mynors Farmar (1912 - 2002)) “He that is overcautious will accomplish nothing.” [translation to English] “Wer gar zu viel bedenkt, wird wenig leisten.” [original German] -Friedrich von Schiller (Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller (1759 - 1805)): “Wilhelm Tell” (1804) “The desire for security stands against every great and noble enterprise.” -Tacitus (about C.E. 56 - about C.E. 120) “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” -T. S. Eliot (Thomas Stearns Eliot (1888-1965)) “If it’s both terrifying and amazing, then you should definitely pursue it.” -Erada Svetlana “It is when we all play safe that we create a world of utmost insecurity.” -Dag Hammarskjöld (1905 - 1961) “Without the very few risk takers who risk it all, none of us would enjoy freedom, because tyrants and oppressors are tireless and fearless in their determination to control humanity and the world, and the majority will do absolutely nothing to stop them.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “If you don’t take risks, you will always work for someone who does.” -Author Unknown “Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.” -Denis Waitley (Denis E. Waitley (born 1933)) “Everything is a risk. What if it doesn’t work out? Oh - but what if it does?” -Mary Engelbreit (born 1952) “Dare to be what you ought to be; dare to be what you dream to be; dare to be the finest you can be. The more you dare, the surer you will be of gaining just what you dare!” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993) This is MFOL! . . . the website for hard-working people like you . . .  Have you ever made a wish on a dandelion flower that has gone to seed, and then blew the tiny seed tufts into the breeze? “Few wishes come true by themselves.” -June Smith “Make a wish . . . then make it happen!” -Author Unknown “We can do whatever we wish to do, provided our wish is strong enough. But the tremendous effort needed - one doesn’t always want to make it - does one? . . . But what else can be done? What’s the alternative? What do you want most to do? That’s what I have to keep asking myself, in the face of difficulties.” -Katherine Mansfield (Katherine Mansfield Beauchamp Murry (1888 - 1923)) Wishes If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. If turnips were watches, I’d wear one by my side. If ‘ifs’ and ‘ands’ Were pots and pans, There’d be no work for tinkers’ hands! by Author Unknown “They told us not to wish in the first place, not to aspire, not to try; to be quiet, to play nice, to shoot low, and aspire not at all. They are always wrong. Follow your dreams. Make your wishes. Create the future. And above all, believe in yourself.” -J. Michael Straczynski “A wish is a desire without an attempt.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “Reader’s Digest” “It is always wise to stop wishing for things long enough to enjoy the fragrance of those now flowering.” -Patricia Clafford (Mary ‘Patricia’ (Wise) Clafford (1900 - 1998)) “Wishes are the echo of a lazy will.” -Author Unknown  It’s your birthday . . . make a secret wish and blow out the candles! What did you wish for - wait, it’s a ‘secret’ wish, so you can’t tell anyone or it might not come true! “Work will win when wishy washy wishing won’t.” -Thomas S. Monson (born 1927) “Any Fish You Wish.” -Author Unknown: sign at Larry’s Fish House in the movie “The Flamingo Kid” (21 December 1984) This one makes a net, this one stands and wishes. Would you like to make a bet - which one gets the fishes? -Author Unknown “Stop saying, ‘I wish,’ and start saying, ‘I will.’” -Author Unknown “You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don’t let yourself indulge in vain wishes.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941) ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦ Away with Wishing! If wishing were being, we’d all be beautiful, Healthy and wealthy, wise and dutiful; If wishing were having - what pleasure untold; With a heartful of joy and purseful of gold! But wishes, alas! are but empty bubbles, And the longing heart may teem with troubles, So idle wishing is vain, forsooth As the endless search for the fountain of youth. But work that holds wealth may be had for the taking, Though it may not bring health, ’tis a balm for heart-aching; And study makes wise, and love, people say, Gives the beauty that’s truest, which lasts for aye. Then away with wishing; and ho! for labor! And ho! for love - each one for his neighbor! For a life of labor and study and love Is the life that fits for the joy above. by Emma C. Dowd (1851 - 1938) ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦ “Don’t wish for it . . . work for it!” -Author Unknown “We will receive not what we idly wish for but what we justly earn. Our rewards will always be in exact proportion to our service.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989) “You don’t get what you want in life just by wishing.” -Author Unknown “Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn’t spend half our time wishing.” -Alexander Woollcott (Alexander Humphreys Woollcott (1887 - 1943))  “We wish upon stars, coins tossed into fountains and wishing wells, birthday candles, wishbones, and dandelion tufts . . . perhaps it is time we placed our wishes upon hard work and made our dreams come true.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936)): “Illusions” (1977) We are MFOL! . . . may your every good wish come true . . .  “Consider carefully all things that you do, because a single choice - even if you tell yourself it will be only just this once - can begin the establishment of either a good or a bad habit.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“It takes a few weeks of work to build a new habit. Once the habit is in place, it must be guarded diligently to prevent a reversion to the old ways, but keeping watch is not stressful or difficult once the new habit is secure.” -Charlotte Mason Good Habit I dreamed that I found a good habit, It scurried and skipped like a rabbit. It was shiny and neat, Polite and quite sweet, But escaped when I reached out to grab it. by Author Unknown “Focus on the good habit you want to do, not the bad habit you don’t want to do. Overcome the bad with good.” -Joyce Meyer (born Pauline Joyce Hutchison (born 1943)) “All bad habits start gradually and before you know you have the habit, the habit has you.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012)) “Folks with good habits also seem to have most of the good luck.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Country Parson” “Habits of thinking need not be forever. One of the most significant findings in psychology in the last twenty years is that individuals can choose the way they think.” -Martin Seligman (Martin E. P. ‘Marty’ Seligman (born 1942)): “Learned Optimism” (1991) “Habits form character and character is destiny.” -Joseph Kaines: “Our Daily Faults and Failings” (21 October 1883) address Habit How shall I a habit break? As you did that habit make. As you gathered, you must lose; As you yielded, now refuse. Thread by thread the strands we twist Till they bind us, neck and wrist. Thread by thread the patient hand Must untwine, ere free we stand. As we builded, stone by stone, We must toil, unhelped, alone, Till the wall is overthrown. by John Boyle O’Reilly (1844 - 1890): “A Builder’s Lesson” “Repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993) “Every grown-up man consists wholly of habits, although he is often unaware of it and even denies having any habits at all.” -Georges Gurdjieff (1866 - 1949) “You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947)) “Everybody ought to do at least two things each day that he hates to do, just for practice.” -William James (1842 - 1910) “Any act often repeated soon forms a habit: and habit allowed, steadily gains in strength. At first it may be but as the spider’s web, easily broken through, but if not resisted it soon binds us with chains of steel.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 212 “Curious things, habits. People themselves never knew they had them.” -Agatha Christie (Agatha Mary Clarissa Christie (1890 - 1976)) “Make it a point to do something every day that you don’t want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)): “Following the Equator” (1897) “Powerful indeed is the empire of habit.” -Syrus (Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)) “Cultivate only the habits that you are willing should master you.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)) “The fixity of habit is generally in direct proportion to its absurdity.” -Marcel Proust (1871 - 1922) Each year one vicious habit rooted out, In time might make the worst Man good throughout. -Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790): “Poor Richard’s Almanack” (1738) “Habit, if not resisted, soon becomes necessity.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430)): as quoted in James Wood, editor: “Dictionary of Quotations from Ancient and Modern, English and Foreign Sources” (1899), page 138 “Only a habit can subdue another habit.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996)): “The Greatest Salesman in the World” (1968) “The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)) “Good habits once established are just as hard to break as bad habits.” -Robert Puller To rise at six, to dine at ten, To sup at six, to sleep at ten, Makes a man live for ten times ten. -Author Unknown: inscription in Victor Hugo’s study “Good habits result from resisting temptation.” -Author Unknown “A nail is driven out by another nail, habit is overcome by habit.” [English translation] “Clavus clavo pellitur, consuetudo consuetudine vincitur.” [original Latin] -Erasmus (Desiderius Gerhard Erasmus (1469 - 1536)): “Diluculum” “Old habits are strong and jealous.” -Dorothea Brande (1893 - 1948) “Habit is a cable; we weave a thread each day, and at last we cannot break it.” -Horace Mann (1796 - 1859) “Choose always the way that seems the best, however rough it may be; custom will soon render it easy and agreeable.” -Pythagoras of Samos (about 570 B.C.E. - about 496 B.C.E.): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, both Ancient and Modern” (1908), page 101 “It seems, in fact, as though the second half of a man’s life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half.” - Fyodor Dostoevsky (Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881)) “We are what we repeatedly do.” -Aristotle (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.) “A habit is something you can do without thinking - which is why most of us have so many of them.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991)) “Bad habits are easier to abandon today than tomorrow.” -Author Unknown: Yiddish proverb In ways and thoughts of weakness and of wrong, Threads turn to cords, and cords to cables strong. -Isaac Williams (1802 - 1865): “The Baptistery, Or the Way of Eternal Life” (1842 - 1844), ‘Image 18’ “Not for nothing is habit called a second and a kind of manufactured nature.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430)): “On Music” (C.E. 389), Book VI, chapter 19 Overheard: Sorry, force of habit! “Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)): “Pudd’nhead Wilson” (1894), chapter 15 epigraph: ‘Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar’ Ill habits gather by unseen degrees, As brooks make rivers, rivers run to seas. -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18)): “Metamorphoses” (about C.E. 2), Book XV: ‘The Worship of Aesculapius, lines 155 and 156; as translated by John Dryden (1700) “Make good habits and they will make you.” -Parks Cousins “Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009)) “A single bad habit will mar an otherwise faultless character, as an ink-drop soileth the pure white page.” -Hosea Ballou (1771 - 1852) Habit with him was all the test of truth; “It must be right: I’ve done it from my youth.” -George Crabbe (1754 - 1832): “The Borough” (1810), Letter 3: ‘The Vicar’ “Conquer your bad habits or they will conquer you.” -Rob Gilbert “To uproot an old habit is sometimes a more painful thing, and vastly more difficult, than to wrench out a tooth.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904): “Self-Help; with Illustrations of Character and Conduct” (1859), chapter 13: ‘Character: The True Gentleman’ “The will that yields the first time with some reluctance does so the second time with less hesitation, and the third time with none at all, until presently the habit is adopted.” -Henry Giles (1809 - 1882) “We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.” -John Dryden (1631 - 1700) “Habit is stronger than nature.” [English translation] “Consuetudo natura potentior est.” [original Latin] -Quintus Curtius Rufus: “De Rebus Gestis Alexandri Magni,” V, 5, 21 “A large part of Christian virtue consists in right habits.” -William Paley (1743 - 1805) “Habit is a compromise effected between an individual and his environment.” -Samuel Beckett (1906 - 1989): “Proust” (1930) essay “Each day, compel yourself to do something you would rather not do.” -Author Unknown “The best way to stop a bad habit is to never begin it.” -J. C. Penney (James Cash ‘J. C.’ Penney (1875 - 1971)) “First we form habits, then they form us.” -Rob Gilbert “We must make automatic and habitual, as early as possible, as many useful actions as we can.” -William James (1842 - 1910) “The habits you practice every day will make you or break you.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947)) “The secret to permanently breaking any bad habit is to love something greater than the habit.” -Bryant McGill (Bryant H. McGill (born 1969)) “Habit is, as it were, a second nature.” [English translation] “Consuetude quasi altera natura effici.” [original Latin] -Cicero (Marcus Tullius Cicero, also known as Tully (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)): “De finibus bonorum et malorum” (“On the ends of good and evil”) (45 B.C.E.) V, 25, ’Tusculanarum Disputationum,’ II, 17 “It’s not what you do once in a while, it’s what you do day in and day out that makes the difference.” -Jenny Craig (born 1932) “The worst boss anyone can have is a bad habit.” -Monta Crane (Monta Mildred Henrichs Crane (1911 - 2009)) “Every day do at least one good thing.” [English translation in English characters] “Ichi nichi, ichi zen.” [original Japanese in English characters] 「毎日少なくとも1つ良いことをする。」[original Japanese in Japanese characters] -Author Unknown: Japanese proverb “Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables.” -Author Unknown “The way you react has been repeated thousands of times, and it has become a routine for you. You are conditioned to be a certain way. And that is the challenge: to change your normal reactions, to change your routine, to take a risk and make different choices.” -Don Miguel Ruiz (pseudonym of Miguel Ángel Ruiz Macias (born 1952)) “Habit had made the custom.” [English translation] “Morem fecerat usus.” [original Latin] -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17.)): “Metamorphoses,” II, line 345 “If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always gotten.” -Jane Kirkpatrick (born 1946): “What Once We Loved” (2001) “Infinite toil would not enable you to sweep away a mist, but by ascending a little you may often look over it altogether. So it is with our moral improvement; we wrestle fiercely with a vicious habit, which could have no hold upon us if we ascended to a higher atmosphere.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875) “Habits change into character.” -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18.)) “Habits are formed by the repetition of particular acts. They are strengthened by an increase in the number of repeated acts. Habits are also weakened or broken, and contrary habits are formed, by the repetition of contrary acts.” -Mortimer J. Adler (Mortimer Jerome Adler (1902 - 2001)) “Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters.” -Nathanael Emmons (also spelled Nathaniel Emmons (1745 - 1840)) “Read something positive every night and listen to something helpful every morning.” -Tom Hopkins (born 1944) “The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt till they are too strong to be broken.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Guardian” (May 1871) magazine, volume XXII “Habit is more important in determining our destiny than almost any other influence.” -Author Unknown “Have regular hours for work and play; make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will be delightful, old age will bring few regrets, and life will become a beautiful success.” -Louisa May Alcott (1832 - 1888) “A bad habit is nothing more than a mistake repeated.” -Author Unknown “We should get into the habit of reading inspirational books, looking at inspirational pictures, hearing inspirational music, associating with inspirational friends.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997)) “Nothing is stronger than habit.” [English translation] “Nil consuetudine majus.” [original Latin] -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18.)): “Ars Amatoria,” II, line 345 “It is worth a thousand pounds a year to have the habit of looking on the bright side of things.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) “Pursuits become habits.” [English translation] “Abeunt studia in mores.” [original Latin] -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18.)): “Heroides,” XV, line 83 “It takes 3 weeks to break a habit, 6 weeks to develop a new habit, and 36 weeks to hardwire this new habit.” -Patrick Holford “The secret of your success is hidden in your daily habits.” -Mike Murdock (born 1946) “I never could have done what I have done without the habits of punctuality, order, and diligence, without the determination to concentrate myself on one subject at a time.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870)) This is MFOL! . . . if it’s getting to be a habit, at least it’s a good one!  “Don’t put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))
They said ‘procrastination’ was The source of all my sorrow I don’t know what that big word means - I’ll look it up tomorrow -Author Unknown Jimmy: Can you give me the definition of procrastination? Jenny: I will do it later. Jimmy: You are right! procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday -Don Marquis (Donald Robert Perry ‘Don’ Marquis (1878 - 1937)): “the lives and times of archy & mehitabel” (1940), using lower case letters and no punctuation, in the style of the fictional writer character he created “Procrastination makes easy things hard, hard things harder.” -Mason Cooley (1927 - 2002) “Slaying the dragon of delay is no sport for the short-winded.” -Sandra Day O’Connor (born 1930) “Procrastination is not laziness,” I tell him. “It is fear. Call it by its right name, and forgive yourself.” -Julia Cameron (Julia B. Cameron (born 1948)): “The Prosperous Heart” (2012) “It was my fear of failure that first kept me from attempting the master work. Now, I’m beginning what I could have started ten years ago. But I’m happy at least that I didn’t wait twenty years.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947) “Join the circus of chaos . . . juggling, stilt walking, and other skills for socially acceptable procrastination.” -Pat Murphy (Patrice Ann ‘Pat’ Murphy (born 1955)) “Every duty which is bidden to wait, returns with seven fresh duties at its back.” -Charles Kingsley (1819 - 1875): “Sermons for the Times” (1855) “In delay there lies no plenty.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616) Overheard: I bought a book titled “How to Stop Procrastinating,” and I have promised myself that someday, I am going to actually read it. “Do not put your work off till tomorrow and the day after; for a sluggish worker does not fill his barn.” -Hesiod (about 800 B.C.E. - about 720 B.C.E.) “When we procrastinate, we also put a hold on happiness.” -Charles F. Glassman “I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator . . . I can put off all kinds of things at once.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow. Delay may give clearer light as to what is best to be done.” -Aaron Burr (Aaron Burr, Junior (1756 - 1836)): as quoted in Jacob Morton Braude: “The Complete Art of Public Speaking” (1970), page 84 “Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.” -Stephen King (born 1947) “The dread of doing a task uses up more time and energy than doing the task itself.” -Rita Emmett (1943 - 2019) “Things dreaded require double time to accomplish them.” -James Lendall Basford (1845 - 1915) “If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.” -Ivan Turgenev (Ivan Sergeyevich Turgenev (1818 - 1883)) “Begin while others are procrastinating. Work while others are wishing.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994)) “If you wait until all the lights are ‘green’ before you leave home, you’ll never get started on your trip to the top.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012)) “KISS Procrastination Away: Keep It Super Simple, Keep It Step-by-Step, Keep It Scheduled and Systematic.” -Lisa A. Mininni (Lisa Ann Mininni (born 1954)) “How soon ‘not now’ becomes ‘never’.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546) “Doing just a little bit during the time we have available puts you that much further ahead than if you took no action at all.” -Byron Pulsifer (Byron R. Pulsifer), website https://www.quoteschristian.com “Someday is not a day of the week.” -Janet Dailey (Janet Anne Haradon Dailey (1944 - 2013)) “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” -Anne Frank (1929 - 1945): “The Diary of a Young Girl” (1952) Lose This Day Loitering Lose this day loitering - ‘twill be the same story To-morrow - and the next more dilatory; Each indecision brings its own delays, And days are lost lamenting o’er lost days, Are you in earnest? Seize this very minute - Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Only engage, and then the mind grows heated - Begin it, and then the work will be completed! by Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe (1749 - 1832): “Faust,” Part 1 (1808) and Part 2 (1832) Overheard: Some tasks have to be put off dozens of times before they will completely slip your mind. “Things don’t get any easier by putting them off.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)): “The Razor’s Edge” (1943) Shun delays, they breed remorse; Take thy time while time is lent thee; Creeping snails have weakest force, Fly their fault lest thou repent thee. Good is best when soonest wrought, Linger’d labours come to nought. -Robert Southwell (1561 - 1595): “Loss in Delay”; as quoted in William B. Turnbull, editor: “The Poetical Works of the Rev. Robert Southwell” (1856) “I’m very busy doing things I don’t need to do in order to avoid anything I’m actually supposed to be doing.” -Author Unknown “Do you know what happens when you give a procrastinator a good idea? Nothing!” -Donald Gardner “Waiting to develop courage is just another form of procrastination. We must take action while we’re afraid.” -Author Unknown “A procrastinator’s work is never done.” -Author Unknown “Getting an idea should be like sitting on a pin; it should make you jump up and do something.” -E. L. Simpson “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.” -Thomas Draxe (birth year unknown - 1618): “Adages” (1616) “Remember, action today can prevent a crisis tomorrow.” -Steve Shallenberger (Steven R. Shallenberger (born 1958)): “Becoming Your Best: The 12 Principles of Highly Successful Leaders” (2014) “What is deferred is not avoided.” -Thomas More (1478 - 1535): “Utopia” (1516) Procrastination is the thief of time: Year after year it steals, till all are fled, And to the mercies of a moment leaves The vast concerns of an eternal scene. -Edward Young (1683 - 1765): “Night Thoughts” (1742 - 1745), line 393 “Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870)) “Procrastination is a road-block in the path of success.” -Author Unknown “The habit of always putting off an experience until you can afford it, or until the time is right, or until you know how to do it, is one of the greatest burglars of joy. Be deliberate, but once you’ve made up your mind - jump in.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934)): “Living on the Ragged Edge” (1985), page 110 “Often greater risk is involved in postponement than in making a wrong decision.” -Harry A. Hopf (Harry Arthur Hopf (1882 - 1949)) “Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow.” -Gerald Vaughan “One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955))): “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” (1948) “I’m going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!” -Sam Levenson (Samuel ‘Sam’ Levenson (1911 - 1980)) “What may be done at any Time will be done at no Time.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 5500 “Procrastination is a teardrop in the sands of time.” -Heath Byers “One of these days is none of these days.” -H. G. Bohn (Henry George Bohn (1796 - 1884)) “If you procrastinate when faced with a big, difficult problem . . . break the problem into parts, and handle one part at a time.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950) “It has been a productive day - I got a lot of procrastinating accomplished.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “The man who will not act until he knows all will never act at all . . .” -Jim Elliot (1927 - 1956) “Procrastination usually results in sorrowful regret. Today’s duties put off until tomorrow give us a double burden to bear; the best way is to do them in their proper time.” -Ida Scott Taylor (Ida Scott Taylor McKinney (1855 - 1932)) “The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.” -Richard Cushing (Richard James Cushing (1895 - 1970)) “There are those of us who are always about to live. We are waiting until things change, until there is more time, until we are less tired, until we get a promotion, until we settle down - until, until, until. It always seems as if there is some major event that must occur in our lives before we begin living.” -George Sheehan (1918 - 1993) “One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947) Defer not till to-morrow to be wise, To-morrow’s Sun to thee may never rise. -William Congreve (1670 - 1729): “Letter to Cobham,” line 61 “Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon ‘Napoleon’ Hill (1883 - 1970)) “Putting off an easy thing makes it hard. Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible.” -George Claude Lorimer (1838 - 1904): as quoted in George Horace Lorimer (1867 - 1937): “Letters from a Self-Made Merchant to His Son” (1902), ‘June 25, 189-,’ page 48 “While we are postponing, life speeds by.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4 B.C.E. - C.E. 65)) “I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument, while the song I came to sing remains unsung.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941) “You can’t get much done in life if you only work on the days when you feel good.” -Jerry Alan West (Jerome ‘Jerry’ Alan West (born 1938)) “Postpone not a good action.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb “If you put off everything till you’re sure of it, you’ll never get anything done.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993) All the Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas Layin’ in the Sun, Talkin’ bout the things They woulda-coulda-shoulda done . . . But those Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas All ran away and hid From one little did. -Shel Silverstein (Sheldon Allan ‘Shel’ Silverstein (1930 - 1999)): “Falling Up” (1996) “Let’s get started while we’re still young!” -Author Unknown: comment made by a man who was seventy-five years of age “By the street of By-and-By, one arrives at the House of Never.” -Miguel de Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1547 - 1616)): “Don Quixote” (1605) “I don’t wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has got to get down to work.” -Pearl S. Buck (Pearl Sydenstricker Buck (1892 - 1973)) Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter, who? Butter late than never! “Don’t put off for tomorrow what you should do today.” -Aesop: “The Grasshopper and the Ants” (about 6th century B.C.E.) “By one delay after another they spin out their whole lives, till there’s no more future left for them.” -Roger L’Estrange (1616 - 1704) “Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970)) “He who hesitates is last.” -Mae West “If you have goals and procrastination, you have nothing. If you have goals and you take action, you will have anything you want.” -Thomas J. Vilord (Thomas Joseph Vilord (born 1975)) “Always put off till tomorrow what you should not do at all.” -Author Unknown “A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.” -Hunter S. Thompson (Hunter Stockton Thompson (1937 - 2005)): “The Proud Highway” (1997) “Following through is the only thing that separates dreamers from people that accomplish great things.” -Gene Hayden “If and When were planted, and Nothing grew.” -Catherine Pulsifer (born 1927): “If and When,” website https://www.quoteschristian.com “There is no avoidance in delay.” -Aeschylus (about 525 B.C.E. - about 456 B.C.E.): “Agamemnon” (about 458 B.C.E.) “Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.” -Robert Benchley (Robert Charles Benchley (1889 - 1945)): as quoted in Robert E. Drennan, editor: “The Algonquin Wits” (1968) “If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.” -Rita Mae Brown (born 1944) Overheard: I am just waiting to do my work at the last minute, because by then I will be older and wiser. “Often just by taking action, by doing something about the situation, you can relieve the stress and help correct the situation.” -Catherine Pulsifer (born 1927), website https://www.quoteschristian.com “He who begun has half done. Dare to be wise; begin.” -Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)) “The really happy people are those who have broken the chains of procrastination, those who find satisfaction in doing the job at hand. They’re full of eagerness, zest, productivity. You can be, too.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993) This is MFOL! . . . by choosing to make ‘someday’ into ‘today,’ we can make the future even greater than the present . . .  “I’ve always had the feeling that nothing is impossible if one applies a certain amount of energy in the right direction. If you want to do it, you can do it.” -Nellie Bly (pseudonym of Elizabeth Cochrane Seaman (1864 - 1922)) “Impossible things are simply those which so far have never been done.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)) “You can’t pick a lock with a pickle, you can’t cure the sick with a sickle, pluck figs with a figment, drive pigs with a pigment, nor make your watch tick with a tickle. You can’t slacken your gait with a gaiter, you can’t get a crate with a crater, catch moles with a molar, or bake rolls with a roller. But you can get a wait from a waiter.” -Author Unknown: in “Sunshine Magazine” “Never let the word ‘impossible’ stop you from pursuing what your heart and spirit urge you to do. Impossible things come true every day.” -Robert Cooper “We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” -Vince Lombardi (Vincent Thomas Lombardi (1913 - 1970)) “Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.” -Author Unknown “I’m always doing what I cannot do yet, in order to learn how to do it.” -Vincent van Gogh (Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 - 1890)): letter (1885) to Anthon van Rappard “When work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible.” -Nancy Coey “The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible.” -Richard M. DeVos (Richard Marvin DeVos, Senior (1926 - 2018)) “I have learned to use the word ‘impossible’ with the greatest caution.” -Wernher von Braun (Wernher Magnus Maximilian, Freiherr von Braun (1912 - 1977)) “I believe anything is possible. Research into quantum physics proves that a system changes simply by someone observing it. Therefore, all you have to do is be awake and aware of your environment, and that enables you to transform everything around you. It sounds like hocus pocus, but scientists are coming to realize that just thinking about something can make it happen. Turns out maybe faith can move mountains.” -Christine Anderson “Most of the things worth doing in the world were said to be impossible before they were done.” -Louis Brandeis (Louis Dembitz Brandeis (1856 - 1941)) “Things that are impossible just take longer.” -Ian Hickson “Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.” -Doug Larson (1902 - 1981) “Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said. ‘One can’t believe impossible things.’ ‘I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it half an hour a day. Why, sometimes, I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.’” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Through the Looking-Glass” (1872), chapter 5 “What is impossible today that if made possible would change everything?” -Joel Barker “If you develop the absolute sense of certainty that powerful beliefs provide, then you can get yourself to accomplish virtually anything, including those things that other people are certain are impossible.” -William L. Phelps (William Lyon Phelps (1865 - 1943)) “The difficult is what takes a little time; the impossible is what takes a little longer.” -Fridtjof Nansen (1861 - 1930): as quoted in the “Listener” (14 December 1939) “The impossible is often the untried.” -Jim Goodwin “It is our duty as human beings to proceed as though the limits of our capabilities do not exist.” -Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (1881 - 1955) “Impossible: Something that nobody can do - until somebody does it!” -Author Unknown “We have no limits - we create them in our mind.” -Bud LaBranche “The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.” -Arthur C. Clarke (Arthur Charles Clarke (1917 - 2008)) “Yes, you can be a dreamer and a doer too, if you will remove one word from your vocabulary: impossible.” -Robert Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015)) “There is nothing impossible to him who will try.” -Alexander of Macedonia (also known as Alexander the Great (356 B.C.E. - 323 B.C.E.)) “Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.” -John Heywood (about 1497 - 1580): “Proverbs” (1546)  “The impossible is possible if you want it to be.” -Author Unknown “Nothing is impossible.” -Author Unknown “Everything is always impossible before it works.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965) “What we need are more people who specialize in the impossible.” -Theodore Roethke (1908 - 1963) “Nothing is impossible; the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993) “You can do the impossible, because you have been through the unimaginable.” -Christina Rasmussen (born 1972) “When someone tells you that you can’t do something, perhaps you should consider that they are only telling you what they can’t do.” -Sheldon Cahoon “Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” -Francis of Assisi (1181 - 1226) “It is impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy.” -Howard Murray “It is the act of a madman to pursue impossibilities.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180)) “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” -Author Unknown “Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” -Jamie Paolinetti (born 1964) “It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.” -Robert H. Goddard (Robert Hutchings ‘Bob’ Goddard (1882 - 1945)) “There is no limitation other than what you think.” -Kenneth Mills “You have to believe in the impossible.” -Howard Head “To get profit without risk, experience without danger, and reward without work is as impossible as it is to live without being born.” -A. P. Gouthey (Aldolph Philip Gouthey (some sources may show Adolph Philip Gouthey) (1892 - 1963)) “All things are possible until they are proved impossible and even the impossible may only be so, as of now.” -Pearl S. Buck (Pearl Sydenstricker Buck (1892 - 1973)): “A Bridge for Passing” (1962) “You cannot make a silk purse of a sow’s ear.” -Stephen Gosson (1554 - 1624): “The Ephemerides of Phialo” (1579) “So many things are possible just as long as you don’t know they’re impossible.” -Norton Juster (born 1929): “The Phantom Tollbooth” (1961) “To believe a Business impossible, is the Way to make it so.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 5138 “A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” -Walter Bagehot (1826 - 1877) “If you will tell me why the fen* appears impassable, I then will tell you why I think that I can cross it if I try.” -Marianne Moore (1887 - 1972) *fen: a wetland or often flooded area. “Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.” -George Santayana (1863 - 1952) “Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.” -Author Unknown: Adidas print advertisement published in “ESPN” (1972) magazine, as attributed in John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947)): “The Difference Maker” (2006), page 53 “Don’t undertake a project unless it is manifestly important and nearly impossible.” -Edwin Land “Ordinary people believe only in the possible. Extraordinary people visualize not what is possible or probable, but rather what is impossible. And by visualizing the impossible, they begin to see it as possible.” -Cherie Carter-Scott (born 1949) “Anything in life is possible if you make it happen. And it’s never too late.” -Jack LaLanne (François Henri ’Jack’ LaLanne (1914 - 2011)) “What is now proven was once only imagined.” -William Blake (1757 - 1827): “Proverbs of Hell” (1790 - 1793) “To the timid and hesitating everything is impossible because it seems so.” -Walter Scott “Nothing is impossible to industry*.” -Periander (about 625 B.C.E. - 585 B.C.E.) *industry: hard work. “Impossibility simply means ‘I’m possibility.’” -Monsieur Nana Adom “When someone tells you it can’t be done, it’s more a reflection of their limitations, not yours.” -Author Unknown “Nothing is impossible: there are ways which lead to everything; and if we had sufficient will we should always have sufficient means. It is often merely for an excuse that we say things are impossible.” -François de La Rochefoucauld (also known as François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)) “Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.” -Author Unknown “There are many things that seem impossible only so long as one does not attempt them.” -André Gide (André Paul Guillaume Gide (1869 - 1951)) “Impossible is only an opinion.” -Author Unknown “Never tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the Moon.” -Paul Brandt “What ‘exists’ is only a small part of what is ‘possible.’” -Pere Alberch (born Pere Alberch Vie (1954 - 1998)) “Jesus said unto him, ‘If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.’” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Mark,’ chapter 9, verse 23  “Do not suppose that, if you find something hard to achieve, it is beyond human capacity; rather, if something is possible and appropriate for man, assume that it must also be within your own reach.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180)): “The Meditations” (C.E. 167)
“Think of the thing you cannot do, and then do it.” -Author Unknown “Every noble work is at first impossible.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881) “It’s going to be difficult, but difficult is not impossible.” -Author Unknown “Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities - always see them, for they’re always there.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993) “Either I will find a way, or I will make one.” -Philip Sidney (1554 - 1586) “Most of the things worth doing in the world have been declared impossible before they were attempted.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989) “The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man’s determination.” -Tommy Lasorda (Thomas Charles Lasorda (born 1927)) “It is certain because it is impossible.” [English translation] “Certum est quia impossibile.” [original Latin] -Quintus Septimius Florens Tertullianus (also known simply as Tertullian (C.E. 155 - C.E. 240)) “Nothing is impossible to the man who can will and then do; this is the only law of success.” -Mirabeau (Honoré Gabriel Riqueti, Count of Mirabeau (1749 - 1791)) “All big things in this world are done by people who are naive and have an idea that is obviously impossible.” -Frank Richards “There is a better way to spell ‘impossible’: ‘I’m possible.’” -Author Unknown “I dwell in possibility.” -Emily Dickinson (1830 - 1886) “Few things are impossible to diligence and skill.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): “Rasselas” (1759) “We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934)) “Once you stop dismissing something as unattainable, then you start working on its development.” -Jerome Pearson “The most rewarding things you do in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done.” -Arnold Palmer (Arnold Daniel Palmer (1929 - 2016)) “You can’t roller-skate in a buffalo herd, but you can be happy if you’ve a mind to.” -Roger Miller We are MFOL! . . . wishing you many trouble-free days as you make your way through a world in which more and more is possible all the time . . .  “There is always something to be happy about.” -Author Unknown Cheerfulness I’m glad the sky is painted blue And the Earth is painted green And such a lot of nice fresh air All sandwiched in between. by Author Unknown “On the whole, the happiest people seem to be those who have no particular cause for being happy except that they are so.” -William R. Inge (William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954)) “A happy life is built up of little clumps of violets noticed along the roadside.” -Author Unknown “The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719): as quoted in Tryon Edwards: “A Dictionary of Thoughts” (1908), page 217 “You have it easily in your power to increase the total sum of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955))) “Happiness is a choice.” -Barry Neill Kaufman (born 1942), website: http://www.barryneilkaufman.com/ “Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.” -Aeschylus (about 525 B.C.E. - about 456 B.C.E.): “Agamemnon,” 928 “Happiness seems made to be shared.” [English translation] “Le bonheur semble fait pour être partagé.” [original French] -Pierre Corneille (1606 - 1684): “Notes par Rochefoucauld” “Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect; it just means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.” -Author Unknown “Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it.” -Jacques Prévert (1900 - 1977) “Happiness walks on busy feet.” -Kitte Turmell “A lot of happiness is overlooked because it doesn’t cost anything.” -Author Unknown “Whoever is happy will make others happy too.” -Anne Frank (1929 - 1945): “The Diary of a Young Girl” (1952) “It’s being so cheerful as keeps me going.” -Mona Lott’s catchphrase on “ITMA” (1939 - 1949), a BBC radio program; Mona Lott is a fictional character portrayed by Joan Harben (1909 - 1953) “Happiness is not perfected until it is shared.” -Jane Porter (1776 - 1850) “Not only is there a right to be happy, there is a duty to be happy. So much sadness exists in the world that we are all under obligation to contribute as much joy as lies within our powers.” -John Sutherland Bonnell (1893 - 1992) “Happiness will bring you good luck.” -Author Unknown: fortune cookie saying “Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009)) “Look at the trees, look at the birds, look at the clouds, look at the stars . . . and if you have eyes you will be able to see that the whole existence is joyful. Everything is simply happy. Trees are happy for no reason; they are not going to become prime ministers or presidents and they are not going to become rich and they will never have any bank balance. Look at the flowers - for no reason. It is simply unbelievable how happy flowers are.” -Osho (Rajneesh Chandra Mohan Jain) “Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” -Teresa of Calcutta (also known as Mother Teresa (1910 - 1997)) “Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies.” -Gene Hill (Gene Atkins Hill (1928 - 1997)) “Happiness! Can any human being undertake to define it for another?” -Dinah Craik (Dinah Maria Craik (1826 - 1887)): “A Woman’s Thoughts about Women” (1858), Chapter 10 “Happiness is a direction, not a destination.” -Author Unknown “I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.” -Martha Washington (1731 - 1802) “Happiness is a way-station between too little and too much.” -Channing Pollock (1880 - 1946) “To me there is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” -Robert Louis Stevenson (Robert Louis Balfour Stevenson (1850 - 1894)) “How true it is that, if we are cheerful and contented, all nature smiles, the air seems more balmy, the sky clearer, the Earth has a brighter green . . . the flowers are more fragrant . . . and the Sun, Moon, and stars all appear more beautiful, and seem to rejoice with us.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924)) “True happiness consists in making others happy.” -Author Unknown Happiness: hap-pi-ness, ha-pē-nǝs, noun. A mental state of well-being characterized by positive emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. “Happiness is in the heart, not in circumstances or in things.” -Author Unknown “Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.” -William Cowper (1731 - 1800): “Task,” book III, line 41 “Folks are generally as happy as they make up their minds to be.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) “Happiness belongs to those who are sufficient unto themselves. For all external sources of happiness and pleasure, are by their very nature, highly uncertain, precarious, ephemeral, and subject to chance.” -Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860)  Do more of what makes you happy . . . like writing messages on foggy windows and sandy beaches.
“Spread happiness; a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” -Author Unknown “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180)) “Jumping for joy is good exercise.” -Author Unknown “Happiness doesn’t depend on what we have, but it does depend on how we feel toward what we have. We can be happy with little and miserable with much.” -William Dempster Hoard (1836 - 1918) “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” -Author Unknown: “Holy Bible,” (King James Version (1611)), ‘The Book of Proverbs,’ chapter 17, verse 22 “There is no happiness except in the realization that we have accomplished something.” -Henry Ford (1863 - 1947) “Happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it is too late.” -Robert R. Updegraff (Robert Rawls Updegraff (1889 - 1977)) “Cheerful people, the doctors say, resist disease better than glum people. In other words, ‘The surly bird catches the germ.’” -Author Unknown “We deem those happy who, from the experience of life, have learned to bear its ills, without being overcome by them.” [English translation] “Ducimus autem hos quoque felices, qui ferre incommoda vitæ, nec jactare jugum vita didicere magistra.” [original Latin] -Juvenal (Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis (about C.E. 55 - C.E. 130)): “Satires,” XII, 20 “Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor ‘Eleanor’ Roosevelt (1884 - 1962)) “The greatest happiness is to be that which one is.” -Theodore Herzl (1860 - 1904) “He is happy that knoweth not himself to be otherwise.” -Thomas Fuller (1608 - 1661) “The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime.” -Author Unknown “Now and then, it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” -Guillaume Apollinaire (Wilhelm Apollinaris de Dostrowitsky (1880 - 1918)) “Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling.” -Margaret Runbeck (Margaret Lee Runbeck (1900 - 1956)): “Time for Each Other” (1944) “A single joy can scatter a hundred griefs.” -Author Unknown “The great end of all human industry is the attainment of happiness. For this were arts invented, sciences cultivated, laws ordained, and societies modelled, by the most profound wisdom of patriots and legislators. Even the lonely savage, who lies exposed to the inclemency of the elements and the fury of wild beasts, forgets not, for a moment, this grand object, of his being.” -David Hume (1711 - 1776): “The Stoic,” ‘Essays, Moral, Political and Literary,’ part 1, essay 16, as published in “The Philosophical Works of David Hume” (1826), volume 3, page 167 “The happy people are those who are producing something; the bored people are those who are consuming much and producing nothing.” -William R. Inge (William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954)) “We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” -Frederick Koenig (Friedrich Gottlob Koenig (1774 - 1833)) “A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.” -Hugh Downs (Hugh Malcolm Downs (born 1921)): as quoted in Roy B. Zuck: “The Speaker’s Quote Book: Over 4,500 Illustrations” (1997), page 185 “The path to cheerfulness is to sit cheerfully and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there.” -William James (1842 - 1910) “I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1788)) “Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.” -Steve Maraboli (born 1975) “A light heart lives long.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616) “What is happiness and unhappiness? It depends so little on the circumstances; it depends really only on what happens inside a person. I am grateful for every day . . . and that makes me happy.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906 - 1945) “The happiest people are the ones who make others happy.” -Author Unknown “There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.” -George Sand (pseudonym of Amandine-Aurore-Lucile Dupin (1804 - 1876)) “When you seek happiness for others, you will find it for yourself.” -Lori Moreno “The happiest people are those who think the most interesting thoughts. Those who decide to use leisure as a means of mental development, who love good music, good books, good pictures, good company, good conversation, are the happiest people in the world. And they are not only happy in themselves, they are the cause of happiness in others.” - William L. Phelps (William Lyon Phelps (1865 - 1943)) “Resolve to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845) “I do not know of any sure way of making others happy as being so oneself.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875) “Be happy. It’s one way of being wise.” -Sidonie Gabrielle Colette (1873 - 1954) “The joy that you give to others is the joy that comes back to you.” -John Greenleaf Whittier (1807 - 1892) “Happiness is no laughing matter.” -Richard Whately (1787 - 1863): “Apophthegms” (1854) “You cannot always have happiness, but you can always give happiness.” -Author Unknown “Happiness lies, first of all, in health.” -George William Curtis (1824 - 1892) “There is only one real happiness in life, and that is the happiness of creating.” -Frederick Delius (1862 - 1934) “In whatever situation we are placed, our greater or less degree of happiness must be derived from ourselves. Happiness is in a great measure the result of our own dispositions and actions.” -Hannah Webster Foster (about 1758 - 1840) “Happiness is not a matter of events; it depends upon the tides of the mind.” -Alice Meynell (1847 - 1922) “The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.” -William Morris (1834 - 1896) “An effort made for the happiness of others lifts us above ourselves.” -Lydia M. Child (Lydia Maria Francis Child (1802 - 1880)) “Happiness is not an ideal of reason but of imagination.” -Immanuel Kant (1724 - 1804): “Fundamental Principles of the Metaphysics of Ethics” (1785) “If you do not have the capacity for happiness with a little money, great wealth will not bring it to you.” -William Feather (William Arthur Feather (1889 - 1981)): “The Business of Life” (1949) Affirmation: I choose happiness. “The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions - the little soon-forgotten charities of a kiss, a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment in the disguise of a playful raillery, and the countless other infinitesimal of pleasurable thought and genial feeling.” -Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834) “Happiness is not a possession to be prized, it is a quality of thought, a state of mind.” -Daphne du Maurier (1907 - 1989) “It is the inalienable right of all to be happy.” -Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815 - 1902) (1861) “Happiness is surely the best teacher of good manners: only the unhappy are churlish in deportment.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)): “Where the Blue Begins” (1922) “The happy man is not he who seems thus to others, but who seems thus to himself.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.) “Some pursue happiness, while others create it.” -Author Unknown “There are only two roads that lead to something like human happiness. They are marked by the words: love and achievement . . . In order to be happy oneself it is necessary to make at least one other person happy . . . The secret of human happiness is not in self-seeking but in self-forgetting.” -Theodore Reik “Happiness is the atmosphere in which all things grow.” -Author Unknown We are MFOL! . . . spread the merriment . . .  Chuckles the Clown: Why did Jolly the Clown cross the road? Giggles the Clown: To be funny on the other side! Baggy Trousers Baggy trousers Nose, bright red, A silly hat Upon his head. Squirting flower Spinning tie, A teardrop falling From his eye. Elastic braces Going twang, His car exploding With a bang! A patchwork coat Those flapping shoes, A painted smile To chase the blues. Making us laugh And banish that frown, The simple duties Of a clown. by Pip the Clown (written for Bluey the Clown)  True clowns bring happiness wherever they are seen, and not the horrors of the creepy clowns that make people fearful or the depression of the sad clowns that make people feel bad. True clowns perform for the benefit of others; they give joy. Send in the happy clowns! “Yesterday, a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.” -Author Unknown Peachy the Clown: How does Jokey the Clown like her eggs? Pinky the Clown: Funny side up! The word ‘clown’ is possibly derived from the Icelandic word ‘klunni’ meaning ‘clumsy person.’ Laughy the Clown: Why does Snoozy the Clown wear loud socks? Smiley the Clown: So his feet won’t fall asleep! There are believed to be more than 20,000 clowns in the world today. The most famous ones have their faces painted onto chicken eggs or goose eggs, which are then displayed in collections in the United Kingdom and the United States of America. The tradition was started in the United Kingdom in about 1946. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO A Prayer for Clowns God bless all clowns Who star in the world with laughter Who ring the rafters with flying jest, Who make the world spin merry on its way And somehow add more beauty to each day. God bless all clowns So poor the world would be Lacking their piquant, hilarity, The belly laughs, the ringing lovely mirth That makes a friendly place of Earth. God bless all clowns - Give them a long good life. Make bright their way - they’re a breed apart! Alchemists most, who turn their hearts’ pain Into a dazzling jest to lift the heart. God bless all clowns. by Author Unknown OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO The nickname for a clown is a Joey, after the English actor, comedian, dancer, and pantomime performer Joseph Grimaldi (1778 - 1837). “But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.” -Carl Sagan  If you’ve ever wondered what’s inside the really big clown shoes . . . well, now you know! National Clown Week was signed into law on 2 August 1971 by American President Richard Milhous Nixon. It has since become International Clown Week, and is observed from 1 August to 7 August of every year. There are too many different types of clowns to list them all, but here are a few of them - - Birthday party clowns - Carnival clowns - Circus clowns - Commercial clowns - Event clowns - Random clowns - Rodeo clowns - Street performer clowns - Visiting clowns What kind of clown would you like to be? In the early 1970’s, an American doctor named Hunter Doherty ‘Patch’ Adams started the practice of clowning for patients in hospitals, which helps patients recover faster and lightens the gloominess often associated with hospital stays.  Signs That You Might Be a Clown - You attract crowds wherever you go. - People compliment you on your big shoes, bright-red nose, and painted-on smile. - You share your ‘home on wheels’ with a trained seal, a fortune teller, a trapeze artist, and a magician. - You spend every free minute practicing your routine - in fact, you do not have a moment to spare in your life. - You have been to more birthday parties than the “Happy Birthday” song has. - You put sprinkles on everything: ice cream, chicken soup, oatmeal - and you have even thought about putting sprinkles on sprinkles. - Even your name draws smiles and laughs. - You will cry yourself to sleep tonight because you think you did not make enough people happy today. - When someone says he would like to be clown, you are tempted to tell the person, “You might think that being a clown is just fun all day, but many hours of hard work go with the job.” But you don’t, and instead, you do something silly. - You cannot imagine any other kind of life. Are you a clown? Are you a clown costume maker? Are you a clown school operator? Do you write skits for clowns? Are you a talent agent who helps clowns find gigs? Do you make portrait paintings of clowns? Do you sell clown supplies? Are you in any way associated with clowning and clowns? If so, you probably need a website to let people know. Visit www.Weebly.com to find out how you can make a website without a whole lot of difficulty or cost. Be sure to let them know you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.  A big part of the rodeo clowns’ job is to distract agitated beasts so that thrown horse riders and thrown bull riders can make it to safety without being trampled, chomped, butted, or gored by the animals. Rodeo clowns also do comedy routines to keep crowds entertained between competitions. If you feel comfortable around large animals and you know something about animal nature, and if you want to live a life of danger and have people laugh at you, become a rodeo clown! Margaret: What protects clowns from the sun? Maggie: The Bozone layer! Holy Trinity Church in London, England is dedicated to clowns. The church has a stained-glass window depicting Joseph Grimaldi, who was a major influence on modern clowning. It also has an altar rail where clowns can kneel and pray, and a clowns gallery with items from famous clowns. Once a year, clowns from all over the world attend Holy Trinity Church in makeup and costume for a special service, asking God’s blessing on all clowns everywhere. Holy Trinity Church is in a section of London described as economically depressed, and the citizens are pleased that clowns have their church in an area where laughter is needed the most. A Clown’s Blessing May your nose be red and shiny, And your smile always bright. May your cheeks be nice and rosy, Your eyes sparkle in the light. May your shoes be always too big, Your costume be perma-pressed, Your heart overflow with laughter, Each time you’re clownishly dressed. May face paint be at the ready, And your balloons be ‘easy-blow.’ May children run to greet you, Wherever you may go. by Author Unknown  Sunny the Clown: Where was Jelly the Clown when the lights went out?
Sparkles the Clown: In the dark! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO The Clown’s Prayer As I stumble through this life, help me to create more laughter than tears, dispense more happiness than gloom, spread more cheer than despair. Never let me become so indifferent that I will fail to see the wonders in the eyes of a child, or the twinkle in the eyes of the aged. Never let me forget that my total effort is to cheer people, make them happy, and forget momentarily, all the unpleasantness in their lives. And in my final moment, may I hear You whisper: “When you made My people smile, you made Me smile.” by Author Unknown OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Anna: Which clown wears the biggest shoes? Hannah: The one with the biggest feet, of course! Now back to even more clowning around . . . on MFOL!  “If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” -Thomas Edison (Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931))
“The undertaking of a new action brings new strength.” -Evenius (42 B.C.E. - C.E. 13) “We are built to conquer environment, solve problems, achieve goals; and we find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975): “Psycho-Cybernetics” (1960) “The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009)) “There are generations yet unborn whose very lives will be shifted and shaped by the moves you make and the actions you take today.” -Andy Andrews (born 1959): “The Butterfly Effect: How Your Life Matters” (September 2009) There are three ways to get things done: 1. Do it yourself. 2. Hire someone to do it. 3. Forbid your children to do it. -Author Unknown “If you limit your actions in life to things that nobody can possibly find fault with, you will not do much.” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)) “Whatever you want to do, do it now. There are only so many tomorrows.” -Michael Landon (born Eugene Michael Orowitz (1936 - 1991)) “The smallest action is better than the largest plan.” -John Graves (John Alexander Graves (1920 - 2013)) “Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t.” -Jerry Rice (Jerry Lee Rice, Senior (born 1962)) “Reality is not the same to the doer as it is to the sayer.” -Haki R. Madhubuti (born 1942 as Don Luther Lee) “If we are ever in doubt about what to do, it is a good rule to ask ourselves what we shall wish on the morrow that we had done.” -John Lubbock (1834 - 1913) “‘ACT’ is an acronym standing for ‘Action Changes Things.’” -Author Unknown “Whatever you do, do it with all your might. Work at it, early and late, in season and out of season, not leaving a stone unturned, and never deferring for a single hour that which can be done just as well now.” -P. T. Barnum (Phineas Taylor Barnum (1810 - 1891)) “Actions speak louder than words.” -Author Unknown “They can because they think they can.” -Vergil (Publius Vergilius Maro, also known as Virgil (70 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.)) “Some men have thousands of reasons why they cannot do what they want to, when all they need is one reason why they can.” -Willis Whitney (Willis Rodney Whitney (1868 - 1958)) “Deeds not words.” -Author Unknown “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955)) “Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned.” -Peter Marshall (1902 - 1949) “Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late.” -Marie Beynon Ray (1886 - 1969) “Doing is better than saying.” -Thomas Draxe (unknown - 1618) “The price of inaction is far greater than the cost of making a mistake.” -Meister Eckhart (Eckhart von Hochheim (1260 - 1327)) “If you want a thing done well, do it yourself.” -Author Unknown: French proverb “Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993) “It is time for us all to stand and cheer for the doer, the achiever - the one who recognizes the challenge and does something about it.” -Vince Lombardi (Vincent Thomas ‘Vince’ Lombardi (1913 - 1970)) “I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts.” -John Locke (1632 - 1704): “An Essay Concerning Human Understanding” (1690) “Never undertake anything for which you wouldn’t have the courage to ask the blessings of Heaven.” -G. C. Lichtenberg (Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799)) “It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little. Do what you can.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845) “The best time to do a thing is when it can be done.” -William Pickens (1881 - 1954): “Fifty Years after Emancipation” (1912) “Action is the foundational key to all success.” -Pablo Picasso (Pablo Diego Jose Francisco do Paula Juan Nepomuceno Cipriano de la Santissima Trinidad (1881 - 1971)) “Heaven never helps the man who will not act.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.) “I move forward in my life every day, even if it’s only a tiny step, because I know that great things are accomplished with tiny moves, but nothing is accomplished by standing still.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012)) “Do lovely things, not dream them, all day long.” -Charles Kingsley (1819 - 1875): “Andromeda and Other Poems” (1858), ‘A Farewell to C. E. G.’ “Many people carry a Can’t Do It List around in their heads as they travel on their journey in life, and it becomes their guide for every decision in their lives and for every moment they are alive and awake. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if that list were transformed into a Possibilities List, or a Things to Try List?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “What you do every day should contribute to giving your life meaning. If it doesn’t, why are you doing it?” -Don Hutcheson (Don ‘Hutch’ Hutcheson) “Good intentions are not enough. They’ve never put an onion in the soup yet.” -Sonya Levien (born Sara Opesken (1888 - 1960)) “In doing we learn.” -George Herbert (1593 - 1633) Throw away your wishbone, Straighten up your backbone, Stick out your jawbone, And go to it! -Author Unknown “If you don’t have time to do it right, you must have time to do it over.” -Author Unknown “The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are, the more leisure we have.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830) Out of the strain of the Doing, Into the peace of the Done. -Julia Louise Woodruff (Julia Louise Matilda Woodruff (1832 - 1909)): ‘Harvest Home’ poem published in “Sunday at Home” (1910) magazine “What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900) “Never mistake motion for action.” -Ernest Hemingway (Ernest Miller Hemingway (1899 - 1961)) “Every living creature that comes into the world has something allotted to him to perform, therefore he should not stand an idle spectator of what others are doing.” -Sarah Kirby Trimmer (1741 - 1810): “Fabulous Histories” (1821) “The deeds you do today may be the only sermon some people will hear today.” - Francis of Assisi (1181 - 1226) “The world is blessed most by men who do things and not by those who merely talk about them.” -James Oliver “Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)) “Be content to act, and leave the talking to others.” -Baltasar Gracián (1601 - 1658) “I’m not the type to sit on the porch and watch life go by.” -Sally Rand (born Helen Gould Beck (1904 - 1979)) “This world is but the vestibule of an immortal life. Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity.” -E. H. Chapin (Edwin Hubbell Chapin (1814 - 1880)): as attributed in Charles Northend: “Memory Gems” (1890), page 6 “Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958)) “You don’t have to do everything, but you can always do something.” -Malia Blake (Malia T. Blake (born 1965)) “Do all that you can and all you thought you could not.” -Author Unknown “The fact is that in order to do anything in this world worth doing, we must not stand shivering on the bank thinking of the cold and the danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845) “It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do.” -Jean Molière (pseudonym of Jean-Baptiste Poquelin (1622 - 1673)) “Our grand business undoubtedly is, not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 -1881) “Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is key to unlocking our potential.” -Winston Churchill (Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill (1874 - 1965)): as attributed in Liane Cordes (Liane Jo Cordes (born 1946)): “The Reflecting Pond: Meditations for Self-Discovery” (1981), page 89 “Do something. If it doesn’t work, do something else. No idea is too crazy.” -Jim Hightower (James Allen ‘Jim’ Hightower (born 1943)) “Unselfish and noble actions are the most radiant pages in the biography of souls.” -David Thomas (1776 - 1859) “During a very busy life I have often been asked, “How did you manage to do it all?” The answer is very simple. It is because I did everything promptly.” -Richard Tangye (1833 - 1906) “People who soar, are those who refuse to sit back and wish things would change.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934)) “Facta non verba.” [Latin] “Deeds, not words.” [English] -Author Unknown “Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.” -William Butler Yeats (1865 - 1939) “The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows; it is what the man or woman is able to do that the world cares about.” -Booker T. Washington (Booker Taliaferro Washington (1856 - 1915)): “Mind and Matter” (5 June 1895), address to the Alabama State Teachers’ Association, Selma, Alabama, United States of America “Life is too short to sit on the sidelines; it is much more fun to give it your enthusiastic best.” -Bob Apple “Acting on a good idea is better than just having a good idea.” -Robert Half (1918 - 2001) “Every man feels instinctively that all the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action.” -James Russell Lowell (1819 - 1891): as quoted in the “North American Review” (July 1867) “Don’t just stand there, make something happen.” -Lee Iacocca (Lido Anthony ‘Lee’ Iacocca (born 1924)) “Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906 - 1945) Affirmation: If it is to be, it is up to me. “It has long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.” -Elinor Smith (1911 - 2010) “Well done is better than well said.” -Author Unknown “Doing little things well is a step toward doing big things better.” -Vincent van Gogh (Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 - 1890)) “The time when you need to do something is when no one else is willing to do it, when people are saying it can’t be done.” -Will Durant (William James ‘Will’ Durant (1885 - 1981)) “The shortest way to do many things is to do one thing at once.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904) “Let us turn our ‘To Do Lists’ into ‘All Done Lists.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “Do, doing, done.” -Author Unknown “The greatest things ever done on Earth have been done little by little.” -Thomas Guthrie (1803 - 1873) “Step by step and the thing is done.” -Charles Atlas (born Angelo Siciliano (1892 - 1972)) “It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome.” -William James (1842 - 1910) “Action is the antidote to despair.” -Joan Baez (Joan Chandos Baez (born 1941)) “Do it. Do it right. Do it right now.” -Author Unknown “Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) “Action makes more fortune than caution.” -Luc DeClapiers (1715 - 1747) “Always say nothing doing to doing nothing.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011) “And, having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.” -Enoch A. Bennett (Enoch Arnold Bennett (1867 - 1931)): “How to Live on Twenty-Four Hours a Day” (1910), Chapter 12 “So little done, so much to do.” -Cecil Rhodes (1853 - 1902) “The more things you do, the more you can do.” -Lucille Ball (Lucille Désirée Ball (1911 - 1989)) “In a world where there is so much to be done, I felt strongly impressed that there must be something for me to do.” -Dorothea Dix (Dorothea Lynde Dix (1802 - 1887)): as quoted in Lydia Maria Child: “Letters from New York,” Volume 2 (1845), ‘Letter 31’ (31 December 1844), page 284 This is MFOL! . . . we must take immediate action to make the world funnier . . .  As can be seen from these statues of ancient philosophers, they consisted entirely of heads, with no arms or legs or bodies, and so they spent their lives deep in thought . . . The French existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a diner when a waitress approached him. “Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?” Sartre replied, “Yes, I would like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream.” Nodding, the waitress walked off to fill the order, and Sartre returned to working. A few minutes later, however, the waitress returned and said, “I’m sorry, Monsieur Sartre, we are all out of cream - how about with no milk?” “There is nothing so absurd but that some philosopher has said it.” -Cicero (Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)): “De Divinatione” (“On Divination”) (44 B.C.E.), book 2, chapter 119, section 58 The following are thought to be profound thoughts from famous philosophers. 1. “To be is to do.” -Socrates (470 B.C.E. - 399 B.C.E.) 2. “To do is to be.” -Jean-Paul Sartre (1905 - 1980) 3. “Do be do be do.” -Frank Sinatra (1915 - 1998) “I think, therefore I am.” [translation to English] “Je pense, donc je suis.” [original French] -René Descartes (1596 - 1650): “Discours de la méthode” (“Discourse on the Method”) (1637) Monsieur Sartre liked this line so much that he used it again as follows. “I think, therefore I am.” [translation to English] “Cogito ergo sum.” [original Latin] -René Descartes (1596 - 1650): “Principia philosophiae” (“Principles of Philosophy”) (1644) “Philosophum non facit barba.” [original Latin] “The beard does not define a philosopher.” [translation to English] -Author Unknown “Cartesian, adj. Relating to Descartes, a famous philosopher, author of the celebrated dictum, ‘Cogito ergo sum’ - whereby he was pleased to suppose he demonstrated the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved, however, thus: ‘Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum’ - ‘I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;’ as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.” -Ambrose Bierce (Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (1842 - 1914)): “The Cynic’s Word Book” (1906; retitled in 1911 as “The Devil’s Dictionary”) “I am, because my little dog knows me.” -Gertrude Stein (1874 - 1946): “Identity a Poem” (1936) “Cogito ergo spud.” “I think, therefore I yam.” -Graffito reported by Herb Caen “I think, therefore, I yam . . . or potato, perhaps . . .” -Author Unknown “Being a philosopher, I have a problem for every solution.” -Author Unknown “At times I think, and at times I am.” -Author Unknown “I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.” -Hippolyte Taine (Hippolyte Adolphe Taine (1828 - 1893)) “I think, therefore I am overqualified.” -Author Unknown “Philosophy: unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.” -Henry Brooks Adams: as quoted in Bert Leston Taylor: “The So-Called Human Race” (1922) “I think, therefore I am a waffle.” [original English] “Cogito eggo sum.” [translation to pseudo-Latin] -Author Unknown: as quoted in “New York” (23 December 1985) magazine “Philosophy, noun: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.” - Ambrose Bierce (Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (1842 - 1914)): “The Cynic’s Word Book” (1906; retitled in 1911 as “The Devil’s Dictionary”) “An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.” -H. L. Mencken (Henry Louis Mencken (1880 - 1956)) “I think I am. Therefore, I am . . . I think.” [original English] “Cogito sum, ergo sum cogito.” [translated to Latin] -attributed to George Carlin (1937 - 2008) Percy: I think, therefore I am . . . I think . . . what do you think? Mercy: I am not sure, therefore, I mumble. “I doubt, therefore, I might be.” -Author Unknown “The highest point of philosophy is to be both wise and simple; this is the angelic life.” -attributed to John Chrysostom (about C.E. 347 - C.E. 407) “I forget, therefore, I was.” -Author Unknown “The reason to get a degree in philosophy is so that you can become a professor in philosophy and teach other students how to get degrees in philosophy so they can become professors in philosophy . . . and so on to infinity. Nothing exists outside this construct . . . nothing else is real. In time, all matter in the Universe and everything that has, does, can, or will exist, consists of philosophy professors. Beware, however, as their low mumblings, interspersed with periodic outbreaks of philosophical arguments, could threaten to break down the entire system and return everything to a primordial state of matter and energy, which contains no known traces of philosophers or philosophies, other than that it exists. Now what were you saying?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) Knock, knock. Who’s there? Plato. Plato, who? Plato fish and chips, please.  So you want to be a philosopher? First, you should consider the practical implications of your chosen pursuit. What will become of you? How much do philosophers earn in a year? What do philosophers actually produce? What kind of people would you be working with? What would people think of you? Where would you live? What kind of shoes do philosophers wear?
“Sometimes I don’t think, so I might not be.” -Author Unknown Philosophobia is a persistent fear of philosophy or of philosophers. Possibly some people might not want to be bored to excruciation . . . “I’m an idealist. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.” -Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967) “Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there.” -Sydney J. Harris (Sydney Justin Harris (1917 - 1986)) “A philosopher went into a closet for ten years to contemplate the question, ‘What is life?’ When he came out, he went into the street and met an old colleague, who asked him where in Heaven’s name he had been all those years. ‘In a closet,’ he replied. ‘I wanted to know what life really is.’ ‘And have you found the answer?’ ‘Yes,’ he replied. ‘I think it can best be expressed by saying that life is like a bridge.’ ‘That’s well and good,’ replied the colleague, ‘but can you be a little more explicit? Can you tell me how life is like a bridge?’ ‘Oh,’ replied the philosopher, after some thought, ‘maybe you’re right - perhaps life is not like a bridge.’” - Raymond Smullyan: “5,000 B.C. and Other Philosophical Fantasies” (15 February 1983) Marge: What is the difference between a philosopher and an engineer? Madge: About $190,000 a year. “The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as to seem not worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical that no one will believe it.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970)): “Science and Religion” (1935) “Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules; mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.” -Author Unknown Ancient philosophers, in attempting to understand the world in which they lived, placed humans and chickens into the same category, since both are bipeds, that is, creatures that walk upright on two legs. We have come a long way since then . . . maybe. Nellie: How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb? Neal: None; every light bulb contains the seeds of its own ‘revolution.’ “There is no record in history of a happy philosopher.” -H. L. Mencken (Henry Louis Mencken (1880 - 1956)): as quoted in Herbert V. Prochnow: “Speaker’s Handbook of Epigrams and Witticisms” (1955) “A great truth is a truth whose opposite is also a great truth.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)) Be careful that no one else’s karma runs over your dogma! (car-ma, dog-ma) 1. The First Law of Philosophy: For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher. 2. The Second Law of Philosophy: They are both wrong. I Will Be a Toad “Think as I think,” said a man, “Or you are abominably wicked; You are a toad.” And after I had thought of it, I said, “I will, then, be a toad.” by Stephen Crane (1871 - 1900) “If I wished to punish a province, I would have it governed by philosophers.” -Frederick the Great Aristotle: Why did the chicken cross the road? Plato: For the greater good. The French philosopher René Descartes was in a cafe having a cup of tea. A waiter asked him if he would like another. “I think not,” Mr. Descartes said, and then he promptly vanished in a puff of philosophy. I’m Not Really Here There was a young student called Fred, Who was questioned on Descartes and said: “It’s perfectly clear That I’m not really here, For I haven’t a thought in my head.” by V. R. Ormerod A college dean, on speaking to the staff of the physics department, said, “Why do I always have to give you guys so much money for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff? Why can’t you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper, and wastebaskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department - all they need is pencils and paper.” “Given time and plenty of paper, a philosopher can prove anything.” -Robert A. Heinlein (Robert Anson Heinlein (1907 - 1988)): “Double Star” (1956) “Philosophers are adults who persist in asking childish questions.” -Isaiah Berlin “There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers.” -William James (1842 - 1910) Philosophy drips gently from his tongue Who hath three meals a day in guarantee. -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)): “Parson’s Pleasure” (1923), ‘So This Is Arden’ Is knowledge knowable? If not, how do we know this? “A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.” -Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889 - 1951): as quoted in Henry Dribble: “Philosophical Investigations from the Sanctity of the Press” (15 November 2004), ‘A View from the Asylum,’ page 87 Reality: The dream of a mad philosopher. “Monism is the theory that anything less than everything is nothing.” -Saul Gorn: “S. Gorn’s Compendium of Rarely Used Clichés,” as quoted in Raymond Smullyan: “5,000 B.C. and Other Philosophical Fantasies” (15 February 1983) “To make light of philosophy is to be a true philosopher.” -Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662) “Most philosophers are poor, so most of them give the poor the best of it.” -Edgar W. Howe (Edgar Watson ‘Ed’ Howe, also known as E. W. Howe (1853 - 1937)) “There is no record in human history of a happy philosopher, they exist only in romantic legends.” -George Santayana (1863 - 1952) “I have tried, too, in my time to be a philosopher, but I don’t know how; cheerfulness was always breaking in.” -Oliver Edwards “‘There are no truths,’ he [Nietzsche] wrote, ‘only interpetations.’ Now, either what Nietzsche said is true - in which case it is not true, since there are no truths - or it is false.” -Roger Scruton: “The West and the Rest” (2002), page 74 So, a while back, a decidedly unemployable derelict wandered onto a college campus, and the faculty helped him by buying for him a cup of coffee and then another. Being much impressed, they then granted to him an on-the-spot philosophy professorship because he could string together enough words to make the at-least meandering half-thoughts which they took for pure genius because they had never heard them uttered by such a weather-beaten and antique personage before . . . and that is the story of why today your philosophy professor has holes in the souls of his shoes and his clothes look all decayed and stuff and you do not want to stand too close to him because he smells funny . . . but he sure can make up some fascinating high falutin,’ sincere sounding sentences - and he does have that impeccable acclaimed ‘degree in philosophy.’ Philosopher Phil: Have you heard about the guy who went to the solipsist convention? Philosopher Phoebe: Yes, it turned out that nobody showed up. “Philosophy to him was rather like a maze in which he happened to find himself wandering, and what he was looking for was the way out.” -George Santayana (1863 - 1952): “Character and Opinion in the United States” (1920), referring to William James (1842 - 1910) “Primum viveri diende philosophari.” [original Latin] “Live before you philosophize.” [translation to English] -Author Unknown Philosophers ask questions such as, “Why is there something rather than nothing?” and “What is real?” and “Do we have free-will or are our lives predestined?” and “Why is yellow yellow and not orange or 6.12?” “I am sitting with a philosopher in the garden; he says again and again, ‘I know that that’s a tree,’ pointing to a tree that is near us. Someone else arrives and hears this, and I tell them, ‘This fellow isn’t insane. We are only doing philosophy.’” -Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889 - 1951) “The true function of philosophy is to educate us in the principles of reasoning and not to put an end to further reasoning by the introduction of fixed conclusions.” -George Henry Lewes (1817 - 1878): “The Biographical History of Philosophy” We can make fun of philosophy and even call it idle musings, because philosophers have said some very amusing things across the span of human history, and we suspect that sometimes they were being funny - on purpose! However, it is worth noting that philosophy began as an attempt to understand ourselves and our world. Many sciences began in philosophy: mathematics, chemistry, biology, medicine, and so forth. From these sciences have sprung developments including many of the things we now take for granted, from larger crop yields to being able to launch rockets into space to treatments for infectious diseases. Thanks, philosophers! This is MFOL! . . . we add new articles regularly, so be sure to visit often . . .  “Life begins at eighty.” -Author Unknown
How to Grow Old If you want to be an old man long before your time, Never fool with poetry, never make a rhyme. Never play with children, never skip the rope, Never have a good time blowing bubble soap. Never go a-fishing, never pass the ball, Never ramble in the woods in Summer or in Fall. Never lift your eyes to God, keep ‘em looking down, Never wear a pleasant smile, always wear a frown. Never take your time to eat, always overstuff, Never have the sense to know when you’ve had enough. by Alex Rennie “Once you reach 80, everyone wants to carry your baggage and help you up the steps. If you forget your name or anybody else’s name, or an appointment, or your own telephone number, or promise to be three places at the same time, or can’t remember how many grandchildren you have, you need only explain that you are 80.” -Frank Laubach: as quoted in Ann Landers: “Wake Up and Smell the Coffee! Advice, Wisdom, and Uncommon Good Sense” (1996) “At age 7, Mozart wrote his first symphony. At 12, Shane Gould won an Olympic medal. At 14, Leann Rimes topped the Country Music charts. At 17, Joan of Arc led an army in defense of Europe. At 57, Ray Kroc founded the McDonald’s Restaurant chain. At 71, Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel. At 80, George Burns won his first Oscar. At 104, Cal Evans wrote his first book on the American West.” -Gil Atkinson: as quoted in Dan Zadra: “I Believe in You: To Your Heart, Your Dream, and the Difference You Make” (August 1999) “When you are dissatisfied with the present and would like to go back to your youth, just think of Algebra and Geometry.” -Author Unknown “Wrinkles mean you laughed, gray hair means you cared, and scars mean you lived!” -Author Unknown “Ah, being young is beautiful . . . but being old is comfortable.” -Author Unknown At a nursing home in Florida, some senior citizens were sitting around talking about their aches and pains. “My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee,” said one. “I know what you mean. My cataracts are so bad I can’t even see my coffee,” replied another. “I can’t turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck,” said a third. “My blood pressure pills make me dizzy,” another contributed. “I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old,” winced an old man. Then there was a short moment of silence followed by, “Thankfully, we can all still drive!” chimed in one cheerful woman. On Growing Up My grandmother is coming tomorrow And then I’m going to be four; I’m getting so big that already, I can open the kitchen door; I’m very much taller than Baby, Though today I am still only three, And I’m bigger than bob-tail the puppy, Who used to be bigger than me. by Author Unknown “It is not by the gray of the hair that one knows the age of the heart.” -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873) Three sisters, who were 92, 94, and 96 years of age, lived in a house together. One night the 96 year old drew a bath. She put her foot in and paused. She yelled to the other sisters, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?” The 94-year-old yelled back, “I don’t know. I’ll come up and see.” She started up the stairs and paused. “Was I going up the stairs or down?” The 92 year old was sitting at the kitchen table having tea and listening to her sisters. She shook her head and said, “I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.” She then yelled, “I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.” “We turn not older with years, but newer every day.” -Emily Dickinson (1830 - 1886) Age Mary’s five and Bea is three, Bob is nine, that’s three times Bea. In four more years I’ll be eleven, That’s much better than being seven. Granddad’s sixty I am told, How many years till I’m that old? Funny how mum’s age never changes, She’s been twenty-one for ages! by Author Unknown “As I get older, I just prefer to knit.” -Tracey Ullman “Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)): “Following the Equator” (1897), chapter 52 Advantages of Growing Old - You can eat supper at 4:00 p.m. - People call at 8:00 p.m. and ask, ‘Did I wake you?’ - There is nothing left to learn the hard way. - Things you buy now won’t wear out. - You enjoy hearing about other people’s problems. - Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. - You realize how wise you are to have bought long-term care insurance. - You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it. - Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either. - You can’t remember where you found this list. “The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.” -Madeleine L’Engle (Madeleine L’Engle Camp (1918 - 2007)) “As you get older three things happen. The first is, your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two . . .” -Norman Wisdom A little silver-haired lady called her neighbor and said, “Please come over here and help me. I have a new jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.” Her neighbor asked, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The little silver-haired lady said, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.” Her neighbor decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over her table. He studied the pieces for a moment, looked at the box, and then turned to her and said, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble the pieces into anything resembling a rooster.” He gently put his hand on her shoulder and said, “Secondly, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and well . . .” he said with a deep sigh, “. . . let’s put all the corn flakes back in the box.” “Age is nothing at all . . . unless you are a cheese.” -Billie Burke (Mary William Appleton ‘Billie’ Burke (1886 - 1970)) “When I was little, I thought being an adult meant not having a bedtime, but I’ve come to realize that it just means being in charge of my own bedtime and it turns out that I am not equipped to handle that responsibility.” -Author Unknown Games for When We Are Older 1. Sag, You’re It! 2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Person 3. Twenty Questions Shouted Into Your One Good Ear 4. Musical Recliners 5. Doc, Doc - Nurse! 6. Simon Says Something Incoherent 7. Spin the Medication Bottle 8. Has Anyone Seen Where I Mislaid My Teeth? 9. Cane Dueling 10. Who Am I and How Did I Get Here? Overheard: I just turned 92, and I have finally figured out what I want to do with my life. Be wise with speed; A fool at forty is a fool indeed. -Edward Young (1683 - 1765) “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was?” - Satchel Paige (Leroy Robert ‘Satchel’ Paige (1906 - 1982)): as quoted in the “New York Times” (8 June 1984) “I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.” -Author Unknown “I have often noticed that a kindly, placid, good humor is the companion of longevity, and I suspect, frequently the leading cause of it.” -Walter Scott (1771 - 1832): “Sir Walter Scott’s Journal 1825 - 1832” (1890), ‘20 September 1826’ “Youth is happy because it has the ability to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.” -Franz Kafka (1883 - 1924) Old Age I like my new bifocals, My dentures fit just fine, My hearing aid is perfect, But, Lord, I miss my mind! by Author Unknown “I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am.” -Bernard M. Baruch (Bernard Mannes Baruch (1870 - 1965)): as quoted in “Newsweek” (29 August 1955) (similar quotation attributed to René Descartes) “The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.” -H. L. Mencken (Henry Louis Mencken (1880 - 1956)): “Prejudices: Third Series” (1922), chapter 3 “As soon as you feel too old to do a thing, do it!” -Margaret Deland (1857 - 1945) How Old Is Old? An elephant outlives a monkey, A turtle, longer than man, A housefly will last but a summer, A tree has a long life span. A camel has humps when a baby, A deer slows down when fifteen, Eight years is life’s span for a squirrel, One older is seldom seen. You are young, my friend, not old but young If you find deep in your heart Beautiful thoughts of deeds to be done Or some kind words to impart. by Author Unknown “It’s not the age of a person, but the attitude that matters.” -Author Unknown “The older one gets, the more one comes to resemble oneself.” -Maurice Chevalier (Maurice Auguste Chevalier (1888 - 1972)) “You’ve heard of the three stages of man - youth, age, and ‘you’re looking wonderful’.” -Francis Cardinal Spellman It’s happening so fast . . . all those Rock ‘n’ Rollers are now in rocking chairs! Some of the artists from the 1960’s and 1970’s are re-releasing their hits with new lyrics to accommodate us in our golden years. This is good news for those of us who are missing all of those great old tunes. - Herman’s Hermits: “Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Walker” - The Bee Gees: “How Can You Mend a Broken Hip” - The Temptations: “Papa’s got a Kidney Stone” - Marvin Gaye: “I Heard It through the Grape Nuts” - Johnny Nash: “I Can’t See Clearly Now” - ABBA: “Denture Queen” “Age doesn’t always make you as forgetful as you may have been led to believe. It’s really having far too many worthless facts to remember that makes you forgetful.” -Author Unknown “If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.” -Author Unknown “He was of that awkward age, being too old for military service and too young for retirement.” -Author Unknown “The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible.” -Judith Regan Randy: What goes up, but never comes down? Sandy: Your age. Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well preserved he appeared. “I will tell you the secret of my success,” he cackled. “My wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge that whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go out and take a walk. Gentlemen, I have been in the open air practically continuously for 75 years.” “Age is just a number - you are as young or as old as you feel.” -Author Unknown “A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.” -R. C. Ferguson Sandra: How can a woman be 94 on her last birthday and 96 on her next birthday? Cassandra: Today is her 95th birthday! “Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.” -Anaïs Nin (1903 - 1977) “When one has reached 81 . . . one likes to sit back and let the world turn by itself without trying to push it.” -Sean O’Casey (1880 - 1964): as quoted in “The New York Times” (25 September 1960) “It is a mistake to regard age as a downhill grade toward dissolution. The reverse is true. As one grows older, one climbs with surprising strides.” -George Sand (pseudonym of Amandine-Aurore-Lucile Dupin (1804 - 1876)) “We are always the same age inside.” -Gertrude Stein (1874 - 1946) Stan: How can you tell that you are getting old? Dan: You go to an antiques auction and three people bid on you. “A man over ninety is a great comfort to all his elderly neighbors: he is a picket-guard at the extreme outpost; and the young folks of sixty and seventy feel that the enemy must get by him before he can come near their camp.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Senior (1809 - 1894): “The Guardian Angel” (1867) “Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” -Satchel Paige (Leroy Robert ‘Satchel’ Paige (1906 - 1982)) “Do not regret growing old . . . it is a privilege denied to many.” -Author Unknown “Seasoned citizen - seasonings may include salt and pepper.” -Author Unknown “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will have truly defeated age.” -Sophia Loren (pseudonym of Sophia Sciccoloni (born 1934)) “As one grows older, one becomes wiser and more foolish.” -François de La Rochefoucauld (also known as François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)) “I am still learning.” -Michelangelo (Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni, also known as Buonarroti Michelangelo (1475 - 1564)), at 80 years of age “I’m not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You’re as old as you feel.” -Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821 - 1881) For age is opportunity no less Than youth itself, though in another dress, And as the evening twilight fades away, The sky is filled with stars, invisible by day. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882): “Morituri Salutamus” (1875) “You can tell you are getting old when you sit down in a rocking chair and cannot get it started.” -Author Unknown “For years I wanted to be older, and now I am.” -Margaret Atwood (born 1939) “One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young.” -Dorothy Canfield Fisher (1879 - 1958) “The older the fiddle, the sweeter the sound.” -Author Unknown “I think all this talk about age is foolish. Every time I’m one year older, everyone else is too.” -Gloria Swanson (1897 - 1983): “Swanson on Swanson” (1981) “The belief that youth is the happiest time of life is founded on a fallacy. The happiest person is the person who thinks the most interesting thoughts and we grow happier as we grow older.” -William Lyon Phelps (1865 - 1943) “I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called hunting for your spectacles.” -Edward Grey “The older you get, the faster time passes in your mind, so use your time according to what is most important.” -A. J. Darkholme: “Rise of the Morningstar” (????) Well, hello there! Did you know that right now you are the oldest you have ever been before and the youngest you will ever be again? We would like to encourage you to enjoy every moment you have. Now go out there and Make Fun Of Life!  What is a mnemonic? A mnemonic is an aid to the memorization and recall of information or knowledge.
How is mnemonic pronounced? The word mnemonic is pronounced as nuh-mah-nik, with the letter ‘m’ at the beginning of the word being silent, similar to the way the letter ‘g’ at the beginning of the word gnu is silent. Does anyone have a mnemonic that is useful for remembering how to spell the word mnemonic? Mnemonic Devices Can Help in Memorizing - Birthdays - Dates - Faces - Phrases in foreign languages - Names - Order in which things have occurred or are to be done - Shopping lists - Subjects in school - To do lists Can you think of other uses for mnemonics? ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ General Knowledge Mnemonics Colors of the Rainbow The colors of the rainbow in the visual spectrum are red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. Mnemonics for remembering them include the following. - Roy G. Biv - Richard Of York Gave Battle In Vain. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Metric System The prefixes of the metric system of measure from largest to smallest units are Kilo, Hecto, Deka, Base, Deci, Centi, and Milli. They can be memorized with the mnemonic, “King Henry dieted by drinking chocolate milk.” *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Days in the Months Thirty days has September, April, June, and November; All the rest have thirty-one Excepting February alone, To which we twenty-eight assign Till leap year makes it twenty-nine. by Author Unknown ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ English Grammar Mnemonics Coordinating Conjunctions The seven coordinating conjunctions in English can be arranged to form the acronymic mnemonic FANBOYS: For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Parts of Speech Nouns and Verbs Nouns are persons, or places, or things Such as Benjamin, Egypt, or wings. Verbs cause them to move As this sentence will prove: “When Benjamin sings, Egypt swings!” Adverbs On adverbs we always rely To tell where or when, how or why, And to what extent, too As ‘exceedingly few’ Tells about elephants in the sky. Prepositions If you want to locate or position Some thing, use a good preposition. To, around, in, and out, Up and down, or about Put things in their place or condition. by Author Unknown *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Eight Parts of Speech An acronymic mnemonic for the eight parts of speech is PAPANVIC, standing for: Pronoun, Adjective, Preposition, Adverb, Noun, Verb, Interjection, Conjunction. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Vowels The five vowels of the alphabet can be memorized with the mnemonic, “Angry elephant in orange underpants,” representing a, e, i, o, u. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Spelling Rule ‘I’ before ‘e,’ Except after ‘c,’ Or when sounded like ‘a,’ As in ‘neighbor’ and ‘weigh.’ by Author Unknown The following sixteen words are exceptions to the ‘i before e’ rule or guideline: seize, weird, neither, either, foreign, sovereign, forfeit, counterfeit, leisure, heifer, protein, height, sleight, feisty, seismograph, and kaleidoscope. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Mnemonics for Spelling Words - Because: Big elephants can always understand smaller elephants. - Does it help to think of the r in separate as separating two like letters? - Geography: George Eliot’s old grandfather rode a pig home yesterday. - The three e’s in cemetery are as three tombstones in a row. - When you think of spelling stationery, think of the e in envelope. Can you create more mnemonics for words that are difficult to spell? ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ Achievement Mnemonics Goals SMART Goals are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-Bound. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Cooperation The benefit of teamwork is spelled out in the acronym TEAM: Together Everyone Achieves More. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Studying for Tests BREAK: Break memorization into short time periods, Recite information aloud, Establish mnemonics, Always try to picture information in your mind, Key words help. ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ Science Mnemonics The Scientific Method, or What do scientists do all day? Answer: Question, research, hypothesis, experiment, conclusion, report. Mnemonic for remembering this: Quickly run home eating chewy raisins. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Electromagnetic Spectrum The electromagnetic spectrum is broken down into waves or rays, called Radio, Micro, Infrared, Visible, Ultraviolet, X-Rays, and Gama. A mnemonic for remembering this is, “Real monkeys invent very useful X-mas gifts.” ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ Geography Mnemonics Earth’s Continents Earth has seven continents, which are named Europe, Antarctica, Asia, Africa, Australia, North America, South America. A mnemonic for remembering them is as follows: Eat an alligator after a nighttime snack. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** The Five Great Lakes of North America HOMES: Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, Superior. The five great lakes are ‘homes’ to numerous fishes. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** The Countries of Central America Big gorillas eat halava, not cold pizza. Belize, Guatamala, El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Panama. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Earth’s Oceans The Earth’s five oceans in order from largest to smallest are Pacific, Atlantic, Indian, Southern, and Arctic. A mnemonic remembering them is, People attack irritatingly simple art. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** American States The states just west of the Mississippi River from north to south are Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri, Arkansas and Louisiana. A mnemonic for the names of the states is MIMAL the Silly Elf, based on the shapes of the states. Minnesota is his hat, Iowa is his face, Missouri is his body, Arkansas is his legs, and Louisiana is his boots. Look at a map for help in understanding this idea. ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ Mathematics Mnemonics Order of Operations in Arithmetic The order of operations in arithmetic can be memorized with the aid of the mnemonic acronym GEMDAS, which stands for Groupings, Exponents, Multiplication, Division, Addition, Subtraction. Groupings are mathematical expressions affected by grouping symbols such as parenthesis ( ), square brackets [ ], curly brackets { }, and the fraction bars — or /. A further aid to memorization of the order of operations in arithmetic is to replace each letter in GEMDAS with a word, to create the sentence, “George, Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally.” Otherwise, GEMDAS is a ‘gem’ of a mnemonic. *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Pi The mathematical value π or pi, expressed to thirty-one decimal places, is 3.1415926535897932384626433832795. The letter count of each word in the following poem represents a number in pi. The first word, Sir, contains 3 letters representing the whole number 3 to the left of the decimal point, and the number of letters in each word following the word Sir is a number to the right of the decimal point. Sir, I bear a rhyme excelling In mystic force, and magic spelling Celestial sprites elucidate All my own striving can’t relate Or locate they who can cogitate And so finally terminate. Finis. ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ Biology Mnemonic Taxonomic Hierarchies The order of taxonomic hierarchies in biology are: Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species. Some mnemonics for remembering them include the following. - Kids prefer cheese over fried green spinach. - King Philip came over for good soup. - Kings play chess on fine glass sets. ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ History Mnemonic Christopher Columbus Columbus sailed the ocean blue In fourteen-hundred ninety-two. by Author Unknown ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ Astronomy Mnemonics Basic Solar System Some mnemonics for the eight planets or Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, plus one dwarf planet Pluto, in order of distance from the Sun star, are as follows. My very eager mother just served us nine pickles. My very easy method just speeds up naming planets. My very educated mother just served us nine pizzas. My very educated mother just showed us nine planets. All-Inclusive Solar System All of the planets and all of the dwarf planets in order from the Sun star outward are Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Ceres, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, Haumea, Makemake, and Eris. Some mnemonics for the eight planets plus the four dwarf planets in order from the Sun outward are as follows. - My very exciting mermaid career just sunk underwater. Now, pedestrian hobbies mean everything. - ‘Man,’ Voldemort exclaimed, ‘my catastrophic jinx shall utterly nuke Potter!’ Harry’s Move: ‘Expelliarmus!’ ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ Names and Titles Mnemonics - When you meet someone for the first time, say the person’s name aloud, as for example, “I am pleased to meet you, Margaret.” Use the person’s name in conversation, as for example, “I agree with your observation on that subject, Margaret.” Then, when parting, say the person’s name again, as for example, “I hope to see you again, Margaret.” Repetition is one of the best ways to place information in memory. - Associate the person’s name with a place, school, team, church, company, or other organization, as for example, ‘Steve from New Brunswick’ or ‘Karen with the Christian Polo Players Club’ or ‘Martin Shoreberg of Custom Electronics.’ - Think of a short rhyme using the person’s name, such as ‘Jed the Red’ or ‘Stan the Man with the Hopeful Plan’ or ‘Carmella and her longtime fella.’ You might not want to say the rhyme aloud, to avoid embarrassing the person and yourself, and just think it silently to yourself. - If it helps, write the person’s name down on paper, with any information that helps you make the connection, such as a telephone number, company name, or email address. - Can you think of other tips for remembering people’s names? *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** The English or United Kingdom Peerage The titles of the five ranks of peerage in ascending order are: baron, viscount, earl, marquess, duke. The title ‘Lord’ is used most often by barons who are rarely addressed with any other. The style of this address is ‘Lord __________________,’ as, for example, ‘Alfred Tennyson, 1st Baron Tennyson,’ commonly known as ‘Lord Tennyson.’ The ranks of marquess, earl, and viscounts commonly use lord as well, with viscounts using the same style as used for baron. However, marquises and earls have a slightly different form of address where they can be called either the ‘Marquess/Earl of __________________,’ or ‘Lord __________________.’ Dukes also use the style, ‘Duke of __________________,’ but it is not acceptable to refer to them as ‘Lord __________________.’ Dukes are formally addressed as ‘Your Grace,’ rather than ‘My Lord.’ A mnemonic for remembering the titles in ascending order of rank is, “Bobbies very eagerly munch doughnuts.” ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ Mnemonics are not magic, and in fact, some of them are atrocious, but they can be useful nonetheless. Did you know you can create your own mnemonics, to help you memorize nearly anything? Just put your imagination to work. This is MFOL! . . . the internet’s most mildly amusing website . . .  Everybody’s waiting for something . . .
“Good things come to those who wait - but better things come to those who work for it.” -Author Unknown “I was not born to wait.” -Gwenda Bond: “Double Down” (1 May 2016) “I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955)) “Beware the Fury of a Patient Man.” -John Dryden (1631 - 1700): “Absalom and Achitophel” (1681), Part 1, line 1005; type of work: satiric poem “Patience is the ability to count down without blasting off.” -Author Unknown “You’re trying to eat grass that isn’t there. Why don’t you give it a chance to grow?” -Richard Adams (1920 - 2016): “Watership Down” (November 1972) Pay-Off All things may come To those who wait, But when they do, They’re out of date. by George Hill “If you are patient in a moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” -Author Unknown “Be patient with your impatience.” -Roy Masters (born Reuben Obermeister (born 1928)) “The secret of patience is to do something else in the meantime.” -Croft M. Pentz (Croft Miner Pentz (1931 -2008)) “What is done hastily is not done well.” -Author Unknown “Everything comes too late for those who only wait.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)) Overheard: Patience is something that can only be learned by waiting. “‘Patience is a virtue’ is always said by those who make others wait, and never by those who must wait.” -Author Unknown “There is, however, a limit at which forbearance ceases to be a virtue.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797): “Observations on a Late Publication on the Present State of the Nation” “The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.” -Arnold H. Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998)) “Patience is powerful.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882) “How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young?” -Paul Sweeney “In putting off what one has to do, one runs the risk of never being able to do it.” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867) Once upon a time, there was a man who was very impatient with other people. To him, everyone seemed to be too slow to understand and too slow to do the right things. Also to him, people seemed too quick to come to the wrong conclusions and too quick to do the wrong things. The more the man had to deal with people, the more impatient he became with them, so he decided that he must get away from people until he could learn how to be patient. He built himself a little home deep in the woods, and far away from civilization, and lived as a hermit. Years later, a man was hiking through the woods, and met the impatient man. The hiker was amazed to find anyone living so deep in the woods and so far away from the rest of the world, so he asked the man why he was there all by himself. The man said that he was there to learn patience. The hiker asked how long he had been living all alone in the woods, and the man replied, “Thirty-one years.” Stunned, the hiker asked, “If there are no other people around you, how will you know when you have learned to be patient?” Annoyed by this lengthy conversation, the impatient man replied, “Go away, I have no time for you.” “You will develop patience if you wait long enough.” -Author Unknown “Patience is also a form of action.” -Auguste Rodin (also known as François Auguste René Rodin or Auguste-René Rodin (1840 - 1917)) Macrophobia is a fear of long waits. Personally, we are afraid of short waits. “The dentist will see you now.” “Oh, no . . . couldn’t we wait just a little longer?” “Lateness is rudeness - always. There is no such thing as being ‘fashionably late.’ If you are running late, call to let your host know.” -Author Unknown ‘Hurry up and wait!’ could be the slogan of many individuals and organizations. Military people are familiar with this saying. People with government appointments may have heard this saying. People with medical appointments may suspect that this is what is going on. You make all kinds of advance preparations in order to be absolutely certain that you have everything ready that they require, and you make sure that you are not just on time, but at least a few minutes early - and what happens? You are made to wait for hours, because the people who insisted that you show up prepared and on time did not make the same efforts to be sure they were prepared and on time to meet you! It can be hard not to feel that these people do not respect you and that they are stealing your time away from you. “Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.” -John Quincy Adams (1767 - 1848) “All things come to those who wait - provided they work continually while waiting.” -Author Unknown “Patience with others is love. Patience with self is hope. Patience with God is faith.” -Adel Bestavros (Adel Azer Bestavros (1924 - 2005)) “Men count up the faults of those who keep them waiting.” -Author Unknown: French proverb Overheard: Thank you for your patience. “Patience is the greatest of all virtues.” -Cato the Elder (Marcus Porcius Cato (233 B.C.E. - 148 B.C.E.)) “If you have been waiting for someone or something for so long that you can actually feel yourself getting older while you wait, then you know that you have been waiting for far too long.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “Patience will come to him who waits for it.” -Author Unknown “If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb “Patience is a key element of success.” -Bill Gates (born 1955) “It is better to have a hen tomorrow than an egg today.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734) “There is nothing to be gained by waiting for a better situation. You see where you are and you do what you can with that.” -Jacob K. Javits (Jacob Koppel Javits (1904 - 1986)) “Patience is not simply the ability to wait. It’s how we behave while we’re waiting.” -Joyce Meyer (born Pauline Joyce Hutchison (born 1943)) “If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.” -Larry McMurtry (born 1936): “Some Can Whistle” (1989) “Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” [English translation] “La patience est amère, mais son fruit est doux.” [original French] -Jean Chardin (1643 - 1713): “Voyages en Perse et autres lieux de l’Orient” (1711), page 175 “Our patience will achieve more than our force.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797): “Reflections on the Revolution in France” (1790) “Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself.” -Francis de Sales (1567 - 1622) “Abused Patience turns to Fury.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 757 “When you are tempted to lose patience with someone, think how patient God has been with you all the time.” -Author Unknown “You can chase a butterfly all over the field and never catch it. But if you sit quietly in the grass it will come and sit on your shoulder.” -Author Unknown “No great thing is created suddenly.” -Epictetus (C.E. 55 - C.E. 135) “Patience means self-suffering.” -Mahatma Gandhi (Mohandas Karamchand ‘Mahatma’ Gandhi (1869 - 1948)) “Waiting is one thing, but when people force us to wait for an exorbitant amount of time, they are actually taking a part of our lives away from us, because time is a measure of life.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “He that can have patience can have what he will.” -Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790): “Poor Richard’s Almanack” (June 1736) “Even the nicest person’s patience has a limit.” -Author Unknown “I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.” -E. V. Lucas (Edward Verrall Lucas (1868 - 1938)): “365 Days and One More” (1926), ‘October 3’ “Patience is the art of hoping.” [English translation] “La patience est l’art d’espérer.” [original French] -Luc de Clapiers, Marquis de Vauvenargues (1715 - 1747): “Réflexions” (1746), CCLI “Patience and tenacity of purpose are worth more than twice their weight of cleverness.” -T. H. Huxley (Thomas Henry Huxley (1825 - 1895)) “Patience, noun. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.” -Ambrose Bierce (Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (1842 - 1914)): “The Cynic’s Word Book” (1906; retitled in 1911 as “The Devil’s Dictionary”) “Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.” -Guy Kawasaki (Guy Takeo Kawasaki (born 1954)) “Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.” -David G. Allen (born 1945) “Regardless of how much patience we have, we would prefer never to use any of it.” -James T. O’Brien “If you wait until all the lights are ‘green’ before you leave home, you’ll never get started on your trip to the top.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012)) “When you are tempted to lose patience with God, remember how patient God has been with you.” -Author Unknown “Patience is a virtue. The Moon and the Sun learned long ago that, if each patiently waits its turn, they will both have their chance to shine.” -Author Unknown “Please be patient. God has not finished with me yet.” -Author Unknown “Good things come to those who believe, better things come to those who are patient, and the best things come to those who don’t give up.” -Author Unknown This is life’s dilemma and it is sure as fate Some things can’t be hurried and other things can’t wait. -Author Unknown Overheard: Good things take time. “Patience is the companion of wisdom.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis and Aurelius Augustine (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430)) “Your capacity for patience will be rewarded eventually.” -Author Unknown “Patience is the ability to let your light shine after your fuse has blown.” -Bob Levey “A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.” -George Savile (also known as Lord Halifax (1633 - 1695)) “Even a waiter finally comes to him who waits.” -Author Unknown “Patience is the ability to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without becoming angry or upset.” -Author Unknown “The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.” -Author Unknown The two most common meanings of patience are as follows. 1. To wait without being frustrated, angry, complaining, and so forth. 2. To understandingly bear with the faults of others. “Impatience can cause wise people to do foolish things.” -Janette Oke (born 1935) “I feel like I’m waiting for something that isn’t going to happen.” -Author Unknown “Patience is a necessary ingredient of genius.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881) “People wait all week for Friday, all year for Summer, all of a lifetime for happiness.” -Author Unknown “Impatience never commanded success.” -Edwin H. Chapin (Edwin Hubbell Chapin (1814 - 1880)) A little boy was standing patiently at the bottom of an escalator in a big department store. A saleswoman asked him, “Sonny, are you lost?” The boy answered, “No ma’am, I’m waiting for my chewing gum to come back.” “The man who is waiting for something to turn up might start on his shirt sleeves.” -Garth Henrichs Overheard: Be patient with people - nobody is perfect. “Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” -Author Unknown “Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970)) We would be flattering ourselves if we said that this topic was certainly worth waiting for . . . more fun and learning continues below . . . on MFOL!  It turns out that real men actually can do real housework . . .
“The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now. They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they’d never clean anything.” -Dave Barry (David McAlister ‘Dave’ Barry (born 1947)) Ethan: Did you hear about the man who crossed a bale of straw with an octopus? Ethel: Yes, he got a broom with eight handles. Dorothy Parker was a writer and a humorist who led a very busy life. One day she was foolish enough to accept two baby alligators as a gift. She brought them home, ran a little water in the bathtub, and put them there until she could decide what to do with them. The next day, the cleaning woman came by while Parker was out. When Parker returned that evening, she found the house uncleaned and this note: “Dear Madam, I am leaving. I cannot work in a house with alligators. I would have told you this before, but I never thought the subject would come up.” “Twenty-one percent of people do not make their beds in the morning.” -Author Unknown Bed-Making Machine “I’ve been thinking it over, I mean,” Said a child to her girl-friend Irene, “It’s a shame and a crime, After all this long time, No one’s built a bed-making machine.” by Author Unknown Does vacuuming count as aerobic exercise? Overheard: A clean house is a happy house! “I keep a bowl of plastic fruit on the table in case a couple of mannequins drop in for a visit.” -Author Unknown Dirty Dishes Thank God for dirty dishes, They have a tale to tell. While others may go hungry, We’ve eaten very well. With home, health, and happiness; I shouldn’t want to fuss. By the stack of evidence, God’s been very good to us. by Author Unknown “I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on.” -Roseanne Barr (Roseanne Cherrie Barr (born 1952)) “I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes - and six months later you have to start all over again.” -Joan Rivers (pseudonym of Joan Alexandra Molinsky (1933 - 2014)): as quoted in Michèle Brown and Ann O’Connor, editors: “Woman Talk” (1984), ‘Work’ “Cleaning: Moving dirt from one place to another.” -Author Unknown Why is there a light in the refrigerator and not in the freezer? Why do home refrigerators not have windows in the doors so people can look inside them without opening the doors? “My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it.” -Dottie Archibald (Dorothy Bales ‘Dottie’ Archibald (born 1942)) Spring Cleaning I’m really determined and keen To start giving this house a Spring clean. I will do it I say, Yes, I’ll do it today . . . Well, I’ll do it tomorrow, I mean. by Author Unknown “Our house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy.” -Author Unknown A woman admitted to being a less than fastidious housekeeper. One evening her husband returned home from work, walked into the kitchen, and said, “You know, dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel.” The woman turned to him and sweetly replied, “Well, darling, that’s why I married a college graduate.” Fred: Why do refrigerators hum? Ginger: Because they do not know the words. “A new broom sweeps clean, but the old one knows the corners.” -Author Unknown When Young Melissa Sweeps When young Melissa sweeps a room I vow she dances with the broom! She curtsies in a corner brightly And leads her partner forth politely. Then up and down in jigs and reels, With gold dust flying at their heels, They caper. With a whirl or two They make the wainscot shine like new; They waltz beside the hearth, and quick It brightens, shabby brick by brick. A gay gavotte across the floor, A Highland fling from door to door, And every crack and corner’s clean Enough to suit a dainty queen. If ever you are full of gloom, Just watch Melissa sweep a room! by Nancy Byrd Turner (1880 - 1971) “Housework is like stringing beads with no knot on the end.” -Author Unknown “The washing of dishes does seem to me the most absurd and unsatisfactory business that I ever undertook. If, when once washed, they would remain clean forever and ever (which they ought in all reason to do, considering how much trouble it is), there would be less occasion to grumble; but no sooner is it done, than it requires to be done again. On the whole, I have come to the resolution not to use more than one dish at each meal.” -Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804 - 1864) “Please Do Not Feed The Dust Bunnies.” -Author Unknown Dust bunnies are magical. Santa’s elves make them at the North Pole during the off-season, and they are then delivered to people’s homes by the other little people: fairies, gnomes, pixies, leprechauns, and so forth, just in time for Spring cleaning. “A house becomes a home when you can write, ‘I love you’ on the furniture.” -Author Unknown: “Dust If You Must” A Request Please be a dear And do your dish here For if you do not The house will be wrought With people disgusted By the mess that’s displayed And hence are not able To dine at the table For lack of clean dishes Restricts their good wishes. by Author Unknown “Cleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places.” -Author Unknown “There were times, indeed, when the vigor she put into her work was more of a relief to her feelings than it was an ardor to efface dirt . . .” -Eleanor H. Porter (Eleanor Emily Hodgman Porter (1868 - 1920)): “Pollyanna” (1912) Amathophobia is a persistent fear of dust. Amathophobia is derived from the Greek words ‘amathos’ meaning ‘sand’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’ What is a fear of dust bunnies called? “Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture.” -Mario Buatta (1935 - 2018) Ivy: What do you call a pretty woman using a broom? Ivan: Sweeping beauty. Ataxophobia is a persistent fear of disorder or untidiness. Ataxophobia is derived from the Greek words ‘taxo’ meaning ‘order’ and ‘phobia’ meaning ‘fear.’ “The meal’s complete when the kitchen’s neat.” -Author Unknown “There was no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse.” -Quentin Crisp (Denis Charles Pratt (1908 - 1999)) “Nature abhors a vacuum. And so do I.” -Anne Gibbons “Housework is something you do that nobody notices until you don’t do it.” -Author Unknown Don’t overlook any available tongues when cleaning. Cats and dogs and other pets can lick clean food surfaces such as plates and floors; children can lick clean mixing spoons and eggbeaters. “You sometimes see a woman who would have made a Joan of Arc in another century and climate, threshing herself to pieces over all the mean worry of housekeeping.” -Rudyard Kipling (Joseph Rudyard Kipling (1865 - 1936)) “I got the blues thinking of the future, so I left off and made some marmalade. It’s amazing how it cheers one up to shred oranges and scrub the floor.” -D. H. Lawrence (David Herbert Lawrence (1885 - 1930)) Come on In Although you’ll find our house a mess Come-in - sit down - converse. It doesn’t always look like this; Some days it’s even worse. by Author Unknown “My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?” -Erma Bombeck (Erma Louise Bombeck (1927 - 1996)) “The best time for planning a book is while you’re doing the dishes.” -Agatha Christie (Agatha Mary Clarissa Christie (1890 - 1976)) “You don’t get anything clean without getting something else dirty.” -Cecil Baxter (Cecil Richard Baxter (1922 - 2014)) “When it comes to housework, the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why.” -Katharine Whitehorn (Katharine Elizabeth Whitehorn (born 1928)): “Roundabout” (1962), ‘Nought for Homework’ Overheard: I got a new dishwasher today . . . I don’t know how long she will want the job. If the shelves are dusty and the pots don’t shine, It’s because I have better things to do with my time. -Author Unknown “The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.” -Author Unknown “There may be dust in my house but there isn’t any on me.” -Author Unknown “Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not a piece of advice, it is merely a custom.” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)) What I Like I like hugs And I like kisses, But what I really love Is help with the dishes! by Author Unknown Overheard: When it comes to house cleaning, I always keep the nuclear option open. May Scrub and polish, - sweep and clean, - Fling your windows wide! See, the trees are clad in green! Coax the Spring inside! Home, be shining fair to-day For the guest whose name is May! by Louise Bennett Weaver (Louise Bennett Weaver George (1889 - 1949)) and Helen Cowles LeCron (1886 - 1963): “A Thousand Ways to Please a Husband with Bettina’s Best Recipes” (1917) “Are you an untidy or forgetful housekeeper? Just remember this simple saying, ‘ABC - Always Be Cleaning.’” -Author Unknown “Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.” -Phyllis Diller (pseudonym of Phyllis Ada Driver (1917 - 2012)): as quoted in Jilly Cooper and Tom Hartman: “Violets and Vinegar” (1980), ‘I Liked You Better Smaller’ Housecleanin’ Time Well, housecleanin’ time is with us once more; And, landsakes alive, it’s an awful chore! What with scrubbin’, rubbin’, and washin’ paint, It’s not any picnic; you bet it ain’t! . . . For it has to be done each Spring and Fall: The attic and cellar, bedrooms and hall. Each room, in its order, gives up its dirt, Till I am weary and my back does hurt! by Gertrude Tooley Buckingham (born 1880) (1940’s) “My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.” -Bette Midler (born 1945) “This business is ‘really cleaning up’!” -Author Unknown: owner of a successful cleaning service “I make no secret of the fact that I would rather lie on the sofa than sweep underneath it. But you have to be efficient if you’re going to be lazy.” -Shirley Conran (born 1932): “Superwoman” (1975), ‘The Reason Why’ “At my house, ‘dust’ is a noun, not a verb.” -Author Unknown “Helping his wife wash the dishes, a minister protested, ‘This isn’t a man’s job.’ ‘Oh yes it is,’ his wife retorted, quoting 2nd Kings, chapter 21, verse 13: ‘I will wipe Jerusalem as a man wipeth a dish, wiping it, and turning it upside down.’” -Tal Bonham “Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door.” -Marcelene Cox “I think housework is the reason most women go to the office!” -Heloise Cruse (Ponce Kiah Marchelle Heloise Cruse Evans (born 1951)) “This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, ‘Honey, do this,’ and ‘Honey, do that,’ around the house.” -Jim Lemon (James Robert ‘Jim’ Lemon (1928 - 2006)) “One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.” -A. A. Milne (Alan Alexander Milne (1882 - 1956)) Overheard: I avoid cleaning my house because I get easily distracted by all of the interesting things I keep finding. “Housekeeping ain’t no joke.” -Louisa May Alcott (1832 - 1888): “Little Women” (1868), part 1, chapter 11; line spoken by cook Hannah “Always turn out your closet light. Otherwise, you’ll get up some morning and find you can’t start your closet.” -Charles Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000)) “An efficient homemaker is one who, after dinner, gives the children something to play with in the bathtub, namely, the dinner dishes!” -Author Unknown “A place for everything, and everything in its place.” -Author Unknown: proverb May the very lightness of your being have you walking on air . . . as you MFOL! each and every day . . .  It is very important to remember to smile as often as possible, because as we all know, there is not enough smiling going on in the world today . . .
“I really don’t know how to smile. Is there someplace I could get lessons, like a school or a seminar?” -Author Unknown “Smiling is a great way to look your best.” -Author Unknown “I add a smile to everything I wear and that has worked great for me.” -David White (1916 - 1990) “If you smile at someone, they might smile back.” -Author Unknown Smile I gave away my smile to the girl across the street. She gave it to her brother as they sat down to eat. Her brother gave it to their Mom, she wore it for a day. Then gave it to another girl whose name was Paula Kay. Paula took her smile outside and stood next to a tree. She put her hands upon her hips then gave it back to me. by Author Unknown “A smile can brighten someone’s day without using a penny’s worth of electricity.” -Author Unknown “Smiling is the best way to face every problem, to crush every fear, to hide every pain.” -Author Unknown Worry less, Smile more, Don’t regret, Just learn and grow! -Author Unknown “Always smile back at little children . . . to ignore them is to destroy their belief that the world is good.” -Pam Brown (Pamela Jane Barclay Brown (born 1948)) “If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.” -Author Unknown “‘SMILE’ is an acronym for, ‘See Miracles In Life Everyday.’” -Author Unknown “I have never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.” -Author Unknown “You’ll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile.” -Charlie Chaplin (Charles Spencer ‘Charlie’ Chaplin (1889 - 1977)) “It was only a sunny smile and little it cost in the giving but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)): “The Great Gatsby” (10 April 1925) “A smile is an act of kindness.” -A. D. Williams (Anthony Douglas Williams) “Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Marian Evans Cross, also known as Mary Ann Evans (1819 - 1880)) “A smile is something you can’t give away; it always comes back to you.” -Author Unknown “Sometimes it’s hard to force a smile, but sometimes we have to; it’s what gets us through the hard times.” -Author Unknown “A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.” -Charles Gordy (1871 -1944) “You want to know who’s got the most amazing and beautiful smile ever - read the first word of the sentence again!” -Author Unknown “Smile . . . there are more than seven billion people in the world - don’t let just one ruin your day.” -Author Unknown “Is a smile a question? Or is it the answer?” -Lee Smith “If you want people to like you, smile!” -Author Unknown “Nothing is more beautiful than a real smile that has struggled through tears.” -Author Unknown “The world always looks better from behind a smile.” -Author Unknown “A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994)) “Lose your smile and lose your customers.” -Sam Walton (1918 - 1992) “A smile is the shortest distance between two people.” -Victor Borge (1909 - 2000) “Let your smile change the world; don’t let the world change your smile.” -Author Unknown “A smile is worth much more than it costs.” -Author Unknown “Sometimes just a smile on our face can help to make this world a better place.” -Robert Alan “Smiles are great investments; the more you collect, the better you feel.” -Author Unknown “I would walk miles for one of your smiles.” -Author Unknown “A smile is the best makeup a girl can wear.” -Author Unknown “Smiling is my favorite exercise.” -Author Unknown “To receive a smile, give one away!” -Author Unknown “A smile is a frown turned upside down.” -Author Unknown “It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three muscles to frown.” -Author Unknown “A smile is the lighting system of the face, the cooling system of the head, and the heating system of the heart.” -Unknown “All people smile in the same language.” -Author Unknown “A smile is a powerful weapon; you can even break ice with it.” -Author Unknown “If you will force yourself to smile, you’ll end up laughing. You will be cheerful because you smile. Repeated experiments have shown that when a person assumes the facial expression of a given mental mood - any given mood - then that mental mood itself will follow.” -Kenneth Goode “A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.” -Phyllis Diller (pseudonym of Phyllis Ada Driver (1917 - 2012)) “After six years without seeing one, I love just seeing a smile - every smile I see gives me hope.” -Ingrid Betancourt (Ingrid Betancourt Pulecio (born 1961)) “A smile is the universal welcome.” -Max Eastman (1883 - 1969) “I smile because I do not know what in the world is going on.” -Author Unknown “A smile confuses an approaching frown.” -Author Unknown “Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there is so much to smile about.” -Marilyn Monroe (Norma Jean Mortenson (1926 - 1962)) “A smile makes you feel good, and when you feel good, good things happen.” -Terri Lynn “Smile! It increases your face value.” -Robert Harling (Robert M. Harling III (born 1951)): “Steel Magnolias” (5 November 1989) “A smile on your face will do wonders for your appearance. It will give you youthfulness and optimism that beauty treatments or counselling sessions never could.” -Author Unknown “Smile. The sunshine of your smile might chase the clouds from someone’s life today. It may be the ray of sunshine that someone needs in an otherwise stormy day.” -Author Unknown “A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.” -Denis Waitley (Denis E. Waitley (born 1933)) “Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody’s heart.” -Anthony J. D’Angelo “A smile appeared upon her face as if she’d taken it directly from her handbag and pinned it there.” -Loma Chandler Smile It comforts the weary, gladdens the sad consoles those in trouble, good or bad. To rich and poor, beggar or thief, it’s free to all of any belief. A natural gesture of young and old cheers on the faint, disarms the bold. Unlike most blessings for which we pray, it’s the only thing we keep when we give it away. by Author Unknown “Most smiles are started by another smile.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991)) Ten Reasons to Smile 1. It makes you attractive 2. It changes your mood. 3. It is contagious. 4. It relieves stress. 5. It boosts your immune system. 6. It lowers your blood pressure. 7. It releases endorphins. 8. It lifts the face and makes you appear younger. 9. It makes you seem successful. 10. It helps you stay positive. by Author Unknown “Learn to smile at every situation. See it as an opportunity to prove your strength and ability.” -Joe Brown “Smile, for everyone lacks self-confidence and more than any other one thing a smile reassures them.” -André Maurois (pseudonym of Émile Salomon Wilhelm Herzog (1885 - 1967)) “Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.” -Jim Beggs “A smile can brighten the darkest day.” -Author Unknown The Smile I had an extra smile When I left the house today I thought I’d give it to someone I passed along the way. I tried to give the smile away But incredibly Each time I gave it to someone They’d give it back to me. So now I have a bunch of smiles, What am I to do? I think I’ll keep a couple And then give the rest to you! by Author Unknown “What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life’s pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719) Smile and forgive; It’s the only way to live. -Author Unknown “People are not perfect - except when they smile.” -Author Unknown “If you did not start out the day with a smile, it is not too late to start practicing for tomorrow.” -Author Unknown “Just because a person smiles all the time, doesn’t mean their life is perfect. That smile is a symbol of hope and strength.” -Lauryn Hill (Lauryn Noelle Hill (born 1975)) Lost Your Smile? You haven’t lost your smile, It’s been there all the while, Just waiting for the word, That smiling’s back in style! by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “If you don’t have a smile, I’ll give you one of mine.” -Author Unknown “A smile of encouragement at the right moment may act like sunlight on a closed up flower; it may be the turning point for a struggling life.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997)) “Smiling is good for you and it is good for the people around you.” -Author Unknown “I hope you always find a reason to smile.” -Author Unknown “A smile gives your face something to do and it is good exercise and makes you look better.” -Author Unknown “Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.” -Author Unknown “We do not smile because something good has happened; rather something good happens because we smile.” -Author Unknown “If you’re not using your smile, you’re like a man with a million dollars in the bank and no checkbook.” -Les Giblin (born 1912) “Anyone can smile on their best day. I like to meet a man who can smile on his worst.” -Lauren Graham (Lauren Helen Graham (born 1967)): “Someday, Someday, Maybe” (30 April 2013) “Smile and the world will smile with you . . . Frown and it will leave you alone.” -Pamela Prichard “Smile, it’s the easiest way to improve your day.” -Author Unknown “Nobody needs a smile so much as the one who has none to give. So get used to smiling heart-warming smiles, and you will spread sunshine in a sometimes dreary world.” -Lawrence G. Lovasik (1913 - 1986) “Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” -Teresa of Calcutta (Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997)) “Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.” -Author Unknown, as quoted in H. Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940): “P.S. I Love You” (1990) “Smile - happy looks good on you!” -Author Unknown “Smile, even when life does not present reasons for doing so, because your smile is a reason for many others to smile.” -Author Unknown “Make it a regular habit to smile - and watch as miracles begin to happen all around you.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “Did you make someone smile today? You’ve still got time.” -Melissa Stewart You look amazing when you smile . . . you should do that more often. Now back to further humor and inspiration and learning . . . on MFOL!  “Forgiving is not forgetting, it’s letting go of the hurt.” -Mary McLeod Bethune (Mary Jane McLeod Bethune (1875 - 1955)) “Without forgiveness life is governed by . . . an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.” -Roberto Assagioli (1888 - 1974) “Don’t carry a grudge. While you’re carrying the grudge the other guy’s out dancing.” -Buddy Hackett (1924 - 2003) “The best revenge is a vow to never be like the one who hurt you.” -Author Unknown “Resentment or grudges do no harm to the person against whom you hold these feelings but every day and every night of your life, they are eating at you.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993) Forgiveness is a funny thing; It warms the heart and cools the sting. by William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994) “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” -Catherine Ponder (born 1927) “When you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.” -Author Unknown “Time spent in getting even would be better spent in getting ahead.” -Author Unknown “I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing.” -Bette Midler (born 1945) “Forgiveness means letting go of the past.” -Gerald Jampolsky (Gerald Gersham Jampolsky (born 1925)) “Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900)) “If you hug to yourself any resentment against anybody else, you destroy the bridge by which God would come to you.” -Peter Marshall (1902 - 1949) “Life is an adventure in forgiveness.” -Norman Cousins (1915 - 1990): as quoted in the “Saturday Review” (15 April 1978) “There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885)) “Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.” -Suzanne Somers (pseudonym of Suzanne Mahoney (born 1946)), website www.suzannesomers.com ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ Let’s let bygones be bygones And start all over again. Let us forget we parted And be the same as we started. Remember, the sunshine Must always follow the rain. So, let’s let bygones be bygones And start all over again. by Joseph George Gilbert: “Let Bygones Be Bygones” (1933), stanzas 1 and 2 ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ “The heaviest thing to carry is a grudge.” -Author Unknown “Don’t get even . . . get odd!” -Author Unknown “You must forgive those who trespass against you before you can look to Heaven for forgiveness.” -Author Unknown: “The Talmud” Good, to forgive; Best, to forget. by Robert Browning (1812 - 1889) “The best revenge is massive success.” -Frank Sinatra (1915 - 1998) “Let us forget and forgive injuries.” -Miguel de Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1547 - 1616)) “It is easier to forgive and forget than to resent and remember.” -Author Unknown “He that cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach Heaven; for all men need to be forgiven.” -George Herbert (1593 - 1633) “The best manner of avenging ourselves is by not resembling him who has injured us.” -Jane Porter (1776 - 1850) “The best revenge is to live on and prove yourself.” -Eddie Vedder (born 1964) “Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past, by old grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new business.” -Robin Casarjian “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” -Paul Boese (Paul Lewis Boese (1923 - 1976)) “Forgive, son; men are men; they needs must err.” -Euripides (484 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.) “Forgiveness takes the burden of hate, guilt, and bitterness off your back and, with a lighter load, you can climb higher and faster, and be much happier in the process.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012)) “I think there are two kinds of forgiveness: the kind that when you forgive you’re also giving them another chance, or the kind where you forgive, but move on without them. Use both wisely.” -S. B. “A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): “Essays” (1597) “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Luke,’ chapter 23, verse 34  “Since nothing we intend is ever faultless, and nothing we attempt ever without error, and nothing we achieve without some measure of finitude and fallibility we call humanness, we are saved by forgiveness.” -David Augsburger (David W. Augsburger (born 1938))
“How often could things be remedied by a word. How often is it left unspoken.” -Norman Douglas (1868 - 1952) “Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” -Jonathan Lockwood Huie (born 1945) “No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.” -George Nathan (George Jean Nathan (1882 - 1958)) “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.” -Mahatma Gandhi (Mohandas Karamchand ‘Mahatma’ Gandhi (1869 - 1948)) “Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace.” -Buddha (also known as Siddhārtha Guatama or Shakyamuni Buddha (about 563 B.C.E. - about 483 B.C.E.)) “The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.” -Marianne Williamson (born 1952) “Forgiveness is the final form of love.” -Reinhold Niebuhr (1892 - 1971) “Holding on to anger, resentment, and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache, and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.” -Joan Lunden (born 1950) “Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.” -Charlotte Brontë (1816 - 1855): “Jane Eyre” (1847), chapter VI “In taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy, but in passing it over he is superior.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): “Essays” (1597) “Nothing produces such odd result as trying to get even.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980)) “Let It Go: Forgive So That You Can Be Forgiven” (2013): title of book by T. D. Jakes (Thomas Dexter Jakes, Senior (born 1957)) “Hold hands, not grudges.” -Author Unknown “If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we would find in each person’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882) “Sometimes the best revenge is to smile and move on.” -Author Unknown “To forgive and forget means to throw away dearly bought experience.” -Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860) “Forgiveness is just another name for freedom.” -Byron Katie (born 1942) “People are more than the worst thing they have ever done in their lives.” -Helen Prejean (born 1939) “I must forgive without noise or fuss.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965) “Forgiving is not a gift to someone else. Forgiving is your gift to yourself - a great gift - the gift of happiness.” -Jonathan Lockwood Huie (born 1945) “He who forgives ends the quarrel.” -Author Unknown “Forgiveness is not an emotion, it’s a decision.” -Randall Worley “Holding a grudge does not hurt the person against whom the grudge is held, it hurts the one who holds it.” -Booker T. Washington (Booker Taliaferro Washington (1856 - 1915)) “Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945)) “Some people insist - often very forcefully - that we must both forgive and forget, or that we have to either forgive or forget . . . as if those are our only options. Those are not our only options. When what has been done to us is horrendous, it becomes unforgiveable and unforgettable, so we can only choose an eventual third option: We neither forgive nor forget, but we learn to move past the pain, the fear, the disappointment, and the constant awareness, to a point at which we can live our lives.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “Forgiveness does not mean excusing.” -C. S. Lewis (Clive Staples Lewis (1898 - 1963)) “The more a man knows, the more he forgives.” -Catherine II (also known as Catherine the Great (1729 - 1796)) “Forgotten is forgiven.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)) “Do not burn bridges that you might have to cross again someday.” -Author Unknown “Any man can seek revenge; it takes a king or prince to grant a pardon.” -Arthur J. Rehrat “The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway.” -Henry Boye “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” -Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744): “An Essay on Criticism” I forgive myself for having believed for so long that . . . I was never good enough to have, get, be what I wanted. -Ceanne DeRohan “Let not the Sun go down upon your wrath.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” Ephesians,’ chapter 4, verse 26 “Forgiveness is not something we do for other people. We do it for ourselves to get well and move on.” -Author Unknown “The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive, but do not forget.” -Thomas Szasz (1920 - 2012): “The Second Sin” (1973), ‘Personal Conduct’ “Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent free in your head.” -Author Unknown “I once met a man who had forgiven an injury. I hope some day to meet the man who has forgiven an insult.” -Thomas Buxton (Thomas Fowell Buxton (1786 - 1845)) “Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself.” -Harriet Nelson (Harriet Uts Nelson) “I forgive people, but that doesn’t mean I trust them.” -Author Unknown “Forgiving people can be extremely difficult, if not impossible, when you fear that people will wrong you again, and that once again, just as before, you will be powerless to stop them.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180)): “The Meditations” (C.E. 167), Book 6, meditation 5 “Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds.” -Sidney and Suzanne Simon “Nothing on Earth consumes a man more quickly than the passion of resentment.” -Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900): “Ecce Homo” (English: “Behold the Man”) (1888) “Forgive, forget. Bear with the faults of others as you would have them bear with yours. Be patient and understanding. Life is too short to be vengeful or malicious.” -Phillips Brooks (1835 - 1893) “Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it forgoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury.” -E. H. Chapin (Edwin Hubbell Chapin (1814 - 1880)): “Living Words” (1861) “Forgiveness is the noblest vengeance.” -H. G. Bohn (Henry George Bohn (1796 - 1884)) “Living well is the best revenge.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in George Herbert (1593 - 1633): “Jacula Prudentum; or Outlandish Proverbs, Sentences, &c. Selected by Mr. George Herbert” (1651), proverb 520 This is MFOL! . . . accompaniment for the journey called life . . . |
     
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