Make Fun Of Life!

This Hedgehog Is Seeing Something

11/29/2020

This hedgehog is seeing what is on www.MakeFunOfLife.net and is keenly interested . . . perhaps you will be too . . .

If you came here looking for fun, you are in the right place. Just travel down this page, skipping the ridiculous topics, until you come to the ones that appeal to you. When you have a moment, be sure to explore some of the other pages on the website, such as the Silly Pages and the Society Pages, which can be seen by clicking on the menu bar at the top of the sky above.

We are MFOL! . . . interesting to hedgehogs . . .

0 Comments

Astronomy

11/28/2020

0 Comments

Astronomy is for those who never stop looking up . . .

“We can’t all be stars, but we can all sparkle.” -Author Unknown

What are stars? Stars are massive spheres, or balls, of very hot burning gases, called plasma, held together by their own gravity. Most stars contain mostly hydrogen, with small amounts of helium. Some stars have tiny amounts of other elements as well.

“At night, an enormous blanket is placed over the Earth to keep it warm. The blanket is very old and worn out, and so it has many tiny holes in it. The holes where the Sun’s light comes through are called stars.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Stars form in nebulas, which are large gaseous areas of space. As gravity attracts and condenses more and more gas into clusters, young stars called protostars start to form.

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

Stars radiate energy created from nuclear fusion, which is a process that takes place in a star’s core and involves hydrogen fusing, or burning, to make helium. Once nuclear fusion has begun in the core, a star is sufficiently fueled to spend the majority of its life as a main sequence star, or twinkly thing, in its most stable form.

The Star

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
     How I wonder what you are.
Giant thermonuclear reaction,
     Held by gravitational attraction.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
     You look small ’cause you’re so far.
As you burn through constant fusion,
     Your twinkle’s just an optical illusion
That happens when your light gets near,
     Distorted by our atmosphere.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
     Spreading light and heat so far.
As you use up fuel you’ll grow,
     And give off a scarlet glow.
Maybe you’ll go supernova
     Exploding elements all over.
Now I know just what you are,
     And I know I’m made of stars.

by Author Unknown: parody of “The Star” by Jane Taylor (1806)

“Even a small star shines in the darkness.” -Author Unknown: Finnish proverb

A brown dwarf forms if a star does not become hot enough to reach nuclear fusion. While a brown dwarf has failed to become a proper star, it is not a planet because it does glow dimly.

“There are stars called white dwarfs and red giants . . . but, alas, no jelly donuts.” -Author Unknown

The most common stars are red dwarfs. They are less than half the size and mass of our Sun, and burn their fuel very slowly. Red dwarfs last longer than any other type of star, at more than 100 billion years. They are cooler than most stars, and so shine less, eventually growing dimmer.

“We are made of stardust. Every atom of every element in your body except for hydrogen has been manufactured inside stars, scattered across the Universe in great stellar explosions, and recycled to become part of you.” -John Gribbin (John R. Gribbin (born 1946)): “Stardust” (10 September 2000)

When smaller stars such as red dwarfs or red giants use up all of their fuel and nuclear fusion slows, they start to die, and become small white dwarf stars, which emit white light until they finally darken into black dwarfs.

“All men have stars, but they are not the same things for different people. For some, who are travelers, the stars are guides. For others they are no more than little lights in the sky. For others, who are scholars, they are problems . . . But all these stars are silent. You - you alone, will have stars as no one else has them . . .” -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (Antoine Marie Jean-Baptiste Roger (1900 - 1944))

A dwarf star is so dense that it would take eight people to lift a teaspoonful of its matter. As yellow dwarf stars like our Sun start to run out of hydrogen fuel, the core shrinks, heats, and pushes out the rest of the star, turning it into a red giant.

Wish Upon a Star

Star light, star bright,
     The first star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
     Have this wish I wish tonight.

by Author Unknown

Red supergiants, such as Betelgeuse in the constellation Orion, make our Sun look small, having 20 times its mass, and being 1,000 times bigger in size. Red hypergiants, such as the largest known star, VY Canis Majoris, are even bigger, at more than 1,800 times the size of our Sun.

“It is often in the darkest skies that we see the brightest stars.” -Author Unknown

Big stars like supergiants and hypergiants have shorter lives because they consume their fuel at a faster rate than smaller stars. As these massive stars die, they explode into massive bright supernovas.

“Why does someone believe you when you say there are four hundred billion stars in the sky, but when you say the paint is wet they have to touch it themselves to find out?” -Author Unknown

Star matter blown apart in supernova explosions forms new stellar nebulas (or nebulae), and the process of making stars begins all over again.

“Stars are beautiful, but they may not take an active part in anything; they must just look on forever. It is a punishment put on them for something they did so long ago that no star now knows what it is.” -J. M. Barrie (James Matthew Barrie (1860 - 1937)): “Peter Pan” (????)

Very heavy stars that go supernova can actually turn into black holes, while other supernovas leave behind white neutron stars that are 20 to 40 kilometers (12.5 to 25 miles) in diameter and have dense cores made of neutrons.

Riddle: I shine high in the sky - what am I?
Solution: I am a star.

As a star approaches the end of its life, it begins to change the helium into heavier chemical elements, such as carbon and oxygen, and the star will begin to change its color, density, mass, and size.

“With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand miles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress.” -Kurt Vonnegut, Junior (1922 - 2007): “The Sirens of Titan” (1959), type of work: novel; line spoken by fictional character Ransom K. Ferm (printed as Ransom K. Fern in some instances)

Astronomers . . . mapping the way to future homeworlds for humanity . . .

An ancient astronomer stayed up all night trying to figure out where the Sun had gone. In the morning, it finally dawned on him.

Stars range in color depending on how hot they are. In order from lowest to highest temperature, they can be brown, red, orange, yellow, white, or blue in color.

“Stars have always helped me to get things into perspective . . . I tried to let the starlight heal something deep in me that hurt.” -Madeleine L’Engle (Madeleine L’Engle Camp (1918 - 2007))

Stars are often between 1 and 10 billion years old. Some stars may even be close to the age of the observed Universe, at nearly 13.8 billion years old.

There are more stars in the Universe than there are grains of sand on all the beaches of the world. We know this because we have been traveling the world’s beaches with a pencil, a notebook, and a magnifying glass, counting all of the itsy-bitsy granules of sand . . . if you see us out there, be sure to say hello!

Stars

The stars are tiny daisies high,
     Opening and shutting in the sky.
The daisies are the stars below,
     Twinkling and sparkling as they grow.

by Authors Unknown

Each galaxy contains hundreds of billions of stars and there are estimated to be more than 100 billion galaxies in the Universe. The total number of stars in the Universe is mind boggling, estimated to be at least 70 sextillion and possibly as high as 300 sextillion, which is 300,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.

“Put three grains of sand inside a vast cathedral, and the cathedral will be more closely packed with sand than space is with stars.” -James Jeans (James Hopwood Jeans (1877 - 1946)): as attributed in Laurence J. Peter’s “Peter’s Quotations: Ideas for Our Time” (1993)

Our Milky Way Galaxy is an area in space crowded with lots of stars - so many that it resembles a road of spilled milk. That is how it got its name! There are estimated to be somewhere between 200 and 400 billion stars in the Milky Way.

Galaxies are speeding away from Earth at 90,000 miles per second. What do you suppose they know that we don’t?

The light emitted by 200,000 galaxies makes our Universe a shade of beige. Scientists call the color ‘cosmic latte.’ Of course, if a scientist is up late at night looking at stars, it might be because he or she is highly caffeinated.

“There they stand, the innumerable stars, shining in order like a living hymn, written in light.” -Nathaniel Parker Willis (1806 - 1867)

The light from stars takes millions of years to reach Earth, so when you look at the stars, you are literally looking back in time.

“The stars are not so strange as the mind that studies them, analyzes their light, and measures their distances.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969): “On Being a Real Person” (1943)

While a clear night sky may appear to be full of stars, there are really only about 2,000 to 3,000 stars visible to the unaided eye, meaning without the use of a telescope. These stars are all either close to the Earth or intensely luminous, meaning very bright, like yourself.

Visiting an observatory, the backwoods man watched the astronomer look through his telescope. Just then a star fell. “Wow-wee!” exclaimed the man. “You sure are a great shot!”

Stars only appear to twinkle because we see them through the Earth’s atmosphere. Stars shine at an unblinking steady state, but atmospheric disturbances called eddies, which we experience as slight breezes and winds, make stars look sparkly.

If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day. We know this because we spend a lot of time hanging out at the bottom of old wells and chimneys . . .

At an average distance of just 149,597,870 kilometers (92,955,807 miles), the nearest star to Earth is a yellow dwarf star called the Sun. The next nearest star to Earth is a red dwarf star called Proxima Centauri, also known as Alpha Centauri C. It was discovered in 1915 by Scottish astronomer Robert Innes while he was working at the Union Observatory in Johannesburg, South Africa. It is about 39.9 trillion kilometers (24.79 trillion miles) or 4.25 light years away. Light from this star reaches Earth in 4.25 years. A spacecraft using the newest, fastest propulsion systems would take about 75,000 years to get there.

Arnold: Did you know there’s a star called the Dog Star?
Owen: Are you Sirius?

Binary stars and multi-star systems are made up of two or more stars that are gravitationally linked, so that they orbit around each other.

“There wouldn’t be a sky full of stars if we were all meant to wish on the same one.” -Frances Clark (Frances Mary Clark (1860 - 1958))

A comet is a relatively small solar system body that orbits the Sun. When close enough to the Sun, comets display a visible coma, which is a fuzzy outline or atmosphere due to solar radiation, and sometimes also a tail.

When asked about flying saucers, the astronomer replied, “No comet.”

Asteroids are small solar system bodies that orbit the Sun. Made of rock and metal, they can also contain organic compounds. Asteroids are similar to comets but do not have a visible coma (fuzzy outline and tail) like comets do.

“Telescope: A device for bringing the sky closer.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

A meteoroid is a small rock or particle of debris in our solar system. They range in size from dust to around 10 meters in diameter. Larger objects are usually referred to as asteroids.

Star

Star light, star bright,
     First star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
     No - it’s just a satellite!

by Author Unknown

So-called ‘shooting stars’ and ‘falling stars’ are not actually stars, but are meteors. A meteoroid that burns up as it passes through the Earth’s atmosphere is known as a meteor. A meteoroid that survives falling through the Earth’s atmosphere and colliding with the Earth’s surface is known as a meteorite.

The odds of anyone being struck by a meteorite are said to be ‘astronomical.’

֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎

When You Wish Upon a Star

When you wish upon a star
     Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
     Will come to you.

If your heart is in your dreams
     No request is to extreme
When you wish upon a star
     As dreamers do.

Fate is kind
     She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment
     of their secret longing.

Like a bolt out of the blue
     Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
     Your dreams come true.

If your heart is in your dreams
     No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
     As dreamers do.

When you wish upon a star
     Your dream comes true.

by Jesse McCartney

֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍
l i v e  ☆  l a u g h  ツ  www.MakeFunOfLife.net  ♥  l o v e  ☼  g r o w
֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎◦֍◦֎

Stars have played important roles throughout human history. They have become a part of religions, been grouped into constellations, used in astrology, helped to design calendars, and were very important navigational tools for early explorations across lands and seas.

“Silently, one by one in the infinite meadows of Heaven, blossomed the lovely stars, the forget-me-nots of angels.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

If you would like to keep up-to-date on the goings on in a whole Universe of stars, click on the link www.StarDate.org.

Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul.
Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.
-Pamela Vaull Starr (pseudonym of Violet Isabelle (Carter) Popp (1909 - 1993))

At MFOL! we think stars are, like, so stellar . . . and far out, too! Yeah, we know, we’re kinda weird sometimes . . . now go have fun with your life!

0 Comments

Cats and Dogs

11/26/2020

0 Comments

If you are having difficulty deciding whether to get a cat or a dog, we may be able to help . . .

One trait cats and dogs have in common is that they will both look up to you . . . but they look at you differently.

“If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because you lap is warmer.” -Alfred North Whitehead

“Your cat will never threaten your popularity by barking at three in the morning. He won’t attack the mailman or eat the drapes, although he may climb the drapes to see how the room looks from the ceiling.” -Helen Powers

“In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.” -Dereke Bruce

When cats chase their prey, they keep their heads level. Dogs and humans bob their heads up and down when chasing prey. Ducks cannot waddle, waddle, quack, quack without bobbing their heads. This could be a whole new way of looking at animals!

In contrast to dogs, cats have not undergone major changes during the attempted domestication process.

“You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.” -George Mikes: “How to Be Decadent” (1 January 1977)

Spot: What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat?
Fluffy: An animal that chases itself.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

Who Needs a Man?
- If you want someone who can scare away burglars without using a lethal weapon, get a dog.
- If you want someone who eats whatever you put in front of him and never says his mother made it better, get a dog.
- If you want someone who is always eager to go out anytime you ask and anywhere you want to go, get a dog.
- If you want someone who never criticizes anything you do, does not care how good or bad you look, acts as though every word you say is worth hearing, never complains, and loves you unconditionally all the time, get a dog!
- If you want someone who never touches the remote, could care less about Monday Night Football, and watches dramatic movies with you as long as you want, get a dog.
- If you want someone who will bring you the newspaper without tearing through it first for the sports page, get a dog.
- If you want someone who will do anything to please you, get a dog.
- If you want someone who will make a total fool of himself because he is so glad to see you, get a dog.

On the other hand . . .
- If you want someone who never comes when you call him, totally ignores you when you walk in the room, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, prowls around all night and comes home only to eat and sleep all day, and acts as though you are there only to see that he is happy . . . get a cat.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○
Dogs have lived with humans for more than 14,000 years. Cats have lived with humans for only 7,000 years.

A dog thinks: Wow, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . They are amazing! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . I am amazing!

“Cat people are different, to the extent that they generally are not conformist. How could they be, with a cat running their lives?” -Louis J. Camuti

Every cat thinks he’s the cat’s meow, until he hears the dog’s bark, at which time he high-tails himself out of there.

Fuzzy: Why do you need a license for a dog and not for a cat?
Bowzer: Because cats cannot drive.

Cat brains are biologically more similar to human brains than they are to dog brains. Both humans and cats have identical regions in their brains that are responsible for emotions.

“A dog is a dog, but a cat is a purrrrson.” -Author Unknown

“Dogs have masters, cats have support staff.” -Author Unknown

“When you have a cat, you can never be quite sure which one of you is the pet, or as someone once said, cats make great pets - out of their owners.” -Author Unknown

“Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this because of all the time they spend on personal grooming. Dogs aren’t like this. A dog’s idea of personal grooming is to roll on a dead fish.” -James Gorman

Cats can make more than 100 different vocal sounds. Dogs make only about 10. Conclusion: Cats talk too much - unless you have one of those dogs that barks all day and all night, of course . . . arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf . . .

“Cats make ‘purrrfectly’ marvelous pets, but dogs make ‘doggone’ good pets.” -Author Unknown

“Dogs come when they’re called. Cats take a message and get back to you.” -Mary Bly

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○
Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary and a Cat’s Diary

The Dog’s Diary:
Day number 180
8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite!
10:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Yard! My Favorite!
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
5:00 PM - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
5:30 PM - Oh Boy! Mom! My Favorite!
Day number 181
8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite!
10:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Yard! My Favorite!
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
5:00 PM - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
5:30 PM - Oh Boy! Mom! My Favorite!
Day number 182
8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite!
10:30 am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Yard! My Favorite!
1:30 pm - Ooooooo. Bath. Bummer.
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
5:00 PM - Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
5:30 PM - Oh Boy! Mom! My Favorite!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary
Day 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Day 761 - Today my attempt to thwart my captors and escape by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again scratched their favorite chair . . . I must try this on their favorite lampshade.
Day 765 - Pounced on a mouse and brought it to them, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was . . . Hmmm, this is not working according to plan.
Day 768 - I am finally aware of how cruel they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning foamy chemical called shampoo. What horrible minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
Day 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
Day 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be tattle-tales. The dog is routinely released and seems more than a little happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his present placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○
l i v e  ☆  l a u g h  ツ  www.MakeFunOfLife.net  ♥  l o v e  ☼  g r o w
○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

Perhaps dogs chase cars because of their herding instinct: A dog sees your vehicle pulling away from the rest of the vehicles parked alongside the curbs and in the driveways. The dogs thinks, “One of them is straying from the rest of the flock, I must get it back with the others! Woof, woof!”

Would you rather be a dog and chase cars that you will never catch, or be a cat and climb trees and get stuck in them?

“The cat could very well be man’s best friend, but would never stoop to admitting it.” -Doug Larson (1902 - 1981)

Furball: How can you get a cat to do tricks?
Fido: Put a dog in a cat suit.

“Chaos: What happens when a dog person marries a cat person.” -Author Unknown

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○
l i v e  ☆  l a u g h  ツ  www.MakeFunOfLife.net  ♥  l o v e  ☼  g r o w
○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○
Dog and Cat Owners Have Different Personalities

Dog owners and cat owners are as different as night and day, says an expert - who reveals the distinctive personality traits of each. People are like their pets, said Dr. Vinsey, Professor of Anthropology at Pace University in New York City, who made a six-year study of pets and their owners.

Dr. Vinsey characterizes dog owners this way:
- They tend to be more outgoing and sociable and they are more apt to be openly affectionate.
- Dog owners are more generous and helpful. They are more ambitious and assertive and more apt to take risks to reach their goals.
- Dog owners are more ‘outdoorsy’ - they love to tramp the hills, go camping, and participate in active, energetic sports.

Cat owners are a different type says Dr. Vinsey:
- They tend to be well-read, articulate and cultured and more imaginative, creative and curious than dog owners.
- They are more apt to be loners. They enjoy privacy and tend to be aloof until they know someone well.
- Cat lovers are comfort lovers and tend to pamper themselves. They’re more finicky and choosy, have exotic tastes and are nonconformists. They also tend to be more opinionated and independent.
- Cat owners are indoor people. Their greatest joy is to curl up in front of a fire with a good book or a television miniseries to view.

But both cat and dog owners are far more flexible than people who don’t own pets, said the doctor. They take a less rigid approach to life and adjust more easily to changes in plans or circumstances, she said.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○
l i v e  ☆  l a u g h  ツ  www.MakeFunOfLife.net  ♥  l o v e  ☼  g r o w
○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

“Cat’s Motto: No matter what you’ve done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.” -Author Unknown

Dogs are mentioned 44 times in “The Bible,” 35 times in the ‘Old Testament,’ and 9 times in the ‘New Testament.’ Curiously, cats are not mentioned anywhere in “The Bible.”

Cat hearing is better than dog hearing. Cats can hear sounds up to two octaves higher than humans can hear - but they will never tell you this, preferring to keep this ability exclusively for their own benefit.

Proof that cats are smarter than dogs: You will never find a dozen cats pulling a sled through the snow. They know the best place to be in the winter is curled up in front of the fireplace.

“As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.” -Ellen Perry Berkeley

While cats have only about 473 taste buds and do not have a ‘sweet tooth,’ dogs have about 1,700 taste buds, and appear to like sweets much more than cats do. Humans have approximately 9,000 taste buds.

“A dog, I have always said, is prose; a cat is a poem.” -Jean Burden

Good news: You do not have to choose between having a pet cat or having a pet dog - just get six of each, and then you’ll have an even dozen . . . your neighbors will not know if they should call you the eccentric cat person, the eccentric dog person, or the zookeeper!

Information appearing on the Make Fun Of Life! Website is most likely fictitious . . . Any resemblance to actual facts is probably coincidental . . . including the line you have just read . . .

0 Comments

Waiting and Patience

11/21/2020

0 Comments

Everybody’s waiting for something . . .

“Good things come to those who wait - but better things come to those who work for it.” -Author Unknown

“I was not born to wait.” -Gwenda Bond: “Double Down” (1 May 2016)

“I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“Beware the Fury of a Patient Man.” -John Dryden (1631 - 1700): “Absalom and Achitophel” (1681), Part 1, line 1005; type of work: satiric poem

“Patience is the ability to count down without blasting off.” -Author Unknown

“You’re trying to eat grass that isn’t there. Why don’t you give it a chance to grow?” -Richard Adams (1920 - 2016): “Watership Down” (November 1972)

Pay-Off

All things may come
To those who wait,
But when they do,
They’re out of date.

by George Hill

“If you are patient in a moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” -Author Unknown

“Be patient with your impatience.” -Roy Masters (born 1928 as Reuben Obermeister)

“The secret of patience is to do something else in the meantime.” -Croft M. Pentz (Croft Miner Pentz (1931 -2008))

“Things come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle*.” -attributed to Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
* hustle: to put forth effort energetically.

“What is done hastily is not done well.” -Author Unknown

“Everything comes too late for those who only wait.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

Overheard: Patience is something that can only be learned by waiting.

“‘Patience is a virtue’ is always said by those who make others wait, and never by those who must wait.” -Author Unknown

“There is, however, a limit at which forbearance ceases to be a virtue.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797): “Observations on a Late Publication on the Present State of the Nation”

“The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.” -Arnold H. Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“Patience is powerful.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

“How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young?” -Paul Sweeney (born 1955)

“In putting off what one has to do, one runs the risk of never being able to do it.” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)

Once upon a time, there was a man who was very impatient with other people. To him, everyone seemed to be too slow to understand and too slow to do the right things. Also to him, people seemed too quick to come to the wrong conclusions and too quick to do the wrong things. The more the man had to deal with people, the more impatient he became with them, so he decided that he must get away from people until he could learn how to be patient. He built himself a little home deep in the woods, and far away from civilization, and lived as a hermit. Years later, a man was hiking through the woods, and met the impatient man. The hiker was amazed to find anyone living so deep in the woods and so far away from the rest of the world, so he asked the man why he was there all by himself. The man said that he was there to learn patience. The hiker asked how long he had been living all alone in the woods, and the man replied, “Thirty-one years.” Stunned, the hiker asked, “If there are no other people around you, how will you know when you have learned to be patient?” Annoyed by this lengthy conversation, the impatient man replied, “Go away, I have no time for you.”

“You will develop patience if you wait long enough.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is also a form of action.” -Auguste Rodin (also known as François Auguste René Rodin or Auguste-René Rodin (1840 - 1917))

Macrophobia is a fear of long waits. Personally, we are afraid of short waits. “The dentist will see you now.” “Oh, no . . . couldn’t we wait just a little longer?”

“Lateness is rudeness - always. There is no such thing as being ‘fashionably late.’ If you are running late, call to let your host know.” -Author Unknown

‘Hurry up and wait!’ could be the slogan of many individuals and organizations. Military people are familiar with this saying. People with government appointments may have heard this saying. People with medical appointments may suspect that this is what is going on. You make all kinds of advance preparations in order to be absolutely certain that you have everything ready that they require, and you make sure that you are not just on time, but at least a few minutes early - and what happens? You are made to wait for hours, because the people who insisted that you show up prepared and on time did not make the same efforts to be sure they were prepared and on time to meet you! It can be hard not to feel that these people do not respect you and that they are stealing your time away from you.

“Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.” -John Quincy Adams (1767 - 1848)

“All things come to those who wait - provided they work continually while waiting.” -Author Unknown

“Patience with others is love. Patience with self is hope. Patience with God is faith.” -Adel Bestavros (Adel Azer Bestavros (1924 - 2005))

“Men count up the faults of those who keep them waiting.” -Author Unknown: French proverb

“How poor are they who have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Othello” (1603), Act ii, scene 3

Overheard: Thank you for your patience.

“Patience is the greatest of all virtues.” -Cato the Elder (Marcus Porcius Cato (233 B.C.E. - 148 B.C.E.))

“Punctuality is the stern virtue of men of business, and the graceful courtesy of princes.” -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)

“If you have been waiting for someone or something for so long that you can actually feel yourself getting older while you wait, then you know that you have been waiting too long.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“An over-taxed patience gives way to fierce anger.” [translation to English]
“Furor fit læsa sæpius patientia.” [original Latin]
-Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): “Sententiae,” Maxim 289

“Patience will come to him who waits for it.” -Author Unknown

“If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb

“Patience is a key element of success.” -Bill Gates (born 1955)

“It is better to have a hen tomorrow than an egg today.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734)

“There is nothing to be gained by waiting for a better situation. You see where you are and you do what you can with that.” -Jacob K. Javits (Jacob Koppel Javits (1904 - 1986))

“Patience is not simply the ability to wait. It’s how we behave while we’re waiting.” -Joyce Meyer (born 1943 as Pauline Joyce Hutchison)

“If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.” -Larry McMurtry (born 1936): “Some Can Whistle” (1989)

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” [translation to English]
“La patience est amère, mais son fruit est doux.” [original French]
-Jean Chardin (1643 - 1713): “Voyages en Perse et autres lieux de l’Orient” (1711), page 175

“Our patience will achieve more than our force.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797): “Reflections on the Revolution in France” (1790)

“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself.” -Francis de Sales (1567 - 1622)

“Abused Patience turns to Fury.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 757

“When you are tempted to lose patience with someone, think how patient God has been with you all the time.” -Author Unknown

“You can chase a butterfly all over the field and never catch it. But if you sit quietly in the grass it will come and sit on your shoulder.” -Author Unknown

“No great thing is created suddenly.” -Epictetus (C.E. 55 - C.E. 135)

“Patience means self-suffering.” -Mahatma Gandhi (Mohandas Karamchand ‘Mahatma’ Gandhi (1869 - 1948))

“Waiting is one thing, but when people force us to wait for an exorbitant amount of time, they are actually taking a part of our lives away from us, because time is a measure of life.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“He that can have patience can have what he will.” -Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790): “Poor Richard’s Almanack” (June 1736)

“Even the nicest person’s patience has a limit.” -Author Unknown

“I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.” -E. V. Lucas (Edward Verrall Lucas (1868 - 1938)): “365 Days and One More” (1926), ‘October 3’

“Patience is the art of hoping.” [translation to English]
“La patience est l’art d’espérer.” [original French]
-Luc de Clapiers, Marquis de Vauvenargues (1715 - 1747): “Réflexions” (1746), CCLI

“Patience and tenacity of purpose are worth more than twice their weight of cleverness.” -T. H. Huxley (Thomas Henry Huxley (1825 - 1895))

“Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.” -Guy Kawasaki (Guy Takeo Kawasaki (born 1954))

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.” -David G. Allen (born 1945)

“If you wait until all the lights are ‘green’ before you leave home, you’ll never get started on your trip to the top.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“When you are tempted to lose patience with God, remember how patient God has been with you.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is a virtue. The Moon and the Sun learned long ago that, if each patiently waits its turn, they will both have their chance to shine.” -Author Unknown

“Please be patient. God has not finished with me yet.” -Author Unknown

“Good things come to those who believe, better things come to those who are patient, and the best things come to those who don’t give up.” -Author Unknown

This is life’s dilemma and it is sure as fate
Some things can’t be hurried and other things can’t wait.
-Author Unknown

Overheard: Good things take time.

“Patience is the companion of wisdom.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis and Aurelius Augustine (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430))

“Your capacity for patience will be rewarded eventually.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is the ability to let your light shine after your fuse has blown.” -Bob Levey

“A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.” -George Savile (also known as Lord Halifax (1633 - 1695))

“Even a waiter finally comes to him who waits.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is the ability to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without becoming angry or upset.” -Author Unknown

“The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.” -Author Unknown

“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

The two most common meanings of patience are as follows.
1. To wait without being frustrated, angry, complaining, and so forth.
2. To understandingly bear with the faults of others.

“Impatience can cause wise people to do foolish things.” -Janette Oke (born 1935)

“I feel like I’m waiting for something that isn’t going to happen.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is a necessary ingredient of genius.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“People wait all week for Friday, all year for Summer, all of a lifetime for happiness.” -Author Unknown

“Impatience never commanded success.” -Edwin H. Chapin (Edwin Hubbell Chapin (1814 - 1880))

A little boy was standing patiently at the bottom of an escalator in a big department store. A saleswoman asked him, “Sonny, are you lost?” The boy answered, “No ma’am, I’m waiting for my chewing gum to come back.”

“The man who is waiting for something to turn up might start on his shirt sleeves.” -Garth Henrichs (Garth Harold Henrichs, Senior (1903 - 2002))

“Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

Overheard: Be patient with people - nobody is perfect.

“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

We would be flattering ourselves if we said that this topic was certainly worth waiting for . . . more fun and learning continues next . . . on MFOL!

0 Comments

Ships and Sailors

11/18/2020

0 Comments

Across the mighty seas they sailed, in tiny wooden ships, pushed along by the currents in the water and the currents in the air . . . Are we there yet? How much longer is this going to take? Is that what a sea monster is supposed to look like?

Iron Men and Wooden Ships

Said a salty old skipper from Wales,
“Number One, it’s all right to chew nails.
     It impresses the crew,
     It impresses me, too.
But stop spitting holes in the sails!”

by John Ciardi (John Anthony Ciardi (1916 - 1986))

“Land was created to provide a place for boats to visit.” -Brooks Atkinson (Justin Brooks ‘Brooks’ Atkinson (1894 - 1984))

Never a ship sails out of the bay
     But carries my heart as a stowaway.
-Roselle Mercier Montgomery (1874 - 1933): “Ulysses Returns, and Other Poems” (1925), ‘The Stowaway’

“Sailors, with their built in sense of order, service, and discipline, should really be running the world.” -Nicholas Monsarrat (Nicholas John Turney Monsarrat (1910 - 1979))

“It is not the ship so much as the skillful sailing that assures the prosperous voyage.” -George William Curtis (1824 - 1892)

“If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it!” -Jonathan Winters (Jonathan Harshman Winters III (1925 - 2013))

Math Problem: A ship has a ladder with twelve rungs, and each rung is a foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water’s surface. The tide rises at 12 inches every 15 minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at its highest, how many rungs will be under water?
Solution: None; as the tide rises, the ship and the ladder attached to it will rise with the tide.

“When a man comes to like a sea life, he is not fit to live on land.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

Ships

Little ships
     Must keep to the shore;
Larger ships
     May venture more.

by Author Unknown

“Out of sight of land the sailor feels safe. It is the beach that worries him.” -Charles G. Davis (Charles Gerard Davis (1870 - 1959))

“Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.” [translation to English]
“In tranquillo esse quisque gubernator potest.” [original Latin]
-Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): “Sententiae,” Maxim 358

“Sailing ships: Mast transit.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are for.” -John A. Shedd (John Augustus Shedd (1859 - 1928)): “Salt from My Attic” (1928), page 20 (similar quotation attributed to William G. T. Shedd)

“These tall and handsome ships, swaying imperceptibly on tranquil waters, these sturdy ships, with their inactive, nostalgic appearance, don’t they say to us in a speechless tongue: When do we cast off for happiness?” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)

“Two captains will sink the ship.” -Author Unknown: Turkish proverb

“Too many captains run the ship aground.” -Author Unknown: Greek proverb
(Similar to: “Too many cooks spoil the broth.” -Author Unknown)

“You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don’t let yourself indulge in vain wishes.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

“Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.” -Author Unknown

“However bad the storm you are in, there is still Sun somewhere over your horizon.” -Ken Nutt (Ken Eric Nutt (born 1951))

“When in danger or in doubt, port your helm and come about.” -Author Unknown

“All the water in the world, however hard it tries, can never sink the smallest ship unless it gets inside, and all the evil in the world, the blackest kind of sin, can never hurt you in the least, unless you let it in.” -Author Unknown

“In a calm sea every man is a pilot.” -Author Unknown: Spanish proverb

A shipwrecked sailor spent nearly three years on a desert island. One morning he was overjoyed to see a ship in the bay and a boat pulling onto shore. As the boat grounded on the beach, an officer jumped out and threw the sailor a pile of newspapers. “The captain’s compliments,” said the officer, “and will you please read through these and let him know whether you still wish to be rescued?”

A fully loaded supertanker traveling at normal speed takes a least 20 minutes to come to a full stop.

Danny: Why couldn’t the sailors play cards?
Tammy: Because the captain was standing on the deck.

“Men in a ship are always looking up, and men ashore are usually looking down.” -John Masefield (1878 - 1967)

The right side of a ship is called the starboard side because astronavigators would stand out on the plank (which was on the right side) to get an unobstructed view of the stars. The left side is called the port side because that is the side put in on at ports. Fore refers to the front or forward part of a ship, and aft refers to the back, or after part of a ship.

“A man should learn to sail in all winds.” -Author Unknown: Italian proverb

“I don’t know who named them swells. There’s nothing swell about them. They should have named them awfuls.” -Hugo Vihlen (born 1931)

“Ships are the nearest things to dreams that hands have ever made.” -Robert N. Rose

The first sailing boats were built in ancient Egypt.

“A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.” -John George Hermanson (1866 - 1944)

“Ships don’t sink because of the water around them. Ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.” -Author Unknown

Friendship: A ship full of friends.

Mary: What kind of ship doesn’t sink?
Gary: A friendship.

“There are big ships and small ships. But the best ship of all is friendship.” -Author Unknown

“To sail is necessary.” [translation to English]
“Navigare necesse est.” [original Latin]
-Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus (5th century C.E.)

“The winds and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.” -Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794): “The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire” (1776 - 1789), Volume 1 (1776), Chapter 68

Jen: Why do sailors have trouble learning the alphabet?
Ben: Because ships sail from A to B with sea between.

“The goal is not to sail the boat, but rather to help the boat sail herself.”
-John Rousmaniere (born 1944)

Sally: What sits on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
Salvador: A nervous wreck.

“The sea is the same as it has been since before men ever went on it in boats.” -Ernest Hemingway (Ernest Miller Hemingway (1899 - 1961))

“A small hole can sink a big ship.” -Author Unknown: Russian proverb

Mackerel skies and mares tails,
Soon will be time to shorten sails.
-Author Unknown

“To reach a port, we must sail - sail, not lie at anchor - sail, not drift.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt (Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882 - 1945))

Riddle:
I fly to any foreign parts,
     Assisted by my spreading wings:
My body holds an hundred hearts,
     Nay, I will tell you stranger things:
When I am not in haste I ride,
     And then I mend my pace anon;
I issue fire from my side:
     You witty youths, this riddle answer.
Solution:
I am a sailing ship.

“Don’t let the fear of a storm keep you from sailing the ship.” -Calyn Whitley

“If my ship sails from sight, it doesn’t mean my journey ends, it simply means the river bends.” -J. Enoch Powell (John Enoch ‘Enoch’ Powell (1912 - 1998))

“The good seaman is known in bad weather.” -Author Unknown

“Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea.” -Charles Cook

“A sailor without a destination cannot hope for a favorable wind.” -Leon Tec (1919 - 2013)

“‘A man who is not afraid of the sea will soon be drownded,’ he said, ‘for he will be going out on a day he shouldn’t. But we do be afraid of the sea, and we do only be drownded now and again.’” -John Millington Synge (1871 - 1909): “The Aran Islands” (1907)

Two ships were loaded with cargoes of paint. One had red paint, and the other had blue paint. The ships collided. At last report, the survivors were marooned.

“I keep sailing on in this middle passage. I am sailing into the wind and the dark. But I am doing my best to keep my boat steady and my sails full.” -Arthur Ashe (1943 - 1993)

Horatio Nelson, one of England’s most illustrious admirals, was throughout his lifetime never able to find a cure for his seasickness.

“No wind is a good wind if you don’t know where the harbor is.” -Author Unknown: proverb

“Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Make not your sail too big for your ballast.” -Author Unknown: English proverb

The Titanic was built in Belfast, Ireland. However, it was not the place where it was built that led to its sinking, or the quality of the work, but the design of the ship that resulted in its sinking.

Red sky by morning, sailor take warning.
Red sky at night, sailor’s delight.
-Author Unknown

“No man can say he has been to sea until he has lost sight of land.” -Author Unknown

1 nautical knot equals 1.852 kilometers, or 1.150 miles, per hour. It does not refer to the knots a sailor ties in a rope.

“At sea, I learned how little a person needs, not how much.” -Robin Lee Graham (born 1949)

“A sailor’s joys are as simple as a child’s.” -Bernard Moitessier (1925 - 1994)

“A small Leak will sink a great Ship.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia” (1732), number 407

“No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“He that will not sail till all dangers are over must never put to sea.” -Thomas Fuller (1608 - 1661)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Pleasant Ship

I saw a ship a-sailing,
     A-sailing on the sea,
And oh! it was all laden
     With pretty things for thee!

There were comfits in the cabin,
     And apples in the hold;
The sails were made of silk,
     And the masts were made of gold.

The four-and-twenty sailors
     That stood between the decks
Were four-and-twenty white mice,
     With chains about their necks.

The captain was a duck,
     With a packet on his back,
And when the ship began to move,
     The captain said, “Quack! Quack!”

by Emilie Poulsson (Anne Emilie Poulsson (1853 - 1939))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
l i v e  ☆  l a u g h  ツ  www.MakeFunOfLife.net  ♥  l o v e  ☼  g r o w
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails.” -Author Unknown

“There are parts of a ship which taken by themselves would sink. The engine would sink. The propeller would sink. But when the parts of a ship are built together, they float. So with the events of my life. Some have been tragic. Some have been happy. But when they are built together, they form a craft that floats and is going places. And I am comforted.” -Ralph W. Sockman (Ralph Washington Sockman (1889 - 1970))

“Life isn’t about waiting for the winds to change, it’s about learning to adjust your sails.” -Author Unknown

“Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world.” -H. Melville (Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)): “Moby Dick” (1851), opening line

“I wanted freedom, open air, and adventure. I found it on the sea.” -Alaine Gerbault (Alain Jacques Georges Marie Gerbault (1893 - 1941))

In the days of yore, ships sailed over the seas, carrying exotic cargoes and sailors who regaled landlubbers with stories of strange faraway places, much like the strangeness following this topic in the days of now . . . on MFOL!

0 Comments

Loneliness and Solitude

11/13/2020

0 Comments

If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you are not alone in what you are experiencing . . . and yet you are alone . . . so very, very alone . . .

“You call it being alone. I call it enjoying my own company.” -Author Unknown

“They are never alone that are accompanied with noble thoughts.” -Philip Sidney (1554 - 1586)

“I was never less alone than when by myself.” -Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794): “Memoir” (1796), Volume 1, page 117

“People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.” -Kim Culbertson

Jered: Why are bananas never lonely?
Derek: Because they hang around in bunches!

Sometimes

Sometimes I like to be alone
And look up at the sky
And think my thoughts inside my head -
Just me, myself, and I.

by Mary Ann Hoberman (born 1930)

“In the silence of night I have often wished for just a few words of love from one man, rather than the applause of thousands of people.” -Judy Garland (Frances Gumm (1922 - 1969)): as quoted in Barbara Rowes: “The Book of Quotes” (1979)

“Dear sidewalk, please get wider. Sincerely, third friend walking behind feeling excluded.” -Author Unknown

“More than any other human problem, loneliness, the absence of meaningful human connection, drains the joy and sense of purpose from our lives. It explains why people go to shopping centers when they have no intention of shopping. They just need to be somewhere where other people are, hoping that among the hundreds of strangers passing by, they will find one familiar face. It explains why people come home from work or school and immediately switch on the television. They are not interested in the program much of the time, they do not even know what is on. But they are desperate for the sound of another human voice in their lives.” -Harold Kushner (Harold Samuel Kushner (born 1935))

“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

“The difference between solitude and loneliness is the quality of the company we keep.” -Author Unknown

How to Cope with Loneliness
- Adopt a pet.
- Take up a hobby or a cause.
- Keep busy with whatever you can find to do.
- Help others or become a volunteer.
- Make friends of strangers.
- Go to places where other people go.
- What can you add to this list?

“There is a French proverb: To live happy, live hidden. Where can Brigitte Bardot hide?” -Brigitte Bardot (born 1934)

“Grant me the ability to be alone, may it be my custom to go outdoors each day among the trees and grasses, among all growing things, and there may I be alone, and enter into prayer to talk with the one that I belong to.” -Nachman of Breslov (1772 - 1810)

There are times when you want to be alone - but the world will not let you alone!

“I never said, ‘I want to be alone.’ I only said, ‘I want to be left alone.’ There is all the difference.” -Greta Garbo (Greta Lovisa Gustafsson (1905 - 1990))

“Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius.” -Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794)

“Loneliness is the way by which destiny endeavors to lead man to himself.” -Hermann Hesse (1877 - 1962): “Reflections” (1974), number 196

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” -Joseph F. Newton (Joseph Fort Newton (1878 - 1949))

“The pain of loneliness is normal, and is felt by everyone, and is nature’s way of telling us that we are meant to be with others of our own kind.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I like to be alone, but I dislike being lonely.” -Author Unknown

“One can acquire everything in solitude - except character.” -Stendhal (pseudonym of Marie-Henri Beyle (1783 - 1842))

A guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (a one-hundred-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for its house. He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to a restaurant to have a meal. “Would you like to go to Frank’s Diner with me and have a bite to eat?” he asked the centipede in the box. But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, “How about going out and having a snack with me?” But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time - this time putting his face up against the centipede’s house and shouting, he said, “Hey, in there! Would you like to go get some food with me?” A tiny little voice came squeaking out of the box in reply, “I heard you the first time! I’m putting on my shoes.”

“It is strange to be known so universally and yet be so lonely.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“Loneliness is the most terrible poverty.” -Teresa of Calcutta (Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997))

“Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self.” -May Sarton (pseudonym of Eleanore Marie Sarton (1912 - 1995))

“Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.” -Paul Tournier

“The finest hours of life are not those spent among groups of people, but in good conversation with a few, in reading good books, in listening to great music, wandering in a forest of giant Sequoias, peering into a microscope, unraveling Nature’s secrets in a laboratory. The men who have the most to give their fellow men are those who have enriched their minds and hearts in solitude. It is a poor education that does not fit a man to be alone with himself.” -Joel Henry Hildebrand

“No greater burden can be borne by an individual than to know none who cares or understands.” -Arthur H. Stainback

“Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone.” -Jarod Kintz (born 1982)

“You keep a lot to yourself because it’s difficult to find people who understand.” -Author Unknown

“If I’m such a legend, why am I so lonely?” -Judy Garland (Frances Gumm (1922 - 1969))

“The quiet and solitary man apprehends the inscrutable. He seeks nothing, holds to the mean, and remains free from entanglements.” -I Ching (B.C.E. 1150)

“One form of loneliness is to have a memory and no one to share it with.” -Phyllis Rose

“Even in the presence of others he was completely alone.” -Robert M. Pirsig (Robert Maynard Pirsig (born 1928))

“It’s better to walk alone, than with a crowd going in the wrong direction.” -Diane Grant

“The truth is that we all know something about loneliness, and that includes even those who might not know what they are feeling when they feel lonely.” -Author Unknown

“My husband, a forester, often has to consult property owners to determine boundary lines. Walking up a dirt road to question one such individual, he encountered signs reading, ‘No Trespassing,’ ‘Beware of Dog,’ and ‘Keep Out - This Means You!’ Finally, arriving at the door, he talked with the congenial, cooperative landowner. When my husband was ready to leave, the man said to him, ‘Come and see me again sometime. I don’t get many visitors up this way.’ The lesson is simple: Ask yourself, am I lonely because of the ‘messages’ I am sending out?” -Author Unknown

“The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness.” -Norman Cousins (1915 - 1990)

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“City life: Millions of people being lonesome together.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone.” -Henrik Ibsen (Henrik Johan ‘Henrik’ Ibsen (1828 - 1906))

“What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans, also known as Marian Evans Cross (1819 - 1880)): “Middlemarch” (1871)

“The lonely one offers his hand too quickly to whomever he encounters.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“Learn to enjoy your own company. You are the one person you can count on living with for the rest of your life.” -Ann Richards

William Osler (1849 - 1919), visiting one of London’s leading children’s hospitals, noticed that in a convalescent ward all the children were clustered at one end of the room dressing their dolls, playing games, and playing in the sandbox - all except for one little girl, who sat forlornly on the edge of her high, narrow bed, clutching a cheap doll. The great physician looked at the lonely little figure, then at the ward nurse. “We’ve tried to get Susan to play,” the nurse whispered, “but the other children just won’t have anything to do with her. You see, no one comes to see her. Her mother is dead, and her father has been here just once - he brought her that doll. The children have a strange code. Visitors mean so much. If you don’t have any visitors, you are ignored.” William walked over to the child’s bed and asked in a voice loud enough for the others to hear, “May I sit down, please?” The little girl’s eyes lit up. “I can’t stay very long this visit,” Osler went on, “but I have wanted to see you so badly.” For five minutes he sat talking with her, even inquiring about her doll’s health and solemnly pulling out his stethoscope to listen to the doll’s chest. And as he left, he turned to the youngster and said in a carrying voice, “You won’t forget our secret, will you? - and mind, don’t tell anyone.” At the door he looked back. His new friend was now the center of a curious and admiring throng.

“When you have shut your doors and darkened your room, remember never to say that you are alone; for you are not alone, but God is within and your genius is within.” -Epictetus (C.E. 55 - C.E. 135)

“Great minds are like eagles and build their nest in some lofty solitude.” -Arthur Schopenhauer

“Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.” -Paul Tillich (Paul Johannes Tillich (1886 - 1965)): “The Eternal Now,” page 11

“One of the most important things you can do on this Earth is to let people know they are not alone.” -Shannon L. Alder

Just as no day is complete without some fun in it, a trip around the internet is never complete without visiting MFOL! . . .

0 Comments

Manners and Etiquette

11/8/2020

0 Comments

When people speak of ‘quaint old-fashioned manners,’ they seem as if by magic to reappear . . .

Magic Words

There are three little magic words
     That will open any door with ease.
Two little words are “Thank you!”
     And the other little word is “Please!”

by Author Unknown

Elvis: May I have an apple?
Sylvia: What is the magic word?
Elvis: Abracadabra?

“Politeness and consideration for others is like investing pennies and getting dollars back.” -Thomas Sowell (born 1930)

Too Polite

Broad met Stout
At the gate, and each
Was too polite to brush past.
“After you!” said Broad.
“After you!” said Stout.
They got in a dither
And went through together
And both
stuck
fast.

by Ian Serraillier (1912 - 1994)

“The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.” -Fred Astaire (pseudonym of Frederick Austerlitz (1899 - 1987))

Lawrence: What do well-behaved young lambs say to their mothers?
Florence: “Thank ewe!”

Al: When you yawn, you are supposed to put your hand over your mouth!
Lex: What, and get bitten?!

“Good manners and soft words have brought many a difficult thing to pass.” -John Vanbrugh (1664 - 1726)

Etiquette is the glue that holds society together. It enables people to get on with other human beings without causing offense. It is manners, codified, or formalized. By learning a number of the various rules of etiquette, a person will eventually begin to understand the basic concept and perhaps perceive the overall underlying common thread that makes up the pattern, sometimes called ‘the Golden Rule.’

Netiquette: Manners on the internet, such as not using all-caps, or all-capital letters, which is referred to as, ‘SHOUTING!’

When it comes to jokes and funny stories, before you growl, “I’ve heard that one before,” consider this: Do you stop a pianist who is playing Chopin because you have heard that musical piece before?

Overheard: Try being nice to people, even if it does scare them a little bit at first.

Three Nice Mice

Three nice mice!
     Three nice mice!
See how nice they are!
     See how nice they are!
They’re always polite when they nibble their cheese;
     They never forget to say thank you and please;
They cover their noses whenever they sneeze -
     Ahhh ahhh ahhh-choo! (pretend sneeze)
Three nice mice!
     Three nice mice!

by Author Unknown: can be sung to the same melody as that of “Three Blind Mice”

Etiquette and manners vary greatly geographically, culturally, religiously, and by economic classes all around the world. There are even variations by generation or age, gender, trade or profession, subculture, other group identity, and other factors. ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do’ is an old proverb that means one should respect and follow local laws, customs, and manners.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Elbows.
Elbows, who?
Elbows off the table, please!

“Good manners will often take people where neither money nor education will take them.” -Author Unknown

“Manners make man.” [Modern English translation]
“Manners makyth man.” [original Middle English]
-William of Wykeham (1320 - 1404); adopted as the motto of Winchester College and New College in Oxford, England

Overheard: Politeness is an inexpensive way of making friends.

“Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without comment is a wonderful social grace.” -Miss Manners (Judith Martin (born 1938))

“I don’t recall your name, but your manners are familiar.” -Oliver Herford (1863 - 1935)

“He was so generally civil, that nobody thanked him for it.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“Hail the small sweet courtesies of life, for smooth do they make the road of it.” -Laurence Sterne (1713 - 1768)

“Manners are of more importance than laws. Manners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, barbarize or refine us, by a constant, steady, uniform, insensible operation, like that of the air we breathe in.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

Mabel: What person do you always take your hat off to?
Abel: The barber.

“Something happens inside of us when we are courteous and deferential toward others. It is all part of a refining process, which if persisted in, will change our very natures.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

Overheard: Be polite to the aged, because you will be one of them soon enough yourself - if you are fortunate.

“Nothing is ever lost by courtesy. It is the cheapest of the pleasures; costs nothing and conveys much. It pleases him who gives and him who receives, and thus, like mercy, is twice blessed.” -Erastus Wiman (1834 - 1904): “Chances of Success” (1893)

“Good manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.” -Bennett Cerf (1898 - 1971)

“We must recall the most humanitarian guideline of all: be polite. Being polite is possibly the greatest daily contribution everyone can make to life on Earth.” -Caitlin Moran: “How to be a Woman” (16 June 2011)

Jimmy: Don’t you want to be well-mannered and polite?
Jenny: No, thank you!

“Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.” -Author Unknown

Do you recall those quaint old customs and manners of yesteryear? Tip your hats to the ladies, gentlemen. Girls curtsy, and boys bow. A gentleman always has a handkerchief to offer to a lady. A lady drops her handkerchief so that a gentleman can pick it up and hand it to her, a ruse used by the lady to get the gentleman to say a word to her. Gentlemen had calling cards, which they would leave so that people could contact them later. People smiled at strangers as they passed, and often greeted them, as for example, saying, “How do you do?” Well, don’t be sad at their passing - times haven’t changed so much - what’s old can be new again; all it takes is for you to demonstrate the newer versions of these acts yourself when opportunities avail themselves to you, and continue doing them until others begin to emulate you.

“Good manners are just a way of showing other people that we have respect for them.” -Bill Kelly

“One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))

“Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.” -Clarence Thomas (born 1948)

“Should you happen to notice that another person is extremely tall or overweight, eats too much or declines convivial drinks, has red hair, or goes about in a wheelchair, ought to get married or ought not to be pregnant - see if you can refrain from bringing these astonishing observations to that person’s attention.” -Miss Manners (Judith Martin (born 1938)), as quoted in William Safire and Leonard Safir: “Words of Wisdom: More Good Advice” (1989)

“Dressing well is a form of good manners.” -Tom Ford

“Your mood should not dictate your manners.” -Author Unknown

“Associate with well-manner persons and your manners will improve. Run around with decent folk and your own decent instincts will be strengthened.” -Stanley Walker (1898 - 1962)

“Politeness is the art of choosing among one’s real thoughts.” -Madame de Staël (Anna Maria Louis Germaine Necker (1766 - 1817)): as quoted in Abel Stevens (1815 - 1897): “Madame de Staël” (1881)

“Politeness a sign of dignity, not subservience.” -Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919)

“A man has no more right to say an uncivil thing than to act one; no more right to say a rude thing to another than to knock him down.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“A Man without Ceremony has need of great Merit in its Place.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 315

“Manners easily and rapidly mature into morals.” -Horace Mann (1796 - 1859)

“I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners. I don’t like them myself. They’re pretty bad. I grieve over them on long Winter evenings.” -Humphrey Bogart (Humphrey DeForest ‘Bogey’ Bogart (1899 - 1957))

“Politeness makes one appear outwardly as they should be within.” -Jean de la Bruyère (1645 - 1696)

“Visitors should behave in such a way that the host and hostess feel at home.” -J. S. Farynski (Jerzy Stanislaw Farynski)

“He is the very pineapple of politeness!” -Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751 - 1816)

“The knowledge of courtesy and good manners is a very necessary study. It is like grace and beauty, that which begets liking and an inclination to love one another at the first sight.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)): “Essais” (“Essays”) (1595), Book 1, chapter 7

“Politeness costs nothing and gains everything.” -Mary Montagu (Mary Wortley Montagu (1689 - 1762)): letter (30 May 1756) to Mary, Countess of Bute

“Every generation is convinced there has been a deplorable breakdown of manners.” -Byron Dobell (1927 - 2017)

“Politeness is the flower of humanity.” -Joseph Joubert (1754 - 1824)

“Good manners sometimes means simply putting up with other people’s bad manners.” -H. Jackson Brown (Harriett Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940))

“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” -Emily Post (1873 - 1960): as attributed in Matthew Gara: “Hey! Let’s Talk It Over” (1967)

“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983): “The Passionate State of Mind” (1955)

“All Doors open to Courtesy.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 512

“To be a successful hostess, when guests arrive say, ‘At last!’ and when they leave say, ‘So soon!’” -Author Unknown

“Being nice to someone you dislike doesn’t mean you’re fake. It means you are mature enough to tolerate your dislike towards them.” -Author Unknown

“We cannot always oblige; but we can always speak obligingly.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“Fine manners need the support of fine manners in others.” -Douglas Jerrold (Douglas William Jerrold (1803 - 1857))

“Good manners must be inspired by the good heart. There is no beautifier of complexion, or form, or behavior, like the wish to scatter joy and not pain around us.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Anyone can be polite to a king. It takes a gentleman to be polite to a beggar.” -Author Unknown

“True politeness consists in being easy one’s self, and in making every one about one as easy as one can.” -Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744)

“Etiquette is all human social behavior. If you’re a hermit on a mountain, you don’t have to worry about etiquette; if somebody comes up the mountain, then you’ve got a problem. It matters because we want to live in reasonably harmonious communities.” -Miss Manners (Judith Martin (born 1938))

“The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones.” -Gabirol (Solomon Ibn Gabirol (about 1022 - 1058))

“We’ve learned to dress for success, to speak for success. Now we need to learn how to behave for success.” -Marjabelle Young Stewart (1924 - 2007)

“Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“To sleep when others speak, to sit when others stand, to walk on when others stay, to speak when one should hold his peace, or hear others, are all things of ill manners.” -Francis Hawkins (1628 - 1624)

Manners

We say, “Thank you.”
     We say, “Please.”
We don’t interrupt or tease.
     We don’t argue. We don’t fuss.
We listen when folks talk to us.
     We share our toys and take our turn.
Good manners aren’t too hard to learn.
     It’s really easy, when you find
Good manners means
     Just being kind!

by Author Unknown

“Politeness is to do and say the nicest thing in the nicest way.” -Author Unknown

Goodness, how well-mannered you are! You must have had a very good upbringing, or you have taught yourself very well. Perhaps you can teach us a few of your ways of politeness . . . and be sure to come by for a visit from time to time . . . on your way to greatness . . . this is MFOL!

0 Comments

Loners and Singles

11/5/2020

0 Comments

“The four food groups for singles are: fast, frozen, junk, and spoiled.” -Author Unknown

“We are a select group, without personal obligation, social encumbrance, or any socks that match.” -P. J. O’Rourke (Patrick Jake O’Rourke (born 1947)): “The Bachelor Home Companion” (1987)

“Maybe ‘loner’ is too strong a word, but I’ve always enjoyed being on my own.” -George Best (1946 - 2005)

Overheard: I am not single - I’m between relationships . . . I am not single - I am romantically challenged. There was a time when people called single men bachelors and single women spinsters or old maids. Nowadays, you may call an unmarried adult ‘unattached’ - but you may not call them ‘incomplete’ because apparently, they really do not appreciate that!

“Single: A partial-person.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“The trouble with living alone is that it’s always your turn to do the dishes.” -Author Unknown

“A bachelor, in my opinion, is only half alive.” -Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756 - 1791)

“Hermits United. We meet up every ten years and swap stories about caves. It’s good fun . . . for a hermit.” -Author Unknown: “Doctor Who”

Loner: A party of one; a person who knows what ‘alone in a crowd’ means.

“You are what you eat. For example, if you eat garlic you’re apt to be a hermit.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980))

“People assume I’m a loner by choice. They think I’m antisocial, when the truth is I’m terrified of people because I’m kind and sensitive and people tend to walk all over me.” -Author Unknown

□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□
l i v e  ☆ l a u g h  ツ  www.MakeFunOfLife.net  ♥ l o v e  ☼ g r o w
□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□

Lone Dog

I’m a lean dog, a keen dog, a wild dog, and lone;
     I’m a rough dog, a tough dog, hunting on my own;
I’m a bad dog, a mad dog, teasing silly sheep;
     I love to sit and bay the Moon, to keep fat souls from sleep.

I’ll never be a lap dog, licking dirty feet,
     A sleek dog, a meek dog, cringing for my meat,
Not for me the fireside, the well-filled plate,
     But shut door, and sharp stone, and cuff and kick, and hate.

Not for me the other dogs, running by my side,
     Some have run a short while, but none of them would bide.
O mine is still the lone trail, the hard trail, the best,
     Wide wind, and wild stars, and hunger of the quest!

by Irene Rutherford McLeod (1891 - 1968)

□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□
l i v e  ☆ l a u g h  ツ  www.MakeFunOfLife.net  ♥ l o v e  ☼ g r o w
□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□

“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe unto him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Ecclesiastes,’ chapter 4, verses 9 - 10

An old guy who had spent his whole life as a recluse in the desert went to visit a friend. He had never seen a train in his life, but on his way, he happened upon a railroad track. Standing alongside the track, wondering what it was, he heard a loud whistle. Looking around, he saw a train bearing down on him like something out of the Apocalypse. The train just nudged him a glancing blow, but it still flipped him into a ravine, where his head smacked up against a rock and knocked him unconscious. A while later he got up, tenderly felt the bump on his head, shrugged off the dust, and then continued on to his friend’s house, the whole time wondering what that big thing was that had nearly killed him. His friend greeted him, put on a kettle for tea, and they started swapping old stories. A few minutes later, the teakettle started whistling like crazy on the stove and the hermit jumped up in a panic, grabbed a chair, and pounded the whistling teakettle flatter than a pancake. Amazed, his friend asked, “What in the world did you do that for?” The hermit said, “Those things are dangerous. You have to get rid them when they’re small!”

Bumper sticker: Honk If You’re Happily Single!

“A hermit is a deserter from the army of humanity.” -Henry Southgate (1818 - 1888)

A single guy went into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while visiting his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he said, “I’ll just have the Eggs Benedict.” His order came a while later and it was served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asked the waiter, “What’s with the hubcap?” The waiter sang out, “There’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!”

Far in a wild, unknown to public view,
     From youth to age a reverend hermit grew;
The moss his bed, the cave his humble cell,
     His food the fruits, his drink the crystal well,
Remote from man, with God he pass’d the days;
     Prayer all his business, all his pleasure praise.
-Thomas Parnell

“Let me tell you this: If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” -Jodi Picoult (Jodi Lynn Picoult (born 1966)): “My Sister’s Keeper” (6 April 2004) novel

“Now for a little humor for people who are single this holiday season: ‘I don’t live alone . . . I live with my imagination . . . and we have a lot of fun together . . .’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Only solitary men know the full joys of friendship. Others have their family; but to a solitary and an exile, his friends are everything.” -Willa Sibert Cather (born Wilella Sibert Cather (1873 - 1947))

Lone wolf: A wolf that is not in a pack of wolves. When hunting alone, a wolf will catch small animals such as mice, squirrels, hares, chipmunks, raccoons, or rabbits. However, a wolf pack, or a group of wolves, can hunt large animals including deer, moose, caribou, and yaks.

When people live alone, they more easily succumb to the temptation to just ‘let themselves go,’ meaning that they partially or entirely stop engaging in the grooming, dressing, housekeeping, and other habits associated with being someone who is living successfully in a society with other humans.

□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□
l i v e  ☆ l a u g h  ツ  www.MakeFunOfLife.net  ♥ l o v e  ☼ g r o w
□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□

The Loner

He never hurried,
     Nor made a fuss.
Just bided his time,
     Would never rush.

He lived his life,
     So frugally.
Saved for rainy days,
     He’d never see.

There was no one,
     To share his life.
No children of his own,
     No love of a wife.

He had no friends,
     Neither enemies.
His self alone,
     Was his only company.

On his tombstone,
     When his life was spent,
Four simple words:
     He came and went.

by John Read (21 August 2012)

□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□
l i v e  ☆ l a u g h  ツ  www.MakeFunOfLife.net  ♥ l o v e  ☼ g r o w
□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□

“A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.” -Will Cuppy (William Jacob ‘Will’ Cuppy (1884 - 1949))

Men’s Excuses for Staying Single:
- I do not have to explain why I’m wearing ‘that’ shirt with ‘those’ pants.
- I have saved $372,416.21 that would have been spent on groceries.
- I get to see what my paycheck looks like.
- I get to see what my credit cards look like.
- Bachelors do not have a mother-in-law.
- I do not have to watch sub-titled foreign films.
- I do not have a driving instructor grading me every time I go somewhere.

“Those who understand the true nature of humanity are always loners.” -Dean Cavanagh (born 1966)

Question: Why did the single person cross the road?
Answer: To get away from the married couple that was having an argument.

“It’s just like magic. When you live by yourself, all of your annoying habits are gone.” -Merrill Markoe (born 1948)

“If a hermit lives in a state of ecstasy, his lack of comfort becomes the height of comfort. He must relinquish it.” -Jean Cocteau (1889 - 1963)

“Alone, adjective: In bad company.” -Ambrose Bierce (Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (1842 - 1914))

“I’m a loner as a person, but then I always was, even as a child.” -Bill Bixby (Wilfred Bailey Everett ‘Bill’ Bixby III (1934 - 1993))

Overheard: 1 Universe, 8 planets, 192 countries, 180,497 islands, 85 seas, 7 billion people - and I am still single!

“Please don’t make me sound like a crazy hermit, but I don’t like crowds or noise.” -Steve Burns (Steven Michael Burns (born 1973))

“The reason that a lot of men are bachelors is because they fail to embrace their opportunities.” -Author Unknown

“I was a loner and never hung out with anyone. I never had any friends.” -Richard Pryor (1940 - 2005)

“Singles are people who have convinced themselves that mono, black-and-white, 32-gigabytes is good enough for them, while married people live in high-fidelity stereo, full-color, 128-gigabytes.” -Author Unknown

“Hermits have no peer pressure.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“Sometimes it’s better to be alone because nobody can hurt you.” -Author Unknown

The third week in September is National Singles Week in the United States of America.

Question: What holiday do single people celebrate every day?
Answer: Independence Day!

“The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.” -Pearl S. Buck (Pearl Sydenstricker Buck (1892 - 1973))

Isn’t it interesting that we refer to some people as ‘singles,’ which is a plural noun? And how exactly is it that ‘loners’ also is a plural word?

“I was a loner in high school. I keep to myself, but I love life.” -Clea Duvall (Clea Helen D'Etienne DuVall (born 1977))

When people live alone, they tend to develop certain idiosyncrasies, as for example, adopting dozens of stray animals, or filling an entire room with a collection of empty cardboard boxes. Do not be dismayed, because these are instinctual behaviors, as you try to fill in the ‘gaps’ in your life, which other people typically fill with other people. However, you will need to examine your life if you begin holding parties with your stray animals at which you are the only human in attendance, or you go around the neighborhood at odd hours trying to find more empty cardboard boxes to complete your collection - these behaviors could be ‘cries for help.’ You might want to consider attending the weekly singles group meeting at a church or joining several clubs - just not the clubs where they dress up as vampires and some of the club members seriously believe that they are actual vampires (it should be noted that vampires are creations wholly of human imagination). We hope to see you at this week’s singles group meeting so that we can tell you all about our modest 30,488-piece pinecone collection.

“Deep in my heart I know I am a loner. I have tried to blend in with the world and be sociable, but the more people I meet the more disappointed I am, so I’ve learned to enjoy myself, my family, and a few good friends.” -Steven Aitchison (born 1968), website: https://www.guidedmind.com/

“The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.” -Alan Ashley (Alan Ashley-Pitt, pseudonym of Francis Phillip Wernig (born 1947)): as quoted in Eda LeShan: “The Wonderful Crisis of Middle Age” (1973), page 304

Signs That You May Be Single
- Back in high school you were voted, ‘Most likely to grow old alone, in a big-empty house.’
- Instead of ‘Occupant,’ your junk mail is addressed to ‘Loner.’
- No woman can ever seem to make you feel as alive as you felt at the ‘TrekMania 2014’ convention.
- None of your twenty-three cats ever likes your boyfriend.
- The makers of ‘Frozen Meals for One’ made you their ‘Customer of the Year’ for the seventh consecutive year.
- Who has time for dating when you are building a life-size Spock out of Legos?
- You speak Klingon, which is unfortunately not a very romantic language.
- Online, you suggest the topic, ‘Top Signs You’re Going to Spend the Rest of Your Life Single,’ mistakenly thinking that your equally-hopeless fellow social media contributors might give you some clue as to what you’re doing wrong.
- You will master the art of meeting women as soon as they make a video game about it.
- You are already in line for the next ‘Star Wars’ movie release.

“I don’t hate people, I just feel better when they aren’t around.” -Charles Bukowski (1920 - 1994)

Trevor: If I tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Ian: No, but it does make you a crazy forest hermit!

A Hermit Named Green

There once was a hermit named Green
Who grew so abnormally lean,
     And flat, and compressed,
     That his back touched his chest,
And sideways he couldn’t be seen.

by Author Unknown

“The mind can weave itself warmly in the cocoon of its own thoughts, and dwell a hermit anywhere.” -James Russell Lowell (1819 - 1891)

Hermit: A female hismit.

“Something of the hermit’s temper is an essential element in many forms of excellence, since it enables men to resist the lure of popularity, to pursue important work in spite of general indifference or hostility, and arrive at opinions which are opposed to prevalent errors.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

“But I’ll tell you what hermits realize. If you go off into a far, far forest and get very quiet, you’ll come to understand that you’re connected with everything.” -Alan Watts (1915 - 1973)

What would you say to someone who says to you, “I don’t go out because I have no friends, and I have no friends because I don’t go out.”?

We are MFOL! . . . you would think that we would know what we are doing by now . . . but no . . .

0 Comments

Quitting and Trying

10/31/2020

0 Comments

“There is an old saying: ‘If you hang in there long enough, keep trying, and don’t give up, something good is sure to happen.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

You Can Do It

Giving up is easy
     When your dreams seem far away,
And life is full of obstacles,
     You face them every day.
But, no matter what the challenge
     Some faith will get you through it.
So never quit believing,
     Just remember, you can do it!

by Author Unknown

“No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.” -Tony Robbins (Anthony Jay ‘Tony’ Robbins (born 1960))

“I already know what giving up feels like. I want to see what happens if I don’t.” -Neila Rey (born 1986), website https://darebee.com

“Never quit. If you stumble, get back up. What happened yesterday no longer matters. Today is another day. So, get back on track and move closer to your dreams and goals. You can do it.” -Author Unknown

“It’s always too soon to quit!” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“The man who tried his best and failed is superior to the man who never tried.” -Bud Wilkinson (Charles Burnham ‘Bud’ Wilkinson (1916 - 1994))

“Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.” -George E. Woodberry (George Edward Woodberry (1855 - 1930))

“Your biggest break can come from never quitting. Being at the right place at the right time can only happen when you keep moving toward the next opportunity.” -Arthur Pine

“Half the things that people do not succeed in, are through fear of making the attempt.” -James Northcote

“Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.” -Vigil Thomson (1896 - 1989)

“There is no failure except in no longer trying.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“Before you quit, try.” -William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994)

“There’s moments where I want to break down and cry, but not give up.” -Ashlee Simpson

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.” -Cassius Longinus (C.E. 213 - C.E. 273)

“Unless you’re willing to have a go, fail miserably, and have another go, success won’t happen.” -Phillip Adams (Phillip Andrew Hedley Adams (born 1939))

“If you only do what you know you can do, you never do very much.” -Tom Krause (Tom Gunnar Krause (1934 - 2013))

“Try and fail, but don’t fail to try.” -Stephen Kaggwa

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.” -Samuel Beckett (1906 - 1989)

“Don’t give up. One day you will look back and be glad you didn’t.” -Author Unknown

“In every triumph there’s a lot of try.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“Don’t give up. Moses was once a basket case.” -Author Unknown

“No one knows what he can do till he tries.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): “Public Sayings”

“Never let a stumble in the road be the end of the journey.” -Author Unknown

“It doesn’t matter if you try and try and try again, and fail. It does matter if you try and fail, and fail to try again.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“Every accomplishment starts with a decision to try.” -Author Unknown

“If you don’t try, you can’t fail . . . or succeed.” -Author Unknown

“Resolve never to quit, never to give up, no matter what the situation.” -Jack Nicklaus (Jack William Nicklaus (born 1940))

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” -Maya Angelou (Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

“One must learn by doing the thing. For though you think you know it, you have no certainty until you try.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“‘It’s impossible,’ said pride. ‘It’s risky,’ said experience. ‘It’s pointless,’ said reason. ‘Give it a try,’ whispered the heart.” -Author Unknown

“The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized - and never knowing.” -David Viscott (David Steven Viscott (1938 - 1996))

“Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one-yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown.” -Ross Perot (Henry Ross Perot (born 1930))

“Trying will do anything in this world.” -Theocritus (about 300 B.C.E. - after 260 B.C.E.)

“Try something, anything. If it doesn’t work, try something else. The important thing is that you try, and keep on trying, and never give up trying.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will.” -Robert Anthony (Robert Newton Anthony (1916 - 2006))

“Michelangelo stated, ‘The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but it is too low and we reach it.’ Don’t give up. Success is within reach of everyone, as long as you try. As long as someone is willing to take the first step and continue taking steps, success can be realized. In fact, taking that first step could be the greatest success because it is the building block for all steps that follow and all successes that will be realized in your life. Remember, always try, and remember this simple saying. I never see failure as failure, but only an opportunity to practice and perfect my skills as I take the journey to becoming successful at whatever I decide to do.” -Author Unknown

“They fail, and they alone, who have not striven.” -Thomas Bailey Aldrich (1836 - 1907)

“Always remember: All that other folks can do, why with patient persistent trying should not you? Keep that noble chin up and keep trying - wonderful things can happen when we just try! Now, think happy thoughts, put your smile on, and have the best imaginable day!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Many a man never fails because he never tries.” -Norman MacEwan (Norman Duckworth Kerr MacEwan (1881 - 1953))

“If you never try, you will never know.” -Author Unknown

“Life has two rules: Number one, never quit; Number two, always remember rule number one.” -Duke Ellington (1899 - 1974)

“It is better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Learned helplessness is the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn’t matter.” -Martin Seligman (Martin E. P. ‘Marty’ Seligman (born 1942))

“You can’t even be a failure if you’ve never tried.” -Andy Capp

“You’ll never find out what you can do, until you do all you can to find out.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“One does not always do the best there is. One does the best one can.” -Catherine the Great (also known as Catherine II (1729 - 1796))

“Losers quit when they are tired. Winners quit when they have won.” -Author Unknown

“The only failure is a failure to try. Everything else is just learning.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Have you ever considered the cost of quitting? For a real eye opener . . . ask Thomas Edison . . . Steve Jobs . . . Michael Jordan . . . or Jim Carrey . . . ask them how much it would have cost them if they had quit . . . what about you?” -Doug Firebaugh (born 1968)

Overheard: Give it one more try . . .

“To try and fail is at least to learn; to fail to try is to suffer the inestimable loss of what might have been.” -Chester Barnard (Chester Irving Barnard (1886 - 1961))

“Winners never quit, and quitters never win.” -Author Unknown

“What isn’t tried won’t work.” -Claude McDonald (Claude Maxwell McDonald (1852 - 1915))

“Try your best, and then on each succeeding try, attempt to best your last try.” -Author Unknown

“You never fail until you stop trying.” -Florence Griffith Joyner (Florence Delorez Griffith-Joyner (1959 - 1998))

“The last dejected effort often becomes the winning stroke.” -W. J. Cameron (William John Cameron (1879 - 1953))

“Ninety percent of those who fail are not actually defeated. They simply quit.” -Paul J. Meyer (Paul James Meyer (1928 - 2009))

“If you find yourself in surroundings or around people who tell you that you are a failure before you have even begun to try, you must find a way to begin to try somewhere else and either around people who do not condemn you, or in peaceful solitude.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If you kinda sorta try, you get kinda sorta results.” -Author Unknown

“Next to trying and winning, the best thing is trying and failing.” -L. M. Montgomery (Lucy Maud Montgomery (1874 - 1942)): “Anne of Green Gables” (June 1908), Chapter 35; line spoken by fictional character Anne

“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” -Beverly Sills (1929 - 2007)

“Do not give up, the beginning is always the hardest.” -Author Unknown

“How many a man has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience, would have achieved success.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must be first overcome.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): “Rasselas” (1759)

“You won’t succeed unless you try.” -Author Unknown

“People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don’t know when to quit. Most men succeed because they are determined to.” -George H. Allen (George Herbert Allen, Senior (1918 - 1990))

“The only ones who truly fail are those that never try.” -Author Unknown

“You can’t hit a home run unless you step up to the plate. You can’t catch fish unless you put your line in the water. You can’t reach your goals if you don’t try.” -Kathy Seligman

“If you try you might; if you don’t you won’t.” -Author Unknown

“When you win, nothing hurts.” -Joe Namath (Joseph William ‘Joe’ Namath (born 1943))

“Every single one of us possesses the strength to attempt something he isn’t sure he can accomplish.” -Scott Jurek (Scott Gordon Jurek (born 1973))

“Life is trying things to see if they work.” -Ray Bradbury (Ray Douglas Bradbury (1920 - 2012))

This is MFOL! . . . where we never stop trying . . . and that is why more fun and learning is coming up next . . .

0 Comments

Efforts and Benefits

10/25/2020

0 Comments

“You can accomplish virtually anything if you want it badly enough and if you are willing to work long enough and hard enough.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Much effort, much prosperity.” -Euripides (480 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“Dig where the gold is unless you just need some exercise.” -John M. Capozzi: “Why Climb the Corporate Ladder When You Can Take the Elevator” (1994)

“When we do more than we are paid to do, eventually we will be paid more for what we do.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Be willing to give that extra effort that separates the winner from the one in second place.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (Harriett Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940))

“I’ve got a theory that if you give one-hundred percent all of the time, somehow things will work out in the end.” -Larry Bird (Larry Joe Bird (born 1956))

“Working hard becomes a habit, a serious kind of fun. You get self-satisfaction from pushing yourself to the limit, knowing that all the effort is going to pay off.” -Mary Lou Retton (Mary Lou ‘Lou’ Retton (born 1968))

“Always take a job that is too big for you.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969)

“Work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts will inevitably bring about right results.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“It is only through labor and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage, that we move on to better things.” -Theodore Roosevelt (Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919))

“The more we do the more we can do.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

“Who knows whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.” -Erich Fromm (Erich Seligmann Fromm (1900 - 1980))

“Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Labor was the first price, the original purchase-money that was paid for all things. It was not by gold or by silver, but by labor, that all wealth of the world was originally purchased.” -Adam Smith (1723 - 1790): “The Wealth of Nations” (1776)

“All great success and achievement is preceded and accompanied by hard, hard, work. When in doubt, ‘try harder.’ And if that doesn’t work, try harder still!” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Energy, even like the Biblical grain of mustard-seed, will move mountains.” -Hosea Ballou (1771 - 1852)

“The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” -William Faulkner (William Cuthbert ‘Will’ Faulkner (1897 - 1962))

“The results you achieve will be in direct proportion to the effort you apply.” -Denis Waitley (born 1933)

“It’s true that the willing horse gets the heaviest load. It is also true that he develops the strongest muscles and gets the most oats.” -Author Unknown

“We work to become, not to acquire.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)): “A Thousand and One Epigrams” (1911)

“You get what you work for, not what you wish for.” -Author Unknown

“Without work there will not be any bread in your mouth.” [translation to English]
“Sine labore non erit panis in ore.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown

“There is no royal road to anything. One thing at a time, all things in succession. That which grows fast, withers as rapidly. That which grows slowly, endures.” -Josiah Gilbert Holland (1819 - 1881)

“The mode by which the inevitable comes to pass is effort.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Junior (1841 - 1935)

“Winners embrace hard work. They love the discipline of it, the tradeoff they’re making to win. Losers, on the other hand, see it as punishment. And that’s the difference.” -Lou Holtz (Louis Leo ‘Lou’ Holtz (born 1937))

Without Pains,
No Gains.
-Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 6360

“The fruit derived from labor is the sweetest of all pleasures.” -Luc de Clapiers (1715 - 1747)

“In all human affairs there are efforts, and there are results, and the strength of the effort is the measure of the result. Chance is not. Gifts, powers, material, intellectual, and spiritual possessions are the fruits of effort; they are thoughts completed, objects accomplished, visions realized.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912): “As a Man Thinketh” (1902), ‘Visions and Ideals’

“The highest reward for man’s toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“For every disciplined effort there is a multiple reward.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Whatever you give to life will return to you - multiplied! This applies to our daily thoughts, feelings, and actions, be they positive or negative, uplifting or depressing.” -Frederick W. Babbel (Frederick William Babbel (1915 - 2001))

“Work is the grand cure for all maladies and miseries that ever beset mankind - honest work, which you intend getting done.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“The man who rolls up his sleeves seldom loses his shirt.” -Thomas Cowan (Thomas ‘Tom’ Cowan (born 1969))

“If there is no dull and determined effort, there will be no brilliant achievement.” - Xun Kuang (also known as Hsun Tzu, Xun Zi, and Xunzi (about 310 B.C.E. - about 235 B.C.E.))

“Getting the most out of life is giving life your most.” -Janice Markowitz

“There is no excellence anywhere without labor. We would think a man foolish indeed who would say I am willing that my business should prosper or that my farm should yield plentifully but I’ll not stir a peg. But he is no more foolish than the man who says I am willing that God should bless me abundantly but I shall not do anything toward that end myself. We must consistently rely upon the help of the Lord but we will not make any progress or meet with any success unless we put forth an earnest effort.” -Charles W. Nibley (Charles Wilson Nibley (1849 - 1931))

“If you put forth the effort, good things will be bestowed upon you.” -Michael Jordan (born 1963)

“It’s the constant and determined effort that breaks down all resistance and sweeps away all obstacles.” -Claude M. Bristol (Claude Myron Bristol (1891 - 1951))

“For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice.” -John Burroughs (1837 - 1921)

“Nobody gets to run the mill by doing run-of-the-mill work.” -Thomas J. Frey

“The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win.” -Roger Bannister (Roger Gilbert Bannister (1929 - 2018))

“There’s no substitute for hard work.” -John Wooden (John Robert Wooden (1910 - 2010))

“The difficulties and struggles of today are but the price we must pay for the accomplishments and victories of tomorrow.” -William J. H. Boetcker (William John Henry Boetcker (1873 - 1962))

“Nothing ever comes to one that is worth having except as a result of hard work.” -Booker T. Washington (Booker Taliaferro Washington (1856 - 1915)

“Genius begins great works; labor alone finishes them.” -Joseph Joubert (1754 - 1824)

“Nobody ever found a buried treasure without digging for it. Most success is beneath the surface. Dig every day.” -George W. Cummings, Senior: as quoted in Paul D. Cummings: “Lessons at the Fence Post” (November 1996)

“If you’re not willing to put in the effort, don’t expect anything in return.” -Author Unknown

“Labor is the great producer of wealth; it moves all other causes.” -Daniel Webster (1782 - 1852)

“Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.” -Winston Churchill: as quoted in Liane Cordes: “The Reflecting Pond: Meditations for Self-Discovery” (1981), page 89

“Men will get no more out of life than they put into it.” -William J. H. Boetcker (William John Henry Boetcker (1873 - 1962))

“Nothing will work unless you do.” - Maya Angelou (Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

“Much good work is lost for the lack of a little more.” -Edward H. Harriman (Edward Henry Harriman)

“It is better to wear out than to rust out.” -Frances E. Willard (Frances Elizabeth Caroline Willard (1839 - 1898))

“Do a little more each day than you think you possibly can.” -Lowell Thomas (Lowell Jackson Thomas (1892 - 1981))

“Men do less than they ought, unless they do all that they can.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881): as quoted in Horace Smith: “The Tin Trumpet” (1859)

“The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more.” -Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995)

“No one ever attains very eminent success by simply doing what is required of him; it is the amount and excellence of what is over and above the required, that determines the greatness of ultimate distinction.” -Charles Kendall Adams (1835 - 1902)

“I realized that with hard work, the world was your oyster. You could do anything you wanted to do. I learned that at a young age.” -Christine Marie ‘Chris’ Evert (born 1954)

“Four little words sum up what has lifted most successful individuals above the crowd: A little bit more. They did all that was expected of them and a little bit more.” -A. Lou Vickery

“Do more than you’re supposed to do and you can have or be or do anything you want.” -Bill Sands (born 1953)

This is MFOL! . . . life can be fun . . . if we make the effort . . .

0 Comments

Witchcraft and Witches

10/20/2020

0 Comments

Is this a coven of witches . . . or just a group of women who enjoy playing dress-up for teatime?

Emma: What bounces and cackles?
Emmit: A witch on a trampoline!

Witches Brew

Dash of bat whiskers
Three purple tadpoles
Dollop of goobly goop
One teaspoon frozen rainbow
Two pinches of ghost dust
Sprinkle with troll teeth
Mix thoroughly and simmer
Over low heat for 4 hours
Serve ice cold.

by Author Unknown

Laura: What did the little witch hope to get for her birthday?
Laurel: A haunted dollhouse!

The word ‘witch’ is derived from the Old English words ‘wicca’ meaning ‘wise man’ and ‘wicce’ meaning ‘wise woman.’

Bill: Have you heard about the good weather witch?
Penny: Yes, and she’s forecasting sunny spells!

In 2013, the country of Swaziland passed a law prohibiting witches from flying above an altitude of 150 meters (492 feet). Is this law unfair?

Bonnie: Why does everyone at witches’ conventions wear a nametag?
Lonnie: So they can tell which witch is which witch.

Apparently, even witches get lonely for the company of their own kind. Thus, they gather into ‘covens,’ of between two and thirteen witches. The word ‘coven’ was mostly unused in the English language until 1921, when Margaret Murray advanced the idea that witches across Europe met in groups of 13, which they call covens. When covens gather, they engage in communication with the spirit world, rituals, chants, sharing of news and gossip and recipes for potions and spells, and possibly whatever else your imagination is suggesting to you right now.

Ace: Why do witches carry black cats on their brooms?
Tex: Because elephants weigh too much.

A warlock, or a man-witch, went to the doctor one day complaining of headaches. “It’s because I live in a room with two of my brothers,” he said. “One of them has six goats and the other has four pigs and they all live in the room with us. The smell is terrible.” “Well, couldn’t you just open the windows?” asked the doctor. “Certainly not,” he replied. “My bats would fly out!”

Ruben: What do witches say when they cast the wrong spell?
Benjamin: “Hexcuse me!”

Sign: Witch Parking Only - All Others Will Be Toad.

Sal: What kind of pets do witches have?
Les: Scaredy cats!

The cat, frog, pig, raven, goat, wolf, bat, and mouse were believed to be a witch’s ‘familiar,’ or a spirit in animal form that was used by a witch to perform evil deeds and cast malevolent spells.

Lily: What do you get if you cross a witch with Wintertime?
Lilith: A cold spell.

Simon: What do you call two witches on one broom?
Cinnamon: Broommates.

“Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cackle maniacally, and people back away from you slowly.” -Author Unknown

Wanda: How does a witch make scrambled eggs?
Wendy: She cracks eggs into a pan and gets two other witches to make the stove shake with fright. Then she cackles just like a chicken!

We would not want to attract the ire of any witches, but here is a little secret about the ways of harmless good witches: The ingredients they use in their potions and other concoctions are extraordinarily ordinary, but they give the ingredients fantastic names to keep their recipes secret. So for example, bat wings might really be leaves of cloves, and eye of newt might actually be pearl onions. Some folks just find having secrets makes their lives more interesting - that plus ‘secret recipes’ fetch a higher price in the marketplace than regular ones. On the other hand, malevolent or bad witches might actually use real scales of snakes and warts of toads and hairs of hares in their recipes.

Corey: What is evil and goes around and around?
Courtney: A witch on a merry-go-round.

Shelia: Where does a witch park her broom after she is done flying?
Ophelia: In a broom closet.

Rachel: What do witches put on their bagels?
Michael: Scream cheese!

Sandy: What does a witch call for when she checks into a hotel?
Sandra: Broom service.

Wiccaphobia is a persistent fear of witches and witchcraft. Wow, there’s a word for nearly everything, isn’t there?

Donny: How does a witch tell time?
Donald: By looking at her witch-watch.

Josie: What has six legs and flies?
Joey: A witch and a cat on a broom!

“‘A witch ought never be frightened in the darkest forest,’ Granny Weatherwax had once told her, because she should be sure in her soul that the most terrifying thing in the forest was her.” -Terry Pratchett: “Wintersmith” (2006)

Wilma: How can you imagine yourself flying on a broom?
Wilfred: Just engage in witchful thinking!

Angie: Why do witches wear pointy hats?
Angelica: To cover their pointy heads.

^o^ ^o^ ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ  www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^

All:
Double, double toil and trouble;
     Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

Second Witch:
Fillet of a fenny snake,
     In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
     Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder’s fork and blind-worm’s sting,
     Lizard’s leg and owlet’s wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
     Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

All:
Double, double toil and trouble;
     Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

by William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Macbeth” (1606), Act IV, scene 1 [A cavern. In the middle, a boiling cauldron], lines 1557 through 1568

^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^
l i v e  ☆  l a u g h  ツ  www.MakeFunOfLife.net  ♥  l o v e  ☼  g r o w
^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^

Cora: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Corey: Spelling.

“Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.” -J.R.R. Tolkien (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien (1892 - 1973)): “The Fellowship of the Ring” (1954), book I, chapter 3

Marcy: What has four wheels and flies?
Marcella: A witch on a vacuum cleaner!

Overheard: The local witch once threatened to turn me into a toad, but she changed her mind after thinking it over. She said it would be a waste of a perfectly good spell because no one would notice any change in my appearance!

Darcy: How does a witch lose the weight gained from eating Halloween candy?
Darla: She hex-ercises.

Helen Duncan, a medium, or a person who purports to communicate with the spirit world, was arrested in 1944 in Portsmouth, England. She had been arrested originally for the catch-all charge of vagrancy, but when she came up for trial at the Old Bailey, the police promptly added the charge of witchcraft, and she was tried under the Witchcraft Act of 1735. Her case is the last known instance of a person in England being tried by law as a witch.

Hilda: Why don’t witches ride their brooms when they are upset?
Mathilda: They are afraid of flying off the handle!

Would you be willing to entertain the possibility that witches, along with warlocks, wizards, sorcerers, and sorceresses are not real, but are creations wholly of human imagination? This would mean that some people might like to pretend that they are these things, and some people might accuse other people of being these things, and though they might be either good people or bad people, they are not really witches, warlocks, wizards, sorcerers, or sorceresses.

Felicia: What do little witches eat?
Felicity: Alpha-bat soup!

According to some people, if you wear your clothes inside out and walk backwards on Halloween, you will see a witch at midnight. We strongly advise against doing this, because it could result in tripping, falling, and serious injury. Instead, anyone wanting to see a witch should watch the movie “Hocus Pocus” (1993). It is rated ‘PG’ for ‘Parental Guidance’ advised; however, like all entertainment, it should be reviewed and approved by parents or other grownups for suitability before their children are allowed to see it.

At MFOL! we do all of our own stunts, but we must remind folks that flying through the air on a broom involves significant risk, and should be done only after lengthy training, and unlike the man shown in the image above, should be done only with protective equipment including a helmet, goggles, and a parachute.

Cecil: How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
Celeste: With scare-spray.

“The riches of witches are flying brooms, black cats, cookery with cauldrons, loud clear cackles, the camaraderie of covens - and spells that cause itches!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Ted: How do you make a witch itch?
Todd: Just take away the ‘w.’

What should you do if a geometric witch puts a hexagon you?

Irwin: How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
Irving: Just one, but she changes it into a toad!

^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^
l i v e  ☆  l a u g h  ツ  www.MakeFunOfLife.net  ♥  l o v e  ☼  g r o w
^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^

Witches’ Menu

Live lizard, dead lizard
     Marinated, fried.
Poached lizard, pickled lizard
     Salty lizard hide.

Hot lizard, cold lizard
     Lizard over ice.
Baked lizard, boiled lizard
     Lizard served with spice.

Sweet lizard, sour lizard
     Smoked lizard heart.
Leg of lizard, loin of lizard
     Lizard a la carte.

by Sonja Nikolay (born 1936)

^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^
l i v e  ☆  l a u g h  ツ  www.MakeFunOfLife.net  ♥  l o v e  ☼  g r o w
^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^  ^o^

Lynne: Which cartoon do witches like to watch on television?
Linda: “The Scare Bears.”

What is the Witching Hour? The hour after midnight, when witches and other supernatural beings are thought to be active, and to which bad luck is ascribed, is called ‘the witching hour’ in folkloric tradition. All honest mortals are to be found at home fast asleep in bed at this time of night, and not wandering about in the dark.

Rutherford: How can you tell twin witches apart?
Ruth: You can never really tell which witch is which.

Wilfred: What would you expect to find on a beach at Halloween?
Mildred: A sand-witch.

“Mortified: A witch’s reaction to being mortalized, or being changed into a mere mortal.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Mandy: Why do witches fly on brooms?
Manetta: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

Tongue twister: If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

Ollie: What do witches like to do on the computer?
Oliver: Use the ‘spell’ checker.

Judy: What did one witch say to the other witch when she asked for a lift?
Trudy: “There’s always plenty of broom for one more.”

We cover a wide variety of topics . . . because one size does not fit all . . . more fun follows . . . on MFOL!

0 Comments

Bumper Stickers and License Plates

10/13/2020

0 Comments

Bumper sticker: If You Lived In Your Car, You Would Be Home By Now.

Bumper sticker: When In Danger Or In Doubt, Run In Circles, Scream, And Shout!

License plate on a brown Land Rover: ARF ARF.

Bumper sticker: If You Can Read This, Thank A Teacher.

Bumper sticker: Relish Today . . . Ketchup Tomorrow!

Bumper sticker: Be Alert - The World Needs More Lerts.

Bumper sticker: To Err Is Human, To Moo Bovine.

Bumper sticker: Don’t Wish For It - Work For It.

Bumper sticker: Buckle Up - It Makes It Harder For The Aliens To Suck You Out Of Your Car.

Bumper sticker: The Truth Is Out There. It’s Just Not Very Well Indexed.

Bumper sticker: I Souport Publik Edekasi8n.

Bumper sticker: If You Think I’m A Lousy Driver, Wait Until You See Me Putt.

Bumper sticker: Save The Earth - It’s The Only Planet With Chocolate!

Bumper sticker: There Is No Shortcut To Anyplace Worth Going.

Bumper sticker: Warning - This Vehicle Protected By Anti-Theft Sticker.

Bumper sticker: I Drive Way Too Fast To Worry About Cholesterol.

Bumper sticker: Power To The People (seen on an electrician’s truck).

Bumper sticker: Help Stamp Out And Eradicate Superfluous Redundancy.

Bumper sticker: If You Can Read This Bumper Sticker You Are Driving Too Close.

Bumper sticker: So You’re A Feminist - Isn’t That Cute?

Bumper sticker: How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?

Bumper sticker: You Have Enemies? Good - That Means You Stood Up For Something.

Bumper sticker: Be The Kind Of Friend You’d Want to Have.

Bumper sticker: Turn Signals Are Not Just For Smart People Anymore.

Bumper sticker: I’d Rather Be Fishing!

Bumper sticker: My Other Vehicle Is A Romulan Warbird.

Bumper sticker: Follow Your Dreams Except The One Where You Are Showing A Squirrel How To Climb A Tree.

Bumper sticker: I Owe, I Owe, So It’s Off To Work I Go!

License plate: YRU FAT (seen on weight-loss guru Richard Simmons’ vehicle).

Bumper sticker on a Lamborghini: My Other Car Is A Lamborghini, Too!

Bumper sticker: Honk If You Are A Bad Driver.

Bumper sticker: Eagles Don’t Flock.

Bumper sticker: Honk If You Like Peace And Quiet.

Bumper sticker: Caution - I Drive Like You Do!

Bumper sticker: Caution - Blind Person Driving! (seen on a venetian blind installer’s vehicle).

Bumper sticker: I Do Whatever My Breakfast Cereal Tells Me To Do.

Bumper sticker: Just Say No To Negativity.

Bumper sticker: If Your Ship Hasn’t Come In . . . Swim Out To It!

Bumper sticker: Be Nice To Americans, Or We’ll Bring Our Style Of Democracy To Your Country!

Bumper sticker: I Don’t Repeat Gossip.

Bumper sticker: I Have Animal Magnetism. Every Time I Go Outside, Squirrels Stick To My Clothes.

Bumper sticker: Just Because You Are Paranoid Does Not Mean They Are Not Out To Get You.

Bumper sticker: What If There Were No Hypothetical Questions?

Bumper sticker: The Internet Is An Information Source Not A Lifestyle Choice.

Bumper sticker: I Am Speeding Because I Have To Get Someplace Before I Forget Where I Was Going!

Bumper sticker: People Who Anger You Control You.

Have you read the bumper sticker that reads, “Ban All Bumper Stickers!”?

Bumper sticker: It Is Bad Luck To Be Superstitious.

Bumper sticker: Honk If You Have No Control Over Your Impulses.

Bumper sticker: Quantum Mechanics Is The Dreams Stuff Is Made Of.

Bumper sticker: Humans Aren’t The Only Species On Earth, We Just Act Like It.

License plate on the vehicle of a sewing machine dealership: SEWBIZ.

Bumper sticker: Don’t Follow Me - I’m Lost, Too!

Bumper sticker: It’s Lonely At The Top, But You Eat Better!

Bumper sticker: Mistakes Are Proof That You Are Trying.

Bumper sticker: Save The Whales! Trade Them For Valuable Prizes.

Bumper sticker: What If The Hokey Pokey Really Is What It’s All About?

Bumper sticker: Men Are From Earth. Women Are From Earth. Deal With It.

Bumper sticker: Cole’s Law: Thinly Sliced Cabbage.

Bumper sticker: Lottery - A Tax On People Who Are Bad At Math.

Bumper sticker: I Is A College Student.

License plates in the Canadian Northwest Territories are shaped like polar bears.

License plate: HMMMM (seen on a choir director’s vehicle).

Bumper sticker: Forget World Peace And Visualize Using Your Turn Signal.

Bumper sticker: As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools.

Bumper sticker: Driver Carries No Cash - He’s Married!

Bumper sticker: If Your Job Pays You Peanuts, Make Peanut Butter.

Coming soon to a future near you: Teflon-coated bumpers, because nothing, not even bumper stickers, will stick to non-stick coatings. What, you say that’s not real and it’s not happening . . . ever? You may be right.

Bumper sticker: Warning - Driver brakes suddenly for no apparent reason.

Bumper sticker: I May Be Slow, But I’m Ahead Of You.

Bumper sticker: Honk If Anything Falls Off.

Bumper sticker: By The Time You Read This, You Will Have Already Read It.

Bumper sticker: Question Everything.

Bumper sticker: Taxation With Representation Isn’t So Wonderful, Either!

Bumper sticker: This Truck Has Been In Fifteen Accidents, And Hasn’t Lost One Yet!

Bumper sticker: I Love Animals - They Are Delicious!

Bumper sticker: All Generalizations Are False - Including This One.

Bumper sticker: My Other Car is a Broom.

Bumper sticker: Drive carefully, your government needs every taxpayer it can get.

Bumper sticker: The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Bumper sticker: Yes, this is my truck, and no, I won’t help you move.

Bumper sticker: I Chose The Road Less Traveled - Now Where In The World Am I?

Bumper sticker: This Bumper Sticker Holds My Car Together.

Bumper sticker: In The Absence Of Light, Darkness Prevails.

Bumper sticker: My Other Car Has A Funny Bumper Sticker On It.

MFOL! . . . It all started one morning when we woke up and said, “Let’s do something different today.”

0 Comments

Anger and Rage

10/9/2020

0 Comments

“We can’t let the anger overshadow the good things in life.” -Author Unknown

“Every time you give someone a piece of your mind, you make your head a little emptier.” -Author Unknown

“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.” -Eckhart Tolle

Riddle: What is round and has a bad temper?
Solution: A vicious circle.

“The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn’t angry enough.” -Bede Jarrett

“The best remedy for anger is delay.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65): “De ira” (“On Anger”)

“There is no angry way to say ‘bubbles.’” -Author Unknown

“Don’t let the Sun go down upon your anger; forgive each other, help each other, and begin again tomorrow.” -Louisa May Alcott (1832 - 1888)

“Letting off steam always produces more heat than light.” -Neal A. Maxwell (Neal Ash Maxwell (1926 - 2004)): “Murmur Not” in “Ensign” (November 1989) magazine, page 84

“Don’t ever slam a door; you might want to go back.” -Author Unknown

“Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.” -Chérie Carter-Scott (born 1939) at www.drcherie.com

“People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.” -Will Rogers (William Penn Adair ‘Will’ Rogers (1879 - 1935))

Angrophobia is a persistent fear of anger or of becoming angry. Many folks look ridiculous and do regrettable actions or speak in haste when angry, so perhaps the phobia stems in part from a fear of doing permanent damage to their personal reputations and relationships.

Anger makes us strong,
Blind and impatient
And it leads us wrong;
The strength is quickly lost;
We feel the error long.
-George Crabbe

“The broad general rule is that a person is no bigger than the things that make him or her angry.” -Author Unknown

Hangry (han-gree), adjective: A state of anger caused by lack of food; hunger causing a negative change in emotional state.

“The line between hunger and anger is a thin line.” -John E. Steinbeck (John Ernst Steinbeck (1902 - 1968)): “The Grapes of Wrath” (14 April 1939)

“Sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.” -Author Unknown

“You can’t stay mad at someone who makes you laugh.” -Jay Leno (born 1950)

“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” -Author Unknown: Chinese proverb

“Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.” -Lemony Snicket (pseudonym of Daniel Handler (born 1970))

▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬

A Bag of Nails

Once upon a time, there lived a little boy, and he had a very bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the wooden fence that surrounded their home.

The first day, the boy hammered an entire handful of nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails he hammered into the fence each day became fewer in number. He had discovered that it was easier for him to hold his temper than it was to drive nails into the fence.

Finally, the day came when the boy did not lose his temper at all. He told his father about this, and his father suggested that the boy then pull out one nail for each day that he had been able to control his temper.

The days passed, and at last, the young boy could finally tell his father that all the nails he had hammered into the fence had been removed.

The father led his son to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at all the holes in the fence. The nails are gone, but the fence itself will never be the same.”

The little boy then understood how powerful his words were. He looked up at his father and said, “I hope I can be forgiven for all the damage my anger has done to people.”

by Author Unknown

▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬
l i v e  ☆ l a u g h  ツ  www.MakeFunOfLife.net  ♥ l o v e  ☼ g r o w
▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬

“When you are angry say nothing and do nothing until you have recited the alphabet.” -Athenodorus Cananites

“Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.” -Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)

“Just try to be angry with someone who fed you something delicious.” -Carmen Cook

“Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind.” -Robert G. Ingersoll (Robert Green ‘Bob’ Ingersoll (1833 - 1899))

“Most people usually do not assume responsibility for their anger. Instead, what we typically hear is, “You made me angry.” “They made me upset,” etc. I trust it is evident that these types of statements are not true. No one else can ‘make’ you angry. We have to make ourselves angry. What others say and do is, yes, a part of the equation, but without our contribution to the equation, anger cannot arise nor exist. This can be a very threatening conception of anger, and yet it is also very freeing, for as long as we do determine our own emotional responses, we are free to change and to control them. If other people or events were, in fact, responsible for our emotional responses, then we would not have the freedom nor ability to change them - unless we could control other people and events, which is much more challenging and usually impossible. Thus, principle one in the case against anger is, we are ultimately responsible for our own anger.” -Burton C. Kelly: “Let All . . . Anger . . . Be Put Away from You . . . or the Case Against Anger” as published in the “AMCAP Journal” (February 1979), pages 6 through 13

“Speak when you’re angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887)

“A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.” -Bruce Lee (1940 - 1973)

“Anger is a bad adviser.” -Author Unknown: French proverb

“Anger and worry are caused by phantoms that we create within ourselves and whose only strength is that with which we endow them.” -Horace Fletcher: “Menticulture” (1895)

“When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.” -Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)

Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure, often resulting from a perceived injustice or unfairness. While anger is often momentary, rage is usually thought of as being a period of sustained anger.

“Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887)

“Anger helps straighten out a problem like a fan helps straighten out a pile of papers.” -Susan Mancotte

“No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.” -George Jean Nathan (1882 - 1958)

“Anger is a feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.” -Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)

“I understand the fury in your words, but not the words.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Othello” (about 1603)

“There was never an angry man that thought his anger unjust.” -Francis de Sales (1567 - 1622): “Introduction to the Devout Life” (1609)

“He who can suppress a moment’s anger may prevent a day of sorrow.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894)

“Before you give someone a piece of your mind, make sure you can get by with what is left.” -Author Unknown

“Anger begins with folly, and ends with repentance.” -Pythagoras (about 570 B.C.E. - about 495 B.C.E.): as quoted in “The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction” (6 January 1844), volume V, number 1

“An angry man is again angry with himself when he returns to reason.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.” -Elizabeth I (1533 - 1603): as quoted in Francis Bacon: “Certain Apophthegms of Lord Bacon” (1625), number IV

“When anger rises, think of the consequences.” -Confucius (551 B.C.E. - 479 B.C.E.)

▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬
l i v e  ☆ l a u g h  ツ  www.MakeFunOfLife.net  ♥ l o v e  ☼ g r o w
▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬

Temper

When I have lost my temper, I have lost my reason, too.
     I’m never proud of anything which angrily I do.
When I have talked in anger and my cheeks were flaming red,
     I have always uttered something which I wish I hadn’t said.

In anger I have never done a kindly deed or wise,
     But many things for which I felt I should apologize.
In looking back across my life, and all I’ve lost or made,
     I can’t recall a single time when fury ever paid.

So I struggle to be patient, for I’ve reached a wiser age;
     I do not want to do a thing or speak a word in rage.
I have learned by sad experience that when my temper flies,
     I never do a worthy thing, a decent deed or wise.

by Author Unknown

▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬
l i v e  ☆ l a u g h  ツ  www.MakeFunOfLife.net  ♥ l o v e  ☼ g r o w
▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬●▬

“If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?” -Sydney J. Harris (Sydney Justin Harris (1917 - 1986))

“I always tumble into trouble when I lose my temper.” -Jane Louise Curry: “Robin Hood and His Merry Men” (1994)

“Anger is never without an argument, but seldom with a good one.” -George Savile (also known as Lord Halifax (1633 - 1695)): “Political, Moral, and Miscellaneous Thoughts and Reflections” (1750), ‘Of Anger’

“When a wise man is angry, he is no longer wise.” -Author Unknown: “The Talmud”

“We are all crazy when we are angry.” -Philemon (about 300 B.C.E.)

“Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame.” -Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)

“There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away; the battle they are fighting isn’t with you, it’s with themselves.” -Author Unknown

“Anger is momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you.” [translation to English]
“Ira furor brevis est: animum rege: qui nisi paret imperat.” [original Latin]
-Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)): “Epistles,” I, 2, 62

“He who angers you, controls you.” -Author Unknown

“Two things a man should never be angry at: what he can help, and what he cannot help.” -Author Unknown

“The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.” -Joseph Joubert (1754 - 1824)

“Anger is the only thing to put off till tomorrow.” -Author Unknown: Slovakian proverb

“Do not teach your children never to be angry; teach them how to be angry.” -Lyman Abbott

“A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.” Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Proverbs,’ chapter 15, verse 18

“Angry people are not always wise.” -Jane Austen (1775 - 1817)

“You can tell the size of a man by the size of the thing that makes him mad.” -Adlai Stevenson (Adlai E. Stevenson (1900 - 1965))

“We boil at different degrees.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Marian Evans Cross, also known as Mary Ann Evans (1819 - 1880))

“Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.” -Chuck Norris (Carlos Ray ‘Chuck’ Norris (born 1940))

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“Explain your anger instead of expressing it, and you will find solutions instead of arguments.” -Author Unknown

“Anger manages everything badly.” -Statius

“Never respond to an angry person with a fiery comeback, even if he deserves it . . . don’t allow his anger to become your anger.” -Author Unknown

“Temper, if ungoverned, governs the whole man.” -Anthony Shaftesbury

“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180))

“Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” -Aristotle (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.)

“The prudent man does not let his temper boil over lest he get into hot water.” -Author Unknown

“Anger is one letter away from danger.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor ‘Eleanor’ Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“Never do anything when you are in a temper, for you will do everything wrong.” -Baltasar Gracián (1601 - 1658)

“Nobody ‘makes’ you angry. You ‘decide’ to use anger as a response.” -Author Unknown

“I’m sorry for the unkind words I spoke out of anger.” -Author Unknown

“My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down, and go about business as usual.” -Phyllis Diller (1917 - 2012)

We are MFOL! . . . promoting better living through humor and inspiration and learning . . .

0 Comments

Changing and Adjusting

10/7/2020

0 Comments

“If you would like to change things in your life that seem too big to change all at once, could you be happy changing them a little at a time?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Any day we wish, we can start the process of life change.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“It is always safe to assume, not that the old way is wrong, but that there may be a better way.” -Henry F. Harrower

“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” -Steve Jobs (Steven Paul ‘Steve’ Jobs (1955 - 2011))

“Never assume that you’re stuck with the way things are. Life changes, and so can you.” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955)), website www.GreatDay.com.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” -Margaret Mead (1901 - 1978): as quoted in the “Christian Science Monitor” (1 June 1989)

“It’s never too late to change your life.” -Author Unknown

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.” -Herbert Ottl

“The greatest discovery of my age is that men can change their circumstances by changing the attitude of their mind.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“The only thing certain is nothing is certain.” -Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)

“Times will change for the better when you change.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“Know what’s weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change, but pretty soon . . . everything’s different.” -Bill Watterson (Bill Watterson II (born 1958)): “Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes”; type of work: cartoon

“If we want things to stay as they are, things will have to change.” -Giuseppe Tomasi de Lampedusa (1896 -1957)

“People can change until they take their last breath.” -Alton R. Jorgenson

“Change is the only thing that will make things different.” -Author Unknown

“Much as we may wish to make a new beginning, some part of us resists doing so as though we were making the first step toward disaster.” -William Bridges (born 1934)

“If you want things to change, you have to change. If you want things to be better, you have to be better.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“There is nothing permanent except change.” -Heraclitus of Ephesus (544 B.C.E. - 483 B.C.E.) (513 B.C.E.)

“Change is not made without inconvenience, even from worse to better.” -Richard Hooker (1554 - 1600)

“To live is to change, and to be perfect is to have changed often.” -John Henry Newman (1801 - 1890): “The Development of Christian Doctrine” (1834)

“The only thing constant in life is change.” -Francois de La Rochefoucauld (François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680))

“Never be afraid to try something new - remember, it was amateurs who built the Ark and professionals who built the Titanic.” -Author Unknown

“Changes happen, and life gets worse and better, and life somehow goes on.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Change before you have to.” -Jack Welch (John Francis ‘Jack’ Welch, Junior (born 1935))

“Our wretched species is so made that those who walk on the well-trodden path always throw stones at those opening a new road.” -Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778)): as quoted in Ben Ray Redman, editor: “The Portable Voltaire” (1949)

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” -Mahatma Gandhi (Mohandas Karamchand ‘Mahatma’ Gandhi (1869 - 1948))

“Change is not merely necessary to life - it is life.” -Alvin Toffler (1928 - 2016)

“Only you can change your life. No one can do it for you.” -Author Unknown

“I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.” -Aldous Huxley (Aldous Leonard Huxley (1894 - 1963))

“Change is the only evidence of life.” -Evelyn Waugh (Arthur Evelyn Saint John Waugh (1903 - 1966))

Affirmation: I want to change my life.

To change one’s life:
Start immediately.
Do it flamboyantly.
No exceptions.
-William James (1842 - 1910)

“Change is not difficult, it is the resistance to change that is difficult.” -Author Unknown

“The nature o’* things doesn’t change, though it seems as if one’s own life was nothing but change. The square o’ four is sixteen, and you must lengthen your lever in proportion to your weight, is as true when a man’s miserable as when he’s happy; and the best o’ working is, it gives you a grip hold o’ things outside your own lot.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans (1819 - 1880)): “Adam Bede” (1859)
*o’: of

“The more things change, the more they are the same.” -Alphonse Karr (1808 - 1890)

“Resolve to be a master of change rather than a victim of change.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“It is the greatest mistake to think that man is always one and the same. A man is never the same for long. He is continually changing. He seldom remains the same even for half an hour.” -Gurdjieff (1873 - 1949)

“In times of change, learners inherit the Earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)

“I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones.” -John Cage (John Milton Cage, Junior (1912 - 1992))

“All change is not growth; as all movement is not forward!” -Author Unknown

“Everyone alters and is altered by everyone else. We are all the time taking in portions of one another or else reacting against them, and by those involuntary acquisitions and repulsions modifying our natures.” -Gerald Brenan (1894 - 1987)

“We must all obey the great law of change. It is the most powerful law of nature, and the means perhaps of its conservation.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

“The art of life lies in a constant readjustment to our surroundings.” -Okakura Kakuzō (Okakura Tenshin (1862 - 1913)): “The Book of Tea” (1906)

“If you want to make enemies, try to change something.” -Woodrow Wilson (Thomas Woodrow ‘Woodrow’ Wilson (1856 - 1924))

“To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” -Henri Bergson (Henri-Louis ‘Henri’ Bergson (1859 - 1941))

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.” -Mandy Hale (born 1978)

“Sometimes we must make a choice, to take a chance, or our lives will never change.” -Author Unknown

“We may dig in our heels and dare life never to change, but, all the same, it changes under our feet like sand under the feet of a sea gazer as the tide runs out. Life is forever undermining us. Life is forever washing away our castles, reminding us that they were, after all, only sand and sea water.” -Erica Jong (born 1942): “Parachutes and Kisses”

“Our only security is our ability to change.” -John Lyly (1554 - 1606)

“The main dangers in this life are the people who want to change everything or nothing.” -Nancy Astor (1879 - 1964)

“Change is possible for everyone; consider the wolf, which preys upon sheep, and then examine the domestic dog derived from it, which protects sheep.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Everything is in motion. Everything flows. Everything is vibrating.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

“Change almost always represents improvement of the human condition. Constancy almost always represents stagnation. In any event, change is certain. There’s no point in complaining about it. Natural history teaches that survival in a changing world does not depend on physical strength or on high intelligence. Survival depends on the ability to change.” -Alex Sanders

Lucy: Do you think anybody ever really changes?
Linus: I’ve changed a lot in the last year.
Lucy: I mean for the better.
-Charles M. Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000)): “Peanuts” comic strip

“Things of this world are in so constant a flux, that nothing remains long in the same state.” -John Locke (1632 - 1704)

“All things are only transitory.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

“The world hates change yet it is the only thing that has brought progress.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“Once you make the decision to change, all kinds of things happen.” -Charles S. Dutton

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910))

“To change your circumstances, first start thinking differently. Do not passively accept unsatisfactory circumstances, but form a picture in your mind of circumstances as they should be. Believe and succeed.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“In all change, well looked into, the germinal good out-vails the apparent ill.” -Francis Thompson (1859 - 1907)

“Be okay with where you are, even if you know you want to change.” -Author Unknown

“Change is inevitable. Because it is driven by expanding knowledge and technology, it is accelerating at a speed never seen before.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Change is inevitable . . . except from vending machines.” -Author Unknown

“Nothing in the world is permanent, and we’re foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we’re still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)): “The Razor’s Edge” (1943)

“All is change; all yields its place and goes.” -Euripides (484 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” -Ed Foreman (born 1933)

“Turn over a new leaf.” -Thomas Dekker

“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” -Author Unknown

“To the fearful, change is threatening because they worry that things may get worse. To the hopeful, change is encouraging because they feel things may get better.” -Buck Rogers

“Welcome change.” -Author Unknown

“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

“There is yet time enough for you to take a different path.” -Author Unknown

“Too much consistency is as bad for the mind as for the body.” -Aldous Huxley (Aldous Leonard Huxley (1894 - 1963))

“Life is like an ever-changing kaleidoscope - a slight change, and all patterns alter.” -Sharon Salberg

“Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference.” -Author Unknown

“Someday change will be accepted as life itself.” -Shirley MacLaine (pseudonym of Shirley MacLean Beaty (born 1934))

This is MFOL! . . . for those who strive to be well-adjusted in an ever-changing world . . .

0 Comments

Conversations and Spoken Communications

10/3/2020

0 Comments

“Communication - the human connection - is the key to personal and career success.” -Paul J. Meyer (Paul James Meyer (1928 - 2009))

“Whenever I meet people for the first time, I assume that they have a great story to tell and that it’s my job to find it.” -Sarah, Duchess of York (born Sarah Margaret Ferguson in 1959): “What I Know Now: Simple Lessons Learned the Hard Way” (2003)

In spoken communications, which includes conversations, there are two main parts: 1. Speaking, and 2. Listening. Ideally, each participant spends some time speaking and some time listening.

“A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but, after a while, he knows something.” -Wilson Mizner (1876 - 1933): as quoted in Evan Esar: “The Dictionary of Humorous Quotations” (1949)

Sign seen in a shop: For Your Convenience, Our Staff Is Fluent In Monosyllabic Grunts.

“The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” -Dorothy Nevill (Dorothy Fanny Nevill (1826 - 1913))

“There is a disease terrible that strikes 10 out of 1 Americans 15 every minutes. Vocal Dyslexia it’s called. An elment I’ve been lifing all my fight. It can warn without striking and has no regard for case, read, or crolor. Symptoms include speechaled garb, backs coming out wordward, and an inability to sent a complete putence together. The victims: innocent people like thou and me. Sadly, Vocal Dyslexia is wilding liek spreadfire and there is no cureful symp, butthere is hope. The dyslexia foundation has recommended these things 3: 3rd: at the first trub of signale phonsult a confition; 2nd: stay in bed and drink flenty of pluids; 1st: read as can as you much. For more information write: 999 Teenfifth Street, Grand Mapids, Ricaghan. Thank you muchy ver.” -Author Unknown

“Conversation may be compared to a lyre with seven chords - philosophy, art, poetry, love, scandal, and the weather.” -Anna Brownell Jameson (1794 - 1860)

Overheard: Say it straight, simple, and with a smile.

“We’ll talk without listening to each other; that is the best way to get along.” -Alfred de Musset (1810 - 1857)

How to Be a Good Conversationalist
- Make eye contact.
- Allow the other person to speak his or her mind.
- Ask questions and allow the other person to answer.
- Do not interrupt a person when he or she is speaking if at all possible.
- Use polite words and do not use offensive language such as cursing and swearing.
- Do not use slang, jargon, abbreviations, or other nonstandard and obscure terms or words.
- Show an interest in what the other person is saying.
- Speak in a calm, civil tone.
- Be agreeable even when you disagree.
- Be polite so that you always leave them liking you.
What can you add to this list?

“It does seem so pleasant to talk with an old acquaintance who knows what you know. I see so many new folks nowadays who seem to have neither past nor future. Conversation has got to have some root in the past, or else you have got to explain every remark you make, and it wears a person out.” -Sarah Orne Jewett (1849 - 1909)

“What most people really need is a good listening to.” -Mary Lou Casey

“When trying to make your way through a crowd of people, and you find that saying, ‘Excuse me,’ or ‘Pardon me,’ isn’t getting you anywhere, just say, ‘Beep, beep!’ because everybody, regardless of language or dialect, speaks and understands car.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Fine words butter no parsnips.” -Walter Scott (1771 - 1832)

“Keep your conversation throughout the day consistent with what you really want to happen.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

Be careful of the words you say,
And keep them soft and sweet.
For you never know from day to day,
Which ones you’ll have to eat.
-Author Unknown

“Talk is cheap, and that’s why barbers give it away for free with haircuts.” -Author Unknown

“After all, when you come right down to it, how many people speak the same language even when they speak the same language?” -Russell Hoban (Russell Conwell Hoban (1925 - 2011))

Overheard: It takes a great man to be a good listener.

“If nobody spoke unless they had something to say, the human race would very soon lose the use of speech.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965))

“Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.” -Robert Benchley

THINK Before You Speak

T: Is it True?
H: Is it Helpful?
I: Is it Inspiring?
N: Is it Necessary?
K: Is it Kind?

by Author Unknown

“When in doubt, mumble.” -Author Unknown

“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” -Ernest Hemingway (Ernest Miller Hemingway (1899 - 1961))

“Things crazy cat people do: You answer your cat’s random meows with, ‘Yes, yes, I know!’” -Author Unknown

“Before beginning any conversation, ask yourself if this is the proper time, place, and person to have the conversation with. If you use wild hand gestures when you talk, make an effort to keep your hands under control so that you do not appear to be physically menacing or ridiculous to the other person. Understand that you have goals in talking to people, and they also have their goals, and the best conversations are those in which both people move closer to achieving their goals.” -Author Unknown

“Language was given to us that we might say pleasant things to each other.” -Author Unknown

How to Be a Good Listener
- Ask questions and wait for the answers.
- Nod your head in agreement or to acknowledge you hear what has been said.
- Paraphrase, or repeat back, to the speaker what he or she has said.
- Very often in conversations, it is more important to be a good listener than it is to be heard.
What can you add to this list?

“Grunts and squeals were fine in the beginning, but eventually humans needed more precise means of communication . . . and so, words were invented, which were a highly complex combination of grunts and squeals.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Everyone hears only what he understands.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Speech is a mirror of the soul; as a man speaks, so is he.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): as attributed in Darius Lyman: “The Moral Sayings of Publius Syrus, a Roman Slave: From the Latin” (1856): “Sententiae,” Maxim 1073

“There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.” -Author Unknown

On average, women say 7,000 words per day. Men on average manage slightly more than 2,000 words in a day. However, this is not either good or bad. Men and women are different, and therefore do things differently based on their plans and goals. Women place priority in connections with other people, which they do primarily through communication. Men place importance in accomplishment, using communication as a means to that end.

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” -Robert McCloskey

And I oft have heard defended -
Little said is soonest mended.
-George Wither (1588 - 1667): “The Shepherd’s Hunting” (1615)

“I felt it shelter to speak to you.” -Emily Dickinson (1830 - 1886)

“If you have learned how to disagree without being disagreeable, then you have discovered the secret of getting along - whether it be in business, family relations, or life itself.” -Bernard Meltzer

“Speech is conveniently located midway between thought and action, where it often substitutes for both.” -John Andrew Holmes (1773 - 1843): “Wisdom in Small Doses” (1927)

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable.” -David Augsburger (David W. Augsburger (born 1938))

“For millions of years, mankind lived just like the animals. Then something happened which unleashed the power of our imagination. We learned to talk.” -Stephen Hawking (Stephen William Hawking (born 1942))

“The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively but says nothing.” -Author Unknown

“Before you say something, stop and think how you’d feel if someone said that to you.” -Author Unknown

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Book of Proverbs,’ chapter 25, verse 11

“Talk that does not end in any kind of action is better suppressed altogether.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“Don’t take up a man’s time talking about the smartness of your children; he wants to talk to you about the smartness of his children.” -Edgar Watson Howe (1854 - 1937): “Country Town Sayings” (1911)

Riddle: What can you break with just one word?
Answer: Silence.

“He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.” -Sydney Smith (1771- 1845)

“Nature has given to men one tongue, but two ears, that we might hear from others twice as much as we speak.” -Epictetus (C.E. 55 - C.E. 135)

“Chatter is not quite conversation.” -Charles M. Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000))

“One must listen if one wishes to be listened to.” -François de La Rochefoucauld (also known as François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)): “Reflections; or Sentences and Moral Maxims” (1665 - 1678), Maxim 1

“Talkers are not good doers.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “King Richard III” (1592 - 1593), Act I, scene iii

“There is no conversation more boring than the one where everybody agrees.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592))

“A good listener is a silent flatterer.” -Author Unknown

“Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.” -William Penn (1644 - 1718)

“People should talk less and draw more. Personally, I would like to renounce speech altogether and, like organic nature, communicate everything I have to say visually.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“There are three things in speech that ought to be considered before some things are spoken - the manner, the place, and the time.” -Robert Southey (1774 - 1843): as attributed in S. Austin Allibone: “Prose Quotations from Socrates to Macaulay” (1880)

“When we speak harshly or yell at people, the words can hit their ears so hard that they bounce right off them and are not heard. If you speak softly and calmly, you have a chance of being understood.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Know how to listen, and you will profit even from those who talk badly.” -Plutarch (C.E. 46 - C.E. 120)

“Everyone should be quick to listen. Slow to speak.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible” (NIV) ‘James,’ chapter 1, verse 19

“We have two ears and only one tongue in order that we may hear more and speak less.” -Diogenes Laërtius

Plato: What can you hold without ever touching it?
Aristotle: A conversation.

“To do all the talking and not be willing to listen is a form of greed.” -Democritus of Abdera (460 B.C.E. - 370 B.C.E.)

“Supportive listening: Smile . . . listen . . . agree. Repeat.” -Author Unknown

“The words you speak today should be soft and tender, for tomorrow you may have to eat them.” -Author Unknown

“We’re always talking about talking, but we never seem to get around to actually talking.” -Author Unknown

“To disagree, one does not have to be disagreeable.” -Barry M. Goldwater and Jack Casserly: “Goldwater” (12 October 1988)

“Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you into trouble.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“Contradiction and flattery both make poor conversation.” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man’s observation, not overturning it.” -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873))

“Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius.” -Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794)

“One way to prevent conversation from being boring is to say the wrong thing.” -Frank Sheed

“If you want to be listened to, you should put in time listening.” -Marge Piercy (born 1936)

“Conversation means being able to disagree and still continue the discussion.” -Dwight MacDonald

“The value of the average conversation could be enormously improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.” -Andre Maurois

“Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.” -Oscar Wilde

“Some people live in harsh surroundings filled with difficult or impossible people, and so they have lost the ability to engage in conversation and can only do what everyone around them is doing, which is to ‘bark’ at people. Because people do not like to be barked at, they stop listening to each other, and when problems arise, solutions are never found.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“To listen closely and reply well is the highest perfection we are able to attain in the art of conversation.” -François de La Rochefoucauld (also known as François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680))

“It was mortifying to find how strong the habit of idle speech may become in one’s self. One need not always be saying something in this noisy world.” -Sarah Orne Jewett (1849 - 1909): “The Country of Pointed Firs and Other Fiction” (1896)

“A gossip is one who talks to you about others; a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.” -Lisa Kirk (born Elsie Kirk (1925 - 1990))

“There is only one rule for being a good talker: learn to listen.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))

“God gave us two ears and only one mouth. Some people say that’s because He wanted us to spend twice as much time listening as talking. Others claim it’s because He knew that listening was twice as hard.” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . and now let us all engage in happy talk, serious talk, silly talk, or just making wild animal noises . . .

0 Comments

Doctors and Health Practitioners

9/29/2020

0 Comments

Yes, he says he is a real doctor . . . still, check his credentials . . .

Doctor: Your pulse is as steady as a clock.
Patient: You have your hand on my wristwatch.

One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he had not been feeling well lately. The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor said, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after you eat lunch. Then, just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.” Surprised to be put on so much medicine, the man stammered, “Doc, exactly what is my ailment?” The doctor replied, “You are not drinking enough water.”

Patient: Doctor, you have to help me!
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Patient: I have some coins stuck in my ear.
Doctor: How long have they been there?
Patient: A year.
Doctor: Why did you not come in sooner?
Patient: I did not need the money until now.

A doctor told a man that if he ran 5 miles a day for 300 days, he would lose 75 pounds. At the end of 300 days, the man called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. “What’s the problem?” asked the doctor. The man said, “I’m 1,500 miles from home.”

Tonsillectomy

“Your tonsils, it seems, are too big,”
Said my doctor, and straightened his wig.
“There isn’t a doubt
That they’ll have to come out.”
And he giggled and danced a short jig.

by Author Unknown

A man walked into a doctor’s office and was sent immediately to an exam room. The doctor entered and looked him over. The man had a green bean sticking out of his left ear, a carrot sticking out of his right ear, and a celery stalk sticking out of one nostril. “Doc, it is just terrible, I am in awful shape - what do you think it could be that is the matter with me?” The doctor replied, “Well, for starters, you are not eating properly.”

Doctor: Face the window, please. Now stick out your tongue.
Patient: Why do I have to face the window?
Doctor: Because I do not like the man next door.

A doctor was consulting with his patient. “I checked your symptoms on Google. If you want a second opinion, I’ll check with Yahoo.”

Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news.
Patient: Tell me the bad news first.
Doctor: You have canary disease.
Patient: What is the good news?
Doctor: It is tweetable.

“The education of the doctor which goes on after he has his degree is after all the most important part of his education.” -John Shaw Billings

A man went to see his doctor. He was suffering from acute anxiety and seemed on the verge of a nervous breakdown. After the examination, the doctor went into the consultation room to discuss the case with the patient’s wife. “What your husband needs most of all is rest and quiet,” said the doctor. “These are tranquilizer pills. You should take one every three hours.”

Doctor: You cough sounds much better today.
Patient: It should - I stayed up all night practicing.

A man sat in a doctor’s office and kept up a strange litany: “I hope I am sick . . . I hope I am sick . . .” Another waiting patient asked, “Why do you want to be sick?” The man replied, “I would hate to be well and feel like this!”

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Doctor: Pull yourself together, man!

A man went to visit his doctor. “Doc, my arm hurts! Can you check it out?” The doctor rolled up the man’s sleeve and suddenly, the man’s arm started talking. “Hello, doctor,” said the arm. “Could you lend me twenty dollars, please? I’m desperate!” “Aha!” said the doctor. “I see the problem. Your arm is broke!”

Patient: Doctor, I feel like a pony!
Doctor: Do not worry - you are just a little hoarse!

Have you heard about the doctor who made enough money in his medical practice that he could occasionally tell a patient that there was nothing wrong with him?

Stuart: “First I got tonsillitis, followed by appendicitis and pneumonia. After that, I got erysipelas with hemochromatosis. Following that, I got poliomyelitis, and finally, I ended up with neuritis. Then they gave me hypodermics and inoculations.”
Wallace: “Wow, you had a time!”
Stuart: “I’ll say! I thought I would never pull through that spelling test.”

A nurse was giving a young medical intern a tour of the hospital. The intern approached one bedridden patient and asked, “Why are you here?” The patient replied, “O my Luve’s like a red, red rose that’s newly sprung in June.” The intern moved on to the next bed and asked the same question, “Why are you here?” The patient answered, “Man’s inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn!” The intern moved on to a third bed and asked again, “Why are you here?” to which the third patient replied, “The best laid plans of mice and men may often gang awry.” At this, the intern turned to the nurse and asked, “What ward is this anyway?” The nurse answered, “It’s the Burns Unit.”

Patient: Doctor, how do I cure my sleepwalking?
Doctor: Put bubble-wrap on your bedroom floor.

“The great secret of medicine, known to doctors but still hidden from the public, is that most things get better by themselves.” -Lewis Thomas

If one doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does he doctor the doctor the way a doctor who doctors doctors doctors doctors?

Patient: Doctor, do I have an underactive thyroid?
Doctor: No, just an overactive fork.

A fellow walked into a doctor’s office, and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.” She took down his name, address, medical insurance number, and then told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.” She took down his height, weight, and medical history, and then told him to wait in the waiting room. Half an hour later, a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.” So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and then told him to take off his clothes and wait for the doctor. An hour later, the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.” The doctor said, “Where?” The man said, “Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?”

Patient: “When I touch my tongue to aluminum foil wrapped around a balloon while leaning against my washing machine, I feel a peculiar tingling in my toes - what is wrong with me?”
Doctor: “You have too much spare time.”

“No families take so little medicine as those of doctors, except those of apothecaries*.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Junior (1841 - 1935): “Medical Essays”
*apothecaries are similar to pharmacists but different somehow

Patient: I think I’m losing my memory.
Doctor: When did it start?
Patient: When did what start?

“I wonder why you can always read a doctor’s bill but you can never read his prescription.” -Finley Peter Dunne (1867 - 1936)

“Doctor’s office: A place where people who are run down wind up.” -Author Unknown

Parent: Doctor, Doctor, my child has swallowed a pen!
Doctor: Do not worry - just use a pencil until I get there.

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. “Where are you hurting?” asked the doctor. “You have to help me, I hurt all over,” said the woman. “What do you mean, all over?” asked the doctor, “be a little more specific.” The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, “Oh, that hurts!” Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, “Ouch! That hurts, too.” Then she touched her right earlobe, “Even that hurts,” she cried. The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and then told her his diagnosis: “You have a broken finger.”

“The best six doctors: sunshine, water, rest, air, exercise, diet.” -Wayne Fields

“First, do no harm.” [translation to English]
“Primum non nocere.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown: “Hippocratic Oath”

A saintly Christian fellow went to the doctor for a medical checkup. He said to the doctor, “I feel terrible. I have excruciating pains in my head. Please tell me what is wrong with me.” “Let’s begin with a few questions,” said the doctor. “Do you drink much?” “Alcohol?” said the man. “I’m a teetotaler. Never touch a drop of that stuff.” “How about smoking?” asked the doctor. “Never,” replied the man. “Tobacco is bad and I have strong principles against it.” “Are you up late nights?” asked the doctor. “Oh, no,” said the man. “Worldliness is a sin. I’m against it. I am always in bed by 9:30 every night - always have been.” “I have seen this before,” said the doctor. “It just may be that your halo is on too tight.”

Doctor: You appear to have a cold.
Patient: Actually, I am just rehearsing for the part of Sneezy in “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”

“Doctor: The only person who actually enjoys poor health.” -Author Unknown

Mister Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you will have lost at least five pounds.” When Mr. Lee returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly sixty pounds. “Why, that is simply amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?” Mr. Lee nodded. “I will tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead on the third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” “No, from skipping.”

A Brief History of Medicine: “Doctor, I have an ear ache.”
- “Here, eat this root.” (2000 B.C.E.)
- “That root is heathen; here, say this magic spell.” (1000 B.C.E.)
- “That magic spell is superstition, drink this potion.” (1850)
- “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.” (1940)
- “That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.” (1985)
- “That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.” (2000)

Will doctors ever go from ‘practicing medicine’ to ‘conducting medicine’?

Patient, on telephone: Doctor, there’s something very wrong with me. My head feels squashed, my voice sounds strange, I smell something peculiar, and one of my feet is cold. What could be wrong with me?
Doctor: You are probably wearing one of your socks on your head.

A man walked into a doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, Doctor, I have a strawberry growing on my arm!” The doctor replied, “I can give you some cream for that.”

Patient: Doctor, I think my eyesight is getting worse.
Clerk: It certainly is - this is a jewelry store!

“My stomach has been bothering me, Doctor,” complained the patient. “What have you been eating?” asked the doctor. “I only eat jelly beans.” “Jelly beans?!” exclaimed the astonished doctor. “Maybe that is the trouble. What kind do you eat?” “All kinds,” replied the man, “Red ones for breakfast, yellow and orange ones for lunch, blue ones for afternoon snacks, and purple and black for dinner.” “I see the problem,” said the doctor. “You haven’t been getting any greens!”

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking there are two of me.
Doctor: One at a time, please.

“God heales, and the physitian hath the thankes.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in George Herbert (1593 - 1633): “Jacula Prudentum; or Outlandish Proverbs, Sentences, &c. Selected by Mr. George Herbert” (1651), proverb 169

“A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a yo-yo.
Doctor: Are you stringing me along?

“I cannot do the things I used to do,” a patient said to the doctor. “I wish you had some magic way of making me younger.” “You have it all wrong,” the doctor said. “My job is to see that you get older.”

Doctor: Have you ever had trouble with dyspepsia?
Patience: Only once.
Doctor: When was that?
Patient: When I tried to spell it.

A typical American hospital has three to six times more employees than patients. So, the next time you go to the hospital, perhaps it should be to fill out an employment application.

Patient: Doctor, how long will my arm be in this cast?
Doctor: At least six weeks.
Patient: When you remove it, will I be able to play the violin?
Doctor: Of course.
Patient: That is great, because I could never play one before.

A woman rushed into a doctor’s office and shouted, “Doctor, I think I’m shrinking!” The doctor calmly responded, “Now settle down. You will just have to be a little patient.”

Patient: Doctor, can you give me something for my liver?
Doctor: Certainly - here is an onion!

A doctor had worked out the vacation plans for the people he had working in his office. As they looked at the schedule, the doctor said, “All in favor, stick out your tongues and say, ‘Aaahhh.’”

Farmer: Doctor, I have potatoes in my ears.
Doctor: How did that happen?
Farmer: I do not know - I planted carrots.

Have you heard about the doctor who wrote out a prescription in the usual doctor’s fashion? The patient used it for two years as a railroad pass. Twice it got him into Radio City Music Hall, and once into Yankee Stadium. It came in handy as a letter from his supervisor to the personnel director to increase his salary. And, to top it off, his daughter played it on the piano and won a scholarship to the Curtis Music Conservatory.

“Medical education is not completed at the medical school, it is only begun.” -William H. Welch

A doctor decided to take a week off from the pressures of his busy medical practice, and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling. Seconds later, a sheet of snow came crashing toward him. Fortunately, the doctor was able to jump into a cave just before the avalanche could overtake him. Just as luckily, he had matches with him and was able to light a fire. Hours later, when everyone but the doctor had returned to the lodge from a day of skiing, a rescue team was sent out to search for him. It was nearly dark when the searchers saw smoke curling from the cave and went to investigate. Poking his head in the cave, one of the rescuers yelled, “Doctor, are you in there? It’s the Red Cross.” Bristling, the harried doctor called back, “I already gave at the office!”

Patient on phone: I cannot sleep, Doctor. Can you do anything for me?
Doctor: Stay on the phone and I will sing you a lullaby.

If these jokes are not making you feel better, it may be time to see your doctor, and if these jokes are making you feel better, it may be time to see your doctor - what do we know, we are not doctors and we do not give medical advice . . . we are MFOL!

0 Comments

Dance and Dancing

9/25/2020

0 Comments

“There are short-cuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them.” -Vicki Baum

“When you take dancing lessons, you learn steps and you learn steps and you learn steps. It can go on for a long time. And then one day, you just learn to dance, and it is so different.” -Bill Austin

“When dancing, if you get confused, just jump around and wave your arms.” -Author Unknown

“Dancing is the poetry of the foot.” -John Dryden (1631 - 1700)

A Tango dancer once decided to shine his dirty shoes by rubbing them against his trousers while dancing in a competition. Thinking that he was doing a dance move, other people started doing it . . . and that is the story of how the ‘Shine’ dance move began.

The Polka Dance

My cousin Nance came from France
To teach me the Polka dance.
First the heels, then the toes,
Yes, that’s the way the Polka goes.

by Author Unknown

“Put a little fun into your life. Try dancing.” -Kathryn Murray

“Socrates learned to dance when he was seventy because he felt that an essential part of himself had been neglected.” -Author Unknown

Hugh: Why is the new dance named ‘The Elevator’?
Grant: Because it has no steps!

“Learning to walk set you free. Learning to dance gives you the greatest freedom of all: to express your whole self, the person you are.” -Melissa Hayden (pseudonym of Mildred Herman (1923 - 2006))

We are the Dancers

We dance for laughter,
We dance for tears,
We dance for madness,
We dance for fears,
We dance for happiness,
We dance for screams,
We are the dancers . . .
We create the dream!

by Author Unknown

“Every day I count wasted in which there has been no dancing.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“We are fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.” -Author Unknown

“I have no desire to prove anything by dancing. I have never used it as an outlet or as a means of expressing myself. I just dance.” -Fred Astaire (pseudonym of Frederick Austerlitz (1899 - 1987))

The Old Woman from France

There came an old woman from France
Who taught grown-up children to dance;
But they were so stiff,
She sent them home in a sniff,
This sprightly old woman from France.

by Author Unknown

“As soon as I hear music, something in me starts to vibrate.” -Suzanne Farrell

“‘On with the dance, let the joy be unconfined!’ is my motto, whether there’s any dance to dance or any joy to unconfine.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“We do not always dance because we are happy, but we dance and cannot help but become happy.” -Author Unknown

“Our classes are our practices. Our dance sneakers are our equipment. Our teacher is our coach. Our dance clothes are our jerseys. Our performances are our matches. Our audiences are our fans. Our concert is our tournament. The rhythm is our rule. Failure is our opponent; we will not lose. This is our game. This is our sport.” -Vala Yankovski

Esther: Why did the tap dancer retire?
Astaire: He kept falling in the sink.

“You don’t grow old and stop dancing; you stop dancing and grow old.” -Jessie M. Newburn

Some Actual Dance Names
- The Construction Worker
- The Fruit Bowl
- The Jay Walker
- The Lame Duck
- The Road Runner
- The Robot
- The Slip and Slide
- The Trampoline Dance
- The Trip and Fall
Can you think of other dances with zany names?

“If you stumble, make it part of the dance.” -Author Unknown

“Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.” -Dave Barry (David McAlister Barry (born 1947))

“You can dance anywhere, even if only in your heart.” -Author Unknown

Dance and Dancing Facts
- Moderate dancing burns 250 to 300 calories an hour.
- Somewhere someone is dancing even as you read these very words.
- Now it’s your turn - what do you know about dancing?

“We look at the dance to impart the sensation of living in an affirmation of life, to energize the spectator into keener awareness of the vigor, the mystery, the humor, the variety, and the wonder of life.” -Martha Graham

“All that music and only two feet.” -Author Unknown

“I will make an average man into an average dancer, provided he be passably well made. I will teach him how to move his arms and legs, to turn his head. I will give him steadiness, brilliancy, and speed; but I cannot endow him with that fire and intelligence, those graces and that expression of feeling which is the soul of true pantomime.” -Jean Georges Noverre

“Dancing is poetry with arms and legs.” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)

“Dancing allows me to explore myself in so many ways, to learn about my limitations and strengths, my ability to cope with adversity and to go farther than I thought I could. You find out what you’re made of.” -Andrew Asnes

You need dance lessons right away - there’s no time to waste! Visit Fred Astaire Dance Studios at https://www.fredastaire.com/.

“Some people seem to think that good dancers are born, but all the good dancers I have known are taught or trained.” -Fred Astaire (pseudonym of Frederick Austerlitz (1899 - 1987))

Fae: Why did the rooster dance across the floor?
Phineas: To ask the hen to dance.

“Happiness is finding the right dance partner.” -Author Unknown

Types of Dances and Dance Styles
- Ballet
- Ballroom
- Couples
- Disco
- Irish Jig
- Line
- Polka
- Solo
- Square
- Tap
Can you think of other types of dances or dance styles?

“Enjoy the process of learning to dance. The process of our profession, and not its final achievement, is the heart and soul of dance.” -Jacques d’Amboise

“Dancing is moving to the music without stepping on anyone’s toes, pretty much the same as life.” -Robert Brault (born 1938)

“It’s not magic! It’s physics. The speed of the turn is what keeps you upright.” -Deborah Bull

“Dance when you hear music.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I don’t want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance.” -George Balanchine (Georgy Melitonovich Balanchivadze)

“On dancing on pointe: Why don’t they just get taller girls?” -Henny Youngman (Henry ‘Henny’ Youngman (1906 - 1998))

“There are two ways of being creative. One can sing and dance. Or one can create an environment in which singers and dancers flourish.” -Mary Lou Cook (1918 - 2013)

“Dancing is the art of pulling your feet away faster than your partner can step on them.” -Author Unknown

“No sane man will dance.” -Marcus Tullius Cicero (also known as Tully or simply Cicero (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.))

“There is a bit of insanity in dancing that does everybody a great deal of good.” -Edwin Denby (Edwin Orr Denby (1903 - 1983))

“You have to love dancing to stick to it. It gives you nothing back, no manuscripts to store away, no paintings to show on walls and maybe hang in museums, no poems to be printed and sold, nothing but that single fleeting moment when you feel alive.” -Merce Cunningham

“Why walk when you can dance?” -Author Unknown

“They who love dancing too much seem to have more brains in their feet than in their head.” -Publius Terentius Afer (also known simply as Terence (185 B.C.E. - 159 B.C.E.))

“Think of the magic of the foot, comparatively small, upon which your whole weight rests. It’s a miracle, and the dance . . . is a celebration of that miracle.” -Martha Graham

Joy: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Bliss: To get to the barn dance, of course!

“To dance is to live.” -John Milton (1608 - 1674): “L’Allegro” (1645)

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)

“In life, as in dance, grace glides on blistered feet.” -Alice Abrams

“I set as my goal to be the best dancer I could be. Not the most famous, or the highest paid dancer, just the best I could be. Out of this discipline came great freedom and calm.” -Suzanne Farrell

Chorophobia is a persistent fear dancing. Weddings, proms, and parties may pose problems for those who suffer from a fear of dancing. Try singing instead . . . la, la, la, la! Everybody can do something, right? Okay, maybe whistling? Counting on your fingers and toes?

“Dancers have a very hard job. We must take our ugly, callused, blistered, and bruised feet and present them in a way so that they are mistaken as the most beautiful things on Earth.” -Author Unknown

“Thousands of emotions well up inside me throughout the day. They are released when I dance.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“. . . those move easiest who have learn’d to dance.” -Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744)

“I found that dance was key to keeping depression out of my life. When you dance, things just go away, things don’t seem so bad. There’s no better way to take care of health than through something as joyous and beautiful as dance.” -Patrick Swayze (Patrick Wayne Swayze (1952 - 2009))

“Dance is the only art in which we ourselves are the stuff of which it is made.” -Ted Shawn

“Dance isn’t just about fancy footwork. It requires grace, discipline, and major muscles.” -Author Unknown

You may have noticed this article does not specifically mention Ballet Dancing, but only hints at it ever so slightly - and that is because the topic will be covered in another article . . . on MFOL!

“When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way.” -Wayne Dyer (Wayne Walter Dyer (born 1940))

“Dancing is silent poetry.” -Simonides

“I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.” -Mikhail Baryshnikov

“On the dance floor, as in life, you’re only as good as your partner.” -Robin Marantz Henig

“If you think dancers aren’t athletes, think again.” -Author Unknown

Old Lady of France

There was an old lady of France,
Who taught little ducklings to dance;
When she said, “Tick-a-tack!” -
They only said, “Quack!”
Which grieved that old lady of France.

by Edward Lear

“Dancing is like life: it’s good to have a plan, but be prepared to improvise.” -Author Unknown

“When you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.” -Lee Ann Womack

“Life is a dance, from one stage to the next.” -Author Unknown

“Let us dance in the sun, wearing wild flowers in our hair . . .” -Susan Polis Shutz (born 1944 as Susan Polis)

Overheard: Do you hear that? That music means I have to dance!

Now we make our way with fancy footwork to the next article . . . on MFOL!

0 Comments

Art

9/19/2020

0 Comments

“The motivation of all artists is, ‘Look at me, Mum’.” -Sebastian Horsley

“Art is creating something beautiful where nothing existed before.” -Author Unknown

Question: They are now worth millions of dollars each, and are much sought after, but how many paintings did Vincent Van Gogh sell in his lifetime?
Answer: Vincent Van Gogh sold exactly one of his paintings during his entire lifetime, titled “Red Vineyard at Arles,” which was bought by his brother.

“I cannot help it that my pictures do not sell. Nevertheless the time will come when people will see that they are worth more than the price of the paint.” -Vincent van Gogh (Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 - 1890)): in a letter (20 October 1888) to his brother Theo

Alice: What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
Alicia: “I love you with all my art!”

Do you need some art to decorate your castle, palace, one-room apartment, office, mini-mansion, dorm room, cubicle, tent, estate, or cave? Visit www.FreeArt.com. Be sure to tell them you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“Real art is illumination . . . It adds stature to life.” -Brooks Atkinson (Justin Brooks ‘Brooks’ Atkinson (1894 - 1984))

“A very rich man once commissioned a famous artist to do a painting of a fish. One year later the man returned and asked for his painting. The artist took out a clean sheet of paper and painted a beautiful fish while the man waited. The man then asked why it had taken a year to get the painting of the fish. The artist opened a door to a closet, which was filled with 1,000 paintings of that fish.” -Author Unknown

Claudia: Where can cow art be found?
Clyde: In moo-seums!

During an exhibit at a museum, a modern artist was explaining his work. “This,” he said, pointing to a completely blank canvas, “is a cow grazing.” “Where is the grass?” asked a visitor. “The cow has eaten it,” the artist answered. “Well, then,” the visitor said, “where is the cow?” “Do you think she would stick around,” the artist replied, “after she had eaten all the grass?”

“The fact that no one understands you doesn’t make you an artist.” -Author Unknown

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Drew.
Drew, who?
Drew a picture for you!

“The greatest masterpieces were once only pigments on a palette.” -Henry S. Haskins (Henry Stanley Haskins (1876 - 1957))

“If I didn’t start painting, I would have raised chickens.” -Grandma Moses (Anna Mary Robertson Moses (1860 - 1961))

[Henri] “Matisse’s painting “Le Bateau” hung upside down in the Museum of Modern Art, New York, for forty-seven days before anyone noticed (October 18 to December 4, 1961). In that period 116,000 people had visited the gallery.” -Jean Cocteau (1890 - 1963): “Past Tense: Diaries” (1987), Volume 1

Sculpture: An art that consists of eliminating all superfluous material.

“I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don’t need.” -Auguste Rodin (also known as François Auguste René Rodin, Auguste-René Rodin, and François-Auguste Rodin (1840 - 1917)), when asked how he managed to make his statues

“Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.” -Frank Zappa

Bo

An artistic young man called Bo,
To an art class decided to go.
     The teacher said, “Not right -
     Your page is all white!”
Bo said, “It is a polar bear in snow.”

by Author Unknown

Luther: What did the art dealer say when you asked what the abstract picture was supposed to be?
Rutherford: “It is a reflection of the person looking at it.”

Overheard: You are my favorite work of art.

A Still-Life

An artist woke up from his slumbers
To paint a still-life of cucumbers.
     When asked for a hint
     About color or tint
He said, “Wait ’til I mark down the numbers.”

by Author Unknown: a limerick about paint-by-numbers

“Sometimes there is no need to be either clever or original.” -Ivan Chermayeff

“There are only two styles of portrait painting, the serious and the smirk.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870))

“Art is life seen through a temperament.” -Émile Zola

“Every time I paint a portrait I lose a friend.” -John Singer Sargent (1856 - 1925): as quoted in Evan Esar: “The Dictionary of Humorous Quotations” (1949)

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” -Michelangelo (Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni, also known as Buonarroti Michelangelo (1475 - 1564))

“Art is awesome!” -Author Unknown

“I am a poor man and of little worth, who is laboring in that art that God has given me in order to extend my life as long as possible.” -Michelangelo (Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni, also known as Buonarroti Michelangelo (1475 - 1564))

“Looking at ‘modern art’ is like trying to follow the plot in a bowl of alphabet soup.” -Author Unknown

“In art the hand can never execute anything higher than the heart can inspire.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

Who is to say that this is not art? We could call it “Birds on a Wall” . . . what do you think?

“It’s clever, but is it art?” -Rudyard Kipling (1865 - 1936)

“I don’t know if it’s art, but I know I like it.” -Walt Disney (Walter Elias ‘Walt’ Disney (1901 - 1966)): as attributed in Frank Thomas and Ollie Johnston: “Disney Animation: The Illusion of Life” (1981)

“There’s no correlation between creativity and equipment ownership. None. Zilch. Nada. Actually, as the artist gets more into his thing, and as he gets more successful, his number of tools tends to go down. He knows what works for him. Expending mental energy on stuff wastes time.” -Hugh Macleod

“Sculpture is what you bump into when you back up to see a painting.” -Barnett Newman

“Everyone wants to understand art. Why not try to understand the song of a bird?” -Pablo Picasso (Pablo Diego Jose Francisco do Paula Juan Nepomuceno Cipriano de la Santissima Trinidad (1881 - 1973))

“When one buys some of my artwork I hope it is because they will wish to learn from it and not because they think it will match their drapes!” -Christian Cardell Corbet (1997)

“Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.” -Thomas Merton (1915 - 1968)

“Abstract art? A product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.” -Al Capp (Alfred Gerald Caplin (1909 - 1979)): as quoted in the “National Observer” (1 July 1963)

“Good art does exist, though less and less in the world. It is worth a few dollars, though never any outrageous sum of money. What is now called art is usually color smears on a surface or pieces of material that has been mangled or stacked off-center and called a sculpture, and at this time, much of what is called art is only a way to separate the gullible from their money. Perhaps someday the world will return to good art and to paying just a few dollars for it.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“The history of modern art is also the history of the progressive loss of art’s audience. Art has increasingly become the concern of the artist and the bafflement of the public.” -Paul Gauguin

“Art never expresses anything but itself.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

“Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.” -Tom Stoppard (born 1937 as Tomás Straussler): “Artist Descending a Staircase” (1972)

“Modern art - isn’t that like music with an irregular beat that nobody ever notices, because it is really only background noise?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Annabelle: How does Salvador Dali start his mornings?
Christabel: With a bowl of breakfast ‘surreal.’

“The purpose of art is to stop time.” -Bob Dylan

“A truism regarding Modern Art: Not all artists are playing a joke on the public. Some are genuinely mad.” -Author Unknown

“The more horrifying this world becomes, the more art becomes abstract.” -Paul Klee

“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” -Scott Adams (Scott Raymond Adams (born 1957))

“Artists are just children who refuse to put down their crayons.” -Al Hirschfeld

“Painting is easy when you don’t know how but very difficult when you do.” -Edgar Degas

“Art is like a border of flowers along the course of civilization.” -Lincoln Steffens (1846 - 1936)

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Monet!
Monet, who?
Monet for art does not grow on trees!

“The arts are an even better barometer of what is happening in our world than the stock market or the debates in congress.” -Hendrik Willem Van Loon: “The Arts”

Kevin: Which artists live on farms?
Nikki: Vincent van Goat and Pablo Pigcaso.

“An artist is someone who produces things that people don’t need to have but that he - for some reason - thinks it would be a good idea to give them.” -Andy Warhol (Andrew Warhola): “Philosophy of Andy Warhol (From A to B and Back Again)” (1975), chapter 10

“No art, however minor, demands less than total dedication if you want to excel in it.” -Alberti (Leon Battista Alberti (1404 - 1472))

Moe: What does an artist draw just before going to bed?
Joe: Is it the blinds or the curtains?

“No masterpiece was ever created by a lazy artist.” -Salvador Dali

A doodle is a tiny sketch of a character or object; a whacky doodle is a whimsical such drawing.

“The artistic temperament is a disease that afflicts amateurs.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936)): “Heretics” (1905), Chapter 16

“A painting is never finished; it simply stops in interesting places.” -Paul Gardner

“Can anyone explain art?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“It looks like a tortoise-shell cat having a fit in a platter of tomatoes.” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)), commenting on a modern art painting

“A primitive artist is an amateur whose work sells.” -Grandma Moses (Anna Mary Robertson Moses (1860 - 1961))

“The prudent painter should know how to paint what is appropriate to the individual, the time, and the place . . . Is it not an error to paint St. Jerome with a red hat, like the one cardinals wear today? He was indeed a cardinal, but he did not wear such a costume, since it was Pope Innocent IV, more than 700 years later, who gave cardinals their red hats and red gowns . . . All this proceeds from the ignorance of painters.” -Gilio da Cybele: “Dialogue on the Error of Painters” (1564), as quoted in Daniel J. Boorstin: “The Discoverers” (1983)

“It is not hard to understand modern art. If it hangs on a wall, it’s a painting, and if you can walk around it, it’s a sculpture.” -Author Unknown

“All art is but imitation of nature.” -Lucius Annaeus Seneca (also known as Seneca the Younger or simply Seneca (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“In his lifetime van Gogh painted 486 paintings. Oddly enough, 8,975 of them are to be found in the United States.” -Werner Lansburgh

Signs That You Might Be an Artist
- The only piece of new furniture in your home is a $2,000 easel.
- You chose your car for its color rather than fuel economy.
- You butter your toast with your fingers just to feel its texture.
- You have nothing to wear on a date because everything has paint smears on it.
- Your date ends up with paint smears on him or her.
- There are Prussian blue fingerprints on your telephone.
- You know what color of green the lichen growing on the tree is.
- You know the names of more than twenty-eight colors.
- You are more than a month behind on your rent.
- When you take a day off to relax at the beach, you take along an easel, paint, brushes, and several blank canvasses.
- The only book you own is a book with large full-color illustrations of renaissance art, with paint smears on the pages.
- You frequently take your work on the road by loading up your vehicle with examples of your best art and make the rounds of the galleries in nearby towns, and you wonder if Monet ever did the same thing with a horse and wagon.

“The ‘Earth’ without ‘art’ is just ‘Eh.’” -Author Unknown

[Of James Whistler] “His most famous painting was titled “Arrangement in Grey and Black No. 1” (1871), but it’s more commonly known as “Whistler’s Mother.” It’s a portrait of Anna Matilda McNeill Whistler in a black dress, seated in profile against a gray wall. When Whistler’s scheduled model didn’t show up for a sitting, he decided to paint his mother instead.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Writer’s Almanac” (11 July 2012)

“Art is the unceasing effort to compete with the beauty of flowers - and never succeeding.” -Gian Carlo Menotti (1911 - 2007)

“Some people color inside the lines, others color outside the lines. Me? I eat the crayons.” -Bill Carter

“The highest triumph of art, is the truest presentation of nature.” -Nathaniel Parker Willis (1806 - 1867)

This is MFOL! . . . it’s like fine art that is available to everyone . . .

0 Comments

Problems and Solutions

9/12/2020

0 Comments

Oysters have an elegant solution to a problem. When a grain of sand gets inside their shells, they respond by coating the irritant in a layer of the material that lines their shells, commonly referred to as ’mother-of-pearl.’ After repeated coatings, the result is a shiny round object called a pearl. The problem is an irritant such as a grain of sand, and the solution is a pearl. Can oysters teach us how to solve problems?

“I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))

“A problem well stated is a problem half-solved.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.” -Maya Angelou (born Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

“The best angle to approach a problem is from the try angle.” -Author Unknown

“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.” -Duke Ellington (Edward Kennedy ‘Duke’ Ellington (1899 - 1974))

“What a pity human beings can’t exchange problems. Everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellow’s.” -Olin Miller (1918 - 2002)

“The problems we face are human problems and therefore are capable of human solutions.” -Frederick Moore Vinson

“People who believe a problem can be solved tend to get busy solving it.” -William Raspberry

“Every big problem was at one time a wee little disturbance.” -Author Unknown

“The easiest way to solve a problem is to pick an easy one.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980))

“The world’s biggest problems are the world’s biggest business opportunities.” -Peter Diamandis

Overheard: Everything is figureoutable.

“The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

“All life is problem solving.” -Karl Popper (1902 - 1994)

“I’ve yet to see any problem, however complicated, which when you looked at it the right way didn’t become still more complicated.” -Poul Anderson (Poul William Anderson (1926 - 2001)): ‘Call Me Joe’ novelette published in “Astounding Science Fiction” (April 1957) magazine

“A feeling of confidence and personal power comes from facing challenges and overcoming them.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Problems are the price of success.” -Branch Rickey (Wesley ‘Branch’ Rickey (1881 - 1965))

“. . . so it will be forever; that after every storm the Sun will smile, for every problem there is a solution, and that the soul’s indefeasible duty is to be of good cheer . . .” -William R. Alger (William Rounseville Alger (1822 - 1905)): “The School of Life” (1881), ‘Lesson of Faith,’ page 71

“It’s not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.” -Ashleigh Brilliant (Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant (born 1933)): as quoted in “Reader’s Digest” magazine

“Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.” -Paul Erdos (1913 - 1996)

“It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it.” -John Steinbeck (John Ernst Steinbeck, Junior (1902 - 1968))

“No problem can be solved until it is reduced to some simple form. The changing of a vague difficulty into a specific, concrete form is a very essential element in thinking.” -J. P. Morgan (John Pierpont ‘J. P.’ Morgan (1837 - 1913))

“There are as many solutions as there are human beings.” -George Tooker (George Clair Tooker, Junior (1920 - 2011))

“It is no good getting furious if you get stuck. What I do is keep thinking about the problem but work on something else. Sometimes it is years before I see the way forward. In the case of information loss and black holes, it was 29 years.” -Stephen Hawking (Stephen William Hawking (1942 - 2018))

“‘We have a problem.’ ‘Congratulations.’ ‘But it’s a tough problem.’ ‘Then double congratulations.’” -W. Clement Stone (William Clement Stone (1902 - 2002))

“The one common challenge of all humanity is the challenge of problems.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“After every difficulty, ask yourself two questions: ‘What did I do right?’ and ‘What would I do differently?’” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys.” -Rita Schiano

“Your problems aren’t going to solve themselves, you know.” -Author Unknown

“Focus on remedies, not faults.” -Jack Nicklaus (Jack William Nicklaus (born 1940))

“Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” -Joshua J. Marine

“All problems become smaller if you don’t dodge them, but confront them.” -William F. Halsey (William Frederick ‘Bull’ Halsey, Junior (1882 - 1959))

“This problem, too, will look simple after it is solved.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“We will find the solution . . . together.” -Author Unknown

“You are the only problem you will ever have and you are the only solution.” -Bob Proctor (born 1934)

“A small trouble is like a pebble. Hold it too close to your eye, and it puts everything out of focus. Hold it at proper viewing distance, and it can be examined and classified. Throw it at your feet, and it can be seen in its true setting, just one more tiny bump on the pathway to eternity.” -Celia Luce (Celia Larsen Luce (1914 - 2008))

“The solution of every problem is another problem.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.” -Earl Shoaff (John Earl Shoaff (1916 - 1965))

“I don’t have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.” -Ashleigh Brilliant (Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant (born 1933))

“Do not be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.” -Author Unknown

“The biggest problem in the world could have been solved when it was small.” -Witter Bynner (Harold ‘Witter’ Bynner (1881 - 1968))

“Nobody, as long as he moves among the chaotic currents of life, is without trouble.” -C. G. Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961))

“An expert problem solver must be endowed with two incompatible qualities - a restless imagination and a patient pertinacity.” -Howard W. Eves (Howard Whitley Eves (1911 - 2004))

“I’ve never seen a problem that was solved by only complaining about it.” -Steve Keating (Stephen F. Keating (1918 - 2001))

“Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.” -René Descartes (1596 - 1650): “Discours de la Methode” (1637)

“Beset by a difficult problem? Now is your chance to shine. Pick yourself up, get to work, and get triumphantly through it.” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955))

“There are no problems, just challenges.” -Author Unknown

“The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it.” -Alan Saporta (Alan H. Saporta (born 1943))

“Avoid problems, and you’ll never be the one who overcame them.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“Don’t tell me that this problem is difficult. If it wasn’t difficult, it wouldn’t be a problem.” [translation to English]
“Ne me dites pas que ce problème est difficile. S’il n’était pas difficile, ce ne serait pas un problème.” [original French]
-Ferdinand Foch (Ferdinand Jean Marie Foch (1851 - 1929))

“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” -Theodore Rubin (Theodore Isaac Rubin (born 1923))

Overheard: All of the easy problems have already been solved.

“Discovery of a solution consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else and thinking something different.” -Albert Szent-Györgyi (1893 - 1986)

“It’s good to remember that the tea kettle, although up to its neck in hot water, continues to sing.” -Author Unknown

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as unsolvable problems.” -John W. Gardner (John William Gardner (1912 - 2002))

“Focus on the solution, not the problem.” -Walter Anderson (born 1944)

“Every problem contains within itself the seeds of its own solution.” -Edward Somers

“A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talked to each other instead of about each other.” -Author Unknown

“When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“It isn’t that they can’t see the solution. It is that they can’t see the problem.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936))

“When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail.” -Abraham Maslow (Abraham Harold Maslow (1908 - 1970)): “The Psychology of Science” (1966)

“Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.” -Henry J. Kaiser (Henry John Kaiser (1882 - 1967))

“Nothing lasts forever - not even your troubles.” -Arnold Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“No problem is so complicated that you cannot make it more complicated.” -Andy Grove (Andrew Stephen ‘Andy’ Grove (1936 - 2016))

“There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. We seek out problems because we need their gifts.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.” -Denis Waitley (born 1933)

“Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.” -Alan Watts (Alan Wilson Watts (1915 - 1973))

“There is a remedy for everything, could men find it.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in George Herbert (1593 - 1633): “Jacula Prudentum; or Outlandish Proverbs, Sentences, &c. Selected by Mr. George Herbert” (1651)

Problems worthy of attack
prove their worth by hitting back.
-Piet Hein (1905 - 1996)

“Whenever we have a really difficult or impossible problem in life, we should take it to a math teacher. As you may remember from school, math teachers are good at giving problems to us, and they are good at showing us how to solve them, as well.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“The issue is not that our problems are too big but that our imaginations are too small.” -Marianne Williamson (born 1952)

“It often happens that I wake at night and begin to think about a serious problem and decide I must tell the Pope about it. Then I wake up completely and remember that I am the Pope.” -Pope John XXIII (born Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli (1881 - 1963))

“Problems are to the mind what exercise is to the muscles, they toughen and make strong.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“The first requisite for success is the ability to apply your physical and mental energies to one problem incessantly without growing weary.” -Herbert Spencer (1820 - 1903)

“The ‘how’ thinker gets problems solved effectively because he wastes no time with futile ‘ifs.’” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.” -Theodore N. Vail (Theodore Newton Vail (1845 - 1920))

“I am so grateful for my troubles. As I reflect back on my life, I have come to realize that my greatest triumphs have been born of my greatest troubles.” -Steve Maraboli (born 1975): “Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience” (2013)

“No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“To solve a problem, walk around.” -Jerome (also known as Eusebius Sophronius Hieronymus (about C.E. 347 - C.E. 420))

“The first step towards the solution of any problem is optimism.” -John Baines

“Never make troubles of trifles.” -Author Unknown

“When I’m working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“Trouble is My Business.” -Raymond Chandler (1888 - 1959): title of article in “Dime Detective Magazine” (August 1939), and the credo of his fictional detective Philip Marlowe

“Problems are questions that ask, ‘How can you best handle us?’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Creativity can solve almost any problem. The creative act, the defeat of habit by originality, overcomes everything.” -George Lois

“The most important thing to do in solving a problem is to begin.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

We are MFOL! . . . may all of your problems be funny ones . . . and may all of your solutions be fun . . .

0 Comments

Environmentalism & Animal Rights Advocacy

9/6/2020

0 Comments

‘Tree-hugger’ is another name for an environmentalist.

“Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar.” -Bradley Millar

“I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes.” -P. J. O’Rourke

“And all young people are concerned environmentalists, but no one is interested in keeping the schoolyard clean!” -David McKay

“I am I plus my surroundings, and if I do not preserve the latter, I do not preserve myself.” -José Ortega y Gasset (1883 - 1955): “Meditations of Quixote” (1911)

Kindness to Animals

Speak gently to the herring and kindly to the calf,
Be blithesome with the bunny, at barnacles don’t laugh!
Give nuts unto the monkey, and buns unto the bear,
Ne’er hint at currant jelly if you chance to see a hare!
Oh, little girls, pray hide your combs when tortoises draw nigh,
And never in the hearing of a pigeon whisper Pie!
But give the stranded jelly-fish a shove into the sea, -
Be always kind to animals wherever you may be!
Oh, make not game of sparrows, nor faces at the ram,
And ne’er allude to mint sauce when calling on a lamb.
Don’t beard the thoughtful oyster, don’t dare the cod to crimp,
Don’t cheat the pike, or ever try to pot the playful shrimp.
Tread lightly on the turning worm, don’t bruise the butterfly,
Don’t ridicule the wry-neck, nor sneer at salmon-fry;
Oh, ne’er delight to make dogs fight, nor bantams disagree, -
Be always kind to animals wherever you may be!
Be lenient with lobsters, and ever kind to crabs,
And be not disrespectful to cuttle-fish or dabs;
Chase not the Cochin-China, chaff not the ox obese,
And babble not of feather-beds in company with geese.
Be tender with the tadpole, and let the limpet thrive,
Be merciful to mussels, don’t skin your eels alive;
When talking to a turtle don’t mention calipee-
Be always kind to animals wherever you may be.

-J. Ashby-Sterry

“We must fight against the spirit of unconscious cruelty with which we treat the animals. Animals suffer as much as we do. True humanity does not allow us to impose such sufferings on them. It is our duty to make the whole world recognize it. Until we extend our circle of compassion to all living things, humanity will not find peace.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965): “The Philosophy of Civilization” (1951)

“If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.” -Jack Handey (born 1949)

“People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it’s safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.” -Author Unknown

“It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians.” -Henrik Ibsen (Henrik Johan ‘Henrik’ Ibsen (1828 - 1906))

“The environment is everything that isn’t me.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“Over increasingly large areas of the United States, spring now comes unheralded by the return of the birds, and the early mornings are strangely silent where once they were filled with the beauty of bird song.” -Rachel Carson (1907 - 1964): “Silent Spring” (27 September 1962)

“Remember, people, if you were meant to have a fur coat, nature would have given you one. Do not be a thief and steal a fur coat from some animal who is its rightful owner.” -Author Unknown

When is Earth Day? Earth Day is observed by environmental activists on 22 April of each year. If you are a regular person and not an environmental activist, Earth Day is every day.

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.” -Doctor Seuss (pseudonym of Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 - 1991)): “The Lorax” (1971)

The Chernobyl nuclear disaster region has become one of the world’s most unique wildlife sanctuaries, with thriving populations of wolves, deer, beavers, eagles, fish, and other animals.

“Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns.” -William S. Gilbert (William Schwenk Gilbert (1836 - 1911))

“The basis of all animal rights should be the Golden Rule: we should treat them as we would wish them to treat us, were any other species in our dominant position.” -Christine Stevens

“Strip mining prevents forest fires.” -Author Unknown

Ninety-nine percent of all animal species that ever lived on Earth are now extinct - not because of human activity, but because every species has a ‘life cycle.’ Every species appears on the planet, goes through some changes, and then eventually dies out. This is part of the natural ‘cycle of life.’ By some estimates, every species averages about five million years of existence. Everything that begins also ends.

“No one in the world needs a mink coat but a mink.” -Murray Banks

Wrong-Way Alien

A curious creature from Saturn
Came to Earth on some orbital pattern.
     It saw our brown air,
     And cement everywhere,
And screamed, “Why did I take that turn?!”

by Author Unknown

Each year, the United States of America produces enough plastic wrap to shrink-wrap the entire state of Texas. Are you thinking what we’re thinking? Let’s do it!

What should you do if you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) was formed in 1866. It is a long-standing organization, unlike the here-today-and-gone-tomorrow groups of obnoxious hip young attention seekers who hold noisy protest demonstrations in front of shopping malls and on street corners. Additionally, the ASPCA has fantastic pet toys so that you and your furry friend can play together. The ASPCA website is www.aspca.org.

Thames in Flames

In England, when crossing the Thames,
It sparkles and shimmers, like James
     It’s even reputed
     To be unpolluted
Though in places it bursts into flames!

by Author Unknown

Animal Rights Activist: Ma’am, do you realize some poor dumb beast suffered horribly so that you could wear that mink coat you have on?
Woman: How dare you talk that way about my husband!

“(Henry Bergh) was a notable defender of animals, and was the founder, in 1866, of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. This was the first humane society in the United States, antedating - a strange commentary - the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, founded by another Fifth Avenue resident, Elbridge T. Gerry, in 1874. Bergh was originally outraged by the treatment of horses on New York’s streets, especially the overworked beasts that pulled the omnibuses and stages.” -Jerry E. Patterson: “Fifth Avenue: The Best Address” (1998)

“With everything we read about spray cans and the ozone layer, it’s enough to scareosol to death.” -Author Unknown

Modern technology
Owes ecology
An apology.
-Alan M. Eddison: as quoted in Rosemary McDougall: “Worse Verse” (1969)

“The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.” -Burton Hillis (pseudonym of William Edward ‘Bill’ Vaughan (1915 - 1977))

“To cherish what remains of the Earth and to foster its renewal is our only legitimate hope of survival.” -Wendell Berry (Wendell Erdman Berry (born 1934))

The worst air polluter in the entire state of Washington is a volcano that goes by the name of Mount Saint Helens.

“A zoo is a facility where animals are imprisoned for the crime of being different from us.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Nobody knows the exact age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better.” -Author Unknown

America the Beautiful

O beautiful for smoggy skies
Insecticided grains
For strip-mined mountains, majesty
Above the asphalt plain.
America, America,
Man sheds his waste on thee
And hides the pines
With billboard signs
From sea to oily sea!

by George Carlin (George Denis Patrick Carlin (1937 - 2008))

“We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals.” -Immanuel Kant (1724 - 1804)

“Each generation takes the Earth as trustees. We ought to bequeath to posterity as many forests and orchards as we have exhausted and consumed.” -J. Sterling Morton

Little Timmy, age five, was looking at a picture book. When he came to a picture of a zebra, his father asked him what animal that was. Timmy thought a moment, and then answered, “It’s a cow that ate bio-engineered corn.”

Pollution: The dirtiest word in the world.

This animal is very bad:
When attacked, it defends itself.
-Theodore P. K.

China produces more than 45 billion pairs of disposable chopsticks every year, using an estimated 25 million trees to do so. Hmmm . . . kinda makes reusable chopsticks seem like a good alternative, perhaps?

“Love thy neighbor, whether thy neighbor is a fuzzy bunny or a chirping chickadee or a grandpa who wears stripes with plaids.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“He that plants trees loves others besides himself.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734)

Judge: Young man, it says here you shot and killed a California Condor. How do you plead? Defendant: Guilty your honor. Judge: Guilty!? Don’t you know how endangered these condors are? There are hardly any left at all. Defendant: Yes sir, I know, but I had to feed my family, we’re so poor. Judge: That’s no excuse. I am sentencing you to thirty days in jail. By the way, what does California Condor taste like? Defendant: It’s real good, kinda like a cross between Bald Eagle and Whooping Crane.

A Robin Redbreast in a Cage
Puts all Heaven in a Rage.
-William Blake (1757 - 1827): ‘Auguries of Innocence’ (1803), lines 5 and 6; type of work: poem

It turns out that everything is actually everything else, just recycled. Matter becomes energy, and energy becomes matter, and so on. Nothing is ever destroyed, it just changes form. The Universe is a giant recycling system.

“Save a tree. Eat a beaver.” -Author Unknown

The Green Thing

In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags were not good for the environment. The woman apologized to him and explained, “We didn’t have the green thing back in my day.” The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment.” He was right - our generation did not have the green thing in its day. Back then, we returned milk bottles and soda bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn’t have the green thing back in our day. We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn’t have the green thing in our day. Back then, we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts - wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that old lady is right; we didn’t have the green thing back in our day. Back then, we had one television, or radio, in the house - not a TV in every room. And, the television had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she’s right; we didn’t have the green thing back then. We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn’t have the green thing back then. Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint. But isn’t it sad that the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the green thing back then? Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from an opinionated young person.

by Author Unknown

Most landfilled trash retains its original weight, volume, and form for 40 years or longer.

“Save the krill. Eat a whale.” -Author Unknown

“Every creature is better alive than dead, men and moose and pine trees, and he who understands it aright will rather preserve its life than destroy it.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“Any fool can destroy trees. They cannot run away; and if they could, they would still be destroyed - chased and hunted down as long as fun or a dollar could be got out of their bark hides, branching horns, or magnificent bole backbones. Few that fell trees plant them; nor would planting avail much towards getting back anything like the noble primeval forests . . . It took more than three thousand years to make some of the trees in these Western woods - trees that are still standing in perfect strength and beauty, waving and singing in the mighty forests of the Sierra. Through all the wonderful, eventful centuries . . . God has cared for these trees, saved them from drought, disease, avalanches, and a thousand straining, leveling tempests and floods; but he cannot save them from fools - only Uncle Sam can do that.” -John Muir (1838 - 1914): “Our National Parks” (1901), chapter 10

“There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth. We are all crew.” -Marshall McLuhan (Herbert Marshall McLuhan (1911 - 1980)) (1965)

“We are not going to be able to operate our Spaceship Earth successfully nor for much longer unless we see it as a whole spaceship and our fate as common. It has to be everybody or nobody.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“The frog does not drink up the pond in which he lives.” -Author Unknown: Indian proverb

“We talk so much about leaving a better planet to our children, that we forget about leaving better children to this planet. Educate your children - say ‘no’ to them every once in a while.” -Author Unknown

“You cannot begin to preserve any species of animal unless you preserve the habitat in which it dwells. Disturb or destroy that habitat and you will exterminate the species as surely as if you had shot it. So conservation means that you have to preserve forest and grassland, river and lake, even the sea itself. This is not only vital for the preservation of animal life generally, but for the future existence of man himself - a point that seems to escape many people.” -Gerald Durrell

“Extinction is Forever.” -Author Unknown: Friends of the Animals

“A true environmentalist isn’t the person who says the river is dirty. A true environmentalist is the one who cleans up the river.” -Author Unknown

Hurt no living thing:
Ladybird, nor butterfly,
Nor moth with dusty wing.
-Christina Rossetti (Christina Georgina Rossetti (1830 - 1894))

We are MFOL! . . . saving the environment by recycling old jokes . . .

0 Comments

Barbers and Hairstylists

9/3/2020

0 Comments

“Barber: A brilliant conversationalist who occasionally cuts and styles hair.” -Author Unknown

Becca: Are you getting a new hairdo for the party?
Bella: No, I’m having a henna-do.
Becca: What’s a henna-do?
Bella: It runs around and goes, “Cluck, cluck, cluck!”

“You’re only as good as your last haircut.” -Fran Lebowitz (Frances Ann ‘Fran’ Lebowitz (born 1950))

Neil: What is the difference between a bad haircut and a good haircut?
Nellie: About three days.

Sudden Awakening

A clergyman told from his text
How Samson was scissored and vexed.
Then a barber arose
From his sweet Sunday doze,
Got rattled, and shouted, “Who’s next?”

by Author Unknown

A fellow rushed into a barbershop. “Cut everything short,” he said. “Hair, whiskers - and conversation.”

“Hair is vitally personal to children. They weep vigorously when it is cut for the first time; no matter how it grows, bushy, straight or curly, they feel they are being shorn of a part of their personality.” -Charlie Chaplin (Charles Spencer ‘Charlie’ Chaplin (1889 - 1977))

Tonsurephobia is a persistent fear of haircuts. ‘Tonsurephobia’ is derived from the Greek words ‘tonsore’ meaning ‘to cut’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’ It is a common fear in young children and to a lesser extent in adults. Some barbers give free lollipops or free combs to children to try to make the experience less scary for them.

Hair dresser (hare dres•er), noun: A magician who creates a hair style you can never duplicate.

I went to the barbershop the other day. The barber looked at my hair and said, “Sir, this is a comb, not a magic wand.”

Marv: Why did the barber win the race?
Merv: He knew a short cut.

“When you own a pair of haircutting scissors, you cut your own hair constantly.” - Emily Weiss

A woman’s conversation about a haircut: Oh! That is so cute! Do you think so? I wasn’t sure when she was gave me the mirror. I mean, you don’t think it’s too fluffy looking? Oh goodness no! No, it’s perfect. I would love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I’m pretty much stuck with this stuff I think. Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck. Oh, that’s funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line. Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms. See how short they are? If I had your shoulders, I could get clothes to fit me so much easier. A man’s conversation about a haircut: Haircut? Yep.

“Brylcreem - a little dab’ll do ya.” -Author Unknown: advertising slogan for Brylcreem hair lotion

A barbershop owner put up a sign in response to the fancy salon down the street. The sign read, “Why pay forty dollars? We give haircuts for eight dollars.” The salon owner responded by putting up a sign that read, “We repair eight-dollar haircuts!”

Helicopter hair - it’s not just for whirlybird pilots anymore . . .

Barbershop

When you visit the barber
     And sit in his chair,
     Don’t squirm
     Like a worm
While he’s cutting your hair.
     Don’t shiver
     And quiver
And bounce up and down.
     Don’t shuffle
     And snuffle
And act like a clown.
     Each wiggle
     Will jiggle
The blades of the shears.
     Clip-clip,
     Clip-clip.
Those scissors can slip
     And snip
     Off a tip
Of one of your tender pink ears!

by Martin Gardner

Barber Shop: A place to go to when things get hairy.

A famous Hollywood actor went to a stylist and asked for a great haircut. The actor would be going to London for a command performance and would be meeting the Queen. The stylist did his best. A few weeks later the actor returned. Back in the stylist chair, he described his trip. The flight over to England was magnificent. In London, he had had three gorgeous days. The command performance had gone splendidly. After the show, he had been granted a private audience with the Queen. The stylist said, “Tell me what happened, tell me!” The actor said, “The Queen leaned over to me and said, ‘Who gave you that horrible haircut?’”

“Hairstylist: A person who is amazing when good, and horrible when bad.” -Author Unknown

Sign seen on a barbershop: During vacation of owner, a competent hairstylist will be here.

And then there was the hippie who finally decided he needed to get a haircut, because he was tired of falling flat on his face every time his hair became tangled up with his toes.

“Even the worst haircut eventually grows out.” -Lisa Kogan

Arnie: What man shaves twenty times a day?
Arnold: A barber.

“You can make a lot of mistakes with hair because it grows back.” -Paul Rudd

“Young man, take a haircut; you look like a chrysanthemum.” -P. G. Wodehouse (Pelham Grenville Wodehouse (1881 - 1975))

A priest walked into a barbershop in Washington, District of Columbia, United States of America. After he got his haircut, he asked how much it would be. The barber said, “No charge. I consider it a service to the Lord.” The next morning, the barber came to work and there were twelve prayer books and a thank you note from the priest in front of the door. Later that day, a police officer came in and got his hair cut. He then asked how much it was. The barber said, “No charge. I consider it a service to the community.” The next morning, he came to work and there were a dozen donuts and a thank you note from the police officer. Then, a Senator came in and got a haircut. When he was done he asked how much it was. The barber said, “No charge. I consider it a service to the country.” The next morning, the barber came to work and there were twelve Senators in front of the door.

Question: Where do sheep go to get sheared?
Answer: The baa-baa shop.

“As you grow older and wiser, the hairs that sprout from your body also grow older and wiser, making them more difficult to cut or trim. They learn to watch for you coming at them with trimmers and scissors, and they deftly move ever-so-slightly, escaping the consequences of those sharply edged cutting tools. If it helps, you can try to pretend that this isn’t so.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Eclipse, verb: What an English Cockney barber does for a living.

Sally: Why did the rabbit go to the barbershop?
Sammy: To get a ‘harecut.’

“I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.” -Mitch Hedberg (Mitchell Lee ‘Mitch’ Hedberg (1968 - 2005))

Phil: Do you think I need a haircut?
Len: Is there ever a time when you don’t need one?

“Don’t ask the barber whether you need a haircut.” -Daniel Greenberg

A ringlet is a type of hairstyle achieved by wrapping a lock of hair around the length of a thin curling iron, and it can also be sported naturally by people with sufficiently tightly curled hair. Ringlets are also known as tube curls. Child actress Shirley Temple was famous for her ringleted hair, which was styled every day by her mother.

The Barber

He cuts our hair
     And shaves our face,
And talks and talks
     With ease and grace.

by Author Unknown

You are in a better place now . . . welcome to MFOL! . . . we have much more humor and inspiration for you on a huge variety of topics on the website, and we add new material regularly, so be sure to visit often.

0 Comments

Humans and Human Natures

8/30/2020

0 Comments

“We are simultaneously weird and wonderful . . . welcome to the human species.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870)): “A Tale of Two Cities” (1859), book I, chapter 3

“No human is perfect until you fall in love with them.” -Author Unknown

Humans are a simple breed,
Yet kindly in their way;
They’ll travel miles at break-neck speed
On a hot and dusty day,
And scramble through the biggest bunch
Of poison ivy plants,
To bring a lovely picnic lunch
To us hungry ants.
-Author Unknown

“Men have learned to travel further and faster, though on errands not conspicuously improved. This, I believe, is called progress.” -Willis Fisher

Quizzical Show

Man puts on a quizzical show,
Going faster each day as we know,
     Like a wheel down a hill,
     We roll faster still;
But nobody knows where we go.

by C. W. Dalton: “Limericks and Rhymes for Critical Times” (1994)

“It is an old and ironic habit of human beings to run faster when we have lost our way.” -Rollo May (Rollo Reece May (1909 - 1994)): “Love and Will” (1969)

“If the human race wishes to have a prolonged and indefinite period of material prosperity they have only got to behave in a peaceful and helpful way toward one another.” -Winston Churchill (Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill (1874 - 1965))

“To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except exercise, get up early, or be respectable.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

“If one person stands in a place long enough, a que or line begins to form. Others will come along and form a line, not necessarily wanting to know why there is a line, but thinking that if they find a line, they must place themselves in it.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983): “The Passionate State of Mind” (1955)

What are humans?

“Man is a two-legged animal without feathers.” -Plato (about 427 B.C.E. - about 347 B.C.E.)

“Man is like a banana - when he leaves the bunch, he gets skinned.” -Author Unknown: proverb

“The question is this: Is man an ape or an angel? I am on the side of the angels.” -Benjamin Disraeli: speech (25 November 1864)

Being all fashioned of the self-same dust,
    Let us be merciful as well as just.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

Why do people pay to go up to the top of tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

“Human nature is the same all over the world; but its operations are so varied by education and habit that one must see it in all its dresses*.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936))
*dresses: human constructs such as culture, tradition, nationality, and so forth

A surprising number of humans cannot do one or more of the following.
- Blow bubbles with bubble gum.
- Snap their fingers.
- Wink (it somehow always turns into a blink).
- Use their turn signals properly.
- Roll their r’s when speaking.
- Remember what day of the week it is.
- Curl their tongues.
- Digest dairy products.
- Whistle.
- Remember the titles or words of any songs.
- Shuffle cards.
- Touch their toes without bending their knees.
- Parallel park.
- Wiggle their ears.
Despite some of them having the inability to do things listed here, most humans somehow manage to lead fairly normal lives: holding jobs, going to school, driving, walking, and even eating food.

“People’s business seemingly requires haste. The average person eats in a hurry and gets dyspepsia. He walks in a hurry and gets apoplexy. He talks in a hurry and begins to stutter. He does business in a hurry and becomes bankrupt. He votes in a hurry and gets corrupt politicians. He marries in a hurry and gets a divorce. He trains his children in a hurry and creates delinquents. He makes his will in a hurry and leaves a legal contest. He dies in a hurry and goes to the devil. And his tribe steadily increases! Moral: Slow down just a little, for haste makes a waste of the good things in life.” -Author Unknown

“To err is human; to forgive divine.” -Alexander Pope

“The last quarter of a century of my life has been pretty constantly and faithfully devoted to the study of the human race - that is to say, the study of myself, for in my individual person I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“You can drop humans anywhere and they’ll thrive - only the rat does as well.” -Jeannette Desor (Jeannette Ann Desor (born 1942))

“Till now man has been up against Nature; from now on he will be up against his own nature.” -Dennis Gabor (Hungarian: Gábor Dénes; born Günszberg Dénes (1900 - 1979))

“After a lifetime of experience, we have finally come to the conclusion that, while people complain about having to wait in lines, they do indeed actually enjoy standing in lines because it gives them a feeling of importance to be part of something and it gives them something to talk about with others in their otherwise uneventful humdrum lives. It sounds more exciting to say, ‘I’ve been waiting in line all day,’” than to say, ‘I’ve been sitting around all day.’” -Author Unknown

“To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.” -Author Unknown

“Man is wolf to man.” [translation to English]
“Homo homini lupus est.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown

“The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.” -Author Unknown

Humans and Human Natures Facts
- An adult male human is called a man.
- A young male human is called a boy.
- An adult female human is called a woman.
- A young female human is called a girl.
- A very young human, either male or female, is called a baby, infant, toddler, or child.
- A human transitioning from childhood to adulthood is called an adolescent, a teenager, a youth, or a young adult.
- A group of humans is called people, a clan, a crowd, a mob, a riot, a family, a community, a band, a congregation, a nation, a tribe . . .
- The sounds made by humans are called crying, screaming, singing, talking, mumbling, humming, singing, yodeling, whistling, laughing . . .
- Humans are omnivores, or animals that eat both plants and animals.

“A group of birds is called a flock. A group of cattle is called a herd. A group of humans is called a traffic jam.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

“The majority, compose them how you will, are a herd, and not a very nice one.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

“Humans are the tool-making animal.” -Author Unknown

“When you feel dog tired at night, it may be because you’ve growled all day long.” -Author Unknown

Understanding a Person

- If a person laughs in an exaggerated manner, even at things that are only mildly amusing, that person is lonely deep inside.
- If a person sleeps a lot, that person is sad.
- If a person speaks fast but seldom, that person holds deep secrets.
- If a person can’t cry, that person is trying to conceal emotional weakness.
- If a person eats in an odd manner, that person is tense.
- If a person cries about little things, that person is innocent and soft-hearted.
- If a person becomes angry over petty or small things, that person needs love.

by Author Unknown

Curiously, humans are the only primates that do not have pigment in the palms of their hands.

“Man - despite his artistic pretensions, his sophistication, and his many accomplishments - owes his existence to a six-inch layer of topsoil and the fact that it rains.” -Author Unknown

Five Things That Are Humanly Impossible
- Drawing the number six while making clockwise circles with your leg.
- Flying unaided by technology.
- Licking your elbows.
- Sneezing with your eyes open.
- Tickling yourself.

“Man is the only creature that refuses to be what he is.” -Albert Camus (1913 - 1960)

“The Sun, the Moon, and the stars would have disappeared long ago . . . had they happened to be within the reach of predatory human hands.” -Havelock Ellis (Henry Havelock ‘Havelock’ Ellis (1859 - 1939)): “The Dance of Life” (1923)

The average person laughs about 15 times a day.

“It is human nature to think wisely and act foolishly.” -Anatole France (pseudonym of Jacques Anatole François Thibault (1844 - 1924))

“Anyone is capable of anything; we have different modalities built into us, which can be initiated by external or internal events or conditions. The wimpy guy is capable of being a passable battlefield general. The awful woman is capable of being a caring mother. The desperately shy person can stand on a stage before an audience of thousands and entertain them. This is 99.999% true of human beings.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

The average person walks the equivalent of twice around the world in a lifetime.

“I had a linguistics professor who said that it’s man’s ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there’s one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren’t afraid of vacuum cleaners.” - Jeff Stilson

“A man will be imprisoned in a room with a door that’s unlocked and opens inwards; as long as it does not occur to him to pull rather than push it.” -Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889 -1951): “Vermischte Bemerkungen” (1977, Peter Winch, translator), page 42

“The average person thinks he isn’t.” -Author Unknown

“Man is the animal that intends to shoot himself out into interplanetary space, after having given up on the problem of an efficient way to get himself five miles to work and back each day.” -Bill Vaughan (William Edward ‘Bill’ Vaughan (1915 - 1977))

Fifty-five percent of people yawn within five minutes of seeing someone else yawn. Reading about yawning makes most people yawn. You are close to yawning right now.

“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bustling with prejudices, and motivated by pride and vanity.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnegey (1888 - 1955)))

“People are inexterminable - like flies and bedbugs. There will always be some that survive in cracks and crevices - that’s us.” -Robert Frost (Robert Lee Frost (1874 - 1963))

“Man is the most intelligent of the animals - and the most silly.” -Diogenes of Sinope (also known as Diogenes the Cynic (about 412 B.C.E. - 323 B.C.E.))

“So great has been the endurance, so incredible the achievement, that as long as the Sun keeps a set course in Heaven, it would be foolish to despair of the human race.” -Ernest L. Woodward (Ernest Llewellyn Woodward (1890 - 1971))

“People are not perfect . . . except when they smile.” -Author Unknown

We are MFOL! . . . learning to be human . . . from bits and fragments of knowledge collected from hither and thither and yon . . .

0 Comments

Kindness and Good Deeds

8/27/2020

0 Comments

“Kindness begins with the understanding that we all struggle.” -Charles F. Glassman (born 1959): “Brain Drain: The Breakthrough That Will Change Your Life” (2009); author website https://www.charlesglassmanmd.com/

“From now on, your kindness will lead you to success.” -Author Unknown

“It is difficult to give away kindness. It keeps coming back to you.” -Cort Flint (Cort Ray Flint, Junior (1915 - 1983))

“The whole worth of a kind deed lies in the love that inspires it.” -Author Unknown: “The Talmud”

□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□
Kind Hearts

Kind hearts are the gardens,
     Kind thoughts are the roots,
Kind words are the flowers,
     Kind deeds are the fruits.

Love is the bright sunshine
     That warms into life,
For only in darkness
     Grow hate and strife.

Take care of your garden,
     And keep it from weeds,
Fill, fill it with flowers,
     Kind words and kind deeds.

by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□
l i v e  ☆  l a u g h  ツ  www.MakeFunOfLife.net  ♥  l o v e ☼  g r o w
□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□▬□
“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” -Teresa of Calcutta (born Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997))

“Kind words are the music of the world.” -Frederick William Faber (1814 - 1863)

“Let us be kinder to one another.” -Aldous Huxley (Aldous Leonard Huxley (1894 - 1963))

“Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.” -Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)

“A gentle word, a kind look, a good natured-smile, can work wonders and accomplish miracles.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

“The best way to keep good acts in memory is to refresh them with new.” -Cato the Elder (Marcus Porcius Cato (233 B.C.E. - 148 B.C.E.))

“Never lose a chance of saying a kind word.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863)

“The first rule of kindness is to be kind to yourself.” -Bryant McGill (born 1969)

“Kindness is more than a thought, it’s an action.” -Author Unknown

How far that little candle throws his beams!
So shines a good deed in a naughty world.
-William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “The Merchant of Venice” (about 1596), Act 5, Scene 1; line spoken by character Portia

“Plant kindness and gather love.” -Author Unknown

“A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain. It can be and is often treasured by the recipient for life.” -George D. Prentice (George Dennison Prentice (1802 - 1870))

“The fastest way to lift your spirits is to lift someone else’s.” -Author Unknown

“Kindness is wisdom.” -Philip James Bailey (1816 - 1902)

“I wonder why it is that we are not all kinder to each other than we are. How much the world needs it! How easily it is done!” -Henry Drummond (1851 - 1897)

“Kindness is the golden chain by which society is bound together.” -Johann von Goethe (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832))

“Caring people help others not because they expect a reward but because it is natural to show kindness.” -Author Unknown

“Kindness makes you the most beautiful person in the world no matter what you look like.” -Author Unknown

Be Kind

Be kind in all
     You say and do
That others may
     Be kind to you.

by Author Unknown

“Remember, there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.” -Scott Adams (Scott Raymond Adams (born 1957))

“One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness - it is so often returned.” -Author Unknown

“Indulge yourself by being generous - help someone out, perform an act of kindness, offer a compliment. The person who will feel most uplifted by you having done so is . . . you.” -Paul Wilson: “The Little Book of Calm” (1996)

“Kind words don’t cost much. Yet they accomplish much.” -Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

“A good deed brightens a dark world.” -Author Unknown

“Whenever you feel that something as simple as a smile or a kind act will go unnoticed, do it anyway. You never know how much it might change someone else’s life.” -Erin Bishop

That day is best wherein we give
A thought to others’ sorrows;
Forgetting self, we learn to live,
And blessings born of kindly deeds
Make golden our to-morrows.
-Rose H. Thorpe (Rose Hartwick Thorpe (born Rose Alnora Hartwick (1850 - 1939)))

“A good deed is never lost: he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.” -Basil (C.E. 330 - C.E. 379): as attributed in Reverend Elon Foster’s “New Cyclopaedia of Prose Illustrations” (1877), ‘Second Series,’ page 395

“Do one good deed for another person every day.” -Author Unknown

“Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the Sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstandings, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

There is in every human heart
     Some not completely barren part,
Where seeds of truth and love might grow,
     And flowers of generous virtue flow;
To plant, to watch, to water there,
     This be our duty, be our care.
-John Bowring (1792 - 1872)

“Anyone who proposes to do good must not expect people to roll stones out of their way, but must accept their lot calmly, even if people roll a few stones upon it.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965): “Out of My Life and Thought” (1949)

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, believing that one day someone might do the same for you.” -Diana, Princess of Wales (born Diana Frances Spencer (1961 - 1997))

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.” -Teresa of Calcutta (Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997))

Do it this very moment!
     Don’t put it off, don’t wait!
There’s no use in doing a kindness
     If you do it a day too late.
-Charles Kingsley (1819 - 1875)

“Honey catches more flies than vinegar.” -Giovanni Torriano (about 1609 - about 1666): “Italian Proverbs” (1666)

“Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?” -J. M. Barrie (James Matthew Barrie (1860 - 1937))

“Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart.” -Henry Clay (1777 - 1852): “The Great Compromise” (1850)

“It’s a greater accomplishment to be kind than to be brilliant.” -Joseph Telushkin (born 1948): “Words That Hurt” (15 April 1996), page 126

“Flowers leave some of their fragrance in the hand that bestows them.” -Author Unknown

“The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention.” -Gaspard Dughet (also known as Gaspard Poussin from his association with Nicolas Poussin, his brother-in-law who taught him to paint; surname also spelled as Doughet (1615 - 1675)): as quoted in Alfred Armand Montapert, compiler and editor: “Distilled Wisdom” (1964), ‘Deeds,’ page 95

Do not take lightly small good deeds,
     Believing they can hardly help.
For drops of water, one by one,
     In time, can fill a giant pot.
-Patrul Rinpoche (1808 - 1887)

“Remember that if the opportunities for great deeds should never come, the opportunities for good deeds are renewed day by day. The thing for us to long for is the goodness, not the glory.” -Frederick William Faber (1814 - 1863)

“Being kind is more important than being right.” -Author Unknown

“To cultivate kindness is a valuable part of the business of life.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“Blessings ever wait on virtuous deeds, and though a late, a sure reward succeeds.” -William Congreve (1670 - 1729)

“Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.” -Henry James (Henry James, Junior (1843 - 1916))

“The greatness of a man can nearly always be measured by his willingness to be kind.” -George W. Young

Have you done your good deed for the day?

“The kindness lavished on dogs, if evenly distributed, would establish peace on Earth.” -William Feather (1889 - 1981): as quoted in Ted Landphair (at VOA News): “Featherisms” (6 October 2008)

“One kind word can change someone’s entire day.” -Author Unknown

“Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“Be kind. Everyone you meet is carrying a heavy burden.” -Ian MacLaren (pseudonym of John Watson (1850 - 1907)): as quoted in Dale Turner: ‘Quiet Wounds: Be Kind, the Pain is Heavy’ published in “The Seattle Times” (21 July 1984), Page A-8, Column 4; newspaper of Seattle, Washington, United States of America

“The kindest word in all the world is the unkind word, unsaid.” -Author Unknown

“I will take time today to stop and give a gift to someone needy, smile at a stranger, or help a small child. I will take the time to do at least one thing that I usually find myself too busy to do, and I will inwardly smile at myself, taking time the time to experience the feelings of my own kindness.” -Ruth Fishel

“There are three rules of dealing with all those who come to us: 1. Kindness, 2. Kindness, 3. Kindness.” -Fulton J. Sheen (1895 - 1979)

“Remember to be gentle with yourself and others. We are all children of chance and none can say why some fields will blossom while others lay brown beneath the August Sun.” -Kent Nerburn (Kent Michael Nerburn (born 1946))

“No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.” -Aesop: “The Lion and the Mouse”

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.” -Seneca the Younger (Lucius Annaeus Seneca (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident.” -Charles Lamb (1775 - 1834): as quoted in “The Athenaeum” (4 January 1834), ‘Table Talk by the late Elia’

“No good act performed in the world ever dies. Science tells us that no atom of matter can ever be destroyed, that no force once started ever ends; it merely passes through a multiplicity of ever-changing phases. Every good deed done to others is a great force that starts an unending pulsation through time and eternity. We may not know it, we may never hear a word of gratitude or recognition, but it will all come back to us in some form as naturally, as perfectly, as inevitably, as echo answers to sound.” -William George Jordan (1864 - 1928)

“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

The good deed you do today
     For a brother or sister in need
Will come back to you some day
     For humanity’s a circle in deed.
- Robert Alan Aurthur (1922 - 1978)

“Small acts of kindness restore hope in times of darkness.” -Jordan Rosenfeld (Jordan E. Rosenfeld), author website: https://jordanrosenfeld.net

“Do one good deed each day . . . and on some days do as many as you possibly can!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“You never know what someone is going through. A few nice words can help a person a lot more than you think.” -Author Unknown

“Seek to do good, and you will find that happiness will run after you.” -James Freeman Clarke (1810 - 1888)

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” -Leo F. Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia (1924 - 1998)): “Born for Love: Reflections on Loving” (1992)

“One good turn deserves another.” -Gaius Petronius Arbiter (C.E. 27 - C.E. 66)

“The good that you do in this world for others will eventually find its way back to you, as echo returns to sender.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

This is MFOL! . . . and we are going out to do our good deed for the day . . .

0 Comments

Hopes and Dreams

8/24/2020

0 Comments

“Everything begins as a dream.” -Author Unknown

“Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.” -Author Unknown

“Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945))

“To accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” -Anatole France (pseudonym of Jacques Anatole François Thibault (1844 - 1924)): as quoted in Sidney Greenberg, editor: “Treasury of the Art of Living” (1964)

“Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Do all you can to make your dreams come true.” -Joel Osteen (born 1963)

“HOPE: Hanging Onto Positive Expectations.” -Author Unknown

“If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.” -Flavia Weedn (Flavia Marie Weedn (1929 - 2015)): “Flavia and the Dream Maker” (1998)

“Hope costs nothing.” -Colette (Sidonie Gabrielle Colette (1873 - 1954))

“The hopeful man sees success where others see failure; sunshine where others see shadows and storm.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Hope has two beautiful daughters, named Anger and Courage; Anger at the way things are, and Courage to change them.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430))

“Dreams come a size too big so you can grow into them.” -Author Unknown

“In all things it is better to hope than to despair.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Hold on to your dreams, for they are, in a sense, the stuff of which reality is made. It is through our dreams that we maintain the possibility of a better, more meaningful life.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

“The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope.” -Barbara Kingsolver (born 1955)

“No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t lose hope. When the Sun goes down, the stars come out.” -Author Unknown

“What steps could you take right now to begin turning your dreams into realities?” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Hope works for one reason: Those who believe something is possible will work toward achieving it and encourage others; those who believe something is not possible will give up, never begin, and disparage those who have hope.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.” -Dale E. Turner (1917 - 2006)

“While there’s life, there’s hope.” -Terence (Publius Terentius Afer (185 B.C.E. - 159 B.C.E.)): “Heuton timoroumenos,” line 981

“Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.” -John Updike (John Hoyer Updike (1932 - 2009))

“Hope doesn’t require a massive chain where heavy links of logic hold it together. A thin wire will do . . . just strong enough to get us through the night until the winds die down.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“Set out each day believing in your dreams. Know without a doubt that you were made for amazing things.” -Josh Hinds (Josh Stephen Hinds (born 1973))

“Hope, like the gleaming taper’s light,
Adorns and cheers our way;
And still, as darker grows the night,
Emits a brighter ray.”
-Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774): “The Captivity” (1764), Act II

“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.” -Christopher Reeve (Christopher D’Olier Reeve (1952 - 2004))

“Hope is necessary in every condition. The miseries of poverty, of sickness, or captivity, would, without this comfort, be insupportable; nor does it appear that the happiest lot of terrestrial existence can set us above the want of this general blessing; or that life, when the gifts of nature and of fortune are accumulated upon it, would not still be wretched, were it not elevated and delighted by the expectation of some new possession, of some enjoyment yet behind, by which the wish shall at last be satisfied, and the heart filled up to its utmost extent.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (1750 - 1752), number 67

“Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall at last unveil.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“When the world says, ‘Give up,’ Hope whispers, ‘Try one more time.’” -Author Unknown

“We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.” -Jesse Owens (1913 - 1980)

“Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.” -Leo J. Suenens (Leo Jozef Suenens (1904 - 1996))

“At the darkest moment comes the light.” -Joseph Campbell (1904 - 1987)

“Dreams are necessary to life.” -Anaïs Nin (born Angela Anaïs Juana Antolina Rosa Edelmira Nin y Culmell (1903 - 1977))

“Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.” -Thornton Wilder (Thornton Niven Wilder (1897 - 1975))

“Dreams are the seedlings of realities.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.” -Thich Nhat Hanh (born 1926)

“It may be that those who do most, dream most.” -Stephen Butler Leacock (1869 - 1944)

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work; you don’t give up.” -Anne ‘Annie’ Lamott (born 1954)

“Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second. Give your dreams all you’ve got and you’ll marvel at the energy that comes out of you.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“Hope is a vigorous principle; it is furnished with light and heat to advise and execute; it sets the head and heart to work, and animates a man to do his utmost. And thus, by perpetually pushing and assurance, it puts a difficulty out of countenance, and makes a seeming impossibility give way.” -Jeremy Collier (1650 - 1726)

“I have had dreams and I have had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.” -Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995)

“The path to a dream is paved with sacrifices and lined with determination. And although it has many stumbling blocks along the way and may go in more than one direction, it is marked with faith. It is traveled by belief in you and others but requires courage, persistence, and hard work. It is conquered with a willingness to face challenges and take chances, to fail and try again and again. Along the way, you may have to confront doubts, setbacks, and unfairness. But when the path comes to an end, you will find that there is no greater joy than making your dream come true.” -Author Unknown

“Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940)

“It is good to dream, but it is better to dream and work. Faith is mighty, but action with faith is mightier. Desiring is helpful, but work and desire are invincible.” -Thomas Robert Gaines

“Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive. If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even where confidence is wounded, trust impaired.” -Erik Erikson (1902 - 1994)

“The only thing that stands in between you and your dreams is the will to try and the belief that it is actually possible.” -Joel Brown

“There is always hope.” -Author Unknown

“Miracles start to happen when you give as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears.” -Richard Wilkins

“A pocket full of hope is worthless if spent in all the wrong places on all the wrong people.” -S. L. Heaton

“Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.” -Author Unknown

“The hopes of men have been justly called waking dreams.” -Basil (C.E. 330 - C.E. 379): letter to Gregory of Nazianzus: as quoted in S. Baring-Gould (Sabine Baring-Gould (1834 - 1924)): “The Lives of the Saints” (1873)

“The capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. It provides human beings with a sense of destination and the energy to get started.” -Norman Cousins (1915 - 1990)

“Of all the people I have ever known, those who have pursued their dreams and failed have lived a much more fulfilling life than those who have put their dreams on a shelf for fear of failure.” -Author Unknown

“Hope is like the Sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“At every crossroad, follow your dream. It is courageous to let your heart lead the way.” -Thomas Leland (1722 - 1785)

“Never stop believing in hope because miracles happen every day.” -Author Unknown

“Dreams don’t work unless you do.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“Hope is as cheap as Despair.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2542

“Dreams can come true if you take the time to think about what you want in life.” -Author Unknown

“Practice hope. As hopefulness becomes a habit, you can achieve a permanently happy spirit.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“When you have a dream, you’ve got to grab it and never let go.” -Carol Burnett (Carol Creighton Burnett (born 1933))

“My hopes are not always realized, but I always hope.” -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18))

“Every moment is another chance to make your dreams come true.” -Author Unknown

“False hope is better than no hope at all.” -Author Unknown

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.” -J. K. Rowling (pseudonym of Joanne ‘Jo’ Rowling (born 1965)): “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” (1997)

“If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.” -Clement of Alexandria (also known as Titus Flavius Clemens (about C.E. 150 - about C.E. 215))

“Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away.” -Tom Clancy (Thomas Leo Clancy, Junior (1947 - 2013))

“Where there is no hope, there can be no endeavor.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (6 April 1751) journal

“All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“The real people of genius were resolute workers, not idle dreamers.” -George Henry Lewes (1817 - 1878)

“For hope is but the dream of those that wake.” -Matthew Prior (1664 - 1721): “Solomon on the Vanity of the World,” book iii, line 102

“All men of action are dreamers.” -James G. Huneker (James Gibbons Huneker (1860 - 1921))

“Trust your hopes, not your fears.” -David Mahoney

“Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.” -Author Unknown

“Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” -Gloria Steinem (born 1934)

“People too weak to follow their own dreams typically tend to find a way to discourage yours.” -Author Unknown

“Hope never abandons you; you abandon it.” -George Weinberg (1929 - 2017)

“Dreams and wishes do not come true by themselves, but without dreams and wishes behind them, actions - and even life itself - can seem undirected and purposeless.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“All our dreams can come true - if we have the courage to pursue them.” -Walt Disney (Walter Elias ‘Walt’ Disney (1901 - 1966)): as quoted in Pat Williams: “How to Be Like Walt: Capturing the Magic Every Day of Your Life” (2004), Chapter 3, ‘Imagination Unlimited,’ page 63

“Always chase your dreams instead of running from your fears.” -Author Unknown

“If it were not for Hopes, the Heart would break.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2689

“Nothing happens unless first a dream.” -Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967)

“Everything that is done in the world is done by the hopeful. No matter your age. No matter your circumstances. No matter your financial wealth. Without hope, nothing is possible. But with hope . . . well . . . watch out.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Your dreams tell you what to do; your reason tells you how to do it.” -Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995)

“Hope is itself a species of happiness, and, perhaps, the chief happiness which this world affords.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832): “Faust,” lines 214 and 215, as translated by John Anster (1835)

“In both children and adults, there can be a hard-to-deny link between a robust sense of hope and either work productivity or academic achievement.” -Jeffrey Kluger

“Great Hopes make great Men.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 1759

“Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.” -Author Unknown

“There is nothing like a dream to create the future.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

This is MFOL! . . . where our fondest Hopes and Dreams are that you will visit us often . . . as you make your way toward all the good that life has in store for you . . .

0 Comments

Self-Concept and Self-Identity

8/19/2020

0 Comments

Who can that be . . .

“I wish I knew who I am.” -Sarah Zettel (born 1966): “Dust Girl” (2012); author website http://www.sarahzettel.com/

“You are what you believe yourself to be.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

“We have all been placed on this Earth to discover our own path, and we will never be happy if we live someone else’s idea of life.” -James Van Praagh (born 1958)

People travel to wonder at the height of mountains,
at the huge waves of the sea,
at the long courses of rivers,
at the vast compass of the ocean,
at the circular motion of the stars;
and they pass by themselves without wondering.
-Augustine of Hippo (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430)

“Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?” -Danielle LaPorte (born 1969)

“I am a person before I am anything else. I never say I am a writer. I never say I am an artist . . . I am a person who does those things.” -Edward Gorey (Edward St. John Gorey (1925 - 2000))

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“You were born an original work of art. Stay original.” -Suzy Kassem (born 1975)

“Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.” -Harvey Fierstein (Harvey Forbes Fierstein (born 1952))

“Know thyself? If I knew myself I would run away.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“You have to be brave to be yourself.” -Author Unknown

“One of the most courageous things you can do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in, and where you want to go.” -Sheila Murray Bethel (born 1965)

“Looking for who I am is who I am.” -Tom Spanbauer (born 1946): “The Man Who Fell in Love with the Moon” (1991)

“The hardest battle you’re ever going to fight is the battle to be just you.” -Leo Buscaglia (1924 - 1998)

“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.” -Dr. Seuss (pseudonym of Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 - 1991))

“Are you what others say and think you are? Or are you who you are regardless of what others say and think?” -Richelle E. Goodrich (Richelle Elaine Goodrich (born 1968)): “Smile Anyway: Quotes, Verse, and Grumblings for Every Day of the Year” (23 June 2015)

“You are the stories and incidents that you never tell to anyone. You are the thoughts that you get while standing under the shower. You are those memories that won’t let you sleep at night peacefully. You are those words that you will never say while speaking with someone. You are those scars that you always hide from everyone. You are those little secrets that you will never let the world know. You are everything that you hide under the identity that you call the real you.” -Akshay Vasu

“How shall we learn to know ourselves? By reflections? Never; but only through action. Strive to do thy duty; then shalt thou know what is in thee.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“We don’t know who we are until we see what we can do.” -Martha Grimes (born 1931)

“We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us.” -Virginia Satir (Virginia Pagenkopf Satir (1916 - 1988))

“We know what we are, but not what we may be.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

“What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates his fate.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“Act as if you are the person you want to be.” -Bernie Siegel

“Don’t let other people tell you who you are.” -Diane Sawyer (Lila Diane Sawyer (born 1945))

“Regard not so much what the World thinks of thee, as what thou thinkest of thyself.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734)

“Look to see what you are doing today. Is this how you choose to define yourself?” -Neale Donald Walsch (born 1943)

“You can’t let other people tell you who you are. You have to decide that for yourself.” -Author Unknown

“Resolve to be thyself; and know that he who finds himself, loses his misery.” -Matthew Arnold (1822 - 1888)

“Never sacrifice who you are just because someone else has a problem with it.” -Author Unknown

“It is the individual who knows how little he knows about himself who stands a reasonable chance of finding out something about himself.” -S. I. Hayakawa (Samuel Ichiye Hayakawa (1906 - 1992))

“Self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“The opinion which other people have of you is their problem, not yours.” -Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1926 - 2004)

“If we have no identity apart from our jobs, we are truly vulnerable.” -Dan Miller: “The Rudder of the Day: Stories & Wisdom to Kick Start Your Workday” (2003); author website https://www.48days.com/

“Focus on what you are, not on what you are not.” -Author Unknown

“We are all apt to believe what the world believes about us.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans (1819 - 1880))

“Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.” -Doris Mortman (born 1944)

“How hurtful it can be to deny one’s true self and live a life of lies just to appease others.” -June Ahern

“Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“What people think about you is not important. What you think about yourself means everything.” -Author Unknown

“Self-respect is the noblest garment with which a man can clothe himself, the most elevating feeling with which the mind can be inspired.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“What others think of us would be of little moment did it not, when known, so deeply tinge what we think of ourselves.” -Paul Valéry (Ambroise Paul Toussaint Jules ‘Paul’ Valéry (1871 - 1945))

“What we truly and earnestly aspire to be, that in some sense we are. The mere aspiration, by changing the frame of the mind, for the moment realizes itself.” -Anna Jameson (Anna Brownell Jameson (1794 - 1860))

“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.” -Shannon L. Alder at https://www.shannonalder.com/

“Be faithful to that which exists within yourself.” -André Gide (André Paul Guillaume Gide (1869 - 1951))

“Don’t accept that others know you better than yourself.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Finding oneself was a misnomer; a self is not found but made.” -Jacques Barzun (Jacques Martin Barzun (1907 - 2012)): “From Dawn to Decadence: 500 Years of Western Cultural Life” (2000)

“Defining myself, as opposed to being defined by others, is one of the most difficult challenges I face.” -Carol Mosely-Braun (Carol Elizabeth Moseley Braun (born 1947))

“By all resources realize yourself . . . Fetters fall off of themselves when the knowledge of self is gained.” -A. L. Linall, Junior

“When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.” -Ralph Ellison (Ralph Waldo Ellison (1913 - 1994)): “Invisible Man” (14 April 1952), chapter 11

“I am a free human being with an independent will.” -Charlotte Brontë (1816 - 1855): “Jane Eyre”

“Be not another, if you can be yourself.” -Paracelsus (born Phillip von Hohenheim, later adopting the name Philippus Theophrastus Aureolus Bombastus von Hohenheim (1493 - 1541))

“Knowing who you are and who you can become impacts how you view your options for the future.” -Emily Grabatin: “Dare to Decide: Discovering Peace, Clarity and Courage at Life’s Crossroads” (17 July 2020); author website https://www.emilygrabatin.ca/

“You shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.” -Author Unknown

“So who do I want to be tomorrow?” -Paula Hawkins (born 1972): “The Girl on the Train” (6 January 2015)

“So far as other people are concerned, you are your behavior. So far as you are concerned, you are your feelings.” -Peter Honey (born 1937) at https://peterhoney.org/

“Someone else’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945))

“Never allow yourself to be defined by someone else’s opinion of you.” -Author Unknown

“Life isn’t always about finding yourself. More often than not, it’s about discovering who God created you to be.” -David A. R. White (David Andrew Roy White (born 1970)): “Between Heaven and Hollywood: Chasing Your God-Given Dream” (25 October 2016)

“The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.” -Neil Gaiman (Neil Richard MacKinnon Gaiman (born 1960 as Neil Richard Gaiman)): keynote address (17 May 2012) at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States of America

“Maybe you are what you can’t not be.” -John Green (John Michael Green (born 1977)): “Turtles All the Way Down” (10 October 2017)

“We would be wise to remember that the world’s definition of us will always diminish God’s design within us.” -Craig D. Lounsbrough (born 1959) at https://www.craiglpc.com/

“Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, ‘This is the real me,’ and when you have found that attitude, follow it.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“When you stop living your life based on what others think of you, real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self-acceptance opened.” -Shannon L. Alder at https://www.shannonalder.com/

“Be yourself. Who else is better qualified?” -Frank J. Giblin, II: as quoted in “Reader’s Digest”

This is MFOL! . . . where you decide who you are . . . and then if you like, keep everyone else guessing . . .

0 Comments

<<Previous

To go to the Christmas Page
click on the
sparkling tree.

Further fantastically fascinating frivolity and factuality await you on the Make Fun Of Life! Website if you will courageously click on any of the flashing images or colorful words below.

Activities

Adventure

Alphabet

Americana

Animals

Arbor Day

Beaumont’s Bits

Biography

Birthdays

Child Abuse

Childhood

Christian Faith

Christian Quotations

Christmas

Colors

Correspondence

Disability

Easter

Elocution

English Grammar

Essays

Everyday Inspiration

Fairy Tales

Fake News

Family

Foods

Friendship

Generations

Geography

Groundhog Day

Halloween

History

Holidays

Horror

In Memory

Inspiration

Learning

Library

Life

Limericks

Marriage

Moral Conduct

Nature

New Year’s Day

Nonsense

Numbers

Nursery Rhymes

Parenting

Personal Development

Physical Fitness

Picture Jokes

Picture Quotations

Plants

Quotation Collections

Quotationary

Seasons

Serious

Serious Poems

Serious Topics

Silly

Society

Stories with Morals

Thanksgiving Day

Time

Valentine’s Day

Weather

Website Index

Website Information

Work

World

Do you need a joke, quotation, paragraph, or poem about a particular subject or topic? Go to the search box found at the top right side of this page and type it in. We have a surprising variety of material and we add new stuff regularly, so you might find what you are seeking.

Although adults are just serious-minded children, there is a chance for them to be slightly less so, every time they visit Make Fun Of Life!

Make Fun Of Life! can be right there with you, at home or wherever you go, on a laptop, cell phone, tablet, or any other internet connected device. Bookmark us and visit whenever you can. We regularly add fascinating new articles just for you!

When you reach the bottom of this page on Make Fun Of Life! click on <<Previous or Forward>> to see the next page.

You are now on the Make Fun Of Life! Website . . . where humor, inspiration, and learning are back together again - as they were always meant to be.

Welcome to the Make Fun Of Life! Website. We are here to bring a little happiness to the world. Would you like to be among the first people to see new articles when they appear on the website? Click on the social media buttons on the left side of your screen and then follow us. We wish you the very best imaginable day, and thank you for visiting!

Offering you squeaky clean alternatives to what you will find in other media, this is Make Fun Of Life!

Yes, you are always welcome to write down what you read on MFOL! and share it with other people.