Make Fun Of Life!

This Creature Is Seeing Something

1/12/2022

Picture of a creature with brown and white fur and large dark brown eyes and prominent nostrils looking out between the horizontal wooden boards of a fence.

This mysterious furry creature is seeing what is on www.MakeFunOfLife.net and is keenly interested . . . perhaps you will be too . . .

If you came here looking for fun, you are in the right place. Just travel down this page, skipping the ridiculous articles, until you come to the ones that appeal to you. When you have a moment, be sure to visit some of the more than 70 other pages on the website, such as the Holidays Pages and the Silly Pages, which can be explored by clicking or tapping on the drop-down menu near the top of this page or further down this page in the right-hand column as blinking images.

This is MFOL! . . . where mysterious creatures are known to appear . . .

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Umbrellas and Parasols

1/12/2022

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Picture of a boy and a girl standing under an umbrella on a rainy Autumn day.

Dale: What goes up when the rain comes down?
Gail: An umbrella!

Little Umbrella

I have a little umbrella.
It helps me stay dry.
And on a very windy day,
It even helps me fly!
Open it. Close it.
Oh what fun it can be.
Jumping over puddles,
My little umbrella and me!

by Author Unknown

Shane: If six children and two dogs were under an umbrella, how come none of them got wet?
Shannon: Because it wasn’t raining.

“A rainy day is the only chance an umbrella gets to shine.” -Author Unknown

The word ‘umbrella’ comes from the Latin word ‘umbros’ meaning ‘shade’ or ‘shadow.’

Judy: Why do people carry umbrellas?
Jude: Because umbrellas can’t walk by themselves.

Umbrellas were originally used to shade people from the Sun, like modern parasols, and not to protect people from the rain as they are today. In ancient Greece, umbrellas became a fashion accessory used by men though not women, probably because men tended to be out under the Sun and in the rain more.

Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)) once told a story of trying to get rid of a wreck of an old umbrella. First he threw it in a trash can, but someone recognized it as his, and returned it. Then he dropped it down a deep well, but someone repairing the well saw the umbrella, and returned it. He tried several other methods, but always the umbrella came back. “Finally,” said Mr. Twain, “I lent it to a friend, and I never saw it again.”

Picture of colorful umbrellas suspended in a blue sky with fluffy white clouds.

It’s raining umbrellas!

Bella Had a New Umbrella

Bella had a new umbrella
     Didn’t want to lose it,
So when she walked out in the rain
     She didn’t ever use it.
Her nose went sniff,
     Her shoes went squish,
Her socks grew soggy,
     Her glasses got foggy,
Her pockets filled with water,
     And a little green froggy.
All she could speak
     Was a weak ‘kachoo!’
But Bella’s umbrella
     Stayed nice and new.

by Eve Merriam

“I used the money I had been saving for a rainy day to buy an umbrella.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Keith: Why would anyone need a chicken-proof umbrella?
Kevin: To use in case of fowl weather.

The average life span of cheap umbrellas is one-and-a-half years.

Marla: So what kind of umbrellas do people carry on rainy days?
Marlo: Wet ones.

Why are many umbrellas black? When umbrellas first came into popular use in the 18th century, they were made of oil-soaked cotton cloth stretched over whalebone. Oil was applied to the cotton fabric to make it waterproof. It also gave the cloth a black coloration. While this type of umbrella was waterproof, it was not very durable. Soon, better umbrellas were made, and since the color black was associated with effective waterproofing, most of the newer models were dyed black. However, for safety purposes, brightly colored umbrellas, being more visible to motorists, may possibly decrease the likelihood of collisions with pedestrians. Clear umbrellas are also a good choice as they give their holders the ability to see through them.

“You will need three umbrellas: one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.” -James L. Blankenship

Picture of a woman standing outside and holding a parasol, with green leafy trees and green grass in the background.

“Spin the parasol three times and repeat after me: I shield in the name of fashion. I accessorize for one and all. Pursuit of truth is my passion. This I vow by the great parasol.” -Gail Carriger

The word ‘parasol’ is a combination of ’para’ from the Latin word 'parare' meaning ‘to shield from’ and ’sol’ meaning ‘sun.’

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Spin and Twirl

Spin, spin the parasol
     Spin it, and it flies away -
When it stops,
     It’s somehow on the ground.

Twirl, twirl the umbrella,
     Water droplets fly everywhere.
Twirl it, twirl it,
     And then twirl it once more!

Parasol or umbrella,
     Twirl or spin,
Collapse them and stow them away,
     To twirl or spin on yet another day.

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966): “More Boring Poetry”

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National Umbrella Day is observed on 10 February of each year. If it doesn’t rain on that day, it’ll be a big disappointment to many of us!

“Have you noticed that some people are not good at saving money, but somehow always manage to save an umbrella for a rainy day?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Picture of a cloud-like parasol made by attaching loose cotton over an old metal umbrella frame from which the cloth canopy is missing.

Your own personal portable cloud-on-a-stick parasol is a great accessory for carrying around on sunny days, and will help keep the Sun off your head. This one is made from fluffy cotton and a broken umbrella.

A successful steel-ribbed umbrella was invented by Samuel Fox in 1852, although some earlier steel-ribbed umbrellas may have existed. The first working folding umbrella was introduced by Bradford Philips in 1969.

Norman: Did you hear about the responsible umbrella manufacturer?
Norma: Yes, they say he is saving his money for a sunny day.

Umbrellas are among the things of which you should always have at least two, in case you lose an umbrella or need to loan one to a friend. The two best times to buy an umbrella are before you need one and when it is not raining. When it starts raining, umbrellas sell quickly, even at inflated prices, and you might not be able to find one to buy.

“I walked around for a few hours. Around one-thirty it started raining lightly. Almost immediately the umbrella sellers turned up on the street corners. You’d have thought they had existed previously in spore form, springing miraculously to life when a drop of water touched them.” -Lawrence Block (born 1938): “Out on the Cutting Edge” (1989)

Marshall: What is big and gray and protects people from the rain?
Marsha: An umbrellaphant!

Umbrellas and Parasols Facts
- Umbrellas help keep the rain off people.
- Umbrellas are made of waterproof material.
- Parasols help keep the sunlight off people.
- Parasols are often not made of waterproof material.

“One thing we have never been able to save for a rainy day is an umbrella.” -Herbert V. Prochnow (Herbert Victor Prochnow, Senior (1897 - 1998))

The rain it raineth on the just
And also on the unjust fella;
But chiefly on the just, because
The unjust steals the just’s umbrella.
-Charles Bowen (Charles Synge Christopher Bowen, also known as Baron Bowen (1835 - 1894)): as published in Walter Sichel: “Sands of Time” (1923)

Picture of two happy smiling boys walking in the rain, and using a large green banana plant leaf as an umbrella.

A friend is someone who has an umbrella when it is raining . . .

“All men are equal - all men, that is to say, who possess umbrellas.” -E. M. Forster (Edward Morgan Forster): “Howards End” (1910)

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The Gingham Umbrella

Alphonso, Alphonso, Alphonso and Arabella
     They happened to meet
A man in the street,
     Who carried a gingham umbrella.

Alphonso possessed neither manners nor grace,
     He made at this person a hideous face;
But how different the conduct of sweet Arabella,
     Who praised with politeness the gingham umbrella.

The man was a nobleman, deeply disguised;
     The compliment courteous he pointedly prized;
‘Sweet creature,’ he said, ‘come away from this feller,
     And take both my heart and my gingham umbrella!’

The very next morning they met in the church,
     And foolish Alphonso was left in the lurch;
And they said, ‘In the future you’ll know how to tell a
     Great lord from a loon, by his gingham umbrella!’

by Laura Richards (Laura Elizabeth Richards (1850 - 1943))

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“It is the habitual carriage of the umbrella that is the stamp of Respectability. The umbrella has become the acknowledged index of social position . . . Crusoe was rather a moralist than a pietist, and his leaf-umbrella is as fine an example of the civilized mind striving to express itself under adverse circumstances as we have ever met with.” -Robert L. Stevenson (Robert Louis Balfour Stevenson (1850 - 1894)) and J. W. Ferrier: “Philosophy of Umbrellas” (1871)

Marissa: What goes up a chimney down, but can’t go down a chimney up?
Clarissa: An umbrella!

Umbrella Etiquette
- Let others stand under your umbrella with you, including people and animals, if your umbrella is large enough, and if the others are not too peculiar.
- Shake the water off your umbrella before entering a building or vehicle, and then either place it inside a plastic bag, in an umbrella stand, or in another place where the water that runs off it will not create a dangerous slippery-slidey floor.

Otis: Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella?
Doris: Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

“Going around under an umbrella interferes with one’s looking up at the sky.” -Jerzy Kosinski

Picture of a boy standing under an umbrella in the pouring rain.

We know you can’t wait for it to rain, so that you can try out your new umbrella, with that great new umbrella smell! More fun follows . . . on MFOL!

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Pessimism and Optimism

1/7/2022

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Picture of four people with solemn expressions standing and holding signs reading, ‘British League of Pessimists’ and ‘National No Smiling Day’ and ‘No! No! No!’ and ‘Join Our Silent Protest.’

The British League of Pessimists is against anything and everything . . .

“Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.” -Mary Lou Retton (Mary Lou ‘Loo’ Retton (born 1968))

“One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.” -Lucille Ball (Lucille Désirée Ball (1911 - 1989))

“Always think positive. For example, I fell down the stairs today and thought, ‘Wow! I sure fell down those stairs fast!’” -Author Unknown

“An optimist is one who makes the best of it when he gets the worst of it.” -Laurence J. Peter (Laurence Johnston Peter (1919 - 1990))

“No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.” -Helen Keller (Helen Adams Keller (1880 - 1968)): “My Key of Life, Optimism: An Essay” (1904)

“No sense in being pessimistic - it probably wouldn’t work anyway.” -Author Unknown

“An optimist is a person who undertakes a seemingly impossible task in a spirit of immeasurable enthusiasm, unbounded determination, unbelievable excitement, indestructible confidence, uncompromising thoroughness, and indefatigable persistence . . . with understandable success.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“Being an optimist after you’ve got everything you want doesn’t count.” -Kin Hubbard (Frank McKinney ‘Kin’ Hubbard (1868 - 1930))

“No one really knows enough to be a pessimist.” -Norman Cousins (1915 - 1990)

“Optimists don’t internalize pain or criticism. They take it for what it is worth and carry on.” -Robert M. Sherfield at http://www.RobertSherfield.com/

“Distance yourself from negativity or it will deplete your well of optimism.” -Jeff Sheehan

“An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out?” -René Descartes (1596 - 1650)

Optimist and Pessimist

Twixt optimist and pessimist,
     The difference is droll*:
The optimist sees the doughnut,
     The pessimist sees the hole.

by McLandburgh Wilson (Florence McLandburgh (1850 - 1934)): poem (1915)
*droll: amusing in an odd way

“You will find yourself refreshed by the presence of cheerful people. Why not make earnest effort to confer that pleasure on others? Half the battle is gained if you never allow yourself to say anything gloomy.” -Lydia M. Child (Lydia Maria Child (born Lydia Maria Francis (1802 - 1880)))

“A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities; an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.” -Reginald B. Mansell (Reginald Baynes Mansell (1897 - 1945))

“An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.” -Walter Winchell (1897 - 1972)

“Pessimism is contagious. One of the ways people catch it is from exposure to news shows on television, radio, and online.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“It can be done.” -Author Unknown

“If the pessimists aren’t happy now, they never will be!” -Author Unknown

“Real optimism has reason to complain but prefers to smile.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“Pessimist: A person who says ‘o’ is the last letter of zero, instead of the first letter of opportunity.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Optimism is essential to achievement and is also the foundation of courage and true progress.” -Nicholas Murray Butler (1862 - 1947)

“A pessimist looks at his glass and says it is half empty; an optimist looks at it and says it is half full.” -Josiah Stamp (1880 - 1941): as attributed in the “New York Times” (13 November 1935) newspaper

“I find, when you’re an optimist, life has a funny way of looking after you.” -Simon Sinek (Simon Oliver Sinek (born 1973))

“Avoid destructive thinking. Improper negative thoughts sink people. A ship can sail around the world many, many times, but just let enough water get into the ship and it will sink. Just so with the human mind: Let enough negative thoughts or improper thoughts get into the human mind and the person sinks just like a ship.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“The optimist regards the future as uncertain.” -Eugene Paul Wigner (also known as E. P. Wigner (born Wigner Jenő Pál (1902 - 1995)))

“Optimism. It’s not just a mind-set, it is behavior.” -Larry Elder (Laurence Allen ‘Larry’ Elder (born 1952)) at www.LarryElder.com

“Criticism and pessimism destroy families, undermine institutions of all kinds, defeat nearly everyone, and spread a shroud of gloom over entire nations.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

Optimist: The glass is half-full.
Pessimist: The glass is half-empty.
Efficiency Expert: The glass is twice the required size.

“Real optimism knows the difficulties but believes they can be overcome.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“I’ve never seen a monument erected to a pessimist.” -Paul Harvey (1918 - 2009)

“For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else.” -Winston Churchill (Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill (1874 - 1965)): speech (9 November 1954) at the Lord Mayor’s banquet in London, England

“How happy are the pessimists! What joy is theirs when they have proved there is no joy.” -Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach (1830 - 1916): as quoted in Maturin M. Ballou: “Edge-Tools of Speech” (1886), page 251

“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

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The Pessimist

Nothing to do but work,
     Nothing to eat but food,
Nothing to wear but clothes
     To keep one from going nude.

Nothing to breathe but air
     Quick as a flash it is gone;
Nowhere to fall but off,
     Nowhere to stand but on.

Nothing to comb but hair,
     Nowhere to sleep but in bed,
Nothing to weep but tears,
     Nothing to bury but dead.

Nothing to sing but songs,
     Ah, well, alas! alack!
Nowhere to go but out,
     Nowhere to come but back.

Nothing to see but sights,
     Nothing to quench but thirst,
Nothing to have but what we’ve got;
     Thus thro’ life we are cursed.

Nothing to strike but a gait;
     Everything moves that goes.
Nothing at all but common sense
     Can ever withstand these woes.

by Benjamin Franklin King (1857 - 1894)

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“Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist.” -Robert G. Allen (Robert Grant Allen (born 1948))

“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.” -G. B. Stern (Gladys Bronwyn Stern (born Gladys Bertha Stern (1890 - 1973))): as quoted in Karen Weekes: “Women Know Everything!: 3,241 Quips, Quotes, and Brilliant Remarks” (1 March 2007), page 41

“Stick with the optimists. It’s going to be tough enough even if they’re right.” -James Reston (James Barrett ‘Scotty’ Reston (1909 - 1995))

“Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“As I say yes to life, life says yes to me!” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017)) at www.louisehay.com

“The best things in life are free . . . and so are the worst things.” -Author Unknown

“The right train of thought can take you to a better station in life.” -Author Unknown

“So a pessimist walked into a restaurant and said, ‘You’re closed, aren’t you?’” -Author Unknown

“An optimist is the human personification of spring.” -Susan J. Bissonette (Susan Jean Bissonette (born 1938)): as quoted in “Readers Digest” (1979)

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The Hymn of the Pessimist

My grandpa notes the world’s worn cogs,
And says we’re going to the dogs.

His grandpa in his house of logs,
Said things were going to the dogs.

His grandpa in the Flemish bogs,
Said things were going to the dogs.

His grandpa in his hairy togs,
Said things were going to the dogs.

But this is what I wish to state,
The dogs have had an awful wait.

by Author Unknown

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“It’s not that optimism solves all of life’s problems; it is just that it can sometimes make the difference between coping and collapsing.” -Lucy MacDonald

“A pessimist is someone who complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.” -Michael Levine

“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in; a pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” -Bill Vaughan (William Edward ‘Bill’ Vaughan also known by pseudonym Burton Hillis (1915 - 1977)): “Senator Soaper Opines” (31 December 1963) newspaper column in the “Evening World-Herald,” page 16, column 2

“Always look on the bright side of life. Otherwise it’ll be too dark to read.” -Author Unknown

“Optimism is the one quality more associated with success and happiness than any other.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“In the long run, the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.” -Daniel L. Reardon

“Be courageous. Change and improve each day. Do your best and don’t look back. See learning and change as opportunities. Try new things. Consider several options. Meet new people. Ask lots of questions. Keep track of your mental and physical health. Be optimistic.” -Donald Martin

“Pessimist: A person who views the world through woes-colored glasses.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: I would like to be an optimist, but I doubt that it would work out.

“One day someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. And he said, ‘Is it half full or half empty?’ So I drank the water. No more problem.” -Alexander Jodorowsky

“What people forget is a journey to nowhere starts with a single step, too.” -Chuck Palahniuk: “Survivor” (17 February 1999)

“The habit of looking on the best side of every event is worth more than a thousand pounds a year.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.” -James Branch Cabell (1879 - 1958): “The Silver Stallion” (1926), Chapter 6

“People who wonder whether the glass is half full or half empty miss the point. The glass is refillable.” -Author Unknown

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement; nothing can be done without hope.” -Helen Keller (Helen Adams Keller (1880 - 1968)): “Optimism” (1903)

“A stumbling-block to the pessimist is a stepping-stone to the optimist.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor ‘Eleanor’ Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“Optimist: Someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s a cha-cha.” -Robert Brault (born 1938) at RBrault.blogspot.com

“I’m so optimistic I’d go after Moby Dick in a row boat and take the tartar sauce with me.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Optimism refuses to believe that the road ends without options.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

Marcella: How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?
Marcia: None; a new one will not work any better than the burned-out one did.

“Optimism will grow like a flower if the soil be properly prepared.” -Arthur Lynch

“Pessimism wilts everything around it.” -Michael Levine

“Optimists find joy in small things. They enjoy sunsets, a good conversation with a close friend; and they enjoy life in general. They are more concerned with having many small joys rather than having one huge joy.” -Robert M. Sherfield at http://www.RobertSherfield.com/

“Optimism is the sunshine of the soul.” -Author Unknown

“Optimism inspires, energizes, and brings out our best. It points the mind toward possibilities and helps us think creatively past problems.” -Price Pritchett

“An optimistic point of view will always look much better on you!” -Susan Librener

This is MFOL! . . . where life is good - who are we kidding - life is great!

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Television

12/30/2021

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Picture of three people sitting in a chair outside in a field, watching a television that is on top of a bale of hay.

“It’s a good thing television shows are so awful; otherwise, some of us would spend our entire lives watching television.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“The television and I have the world’s best relationship, because we see each other every day and I am pretty sure it loves me as much as I love it.” -Author Unknown

“The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you’re doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.” -Jerry Seinfeld (Jerome Allen ‘Jerry’ Seinfeld (born 1954))

“Television has changed the American child from an irresistible force to an immovable object.” -Laurence J. Peter (Laurence Johnston Peter (1919 - 1990))

“My father hated radio and couldn’t wait for television to be invented so he could hate that, too.” -Peter De Vries (1910 - 1993)

“Have you ever noticed that TV families never watch TV?” -Henny Youngman (Henry ‘Henny’ Youngman (1906 - 1998))

“Time has convinced me of one thing: television is for appearing on, not for looking at.” -Noël Coward (Noël Pierce Coward (1899 - 1973))

“Television is about watching a life instead of having one.” -Beth Mazur

In 1965, BBC TV featured an interview with a professor who had just invented a device called ‘smellovision.’ This miraculous technology allowed viewers to experience directly in their own home aromas produced in the television studio. The professor offered a demonstration by cutting some onions and brewing coffee. A number of viewers called in to confirm that they distinctly experienced these scents as if they were there in the studio with him. Since no aromas were actually being transmitted, whatever these viewers thought they smelled coming out of their TV sets must be chalked up to the power of suggestion.

“People only know what they see on TV.” -Carmello Anthony

“Television is the single greatest threat to communications and connections within a family. You may as well be fifty miles away from the person sitting next to you if you’re both watching television.” -Author Unknown

“The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself, ‘This changes everything.’” -Author Unknown

“Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.” -Richard M. Nixon (Richard Milhous Nixon (1913 - 1994))

“I may have made a lot of bad decisions in life, but at least I don’t watch daytime television.” -Andy Borowitz

“Whoever controls the media - the images - controls the culture.” -Allen Ginsberg (Irwin Allen Ginsberg (1926 - 1997))

“As long as there’s a jingle in your head, TV isn’t free.” -Jason Love

“The one function that TV news performs very well is that, when there is no news, we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were.” -David Brinkley (1920 - 2003)

“When I got my first television set, I stopped caring so much about close relationships.” -Andy Warhol

“Imagine what it would be like if TV were actually good. It would be the end of everything we know.” -Marvin Minsky

“If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners.” -Johnny Carson (John William ‘Johnny’ Carson (1925 - 2005))

“After 20 years of searching, you are forced to admit that there just isn’t anything good on TV.” -Author Unknown: “The Onion,” ‘Horoscope’

Emma: What was the television doing at the beach?
Lee: Channel surfing.

“Television? The word is half Latin and half Greek. No good can come of it.” -C. P. Scott (Charles Prestwich Scott (1846 - 1932))

The English word television is derived from the Greek word ‘tele’ meaning ‘far’ or ‘at a distance’ and the Latin word ‘visio’ meaning ‘sight.’

“There was a show on television the other day that was so old . . . the cowboys were riding dinosaurs.” -Author Unknown

‘Laugh tracks’ are also known as ‘canned laughter.’ Many of the laugh tracks now used in television programs, especially sitcoms and talk shows, were recorded in the 1950’s . . . when people still knew how to laugh - and had something to laugh about.

“We can put television in its proper light by supposing that Gutenberg’s great invention had been directed at printing only comic books.” -Robert M. Hutchins

Young Lady from Trent

There was a young lady from Trent
Whose TV antenna got bent -
The neighbors went crazy;
Their screens all got hazy,
For instead of receiving, she sent!

by John Etheridge

“If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.” -Lily Tomlin (born 1939)

“I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.” -Dwight D. Eisenhower (Dwight David ‘Ike’ Eisenhower (1890 - 1968))

“Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.” -Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)

“The average American family has no time for television; people must sit and keep their eyes glued on a screen.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in the “New York Times” (1939) newspaper

“TV - a clever contraction derived from the words ‘Terrible Vaudeville’ . . . we call it a medium because nothing’s well done.” -Goodman Ace (Goodman Aiskowitz (1899 - 1982)): letter to Groucho Marx

Picture of a television with the screen reading, ‘Television must never be your only window to the world. Read a book. Go play outside. Find a hobby. Talk to somebody. Go on a daily walk. Be funny. Work on improving yourself. Plant a tree. Please know that television is not a substitute for real life. Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’

“I don’t watch television. I know better than that.” -Tom Baker

“My husband wanted one of those new big-screen TV’s for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.” -Wendy Liebman (born 1961)

“The story you have just heard is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.” -Author Unknown: “Dragnet” (1949 - 1957)

“Don’t you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There’s one marked, ‘Brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.” -Gallagher (born 1946 as Leo Anthony Gallagher)

What kinds of things on television and in movies make you laugh?

“The human race is faced with a cruel choice: get a job or watch daytime television.” -Author Unknown

“You open it with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension. A dimension of sound. A dimension of sight. A dimension of mind. You are moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.” -Rod Serling (Rodman Edward Serling (1924 - 1975)): one of the intros to the “Twilight Zone” show

“Television contracts the imagination and radio expands it.” -Terry Wogan (born 1938): as quoted in the “Observer” (December 1984) of London

World Television Day is observed on 21 November of each year.

“I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can’t stop eating peanuts.” -Orson Welles (1915 - 1985)

“Television is the triumph of machine over people.” -Fred Allen (born John Florence Sullivan (1894 - 1956))

“I never thought television would or could be a long-term commitment.” -Jimmy Smits

An estimated one in every four Americans has appeared on television, though most are not shown in close-up facial images. You might be walking down the street, standing in a line, sitting down at a sports or other entertainment event, eating lunch at a sidewalk cafe, or spending a leisurely day at a park. You won’t necessarily know that a camera is trained on you or scanning the area you are in, and in most cases, they don’t need your permission legally to do so. Most likely the video of you will be put into storage as ‘stock footage’ at a television studio, to be used at a later time to illustrate a news story. For example, a news program might do a segment on obesity. Someone will be sent to search through the stock footage until something is found that shows a sidewalk full of people walking. They will then edit the video in order to emphasize the obviously overweight people, and show it while a news commentator reads aloud some health statistics. This is just another good reason to always try to be at your best when you are out in public.

Fred: Hey, look, Helen, you’re on TV.
Helen: Fred, that’s ridiculous. I’m standing right over here - how could I possibly be on TV?

What is your favorite television show?

“Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn’t have in your home.” -David Frost (David Paradine Frost (1939 - 2013))

“Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the ‘reception’ was good.” -Author Unknown

“Not more than ten percent of the population will take up television permanently.” -Raymond Postgate (1935)

“Television won’t last because people will get tired of staring at a plywood box every night.” -Darryl F. Zanuck (Darryl Francis Zanuck (1902 - 1979)) (1946)

“Cathode-ray tubes are the most important items in a television receiver.” -John Logie Baird

TV announcer: “Our regularly scheduled program will not be seen tonight because we’ve discovered that not broadcasting anything did better in the ratings than the program itself!”

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” -Groucho Marx (Julius Henry ‘Groucho’ Marx (1890 - 1977))

“All television is educational television. The question is: What is it teaching?” -Nicholas Johnson (born 1934)

“Television programs: The junk that fills the time between commercials.” -Author Unknown

“There is a lot of hype going on about high-definition television. But is it really worth it to pay more money to see the same junk in sharper detail?” -Thomas Sowell (born 1930)

“Television is a device that permits people who haven’t anything to do to watch people who can’t do anything.” -Fred Allen (born John Florence Sullivan (1894 - 1956))

“The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely.” -T. S. Eliot (Thomas Stearns Eliot (1888 - 1965))

“TV is chewing gum for the eyes.” -Frank Lloyd Wright (born Frank Lincoln Wright (1867 - 1959))

“While theoretically and technically television may be feasible, commercially and financially I consider it an impossibility, a development of which we need waste little time or dreaming.” -Lee de Forest (1873 - 1961) (1926)

Question: What is a British cow’s favorite sci-fi television program?
Answer: Dr. Moo.

“Television is a new medium. It’s called a medium because nothing is well-done.” -Fred Allen (born John Florence Sullivan (1894 - 1956)): “The Big Show” (17 December 1950) radio program

My TV’s Under the Weather

My TV came down with a chill.
As soon as I saw it was ill
     I wrapped up its channels
     In warm Winter flannels
And gave its antenna a pill.

by Willard R. Espy (Willard Richardson Espy (1910 - 1999))

“Reality shows are fake and are just as far from reality as people can get without being permanently institutionalized.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

The Society for the Eradication of Television (SET) no longer exists, and Couch Potatoes likewise is defunct, so some of us must organize to eradicate the beastly television hobgoblin monster thing before it turns us all into gelatinous masses with non-functioning legs and permanently bloodshot eyes. Who will go forth to slay the dragon? Will it be you? How about you? You, over there, can you do it? Hey, can somebody get us some fresh batteries for the remote?

“The best show on TV can usually be found on the OFF channel.” -Author Unknown

“Television has proven that people will look at anything rather than each other.” -Ann Landers (pseudonym of Esther Pauline Friedman ‘Eppie’ Lederer (1918 - 2002))

“I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off.” -Jack Paar (Jack Harold Paar (1918 - 2004)): as quoted in “TV Guide”

“Cable TV is now evenly divided between shows about preparing food and shows about losing weight.” -Andy Borowitz

“Television: An electrical device which, when broken, stimulates conversation.” -Author Unknown

“The only thing television ever did for me was to give me a stiff neck.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“There are days when any electrical appliance in the house, including the vacuum cleaner, seems to offer more entertainment possibilities than the TV set.” -Harriet Van Horne (1920 - 1998)

“If television shows continue the way they’re going, the public will soon be demanding longer commercials.” -Author Unknown

“The smallest bookstore still contains more ideas of worth than have been presented in the entire history of television.” -Andrew Ross

“There is an educational channel. It’s called ‘off.’” -Lily Henderson: remark made at 11 years of age

“Late night T.V. is very educational. It teaches you that you should have gone to bed earlier.” -James Dent

So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
     Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
     A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
-Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990): “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” (1964)

We are MFOL! . . . for people who know there is more to life than what is shown on television screens . . . as for example, what’s coming up next . . .

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Habits and Routines

12/29/2021

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Picture of a salad alternating with a picture of a pizza and the words, ‘Habits and Routines, By David Hugh Beaumont, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’

“Consider carefully all things that you do, because a single choice - even if you tell yourself it will be only just this once - can begin the establishment of either a good habit or a bad habit.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“It takes a few weeks of work to build a new habit. Once the habit is in place, it must be guarded diligently to prevent a reversion to the old ways, but keeping watch is not stressful or difficult once the new habit is secure.” -Charlotte Mason

Good Habit

I dreamed that I found a good habit,
It scurried and skipped like a rabbit.
     It was shiny and neat,
     Polite and quite sweet,
But escaped when I reached out to grab it.

by Author Unknown

“Focus on the good habit you want to do, not the bad habit you don’t want to do. Overcome the bad with good.” -Joyce Meyer (born 1943 as Pauline Joyce Hutchison)

“All bad habits start gradually and before you know you have the habit, the habit has you.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Folks with good habits also seem to have most of the good luck.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Country Parson”

“Habits of thinking need not be forever. One of the most significant findings in psychology in the last twenty years is that individuals can choose the way they think.” -Martin Seligman (Martin E. P. ‘Marty’ Seligman (born 1942)): “Learned Optimism” (1991)

“Habits form character and character is destiny.” -Joseph Kaines: “Our Daily Faults and Failings” (21 October 1883) address

Habit

How shall I a habit break?
     As you did that habit make.
As you gathered, you must lose;
     As you yielded, now refuse.
Thread by thread the strands we twist
     Till they bind us, neck and wrist.
Thread by thread the patient hand
     Must untwine, ere free we stand.
As we builded, stone by stone,
     We must toil, unhelped, alone,
     Till the wall is overthrown.

by John Boyle O’Reilly (1844 - 1890): “A Builder’s Lesson”

“Repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Every grown-up man consists wholly of habits, although he is often unaware of it and even denies having any habits at all.” -Georges Gurdjieff (1866 - 1949)

“You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“Everybody ought to do at least two things each day that he hates to do, just for practice.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“Any act often repeated soon forms a habit: and habit allowed, steadily gains in strength. At first it may be but as the spider’s web, easily broken through, but if not resisted it soon binds us with chains of steel.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 212

“Curious things, habits. People themselves never knew they had them.” -Agatha Christie (Agatha Mary Clarissa Christie (1890 - 1976))

“Nothing is stronger than habit.” [translation to English]
“Nil consuetudine majus.” [original Latin]
-Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18)): “Ars Amatoria,” II, line 345

“Make it a point to do something every day that you don’t want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)): “Following the Equator” (1897)

“Powerful indeed is the empire of habit.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“Cultivate only the habits that you are willing should master you.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“The fixity of habit is generally in direct proportion to its absurdity.” -Marcel Proust (1871 - 1922)

Each year one vicious habit rooted out,
In time might make the worst Man good throughout.
-Benjamin Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790)): “Poor Richard’s Almanack” (1738)

“Habit, if not resisted, soon becomes necessity.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430)): as quoted in James Wood, editor: “Dictionary of Quotations from Ancient and Modern, English and Foreign Sources” (1899), page 138

“Only a habit can subdue another habit.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996)): “The Greatest Salesman in the World” (1968)

“The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965))

“Good habits, once established are just as hard to break as bad habits.” -Robert Puller

To rise at six, to dine at ten,
To sup at six, to sleep at ten,
Makes a man live for ten times ten.
-Author Unknown: inscription in Victor Hugo’s study

“Good habits result from resisting temptation.” -Author Unknown

“A nail is driven out by another nail, habit is overcome by habit.” [translation to English]
“Clavus clavo pellitur, consuetudo consuetudine vincitur.” [original Latin]
-Desiderius Erasmus Roterodamus (also known as Erasmus of Rotterdam or simply Erasmus (1466 - 1536)): “Diluculum”

“Old habits are strong and jealous.” -Dorothea Brande (1893 - 1948)

“Habit is a cable; we weave a thread each day, and at last we cannot break it.” -Horace Mann (1796 - 1859)

“Choose always the way that seems the best, however rough it may be; custom will soon render it easy and agreeable.” -Pythagoras of Samos (about 570 B.C.E. - about 496 B.C.E.): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, both Ancient and Modern” (1908), page 101

“It seems, in fact, as though the second half of a man’s life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half.” -Fyodor Dostoevsky (Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881))

“We are what we repeatedly do.” -Aristotle (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.)

“A habit is something you can do without thinking - which is why most of us have so many of them.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))

“Bad habits are easier to abandon today than tomorrow.” -Author Unknown: Yiddish proverb

In ways and thoughts of weakness and of wrong,
Threads turn to cords, and cords to cables strong.
-Isaac Williams (1802 - 1865): “The Baptistery, Or the Way of Eternal Life” (1842 - 1844), ‘Image 18’

“Not for nothing is habit called a second and a kind of manufactured nature.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430)): “On Music” (C.E. 389), Book VI, chapter 19

Overheard: Sorry, force of habit!

“Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)): “Pudd’nhead Wilson” (1894), chapter 15 epigraph: ‘Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar’

Ill habits gather by unseen degrees,
As brooks make rivers, rivers run to seas.
-Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18)): “Metamorphoses” (about C.E. 2), Book XV: ‘The Worship of Aesculapius, lines 155 and 156; as translated by John Dryden (1700)

“Make good habits and they will make you.” -Parks Cousins

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“A single bad habit will mar an otherwise faultless character, as an ink-drop soileth the pure white page.” -Hosea Ballou (1771 - 1852)

“The toughest habits to break are the ones we take with us from childhood.” -Charles F. Glassman: “Brain Drain: The Breakthrough That Will Change Your Life” (2009)

Habit with him was all the test of truth;
“It must be right: I’ve done it from my youth.”
-George Crabbe (1754 - 1832): “The Borough” (1810), Letter 3: ‘The Vicar’

“Folks catch bad habits the same way they catch chicken pox - by being exposed to them.” -Author Unknown

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always be what you’ve always been.” -Josh McDowell

“Conquer your bad habits or they will conquer you.” -Rob Gilbert (Robert ‘Rob’ Gilbert) at http://gilbertsuccesshotline.blogspot.com/

“To uproot an old habit is sometimes a more painful thing, and vastly more difficult, than to wrench out a tooth.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904): “Self-Help; with Illustrations of Character and Conduct” (1859), chapter 13: ‘Character: The True Gentleman’

“The will that yields the first time with some reluctance does so the second time with less hesitation, and the third time with none at all, until presently the habit is adopted.” -Henry Giles (1809 - 1882)

“We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.” -John Dryden (1631 - 1700)

“Habit is stronger than nature.” [translation to English]
“Consuetudo natura potentior est.” [original Latin]
-Quintus Curtius Rufus: “De Rebus Gestis Alexandri Magni,” V, 5, 21

“A large part of Christian virtue consists in right habits.” -William Paley (1743 - 1805)

“Habit is a compromise effected between an individual and his environment.” -Samuel Beckett (1906 - 1989): “Proust” (1930) essay

“Each day, compel yourself to do something you would rather not do.” -Author Unknown

“The best way to stop a bad habit is to never begin it.” -J. C. Penney (James Cash ‘J. C.’ Penney (1875 - 1971))

“First we form habits, then they form us.” -Rob Gilbert

“We must make automatic and habitual, as early as possible, as many useful actions as we can . . . The more of the details of our daily life we can hand over to the effortless custody of automatism, the more our higher powers of mind will be set free for their own proper work.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“The habits you practice every day will make you or break you.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“The secret to permanently breaking any bad habit is to love something greater than the habit.” -Bryant McGill (Bryant H. McGill (born 1969))

“Habit is, as it were, a second nature.” [translation to English]
“Consuetude quasi altera natura effici.” [original Latin]
-Marcus Tullius Cicero (also known as Tully or simply Cicero (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)): “De finibus bonorum et malorum” (English: “On the ends of good and evil”) (45 B.C.E.), V, 25, ‘Tusculanarum Disputationum,’ II, 17

“The worst boss anyone can have is a bad habit.” -Monta Crane (Monta Mildred (Henrichs) Crane (1911 - 2009))

“Every day do at least one good thing.” [translation to English, in English characters]
“Ichi nichi, ichi zen.” [original Japanese in English characters]
「毎日少なくとも1つ良いことをする。」[original Japanese in Japanese characters]
-Author Unknown: Japanese proverb

“Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables.” -Author Unknown

“The way you react has been repeated thousands of times, and it has become a routine for you. You are conditioned to be a certain way. And that is the challenge: to change your normal reactions, to change your routine, to take a risk and make different choices.” -Don Miguel Ruiz (pseudonym of Miguel Ángel Ruiz Macias (born 1952))

“Habit had made the custom.” [translation to English]
“Morem fecerat usus.” [original Latin]
-Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17)): “Metamorphoses,” II, line 345

“If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always gotten.” -Jane Kirkpatrick (born 1946): “What Once We Loved” (2001)

“Infinite toil would not enable you to sweep away a mist, but by ascending a little you may often look over it altogether. So it is with our moral improvement; we wrestle fiercely with a vicious habit, which could have no hold upon us if we ascended to a higher atmosphere.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875)

“Habits are formed by the repetition of particular acts. They are strengthened by an increase in the number of repeated acts. Habits are also weakened or broken, and contrary habits are formed, by the repetition of contrary acts.” -Mortimer J. Adler (Mortimer Jerome Adler (1902 - 2001))

“Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters.” -Nathanael Emmons (also spelled Nathaniel Emmons (1745 - 1840))

“Read something positive every night and listen to something helpful every morning.” -Tom Hopkins (born 1944)

“Habits change into character.” -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18))

“The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt till they are too strong to be broken.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Guardian” (May 1871) magazine, volume XXII

“Habit is more important in determining our destiny than almost any other influence.” -Author Unknown

“Have regular hours for work and play; make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will be delightful, old age will bring few regrets, and life will become a beautiful success.” -Louisa May Alcott (1832 - 1888)

“A bad habit is nothing more than a mistake repeated.” -Author Unknown

“We should get into the habit of reading inspirational books, looking at inspirational pictures, hearing inspirational music, associating with inspirational friends.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“Pursuits become habits.” [translation to English]
“Abeunt studia in mores.” [original Latin]
-Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18)): “Heroides,” XV, line 83

“It takes 3 weeks to break a habit, 6 weeks to develop a new habit, and 36 weeks to hardwire this new habit.” -Patrick Holford

“The secret of your success is hidden in your daily habits.” -Mike Murdock (born 1946)

This is MFOL! . . . perhaps purposely practicing good habits can help us be on our way to becoming better people . . .

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Choices and Decisions

12/26/2021

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Picture of a woman seated at a table between a pile of healthy vegetables and a pile of sugary candy, trying to decide on which to choose.

“You are only one decision away from a totally different life.” -Author Unknown

“You are the possessor of a great and wonderful power. This power, when properly applied, will bring confidence instead of timidity, calmness instead of confusion, poise instead of restlessness, and peace of mind in place of heartache. What is your greatest power? The power to choose.” -J. Martin Kohe (Jack Martin Kohe (1902 - 1960)): “Your Greatest Power” (1953)

“Choose well. Your choice is brief, and yet endless.” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Choices can change our lives profoundly. The choice to mend a broken relationship, to say ‘yes’ to a difficult assignment, to lay aside some important work to play with a child, to visit some forgotten person - these small choices may affect our lives eternally.” -Gloria Gaither

“There are always two choices, two paths to take. One is easy . . . and its only reward is that it’s easy.” -Author Unknown

“Sir, what is the secret of your success?” a reporter asked a bank president. “Two words.” “And, sir, what are they?” “Right decisions.” “And how do you make right decisions?” “One word.” “And, sir, what is that?” “Experience.” “And how do you get experience?” “Two words.” “And, sir, what are they?” “Wrong decisions.”

“We are living in a time when the best of things are on the Earth . . . and the worst of things. Are we taking advantage of the best of things . . . and staying away from the worst of things?” -Author Unknown

When faced with a decision, decide.
When faced with a choice, choose.
Sitting on the fence will leave you too tense,
Because you neither win nor lose!
-Barry Spilchuk (born 1957)

“Our lives are, in reality, the sum total of our seemingly unimportant decisions and of our capacity to live by those decisions.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“You can never successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.” -Author Unknown

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” -Roy Bennett: “The Light in the Heart” (25 February 2016)

“We are our choices.” -Jean-Paul Sartre (Jean-Paul Charles Aymard Sartre (1905 - 1980))

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” -J. K. Rowling (Joanne Kathleen ‘Jo’ Rowling (born 1965)): “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” (1998); line spoken by fictional character Professor Dumbledore

“Daily decisions determine destiny.” -Author Unknown

“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)): “The Innocents Abroad” (1869)

“We are a product of the choices we make, not the circumstances that we face.” -Roger Crawford

“Doing isn’t difficult. Deciding is.” -Foster Hibbard

“Between two evils, choose neither; between two goods, choose both.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 68

“The most important choice we make is what we choose to make important.” -Michael Neill

“Life is the sum of all your choices.” -Albert Camus (1913 - 1960)

“In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing to do. The worst thing you can do is nothing.” -Theodore Roosevelt (Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919))

“We make our choices, then our choices make us. Choose carefully.” -Author Unknown

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” -Denis Waitley (born 1933)

“Your life becomes the thing you have decided it shall be.” -Raymond Charles Barker

“Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to require the most from you.” -Caroline Myss (born 1952)

Overheard: It is terrible to be indecisive. I feel like a centipede that has just been told to put its best foot forward.

Now let us consider the pros and cons of making a Pros and Cons Chart . . .

Picture of a Pros and Cons Chart made from two lines in a cross-shape, with the word ‘Pros’ over the left half of the picture, and the word ‘Cons’ over the right half of the picture, and a line drawn between them from the top of the picture to the bottom.

One way to weigh your difficult decisions is to make a decision chart, on which can be listed the good points, under the word ‘Pros’ meaning ‘In Favor Of’ and bad points, under the word ‘Cons’ meaning ‘Against.’

“It is choice and not chance which determines our destiny.” -Author Unknown

“The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides.” -Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821 - 1881)

“It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires great strength to decide what to do.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

Overheard: I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not even sure about that.

Matthew: Yippee, I get to make a decision! Yahoo! I finally get to decide something!
Martha: Yes . . . so would you like liver and onions or cauliflower and tripe for dinner?

“There is but bad choice, where the whole stock is bad.” -Author Unknown

“We make our decisions, and then our decisions turn around and make us.” -R. W. Boreham

“The only way to avoid all frightening choices is to leave society and become a hermit, and that is a frightening choice.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“The best time to make a decision is before you have to make one.” -J. P. Morgan (John Pierpont Morgan, Senior (1837 - 1913))

Does it scare you when someone says to you, “It’s your decision.”?

“Make your judgement trustworthy by trusting it. You can develop good judgement as you do the muscles of your body - by judicious, daily exercise. To be known as a man of sound judgement will be much in your favor.” -Grantland Rice (Henry Grantland ‘Grantland’ Rice (1880 - 1954))

“When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that in itself is a choice.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“Don’t base your decisions on the advice of people who don’t have to deal with the result.” -Author Unknown

“The difficulty in life is the choice.” -George Augustus Moore (1852 - 1933): “The Bending of the Bough” (1900), Act IV

“It is better to make a wrong decision than build up a habit of indecision. If you’re wallowing in indecision, you certainty can’t act - and action is the basis of success.” -Marie Beynon Ray (1886 - 1969)

“Choices are the hinges of destiny.” -Pythagoras of Samos (about 570 B.C.E. - about 496 B.C.E.)

“Almost any decision is better than no decision at all.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Dwelling on past bad decisions you’ve made only allows those decisions to keep defining you. Forgive yourself and move on.” -Mandy Hale (born 1978)

“Sometimes walking away is the best decision.” -Kimberley Blaine

Decidophobia is a fear of making decisions. Perhaps one approach to overcoming the fear would be to start out with making small or minor decisions. Decide which decisions are small.

“Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want a different result, make a different choice.” -Author Unknown

“When faced with two equally tough choices, most people choose the third choice: to not choose.” -Jarod Kintz (born 1982): “This Book Title is Invisible”

“It is not so much the major events as the small day-to-day decisions that map the course of our living.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Your life is a result of the choices you make . . . If you do not like your life, it is time to start making better choices.” -Author Unknown

“My basic principle is that you don’t make decisions because they are easy; you don’t make them because they are cheap; you don’t make them because they’re popular; you make them because they’re right.” -Theodore Hesburgh (Theodore Martin Hesburgh (born 1917))

“Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.” -Author Unknown

“There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision.” -William James (1842 - 1910): “The Principles of Psychology” (1890), Chapter 4

“Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.” -Robert F. Bennett

“It’s not hard to make decisions once you know what your values are.” -Roy E. Disney (Roy Edward Disney (1930 - 2009))

“Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left? Five, because there’s a difference between deciding and doing.” -Mark L. Feldman & Michael F. Spratt: “Five Frogs on a Log” (1999)

“We cannot lead a choiceless life. Every day, every moment, every second, there is a choice.” -Ernest Holmes (Ernest Shurtleff Holmes (1887 - 1960))

“Decisiveness is a characteristic of high-performing men and women.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Scan. Select. Move on.” -Author Unknown

“There’s an alternative. There’s always a third way, and it’s not a combination of the other two ways - it’s a different way.” -David Carradine (born John Arthur Carradine (1936 - 2009))

“Remember this, the choices you make in life, make you.” -John Wooden (1910 - 2010)

“You make what seems a simple choice: choose a spouse or a job or a neighborhood - and what you have chosen is not a spouse or a job or a neighborhood but a life.” -Jessamyn West

“Weigh well what you can only once decide.” -Author Unknown

“You’ve got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you’re not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice.” -Steven D. Woodhull (born 1976)

“Nothing is so exhausting as indecision, and nothing is so futile.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970)): “The Conquest of Happiness” (1930)

“Indecisiveness is the key to flexibility.” -Author Unknown

“Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.” -Rita Mae Brown (born 1944)

“Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” -Stephen Covey (Stephen Richards Covey (1932 - 2012))

“Make choices today you can live with tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.” -Elizabeth Kübler-Ross (1926 - 2004)

“We almost always have choices, and the better the choice, the more we will be in control of our lives.” -William Glasser (1925 - 2013)

“Some decisions in life are difficult, like when you are asked if you will trade your truck-load of bananas for a car-load of monkeys.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.” -Keri Russell

“We are the choices we make.” -Meryl Streep

This is MFOL! . . . perhaps the best decision you will make today . . . or maybe just the easiest. . . you get to decide . . .

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Affirmations and Self-Talk

12/24/2021

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Picture of a person’s hand with a thumbs-up gesture and the words, ‘All is well in my world.’

I fill my mind with positive thoughts that create positive outcomes.

What are affirmations? Affirmations are expressions that can transform your life by influencing the way you think about yourself, others, and the world around you. When you change how you think, you change how you speak and how you act, and the results can be immensely rewarding.

Today, I will concentrate on taking one step forward, however small it might be.

“An affirmation is a strong, positive statement that something is already so.” -Shakti Gawain

Today I will be the best me that I know how to be.

Following is the ‘formula’ first used at the clinic of psychologist Émile Coué in Nancy, France. What he called his ‘formula’ was an affirmation, which he prescribed to his patients, to be repeated by them 15 to 20 times in the morning and again in the evening of each day:

“Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” -Émile Coué (Émile Coué de la Châtaigneraie (1857 - 1926)): “How to Practice Suggestion and Autosuggestion” (1923)

A limerick may provide further insight:

On Monsieur Coué

This very remarkable man
Commends a most practical plan:
You can do what you want
If you don’t think you can’t,
So don’t think you can’t - think you can.

by Charles Cuthbert Inge (1868 - 1957): “The Week-end Book” (1928), page 217

I am intelligent and capable of success in any endeavor which I may choose.

“As long as you know what it is you desire, then by simply affirming that it is yours - firmly and positively, with no ifs, buts, or maybes - over and over again, from the minute you arise in the morning until the time you go to sleep at night, and as many times during the day as your work or activities permit, you will be drawn to those people, places, and events that will bring your desires to you.” -Scott Reed

I have confidence.

New opportunities are calling to me and I am ready to answer the call.

You can create your own affirmations, or select affirmations from those found in this topic that you believe best apply to you and your particular circumstances. Write your affirmations on a piece of paper, and place it where you will be sure to read it daily, as for example, on your car dashboard, on your refrigerator door, or on your bedroom mirror. You could also type affirmations into your cell phone or other device. If you keep a diary or journal, consider challenging yourself to write a new affirmation in it for each day.

What I have done before I can do again, even better.

“I am optimistic and confident in all that I do. I affirm only the best for myself and others. I am the creator of my life and my world. I meet daily challenges gracefully and with complete confidence. I fill my mind with positive, nurturing, and healing thoughts.” -Alice Potter

I like fresh salads.

“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief, and once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.” -Claude M. Bristol (Claude Myron Bristol (1891 - 1951)): “The Magic of Believing” (1948)

I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.

“I am - the two most powerful words in the world, for whatever we put after them becomes our reality.” -Susan Howson

I am worthy of the respect, attention, and love that I receive from others.

“You are what you think about all day long.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

I feel good about myself.

I am good enough.

“Change your thoughts, and you change your world.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993): as quoted in Richard Shea, editor: “The Book of Success” (1993)

I see the best in myself and others.

I have the confidence to try new things.

Picture of a multicolored background and the words, ‘I am amazing just the way I am. My possibilities are endless. With love and grace, I move forward, embracing new beginnings. I will visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net to learn about affirmations.’

I am stronger than everything that happened in the past.
I am stronger than my present circumstances.
I am strong today and will be even stronger tomorrow.

“Affirmations are a form of thought training - training oneself how to think, just as running every day conditions an athlete to compete in a footrace, or studying every day prepares a student for a test.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

I appreciate and acknowledge the participation and contributions of others.

I love who I am and what I do.

“Talk to yourself positively all the time. Keep repeating, ‘I can do it! I can do it!’ until your fears disappear.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

I can face my fears and work to overcome them.

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

I focus on what I can do right now.

“What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“I’m not here to be average, I’m here to be awesome!” -Author Unknown

The ghosts of my past can no longer haunt me.

I enjoy saving money and investing money.

“I really like who I am.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “Star Trek,” ‘Loud as a Whisper’ (9 January 1989); line of fictional character Geordi Laforge portrayed by actor LeVar Burton

I will remain confident and unaffected by negative attitudes around me.

Life is good and getting better.

“I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.” -Watty Piper (pseudonym of Arnold H. Munk (1886 - 1957)): “The Little Engine That Could” (1930)

I am patient with myself.

I begin working on tasks the moment the thought of the tasks occurs to me.

“What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” -Otto Rank (1884 - 1939)

I can live my life without knowing all of the answers.

“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” -attributed to Solomon: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Book of Proverbs,’ chapter 23, verse 7

I feel happiness and joy just from being alive.

“If my mind can conceive it and my heart can believe it I know I can achieve it.” -Author Unknown

I am able to relax and maintain good form when around strangers or in unfamiliar situations.

I can help others without expecting them to give me anything in return.

I am at peace with myself and the Universe.

“Affirmations provide a way to inoculate against negative thinking.” -Author Unknown

I will live as if my dreams are possible, and work each day to make them happen.

Every word you speak and every thought you think is an affirmation for your future.” -Cheryl Richardson at http://www.cherylrichardson.com/

I like who I am becoming.

I speak with confidence and calm assurance.

What is self-talk? Self-talk is simply another term for affirmations. You can choose to say affirmations aloud, or say them silently to yourself, or write them on paper or read them.

I keep myself in excellent physical condition.

I always have time for my friends.

Picture of a television or computer screen displaying the words, ‘Thoughts Have Power, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’

I am a good person.

I am in charge of my feelings, and today I am choosing happiness.

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” -Brené Brown

I feel great when I go on a walk.

I am a responsible person.

“The most influential person who will talk to you all day is you, so you should be very careful about what you say to you!” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

Today I am planting the seeds of new beginnings.

I am a friendly person.

“Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

I am doing pretty good - how can I do better?

I seek new adventures.

“I am in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017)) at www.louisehay.com

I can learn how to live with pain so that I can get what I want from my life.

“My life is my business. I don’t let somebody else run it.” -Author Unknown

“Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

I am too blessed to be stressed!

If we are what we think about, what should we think about?

“Watch your manner of speech if you wish to develop a peaceful state of mind. Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented and happy attitudes and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

I am a good listener.

I am divinely guided in all that I do.

“Our minds can shape the way a thing will be because we act according to our expectations.” -Federico Fellini (1920 - 1993)

I will imagine the best and focus on that.

I am living in the present moment: the here and now.

“Say affirmations ‘as if’ they were already a reality.” -Author Unknown

I can enjoy leisure without guilt and anxiety.

I am ready to begin moving forward in the direction of what my heart desires.

“An affirmation is simply a positive declaration of something you believe to be true or something you expect to become true and desire to live by. Affirmations transform your thinking, your attitudes, and finally, your behavior. Their impact on attitudes and behavior help to produce the results you desire.” -Paul J. Meyer (Paul James Meyer, Senior (1928 - 2009)) at https://pauljmeyer.com/

I can handle criticism with ease.

Today I view my childhood without shame.

“Affirmations are not bound up in rules. An affirmation can be long or short, poetic or plain. If you love a phrase and find that it helps you, that is a valid affirmation.” -Eric Maisel

I am a friend to myself. I love me.

I am ready for a fresh start, a new perspective, and an ‘I can do it’ attitude.

At MFOL! our affirmation is, “We are funny today, and we will be even funnier tomorrow!”

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Individual Destiny

12/21/2021

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Picture of two birds flying free from a birdcage with an open door.

Are we as individuals prisoners of a fate that is beyond our control - or can we courageously escape to the freedom of being able to make our own choices and our own destinies?

“We each choose between two lives, the one given to us, and the one we can make.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A desire to be in charge of our own lives, a need for control, is born in each of us. It is essential to our mental health, and our success, that we take control.” -Robert F. Bennett (born 1933)

“Don’t let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do, or cannot achieve. Just don’t allow it. It’s wrong. It’s so wrong. Be what you want to be - and prove them wrong.” -Emma Watson (Emma Charlotte Duerre Watson (born 1990))

“I am master of my own destiny, and I can make my life anything that I wish it to be.” -John Dennis McDonald (1906 - 1998)

‘Determinism’ is a belief that events are controlled by external forces which are beyond our control, while ‘Free Will’ is the idea that we can have an effect on events.

“Life is a compromise between fate and free will.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)): “A Thousand & One Epigrams: Selected from the Writings of Elbert Hubbard” (1911), page 36

“Your life is in your hands, to make of it what you choose.” -John Kehoe

“There is no chance, no destiny, no fate that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.” -Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850 - 1919): “Maurine: And Other Poems” (1888), ‘Will,’ page 145

“Create your own destiny, because if you don’t, others will.” -Author Unknown

“You can begin to shape your own destiny by the attitude that you keep.” -Michael Beckwith

“We are what we think. We are what we say. We are what we believe. We are what we do. So isn’t it wonderful that we are completely in charge of all that we are?” -Regina Cates

“No fate, but what we make.” -Author Unknown

“We make our own fortunes and we call them fate.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881): “Miriam Alroy” (1870)

“Every man makes his own fate.” [Non-literal modern parlance]
“Every man is the architect of his own fortune.” [translation to English]
“Faber est suae quisque fortunae.” [original Latin]
-Claudius (Appius Claudius Caecus (340 B.C.E. - 273 B.C.E.))

“No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently.” -Agnes de Mille (1905 - 1993)

Cassius: Men at some time are masters of their fate:
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.
-William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Julius Caesar” (1599), Act I, Scene 2, lines 230 through 232

Nighttime picture of a person sitting on a swing hanging under a tree and silhouetted against a star-filled sky.

“A wise man shall overrule his stars, and have a greater influence upon his own content than all the constellations and planets of the firmament.” -Jeremy Taylor (1613 - 1667): as quoted in Reginald Heber: “The Whole Works of the Right Rev. Jeremy Taylor” (1822), book IV, chapter II, section vi

“If the average person realized the power he wields over his life and destiny, he would live in a perpetual state of wonder and thanksgiving.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved.” -William Jennings Bryan (1860 - 1925): speech (22 February 1899) in Washington, District of Columbia, United States of America

“Your word is your magic wand. The words you speak create your own destiny.” -Florence Scovel Shinn (1871 - 1940)

“Up to a point a man’s life is shaped by environment, heredity, and movements and changes in the world about him. Then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be. Only the weak blame parents, their race, lack of good fortune, or the quirks of fate. Everyone has it within his power to say, ‘This I am today, that I will be tomorrow.’” -Louis L’Amour (born Louis Dearborn LaMoore (1908 - 1988))

“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” -C. S. Lewis (Clive Staples Lewis (1898 - 1963))

“If fate means you to lose, give him a good fight anyhow.” -William McFee (1881 - 1966)

“Man was predestined to have free will.” -Hal Lee Luyah

“A man’s fate is his own temper; and according to that will be his opinion as to the particular manner in which the course of events is regulated. A consistent man believes in destiny - a capricious man in chance.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881): “Vivian Grey” (1826), ‘A Visit to a Celebrated Diplomatist’

“You are the designer of your destiny. You are the author, you write the story, the pen is in your hand, and the outcome is whatever you choose.” -Abraham Hicks (via Esther Hicks (born 1948))

“Destiny is all about the choices we make and the chances we take.” -Author Unknown

“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.
-William Ernest Henley (1849 - 1903): “Invictus” (1875); type of work: poem

“Just because fate doesn’t deal you the right cards, it doesn’t mean you should give up. It just means you have to play the cards you get to their maximum potential.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945))

“I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936))

“Man is not the creature of circumstances, circumstances are the creatures of man. We are free agents, and man is more powerful than matter.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881): “Vivian Grey” (1827), volume II, book VI, chapter 7

“Events will take their course, it is no good of being angry at them; he is happiest who wisely turns them to the best account.” -Euripides (about 480 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.): “Bellerophon,” fragment 298: as quoted in Arthur Richard Shilleto, editor and translator: “Plutarch’s Morals: Ethical Essays” (1888), page 293

Picture of a long road going through a desert area towards a mountainous area in the far distance, with a blue sky and clouds above.

“If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.” -Dolly Parton (Dolly Rebecca Parton (born 1946))

“A belief in an unchangeable, fixed destiny is fatalism, which happens commonly in the absence of hope and optimism.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Life will always be to a large extent what we ourselves make it.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904): “Character” (1871), page 371

“Do not take the agenda that someone else has mapped out for your life.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“Whatever limits us we call Fate.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

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The Winds of Fate

One ship drives east and another drives west
With the selfsame winds that blow.
     ‘Tis the set of the sails
     And not the gales
Which tells us the way to go.

Like the winds of the sea are the ways of fate;
As we voyage along through life,
     ’Tis the set of a soul
     That decides its goal,
And not the calm or the strife.

by Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850 - 1919) (1916)

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“Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds. They have within themselves the power to become free at any moment.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt (Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882 - 1945)): address to the Pan American Union (14 April 1939)

“When fate hands us a lemon, let’s try to make a lemonade.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955))): “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” (1944)

“He picked up the lemons that Fate had sent him and started a lemonade-stand.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)): “Selected Writings of Elbert Hubbard” (1922), page 237

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

Here’s a sigh to those who love me,
And a smile to those who hate;
And, whatever sky’s above me,
Here’s a heart for every fate.
-Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824)): “To Thomas Moore” (1817), stanza 2

“A lobster, when left high and dry among the rock, has not instinct or energy enough to work his way back to the sea, but waits for the sea to come to him. If it does not come, he remains where he is and dies, although the slightest effort would enable him to reach the waves, which are perhaps within a yard of him. The world is full of human lobsters; men stranded on the rocks of indecision and procrastination, who, instead of putting forth their own energies, are waiting for some grand billow of good fortune to set them afloat.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1848 - 1924))

“Some people succeed because they are destined but most because they are determined.” -Author Unknown

And now for your Individual Destiny anagram: The letters in the word ‘predestination’ can be rearranged to spell the phrase ‘I pertain to ends.’

“The sin, both of men and of angels, was rendered possible by the fact that God gave them free will.” -C. S. Lewis (Clive Staples Lewis (1898 - 1963)): “Miracles” (1947)

“Do not allow circumstances or other people to determine your fate. Look beyond circumstances and people to the greater and ever-expanding horizon of all possibilities.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Our history is not our destiny.” -Alan Cohen: as quoted in Eric Allenbaugh: “Wake-Up Calls: You Don’t Have to Sleepwalk Through Your Life, Love, or Career!”

“Control your own destiny or someone else will.” -Jack Welch (John Francis ‘Jack’ Welch, Junior (born 1935))

“Life consists not simply in what heredity and environment do to us, but in what we make out of what they do to us.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969)

“It is almost more important how a person takes his fate than what it is.” -Wilhelm von Humboldt (Friedrich Wilhelm Christian Karl Ferdinand Freiherr von Humboldt (1767 - 1835))

“We must believe in free will - we have no choice.” -Isaac Bashevis Singer (born Izaak Zynger (1902 - 1991)): as quoted in Stefan Kanfer: ‘Isaac Singer’s Promised City’ published in “City Journal” (Summer 1997) magazine

“Personality, too, is destiny.” -Erik Erikson (1902 - 1994)

“Our destiny changes with our thought; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thought corresponds with our desire.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1848 - 1924))

“If you don’t run your own life, somebody else will.” -John Atkinson

“My will shall shape my future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man’s doing but my own. I am the force: I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice, my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny.” -Elaine Maxwell

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” -Jimmy Dean

“Be a creator of circumstances rather than just a creature of circumstances. Be proactive rather than reactive.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Whatever the place allocated us by providence, that is for us the post of honor and duty. God estimates us not by the position we are in, but by the way in which we fill it.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891) page 545

“If you don’t take charge of shaping your destiny, others will do it for you.” -Eric Allenbaugh

“Your life will be no better than the plans you make and the action you take. You are the architect and builder of your own life, fortune, destiny.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“It’s choice - not chance - that determines your destiny.” -Jean Nidetch (Jean Evelyn Nidetch (1923 - 2015))

“We create our fate every day we live.” -Henry Miller (Henry Valentine Miller (1891 - 1980))

This is MFOL! . . . every person should be free to decide his or her own destiny . . . because no human is the property of another . . .

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Hats and Headwear

12/21/2021

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Picture of six birds called sparrows perched atop a wire fence, with tiny hats on their heads, and the words, ‘Hats and Headwear, By David Hugh Beaumont, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“Wearing a hat is fun; people have a good time when they’re wearing a hat.” -Philip Treacy

“I myself have twelve hats, and each one represents a different personality. Why be just yourself?” -W. H. Auden (Wystan Hugh Auden (1907 - 1973))

“Whenever you wear your hat, your day will be special.” -Margo Nickel at www.margonickel.com

“Wearing a hat versus not wearing a hat is the difference between looking adequate and looking your best.” -Martha Sliter

When Dr. Seuss (pseudonym of Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 - 1991)) found himself with writer’s block, or an inability to think of anything to write, he would go to a closet filled with hundreds of hats and wear them until he became inspired and thought of the words he needed for his rhyming storybook writing. You might know Dr. Seuss as the author of a book titled, “The Cat in the Hat” (12 March 1957).

“Saying you don’t look good in hats is like saying you don’t look good in shoes.” -Author Unknown

“Some hats can only be worn if you’re willing to be jaunty, to set them at an angle and to walk beneath them with a spring in your stride as if you’re only a step away from dancing. They demand a lot of you.” -Neil Gaiman (Neil Richard MacKinnon Gaiman (born 1960)): “Anansi Boys” (20 September 2005)

“Cock your hat - angles are attitudes.” -Frank Sinatra

“How a hat makes you feel is what a hat is all about.” -Philip Treacy

Og: What hat for?
Ug: Forehead, of course!

In 1778, fashionable women of Paris, France never went out in blustery weather without a lightning rod attached to their hats.

“You can always tell a detective on TV. He never takes his hat off.” -Raymond Chandler

“And all your future lies beneath your hat.” -John Oldham

Customarily, men remove their hats and hold them over their hearts at funeral processions and funerals, when the flag of their nation passes by in a parade or procession, and when entering a church. When out of doors, men tip their hats when greeting women and persons of standing in the community in passing.

In 1571, England’s Queen Elizabeth I decreed that all females over 7 years of age had to wear hats on Sundays.

Bonnie: Which country makes Panama hats?
Hattie: Ecuador - confused, are you?

“Don’t hang your hat higher than you can reach.” -Author Unknown: Belizean proverb

“Hat: Something the average man covers his head with, the beggar passes around, the statesman throws into the ring, and the politician talks through.” -Author Unknown

“A crown is merely a hat that lets the rain in.” -Frederick the Great

Picture of the President of the United States of America, Donald John Trump, wearing a red cap imprinted with the words, ‘Make America Great Again.’

The hat you wear can say a lot about you . . . what does this hat seem to be saying?

“The British electors will not vote for a man who does not wear a hat.” -William Maxwell Aitken Beaverbrook (1879 - 1964)

“He wears hats, even though he has hair. Very suspicious.” -Dan Theis

“If a woman rebels against high heeled shoes, she should take care to do it in a very smart hat.” -George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

Wendy: Why did the hat cross the road?
Breeze: Because it was a windy day.

“It is not a small world to a man who chases his hat on a windy day.” -Author Unknown

“With the right hat, nothing else matters.” -Author Unknown: LaPaloma Hats

Gentlemen, that’s a tall order: A law in the American state of Kentucky forbids men from buying ten-gallon hats if their wives are not present to assist in choosing the hats.

So, do ten-gallon hats really hold 38 liters? The hats actually can hold only about three liters (about three-quarters of a gallon or three quarts).

Bonnet

There was a Young Lady whose bonnet,
Came untied when the birds sat upon it;
     But she said: ‘I don’t care!
     All the birds in the air
Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!’

by Edward Lear: “A Book of Nonsense” (1846)

A person who makes women’s hats is called a milliner, while a person who makes hats for men is called a hatter. The distinction in the names of the two trades arose originally in Europe, where different materials and methods, requiring different sets of skills, were used in making men’s hats and women’s hats.

My Hat

My hat it has three corners,
     Three corners has my hat,
And if it didn’t have three corners,
     It wouldn’t be a hat!

by Author Unknown

Overheard: In these immensely difficult times, the world is facing a critical shortage of . . . funny hats! Visit https://www.villagehatshop.com/.

Thanks to the above website owners for the following: You can determine your USA hat size by measuring the circumference of your head, then dividing by pi (about 3.1415927), and rounding off to the nearest one-eighth inch. Who says math isn’t fun?

Some hats come in small, medium, large, and extra-large, while some come in more precise and uniform measurements such as seven and one-eighth.

Hat Types and Styles
- Baseball Caps
- Bowler Hats
- Bucket Hats
- Driver Hats
- Fedoras
- Funny Hats
- Rain Hats
- Stovepipe Hats
- Straw Hats
- Watch Caps
- Can you think of other types of hats?
- What is your favorite type of hat?

Tongue twister: Of all the felt I ever felt, I never felt a piece of felt which felt as fine as that felt felt, when first I felt that felt hat’s felt.

A tall chef’s hat is called a toque. When a chef wears a toque and everyone else wears a hairnet, you easily spot who is the boss of the kitchen.

Headwear (Other Than Hats) Types and Styles
- Bonnets
- Headbands
- Scarves
- Tierras
- Veils
- Can you think of other types of headwear, not including hats?

In what way are hats like shoes for your head?

Why is a person who acts crazy sometimes called ‘mad as a hatter?’ Hat makers in the nineteenth-century used mercury, which is a poison, in the manufacture of hats. This poison had the effect of causing hatters who came in direct contact with the mercury or its vapors to hallucinate, shake, and do other sorts of strange and weird things. As a result, hatters during that period had the reputation of being ‘mad.’

Maude: Whenever I’m down in the dumps, I buy a new hat.
Mattie: Oh, so that’s where you get them.

Old Man of Seaside

There was an old man of Seaside
Whose hat was exceedingly wide,
     But he said, “Do not fail,
     If it happens to hail,
To come under my hat at Seaside!”

by Author Unknown

“Hang on to your hat. Hang on to your hope. And wind the clock, for tomorrow is another day.” -E. B. White

National Hat Day is observed on 15 January of each year. Now you have to remember to wear a hat on that day . . . as if you didn’t already have enough to worry about, like making sure your shoelaces are properly tied!

We are MFOL! . . . keep your wits about you, and hang on to your hat . . . as we head into the next article . . .

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Smiles and Smiling

12/20/2021

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Picture of a happy smiling man standing in front of a white picket fence and beside a small tree with green leaves and orange flowers.

As we all know, not enough smiling is going on in the world today . . . so remember to smile as often as possible!

“If I had a flower for every time you made me smile, I’d be walking in an endless garden.” -Author Unknown

“A smile is a friend maker.” -Bangambiki Habyarimana

“If you want people to like you, smile!” -Author Unknown

“Smiling is a great way to look your best.” -Author Unknown

“I add a smile to everything I wear and that has worked great for me.” -David White (1916 - 1990)

“If you smile at someone, they might smile back.” -Author Unknown

Smile

I gave away my smile
     to the girl across the street.
She gave it to her brother
     as they sat down to eat.
Her brother gave it to their Mom,
     she wore it for a day.
Then gave it to another girl
     whose name was Paula Kay.
Paula took her smile outside
     and stood next to a tree.
She put her hands upon her hips
     then gave it back to me.

by Author Unknown

“Be the reason someone smiles today.” -Author Unknown

“A smile can brighten someone’s day without using a penny’s worth of electricity.” -Author Unknown

“I smile because I do not know what in the world is going on.” -Author Unknown

Worry less,
     Smile more,
Don’t regret,
     Just learn and grow!
-Author Unknown

“Smiling is the best way to face every problem, to crush every fear, and to hide every pain.” -Author Unknown

“If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.” -Author Unknown

“I have never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.” -Author Unknown

“I really don’t know how to smile. Is there someplace I could get lessons, like a school or a seminar?” -Author Unknown

“It was only a sunny smile and little it cost in the giving but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)): “The Great Gatsby” (10 April 1925)

“A smile is an act of kindness.” -A. D. Williams (Anthony Douglas Williams)

“A smile is something you can’t give away; it always comes back to you.” -Author Unknown

“Sometimes it’s hard to force a smile, but sometimes we have to; it’s what gets us through the hard times.” -Author Unknown

“A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.” -Charles Gordy (1871 - 1944)

“You want to know who’s got the most amazing and beautiful smile ever - read the first word of the sentence again!” -Author Unknown

“Always smile back at little children . . . to ignore them is to destroy their belief that the world is good.” -Pam Brown (Pamela Jane Barclay Brown (born 1948))

“Is a smile a question? Or is it the answer?” -Lee Smith

“You’ll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile.” -Charlie Chaplin (Charles Spencer ‘Charlie’ Chaplin (1889 - 1977))

“No smile is as beautiful as the one that struggles through tears.” -Author Unknown

“A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“Lose your smile and lose your customers.” -Sam Walton (Samuel Moore ‘Sam’ Walton (1918 - 1992))

“A smile is the shortest distance between two people.” -Victor Borge (1909 - 2000)

“Let your smile change the world; don’t let the world change your smile.” -Author Unknown

“The world always looks better from behind a smile.” -Author Unknown

“Sometimes just a smile on our face can help to make this world a better place.” - Robert Alan Aurthur (1922 - 1978)

“Smiles are great investments; the more you collect, the better you feel.” -Author Unknown

“I would walk miles for one of your smiles.” -Author Unknown

“It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three muscles to frown.” -Author Unknown

“A smile is the best makeup a girl can wear.” -Marilyn Monroe (pseudonym of Norma Jean Mortenson (1926 - 1962))

“A smile is the lighting system of the face, the cooling system of the head, and the heating system of the heart.” -Author Unknown

“Smiling is my favorite exercise.” -Author Unknown

“To receive a smile, give one away!” -Author Unknown

“If you will force yourself to smile, you’ll end up laughing. You will be cheerful because you smile. Repeated experiments have shown that when a person assumes the facial expression of a given mental mood - any given mood - then that mental mood itself will follow.” -Kenneth Goode

“A smile is a frown turned upside down.” -Author Unknown

“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.” -Phyllis Diller (pseudonym of Phyllis Ada Driver (1917 - 2012)): as quoted in Joel Goodman: “Laffirmations” (1 April 1995)

“All people smile in the same language.” -Author Unknown

“After six years without seeing one, I love just seeing a smile - every smile I see gives me hope.” -Íngrid Betancourt (Ingrid Betancourt Pulecio (born 1961))

“A smile is the universal welcome.” -Max Eastman (1883 - 1969)

“Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.” -Thich Nhat Hanh

“A smile confuses an approaching frown.” -Author Unknown

“Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there is so much to smile about.” -Marilyn Monroe (pseudonym of Norma Jean Mortenson (1926 - 1962))

“A smile is worth much more than it costs.” -Author Unknown

“A smile makes you feel good, and when you feel good, good things happen.” -Terri Lynn

“Smile! It increases your face value.” -Robert Harling (Robert M. Harling III (born 1951)): “Steel Magnolias” (5 November 1989)

“A smile on your face will do wonders for your appearance. It will give you youthfulness and optimism that beauty treatments or counseling sessions never could.” -Author Unknown

“Smile. The sunshine of your smile might chase the clouds from someone’s life today. It may be the ray of sunshine that someone needs in an otherwise stormy day.” -Author Unknown

“A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.” -Denis Waitley (Denis E. Waitley (born 1933))

“Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody’s heart.” -Anthony J. D’Angelo

“A smile appeared upon her face as if she’d taken it directly from her handbag and pinned it there.” -Loma Chandler

Smile

It comforts the weary, gladdens the sad
     consoles those in trouble, good or bad.
To rich and poor, beggar or thief,
     it’s free to all of any belief.
A natural gesture of young and old
     cheers on the faint, disarms the bold.
Unlike most blessings for which we pray,
     it’s the only thing we keep when we give it away.

by Author Unknown

“Most smiles are started by another smile.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))

Ten Reasons to Smile

1. It makes you attractive
2. It changes your mood.
3. It is contagious.
4. It relieves stress.
5. It boosts your immune system.
6. It lowers your blood pressure.
7. It releases endorphins.
8. It lifts the face and makes you appear younger.
9. It makes you seem successful.
10. It helps you stay positive.

by Author Unknown

“Learn to smile at every situation. See it as an opportunity to prove your strength and ability.” -Joe Brown

“Smile, for everyone lacks self-confidence and more than any other one thing a smile reassures them.” -André Maurois (pseudonym of Émile Salomon Wilhelm Herzog (1885 - 1967))

“Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.” -Jim Beggs

“When you smile you don’t only appear to be more likable and courteous, you appear to be more competent.” -Ron Gutman

“A smile can brighten the darkest day.” -Author Unknown

The Smile

I had an extra smile
     When I left the house today
I thought I’d give it to someone
     I passed along the way.
I tried to give the smile away
     But incredibly
Each time I gave it to someone
     They’d give it back to me.
So now I have a bunch of smiles,
     What am I to do?
I think I’ll keep a couple
     And then give the rest to you!

by Author Unknown

“What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life’s pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719)

Smile and forgive;
It’s the only way to live.
-Author Unknown

“Smile, it changes everything!” -Author Unknown

“People are not perfect - except when they smile.” -Author Unknown

“Just because a person smiles all the time, doesn’t mean their life is perfect. That smile is a symbol of hope and strength.” -Lauryn Hill (Lauryn Noelle Hill (born 1975))

Lost Your Smile?

You haven’t lost your smile,
     It’s been around all the while,
Just waiting for the word,
     That smiling’s back in style!

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If you don’t have a smile, I’ll give you one of mine.” -Author Unknown

“A smile of encouragement at the right moment may act like sunlight on a closed up flower; it may be the turning point for a struggling life.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“Smiling is good for you and it is good for the people around you.” -Author Unknown

“May you always find a reason to smile.” -Author Unknown

“A smile gives your face something to do and it is good exercise and makes you look better.” -Author Unknown

“We do not smile because something good has happened; rather something good happens because we smile.” -Author Unknown

“If you’re not using your smile, you’re like a man with a million dollars in the bank and no checkbook.” -Les Giblin (Leslie Thomas ‘Les’ Giblin, Junior (1912 - 2005))

“Anyone can smile on their best day. I like to meet a man who can smile on his worst.” -Lauren Graham (Lauren Helen Graham (born 1967)): “Someday, Someday, Maybe” (30 April 2013)

“While enormous strides have been made in recent years, there’s still a lot to be said for a smile.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980))

“Smile, it’s the easiest way to improve your day.” -Author Unknown

“Nobody needs a smile so much as the one who has none to give. So get used to smiling heart-warming smiles, and you will spread sunshine in a sometimes dreary world.” -Lawrence G. Lovasik (Lawrence George Lovasik (1913 - 1986))

“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” -Teresa of Calcutta (born Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997))

“Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.” -Author Unknown, as quoted in H. Jackson Brown, Junior (Harriett Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940)): “P.S. I Love You” (1990)

“Smile, even when life does not present reasons for doing so, because your smile is a reason for many others to smile.” -Author Unknown

“‘SMILE’ is an acronym for, ‘See Miracles In Life Everyday.’” -Author Unknown

“Make it a regular habit to smile - and watch as miracles begin to happen all around you.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Did you make someone smile today? You’ve still got time.” -Melissa Stewart

You look amazing when you smile . . . you should do that more often . . . now back to further humor and inspiration and learning . . . on MFOL!

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Waiting and Patience

12/13/2021

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Picture on a bright sunny day of a dog on the outdoor wood deck of a house, with an empty bowl, a fork, and a spoon in front of it, as if waiting for food to be served, and with green grass and green leafy trees in the background.

Everyone is waiting for something . . .

“Good things come to those who wait - but better things come to those who work for it.” -Author Unknown

“I was not born to wait.” -Gwenda Bond: “Double Down” (1 May 2016)

“I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“Learn to have patience with people, just take it one step at a time in everything that you’re doing and just invest time in the people that you’re with . . . have patience with them, even if they’re not necessarily the easiest person to work with.” -Bethany Hamilton

“Have patience with all things, but first with yourself.” -Francis de Sales (1567 - 1622)

Pay-Off

All things may come
To those who wait,
But when they do,
They’re out of date.

by George Hill

“Be patient with your impatience.” -Roy Masters (born 1928 as Reuben Obermeister)

“The secret of patience is to do something else in the meantime.” -Croft M. Pentz (Croft Miner Pentz (1931 - 2008))

“Things come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle*.” -attributed to Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
* hustle: to put forth effort energetically

“What is done hastily is not done well.” -Author Unknown

“Everything comes too late for those who only wait.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

Overheard: Patience is something that can only be learned by waiting.

“‘Patience is a virtue’ is always said by those who make others wait, and never by those who must wait.” -Author Unknown

“Beware the Fury of a Patient Man.” -John Dryden (1631 - 1700): “Absalom and Achitophel” (1681), Part 1, line 1005; type of work: satiric poem

“Patience is the ability to count down without blasting off.” -Author Unknown

“You’re trying to eat grass that isn’t there. Why don’t you give it a chance to grow?” -Richard Adams (1920 - 2016): “Watership Down” (November 1972)

“If you are patient in a moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” -Author Unknown

“There is, however, a limit at which forbearance* ceases to be a virtue.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797): “Observations on a Late Publication on the Present State of the Nation”
*forbearance: patient self-control

“The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.” -Arnold H. Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“Patience is powerful.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

“How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young?” -Paul Sweeney (born 1955)

“In putting off what one has to do, one runs the risk of never being able to do it.” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)

Once upon a time, there was a man who was very impatient with other people. To him, everyone seemed to be too slow to understand and too slow to do the right things. Also to him, people seemed too quick to come to the wrong conclusions and too quick to do the wrong things. The more the man had to deal with people, the more impatient he became with them, so he decided that he must get away from people until he could learn how to be patient. He built himself a little home deep in the woods, and far away from civilization, and lived as a hermit. Years later, a man was hiking through the woods, and met the impatient man. The hiker was amazed to find anyone living so deep in the woods and so far away from the rest of the world, so he asked the man why he was there all by himself. The man said that he was there to learn patience. The hiker asked how long he had been living all alone in the woods, and the man replied, “Thirty-one years.” Stunned, the hiker asked, “If there are no other people around you, how will you know when you have learned to be patient?” Annoyed by this lengthy conversation, the impatient man replied, “Go away, I have no time for you.”

“You will develop patience if you wait long enough.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is also a form of action.” -Auguste Rodin (also known as François Auguste René Rodin and Auguste-René Rodin (1840 - 1917))

Macrophobia is a persistent fear of long waits. Personally, we are afraid of short waits. “The dentist will see you now.” “Oh, no . . . couldn’t we wait just a little longer?”

“Patience has its limits; take it too far, and it’s cowardice.” -Holbrook Jackson

“Lateness is rudeness - always. There is no such thing as being ‘fashionably late.’ If you are running late, call to let your host know.” -Author Unknown

‘Hurry up and wait!’ could be the slogan of many individuals and organizations. Military people are familiar with this saying. People with government appointments may have heard this saying. People with medical appointments may suspect that this is what is going on. You make all kinds of advance preparations in order to be absolutely certain that you have everything ready that they require, and you make sure that you are not just on time, but at least a few minutes early - and what happens? You are made to wait for hours, because the people who insisted that you show up prepared and on time did not make the same efforts to be sure they were prepared and on time to meet you! It can be hard not to feel that these people do not respect you and that they are stealing your time away from you.

“Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.” -John Quincy Adams (1767 - 1848)

“All things come to those who wait - provided they work continually while waiting.” -Author Unknown

“All things come to him who goes after them.” -Author Unknown

“Patience with others is love. Patience with self is hope. Patience with God is faith.” -Adel Bestavros (Adel Azer Bestavros (1924 - 2005))

“Men count up the faults of those who keep them waiting.” -Author Unknown: French proverb

“How poor are they who have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Othello” (1603), Act ii, Scene 3

Overheard: Thank you for your patience.

“Patience is the greatest of all virtues.” -Cato the Elder (Marcus Porcius Cato (233 B.C.E. - 148 B.C.E.))

Overheard: If I’m not back in five minutes . . . just wait longer!

“Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength.” -Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton (Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873))

“If you have been waiting for someone or something for so long that you can actually feel yourself getting older while you wait, then you know that you have been waiting too long.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“An over-taxed patience gives way to fierce anger.” [translation to English]
“Furor fit læsa sæpius patientia.” [original Latin]
-Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): “Sententiae,” Maxim 289

“Patience will come to him who waits for it.” -Author Unknown

“If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb

“Patience is a key element of success.” -Bill Gates (William Henry ‘Bill’ Gates III (born 1955))

“It is better to have a Hen to Morrow, than an Egg to Day.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2916

“There is nothing to be gained by waiting for a better situation. You see where you are and you do what you can with that.” -Jacob K. Javits (Jacob Koppel Javits (1904 - 1986))

“Patience is not simply the ability to wait. It’s how we behave while we’re waiting.” -Joyce Meyer (born 1943 as Pauline Joyce Hutchison)

“If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.” -Larry McMurtry (born 1936): “Some Can Whistle” (1989)

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” [translation to English]
“La patience est amère, mais son fruit est doux.” [original French]
-Jean Chardin (1643 - 1713): “Voyages en Perse et autres lieux de l’Orient” (1711), page 175

“Good things happen to those who wait. Better things happen to those who try.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is not the ability to wait. Patience is to be calm no matter what happens, constantly take action to turn it to positive growth opportunities, and have faith to believe that it will all work out in the end while you are waiting.” -Roy T. Bennett

“Abused Patience turns to Fury.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 757

“When you are tempted to lose patience with someone, think how patient God has been with you all the time.” -Author Unknown

“You can chase a butterfly all over the field and never catch it. But if you sit quietly in the grass it will come and sit on your shoulder.” -Author Unknown

“No great thing is created suddenly.” -Epictetus (C.E. 55 - C.E. 135)

“Patience means self-suffering.” -Mahatma Gandhi (Mohandas Karamchand ‘Mahatma’ Gandhi (1869 - 1948))

“Waiting is one thing, but when people force us to wait for an exorbitant amount of time, they are actually taking a part of our lives away from us, because time is a measure of life.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“He that can have patience can have what he will.” -Benjamin Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790)): “Poor Richard’s Almanack” (June 1736)

“Even the nicest person’s patience has a limit.” -Author Unknown

“I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.” -E. V. Lucas (Edward Verrall Lucas (1868 - 1938)): “365 Days and One More” (1926), ‘October 3’

“Patience is the art of hoping.” [translation to English]
“La patience est l’art d’espérer.” [original French]
-Luc de Clapiers, Marquis de Vauvenargues (1715 - 1747): “Réflexions” (1746), CCLI

“Patience and tenacity of purpose are worth more than twice their weight of cleverness.” -T. H. Huxley (Thomas Henry Huxley (1825 - 1895))

“Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.” -Guy Kawasaki (Guy Takeo Kawasaki (born 1954))

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.” -David G. Allen (born 1945)

“If you wait until all the lights are ‘green’ before you leave home, you’ll never get started on your trip to the top.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“When you are tempted to lose patience with God, remember how patient God has been with you.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is a virtue. The Moon and the Sun learned long ago that, if each patiently waits its turn, they will both have their chance to shine.” -Author Unknown

“Please be patient. God has not finished with me yet.” -Author Unknown

“Good things come to those who believe, better things come to those who are patient, and the best things come to those who don’t give up.” -Author Unknown

This is life’s dilemma and it is sure as fate
Some things can’t be hurried and other things can’t wait.
-Author Unknown

Overheard: Good things take time.

“Patience is the companion of wisdom.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis and Aurelius Augustine (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430))

“Your capacity for patience will be rewarded eventually.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is the ability to let your light shine after your fuse has blown.” -Bob Levey

“A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.” -George Savile (also known as Lord Halifax (1633 - 1695))

“Even a waiter finally comes to him who waits.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is the ability to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without becoming angry or upset.” -Author Unknown

“The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.” -Author Unknown

“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

The two most common meanings of patience are as follows.
1. To wait without being frustrated, angry, complaining, and so forth.
2. To understandingly bear with the faults of others.

“Impatience can cause wise people to do foolish things.” -Janette Oke (born 1935)

“I feel like I’m waiting for something that isn’t going to happen.” -Author Unknown

“Patience is a necessary ingredient of genius.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“People wait all week for Friday, all year for Summer, all of a lifetime for happiness.” -Author Unknown

“Impatience never commanded success.” -Edwin H. Chapin (Edwin Hubbell Chapin (1814 - 1880)

A little boy was standing patiently at the bottom of an escalator in a big department store. A saleswoman asked him, “Sonny, are you lost?” The boy answered, “No ma’am, I’m waiting for my chewing gum to come back.”

“The man who is waiting for something to turn up might start on his shirt sleeves.” -Garth Henrichs (Garth Harold Henrichs, Senior (1903 - 2002))

“Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. Spring will come.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

Overheard: Be patient with people - nobody is perfect.

“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

We can hardly wait to see what is coming up next . . . on MFOL!

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Lawyers

12/6/2021

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Picture of a page in a legal publication with an article titled, ‘Alton Attorney Accidentally Sues Himself.’

“What I need is a lawyer who specializes in the law of the jungle.” -Ashleigh Brilliant (Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant (born 1933))

Client, speaking to patent attorney: “I have invented a frozen pop sickle dessert treat that glows in the dark.”
Patent attorney: “Amazing! What’s the secret?”
Client: “I use the water downstream from the shiny new nuclear power plant.”

At a party for professionals, a doctor was having difficulty socializing because everyone wanted to describe their symptoms and get a diagnosis. The doctor turned to a lawyer acquaintance and asked, “How do you handle people who want advice outside of the office?” “Simple,” answered the lawyer, “I send them a bill. That stops it.” The next day, the doctor, still feeling a bit reserved about what he had just done, opened his mailbox to send the bills, and inside his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

“I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

First Lawyer: “You’re a low, lying cheat!”
Second Lawyer: “You’re an unmitigated liar!”
Judge: “Now that the attorneys have identified each other, let’s proceed.”

“How to win a case in court: If the law is on your side, pound on the law; if the facts are on your side, pound on the facts; if neither is on your side, pound on the table.” -Author Unknown

A doctor, a dentist, and an attorney were in a boat together when a wave came along and washed them overboard. Unable to get back into their capsized boat, they decided that two of them would hold on while the third would swim to shore for help. The doctor volunteered. The dentist said, “There are hundreds of sharks between here and the land. You’ll get eaten.” Without further words, the attorney took off swimming toward shore. As he swam, the sharks moved aside. The dentist said, “That’s astonishing!” The doctor said, “That’s what real professional courtesy looks like.”

“Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?” -George Carlin (George Denis Patrick Carlin (1937 - 2008))

“I am not so afraid of lawyers as I used to be. They are lambs in wolf’s clothing.” -Edna St. Vincent Millay (1892 - 1950)

A trial was about to begin. The judge asked, “Where is the defendant?” One of the jurors stood up. “I’m the defendant.” “What are you doing in the jury box?” “They brought me in with the rest of them.” The judge said, “You can’t be the defendant and be on the jury too.” The defendant smiled and said, “I figured I was a little too lucky!”

A lawyer said to one of his clients, “When I was a kid, I wanted to be a pirate!” His client replied, “Congratulations.”

“The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail, if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.” -H. L. Mencken (Henry Louis Mencken (1880 - 1956))

A small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial, who was an elderly grandmotherly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat, you manipulate people, and you talk about people behind their backs. You think you’re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.” The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?” She again replied, “Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to babysit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, slow, and he has an overeating problem. The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him.” At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench for a sidebar. In a very quiet voice, the judge said: “If either of you asks her if she knows me, I will put you in jail for contempt!”

“A judge is a lawyer who once knew a politician.” -Author Unknown

“I called my lawyer and said, ‘Can I ask you two questions?’ He said, ‘What’s the second question?’” -Author Unknown

A man called a lawyer and asked, “How much would you charge me to answer three questions?” The lawyer said, “Thirty-eight-hundred dollars.” The man said, “That’s a lot of money, isn’t it?” The lawyer answered, “I guess so. What’s your third question?”

Judge: I sentence you to thirty years in prison.
Defendant: But, judge, I won’t live that long.
Judge: Don’t worry, just do what you can.

A corporate executive received a monthly bill from the law firm that was handling a big case for his company. It included itemized hourly billings for phone calls, research, conferences, and everything but lunch hours. Unhappy as he was, the executive knew that the company would have to pay for each of these services. Then he noticed one item buried in the middle of the list: For crossing the street to talk to you, then discovering it wasn’t you at all . . . $7,615.00.

Jimbo: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Bubba: None; they would rather keep their clients in the dark.

“I’m not an ambulance chaser; I’m usually there before the ambulance.” -Melvin Belli (1907 - 1996)

Mr. Barnaby was in trouble again, and the judge asked him if he was guilty or not guilty. “Guilty, sir, I think - but I’d rather be tried so as to be sure of it.”

Have you heard about the woman who sued a restaurant after spilling a hot cup of tea on her leg and getting badly burned? The judge dismissed the case after ruling that it was only a tea-knee problem and therefore not worth the court’s consideration.

“In law, nothing is certain but the expense.” -Samuel Butler

Interviewer: And what do you do, sir?
Lawyer: I’m a criminal lawyer.
Interviewer: Aren’t they all!

Have you heard about the lawyer’s computer? No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.

“Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.” -Ambrose Bierce (Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (1842 - 1914))

Lawyer, questioning a person on the witness stand: “Were you present when your picture was taken?”

“Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. As a peacemaker, the lawyer has superior opportunity of being a good man. There will still be business enough.” -Abraham Lincoln (Abraham ‘Abe’ Lincoln (1809 - 1865))

Judge Willis: What do you suppose I am on the bench for, Mr. Smith?
F. E. Smith: It is not for me, Your Honor, to attempt to fathom the inscrutable workings of Providence.

“Lawyer: 1. A person who takes this from that, with the result that That hath not where to lay his head. 2. An unnecessary evil. 3. The only man in whom ignorance of the law is not punished.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)): “The Roycroft Dictionary and Book of Epigrams” (1923)

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they ‘garnish’ his wages?

“This is a court of law, young man, not a court of justice.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Junior (1841 - 1935)

An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, “Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your country and then sue the landowners for lots of money?” Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partner and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law. “No, no,” one replied. “We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks.”

“It is a secret worth knowing that lawyers rarely go to law.” -Moses V. Crowell

Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865), the man who would eventually become a President of the United States of America, never passed a bar exam. He was a self-taught lawyer, spending many hours reading books on the law in a time and place in which law schools were not as common as today. He received his license to practice law simply by appearing before a court and having someone testify as to the soundness of his character.

A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined. After the trial he asked the judge, “This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?” The judge said that was true. “Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?” the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action. The man turned and looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, “Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson.”

“Lawyer: one skilled in the circumvention of the law.” -Ambrose Bierce (Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (1842 - 1914))

“Sue a beggar and get a louse.” -John Clarke

“An appeal, Hennessey, is when you ask one court to show contempt for another court.” -Finley Peter Dunne [paraphrased in standard English]
“An appeal, Hinnissy, is where ye ask wan coort to show its contempt f’r another coort.” -Finley Peter Dunne (1867 - 1936): “Mr. Dooley Says” (1907), ‘The Big Fine’ [as originally worded]

“I was never ruined but twice: once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I won one.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

Lawyer: Could you see him from where you were standing?
Witness: I could see his head.
Lawyer: And where was his head?
Witness: Just above his shoulders.

“When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.” -Norm Crosby (Norman Lawrence ‘Norm’ Crosby (1927 - 2020))

“The law protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.” -Author Unknown

“Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger.” -Marcus Valerius Martialis (also known as Martial (between C.E. 38 and C.E. 41 - between C.E. 102 and C.E. 104))

“There is no shortage of lawyers in Washington, D.C. In fact, there may be more lawyers than people.” -Sandra Day O’Connor

Lawyer: All your responses must be oral, okay? Now, what school did you go to?
Defendant: Oral.

“A good lawyer knows the law, but a great lawyer knows the judge.” -Author Unknown

Signs You Might Be a Lawyer
-You are charging someone for reading these jokes.
-You believe that a forty-word-sentence is a short one.
-When your spouse says “I love you,” you cross-examine him or her.
-You can look at a contract and instantly tell whether it is verbal or written.
-You have a daughter named Sue and a son named Bill.
-When you look in a mirror, you see a lawyer.

Lawyer, questioning a person on the witness stand: “The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?”

“It is better to exist unknown to the law.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb

“We should be thankful for lawyers. If we didn’t have them, who would get us out of the trouble they got us into?” -Author Unknown

Al: What’s the difference between lawyers and buzzards?
Len: Lawyers have removable wing tips.

A lawyer, questioning a person on the witness stand, said, “Were you alone or by yourself?”

“The minute you read something that you can’t understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.” -Will Rogers (William Penn Adair ‘Will’ Rogers (1879 - 1935))

“A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000-word document and calls it a ‘brief.’” -Franz Kafka (1883 - 1924)

A lawyer, questioning a person on the witness stand, said, “How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?”

“If it weren’t for lawyers, we wouldn’t need them.” -A. K. Griffin

Lawyer: “She had three children, right?”
Witness: “Yes.”
Lawyer: “How many were boys?”
Witness: “None.”
Lawyer: “Were there any girls?”

Overheard: I have a brilliant attorney - the other day he got a parking ticket reduced to a charge of treason!

Lawyer: “You say the stairs went down to the basement?”
Defendant: “Yes.”
Lawyer: “And these stairs, did they go up also?”

“Talk is cheap - until you hire a lawyer.” -Author Unknown

A lawyer, questioning a person on the witness stand, said, “You were there until the time you left, is that true?”

Fun fact: People are not required to be lawyers to become United States Supreme Court Justices.

“It is an honorable calling that you have chosen. Some of you will soon be defending poor, helpless insurance companies who are constantly being sued by greedy, vicious widows and orphans trying to collect on their policies. Others will work tirelessly to protect frightened, beleaguered oil companies from being attacked by depraved consumer groups.” -Art Buchwald: commencement address at Tulane University School of Law (13 May 1979)

“Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.” -Charles Lamb (1775 - 1834)

“A lawyer is a learned gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it himself.” -Henry Peter Brougham (also known as Lord Brougham (1778 - 1868))

Lawyer: “Can you describe the individual?”
Witness: “He was about medium height and had a beard.”
Lawyer: “Was this person a man or a woman?”

“A lawyer will do anything to win a case; sometimes he will even tell the truth.” -Patrick Murray

“Lawyer: The larval stage of a politician.” -Author Unknown

Mr. Morris needed a lawyer, so he looked at the telephone directory and picked out a law firm called ‘Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz, and Schwartz.’ He called up and said, “Is Mr. Schwartz in?” The man said, “No, he’s out playing golf.” Morris said, “All right, then let me speak to Mr. Schwartz.” “He’s not with the firm any more, he’s retired.” “Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz.” “He’s away in Boston, and won’t be back for a month.” “Okay, then let me talk to the other Mr. Schwartz.” He said, “Speaking!”

“Lawyers: Persons with a limited knowledge of laws and a flair for the dramatic, who otherwise might have been barbers.” -Author Unknown

Lawyer: “Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?”
Witness: “No, this is just how I usually dress when I go to work.”

“A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.” -Robert Frost (Robert Lee Frost (1874 - 1963)): as quoted in “Kentucky State Bar Journal” (1962)

“Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.” -Will Rogers (William Penn Adair ‘Will’ Rogers (1879 - 1935))

And then there’s the one about the man who got sued by a lawyer . . . for telling a lawyer joke - we’re kidding!

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Manners and Etiquette

11/29/2021

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Picture of three men in formal attire tipping their hats in deference.

When people speak of ‘quaint old-fashioned manners,’ they seem as if by magic to reappear . . .

Magic Words

There are three little magic words
     That will open any door with ease.
Two little words are “Thank you!”
     And the other little word is “Please!”

by Author Unknown

Elvis: May I have an apple?
Sylvia: What is the magic word?
Elvis: Abracadabra?

“Politeness and consideration for others is like investing pennies and getting dollars back.” -Thomas Sowell (born 1930)

Too Polite

Broad met Stout
At the gate, and each
Was too polite to brush past.
“After you!” said Broad.
“After you!” said Stout.
They got in a dither
And went through together
And both
stuck
fast.

by Ian Serraillier (1912 - 1994)

“The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.” -Fred Astaire (pseudonym of Frederick Austerlitz (1899 - 1987))

Lawrence: What do well-behaved young lambs say to their mothers?
Florence: “Thank ewe!”

Al: When you yawn, you are supposed to put your hand over your mouth!
Lex: What, and get bitten?!

“Good manners and soft words have brought many a difficult thing to pass.” -John Vanbrugh (1664 - 1726)

“Etiquette is the glue that holds society together. It enables people to get along with other human beings without causing offense. It is manners, codified, or formalized. By learning a number of the various rules of etiquette, a person will eventually begin to understand the basic concept and perhaps perceive the overall underlying common thread that makes up the pattern, sometimes called ‘the Golden Rule.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Netiquette: Manners on the internet, such as not using all-caps, or all-capital letters, which is referred to as, ‘SHOUTING!’

When it comes to jokes and funny stories, before you growl, “I’ve heard that one before,” consider this: Do you stop a pianist who is playing Chopin because you have heard that musical piece before?

Overheard: Try being nice to people, even if it does scare them a little bit at first.

Three Nice Mice

Three nice mice!
     Three nice mice!
See how nice they are!
     See how nice they are!
They’re always polite when they nibble their cheese;
     They never forget to say thank you and please;
They cover their noses whenever they sneeze -
     Ahhh ahhh ahhh-choo! (pretend sneeze)
Three nice mice!
     Three nice mice!

by Author Unknown: can be sung to the same melody as that of “Three Blind Mice”

Etiquette and manners vary greatly geographically, culturally, religiously, and by economic classes all around the world. There are even variations by generation or age, gender, trade or profession, subculture, other group identity, and other factors. ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do’ is an old proverb that means one should respect and follow local laws, customs, and manners.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Elbows.
Elbows, who?
Elbows off the table, please!

“Good manners will often take people where neither money nor education will take them.” -Author Unknown

“Manners make man.” [translation to Modern English]
“Manners makyth man.” [original Middle English]
-William of Wykeham (1320 - 1404); adopted as the motto of Winchester College and New College in Oxford, England

Overheard: Politeness is an inexpensive way of making friends.

“Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without comment is a wonderful social grace.” -Miss Manners (Judith Martin (born 1938))

“I don’t recall your name, but your manners are familiar.” -Oliver Herford (1863 - 1935)

“He was so generally civil, that nobody thanked him for it.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“Hail the small sweet courtesies of life, for smooth do they make the road of it.” -Laurence Sterne (1713 - 1768)

“Manners are of more importance than laws. Manners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, barbarize or refine us, by a constant, steady, uniform, insensible operation, like that of the air we breathe in.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

Mabel: What person do you always take your hat off to?
Abel: The barber.

“Something happens inside of us when we are courteous and deferential toward others. It is all part of a refining process, which if persisted in, will change our very natures.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

Overheard: Be polite to the aged, because you will be one of them soon enough yourself - if you are fortunate.

Picture of a yellow smiley face and the words, ‘Courtesy Is Contagious, Spread It Around, A Message From, www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“Nothing is ever lost by courtesy. It is the cheapest of the pleasures; costs nothing and conveys much. It pleases him who gives and him who receives, and thus, like mercy, is twice blessed.” -Erastus Wiman (1834 - 1904): “Chances of Success” (1893)

“Good manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.” -Bennett Cerf (1898 - 1971)

“We must recall the most humanitarian guideline of all: be polite. Being polite is possibly the greatest daily contribution everyone can make to life on Earth.” -Caitlin Moran: “How to be a Woman” (16 June 2011)

Jimmy: Don’t you want to be well-mannered and polite?
Jenny: No, thank you!

“Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.” -Author Unknown

Do you recall those quaint old customs and manners of yesteryear? Tip your hats to the ladies, gentlemen. Girls curtsy, and boys bow. A gentleman always has a handkerchief to offer to a lady. A lady drops her handkerchief so that a gentleman can pick it up and hand it to her, a ruse used by the lady to get the gentleman to say a word to her. Gentlemen had calling cards, which they would leave so that people could contact them later. People smiled at strangers as they passed, and often greeted them, as for example, saying, “How do you do?” Well, don’t be sad at their passing - times haven’t changed so much - what’s old can be new again; all it takes is for you to demonstrate the newer versions of these acts yourself when opportunities avail themselves to you, and continue doing them until others begin to emulate you.

“Good manners are just a way of showing other people that we have respect for them.” -Bill Kelly

“One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))

“Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.” -Clarence Thomas (born 1948)

“Should you happen to notice that another person is extremely tall or overweight, eats too much or declines convivial drinks, has red hair, or goes about in a wheelchair, ought to get married or ought not to be pregnant - see if you can refrain from bringing these astonishing observations to that person’s attention.” -Miss Manners (Judith Martin (born 1938)), as quoted in William Safire and Leonard Safir: “Words of Wisdom: More Good Advice” (1989)

“Your mood should not dictate your manners.” -Author Unknown

“Associate with well-manner persons and your manners will improve. Run around with decent folk and your own decent instincts will be strengthened.” -Stanley Walker (1898 - 1962)

“Life is not so short but that there is always time enough for courtesy.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882): “Letters and Social Aims” (1876)

“Politeness is the art of choosing among one’s real thoughts.” -Madame de Staël (Anna Maria Louis Germaine Necker (1766 - 1817)): as quoted in Abel Stevens (1815 - 1897): “Madame de Staël” (1881)

“Politeness is a sign of dignity, not subservience.” -Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919)

“A man has no more right to say an uncivil thing than to act one; no more right to say a rude thing to another than to knock him down.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“A Man without Ceremony has need of great Merit in its Place.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 315

“Manners easily and rapidly mature into morals.” -Horace Mann (1796 - 1859)

“I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners. I don’t like them myself. They’re pretty bad. I grieve over them on long Winter evenings.” -Humphrey Bogart (Humphrey DeForest ‘Bogey’ Bogart (1899 - 1957))

“Politeness makes one appear outwardly as they should be within.” -Jean de la Bruyère (1645 - 1696)

“Visitors should behave in such a way that the host and hostess feel at home.” -J. S. Farynski (Jerzy Stanislaw Farynski)

“He is the very pineapple of politeness!” -Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751 - 1816)

“The knowledge of courtesy and good manners is a very necessary study. It is like grace and beauty, that which begets liking and an inclination to love one another at the first sight.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)): “Essais” (“Essays”) (1595), Book 1, chapter 7

“Politeness costs nothing and gains everything.” -Mary Montagu (Mary Wortley Montagu (1689 - 1762)): letter (30 May 1756) to Mary, Countess of Bute

“Every generation is convinced there has been a deplorable breakdown of manners.” -Byron Dobell (1927 - 2017)

“Politeness is the flower of humanity.” -Joseph Joubert (1754 - 1824)

“Good manners sometimes means simply putting up with other people’s bad manners.” -H. Jackson Brown (Harriett Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940))

“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” -Emily Post (1873 - 1960): as attributed in Matthew Gara: “Hey! Let’s Talk It Over” (1967)

“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983): “The Passionate State of Mind” (1955)

“All Doors open to Courtesy.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 512

“To be a successful hostess, when guests arrive say, ‘At last!’ and when they leave say, ‘So soon!’” -Author Unknown

“Being nice to someone you dislike doesn’t mean you’re fake. It means you are mature enough to tolerate your dislike towards them.” -Author Unknown

“We cannot always oblige, but we can always speak obligingly.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Fine manners need the support of fine manners in others.” -Douglas Jerrold (Douglas William Jerrold (1803 - 1857))

“Good manners must be inspired by the good heart. There is no beautifier of complexion, or form, or behavior, like the wish to scatter joy and not pain around us.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“Anyone can be polite to a king. It takes a gentleman to be polite to a beggar.” -Author Unknown

“True politeness consists in being easy one’s self, and in making every one about one as easy as one can.” -Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744)

“Etiquette is all human social behavior. If you’re a hermit on a mountain, you don’t have to worry about etiquette; if somebody comes up the mountain, then you’ve got a problem. It matters because we want to live in reasonably harmonious communities.” -Miss Manners (Judith Martin (born 1938))

“The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones.” -Gabirol (Solomon Ibn Gabirol (about 1022 - 1058))

“We’ve learned to dress for success, to speak for success. Now we need to learn how to behave for success.” -Marjabelle Young Stewart (1924 - 2007)

“Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“To sleep when others speak, to sit when others stand, to walk on when others stay, to speak when one should hold his peace, or hear others, are all things of ill manners.” -Francis Hawkins (1628 - 1624)

“Politeness is benevolence in small things.” -Author Unknown

Manners

We say, “Thank you.”
     We say, “Please.”
We don’t interrupt or tease.
     We don’t argue. We don’t fuss.
We listen when folks talk to us.
     We share our toys and take our turn.
Good manners aren’t too hard to learn.
     It’s really easy, when you find
Good manners means
     Just being kind!

by Author Unknown

“You can get through life with bad manners, but it’s easier with good manners.” -Lillian Gish

“Politeness is to do and say the nicest thing in the nicest way.” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . where ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ are magic words . . .

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Mountains and Hills

11/22/2021

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Picture of a man with a backpack hiking in a hilly and mountainous area.

“When life gets tangled, there’s something so reassuring about climbing a mountain.” -Stacy Allison

Jack: Why are mountains funny?
Jill: Because they are hill-arious!

“Every mountain top is within reach if you just keep climbing.” -Barry Finlay

Overheard: I would go and hike the hills . . . if only I were a little boulder!

“When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top.” -Author Unknown

No hill’s too steep
No mountain’s too tall
With hope and Faith
You can conquer them all.
-Helen Steiner Rice

“Live your life each day as you would climb a mountain. An occasional glance towards the summit keeps the goal in mind, but many beautiful scenes are to be observed from each new vantage point.” -Harold B. Melchart

“Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble.” -Author Unknown

“The experienced mountain climber is not intimidated by a mountain - he is inspired by it. The persistent winner is not discouraged by a problem - he is challenged by it. Mountains are created to be conquered; adversities are designed to be defeated; problems are sent to be solved. It is better to master one mountain than a thousand foothills.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“If you want to climb mountains, first practice on small hills.” -Author Unknown

The mountain with the longest name, at 85 letters in length, is Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu in New Zealand.

“Mountains cannot be surmounted except by winding paths.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“The man at the top of a mountain didn’t just fall there.” -Author Unknown

What is the difference between a mountain and a hill? A hill is a landform that is higher than the surrounding terrain and that is smaller than a mountain. Mountains were once defined as having steeper sides than hills and being more than 304.8 meters (1,000 feet) in height; however, this definition is no longer the generally accepted standard. At present, the only established difference between a hill and a mountain is that a hill becomes a mountain when someone names it as such.

“When there’s a hill to climb, don’t think that waiting will make it smaller.” -H. Jackson Brown

The world’s smallest recorded mountain is Mount Wychproof in Australia’s Terrick Terrick Range, and it stands 148 meters (486 feet) above sea level. Imagine, if you will, a mountain so very nearly tiny that a genetically-modified super-sized kangaroo can jump over it in a single bound.

Due to gravity, mountains on Earth can be no higher than about 15,000 meters (about 590,550 feet).

“When you help someone up a hill, you’re that much nearer the top yourself.” -Author Unknown

Mount Everest peaks at Earth’s highest-known land elevation above sea level. The mountain’s enormity was first declared in 1856 by a team assembled by India’s Surveyor General, who was also the mountain’s eponym, a British man named George Everest, who never actually saw the mountain. The official height of Mount Everest is 8,848.86 meters (29,032 feet) above sea level. By other measures, Mount Everest is 8.9 kilometers (5.5 miles) high. But wait, there’s more - due to the Earth’s shifting tectonic plates, Mount Everest appears to be growing taller by an astounding 4 to 5 millimeters every year!

“Because it’s there.” -G. H. L. Mallory (George Herbert Leigh Mallory (1886 - 1924)): explaining why he wanted to climb Mount Everest, when asked on an American lecture tour (1923), as quoted in John Hunt: “The Ascent of Everest” (1953) and D. Robertson (David Allan Robertson): “George Mallory” (1999)

Mount Everest is located in the Himalayas, the tallest and fastest growing group of mountains on Earth. Their growth is caused by the pressure exerted by two of Earth’s tectonic plates, called the Eurasian plate and the Indo-Australian plate, which collided millions of years ago and are still pushing against one another.

Evelyn: What was the tallest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered?
Madelyn: Mount Everest.

The Himalayas cover about one-tenth of the Earth’s surface.

Great things are done when men and mountains meet;
This is not done by jostling in the street.
-William Blake (1757 - 1827): “Gnomic Verses”

Mount Everest is the tallest mountain on land; however, the tallest mountain on Earth, measured from its base deep in the Pacific Ocean to its lofty peak way up in the clouds, is a dormant volcano that frequently has snow and skiers atop it, named Mauna Kea in the American state of Hawaii, measuring a total of 33,474 feet tall. We’re going to need underwater breathing apparatuses and more climbing rope.

“You can’t fall if you don’t climb. But there’s no joy in living your whole life on the ground.” -Author Unknown

Some of the tallest mountains in the world are completely underwater, so you would not climb them to reach their peaks, but lower yourself to them in a submersible vessel.

The tallest mountain in the solar system is Olympus Mons on Mars, at about 15.5 miles tall. By comparison, Earth’s Mount Everest is about 5.5 miles tall.

“One cannot climb a mountain by a level road.” -Author Unknown: Norwegian proverb

A mountain on the Earth’s Moon, named Mons Huygens, stands about 4,572 meters (15,000 feet) tall. It will remain on the Moon only until we can build a spacecraft big enough to bring it back to Earth.

“One may walk over the highest mountain one step at a time.” -John Wanamaker (1838 - 1922)

Meanwhile in Scotland, both mountains and hills go by the name ‘hills.’

Picture of mountains with trees at their base, the Sun rising over the mountains, and the words, ‘Head for the Hills!’

“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.” -John Muir (1838 - 1914): “Our National Parks” (1901) ‘The Yellowstone National Park’

“In the mountains, the shortest way is from peak to peak; but for that you must have long legs.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“We live on an astounding planet, punctuated by mountains on every continent. The mere presence of mountain ranges has long drawn the human imagination as an invisible force. Some say mountains have a ‘psychic gravity’ enticing us into their grip. There is a magic among great peaks as a location of splendor, where changing light plays games with intense colors, affecting the tones of snow and ice and many gleaming ridge outlines.” -Fred Beckey (Friedrich Wolfgang ‘Fred’ Beckey (1923 - 2017)): “Fred Beckey’s 100 Favorite North American Climbs” (2011)

“It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out; it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.” -Robert W. Service (Robert William Service (1874 - 1958))

“The great mountains of the world are a great remedy, if men but did know it, against our modern discontent and ambitions. In the hills is wisdom’s fount. They are deep in time.” -E. R. Eddison (Eric Rücker Eddison (1882 - 1945))

“One sunny Wednesday afternoon [Mother] took me to Peel Park. We sat on a high esplanade and looked far over the countless chimneys of northern Manchester to the horizon. On the skyline, green and aloof, the Pennines rose like the ramparts of paradise. ‘There!’ she said, pointing. ‘Mountains!’ I stared, lost for words.” -Robert Roberts (1906 - 1974): “A Ragged Schooling” (1976)

“The mountain cannot frighten one who was born on it.” -Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller (1759 - 1805): “Wilhelm Tell” (1803), Act III, scene i

“You cannot stay on the summit forever; you have to come down again. So why bother in the first place? Just this: What is above knows what is below, but what is below does not know what is above. One climbs, one sees. One descends, one sees no longer, but one has seen. There is an art of conducting oneself in the lower regions by the memory of what one saw higher up. When one can no longer see, one can at least still know.” -Rene Daumal

“Mountaineers are always free.” [translation to English]
“Montani semper liberi.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown

“Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you are climbing it.” -Andy Rooney (Andrew Aitken ‘Andy’ Rooney (1919 - 2011))

“Mountains are climbed one step at a time.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Whatever the struggle, continue the climb. It may be only one step to the summit.” -Diane Westlake

“If you can’t climb the highest mountain any more, go to the closest hill. It is better than staying at the bottom thinking you can’t do it.” -Nico J. Genes

“The best view comes after the hardest climb.” -Author Unknown

“Climb the mountain . . . so you can see the world, not so the world can see you.” -David McCullouga, Junior

“These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.” -Najwa Zebian (born about 1990)

“Mountain climbing: scalesmanship.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“It’s easier to go down a hill than up it, but the view is much better at the top.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887)

“The higher the mountains, the more understandable is the glory of Him who made them and who holds them in His hand.” -Francis Schaeffer

Edmund Percival Hillary and Tenzing Norgay were the first people recorded to have reached Mount Everest’s summit, on 29 May 1953, as part of a team led by John Hunt.

“When Sir Edmund Hillary made the first conquest of Mt. Everest in 1953, his Sherpa bearers were almost all barefooted, even well above the snow line.” -Richard Frazine (Richard Keith Frazine (born 1947)): “The Barefoot Hiker” (1993)

“It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.” -Edmund Hillary (Edmund Percival Hillary (1919 - 2008)): as quoted in “Reader’s Digest” (1993)

Monty: What did the climber say after reaching the top of the mountain?
Mandy: It’s all downhill from here!

“If you do not scale the mountain, you cannot view the plain.” -Author Unknown

Any American citizen can give whatever name the person chooses to any unnamed mountain or hill in the United States - if he or she can find one.

“A lot of us would like to move mountains, but few of us are willing to practice on small hills.” -Author Unknown

“If you don’t climb the mountain, you can’t see the view.” -Author Unknown

“Climbing is a unique sport presenting mental and physical stress that you learn to overcome by operating close to your limits. Sometimes your limits are higher than you realize. Of course you recognize your limits in climbing by falling off the rock.” -Eric G. Anderson

“To the summit.” [translation to English]
“Ad alta.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown

“God gives us mountains so we can learn how to climb.” -Author Unknown

“The mountains are fountains of men as well as of rivers, of glaciers, and of fertile soil. The great poets, philosophers, prophets, able men whose thoughts and deeds have moved the world, have come down from the mountains.” -John Muir (1838 - 1914)

“No one ever climbed a hill by just looking at it.” -Author Unknown

“Mountains never shake hands. Their roots may touch - they may keep together some way up - but at length they part company, and rise into individual peaks. So is it with great men.” -J. C. and A. W. Hare (Julius Charles Hare (1795 - 1855) and Augustus William Hare (1792 - 1834))

“Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, so . . . get on your way!” -Dr. Seuss (pseudonym of Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 - 1991)): “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” (1990)

“Men do not stumble over mountains, but over molehills.” -Confucius (also known as K’ung Fu-tzu or K’ung Ch’iu (about 551 B.C.E. - about 479 B.C.E.))

“Only if you’ve been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.” -Richard Nixon (Richard Milhous Nixon (1913 - 1994)): speech (9 August 1974)

Chester: What’s funnier, mountain ranges or beaches?
Caroline: Mountains, of course - they’re ‘hill areas’!

“Somewhere between the bottom of the climb and the summit is the answer to the mystery of why we climb.” -Greg Child

“You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you’ve climbed a mountain.” -Tom Hiddleston

“The mountains are calling and I must go.” -John Muir (1838 - 1914)

We are MFOL! . . . now let us all go out there and hike every hill and climb every mountain . . .

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Continuing and Progressing

11/12/2021

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Picture of a below-ground stairway leading up to the surface where the Sun shines in a blue sky.

To reach a goal, we must continue onward . . . standing still and wishing accomplishes nothing . . .

“Happiness and self-confidence come naturally when you feel yourself moving and progressing toward becoming the very best person you can possibly be.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“I’ve always tried to go a step past wherever people expected me to end up.” -Beverly Sills (1929 - 2007)

“Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.” -Plato (about 427 B.C.E. - about 347 B.C.E.): “Sophist” (360 B.C.E.)

“We should not only make progress but we should keep happy and harmonious.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1848 - 1924)): “How to Get What You Want” (1917)

“The power of a man increases steadily by continuing in one direction.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“It is those who concentrate on but one thing at a time who advance in this world.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“By the time it came to the edge of the Forest the stream had grown up, so that it was almost a river, and, being grown-up, it did not run and jump and sparkle along as it used to do when it was younger, but moved more slowly. For it knew now where it was going, and it said to itself, ‘There is no hurry. We shall get there some day.’” -A. A. Milne (Alan Alexander Milne (1882 - 1956)): “The House at Pooh Corner” (1928): Chapter Six

“It does not matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop.” -Confucius (also known as K’ung Fu-tzu or K’ung Ch’iu (about 551 B.C.E. - about 479 B.C.E.))

“In all things that are purely social we can be as separate as the fingers, yet one as the hand in all things essential to mutual progress.” -Booker T. Washington (Booker Taliaferro Washington (1856 - 1915))

“No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.” -Author Unknown

“I make progress by having people around me who are smarter than I am - and listening to them. And I assume that everyone is smarter about something than I am.” -Henry J. Kaiser (Henry John Kaiser (1882 - 1967))

“All progress has resulted from people who took unpopular positions. All change is the result of a change in the contemporary state of mind. Don’t be afraid of being out of tune with your environment, and above all pray God that you are not afraid to live, to live hard and fast. To my way of thinking, it is not the years in your life but the life in your years that count in the long run. You’ll have more fun, you’ll do more and you’ll get more, you’ll give more satisfaction the more you know, the more you have worked, and the more you have lived. For yours is a great adventure at a stirring time in the annals of men.” -Adlai Stevenson (Adlai Ewing Stevenson II (1900 - 1965))

“I didn’t come this far to only come this far.” -Author Unknown

“In the final analysis, there is no solution to man’s progress but the day’s honest work, the day’s honest decisions, the day’s generous utterances, and the day’s good deed.” -Clare Boothe Luce (1903 -1987)

“Yield not to misfortunes but advance all the more boldly against them.” -Vergil (Publius Vergilius Maro (70 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.))

“All experiences of life seems to prove that the impediments thrown in the way of the human advancement may for the most part be overcome by steady good conduct, honest zeal, activity, perseverance, and above all, by a determined resolution to surmount difficulties and stand up manfully against misfortune.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904): “Self-Help” (1859)

“Be content with what you have, but never with what you are.” -Author Unknown

“There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime but I’m afraid it’s heading in the wrong direction.” -Ogden Nash (Frederick Ogden ‘Ogden’ Nash (1902 - 1971))

“Experience teaches that men are often so much governed by what they are accustomed to see and practice, that the simplest and most obvious improvements, in the most ordinary occupations, are adopted with hesitation, reluctance, and by slow gradations.” -Alexander Hamilton (1755 or 1757 - 1804)

“Progress in every age results only from the fact that there are some men and women who refuse to believe that what they know to be right cannot be done.” -Russell W. Davenport

“Victory is won not in miles but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later, win a little more.” -Louis L’Amour (born Louis Dearborn LaMoore (1908 - 1988))

“Results happen over time, not overnight. Work hard, stay consistent, and be patient.” -Author Unknown

“Take pride in how far you have come, have faith in how far you can go.” -Author Unknown

“Keep on going, and chances are that you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something sitting down.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you’ll be able to see farther.” -J. P. Morgan (John Pierpont Morgan, Senior (1837 - 1913))

“If you get stuck, get away from your desk. Take a walk, take a bath, go to sleep, make a pie, draw, listen to music, meditate, exercise; whatever you do, don’t just stick there scowling at the problem. But don’t make telephone calls or go to a party; if you do, other people’s words will pour in where your lost words should be. Open a gap for them, create a space. Be patient.” -Hilary Mantel

“Do not let time pass without accomplishing something. Otherwise you will regret it when your hair turns gray.” -Yue Fei (C.E. 1103 - C.E. 1141)

“You are not judged by the height you have risen, but from the depth you have climbed.” -Frederick Douglass (pseudonym of Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey (1817 - 1895)): “Life and Times of Frederick Douglass” (1881); type of work: autobiography

“Great ideas are the fuel of progress. Act on your ideas. Ideas in action solve problems, achieve goals and, as much as anything can, assure a happy life.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

Picture drawn on a chalkboard of a person climbing a set of stairs, with the words, ‘What’s Next?’ at the top of the stairs.

The question on everybody’s mind is, ‘What’s next?’

“The blessed work of helping the world forward, happily does not wait to be done by perfect men.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans (1819 - 1880)): “Scenes of Clerical Life” (1858), ‘Janet’s Repentance,’ Chapter 10

“Our business in life is not to get ahead of other people, but to get ahead of ourselves.” -Maltbie Davenport Babcock (1858 - 1901)

“At first people refuse to believe that a strange new thing can be done. Then they begin to hope it can be done. Then they see it can be done. Then it is done and all the world wonders why it was not done centuries ago.” -Frances Hodgson Burnett (Frances Eliza Hodgson Burnett (1849 - 1924))

“Progress is not created by contented people.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“Emergencies have always been necessary to progress. It was darkness which produced the lamp. It was fog that produced the compass. It was hunger that drove us to exploration. And it took a depression to teach us the real value of a job.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“Strive for progress, not perfection.” -Author Unknown

“The course of true anything never does run smooth.” -Samuel Butler (1613 - 1680)

“If the world ever advances beyond what it is today, it must be led by men who express their real opinions.” -Robert G. Ingersoll (Robert Green ‘Bob’ Ingersoll (1833 - 1899))

“Standing still is the fastest way of moving backwards in a rapidly changing world.” -Lauren Bacall (born 1924)

“I may not be there yet, but I’m closer than I was yesterday.” -Author Unknown

“Following-through is the only thing that separates dreamers from people that accomplish great things.” -Gene Hayden

“All progress is based on a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.” -Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902)

“You are making progress if each mistake is a new one.” -Author Unknown

“He who moves not forward goes backward.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Sometimes we have one thing we have left undone which occupies our minds so completely that we cannot do all of the other many things we also must do. It seems that only if we deliberately take the time and effort to accomplish that one thing which blocks all other progress, can we then move on to accomplish all of the many other things we need to do. Sometimes it is simply a chore or talking to one specific person about some specific matter.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“It is by those who have suffered that the world has been advanced.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910))

“When we feel stuck, going nowhere - even starting to slip backward - we may actually be backing up to get a running start.” -Dan Millman (Daniel Jay ‘Dan’ Millman (born February 1946))

“The distance a person goes is not as important as the direction.” -Author Unknown

“It is by tiny steps that we ascend [to] the stars.” -Jack Leedstrom

“Little by little, one travels far.” -J. R. R. Tolkien (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien (1892 - 1973))

“The most important thing is not where we are but where we are going.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“We all want progress, but if you’re on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn, and walking back to the right road.” -C. S. Lewis (Clive Staples Lewis (1898 - 1963))

“Not to go back is somewhat to advance.” -Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.))

“Success each day should be judged by the seeds sown, not the harvest reaped.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.” -James Thurber (1894 - 1961)

“Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things ready-made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends anymore.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (Antoine Marie Jean-Baptiste Roger (1900 - 1944))

“Men have learned to travel farther and faster, though on errands not conspicuously improved. This, I believe, is called progress.” -Willis Fisher

“There was that law of life, so cruel and so just, that one must grow or else pay more for remaining the same.” -Norman Mailer (born 1923)

“Every moment of one’s existence, one is growing into more or retreating into less.” -Norman Mailer (born 1923)

“Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still.” -Author Unknown

“If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears.” -Glenn Clark

“Whatever one man is capable of imagining, other men will prove themselves capable of realizing.” -Jules Verne

“We do more talking progress than we do progressing.” -Will Rogers (William Penn Adair ‘Will’ Rogers (1879 - 1935)): as quoted in Ben Yagoda: “Will Rogers: A Biography” (1993)

“It does not matter how long it takes you as long as you never give up.” -Author Unknown

“Nothing so obstinately stands in the way of all sorts of progress as pride of opinion; while nothing is so foolish and baseless.” -Josiah Gilbert Holland (1819 - 1881)

“Stop this Progress!” -H. G. Wells (Herbert George Wells): “Things to Come” movie; line spoken by fictional character Theotocopulos

“Where will you be in five years? Develop a plan, and then activate that plan to put yourself where you want to be in five years. Be sure to update your five-year plan at least annually in order to stay ahead of the game.” -Tom Hopkins (born 1944)

“We conquer - not in any brilliant fashion - we conquer by continuing.” -George Matheson (1842 - 1906)

“The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can’t be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)): as quoted in Evan Esar: “The Treasury of Humorous Quotations” (1951), page 103

“I may not be where I want to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be.” -Joyce Meyer (born 1943 as Pauline Joyce Hutchison)

“In order to get from what was to what will be, you must go through what is.” -Author Unknown

“And gain is gain, however small.” -Robert Browning (1812 - 1889)

“The issue of time is not what we have done but what we have become. It soon becomes apparent that the critical element is progress, not longevity. The question is not how much time we have logged, but how far we have progressed.” -Dallin H. Oaks (Dallin Harris Oaks (born 1932))

“All that is human must retrograde if it does not advance.” -Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794)

“Whatever there be of progress in life comes not through adaptation but through daring.” -Henry Miller (Henry Valentine Miller (1891 - 1980))

“Not to go back is somewhat to advance.” -Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744)

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” -George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950): “Man and Superman” (1903), ‘Maxims for Revolutionists’; type of work: play

“I may not be there yet, but I’m on my way!” -Author Unknown

“All progress occurs because people dare to be different.” -Harry Milner

“Do your best every day, and your life will gradually expand into satisfying fullness.” -Horotio W. Dresser (Horatio Willis Dresser (1866 - 1954))

We are MFOL! . . . Onward and Upward! . . . now that’s progress . . .

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Clowning and Clowns

11/9/2021

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Picture of a father and son clown duo standing next to a wooden fence, with leafy green trees in the background.

Chuckles the Clown: Why did Jolly the Clown cross the road?
Giggles the Clown: To be funny on the other side!

Baggy Trousers

Baggy trousers
     Nose, bright red,
A silly hat
     Upon his head.
Squirting flower
     Spinning tie,
A teardrop falling
     From his eye.
Elastic braces
     Going twang,
His car exploding
     With a bang!
A patchwork coat
     Those flapping shoes,
A painted smile
     To chase the blues.
Making us laugh
     And banish that frown,
The simple duties
     Of a clown.

by Pip the Clown (written for Bluey the Clown)

A man went to a doctor, and said, “Doc, sometimes I feel like a clown - what should I do?” The doctor replied, “Don’t worry, it’s nothing serious!”

Sarah: What are clown suits made from?
Matilda: Polyjester.

Picture of a woman clown with hula hoops and a man clown riding a unicycle.

Happy clowns bring happiness wherever they are seen, and not the horrors of the creepy clowns that make people fearful or the depression of the sad clowns that make people feel bad. True clowns perform for the benefit of others; they spread joy. Send in the happy clowns!

“Yesterday, a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.” -Author Unknown

Peachy the Clown: How does Jokey the Clown like her eggs?
Pinky the Clown: Funny side up!

The word ‘clown’ is possibly derived from the Icelandic word ’klunni’ meaning ‘clumsy person.’

Laughy the Clown: Why does Snoozy the Clown wear loud socks?
Smiley the Clown: So his feet won’t fall asleep!

There are believed to be more than 20,000 clowns in the world today. The most famous ones have their faces painted onto chicken eggs or goose eggs, which are then displayed in collections in the United Kingdom and the United States of America. The tradition was started in the United Kingdom in about 1946.

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A Prayer for Clowns

God bless all clowns
Who star in the world with laughter
Who ring the rafters with flying jest,
Who make the world spin merry on its way
And somehow add more beauty to each day.

God bless all clowns
So poor the world would be
Lacking their piquant, hilarity,
The belly laughs, the ringing lovely mirth
That makes a friendly place of Earth.

God bless all clowns -
Give them a long good life.
Make bright their way - they’re a breed apart!
Alchemists most, who turn their hearts’ pain
Into a dazzling jest to lift the heart.
God bless all clowns.

by Author Unknown

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The nickname for a clown is a Joey, after the English actor, comedian, dancer, and pantomime performer Joseph Grimaldi (1778 - 1837).

“But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.” -Carl Sagan

Do clowns wear really big socks?

Picture of the soles or bottoms of a person’s feet painted to look like clown faces, with red noses held on by rubber bands, and each toe whimsically painted a different color.

If you’ve ever wondered what’s inside the really big clown shoes . . . well, now you know!

Jess: I’d like to take over the clown’s job!
Jeff: Those are some mighty big shoes to fill!

National Clown Week was signed into law on 2 August 1971 by American President Richard Milhous Nixon. It has since become International Clown Week, and is observed from 1 August to 7 August of every year.

There are too many different types of clowns to list them all, but here are a few of them -
- Birthday party clowns
- Carnival clowns
- Circus clowns
- Commercial clowns
- Event clowns
- Random clowns
- Rodeo clowns
- Street performer clowns
- Visiting clowns
What kind of clown would you like to be?

In the early 1970’s, an American doctor named Hunter Doherty ‘Patch’ Adams started the practice of clowning for patients in hospitals, which helps patients recover faster and lightens the gloominess often associated with hospital stays.

Picture of a clown standing on the shoulders of another clown as they are about to do a stunt on a springboard, while an audience watches.

Signs That You Might Be a Clown
- You attract crowds wherever you go.
- People compliment you on your big shoes, bright-red nose, and painted-on smile.
- You share your ‘home on wheels’ with a trained seal, a fortune teller, a trapeze artist, and a magician.
- You spend every free minute practicing your routine - in fact, you do not have a moment to spare in your life.
- You have been to more birthday parties than the “Happy Birthday” song has.
- You put sprinkles on everything: ice cream, chicken soup, oatmeal - and you have even thought about putting sprinkles on sprinkles.
- Even your name draws smiles and laughs.
- You will cry yourself to sleep tonight because you think you did not make enough people happy today.
- When someone says he would like to be clown, you are tempted to tell the person, “You might think that being a clown is just fun all day, but many hours of hard work go with the job.” But you don’t, and instead, you do something silly.
- You cannot imagine any other kind of life.

Gladys: I’m starting a clown shoe business.
Candice: That will be no small feat.

Are you a clown? Are you a clown costume maker? Are you a clown school operator? Do you write skits for clowns? Are you a talent agent who helps clowns find gigs? Do you make portrait paintings of clowns? Do you sell clown supplies? Are you in any way associated with clowning and clowns? If so, you probably need a website to let people know. Visit www.Weebly.com to find out how you can make a website without a whole lot of difficulty or cost. Be sure to let them know you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Picture of 2 rodeo clowns distracting a bull so the rider it just threw off its back can try to get up off the ground and make a run for safety.

A big part of the rodeo clowns’ job is to distract agitated beasts so that thrown horse riders and thrown bull riders can make it to safety without being trampled, chomped, butted, or gored by the animals. Rodeo clowns also do comedy routines to keep crowds entertained between competitions. If you feel comfortable around large animals and you know something about animal nature, and if you want to live a life of danger and have people laugh at you, become a rodeo clown!

Margaret: What protects clowns from the sun?
Maggie: The Bozone layer!

Holy Trinity Church in London, England is dedicated to clowns. The church has a stained-glass window depicting Joseph Grimaldi, who was a major influence on modern clowning. It also has an altar rail where clowns can kneel and pray, and a clowns gallery with items from famous clowns. Once a year, clowns from all over the world attend Holy Trinity Church in makeup and costume for a special service, asking God’s blessing on all clowns everywhere. Holy Trinity Church is in a section of London often described as economically depressed, and the citizens are pleased that clowns have their church in an area where laughter is needed the most.

A Clown’s Blessing

May your nose be red and shiny,
     And your smile always bright.
May your cheeks be nice and rosy,
     Your eyes sparkle in the light.
May your shoes be always too big,
     Your costume be perma-pressed,
Your heart overflow with laughter,
     Each time you’re clownishly dressed.
May face paint be at the ready,
     And your balloons be ‘easy-blow.’
May children run to greet you,
     Wherever you may go.

by Author Unknown

Overheard: I’ve often wondered what shoe store clowns go to.

Picture of 5 happy smiling clowns posing as their group photograph is taken.

Sunny the Clown: Where was Jelly the Clown when the lights went out?
Sparkles the Clown: In the dark!

Founded by Herb Metz in 1983, the World Clown Association is an organization for clowns, jugglers, magicians, and face painters. They hold annual conventions, mainly in the United States. They have scholarships for people interested in attending clowning schools, personal liability insurance, and a newsletter. For the location and date of the next clown convention and more visit https://worldclown.com/.

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The Clown’s Prayer

As I stumble through this life,
     help me to create more laughter than tears,
dispense more happiness than gloom,
     spread more cheer than despair.

Never let me become so indifferent
     that I will fail to see
the wonders in the eyes of a child,
     or the twinkle in the eyes of the aged.

Never let me forget that my total effort
     is to cheer people, make them happy,
and forget momentarily,
     all the unpleasantness in their lives.

And in my final moment,
     may I hear You whisper:
“When you made My people smile,
     you made Me smile.”

by Author Unknown

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Anna: Which clown wears the biggest shoes?
Hannah: The one with the biggest feet, of course!

Now back to even more clowning around . . . on MFOL!

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Happiness

11/9/2021

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Picture of a happy black and white dog with is front paws resting on a fence as it watches soap bubbles floating in the air.

Find your happy place . . .

“There is always something to be happy about.” -Author Unknown

Cheerfulness

I’m glad the sky is painted blue
And the Earth is painted green
And such a lot of nice fresh air
All sandwiched in between.

by Author Unknown

“On the whole, the happiest people seem to be those who have no particular cause for being happy except that they are so.” -William R. Inge (William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954))

“A happy life is built up of little clumps of violets noticed along the roadside.” -Author Unknown

“The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719): as quoted in Tryon Edwards: “A Dictionary of Thoughts” (1908), page 217

“You have it easily in your power to increase the total sum of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

“Happiness is a choice.” -Barry Neill Kaufman (born 1942) at http://www.barryneilkaufman.com/

“Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.” -Aeschylus (about 525 B.C.E. - about 456 B.C.E.): “Agamemnon,” 928

“Happiness seems made to be shared.” [translation to English]
“Le bonheur semble fait pour être partagé.” [original French]
-Pierre Corneille (1606 - 1684): “Notes par Rochefoucauld”

“Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect; it just means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.” -Author Unknown

“Happiness walks on busy feet.” -Kitte Turmell

“A lot of happiness is overlooked because it doesn’t cost anything.” -Author Unknown

“Whoever is happy will make others happy too.” -Anne Frank (Annelies Marie ‘Anne’ Frank (1929 - 1945)): “The Diary of a Young Girl” (1952)

“It’s being so cheerful as keeps me going.” -Mona Lott’s catchphrase on “ITMA” (1939 - 1949), a BBC radio program; Mona Lott is a fictional character portrayed by Joan Harben (1909 - 1953)

“Happiness is not perfected until it is shared.” -Jane Porter (1776 - 1850)

“Not only is there a right to be happy, there is a duty to be happy. So much sadness exists in the world that we are all under obligation to contribute as much joy as lies within our powers.” -John Sutherland Bonnell (1893 - 1992)

“Happiness will bring you good luck.” -Author Unknown: fortune cookie saying

“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies.” -Gene Hill (Gene Atkins Hill (1928 - 1997))

“Happiness! Can any human being undertake to define it for another?” -Dinah Craik (Dinah Maria Craik (1826 - 1887)): “A Woman’s Thoughts about Women” (1858), Chapter 10

“Happiness is a direction, not a destination.” -Author Unknown

“I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.” -Martha Washington (1731 - 1802)

“Happiness is a way-station between too little and too much.” -Channing Pollock (1880 - 1946)

“To me there is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy, we sow enormous benefits upon the world.” -Robert Louis Stevenson (Robert Louis Balfour Stevenson (1850 - 1894)): “Virginibus Puerisque and Other Papers” (1881): ‘An Apology for Idlers’

“How true it is that, if we are cheerful and contented, all nature smiles, the air seems more balmy, the sky clearer, the Earth has a brighter green . . . the flowers are more fragrant . . . and the Sun, Moon, and stars all appear more beautiful, and seem to rejoice with us.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“True happiness consists in making others happy.” -Author Unknown

Happiness: hap-pi-ness, ha-pē-nǝs, noun. A mental state of well-being characterized by positive emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.

“Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.” -William Cowper (1731 - 1800): “Task,” book III, line 41

“Folks are generally as happy as they make up their minds to be.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“Happiness belongs to those who are sufficient unto themselves. For all external sources of happiness and pleasure, are by their very nature, highly uncertain, precarious, ephemeral, and subject to chance.” -Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860)

“Cheerful people, the doctors say, resist disease better than glum people. In other words, ‘The surly bird catches the germ.’” -Author Unknown

“We deem those happy who, from the experience of life, have learned to bear its ills, without being overcome by them.” [translation to English]
“Ducimus autem hos quoque felices, qui ferre incommoda vitæ, nec jactare jugum vita didicere magistra.” [original Latin]
-Juvenal (Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis (about C.E. 55 - C.E. 130)): “Satires,” XII, 20

“I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1788))

Pictures of the words, ‘Be Happy’ written in finger on a foggy window and in sand.

Do more of what makes you happy . . . like writing messages on foggy windows and on sandy beaches.

“Spread happiness; a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” -Author Unknown

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180))

“Jumping for joy is good exercise.” -Author Unknown

“Happiness doesn’t depend on what we have, but it does depend on how we feel toward what we have. We can be happy with little and miserable with much.” -William Dempster Hoard (1836 - 1918)

“Happiness is in the heart, not in circumstances or in things.” -Author Unknown

“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in the “Holy Bible,” (King James Version (1611)), ‘The Book of Proverbs,’ chapter 17, verse 22

“There is no happiness except in the realization that we have accomplished something.” -Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)

“Happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it is too late.” -Robert R. Updegraff (Robert Rawls Updegraff (1889 - 1977))

“Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor ‘Eleanor’ Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“The greatest happiness is to be that which one is.” -Theodore Herzl (1860 - 1904)

“He is happy that knoweth not himself to be otherwise.” -Thomas Fuller (1608 - 1661)

“The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime.” -Author Unknown

“Now and then, it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” -Guillaume Apollinaire (Wilhelm Apollinaris de Dostrowitsky (1880 - 1918))

“Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling.” -Margaret Runbeck (Margaret Lee Runbeck (1900 - 1956)): “Time for Each Other” (1944)

“A single joy can scatter a hundred griefs.” -Author Unknown

“The great end of all human industry is the attainment of happiness. For this were arts invented, sciences cultivated, laws ordained, and societies modelled, by the most profound wisdom of patriots and legislators. Even the lonely savage, who lies exposed to the inclemency of the elements and the fury of wild beasts, forgets not, for a moment, this grand object, of his being.” -David Hume (1711 - 1776): “The Stoic,” ‘Essays, Moral, Political and Literary,’ part 1, essay 16, as published in “The Philosophical Works of David Hume” (1826), volume 3, page 167

“The happy people are those who are producing something; the bored people are those who are consuming much and producing nothing.” -William R. Inge (William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954))

“A multitude of small delights constitutes happiness.” -Charles Baudelaire (Charles Pierre Baudelaire (1821 - 1867))

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” -Frederick Koenig (Friedrich Gottlob Koenig (1774 - 1833))

“A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.” -Hugh Downs (Hugh Malcolm Downs (born 1921)): as quoted in Roy B. Zuck: “The Speaker’s Quote Book: Over 4,500 Illustrations” (1997), page 185

“The path to cheerfulness is to sit cheerfully and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.” -Steve Maraboli (born 1975)

“A light heart lives long.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

“What is happiness and unhappiness? It depends so little on the circumstances; it depends really only on what happens inside a person. I am grateful for every day . . . and that makes me happy.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906 - 1945)

“The happiest people are the ones who make others happy.” -Author Unknown

“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.” -George Sand (pseudonym of Amandine-Aurore-Lucile Dupin (1804 - 1876))

“When you seek happiness for others, you will find it for yourself.” -Lori Moreno

“The happiest people are those who think the most interesting thoughts. Those who decide to use leisure as a means of mental development, who love good music, good books, good pictures, good company, good conversation, are the happiest people in the world. And they are not only happy in themselves, they are the cause of happiness in others.” -William L. Phelps (William Lyon Phelps (1865 - 1943))

“Your happiness is your gift to the world.” -Robert Holden

“Resolve to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845)

“I do not know of any sure way of making others happy as being so oneself.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875)

“Be happy. It’s one way of being wise.” -Colette (Sidonie Gabrielle Claudine Colette (1873 - 1954))

“The joy that you give to others is the joy that comes back to you.” -John Greenleaf Whittier (1807 - 1892)

“Happiness is no laughing matter.” -Richard Whately (1787 - 1863): “Apophthegms” (1854)

“You cannot always have happiness, but you can always give happiness.” -Author Unknown

“There is only one real happiness in life, and that is the happiness of creating.” -Frederick Delius (1862 - 1934)

“In whatever situation we are placed, our greater or less degree of happiness must be derived from ourselves. Happiness is in a great measure the result of our own dispositions and actions.” -Hannah Webster Foster (about 1758 - 1840)

“Happiness is not a matter of events; it depends upon the tides of the mind.” -Alice Meynell (1847 - 1922)

“The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.” -William Morris (1834 - 1896)

“An effort made for the happiness of others lifts us above ourselves.” -Lydia M. Child (Lydia Maria Francis Child (1802 - 1880))

“Happiness is not an ideal of reason but of imagination.” -Immanuel Kant (1724 - 1804): “Fundamental Principles of the Metaphysics of Ethics” (1785)

“If you do not have the capacity for happiness with a little money, great wealth will not bring it to you.” -William Feather (William Arthur Feather (1889 - 1981)): “The Business of Life” (1949)

Affirmation: I choose happiness!

“The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions - the little soon-forgotten charities of a kiss, a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment in the disguise of a playful raillery, and the countless other infinitesimal of pleasurable thought and genial feeling.” -Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834)

“Happiness is not a possession to be prized, it is a quality of thought, a state of mind.” -Daphne du Maurier (1907 - 1989)

“It is the inalienable right of all to be happy.” -Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815 - 1902) (1861)

“Happiness is surely the best teacher of good manners: only the unhappy are churlish in deportment.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)): “Where the Blue Begins” (1922)

“The happy man is not he who seems thus to others, but who seems thus to himself.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“Some pursue happiness, while others create it.” -Author Unknown

“There are only two roads that lead to something like human happiness. They are marked by the words: love and achievement . . . In order to be happy oneself it is necessary to make at least one other person happy . . . The secret of human happiness is not in self-seeking but in self-forgetting.” -Theodore Reik

“Happiness is the atmosphere in which all things grow.” -Author Unknown

We are MFOL! . . . spread the merriment . . .

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Mnemonics and Memory Aids

11/8/2021

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Picture of a lecturer in front of a group of people, pointing at a board on which are the words, ‘What is a mnemonic?’

What is a mnemonic? A mnemonic is an aid to the memorization and recall of information or knowledge.

How is mnemonic pronounced? The word mnemonic is pronounced as nuh-mah-nik, with the letter ‘m’ at the beginning of the word being silent, similar to the way the letter ‘g’ at the beginning of the word gnu is silent.

Does anyone have a mnemonic that is useful for remembering how to spell the word mnemonic?

Mnemonic Devices Can Help in Memorizing
- Birthdays
- Dates
- Faces
- Phrases in foreign languages
- Names
- Order in which things have occurred or are to be done
- Shopping lists
- Subjects in school
- To do lists
Can you think of other uses for mnemonics?

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General Knowledge Mnemonics

Colors of the Rainbow
The colors of the rainbow in the visible spectrum are red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. Mnemonics for remembering them include the following.
- Roy G. Biv
- Richard Of York Gave Battle In Vain.

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Metric System
The prefixes of the metric system of measure from largest to smallest units are Kilo, Hecto, Deka, Base, Deci, Centi, and Milli. They can be memorized with the mnemonic, “King Henry dieted by drinking chocolate milk.”

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Days in the Months

Thirty days has September,
     April, June, and November;
All the rest have thirty-one
     Excepting February alone,
To which we twenty-eight assign
     Till leap year makes it twenty-nine.

by Author Unknown

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English Grammar Mnemonics

Coordinating Conjunctions
The seven coordinating conjunctions in English can be arranged to form the acronymic mnemonic FANBOYS: For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So.

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Parts of Speech

Nouns and Verbs
Nouns are persons, or places, or things
Such as Benjamin, Egypt, or wings.
Verbs cause them to move
As this sentence will prove:
“When Benjamin sings, Egypt swings!”

Adverbs
On adverbs we always rely
To tell where or when, how or why,
And to what extent, too
As ‘exceedingly few’
Tells about elephants in the sky.

Prepositions
If you want to locate or position
Some thing, use a good preposition.
To, around, in, and out,
Up and down, or about
Put things in their place or condition.

by Author Unknown

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Parts of Speech
An acronymic mnemonic for the nine parts of speech is APAPANVIC, standing for: Articles, Pronouns, Adjectives, Prepositions, Adverbs, Nouns, Verbs, Interjections, Conjunctions.

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Vowels
The five vowels of the alphabet can be memorized with the mnemonic, “All elephants insure orange umbrellas,” representing a, e, i, o, u. This does not include the letter ‘y’ which can be either a consonant or a vowel depending on its place in a word.

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Spelling Rule

I before E,
     Except after C,
Or when sounded like A,
     As in Neighbor and Weigh.

by Author Unknown

The following sixteen words are exceptions to the ‘i before e’ rule: seize, weird, neither, either, foreign, sovereign, forfeit, counterfeit, leisure, heifer, protein, height, sleight, feisty, seismograph, and kaleidoscope.

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Spelling Mnemonics
- Arithmetic: A raccoon in the house may eat the ice cream.
- Because: Big elephants can always understand small elephants.
- Does: Daddy only eats sandwiches.
- Friend: Fred rushed in eating nine doughnuts.
- Geography: George’s elderly ornery grandfather rode a pig home yesterday.
- Laugh: Laughing aunts under green hats.
- Necessary: Not every cat eats sardines, some are really yucky.
- Ought: Only unique goats have this.
- Rhythm: Rhythm helps you talented hipsters move.
- The three e’s in cemetery are as three tombstones in a row.
- Tomorrow: Talking of my orange-red rose on Wednesday.
- When spelling stationery, think of the e in envelope.
Can you create more mnemonics for words that are difficult to spell?

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Achievement Mnemonics

Goals
SMART Goals are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-Bound.

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Cooperation
The benefit of teamwork is spelled out in the acronym TEAM: Together Everyone Achieves More.

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Studying for Tests
BREAK: Break memorization into short time periods, Recite information aloud, Establish mnemonics, Always try to picture information in your mind, Key words help.

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Science Mnemonics

The Scientific Method, or What do scientists do all day? Answer: Question, research, hypothesis, experiment, conclusion, report. A mnemonic for remembering this is, ‘Quickly run home eating chewy raisins.’

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Electromagnetic Spectrum
The electromagnetic spectrum is broken down into waves or rays, called Radio, Micro, Infrared, Visible, Ultraviolet, X-Rays, and Gama. A mnemonic for remembering this is, ‘Real monkeys invent very useful X-mas gifts.’

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Speed of Light
The speed of light is 299,792,458 meters per second. A mnemonic for this is, ‘We guarantee certainly, clearly referring to this light mnemonic,’ in which the number of letters in each word represents a number in the speed of light.

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Gemology and Geology
An acronymic mnemonic for memorizing the Beryl group of gemstones is G.E.M.M.A.H.: Goshenite, Emerald, Maxixe, Moganite, Aquamarine, Heliodor.

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Geography Mnemonics

Earth’s Continents
Earth has seven continents, which are named Europe, Antarctica, Asia, Africa, Australia, North America, South America. A mnemonic for remembering them is as follows: Eat an alligator after a nighttime snack.

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The Five Great Lakes of North America
HOMES: Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, Superior. The five great lakes are ‘homes’ to numerous fishes.
The order of the Great Lakes from west to east, or left to right when facing north, is Superior, Michigan, Huron, Erie, Ontario. A mnemonic for remembering this ‘Saving money helps every one.’

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The Countries of Central America
Big gorillas eat honey, never cheesy pizza.
Belize, Guatemala, El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Panama.

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Earth’s Oceans
The Earth’s five oceans in order from largest to smallest are Pacific, Atlantic, Indian, Southern, and Arctic. A mnemonic for remembering them is, ‘Primitives allow irritatingly simple art.’

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American States
The states just west of the Mississippi River from north to south are Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri, Arkansas and Louisiana. A mnemonic for the names of the states is MIMAL the Silly Elf, based on the shapes of the states. Minnesota is his hat, Iowa is his face, Missouri is his body, Arkansas is his legs, and Louisiana is his boots. Look at a map for help in understanding this idea.

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Mathematics Mnemonics

Order of Operations in Arithmetic

The order of operations in arithmetic can be memorized with the aid of the mnemonic acronym GEMDAS, which stands for Groupings, Exponents, Multiplication, Division, Addition, Subtraction.

Groupings are mathematical expressions affected by grouping symbols such as parenthesis ( ), square brackets [ ], curly brackets { }, and the fraction bars — or /.

A further aid to memorization of the order of operations in arithmetic is to replace each letter in GEMDAS with a word, to create the sentence, “George, Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally.” Otherwise, GEMDAS is a ‘gem’ of a mnemonic.

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Pi Mnemonics

Pi expressed to seven decimal places is 3.1415927. A mnemonic for memorizing the number is, ‘May I have a large container of coffee?’ with the number of letters in each word representing a digit in the number as follows.
‘May’ has 3 letters, ‘I’ has 1, ‘have’ has 4, ‘a’ has 1, ‘large’ has 5, ‘container’ has 9, ‘of’ has 2, and ‘coffee’ plus the ‘?’ is 7.

The mathematical value π or pi, expressed to thirty-one decimal places, is 3.1415926535897932384626433832795.

The letter count of each word in the following poem represents a number in pi. The first word, Sir, contains 3 letters representing the whole number 3 to the left of the decimal point, and the number of letters in each word following the word Sir is a number to the right of the decimal point.

Sir,
I bear a rhyme excelling
In mystic force, and magic spelling
Celestial sprites elucidate
All my own striving can’t relate
Or locate they who can cogitate
And so finally terminate.
Finis.

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Biology Mnemonics

Order of Taxonomy or Taxonomic Hierarchies
Species are organized under a number of categories. The order, from largest to most specific, is: Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species. Some mnemonics for remembering them include the following.
- Kids prefer cheese over fried green spinach.
- King Philip came over for good soup.
- Kings play chess on fine glass sets.

Human Anatomy
The bones of the lower limbs are Hip, Femur, Patella, Tibia, Fibula, Tarsals, Metatarsals, Phalanges. A mnemonic for them is, ‘Help Five Police To Find Ten Missing Prisoners.’

Essential Amino Acids
The essential amino acids are Phenylalanine, Valine, Threonine, Tryptophan, Isoleucine, Methionine, Histidine, Arginine, Leucine, Lysine. A mnemonic for memorizing them is ‘Pvt. Tim Hall,’ in which ‘Pvt.’ is an abbreviation for Private, one of the ranks of enlisted soldiers in the United States Army.

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History Mnemonic

Christopher Columbus

Columbus sailed the ocean blue
In fourteen-hundred ninety-two.

by Author Unknown

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Civics and Government Mnemonics

The Articles of the Constitution
The seven articles or sections of the United States Constitution which detail the functions of government are as follows.

Article I - The Legislative Branch
Article II - The Executive Branch
Article III - The Judicial Branch
Article IV - The States
Article V - Amendment
Article VI - Debts, Supremacy, Oaths
Article VII - Ratification

A mnemonic for memorizing the names of the seven articles or sections is, ‘Large elephants jump slowly and descend rapidly,’ in which the first letter of each word in the sentence is the same as the first letter in the first key word of the names of the articles or sections.

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Astronomy Mnemonics

Basic Solar System
Some mnemonics for the eight planets, or Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, plus one dwarf planet Pluto, in order of distance from the Sun star, are as follows.
My very easy method just speeds up naming planets.
My very educated minister just showed us nine planets.
My very excited mother just served us nine pies.

All-Inclusive Solar System
All of the planets and all of the dwarf planets in order from the Sun star outward are Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Ceres, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, Haumea, Makemake, and Eris. Some mnemonics for the eight planets plus the four dwarf planets in order from the Sun outward are as follows.
- My very exciting mermaid career just sank underwater. Now, pedestrian hobbies mean everything.
- ‘Man,’ Voldemort exclaimed, ‘my catastrophic jinx shall utterly nuke Potter!’ Harry’s Move: ‘Expelliarmus!’

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Names and Titles Mnemonics

- When you meet someone for the first time, say the person’s name aloud, as for example, “I am pleased to meet you, Margaret.” Use the person’s name in conversation, as for example, “I agree with your observation on that subject, Margaret.” Then, when parting, say the person’s name again, as for example, “I hope to see you again, Margaret.” Repetition is one of the best ways to place information in memory.
- Associate the person’s name with a place, school, team, church, company, or other organization, as for example, ‘Steve from New Brunswick’ or ‘Karen with the Christian Polo Players Club’ or ‘Martin Shoreberg of Custom Electronics.’
- Think of a short rhyme using the person’s name, such as ‘Jed the Red’ or ‘Stan the Man with the Hopeful Plan’ or ‘Carmella and her longtime fella.’ You might not want to say the rhyme aloud, to avoid embarrassing the person and yourself, and just think it silently to yourself.
- If it helps, write the person’s name down on paper, with any information that helps you make the connection, such as a telephone number, company name, or address.
- Can you think of other tips for remembering people’s names?

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The English or United Kingdom Peerage

The titles of the five ranks of peerage in ascending order are: baron, viscount, earl, marquess, duke.

The title ‘Lord’ is used most often by barons who are rarely addressed with any other. The style of this address is ‘Lord __________________,’ as, for example, ‘Alfred Tennyson, 1st Baron Tennyson,’ commonly known as ‘Lord Tennyson.’

The ranks of marquess, earl, and viscounts commonly use lord as well, with viscounts using the same style as used for baron. However, marquises and earls have a slightly different form of address where they can be called either the ‘Marquess/Earl of __________________,’ or ‘Lord __________________.’

Dukes also use the style, ‘Duke of __________________,’ but it is not acceptable to refer to them as ‘Lord __________________.’ Dukes are formally addressed as ‘Your Grace,’ rather than ‘My Lord.’

A mnemonic for remembering the titles in ascending order of rank is, “Bobbies very eagerly munch doughnuts.”

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Did you know you can create your own mnemonics, to help you memorize nearly anything? Just put your imagination to work.

This is MFOL! . . . the internet’s most mildly amusing website . . .

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Art

11/7/2021

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Picture of a happy smiling boy holding a paintbrush over an abstract painting he is making.

“The motivation of all artists is, ‘Look at me, Mum.’” -Sebastian Horsley

“Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.” -Thomas Merton (1915 - 1968)

Claudia: Where can cow art be found?
Clyde: In moo-seums!

During an exhibit at a museum, a modern artist was explaining his work. “This,” he said, pointing to a completely blank canvas, “is a cow grazing.” “Where is the grass?” asked a visitor. “The cow has eaten it,” the artist answered. “Well, then,” the visitor said, “where is the cow?” “Do you think she would stick around,” the artist replied, “after she had eaten all the grass?”

“The fact that no one understands you doesn’t make you an artist.” -Author Unknown

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Drew.
Drew, who?
Drew a picture for you!

“Art is creating something beautiful where nothing existed before.” -Author Unknown

[Henri] “Matisse’s painting “Le Bateau” hung upside down in the Museum of Modern Art, New York, for forty-seven days before anyone noticed (October 18 to December 4, 1961). In that period 116,000 people had visited the gallery.” -Jean Cocteau (1890 - 1963): “Past Tense: Diaries” (1987), Volume 1

Question: They are now worth millions of dollars each, and are much sought after, but how many paintings did Vincent Van Gogh sell in his lifetime?
Answer: Vincent Van Gogh sold exactly one of his paintings during his entire lifetime, titled, “Red Vineyard at Arles,” which was bought by his brother.

“I cannot help it that my pictures do not sell. Nevertheless the time will come when people will see that they are worth more than the price of the paint.” -Vincent van Gogh (Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 - 1890)): in a letter (20 October 1888) to his brother Theo

Alice: What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
Alicia: “I love you with all my art!”

“A very rich man once commissioned a famous artist to do a painting of a fish. One year later the man returned and asked for his painting. The artist took out a clean sheet of paper and painted a beautiful fish while the man waited. The man then asked why it had taken a year to get the painting of the fish. The artist opened a door to a closet, which was filled with 1,000 paintings of that fish.” -Author Unknown

“Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.” -Frank Zappa (Francis Vincent ‘Frank’ Zappa, Junior (born 1940))

Bo

An artistic young man called Bo,
To an art class decided to go.
The teacher said, “Not right -
Your page is all white!”
Bo said, “It is a polar bear in snow.”

by Author Unknown

Sculpture: An art that consists of eliminating all superfluous material.

“I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don’t need.” -Auguste Rodin (also known as François Auguste René Rodin, Auguste-René Rodin, and François-Auguste Rodin (1840 - 1917)), when asked how he managed to make his statues

Luther: What did the art dealer say when you asked what the abstract picture was supposed to be?
Rutherford: “It is a reflection of the person looking at it.”

“The greatest masterpieces were once only pigments on a palette.” -Henry S. Haskins (Henry Stanley Haskins (1876 - 1957))

Overheard: You are my favorite work of art.

“Sometimes there is no need to be either clever or original.” -Ivan Chermayeff

“There are only two styles of portrait painting, the serious and the smirk.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870))

“Art is life seen through a temperament.” -Émile Zola

“Every time I paint a portrait I lose a friend.” -John Singer Sargent (1856 - 1925): as quoted in Evan Esar: “The Dictionary of Humorous Quotations” (1949)

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” -Michelangelo (Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni, also known as Buonarroti Michelangelo (1475 - 1564))

“Art is awesome!” -Author Unknown

“I am a poor man and of little worth, who is laboring in that art that God has given me in order to extend my life as long as possible.” -Michelangelo (Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni, also known as Buonarroti Michelangelo (1475 - 1564))

“If I didn’t start painting, I would have raised chickens.” -Grandma Moses (Anna Mary Robertson Moses (1860 - 1961))

“The real artist’s work is a surprise to himself.” -Robert Henri

Kevin: Which artists live on farms?
Nikki: Vincent van Goat and Pablo Pigcaso.

“An artist is someone who produces things that people don’t need to have but that he - for some reason - thinks it would be a good idea to give them.” -Andy Warhol (Andrew Warhola): “Philosophy of Andy Warhol (From A to B and Back Again)” (1975), chapter 10

“When one buys some of my artwork I hope it is because they will wish to learn from it and not because they think it will match their drapes!” -Christian Cardell Corbet (1997)

“Real art is illumination . . . It adds stature to life.” -Brooks Atkinson (Justin Brooks ‘Brooks’ Atkinson (1894 - 1984))

Picture of a sketch artist at work on a sketch of a woman.

“An artist cannot fail; it is a success to be one.” -Charles Horton Cooley

“The purpose of art is to stop time.” -Bob Dylan

“Art is like a border of flowers along the course of civilization.” -Lincoln Steffens (1846 - 1936)

“There’s no correlation between creativity and equipment ownership. None. Zilch. Nada. Actually, as the artist gets more into his thing, and as he gets more successful, his number of tools tends to go down. He knows what works for him. Expending mental energy on stuff wastes time.” -Hugh Macleod

“Sculpture is what you bump into when you back up to see a painting.” -Barnett Newman

“Everyone wants to understand art. Why not try to understand the song of a bird?” -Pablo Picasso (Pablo Diego Jose Francisco do Paula Juan Nepomuceno Cipriano de la Santissima Trinidad (1881 - 1973))

“Abstract art? A product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled, to the utterly bewildered.” -Al Capp (Alfred Gerald Caplin (1909 - 1979)): as quoted in the “National Observer” (1 July 1963)

“Good art does exist, though less and less in the world. It is worth a few dollars, though never any outrageous sum of money. What is now called art is usually color smears on a surface or pieces of material that has been mangled or stacked off-center and called a sculpture, and at this time, much of what is called art is only a way to separate the gullible from their money. Perhaps someday the world will return to good art and to paying just a few dollars for it.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“The history of modern art is also the history of the progressive loss of art’s audience. Art has increasingly become the concern of the artist and the bafflement of the public.” -Paul Gauguin

A Still-Life

An artist woke up from his slumbers
To paint a still-life of cucumbers.
When asked for a hint
About color or tint
He said, “Wait ’til I mark down the numbers.”

by Author Unknown: a limerick about paint-by-numbers

“In art the hand can never execute anything higher than the heart can inspire.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“It’s clever, but is it art?” -Rudyard Kipling (1865 - 1936)

“I don’t know if it’s art, but I know I like it.” -Walt Disney (Walter Elias ‘Walt’ Disney (1901 - 1966)): as attributed in Frank Thomas and Ollie Johnston: “Disney Animation: The Illusion of Life” (1981)

“Art never expresses anything but itself.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

Do you need art to decorate your castle, palace, one-room apartment, office, mini-mansion, dorm room, cubicle, tent, estate, pod, or cave? Visit www.FreeArt.com. Be sure to mention you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.” -Tom Stoppard (born 1937 as Tomás Straussler): “Artist Descending a Staircase” (1972)

“Modern art - isn’t that like music with an irregular beat that nobody ever notices, because it is really only background noise?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Annabelle: How does Salvador Dali start his mornings?
Christabel: With a bowl of breakfast ‘surreal.’

“The more horrifying this world becomes, the more art becomes abstract.” -Paul Klee

“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” -Scott Adams (Scott Raymond Adams (born 1957))

“Artists are just children who refuse to put down their crayons.” -Al Hirschfeld

“Painting is easy when you don’t know how but very difficult when you do.” -Edgar Degas

“Looking at ‘modern art’ is like trying to follow the plot in a bowl of alphabet soup.” -Author Unknown

“The arts are an even better barometer of what is happening in our world than the stock market or the debates in congress.” -Hendrik Willem van Loon (1882 - 1944): “The Arts” (1937)

“No art, however minor, demands less than total dedication if you want to excel in it.” -Alberti (Leon Battista Alberti (1404 - 1472))

Moe: What does an artist draw just before going to bed?
Joe: Is it the blinds or the curtains?

“No masterpiece was ever created by a lazy artist.” -Salvador Dali

A doodle is a tiny sketch of a character or object; a whacky doodle is a whimsical such drawing.

“The artistic temperament is a disease that afflicts amateurs.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936)): “Heretics” (1905), Chapter 16

“Art for art’s sake is an empty phrase. Art for the sake of the true, and for the sake of the good and the beautiful, that is the faith I am searching for.” -George Sand (pseudonym of Amandine Lucile Aurore Dudevant (1804 - 1876))

“A painting is never finished; it simply stops in interesting places.” -Paul Gardner

“Can anyone explain art?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“It looks like a tortoise-shell cat having a fit in a platter of tomatoes.” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)), commenting on a modern art painting

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Monet!
Monet, who?
Monet for art does not grow on trees!

“A primitive artist is an amateur whose work sells.” -Grandma Moses (Anna Mary Robertson Moses (1860 - 1961))

“The prudent painter should know how to paint what is appropriate to the individual, the time, and the place . . . Is it not an error to paint St. Jerome with a red hat, like the one cardinals wear today? He was indeed a cardinal, but he did not wear such a costume, since it was Pope Innocent IV, more than 700 years later, who gave cardinals their red hats and red gowns . . . All this proceeds from the ignorance of painters.” -Gilio da Cybele: “Dialogue on the Error of Painters” (1564), as quoted in Daniel J. Boorstin: “The Discoverers” (1983)

“It is not hard to understand modern art. If it hangs on a wall, it’s a painting, and if you can walk around it, it’s a sculpture.” -Author Unknown

“Art is ruled uniquely by the imagination.” -Benedetto Croce

“All art is but imitation of nature.” -Lucius Annaeus Seneca (also known as Seneca the Younger or simply Seneca (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“In his lifetime van Gogh painted 486 paintings. Oddly enough, 8,975 of them are to be found in the United States.” -Werner Lansburgh

Signs That You Might Be an Artist
- The only piece of new furniture in your home is a $2,000 easel.
- You chose your car for its color rather than fuel economy.
- You butter your toast with your fingers just to feel its texture.
- You have nothing to wear on a date because everything has paint smears on it.
- Your date ends up with paint smears on him or her.
- There are Prussian blue fingerprints on your telephone.
- You know what color of green the lichen growing on the tree is.
- You know the names of more than twenty-eight colors.
- You are more than a month behind on your rent.
- When you take a day off to relax at the beach, you take along an easel, paint, brushes, and several blank canvasses.
- The only book you own is a book with large full-color illustrations of renaissance art, with paint smears on the pages.
- You frequently take your work on the road by loading up your vehicle with examples of your best art and make the rounds of the galleries in nearby towns, and you wonder if Monet ever did the same thing with a horse and wagon.

“The ‘Earth’ without ‘art’ is just ‘Eh.’” -Author Unknown

[Of James Whistler] “His most famous painting was titled “Arrangement in Grey and Black No. 1” (1871), but it’s more commonly known as “Whistler’s Mother.” It’s a portrait of Anna Matilda McNeill Whistler in a black dress, seated in profile against a gray wall. When Whistler’s scheduled model didn’t show up for a sitting, he decided to paint his mother instead.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Writer’s Almanac” (11 July 2012)

“Art is the unceasing effort to compete with the beauty of flowers - and never succeeding.” -Gian Carlo Menotti (1911 - 2007)

“Some people color inside the lines, others color outside the lines. Me? I eat the crayons.” -Bill Carter

“The highest triumph of art, is the truest presentation of nature.” -Nathaniel Parker Willis (1806 - 1867)

This is MFOL! . . . it’s like fine art that is available to everyone . . .

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Competitions and Contests

11/3/2021

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Picture of a happy smiling young woman and a happy smiling young man lined up at the start line of an indoor running track.

“Your toughest competition in life is anyone who is willing to work harder than you.” -Casey Coleman

“Put yourself in competition with yourself each day. Each morning look back upon your work of yesterday and then try to beat it.” -Charles Sheldon (Charles Monroe Sheldon (1857 - 1946))

“It is the contest that delights us, not the victory.” -Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

“You don’t have to be a fantastic hero to do certain things - to compete. You can be just an ordinary chap, sufficiently motivated to reach challenging goals. The intense effort, the giving of everything you’ve got, is a very pleasant bonus.” -Edmund Hillary (Edmund Percival Hillary (1919 - 2008))

“Winning doesn’t always mean being first. Winning means you’re doing better than you’ve ever done before.” -Bonnie Blair

“Accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory.” -George S. Patton (George Smith Patton, Junior (1885 - 1945))

“If your competition does 50 push-ups, you do 51. If they go the extra mile, you go the extra 10. If they are fast, be faster. If they are smart, be brilliant. If they have the bigger hammer, you have the sharper nail.” -Author Unknown

“The race is long but in the end it is only with yourself.” -Author Unknown: “Everybody’s Free” (song)

Girl: What did you get the little trophy for?
Boy: For singing.
Girl: What did you get the big trophy for?
Boy: For stopping!

“The only competition you will ever have is the competition between your disciplined and undisciplined mind.” -James A. Ray

Riddle: What makes Ford a better car?
Solution: Chrysler.

“Competition means decentralized planning by many separate persons.” -Friedrich August von Hayek

“The principle is competing against yourself.” -Steve Young

Picture of a first place blue ribbon, a second place red ribbon, and a third place white ribbon.

“Becoming number one is easier than remaining number one.” -Bill Bradley (born 1943)

“Two sketch artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.” -Author Unknown

“Rarely have I seen a situation where doing less than the other guy is a good strategy.” -Jimmy Spithill

“Life is a competition, not with others, but with ourselves. We should seek each day to live stronger, better, truer lives; each day to master some weakness of yesterday; each day to repair a mistake; each day to surpass ourselves.” -David B. Haight

“The only competition worthy a wise man is with himself.” -Anna Brownell Jameson (1794 - 1860)

“He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797): “Reflections on the Revolution in France,” page 453

“The problem with keeping up with the Jones is that it creates a world full of Jones.” -Julian Barton

“The next best thing to winning is losing! At least you’ve been in the race.” -Nellie Hershey Smith

“The ability to learn faster than your competitors may be the only sustainable competitive advantage.” -Arie de Geus

“Compete against yourself, not others, for that is who is truly your best competition.” -Peggy Fleming Jenkins

“All strategy depends on competition.” -Bruce D. Henderson

“Being the best is rarely within our reach. Doing our best is always within our reach.” -Charles F. Glassman: “Brain Drain: The Breakthrough That Will Change Your Life” (2009)

“Life is a competition, not with others, but with ourselves. We should seek each day to live stronger, better, truer lives; each day to master some weakness of yesterday; each day to repair a mistake; each day to surpass ourselves.” -David B. Haight

“The only person I must be better than is the person I was yesterday.” -Author Unknown

We are MFOL! . . . and we declare that everybody is good at something - you only have to keep trying different things until you discover what interests you . . . and then . . . ‘Work At It Until You Excel At It!’ . . .

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Ships and Sailors

10/29/2021

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Picture of a two-masted sailing yacht in the open sea, with a blue sky and fluffy white clouds above, and the words, Ships and Sailors by David Hugh Beaumont, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net

Across the mighty seas they sailed, in tiny wooden ships, pushed along by the currents in the water and the currents in the air . . . Are we there yet? How much longer is this going to take? Is that what a sea monster is supposed to look like?

Iron Men and Wooden Ships

Said a salty old skipper from Wales,
“Number One, it’s all right to chew nails.
     It impresses the crew,
     It impresses me, too.
But stop spitting holes in the sails!”

by John Ciardi (John Anthony Ciardi (1916 - 1986))

“Land was created to provide a place for boats to visit.” -Brooks Atkinson (Justin Brooks ‘Brooks’ Atkinson (1894 - 1984))

Never a ship sails out of the bay
     But carries my heart as a stowaway.
-Roselle Mercier Montgomery (1874 - 1933): “Ulysses Returns, and Other Poems” (1925), ‘The Stowaway’

“Sailors, with their built in sense of order, service, and discipline, should really be running the world.” -Nicholas Monsarrat (Nicholas John Turney Monsarrat (1910 - 1979))

“It is not the ship so much as the skillful sailing that assures the prosperous voyage.” -George William Curtis (1824 - 1892)

“If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it!” -Jonathan Winters (Jonathan Harshman Winters III (1925 - 2013))

Math Problem: A ship has a ladder with twelve rungs, and each rung is a foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water’s surface. The tide rises at 12 inches every 15 minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at its highest, how many rungs will be under water?
Solution: None; as the tide rises, the ship and the ladder attached to it will rise with the tide.

“When a man comes to like a sea life, he is not fit to live on land.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

Ships

Little ships
     Must keep to the shore;
Larger ships
     May venture more.

by Author Unknown

“Out of sight of land the sailor feels safe. It is the beach that worries him.” -Charles G. Davis (Charles Gerard Davis (1870 - 1959))

“Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.” [translation to English]
“In tranquillo esse quisque gubernator potest.” [original Latin]
-Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): “Sententiae,” Maxim 358

“Sailing ships: Mast transit.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are for.” -John A. Shedd (John Augustus Shedd (1859 - 1928)): “Salt from My Attic” (1928), page 20 (similar quotation attributed to William G. T. Shedd)

“These tall and handsome ships, swaying imperceptibly on tranquil waters, these sturdy ships, with their inactive, nostalgic appearance, don’t they say to us in a speechless tongue: When do we cast off for happiness?” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)

“Two captains will sink the ship.” -Author Unknown: Turkish proverb

“Too many captains run the ship aground.” -Author Unknown: Greek proverb
(Similar to: “Too many cooks spoil the broth.” -Author Unknown)

“You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don’t let yourself indulge in vain wishes.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

“Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.” -Author Unknown

“However bad the storm you are in, there is still Sun somewhere over your horizon.” -Ken Nutt (Ken Eric Nutt (born 1951))

“When in danger or in doubt, port your helm and come about.” -Author Unknown

“All the water in the world, however hard it tries, can never sink the smallest ship unless it gets inside, and all the evil in the world, the blackest kind of sin, can never hurt you in the least, unless you let it in.” -Author Unknown

“In a calm sea every man is a pilot.” -Author Unknown: Spanish proverb

A shipwrecked sailor spent nearly three years on a desert island. One morning he was overjoyed to see a ship in the bay and a boat pulling onto shore. As the boat grounded on the beach, an officer jumped out and threw the sailor a pile of newspapers. “The captain’s compliments,” said the officer, “and will you please read through these and let him know whether you still wish to be rescued?”

A fully loaded supertanker traveling at normal speed takes a least 20 minutes to come to a full stop.

Danny: Why couldn’t the sailors play cards?
Tammy: Because the captain was standing on the deck.

“Men in a ship are always looking up, and men ashore are usually looking down.” -John Masefield (1878 - 1967)

The right side of a ship is called the starboard side because astronavigators would stand out on the plank (which was on the right side) to get an unobstructed view of the stars. The left side is called the port side because that is the side put in on at ports. Fore refers to the front or forward part of a ship, and aft refers to the back, or after part of a ship.

“A man should learn to sail in all winds.” -Author Unknown: Italian proverb

“I don’t know who named them swells. There’s nothing swell about them. They should have named them awfuls.” -Hugo Vihlen (born 1931)

“Ships are the nearest things to dreams that hands have ever made.” -Robert N. Rose

Picture of a weathered sign reading, ‘Welcome Aboard,’ and the words, Ships and Sailors by David Hugh Beaumont, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net

The first sailing boats were built in ancient Egypt.

“A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.” -John George Hermanson (1866 - 1944)

“Ships don’t sink because of the water around them. Ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.” -Author Unknown

Friendship: A ship full of friends.

Mary: What kind of ship doesn’t sink?
Gary: A friendship.

“There are big ships and small ships. But the best ship of all is friendship.” -Author Unknown

“To sail is necessary.” [translation to English]
“Navigare necesse est.” [original Latin]
-Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus (5th century C.E.)

“The winds and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.” -Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794): “The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire” (1776 - 1789), Volume 1 (1776), Chapter 68

Jen: Why do sailors have trouble learning the alphabet?
Ben: Because ships sail from A to B with sea between.

“The goal is not to sail the boat, but rather to help the boat sail herself.”
-John Rousmaniere (born 1944)

Sally: What sits on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
Salvador: A nervous wreck.

“The sea is the same as it has been since before men ever went on it in boats.” -Ernest Hemingway (Ernest Miller Hemingway (1899 - 1961))

“A small hole can sink a big ship.” -Author Unknown: Russian proverb

Mackerel skies and mares tails,
Soon will be time to shorten sails.
-Author Unknown

“To reach a port, we must sail - sail, not lie at anchor - sail, not drift.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt (Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882 - 1945))

Riddle:
I fly to any foreign parts,
     Assisted by my spreading wings:
My body holds an hundred hearts,
     Nay, I will tell you stranger things:
When I am not in haste I ride,
     And then I mend my pace anon;
I issue fire from my side:
     You witty youths, this riddle answer.
Solution:
I am a sailing ship.

“Don’t let the fear of a storm keep you from sailing the ship.” -Calyn Whitley

“If my ship sails from sight, it doesn’t mean my journey ends, it simply means the river bends.” -J. Enoch Powell (John Enoch ‘Enoch’ Powell (1912 - 1998))

“The good seaman is known in bad weather.” -Author Unknown

“Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea.” -Charles Cook

“A sailor without a destination cannot hope for a favorable wind.” -Leon Tec (1919 - 2013)

“‘A man who is not afraid of the sea will soon be drownded,’ he said, ‘for he will be going out on a day he shouldn’t. But we do be afraid of the sea, and we do only be drownded now and again.’” -John Millington Synge (1871 - 1909): “The Aran Islands” (1907)

Two ships were loaded with cargoes of paint. One had red paint, and the other had blue paint. The ships collided. At last report, the survivors were marooned.

“I keep sailing on in this middle passage. I am sailing into the wind and the dark. But I am doing my best to keep my boat steady and my sails full.” -Arthur Ashe (1943 - 1993)

Horatio Nelson, one of England’s most illustrious admirals, was throughout his lifetime never able to find a cure for his seasickness.

“No wind is a good wind if you don’t know where the harbor is.” -Author Unknown: proverb

“Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Make not your sail too big for your ballast.” -Author Unknown: English proverb

The Titanic was built in Belfast, Ireland. However, it was not the place where it was built that led to its sinking, or the quality of the work, but the design of the ship that resulted in its sinking.

Red sky by morning, sailor take warning.
Red sky at night, sailor’s delight.
-Author Unknown

“No man can say he has been to sea until he has lost sight of land.” -Author Unknown

1 nautical knot equals 1.852 kilometers, or 1.150 miles, per hour. It does not refer to the knots a sailor ties in a rope.

“At sea, I learned how little a person needs, not how much.” -Robin Lee Graham (born 1949)

“A sailor’s joys are as simple as a child’s.” -Bernard Moitessier (1925 - 1994)

“A small Leak will sink a great Ship.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia” (1732), number 407

“No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“He that will not sail till all dangers are over must never put to sea.” -Thomas Fuller (1608 - 1661)

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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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A Pleasant Ship

I saw a ship a-sailing,
     A-sailing on the sea,
And oh! it was all laden
     With pretty things for thee!

There were comfits in the cabin,
     And apples in the hold;
The sails were made of silk,
     And the masts were made of gold.

The four-and-twenty sailors
     That stood between the decks
Were four-and-twenty white mice,
     With chains about their necks.

The captain was a duck,
     With a packet on his back,
And when the ship began to move,
     The captain said, “Quack! Quack!”

by Emilie Poulsson (Anne Emilie Poulsson (1853 - 1939))

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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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“We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails.” -Author Unknown

“There are parts of a ship which taken by themselves would sink. The engine would sink. The propeller would sink. But when the parts of a ship are built together, they float. So with the events of my life. Some have been tragic. Some have been happy. But when they are built together, they form a craft that floats and is going places. And I am comforted.” -Ralph W. Sockman (Ralph Washington Sockman (1889 - 1970))

“We must free ourselves from the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds.” -Hanmer Parsons Grant

“Life isn’t about waiting for the winds to change, it’s about learning to adjust your sails.” -Author Unknown

“Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world.” -H. Melville (Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)): “Moby Dick” (1851), opening line

“I wanted freedom, open air, and adventure. I found it on the sea.” -Alaine Gerbault (Alain Jacques Georges Marie Gerbault (1893 - 1941))

In the days of yore, ships sailed over the endless seas, carrying exotic cargoes and sailors who regaled landlubbers with stories of fantastic faraway places, much like the humor, inspiration, and learning that follows this article in the days of now . . . on MFOL!

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Inquisitiveness and Curiosity

10/25/2021

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Picture of three young children in a green grassy area with yellow dandelions and white daisies, looking at something on the ground through a hand-held magnifying glass.

“Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness.” -Bryant McGill (born 1969)

“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” -Carl Sagan (Carl Edward Sagan (1934 - 1996))

“I would rather live in a world where life is surrounded by mystery, than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969): “Riverside Sermons” (1958)

Inquisitive Lad

There once was a boy of Bagdad,
An inquisitive sort of a lad.
He said, “I will see
If a sting has a bee.”
And he very soon found that it had!

by Author Unknown

“A good scientist is a person in whom the childhood quality of perennial curiosity lingers on. Once he gets an answer, he has other questions.” -Frederick Seitz (1911 - 2008)

Patrice: You’re a real curiosity - did you know that?
Shaun: Well, thank you, though I doubt if you shall ever solve me.

“The Quest Quotient has always interested me more than the Intelligence Quotient.” -Eugene S. Wilson (Eugene Smith ‘Bill’ Wilson, Junior (1905 - 1981)): as quoted in “Reader’s Digest” (April 1968)

“Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.” -James Stephens (1880 - 1950)

“Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton asked why.” -Bernard Baruch (1870 - 1965)

“Be curious always! For knowledge will not acquire you; you must acquire it.” -Sudie Back (Sudie Elizabeth Back Sattler (born 1973))

Picture of two boys poking sticks into a pond that is thickly covered by green algae.

“A generous and elevated mind is distinguished by nothing more certainly than an eminent degree of curiosity.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in James Boswell, editor: “Life of Samuel Johnson” (1791), Volume I: ‘Letters to and from Dr. Samuel Johnson’

“She sat down in a weed patch, her elbows on her knees, and kept her eyes on the small mysterious world of the ground. In the shade and sun of grass blade forests, small living things had their metropolis.” -Nancy Price

“Leave no stone unturned.” -Euripides (about 480 B.C.E. - about 406 B.C.E.)

“To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says: ‘Leave no stone unturned.’” -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)

“The true delight is in the finding out rather than in the knowing.” -Isaac Asimov (1919 - 1992)

“Curiosity makes scientists of us all.” -Alan Howard Cottrell

“Look and you will find it - what is unsought will go undetected.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“Curiosity is a willing, a proud, an eager confession of ignorance.” -S. Leonard Rubinstein (Samuel Leonard Rubinstein (1922 - 2013)): “Writing: A Habit of Mind” (1972)

“Man is incurably curious; his desire to know and to understand is the mainspring of invention, discovery, civilization, progress, the driving force, which leads then to learning.” -Author Unknown

“Be aware of wonder. And then remember the, “Dick and Jane,” books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - look.” -Robert Fulghum (Robert Lee Fulghum (born 1937))

“Not to know is bad; not to wish to know is worse.” -Author Unknown

“Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of vigorous minds.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): “The Rambler” (1750 - 1752), No. 103 (12 March 1751)

Picture of two girls looking at what one of them has cupped in her hands that was taken from a pool of water.

“I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“Being curious is like giving yourself a present whenever you want one.” -Author Unknown

“When curiosity turns to serious matters, it’s called research.” -Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach (also known as Marie Ebner von Eschenbach (1830 - 1916))

“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.” -Author Unknown

“The greatest virtue of man is perhaps curiosity.” -Anatole France (pseudonym of Jacques Anatole François Thibault (1844 - 1924))

“Curiosity killed the cat.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in the “Los Angeles Times” (22 August 1901) newspaper

Overheard: ‘Curiosity killed the cat’ is a common saying, but until someone shows me the record of the incident, I shall be disinclined to believe it.

“The place where you lose the trail is not necessarily the place where it ends.” -Tom Brown, Junior (born 1950): “The Tracker” (1978)

Amy: Who crossed the road and left everyone wanting an explanation?
Eva: The chicken.

“The first and simplest emotion which we discover in the human mind, is curiosity.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

“Satisfaction of one’s curiosity is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life.” - Linus Pauling (Linus Carl Pauling (1901 - 1994))

“There are two sorts of curiosity - the momentary and the permanent. The momentary is concerned with the odd appearance on the surface of things. The permanent is attracted by the amazing and consecutive life that flows on beneath the surface of things.” -Robert Lynd (Robert Wilson Lynd (1879 - 1949))

Picture of a young child peering up over the edge of a table.

“Curiosity is the one thing invincible in nature.” -Freya Stark (Freya Madeline Stark (1893 - 1993))

“Things that people learn purely out of curiosity can have a revolutionary effect on human affairs.” -Frederick Seitz (1911 - 2008): in an interview (3 September 1997) for the George C. Marshall Institute

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” -William Butler Yeats (1865 - 1939)

“Isn’t it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive - it’s such an interesting world. It wouldn’t be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There’d be no scope for imagination then, would there?” -L. M. Montgomery (Lucy Maud Montgomery (1874 - 1942)): “Anne of Green Gables” (June 1908), Chapter 2; line spoken by fictional character Anne

“What drove me and kept me going over the decades? If I had to use a single word, it would be ‘curiosity’.” -Eve Arnold

“The moment that one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious and awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.” -Henry Miller (Henry Valentine Miller (1891 - 1980))

“‘Curiouser and curiouser!’ cried Alice.” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Alice in Wonderland” (1865), Chapter II

This is MFOL! . . . the website for anyone who has ever been told that he or she is a real curiosity . . . which is, after all, what everyone is . . .

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Playtime and Playing

10/20/2021

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Picture of a sign showing children at play as a caution for vehicle drivers.

“It is essential to our well-being, and to our lives, that we play and enjoy life.” -Marcia Wieder

George knocked on the door of his friend’s house. When his friend’s mother answered he asked, “Can Albert come out to play?” “No,” said the mother, “It’s too cold.” “Well, then,” said George, “can his football come out to play?”

“It is a happy talent to know how to play.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882): “Journals”

When Albert’s baby sister was born, his mother told him the baby would be nice to play with. After looking at it for a while, he complained, “Yes, but where are its wheels?”

“We are never more fully alive, more completely ourselves, or more deeply engrossed in anything than when we are playing.” -Charles Schaefer

“My childhood may be over, but that doesn’t mean playtime is.” -Ron Olson

“As astronauts and space travelers children puzzle over the future; as dinosaurs and princesses they unearth the past. As weather reporters and restaurant workers they make sense of reality; as monsters and gremlins they make sense of the unreal.” -Gretchen Owocki

“Play is the highest form of research!” -attributed to Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“Always jump in the puddles! Always skip alongside the flowers. The only fights worth fighting are the pillow and food varieties.” -Terri Guillemets (born 1973)

“Surely all God’s people, however serious or savage, great or small, like to play. Whales and elephants, dancing, humming gnats, and invisibly small mischievous microbes - all are warm with divine radium and must have lots of fun in them.” -John Muir (1838 - 1914): “The Story of My Boyhood and Youth” (1913), pages 186 and 187

“The true object of all human life is play.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936)): “All Things Considered” (1908)

“Today I will do something just for the fun of it. I will find something to do that’s just for me, and I won’t worry about what I ‘should’ be doing. I will learn how to make myself feel good and enjoy life to the fullest.” -Melody Beattie (Melody Lynn Beattie (born 1948))

“To play is to yield oneself to a kind of magic.” -Hugo Rahner

Riddle: What does the following mean? A maximum amount of purposeful activity and a minimum amount of disport and dalliance cause Jack to become a dim-witted, stagnant dunce of the male species.
Solution: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in James Howell (1594 - 1666): “Proverbs in English, Italian, French, and Spanish” (1659)

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,
All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy.
-Maria Edgeworth (1768 - 1849): “Harry and Lucy Concluded” (1825)

“If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.” -John Cleese

“Whenever you trace the origin of a skill or practices which played a crucial role in the ascent of man, we usually reach the realm of play.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)

Have you played today?

“Children’s games are hardly games. Children are never more serious than when they play.” -Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)

“Imaginative play is a key that opens the doors of intuition.” -Frances Vaughan (1935)

“Work and play are an artificial pair of opposites, because the best kind of play contains an element of work, and the most productive kind of work must include something of the spirit of play.” -Sydney J. Harris (Sydney Justin Harris (1917 - 1986))

As Johnny Went A-Walking

As Johnny went a-walking, a-walking, a-walking
As Johnny went-a-walking one fine day
He met a little neighbor, a neighbor, a neighbor
And they began to play:
First they played at horses, horses, horses
First they played at horses
Just this way:
They played at aeroplanes, aeroplanes, aeroplanes (and so on).
Then they played at bunnies, bunnies, bunnies (and so on).
Then they played at fire engines, fire engines, fire engines (and so on).

by Author Unknown

“Play is the exultation of the possible.” -Martin Buber (1878 - 1965)

Let’s play ‘airplane’! Let’s play choo-choo train! Let’s play tag - you’re it! Let’s play swamp monster! Let’s play dinosaurs! Let’s play hide-and-seek! Let’s play space aliens! Let’s play cops and robbers! Let’s play follow-the-leader! Let’s play dress-up! Let’s play store! Can you think of other games we can play?

“All play is associated with intense thought activity and rapid intellectual growth.” -N. V. Scarfe: ‘Play is Education’ article published in the “Childhood Education” (November 1962) journal, Volume 39, Issue 3, page 120

“Play is our brain’s favorite way of learning.” -Diane Ackerman

“It is paradoxical that many educators and parents still differentiate between a time for learning and a time for play without seeing the vital connection between them.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

Playing Outdoors

What lovely things
    Outdoors I see!
The sun, a bird,
    A great big tree!
God put them there
    For you and me!

by Author Unknown

“The ability to play is essential to being a creative artist.” -Dewitt Jones

“It should be noted that children at play are not playing about; their games should be seen as their most serious-minded activity.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)): “Essais” (“Essays”) (1595), Book 1, chapter 23

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” -George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

“In our play we reveal what kind of people we are.” -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18)): “The Art of Love” (about C.E. 8)

“If animals play, this is because play is useful in the struggle for survival; because play practices and so perfects the skills needed in adult life.” -Susanne Millar

“Play: Instinctually guided unrestrained accelerated learning along unpredictable tangential paths leading to successful survival.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“To the art of working well a civilized race would add that art of playing well.” -George Santayana (1863 - 1952): “Little Essays” (1920)

Our minds need relaxation and give way
Unless we mix with work a little play.
-Molière (pseudonym of Jean-Baptiste Poquelin (1622 - 1673)): “The School for Husbands” (1661)

“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” -Plato (about 427 B.C.E. - about 347 B.C.E.)

“The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.” -Carl Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961))

“Play so that you may be serious.” -Anacharsis: as quoted in Aristotle: “Nicomachean Ethics” (about 350 B.C.E.)

“Each day, and the living of it, has to be a conscious creation in which discipline and order are relieved with some play and pure foolishness.” -May Sarton (pseudonym of Eleanore Marie Sarton (1912 - 1995))

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Play

Housework can wait,
     My children need kisses.
They want me to play,
     I’ll put off the dishes.

When they’re grown,
     I’ll keep the house spic’n’ span . . .
But children grow fast so
     I’ll play while I can.

by Leslie Prest

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“When children pretend, they are using their imaginations to move beyond the bounds of reality. A stick can be a magic wand. A sock can be a puppet. A small child can be a superhero.” -Fred Rogers (Fred McFeely ‘Mister’ Rogers (1928 - 2003))

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wanda.
Wanda, who?
Wanda come over and play with me?

“Having forgotten the importance of play or even how to play, we have invented professional sports leagues. Play is fun; sport as entertainment is vicarious fun, or fun minus the robust growth of mind and muscle and genuine camaraderie.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child at play.” -Heraclitus (Heraclitus of Ephesus (about 535 B.C.E. - 475 B.C.E.)) (500 B.C.E.)

“Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.” -Fred Rogers (Fred McFeely ‘Mister’ Rogers (1928 - 2003))

“Play is the only way the highest intelligence of humankind can unfold.” -Joseph Chilton Pierce

“This is the real secret of life - to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.” -Alan Watts (Alan Wilson Watts (1915 - 1973)): “Essential Lectures of Alan Watts” (1973), Volume 1: ‘Work as Play’; type of work: audio recording

“Play keeps us vital and alive. It gives us an enthusiasm for life that is irreplaceable. Without it, life just doesn’t taste good.” -Lucia Capacchione

“Life is playfulness . . .We need to play so that we can rediscover the magic all around us.” -Flora Colao

“Play keeps us fit physically and mentally.” -Stuart Brown

“The human urge to create comes from the play impulse.” -Carla Hannaford: “Smart Moves: Why Learning Is Not All in Your Head”

“Play brings joy. And it’s vital for problem solving, creativity, and relationships.” -Margarita Tartakovsky

Henny: Why did the child cross the playground?
Penny: To get to the other slide!

“Some days are simply meant for playing.” -Mary Anne Radmacher (Mary Anne Em Radmacher (born 1957)), website: https://www.maryanneradmacher.net/

“The world is your playground. Why aren’t you playing?” -Ellie Katz

Every day, it is beneficial for all of us to get away from the little boxes in which we live and the little screens we stare at for hours without end, and go outside - do you remember the place called ‘outside’? Sure you do! It’s where birds and squirrels and grasshoppers and people live and learn and grow and play and have fun! So why not head out there right now and . . . Make Fun Of Life!

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Shoes and Footwear

10/17/2021

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Picture of a green grassy area with several pairs of shoes lined up in a circle with the toes facing inward.

Overheard: “I have enough shoes.”

The earliest known footwear is a pair of sandals that date back to about 7,000 B.C.E. However, anatomical analysis of early humans seems to indicate that we may have begun wearing shoes as early as 40,000 years ago. Before then, we ran around barefoot and ate rocks. What’s that . . . oh, apparently, early humans did not eat rocks . . . just wild plants, raw meat, and bugs. Aren’t you glad you wear shoes?

Dustin: Do your shoes have holes in them?
Austin: No.
Dustin: Then how did you get your feet into them?

Shoe store sign: Limited Time Offer - Buy Two Shoes - And Get A Third Shoe Absolutely Free!

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Edith: Who always goes to bed wearing shoes?
Edna: A horse, of course.

Shoes all over the world were identical until 1822, when left-footed and right-footed shoes were made for the first time in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States of America.

Sonya: Why did the two shoes not get along?
Sonny: Because they both thought they were ‘right.’

If the shoe fits, it must be some kind of trick - don’t be fooled!

Overheard: Your shoes certainly make you look ‘well-heeled’!

The boots Neil Armstrong wore when he walked on the Moon are still floating around somewhere in outer space. He had to leave his boots there so that he could bring as many Moon rocks as possible back to Earth.

Ida: What has a tongue but cannot speak?
Emma: A shoe.

If the shoe fits, buy a pair in every color.

Sabrina: What runs around all day and then lies on the floor with its tongue hanging out?
Katrina: Your shoe!

In the silent movie, “The Gold Rush” (August 1925), comedic actor Charlie Chaplin actually ate his shoe. He portrayed his signature character, ‘The Tramp’ as a gold prospector who was trapped in a cabin during a snowstorm. Starving, he decided to boil his boot and eat the laces like spaghetti. Fortunately for Mr. Chaplin’s digestive system, the shoe used in the movie was made of licorice candy provided by the American Licorice Company.

“High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))

Tutor: Can you name at least six things you can wear on your feet that begin with the letter ‘s’?
Student: Sandals, shoes, skates, skis, slippers, sneakers, snowshoes, socks, stilts, and stockings.

“It is totally impossible to be well-dressed in cheap shoes.” -Hardy Amies (Edwin Hardy Amies (1909 - 2003))

Many years ago, two salesmen were sent by a British shoe manufacturer to Africa to investigate and report on market potential. The first salesman reported back, “There is no potential here - nobody wears shoes.” The second salesman reported back, “There is massive potential here - nobody wears shoes.”

If the shoe fits your foot, it will not fit your budget.

Shoes and Footwear Facts
- The bottom of a shoe that touches the ground is called the ‘sole.’
- The edge around the opening of a shoe is called the ‘collar.’
- The holes in shoes that laces are fed through are called ‘eyelets.’
- The part of a shoe above the sole is called the ‘upper.’
- The plastic casings on the ends of shoelaces that prevent them from unraveling are called ‘aglets.’
- The tongue of a shoe will not lick your feet.

“Give a girl the right pair of shoes and she’ll conquer the world.” -Marilyn Monroe (pseudonym of Norma Jean Mortenson Baker (1926 - 1962))

Joe’s Shoes

The shoes of old Eskimo Joe
Fell apart as he walked in the snow.
     “Have you needle and thread?”
     I enquired, but he said,
“No, igloo them, not sew them, you know.”

by Author Unknown

“A man can walk without shoes, but shoes can’t walk without a man.” -George Daly

Squeakers: Shoes that mice wear.

Gregory: Who wears two pairs of shoes, both at the same time?
Geoffrey: Mules - as do horses, ponies, and mammoth donkeys used for riding.

“You cannot put the same shoe on every foot.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

If the shoe fits, you are asleep and having a dream about shoes.

“The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.” -C. G. Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961))

Melody: What is made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
Clarabelle: A shoe.

A typical pair of casual shoes will last for about 500 miles of walking.

This just in: There is more to life than shoes. We are kidding, of course!

If the shoe fits, it must be some kind of magical shoe.

Shoes and Footwear Quiz
- Describe the perfect pair of shoes.
- In what types of jobs do people need steel-toed boots or shoes?
- What are aglets and what is their purpose?
- What are arch supports?
- What are sensible shoes?
- What features should a person look for in a shoe?
- What is a padded collar on a shoe?
- What items make up a shoeshine kit?
- Which of the following shoe toe shapes is best for your feet: pointed, squared, or rounded?

Otis: What does a shoemaker use to repair shoes?
Otto: Toe-nails.

“A handsome shoe often pinches the foot.” -Author Unknown

Presto: What results from wearing tight shoes.

A man walked into a shoe store, and tried on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asked the sales clerk. “Well . . . they feel a bit tight,” replied the man. The assistant bent down and looked at the shoes and the man’s feet. “Try pulling out on the tongue,” offered the clerk. “Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth,” the man said.

Al: What goes, “Thump, thump, thump, squish! Thump, thump, thump, squish!”?
Fred: An elephant wearing a soggy tennis shoe.

“Never buy shoes early in the day when your feet are their smallest.” -Frances Patiky Stein

The best time to buy shoes is when you are cranky and tired from walking and standing around all day, say for example, after work or school. This is because your feet are likely to be at their largest at this time of the day. That is right, your feet change in size throughout the day. It is shocking, we know. In the morning, you arise with your feet well-rested, but as the day progresses, you put a lot of pressure on your feet, causing them to spread out and swell up. If you try on shoes at the start of the day, well, that is when your feet are small, and if you were to continue to wear that same pair of shoes all day long, by the end of the day, your feet would not be happy, because they will be crammed into shoes that are too tiny.

Maxwell: Why do cobblers (shoemakers) go to Heaven?
Maxine: Because they have good soles.

“If the shoe fits, it’s too expensive.” -Adrienne Gusoff

A man walked into a shoe store and asked for a pair of shoes in size eight. The well-trained salesman said, “But sir, you need an eleven or an eleven-and-a-half.” “Just bring me a size eight,” the man said. The sales guy brought them out and the man stuffed his feet into them and stood up in obvious pain. He turned to the salesman and said, “I’ll take them. You see, I have lost my house to the tax collector, I live with my mother-in-law, my daughter ran off with her no-account boyfriend, and my business has filed for bankruptcy. The only pleasure I have left is at the end of the day when I go home and take my shoes off.”

“If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear shoes that are too tight.” -Author Unknown: “The Houghton Line” (November 1965)

“I have tennis shoes with little rhinestones that I slip on if I exercise. But I always wear heels, even around the house. I’m such a short little thing, I can’t reach my kitchen cabinets.” -Dolly Parton (born 1946)

“Sure, I may walk around as if everything is fine . . . but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. I think that my shoe is trying to eat my sock, and that is a scary thought.” -Author Unknown

Darlene: What did the shoe say to the gum?
Darla: “Stick with me and we’ll go places!”

If the shoe fits, it’s obviously on somebody else’s foot.

Many people do not know that feet can increase by one-and-a-half shoe sizes or more throughout their lifetimes. A person’s feet can flatten and spread out as he or she ages, causing a permanent increase in both length and width. Additionally, changes in weight, surgery, amount of time spent standing and walking on the feet, lifting and moving heavy items all day long and other physical exertion at work and in play, and pregnancy, can cause foot size to increase. You may want to consider this the next time you go shoe shopping, especially if you are torturing yourself by trying to wear the same shoe size now that you wore years ago as a teenager or young adult. Try on slightly larger size shoes in slightly wider widths, perhaps with more toe room. Your feet will thank you!

“I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside, ‘Made around the corner.’” -Frank Carson

Shoes called sneakers were first produced in about 1800. They had a simple rubber sole design, with the name ‘sneaker’ coming from the fact that their soles are so smooth and yielding that they hardly make a sound on the ground.

Hubert: What kind of shoes do detectives wear?
Hugh: Sneakers!

Another name for a detective is a ‘gumshoe,’ because detectives have traditionally worn soft-soled shoes.

If the shoe fits, buy it.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pear.
Pear, who?
Pear of shoes!

Shoestring: What every self-made businessperson claims to have built a business on.

You can tell a lot about a person’s character by the shoes he or she wears.

Need money? How about this zany idea: Become a ‘shoe reading’ expert. People come to you, you look at their shoes, you tell them what their shoes reveal about them, and you then advise them on what kind of shoes to buy if they want people to have a different opinion of them based on their shoes. This idea makes a lot more sense than palm reading and other methods of ‘fortune telling.’

Overheard: So many shoes . . . and only two feet!

“Your shoes are only as good as the laces they’re attached to.” -Greg Sampson

Norma: Why did the shoelaces arrive late at the party?
Nora: Because they got all tied up earlier.

If the shoe fits, it is too good to be true.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe . . . rumor has it that it once belonged to a giant who lived at the top of a beanstalk . . . the old woman was ambling along, looking for affordable housing in a safe neighborhood for herself and her children, when all of a sudden, a really big shoe dropped out of the sky. Aren’t fairy tales fun?

Emma: What is sixty feet long, green, and has two tongues?
Emily: The Jolly Green Giant’s sneakers!

If the shoe fits, buy the store.

“I stand corrected!” said the man in the orthopedic shoes.

Shoe store sign: Buy One Shoe - Get Second Shoe Free!

The ‘boat shoe’ was invented by Paul Sperry. He modeled the sole of the shoe after his dog’s paw.

Ernie: What did one shoe say to the other shoe?
Bernie: “You stay here, and I’ll go on ahead to see what’s underfoot.”

“Shoes divide men into three classes. Some men wear their father’s shoes. They make no decisions of their own. Some are unthinkingly shod by the crowd. The strong man is his own cobbler. He insists on making his own choices. He walks in his own shoes.” -S. D. Gordon

Here’s a great title for a song: “I’ve Got the Squeaky Shoes Blues, Yeah!” Now we just need you to write the lyrics, or words, to go along with the song title.

“Shoes speak louder than words.” -Author Unknown

“Shoes squeak louder than words.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Moses: What kind of shoes are made from banana skins?
Moe: Slippers!

“Between saying and doing many a pair of shoes is worn out.” -Author Unknown: Italian proverb

One way to determine if shoes are a good fit is to wiggle your toes. If the shoes are roomy enough for you to wiggle your toes, that means your toes are less likely to be squeezed together in a space that is too tight for them, at which time they would cry for help the only way they know how, which is by sending pain signals to your brain.

If the shoe fits, you have somehow been magically transported to a fairy tale land.

Riddle:
I run over fields and woods all day;
Under a bed at night, I wait not alone
With long tongue hanging out,
I will be filled in the morn.
What am I?
Solution:
I am a shoe.

Customer: Do you have alligator shoes?
Clerk: Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?

If the shoe fits, you are daydreaming again . . . time to get back to work.

City Slicker: How far is it to Springerville?
Country Bumpkin: Well, I don’t rightly know, but I’ll ask Jethro. He’ll know. Jethro’s traveled all over. He’s got shoes!

“If the shoe fits, you’re not allowing for growth.” -Robert N. Coons

“Shoes aren’t for sitting petty in, shoes are made for walking in.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

This is MFOL! . . . and that’s everything we have cobbled together about shoes . . . What’s that? . . . Our shoes are calling to us . . . seems they want to go out walking . . . maybe we will see you out there . . .

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Attire and Accessories

10/14/2021

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Picture of a group of people dressed for business meeting and shaking hands in an office.

“The way we dress affects the way we think, the way we feel, the way we act, and the way others react to us.” -Judith Rasband

“Dress as if you have made something of yourself in the world, even if you have not.” -Author Unknown

“Never wear anything that panics the cat.” -P. J. O’Rourke (Patrick Jake O’Rourke (born 1947))

“Your shoes have to match your belt. That’s rule number one for guys. You can’t put the brown shoes with the black belt. Or a brown belt with a black wristwatch. Just don’t do it! Also, I don’t like boots with suits. And when you wear sneakers, make sure they go with your shirt.” -Ashton Kutcher (Christopher Ashton Kutcher (born 1978))

Riddle: What has two legs but cannot run?
Solution: A pair of trousers.

“Successful dress is really no more than achieving good taste and the look of the upper middle class.” -John T. Molloy (born 1937): “Dress for Success” (1975)

What do your clothes and other articles you wear or carry say about you? Do they accurately tell people who you really are? Are they giving people the wrong impression or the right impression, insofar as how you wish to be regarded?

One of the oldest pieces of women’s clothing discovered to date is a skirt similar to a Pacific-islander grass skirt, with bronze ornaments on the lower edge that would have jingled when its wearer walked or danced. Was it an article of clothing or a musical instrument?

“When in doubt, wear red.” -Bill Blass (William Ralph ‘Bill’ Blass (1922 - 2002))

“The well-dressed man never stands out in a crowd; his elegance sets him apart.” -Oscar de la Renta (pseudonym of Óscar Arístides Renta Fiallo (1932 - 2014))

Andy: Why were the suspenders sent to jail?
Barney: For holding up a pair of trousers.

“A well-dressed man is the best accessory a woman can have.” -Coco Chanel (Gabrielle Bonheur ‘Coco’ Chanel (1883 - 1971))

“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater . . . suggest that he wear a tail.” -Fran Lebowitz (Frances Ann ‘Fran’ Lebowitz (born 1950))

Jesse: Why are you wearing that fur coat?
Bessie: To stay warm, that’s what fur!

Animal hides and furs were one of the first types of clothing humans wore, and they continue to be worn even now for their warmth in areas that have extremely cold climates. However, in most places today, wearing fur is regarded as a luxury and has been made increasingly socially unacceptable through the efforts of animal rights activists.

“No one in the world needs a mink coat but a mink.” -Murray Banks (1917 - 2008)

“If you look good and dress well, you don’t need a purpose in life.” -Robert Pante

Until the mid-Middle Ages, clothes were usually fastened with ties (short lengths of rawhide or other material), beads-and-loops, or toggles. Lacing similar to the kind now used on shoes was still favored on clothes until the late 1600’s, as the best way to create a fit that could grow or shrink with one’s figure, during those times of alternating feast and famine. The first buttons as we recognize them appeared on clothes in the Middle Ages as a form of decoration. Zippers and Velcro would appear only much later in history.

“People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.” -Author Unknown

The YKK seen on most zippers stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushikkaisha, which roughly translates as the Yoshida Company Limited. Founded in 1934, YKK is the most widely-recognized zipper maker in the world.

Overheard: Amazing - you just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes!

Old Person of Brill

There was an old person of Brill,
Who purchased a shirt with a frill;
     But they said, “Don’t you wish,
     You mayn’t look like a fish,
You obsequious old person of Brill?”

by Edward Lear (1812 - 1888)

The clingy material Velcro was inspired by Burdock seeds, which have soft stickers that cling to clothing.

Not long ago, most people wore clothing made at home, usually of wool, linen, or less commonly, cotton. First, animal or plant fibers had to be spun into long pieces of thread, and then the thread had to be woven into cloth. The fabric was either left in its natural color or colored with dyes made from plants.

“The best-dressed woman is one whose clothes wouldn’t look too strange in the country.” -Hardy Amies (Edwin Hardy Amies (1909 - 2003))

“Dressing well is a form of good manners.” -Tom Ford

During the 1860’s, dresses were so wide that women often found themselves stuck while trying to get through doorways. But women alone cannot be blamed for this silliness, because historically and right up to the present time, both men and women have been fashion designers and dressmakers.

“Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“To me, clothing is a form of self-expression - there are hints about who you are in what you wear.” -Marc Jacobs (born 1963)

Nothing to Wear

Dresses for breakfasts, and dinners, and balls;
Dresses to sit in, and stand in, and walk in;
Dresses to dance in, and flirt in, and talk in;
Dresses in which to do nothing at all;
Dresses for Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall.

by William Allen Butler (1825 - 1902)

The invention of the automobile and the bicycle had a noticeable influence on women’s fashions. In the 1900’s, skirts became shorter to enable women to step into automobiles and climb onto bicycles more easily.

“There’s no such thing as a designer of menswear - it’s only history. The suit around the world is based on the English suit, which began in about 1670.” -Hardy Amies (Edwin Hardy Amies (1909 - 2003))

“Fashions fade, style is eternal.” -Yves Saint-Laurent (Yves Henri Donat Mathieu-Saint-Laurent (1936 - 2008))

By law, in Carmel, New York, United States of America, men are not allowed to go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.

“When you can’t do something truly useful, you tend to vent the pent up energy in something useless but available, like snappy dressing.” -Lois McMaster Bujold (born 1949)

“My dad’s pants kept creeping up on him. By sixty-five, he was just a pair of pants and a head.” -Jeff Altman (born 1951)

Sharp Dresser

I once had a cousin named Bruce
Whose clothing was always quite spruce.
     To people who stared
     He frankly declared
“Without them, I’d be a recluse.”

by Author Unknown

Harry S Truman was a haberdasher before becoming an American President. In partnership with his old Army buddy Edward Jacobson, he owned the Truman & Jacobson haberdashery at 104 West 12th Street in Kansas City, Kansas, United States of America. The pair started selling suits and accessories for gentlemen on 28 November 1919, and continued in the business until the Great Depression of the 1930’s forced them out of business.

“I often take a brand-new suit or hat and throw it up against the wall a few times to get that stiff, square newness out of it.” -Fred Astaire (pseudonym of Frederick Austerlitz (1899 - 1987))

The wasting moth ne’er spoil’d my best array;
The cause was this: I wore it every day.
-Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744)

“Over the years I have learned that what is important in a dress is the woman who is wearing it.” -Yves Saint-Laurent (Yves Henri Donat Mathieu-Saint-Laurent (1936 - 2008))

Khakis: What you need to start a car in Boston.

Women’s trousers, including pants and slacks and jeans, as worn now, were not regarded as acceptable for wearing in public until the Second World War. It was during the war that women began to do work that had formerly been done more commonly by men. Able-bodied men had been sent off to distant battlefields, and with a shortage of men to do work, manufacturers, businesses, farmers, and even the government began hiring women workers in their place. Before that time, women usually wore dresses or skirts with blouses, and worked in the home.

“Don’t get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny.” -Kathryn Carpenter

An increased emphasis on youth culture began in America during the 1950’s. Clothing styles started to lean toward the younger folks. The poodle skirt, which is a circle skirt having an embroidered dog and leash on the front, became fashionable. Who says we can’t put a bit of whimsy into our attire?

Jeans are trousers made from a heavy cotton fabric called denim. ‘Denim’ was originally called ‘serge de Nîmes,’ and came from the French seaside manufacturing town of Nîmes starting in the late 17th century. Over time, ‘de Nîmes’ was shortened to ‘denim.’ Jeans themselves were named after Genoan sailors from Genoa, Italy, who were locally known as ‘Genes,’ and who wore the material as clothing. Jeans were further developed as heavy-duty work trousers in the 1870’s by Levi Strauss, in California, United States of America. Levi’s jeans were originally dyed brown, but later were dyed the now-familiar blue color. Because all jeans are made from denim cloth, the term ‘denim jeans’ is redundant. One bale of cotton can be made into as many as 215 pairs of jeans.

“I have jeans with holes in them and I have nice jeans. I have casual and I have dressy jeans. I’ve got all kinds.” -Amanda Seyfried (Amanda Michelle Seyfried (born 1985))

Bell-bottom trousers were first worn by navy sailors, and were introduced to the fashion world by the hippies, with widespread popularity following soon thereafter. Also known as ‘flared’ pants, bell-bottoms are a garment associated with the societal trends of the 1960’s and 1970’s. They are a clothing article that many people still consider as an essential item in women’s wardrobes, and can even be paired with blouses that have flared sleeves and platform shoes to complete the hip flower-child look.

“Sweater: Garment worn by a child when his mother is feeling chilly.” -Ambrose Bierce (Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (1842 - 1914))

“You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and truth.” -Henrik Ibsen (Henrik Johan ‘Henrik’ Ibsen (1828 - 1906)): “An Enemy of the People” (1882), act 5

“Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.” -Janet Lane (Janet Lane-Claypon (1877 -1967))

Business people wear uniforms, though they may not think of what they wear as being such. They usually have greater leeway in choices of colors and patterns and styles and in choosing where to buy their clothes. Uniforms rules for business people are either stated openly in employee manuals and by workplace supervisors, or individual business people are expected to arrive at their own understanding of how to dress based on their own observations of other business people.

“With an evening coat and a white tie, anybody, even a stockbroker, can gain a reputation for being civilized.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

Women’s clothes have buttons on the left side, while men’s clothes have buttons on the right side. When buttons were invented, they were expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Because women were dressed by maids or servants, and because most people are right-handed, dressmakers placed the buttons where they would be easily reached. Men’s clothes had the button on the right, because they tended to dress themselves. Additionally, as men’s and women’s clothing became more similar and was mass produced and mass marketed, some type of way to easily tell men’s and women’s clothing apart was needed.

“It is difficult to see why lace should be so expensive, it is mostly holes.” -Mary Wilson Little (possibly born about 1880)

Fond pride of dress is sure a very curse;
Ere fancy you consult, consult your purse.
-Author Unknown

Overheard: I’ve been shopping all my life and still have nothing to wear!

Frank: Do you have holes in your clothes?
Ernest: No, of course not.
Frank: Then how do you get them on?

Evelyn: I think the clothes dryer must have shrunk my blouse. The collar is so tight that I can hardly breathe.
Daniel: Don’t be silly; you have put your head through the buttonhole.

“Dress like you are already the successful person you hope to become.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I wear V-neck shirts. I can’t wear a regular neck shirt, it hurts. And I especially hate turtlenecks. Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy all day.” -Mitch Hedberg (1968 - 2005)

“Labels on garments stating ‘One Size Fits All’ or even One Size Fits Most’ are a very un-funny joke that has been played on all of us for far too long - is there a lawyer somewhere out there who is willing to defend us against this kind of false advertising?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Euripides.
Euripides, who?
Euripides pants and you won’t get another pair!

“Know first who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly.” -Euripides (480 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“Nothing else you can wear will ever make you feel as warm as a wedding band.” -Marilyn vos Savant (born 1946): “Ask Marilyn” (25 September 2005)

“Dress shabbily and they remember the dress, dress impeccably and they remember the woman.” -Coco Chanel (Gabrielle Bonheur ‘Coco’ Chanel (1883 - 1971))

Joshua: Why was the well-dressed man picked for the job?
Ezekiel: He was ‘best-suited’ for it.

Marie de Medici, a member of that famous Italian family and a 17th-century queen of France, had expensive tastes in clothes. One of her dresses was outfitted with 39,000 tiny pearls and 3,000 diamonds, and cost the equivalent of $20 million at the time it was made, in 1606. She wore it just once.

“She wears her clothes as if they had been thrown on her with a pitchfork.” -Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745)

“You’re never fully dressed without a smile.” -Martin Charnin (born 1934)

“Dress for success. Image is very important. People judge you by the way you look on the outside.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

Question: What did the shoe say to the hat?
Answer: You go ‘on a-head,’ and I‘ll follow you ‘on foot.’

“What belts do is finish a look. Whether you’re wearing pants, jeans, a dress or skirt, a belt gives the outfit a finishing touch. It’s polished.” -Julie Helman

“Good clothes open all doors.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734)

You will always look simply smashing in properly chosen garments . . . much more to learn is coming up next . . . on MFOL!

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