Make Fun Of Life!

The Computer Technician Is Here!

4/24/2019

We will be right back with more highly amusing stuff for you after the computer technician has finished installing the new software . . . and once we have regained our composure after losing more than 3,000 important files . . .

If you came here looking for fun, you are in the right place. Just travel down this page, skipping the ridiculous topics, until you come to the ones that appeal to you. When you have a moment, be sure to explore some of the other pages on the website, such as the Inspiration and Society pages, viewable by clicking on the menu bar above.

So . . . what exactly does a computer taste like?

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Employment and Work

4/24/2019

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Jack

All work and no play
makes Jack a dull boy;
All play and no work
makes Jack a mere toy.

by Author Unknown

“I tell you, sir, the only safeguard of order and discipline in the modern world is a standardized worker with interchangeable parts. That would solve the entire problem of management.” -Jean Giraudoux (Hippolyte Jean Giraudoux (1882 - 1944))

“Doctor Lillian Gilbreth, professor of management at Purdue University, studied women in a dress factory. Some of them were limp with fatigue; some bright-eyed and wide awake. Yet all the women had been working the same number of hours. Doctor Gilbreth found that most of the wide-awake ones had plans for the evening - a party or a date - and were anticipating a good time. The tired ones were those who had nothing to look forward to.” -Amy Selwyn: as quoted in “Coronet” magazine

Let us realize that:
the privilege to work is a gift,
the power to work is a blessing,
the love of work is success!
-David O. McKay (David Oman McKay (1873 - 1970))

Boss: The person who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

“Work banishes those three great evils: boredom, vice, and poverty.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom - I’ll show you how.”

The first United States Minimum Wage Law was instituted in 1938. The minimum wage was set at 25 cents per hour.

“Work is either fun or drudgery. It depends on your attitude. I like fun.” -Colleen C. Barrett (born 1944)

“It doesn’t matter whose payroll you are on, you are working for yourself.” -Author Unknown

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

One manager let employees know how valuable they are with the following memo:

You Arx A Kxy Pxrson

Xvxn though my typxwritxr is an old modxl, it works vxry wxll - xxcxpt for onx kxy. You would think that with all thx othxer kxys functioning propxrly, onx kxy not working would hardly bx noticxd; but just onx kxy out of whack sxxms to ruin thx wholx xffort.

You may say to yoursxlf - Wxll, I’m only onx pxrson. No onx will noticx if I don’t do my bxst. But it doxs makx a diffxrxncx, bxcausx an xffxctivx organization nxxds activx participation by xvxry onx to thx bxst of his or hxr ability.

So, thx nxxt timx you think you arx not important, rxmxmbxr my old typxwritxr. You arx a kxy pxrson.

by Thx Boss

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

“The highest reward from your working is not what you get for it but what you become by it.” -Sydney J. Harris (Sydney Justin Harris (1917 - 1986))

Employee: Sir, I’ve been with you for twenty-seven years, and I’ve never before asked for a raise.
Boss: That’s why you’ve been with me for twenty-seven years.

The following was found in an employee handbook: “Be thankful for your problems, because if they were less difficult, someone with less ability and lower pay would have your job.”

The Fable of the Crow and the Rabbit.

A crow was sitting in a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground under the tree, and took his leisure. Suddenly, a fox appeared, pounced on the rabbit, and ate it. The moral of the story is, to be able to lounge around and do nothing all day, you must be sitting very, very high up.

by Author Unknown

“Variety may be the spice of life, but monotony provides the groceries.” -Author Unknown

Workplace Rules
1. The boss is always right.
2. When the boss is wrong, refer to Rule 1.

On the morning of the last day of school, Johnny’s mother went into his bedroom and hollered, “Wake up and get ready for school!” Johnny pulled the sheets up over his face and muttered, “Give me one good reason why I should go to school today.” His mother answered, “Well, for starters, you are the school principal.”

A guy showed up late for work. The boss yelled, “You should’ve been here at 8:30!” The guy replied, “Why? What happened at 8:30?”

Career Advice

Don’t be
A jerk
At work.

by Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“A human being must have occupation, if he or she is not to become a nuisance to the world.” -Dorothy L. Sayers (Dorothy Leigh Sayers (1893 - 1957)): “Are Women Human?” (1938); type of work: address given to a women’s society

“I have to take my paycheck to the bank. It’s too little to go by itself.” -Author Unknown

“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.” -James Goldsmith (1933 - 1997)

“. . . a fair day’s wages for a fair day’s work.” -Author Unknown: as quoted by Alpheus Cary in a speech (7 October 1824) at Faneuil Hall, Boston, Massachusetts, United States of America

Personnel Director, speaking to new trainee: “. . . or, if you prefer, you can elect to skip coffee breaks entirely, and retire three years sooner.”

“Give sail to ability.” -Author Unknown: Japanese proverb

“Now, before I agree to take this job,” the young applicant said, “I have one question. Are the hours long?” “Well,” the manager said, “we try our best to keep them limited to sixty minutes.”

A meeting was in progress when all the lights went out. The department head asked everyone present to raise their hands. As soon as everyone complied, the lights went on again. The department head said, “We have just proved the truth of the saying, ‘Many hands make light work.’”

“What we do for a living does not matter as much as how we do it.” -Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924)

“Business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before important meetings.” -Scott Adams

Overheard: At the end of the work day, we tell our employees, “You are fired. Come back tomorrow, and we’ll re-hire you.”

“There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes.” -William Bennett (William John Bennett (born 1943))

The boss joined a group of workers in a meeting and told some jokes he’d heard recently. Everybody laughed loudly. Everybody, that is, except Bonnie. When the boss noticed that he was getting no reaction from Bonnie, he said, “What’s the matter, Bonnie? No sense of humor?” “My sense of humor is fine,” she said. “But I don’t have to laugh. I’m starting a job with another company tomorrow.”

Employee Breakroom Notice: Your Mother Does Not Work Here, So You Will Have To Clean Up Your Own Messes.

“Thank God every morning when you get up that you have something to do that day which must be done, whether you like it or not. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you temperance and self-control, diligence and strength of will, cheerfulness and content, and a hundred virtues which the idle never know.” -Charles Kingsley (1819 - 1875)

“Don’t let your superiors know that you are better than they are.” -Arthur Bloch (born 1948)

So, you are thinking of becoming a comedian, musician, artist, song writer, actor, inventor, poet . . . these are interesting ‘sidelines,’ but as they say, “Don’t quit your day job,” because you will need a means to support yourself while you pursue your creative ideas, and that means having a ‘real job’ with a real income that pays the rent and puts food on the table during the years it will take for you to develop a talent and years it will take for you to be discovered. Yes, you should definitely pursue your dreams - while continuing to work at the job that provides you with an income.

A man said to his wife, “I don’t want to go to work today. It’s a jungle out there.” She said, “Don’t worry, I put a banana in your lunchbox.”

“You don’t get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour.” -Jim Rohn (1930 - 2009)

Desk: A waste-paper basket with drawers.

“We spend most of our lives working. So why do so few people have a good time doing it?” -Richard Branson (Richard Charles Nicholas Branson (born 1950)), as quoted in the “New York Times” (18 February 1993)

“Don’t bother to boast of your work to others; good work speaks for itself.” -Author Unknown

“Without work, all life goes rotten.” -Albert Camus (1913 - 1960)

“They laughed when they saw him put iodine on his paycheck. They didn’t know he had an awful cut in his salary.” -Author Unknown

“Doing a job right the first time gets the job done.” -Author Unknown

“Everything considered, work is less boring than amusing oneself.” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)

“Keep your eye on the ball, your shoulder to the wheel, and your ear to the ground - now try to work in that position.” -Author Unknown

“The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.” -James Baldwin (1924 - 1987)

“I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth, even if it costs them their jobs.” -Samuel Goldwyn (born Szmuel Gelbfisz (1879 - 1974))

“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” -Peter Drucker (Peter Ferdinand Drucker (1909 - 2005))

“Work is more fun than fun.” -Noël Coward (1899 - 1973)

Boss to new employee: Amazing - you’ve been with us only two days and already you’re a month behind.

“Labor, if it were not necessary for existence, would be indispensable for the happiness of man.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

Overheard: I was thinking that with a few more deductions, my take-home pay wouldn’t be enough to get me there. Then, it finally happened - the deductions and withholdings have now exceeded my earnings, and last week, the company didn’t send me a pay check, they sent me a bill!

“Work offers us the opportunity to discover who we are and what we can do.” -Author Unknown

“Work is the basis of living. I’ll never retire. A man’ll rust out quicker than he’ll wear out.” -Harland Sanders (Harland David ‘Colonel’ Sanders (1890 - 1980))

Overheard: When I asked for a work break, my supervisor said, “You don’t need a break. We gave you one when we hired you.”

Work: Something to do between weekends.

“As a remedy against all ills - poverty, sickness, and melancholy - only one thing is absolutely necessary: a liking for work.” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)

“By 1960, work will be limited to three hours a day.” -John Langdon-Davies (1897 - 1971)

“Be a friendly person to your co-workers. Say nice things to them. Help them when they least expect it.” -Jeffrey Gitomer (born 1946)

“It is the first of all problems for a man to find out what kind of work he is to do in this Universe.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881): “Address at Edinburgh” (2 April 1866)

“Find something in life you can give the best of yourself to.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Well, it is time to go to work again . . . we hope to see you right back here at MFOL! when your shift ends . . .

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Actions and Doing

4/19/2019

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“If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” -Thomas Edison (Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931))

“The undertaking of a new action brings new strength.” -Evenius (42 B.C.E. - C.E. 13)

“We are built to conquer environment, solve problems, achieve goals; and we find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975): “Psycho-Cybernetics” (1960)

“The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“There are generations yet unborn whose very lives will be shifted and shaped by the moves you make and the actions you take today.” -Andy Andrews (born 1959): “The Butterfly Effect: How Your Life Matters” (September 2009)

There are three ways to get things done:
1. Do it yourself.
2. Hire someone to do it.
3. Forbid your children to do it.
-Author Unknown

“If you limit your actions in life to things that nobody can possibly find fault with, you will not do much.” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898))

“Whatever you want to do, do it now. There are only so many tomorrows.” -Michael Landon (born Eugene Michael Orowitz (1936 - 1991))

“The smallest action is better than the largest plan.” -John Graves (John Alexander Graves (1920 - 2013))
John Graves

“Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t.” -Jerry Rice (Jerry Lee Rice, Senior (born 1962))

“Reality is not the same to the doer as it is to the sayer.” -Haki R. Madhubuti (born 1942 as Don Luther Lee)

“If we are ever in doubt about what to do, it is a good rule to ask ourselves what we shall wish on the morrow that we had done.” -John Lubbock (1834 - 1913)

“‘ACT’ is an acronym standing for ‘Action Changes Things.’” -Author Unknown

“Whatever you do, do it with all your might. Work at it, early and late, in season and out of season, not leaving a stone unturned, and never deferring for a single hour that which can be done just as well now.” -P. T. Barnum (Phineas Taylor Barnum (1810 - 1891))

“Actions speak louder than words.” -Author Unknown

“They can because they think they can.” -Vergil (Publius Vergilius Maro, also known as Virgil (70 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.))

“Some men have thousands of reasons why they cannot do what they want to, when all they need is one reason why they can.” -Willis Whitney (Willis Rodney Whitney (1868 - 1958))

“Deeds not words.” -Author Unknown

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned.” -Peter Marshall (1902 - 1949)

“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late.” -Marie Beynon Ray (1886 - 1969)

“Doing is better than saying.” -Thomas Draxe (unknown - 1618)

“The price of inaction is far greater than the cost of making a mistake.” -Meister Eckhart (Eckhart von Hochheim (1260 - 1327))

“If you want a thing done well, do it yourself.” -Author Unknown: French proverb

“Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“It is time for us all to stand and cheer for the doer, the achiever - the one who recognizes the challenge and does something about it.” -Vince Lombardi (Vincent Thomas ‘Vince’ Lombardi (1913 - 1970))

“I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts.” -John Locke (1632 - 1704): “An Essay Concerning Human Understanding” (1690)

“Never undertake anything for which you wouldn’t have the courage to ask the blessings of Heaven.” -G. C. Lichtenberg (Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799))

“It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little. Do what you can.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845)

“The best time to do a thing is when it can be done.” -William Pickens (1881 - 1954): “Fifty Years after Emancipation” (1912)

“Action is the foundational key to all success.” -Pablo Picasso (Pablo Diego Jose Francisco do Paula Juan Nepomuceno Cipriano de la Santissima Trinidad (1881 - 1971))

“Heaven never helps the man who will not act.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“I move forward in my life every day, even if it’s only a tiny step, because I know that great things are accomplished with tiny moves, but nothing is accomplished by standing still.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Do lovely things, not dream them, all day long.” -Charles Kingsley (1819 - 1875): “Andromeda and Other Poems” (1858), ‘A Farewell to C. E. G.’

“Many people carry a Can’t Do It List around in their heads as they travel on their journey in life, and it becomes their guide for every decision in their lives and for every moment they are alive and awake. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if that list were transformed into a Possibilities List, or a Things to Try List?” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“What you do every day should contribute to giving your life meaning. If it doesn’t, why are you doing it?” -Don Hutcheson (Don ‘Hutch’ Hutcheson)

“Good intentions are not enough. They’ve never put an onion in the soup yet.” -Sonya Levien (born Sara Opesken (1888 - 1960))

“In doing we learn.” -George Herbert (1593 - 1633)

Throw away your wishbone,
Straighten up your backbone,
Stick out your jawbone,
And go to it!
-Author Unknown

“If you don’t have time to do it right, you must have time to do it over.” -Author Unknown

“The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are, the more leisure we have.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

Out of the strain of the Doing,
Into the peace of the Done.
-Julia Louise Woodruff (Julia Louise Matilda Woodruff (1832 - 1909)): ‘Harvest Home’ poem published in “Sunday at Home” (1910) magazine

“What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“Never mistake motion for action.” -Ernest Hemingway (Ernest Miller Hemingway (1899 - 1961))

“Every living creature that comes into the world has something allotted to him to perform, therefore he should not stand an idle spectator of what others are doing.” -Sarah Kirby Trimmer (1741 - 1810): “Fabulous Histories” (1821)

“The deeds you do today may be the only sermon some people will hear today.” - Francis of Assisi (1181 - 1226)

“The world is blessed most by men who do things and not by those who merely talk about them.” -James Oliver

“Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“Be content to act, and leave the talking to others.” -Baltasar Gracián (1601 - 1658)

“I’m not the type to sit on the porch and watch life go by.” -Sally Rand (Born Helen Gould Beck (1904 - 1979))

“This world is but the vestibule of an immortal life. Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity.” -E. H. Chapin (Edwin Hubbell Chapin (1814 - 1880)): as attributed in Charles Northend: “Memory Gems” (1890), page 6

“Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“You don’t have to do everything, but you can always do something.” -Malia Blake (Malia T. Blake (born 1965))

“Do all that you can and all you thought you could not.” -Author Unknown

“Take tiny, wobbly, baby steps towards action. I made so much more progress in one year by doing a few small things consistently than I did in thirty years of overthinking and massive to-do lists.” -Ishita Gupta, website: https://ishitagupta.com/

“It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do.” -Jean Molière (pseudonym of Jean-Baptiste Poquelin (1622 - 1673))

“Our grand business undoubtedly is, not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 -1881)

“Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is key to unlocking our potential.” -Winston Churchill: as attributed in Liane Cordes (Liane Jo Cordes (born 1946)): “The Reflecting Pond: Meditations for Self-Discovery” (1981), page 89

“Continuous effort, not strength or intelligence, is key to unlocking our potential. It it is then, that problems become opportunities when the right people join together.” -Hans Von Gordon (1885 - 1918)

“Do something. If it doesn’t work, do something else. No idea is too crazy.” -Jim Hightower (James Allen ‘Jim’ Hightower (born 1943))

“Unselfish and noble actions are the most radiant pages in the biography of souls.” -David Thomas (1776 - 1859)

“During a very busy life I have often been asked, “How did you manage to do it all?” The answer is very simple. It is because I did everything promptly.” -Richard Tangye (1833 - 1906)

“People who soar, are those who refuse to sit back and wish things would change.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“Facta non verba.” [Latin]
“Deeds, not words.” [English]
-Author Unknown

“Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.” -William Butler Yeats (1865 - 1939)

“The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows; it is what the man or woman is able to do that the world cares about.” -Booker T. Washington (Booker Taliaferro Washington (1856 - 1915)): “Mind and Matter,” (5 June 1895), address to the Alabama State Teachers’ Association, Selma, Alabama, United States of America

“Life is too short to sit on the sidelines; it is much more fun to give it your enthusiastic best.” -Bob Apple

“Acting on a good idea is better than just having a good idea.” -Robert Half (1918 - 2001)

“Every man feels instinctively that all the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action.” -James Russell Lowell (1819 - 1891): as quoted in the “North American Review” (July 1867)

“Don’t just stand there, make something happen.” -Lee Iacocca (Lido Anthony ‘Lee’ Iacocca (born 1924))

“Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906 - 1945)

Affirmation: If it is to be, it is up to me.

“It has long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.” -Elinor Smith (1911 - 2010)

“Doing little things well is a step toward doing big things better.” -Vincent van Gogh (Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 - 1890))

“The time when you need to do something is when no one else is willing to do it, when people are saying it can’t be done.” -Will Durant (William James ‘Will’ Durant (1885 - 1981))

“The shortest way to do many things is to do one thing at once.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“Let us turn our ‘To Do Lists’ into ‘All Done Lists.’” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Do, doing, done.” -Author Unknown

“The greatest things ever done on Earth have been done little by little.” -Thomas Guthrie (1803 - 1873)

“Step by step and the thing is done.” -Charles Atlas (born Angelo Siciliano (1892 - 1972))

“It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“Action is the antidote to despair.” -Joan Baez (Joan Chandos Baez (born 1941))

“Do it. Do it right. Do it right now.” -Author Unknown

“Action makes more fortune than caution.” -Luc DeClapiers (1715 - 1747)

“Always say nothing doing to doing nothing.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“And, having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.” -Enoch A. Bennett (Enoch Arnold Bennett (1867 - 1931)): “How to Live on Twenty-Four Hours a Day” (1910), Chapter 12

“So little done, so much to do.” -Cecil Rhodes (1853 - 1902)

“The more things you do, the more you can do.” -Lucille Ball Lucille Désirée Ball (1911 - 1989)

“In a world where there is so much to be done, I felt strongly impressed that there must be something for me to do.” -Dorothea Dix (Dorothea Lynde Dix (1802 - 1887)): as quoted in Lydia Maria Child: “Letters from New York,” Volume 2 (1845), ‘Letter 31’ (31 December 1844), page 284

This is MFOL! . . . we must take immediate action now to make the world funnier . . .

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Problems and Solutions

4/18/2019

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“The next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))

“A problem well stated is a problem half-solved.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.” -Maya Angelou (born Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

“The best angle to approach a problem is from the try angle.” -Author Unknown

“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.” -Duke Ellington (Edward Kennedy ‘Duke’ Ellington (1899 - 1974))

“What a pity human beings can’t exchange problems. Everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellow’s.” -Olin Miller (1918 - 2002)

“All life is problem solving.” -Karl Popper (1902 - 1994)

“Every big problem was at one time a wee little disturbance.” -Author Unknown

“The easiest way to solve a problem is to pick an easy one.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980))

“Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.” -Paul Erdos (1913 - 1996)

“The solution of every problem is another problem.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

Overheard: Everything is figureoutable.

“The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

“I’ve yet to see any problem, however complicated, which when you looked at it the right way didn’t become still more complicated.” -Poul Anderson (Poul William Anderson (1926 - 2001)): ‘Call Me Joe’ novelette published in “Astounding Science Fiction” (April 1957) magazine

“Discovery of a solution consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else and thinking something different.” -Albert Szent-Györgyi (1893 - 1986)

“A feeling of confidence and personal power comes from facing challenges and overcoming them.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Problems are the price of success.” -Branch Rickey (Wesley ‘Branch’ Rickey (1881 - 1965))

“. . . so it will be forever; that after every storm the Sun will smile, for every problem there is a solution, and that the soul’s indefeasible duty is to be of good cheer . . .” -William R. Alger (William Rounseville Alger (1822 - 1905)): “The School of Life” (1881), ‘Lesson of Faith,’ page 71

“It’s not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.” -Ashleigh Brilliant (Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant (born 1933))

“It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it.” -John Steinbeck (John Ernst Steinbeck, Junior (1902 - 1968))

“No problem can be solved until it is reduced to some simple form. The changing of a vague difficulty into a specific, concrete form is a very essential element in thinking.” -J. P. Morgan (John Pierpont ‘J. P.’ Morgan (1837 - 1913))

“There are as many solutions as there are human beings.” -George Tooker (George Clair Tooker, Junior (1920 - 2011))

“It is no good getting furious if you get stuck. What I do is keep thinking about the problem but work on something else. Sometimes it is years before I see the way forward. In the case of information loss and black holes, it was 29 years.” -Stephen Hawking (Stephen William Hawking (1942 - 2018))

“‘We have a problem.’ ‘Congratulations.’ ‘But it’s a tough problem.’ ‘Then double congratulations.’” -W. Clement Stone (William Clement Stone (1902 - 2002))

“The one common challenge of all humanity is the challenge of problems.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“After every difficulty, ask yourself two questions: ‘What did I do right?’ and ‘What would I do differently?’” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys.” -Rita Schiano

“Your problems aren’t going to solve themselves, you know.” -Author Unknown

“Focus on remedies, not faults.” -Jack Nicklaus (Jack William Nicklaus (born 1940))

“Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” -Joshua J. Marine

“All problems become smaller if you don’t dodge them, but confront them.” -William F. Halsey (William Frederick ‘Bull’ Halsey, Junior (1882 - 1959))

“This problem, too, will look simple after it is solved.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“We will find the solution . . . together.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.” -Earl Shoaff (John Earl Shoaff (1916 - 1965))

“You are the only problem you will ever have and you are the only solution.” -Bob Proctor (born 1934)

“A small trouble is like a pebble. Hold it too close to your eye, and it puts everything out of focus. Hold it at proper viewing distance, and it can be examined and classified. Throw it at your feet, and it can be seen in its true setting, just one more tiny bump on the pathway to eternity.” -Celia Luce (Celia Larsen Luce (1914 - 2008))

An oyster has an elegant solution to a problem. When something irritates the lining of its shell, the oyster responds by coating the irritant in a layer of the same material as the inside of its shell, commonly referred to as mother of pearl. The result is often the highly sought-after shiny smooth hard round object called a pearl. The problem is an irritant such as a grain of sand; the solution is a pearl. Does the oyster teach us a lesson for dealing with problems?

“An expert problem solver must be endowed with two incompatible qualities - a restless imagination and a patient pertinacity.” -Howard W. Eves (Howard Whitley Eves (1911 - 2004))

“Do not be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.” -Author Unknown

“The biggest problem in the world could have been solved when it was small.” -Witter Bynner (Harold ‘Witter’ Bynner (1881 - 1968))

“Nobody, as long as he moves among the chaotic currents of life, is without trouble.” -C. G. Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961))

“The best way to escape from your problem is to solve it.” -Robert Anthony Eden (1897 - 1977)

“I’ve never seen a problem that was solved by only complaining about it.” -Steve Keating (Stephen F. Keating (1918 - 2001))

“Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.” -René Descartes (1596 - 1650): “Discours de la Methode” (1637)

“Beset by a difficult problem? Now is your chance to shine. Pick yourself up, get to work, and get triumphantly through it.” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955))

“There are no problems, just challenges.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t tell me that this problem is difficult. If it wasn’t difficult, it wouldn’t be a problem.” [English translation]
“Ne me dites pas que ce problème est difficile. S’il n’était pas difficile, ce ne serait pas un problème.” [original French]
-Ferdinand Foch (Ferdinand Jean Marie Foch (1851 - 1929))

“Avoid problems, and you’ll never be the one who overcame them.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” -Theodore Rubin (Theodore Isaac Rubin (born 1923))

Overheard: All of the easy problems have already been solved.

“It’s good to remember that the tea kettle, although up to its neck in hot water, continues to sing.” -Author Unknown

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as unsolvable problems.” -John W. Gardner (John William Gardner (1912 - 2002))

“Focus on the solution, not the problem.” -Walter Anderson (born 1944)

“Every problem contains within itself the seeds of its own solution.” -Edward Somers

“A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talked to each other instead of about each other.” -Author Unknown

“When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“It isn’t that they can’t see the solution. It is that they can’t see the problem.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936))

“When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail.” -Abraham Maslow (Abraham Harold Maslow (1908 - 1970)): “The Psychology of Science” (1966)

“Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.” -Henry J. Kaiser (Henry John Kaiser (1882 - 1967))

“Nothing lasts forever - not even your troubles.” -Arnold Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“No problem is so complicated that you cannot make it more complicated.” -Andy Grove (Andrew Stephen ‘Andy’ Grove (1936 - 2016))

“There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. We seek out problems because we need their gifts.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.” -Denis Waitley (born 1933)

“Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.” -Alan Watts (Alan Wilson Watts (1915 - 1973))

Problems worthy of attack
prove their worth by hitting back.
-Piet Hein (1905 - 1996)

“Whenever we have a really difficult or impossible problem in life, we should take it to a math teacher. As you will remember from school, math teachers are good at giving problems to us, and they are good at showing us how to solve them, as well.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“The issue is not that our problems are too big but that our imaginations are too small.” -Marianne Williamson (born 1952)

“It often happens that I wake at night and begin to think about a serious problem and decide I must tell the Pope about it. Then I wake up completely and remember that I am the Pope.” -Pope John XXIII (born Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli (1881 - 1963))

“Problems are to the mind what exercise is to the muscles, they toughen and make strong.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“The first requisite for success is the ability to apply your physical and mental energies to one problem incessantly without growing weary.” -Herbert Spencer (1820 - 1903)

“The ‘how’ thinker gets problems solved effectively because he wastes no time with futile ‘ifs.’” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.” -Theodore N. Vail (Theodore Newton Vail (1845 - 1920))

“I am so grateful for my troubles. As I reflect back on my life, I have come to realize that my greatest triumphs have been born of my greatest troubles.” -Steve Maraboli (born 1975): “Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience” (2013)

“No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“To solve a problem, walk around.” -Jerome (also known as Eusebius Sophronius Hieronymus (about C.E. 347 - C.E. 420))

“Divide each difficulty into as many parts as necessary to resolve it.” -René Descartes (1596 - 1650)

“The first step towards the solution of any problem is optimism.” -John Baines

“Never make troubles of trifles.” -Author Unknown

“When I’m working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“Trouble is My Business.” -Raymond Chandler (1888 - 1959): title of article in “Dime Detective Magazine” (August 1939), and the credo of his fictional detective Philip Marlowe

“Problems are questions that ask, ‘How can you best handle us?’” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“The most important thing to do in solving a problem is to begin.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

This is MFOL! . . . may all of your problems be funny ones . . . and may all of your solutions be fun . . .

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Meeting and Parting

4/17/2019

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Most things in life start with hello . . .

“Be the first to say hello to others. You will have a happier day.” -Author Unknown

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howie.
Howie, who?
I’m fine - Howie you?

Meeting Lines
- How are you?
- How do you do, kangaroo?
- How do you do?
- Long time no see.
- Say hello, happy fellow!
- What's new?
- What’s the word, mocking bird?
- What’s up, buttercup?
- What else can one say?

‘Cheerio’ is a way of saying ‘goodbye’ and ‘be of good cheer’ both at once.

Jody: What do wolves say when they are introduced?
Cody: “Howl do you do?”

Goodbyes

Goodbyes are not forever,
Goodbyes are not the end;
They simply mean I’ll miss you,
Until we meet again.

by Author Unknown

“A simple hello could lead to a million things.” -Author Unknown

Parting Lines
- Adieu, cockatoo!
- Adios, hippos!
- After a while, crocodile!
- Be well, speedy snail!
- Better shake, rattlesnake!
- Bye-bye, butterfly!
- Don’t meander, salamander!
- Give us a hug, ladybug!
- Good wishes, little fishes!
- Goodbye, dragonfly!
- Goodbye, fruit fly!
- Gotta go, buffalo!
- Hasta mañana, iguana!
- Hit the road, hoppy toad!
- In an hour, sunflower!
- Keep it real, lemon peel!
- See you later, alligator!
- See you soon, hairy baboon!
- See you soon, raccoon!
- See you then, penguin!
- So long, King Kong!
- So nice to have met you.
- Stay well, gazelle!
- Take care, grizzly bear!
- Ta-ta, chihuahua!
- Think happy thoughts!
- Toe the line, Frankenstein!
- Toodle-oo, kangaroo!
- Tout de suite, parakeet!
- Until then, little red hen!

Matthew: How are you?
Luke: Too blessed to be stressed!

‘Goodbye’ is derived from ‘God bye’ which is a contraction of ‘God be by ye’ or ‘God be with ye.’

“God be with you.” [English]
“Deus vobiscum.” [Latin]

The proper response to the Irish greeting, “Top of the morning to you,” is, “And the rest of the day to yourself.”

Overheard: If you see me getting smaller, it means I am leaving.

‘Die dulci fruere.’ and ‘Habetis bona deum.’ are both Latin for ‘Have a nice day.’ ‘Quid novi?’ is Latin for ‘What’s new?’

Lucy: So, how are you today?
Anne: Just ducky!

‘So-long’ is derived from the Arabic ‘salaam’ and the Hebrew ‘shalom.’

Overheard: It was a brief encounter, and so I quickly said, “Hello - and goodbye!”

“Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet again in life.” -Jean Paul Richter (1763 - 1825): as attributed in “The Pulpit Treasury” (March 1884)

Al: How are you, my friend?
Vin: I’m doing swimmingly!

“All farewells should be sudden.” -Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824)): “Sardanapalus” (1821), act V

Elvis: How are you?
Sonny: Feelin’ groovy!

“We part only to meet again.” -Author Unknown

“Millions and millions of years would still not give me half enough time to describe that tiny instant of all eternity when you put your arms around me and I put my arms around you.” -Jacques Prévert (1900 - 1977)

Carpenter Bob: How are you?
Tailor Jill: Just sew-sew!

Paul: How are you doing?
Harvey: Better than I deserve.

“The two hardest things to say in life are, “Hello,” for the first time and, “Goodbye,” for the last time.” -Author Unknown

Cool Cat: How are things?
Hot Dog: Dyn-o-mite, baby.

The phrase ‘long time no see’ is believed to be a literal translation of a Native American or Chinese phrase as it is not grammatically correct.

Elmer: Hi, how are you?
Bert: Better and better!

Good-night, good-night! parting is such sweet sorrow
That I shall say good-night till it be morrow.
-William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Romeo and Juliet” (1595), Act II, scene ii

How are you?
- About average.
- Couldn’t be better.
- Everything’s copacetic.
- Fair to partly cloudy.
- Fit as a fiddle.
- Good.
- Just peachy
- Marvelous.
- Not bad.
- Outstanding.
- Perfect.
- Pretty good.
- Spectacular.
- Super!
- What do you say?

“Don’t be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936)): “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah” (1977), chapter 18

‘CU L8R’ is an abbreviation for ‘See you later.’

“Fare thee well.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Antony and Cleopatra” (1606 - 1607), Act 4, scene 4

Velma: How are things in the fast-paced business world?
Wilma: I’m just about breakin’ even.

“Always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.” -Author Unknown

Thomas Edison coined the word ‘hello’ and introduced it as a way to answer the telephone. This begs the question, what did people commonly say in greeting each other before ‘hello’ was invented?

“Merry may we meet, merry may we be together, and merry may we part.” -Author Unknown

Edmund: What’s the good word?
Edgar: Aardvark.

“We only part to meet again.” -John Gay (1685 - 1732)

“This is not goodbye, it’s just good night.” -Alan Freed (1922 - 1965): signature sign-off as a radio announcer

Jean: How are you?
Gene: Everything’s copacetic!*
* copacetic (koh-puh-SET-ik), adjective: satisfactory; fine.

“Good-bye is always hello to something else.” -George Ella Lyon (born 1949): “Borrowed Children” (March 1988)

Matthew: How are you?
Mathilda: I am as I am.

The custom of shaking hands began in ancient times when strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed and had no ill intent.

Alex: Morning glory.
Felix: Evening grace.

Fare thee well! and if forever,
Still forever, fare thee well.
-Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824)): “Fare Thee Well” (1816), stanza 1

“Take me to your leader.” -Unidentified Space Alien: line from a science fiction movie

Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves when they rode past their king. This custom has become the modern military salute.

Logic: How are you?
Reason: I exist.

“Sometimes you have to find the good in goodbye.” -Author Unknown

Anne: How are you getting along?
Gus: Fair to midlin’.

“I’ll be back.” -James Cameron (born 1954): “The Terminator” (1984) movie; line spoken by fictional character Terminator (portrayed by actor Arnold Schwarzenegger)

“It is generally agreed that ‘Hello’ is an appropriate greeting because if you entered a room and said ‘Goodbye,’ it could confuse a lot of people.” -Dolph Sharp (born 1914)

Some people do not want to be hugged or to be made to hug other people at meeting or parting, and it is rude - and yes, even potentially a punishable criminal act of assault and battery - to hug or otherwise have physical contact with someone who does not consent. These people owe no explanation to anyone for why they do not hug; it is simply a preference to which they have a right. So, to help people with this, we have a list of alternative behaviors, as follows.

Meeting and Parting - With No Physical Contact and Spoken Words Optional
- Bowing.
- Curtsying.
- Saluting.
- Waving.
- Head nodding.
- Hat tilting.
- Hand gestures such as the Hippie ‘peace sign.’
- Can you add to this list?
(‘Sticking out your tongue’ has been purposefully left off this list. )

Suzette: Y’all come back real soon now, ya hear?
Angus: You mean, like, right now?
Suzette: No, like, later!
Angus: Well, then . . . how about right now, is that later enough?

“‘It is never good dwelling on good-byes,’ she said. ‘It is not the being together that it prolongs, it is the parting.’” -Elizabeth Charlotte Lucy, Princess Bibesco (born Elizabeth Charlotte Lucy Asquith; also known as Elizabeth Bibesco and Elizabeth Asquith (1897 - 1945))

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Willy.
Willy, who?
Willy good to see you today, my friend!

What does it mean to ‘always leave people on a high note’? It means to always leave them wanting more by saying positive things when you are on the way out.

“To all, to each, a fair good-night, and pleasing dreams, and slumbers light.” Walter Scott (1771 - 1832)

Smokey Bear: See ya later!
Woodsy Owl: Owl be seeing you!

‘Håfa adai’ (pronounced approximately like ‘half a day’ but leaving out the ‘l’ sound in ‘half’) is an expression for ‘hello’ in the native Chamorro language of the island of Guam and the Northern Marianas, both of which are in the Mariana islands chain. The literal translation is ‘what friend’ and the expression is sometimes informally shortened to just ‘håfa.’ We have just been informed that it is regrettably not possible to exchange two håfa adais for a full day.

‘Ciao’ (pronounced like ‘chow’) is an Italian expression that can be said either at meeting or at parting.

‘Aloha’ (pronounced like ‘uh-loh-uh or ‘ah-loh-hah’) is Hawaiian for both ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye.’

Roseanne: How are you?
Marianne: I’m doing my best!

Overheard: I like waving at random people, because for the rest of the day, they will be trying to figure out who the stranger was that waved at them.

May your hellos far outnumber your goodbyes as you continue on your journey in life . . . and may you never forget to Make Fun Of Life!

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Wishes and Wishing

4/17/2019

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Have you ever made a wish and then blown dandelion tufts into the breeze?

“Make a wish . . . then make it happen!” -Author Unknown

“It is always wise to stop wishing for things long enough to enjoy the fragrance of those now flowering.” -Patrice Gifford

“We can do whatever we wish to do, provided our wish is strong enough. But the tremendous effort needed - one doesn’t always want to make it - does one? . . . But what else can be done? What’s the alternative? What do you want most to do? That’s what I have to keep asking myself, in the face of difficulties.” -Katherine Mansfield (Katherine Mansfield Beauchamp Murry (1888 - 1923))

Wishes

If wishes were horses,
     beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches,
     I’d wear one by my side.
If ‘ifs’ and ‘ands’
     Were pots and pans,
There’d be no work
     for tinkers’ hands!

by Author Unknown

“Few wishes come true by themselves.” -Author Unknown

It’s your birthday . . . make a wish and blow out the candles!

“Work will win when wishy washy wishing won’t.” -Thomas S. Monson (born 1927)

“Stop saying, ‘I wish,’ and start saying, ‘I will.’” -Author Unknown

“You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don’t let yourself indulge in vain wishes.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

Away with Wishing!

If wishing were being, we’d all be beautiful,
     Healthy and wealthy, wise and dutiful;
If wishing were having - what pleasure untold;
     With a heartful of joy and purseful of gold!

But wishes, alas! are but empty bubbles,
     And the longing heart may teem with troubles,
So idle wishing is vain, forsooth
     As the endless search for the fountain of youth.

But work that holds wealth may be had for the taking,
     Though it may not bring health, ’tis a balm for heart-aching;
And study makes wise, and love, people say,
     Gives the beauty that’s truest, which lasts for aye.

Then away with wishing; and ho! for labor!
     And ho! for love - each one for his neighbor!
For a life of labor and study and love
     Is the life that fits for the joy above.

by Emma C. Dowd

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“They told us not to wish in the first place, not to aspire, not to try; to be quiet, to play nice, to shoot low, and aspire not at all. They are always wrong. Follow your dreams. Make your wishes. Create the future. And above all, believe in yourself.” -J. Michael Straczynski

“Don’t wish for it . . . work for it!” -Author Unknown

“We will receive not what we idly wish for but what we justly earn. Our rewards will always be in exact proportion to our service.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“You don’t get what you want in life just by wishing.” -Author Unknown

This one makes a net,
     this one stands and wishes.
Would you like to make a bet -
     which one gets the fishes?
-Author Unknown

“Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn’t spend half our time wishing.” -Alexander Woollcott (Alexander Humphreys Woollcott (1887 - 1943))

“We wish upon stars, coins tossed into fountains and wishing wells, birthday candles, wishbones, and dandelion tufts . . . perhaps it is time we placed our wishes upon hard work and made our dreams come true.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“A wish is a desire without an attempt.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “Reader’s Digest”

“Wishes are the echo of a lazy will.” -Author Unknown

“You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936)): “Illusions” (1977)

We are MFOL! . . . may your every good wish come true . . .

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Time

4/15/2019

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“If it weren’t for the last minute, a lot of things wouldn’t get done.” -Michael S. Traylor

Beverly: How is getting up at 4:00 a.m. like a pig’s tail?
Kimberly: It’s twirly!

“Time is eternity begun.” -James Montgomery (1771 - 1854): “A Mother’s Love,” stanza 8, line 6; type of work: poem

Jonah: How many seconds are in a year?
Jonas: Twelve, starting with the second (2nd) of January.

“It is astonishing what a lot of odd minutes one can catch during the day, if one really sets about it.” -Dinah Maria Craik (born Dinah Maria Mulock (1826 - 1887))

Late

How did it get so late so soon?
     It’s night before it’s afternoon.
December is here before it’s June.
     My goodness how the time has flewn.
How did it get so late so soon?

by Doctor Seuss (pseudonym of Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 - 1991))

“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it, you can never get it back.” -Harvey Mackay (Harvey B. Mackay (born 1932))

“If I could have time in a bottle, I’d make it a glass bottle. That way, I could see the dinosaurs.” -Dick Bowden

Why do the hours drag on endlessly, while the years seem to fly past?

There Was a Man

There was a man who never was.
     This tragedy occurred because
His parents, being none too smart,
     Were born two hundred years apart.

by Dennis Lee

“Counting time is not so important as making time count.” -James J. Walker

“If time be judiciously employed, there is time for everything.” -George Head (1782 - 1855): “A Home Tour Through the Manufacturing Districts of England in the Summer of 1835” (1836), page 198

In the time a person says, “One hundred and one,” one second of time has passed.

Bill: What time would it be if it were not the time it is now?
Tim: Some other time.

“Time devours all things.” [English translation]
“Tempus edax rerums.” [original Latin]
-Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17))

“Time equals life; therefore, waste your time and waste of your life, or master your time and master your life.” -Alan Lakein (born 1938)

“If you don’t make time to work on creating the life you want, you’re eventually going to be forced to spend a lot of time dealing with a life you don’t want.” -Kevin Ngo

Seymour: What time is it?
Rosemary: Now.

“Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“How you spend your hours equals who you are today.” -Stephen Bavolek (Stephen J. Bavolek)

In 1984, the “Eldorado Daily Journal” newspaper of Illinois, United States of America, announced a contest to see who could save the most daylight for daylight savings time. The rules of the contest were simple: beginning with the first day of daylight savings time, contestants would be required to save daylight. Whoever succeeded in saving the most daylight would win. Only pure daylight would be allowed - no dawn or twilight light, though light from cloudy days would be allowed. Moonlight was strictly forbidden. Light could be stored in any container. The contest received a huge nationwide response. The paper’s editor was interviewed by correspondents from television news shows and was featured in papers around the country.

“Time is God’s way of keeping everything from happening at once.” -Havelock Ellis (Henry Havelock Ellis (1859 - 1939))

Overheard: She’s always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.

“By losing present time, we lose all time.” -W. Gurney Benham (William Gurney Benham (1859 - 1944))

Overheard: In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

“Minutes are worth more than money. Spend them wisely.” -Thomas P. Murphy

Chronophobia is a persistent fear of time. Perhaps at the root of this fear is yet another fear, a fear of having all of one’s most beautiful dreams going forever unrealized. Let’s do something about that today by getting started on dreams and goals and plans, even if only in the tiniest of ways, like writing them down on paper or typing them out on your computer, and re-reading them at the start of each day.

“Lost, yesterday, somewhere between sunrise and sunset, two golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes. No reward is offered, for they are gone forever.” -Horace Mann (1796 - 1859)

“A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.” -Charles Darwin (Charles Robert Darwin (1809 - 1882))

Overheard: Just think, tomorrow at this same time, we will all be living exactly one day in the future . . .

“Lost time is never found again.” -John H. Aughey (John Hill Aughey (1828 - 1911))

“The supply of time is a daily miracle. Each day twenty-four hours are given to us to do with as we wish. It is the most precious possession we have, so live it daily and take advantage of every opportunity.” -Author Unknown

Time Facts
- 60 seconds make up a minute.
- 60 minutes make up an hour.
- 24 hours make up a day.
- 7 days make up a week.
- 28 to 31 days make up a month.
- 12 months make up a year.
- 10 years make up a decade.
- 100 years make up a century.
- 1,000 years make up a millennium.
- An infinite number of years make up an eternity.

“Don’t say, ‘There’s still time,’ or ‘Maybe next time,’ because there’s also the concept of, ‘It’s too late.’” -Author Unknown

“Those who know the value of time use it in preparation for eternity.” -Dugnet (also variously attributed to Duguet and Dugnat)

“Time has no divisions to mark its passage, there is never a thunderstorm or blare of trumpets to announce the beginning of a new month or year. Even when a new century begins it is only we mortals who ring bells and fire off pistols.” -Thomas Mann (Paul ‘Thomas’ Mann (1875 - 1955)): “The Magic Mountain” (1924), Chapter 5

Riddle: What flies without wings?
Solution: Time.

“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.” -Michael Altshuler, website: http://michaelaltshuler.com

“All that really belongs to us is time; even he who has nothing else has that.” -Baltasar Gracián (1601 - 1658)

How to stop time: kiss.
How to travel in time: read.
How to escape time: music.
How to feel time: write.
How to release time: breathe.
by Matt Haig (born 1975)

“Each moment, as it passes, is the meeting place of two eternities.” -Madame Swetchine (Anne Sophie Swetchine (1782 - 1857))

“Our great object in time is not to waste our passions and gifts on the things external that we must leave behind, but that we cultivate within us all that we can carry into the eternal progress beyond.” -Edward Bulwer-Lytton (Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873))

“Time revealeth all things.” -Thomas Draxe (unknown - 1618)

“Time is like a snowflake - it melts away while we try to decide what to do with it.” -Author Unknown

May memory restore again and again
The smallest color of the smallest day:
Time is the school in which we learn,
Time is the fire in which we burn.
-Delmore Schwartz (1913 - 1966): “Calmly We Walk Through This April’s Day” (1937), also found in Delmore Schwartz: “For Rhoda” (1938), stanza 1

“Nothing is as far away as one minute ago.” -Jim Bishop

“The illimitable, silent, never-resting thing called Time, rolling, rushing on, swift, silent, like an all-embracing ocean-tide, on which we and all the Universe swim like exhalations, like apparitions which are, and then are not.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“When it’s three o’clock in New York, it’s still 1938 in London.” -Bette Midler (born 1945): as quoted in the “Jerusalem Post” (24 February 1989) newspaper

“You wake up in the morning, and lo! your purse is magically filled with twenty-four hours of the magic tissue of the Universe of your life. No one can take it from you. No one receives either more or less than you receive. Waste your infinitely precious commodity as much as you will, and you cannot draw on the future. Impossible to get into debt. You can only waste the passing moment. You cannot waste tomorrow; it is kept for you.” -Arnold Bennett (Enoch Arnold Bennett (1867 - 1931))

“Time is not a reality, but a concept or a measure . . .” -Antiphon the Sophist (479 B.C.E. - 411 B.C.E.): “Truth”

“Lost wealth may be replaced by industry, lost knowledge by study, lost health by temperance or medicine, but lost time is gone forever.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

More Time Facts
- According to the old English time system, a moment is one and a half minutes.
- A jiffy is an actual unit of time, equaling 1/100th of a second.
- A nanosecond is one billionth of a second.
- The smallest unit of time is a yoctosecond, or 1 septillionth of a second, being 10 to the power of negative 24.
- A million seconds is about 11 days.
- A billion seconds is about 31 years.
- 31,536,000 seconds is about one year.
- 168 hours are in a week.

“Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time we’ve got.” -Art Buchwald (Arthur Buchwald (1925 - 2007))

“Time eases all things.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“Time flies whether you’re having fun or not. The choice is yours.” -Author Unknown

“You will never have more time than you do right now.” -Author Unknown

Time Quiz
- What time is it?
- What time would you rather it be?
- Is it the same time for everybody?
- Does anybody really know what time it is?
- What is time?
- Do you have enough time?
- If you do not have enough time, where can you get some more?
- When people borrow some of your time, do they ever pay you back?

“You can’t make up for lost time. You can only do better in the future.” -Ashley Ormon (born 1958)

“We shall never have more time. We have, and have always had, all the time there is. No object is served in waiting until next week or even until tomorrow. Keep going day in and day out. Concentrate on something useful. Having decided to achieve a task, achieve it at all costs.” -Arnold Bennett (Enoch Arnold Bennett (1867 - 1931))

“God hath given to man a short time here upon Earth, and yet upon this short time eternity depends.” -Jeremy Taylor (1613 - 1667): “Holy Living” (1650)

“Time will explain it all.” -Euripides (480 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.” -J. R. R. Tolkien (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien (1892 - 1973)): “The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring” (1954)

Wow, where did all the time go? Apparently, time flies when you are having fun! And, since that is all the time we have to cover the topic of Time, we will now go on to our next topic . . . on MFOL!

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Childhood and Children

4/12/2019

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“Keeping in touch with childhood memories keeps us believing in life’s simplest pleasures, like a rainy afternoon, a swing-set, and a giant puddle to play in.” -Chrissy Ogden

“There are children playing in the streets who could solve some of my top problems in physics, because they have modes of sensory perception that I lost long ago.” -J. Robert Oppenheimer (Julius Robert Oppenheimer (1904 - 1967))

“Every child should have mud pies, grasshoppers, water-bugs, tadpoles, frogs, mud-turtles, elderberries, wild strawberries, acorns, chestnuts, trees to climb, brooks to wade in, water-lilies, woodchucks, bats, bees, butterflies, various animals to pet, hay-fields, pine-cones, rocks to roll, sand, snakes, huckleberries, and hornets; and any child who has been deprived of these has been deprived of the best part of his education.” -Luther Burbank (1849 - 1926): “Training of the Human Plant” (1907)

“Simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.” -Author Unknown

Children have always been around, but the concept of childhood, as we know it now, is a relatively new one in human history. It began in the mid-twentieth century, when childhood was emphasized as an important time to play and imagine. Prior to then, childhood was a period of surviving the harshness of existence long enough to reach young adulthood, with an emphasis on learning skills such as hunting and gathering, or in more complex civilizations, skills needed to earn a living and participate in a society.

“Truly wonderful the mind of a child is.” -Yoda: in “Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones” (16 May 2002)

Children laugh about 400 times a day, while adults laugh on average only 15 times a day. Are children having too much fun - or are adults far too serious?

“Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows.” -John Betjeman: “Summoned by Bells”

“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” -Buddy Hackett

Children grow faster in the springtime than any other season during the year.

Billy: Can youngsters learn to fly jet airplanes?
Bobby: Yes, but they have to use training wheels!

“A three-year-old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.” -Burton Hillis (pseudonym of William E. ‘Bill’ Vaughan (1915 - 1977))

“Childhood is that time of life when anything is possible.” -Author Unknown

“Six-year-old announces plans to become ballerina gymnast veterinarian horseback-riding princess.” -Author Unknown: “The Onion”

“When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, “Don’t go near the cellar door, Emo!” One day when they were away, I went to the door and opened it . . . and I saw birds and trees.” -Emo Philips (born Philip Soltanec (born 1956))

Toddler Rules

If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it is food, it must not be tasted.
If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.

by Author Unknown

“A happy childhood is the best horseshoe nail.” -Author Unknown

“I was forced to live far beyond my years when just a child, now I have reversed the order and I intend to remain young indefinitely.” -Mary Pickford (born Gladys Louise Smith, also known as Gladys Marie Pickford (1893 - 1979))

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Wisdom from Children

“Never trust a dog to watch your food.” -Patrick, 10 years of age

“When your dad is mad and asks you, ‘Do I look stupid?’ - don’t answer.” -Hannah, 9 years of age

“Never tell your mom her diet’s not working.” -Michael, 14 years of age

“If life gives you nothing but lemons, make up a better shopping list for it.” -Steven, 8 years of age

“When your Mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.” -Jennifer, 11 years of age

“Never leave your three-year old brother in the same room as your school
assignment.” -Tracy, 14 years of age

“Never hold a hand-held vacuum cleaner and a cat at the same time.” -Katherine, 11 years of age

“You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.” -Aaron, 9 years of age

“If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.” -Nancy, 15 years of age

“Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick.” -Laura, 9 years of age

“When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she’s on
the phone.” -Jill, 13 years of age

“Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs at you.” -Robert, 8 years of age

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“Childhood is that state which ends the moment a puddle is first viewed as an obstacle instead of an opportunity.” -Kathy Williams (1964 - 1996)

“I love child things because there’s so much mystery when you’re a child. When you’re a child, something as simple as a tree doesn’t make sense. You see it in the distance and it looks small, but as you go closer, it seems to grow - you haven’t got a handle on the rules when you’re a child. We think we understand the rules when we become adults but what we really experienced is a narrowing of the imagination.” -David Lynch

“Children despise their parents until the age of forty, when they suddenly become just like them, thus preserving the system.” -Quentin Crewe

“Some people seem as if they can never have been children, and others seem as if they could never be anything else.” -George D. Prentice (George Dennison Prentice (1802 - 1870)): “Prenticeana” (1860)

“I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.” -Greg Norman

“A lot of children think their parents are all-no-ing.” -Author Unknown

“Children are happy because they don’t have a file in their minds called ‘All the Things That Could Go Wrong.’” -Marianne Williamson (born in July 1952)

Whole Duty of Children

A child should always say what’s true,
And speak when he is spoken to;
And behave mannerly at table,
At least as far as he is able.

by Robert Louis Stevenson (Robert Louis Balfour Stevenson (1850 - 1894)): “A Child’s Garden of Verses” (1885)

“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” -Tom Robbins (Thomas Eugene 'Tom' Robbins (born 1932)): “Still Life with Woodpecker” (October 1980)

“Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (Antoine Marie Jean-Baptiste Roger (1900 - 1944)): “The Little Prince” (1943)

This is MFOL! . . . for the child in all of us . . . who can still feel, smell, taste, hear, and see . . . the wonder of it all . . .

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Impossible and Possible

4/8/2019

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“I’ve always had the feeling that nothing is impossible if one applies a certain amount of energy in the right direction. If you want to do it, you can do it.” -Nellie Bly (pseudonym of Elizabeth Cochrane Seaman (1864 - 1922))

“Impossible things are simply those which so far have never been done.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“You can’t pick a lock with a pickle, you can’t cure the sick with a sickle, pluck figs with a figment, drive pigs with a pigment, nor make your watch tick with a tickle. You can’t slacken your gait with a gaiter, you can’t get a crate with a crater, catch moles with a molar, or bake rolls with a roller. But you can get a wait from a waiter.” -Author Unknown: in “Sunshine Magazine”

“Never let the word ‘impossible’ stop you from pursuing what your heart and spirit urge you to do. Impossible things come true every day.” -Robert Cooper

“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” -Vince Lombardi (Vincent Thomas Lombardi (1913 - 1970))

“Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.” -Author Unknown

“I’m always doing what I cannot do yet, in order to learn how to do it.” -Vincent van Gogh (Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 - 1890)): letter (1885) to Anthon van Rappard

“When work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible.” -Nancy Coey

“The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible.” -Richard M. DeVos (Richard Marvin DeVos, Senior (1926 - 2018))

“I have learned to use the word ‘impossible’ with the greatest caution.” -Wernher von Braun (Wernher Magnus Maximilian, Freiherr von Braun (1912 - 1977))

“I believe anything is possible. Research into quantum physics proves that a system changes simply by someone observing it. Therefore, all you have to do is be awake and aware of your environment, and that enables you to transform everything around you. It sounds like hocus pocus, but scientists are coming to realize that just thinking about something can make it happen. Turns out maybe faith can move mountains.” -Christine Anderson

“Most of the things worth doing in the world were said to be impossible before they were done.” -Louis Brandeis (Louis Dembitz Brandeis (1856 - 1941))

“Things that are impossible just take longer.” -Ian Hickson

“Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.” -Doug Larson (1902 - 1981)

“Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said. ‘One can’t believe impossible things.’ ‘I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it half an hour a day. Why, sometimes, I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.’” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Through the Looking-Glass” (1872), chapter 5

“What is impossible today that if made possible would change everything?” -Joel Barker

“The difficult is what takes a little time; the impossible is what takes a little longer.” -Fridtjof Nansen (1861 - 1930): as quoted in the “Listener” (14 December 1939)

“The impossible is often the untried.” -Jim Goodwin

“It is our duty as human beings to proceed as though the limits of our capabilities do not exist.” -Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (1881 - 1955)

Impossible: Something that nobody can do - until somebody does it!

“The impossible is possible if you want it to be.” -Author Unknown

“If you develop the absolute sense of certainty that powerful beliefs provide, then you can get yourself to accomplish virtually anything, including those things that other people are certain are impossible.” -William L. Phelps (William Lyon Phelps (1865 - 1943))

“We have no limits - we create them in our mind.” -Bud LaBranche

“The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.” -Arthur C. Clarke (Arthur Charles Clarke (1917 - 2008))

“You have to believe in the impossible.” -Howard Head

“There is nothing impossible to him who will try.” -Alexander of Macedonia (also known as Alexander the Great (356 B.C.E. - 323 B.C.E.))

“Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.” -John Heywood (about 1497 - 1580): “Proverbs” (1546)

“Yes, you can be a dreamer and a doer too, if you will remove one word from your vocabulary: impossible.” -Robert Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“Nothing is impossible.” -Author Unknown

“Everything is always impossible before it works.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

“What we need are more people who specialize in the impossible.” -Theodore Roethke (1908 - 1963)

“Nothing is impossible; the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

“You can do the impossible, because you have been through the unimaginable.” -Christina Rasmussen (born 1972)

“When someone tells you that you can’t do something, perhaps you should consider that they are only telling you what they can’t do.” -Sheldon Cahoon

“Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” -Francis of Assisi (1181 - 1226)

“It is impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy.” -Howard Murray

“It is the act of a madman to pursue impossibilities.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180))

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” -Author Unknown

“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” -Jamie Paolinetti (born 1964)

“It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.” -Robert H. Goddard (Robert Hutchings ‘Bob’ Goddard (1882 - 1945))

“Do not suppose that, if you find something hard to achieve, it is beyond human capacity; rather, if something is possible and appropriate for man, assume that it must also be within your own reach.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180)): “The Meditations” (C.E. 167)

“To get profit without risk, experience without danger, and reward without work is as impossible as it is to live without being born.” -A. P. Gouthey (Aldolph Philip Gouthey (some sources may show Adolph Philip Gouthey) (1892 - 1963))

“All things are possible until they are proved impossible and even the impossible may only be so, as of now.” -Pearl S. Buck (Pearl Sydenstricker Buck (1892 - 1973)): “A Bridge for Passing” (1962)

“You cannot make a silk purse of a sow’s ear.” -Stephen Gosson (1554 - 1624): “The Ephemerides of Phialo” (1579)

“So many things are possible just as long as you don’t know they’re impossible.” -Norton Juster (born 1929): “The Phantom Tollbooth” (1961)

“To believe a Business impossible, is the Way to make it so.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 5138

“A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” -Walter Bagehot (1826 - 1877)

“If you will tell me why the fen* appears impassable, I then will tell you why I think that I can cross it if I try.” -Marianne Moore (1887 - 1972)
*fen: a wetland or often flooded area.

“Ordinary people believe only in the possible. Extraordinary people visualize not what is possible or probable, but rather what is impossible. And by visualizing the impossible, they begin to see it as possible.” -Cherie Carter-Scott (born 1949)

“There is no limitation other than what you think.” -Kenneth Mills

“Anything in life is possible if you make it happen. And it’s never too late.” -Jack LaLanne (François Henri ’Jack’ LaLanne (1914 - 2011))

“What is now proven was once only imagined.” -William Blake (1757 - 1827): “Proverbs of Hell” (1790 - 1793)

“Every great achievement was once considered impossible.” -Author Unknown

“Nothing is impossible to industry*.” -Periander (about 625 B.C.E. - 585 B.C.E.)
*industry: hard work.

“Impossibility simply means ‘I’m possibility.’” -Monsieur Nana Adom

“When someone tells you it can’t be done, it’s more a reflection of their limitations, not yours.” -Author Unknown

“The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man’s determination.” -Tommy Lasorda (Thomas Charles Lasorda (born 1927))

“Nothing is impossible: there are ways which lead to everything; and if we had sufficient will we should always have sufficient means. It is often merely for an excuse that we say things are impossible.” -François de La Rochefoucauld (also known as François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680))

“Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.” -Author Unknown

“There are many things that seem impossible only so long as one does not attempt them.” -André Gide (André Paul Guillaume Gide (1869 - 1951))

“Never tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the Moon.” -Paul Brandt

“What ‘exists’ is only a small part of what is ‘possible.’” -Pere Alberch (born Pere Alberch Vie (1954 - 1998))

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible” (NIV), ‘Matthew,’ chapter 19, verse 26

“Think of the thing you cannot do, and then do it.” -Author Unknown

“Impossible is only an opinion.” -Author Unknown

“Every noble work is at first impossible.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“It’s going to be difficult, but difficult is not impossible.” -Author Unknown

“Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities - always see them, for they’re always there.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Either I will find a way, or I will make one.” -Philip Sidney (1554 - 1586)

“Most of the things worth doing in the world have been declared impossible before they were attempted.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“It is certain because it is impossible.” [English translation]
“Certum est quia impossibile.” [original Latin]
-Quintus Septimius Florens Tertullianus (also known simply as Tertullian (C.E. 155 - C.E. 240))

“Nothing is impossible to the man who can will and then do; this is the only law of success.” -Mirabeau (Honoré Gabriel Riqueti, Count of Mirabeau (1749 - 1791))

“All big things in this world are done by people who are naive and have an idea that is obviously impossible.” -Frank Richards

“There is a better way to spell ‘impossible’: ‘I’m possible.’” -Author Unknown

“I dwell in possibility.” -Emily Dickinson (1830 - 1886)

“Few things are impossible to diligence and skill.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): “Rasselas” (1759)

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“Once you stop dismissing something as unattainable, then you start working on its development.” -Jerome Pearson

“The most rewarding things you do in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done.” -Arnold Palmer (Arnold Daniel Palmer (1929 - 2016))

“You can’t roller-skate in a buffalo herd, but you can be happy if you’ve a mind to.” -Roger Miller

We are MFOL! . . . wishing you many trouble-free days as you make your way through a world in which more things are possible all the time . . .

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Advice and Wisdom

4/4/2019

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Be kind, but don’t let people abuse you.
Trust, but don’t be deceived.
Be content, but never stop improving yourself.
-Author Unknown

“Life is too important to be taken seriously.” -Author Unknown

“Be good to yourself so that you can above all be good to others.” -Jessi Lane Adams (pseudonym of Terri Guillemets (born 1973))

“Keep five yards from a carriage, ten yards from a horse, and a hundred yards from an elephant. But the distance one should keep from a wicked man cannot be measured.” -Author Unknown: Indian proverb

“One day you’ll just be a memory to some people. Do your best to be a good one.” -Author Unknown

The Way

Cocks crow in the morn
     To tell us to rise,
And he who lies late
     Will never be wise.

For early to bed
     And early to rise
Is the way to be healthy,
     And wealthy, and wise.

by Author Unknown

“What cannot be helped must be endured.” -Author Unknown: “Rob Roy” (7 April 1995) movie; words spoken by fictional character Mary MacGregor

“Whatever advice you give, be brief.” -Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.))

“Be excellent to each other!” -Author Unknown: “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” (1989) movie

“In many cases the person who gives advice hasn’t tried it himself and wishes to see it tested to see if it really works.” -Author Unknown

“If you would know the road ahead, ask someone who has traveled it.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t ever let anyone dull your sparkle.” -Author Unknown

“Pursue worthy aims.” -Solon (636 B.C.E. - 558 B.C.E.)

“Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.” -Author Unknown

Wisdom: Common sense in an uncommon degree.

“To be conscious of your ignorance is a great step to knowledge.” -Author Unknown

“Whoever said sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.” -Author Unknown

“Keep trying. Stay humble. Trust your instincts. Most importantly, act. When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” -Yogi Berra (Lawrence Peter ‘Yogi’ Berra (1925 - 2015))

“The words you speak today should be soft and tender . . . for tomorrow you may have to eat them.” -Author Unknown

“How you spend your time is more important than how you spend your money. Money mistakes can be corrected, but misspent time is gone forever.” -Author Unknown

“Wise people carry their possessions within them.” -Author Unknown

“You must get good at one of two things: planting in the Spring or begging in the Fall.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Few persons have good enough sight to see their own faults.” -Author Unknown

“He who seeks wisdom is a wise man; he who thinks he has found it is mad.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (4 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“Three things it is best to avoid: a strange dog, a flood, and a man who thinks he is wise.” -Author Unknown: Welsh proverb

“A mountain shames a molehill until both are humbled by the stars.” -Author Unknown: proverb

“We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.” -Barry LePatner

“It’s possible to own too much. A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never quite sure.” -Lee Segall

“Don’t trust advice from a person who’s in trouble.” -Author Unknown

“Two wrongs do not make a right, but they often make a fight.” -Author Unknown

Accept a proverb out of Wisdom’s schools -
“Barbers first learn to shave by shaving fools.”
-John Wolcot (1738 - 1819): “Works” (1792)

“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” -Socrates (470 B.C.E. - 399 B.C.E.)

“The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on; it is never of any use to oneself.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction.” -Author Unknown

“Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold - but so does a hard-boiled egg.” -Author Unknown

“It is traditional on these occasions for me to give you a bit of advice, which you will equally traditionally ignore.” -Prince Philip (Philip Mountbatten (born 1921))

“Dream big, work hard, stay focused, and surround yourself with good people.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t ever slam a door; you might want to go back.” -Author Unknown

“A wise word is not a substitute for a piece of herring.” -Sholom Aleichem

“I give myself, sometimes, admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it.” -Mary Wortley Montagu (1689 - 1762)

“Spend time with those you love, because one of these days you will say either, ‘I wish I had,’ or, ‘I’m glad I did.’” -Author Unknown

“Remember, it’s not the fall that hurts you; it’s the stop at the end.” -Author Unknown

“My parents told me, ‘Finish your dinner. People in China and India are starving.’ I tell my daughters, ‘Finish your homework. People in India and China are starving for your job.’” -Thomas Friedman

“If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.” -Author Unknown

Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone.
Don’t worry about the future, it hasn’t arrived.
Live in the present, and make it beautiful.
-Author Unknown

“Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child.” -Ron Wild

“The first step toward madness is to think oneself wise.” -Fernando de Rojas

Enjoy yourself,
It’s later than you think.
-Herb Magidson (1906 - 1986): “Enjoy Yourself” (1950) song

“Work hard, dress well, and be nice to people.” -Author Unknown

The road to wisdom?
Well it’s plain and simple to express:
Err and err and err again
but less and less and less.
-Piet Hein (1905 - 1996)

“No man is wise enough by himself.” -Plautus (Titus Maccius Plautus (254 B.C.E. - 184 B.C.E.))

“I always advise people never to give advice.” -P. G. Wodehouse (Pelham Grenville Wodehouse (1881 - 1975))

“Rise with the Sun and go to bed with the chickens.” -Author Unknown

“Many receive advice; only the wise profit from it.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“If I could only give three words of advice, they would be, ‘Tell the truth.’ If I got three more words, I’d add, ‘All the time.’” -Randy Pausch

“It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.” -Aeschylus (525 B.C.E. - 456 B.C.E.)

“You will always find some Eskimos ready to instruct the Congolese on how to cope with heat waves.” -Stanislaw Jerzy Lec (1909 - 1966): “Unkempt Thoughts” (1957)

“Be wise to-day; ’tis madness to defer.” -Edward Young (1683 - 1765): “Night Thoughts,” ‘Night’ Part 1, line 390

“The surest sign of wisdom is constant cheerfulness.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592))

“Don’t throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.” -Author Unknown: Swedish proverb

“Colors fade, temples crumble, empires fall, but wise words endure.” -Edward Thorndike (Edward Lee Thorndike (1874 - 1949))

“Be such a man, and live such a life, that if every man were such as you, and every life a life like yours, this Earth would be God’s Paradise.” -Phillips Brooks (1835 - 1893)

“The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right. That has been my secret, and I have never had any quarrels.” -Hannah Whitall Smith (1832 - 1911): as quoted in Logan Pearsall Smith, editor: “Philadelphia Quaker: The Letters of Hannah Whitall Smith” (1950), page 146

“Who lives without folly is not so wise as he thinks.” -François de La Rochefoucauld (also known as François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)).

“Wise sayings often fall on barren ground; but a kind word is never thrown away.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875)

“Charity gives itself rich; greed hoards itself poor.” -Author Unknown: German proverb

“We all admire the wisdom of people who come to us for advice.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875)

“Speak your mind but ride a fast horse.” -Author Unknown

“If a man loves to give advice, it is a sure sign that he himself wants it.” -Lord Halifax (George Savile (1633 - 1695))

“If I wanted to become a tramp, I would seek information and advice from the most successful tramp I could find. If I wanted to become a failure, I would seek advice from men who have never succeeded. If I wanted to succeed in all things, I would look around me for those who are succeeding, and do as they have done.” -Joseph Marshall Wade

“No man was ever wise by chance.” [English translation]
“Nulli sapere casu obtigit.” [original Latin]
-Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (4 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.” -David Starr Jordan (1851 - 1931): “The Philosophy of Despair” (1902)

“Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.” -Tobias Smollett

“Wisdom is the sunlight of the soul.” -Author Unknown

“Perhaps no one needs advice more than those who offer unsought advice.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn’t know what to do or that he can’t do it on his own.” -John Gray (born 1951)

“Wisdom is to live in the present, plan for the future, and profit from the past.” -Author Unknown

Good Advice

Don’t shirk
     Your work
For the sake
     Of a dream;
A fish
     In the dish
Is worth ten
     In the stream.

by Author Unknown

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” -Robert Brault (born 1938)

“Never take the advice of someone who has not had your kind of trouble.” -Sydney J. Harris (Sydney Justin Harris (1917 - 1986))

“Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind.” -Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834)

“As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.” -Andrew Carnegie (1835 - 1919)

Keep your eye on the ball.
Keep your shoulder to the wheel.
Keep your nose to the grindstone.
Now try to work in that position.
-Author Unknown

“Enjoy yourself. These are the good old days you’re going to miss in the years ahead.” -Author Unknown

“The wisest man is he who does not fancy that he is so at all.” -Nicolas Boileau-Despréaux (1636 - 1711)

“The mintage of wisdom is to know that rest is rust, and that real life is in love, laughter, and work.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.” -Author Unknown

“Whatever you are, try to be a good one.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1853): as quoted in Laurence Hutton: “A Boy I Knew and Four Dogs” (1898) autobiography

We are MFOL! . . . keeping good clean humor and so much more alive . . .

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