Fun & Learning

We Will Eat Our Shoes!

8/20/2018

We will eat our shoes if you cannot find something amusing or inspiring somewhere on ‘MFOL!’ . . . and we just baked a new pair . . . now we need some yellow mustard, cheddar cheese, sliced turkey, sliced onions, sliced tomatoes, lettuce leaf, a few drops of oil vinaigrette dressing . . .

If you came here looking for fun, you are in the right place . . . just travel down this page, skipping any topics that do not interest you, until you come to the ones that appeal to you. When you have a moment, be sure to explore some of the other pages on the website, such as the ‘Silly’ and the ‘Holidays’ pages, which can be viewed by clicking on the menu bar above.

Welcome to ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ Don’t just ‘have’ fun . . . ‘make’ the fun!

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Dating and Courting

8/19/2018

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He: Where did you get those big eyes?
She: They came with the face.

Overheard: I was on a date recently, and the guy took me horseback riding, and that was kind of fun . . . until we ran out of quarters!

The goal of dating is to determine if the two of you can become friends first, before doing anything else. Do not rush or be rushed into anything, such as dating exclusively, kissing, or sharing too much personal information. If you cannot be friends with your partner, then a long-term relationship may not be possible, and you will want to move on and date other people. Remember that you will want to be able to boast someday to people that you married your best friend.

Francis: What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
Frances: “I love you tons and tons!”

Julia: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
Jules: No, they had an apple.

Date Activities and Places
- Concert, live theater play, comedy performance, or lecture.
- Sightseeing, gallery or museum tour, or boat tour.
- Dinner and a movie.
- Religious services.
- Roller skating, bowling, walking.
- Rodeo, ballet, opera.
Can you think of other good date activities and places, and perhaps some activities and places that would not be good for dates, as for example, whale harpooning on the open seas, or coal mining?

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Remember When?

Remember when nearly sixteen,
On your very first date as a teen
     At the movies? If yes,
     Then I bet you can’t guess
What was shown on the cinema screen.

by Author Unknown

Linda: Who did the Little Mermaid date?
Lucinda: She went out with the tide.

You have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince - at least, that is the way it happens in fairy tales!

She: Would you remember me in a day?
He: Yes.
She: Would you remember me in a week?
He: Certainly.
She: Would you remember me in a month?
He: No doubt about it.
She: Would you remember me in year?
He: Why, of course.
She: Knock, knock.
He: Who’s there?
She: I thought you said that you would remember me!

“Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot might be stuck in a tree or something.” -Author Unknown

It was an awful night - somebody was wearing the same outfit she was - her date!

What She Ate

There was a young girl who ate mice,
Tin cans, old shoes, and hair lice.
     She’d go out on a date,
     And she’d eat what she ate -
And never get asked somewhere twice.

by Author Unknown

“Opposites attract in the short-run and turn into a disaster in the long-run.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: Everyone has got a Prince Charming. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

We live in a weird world, so it is recommended that dates be in public places with other people around. A woman should always carry enough money for taxi fare home and have the telephone number of a reliable taxi company. Additionally, a woman can arrange to have a friend or relative call her at a designated time during a date, and if the telephone is not answered, then someone can go to the prearranged place of the date to check up on things. A friend or relative can also write down the license plate number of the vehicle in which a woman’s date drives when she is picked up, or better yet, she can drive her own vehicle to the date.

“People tell me there are plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all, but I am human, and I do not date fish.” -Author Unknown

Curly Locks

Curly Locks, Curly Locks,
     Wilt thou be mine?
Thou shalt not wash dishes
     Nor yet feed the swine,
But sit on a cushion
     And sew a fine seam
And feed upon strawberries,
     Sugar, and cream.

by Author Unknown: Mother Goose rhyme

“Hey, guys, one quality I’m not looking for in a man is the ability to maintain a virtual farm . . . just so you know.” -Unidentified Woman

Online dating has benefits and drawbacks. Many people misrepresent themselves online because it is easy to do so; they submit photographs of other people and claim it is them; they fib about their income, employment status, criminal records, and other personal details. Some of them are fraudsters. Some of the profiles on dating websites are not even of real people, but are fake profiles set up to lure more people onto the sites.

“My boyfriend and I met online and we’d been dating for over a year. I introduced Hans to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we met over the Internet. He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick me up. Ever the tech enthusiast, Hans naively replied, ‘I just used a regular 56K modem.’” -Anne McConnell

Max: Why did the apple go out with a fig?
Maxine: Because it could not find a ‘date.’

Remembering bits of information about a person and working them into conversations is not only highly flattering but also shows interest.

How Passion Ate

I knew a girl named Passion;
     I asked her for a date.
I took her out to dinner,
     And gosh, how passionate!

by Author Unknown

Hey, guys, when you are low on funds and taking your gal out on a date, just remember that every night the stars put on a show for free.

Dating can be done as a couple or more than one couple. Two couples on a date are called a double-date. More than two couples is called a group date.

“Normal people flirting: Hey, you are cute - we should go out sometime! Me trying to flirt: So do you like bread . . .” -Author Unknown

A boy was about to go on his first date, and was nervous about what to talk about. He asked his father for advice. The father replied, “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.” The boy picked up his date and they went to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stared at each other for a long time, and the boy’s nervousness builds. He remembered his father’s advice, and chose the first topic. He asked the girl, “Do you like potato pancakes?” She said, “No,” and the silence returned. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thought of his father’s suggestion and turned to the second item on the list. He asked, “Do you have a brother?” Again, the girl said, “No,” and there was silence again. The boy then played his last card. He thought of his father’s advice and asked the girl the following question: “If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?”

A chaperone on a date is a mature responsible adult who is present to make sure the dating youngsters behave themselves and do not get into trouble.

Read Dating: A form of speed dating in which the participants display a list of their favorite books underneath their name tags in order to facilitate the identification of a common interest.

Isn’t it about time you asked that special someone on a date?

If a man cannot decide what to wear on a date, he might want to wear something blue. Women are attracted to men in blue, we have been told.

“I don’t need to flirt; I will win you over with my social awkwardness!” -Author Unknown

“I won’t date a guy who doesn’t own a toolbox. I’m not saying you need to be able to knock down a wall or build a house or anything like that. But I’ve been out with a couple of guys who didn’t own toolboxes, and they couldn’t even change a light bulb.” -Kristy Swanson

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gwen.
Gwen, who?
Gwen will I see you again?

Hey, do you want to go out sometime? Oh, you say you do not date websites? Well, that is fine . . . we will just continue with more mildly amusing material . . .

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Knock-Knock Jokes

8/15/2018

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Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin, who?
Justin the neighborhood and thought I would say hello!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange, who?
Orange you glad I came by?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Honeybee.
Honeybee, who?
Honeybee a deer and open the door, please.

Knock, knock.
Who’s -
Interrupting cow - moo-oo-oo!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
A bee.
A bee, who?
A bee, c, d, e, f, g . . .

Knock, knock!
It’s open - come on in!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wendy.
Wendy, who?
Wendy red, red robin come bob, bob, bobbin’ along . . .

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alice.
Alice, who?
Alice forgiven, please come home.

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock . . .
Now hang on a minute! Who’s there?
Charlie the Centipede.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Zeke.
Zeke, who?
Zeke and ye shall find . . .

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nobel.
Nobel, who?
No bell, that’s why I knocked.

The ‘doorbell’ was at one time a real bell, either mounted on the outside of a building next to a door or inside a building with one end of a cord tied to it and the other end of the cord fed through a hole near the door; a visitor would shake the bell or pull the cord to announce him or herself. While the first electric doorbell was invented by Joseph Henry in 1831, knocking on the door or doorframe with one’s knuckles still remains the most common method of announcing oneself. And, of course, when a door is open or there is no door, the holler often seems to work well enough.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Danielle.
Danielle, who?
Danielle so loud, I can hear you!

Sign: Doorbell Broken. Please Knock Or Shout ‘Ding-Dong’ Really Loud.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The electrician who has come to fix your broken doorbell.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben, who?
Ben knocking so long that my hand hurts!

Text your friend: “I’ve got a great knock-knock joke. Want to hear it?” When he or she texts back, “Yes,” reply, “Okay, you start.”

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice, who?
Candice be the last knock, knock joke?
Well, we all know the answer to that - not likely!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Egg.
Egg, who?
Egg-cited to see me?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Eileen.
Eileen, who?
Eileen this way, Eileen that way.

National Knock-Knock Day is on 31 October of each year - wait, isn’t that Halloween Day? Why would anyone want to knock on a door on Halloween?

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Doughnut.
Doughnut, who?
Doughnut open the door - there are monsters everywhere!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gladys.
Gladys, who?
Gladys you and not another monster!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
A little child who can’t reach the doorbell!

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Octopus!

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Value.
Value, who?
Value be my Valentine?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tyrone!
Tyrone, who?
Tyrone shoelaces!

TSPKKJ: The Society for the Proliferation of Knock-Knock Jokes.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Gorilla
Gorilla, who?
Gorilla me a hamburger, please, I’m hungry!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gouda.
Gouda, who?
Gouda see you again!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Just a minute, and I’ll see.

Doorknockers are typically pieces of iron, steel, or brass that are raised and struck against a metal plate on a door to make a noise that lets someone inside know that a visitor is waiting outside.

Molly: What did the inventor of the door-knocker win?
Dolly: The ‘no bell’ prize!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there!
Luke!
Luke, who?
Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Water.
Water, who?
Water we waiting for? Let’s get on to the next knock-knock joke!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dakota.
Dakota, who?
Dakota fits fine, but the trousers are too long.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Woo.
Woo, who?
You sure do get excited about knock-knock jokes!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie, who?
Annie body home?

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Jess.
Jess, who?
Jess me and my shadow.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who, who?
Is there an owl in here?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Love.
Love, who?
Love you!

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Waiter.
Waiter, who?
Waiter minute while I tie my shoelaces.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ike.
Ike, who?
Ike can’t stop laughing!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tank!
Tank, who?
You’re welcome!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash, who?
No, thanks; I prefer peanuts.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Adore.
Adore, who?
Adore is all that stands between us, my sweet!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Patty O.
Patty O, who?
Patty O’Furniture!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
House
House, who?
House it going?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben, who?
Ben ringing your doorbell for a while now.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Shirley!
Shirley, who?
Shirley you must know me by now!

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Doris.
Doris, who?
Doris locked, so I had to knock!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pasture.
Pasture, who?
Pasture bedtime, isn’t it?

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . we have traveled from the Land of Imagination into the Real World . . . in search of milk and cookies . . . and broccoli . . .

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Nonsense

8/12/2018

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We do declare that to be such wonderful nonsense . . .

To Be or Not to Be

I sometimes think I’d rather crow
     And be a rooster than to roost
And be a crow. But I dunno.
     A rooster he can roost also,
Which don’t seem fair when crows can’t crow.
     Which may help some. Still I dunno.
Crows should be glad of one thing, though;
     Nobody thinks of eating crow,
While roosters they are good enough
     For anyone unless they’re tough.
There are lots of tough old roosters, though,
     And anyway a crow can’t crow,
So mebby roosters stand more show.
     It looks that way. But I dunno.

by Author Unknown

“Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.” -Noam Chomsky (Avram Noam Chomsky (born 1928)): “Syntactic Structures” (1957); an example of a sentence that is grammatically correct yet meaningless

Moorlands of the Not

Across the moorlands of the Not
     We chase the gruesome When;
And hunt the Itness of the What
     Through forests of the Then.
Into the Inner Consciousness
     We track the crafty Where;
We spear the Ego tough, and beard
     The Selfhood in his lair.

With lassos of the brain we catch
     The Isness of the Was;
And in the copses* of the Whence
     We hear the think bees buzz.
We climb the slippery Whichbark tree
     To watch the Thusness roll
And pause betimes in gnostic rimes
     To woo the Over Soul.

by Author Unknown
*copses: a small groups of trees

“Yally Bally had a jolly golliwog. Feeling folly, Yally Bally bought his jolly golliwog a dolly made of holly. The golliwog, feeling jolly, named the holly dollie Polly. So Yally Bally’s jolly golliwog’s holly dollie Polly’s also jolly!” -Author Unknown

“To appreciate nonsense requires a serious interest in life.” -Gelett Burgess (Frank Gelett Burgess (1866 - 1951)): “The Romance of the Commonplace” (1902), ‘The Sense of Humor’

I love to stand upon my head
     And think of things sublime
Until my mother interrupts
     And says it’s dinner-time.
by Author Unknown

“Nothing is capable to being well set to music that is not nonsense.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719): as quoted in “The Spectator” (21 March 1711), Number 18

The Moon Is Up

The Moon is up, the Moon is up!
   The larks begin to fly,
And, like a drowsy buttercup,
   Dark Phoebus skims the sky,
The elephant, with cheerful voice,
   Sings blithely on the spray;
The bats and beetles all rejoice,
   Then let me, too, be gay.

I would I were a porcupine,
   And wore a peacock’s tail;
To-morrow, if the Moon but shine,
   Perchance I’ll be a whale.
Then let me, like the cauliflower,
   Be merry while I may,
And, ere there comes a sunny hour
   To cloud my heart, be gay!

by Author Unknown

“If half the road was made of jam,
   The other half of bread,
How very nice my walks would be,”
   The greedy infant said.
by Author Unknown

“Nonsense wakes up the brain cells. And it helps develop a sense of humor, which is awfully important in this day and age.” -Doctor Seuss (pseudonym of Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 - 1991)): as quoted in ‘Author Isn’t Just a Cat in the Hat’ by Miles Corwin, published in “The Los Angeles Times” (27 November 1983); also in Philip Nel: “Dr. Seuss: American Icon” (2004), page 38

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Hickory Dickory Dock

Hickory Dickory Dock,
   The mouse ran up the clock,
The clock struck one, and down he run,
   Hickory Dickory Dock!

Hickory Dickory Dock,
   The bird looked at the clock,
The clock struck two, and away she flew,
   Hickory Dickory Dock

Hickory Dickory Dock,
   The dog barked at the clock,
The clock struck three, fiddle-de-dee,
   Hickory Dickory Dock!

Hickory Dickory Dock,
   The bear slept on the clock,
The clock struck four, he ran out the door,
   Hickory Dickory Dock!

Hickory Dickory Dock,
   The bee buzzed round the clock,
The clock struck five, she went to her hive,
   Hickory Dickory Dock!

Hickory Dickory Dock,
   The hen clucked at the clock,
The clock struck six, fiddle-sticks,
   Hickory Dickory Dock!

Hickory Dickory Dock,
   The cat ran round the clock,
The clock struck seven, she wanted to get ’em,
   Hickory Dickory Dock!

Hickory Dickory Dock,
   The horse jumped over the clock,
The clock struck eight, he ate some cake,
   Hickory Dickory Dock!

Hickory Dickory Dock,
   The cow danced on the clock,
The clock struck nine, she felt so fine,
   Hickory Dickory Dock!

Hickory Dickory Dock,
   The pig oinked at the clock,
The clock struck ten, she did it again,
   Hickory Dickory Dock!

Hickory Dickory Dock,
   The snake squirmed out of the clock,
The clock struck eleven, he said, “Let me get in,”
   Hickory Dickory Dock!

Hickory Dickory Dock,
   The snail slimed up the clock,
The clock struck twelve, what a sticky self,
   Hickory Dickory Dock!

by Author Unknown

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“Don’t, for Heaven’s sake, be afraid of talking nonsense! But you must pay attention to your nonsense.” -Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889 - 1951): “On Certainty” (German: “Über Gewissheit”) (1969), page 56

I Always Sneeze

Franks and fries, and French fondue
     Beans and burgers and biscuits, too
Chicken, chili, and cheddar cheese
     When I munch too much, I always sneeze!

by Author Unknown

Riddle: If it takes a woodpecker eight months to peck a four-inch hole in a tree, how long would it take a grasshopper to kick all the seeds out of a pickle four inches long?
Solution: There is no answer for this ridiculous riddle!

“Nonsense is the oddly appealing stuff that makes more or less sense than stuff that either makes sense or makes no sense.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dee

Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee
     Resolved to have a battle,
For Tweedle-dum said Tweedle-dee
     Had spoiled his nice new rattle.
Just then flew by a monstrous crow,
     As big as a tar-barrel,
Which frightened both the heroes so
     They quite forgot their quarrel.

by Author Unknown

“I conclude that there is as much sense in nonsense as there is nonsense in sense.” -Anthony Burgess (pseudonym of John Burgess Wilson (1917 - 1993)): “New York Times Book Review” (9 August 1987)

King Arthur

When good King Arthur ruled the land,
     He was a goodly king:
He stole three pecks of barley meal,
     To make a bag-pudding.
A bag-pudding the king did make,
     And stuffed it well with plums;
And in it put great lumps of fat,
     As big as my two thumbs.
The king and queen did eat thereof,
     And noblemen beside;
And what they could not eat that night,
     The queen next morning fried.

by Author Unknown

“Whenever you come near the human race, there’s layers and layers of nonsense.” -Thornton Wilder (Thornton Niven Wilder (1897 - 1975)): “Our Town” (1938)

Three Acres of Land

My father left me three acres of land,
     Sing ivy, sing ivy;
My father left me three acres of land,
     Sing holly, go whistle, and ivy!

I ploughed it with a ram’s horn,
     Sing ivy, sing ivy;
And sowed it all over with one peppercorn.
     Sing holly, go whistle, and ivy!

I harrowed it with a bramble bush,
     Sing ivy, sing ivy;
And reaped it with my little penknife,
     Sing holly, go whistle, and ivy!

I got the mice to carry it to the barn,
     Sing ivy, sing ivy;
And thrashed it with a goose’s quill,
     Sing holly, go whistle, and ivy!

I got the cat to carry it to the mill,
     Sing ivy, sing ivy;
The miller he swore he would have her paw,
And the cat she swore she would scratch his face,
     Sing holly, go whistle, and ivy!

by Author Unknown

“The nonsense that charms is close to sense.” -Mason Cooley (1927 - 2002): “City Aphorisms, Eleventh Selection” (1993)

“There are two ways of dealing with nonsense in this world. One is to put nonsense in the right place; as when people put nonsense into nursery rhymes. The other is to put nonsense in the wrong place; as when they put it into educational addresses, psychological criticisms, and complaints against nursery rhymes or other normal amusements of mankind.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936)): “Child Psychology and Nonsense” (15 October 1921)

A Riddle

The man in the wilderness asked of me
     How many strawberries grew in the sea.
I answered him as I thought good,
     As many as red herrings grow in the wood.

by Author Unknown

“No one is exempt from talking nonsense; the misfortune is to do it solemnly.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)): “Essays” (March 1580) Book III, Chapter I

A little nonsense now and then
     Is relished by the wisest men.
by Author Unknown

Mingle a little folly with your wisdom;
a little nonsense now and then is pleasant.
[English translation]
Misce stultitiam consiliis brevem:
Dulce est desipere in loco.
[original Latin]
-Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)): “Carmina,” Book IV, Ode 12, line 27

If

If all the land were apple-pie,
     And all the sea were ink;
And all the trees were bread and cheese,
     What should we do for drink?

by Author Unknown

“‘Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected.” -Charles Lamb

A Song on King William III

As I walked by myself,
     And talked to myself,
Myself said unto me,
     Look to thyself,
Take care of thyself,
     For nobody cares for thee.

I answered myself,
     And said to myself,
In the self-same repartee,
     Look to thyself,
Or not look to thyself,
     The selfsame thing will be.

by Author Unknown

“Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgive the nonsense of those who think they talk sense.” -Robert Frost: letter (7 August 1915) to Louis Untermeyer

“Nonsense and beauty have close connections - closer connections than Art will allow.” -E. M. Forster: “The Longest Journey” (1907), Part I, Chapter 12

Lines by a Medium

I might not, if I could;
     I should not, if I might;
Yet if I should I would,
     And, shoulding, I should quite!

I must not, yet I may;
     I can, and still I must;
But ah! I cannot - nay,
     To must I may not, just!

I shall, although I will,
     But be it understood,
If I may, can, shall - still
     I might, could, would, or should!

by Author Unknown

“It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled seas of thought.” -John Kenneth Galbraith: “The Affluent Society” (1958), Chapter 11, section iv

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . the best bunch of nonsense on the web . . . remember, it is not a waste of time and effort if it brings a smile to someone’s face . . .

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Faith and Belief

8/7/2018

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I Believe

I believe in the Sun,
   even when it is not shining.
I believe in love,
   even when I do not feel it.
I believe in God,
   even when He is silent.

by Author Unknown: lines written on the wall of a cellar in a building destroyed by bombing during World War 2, in Cologne, Germany

“Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we’ll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“To disbelieve is easy; to scoff is simple; to have faith is harder.” -Louis L’Amour (born Louis Dearborn LaMoore (1908 - 1988))

“I truly believe we can either see the connections, celebrate them, and express gratitude for our blessings, or we can see life as a string of coincidences that have no meaning or connection. For me, I’m going to believe in miracles, celebrate life, rejoice in the views of eternity, and hope my choices will create a positive ripple effect in the lives of others. This is my choice.” -Mike Ericksen

“Sometimes the only available transportation is a leap of faith.” -Margaret Shepard

“Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe.” -Mark Victor Hansen

“Faith does not make things easy. It makes them possible.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” Luke, chapter 1, verse 37

“Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, and faith looks up . . .” -Elizabeth Kenny (1880 - 1952)

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Faith

Doubt sees the obstacles,
     Faith sees the way.

Doubt sees the darkest night,
     Faith sees the day.

Doubt dreads to take a step,
     Faith soars on high.

Doubt questions, “Who believes?”
     Faith answers, “I.”

by Author Unknown

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“Faith has to do with things that are not seen, and hope with things that are not in hand.” -Thomas Aquinas (1225 - 1274)

“Start each day by saying to yourself, ‘I can do this.’ As you leave home, say to yourself, ‘I can do this.’ At each step along the way, say, ‘I can do this!’ You can, and you will, because you are an ‘I can do this’ kind of person with faith in yourself, and the knowing that ‘I can do this.’” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Faith never fails: it is a miracle worker. It looks beyond all boundaries, transcends all limitations, penetrates all obstacles, and sees the goal.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Granted that faith cannot be proved, what harm will come to you if you gamble on its truth and it proves false? If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager, then, without hesitation, that He exists.” -Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662), commenting on belief in God (a quotation often referred to by persons other than its author as ‘Pascal’s Wager’)

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible” (King James Version (1611)), ‘Epistle to the Hebrews,’ chapter 11, verse 1

“Faith without works is like a bird without wings; though she may hop with her companions on Earth, yet she will never fly with them to Heaven.” -Francis Beaumont

“Fear, too, is a type of faith - faith that it won’t work out.” -Mary Tricky (similar quotation attributed to Elizabeth David)

“If I didn’t have spiritual faith, I would be a pessimist. But I’m an optimist. I’ve read the last page in the Bible. It’s all going to turn out all right.” -Billy Graham (William Franklin ‘Billy’ Graham, Junior (born 1918))

“Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

“Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“When I was younger, I thought that the key to success was just hard work. But the real foundation is faith. Faith - the idea that ‘I can do it’ - is the opposite of fear (‘What if I fail?’). And faith creates motivation, which in turn leads to commitment, hard work, preparation . . . and eventually success.” -Howard Twilley (born 1943)

“We are what we believe we are.” -C. S. Lewis (Clive Staples Lewis (1898 - 1963))

“Act like you are blessed. Talk like you are blessed. Walk like you are blessed. Put actions behind your faith and one day you will see it become a reality.” -Joel Osteen (born 1963)

“I could not say I believe. I know! I have had the experience of being gripped by something that is stronger than myself, something that people call God.” -Carl Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961))

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Faith

Faith . . .
Makes the outlook calm,
the uplook constant,
the inlook accurate.

Faith . . .
Makes yesterday a stepping stone,
today a new beginning
tomorrow a limitless possibility.

by Author Unknown

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“Faith is the hostess that will not entertain doubt.” -Jenna Wright

“There is no way to know anything for sure except by faith.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.” -Alex Hamilton (born 1936): “Born Old” radio broadcast, as quoted in the “Listener” (9 November 1978)

“Faith can reach beyond the limits of current reason.” -Rosemary M. Wixom

“Faith is the very first thing you should pack in a hope chest.” -Sarah Ban Breathnach

“I believe in the principle that I can make a difference in this world. It may be ever so small, but it will count for the greater good. The goodness of the world in which we live is the accumulated goodness of many small and seemingly inconsequential acts.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that thou mayest believe, but believe that thou mayest understand.” -Augustine of Hippo (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430): “Ioannis Evangelium”

“Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.” -Author Unknown

“Just as a small fire is extinguished by the storm whereas a large fire is enhanced by it - likewise a weak faith is weakened by predicament and catastrophes whereas a strong faith is strengthened by them.” -Viktor Frankl (Viktor Emil Frankl (1905 - 1997))

“Faith is to believe what you do not yet see; the reward for this faith is to see what you believe.” -Augustine of Hippo (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430)

“It is good to dream, but it is better to dream and work. Faith is mighty, but action with faith is mightier. Desiring is helpful, but work and desire are invincible.” - Thomas Robert Gaines

“The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen.” -Frank Lloyd Wright (1867 - 1959)

“Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he is.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Fear imprisons, faith liberates; fear paralyzes, faith empowers; fear disheartens, faith encourages; fear sickens, faith heals; fear makes useless, faith makes serviceable.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969)

“In actual life every great enterprise begins with and takes its first forward step in faith.” -Friedrich von Schlegel (1772 - 1829)

“I feel for all faiths the warm sympathy of one who has come to learn that even the trust in reason is a precarious faith, and that we are all fragments of darkness groping for the Sun. I know no more about the ultimates than the simplest urchin in the streets.” -Will Durant (William James ‘Will’ Durant (1885 - 1981)): “The Story of Civilization” (1935 - 1975), volume 6, ‘The Reformation’ (1957), ‘Preface’

“Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.” -Brene Brown

When you walk to the edge of all the light you have
And you take the first step into the darkness of the unknown
You must believe that one of two things will happen
There will be something solid for you to stand upon
Or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton: “The Leaning Tree” (1 January 1975), ‘Faith’; type of work: collected poems by a single author in book form; author’s website: https://patrickoverton.com

“The question what to believe is perhaps the most momentous that anyone can put to himself. Our beliefs are not to be classed among the luxuries, but among the necessaries of existence.” -Felix Adler (1851 - 1933)

“The progress of mankind has always depended upon those who, seemingly isolated and powerless in their own day, have seen their vision and remained true to it. In the darkening corridors of time, they preserved integral their vision of the daylight at the end. This is a matter not of calculation but of faith. Our work may be small and its results invisible to us. But we may rest assured it will come to fruition in God’s good time.” -John Ferguson: “The Enthronement of Love”

“They are able because they think they are able.” -Vergil: “The Aeneid” (about 29 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.), verse 231; variously translated as “They can because they think they can.”

“Faith is the antidote for fear.” -Russell M. Nelson

“He does not believe, that does not live according to his Belief.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 1838

“If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

“The only thing that separates any one of us from excellence is fear, and the opposite of fear is faith.” -Michael J. Fox (pseudonym of Michael Andrew Fox (born 1961))

“Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe.” -Author Unknown

“It is a good thing to believe; it is a good thing to admire. By continually looking upwards, our minds will themselves grow upwards; as a man, by indulging in habits of scorn and contempt for others, is sure to descend to the level of those he despises.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875)

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . be of good cheer and talk to the world . . . of happiness . . .

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Resenting and Forgiving

8/4/2018

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“Forgiving is not forgetting, it’s letting go of the hurt.” -Mary McLeod Bethune (Mary Jane McLeod Bethune (1875 - 1955))

“Without forgiveness life is governed by . . . an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.” -Roberto Assagioli (1888 - 1974)

“Don’t carry a grudge. While you’re carrying the grudge the other guy’s out dancing.” -Buddy Hackett (1924 - 2003)

“The best revenge is a vow to never be like the one who hurt you.” -Author Unknown

“Resentment or grudges do no harm to the person against whom you hold these feelings but every day and every night of your life, they are eating at you.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

Forgiveness is a funny thing;
It warms the heart and cools the sting.
by William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994)

“I must forgive without noise or fuss.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” -Catherine Ponder (born 1927)

“When you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.” -Author Unknown

“Time spent in getting even would be better spent in getting ahead.” -Author Unknown

“I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing.” -Bette Midler (born 1945)

“Forgiveness means letting go of the past.” -Gerald Jampolsky (Gerald Gersham Jampolsky (born 1925))

“Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

“If you hug to yourself any resentment against anybody else, you destroy the bridge by which God would come to you.” -Peter Marshall (1902 - 1949)

“Life is an adventure in forgiveness.” -Norman Cousins (1915 - 1990): as quoted in the “Saturday Review” (15 April 1978)

“There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))

“Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.” -Suzanne Somers (pseudonym of Suzanne Mahoney (born 1946)), website www.suzannesomers.com.

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Let’s let bygones be bygones
     And start all over again.
Let us forget we parted
     And be the same as we started.

Remember, the sunshine
     Must always follow the rain.
So, let’s let bygones be bygones
     And start all over again.

by Joseph George Gilbert: “Let Bygones Be Bygones” (1933), stanzas 1 and 2

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“The heaviest thing to carry is a grudge.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t get even . . . get odd!” -Author Unknown

“You must forgive those who trespass against you before you can look to Heaven for forgiveness.” -Author Unknown: “The Talmud”

Good, to forgive;
Best, to forget.
by Robert Browning (1812 - 1889)

“The best revenge is massive success.” -Frank Sinatra (1915 - 1998)

“Let us forget and forgive injuries.” -Miguel de Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1547 - 1616))

“It is easier to forgive and forget than to resent and remember.” -Author Unknown

“He that cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach Heaven; for all men need to be forgiven.” -George Herbert (1593 - 1633)

“The best manner of avenging ourselves is by not resembling him who has injured us.” -Jane Porter (1776 - 1850)

“The best revenge is to live on and prove yourself.” -Eddie Vedder (born 1964)

“Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past, by old grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new business.” -Robin Casarjian

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” -Paul Boese (Paul Lewis Boese (1923 - 1976))

“Forgive, son; men are men; they needs must err.” -Euripides (484 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“I think there are two kinds of forgiveness: the kind that when you forgive you’re also giving them another chance, or the kind where you forgive, but move on without them. Use both wisely.” -S. B.

“No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.” -George Nathan (George Jean Nathan (1882 - 1958))

“Forgiveness takes the burden of hate, guilt, and bitterness off your back and, with a lighter load, you can climb higher and faster, and be much happier in the process.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): “Essays” (1597)

“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Luke,’ chapter 23, verse 34

The lesson has not been lost . . .

“Since nothing we intend is ever faultless, and nothing we attempt ever without error, and nothing we achieve without some measure of finitude and fallibility we call humanness, we are saved by forgiveness.” -David Augsburger (David W. Augsburger (born 1938))

“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” -Jonathan Lockwood Huie (born 1945)

“How often could things be remedied by a word. How often is it left unspoken.” -Norman Douglas (1868 - 1952)

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.” -Mahatma Gandhi (Mohandas Karamchand ‘Mahatma’ Gandhi (1869 - 1948))

“Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace.” -Buddha (also known as Siddhārtha Guatama or Shakyamuni Buddha (about 563 B.C.E. - about 483 B.C.E.))

“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.” -Marianne Williamson (born 1952)

“Forgiveness is the final form of love.” -Reinhold Niebuhr (1892 - 1971)

“Holding on to anger, resentment, and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache, and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.” -Joan Lunden (born 1950)

“Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.” -Charlotte Brontë (1816 - 1855): “Jane Eyre” (1847), chapter VI

“In taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy, but in passing it over he is superior.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): “Essays” (1597)

“Nothing produces such odd results as trying to get even.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce ‘Frank’ Jones (1853 - 1935))

“Let It Go: Forgive So That You Can Be Forgiven” (2013): title of book by T. D. Jakes (Thomas Dexter Jakes, Senior (born 1957))

“Hold hands, not grudges.” -Author Unknown

“If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we would find in each person’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

“Sometimes the best revenge is to smile and move on.” -Author Unknown

“To forgive and forget means to throw away dearly bought experience.” -Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860)

“Forgiveness is just another name for freedom.” -Byron Katie (born 1942)

“People are more than the worst thing they have ever done in their lives.” -Helen Prejean (born 1939)

“Forgiving is not a gift to someone else. Forgiving is your gift to yourself - a great gift - the gift of happiness.” -Jonathan Lockwood Huie (born 1945)

“He who forgives ends the quarrel.” -Author Unknown

“Forgiveness is not an emotion, it’s a decision.” -Randall Worley

“Holding a grudge does not hurt the person against whom the grudge is held, it hurts the one who holds it.” -Booker T. Washington (Booker Taliaferro Washington (1856 - 1915))

“Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945))

“Some people insist - often very forcefully - that we must both forgive and forget, or that we have to either forgive or forget . . . as if those are our only options. Those are not our only options. When what has been done to us is horrendous, it becomes unforgiveable and unforgettable, so we can only choose an eventual third option: We neither forgive nor forget, but we learn to move past the pain, the fear, the disappointment, and the constant awareness, to a point at which we can live our lives.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Forgiveness does not mean excusing.” -C. S. Lewis (Clive Staples Lewis (1898 - 1963))

“The more a man knows, the more he forgives.” -Catherine II (also known as Catherine the Great (1729 - 1796))

“Forgotten is forgiven.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940))

“Do not burn bridges that you might have to cross again someday.” -Author Unknown

“Any man can seek revenge; it takes a king or prince to grant a pardon.” -Arthur J. Rehrat

“The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway.” -Henry Boye

“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” -Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744): “An Essay on Criticism”

I forgive myself for having believed for so long that . . .
I was never good enough to have, get, be what I wanted.
by Ceanne DeRohan

“Let not the Sun go down upon your wrath.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” Ephesians,’ chapter 4, verse 26

“Forgiveness is not something we do for other people. We do it for ourselves to get well and move on.” -Author Unknown

“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive, but do not forget.” -Thomas Szasz (1920 - 2012): “The Second Sin” (1973), ‘Personal Conduct’

“Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent free in your head.” -Author Unknown

“I once met a man who had forgiven an injury. I hope some day to meet the man who has forgiven an insult.” -Thomas Buxton (Thomas Fowell Buxton (1786 - 1845))

“Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself.” -Harriet Nelson (Harriet Uts Nelson)

“I forgive people, but that doesn’t mean I trust them.” -Author Unknown

“Forgiving people can be extremely difficult, if not impossible, when you fear that people will wrong you again, and that once again just as before, you will be powerless to stop them.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180)): “The Meditations” (C.E. 167), Book 6, meditation 5

“Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds.” -Sidney and Suzanne Simon

“Nothing on Earth consumes a man more quickly than the passion of resentment.” -Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900): “Ecce Homo” (1888)

“Forgive, forget. Bear with the faults of others as you would have them bear with yours. Be patient and understanding. Life is too short to be vengeful or malicious.” -Phillips Brooks (1835 - 1893)

“Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it forgoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury.” -E. H. Chapin (Edwin Hubbell Chapin (1814 - 1880)): “Living Words” (1861)

“Forgiveness is the noblest vengeance.” -H. G. Bohn (Henry George Bohn (1796 - 1884))

“Living well is the best revenge.” -George Herbert (1593 - 1633)

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . if you forgot to bring your sense of humor, you can borrow ours . . . why, yes, it is a little off-kilter . . .

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Differences and Individuality

8/3/2018

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Birds of a feather flock together . . . and then there are the birds of a different feather . . . shown is Major Mitchell’s Pink Cockatoo, scientifically named Lophochroa leadbeateri, a native of Australia.

“You laugh at me because I’m different; I laugh at you because you’re all the same.” -Jonathan Davis

“There are three types of people the world does not understand: madmen, geniuses, and people who mumble.” -Author Unknown

“My father (Danny Thomas) used to tell me there are two kinds of people, the takers and the givers. ‘The takers sometimes eat better,’ he would say, ‘but the givers always sleep better.’” -Marlo Thomas (born 1937)

“Different men seek after happiness in different ways and by different means, and so make for themselves different modes of life and forms of government.” -Aristotle (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.)

“People can be divided into three groups. Those who make things happen. Those who watch things happen. And those who wonder what happened.” -Nicholas Murray Butler (1852 - 1947)

“There are two kinds of people in the world: you, and everyone else.” -Author Unknown

“There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who cannot.” -Author Unknown

“Some people work up steam and some only generate a fog.” -Author Unknown

“There may be said to be two classes of people in the world: those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes, and those who do not.” -Robert Charles Benchley (1889 - 1945)

“There are three kinds of people in the world. There are wolves and there are sheep - and then there are those who protect the sheep from the wolves.” -Christopher Shields

“In the not-so-long-ago-days, there were only four kinds of people: menfolk, womenfolk, youngfolk, and oldfolk. These days, they’ve divided us up into a near-infinite number of classifications, not to help us or to make the world a better place, but to manipulate us into being and doing what folks may not necessarily want to be and do.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move.” -attributed to Ben Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790))

Overheard: There are two types of people: those who are forgetful and . . . uh . . .

“In life we shall find many men that are great, and some that are good, but very few men that are both great and good.” -C. C. Colton (Charles Caleb Colton (1780 - 1832))

Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.
by Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor ‘Eleanor’ Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“I don’t divide the world into the weak and the strong, or the successes and the failures, those who make it or those who don’t. I divide the world into learners and non-learners.” -Benjamin Barber

“Youth looks ahead, old age looks back, and middle age looks tired.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: As different as two peas in a pod . . .

“An unlearned carpenter of my acquaintance once said in my hearing: ‘There is very little difference between one man and another; but what little there is, is very important.’” -William James (1842 - 1910): “The Will to Believe and Other Essays in Popular Philosophy” (1897), ‘The Importance of Individuals’

“There are two kinds of people one can call reasonable: those who serve God with all their heart because they know him, and those who seek him with all their heart because they do not know him.” -Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

“A boss creates fear, a leader confidence. A boss fixes blame, a leader corrects mistakes. A boss knows all, a leader asks questions. A boss makes work drudgery, a leader makes it interesting. A boss is interested in himself or herself, a leader is interested in the group.” -Russell H. Ewing

“I’d rather be a climbing ape than a falling angel.” -Terry Pratchett (1948 - 2015)

There are at least two sorts of people who work in complex organizations like governments, businesses, and schools. There are those who, when a problem reaches them, contribute to its solution; and there are those who, when a problem comes to them, escalate it into something worse. A man of the latter type was called into the chief executive’s office and told, “Roberto, don’t be an embolus.” “A what?” Roberto asked. “A kind of blood clot - something that circulates through the system causing trouble.”

“Many are destined to reason wrongly; others, not to reason at all, and others to persecute those who reason.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“You be you and I’ll be me.” -Billy Connolly

Somebody once said that there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good morning, Lord,” and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good Lord, it’s morning!”

“Often the people who are different are the ones who make all the difference in this world.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Variety’s the very spice of life,
That gives it all its flavor.
by William Cowper (1731 - 1800)

“The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit. Try, if you can, to belong to the first class. There’s far less competition.” -Dwight Morrow (Dwight W. Morrow (1873 - 1931)): in a letter to his son, as quoted in Harold Nicolson: “Dwight Morrow” (1935)

“Cherish forever what makes you unique, ’cuz you’re really a yawn if it goes.” -Bette Midler (born 1945)

“There are two kinds of men who never amount to very much: Those who cannot do what they are told, and those who can do nothing else.” -Cyrus H. K. Curtis (Cyrus Hermann Kotzschmar Curtis (1850 - 1933))

It is possible to be different and yet also remarkably similar . . .

“Today, there are three kinds of people: the have’s, the have-not’s, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-have’s.” -Earl Wilson

Unique

Always remember that you’re unique
     Unequalled, uncommon, c’est magnifique
One of a kind, quite special and rare
     Singular, original, not one of a pair
Special, the exceptional you embody
     You’re really unique, just like everybody!

by Author Unknown

“There are three kinds of people in the world, the wills, the won’ts, and the can’ts. The first accomplish everything; the second oppose everything; the third fail in everything.” -Author Unknown: “Eclectic Magazine”

“We do not expect everyone to be exactly alike, and if we feel a cat should be like a dog, we are missing something important.” -Gladys Taber (Gladys Bagg Taber (1899 - 1980))

“Every human being is intended to have a character of his own; to be what no other is, and to do what no other can do.” -William Ellery Channing (1780 - 1842)

“I’m different. Always have been. It took a while but I have accepted that I am a magic not meant for everyone to understand, so they question. That’s okay. I will stay in my lane being all magical and stuff.” -Author Unknown

“Some people bear three kinds of trouble - the ones they’ve had, the ones they have, and the ones they expect to have.” -H. G. Wells (Herbert George Wells (1866 - 1946))

“Appreciate your uniqueness. Never in history has there been anyone exactly like you. Being one of a kind, you must be the best you can possibly be; develop your talents to the fullest. You can do anything you wish to do; the only limitation is your will. Make the most of the one and only you.” -Bob Keeshan (Robert James ‘Bob’ Keeshan (1927 - 2004))

“Beaten paths are for beaten men.” -Eric Johnston

“Each of us must dance to his own tune.” -Author Unknown: “M*A*S*H” television series; line spoken by character Charles Emerson Winchester III

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” -Rudyard Kipling (1865 - 1936)

“Everybody is unique. Compare not yourself with anybody else lest you spoil God’s curriculum.” -Israel ben Eliezer

“By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before.” -Edwin Elliot

“There are two types of people, those who extrapolate from incomplete data sets.” -Author Unknown

“Dare to be yourself.” -André Gide (1869 - 1951)

“A fruit salad is delicious precisely because each fruit maintains its own flavor.” -Sean Covey

“You are unrepeatable. There is a magic about you that is all your own.” -D. M. Dellinger

“Let’s acknowledge our differences and not deny them; appreciate them and value them; and each of us with our own uniqueness can contribute where we are needed. There is no need to go to war with each other upon the insistence that only one way of being or of doing is right.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you’re born to stand out?” -Oliver James

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in square holes . . . the ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules . . . you can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them, because they change things . . . they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” -Steve Jobs (1955 - 2011)

“There is only one you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself.” -Anthony Rapp

“At bottom every man knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this Earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“People can be divided into two classes: those who go ahead and do something, and those who sit still and inquire, ‘Why wasn’t it done the other way?’” -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Junior (1841 - 1935)

“Differences were meant not to divide but to enrich.” -J. H. Oldham

“Whatever else you may be sure of, be sure of this: that you are dreadfully like other people.” -James Russell Lowell (1819 - 1891): “My Study Windows” (1871)

“Each person is like a butterfly in the wind. Some can fly higher than the others. But each one flies the best it can. So why compare one against the other? Each one is special, each one is unique and beautiful.” -Author Unknown

“People are eternally divided into two classes: the believer, builder, and praiser; and the unbeliever, destroyer, and critic.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“There are ten kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary math, and those who do not.” -Author Unknown

“Cultivate your own capabilities, your own style. Appreciate the members of your family for who they are, even though their outlook or style may be miles different from yours. Rabbits don’t fly. Eagles don’t swim. Ducks look funny trying to climb. Squirrels don’t have feathers. Stop comparing. There’s plenty of room in the forest.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

“When we lose the right to be different, we lose the privilege to be free.” -Charles Evans Hughes (1862 - 1948): in an address at Faneuil Hall, Boston, Massachusetts, United States of America (17 June 1925)

“How glorious it is - and also how painful - to be an exception.” -Alfred de Musset (1810 - 1857): “Histoire d’un merle blanc” (“Story of the White Blackbird”) (1842)

“Don’t be like the rest of them, darling.” -Author Unknown

“There are two types of people - those who come into a room and say, ‘Well, here I am!’ and those who come in and say, ‘Ah, there you are.’” -Frederick L. Collins

“Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated, thus, everyone’s task is unique as his specific opportunity to implement it.” -Viktor E. Frankl (1905 - 1997)

“It takes all kinds of people to make a world.” -Author Unknown

“Know that although in the eternal scheme of things you are small, you are also unique and irreplaceable, as are all your fellow humans everywhere in the world.” -Margaret Laurence

“Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.” -Tallulah Bankhead (1903 - 1968)

“Allow the world to live as it chooses, and allow yourself to live as you choose.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“When you’re different, sometimes you don’t see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn’t.” -Jodi Picoult (Jodi Lynn Picoult (born 1966))

“Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself to others. It is because we are different that each of us is special. Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important, only know what is best for you.” -Ken Lewis

“People have one thing in common: They are all different.” -Robert Zend (1929 - 1985)

“All of us are stars and deserve the right to twinkle.” -Marilyn Monroe (Norma Jean Mortenson (1926 - 1962))

‘Make Fun Of Life!’ . . . because we are all a little bit funny . . .

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Rhyming Riddles

8/2/2018

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Riddle:
Sometimes curly,
Sometimes flat,
I’m over your head
And under your hat -
What am I?
Answer:
I am your hair.

Said the Little Dog to the Tree

“Now, why,” remarked the little dog,
   in speaking to the tree,
“Could one say that the heart of you
   is like the tail of me?”

The tree gave the conundrum up.
   The pup, with wisdom stark,
Explained the matter, saying,
   “It is farthest from the bark.”

by Author Unknown

Riddle:
Each morning I appear,
To lie at your feet,
All day I follow,
No matter how fast you run,
Yet I nearly perish
In the midday sun.
What am I?
Answer:
I am your shadow.

Riddle: What is a plaything for a girl or a boy?
Answer: A toy.

Riddle:
Never resting, never still.
Moving silently from hill to hill.
I do not walk, run, or trot.
All is cool where I am not.
What am I?
Answer:
I am sunlight.

Riddle:
Can you decipher the following?
Yy u r, yy u b
I c u r yy 4 me!
Answer:
Too wise you are, too wise you be,
I see you are too wise for me!

Riddle: What is sweet to eat and rhymes with dandy?
Answer: Candy.

Riddle:
What doth man love more than life,
Hate more than death or mortal strife,
’Tis that which contented men desire,
The poor possess and the rich require,
The miser spends, the spendthrift saves,
And all men carry to their graves?
Answer:
Nothing.

Riddle:
There’s not a kingdom on the Earth,
But I have traveled over and over,
And though I know not whence my birth,
Yet when I come, you know my roar.
I through the town do take my flight,
And through the fields and meadows green,
And whether it be day or night,
I neither am nor can be seen.
Who am I?
I am the wind.

Riddle: What goes in an envelope and rhymes with better?
Answer: A letter.

Riddle:
Until I am measured
I am not known,
Yet how you miss me
When I have flown.
What am I?
Answer:
I am time.

Riddle:
I am seen in the water
If seen in the sky,
I am in the rainbow,
A jay’s feather,
And lapis lazuli.
What am I?
Answer:
I am the color blue.

Riddle: What did your grandfather use to buy a gumball when he was a boy that rhymes with Jenny?
Answer: A penny.

Riddle:
Lovely and round
I shine with pale light,
Grown in the darkness,
A lady’s delight.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a pearl.

Riddle:
I am only useful
When I am full.
Yet, I am always
Full of holes.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a sieve.

Riddle: What helps us count and rhymes with seven?
Answer: The number eleven.

Riddle:
Glittering points
That downward thrust,
Sparking spears
That never rust.
What am I?
Answer:
I am an icicle.

Riddle:
Great deeds with little strength I do,
I close the open, open the closed, for you.
I keep the master’s house, the master keeps me, too.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a key.

Riddle: What is something you dig where the sea meets the land?
Answer: Sand.

Riddle:
I live in the oceans, the rivers, and seas;
When I’m cold I float -
When I’m hot, I’m free.
What am I?
Answer:
I am water.

Riddle:
I hear a lot
And I say a lot
Few ever look for me
And even fewer ever hear me
I hide in plain sight
Whether it's day or night
To help is all I want
But most like to bend me
And as if they had a wand
Never again shall anyone find me
They do this to control
Without realizing the high price of a soul
But when I’m least expected
They’d rather be protected
For there shall be no place to hide
What am I?
Answer:
I am the truth.

Riddle: What helps us breath and rhymes with rose?
Answer: Nose.

Riddle:
There was a girl in our town,
Silk an’ satin was her gown,
Silk an’ satin, gold an’ velvet,
Guess her name, three times I’ve telled it.
What is it?
Answer:
Ann is her name.

Riddle:
I sing when I’m struck
Or whenever they shake me.
By mold and cast,
The craftsmen make me.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a bell.

Riddle: What is hot and yellow, and rhymes with fun?
Answer: The Sun.

Riddle:
Little Nanny Etticoat,
In a white petticoat,
And a red nose;
The longer she stands,
The shorter she grows.
What is she?
Answer:
She is a candle.

Riddle:
You’ll see me when the Sun is high and also late at night,
I’m in the songs of holidays, when the snow is white,
Kings and Queens and royalty, are all found in me,
I’m the largest of them all, with just one you see,
Step by step with pounding feet, I’m tribes of angry men,
I’m above your hands right now, for help or to go again,
You’ll use me in the kitchen, or add a little more,
I’ll be in the years to come, and the days of yore.
What am I?
Answer:
I am the number twelve.

Riddle:
Old Mother Twitchett had but one eye,
And a long tail which she let fly;
And every time she went over a gap,
She left a bit of her tail in a trap.
What is she?
Answer:
She is a needle and thread.

Riddle:
A word I know
That six letters contains,
Subtract the last
And only twelve remains.
What is it?
Answer:
The word is dozens.

Riddle:
I like trees,
But I hate bees.
I sleep all day,
And I’m misty and gray.
I have mossy hair,
but I can still be a scare -
What am I?
Answer:
I am a bat.

Riddle:
As I was going to Saint Ives,
I met a man with seven wives,
Every wife had seven sacks,
Every sack had seven cats,
Every cat had seven kittens -
Kittens, cats, sacks, and wives,
How many were going to Saint Ives?
Answer:
Only I was going to Saint Ives.

Riddle:
In Spring I look quite gay,
Decked in comely green array,
In Summer yet more clothing do I wear;
When Autumn arrives here,
And the weather colder grows,
I fling off all my clothes,
Winter comes, and thinner and barer I show.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a tree.

Riddle:
I am a word of letters three;
Add two,
And even fewer there will be.
Who am I?
Answer:
I am the word few, becoming ‘fewer’ with two letters added.

Riddle:
In marble walls as white as milk,
Lined with a skin as soft as silk,
Within a fountain crystal clear,
A golden apple doth appear,
No doors there are to this stronghold,
Yet thieves break in and steal the gold.
What am I?
Answer:
I am an egg

Riddle:
I am in the church,
But not in the steeple.
I am in the parson,
But not in the people.
What am I?
Answer:
I am the letter ‘r.’

Riddle:
I run all day and I never walk,
I have a big mouth, but never talk.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a river.

Riddle:
I come in different styles,
I can walk with you for miles,
I come in a pair,
I’m something that you wear,
With heels I am glam -
Can you guess what I am?
Answer:
I am shoes.

Riddle:
In the warm months I wear green,
Both in the day and at night;
As it cools I shed yellow,
But during winter I wear white.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a tree.

Riddle:
You heard me before,
Yet you hear me again,
Then I fade,
’Til you call me again
What am I?
Answer:
I am an echo.

Riddle:
A brightly colored winged-thing,
I flit and flutter all about;
Two antennae, two eyes,
And six little legs have I.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a butterfly.

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . made with ingredients such as rhyming words, vibrant colors, silly shapes, numbers large and small, letters, animal sounds . . . and lots of other fun stuff . . .

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Minds and Thinking

7/29/2018

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“The Thinker” (French: “Le Penseur”) (1902) is a statue by Auguste Rodin (François Auguste-René Rodin (1840 - 1917)). The statue is an image of the Italian poet Durante degli Alighieri (also known as Dante Alighieri or simply Dante (1265 - 1321)).

A Beautiful Thought

It just can’t be given or bought
And must be most tenderly sought.
With a velvety pelt,
So soft it may melt -
It’s known as a beautiful thought.

by Author Unknown

“Throughout all history, the great wise men and teachers, philosophers, and prophets have disagreed with one another on many different things. It is only on this one point that they are in complete and unanimous agreement. We become what we think about.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“It is your ability to think that is your chief source of value; in fact, you are a mind with a body to carry it around in.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Guard your thoughts carefully. The quality of your thinking determines the quality of your life.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.” - René Descartes (1596 - 1650)

“Don’t try to think too many thoughts all at once. Even the smartest among us can only think one or two things at a time.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor

“Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bear bad fruit.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Thought is action in rehearsal.” -Author Unknown

“No mind is much employed on the present. Recollection and anticipation fill up almost all our moments.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“We are creatures of our thinking. We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“The finest thought runs the risk of being irrevocably forgotten if we do not write it down.” -Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860): “Essays of Arthur Schopenhauer” (as translated by T. Bailey Saunders (1851)), ‘The Art of Literature: On Thinking for One’s Self’

“When all men think alike, no one thinks very much.” -Walter Lippmann (1889 - 1974): as quoted in “Speakers Encyclopedia” (1955)

“Good impulses are naught, unless they become good actions.” -Joseph Joubert (1754 - 1824), as quoted in Paul Auster, translator: “The Notebooks of Joseph Joubert” (1883)

“We seem to do most of our thinking in our minds.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Nurture your mind with great thoughts; to believe in the heroic makes heroes.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881): “Coningsby” (1844), book 3, chapter I

“What’s going on in the inside shows on the outside.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“The mind attracts the thing it dwells upon.” -Napoleon Hill (born Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Our best friends and our worst enemies are our thoughts.” -Frank Crane (1861 - 1928)

“We can do only what we think we can do. We can be only what we think we can be. We can have only what we think we can have. What we do, what we are, what we have, all depend on what we think.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“We become what we think about.” -Napoleon Hill (born Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“My thinking is first and last and always for the sake of my doing.” -William James (1842 - 1910): “The Principles of Psychology” (1890), Chapter 22

“We become what we think about most of the time, and that’s the strangest secret.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“The biggest lesson I have ever learned is the stupendous importance of what we think. If I knew what you think, I would know what you are, for your thoughts make you what you are; by changing our thoughts, we can change our lives.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“If you change your way of thinking, you change your life.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” -Author Unknown

“How can I tell what I think till I see what I say?” -E. M. Forster (Edward Morgan Forster (1879 - 1970)): “Aspects of the Novel” (1927)

“A thought is a substance, producing the thing that is imagined by the thought.” -Wallace D. Wattles

“Change your thoughts, change your life.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

The mind is its own place, and in it self
Can make a Heave’n of Hell, a Hell of Heav’n.
by John Milton (1608 - 1674): “Paradise Lost” (1667), Book 1, Number 3, lines 254 through 255

“Such as are your habitual thoughts, such also will be the character of your mind.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus (C.E. 26 April 121 - C.E. 180))

“Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don’t count on harvesting Golden Delicious.” -Bill Meyer

“Clear thinking requires courage rather than intelligence.” -Thomas Szasz (Thomas S. Szasz (1920 - 2012))

“Our life is what our thoughts make it.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180)): “The Meditations” (C.E. 167), Book 4, meditation 3

“Let one therefore keep the mind pure, for what a man thinks, that he becomes.” -Author Unknown: “The Upanishads”

“Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life.” -Anthony Robbins

“When people will not weed their own minds, they are apt to be overrun with nettles.” -Horace Walpole (1717 - 1797): in a letter (10 July 1779) to Caroline, Countess of Ailesbury

“Whatever you think about grows in your life.” -Author Unknown

“Few minds wear out; more rust out.” -Christian Nestell Bovee (1820 - 1904): “Intuitions and Summaries of Thought” (1862), volume 1

“Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.” -Author Unknown

“You live with your thoughts - so be careful what they are.” -Eva Arrington

“The man who acquires the ability to take full possession of his own mind may take possession of anything else to which he is justly entitled.” -Andrew Carnegie

“I realize that I will be, when my life’s labor is complete, the product of my thoughts.” -George Albert Smith

“I would suggest that today, we know about as much concerning the human mind as we knew about the galaxy in 1300.” -Alan Watts (Alan Wilson Watts)

“A man is literally what he thinks.” -James Lane Allen (1849 - 1925)

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day.” -Elizabeth Gilbert

“Don’t feed your mind with negative thoughts. If you do, you will come to believe them.” -Catherine Pulsifer

“Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?” -Author Unknown

“Do not worry at all about negative thoughts, and do not try to control them. All you have to do is begin to think good thoughts each day. Plant as many good thoughts as you can in each day. As you begin to think good thoughts you will attract more and more good thoughts, and eventually the good thoughts will wipe out the negative thoughts altogether.” -Rhonda Byrne

“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.” -Author Unknown

“A purely mental life may be destructive if it leads us to substitute thought for life and ideas for actions. The activity proper to man is not purely mental because man is not just a disembodied mind. Our destiny is to live out what we think, because unless we live what we know, we do not even know it. It is only by making our knowledge part of ourselves, through action, that we enter into the reality that is signified by our concepts.” -Thomas Merton (1915 - 1968)

“Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

Are you thinking what we’re thinking?

“If we examine our thoughts, we shall find them always occupied with the past and the future.” -Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

“Life is but thought.” -Sara Teasdale (Sara Teasdale Filsinger (1884 - 1933))

“Think only about what you want . . . never dwell on what you don’t want.” -Shane K. Hughes

“Where does a thought go when it’s forgotten?” -Sigmund Freud (1856 - 1939)

“Everything’s in the mind. That’s where it starts. Knowing what you want is the first step toward getting it.” -Mae West (1893 - 1980)

“Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment.” -Ira Gassen

“Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change.” -Author Unknown

“If we keep an open mind, too much is likely to fall into it.” -Natalie Clifford Barney (1876 - 1972)

“What you think about you bring about.” -Author Unknown

“Training and managing your own mind is the most important skill you could ever own, in terms of both happiness and success.” -T. Harv Eker

“Happy thoughts are half of your health.” -Author Unknown

“You are free to think thoughts of worry or joy, and whatever you choose will attract the same kind back to you. Worry attracts worry. Joy attracts joy.” -Rhonda Byrne

It is the mind that maketh good or ill,
That maketh wretch or happy, rich or poor.
by Edmund Spenser (1552 - 1599)

“Thoughts have power. Thoughts are energy. You can make your world or break it by your thinking.” -Susan Taylor

“What you think about comes about.” -Author Unknown

“Ultimate human power is not in our possessions, but in our minds.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: Sometimes you have to think outside your mind . . .

“You become what you think about all day long.” -Author Unknown

“Thought creates character.” -Annie Bessant (1847 - 1933)

“Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life. If you continue to believe as you have always believed, you will continue to act as you have always acted. If you continue to act as you have always acted, you will continue to get what you have always gotten. If you want different results in your life or your work, all you have to do is change your mind.” -Author Unknown

“The thoughts we choose to think are the tools we use to paint the canvas of our lives.” -Louise Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017))

“What you think means more than anything else in your life. More than you earn, more than where you live, more than you social position, and more than what anyone else may think about you.” -George M. Adams (George Matthew Adams (1878 - 1962))

“A thought is a thing as real as a cannonball.” -Joseph Joubert (1754 - 1824), as quoted in Paul Auster, translator: “The Notebooks of Joseph Joubert” (1883)

“Our life is what our thoughts make it. A man will find that as he alters his thoughts toward things and other people, things and other people will alter towards him.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Our lives would run a lot more smoothly if second thoughts came first.” -Author Unknown

“If you can think it, you can do it.” -Author Unknown

“Thoughts, like fleas, jump from man to man. But they don’t bite everybody.” -Stanislaw Jerzy Lec (1909 - 1966): “Unkempt Thoughts” (1962)

“You are what you think.” -Author Unknown

“Your life is a reflection of your thoughts. Think well.” -Danielle Pierre

“The secret of living a life of excellence is merely a matter of thinking thoughts of excellence. Really, it’s a matter of programming our minds with the kind of information that will set us free.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“You are today where your thoughts have brought you. You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . that is pretty much all of our thoughts on thinking . . .

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Past-Dwelling and Past-Dwellers

7/26/2018

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“Only look back to see how far you’ve come.” -Author Unknown

“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest, that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.” -Jan Glidewell (James Janis ‘Jan’ Glidewell (1944 - 2013))

“If you’re yearning for the good old days, just turn off the air conditioning.” -Griff Niblack

“If you let go of the past, it no longer has a hold on you.” -Author Unknown

“Do not look back; if Cinderella had gone back to pick up her shoe, she would never have become a princess.” -Author Unknown

“You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“I live in the past because it’s cheaper there.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t look back - that’s not where the future is.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Living in the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back strains the neck muscles, causes you to bump into people not going your way.” -Edna Ferber (1887 - 1968)

“The Ogle Fish swims everywhere backwards, because it is only interested in seeing where it has already been.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Remember, you can’t reach for what’s in front of you, until you let go of what’s behind you.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t look back. You’re not going that way.” -Author Unknown

“We can draw lessons from the past, but we cannot live in it.” -Lyndon B. Johnson (Lyndon Baines Johnson (1908 - 1973))

“The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post.” -L. Thomas Holdcroft

“Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

The Good Old Days

“In my day, we couldn’t afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In the Winter we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.” -Bill Flavin

“In my day, we didn’t have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.” -Sarah M. Wolford

“In my day, we didn’t have days. There was only ‘time for work,’ ‘time for prayer,’ and ‘time for sleep.’ The sheriff would go around and tell everyone when to change.” -Elden Carnahan

“In my day, we didn’t have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.” -Diana Hugue

by Author Unknown: “Washington Post” (about 1997), contest on the subject of the difficulty of the good old days

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“For those who live in the past, there is no future.” -Author Unknown

“When setting priorities, going forward is likely to be found to be more important than looking back.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“That which is past is gone and irrevocable, and wise men have enough to do with things present and to come.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): “Essays” (1597)

Aaron: How many past-dwellers does it take to change a light bulb?
Erin: Four. One to change the bulb and three to reminisce about how good the old burned-out, broken bulb was.

“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Alice in Wonderland” (1865)

“The water that is past cannot make the mill go.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.” -Will Rogers (William Penn Adair ‘Will’ Rogers (1879 - 1935)) (similar quotation attributed to Richard H. Nelson)

“If you are still talking about what you did yesterday, you haven’t done much today.” -Author Unknown

“Move forward, don’t look back, just forget the past.” -Author Unknown

Retrosaurus: A backward-looking dinosaur. Usage example: Past-dwellers can be crusty old retrosauruses at times.

“When we cling to the past, we become unavailable in the present.” -Author Unknown

“Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.” -Byrd Baggett

“The more we look backwards, the less we will be able to see forward.” -Author Unknown

Past-Dwelling and Past-Dwellers Quiz
- What does it mean when a person is said to be dwelling in the past?
- What is the difference between dwelling in the past and reminiscing?
- What harm can it do to dwell in the past?
- How can a person stop dwelling in the past, start living in the present, and start working and planning for the future?

“It’s okay to look back at the past. Just don’t stare.” -Benjamin Dover

“We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays.” -Persius (Aulus Persius Flaccus (C.E. 34 - C.E. 62))

“It is not possible to go forward while looking back.” -Ludwig Mies van der Rohe (1886 - 1969)

“When you focus on what might have been, it gets in the way of what can be.” -Patricia Fripp

“Looking back gives you regrets. Looking ahead gives you opportunities.” -Author Unknown

“Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . perhaps someday, we will look back on all of this, laugh nervously, and change the subject . . . until then, we will just keep going forward . . . and hope we are headed in the right direction . . .

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Cheapskates and Misers

7/25/2018

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Matthew: How was copper wire invented?
Matilda: Two cheapskates were fighting over a penny.

A boy asked his father for twenty dollars. His father replied, “Ten dollars, what in the world do you need five dollars for, I’d be happy to give you a dollar, here’s a quarter.”

Miserly tip: Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don’t know.

“If you really want your friends to remember you, give them something cheap.” -Author Unknown

First man: Why do you always remove the batteries from the clock and keep them outside?
Second man: I want to extend the battery life, and so I put them in the clock only when I want to see the time.

After being away on a business trip, Tim thought it would be nice to get his wife a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $85. “That’s a bit much,” said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $49. “That’s still quite a bit,” Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $17 bottle. “What I mean is,” said Tim, “I’d like to see something really cheap.” So the clerk handed him a mirror.

A man walked into a coffee shop and asked the waitress, “How much is the coffee?” “Coffee is three dollars,” the waitress said. “How much is a refill?” the man asked. “Free,” said the waitress. “Great, then I’ll take a refill!” said the man.

“I do not prize the word cheap. It is not a badge of honor . . . it is a symbol of despair. Cheap prices make for cheap goods; cheap goods make for cheap men; and cheap men make for a cheap country!” -William McKinley

Free speech: Using someone else’s telephone.

A Young Fellow Named B. B.

A certain young fellow named B. B.
Wished to marry a lady named Phoebe
“But,” he said. “I must see
What the minister’s fee be
Before Phoebe be Phoebe B. B.”

by Author Unknown

If you want to find cheap EBay auctions, go to www.FatFingers.com and type in what you are looking for. It will search all listings with incorrect spellings - which means very few people can find them - which means c-h-e-a-p!

Ellie: Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?
Angela: Because every buck is dear to him!

The following anecdote is about the Austrian poet Peter Altenberg. “Though in fact he maintained a very solid bank balance, Mr. Altenberg had a mania for begging. The poet and critic Karl Kraus tells how Altenberg besought him again and again to give him a hundred kronen, and on every occasion Mr. Kraus refused him. Finally, his patience at an end, Kraus burst out, “Look Peter, I’d gladly give it to you, but I really, really don’t have the money.” “Very well, I’ll lend it to you,” said Altenberg.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard (editors): “Bartlett’s Book of Anecdotes” (2000)

“There is always a little more toothpaste in the tube. Think about it.” -Bill Bryson (born 1951): “Notes from a Big Country” (1999)

There are money-saving devices, as for example, attachments that fit over tubes of toothpaste to allow every bit of toothpaste to be squeezed out; however, the problem with such devices is that you have to part with some money to have them.

Good Places to Look for ‘Pennies from Heaven’
- Around parking meters.
- Under coin-operated vending machines.
- On the sidewalks when you go for long walks.
- In outdoor water fountains.
- Under the bleachers at sports events.
- In laundromats.
- In parking lots.
- Under amusement park rides.

Penelope: Why do misers like paper money more than coins?
Penny: When they put it in their pockets they double it, when they take it out, it’s ‘in creases.’

“He who is frugal is the richest of men, and the miser is the poorest.” -Nicolas Chamfort (1741 - 1794): “Maxims and Thoughts” (1796), as translated by W. S. Merwin (1984)

Repeat after us: Cheap is good, cheap is good, cheap is good . . .

In 1955, the richest woman in the world was Mrs. Hetty Green Wilks, who left an estate of $95 million in a will that was found in a tin box with four pieces of carefully saved soap.

Overheard: I am such a cheapskate that I do not even have skates!

“Cheap is seldom good, and good is seldom cheap.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, ‘It’s free with purchase.’ I asked her if anyone bought anything today.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“Misers are no fun to live with but they make great ancestors.” -Tom Snyder (born 1936)

“A miser grows rich by seeming poor; an extravagant man grows poor by seeming rich.” -William Shenstone (1714 - 1763)

A miser was at the top of a ladder when a coin fell from his pocket. He was hit on the head by the coin as it reached the ground.

“I pity that man who wants a coat so cheap that the man or woman who produces the cloth shall starve in the process.” -Benjamin Harrison (1833 - 1901)

Have you heard about the cheapskate who was pleased with himself because he had married a woman who was born on 29 February? He would only have to buy her a birthday present once every four years!

“Two cats can live as cheaply as one, and their owner has twice as much fun.” -Lloyd Alexander

And then there was the miser who took his date to the beach and told her ‘shady’ stories so that he would not have to rent an umbrella . . .

Keepsakes of a Cheapskate

Empty cardboard boxes,
     Meters of old string,
I am a cheapskate, and
     I will save any old thing.

My bed is a rubber dingy
     That washed up on the shore
I am miserly and stingy -
     But I won’t sleep on the floor.

by Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Melba: What do misers do when it is cold?
Blaine: They sit around a candle.

Brenda: What do misers do when it is really, really cold?
Belinda: They light the candle!

Miser: A rich pauper.

Miserly tip: Do not waste money on expensive music playing gadgets. Instead, just think of your favorite tune and hum it. If you want to ‘switch tracks,’ simply think of another song you like and hum that one.

An Old Man of El Hums

There was an old man of El Hums,
Who lived upon nothing but crumbs,
Which he picked off the ground,
With the other birds round,
In the roads and the lanes of El Hums.

by Author Unknown

Overheard: I hate to always eat and run, but with the way I tip, it’s the only safe procedure!

Now you, too, can join us by standing up and proudly proclaiming, “I am a cheapskate!”

Bertie: What is the difference between a miser and a canary?
Bernard: One is a little cheap and the other is a little cheeper.

Miserly tip: Before throwing away old shoes, remove the shoestrings, which can be used to make clotheslines, dog leashes, a giant ball of string, and many other things.

One old geezer was so miserly that he kept a brown paper bag in the attic of his house, labeled ‘Pieces of String Too Short to Use.’

Why be miserly with humor and inspiration - when you can share what you find here with other people - and never have to pay for it?!

Gerard: How many misers does it take to change a light bulb?
Jeremy: None - misers are so cheap that they would rather sit in the dark than buy a new bulb!

Be sure to tell all of your cheap friends about us . . . and whether you are miserly or not yourself, do not forget to ‘MFOL!’ (‘Make Fun Of Life!’)

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Mornings and Dawns

7/21/2018

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This is the tower . . . you are cleared for takeoff . . .

“If you get up in the morning, you’re a morning person.” -Author Unknown

“There is a close connection between getting up in the world and getting up in the morning.” -Author Unknown

Getting Up

When I get up in the morning
     I’ll tell you what I do
I wash my hands and wash my face
     Splishety-splash, splishety-splash
I clean my teeth till they’re shining white
     Scrubbity-scrub, scrubbity-scrub
Then I put on my clothes and brush my hair
     And runnity-run, I run downstairs.

by Author Unknown

“I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” -E. B. White (Elwyn Brooks White (1899 - 1985))

Al: Good morning.
Fred: And a great morning to you!

“One small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.” -Author Unknown

Good Morning Mr. Sun

Good morning Mr. Sun
     Our day has just begun
We love to see your shining face
     Good morning Mr. Sun

by Author Unknown

“The morning is the rudder of the day.” -Author Unknown

Do you have trouble getting out of bed in the morning? A High Voltage Ejector Bed (HVEB) can help you get up and be on your way. Each bed comes fully equipped with dual pneumatic pistons, electric shockers, alarm bell, and flashing light.

“Lose an hour in the morning, and you will spend all day looking for it.” -Richard Whately (1787 - 1863)

“He who every morning plans the transactions of the day and follows out that plan carries a thread that will guide him through the labyrinth of the most busy life. The orderly arrangement of his time is a like a ray of life which darts itself through all his occupations. But where no plan is laid, where the disposal of time is surrendered merely to the chance of incident, chaos will soon reign.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“Dawn begins at midnight.” -Author Unknown

Sunrise

A sunrise is
a lovely way
to begin a day.

by Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Each dawn is a new beginning.” -Author Unknown

Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin’

Oh, what a beautiful mornin’,
Oh, what a beautiful day,
I’ve got a wonderful feeling,
Everything’s going my way.
There’s a bright golden haze on the meadow,
There’s a bright golden haze on the meadow,
The corn is as high as an elephants’ eye,
And it looks like it’s climbing right up to the sky.
Oh, what a beautiful morning,
Oh, what a beautiful day,
I’ve got a wonderful feeling,
Ev’rything’s going my way.

by Oscar Hammerstein II (1895 - 1960): “Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin’” (1943) as presented in the musical “Oklahoma”

A crowing rooster tells all the barnyard, “It’s time to get up, you sleepyheads!”

“Be pleasant until ten o’clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

Mick: Top of the morning to you!
Mack: And the rest of the day to yourself!

“Do not shorten the morning by getting up late; look upon it as the quintessence of life, as to a certain extent sacred.” -Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860): “The Wisdom of Life and Counsels and Maxims” (originally published in 1851; as translated by T. Bailey Saunders (June 1890)), chapter 2

Sunrise

This
is the only gold
I’ll ever possess . . .

I treasure it,
counting its glory
each dawn.

by Pollyanna Sedziol (Pollyanna Rogers ‘Polly’ Sedziol (born 1935))

“I awaken in the morning with confidence, rejoicing in whatever work is given to me to do. Whatever that work is, I do it, not in order to earn a living or in a sense of performing an onerous duty; but, with joy and gladness, I let it unfold as the activity of God’s expression through me.” -Joel S. Goldsmith

“Those who do not get up in the mornings to work diligently at the business of life are fated to forever mourn over a lifetime of lost mornings.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t start your day with the broken pieces of yesterday. Every day is a fresh start. Each day is a new beginning. Every morning we wake up is the first day of our new life.” -Author Unknown

“We must take great care never to do anything before having said our morning prayers . . . The Devil once declared that if he could have the first moment of the day, he was sure of all the rest.” -John Vianney (Jean-Baptiste-Marie Vianney (1786 - 1859))

“Invest the first hour of the day, the ‘Golden Hour,’ in yourself.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction.” -John Graham: letter (10 April 189-) to his son Pierrepont, as quoted in George Lorimer (George Horace Lorimer (1867 - 1937)), editor: “Letters from a Self-Made Merchant to His Son” (1902)

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180))

Good Morning Song

Oh, the duck says, “Quack,”
and the cow says, “Moo,”
the old red rooster says,
“Cock-a-doodle-doo!”
The sheep says, “Baa,”
and the cat says, “Meow,”
but I say, “Good Morning!”
when I see you.

by Author Unknown

“If you once turn on your side after the hour at which you ought to rise, it is all over. Bolt up at once!” -Walter Scott (1771 - 1832): “Diary” (2 March 1826)

“Start the day with a joke . . . because there’s no better way!” -Author Unknown

It is the dawn of a new day at ‘MFOL!’ . . . wait, somebody has just said that we have to wait until morning to be able to say that . . .

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Marriage

7/17/2018

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Forever and Always

Once upon a time,
     I became yours
and you became mine.
     And we’ll stay together
through both the tears
     and the laughter.
Because that’s what they call
     happily ever after.

by Author Unknown

“That we arrived at fifty years together is due as much to luck as to love, and a talent for knowing, when we stumble, where to fall, and how to get up again.” -Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis: “Ossie and Ruby: In This Life Together” (1998)

“Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.” -Joseph Barth

“A man and a woman should choose each other for life. A long life is barely enough [time] for a man and woman to understand each other; and to understand is to love. The man who understands one woman is qualified to understand pretty well everything.” -J. B. Yeats (John Butler Yeats (1839 - 1922)), as quoted in Joseph Hone, editor: “Letters to His Son, W. B. Yeats, and Others (1944)

“Success in marriage depends not so much on finding the right person as it does on being the right person.” -Lowell L. Bennion (Lowell Lindsay Bennion (1908 - 1996))

Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be.
The last of life, for which the first was made.
by Robert Browning (1812 - 1889): “Rabbi Ben Ezra” (1864)

“I wear my wife’s eyeglasses because she wants me to see things her way.” -Jayson Feinburg

“Happiness and laughter - that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?” -Peggy Clark (19 November 2007), who was 84 years of age, having just married James Mason, who was 93 years of age, thereby making them Britain’s oldest newly-weds

“Take each other for better or worse, but not for granted.” -Arlene Dahl (Arlene Carol Dahl (born 1925))

“More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.” -Doug Larson (1902 - 1981)

“Marriage is an authentic weaving together of families, of two souls with their individual fates and destinies, of time and eternity - everyday life married to the timeless mysteries of the soul.” -Thomas Moore

“You should be slow to criticize your spouse’s judgment; after all, just look at who he or she married!” -Author Unknown

“Story writers say that love is concerned only with young people and the excitement and glamour of romance end at the altar. How blind they are. The best romance is inside marriage; the finest love stories come after the wedding, not before.” -Irving Stone (born Irving Tennenbaum (1903 - 1989))

“Romance is the icing, but love is the cake.” -Author Unknown

“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” -Dave Meure

“By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher.” -Socrates (470 B.C.E. - 399 B.C.E.)

“I should like to see any kind of a man, distinguishable from a gorilla, that some good and even pretty woman could not shape a husband out of.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Senior (1809 - 1894): “The Autocrat of the Breakfast-Table” (1858), page 98

“Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.” -Stephen Leacock (Stephen Butler Leacock (1869 - 1944))

“Marriage is a mistake every man should make.” -George Jessel (George Albert ‘Georgie’ Jessel (1898 - 1981))

A University of Oregon study has found that humor helps marriages last. John and D. J. Rawlings, who have been married for fifty-two years, interviewed seventy couples who had been married an average of nineteen years each. The couples used humor and laughter to avoid conflict and to reduce tensions.

“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” -Robert Quillen (Verni Robert Quillen (1887 - 1948))

On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy marriage. The husband said, “I have tried never to be selfish. After all, there is no ‘I’ in the word ‘marriage.’ The wife said, “For my part, I have never corrected my husband’s spelling.”

Overheard: Even married couples need to go on dates.

“Aravis also had many quarrels (and, I’m afraid, even fights) with Cor, but they always made it up again: so that years later, when they were grown up they were so used to quarrelling and making it up again that they got married so as to go on doing it more conveniently.” -C. S. Lewis (Clive Staples Lewis (1898 - 1963)): “The Horse and His Boy” (6 September 1954)

“Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do.” -Bettina Arndt (born 1949)

For Sale By Owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything.

Overheard: All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so that women can tell them apart.

“Every minute you spend angry with your partner is a waste of sixty seconds in which you could be enjoying your marriage.” -Author Unknown

Have you heard about the man who takes his wife with him everywhere he goes so that he never has to kiss her goodbye?

The only people who listen to both sides of an argument are the neighbors.

“Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it rings solid, don’t hesitate. All the unhappy marriages come from the husbands having brains. What good are brains to a man? They only unsettle him.” -P. G. Wodehouse (Pelham Grenville Wodehouse (1881 - 1955)): “The Adventures of Sally” (1920), chapter 10

While attending a seminar on marital communication, Tom and his wife Peg listened to the instructor state, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.” He addressed the men, “Can you describe your wife’s favorite flower?” Tom leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered, “Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn’t it?” The rest of the story is not pleasant, so we will stop right here.

Wife: Ward, wake up. There’s a mouse in the bedroom - I heard it squeak.
Husband: June, what do you want me to do, get up and oil it?

Hubby: How is a room full of married couples like an empty room?
Wifey: There is not a ‘single’ person in it.

“You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets.” -Nora Ephron

“Before marriage, a man ‘yearns’ for the woman he loves. After marriage, the ‘y’ becomes silent.” -Author Unknown

While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. The woman left her glasses on the table, but didn’t miss them until they were back on the highway. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around. The man fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant. When they finally arrived, as the woman got out of the car to retrieve her glasses, the old man said, “While you’re in there, you may as well get my hat, too.”

“Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays, and the other who never forgets.” -Ogden Nash (Frederick Ogden ‘Ogden’ Nash (1902 - 1971))

“Today is the fifth anniversary of my wife’s thirty-ninth birthday.” -Unidentified Man

Husband: Where did you get that new hat?
Wife: Don’t worry, dear. It didn’t cost a thing. It was marked down from $60 to $30, so I bought it with the $30 I saved.

“One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.” -Judith Viorst

Amy and Jamie are old friends. They had both been married to their husbands for a long time. Amy was upset because she thought her husband didn’t find her attractive anymore. “As I get older he doesn’t bother to look at me!” Amy cried. “I’m so sorry for you, as I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day,” replies Jamie. “Yes, but your husband’s an antique dealer!”

So live that when your husband or wife says he or she is married to you, he or she will be boasting.

Angela: That new couple next door seems to be very devoted. He kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?
Gerald: I don’t know her well enough.

“Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.” -Billy Sunday (William Ashley ‘Billy’ Sunday (1862 - 1935)): as quoted in “The Independent” (28 April 1917) newspaper

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“When asked to share the top reason for their marital success, the men and women said, ‘My spouse is my best friend.’ When the dust settles from a passionate courtship, what’s left - and what will keep that marriage growing and vital - is friendship.” -Jan Yager (born 1948)

“My wife only has two complaints: nothing to wear and not enough closet space.” -Author Unknown

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” -Mignon McLaughlin (1913 - 1983): quotation possibly found in the “Atlantic” (July 1965) magazine

“Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they’re on the same side.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Most people get married believing a myth that marriage is a beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for: companionship, intimacy, friendship, etc. The truth is that marriage at the start is an empty box. You must put something in before you can take anything out. There is no love in marriage. Love is in people. And people put love in marriage. There is no romance in marriage. You have to infuse it into your marriage. A couple must learn the art and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising, keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty.” -Author Unknown

“What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Mark,’ chapter 10, verse 9

For you wake one day,
Look around and say,
“Somebody wonderful
Married me!”
-Fred Ebb (1928 - 2004): “Cabaret” (1963), ‘Married’

“Formal courtesy between husband and wife is even more important than it is between strangers.” -Robert Heinlein (Robert Anson Heinlein (1907 - 1988)): “Time Enough for Love” (1973)

“Make a list of the traits of the type of spouse you would like to marry. Then make a list of the traits you would need to attract that type of person. Then throw away the first list and work on the second. Don’t just look for the right one - become the right one!” -Author Unknown

“All the wealth in the world cannot be compared with the happiness of living together happily united.” -Marie Marguerite of Youville (1701 - 1771)

“Don’t over-analyze your marriage. That’s like yanking up a fragile plant every twenty minutes to see how its roots are growing - you will kill it.” -Author Unknown

Brent Barlow posed a question to a group of priesthood brethren: “How many of you would like to receive a revelation?” Every hand went up. He then suggested that they all go home and ask their wives how they could be better husbands. He added, “I followed my own advice, and had a very informative discussion with [my wife] Susan for more than an hour that afternoon!” A conversation like that could be a revelation for any of us. -Author Unknown: as quoted in “Ensign” (September 1992), page 17

“What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.” -George Levinger (born 1927)

“I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.” -Sigmund Freud (1856 - 1939)

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.” -Jane Austen (1775 - 1817)

With all the world around us,
How glad I am that we found us.
by Author Unknown

“The good or ill hap of a good or ill life, is the good or ill choice of a good or ill wife.” -Author Unknown: Scottish proverb

“The difference between a good marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving three or four things a day unsaid.” -H. Miller

“It’s no mistake that maturity and matrimony come from the same word.” -Author Unknown

“The secret of a happy marriage is simple - just keep on being as polite to one another as you are to your friends.” -Robert Quillen (Verni Robert Quillen (1887 - 1948))

“To keep your marriage whole, rarely show your worst side to your better half.” -Author Unknown

“The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are ‘I apologize’ and ‘you are right.’” -Author Unknown

A marriage ceremony typically ends with a kiss because in ancient Rome, a kiss was a legal bond that sealed contracts, and marriage was seen as a contract.

“We have a strange and wonderful relationship. He’s strange, and I’m wonderful.” -Unidentified Woman

“We’re a fastidious couple; I’m fast, and she’s tedious.” -Unidentified Man

“The magic words for a great relationship are, “I love you just the way you are.” -Jonathan Lockwood Huie (born 1945)

In ancient Greece, Solon (638 B.C.E. - 538 B.C.E.) once contemplated making marriage compulsory, and in Athens under Pericles (495 B.C.E. - 429 B.C.E.), bachelors were excluded from certain public positions. In Sparta, single and childless men were treated with scorn. In ancient Rome, Augustus (63 B.C.E. - C.E. 14) passed drastic laws that compelled people to marry and penalized those who remained single.

“Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring, or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it.” -Helen Rowland (1875 - 1950)

Married people are twice as likely to go to church as unmarried people.

“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

“All men and women should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly: You know dear, you may be right.” -Author Unknown

“The goal of marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.” -Author Unknown

“Marriage is finding happiness . . . together.” -Author Unknown

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . where folks can always say, “Yes!” to happiness . . .

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Daffynitions and Definitions

7/13/2018

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This stuff is amazing . . .

Abundance: A party held in a bakery, at which buns dance; not to be confused with abarndance.

“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.” -Winston Churchill (Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill (1874 - 1965))

Aqualibrium (ak wa lib’ re um), noun. The point at which a stream of drinking fountain water is at the perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from having to suck the nozzle and from being squirted in the eye.

Atrophy: An award given to those who do not exercise.

Augmented reality: A step in the process of turning us all into cyborgs.

Beelzebug, noun. Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three o’clock in the morning and cannot be cast out.

“Bore: A person who talks when you want him to listen.” -Ambrose Bierce (Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (1842 - 1914))

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Brevity: Words that cover more ground than they occupy.

Brouhaha: A jolly tea party.

Buffet: A French word that means ‘get up and get it yourself.’

Buoyant: A young male ant.

“Buzzwords: How bees talk to each other.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Cackleberry: A hen’s egg.

“Cat: A pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.” -Oliver Herford (1863 - 1935)

Chaos: What happens when a dog person marries a cat person.

“Christmas is sleeping with one eye shut while the other eye watches for Santa Claus.” -Charles Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000))

Cobweb site: A website that has not been updated for a long time.

Compromise: An agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.

Computer chip: Any starchy foodstuff consumed in mass quantities while working at a computer.

Correctional facility: Rent-free public housing for law-breakers, who are thought to benefit from confinement in each other’s company.

Cosmetic makeup: War paint. (No doubt some folks will want to go to war over this definition.)

Courage: The art of being the only one who knows you are scared to death.

Definition: What you are now reading. Daffynition: A wacky definition.

Democracy: A system of government in which people take the law into their own hands.

Denial: A river in Egypt.

Dentist: 1. A collector of old magazines. 2. A filling station attendant.

Detail: What’s on the end of a dog.

“Diplomat: A man who remembers a woman’s birthday but not her age.” -Robert Frost (Robert Lee Frost (1874 - 1963))

Doctor: 1. A type of medical device used in making diagnoses. 2. Someone who practices medicine but charges as if he or she actually knew.

Doohicky: A doo-dad or a whatchyamacallit.

Dust: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Eclipse: What an English barber does for a living.

Efficiency expert: Someone who waits to make up a foursome before going through a revolving door.

Elephant: A useful animal with a vacuum cleaner on one end and a rug-beater at the other.

“Exchequer: A playing piece from a checkers game that has left to join the chess set.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Faith: The suspension of disbelief.

Farcical: A long bike race.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

Forthwith: adverb. Derived from ‘for Thwith,’ originally meaning to be completed in time for Thwith, an ancient Druidic feast of no fixed date. Now used to refer to any unspecified moment in the future and hence to completion of any task for which it would be unwise to provide a deadline.

Forum: Two-um plus two-um.

Fossil: An extinct animal; the older it is, the more extinct it is.

Fossil fuels: What dinosaurs used to run their cars.

Funology: The science of having fun.

Gardener: A plant manager.

Gazebo: A cross between a gazelle, a zebra, and a hippo.

Gihugeous: Really, really big.

Glitter: Fairy dust.

Grandparents: People who think your children are wonderful, but are sure you are not raising them right.

“Hammers: Manually-powered fastener-driving impact devices.” -Author Unknown: United States Pentagon

Happiness: What you can always find in the dictionary.

Hardware store: 1. Similar to a black hole in space if a husband goes in - he is not coming out anytime soon. 2. One of the rare shops in which women do not like to do shopping, and therefore, popular with men.

Harpist: A plucky musician

Hors d’oeuvres: A sandwich cut into twenty pieces.

Horsepower: Something that was much safer when only horses had it.

Hospital: A place where they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill.

Human: A useful domestic animal that is popular with cats, dogs, and fleas.

Humor: God’s gift to humankind to compensate for the law of gravity.

Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.

Impeccable: What every bird owner must be.

Intense: Where campers sleep.

Internet: The reason you are failing your classes.

“Junk is the stuff we throw away. Stuff is the junk we keep.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

Kindred: A fear that relatives are coming to stay.

Laughingstock: Cattle with a sense of humor.

Lollipops: Behavior modification reinforcers.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at statistics.

Magazine: A bunch of printed pages that tell you what is coming in the next issue.

Meterology: The study of parking meters.

Metronome: A city-dwelling dwarf.

Mirage: A place where a ghost keeps its car.

Mistakes: Proof that you are trying - so go ahead and keep making mistakes.

Mommy: The person who kisses the boo-boo after you scrape your knee.

Mouse Pad: Where Mickey and Minnie live.

Nitrate: Cheaper than day rate.

“Obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.” -Author Unknown

Ow: The first word spoken by a child with older siblings.

Peekaboo: Hide-and-Seek for ghosts.

Polarize: What penguins see with.

Predicament: When a woman does not want any more birthdays, but still wants the presents.

Prepone: To move forward in time; the opposite of postpone. Usage example: We are preponing tomorrow’s meeting by holding it today.

Propaganda: A gentlemanly goose or a proper gander; see also ‘impropaganda.’

Prophet: A person who foresees only ever doom and gloom; also known as a prophet of doom.

Public schools: A scheme for indoctrinating impressionable young minds with the ideology of political correctness, thereby creating the unthinking crazed zombie-like minions of Big Brother and his New World Order.

Quantum Physics: The dreams that stuff is made of.

Raisin: A worried grape.

Rectify: When you try to fix something, but end up wrecking it instead.

Relay: What chickens do when the farmer takes their eggs away.

Relief: What trees do in the Spring.

Sarcasm: Barbed ire.

Scandals: Footwear you should be ashamed of.

Seamstress: What occurs when 250 pounds of person are in a size 6 outfit.

Seven-course meal: Six cookies and a glass of milk.

Shingle: Sean Connery’s definition of a bachelor.

Slander: To lie or tell the truth about someone.

Slippers: Footwear made from bananas.

Snicker: A small laugh.

Stick: A boomerang that does not come back.

Stucco: What you get when you step on gummo.

Subdued: A guy who works on submarines.

Synergy: 1 + 1 = 3.

“Taxidermy: A skin condition caused by riding in taxicabs.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Television: An electrical device which, when broken, stimulates conversation.

Thirteen o’clock: Time to get your clock fixed.

Top bunk: A bed where you should never put a child who is wearing Superman pajamas.

Traffic light: An apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches.

Tulips: The standard number of lips assigned to a person.

UFP: Unidentified Frying Pan. Usage example: The police report shows the would-be burglar appears to have been struck in the noggin by a UFP.

Vegetarian: 1. A bad fisherman. 2. A bad hunter.

Wasted energy: Telling a hair-raising story to a bald-headed man.

Webmaster: A spider. Usage example: Watch out for that creepy-crawly webmaster!

Yours: Anything which, up to the present, others have not been able to get away from you.

Zenophobia: The irrational fear of convergent sequences.

You can create your own zany word meanings and perhaps redefine the world! We now return you to further lightness and enlightenment . . . on ‘MFOL!’

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Zucchinis

7/11/2018

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Why, we seem to have a regular zucchini zoo going on here . . .

Karen: What is zucchinis favorite game?
Daren: Squash!

The variety of zucchini commonly grown in home gardens and sold commercially and in retail stores was cultivated by Italians from squash originally found in colonial America. Zucchinis, like all squash, originated in the Americas, meaning North and South America.

“You’re becoming a real vegetable any more, do you know that?” Tim’s wife said to him one day, for no apparent reason. “Who, me?” Tim replied, trying to make light of the situation by saying it with a sort of zucchini accent.

Zucchini also goes by the names Italian squash, courgette, vegetable marrow, long marrow, and garden marrow.

The word ‘zucchini’ is derived from the Italian word ‘zucca’ meaning ‘squash.’ ‘Courgette’ is a diminutive of the French word ‘courge’ meaning ‘gourd’ or ‘marrow.’

Together with pumpkins and some other squashes, zucchinis are a member of the species ‘Cucurbita pepo.’ Zucchinis are a variety of cucurtbits, genus cucurbita, meaning that they are in the same family as cucumbers, squashes, and melons.

Nikita: What vegetable looks like a bunch of animals?
Anita: Zoo-chini!

Zucchini is commonly found in a green-and-speckled variety, though there is also a yellow variety of zucchini.

The Zucchini Brothers, a band from Saratoga Springs, New York, United States of America, plays songs for children. They also have a cranberry bread recipe on their website . . . but alas, no zucchini bread recipe. To listen to their music, visit www.ZucchiniBrothers.com.

Zucchinis are ready for harvest about 35 to 55 days after planting from seed.

The three-day Annual Zucchini Fest in Obetz, Ohio, United States of America, is ‘everything zucchini.’ The event runs from 27 to 30 August of each year, and includes a parade, queen’s pageant, contests, arts and crafts, games, and much more. Information about the gala can be found at www.ObetzZucchiniFest.com.

Zucchini is harvested as a summer squash. Summer squash are squashes that are harvested when immature, meaning while the rind (skin or peel) is still tender enough to be edible. Biggest is not best when it comes to zucchini; the most flavorful zucchinis are small to medium in size.

A Christian couple heard that their vegetarian son would be coming home from college to spend the Thanksgiving Holiday with them. Said the man, “Let us prepare the fatted zucchini, Martha! Our prodigal son is returning.”

The largest zucchini on record was 176.5 centimeters (69.5 inches) long, and weighed 29.5 kilograms (65 pounds). The humongous veggie was grown by Mr. Bernard Lavery of Plymouth, Devon, England.

In parts of America, if you park your car in a suburban neighborhood in August, be sure to lock the doors, because if you fail to do so, the neighbors might fill your car with zucchini!

Slice a zucchini in half lengthwise, and hollow out the halves with a spoon. Add the fillings of your choice, which can be as varied as chili and cheese, diced tomatoes and sliced Italian sausage and Provolone cheese, chopped vegetables and hollandaise sauce, or whatever your heart desires. Bake in an oven at about 180 degrees Celsius (350 degrees Fahrenheit) for about 45 minutes, or microwave on high, until done. Allow to cool and . . . presto! . . . voila! . . . you have created the stuffed zucchini.

Some would say zucchini is a wonder food because of its fast growth, easy preparation, and low calorie content.

A typical whole zucchini has about 25 calories; by comparison, a typical baked potato has about 130 calories.

Zucchinis have more potassium than bananas have.

Even though zucchini is served as a vegetable, it is technically a fruit because it comes from a flower. Grocery stores usually do not sell the blooms, but they can often be found at farmers’ markets. The bright yellows beauties aren’t just for looking at - they can be stir-fried and eaten.

Overheard: A zucchini is a vegetable that can be baked, boiled, fried, or steamed before children refuse to eat it.

Raw, uncooked zucchini can be sliced and put into salads, similar to the way cucumbers are sliced and put into salads.

So, you have lots of fresh zucchinis, and you cook and prepare them, and they look great, but they have a bitter or sour taste. The next time, use smaller zucchinis that have been picked off the vine well before they are fully-grown and mature. As zucchinis grow larger, and as they age on the shelf at the market or in your refrigerator, they begin to ripen. The best zucchinis are ones that have not yet ripened and have not developed any bitter or sour taste. Much like cucumbers, you will want to eat zucchinis while they are small and well before they are full grown and ripened, preferably within a day or two of their arrival in your kitchen.

Zucchini zoodles can be added to spaghetti recipes, and it can be used as a replacement for other types of pasta noodles as well. ‘Zoodles’ are easy to make with the aid of some kitchen gadgets. Using a mandolin or a spiral slicer, first secure the zucchini on prongs, and then push the vegetable toward the blades. A smaller and less expensive option is a julienne peeler, which has a serrated blade that can be used to create thin wide strips.

Zucchini Quiz
- Zucchini is ready for harvest in how many days after planting from seeds?
- Are zucchini blossoms, or flowers, edible?
- What are zoodles made of?

According to www.NationalDayCalendar.com, 8 August of each year is National Sneak Some Zucchini Into Your Neighbor’s Porch Day.

Zucchini Quiz Answers
- Zucchini is ready for harvest 35 to 55 days after planting from seeds.
- Zucchini blossoms, or flowers, are edible, though usually stir-fried.
- Zoodles are strips of zucchini that can be used in place of pasta.

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . where we plant smiles, grow fun, and harvest giggles . . . perhaps we should try that with zucchinis also . . .

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Eggs

7/8/2018

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Shelly: You’re a good egg!
Egbert: Eggcellent observation! Thank you!

Ross: What do you call an egg that goes on an adventure?
Rose: An eggsplorer!

Why are some chicken eggs brown? Many years ago, some people believed that brown bread, brown flour, brown rice, and brown sugar were more nutritious than their white counterparts, and these people also extrapolated that therefore, brown eggs must be healthier, too. In fact, the only difference between brown eggs and white eggs is that brown eggs are laid by rust-red chickens with red earlobes, such as the Rhode Island Red, while white eggs come from white chickens with white earlobes, most notably the White Leghorn, which makes up about ninety percent of the North American egg-laying chicken population. So, the color of an eggshell depends on the breed of hen that it came from. Chicken eggs come in white and off-white, brown, tan, pale blue, pale green, and other colors and shades, and there are even speckled eggs. Regardless of color, all chicken eggs of the same size have the same nutritional content, flavor, and cooking characteristics.

Eve: How do you make an egg laugh?
Adam: Tell it a yolk.

The color of egg yolks can range from light yellow to dark orange, and is determined by what the hen eats. If a hen gets plenty of the yellow-orange plant pigment xanthophyll in her food, it will be deposited into the yolk. Hens fed food containing yellow corn lay eggs with medium-yellow yolks. Hens eating wheat or barley lay lighter-color yolks. As with eggshell color, the color variations of egg yolks have no effect on the quality, flavor, or nutritional value of eggs.

Pearl: What do you call an egg from outer space?
Earl: An eggstraterrestrial.

The greenish coloration in some cooked eggs is due to the oxidation of the iron and sulfur compound that occurs naturally in eggs, and it typically forms when eggs are overcooked or not cooled quickly enough following the cooking process. It does not mean the eggs are bad. Although some people find it visually unappealing, it is harmless. The storybook character ‘Sam I Am,’ who initially refused to eat green eggs, eventually not only tried them, but also became an enthusiastic eater of them.

Glenard: How do monsters like their eggs?
Leonard: Terrifried!

Have your hard-boiled and raw eggs become comingled? To tell which is which, place an egg on a flat surface and give it a whirl. If the egg spins easily, it is hard-boiled. If the egg wobbles, it is raw.

Chelsea: Why was the father egg so strict?
Chester: He was hard-boiled.

Some people call eggs ‘nature’s multivitamin.’ Can you guess why?

Egbert: Did you hear the one about the egg?
Shelly: I heard it’s not all it’s cracked up to be!

Eggs are a highly nutritious food that can make an important contribution to a healthy diet. Egg protein has the exact ratios of all of the essential amino acids needed by humans to build cellular tissue, plus essential minerals and vitamins. They are a natural source of 13 vitamins and minerals, as well as high quality protein, omega-3 fats, and antioxidants. One vitamin not found in eggs is vitamin C, so when you have eggs, you might also want to eat fruits or vegetables containing vitamin C to help you meet your nutritional needs. A fresh tomato or slice of melon or other seasonal farm produce should fill the need.

Charles: How many eggs does it take to change a light bulb?
Chuck: None, eggs do not have hands.

Egg yolks are one of the few foods that naturally contain vitamin D, the ‘sunshine vitamin.’ If you do not spend enough time outdoors under the Sun to allow your body to produce its own vitamin D naturally, you could very well be vitamin-D-deficient, and eating eggs could help you to fill that deficiency. Your doctor, nutritionist, or other qualified health care professional can help you in determining this.

Meredith: Why wouldn’t the eggs go out on a hot Summer day?
Merry: They were afraid they might fry.

The egg yolk contains all of the fat in the egg, half of the proteins, and most of the vitamins and minerals. Yes, it is true that the yolk also contains most of the cholesterol as well. However, if you only eat the egg white in an attempt to avoid fat and cholesterol, you are missing out on much of the nutritional value of the egg. A large whole egg (egg yolk and egg white together) contains only 75 calories and only 5 grams of fat. You may have been informed by some well-meaning persons that you need to cut fat out of your diet, but you actually do need some fat in your diet for good health. It might be wise to consider seeking a second medical opinion about your diet to find out if whole eggs really are a concern, or if you can go ahead and enjoy them as part of a balanced diet.

Mae: Why was the egg on the internet?
Belle: Because it had its own eggsite.

The egg has been much maligned by some experts as being high in cholesterol and therefore supposedly bad for us, but is this really true? A single egg yolk does contain 214 milligrams, or two-thirds, of recommended daily cholesterol consumption. However, it turns out this isn’t as awful as it might seem. Studies show that eating eggs regularly does not increase the risk of heart disease, partly because the body does not absorb all of the cholesterol in the eggs eaten at any one time. In fact, studies show that eggs can actually improve the body’s cholesterol profile by raising HDL (the so-called ‘good cholesterol’) and increasing the size of LDL particles, which can lower the risk of heart disease. The lesson in this is that the people who try to pass themselves off as infallible experts and who want to tell you how to live your life can sometimes be completely wrong. Go ahead and enjoy your eggs. Some experts recommend eating up to six eggs a week as part of a healthy, balanced diet.

Burt: How did the egg get up the mountain?
Bernice: It scrambled up!

“A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.” -Samuel Butler: “Life and Habit” (1877), chapter 8

Choline is an essential nutrient for a healthy human brain, but by some estimates, about ninety percent of people are not getting enough of it. Egg yolks are an excellent source of choline.

Arnold: What part did the egg play in the movies?
Harold: He was an eggstra.

Eggs are very high in the antioxidants Lutein and Zeaxanthin, which can greatly reduce the risk of macular degeneration and cataracts.

“The incredible edible egg!” -American Egg Board, advertising slogan (1977)

Curtis: Why did the egg go to school?
Kirk: To be eggucated.

Eggs are a good food to include in weight loss diets, because they contain only miniscule amounts of carbohydrates and very little fat, but plenty of essential protein.

George: How do eggs stay healthy?
Martha: They eggcercize a lot.

Raw (uncooked) eggs can be consumed alone or in combination with other ingredients to make an easily digested protein drink, and athletes have been drinking raw eggs and concoctions containing them for countless generations. However, doing so is not without risk. Statistically, about one in 10,000 raw eggs contains salmonella, which can make people sick. Properly cooking eggs will destroy the salmonella and reduce the possibility of harm. If you are still thinking about consuming raw eggs, please consider this information.

Old Man of Madrid

There was an old man of Madrid
Who ate 65 eggs - yes, he did!
     When they asked, “Are you faint?”
     He replied, “No, I ain’t -
But I don’t feel as well as I did!”

by Author Unknown

The shortest -ology is oology, which is the scientific study of eggs.

Mac: What do you get if you cross an egg with a vacuum cleaner?
Beth: I have no idea, but I bet it’s messy!

Joseph Coyle, a newspaper editor in British Columbia (a province of Canada bordering the Pacific Ocean), invented egg cartons in 1911 to solve a dispute between two locals over a matter of broken eggs.

Rick: Why did the egg roll across the road?
Cedric: Because it wasn’t a chicken yet!

If an egg floats in water, does that mean it is bad and should not be eaten? As soon as eggs are laid, air begins to enter through the pores in the shell. A floating egg means that enough air has entered the shell to make the egg float. However, according to the United States Department of Agriculture, that does not necessarily mean the egg is bad, just older. The USDA recommends cracking the egg into a bowl and inspecting it. If the egg smells bad, it is spoiled and should be discarded.

Peggy: What did one egg say to another egg?
Megan: Let’s get cracking!

Two eggs were in a frying pan. The first egg said, “Well, hello, there!” The second egg screamed, “It’s a talking egg - help, somebody get me out of here!”

Melvin: How did the egg get across the road?
Calvin: It scrambled across.

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How to Make Scrambled Eggs

1. Beat eggs, milk, salt, and pepper together in a bowl.
2. Melt butter in frying pan.
3. Pour in the egg mixture.
4. Cook over a low heat.
5. Lift and turn the mixture with a spoon or spatula, keeping it in large soft masses.
6. Serve.

If you do not have a whisk or other suitable implement for beating eggs, just use a container with a wide lid and a tight seal. Crack the eggs into it, toss the shells aside, put the lid tightly on the container, and vigorously shake it until the eggs are thoroughly mixed up and confused, just like the folks who bring you the ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ Website. By the way, do you know how to unscramble an egg?

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Corey: How do you scramble an egg?
Cornelius: Here’s one way: ne gag.

Arthur: What do you call an egg that’s done many things?
Artemis: An egg with lots of eggsperience.

Paula: Why wouldn’t the egg take a hot bath?
Priscilla: It didn’t want to be hard-boiled.

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How to Make Boiled Eggs

First, you’ll need a fully-grown hen. Next - oh, you say you buy your eggs at the market? Okay, then just follow the simple and easy instructions that follow these words . . .

1. Carefully place eggs in a saucepan and cover with cold water.
2. Place saucepan on stove heating element and bring water to a boil.
3. Leave the pot on the stove but turn the element off.
4. Set the stove timer and leave the eggs until they’re just the way you like them as follows.
    3 to 4 minutes for runny eggs.
    5 to 6 minutes for soft-boiled eggs.
    8 to 9 minutes for hard-boiled eggs.
5. Immediately rinse or immerse the eggs in cold water to stop the cooking process.

Some people say to prevent egg shells from cracking, a pinch of salt should be added to the water before boiling.

Hard-boiled eggs that are made from fresh eggs will be harder to peel than eggs that are a little older. In fresher eggs, the shell and membrane are more tightly bonded with the cooked egg white. As eggs age, the membrane dries out and loosens its bond with the egg yolk. Raw eggs that are properly stored for a week or longer are best for making into hard-boiled eggs because they will be easy to peel.

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A traveling preacher was staying at the home of a good Christian family. He was awakened quite early by the soft tones of a soprano voice singing, “Nearer, My God, to Thee.” The preacher was much impressed by this way of starting the day and he commented on this to his hostess at breakfast. He told her how pleased he was to be in her home. “Oh,” she replied, “that’s the hymn I boil the eggs by: three verses for soft boiled and five for hard boiled.”

Goldie: What did the eggs do when they got on the highway?
Sylvia: They eggcellerated.

Don: How did the eggs leave the highway?
Gordon: They took the eggsit.

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How to Make Poached Eggs

1. Bring a pot or pan of water to a boil.
2. Add 2 teaspoons of white vinegar to the boiling water.
3. Lower the water to a simmer
4. Carefully crack eggs directly into the water, or crack eggs into a ladle or teacup and then gently lower the eggs into the water.
4. Allow the egg to set around the yolk like a white pillow. The egg should float to the top when the white is set.
5. Use a slotted spoon to remove the egg from the water.
6. Add salt, pepper, butter, sauce, or other flavorings, to taste.
7. Serve.

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Cecelia: Why couldn’t the egg family watch television?
Cedric: Because their cable was scrambled.

World Egg Day has been observed on the second Friday in October of every year since 1999. Let’s all scrabble to celebrate!

Martin: What do you call a city of 20 million eggs?
Robin: New Yolk City!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Omelette.
Omelette, who?
Omelette smarter than you might think.

To make scrambled eggs or omelets really rich, add a couple of spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream; and then beat them.

“No clever arrangement of bad eggs ever made a good omelet.” -C. S. Lewis

Ruby: What do you call a mischievous egg?
Rudy: A practical yolker.

Poke a small hole in each end of a washed egg and cover one of the holes with your mouth. Blow forcefully until the entire contents of the egg have been expelled through the other hole. Run water through the inside of the egg to rinse out any remaining egg matter and set aside for several days to air dry. Now your eggshell is ready for decoration. You can draw a face on it, add feet and a hat or hair to cover the holes, and voila and ta-da, you have your very own egg person. Egg people are fragile, so handle with care - you may perhaps want to craft an egg carton vehicle for them to ride around in.

Mattie: What did the egg say to the clown?
Matilda: “You crack me up!”

Deviled eggs can be placed in an egg carton for easy transport to a party or to a new neighbor as a welcoming gift. Loosely lay a sheet of kitchen plastic wrap atop the bottom half of the egg carton containing the individual egg compartments, and place the deviled eggs into the carton one at a time to allow the plastic wrap to conform around them. This creates a layer of clean plastic between the carton and the deviled eggs. Place a second layer of plastic wrap loosely atop the deviled eggs and close the carton. Place the carton in a refrigerator to keep the eggs chilled until just before use.

Harriette: Why did the egg go to sleep?
Henrietta: Because it was eggzausted!

To make easy deviled eggs, put cooked egg yolks into a resealable plastic bag. Mash, then add remainder of ingredients, and continue mashing and mixing thoroughly. Cut a corner from the bag and squeeze mixture into egg into the cooked egg whites. Simply throw bag away when done for easy clean up.

Shelly: What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much?
Michelle: He cracked up.

Who’s ready to get eggcited about eggs? Let’s get eggy with it! We’ll just keep egging you on with more eggzillerating egg humor and egg learning - until you throw some eggstraordinary eggzamples right back at us in the form of your own eggcellent jokes and facts - how very eggscentric! Here’s how: Just take words that have hard g, k, x, or z sounds in them, and work ‘egg’ into them somehow. That’s eggzactly how it’s done!

We have much more learning fun for you on a huge variety of topics . . . just roll down this page to see more. Additionally, we have an ‘Inspiration’ page and a ‘Quotations’ page on the menu bar at the tippy-top of the page.

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Today and the Present

7/5/2018

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“Do something today that your future self will thank you for.” -Author Unknown

The Gift of a Day

Every day’s a perfect gift
     of time for us to use,
Hours waiting to be filled
     in any way we choose.
Each morning brings
   a quiet hope
     that rises with the Sun.
Each evening brings
     the sweet content
     that comes with work well done.

by Author Unknown

“Nothing is worth more than this day.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So . . . get on your way!
by Doctor Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 - 1991)): “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” (1990)

“The living moment is everything.” -D. H. Lawrence (David Herbert Lawrence (1885 - 1930))

Garth: Do you know what today is?
Heath: No - what is it?
Garth: It is the day after yesterday!

“I held a moment in my hand, brilliant as a star, fragile as a flower, a tiny sliver of one hour. I dropped it carelessly, Ah! I didn’t know, I held opportunity.” -Hazel Lee (Hazel Crutcher Lee (1917 - 2006))

“What we do today, right now, will have an accumulated effect on all our tomorrows.” -Alexandra Stoddard (born 1941)

“Each day, and the living of it, has to be a conscious creation in which discipline and order are relieved with some play and pure foolishness.” -May Sarton (pseudonym of Eleanore Marie Sarton (1912 - 1995))

“Remember what was. Anticipate what will be. But live in the moment that lies in between.” -Author Unknown

“Unless each day can be looked back upon by an individual as one in which he has had some fun, some joy, some real satisfaction, that day is a loss.” -Dwight D. Eisenhower (Dwight David ‘Ike’ Eisenhower (1890 - 1969)): as quoted in Louis Filler: “The President Speaks: From William McKinley to Lyndon B. Johnson” (1964)

“Act in the precious present.” -Author Unknown

“The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it is called the present.” -Alice Morse Earle (1851 - 1911): “Sun Dials and Roses of Yesterday: Garden Delights Which Are Here Displayed in Very Truth and Are Morever Regarded As Emblems” (1902)

“Let today be the start of something new.” -Author Unknown

“Ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

Today

Today is mine. It is unique.
Nobody in the world has one exactly like it.
It holds the sum of all my past experiences and all my future potentials.
I can fill it with joyous moments or ruin it with fruitless worry.
If painful recollections of the past come into my mind,
or frightening thoughts of the future, I can put them away.
They cannot spoil today for me.

by Author Unknown

“Today is a brand new day. My past does not define me. My future is mine to create.” -Author Unknown

“There is only one time that is important - now! It is the most important time because it is the only time that we have any power.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910))

“If not now, when will you begin living your life?” -Jack Borland

“The future depends on what we do in the present.” -Mohandas Karamchand ‘Mahatma’ Gandhi (1869 - 1948)

“On a day no different than the one now dawning, Leonardo drew the first strokes of the Mona Lisa, Shakespeare wrote the first words of Hamlet, Beethoven began work on his Ninth Symphony, and Einstein discovered the theory of relativity. What are you going to do today?” -Author Unknown

“If you haven’t found something strange during the day, it hasn’t been much of a day.” -John A. Wheeler (John Archibald Wheeler (1911 - 2008))

“Every day is a gift.” -Author Unknown

“The passing moment is all that we can be sure of; it is only common sense to extract its utmost value from it . . .” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 -1965))

“Days are expensive. When you spend a day, you have one less day to spend. So make sure you spend each one wisely.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“I think, what has this day brought me, and what have I given it?” -Henry Moore (1898 - 1986)

“This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” -Author Unknown: “The Holy Bible” (King James Version, Cambridge Edition (1769)), ‘Psalms,’ Psalm 118, verse 24

Live in the Present

One day at a time
this is enough.
Do not look back
and grieve over the past
for it is gone;
and do not be troubled
about the future
for it has not yet come.
Live in the present
and make it so beautiful
that it will be worth
remembering!

by Author Unknown

“Make the most of today. Translate your good intentions into actual deeds.” -Grenville Kleiser (1868 - 1953)

“If you are going to do something, do it now. Tomorrow is too late.” -Pete Goss (born 1961)

“No day passeth, without something we wish not.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia” (1732), number 3,558

“Never underestimate the value of a day.” -Author Unknown

“What very mysterious things days were. Sometimes they fly by, and other times they seem to last forever, yet they are all exactly twenty-four hours. There’s quite a lot we don’t know about them.” -Melanie Benjamin (pseudonym of Melanie Hauser (born 1962))

“A year from now you may wish you had started today.” -Karen Lamb (born 1956), website www.karenlamb.com

“Make good use of today.” -Author Unknown

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Today

Mend a quarrel. Search out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion and replace it with trust. Write a love letter. Share some treasure. Give a soft answer. Encourage youth. Manifest your loyalty in a word or deed.

Keep a promise. Find the time. Forego a grudge. Forgive an enemy. Listen. Apologize if you were wrong. Try to understand. Flout envy. Examine your demands on others. Think first of someone else. Appreciate, be kind, be gentle. Laugh a little more.

Deserve confidence. Take up arms against malice. Decry complacency. Express your gratitude. Worship your God. Gladden the heart of a child. Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the Earth. Speak your love. Speak it again. Speak it still again. Speak it still once again.

by Author Unknown

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“One today is worth two tomorrows.” -Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790): “The Way to Wealth” (1758)

“Today will never happen again. Don’t waste it with a false start or no start at all.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“One has to live in the present. Whatever is past is gone beyond recall; whatever is future remains beyond one’s reach, until it becomes present. Remembering the past and giving thought to the future are important, but only to the extent that they help one deal with the present.” -S. N. Goenka (Satya Narayan Goenka (1924 - 2013))

“Just for today let us live this one day only, forgetting yesterday and tomorrow, and not trying to solve the whole problem of life at once.” -Joseph F. Newton (Joseph Fort Newton (1878 - 1949))

“Now is all there is.” -Author Unknown

“Day, noun: A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.” -Ambrose Bierce (Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (1842 - 1914))

“No time like the present.” -Mary de la Rivière Manley (also known as Delarivier Manley (1663 - 1724))

“Today is a perfect day to just be happy.” -Author Unknown

“You will never have this day again, so make it count.” -Author Unknown

“Today is tomorrow’s yesterday.” -Author Unknown

“As long as the day lasts, let’s give it all we’ve got.” -David O. McKay (David Oman McKay (1873 - 1970))

“One must never be in haste to end a day. There are too few of them in a lifetime.” -Author Unknown

“The past was. Tomorrow may be. Only today is.” -Sonya Friedman

“Our days are like identical suitcases, all the same size, but some can pack into them twice as much as others.” -Author Unknown

“Today . . . spend more time with people who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you.” -Author Unknown

“The only thing even in this world are the number of hours in a day. The difference in winning or losing is what you do with those hours.” -Woody Hayes (Wayne Woodrow ‘Woody’ Hayes (1913 - 1987))

“Love the moment, and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries.” -Mary Corita Kent (1918 - 1986)

“Look closely at the present you are constructing: it should look like the future you are dreaming.” -Alice Walker (born 1944)

“Your future is created by what you do today, not tomorrow.” -Robert T. Kiyosaki (Robert Toru Kiyosaki (born 1947))

“Seize the day, trust as little as possible in tomorrow.” [English translation]
“Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.” [original Latin]
-Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)): “Odes” (23 B.C.E.), book 1, number 11, final line

“There is no such thing in anyone’s life as an unimportant day.” -Alexander Woollcott (Alexander Humphreys Woollcott (1887 - 1943))

“Right now counts forever.” -R. C. Sproul (Robert Charles Sproul (1939 - 2017)): title of article in “Tabletalk” (May 1977) magazine

“Think that this day will never dawn again.” -Dante Alighieri (about 1265 - 1321)

“There are many fine things which you mean to do some day, under what you think will be more favorable circumstances. But the only time that is surely yours is the present, hence this is the time to speak the word of appreciation and sympathy, to do the generous deed, to forgive the fault of a thoughtless friend, to sacrifice self a little more for others. Today is the day in which to express your noblest qualities of mind and heart, to do at least one worthy thing which you have long postponed, and to use your God-given abilities for the enrichment of some less fortunate fellow traveler. Today you can make your life big, broad, significant, and worthwhile. The present is yours to do with it as you will.” -Grenville Kleiser (1868 - 1953): “Inspiration and Ideals: Thoughts for Every Day” (1918), ‘August Twenty-Eighth’

“Now is the only time anything happens.” -Sylvia Boorstein (born 1936)

“Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time we’ve got.” -Art Buchwald (1925 - 2007): as quoted in “The Journal of the Oklahoma State Medical Association” (1979)

“The man who waits until tomorrow, misses the opportunities of today.” -Author Unknown

“What day is it?” asked Pooh.
“It’s today,” squeaked Piglet. “My favorite day.”
-A. A. Milne (Alan Alexander Milne (1882 - 1956)): “Winnie the Pooh” (14 October 1926)

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” -Annie Dillard (born Meta Ann Doak (born 1945)): “The Writing Life” (1989)

“What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955))

“Every man’s life lies within the present; for the past is spent and done with, and the future is uncertain.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180))

“There’s only now.” -Bill Murray

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . encouraging you to go out today and make great memories . . . to carry forward in your life . . .

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Leadership and Leaders

7/2/2018

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“Every leader needs to look back once in a while to make sure he has followers.” -Author Unknown

“A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.” -Dwight D. Eisenhower (Dwight David ‘Ike’ Eisenhower (1890 - 1969))

“The best way to become a leader is to start acting like one.” -J. D. Cameron

“If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“The first task of a leader is to keep hope alive.” -Joe D. Batten (born 1925)

“By the time you have lined up the third person for something, the first two will have wandered off somewhere.” -Author Unknown

“Before you become a leader, success is all about growing yourself. After you become a leader, success is about growing others.” -Jack Welch (John Francis ‘Jack’ Welch, Junior (born 1935))

“What makes a leader - intelligence, integrity, imagination, skill: in brief, statecraft? Not at all. It is the fact that the man has a following.” -Gerald W. Johnson

“The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.” -Author Unknown

“We are all leaders - whether we want to be or not. There is always someone we are influencing - either leading them to good - or away from good.” -Leif Erikson (about C.E. 970 - about C.E. 1020)

“The only real training for leadership is leadership.” -Anthony Jay

“The important work of moving the world forward does not wait to be done by perfect men.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans (1819 - 1880))

“The qualities of leadership are not something you attain overnight.” -Betty McDonald: “Hello, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle” (1957)

“If you would rule the world quietly, you must keep it amused.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“The function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers.” -Ralph Nader

“I make progress by having people around me who are smarter than I am - and listening to them. And I assume that everyone is smarter about something than I am.” -Henry J. Kaiser (Henry John Kaiser (1882 - 1967))

“Many people who lack the know-how to build better lives for themselves just need someone to give them a show-how . . . Could that someone be you?” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Really great men have a curious feeling that the greatness is not in them but through them.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“Sometimes you gotta create what you want to be a part of.” -Geri Weitzman

“The first essential for leadership is a group of dumb guys to follow you.” -Author Unknown

“The task of leadership is not to put greatness into people, but to elicit it, for the greatness is there already.” -John Buchan (1875 - 1940)

“When someone demands blind obedience, you’d be a fool not to peek.” -Jim Fiebig

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

And then there are the self-led people, who will not be led by others and who often will not be leaders, either . . . who are not stubborn, and not crazy, but simply possess a preference for being independent and self-reliant . . . and who recognize and admire those traits in others.

“I am not apt to follow blindly the lead of other men.” -Charles Darwin (1809 - 1882)

“Certainly a leader needs a clear vision of the organization and where it is going, but a vision is of little value unless it is shared in a way so as to generate enthusiasm and commitment. Leadership and communication are inseparable.” -Claude Taylor

“Outstanding leaders go out of their way to boost the self-esteem of their personnel. If people believe in themselves, it’s amazing what they can accomplish.” -Sam Walton (1918 - 1992)

“The best leader is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” -Theodore Roosevelt (Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919))

“The real leader has no need to lead; he is content to point the way.” -Henry Miller (1891 - 1980)

“A leader does not deserve the name unless he is willing occasionally to stand alone.” -Henry Alfred Kissinger (born 1923): “The Necessity for Choice: Prospects of American Foreign Policy” (1961)

“No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself, or to get all the credit for doing it.” -Andrew Carnegie (1835 - 1919)

“One of the true tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency.” -Arnold H. Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“Most people who want to get ahead do it backward. They think, ‘I’ll get a bigger job, then I’ll learn how to be a leader. But showing leadership skill is how you get the bigger job in the first place. Leadership isn’t a position, it’s a process.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“People prefer to follow those who help them, not those who intimidate them.” -C. Gene Wilkes (born 1953)

“Leadership is not about titles, positions, or flowcharts. It is about one life influencing another.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea . . .” -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (Antoine Marie Jean-Baptiste Roger, comte de Saint-Exupéry (1900 - 1944))

“Leadership is an opportunity to serve. It is not a trumpet call to self-importance.” -Author Unknown

“The higher men climb, the longer their working day. There are no office hours for leaders.” -James Gibbons (1834 - 1921)

“The very essence of leadership is you have to have a vision.” -Theodore Hesburgh (Theodore Martin Hesburgh (1917 - 2015))

“Leadership: Understanding that blaming others will not generate trust and will not inspire people to join forces to create progress.” -Author Unknown

“A leader leads by example, not by force.” -Sun Tzu (possibly 544 B.C.E. - possibly 496 B.C.E.)

“The best leader is the one who has the sense to surround himself with outstanding people and self-restraint not to meddle with how they do their jobs.” -Author Unknown

“A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, and a little less than his share of the credit.” -Arnold H. Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“As a leader you should always start with where people are before you try to take them to where you want them to go.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Those who cannot think or take responsibility for themselves need, and clamor for, a leader.” -Hermann Hesse (1877 - 1962): “Reflections” (1974), number 106

“Leaders aren’t born, they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that’s the price we’ll have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal.” -Vince Lombardi (Vincent Thomas Lombardi (1913 - 1970))

“Leaders must live by higher standards than their followers.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“Self-control is a critical leadership skill. Leaders generally are able to plan and work at a task over a longer time span than those they lead.” -Gerald Faust

“There are no great men, only great challenges that ordinary men are forced by circumstances to meet.” -William F. Halsey (William Frederick ‘Bull’ Halsey, Junior (1882 - 1959)): as quoted in Thomas A. Bailey: “Presidential Greatness: The Image and the Man from George Washington to the Present” (1966)

“Nothing so conclusively proves a man’s ability to lead others as what he does from day to day to lead himself.” -Thomas J. Watson, Senior (1874 - 1956)

“Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality.” -Author Unknown

“No man is fit to command another that cannot command himself.” -William Penn (1644 - 1718)

“The best leaders are those most interested in surrounding themselves with assistants and associates smarter than they are. They are frank in admitting this and are willing to pay for such talents.” -Amos Parrish

“Leadership is action, not position.” -Samuel Gompers (1850 - 1924)

“Effective leadership is not about making speeches or being liked; leadership is defined by results not attributes.” -Peter F. Drucker (Peter Ferdinand Drucker (1909 - 2005))

“One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears - by listening to them.” -Dean Rusk (1909 - 1994)

“You can’t lead a cavalry if you think that you look funny riding a horse.” -John Peers

“If the dogs are barking at your heels, you know you’re leading the pack.” -Author Unknown

“A leader leads by example whether he intends to or not.” -Author Unknown

“Leadership is more likely to be assumed by the aggressive than by the able, and those who scramble to the top are more often motivated by their own inner torments.” -Bergen Evans (Bergen Baldwin Evans (1904 - 1978))

“A leader is an ordinary person with extraordinary determination.” -Author Unknown

“The most dangerous leadership myth is that leaders are born-that there is a genetic factor to leadership. This myth asserts that people simply either have certain charismatic qualities or not. That’s nonsense; in fact, the opposite is true. Leaders are made rather than born.” -Warren G. Bennis

“True leadership would convince people, rather than force them.” -David C. Kifer

“Leaders are visionaries with a poorly developed sense of fear and no concept of the odds against them.” -Robert Jarvik

“There go the people. I must follow them, for I am their leader.” -Alexandre Ledru-Rollin (Alexandre Auguste Ledru-Rollin (1807 - 1874)) (15 May 1848): as quoted by Eugène de Mirecourt: “Histoire Contemporaine, No. 79” (1857)

“One man with courage makes a majority.” -Andrew Jackson

“You can’t lead anyone else further than you have gone yourself.” -Gene Mauch (Gene William Mauch (1925 - 2005))

“A leader must have the courage to act against an expert’s advice.” -James Callaghan (Leonard James ‘Jim’ Callaghan (1912 - 2005)): as quoted in “The Harvest Business Review” (1 November 1986)

“Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“Leadership is the ability to get extraordinary achievement from ordinary people.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind him in other men the conviction and the will to carry on.” -Walter Lippmann (1889 - 1974): ‘Roosevelt Has Gone’ published in “The New York Herald Tribune” (14 April 1945) newspaper

“As soon as a certain number of living beings are gathered together, whether they be animals or men, they place themselves instinctively under the authority of a chief.” -Gustave Le Bon (Charles-Marie Gustave Le Bon (1841 - 1931)): “The Crowd: A Study of the Popular Mind” (1895)

“A good objective of leadership is to help those who are doing poorly to do well and to help those who are doing well to do even better.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Few great men could pass personnel.” -Paul Goodman (1911 - 1972): “Growing Up Absurd” (1956), page 153

Overheard: All those who are opposed to the plan I am about to propose will reply by saying “I resign.”

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.” -John Quincy Adams (1767 - 1848): as attributed in Pat Williams (born 1940): “The Paradox of Power” (2002)

“There is great force hidden in a gentle command.” -George Herbert (1593 - 1633)

“Ethics must begin at the top of an organization. It is a leadership issue and the chief executive must set the example.” -Edward Hennessy

“Example is leadership.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

“Pull the string, and it will follow wherever you wish. Push it, and it will go nowhere at all.” -Dwight D. Eisenhower (Dwight David ‘Ike’ Eisenhower (1890 - 1969))

“When [Derek the mouse] went out briefly into the world, he noted that his friends treated him with more respect, perhaps because he was behaving in a more respect-commanding way.” -William Steig (1907 - 2003): “The Real Thief” (15 July 1973)

“He who has never learned to obey cannot be a good commander.” -Aristotle (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.): “Politics” (as translated by Benjamin Jowett)

“Leadership does not mean domination. The world is always well supplied with people who wish to rule and dominate others. The true leader is a different sort; he seeks effective activity which has a truly beneficent purpose. He inspires others to follow in his wake, and holding aloft the torch of wisdom, leads the way for society to realize its genuinely great aspirations.” -Haile Selassie I (born Ras Tafari Makonnen (1892 - 1975)): ‘Speech on Leadership’ published in “Speeches Delivered on Various Occasions” (May 1957 - December 1959) (1960), page 138

“A great person attracts great people and knows how to hold them together.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . leading the way to . . . ummm . . . we will get back to you on that one . . . in the meantime, please enjoy what is coming next . . .

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Shoes and Footwear

6/29/2018

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Presto: What results from wearing tight shoes.

“A handsome shoe often pinches the foot.” -Author Unknown

Shoe store sign: Limited Time Offer - Buy Two Shoes - And Get A Third Shoe Absolutely Free!

A man walked into a shoe store, and tried on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asked the sales clerk. “Well . . . they feel a bit tight,” replied the man. The assistant promptly bent down and looked at the shoes and the man’s feet. “Try pulling out on the tongue,” offered the clerk. “Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth,” the man said.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

The earliest known footwear is a pair of sandals that date back to about 7,000 B.C.E. However, anatomical analysis of early humans seems to indicate that they may have begun wearing shoes as early as 40,000 years ago. Before then, people ran around barefoot and ate rocks. What’s that . . . oh, apparently, early humans did not eat rocks . . . just wild plants, raw meat, and bugs. Say, aren’t you glad you wear shoes?

Dustin: Do your shoes have holes in them?
Austin: No.
Dustin: Then how did you get your feet into them?

“If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.” -Sue Grafton

Edith: Who always goes to bed wearing shoes?
Edna: A horse, of course.

Shoes all over the world were identical until 1822, when left-footed and right-footed shoes were made for the first time in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States of America.

Overheard: “I have enough shoes.”

If the shoe fits, it must be some kind of trick - don't be fooled!

Ida: What has a tongue but cannot speak?
Emma: A shoe.

Overheard: Those shoes certainly make you look ‘well-heeled’!

Sonya: Why did the two shoes not get along?
Sonny: Because they both thought they were ‘right.’

The boots Neil Armstrong wore when he walked on the Moon are still floating around somewhere in outer space. He had to leave his boots there so that he could bring as many Moon rocks as possible back to Earth.

If the shoe fits, buy a pair in every color.

Sabrina: What runs around all day and then lies on the floor with its tongue hanging out?
Katrina: Your shoe!

In the silent movie “The Gold Rush” (August 1925), comedic actor Charlie Chaplin actually ate his shoe. He portrayed his signature character, ‘The Tramp’ as a gold prospector who was trapped in a cabin during a snowstorm. Starving, he decided to boil his boot and eat the laces like spaghetti. Fortunately for Mr. Chaplin’s digestive system, the shoe used in the movie was made of licorice candy provided by the American Licorice Company.

“High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))

Tutor: Can you name at least six things you can wear on your feet that begin with the letter ‘s’?
Student: Sandals, shoes, skates, skis, slippers, sneakers, snowshoes, socks, stilts, and stockings.

Many years ago, two salesmen were sent by a British shoe manufacturer to Africa to investigate and report on market potential. The first salesman reported back, “There is no potential here - nobody wears shoes.” The second salesman reported back, “There is massive potential here - nobody wears shoes.”

Joe’s Shoes

The shoes of old Eskimo Joe
Fell apart as he walked in the snow.
“Have you needle and thread?”
I enquired, but he said,
“No, igloo them, not sew them, you know.”

-Author Unknown

If the shoe fits your foot, it will not fit your budget.

Apparently, bears never wear shoes, as they prefer to gallop around in just their ‘bear feet.’

“I have tennis shoes with little rhinestones that I slip on if I exercise. But I always wear heels, even around the house. I’m such a short little thing, I can’t reach my kitchen cabinets.” -Dolly Parton (born 1946)

“A man can walk without shoes, but shoes can’t walk without a man.” -George Daly

Squeakers: Shoes that mice wear.

Gregory: Who wears two pairs of shoes, both at the same time?
Geoffrey: Mules - as do horses, ponies, and ‘mammoth donkeys’ used for riding.

“You cannot put the same shoe on every foot.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

If the shoe fits, you are asleep and having a dream about shoes.

“The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.” -Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961)

Melody: What is made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
Clarabelle: A shoe.

A typical pair of casual shoes will last for about 500 miles of walking.

“Give a girl the right pair of shoes and she’ll conquer the world.” -Marilyn Monroe (pseudonym of Norma Jean Mortenson Baker (1926 - 1962))

Al: What goes, “Thump, thump, thump, squish! Thump, thump, thump, squish!”?
Fred: An elephant wearing a soggy tennis shoe.

“Never buy shoes early in the day when your feet are their smallest.” -Frances Patiky Stein

The best time to buy shoes is when you are cranky and tired from walking and standing around all day, say for example, after work or school. This is because your feet are likely to be at their largest at this time of the day. That is right, your feet change in size throughout the day. It is shocking, we know. In the morning, you arise with your feet well-rested, but as the day progresses, you put a lot of pressure on your feet, causing them to spread out and swell up. If you try on shoes at the start of the day, well, that is when your feet are small, and if you were to continue to wear that same pair of shoes all day long, by the end of the day, your feet would not be happy, because they will be crammed into shoes that are too tiny.

Maxwell: Why do cobblers (shoemakers) go to Heaven?
Maxine: Because they have good soles.

“If the shoe fits, it’s too expensive.” -Adrienne Gusoff

Horace: Why did the simpleton write T.G.I.F. on his shoes?
Horatio: Toes Go In First.

If the shoe fits, it must be some kind of magical shoe.

These shoes are absolutely the cat’s meow . . .

A man walked into a shoe store and asked for a pair of shoes in size eight. The well-trained salesman said, “But sir, you need an eleven or an eleven-and-a-half.” “Just bring me a size eight,” the man said. The sales guy brought them out and the man stuffed his feet into them and stood up in obvious pain. He turned to the salesman and said, “I’ll take them. You see, I have lost my house to the tax collector, I live with my mother-in-law, my daughter ran off with her no-account boyfriend, and my business has filed for bankruptcy. The only pleasure I have left is at the end of the day when I go home and take my shoes off.”

“Sure, I may walk around as if everything is fine . . . but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. I think that my shoe is trying to eat my sock, and that is a scary thought.” -Author Unknown

Darlene: What did the shoe say to the gum?
Darla: “Stick with me and we’ll go places!”

Shoe Facts
- The bottom of a shoe that touches the ground is called the ‘sole.’
- The part of a shoe above the sole is called the ‘upper.’
- The plastic casings on the ends of shoelaces that prevent them from unraveling are called ‘aglets.’
- The holes in shoes that laces are fed through are called ‘eyelets.’
- The tongue of a shoe will not lick your feet.
- The edge around the opening of a shoe is called the ‘collar.’

If the shoe fits, it’s obviously on somebody else’s foot.

Many people do not know that feet can increase by one-and-a-half shoe sizes or more throughout their lifetimes. A person’s feet can flatten and spread out as he or she ages, causing a permanent increase in both length and width. Additionally, changes in weight, surgery, amount of time spent standing and walking on the feet, lifting and moving heavy items all day long and other physical exertion at work and in play, and pregnancy can cause foot size to increase. You may want to consider this the next time you go shoe shopping, especially if you have been torturing yourself by trying to wear the same shoe size now that you wore years ago as a teenager or a young adult. Try on slightly larger size shoes in slightly bigger widths, perhaps with more toe room. Your feet will thank you!

“I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside, ‘Made around the corner.’” -Frank Carson

Shoes called sneakers were first produced in about 1800. They had a simple rubber sole design, with the name ‘sneaker’ coming from the fact that their soles are so smooth and yielding that they hardly make a sound on the ground.

Hubert: What kind of shoes do detectives wear?
Hugh: Sneakers!

Another name for a detective is a ‘gumshoe,’ because detectives have traditionally worn soft-soled shoes.

If the shoe fits, buy it.

“It is totally impossible to be well-dressed in cheap shoes.” -Hardy Amies (Edwin Hardy Amies (1909 - 2003))

Otis: What does a shoemaker use to repair shoes?
Otto: Toe-nails.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pear.
Pear, who?
Pear of shoes.

Shoestring: What every self-made businessperson claims to have built a business on.

You can tell a lot about a person’s character by the shoes he or she wears.

Need money? How about this zany idea: Become a ‘shoe reading’ expert. People come to you, you look at their shoes, you tell them what their shoes reveal about them, and you then advise them on what kind of shoes to buy if they want people to have a different opinion of them based on their shoes. This idea makes a lot more sense than palm reading and other methods of ‘fortune telling.’

Overheard: So many shoes . . . and only two feet.

“Your shoes are only as good as the laces they’re attached to.” -Greg Sampson

Norma: Why did the shoelaces arrive late at the party?
Nora: Because they got all tied up earlier.

If the shoe fits, it is too good to be true.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe . . . rumor has it that it once belonged to a giant who lived at the top of a beanstalk . . . the old woman was walking along, looking for affordable housing in a safe neighborhood for herself and her children, when all of a sudden, a really big shoe dropped out of the sky. Aren’t fairy tales fun?

If the shoe fits, buy the store.

Emma: What is six feet long, green, and has two tongues?
Emily: The Jolly Green Giant’s sneakers!

Shoes Quiz
- What features should a person look for in a shoe?
- What are arch supports?
- What is a padded collar on a shoe?
- What are aglets and what is their purpose?
- Which of the following shoe toe shapes is best for your feet: pointed, squared, or rounded?
- In what types of jobs do people need steel-toed boots or shoes?
- Describe the perfect pair of shoes.
- What items make up a shoeshine kit?
- What are sensible shoes?

“I stand corrected!” said the man in the orthopedic shoes.

Shoe store sign: Buy One Shoe - Get Second Shoe Free!

The ‘boat shoe’ was invented by Paul Sperry. He modeled the sole of the shoe after his dog’s paw.

Ernie: What did one shoe say to the other shoe?
Bernie: “You stay here, and I’ll go on ahead to see what’s underfoot.”

Here’s a great title for a song: “I’ve Got the Squeaky Shoes Blues, Yeah!” Now we just need you to write the lyrics, or words, to go along with the song title.

“Shoes speak louder than words.” -Author Unknown

Moses: What kind of shoes are made from banana skins?
Moe: Slippers!

If the shoe fits, you have somehow been magically transported to a fairy tale land.

This just in: There is more to life than shoes. We are kidding, of course!

Riddle:
I run over fields and woods all day;
Under a bed at night, I wait not alone
With long tongue hanging out,
I will be filled in the morn.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a shoe.

If the shoe fits, you are daydreaming again . . . time to get back to work.

Geoffrey: What has no feet but wears out shoes?
George: A sidewalk.

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . what’s that . . . our shoes are calling to us . . . seems they want to go out walking . . . maybe we will see you out there . . .

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Fun Facts and Trivia

6/27/2018

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‘Meow’ means ‘woof’ in cat.

Maurice: What is a ‘camel’s hair’ brush made of?
Maureen: Squirrel fur!

The word ‘trivia’ comes from the Latin word ‘trivium,’ meaning a place where three roads meet. At such places, just as at public squares, people would gather and talk about all sorts of matters, most of which were ‘trivial.’

The English Channel between England and France grows about 300 millimeters wider each year. Perhaps the British are on their way to visit their cousins in America?

Instead of a birthday cake, many children in Russia are given a birthday pie.

“There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970)): “In Praise of Idleness” (1932)

Boston College is in Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts . . . much to the consternation of people who arrive in Boston, expecting to find it there.

The very first computer ‘mouse’ was made in 1964 by a man named Doug Engelbert. The mouse was made of wood.

Worcestershire sauce is really just anchovy ketchup.

Why do the wires on telephone poles hum? Well, it is not the electricity or people’s phone conversations that produce the hum. The hum you sometimes hear is caused by the wind passing through the wires and making them vibrate to make a sound, which varies in pitch depending upon the speed of the wind and the tightness of the wire.

There is no egg in eggplant, no ham in hamburger, and neither apple nor pine in pineapple. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads are meat - and not at all sweet.

The coins thrown into the Trevi Fountain in Italy are collected for charity.

The Antpitta avis canis Ridgley is a species of bird that barks like dog.

The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.

The average person consumes 45,424 liters (12,000 gallons) of water in a lifetime.

The most common time for wakeup calls at hotels is 7:00 a.m.

Van Camp’s Pork and Beans were a staple food for Union soldiers during the American Civil War.

The expression ‘three dog night’ originated with the Eskimos and means a very cold night - so cold that you have to bed down with three dogs to keep warm.

Aphesis is when unstressed vowels are skipped. Examples: Because - ’cause, amid - ’mid, especially - ’specially.

The United States Federal Aviation Administration once did a study that found the average airline stewardess (flight attendant) has a nose that is 5.5372 centimeters (2.18 inches) long. Does knowing this help stewardesses move around in the narrow spaces inside airplanes?

While she never lived further west than Ohio, Annie Oakley (pseudonym of Phoebe Anne Moses) was famous as an expert shotgun and rifle marksman in ‘Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show.’

The world’s largest human-made hole is in Kimberly, South Africa. It has a circumference, or distance around its outer edge, of 1.6 kilometers, and a depth of 800 meters. Digging was started on it 1871, to find buried diamonds.

The letter combination ‘ough’ can be pronounced in nine different ways. The following sentence contains all of them: “A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.”

‘Moon trees’ were grown from seeds taken to the Moon during the Apollo 14 mission in early 1971. NASA and USFS wanted to see if being in space or the Moon’s orbit caused the seeds to grow differently.

Why is it that when people are in the public eye they are said to be ‘in the limelight’? Invented in 1825, limelight was used in lighthouses and stage lighting by burning a cylinder of lime in an oxyhydrogen flame that produced a brilliant light. In the theatre, performers on stage ‘in the limelight’ were seen by the audience to be the center of attention.

Abdul Kassem Ismael, the Grand Vizier of Persia in the 10th century, could not bear to part with his 177,000-volume library when he traveled, and he had the books carried by a caravan of 400 camels trained to walk in alphabetical order.

Phonetic ABC’s: A system used by the military and others when they have to spell out a word to make it clear in a radio transmission. Usually this is used when words or letters have a similar sound. Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, Juliet, Kilo, Lima, Mike, November, Oscar, Papa, Quebec, Romeo, Sierra, Tango, Uniform, Victor, Whiskey, X-ray, Yankee, Zulu.

Blackboard chalk is not chalk, but is plaster of Paris.

China is believed to be the world’s oldest continuously existing civilization.

An average person consumes more than a ton of food and drink each year.

The car in the foreground on the back of an American $10 bill is a 1925 Hupmobile.

The real name of the horse in the television show “Mister Ed” was Bamboo Harvester.

Cartoon character Sylvester the Cat’s full name is Sylvester J. Pussycat.

The oldest business in the United States of America is the cymbal company Zildjian, which was originally founded in Constantinople in 1623, according to “American Heritage of Invention & Technology” (Winter 2000)

Question: If you were to spell out each number, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter ‘a’?
Answer: One thousand.

Intelligent people are said to have more zinc and copper in their hair.

A car traveling at 80 kilometers (50 miles) per hour burns half of its fuel just to overcome wind resistance. What a drag . . . on your wallet.

The Ten Commandments contain 297 words.
The Bill of Rights is stated in 463 words.
Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address contains 266 words.
A recent federal directive to regulate the price of cabbage contains 26,911 words.

Mike Hayes, a man from Rochelle, Illinois, funded his education by asking 2.8 million people for one penny each. This happened in 1987, so if you wanted to pay for your college education the same way today, you would have to ask more than ten million people.

Fried chicken is the most popular meal ordered in formal, or sit-down, restaurants in the United States of America. The next in popularity are roast beef, spaghetti, turkey, baked ham, and fried shrimp.

American car horns beep in the tone of F.

Hurricanes are storms that form over the sea or ocean and last for up to ten days.

Bali, an island of Indonesia, has the world’s largest variety of flora, or plant life.

All the people on Earth could fit into a 1-kilometer cube, if done so in the manner groups of people once stuffed themselves into telephone booths.

Cars were first started with ignition keys in 1949.

Chalk is made from tiny plankton fossils.

What is ‘dry ice’? Dry ice is compressed carbon dioxide gas. It is compressed until it is liquefied; after liquefaction, it is frozen. Dry ice is used as a refrigerant, as it changes back to a gas without becoming a liquid. Dry ice transforms directly from being a solid to a gas. It remains in a solid state for a longer time, and at cooler temperatures, than ordinary ice.

Most of the vitamin C in fruits is in the skin.

William Moulton Marston was the creator of the fictional superhero Wonder Woman. He also invented the polygraph machine, also known as the lie detector.

England’s first great industry was wool.

The world record for a photographic memory feat is held by a man in Burma who recited 16,000 pages of Buddhist canonical texts from memory.

Each year, there is one ton of cement poured for each man, woman, and child on Earth.

Dreamt is the only English word that ends in ‘mt.’

Half of all crimes are committed by people under the age of 18.

During a total solar eclipse, the temperature can drop by 6 degrees Celsius (20 degrees Fahrenheit).

A wire clothes hanger is about 112 centimeters (44 inches) long when straightened.

Halley’s Comet passes the Earth every 76 years, and the next time it will return will be 2062.

An electric eel can produce a shock of up to 650 volts.

Jack is the most common name in nursery rhymes.

About 45 percent of the world’s human population lives in China and India.

The first comic strip was, “The Yellow Kid,” published in the “New York World” newspaper starting in 1896. The cartoonist was named Richard Felton Outcault.

It is said that it takes 17 muscles to smile and 43 to frown.

Two of the words in the English language that have all five vowels in alphabetical order are ‘abstemious’ and ‘facetious.’ Even more amazing is that no one really knows what these words mean.

It takes 1,100 watts of electricity to power a toaster.

The Sea of Tranquility on the Moon is deeper than the highest mountain on Earth.

‘Sheik’ means ‘old man’ in Arabic.

The symbol # is known as a pound sign, a hashtag, an octothorpe, and by other names. Octo means eight, and it does appear to have 8 legs. It also resembles the grid used in the game tic-tac-toe.

More than 500 meteorites hit the Earth each year.

Rubber bands last longer when kept refrigerated.

The Tower of Independence clock on the back of a U.S. $100 dollar bill shows the time as 4:10.

The first rugby club was formed in 1843.

The sari or saree, the traditional dress of women on the Indian subcontinent, has been used continuously and relatively unchanged for thousands of years.

The typical wave height from a Pacific tsunami is between 6 and 9 meters (20 and 30 feet).

Ninety percent or more of an iceberg is under water.

In 1872, Yellowstone Park in the United States of America became the world’s first national park.

The dishwasher was invented in 1889.

The largest island in the Mediterranean Sea is Sicily.

An average person consumes 100 tons of food and 45,424 liters (12,000 gallons) of water in a lifetime.

The supersonic Concorde jet made its first trial flight on 1 January 1969.

The oldest word in the English language is ‘town.’

The average person has 10,000 taste buds.

The Pyramid of Giza, one of the Great Pyramids in Egypt, is made of 2.5 million blocks of stone.

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is ‘screeched.’

Yahoo was originally called Jerry’s Guide to the World Wide Web.

At a National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) conference in 1972, Roxcy Bolton proposed naming hurricanes after Senators instead of women. She also preferred “him-i-canes.”

Classical music composer Ludwig van Beethoven was once told by a music teacher that he has no talent for music.

Before jets and jet lag, there were boats and boat lag.

The world’s knowledge is growing so fast that ninety percent of what we will know in 50 years’ time will be discovered in those 50 years.

The doorbell was invented in 1831.

The world’s record for continuous pogo stick jumping is 41 hours.

Fathers tend to determine the height of their child, mothers their weight.

‘Karoke’ means ‘empty orchestra’ in Japanese.

In 1972, a Swedish man balanced on one foot for over five hours, using nothing for support.

Castor oil is used as a lubricant in jet airplanes.

The three most common languages in the world are Mandarin Chinese, Spanish, and English.

Clark Gable’s middle name was Clark, and his first name was William.

Possibly, every person is afraid of something, and some people are said to be afraid of everything. Panophobia is a fear of everything, and nihilophobia is a fear of absolutely nothing, also known as being foolhardy.

‘Almost’ is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

The largest living structure on Earth is the 2,000 kilometer (1,243 mile) long Great Barrier Reef on Australia’s coast.

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . where there is no such thing as an unimportant fact . . . more follows . . . with some fun . . .

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Flowering Plants and Flowers

6/23/2018

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“Earth laughs in flowers.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882): “Hamatreya” (1846)

Daisy: What did one rose say to the other?
Iris: “Hi, Bud!”

In 1634 in the Netherlands, a collector traded 454 kilograms (1,000 pounds) of cheese, four oxen, eight pigs, twelve sheep, a bed, and a suit of clothes for a single bulb of the Viceroy tulip . . . seems he traded a farm for a flower.

Who bends a knee where violets grow
     A hundred secret things shall know.
by Rachael Field (Rachael Lyman Field (1894 - 1942)): “The Pointed People” (1924), ‘A Charm for Spring Flowers’

A gentleman entered a busy florist shop which displayed a large sign reading, “Let Flowers Do Your Talking.” “Wrap up one rose,” he told the florist. “Only one?” the florist asked. “Just one,” the customer replied. “I’m a man of few words.”

Jeremy: How do you make a flower grow faster?
Jerome: Just push the ‘accelerator petal.’

“There are always flowers for those who want to see them.” -Henri Matisse (1869 - 1954)

Caught Stealing

A maiden caught stealing a dahlia
Said, “Oh, you shan’t tell on me, shahlia?
     But the florist was hot,
     And he said, “Like as not,
They’ll send you to jail, you bad gahlia!

by Author Unknown

Broccoli and cauliflower are not only flowers, but are vegetables for your dinner plate as well.

Rose: Why could the flower not ride a bicycle?
Daisy: Because she could not reach the pedals with her petals.

“Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made, and forgot to put a soul into.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887): “Life Thoughts” (1858)

“Always take time to stop and smell the roses, and sooner or later, you will inhale a bee.” -Author Unknown

“If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.” -Doug Larson (1902 - 1981): as quoted in “Reader’s Digest” (1984)

“When I walk with you, I feel as if I had a flower in my buttonhole.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863)

“The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.” -Hada Béjar (1931 - 2014)

Molly: What kind of flowers grow on your face?
Darla: Tulips.

These red lips are commonly called flowers, but are actually plant bracts. For an explanation, please visit
http://davesgarden.com/guides/articles/view/3156/.

Things to Do If You Are a Flower
- Be a wonderful color like purplish-pink or peach or yellow.
- Listen to the wind.
- Dance in the breeze.
- Smell good.
- Be tickled by raindrops.
- Speak of love without saying a word.
- Grow toward the Sun.
- Count every star in the night sky.
- Be beautiful in your own way.
- What would you do if you were a flower?

“People from a planet without flowers would think we must be mad with joy the whole time to have such things about us.” -Iris Murdoch (1919 - 1999): “A Fairly Honorable Defeat” (1970)

I will be the gladdest thing
     Under the Sun!
I will touch a hundred flowers
     And not pick one.
by Edna Saint Vincent Millay (1892 - 1950): “Afternoon on a Hill”

“I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some.” -Herbert Rappaport (Gerbert Moritsevich Rappaport (1908 - 1983))

“It’s okay to send flowers, but don’t let the flowers do all the talking. Flowers have a limited vocabulary. About the best flowers can say is that you remembered. But your words tell the rest.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

Pluck not the wayside flower;
     It is the traveler’s dower.
A thousand passersby
     Its beauties may espy,
To win a touch of blessing
     From nature’s mild caressing.
by William Allingham (1824 - 1889): “Wayside Flowers”

“All flowers are not to be picked; some are meant to stay rooted so their beauty may continue to sing praises unto nature.” -Grace Terrell

I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud

I wandered lonely as a cloud
     That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
     A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
     Fluttering and dancing in the breeze
Continuous as the stars that shine
     And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretched in never-ending line
     Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
     Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

by William Wordsworth (1770 - 1850) (1804)

“Take care of your peonies and the dahlias will take care of themselves.” -F. P. Adams (Franklin Pierce Adams (1881 - 1960))

Ezekiel: What do you get when you cross a flower with a monkey?
Daniel: Chimp-pansies.

Wild Flower Alphabet

A for the Aconite, first of the year,
B for the Buttercup, able to hold Dewdrop
And rain in its chalice of gold.
C for the Cowslip, sweet joy of the spring;
When cowslips are blooming the nightingales sing.
D for the Daisy, white star of the grass,
Lifting its bright eye to us as we pass.
E for the Eglantine, lovely wild rose,
Sheds fragrance of sweetbriar where - ever it grows.
F for the Foxglove, the sentinel tall,
Guarding the forest from summer to fall.
G for the Gorse of rich golden delight;
Linnaeus went down on his knees at the sight.
H for the Harebell, so fragile, yet strong,
The dear little Blue Bells of Scotland in song.
I for the Iris which grows by the stream,
The Flower of the Rainbow, how golden its gleam!
J for Saint John’s Wort, of medical fame,
Balm of the Warrior’s Wound was its name.
K for the Kingcup that loves marshy fields,
And glorious the harvest of gold that it yields!
L for the Ling, the dear flower of the heath,
How tender its color, how fragrant its breath!
M for the Meadowsweet, pleasant and rare
Is the perfume with which it enchanteth the air!
N for the Nightshade, or Bittersweet, flower,
With its berries and blossoms of poisonous power.
O for the Oxlip, a flower that you’ll find
When cowslips and orchids in posies you bind.
P for the Primrose, recalling to sight
Paths in the woodland a-shimmer with light.
Q for the Quaking grass, name that it takes
From the way it unceasingly shivers and shakes.
R for the Rest-harrow, staying the plough,
Food for the gentle-eyed, ruminant cow.
S for the Speedwell, tenderest blue;
From the skies it has taken its exquisite hue.
T for the traveler’s Joy that you’ll find
Where sweet sheltering hedgerows wander and wind.
U for the Upright Sea-lavender flower;
The sand-swallows claim it for sheltering bower.
V for the Violet, flower of the soul,
Heart’s-ease of Paradise, making us whole.
W for windflower, so fair to the sight,
That throws o’er the woodlands her mantle of light.
X forms a cross in the Passion- flower wild
In Southern America, balmy and mild.
Y for the Yarrow, all wayfarers know,
As it grows by the wayside where ever you go.
Z is the ribbon this posy to bind,
With the thoughts and the fragrance
It brings to your mind.

by Author Unknown

“Whatever a man’s age, he can reduce it several years by putting a bright-colored flower in his buttonhole.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“God gave us our memories so that we might have roses in December.” -James Matthew Barrie (1860 - 1937)

Plato: What kind of flowers do you give to a monster?
Socrates: Mari-ghouls and morning-gories.

“Every flower blooms in its own sweet time.” -Author Unknown

“Many flowers are good fried or frittered. Blossoms of squash, pumpkin, honey locust, daylily, elderberry, and yucca are all tasty. Yucca flowers are also delicious stir-fried with green peppers and garlic.” -Homer Stillson (1930)

The largest flower in the world, Rafflesia arnoldii, grows in Indonesia and can be as much as 0.9 meters (3 feet wide) and weigh as much as 6.8 kilograms (15 pounds).

When you look at them, these orchids almost seem to be looking back at you . . . . but do not worry, they are benign . . . or perhaps there are more than nine . . .

“Flowers are as common in the country as people are in London.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

Annabelle: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Bernice: Blushing June brides! (Alternative answers would include ‘Pilgrims’ or ‘Allergies.’)

“The flower which is single, need not envy the thorns that are numerous.” - Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

A man walked into a flower shop “I’d like some flowers, please.” “Certainly, sir. What did you have in mind?” asked the florist. The man shrugged, “Well, I’m not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh . . .” “Perhaps I can help. What exactly have you done?”

The name of the flower ‘heliotrope’ is derived from the ancient Greek words ‘helios’ meaning ‘sun’ and ‘trepos’ meaning ‘turning to go into to,’ because its leaves and flowers turn toward the Sun. The daffodil flower’s name is from the Old English ‘affo dyle’ meaning ‘that which cometh early’ because it is one of the earliest blooming flowers. The iris flower is named after the Greek goddess Iris, who was believed to carry messages of love from Heaven to Earth using a rainbow as her bridge. Irises are named after her because they bloom in just about all the colors of the rainbow. Doctor Joel Poinsett, the first American ambassador to Mexico, brought the poinsettia to the United States in 1828. The plant, called ‘flower of the blessed night’ in Mexico, was renamed in Poinsett’s honor.

“If a flower blooms once, it goes on blooming somewhere forever. It blooms on for whoever has seen it blooming.” -William H. Armstrong (William Howard Armstrong (1911 - 1999)): “Sounder” (1969)

“Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns. I am thankful that thorns have roses.” -Alphonse Karr (Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr (1808 - 1890))

“Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food, and medicine to the mind.” -Luther Burbank (1849 - 1926)

“The flower that follows the Sun does so even in cloudy days.” -Robert Leighton (1611 - 1684)

Anthophobia is a persistent fear of flowers, or parts of flowers. It is not difficult to imagine someone having this fear, considering that flowers are associated with bees and commitment. Still, dating someone with anthophobia could save you a lot of money around Valentine’s Day, birthdays, and other holidays. ‘Anthophobia’ is derived from the Greek words ‘anthos’ meaning ‘flower’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’ My, what pretty - and scary - flowers!

Wild Flowers

“Of what are you afraid, my child?” inquired the kindly teacher.
“Oh, sir! The flowers, they are wild,” replied the timid creature.

by Peter Newell (1862 - 1924): “Pictures and Rhymes” (1899)

“The grape Hyacinth is the favorite spring flower of my garden - but no! I though a minute ago the Scilla was! and what place has the Violet? the Flower de Luce? I cannot decide, but this I know - it is some blue flower.” -Alice Morse Earle (1851 - 1911)

“I perhaps owe having become a painter to flowers.” -Claude Monet (Oscar-Claude ‘Claude’ Monet (1840 - 1926))

Flowering plants that need to attract moths for pollination are generally white or pale yellow, to be better seen in dim light. Plants that depend on butterflies for pollination have brightly colored flowers.

“Flowers are happy things.” -P. G. Wodehouse (Pelham Grenville Wodehouse (1881 - 1975))

Merlin: What flower is the happiest?
Mervin: The glad-iola.

“Where flowers bloom so does hope.” -Claudia Alta ‘Lady Bird’ Taylor Johnson (1912 - 2007)

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . now let us tiptoe through the tulips . . . on our way to more ‘making fun of life’ . . .

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Rainbows

6/20/2018

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After the storm comes the rainbow . . .

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow you gotta be willing to put up with the rain.” -Dolly Parton (born 1946)

“A rainbow occurs when it is raining in one part of the sky and sunny in another.” -Author Unknown

Riddle: How did the rainbow know it was lost?
Solution: It was out on a clear day.

Rainbows remained a mystery until the seventeenth century, when scientist René Descartes (1596 - 1650) investigated interactions between light and water, and scientist Isaac Newton (1642 - 1727) determined that white sunlight is a combination of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet light - exactly the colors that make up a rainbow! The wondrous apparitions called rainbows are still objects of fascination to humans.

Sunlight is made of the colors of the rainbow. When the colors are mixed together, it is called white light. White light is the light we commonly see every day.

When all sunlight moves through the air in the same direction, we see white light. When sunlight travels through a raindrop, the colors that the white light is made of separate, creating a rainbow.

Are rainbows natural prisms? What we call rainbows are the visible colors, and the millions of tiny raindrops are each individual natural prisms through which ‘white’ sunlight passes to separate and become the ‘colors of the rainbow.’ Every one of the tiny raindrops makes its own tiny rainbow, but it takes millions of raindrops to make enough color for us to be able to see a rainbow with our eyes.

You can make a rainbow by standing with your back to the Sun and taking a water hose and spraying it in front of you, being sure to keep the Sun behind you. You may also be able to make a rainbow with a spray-nozzle bottle filled with water. Spray water into the air, and watch a rainbow form.

“There can be no rainbow without a cloud and a storm.” -John Heyl Vincent (1832 - 1920)

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Rainbow Song

Red and yellow and pink and green,
Purple and orange and blue.
I can sing a rainbow,
Sing a rainbow,
And you can sing one too!

See with your eyes,
See with your eyes,
And sing everything you see.
You can sing a rainbow,
Sing a rainbow,
Just sing along with me.

Red and yellow and pink and green,
Purple and orange and blue.
You can sing a rainbow,
Sing a rainbow,
And now you’ve sung a rainbow too!

by Author Unknown

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“You’ll never find a rainbow if you’re always looking down.” -Author Unknown

Scientifically explained, a rainbow is an arc of spectral colors that appears in the sky opposite the Sun as a result of refractive dispersion of sunlight in drops of rain.

“It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow.” -Author Unknown

“Rainbows apologize for angry skies.” -Sylvia Voirol (1944 - 2003)

Earth is the only planet in our solar system on which rainbows are possible.

It is believed that rainbows got their name from their shape. Rainbow arcs look similar to a bow for shooting arrows. People also noticed that this colorful arc would only form when it was raining, so they called them rainbows.

When chasing rainbows, there are a few things to keep in mind. For instance, in order to see a rainbow, you must have your back to the Sun. If you face another direction, you will not be able to see it. When standing on the Earth’s surface, rainbows can be seen only in the morning or late afternoon, when the Sun is at less than 40 degrees above the horizon.

When the Sun is low, rainbows will be higher than the Sun in the sky, and when the Sun is high, rainbows will be lower than the Sun in the sky.

On the ground, we see only a semi-circle or arc-shaped rainbow, but from high up, such as when viewed from an airplane, a rainbow appears as a complete circle.

No two people see the same rainbow. A person standing next to you is standing in a slightly different spot and will see the rainbow in a slightly different place. The rainbow may look the same but is different because the person sees different raindrops from a slightly different position and angle.

For those of you who are always chasing rainbows, did you know you can never get to the end of a rainbow, because when you move, the rainbow moves too?

If I traveled to the end of the rainbow
As Dame Fortune did intend,
Murphy would be there to tell me
The pot’s at the other end.
-Bert Whitney

We cannot touch rainbows, because if we attempt to move close enough to touch them, they either move or become no longer visible to us. Thus, the pot of gold said to be at the end of a rainbow is an eternally elusive object, forever and always just beyond reach.

“Leroy bet me I couldn’t find a pot of gold at the end, and I told him that was stupid because the rainbow was enough.” -Rita Mae Brown (born 1944)

Eliot: In addition to a pot of gold, what else can be found at the end of a rainbow?
Eloise: The letter ‘w.’

Sometimes sunlight is reflected twice inside a raindrop. When this occurs, a secondary rainbow, or a double rainbow, is created. The colors of a secondary or double rainbow are in opposite order of the primary or first rainbow. Violet will show at the top of a secondary rainbow rather than red.

“I do set My rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be for the sign of a covenant between Me and the earth.” -“The Bible” (NKJV), ‘Genesis,’ chapter 9, verse 13

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Rainbows

Rainbows appear after mighty storms,
     when things look their very worst.
Just when the skies are darkest gray,
     look for the rainbow first.

The rainbow is a sign of God’s promise,
     that He will guide us
through all our troubles,
     no matter what their form.

When you feel battered by life’s storms,
     and you are filled with doubt and dismay;
just remember God’s rainbow is coming,
     it’s only a prayer away.

by B. J. Morbitzer

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“Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms.” -Alyssa Knight, age 12

Rainbows are more common in warm tropical locations and near waterfalls, where the water content of the air is higher, especially as a mist or a fine, light rain.

Rainbows are rare in winter and in cold climates, because during these conditions, water in the air usually freezes into tiny ice crystals, called snowflakes, rather than becoming raindrops. However, during cold weather, upside down rainbows, also known as ‘sun smiles’ or circumzenithal arcs, occasionally form when sunlight reflects through ice crystals that are suspended, or floating, in the atmosphere.

What is a ‘night rainbow’? Moonbows, or lunar rainbows, occur when the Moon’s light reflects through raindrops. Night rainbows are rare because the Moon’s light is usually not bright enough for a rainbow to appear.

Rainbow to Windward

Rainbow to windward,
Foul fall the day.
Rainbow to leeward,
Rain runs away.

-Author Unknown: weather lore for sailors

The colors of the rainbow are Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, and Violet. An easy way to remember the colors of the rainbow is with the acronymic mnemonic ROY G. BIV. An acronym is a word typically formed from the initial, or first, letters of words, and a mnemonic is a method that aids in the memorization of information.

Who is Roy G. Biv? Hello, allow me to introduce myself. My name is ROY G. BIV. I am here to help you remember the colors of the rainbow. I am an acronym, and so each letter in my name stands for one of the colors found in a rainbow, like the colorful rainbow shown above. R is for Red, O is for Orange, Y is for Yellow, G is for Green, B is for Blue, I is for Indigo, and V is for Violet. So that’s me, ROY G. BIV.

ROY G. BIV

ROY G. BIV is
An odd name for a fellow
But what his name means is
Red, Orange, Yellow
The G is for Green
Which as you may know
Comes right in the middle
Of every rainbow.
Next come Blue and Indigo
More pale than dark
Then V for Violet -
And that completes the arc.

by Author Unknown

Fun fact: The word 'rainbow' has 7 letters in it, and a rainbow has 7 colors in it.

“May your skies be always filled with great and glorious rainbows.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Rainbows Quiz
- Is a rainbow a spectrum of light that appears when the Sun shines on water droplets in the air?
- How many colors are commonly recognized as being in a rainbow?
- What are the colors of the rainbow?

“We may run, walk, stumble, drive, or fly, but let us never lose sight of the reason for the journey, or miss a chance to see a rainbow on the way.” -Gloria Gaither

Rainbows Quiz Answers
- A rainbow can be described as a spectrum of light that appears when the Sun shines on water droplets in the air.
- Rainbows have seven commonly recognized colors.
- The colors of the rainbow are red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet.

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . wishing you rainbow skies forever . . .

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Questions and Queries

6/16/2018

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Where did you get that big, beautiful smile?

How can I get people to like me?

If you were to be trapped in a television show forever, which show would you choose?

Aren’t you just the cutest thing?

If you were a robot but did not know it, would you want people to tell you?

“Why is this thus? What is the reason of this thusness?” -Artemus Ward (Charles Farrar Browne (1834 - 1867)): “Artemus Ward’s Lecture” (1869), ‘Mr. Heber C. Kimball’s Harem’

Why do we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

How can you know what you think until you speak so that you can hear what you have to say?

“It’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

If you were on the second floor of a three-story building, would you not be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?

Would you tell me a true thing?

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

If we can make semi-conductors, why can we not make complete conductors?

What is the speed of dark?

Why are violets blue and not violet?

Do you realize just how many holes there could be in the ground if people like you would just take the time to get a shovel and dig the dirt out of them?

What could possibly go wrong?

Why do British people not sound British when they sing?

Should Friday the 13th be made into a holiday?

If a chameleon was placed in a mirrored box, what color would it be - clear?

Why is it that when you walk up the stairs and you get to the top, you always think there is still one more step?

Is there a butterscotch flavored soft drink?

Can you make another word using all the letters in ‘anagram’?

Is there something else you should be doing right now?

Does it seem that some people specialize in turning positives into negatives?

What did moths congregate around before campfires, torches, and light bulbs were invented?

Does killing time damage eternity?

Can we spell creativity any way we want to?

How old were you when you were born?

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

Do some people have a condition that makes it difficult for them to remember the good things that happen and easy to remember the bad things that happen?

Why is a square meal served on a round plate?

If you could have picked your own name, what would it be?

What do penguins wear for play clothes?

Have you noticed that since everyone has a camcorder and cell phone with a built-in camera these days, no one talks about seeing UFO’s and monsters and ghosts like they used to?

Who wants to go outside and play?

Is there mouse-flavored cat food?

What are male ladybugs called?

How can you tell when it is time to tune your bagpipes?

If you joined the circus, what kind of performer would you want to be?

Why don’t they call mustaches “mouthbrows?”

What do you think is the right age for marriage and why?

Whether you need the answer to a serious question or a silly question, call 1-334-844-4244 to reach the Foy Information Line at Auburn University in Auburn, Alabama, United States of America. The service is staffed by students, who try to answer questions on any subject, and is available during the school year, 24 hours a day Monday through Thursday and until 9:00 p.m. Friday through Sunday. Be sure to tell them you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

What are humans?

Since there is a speed of light and a speed of sound, is there a speed of smell and a speed of taste?

What’s next?

Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?

Are we ever going to make it up this hill?

An average four-year-old child asks 437 questions a day. Have you asked even one question today?

Do you have all of your ducks in a row?

What are male ballerinas called?

“He who asks a question may be a fool for five minutes, but he who never asks a question remains a fool forever.” -Tom J. Connelly

What would love do now?

How many days are in a light year?

Are adults just older children?

Can you name something that is not weird, odd, or unusual?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alex?
Alex, who?
Alex the questions around here!

Why hasn’t someone invented a bed that makes itself yet?

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

Question Everything.

Why do people go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?

Teacher: What if this was not a rhetorical question?
Student: What if this was not a hypothetical situation?

What do you like to do for fun?

A year from now, what will you wish you had done today?

“The word ‘question’ originates from the Latin root ‘quaestio’ meaning ‘to seek.’ Inside the word ‘question’ is the word ‘quest,’ suggesting that within every question is an adventure, a pursuit which can lead us to hidden treasure.” -Tom Wujec: “Five Star Mind” (1995)

Since we have kneecaps, why do we not have elbowcaps to protect our funny bones?

“If not you who? If not now when?” -Garry Herbert

How fast do you have to go to keep up with the Sun so that you are never in darkness?

“There are no foolish questions and no man becomes a fool until he has stopped asking questions.” -Charles Steinmetz (Charles Proteus Steinmetz (1865 - 1923))

If you could be any kind of animal, what would you want to be and why?

Are there legitimate ways to earn money online?

“Asking silly questions now is better than correcting serious mistakes later.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Why is there one in every crowd?

If life is so wonderful and exciting and full of interesting people and places and things, then why are we all by ourselves looking at the screens of our electronic devices?

At the end of the day, are you better off than you were at the start of the day?

When a word is erased with a pencil eraser, where does the word go?

Who has been the biggest influence on your life?

Why do we believe everything we see on the internet but question what The Bible says?

What is your favorite work of art?

Which is a sign of higher intelligence, asking questions, or not asking questions?

What kind of place is this?

Which do you like more: scary movies, romantic movies, or comedy movies?

Why does this keep happening?

“Bromidic though it may sound, some questions don’t have answers, which is a terribly difficult lesson to learn.” -Katharine Graham (1917 - 2001)

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

What is the best advice you ever received?

Would you rather go shopping or sightseeing, and why?

If a thousand seagulls were in an airplane while it was flying, with each bird weighing two pounds, and all of them flying around inside the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2,000 pounds more?

Do you play a musical instrument?

If you could go back in time and speak to your younger self, what age would you choose and what would you say?

Why do we say an alarm is going off when it is actually turning on?

Would we all be better off if we refused to accept anything that was offered to us for free?

What is your favorite song?

“You’ve got to ask! Asking is, in my opinion, the world’s most powerful - and neglected - secret to success and happiness.” -Percy Ross

Who is the funniest person in the world?

What things do you always carry with you in your pocket, purse, or wallet?

What just happened?

If the Universe is expanding, why are parking spaces still so hard to find?

“If water had a flavor, what color would it sound like?” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

What do you think is beyond the stars?

Wow, those were some challenging and difficult questions! Fortunately, the topic that follows below this one is much easier . . .

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Appearances and Looks

6/13/2018

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“A beautiful thing is never perfect.” -Author Unknown

“Won’t you come into my garden? I would like my roses to see you.” -Richard B. Sheridan (Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751 - 1816))

“Beauty is a mystery. You can neither eat it nor make flannel out of it.” -David Herbert Lawrence (1885 - 1930)

“I used to be very self-conscious. I used to wish I was pretty. My cousin Georgia always taught me that if you smile, people will like you. Sometimes people will say something you don’t like, and you get angry a bit, but you just smile. You let it go by, even if you really would like to choke ‘em. By smiling, I think I’ve made more friends than if I was the other way.” -Ella Fitzgerald (1918 - 1996)

Keep up appearances; there lies the test;
The world will give thee credit for the rest.
-Charles Churchill (1731 - 1764): “Night” (1761), lines 311 and 312

“Some of the most beautiful women I have ever met tell me, ‘I hate myself when I look in the mirror.’ I hear that again and again” -Henry Miller (1891 - 1980)

“First impressions are the most lasting.” -Jonas Hanway (1712 - 1786): “A Journal of Eight Days Journey” (1756)

“A plain face is often surprisingly beautiful by reason of an inner light.” -Henry E. Walbery

“Real beauty isn’t about symmetry or weight or makeup; it’s about looking life right in the face and seeing all its magnificence reflected in your own.” -Valerie Monroe

“Some of you may feel that you are not as attractive and beautiful and glamorous as you would like to be. Rise above any such feelings, cultivate the light you have within you, and it will shine through as a radiant expression that will be seen by others.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Do not judge others by appearances; a rich heart may be under a poor coat.” -Author Unknown: Scottish proverb

“Physical differences are what make it possible for our friends to find us in a crowd.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Beauty isn’t about having a pretty face. It’s about having a pretty mind, pretty heart, and a pretty soul.” -Author Unknown

Beauty to no complexion is confined,
Is of all colors, and by none defined.
-George Granville

“Beauty isn’t something on the outside. It’s your insides that count! You gotta eat green stuff to make sure you’re pretty on the inside.” -Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka, and Toshihiro Kawabata in “Animal Crossing: Wild World” (2005)

Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a body image condition that causes some people to imagine they presently have, or will later develop, physical deformities. Most people with the condition are not all that different from other people in appearance; it is just that their perception of themselves is erroneously distorted by inner or outer influences. BDD is also known by the term ‘dysmorphophobia,’ which is derived from the Greek words ‘dys’ meaning ‘abnormal,’ ‘morphe’ meaning ‘form,’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’ The good news is that the condition can be treated through therapeutic psychological counseling and by other methods.

“There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): “Essays” (1625), ‘Of Beauty’

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
the passion that she knows.
-Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

“The beauty does not live out there; the beauty’s in my eyes.” -Jonathan Lockwood Huie (born 1945)

He: My, what lovely eyes you have!
She: I am glad you like them. They were a birthday present.

“Do not judge men by mere appearances; for the light laughter that bubbles on the lip often mantles over the depths of sadness, and the serious look may be the sober veil that covers a divine peace and joy. The bosom can ache beneath diamond brooches; and many a blithe heart dances under coarse wool.” -E. H. Chapin (Edwin Hubbell Chapin (1814 - 1880))

She is not fair to outward view
As many maidens be;
Her loveliness I never knew
Until she smiled on me:
Oh! then I saw her eye was bright,
A well of love, a spring of light.
-Hartley Coleridge (David Hartley ‘Hartley’ Coleridge (1796 - 1849)): “Poems” (1851), ‘She Is Not Fair’

“I am not beautiful like you. I am beautiful like me.” -Author Unknown

Who is that pretty lady?

Her very frowns are fairer far
Than smiles of other maidens are.
-Hartley Coleridge (David Hartley ‘Hartley’ Coleridge (1796 - 1849)): “Poems” (1851), ‘She Is Not Fair’

“You know who’s beautiful? Read this first word.” -Author Unknown

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The Ugly Duckling Syndrome

“The Ugly Duckling” is a story about someone who was not really ugly at all; he was just different. The other ducks teased and pecked at him with their beaks until the ugly duckling flew away. He wandered around for a year, and was treated as an outcast everywhere. In the Spring, he saw a group of swans on a lake, and wanted very much to join them. As he swam out toward them, he was astounded to notice his reflection in the water - he was a swan! The other swans welcomed him warmly, and found him to be beautiful.

Like many fairy tales, “The Ugly Duckling” was created with a lesson, or moral, in mind, if we will listen or read with the idea of finding it.

Most of us go through times when we feel different from those around us. These can be painful and lonely times, but it does not mean there is anything wrong with us. Like the ugly duckling, we will come into a time and place when we will be loved. All the pain and loneliness we have felt will one day be a fading memory.

“I never dreamed of so much happiness when I was the ugly duckling.” -Hans Christian Andersen (1805 - 1875): “The Ugly Duckling” (11 November 1843)

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“I used to look in the mirror and feel shame; I look in the mirror now and I absolutely love myself.” -Drew Barrymore (born 1975)

“To all the girls who think they’re fat because they’re not a size zero, you’re the beautiful ones; it’s society who’s ugly.” -Marilyn Monroe (Norma Jean Mortenson (1926 - 1962))

“Appearances often deceive.” -Author Unknown: English saying

“It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910)): “The Kreutzer Sonata” (1889)

“Trust not too much to an enchanting face.” -Vergil (Publius Vergilius Maro, also known as Virgil (70 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.))

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” -Margaret Wolfe Hungerford (1855 - 1897): “Molly Bawn” (1878)

“The beauty seen is partly in him who sees it.” -Christian Bovee (Christian Nestell Bovee (1820 - 1904))

“Common-looking people are the best in the world. That is the reason the Lord made so many of them.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.” -Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972)

“Beauty is the promise of happiness.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

“Remember, the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless: peacocks and lilies, for instance.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900): “The Stones of Venice” (1851)

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” -Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990)

“I cannot tell you how many times people have come up to me to compliment me on my lavish figure.” -Miss Piggy, as quoted in Henry Beard: “Miss Piggy’s Guide to Life” (1981)

“No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“It is the common wonder of all men, how among so many millions of faces there should be none alike.” -Thomas Browne (1605 - 1682): “Religio Medici” (1643), Part II, Section 2

The above artwork is available in different sizes, starting at a thickness of 0.3175 centimeters (1/8th inch or 0.125 inches), precision laser-cut from Baltic Birch plywood. For details, click on The Wooden Hare.

“Always try to look your best, because you never get a second chance to make a first impression, and first impressions are lasting impressions.” -Author Unknown

“Beauty starts in your head, not in your mirror.” -Joubert Botha

“A woman deserves no credit for her beauty at twenty, but at sixty, her beauty is of her own doing.” -Author Unknown

O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
-Robert Burns (1759 - 1796): “To a Louse” (1786)

In Standard English, the above lines would be as follows:
And would some Power the small gift give us
To see ourselves as others see us!

“There are no ugly women, there are women who do not know how to look pretty.” -Jean de La Bruyère (1645 - 1696)

“To keep your good looks, you should smile often, because every 2,000 frowns on your face create one wrinkle.” -Author Unknown

“Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.” -Hedy Lamarr (Hedwig Eva Maria Kiesler (1914 - 2000))

“Beware so long as you live, of judging people by appearances.” -Jean de La Fontaine (1621 - 1695)

Never judge someone
By the way he looks
Or a book by the way it’s covered;
For inside those tattered pages,
There’s a lot to be discovered
-Stephen Cosgrove (born 1945)

“If being beautiful in the eyes of the Creator means being ugly in the eyes of the created, then it’s worth it.” -Author Unknown

“You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older.” -Anouk Aimee

“The appearances of things change according to the emotions and thus we see magic and beauty in them, while the magic and beauty are really in ourselves.” -Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)

“Outer beauty pleases the eye. Inner beauty captivates the heart.” -Mandy Hale (born 1978): “The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass” (2013)

Appearances and Looks Quiz
- What is the meaning of the word ‘beauty’?
- What is the meaning of the phrase ‘inner beauty’?
- Why might you not want to answer your door dressed and groomed sloppily?

“I’m beautiful in my own way because God makes no mistakes.” -Author Unknown

Appearances and Looks Quiz Answers
- Beauty is the quality of being pleasing to the mind.
- Inner beauties are virtues such as goodness, politeness, and caring.
- Always answer the door dressed and groomed well, because you never know when you might be greeting the Queen or the President.

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” -Confucius (K’ung Fu-tzu or K’ung Ch’iu (about 551 B.C.E. - about 479 B.C.E.))

“I am, as I am; whether hideous, or handsome, depends upon who is made judge.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)

“Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them.” -David Hume (1711 - 1776)

People who are ‘animated’ are more attractive.

“It’s not the face, but the expressions on it. It’s not the voice, but what you say. It’s not how you look in that body, but the thing you do with it. You are beautiful.” -Stephenie Meyer (born 1973): “The Host” (6 May 2008)

“That’s the thing about inner beauty: Unlike physical beauty, which grabs the spotlight for itself, inner beauty shines on everyone, catching them, holding them in its embrace, making them more beautiful too.” -Author Unknown

“Anyone is automatically a lot more attractive when they’re funny.” -Author Unknown

The folks at the ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ Website hope you will laugh a little more, learn a little more, and love life a little more . . . each day - we just want you to be happy.

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Problems and Solutions

6/9/2018

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“The next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))

“A problem well stated is a problem half-solved.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.” -Maya Angelou (born Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

“The best angle to approach a problem is from the try angle.” -Author Unknown

“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.” -Duke Ellington (1899 - 1974)

“What a pity human beings can’t exchange problems. Everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellow’s.” -Olin Miller (1918 - 2002)

“All life is problem solving.” -Karl Popper (1902 - 1994)

“Every big problem was at one time a wee little disturbance.” -Author Unknown

“The easiest way to solve a problem is to pick an easy one.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980))

“Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.” -Paul Erdos (1913 - 1996)

“The solution of every problem is another problem.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

Overheard: Everything is figureoutable.

“The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution.” -Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)

“I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated.” -Paul Anderson

“Discovery of a solution consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else and thinking something different.” -Albert Szent-Györgyi (1893 - 1986)

“A feeling of confidence and personal power comes from facing challenges and overcoming them.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Problems are the price of success.” -Branch Rickey (Wesley Branch Rickey (1881 - 1965))

“. . . so it will be forever; that after every storm the Sun will smile, for every problem there is a solution, and that the soul’s indefeasible duty is to be of good cheer . . .” -William R. Alger (William Rounseville Alger (1822 - 1905)): “The School of Life” (1881), ‘Lesson of Faith,’ page 71

“It’s not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.” -Ashleigh Brilliant (Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant (born 1933))

“It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it.” -John Steinbeck (John Ernst Steinbeck, Junior (1902 - 1968))

“No problem can be solved until it is reduced to some simple form. The changing of a vague difficulty into a specific, concrete form is a very essential element in thinking.” -J. P. Morgan (John Pierpont ‘J. P.’ Morgan (1837 - 1913))

“There are as many solutions as there are human beings.” -George Tooker (George Clair Tooker, Junior (1920 - 2011))

“It is no good getting furious if you get stuck. What I do is keep thinking about the problem but work on something else. Sometimes it is years before I see the way forward. In the case of information loss and black holes, it was 29 years.” -Stephen Hawking (Stephen William Hawking (1942 - 2018))

“‘We have a problem.’ ‘Congratulations.’ ‘But it’s a tough problem.’ ‘Then double congratulations.’” -W. Clement Stone (William Clement Stone (1902 - 2002))

“The one common challenge of all humanity is the challenge of problems.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“After every difficulty, ask yourself two questions: ‘What did I do right?’ and ‘What would I do differently?’” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys.” -Author Unknown

“Your problems aren’t going to solve themselves, you know.” -Author Unknown

“Focus on remedies, not faults.” -Jack Nicklaus (born 1940)

“Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” -Joshua J. Marine

“All problems become smaller if you don’t dodge them, but confront them.” -William F. Halsey (William Frederick ‘Bull’ Halsey, Junior (1882 - 1959))

“This problem, too, will look simple after it is solved.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“We will find the solution . . . together.” -Author Unknown

A mollusk has an elegant solution to a problem. When something irritates the lining of its shell, the mollusk responds by coating the irritant in a layer of the same material as the inside of its shell, commonly referred to as mother of pearl. The result is often the highly sought-after shiny smooth hard round object called a pearl. The problem is an irritant such as a grain of sand; the solution is a pearl. Does the mollusk teach us a lesson for dealing with problems?

“An expert problem solver must be endowed with two incompatible qualities - a restless imagination and a patient pertinacity.” -Howard W. Eves (Howard Whitley Eves (1911 - 2004))

“Do not be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.” -Earl Shoaff (John Earl Shoaff (1916 - 1965))

“You are the only problem you will ever have and you are the only solution.” -Bob Proctor (born 1934)

“A small trouble is like a pebble. Hold it too close to your eye, and it puts everything out of focus. Hold it at proper viewing distance, and it can be examined and classified. Throw it at your feet, and it can be seen in its true setting, just one more tiny bump on the pathway to eternity.” -Celia Luce (Celia Larsen Luce (1914 - 2008))

“Nobody, as long as he moves among the chaotic currents of life, is without trouble.” -C. G. Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961))

“The best way to escape from your problem is to solve it.” -Robert Anthony Eden (1897 - 1977)

“Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.” -René Descartes (1596 - 1650): “Discours de la Methode” (1637)

“Beset by a difficult problem? Now is your chance to shine. Pick yourself up, get to work, and get triumphantly through it.” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955))

“There are no problems, just challenges.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t tell me that this problem is difficult. If it wasn’t difficult, it wouldn’t be a problem.” [English translation]
“Ne me dites pas que ce problème est difficile. S’il n’était pas difficile, ce ne serait pas un problème.” [original French]
-Ferdinand Foch (Ferdinand Jean Marie Foch (1851 - 1929))

“Avoid problems, and you’ll never be the one who overcame them.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” -Theodore Rubin (Theodore Isaac Rubin (born 1923))

Overheard: All of the easy problems have already been solved.

“It’s good to remember that the tea kettle, although up to its neck in hot water, continues to sing.” -Author Unknown

“Focus on the solution, not the problem.” -Walter Anderson

“Every problem contains within itself the seeds of its own solution.” -Stanley Arnold

“A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talked to each other instead of about each other.” -Author Unknown

“When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“It isn’t that they can’t see the solution. It is that they can’t see the problem.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936))

“When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail.” -Abraham Maslow (Abraham Harold Maslow (1908 - 1970)): “The Psychology of Science” (1966)

“Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.” -Henry J. Kaiser (Henry John Kaiser (1882 - 1967))

“Nothing lasts forever - not even your troubles.” -Arnold Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“No problem is so complicated that you cannot make it more complicated.” -Andy Grove (Andrew Stephen ‘Andy’ Grove (1936 - 2016))

“There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. We seek out problems because we need their gifts.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.” -Denis Waitley (born 1933)

“Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.” -Alan Watts (Alan Wilson Watts (1915 - 1973))

Problems worthy of attack
prove their worth by hitting back.
-Piet Hein (1905 - 1996)

“Whenever we have a really difficult or impossible problem in life, we should take it to a math teacher. Math teachers are good at giving problems to us, and they are good at showing us how to solve them, as well.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“The issue is not that our problems are too big but that our imaginations are too small.” -Marianne Williamson (born 1952)

“It often happens that I wake at night and begin to think about a serious problem and decide I must tell the Pope about it. Then I wake up completely and remember that I am the Pope.” -Pope John XXIII (born Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli (1881 - 1963))

“Problems are to the mind what exercise is to the muscles, they toughen and make strong.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“The first requisite for success is the ability to apply your physical and mental energies to one problem incessantly without growing weary.” -Herbert Spencer (1820 - 1903)

“The ‘how’ thinker gets problems solved effectively because he wastes no time with futile ‘ifs.’” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.” -Theodore N. Vail (Theodore Newton Vail (1845 - 1920))

“I am so grateful for my troubles. As I reflect back on my life, I have come to realize that my greatest triumphs have been born of my greatest troubles.” -Steve Maraboli (born 1975): “Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience” (2013)

“No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“To solve a problem, walk around.” -Jerome (also known as Eusebius Sophronius Hieronymus (about C.E. 347 - C.E. 420))

“Divide each difficulty into as many parts as necessary to resolve it.” -René Descartes (1596 - 1650)

“The first step towards the solution of any problem is optimism.” -John Baines

“Never make troubles of trifles.” -Author Unknown

“When I’m working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“Trouble is My Business.” -Raymond Chandler (1888 - 1959): title of article in “Dime Detective Magazine” (August 1939), and the credo of his fictional detective Philip Marlowe

“Problems are questions that ask, ‘How can you best handle us?’” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“The most important thing to do in solving a problem is to begin.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . may all of your problems be funny ones . . . and may all of your solutions be fun . . .

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