Fun & Learning

It Takes Some Getting Used To

6/21/2018

Sure, it takes some getting used to, when you have prehistoric cave dwellers working in your organization . . . but because they will work enthusiastically for just the stale candy left over from the holidays of the past several years, we are able to continue to bring the high quality ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ Website to an electronic device near you, at minimal cost.

If you came here looking for fun, you are in the right place . . . just travel down this page, skipping the topics that may not interest you, until you come to the ones that appeal to you. When you have a moment, be sure to explore some of the other pages on the website, such as the ‘Library’ and the ‘Inspiration’ pages, which can be viewed by clicking on the menu bar above.

Welcome to ‘MFOL!’

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Rainbows

6/20/2018

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After the storm comes the rainbow . . .

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow you gotta be willing to put up with the rain.” -Dolly Parton (born 1946)

“A rainbow occurs when it is raining in one part of the sky and sunny in another.” -Author Unknown

Riddle: How did the rainbow know it was lost?
Solution: It was out on a clear day.

Rainbows remained a mystery until the seventeenth century, when scientist René Descartes (1596 - 1650) investigated interactions between light and water, and scientist Isaac Newton (1642 - 1727) determined that white sunlight is a combination of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet light - exactly the colors that make up a rainbow! The wondrous apparitions called rainbows are still objects of fascination to humans.

Sunlight is made of the colors of the rainbow. When the colors are mixed together, it is called white light. White light is the light we commonly see every day.

When all sunlight moves through the air in the same direction, we see white light. When sunlight travels through a raindrop, the colors that the white light is made of separate, creating a rainbow.

Are rainbows natural prisms? What we call rainbows are the visible colors, and the millions of tiny raindrops are each individual natural prisms through which ‘white’ sunlight passes to separate and become the ‘colors of the rainbow.’ Every one of the tiny raindrops makes its own tiny rainbow, but it takes millions of raindrops to make enough color for us to be able to see a rainbow with our eyes.

You can make a rainbow by standing with your back to the Sun and taking a water hose and spraying it in front of you, being sure to keep the Sun behind you. You may also be able to make a rainbow with a spray-nozzle bottle filled with water. Spray water into the air, and watch a rainbow form.

“There can be no rainbow without a cloud and a storm.” -John Heyl Vincent (1832 - 1920)

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Rainbow Song

Red and yellow and pink and green,
Purple and orange and blue.
I can sing a rainbow,
Sing a rainbow,
And you can sing one too!

See with your eyes,
See with your eyes,
And sing everything you see.
You can sing a rainbow,
Sing a rainbow,
Just sing along with me.

Red and yellow and pink and green,
Purple and orange and blue.
You can sing a rainbow,
Sing a rainbow,
And now you’ve sung a rainbow too!

by Author Unknown

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“You’ll never find a rainbow if you’re always looking down.” -Author Unknown

Scientifically explained, a rainbow is an arc of spectral colors that appears in the sky opposite the Sun as a result of refractive dispersion of sunlight in drops of rain.

“It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow.” -Author Unknown

“Rainbows apologize for angry skies.” -Sylvia Voirol (1944 - 2003)

Earth is the only planet in our solar system on which rainbows are possible.

It is believed that rainbows got their name from their shape. Rainbow arcs look similar to a bow for shooting arrows. People also noticed that this colorful arc would only form when it was raining, so they called them rainbows.

When chasing rainbows, there are a few things to keep in mind. For instance, in order to see a rainbow, you must have your back to the Sun. If you face another direction, you will not be able to see it. When standing on the Earth’s surface, rainbows can be seen only in the morning or late afternoon, when the Sun is at less than 40 degrees above the horizon.

When the Sun is low, rainbows will be higher than the Sun in the sky, and when the Sun is high, rainbows will be lower than the Sun in the sky.

On the ground, we see only a semi-circle or arc-shaped rainbow, but from high up, such as when viewed from an airplane, a rainbow appears as a complete circle.

No two people see the same rainbow. A person standing next to you is standing in a slightly different spot and will see the rainbow in a slightly different place. The rainbow may look the same but is different because the person sees different raindrops from a slightly different position and angle.

For those of you who are always chasing rainbows, did you know you can never get to the end of a rainbow, because when you move, the rainbow moves too?

If I traveled to the end of the rainbow
As Dame Fortune did intend,
Murphy would be there to tell me
The pot’s at the other end.
-Bert Whitney

We cannot touch rainbows, because if we attempt to move close enough to touch them, they either move or become no longer visible to us. Thus, the pot of gold said to be at the end of a rainbow is an eternally elusive object, forever and always just beyond reach.

“Leroy bet me I couldn’t find a pot of gold at the end, and I told him that was stupid because the rainbow was enough.” -Rita Mae Brown (born 1944)

Eliot: In addition to a pot of gold, what else can be found at the end of a rainbow?
Eloise: The letter ‘w.’

Sometimes sunlight is reflected twice inside a raindrop. When this occurs, a secondary rainbow, or a double rainbow, is created. The colors of a secondary or double rainbow are in opposite order of the primary or first rainbow. Violet will show at the top of a secondary rainbow rather than red.

“I do set My rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be for the sign of a covenant between Me and the earth.” -“The Bible” (NKJV), ‘Genesis,’ chapter 9, verse 13

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Rainbows

Rainbows appear after mighty storms,
     when things look their very worst.
Just when the skies are darkest gray,
     look for the rainbow first.

The rainbow is a sign of God’s promise,
     that He will guide us
through all our troubles,
     no matter what their form.

When you feel battered by life’s storms,
     and you are filled with doubt and dismay;
just remember God’s rainbow is coming,
     it’s only a prayer away.

by B. J. Morbitzer

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“Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms.” -Alyssa Knight, age 12

Rainbows are more common in warm tropical locations and near waterfalls, where the water content of the air is higher, especially as a mist or a fine, light rain.

Rainbows are rare in winter and in cold climates, because during these conditions, water in the air usually freezes into tiny ice crystals, called snowflakes, rather than becoming raindrops. However, during cold weather, upside down rainbows, also known as ‘sun smiles’ or circumzenithal arcs, occasionally form when sunlight reflects through ice crystals that are suspended, or floating, in the atmosphere.

What is a ‘night rainbow’? Moonbows, or lunar rainbows, occur when the Moon’s light reflects through raindrops. Night rainbows are rare because the Moon’s light is usually not bright enough for a rainbow to appear.

Rainbow to Windward

Rainbow to windward,
Foul fall the day.
Rainbow to leeward,
Rain runs away.

-Author Unknown: weather lore for sailors

The colors of the rainbow are Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, and Violet. An easy way to remember the colors of the rainbow is with the acronymic mnemonic ROY G. BIV. An acronym is a word typically formed from the initial, or first, letters of words, and a mnemonic is a method that aids in the memorization of information.

Who is Roy G. Biv? Hello, allow me to introduce myself. My name is ROY G. BIV. I am here to help you remember the colors of the rainbow. I am an acronym, and so each letter in my name stands for one of the colors found in a rainbow, like the colorful rainbow shown above. R is for Red, O is for Orange, Y is for Yellow, G is for Green, B is for Blue, I is for Indigo, and V is for Violet. So that’s me, ROY G. BIV.

ROY G. BIV

ROY G. BIV is
An odd name for a fellow
But what his name means is
Red, Orange, Yellow
The G is for Green
Which as you may know
Comes right in the middle
Of every rainbow.
Next come Blue and Indigo
More pale than dark
Then V for Violet -
And that completes the arc.

by Author Unknown

Fun fact: The word 'rainbow' has 7 letters in it, and a rainbow has 7 colors in it.

“May your skies be always filled with great and glorious rainbows.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Rainbows Quiz
- Is a rainbow a spectrum of light that appears when the Sun shines on water droplets in the air?
- How many colors are commonly recognized as being in a rainbow?
- What are the colors of the rainbow?

“We may run, walk, stumble, drive, or fly, but let us never lose sight of the reason for the journey, or miss a chance to see a rainbow on the way.” -Gloria Gaither

Rainbows Quiz Answers
- A rainbow can be described as a spectrum of light that appears when the Sun shines on water droplets in the air.
- Rainbows have seven commonly recognized colors.
- The colors of the rainbow are red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet.

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . wishing you rainbow skies forever . . .

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Questions and Queries

6/16/2018

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Where did you get that big, beautiful smile?

How can I get people to like me?

If you were to be trapped in a television show forever, which show would you choose?

Aren’t you just the cutest thing?

If you were a robot but did not know it, would you want people to tell you?

“Why is this thus? What is the reason of this thusness?” -Artemus Ward (Charles Farrar Browne (1834 - 1867)): “Artemus Ward’s Lecture” (1869), ‘Mr. Heber C. Kimball’s Harem’

Why do we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

How can you know what you think until you speak so that you can hear what you have to say?

“It’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

If you were on the second floor of a three-story building, would you not be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?

Would you tell me a true thing?

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

If we can make semi-conductors, why can we not make complete conductors?

What is the speed of dark?

Why are violets blue and not violet?

Do you realize just how many holes there could be in the ground if people like you would just take the time to get a shovel and dig the dirt out of them?

What could possibly go wrong?

Why do British people not sound British when they sing?

Should Friday the 13th be made into a holiday?

If a chameleon was placed in a mirrored box, what color would it be - clear?

Why is it that when you walk up the stairs and you get to the top, you always think there is still one more step?

Is there a butterscotch flavored soft drink?

Can you make another word using all the letters in ‘anagram’?

Is there something else you should be doing right now?

Does it seem that some people specialize in turning positives into negatives?

What did moths congregate around before campfires, torches, and light bulbs were invented?

Does killing time damage eternity?

Can we spell creativity any way we want to?

How old were you when you were born?

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

Do some people have a condition that makes it difficult for them to remember the good things that happen and easy to remember the bad things that happen?

Why is a square meal served on a round plate?

If you could have picked your own name, what would it be?

What do penguins wear for play clothes?

Have you noticed that since everyone has a camcorder and cell phone with a built-in camera these days, no one talks about seeing UFO’s and monsters and ghosts like they used to?

Who wants to go outside and play?

Is there mouse-flavored cat food?

What are male ladybugs called?

How can you tell when it is time to tune your bagpipes?

If you joined the circus, what kind of performer would you want to be?

Why don’t they call mustaches “mouthbrows?”

What do you think is the right age for marriage and why?

Whether you need the answer to a serious question or a silly question, call 1-334-844-4244 to reach the Foy Information Line at Auburn University in Auburn, Alabama, United States of America. The service is staffed by students, who try to answer questions on any subject, and is available during the school year, 24 hours a day Monday through Thursday and until 9:00 p.m. Friday through Sunday. Be sure to tell them you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

What are humans?

Since there is a speed of light and a speed of sound, is there a speed of smell and a speed of taste?

What’s next?

Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?

Are we ever going to make it up this hill?

An average four-year-old child asks 437 questions a day. Have you asked even one question today?

Do you have all of your ducks in a row?

What are male ballerinas called?

“He who asks a question may be a fool for five minutes, but he who never asks a question remains a fool forever.” -Tom J. Connelly

What would love do now?

How many days are in a light year?

Are adults just older children?

Can you name something that is not weird, odd, or unusual?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alex?
Alex, who?
Alex the questions around here!

Why hasn’t someone invented a bed that makes itself yet?

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

Question Everything.

Why do people go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?

Teacher: What if this was not a rhetorical question?
Student: What if this was not a hypothetical situation?

What do you like to do for fun?

A year from now, what will you wish you had done today?

“The word ‘question’ originates from the Latin root ‘quaestio’ meaning ‘to seek.’ Inside the word ‘question’ is the word ‘quest,’ suggesting that within every question is an adventure, a pursuit which can lead us to hidden treasure.” -Tom Wujec: “Five Star Mind” (1995)

Since we have kneecaps, why do we not have elbowcaps to protect our funny bones?

“If not you who? If not now when?” -Garry Herbert

How fast do you have to go to keep up with the Sun so that you are never in darkness?

“There are no foolish questions and no man becomes a fool until he has stopped asking questions.” -Charles Steinmetz (Charles Proteus Steinmetz (1865 - 1923))

If you could be any kind of animal, what would you want to be and why?

Are there legitimate ways to earn money online?

“Asking silly questions now is better than correcting serious mistakes later.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Why is there one in every crowd?

If life is so wonderful and exciting and full of interesting people and places and things, then why are we all by ourselves looking at the screens of our electronic devices?

At the end of the day, are you better off than you were at the start of the day?

When a word is erased with a pencil eraser, where does the word go?

Who has been the biggest influence on your life?

Why do we believe everything we see on the internet but question what The Bible says?

What is your favorite work of art?

Which is a sign of higher intelligence, asking questions, or not asking questions?

What kind of place is this?

Which do you like more: scary movies, romantic movies, or comedy movies?

Why does this keep happening?

“Bromidic though it may sound, some questions don’t have answers, which is a terribly difficult lesson to learn.” -Katharine Graham (1917 - 2001)

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

What is the best advice you ever received?

Would you rather go shopping or sightseeing, and why?

If a thousand seagulls were in an airplane while it was flying, with each bird weighing two pounds, and all of them flying around inside the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2,000 pounds more?

Do you play a musical instrument?

If you could go back in time and speak to your younger self, what age would you choose and what would you say?

Why do we say an alarm is going off when it is actually turning on?

Would we all be better off if we refused to accept anything that was offered to us for free?

What is your favorite song?

“You’ve got to ask! Asking is, in my opinion, the world’s most powerful - and neglected - secret to success and happiness.” -Percy Ross

Who is the funniest person in the world?

What things do you always carry with you in your pocket, purse, or wallet?

What just happened?

If the Universe is expanding, why are parking spaces still so hard to find?

“If water had a flavor, what color would it sound like?” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

What do you think is beyond the stars?

Wow, those were some challenging and difficult questions! Fortunately, the topic that follows below this one is much easier . . .

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Appearances and Looks

6/13/2018

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“A beautiful thing is never perfect.” -Author Unknown

“Won’t you come into my garden? I would like my roses to see you.” -Richard B. Sheridan (Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751 - 1816))

“Beauty is a mystery. You can neither eat it nor make flannel out of it.” -David Herbert Lawrence (1885 - 1930)

“I used to be very self-conscious. I used to wish I was pretty. My cousin Georgia always taught me that if you smile, people will like you. Sometimes people will say something you don’t like, and you get angry a bit, but you just smile. You let it go by, even if you really would like to choke ‘em. By smiling, I think I’ve made more friends than if I was the other way.” -Ella Fitzgerald (1918 - 1996)

Keep up appearances; there lies the test;
The world will give thee credit for the rest.
-Charles Churchill (1731 - 1764): “Night” (1761), lines 311 and 312

“Some of the most beautiful women I have ever met tell me, ‘I hate myself when I look in the mirror.’ I hear that again and again” -Henry Miller (1891 - 1980)

“First impressions are the most lasting.” -Jonas Hanway (1712 - 1786): “A Journal of Eight Days Journey” (1756)

“A plain face is often surprisingly beautiful by reason of an inner light.” -Henry E. Walbery

“Real beauty isn’t about symmetry or weight or makeup; it’s about looking life right in the face and seeing all its magnificence reflected in your own.” -Valerie Monroe

“Some of you may feel that you are not as attractive and beautiful and glamorous as you would like to be. Rise above any such feelings, cultivate the light you have within you, and it will shine through as a radiant expression that will be seen by others.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Do not judge others by appearances; a rich heart may be under a poor coat.” -Author Unknown: Scottish proverb

“Physical differences are what make it possible for our friends to find us in a crowd.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Beauty isn’t about having a pretty face. It’s about having a pretty mind, pretty heart, and a pretty soul.” -Author Unknown

Beauty to no complexion is confined,
Is of all colors, and by none defined.
-George Granville

“Beauty isn’t something on the outside. It’s your insides that count! You gotta eat green stuff to make sure you’re pretty on the inside.” -Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka, and Toshihiro Kawabata in “Animal Crossing: Wild World” (2005)

Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a body image condition that causes some people to imagine they presently have, or will later develop, physical deformities. Most people with the condition are not all that different from other people in appearance; it is just that their perception of themselves is erroneously distorted by inner or outer influences. BDD is also known by the term ‘dysmorphophobia,’ which is derived from the Greek words ‘dys’ meaning ‘abnormal,’ ‘morphe’ meaning ‘form,’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’ The good news is that the condition can be treated through therapeutic psychological counseling and by other methods.

“There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): “Essays” (1625), ‘Of Beauty’

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
the passion that she knows.
-Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

“The beauty does not live out there; the beauty’s in my eyes.” -Jonathan Lockwood Huie (born 1945)

He: My, what lovely eyes you have!
She: I am glad you like them. They were a birthday present.

“Do not judge men by mere appearances; for the light laughter that bubbles on the lip often mantles over the depths of sadness, and the serious look may be the sober veil that covers a divine peace and joy. The bosom can ache beneath diamond brooches; and many a blithe heart dances under coarse wool.” -E. H. Chapin (Edwin Hubbell Chapin (1814 - 1880))

She is not fair to outward view
As many maidens be;
Her loveliness I never knew
Until she smiled on me:
Oh! then I saw her eye was bright,
A well of love, a spring of light.
-Hartley Coleridge (David Hartley ‘Hartley’ Coleridge (1796 - 1849)): “Poems” (1851), ‘She Is Not Fair’

“I am not beautiful like you. I am beautiful like me.” -Author Unknown

Who is that pretty lady?

Her very frowns are fairer far
Than smiles of other maidens are.
-Hartley Coleridge (David Hartley ‘Hartley’ Coleridge (1796 - 1849)): “Poems” (1851), ‘She Is Not Fair’

“You know who’s beautiful? Read this first word.” -Author Unknown

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The Ugly Duckling Syndrome

“The Ugly Duckling” is a story about someone who was not really ugly at all; he was just different. The other ducks teased and pecked at him with their beaks until the ugly duckling flew away. He wandered around for a year, and was treated as an outcast everywhere. In the Spring, he saw a group of swans on a lake, and wanted very much to join them. As he swam out toward them, he was astounded to notice his reflection in the water - he was a swan! The other swans welcomed him warmly, and found him to be beautiful.

Like many fairy tales, “The Ugly Duckling” was created with a lesson, or moral, in mind, if we will listen or read with the idea of finding it.

Most of us go through times when we feel different from those around us. These can be painful and lonely times, but it does not mean there is anything wrong with us. Like the ugly duckling, we will come into a time and place when we will be loved. All the pain and loneliness we have felt will one day be a fading memory.

“I never dreamed of so much happiness when I was the ugly duckling.” -Hans Christian Andersen (1805 - 1875): “The Ugly Duckling” (11 November 1843)

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“I used to look in the mirror and feel shame; I look in the mirror now and I absolutely love myself.” -Drew Barrymore (born 1975)

“To all the girls who think they’re fat because they’re not a size zero, you’re the beautiful ones; it’s society who’s ugly.” -Marilyn Monroe (Norma Jean Mortenson (1926 - 1962))

“Appearances often deceive.” -Author Unknown: English saying

“It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910)): “The Kreutzer Sonata” (1889)

“Trust not too much to an enchanting face.” -Vergil (Publius Vergilius Maro, also known as Virgil (70 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.))

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” -Margaret Wolfe Hungerford (1855 - 1897): “Molly Bawn” (1878)

“The beauty seen is partly in him who sees it.” -Christian Bovee (Christian Nestell Bovee (1820 - 1904))

“Common-looking people are the best in the world. That is the reason the Lord made so many of them.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.” -Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972)

“Beauty is the promise of happiness.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

“Remember, the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless: peacocks and lilies, for instance.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900): “The Stones of Venice” (1851)

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” -Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990)

“I cannot tell you how many times people have come up to me to compliment me on my lavish figure.” -Miss Piggy, as quoted in Henry Beard: “Miss Piggy’s Guide to Life” (1981)

“No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“It is the common wonder of all men, how among so many millions of faces there should be none alike.” -Thomas Browne (1605 - 1682): “Religio Medici” (1643), Part II, Section 2

The above artwork is available in different sizes, starting at a thickness of 0.3175 centimeters (1/8th inch or 0.125 inches), precision laser-cut from Baltic Birch plywood. For details, click on The Wooden Hare.

“Always try to look your best, because you never get a second chance to make a first impression, and first impressions are lasting impressions.” -Author Unknown

“Beauty starts in your head, not in your mirror.” -Joubert Botha

“A woman deserves no credit for her beauty at twenty, but at sixty, her beauty is of her own doing.” -Author Unknown

O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
-Robert Burns (1759 - 1796): “To a Louse” (1786)

In Standard English, the above lines would be as follows:
And would some Power the small gift give us
To see ourselves as others see us!

“There are no ugly women, there are women who do not know how to look pretty.” -Jean de La Bruyère (1645 - 1696)

“To keep your good looks, you should smile often, because every 2,000 frowns on your face create one wrinkle.” -Author Unknown

“Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.” -Hedy Lamarr (Hedwig Eva Maria Kiesler (1914 - 2000))

“Beware so long as you live, of judging people by appearances.” -Jean de La Fontaine (1621 - 1695)

Never judge someone
By the way he looks
Or a book by the way it’s covered;
For inside those tattered pages,
There’s a lot to be discovered
-Stephen Cosgrove (born 1945)

“If being beautiful in the eyes of the Creator means being ugly in the eyes of the created, then it’s worth it.” -Author Unknown

“You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older.” -Anouk Aimee

“The appearances of things change according to the emotions and thus we see magic and beauty in them, while the magic and beauty are really in ourselves.” -Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)

“Outer beauty pleases the eye. Inner beauty captivates the heart.” -Mandy Hale (born 1978): “The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass” (2013)

Appearances and Looks Quiz
- What is the meaning of the word ‘beauty’?
- What is the meaning of the phrase ‘inner beauty’?
- Why might you not want to answer your door dressed and groomed sloppily?

“I’m beautiful in my own way because God makes no mistakes.” -Author Unknown

Appearances and Looks Quiz Answers
- Beauty is the quality of being pleasing to the mind.
- Inner beauties are virtues such as goodness, politeness, and caring.
- Always answer the door dressed and groomed well, because you never know when you might be greeting the Queen or the President.

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” -Confucius (K’ung Fu-tzu or K’ung Ch’iu (about 551 B.C.E. - about 479 B.C.E.))

“I am, as I am; whether hideous, or handsome, depends upon who is made judge.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)

“Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them.” -David Hume (1711 - 1776)

People who are ‘animated’ are more attractive.

“It’s not the face, but the expressions on it. It’s not the voice, but what you say. It’s not how you look in that body, but the thing you do with it. You are beautiful.” -Stephenie Meyer (born 1973): “The Host” (6 May 2008)

“That’s the thing about inner beauty: Unlike physical beauty, which grabs the spotlight for itself, inner beauty shines on everyone, catching them, holding them in its embrace, making them more beautiful too.” -Author Unknown

“Anyone is automatically a lot more attractive when they’re funny.” -Author Unknown

The folks at the ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ Website hope you will laugh a little more, learn a little more, and love life a little more . . . each day - we just want you to be happy.

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Problems and Solutions

6/9/2018

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“The next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))

“A problem well stated is a problem half-solved.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.” -Maya Angelou (born Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

“The best angle to approach a problem is from the try angle.” -Author Unknown

“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.” -Duke Ellington (1899 - 1974)

“What a pity human beings can’t exchange problems. Everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellow’s.” -Olin Miller (1918 - 2002)

“All life is problem solving.” -Karl Popper (1902 - 1994)

“Every big problem was at one time a wee little disturbance.” -Author Unknown

“The easiest way to solve a problem is to pick an easy one.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980))

“Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.” -Paul Erdos (1913 - 1996)

“The solution of every problem is another problem.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

Overheard: Everything is figureoutable.

“The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution.” -Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)

“I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated.” -Paul Anderson

“Discovery of a solution consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else and thinking something different.” -Albert Szent-Györgyi (1893 - 1986)

“A feeling of confidence and personal power comes from facing challenges and overcoming them.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Problems are the price of success.” -Branch Rickey (Wesley Branch Rickey (1881 - 1965))

“. . . so it will be forever; that after every storm the Sun will smile, for every problem there is a solution, and that the soul’s indefeasible duty is to be of good cheer . . .” -William R. Alger (William Rounseville Alger (1822 - 1905)): “The School of Life” (1881), ‘Lesson of Faith,’ page 71

“It’s not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.” -Ashleigh Brilliant (Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant (born 1933))

“It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it.” -John Steinbeck (John Ernst Steinbeck, Junior (1902 - 1968))

“No problem can be solved until it is reduced to some simple form. The changing of a vague difficulty into a specific, concrete form is a very essential element in thinking.” -J. P. Morgan (John Pierpont ‘J. P.’ Morgan (1837 - 1913))

“There are as many solutions as there are human beings.” -George Tooker (George Clair Tooker, Junior (1920 - 2011))

“It is no good getting furious if you get stuck. What I do is keep thinking about the problem but work on something else. Sometimes it is years before I see the way forward. In the case of information loss and black holes, it was 29 years.” -Stephen Hawking (Stephen William Hawking (1942 - 2018))

“‘We have a problem.’ ‘Congratulations.’ ‘But it’s a tough problem.’ ‘Then double congratulations.’” -W. Clement Stone (William Clement Stone (1902 - 2002))

“The one common challenge of all humanity is the challenge of problems.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“After every difficulty, ask yourself two questions: ‘What did I do right?’ and ‘What would I do differently?’” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys.” -Author Unknown

“Your problems aren’t going to solve themselves, you know.” -Author Unknown

“Focus on remedies, not faults.” -Jack Nicklaus (born 1940)

“Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” -Joshua J. Marine

“All problems become smaller if you don’t dodge them, but confront them.” -William F. Halsey (William Frederick ‘Bull’ Halsey, Junior (1882 - 1959))

“This problem, too, will look simple after it is solved.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“We will find the solution . . . together.” -Author Unknown

A mollusk has an elegant solution to a problem. When something irritates the lining of its shell, the mollusk responds by coating the irritant in a layer of the same material as the inside of its shell, commonly referred to as mother of pearl. The result is often the highly sought-after shiny smooth hard round object called a pearl. The problem is an irritant such as a grain of sand; the solution is a pearl. Does the mollusk teach us a lesson for dealing with problems?

“An expert problem solver must be endowed with two incompatible qualities - a restless imagination and a patient pertinacity.” -Howard W. Eves (Howard Whitley Eves (1911 - 2004))

“Do not be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.” -Earl Shoaff (John Earl Shoaff (1916 - 1965))

“You are the only problem you will ever have and you are the only solution.” -Bob Proctor (born 1934)

“A small trouble is like a pebble. Hold it too close to your eye, and it puts everything out of focus. Hold it at proper viewing distance, and it can be examined and classified. Throw it at your feet, and it can be seen in its true setting, just one more tiny bump on the pathway to eternity.” -Celia Luce (Celia Larsen Luce (1914 - 2008))

“Nobody, as long as he moves among the chaotic currents of life, is without trouble.” -C. G. Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961))

“The best way to escape from your problem is to solve it.” -Robert Anthony Eden (1897 - 1977)

“Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.” -René Descartes (1596 - 1650): “Discours de la Methode” (1637)

“Beset by a difficult problem? Now is your chance to shine. Pick yourself up, get to work, and get triumphantly through it.” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955))

“There are no problems, just challenges.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t tell me that this problem is difficult. If it wasn’t difficult, it wouldn’t be a problem.” [English translation]
“Ne me dites pas que ce problème est difficile. S’il n’était pas difficile, ce ne serait pas un problème.” [original French]
-Ferdinand Foch (Ferdinand Jean Marie Foch (1851 - 1929))

“Avoid problems, and you’ll never be the one who overcame them.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” -Theodore Rubin (Theodore Isaac Rubin (born 1923))

Overheard: All of the easy problems have already been solved.

“It’s good to remember that the tea kettle, although up to its neck in hot water, continues to sing.” -Author Unknown

“Focus on the solution, not the problem.” -Walter Anderson

“Every problem contains within itself the seeds of its own solution.” -Stanley Arnold

“A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talked to each other instead of about each other.” -Author Unknown

“When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“It isn’t that they can’t see the solution. It is that they can’t see the problem.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936))

“When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail.” -Abraham Maslow (Abraham Harold Maslow (1908 - 1970)): “The Psychology of Science” (1966)

“Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.” -Henry J. Kaiser (Henry John Kaiser (1882 - 1967))

“Nothing lasts forever - not even your troubles.” -Arnold Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“No problem is so complicated that you cannot make it more complicated.” -Andy Grove (Andrew Stephen ‘Andy’ Grove (1936 - 2016))

“There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. We seek out problems because we need their gifts.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.” -Denis Waitley (born 1933)

“Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.” -Alan Watts (Alan Wilson Watts (1915 - 1973))

Problems worthy of attack
prove their worth by hitting back.
-Piet Hein (1905 - 1996)

“Whenever we have a really difficult or impossible problem in life, we should take it to a math teacher. Math teachers are good at giving problems to us, and they are good at showing us how to solve them, as well.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“The issue is not that our problems are too big but that our imaginations are too small.” -Marianne Williamson (born 1952)

“It often happens that I wake at night and begin to think about a serious problem and decide I must tell the Pope about it. Then I wake up completely and remember that I am the Pope.” -Pope John XXIII (born Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli (1881 - 1963))

“Problems are to the mind what exercise is to the muscles, they toughen and make strong.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“The first requisite for success is the ability to apply your physical and mental energies to one problem incessantly without growing weary.” -Herbert Spencer (1820 - 1903)

“The ‘how’ thinker gets problems solved effectively because he wastes no time with futile ‘ifs.’” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.” -Theodore N. Vail (Theodore Newton Vail (1845 - 1920))

“I am so grateful for my troubles. As I reflect back on my life, I have come to realize that my greatest triumphs have been born of my greatest troubles.” -Steve Maraboli (born 1975): “Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience” (2013)

“No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“To solve a problem, walk around.” -Jerome (also known as Eusebius Sophronius Hieronymus (about C.E. 347 - C.E. 420))

“Divide each difficulty into as many parts as necessary to resolve it.” -René Descartes (1596 - 1650)

“The first step towards the solution of any problem is optimism.” -John Baines

“Never make troubles of trifles.” -Author Unknown

“When I’m working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“Trouble is My Business.” -Raymond Chandler (1888 - 1959): title of article in “Dime Detective Magazine” (August 1939), and the credo of his fictional detective Philip Marlowe

“Problems are questions that ask, ‘How can you best handle us?’” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“The most important thing to do in solving a problem is to begin.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . may all of your problems be funny ones . . . and may all of your solutions be fun . . .

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Bats

6/8/2018

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Has the whole world gone batty? Let us count the bats: 1 bat, 2 bats, 3 bats . . . How many bats are there? Does eleven seem about right?

Amanda: What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
Mandy: “You are fun to hang around with!”

Bats Facts
- Bats are the only flying mammals on Earth.
- A young bat is called a pup.
- The plural of bat is bats.
- A group of bats is called a colony when roosting upside down to rest or sleep, and a cloud or flock when in flight.
- The sounds made by bats are called screeches, squeaks, and squeals.
- Bats are nocturnal, meaning that they are most active at night.
- Bats can live for up to about 30 years, but typically live for only about 6 years.
- Bats live on every continent except Antarctica.

Herbert: What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
Herbie: A home run!

What do bats look like? Most bats have brown or black fur, although there are a few species with colorful shades of orange or red fur. They have wings made of long finger bones covered by thin wing-skin. Only their short thumbs are not covered by wing-skin, and they can use their thumbs independently of their wing-skin-covered wing-fingers. Unlike birds, which flap their entire forelimbs, bats flap their spread-out digits, or fingers, and with their multi-jointed wings, bats are more efficient fliers than birds. Bats generally have weak legs and are not good at walking. Vampire bats are the only bats that move well on the ground. Bats have fived toes on their two back feet. Some bats have short tails, while other bats have no tails.

Right up there with, “How now, brown cow?” we would like to add, “What bat is that?” If we are successful in this effort, it will increase the world’s supply of useless questions that make no sense, but are fun to say because they rhyme.

Are bats blind? The expression ‘blind as a bat’ is based on a generalized false notion that because some bats might have poor eyesight, especially when awakened from slumbering in near-total darkness by intruding humans who subject them to the intensely bright daylight before their eyes have had time to adjust, that all bats must be either blind, or nearly so. Not only are bats not blind, but many bats actually have good eyesight for daylight and can see quite well - some species of bats can even detect ultraviolet light that humans cannot sense. However, bats do not have good night vision, and therefore do not use sight as a primary sense at night, but instead rely on echolocation to find their way around in the dark.

Fictional characters based on bats include Batman, Batgirl, and Dracula. Hey, do you suppose they are related - the fictional characters, we mean?

There are no specific names for adult male bats or for adult female bats, in the English language. Perhaps adult male bats could be called roosters and adult female bats could be called hens. True, bats are not birds, but they are nonetheless winged animals, so it seems fitting. Other suggestions include ‘bobs’ for adult male bats and ‘bobbettes’ for adult female bats. However, ‘bob’ could be confused with the human male name ‘Bob,’ as in, “Hello, Bob!” and then Bob would reply, “Who are you talking to . . . me, or the bat over there?”

While other mammals such as flying squirrels can glide for short distances, bats are the only mammals capable of sustaining continuous flight.

When flying at night, bats can sense their way around and locate food by using a specialized ability called ‘echolocation.’ Bats make a continuous stream of high-pitched ultrasonic squeaks with their mouths and sometimes their noses. If bats do not hear echoes from the sounds they make, they know that the space in front of them is clear of objects, and they can safely fly forward. Bats can tell the distance of objects and what type of objects are around them by how quickly the sound waves echo back to them. A bat’s echolocation can detect objects as thin as a human hair or as wide as a big rock. We cannot hear the echolocation sounds bats make because it is extremely high-pitched. Other animals, such as dolphins and some cave-dwelling birds, also use similar echolocation senses.

Scientists believe that flight in bats developed before echolocation, meaning that early bats, when flying around in the dark, would have bumped into things a lot. They would have screamed a lot about this, too, and while screaming, they would have noticed the echoes of their screams, and this is how bats acquired echolocation senses . . . well, not really, we kind of thought that up with our imaginations . . . but it sounds almost plausible!

Nonsense Limerick

Bat, bat, come under my hat,
I’ll give you a slice of bacon,
     And when I bake
     I’ll give you a cake,
If I am not mistaken.

by Author Unknown: a Mother Goose rhyme

What do bats eat? Bats are divided into two broad categories based on what foods they eat and the ways in which they sense and obtain their food. Larger bats, called megabats, feed mostly on fruit, nectar, flowers, pollen, and leaves. Smaller bats, called microbats, eat insects, fish, frogs, and small mammals such as rodents. Vampire bats feed mostly on blood.

Unfortunately for bats, some people think they are all the same, and think that because some bats eat blood, they think that all bats do so. All bats are not the same. While bats are now placed in two groups, called the megabats and the microbats, scientists have recently begun exploring other ways of categorizing bats, but for now, we will consider the existing way in which bats are categorized until scientists have settled on any new ways.

So, just how long will the bats have to wait while the scientists make up their minds? We will probably have to go ask the wise old owl who lives in the woods. Let us all put on our boots, coats, and hats, everybody - we are going to the great outdoors!

The first broad category of bats are the microchiropterans, or microbats. These bats rely on echolocation to find insects and small animals to eat. Examples of microchiropterans are vampire bats and frog-eating bats. Approximately 70 percent of Earth’s bats, or 70 out of every 100, are in the microchiropterans category.

The second broad category of bats are the megachiropterans, or megabats. These bats tend to use their sense of smell to find food, which can include fruits and nectar from flowering plants. Examples of megachiropterans are fruit bats and blossom bats. Approximately 30 percent of Earth’s bats, or 30 out of every 100, are in the megachiropterans category.

There are differences in appearances between megabats and microbats. Megabats have two claws on each ‘hand,’ one on the thumb and one on the finger next to the thumb, also known as the index finger. Microbats have only one claw on each ‘hand,’ located on their thumbs.

Lilith: When does a bat say, “Moo”?
Lily: When it is learning a new language.

Bumblebee Bats, also known as Kitti’s Hog-nosed Bats, are the smallest bats, as well as possibly the smallest living mammals on Earth. At about the size of bumblebees, they have a typical body length of 3 centimeters (1.25 inches), a wingspan of 15 centimeters (6 inches), and a weight of 2 grams (0.07 ounces). Due to habitat loss in their native Thailand, scientists list Bumblebee Bats as a critically endangered species.

Bats live all over the world, except for the Arctic, the Antarctic, and on some islands. Bats do not live in the extreme cold of polar regions or in the extreme heat of deserts. They mostly prefer warmer areas that are closer to the equator, and they can be found in rain forests, mountains, farmland, woods, and cities. Bats can live in caves, trees, under bridges, inside abandoned mines and buildings, in human-made bat houses, and sometimes in the attics of houses.

Chiroptophobia, also known as vespertiliophobia, is a persistent fear of bats. The word ‘chiroptophobia’ is derived from the Greek words ‘cheir’ meaning ‘hand, ‘pteron’ meaning ‘wing,’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’ One way to reduce fear is to learn about the thing that is feared, perhaps learning a little at a time until the fear gradually fades away to near-nothingness or total-nothingness.

Baby Bat

The baby bat
     Screamed out in fright,
“Turn on the dark,
     I’m afraid of the light!”

-Author Unknown

Bats have two strategies for weathering cold winters. Some bats migrate to warmer areas, while other bats go into torpor, a form of hibernation in which a bat reduces its metabolic rate by lowering its body temperature and slowing its heart rate and breathing.

The Bat

By day the bat is cousin to the mouse;
     He likes the attic of an aging house.
His fingers make a hat about his head.
     His pulse-beat is so slow we think him dead.
He loops in crazy figures half the night
     Among the trees that face the corner light.
But when he brushes up against a screen,
     We are afraid of what our eyes have seen:
For something is amiss or out of place
     When mice with wings can wear a human face.

-Theodore Roethke

Do bats attack people? Bats fear humans because they rightly see us as predators, and they will avoid us whenever possible. If bats are trapped in a cave or a building with people, the bats might panic and accidently fly into people as they attempt to escape, but they will not do it on purpose as an attack. Contrary to how they are portrayed in horror movies, bats do not compulsively fly about blindly and immediately become entangled in the nearest person’s hair, as if human hair is somehow some kind of weird ‘bat magnet.’

In Southeast Asia, small club-footed bats roost inside the hollow segments of bamboo stalks. To reach their home, the bats squeeze into openings as small as 1 centimeter (0.4 inches), which is about the width of a human fingernail.

Cora: Why do some bats not live alone?
Corey: Because they literally like to ‘hang out’ with their friends and family!

Bats are tuned-in to the environment better than humans are, at least when it comes to hearing. Bats can hear sound frequencies between 20 Hertz and 120,000 Hertz. Humans can only hear sounds between 20 Hertz and 20,000 Hertz, and even dogs with their sharp hearing can only detect sounds between 40 Hertz and 60,000 Hertz.

Fruit bats are a traditional food source for the people living on the island of Guam, and have been hunted to the point that they are how listed as an endangered species. Presently, the people of Guam must import bat meat from other islands, though Guam still serves as a major trade center for bat meat. What is for dinner?

The word ‘bat’ first appeared in 1570. ‘Bat’ is derived from the Middle English word ‘bakke,’ which is related to the Old Swedish word ‘natbakka’ and the Old Danish word ‘nathbakkae,’ both meaning ‘night bat,’ and also the Old Norse word ‘leđrblaka’ meaning ‘leather flapper.’

Bert: What do you call a bat in a belfry that has a bell in it?
Herbert: A ding-bat.

Bats make their homes in places that provide them with shelter from the weather, protection from predators, and seclusion for raising their young. They spend their days at home, where they roost, which means sleeping while hanging upside down and tightly holding on to things with their sharp claws. Bats roost from tree branches and the ceilings inside caves, mines, barns, attics, belfries, abandoned buildings, and in any other bat-friendly places where they can ‘hang out.’ While some bats roost with hundreds, thousands, or even millions of other bats in groups called colonies, other bats such as hoary bats and red bats roost alone.

Drake: What is green and hangs from cave ceilings?
Jake: Unripe bats.

Bats always turn left when exiting a cave or other shelter. If you know why they do this, please let us know . . . is it because of the direction of the Earth’s rotation, or so that they can coordinate their efforts like synchronized swimmers? Are they left-winged? Do they always return to their cave from the opposite direction?

Like standup-comedians, bats are usually found hanging upside down from the ceilings in dark, dank places during the day, and they come out only as nighttime approaches. We believe this to be accurate because so far, no standup-comedians have told us any differently.

Bats are nocturnal, meaning that they are animals that are most active at night. Some bats may fly up to 50 kilometers (31 miles) each night to find food.

Andy: Why do bats fly at night?
Andrew: Because they cannot drive.

The Bracken Bat Cave in Texas is the largest known bat colony in the world. More than 20 million bats live in the cave, which is more bats than there are people living in Mumbai, India, one of the world’s largest human cities. When the bats leave the cave, the group is so large that it looks like a huge storm on radar. The bats eat more than 200 tons of bugs each night, including Texas-sized mosquitoes that are as big as barn doors. What, you say there is no such thing as mosquitoes as big as barn doors - not even in Texas?

Bats are immensely helpful to humans, although we do not see most of what they do because they work at night while we are usually sleeping. Bats eat insects that destroy farm crops. A single little brown bat can eat up to 1,200 mosquito-sized insects in just one hour. Some bats pollinate flowers and spread seeds for new flowers and plants, including the trees that make up forests.

Bat this around: The phrase ‘bats in your belfry’ was coined by American writer George W. Peck in his book “Peck’s Uncle Ike and the Red-Headed Boy” (1901). The term ‘batty’ was coined by another American writer, Al Kleberg, in his book, “Slang Fables from Afar” (1903), in which he states, “She . . . acted so queer . . . that he decided she was Batty.”

The scientific name for bats is ‘Chiroptera’ which is derived from the Greek words ‘cheir’ meaning ‘hand’ and ‘pteron’ meaning ‘wing.’ One might think of bats as animals with hands adapted to serve as wings.

Pipistrelle bats weigh less than two pennies each, and they are only as long as a human’s little finger - yet each one of these tiny bats can eat 3,000 insects in one night. They are real-life superheroes, because they help to keep us safe by eating insects that might otherwise bite and nibble on us.

Reginald: Why did the vampire bat cross the road?
Reggie: Because it was attached to the chicken’s neck.

Do bats drink blood? Only vampire bats drink blood. The three living species of vampire bats are all found in Central America and South America, so if you live outside these areas, the only vampire bats you are ever likely to see would be in zoos and in horror movies. They feed exclusively on blood, most of which comes from wild birds and less often from deer, cattle, and chickens. Vampire bats have small and extremely sharp teeth with which they can pierce, or cut into, the skin of animals and humans. They are so highly skilled at biting that their victims seldom know they are being bitten. They do not suck blood, but instead make V-shaped cuts and then very delicately lick up the blood. Vampire bats can carry the dangerous rabies disease, and people who are bitten can get sick and die unless they get immediate medical attention. People who are bitten by vampire bats never turn into Dracula or other bizarre human-bat combinations with long pointy teeth who speak with Eastern European accents and make hissing-sucking sounds to scare people.

Elias: How can you tell when a vampire bat has been in a bakery?
Elijah: All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

Are bats harmful to humans? Bats can carry rabies, but statistically, people are much more likely to be infected with rabies by any domesticated dogs and cats that might have the disease. Bats can spread histoplasmosis, also known as ‘Cave disease’ or ‘Darling’s disease,’ which is caused by a type of fungus. If you see a live bat or a dead bat, the best thing to do is not to touch it, and to move yourself and pets or livestock away from it immediately so that no diseases are contracted. Call the authorities, such as the law enforcement or animal control department of your local government, let them know where you found the bat, and then let them handle the situation from there. Bats do not deliberately infect people and animals with diseases, but their physiology and the physiology of other animals and humans have different tolerances for infectious diseases, so that a disease a bat might be carrying with little or no harm to itself might be a disease that could make another animal or a person sick or worse. Bats and other animals and humans all live on the Earth together, and we benefit from bats being here - and in fact, we might not be able to survive without the good work that they do. Yet bats and humans occupy significantly different niches in the Earth’s ecosystem, also understood as the circle of life or balance of nature, and we should allow a respectable distance between bats and ourselves so that we, as members of vastly different species, do not harm one another.

Long ago, in about 600 B.C.E., a fabulist (storyteller) of ancient Greece named Aesop told of a bat that borrowed money to start a business. The business failed, so the bat had to hide during the day, to avoid the people to whom it owed the money. According to Aesop, this explains why bats come out only at night. Is the lesson to be learned from the story always to pay back your debts, or you might have to spend your life in hiding?

Bats Quiz
- Are bats mammals, insects, birds, or small dinosaurs?
- Do bats have claws?
- Would it be fun to be able to fly with your hands, as bats do?
- Do bats live on the continent on which you live?
- Do bats have scales, fur, feathers, or bare skin?
- Do vampire bats live in the woods and in abandoned houses near you?

Winston: What is the first thing that little bats learn in school?
Winifred: The alphabat.

Bats Quiz Answers
- Bats are mammals.
- Bats have claws.
- While it might be fun to be able to use your hands to fly, if you became bat-like, you would likely lose the ability to do certain other things with your hands, such as catching and grasping objects.
- Bats live on every continent on Earth except for Antarctica, so if you live on a continent on Earth, and the continent you live on is not Antarctica, then bats also live on the continent on which you live.
- Bats have fur that covers much of their bodies.
- Vampire bats live only in Central America, in South American, and in some zoos.

Eleanor: Why did the bat join the circus?
Eliot: Because she wanted to be an acro-bat!

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . remember, nothing drives the bats out of your belfry like a little silliness . . . and more follows just below . . .

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Riddles and Puzzles

6/7/2018

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Riddle: What do you get if you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a terrier?
Solution: A hot-diggity-dog!

Riddle: What do you get if you cross a porcupine with a sheep?
Solution: An animal that knits its own sweaters.

Do you enjoy riddles and puzzles? Well, then, you have come to the right place. We think you will have a lot of fun pondering these mini-mysteries.

Riddle: What can you hold without touching?
Solution: Your breath.

Riddle: What do you get if you cross a cat and a parrot?
Solution: A carrot.

Riddles are of two types.
- Enigmas, which are problems generally expressed in metaphorical or allegorical languages, and which require ingenuity and careful thinking for their solution.
- Conundrums, which are questions relying for their effects on punning in either the question or in the answer.

Riddle: What is brown and sticky?
Solution: A stick.

Riddle: What can you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?
Solution: A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush.

Puzzles are games, toys, or problems designed to test skill, ingenuity, or knowledge. Examples of puzzles are crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, and mazes.

English journalist Arthur Wayne is credited with being the inventor of the modern crossword. The diamond-shaped puzzle appeared in the “New York World” newspaper on 21 December 1913.

Crossword Compiler

A crossword compiler named Moss,
Who found himself quite at a loss,
When asked, “Why so blue?”
Said, “I haven’t a clue -
I’m 2 Down to put 1 Across.”

by Author Unknown

When the first book of crossword puzzles was published, the creator received $500 down and $300 across.

Riddle: What flies without wings?
Solution: Time.

Riddle: What is better than the best thing and worse than the worst thing?
Solution: Nothing.

Riddle:
We are four siblings in this world that were all born together.
The first he runs and never wearies,
The second eats and is never full.
The third he drinks and is ever thirsty,
And the fourth sings a song that is never good.
Who are we?
Solution:
We are Water, Fire, Earth, and Wind.

Riddle: What has two arms, two wings, two tails, three heads, three bodies, and eight legs?
Solution: A man on a horse holding a chicken.

Riddle: Why are lost items always in the last place you look?
Solution: Because when you find them, you stop looking.

Riddle: What has a man’s name, is as small as a mouse, and wears a red vest?
Solution: A robin.

Ed: Pete and Repeat were sitting on a log and Pete fell off - who was left?
Fred: Repeat.
Ed: Pete and Repeat were sitting on a log and Pete fell off - who was left?
Fred: Repeat.
Ed: Pete and Repeat . . .

Riddle: What belongs to you but is used more often by others?
Solution: Your name.

Riddle: Which is faster, heat or cold?
Solution: Heat, because people can catch a cold.

Riddle:
Proprietors of an ice cream shop want to host a giveaway day to boost business. To avoid large crowds, however, they do not want to advertise the free ice cream cone day broadly. Instead, they post three clues as to the date.
1. The giveaway will be in the first week of a month without an ‘a’ in it.
2. It will be on a day of the week that has a ‘u’ in it.
3. The month has no ‘e’ but the day of the week has an ‘e.’
Can you figure out when to go for a free cone?
Solution:
The first Tuesday in July is free ice cream day.

Riddle: I have a face and two hands; what am I?
Solution: A clock.

Riddle: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
Solution: One has claws at the end of its paws, and one is a pause at the end of a clause.

Riddle: What is so fragile that it can be broken just by the sound of someone speaking?
Solution: Silence.

Riddle: What does the following tell you about Calvin?
○ Appreciated
○ Calvin
○ Weight
Solution: Calvin is ‘underappreciated’ and ‘overweight.’

Riddle: What part of you disappears when you stand up?
Solution: Your lap.

Riddle: What question can someone ask all day long, always get completely different answers, and yet all the answers could be correct?
Solution: “What time is it?”

Riddle: Joe was asked how many ducks he had seen. He answered, “As they ran along a path, I saw one duck in front of two ducks, a duck behind two ducks, and a duck between two ducks.” How many ducks did Joe see?
Solution: Joe saw three ducks, running along a path in single file.

Riddle: If you take away the whole, some still remains - what is it?
Solution: Wholesome.

Riddle: What can you not keep until you have given it?
Solution: Your word.

Riddle: How can you arrange for two people to stand on the same piece of newspaper and yet be unable to touch each other without stepping off the newspaper?
Solution: Slide the newspaper half way under a closed door and ask the two people to stand on the part of the newspaper on their side of the door.

Riddle: Forward I am heavy, but backward I am not. What am I?
Solution: Forward I am ‘ton,’ backwards I am ‘not.’

Riddle: What five-letter word becomes shorter when two letters are added to it?
Solution: Short.

Riddle: David’s father has three sons; two of them are John and William; what is the name of David’s father’s third son?
Solution: David.

Riddle: What can swallow you if you do not swallow it first?
Solution: Pride.

Riddle: What asks no question but demands an answer?
Solution: A telephone.

Riddle: What do cars, trees, and elephants all have in common?
Solution: They all have trunks.

Riddle: I follow you everywhere you go. Who am I?
Solution: I am your shadow.

Riddle: Two legs sat upon four legs eating one leg. In came four legs - and out went four legs with one leg. Close behind was two legs, without one leg, shaking four legs at four legs.
Solution: A person sat on a chair eating a chicken leg. In comes a dog - and out it went with the chicken leg. Close behind was the person, without the chicken leg, shaking the chair at the dog.

Riddle: I run around but never race, my hands are always on my face, I cannot count very many numbers, you hit me and I let you slumber - what am I?
Solution: An alarm clock.

Riddle: What stays hot even if you put it in the refrigerator?
Solution: Pepper.

Riddle: Name three things that have eyes but that cannot see.
Solution: Sewing needles, storms, and potatoes.

Riddle: What has no fingers, but many rings?
Solution: A tree.

Riddle: What has one eye but cannot see?
Solution: A needle.

Riddle: Four legs sat on four legs waiting for four legs to come out of its hole.
Solution: A cat sat on a chair waiting for a mouse to come out of its hole.

Riddle: What is white when it is dirty and black when it is clean?
Solution: A chalkboard (blackboard).

Riddle: What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
Solution: They both live underground, apart from the eagle.

Riddle: I work only after I have been fired. Who am I?
Solution: I am a rocket.

Riddle: Why did Beethoven not finish the “Unfinished Symphony”?
Solution: Because the Unfinished Symphony was started by Schubert, not Beethoven.

Riddle: What room is never entered?
Solution: A mushroom.

Riddle: What is the longest word in the English language?
Solution: ‘Smiles,’ because there is a mile between the first and last letter (or ‘rubber’ because it stretches).

Riddle: What never was and never will be?
Solution: A mouse’s nest in a cat’s ear.

Riddle: A man built a house with all four sides facing south. A bear walked past the house. What color is the bear?
Solution: The bear is a white polar bear, and the house is at the North Pole.

Riddle: What is the first thing you know?
Solution: “The first thing you know, Old Jed’s a millionaire. The kin folks said, ‘Jed, move away from there!’”

Riddle: What is the biggest room in the world?
Solution: Room for improvement.

Polly: What is the difference between ‘ignorance’ and ‘apathy?’
Esther: ‘I do not know,’ and ‘I do not care’!
Polly: You answered correctly!

Riddle: What do you find in the middle of nowhere?
Solution: The letter ‘h.’

Riddle: What did the eye say to the ear?
Solution: Do you hear what I see, hear what I see, hear what I see?

“Do I rue a life wasted doing crosswords? No, but I do know the three-letter-word for regret.” -Robert Brault

Riddle: What is easy to get into but hard to get out of?
Solution: Trouble.

Riddle: The more you take, the more you leave behind - what is it?
Solution: Footsteps.

Riddle: If a north-facing rooster was sitting at the point of the roof of a building on the Earth’s equator at exactly 12:00 noon, and laid an egg, which side of the roof would the egg roll down?
Solution: Roosters do not lay eggs, you silly goose - hens lay eggs!

Riddle: What has to be broken before it can be used?
Solution: An egg.

“If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog? Five? No - calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.” -Abraham Lincoln

Riddle: What is the difference between an onion and an oboe?
Solution: Nobody cries when you chop up an oboe.

Riddle: If leather makes good shoes, what do banana skins make?
Solution: Good slippers!

Puzzle Poem

When it’s boring
Because of rainy weather
Nothing’s so fun as
Putting a puzzle together.

by Author Unknown

Riddle: How do you get to Carnegie Hall?
Solution: Practice, practice, practice.

Riddle: What has four legs and feathers?
Solution: A featherbed.

Riddle: Brian’s mom has four children. The first was a boy named Jerry. The second was a girl named Susan. The third was a boy called Robert, and the fourth was another boy. What was his name?
Solution: Brian.

Riddle: What has four legs but no feet?
Solution: A table.

Math Problem: $21 in one-dollar bills is split evenly among two fathers and two sons. How is this possible?
Solution: There are only three people: a grandfather, a father, and the father’s son, who each receive $7.

Riddle: What has six legs, four eyes, and five ears?
Solution: A man sitting on a horse eating an ear of corn.

Riddle: What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?
Solution: A dressmaker sews what she gathers, and a farmer gathers what he sows.

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . a website most puzzling indeed . . .

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Boomerangs and Throwing Sticks

6/5/2018

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For a while, I could not quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.

A boomerang makes a good whittling project. Start with a piece of a bent tree branch, split it lengthwise with an axe, and whittle away at it with a knife until you have made your own handcrafted throwing stick. Experiment with body and edge shapes to find what creates the best results when you fling your projectile into the wild blue yonder.

Boomerang: What you say to frighten a meringue.

Boomerangs come in two general categories: returning and non-returning.

A native Australian was given a new boomerang as a gift. The trouble was that he spent the rest of his life trying to throw his old one away.

The returning boomerang can be used for recreation and sports, as a leisure toy, or as a weapon. A returning boomerang consist of two or more connected airfoil wings, configured so as to create an aerodynamically imbalanced shape that follows an elliptical trajectory, so that if used properly, it will fly away from the thrower, follow a curved flight path, and then return to the thrower.

Question: What do you get if you cross a skunk and a boomerang?
Answer: A smell you cannot get rid of.

The non-returning boomerang, or throwing stick, is intended primarily as a lethal weapon for use by hunters to kill animals for food, and doubles as an implement for digging and for starting friction fires, and even as a sound-producing instrument or signaling device when two of the sticks are struck together.

Riddle: What do you call a boomerang that does not come back to you after you have thrown it?
Answer: A stick.

A group of hunters armed with boomerangs can launch them into a flock of birds or a herd of animals in a coordinated effort, and with some statistical likelihood, achieve the objective of bringing down one or more of the birds or animals for their next meal.

Question: What is an Australian ghost’s favorite snack?
Answer: Boo-meringue pie.

Boomerangs use the same general principle as the wings of airplanes which, when moving forward through the air, develop lift. Indeed, boomerangs are among the earliest known human-made heavier-than-air flying objects, developed before even the bow-and-arrow and the slingshot.

“The game of life is the game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds, and words return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy.” -Florence Scovel Shinn (1871 - 1940): “The Game of Life and How to Play It” (1925)

Boomerang: A cross between a cannon and a bell.

Although boomerangs are often associated with the continent of Australia, they have also been discovered in much older sites in the part of the world that is now the country of Poland, and which are associated with early humans of about 30,000 years ago. Other boomerangs have been found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs that are over 2,000 years old.

Overheard: My uncle Will had a boomerang that he did not want, but every time he tried to throw it away, he ended up badly injured.

In 1992, German astronaut Ulf Merbold performed an experiment aboard the orbiting Spacelab that demonstrated boomerangs can function in zero gravity just as they do on Earth. French astronaut Jean-François Clervoy demonstrated the experiment while aboard the Mir space station in 1997. In 2008, Japanese astronaut Takao Doi again repeated the experiment. Who says people cannot have fun in space?

Samantha: How do you get rid of a boomerang?
Tabitha: Throw it down a one-way street?

Boomerangs: Echo sticks.

The best place to be when your boomerang makes its return flight would be behind a tree or rock, wearing a helmet, goggles, and thick padded protective clothes. Until you have gotten significant practice in throwing boomerangs, it is recommended that you do so only under the supervision of an experienced boomerang thrower. Practice in an area with plenty of room and with no people or animals or breakable objects within the throwing stick’s flight path, which of course means you will not want anyone standing close to you, either. An open field will do nicely. A boomerang is a potential killing weapon, so when it comes flying back to you, never try to catch it as you would a ball or a Frisbee; instead, let it hit the ground and then go pick it up.

He wondered why the boomerang kept getting bigger until it finally hit him.

“Life is like a boomerang; the more good you throw out, the more you get in return.” -Author Unknown

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A Boomerang World

As I was sitting outside this morning sipping my coffee and watching the Sun climb over the horizon, I looked down and saw a curved stick on the ground that reminded me of a boomerang. Suddenly I was caught up in memories of me as a kid playing for hours on end in my grandfather’s backyard with a small wooden boomerang he had given to me as a gift.

Remember when you were a kid, how fascinated you were with boomerangs? (At least I was.) You take this flat, curved piece of wood and throw it and then watch in amazement as it curves around in the air and comes right back to you.

As ‘miraculous’ as that seemed when we were kids, I’ve found that most of our life is like that. Whatever we throw out there, comes back to us.

We live in a boomerang world.

Let me explain:

If you smile at someone, in almost every case, they will smile back. Try it now with someone nearby and see if it works.

If you are kind toward someone, he or she will usually be kind in return. Of course, this also works in the other direction.

If you complain to someone, they will share their complaints with you. In fact, you may quickly find yourself in a subtle competition to see who is more miserable.

If you get angry at someone, they will usually get angry with you. And so on . . .

The fact is, whatever you decide to throw out into the world will usually circle around and land right back at your feet, much like the boomerangs we played with as kids.

Here’s what struck me this morning.

I have a choice about what I decide to throw out into my world. I have a choice about what I want to land at my feet?

If you want more joy - throw it out there.

If you want more happiness - throw some happiness out there to someone else and watch it miraculously come back to you.

It even works with money. Need money? Give some away. The spiritual leaders from the beginning of time have been telling us this, but most of us are afraid to believe it.

It works in just about every area of our life. When we give something away, when we throw it out there - it comes back to us.

But here’s the good news and this is really the miraculous part, we actually get more back than what we throw out there. Plant a seed and you don’t just get one seed back. You get hundreds - maybe even thousands!

So today and for as many days afterwards as you want, make a conscious choice about what you want to throw out into the world. By doing this, you will be making a choice about what is going to come back and land at your feet.

Remember the boomerang and that whatever you throw out there, will come back to you many times over.

-Tim Wright

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Question: What do you get when you cross a boomerang and a rubber band?
Answer: A snappy comeback!

“Everything you unleash into the world will find its way back to you.” -Author Unknown

Bernie: Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Barney: He was trying to fetch a boomerang.

Overheard: “I threw a boomerang six years ago, and it never came back. Now I live in constant fear.”

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . boomeranging out all across the internet . . . we can hardly wait to see its return flight . . . there it is . . . run for your life!

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Life and Living

6/1/2018

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“I like life. It’s something to do.” -Ronnie Shakes (born Ronald Michael Sakele (1947 - 1987))

“Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.” -Annette Funicello (Annette Joanne Funicello (1942 – 2013))

Life

When life seems just a dreary grind,
     And things seem fated to annoy,
Say something nice to someone else
     And watch the world light up with joy.

by Author Unknown

“I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun.” -Katharine Hepburn (Katharine Houghton Hepburn (1907 - 2003))

“Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.” -Brendan Gill (1914 - 1997)

“Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.” -Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902): “The Note-Books of Samuel Butler” (1912)

The World

This world that we’re a livin’ in
     Is mighty hard to beat;
You git¹ a thorn with ev’ry² rose,
     But ain’t the roses sweet!

-Frank L. Stanton (Frank Lebby Stanton (1857 - 1927))
¹ git: get
² ev’ry: every

“It never gets easier, you just go faster.” -Greg LeMond (Gregory James ‘Greg’ LeMond (born 1961))

“From now until the end of time no one else will ever see life with my eyes, and I mean to make the best of my chance.” -Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)

“Murphy’s First Law of Infinite Priority: ‘Whatever you set out to do, something else must be done first.’” -Author Unknown

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” -George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

Overheard: How can I control my life when I cannot control my hair?

“Life’s not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow.” -Terri Guillemets (born 1973)

“The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand other things well.” -Hugh Walpole (Hugh Seymour Walpole (1884 - 1941))

Life

Inch by inch,
Life is a cinch.
Yard by yard,
Life is hard.

by John Updike (John Hoyer Updike (1932 - 2009))

“Life’s tragedy is that we grow old too soon and wise too late.” -Author Unknown

“I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“So one thing I want to say about life is don’t be scared and don’t hang back, and most of all, don’t waste it.” -Joan W. Blos (Joan Winsor Blos (1928 - 2017)): “A Gathering of Days” (1979)

“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funnybone.” -Reba McEntire (Reba Nell McEntire (born 1955))

“You live and learn. Or at any rate, you live.” -Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

“Life is half spent before we know what it is.” -George Herbert (1593 - 1633): “Jacula Prudentum” (English: “Outlandish Proverbs”) (1640)

“Life is a series of commas, not periods.” -Matthew McConaughey (Matthew David McConaughey (born 1969))

“Life is a series of events strung together like a phrase of a sentence forever changing and forever adapting. Turn the page and read on.” -Author Unknown

“My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.” -Cary Grant (pseudonym of Archibald Alexander Leach (1904 - 1986))

“Now it is a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it . . .” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)): “The Mixture as Before” (1940), ‘The Treasure’

“I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.” -Lily Tomlin (Mary Jean Tomlin (born 1939))

“The greatest gift . . . is the realization that life does not consist either of wallowing in the past or of peering anxiously at the future; and it is appalling to contemplate the great number of often painful steps by which one arrives at a truth so old, so obvious, and so frequently expressed. It is good for one to appreciate that life is now. Whether it offers little or much, life is now - this day - this hour.” -Charles Macomb Flandrau (1871 - 1938): “Viva Mexico” (1912), chapter 7

“Plunge boldly into the thick of life!” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.” -T. S. Eliot (Thomas Stearns Eliot (1888 - 1965)): “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” (1915)

“The problem of life is not to make life easier, but to make people stronger.” -David Starr Jordan (1851 - 1931)

“Life is not so much a matter of position as of disposition.” -Author Unknown

“In spite of the cost of living, it’s still popular.” -Kathy Norris (Kathleen Thompson Norris (1880 - 1966))

“Life is made up of giving and getting, forgiving and forgetting.” -Author Unknown

“Life is a verb.” -Author Unknown

“May you live all the days of your life.” -Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745)

“Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.” -Author Unknown

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” -Neale Donald Walsch (born 1943)

Overheard: When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum.

“We are most alive when we’re in love.” -John Updike (John Hoyer Updike (1932 - 2009))

“I think I’ve discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.” -Charles Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000))

“Life is like a coin; you may spend it in many ways, but you spend it only once.” -Author Unknown

“Life is nothing without friendship.” -Cicero (Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.))

Overheard: You can’t have everything - where would you put it all?

“You have to take the bitter with the sweet.” -John Heywood (about 1497 - 1580): “All the Proverbs in the English Language” (1546)

“There are two means of refuge from the misery of life: music and cats.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

“Everything has been figured out except how to live.” -Jean-Paul Sartre (1905 - 1980)

“Possibly the game of Life cannot be won; but if it can be won, it will be the players in the game who win it, not the superior people who pride themselves on not knowing the difference between a fair ball and a foul, to say nothing of those in the grandstand or in the bleachers whose contribution is throwing pop bottles at the umpire.” -Max Carl Otto (1876 - 1968)

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” -Author Unknown

“When one subtracts from life infancy (which is vegetation), sleep, eating and swilling, buttoning and unbuttoning - how much remains of downright existence? The Summer of a dormouse.” -Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824))

“Life may not be the party we had hoped for, but while we’re here, we should dance.” -Author Unknown

“Life goes by so quickly - we have to make every moment count.” -Author Unknown

“Life moves pretty fast! If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” -Author Unknown

“Live each day in a way that will make you feel good about yourself tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“The person who makes a success of living is the one who sees his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly.” -Cecil B. Demille (1881 - 1959)

“Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.” -Author Unknown

“It is not true that we have only one life to live; if we can read, we can live as many more lives and as many kinds of lives as we wish.” -S. I. Hayakawa (Samuel Ichiye Hayakawa (1906 - 1992))

“Life goes quickly. Seize it!” -Author Unknown

“Life is a journey and it helps to have a map.” -Author Unknown

“Life is not always what one wants it to be, but to make the best of it, as it is, is the only way of being happy.” -Jennie Jerome Churchill (1854 - 1921)

“Be a life long or short, its completeness depends on what it was lived for.” -David Starr Jordan (1851 - 1931)

“Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.” -Ernestine Ulmer (born 1925)

“Our life is what we make it by our own thoughts and deeds.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912): “Light on Life’s Difficulties” (1912)

No Problem

Life is easier than you think.
All you have to do is:
accept the impossible,
do without the indispensable,
bear the intolerable,
and be able to smile at anything.

by Author Unknown

“Just living is not enough . . . one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.” -Hans Christian Andersen (1805 - 1875)

“Work hard, play hard.” -Author Unknown

“What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” -Sidonie Gabrielle Colette (1873 - 1954)

“Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.” -George Carlin (1937 - 2008)

“Life is not always fair, but it can still be good if you work hard to make it that way.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Young Man of Cadiz

There was a young man of Cadiz,
Who concluded that life is what it is;
     For he early had learnt,
     If it were what it weren’t,
It could not be that which it is.

by Author Unknown

“No one finds life worth living; one must make it worth living.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: Life would be so much easier if everyone read the manual.

“Life is only traveled once. Today’s moment becomes tomorrow’s memory. Enjoy every moment, good or bad, because the gift of life is life itself.” -Author Unknown

“Not only strike while the iron is hot, but make it hot by striking.” -Oliver Cromwell (1599 - 1658): letter (1658)

“Life is always at some turning point.” -Irwin Edman (1896 - 1954)

“Life is like a camel - you can make it do anything except back up.” -Marcelene Cox

“All of life is learning; therefore education can never end.” -Eduard Lindeman (Eduard Christian Lindeman (1885 - 1953))

“Live all you can - it’s a mistake not to. It doesn’t so much matter what you do in particular, so long as you have your life. If you haven’t had that, what have you had?” -Henry James (Henry James, Junior (1843 - 1916))

“Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars.” -Henry Van Dyke (1852 - 1933)

’Tis not so bad a world
     As some would like to make it -
But whether good or whether bad
     Depends on how you take it.
by Author Unknown

“A happy life is made up of little things - a gift sent, a letter written, a call made, a recommendation given, transportation provided, a cake made, a book lent, a check sent.” -Carol Holmes

“Live, and be happy, and make others so.” -Mary Shelley (1797 - 1851)

“Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that special occasion. Stop withholding your love until that special person materializes. Every day you are alive is a special occasion. Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God.” -Mary Manin Morrissey (born 1949): as quoted in John D. Moore: “Quotations for Martial Artists” (2003), page 3

Laugh a little more . . . learn a little more . . . love life a little more . . . every day . . . with ‘Make Fun Of Life!’

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Inquisitiveness and Curiosity

5/30/2018

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“The quest quotient has always excited me more than the intelligence quotient.” -Eugene S. Wilson

Patrice: You’re a real curiosity - did you know that?
Shaun: Well, thank you, though I doubt if you shall ever solve me.

“Be aware of wonder. And then remember the, “Dick and Jane,” books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - look.” -Robert Fulghum (Robert Lee Fulghum (born 1937))

Inquisitive Lad

There once was a boy of Bagdad,
An inquisitive sort of a lad.
He said, “I will see
If a sting has a bee.”
And he very soon found that it had!

-Author Unknown

“A good scientist is a person in whom the childhood quality of perennial curiosity lingers on. Once he gets an answer, he has other questions.” -Frederick Seitz (1911 - 2008)

“Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton asked why.” -Bernard Baruch (1870 - 1965)

“Be curious always! For knowledge will not acquire you; you must acquire it.” -Sudie Back (Sudie E. Back)

“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.” -Author Unknown

“Curiosity is a willing, a proud, an eager confession of ignorance.” -S. Leonard Rubinstein (Samuel Leonard Rubinstein (1922 - 2013)): “Writing: A Habit of Mind” (1972)

“A generous and elevated mind is distinguished by nothing more certainly than an eminent degree of curiosity.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“Not to know is bad; not to wish to know is worse.” -Author Unknown

“Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (12 March 1751)

“I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor ‘Eleanor’ Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“There are two sorts of curiosity - the momentary and the permanent. The momentary is concerned with the odd appearance on the surface of things. The permanent is attracted by the amazing and consecutive life that flows on beneath the surface of things.” -Robert Lynd (Robert Wilson Lynd (1879 - 1949))

“Curiosity is the one thing invincible in nature.” -Freya Stark (Freya Madeline Stark (1893 - 1993))

“The greatest virtue of man is perhaps curiosity.” -Anatole France (pseudonym of Jacques Anatole François Thibault (1844 - 1924))

“Curiosity killed the cat.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in the “Lose Angeles Times” (22 August 1901) newspaper

Overheard: ‘Curiosity killed the cat’ is a common saying, but until someone shows me the record of the incident, I shall be disinclined to believe it.

“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” -Carl Edward Sagan (1934 - 1996)

“Leave no stone unturned.” -Euripides (484 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says: ‘Leave no stone unturned.’” -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)

“Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness.” -Bryant McGill (born 1969)

“The true delight is in the finding out rather than in the knowing.” -Isaac Asimov (1919 - 1992)

“I would rather live in a world where life is surrounded by mystery, than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969): “Riverside Sermons”

“Look and you will find it - what is unsought will go undetected.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“The place where you lose the trail is not necessarily the place where it ends.” -Tom Brown, Junior

A ‘clue’ originally meant a ball of thread . . . hence, one ‘unravels’ the clues of a mystery.

Amy: Who crossed the road and left everyone wanting an explanation?
Eva: The chicken.

“The first and simplest emotion which we discover in the human mind, is curiosity.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

“Satisfaction of one’s curiosity is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life.” - Linus Pauling (1901 - 1994)

“Things that people learn purely out of curiosity can have a revolutionary effect on human affairs.” -Frederick Seitz (1911 - 2008): in an interview (3 September 1997) for the George C. Marshall Institute

“‘Curiouser and curiouser!’ cried Alice.” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Alice in Wonderland” (1865), Chapter II

“Isn’t it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive - it’s such an interesting world. It wouldn’t be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There’d be no scope for imagination then, would there?” -L. M. Montgomery (Lucy Maud Montgomery): “Anne of Green Gables” (June 1908), Chapter 2; line spoken by fictional character Anne

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . the website for anyone who has ever been told that he or she is a real curiosity . . .

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Fate and Free Will

5/26/2018

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“If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.” -Dolly Parton (born 1946)

“We each choose between two lives, the one given to us, and the one we can make.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“We are what we think. We are what we say. We are what we believe. We are what we do. So isn’t it wonderful that we are completely in charge of all that we are?” -Regina Cates

“There is no chance, no destiny, no fate that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.” -Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850 - 1919)

“Life is a compromise between fate and free will.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)): “A Thousand & One Epigrams: Selected from the Writings of Elbert Hubbard” (1911), page 36

“Your life is in your hands, to make of it what you choose.” -John Kehoe

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved.” -William Jennings Bryan (1860 - 1925): speech (22 February 1899) in Washington, District of Columbia, United States of America

“Create your own destiny, because if you don’t, others will.” -Author Unknown

“You can begin to shape your own destiny by the attitude that you keep.” -Michael Beckwith

“No fate, but what we make.” -Author Unknown

“Every man makes his own fate.” [Non-literal modern parlance]
“Every man is the architect of his own fortune.” [English translation]
“Faber est suae quisque fortunae.” [original Latin]
-Claudius (Appius Claudius Caecus (340 B.C.E. - 273 B.C.E.))

Cassius: Men at some time are masters of their fate:
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.
-William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Julius Caesar” (1599), Act 1, scene 2, line 138

“A wise man shall overrule his stars, and have a greater influence upon his own content than all the constellations and planets of the firmament.” -Jeremy Taylor (1613 - 1667): as quoted in Reginald Heber: “The Whole Works of the Right Rev. Jeremy Taylor” (1822), book IV, chapter II, section vi

“Your word is your magic wand. The words you speak create your own destiny.” -Florence Scovel Shinn (1871 - 1940)

“Destiny is all about the choices we make and the chances we take.” -Author Unknown

“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

“Man was predestined to have free will.” -Hal Lee Luyah

“Don’t let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do, or cannot achieve. Just don’t allow it. It’s wrong. It’s so wrong. Be what you want to be - and prove them wrong.” -Emma Watson (Emma Charlotte Duerre Watson (born 1990))

“We are not creatures of circumstance, we are creators of circumstance.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

“Up to a point a man’s life is shaped by environment, heredity, and movements and changes in the world about him. Then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be. Only the weak blame parents, their race, lack of good fortune, or the quirks of fate. Everyone has it within his power to say, ‘This I am today, that I will be tomorrow.’” -Louis L’Amour (Louis Dearborn LaMoore (1908 - 1988))

“We make our own fortunes and we call them fate.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881): “Miriam Alroy” (1870)

“A desire to be in charge of our own lives, a need for control, is born in each of us. It is essential to our mental health, and our success, that we take control.” -Robert F. Bennett

“No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently.” -Agnes de Mille (1905 - 1993)

“Just because fate doesn’t deal you the right cards, it doesn’t mean you should give up. It just means you have to play the cards you get to their maximum potential.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945))

“If fate means you to lose, give him a good fight anyhow.” -William McFee (1881 - 1966)

“The sin, both of men and of angels, was rendered possible by the fact that God gave them free will.” -C. S. Lewis (Clive Staples Lewis (1898 - 1963)): “Miracles” (1947)

“I am master of my own destiny, and I can make my life anything that I wish it to be.” -John Dennis McDonald (1906 - 1998)

“A man’s fate is his own temper; and according to that will be his opinion as to the particular manner in which the course of events is regulated. A consistent man believes in destiny - a capricious man in chance.” -Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881): “Vivian Grey” (1826), ‘A Visit to a Celebrated Diplomatist’

“You are the designer of your destiny. You are the author, you write the story, the pen is in your hand, and the outcome is whatever you choose.” -Abraham Hicks (via Esther Hicks (born 1948))

I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.
-William Ernest Henley (1849 - 1903): “Invictus” (1875); type of work: poem

“I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936))

“A belief in an unchangeable, fixed destiny is fatalism, which happens in the absence of hope and optimism.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Life will always be to a large extent what we ourselves make it.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904) (similar quotation attributed to William James and Henry James)

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The Winds of Fate

One ship drives east and another drives west
With the selfsame winds that blow.
     ‘Tis the set of the sails
     And not the gales
Which tells us the way to go.

Like the winds of the sea are the ways of fate;
As we voyage along through life,
     ‘Tis the set of a soul
     That decides its goal,
And not the calm or the strife.

-Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850 - 1919)

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Here’s a sigh to those who love me,
And a smile to those who hate;
And, whatever sky’s above me,
Here’s a heart for every fate.
-Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824)): “To Thomas Moore” (1817), stanza 2

“Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt (Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882 - 1945))

“Do not take the agenda that someone else has mapped out for your life.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“Freed, you are longer fated, and your free will takes you to places of your own choosing.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Man is not the creature of circumstances, circumstances are the creatures of man. We are free agents, and man is more powerful than matter.” -Benjamin Disraeli: “Vivian Grey” (1827), volume II, book VI, chapter 7

And now for your ‘Fate and Free-Will’ anagram: The letters in the word ‘predestination’ can be rearranged to spell the phrase ‘I pertain to ends.’

“Events will take their course, it is no good of being angry at them; he is happiest who wisely turns them to the best account.” -Euripides (about 484 B.C.E. - about 406 B.C.E.)

“He picked up the lemons that Fate had sent him and started a lemonade-stand.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)): “Selected Writings of Elbert Hubbard” (1922), page 237

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“A lobster, when left high and dry among the rock, has not instinct or energy enough to work his way back to the sea, but waits for the sea to come to him. If it does not come, he remains where he is and dies, although the slightest effort would enable him to reach the waves, which are perhaps within a yard of him. The world is full of human lobsters; men stranded on the rocks of indecision and procrastination, who, instead of putting forth their own energies, are waiting for some grand billow of good fortune to set them afloat.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1848 - 1924))

“Our destiny changes with our thought; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thought corresponds with our desire.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1848 - 1924))

“Some people succeed because they are destined but most because they are determined.” -Author Unknown

“Our history is not our destiny.” -Alan Cohen: as quoted in Eric Allenbaugh: “Wake-Up Calls: You Don’t Have to Sleepwalk Through Your Life, Love, or Career!”

“Control your own destiny or someone else will.” -Jack Welch (John Francis ‘Jack’ Welch, Junior (born 1935))

“Life consists not simply in what heredity and environment do to us, but in what we make out of what they do to us.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969)

“It is almost more important how a person takes his fate than what it is.” -Wilhelm von Humboldt (Friedrich Wilhelm Christian Karl Ferdinand Freiherr von Humboldt (1767 - 1835))

“We must believe in free will. We have no choice.” - Isaac Bashevis Singer (born Izaak Zynger (1902 - 1991))

“Personality, too, is destiny.” -Erik Erikson (1902 - 1994)

“If you don’t run your own life, somebody else will.” -John Atkinson

“My will shall shape my future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man’s doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny.” -Elaine Maxwell

“Be a creator of circumstances rather than just a creature of circumstances. Be proactive rather than reactive.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Whatever the place allocated us by providence, that is for us the post of honor and duty. God estimates us not by the position we are in, but by the way in which we fill it.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891) page 545

“If you don’t take charge of shaping your destiny, others will do it for you.” -Eric Allenbaugh

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” -Jimmy Dean

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . and we believe every adult should be free to decide their own destiny . . . because no human is the property of another.

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Wishes and Wishing

5/22/2018

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Have you ever made a wish and then blown dandelion tufts into the breeze?

“Make a wish . . . then make it happen!” -Author Unknown

“It is always wise to stop wishing for things long enough to enjoy the fragrance of those now flowering.” -Patrice Gifford

This one makes a net,
this one stands and wishes.
Would you like to make a bet -
which one gets the fishes?
-Author Unknown

“We will receive not what we idly wish for but what we justly earn. Our rewards will always be in exact proportion to our service.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“We can do whatever we wish to do, provided our wish is strong enough. But the tremendous effort needed - one doesn’t always want to make it - does one? . . . But what else can be done? What’s the alternative? What do you want most to do? That’s what I have to keep asking myself, in the face of difficulties.” -Katherine Mansfield (Katherine Mansfield Beauchamp Murry (1888 - 1923))

“Few wishes come true by themselves.” -Author Unknown

It’s your birthday . . . make a wish and blow out the candles!

“Work will win when wishy washy wishing won’t.” -Thomas S. Monson (born 1927)

“Stop saying, ‘I wish,’ and start saying, ‘I will.’” -Author Unknown

“You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don’t let yourself indulge in vain wishes.” -Rabindranath Tagore (1861 - 1941)

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Away with Wishing!

If wishing were being, we’d all be beautiful,
     Healthy and wealthy, wise and dutiful;
If wishing were having - what pleasure untold;
     With a heartful of joy and purseful of gold!

But wishes, alas! are but empty bubbles,
     And the longing heart may teem with troubles,
So idle wishing is vain, forsooth
     As the endless search for the fountain of youth.

But work that holds wealth may be had for the taking,
     Though it may not bring health, ’tis a balm for heart-aching;
And study makes wise, and love, people say,
     Gives the beauty that’s truest, which lasts for aye.

Then away with wishing; and ho! for labor!
     And ho! for love - each one for his neighbor!
For a life of labor and study and love
     Is the life that fits for the joy above.

-Emma C. Dowd

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“They told us not to wish in the first place, not to aspire, not to try; to be quiet, to play nice, to shoot low, and aspire not at all. They are always wrong. Follow your dreams. Make your wishes. Create the future. And above all, believe in yourself.” -J. Michael Straczynski

“Don’t wish for it . . . work for it!” -Author Unknown

“You don’t get what you want in life just by wishing.” -Author Unknown

“Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn’t spend half our time wishing.” -Alexander Woollcott (Alexander Humphreys Woollcott (1887 - 1943))

“Wishes are the echo of a lazy will.” -Author Unknown

“If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.” -Author Unknown

“You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936)): “Illusions” (1977)

When you are finally tired of putting Awesome Sauce on Nothing Burgers, visit 'MFOL!'

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Hopes and Dreams

5/21/2018

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“Everything begins as a dream.” -Author Unknown

“Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.” -Author Unknown

“Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945))

“The hopeful man sees success where others see failure; sunshine where others see shadows and storm.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“To accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” -Anatole France (pseudonym of Jacques Anatole François Thibault (1844 - 1924)): as quoted in Sidney Greenberg, editor: “Treasury of the Art of Living” (1964)

“Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Do all you can to make your dreams come true.” -Joel Osteen (born 1963)

“HOPE: Hanging Onto Positive Expectations.” -Author Unknown

“If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.” -Flavia Weedn (Flavia Marie Weedn (1929 - 2015)): “Flavia and the Dream Maker” (1998)

“Hope has two beautiful daughters, named Anger and Courage; Anger at the way things are, and Courage to change them.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430))

“Dreams come a size too big so you can grow into them.” -Author Unknown

“In all things it is better to hope than to despair.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Hold on to your dreams, for they are, in a sense, the stuff of which reality is made. It is through our dreams that we maintain the possibility of a better, more meaningful life.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

“The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope.” -Barbara Kingsolver (born 1955)

“No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t lose hope. When the Sun goes down, the stars come out.” -Author Unknown

“What steps could you take right now to begin turning your dreams into realities?” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Hope works for one reason: Those who believe something is possible will work toward achieving it and encourage others; those who believe something is not possible will give up, never begin, and disparage those who have hope.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.” -Dale E. Turner (1917 - 2006)

“While there’s life, there’s hope.” -Terence (Publius Terentius Afer (185 B.C.E. - 159 B.C.E.)): “Heuton timoroumenos,” line 981

“Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.” -John Updike (John Hoyer Updike (1932 - 2009))

“Hope doesn’t require a massive chain where heavy links of logic hold it together. A thin wire will do . . . just strong enough to get us through the night until the winds die down.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“Set out each day believing in your dreams. Know without a doubt that you were made for amazing things.” -Josh Hinds (Josh Stephen Hinds (born 1973))

“Hope, like the gleaming taper’s light,
Adorns and cheers our way;
And still, as darker grows the night,
Emits a brighter ray.”
-Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774): “The Captivity” (1764), Act II

“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.” -Christopher Reeve (Christopher D’Olier Reeve (1952 - 2004))

“Hope is necessary in every condition. The miseries of poverty, of sickness, or captivity, would, without this comfort, be insupportable; nor does it appear that the happiest lot of terrestrial existence can set us above the want of this general blessing; or that life, when the gifts of nature and of fortune are accumulated upon it, would not still be wretched, were it not elevated and delighted by the expectation of some new possession, of some enjoyment yet behind, by which the wish shall at last be satisfied, and the heart filled up to its utmost extent.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall at last unveil.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“When the world says, ‘Give up,’ Hope whispers, ‘Try one more time.’” -Author Unknown

“We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.” -Jesse Owens (1913 - 1980)

“Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.” -Leo J. Suenens (Leo Jozef Suenens (1904 - 1996))

“At the darkest moment comes the light.” -Joseph Campbell (1904 - 1987)

“Dreams are necessary to life.” -Anaïs Nin (Angela Anaïs Juana Antolina Rosa Edelmira Nin y Culmell (1903 - 1977))

“Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.” -Thornton Wilder (Thornton Niven Wilder (1897 - 1975))

“Dreams are the seedlings of realities.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.” -Thich Nhat Hanh (born 1926)

“It may be that those who do most, dream most.” -Stephen Butler Leacock (1869 - 1944)

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work; you don’t give up.” -Anne ‘Annie’ Lamott (born 1954)

“Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second. Give your dreams all you’ve got and you’ll marvel at the energy that comes out of you.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“Hope is a vigorous principle; it is furnished with light and heat to advise and execute; it sets the head and heart to work, and animates a man to do his utmost. And thus, by perpetually pushing and assurance, it puts a difficulty out of countenance, and makes a seeming impossibility give way.” -Jeremy Collier (1650 - 1726)

“I have had dreams and I have had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.” -Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995)

“The path to a dream is paved with sacrifices and lined with determination. And although it has many stumbling blocks along the way and may go in more than one direction, it is marked with faith. It is traveled by belief in you and others but requires courage, persistence, and hard work. It is conquered with a willingness to face challenges and take chances, to fail and try again and again. Along the way, you may have to confront doubts, setbacks, and unfairness. But when the path comes to an end, you will find that there is no greater joy than making your dream come true.” -Author Unknown

“Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940)

“It is good to dream, but it is better to dream and work. Faith is mighty, but action with faith is mightier. Desiring is helpful, but work and desire are invincible.” -Thomas Robert Gaines

“Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive. If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even where confidence is wounded, trust impaired.” -Erik Erikson (1902 - 1994)

“The only thing that stands in between you and your dreams is the will to try and the belief that it is actually possible.” -Joel Brown

“There is always hope.” -Author Unknown

“Miracles start to happen when you give as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears.” -Richard Wilkins

“A pocket full of hope is worthless if spent in all the wrong places on all the wrong people.” -S. L. Heaton (Shirley Heaton)

“Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.” -Author Unknown

“The hopes of men have been justly called waking dreams.” -Basil (C.E. 330 - C.E. 379): in a letter to Gregory of Nazianzus: as quoted in S. Baring-Gould (Sabine Baring-Gould (1834 - 1924)): “The Lives of the Saints” (1873)

“Of all the people I have ever known, those who have pursued their dreams and failed have lived a much more fulfilling life than those who have put their dreams on a shelf for fear of failure.” -Author Unknown

“Hope is like the Sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“At every crossroad, follow your dream. It is courageous to let your heart lead the way.” -Leland Thomas

“Never stop believing in hope because miracles happen every day.” -Author Unknown

“Dreams don’t work unless you do.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“Hope is as cheap as Despair.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2542

“Dreams can come true if you take the time to think about what you want in life.” -Author Unknown

“Practice hope. As hopefulness becomes a habit, you can achieve a permanently happy spirit.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“When you have a dream, you’ve got to grab it and never let go.” -Carol Burnett (Carol Creighton Burnett (born 1933))

“My hopes are not always realized, but I always hope.” -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18))

“Every moment is another chance to make your dreams come true.” -Author Unknown

“False hope is better than no hope at all.” -Author Unknown

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.” -J. K. Rowling (pseudonym of Joanne ‘Jo’ Rowling (1965)): “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” (1997)

“If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.” -Clement of Alexandria (also known as Titus Flavius Clemens (about C.E. 150 - about C.E. 215))

“Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away.” -Tom Clancy (Thomas Leo Clancy, Junior (1947 - 2013))

“Where there is no hope, there can be no endeavor.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (6 April 1751) journal

“All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“For hope is but the dream of those that wake.” -Matthew Prior (1664 - 1721): “Solomon on the Vanity of the World,” book iii, line 102

“All men of action are dreamers.” -James G. Huneker (James Gibbons Huneker (1860 - 1921))

“Trust your hopes, not your fears.” -David Mahoney

“Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.” -Author Unknown

“Hope is necessary in every condition. The miseries of poverty, sickness, of captivity, would, without this comfort, be insupportable.” -Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) “The Rambler” (1750 - 1752), number 67

“Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” -Gloria Steinem (born 1934)

“People too weak to follow their own dreams typically tend to find a way to discourage yours.” -Author Unknown

“Hope never abandons you; you abandon it.” -George Weinberg

“Dreams and wishes do not come true by themselves, but without dreams and wishes behind them, actions - and even life itself - can seem undirected and purposeless.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“If it were not for Hopes, the Heart would break.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2689

“Nothing happens unless first a dream.” -Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967)

“Everything that is done in the world is done by the hopeful. No matter your age. No matter your circumstances. No matter your financial wealth. Without hope, nothing is possible. But with hope . . . well . . . watch out.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Your dreams tell you what to do; your reason tells you how to do it.” -Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995)

“Hope is itself a species of happiness, and, perhaps, the chief happiness which this world affords.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832): “Faust,” lines 214 and 215, as translated by John Anster (1835)

“Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.” -Author Unknown

“All our dreams can come true - if we have the courage to pursue them.” -Walt Disney: as quoted in Pat Williams: “How to Be Like Walt: Capturing the Magic Every Day of Your Life” (2004), Chapter 3, ‘Imagination Unlimited,’ page 63

“Always chase your dreams instead of running from your fears.” -Author Unknown

“There is nothing like a dream to create the future.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . where our fondest ‘Hopes and Dreams’ are that you will visit us often . . . as you make your way toward all the good that life has in store for you . . .

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Best Wishes and Toasts

5/17/2018

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We wish you every happiness!

“I see only blue skies and green lights for you.” -Author Unknown

“May you never have to eat your hat.” -Author Unknown

Happy

Happy have we met,
     Happy have we been,
Happy may we part,
     And happy meet again.

-Author Unknown

“May every sunrise bring you hope, and may every sunset bring you peace.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

I Wish Thee

I wish thee health,
     I wish thee wealth,
I wish thee gold in store,
     I wish thee Heaven upon Earth -
What could I wish thee more?
     May your troubles be little ones.

-Author Unknown

“May your every good wish come true.” -Author Unknown

Imagine you are sending a congratulatory email, posting a message on someone’s page on a social networking website, making a dinner party or wedding toast, creating a home-made greeting card, calling a relative or business associate, signing a school yearbook . . . what would you write or say? In this ‘Best Wishes and Toasts’ topic on ‘MFOL!’ you will find examples.

If love were a raindrop, I would send you a shower.
If hope were a minute, I would send you an hour.
If happiness were a leaf, I would send you a tree.
If you need a friend, you will always have me!
-Author Unknown

May you have a long, fulfilling life.

A Toast to Us

A toast to us, my good round friends,
     To bless the things we eat;
For it has been full many a year
     Since we have seen our feet.
Yet who would lose a precious pound
     By trading sweets for sours?
It takes a mighty girth indeed
     To hold such hearts as ours.

-Wallace Irwin (1875 - 1959)

“May your strengths be greater than your weaknesses.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Be well.

“Live long and prosper.” -Spock (fictional character portrayed by actor Leonard Nimoy (1931 - 2015)): “Star Trek,” season 2, episode 1: “Amok Time” (1968); based on the “Star Trek” series created by Eugene Wesley ‘Gene’ Roddenbery (1921 - 1991)

Here’s to In-Laws

Here’s to bride and mother-in-law,
Here’s to groom and father-in-law,
Here’s to sister and brother-in-law,
Here’s to friends and friends-in-law,
May none of them need an attorney-at-law.

-Author Unknown

“May your life be as smooth as butter.” -Author Unknown

“I wish you all very good lives.” -Plutarch (C.E. 46 - C.E. 120)

The Mathematics of Life

May your life be like arithmetic:
Joys added,
Sorrows subtracted,
Friends multiplied,
Love un-divided,
Blessings to infinity.

-Author Unknown

“May you find a moment of joy in each day to come!” -Author Unknown

“May all of your horrible beginnings have wonderful endings.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

A Thanksgiving Day dinner toast -
Here’s to the day when first
The Yankees acknowledged
Heaven’s good gifts with Thank’ees.
-Author Unknown

“May your today be better than your yesterday, but not as good as your tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“To your health!” [English translation]
Sláinte! [original Irish Gaelic]
-Author Unknown

“May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you His favor and give you His peace.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Book of Numbers,’ chapter 6, verses 26 – 26

Take care!

“Long life to you.” [English translation]
“Fad saol agat.” [original Irish Gaelic]
-Author Unknown

Question: What is big and gray, and carries flowers to cheer you up when you do not feel well?
Answer: A Get-Well-Ephant!

“Here’s to the two great American birds! May you always have one on your table and the other in your pocket - the turkey and the eagle.” -Author Unknown

“May you fear no outer darkness, and know no lack of inner light.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“May God’s love be with you.” -Author Unknown

“May your life be so full of good people and good things that you never have to say goodbye to more than one of them at a time, so that no part of your life may ever be empty.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Blessed be.

“May the warmth of our affections survive the frosts of age.” -Author Unknown

“May your days be many and may you succeed in life beyond your greatest expectations!” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Get Well Soon!

I’m in a 10der mood 2day
& feel poetic, 2;
4 fun I’ll just - off a line
& send it off 2U.

I’m sorry you’ve been 6 o long;
Don’t B disconsol8;
But bear your ills with 42de,
& they won’t seem so gr8.

-Author Unknown

“Love many, trust a few, always paddle your own canoe!” -Author Unknown

“Hail wedded love, mysterious law, true source of human happiness.” -John Milton (1608 - 1674)

An Irish Blessing

May flowers always line your path
     and sunshine light your day.
May songbirds serenade you
    every step along the way.
May a rainbow run beside you
    in a sky that’s always blue.
And may happiness fill your heart
    each day your whole life through.

-Author Unknown

“May the rest of your life be the best of your life!” -Author Unknown

I wish you well in your endeavors.

“May we be alive at this time next year!” [English translation]
“Go mbeire muid beo ar an am seo aris!” [original Irish Gaelic]
-Author Unknown

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

I Wish You All the Happiness

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I hope your dreams will all come true
I hope you find what works for you
I hope you live and never die
I hope you spread your wings and fly

And if you ever need a friend
I’ll be right here ’round the bend
’Cause I got my eyes on you
And all the crazy things you do

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I hope you finally find your truth
I hope you hold onto your youth
I hope you pass your days with a smile
I hope you travel many miles

I hope you never feel the hurt
Of all the pain that’s buried in the dirt
I hope you always find the time
To be with those who ease your mind

And if you ever need a friend
I’ll be with you ’til the end
’Cause I got my eyes on you
And all the beauty inside you

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

I wish you all the happiness
You’ll ever need to get by

-Calvin Becker

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

We wish all good things for you.

“May the most you wish for be the least you get!” -Jay O’Brian

Ships

There are strong ships
And there are fast ships,
Among ships that sail the sea -
But the best ships
Are friendships.
So here’s to you,
And here’s to me,
Good friends may we always be.

-Author Unknown

Have a beautiful life.

“We never eat [to] anybody’s health, always drink [to] it. Why should we not stand up now and then and eat a tart to somebody’s success?” -Jerome K. Jerome (Jerome Klapka Jerome (1859 - 1927)): “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow: A Book for an Idle Holiday” (1892)

In your life, may everything be good.

May the blessings of each day
Be the blessings you need most.
-Author Unknown

May good things come your way!

“May the hinges of friendship never rust, or the wings of love lose a feather.” -Edward Bannerman Ramsey (1793 - 1872): “Reminiscences of Scottish Life: A Toast”

Overheard: I hope you always find always find a reason to smile!

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . may we all keep thinking happy thoughts until the Universe becomes positively radiant with them . . . wow, look at how sparkly it is!

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Tea

5/14/2018

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We saved a chair just for you . . .

“There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a nice cup of tea.” -Bernard-Paul Heroux

The tea plant, scientifically named ‘Camellia sinensis,’ is believed to have originated in the geographic area presently known as northern Myanmar (formerly called Burma), in northern India, and in the provinces of Yunnan and Sichuan of China.

“Come, let us have some tea and continue to talk about happy things.” -Chaim Potok

The tea plant is an evergreen, meaning that it has leaves throughout the year. Because growing tea plants from seed can be difficult, they are often grown from cuttings. The plants need about 3 years of growth before the leaves are ready to harvest, and will produce seeds after about 12 years. Tea plants can live for 25 to 100 years. If left untrimmed, the plants can grow to a height of 15 to 20 meters (about 49 to 66 feet). Cultivated plants are usually pruned to waist height for ease of harvesting. Just the top 2.5 to 5 centimeters (1 to 2 inches) of a mature plant, known as the flush, are picked to make tea. A new flush occurs about every 6 to 15 days during the growing season. The leaves on each plant range from fuzzy and white-haired to smooth and shiny.

“While there is tea, there is hope.” -Arthur Wing Pinero (1855 - 1934)

The more than 3,000 varieties of tea in the world are all derived from the leaf of the Camellia sinensis plant. The color and variety of tea comes from the way the tea leaves are processed, which produces the six major categories: white, green, yellow, black, oolong, and pu-erh. With so many kinds of tea, one cannot simply say, “Tea, please.” We have to be specific as to which one of the more than 3,000 varieties we are referring.

“What would the world do without tea? How did it exist? I am glad I was not born before tea.” -Sydney Smith: “Lady Holland’s Memoir” (1855), volume 1, page 383

White tea is usually regarded as the least processed type of tea. The leaves are harvested before they are fully open and while still covered in fine silvery-white hairs, which is what gives this category of tea the name ‘white tea.’ The white tea beverage is a light straw-color with a hint of sweetness and floweriness.

Kelly: Will you join me in a cup of tea?
Keith: Do you think there will be room enough for both of us?

Green tea is made by briefly steaming mature tea leaves immediately following their harvest. After steaming, the leaves are typically dried with hot air. The entire process prevents the leaves from fermenting or changing color, so that more of the phytonutrients, or plant nutrients, are retained, and the flavor is closer to that of freshly picked mature leaves than other categories of tea. Green tea has 50 percent more vitamin C than black tea. Brewed green tea is a pale yellowish-green color with a delicate flavor.

“Remember the tea kettle - it is always up to its neck in hot water, yet it still sings!” -Author Unknown

Yellow tea is made by steaming green tea leaves under mats or cloths to allow oxidation of the leaves, giving them a yellow tinge. The yellow tea beverage is a yellow or golden color, with less of the grassy flavor found in green teas.

Riddle: What starts with ‘t,’ ends with ‘t,’ and is full of ‘t’?
Solution: A teapot.

Black tea, called red tea in China, is prepared by spreading the leaves on racks and blowing air across them to remove about a third of their moisture. They are next rolled to release the juices for fermentation, and then spread out and kept under high humidity to allow fermentation. The process turns the leaves a dark color and develops the distinct flavor. Lastly, the leaves are fully dried. The black tea beverage is an amber or reddish-brown brew with a stronger flavor than green teas and oolong teas.

“Waiter to customer: ‘You’ll have to wait for your tea . . . someone else is using the bag.’” -Tom Wilson

Oolong tea is made from leaves that are partially fermented before being dried, with a level of processing that is partway between the amount of processing given to green teas and that given to black teas. The oolong tea beverage is greenish-brown color with a flavor richer than green tea and more delicate than black tea.

The Tea Party

I had a little tea party
     This afternoon at three.
’Twas very small -
     Three guests in all -
Just I, myself, and me.
     Myself ate all the sandwiches,
While I drank up the tea;
     ’Twas also I who ate the pie
And passed the cake to me.

-Jessica Nelson North (1891 - 1988)

Pu-erh is a category of tea that originated in the Yunnan province of China. Traditional ‘raw’ pu-erh tea is made of leaves that have been fermented and aged typically for 10 to 15 years, though sometimes for as long as 30 years or more. Modern ‘ripe’ pu-erh tea is made by a process that takes as little as a few months. The tea leaves for making pu-erh come compressed in a cake form, and the entire cake or a few of the leaves separated from a cake are used in brewing tea. The ripe pu-erh tea beverage is a deep-brown-red color and has a flavor that calls to mind dried fruit; if a prepared drink has an unpleasant aroma, it has been brewed from an inferior tea made by a process of fermentation in which the wrong type of mold has been used. The raw pu-erh tea beverage has a brownish-yellow color and an earthy aroma.

“Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea.” -Author Unknown

The word ‘tea’ is commonly used to describe any beverage that is prepared or served in a manner similar to the way tea is prepared or served. However, true ‘tea’ is made from the Camellia sinensis, or tea plant, and any beverage made from non-tea ingredients is not really tea, but is instead an ‘herbal infusion’ or ‘tisane’ (pronounced as ‘tea-zahn’). Tisane is often called ‘herbal tea.’ It is a beverage made by steeping herbs, spices, flowers, fruits, barks, and so forth, in boiling water. The term ‘herbal infusion’ refers to a drink made by steeping an herb in hot water. Herbal drinks are often thought of as conducive to physical and mental well-being, and are consumed for their supposed soothing or rejuvenating qualities. They also serve as a tea alternative for people who want to avoid caffeine. Chamomile, lemon verbena, fennel, ginger, peppermint, cinnamon, and rosehip are examples of names given to herbal drinks.

Maxine: What is a baby teapot’s favorite game?
Marlene: Pekoe-boo.

Blends are made by combining different types of teas, often in order to achieve flavor consistency from one season to the next. Common blends include English Breakfast, Earl Grey, Irish Breakfast, and Caravan.

I’m a Little Teapot

I’m a little teapot, short and stout,
Here is my handle, (place one hand on hip)
Here is my spout (bend opposite arm at elbow and wrist, with hand pointing out to make a spout).
When I get all steamed up, hear me shout;
Just tip me over, and pour me out! (lean over toward the ‘spout’ side)

by Clarence Kelley and George Harry Sanders (1939), Tin Pan Alley songwriters

What causes bad tea and how can bad tea be avoided? Horribly bitter tea can be the result of brewing or soaking the tea leaves too long in water. Dry tea leaves, tea in bags, instant tea, and the tea beverage made from them should not have an awful aroma, flavor, aftertaste, or odor; if they do, throw away the tea and switch to a different brand, lot, or supplier. With the possible exception of pu-erh tea, dry tea should be stored in tins (metal containers), jars, or other airtight containers. If dampness or moisture comes in contact with dry tea, mold or fungus can grow on it; discard any musty, moldy, or otherwise spoiled tea. For pu-erh tea, ask the seller or supplier how to best store it.

Peter: Why did the tea get away?
Paul: Because it was loose.

What do people put in their tea? Sugar, lemon juice, milk, and so forth. Tibetans, Mongolians, and some people in parts of western China put salt in their tea instead of sugar. In many Arabic nations, mint along with a generous amount of sugar is the flavoring of choice. In India, the spicy ‘masala tea’ is a popular beverage. It is made by boiling black tea with spices such as cardamom, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, and black or white pepper; milk and sugar are usually added as well. Beyond herbs and spices, the flavor craze has more recently spurred manufacturers to produce tea with just about every flavor imaginable, from peaches and cream to gingerbread.
________________________________________________________

Rhymes with Tea

Suggestion: Jot down any of the following short poems on paper and enclose it in an envelope with a bag or two of tea, to send a cheery note to someone you know.

I cannot sit and chat with you,
     The way I’d like to do.
So brew yourself a cup of tea,
     I’ll think of you, you think of me.

-[Your name or signature goes here]

A cup of tea to say, ‘thank you’
     For all the things you’ve done,
And wishes that the day will bring you
     Happiness and fun!

-[Your name or signature goes here]

If I could take your troubles,
     I would toss them in the sea.
But since I can’t, I’m sending you
     My favorite cup of tea.

-[Your name or signature goes here]
________________________________________________________

After water, tea is the second most consumed beverage in the world.

How to have a tea party: Find examples of invitations to a Tea Party on the internet. Print them or hand-write them on paper. Gather a few items: tea bags, cups and saucers, spoons, a flower and a vase, sugar, some kind of baked goods (cookies, crumpets, biscuits, toast, finger sandwiches, etc), butter and jam if needed, and whatever else your heart desires. Think up a few topics for conversation. Put out the invitations. Repeat on a regular basis. Watch as your garden of friends grows and blossoms.

Matthew: How does Moses make his tea?
Luke: ‘Hebrews’ it.

Tea that helps our head and heart.
     Tea medicates most every part.
Tea rejuvenates the very old.
     Tea warms the hands of those who’re cold.
-J. Jonker (about 1670)

“The people there gave us a certaine Drinke called Chaa, which is only water with akind of herbe boyled in itt. It must bee Drancke warme and is accompted wholesome.” -Peter Mundy: “Travels in Europe and Asia” (1637)

At Tea

Two maidens were seated at t,
Discussing the things that may b,
     “I think I’ll wed Willie,”
     Said Mollie to Millie,
“That is, if he asks me, you c.”

-Author Unknown

“Consider the used tea bag. You lift it, dripping, from the cup. Then, feeling somewhat inadequate, you search for a way to dispose of the thing gracefully. It tends to swing diabolically on its stirring, depositing drops of tea on the surroundings, so you try to keep your hand steady. Perhaps you choose the edge of your cake plate; in that case, you must quickly shove your slice of cake to the side before it gets soaked by the overflow. Or you may decide to sacrifice your napkin. Most likely, though, you plop the bag onto your saucer. Excess tea will then run into the well of the saucer, ready to drip from the bottom of the cup when you raise it to drink.” -Author Unknown: ‘Taming the Terrible Tea Bag,’ in “Consumer Reports” (March 1969), page 110

If you are cold, tea will warm you.
     If you are heated, it will cool you.
If you are depressed, it will cheer you.
     If you are excited, it will calm you.
-William Ewart Gladstone

This is 'MFOL!' . . . Reminding you that you can share the gift of laughter and so much more . . . and with the whole world in dire need . . . why not get started today?

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Health and Healthcare Practitioners

5/12/2018

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Why, yes, these are real doctors . . .

Patient: Doctor, can you give me something for my liver?
Doctor: Certainly - here is an onion!

Patient, on telephone: Doctor, there’s something very wrong with me. My head feels squashed, my voice sounds strange, I smell something peculiar, and one of my feet is cold. What could be wrong with me?
Doctor: You are probably wearing one of your socks on your head.

A doctor decided to take a week off from the pressures of his busy medical practice, and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling. Seconds later, a sheet of snow came crashing toward him. Fortunately, the doctor was able to jump into a cave just before the avalanche could overtake him. Just as luckily, he had matches with him and was able to light a fire. Hours later, when everyone but the doctor had returned to the lodge from a day of skiing, a rescue team was sent out to search for him. It was nearly dark when the searchers saw smoke curling from the cave and went to investigate. Poking his head in the cave, one of the rescuers yelled, “Doctor, are you in there? It’s the Red Cross.” Bristling, the harried doctor called back, “I already gave at the office!”

Doctor: Your pulse is as steady as a clock.
Patient: You have your hand on my wristwatch.

A man went to visit his doctor. “Doc, my arm hurts! Can you check it out?” The doctor rolled up the man’s sleeve and suddenly, the man’s arm started talking. “Hello, doctor,” said the arm. “Could you lend me twenty dollars, please? I’m desperate!” “Aha!” said the doctor. “I see the problem. Your arm is broke!”

Have you heard about the doctor who made enough money in his medical practice that he could occasionally tell a patient that there was nothing wrong with him?

A nurse was giving a young medical intern a tour of the hospital. The intern approached one bedridden patient and asked, “Why are you here?” The patient replied, “O my Luve’s like a red, red rose that’s newly sprung in June.” The intern moved on to the next bed and asked the same question, “Why are you here?” The patient answered, “Man’s inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn!” The intern moved on to a third bed and asked again, “Why are you here?” to which the third patient replied, “The best laid plans of mice and men may often gang awry.” At this, the intern turned to the nurse and asked, “What ward is this anyway?” The nurse answered, “It’s the Burns Unit.”

Doctor: Face the window, please. Now stick out your tongue.
Patient: Why do I have to face the window?
Doctor: Because I do not like the man next door.

If one doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does he doctor the doctor the way a doctor who doctors doctors doctors doctors?

Patient: Doctor, I feel like a pony!
Doctor: Do not worry - you are just a little hoarse!

Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news.
Patient: Tell me the bad news first.
Doctor: You have canary disease.
Patient: What is the good news?
Doctor: It is tweetable.

“The great secret of medicine, known to doctors but still hidden from the public, is that most things get better by themselves.” -Lewis Thomas

A man went to see his doctor. He was suffering from acute anxiety and seemed on the verge of a nervous breakdown. After the examination, the doctor went into the consultation room to discuss the case with the patient’s wife. “What your husband needs most of all is rest and quiet,” said the doctor. “These are tranquilizer pills. You should take one every three hours.”

Doctor: You cough sounds much better today.
Patient: It should - I stayed up all night practicing.

A man sat in a doctor’s office and kept up a strange litany: “I hope I am sick . . . I hope I am sick . . .” Another waiting patient asked, “Why do you want to be sick?” The man replied, “I would hate to be well and feel like this!”

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Doctor: Pull yourself together, man!

A typical American hospital has three to six times more employees than patients. So, the next time you go to the hospital, perhaps it should be to fill out an employment application.

Patient: Doctor, how long will my arm be in this cast?
Doctor: At least six weeks.
Patient: When you remove it, will I be able to play the violin?
Doctor: Of course.
Patient: That is great, because I could never play one before.

A woman rushed into a doctor’s office and shouted, “Doctor, I think I’m shrinking!” The doctor calmly responded, “Now settle down. You will just have to be a little patient.”

Doctor: The only person who actually enjoys poor health.

Farmer: Doctor, I have potatoes in my ears.
Doctor: How did that happen?
Farmer: I do not know - I planted carrots.

Have you heard about the doctor who wrote out a prescription in the usual doctor’s fashion? The patient used it for two years as a railroad pass. Twice it got him into Radio City Music Hall, and once into Yankee Stadium. It came in handy as a letter from his supervisor to the personnel director to increase his salary. And, to top it off, his daughter played it on the piano and won a scholarship to the Curtis Music Conservatory.

A man walked into a doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, Doctor, I have a strawberry growing on my arm!” The doctor replied, “I can give you some cream for that.”

Tonsillectomy

“Your tonsils, it seems, are too big,”
Said my doctor, and straightened his wig.
“There isn’t a doubt
That they’ll have to come out.”
And he giggled and danced a short jig.

-Author Unknown

“If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free.” -P. J. O’Rourke

Patient: Doctor, you have to help me!
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Patient: I have some coins stuck in my ear.
Doctor: How long have they been there?
Patient: A year.
Doctor: Why did you not come in sooner?
Patient: I did not need the money until now.

A quack is a doctor who ‘ducks’ the law.

Doctor’s office: A place where people who are run down wind up.

Stuart: “First I got tonsillitis, followed by appendicitis and pneumonia. After that, I got erysipelas with hemochromatosis. Following that, I got poliomyelitis, and finally, I ended up with neuritis. Then they gave me hypodermics and inoculations.”
Wallace: “Wow, you had a time!”
Stuart: “I’ll say! I thought I would never pull through that spelling test.”

Marcia: How do you know if you have Upside-Down Disease?
Marcy: You nose runs and your feet smell.

Mister Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you will have lost at least five pounds.” When Mr. Lee returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly sixty pounds. “Why, that is simply amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?” Mr. Lee nodded. “I will tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead on the third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” “No, from skipping.”

“A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb

“I cannot do the things I used to do,” a patient said to the doctor. “I wish you had some magic way of making me younger.” “You have it all wrong,” the doctor said. “My job is to see that you get older.”

A Brief History of Medicine: “Doctor, I have an ear ache.”
- “Here, eat this root.” (2000 B.C.E.)
- “That root is heathen; here, say this magic spell.” (1000 B.C.E.)
- “That magic spell is superstition, drink this potion.” (1850)
- “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.” (1940)
- “That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.” (1985)
- “That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.” (2000)

A doctor had worked out the vacation plans for the people he had working in his office. As they looked at the schedule, the doctor said, “All in favor, stick out your tongues and say, ‘Aaahhh.’”

Doctor: Have you ever had trouble with dyspepsia?
Patience: Only once.
Doctor: When was that?
Patient: When I tried to spell it.

“My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass.” -Leslie Grimutter (pseudonym of Terri Guillemets (born 1973))

A fellow walked into a doctor’s office, and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.” She took down his name, address, medical insurance number, and then told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.” She took down his height, weight, and medical history, and then told him to wait in the waiting room. Half an hour later, a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.” So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and then told him to take off his clothes and wait for the doctor. An hour later, the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.” The doctor said, “Where?” The man said, “Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?”

Patient: Doctor, how do I cure my sleepwalking?
Doctor: Put bubble-wrap on your bedroom floor.

“The best of healers is good cheer.” -Pindar: “Nemean Ode”

Patient: Doctor, do I have an underactive thyroid?
Doctor: No, just an overactive fork.

“If you ignore your health for long enough, it will go away.” -Author Unknown

Patient: “When I touch my tongue to aluminum foil wrapped around a balloon while leaning against my washing machine, I feel a peculiar tingling in my toes - what is wrong with me?”
Doctor: “You have too much spare time.”

Will doctors ever go from ‘practicing medicine’ to ‘doing medicine’?

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a yo-yo.
Doctor: Are you stringing me along?

“The best six doctors: sunshine, water, rest, air, exercise, diet.” -Wayne Fields

Patient on phone: I cannot sleep, Doctor. Can you do anything for me?
Doctor: Stay on the phone and I will sing you a lullaby.

“No families take so little medicine as those of doctors, except those of apothecaries*.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Junior (1841 - 1935): “Medical Essays”
*apothecaries are similar to pharmacists

A man walked into a doctor’s office and was sent immediately to an exam room. The doctor entered and looked him over. The man had a green bean sticking out of his left ear, a carrot sticking out of his right ear, and a celery stalk sticking out of one nostril. “Doc, it is just terrible, I am in awful shape - what do you think it could be that is the matter with me?” The doctor replied, “Well, for starters, you are not eating properly.”

“If you want to stay healthy, just follow my proven method: I am so poor that I cannot afford to be sick, and so busy that I don’t have time to be sick.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

A doctor was consulting with his patient. “I checked your symptoms on Google. If you want a second opinion, I’ll check with Yahoo.”

Patient: I think I’m losing my memory.
Doctor: When did it start?
Patient: When did what start?

“I wonder why you can always read a doctor’s bill but you can never read his prescription.” -Finley Peter Dunne (1867 - 1936)

Parent: Doctor, Doctor, my child has swallowed a pen!
Doctor: Do not worry - just use a pencil until I get there.

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. “Where are you hurting?” asked the doctor. “You have to help me, I hurt all over,” said the woman. “What do you mean, all over?” asked the doctor, “be a little more specific.” The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, “Oh, that hurts!” Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, “Ouch! That hurts, too.” Then she touched her right earlobe, “Even that hurts,” she cried. The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and then told her his diagnosis: “You have a broken finger.”

“First, do no harm.” [English translation]
“Primum non nocere.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown: “Hippocratic Oath”

A saintly Christian fellow went to the doctor for a medical checkup. He said to the doctor, “I feel terrible. I have excruciating pains in my head. Please tell me what is wrong with me.” “Let’s begin with a few questions,” said the doctor. “Do you drink much?” “Alcohol?” said the man. “I’m a teetotaler. Never touch a drop of that stuff.” “How about smoking?” asked the doctor. “Never,” replied the man. “Tobacco is bad and I have strong principles against it.” “Are you up late nights?” asked the doctor. “Oh, no,” said the man. “Worldliness is a sin. I’m against it. I am always in bed by 9:30 every night - always have been.” “I have seen this before,” said the doctor. “It just may be that your halo is on too tight.”

Doctor: You appear to have a cold.
Patient: Actually, I am just rehearsing for the part of Sneezy in “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”

“After these two, Dr. Diet and Dr. Quiet, Dr. Merriman is requisite to preserve health.” -James Howell (1593 - 1666)

Patient: Doctor, I think my eyesight is getting worse.
Clerk: It certainly is - this is a jewelry store!

“My stomach has been bothering me, Doctor,” complained the patient. “What have you been eating?” asked the doctor. “I only eat jelly beans.” “Jelly beans?!” exclaimed the astonished doctor. “Maybe that is the trouble. What kind do you eat?” “All kinds,” replied the man, “Red ones for breakfast, yellow and orange ones for lunch, blue ones for afternoon snacks, and purple and black for dinner.” “I see the problem,” said the doctor. “You haven’t been getting any greens!”

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking there are two of me.
Doctor: One at a time, please.

One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he had not been feeling well lately. The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor said, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after you eat lunch. Then, just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.” Surprised to be put on so much medicine, the man stammered, “Doc, exactly what is my ailment?” The doctor replied, “You are not drinking enough water.”

A doctor told a man that if he ran 5 miles a day for 300 days, he would lose 75 pounds. At the end of 300 days, the man called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. “What’s the problem?” asked the doctor. The man said, “I’m 1,500 miles from home.”

If these jokes are not making you feel better, it may be time to see your doctor, and if these jokes are making you feel better, it may be time to see your doctor - what do we know, we are not doctors and we do not give medical advice! This is ‘MFOL!’ . . .

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Employment and Work

5/10/2018

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“Work offers us the opportunity to discover who we are and what we can do.” -Author Unknown

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy;
All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy.
-Author Unknown

“Find something in life you can give the best of yourself to.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Personnel Director, speaking to new trainee: “. . . or, if you prefer, you can elect to skip coffee breaks entirely, and retire three years sooner.”

“Work is the basis of living. I’ll never retire. A man’ll rust out quicker than he’ll wear out.” -Harland Sanders

Employee: Sir, I’ve been with you for twenty-seven years, and I’ve never before asked for a raise.
Boss: That’s why you’ve been with me for twenty-seven years.

Worker’s Prayer

Now I get me up to work,
I pray the Lord I may not shirk.
If I should die before tonight,
I pray the Lord my work’s all right.

-Author Unknown

“It is the first of all problems for a man to find out what kind of work he is to do in this Universe.” -Thomas Carlyle: “Address at Edinburgh” (2 April 1866)

They laughed when they saw him put iodine on his paycheck. They didn’t know he had an awful cut in his salary.

“Don’t bother to boast of your work to others; good work speaks for itself.” -Author Unknown

Keep your eye on the ball, your shoulder to the wheel, and your ear to the ground - now try to work in that position.

“Thank God every morning when you get up that you have something to do that day which must be done, whether you like it or not. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you temperance and self-control, diligence and strength of will, cheerfulness and content, and a hundred virtues which the idle never know.” -Charles Kingsley

“Everything considered, work is less boring than amusing oneself.” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)

“I tell you, sir, the only safeguard of order and discipline in the modern world is a standardized worker with interchangeable parts. That would solve the entire problem of management.” -Jean Giraudoux

“The most important question to ask on the job is not, “What am I getting?” The most important question to ask on the job is, ‘What am I becoming?’” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009)): “Jim Rohn’s Weekly E-zine” (11 February 2003)

Let us realize that:
the privilege to work is a gift,
the power to work is a blessing,
the love of work is success!
-David O. McKay (David Oman McKay (1873 - 1970))

“Doctor Lillian Gilbreth, professor of management at Purdue University, studied women in a dress factory. Some of them were limp with fatigue; some bright-eyed and wide awake. Yet all the women had been working the same number of hours. Doctor Gilbreth found that most of the wide-awake ones had plans for the evening - a party or a date - and were anticipating a good time. The tired ones were those who had nothing to look forward to.” -Amy Selwyn: as quoted in “Coronet” magazine

A guy showed up late for work. The boss yelled, “You should’ve been here at 8:30!” The guy replied, “Why? What happened at 8:30?”

“Work banishes those three great evils: boredom, vice, and poverty.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“I have to take my paycheck to the bank. It’s too little to go by itself.” -Author Unknown

“It doesn’t matter whose payroll you are on, you are working for yourself.” -Author Unknown

A man said to his wife, “I don’t want to go to work today. It’s a jungle out there.” She said, “Don’t worry, I put a banana in your lunchbox.”

“The highest reward from your working is not what you get for it but what you become by it.” -Sydney J. Harris

The first United States Minimum Wage Law was instituted in 1938. The minimum wage was set at 25 cents per hour.

Boss: The person who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

“Labor, if it were not necessary for existence, would be indispensable for the happiness of man.” -Samuel Johnson

“There are two kinds of people: People who like their jobs, and people who don’t work here anymore.” -Author Unknown

“Work is either fun or drudgery. It depends on your attitude. I like fun.” -Colleen C. Barrett (born 1944)

“We spend most of our lives working. So why do so few people have a good time doing it?” -Richard Branson: as quoted in the “New York Times” (18 February 1993) newspaper

On the morning of the last day of school, Johnny’s mother went into his bedroom and hollered, “Wake up and get ready for school!” Johnny pulled the sheets up over his face and muttered, “Give me one good reason why I should go to school today.” His mother answered, “Well, for starters, you are the school principal.”

Workplace Sign: ‘2’ days without a Human Rights Violation!

“The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.” -James Baldwin (1924 - 1987)

“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.” -James Goldsmith (1933 - 1997)

“. . . a fair day’s wages for a fair day’s work.” -Author Unknown: as quoted by Alpheus Cary in a speech (7 October 1824) at Faneuil Hall, Boston, Massachusetts, United States of America

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom - I’ll show you how.”

“If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.” -Author Unknown

Career Advice

Don’t be
A jerk
At work.

-Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“There are no small jobs, only small people.” -Author Unknown

The following was found in an employee handbook: “Be thankful for your problems, because if they were less difficult, someone with less ability and lower pay would have your job.”

“What we do for a living does not matter as much as how we do it.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

The Fable of the Crow and the Rabbit.

A crow was sitting in a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground under the tree, and took his leisure. Suddenly, a fox appeared, pounced on the rabbit, and ate it. The moral of the story is, to be able to lounge around and do nothing all day, you must be sitting very, very high up.

-Author Unknown

“Give sail to ability.” -Author Unknown: Japanese proverb

Workplace Rules
1. The boss is always right.
2. When the boss is wrong, refer to Rule 1.

So, you are thinking of becoming a comedian, musician, artist, song writer, actor, inventor, poet . . . these are interesting ‘sidelines,’ but as they say, “Don’t quit your day job,” because you will need a means to support yourself while you pursue your creative ideas, and that means having a ‘real job’ with a real income that pays the rent and puts food on the table during the years it will take for you to develop a talent and years it will take for you to be discovered. Yes, you should definitely pursue your dreams - while continuing to work at the job that provides you with an income.

“Business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before important meetings.” -Scott Adams

A meeting was in progress when all the lights went out. The department head asked everyone present to raise their hands. As soon as everyone complied, the lights went on again. The department head said, “We have just proved the truth of the saying, ‘Many hands make light work.’”

“Without work, all life goes rotten.” -Albert Camus

Desk: A waste-paper basket with drawers.

“Don’t let your superiors know that you are better than they are.” -Arthur Bloch

Overheard: When I asked for a work break, my supervisor said, “You don’t need a break. We gave you one when we hired you.”

Boss to new employee: Amazing - you’ve been with us only two days and already you’re a month behind.

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The Man Who Gets Promoted

The ordinary fellow does an ordinary task,
     He’s mighty fond of ‘good enough’ and lets it go at that;
But the chap who gets promoted, or the raise he doesn’t ask,
     Has just a little something more than hair beneath his hat.

The ordinary fellow lives an ordinary day,
     With the ordinary fellow he is anxious to be quit;
But the chap who draws attention and the larger weekly pay,
     Has a vision for the future and is working hard for it.

He tackles every problem with the will to see it through,
     He does a little thinking of the work that comes to hand;
His eyes are always open for the more that he can do,
     You never find him idle, merely waiting a command.

The ordinary fellow does precisely as he’s told,
     But someone has to tell him what to do, and how, and when;
But the chap who gets promoted fills the job he has to hold
     With just a little something more than ordinary men.

-Edgar A. Guest: “The Passing Throng” (1923)

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Overheard: At the end of each shift, we tell all of our employees, “You are fired. Come back tomorrow morning, and we’ll re-hire you.”

“There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes.” -William J. Bennett

The boss joined a group of workers in a meeting and told some jokes he’d heard recently. Everybody laughed loudly. Everybody, that is, except Bonnie. When the boss noticed that he was getting no reaction from Bonnie, he said, “What’s the matter, Bonnie? No sense of humor?” “My sense of humor is fine,” she said. “But I don’t have to laugh. I’m starting a job with another company tomorrow.”

Employee Breakroom Notice: Your Mother Does Not Work Here, So You Will Have To Clean Up Your Own Messes.

Work: Something to do between weekends.

“By 1960, work will be limited to three hours a day.” -John Langdon-Davies (1897 - 1971)

Overheard: I was thinking that with a few more deductions, my take-home pay wouldn’t be enough to get me there. Then, it finally happened - the deductions and withholdings have now exceeded my earnings, and last week, the company didn’t send me a pay check, they sent me a bill!

“I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth, even if it costs them their jobs.” -Samuel Goldwyn

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A manager let employees know how valuable they are with the following memo:

You Arx A Kxy Pxrson

Xvxn though my typxwritxr is an old modxl, it works vxry wxll - xxcxpt for onx kxy. You would think that with all thx othxer kxys functioning propxrly, onx kxy not working would hardly bx noticxd; but just onx kxy out of whack sxxms to ruin thx wholx xffort.

You may say to yoursxlf - Wxll, I’m only onx pxrson. No onx will noticx if I don’t do my bxst. But it doxs makx a diffxrxncx, bxcausx an xffxctivx organization nxxds activx participation by xvxry onx to thx bxst of his or hxr ability.

So, thx nxxt timx you think you arx not important, rxmxmbxr my old typxwritxr. You arx a kxy pxrson.

-Thx Boss

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“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” -Peter Drucker

“You don’t get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“A human being must have occupation, if he or she is not to become a nuisance to the world.” -Dorothy L. Sayers (1893 - 1957): “Are Women Human?” (1938); type of work: address given to a women’s society

“Variety may be the spice of life, but monotony provides the groceries.” -Author Unknown

“Work is more fun than fun.” -Noël Coward (1899 - 1973)

Well, it is time to go to work again . . . we hope to see you back here at ‘MFOL!’ right after your shift ends . . .

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Happiness

5/9/2018

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Do more of what makes you happy . . . like writing messages on foggy windows with your fingers . . .

“Happiness walks on busy feet.” -Kitte Turmell

“The world is full of happiness, and plenty to go round, if you are only willing to take the kind that comes your way.” -Jean Webster: “Daddy-Long-Legs” (1912)

“He alone is the happy man who has learned to extract happiness not from ideal conditions but from actual ones about him.” -Author Unknown

“A happy life is built up of little clumps of violets noticed along the roadside.” -Author Unknown

“On the whole, the happiest people seem to be those who have no particular cause for being happy except that they are so.” -William R. Inge (William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954))

“Find your own happiness . . . it’s not the same for everyone.” -Author Unknown

Cheerfulness

I’m glad the sky is painted blue
And the Earth is painted green
And such a lot of nice fresh air
All sandwiched in between.

-Author Unknown

“The secret of happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles.” -Author Unknown

“Happiness begins in facing life with a smile and a wink.” -Author Unknown

“The best way to secure future happiness is to be as happy as is rightfully possible today.” -Charles W. Eliot

“The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719)

“Happiness is a choice.” -Barry Neill Kaufman

“The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime.” -Author Unknown

“You have it easily in your power to increase the total sum of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“Happiness seems made to be shared.” [English translation]
“Le bonheur semble fait pour être partagé.” [original French]
-Pierre Corneille (1606 - 1684): “Notes par Rochefoucauld”

“Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect; it just means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.” -Author Unknown

“Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it.” -Jacques Prévert (1900 - 1977)

“Happiness will bring you good luck.” -Author Unknown: fortune cookie saying

“Too happy would you be, did you but know your own advantages.” -Vergil (Publius Vergilius Maro, also known as Virgil (70 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.))

“It’s being so cheerful as keeps me going.” -Mona Lott’s catch phrase on “ITMA” (1939 - 1949), a BBC radio program

“Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passed.” -Author Unknown

“A lot of happiness is overlooked because it doesn’t cost anything.” -Author Unknown

“Whoever is happy will make others happy too.” -Anne Frank (1929 - 1945): “The Diary of a Young Girl” (1952)

“Not only is there a right to be happy, there is a duty to be happy. So much sadness exists in the world that we are all under obligation to contribute as much joy as lies within our powers.” -John Sutherland Bonnell

“You do not find a happy life. You make it.” -Camilla E. Kimball (Camilla Eyring Kimball (1894 - 1987))

“To be happy you must be your sunshine.” -C. E. Jerningham

“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Look at the trees, look at the birds, look at the clouds, look at the stars . . . and if you have eyes you will be able to see that the whole existence is joyful. Everything is simply happy. Trees are happy for no reason; they are not going to become prime ministers or presidents and they are not going to become rich and they will never have any bank balance. Look at the flowers - for no reason. It is simply unbelievable how happy flowers are.” -Osho (Rajneesh Chandra Mohan Jain)

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” -Teresa of Calcutta (also known as Mother Teresa (1910 - 1997))

“Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies.” -Gene Hill

“Now happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature: it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool.” -John Mason Good (1764 - 1827): “The Book of Nature” (1826), Series III, Lecture VII

“Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.” -Frank Baer

“Happiness! Can any human being undertake to define it for another?” -Dinah Craik (Dinah Maria Craik (1826 - 1887)): “A Woman’s Thoughts about Women” (1858), Chapter 10

“I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.” -Martha Washington (1731 - 1802)

“Happiness is a way-station between too little and too much.” -Channing Pollock (1880 - 1946)

“To me there is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” -Robert Louis Stevenson (Robert Louis Balfour Stevenson (1850 - 1894))

“How true it is that, if we are cheerful and contented, all nature smiles, the air seems more balmy, the sky clearer, the Earth has a brighter green . . . the flowers are more fragrant . . . and the Sun, Moon, and stars all appear more beautiful, and seem to rejoice with us.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“True happiness consists in making others happy.” -Author Unknown

“Happiness is simply a habit of looking on the brighter side of everything.” -Richelle E. Goodrich: “Smile Anyway: Quotes, Verse, & Grumblings for Every Day of the Year” (5 December 2013)

“The happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.” -Judith May

“Happiness is in the heart, not in circumstances or in things.” -Author Unknown

“Folks are generally as happy as they make up their minds to be.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“Spread happiness; a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” -Author Unknown

“Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.” -William Cowper (1731 - 1800): “Task,” book III, line 41

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180))

“If you ever find happiness hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, on her nose all the time.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))
(spectacles: eyeglasses)

“To find out what one is fitted to do, and to secure an opportunity to do it, is the key to happiness.” -John Dewey (1859 - 1952)

“People need joy. Quite as much as clothing. Some of them need it far more.” -Margaret Collier Graham

“Happiness springs from intense activity in congenial surroundings.” -Harold Nicholson

“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” -Author Unknown: “Holy Bible,” (King James Version (1611)), ‘The Book of Proverbs,’ chapter 17, verse 22

“There is no happiness except in the realization that we have accomplished something.” -Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings.” -Elizabeth Gilbert: “Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, Indonesia, and India” (16 February 2006) book

“Happiness is not the acquisition of anything; it’s the understanding of something.” -Vernon Howard

“Jumping for joy is good exercise.” -Author Unknown

“Happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it is too late.” -Robert R. Updegraff

“Cheerful people, the doctors say, resist disease better than glum people. In other words, ‘The surly bird catches the germ.’” -Author Unknown

“Happiness belongs to those who are sufficient unto themselves. For all external sources of happiness and pleasure, are by their very nature, highly uncertain, precarious, ephemeral, and subject to chance.” -Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860)

“We deem those happy who, from the experience of life, have learned to bear its ills, without being overcome by them.” [English translation]
“Ducimus autem hos quoque felices, qui ferre incommoda vitæ, nec jactare jugum vita didicere magistra.” [original Latin]
-Juvenal (Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis (about C.E. 55 - C.E. 130)): “Satires,” XII, 20

“Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions; it is governed by our mental attitude.” -Dale Carnegie (1888 - 1955)

“The greatest happiness is to be that which one is.” -Theodore Herzl

“A single joy can scatter a hundred griefs.” -Author Unknown

“Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” -Guillaume Apollinaire (Wilhelm Apollinaris de Dostrowitsky (1880 - 1918))

“A light heart lives long.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

“The great end of all human industry is the attainment of happiness. For this were arts invented, sciences cultivated, laws ordained, and societies modelled, by the most profound wisdom of patriots and legislators. Even the lonely savage, who lies exposed to the inclemency of the elements and the fury of wild beasts, forgets not, for a moment, this grand object, of his being.” -David Hume (1711 - 1776): “The Stoic,” ‘Essays, Moral, Political and Literary,’ part 1, essay 16, as published in “The Philosophical Works of David Hume” (1826), volume 3, page 167

“Happiness is a direction and not a place.” -Sydney J. Harris (1917 - 1986)

“The happy people are those who are producing something; the bored people are those who are consuming much and producing nothing.” -William R. Inge (William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954))

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” -Frederick Koenig

“The path to cheerfulness is to sit cheerfully and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1788))

“Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.” -Steve Maraboli (born 1975)

“Happiness is not perfected until it is shared.” -Jane Porter (1776 - 1850)

“What is happiness and unhappiness? It depends so little on the circumstances; it depends really only on what happens inside a person. I am grateful for every day . . . and that makes me happy.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906 - 1945)

“The happiest people are the ones who make others happy.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t wait for things to get easier, simpler, better. Life will always be complicated. Learn to be happy right now. Otherwise, you’ll run out of time.” -Author Unknown

“Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.” -Bernard Meltzer (Bernard C. Meltzer (1916 - 1998))

“When you seek happiness for others, you will find it for yourself.” -Lori Moreno

“The happiest people are those who think the most interesting thoughts. Those who decide to use leisure as a means of mental development, who love good music, good books, good pictures, good company, good conversation, are the happiest people in the world. And they are not only happy in themselves, they are the cause of happiness in others.” - William L. Phelps (William Lyon Phelps (1865 - 1943))

“The secret of happiness is something to do.” -John Burroughs (1837 - 1921)

“Resolve to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845)

“If you observe a really happy man, you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden, or looking for dinosaur eggs in the Gobi desert. He will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar button that has rolled under the radiator. He will not be striving for it as if it were a goal in itself, nor will he be seeking for it among the nebulous wastes of metaphysics . . . To find happiness, we must seek for it in a focus outside ourselves.” -W. Beran Wolfe

“Act as if you were already happy, and that will tend to make you happy.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“To be happy, make other people happy.” -W. Clement Stone (William Clement Stone (1902 - 2002))

“The road to happiness lies in two simple principles: find what it is that interests you and that you can do well, and when you find it, put your whole soul into it; every bit of energy and ambition and natural ability you have.” -John D. Rockefeller III (John Davison Rockefeller III (1906 - 1978))

“I do not know of any sure way of making others happy as being so oneself.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875)

“Be happy. It’s one way of being wise.” -Sidonie Gabrielle Colette (1873 - 1954)

“The joy that you give to others is the joy that comes back to you.” -John Greenleaf Whittier (1807 - 1892)

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . now you can be giddy every day, and spread the merriment! We were so happy while working on this topic that we had to check periodically to be sure that our feet were still on the ground!

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Failures and Successes

5/7/2018

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Violet: May I ask you the secret of your success?
Iris: There is no easy street. You simply jump at your opportunity.
Violet: But how can I tell when my opportunity comes?
Iris: You can’t. You’ve just got to keep on jumping.

“The only thing that separates successful people from the ones who aren’t is the willingness to work very, very hard.” -Helen Gurley Brown (1922 - 2012)

“There is no point at which you can say, ‘Well, I’m successful now, I might as well take a nap.’” -Carrie Fisher (born 1956)

“The secret of success is the ability to survive failure.” -Noël Coward (1899 - 1973)

“In public, we say the race is to the strongest; in private, we know that a lopsided man runs the fastest along the little side hills of success.” -Frank M. Colby

“I am not a failure if I don’t succeed; I am successful because I tried.” -Susan Jeffers (1938 - 2012))

“You never become a howling success by just howling.” -Bob Harrington (1950 - 1992)

“The secret of success is to triple your rate of failure.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“How can they say my life isn’t a success? Have I not for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?” -Logan Pearsall Smith (1865 - 1946)

“Success is not about ‘who you know,’ but rather ‘who knows you.’” -Author Unknown

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try a grin!” -Author Unknown

“You are the only person who can really label what you do as a success or a failure.” -Author Unknown

“Failures and setbacks are ingredients for a great success story.” -Author Unknown

“Successful and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities. They vary in their desires to reach their potential.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (1947))

Judgement

Before God’s footstool to confess
A poor soul knelt, and bowed his head;
“I failed,” he cried. The Master said,
“Thou didst thy best - that is success!”

-Author Unknown

“Drifting through life without aim or purpose is the first cause of failure.” -Author Unknown

“I owe all my success in life to having been always a quarter of an hour beforehand.” -Horatio Nelson (1758 - 1805)

“Success is difficult, it requires enormous effort. Those who can work through the struggle become successful.” -Jackie Joyner

“Success and failure. We think of them as opposites, but they’re really not. They’re companions - the hero and the sidekick.” -Laurence Shames

“No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road, turn back.” -Author Unknown: Turkish proverb

“If at first you don’t succeed, you’re running about average.” -M. H. Alderson

“Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.” -Christopher Lasch

If I should win, let it be by the code,
With my faith and my honor held high,
But if I should lose, let me be the first to stand by the road,
And cheer as the winner walks by.
-Sam Haskell: “Promises I Made My Mother”

“What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?” -Robert Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“For success, take the ‘t’ out of can’t.” -Author Unknown

“Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“Success: All it takes is all you’ve got.” -Author Unknown

“Notice the difference between what happens when a man says to himself, ‘I have failed three times,’ and what happens when he says, ‘I am a failure.’” -S. I. Hayakawa (Samuel Ichiye Hayakawa (1906 - 1992))

“Success is the maximum utilization of the ability that you have.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Success comes in cans; failure comes in can’ts.” -Author Unknown

“Success comes to many men because they were deprived of advantages others had.” -Author Unknown

“Failure is the path of least persistence.” -Author Unknown

“Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do.” -Author Unknown

“The next best thing to winning is losing! At least you’ve been in the race.” -Nellie Hershey Tullis

“The secret to success is to start from scratch and keep on scratching.” -Author Unknown

“Keep steadily before you the fact that all true success depends at last upon yourself.” -Theodore T. Hunger

“Failure is the first step towards success.” -Author Unknown

“The toughest part of getting to the top of the ladder is getting through the crowd at the bottom.” -Author Unknown

“Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“Failures are the stepping stones by which we reach success.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.” -Lloyd Jones

“Achieve success in any area of life by identifying the optimum strategies
and repeating them until they become habits.” -Charles J. Givens

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888 - 1955))

“Ninety-nine percent of success is built on failure.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day, while failure is simply a few errors in judgement, repeated every day. It is the accumulative weight of our disciplines and our judgements that leads us to either fortune or failure.” -Author Unknown

“The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail.” -Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970)

“Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying the basic fundamentals.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“The common idea that success spoils people by making them vain, egotistic, and self-complacent is erroneous; on the contrary it makes them, for the most part, humble, tolerant, and kind. Failure makes people bitter and cruel.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)): “The Summing Up” (1938), page 182

“If at first you do succeed, try something harder.” -Ann Landers (Esther Pauline Friedman Lederer (1918 - 2002))

“You always pass failure on the way to success.” -Mickey Rooney (1920 - 2014)

“The most unfortunate thing that happens to a person who fears failure is that he limits himself by becoming afraid to try anything new.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

“One fails forward toward success.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“An Unfailing Success Plan: At each day’s end write down the six most important things to do tomorrow; number them in order of importance, and then do them.” -Author Unknown

“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently.” -Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)

“Failure is success if we learn from it.” -Malcolm S. Forbes (Malcolm Stevenson Forbes (1919 - 1990))

“Ask yourself the secret of your success. Listen to your answer, and practice it.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“Failure is not falling down; failure is when you don’t get back up.” -Author Unknown

“For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Book of Proverbs,’ chapter 24, verse 16

“Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall.” -Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774)

“Failure? I never encountered it. All I ever met were temporary setbacks.” -Dottie Walters

“One of the commonest mistakes and one of the costliest is thinking that success is due to some genius, some magic - something or other which we do not possess. Success is generally due to holding on, and failure to letting go. You decide to learn a language, study music, take a course of reading, train yourself physically. Will it be success or failure? It depends upon how much pluck and perseverance that word ‘decide’ contains. The decision that nothing can overrule, the grip that nothing can detach will bring success. Remember the Chinese proverb, ‘With time and patience, the mulberry leaf becomes satin.’” -Maltbie D. Babcock (Maltbie Davenport Babcock (1858 - 1901))

“Failure is an event, never a person.” -William D. Brown: “Welcome Stress!” (1983)

“We are all self-made but only the successful admit it.” -Author Unknown

“Failure is God’s way of saying, ‘Excuse me, you’re moving in the wrong direction.’” -Author Unknown

“The most successful people are not necessarily the most popular.” -Author Unknown

“There is only one success . . . to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)): “Where the Blue Begins” (1922)

Failure itself can be a success if 3 questions are answered:
1. What happened?
2. What caused it?
3. What can I learn from this experience?
-H. Stephen Glenn

“If you could find out what the most successful people did in any area and then you did the same thing over and over, you’d eventually get the same results they do.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“You have to look successful in order to be successful.” -Author Unknown

“He who has never failed somewhere, that man cannot be great.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)

“Success consists of doing the common things of life uncommonly well.” -Author Unknown

“I couldn’t wait for success . . . so I went ahead without it.” -Jonathan Winters (Jonathan Harshman Winters III (1925 - 2013))

“People don’t fail, they give up.” -Author Unknown

“It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.” -Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970)

“Behind every success is a succession of failures.” -Rick Beneteau

“I can give you a six-word formula for success: ‘Think things through - then follow through.’” -Eddie Rickenbacker (1890 - 1973)

“If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” -Mary Pickford (Gladys Louise Smith (1893 - 1979))

“Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.” -Joyce Brothers (1927 - 2013)

“Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” -Louis E. Boone (Louis Eugene Boone (1941 - 2005))

“Success isn’t how far you get, but the distance you travel from where you start.” -Author Unknown

“If you fail, never give up, because FAIL means First Attempt In Learning. End is not the end. END means Effort Never Dies. If you get no as an answer, remember NO means Next Opportunity. Positive thinking!” -Author Unknown

“What is called failure is still partial success, because you tried - and success can come only through trying. To achieve complete success, you just need to keep trying.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Behind every successful man there are a lot of unsuccessful years.” -Bob Brown

“Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” -George S. Patton (George Smith Patton, Junior (1885 - 1945))

“It is infinitely more exciting to live a life of catastrophic failures than a life of could-haves, should-haves, and would-haves.” -M. H. Meng

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“All successful people have the habit of doing the things failures don’t like to do. They don’t like doing them either necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose.” -Albert E. Gray

“Success is dependent on effort.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me.” - Howard Nemerov (1920 - 1991)

“Association influences success. Be with the right people, not the crowd.” -Moses Simuyemba

“A failure is not always a mistake; it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.” -B. F. Skinner

“You are successful the moment you start moving toward a worthwhile goal.” -Charles Carlson

Thank you for visiting ‘MFOL!’ . . . because you are the best part of our day!

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Numbers and Counting

5/5/2018

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Maybe numbers are not so scary after all . . .

Candace: What is the number 2’s favorite day of the week?
Ophelia: Twosday!

Counting

Here I come number one
Like an ostrich I can run
Here I come number two
Bouncing like a kangaroo
Here I come number three
Squich, squich, squich like a chimpanzee
Here I come number four
Like a lion I can roar
Here I come number five
Teach the elephants how to jive
Here I come number six
Monkeys doing lots of tricks
Here I come number seven
Eagles soar up to Heaven
Here I come number eight
Flamingoes stand so tall and straight
Here I come number nine
Penguins marching in a line
Here I come number ten
The animals shout, “Let’s begin again!”

-Author Unknown

One: Slightly more than none.

If you were to start counting right now nonstop for twenty-four hours every day, you would be over 31,000 years old by the time you counted up to one trillion. 1, 2, 3, 4 . . . did we mention that you would also be very sleepy, since you would be counting twenty-four hours a day without sleep?

The Garden

One, two, three,
The garden is growing.
Four, five, six,
Now it needs hoeing.
Seven, eight, nine,
Down go the weeds.
Ten, eleven, twelve,
Water it needs.
Thirteen, fourteen,
Here comes a shower.
Fifteen, sixteen,
A carrot and a flower!

-Author Unknown

Can you imagine trying to count without numbers?

The number 4 is the only number in the English language that has the same number of letters in its name as in its meaning.

“Lots of people can’t count to 10. They are usually the ones in front of you in the supermarket express lane.” -Sam Ewing (1920 - 2001): as quoted in “The Saturday Evening Post” (29 November 1996)

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Want.
Want, who?
Good, now try counting to three!

“Some people say one is the loneliest number, but it also must be a very brave and strong little number to stand all on its own.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

Problem: On your way to Clown College, you count twenty houses on your right, and on your way home, you count twenty houses on your left. How many houses have you counted in total?
Solution: Twenty, because you counted the same houses both times.

Mary: You know what’s odd?
Paul: Every other number?

Our modern-day system of numbers is often erroneously called ‘Arabic numerals,’ but they were invented in India by Arya Bhatta, so to be accurate and give proper credit where it is due, they must be called ‘Indian numerals.’

Number Poem

Down you run and 1 is done.
Around, and down, and out go you,
That’s the way to make a 2.
Around, and around, just like a bee,
That’s the way to make a 3.
Down, across, and down once more,
That’s the way to make a 4.
Short neck, belly fat,
Number 5 wears a hat.
Down, around, in a circle you go,
That’s a six, just as you know.
Straight across, slide down from Heaven,
That’s the way to make a 7.
First a snake, then come back straight,
That’s the way to make an 8.
First a ball and then a line,
That’s the way to make a 9.
Tall straight, circle then,
That’s the way to make a 10.

-Author Unknown

Zero is the first and only number that contains a letter ‘z.’ Please note that although ‘zillion’ also contains a z, it is not an actual number, but a term for a vague, undefined large quantity.

Randy: Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Randall: Because 7, 8, 9!

There once was a town in West Virginia, United States of America called ‘6.’

Take a Number

Imagine a world
Without mathematics
No rulers or scales
No inches or feet
No dates or numbers
On house or street
No prices or weights
No determining heights
No hours running through
Days and nights
No zero, no birthdays
No way to subtract
All of the guesswork
Surrounding the fact
No sizes for shoes
Or suit or hat
Wouldn’t it be awful
To live like that?

-Mary O’Neill

Zero: A nice round number.

A simpleton was watching the news with her friend. The newscaster said, “There was a plane crash today. Seven Austrian men and two Brazilian men are among the confirmed casualties.” The simpleton turned to her friend and said, “Oh my goodness! What a disaster! How many are in a Brazilian?”

What comes after a million, a billion, and a trillion? A quadrillion, a quintillion, a sextillion, a septillion, an octillion, a nonillion, a decillion, and an undecillion.

There are three types of people: those who know how to count, and those who do not.

Why is ‘quite a few’ the same as ‘quite a lot’?

One ‘googol’ is the number 1 followed by 100 zeros. A ‘googolplex’ is the number 1 followed by a googol zeros, a number so ridiculously big that it cannot be written down, because there is not enough room in the Universe to fit it in. In fact, one googolplex is a number so big that there is not even enough matter in the Universe to form all the zeros in it.

Great and Fine

Zero, two, four, six, eight:
Being even is just great!
One, three, five, seven, nine:
Being odd is just fine!

-Author Unknown

Infinity is an endless quantity that goes on forever. Infinity cannot be reached. Infinity cannot be measured. Infinity is not growing; it is already fully formed. The ‘lemniscate’ is the symbol for infinity. It looks like a number eight that has fallen over or is resting on its side, and for this reason, some people call it a ‘lazy eight.’

According to the latest news, we are running out of numbers and soon we will not be able to count things. Trading in the number 14 has been frozen as the number hit dizzying heights in the stock market before yesterday’s closing bell. Shoppers have been reporting that they are finding local retailers are completely sold out of the number 20. Numbers expert Adam Uppe has written two best-selling books on the subject, titled “How to Survive the Coming Number Shortage” and “Living in a World Without Numbers,” both from Infinity Publishing House.

Attie: What 5-digit number has 6 left when 2 is taken away from it?
Attila: Sixty, which becomes six when two letters are taken away.

“Number rules the Universe.” -Pythagoras (Pythagoras of Samos (570 B.C.E. - 495 B.C.E.))

Arithmophobia, also known as numerophobia, is a fear of numbers generally, but can also refer to a fear of math, numerals, certain numbers, calculations, and/or calculus. In schools, it is more commonly known as ‘math anxiety.’ The condition is fortunately not common, but for the few who do suffer from it, it is quite serious. Perhaps singing songs containing numbers could help console those frazzled few?

Annie: In what way is the number 9 like a peacock?
Ian: It is nothing without its tail.

Numbers and Counting Facts
- A few is 2 to 'not many' of something.
- A couple or a pair is two of something.
- A triple or a triplet is three of something.
- A quadruple or a quadruplet is four of something.
- A dozen is twelve of something.
- A baker’s dozen is 12 + 1, or 13, of something.
- A gross is a dozen dozens, which is 12 x 12 or 144.
- A score is twenty of something.

Steven: How do you make the number one disappear?
Stephen: Add a ‘g’ to it and it is ‘gone’!

Triskaidekaphobia is a persistent fear of the number 13. ‘Triskaidekaphobia’ is derived from the Greek words ‘tris’ meaning ‘three,’ ‘kai’ meaning ‘and,’ ‘deka’ meaning ‘ten,’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’ Many buildings have no 13th floor because some people associate the number 13 with bad luck. The buildings have a 12th floor, and right above that is a floor designated as the 14th floor.

Nadine: What did the 0 say to the 8?
Tanya: “Nice belt.”

Can you figure out any of the following?
2 + 2 = Fish.
3 + 3 = 8.
7 + 7 = Triangle.

“2-in-1 is a stupid term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That’s why 2 was created.” -Mitch Hedberg (Mitchell Lee ‘Mitch’ Hedberg (1968 - 2005))

The number 2 is the only number greater than zero that when added to or multiplied by itself gives the same result: 4.

Amanda: What do the numbers 11 and 69 and 88 all have in common?
Amy: They can all be flipped upside down and still be the same.

While visiting Annapolis, a man noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. “What are they doing?” he asked the tour guide. “Each year,” the tour guide replied with a grin, “the upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard.” “So what’s the answer?” my friend asked him when we were out of earshot of the freshmen. The guide replied, “Just one.”

“If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?” -Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Names for the number ‘0’ include zero, naught, nil, zilch, and zip.

Meredith: Do you know what is special about the number 8,549,176,320?
Merry: It contains the numbers zero through nine in alphabetical order.

Riddle:
My head and tail both equal are.
My middle is slender as a bee.
Whether I stand on head or heel
is quite the same to you or me.
But if my top half should be removed,
the matter’s true though passing strange,
Because then I to nothing would change.
What am I?
Answer:
I am a number 8.

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one or eleventeen?

Numbers and Counting Quiz
- Name an odd number.
- Name an even number.
- What number comes between 12 and 14?
- What happens when you write a 0 (zero) after any other number?
- Why do we need numbers?
- How many is a few?
- How many is a couple or a pair?
- How many is a triple or triplet?
- How many is a quadruple or quadruplet?
- How many is a dozen?
- How many is a baker’s dozen?
- How many is a gross?
- If a score is twenty, how many is four score and seven?

“You have to be odd to be number one.” -Doctor Seuss (pseudonym of Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 - 1991))

Bertha: I a number that rhymes with more - what am I?
Brenda: You are four.

Numbers and Counting Quiz Answers
- Odd numbers are 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, and so forth.
- Even numbers are 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, and so forth.
- The number between 12 and 14 is 13.
- Writing ‘0’ or zero after a number increases the value of the number by ten times.
- We need numbers so that we can count things.
- A few is 2 to ‘not many’ of something.
- A couple or a pair is 2 of something.
- A triple or a triplet is 3 of something.
- A quadruple or quadruplet is 4 of something.
- A dozen is 12 of something.
- A baker’s dozen is 12 + 1, or 13.
- A gross is 144, or 12 x 12, of something.
- Four score and seven is (4 x 20) + 7, or 87.

“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give Fido only two of them.” -Phil Pastoret

Four is the only number that when spelled out has as many letters. Forty is the only number whose letters are in alphabetical order. One is the only number whose letters are in reverse alphabetical order. Do you know any trivia about numbers?

Question: Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
Answer: They already 8.

Please help us make every number count by sending your number and counting facts and jokes to MakeFunOfLife@mail.com. This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . now let’s all go count something . . .

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Laughter and Laughing

5/5/2018

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Laughter has magical properties . . .

“Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over, and showing it principally in one spot.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))

“There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870))

“I like people who make me laugh. I honestly think that laughing is the thing I like most. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person.” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

Overheard: I just want to spend the rest of my life laughing.

“Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.” -Bob Newhart (George Robert ‘Bob’ Newhart (born 1929))

“I think laughter may be a form of courage.” -Linda Ellerbee (born 1944)

“There is little success where there is little laughter.” -Andrew Carnegie (1835 - 1919)

“The amount you laugh in your relationships with others is the true measure of the health of your personality.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“You know, there’s endorphins in laughter, as there are endorphins in running in the park.” -Marlo Thomas (Margaret Julia ‘Marlo’ Thomas (born 1937))

Just Laughin’

Did it ever occur to you
Of the good that you might do,
Just Laughin’.
Did you ever stop to think
That a sorrow you could sink,
Just Laughin’.
The world is like a dream,
Your thoughts are mostly clean,
When you’re laughin’.
The whole world seems more bright,
Everything turns out right,
Just Laughin’.
Victory seems to be your pace
And love just floods most every face,
Just Laughin’.
Everyone’s so bright and gay,
Work just seems to be like play
When you’re laughin’.
You’ll find the world much sweeter
And yourself will feel much better,
Just Laughin’.
Life itself would be so fine,
You can make it more divine,
Just Laughin’.
It’s the little things you do
And you know God loves you too,
When you’re laughin’.

-Hudson W. Cady (Hudson Waterman Cady (1894 - 1973))

“A laugh is a smile that bursts.” -Mary H. Waldrip (Mary Helen Waldrip (1914 - 1988))

“So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter.” -Gordon W. Allport (Gordon Willard Allport (1897 - 1967))

Laughter is good exercise. Each time you laugh, you burn up an average of 3.5 calories.

“Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.” -Author Unknown

“Laughing helps; it’s like jogging on the inside.” -Author Unknown

“The One whose throne is in Heaven sits laughing . . .” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Book of Psalms,’ chapter 2, verse 4

“Laugh at yourself, before anyone else can.” -Elsa Maxwell (1883 - 1963)

Daryl: Why is it a bad idea to laugh at people when they are down?
Lydia: They might get up!

“Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. After all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.” -Dame Edna Everage (fictional character portrayed by John Barry Humphries (born 1934))

“Laugh, if you are wise.” -Marcus Valerius Martialis (also known simply as Martial (about C.E. 40 - about C.E. 103))

“At first, I only laughed at myself. Then I noticed that life itself is amusing. I’ve been in a generally good mood ever since.” -Marilyn vos Savant (born 1946)

Laughing Time

It was laughing time, and the tall Giraffe
     Lifted up his head, and began to laugh:
     Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

And the Chimpanzee on the ginkgo tree
     Swung merrily down with a “Tee Hee Hee”:
     Hee! Hee! Hee! Hee!

“It’s certainly not against the law!”
     Croaked Justice Crow with a loud guffaw:
     Haw! Haw! Haw! Haw!

The Dancing Bear who could never say, “No”
     Waltzed up and down on the tip of his toe:
     Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!

The Donkey daintily took his paw,
     And around they went: “Hee-Haw! Hee-Haw!”
     Hee-Haw! Hee-Haw!

The Moon had to smile as it started to climb;
     All over the world it was laughing time!
     Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Hee-Haw! Hee-Haw!
     Hee! Hee! Hee! Hee! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

-William Jay Smith (1918 - 2015): “Laughing Time” (1955)

“If you can laugh at it, you can live with it.” -Erma Bombeck (Erma Louise Bombeck (1927 - 1996))

“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” -Victor Borge (born as Bǿrge Rosenbaum (1909 - 2000))

“A laugh’s the wisest, easiest answer to all that’s queer.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891): “Moby Dick” (18 October 1851)

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“Once you get people laughing, they’re listening, and you can tell them almost anything.” -Herbert Gardner

“Beware of too much laughter, for it deadens the mind and produces oblivion.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Talmud”

“A good laugh is sunshine in the house.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863)

“Laughter is the corrective force which prevents us from becoming cranks.” -Henri Bergson (Henri-Louis ‘Henri’ Bergson (1859 - 1941))

“He who laughs, lasts!” -Mary Pettibone Poole (? - 1941): “A Glass Eye at a Key Hole” (1938); type of work: book of aphorisms and apothegms

“A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market.” -Charles Lamb (1775 - 1834)

“At the height of laughter, the Universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.” -Jean Houston (born 1937)

“Laughter is to life what shock absorbers are to automobiles. It won’t take the potholes out of the road, but it sure makes the ride smoother.” -Barbara Johnson

“Learn to laugh at your troubles and you’ll never run out of things to laugh at.” -Lyn Karol

“Laughter translates into any language.” -Author Unknown

“Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy . . . that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat of the moment. Banish tension and concern and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996)): “A Better Way to Live” (1990), ‘Rule Eleven’

“A good time to laugh is any time you can.” -Linda Ellerbee (born 1944)

“Laughter is God’s hand on the shoulders of a troubled world.” -Minnie Pearl (pseudonym of Sarah Ophelia Colley (1912 - 1996))

“Of all days, the day on which one has not laughed is the one most surely wasted.” -Nicolas Chamfort (Sébastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort (1741 - 1794))

“Laughter is an instant vacation.” -Milton Berle (born Mendel Berlinger (1908 - 2002))

“Those who cannot laugh at themselves leave the job to others.” -Author Unknown

“Sharing laughter heals hearts.” -Patsy Clairmont (born 1945)

“Laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.” -Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824))

“Laughter is the best medicine.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

What are the benefits of laughter? Laughter really is good medicine. Yes, studies have shown it time after time! Laughter lowers blood pressure, creates much better moods around the house, prevents illnesses, speeds up healing, and produces endorphins just like runners experience when they reach their peak running level, which prevents pain sensors from hurting so badly. Laughing may lower levels of stress hormones and strengthen the immune system.

“Laughter is the Sun that drives Winter from the human face.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone.” -Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850 - 1919) (1883)

“If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.” -Edgar Watson Howe (1854 - 1937): as attributed in “Forbes” (1980)

“As a general rule, the freedom of any people can be judged by the volume of their laughter.” -Author Unknown

“You show your character in nothing more clearly that by what you think laughable.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I’ll go to it laughing.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891): “Moby Dick” (18 October 1851)

“Joyfulness keeps the heart and face young. A good laugh makes us better friends with ourselves and everybody around us.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places.” -Andrew Mason

“Man alone suffers so excruciatingly in the world that he was compelled to invent laughter.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“It is more fitting for a man to laugh at life than to lament over it.” -Lucius Annaeus Seneca (also known as Seneca the Younger or simply as Seneca (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

World Laughter Day is celebrated on the first Sunday of May of every year. The first celebration was on 10 January 1998 in Mumbai, India, and was arranged by Doctor Madan Kataria, founder of the worldwide Laughter Yoga movement.

“The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.” -Shirley MacLaine (pseudonym of Shirley MacLean Beaty (born 1934))

“A complete revaluation takes place in your physical and mental being when you’ve laughed and had some fun.” -Catherine Ponder (born 1927)

This is ‘MFOL!’ Have you laughed today? If not, there is still time . . . just continue reading . . .

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Opportunities and Possibilities

5/3/2018

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You opportunity awaits . . . right this way, please . . .

“Opportunity, sooner or later, comes to all who work and wish.” -Edward George Geoffrey Smith-Stanley (1799 - 1869)

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” - George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans (1819 - 1880))

“Any human anywhere will blossom in a hundred unexpected talents and capacities simply by being given the opportunity to do so.” -Doris Lessing (Doris May Lessing (born 1919))

“You may miss all of the good opportunities if you are willing to try only what you are fairly certain you can succeed at. You have to try many things that might not work out.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Far too many people have no idea of what they can do because all they have been told is what they can’t do.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Opportunity is rare, and a wise man will never let it go by him.” -Bayard Taylor (1825 - 1878)

“Be ready when opportunity comes . . . Luck is the time when preparation and opportunity meet.” -Roy D. Chapin, Junior (Roy Dikeman Chapin, Junior (1915 - 2001)) (Similar quotations attributed to Earl Nightingale, Neil Pert, and others)

“Be a can-do, will-try person. Focus on what you have and not what you don’t have, what you can do rather than what you cannot do.” -Marian Wright Edelman

“Opportunity does not come and knock on our doors. We must ourselves go knocking on doors to find opportunity, persistently knocking until we have an answer, either yes or no, and then we go on to the next ten thousand doors, one at a time, without pausing between them, smiling as best we are able, and speaking our carefully prepared and memorized introductions in a polite conversational style.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“We must look for the opportunity in every difficulty instead of being paralyzed at the thought of the difficulty in every opportunity.” -Walter E. Cole

“Your aspirations are your possibilities.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“Small opportunities are often the beginnings of great achievements.” -Calvin Coolidge (John Calvin Coolidge (1872 - 1933))

“Opportunities multiply as they are seized.” -Sun-Tzu: “The Art of War”

“Opportunities don’t happen, you create them.” -Chris Grosser

“I’ve been lucky. Opportunities don’t often come along. So, when they do, you have to grab them.” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Opportunity.
Opportunity, who?
Fooled you – opportunity only knocks once!

“Some say opportunity knocks only once, that is not true. Opportunity knocks all the time, but you have to be ready for it.” -Louis L’Amour (born Louis Dearborn LaMoore (1908 - 1988))

“If you’re looking for a big opportunity, seek out a big problem.” -Author Unknown

“Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)): “Tales of the Jazz Age” (1922), ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’

“Thou hast only to follow the wall far enough and there will be a door in it.” -Marguerite de Angeli: “The Door in the Wall” (1949)

“Just because a door closes, doesn’t mean that it’s locked.” -Hannah Vlach

“Opportunity seems to have an uncanny habit of favoring those who have paid the price of years of preparation.” -Author Unknown

“The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are.” -John Burroughs (1837 - 1921)

“Wherever there is danger, there lurks opportunity; whenever there is opportunity, there lurks danger. The two are inseparable. They go together.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“Don’t wait for the right opportunity; create it.” -George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

“The trouble with opportunity is it always comes disguised as work.” -Author Unknown

“Our thoughts and imagination are the only real limits to our possibilities.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Your only limitations are those you set up in your mind, or permit others to set up for you.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.” -Author Unknown

“Are you missing opportunities because you are too focused on obstacles?” -Jeffrey Gitomer (born 1946)

“Opportunities are seldom labeled.” -John A. Shedd (John Augustus Shedd (1859 - 1928))

“Most people live, whether physically, intellectually, or morally, in a very restricted circle of their potential being. They make use of a very small portion of their possible consciousness, and of their soul’s resources in general, much like a man who, out of his whole bodily organism, should get into a habit of using and moving only his little finger.” -William James (1842 - 1910): as quoted in “The Letters of William James” (1920)

“Your diamonds are not in far distant mountains or in yonder seas; they are in your own backyard, if you but dig for them.” -Russell H. Conwell (Russell Herman Conwell (1843 - 1945)): “Acres of Diamonds” (1890)

“Within our dreams and aspirations we find our opportunities.” -Sue Ebaugh

“Men who are resolved to find a way for themselves will always find opportunities enough; and if they do not find them, they will make them.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“It is one of life’s laws that as soon as one door closes another opens. But the tragedy is we look at the closed door and disregard the open one.” -André Gide (André Paul Guillaume Gide (1869 - 1951)) (similar quotation attributed to Helen Adams Keller)

“Opportunity seekers do not sit at home waiting by the telephone or the computer, nor do they hang out in familiar haunts and with the same old crowd. Opportunity seekers go out and knock on unfamiliar doors and enter intimidating buildings and go up and down on elevators and stairs. They do a lot of walking, dressed and groomed as best they can, doing best what they can with what they have until they have more and know more. They meet people who are better than they are, who outclass them in every way, but they continue on.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“Opportunity . . . often it comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great. Weak men wait for opportunities; strong men make them.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.” -Doug Larson (1902 - 1981)

“It’s hard to hear when opportunity is knocking if you are too busy knocking the opportunity.” -Author Unknown

“What is opportunity, and when does it knock? It never knocks. You can wait a whole lifetime, listening, hoping, and you will hear no knocking. None at all. You are opportunity, and you must knock on the door leading to your destiny. You prepare yourself to recognize opportunity, to pursue and seize opportunity as you develop the strength of your personality, and build a self-image with which you are able to live - with your self-respect alive and growing.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“Opportunity knocks once at every man’s door and then keeps on knocking.” -George Ade (1866 - 1944)

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their head turned up way too loud to hear it.” -Brian Vaszily

“Opportunity is more valuable than money.” -Grant Cardone

“When opportunity knocks, you can’t say, ‘Come back later.’” -Leonard Turkel

“That old saying about opportunity only knocking once is as archaic as the flat-earth theory and as patently untrue. Opportunity knocks all the time - and it rings your doorbell, calls you up, and sends you e-mails.” -Victoria Moran

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” -Milton Berle (born as Mendel Berlinger (1908 - 2002))

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Book of Matthew,’ chapter 7, verses 7 and 8 (see also verses 9 through 12)

“The activity you’re most avoiding contains your biggest opportunity.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

“Old ways won’t open new doors.” -Author Unknown

“Kindness unlocks doors that were thought to be closed forever.” -Author Unknown

“We have the power within, but the secret of success is to employ our power and talents and be prepared for opportunity when it comes.” -Walter Matthews

“The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Jumping at several small opportunities may get us there more quickly than waiting for one big one to come along.” -Hugh Allen

“Most successful men have not achieved their distinction by having some new talent or opportunity presented to them. They have developed the opportunity that was at hand.” -Bruce Barton (1886 - 1967)

“Arrange whatever pieces come your way.” -Virginia Woolf (Adeline Virginia Woolf (1882 - 1941))

“Every situation, properly perceived, becomes an opportunity.” -Helen Schucman

“With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable.” -Thomas Buxton (Thomas Fowell Buxton (1786 - 1845)): as quoted in Frank Leslie: “Sunday Magazine” (January - June 1886), Volume XIX, page 89

“When opportunity knocks, don’t question your ability based on your shortcomings. Know your strengths and start your journey!” -Author Unknown

“If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes - then learn how to do it later.” -Richard Branson

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . wishing you many glorious days as you make your way through this world of endless possibilities . . .

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Impossible and Possible

5/3/2018

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“I’ve always had the feeling that nothing is impossible if one applies a certain amount of energy in the right direction. If you want to do it, you can do it.” -Nellie Bly (pseudonym of Elizabeth Cochrane Seaman (1864 - 1922))

“Impossible things are simply those which so far have never been done.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“You can’t pick a lock with a pickle, you can’t cure the sick with a sickle, pluck figs with a figment, drive pigs with a pigment, nor make your watch tick with a tickle. You can’t slacken your gait with a gaiter, you can’t get a crate with a crater, catch moles with a molar, or bake rolls with a roller. But you can get a wait from a waiter.” -Author Unknown: in “Sunshine Magazine”

“Never let the word ‘impossible’ stop you from pursuing what your heart and spirit urge you to do. Impossible things come true every day.” -Robert Cooper

“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” -Vince Lombardi (Vincent Thomas Lombardi (1913 - 1970))

“Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.” -Author Unknown

“I’m always doing what I cannot do yet, in order to learn how to do it.” -Vincent van Gogh (Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 - 1890)): letter (1885) to Anthon van Rappard

“When work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible.” -Nancy Coey

“The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible.” -Richard M. DeVos

“I have learned to use the word ‘impossible’ with the greatest caution.” -Wernher von Braun (Wernher Magnus Maximilian, Freiherr von Braun (1912 - 1977))

“I believe anything is possible. Research into quantum physics proves that a system changes simply by someone observing it. Therefore, all you have to do is be awake and aware of your environment, and that enables you to transform everything around you. It sounds like hocus pocus, but scientists are coming to realize that just thinking about something can make it happen. Turns out maybe faith can move mountains.” -Christine Anderson

“The impossible is possible if you want it to be.” -Author Unknown

“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.” -Walt Disney (Walter Elias ‘Walt’ Disney (1901 - 1966)): as attributed in Derek Walker: “Animated Architecture” (December 1982), page 10

“We have no limits - we create them in our mind.” -Bud Labranche

“Most of the things worth doing in the world were said to be impossible before they were done.” -Louis Brandeis (Louis Dembitz Brandeis (1856 - 1941))

“Things that are impossible just take longer.” -Ian Hickson

“Impossible: A word that is to be found only in the dictionaries of fools.” -Author Unknown

“Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.” -Doug Larson (1902 - 1981)

“The impossible is often the untried.” -Jim Goodwin

“Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said. ‘One can’t believe impossible things.’ ‘I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it half an hour a day. Why, sometimes, I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.’” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Through the Looking-Glass” (1872), chapter 5

“What is impossible today that if made possible would change everything?” -Joel Barker

“It is our duty as human beings to proceed as though the limits of our capabilities do not exist.” -Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (1881 - 1955)

Impossible: Something that nobody can do - until somebody does it!

“If you develop the absolute sense of certainty that powerful beliefs provide, then you can get yourself to accomplish virtually anything, including those things that other people are certain are impossible.” -William L. Phelps (William Lyon Phelps (1865 - 1943))

“The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.” -Arthur C. Clarke (Arthur Charles Clarke (1917 - 2008))

“You have to believe in the impossible.” -Howard Head

“There is nothing impossible to him who will try.” -Alexander of Macedonia (also known as Alexander the Great (356 B.C.E. - 323 B.C.E.))

“Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.” -John Heywood (about 1497 - 1580): “Proverbs” (1546)

“Yes, you can be a dreamer and a doer too, if you will remove one word from your vocabulary: impossible.” -Robert Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“Nothing is impossible.” -Author Unknown

“The difficult is what takes a little time; the impossible is what takes a little longer.” -Fridtjof Nansen (1861 - 1930): as quoted in the “Listener” (14 December 1939)

“Everything is always impossible before it works.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

“What we need are more people who specialize in the impossible.” -Theodore Roethke (1908 - 1963)

“Nothing is impossible; the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993) (similar quotation attributed to Monsieur Nana Adom)

“You can do the impossible, because you have been through the unimaginable.” -Christina Rasmussen (born 1972)

“When someone tells you that you can’t do something, perhaps you should consider that they are only telling you what they can’t do.” -Sheldon Cahoon

“Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” -Francis of Assisi (1181 - 1226)

“It is the act of a madman to pursue impossibilities.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180))

“Every great achievement was once considered impossible.” -Author Unknown

“Do not suppose that, if you find something hard to achieve, it is beyond human capacity; rather, if something is possible and appropriate for man, assume that it must also be within your own reach.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180)): “The Meditations” (C.E. 167)

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” -Author Unknown

“To get profit without risk, experience without danger, and reward without work is as impossible as it is to live without being born.” -A. P. Gouthey (Aldolph Philip Gouthey (some sources may show Adolph Philip Gouthey) (1892 - 1963))

“All things are possible until they are proved impossible and even the impossible may only be so, as of now.” -Pearl S. Buck (Pearl Sydenstricker Buck (1892 - 1973)): “A Bridge for Passing” (1962)

“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” -Jamie Paolinetti

“It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.” -Robert H. Goddard (Robert Hutchings ‘Bob’ Goddard (1882 - 1945))

“You cannot make a silk purse of a sow’s ear.” -Stephen Gosson (1554 - 1624): “The Ephemerides of Phialo” (1579)

“So many things are possible just as long as you don’t know they’re impossible.” -Norton Juster (born 1929): “The Phantom Tollbooth” (1961)

“To believe a Business impossible, is the Way to make it so.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 5138

“A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” -Walter Bagehot (1826 - 1877)

“Ordinary people believe only in the possible. Extraordinary people visualize not what is possible or probable, but rather what is impossible. And by visualizing the impossible, they begin to see it as possible.” -Cherie Carter-Scott (born 1949)

“There is no limitation other than what you think.” -Kenneth Mills

“Anything in life is possible if you make it happen. And it’s never too late.” -Jack LaLanne (François Henri ‘Jack’ LaLanne (1914 - 2011))

“When someone tells you it can’t be done, it’s more a reflection of their limitations, not yours.” -Author Unknown

“The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man’s determination.” -Tommy Lasorda

“Never tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the Moon.” -Paul Brandt

“What ‘exists’ is only a small part of what is ‘possible.’” -Pere Alberch

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible” (NIV), ‘Matthew,’ chapter 19, verse 26

“Think of the thing you cannot do, and then do it.” -Author Unknown

“Impossible is only an opinion.” -Author Unknown

“Every noble work is at first impossible.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“It’s going to be difficult, but difficult is not impossible.” -Author Unknown

“Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities - always see them, for they’re always there.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Either I will find a way, or I will make one.” -Philip Sidney (1554 - 1586)

“Most of the things worth doing in the world have been declared impossible before they were attempted.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“What is now proven was once only imagined.” -William Blake (1757 - 1827): “Proverbs of Hell” (1790 - 1793)

“All big things in this world are done by people who are naive and have an idea that is obviously impossible.” -Frank Richards

“There is a better way to spell ‘impossible’: ‘I’m possible.’” -Author Unknown

“I dwell in possibility.” -Emily Dickinson (1830 - 1886)

“Few things are impossible to diligence and skill.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): “Rasselas” (1759)

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“Once you stop dismissing something as unattainable, then you start working on its development.” -Jerome Pearson

“The most rewarding things you do in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done.” -Arnold Palmer

“You can’t roller-skate in a buffalo herd, but you can be happy if you’ve a mind to.” -Roger Miller

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . wishing you many trouble-free days as you make your way through a world in which more things are possible all the time . . .

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Self-Improvement and Self-Help

4/29/2018

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“Anybody can do just about anything with himself that he really wants to and makes up his mind to do. We are capable of greater things than we realize.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Change yourself and your fortune will change with you.” -Author Unknown

“How do we become true and good, happy and genuine, joyful and free? Only by getting in touch with good, true, happy, genuine human beings, only by seeking the company of the strong and the free, only by catching spontaneity and freedom from those who are themselves spontaneous and free.” -Charles Malike (1906 - 1988)

Let’s build a better you . . . we will need some glue, pop-sickle sticks, pipe cleaners, glitter, crayons, yarn, construction paper . . . what, you say you are not made out of any of those things?

“Be the kind of person you want to meet.” -Author Unknown

“A truly wise person will constantly move forward, striving for self-improvement.” -Marvin J. Ashton (Marvin Jeremy Ashton (1915 - 1994))

“Let us strive to improve ourselves, for we cannot remain stationary; one either progresses or retrogrades.” -Mademoiselle Du Deffand (Marie Anne de Vichy-Chamrond, Marquise du Deffand (1697 - 1780))

“By improving yourself, you make the world better.” -Author Unknown

“You don’t have to be sick to get better! You don’t have to have a bad attitude to get a better one.” -Thomas D. Willhite (Thomas Dale Willhite (1940 - 1983))

“Ignore the ones who say it’s too late to start over. Disregard those who say you’ll never amount to anything. Turn a deaf ear to those who say you aren’t smart enough, fast enough, tall enough, or big enough - ignore them.” -Max Lucado (born 1955)

“In the long term the most important question . . . is not what you are but what you are becoming.” -Gary Hamel

“It only takes one person to change your life - you.” -Ruth Casey

“Everyone planning to make something worthwhile out of himself must be a self-remade man, and should be an intelligent remodeling job going on all the time.” -Sterling W. Sill (Sterling Welling Sill (1903 - 1994))

“Build upon strengths, and weaknesses will gradually take care of themselves.” -Joyce C. Lock

“There’s only one corner of the Universe you can be certain of improving and that’s your own self . . . You have to begin there, not outside, not on other people. That comes afterwards, when you’ve worked on your own corner.” -Aldous Huxley (Aldous Leonard Huxley (1894 - 1963)): “Time Must Have a Stop” (1944)

“Know thyself? If I knew myself, I’d run away.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“To become different from what we are, we must have some awareness of what we are.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)

“No man is capable of self-improvement if he sees no other model but himself.” -Conrado I. Generoso

“Be yourself. No one can ever tell you you’re doing it wrong.” -James Leo Herlihy (1927 - 1993)

“How can there be self-help ‘groups’?” -Author Unknown

“I have had more trouble with myself than with any other man I have ever met.” -Dwight L. Moody (Dwight Lyman Moody (1837 - 1899))

USA: Unconditional Self-Acceptance.

“If you are still searching for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” -Author Unknown

“People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy.” -Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774)

“If you want a kinder world, then behave with kindness; if you want a peaceful world, make peace within.” -Dan Millman

“Man is nothing else but what he makes of himself.” -Jean-Paul Sartre (1905 - 1980)

“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” -Carol Burnett (born 1933)

“Might I give counsel to any man, I would say to him, try to frequent the company of your betters. In books and in life, that is the most wholesome society; learn to admire rightly; the great pleasure of life is that. Note what great men admire.” William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863)

“Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you act.” -George W. Crane (George Washington Crane III (1901 - 1995))

“Do not think of your faults, still less of other’s faults; look for what is good and strong, and try to imitate it. Your faults will drop off, like dead leaves, when their time comes.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“Chiefly the mold of a man’s fortune is in his own hands.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626)

“If we are unduly absorbed in improving our lives we may forget altogether to live them.” -Alan Watts (Alan Wilson Watts (1915 - 1973))

“Improvement begins with I.” -Arnold H. Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“None will improve your lot if you yourself do not.” -Bertolt Brecht (Eugen Berthold Friedrich ‘Bertolt’ Brecht (1898 - 1956)) (1933)

“For a person to build a rich and rewarding life for himself, there are certain qualities and bits of knowledge that he needs to acquire. There are also things, harmful attitudes, superstitions, and emotions that he needs to chip away. A person needs to chip away everything that doesn’t look like the person he or she most wants to become.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“Help thyself.” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“The better person you become, the better people you will attract.” -Author Unknown

“I am still far from being what I want to be, but with God’s help I shall succeed.” -Vincent van Gogh (Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 - 1890))

“Be yourself, everyone else is taken.” -Author Unknown

“In that worthiest of all struggles, the struggle for self-mastery and goodness, we are far less patient with ourselves than God is with us.” -J. G. Holland (Josiah Gilbert Holland (1819 - 1881))

“Whatever you are, try to be a good one.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863): as quoted in Laurence Hutton’s memoir, ‘A Boy I Once Knew,’ which was serialized in “St. Nicholas: An Illustrated Magazine for Young Folks” (March 1897), Volume 24, Number 5, page 413, column 2

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” -Carl Rogers (1902 - 1987)

“Identify and develop your unique talents and abilities, the things that make you special.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“The simple part is, every thought we think and every word we speak is creating our future. If you change your thinking, you can change your life.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017))

“It is right to be contented with what we have, but never with what we are.” -James Mackintosh (1765 - 1832): as attributed in “The True Briton” (7 July 1853) magazine

“If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.” -Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)

“Try a little harder to be a little better.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“The better I get, the more I realize how much better I can get.” -Martina Navratilova (born 1956)

“Happiness and self-confidence come naturally when you feel yourself moving and progressing toward becoming the very best person you can possibly be.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“That’s the risk you take if you change: that people you’ve been involved with won’t like the new you. But other people who do will come along.” -Lisa Alther (born 1944)

“You don’t get better by chance; you get better by change.” -Author Unknown: As quoted in Kit Summers and Robert Schwarz: “Juggling with Finesse” (1987), page 19

“The first step to improvement, whether mental, moral, or religious, is to know ourselves - our weaknesses, errors, deficiencies, and sins, that, by divine grace, we may overcome and turn from them all.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 517

“Seeing yourself as you want to be is the key to personal growth.” -Author Unknown

“There is no shame in having fallen. Nor any shame in being born into a lowly estate. There is only shame in not struggling to rise. And also shame for not wishing to attain the better. Or not dreaming about it and praying for it.” -Samuel Amalu

“We are either progressing or retrograding all the while; there is no such thing as remaining stationary in this life.” -James Freeman Clarke (1810 - 1888)

“I went to a bookstore today and asked the manager where the self-help section was. She said, ‘If I told you that would defeat the whole purpose.’” -Brian Kiley (born 1962)

“If you want a quality, act as if you already had it. Try the ‘as if’ technique.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“People never improve unless they look to some standard or example higher and better than themselves.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 156

“You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be.” -David Viscott (1938 - 1996)

“The greatest gift you can give to somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, ‘If you will take care of me, I will take care of you.’ Now I say, ‘I will take care of me for you if you will take care of you for me.’” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.” -William Faulkner (William Cuthbert ‘Will’ Faulkner (1897 - 1962))

“Everything comes by being! Be the love you seek. Be the friend you seek. Be the honesty you seek. Be the integrity you seek. Be the patience you seek. Be the tolerance you seek. Be the compassion you seek.” -Bryant McGill (born 1969)

“It is necessary to try to surpass oneself always; this occupation ought to last as long as life.” -Queen Christina of Sweden (born Kristina Augusta Wasa, later known as Christina Alexandra (1626 - 1689))

If you want to attract happy, positive things . . . become a happy, positive person! Work from the inside out!” -Mandy Hale (born 1978)

“You are more likely to be successful at attempting to be better than yourself than to be better than someone else.” -Author Unknown

“To be always intending to live a new life, but never to find time to set about it; this is as if a man should put off eating, and drinking, and sleeping, from one day and night to another, till he is starved and destroyed.” -John Tillotson (1630 - 1694): as attributed in “The Ladies’ Companion; or, Peoples’ Annual” (August 1842)

“Never mind what others do; do better than yourself, beat your own record from day to day, and you are a success.” -William J. H. Boetcker (William John Henry Boetcker (1873 - 1962))

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” -Judy Garland (Frances Gumm (1922 - 1969))

“It may be all right to be content with what you have; never with what you are.” -B. C. Forbes (Robert Charles ‘Bertie’ Forbes (1880 - 1954))

“There is nothing noble in being superior to some other man. True nobility comes from being superior to your previous self.” -Author Unknown: Hindustani proverb: as quoted in George Derby, compiler: “A Conspectus of American Biography” (1906), page 726

“When you improve a little each day, eventually big things occur. When you improve conditioning a little each day, eventually you have a big improvement in conditioning. Not tomorrow, not the next day, but eventually a big gain is made. Don’t look for the big, quick improvement. Seek the small improvement. Seek the small improvement one day at a time. That’s the only way it happens - and when it happens, it lasts.” -John Wooden (1910 - 2010)

“Be the best version of you.” -Author Unknown

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . we are learning right along with you . . .

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Inspiration and Motivation

4/26/2018

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Footprints in the sands of time are not made while sitting down . . .

“I want to get you excited about who you are, what you are, what you have, and what can still be for you. I want to inspire you to see that you can go far beyond where you are right now.” -Virginia Satir (Virginia Pagenkopf Satir (1916 - 1988))

“Go as far as you can see, and when you get there you will see farther.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.” -John Burroughs (1837 - 1921)

“The great composer does not set to work because he is inspired, but becomes inspired because he is working. Beethoven, Wagner, Bach, and Mozart settled down day after day to the job in hand. They didn’t waste time waiting for inspiration.” -Ernest Newman (1868 - 1959)

“Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it.” -Madeleine L’Engle (Madeleine L’Engle Camp (1918 - 2007))

“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.” -Louisa May Alcott (1832 - 1888)

Do What You Want

Draw the art you want to see
Start the business you want to run
Play the music you want to hear
Write the books you want to read
Build the products you want to use
Do the work you want to see done

-Austin Kleon (28 February 2012)

“This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“One ought to, every day at least, hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1842): “Wilhelm Meister’s Lehrjahre” (English: “Wilhelm Meister’s Apprenticeship”) (1795 - 1796), book 5, chapter I

“When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won’t come up with a handful of mud either.” -Leo Burnett (1891 - 1971)

“Reach for the stars, even if you have to stand on a cactus.” -Susan Longacre

“We are built to conquer environment, solve problems, achieve goals - and we find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“No one knows what he can do until he tries.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“You can have anything you want - if you want it badly enough. You can be anything you want to be, do anything you set out to accomplish, if you hold to that desire with singleness of purpose.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“Extraordinary people are committed to doing the extra things that ordinary people won’t.” -Christine Kinney

“The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.” -Jimmy Johnson (James William ‘Jimmy’ Johnson (born 1943))

“Do everything. One thing may turn out to be right.” -Humphrey Bogart (Humphrey DeForest Bogart (1899 - 1957))

“Triumph is just ‘umph’ added to ‘try.’” -Author Unknown

“The explanation of triumph is all in the first syllable.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible” (King James Version (1611)), ‘Matthew,’ chapter 7, verses 7 and 8

“If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.” -Christina Dodd

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” -Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it.” -Jonathan Winters (Jonathan Harshman Winters III (1925 - 2013))

“The measure of achievement is not winning awards. It’s doing something that you appreciate, something you believe is worthwhile. I think of my strawberry soufflé. I did that at least twenty-eight times before I finally conquered it.” -Julia Child (Julia Carolyn Child (1912 - 2004))

“Almost invariably those who have reached the summits worked harder and longer, studied and planned more assiduously, practiced more self-denial, overcame more difficulties than those of us who have not risen so far.” -B. C. Forbes (Robert Charles ‘Bertie’ Forbes (1880 - 1954))

“There is only one small letter between the words Can and Can’t . . . and that one letter will t-otally change your destiny.” -Doug Firebaugh

“Knock the ‘t’ off the ‘can’t.’” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a lion or a gazelle; when the sun comes up, you’d better be running.” -Herb Caen (Herbert Eugene ‘Herb’ Caen (1916 - 1997))

“‘How does one become a butterfly?’ she asked. ‘You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.’” -Trina Paulus (born 1931): “Hope for the Flowers” (1973), available from www.HopeForTheFlowers.com.

“Tears will get you sympathy . . . Sweat will get you results.” -Author Unknown

“If you want to see something done, just tell some human beings it can’t be done. Make it known that it’s impossible to fly to the Moon, or run a hundred meters in nine-point-nine seconds, or solve Fermat’s Last Theorem. Remind the world that no one has ever hit sixty-two home runs in a season . . . stuffed eighteen people into a Volkswagen Bug . . . set half the world free . . . or cloned a sheep. Dangle the undoable in front of the world. Then, consider it done.” -Author Unknown: Merrill Lynch, advertisement

“A man’s ambition should be high. Not scratched in dirt - carved in the sky.” -Thomas L. Forest

“You will never stub your toe standing still. The faster you go, the more chance there is of stubbing your toe, but the more chance you have of getting somewhere.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

There’s a Time

There’s a time to part and a time to meet,
     There’s a time to sleep and a time to eat,
There’s a time to work and a time to play,
     There’s a time to sing and a time to pray,
There’s a time that’s glad and a time that’s blue,
     There’s a time to plan and a time to do,
There’s a time to grin and to show your grit,
     But there never was a time to quit.

-Author Unknown

“Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.” -Author Unknown

“Every day is an opportunity to make a new happy ending.” -Author Unknown

“If you can’t learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.” -Author Unknown

Good, Better, Best

Good, better, best,
     Never let it rest
Until your Good is Better
     And your Better is the Best.

-Author Unknown

“No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big.” -Author Unknown

Everybody Is Somebody

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

-Author Unknown

“If you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, march down there and turn it on yourself.” -Author Unknown

Anything Can Be

Listen to the Mustn’ts, child,
     Listen to the Don’ts
Listen to the Shouldn’ts
     The Impossibles, the Won’ts
Listen to the Never Haves
     Then listen close to me -
Anything can happen, child,
     Anything can be.

-Shel Silverstein (Sheldon Allan ‘Shel’ Silverstein (1930 - 1999)): “Where the Sidewalk Ends” (1974)

“You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.” -Author Unknown

“Live to inspire, and one day people will say, ‘Because of you, I didn’t give up.’” -Author Unknown

“Of all the people I have ever known, those who have pursued their dreams and failed have lived a much more fulfilling life than those who have put their dreams on a shelf for fear of failure.” -Author Unknown

Words

Did is a word of achievement,
     Won’t is a word of retreat,
Might is a word of bereavement,
     Can’t is a word of defeat,
Ought is a word of duty,
     Try is a word each hour,
Will is a word of beauty,
     Can is a word of power.

-Author Unknown

“Make big plans; aim high in hope and work, remembering that a noble, logical diagram once recorded will never die, but long after we are gone will be a living thing, asserting itself with ever-growing intensity. Remember that our sons and grandsons are going to do things that would stagger us. Let your watchword be order and your beacon be beauty.” -Daniel Hudson Burnham (1846 - 1912)

“I am not a has-been. I am a will-be.” -Lauren Bacall (pseudonym of Betty Joan Perske (1924 - 2014))

What I Would Like to Be

I would like to be a Could Be
If I could not be an Are,
For a Could Be is a May Be
With a chance of going far.
I would rather be a Has Been
Than a Might Have Been by far,
For a Might Have Been has never been
But a Has Been was an Are.

-Author Unknown

“I really don’t think life is about the I-could-have-beens. Life is only about the I-tried-to-do. I don’t mind the failure but I can’t imagine that I’d forgive myself if I didn’t try.” -Nikki Giovanni (Yolande Cornelia ‘Nikki’ Giovanni, Junior (born 1943))

“Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.” -Wendell Johnson (1906 - 1965)

“Never forget all that you have survived, all that you have accomplished, all that you are capable of, all that you will do, your hopes and dreams and plans, and the bright future that awaits you. Go forward with extreme optimism!” -Nathan Thomas Taylor (born 1966)

“It’s not what you do some of the time that counts, it’s what you do all of the time that counts.” -Jack LaLanne (François Henri ‘Jack’ LaLanne (1914 - 2011))

“Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!” -Anne Frank (1929 - 1945): “The Diary of a Young Girl” (1952)

“We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.” -Frank Tibolt (1897 - 1989)

Risk more than others think is safe.
Care more than others think is wise.
Dream more than others think is practical.
Expect more than others think is possible.
-Claude T. Bissell (Claude Thomas Bissell (1916 - 2000))

“Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of a unanimity.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)): as quoted in “American Artist” (1949)

“Every day is another chance to make your dreams come true.” -Author Unknown

“There is something that I know about you that you may not even know yourself. You have within you more resources of energy than have ever been tapped, more talent than has ever been exploited, more strength than has ever been tested, and more to give than you have ever given.” -John Gardner (1933 - 1982)

“Champions know there are no shortcuts to the top. They climb the mountain one step at a time. They have no use for helicopters!” -Judi Adler

“You can follow your heart - just don’t forget to take your head with you.” -Author Unknown

“You never know what’s around the corner. It could be everything. Or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you’ve climbed a mountain.” -Tom Hiddleston (Thomas William Hiddleston (born 1981))

“When I’m inspired, I get excited because I can’t wait to see what I’ll come up with next.” -Dolly Parton (born 1946)

Imagine all the good things that life has to offer, all the good things in the world - it is all out there waiting for you - what are you waiting for? We have much more inspiration and motivation for you on the ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ Website. To find it, go to the top of this page and click on ‘Inspiration & Motivation’ on the menu bar.

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