May luck be yours on Halloween!
Sally: What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
Allie: Do you believe in people?
Walter: Is it okay to eat Halloween candy with your fingers?
Wallace: No, eat your candy first, and then eat your fingers later.
Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen,
Voices whisper in the trees, “Tonight is Halloween!”
Priscilla: Why was the mummy so tense?
Sheila: He was all wound up!
Halloween has been linked by some folklorist to the festival and feast of Pomona of Ancient Rome. Ancient Romans believed that Pomona was a goddess who watched over and cared for fruiting trees, orchards, and gardens. Pomona was not associated with the harvesting of fruits, but rather with the flourishing of the trees. She was skilled in pruning and grafting, a labor of love in which she became completely absorbed. Pomona’s name was derived from the Latin word ‘pomum’ meaning ‘fruit.’ She is often depicted holding a platter of fruit or a cornucopia (horn of plenty). Her festival and feast day is observed on 13 August of each year. Many Halloween customs and games that feature apples, such as bobbing for apples, and nuts, date from Ancient Roman times. For this reason, Halloween has at times been called San-Apple Night and Nutcrack Night, and in times past, trick-or-treaters received mostly fruits and nuts rather than candy.
Frank: What happens when a ghost haunts a theater?
Esmeralda: The actors get stage fright.
The Halloween House
I’m told there’s a Green Thing in there.
And the sign on the gate says, “Beware!”
But of course it’s not true.
That’s why I’m sending you
To sneak in and find out - but take care!
by John Ciardi (John Anthony Ciardi (1916 - 1986))
James: Where does a baby ghost sit at a restaurant?
Hermes: In a boo-ster chair!
A hobgoblin remarked to his mate,
“Hurry up there, old sport, we’ll be late;
And I fear from the looks
Of our neighbors, the Spooks
They will get first to Earth, sure as fate.”
by Author Unknown
Costello: Why don’t mummies take vacations?
Abbot: They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
Stephen Clarke holds the record for the world’s fastest pumpkin carving time: 24.03 seconds, smashing his previous record of 54.72 seconds. The rules of the competition state that the pumpkin must weigh less than 24 pounds and be carved in a traditional way, which requires at least eyes, nose, ears, and a mouth.
Robin: What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Is the reason children sometimes dress up in Mommy’s old clothes for Halloween, and not Daddy’s old clothes, that Daddies do not have old clothes, because they are still wearing them?
Phillip my bag with candy, please!
Tip: Put your name on the inside of your goodies bag or bucket so it will not get mixed up with the other trick-or-treaters’ bags or buckets of treats.
Roger: Who does a goblin go out with on Halloween?
Gerome: His ghoul friend!
When witches go riding
And black cats are seen,
The Moon laughs and whispers,
‘Tis near Halloween!
Some people say that Halloween arose out of superstition, or beliefs based on fear and a misunderstanding of how the world works, and that it continues as a yearly event because people find it fun. Others say there is a little more to it than that.
Stella: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Della: Boo-berry pie!
Halloween is commonly associated with the Celtic festival of Samhain, pronounced as ‘sow-an’ or ‘sow-in,’ and derived from the Gaelic word ‘samuin’ meaning ‘Summer’s end.’ In Medieval Ireland and Scotland, the Samhain festival was held at sunset on 31 October and lasted through daylight on 1 November. It marked the ending of the Autumn harvest season, and the beginning of the dark season of Winter, with its shorter days and longer nights. It was a time for stocktaking and preparation for the cold barren months ahead. There was also a sense that this was the time of year when the physical and supernatural worlds were closest and strange things could happen. People thought that evil spirits could enter our world and steal the souls of good people, so they dressed in costumes to disguise themselves as ghouls and other spooks in hope of escaping being noticed by the evil spirits thought to be wandering the streets during Samhain. People also put out treats of food and drinks in front of their homes, and went from house to house enjoying the treats. Some believe that from this custom arose the Christian custom called ‘souling’ which itself became what we know as ‘trick-or-treating.’ Fires were lit to ward off the spooks and to ensure the Sun would return after the long, hard Winter. Often Druid priests would throw the bones of cattle into the flames, making them ‘bone fires’ from which came the word ‘bonfire.’
Question: Why wasn’t there any food left after the Halloween party?
Answer: Because everyone was really a-goblin!
Halloween has links to Christian holy days, or holidays. The word ‘Halloween’ is short for ‘All Hallows’ Eve,’ which takes place on 31 October of each year and is a time for celebrating the Christian conquest of evil. All Hallows’ Eve is the evening before All Hallows’ Day (also called Hallowmas or All Saints’ Day), which takes place on 1 November of each year to celebrate saints. All Souls’ Day, which takes place on 2 November of each year, is a time for praying for the departed on their journey to Heaven. In an effort to convert pagans to Christianity, the Roman Catholic Church assimilated the traditions of the pagan holidays that fell on or around 31 October into the Christian holy days called All Hallows’ Eve (Halloween), All Hallows’ Day, and All Souls’ Day. All Hallows’ Eve, or Halloween, was first declared a feast day by Pope Gregory IV in the year 835, and later instituted as a Christian celebration in connection with All Hallows’ Day (1 November) by Pope Boniface IV. By the end of the 12th century, these holy days had become days of holy obligation across Europe, and involved such traditions as ringing bells for the souls in purgatory and ‘souling,’ the custom of baking bread or ‘soul cakes’ for ‘all crysten (christened) souls.’ Souling is a predecessor to modern-day trick-or-treating; on All Hallows’ Day, the poor would go door-to-door offering prayers for the deceased in exchange for soul cakes.
According to folklore, Jack O’Lanterns are named after a stingy farmer named Jack. One day, Jack tricked the Devil into climbing up into an apple tree to get a juicy apple, and then Jack quickly cut the sign of the cross into the tree trunk, preventing the Devil from coming back down. Jack next made the Devil promise he would not go after his soul in any way. The Devil agreed; however, all of this did not prevent Jack from later passing away naturally when his time came. After Jack had passed on, he arrived at the gates of Heaven, where he was turned away because he was a mean, stingy man. Desperate for a resting place, he went to the Devil. The Devil, in keeping to his earlier promise, turned Jack away from entering Hell. “But where can I go?” Jack pleaded with him. “Back to where you came from!” replied the Devil. As the night was dark, and as the way was long, the Devil tossed to Jack a lighted coal from the fires of Hell. Jack, who was chewing on a turnip at the time, placed the coal inside it, and used this as a lantern to light his way in the dark. Ever since that day, Jack has been known as Jack of the Lantern, which became shortened over time to Jack O’Lantern. He still continues to travel the world over, waving his glowing ember in a vegetable in every direction, in search of a final resting place. And, much like the mysterious Will O’ the Wisp, he leads lost people who are out in the darkness away from the right path.
Ira: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a Jack O’Lantern by its diameter?
Isa: Pumpkin Pi!
Goblin: How you eat the candy bars you got for Halloween.
Pat: What amusement park ride do spooks like best?
Rick: The roller ghoster!
B is for broomsticks for witches to fly,
O is outrageous spooks that go by,
O is for orange pumpkins so bright,
! These are the signs of a Halloween night !
by Author Unknown
Hannah: What is evil on the inside and green on the outside?
Shanna: A witch dressed as a pickle!
Trick or treat -
Smell my feet,
Or give me something
Good to eat!
Penny: What do you call a goblin that gets too close to a campfire?
Lenny: A toasty ghosty!
Scarecrows have become a popular Halloween fixture. They symbolize the ancient agricultural roots of the Halloween Holiday.
Igor: What do you do with a green monster?
Boris: Wait until it ripens.
Nick: Where do ghosts go swimming?
Ken: In the Dead Sea.
Remember, it’s not all about the costumes, but all about how people in costumes interact with other people. If you dress as a witch, know some fun witch things to say and how to cackle. If you are dressed as a ghost, know how to moan and say, “Boo!” If you are Frankenstein’s monster, practice the stiff-legs walk with your arms stretched horizontally at shoulder level in front of you.
Laura: Why was the witch’s cat giggling hysterically?
Delores: Because it was a giggle-puss.
Question: Why do mummies have trouble paying attention in school?
Answer: They are too wrapped up in themselves.
Lynn: Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets?
Quinn: At boo!-tiques.
What to be for Hallowe’en
A hobo or a bride?
A witch or scary goblin,
It’s not easy to decide.
Hugh: What did the mummy detective say?
Grant: “Alright, let’s wrap this case up.”
Halloween is celebrated on 31 October of each year.
Edna: How do you mend a broken Jack O’Lantern?
Ned: With a pumpkin patch!
Hans: Where do baby ghosts go during the daytime?
Lars: Day-scare centers!
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
I’d rather be foolish than ghoulish,
I’d rather dress up as a clown;
I’d rather wear clothes with polka dot bows,
I’d much rather smile than frown.
I’d rather be kooky than spooky,
I’d rather be friendly than mean;
I’d rather go greeting than tricking and treating,
I’d rather have a fun Halloween!
by Author Unknown
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
Lacy: How can you tell when windows are scared?
Lucy: They get shudders!
Jimmy: What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Jeremiah: Boo boos.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
We’re out trick-or-treating
How about you?
Nora: What did the French fries dress up as for Halloween?
Nadia: Masked potatoes.
To all good little goblins, ghouls, and ghosts, we wish you an extremely spooktacular Halloween . . . from MFOL!