Feeling tired? Feeling unenthusiastic? Feeling weak? It’s food to the rescue! . . . within reason . . . on MFOL!
 Ingredients For Jam
Sufficient glasses And a good-sized kettle, Fresh-hulled berries, Well-shaped and crimson red. Sugar . . . and to put you On your mettle A small boy waiting With a piece of bread. By Mary Cooper  The Apple
Up in the apple tree, High off the ground, I see an apple So big and round. I climb up the tree, And hold on tight. I pick that apple And take a bite! By Author Unknown  Vegetables And Fruits
The food we like to eat that grows On vines and bushes and trees Are vegetables and fruits, my friend, Like cherries, grapes, and peas. Apples and oranges and peaches are fruits, And so are tangerines. Lettuce and carrots are vegetables, Like squash and lima beans. By Author Unknown  Ode To Stew
I surely never hope to view A steak as luscious as a stew. The latter is the tasty goal Of elements in perfect whole, A mad assemblage of legumes Exuding warm ambrosial fumes, Each seasoning of proper length, Proving in Union there’s strength. A steak is grander, it is true, Yet needs no special skill to brew. It is an art a stew to make, But anyone can broil a steak. By Author Unknown  Please join us as we attempt to discover why people everywhere seem to be going bananas . . . “I am going bananas. That’s what I say to my bananas before I leave the house.” -Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Meeting and Parting” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Bradly: What do you call a banana that plays the trumpet? Dylan: A tooty-fruity. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Music” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Some horticulturists believe that bananas were the Earth’s very first fruit, and they may have been the first fruit plant cultivated by humans, many thousands of years ago. One of the earliest known written records of bananas dates back to the time of Alexander the Great’s conquest of India in 327 B.C.E. Banana plants have been traced back to the Malaysian jungles of Southeast Asia, where many varieties and names for the banana are found. In 1516, Friar Tomàs de Berlanga sailed to the Caribbean, carrying the roots of banana plants with him. Upon his arrival, he planted bananas in the ground, thus beginning the banana plant’s future in the New World. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About History” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Goblin: What do you call a scary banana? Spook: A boo-nana. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Ghosts And Apparitions” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Bananas are grown for export in Latin American and South American countries including Brazil, Costa Rica, Ecuador, Colombia, Honduras, Panama, and Guatemala, where the climate and soil conditions are favorable to their growth. Bananas are a common food crop in Africa. Bananas are also grown in parts of India and China, which are now the world’s two top producers of bananas. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Geography” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Jillian: Why did the monkey like the banana? William: Because he thought the banana had lots of ‘appeal.’ Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Appearances and Looks” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Occasionally, bananas arriving in the countries to which they are shipped are found to be harboring spiders such as tarantulas, snakes, and other tropical creatures. Buy a bunch of bananas, and maybe you will get a free pet, too - if you are lucky! The highest average per capita consumption of bananas in the world is in Uganda, where residents eat an average of 227 kilograms (500 pounds) of bananas per person each year. Bananas are such an important part of the diet of Ugandans that their single word ‘matooke’ has come to mean both ‘banana’ and ‘food.’ Julian: What did the banana say to the elephant? Julius: Nothing - bananas cannot talk. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Conversations and Spoken Communications” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. In Southeast Asia, banana leaves are used to wrap food, instead of plastic wrap, providing a unique flavor and aroma to nasi lemak and Indian banana leaf rice. Banana leaf packaging is completely natural and fully biodegradable, meaning it is not harmful to the environment. Ken: What is long and yellow and always points north? Len: A magnetic banana. The Banana Club Museum, located on Highway 111 in Mecca, California, United States of America, houses the world’s largest collection of items devoted to a single fruit. They have more than 17,000 banana items, most of which have been donated by members. To join the club, visit www.bananaclub.com. Banana plants are scientifically classified in the genus Musa of the Musaceae family. They belong to the same family as lilies, orchids, and palms. The scientific name for banana is ‘musa sapientum’ meaning ‘fruit of the wise men.’ “Life is full of banana skins. You slip, you carry on.” -Daphne Guinness Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Life and Living” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Because banana plants are herbaceous plants, they do not have woody stems, or trunks and branches, like trees have, and all their plant matter above the ground decays back into the soil at the end of each annual, or yearly, cycle. However, the part of the plants that is below the ground survives from year to year, and can be hundreds of years old. Although some types of wild bananas grow large, hard seeds, domestic banana plants, from which come the bananas we buy in markets and grocery stores, do not grow from seeds but rather from corms that grow below the ground. Corms are also known as rhizomes or bulbs, and are sometimes referred to by the simplistic term ‘roots,’ although in the case of the banana plants, they are specialized stems of the plants. Banana plant corms look like brown balls, and are about 25 centimeters (10 inches) in diameter. New offshoots, or the part of the plants that grows above the ground, develop from the corms year after year. Erma: Why do bananas never get lonely? Emma: Because they go around in bunches. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Loneliness And Solitude” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. The Washington Banana Museum in Auburn, Washington, United States of America is dedicated to bananas. Visit: https://www.bananamuseum.com/.  Bananas grow on tropical plants that can be easily mistaken for trees, due to their large size and height, but are actually the world’s largest herbaceous plants, or herbs, and banana fruits are classified botanically as berries. What may seem to be banana plant trunks are sheaths, or stems, formed by tightly wrapped overlapping leaves. Their central stems can grow to be 6 to 7.6 meters (20 to 25 feet) tall, and their leaves can grow up to 2.7 meters (9 feet) long. Wally: They are not going to grow bananas any longer. Walter: Really - why not? Wally: Because they are long enough already! The yellow Cavendish banana is the most popular variety of banana in the world. It is the banana most often seen in American and European markets. Before the Cavendish, the Gros Michel was the main type of banana that was exported on a large scale. In the 1950’s, the Gros Michel was ravaged by Panama disease and is no longer sold commercially. Panama disease, also known as Fusarium wilt, is a fungus that attacks the roots of banana plants. It was initially reported in Australia in the nineteenth century. The Cavendish banana is resistant to the strain of Panama disease that effectively wiped out the Gros Michel banana, and is safe for now; however, it is believed that the Cavendish, like the Gros Michel, will eventually be devastated by Panama disease and someday will no longer be produced commercially. This could happen within twenty years, and it would be a major blow to the banana industry. Scientists are now trying to develop a hybrid, disease-resistant banana. Ruby: How do you make a banana split? Jade: Sneak up on a banana and shout, “Boo!” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Fears and Courage” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. The Cavendish is a shorter, stubbier plant than earlier varieties. It was developed to resist plant diseases, insects, and windstorms better than its predecessors did. The fruit of the Cavendish plant is of medium size, with a creamier texture and a thinner peel than some other varieties. Although the yellow Cavendish variety is the banana most commonly seen in markets around the world, sweet bananas come in a variety of colors, including green, yellow, red, purple, and brown. Among varieties of wild bananas are found bubblegum pink bananas with fuzzy skins, green-and-white striped bananas with pulp the color of orange sherbet, and red bananas with reddish-purple skin, which are said to taste like strawberries when cooked. Among the most common types of bananas are the Dwarf Cavendish, the Valery, and the Williams Hybrid bananas. Other types of bananas include Apple and the small red banana called the Red Jamaica. Lady Finger bananas are small, sweet, and have relatively thin skins. More than 500 varieties of bananas exist. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Differences and Individuality” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “On a traffic light, yellow means yield, and green means go, and red means stop. On a banana, it’s just the opposite: yellow means go ahead, green means stop, and red means, where’d you get that banana?” -Mitch Hedberg (1968 - 2005) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Mitch Hedberg” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Bananas are one of the few fruits that ripen best off the plant. If left on the plant, the fruit splits open and the pulp develops a ‘cottony’ texture and flavor. In tropical growing areas, bananas for domestic, or within the country or area, consumption are cut while still green and then stored in moist shady places to ripen slowly. Bananas for export are picked while still green and unripe, and are ripened in special storage chambers using ethylene after they reach their destinations. “People are like bananas - when they leave the bunch, they get skinned.” -Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Humans And Human Nature” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Wilbur: What do you call two bananas? Willis: A pair of slippers. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Shoes and Footwear” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Take bananas apart when you get them home, because if you leave them connected together at the stem, they will ripen much faster. Purportedly, wrapping banana stems tightly in plastic cling wrap will make them last three to five days longer. To ripen bananas faster, put them in a sealed container - ideally a brown paper bag with the top tightly folded over. Adding another fruit to the bag, such as an apple or a tomato, will further speed up the ripening process. As bananas ripen, the starch in the fruit turns to sugar; therefore, the riper the bananas, the sweeter they will taste. If bananas are placed in a refrigerator, the peels will turn an unattractive, blotchy dark brown or black, but the fruit inside will remain unaffected. And finally, although usually thrown away, banana peels are edible, though not very palatable unless cooked. Milford: Why did the banana go to the hospital? Clifford: Because it was not peeling well. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Doctors And Health Practitioners” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Though not commonly eaten in much of the world, plantains are a dietary staple in many tropical regions. Plantains are thicker-skinned, larger, have a firmer flesh, and are less sweet tasting than ‘dessert’ varieties of bananas. They are starchy and require some type of cooking to break down the starches into sugars, to make them edible. Plantains are usually baked, boiled, or fried before being eaten, much as potatoes are prepared.  My Pet Banana I bought a pet banana and I tried to teach him tricks, but he wasn’t any good at catching balls or fetching sticks. He could never catch a Frisbee, and he wouldn’t sit or speak, though we practiced every afternoon and evening for a week. He refused to shake or wave or crawl or beg or take a bow, and I tried, but couldn’t make him bark or get him to meow. He was terrible at playing dead. He couldn’t jump a rope. When he wouldn’t do a single trick I simply gave up hope. Though I liked my pet banana, I returned him with regret. Boy, I sure do hope this watermelon makes a better pet. By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poetry” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. A typical banana is yellow and curved, weighs about 125 grams (about 4.41 ounces), and contains about 111 calories, about 448 milligrams of potassium, about 18 percent of the United States Department of Agriculture’s ‘Recommended Daily Intake’ of vitamin C, and about 13 percent of the USDA’s ‘RDI’ of dietary fiber. Bananas have no cholesterol, no sodium, and a negligible amount of fat. Bananas are 75 percent water. Overall, bananas have good nutritional value and make a healthy snack or mealtime addition. So, as the monkeys say, “Oo-oo aa-aa oo-oo aa-aa!”  Let us consider that some more. Bananas are low in calories and have almost no fat, no sodium, and no cholesterol. They are one of the few foods that contain the six major vitamin groups. Bananas contain vitamin B6, which the brain needs to function properly. They contain vitamin C, which prevents scurvy. Bananas help the body produce serotonin, a natural substance that may possibly alleviate depression in some people. They are the only fruit that contains the amino acid tryptophan. Bananas are also high in potassium and fiber. To learn if bananas are right for you, speak with your local grocer or monkey - wait, that can’t be right . . . instead, consult your nutritionist, dietician, physician, or other educated, trained, licensed professional human person.
Derek: Why don’t bananas snore? Erika: Because they don’t want to wake up the rest of the bunch. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of this article, or click or tap on these words to visit the Sleep Page. Bananas are excellent fuel for athletic and fitness activities, because they replenish necessary carbohydrates, glycogen, and body fluids that are used up during exercise. Containing three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose, and glucose, bananas give people an instant, sustained, and substantial boost of energy. Research shows that two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous ninety-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit among the world’s leading athletes. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Physical Fitness and Exercising” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. The fastest marathon ever completed by a competitor dressed as a fruit was run in 2 hours, 58 minutes, and 20 seconds. The record was set at the Barcelona Marathon on 6 March 2011, and the runner was Patrick Wightman from the United Kingdom, who dressed as a banana. Do you think a zucchini could run faster? Loren: What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? Laura: A banana dressed up as a cucumber. Bananas are slightly radioactive due to the small amount of naturally occurring isotope potassium-40 that is found in their overall relatively high potassium content. While bananas are more radioactive than most other fruits, you need not be alarmed, because their naturally occurring radiation is not high enough to harm humans. Lynnette: What is yellow and flashes? Jennet: A banana with a loose connection. Banana: An elongated curved fruit, which grows in bunches, and has a sweet creamy flesh and smooth skin. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Daffynitions and Definitions” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “Beware the elongated yellow fruit. Have no unreasonable fear of repetition . . . The story is told of a feature writer who was doing a piece on the United Fruit Company. He spoke of bananas once; he spoke of bananas twice; he spoke of bananas yet a third time, and now he was desperate. “The world’s leading shippers of the elongated yellow fruit,” he wrote. A fourth ‘bananas’ would have been better.” -James J. Kilpatrick: as quoted in William Safire: “Words of Wisdom” (1990), ‘Language/Writing,’ page 214 “Bananas just look so relaxed. I bet no one ever yells at a banana and says, ‘Hey, get out of the produce section and go get a job!’” -Author Unknown Bananas are a perennial crop that is grown and harvested all year round. ‘Perennial’ means the plants grow year after year, unlike some plants that are annuals and live for just one year, and other plants that are biennials and live for two years. Each banana plant produces only one cluster of fruit each year. The large clusters grow off the main stems of banana plants, and can weigh more than 100 pounds in total, with between 100 and 400 individual bananas per cluster. Because banana fruits are harvested every day of the year, they are always ‘in season,’ or available any day of the year, in grocery stores and markets. The “Banana Boat Song” (1923), also known as, “Yes, We Have No Bananas” was written by Irving Burgie (Lord Burgess), who was inspired by the banana shortage at the time. The song was sung by Harry Belafonte, became hugely popular, and continues to this day to be the best-known song about bananas. “Come, Mister Tally Man, tally me bananas . . . Daylight come and me wan’ go home . . .” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of this article, or click or tap on these words to visit the Silly Songs Page. Centuries ago, the varieties of bananas available to them were described by Arab traders as small and about the size of a person’s finger, so they called them ‘banan’ meaning ‘fingertips’ in Arabic. The phrase ‘going bananas’ is from the fruit’s whimsical association with monkeys. The term ‘banana republic’ was coined by the writer O. Henry. He originally used it in reference to Honduras, though the term has since been used to refer to any country that is politically unstable, relies heavily on simple agriculture, and is not technologically advanced. Bananas float in water. Naturally, you will want to test this for yourself, you good little scientist, you. Bananas, apples, and watermelons all float in water, which makes them good fruits to place in tubs of water so that guests at parties can go bobbing for fruit . . . although maybe not so much bobbing for watermelons, unless they happen to have mouths the size of the ones hippopotamuses have. The strings that go up and down the length of bananas under the peels are called phloem (pronounced like ‘floh-em’ or ‘flō'ǝm’; rhymes with ‘poem’) bundles. Phloem bundles help distribute nutrients throughout bananas as they grow. If you peel a banana from the bottom, you will not have to peel those little stringy things off it. It is said that monkeys do exactly that - they peel their bananas from the bottoms of the bananas up to the stems. If you like, on your next trip to the zoo, take along a bunch of bananas for the monkeys, and watch how they peel the bananas to verify this. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Zoos and Wild Animal Parks” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Chrissy: Why did the banana go out with the fig? Missy: Because he couldn’t find a date. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Dating and Courting” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Banana Day is observed on the third Wednesday of April each year. We have not been able to find any authoritative information on the holiday, so if you are interested in observing it, you could probably make up your own traditions. Perhaps you could dress up as a giant banana, call yourself Santa Banana, and walk around with a bunch of bananas over your back, handing one to each person you meet. James: Who brings presents to good little monkeys? Jamie: Banana Claus! Bananas And Plantains Quiz - Do bananas grow on trees? - Is a banana a fruit or a vegetable? - What is the difference between a dessert banana and a plantain? A man in India once ate 81 bananas in half an hour. Bananas And Plantains Quiz Answers - Bananas grow not on trees, but on the world’s largest and tallest herb plants. - Bananas are a type of fruit. - Dessert bananas are a type of banana that is slightly sweet and commonly eaten raw, while plantains are a type of banana that is less sweet and are cooked before being eaten. What is a top banana? The top banana is the one in the bunch that receives more sunlight, and becomes riper and sweeter, and is therefore ‘the best of the bunch.’ This is MFOL! . . . where you are always top banana . . . the absolute best of the bunch . . .  Assorted doughnuts . . . which one is your favorite? The two main types of doughnuts are those made from a cake-like batter, called cake doughnuts, and those made from yeast dough, called yeast doughnuts. Cake doughnuts have a consistency similar to dense, heavy cake, and yeast doughnuts have a consistency similar to lightweight bread. Yeast doughnuts could also be called bread doughnuts, if we lived in a world in which reason and logic rather than custom, or lazy old habits, prevailed. Canada has more doughnut shops per person than any other country in the world. This is a matter that needs to be looked into - exactly what is going on here? We will get right back to you with our report after we try some of these Canadian gooseberry jelly-filled doughnuts. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Canada” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.  Plain doughnut of the cake variety. More than 10 billion doughnuts are made in the United States of America each year. If there is not a doughnut shop in your area, do some market research to find out if opening one or more might be feasible. Most historians believe that the Dutch were the first to introduce the modern doughnut to North America in the form of ‘olykoeks,’ or ‘oily cakes’ as early as the mid-19th century. These early doughnuts were balls of cake fried in pork fat. Because the center of the cake did not cook as fast as the outside, the gooey center was often replaced with fruit or nuts.  Cream-filled doughnuts include Boston cream doughnuts (made with milk and eggs in the filling, as shown) and Bavarian cream-filled doughnuts (made with cream cheese). “A doughnut is a small fried cake of sweetened dough used to lull people into attending unnecessary meetings.” -Author Unknown  Doughnut seeds are actually commonly-available ring-shaped toasted-oat breakfast cereal food placed in packaging that resembles garden seeds packets. Though they will never grow into plants, doughnut seeds are an edible and harmless novelty item. You can easily make your own with a computer printer and a box of cereal. Types of Doughnuts - Apple Cider Doughnuts. - Crullers. - Doughnut Holes. - Glazed Doughnuts. - Iced Doughnuts. - Jelly Doughnuts. - Long Johns. - Plain Doughnuts. - Powdered Doughnuts. - Can you think of other types of doughnuts? A type of doughnut is mentioned in the Christian Bible and the Jewish Torah. In chapter 7, verse 12 of Leviticus, the scripture says that a thanksgiving to God should be made of “cakes mingled with oil, of fine flour, fried.” Martha: Why did the doughnut roll across the road? Martin: Because it fell off the bakery truck. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Road Crossings” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Even before people would trick or treat for candy, Halloween was celebrated by bobbing for doughnuts hung from a string. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Halloween” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut, who? Doughnut open the door - there are monsters everywhere! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Monsters” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. The origin of the word ‘doughnut’ is uncertain. Some researchers suggest the name refers to the nuts that were placed inside the ball of dough to compensate for the uncooked center. Other researchers claim it refers to ‘dough knots,’ which was a shape of early doughnuts. The origin of the doughnut is unknown, though different nationalities have had their own version of the treat throughout history. Washington Irving (1783 - 1859) was one of the first people to use the word ‘doughnut’ in print. In his “History of New York” (1809), he describes, “balls of sweetened dough, fried in hog’s fat, and called doughnuts.” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Writing and Writers” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. American ship captain Hanson Crockett Gregory (1832 - 1921) claimed to have invented the first ring-shaped doughnut, or a doughnut with a hole in the middle, while he was a sailor aboard a lime-trading ship, at 15 years of age on 22 June 1847. Doughnuts of the time were cakes fried in oil; however, while the outside would cook, the centers remained uncooked dough or batter. To solve this problem, as he said, “I took the cover off the ship’s tin pepper box, and - I cut into the middle of that doughnut the first hole ever seen by mortal eyes!” The new ring shape allowed the hot oil to cook the doughnut dough evenly and completely. Cal: What looks like half of a doughnut? Vin: The other half! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Appearances and Looks” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. During the time of whaling ships, whalers would sometimes celebrate the filling of the one-thousandth barrel with whale oil by frying doughnuts - not surprisingly - in whale oil. How do you celebrate the achievements in your life? Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Ships and Sailors” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. The first recorded use of the spelling variation ‘donut’ is found in the 1900 story “Peck’s Bad Boy and His Pa” by George W. Peck. In it, a character is quoted as saying, “Pa said he guessed he hadn’t got much appetite and he would just drink a cup of coffee and eat a donut.” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about History” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Would you prefer a chocolate doughnut or a chocolate donut? ‘Doughnut’ is the more traditional spelling, although the shortened form, ‘donut,’ is considered by some to be acceptable in less-formal usage. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Word Spellings” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. American explorer Richard Evelyn Byrd, Junior (1888 - 1957) took 100 barrels of doughnut flour, enough for 2 years, on one of his South Pole expeditions. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Adventure and Exploration” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Angus: What kind of doughnuts do people eat at the South Pole? Clyde: Frozen ones.  Sugar-glazed doughnut, also known simply as a glazed doughnut, of the yeast variety. Researchers have noted that the size of the hole in a doughnut correlates with the quality of the economy. Specifically, the worse the economy, the bigger the doughnut hole.  The missing centers of doughnuts are called ‘doughnut holes.’ Of course, many ring-shaped doughnuts are made without ever having had middles or centers in them, but doughnut holes are nonetheless somewhat-humorously sold as if that is their origin. The ones pictured above are of the yeast doughnut variety. In the 1934 movie “It Happened One Night,” Clark Gable started the trend of dunking doughnuts in milk when he showed a fellow actor the “right way to do it.” During the 1940’s, stars such as Johnny Carson, Pearl Buck, Red Skelton, Jimmy Durante, and Martha Graham were members of the National Dunking Association. The association even provided membership cards for dunkers. “Doughnut shop [sign]: No slam-dunking.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)  National Doughnut Day is observed on the first Friday of June every year. The holiday was established in 1938 to celebrate Salvation Army Workers, then known as Doughnut Girls, who supplied free doughnuts to American troops during World War 1. Another holiday celebrating the ubiquitous fried treat is National Doughnut Appreciation Day, which falls on 5 November of each year. Adolph Levitt, a Russian-born American, invented the first automated doughnut machine in 1920. He called it the “Wonderful Almost Human Automatic Doughnut Machine.”  At least 10 people in the United States of America have the surname, or last name, Doughnut or Donut. Ninety-five or more people have the surname Longjohn, which is the name of a long doughnut. Twelve people have the last name Bearclaw, 498 people have the surname Sprinkles, 470 people have the last name Fritter, and 1,634 have the surname Sugar.  Doughnuts can be as much as 25 percent fat because they absorb fat from the oil or grease in which they are fried.
A chocolate glazed doughnut has about 5 teaspoons of sugar. A possible dietary and nutritional counter-balance to that might be to eat, say, 30 pounds of broccoli or green beans for each chocolate glazed doughnut you eat. But to be sure, consult with your personal nutritionist beforehand. If a person added a doughnut a day to his or her regular diet, that person would gain about one additional pound for each 10 days. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Weight Loss and Weight Maintenance” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. To go from a size 6 to a size 14 in just 3 months, in order to portray the character Bridget Jones in the movie series by that name, actress Renée Zellweger said she ate 20 doughnuts a day. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Theater and Thespians” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. A typical glazed doughnut has about 240 calories, of which 120 are from fat. A 150-pound woman would have to walk 4 miles per hour for 48 minutes to burn off one 240-calorie doughnut. This would be equivalent to just over 4.8 kilometers (3 miles) distance. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Walking and Ambulating” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Fun fact: The hollow center of a ring-shaped doughnut, where there’s nothing, is entirely free of fat and calories. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Fun Facts and Trivia” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “Many people completely overlook the doughnut because they spend all their time looking at the hole.” -Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read the “Fun and Learning about Life and Living” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. As you go through life, my friend, Whatever be your goal, Keep your eye upon the doughnut, And not upon the hole. -Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poetic Epigrams” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “As I ramble through life, whatever be my goal, I will unfortunately always keep my eye upon the doughnut and not upon the whole.” -Wendy Wasserstein “Doughnut ever give up on your cherished hopes and dreams and goals and plans; continue to stick to them, just like the sweet sticky mess from a glazed doughnut continues to stick to your fingers after you have eaten the doughnut.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Beaumont’s Quotations” by David Hugh Beaumont. “Don’t miss the doughnut by looking through the hole.” -Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Wisdom and Advice” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Constance: What has no beginning, no end, and no middle? Connie: A doughnut. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Riddles and Puzzles” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. That pretty much covers everything from doughnuts to donuts . . . further fun follows next . . . and doughnut forget to ‘MFOL!’  The Roast Beef of Old England
When mighty Roast Beef was the Englishman’s food, It ennobled our veins and enriched our blood. Our soldiers were brave and our courtiers were good Oh! the Roast Beef of old England, And old English Roast Beef! But since we have learnt from all-vapouring France To eat their ragouts as well as to dance, We’re fed up with nothing but vain complaisance Oh! the Roast Beef of Old England, And old English Roast Beef! Our fathers of old were robust, stout, and strong, And kept open house, with good cheer all day long, Which made their plump tenants rejoice in this song - Oh! The Roast Beef of old England, And old English Roast Beef! But now we are dwindled to, what shall I name? A sneaking poor race, half-begotten and tame, Who sully the honours that once shone in fame. Oh! the Roast Beef of Old England, And old English Roast Beef! When good Queen Elizabeth sat on the throne, Ere coffee, or tea, or such slip-slops were known, The world was in terror if e’er she did frown. Oh! The Roast Beef of old England, And old English Roast Beef! In those days, if Fleets did presume on the Main, They seldom, or never, return’d back again, As witness, the Vaunting Armada of Spain. Oh! The Roast Beef of Old England, And old English Roast Beef! Oh then we had stomachs to eat and to fight And when wrongs were cooking to do ourselves right. But now we’re a . . . I could, but goodnight! Oh! the Roast Beef of Old England, And old English Roast Beef! by Henry Fielding: “The Grub Street Opera” (1731), Act iii, scene 2 Henry Fielding was born on 22 April 1707 in Sharpham, Somerset, England. He became a novelist, a dramatist, and an essayist. He is known for his humor and satire, and as the writer of the novel, “The History of Tom Jones, A Foundling” (1749). Aside from his literary achievements, he has a significant place in the history of law-enforcement, having founded in 1749 what some have called London’s first police force, the Bow Street Runners, using his authority as a magistrate. Henry Fielding passed on at 47 years of age on 8 October 1754 in Lisbon, Kingdom of Portugal.  Drive-through customer: “I would like a plain cheeseburger.”
Drive-through order-taker: “Would you like cheese on that?” Friends Al and Bert went to a Chinese restaurant, where they ordered the Chicken Surprise. The waiter brought the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as Al was about to serve himself, the lid of the pot rose slightly and he briefly saw two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slammed back down. “Good grief, did you see that?” he asked Bert. He did not, so Al asked him to look in the pot. Bert reached for it, and again the lid rose, and he saw two little eyes looking around before it slammed back down. Rather perturbed, he called the waiter over, explained what had happened, and demanded an explanation. “Please, sir,” stammered the waiter, “what did you order?” Bert replied, “Chicken Surprise.” “Ah! So sorry, my mistake,” said the waiter. “I brought you Peeking Duck!” Customer: I am so hungry that I could eat a horse. Waiter: Well, you have certainly come to the right place. Customer: Waitress, there is a fly in my peach cobbler. Waitress: Yes, sir. It is a fruit fly. A guy was down on Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco when he saw a seafood restaurant and a sign on the Specials Board which read, “Big Red Lobster Tales $5 Each.” Amazed at the great value, he said to the waitress, “$5 each for lobster tails - is that correct?” “Yes,” she said, “it is our special just for today.” “Well,” he said, “they must be little lobster tails.” “No,” she replied, “It is the really big lobster.” “Are you sure they are not green lobster tails, and a little bit tough?” “No,” she said, “it is the really big red lobster.” “Big red lobster tails, $5 each?” he said with amazement. “They must be old lobster tails.” “No, they are definitely today’s.” “Today’s big red lobster tails, for $5 each?” he repeated, astounded. “Yes,” she insisted. “Well, here is my five dollars,” he said, “I will take one.” She took the money and led him to a table where she invited him to sit down. She then sat down next to him, put her hand on his shoulder, leaned over close to him and said, “Once upon a time there was a really big red lobster . . .” Waiter: Would you like anything to drink? Customer: Yes, a diet water, please. “One of the greatest unsolved riddles of restaurant eating is that the customer usually gets faster service when the restaurant is crowded than when it is half empty; it seems that the less that the staff has to do, the slower they do it.” -Sydney J. Harris (Sydney Justin Harris (1917 - 1986)) Lucille: What is egomaniacal, dresses in a funny costume, and works in a restaurant? Lucinda: Darth Waiter. Customer: Waiter, what is this fly doing in my soup? Waiter: Looks like it is learning to swim, sir. “You name it, we will make it!” declared a big sign outside a new restaurant. “There is no food we cannot make for you!” “Excuse me sir,” said a man with a heavy Russian accent to the waiter, “I vould like, please, a garden salad with Russian dressing.” “Russian dressing?! I have never even heard of Russian dressing! What are we going to give this guy?” shouted the head cook. “Do not worry,” said the owner to the cook, “I will take care of everything, you just make the salad.” And that is how it happened that two minutes later the waiter walked out with a big garden salad and a newspaper picture of a Russian businessman knotting his necktie. Customer: Waiter, there is a small slug in my salad. Waiter: I am sorry - would you like me to bring you a bigger one? A guy walked into a restaurant and ordered eggs. The waitress said, “How would you like those eggs cooked?” The guy said, “That would be great.” Customer: Waitress, there is a caterpillar in my salad. Waitress: Yes, ma’am, there is no extra charge. Fried chicken is the most popular meal ordered in full-service (not fast-food) restaurants in the United States of America. The next in popularity is roast beef, followed by spaghetti, turkey, baked ham, and fried shrimp. Customer: Have you any wild duck? Waitress: No, but we can take a tame one and annoy him for you. “I’d probably be famous now if I wasn’t such a good waitress.” -Jane Siberry Customer: Waiter, you have your thumb on my steak! Waiter: Well, I did not want it to fall on the floor again, sir. A truck driver looked suspiciously at the soup he had just been served in a backwoods eatery. It contained dark flecks of seasoning, but two of the spots were suspicious. “Hey,” he called out to the waitress, “these particles in my soup - are they foreign objects?” She scrutinized his bowl. “No, sir!” she reassured him. “Those things live around here - they are strictly locals.” Customer: Waiter, there is a fly in my salad! Waiter: No, ma’am, that is our last customer, after our evil wizard chef cast a magic spell on her. Overheard: In a restaurant, always choose a table near a waiter. Customer: Server, there is a twig in my soup! Server: I am sorry, madam. I will call our branch manager. A guy walked into a fancy restaurant, but they would not let him in without a necktie. So, he got the jumper cables out of his car and tied them around his neck. He went back to the restaurant and said, “Okay, can I get in now?” They answered, “Well, all right, but you better not start anything.” Customer: Waitress, there is a fly in my chop suey. Waitress: That is nothing - wait until you see what is in your fortune cookie. Restaurant sign: Soup of the Day - Coffee. Joey: Why did the waiter serve the physician a peanut butter and cucumber sandwich? Josie: Because that is ‘just what the doctor ordered.’ Friends Millicent and Mildred were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place their order. There was a big sign posted: “No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.” Mildred said to Millicent, pointing to the sign, “Believe me, if I had a bill larger than a $20, I would not be eating here!” Customer: Waitress, there seems to be a hippopotamus in my soup. Waitress: Is it not quite remarkable that I could even carry it to your table? Overheard: I go to a restaurant not far from where I live that has the worst service. Sometimes I have to wait an hour to be served. I do not mind the long wait, though, because the food is so awful. Diner: Waitress, there is a fly in my soup. Waitress: Now that is a fly that knows good soup. “There is no such thing as a free lunch.” -Milton Friedman Diner: I just found a collar button in my soup. Waiter: I wondered where that was. “I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time,’ so I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955)) Customer to friend: This is a wonderful restaurant. I ordered salad, and I got the freshest salad in the world, I ordered coffee, and I got the freshest coffee in the world. Friend: I know - I ordered a small steak, and got a calf! Restaurant sign: Today’s Special - Buy one Fish & Chips for the price of two and receive a second Fish & Chips absolutely free! Customer: Waiter, there is a fly in my soup. Waiter: Wait one minute while I get a spider. I saw a sign in a restaurant that read, “Watch Your Hat and Coat.” So I did, and somebody stole my dinner! Customer: Waitress, there is a bee in my soup! Waitress: Yes, sir, it is the fly’s day off. A customer said to a waiter, “Please bring over the manager; I cannot tell if this is coffee or tea. I ordered coffee, but it tastes like gasoline.” The waiter replied, “If it tastes like gasoline; it is definitely coffee. The tea tastes like turpentine.” Waiter, there is a fly in my soup. Do not worry, sir. The spider in your salad will get it. Overheard: So, does this restaurant serve baby food? I never see it on the menu. Customer: There is a beetle in my soup! Server: Sorry, ma’am, we are all out of flies today. “Excuse me, but do you have dandruff?” asked the woman when her waiter kept scratching his head. “No, ma’am,” replied the waiter. “We only have what is on the menu.” Customer: Do you have frog’s legs? Waiter: Yes, sir. Customer: Then hop to the kitchen and get me a sandwich. Mouse An epicure, dining at Crewe, Found quite a large mouse in his stew; Said the waiter, “Don’t shout, And wave it about, Or the rest will be wanting one, too!” by Author Unknown Customer: Have you been to the zoo? Waiter: No, sir. Customer: Well, you ought to go. You would enjoy seeing the turtles go whizzing by. Sign behind counter at a diner: Please do not complain about the coffee - you may be old and weak yourself one day. Customer: Waiter, bring me something to eat, and make it snappy! Waiter: How about a crocodile sandwich, ma’am? Today’s Special: Barely Soup. “The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.” -George Carlin Customer: Waitress, what kind of soup is this? I ordered pea soup, and this tastes like soap. Waitress: My mistake, that is tomato soup. Pea soup tastes like shampoo. Overheard: I have been eating fast food for years, and it is really starting to slow me down. Diner: This sauerkraut is not sour enough. Waiter: Sir, it is not sauerkraut - it is noodles. Diner: In that case, it is sour enough for noodles! The chef at a family-run restaurant had broken her leg and came into our insurance office the other day to file a disability claim. As I scanned the claim form, I did a double take. Under ‘Reason unable to work,’ she had written, “Cannot stand to cook any longer.” Customer: This food is not fit for a pig! Waitress: I am sorry, ma’am; I will bring you some that is. A health inspector walked into a restaurant and said to the manager, “You have too many roaches in here.” The manager said, “How many am I allowed?” Customer: I have not found any ham in this ham sandwich yet. Waitress: Try another bite. Customer, with a mouth full of sandwich: Nope, not yet. Waitress: Well, you must have gone right past it. If restaurant critics really do get to eat for free, then we want to start a new second career during our lunch hour today. Waitress: We are famous for our snails here. Customer: I know. I have been served by one already. I went to a restaurant, and they had Mulligan stew on the menu, so I called a waiter to get me a clean menu that I could read. Diner: Waiter! This stew is terrible. What is it made of? Waiter: The chef calls it his enthusiastic soup. Diner: Why? Waiter: He puts everything he has into it. In a typical restaurant, customers get 27 cents worth of food for each dollar they spend. We certainly pay a ‘good deal’ of money for atmosphere and service. Customer: Waiter, there is a fly in my soup. Waiter: Go ahead and eat it, there are plenty more where that came from! Customer: Waitress, this fish is bad. Waitress: You are a bad fish. Bad, bad, bad! Tip for spotting a good restaurant: Do not go to a restaurant that has a ‘help wanted’ sign in the window, because it is hard enough to get waited on in a restaurant that has plenty of help. Waitress: How did you find your steak, sir? Customer: Well, I looked and looked, and there it was, hiding under a pea. A man went to a restaurant and ordered a steak with a baked potato. About halfway through dinner, he called the waitress over and said, “Ma’am, this potato is bad.” She nodded, picked up the potato, and smacked it. Then she put it back on his plate and said, “Sir, if that potato causes any more trouble, you just let me know.” Customer: This soup tastes funny. Waitperson: Then why are you not laughing? Customer: Make me a cheeseburger. Short-Order Cook: Fine. Presto-change-o, you are a cheeseburger! Customer: Waiter, do you serve crabs here? Waiter: Yes, ma’am, we serve everybody. Customer: Waiter, why is there a frog in my drink? Waiter: Because things go better with croak. Customer: Waiter, what is this fly doing in my alphabet soup? Waiter: It appears he is learning to read, sir. Diner: Waiter, do you have frog’s legs? Waiter: No, sir; I have always walked like this. Customer: Waitress, there is a fly in my soup! Waitress: Yes, sir, and if you will push over that pea, he will play water polo. Customer: Take back this steak. I have been trying to cut it for ten minutes, but it is so tough I cannot make a dent in it. Waitress: I am sorry, sir, but I cannot take it back. You have bent it. Customer: Waiter, there is a fly in my stew! Waiter: They do not seem to care what they eat, do they? Customer: Waiter, there are 134 flies in my soup. Waiter: Two more, and we will beat the world record! Customer: Waiter, there is a cockroach in my salad! Waiter: Sorry. We ran out of flies. Customer: Waiter, there is a fly in my soup. Waiter: Hang on; I will get you a fork. Customer: I cannot eat this steak. Call the manager. Waiter: It is no use, sir. He could not eat it either. Customer: There is a fly in my soup. Waiter: They come for the ambience . . . and stay for the food. At the MFOL! Comedy Restaurant, not only does the food look funny, but it also tastes funny . . .  If you listen very, very carefully, you might just hear these scrumptious baked goods calling out your name . . . Two muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said to the other, “Isn’t this great! We’re turning such a lovely golden brown.” The other muffin screamed, “Aaahhh! A talking muffin!” ‘Pound cake’ is so named not because of the weight of the cake itself, but because the recipes once called for a pound of butter, a pound of sugar, a pound of eggs, and a pound of flour. Bryce: What does bread do on vacation? Brianna: Loaf around. English muffins were invented in about 1880 in New York City, New York, United States of America, by Samuel Bath Thomas. He called them ‘toaster crumpets,’ although they eventually came to be called ‘English muffins’ possibly sometime around 1902. They are also known as ‘breakfast muffins,’ and in the United Kingdom (which includes England), they are known simply as ‘muffins.’ To serve, first separate the halves, using a fork if need be. They can then be toasted and smeared with butter and jam; used to make breakfast sandwiches with fried or scrambled eggs, ham or sausage or bacon, and cheese; or made into mini pizzas by topping with pizza sauce or spaghetti sauce or tomato sauce, cheese, and any other available toppings typically put on pizzas, such as sliced pepperoni, sliced mushrooms, or sliced olives. What was the best thing before sliced bread? A customer in a bakery was carefully examining all the rich-looking pastries displayed on trays in the glass cases. When a clerk approached him and asked, “What would you like?” he answered, “I’d like that chocolate-covered, cream-filled doughnut, that jelly-filled doughnut, and that cheese Danish.” Then with a sigh, he added, “But I’ll take that oat-bran muffin.” Baker’s tip: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there will not be any white mess on the outside of the cake. “Gather the crumbs of happiness and they will make you a loaf of contentment.” -Author Unknown Estelle: Why did the coffee cake have to be retrained for his job? Stella: Because he was doing such a ‘crumby’ job. Bundt, chiffon, and marble are types of cake. It was the night of the worst blizzard of the year. The streets were filled with drifting snow, and the winds were howling fiercely. A man, covered with snow and frost, entered a bakery. He said to the baker, “I’ll have one roll.” The baker wrapped the one roll and asked if there was anything else he could get for him. “No, that’s it,” said the man, “just the one roll.” The baker said, “You came out on the worst night of the year to buy just one roll?” The man said, “Yes, for just one roll.” The baker asked, “Are you married?” The man said, “Of course. How did you know?” Overheard: I always wanted to be a baker, so I worked and saved, until I finally ‘raised enough dough’ to open my own shop. “God gives us the ingredients for our daily bread, but He expects us to do the baking.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))  A piece of cake can brighten up just about anyone’s day . . . David: When is a cake like a golf ball? Mavis: When it has been sliced. Jerrold: What is a baker’s favorite sport? Jerry: Baseball, because he’s always shouting, “Batter up!” William Penn, the founder and mayor of Philadelphia, had two aunts - Hattie and Sophia, who were skilled in the baking arts. One day, ‘Big Bill,’ as he was known, was petitioned by the citizens because the three bakeries in the town had, during the Revolution, raised the price of pies to the point that only the rich could afford them. Not wanting to challenge the bakeries directly, he turned to his aunts and asked their advice. When they had heard the story, the two elderly ladies were so incensed over the situation that they offered to bake one hundred pies themselves, and sell them for two cents lower that any of the bakeries were charging. It was a roaring success. Their pies sold out quickly, and very soon, they had managed to bring down the prices of all kinds of pastries in Philadelphia. In fact, to this very day, their achievements are remembered as the ‘remarkable Pie rates of Penn’s aunts.’ Yeast: The stuff that makes dough grow. “All sorrows are less with bread.” -Miguel de Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1547 - 1616)): “Don Quixote” (1615) Marcy: How do you stop a bagel from rolling away? Darcy: Put lox on it. “As the breadwinner for his family, the baker could not afford to loaf.” -Author Unknown Overheard: Working in a bakery is no piece of cake! Tongue Twister: I bought a batch of baking powder and baked a batch of biscuits. I brought a big basket of biscuits back to the bakery and baked a basket of big biscuits. Then I took the big basket of biscuits and the basket of big biscuits that was next to the big basket and put a bunch of biscuits from the basket into a box. Then I took the box of mixed biscuits and a biscuit mixer and brought the basket of biscuits and the box of mixed biscuits and the biscuit mixer to the bakery and opened a can of sardines. Vera: Why was the cake as hard as stone? Vernon: Because it was a marble cake. A dozen is twelve, but a ‘baker’s dozen’ is thirteen - why? Far away and long ago, any baker who sold someone a dozen rolls or cakes and miscounted, putting only ten or eleven baked goods in a customer’s order, could receive a very heavy penalty under the law, so to stay out of trouble, bakers started giving customers thirteen items when they ordered a dozen. ▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫ Mom’s Famous Brownies Recipe Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan. Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Junior, “No, no.” Add margarine to 2 cups sugar. Take shortening can away from Junior and clean walls. Measure 1/3 cup cocoa. Take shortening can away from Billy again and bathe cat. Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat’s fur. Assemble 4 eggs, 2 teaspoons of vanilla, and 1 and 1/2 cups of sifted flour. Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation. Take telephone away from Junior and assure party on the line the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill. Measure 1 teaspoon salt, 1/2 cup nuts, and beat all ingredients well. Let cat out of cupboard. Pour mixture into well-greased 9 inch by 13 inch pan. Bake 25 minutes. Rescue cat and take kazoo away from Billy. Explain to kids that you have no idea if cats can play kazoos. Put cat outside while there’s still time and he’s still able to run away. Frosting - Mix the following in saucepan: 1 cup sugar, 1 ounce unsweetened chocolate, and 1/4 cup margarine. Take the teddy bear out of the broiler, carry it out of the house, and throw it way up into the air so that it lands way up on the roof where the Frisbee and the basketball and the boomerang have disappeared to. Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn’t know Junior had slipped out of the house and was heading for the Thompson’s turkey farm. Put Junior in playpen. Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes. Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a toy snake in man’s front door mail slot. Promise to keep all toy snakes at home. Tie Billy to clothesline. Remove burned brownies from oven. Hope this brought a smile to your face! ▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫  Bread has become the prime symbol of nourishment and sharing. The breaking of bread is considered to be a symbolic gesture. The word ‘companion’ is derived from Latin ‘com’ meaning ‘together,’ and ‘panis’ meaning ‘bread.’ A companion is literally one with whom one comes together for bread.
Bread: Raw toast. If a breadcrumb was lying on a table and someone cut it in half, would the result be two crumbs or two halves of a crumb? A ‘bake sale’ is a traditional means of raising money for a cause such as a youth group, church, school, or civic organization. The usual way of putting one together is to find a place to hold the event, get some folding tables, folding chairs, tablecloths, print some flyers, and then ask people to bake and donate items such as cakes, cookies, cinnamon rolls, pies, cupcakes, pastries, dinner rolls, and so forth. Items such as cookies can be sold singly or by the dozen. Volunteers can help with sales at such events. I applied a job at a bakery recently because I really kneaded the dough . . . Bakers in the United States of America were ordered to stop selling sliced bread starting on 18 January 1943 and continuing for the duration of World War 2. Only whole loaves were to be made available to the public. The American government never explained how this action helped the war effort. Unleavened bread: Bread made without any ingredients. ▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫ Ice Cream Bread Recipe Ingredients □ 2 cups any flavor of ice cream □ 1.5 cups self-rising flour Directions 1. Mix until all flour is moistened. 2. Bake in a greased bread pan at 180 degrees Celsius (350 degrees Fahrenheit) for 45 minutes. ▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w ▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫ “Bakers earn their bread and butter.” -Author Unknown If flour, water, and salt are mixed, the result is glue. If eggs, baking powder, and oil are added, the result is cake. Where does the glue go? Several people were all posed the following question: “What is pi?” An engineer replied, “It is approximately 3 and 1/7.” A physicist answered, “It is 3.14159.” A mathematician thought a bit, and stated, “It is equal to pi.” A baker said, “Pie is a fun and delicious dessert!” “Within this thin wafer of bread is caught up symbolically the labor of plow and of sowing, of harvest and threshing, of milling, of transportation, of financing, of selling and packaging. Man’s industrial life is all there.” -Wilford O. Cross, commenting on a slice of bread “Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.” -Author Unknown We hope you enjoyed this eclectic collection of odds-and-ends related to baked goods and bakers. More maddeningly marvelous mayhem follows below . . . what?! Oh, apparently it’s somewhat silly, too . . .  And so now we discuss the many and varied merits of carrots . . . Carrots are grown as food and medicine all over the world. All parts of the carrot plant are edible to humans. The tubular taproots of carrots are a vegetable for culinary purposes, and can be eaten raw or cooked. The green leaves of carrots are edible as a leaf vegetable, though less commonly eaten by humans. The root, leaves, and seeds of carrots are used for their supposed curative benefits in treating various maladies. Ethel: What did the carrot say to the tomato? Esther: I don’t know - I didn’t even know carrots could talk! Carrot plants are classified as herbs, which are plants that can be grown for either their green leaves or flowers. However, carrots are also grown for their vegetable root. They are a member of the Umbelliferae family, which includes caraway, carrots, celery, cilantro, dill, fennel, and parsley. The leaves of carrots can grow to be as much as 1 meter (3.28 feet) in height. Their main root typically grows to be between 4 and 10 inches in length. Riddle: I grow underground, I am commonly orange, but I am also found in a variety of other colors, and I am good to eat - what am I? Solution: I am a vegetable called a carrot. Cultivated carrots contain about 88 percent water, 7 percent sugar, 1 percent protein, 1 percent fiber, 1 percent ash, and 0.2 percent fat. One cup of raw carrots contains about 52 calories. Orange carrots get their color from beta carotene, a red-orange pigment found in some plants and fruits. Beta carotene is a substance that is converted to Vitamin A in the human body. Carrots have more beta carotene than any other vegetable. One-half cup of cooked carrots contains four times the recommended daily intake of Vitamin A as beta carotene. Jimmy: Why is a carrot orange and pointy? Jamie: Because if it were red and round it would be a tomato! Carrots can be prepared for eating in a variety of ways. The root can be eaten raw as is, and it can be grated, sliced, or juiced. The root can also be boiled, pulped, mashed, puréed, fried, steamed, stewed, or baked. Carrots can be dehydrated or deep-fried to make chips, flakes, and powder. Carrots are used in stir-fries, salads, soups, and stews, or are added to baby foods and pet foods. The natural sugars and sweetness of carrots allow them to be used in carrot cakes and other desserts, jams, and juices. Shredded or finely diced carrots can be added to mara nara sauces, or red sauces, such as spaghetti sauce, to mellow the acidity of the tomatoes. The best seasonings for cooked carrots are cinnamon, cloves, marjoram, nutmeg, rosemary, and sage.  Carrot juice contains crystallizable and uncrystallizable sugar, a small quantity of starch, extractine, gluten, albumen, volatile oil on which the medicinal properties of the root depend and which gives carrots their distinctive odor, vegetable jelly or pectin, saline, malic acid, tannins, and an odorless, tasteless principle called carotin. If people eat too many carrots, will they turn orange? Carotenoids, which are the pigments that makes carrots orange, will give skin a yellow-orange coloration if a large quantity of carrots or foods containing carrots such as vegetable juice blends, are eaten or drunk over a long period of time. The coloration is most noticeable on the palms or soles of feet, and is called carotenemia. There is no need to worry, however, as the condition requires a high amount of carrot consumption and is completely reversible by reducing carrot consumption. Ed: What vegetable do all other vegetables fear? Edna: A Halloween scarrot. Cultivated carrots have a somewhat obscure history, and it is difficult to determine exactly when domestication of the plants first took place. Human language, with its words and their meanings, has developed slowly and somewhat haphazardly. So, for example, in some instances it can be unclear whether people of long ago were writing about carrots or parsnips. Wild carrots originated more than 5,000 years ago in the part of the world that later became known as the Iranian Plateau, a region that includes present-day Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iran. None of these countries existed at that time, so it can be accurately stated that carrots are older than any of these countries. Wild varieties of carrots with purple, red, green, black, yellow, and white roots still grow there. Cultivated carrots with thicker roots, milder and sweeter flavors, and orange color would appear much later as a result of human cultivation. English botanist William Turner made the term ‘wild carrot’ the official name for the plant in his work, “The Names of Herbes” (1548).  Wild carrot plants, like those shown flowering in the picture above, are also known as Queen Anne’s Lace. They have a symmetrical array of small white florets, with a superficial resemblance to lace doilies. Near the center of most of these white expanses can be found a singular purple floret, whose purpose is a subject of debate among botanists. Wild carrot plants have small, tough to chew, bitter tasting roots that are often unfit to eat, while cultivated carrots have thick, juicy, sweet roots. Wild carrot plants flower around June to August of the northern hemisphere’s Summer, with a bright white flower. Some people say wild carrots are the ancestors of cultivated carrots, but others say they are not, and both plants exist in the world today. The idea that domestic carrots were developed from wild carrots came about possibly because the two plants have a similar smell and taste. Botanists have not been able to develop edible vegetables from wild carrots, and when cultivation of garden carrots lapses just a few generations, they apparently revert to their ancestral plants, which are quite different from the wild carrots. The Ancient Romans ate raw carrots dressed in oil, vinegar, and salt. They ate cooked carrots with a sauce of oil, cumin, and salt. The Romans invading Britain in the second century brought with them coriander, garden carrots, fennel, garlic, leeks, onions, mint, thyme, and parsley, to name just a few of their plants. Roman soups could be quite elaborate. Perhaps the oldest surviving soup recipe in the world appears in a fourth century cookbook by Apicius, based on the notes of a cook who lived three centuries earlier. The soup is called Pultes Iulianae, or Julian Pottage. Ancient Greeks and Ancient Romans had carrots, but not the orange varieties now common. Instead, they ate the less cultivated wild varieties of carrots with purple or white roots. Carrots are biennials, or plants that in the first year of life do most of their growing, followed by a season of dormancy such as Winter, and in their second year go through a growth spurt followed by flowering, fruiting, and going to seed. Carrots are best harvested while still young. Older carrots, carrots that have not received enough water while growing, and carrots that have flowered and gone to seed, can become woody or wood-like, meaning they are tough to chew, dry, and have lost most their flavor. Chewing on a very old carrot is possibly less appetizing, and certainly less interesting, than chewing on a wood stick with the bark still attached to it.  Some varieties of carrots contain anthocyanin pigments, which gives them a red, purple, or black color. A yellow variety without anthocyanin appeared in the 16th century and became widespread. Also in the 16th century, the familiar orange variety that is rich in the nutrient carotene was produced. Dutch carrot growers in Holland during the 16th century crossed carrot plants having pale yellow roots with carrot plants having red roots, and by chance their experiments yielded carrot plants with orange roots, which became the most common type of cultivated carrot even into modern times. One fanciful story is that the orange carrot was developed in the Netherlands in the seventeenth century to honor the Dutch royal family, that being William of Orange and the House of Orange. Though orange carrots do date from the Netherlands in the sixteenth century, it is unlikely that honoring William of Orange had anything to do with the chance development of them. No documentary evidence supports this story, and it is likely nothing more than an invention of someone’s imagination. The newly orange carrots made their way to England during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I. Carrots were first generally cultivated in England during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I (1558 - 1603), having been introduced by the Flemings, who had taken refuge from the persecutions of Philip II of Spain. The Flemings, finding the soil around Sandwich to be favorable for carrots, grew them there. The vegetable was a favorite of Queen Elizabeth I. The story goes that a deputy to the English court presented Queen Elizabeth I with a tub of butter and a wreath of tender carrots emblazoned with diamonds. This would have been a gift intended to stand out from any other gifts she might have received. Purportedly, she removed the diamonds and sent the carrots and butter to the kitchen, where they became the well-known side dish called buttered carrots. During the reign of King James I of England (1603 - 1625), fashionable ladies decorated their hair, hats, dresses, and coats with the flowers and leathery leaves and stalks of wild carrot plants. Fashions have changed, but to this day fashions can still be truly astonishing to behold. In 1607, European settlers arrived at Jamestown and introduced carrots to North America. Thomas Jefferson, the third President of the Unites States of America, grew a variety of different carrots in his gardens at Monticello. In 1814, he grew a bumper crop of 18 bushels of carrots. Carrots helped the British and their allies win World War 2. Newly-invented radar was being used to locate and shoot down German planes both during the day and in the darkness of night. To conceal the technical advancements they had made in radar equipment, the British started a rumor that they had improved the night vision capabilities of their pilots by having them eat large numbers of carrots. This wartime propaganda not only deceived the German military, but also led to more Brits planting vegetable gardens that included carrots. In 2002, the British supermarket chain Tesco published an advertisement in, “The Sun” publication announcing the successful development of a genetically modified ‘whistling carrot.’ The ad explained that the carrots had been specially engineered to grow with tapered air-holes in their side. When fully cooked, these air-holes caused the vegetable to whistle. The Brits are quite the kidders. Carrots Facts - The two types of carrots are cultivated and wild. - Cultivated carrots and wild carrots are different plants. - Carrots are scientifically named Daucus carota. - Cultivated carrots, also known as domestic carrots or garden carrots, are scientifically named ‘Daucus carota, sativus.’ - Wild carrots, also known as Queen Anne’s Lace, are scientifically named ‘Daucus carota, Carota.’ - Carrots are biennial herbs, or plants that live for 2 years. - Cultivated carrots have tall, fine green leaves and mellow, sweet fleshy roots. - Wild carrots have flowers that somewhat slightly resemble lace doilies, and roots with an acrid or bitter taste. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  Easy Cooked Carrots Recipe
Ingredients □ Carrots □ Water □ Butter or Cooking Oil □ Sugar □ Cinnamon □ Salt (Optional) Directions 1. Wash carrots and peel if desired. 2. Cut carrots into the length you want to serve. 3. Place carrots in cooking pot. 4. Add a small amount of water, slightly less than is necessary to cover the carrots. 5. Add butter or cooking oil, sugar, cinnamon, and salt if desired, to your taste preference. 6. Bring carrots to a simmer for about 4 to 5 minutes, stir, and then turn off heat and allow carrots to continue cooking and then to cool down in the cooking pot. 7. Serve as a main dish or side dish. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Carrots contain a variety of essential nutrients. Carrots have more beta-carotene than any other fruit or vegetable. The human body turns beta-carotene into vitamin A, which is vital for the good vision, including night vision, as well as healthy bones, teeth, and skin. Carrots are an excellent source of vitamins B and C, as well as calcium pectate, a pectin fiber that has cholesterol-lowering properties. “Large, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who lie in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.” -Fran Lebowitz Both wild carrots and cultivated carrots have been placed in the same plant species and scientifically named Daucus carota. ‘Daucus’ is derived from the Greek ‘dais’ meaning ‘to burn,’ for the wild carrot plant’s acrid or bitter taste. The word ‘carrot’ was first recorded in English in 1548 and was borrowed from Middle French carotte, itself from Late Latin carōta, from Greek karōton, originally from the Indo-European root *ker- (horn), due to its horn-like shape. The name Carota for the cultivated carrot is found first in the writings of Athenaeus (C.E. 200), and in a book on cookery by Apicius Czclius (C.E. 230). Galen (C.E. 350) added the name Daucus to distinguish carrots from parsnips, calling it D. pastinaca, and Daucus came to be the official name in the sixteenth century, and was later adopted by Linnaeus in the eighteenth century. Wild carrots are named ‘Daucus carota, Carota,’ and cultivated carrots are named ‘Daucus carota, sativus.’ Carrots Quiz - Orange carrots are recognized as having what nutrient? - Are the roots of carrots fruits or vegetables? - Are the green leaves of carrots safe to eat? - Are all carrot roots orange? Carrots Quiz Answers - Orange carrots are recognized as having the nutrient beta carotene, which is turned into Vitamin A in the human body. - The roots of carrots are vegetables, and are the most popular part of the plant. - The green leaves of carrots are safe to eat for humans, excepting a tiny number who might have a carrot allergy. - The roots of the most widely available carrots tend to be orange, but some carrots have roots in colors such as purple, red, black, yellow, or white. This is MFOL! . . . and so now you know you do not need fur, long ears, or hop-ability to benefit from carrots . . .  We’re Going to Make a Cake
We’re going to make a cake, We’re going to make a cake; We’re going to make it really big, Because we all like cake. Flour in the bowl, flour in the bowl; Stir it with a great big spoon, Flour in the bowl. (Continue with other ingredients: sugar, salt, raisins, butter, and so forth) Put it in the oven, put it in the oven; Take care not to slam the door, Until it’s nicely cooked. Icing on the top, icing on the top; Spread it with a big, flat knife, Icing on the top. We all have a piece, we all have a piece; Some for you and some for me, There’s some for everyone. And now it’s all gone, and now it’s all gone; Yumm it was very good, Now it’s all gone. by Author Unknown: can be sung to the same tune as that of, “The Farmer in the Dell”  Anita: What vegetable looks like a bunch of animals? Nikita: Zoo-chini! The variety of zucchini commonly grown in home gardens and sold commercially and in retail stores was cultivated by Italians from squash originally found in colonial America. Zucchinis, like all squash, originated in the Americas, meaning North and South America. “You’re becoming a real vegetable any more, do you know that?” Tim’s wife said to him one day, for no apparent reason. “Who, me?” Tim replied, trying to make light of the situation by saying it with a sort of zucchini accent. Zucchini also goes by the names Italian squash, courgette, vegetable marrow, long marrow, and garden marrow. The word ‘zucchini’ is derived from the Italian word ‘zucca’ meaning ‘squash.’ ‘Courgette’ is a diminutive of the French word ‘courge’ meaning ‘gourd’ or ‘marrow.’ Together with pumpkins and some other squashes, zucchinis are a member of the species ‘Cucurbita pepo.’ Zucchinis are a variety of cucurtbits, genus cucurbita, meaning that they are in the same family as cucumbers, squashes, and melons. The largest zucchini on record was 176.5 centimeters (69.5 inches) long, and weighed 29.5 kilograms (65 pounds). The humongous veggie was grown by Mr. Bernard Lavery of Plymouth, Devon, England.  Slice a zucchini in half lengthwise, and hollow out the halves with a spoon. Add the fillings of your choice, which can be as varied as chili and cheese, diced tomatoes and sliced Italian sausage and Provolone cheese, chopped vegetables and hollandaise sauce, or whatever your heart desires. Bake in an oven at about 180 degrees Celsius (350 degrees Fahrenheit) for about 45 minutes, or microwave on high, until done. Allow to cool and . . . presto! . . . voila! . . . you have created the stuffed zucchini. Some would say zucchini is a wonder food because of its fast growth, easy preparation, and low calorie content. A typical whole zucchini has about 25 calories; by comparison, a typical baked potato has about 130 calories. Zucchinis have more potassium than bananas have. Karen: What is zucchinis favorite game? Daren: Squash! Zucchini is pronounced as zoo kee nee. “If you’ve ever grown zucchini, you know they all ripen the same day. You wait all of June and July for zucchini. August rolls around, and one day - bam! You have more zucchini than you know what to do with. You start handing them out to your neighbors and friends at work because there’s no way any single person can handle all that zucchini. Not even if you’re smart and resourceful and have accumulated dozens of good recipes, not even a person who likes zucchini as much as I do.” -Gale Martin: “Grace Unexpected” (2012)  Zucchinis are commonly found in a dark green variety, though there is also a light green variety, a yellow variety, and a near-white variety of zucchini. The Zucchini Brothers, a band from Saratoga Springs, New York, United States of America, plays songs for children. They also have a cranberry bread recipe on their website . . . but alas, no zucchini bread recipe. To listen to their music, visit www.ZucchiniBrothers.com. Zucchinis are ready for harvest about 35 to 55 days after planting from seed. The three-day Annual Zucchini Fest in Obetz, Ohio, United States of America, is ‘everything zucchini.’ The event runs from 27 to 30 August of each year, and includes a parade, queen’s pageant, contests, arts and crafts, games, and much more. Information about the gala can be found at www.obetzzucchinifest.com. Zucchini is harvested as a summer squash. Summer squash are squashes that are harvested when immature, meaning while the rind (skin or peel) is still tender enough to be edible. Biggest is not best when it comes to zucchini; the most flavorful zucchinis are small to medium in size. A Christian couple heard that their vegetarian son would be coming home from college to spend the Thanksgiving Holiday with them. Said the man, “Let us prepare the fatted zucchini, Martha! Our prodigal son is returning.”  Zucchinis are botanically a fruit or a berry, because they come from flowers, but they are usually cooked and served as a vegetable. Grocery stores usually do not sell zucchini blooms, blossoms, or flowers, but sometimes they can be found at farmers’ markets. The bright yellows beauties aren’t just for looking at - they can be stir-fried and eaten. Overheard: A zucchini is a vegetable that can be baked, boiled, fried, or steamed before children refuse to eat it. Raw, uncooked zucchini can be sliced and put into salads, similar to the way cucumbers are sliced and put into salads. So, you have lots of fresh zucchinis, and you cook and prepare them, and they look great, but they have a bitter or sour taste. The next time, use smaller zucchinis that have been picked off the vine well before they are fully-grown and mature. As zucchinis grow larger, and as they age on the shelf at the market or in your refrigerator, they begin to ripen. The best zucchinis are ones that have not yet ripened and have not developed any bitter or sour taste. Much like cucumbers, you will want to eat zucchinis while they are small and well before they are full grown and ripened, preferably within a few days of their arrival in your kitchen.  Zoodles can be added to spaghetti recipes, and it can be used as a replacement for other types of pasta noodles as well. ‘Zoodles’ are easy to make with the aid of some kitchen gadgets. Using a mandolin or a spiral slicer, first secure the zucchini on prongs, and then push the vegetable toward the blades. A smaller and less expensive option is a julienne peeler, which has a serrated blade that can be used to create thin wide strips.
Zucchini Quiz - Zucchini is ready for harvest in how many days after planting from seeds? - Are zucchini blossoms, or flowers, edible? - What are zoodles made of? According to www.NationalDayCalendar.com, 8 August of each year is National Sneak Some Zucchini Into Your Neighbor’s Porch Day. Zucchini Quiz Answers - Zucchini is ready for harvest 35 to 55 days after planting from seeds. - Zucchini blossoms, or flowers, are edible, though usually stir-fried. - Zoodles are strips of zucchini that can be used in place of pasta. In parts of America, if you park your car in a suburban neighborhood in August, be sure to lock the doors, because if you fail to do so, the neighbors might fill your car with zucchini! Clear indications you have grown too much zucchini: - Your neighbors find them every afternoon in their mailboxes. - You are eating zucchini for breakfast, lunch, and dinner - and snacks too. - Even the field mice have stopped eating them. - A nightmare about an invading zucchini army awakens you in the night. - Your children are using them for building blocks. - You have carved a working piccolo out of a zucchini. This is MFOL! . . . where we plant smiles, grow fun, and harvest giggles . . . perhaps we should try that with zucchinis . . .  Here you will find silly fun stuff to say to people while they are eating pickles . . . Stacy: What is green, noisy, and moves very fast? Tracy: A herd of stampeding pickles! Look, there they go now! Brightly colored pickles, an idea that likely originated in the Mississippi Delta, are spreading throughout the land. You can find them in red, purple, orange . . . all the colors of your favorite powdered drink mix. Even children like them. Just make Kool-Aid or other powdered drink mix according to package directions, but make it double-strength. Add pickles that have been cut lengthwise, and then place them in a refrigerator for a week to allow for color absorption. Overheard: A pickle is, like, a really gnarly cucumber, dude! Some people say that the English word ‘pickle’ is derived from the Dutch word ‘pekel’ meaning ‘brine.’ Brine is a solution made of water and salt (commonly sodium chloride). Other people say the pickle got its name in the 1300’s when English speaking people mispronounced the name of William Beukelz, who was a Dutch fisherman known for pickling fish. Carrie: What is green, bumpy, and faster than a speeding bullet? Corey: Super Pickle! According to pickle industry standards, a pickle’s crunch should be audible from ten paces away. Ryan: What do you get if you cross a cucumber with a werewolf? Brian: A pickle that gets hairy when there is a full moon. The Italian financier, navigator, and cartographer Amerigo Vespucci, for whom the Americas (North and South) were named, was a pickle merchant before becoming an explorer. Because refrigeration did not exist back then, pickling was an important way of keeping food edible for long periods of time, and everything from fish to fruits was pickled in bottles and barrels. Nelson: What do you do with a pickle when it is one year old? Nellie: Wish it a happy birthday!  Who has a hankering for a gherkin? Whole Gherkins are great for snacking, or can be served alongside a sandwich. Any food can be pickled. Vegetables can be pickled, including peppers and beets, and there are pickled hard-boiled eggs, pickled fish such as herring, and pickled pig’s feet. However, the word ‘pickle’ used as a noun refers specifically to a pickled cucumber. Stout: What is long and green and grouchy? Slim: A sour pickle. According to pickle industry research, the average American prefers pickles with seven ‘warts’ per square inch, while Europeans prefer pickles with no ‘warts.’ Apparently, Americans like pickles that are easy to grip and Europeans like their pickles slippery. Paula: What is green and sour and always changing its mind? Polly: A fickle pickle. Twenty-six billion pickles are packed each year in the United States of America, which amounts to about nine pounds of pickles per person. So, who wants a pickle? Mr. Perkins A funny young fellow named Perkins Was terribly fond of small gherkins. One day after tea He ate ninety-three - And pickled his internal workings. by Author Unknown An average-size dill pickle contains just 15 calories. Al: What is long and green and jumps every few seconds? Bert: A pickle with the hiccups! Pickles are a fat-free food. Alex: What is green and sour and gives presents to boys and girls? Rex: Santa Pickle.  Sliced pickles are often found on hamburger sandwiches and other types of sandwiches. Are pickles a fruit or a vegetable? Actually, they are both, according to the United States Supreme Court. Because pickles have seeds, they are technically a ‘fruit of the vine.’ However, because pickles are made from cucumbers, they are generally known as a vegetable. Chase: What is a pickle in full bloom called? Grace: A daffy-dill. In order for a pickle to be considered officially a pickle in Connecticut, United States of America, it must bounce. Question: What is black and white and green and bumpy? Answer: A pickle wearing a tuxedo. ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ Peter Piper Peter Piper picked a peck Of pickled peppers; A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked. If Peter Piper picked a peck Of pickled peppers, Where’s the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked? by Author Unknown ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ ══════════════════════════════════════════════════ Varieties of cucumber pickles include Bread-and-Butter, Brined, Cornichon, Danish, Deep-Fried, Dill, Gherkin, Hungarian, Kosher Dill, Lime, Polish, and Swedish. Josiah: What is green and hairy and hangs out in New York? Joseph: King Kong Pickle. National Pickle Day, or Pickle Appreciation Day as some folks like to call it, is observed on 14 November of each year. Russell: What is green and pecks on trees? Randall: Woody Wood Pickle! Natives of the Pacific Islands pickle food in holes in the ground lined with banana leaves, in order to have a reliable reserve of food during the rainy season. The pickles are so valuable that they have become a part of the courting process, helping a man to prove that he will be able to provide for a woman. So, in Fiji, a guy cannot marry a gal without first showing her parents his stock of pickled food.  Pickle relish goes well atop a hotdog on a bun, or can be put in potato salad, tuna salad, or macaroni salad. “Hunger is the best pickle.” -Benjamin Franklin Mick: What is green and goes through walls? Mack: A pickle, but you have to throw it really hard! Henry John Heinz, founder of the H. J. Heinz Company, was a marketing and advertising pioneer. His company had the largest commercial exhibit at the 1893 Chicago World’s Fair, and in 1900 erected the first electric sign in New York City, a colossal forty foot long pickle. Claudia: What did one pickle say to the other? Claudette: “You mean a great dill to me.” The expression “in a pickle” originated with the English playwright William Shakespeare. He used it in his play, “The Tempest” (about 1611) in the two lines: “How cam’st thou in this pickle?” and “I have been in such a pickle!” Ricky: Why do gherkins giggle a lot? Mickey: They’re pickle-ish! Some people throw pickle juice away, but it can be poured through a sieve or cheesecloth and then served chilled as a beverage, just like lemonade.  Who wants a glass of pickle juice?! “You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person. Good people are hard to find nowadays. And they’re a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week.” -Stephen Manes  Bread-and-Butter Pickles can go on bread on which has been spread a generous amount of real butter. Thomas Jefferson: What is red, white, blue, and green? Benjamin Franklin: A patriotic pickle! More than half the cucumbers grown in the United States of America are made into pickles. So, what is growing in your garden?  George turned to his wife Martha and said, “Do we need these pickles? They are on sale, and they seem like a really good dill.”
Overheard: I love you more than pickles! This is MFOL! . . . well, that finishes things pickle-ish, and so now it is time for us to go out to get more sweet pickles, sour pickles, sliced pickles, pickle relish, and pickle juice . . . it seems we are running low on all of them . . .  Sunny yellow optimism cookies, or gloomy blue-gray pessimism cookies . . . if only all decisions in life were so easy to make! Six of each, please. Elvis: What kind of cookies do birds like? Priscilla: Chocolate-chirp cookies. “In the cookie of life, friends are the sweet chocolate chips.” -Author Unknown The American word ‘cookie’ comes from the Dutch word ‘koekjes,’ which came from the Dutch word ‘koek’ meaning ‘cake.’ ‘Cookie’ was introduced into the English language in the early eighteenth century. It is thought the term caught on in early America because of the evident Dutch presence. The British call cookies ‘small cakes,’ ‘sea biscuits,’ or ‘tea cakes.’ Victoria: Why was the little cookie sad? Flora: Because its mom had been a wafer so long. Tough cookie, noun: 1. Someone with just the right mixture of sweetness and strength. 2. Someone who does not crumble under pressure. Making Cookies I am making cookie dough Round and round the beaters go Add some flour from a cup Stir and stir the batter up Roll them, cut them nice and neat Put them on a cookie sheet Bake them, count them - one, two, three Serve them to my friends for tea*. by Author Unknown *’Tea’ is this instance refers not merely to the beverage, but to ‘teatime,’ the time traditionally set aside each day in many places for partaking in tea and sometimes edibles such as cookies. “I just figured if I was going to make the world a better place, I’d do it with cookies.” -Ana Pascal: “Stranger than Fiction” (10 November 2006); type of work: movie Cookies baked in a muffin tray will not spread out and stick together, and may be fluffier.  Let us all return to a kinder, gentler, simpler time . . . a time of milk and cookies! Overheard: I went to dunk my cookie in a glass of milk . . . and I fell right in! Good thing the cookie fell in with me . . . crunch, crunch . . . glug, glug . . . mmm-mmm, yummy! George: What kind of snack do little monkeys like with milk? Geoffrey: Chocolate-chimp cookies. Making Cookies Stir the dough and roll it flat Then cut cookies just like that Into the oven, watch them go They must bake a while, you know When they’re brown and nicely done We’ll have cookies for everyone! by Author Unknown  No-Bake Chocolate Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies like the ones shown above, just as the name suggests, need no baking. For the recipe, visit our activities page by clicking on the link here: http://www.makefunoflife.net/activities. Penny: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Penelope: Because it was feeling crumby. Cookie: A method for converting sugar, flour, and butter into body fat. ●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○● Chocolate Chip Cookies Recipe for Engineers and Scientists Ingredients □ 532.35 cm3 gluten □ 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3 □ 4.9 cm3 refined halite □ 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride □ 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11 □ 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11 □ 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde □ Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein units □ 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao □ 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10) Directions To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two, and three with constant agitation. In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous. To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction. Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piecemeal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston’s first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown. Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium before serving. by Steve Strunk ●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○● We are trying really hard to remember . . . what is it Moses, Noah, or Job who led the Canaanites to the land of milk and cookies? Common Cookies - Chocolate Chip Cookies - Fortune Cookies - Ginger Snaps - Oatmeal Raisin Cookies - Peanut Butter Cookies - Sandwich Cookies - Sugar Cookies - Vanilla Wafers Can you think of other types of cookies?  Image shown above is from “A Field Guide to Animal Crackers” by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) Animal Crackers are cookies that were imported to the United States of America from England in the late 1800’s. Barnum’s Circus-like boxes were designed with a string handle so that they could be hung on Christmas trees. ●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○● Animal Crackers Animal crackers, and cocoa to drink, That is the finest of suppers, I think; When I’m grown up and can have what I please I think I shall always insist upon these. What do you choose when you’re offered a treat? When Mother says, “What would you like best to eat?” Is it waffles and syrup, or cinnamon toast? It’s cocoa and animals that I love most! The kitchen’s the cosiest place that I know: The kettle is singing, the stove is aglow, And there in the twilight, how jolly to see The cocoa and animals waiting for me. by Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)): “Chimneysmoke” (1921) ●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○● National Animal Crackers Day is observed on 18 April of each year. If the folks at ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ made the “Sesame Street” television show . . . Scene: Bert and Ernie are seeing Oscar the Grouch for the first time, as Mr. Grouch suddenly pops up out of a garbage can, and Bert points at him. Bert: Hey, Ernie, is that a cookie over there? Ernie: Gee, I don’t know, Bert. Let’s dunk it in a glass of milk and find out! Just then, Cookie Monster appears and says: Cookie?! Oscar the Grouch makes a surprised shriek and disappears back into the garbage can. Bert, Ernie, and Cookie Monster all laugh. Cut to next scene: The actual producers of “Sesame Street” are shown taking out a restraining order against the folks at ‘Make Fun Of Life!’  This is MFOL! . . . the search for funny continues . . . along with milk and cookies . . .
 Bobbing for Apples
I am bobbing for an apple, A shiny red apple, I am bobbing for an apple, But no apple can I get. I cannot get an apple, Not one single apple My sister got an apple, But all I got was wet! by Author Unknown  Mama mia, dat’s-a lots-a pasta! “Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.” -Sophia Loren (pseudonym of Sophia Sciccoloni (born 1934)) Pasta is a food originating in Italy, consisting of dough made from durum wheat and water, and sometimes eggs, extruded or stamped into various shapes and sizes. Pasta is cooked by boiling it in water, either in its freshly made state, or it can be dried for storage and later cooked from its dried state. Oodles of Noodles I love noodles. Give me oodles. Make a mound up to the Sun. Noodles are my favorite foodles. I eat noodles by the ton. by Lucia and James Hymes, Junior When pasta is boiled in water, it is important to know that once the pot has been removed from the heat source, the hot water continues to cook the pasta, and even once pasta is separated from the hot water, it continues cooking. So, to achieve just the precise amount of cooking to have perfectly done pasta that is not too soft or too hard, referred to in Italian as ‘al dente,’ immerse the pasta in cold water at precisely the perfect time to stop the cooking process. “Fettuccini Alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.” -Mitch Hedberg (Mitchell Lee ‘Mitch’ Hedberg (1968 - 2005)) Marinara sauce is a red sauce typically made from tomatoes, onions, and herbs. ‘Marinara’ is derived from the Italian phrase ‘alla marinara’ meaning ‘sailor-style.’ It commonly goes by the name ‘spaghetti sauce’ or ‘pasta sauce,’ although it is worth noting that not all pasta sauces are red sauces, especially those that contain no tomatoes as a main ingredient. “No man is lonely while eating spaghetti - it requires too much attention.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)): as quoted in “Life” (24 October 1969) magazine Doyle: A farmer bought a piece of land at auction. It was two thousand acres long and one inch wide. What did he grow on it? Dylan: I know - spaghetti! Macaroni and Cheese Boil the water, add the noodles, Mac and cheese, we love you oodles. In gratefulness for this creation, We bow and eat with such elation. by Author Unknown Customer: “Do you have spaghetti on the menu today?” Waiter: “No, sir, I cleaned it off.”  Here we see the annual spaghetti harvest . . . The spaghetti tree hoax is a famous 3-minute hoax report broadcast on April Fool’s Day 1957 by the British Broadcasting Corporation current affairs program “Panorama.” It told a tale of a family in southern Switzerland harvesting spaghetti from the fictitious spaghetti tree. The story was broadcast at a time when the Italian dish was not widely eaten in the United Kingdom and some Britons were still unaware that spaghetti is a pasta made from wheat flour and water. Hundreds of viewers phoned the BBC, either to say the story was not true, or wondering about it, with some even asking how to grow their own spaghetti trees. “Panorama” cameraman Charles de Jaeger dreamed up the story after remembering how teachers at his school in Austria teased his classmates for being so stupid that if they were told that spaghetti grew on trees, they would believe it. The report showed a family in the canton of Ticino in southern Switzerland as they gathered a bumper spaghetti harvest after a mild Winter and “virtual disappearance of the spaghetti weevil.” Footage of a traditional “Harvest Festival” was aired along with a discussion of the cultivation necessary to develop a plant variety that produces the perfect length of pasta. Some scenes were filmed at the (now closed) Pasta Foods factory on London Road, Saint Albans, in Hertfordshire, and at a hotel in Castagnola, Switzerland. The report was made more believable through the voiceover of respected broadcaster Richard Dimbleby. Pasta was not an everyday food in 1950’s Britain, and was known mainly from tinned spaghetti in tomato sauce, and considered by many to be an exotic delicacy. At the time, there were 7 million homes in Britain with television sets, out of a total of 15.8 million homes. An estimated 8 million people watched the program on and hundreds phoned in the following day to question the authenticity of the story or ask for more information about spaghetti cultivation and how they could grow their own spaghetti trees. The BBC reportedly told them to “place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best.” If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry? “I do love Italian food. Any kind of pasta or pizza.” -Jennifer Love Hewitt  “Life is a combination of magic and pasta.” -Federico Fellini Weird Al Yankovic did a parody of the song “La Bamba” entitled “Lasagna” on his “Even Worse” album. Lasagna was called ‘losyns’ in Middle English. In 1996, computer hardware engineer Toshio Yamamoto began the work of tasting and cataloguing all the ramen instant noodles he could find (including a full ingredients list, texture, flavor, price, and a ‘star’ rating for each) for the 5,657-ramen database on his website, expanded recently with hundreds of video reviews and with re-reviews (in case the taste had changed). Mr. Yamamoto said he had always eaten ramen for breakfast seven days a week, but cut back recently to five. “I feared that, if I continued at (the seven-day) pace, I would get bored.” He has written two books on the flavored instant noodles. Visit Mr. Yamamoto’s website at www.i-ramen.net to see his extensive noodle work and nifty animation.  So there I was, minding my own business as usual, when all of a sudden, I encountered a pasta disasta!
“There is linguini, elbows, angel hair, spirals, bowties, . . . so many pasta shapes and sizes . . . just image all the pasta-bilities!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) Lorenzo: What do you call a fake noodle? Luciano: An impasta. “The Forme of Cury,” a 14th century cookbook that was the first to be published in England, featured lasagna. “I wouldn’t exactly call it ‘cooking’ but I can make noodles. That means I can boil water, put the pasta in and wait until it’s done.” -Devon Werkheiser As the song says, “On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball, when somebody sneezed!” Lasagna is the favorite food of the cartoon cat character Garfield, created by Jim Davis. Interestingly, it is said that Mr. Davis never had a pet cat, but despite this handicap, he somehow manages. “Eat the spaghetti to forgetti your regretti.” -Author Unknown “Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it.” -Author Unknown Lasagna is believed to have originated in Italy. It is a dish made of alternating layers of pasta, cheese, sauce, and traditionally meat, although vegetables can be substituted for the meat. Lasagna is made with either flat noodles or rippled noodles. Rippled noodles are common in southern Italy but rarely used in Northern Italy. Rippled noodles are also popular in the United States. The plural of lasagna is lasagne. In Italy, the plural form lasagne is always used when referring to lasagna. “I love pasta with the homemade marinara sauce I had as a kid.” -Bernadette Peters “I don’t know, man . . . I just started eating pasta and I was like, ‘Wow, my problems . . . where did they all just go?’” -Author Unknown “Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.” -Sophia Loren (pseudonym of Sophia Sciccoloni (born 1934)) You are on MFOL! - quick, say something funny about pasta!  Mashed Potatoes
Mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes, Mashed potatoes piled up high, Mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes, Mashed potatoes up to the sky. Mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes, Mashed potato clouds and moon, Mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes, Scoop it all up with a giant spoon! by Author Unknown  Peanut Butter Sandwich
In the pantry in our kitchen There is food on every shelf. There’s a snack that I enjoy And I can get it by myself. When I am feeling hungry And I need to fill my belly, I find the peanut butter, Get some bread and lots of jelly. Then I make a tasty sandwich, And I gobble every bite. A peanut butter sandwich Is simply a delight. You can eat your cold Bologna Or enjoy some ham and cheese. But for me, when I am hungry I say, “Peanut butter, please!” by Author Unknown  Fun Easy Foods Quiz for 2 February 2019
Can you name the quintessential British dish shown above? Fish and Chips, or Fish ‘n’ Chips, consists of battered and fried fish accompanied by sliced and fried potatoes. It can include a dipping sauce and a side of a vegetable, such as cabbage made into coleslaw. Fish-and-chips became popular in England sometime in the 1860’s or possibly earlier, and continues to this day as a popular food in formal restaurants and as a takeaway or carryout food for busy people on the go. This is MFOL! . . . where food can be fun . . . and fun can be food!  Apple Snacking Time
It’s time for an apple - We have a variety on hand, Golden yellow, gorgeous green, deep red, Lighter red with a touch of yellow, Paler green fading to almost white - Name your apple, what’s your delight? Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch! Once there were five apples, crisp and delicious, And now all of the apples are gone from sight! by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)  Fun Easy Foods Quiz for 30 January 2019
Can you name the foods shown above? Clockwise from top left, the foods shown are as follows. - red onion, whole. - tomato, quartered, or sliced into 4 pieces. - parsley, fresh and green. - peppercorns, whole, which can be ground into pepper seasoning. - cucumber, sliced lengthwise. If the vegetables were sliced thinner, and the pepper was ground, could they be mixed together to make a salad?  Apples
Apples, apples, what a treat, Sweet and tart and good to eat. Apples green and apples red, Hang from branches overhead, And when they ripen, Down they drop, So we can taste our apple crop. by Helen H. Moore  Ice Cream Colors
We have ice cream, the best in town, Let us begin with chocolate brown. Now, let us scoop us some bubble-gum pink, It is sweet and yummy, the best, some think. Here is ice cream minty and green, It is the creamiest I have ever seen. Yellow ice cream is lemony and tart, We like its taste from the very start. Scoops of blueberry would make my day, Look at all this ice cream, hip, hip hurray! Red ice cream is a strawberry delight, All these scoops are a heavenly sight. Vanilla white is a popular flavor, It tastes very good to an ice-cream craver. Purple ice cream really gives me a kick, Good and yummy till the very last lick. Ice cream, ice cream, what a cool sensation, We love ice cream in any combination! by Author Unknown  Oranges Are a Juicy Fruit
Oranges are a juicy fruit Many are big, Satsumas are cute. You get orange juice with some squeezin’ and cuttin’ One even comes with a bellybutton. They grow on a tree in the winter season In parts of the world where it isn’t freezin’. So when you need a healthy treat Peel yourself an orange - sweet to eat! by Author Unknown |
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