Overheard: My hobbies include eating and complaining that I am getting fat.
“If we could give every individual the right amount of nourishment and exercise, not too little and not too much, we would have found the safest way to health.” -Hippocrates (about 460 B.C.E. - 377 B.C.E.)
Overheard: I am in shape . . . round is a shape . . . isn’t it?
“Every living cell in your body is made from the food you eat. If you consistently eat junk food then you’ll have a junk body.” -Jeanette Jenkins
“I’m trying to lose some weight so I’ve gone on a garlic diet. You eat garlic with everything. It doesn’t make you lose any weight but people stand further back and you look thinner at a distance.” -Noel Britto
“We tolerate shapes in human beings that would horrify us if we saw them in a horse.” -William R. Inge (William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954))
“One of life’s mysteries is how a two-pound box of chocolates can make a person gain five pounds.” -Author Unknown
“Never eat more than you can lift.” -Miss Piggy (Kermit the Frog’s beloved in the “Muppet Show” television series and in the Muppet movies)
“As you know, there are more diet books than dieters, among them the Atkins diet, the Stillman diet, the Scarsdale diet, the Zone diet, the grapefruit diet, . . . the Beverly Hills diet, the Akron, Ohio diet, the Mayo Clinic diet, the Hold the Mayo diet . . .” -Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner: “The 2,000 Year Old Man in the Year 2000: The Book” (1997)
“The diets people should be on are not the diets that last a few days or months, and designed mainly for rapid weight loss. The diets people should be on are the long-term diets, designed for years or a lifetime. That means their diets need to be nutritionally sound, evolving, and something they can live with, whether they are work-at-home people or on-the-go people.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.” -Jackie Gleason
“If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner.” -H. S. Leigh
“My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.” -Orson Welles (1915 - 1985)
“Cut out those intimate little dinners for two - unless there’s someone with you.” -Joey Adams (born Joseph Abramowitz (1911 - 1999))
Smaller portion sizes are one of the steps that could help you meet your weight loss and weight maintenance goals . . . along with not eating pizza and cheeseburgers.
“He who stuffeth, puffeth.” -Author Unknown
Weight scale: A type of amusement park ride for grownups.
Many of us are fat or overweight in part because sugar is in nearly everything we eat. Sugar is put where it does not belong: in pasta sauce, peanut butter, ketchup, canned peas, salad dressing, and even coated on frozen mixed vegetables. Some restaurants sugarcoat their potato fries and other foods so that they will turn a golden-brown color when cooked in a deep fryer. The guilty parties will not even tell you they are doing this. What can we do? Contact the food makers and restaurants and tell them to stop it at once!
How about this as a label: Warning - This food product contains added sugar or other sweeteners or artificial sweeteners, which can contribute to obesity, diabetes, tooth loss, heart failure, the blahs, and other chronic and severe disorders.
Never eat foods containing artificial sweeteners, because they will stoke your desire for actual sweets such as sugars and starches. Once your desire for sweet has been stoked, it is an extremely difficult and lengthy process to turn it off - it is just a built-in part of human nature.
“If we could give every individual the right amount of nourishment and exercise, not too little and not too much, we would have found the safest way to health.” -Hippocrates (about 460 B.C.E. - 377 B.C.E.)
Overheard: I am in shape . . . round is a shape . . . isn’t it?
“Every living cell in your body is made from the food you eat. If you consistently eat junk food then you’ll have a junk body.” -Jeanette Jenkins
“I’m trying to lose some weight so I’ve gone on a garlic diet. You eat garlic with everything. It doesn’t make you lose any weight but people stand further back and you look thinner at a distance.” -Noel Britto
“We tolerate shapes in human beings that would horrify us if we saw them in a horse.” -William R. Inge (William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954))
“One of life’s mysteries is how a two-pound box of chocolates can make a person gain five pounds.” -Author Unknown
“Never eat more than you can lift.” -Miss Piggy (Kermit the Frog’s beloved in the “Muppet Show” television series and in the Muppet movies)
“As you know, there are more diet books than dieters, among them the Atkins diet, the Stillman diet, the Scarsdale diet, the Zone diet, the grapefruit diet, . . . the Beverly Hills diet, the Akron, Ohio diet, the Mayo Clinic diet, the Hold the Mayo diet . . .” -Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner: “The 2,000 Year Old Man in the Year 2000: The Book” (1997)
“The diets people should be on are not the diets that last a few days or months, and designed mainly for rapid weight loss. The diets people should be on are the long-term diets, designed for years or a lifetime. That means their diets need to be nutritionally sound, evolving, and something they can live with, whether they are work-at-home people or on-the-go people.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.” -Jackie Gleason
“If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner.” -H. S. Leigh
“My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.” -Orson Welles (1915 - 1985)
“Cut out those intimate little dinners for two - unless there’s someone with you.” -Joey Adams (born Joseph Abramowitz (1911 - 1999))
Smaller portion sizes are one of the steps that could help you meet your weight loss and weight maintenance goals . . . along with not eating pizza and cheeseburgers.
“He who stuffeth, puffeth.” -Author Unknown
Weight scale: A type of amusement park ride for grownups.
Many of us are fat or overweight in part because sugar is in nearly everything we eat. Sugar is put where it does not belong: in pasta sauce, peanut butter, ketchup, canned peas, salad dressing, and even coated on frozen mixed vegetables. Some restaurants sugarcoat their potato fries and other foods so that they will turn a golden-brown color when cooked in a deep fryer. The guilty parties will not even tell you they are doing this. What can we do? Contact the food makers and restaurants and tell them to stop it at once!
How about this as a label: Warning - This food product contains added sugar or other sweeteners or artificial sweeteners, which can contribute to obesity, diabetes, tooth loss, heart failure, the blahs, and other chronic and severe disorders.
Never eat foods containing artificial sweeteners, because they will stoke your desire for actual sweets such as sugars and starches. Once your desire for sweet has been stoked, it is an extremely difficult and lengthy process to turn it off - it is just a built-in part of human nature.
There was an Old Person of Dean,
Who dined on one pea, and one bean;
For he said, ‘More than that,
Would make me too fat,’
That cautious Old Person of Dean.
by Edward Lear (1812 - 1888)
Diet: A penalty for exceeding the feed limit.
“Dieting is the only game where you win when you lose!” -Karl Lagerfeld (Karl Otto Lagerfeld (born 1933))
Weight Loss and Weight Maintenance Facts
- A reduction of 500 calories a day will result in the loss of 0.45 kilograms (1 pound) of weight a week.
- People are advised to seek competent in-person advice from a medical professional or other appropriate counselor before beginning any change in diet that could affect their health and overall well-being.
- What weight loss and weight maintenance facts can you add here?
Overheard: I am on a low fat, high stress diet, consisting of coffee and fingernails.
“Many diet and meal plans creators claim you can lose weight if you eat their food, but the thing is, you lose weight by eating less.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“If you want to look thin, hang out with fat people.” -Rodney Dangerfield (born Jacob Cohen, known by the legal name Jack Roy (1921 - 2004))
A doctor in Berkeley, California, is making a name for himself through his success in reducing overweight people. Asked his secret, he replied, “I get a head start on a case, that’s all. On the patient’s first call, I spend only a few minutes with her, just long enough to weigh her and instruct her to keep a complete written record of every bite she eats during the two weeks until her second appointment. And,” he smiled, “by the end of those two weeks most patients have already lost about ten pounds!”
Overheard: If you call me fat one more time, I will eat you!
“Imprisoned in every fat man a thin one is wildly signaling to be let out.” -Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974)
An important, though often overlooked component of any weight loss plan is love. Too much or too little love can actually cause weight gain and physical inactivity.
Betty: You know, if you eat really slowly, you won’t gain weight.
Beatrice: I never heard that.
Betty: Sure, because ‘haste makes waist.’
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))
Calorie: A type of tiny creature that lives in your closet and sews your clothes a little bit tighter every night.
“In general, mankind, since the improvement of cookery, eats twice as much as nature requires.” -Benjamin Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790))
“You know it is time to get serious about diet and exercise when your driver’s license reads, ‘Picture continues on other side.’” -Author Unknown
“Has it ever struck you that there’s a thin man inside every fat man, just as they say there’s a statue in every block of stone.” -George Orwell (pseudonym of Eric Arthur Blair (1903 - 1950)): “Coming Up for Air” (1939), part I, chapter 3
“All things being equal, fat people use more soap.” -Author Unknown
“I stepped on one of those talking scales the other day, and it said, ‘One at a time, please!’” -Author Unknown
“The one way to get thin is to re-establish a purpose in life.” -Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974)
A wise person once said, “Person who eats sweets, takes up two seats!”
A Young Man Named Drew
There was a young man named Drew
Who weighed in at three-thirty-two
He was in love with a skater
And he wanted to date her,
But in breaking the ice, he fell through.
by Author Unknown
“Eat well, feel swell.” -Author Unknown
“My brain knows it’s just a diet, but my body thinks it’s a famine.” -Author Unknown
Please complete the following questionnaire to let us know what kind of physical shape you are in.
- Can you touch your toes? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- Would you recognize your toes if we showed you a photo? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- Do you remember what toes are? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- When climbing stairs, do you gasp for air? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- When climbing stairs, do you attempt to hitch a ride? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- Did you know that there is such a thing as stairs? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- Are you bigger than a bread box? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- Are you bigger than a refrigerator? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- Are you bigger than a truck? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- In the unlikely event of a water landing, could you be used as a flotation device? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- Do you wish this questionnaire was over so you could lie on the couch, eat a piece of cake, and watch television? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- Are you answering this questionnaire while eating cake on the couch, watching television, and making faces at the cat? [ ] Yes [ ] No
“Eat whatever you want, and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them, too!” -Author Unknown
“Don’t window shop at the bakery.” -Carol Weston (born 1956), website http://www.carolweston.com/
“I highly recommend worrying. It is much more effective than dieting.” -William Powell
When watching your weight, a helpful phrase to remember is, “No, thanks, too rich for me!”
“No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat.” -Covert Bailey
Caution: Dieting Is Not A Piece Of Cake.
Who dined on one pea, and one bean;
For he said, ‘More than that,
Would make me too fat,’
That cautious Old Person of Dean.
by Edward Lear (1812 - 1888)
Diet: A penalty for exceeding the feed limit.
“Dieting is the only game where you win when you lose!” -Karl Lagerfeld (Karl Otto Lagerfeld (born 1933))
Weight Loss and Weight Maintenance Facts
- A reduction of 500 calories a day will result in the loss of 0.45 kilograms (1 pound) of weight a week.
- People are advised to seek competent in-person advice from a medical professional or other appropriate counselor before beginning any change in diet that could affect their health and overall well-being.
- What weight loss and weight maintenance facts can you add here?
Overheard: I am on a low fat, high stress diet, consisting of coffee and fingernails.
“Many diet and meal plans creators claim you can lose weight if you eat their food, but the thing is, you lose weight by eating less.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“If you want to look thin, hang out with fat people.” -Rodney Dangerfield (born Jacob Cohen, known by the legal name Jack Roy (1921 - 2004))
A doctor in Berkeley, California, is making a name for himself through his success in reducing overweight people. Asked his secret, he replied, “I get a head start on a case, that’s all. On the patient’s first call, I spend only a few minutes with her, just long enough to weigh her and instruct her to keep a complete written record of every bite she eats during the two weeks until her second appointment. And,” he smiled, “by the end of those two weeks most patients have already lost about ten pounds!”
Overheard: If you call me fat one more time, I will eat you!
“Imprisoned in every fat man a thin one is wildly signaling to be let out.” -Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974)
An important, though often overlooked component of any weight loss plan is love. Too much or too little love can actually cause weight gain and physical inactivity.
Betty: You know, if you eat really slowly, you won’t gain weight.
Beatrice: I never heard that.
Betty: Sure, because ‘haste makes waist.’
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))
Calorie: A type of tiny creature that lives in your closet and sews your clothes a little bit tighter every night.
“In general, mankind, since the improvement of cookery, eats twice as much as nature requires.” -Benjamin Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790))
“You know it is time to get serious about diet and exercise when your driver’s license reads, ‘Picture continues on other side.’” -Author Unknown
“Has it ever struck you that there’s a thin man inside every fat man, just as they say there’s a statue in every block of stone.” -George Orwell (pseudonym of Eric Arthur Blair (1903 - 1950)): “Coming Up for Air” (1939), part I, chapter 3
“All things being equal, fat people use more soap.” -Author Unknown
“I stepped on one of those talking scales the other day, and it said, ‘One at a time, please!’” -Author Unknown
“The one way to get thin is to re-establish a purpose in life.” -Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974)
A wise person once said, “Person who eats sweets, takes up two seats!”
A Young Man Named Drew
There was a young man named Drew
Who weighed in at three-thirty-two
He was in love with a skater
And he wanted to date her,
But in breaking the ice, he fell through.
by Author Unknown
“Eat well, feel swell.” -Author Unknown
“My brain knows it’s just a diet, but my body thinks it’s a famine.” -Author Unknown
Please complete the following questionnaire to let us know what kind of physical shape you are in.
- Can you touch your toes? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- Would you recognize your toes if we showed you a photo? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- Do you remember what toes are? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- When climbing stairs, do you gasp for air? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- When climbing stairs, do you attempt to hitch a ride? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- Did you know that there is such a thing as stairs? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- Are you bigger than a bread box? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- Are you bigger than a refrigerator? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- Are you bigger than a truck? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- In the unlikely event of a water landing, could you be used as a flotation device? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- Do you wish this questionnaire was over so you could lie on the couch, eat a piece of cake, and watch television? [ ] Yes [ ] No
- Are you answering this questionnaire while eating cake on the couch, watching television, and making faces at the cat? [ ] Yes [ ] No
“Eat whatever you want, and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them, too!” -Author Unknown
“Don’t window shop at the bakery.” -Carol Weston (born 1956), website http://www.carolweston.com/
“I highly recommend worrying. It is much more effective than dieting.” -William Powell
When watching your weight, a helpful phrase to remember is, “No, thanks, too rich for me!”
“No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat.” -Covert Bailey
Caution: Dieting Is Not A Piece Of Cake.
Good food that is good for you . . . when in the right amount.
“I don’t drink milk, and I don’t eat bread, pasta, or rice. But I do eat a lot of meat, chicken, fish, and salads.” -Mikhail Baryshnikov (Mikhail Nikolayevich Baryshnikov (born 1948))
“Being fat is like having your most humiliating ‘secret’ visible for the world to see and judge.” -Author Unknown
“Tame your taste, or if you cannot, then avoid foods and drinks that have flavors that make you crave them.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
A Girl Named Maureen
There once was a girl named Maureen
Who wished she were skinny and lean;
But she loved pizza pie,
Pastrami on rye,
And ate till her plate was clean.
by Author Unknown
“As for ‘serving sizes,’ there are no agreed upon standards and no one really knows what they should be, so compare foods on a calories per ounce basis or other uniform unit of measurement.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.” -Jim Davis
“Fearing that there might not be anything to eat the following day, he immediately went about eating everything in sight, thus fulfilling his fear.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
Methuselah’s Diet
Methuselah ate what he found on his plate,
And never, as people do now,
Did he note the amount of the calorie count.
He ate it because it was chow.
He wasn’t disturbed as at dinner he sat,
Devouring a roast or a pie,
To think it was lacking in granular fat
Or a couple of vitamins shy.
He cheerfully chewed each species of food,
Unmindful of troubles or fears
Lest his health might be hurt by some fancy dessert,
And he lived over 900 years.
by Author Unknown
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
The best diet advice is: “No thyself.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)
Overheard: I’m not fat - I’m just easy to see.
“Dieting is just a matter of following the path of feast resistance.” -Bob Thaves and Tom Thaves: “Frank and Ernest” (4 April 2006) cartoon, website www.FrankAndErnest.com.
“I am prescribing these diet pills for you,” said the doctor to the overweight patient. “I do not want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and bend down to pick them up, one at a time . . .”
“Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper.” -Adelle Davis (1904 - 1974): “Let’s Eat Right to Keep Fit” (1970)
“The first law of dietetics seems to be: if it tastes good, it’s bad for you.” -Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992): as attributed in Elizabeth Knowles, editor: “The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations” (1999)
“I followed the same diet for twenty years, eliminating starches, living on salads, lean meat, and small portions.” -Gene Tierney (Gene Eliza Tierney (1920 - 1991))
The Weight Loss Support Group will meet at 7:00 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
Overheard: I am so fat that I have to make two trips to get to the refrigerator!
“One should eat to live, not live to eat.” -Cicero (Marcus Tullius Cicero, also known as Tully (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)): “Rhetoricorum LV”
“The only way you get that fat off is to eat less and exercise more.” -Jack LaLanne (Francois Henri ‘Jack’ LaLanne (1914 - 2011)), website www.JackLalanne.com.
MFOL! . . . because in this world, we all could stand to learn something and we all need a good laugh . . .
“I don’t drink milk, and I don’t eat bread, pasta, or rice. But I do eat a lot of meat, chicken, fish, and salads.” -Mikhail Baryshnikov (Mikhail Nikolayevich Baryshnikov (born 1948))
“Being fat is like having your most humiliating ‘secret’ visible for the world to see and judge.” -Author Unknown
“Tame your taste, or if you cannot, then avoid foods and drinks that have flavors that make you crave them.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
A Girl Named Maureen
There once was a girl named Maureen
Who wished she were skinny and lean;
But she loved pizza pie,
Pastrami on rye,
And ate till her plate was clean.
by Author Unknown
“As for ‘serving sizes,’ there are no agreed upon standards and no one really knows what they should be, so compare foods on a calories per ounce basis or other uniform unit of measurement.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.” -Jim Davis
“Fearing that there might not be anything to eat the following day, he immediately went about eating everything in sight, thus fulfilling his fear.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
Methuselah’s Diet
Methuselah ate what he found on his plate,
And never, as people do now,
Did he note the amount of the calorie count.
He ate it because it was chow.
He wasn’t disturbed as at dinner he sat,
Devouring a roast or a pie,
To think it was lacking in granular fat
Or a couple of vitamins shy.
He cheerfully chewed each species of food,
Unmindful of troubles or fears
Lest his health might be hurt by some fancy dessert,
And he lived over 900 years.
by Author Unknown
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
The best diet advice is: “No thyself.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)
Overheard: I’m not fat - I’m just easy to see.
“Dieting is just a matter of following the path of feast resistance.” -Bob Thaves and Tom Thaves: “Frank and Ernest” (4 April 2006) cartoon, website www.FrankAndErnest.com.
“I am prescribing these diet pills for you,” said the doctor to the overweight patient. “I do not want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and bend down to pick them up, one at a time . . .”
“Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper.” -Adelle Davis (1904 - 1974): “Let’s Eat Right to Keep Fit” (1970)
“The first law of dietetics seems to be: if it tastes good, it’s bad for you.” -Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992): as attributed in Elizabeth Knowles, editor: “The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations” (1999)
“I followed the same diet for twenty years, eliminating starches, living on salads, lean meat, and small portions.” -Gene Tierney (Gene Eliza Tierney (1920 - 1991))
The Weight Loss Support Group will meet at 7:00 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
Overheard: I am so fat that I have to make two trips to get to the refrigerator!
“One should eat to live, not live to eat.” -Cicero (Marcus Tullius Cicero, also known as Tully (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)): “Rhetoricorum LV”
“The only way you get that fat off is to eat less and exercise more.” -Jack LaLanne (Francois Henri ‘Jack’ LaLanne (1914 - 2011)), website www.JackLalanne.com.
MFOL! . . . because in this world, we all could stand to learn something and we all need a good laugh . . .
