Make Fun Of Life!

This Woman Is Seeing Something

5/18/2022

Elderly woman with a concerned expression, and wearing a colorful red and yellow wide-brim straw hat and eyeglasses.

This woman is seeing what is on www.MakeFunOfLife.net and is very concerned . . . perhaps you will be too . . .

If you came here looking for fun, you are in the right place. Just travel down this page, skipping the ridiculous articles, until you come to the ones that appeal to you. When you have a moment, be sure to visit some of the more than 70 other pages on the website, such as the World Pages and the Life Pages, which can be explored by clicking or tapping on the drop-down menu near the top of this page or further down this page in the right-hand column as blinking images.

We are MFOL! . . . what is happening here . . .

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Pirates

5/17/2022

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Picture of a pirate on a ship holding a musket in one hand and holding his other hand up over his eyes to shield them from the sun as he tries to look at something.

When considering career options, do not overlook the possibility of becoming a pirate. To learn more about this potentially lucrative field of work and to find out if a pirate’s life might be right for you, simply continue reading . . .

Rich: What are pirates afraid of?
Rick: The darrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk!

Serendipity: What kind of socks does a pirate wear?
Felicity: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgyle!

Agatha: What does a fancy pirate add to his dinner?
Agnes: A garrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnish!

Pirates: No-good people who most assuredly arrive at a no-good end.

Real-life pirates are murderous, thieving, low-life criminal scum who steal ships and have historically met their end on the hangman’s noose, and in more recent times have been sent to filthy, overcrowded, rat-infested prisons for the remainder of their miserable days, but we will have some fun at their expense nonetheless.

Morris: Where do pirates keep their cookies?
Morton: In cookie jarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs!

Amelia: How much did the pirate pay for his peg-leg and hook-hand?
Emily: An arm and a leg!

William the Crook

A pirate named William the Crook,
Serves his crew with his gigantic hook,
“I impale some marshmallows,
Toast them up for the fellows,
Make some cocoa, and read them a book.”

by Author Unknown

Bucky: How do pirates know that they are pirates?
Skippy: They think, therefore they arrr.

Picture of a rustic wooden chest with three locks and carrying handles on its ends.

Forget about the treasure chests shown in pretend pirate movies - the one shown above is how a real treasure chest would have looked. What, is it not glamorous enough for the likes of you? Aaarrr, well, suit yourself. If by chance you want to see what an authentic pirate chest would have held inside, continue reading and you will soon come to a picture of real pirate loot, shown further below.

Clark: Why can you not take a picture of a pirate with a wooden leg?
Kent: Because a wooden leg does not take pictures!

Tucker: What goes, “99-thump, 99-thump?”
Tyler: A pirate centipede with a wooden leg.

Most people only ever see fancy ‘made for the movies’ pirates. What could you expect to see from a real pirate? A real pirate would be wearing filthy rags and have the dreaded scurvy, and because we would not want to disgust you by showing you such a person, we won’t! Now let’s all make pirate noises. Rrr! Arrr! Rrr-rrr-rrr!

Annette: Where do pirates park their ships?
Nettie: In the harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrbor!

Merrill: What is a pirate’s second favorite type of transportation?
Marla: A carrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Scurvy is a preventable health condition caused by going too long without eating foods containing vitamin C, as some seafarers such as pirates do. The symptoms are too horrible to describe here, so just be sure to eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables so that you do not become a scurvy pirate!

Byron: What “Star Wars” character is really a pirate?
Myron: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-2-D-2!

Helga: What is a pirate’s favorite doll?
Hilda: Barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrbie!

A pirate ship came ashore for a night at a mysterious island between Arabia and India. The first mate ended up in an eatery sitting at a table with an oil lamp on it. The lamp was dirty, so he rubbed it clean, and a genie came out, promising to grant him any three wishes he wanted. Immediately he wished for a huge mug of cold apple cider that would never run dry. “Granted,” said the genie. Excitedly the pirate downed the entire mug, and as promised, it magically refilled itself. He emptied it again, and it again magically refilled, just as he had wished. “This is great!” he said. “And what about your second and third wishes?” asked the genie. The pirate, still delighted about his magic mug, quickly replied, “I’ll have two more just like this!”

Picture of a pile of old worn-down gold and silver coins.

This pirate treasure may not be much to look at, but to a real pirate, it is the stuff of dreams. Up until quite recent times, coins were basically lumps of metal such as silver, copper, gold, or alloys (combinations of different metals melted together) that had been hammered flat or made by clumsily pouring molten metal into rough molds. Old coins from the time of pirates and sailing ships often were not perfectly round, not very shiny, and were well-worn-down, but were nonetheless valuable.

Jeffrey: What did the pirate ship captain keep in his musical treasure chest?
Geoffrey: The lute!

Pirate from Nertskinski

A pirate who hailed from Nertskinski
Became so exceedingly thinski
That while cleaning his gun,
When the day’s fight was done,
He looked down the bore and fell inski.

by Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898))

Pearl: How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced for earrings?
Cora: A buccaneer!

Cassandra: Where do pirates get their hair cut?
Cassie: At the barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrber shop!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting pirate!
Interrup -
Arrrrrr!

Knock, scratch, knock.
Who’s there?
Captain Hook.

Jack: What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
Jake: You would think it is the ‘r’ but it is really the ‘c.’

Pirate ship: A thugboat.

Picture of an old dilapidated sailing ship docked in a harbor.

Pirates often did not take pride in their vessels, so what we see here is typical of the sad state of disrepair in which a gang of murderous thieves would have kept a ship.

Connie: What clings to the underside of pirate ships and slows them down?
Constance: Barrrrrrnacles!

For any landlubbers who might be foolhardy enough to want to learn about real pirates, we heartily recommend the book, “Thomas Jefferson and the Tripoli Pirates” (3 November 2015) by Brian Kilmeade and Don Yaeger. You can get it into your grubby paws by making a visit to your local library, or you can exchange some gold doubloons or whatever currency you might have for it at your favorite bookseller.

Martin: What is a buccaneer?
Mortimer: What pirates pay for corn these days.

A man went to the employment office looking for work. He was told that he could have the part of Long John Silver in a new movie version of “Treasure Island.” “That’s marvelous!” said the man. “How much will I be paid?” “Ten thousand dollars a week,” was the reply. “Great!” said the man. “So do I start acting on Monday?” “Oh, no,” said the clerk. “On Monday, you’re having your leg amputated.”

Pirate Pete: What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs and two hands?
Pirate Paul: Rookie.

Toby: When do pirates plant trees?
Tobias: On Arrrborrr Day! (For to make their wooden legs, don’t you be a-knowin’!)

Swashbuckling: To engage in daring and romantic adventures with ostentatious bravado or flamboyance. Aaarrr, don’t ask us, we really don’t know what that means, either.

Erma: Why could the pirate not play cards?
Myrna: Because the captain was standing on the deck!

Pegleg: Why do pirate ships have Global Positioning System (GPS) devices?
Captain Hook: So that pirates always know where they arrr-rrr!

Picture of a pirate flag with a skull and crossbones on it flying from a flagpole and a clear blue sky in the background.

A flag bearing a black field, upon which is displayed a skull and crossbones, is associated with pirate ships . . . but what if real pirates do not give such warnings, instead preferring to make surprise sneak attacks, or raids, upon sleepy coastal towns and unprotected merchant trading ships?

Agatha: Why did the pirate take his mother to the movie theater with him?
Amanda: Because the movie was rated ‘arrrrrr!’

Creative types think pirates are so great that they are making up new kinds of pirates: pirate princesses, pirate cheerleaders, pirate cats, pirate fairies . . . how much further can this silliness go?

Pirate cheerleaders have it easy: “Give me an Rrrrrr!”

Astor: Why are pirates called pirates?
Reed: They just arrrrrr!

Naomi: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Vanessa: Because they spend years at ‘c’!

A Pirate of Boulder

There was a bold pirate of Boulder
Whose cutlass was slung from his shoulder.
He’d mighty fine notions
Of plundering oceans,
But his mom said, “Perhaps when you’re older.”

by Graham Lester at https://grahamlester.webs.com/index.htm

Dudley: What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Smedley: “Aye, matey!”

Milford: What is a pirate’s second career choice?
Milton: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrchitect!

A common belief about pirates is that they made people walk along a plank until they fell into the sea, where they would be eaten by sharks. This popular notion simply is not true; author James Matthew Barrie made it up for his children’s storybook, “Peter Pan” (1928).

Riddle: What has eight arms and eight legs and eight eyes?
Solution: Eight pirates!

Patrice: What is a pirate’s favorite hobby?
Tricia: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt.

“I’ll never pet an alligator again,” Captain Hook said offhandedly.

Lydia: What is a pirate’s favorite country?
Lynette: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgentina!

Renée: Where do pirates put their trash?
Sheila: In the garrrrrrrrrrrrrrrbage can!

Mack: What does a pirate do after saying, “Arrr!” one too many times?
Cam: Ask if anybody has a sore throat lozenge.

Blake: Why does Captain Hook have trouble telling time?
Caleb: His second hand keeps falling off.

Sue: What does a vegetarian pirate do?
Stu: He starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrves!

Picture of a toy pirate ship made from a block of Styrofoam with a thin sheet of plywood atop it, a thin wooden stick for a mast, and a piece of a paper for a sail, with a skull and crossbones drawn by hand on the sail. The toy pirate ship is floating in a pond.

Well, shiver me timbers, laddies and lassies, thar’s pirates in them thar waters! Yes, indeed, the pirates aaaaaarrr coming, the pirates aaaaaarrr coming! Quick, we’d better think up some more pirate jokes before they get here so we can entertain them! More fun and learning is coming up next . . . on MFOL!

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Shopping

5/9/2022

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Picture of a man shopping in a store for a suit.

“Whenever you buy something from a small local business, an actual person does a little happy dance.” -Author Unknown

“I don’t play sports. The only strenuous activity I do is shopping. But there’s a lot of walking involved in that - running sometimes, if there’s a sale.” -Author Unknown

“About eighty percent of the food on shelves of supermarkets today didn’t exist 100 years ago.” -Larry McCleary

To Market

To market, to market,
     To buy a fat pig,
Home again, home again,
     Jiggety jig,

To market, to market,
     To buy a fat hog,
Home again, home again,
     Jiggety jog,

To market, to market,
     To buy a plum bun,
Home again, home again,
     Market is done.

by Author Unknown

“I bet deep down you still wish your mom would take you clothes shopping every August for the new school year.” -Bridget Willard

“The woman just ahead of you at the supermarket checkout has all the delectable groceries you didn’t even know they carried.” -Mignon McLaughlin

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, “No, ma’am, we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any soon.” Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, “That isn’t true, ma’am. Of course, we’ll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago.” Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, “Never, never, never, never say we don’t have something. If we don’t have it, say we ordered it and it’s on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?” “Rain.”

“I’ve been shopping all my life and still have nothing to wear!” -Sally Poplin

“I always make a list before I go to the grocery store. Sometimes I even remember to bring it with me.” -Author Unknown

“Grocery list (grow•sree list), noun: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.” -Author Unknown

“The best things in life are free. The second-best are very expensive.” -Coco Chanel

“When the checker at the supermarket asked my uncle if he would like the milk in a bag, my uncle replied, ‘No, just leave it in the carton.’” -Author Unknown

“Self-Checkout Line - The place where customers of an establishment become unpaid employees of the establishment.” -Richard E. Turner (1937 - 2011): “The Curmudgeon’s Short Dictionary of Modern Phrases” (about 2009), ‘The Grammar Curmudgeon, a.k.a. ‘The Mudge’’

Overheard: Today I went to the corner shop - and bought four corners.

“Everything is worth what its purchaser will pay for it.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): as attributed in Darius Lyman: “The Moral Sayings of Publius Syrus, a Roman Slave: from the Latin” (1856): “Sententiae,” Maxim 847

Overheard: The food at the convenience store in my neighborhood is so old that the expiration dates are in Roman numerals.

“When you go out to buy, don’t show your silver.” -Author Unknown

Grocery Store Bagger, speaking to Customer: Paper or plastic?
Customer: Surprise me!

“The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.” -Erma Bombeck (Erma Louise Bombeck (born Erma Louise Fiste (1927 - 1996)))

“I went into a general store. They wouldn’t let me buy anything specifically.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

Picture taken inside a shop at the cashier station with a sign reading, ‘Please Squeak Toy For Cashier, Thank You’ and a gray toy plastic elephant squeaky toy next to it.

Dolly: What do you get when alien teenagers invade shopping malls on Earth?
Molly: Clothes encounters of the weird kind.

“If it’s good, they’ll stop making it.” -Herbert Block

Two men were lost in the desert. They were desperate for water, but just as they thought there was no hope, they chanced upon a village where market day was in full swing. They went to the first market stall they saw, and asked if they could buy some water. “No,” replied the stall owner, “I only sell fruit. Try the next stall.” So off they went to the next stall and again they asked for water. “Sorry,” said the merchant, “but I only sell custard.” “Custard?” one of the men said to the other, “What kind of place is this?” By then completely desperate, they went to the next stall, only to be told, “Sorry, but I only sell jelly.” Hearing this, one of the thirsty men turned to the other and asked, “Do you think this is a trifle bazaar?”

Overheard: Whenever I am at the market, I always seem to get the shopping cart with the one bad wheel.

Rule 1: The customer is always right.
Rule 2: If the customer is ever wrong, reread rule 1.
-Stew Leonard: policy of Stew Leonard’s dairy stores.

“When I was in the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, ‘Are you two an item?’” -Author Unknown

So a guy walked into an antiques store and asked, “What’s new?”

“Three women and a goose make a market.” -Author Unknown

“I’m obsessed with shopping. I’ll get these urges to buy, like to shop for stuff on the internet. I search for all kinds of weird gizmos I could get.” -Tom Felton

Customer to bookstore owner: “I would like to return this book on modern medical procedures.”
Owner: “Is something wrong with it?”
Customer: “Someone removed the appendix.”

“Ill ware is never cheape.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in George Herbert (1593 - 1633): “Jacula Prudentum; or Outlandish Proverbs, Sentences, &c. Selected by Mr. George Herbert” (1651), proverb 61

The manager of a grocery store nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was escorting the suspect to the office in the front of the store near the cash registers, when the shoplifter broke from his grip and tried to run away. After a scuffle, the store manager pinned him against the wall and looked up to see a number of surprised customers staring at him. “Everything’s fine, folks,” he reassured them. “This guy just tried to go through the express line with more than ten items.”

Sign at a farmer’s market: Please Do Not Put All Of Your Eggs In One Basket.

“Don’t a fellow feel good after he gets out of a store where he nearly bought something.” -Frank McKinney Hubbard (Frank McKinney ‘Kin’ Hubbard (1868 - 1930))

Question: What is the most expensive vehicle to operate?
Answer: A shopping cart.

Shopper: Someone who goes buy-buy.

Overheard: Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

Customer: Have you anything for gray hair?
Clerk: Nothing but the greatest respect.

The first product to have a UPC bar code on its packaging was Wrigley’s gum.

“Pleasing ware is halfe sould.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in George Herbert (1593 - 1633): “Jacula Prudentum; or Outlandish Proverbs, Sentences, &c. Selected by Mr. George Herbert” (1651), number 14

A small storeowner was being pressured to sell his store to the owners of a large department store, who had bought every building on the block, except his. Frustrated by the man’s refusal to sell, they eventually opened their huge store on either side of the small one, with a big banner running from one side to the other, proclaiming in huge letters “Grand Opening.” Below it, across the front of his small store, the man put up a small banner over his door: “Main Entrance.”

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts cannot easily reach everything.

Rumor has it that the best time to buy a new car is at the end of the month, because the sales people want their monthly reports to look good.

Huan: What are cashiers in China called?
Lok: Chinese checkers.

“Cheap things are not good; good things are not cheap.” -Author Unknown

The proprietor of a highly successful optical shop was instructing his son on how to charge a customer. “Son,” he said, “after you have fitted the glasses, and the customer asks what the charge will be, you say,” ‘The charge is 98 dollars.’ Then you pause and wait to see if he flinches. If the customer doesn’t flinch, you then say, “For the frames. The lenses will be another 98 dollars.” Then you pause again, this time only slightly, and watch for the flinch. If he doesn’t flinch this time, you say firmly, “Each.”

“Shopping: Retail therapy.” -Joe Heuer

“A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980))

Sales Clerk to Customer: “This is an actual fire sale. The boss said that if I do not make a sale today, I am fired.”

Overheard: Aspirin, 300 for $2.87 - at that price, I can’t afford not to have a headache!

“Gift Shop: A place where you can see all of the things that you hope your relatives will not send to you for Christmas.” -Author Unknown

“Supermarket entrance: Say hello to good buys.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, “Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.” He said, ‘Yes, but not in a row.’” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“There is hardly anything in the world that some man can’t make a little worse and sell a little cheaper, and the people who consider price only are this man’s lawful prey.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“The other line moves faster.” -Etorre

“I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.” -Tommy Cooper

“Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?” -Author Unknown

Who buys,
Had need of an hundred Eyes;
But one’s enough,
For him that sells the Stuff.
-Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia” (1732), number 6129

“A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.” -Author Unknown

“Let the buyer beware.” -John Fitzherbert: “A Book of Husbandry” (1523)

Shopping Tip: Do not shop when you are hungry. Shop after eating something, otherwise you will be tempted to buy everything that looks good and is edible in the store, including things you normally would not buy, things that you should not buy, and things that can ruin your diet and your budget.

“He is never likely to have a good thing cheap who is afraid to ask the price.” -Author Unknown

“We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.” -Henny Youngman (Henry ‘Henny’ Youngman (1906 - 1998))

“People will buy anything that’s one to a customer.” -Sinclair Lewis (1885 - 1951)

“Buying something on sale is a special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it’s worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?” -Rita Rudner

“Right or wrong, the customer is always right.” -Marshall Field

This is MFOL! . . . your one-stop shop for humor and inspiration and learning . . .

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Love

5/1/2022

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Picture of a pair of yellow-collared lovebirds, a type of parrot, with both the male and female of the species having identical plumage, in this instance, green, black, and yellow feathers, and distinctive red beaks and white outlines where the beaks meet the face and also around the eyes.

Aren’t you two just the cutest little lovebirds?

“To love and be loved, is to feel the Sun from both sides.” -David Viscott (David Steven Viscott (1938 - 1996))

“You don’t have to be perfect to be worth loving.” -Harold S. Kushner (Harold Samuel Kushner (born 1935))

Book of Love

If I could read you like a book,
     And if I chanced to steal a look,
I wonder if I’d find that you
     Were just as faithful, and as true
In chapter four, page sixty-seven
     As you were on page eleven?

by Author Unknown

“Where there is great love, there are always miracles.” -Willa Sibert Cather (born Wilella Sibert Cather (1873 - 1947))

“Love is metaphysical gravity.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” -Dr. Seuss (pseudonym of Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 - 1991))

Melissa: Do you love me with all your heart?
Fred: Uh-huh.
Melissa: Do you think I am the most beautiful woman in the world?
Fred: Uh-huh.
Melissa: Am I the only one for you?
Fred: Uh-huh.
Melissa: Oh, you say the most wonderful things!

“Love is a verb.” -Clare Boothe Luce (1903 - 1987)

“What we love, we shall grow to resemble.” -Bernard of Clairvaux (C.E. 1090 - C.E. 1153)

“The heart that loves is always young.” -Author Unknown

“Love is the reward of love.” -Johann Friedrich von Schiller (Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller (1759 - 1805))

“Love is space and time measured by the heart.” -Marcel Proust (1871 - 1922)

“Love is never without some thorns.” -Author Unknown

“No one is perfect until you fall in love with them.” -Author Unknown

Perfect Love

They walked in the lane together,
     The sky was covered with stars;
They reached the gate in silence,
     He lifted down the bars.

She neither smiled nor thanked him,
     Because she knew not how;
For he was a farmer’s son,
     And she, a Jersey cow.

by Author Unknown

“Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that the person will love you back. Do not expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their hearts but if it does not, be content it grew in yours.” -Author Unknown

“To be loved, be lovable.” [translation to English]
“Ut ameris, amabilis esto.” [original Latin]
-Publius Ovidius Naso (also known simply as Ovid (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17)): “Ars Amatoria” (English: “The Art of Love”), Book II, line 107

“I love you more than yesterday, less than tomorrow.” -Edmond Rostand (1868 - 1918)

“We find rest in those we love, and we provide a resting place in ourselves for those who love us.” -Bernard of Clairvaux (C.E. 1090 - C.E. 1153)

“It’s love that makes the world go ’round.” -W. S. Gilbert (William Schwenck Gilbert (1836 - 1911))

“Love is all we have, the only way that each can help the other.” -Euripides (about 480 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.): “Orestes” (408 B.C.E.), line 298, as translated by William Arrowsmith

The Opposite of Two

What is the opposite of two?
     A lonely me, a lonely you.

by Richard Wilbur (Richard Purdy Wilbur (born 1921)): “Opposites” (1973)

“All love shifts and changes. I don’t know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time.” -Julie Andrews

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” -Erich Segal

“The heart is a strange beast and not ruled by logic.” -Maria V. Snyder (born 1973)

“What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.” -Pearl Bailey (Pearl Mae Bailey (1918 - 1990)): as quoted in “Weekly World News” (25 April 2005)

“We don’t love qualities; we love a person; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as their qualities.” -Jacques Maritain

“Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.” -Fyodor Dostoevsky (Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881))

“When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.” -Elizabeth Bowen (Elizabeth Dorothea Cole Bowen (1899 - 1973))

“When we first fall in love, we feel that we know all there is to know about life, and perhaps we are right.” -Author Unknown

Picture of the handwritten words, ‘I love you,’ and the words, ‘What does it mean? Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net’

“Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” -Paul of Tarsus: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘First Corinthians,’ chapter 13, verses 4 through 8

“I think . . . if it is true that there are as many minds as there are heads, then there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910))

Together

Because we do
     All things together
All things improve,
     Even weather.

Our daily meat
     And bread taste better,
Trees are greener,
     Rain is wetter.

by Paul Engle (1908 - 1991)

People have made a silly pastime of holding a daisy and plucking off its petals while saying, “He loves me, he loves me not,” or “She loves me, she loves me not.” Supposedly, the last petal has the answer - but how would a flower know?

“Just because someone does not love you the way you want him or her to, does not mean they do not love you with everything they have got.” -Author Unknown

“The great acts of love are done by those who are habitually performing small acts of kindness.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.” -Bette Davis (Ruth Elizabeth ‘Bette’ Davis (1908 - 1989)): “The Lonely Life” (1962), chapter 19

“We loved with a love that was more than love.” -Edgar Allan Poe (1809 - 1849): “Annabel Lee”; type of work: poem

“He was happy and unhappy all at once. He was in love.” -Petra Mathers: “Victor and Christabel” (1993)

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive, who?
Olive you!

“The course of true love never did run smooth.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” (1595 - 1596), Act I, scene 1, line 140; words of fictional character Lysander

“Hearts are wild creatures. That’s why our ribs are cages.” -Author Unknown

Jared: How do you mend a broken heart?
Annie: With ticker tape.

“To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.” -Bess Myerson (1924 - 2014)

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” -Robert A. Heinlein (Robert Anson Heinlein (1907 - 1988)): “Stranger in a Strange Land”

“To love someone means to see him as God intended him.” -Fyodor Dostoevsky (Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881))

“Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Venus and Adonis” (1593), line 821; type of work: narrative poem

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806 - 1861): “Sonnets from the Portuguese” (1850)

“Draw a circle, not a heart, around the one you love, because a heart can break, but a circle goes on forever.” -Danny Kaye (born David Daniel Kaminsky (1911 - 1987))

Love wasn’t put in your heart to stay.
Love isn’t love until you give it away.
-Michael W. Smith

“What power has love but forgiveness?” -William Carlos Williams (1883 - 1963)

Do you love me?
     Or do you not?
You told me once,
     But I forgot.
-Elena Helms

“I’m bananas for you - let’s never split!” -Author Unknown

“Love creates an ‘us’ without destroying the ‘me’.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

“If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater.” -Author Unknown

“I love you right up to the Moon - and back.” -Sam McBratney

“Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much a heart can hold.” -Zelda Fitzgerald (born Zelda Sayre (1900 - 1948))

I Love You!

I love you, I love you,
     I love you, I do.
But don’t get excited -
     I love monkeys, too!

by Author Unknown

“At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.” -Plato (about 427 B.C.E. - 347 B.C.E.): “The Symposium”

“True love isn’t so much a dreamy feeling that you have as it is an enduring commitment to give sacrificially - even, or perhaps especially, when you don’t feel like it.” -William R. Mattox, Junior

“Perfect love casts out fear.” -Uell Stanley Andersen (1917 - 1986)

“I love you more than all the stars in the sky.” -Author Unknown

“Who ever loved that lov'd* not at first sight?” -Christopher Marlowe (Christopher ‘Kit’ Marlowe (1564 - 1593)): “Hero and Leander”
*love’d: loved

“Love at first sight is a great time saver.” -Author Unknown

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” -Sam Keen (born 1931)

“To acquire love, fill yourself up with it until you become a magnet.” -Charles Haanel (1866 - 1949)

“We can only learn to love by loving.” -Iris Murdoch (Jean Iris ‘Iris’ Murdoch (1919 - 1999))

“Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary.” -Teresa of Calcutta (also known as Mother Teresa (born Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997)))

“One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“What a grand thing, to be loved! What a grander thing still, to love!” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“Love is by far the most important thing of all.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“The secret of health, happiness, and long life: If you simply learn how to accept and express love, you will live longer . . . be happier . . . grow healthier. For love is a powerful force.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“To love, and to be loved, is the greatest happiness of existence.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845): “Lady Holland’s Memoir” (1855), ‘Of Friendship’

I loved you yesterday,
     I love you still -
I always have,
     I always will.
-Author Unknown

“Real love stories never have endings.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“Do all things with love.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . where LMLML! (Levity Makes Life More Livable!)

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Self-Regard and Self-Acceptance

4/23/2022

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Picture of a happy smiling woman looking at herself in a mirror.

Fearlessly accept the one and only you . . .

“If I had one gift that I could give you, my friend, it would be the ability to see yourself as others see you, because only then would you know how extremely special you are.” -B. A. Billingsly

“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” -Joseph Campbell (1904 - 1987)

“Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end - no apologies, no regrets.” -Clark Moustakas (Clark E. Moustakas (1923 - 2012)): as quoted in Lori Knutson: “Sacred Simplicities: Meeting the Miracles in Our Lives” (2004), page 141

“Live as if you like yourself, and it may happen.” -Marge Piercy (born 1936)

“There might be things about yourself that you do not like . . . until one day you notice those same things in someone else who seems to be doing well enough in life. So go ahead and take a closer look at other people. You will see something of yourself in some of them and you will come to know an important truth, which is that you are a good enough person just as you are.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“It is not worth the while to let our imperfections disturb us always.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“You are wholly complete, and your success in life will be in direct proportion to your ability to accept this truth about you.” -Robert Anthony (Robert Newton Anthony (1916 - 2006))

“I May Not Be Totally Perfect, But Parts of Me Are Excellent” -Ashleigh Brilliant (Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant (born 1933)): title of book (1978)

“Be what you are. This is the first step towards becoming better than you are.” -Julius Charles Hare (1795 - 1855) and Augustus William Hare (1792 - 1834): “Guesses at Truth: By Two Brothers” (1861), page 555

“The greatest miracle you can hope for is self-acceptance.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017))

“When I start comparing myself to every stranger I pass on the street - convinced that each one is thinner, richer, smarter, and happier than I am - I will try to remember that they’re looking at me and thinking exactly the same thing.” -Barbara Graham

“When a person grows to like himself, he becomes more tolerant of others.” -Lao Wei: “Strawberry Wisdom”

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” -Lucille Ball (Lucille Désirée Ball (1911 - 1989))

“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832): “Faust” (1806), Part 1

“If you must love your neighbor as yourself, it is at least as fair to love yourself as your neighbor.” -Nicolas Chamfort (also known as Nicolas-Sébastien Roch (1741 - 1794))

“Self-approval and self-acceptance in the now are the main keys to positive changes in every area of our lives.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017))

Affirmation: “I accept myself as I am, all the while knowing I am also capable of becoming so much more.”

“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as you see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different.” -Stacey Charter

“Whatever you are doing, love yourself for doing it. Whatever you are feeling, love yourself for feeling it.” -Thaddeus Golas (Thaddeus Stanley Golas (1924 - 1997))

“I care not so much what I am in the opinion of others as what I am in my own; I would be rich of myself and not by borrowing.” -Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592): “Essais” (English: “Essays”) (March 1580), ‘Of Glory’

“The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.” -Maya Angelou (born Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

“Every human being is trying to say something to others. Trying to cry out, ‘I am alive, notice me! Speak to me! Listen to me! Confirm for me that I am important. That I matter!’” -Marion D. Hanks (Marion Duff Hanks (1921 - 2011))

“Be a Friend to thyself and others will too.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 847

“I’m not perfect, but I’m pretty good.” -Author Unknown

“Accept yourself as you are. Otherwise you will never see opportunity. You will not feel free to move toward it; you will feel you are not deserving.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.” -Author Unknown

“Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly.” -Francis de Sales (1567 - 1622)

“Be yourself . . . you’re better at it.” -Author Unknown

“It needs to be said and heard: It’s okay to be who you are.” -Hailee Steinfeld (born 1996)

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” -Carl Rogers (Carl Ransom Rogers (1902 - 1987))

Overheard: Would you like you, if you met you?

“It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is.” -Desiderius Erasmus (Desiderius Erasmus Roterodamus, also known as Erasmus of Rotterdam or simply Erasmus (1466 - 1536))

“No one is perfect. Gently accept your humanness.” -Deborah Day

“We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.” -Roderick Thorp (Roderick Mayne Thorp, Junior (1936 - 1999)): “Rainbow Drive” (1986)

“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” -Brené Brown (Casandra Brené Brown (born 1965))

“To know oneself, one should assert oneself.” -Albert Camus (1913 - 1960)

Self-love, my liege*, is not so vile a sin
As self-neglecting.
-William Shakespeare(1564 - 1616): “Henry V” (about 1599), Act 2, scene 4, lines 74 and 75
*liege: a feudal superior to whom allegiance and service are due, within a feudal society in which land use by subjects is exchanged for work.

“I don’t want everyone to like me; I should think less of myself if some people did.” -Henry James (Henry James, Junior (1843 - 1916))

“To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections.” -Sandra Bierig

“If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. And that makes you so happy.” -Kristin Chenoweth (Kristin Dawn Chenoweth (born in 1968 as Kristi Dawn Chenoweth))

“Don’t be-little yourself. Be-big yourself.” -Corita Kent (Mary Corita Kent (1918 - 1986))

“When you acknowledge the less than perfect parts of yourself, something magical begins to happen. Along with the negative, you’ll also begin to notice the positive, the wonderful aspects of yourself that you may not have given yourself credit for, or perhaps even been aware of.” -Richard Carlson (1961 - 2006): “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” (1997)

“Stop hating yourself for everything that you aren’t. Start loving yourself for everything that you are.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t look for approval from anyone other than yourself.” -Jonathan Lockwood Huie (born 1945)

“A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.” -Vernon Howard (Vernon Linwood Howard (1918 - 1992))

“Often, it’s not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be.” -Heath L. Buckmaster: “Box of Hair: A Fairy Tale” (30 April 2008)

“You were born to be real, not to be perfect.” -Author Unknown

“It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.” -Sally Field (Sally Margaret Field Mahoney (born 1946))

“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” -Diane Von Furstenberg (born 1946 as Diane Simone Michelle Halfin)

“Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship to myself.” -Nathaniel Branden (born 1930)

“Self-respect is not a function of size, age, or wealth. Breathe deep, sing loud and sweet, ‘I am me, I am unique, I am magnificent.’” -Jonathan Lockwood Huie (born 1945)

“Once you embrace your value, talents, and strengths, it neutralizes when others think less of you.” -Rob Liano at https://robliano.wordpress.com/

“Too many people overvalue what they are not, and undervalue what they are.” -Malcolm S. Forbes (Malcolm Stevenson Forbes (1919 - 1990))

“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” -Author Unknown

“What self-acceptance does is open up more possibilities of succeeding because you aren’t fighting yourself along the way.” -Shannon Ables

“Option A: Spend your life trying to get others to accept you. Option B: Accept yourself, and spend your life with others who recognize what a beauty you are.” -Scott Stabile

“If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.” -Charles Bukowski (1920 - 1994)

“The greatest success is successful self-acceptance.” -Ben Sweet

“What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you.” -Author Unknown

“I think everybody’s weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.” -Johnny Depp (born 1963 as John Christopher Depp II)

“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.” -Amy Bloom (born 1953)

“It’s not your job to like me . . . it’s mine!” -Byron Katie (Byron Kathleen Mitchell (born 1942))

“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits - anything that kept me small. My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.” -Kim McMillen: “When I Loved Myself Enough” (2001)

“Be yourself. Try to be anything else but your genuine self, even if you deceive the entire world, and you will be ten thousand times worse than nothing . . . You have been blessed with special skills that are yours alone. Use them, whatever they may be and forget about wearing another’s hat. A talented chariot driver can win gold and renown with his skills. Let him pick figs and he would starve. No one can take your place! Realize this and be yourself. You have no obligation to succeed. You have only the obligation to be true to yourself. Do the very best that you can, in the things you do best, and you will know, in thy soul, that you are the greatest success in the world.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996)): “The Greatest Success in the World” (1968), page 94

“Loving yourself isn’t vanity, it’s sanity.” -André Gide (André Paul Guillaume Gide (1869 - 1951))

“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward.” -Roy T. Bennett: “The Light in the Heart” (26 February 2016)

“You work so hard to fix yourself, but maybe what you need isn’t another tactic, another book, another expert, another five-step plan. Maybe, you don’t need to be fixed. Maybe, what’s really holding you back is the idea that you need to be fixed.” -Vironika Tugaleva (born 1988)

“I’ve finally stopped running away from myself. Who else is there better to be?” -Goldie Hawn (Goldie Jeanne Hawn (born 1945))

“If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” -Fred Rogers (Fred McFeely Rogers (1928 - 2003))

“Change is possible, but it must start with self-acceptance.” -Alexander Lowen (1910 - 2008)

“Believing in our hearts that who we are is enough is the key to a more satisfying and balanced life.” -Ellen Sue Stern

“If you want to be somebody, somebody really special, be yourself.” -Author Unknown

“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017))

“Acceptance is the key to everything.” -Michael J. Fox (pseudonym of Michael Andrew Fox (born 1961))

“When you stop living your life based on what others think of you, real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self-acceptance opened.” -Shannon L. Alder at https://www.shannonalder.com/

“We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light.” -Mary Dunbar (Evelyn Mary Dunbar (1906 - 1960))

The most delightful surprise in life
Is to suddenly recognize your own worth.
-Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“Our entire life - consists ultimately in accepting ourselves as we are.” -Jean Marie Lucien Pierre Anouilh (1910 - 1987)

“What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself.” -Hecato (also known as Hecaton of Rhodes): as quoted in Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (about 4 B.C.E. - C.E. 65)): “Epistulae morales ad Lucilium” (about C.E. 65)

“One must have the adventurous daring to accept oneself as a bundle of possibilities and undertake the most interesting game in the world: Making the most of one’s best.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969)

This is MFOL! . . . the website for exceptional people like you . . .

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Self-Improvement and Self-Help

4/16/2022

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Picture of a road sign with the words, ‘Your New Self Just Ahead, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net’ and a blue sky with hazy white clouds in the background.

“Change yourself and your fortune will change with you.” -Author Unknown

“It only takes one person to change your life - you.” -Ruth Casey

“Each person’s task in life is to become an increasingly better person.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910))

“The better person you become, the better people you will attract.” -Author Unknown

“A truly wise person will constantly move forward, striving for self-improvement.” -Marvin J. Ashton (Marvin Jeremy Ashton (1915 - 1994))

“Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew.” -Francis de Sales (1567 - 1622)

“How do we become true and good, happy and genuine, joyful and free? Only by getting in touch with good, true, happy, genuine human beings, only by seeking the company of the strong and the free, only by catching spontaneity and freedom from those who are themselves spontaneous and free.” -Charles Malike (1906 - 1988)

“If you improve 1 percent a day, then in 100 days, guess what? You’re 100 percent better.” -Coach Carter

“Let us strive to improve ourselves, for we cannot remain stationary; one either progresses or retrogrades.” -Mademoiselle Du Deffand (Marie Anne de Vichy-Chamrond, Marquise du Deffand (1697 - 1780))

“Be the kind of person you want to meet.” -Author Unknown

“Let’s build a better you . . . we will need some glue, pop-sickle sticks, pipe cleaners, glitter, crayons, yarn, construction paper . . . what, you say you are not made out of any of those things?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“You make the world a better place by making yourself a better person.” -Scott Sorrell

“Ignore the ones who say it’s too late to start over. Disregard those who say you’ll never amount to anything. Turn a deaf ear to those who say you aren’t smart enough, fast enough, tall enough, or big enough - ignore them.” -Max Lucado (born 1955)

“In the long term the most important question . . . is not what you are but what you are becoming.” -Gary Hamel

“Everyone planning to make something worthwhile out of himself must be a self-remade man, and should be an intelligent remodeling job going on all the time.” -Sterling W. Sill (Sterling Welling Sill (1903 - 1994))

“Every day is a day you can be a better person than you were yesterday.” -Author Unknown

“Do not think of your faults, still less of others’ faults; look for what is good and strong, and try to imitate it. Your faults will drop off, like dead leaves, when their time comes.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“Build upon strengths, and weaknesses will gradually take care of themselves.” -Joyce C. Lock

“There’s only one corner of the Universe you can be certain of improving and that’s your own self . . . You have to begin there, not outside, not on other people. That comes afterwards, when you’ve worked on your own corner.” -Aldous Huxley (Aldous Leonard Huxley (1894 - 1963)): “Time Must Have a Stop” (1944)

“Know thyself? If I knew myself, I’d run away.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“To become different from what we are, we must have some awareness of what we are.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)

“No man is capable of self-improvement if he sees no other model but himself.” -Conrado I. Generoso

“Be yourself. No one can ever tell you you’re doing it wrong.” -James Leo Herlihy (1927 - 1993)

“It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time.” -Margery Williams (Margery Williams Bianco (1881 - 1944)): “The Velveteen Rabbit” (1922)

“What we shall be, we are becoming.” -Author Unknown

“I have had more trouble with myself than with any other man I have ever met.” -Dwight L. Moody (Dwight Lyman Moody (1837 - 1899))

“USA stands for Unconditional Self-Acceptance.” -Author Unknown

“If you are still searching for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” -Author Unknown

“If you want a kinder world, then behave with kindness; if you want a peaceful world, make peace within.” -Dan Millman (born 1946)

“Man is nothing else but what he makes of himself.” -Jean-Paul Sartre (1905 - 1980)

“Might I give counsel to any man, I would say to him, try to frequent the company of your betters. In books and in life, that is the most wholesome society; learn to admire rightly; the great pleasure of life is that. Note what great men admire.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863)

“Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you act.” -George W. Crane (George Washington Crane III (1901 - 1995))

“How can there be self-help ‘groups’?” -Author Unknown

“People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy.” -Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774)

“If we are unduly absorbed in improving our lives we may forget altogether to live them.” -Alan Watts (Alan Wilson Watts (1915 - 1973))

“Improvement begins with I.” -Arnold H. Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“None will improve your lot if you yourself do not.” -Bertolt Brecht (Eugen Berthold Friedrich ‘Bertolt’ Brecht (1898 - 1956)) (1933)

“For a person to build a rich and rewarding life for himself, there are certain qualities and bits of knowledge that he needs to acquire. There are also things, harmful attitudes, superstitions, and emotions that he needs to chip away. A person needs to chip away everything that doesn’t look like the person he or she most wants to become.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“Help thyself.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Chiefly the mould of a man’s fortune is in his own hands.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): “Essays” (1625), ‘Of Fortune’

“I am still far from being what I want to be, but with God’s help I shall succeed.” -Vincent van Gogh (Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 - 1890))

“Seeing ourselves as we want to be is a key to personal growth. To successfully bring about change in our lives we need to implement a system of change that is built upon three assumptions. First Assumption: We change our lives by changing the attitudes of our minds. Second Assumption: We become what we think about all day long. Third Assumption: Our mind is naturally goal seeking. Please remember these assumptions. Our mind is always trying to accomplish something. We have a powerful machine wanting to achieve goals. It will set the goals that we allow it to.” -Hyrum W. Smith

“Be yourself, everyone else is taken.” -Author Unknown

“In that worthiest of all struggles, the struggle for self-mastery and goodness, we are far less patient with ourselves than God is with us.” -J. G. Holland (Josiah Gilbert Holland (1819 - 1881))

“Whatever you are, try to be a good one.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863): as quoted in Laurence Hutton’s memoir, ‘A Boy I Once Knew,’ serialized in “St. Nicholas: An Illustrated Magazine for Young Folks” (March 1897), Volume 24, Number 5, page 413, column 2

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” -Carl Rogers (1902 - 1987)

“Identify and develop your unique talents and abilities, the things that make you special.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“The simple part is, every thought we think and every word we speak is creating our future. If you change your thinking, you can change your life.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017))

“Self-help must precede help from others. Even for making certain of help from Heaven one has to help oneself.” -Morarji Ranchhodji Desai (1896 - 1995)

“Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.” -Julius Charles Hare (1795 - 1855)

“It is right to be contented with what we have, but never with what we are.” -James Mackintosh (1765 - 1832): as attributed in “The True Briton” (7 July 1853) magazine

“If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.” -Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)

“It is not always possible to be the best, but it is always possible to improve your own performance.” -Jackie Stewart (John Young ‘Jackie’ Stewart (born 1939))

“Try a little harder to be a little better.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“The better I get, the more I realize how much better I can get.” -Martina Navratilova (born 1956)

“That’s the risk you take if you change: that people you’ve been involved with won’t like the new you. But other people who do will come along.” -Lisa Alther (born 1944)

“You don’t get better by chance; you get better by change.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in Kit Summers and Robert Schwarz: “Juggling with Finesse” (1987), page 19

September of each year is Self-Improvement Month. Why wait - let’s get started now!

“The first step to improvement, whether mental, moral, or religious, is to know ourselves - our weaknesses, errors, deficiencies, and sins, that, by divine grace, we may overcome and turn from them all.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 517

“Seeing yourself as you want to be is the key to personal growth.” -Author Unknown

“There is no shame in having fallen. Nor any shame in being born into a lowly estate. There is only shame in not struggling to rise. And also shame for not wishing to attain the better. Or not dreaming about it and praying for it.” -Samuel Amalu

“We are either progressing or retrograding all the while; there is no such thing as remaining stationary in this life.” -James Freeman Clarke (1810 - 1888)

“I went to a bookstore today and asked the manager where the self-help section was. She said, ‘If I told you, that would defeat the whole purpose.’” -Brian Kiley (born 1962)

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” -Judy Garland (Frances Gumm (1922 - 1969)): as quoted in “The Reader’s Digest” (1998)

“If you want a quality, act as if you already had it. Try the ‘as if’ technique.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“People never improve unless they look to some standard or example higher and better than themselves.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 156

“You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be.” -David Viscott (1938 - 1996)

“The greatest gift you can give to somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, ‘If you will take care of me, I will take care of you.’ Now I say, ‘I will take care of me for you if you will take care of you for me.’” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.” -William Faulkner (William Cuthbert ‘Will’ Faulkner (1897 - 1962))

“Everything comes by being! Be the love you seek. Be the friend you seek. Be the honesty you seek. Be the integrity you seek. Be the patience you seek. Be the tolerance you seek. Be the compassion you seek.” -Bryant McGill (born 1969)

“The Bible is the best self-help book - if you haven’t read it you should take a look. It is full of life stories that we all can see that life is, at times, not so easy.” -Catherine Pulsifer (born 1927): “Take A Look”

“It is necessary to try to surpass oneself always; this occupation ought to last as long as life.” -Queen Christina of Sweden (born Kristina Augusta Wasa, later known as Christina Alexandra (1626 - 1689))

“I am that which must ever surpass itself.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)

“If you want to attract happy, positive things . . . become a happy, positive person! Work from the inside out!” -Mandy Hale (born 1978)

“You are more likely to be successful at attempting to be better than yourself than to be better than someone else.” -Author Unknown

“To be always intending to live a new life, but never to find time to set about it; this is as if a man should put off eating, and drinking, and sleeping, from one day and night to another, till he is starved and destroyed.” -John Tillotson (1630 - 1694): as attributed in “The Ladies’ Companion; or, Peoples’ Annual” (August 1842)

“Never mind what others do; do better than yourself, beat your own record from day to day, and you are a success.” -William J. H. Boetcker (William John Henry Boetcker (1873 - 1962))

“There are times when a man should be content with what he has, but never with what he is.” -William George Jordan (1864 - 1928): “The Majesty of Calmness: Individual Problems and Possibilities” (1900)

“Your life will never improve unless you start making daily improvements.” -Lewis Howes (Lewis David Howes (born 1983))

“There is nothing noble in being superior to some other man. True nobility comes from being superior to your previous self.” -Author Unknown: Hindustani proverb: as quoted in George Derby, compiler: “A Conspectus of American Biography” (1906), page 726

“When you improve a little each day, eventually big things occur. When you improve conditioning a little each day, eventually you have a big improvement in conditioning. Not tomorrow, not the next day, but eventually a big gain is made. Don’t look for the big, quick improvement. Seek the small improvement. Seek the small improvement one day at a time. That’s the only way it happens - and when it happens, it lasts.” -John Wooden (1910 - 2010)

“Be the best version of you.” -Author Unknown

We are MFOL! . . . and just like you, we’re always improving . . .

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Environmentalism and Animal Rights

4/8/2022

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‘Tree-hugger’ is another name for an environmentalist.

“Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar.” -Bradley Millar

“I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes.” -P. J. O’Rourke

Kindness to Animals

Speak gently to the herring and kindly to the calf,
Be blithesome with the bunny, at barnacles don’t laugh!
Give nuts unto the monkey, and buns unto the bear,
Ne’er hint at currant jelly if you chance to see a hare!
Oh, little girls, pray hide your combs when tortoises draw nigh,
And never in the hearing of a pigeon whisper Pie!
But give the stranded jelly-fish a shove into the sea, -
Be always kind to animals wherever you may be!
Oh, make not game of sparrows, nor faces at the ram,
And ne’er allude to mint sauce when calling on a lamb.
Don’t beard the thoughtful oyster, don’t dare the cod to crimp,
Don’t cheat the pike, or ever try to pot the playful shrimp.
Tread lightly on the turning worm, don’t bruise the butterfly,
Don’t ridicule the wry-neck, nor sneer at salmon-fry;
Oh, ne’er delight to make dogs fight, nor bantams disagree, -
Be always kind to animals wherever you may be!
Be lenient with lobsters, and ever kind to crabs,
And be not disrespectful to cuttle-fish or dabs;
Chase not the Cochin-China, chaff not the ox obese,
And babble not of feather-beds in company with geese.
Be tender with the tadpole, and let the limpet thrive,
Be merciful to mussels, don’t skin your eels alive;
When talking to a turtle don’t mention calipee-
Be always kind to animals wherever you may be.

by J. Ashby-Sterry

“And all young people are concerned environmentalists, but no one is interested in keeping the schoolyard clean!” -David McKay

“I am I plus my surroundings, and if I do not preserve the latter, I do not preserve myself.” -José Ortega y Gasset (1883 - 1955): “Meditations of Quixote” (1911)

“For the first time in history, one bag of groceries produces two bags of trash.” -Robert Orben (born 1927)

“We must fight against the spirit of unconscious cruelty with which we treat the animals. Animals suffer as much as we do. True humanity does not allow us to impose such sufferings on them. It is our duty to make the whole world recognize it. Until we extend our circle of compassion to all living things, humanity will not find peace.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965): “The Philosophy of Civilization” (1951)

“If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.” -Jack Handey (born 1949)

“People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it’s safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.” -Author Unknown

“It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians.” -Henrik Ibsen (Henrik Johan ‘Henrik’ Ibsen (1828 - 1906))

“The environment is everything that isn’t me.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“Over increasingly large areas of the United States, spring now comes unheralded by the return of the birds, and the early mornings are strangely silent where once they were filled with the beauty of bird song.” -Rachel Carson (1907 - 1964): “Silent Spring” (27 September 1962)

“Remember, people, if you were meant to have a fur coat, nature would have given you one. Do not be a thief and steal a fur coat from some animal who is its rightful owner.” -Author Unknown

When is Earth Day? Earth Day is observed by environmental activists on 22 April of each year. If you are a regular person and not an environmental activist, Earth Day is every day.

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.” -Doctor Seuss (pseudonym of Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 - 1991)): “The Lorax” (1971)

The Chernobyl nuclear disaster region has become one of the world’s most unique wildlife sanctuaries, with thriving populations of wolves, deer, beavers, eagles, fish, and other animals.

“Water and air, the two essential fluids on which all life depends, have become global garbage cans.” - Jacques Cousteau (Jacques-Yves Cousteau (1910 - 1997))

“The basis of all animal rights should be the Golden Rule: we should treat them as we would wish them to treat us, were any other species in our dominant position.” -Christine Stevens

“Strip mining prevents forest fires.” -Author Unknown

Ninety-nine percent of all animal species that ever lived on Earth are now extinct - not because of human activity, but because every species has a ‘life cycle.’ Every species appears on the planet, goes through some changes, and then eventually dies out. This is part of the natural ‘cycle of life.’ By some estimates, animal species average about five million years of existence. Everything that begins also ends.

“No one in the world needs a mink coat but a mink.” -Murray Banks

“Our priorities are out of whack. We spend too much to protect birds and fish at the expense of people.” -Sam Graves

Wrong-Way Alien

A curious creature from Saturn
Came to Earth on some orbital pattern.
     It saw our brown air,
     And cement everywhere,
And screamed, “Why did I take that turn?!”

by Author Unknown

Each year, the United States of America produces enough plastic wrap to shrink-wrap the entire state of Texas. Are you thinking what we’re thinking? Let’s do it!

What should you do if you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) was formed in 1866. It is a long-standing organization, unlike the here-today-and-gone-tomorrow groups of obnoxious hip young attention seekers who hold noisy protest demonstrations in front of shopping malls and on street corners. Additionally, the ASPCA has fantastic pet toys so that you and your furry friend can play together. The ASPCA website is www.aspca.org.

Thames in Flames

In England, when crossing the Thames,
It sparkles and shimmers, like James.
     It’s even reputed
     To be unpolluted,
Though in places it bursts into flames!

by Author Unknown

“No one should be able to enter a wilderness by mechanical means.” -Garrett Hardin: as quoted in “The Ecologist” (February 1974)

Animal Rights Activist: Ma’am, do you realize some poor dumb beast suffered horribly so that you could wear that mink coat you have on?
Woman: How dare you talk that way about my husband!

“(Henry Bergh) was a notable defender of animals, and was the founder, in 1866, of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. This was the first humane society in the United States, antedating - a strange commentary - the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, founded by another Fifth Avenue resident, Elbridge T. Gerry, in 1874. Bergh was originally outraged by the treatment of horses on New York’s streets, especially the overworked beasts that pulled the omnibuses and stages.” -Jerry E. Patterson: “Fifth Avenue: The Best Address” (1998)

“With everything we read about spray cans and the ozone layer, it’s enough to scareosol to death.” -Author Unknown

Modern technology
Owes ecology
An apology.
-Alan M. Eddison: as quoted in Rosemary McDougall: “Worse Verse” (1969)

“The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.” -Burton Hillis (pseudonym of William Edward ‘Bill’ Vaughan (1915 - 1977))

“Hurt not the earth, neither the sea, nor the trees.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Book of Revelation,’ chapter 7, verse 3

“To cherish what remains of the Earth and to foster its renewal is our only legitimate hope of survival.” -Wendell Berry (Wendell Erdman Berry (born 1934))

The worst air polluter in the entire state of Washington is a volcano that goes by the name of Mount Saint Helens.

“A zoo is a facility where animals are imprisoned for the crime of being different from us.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Nobody knows the exact age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better.” -Author Unknown

America the Beautiful

O beautiful for smoggy skies
Insecticided grains
For strip-mined mountains, majesty
Above the asphalt plain.
America, America,
Man sheds his waste on thee
And hides the pines
With billboard signs
From sea to oily sea!

by George Carlin (George Denis Patrick Carlin (1937 - 2008))

“We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals.” -Immanuel Kant (1724 - 1804)

“Each generation takes the Earth as trustees. We ought to bequeath to posterity as many forests and orchards as we have exhausted and consumed.” -J. Sterling Morton

Little Timmy, age five, was looking at a picture book. When he came to a picture of a zebra, his father asked him what animal that was. Timmy thought a moment, and then answered, “It’s a cow that ate bio-engineered corn.”

“Pollution: The dirtiest word in the world.” -Author Unknown

This animal is very bad:
When attacked, it defends itself.
-Theodore P. K.

China produces more than 45 billion pairs of disposable chopsticks every year, using an estimated 25 million trees to do so. Hmmm . . . kinda makes reusable chopsticks seem like a good alternative, perhaps?

“Love thy neighbor, whether thy neighbor is a fuzzy bunny or a chirping chickadee or a grandpa who wears stripes with plaids.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I personally can see no reason for conceding mind to my fellow men and denying it to animals . . . I at least cannot doubt that the interests and activities of animals are correlated with awareness and feeling in the same way as my own and which may be for aught I know just as vivid.” -Walter Russel (Lord Brain)

A Robin Redbreast in a Cage
Puts all Heaven in a Rage.
-William Blake (1757 - 1827): ‘Auguries of Innocence’ (1803), lines 5 and 6; type of work: poem

“He that plants trees loves others besides himself.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734)

It turns out that everything is actually everything else, just recycled. Matter becomes energy, and energy becomes matter, and so on. Nothing is ever destroyed, it just changes form. The Universe is a giant recycling system.

“Save a tree. Eat a beaver.” -Author Unknown

The Green Thing

In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags were not good for the environment. The woman apologized to him and explained, “We didn’t have the green thing back in my day.” The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment.” He was right - our generation did not have the green thing in its day. Back then, we returned milk bottles and soda bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn’t have the green thing back in our day. We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn’t have the green thing in our day. Back then, we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts - wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that old lady is right; we didn’t have the green thing back in our day. Back then, we had one television, or radio, in the house - not a TV in every room. And, the television had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she’s right; we didn’t have the green thing back then. We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn’t have the green thing back then. Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint. But isn’t it sad that the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the green thing back then? Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from an opinionated young person.

by Author Unknown

Most landfilled trash retains its original weight, volume, and form for 40 years or longer.

“Save the krill. Eat a whale.” -Author Unknown

“Any fool can destroy trees. They cannot run away; and if they could, they would still be destroyed - chased and hunted down as long as fun or a dollar could be got out of their bark hides, branching horns, or magnificent bole backbones. Few that fell trees plant them; nor would planting avail much towards getting back anything like the noble primeval forests . . . It took more than three thousand years to make some of the trees in these Western woods - trees that are still standing in perfect strength and beauty, waving and singing in the mighty forests of the Sierra. Through all the wonderful, eventful centuries . . . God has cared for these trees, saved them from drought, disease, avalanches, and a thousand straining, leveling tempests and floods; but he cannot save them from fools - only Uncle Sam can do that.” -John Muir (1838 - 1914): “Our National Parks” (1901), chapter 10

“There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth. We are all crew.” -Marshall McLuhan (Herbert Marshall McLuhan (1911 - 1980)) (1965)

“We are not going to be able to operate our Spaceship Earth successfully nor for much longer unless we see it as a whole spaceship and our fate as common. It has to be everybody or nobody.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“The frog does not drink up the pond in which he lives.” -Author Unknown: Indian proverb

“We talk so much about leaving a better planet to our children, that we forget about leaving better children to this planet. Educate your children - say ‘no’ to them every once in a while.” -Author Unknown

“You cannot begin to preserve any species of animal unless you preserve the habitat in which it dwells. Disturb or destroy that habitat and you will exterminate the species as surely as if you had shot it. So conservation means that you have to preserve forest and grassland, river and lake, even the sea itself. This is not only vital for the preservation of animal life generally, but for the future existence of man himself - a point that seems to escape many people.” -Gerald Durrell

“Extinction is Forever.” -Author Unknown: Friends of the Animals

“The activist is not the man who says the river is dirty. The activist is the man who cleans up the river.” -Ross Perot (Henry Ross ‘Ross’ Perot (1930 - 2019))

Hurt no living thing:
Ladybird, nor butterfly,
Nor moth with dusty wing.
-Christina Rossetti (Christina Georgina Rossetti (1830 - 1894)): “Hurt No Living Thing”

We are MFOL! . . . saving the environment by recycling old jokes . . .

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Questions and Queries

4/1/2022

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Picture of a woman gazing quizzically upward, with large questions marks floating around her.

How can I get people to like me?

If you were to be trapped in a television show forever, which show would you choose?

Aren’t you just the cutest thing?

If you were a robot but did not know it, would you want people to tell you?

Where did you get that big, beautiful smile?

How can you know what you think until you speak so that you can hear what you have to say?

“It’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

If you were on the second floor of a three-story building, would you be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?

Would you tell me a true thing?

“I have become a question to myself.” [translation to English]
“Mihi quaestio factus sum.” [original Latin]
-Augustine of Hippo (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430): “Confessions” (about 397), X, 33

If we can make semi-conductors, can you just imagine what we could do if we made complete conductors?

What is the speed of dark?

Do you realize just how many holes there could be in the ground if people would just take the time to get a shovel and dig the dirt out of them?

What could possibly go wrong?

Why do British people not sound British when they sing?

Should Friday the 13th be made into a holiday?

If a chameleon was placed in a mirrored box, what color would it be - clear?

Why do we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

Why is it that when you walk up the stairs and you get to the top, you always think there is still one more step?

Is there a butterscotch flavored soft drink?

Everyone says it’s just Jim Dandy . . . but who is this Jim Dandy feller?

Is there something else you should be doing right now?

Does it seem that some people specialize in turning positives into negatives?

What did moths congregate around before campfires, torches, and light bulbs were invented?

Does wasting time damage eternity?

Can we spell creativity any way we want to?

If you could have picked your own name, what would it be?

What do penguins wear for play clothes?

Have you noticed that since everyone has a digital camera or a cell phone with a built-in camera these days, no one talks about seeing UFO’s and monsters and ghosts like they used to?

Who wants to go outside and play?

“He who asks a question may be a fool for five minutes, but he who never asks a question remains a fool forever.” -Tom J. Connelly

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why do people go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?

An average four-year-old child asks 437 questions a day. Have you asked a question today?

Picture of students and staff of the James E. Foy Information Desk at Auburn University.

Whether you need the answer to a serious question or a silly question, call 1-334-844-4244 to reach the Foy Information Line at Auburn University in Auburn, Alabama, United States of America. The service is staffed by students, who try to answer questions on any subject, and is available during the school year, 24 hours a day Monday through Thursday and until 9:00 p.m. Friday through Sunday. Be sure to tell them you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Since there is a speed of light and a speed of sound, is there a speed of smell and a speed of taste?

What would love do now?

Do some people have a condition that makes it difficult for them to remember the good things that happen and easy to remember the bad things that happen?

Are adults just older children?

Is it right that you should have only a broken down flea-bitten donkey while the local warlord has 300 camels and 1,200 horses?

What do you think is the right age for marriage and why?

“You’ve got to ask! Asking is, in my opinion, the world’s most powerful - and neglected - secret to success and happiness.” -Percy Ross

Who is the funniest person in the world?

What things do you always carry with you in your pocket, purse, backpack, or wallet?

What just happened?

Can you name something that is not weird, odd, or unusual?

Why are highways built so close to the ground?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alex?
Alex, who?
Alex the questions around here!

Why hasn’t someone invented a bed that makes itself yet?

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

Teacher: What if this was not a rhetorical question?
Student: What if this was not a hypothetical situation?

What do you like to do for fun?

A year from now, what will you wish you had done today?

“The word ‘question’ originates from the Latin root ‘quaestio’ meaning ‘to seek.’ Inside the word ‘question’ is the word ‘quest,’ suggesting that within every question is an adventure, a pursuit which can lead us to hidden treasure.” -Tom Wujec: “Five Star Mind” (1995)

How many days are in a light year?

“Since we have kneecaps to protect our leg joints, why do we not have elbowcaps to protect our funny bones?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If not you, who? If not now, when?” -Garry Herbert

How fast do you have to go to keep up with the Sun so that you are never in darkness?

What’s next?

Are there legitimate ways to earn money online?

“Asking silly questions now is better than correcting serious mistakes later.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

How old were you when you were born?

If life is so wonderful and exciting and full of interesting people and places and things, then why are we all by ourselves looking at the screens of our electronic devices?

What are male ballerinas called?

Sales Person: Be sure to ask me if you have any questions.
Customer: Sure thing . . . so do I have any questions?

Why is France so far away?

If a birdhouse is placed in a tree, does it then become a treehouse?

Picture of a man gazing quizzically upward, with large questions marks floating around him.

Who has been the biggest influence on your life?

“There are no foolish questions and no man becomes a fool until he has stopped asking questions.” -Charles Steinmetz (Charles Proteus Steinmetz (born Karl August Rudolf (1865 - 1923)))

Do you have all of your ducks in a row?

“Apart from the known and the unknown, what else is there?” -Harold Pinter

Who is the most interesting person you ever met, and why?

At the end of the day, are you better off than you were at the start of the day?

Why do we believe everything we see on the internet but question what The Bible says?

What is your favorite work of art?

Are social media websites turning us into weird little creatures - maybe not all of us, but enough of us so that the rest of us should be concerned?

What is keeping you from doing the things you need to do?

Does your physical address plus the time equal your space-time coordinates?

If you could be any kind of animal, what would you want to be and why?

Are we ever going to make it up this hill?

Which is a sign of higher intelligence, asking questions, or not asking questions?

Why does this keep happening?

“Why do people park in driveways and drive on parkways?” -Larry Anderson

Why is there one in every crowd?

Which do you like more: scary movies, romantic movies, or comedy movies?

What kind of place is this?

“Bromidic though it may sound, some questions don’t have answers, which is a terribly difficult lesson to learn.” -Katharine Graham (1917 - 2001)

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

“A questioning man is halfway to being wise.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb

What is the best advice you ever received?

“Ask the experienced rather than the learned.” -Author Unknown

Would you rather go shopping or sightseeing, and why?

“There are no foolish questions, only foolish silence.” -Author Unknown

If a thousand seagulls were in an airplane while it was flying, with each bird weighing two pounds, and all of them flying around inside the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2,000 pounds more?

Do you play a musical instrument?

If you could go back in time and speak to your younger self, what age would you choose and what would you say?

Why do we say an alarm is going off when it is actually turning on?

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

Would we all be better off if we refused to accept anything that was offered to us for free?

What is your favorite song?

If the Universe is expanding, why are parking spaces so hard to find?

“If water had a flavor, what color would it sound like?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

What do you think is beyond the stars?

Wow, those were some challenging and difficult questions! Fortunately, the topic that follows below this one on MFOL! is much easier . . .

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Worries and Worrying

3/28/2022

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Picture of a man biting his fingernails and looking extremely worried.

Photo credit: Man photo created by asier_relampagoestudio - www.freepik.com.

Overheard: You worry too much!

“Do not worry too much - you will create a problem that was not even there in the first place!” -Author Unknown

Every life has some trouble
     When you worry you make it double.
-Bobby McFerrin (born 1950)

“‘Each day has troubles enough of its own,’ so why anticipate them? If we do, we double them. For if our fear does not materialize, we have worried once for nothing; if it does materialize, we have worried twice instead of once. In both cases, it is foolish; worry doubles trouble.” -John R. W. Stott

“If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine.” -Morris West (Morris Langlo West (1916 - 1999))

A Worry

A worry crept into a mind,
Leaving claw marks and gashes behind.
     It turned the mind blue
     As it twisted each screw
Then it chuckled, and left, with a grind.

by Author Unknown

“Let us be of good cheer, however, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those which never come.” -James Russell Lowell (1819 - 1891): “Democracy” (1887)

“A worry a day drains the vitality away.” -Author Unknown

“Worry is a form of fear, and all forms of fear produce fatigue. A man who has learned not to feel fear will find the fatigue of daily life enormously diminished.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

If you’re worried and you can’t sleep,
Just count your blessings instead of sheep,
And you’ll fall asleep counting your blessings.
-Irving Berlin (1888 - 1989): “Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep” (1954); type of work: song

“Our worst misfortunes never happen, and most miseries lie in anticipation.” -Honoré de Balzac (1799 - 1850)

“Never borrow sorrow from tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“We experience moments absolutely free from worry. These brief respites are called panic.” -Cullen Hightower

“Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.” -Author Unknown

“Stop worrying . . . and start making jokes!” -Author Unknown

My Worry

A little bitty worry
     Started early in the day;
By noon it seemed my worry
     Hovered, standing in my way;
The things and thoughts
     I should have had
Got buried in my mind,
     Until my little worry turned
Into the horrid kind.
     By bedtime I was frantic -
What to do, oh what to do!
     And then I couldn’t go to sleep,
For worrying - fretting, too.
     By morning I was almost sick,
When suddenly and soon,
     My worry had been all worked out
Before the toll of noon;
     Then I looked back
And saw my worry
     Just for what it was -
A thing that didn’t happen,
     As a worry seldom does.

by Bonnie Daisy Nelson: as published in “A Garden of Poems” from the Salesian Collection

“I have learned to live each day as it comes, and not to borrow trouble by dreading tomorrow. It is the dark menace of the future that makes cowards of us.” -Dorothy Dix (1861 - 1951): “Dorothy Dix, Her Book,” ‘Introduction’

“Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning.” -Winston Churchill (Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill (1874 - 1965))

“Worry is today’s mice nibbling on tomorrow’s cheese.” -Author Unknown

“We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.” -Ethel Barrett (1913 - 1998)

“Let not your heart be troubled.” -John: as quoted in “The Bible” (King James Version (1611)), ‘The Gospel According to John,’ chapter 14, verse 1

“Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.” -Eckhart Tolle (pseudonym of Ulrich Leonard Tölle (born 1948))

Overheard: Don’t tell me worrying doesn’t do any good - I know better! Most of the things I worry about never happen.

“Meditate upon exile, torture, wars, diseases, shipwreck . . . so that you may not be a novice to any misfortune.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“When you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.” -Shannon L. Alder at https://www.shannonalder.com/

“Worrying takes up just as much time as work, but work pays better dividends.” -Author Unknown

“People spend most of their lives worrying about things that never happen.” -Jean Molière (pseudonym of Jean-Baptiste Poquelin (1622 - 1673))

“My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)): “Essais” (“Essays”) (1595), Book 3, chapter 1

“The most pleasant and useful persons are those who leave some of the problems of the Universe for God to worry about.” -Don Marquis (1878 - 1937)

“Wringing your hands only stops you from rolling up your sleeves.” -James Rollins

“Happy is the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying once and for all.” -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17))

“Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace.” - Author Unknown

“The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Some of today’s worries are like puddles: tomorrow they will have evaporated.” -Author Unknown

“Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.” -Author Unknown: Swedish proverb

“A day of worry is more exhausting than a week of work.” -John Lubbock (1834 - 1913): “The Use of Life” (1894)

“A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.” -Harold Stephens (born 1926)

“Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime, and too sleepy to worry at night.” -Leo Aikman (James Leo Aikman (1908 - 1978))

“Worry: Mountain climbing over molehills.” -Author Unknown

“If you’re overwhelmed by thinking of all there is to be done, stop thinking about it so much and start working on it.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t let your worries get the best of you. Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.” -Author Unknown

Worry

Worry is a futile thing,
     It’s somewhat like a rocking chair;
Although it keeps you occupied,
     It doesn’t get you anywhere.

by Author Unknown

“It only seems as if you’re doing something when you worry.” -Lucy Maud Montgomery (1874 - 1942)

“Worry takes as much time as work and pays less.” -Author Unknown

“Nothing wastes more energy than worrying. The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it becomes. Don’t take life too seriously. Live a life full of serenity, not of regrets.” -Douglas Pagels (born 1950)

“You can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.” -Janis Joplin (1943 - 1970)

“How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” (1948) is a self-help book by Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955))). Mr. Carnegie wrote in the preface of the book that he wrote it because he “was one of the unhappiest lads in New York.” He said that he made himself sick with worry because he hated his position in life. The goal of the book is to lead the reader to a more enjoyable and fulfilling life, helping them to become more aware of not only themselves, but of others around them. Mr. Carnegie addresses the everyday nuances of living, in order to get the reader to focus on the larger canvas of life. Available in print or e-reader version from your favorite book seller.

“The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.” -Wayne Dyer (born 1940)

“A man ninety years old was asked to what he attributed his longevity. ‘I reckon,’ he said with a twinkle in his eye, ‘It’s because most nights I went to bed and slept when I should have sat up and worried.’” -Dorothea Kent (1916 - 1990)

“Worry is an unhealthy and destructive mental habit.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” -Epictetus (C.E. 55 - C.E. 135)

“Worry never accomplishes anything. When you have a problem, it is best to concentrate on the solution to that problem, not the problem itself.” -Thomas D. Willhite (Thomas Dale Willhite (1940 - 1983))

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Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

So do not worry, saying, “What shall we eat?” or “What shall we drink?” or “What shall we wear?” For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

by Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Matthew,’ chapter 6, verses 25 through 34

L i v e ☆ L e a r n ☼ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ L o v e ツ L a u g h

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.” -Corrie ten Boom (Cornelia ‘Corrie’ ten Boom (1892 - 1983)): “Clippings from my Notebook” (1982)

“To worry about tomorrow is to be unhappy today.” -Author Unknown

“Worrying is silly - it is like walking around with an umbrella, waiting for it to rain.” -Author Unknown

How can you make the ‘Worry List’ you carry in your head a little shorter?

“Never bear more than one trouble at a time. Some people bear three kinds - all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have.” -Edward Everett Hale (1822 - 1909)

“In order to be done in a useful manner, worrying must be done quickly and then completely gotten over with. Worrying is a natural trait that helps us to figure out if there is something that needs to be done so that we can then do it, and if not, then stop worrying and get on with the daily activities and the great adventure of life!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“You can’t change the past, but you can a ruin a perfectly good present worrying about the future.” -Author Unknown

“Worry is like riding a roller coaster. It scares the wits out of you, and you always end up right where you started.” -Author Unknown

“What if we knew for certain that everything we’re worried about today will work out fine? What if . . . we knew the future was going to be good, and we would have an abundance of resources and guidance to handle whatever comes our way? What if . . . we knew everything was okay, and we didn’t have to worry about a thing? What would we do then? We’d be free to let go and enjoy life.” -Melody Beattie: “The Language of Letting Go”

“Worry is a cycle of inefficient thoughts whirling around a center of fear.” -Corrie ten Boom (Cornelia ‘Corrie’ ten Boom (1892 - 1983))

“If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will overlook what is.” -Author Unknown

“Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. All it does is steal your joy and keep you busy doing nothing.” -Author Unknown

“It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge an elephant, but we can’t dodge a fly.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))

“Don’t fill your head with worries. There won’t be room for anything else.” -Author Unknown

“Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.” -Mary Hemingway (1908 - 1986)

“Show me a worrying person and I will show you a person who does not know how to relax.” -Albert E. Cliffe (Albert Edward Cliffe (1892 - 1954))

“Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep always in the sunlight.” -Benjamin Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790))

“Worrying is like wishing for something that you do not want.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I’ve got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I’m stressing about for absolutely no logical reason.” -Author Unknown

I was early taught to work as well as play,
My life has been one long, happy holiday;
Full of work and full of play -
I dropped the worry on the way -
And God was good to me every day.
-John Davison Rockefeller, Senior (1839 - 1937): verses written on his eighty-sixth birthday (8 July 1925)

“All worry is your imagination. Why not use your imagination to explore happier options?” -Marta Davidovich Ockuly (born 1952) at www.JoyOfQuotes.com

At MFOL! we are worried that we might be taken seriously . . . okay, that’s enough worrying for one day . . . now let’s have fun or do work . . . whatever prevents worry from taking over . . .

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Problems and Solutions

3/21/2022

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Picture of an oyster shell with a pearl inside it.

Oysters have an elegant solution to a problem. When a grain of sand gets inside their shells, they respond by coating the irritant in a layer of the material that lines their shells, commonly referred to as ‘mother-of-pearl.’ After repeated coatings, the result is a shiny round object called a pearl. The problem is an irritant such as a grain of sand, and the solution is a pearl. Can oysters teach us how to solve problems?

“I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))

“Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.” -Maya Angelou (born Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

“The best angle to approach a problem is from the try angle.” -Author Unknown

“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.” -Duke Ellington (Edward Kennedy ‘Duke’ Ellington (1899 - 1974))

“A problem well stated is a problem half-solved.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“What a pity human beings can’t exchange problems. Everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellow’s.” -Olin Miller (1918 - 2002)

“The problems we face are human problems and therefore are capable of human solutions.” -Frederick Moore Vinson

“People who believe a problem can be solved tend to get busy solving it.” -William Raspberry

“Every big problem was at one time a wee little disturbance.” -Author Unknown

“The easiest way to solve a problem is to pick an easy one.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980))

“The world’s biggest problems are the world’s biggest business opportunities.” -Peter Diamandis

Overheard: Everything is figureoutable.

“When obstacles or difficulties arise, the positive thinker takes them as creative opportunities. He welcomes the challenge of a tough problem and looks for ways to turn it to advantage.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993): “Have a Great Day” (1986), page 2

“All life is problem solving.” -Karl Popper (1902 - 1994)

“I’ve yet to see any problem, however complicated, which when you looked at it the right way didn’t become still more complicated.” -Poul Anderson (Poul William Anderson (1926 - 2001)): ‘Call Me Joe’ novelette published in “Astounding Science Fiction” (April 1957) magazine

“A feeling of confidence and personal power comes from facing challenges and overcoming them.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“. . . so it will be forever; that after every storm the Sun will smile, for every problem there is a solution, and that the soul’s indefeasible duty is to be of good cheer . . .” -William R. Alger (William Rounseville Alger (1822 - 1905)): “The School of Life” (1881), ‘Lesson of Faith,’ page 71

“Problems are the price of success.” -Branch Rickey (Wesley Branch ‘Branch’ Rickey (1881 - 1965))

“It’s not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.” -Ashleigh Brilliant (Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant (born 1933)): as quoted in “Reader’s Digest” magazine

“It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it.” -John Steinbeck (John Ernst Steinbeck, Junior (1902 - 1968))

“No problem can be solved until it is reduced to some simple form. The changing of a vague difficulty into a specific, concrete form is a very essential element in thinking.” -J. P. Morgan (John Pierpont ‘J. P.’ Morgan (1837 - 1913))

“There are as many solutions as there are human beings.” -George Tooker (George Clair Tooker, Junior (1920 - 2011))

“It is no good getting furious if you get stuck. What I do is keep thinking about the problem but work on something else. Sometimes it is years before I see the way forward. In the case of information loss and black holes, it was 29 years.” -Stephen Hawking (Stephen William Hawking (1942 - 2018))

“The one common challenge of all humanity is the challenge of problems.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“After every difficulty, ask yourself two questions: ‘What did I do right?’ and ‘What would I do differently?’” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys.” -Rita Schiano

“Your problems aren’t going to solve themselves, you know.” -Author Unknown

“‘We have a problem.’ ‘Congratulations.’ ‘But it’s a tough problem.’ ‘Then double congratulations.’” -W. Clement Stone (William Clement Stone (1902 - 2002))

“Focus on remedies, not faults.” -Jack Nicklaus (Jack William Nicklaus (born 1940))

“Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” -Joshua J. Marine

“This problem, too, will look simple after it is solved.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“We will find the solution . . . together.” -Author Unknown

“All problems become smaller if you don’t dodge them, but confront them.” -William F. Halsey (William Frederick ‘Bull’ Halsey, Junior (1882 - 1959))

“You are the only problem you will ever have and you are the only solution.” -Bob Proctor (born 1934)

“Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.” -René Descartes (1596 - 1650): “Discours de la Methode” (1637)

Picture of a chalkboard with words written in chalk, ‘Problems, Solutions,’ and the word ‘Problems’ having a line drawn through it to cross it out.

“Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.” -Earl Shoaff (John Earl Shoaff (1916 - 1965))

“I don’t have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.” -Ashleigh Brilliant (Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant (born 1933))

“The biggest problem in the world could have been solved when it was small.” -Witter Bynner (Harold ‘Witter’ Bynner (1881 - 1968))

“The best way to forget your own problems is to help someone else solve theirs.” -Author Unknown

“Nobody, as long as he moves among the chaotic currents of life, is without trouble.” -C. G. Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961))

“An expert problem solver must be endowed with two incompatible qualities - a restless imagination and a patient pertinacity.” -Howard W. Eves (Howard Whitley Eves (1911 - 2004))

“A small trouble is like a pebble. Hold it too close to your eye, and it puts everything out of focus. Hold it at proper viewing distance, and it can be examined and classified. Throw it at your feet, and it can be seen in its true setting, just one more tiny bump on the pathway to eternity.” -Celia Luce (Celia Larsen Luce (1914 - 2008))

“Beset by a difficult problem? Now is your chance to shine. Pick yourself up, get to work, and get triumphantly through it.” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955))

“There are no problems, just challenges.” -Author Unknown

“I’ve never seen a problem that was solved by only complaining about it.” -Steve Keating (Stephen F. Keating (1918 - 2001))

“To solve a problem, walk around.” [translation to English]
“Solvitur ambulando.” [original Latin]
-Jerome (also known as Eusebius Sophronius Hieronymus (about C.E. 347 - C.E. 420))

“Avoid problems, and you’ll never be the one who overcame them.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it.” -Alan Saporta (Alan H. Saporta (born 1943))

“Don’t tell me that this problem is difficult. If it wasn’t difficult, it wouldn’t be a problem.” [translation to English]
“Ne me dites pas que ce problème est difficile. S’il n’était pas difficile, ce ne serait pas un problème.” [original French]
-Ferdinand Foch (Ferdinand Jean Marie Foch (1851 - 1929))

“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” -Theodore Rubin (Theodore Isaac Rubin (born 1923))

Overheard: All of the easy problems have already been solved.

“Discovery of a solution consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else and thinking something different.” -Albert Szent-Györgyi (1893 - 1986)

“A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talked to each other instead of about each other.” -Author Unknown

“When I am working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“It’s good to remember that the tea kettle, although up to its neck in hot water, continues to sing.” -Author Unknown

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as unsolvable problems.” -John W. Gardner (John William Gardner (1912 - 2002))

“When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail.” -Abraham Maslow (Abraham Harold Maslow (1908 - 1970)): “The Psychology of Science” (1966)

“Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.” -Henry J. Kaiser (Henry John Kaiser (1882 - 1967))

“Focus on the solution, not the problem.” -Walter Anderson (born 1944)

“It isn’t that they can’t see the solution. It is that they can’t see the problem.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936))

“Nothing lasts forever - not even your troubles.” -Arnold Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“No problem is so complicated that you cannot make it more complicated.” -Andy Grove (Andrew Stephen ‘Andy’ Grove (1936 - 2016))

“There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. We seek out problems because we need their gifts.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.” -Denis Waitley (born 1933)

“There is a remedy for everything, could men find it.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in George Herbert (1593 - 1633): “Jacula Prudentum; or Outlandish Proverbs, Sentences, &c. Selected by Mr. George Herbert” (1651)

“Whenever we have a really difficult or impossible problem in life, we should take it to a math teacher. As you may remember from school, math teachers are good at giving problems to us, and they are good at showing us how to solve them, as well.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“The issue is not that our problems are too big but that our imaginations are too small.” -Marianne Williamson (born 1952)

“It often happens that I wake at night and begin to think about a serious problem and decide I must tell the Pope about it. Then I wake up completely and remember that I am the Pope.” -Pope John XXIII (born Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli (1881 - 1963))

“Problems are to the mind what exercise is to the muscles, they toughen and make strong.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.” -Alan Watts (Alan Wilson Watts (1915 - 1973))

“The first requisite for success is the ability to apply your physical and mental energies to one problem incessantly without growing weary.” -Herbert Spencer (1820 - 1903)

“The ‘how’ thinker gets problems solved effectively because he wastes no time with futile ‘ifs.’” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“I am so grateful for my troubles. As I reflect back on my life, I have come to realize that my greatest triumphs have been born of my greatest troubles.” -Steve Maraboli (born 1975): “Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience” (2013)

“Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.” -Theodore N. Vail (Theodore Newton Vail (1845 - 1920))

“No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“The first step towards the solution of any problem is optimism.” -John Baines

“There is an awful lot that is wrong with the world, so we had better get started on fixing it right now if we are going to be finished before bedtime.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Never make troubles of trifles.” -Author Unknown

“Trouble is My Business.” -Raymond Chandler (1888 - 1959): title of article in “Dime Detective Magazine” (August 1939), and the credo of his fictional detective Philip Marlowe

“Every problem is a questions that asks, ‘How can you best handle me?’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Creativity can solve almost any problem. The creative act, the defeat of habit by originality, overcomes everything.” -George Lois

“Do not be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.” -Author Unknown

“For any problem, no matter how big or complex it may be, there is a solution.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989): “Business Life: 2 Amazing Ways to Solve Your Problems” (2015)

“The most important thing to do in solving a problem is to begin.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

We are MFOL! . . . may all of your problems be funny ones . . . and may all of your solutions be fun . . .

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Wisdom and Advice

3/14/2022

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Picture of a field of yellow flowering plants with snow-covered mountains in the distance, a blue sky with fluffy white clouds above, and a green leafy tree in the field, with the words, ‘What matters most are quotations and sayings that tell you what life is really about . . .,’ and the words, ‘. . . and this is a tree,’ next to the tree, and finally the words, ‘Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net’

“Dream big, work hard, stay focused, and surround yourself with good people.” -Author Unknown

“Be excellent to each other!” -Author Unknown: “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” (1989) movie

“Pursue worthy aims.” -Solon (636 B.C.E. - 558 B.C.E.)

Be kind, but don’t let people abuse you.
Trust, but don’t be deceived.
Be content, but never stop improving yourself.
-Author Unknown

“Don’t ever let anyone dull your sparkle.” -Author Unknown

“If you would know the road ahead, ask someone who has traveled it.” -Author Unknown

“Life is too important to be taken seriously.” -Author Unknown

“Keep five yards from a carriage, ten yards from a horse, and a hundred yards from an elephant. But the distance one should keep from a wicked man cannot be measured.” -Author Unknown: Indian proverb

“Be good to yourself so that you can above all be good to others.” -Jessi Lane Adams (pseudonym of Terri Guillemets (born 1973))

“Three things it is best to avoid: a strange dog, a flood, and a man who thinks he is wise.” -Author Unknown: Welsh proverb

“What cannot be helped must be endured.” -Author Unknown: “Rob Roy” (7 April 1995) movie; words spoken by fictional character Mary MacGregor

L i v e ☆ L e a r n ☼ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ L o v e ツ L a u g h

The Way

Cocks crow in the morn
     To tell us to rise,
And he who lies late
     Will never be wise.

For early to bed
     And early to rise
Is the way to be healthy,
     And wealthy, and wise.

by Author Unknown

L i v e ☆ L e a r n ☼ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ L o v e ツ L a u g h
“Keep trying. Stay humble. Trust your instincts. Most importantly, act. When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” -Yogi Berra (Lawrence Peter ‘Yogi’ Berra (1925 - 2015))

“Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.” -Author Unknown

“Wisdom: Common sense in an uncommon degree.” -Author Unknown

“Whoever said sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t eat anything you shouldn’t.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I give myself, sometimes, admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it.” -Mary Wortley Montagu (1689 - 1762)

“Spend time with those you love, because one of these days you will say either, ‘I wish I had,’ or, ‘I’m glad I did.’” -Author Unknown

“How you spend your time is more important than how you spend your money. Money mistakes can be corrected, but misspent time is gone forever.” -Author Unknown

“Whatever advice you give, be brief.” -Quintus Horatius Flaccus (also known simply as Horace (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.))

“You must get good at one of two things: planting in the Spring or begging in the Fall.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“The words you speak today should be soft and tender . . . for tomorrow you may have to eat them.” -Author Unknown

“It is traditional on these occasions for me to give you a bit of advice, which you will equally traditionally ignore.” -Philip Mountbatten (also known as Prince Philip (born 1921))

“Don’t ever slam a door; you might want to go back.” -Author Unknown

“He who seeks wisdom is a wise man; he who thinks he has found it is mad.” -Lucius Annaeus Seneca (also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“Wise people carry their possessions within them.” -Author Unknown

“We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“A mountain shames a molehill until both are humbled by the stars.” -Author Unknown: proverb

“One day you’ll just be a memory to some people. Do your best to be a good one.” -Author Unknown

“Few persons have good enough sight to see their own faults.” -Author Unknown

“It’s possible to own too much. A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never quite sure.” -Lee Segall

“Don’t trust advice from a person who’s in trouble.” -Author Unknown

Accept a proverb out of Wisdom’s schools -
“Barbers first learn to shave by shaving fools.”
-John Wolcot (1738 - 1819): “Works” (1792)

“Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold - but so does a hard-boiled egg.” -Author Unknown

“A wise word is not a substitute for a piece of herring.” -Sholom Aleichem (pseudonym of Solomon Naumovich Rabinovich (1859 - 1916))

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction.” -Author Unknown

“The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on; it is never of any use to oneself.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

“Remember, it’s not the fall that hurts you; it’s the stop at the end.” -Author Unknown

“My parents told me, ‘Finish your dinner. People in China and India are starving.’ I tell my daughters, ‘Finish your homework. People in India and China are starving for your job.’” -Thomas Friedman

“Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.” -Barry LePatner (Barry Bruce LePatner (born 1947))

“If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.” -Author Unknown

Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone.
Don’t worry about the future, it hasn’t arrived.
Live in the present, and make it beautiful.
-Author Unknown

“Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child.” -Ron Wild

“The first step toward madness is to think oneself wise.” -Fernando de Rojas

Enjoy yourself,
It’s later than you think.
-Herb Magidson (1906 - 1986): “Enjoy Yourself” (1950) song

“Work hard, dress well, and be nice to people.” -Author Unknown

“Wise sayings often fall on barren ground; but a kind word is never thrown away.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875)

The road to wisdom?
Well it’s plain and simple to express:
Err and err and err again
but less and less and less.
-Piet Hein (1905 - 1996)

“No man is wise enough by himself.” -Plautus (Titus Maccius Plautus (254 B.C.E. - 184 B.C.E.))

“Rise with the Sun and go to bed with the chickens.” -Author Unknown

“Many receive advice; only the wise profit from it.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“If I could only give three words of advice, they would be, ‘Tell the truth.’ If I got three more words, I’d add, ‘All the time.’” -Randy Pausch (Randolph Frederick ‘Randy’ Pausch (1960 - 2008))

“It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.” -Aeschylus (525 B.C.E. - 456 B.C.E.)

“You will always find some Eskimos ready to instruct the Congolese on how to cope with heat waves.” -Stanislaw Jerzy Lec (1909 - 1966): “Unkempt Thoughts” (1957)

“Be wise to-day; ’tis madness to defer.” -Edward Young (1683 - 1765): “Night Thoughts,” ‘Night’ Part 1, line 390

“The surest sign of wisdom is constant cheerfulness.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592))

“Don’t throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.” -Author Unknown: Swedish proverb

“Colors fade, temples crumble, empires fall, but wise words endure.” -Edward Thorndike (Edward Lee Thorndike (1874 - 1949))

“Be such a man, and live such a life, that if every man were such as you, and every life a life like yours, this Earth would be God’s Paradise.” -Phillips Brooks (1835 - 1893)

“The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right. That has been my secret, and I have never had any quarrels.” -Hannah Whitall Smith (1832 - 1911): as quoted in Logan Pearsall Smith, editor: “Philadelphia Quaker: The Letters of Hannah Whitall Smith” (1950), page 146

“Who lives without folly is not as wise as he thinks.” [translation to English]
“Qui vit sans folie n’est pas si sage qu’il croit.” [original French]
-François de La Rochefoucauld (also known as François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)): “Reflections; or Sentences and Moral Maxims” (1665 - 1678), Maxim 209

“Charity gives itself rich; greed hoards itself poor.” -Author Unknown: German proverb

“We all admire the wisdom of people who come to us for advice.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875)

“Speak your mind but ride a fast horse.” -Author Unknown

“If a man loves to give advice, it is a sure sign that he himself wants it.” -George Savile (also known as Lord Halifax (1633 - 1695))

“If I wanted to become a tramp, I would seek information and advice from the most successful tramp I could find. If I wanted to become a failure, I would seek advice from men who have never succeeded. If I wanted to succeed in all things, I would look around me for those who are succeeding, and do as they have done.” -Joseph Marshall Wade (1832 - 1905)

“No man was ever wise by chance.” [translation to English]
“Nulli sapere casu obtigit.” [original Latin]
-Lucius Annaeus Seneca (also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.” -Tobias Smollett (Tobias George Smollett (1721 - 1771))

“Wisdom is the sunlight of the soul.” -Author Unknown

“It’s a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.” -Author Unknown

“Who is a wise man? He who learns of all men.” -Author Unknown

“Wisdom is to live in the present, plan for the future, and profit from the past.” -Author Unknown

Good Advice

Don’t shirk
     Your work
For the sake
     Of a dream;
A fish
     In the dish
Is worth ten
     In the stream.

by Author Unknown

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” -Robert Brault (born 1938)

“Never take the advice of someone who has not had your kind of trouble.” -Sydney J. Harris (Sydney Justin Harris (1917 - 1986))

“Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind.” -Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834)

“As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.” -Andrew Carnegie (1835 - 1919)

Keep your eye on the ball.
Keep your shoulder to the wheel.
Keep your nose to the grindstone.
Now try to work in that position.
-Author Unknown

“Enjoy yourself. These are the good old days you’re going to miss in the years ahead.” -Author Unknown

“The wisest man is he who does not fancy that he is so at all.” -Nicolas Boileau-Despréaux (1636 - 1711)

“Seek advice but use your own common sense.” -Author Unknown: Yiddish proverb

“The mintage of wisdom is to know that rest is rust, and that real life is in love, laughter, and work.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.” -Author Unknown

“Whatever you are, try to be a good one.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1853): as quoted in Laurence Hutton: “A Boy I Knew and Four Dogs” (1898) autobiography

This is MFOL! . . . encouraging you to get out, be active, meet people, sing, dance, and talk up a storm with thunder in your voice . . .

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Past-Dwelling and Living in the Past

3/7/2022

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Picture of a man looking behind him, and a concrete wall in the background.

“Only look back to see how far you’ve come.” -Author Unknown

“If you let go of the past, it no longer has a hold on you.” -Author Unknown

“Do not look back; if Cinderella had gone back to pick up her shoe, she would never have become a princess.” -Author Unknown

“Never let yesterday use up too much of today.” -Will Rogers (William Penn Adair ‘Will’ Rogers (1879 - 1935))

“It’s no use to go back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” (1865)

“Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.” -Candace Bushnell

“If you’re yearning for the good old days, just turn off the air conditioning.” -Griff Niblack

“Examine the past, but don’t live in it.” -Author Unknown

“The Ogle Fish swims everywhere backwards, because it is only interested in seeing where it has already been.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest, that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.” -Jan Glidewell (James Janis ‘Jan’ Glidewell (1944 - 2013))

“I live in the past because it’s cheaper there.” -Author Unknown

“Remember, you can’t reach for what’s in front of you, until you let go of what’s behind you.” -Author Unknown

“Too much looking backward . . . is bad for progress.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887)

“There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book, or simply close it.” -Shannon L. Alder

“When you’re too caught up in what happened in the past, you miss what’s right in front of you.” -Author Unknown

“It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.” -Paulo Coelho

“The past should be a springboard, not a hammock.” -Irving Ball

“It’s but little good you’ll do a-watering the last year’s crop.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans, possibly also known as Marian Evans Cross (1819 - 1880)): “Adam Bede” (1859)

“Move forward, don’t look back, just forget the past.” -Author Unknown

Aaron: How many past-dwellers does it take to change a light bulb?
Erin: Four. One to change the bulb and three to reminisce about how good the old burned-out, broken light bulb was.

“The mill cannot grind with water that’s past.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in George Herbert (1593 - 1633): “Jacula Prudentum; or Outlandish Proverbs, Sentences, &c. Selected by Mr. George Herbert” (1651), proverb 153

Sign reading, ‘Don’t Look Back,’ with the two letter o’s in the word ‘look’ replaced with eyes looking in a backward direction.

“Don’t look back. You’re not going that way.” -Author Unknown

“Life goes on whether you choose to move on and take a chance in the unknown or stay behind, locked in the past, thinking of what could’ve been. I don’t want to live in the past anymore. I’m so lonely here, there’s nothing for me here anymore.” -Stephanie Smith: “Wherever You Will Go” (7 August 2014)

“We can draw lessons from the past, but we cannot live in it.” -Lyndon B. Johnson (Lyndon Baines Johnson (1908 - 1973))

“The longer you live in the past, the less future you have to enjoy.” -Author Unknown

“We should not look back unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors, and for the purpose of profiting by dearly bought experience.” -Author Unknown

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The Good Old Days

“In my day, we couldn’t afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In the Winter we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.” -Bill Flavin

“In my day, we didn’t have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.” -Sarah M. Wolford

“In my day, we didn’t have days. There was only ‘time for work,’ ‘time for prayer,’ and ‘time for sleep.’ The sheriff would go around and tell everyone when to change.” -Elden Carnahan

“In my day, we didn’t have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.” -Diana Hugue

by Author Unknown: as published in the “Washington Post” (about 1997) newspaper, in a contest on the subject of the difficulties of the good old days

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“The past is a great place, and I don’t want to erase it or to regret it, but I don’t want to be its prisoner either.” -Mick Jagger

“Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

“When setting priorities, going forward is likely to be more important than looking back.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“How many people long for that ‘past, simpler, and better world,’ I wonder, without ever recognizing the truth that perhaps it was they who were simpler and better, and not the world about them?” -R. A. Salvatore

“There is no past that we can bring back by longing for it.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“That which is past is gone and irrevocable, and wise men have enough to do with things present and to come.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): “Essays” (1597)

“For those who live in the past, there is no future.” -Author Unknown

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.” -Hermann Hesse

“The past is to learn from and not to live in.” -Richard L. Evans (Richard Louis Evans (1906 - 1971))

“The more we look backwards, the less we will be able to see forward.” -Author Unknown

“You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“If you are still talking about what you did yesterday, you haven’t done much today.” -Author Unknown

“The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post.” -L. Thomas Holdcroft (Leslie Thomas ‘Les’ Holdcroft (1922 - 2018))

“A Retrosaurus is a backward-looking dinosaur, which is why we do not find its kind anymore in our world.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Nothing has ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now; and if the past cannot prevent you from being present now, what power does it have?” -Eckhart Tolle (born 1948 as Ulrich Leonard Tölle)

“When we cling to the past, we become unavailable in the present.” -Author Unknown

“Look not mournfully into the Past, it comes not back again. Wisely improve the Present, it is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy Future without fear and with a manly heart.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

“Stop living backwards while the world continues to move forward.” -Roger Lee

“Life goes on . . . Whether you choose to move on and take a chance in the unknown . . . Or stay behind, locked in the past, thinking of what could’ve been.” -Author Unknown

“Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.” -Byrd Baggett

“Living in the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back strains the neck muscles, causes you to bump into people not going your way.” -Edna Ferber (1885 - 1968)

“Don’t look back - that’s not where your future is.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Past-Dwelling and Past-Dwellers Quiz
- What does it mean when a person is said to be dwelling in the past?
- What is the difference between dwelling in the past and reminiscing?
- What harm can it do to dwell in the past?
- How can a person stop dwelling in the past, start living in the present, and start working and planning for the future?

“It’s okay to look back at the past. Just don’t stare.” -Benjamin Dover

“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” -Author Unknown

“Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays.” -Persius (Aulus Persius Flaccus (C.E. 34 - C.E. 62))

“Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.” -Lyndon B. Johnson (Lyndon Baines Johnson (1908 - 1973))

“It is not possible to go forward while looking back.” -Ludwig Mies van der Rohe (1886 - 1969)

“That’s like, so five minutes ago . . .” -Author Unknown

“When you focus on what might have been, it gets in the way of what can be.” -Patricia Fripp

“Never live in the past, but always learn from it.” -Author Unknown

“Looking back gives you regrets. Looking ahead gives you opportunities.” -Author Unknown

“One of the reasons people hold onto the past is because they don’t like their life in the now. You can keep the memories close to your heart, but you must let go of longings in order to plan a better life ahead of you.” -Brigitte Nicole

“When you finally let go of the past, something better comes along.” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . and we are looking forward to what is coming next . . .

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Road Crossings

3/1/2022

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Picture of a chicken crossing a road and the words, ‘Why did the chicken cross the road? Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

A chicken crossing the road is ‘poultry in motion.’ But why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it sort of happened this way . . .

Carla: Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?
Marlene: She wanted to stretch her legs.

Jane: Why did the goose cross the road?
Jillian: Because the light was green.

Gregory: Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
Megan: Because it ran out of juice.

Stop, Look, and Listen

I stop, I look, I listen,
Before I cross the street.
     I use my eyes,
     I use my ears,
And then,
     I use my feet!

by Author Unknown

Gladys: How do you avoid that rundown feeling?
Clementine: Always look both ways before crossing the road!

Austin: How did the egg cross the road?
Ozzie: It scrambled across.

Margaret: Why did the bad speller cross the road?
Margery: Too get two the other side.

Ticket Against Jaywalking Chicken. Ridgecrest, California: A chicken that got a ticket for crossing the road has clawed his way out of it. The $54 (RM205.20) citation for impeding traffic was dismissed after Linc and Helena Moore’s attorney argued that the fowl was domesticated and could not be charged as livestock. State law restricts livestock on highways, but not domestic animals. The chicken was ticketed on 26 March for impeding traffic after it wandered onto a road in Johannesburg, a rural mining town southeast of Ridgecrest. -AP

Octavius: Why did the frog hop across the road?
Augustus: To see what the chicken was doing!

Patrice: Why did it take so long for the elephant to cross the road?
Tricia: Because the chicken had trouble carrying him.

Bobby: Why did the cat cross the road?
Darin: The chicken had to take a day off to rest after carrying the elephant across.

Artemus: Why couldn’t the hyena cross the road?
Gordon: He was too busy laughing himself silly at that last joke.

Karl: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of ‘crossing’ was encoded into the objects ‘chicken’ and ‘road,’ and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

Wilbur: Did you hear about the two kangaroos that crossed the road?
Orville: Yes, they jumped into each other’s pouches and were never seen again.

Timmy: Why did the raccoon cross the road?
Tammy: Because she was chasing the chicken.

Earl: Why did the procrastinator cross the road?
Lee: Because it was supposed to have been done two months ago!

Barbara: Why did the chicken cross the amusement park?
Candace: To get to the other ride.

Boris: Why did the monster help the little old ghoul across the road?
Doris: Because that is what fiends are for.

Millicent: Why did the polar bear cross the road?
Lucinda: To show the alligator that it could be done.

Paul: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Saul: I don’t know
Paul: To get to your house!
. . . long awkward pause . . .
Paul: Knock, knock.
Saul: Who’s there?
Paul: It’s the chicken from the last joke!

Harpo Marx: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Groucho Marx: Chicken? What is all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost left him, but we needed the eggs!

Justin: Why did the cell cross the microscope?
Dustin: To get to the other slide.

Maryanne: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Gilligan: The traffic started getting rough, the chicken had to cross. If not for the plumage of its peerless tail, the chicken would be lost . . . The chicken would be lost!

Picture of a happy couple crossing a road and the words, ‘Why did the happy couple cross the road? Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Adrienne: Why did the happy couple cross the road?
Addie: So they could get their picture on www.MakeFunOfLife.net and be famous!

Bernard: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Leonard: Just for the fun of it!

Minerva: What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?
Minnie: Catching the chickens as they crossed the road.

First Lab Tech: Why did the function cross the road?
Second Lab Tech: Because it was defined on both sides and continuous.

Kimberly: Why did the rooster cross the road?
Kimmy: He wanted something to crow about.

Bernie: Why did the cows cross the road?
Bonnie: Because they are always on the moo-ve.

Percival: Why did the snake slither across the road?
Perry: To get to the other sss-sss-sss-side!

Henry David Thoreau: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ralph Waldo Emerson: The chicken did not merely cross the road - the chicken transcended it.

Artie: Why did the cookie cross the road?
Marty: To dunk itself in a glass of milk.

Curtis: Why did Captain Hook cross the road?
Howard: To get to the secondhand shop

Eudora: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Reuben: To get to the other side.

Agyrophobia, also called dromophobia, is a persistent fear of roads or of crossing roads. Even when no motor vehicles are present, some sufferers from this affliction still experience intense fear. Agyrophobia comes from the Greek words ‘gyrus’ meaning ‘turning’ or ‘whirling’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear,’ while dromophobia is derived from the Greek words ‘dromos’ meaning ‘running’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’ One of the things that could be said about the chicken that crossed the road is that he was not chicken to cross the road - and you should not be either.

Rhoda: Why did the penguin cross the road?
Ronda: Because the chicken owed it $5.

Tina: Why did the sheep cross the road?
Lena: To get to the baaa-baaa shop for a trim.

Doctor McCoy: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Captain James Tiberius Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Amy: Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Annie: She was trying to catch a boomerang.

Beatrice: Why did the pigs cross the road with their laundry?
Tricia: They wanted to do their hogwash.

Tabitha: Why did the rabbit cross the road?
Christina: To get to the hopping mall.

Buzz Aldrin: Have you heard that a chicken has finally crossed the road?
Neil Armstrong: That is one small step for a chicken . . . one giant leap for all poultry-kind.

Marv: Why did the shoe cross the road?
Irv: Because it’s on your foot.

Jesse: Why did the duck cross the road?
Bessie: To visit the chicken of course!

Jasper: Why did the chicken cross the internet?
Casper: To get to the Make Fun Of Life! Website at www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Nick: Why did the seal cross the road?
Vick: To get to the otter side.

Marcella: Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?
Marc: To get to the same side.

Siskel: I don’t know why the chickens crossed the road, but I loved it. Thumbs up!
Ebert: I disagree. The whole thing left the audience wondering; the chickens’ crossing the road was never clearly explained, and the chickens didn’t emote very well. Thumbs down.

George: Why did the comedian cross the road?
Jerry: To get to the punchline!

Hugh: Why did the horse cross the road?
Bert: He wanted to visit his neigh-bors.

Julian: Why did the turkey cross the road?
Jillian: To go, “Gobble, gobble! Gobble, gobble!” on the other side.

Picture of a snail crossing a wet asphalt road.

Shelby: Why did the snail cross the road?
Nellie: I don’t know, she hasn’t gotten there yet.

Phillip: Why did the monkey cross the road?
Ophelia: To show he was not chicken.

In Quitman, Georgia, United States of America, chickens are actually prohibited by law from crossing the road.

Petula: Why did the chicken nearly stop crossing the road?
Clark: It got tired of everyone making so many jokes!

Sonny: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Grandpa: In my day, we did not ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. And that chicken would have had to walk barefoot five miles in the snow just to get to that road, too. They just do not make chickens like that anymore!

Can’t get enough of “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Here are a few more: Because . . . the pedestrian sign was flashing “WALK” and the road was clear of moving vehicles; Farmer Brown was across the road calling out, “Here, chick-chick-chick, here, chick-chick-chick,” while tossing corn around on the ground; go ask your mother; go ask your father; to catch the “L” train; to try the new hot ‘n’ spicy bacon double cheeseburger; to catch the show; she had a bee in her bonnet; to take a closer look at the cow; to feather her nest; to see what was on the other side; because at the time it seemed like a good idea; the sky was falling; to catch a falling star; to buy a copy of the new horror novel “Chicken Soup for the Human Soul”; to try to look important; to make a new friend; she was lost and headed in the wrong direction; to try something new; they told her there was a ham sandwich in it for her; to escape global warming; to escape the coming ice age; she was a good and faithful friend; I’m listening; oh, I love you so much; what was the question again?; it’s a little complicated; the other chickens said it couldn’t be done; we would have to look at it from the chicken’s perspective; what was the question again?; she’d already been around the block; to see what she could see; it’s a bit of a mystery, isn’t it?; she knew she’d give the farmer nightmares for years to come; another chicken gave her an odd look; I can’t comment on an ongoing investigation; why don’t we go find out; she was certainly a funny bird, that one; truth be told, nobody really knows . . .

Mitchell: Why did the turtle cross the road?
Shelia: To get to the shell station.

Arlene: What happened when the skunks argued while crossing the road?
Aileen: They raised a big stink.

Eunice: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Eustice: Because the other chickens egged her on.

Tips for Safely Crossing Roads
- Stop, look, and listen.
- Wait until the signal shows “WALK” or a human figure lights up.
- Hold hands and stay together.
- Always look both ways before crossing the road.
- Look left, then right, then left again.
- Stay in the crosswalk.
- Cross at intersections and do not cross at other places.
- Be aware that drivers sometimes drive when and where they should not because they are not good drivers.
- Can you think of other tips for safely crossing roads?

Silvia: Why did the dog cross the road?
Ingrid: To get to the barking lot.

Larry: Why did the kiwi fruit run across the road?
Lawrence: Because it was being chased by a pineapple.

Charlotte: Why did the ambitious man cross the road?
Shelly: Because he was chasing his dreams.

Road Crossings Quiz: Who Am I?
1. I waddle across the road.
2. I bounce or roll across the road.
3. I inch across the road.
4. I dribble across the road.
5. I flow across the road.

Lenny: Why did the scientist cross the road?
Squiggy: Centrifugal force.

Road Crossings Quiz Answers: Who Am I?
1. I am a duck and I waddle across the road.
2. I am a ball and I bounce or roll across the road.
3. I am an inchworm and I inch across the road.
4. I am a basketball player and I dribble a basketball across the road.
5. I am water and I flow across the road.

Chubby: Why did the fat man cross the road?
Tubby: To get some exercise.

Carl: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Claire: Because the early bird catches the worm!

Emily: Why did the spider cross the road?
Amelia: To get to its other web site.

One of the things that can be said about the chicken that crossed the road is that it was not chicken to cross the road - and you should not be either. Be courageous, and have new adventures every day, just like that little feathery chicken!

Mirabelle: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Mabelle: She was excited at the possibility of new adventures!

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Loneliness and Solitude

2/22/2022

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Sometimes being different can be lonely . . . if you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you are not alone in what you are experiencing . . . and yet, you are alone . . . so very, very alone . . .

“You call it being alone. I call it enjoying my own company.” -Author Unknown

“They are never alone that are accompanied with noble thoughts.” -Philip Sidney (1554 - 1586)

“I was never less alone than when by myself.” -Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794): “Memoir” (1796), Volume 1, page 117

“People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.” -Kim Culbertson: “The Liberation of Max McTrue” (3 January 2012) at https://kimculbertson.com/

Jered: Why are bananas never lonely?
Derek: Because they hang around in bunches!

“When they are alone they want to be with others, and when they are with others they want to be alone. After all, human beings are like that.” -Gertrude Stein (1874 - 1946)

Sometimes

Sometimes I like to be alone
And look up at the sky
And think my thoughts inside my head -
Just me, myself, and I.

by Mary Ann Hoberman (born 1930)

“In the silence of night I have often wished for just a few words of love from one man, rather than the applause of thousands of people.” -Judy Garland (pseudonym of Frances Ethel Gumm (1922 - 1969)): as quoted in Barbara Rowes: “The Book of Quotes” (1979)

“Dear sidewalk, please get wider. Sincerely, third friend walking behind feeling excluded.” -Author Unknown

“More than any other human problem, loneliness, the absence of meaningful human connection, drains the joy and sense of purpose from our lives. It explains why people go to shopping centers when they have no intention of shopping. They just need to be somewhere where other people are, hoping that among the hundreds of strangers passing by, they will find one familiar face. It explains why people come home from work or school and immediately switch on the television. They are not interested in the program much of the time, they do not even know what is on. But they are desperate for the sound of another human voice in their lives.” -Harold Kushner (Harold Samuel Kushner (born 1935))

“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

How to Deal with Loneliness
- Adopt a pet.
- Take up a hobby or a cause.
- Keep busy with whatever you can find to do.
- Help others or become a volunteer.
- Make friends of strangers.
- Go to places where other people go.
What can you add to this list?

“Although I am a typical loner in my daily life, my awareness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice has prevented me from feelings of isolation.” -Albert Einstein

“Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius.” -Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794)

“Loneliness is the way by which destiny endeavors to lead man to himself.” -Hermann Hesse (1877 - 1962): “Reflections” (1974), number 196

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” -Joseph F. Newton (Joseph Fort Newton (1878 - 1949))

“The pain of loneliness is normal, and is felt by everyone, and is nature’s way of telling us that we are meant to be with others of our own kind.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“It’s better to walk alone, than with a crowd going in the wrong direction.” -Diane Grant (born 1939)

“There is a French proverb: To live happy, live hidden. Where can Brigitte Bardot hide?” -Brigitte Bardot (born 1934)

“Grant me the ability to be alone, may it be my custom to go outdoors each day among the trees and grasses, among all growing things, and there may I be alone, and enter into prayer to talk with the one that I belong to.” -Nachman of Breslov (1772 - 1810)

“One can acquire everything in solitude - except character.” -Stendhal (pseudonym of Marie-Henri Beyle (1783 - 1842))

Picture of a man sitting on a park bench and working on a crossword puzzle, while a large white bird perched on the back of the bench near his shoulder looks quizzically to see what he is doing.

There are times when you want to be alone - but the world will not let you alone!

“I never said, ‘I want to be alone.’ I only said, ‘I want to be left alone.’ There is all the difference.” -Greta Garbo (Greta Lovisa Gustafsson (1905 - 1990))

A guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (a one-hundred-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for its house. He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to a restaurant to have a meal. “Would you like to go to Frank’s Diner with me and have a bite to eat?” he asked the centipede in the box. But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, “How about going out and having a snack with me?” But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time - this time putting his face up against the centipede’s house and shouting, he said, “Hey, in there! Would you like to go get some food with me?” A tiny little voice came squeaking out of the box in reply, “I heard you the first time! I’m putting on my shoes.”

“It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“I like to be alone, but I dislike being lonely.” -Author Unknown

“Loneliness is the most terrible poverty.” -Teresa of Calcutta (also known as Mother Teresa (born Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997)))

“Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.” -Paul Tournier (1898 - 1986)

“The difference between solitude and loneliness is the quality of the company we keep.” -Author Unknown

“No greater burden can be borne by an individual than to know none who cares or understands.” -Arthur H. Stainback (Arthur House Stainback (1909 - 1994))

“Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone.” -Jarod Kintz (born 1982)

“You keep a lot to yourself because it’s difficult to find people who understand.” -Author Unknown

“If I’m such a legend, why am I so lonely?” -Judy Garland (pseudonym of Frances Ethel Gumm (1922 - 1969))

“The finest hours of life are not those spent among groups of people, but in good conversation with a few, in reading good books, in listening to great music, wandering in a forest of giant Sequoias, peering into a microscope, unraveling Nature’s secrets in a laboratory. The men who have the most to give their fellow men are those who have enriched their minds and hearts in solitude. It is a poor education that does not fit a man to be alone with himself.” -Joel Henry Hildebrand (1881 - 1983)

“In a world full of people we are alone.” -Author Unknown

“Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self.” -May Sarton (pseudonym of Eleanore Marie Sarton (1912 - 1995))

“One form of loneliness is to have a memory and no one to share it with.” -Phyllis Rose (born 1942 as Phyllis Davidoff): ‘Hers’ article published in the “New York Times” (3 May 1984) newspaper, Section C, page 2

“Even in the presence of others he was completely alone.” -Robert M. Pirsig (Robert Maynard Pirsig (born 1928))

“The quiet and solitary man apprehends the inscrutable. He seeks nothing, holds to the mean, and remains free from entanglements.” -I Ching (B.C.E. 1150)

“The truth is that we all know something about loneliness, and that includes even those who might not know what they are feeling when they feel lonely.” -Author Unknown

“My husband, a forester, often has to consult property owners to determine boundary lines. Walking up a dirt road to question one such individual, he encountered signs reading, ‘No Trespassing,’ ‘Beware of Dog,’ and ‘Keep Out - This Means You!’ Finally, arriving at the door, he talked with the congenial, cooperative landowner. When my husband was ready to leave, the man said to him, ‘Come and see me again sometime. I don’t get many visitors up this way.’ The lesson is simple: Ask yourself, am I lonely because of the ‘messages’ I am sending out?” -Author Unknown

“The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness.” -Norman Cousins (1915 - 1990)

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“City life: Millions of people being lonesome together.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone.” -Henrik Ibsen (Henrik Johan ‘Henrik’ Ibsen (1828 - 1906))

“What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans, possibly also known as Marian Evans Cross (1819 - 1880)): “Middlemarch” (1871)

Picture of a sign in a green grassy area with the words, ‘What kind of train eats too much? A chew-chew train! AhAHAHAHahAHAHAhahaHAHAHAhah . . . Oh, please call me, I’m so lonely! I need friends . . . 555-1212,’ and a blue sky with white fluffy clouds in the background.

“The lonely one offers his hand too quickly to whomever he encounters.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“Learn to enjoy your own company. You are the one person you can count on living with for the rest of your life.” -Ann Richards

William Osler (1849 - 1919), visiting one of London’s leading children’s hospitals, noticed that in a convalescent ward all the children were clustered at one end of the room dressing their dolls, playing games, and playing in the sandbox - all except for one little girl, who sat forlornly on the edge of her high, narrow bed, clutching a cheap doll. The great physician looked at the lonely little figure, then at the ward nurse. “We’ve tried to get Susan to play,” the nurse whispered, “but the other children just won’t have anything to do with her. You see, no one comes to see her. Her mother is deceased, and her father has been here just once - he brought her that doll. The children have a strange code. Visitors mean so much. If you don’t have any visitors, you are ignored.” William walked over to the child’s bed and asked in a voice loud enough for the others to hear, “May I sit down, please?” The little girl’s eyes lit up. “I can’t stay very long this visit,” Osler went on, “but I have wanted to see you so badly.” For five minutes he sat talking with her, even inquiring about her doll’s health and solemnly pulling out his stethoscope to listen to the doll’s chest. And as he left, he turned to the youngster and said in a carrying voice, “You won’t forget our secret, will you? - and mind, don’t tell anyone.” At the door he looked back. His new friend was now the center of a curious and admiring throng.

“When you have shut your doors and darkened your room, remember never to say that you are alone; for you are not alone, but God is within and your genius is within.” -Epictetus (about C.E. 55 - about C.E. 135): “Discourses,” Book I, chapter 14

“Great minds are like eagles and build their nest in some lofty solitude.” -Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860)

“Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.” -Paul Tillich (Paul Johannes Tillich (1886 - 1965)): “The Eternal Now,” page 11

“I owe everything that I have done to the fact that I am very much at ease being alone.” -Marilynne Robinson

“Your thought is easily influenced by the presence of another soul; a person can be completely free only when he is alone.” -Leo Tolstoy

“The worst solitude is to have no real friendships.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626)

“A high degree of loneliness is an inexorable part of being a sensitive and intelligent human. It’s a built-in feature of a complex existence.” -Alain de Botton

“Loneliness is not lack of company, loneliness is lack of purpose.” -Guillermo Maldonado

“A man thinking or working is always alone.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“Some people can’t stand being alone. I love solitude and silence. But when I come out of it, I’m a regular talking machine. It’s all or nothing for me.” -Celine Dion

“I don’t want to be alone, I want to be left alone.” -Audrey Hepburn (Audrey Hepburn-Ruston (1929 - 1993))

“I remember being alone a lot as a child, and I still love to be alone.” -Cindy Williams (Cynthia Jane ‘Cindy’ Williams (born 1947))

“I secretly enjoy being alone - hiking alone, skiing alone, walking along the beach alone, going to movies alone. Do not get me wrong, I like sharing my life with other people, but sometimes I really enjoy being as alone as possible.” -Josh Zuckerman

“The thing that makes you exceptional, if you are at all, is inevitably that which makes you lonely.” -Lorraine Hansberry

“I only go out to get me a fresh appetite for being alone.” -George Gordon Noel Byron (also known as Lord Byron (1788 - 1824))

“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” -Diane Von Furstenberg

“The price of being a sheep is boredom. The price of being a wolf is loneliness. Choose one or the other with great care.” -Hugh MacLeod

“Alternate between the solitary and the social. Whether alone or with others, keep serenity.” -Deng Ming-Dao

“One of the most important things you can do on this Earth is to let people know they are not alone.” -Shannon L. Alder at https://www.shannonalder.com/

Just as no day is complete without some fun in it, a trip around the internet is never complete without visiting MFOL! . . .

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Idleness and Industriousness

2/15/2022

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Picture of a leopard lying down on the trunk of a tree that is lying on its side.

Up, you sluggard, and get to work . . . or at least do some meaningful activity!

“I was made to work; if you are equally industrious, you will be equally successful.” -Johann Sebastian Bach (1685 - 1750)

“When was the last time you spent a quiet moment just doing nothing - just sitting and looking at the sea, or watching the wind blowing the tree limbs, or waves rippling on a pond, a flickering candle, or children playing in the park?” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955))

“Being forced to work and forced to do your best, will breed in you temperance and self-control, diligence and strength of will, cheerfulness and content, and a hundred virtues which the idle will never know.” -Charles Kingsley (1819 - 1875)

“Doing nothing is very hard to do - you never know when you’re finished.” -Leslie Nielsen

“A human being must have occupation, if he or she is not to become a nuisance to the world.” -Dorothy L. Sayers (Dorothy Leigh Sayers (1893 - 1957))

“Idleness is sweet, and its consequences are cruel.” -John Quincy Adams (1767 - 1848)

“The end of labor is to gain leisure.” -Aristotle (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.)

“Resting is rusting.” -Helen Hayes

“A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

Every Day Will be Sunday

A young fellow who did not much enjoy working did some work, figuring out that eventually every day will be Sunday. Every year has 365 days. If you sleep eight hours a day, it equals 122 days. This leaves 243 days. If you rest eight hours a day it equals another 122 days. This leaves 121 days. There are 52 Sundays, thus leaving 69 days. If you have a half-day on Saturday, this equals 26 days, and leaves 43 days. If you have 1 and 1/2 hours for lunch every workday, this equals 28 days, leaving 15 days. Two weeks’ vacation equals 14 days. This leaves only one day. And on Labor Day, nobody works.

by Author Unknown

“Tomorrow is the only day in the year that appeals to a lazy man.” -Jimmy Lyons

“Men who have attained things worth having in this world have worked while others idled, have persevered when others gave up in despair, have practiced early in life the valuable habits of self-denial, industry, and singleness of purpose. As a result, they enjoy in later life the success so often erroneously attributed to good luck.” -Grenville Kleiser (1868 - 1953): as quoted in “The Forbes Scrapbook of Thoughts on the Business of Life” (1950)

“People who have time on their hands will inevitably waste the time of people who have work to do.” -Thomas Sowell (born 1930)

“There is no excellence without labor.” -Author Unknown

“The dog that trots about finds a bone.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: My dog is so lazy that he hires other dogs to chase cats for him.

Dwight: Why did the lazy woman have a great big dog?
Edwin: So she would not have to bend down far to pet it.

“Determine never to be idle. No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any. It is wonderful how much may be done, if we are always doing.” -Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826): letter (5 May 1787) to Martha Jefferson

“Too much idleness, I have observed, fills up a man’s time much more completely, and leaves him less his own master, than any sort of employment whatsoever.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

“You get out of anything in proportion to what you put into it.” -Author Unknown

“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow!” -Don Herold (1889 - 1966)

“The forty hour week has no charm for me. I’m looking for the forty hour day!” -Nicholas M. Butler (Nicholas Murray Butler (1862 - 1947))

“Shun idleness. It is the rust that attaches itself to the most brilliant metals.” -Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Don’t just sit there like a bump on a log!” -Author Unknown

“Laziness grows on people; it begins in cobwebs, and ends in iron chains. The more business a man has, the more he is able to accomplish; for he learns to economize his time.” -Matthew Hale (1609 - 1676): as quoted in Tryon Edwards “A Dictionary of Thoughts” (1908), page 242

Overheard: I am allergic to lazy people.

“Laziness is contagious just like hard work is. I didn’t give myself an opportunity to be lazy and I didn’t surround myself with people who are lazy.” -Michael Chandler

In Works of Labor or of Skill I would be busy too:
For Satan finds some mischief still for idle Hands to do.
-Isaac Watts (1674 - 1748): “Divine Songs for Children” (1715)

“The hardest work in life is resisting laziness.” -Author Unknown

Dede: What kind of shoes do lazy people wear?
Bebe: Loafers.

“It’s not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is, what are we busy about?” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862): letter (16 November 1857) to Harrison Gray Otis Blake

“Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us. We need hours of aimless wandering or spates of time sitting on park benches, observing the mysterious world of ants and the canopy of treetops.” -Maya Angelou (Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

“We will be friends forever because I am too lazy to find new ones.” -Author Unknown

Lazy people work harder . . . at being lazy, that is!

Picture of the feet of a person who is lying down on the grass in a park.

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the blue sky, is by no means waste of time.” -John Lubbock (1834 - 1913): “The Use of Life” (1894), chapter IV: ‘Recreation’

“The only problem with having nothing to do is you can’t stop and rest.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980))

“Human beings find less rest in idleness than in a change of occupation. If you scoff at the idea, just try it. Instead of collapsing in an easy chair, try tackling your hobby. Or write that neglected letter, or help Johnny to build that radio receiver set. Activity - especially creative activity - is far better recreation than loafing.” -Gardner Hunting (Henry Gardner Hunting (1872 - 1958)): as quoted in “Weekly Unity” magazine

“Luiheid mag aantrekkelijk schijnen, werken geeft bevrediging.” [original German]
“Laziness may appear attractive, but work gives satisfaction.” [translation to English]
-Anne Frank (1929 - 1945): “The Diary of a Young Girl” (1952), ‘6 July 1944’

If little labor, little are our gains;
Man’s fortunes are according to his pains.
-Robert Herrick (1591 - 1674)

“Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.” -attributed to Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

How can we help sluggards become better people? We can urge them on to becoming workers by letting them experience the consequences of their idleness. According to scripture, “For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat. For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies. Now those who are such we command and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘2nd Thessalonians,’ chapter 3, verses 10 through 12

“In idleness there is perpetual despair.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.” -Jules Renard (Pierre-Jules Renard (1864 - 1910))

“The idler does not waste time; he merely wastes himself.” -Author Unknown

“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” -Marthe Troly-Curtin: “Phrynette Married” (1912), page 256

“Lazy people tend not to take chances, but express themselves by tearing down other’s work.” -Ann Rule

Overheard: I am going to do nothing all day today, starting just as soon as I am finished doing the nothing I did all day yesterday . . .

“The unambitious sluggard pretends that the eminence is not worth attaining, declines altogether the struggle, and calls himself a philosopher. I say he is a poor-spirited coward.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863)

Rules for Lazy People

1. If you cannot reach it easily, you do not need it.
2. Get it done - but just not today.
3. It is always somebody else’s job.

by Author Unknown

“Make rest a necessity, not an objective. Only rest long enough to gather strength.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Men are generally idle, and ready to satisfy themselves, and intimidate the industry of others, by calling that impossible which is only difficult.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“The superstition that all our hours of work are a minus quantity in the happiness of life, and all the hours of idleness are plus ones, is a most ludicrous and pernicious doctrine, and its greatest support comes from our not taking sufficient trouble, not making a real effort to make work as near pleasure as it can be.” -Arthur James Balfour (1848 - 1930)

“Doing nothing results in having nothing.” -Daniel Burke

“The really idle man gets nowhere. The perpetually busy man does not get much farther.” -Heneage Ogilvie (William Heneage Ogilvie (1887 -1971))

“Laziness never arrived at the attainment of a good wish.” -Miguel de Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1547 - 1616))

“There is no such thing as a lazy person; he is either sick or uninspired.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012)): “See You at the Top” (2000)

What might someone be other than lazy? Tired, fearful, sad, overwhelmed, in physical pain, in emotional pain, shy . . . Can you think of anything else?

“He who would do some great thing in this short life, must apply himself to the work with such a concentration of his forces as to the idle spectators, who live entirely to amuse themselves, looks like insanity.” -John Foster: as quoted in C. N. Douglas (Charles Noel Douglas (1863 - 1920)), compiler: “Forty Thousand Quotations: Prose and Poetical” (1917)

“Lazy people are always anxious to be doing something.” -Luc de Clapiers (1715 - 1747)

“A sluggard does not plow in season; so at harvest time he looks but finds nothing.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Proverbs,’ chapter 20, verse 4

“Lazy people are good for just one thing, and that is, making mediocre people look like they have accomplished something in life.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If idleness does not produce vice or malevolence, it commonly produces melancholy.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845): attributed in “The Review of Education” (May 1902)

“Laziness is a luxury that few people can afford.” -Igor Stravinsky (1882 - 1971)

“If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.” -Author Unknown

“It is idleness that creates impossibilities; and where people don’t care to do anything, they shelter themselves under a permission that it cannot be done.” -Robert South (1634 - 1716)

“Be sure to keep busy, so the devil may always find you occupied.” -Vegetius (Publius Flavius Vegetius Renatus)

“Laziness travels so slowly, that Poverty soon overtakes him.” -Benjamin Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790)): “Poor Richard’s Almanack” (1756)

“It is necessary to work, if not from inclination, at least from despair. Everything considered, work is less boring than amusing oneself.” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)

“Merit and fame never crown the lazy.” -Author Unknown

“If you want work well done, select a busy man - the other kind has no time.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)): as quoted in Elbert Hubbard II, compiler: “The Note Book of Elbert Hubbard” (1927)

“Laziness is the seed of all evil.” -Author Unknown: Welsh saying

“He who labors diligently need never despair; for all things are accomplished by diligence and labor.” -Menander of Athens (342 B.C.E. - 291 B.C.E.)

“Work is no disgrace: it is idleness which is a disgrace.” -Hesiod (800 B.C.E. - 720 B.C.E.)

“My son has taken up meditation - at least it’s better than sitting doing nothing.” -Max Kauffmann

“A man is a worker. If he is not that, he is nothing.” -Joseph Conrad (Teodor Józef Konrad Nalecz-Korzeniowski (1857 - 1924))

“Idleness is the root of mischief.” -Author Unknown

“Tomorrow is always the sluggard’s working day; today is his holiday.” -Richard Baxter

“I am always busy, which is perhaps the chief reason why I am always well.” -Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815 - 1902)

“The ruin of most men dates from some idle moment.” -George S. Hilliard

“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” -Sam Ewing (1920 - 2001)

“It is one of the strange ironies of this strange life that those who work the hardest, who subject themselves to the strictest discipline, who give up certain pleasurable things in order to achieve a goal, are the happiest men.” -Brutus Hamilton

“Inactivity is the beginning of all vice.” -C. F. W. Walther (Carl Ferdinand Wilhelm Walther (1811 - 1887)): letter (14 January 1873)

“Indolence is a delightful but distressing state; we must be doing something to be happy. Action is no less necessary than thought to the instinctive tendencies of the human frame.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

Smiling uses fewer muscles and takes less effort than frowning, making smiling a great way for lazy people to contribute something useful to the world . . . the results of more hard work follows . . . on MFOL!

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Opportunities and Possibilities

2/7/2022

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Picture of a road sign with the words, ‘Opportunities Straight Ahead, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net’ and a blue sky with hazy white clouds in the background.

Your golden opportunity awaits . . . right this way, please . . .

“Opportunity, sooner or later, comes to all who work and wish.” -Edward George Geoffrey Smith-Stanley (1799 - 1869)

“Any human anywhere will blossom in a hundred unexpected talents and capacities simply by being given the opportunity to do so.” -Doris Lessing (Doris May Lessing (born Doris May Tayler (1919 - 2013)))

“If you miss an opportunity, that is not the end. Another one will come. Just prepare yourself as best you can so that you do not miss the next one.” -Author Unknown

“Far too many people have no idea of what they can do because all they have been told is what they can’t do. They don’t know what they want because they don’t know what’s available for them.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.” -Demosthenes (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.)

“When opportunity knocks, don’t be the one to say, ‘Hey, can you get that?’” -Author Unknown

“Opportunity is often dressed up in work clothes.” -Croft M. Pentz

“The bigger the challenge, the greater the opportunity.” -Author Unknown

“I’ve been lucky. Opportunities don’t often come along. So, when they do, you have to grab them.” -Audrey Hepburn (Audrey Kathleen Hepburn-Ruston (1929 - 1993))

“Opportunity follows struggle. It follows effort. It follows hard work. It doesn’t come before.” -Shelby Steele

“A wise man will make more opportunities, than he finds.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): “Essays” (1625), ‘Of Ceremonies and Respect’

“Be ready when opportunity comes . . . Luck is the time when preparation and opportunity meet.” -Roy D. Chapin, Junior (Roy Dikeman Chapin, Junior (1915 - 2001))

“Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers.” -Author Unknown

“Opportunities comes from knocking on doors until they open.” -Author Unknown

“Be a can-do, will-try person. Focus on what you have and not what you don’t have, what you can do rather than what you cannot do.” -Marian Wright Edelman (born 1939)

“Opportunity does not come and knock on our doors. We must ourselves go knocking on doors to find opportunity, persistently knocking until we have an answer, either yes or no, and then we go on to the next ten thousand doors, one at a time, without pausing between them, smiling as best we are able, and speaking our carefully prepared and memorized introductions in a polite conversational style.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“We must look for the opportunity in every difficulty instead of being paralyzed at the thought of the difficulty in every opportunity.” -Walter E. Cole, Junior (1926 - 2018)

“Opportunities multiply as they are seized.” -Sun-Tzu: “The Art of War” (3rd century B.C.E.)

“Your aspirations are your possibilities.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“You may miss all of the good opportunities if you are willing to try only what you are fairly certain you can succeed at. You have to try many things that might, or might not, work out.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If you don’t hear opportunity knocking, find another door.” -Author Unknown

“Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don’t recognize them.” -John J. Ingalls (John James Ingalls (1833 - 1900))

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Opportunity.
Opportunity, who?
Fooled you - opportunity only knocks once!

“Some say opportunity knocks only once, that is not true. Opportunity knocks all the time, but you have to be ready for it.” -Louis L’Amour (born Louis Dearborn LaMoore (1908 - 1988))

“If you’re looking for a big opportunity, seek out a big problem.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (Harriett Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940))

“Opportunity is a parade. Even as one chance passes, the next is a fife and drum echoing in the distance.” -Robert Brault (born 1938)

“It is often hard to distinguish between the hard knocks in life and those of opportunity.” -Frederick Phillips

“Opportunities don’t happen, you create them.” -Chris Grosser

“Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)): “Tales of the Jazz Age” (1922), ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’

“Opportunity is rare, and a wise man will never let it go by him.” -Bayard Taylor (1825 - 1878)

“Thou hast only to follow the wall far enough and there will be a door in it.” -Marguerite de Angeli (1889 - 1987): “The Door in the Wall” (1949)

“Opportunity seems to have an uncanny habit of favoring those who have paid the price of years of preparation.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “Highways of Happiness” magazine

“The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are.” -John Burroughs (1837 - 1921)

“Opportunity is sometimes hard to recognize if you’re only looking for a lucky break.” -Monta Crane (Monta Mildred (Henrichs) Crane (1911 - 2009))

“Wherever there is danger, there lurks opportunity; whenever there is opportunity, there lurks danger. The two are inseparable. They go together.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“Don’t wait for the right opportunity; create it.” -George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

“Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don’t recognize them.” -Ann Landers (pseudonym of Esther Pauline Friedman ‘Eppie’ Lederer (1918 - 2002))

“Don’t sit down and wait for the opportunities to come; you have to get up and make them.” -Madame C. J. Walker

“Our thoughts and imagination are the only real limits to our possibilities.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1848 - 1924))

“Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon ‘Napoleon’ Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Learn to listen. Opportunity sometimes knocks very softly.” -Author Unknown

“A wise man doesn’t just wait for the right opportunity, he creates the right opportunity.” -Author Unknown

“Let us seize, friends, our opportunity from the day as it passes.” -Quintus Horatius Flaccus (also known simply as Horace (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.))

“Opportunities are seldom labeled.” -John A. Shedd (John Augustus Shedd (1859 - 1928))

“Most people live, whether physically, intellectually, or morally, in a very restricted circle of their potential being. They make use of a very small portion of their possible consciousness, and of their soul’s resources in general, much like a man who, out of his whole bodily organism, should get into a habit of using and moving only his little finger.” -William James (1842 - 1910): as quoted in “The Letters of William James” (1920)

“You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.” -Author Unknown

“Within our dreams and aspirations we find our opportunities.” -Sue Ebaugh (Sue Atchley Ebaugh)

“Men who are resolved to find a way for themselves will always find opportunities enough; and if they do not find them, they will make them.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“It is one of life’s laws that as soon as one door closes another opens. But the tragedy is we look at the closed door and disregard the open one.” -André Gide (André Paul Guillaume Gide (1869 - 1951))

“Opportunity seekers do not sit at home waiting by the telephone or the computer, nor do they hang out in familiar haunts and with the same old crowd. Opportunity seekers go out and knock on unfamiliar doors and enter intimidating buildings and go up and down on elevators and stairs. They do a lot of walking, dressed and groomed as best they can, doing best what they can with what they have until they have more and know more. They meet people who are better than they are, who outclass them in every way, but they continue on.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Your diamonds are not in far distant mountains or in yonder seas; they are in your own backyard, if you but dig for them.” -Russell H. Conwell (Russell Herman Conwell (1843 - 1945)): “Acres of Diamonds” (1890)

“Opportunity . . . often it comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon ‘Napoleon’ Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great. Weak men wait for opportunities; strong men make them.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.” -Doug Larson (1902 - 1981)

“Are you missing opportunities because you are too focused on obstacles?” -Jeffrey Gitomer (born 1946)

Awake! arise! the hour is late!
     Angels are knocking at thy door!
They are in haste and cannot wait,
     And once departed come no more.
Awake! arise! the athlete’s arm
     Loses its strength by too much rest;
The fallow land, the untilled farm
     Produces only weeds at best.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

“It’s hard to hear when opportunity is knocking if you are too busy knocking the opportunity.” -Author Unknown

“What is opportunity, and when does it knock? It never knocks. You can wait a whole lifetime, listening, hoping, and you will hear no knocking. None at all. You are opportunity, and you must knock on the door leading to your destiny. You prepare yourself to recognize opportunity, to pursue and seize opportunity as you develop the strength of your personality, and build a self-image with which you are able to live - with your self-respect alive and growing.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“Opportunity knocks once at every man’s door and then keeps on knocking.” -George Ade (1866 - 1944)

“Your only limitations are those you set up in your mind, or permit others to set up for you.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“Grasp your opportunities, no matter how poor your health; nothing is worse for your health than boredom.” -Mignon McLaughlin (1913 - 1983)

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” -Thomas A. Edison (Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931)): as quoted in John L. Mason: “An Enemy Called Average” (1990), page 55

“Determine your future now by taking hold of every opportunity.” -Debbye Turner

“Look for opportunity. You can’t wait for it to knock on the door . . . You might not be home.” -Jinger Heath

“Opportunity is more valuable than money.” -Grant Cardone (born 1958) at https://grantcardone.com/

“Great minds must be ready not only to take the opportunities, but to make them.” -Charles Caleb Colton (1780 - 1832)

“People wait for opportunity to come along . . . yet it is there every morning.” -Author Unknown: “Dennis the Menace”

“Small opportunities are often the beginnings of great achievements.” -Calvin Coolidge (John Calvin Coolidge, Junior (1872 - 1933))

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their head turned up way too loud to hear it.” -Brian Vaszily (Brian William Vaszily (born 1970))

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Book of Matthew,’ chapter 7, verses 7 and 8 (see also verses 9 through 12)

“The activity you’re most avoiding contains your biggest opportunity.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

“When opportunity knocks, you can’t say, ‘Come back later.’” -Leonard Turkel (1930 - 2011)

“Learn to ask for what you want . . . The worst people can do is not give you what you ask for - which is precisely where you were before you asked.” -Peter McWilliams (1949 - 2000)

“Little opportunities should be improved.” -Francois de Salignac Fenelon (1651 - 1715)

“We have the power within, but the secret of success is to employ our power and talents and be prepared for opportunity when it comes.” -Walter Matthews (1926 - 2012)

“That old saying about opportunity only knocking once is as archaic as the flat-Earth theory and as patently untrue. Opportunity knocks all the time - and it rings your doorbell, calls you up, and sends you e-mails.” -Victoria Moran (born 1950) at https://mainstreetvegan.net/

“The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Jumping at several small opportunities may get us there more quickly than waiting for one big one to come along.” -Hugh Allen (Hugh Percy Allen (1869 - 1946))

“Most successful men have not achieved their distinction by having some new talent or opportunity presented to them. They have developed the opportunity that was at hand.” -Bruce Barton (1886 - 1967)

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” -Milton Berle (born Mendel Berlinger (1908 - 2002))

“Opportunities are often things you haven’t noticed the first time around.” -Catherine Deneuve (pseudonym of Catherine Fabienne Dorléac (born 1943))

“Arrange whatever pieces come your way.” -Virginia Woolf (Adeline Virginia ‘Virginia’ Woolf (born Adeline Virginia Stephen (1882 - 1941)))

“Every situation, properly perceived, becomes an opportunity.” -Helen Schucman (Helen Cohn Schucman (born Helen Dora Cohn (1909 - 1981)))

“Opportunity dances with those already on the dance floor.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (Harriett Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940))

“With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable.” -Thomas Buxton (Thomas Fowell Buxton (1786 - 1845)): as quoted in Frank Leslie: “Sunday Magazine” (January - June 1886), Volume XIX, page 89

“When opportunity knocks, don’t question your ability based on your shortcomings. Know your strengths and start your journey!” -Author Unknown

“Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.” -Theodore Roosevelt (Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919))

We are MFOL! . . . wishing you always increasing success as you journey through a world of endless possibilities . . .

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Poetic Epigrams

2/1/2022

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Look around the habitable world: how few
Know their own good, or knowing it, pursue.
-Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis (also known as Decimus Junius Juvenalis or simply Juvenal (about C.E. 47 - about C.E. 138)): as quoted in John Dryden (1631 - 1700), translator: “The Satires of Decimus Junius Juvenalis: And of Aulus Persius Flaccus” (1693), Satire 10, lines 1 and 2

Once upon a time, it happened to me,
     the very sweetest thing, that could even be.
It was a fantasy, a dream come true,
     it was the day I saw you.
-Author Unknown

It sounds like stories from the land of spirits
If any man obtain that which he merits,
Or any merit that which he obtains.
-Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834)

Two cats can live as cheaply as one,
And their owner has twice as much fun.
-Lloyd Alexander (Lloyd Chudley Alexander (1924 - 2007))

What is a poetic epigram? Po·et·ic ep·i·gram (pō-ĕt′ĭk ĕp′ ĭ-grăm′), noun: a short and often witty poem expressing a single thought or observation. The word ‘poetic’ is derived from the ancient Greek word ‘poiein’ meaning ‘to make,’ in the sense of ‘to craft.’ The word ‘epigram’ is derived from the ancient Greek word ‘epigraphein’ meaning ‘to write on’ or ‘to inscribe,’ and originally referred to inscriptions on stone monuments in ancient Greece.

What is an epigram? A dwarfish whole;
Its body brevity, and wit its soul.
-Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834) (1809)

A house is built of logs and stone,
     of piles and posts and piers;
A home is built of loving deeds,
     that stand a thousand years.
-Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

A house is made of bricks and beams,
A home is made of love and dreams.
-Author Unknown

Early to go to Bed, and early to rise,
Will make a Man Healthy, Wealthy and Wise.
-Thomas Fuller: “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 6080

The Joke

The joke you just told isn’t funny one bit;
     It’s pointless and dull, wholly lacking in wit;
It’s so old and stale, it’s beginning to smell -
     Besides, it’s the one I was going to tell!

by Author Unknown

Contentment is wealth, the riches of the mind;
And happy is he who can such riches find.
-John Dryden (1631 - 1700)

My mom (who’s on a diet)
     says she’s lost another pound.
I’ve tried to help her find it,
     but it’s nowhere to be found.
-Babs Bell Hajdusiewicz (born 1944)

Pursue thy work without delay,
For the short hours run fast away.
-Author Unknown

Words

A careless word may kindle strife;
     A cruel word may wreck a life;
A timely word may level stress;
     A loving word may heal and bless.

by Author Unknown

Genius, that power which dazzles mortal eyes,
Is oft’ but perseverance in disguise.
-Henry W. Austin (Henry Willard Austin (1858 - 1912)): “Perseverance Conquers All”

When Adam Joked

Whatever trouble Adam had,
     No man in days of yore
Could say, when Adam cracked a joke,
     “I’ve heard that one before.”

by Author Unknown

It’s a beautiful world to see,
Or it’s dismal in every zone,
The thing it must be,
In its gloom or its gleam,
Depends on yourself alone.
-Author Unknown

Great wits are sure to madness near allied,
And thin partitions do their bounds divide.
-John Dryden (1631 - 1700): “Absalom and Achitophel” (1681), part I, lines 163 and 164

Whirls

Big whirls have little whirls,
     That feed on their velocity;
And little whirls have lesser whirls,
     And so on to viscosity.

by Lewis Fry Richardson (1881 - 1953): “The Supply of Energy from and to Atmospheric Eddies” (1920)

“An epigram often flashes light into regions where reason shines but dimly.” -Edwin Percy Whipple (1819 - 1886): lecture to the Boston Mercantile Library Association (October 1846), as quoted in Edwin Percy Whipple: “Lectures on Subjects Connected with Literature and Life” (1850)

No bees, no honey;
No work, no money.
-Author Unknown

The wealth of a man is the number
Of things which he loves and blesses,
And which he is loved and blessed by.
-Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

Keep out of ruts; a rut is something which
If traveled in too much, becomes a ditch.
-Arthur Guiterman (1871 - 1943)

Short Sermon

To give and forgive
Is a good way to live.

by Author Unknown

Joy and Temperance and Repose
Slam the door on the doctor’s nose.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

Happy Ending?

There are no happy endings.
     Endings are the saddest part,
So just give me a happy middle
     And a very happy start.

by Author Unknown

Oh, words may rhyme,
     And sound sublime,
And sing and shout,
     Yet still say nowt.
-Author Unknown
nowt: nothing; naught

Could fools to keep their own contrive,
On what, on whom could gamesters thrive?
-John Gay (1685 - 1732): as quoted W. H. Kearley Wright, editor: “The Fables of John Gay” (1889), ‘Fable XII: Pan and Fortune,’ lines 25 and 26

Are You a Poet?

You might not think it,
     You might not know it,
But somewhere within you,
     There might be a poet!

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

When the Sun rises, I go to work.
When the Sun goes down I take my rest,
I dig the well from which I drink,
I farm the soil which yields my food,
I share creation, Kings can do no more.
-Author Unknown

Getting Along

We know how to get along
     every single day.
We take turns and share a lot
     while we work and play.

by Author Unknown

That man who lives for self alone
Lives for the meanest mortal known.
-Joaquin Miller (pseudonym of Cincinnatus Heine Miller (born Cincinnatus Hiner Miller (1837 - 1913))): “The Building of the City Beautiful” (1905), Chapter V: ‘How Beautiful!’ page 48

Always Finish

If a task is once begun
     Never leave it till it’s done.
Be the labor great or small,
     Do it well or not at all.

by Author Unknown: possibly also known by the title “Perseverance”

For every evil under the Sun
     There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try and find it;
     If there be none, never mind it.
by Author Unknown: as published in John Newbery, editor: “Mother Goose’s Melody” (1765)

Poetic epigrams vary in structure. They are typically couplets, or poems of two lines; tercets, or poems of three lines; quatrains, or poems of four lines; quintains or quintets, or poems of five lines; and sestains or sestets, or poems of six lines. Poetic epigrams of more than six lines are less common, in keeping with ‘conciseness’ and ‘brevity,’ words often used in describing them. Some have titles, some have none. Poetic epigrams can be found as a few lines within longer poems, in much the same way that couplets, tercets, quatrains, and structures of more lines can be found within much longer poems.

Little strokes
Fell great oaks
-Benjamin Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790))

Your mind is a garden.
     Your thoughts are the seeds.
You can grow flowers
     Or you can grow weeds.
-Author Unknown

Day-Dreamer

Too much thought:
Too little wrought.

by Author Unknown
wrought: brought into being or put together; archaic past tense of ‘work’

That man is thought a dangerouse knave,
     Or zealot plotting crime,
Who for advancement of his kind
     Is wiser than his time.
-Richard Monckton Milnes (also known as 1st Baron Houghton or Lord Houghton (1809 - 1885))
dangerouse: dangerous
knave: a no-good person
zealot: a fanatic

Do not loiter or shirk,
     Do not falter or shrink
But just think out your work
     And then work out your think.
-Nixon Waterman (1859 - 1944)

A Man Said to the Universe

A man said to the Universe:
“Sir, I exist!”
“However,” replied the Universe,
“The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation.”

by Stephen Crane (1871 - 1900): “War Is Kind and Other Lines” (1899)

Think that day lost whose low descending Sun
Views from thy hand no noble action done.
-Jacob Bobart (1641 - 1719)

For he who fights and runs away
     May live to fight another day;
But he who is in battle slain
     Can never rise and fight again.
-Author Unknown: as published in Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774), editor: “The Art of Poetry on a New Plan” (1762)

The Rooster

Hear the rooster crow out loud,
     At the break of day:
          “R-r-r-r-r, r-r-r-r-r!”
He says, “Get your chores done,
     If you want to play.”
          “R-r-r-r-r, r-r-r-r-r!”

by Author Unknown

Would you like to speak to your contemporaries, meaning people now living, or pass on learning across a great span of years, perhaps to coming generations, who have not yet arrived? Write a poetic epigram, carve it in stone, and let the passage of time carry your message to them.

To see a World in a Grain of Sand
     And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
     And Eternity in an hour.
-William Blake (1757 - 1827): “Auguries of Innocence” (1803), lines 1 through 4

This is Make Fun Of Life! . . . the website for which you have been looking . . . is not proper English ever so peculiar?

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Hopes and Dreams

1/25/2022

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Picture of a road sign with the words, ‘Your Dreams Just Ahead, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net’ and a blue sky with hazy white clouds in the background.

“Everything begins as a dream.” -Author Unknown

“Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.” -Helen Keller (Helen Adams Keller (1880 - 1968))

“Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945))

“Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“To accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” -Anatole France (pseudonym of Jacques Anatole François Thibault (1844 - 1924)): as quoted in Sidney Greenberg, editor: “Treasury of the Art of Living” (1964)

“HOPE: Hanging Onto Positive Expectations.” -Author Unknown

“If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.” -Flavia Weedn (Flavia Marie Weedn (1929 - 2015)): “Flavia and the Dream Maker” (1998)

“Hope costs nothing.” -Colette (Sidonie Gabrielle Colette (1873 - 1954))

“Here I possessed nothing in the world. I was no more than a mortal strayed between sand and stars, conscious of the single blessing of breathing. And yet I discovered myself filled with dreams.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (Antoine Marie Jean-Baptiste Roger, comte de Saint-Exupéry (1900 - 1944))

“The hopeful man sees success where others see failure; sunshine where others see shadows and storm.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“The Sun always shines above the clouds.” -Paul F. Davis

“Do all you can to make your dreams come true.” -Joel Osteen (born 1963)

“Hope has two beautiful daughters, named Anger and Courage; Anger at the way things are, and Courage to change them.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430))

“Dreams come a size too big so you can grow into them.” -Author Unknown

“Have big dreams. You will grow into them.” -Author Unknown

“Hope is not the lucky gift of circumstance or disposition, but a virtue like faith and love, to be practiced whether or not we find it easy or even natural, because it is necessary to our survival as human beings.” -Clara Park

“Hold on to your dreams, for they are, in a sense, the stuff of which reality is made. It is through our dreams that we maintain the possibility of a better, more meaningful life.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

“The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope.” -Barbara Kingsolver (born 1955)

“No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t lose hope. When the Sun goes down, the stars come out.” -Author Unknown

“What steps could you take right now to begin turning your dreams into realities?” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.” -Dale E. Turner (Dale Emerson Turner (1917 - 2006)) at https://www.reverenddaleturner.org/

“While there’s life, there’s hope.” -Terence (Publius Terentius Afer (185 B.C.E. - 159 B.C.E.)): “Heuton timoroumenos,” line 981

“Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.” -John Updike (John Hoyer Updike (1932 - 2009))

“Hope doesn’t require a massive chain where heavy links of logic hold it together. A thin wire will do . . . just strong enough to get us through the night until the winds die down.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“Set out each day believing in your dreams. Know without a doubt that you were made for amazing things.” -Josh Hinds (Josh Stephen Hinds (born 1973))

“Hope, like the gleaming taper’s light,
Adorns and cheers our way;
And still, as darker grows the night,
Emits a brighter ray.”
-Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774): “The Captivity” (1764), Act II

“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.” -Christopher Reeve (Christopher D’Olier Reeve (1952 - 2004))

“Hope is necessary in every condition. The miseries of poverty, of sickness, or captivity, would, without this comfort, be insupportable; nor does it appear that the happiest lot of terrestrial existence can set us above the want of this general blessing; or that life, when the gifts of nature and of fortune are accumulated upon it, would not still be wretched, were it not elevated and delighted by the expectation of some new possession, of some enjoyment yet behind, by which the wish shall at last be satisfied, and the heart filled up to its utmost extent.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (1750 - 1752), Number 67 (6 November 1750)

“Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall at last unveil.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“When the world says, ‘Give up,’ Hope whispers, ‘Try one more time.’” -Author Unknown

“We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.” -Jesse Owens (1913 - 1980)

“Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.” -Léo Joseph Suenens (1904 - 1996))

“At the darkest moment comes the light.” -Joseph Campbell (1904 - 1987)

“In all things it is better to hope than to despair.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Dreams are necessary to life.” -Anaïs Nin (born Angela Anaïs Juana Antolina Rosa Edelmira Nin y Culmell (1903 - 1977))

“Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous.” -Thornton Wilder (Thornton Niven Wilder (1897 - 1975))

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.” -Thích Nhất Hanh (born 1926 as Nguyễn Xuân Bảo)

“It may be that those who do most, dream most.” -Stephen Butler Leacock (1869 - 1944)

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work; you don’t give up.” -Anne ‘Annie’ Lamott (born 1954)

“Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second. Give your dreams all you’ve got and you’ll marvel at the energy that comes out of you.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“There is always hope.” -Author Unknown

“I have had dreams and I have had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.” -Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995)

“Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (Harriett Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940))

“The path to a dream is paved with sacrifices and lined with determination. And although it has many stumbling blocks along the way and may go in more than one direction, it is marked with faith. It is traveled by belief in you and others but requires courage, persistence, and hard work. It is conquered with a willingness to face challenges and take chances, to fail and try again and again. Along the way, you may have to confront doubts, setbacks, and unfairness. But when the path comes to an end, you will find that there is no greater joy than making your dream come true.” -Author Unknown

“The capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. It provides human beings with a sense of destination and the energy to get started.” -Norman Cousins (1915 - 1990)

“It is good to dream, but it is better to dream and work. Faith is mighty, but action with faith is mightier. Desiring is helpful, but work and desire are invincible.” -Thomas Robert Gaines (1877 - 1965)

“The only thing that stands in between you and your dreams is the will to try and the belief that it is actually possible.” -Joel Brown at https://www.iamjoelbrown.com/

“Miracles start to happen when you give as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears.” -Richard Wilkins (Richard Stephen Wilkins (born 1954))

“Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Of all the people I have ever known, those who have pursued their dreams and failed have lived a much more fulfilling life than those who have put their dreams on a shelf for fear of failure.” -Author Unknown

“Hope is like the Sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904): “Self-help, with Illustrations of Character and Conduct” (1861), page 67

“At every crossroad, follow your dream. It is courageous to let your heart lead the way.” -Thomas Leland (1722 - 1785)

“Never stop believing in hope because miracles happen every day.” -Author Unknown

“Dreams don’t work unless you do.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“The hopes of men have been justly called waking dreams.” -Basil (C.E. 330 - C.E. 379): letter to Gregory of Nazianzus: as quoted in S. Baring-Gould (Sabine Baring-Gould (1834 - 1924)): “The Lives of the Saints” (1873)

“Hope is as cheap as Despair.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2542

“Dreams can come true if you take the time to think about what you want in life.” -Author Unknown

“Practice hope. As hopefulness becomes a habit, you can achieve a permanently happy spirit.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“When you have a dream, you’ve got to grab it and never let go.” -Carol Burnett (Carol Creighton Burnett (born 1933))

“My hopes are not always realized, but I always hope.” -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - about C.E. 17))

“Every moment is another chance to make your dreams come true.” -Author Unknown

“False hope is better than no hope at all.” -Lois Greiman (Lois Denise Greiman (born 1959))

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.” -J. K. Rowling (Joanne Kathleen ‘Jo’ Rowling (born 1965)): “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” (1997)

“If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.” -Clement of Alexandria (also known as Titus Flavius Clemens (about C.E. 150 - about C.E. 215))

“Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away.” -Tom Clancy (Thomas Leo Clancy, Junior (1947 - 2013))

“Where there is no hope, there can be no endeavor.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (6 April 1751)

“All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“The real people of genius were resolute workers, not idle dreamers.” -George Henry Lewes (1817 - 1878)

“For hope is but the dream of those that wake.” -Matthew Prior (1664 - 1721): “Solomon on the Vanity of the World,” book iii, line 102

“All men of action are dreamers.” -James G. Huneker (James Gibbons Huneker (1860 - 1921))

“Trust your hopes, not your fears.” -David Mahoney (David Joseph Mahoney, Junior (1923 - 2000))

“Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.” -Author Unknown

“Hope never abandons you; you abandon it.” -George Weinberg (1929 - 2017)

“Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” -Gloria Steinem (born 1934)

“Great Hopes make great Men.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 1759

“People too weak to follow their own dreams typically tend to find a way to discourage yours.” -Author Unknown

“Always chase your dreams instead of running from your fears.” -Author Unknown

“If it were not for Hopes, the Heart would break.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2689

“Nothing happens unless first a dream.” -Carl Sandburg (Carl Augustus Sandburg (1878 - 1967))

“Everything that is done in the world is done by the hopeful. No matter your age. No matter your circumstances. No matter your financial wealth. Without hope, nothing is possible. But with hope . . . well . . . watch out.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Your dreams tell you what to do; your reason tells you how to do it.” -Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995)

“Hope is itself a species of happiness, and, perhaps, the chief happiness which this world affords.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): letter (8 June 1762) as quoted in James Boswell: “The Life of Samuel Johnson” (1791), Volume I

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832): “Faust,” lines 214 and 215, as translated by John Anster (1835)

“In both children and adults, there can be a hard-to-deny link between a robust sense of hope and either work productivity or academic achievement.” -Jeffrey Kluger (born 1954)

“Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.” -attributed to Coco Chanel (Gabrielle Bonheur ‘Coco’ Chanel (1883 - 1971))

“There is nothing like a dream to create the future.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.” -Christopher Reeve (Christopher D’Olier Reeve (1952 - 2004))

We are MFOL! . . . and our fondest Hopes and Dreams are that you will visit us often . . . as you make your way toward all the good that life has in store for you . . .

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Meeting and Parting

1/19/2022

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Picture of a donkey and a dog standing and facing each other in a grassy area under a shade tree and greeting each other with the Hebrew word Shalom, the English word Hello, the Hindi word Namaste, the Spanish word Hola, the French word Salut, the Dutch word Welkom, the Italian word Ciao, and the Spanish word Bienvenidos.

Most things in life start with hello . . .

“I figured out that I can greet people with ‘soup’ or ‘jello’ and people will hear the words as ‘what’s up’ or ‘hello.’” - Author Unknown

“Be the first to say hello to others. You will have a happier day.” -Author Unknown

Lucy: So, how are you today?
Anne: Just ducky! Quack, quack!

“A simple hello could lead to a million things.” -Author Unknown

Merry may we meet,
     Merry may we be together,
Merry may we part.
     And merry meet again.
-Author Unknown

‘Ciao’ (pronounced as ‘chow’) is an Italian expression that can be said to people both at meeting and at parting.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howie.
Howie, who?
I’m fine. Howie you?

‘Cheerio!’ is a British way of saying at once ‘goodbye’ and ‘be of good cheer.’

Meeting and Parting Without Physical Contact (and Spoken Words Optional)
- Bowing.
- Curtsying.
- Hand gesturing such as the Hippie ‘peace sign.’
- Hand waving.
- Hat tipping.
- Head nodding.
- Saluting.
Can you add to this list?

‘Welkom’ is a Dutch word meaning ‘welcome.’

“Don’t be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936)): “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah” (1977), chapter 18

‘Aloha’ (pronounced as ‘uh-loh-uh or ‘ah-loh-hah’) is Hawaiian for both ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye.’

Matthew: How are you?
Luke: Too blessed to be stressed!

“Why can’t we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn’t work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.” -Charles M. Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000))

‘Bienvenidos’ is a Spanish word meaning ‘welcome.’

When asked how to make goodbyes less sad and scary, our first thought was, ice cream! But maybe better answers exist. Can you think of some?

“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

Cassidy: What did the buffalo say when his son went off to college?
Cassandra: “Bison!”

‘Salut’ is a French word used informally to mean ‘hello’ or ‘goodbye.’ ‘Bonjour’ is used formally during the daytime, with the meaning ‘good day,’ ‘good morning,’ or ‘hello.’ ‘Bonsoir’ means ‘good evening.’

Goodbyes

Goodbyes are not forever,
     Goodbyes are not the end -
They simply mean I’ll miss you,
     Until we meet again.

by Author Unknown

The proper response to the Irish greeting, “Top of the morning to you!” is “And the rest of the day to yourself!”

Elma: Hi, how are you?
Bert: Better and better!

An Irish Blessing

May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
And the rain fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

by Author Unknown

The word ‘goodbye,’ also spelled good-bye, is a contraction of the Old English phrase, ‘God be by ye,’ which roughly translates to Modern English as, ‘May God be with you.’

Al: How are you, my friend?
Vin: I’m doing swimmingly!

Overheard: If you see me getting smaller, it means I’m leaving.

How are you?
- About average.
- Couldn’t be better.
- Fair to partly cloudy.
- Fit as a fiddle.
- Good.
- Just peachy
- Marvelous.
- Not bad.
- Outstanding.
- Perfect.
- Pretty good.
- Spectacular.
- Super!
So, how are you today?

Picture of five people’s hands, each holding up an inflatable pink letter, spelling the word, ‘Hello.’

The word ‘hello’ was once commonly used as an expression at encountering something unexpected or to call another person’s attention to something. Thomas Edison (Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931)) suggested that the word be used as a greeting when answering telephones.

“It is generally agreed that ‘Hello’ is an appropriate greeting because if you entered a room and said ‘Goodbye,’ it could confuse a lot of people.” -Dolph Sharp (born 1914)

“I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, ‘I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.’ I said, ‘I am.’” -Demetri Martin (Demetri Evan Martin (born 1973))

Carpenter Bob: How are you?
Tailor Jill: Just sew-sew!

‘Namaste’ is a Hindi word meaning ‘farewell,’ used commonly in India.

“Happy trails to you, until we meet again.” -Dale Evans Rogers (pseudonym of Frances Octavia Smith (born Lucille Wood Smith (1912 - 2001))): “Happy Trails” song

It was the briefest of encounters, so I quickly said, “Hello - and goodbye!”

‘So-long’ is derived from the Arabic ‘salaam’ and the Hebrew ‘shalom,’ which roughly translate to English as, ‘peace unto you.’

“There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.” -Author Unknown

The custom of shaking hands began in ancient times when strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed and had no ill intent.

Animal Theme Meeting Lines
- How do you do, caribou?
- What’s the word, hummingbird?
Can you think of others?

Jody: What do wolves say when they are introduced?
Cody: “Howl do you do?”

‘Hola’ is a Spanish word meaning ‘hello.’ ‘Que pasa’ is a casual or informal expression, though often not a preferred greeting because its literal meaning is ‘what happened’ or ‘what is happening.’

“The two hardest things to say in life are hello for the first time and goodbye for the last.” -Moira Rogers (pseudonym of writing team Bree Bridges and Donna Herren)

“When I feel threatened, vulnerable, or insecure, whether it is from simply walking into a room of unknown people, meeting someone for the first time, an unexpected or expected confrontation, or doing something new, I affirm in my mind (over and over): There is no danger, there is no threat. From there, the discomfort lessens and I become open for discovery and adventure.” -Charles F. Glassman (born 1959): “Brain Drain: The Breakthrough That Will Change Your Life” (2009)

“Good-bye is always hello to something else.” -George Ella Lyon (born 1949): “Borrowed Children” (March 1988)

“Fare thee well.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Antony and Cleopatra” (1606 - 1607), Act 4, scene 4

Fare thee well! and if forever,
Still forever, fare thee well.
-Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824)): “Fare Thee Well” (1816), stanza 1

“Until we meet again, may the good Lord take a liking to you.” -Roy Rogers (pseudonym of Leonard Franklin ‘Len’ Slye (1911 - 1998))

Alex: Morning glory.
Felix: Evening grace.

“So long, and thanks for all the fish!” -Douglas Adams (Douglas Noel Adams (1952 - 2001))

“We only part to meet again.” -John Gay (1685 - 1732)

Animal Theme Parting Lines
- Adieu, cockatoo!
- Adios, hippos!
- After a while, crocodile!
- Be well, speedy snail!
- Better shake, rattlesnake!
- Bye-bye, butterfly!
- Can’t stay, blue jay.
- Don’t meander, salamander!
- Good wishes, jellyfishes!
- Goodbye, dragonfly!
- Goodbye, fruit fly!
- Gotta go, buffalo!
- Hasta mañana, iguana!
- Hit the road, hoppy toad!
- See you later, alligator!
- See you soon, hairy baboon!
- See you soon, raccoon!
- See you then, penguin!
- So long, King Kong!
- Stay well, gazelle!
- Take care, grizzly bear!
- Take care, polar bear!
- Ta-ta, chihuahua!
- Toodle-oo, kangaroo!
- Tout de suite, parakeet!
- Until then, little red hen!

Cool Cat: How are things?
Hot Dog: Dyn-o-mite, baby.

Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves when they rode past their king. This custom has become the modern military salute.

“Goodbye is the hardest thing to say to someone who means the world to you, especially when goodbye isn’t what you want.” -Author Unknown

“You will always be my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye.” -Cecelia Ahern

“Sometimes goodbye is not the hardest thing to say . . . sometimes the hardest thing to say is hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianist or supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” -A. A. Milne (Alan Alexander Milne (1882 - 1956)): “Winnie the Pooh” (1926)

“All farewells should be sudden.” -Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824)): “Sardanapalus” (1821), act V

Velma: How are things in the fast-paced business world?
Wilma: I’m just about breakin’ even.

Good-night, good-night! parting is such sweet sorrow
That I shall say good-night till it be morrow.
-William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Romeo and Juliet” (1595), Act II, scene ii

‘CU L8R’ is an abbreviation for ‘See you later.’

Jean: How are you?
Gene: Everything’s copacetic*!
*copacetic (koh-puh-SET-ik), adjective: satisfactory; fine.

“Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet again in life.” -Jean Paul Richter (1763 - 1825): as attributed in “The Pulpit Treasury” (March 1884)

Anne: How are you getting along?
Gus: Fair to midlin’.

We’ll meet again,
Don’t know where, don’t know when,
But I know we’ll meet again,
Some sunny day.
-Vera Lynn

The phrase ‘long time no see’ is believed to be a literal translation of a Native American or Chinese phrase as it is not grammatically correct.

Suzette: Y’all come back real soon now, ya hear?
Angus: You mean, like, right now?
Suzette: No, like, later!
Angus: Well, then . . . how about right now, is that later enough?

“‘It is never good dwelling on good-byes,’ she said. ‘It is not the being together that it prolongs, it is the parting.’” -Elizabeth Charlotte Lucy Bibesco (also known as Princess Bibesco, Elizabeth Asquith, and Elizabeth Bibesco; born Elizabeth Charlotte Lucy Asquith (1897 - 1945))

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Willy.
Willy, who?
Willy good to see you today, my friend!

“The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870)): “Nicholas Nickleby” (1838 - 1839)

Smokey Bear: See ya later!
Woodsy Owl: Owl be seeing you!

Is sticking out your tongue an acceptable way to greet people or to say goodbye to people?

“Farewell! God knows when we shall meet again.” -William Shakespeare: “Romeo and Juliet” (1595 - 1596), Act 4, scene 3, line 14

World Hello Day is observed on 21 November of each year.

“Sometimes you have to find the good in goodbye.” -Author Unknown

What does it mean to ‘always leave on a high note’? It means to always leave people wanting more by saying uplifting or humorous words when you are on the way out.

“This is not goodbye, it’s just goodnight.” -Alan Freed (1922 - 1965): signature sign-off as a radio announcer

‘Håfa adai’ (pronounced approximately like ‘half a day’ but leaving out the ‘l’ sound in ‘half’) is an expression for ‘hello’ in the native Chamorro language of the island of Guam and the Northern Marianas, both of which are in the Mariana islands chain. The literal translation is ‘what friend’ and the expression is sometimes informally shortened to just ‘håfa.’

“To all, to each, a fair good-night, and pleasing dreams, and slumbers light.” -Walter Scott (1771 - 1832)

Overheard: I like smiling and waving at random strangers, because then they will spend the rest of the day trying to figure out who the mysterious person was that waved at them.

May your hellos always outnumber your goodbyes as you continue on your journey . . . and may you never forget to ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ every day . . .

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Umbrellas and Parasols

1/12/2022

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Picture of a boy and a girl standing under an umbrella on a rainy Autumn day.

Dale: What goes up when the rain comes down?
Gail: An umbrella!

Little Umbrella

I have a little umbrella.
It helps me stay dry.
And on a very windy day,
It even helps me fly!
Open it. Close it.
Oh what fun it can be.
Jumping over puddles,
My little umbrella and me!

by Author Unknown

Shane: If six children and two dogs were under an umbrella, how come none of them got wet?
Shannon: Because it wasn’t raining.

“A rainy day is the only chance an umbrella gets to shine.” -Author Unknown

The word ‘umbrella’ comes from the Latin word ‘umbros’ meaning ‘shade’ or ‘shadow.’

Judy: Why do people carry umbrellas?
Jude: Because umbrellas can’t walk by themselves.

Umbrellas were originally used to shade people from the Sun, like modern parasols, and not to protect people from the rain as they are today. In ancient Greece, umbrellas became a fashion accessory used by men though not women, probably because men tended to be out under the Sun more.

Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)) once told a story of trying to get rid of a wreck of an old umbrella. First he threw it in a trash can, but someone recognized it as his, and returned it. Then he dropped it down a deep well, but someone repairing the well saw the umbrella, and returned it. He tried several other methods, but always the umbrella came back. “Finally,” said Mr. Twain, “I lent it to a friend, and I never saw it again.”

Picture of colorful umbrellas suspended in a blue sky with fluffy white clouds.

It’s raining umbrellas!

Bella Had a New Umbrella

Bella had a new umbrella
     Didn’t want to lose it,
So when she walked out in the rain
     She didn’t ever use it.
Her nose went sniff,
     Her shoes went squish,
Her socks grew soggy,
     Her glasses got foggy,
Her pockets filled with water,
     And a little green froggy.
All she could speak
     Was a weak ‘kachoo!’
But Bella’s umbrella
     Stayed nice and new.

by Eve Merriam

“I used the money I had been saving for a rainy day to buy an umbrella.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Keith: Why would anyone need a chicken-proof umbrella?
Kevin: To use in case of fowl weather.

The average life span of cheap umbrellas is one-and-a-half years.

Marla: So what kind of umbrellas do people carry on rainy days?
Marlo: Wet ones.

Why are many umbrellas black? When umbrellas first came into popular use in the 18th century, they were made of oil-soaked cotton cloth stretched over whalebone. Oil was applied to the cotton fabric to make it waterproof. It also gave the cloth a black coloration. While this type of umbrella was waterproof, it was not very durable. Soon, better umbrellas were made, and since the color black was associated with effective waterproofing, most of the newer models were dyed black. However, for safety purposes, brightly colored umbrellas, being more visible to motorists, may possibly decrease the likelihood of collisions with pedestrians. Clear umbrellas are also a good choice as they give their holders the ability to see through them.

“You will need three umbrellas: one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.” -James L. Blankenship

Picture of a woman standing outside and holding a parasol, with green leafy trees and green grass in the background.

“Spin the parasol three times and repeat after me: I shield in the name of fashion. I accessorize for one and all. Pursuit of truth is my passion. This I vow by the great parasol.” -Gail Carriger

The word ‘parasol’ is a combination of ’para’ from the Latin word 'parare' meaning ‘to shield from’ and ’sol’ meaning ‘sun.’

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Spin and Twirl

Spin, spin the parasol
     Spin it, and it flies away -
When it stops,
     It’s somehow on the ground.

Twirl, twirl the umbrella,
     Water droplets fly everywhere.
Twirl it, twirl it,
     And then twirl it once more!

Parasol or umbrella,
     Twirl or spin,
Collapse them and stow them away,
     To twirl or spin on yet another day.

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966): “More Boring Poetry”

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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
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National Umbrella Day is observed on 10 February of each year. If it doesn’t rain on that day, it’ll be a big disappointment to many of us!

“Have you noticed that some people are not good at saving money, but somehow always manage to save an umbrella for a rainy day?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Picture of a cloud-like parasol made by attaching loose cotton over an old metal umbrella frame from which the cloth canopy is missing.

Your own personal portable cloud-on-a-stick parasol is a great accessory for carrying around on sunny days, and will help keep the Sun off your head. This one is made from fluffy cotton and a broken umbrella.

A successful steel-ribbed umbrella was invented by Samuel Fox in 1852, although some earlier steel-ribbed umbrellas may have existed. The first working folding umbrella was introduced by Bradford Philips in 1969.

Norman: Did you hear about the responsible umbrella manufacturer?
Norma: Yes, they say he is saving his money for a sunny day.

Umbrellas are among the things of which you should always have at least two, in case you lose an umbrella or need to loan one to a friend. The two best times to buy an umbrella are before you need one and when it is not raining. When it starts raining, umbrellas sell quickly, even at inflated prices, and you might not be able to find one to buy.

“I walked around for a few hours. Around one-thirty it started raining lightly. Almost immediately the umbrella sellers turned up on the street corners. You’d have thought they had existed previously in spore form, springing miraculously to life when a drop of water touched them.” -Lawrence Block (born 1938): “Out on the Cutting Edge” (1989)

Marshall: What is big and gray and protects people from the rain?
Marsha: An umbrellaphant!

Umbrellas and Parasols Facts
- Umbrellas help keep the rain off people.
- Umbrellas are made of waterproof material.
- Parasols help keep the sunlight off people.
- Parasols are often not made of waterproof material.

“One thing we have never been able to save for a rainy day is an umbrella.” -Herbert V. Prochnow (Herbert Victor Prochnow, Senior (1897 - 1998))

The rain it raineth on the just
And also on the unjust fella;
But chiefly on the just, because
The unjust steals the just’s umbrella.
-Charles Bowen (Charles Synge Christopher Bowen, also known as Baron Bowen (1835 - 1894)): as published in Walter Sichel: “Sands of Time” (1923)

Picture of two happy smiling boys walking in the rain, and using a large green banana plant leaf as an umbrella.

A friend is someone who has an umbrella when it is raining . . .

“All men are equal - all men, that is to say, who possess umbrellas.” -E. M. Forster (Edward Morgan Forster): “Howards End” (1910)

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The Gingham Umbrella

Alphonso, Alphonso, Alphonso and Arabella
     They happened to meet
A man in the street,
     Who carried a gingham umbrella.

Alphonso possessed neither manners nor grace,
     He made at this person a hideous face;
But how different the conduct of sweet Arabella,
     Who praised with politeness the gingham umbrella.

The man was a nobleman, deeply disguised;
     The compliment courteous he pointedly prized;
‘Sweet creature,’ he said, ‘come away from this feller,
     And take both my heart and my gingham umbrella!’

The very next morning they met in the church,
     And foolish Alphonso was left in the lurch;
And they said, ‘In the future you’ll know how to tell a
     Great lord from a loon, by his gingham umbrella!’

by Laura Richards (Laura Elizabeth Richards (1850 - 1943))

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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
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“It is the habitual carriage of the umbrella that is the stamp of Respectability. The umbrella has become the acknowledged index of social position . . . Crusoe was rather a moralist than a pietist, and his leaf-umbrella is as fine an example of the civilized mind striving to express itself under adverse circumstances as we have ever met with.” -Robert L. Stevenson (Robert Louis Balfour Stevenson (1850 - 1894)) and J. W. Ferrier: “Philosophy of Umbrellas” (1871)

Marissa: What goes up a chimney down, but can’t go down a chimney up?
Clarissa: An umbrella!

Umbrella Etiquette
- Let others stand under your umbrella with you, including people and animals, if your umbrella is large enough, and if the others are not too peculiar.
- Shake the water off your umbrella before entering a building or vehicle, and then either place it inside a plastic bag, in an umbrella stand, or in another place where the water that runs off it will not create a dangerous slippery-slidey floor.

Otis: Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella?
Doris: Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

“Going around under an umbrella interferes with one’s looking up at the sky.” -Jerzy Kosinski

Picture of a boy standing under an umbrella in the pouring rain.

We know you can’t wait for it to rain, so that you can try out your new umbrella, with that great new umbrella smell! More fun follows . . . on MFOL!

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Pessimism and Optimism

1/7/2022

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Picture of four people with solemn expressions standing and holding signs reading, ‘British League of Pessimists’ and ‘National No Smiling Day’ and ‘No! No! No!’ and ‘Join Our Silent Protest.’

The British League of Pessimists is against anything and everything . . .

“Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.” -Mary Lou Retton (Mary Lou ‘Loo’ Retton (born 1968))

“One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.” -Lucille Ball (Lucille Désirée Ball (1911 - 1989))

“Always think positive. For example, I fell down the stairs today and thought, ‘Wow! I sure fell down those stairs fast!’” -Author Unknown

“An optimist is one who makes the best of it when he gets the worst of it.” -Laurence J. Peter (Laurence Johnston Peter (1919 - 1990))

“No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.” -Helen Keller (Helen Adams Keller (1880 - 1968)): “My Key of Life, Optimism: An Essay” (1904)

“No sense in being pessimistic - it probably wouldn’t work anyway.” -Author Unknown

“An optimist is a person who undertakes a seemingly impossible task in a spirit of immeasurable enthusiasm, unbounded determination, unbelievable excitement, indestructible confidence, uncompromising thoroughness, and indefatigable persistence . . . with understandable success.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“Being an optimist after you’ve got everything you want doesn’t count.” -Kin Hubbard (Frank McKinney ‘Kin’ Hubbard (1868 - 1930))

“No one really knows enough to be a pessimist.” -Norman Cousins (1915 - 1990)

“Optimists don’t internalize pain or criticism. They take it for what it is worth and carry on.” -Robert M. Sherfield at http://www.RobertSherfield.com/

“Distance yourself from negativity or it will deplete your well of optimism.” -Jeff Sheehan

“An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out?” -René Descartes (1596 - 1650)

Optimist and Pessimist

Twixt optimist and pessimist,
     The difference is droll*:
The optimist sees the doughnut,
     The pessimist sees the hole.

by McLandburgh Wilson (Florence McLandburgh (1850 - 1934)): poem (1915)
*droll: amusing in an odd way

“You will find yourself refreshed by the presence of cheerful people. Why not make earnest effort to confer that pleasure on others? Half the battle is gained if you never allow yourself to say anything gloomy.” -Lydia M. Child (Lydia Maria Child (born Lydia Maria Francis (1802 - 1880)))

“A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities; an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.” -Reginald B. Mansell (Reginald Baynes Mansell (1897 - 1945))

“An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.” -Walter Winchell (1897 - 1972)

“Pessimism is contagious. One of the ways people catch it is from exposure to news shows on television, radio, and online.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“It can be done.” -Author Unknown

“If the pessimists aren’t happy now, they never will be!” -Author Unknown

“Real optimism has reason to complain but prefers to smile.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“Pessimist: A person who says ‘o’ is the last letter of zero, instead of the first letter of opportunity.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Optimism is essential to achievement and is also the foundation of courage and true progress.” -Nicholas Murray Butler (1862 - 1947)

“A pessimist looks at his glass and says it is half empty; an optimist looks at it and says it is half full.” -Josiah Stamp (1880 - 1941): as attributed in the “New York Times” (13 November 1935) newspaper

“I find, when you’re an optimist, life has a funny way of looking after you.” -Simon Sinek (Simon Oliver Sinek (born 1973))

“Avoid destructive thinking. Improper negative thoughts sink people. A ship can sail around the world many, many times, but just let enough water get into the ship and it will sink. Just so with the human mind: Let enough negative thoughts or improper thoughts get into the human mind and the person sinks just like a ship.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“The optimist regards the future as uncertain.” -Eugene Paul Wigner (also known as E. P. Wigner (born Wigner Jenő Pál (1902 - 1995)))

“Optimism. It’s not just a mind-set, it is behavior.” -Larry Elder (Laurence Allen ‘Larry’ Elder (born 1952)) at www.LarryElder.com

“Criticism and pessimism destroy families, undermine institutions of all kinds, defeat nearly everyone, and spread a shroud of gloom over entire nations.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

Optimist: The glass is half-full.
Pessimist: The glass is half-empty.
Efficiency Expert: The glass is twice the required size.

“Real optimism knows the difficulties but believes they can be overcome.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“I’ve never seen a monument erected to a pessimist.” -Paul Harvey (1918 - 2009)

“For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else.” -Winston Churchill (Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill (1874 - 1965)): speech (9 November 1954) at the Lord Mayor’s banquet in London, England

“How happy are the pessimists! What joy is theirs when they have proved there is no joy.” -Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach (1830 - 1916): as quoted in Maturin M. Ballou: “Edge-Tools of Speech” (1886), page 251

“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

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The Pessimist

Nothing to do but work,
     Nothing to eat but food,
Nothing to wear but clothes
     To keep one from going nude.

Nothing to breathe but air
     Quick as a flash it is gone;
Nowhere to fall but off,
     Nowhere to stand but on.

Nothing to comb but hair,
     Nowhere to sleep but in bed,
Nothing to weep but tears,
     Nothing to bury but dead.

Nothing to sing but songs,
     Ah, well, alas! alack!
Nowhere to go but out,
     Nowhere to come but back.

Nothing to see but sights,
     Nothing to quench but thirst,
Nothing to have but what we’ve got;
     Thus thro’ life we are cursed.

Nothing to strike but a gait;
     Everything moves that goes.
Nothing at all but common sense
     Can ever withstand these woes.

by Benjamin Franklin King (1857 - 1894)

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“Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist.” -Robert G. Allen (Robert Grant Allen (born 1948))

“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.” -G. B. Stern (Gladys Bronwyn Stern (born Gladys Bertha Stern (1890 - 1973))): as quoted in Karen Weekes: “Women Know Everything!: 3,241 Quips, Quotes, and Brilliant Remarks” (1 March 2007), page 41

“Stick with the optimists. It’s going to be tough enough even if they’re right.” -James Reston (James Barrett ‘Scotty’ Reston (1909 - 1995))

“Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“As I say yes to life, life says yes to me!” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017)) at www.louisehay.com

“The best things in life are free . . . and so are the worst things.” -Author Unknown

“The right train of thought can take you to a better station in life.” -Author Unknown

“So a pessimist walked into a restaurant and said, ‘You’re closed, aren’t you?’” -Author Unknown

“An optimist is the human personification of spring.” -Susan J. Bissonette (Susan Jean Bissonette (born 1938)): as quoted in “Readers Digest” (1979)

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The Hymn of the Pessimist

My grandpa notes the world’s worn cogs,
And says we’re going to the dogs.

His grandpa in his house of logs,
Said things were going to the dogs.

His grandpa in the Flemish bogs,
Said things were going to the dogs.

His grandpa in his hairy togs,
Said things were going to the dogs.

But this is what I wish to state,
The dogs have had an awful wait.

by Author Unknown

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“It’s not that optimism solves all of life’s problems; it is just that it can sometimes make the difference between coping and collapsing.” -Lucy MacDonald

“A pessimist is someone who complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.” -Michael Levine

“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in; a pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” -Bill Vaughan (William Edward ‘Bill’ Vaughan also known by pseudonym Burton Hillis (1915 - 1977)): “Senator Soaper Opines” (31 December 1963) newspaper column in the “Evening World-Herald,” page 16, column 2

“Always look on the bright side of life. Otherwise it’ll be too dark to read.” -Author Unknown

“Optimism is the one quality more associated with success and happiness than any other.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“In the long run, the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.” -Daniel L. Reardon

“Be courageous. Change and improve each day. Do your best and don’t look back. See learning and change as opportunities. Try new things. Consider several options. Meet new people. Ask lots of questions. Keep track of your mental and physical health. Be optimistic.” -Donald Martin

“Pessimist: A person who views the world through woes-colored glasses.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: I would like to be an optimist, but I doubt that it would work out.

“One day someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. And he said, ‘Is it half full or half empty?’ So I drank the water. No more problem.” -Alexander Jodorowsky

“What people forget is a journey to nowhere starts with a single step, too.” -Chuck Palahniuk: “Survivor” (17 February 1999)

“The habit of looking on the best side of every event is worth more than a thousand pounds a year.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.” -James Branch Cabell (1879 - 1958): “The Silver Stallion” (1926), Chapter 6

“People who wonder whether the glass is half full or half empty miss the point. The glass is refillable.” -Author Unknown

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement; nothing can be done without hope.” -Helen Keller (Helen Adams Keller (1880 - 1968)): “Optimism” (1903)

“A stumbling-block to the pessimist is a stepping-stone to the optimist.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor ‘Eleanor’ Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“Optimist: Someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s a cha-cha.” -Robert Brault (born 1938) at RBrault.blogspot.com

“I’m so optimistic I’d go after Moby Dick in a row boat and take the tartar sauce with me.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Optimism refuses to believe that the road ends without options.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

Marcella: How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?
Marcia: None; a new one will not work any better than the burned-out one did.

“Optimism will grow like a flower if the soil be properly prepared.” -Arthur Lynch

“Pessimism wilts everything around it.” -Michael Levine

“Optimists find joy in small things. They enjoy sunsets, a good conversation with a close friend; and they enjoy life in general. They are more concerned with having many small joys rather than having one huge joy.” -Robert M. Sherfield at http://www.RobertSherfield.com/

“Optimism is the sunshine of the soul.” -Author Unknown

“Optimism inspires, energizes, and brings out our best. It points the mind toward possibilities and helps us think creatively past problems.” -Price Pritchett

“An optimistic point of view will always look much better on you!” -Susan Librener

This is MFOL! . . . where life is good - who are we kidding - life is great!

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Television

12/30/2021

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Picture of three people sitting in a chair outside in a field, watching a television that is on top of a bale of hay.

“It’s a good thing television shows are so awful; otherwise, some of us would spend our entire lives watching television.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“The television and I have the world’s best relationship, because we see each other every day and I am pretty sure it loves me as much as I love it.” -Author Unknown

“The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you’re doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.” -Jerry Seinfeld (Jerome Allen ‘Jerry’ Seinfeld (born 1954))

“Television has changed the American child from an irresistible force to an immovable object.” -Laurence J. Peter (Laurence Johnston Peter (1919 - 1990))

“My father hated radio and couldn’t wait for television to be invented so he could hate that, too.” -Peter De Vries (1910 - 1993)

“Have you ever noticed that TV families never watch TV?” -Henny Youngman (Henry ‘Henny’ Youngman (1906 - 1998))

“Time has convinced me of one thing: television is for appearing on, not for looking at.” -Noël Coward (Noël Pierce Coward (1899 - 1973))

“Television is about watching a life instead of having one.” -Beth Mazur

In 1965, BBC TV featured an interview with a professor who had just invented a device called ‘smellovision.’ This miraculous technology allowed viewers to experience directly in their own home aromas produced in the television studio. The professor offered a demonstration by cutting some onions and brewing coffee. A number of viewers called in to confirm that they distinctly experienced these scents as if they were there in the studio with him. Since no aromas were actually being transmitted, whatever these viewers thought they smelled coming out of their TV sets must be chalked up to the power of suggestion.

“People only know what they see on TV.” -Carmello Anthony

“Television is the single greatest threat to communications and connections within a family. You may as well be fifty miles away from the person sitting next to you if you’re both watching television.” -Author Unknown

“The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself, ‘This changes everything.’” -Author Unknown

“Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.” -Richard M. Nixon (Richard Milhous Nixon (1913 - 1994))

“I may have made a lot of bad decisions in life, but at least I don’t watch daytime television.” -Andy Borowitz

“Whoever controls the media - the images - controls the culture.” -Allen Ginsberg (Irwin Allen Ginsberg (1926 - 1997))

“As long as there’s a jingle in your head, TV isn’t free.” -Jason Love

“The one function that TV news performs very well is that, when there is no news, we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were.” -David Brinkley (1920 - 2003)

“When I got my first television set, I stopped caring so much about close relationships.” -Andy Warhol

“Imagine what it would be like if TV were actually good. It would be the end of everything we know.” -Marvin Minsky

“If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners.” -Johnny Carson (John William ‘Johnny’ Carson (1925 - 2005))

“After 20 years of searching, you are forced to admit that there just isn’t anything good on TV.” -Author Unknown: “The Onion,” ‘Horoscope’

Emma: What was the television doing at the beach?
Lee: Channel surfing.

“Television? The word is half Latin and half Greek. No good can come of it.” -C. P. Scott (Charles Prestwich Scott (1846 - 1932))

The English word television is derived from the Greek word ‘tele’ meaning ‘far’ or ‘at a distance’ and the Latin word ‘visio’ meaning ‘sight.’

“There was a show on television the other day that was so old . . . the cowboys were riding dinosaurs.” -Author Unknown

‘Laugh tracks’ are also known as ‘canned laughter.’ Many of the laugh tracks now used in television programs, especially sitcoms and talk shows, were recorded in the 1950’s . . . when people still knew how to laugh - and had something to laugh about.

“We can put television in its proper light by supposing that Gutenberg’s great invention had been directed at printing only comic books.” -Robert M. Hutchins

Young Lady from Trent

There was a young lady from Trent
Whose TV antenna got bent -
The neighbors went crazy;
Their screens all got hazy,
For instead of receiving, she sent!

by John Etheridge

“If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.” -Lily Tomlin (born 1939)

“I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.” -Dwight D. Eisenhower (Dwight David ‘Ike’ Eisenhower (1890 - 1968))

“Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.” -Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)

“The average American family has no time for television; people must sit and keep their eyes glued on a screen.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in the “New York Times” (1939) newspaper

“TV - a clever contraction derived from the words ‘Terrible Vaudeville’ . . . we call it a medium because nothing’s well done.” -Goodman Ace (Goodman Aiskowitz (1899 - 1982)): letter to Groucho Marx

Picture of a television with the screen reading, ‘Television must never be your only window to the world. Read a book. Go play outside. Find a hobby. Talk to somebody. Go on a daily walk. Be funny. Work on improving yourself. Plant a tree. Please know that television is not a substitute for real life. Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’

“I don’t watch television. I know better than that.” -Tom Baker

“My husband wanted one of those new big-screen TV’s for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.” -Wendy Liebman (born 1961)

“The story you have just heard is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.” -Author Unknown: “Dragnet” (1949 - 1957)

“Don’t you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There’s one marked, ‘Brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.” -Gallagher (born 1946 as Leo Anthony Gallagher)

What kinds of things on television and in movies make you laugh?

“The human race is faced with a cruel choice: get a job or watch daytime television.” -Author Unknown

“You open it with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension. A dimension of sound. A dimension of sight. A dimension of mind. You are moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.” -Rod Serling (Rodman Edward Serling (1924 - 1975)): one of the intros to the “Twilight Zone” show

“Television contracts the imagination and radio expands it.” -Terry Wogan (born 1938): as quoted in the “Observer” (December 1984) of London

World Television Day is observed on 21 November of each year.

“I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can’t stop eating peanuts.” -Orson Welles (1915 - 1985)

“Television is the triumph of machine over people.” -Fred Allen (born John Florence Sullivan (1894 - 1956))

“I never thought television would or could be a long-term commitment.” -Jimmy Smits

An estimated one in every four Americans has appeared on television, though most are not shown in close-up facial images. You might be walking down the street, standing in a line, sitting down at a sports or other entertainment event, eating lunch at a sidewalk cafe, or spending a leisurely day at a park. You won’t necessarily know that a camera is trained on you or scanning the area you are in, and in most cases, they don’t need your permission legally to do so. Most likely the video of you will be put into storage as ‘stock footage’ at a television studio, to be used at a later time to illustrate a news story. For example, a news program might do a segment on obesity. Someone will be sent to search through the stock footage until something is found that shows a sidewalk full of people walking. They will then edit the video in order to emphasize the obviously overweight people, and show it while a news commentator reads aloud some health statistics. This is just another good reason to always try to be at your best when you are out in public.

Fred: Hey, look, Helen, you’re on TV.
Helen: Fred, that’s ridiculous. I’m standing right over here - how could I possibly be on TV?

What is your favorite television show?

“Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn’t have in your home.” -David Frost (David Paradine Frost (1939 - 2013))

“Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the ‘reception’ was good.” -Author Unknown

“Not more than ten percent of the population will take up television permanently.” -Raymond Postgate (1935)

“Television won’t last because people will get tired of staring at a plywood box every night.” -Darryl F. Zanuck (Darryl Francis Zanuck (1902 - 1979)) (1946)

“Cathode-ray tubes are the most important items in a television receiver.” -John Logie Baird

TV announcer: “Our regularly scheduled program will not be seen tonight because we’ve discovered that not broadcasting anything did better in the ratings than the program itself!”

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” -Groucho Marx (Julius Henry ‘Groucho’ Marx (1890 - 1977))

“All television is educational television. The question is: What is it teaching?” -Nicholas Johnson (born 1934)

“Television programs: The junk that fills the time between commercials.” -Author Unknown

“There is a lot of hype going on about high-definition television. But is it really worth it to pay more money to see the same junk in sharper detail?” -Thomas Sowell (born 1930)

“Television is a device that permits people who haven’t anything to do to watch people who can’t do anything.” -Fred Allen (born John Florence Sullivan (1894 - 1956))

“The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely.” -T. S. Eliot (Thomas Stearns Eliot (1888 - 1965))

“TV is chewing gum for the eyes.” -Frank Lloyd Wright (born Frank Lincoln Wright (1867 - 1959))

“While theoretically and technically television may be feasible, commercially and financially I consider it an impossibility, a development of which we need waste little time or dreaming.” -Lee de Forest (1873 - 1961) (1926)

Question: What is a British cow’s favorite sci-fi television program?
Answer: Dr. Moo.

“Television is a new medium. It’s called a medium because nothing is well-done.” -Fred Allen (born John Florence Sullivan (1894 - 1956)): “The Big Show” (17 December 1950) radio program

My TV’s Under the Weather

My TV came down with a chill.
As soon as I saw it was ill
     I wrapped up its channels
     In warm Winter flannels
And gave its antenna a pill.

by Willard R. Espy (Willard Richardson Espy (1910 - 1999))

“Reality shows are fake and are just as far from reality as people can get without being permanently institutionalized.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

The Society for the Eradication of Television (SET) no longer exists, and Couch Potatoes likewise is defunct, so some of us must organize to eradicate the beastly television hobgoblin monster thing before it turns us all into gelatinous masses with non-functioning legs and permanently bloodshot eyes. Who will go forth to slay the dragon? Will it be you? How about you? You, over there, can you do it? Hey, can somebody get us some fresh batteries for the remote?

“The best show on TV can usually be found on the OFF channel.” -Author Unknown

“Television has proven that people will look at anything rather than each other.” -Ann Landers (pseudonym of Esther Pauline Friedman ‘Eppie’ Lederer (1918 - 2002))

“I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off.” -Jack Paar (Jack Harold Paar (1918 - 2004)): as quoted in “TV Guide”

“Cable TV is now evenly divided between shows about preparing food and shows about losing weight.” -Andy Borowitz

“Television: An electrical device which, when broken, stimulates conversation.” -Author Unknown

“The only thing television ever did for me was to give me a stiff neck.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“There are days when any electrical appliance in the house, including the vacuum cleaner, seems to offer more entertainment possibilities than the TV set.” -Harriet Van Horne (1920 - 1998)

“If television shows continue the way they’re going, the public will soon be demanding longer commercials.” -Author Unknown

“The smallest bookstore still contains more ideas of worth than have been presented in the entire history of television.” -Andrew Ross

“There is an educational channel. It’s called ‘off.’” -Lily Henderson: remark made at 11 years of age

“Late night T.V. is very educational. It teaches you that you should have gone to bed earlier.” -James Dent

So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
     Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
     A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
-Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990): “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” (1964)

We are MFOL! . . . for people who know there is more to life than what is shown on television screens . . . as for example, what’s coming up next . . .

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Habits and Routines

12/29/2021

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Picture of a salad alternating with a picture of a pizza and the words, ‘Habits and Routines, By David Hugh Beaumont, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’

“Consider carefully all things that you do, because a single choice - even if you tell yourself it will be only just this once - can begin the establishment of either a good habit or a bad habit.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“It takes a few weeks of work to build a new habit. Once the habit is in place, it must be guarded diligently to prevent a reversion to the old ways, but keeping watch is not stressful or difficult once the new habit is secure.” -Charlotte Mason

Good Habit

I dreamed that I found a good habit,
It scurried and skipped like a rabbit.
     It was shiny and neat,
     Polite and quite sweet,
But escaped when I reached out to grab it.

by Author Unknown

“Focus on the good habit you want to do, not the bad habit you don’t want to do. Overcome the bad with good.” -Joyce Meyer (born 1943 as Pauline Joyce Hutchison)

“All bad habits start gradually and before you know you have the habit, the habit has you.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Folks with good habits also seem to have most of the good luck.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Country Parson”

“Habits of thinking need not be forever. One of the most significant findings in psychology in the last twenty years is that individuals can choose the way they think.” -Martin Seligman (Martin E. P. ‘Marty’ Seligman (born 1942)): “Learned Optimism” (1991)

“Habits form character and character is destiny.” -Joseph Kaines: “Our Daily Faults and Failings” (21 October 1883) address

Habit

How shall I a habit break?
     As you did that habit make.
As you gathered, you must lose;
     As you yielded, now refuse.
Thread by thread the strands we twist
     Till they bind us, neck and wrist.
Thread by thread the patient hand
     Must untwine, ere free we stand.
As we builded, stone by stone,
     We must toil, unhelped, alone,
     Till the wall is overthrown.

by John Boyle O’Reilly (1844 - 1890): “A Builder’s Lesson”

“Repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Every grown-up man consists wholly of habits, although he is often unaware of it and even denies having any habits at all.” -Georges Gurdjieff (1866 - 1949)

“You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“Everybody ought to do at least two things each day that he hates to do, just for practice.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“Any act often repeated soon forms a habit: and habit allowed, steadily gains in strength. At first it may be but as the spider’s web, easily broken through, but if not resisted it soon binds us with chains of steel.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 212

“Curious things, habits. People themselves never knew they had them.” -Agatha Christie (Agatha Mary Clarissa Christie (1890 - 1976))

“Nothing is stronger than habit.” [translation to English]
“Nil consuetudine majus.” [original Latin]
-Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18)): “Ars Amatoria,” II, line 345

“Make it a point to do something every day that you don’t want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)): “Following the Equator” (1897)

“Powerful indeed is the empire of habit.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“Cultivate only the habits that you are willing should master you.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“The fixity of habit is generally in direct proportion to its absurdity.” -Marcel Proust (1871 - 1922)

Each year one vicious habit rooted out,
In time might make the worst Man good throughout.
-Benjamin Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790)): “Poor Richard’s Almanack” (1738)

“Habit, if not resisted, soon becomes necessity.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430)): as quoted in James Wood, editor: “Dictionary of Quotations from Ancient and Modern, English and Foreign Sources” (1899), page 138

“Only a habit can subdue another habit.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996)): “The Greatest Salesman in the World” (1968)

“The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones.” -W. Somerset Maugham (William Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965))

“Good habits, once established are just as hard to break as bad habits.” -Robert Puller

To rise at six, to dine at ten,
To sup at six, to sleep at ten,
Makes a man live for ten times ten.
-Author Unknown: inscription in Victor Hugo’s study

“Good habits result from resisting temptation.” -Author Unknown

“A nail is driven out by another nail, habit is overcome by habit.” [translation to English]
“Clavus clavo pellitur, consuetudo consuetudine vincitur.” [original Latin]
-Desiderius Erasmus Roterodamus (also known as Erasmus of Rotterdam or simply Erasmus (1466 - 1536)): “Diluculum”

“Old habits are strong and jealous.” -Dorothea Brande (1893 - 1948)

“Habit is a cable; we weave a thread each day, and at last we cannot break it.” -Horace Mann (1796 - 1859)

“Choose always the way that seems the best, however rough it may be; custom will soon render it easy and agreeable.” -Pythagoras of Samos (about 570 B.C.E. - about 496 B.C.E.): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, both Ancient and Modern” (1908), page 101

“It seems, in fact, as though the second half of a man’s life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half.” -Fyodor Dostoevsky (Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881))

“We are what we repeatedly do.” -Aristotle (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.)

“A habit is something you can do without thinking - which is why most of us have so many of them.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))

“Bad habits are easier to abandon today than tomorrow.” -Author Unknown: Yiddish proverb

In ways and thoughts of weakness and of wrong,
Threads turn to cords, and cords to cables strong.
-Isaac Williams (1802 - 1865): “The Baptistery, Or the Way of Eternal Life” (1842 - 1844), ‘Image 18’

“Not for nothing is habit called a second and a kind of manufactured nature.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430)): “On Music” (C.E. 389), Book VI, chapter 19

Overheard: Sorry, force of habit!

“Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)): “Pudd’nhead Wilson” (1894), chapter 15 epigraph: ‘Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar’

Ill habits gather by unseen degrees,
As brooks make rivers, rivers run to seas.
-Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18)): “Metamorphoses” (about C.E. 2), Book XV: ‘The Worship of Aesculapius, lines 155 and 156; as translated by John Dryden (1700)

“Make good habits and they will make you.” -Parks Cousins

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“A single bad habit will mar an otherwise faultless character, as an ink-drop soileth the pure white page.” -Hosea Ballou (1771 - 1852)

“The toughest habits to break are the ones we take with us from childhood.” -Charles F. Glassman: “Brain Drain: The Breakthrough That Will Change Your Life” (2009)

Habit with him was all the test of truth;
“It must be right: I’ve done it from my youth.”
-George Crabbe (1754 - 1832): “The Borough” (1810), Letter 3: ‘The Vicar’

“Folks catch bad habits the same way they catch chicken pox - by being exposed to them.” -Author Unknown

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always be what you’ve always been.” -Josh McDowell

“Conquer your bad habits or they will conquer you.” -Rob Gilbert (Robert ‘Rob’ Gilbert) at http://gilbertsuccesshotline.blogspot.com/

“To uproot an old habit is sometimes a more painful thing, and vastly more difficult, than to wrench out a tooth.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904): “Self-Help; with Illustrations of Character and Conduct” (1859), chapter 13: ‘Character: The True Gentleman’

“The will that yields the first time with some reluctance does so the second time with less hesitation, and the third time with none at all, until presently the habit is adopted.” -Henry Giles (1809 - 1882)

“We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.” -John Dryden (1631 - 1700)

“Habit is stronger than nature.” [translation to English]
“Consuetudo natura potentior est.” [original Latin]
-Quintus Curtius Rufus: “De Rebus Gestis Alexandri Magni,” V, 5, 21

“A large part of Christian virtue consists in right habits.” -William Paley (1743 - 1805)

“Habit is a compromise effected between an individual and his environment.” -Samuel Beckett (1906 - 1989): “Proust” (1930) essay

“Each day, compel yourself to do something you would rather not do.” -Author Unknown

“The best way to stop a bad habit is to never begin it.” -J. C. Penney (James Cash ‘J. C.’ Penney (1875 - 1971))

“First we form habits, then they form us.” -Rob Gilbert

“We must make automatic and habitual, as early as possible, as many useful actions as we can . . . The more of the details of our daily life we can hand over to the effortless custody of automatism, the more our higher powers of mind will be set free for their own proper work.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“The habits you practice every day will make you or break you.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“The secret to permanently breaking any bad habit is to love something greater than the habit.” -Bryant McGill (Bryant H. McGill (born 1969))

“Habit is, as it were, a second nature.” [translation to English]
“Consuetude quasi altera natura effici.” [original Latin]
-Marcus Tullius Cicero (also known as Tully or simply Cicero (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)): “De finibus bonorum et malorum” (English: “On the ends of good and evil”) (45 B.C.E.), V, 25, ‘Tusculanarum Disputationum,’ II, 17

“The worst boss anyone can have is a bad habit.” -Monta Crane (Monta Mildred (Henrichs) Crane (1911 - 2009))

“Every day do at least one good thing.” [translation to English, in English characters]
“Ichi nichi, ichi zen.” [original Japanese in English characters]
「毎日少なくとも1つ良いことをする。」[original Japanese in Japanese characters]
-Author Unknown: Japanese proverb

“Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables.” -Author Unknown

“The way you react has been repeated thousands of times, and it has become a routine for you. You are conditioned to be a certain way. And that is the challenge: to change your normal reactions, to change your routine, to take a risk and make different choices.” -Don Miguel Ruiz (pseudonym of Miguel Ángel Ruiz Macias (born 1952))

“Habit had made the custom.” [translation to English]
“Morem fecerat usus.” [original Latin]
-Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17)): “Metamorphoses,” II, line 345

“If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always gotten.” -Jane Kirkpatrick (born 1946): “What Once We Loved” (2001)

“Infinite toil would not enable you to sweep away a mist, but by ascending a little you may often look over it altogether. So it is with our moral improvement; we wrestle fiercely with a vicious habit, which could have no hold upon us if we ascended to a higher atmosphere.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875)

“Habits are formed by the repetition of particular acts. They are strengthened by an increase in the number of repeated acts. Habits are also weakened or broken, and contrary habits are formed, by the repetition of contrary acts.” -Mortimer J. Adler (Mortimer Jerome Adler (1902 - 2001))

“Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters.” -Nathanael Emmons (also spelled Nathaniel Emmons (1745 - 1840))

“Read something positive every night and listen to something helpful every morning.” -Tom Hopkins (born 1944)

“Habits change into character.” -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18))

“The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt till they are too strong to be broken.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Guardian” (May 1871) magazine, volume XXII

“Habit is more important in determining our destiny than almost any other influence.” -Author Unknown

“Have regular hours for work and play; make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will be delightful, old age will bring few regrets, and life will become a beautiful success.” -Louisa May Alcott (1832 - 1888)

“A bad habit is nothing more than a mistake repeated.” -Author Unknown

“We should get into the habit of reading inspirational books, looking at inspirational pictures, hearing inspirational music, associating with inspirational friends.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“Pursuits become habits.” [translation to English]
“Abeunt studia in mores.” [original Latin]
-Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18)): “Heroides,” XV, line 83

“It takes 3 weeks to break a habit, 6 weeks to develop a new habit, and 36 weeks to hardwire this new habit.” -Patrick Holford

“The secret of your success is hidden in your daily habits.” -Mike Murdock (born 1946)

This is MFOL! . . . perhaps purposely practicing good habits can help us be on our way to becoming better people . . .

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Choices and Decisions

12/26/2021

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Picture of a woman seated at a table between a pile of healthy vegetables and a pile of sugary candy, trying to decide on which to choose.

“You are only one decision away from a totally different life.” -Author Unknown

“You are the possessor of a great and wonderful power. This power, when properly applied, will bring confidence instead of timidity, calmness instead of confusion, poise instead of restlessness, and peace of mind in place of heartache. What is your greatest power? The power to choose.” -J. Martin Kohe (Jack Martin Kohe (1902 - 1960)): “Your Greatest Power” (1953)

“Choose well. Your choice is brief, and yet endless.” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Choices can change our lives profoundly. The choice to mend a broken relationship, to say ‘yes’ to a difficult assignment, to lay aside some important work to play with a child, to visit some forgotten person - these small choices may affect our lives eternally.” -Gloria Gaither

“There are always two choices, two paths to take. One is easy . . . and its only reward is that it’s easy.” -Author Unknown

“Sir, what is the secret of your success?” a reporter asked a bank president. “Two words.” “And, sir, what are they?” “Right decisions.” “And how do you make right decisions?” “One word.” “And, sir, what is that?” “Experience.” “And how do you get experience?” “Two words.” “And, sir, what are they?” “Wrong decisions.”

“We are living in a time when the best of things are on the Earth . . . and the worst of things. Are we taking advantage of the best of things . . . and staying away from the worst of things?” -Author Unknown

When faced with a decision, decide.
When faced with a choice, choose.
Sitting on the fence will leave you too tense,
Because you neither win nor lose!
-Barry Spilchuk (born 1957)

“Our lives are, in reality, the sum total of our seemingly unimportant decisions and of our capacity to live by those decisions.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“You can never successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.” -Author Unknown

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” -Roy Bennett: “The Light in the Heart” (25 February 2016)

“We are our choices.” -Jean-Paul Sartre (Jean-Paul Charles Aymard Sartre (1905 - 1980))

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” -J. K. Rowling (Joanne Kathleen ‘Jo’ Rowling (born 1965)): “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” (1998); line spoken by fictional character Professor Dumbledore

“Daily decisions determine destiny.” -Author Unknown

“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)): “The Innocents Abroad” (1869)

“We are a product of the choices we make, not the circumstances that we face.” -Roger Crawford

“Doing isn’t difficult. Deciding is.” -Foster Hibbard

“Between two evils, choose neither; between two goods, choose both.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 68

“The most important choice we make is what we choose to make important.” -Michael Neill

“Life is the sum of all your choices.” -Albert Camus (1913 - 1960)

“In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing to do. The worst thing you can do is nothing.” -Theodore Roosevelt (Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919))

“We make our choices, then our choices make us. Choose carefully.” -Author Unknown

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” -Denis Waitley (born 1933)

“Your life becomes the thing you have decided it shall be.” -Raymond Charles Barker

“Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to require the most from you.” -Caroline Myss (born 1952)

Overheard: It is terrible to be indecisive. I feel like a centipede that has just been told to put its best foot forward.

Now let us consider the pros and cons of making a Pros and Cons Chart . . .

Picture of a Pros and Cons Chart made from two lines in a cross-shape, with the word ‘Pros’ over the left half of the picture, and the word ‘Cons’ over the right half of the picture, and a line drawn between them from the top of the picture to the bottom.

One way to weigh your difficult decisions is to make a decision chart, on which can be listed the good points, under the word ‘Pros’ meaning ‘In Favor Of’ and bad points, under the word ‘Cons’ meaning ‘Against.’

“It is choice and not chance which determines our destiny.” -Author Unknown

“The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides.” -Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821 - 1881)

“It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires great strength to decide what to do.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

Overheard: I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not even sure about that.

Matthew: Yippee, I get to make a decision! Yahoo! I finally get to decide something!
Martha: Yes . . . so would you like liver and onions or cauliflower and tripe for dinner?

“There is but bad choice, where the whole stock is bad.” -Author Unknown

“We make our decisions, and then our decisions turn around and make us.” -R. W. Boreham

“The only way to avoid all frightening choices is to leave society and become a hermit, and that is a frightening choice.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“The best time to make a decision is before you have to make one.” -J. P. Morgan (John Pierpont Morgan, Senior (1837 - 1913))

Does it scare you when someone says to you, “It’s your decision.”?

“Make your judgement trustworthy by trusting it. You can develop good judgement as you do the muscles of your body - by judicious, daily exercise. To be known as a man of sound judgement will be much in your favor.” -Grantland Rice (Henry Grantland ‘Grantland’ Rice (1880 - 1954))

“When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that in itself is a choice.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“Don’t base your decisions on the advice of people who don’t have to deal with the result.” -Author Unknown

“The difficulty in life is the choice.” -George Augustus Moore (1852 - 1933): “The Bending of the Bough” (1900), Act IV

“It is better to make a wrong decision than build up a habit of indecision. If you’re wallowing in indecision, you certainty can’t act - and action is the basis of success.” -Marie Beynon Ray (1886 - 1969)

“Choices are the hinges of destiny.” -Pythagoras of Samos (about 570 B.C.E. - about 496 B.C.E.)

“Almost any decision is better than no decision at all.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Dwelling on past bad decisions you’ve made only allows those decisions to keep defining you. Forgive yourself and move on.” -Mandy Hale (born 1978)

“Sometimes walking away is the best decision.” -Kimberley Blaine

Decidophobia is a fear of making decisions. Perhaps one approach to overcoming the fear would be to start out with making small or minor decisions. Decide which decisions are small.

“Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want a different result, make a different choice.” -Author Unknown

“When faced with two equally tough choices, most people choose the third choice: to not choose.” -Jarod Kintz (born 1982): “This Book Title is Invisible”

“It is not so much the major events as the small day-to-day decisions that map the course of our living.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Your life is a result of the choices you make . . . If you do not like your life, it is time to start making better choices.” -Author Unknown

“My basic principle is that you don’t make decisions because they are easy; you don’t make them because they are cheap; you don’t make them because they’re popular; you make them because they’re right.” -Theodore Hesburgh (Theodore Martin Hesburgh (born 1917))

“Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.” -Author Unknown

“There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision.” -William James (1842 - 1910): “The Principles of Psychology” (1890), Chapter 4

“Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.” -Robert F. Bennett

“Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left? Five, because there’s a difference between deciding and doing.” -Mark L. Feldman & Michael F. Spratt: “Five Frogs on a Log” (1999)

“We cannot lead a choiceless life. Every day, every moment, every second, there is a choice.” -Ernest Holmes (Ernest Shurtleff Holmes (1887 - 1960))

“Decisiveness is a characteristic of high-performing men and women.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Scan. Select. Move on.” -Author Unknown

“There’s an alternative. There’s always a third way, and it’s not a combination of the other two ways - it’s a different way.” -David Carradine (born John Arthur Carradine (1936 - 2009))

“Remember this, the choices you make in life, make you.” -John Wooden (1910 - 2010)

“You make what seems a simple choice: choose a spouse or a job or a neighborhood - and what you have chosen is not a spouse or a job or a neighborhood but a life.” -Jessamyn West

“Weigh well what you can only once decide.” -Author Unknown

“You’ve got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you’re not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice.” -Steven D. Woodhull (born 1976)

“Nothing is so exhausting as indecision, and nothing is so futile.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970)): “The Conquest of Happiness” (1930)

“Indecisiveness is the key to flexibility.” -Author Unknown

“Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.” -Rita Mae Brown (born 1944)

“Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” -Stephen Covey (Stephen Richards Covey (1932 - 2012))

“Make choices today you can live with tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.” -Elizabeth Kübler-Ross (1926 - 2004)

“We almost always have choices, and the better the choice, the more we will be in control of our lives.” -William Glasser (1925 - 2013)

“Some decisions in life are difficult, like when you are asked if you will trade your truck-load of bananas for a car-load of monkeys.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.” -Keri Russell

“We are the choices we make.” -Meryl Streep

This is MFOL! . . . perhaps the best decision you will make today . . . or maybe just the easiest. . . you get to decide . . .

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Affirmations and Self-Talk

12/24/2021

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Picture of a person’s hand with a thumbs-up gesture and the words, ‘All is well in my world.’

I fill my mind with positive thoughts that create positive outcomes.

What are affirmations? Affirmations are expressions that can transform your life by influencing the way you think about yourself, others, and the world around you. When you change how you think, you change how you speak and how you act, and the results can be immensely rewarding.

Today, I will concentrate on taking one step forward, however small it might be.

“An affirmation is a strong, positive statement that something is already so.” -Shakti Gawain

Today I will be the best me that I know how to be.

Following is the ‘formula’ first used at the clinic of psychologist Émile Coué in Nancy, France. What he called his ‘formula’ was an affirmation, which he prescribed to his patients, to be repeated by them 15 to 20 times in the morning and again in the evening of each day:

“Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” -Émile Coué (Émile Coué de la Châtaigneraie (1857 - 1926)): “How to Practice Suggestion and Autosuggestion” (1923)

A limerick may provide further insight:

On Monsieur Coué

This very remarkable man
Commends a most practical plan:
You can do what you want
If you don’t think you can’t,
So don’t think you can’t - think you can.

by Charles Cuthbert Inge (1868 - 1957): “The Week-end Book” (1928), page 217

I am intelligent and capable of success in any endeavor which I may choose.

“As long as you know what it is you desire, then by simply affirming that it is yours - firmly and positively, with no ifs, buts, or maybes - over and over again, from the minute you arise in the morning until the time you go to sleep at night, and as many times during the day as your work or activities permit, you will be drawn to those people, places, and events that will bring your desires to you.” -Scott Reed

I have confidence.

New opportunities are calling to me and I am ready to answer the call.

You can create your own affirmations, or select affirmations from those found in this topic that you believe best apply to you and your particular circumstances. Write your affirmations on a piece of paper, and place it where you will be sure to read it daily, as for example, on your car dashboard, on your refrigerator door, or on your bedroom mirror. You could also type affirmations into your cell phone or other device. If you keep a diary or journal, consider challenging yourself to write a new affirmation in it for each day.

What I have done before I can do again, even better.

“I am optimistic and confident in all that I do. I affirm only the best for myself and others. I am the creator of my life and my world. I meet daily challenges gracefully and with complete confidence. I fill my mind with positive, nurturing, and healing thoughts.” -Alice Potter

I like fresh salads.

“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief, and once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.” -Claude M. Bristol (Claude Myron Bristol (1891 - 1951)): “The Magic of Believing” (1948)

I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.

“I am - the two most powerful words in the world, for whatever we put after them becomes our reality.” -Susan Howson

I am worthy of the respect, attention, and love that I receive from others.

“You are what you think about all day long.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

I feel good about myself.

I am good enough.

“Change your thoughts, and you change your world.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993): as quoted in Richard Shea, editor: “The Book of Success” (1993)

I see the best in myself and others.

I have the confidence to try new things.

Picture of a multicolored background and the words, ‘I am amazing just the way I am. My possibilities are endless. With love and grace, I move forward, embracing new beginnings. I will visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net to learn about affirmations.’

I am stronger than everything that happened in the past.
I am stronger than my present circumstances.
I am strong today and will be even stronger tomorrow.

“Affirmations are a form of thought training - training oneself how to think, just as running every day conditions an athlete to compete in a footrace, or studying every day prepares a student for a test.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

I appreciate and acknowledge the participation and contributions of others.

I love who I am and what I do.

“Talk to yourself positively all the time. Keep repeating, ‘I can do it! I can do it!’ until your fears disappear.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

I can face my fears and work to overcome them.

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

I focus on what I can do right now.

“What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“I’m not here to be average, I’m here to be awesome!” -Author Unknown

The ghosts of my past can no longer haunt me.

I enjoy saving money and investing money.

“I really like who I am.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “Star Trek,” ‘Loud as a Whisper’ (9 January 1989); line of fictional character Geordi Laforge portrayed by actor LeVar Burton

I will remain confident and unaffected by negative attitudes around me.

Life is good and getting better.

“I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.” -Watty Piper (pseudonym of Arnold H. Munk (1886 - 1957)): “The Little Engine That Could” (1930)

I am patient with myself.

I begin working on tasks the moment the thought of the tasks occurs to me.

“What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” -Otto Rank (1884 - 1939)

I can live my life without knowing all of the answers.

“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” -attributed to Solomon: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Book of Proverbs,’ chapter 23, verse 7

I feel happiness and joy just from being alive.

“If my mind can conceive it and my heart can believe it I know I can achieve it.” -Author Unknown

I am able to relax and maintain good form when around strangers or in unfamiliar situations.

I can help others without expecting them to give me anything in return.

I am at peace with myself and the Universe.

“Affirmations provide a way to inoculate against negative thinking.” -Author Unknown

I will live as if my dreams are possible, and work each day to make them happen.

Every word you speak and every thought you think is an affirmation for your future.” -Cheryl Richardson at http://www.cherylrichardson.com/

I like who I am becoming.

I speak with confidence and calm assurance.

What is self-talk? Self-talk is simply another term for affirmations. You can choose to say affirmations aloud, or say them silently to yourself, or write them on paper or read them.

I keep myself in excellent physical condition.

I always have time for my friends.

Picture of a television or computer screen displaying the words, ‘Thoughts Have Power, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’

I am a good person.

I am in charge of my feelings, and today I am choosing happiness.

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” -Brené Brown

I feel great when I go on a walk.

I am a responsible person.

“The most influential person who will talk to you all day is you, so you should be very careful about what you say to you!” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

Today I am planting the seeds of new beginnings.

I am a friendly person.

“Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

I am doing pretty good - how can I do better?

I seek new adventures.

“I am in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017)) at www.louisehay.com

I can learn how to live with pain so that I can get what I want from my life.

“My life is my business. I don’t let somebody else run it.” -Author Unknown

“Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

I am too blessed to be stressed!

If we are what we think about, what should we think about?

“Watch your manner of speech if you wish to develop a peaceful state of mind. Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented and happy attitudes and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

I am a good listener.

I am divinely guided in all that I do.

“Our minds can shape the way a thing will be because we act according to our expectations.” -Federico Fellini (1920 - 1993)

I will imagine the best and focus on that.

I am living in the present moment: the here and now.

“Say affirmations ‘as if’ they were already a reality.” -Author Unknown

I can enjoy leisure without guilt and anxiety.

I am ready to begin moving forward in the direction of what my heart desires.

“An affirmation is simply a positive declaration of something you believe to be true or something you expect to become true and desire to live by. Affirmations transform your thinking, your attitudes, and finally, your behavior. Their impact on attitudes and behavior help to produce the results you desire.” -Paul J. Meyer (Paul James Meyer, Senior (1928 - 2009)) at https://pauljmeyer.com/

I can handle criticism with ease.

Today I view my childhood without shame.

“Affirmations are not bound up in rules. An affirmation can be long or short, poetic or plain. If you love a phrase and find that it helps you, that is a valid affirmation.” -Eric Maisel

I am a friend to myself. I love me.

I am ready for a fresh start, a new perspective, and an ‘I can do it’ attitude.

At MFOL! our affirmation is, “We are funny today, and we will be even funnier tomorrow!”

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