The Ministry of Silly Walks is a British Government agency tasked with devising funny ways of walking. It is a fictional creation of the Monty Python comedy troupe, made for a segment in “Monty Python’s Flying Circus,” season 2, episode 14, titled ‘Face the Press,’ which first aired on television in 1970. The creation is commemorated on 7 January of each year in various locales around the world as International Silly Walks Day.
In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of five times around the Earth’s equator. Be sure to pick up some coconuts and bananas while you are there.
“If you walk backwards, you’ll never stub your toe.” -Harvey McKay
Humans are the ‘walking animals.’ We were made to walk all day, originally as hunter-gatherers. We were not made to sit or lay about all day. In fact, being sedentary, or inactive, for too long weakens us by causing everything from bone mass loss to muscle atrophy. So, to maintain good physical fitness, walk a little or a lot, every single day, just like your long-ago ancestors did.
There was an old person of Deal,
Who in walking used only his heel;
When they said, “Tell us why?”
He made no reply,
That mysterious old person of Deal.
-Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872)
Riddle: What has one hundred legs but cannot walk?
Solution: Fifty pairs of pants.
Amish men take about 18,425 steps per day. Amish women take about 14,196. The average American adult takes about 4,000 steps per day. Only 4 percent of Amish are obese, compared to 31 percent of the general American population.
“All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)): “Twilight of the Idols” (1888)
‘Walking’ is also known as ‘ambulating.’ The word ‘walk’ is derived from the Old English word ‘wealcan’ meaning ‘to roll’ . . . which brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Let’s roll!”
“Walking isn’t really a lost art. One must by some such means get to the garage or parking place.” -Herbert V. Prochnow (Herbert Victor Prochnow (1897 - 1998))
It would take about 225 million years to walk one lightyear, at the pace of 20 minutes a mile. We had better get started now if we are going to make it before dark.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Otis.
Otis, who?
Otis a wonderful day for a walk in the park!
With the Earth being about 40,234 kilometers (25,000 miles) in circumference and the average walking rate being 4.99 kilometers (3.1 miles) per hour, it would take a person walking nonstop approximately 336 days to walk around the world, assuming that he or she did not sleep and could walk on the water’s surface as well as the land.
“You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over.” -Richard Branson (Richard Charles Nicholas Branson (born 1950))
Ambulophobia is a persistent fear of walking. If you have this phobia and amaxophobia, a persistent fear of riding in a vehicle, you are pretty much not going anywhere ever, which in itself is a frightening thought.
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” -Fred Allen (John Florence Sullivan (1894 - 1956))
Are walking tours available to you in your community? Walking tours are typically organized with a tour leader and a group of participants, who walk through an area for sightseeing, to sample foods and beverages at local eateries, to visit galleries and museums, to explore parks and gardens, or to learn about landmarks and history. Walking groups can be organized for physical fitness and exercise as well.
“An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862): “Journals” (1838 - 1859), ‘20 April 1840’
Humans became bipedal between three and six million years ago. Scientists believe that humans started walking on two legs to carry objects better and to use energy more efficiently. It also gives them a better view of their surroundings.
“If the Good Lord intended for us to walk, he wouldn’t have invented roller-skates.” -Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990)
There was a young girl of Majorca
Whose aunt was a very fast walker;
She walked sixty miles
And leaped fifteen stiles,
Which astonished that girl of Majorca.
-Edward Lear (1812 - 1888): “A Book of Nonsense” (1846), limerick 101
(A stile is a type of gate in a fence or a wall that livestock such as cattle and sheep cannot step over or through, but which people can step over or through.
A woman went out for a walk. She came to a river and could not see a bridge anywhere. She spotted another woman on the opposite bank of the river and she shouted to her, “How can I get to the other side?!” The second woman looked up the river and down the river, and then shouted back, “You’re already on the other side!”
There was an old person of Wilts,
Who constantly walked upon stilts;
He wreathed them with lilies
And daffy-down-dillies,
That elegant person of Wilts.
-Edward Lear (1812 - 1888)
“After a day’s walk everything has twice its usual value.” -George Macaulay Trevelyan (1876 - 1962)
The longest walk around the world was completed by a former neon-sign salesman named Jean Béliveau (born 18 August 1955). He walked 46,600 miles around 64 countries. The trip took him 11 years and 2 months, from 18 August 2000 until 16 October 2011.
“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))
“There is nothing like walking to get the feel of a country. A fine landscape is like a piece of music; it must be taken at the right tempo. Even a bicycle goes too fast.” -Paul Scott Mowrer (1887 - 1971)
“A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world.” -Paul Dudley White (1886 - 1973)
McGee: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
O’Neill: To get away from the sound.
Walking may help decrease the risk of heart attack, decrease the risk of developing type 2 diabetes, and may even reduce the risk of bone fracture. Additionally, brisk walking may reduce stress and depression levels, and possibly improve cancer survival rates.
“In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks.” -John Muir (1838 - 1914)
“Me thinks that the moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)
Experts suggest walking 6,000 steps a day to improve health and 10,000 steps a day to lose weight - but who among us counts their steps? Small pedometers that use electromechanical switches can be worn on the hip to count steps, and GPS-enabled devices, including some cell phones, can be equipped with ‘aps’ to measure distance.
“Few people know how to take a walk. The qualifications are endurance, plain clothes, old shoes, an eye for nature, good humor, vast curiosity, good speech, good silence, and nothing too much.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
Experts note that when shopping for walking shoes, you should always buy shoes that feel comfortable right away. There is no “breaking-in period.” Also, feet swell during the day, so it is important to get fitted for walking shoes at the end of the day when feet are their largest.
“Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it.” -Plato (427 B.C.E. - 347 B.C.E.)
Scientists believe that walking was originated underwater by ‘hopping’ air-breathing fish.
“One step at a time is good walking.” -Author Unknown: Chinese proverb
“Locomotion: Moving in a crazy fashion.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
[-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-]
Walking Woes
I’m sick and tired of walking,
Walking here and there
Walking to and fro,
Walking everywhere!
Tomorrow I won’t walk at all,
I’m going to see it through,
I know I’ll have to get to school
But walking I won’t do!
I’ll stomp downstairs,
Creep through the door
And amble down the street
I’ll wander round the corner
And traipse on my two feet!
I’ll plod, strut, limp, and march,
I’ll stroll and hike and roam.
I’ll saunter, trek, and shuffle,
As I trudge away from home.
I’ll meander past the school gates,
And toddle through the door,
I’ll lumber to my classroom,
And then I’ll walk no more!
by J. Shaw
[-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-]
“All walking is discovery. On foot we take the time to see things whole.” -Hal Borland
As with any changes in lifestyle, you may need to consult a physician and other experts before beginning a program of walking or other activities that could impact any existing health condition you might have and your personal safety. That is just something we have to tell people for their own good and so they know that we are not advising any person to undertake activities that could place a person at risk of harm . . . okey-dokey, then.
“If you only walk on sunny days, you’ll never reach your destination.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)
Racewalking has been an official Olympic sport for more than 90 years. The course distances vary from 1.6 kilometers (1 mile) to 153 kilometers (95 miles).
“Walking: The action of repeatedly falling forward and then catching oneself each time with the foot and leg before one’s face can strike the ground.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“I can’t bring myself to say, ‘Well, I guess I’ll be toddling along.’ It isn’t that I can’t toddle. It’s just that I can’t guess I’ll toddle.” -Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)
The best way to lose weight by walking is to take a longer, moderately paced walk (40 minutes at 60 to 65 percent maximum heart rate). Shorter, faster walks (20 to 25 minutes at 75 percent to 85 percent maximum heart rate) are best for conditioning the heart and lungs.
“Many a false step is taken by standing still.” -Arnold Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))
“Above all do not lose your desire to walk. Every day, I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from every illness. I have walked myself into my best thoughts and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it. But by sitting still, and the more one sits still, the closer one comes to feeling ill . . . if one keeps on walking everything will be alright.” - Søren Kierkegaard (Søren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813 - 1855))
“Thoughts come clearly while one walks.” -Thomas Mann
“It is impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy.” -Teresa of Calcutta (also known as Mother Teresa, born Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997))
You are now free to move away from your computer and go outside for a walk . . . unless you are a passenger in a flying airplane . . .
In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of five times around the Earth’s equator. Be sure to pick up some coconuts and bananas while you are there.
“If you walk backwards, you’ll never stub your toe.” -Harvey McKay
Humans are the ‘walking animals.’ We were made to walk all day, originally as hunter-gatherers. We were not made to sit or lay about all day. In fact, being sedentary, or inactive, for too long weakens us by causing everything from bone mass loss to muscle atrophy. So, to maintain good physical fitness, walk a little or a lot, every single day, just like your long-ago ancestors did.
There was an old person of Deal,
Who in walking used only his heel;
When they said, “Tell us why?”
He made no reply,
That mysterious old person of Deal.
-Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872)
Riddle: What has one hundred legs but cannot walk?
Solution: Fifty pairs of pants.
Amish men take about 18,425 steps per day. Amish women take about 14,196. The average American adult takes about 4,000 steps per day. Only 4 percent of Amish are obese, compared to 31 percent of the general American population.
“All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)): “Twilight of the Idols” (1888)
‘Walking’ is also known as ‘ambulating.’ The word ‘walk’ is derived from the Old English word ‘wealcan’ meaning ‘to roll’ . . . which brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Let’s roll!”
“Walking isn’t really a lost art. One must by some such means get to the garage or parking place.” -Herbert V. Prochnow (Herbert Victor Prochnow (1897 - 1998))
It would take about 225 million years to walk one lightyear, at the pace of 20 minutes a mile. We had better get started now if we are going to make it before dark.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Otis.
Otis, who?
Otis a wonderful day for a walk in the park!
With the Earth being about 40,234 kilometers (25,000 miles) in circumference and the average walking rate being 4.99 kilometers (3.1 miles) per hour, it would take a person walking nonstop approximately 336 days to walk around the world, assuming that he or she did not sleep and could walk on the water’s surface as well as the land.
“You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over.” -Richard Branson (Richard Charles Nicholas Branson (born 1950))
Ambulophobia is a persistent fear of walking. If you have this phobia and amaxophobia, a persistent fear of riding in a vehicle, you are pretty much not going anywhere ever, which in itself is a frightening thought.
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” -Fred Allen (John Florence Sullivan (1894 - 1956))
Are walking tours available to you in your community? Walking tours are typically organized with a tour leader and a group of participants, who walk through an area for sightseeing, to sample foods and beverages at local eateries, to visit galleries and museums, to explore parks and gardens, or to learn about landmarks and history. Walking groups can be organized for physical fitness and exercise as well.
“An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862): “Journals” (1838 - 1859), ‘20 April 1840’
Humans became bipedal between three and six million years ago. Scientists believe that humans started walking on two legs to carry objects better and to use energy more efficiently. It also gives them a better view of their surroundings.
“If the Good Lord intended for us to walk, he wouldn’t have invented roller-skates.” -Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990)
There was a young girl of Majorca
Whose aunt was a very fast walker;
She walked sixty miles
And leaped fifteen stiles,
Which astonished that girl of Majorca.
-Edward Lear (1812 - 1888): “A Book of Nonsense” (1846), limerick 101
(A stile is a type of gate in a fence or a wall that livestock such as cattle and sheep cannot step over or through, but which people can step over or through.
A woman went out for a walk. She came to a river and could not see a bridge anywhere. She spotted another woman on the opposite bank of the river and she shouted to her, “How can I get to the other side?!” The second woman looked up the river and down the river, and then shouted back, “You’re already on the other side!”
There was an old person of Wilts,
Who constantly walked upon stilts;
He wreathed them with lilies
And daffy-down-dillies,
That elegant person of Wilts.
-Edward Lear (1812 - 1888)
“After a day’s walk everything has twice its usual value.” -George Macaulay Trevelyan (1876 - 1962)
The longest walk around the world was completed by a former neon-sign salesman named Jean Béliveau (born 18 August 1955). He walked 46,600 miles around 64 countries. The trip took him 11 years and 2 months, from 18 August 2000 until 16 October 2011.
“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))
“There is nothing like walking to get the feel of a country. A fine landscape is like a piece of music; it must be taken at the right tempo. Even a bicycle goes too fast.” -Paul Scott Mowrer (1887 - 1971)
“A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world.” -Paul Dudley White (1886 - 1973)
McGee: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
O’Neill: To get away from the sound.
Walking may help decrease the risk of heart attack, decrease the risk of developing type 2 diabetes, and may even reduce the risk of bone fracture. Additionally, brisk walking may reduce stress and depression levels, and possibly improve cancer survival rates.
“In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks.” -John Muir (1838 - 1914)
“Me thinks that the moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)
Experts suggest walking 6,000 steps a day to improve health and 10,000 steps a day to lose weight - but who among us counts their steps? Small pedometers that use electromechanical switches can be worn on the hip to count steps, and GPS-enabled devices, including some cell phones, can be equipped with ‘aps’ to measure distance.
“Few people know how to take a walk. The qualifications are endurance, plain clothes, old shoes, an eye for nature, good humor, vast curiosity, good speech, good silence, and nothing too much.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
Experts note that when shopping for walking shoes, you should always buy shoes that feel comfortable right away. There is no “breaking-in period.” Also, feet swell during the day, so it is important to get fitted for walking shoes at the end of the day when feet are their largest.
“Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it.” -Plato (427 B.C.E. - 347 B.C.E.)
Scientists believe that walking was originated underwater by ‘hopping’ air-breathing fish.
“One step at a time is good walking.” -Author Unknown: Chinese proverb
“Locomotion: Moving in a crazy fashion.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
[-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-]
Walking Woes
I’m sick and tired of walking,
Walking here and there
Walking to and fro,
Walking everywhere!
Tomorrow I won’t walk at all,
I’m going to see it through,
I know I’ll have to get to school
But walking I won’t do!
I’ll stomp downstairs,
Creep through the door
And amble down the street
I’ll wander round the corner
And traipse on my two feet!
I’ll plod, strut, limp, and march,
I’ll stroll and hike and roam.
I’ll saunter, trek, and shuffle,
As I trudge away from home.
I’ll meander past the school gates,
And toddle through the door,
I’ll lumber to my classroom,
And then I’ll walk no more!
by J. Shaw
[-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-] [-]
“All walking is discovery. On foot we take the time to see things whole.” -Hal Borland
As with any changes in lifestyle, you may need to consult a physician and other experts before beginning a program of walking or other activities that could impact any existing health condition you might have and your personal safety. That is just something we have to tell people for their own good and so they know that we are not advising any person to undertake activities that could place a person at risk of harm . . . okey-dokey, then.
“If you only walk on sunny days, you’ll never reach your destination.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)
Racewalking has been an official Olympic sport for more than 90 years. The course distances vary from 1.6 kilometers (1 mile) to 153 kilometers (95 miles).
“Walking: The action of repeatedly falling forward and then catching oneself each time with the foot and leg before one’s face can strike the ground.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“I can’t bring myself to say, ‘Well, I guess I’ll be toddling along.’ It isn’t that I can’t toddle. It’s just that I can’t guess I’ll toddle.” -Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)
The best way to lose weight by walking is to take a longer, moderately paced walk (40 minutes at 60 to 65 percent maximum heart rate). Shorter, faster walks (20 to 25 minutes at 75 percent to 85 percent maximum heart rate) are best for conditioning the heart and lungs.
“Many a false step is taken by standing still.” -Arnold Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))
“Above all do not lose your desire to walk. Every day, I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from every illness. I have walked myself into my best thoughts and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it. But by sitting still, and the more one sits still, the closer one comes to feeling ill . . . if one keeps on walking everything will be alright.” - Søren Kierkegaard (Søren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813 - 1855))
“Thoughts come clearly while one walks.” -Thomas Mann
“It is impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy.” -Teresa of Calcutta (also known as Mother Teresa, born Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997))
You are now free to move away from your computer and go outside for a walk . . . unless you are a passenger in a flying airplane . . .
