“True love is like a pair of socks: you gotta have two and they’ve gotta match.” -Erich Fromm (Erich Seligmann Fromm (1900 - 1980))
“I could always use more socks.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Wishes And Wishing” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Socks don’t grow on trees, you know.” -Author Unknown: fatherly wisdom
Said Dorothy Hughes to Helen Hocking
Said Dorothy Hughes to Helen Hocking,
“I can’t for the life of me get on this stocking!”
“Would it help if you first removed your shoes?”
Said Helen Hocking to Dorothy Hughes.
By William Jay Smith (1918 - 2015)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poetry” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Donald: What a strange pair of socks you’re wearing; one sock is green and the other sock is blue.
Donna: Yes, they’re strange, and to add to the strangeness of it all, I have a second pair just like them back at home.
Patient: What do you have if your head is hot, one foot is cold, and you see spots before your eyes?
Doctor: You have a polka-dotted sock over your head.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Doctors And Health Practitioners” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“I got up one morning and couldn’t find my socks, so I called Information. She said, “Hello, Information.” I said, “I can’t find my socks.” She said, “They’re behind the couch.” And they were!” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))
“Happiness is . . . finding a missing sock.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about How to Be Happy” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Tall tale: The people of Texas are known for wearing the world’s biggest socks, sometimes so big that, when worn, only the person’s head from the eyes up is visible. They then top this off with a ten-gallon hat.
“A man is about thirty-eight before he stockpiles enough socks to be able to get one matching pair.” -Merrily Harpur
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Life and Living” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Common Complaints from Socks
- There is too much static cling in the clothes dryer.
- It’s boring in the sock drawer.
- You never take us to any of the places other socks get to go to.
- It’s cramped and stuffy inside shoes.
- It’s always work, work, work - and the only fun we ever have is at Christmastime!
- The sock with the hole in it is always getting all the attention.
What else might socks have to complain about?
David: What do you call people who sleep in their socks?
Goliath: Tiny.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Sleep and Sleeping” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Here is a great title for a song: Owner of a Missing Sock. Now we just need you to write the lyrics and set them to music.
“Consistently losing socks in the clothes washer and dryer while also finding coins in the machines leads one to the inevitable conclusion that somewhere in the works lurks a Sock Fairy.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Beaumont’s Quotations” by David Hugh Beaumont.
“I could always use more socks.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Wishes And Wishing” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Socks don’t grow on trees, you know.” -Author Unknown: fatherly wisdom
Said Dorothy Hughes to Helen Hocking
Said Dorothy Hughes to Helen Hocking,
“I can’t for the life of me get on this stocking!”
“Would it help if you first removed your shoes?”
Said Helen Hocking to Dorothy Hughes.
By William Jay Smith (1918 - 2015)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poetry” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Donald: What a strange pair of socks you’re wearing; one sock is green and the other sock is blue.
Donna: Yes, they’re strange, and to add to the strangeness of it all, I have a second pair just like them back at home.
Patient: What do you have if your head is hot, one foot is cold, and you see spots before your eyes?
Doctor: You have a polka-dotted sock over your head.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Doctors And Health Practitioners” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“I got up one morning and couldn’t find my socks, so I called Information. She said, “Hello, Information.” I said, “I can’t find my socks.” She said, “They’re behind the couch.” And they were!” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))
“Happiness is . . . finding a missing sock.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about How to Be Happy” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Tall tale: The people of Texas are known for wearing the world’s biggest socks, sometimes so big that, when worn, only the person’s head from the eyes up is visible. They then top this off with a ten-gallon hat.
“A man is about thirty-eight before he stockpiles enough socks to be able to get one matching pair.” -Merrily Harpur
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Life and Living” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Common Complaints from Socks
- There is too much static cling in the clothes dryer.
- It’s boring in the sock drawer.
- You never take us to any of the places other socks get to go to.
- It’s cramped and stuffy inside shoes.
- It’s always work, work, work - and the only fun we ever have is at Christmastime!
- The sock with the hole in it is always getting all the attention.
What else might socks have to complain about?
David: What do you call people who sleep in their socks?
Goliath: Tiny.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Sleep and Sleeping” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Here is a great title for a song: Owner of a Missing Sock. Now we just need you to write the lyrics and set them to music.
“Consistently losing socks in the clothes washer and dryer while also finding coins in the machines leads one to the inevitable conclusion that somewhere in the works lurks a Sock Fairy.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Beaumont’s Quotations” by David Hugh Beaumont.
Jackie: Why was the potato wearing socks?
Jillian: To keep her pota-toes warm.
Jillian: To keep her pota-toes warm.
Where Do Missing Socks Go?
In this critical piece of investigative reporting, we will explore a serious issue: Where do missing socks go? Can they find their way home?
It has happened to everyone. You do a load of laundry. You wash and then dry. When you go to fold the laundry, you no longer have a pair of socks. You just have one lonesome sock. Where did its partner go? You look everywhere. You retrace your steps. You go back to the washer, back to the dryer, scope out the floors, look in the laundry basket - but no sock. Where did it go?
This can be a desperate situation. Studies have shown that if the missing sock does not reappear within the first 31 hours, your chances of finding that sock decrease by 90 percent. Okay, we just made that up, but whatever. You probably are not going to find that sock. Let us attempt to solve this mystery.
The first 24 hours are critical. The best strategy in a crisis situation such as this one is to think like a sock. Imagine to yourself, “If I were a sock, where would I go?” Would you go behind the dryer, or would you get stuck in the sleeve of a sweatshirt? Maybe. But what if your sock is a rebel? Maybe your sock was tired of being less important than other clothes. Maybe your sock had bigger dreams. Perhaps the other socks in the drawer were hampering that sock’s personal development. Maybe your missing sock had an opportunity to leave and took that opportunity!
You must consider the possibility that your sock is now living the good life elsewhere. Yes, your sock is famous now. Your sock is part of the local sock puppet theater! It happens all the time. Your renegade sock was tired of being confined to the sock drawer or being worn on your foot. Would you want to do that? Imagine being worn on a foot all day! Imagine being forced into uncomfortable shoes all the time! What kind of life is that? Can you blame your beloved sock for leaving you and the other socks behind? Of course not! That sock is living a dream now!
The bottom line is, if you do not find that sock within the short window of time, your chances are slim to none that you are bringing it back. Once that sock has a taste of freedom, it is impossible to make that sock return to live such a humiliating and boring existence.
Other theories abound, of course. Not everyone buys into the rebel sock theory. Yes, there are always doubters when an incredible new idea emerges. Your friends, family, and neighbors will probably tell you not to give up. They will tell you encouraging phrases like, “Maybe that sock ended up wrapped in a set of sheets in the back of your linen closet. Maybe that sock is under the dryer. Maybe your pet grabbed the sock out of the basket and is using it as a chew toy.” Then there is that line from your one odd uncle who keeps trying to be helpful or funny but hasn’t yet mastered the concept of empathy or of humor: “Maybe your sock ran away with the spoon.” The list can go on and on.
On 9 May of each year, we pause and reflect, as we observe Lost Sock Day, in honor of all the socks that have gone missing, and all the socks that have lost a sock buddy. Where, oh where did our little sock go? Will the world ever know how we miss our missing sock so?
by Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of this article, or click or tap on these words to visit the Essays Page.
“When a sock has a hole in it, the Sock Fairy, who lives in a secret compartment inside Clothes Dryer, absconds with the sock and leaves a penny, paper clip, or other small gift in exchange at some random place, such as on a sidewalk, for the missing-sock person to find. However, sometimes Sock Fairy will not wait for a sock to develop a hole in it, especially if a sock is just too wonderful to pass up, by Sock Fairy standards.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966): “If You Believe in Fairy Tales”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Fairies and Faeries” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Where Do Missing Socks Go?
- The Island of Lost Socks
- They make their way through the drains in washing machines and eventually end up in the cold seas near the Earth’s poles, where the fish wear them as warm, fun, and sometimes colorful sweaters.
- Planet of the Socks
- They enlist in the Sock Secret Service and go deep undercover in the laundry pile.
- Traveling Sock Puppet Theater
Where do you suspect missing socks go?
Jeff: Why do golfers wear two pairs of socks?
Fred: In case they get a hole in one!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Golf and Golfing” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“Meanwhile, in a parallel universe, someone can be heard thinking aloud, ‘Where do all these unmatched single socks keep coming from?’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Dexter: Why should you buy socks with holes in them?
Baxter: It’s the only way you can get your feet into them.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Shopping” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“His socks compelled one’s attention without losing one’s respect.” -H. H. Munro (Hector Hugh Munro, also known by the pseudonym Saki (1870 - 1916))
Question: What do sock puppets eat?
Answer: Finger foods.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Mealtimes and Eating” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Fairies and Faeries” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Where Do Missing Socks Go?
- The Island of Lost Socks
- They make their way through the drains in washing machines and eventually end up in the cold seas near the Earth’s poles, where the fish wear them as warm, fun, and sometimes colorful sweaters.
- Planet of the Socks
- They enlist in the Sock Secret Service and go deep undercover in the laundry pile.
- Traveling Sock Puppet Theater
Where do you suspect missing socks go?
Jeff: Why do golfers wear two pairs of socks?
Fred: In case they get a hole in one!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Golf and Golfing” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“Meanwhile, in a parallel universe, someone can be heard thinking aloud, ‘Where do all these unmatched single socks keep coming from?’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Dexter: Why should you buy socks with holes in them?
Baxter: It’s the only way you can get your feet into them.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Shopping” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“His socks compelled one’s attention without losing one’s respect.” -H. H. Munro (Hector Hugh Munro, also known by the pseudonym Saki (1870 - 1916))
Question: What do sock puppets eat?
Answer: Finger foods.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Mealtimes and Eating” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Bret: Why was the elephant walking around in his socks?
Bert: Because he couldn’t find his shoes!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Elephants” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Maribel: What did the sock say to the foot?
Clarabelle: “You’re putting me on.”
A ‘sock hop’ is an informal dance event for teenagers, usually held at a school, in which hard-soled shoes are removed to protect the floor from damage.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Dance and Dancing” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Kevin: What kind of socks do pirates wear?
Vincent: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgyle!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Pirates” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Do you have a sock drawer, or do you simply stuff your socks into any available and otherwise unused space? Here’s a great way to store clean socks: Simply stuff socks into shoes.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Housekeeping and Housecleaning” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Emmaline: What do you call a rich sock maker?
Evangeline: Sock-cessful.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poverty and Prosperity” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Alternative Uses for Socks and Stockings
- Emergency mittens for cold days.
- Hang them by the chimney in hopes that Saint Nicholas soon will be there.
- Roll socks up into balls and use for juggling practice.
- Slip extra shoes inside baggy old socks when traveling.
- Make sock puppets.
- Use socks to store small valuables, such as gemstones, coins from around the world, or individually-wrapped butterscotch candies.
- Walk, march, or slide - but don’t run - around in clean socks on a dirty floor to try to clean it.
- Sew or glue soles to socks to make sock-shoes.
- Wear socks or stockings between your feet and your shoes.
- Get your entire village together to bring their socks to a single location so that all of you can make the world’s biggest pile of socks and become famous for achieving a new world record.
Can you think of other uses for socks?
Justina: How can a sock be empty but still have something in it?
Paulina: When it has a hole in it.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Riddles and Puzzles” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Possible New Sock Holidays
- Be Kind To Socks Day
- Free Pair Of Socks Day
- Matching Socks Day
- Sock Appreciation Day
- Take Your Socks For A Walk Day
- Thank A Sock Day
Can you think of more new sock holidays?
Today is International Wash Your Socks Day . . . well, not really . . . but what if it was?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Laundry” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“You have reached the Missing Socks Detective Agency. Jenson speaking. How may I help you?” “The Sock Burglar took my sock! I was awakened in the night by the rustling of tiny wings, and there was the Sock Burglar, flying out my open window with it!” “Relax and rest assured we’ll be right over and on the case. Right now, let’s discuss fees. We charge two desk lamps plus a 3-meter extension cord and 3 ham-and-cheese sandwiches with mustard and pickles as a retainer, and an additional 400 green stamps a day until the case is solved. Can you afford us?” “Yes, yes, I’ve got to have my missing sock returned to me!”
Joey: What did one sock say to the other sock?
Chloe: “Hi, nice toe meet you.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Meeting And Parting” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Always wear clean socks when you go out, just in case you should get run over by a truck.” -Author Unknown: motherly advice
Amberly: What kind of socks do gardeners wear?
Kimberly: Garden hose.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Gardens and Gardening” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Give me the gift of a grip top sock,
A drip-drape, ship-shape, tip-top sock,
And all the better if it has spots - say . . .
Sam’s Sock Shop stocks short spotted socks!
-Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Tongue Twisters” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“One can never have enough socks.” -J. K. Rowling (Joanne Kathleen ‘Jo’ Rowling (born 1965)): “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” (26 June 1997), words of fictional character Albus Dumbledore (Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore)
We are MFOL! . . . keep your wits about you and hang on to your socks . . . as heedless of all warnings and common sense we rush into what’s next . . .
Bert: Because he couldn’t find his shoes!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Elephants” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Maribel: What did the sock say to the foot?
Clarabelle: “You’re putting me on.”
A ‘sock hop’ is an informal dance event for teenagers, usually held at a school, in which hard-soled shoes are removed to protect the floor from damage.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Dance and Dancing” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Kevin: What kind of socks do pirates wear?
Vincent: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgyle!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Pirates” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Do you have a sock drawer, or do you simply stuff your socks into any available and otherwise unused space? Here’s a great way to store clean socks: Simply stuff socks into shoes.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Housekeeping and Housecleaning” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Emmaline: What do you call a rich sock maker?
Evangeline: Sock-cessful.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poverty and Prosperity” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Alternative Uses for Socks and Stockings
- Emergency mittens for cold days.
- Hang them by the chimney in hopes that Saint Nicholas soon will be there.
- Roll socks up into balls and use for juggling practice.
- Slip extra shoes inside baggy old socks when traveling.
- Make sock puppets.
- Use socks to store small valuables, such as gemstones, coins from around the world, or individually-wrapped butterscotch candies.
- Walk, march, or slide - but don’t run - around in clean socks on a dirty floor to try to clean it.
- Sew or glue soles to socks to make sock-shoes.
- Wear socks or stockings between your feet and your shoes.
- Get your entire village together to bring their socks to a single location so that all of you can make the world’s biggest pile of socks and become famous for achieving a new world record.
Can you think of other uses for socks?
Justina: How can a sock be empty but still have something in it?
Paulina: When it has a hole in it.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Riddles and Puzzles” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Possible New Sock Holidays
- Be Kind To Socks Day
- Free Pair Of Socks Day
- Matching Socks Day
- Sock Appreciation Day
- Take Your Socks For A Walk Day
- Thank A Sock Day
Can you think of more new sock holidays?
Today is International Wash Your Socks Day . . . well, not really . . . but what if it was?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Laundry” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“You have reached the Missing Socks Detective Agency. Jenson speaking. How may I help you?” “The Sock Burglar took my sock! I was awakened in the night by the rustling of tiny wings, and there was the Sock Burglar, flying out my open window with it!” “Relax and rest assured we’ll be right over and on the case. Right now, let’s discuss fees. We charge two desk lamps plus a 3-meter extension cord and 3 ham-and-cheese sandwiches with mustard and pickles as a retainer, and an additional 400 green stamps a day until the case is solved. Can you afford us?” “Yes, yes, I’ve got to have my missing sock returned to me!”
Joey: What did one sock say to the other sock?
Chloe: “Hi, nice toe meet you.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Meeting And Parting” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Always wear clean socks when you go out, just in case you should get run over by a truck.” -Author Unknown: motherly advice
Amberly: What kind of socks do gardeners wear?
Kimberly: Garden hose.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Gardens and Gardening” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Give me the gift of a grip top sock,
A drip-drape, ship-shape, tip-top sock,
And all the better if it has spots - say . . .
Sam’s Sock Shop stocks short spotted socks!
-Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Tongue Twisters” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“One can never have enough socks.” -J. K. Rowling (Joanne Kathleen ‘Jo’ Rowling (born 1965)): “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” (26 June 1997), words of fictional character Albus Dumbledore (Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore)
We are MFOL! . . . keep your wits about you and hang on to your socks . . . as heedless of all warnings and common sense we rush into what’s next . . .
