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Pastas

6/26/2019

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​Mama mia, dat’s-a lots-a pasta!
 
“Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.” -Sophia Loren (pseudonym of Sophia Sciccoloni (born 1934))
 
Pasta is a food originating in Italy, consisting of dough made from durum wheat and water, and sometimes eggs, extruded or stamped into various shapes and sizes. Pasta is cooked by boiling it in water, either in its freshly made state, or it can be dried for storage and later cooked from its dried state.
 
Oodles of Noodles
 
I love noodles. Give me oodles.
     Make a mound up to the Sun.
Noodles are my favorite foodles.
     I eat noodles by the ton.
 
by Lucia and James Hymes, Junior
 
When pasta is boiled in water, it is important to know that once the pot has been removed from the heat source, the hot water continues to cook the pasta, and even once pasta is separated from the hot water, it continues cooking. So, to achieve just the precise amount of cooking to have perfectly done pasta that is not too soft or too hard, referred to in Italian as ‘al dente,’ immerse the pasta in cold water at precisely the perfect time to stop the cooking process.
 
“Fettuccini Alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.” -Mitch Hedberg (Mitchell Lee ‘Mitch’ Hedberg (1968 - 2005))
 
Marinara sauce is a red sauce typically made from tomatoes, onions, and herbs. ‘Marinara’ is derived from the Italian phrase ‘alla marinara’ meaning ‘sailor-style.’ It commonly goes by the name ‘spaghetti sauce’ or ‘pasta sauce,’ although it is worth noting that not all pasta sauces are red sauces, especially those that contain no tomatoes as a main ingredient.
 
“No man is lonely while eating spaghetti - it requires too much attention.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)): as quoted in “Life” (24 October 1969) magazine
 
Doyle: A farmer bought a piece of land at auction. It was two thousand acres long and one inch wide. What did he grow on it?
Dylan: I know - spaghetti!
 
Macaroni and Cheese
 
Boil the water, add the noodles,
     Mac and cheese, we love you oodles.
In gratefulness for this creation,
     We bow and eat with such elation.
 
by Author Unknown
 
Customer: “Do you have spaghetti on the menu today?”
Waiter: “No, sir, I cleaned it off.”
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Here we see the annual spaghetti harvest . . .

The spaghetti tree hoax is a famous 3-minute hoax report broadcast on April Fool’s Day 1957 by the British Broadcasting Corporation current affairs program “Panorama.” It told a tale of a family in southern Switzerland harvesting spaghetti from the fictitious spaghetti tree. The story was broadcast at a time when the Italian dish was not widely eaten in the United Kingdom and some Britons were still unaware that spaghetti is a pasta made from wheat flour and water. Hundreds of viewers phoned the BBC, either to say the story was not true, or wondering about it, with some even asking how to grow their own spaghetti trees. “Panorama” cameraman Charles de Jaeger dreamed up the story after remembering how teachers at his school in Austria teased his classmates for being so stupid that if they were told that spaghetti grew on trees, they would believe it. The report showed a family in the canton of Ticino in southern Switzerland as they gathered a bumper spaghetti harvest after a mild Winter and “virtual disappearance of the spaghetti weevil.” Footage of a traditional “Harvest Festival” was aired along with a discussion of the cultivation necessary to develop a plant variety that produces the perfect length of pasta. Some scenes were filmed at the (now closed) Pasta Foods factory on London Road, Saint Albans, in Hertfordshire, and at a hotel in Castagnola, Switzerland. The report was made more believable through the voiceover of respected broadcaster Richard Dimbleby. Pasta was not an everyday food in 1950’s Britain, and was known mainly from tinned spaghetti in tomato sauce, and considered by many to be an exotic delicacy. At the time, there were 7 million homes in Britain with television sets, out of a total of 15.8 million homes. An estimated 8 million people watched the program on and hundreds phoned in the following day to question the authenticity of the story or ask for more information about spaghetti cultivation and how they could grow their own spaghetti trees. The BBC reportedly told them to “place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best.”
 
If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
 
“I do love Italian food. Any kind of pasta or pizza.” -Jennifer Love Hewitt
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“Life is a combination of magic and pasta.” -Federico Fellini
 
Weird Al Yankovic did a parody of the song “La Bamba” entitled “Lasagna” on his “Even Worse” album.
 
Lasagna was called ‘losyns’ in Middle English.
 
In 1996, computer hardware engineer Toshio Yamamoto began the work of tasting and cataloguing all the ramen instant noodles he could find (including a full ingredients list, texture, flavor, price, and a ‘star’ rating for each) for the 5,657-ramen database on his website, expanded recently with hundreds of video reviews and with re-reviews (in case the taste had changed). Mr. Yamamoto said he had always eaten ramen for breakfast seven days a week, but cut back recently to five. “I feared that, if I continued at (the seven-day) pace, I would get bored.” He has written two books on the flavored instant noodles. Visit Mr. Yamamoto’s website at www.i-ramen.net to see his extensive noodle work and nifty animation.
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So there I was, minding my own business as usual, when all of a sudden, I encountered a pasta disasta!
 
“There is linguini, elbows, angel hair, spirals, bowties, . . . so many pasta shapes and sizes . . . just image all the pasta-bilities!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
 
Lorenzo: What do you call a fake noodle?
Luciano: An impasta.
 
“The Forme of Cury,” a 14th century cookbook that was the first to be published in England, featured lasagna.
 
“I wouldn’t exactly call it ‘cooking’ but I can make noodles. That means I can boil water, put the pasta in and wait until it’s done.” -Devon Werkheiser
 
As the song says, “On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball, when somebody sneezed!”
 
Lasagna is the favorite food of the cartoon cat character Garfield, created by Jim Davis. Interestingly, it is said that Mr. Davis never had a pet cat, but despite this handicap, he somehow manages.
 
“Eat the spaghetti to forgetti your regretti.” -Author Unknown
 
“Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it.” -Author Unknown
 
Lasagna is believed to have originated in Italy. It is a dish made of alternating layers of pasta, cheese, sauce, and traditionally meat, although vegetables can be substituted for the meat. Lasagna is made with either flat noodles or rippled noodles. Rippled noodles are common in southern Italy but rarely used in Northern Italy. Rippled noodles are also popular in the United States. The plural of lasagna is lasagne. In Italy, the plural form lasagne is always used when referring to lasagna.
 
“I love pasta with the homemade marinara sauce I had as a kid.” -Bernadette Peters
 
“I don’t know, man . . . I just started eating pasta and I was like, ‘Wow, my problems . . . where did they all just go?’” -Author Unknown
 
“Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.” -Sophia Loren (pseudonym of Sophia Sciccoloni (born 1934))
 
You are on MFOL! - quick, say something funny about pasta!
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