He: Where did you get those big eyes?
She: They came with the face.
Overheard: I was on a date recently, and the guy took me horseback riding, and that was kind of fun . . . until we ran out of quarters!
The goal of dating is to determine if the two of you can become friends first, before doing anything else. Do not rush or be rushed into anything, such as dating exclusively, kissing, or sharing too much personal information. If you cannot be friends with your partner, then a long-term relationship may not be possible, and you will want to move on and date other people. Remember that you will want to be able to boast someday to people that you married your best friend.
Francis: What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
Frances: “I love you tons and tons!”
Julia: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
Jules: No, they had an apple.
Date Activities and Places
- Concert, live theater play, comedy performance, or lecture.
- Sightseeing, gallery or museum tour, or boat tour.
- Dinner and a movie.
- Religious services.
- Roller skating, bowling, walking.
- Rodeo, ballet, opera.
Can you think of other good date activities and places, and perhaps some activities and places that would not be good for dates, as for example, whale harpooning on the open seas, or coal mining?
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Remember When?
Remember when nearly sixteen,
On your very first date as a teen
At the movies? If yes,
Then I bet you can’t guess
What was shown on the cinema screen.
by Author Unknown
Linda: Who did the Little Mermaid date?
Lucinda: She went out with the tide.
You have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince - at least, that is the way it happens in fairy tales!
It was an awful night - somebody was wearing the same outfit she was - her date!
What She Ate
There was a young girl who ate mice,
Tin cans, old shoes, and hair lice.
She’d go out on a date,
And she’d eat what she ate -
And never get asked somewhere twice.
by Author Unknown
Online dating has benefits and drawbacks. Many people misrepresent themselves online because it is easy to do so; they submit photographs of other people and claim it is them, and they fib about their income, employment status, criminal records, and other personal details. Some of them are fraudsters or other types of bad people. Some of the profiles on dating websites are not even of real people, but are fake profiles of nonexistent people set up to lure more visitors onto the sites.
She: They came with the face.
Overheard: I was on a date recently, and the guy took me horseback riding, and that was kind of fun . . . until we ran out of quarters!
The goal of dating is to determine if the two of you can become friends first, before doing anything else. Do not rush or be rushed into anything, such as dating exclusively, kissing, or sharing too much personal information. If you cannot be friends with your partner, then a long-term relationship may not be possible, and you will want to move on and date other people. Remember that you will want to be able to boast someday to people that you married your best friend.
Francis: What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
Frances: “I love you tons and tons!”
Julia: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
Jules: No, they had an apple.
Date Activities and Places
- Concert, live theater play, comedy performance, or lecture.
- Sightseeing, gallery or museum tour, or boat tour.
- Dinner and a movie.
- Religious services.
- Roller skating, bowling, walking.
- Rodeo, ballet, opera.
Can you think of other good date activities and places, and perhaps some activities and places that would not be good for dates, as for example, whale harpooning on the open seas, or coal mining?
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Remember When?
Remember when nearly sixteen,
On your very first date as a teen
At the movies? If yes,
Then I bet you can’t guess
What was shown on the cinema screen.
by Author Unknown
Linda: Who did the Little Mermaid date?
Lucinda: She went out with the tide.
You have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince - at least, that is the way it happens in fairy tales!
It was an awful night - somebody was wearing the same outfit she was - her date!
What She Ate
There was a young girl who ate mice,
Tin cans, old shoes, and hair lice.
She’d go out on a date,
And she’d eat what she ate -
And never get asked somewhere twice.
by Author Unknown
Online dating has benefits and drawbacks. Many people misrepresent themselves online because it is easy to do so; they submit photographs of other people and claim it is them, and they fib about their income, employment status, criminal records, and other personal details. Some of them are fraudsters or other types of bad people. Some of the profiles on dating websites are not even of real people, but are fake profiles of nonexistent people set up to lure more visitors onto the sites.
Curly Locks
Curly Locks, Curly Locks,
Wilt thou be mine?
Thou shalt not wash dishes
Nor yet feed the swine,
But sit on a cushion
And sew a fine seam
And feed upon strawberries,
Sugar, and cream.
by Author Unknown: Mother Goose rhyme
Overheard: Everyone has got a Prince Charming. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
We live in a weird world, so it is recommended that dates be in public places with other people around. A woman should always carry enough money for taxi fare home and have the telephone number of a reliable taxi company. Additionally, a woman can arrange to have a friend or relative call her at a designated time during a date, and if the telephone is not answered, then someone can go to the prearranged place of the date to check up on things. A friend or relative can also write down the license plate number of the vehicle in which a woman’s date drives when she is picked up, or better yet, she can drive her own vehicle to the date.
“People tell me there are plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all, but I am human, and I do not date fish.” -Author Unknown
“Opposites attract in the short-run and turn into a disaster in the long-run.” -Author Unknown
“My boyfriend and I met online and we’d been dating for over a year. I introduced Hans to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we met over the Internet. He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick me up. Ever the tech enthusiast, Hans naively replied, ‘I just used a regular 56K modem.’” -Anne McConnell
Max: Why did the apple go out with a fig?
Maxine: Because it could not find a ‘date.’
Looking for a job? How about telling people that you are a professional chaperone? You accompany couples on dates, keeping somewhat in the background, but are ever present and ready to intervene should there be any instance of untoward behavior.
“Hey, guys, one quality I’m not looking for in a man is the ability to maintain a virtual farm . . . just so you know.” -Unidentified Woman
How Passion Ate
I knew a girl named Passion;
I asked her for a date.
I took her out to dinner,
And gosh, how passionate!
by Author Unknown
Hey, guys, when you are low on funds and taking your gal out on a date, just remember that every night the stars put on a show for free.
Dating can be done as a couple or more than one couple. Two couples on a date are called a double-date. More than two couples is called a group date.
“Normal people flirting: Hey, you are cute - we should go out sometime! Me trying to flirt: So do you like bread . . .” -Author Unknown
A boy was about to go on his first date, and was nervous about what to talk about. He asked his father for advice. The father replied, “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.” The boy picked up his date and they went to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stared at each other for a long time, and the boy’s nervousness builds. He remembered his father’s advice, and chose the first topic. He asked the girl, “Do you like potato pancakes?” She said, “No,” and the silence returned. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thought of his father’s suggestion and turned to the second item on the list. He asked, “Do you have a brother?” Again, the girl said, “No,” and there was silence again. The boy then played his last card. He thought of his father’s advice and asked the girl the following question: “If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?”
She: Would you remember me in a day?
He: Yes.
She: Would you remember me in a week?
He: Certainly.
She: Would you remember me in a month?
He: No doubt about it.
She: Would you remember me in year?
He: Why, of course.
She: Knock, knock.
He: Who’s there?
She: I thought you said that you would remember me!
Remembering bits of information about a person and working them into conversations is not only highly flattering but also shows interest.
“Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot might be stuck in a tree or something.” -Author Unknown
A chaperone on a date is a mature responsible adult who is present to make sure the dating youngsters behave themselves and do not get into trouble.
Read Dating: A form of speed dating in which the participants display a list of their favorite books underneath their name tags in order to facilitate the identification of a common interest.
Isn’t it about time you asked that special someone on a date?
Ask a person, “Which do you like more: scary movies, romantic movies, or comedy movies?” and they may think you are asking them on a date.
He: Can you see alright?
She: Yes.
He: You’re not sitting in a draft?
She: No.
He: Comfortable?
She: Yes, fine.
He: Want to trade seats?
Donald had overstayed his welcome at his girlfriend’s house. “You’d better leave now,” she said. “My father has a habit of taking things apart to see why they won’t go.”
If a man cannot decide what to wear on a date, he might want to wear something blue. Women are attracted to men in blue, we have been told.
“I don’t need to flirt; I will win you over with my social awkwardness!” -Author Unknown
“A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.” -Woodrow Wyatt: “To the Point” (1981), page 107
“I won’t date a guy who doesn’t own a toolbox. I’m not saying you need to be able to knock down a wall or build a house or anything like that. But I’ve been out with a couple of guys who didn’t own toolboxes, and they couldn’t even change a light bulb.” -Kristy Swanson
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gwen.
Gwen, who?
Gwen will I see you again?
Hey, do you want to go out sometime? Oh, you say you do not date websites? Well, that is fine . . . we will just continue with more mildly amusing material . . .
Curly Locks, Curly Locks,
Wilt thou be mine?
Thou shalt not wash dishes
Nor yet feed the swine,
But sit on a cushion
And sew a fine seam
And feed upon strawberries,
Sugar, and cream.
by Author Unknown: Mother Goose rhyme
Overheard: Everyone has got a Prince Charming. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
We live in a weird world, so it is recommended that dates be in public places with other people around. A woman should always carry enough money for taxi fare home and have the telephone number of a reliable taxi company. Additionally, a woman can arrange to have a friend or relative call her at a designated time during a date, and if the telephone is not answered, then someone can go to the prearranged place of the date to check up on things. A friend or relative can also write down the license plate number of the vehicle in which a woman’s date drives when she is picked up, or better yet, she can drive her own vehicle to the date.
“People tell me there are plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all, but I am human, and I do not date fish.” -Author Unknown
“Opposites attract in the short-run and turn into a disaster in the long-run.” -Author Unknown
“My boyfriend and I met online and we’d been dating for over a year. I introduced Hans to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we met over the Internet. He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick me up. Ever the tech enthusiast, Hans naively replied, ‘I just used a regular 56K modem.’” -Anne McConnell
Max: Why did the apple go out with a fig?
Maxine: Because it could not find a ‘date.’
Looking for a job? How about telling people that you are a professional chaperone? You accompany couples on dates, keeping somewhat in the background, but are ever present and ready to intervene should there be any instance of untoward behavior.
“Hey, guys, one quality I’m not looking for in a man is the ability to maintain a virtual farm . . . just so you know.” -Unidentified Woman
How Passion Ate
I knew a girl named Passion;
I asked her for a date.
I took her out to dinner,
And gosh, how passionate!
by Author Unknown
Hey, guys, when you are low on funds and taking your gal out on a date, just remember that every night the stars put on a show for free.
Dating can be done as a couple or more than one couple. Two couples on a date are called a double-date. More than two couples is called a group date.
“Normal people flirting: Hey, you are cute - we should go out sometime! Me trying to flirt: So do you like bread . . .” -Author Unknown
A boy was about to go on his first date, and was nervous about what to talk about. He asked his father for advice. The father replied, “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.” The boy picked up his date and they went to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stared at each other for a long time, and the boy’s nervousness builds. He remembered his father’s advice, and chose the first topic. He asked the girl, “Do you like potato pancakes?” She said, “No,” and the silence returned. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thought of his father’s suggestion and turned to the second item on the list. He asked, “Do you have a brother?” Again, the girl said, “No,” and there was silence again. The boy then played his last card. He thought of his father’s advice and asked the girl the following question: “If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?”
She: Would you remember me in a day?
He: Yes.
She: Would you remember me in a week?
He: Certainly.
She: Would you remember me in a month?
He: No doubt about it.
She: Would you remember me in year?
He: Why, of course.
She: Knock, knock.
He: Who’s there?
She: I thought you said that you would remember me!
Remembering bits of information about a person and working them into conversations is not only highly flattering but also shows interest.
“Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot might be stuck in a tree or something.” -Author Unknown
A chaperone on a date is a mature responsible adult who is present to make sure the dating youngsters behave themselves and do not get into trouble.
Read Dating: A form of speed dating in which the participants display a list of their favorite books underneath their name tags in order to facilitate the identification of a common interest.
Isn’t it about time you asked that special someone on a date?
Ask a person, “Which do you like more: scary movies, romantic movies, or comedy movies?” and they may think you are asking them on a date.
He: Can you see alright?
She: Yes.
He: You’re not sitting in a draft?
She: No.
He: Comfortable?
She: Yes, fine.
He: Want to trade seats?
Donald had overstayed his welcome at his girlfriend’s house. “You’d better leave now,” she said. “My father has a habit of taking things apart to see why they won’t go.”
If a man cannot decide what to wear on a date, he might want to wear something blue. Women are attracted to men in blue, we have been told.
“I don’t need to flirt; I will win you over with my social awkwardness!” -Author Unknown
“A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.” -Woodrow Wyatt: “To the Point” (1981), page 107
“I won’t date a guy who doesn’t own a toolbox. I’m not saying you need to be able to knock down a wall or build a house or anything like that. But I’ve been out with a couple of guys who didn’t own toolboxes, and they couldn’t even change a light bulb.” -Kristy Swanson
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gwen.
Gwen, who?
Gwen will I see you again?
Hey, do you want to go out sometime? Oh, you say you do not date websites? Well, that is fine . . . we will just continue with more mildly amusing material . . .
