Austrian composer Joseph Haydn composed his Quartet Number 49 in D-major for two violins, viola and violoncello, in the year 1785. For the most part, it is a thoughtful and serious work, but in Opus 50, Number 6, a frog can be heard croaking loudly, even stridently, in sounds produced by playing the same notes alternately on two neighboring strings. This part of the set is popularly known as ‘The Frog.’
“My music is best understood by children and animals.” -Igor Stravinsky (1882 - 1971): as quoted in the “Sunday Observer” (8 October 1961)
“One man’s noise is another man’s music.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Differences and Individuality” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“All one’s life is a music, if one touches the notes rightly, and in time.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)
A New Song
There was a composer named Zong
Who composed a new popular song.
It was simply the croon
Of a lovesick baboon,
With occasional thumps on the gong.
by Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Limericks” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“I think the first time I knew what I wanted to do with my life was when I was about four years old. I was listening to an old Victrola, playing a railroad song. The song was called ‘Hobo Bill’s Last Ride.’ And I thought it was the most wonderful, amazing thing that I’d ever heard.” -Johnny Cash (1932 - 2003)
“When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862): “Journals,” ‘January 13, 1857’
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“The great object of music is to touch the heart.” -Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach (also known as Karl Philipp Emmanuel Bach (1714 - 1788))
Eric: My brother has been practicing the violin for twenty years.
Zack: He must be really good.
Eric: Not really - it was nineteen and a half years before he realized you aren’t supposed to blow into it.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Homes and Families” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Important Stuff You Need to Know about Music
- A trumpet is an instrument when it is not an elephant sound.
- A tuba is much larger than its name.
- Cymbals are round metal clangs.
- Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was rather large.
- Most authorities agree that the music of antiquity was written long ago.
- The main trouble with a French horn is that it is too tangled up.
- The most dangerous part about playing cymbals is being near the noise.
- Tubas are a bit too much.
- When a singer sings, he stirs up the air and makes it hit any passing eardrums. But if he is good, he knows how to keep it from hurting.
Wesley: Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
Leslie: To reach the high notes.
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Martha: What comes before a tuba?
Bertha: A one-ba.
Martha: What comes after a tuba?
Bertha: A three-ba.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Numbers and Counting” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“There is nothing to it. You only have to hit the right notes at the right time and the instrument plays itself.” -J. S. Bach (Johann Sebastian Bach (1685 - 1750)): as quoted in K. Geiringer: “The Bach Family” (1954), ‘Of the Organ’
“I guess all songs is folk songs. I never heard no horse sing ’em.” -Big Bill Broonzy (1893 - 1958): as quoted by Charles Keil: “Urban Blues” (1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Horses and Ponies” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Among the fun and unusual musical instruments are didgeridoos, kazoos, pots and pans, slide whistles, washboards, wooden spoons, zinks (cornets), and zithers.
Kevin: What instrument plays only sour notes?
Marvin: A pickle-o.
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“Of all the noises, I think music the least disagreeable.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in the “Morning Chronicle” (16 August 1816)
“Long before there was human music, the harmony and rhythm of nature, such as falling rain (rhythm section), wind whispering in the trees and rocks (wind instruments), and pounding thunder (percussion instruments), all soothed the savage beast.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Weather and Climates” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs, and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with music.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans, possibly also known as Marian Evans Cross (1819 - 1880)): “The Mill on the Floss” (1860), Book VI, chapter vi
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harmony.
Harmony, who?
Harmony more jokes like these can a person take?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Knock-Knock Jokes” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“Music is well said to be the speech of angels. It brings us near to the infinite.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881): “The State of German Literature” (1827)
Clarinet players
Are smarter than trombonists
Because they can reed
-Guy Ben-Moshe
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Haikus” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“Musick is the thing of the world that I love most.” -Samuel Pepys (1633 - 1703): “Diary of Samuel Pepys,” ‘July 30, 1666’
“. . . music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life . . .” [translation to English]
“. . . die Musik wäscht ihnen den Alltagsstaub von der Seele . . .” [original German]
-Berthold Auerbach (1812 - 1882): “Auf der Höhe” (English: “On the Heights”) (1866) novel
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“I don’t care much about music. What I like is sounds.” -Dizzy Gillespie (John Birks ‘Dizzy’ Gillespie (1917 - 1993))
Marla: Why did the punk rocker take a pen and paper onstage?
Darla: He wanted to draw a big crowd.
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“Music is so naturally united with us that we cannot be free from it even if we so desired.” -Anicius Manlius Severinus Boethius (C.E. 475 - C.E. 523)
The Tutor
A Tutor who tooted the flute
Tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
Said the two to the Tutor,
“Is it harder to toot, or
To tutor two tooters to toot?”
by Carolyn Wells (Carolyn Wells Houghton (1862 - 1942))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Tongue Twisters” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“Give me the making of the songs of a nation, and I care not who makes its laws.” -Andrew Fletcher (1655 - 1716): “Conversation Concerning a Right Regulation of Government for the Common Good of Mankind” (1703)
“Music is medicine to man.” -Author Unknown: inscription on Bell Number 4 at Saint Mary’s Church in Harrow-on-the-Hill, England
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Doctors and Health Practitioners” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Jessica: What kind of sound comes from a refrigerator with a built-in stereo?
Jillian: Very cool music.
“My music is best understood by children and animals.” -Igor Stravinsky (1882 - 1971): as quoted in the “Sunday Observer” (8 October 1961)
“One man’s noise is another man’s music.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Differences and Individuality” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“All one’s life is a music, if one touches the notes rightly, and in time.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)
A New Song
There was a composer named Zong
Who composed a new popular song.
It was simply the croon
Of a lovesick baboon,
With occasional thumps on the gong.
by Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Limericks” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“I think the first time I knew what I wanted to do with my life was when I was about four years old. I was listening to an old Victrola, playing a railroad song. The song was called ‘Hobo Bill’s Last Ride.’ And I thought it was the most wonderful, amazing thing that I’d ever heard.” -Johnny Cash (1932 - 2003)
“When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862): “Journals,” ‘January 13, 1857’
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Henry David Thoreau” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“The great object of music is to touch the heart.” -Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach (also known as Karl Philipp Emmanuel Bach (1714 - 1788))
Eric: My brother has been practicing the violin for twenty years.
Zack: He must be really good.
Eric: Not really - it was nineteen and a half years before he realized you aren’t supposed to blow into it.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Homes and Families” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Important Stuff You Need to Know about Music
- A trumpet is an instrument when it is not an elephant sound.
- A tuba is much larger than its name.
- Cymbals are round metal clangs.
- Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was rather large.
- Most authorities agree that the music of antiquity was written long ago.
- The main trouble with a French horn is that it is too tangled up.
- The most dangerous part about playing cymbals is being near the noise.
- Tubas are a bit too much.
- When a singer sings, he stirs up the air and makes it hit any passing eardrums. But if he is good, he knows how to keep it from hurting.
Wesley: Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
Leslie: To reach the high notes.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Ladders” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Martha: What comes before a tuba?
Bertha: A one-ba.
Martha: What comes after a tuba?
Bertha: A three-ba.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Numbers and Counting” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“There is nothing to it. You only have to hit the right notes at the right time and the instrument plays itself.” -J. S. Bach (Johann Sebastian Bach (1685 - 1750)): as quoted in K. Geiringer: “The Bach Family” (1954), ‘Of the Organ’
“I guess all songs is folk songs. I never heard no horse sing ’em.” -Big Bill Broonzy (1893 - 1958): as quoted by Charles Keil: “Urban Blues” (1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Horses and Ponies” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Among the fun and unusual musical instruments are didgeridoos, kazoos, pots and pans, slide whistles, washboards, wooden spoons, zinks (cornets), and zithers.
Kevin: What instrument plays only sour notes?
Marvin: A pickle-o.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Pickles” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“Of all the noises, I think music the least disagreeable.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in the “Morning Chronicle” (16 August 1816)
“Long before there was human music, the harmony and rhythm of nature, such as falling rain (rhythm section), wind whispering in the trees and rocks (wind instruments), and pounding thunder (percussion instruments), all soothed the savage beast.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Weather and Climates” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs, and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with music.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans, possibly also known as Marian Evans Cross (1819 - 1880)): “The Mill on the Floss” (1860), Book VI, chapter vi
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harmony.
Harmony, who?
Harmony more jokes like these can a person take?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Knock-Knock Jokes” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“Music is well said to be the speech of angels. It brings us near to the infinite.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881): “The State of German Literature” (1827)
Clarinet players
Are smarter than trombonists
Because they can reed
-Guy Ben-Moshe
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Haikus” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“Musick is the thing of the world that I love most.” -Samuel Pepys (1633 - 1703): “Diary of Samuel Pepys,” ‘July 30, 1666’
“. . . music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life . . .” [translation to English]
“. . . die Musik wäscht ihnen den Alltagsstaub von der Seele . . .” [original German]
-Berthold Auerbach (1812 - 1882): “Auf der Höhe” (English: “On the Heights”) (1866) novel
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Personal Cleanliness and Hygiene” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“I don’t care much about music. What I like is sounds.” -Dizzy Gillespie (John Birks ‘Dizzy’ Gillespie (1917 - 1993))
Marla: Why did the punk rocker take a pen and paper onstage?
Darla: He wanted to draw a big crowd.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Art” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“Music is so naturally united with us that we cannot be free from it even if we so desired.” -Anicius Manlius Severinus Boethius (C.E. 475 - C.E. 523)
The Tutor
A Tutor who tooted the flute
Tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
Said the two to the Tutor,
“Is it harder to toot, or
To tutor two tooters to toot?”
by Carolyn Wells (Carolyn Wells Houghton (1862 - 1942))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Tongue Twisters” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“Give me the making of the songs of a nation, and I care not who makes its laws.” -Andrew Fletcher (1655 - 1716): “Conversation Concerning a Right Regulation of Government for the Common Good of Mankind” (1703)
“Music is medicine to man.” -Author Unknown: inscription on Bell Number 4 at Saint Mary’s Church in Harrow-on-the-Hill, England
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Doctors and Health Practitioners” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Jessica: What kind of sound comes from a refrigerator with a built-in stereo?
Jillian: Very cool music.
“Music is what feelings sound like.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Emotions and Feelings” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
There’s music in the singing of a reed;
There’s music in the gushing of a rill;
There’s music in all things, if men had ears;
Their Earth is but an echo of the spheres.
-George Gordon Byron (also known as Lord Byron (1788 - 1824)): “Don Juan” (1819 - 1824), Canto 15
Adolphe Sax was born in Belgium in the early nineteenth century. He grew up accident prone: He was struck on the head by a brick, swallowed a needle, fell down a flight of stairs, toppled himself onto a burning stove, and accidentally drank sulfuric acid. None of this, however, prevented him from perfecting, in 1835, a wind instrument combining the reed mouthpiece of a clarinet with a bent conical tube of metal, equipped with finger keys. In his honor, it is called the saxophone.
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Two musicians were walking down the street, and one said to the other, “Was that a piccolo I saw you with last night?” The other replied, “That was no piccolo, that was my fife.”
“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” -Maya Angelou (Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))
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Oboe: An English tramp.
Dancer: Say, can’t you stretch the music a little longer - just a dance or two more?
Band Leader: Sorry, sir, this isn’t a rubber band.
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“Music is the moonlight in the gloomy night of life.” -Jean Paul (pseudonym of Johann Paul Friedrich Richter (1763 - 1825)): “Titan” (1800 - 1803)
“Music is a friend of labor, for it lightens the task by refreshing the nerves and spirit of the worker.” -William Green (1873 - 1952)
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“Brass bands are all very well in their place: outdoors and several miles away.” -Thomas Beecham (1897 - 1961)
Kermit: How do you make a small fortune in folk music?
Armand: Start with a large fortune.
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Sign on a music shop door: Gone Chopin. Back in a Minuet.
“Music is nothing else but wild sounds civilized into time and tune.” -Thomas Fuller (about 1608 - 1661): “The History of the Worthies of England” (1662), ‘Musicians’
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“Musicke doth withdraw our mindes from earthly cogitations, lifteth up our spirits into heaven, maketh them light and celestial.” -John Chrysostom (about C.E. 345 - C.E. 407)
Suggested Minimum Safe Distances between Street Musicians and Audiences
- Violinist: 25 feet.
- Bad violinist: 50 feet.
- Tone-deaf guitar player who knows 3 chords: 75 feet.
- 15 year-old electric guitar player with a Nirvana complex: 100 feet.
- Accordionist: 60 miles.
- Bagpipe player: 2 continents.
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“I went to watch Pavarotti once. He doesn’t like it when you join in.” -Mick Miller
If you wanted to learn to play a musical instrument, which one would you choose, and why?
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“Music doth extenuate fears, furies, appeaseth cruelty, abateth heaviness, and to such as are wakeful it causeth quiet rest; it cures all irksomeness and heaviness of soul.” -Magnus Aurelius Cassiodorus Senator (also known simply as Cassiodorus (about C.E. 485 - about C.E. 585)): “The Divine Letters” (about 550)
“Music: A beautiful succession of sounds.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
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“The aim and final end of all music should be none other than the glory of God and the refreshment of the soul. If heed is not paid to this, it is not true music but a diabolical bawling and twanging.” -J. S. Bach (Johann Sebastian Bach (1685 - 1750))
Musical instruments have been traditionally grouped - for the most part - into one of four ‘Families,’ based on how they produce sound. The families are the Brasswind instruments, the Percussion instruments, the String instruments, and the Woodwind instruments. Additional families, including the Keyboard instruments and the Electronic instruments, have been suggested more recently. A few instruments, such as the piano, do not fit neatly into just one family group. The piano has strings that vibrate like the Stringed instruments, and hammers that strike like the Percussion instruments.
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Brasswind instruments are made of brass or other metals, and make sound when air blows through them. The musician’s lips buzz against the mouthpiece, as though making a raspberry noise. Air then vibrates inside the instrument to produce sound. The Brasswind Family includes bugles, cornets, French horns, sousaphones, trombones, trumpets, tubas, and other instruments. Some people shorten ‘Brasswind’ to simply ‘Brass.’
“When you are about thirty-five years old, something terrible always happens to music.” -Steve Race
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The definition of a flute, according to David W. Barber in his book “A Musician’s Dictionary” is as follows: “A sophisticated pea-shooter with a range up to five hundred yards and deadly accuracy in close quarters. Blown transversely to confuse the enemy, it can be dismantled into three small pieces, for easy concealment.”
The human body can make a wide range of different vocal and percussive sounds. The vocalizations can include singing, chanting, humming, and yodeling. Percussives include clapping the hands, clicking the tongue, and snapping the fingers.
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Music, the greatest good that mortals know,
And all of Heaven we have below.
-Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719): “Song for St Cectufs Day” (1692), stanza 3
Daren: What does a musician use to clean his teeth?
Karen: A tootbrush and a tuba tootpaste.
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“Music is nothing but unconscious arithmetic.” -Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz (1646 - 1716)
Music is in all growing things;
And underneath the silky wings
Of smallest insects there is stirred
A pulse of air that must be heard;
Earth’s silence lives and throbs and sings.
-George Parsons Lathrop (1851 - 1898)
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Buffy: How do you fix a broken tuba?
Dottie: With a tuba glue.
License plate seen on a professional bass clarinetist car: BSSCLRNT.
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“Never forget that music is much too important to be left entirely in the hands of professionals.” -Robert Fulghum
Percussion instruments make sound when they are struck, shaken, rubbed, scratched, or are otherwise subject to mechanical action. The Percussion Family includes bass drums, chimes, cowbells, cymbals, glockenspiels (bells), maracas, marimbas, snare drums, tam-tams (gongs), tambourines, timpani (kettle) drums, triangles, wood blocks, xylophones, and some other instruments. Grand pianos (uprights) can be included in this family, although they can also be included in the Strings and the Keyboards.
“If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.” -Author Unknown
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String instruments create sound with strings. The strings may be plucked, as in a guitar or harp; bowed, as with a cello or a violin; or struck, as with a dulcimer. When the strings vibrate, they create sound. In addition to the instruments already mentioned, in the String Family are the banjos, basses, electric guitars, fiddles, ukuleles, violas, zithers, and other similar instruments.
“Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.” -Bill Nye (Edgar Wilson ‘Bill’ Nye (1850 - 1896)), referring to Richard Wagner
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Good Reasons to Play the Tuba
8. People like shiny objects.
7. It is better than playing bagpipes.
6. When you play, people listen.
5. During rehearsal, you get to sit in the back of the room.
4. During marching practice, you can use the bell to block out the Sun.
3. People hold doors open for you.
2. You don’t have to wear those silly hats.
1. You will never be blamed for being the one with the squeaky reed.
“The dulcimer is the wild animal of the musical kingdom. It can be anything: bagpipe, guitar, fiddle, banjo, slide guitar, harpsichord, mandolin, but mostly itself, a droning, angelic power chord of delicacy that lives in its own world, in tune with its surroundings at a level that the well-tempered revolution could never quite tame.” -David Schnaufer (1952 - 2006) ( 2005)
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“An agreeable harmony for the honor of God and the permissible delights of the soul.” -J. S. Bach (Johann Sebastian Bach (1685 - 1750)), a definition of music: as quoted in Derek Watson: “Music Quotations” (1911)
“Music must take rank as the highest of the fine arts - as the one which, more than any other, ministers to human welfare.” -Herbert Spencer (1820 - 1903)
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Woodwind instruments produce sound when air (wind) is blown inside. Air might be blown across an edge, as with a flute; between a reed and a surface, as with a clarinet; or between two reeds, as with a bassoon. Sound is made when air vibrates inside the instruments. Other instruments belonging to the Woodwind Family include alto clarinets, alto saxophones, baritone saxophones, bass clarinets, English horns, oboes, piccolos, recorders, soprano saxophones, and tenor saxophones.
“Music is the eye of the ear.” -Thomas Draxe (birth year unknown - 1618): “Bibliotheca” (1616)
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Keyboard instruments produce sound electronically, with the exception of upright pianos such as the Grand Piano, which can be included both in this group and in the Percussion Family, and organs, some of which could fit into the Brasswind or Woodwind instruments Families. Among the other members of the Keyboards are electronic keyboards and synthesizers. Electronic instruments can mimic the sounds of any musical instruments and can make their own unique sounds.
“Humming is mumbling musically.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
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“Music is the universal language, because it is the language of the universe.” -Charles F. Glassman: “Brain Drain: The Breakthrough That Will Change Your Life” (2009)
James: How many jazz musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Kirk: None - jazz musicians can’t afford light bulbs.
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“Sing away sorrow, cast away care.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))
One of the greatest conductors of all time was Arturo Toscanini, whose skill was shown during a rehearsal of Claude Debussy’s “La Mer.” He wanted to achieve an especially spiritual effect in one passage. His vocabulary in English was not vast, and he was at a loss for words to describe exactly what he wanted the orchestra to do. He took a large white silk handkerchief from his coat pocket and threw it high into the air. Every player in the group was mesmerized as the handkerchief floated softly and hypnotically to the floor. “There,” Toscanini said, smiling, “play it like that!”
“Next to the Word of God, the noble art of music is the greatest treasure in the world.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)
Life has its music; let us seek a way
Not to jangle the chords whereon we play.
-Archilochus of Paros
Musically yours . . . this is MFOL! . . . please be advised that some of the humor which follows may be a little ‘offbeat.’
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There’s music in the singing of a reed;
There’s music in the gushing of a rill;
There’s music in all things, if men had ears;
Their Earth is but an echo of the spheres.
-George Gordon Byron (also known as Lord Byron (1788 - 1824)): “Don Juan” (1819 - 1824), Canto 15
Adolphe Sax was born in Belgium in the early nineteenth century. He grew up accident prone: He was struck on the head by a brick, swallowed a needle, fell down a flight of stairs, toppled himself onto a burning stove, and accidentally drank sulfuric acid. None of this, however, prevented him from perfecting, in 1835, a wind instrument combining the reed mouthpiece of a clarinet with a bent conical tube of metal, equipped with finger keys. In his honor, it is called the saxophone.
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Two musicians were walking down the street, and one said to the other, “Was that a piccolo I saw you with last night?” The other replied, “That was no piccolo, that was my fife.”
“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” -Maya Angelou (Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))
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Oboe: An English tramp.
Dancer: Say, can’t you stretch the music a little longer - just a dance or two more?
Band Leader: Sorry, sir, this isn’t a rubber band.
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“Music is the moonlight in the gloomy night of life.” -Jean Paul (pseudonym of Johann Paul Friedrich Richter (1763 - 1825)): “Titan” (1800 - 1803)
“Music is a friend of labor, for it lightens the task by refreshing the nerves and spirit of the worker.” -William Green (1873 - 1952)
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“Brass bands are all very well in their place: outdoors and several miles away.” -Thomas Beecham (1897 - 1961)
Kermit: How do you make a small fortune in folk music?
Armand: Start with a large fortune.
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Sign on a music shop door: Gone Chopin. Back in a Minuet.
“Music is nothing else but wild sounds civilized into time and tune.” -Thomas Fuller (about 1608 - 1661): “The History of the Worthies of England” (1662), ‘Musicians’
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“Musicke doth withdraw our mindes from earthly cogitations, lifteth up our spirits into heaven, maketh them light and celestial.” -John Chrysostom (about C.E. 345 - C.E. 407)
Suggested Minimum Safe Distances between Street Musicians and Audiences
- Violinist: 25 feet.
- Bad violinist: 50 feet.
- Tone-deaf guitar player who knows 3 chords: 75 feet.
- 15 year-old electric guitar player with a Nirvana complex: 100 feet.
- Accordionist: 60 miles.
- Bagpipe player: 2 continents.
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“I went to watch Pavarotti once. He doesn’t like it when you join in.” -Mick Miller
If you wanted to learn to play a musical instrument, which one would you choose, and why?
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“Music doth extenuate fears, furies, appeaseth cruelty, abateth heaviness, and to such as are wakeful it causeth quiet rest; it cures all irksomeness and heaviness of soul.” -Magnus Aurelius Cassiodorus Senator (also known simply as Cassiodorus (about C.E. 485 - about C.E. 585)): “The Divine Letters” (about 550)
“Music: A beautiful succession of sounds.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
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“The aim and final end of all music should be none other than the glory of God and the refreshment of the soul. If heed is not paid to this, it is not true music but a diabolical bawling and twanging.” -J. S. Bach (Johann Sebastian Bach (1685 - 1750))
Musical instruments have been traditionally grouped - for the most part - into one of four ‘Families,’ based on how they produce sound. The families are the Brasswind instruments, the Percussion instruments, the String instruments, and the Woodwind instruments. Additional families, including the Keyboard instruments and the Electronic instruments, have been suggested more recently. A few instruments, such as the piano, do not fit neatly into just one family group. The piano has strings that vibrate like the Stringed instruments, and hammers that strike like the Percussion instruments.
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Brasswind instruments are made of brass or other metals, and make sound when air blows through them. The musician’s lips buzz against the mouthpiece, as though making a raspberry noise. Air then vibrates inside the instrument to produce sound. The Brasswind Family includes bugles, cornets, French horns, sousaphones, trombones, trumpets, tubas, and other instruments. Some people shorten ‘Brasswind’ to simply ‘Brass.’
“When you are about thirty-five years old, something terrible always happens to music.” -Steve Race
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The definition of a flute, according to David W. Barber in his book “A Musician’s Dictionary” is as follows: “A sophisticated pea-shooter with a range up to five hundred yards and deadly accuracy in close quarters. Blown transversely to confuse the enemy, it can be dismantled into three small pieces, for easy concealment.”
The human body can make a wide range of different vocal and percussive sounds. The vocalizations can include singing, chanting, humming, and yodeling. Percussives include clapping the hands, clicking the tongue, and snapping the fingers.
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Music, the greatest good that mortals know,
And all of Heaven we have below.
-Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719): “Song for St Cectufs Day” (1692), stanza 3
Daren: What does a musician use to clean his teeth?
Karen: A tootbrush and a tuba tootpaste.
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“Music is nothing but unconscious arithmetic.” -Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz (1646 - 1716)
Music is in all growing things;
And underneath the silky wings
Of smallest insects there is stirred
A pulse of air that must be heard;
Earth’s silence lives and throbs and sings.
-George Parsons Lathrop (1851 - 1898)
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Buffy: How do you fix a broken tuba?
Dottie: With a tuba glue.
License plate seen on a professional bass clarinetist car: BSSCLRNT.
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“Never forget that music is much too important to be left entirely in the hands of professionals.” -Robert Fulghum
Percussion instruments make sound when they are struck, shaken, rubbed, scratched, or are otherwise subject to mechanical action. The Percussion Family includes bass drums, chimes, cowbells, cymbals, glockenspiels (bells), maracas, marimbas, snare drums, tam-tams (gongs), tambourines, timpani (kettle) drums, triangles, wood blocks, xylophones, and some other instruments. Grand pianos (uprights) can be included in this family, although they can also be included in the Strings and the Keyboards.
“If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.” -Author Unknown
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String instruments create sound with strings. The strings may be plucked, as in a guitar or harp; bowed, as with a cello or a violin; or struck, as with a dulcimer. When the strings vibrate, they create sound. In addition to the instruments already mentioned, in the String Family are the banjos, basses, electric guitars, fiddles, ukuleles, violas, zithers, and other similar instruments.
“Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.” -Bill Nye (Edgar Wilson ‘Bill’ Nye (1850 - 1896)), referring to Richard Wagner
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Good Reasons to Play the Tuba
8. People like shiny objects.
7. It is better than playing bagpipes.
6. When you play, people listen.
5. During rehearsal, you get to sit in the back of the room.
4. During marching practice, you can use the bell to block out the Sun.
3. People hold doors open for you.
2. You don’t have to wear those silly hats.
1. You will never be blamed for being the one with the squeaky reed.
“The dulcimer is the wild animal of the musical kingdom. It can be anything: bagpipe, guitar, fiddle, banjo, slide guitar, harpsichord, mandolin, but mostly itself, a droning, angelic power chord of delicacy that lives in its own world, in tune with its surroundings at a level that the well-tempered revolution could never quite tame.” -David Schnaufer (1952 - 2006) ( 2005)
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“An agreeable harmony for the honor of God and the permissible delights of the soul.” -J. S. Bach (Johann Sebastian Bach (1685 - 1750)), a definition of music: as quoted in Derek Watson: “Music Quotations” (1911)
“Music must take rank as the highest of the fine arts - as the one which, more than any other, ministers to human welfare.” -Herbert Spencer (1820 - 1903)
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Woodwind instruments produce sound when air (wind) is blown inside. Air might be blown across an edge, as with a flute; between a reed and a surface, as with a clarinet; or between two reeds, as with a bassoon. Sound is made when air vibrates inside the instruments. Other instruments belonging to the Woodwind Family include alto clarinets, alto saxophones, baritone saxophones, bass clarinets, English horns, oboes, piccolos, recorders, soprano saxophones, and tenor saxophones.
“Music is the eye of the ear.” -Thomas Draxe (birth year unknown - 1618): “Bibliotheca” (1616)
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Keyboard instruments produce sound electronically, with the exception of upright pianos such as the Grand Piano, which can be included both in this group and in the Percussion Family, and organs, some of which could fit into the Brasswind or Woodwind instruments Families. Among the other members of the Keyboards are electronic keyboards and synthesizers. Electronic instruments can mimic the sounds of any musical instruments and can make their own unique sounds.
“Humming is mumbling musically.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
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“Music is the universal language, because it is the language of the universe.” -Charles F. Glassman: “Brain Drain: The Breakthrough That Will Change Your Life” (2009)
James: How many jazz musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Kirk: None - jazz musicians can’t afford light bulbs.
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“Sing away sorrow, cast away care.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))
One of the greatest conductors of all time was Arturo Toscanini, whose skill was shown during a rehearsal of Claude Debussy’s “La Mer.” He wanted to achieve an especially spiritual effect in one passage. His vocabulary in English was not vast, and he was at a loss for words to describe exactly what he wanted the orchestra to do. He took a large white silk handkerchief from his coat pocket and threw it high into the air. Every player in the group was mesmerized as the handkerchief floated softly and hypnotically to the floor. “There,” Toscanini said, smiling, “play it like that!”
“Next to the Word of God, the noble art of music is the greatest treasure in the world.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)
Life has its music; let us seek a way
Not to jangle the chords whereon we play.
-Archilochus of Paros
Musically yours . . . this is MFOL! . . . please be advised that some of the humor which follows may be a little ‘offbeat.’
