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Janitors and Garbage Collectors

4/11/2019

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Picture of garbage collectors picking up bags of trash and putting it into a garbage truck in heavy rain with water deepening in the road around them.
Sign on the side of a garbage truck: “It may be garbage to you, but it’s our bread and butter.”
 
Question: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Answer: Supplies!
 
Sure, we make jokes about janitors and garbage collectors, but without the men and women who clean up messes and haul away trash, civilization would break down, and then collapse entirely, as we end up buried in our own refuse.
 
Riddle: What has four wheels and flies?
Solution: A garbage truck!
 
A father was asked by his friend, “Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?” “Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector,” replied the boy’s father. His friend thought for a moment and responded, “That’s a rather minor ambition to have for a career.” “Well,” said the boy’s father, “he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays.”
 
You don’t need a fancy degree or extensive training to be a garbage collector. You just ‘pick it up as you go along.’
 
A one-and-a-half meter (five feet) tall janitor named Bill worked at the wealthiest private school in town. He ordered some cleaning supplies by phone from the custodial supplies warehouse. When the supplies arrived, the delivery truck driver asked Bill to sign for them. Bill went into the headmaster’s office and asked the headmaster to sign for them. Puzzled, the headmaster told Bill to sign for them. “I can’t,” said Bill. “I can’t read or write.” “Well,” replied the headmaster, “I’m going to have to let you go, Bill. I’m sorry, but it just won’t do for us to have a janitor who cannot read or write working here.” Bill started walking home, wondering how he was going to tell his family the bad news about his job loss. He reached into his pocket for his wallet to count how much money he had left - and his well-worn pants ripped apart. He searched the neighborhood looking for a shop that sold smaller size men’s clothes, but could find none. And then he got an idea: Short and small men have money to spend and they need clothes just like everyone else. When he got home, he told his wife he was going to open a shop that sells smaller size men’s clothes. The venture was so successful that Bill soon opened another shop, and then another. In ten years, he opened his tenth store. A feature writer from a big city newspaper came to interview Bill on this successful occasion. When she had finished the interview, she asked Bill if he would like to read over her notes. “Yes, I would like to,” said Bill “but I can’t read or write.” “My goodness!” said the young lady. “You’ve accomplished so much. Just imagine what you would be if you could read and write!” “Yes,” smiled Bill. “I would be a janitor in a private school.”
 
Roger: Why did the janitor go to college?
Jerome: Because he realized that grime doesn’t pay.
 
A very small female janitor, who was about one-and-one-half meters (four feet, ten inches) tall and weighed about forty-one kilograms (ninety pounds), was working at an amusement park, and was told to go out and sweep up the trash. As she was getting ready to start cleaning up, her supervisor noticed that she was putting rocks in her pockets. When the supervisor asked her what she was doing, she said, “It’s very windy out there, and I’ll get knocked over by the wind . . . so . . . now I weigh me down to sweep!”
 
Rob: Have you heard the joke about the garbage truck?
Bert: Yes, but I heard it’s only a load of rubbish.
 
Moving silent here and there
fixing my world without a thank you
your hands are rough from the work you do
your back aches low and muscles sore
your broom shows evidence of work unseen
the hallways shine and rooms always clean
the gum I stuck under my chair
doesn’t get to tarry long there
you fight the woes of teens day in and out
your frustrations make you want to scream
food fights here and ball games there
I walk through your world without care
thank you for the work you’ve done
and will do, for though I may not see you much
I know what you do.
-Author Unknown
 
Overheard: I did not get my degree in the custodial arts just to be called a janitor!
 
Riddle: How do you throw away a trash can?
Solution: Easy - just toss it into a garbage container!
 
National Custodial Workers Recognition Day is on 2 October of each year. Give your custodial worker, janitor, or garbage collector a big thanks. At your school, church, place of employment, shopping center, in your neighborhood, and at a variety of other places, the custodial support staff is quietly at work and often unnoticed. They work during the day, in the nighttime, and on weekends and holidays. They are the workers who clean and keep in good repair the facility that you enjoy. They clear away the trash and grime. They seldom get recognition. Take a minute on this day, to seek out custodial workers at your facility. Give them a big “Thank you” for all that they do to keep the facility sparkling and running like a top. If you are a custodial worker, we wish you a very happy National Custodial Workers Day!
 
Pete: Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
Pamela: Because he swept her off her feet!
 
“The custodian (Alice Casey) was coming down the hallway with a loud clunky trash can on wheels, and the snake was coming the opposite way in the same hallway. They both froze and she said she didn’t know which one was more afraid.” -Nancy Moore
 
“Janitorial service: Grand Ole Mopry.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)
 
“You are not ready to be the President until you are ready to be the Janitor.” -Steve McKee
 
Garbage can: A container for dogs, put out once a week to test their ingenuity. They must stand on their hind legs and try to push the lid off with their nose. However, pushing the whole thing over usually makes the contents more easily accessible. When done right, they are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to chew on, and moldy crusts of bread.
 
Man: How’s business?
Garbage Collector: It’s picking up.
 
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You clean up after me -
So I’d like to thank you.
-Author Unknown: Valentine’s Day card for a janitor
 
“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” -Author Unknown
 
Garbage man: Sanitation engineer.
 
The preceding fun is dedicated to anyone who works for a living at a difficult job, often doing things they would rather not do. We salute you, and encourage you to continue reaching for what you want in life. And, for anyone who thinks badly of these people, consider not speaking badly of janitors and garbage collectors and other folks until after you have personally tried the work they do for at least a month to learn what it is really all about - if you can even manage to do it for that long, which you probably will not be able to, because doing long lonely hours of hard work for low wages and no appreciation, while dealing with frequent belittling from people who believe they are better than you, is not easy on the human spirit. These are the people who do not know the meaning of the word quit; they are the people who stick with things for the long haul. Still, they can and do, as we always say, MFOL! (Make Fun Of Life!)
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