“Ask yourself who you want to help today, then put on your cape and do it.” -Scottie Somers
Judy: Who can leap higher than a tall building?
Jody: Anybody, because tall buildings cannot leap!
Admit it, at some point in life, you have tried to see if you have super powers.
Darla: Why did the superhero cross the road?
Marla: To get to the supermarket.
Overheard: I am not saying I am Batman, I am just saying that no one has ever seen me and Batman in a room together.
Myrna: What is Batman’s favorite part of a joke?
Verna: The ‘punch’ line!
We have a great idea for a new superhero: Spudman. Like all potato people, he has many ‘eyes’ so he can simultaneously see in all directions without having to turn and look. His secret hideout is underground in a farm field, although he is often spotted in the produce section at grocery stores. He has to contend with a number of villainous chefs who want to turn him into garlic mashed potatoes, onion-potato cakes, a bacon-and-chives topped stuffed baked potato, or other fabulous foodstuffs, while he tries to save the people of Vegopolis from a massive celery famine, all the while being distracted by Sweet Potato and Candied Yam, both of whom are competing for his attention . . . what’s that . . . oh, gotta go, the boss is yelling at us to stop goofing around and get back to work!
Eunice: Why is Superman’s shirt so tight?
Eustice: Because it is a size ‘S’!
Kirby: How does the butler Alfred Pennyworth call Batman to dinner?
Herbie: “Dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner-Batman!!!” (Sing it to the tune of the 1960’s “Batman” television show theme music to get the full effect of the joke.)
Overheard: If I could be a superhero, I would be called Ironic. That way, when there is any trouble and I am running away from it, people would say, “Isn’t that Ironic?”
Every episode of the television show “Seinfeld” has a reference to Superman somewhere in it.
Alvin: What is Spiderman’s favorite month?
Vincent: Webruary.
Superman first appeared in “Action Comics no. 1” (June 1938).
Jingle Bells, Batman smells,
Robin laid an egg,
The bat-mobile lost its wheels,
And Joker got away!
-Author Unknown
People tend to think they are physically stronger when wearing Superman t-shirts.
Superboy: Why could Batman and Robin not go fishing?
Superman: Why?
Superboy: Because Robin ate all the worms!
Spiderman went to the video rental store and asked if he could have “Batman Forever.” The clerk said, “No, just 24 hours like everyone else.”
Judy: Who can leap higher than a tall building?
Jody: Anybody, because tall buildings cannot leap!
Admit it, at some point in life, you have tried to see if you have super powers.
Darla: Why did the superhero cross the road?
Marla: To get to the supermarket.
Overheard: I am not saying I am Batman, I am just saying that no one has ever seen me and Batman in a room together.
Myrna: What is Batman’s favorite part of a joke?
Verna: The ‘punch’ line!
We have a great idea for a new superhero: Spudman. Like all potato people, he has many ‘eyes’ so he can simultaneously see in all directions without having to turn and look. His secret hideout is underground in a farm field, although he is often spotted in the produce section at grocery stores. He has to contend with a number of villainous chefs who want to turn him into garlic mashed potatoes, onion-potato cakes, a bacon-and-chives topped stuffed baked potato, or other fabulous foodstuffs, while he tries to save the people of Vegopolis from a massive celery famine, all the while being distracted by Sweet Potato and Candied Yam, both of whom are competing for his attention . . . what’s that . . . oh, gotta go, the boss is yelling at us to stop goofing around and get back to work!
Eunice: Why is Superman’s shirt so tight?
Eustice: Because it is a size ‘S’!
Kirby: How does the butler Alfred Pennyworth call Batman to dinner?
Herbie: “Dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner-Batman!!!” (Sing it to the tune of the 1960’s “Batman” television show theme music to get the full effect of the joke.)
Overheard: If I could be a superhero, I would be called Ironic. That way, when there is any trouble and I am running away from it, people would say, “Isn’t that Ironic?”
Every episode of the television show “Seinfeld” has a reference to Superman somewhere in it.
Alvin: What is Spiderman’s favorite month?
Vincent: Webruary.
Superman first appeared in “Action Comics no. 1” (June 1938).
Jingle Bells, Batman smells,
Robin laid an egg,
The bat-mobile lost its wheels,
And Joker got away!
-Author Unknown
People tend to think they are physically stronger when wearing Superman t-shirts.
Superboy: Why could Batman and Robin not go fishing?
Superman: Why?
Superboy: Because Robin ate all the worms!
Spiderman went to the video rental store and asked if he could have “Batman Forever.” The clerk said, “No, just 24 hours like everyone else.”
It’s just an ordinary day in the life of a superhero . . . who lives by the code, “Do a good deed each day.”
Emma: How does Spiderman repair holes in his costume?
Emmit: With super glue!
The unassuming Clark Kent wears regular-people clothes, but when he becomes Superman, he rapidly changes into a colorful red-and-blue spandex suit with a cape - so what does he do with his regular clothes when he is in super-mode? Rumor has it that he wears his superhero outfit under his regular clothes, and that he has a hidden pocket in his cape, into which he places his super-neatly-folded regular clothes. Mystery solved!
Charlene: What would you get if Batman and his sidekick Robin were run over by a herd of stampeding elephants?
Darlene: Flatman and Ribbon.
Superman, also known as Clark Kent, was created in 1934 by Jerome ‘Jerry’ Siegel, a graduate of Glenville High School in Cleveland, Ohio, United States of America. Mr. Siegel’s partner, Joseph ‘Joe’ Shuster, improved the character with tights, a cape, and a handsome face. They moved to New York City, where they faced hard times and sold all rights to the comic-strip character to DC Comics for a mere $130. In June 1938, the first Superman comic appeared, and the muscle-bound flying man ‘really took off.’
Merlin: What was Batman doing in a tree?
Marlena: Looking for Robin.
As the mild-mannered Clark Kent, Superman is afraid of girls. He is probably worried that he will run into the one he stole the red-and-blue outfit he wears from.
Archie: What is green and sour and flies?
Archibald: Super Pickle!
The name ‘Clark Kent’ (Superman) was derived from the names of actors Clark Gable and Kent Taylor.
Ernest: What is the difference between the Green Lantern and a leprechaun?
Nestor: Nothing; they are both fictional characters.
Legal disclaimer on an actual superhero costume: Wearing this costume does not enable its wearer to fly.
“DC Comics is reviving Superman’s old outfit. I never understood Superman’s clothes. We all got used to the fact that he wears his underpants over the leotard. But why do his underpants have a belt on them?” -Jay Leno
Does ‘Spiderman’ have a ‘website’?
Mathilda: Where do superheroes hold their annual convention?
Hilda: Cape Town.
Unlikely Superheroes
- Vacuum Cleaner Sales & Repair Man: He not only sells you a vacuum cleaner, but he also fixes it if is ever broken.
- Shoe Collector Woman: Travels through the air in a flying shoe and throws shoes at criminals.
- Hysterical Parrot: Shows up and causes so much chaos and confusion that villains give up and flee the scene.
- Ironman: Saves people by removing the wrinkles from their clothes, as for example, just before their job interviews and weddings.
- The Historian: Has the power to become any person in history.
- The Caped Politician: Watches over polling places to make sure nobody cheats by voting more than once.
- The Cheapskate: A superhero who saves the world by showing people how to do everything for less money.
- The Element: A superhero who can become anything on the Periodic Table.
- The Upset Grenade: A superhero who explodes and then later reassembles.
- Can you think of others?
Emma: How does Spiderman repair holes in his costume?
Emmit: With super glue!
The unassuming Clark Kent wears regular-people clothes, but when he becomes Superman, he rapidly changes into a colorful red-and-blue spandex suit with a cape - so what does he do with his regular clothes when he is in super-mode? Rumor has it that he wears his superhero outfit under his regular clothes, and that he has a hidden pocket in his cape, into which he places his super-neatly-folded regular clothes. Mystery solved!
Charlene: What would you get if Batman and his sidekick Robin were run over by a herd of stampeding elephants?
Darlene: Flatman and Ribbon.
Superman, also known as Clark Kent, was created in 1934 by Jerome ‘Jerry’ Siegel, a graduate of Glenville High School in Cleveland, Ohio, United States of America. Mr. Siegel’s partner, Joseph ‘Joe’ Shuster, improved the character with tights, a cape, and a handsome face. They moved to New York City, where they faced hard times and sold all rights to the comic-strip character to DC Comics for a mere $130. In June 1938, the first Superman comic appeared, and the muscle-bound flying man ‘really took off.’
Merlin: What was Batman doing in a tree?
Marlena: Looking for Robin.
As the mild-mannered Clark Kent, Superman is afraid of girls. He is probably worried that he will run into the one he stole the red-and-blue outfit he wears from.
Archie: What is green and sour and flies?
Archibald: Super Pickle!
The name ‘Clark Kent’ (Superman) was derived from the names of actors Clark Gable and Kent Taylor.
Ernest: What is the difference between the Green Lantern and a leprechaun?
Nestor: Nothing; they are both fictional characters.
Legal disclaimer on an actual superhero costume: Wearing this costume does not enable its wearer to fly.
“DC Comics is reviving Superman’s old outfit. I never understood Superman’s clothes. We all got used to the fact that he wears his underpants over the leotard. But why do his underpants have a belt on them?” -Jay Leno
Does ‘Spiderman’ have a ‘website’?
Mathilda: Where do superheroes hold their annual convention?
Hilda: Cape Town.
Unlikely Superheroes
- Vacuum Cleaner Sales & Repair Man: He not only sells you a vacuum cleaner, but he also fixes it if is ever broken.
- Shoe Collector Woman: Travels through the air in a flying shoe and throws shoes at criminals.
- Hysterical Parrot: Shows up and causes so much chaos and confusion that villains give up and flee the scene.
- Ironman: Saves people by removing the wrinkles from their clothes, as for example, just before their job interviews and weddings.
- The Historian: Has the power to become any person in history.
- The Caped Politician: Watches over polling places to make sure nobody cheats by voting more than once.
- The Cheapskate: A superhero who saves the world by showing people how to do everything for less money.
- The Element: A superhero who can become anything on the Periodic Table.
- The Upset Grenade: A superhero who explodes and then later reassembles.
- Can you think of others?
This looks like a job for a superhero . . . or perhaps it is a job for you . . .
Superman climbed the Empire State Building to challenge King Kong to a fight. King Kong said, “I don’t have time - I’ve got to catch a plane!”
Why do superheroes wear their underpants on the outside of their clothes? Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman all wear elaborate costumes. The trio of superhero characters was created between 1935 and 1945. They were meant to be men and women of action, so their costumes were based on the men and women of action of the time. Superman’s costume was originally like that of a circus strongman. Wonder Woman’s was modeled on the costume of a trapeze artist. Their costumes were meant to be flashy and exciting and glamorous. Batman’s costume was based more on the black-and-white ‘film noir’ movies of the times, which were about dark avengers who skulked about in the shadows, scaring the wits out of criminals (Sounds like fun, right? Maybe you should consider a career in law enforcement.). Because Batman was meant to be a scary character, his costume made him look like a creepy creature from the shadows. Those costume styles stuck and became clichéd, particularly since the three characters had become instant hits of that time period. So, when new superheroes began to arrive, they also tended to have capes and tights just like circus-strongman Superman wears, or colorful trapeze outfits like Wonder Woman wears, or dark cloaks and scary masks like Batman wears. Because superhero creators are competitive, the result over time was that superhero costumes became more and more show-offish. And, what looks like underwear worn on the outside of their superhero costumes is actually tight shorts commonly worn by circus performers of the time, which gave them freedom of movement as they did their stunts to entertain audiences. What may look like belts holding up their ‘underpants’ are ‘utility belts’ which can hold any number of tools and devices the superheroes deploy in their crime-fighting adventures.
Heather: Where does Spiderman hang out?
Heath: On the worldwide web.
“Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Superman!” -George Lother, making the program introduction for the “Superman” radio show (first broadcast on 12 February 1940)
Some superheroes have sidekicks, or partners, and some superheroes have no sidekicks.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer ever teamed up, would they become ‘alloys’?
Thaddeus: Why did Batman go to the pet shop?
Tad: To buy a Robin.
Super Quiz
- What characteristics or traits do superheroes have in common with you?
- If you were a superhero, what would you choose as your alter-ego name?
- Which superhero would you like to have lunch with?
- If you were a superhero, what would your costume look like?
- Other than as entertainment, do superheroes serve any useful purpose?
- What people from history most resemble superheroes?
Mel: What was Batman’s ‘real’ name?
Nel: Bruce Wayne.
Overheard: If I could be any superhero, I would be Aluminum Man - my superpower would be ‘foiling’ crime . . .
Hope: How many caped crusaders does it take to change a light bulb?
Faith: None; for some reason, they actually seem to prefer the dark.
Have you ever wanted to be a superhero? Why wait? There is a place in cyberspace for real life superheroes - people who don costumes and fight crime or just do good deeds. Click on World Superhero Registry. Hope to see you there!
Aaron: What position did Bruce Wayne play on his little-league team?
Erin: He was the batboy.
Despite his name, ‘Spiderman’ does not eat bugs. He eats regular people food, just like the rest of us do.
Customer: Where does Superman shop for groceries?
Cashier: At the Supermarket!
We are MFOL! . . . saving humanity one joke at a time - and you do not need a cape or the ability to fly to go out into the world and ‘Make Fun Of Life!’
Superman climbed the Empire State Building to challenge King Kong to a fight. King Kong said, “I don’t have time - I’ve got to catch a plane!”
Why do superheroes wear their underpants on the outside of their clothes? Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman all wear elaborate costumes. The trio of superhero characters was created between 1935 and 1945. They were meant to be men and women of action, so their costumes were based on the men and women of action of the time. Superman’s costume was originally like that of a circus strongman. Wonder Woman’s was modeled on the costume of a trapeze artist. Their costumes were meant to be flashy and exciting and glamorous. Batman’s costume was based more on the black-and-white ‘film noir’ movies of the times, which were about dark avengers who skulked about in the shadows, scaring the wits out of criminals (Sounds like fun, right? Maybe you should consider a career in law enforcement.). Because Batman was meant to be a scary character, his costume made him look like a creepy creature from the shadows. Those costume styles stuck and became clichéd, particularly since the three characters had become instant hits of that time period. So, when new superheroes began to arrive, they also tended to have capes and tights just like circus-strongman Superman wears, or colorful trapeze outfits like Wonder Woman wears, or dark cloaks and scary masks like Batman wears. Because superhero creators are competitive, the result over time was that superhero costumes became more and more show-offish. And, what looks like underwear worn on the outside of their superhero costumes is actually tight shorts commonly worn by circus performers of the time, which gave them freedom of movement as they did their stunts to entertain audiences. What may look like belts holding up their ‘underpants’ are ‘utility belts’ which can hold any number of tools and devices the superheroes deploy in their crime-fighting adventures.
Heather: Where does Spiderman hang out?
Heath: On the worldwide web.
“Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Superman!” -George Lother, making the program introduction for the “Superman” radio show (first broadcast on 12 February 1940)
Some superheroes have sidekicks, or partners, and some superheroes have no sidekicks.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer ever teamed up, would they become ‘alloys’?
Thaddeus: Why did Batman go to the pet shop?
Tad: To buy a Robin.
Super Quiz
- What characteristics or traits do superheroes have in common with you?
- If you were a superhero, what would you choose as your alter-ego name?
- Which superhero would you like to have lunch with?
- If you were a superhero, what would your costume look like?
- Other than as entertainment, do superheroes serve any useful purpose?
- What people from history most resemble superheroes?
Mel: What was Batman’s ‘real’ name?
Nel: Bruce Wayne.
Overheard: If I could be any superhero, I would be Aluminum Man - my superpower would be ‘foiling’ crime . . .
Hope: How many caped crusaders does it take to change a light bulb?
Faith: None; for some reason, they actually seem to prefer the dark.
Have you ever wanted to be a superhero? Why wait? There is a place in cyberspace for real life superheroes - people who don costumes and fight crime or just do good deeds. Click on World Superhero Registry. Hope to see you there!
Aaron: What position did Bruce Wayne play on his little-league team?
Erin: He was the batboy.
Despite his name, ‘Spiderman’ does not eat bugs. He eats regular people food, just like the rest of us do.
Customer: Where does Superman shop for groceries?
Cashier: At the Supermarket!
We are MFOL! . . . saving humanity one joke at a time - and you do not need a cape or the ability to fly to go out into the world and ‘Make Fun Of Life!’