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 If I Were A Bird
If I were a bird, I’d sing a song And fly about the whole day long, And when the night came, Go to rest, up in my cozy little nest. By Author Unknown
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 The Red Hen
She turned her head to this side; She turned her head to that. Looking round for tidbits, Juicy ones and fat. Scritchy-scratch went Red Hen’s feet; Nib-nob went her bill. She ate of juicy tidbits, Until she had her fill. And then she flew into a nest And laid an egg, and then. With a cut-cut-cut, ca-dah-cut, Flew off to eat again. By James S. Tippett James Sterling Tippett was born on 7 September 1885 in Memphis, Missouri, United States of America. He became a teacher, professor, poet, and writer of children’s books. James Sterling Tippett passed on at 73 years of age in 1958 in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, United State of America.  The Dogs Song
I see the Dogs, The Dogs see me, I like the Dogs, The Dogs like me. Big furry Dogs, One, two, three, I like the Dogs, And the Dogs like me. By Author Unknown  Josephine: What do you get when you cross a rooster and a duck? Josie: A bird that wakes you at the ‘quack’ of dawn. The chicken is the most common species of bird on Earth. There are presently about two chickens for every one human in the world. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Fun Facts and Trivia” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Maggie: What has feathers and writes? Margie: A ballpoint hen. The morning wakeup call heard on farms is male chickens, or roosters, crowing, “Cock-a-doodle-doo!” The female chicken is called a hen and she says, “Cluck, cluck, cluck!” The young chickens are called chicks and they say, “Cheep, cheep, cheep!” “Chickens not only are capable of learning, they are also capable of teaching one another. It turns out that chickens are not as dumb as popular mythology makes them out to be.” -Tom Regan: “Empty Cages: Facing the Challenge of Animal Rights” (2004), chapter 6, page 105 “The chicken probably came before the egg, because someone would have had to set on the egg.” -Author Unknown Rose: Why do roosters never get rich? Pearl: Because they work for chicken feed. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Employment and Work” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Chickens Facts - Chickens are domestic poultry, or birds kept by humans for their eggs, meat, feathers, as live ornaments in elaborate gardens, or as pets. - The plural of chicken is chickens. - The sounds made by adult chickens are called clucking and cackling. - An adult male chicken is called a rooster or a cock. - The sound made by a rooster or a cock is called crowing. - A young male chicken is called a cockerel. - An adult female chicken is called a hen. - A young female chicken is called a pullet. - A young chicken, either male or female, is called a chick. - A group of chickens is called a flock. - A group of chicks hatched in the same setting time by a single hen is called a brood. - The sound made by chicks is called cheeping or peeping. Marvin: What signs would you find on the ‘In’ and ‘Out’ boxes on the desk of a poultry farmer? Melvin: ‘Cock-A-Doodle-Do’ and ‘Cock-A-Doodle-Done.’ Margaret: What do you call a hen that counts eggs? Rolland: A mathemachicken. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Numbers And Counting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “A chicken doesn’t stop scratching just because the worms are scarce.” -John Peers  The Poultries Let’s think of eggs. They have no legs. Chickens come from eggs, But they have no legs. The plot thickens; Eggs come from chickens, But have no legs under ‘em. What a conundrum! By Ogden Nash Marvin: How do you stop a rooster from crowing early in the morning? Irving: Eat him the night before. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Mealtimes and Eating” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Does a baby chicken, called a chick, breathe inside the egg, and if so, how? An eggshell may look solid, but it actually has about 8,000 pores that are large enough for oxygen to flow in and carbon dioxide to flow out. This was proven in 1863 when John Davy of Edinburgh, Scotland pumped pressurized air into an underwater egg and watched as thousands of tiny air bubbles appeared. The head of a chicken develops at the large end of the egg. About three days before hatching, the baby chick punctures the air cell at the base of the egg with its sharp egg tooth (a tiny, horn-shaped point on top of its beak) and breathes its first gulp of air, while still inside the egg. As soon as it can breathe, it can peep. Peeping and tapping can be heard from inside the egg as the chick chips a hole in the egg to make its way into the outside world. Grace: What animals go, “Buzz-cluck, buzz-cluck”? George: Electric chickens! The Rooster The farm is in a flurry. The rooster caught the flu. His cock-a-doodle-doo Has changed to cock-a doodle-choo! By Author Unknown Eunice: What type of jokes do chickens like best? Eustice: Corny ones! A typical hen lays 19 dozen eggs a year. If 12 eggs are in a dozen, how many eggs does a typical hen lay in a year? Patrice: How does a chicken put together a meal? Richard: It starts from scratch. A hen produces one egg about every 34 hours. If you have a family of six and you want two eggs, bacon, hash-brown potatoes, and buttered toast with jam for breakfast every morning for each of you, how many hens would you need in your flock? Alice: Why was the chicken sent to the principal’s office? Alvin: For pecking on the other students. Chickens can fly better than emus, kiwis, ostriches, and penguins combined. Yet, chickens cannot fly as well as most other species of birds because they have a heavy body weight in proportion to their wingspans. The world record for a nonstop chicken flight is a little more than 210 meters (690 feet) accomplished in 13 seconds. Chicken keepers sometimes clip the wing feathers of chickens to prevent them from flying over fences, which the chickens probably attempt to do because it is in their nature to try to get out to go cross the road . . .  The Chicken Family Down in the barnyard, early in the morning, See the chicken family all in a row. The mommy chicken, she is called a hen. Cluck, cluck, cluck, and off she goes. Down in the barnyard, early in the morning, See the chicken family all in a row. See the daddy chicken, he is called a rooster. Cock-a-doodle-doo and off he goes. Down in the barnyard, early in the morning, See the chicken family all in a row. See the baby chickens, they are called chicks. Cheep, cheep, cheep, and off they go. By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poetry” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Russell: Who tells the best chicken jokes? Randall: Comedihens! Three Hens When three hens go a-walking, they Observe this order and array: The first hen walks in front, and then Behind her walks the second hen, While, move they slow or move they fast, You find the third hen walking last. By Henry Johnstone Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Walking and Ambulating” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. City Slicker: I would like to buy a chicken. Farmer: Want a pullet? City Slicker: Not really - I would rather carry it. Before running out and getting chickens, first find out about local ordinances, or laws, which may stipulate if you can keep chickens or not, how many you can have, and any other restrictions. You may be able to keep chickens only if you heed certain rules; for example, you may not be able to have crowing roosters and cackling hens if there are noise ordinances, and you will want to learn how to keep chickens from being too loud before getting any of them. You may be able to give chickens the run of your property (free-range chickens) or you may be required to keep them in enclosures (coops and pens and runs). Garth: Why do people go to chicken shows? Jethro: For the hentertainment. Chickens are the closest living relatives of the now-extinct yet still terrifying carnivorous Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaur. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Dinosaurs Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Donald: What was the hen doing at the bank? Ronald: Opening a chicken account. As omnivores, or animals that eat plants and animals, chickens have a varied diet. They will eat just about anything, including beetles, worms, corn, oats, snails, slugs, seeds, fruit, vegetables, acorns, kitchen scraps, and many other foods. They also swallow tiny stones to help them digest their food. They have a well-developed gizzard, which is a part of the stomach containing the tiny stones that grind up their food. Marla: Where do tough chickens come from? Darla: Hard-boiled eggs. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Life and Living” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Chickens communicate with each other using calls, or vocalizations. Calls alert other chickens to specific items of interest. Chickens have one call used to let other chickens know a threat is in the sky, such as a hawk, a threat is on the ground, such as a snake, or yet another call to excitedly let other chickens know they have found food. Lucky: Why does a chicken coop have only two doors? Chance: Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Vehicles And Driving Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “i have noticed that when chickens quit quarreling over their food they often find that there is enough for all of them i wonder if it might not be the same with the human race” -Don Marquis (Donald Robert Perry ‘Don’ Marquis (1878 - 1937)): “archy’s life of mehitabel, random thoughts by archy” (1933), using lower case letters and no punctuation, in the style of the fictional writer character he created Henny: What sound does a chicken crossed with a cow make? Penny: “Cock-a-doodle-moo-ooo!” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Cattle Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Are there any wild chickens? Chickens were domesticated from wild junglefowl, mostly from the Red Junglefowl, with some domestic chickens also having Grey Junglefowl, Sri Lankan Junglefowl, and Javanese Green Junglefowl in their ancestry. Wild junglefowl are presently abundant and thriving, though at increasing risk of becoming less wild as they encounter feral and stray domestic chickens at the borders between their native habitats and human civilization.  Classified advertisement seen in a rural newspaper: Will trade a rooster that crows at 4 o’clock for one that crows at 5 o’clock. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Mornings and Dawns” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Trevor: What animal makes the sound, “Cluck-bubble, cluck-bubble!”? Veronica: A chicken of the sea. ‘Alektorophobia’ is a persistent fear of chickens. Chickens are small creatures, yet they can unleash a great amount of fierceness on anyone whom they suspect may be a threat to themselves, their young, or their eggs. Roosters have sharp pointed spurs on their legs designed specifically to inflict injury, and both hens and roosters come equipped with sharp beaks. This phobia makes good sense! Annette: What book tells you all about chickens? Nettie: A hencyclopedia. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Reading And Books Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Gregory: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian? Olaf: An eggstraterrestrial! The Hen The hen is a ferocious fowl, She pecks you till she makes you howl. And all the time she flaps her wings, And says the most insulting things. And when you try to take her eggs, She bites pieces from your legs. The only safe way to get these, Is to creep on your hands and knees. In the meanwhile a friend must hide, And jump out on the other side. And then you snatch the eggs and run, While she pursues the other one. The difficulty is to find A trusty friend who will not mind. By Alfred Douglas Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Horror Stories Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Percival: How does the little red hen bake a cake? Henrietta: From scratch! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Baked Goods” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Chickens need a coop (chicken house) in which to lay their eggs in nest boxes and in which to roost (sleep) on narrow wood boards placed horizontally above the floor. A coop should keep them warm in Winter and shaded in Summer, and keep them safe from predators. Adjacent to the coop should be an open fenced-in area (pen or run) in which the chickens can be watered and fed during warm weather and in which they can get exercise and exposure to sunlight. Gwyneth: What did the mother hen say to her baby chick? Gwendolyn: “You’re eggstra special!” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Babies and Infants” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Chickens are versatile animals: they can be general-purpose chickens, egg producers (layers), dinner (fryers), insect controllers, pets, feather filling for pillows and mattresses, mother chickens (setting hens), show chickens (competition), and even alarm clock roosters. Which kind do you want? Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Differences And Individuality Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Chickens are scientifically classified as follows: - Kingdom: Animalia (animals). - Phylum: Chordata (animals possessing a notochord, a hollow dorsal nerve cord, pharyngeal slits, an endostyle, and a tail for at least some period of their life cycle). - Subphylum: Vertebrata (animals with backbones). - Class: Aves (Birds). - Order: Galliformes. - Family: Phasianidae. - Genus: Gallus. - Species: Gallus domesticus. - Scientific name: Gallus gallus domesticus. Lillian: Why was the chicken afraid of the chicken? Starlet: Because it was chicken. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Fears And Courage Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Chickens have many predators, or animals that want to eat them or their eggs. Predators of chickens include skunks, owls, raccoons, foxes, hawks, opossums, bobcats, snakes, weasels, dogs, and humans. For this reason, chickens often need coops and pens for protection. Lucy: Where are you likely to find the chicken in a grocery store? Lucille: Standing in the eggspress line. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Shopping” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. The Chickens Said the first little chicken, With a queer little squirm, “I wish I could find A fat little worm!” Said the next little chicken, With an odd little shrug, “I wish I could find A fat little bug!” Said the third little chicken, With a small sigh of grief: “I wish I could find A green little leaf!” Said the fourth little chicken, With a faint little moan: “I wish I could find A wee gravel stone!” “Now see here!” said the mother, From the green garden patch, “If you want any breakfast, Just come here and scratch!” By Author Unknown Patricia: If a rooster laid an egg at noon on the pointed roof of a barn located precisely on the Earth’s equator, which way would the egg roll?
Priscilla: Neither way, because roosters do not lay eggs - hens do, you silly goose! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Puzzles And Riddles” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? According to “The Bible” (New King James Version), ‘Book of Genesis,’ chapter 1, verses 20 through 22, the chicken came before the egg: “Then God said, ‘Let the waters abound with an abundance of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the face of the firmament of the heavens.’ So God created great sea creatures and every living thing that moves, with which the waters abounded, according to their kind, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. And God blessed them, saying, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth.’” Percy: What kind of eggs does a mixed-up hen lay? Percival: Scrambled! Chicken feed: A poultry sum. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Money” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “I didn’t even know that chickens could fly, and suddenly one was landing on me. It happened when I was visiting a farm sanctuary. If I had been younger I would have asked my parents if I could take her home, please! After all, she chose me. Never mind that she chose everybody; she was a particularly friendly chicken. She made soft, strange cooing sounds and nestled into my arms like a happy kitten.” -Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson: “The Pig Who Sang to the Moon: The Emotional World of Farm Animals” (2004), chapter 2, page 57 If you want to know more about chickens, may we suggest that you become a member of www.BackyardChickens.com. Be sure to mention that you learned about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net. We are MFOL! . . . time to gather the eggs . . . cluck-cluck-cluck!  The Three Little Kittens
The three little kittens, they lost their mittens, And they began to cry, “Oh, mother dear, we sadly fear, That we have lost our mittens.” “What! Lost your mittens, you naughty kittens! Then you shall have no pie.” “Meow, meow, meow.” “Then you shall have no pie.” The three little kittens, they found their mittens, And they began to cry, “Oh, mother dear, see here, see here, For we have found our mittens.” “Put on your mittens, you silly kittens, And you shall have some pie.” “Purr, purr, purr, Oh, let us have some pie.” The three little kittens put on their mittens, And soon ate up the pie, “Oh, mother dear, we greatly fear, That we have soiled our mittens.” “What, soiled your mittens, you naughty kittens!” Then they began to sigh, “Meow, meow, meow,” Then they began to sigh. The three little kittens, they washed their mittens, And hung them out to dry, “Oh, mother dear, do you not hear, That we have washed our mittens?” “What, washed your mittens, then you’re good kittens, But I smell a rat close by.” “Meow, meow, meow, We smell a rat close by.” By Eliza Lee Follen: “Little Songs for Little Boys and Girls” (1833) Eliza Lee Follen was born as Eliza Lee Cabot on 15 August 1787 in Boston, Massachusetts, United States of America. She became a writer and a Sunday school teacher. Eliza Lee Follen passed on at 72 years of age on 26 January 1860 in Cambridge, Massachusetts, United States of America.  A Burrowing Owl Also Known As A Ground Owl Each evening, bird enthusiast Dave stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl. One night, an owl finally called back to him. For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of their ‘conversations.’ Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication, his wife had a chat with her next-door neighbor. “My husband spends his nights calling out to owls,” she said. “That’s odd,” her neighbor replied. “So does my husband!” Mr. Owl I saw an owl up in a tree, I looked at him, he looked at me; I couldn’t tell you of his size, For all I saw were two big eyes; As soon as I could, I made a dash, Straight home I ran, quick as a flash! By Edna Hamilton Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Fears And Courage Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Owls are feathered birds from the order Strigiformes. Owls are divided into two families: the true owls or typical owls, which are scientifically named Strigidae; and the barn-owls, which are scientifically named Tytonidae. At present, there are 198 different species of owls confirmed to be living on Earth. However, there are possibly more than 250 species, as wildlife biologists and other scientists try to work out an accurate definition of the word ‘species’ and as they continue to study owls around the world. Vance: What does an owl need after a bath? Vincente: A t-owl. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Personal Hygiene And Cleanliness” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “My friends call me an owl. Apparently, it’s a combination of being wise and having big eyes.” -Romy Madley Croft Olaf: What do you get if you cross a cat and an owl? Philo: Meowls. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Domestic Cats Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “An owl is mostly air.” -Ursula K. Le Guin (Ursula Kroeber Le Guin (born 1929))  Australian Tawny Frogmouth Owls Wise owls want us all to know that we do not need to be worried, fearful, or anxious . . . because everything will be owl-right . . . Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Stress and Anxiety” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Owls Facts - Owls are birds that have large eyes, flat faces, and curved beaks. - An adult male owl is called a cock or simply an owl. - An adult female owl is called a hen. - A young owl is called an owlet, a chick, or a fledgling. - The plural of owl is owls. - A group of owls is called a family, a parliament, a stare, or a wisdom. - The sounds made by owls are called barks, growls, hisses, hoots, rattles, screams, screeches, shrieks, wails, and whistles. - Many owls are nocturnal, meaning that they are most active at night. - Some owls, including Barred Owls, are diurnal, or active in the daytime. - Owls are found everywhere on Earth except for Antarctica, Greenland, and a small number of islands in extremely cold areas. A Wise Old Owl A wise old owl lived in an oak; The more he saw the less he spoke; The less he spoke the more he heard: Why can’t we all be like that bird? By Edward H. Richards (Edward Hersey Richards (1874 - 1957)) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poetic Epigrams Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Owls are birds that typically have an upright stance, large heads with large eyes and curved beaks, binocular vision, asymmetrical ears with binaural hearing, sharp talons resembling claws on their feet, and feathers adapted for silent flight. I know very well what I’d rather be If I didn’t always have to be me! I’d rather be an owl, A downy feathered owl, A wink-ity, blink-ity, yellow-eyed owl In a hole in a hollow tree. -Mary Hunter Austin (1868 - 1934): “Rathers” Owls are small birds that do not fear nighttime or darkness, and they are actually quite comfortable in it. May this knowledge give you courage in the absence of light. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Overcoming Fears And Becoming Courageous Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Oswald: What do you call an owl with a deep voice? Waldo: A growl. Owls have circles of radiating feathers surrounding their eyes, giving them a very alert look. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Appearances And Looks” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Emma: What does a well-educated owl say? Emmet: “Whom, whom.” Night owl: A person who is active at night. For example, some bakers are night owls; they stay awake all night baking bread, cakes, cookies, doughnuts, and other foods so they can deliver freshly baked goods to customers each morning. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Daffynitions And Definitions Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Owls have large eyes that face forward, while most other birds have eyes on the sides of their heads. This eye arrangement results in binocular vision with precise depth perception. Their eyeballs are tubular in shape, and because of this, owls cannot move their eyes from side to side, so instead, they turn their heads, as much as 270 degrees (135 degrees to either side), to follow moving objects. Owls are far-sighted, meaning that they cannot clearly see objects that are close to their eyes, but that is fine, because what owls mostly focus on are small animals that are at a far distance, often well below them on the ground, mostly at night, and their eyes allow them to see such objects quite clearly.  Owls are found in all areas of the Earth except Antarctica and some inhospitably cold, desolate islands. Owls inhabit, or make their homes in, a variety of ecological niches around the world, from rain forests to tundra to deserts, and from grasslands to urban areas. Most owls do not build their own nests, but instead, use the abandoned nests and burrows of other animals, or they nest in crevices in rocks. Barn owls often live near humans so they can nest in buildings. “If you hear an owl hoot, ‘To whom,’ instead of, ‘To who,’ you can be sure he was born and educated in Boston.” -Author Unknown An owl was perched in a tree, Quiet, yet as wise as could be; His eyes shining bright, In the soft moonlight, He was really a sight to see. -Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Limericks Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Gil: What is an owl’s favorite kind of math? Bert: Owlgebra. Owls see mostly in black and white, although they can see the color blue, and in fact, they are the only birds that can see the color blue. Roger: Why can an owl not be an electrician? Gregory: Because an owl is a bird. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Employment and Work” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Owls have the most highly developed sense of hearing of all birds. Their binaural hearing allows them to know precisely the direction and origin of sounds, such as the nearly imperceptible rustling sounds of grass or leaves that reveal a mouse’s movements and location. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Owls say. Owls say, who? Yes, they do! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Knock-Knock Jokes” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.  A Burrowing Owl Also Known As A Ground Owl Owls have varied ways of living. Many owls are nocturnal, or active at night. Some owls are diurnal, or active in the daytime, including the Northern Hawk-Owl. Some owls are solitary, and some are gregarious, like the Burrowing Owl. Burrowing owls, also known as ground owls, are different from other owls because they tend to be diurnal, or active during the daytime, rather than being nocturnal, or active at night. While many owls live in the abandoned homes of other animals or that occur naturally, burrowing owls live in burrows that they themselves dig in the ground. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Homes And Families Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Owls are quieter than a whisper in flight. In fact, owls are quieter in flight than any other birds of prey. Their specialized feathers help them be silent flyers. Maggie: What do you call an owl escapologist? Reggie: A real Hoodini. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Magic And Sleight Of Hand Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. The color of owls’ feathers helps them blend into their environment, or surroundings. This type of concealing color pattern is called ‘camouflage.’ Al: What do you get when you cross a thousand screech owls with a thousand roosters? Fred: A really big headache first thing in the morning! Common Owls - Barn owls - Hoot owls - Owl be right back. - Owl see you in a while. - Screech owls - Spotted owls - Tufted owls - Woodsy Owl Can you think of other common owls? Woodsy Owl says, “Give a hoot - don’t pollute!” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Environmentalism and Animal Rights” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Owls have strong gripping talons, or curved claws, on their toes. On each of their feet, they have two toes facing forward and two toes facing backward, giving them the ability to swoop down from above, catch small animals, and fly away with them.  These owls hold the post of Guardians of the Woods. Who?! Who?! Inquiring owls will want to know Who you are, and your intentions If ever into their home woods you Would dare to glance or to venture. By David Hugh Beaumont (Born 1966) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Beaumont’s Bits. Elma: Why was the owl dressed in shining armor? Elmer: He was a knight owl. “Smallest of the British owls, the Little Owl is only 22 cm from head to tail, which is less than a centimetre larger than a Starling . . . Although Little Owls may be seen during the day, most of their hunting takes place at dusk or the few hours after dark and again around dawn. They will catch small mammals and sometimes birds, but most of their food is insects and earthworms.” -Bill Oddie and Peter Holden: “Birds in the Nest” (1996) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Nature and Wildlife” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Imagine yourself as an owl. You are perched on a tree branch, waiting for your next meal. Far below you, along it comes, a small fury mouse, making its way through the grass in search of seeds. You launch yourself silently into the air, and swoop down toward your prey, glide around in a curve that takes you right behind it, and you snatch the unsuspecting mouse in your talons, and then, with the mouse in your grasp, you flap your wings and make your way back up into your tree. Judy: Somebody said you sound like an owl. Judith: Who, who? A picture of an owl was used to represent the sound of the letter ‘m’ in ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs, or pictorial writings, which was their version of what we now call the alphabet. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The Alphabet And Letters Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “The owl, that bird of onomatopoetic name, is a repetitious question wrapped in feathery insulation especially for Winter delivery.” -Hal Borland (Harold Glen ‘Hal’ Borland (1900 - 1978)) Owls are birds of prey. They are carnivores, or animals that eat animals. Owls that are nocturnal, hunt their prey, or animals that they intend to eat, at night. They have a keen sense of sight that allows them to find prey in the dark. They have an acute sense of hearing, which also helps in finding food. Owls are stealth hunters; their feather colors blend in with their surroundings, and they can easily sneak up on their prey, because their fluffy feathers give them almost silent flight. Owls hunt and eat birds, crabs, earthworms, fish, frogs, insects, mice, reptiles, shrews, snails, snakes, spiders, toads, voles, and other small animals. Great horned owls are the only animals that eat skunks. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Animals And Animal Natures Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Pamela: What does the cybernetic owl from the future say? Amelia: “Owl be back!” How now, screech owl? Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Nonsense” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Fern: Why did the owl sit in the tree not saying anything? Fran: Because she didn’t give a hoot. Owls hoot in B flat. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Music” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “There are day owls, and there are night owls, and each is beautiful and even musical while about its business.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)  Though often unseen and unheard by humans, stealthy owls rule the night sky over their territories. Owls stake their claims to their territories through vocalizations, or calls, that vary by owl species, and can include whistles, rattles, barks, screeches, hisses, shrieks, growls, wails, screams, and kee-wicks. Some, but not, all owls hoot. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Who. Who, who? Did you hear an owl just now? “Owls are not like other birds. I suppose one could say this about any avian tribe, but owls are particularly unlike, with layered dimensions of dissimilarity.” -Lyanda Lynn Haupt: “Rare Encounters with Ordinary Birds” (2001), Chapter 2 Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Differences And Individuality Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. The predators of owls include wildcats, foxes, raccoons, and eagles. Predators are animals that hunt, kill, and eat other animals. Where did Barn Owls live before there were barns? Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Questions And Queries Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. How big are owls? Owls vary in size. The smallest owls are the Elf Owls, which are about 16 centimeters (6.1 inches) long, have a wingspan of 38 centimeters (15 inches), and weigh about 4 grams (1.5 ounces). Great Gray Owls are about 84 centimeters (33 inches) long, have a wingspan of about 152 centimeters (5 feet), and weigh about 1,450 grams (3 pounds). Eurasian Eagle Owls, which are about 71 centimeters (28 inches) long, have a wingspan of about 160 centimeters (5.2 feet), and weigh up to 4,200 grams (9.8 pounds), and the Great Horned Owls, which are about 63 centimeters (25 inches) long, have a wingspan of about 152 centimeters (5 feet), and weigh about 1,800 grams (4 pounds). Owl 1: Knock, knock! Owl 2: Who’s there? Owl 1: Whoo. Owl 2: Whoo, who? Owl 1: Whoo! Owl 2: Whoo, who? Owl 1: Whoo!  Hootie: Why did the owl invite his friends over to his tree?
Owlsy: He didn’t want to be owl by himself. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Loneliness And Solitude Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Owls have been found in fossils of about 58 million years of age. The largest recorded owl fossil, belonging to the species scientifically named Orinmegalonyx oteroi, stood about three feet tall. Kenneth: What do owls like to do for fun? Maribelle: Maybe they perch in places from which they have a good view and practice hooting. Mr. Owl Said Mr. Owl, Sitting in a tree, “How would you like To be like me? I sleep all day In the bright sunlight, And look for my dinner In the middle of the night!” By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Life and Living” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “Do you think I was born in a wood to be afraid of an owl?” -Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745): “Polite Conversation” (about 1738), Dialogue I Polly: What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster? Anna: Pearls of wisdom. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Wisdom And Advice” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. The screech-owl, with ill-boding cry, Portends strange things, old women say; Stops every fool that passes by, And frights the school-boy from his play. -Mary Wortley Montagu (born Mary Pierrepont (1689 - 1762)): “The Politicians,” Stanza 4 “If you have never seen an owl fly at night you have not yet seen the triumph of the wing. The owl is the artist, the poet of flight, as the nightingale is of song.” -Rev. James H. Ecob: “Our Fellow Citizens, the Sparrows” (1895) Barn owls and other species of owls are helpful to farmers because a single owl can eat as many as 1,000 mice in a year. Mice are undesirable to farmers because they eat farm crops and spoil stored foods. There was an old man of Dumbree, Who taught little owls to drink tea; For he said, “To eat mice Is not proper or nice,” That amiable man of Dumbree. -Edward Lear (1812 - 1888) In Canada, the Great Horned Owl is the province bird of Alberta, the Great Grey Owl is the province bird of Manitoba, and the Snowy Owl is the province bird of Quebec. The birds have been appointed to these official positions, which carry the important responsibility of helping to reduce the pest and rodent populations in the provinces. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Canada Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “The little owls call to each other with tremulous, quavering voices throughout the livelong night, as they sit in the creaking trees.” -Theodore Roosevelt (Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919)) The Owl In The Tree I saw an owl, He sat in a tree. He opened one eye, He winked at me. By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Faces and Facial Expressions” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Owl jokes are a real hoot, so we will add more as time goes by, for you and all of your owl friends. Further humor, inspiration, and learning follows . . . on MFOL!  What Is A Whale?
A whale is not as small as us; Most whales are bigger than a bus! A whale is not like a fish in the sea; A whale breathes air like you and me. A whale can’t walk upon the ground; A whale must swim to get around. A whale is a mammal just like you and me; But its home is in the deep blue sea. By Author Unknown  Albert: Do you know why rabbits jump? Elbert: Is it because they are in a hoppy mood? Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Emotions and Feelings” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Rabbits are extremely quiet, fast-moving animals with big eyes, whiskers, and short tails. They have medium-length, thick fur that is white, tan, brown, gray, or black, with some having more than one color to their fur. Size varies among the different species of rabbits and between wild rabbits and domesticated rabbits. Generally, fully-grown rabbits can be 20 to 60 centimeters (8 inches to 24 inches) in length from nose to tail. They have big ears that can be up to 10 centimeters (4 inches) long, to listen for danger. Rabbits can weigh 0.5 kilograms to 3 kilograms (1.1 to 6.6 pounds). Rabbits have big, powerful hind legs, which they use for hopping and for digging burrows in the ground. Bud: What do you get if you cross a rabbit with an elephant? Mack: An animal that never forgets to eat its carrots! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Elephants Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Rabbits Facts - An adult male rabbit is called a buck or a jack. - An adult female rabbit is called a doe or a jill. - A young rabbit is called a bunny or a bunny rabbit. - A group of rabbits is called a colony or a nest. - The sounds made by rabbits are called squeaking and drumming. - Rabbits are herbivores, or animals that eat plants. - A rabbit in the wild usually lives for less than 3 years. - A rabbit in captivity can live for about 8 years. Abbie: What kind of cars do rabbits drive? Gail: Hoprods! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Vehicles And Driving Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. A Welsh rabbit, also known as a Welsh rarebit, is a dish of melted cheese on toast. Rabbits live in a variety of environments, including deserts, swamps, marshes, forests, grasslands, and prairies. They are found on every continent except Antarctica. More than half of the world’s rabbits live in North America. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Vehicles And Driving Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Cynthia: Why does your rabbit always have a shiny nose? Cecilia: Because it has its powder puff on the wrong end. What is the difference between hares, jackrabbits, and rabbits? Hare and jackrabbit are different names for the same animal. Rabbits, however, are a different animal, although they look similar enough to be confused with hares. How can one tell rabbits and hares apart? Hares and rabbits are both members of a family of animals called Leporidae, but are different species of animals within that animal family. One notable difference is that hares are wild animals that are not domesticated and cannot be kept as pets. Rabbits, however, come in both wild and domesticated varieties. Hares have larger bodies, larger and longer hindlegs, or back legs, and larger and longer hindfeet, or back feet, as well as longer, black-tipped ears, other black markings in their fur, and white or gray underbellies. Hares are wild animals that were possibly domesticated in times past, but are not domesticated animals now. Rabbits can be wild animals and have also been made into domestic animals that can be kept as pets or as farm animals. Hares live singly, or have solitary lives, and sometimes build simplified nests called forms above ground, while rabbits build burrows underground and commonly live in groups. When pursued, rabbits can run and hide in their burrows, but hares must outrun and outmaneuver their pursuers, or be ‘as wily as a hair.’ Rabbits are typically smaller than hares (except Flemish Giant Rabbits), and prefer to eat grass and leafy plants. Hares are typically larger than rabbits, and will eat twigs and bark. “Once upon a time there were four little Rabbits, and their names were - Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail, and Peter . . .” “You may go into the fields or down the lane, but don’t go into Mr. McGregor’s garden: your Father had an accident there; he was put in a pie by Mrs. McGregor.” -Beatrix Potter (Helen Beatrix Potter (1866 - 1943)): “The Tale of Peter Rabbit” (1902)  Girl Holding Giant Flemish Rabbit Congratulations, you have caught the Easter Bunny . . . well, almost. Shown is a Flemish Giant Rabbit, large domesticated rabbits that can be kept as pets. They average about 6.8 kilograms (15 pounds) in weight and can be just a little over 1.2 meters (4 feet) long. These docile floppity-woppity flopsie-wopsies are available in black, blue, fawn, sandy, light gray, steel gray, and white - so there is sure to be one to complement your decor. Visit http://flemish-giant.com. Mercy: What did the rabbit say to the carrot? Marcy: “It’s been nice gnawing you!” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Carrots” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Rabbits are herbivores, or plant-eaters. They eat grasses, herbs, leaves, bark, and twigs - and they are especially partial to the tasty vegetables that grow abundantly in people’s gardens. “Does anyone know an effective way of keeping rabbits out of a garden that does not involve building a fence? I have tried that already, but the rabbit will not sit still long enough for me to get the fence all the way around him.” -Gene Wolfe: ‘From a Chain Letter to George R. R. Martin and Greg Benford’ (10 July 1982), published in “Castle of Days” (1992) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Gardens And Gardening Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Cindy: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Mindy: Because you never see a rabbit wearing eyeglasses! Rabbits dig homes in the ground called burrows. Rabbits are gregarious animals, meaning that they often live in groups. A group of rabbits is called a colony, and a group of rabbit burrows connected by tunnels is called a warren. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Homes And Families Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “Little rabbits have big ears.” -Virginia C. Andrews Josie: How many rabbits does it take to change a light bulb? Joey: Only one, if it hops right to it! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Light Bulbs And Artificial Lighting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Bunnies, or young rabbits, are born in burrows (with the exception of the cottontail rabbit, which does not burrow). Does, or the mother rabbits, make fur-lined nests for their bunnies, within their burrows. Bunnies are born blind, with their eyes closed, and without fur. An infant rabbit had lost its parents and was orphaned. Fortunately, though, a family of squirrels took it in and raised it as if it were one of their own. This led to some strange behaviors on the part of the rabbit, including a tendency to not jump, but instead run around like the other squirrels. One day the rabbit was really feeling sad, so it went to its squirrel adoptive parents to discuss the problem. After explaining to them how it felt different from its squirrel adoptive siblings, they gave it a big hug and said, “Don’t scurry, be hoppy!” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Squirrels And Chipmunks Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Hopper: What do you call a rabbit that tells jokes? Jumper: A funny bunny! Wild rabbit populations can increase very quickly. This can be a major problem for people living in areas where they can eat the crops planted by farmers and gardeners. Feral rabbits, or domesticated rabbits that run around loose and live like wild animals, can also be a serious threat to the plants humans value. If you have pet rabbits, never let them go loose, or they will create the same problems as wild rabbits. Rabbits do a dance or binky to express happiness, in which they jump into the air and twist around. Humans do a happy dance or a jump for joy. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read How To Be Happy Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. In 1859, 24 rabbits were released in Australia, and within six years, the population had grown to two million rabbits. Russell: Why did the bunny go to the dance? Randal: To do the bunny hop! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Dance and Dancing” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Kimmy: How do you catch a unique rabbit? Timmy: Unique up on it. Kimmy: How do you catch a tame rabbit? Timmy: Tame way, unique up on it. “Shhhhhhhh, be vewy vewy quiet, I’m hunting wabbits, heheheheheheh.” -Elmer Fudd Marcia: How do you fix a broken wascawy wabbit hunter? Cindy: With Elmer’s glue. Rabbits in the wild live for less than 3 years because they have a great many predators. Predators are animals that hunt, kill, and eat other animals. Predators of rabbits include bobcats, coyotes, dogs, eagles, foxes, hawks, humans, lynxes, raccoons, and weasels. Rabbits have long ears to help them detect predators, and strong back legs to help them swiftly escape from predators. Bob: What do you call a rabbit that plays with foxes? Rob: A not-too-smart bunny!  Becca: What is a twip? Becky: A twip is what a wabbit takes when he wides a twain. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Railroads and Trains” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Rabbits can reach speeds of 29 kilometers (18 miles) an hour. They must be able to move fast so that they can outrun predatory animals that want to eat them. “Rabbits have a habit of coming for breakfast and staying for lunch. Now there’s one leaf instead of a bunch.” -Gerry Krueger Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Mealtimes and Eating” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Rabbits talk to each over short distances other by thumping, or tapping, their feet on the ground, similar to how elephants stomp their feet to communicate. Jack: What do you call one-hundred rabbits hopping backwards? Zack: A receding hairline! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Hair Loss And Baldness Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Before you adopt pet rabbits, you will want to know a little about their ways. Rabbits were at one time classified as rodents (animals of the order Rodentia), but in 1912, they were moved to an order of animals called lagomorphs (animals of the order Lagomorpha). Lagomorphs are strict herbivores (plant eaters), while rodents are omnivores (eaters of both plants and animals). Lagomorphs have four upper incisors (teeth designed for cutting), but rodents have only two. A similarity between lagomorphs and rodents is that the incisors of both types of animals grow constantly throughout their lifetimes, necessitating the regular (often daily) chewing of material to keep them short enough for proper use. If you have pets belonging to either order, you may find they chew on their wire cages or other enclosures, not because they are misbehaving or trying to escape, but because it is essential for them to keep their incisor teeth short, much as humans need to regularly trim their fingernails. It is recommended that you supply your pets with material for them to chew on, such as blocks of raw wood, which is wood that has not been painted, varnished, or treated with preservative chemicals. People at your local pet supply store should be able to give your more information about this. Bess: What did the rabbit give his girlfriend? Ross: A 14-carrot ring! Rabbit I’d like to run like a rabbit in hops, With occasional intermediate stops. He is so cute when he lifts his ears, And looks around to see what he hears. By Tom Robinson Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poetry” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Your rabbit should always have clean, fresh water available. Wash out its water bowl daily, or if you use a bottle, empty it daily, wash the bottle, cap, and nozzle, and refill with fresh, clean water. A hydrated, or adequately supplied with water, rabbit is a happy rabbit. Peter: What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a spider? Greg: A hairnet. People often keep rabbits in hutches. A typical rabbit hutch is made of a wire cage with a wire floor and a latched door, and is attached to a wooden box with a latched lid, angled so that rainwater and melting snow will drain off it like it does off the slanted roof of a house. The rabbits can freely go back and forth in an opening between the wire cage and the wooden box. The cage and box have legs attached to them, keeping the hutch off the ground and at a height that allows easy access to the animals through the cage door and box lid. A woman opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves. “What are you doing in there?” she asked. The rabbit replied, “This is a Westinghouse, isn’t it?” The lady furrowed her brow. “Why, yes,” she said, “it is.” “Well,” the rabbit said, “I’m westing.”  Yummy, the Earth is a giant ball of rabbit food . . . you said a mouthful!
A bunny, or young rabbit, can be carried by the scruff of its neck. The scruff is an area of loose skin at the nape, or back of the neck, that can be gripped and held while lifting a bunny, and if done carefully, no harm will be done to the animal. Mother rabbits move bunnies by gripping the scruffs of their necks in their mouths. Humans, of course, should use their hands, to avoid getting a mouthful of rabbit fur. When rabbits become fully-grown, they weigh more, so carrying adult rabbits by the scruff of their necks can be painful for them, and additionally, being prey animals, they have a natural urge to resist, that is, to fight against and attempt to escape from, anyone who attempts to grab onto them. Always keep in mind that rabbits have sharp teeth, sharp claws, and strong hind legs that can deliver a powerful kick. When lifted, an adult rabbit should be held with both hands, firmly but gently. As a rabbit becomes trusting of you, you may be able to scoop it up in your bent arm and hold it against your chest. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Animals And Animal Natures Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Son: Dad, how do you catch a rabbit? Dad: Boy, in order to catch a rabbit, you must hide behind a tree and make a noise like a carrot, and when a rabbit comes along, you reach out and grab it! Andy: Where do rabbits eat breakfast? DeAnne: At IHOP! (International House Of Pancakes - let’s hop on over there for some chow right now!) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Restaurants and Eateries” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Pet rabbits that live inside people’s homes are often referred to as ‘house rabbits.’ If you have a rabbit, find a local veterinarian who is familiar with rabbits. The veterinarian can tell you if your rabbit is healthy, and if it needs a change in diet, vitamins, shots, or a salt block. The vet can also answer any rabbit-related questions you might have. Rabbit Laws - In Tuscumbia, Alabama, it is against the law to have more than eight rabbits per city block. - In Hayden, Arizona, if you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined. - In North Carolina, it is against the law for a rabbit to race down the street. Do you know any other rabbit laws? Gwendolyn: How do you comb a rabbit’s fur? Glenard: With a harebrush. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Barbers and Hairstylists” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “When the wolf invites the rabbit to dinner, the rabbit should first know what is on the menu.” -Author Unknown Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ether. Ether, who? Ether Bunny! Knock, knock. Who’s there? Estelle. Estelle, who? Estelle more Ether Bunnies! Knock, knock. Who’s there? Somoa. Somoa, who? Somoa Ether Bunnies! Knock, knock. Who’s there? Consumption. Consumption, who? Consumption be done about all these Ether Bunnies? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hop. Hop, who? Hop away - Ether Bunnies all gone! “The man who chases too many rabbits will catch none.” -Confucius (a fifteenth-century Portuguese Jesuit scholars’ rendering of the Chinese name K’ung Fu-tzu or K’ung Ch’iu into Classical Latin (English: Master K’ung) about 551 B.C.E. - about 479 B.C.E.)) Flopsy: What do you call the everyday routines of rabbits? Mopsy: Rabbits’ habits. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Habits And Routines Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Rabbits are scientifically categorized as follows. - Domain: Eukarya (multicellular organisms with mitochondria). - Kingdom: Animalia (animals). - Phylum: Chordata (animals having a notochord). - Superclass: Tetrapoda (four-limbed vertibrates) - Subphylum: Vertebrata (animals with backbones). - Infraphylum: Gnathostomata (jawed vertibrates). - Class: Mammalia (mammals, which are warm-blooded animals with fur or hair and that nurse their young). - Order: Lagomorpha (which includes rabbits, hares, and pikas). - Family: Leporidae (rabbits and hares). - Genus: 10 genera of rabbits exist, each having its own unique scientific name. - Species: 28 species of rabbits exist, each having its own unique scientific name. Ella: What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout? Eloise: A boy scout who helps little old ladies hop across the street. Rabbits are not without risk. Rabbits are known to eat themselves to death, by gorging until they bloat, if left alone with too much food. A little rabbit food is good for a rabbit, but more is not necessarily better. So if you have a pet rabbit, know its limits when it comes to food. Do not stuff it with carrots or other high-calorie bulky food, but instead give it dried hay, and a small amount of fresh raw grass, clover, and green leafy vegetables such as lettuce and spinach greens. When it comes to carrots, give your rabbit the green carrot leaves and keep the orange carrot root for yourself. Too much food makes for a fat, unhealthy rabbit and can also shorten its life. There is nothing so sweet as a bunny A dear, little, sweet, little bunny He can hop on his toes He can wiggle his nose And his powder puff tail is quite funny. -Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Limericks Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Rabbits Quiz - What does a rabbit look like? - Where do rabbits live? - What do rabbits eat? - Would a Welsh rabbit make a good pet? Peter: What did the gray rabbit say to the blue rabbit? Perry: “Cheer up!” I’m A Little Bunny I’m a little bunny with a cotton tail, See me hop down the bunny trail. When I spy a carrot, my ears they shake, Then, of course, a bite I take. “Crunch!” By Joy Zomerdyke Binky: What kind of bedtime stories do rabbits like? Earsy: Ones with hoppy endings! We are MFOL! . . . now let’s bunny-hop to the next topic . . .  To The Fire-Fly
The morning, when the earth and sky Are glowing with the light of spring, We see thee not, thou humble fly! Nor think upon thy gleaming wing. But when the skies have lost their hue, And sunny lights no longer play, Then we see and bless thee too For sparkling o’er the dreary way. Thus let me hope, when lost to me The lights that now my life illume, Some milder joys may come, like thee, To cheer, if not to warm, the gloom. By Thomas Moore: “The Poetical Works of Thomas Moore: Complete in One Volume” (1853) Thomas Moore was born on 28 May 1779 in Dublin, Ireland. He was married to Elizabeth ‘Bessy’ Dyke in 1811. He became a novelist, a biographer, a poet, a songwriter, a singer, and an entertainer. Thomas Moore passed on at 72 years of age on 25 February 1852 in Bromham, Wiltshire, England.  Lynetta: What do you get when you cross a frog and a hare? Madeline: A bunny ribbit. “Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Ann Evans, possibly also known as Marian Evans Cross (1819 - 1880)): “Scenes of Clerical Life” (1858), ‘Mr. Gilfil’s Love-Story,’ Chapter VII Marty: Who grants wishes to animals? Martin: Their furry godmother. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Fairy Tales And Folk Tales Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “We value art and science and literature, because these are things in which we excel. But whales might value spouting, and donkeys might maintain that a good bray is more exquisite than the music of Bach.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970)): “Mortals and Others” (14 September 1932), ‘If animals could talk’ (14 September 1932), pages 117 and 118 Darrell: What do you get when you cross a turtle and a porcupine? Russell: A slowpoke. “For a good life: Work like a dog. Eat like a horse. Think like a fox. And play like a rabbit.” -George E. Allen (1832 - 1907) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Wisdom And Advice” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Animals communicate with each other in various ways. Chickens make specific sounds called alarms to communicate to other chickens that a predator has been identified, calling out differently for hawks flying overhead and for snakes on the ground. Squirrels raise their tails to signal that a predator has been identified. Elephants stomp on the ground. How Creatures Move The lion walks on padded paws, The squirrel leaps from limb to limb, While flies can crawl straight up a wall, And seals can dive and swim. The worm, he wiggles all around, The monkey swings by his tail, And birds may hop upon the ground, Or spread their wings and sail. By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poetry” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “There is something in animals beside the power of motion. They are not machines; they feel.” -Charles-Louis de Secondat (also known as Baron de La Brède et de Montesquieu or simply Montesquieu (1689 - 1755)) Charlotte: Which animals live in mobile homes? Charlene: Turtles, tortoises, snails, and hermit crabs. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Homes And Families Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Always Be Kind To Animals Always be kind to animals, Morning, noon, and night. For animals have feelings, too, And furthermore, they bite. By John Gardner (1933 - 1982): “A Child’s Bestiary” (1977), ‘Introduction’  A Mouse And A Domestic Cat. “Animals talk to each other; I never knew but one man who could understand them - I knew he could because he told me so himself.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)) “With most folks the dog stands highest as man’s friend, then comes the horse, with others the cat is liked best as a pet, or a monkey is fussed over; but whatever kind of animal it is a person likes, it’s all hunkydory so long as there’s a place in the heart for one or a few of them.” -Will James: “Smoky, the Cow Horse” (1929), ‘Preface,’ page v Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Love” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Danny: What do you get if you cross a cow and a camel? Denny: A lumpy milkshake! Zoophobia is a persistent fear of animals. It is completely understandable. Many animals have sharp teeth, sharp claws, powerful muscles, lightning speed, and strange ways about them. Perhaps even more frightening is that some animals display behaviors that are remarkably human-like, and humans are among the most terrifying of animals. We know this because we have met some of them. “One reason why birds and horses are happy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnegey (1888 - 1955))) Many Causes Have Animal Mascots - Woodsy Owl says, “Give a hoot, don’t pollute.” - McGruff the Crime Dog says, “Take a bite out of crime. Ruff!” - Smokey the Bear says, “Only you can prevent wildfires.” - Can you think of other animal mascots that support causes? “He could tell by the way animals walked that they were keeping time to some kind of music. Maybe it was the song in their own hearts that they walked to.” -Laura Adams Armer: “Waterless Mountain” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Music” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Kindness To Animals Day, sometimes also known as Be Kind To Animals Day, is observed around the world on 4 October each year. Begun in 1915 by the American Humane Society, the day is one of being considerate to the feathered-kind, furred-kind, finned-kind, and other living creatures with whom we share the world. Kindness To Animals Week is similarly observed, in the first week of May each year. Animals And Animal Natures Facts - About nine million different species of life call the Earth home. - We are dependent on animals for our survival as a species. What other facts do you know about animals? Look around, and you will notice many peculiarities about animals: Dogs chase cars, cats get stuck in trees, humans gossip, and spiders cannot find their way out of bathtubs. At Make Fun Of Life! we ourselves are always looking for ridiculous things we might be able to do . . . Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Accidents and Safety” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Here Is The Ostrich Here is the ostrich straight and tall Nodding his head above us all Here is the long snake on the ground Wriggling over the stones he found Here are the birds that fly so high Spreading their wings across the sky Here is the hedgehog prickly and small Rolling himself into a ball Here is the spider scuttling around Treading so lightly on the ground Here are the children fast asleep And here at night the owls do peep By Author Unknown  A Mara And A Young Ostrich. “People are beginning to see that the first requisite to success in life is to be a good animal.” -Herbert Spencer (1820 - 1903) “There are unknown worlds of knowledge in brutes; and whenever you mark a horse, or a dog, with a peculiarly mild, calm, deep-seated eye, be sure he is an Aristotle or a Kant, tranquilly speculating upon the mysteries in man. No philosophers so thoroughly comprehend us as dogs and horses. They see through us at a glance. And after all, what is a horse but a species of four-footed dumb man, in a leathern overall, who happens to live upon oats, and toils for his masters, half-requited or abused, like the biped hewers of wood and drawers of water? But there is a touch of divinity even in brutes, and a special halo about a horse, that should forever exempt him from indignities.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891): “Redburn: His First Voyage” (1849) Sidney: Where do lions and tigers and bears work out? Cindy: At the jungle gym, silly! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Physical Fitness And Exercising Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “Animals can learn, but it is not by learning that they become dogs, cats, or horses. Only man has to learn to become what he is supposed to be.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983) Jered: What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? Jerome: A cockapoodledoo! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Nonsense” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “We need another and a wiser and perhaps a more mystical concept of animals. Remote from universal nature, and living by complicated artifice, man in civilization surveys the creature through the glass of his knowledge and sees thereby a feather magnified and the whole image in distortion. We patronize them for their incompleteness, for their tragic fate of having taken form so far below ourselves. And therein we err, and greatly err. For the animal shall not be measured by man. In a world older and more complete than ours they move finished and complete, gifted with extensions of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear. They are not brethren, they are not underlings; they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendor and travail of the earth.” -Henry Beston (1888 - 1968): “The Outermost House” (1928), chapter 2 Many animals are diurnal, meaning they wake and sleep with the rising and the setting of the sun. Diurnal animals include chipmunks and other squirrels, raptors such as bald eagles, hawks and osprey, turtles, and most species of songbirds and waterfowl. “I believe animals should be respected as citizens of this Earth. They should have the right to their own freedom, their own families, and their own life.” -John Feldmann (John William Feldmann (born 1967)) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Environmentalism and Animal Rights” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “Animals may be our friends, but they won’t pick you up at the airport.” -Bobcat Goldthwait (Robert Francis ‘Bobcat’ Goldthwait (born 1962)) Crepuscular animals are ones that are active primarily during twilight, or both of the two times of day we call dawn and dusk. The word crepuscular is derived from the Latin word ‘crepusculum’ meaning ‘twilight.’ Crepuscular animals are different from diurnal (daylight) and nocturnal (night) active animals. Some animals that are thought of as being nocturnal are actually crepuscular. A snake and a rabbit met. Never having seen a creature of that type before, each studied the other. The snake said, “You have long ears, two funny front teeth, and you go hippety-hop. You must be a rabbit.” The rabbit nodded and said, “You have oily skin, fangs, and a split tongue. You must be either a lawyer or a politician.” The placement of donkeys’ eyes in their heads lets them see all four feet at all times, helping them be very sure-footed animals. “No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.” -Fran Lebowitz (Frances Ann ‘Fran’ Lebowitz (born 1950)): “Social Studies” (1 August 1981), ‘Pointers for Pets’  A Grey Squirrel Holding A Slice Of Pizza. Squirrel with pizza slice . . . don’t eat that junk food, squirrel - it will make you fat and lethargic!
Is it more than coincidence that there are so many ‘sets’ of animals that people easily confuse: turtles and tortoises, dolphins and porpoises, mice and voles, rabbits and hares . . . Can you think of others? “Animals are people too, and they are citizens of planet Earth just as we are. That is not a right given to them by humankind. It is a right they have because they exist as God’s creatures, just as humans exist as God’s creatures.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) Should there be an Animal Olympics? “We need a way of life in which the animal, guided by reason, may romp, but will not bite.” -Abraham Myerson (1881 - 1948) Hurt No Living Thing Hurt no living thing: Ladybug, nor butterfly, Nor moth with dusty wing, Nor cricket chirping cheerily, Nor grasshopper so light of leap. Nor dancing gnat, or beetle flat, Nor harmless worms that creep. By Christina Rossetti (Christina Georgina Rossetti (1830 - 1894)) Ray: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a pig? Trey: A bird that hogs the conversation. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About The Spoken Word And Speaking” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and untroubled joy. So do not trouble it, do not harass them, do not deprive them of their joy, do not go against God’s intent.” -Fyodor Dostoevsky (Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881)) What do animals like to do for fun? Animals of the same species frequently engage in ‘play-fighting,’ in which the animal contestants do not actually harm each other, but otherwise act is if they are fighting. This type of play can help animals practice for real fights with other animals, as well as helping to set up and maintain social hierarchies or social orders within groups of animals. “The best thing about animals is that they don’t talk much.” -Thornton Wilder (Thornton Niven Wilder (1897 - 1975)) Fun fact: A domestic cat can frighten a black bear into climbing a tree. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Fears And Courage Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Animal Names Alligator, beetle, porcupine, whale, Bobolink, panther, dragonfly, snail, Crocodile, monkey, buffalo, hare, Dromedary, leopard, mud turtle, bear, Elephant, badger, pelican, ox, Flying fish, reindeer, anaconda, fox, Guinea pig, dolphin, antelope, goose, Hummingbird, weasel, pickerel, moose, Ibex, rhinoceros, owl, kangaroo, Jackal, opossum, toad, cockatoo, Kingfisher, peacock, anteater, bat, Lizard, ichneumon, honeybee, rat, Mockingbird, camel, grasshopper, mouse, Nightingale, spider, cuttlefish, grouse, Ocelot, pheasant, wolverine, auk, Periwinkle, ermine, katydid, hawk, Quail, hippopotamus, armadillo, moth, Rattlesnake, lion, woodpecker, sloth, Salamander, goldfinch, angleworm, dog, Tiger, flamingo, scorpion, frog, Unicorn, ostrich, nautilus, mole, Viper, gorilla, basilisk, sole, Whippoorwill, beaver, centipede, fawn, Xeme, canary, polliwog, swan, Yellowhammer, eagle, hyena, lark, Zebra, chameleon, butterfly, shark. By Author Unknown Animals that can see behind themselves without turning their heads include rabbits and parrots. Lela: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks? Ella: Fowl weather. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Weather and Climates” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “Lots of people talk to animals . . . Not very many listen, though . . . That’s the problem.” -Benjamin Hoff (born 1946): “The Tao Of Pooh” (1982) at https://www.benjaminhoffauthor.com/ What are scruffs? Scruffs are an area of loose skin at the nape, or back of the neck of some animals, that can be gripped and held while lifting them, and if done carefully, no harm will be done to the animal. Which animals have scruffs in their necks? Animals that have scruffs include rabbits, dogs, and cats. Why do animals have scruffs? Animals have scruffs on their necks to allow their mothers to grab them with their mouths, lift them, and carry them, whether to safety or to home. However, once animals are full grown, they should not be lifted and carried by their scruffs because they are much heavier and doing so can cause physical pain and potential injury to them. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Parenthood and Parenting” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Grace: What do you call a flock of ducks and a cow? Gretta: Quackers and milk! An effective way to deal with predators is to smell bad (skunks) or taste terrible (Monarch butterflies). Other defenses include spikes or quills (porcupines), and scales (pangolins and reptiles). Predators are animals that hunt and eat other animals, as for example, humans are predators. Sarah: A duck, a frog, and a skunk wanted to go to an amusement park. The admission was one dollar. Which one of the three could not afford to go? Hannah: The skunk. Sarah: Why? Hannah: The duck had a bill and the frog had a greenback, but the skunk only had a scent. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Puzzles And Riddles” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “Lest I slight any creature, I must also mention the domestic animals, the beasts and birds from whom I have learned. Job said long ago (35:11): “Who teacheth us more than the beasts of the earth, and maketh us wiser than the fowls of heaven?” Some of what I have learned from them I have written in my books, but I fear that I have not learned as much as I should have, for when I hear a dog bark, or a bird twitter, or a cock crow, I do not know whether they are thanking me for all I have told of them, or calling me to account.” -Shmuel Yosef Agnon: speech at the Nobel Banquet at the City Hall of Stockholm (10 December 1966) at NobelPrize.org Gigglepuss: What you get when you cross a hyena with a cat. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Daffynitions And Definitions Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “Be a good animal, true to your animal instincts.” -D. H. Lawrence (David Herbert Lawrence (1885 - 1930)) We are MFOL! . . . hey, there’s like, a bunch of animals in here, or something . . .  If I Were A Fish
If I could have a single wish, I’d dearly wish to be a fish, Swimming in the deep blue sea. But if I were a fish I think, I’d have no chocolate milk to drink, None of my favorite songs to sing, No playing on a tire swing, I couldn’t hug my family, And I know they would surely miss me! So though a fish’s life sounds cool, I’ll stick to swimming in the pool. By Author Unknown  Chance: How can you tell a dinosaur from spaghetti? Chaucer: A dinosaur will not slip off your fork. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Pastas” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. The word ‘dinosaur’ was coined in 1842 by biologist Richard Owen, who combined the Greek words ‘deinos’ meaning ‘terrible’ and ‘sauros’ meaning ‘lizard.’ Mr. Owen meant ‘terrible lizard’ in reference to the size of the creatures, rather than to any fearsomeness. While dinosaurs are not lizards, both dinosaurs and lizards are members of a larger group of animals known as reptiles, making dinosaurs reptiles. Millie: What do you get if you give a dinosaur a pogo stick to play with? Millicent: Big holes all over your driveway. Grant: I lost my pet dinosaur. Hugh: Have you put an ad in the newspaper? Grant: What good would that do - she can’t read! Some dinosaurs may have had colorful skin, but scientists do not know for sure. It is likely that most dinosaurs had green and brown scales to help them hide among trees and plants. Some of the dinosaurs living 66 million years ago had feathers, but were flightless. Rusty: What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels? Russell: A stegosaurus on roller-skates. Winston: Why are tall dinosaurs good at forecasting the weather? Winifred: Because they are the first to know when it rains. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Weather and Climates” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Dinosaurs Facts - An adult male dinosaur is called a bull. - An adult female dinosaur is called a cow. - Young dinosaurs are called juveniles. - A group of plant-eating dinosaurs is called a herd. - A group of meat-eating dinosaurs is called a pack. - Dinosaurs lived on all of the continents, including Antarctica. - Dinosaurs lived to be about 75 to 300 years of age. Chuck: Why could the long-necked dinosaur not see where it was going? Charles: Because it had its head in the clouds. Teri: When does a big fearsome dinosaur look like a cute little clown? Theresa: When it wears a cute little clown suit. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Clowns And Clowning” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Buddy: How do you run over a dinosaur? Holly: Climb up its foreleg, dash along its back, and slide down its tail. Some dinosaurs had tails that were more than 45 feet long. Long tails helped them to keep their balance while running. Tammy: How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch? Sammy: Say, “Tea, Rex?” Dinosaurs often swallowed large rocks. These rocks stayed in their stomachs and helped them grind up food. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Mealtimes and Eating” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Molly: How do dinosaurs pay their bills? Polly: With Tyrannosaurus checks. Trudy: Do you know what the difference is between a piece of candy and a dinosaur bone? Rudy: No. Trudy: Good, then enjoy this dinosaur bone. When some humans first found dinosaur bones, they guessed that the bones must be from dragons or giants, which is how the myths, or fanciful stories, associated with these two types of imaginary creatures began. Additionally, hoaxers and practical jokers would put together the bones from different animals and humans to make fantastical creatures that never existed. So, to create a giant, they would take the very long leg bones from a dinosaur and put them in place of the regular-length leg bones in a human skeleton, and add in some bones from other animals. Next, they would make up a story to go along with it, perhaps about an entire race of giants living in a faraway land across the sea, in some remote mountains, forests, or swamps. Then they would put up a sign offering to allow people to see the ‘giant skeleton’ and regale them with made-up stories about it, for a modest sum of money. The more bones they could dig up from different animals, the better, because they could put them together in all sorts of ways to create all kinds of creatures that do not exist in nature, as for example, flying monkeys or mermaids. However, unlike pretend, mythical, or hoax animals, dinosaurs were once real, living creatures. Rachael: How long should a dinosaur’s legs be? Michael: Long enough to reach the ground. George: What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a skunk? Martha: The biggest stinker you ever saw. Just as birds and reptiles do now, dinosaurs laid eggs from which baby dinosaurs hatched. Some dinosaurs built nests for their eggs and even fed and protected their babies when they hatched. The largest dinosaur eggs were as large as basketballs. However, the bigger the egg, the thicker the shell, so that if the eggs had been any larger, dinosaur babies possibly would not have been able to break out of the shells. Priscilla: What kind of materials do dinosaurs put on the floors of their houses? Della: Rep tiles. Megan: How can you tell if a dinosaur is an herbivore or a carnivore? Melvin: Lie down on a plate. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Differences And Individuality Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Most meat-eating dinosaurs had bones filled with air. Though their bones were huge, they were not as heavy as they looked. Birds have the same kind of hollow bones. Matthew: What would you get if you crossed a hungry dinosaur and a herd of 100 cattle? Matilda: A dinosaur that is no longer hungry. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Cattle Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Buster: What do you call a dinosaur hitchhiker? Mack: A ten-and-a-half-ton pickup. While dinosaurs are often thought of as having been huge beasts, many dinosaurs were smaller than modern humans, and some were just slightly larger than domestic chickens. Scientists believe that larger dinosaurs, with their larger bones, were more likely to be preserved as fossils, while smaller dinosaurs, with their smaller bones, were more likely to be destroyed through natural processes, such as being washed away by rain, broken up and dissolved into the surrounding soil, or carried away and broken into pieces by animals that like to chew on bones.  Andrew: Why could the dinosaur not cross the road? Andy: Because there were no roads back then. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Road Crossings” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Vera: Name the three time periods of the dinosaurs. Ollie: Triassic, Jurassic, and Cretaceous. Dinosaurs lived during a period of Earth’s history called the Mesozoic Era, meaning ‘middle life’ and also referred to as the ‘Age of the Dinosaurs,’ which stretched from the Triassic period 230 million years ago, through the Jurassic period, and up until the end of the Cretaceous period about 66 million years ago, when a mass extinction occurred. Dinosaurs existed for about 165 million years. By comparison, humans have been around for only 2 million years, and modern humans just 130,000 years. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Animals And Animal Natures Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Overheard: When I grow up, I want to be a dinosaur! “Imagine, if you will, a world filled with billions of dinosaurs. A world where they can be found in thousands of shapes, sizes, colours, and classes in every habitable pocket of the planet. Imagine them from the desert dunes of the Sahara to the frozen rim of the Antarctic Circle - and from the balmy islands of the South Pacific to the high flanks of the Himalayas. The thing is, you don’t have to imagine very hard. In fact, wherever you live, you can probably step outside and look up into the trees and skies to find them. For the dinosaurs are the birds and they are all around you. Dinosaurs didn’t die out when an asteroid hit the earth 66 million years ago. Everything you were told as a child was wrong.” -John Pickrell: “Flying Dinosaurs: How Fearsome Reptiles Became Birds” (2014), page xv Bob: How did you break your foot? Fred: Did you see the Stegosaurus walk past? Bob: Yes. Fred: Well . . . I did not! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Accidents and Safety” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. The largest dinosaurs, such as the Brachiosaurus and Apatosaurus and Triceratops, were herbivores, or animals that eat plants. Plant-eating dinosaurs had eyes looking out to each side of their heads, so they could watch for danger while they ate. To help them fight off carnivores including the Allosaurus and the Spinosaurus and the Tyrannosaurus Rex, many herbivores had natural defenses, such as the spikes on the tail of the Stegosaurus and the three horns attached to the front of the Triceratops’s bony-plate head shield. Dinah: What kind of dinosaur lives in your cell phone? Dino: A tyrannosaurus text. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Telephones” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Herbivorous dinosaurs tended to have blunt, meaning not sharp, hooves or toenails. Most plant eaters walked on four feet to carry their heavy bodies better. Some plant eaters could balance on their two back feet for a short time, enabling them to reach the tender shoots of the new growth at the tops of tall plants. Angie: Which dinosaur had the biggest vocabulary? Angelica: Was it the thesaurus? Meat-eating, or carnivorous, dinosaurs are known as theropods, which means ‘beast-footed,’ because they had sharp, hooked claws on their toes. Most meat eaters walked on two feet. This made them faster and left their ‘hands’ free to grab their prey. Chester: Why did carnivorous dinosaurs eat raw meat and herbivorous dinosaurs eat raw plants? Lester: Because they did not know how to cook. Barry: What do you call an anxious dinosaur? Merry: A nervous rex. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Stress and Anxiety” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Dinosaurs Long, long ago, When the earth was new, Dinosaurs walked, And swam, and flew. Allosaurus, Triceratops, Apatasaurus, too. Iguanodon, Tyrannosaurus, To name a few. Long, long ago, When the earth was new, Huge dinosaurs lived, And small ones too. By Author Unknown Leonard: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with a lemon? Lenny: A dino-sour. (If your answer was a sour-saurus, that would also be correct). Tyrannosaurus Rexes (Kings of the Dinosaurs) lived about sixty-six million years ago in what is now western North America. T-Rexes were the largest carnivores (meat-eaters) in their habitat, often measuring 13 meters (43 feet) in length and 4 meters (13 feet) in height. The biggest Rex tooth found is about 30 centimeters (12 inches) long. Yet Tyrannosaurus Rexes had more than 98 percent of their DNA in common with modern barnyard chickens, so even with their reputation for being fierce predators, they were really just big chickens. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Chickens Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “I miss the dinosaurs.” -Solomon Short  Ellen: What do you have when dinosaurs crash their cars? Allen: Tyrannosaurus wrecks. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Vehicles And Driving Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Chet: What do you call one hundred dancing dinosaurs? Chip: An earthquake? Merry: Where do dinosaurs put bandages? Mary: On their Dino-sores. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Doctors And Health Practitioners” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Plant-eating dinosaurs often lived together for protection, as herding animals today do. The herds ranged from just a few adults and their young to thousands of animals. Christopher: What is in the middle of a herd of dinosaurs? Christine: The letter ‘s.’ Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The Alphabet And Letters Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Cal: What do you get if you tell a joke about a 26-ton dinosaur? Kel: Big laughs? Cal: Right! What do you get if you tell a joke about a 78-ton dinosaur? Kel: Bigger laughs? Cal: Right! And what do you get if you tell a joke about a 248-ton dinosaur? Kel: Even bigger laughs? Cal: Nope! They don’t come in that size. Tim: Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Mat: Because they would not take baths! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Personal Hygiene And Cleanliness” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Evidence suggests that a massive meteorite (space rock) hit the Yucatan Peninsula in present-day Mexico 66 million years ago. The resulting crater was 180 kilometers (112 miles) wide and was caused by an object 9.7 kilometers (6 miles) in diameter. It would have hit Earth’s crust with immense force, sending shockwaves around the world. Large amounts of debris would have been sent flying up into the air, which would have blocked out sunlight and significantly changed the Earth’s temperature and atmosphere. Earth tremors caused by the impact would have displaced large amount of water, causing widespread flooding. All large land animals that were out in the open would have died, including dinosaurs on land and large sea creatures swimming just beneath the water’s surface. Only small animals that could take shelter in burrows in the ground, caves, rock crevices, and deep underwater, would have lived. Some birds, crocodiles, fishes, insects, lizards, snakes, spiders, and turtles would have survived. They would have been witness to perhaps the most horrific event in the history of life on Earth. Great Big Dinosaurs Great big dinosaurs Lived long ago. They roamed the Earth in search of food, But now they’re gone, you know. Great big dinosaurs, Some could even fly. But there are no dinosaurs, I often wonder why. By Angela Wolfe Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poetry” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Jonas: What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? Jonathan: Tyrannosaurus Tex. Victoria: Why was the dinosaur afraid to go back to the library? Vicky: Her books were sixty million years overdue. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Reading And Books Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Brontosaurus The giant brontosaurus Was a prehistoric chap With four fat feet to stand on And a very skimpy lap. The scientists assure us Of a most amazing thing - A brontosaurus blossomed When he had a chance to sing! (The bigger brontosauruses, Who like to sing in choruses, Would close their eyes and harmonize And sing most anything.) The growled and they yowled, They deedled and they dummed; They warbled and they whistled, They howled and they hummed. They didn’t eat, they didn’t sleep; They sang and sang all day. Now all you’ll find are footprints Where they tapped the time away! By Gail Kredenser (Gail Kredenser Mack) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Music” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Eric: If three dinosaurs are a crowd, what are four and five?
Erica: Nine. Rick: What do you say when you want your dinosaur to move faster? Richard: “Pronto, saurus!” Can humans outrun dinosaurs? Humans have a top average speed over short distances of just slightly more than 32 kilometers (20 miles) an hour. The fastest dinosaur, the Ornithomimus, is estimated to have been able to run up to 64 kilometers (40 miles) an hour. However, the big cats called cheetahs are the fasted known animals ever to exist on Earth, capable of accelerating from 0 to 70 kilometers (0 to 43.5 miles) an hour in 3 seconds. If you ever see a human professional athlete, an average dinosaur, and a typical cheetah on a racetrack running a race, both the dinosaur and the cheetah might look back at the human and holler, “Try to keep up, slow-poke!” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Competitions And Competing” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Jake: What do you call a tyrannosaurus that talks and talks and talks? Jacob: A dino-bore! Despite being long extinct, dinosaurs are frequently featured in entertainment. One example of this is Michael Crichton’s 1990 book “Jurassic Park.” Made into a movie in 1993, the story features cloned dinosaurs brought to life with the help of DNA (genetic material) found in mosquitoes that had been trapped in amber. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Theater And Thespians” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Jessie: Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Jessica: Tricera-cops! Patrick: What did the Tyrannosaurus Rex do after lifting weights at the gym? Patricia: I am sure it rested because it was probably very dino-sore! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Physical Fitness And Exercising Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. In 1868, English scientist Thomas Huxley proposed that dinosaurs and birds are related. Many scientists believe that dinosaurs are extinct, meaning that no living dinosaurs exist today. However, some scientists believe that birds are descended from theropod dinosaurs, and therefore, dinosaurs are not really extinct. As an unknown author said, “Dinosaurs aren’t extinct. They’ve just learned to hide in the trees.” Just maybe . . . birds could be dinosaurs? Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Birds Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “The dinosaurs are not extinct. The colorful and successful diversity of the living birds is a continuing expression of basic dinosaur biology.” -Robert T. Bakker: ‘Dinosaur Renaissance’ published in ”Scientific American” (April 1975), pages 58 - 78 Harrold: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Harry: A Try-try-try-ceratops! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Quitting and Trying” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Herman: What makes more noise than a dinosaur? Sherman: Ten dinosaurs! We are MFOL! . . . thud, thud, thud, thud . . . do you hear those huge dinosaurs coming this way? They will be expecting us to tell them some jokes - like the ones coming up next . . .  An Explanation Of The Grasshopper
The Grasshopper, the Grasshopper, I will explain to you - He is the Brownies’ racehorse, The Fairies’ Kangaroo. By Vachel Lindsay Nicholas Vachel Lindsay was born on 10 November 1879 in Springfield, Illinois, United States of America. He became a poet. Nicholas Vachel Lindsay passed on at 52 years of age on 5 December 1931 in Springfield, Illinois, United States of America.  Kevin: What has three wings, three eyes, and two beaks? Marvin: A bird with spare parts. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Puzzles And Riddles” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Bird Watcher 1: What kind of bird is that? Bird Watcher 2: A gulp. Bird Watcher 1: A gulp? Never heard of that bird before. Bird Watcher 2: Yes, it’s like a swallow, only bigger. Albatrosses can sleep while flying. They apparently doze while cruising through the air at 40 kilometers (25 miles) per hour. Why sleep-walk when you can sleep-fly? Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Sleep And Sleeping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Thirty Dirty Purple Birds Corner Third and Thirty-Third, Thirty dirty purple birds Sittin’ on the curb Eatin’ worms And chirpin’ an’ slurpin’. Along came Myrtle And her girlfriend Gertie. Boy, were they perturbed. By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poetry” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Commonly, male birds are more colorful than female birds. The females are less bright in color to help camouflage them, or make them less visible to other animals, when they are caring for chicks, or baby birds, although in some species of birds, male birds care for their young birds with or without a female bird. Clifford: What has eight wheels and flies? Buford: A bird on roller skates. Chickens, pigeons, cranes, quails, and ducks bob their head when they walk. Wildlife biologists believe they do this because head-bobbing helps them with balance, provides them with depth perception, and sharpens their vision. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Walking And Ambulating” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers . . .” -S. Wright Sparrow: Try to be nice. Jay: Owl try! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Manners And Etiquette” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Birds have different types of feathers for different uses. Flight feathers grow in the wings and the tail. Soft down feathers grow close to the skin to keep birds from getting too cold or too hot. “Some birds are poets and sing all summer.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862): “Journals” (1838 - 1859), ‘5 July 1852’ Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Henry David Thoreau Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Abby: If a seagull flies over the sea, what flies over the bay? Gail: A bagel. The way in which birds move varies. Most birds can fly, some can walk, some can hop, some can run very well, and some can swim. Many birds do combinations of these types of movement. While some birds do not fly, the wings of lightweight flying birds are shaped to provide lift, allowing them to fly. Birds that can fly are capable hunters, can escape from predators, and can move away from harsh seasonal weather through annual migrations. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Anatomy And Physiology” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands once carried the identification of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated as ‘Wash. Biol. Surv.’ The agency received the following letter from a hunter: “Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible.” The bands have since been changed and are now marked ‘Fish and Wildlife Service.’ “Fine feathers make fine birds.” -Author Unknown: English proverb Are birds given to ‘flights of fancy’? Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Questions And Queries Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Bert: What kind of birds flock together? Curt: Velcrows. How sadly the bird in his cage Watches the butterflies. -Issa: haiku Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Haikus” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Len: What do you call a bird in the wintertime? Lin: A brrrd! Parnell: What do you call two birds in love? Marcella: Tweethearts! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Love” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “Birds, like mammals, have personality as well as individuality, which is to say that a bird has a mind of its own as well as “personal” physical structures, vocalizations and differences that set it aside from all other birds of the same species, including the size and the color and the tones of its feathers. In fact, no matter of what species, whether it is a great horned owl or a hummingbird, every bird differs from its neighbor in looks and in personality. And let there be no mistake: birds have individual personalities.” -R. D. Lawrence: “Owls: The Silent Fliers” (2001) The Stork Here’s to the stork, A most valuable bird, That inhabits the residence districts - He doesn’t sing tunes, Nor yield any plumes, But he helps out the vital statistics. By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Babies and Infants” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Hope: What class did Tweety Bird ace in school? Faith: Twigonometry.  Most birds eat about twice their body weight each day, but because birds are lightweight animals, the total amount of food is small. Flying birds must be lightweight and yet have powerful flight muscles to be able to fly. Their bones and feather shafts are hollow to help keep their weight as low as possible. “There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before.” -Robert Lynd (Robert Wilson Lynd (1879 - 1949)): “The Blue Lion and Other Essays” (1923) What do birds eat? The diets of birds varies with species, habitat, and season. Most birds are insectivores, or animals that eat insects. Owls and eagles are carnivores, or animals that eat meat. Some birds, like hummingbirds, grouse, and Canada geese, are mostly herbivores, or animals that eat plants. Other birds, like starlings, are omnivores, or animals that eat both plants and meat. A few birds such as toucans are fructivores, or animals that eat fruit. Birds spend most of their time looking for food. Keen eyesight and quick movements helps birds find and catch food. Their agile beaks and claws help them gather bugs, worms, small mammals, fish, fruit, grain, or nectar. “Like a bird singing in the rain, let grateful memories survive in time of sorrow.” -Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of this article, or click or tap on these words to visit the In Memory Page. Wendell: Why did the sea bird hang out at the jewelry store? Wendy: Because diamonds are a gull’s best friend. Birds Facts - An adult male bird is called a cock. - An adult female bird is called a hen. - A young bird is called a chick. - The plural of bird is birds. - A group of birds is called a flock. - Birds have wings and feathers that enable them to fly. - The sounds made by birds are called chirping, chirruping, crying, singing, tweeting, twittering, and whistling. - Birds sing to mark their territories against encroachment by other birds. - Birds lay eggs from which chicks hatch. - A person who studies birds is called an ornithologist “The early bird gets the worm, and the night owl dines on mice; each to his or her own best way.” -Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Differences And Individuality Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Welcome, welcome, little stranger, Fear no harm, and fear no danger; We are glad to see you here, For you sing “Sweet Spring is near.” -Louisa May Alcott (1832 - 1888): “To The First Robin” (1840) Hubert: Why did the crows sit on a telephone wire? Humphrey: They wanted to make a long-distance caw. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Telephones” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Ornithophobia is a persistent fear of birds. People with ornithophobia may experience anxiety about encountering or being attacked by birds. Ornithophobia is derived from the Greek words ‘ornithos’ meaning ‘bird’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’ Like most fears, it is learned or conditioned into its sufferers, and therefore, can be learned or conditioned right back out of them. A good way to start would be by learning a little about birdkind. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Fears And Courage Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Any Bird I haven’t a palace, I haven’t a throne, There isn’t a thing In the world I own. I bathe in the bird-bath, I perch on the trees; I come and I go Whenever I please. But everyone’s garden Is open and free, There’s always a crumb Or a worm there for me. I fly where I will, By woodland or sea; The whole world is mine; I’m as rich as can be. By Ilo Orleans (1897 - 1962) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poverty and Prosperity” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “Feathered friends flock together in all kinds of weather because there is strength in numbers and other benefits to friendship.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Friendships And Friends Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. A man went into a pet shop and said, “Do you have any birds?” The shop keeper replied, “Yes, we have three birds: a square bird, a circle bird, and a triangle bird.” “I think I’ll take the square bird,” said the man. “Okay,” said the shop keeper, “here’s your bird, but keep it away from other shapes.” So the man took the bird to his square home in his square car. Then he found the bird a square cage and put it in a square room with square objects in it. Soon the bird learned to talk, so the man had a party in the bird’s honor. When everyone was quiet the bird gave a little talk, and then everyone gave it a ‘round’ of applause - and the ‘square’ bird just about fainted! The hummingbird, the loon, the swift, the kingfisher, and the grebe are birds that, sadly, cannot walk. But if you yourself have fully functioning legs, you can walk, and therefore, you should walk . . . and these birds . . . will continue to fly . . . with wings . . . that you and I, sadly, do not have. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Animals And Animal Natures Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “And from Humming-Bird to Eagle, the daily existence of every bird is a remote and bewitching mystery.” -Thomas Wentworth Higginson: “Out-door Papers” (1868), ‘The Life of Birds’ Heath: Why was the cockatoo first in line at the beauty parlor? Heather: Because the early bird gets the perm. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Barbers and Hairstylists” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Not all flying animals are birds, and not all birds can fly. The ability to fly has developed independently in animals many times throughout the history of the Earth. Bats are flying mammals, pterosaurs are flying reptiles from around the time of the dinosaurs, and flying insects can also take to the air, but none of these creatures are birds. Flightless birds include kiwis, ostriches, and penguins. “God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.” -Jacques Deval: ”Afin de vivre bel et bien” (English: “To Live Well and Truly”) (1969) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Environmentalism and Animal Rights” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.  Tips For Becoming A Backyard Birder Decide what types of birds you want to attract before building a feeding station, birdhouse, birdbath, and so forth. Different species of birds eat different seeds. If you want to attract just one type of bird, find out what type of seeds and other foods it eats. If you want different species of birds to visit, use a mixture of seeds and other foods. If you put out food, water, and shelter for birds, be aware that other animals and insects may also be attracted to those same things, so if you want only the birds, you must take steps to keep out the other creatures. For example, you can install squirrel guards (wrap-around cones made from sheet metal or plastic) to discourage squirrels from climbing the pole on which a feeder is mounted. In the winter, birds need suet, a kind of fat, in their diet, which their bodies burn to keep them warm in the freezing cold. Once you start feeding and watering wild birds, you are obligated to continue feeding and watering them through the entire season, including up until they have raised their young and their young have flown out of the nests to live on their own. Bobby: What do you give to birds when they are ill?
Robby: A tweetment. “A little bird told me.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Henry IV” (1597 - 1598), Part 2, closing lines Marlene: Why do birds fly? Marlo: It’s faster than walking. “Wise birds build their nests sturdy enough to withstand the many and varied storms of life.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) What are birds? Birds are theropods, or dinosaurs that mostly move on two feet, making them faster when chasing prey animals. ‘Theropod’ means ‘beast-footed,’ a name given to them because of the sharp hooked claws on their toes. Birds evolved from earlier meat-eating theropod dinosaurs that lived during the Mesozoic Era, roughly 150 million years ago. Early birds, such as Archaeopteryx, had teeth in their mouths and claws on their wings. Presently living theropod dinosaurs, or birds, have feathers, toothless beaks, and forelimbs, or front legs, adapted to wing form. Dinosaurs, at least those of the theropod variety, did not become extinct. They are alive and thriving by the billions, though now more commonly known as birds. The Earth still remains a dinosaur planet. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Dinosaurs Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “A chipper chickadee chirping cheerily chanced to perch upon Chris Kringle’s Christmas tree.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) “It is the beautiful bird which gets caged.” -Author Unknown: proverb Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Appearances And Looks” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Condor Said the condor, in tones of despair: “Not even the atmosphere’s rare. Since man took to flying, It’s really too trying, The people one meets in the air.” By Oliver Herford (Oliver Brooke Herford (1860 -1935)) “Why do birds sing in the morning? It’s the triumphant shout: ‘We got through another night!’” -Enid Bagnold Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Adversities And Persevering” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Be like the bird in flight - Pausing awhile on boughs too slight, Feels them give way beneath her; yet sings Knowing yet; that she has wings. -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885)) “A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not on the branch but on its own wings.” -Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Faith and Belief” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “My heart is like a singing bird.” -Christina Rossetti (Christina Georgina Rossetti (1830 - 1894)): “A Birthday” (1861) Three Little Birds There were three little birds in a wood, Who always sang hymns when they could. What the words were about They could never make out, But they felt they were doing some good. By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Limericks Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Some bird species are intelligent enough to create and use tools. “God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest.” -J. G. Holland (Josiah Gilbert Holland (1819 - 1881)) Mark: What goes, “Fweet, fweet, fweet!”? Clark: A bird with a mouth full of crackers. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Mealtimes and Eating” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Birds of a Feather Flock together. -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs, Wise Sentences, and Witty Sayings” (1732), number 6295 “Birds of a feather flock together because we can get to where we are going with greater safely, speed, and certainty when we are in the company of others with the same aims in life.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Goals And Planning” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “If you are going to soar with the eagles in the morning, you can’t hoot with the owls all night.” -Author unknown, as quoted in William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994)), compiler: “Rewarding Moments: A Treasury of Prose and Poetry” (1989) Time To Rise A birdie with a yellow bill Hopped upon my window sill, Cocked his shining eye and said: “Ain’t you ’shamed, you sleepy-head!” By Robert Louis Stevenson (Robert Louis Balfour Stevenson (1850 - 1894)) Rhoda: Why do birds sometimes stand on one leg? Ronda: Because if they stood on no legs, they would fall over. “When the bird and the book disagree, always believe the bird.” -John James Audubon (1785 - 1851), commenting on field guides Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Reading And Books Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “Two sparrows on the same ear of corn are not long friends.” -Author Unknown Serves Him Right There was an old man on a hill Who said to the birds, “Oh, be still!” One bird, just for that, Built a nest in his hat And pecked both his ears with its bill. By John Ciardi (John Anthony Ciardi (1916 - 1986)) To learn more about birds, visit the Audubon Society at www.audobon.org. Marilyn: Where do birds go on Halloween? Clara: They go trick or tweeting! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Halloween Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “I feel like a tiny bird with a big song!” -Jerry Van Amerongen We are MFOL! . . . may the bluebird of happiness be always perched upon your windowsill with a bright, bubbly song just for you . . .  Ladybug
The ladybug’s a beetle, It’s shaped like a pea. Its color is a bright red, With lots of spots to see. Although the name is “ladybug,” Some ladybugs are “men.” So why don’t we say “gentleman bug,” Every now and then? By Author Unknown  Gabe: What has four legs and goes, “Oom, oom”? Abe: A cow walking backwards. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Walking And Ambulating” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Cattle Facts - Adult male cattle are called bulls. - The sound made by bulls is called bellowing. - Adult female cattle are called cows. - The sound made by cows is called mooing. - Young cattle are called calves. - The sound made by calves is called bleating. - A group of cattle is called a herd. - Cattle are herbivores, or animals that eat plants. - Cattle can live for up to 25 years. - Cattle live on every continent except Antarctica. Question: What do cows read in the morning? Answer: The moos-paper. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Reading and Books” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Scott: What newspaper do cows read? Todd: The Daily Moos. Question: What do you get when you cross a rooster and a cow? Answer: Cockadoodlemoo. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Chickens” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Alvin: Why did the cow pack her bags? Albert: I don’t know - why? Alvin: Because she was moo-ving! Cattle were domesticated, or tamed from wild animals, thousands of years ago. Some wild cattle, such as the gaur and banteng, can still be found in Asia. Mabelle: What do you say to a cow that crosses the road in front of your car? Ellie: Moo-ve over. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Road Crossings” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. A man’s car stalled on a country road. When he got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him. “Your trouble is probably in the carburetor,” said the cow. Startled, the man jumped back in fright, and ran down the road until he met a farmer. He told the farmer his story. “Was it a large red cow with a white spot over the right eye?” asked the farmer. “Yes, yes!” the man replied. “Oh. I wouldn’t listen to Bessie,” said the farmer. “She doesn’t know anything about cars.” Cattle trained to be draft animals, or work animals, are called oxen. They possess incredible all-day brute strength, beyond even what most horses and mules have. They have been used in times past for pulling wagonloads of heavy building materials over rough, uneven land. They were also used to pull plows in newly cleared still-rocky farm fields. They walked in circles attached to wheels for such purposes as grinding grain into flour and for powering machines where watermills and waterwheels were not available. Yoked together in pairs for such work, they are called oxen teams. Although still occasionally seen doing such work in undeveloped parts of the world, these beasts of burden have been largely replaced by internal combustions engine and electric motors. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About History” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. A Basket of Cow There once was a girl who said, “How Shall I manage to carry my cow? Every time that I ask it To get in my basket, It makes such a terrible row.” By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Nonsense” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Question: What do you call a cow in your yard? Answer: A lawn-moower. Lucy: What do you get when you have a cow and a duck? Lucinda: Milk and quackers. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Ducks Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “‘Moo’ may represent an idea, but only the cow knows.” -Mason Cooley: “City Aphorisms” (1927 - 2002) How now, brown cow? Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Questions And Queries Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Cattle have stocky bodies, thick skin, hoofed feet, and long tails. They typically weigh between 180 and 720 kilograms (400 and 1,600 pounds). Some cattle have horns, and some cattle do not. They vary in color from white, to black, to brown, to tan, with many cattle having more than one color on each animal. Cattle use their long tails to flick insects off their backs. Judy: What do you call a grumpy cow? Trudy: Moo-dy. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Emotions and Feelings” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Beverly: Why do cows wear bells? Arlene: Because their horns aren’t loud enough! Cattle can run at speeds of 56 kilometers (35 miles) per hour. In deep mud, cattle can run faster than horses. Bulls can run faster uphill than downhill, and cows will climb up stairs but not down stairs. Are you thinking what we are thinking? Yes, we can indeed make a ‘cattle trap’ using the information in this paragraph. Let us make a quick drawing on paper of our invention and get over to the patent office right away before anyone else thinks of this! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Animals and Animal Natures” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. A city girl visiting her uncle and aunt on their farm was watching a cow chewing its cud. “Pretty fine cow, that,” said her uncle as he passed by. “Yes,” said the girl, “but doesn’t it cost a lot of money to keep it in chewing gum?” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Chewing Gum And Bubble Gum” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Cattle are herbivores, or animals that eat plants. Grazing is the word used to describe cattle eating grass or other plants in a field. Because the grass, hay, corn, and other plant material cattle eat requires a lot of work to be digested, cattle stomachs have four parts, or compartments, called the rumen, the reticulum, the omasum, and the abomasum. Animals that have this type of multi-compartment stomach are called ruminants. Cattle swallow their food without chewing it very much, and then later chew their food, or cud, again, to break it down into digestible bits. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Mealtimes and Eating” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Amos: What did the cow say when she had nothing to eat but thistle? Moses: “Thistle have to do.”  Chocolate Milk Cow There once was a spotted brown cow Who lives in the pasture now; She makes chocolate milk, As smooth as silk, And I don’t know exactly how. By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Limericks” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Neville: What do you get when you cross a cow and a goat? Steven: A coat! Per head, cattle eat about 23 kilograms (50 pounds) of food a day, and drink about 132 liters (35 gallons) of water. ‘Per head’ is how farmers and ranchers often refer to each individual animal. So, if you have 1,000 head of cattle, it means you have 1,000 animals. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Numbers and Counting” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Howie: What do you call a cow with four legs? Ward: A cow. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Puzzles And Riddles” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Cattle sleep standing up. (Warning for humans - do not attempt!) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Sleep And Sleeping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Bert: Why did the farmer give his cow a pogo stick? Bart: He wanted a milkshake. Bulls are red-green colorblind (they fail to see those colors), and in bull fighting exhibitions, they will charge at the waving cape of a matador (bullfighter) no matter what color the cape is - be it red or neon yellow. Bulls become agitated, or are angered, by the movement of the cape. Millicent: What game did they play at the cow’s birthday party? Millie: Moo-sical chairs. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Birthdays” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Aaron: What does a farmer say to cows at night? Isaac: “It’s pasture bedtime.” “Researchers have found that cows with names give more milk than cows without names. Isn’t that right, Daisy?” “Moo-oo-oo!” June: What do you call a cow with a crown? April: Dairy Queen. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Restaurants and Eateries” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Cattle have an excellent sense of smell. They can smell odors up to 8 kilometers (5 miles) away. Likewise, some people claim to be able to smell cattle up to 8 kilometers (5 miles) away. That last sentence was a joke. Rob: Where do cows stay when vacationing? Bert: In moo-tels. Cattle are social animals and interact with other cattle. Humans likewise - though mostly with other humans. Cattle moo as a way to communicate. Humans moo as a way to have fun. Cows can have regional accents. Humans have regional accents. This just keeps getting more and more interesting. Two cows were in a field. The first cow said, “Moo!” and the second cow said, “Baaa.” The first cow asked the second cow, “Why did you say baaa?” The second cow said, “I’m learning a foreign language.” A man was driving along a country road when the idea struck him to stop and pick some flowers. He had barely begun when he saw a mean looking bull not far away. The young man called out to the farmer in the next field, “Hey, mister! Is that bull safe?” To which the farmer shouted back, “Sure, safe as anything! Can’t say the same about you, though.” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Accidents and Safety” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. There was an old man who said, “How Shall I flee from that horrible cow? I will sit on this stile, And continue to smile, Which may soften the heart of that cow.” -Edward Lear Jennie: What has four wheels, gives milk, and eats grass? Jeanine: A cow on a skateboard. Jeffry: What do you call a lazy cow? Geoffrey: Meat loaf. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Idleness and Industriousness” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Cattle provide people with beef, gelatin, glue, soap, and leather. Many dairy products, including cream, butter, ice cream, cheese, milkshakes, and yogurt are made from cows’ milk. “Look at those cows and remember that the greatest scientists in the world have never discovered how to make grass into milk.” -Michael Pupin  A herd of cows and two bulls were eating grass in a pasture. Suddenly, a great gust of wind came ripping across the prairie and knocked all the cows to the ground. But the bulls just swayed in the wind and continued eating. When the wind quieted down, the cows stood up, brushed themselves off, and started eating again. A bit later, one cow looked up just in time to see a tornado tearing through the pasture. The tornado knocked the cows every which way, but the bulls just rocked back and forth. When the cows got back on their feet and picked the straw out of their hides, they walked over to the bulls. One cow said, “Why do we cows get knocked over by the wind but you bulls continue standing?” The two bulls laughed and replied, “Because we bulls wobble, but we don’t fall down.” The Cow The cow is of the bovine ilk; One end is moo, the other, milk. By Ogden Nash (Frederick Ogden ‘Ogden’ Nash (1902 - 1971)): “Free Wheeling” (1931) One cow produces about 23 liters (about 6 gallons) of milk in a day. Jess: What do you call someone who works in a dairy? Josh: A cow. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Employment and Work” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Melissa: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow? Lisa: Milk of amnesia. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Memory and Memories” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. James: How can you delay milk from becoming sour? Robert: Keep it in the cow. Many of the more than one billion cattle in the world live on dairy farms and cattle ranches. Moo! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Fun Facts and Trivia” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Mick: What has a horn and gives milk? Mack: A milk truck. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Vehicles And Driving Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Ode to a Cow When life seems one too many for you, Go and look at a cow. When the future’s black and the outlook blue, Go and look at a cow. For she does nothing but eat her food. And sleep in the meadows entirely bare, Refusing to fret or worry or scare - Because she doesn’t know how. Whenever you’re feeling bothered and sore, Go and look at a cow. When everything else is a fearful bore, Go and look at a cow. Observe her gentle and placid air, Her nonchalance and savoir faire. Her absolute freedom from every care, Her imperturbable brow. So when you’re at the end of your wits, Go and look at a cow. Or when your nerves are frayed to bits, And wrinkles furrow your brow; She’ll merely moo in her gentle way, Switching her rudder as if to say: “Bother tomorrow, let’s live today!” Take the advice of a cow. By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Wisdom And Advice” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Domestic cattle came to North America with the pilgrims, arriving at the colony of Jamestown in 1611.
Charlene: What kind of cattle giggle? Charles: Laughingstock! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Laughter And Laughing” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Shelly: Why do cows go to New York? Sally: To see the moo-sicals! “I guess cows aren’t into the four food groups, especially when they are two of them.” -Anthony Clark Peggy: What do you get from pampered cows? Sue: Spoiled milk. Moo, Moo, Brown Cow Moo, moo, brown cow, have you milk for me? Yes sir, yes sir, tasty as can be, Churn it into butter or make it into cheese, Freeze it into ice cream or drink it if you please. By Author Unknown Betty: Where do baby cows eat? Beatrice: In the calf-eteria. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Babies and Infants” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Bonnie: What do cows put on their pancakes? Lassie: Lots of moo-ple syrup! Arlene: Where do people buy cows? Darlene: From cattlelogs. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Shopping” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Question: Where do milkshakes come from? Answer: Nervous cows. Buddy: Where did the cow and the bull go on their date? Holly: To the moo-vies, of course! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Dating and Courting” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Old Man from Crewe There was an old man from Crewe Who wanted to know how to moo. He studied a cow To try and learn how, But all he could do was boo. By Author Unknown Will: What is a cow’s favorite place? Bill: The moo-seum. Cows are moo-sically inclined, as they tend to produce more milk when they listen to music. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Music” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Warren: What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument? Laura: A moosician. Jimmy: How does a cow do math? Timmy: With a cow-culator. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go, who? No, silly, cows go, “Moo!” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Knock-Knock Jokes” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Two cows were standing in a field. The first one said, “Moo.” The second one said, “I was just about to say the same thing.” We are MFOL! . . . what, you didn’t think that was funny? Well, the cattle sure did!  A Butterfly Lights Beside Us
A butterfly lights* beside us, like a sunbeam . . . and for a brief moment it’s glory and beauty belong to our world . . . But then it flies on again and, although we wish it could have stayed, we are so thankful to have seen it at all. By Author Unknown *lights: comes to a rest or lands  Franklin: Where do mice park their boats? Lynette: At the hickory dickory dock. Martin: What does a five-hundred pound mouse say? Tina: “Here kitty, here kitty!” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Domestic Cats” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Hickory, dickory, dock, Three mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one . . . they called 911, And the other two escaped with minor injuries. -Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Accidents and Safety” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Mice Facts - An adult male mouse is called a buck. - An adult female mouse is called a doe. - A young mouse is called a pinkie, a kitten, or a pup. - The plural of mouse is mice. - A group of mice is called a colony, a horde, a mischief, or a nest. - The sounds made by mice are called squeaking and squealing. - Mice in the wild typically live for anywhere from 2 months to 1 year. - Mice in captivity can live for up to 2 and half years, but usually just 1 or 2 years. - Mice belong to the group of animals called rodents, which also includes rats and raccoons. Lottie: What does a mouse pilot say? Otto: “This is your captain squeaking.” A Mouse Under the Bed There was a strange lady who said, When she found a mouse under her bed, “So near to the door, And so close to the floor, I’m afraid you’ll catch cold in the head!” By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Limericks” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Maxine: What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or walk? Francine: A computer mouse. Mice are small rodents found worldwide in many types of environments, or habitats. Varieties of mice by habitat include the house mouse, the wood or forest mouse, and the Mickey Mouse, which lives in animated cartoons. These are types of mice known by their habitats, and are not species-specific, but can be any of many different species of mice living within a specific habitat. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Differences And Individuality” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Mice have pointed snouts, large round hairless ears, black eyes, long facial whiskers, short legs, clawed feet, sharp teeth, and long thin nearly hairless tails. Mouse fur is short, and is often brown, gray, or white in color. Charlene: What did the elephant say when the mouse stepped on his toe? Charla: “Pick on somebody your own size!” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Elephants Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Pamela: What is the difference between a mouse and a moose? Amelia: About a ton. “You are definitely the puniest, most insignificant thing I have ever laid eyes on,” said the elephant to the mouse. “Let me write that down,” the mouse replied. “There is a flea I want to tell it to.” Mice range in size from 8 to 35 centimeters (3 to 14 inches) long, including the length of their tails. Their tails can grow to be as long as their bodies. Mice can weigh from 7 to 57 grams (0.25 to 2 ounces). Bernice: What’s brown, has four legs, and weighs two pounds? Bernard: A fat mouse. “If you give a mouse a cookie, he’s going to ask for a glass of milk.” -Laura Joffe Numeroff: “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” (1985) House mice are believed to have originated long ago in Asia before making their way to Europe and then the rest of the world, accompanying human migration. The house mouse is a wild variety of mouse that often lives in fields and buildings near humans. They are especially fond of farms and food warehouses because they eat the grains and other crops that humans grow and store. A domesticated variety of the house mouse is commonly kept as a pet. Meredith: How do you get a mouse to smile? Merry: Say, “Cheese!” Overheard: Are you a man or a mouse - squeak up! If you are just barely squeaking by in life, chances are you might be a mouse. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Life and Living” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.  Peek-a-boo-mouse, we see you! Elijah: What is a mouse’s favorite game? Eliza: Hide and Squeak. I think if she lived in A little shoe-house - That little old woman was Surely a mouse! -Beatrix Potter: “The Old Woman” (referring to the nursery rhyme “The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe”) Moo Shoe There once was a young mouse named Moo, Who moved to a beat up old shoe. “It’s cozy and warm,” She said with some charm, “And there is a nice lace to chew.” By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Happiness Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Rochelle: Two mice were out walking, and one mouse fell into a river. What did the other mouse do? Rachael: It applied mouse-to-mouse resuscitation. As is the case with all rodents, mice’s teeth grow continuously throughout their lives. They must gnaw on tough material to keep their teeth worn down to a usable length. Mice will chew on wood, plastic, the insulation of electrical wires, and the hulls (shells) of seeds and nuts. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Teeth And Dentists” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “If you build a better mousetrap, you’ll catch a better class of mouse.” -Solomon Short Biff: How do you spell mousetrap with only three letters? Buffy: C-a-t. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Word Spellings” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Question: What is gray and has four legs and a trunk? Answer: A mouse on vacation. The City Mouse and the Garden Mouse The city mouse lives in a house; - The garden mouse lives in a bower*, He’s friendly with the frogs and toads, And sees the pretty plants in flower. The city mouse eats bread and cheese; - The garden mouse eats what he can; We will not grudge him seeds and stalks, Poor little timid furry man. By Christina Rossetti (Christina Georgina Rossetti (1830 - 1894)) *bower: a shady leafy shelter or recess in a woods or garden; an arbor “The goal of science is to build better mousetraps. The goal of nature is to build better mice.” -Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Goals And Planning” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. The animals called ‘field mice’ are actually not mice at all, but are voles, a related member of the rodent family that resemble mice.  Just like birds, mice build nests for their young. Mice chew up grass, leaves, wood, paper, bark, cloth, plastic, and anything else they can get their teeth into, into little bits that they put together into a cozy little nest. Most mice build nests in protected nooks and crannies, but some burrow into the ground. When burrowing underground, mice build very complex homes with long entrances and many escape routes. They are very clean and tidy rodents, with burrows often having separate areas for storing food, sleeping, and other needs. They also build nests above ground in trees and in other plants. Mice have not yet figured out how to build nests in the clouds. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Homes And Families” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Vincent: Why did the mouse hire a maid? Millicent: She wanted her house to be squeaky-clean. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Housekeeping And Housecleaning” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “Consider the little mouse, how sagacious an animal it is which never entrusts its life to one hole only.” -Titus Maccius Plautus (also known simply as Plautus (254 B.C.E. - 184 B.C.E.)): “Truculentus,” Act IV, scene iv, line 15 The mouse that always trusts to one poor hole Can never be a mouse of any soul. -Alexander Pope: “Paraphrase of the Prologue,” line 298 “To a mouse a cat is a lion.” -Author Unknown: Albanian proverb as quoted in Herbert V. Prochnow and Herbert V. Prochnow, Junior, editors: “A Treasury of Humorous Quotations” (1969) Mice eat 15 to 20 times a day, so they usually build their homes close to food sources, and often travel no more than about 8 meters (26.25 feet) from their burrows in search of food. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Mealtimes and Eating” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Henry: How does a mouse feel after a bath? Hermes: Squeaky clean! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Personal Hygiene And Cleanliness” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Mouse in a Hole A little mouse hid in a hole Hid softly in a little hole When all was quiet - As quiet as could be Out popped he! By Author Unknown Many mice are nocturnal animals, meaning they are most active at night. They have poor eyesight but make up for it with their very good hearing, sense of smell, and whiskers. Mice use their whiskers to sense changes in temperature, measure the sizes of openings, and feel the surfaces they walk on. Mice are timid, social, and territorial. All mice can scurry along on the ground, but some can hop or jump. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Animals and Animal Natures” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Myrna: What should you do if you wake up in the middle of the night and hear a mouse squeaking? Marilyn: Oil it. Hickory, Dickory, Dock Three mice ran up the clock - The clock struck one, But the other two got a way! By Author Unknown Mice are omnivores, or animals that eat almost everything. They eat grain, seeds, grasses, fruits, roots, stems, worms, insects such as grasshoppers, and arachnids such as spiders and scorpions.  Mice are capable climbers and splendid swimmers. Most mice are very good jumpers. They can jump up to about 46 centimeters (18 inches) in the air. Mice I think mice Are rather nice. Their tails are long, Their faces small, They haven’t any Chins at all. Their ears are pink, Their teeth are white They run about The house at night. The nibble things They shouldn’t touch And no one seems To like them much. But I think mice Are nice. By Rose Fyleman (Rose Amy Fyleman (1877 - 1957)) Mice can feel temperature changes and alterations in ground terrain through their whiskers. What does this mean? Go ask your father. He’s supposed to know all about that ‘science’ stuff.
Shirley: What kind of shoes do mice wear? Cheryl: Squeakers! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Shoes And Footwear” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Do mice like to eat cheese? Mice do not like cheese as much as might be commonly thought. In sixteenth-century Europe, cheese was a food found in most houses, even among the very poor, so always-hungry mice, nibbling on everything edible in sight, ate whatever they could find, including cheese, which led to a belief that mice like cheese. Mice do not have a special appetite for cheese, and will eat it only for lack of better options. They favor sweet, sugary foods, and as far as human foods go, mice are known to be partial to peanut butter. Isn’t that right, Squeaky? Only the most foolish of mice would hide in a cat’s ear. But only the wisest of cats would think to look there. -Scott Love The predators of mice, meaning animals that hunt, kill, and eat them, include cats, coyotes, foxes, hawks and other birds of prey, humans, owls, raccoons, skunks, snakes, weasels, and wild dogs. Eli: How did the mouse get away from the owl? Jed: He squeaked by. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Owls” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. The Little Mouse I have seen you, little mouse, Running all about the house, Through the hole your little eye, In the wainscot peeping sly, Hoping soon some crumbs to steal, To make quite a hearty meal. Look before you venture out, See if kitty is about. If she’s gone, you’ll quickly run, To the larder for some fun; Round about the dishes creep, Taking into each a peep, To choose the daintiest that’s there, Spoiling things you do not care. By Author Unknown “‘My darling,’ she said at last, ‘are you sure you don’t mind being a mouse for the rest of your life?’ ‘I don’t mind at all,’ I said. ‘It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like as long as somebody loves you.’” -Roald Dahl: “The Witches” (1983) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Love” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Mice need the same things you do: food, shelter, and a place to sleep - and they can find all of these things in your house, unless you take measures to deny these things to mice. Freda: How do you spell mouse? Frederick: M-o-u-s-e. Freda: Do you know what is on the end? Frederick: The letter ‘e.’ Freda: No, a tail! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Anatomy And Physiology” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Hickory, Dickory, Dock Hickory, dickory, dock. The mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck one, the mouse ran down. Hickory, dickory dock. Hickory, dickory, dock. The mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck two, the mouse said, “Boo!” Hickory, dickory dock. Hickory, dickory, dock. The mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck three, the mouse said, “Wee!” Hickory, dickory dock. Hickory, dickory, dock. The mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck four, the mouse said, “No more!” Hickory, dickory dock. By Author Unknown While communicating with each other, mice make ultrasonic as well as regular sounds. It is almost as if mice have their own secret code when they communicate in the ultrasonic range of sound, which humans cannot hear. What could they be saying? Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About The Spoken Word And Speaking” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. John: What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak? Jonathan: Mouse code. “Don’t make yourself a mouse or the cat will eat you.” -A. B. Cheales Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Wisdom And Advice” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Do You Have What It Takes to Be a Mouse? If you would like to be a mouse, you will need the following skills: - Exceptional at scurrying. - Fearless in climbing. - Good at gnawing. - Highly adept at hopping and jumping. - Experienced at burrowing and nest-building. - Quieter than a whisper. Beth: Why did the mouse stay at home all day? Jenny: Because it was raining cats and dogs outside! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Cats and Dogs” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. City Mouse: I just got back from the Moon! Country Mouse: Tell me, what is the Moon like? City Mouse: The Moon is a great big ball of cheese! Country Mouse: Why did you come back to Earth? City Mouse: To get some crackers! Oh, what joy, to be a mouse! More fun follows just below . . . on MFOL!  Peter Penguin
Peter Penguin, Marching by, Toes turned out, Head held high. Long black coat, Clean white vest, Peter Penguin, You’re the best! By Author Unknown  William: What is gray and tons of fun? Katherine: An elephant! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Happiness Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. The Elephant The elephant is quite a beast, He’s rather large to say the least, And though his size is quite impressive, The elephant is not aggressive, He never throws his weight around, Still he always holds his ground. He only wants to feel secure. Long may the elephant endure! By Arnold Sundgaard (Arnold Olaf Sundgaard (1909 - 2006)) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poetry” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Minerva: What is big and gray and goes, “Bubble-bubble-ka-boom!” Minnie: An elephant experimenting with a chemistry set. Elephants can run faster than humans! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Humans And Human Nature” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. A tail behind, a trunk in front, Complete the usual elephant. The tail in front the trunk behind, Is what you very seldom find. -A. E. Housman: as quoted in Herbert V. Prochnow and Herbert V. Prochnow, Junior, editors: “A Treasury of Humorous Quotations” (1969) Elephants Facts - An adult male elephant is called a bull. - An adult female elephant is called a cow. - A young elephant is called a calf. - The plural of elephant is elephants. - A group of elephants is called a herd, or imaginatively, a memory. - A group of elephants walking in single-file is called a parade. - The sound made by elephants is called trumpeting. - Elephants are the largest land animals on Earth. - Elephants are herbivores, or plants-eaters. Question: What goes thump, thump, squish thump, thump, squish? Answer: An elephant with one wet shoe. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Shoes And Footwear” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Elephants belong to the family of animals known as pachyderms, meaning thick-skinned animals. Other members of the pachyderm family are rhinoceroses, hippopotamuses, pigs, tapirs, and extinct wooly mammoths and mastodons. The term ‘pachyderms’ is less-used among people who study and categorize animals recently, but it is a fun word, and possibly may never totally disappear from use. Sandra: Why do elephants catch colds? Sandy: Well, you would too, if you ran around all the time without any clothes on! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Attire and Accessories” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. The two main types of elephants are the African elephant and the Asian elephant. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Differences And Individuality” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Lee: What is the difference between African elephants and Asian elephants? Lars: About three thousand miles! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Geography” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Both male and female African elephants have tusks. Their ears are about 1.5 meters (5 feet) long. African elephants are known by the scientific name Loxodonta africana. They are divided into two subspecies: the African Forest Elephant and the African Bush Elephant. Bill: Why do elephants live in the jungle? Glen: Because they are too big to fit in Tarzan’s treehouse. Asian elephants have smaller bodies and smaller ears than African elephants, and only the males of the Asian elephants have tusks. The scientific name for Asian elephants is Elephas maximus. The four subspecies of Asian elephants are Indian, Ceylon, Sumatran, and Malaysian. Marybeth: What is gray and weighs 200 pounds? Maribelle: A bouncing baby elephant! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Babies and Infants” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Newborn baby elephants weight about 91 kilograms (about 200 pounds). Adult elephants weigh between 2,268 and 6,350 kilograms (5,000 and 14,000 pounds). Some male elephants can grow to be 4 meters (13 feet tall) and weigh between 4,536 and 6,350 kilograms (10,000 and 14,000 pounds). The largest elephant on record weighed about 12,000 kilograms (26,000 pounds). Darlene: What do elephants say when they bump into each other? Charlene: “Small world, isn’t it?” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Meeting And Parting” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. An elephant of average size can carry about 2.7 metric tons (about 6,000 pounds) on its back.  Elephants are the only mammals that cannot jump, and that is good, because the last thing we need is more earthquakes! I’m an animal you might love But I’m too big to be your pet I have an extremely long trunk And it’s said I never forget. Who am I? Solution: I am an elephant. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Rhyming Riddles” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Hickory dickory dock, An elephant ran up the clock, The clock is being repaired. Arvin: How can you tell that elephants are always ready for adventure? Allen: They always have their trunks ready to go! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Adventure And Exploration” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Anne: What has four legs and a trunk? Drew: An elephant? Anne: A mouse going on vacation - fooled you! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Mice” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. After their size, the most noticeable feature of elephants is their trunks. A trunk is an elongation of an elephant’s nose and upper lip. An elephant’s trunk can grow to be about 2 meters (6.5 feet) long, and has about 40,000 muscles, but contains no bones. Besides being used for breathing and smelling, the trunk can be used in much the same way that humans use their arms and hands. Elephants are able to sense the size, shape, texture, and temperature of objects by feeling with their trunks. Elephants have two finger-like projections at the tips of their trunks, which can be used to manipulate and grasp small objects and to pluck grass and leaves to eat. Elephants use their trunks to lift food and to suck up water, which they then pour into their mouths. In summary, elephant’s trunks are very useful tools. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Anatomy And Physiology” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Michelle: Why do elephants have trunks? Mabelle: Because glove compartments are not nearly so stylish. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Vehicles And Driving Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Geronimo: What do you say when you scold an elephant? Tecumseh: “Tusk! Tusk!” Elephants have pairs of tusks, which are long teeth made of a substance called ivory. Elephant tusks grow throughout their lifetimes and can weigh more than 200 pounds. Their tusks help them obtain food and dig in the ground for water. Elephants can also use their tusks to carry heavy objects such as tree trunks. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Teeth And Dentists” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Jeremy: What is big and gray and protects you from the rain? Jered: An umbrellaphant! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Umbrellas And Parasols Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Elephants have large, thin ears. Within them is a complex network of blood vessels. As blood circulates through their ears, it releases heat into the air. Elephants can flap their ears, causing the blood within them to release heat at an even faster rate. The cooled blood then circulates through the rest of the elephants’ massive bodies, helping to keep elephants cool in the hot climates where they live. Pete: What is big and gray and hums? Paul: An electric elephant! Rudy: Why do more elephants not go to college? Ruby: Because so few of them graduate from high school. Nature’s great masterpiece, an elephant, The only harmless great thing. -John Donne (1572 - 1631): “The Progress of the Soul,” line 381 Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Nature and Wildlife” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Owen: How do elephants get squinty eyes? Wendell: From reading the small print on peanut packages. Elephants are herbivores, and spend 16 to 20 hours a day eating leaves, twigs (small branches), bark, tree roots, bamboo, and grasses. They especially like leaves from upper branches, which they get by pushing down trees with their large heads and bodies. They get bark by scraping it off trees with their sharp tusks. During the wet or rainy season, elephants eat things low to the ground, and during the dry season, they use their trunks to gather food from trees and bushes that are higher off the ground. Adult elephants eat 136 to 272 kilograms (300 to 600 pounds) of food every day. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Mealtimes and Eating” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Aaron: Why do elephants eat raw plants? Isaac: Because they do not know how to cook. Willow: Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Mahogany: Because they are really good at it.  Jimmy: Why can elephants not fly? James: Because they do not have propellers. Beverly: Why was the elephant sitting on the marshmallow? Christine: Because she did not want to fall into the hot chocolate. Ella: What did the mother elephant say to her kids when they weren’t behaving? Fitz: “Tusk, tusk.” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Parenthood and Parenting” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Adult elephants need to drink at least 210 liters (55 gallons) of water every day. If an elephant’s trunk holds about 9.5 liters (2.5 gallons) of water, how many times would an elephant need to fill its trunk each day? Roderick: Why is it dangerous to tell elephant jokes? Reginald: Because elephants never forget! Patrice: Why do elephants not like elephant jokes? Patrick: They think they are Dumbo. Melanie: Who started all these crazy elephant jokes? Pamela: That is what the elephants would like to know! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Gossiping and Gossipers” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys, who? Gladys you and not another elephant joke! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Knock-Knock Jokes” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Tabitha: Why did the elephant cross the road? Tabbie: Because she did not want to hear that last joke. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Road Crossings” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Adult elephants sleep between 4 and 5 hours in a 24-hour time period. Their sleep is often broken up into shorter time periods and naps throughout the day and night. In family herds, some of the elephants stay awake while others are sleeping, to guard against predators, especially when the herd has baby elephants to protect. Elephants can adjust their sleep patterns when the weather is hot, napping more in the daytime and staying awake during the cooler nighttime to find food and water. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Sleep And Sleeping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Bernice: What is large, gray, and writes? Brad: A ballpoint elephant! Male elephant mature and leave their herds at about 12 or 13 years of age, living fairly solitary lives from that point onward. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Loneliness And Solitude” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Chad: What is big and gray, and wears glass slippers? Chet: Cinderelephant. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Cinderella By Clara Doty Bates. Carrie: What is big and grey and has horns? Karen: An elephant marching band! Bernard: How do elephants talk to each other? Bernice: On ‘elephones! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Telephones” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. While not noted for their musical talent, the most familiar sound made by elephants is called trumpeting. Elephants can purr as cats do. Elephants can also communicate by making singing and rumbling sounds at between 14 and 35 hertz, which is below human hearing range. Elephants can communicate by stomping on the ground, which makes sounds and vibrations that can be detected by other elephants. These varied types of communication allow elephants to locate other elephants and to call wandering individuals back to the herd, and can ever allow several different herds to stay in direct contact over distances of many miles. Pearl: Why do elephants trumpet? Ruby: Because they don’t know how to play the violin. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Music” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Maude: How can you tell if there is an elephant in your snack food? Todd: Read the list of ingredients. Holding Hands Elephants walking along the trails Are holding hands by holding tails, Trunks and tails are handy things When elephants walk in circus rings. By Leonore M. Link  Elephants . . . among the last dignified inhabitants of Earth . . .
Overheard: The only reason that a great many people do not own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for ten dollars down and ten dollars a week. Ernest: Why do elephants travel in herds? Otis: Because if they traveled in flocks, they might be mistaken for sheep. Female elephants spend their entire lives living in family herds of up to ten females and their young. Each family herd is led by a female elephant called a matriarch, usually the oldest and largest female in the herd. All of the females in the herd are directly related to the matriarch. Herds are known to travel distances of 16 kilometers (10 miles) or farther in a day to look for food and water. When elephants travel, they walk very quietly in single file. Young elephants are led by the older elephants with their tails. They stay close to their mothers at all times. The entire herd will protect the young ones if there are any signs of danger. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Homes And Families” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Going to Work An elephant, going to work, Was heard to remark, with a smirk, “I’ll keep my good manners For hay and bananers But quit if my mahout should shirk.” By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Limericks” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Danny: What would you get if you crossed an elephant and a computer? Daniel: The biggest know-it-all you ever saw. Because of their large size, great strength, and defensive capabilities, full-grown elephants have few natural predators. Elephants can fight with their tusks to defend themselves, and wrap their muscular trunks around other animals. They can push things around with their sheer weight and strength. Elephants can raise their front legs off the ground, standing briefly on just their rear legs, and kick with their front legs or drop their front legs and crushing body weight back down onto any threatening animal. If need be, elephants can also run about 39 kilometers (24 miles) an hour for short distances. Even so, elephants in the wild are vulnerable to lions that prey on young or weak elephants, and humans destroy elephant habitats and kill elephants for their ivory tusks. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Animals and Animal Natures” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Darcy: What is big and gray and takes the bus everywhere? Marcy: An elephant who failed her driver’s license test. Mortimer: What is gray, has 800 feet, and cannot get off the ground? Gerard: An airplane full of elephants. Elephants are good swimmers. They can also walk along the bottom of a lake or river while extending their trunks up to the surface like snorkels to breathe air. Going into water helps them to stay cool when the weather is hot, and they also bathe themselves in the water. Sherman: Why are elephants wrinkled? Herman: Have you ever tried to iron one? Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Laundry” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Opal: Why are elephants so poor? Violet: Because they work for peanuts! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poverty and Prosperity” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Eva: Why is an elephant gray? Evaline: So you will not mistake him for a bluebird. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Birds” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.” -Author Unknown Dana: Why do elephants not ride bicycles? Gina: They do not have thumbs to ring the bells. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Bicycles” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Riddle: Where do elephants pack their clothes? Solution: In their trunks! Elephantine: Resembling or characteristic of an elephant or elephants, especially in being large, clambering, or awkward. Agile elephants may disagree with this generalization! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Daffynitions and Definitions” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Jonah: What vegetable do you get when an elephant walks through your garden? Mona: Squash. “When you have got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it’s best to let him run.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865): as quoted in Charles A. Dana (Charles Anderson Dana (1819 - 1897)): “Recollections of the Civil War” (1897), page 274; work possibly published by Charles Anderson Dana and actually written by Ida Minerva Tarbell (1857 - 1944) John: Why do elephants not use computers? Joan: They are afraid of the mouse. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Fears And Courage” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Alexander: How would you recognize an elephant on the Moon? Alexia: By the big ‘E’ on her spacesuit. An Elephant When people call this beast to mind They marvel more and more At such a little tail behind So large a trunk before. By Author Unknown Merry: What did the elephant wish for on his birthday? Mary: A trunkful of presents! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Birthdays” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Alice: What should you always remember when telling elephant jokes? Ellis: Elephants never forget! “People tell you that an elephant doesn’t forget, but what they don’t tell you is that you will never forget an elephant.” -Author Unknown We are MFOL! . . . Ha, ha, ha - wait, we don’t get it . . .  Bumble Bee
Black and yellow Little fur bee Buzzing away In the timothy*. Drowsy Browsy Lump of a bee Rumbly Tumbly Bumbly bee. Where are you taking Your golden plunder Humming along Like baby thunder? Over the clover And over the hay Then over the apple trees Zoom away. By Margaret Wise Brown *timothy: a type of grass, often grown intermixed with clover plant. Margaret Wise Brown was born on 23 May 1910 in Brooklyn, New York, United States of America. She became a poet and a writer of children’s books. Her published works include, “Goodnight Moon” (1947). Margaret Wise Brown passed on at 42 years of age on 13 November 1952 in Nice, France.  Jenny: What time do ducks wake up? Denny: At the quack of dawn! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Mornings and Dawns” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Ducks are mostly aquatic, or water, birds that live in freshwater and seawater. They can swim on the water’s surface by paddling with their webbed feet, and dive below the water’s surface to find food. Ducks can walk on land and fly through the air. Ducks build nests and lay eggs in them that hatch into ducklings. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Animals and Animal Natures” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Amelia: What type of movie is about water fowl? Cecelia: A duckumentary. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Theater And Thespians” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Gretchen: Why did the duck join the military? Gerard: She was good at quacking codes. “When I see a bird that walks like a duck and swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, I call that bird a duck.” -James Whitcomb Riley (1849 - 1916) “Suppose you see a bird walking around in a farm yard. This bird has no label that says ‘duck.’ But the bird certainly looks like a duck. Also, he goes to the pond and you notice that he swims like a duck. Then he opens his beak and quacks like a duck. Well, by this time you have probably reached the conclusion that the bird is a duck, whether he’s wearing a label or not.” -Richard Cunningham Patterson, Junior (1886 - 1966) “If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands.” -Douglas Adams (Douglas Noel Adams (1952 - 2001)): “Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency” (1987) “If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, but it needs batteries, you probably have the wrong abstraction.” -Author Unknown: analogy of the Liskov Substitution Principle, suggested by Barbara Liskov: “Data Extraction and Hierarchy” (1987) speech Ducks cannot walk without bobbing their heads. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Posture and Gait” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. A duck was about to cross the road when a chicken walked up and said, “Don’t do it, Duck, because you’ll never hear the end of it!” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Road Crossings” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Amos: What do ducks put on their Christmas trees? Moses: Duckerations! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of this article, or click or tap on these words to visit the Christmas Page. Ducks Facts - An adult male duck is called a drake. - An adult female duck is called a hen. - A young duck is called a duckling. - The plural of duck is ducks. - A group of ducks is called a flock. - A group of ducks in water is called a raft. - The sound made by ducks is called quacking. - Ducks are omnivores, or animals that eat both plants and animals. - Ducks can live for 3 to 10 years in the wild. - Ducks can live for 8 or more years in captivity. - Ducks are found on every continent except Antarctica.  To succeed in life, we must be like ducks, which seem to effortlessly float along in the water, but which paddle energetically just out of sight beneath the water’s surface. Shown above is a pair of Pekin Ducks. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Life and Living” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Pekin Ducks are a common farm duck raised for meat and eggs. The ducklings are covered in yellow down, and the adult birds have white feathers. They were brought to America from China in the 1870’s. Another popular farm duck is the Rouen duck, which was originally from France; this duck still has Mallard-like coloring. The Muscovy is an American breed of farm duck having dark feathers. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About History” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Diving ducks and sea ducks search for food deep underwater. To be able to stay underwater more easily, diving ducks are heavy. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Differences And Individuality” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Laura: What do ducks like to eat with soup? Lauren: Quackers! Ducks in the wild are omnivores, or animals that eat plants and animals. They have a varied diet, feeding on aquatic (water) plants, grasses, frogs, small fish, small shellfish, snails, slugs, worms, grubs, insects, and other edibles in their environment. Troubled Duck A duck that I happened to hear Was complaining quite sadly, “Oh, dear! Our picnic’s today, But the weathermen say That the skies will be sunny and clear.” By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Limericks” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Let’s make a new animal that we’ll call the ‘duckopotamus.’ Half duck, half hippopotamus, and perfect for flying between bodies of water like rivers and lakes to remove algae overgrowths from them with its huge appetite. Quick, let’s get to the patent office before anyone else thinks of doing this! Jake: Why was the duck’s medical license revoked? Jack: Because he was a quack. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Doctors And Health Practitioners” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. A duck waddled into a store to buy some lipstick. The clerk asked how she would like to pay for it, and the duck said, “Just put it on my bill.” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Shopping” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Dabbling ducks feed on the surface of water, on land, or by ducking their heads underwater. Along the edge of their beaks is a comb-like structure called a pecten, which enables them to filter nutrients from the water and hold onto slippery food. Margie: What goes, “Quick, quick!”? Maggie: A duck with the hiccups. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Mealtimes and Eating” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Humans often throw pieces of bread to ducks as the ducks swim around in the water of lakes and rivers in parks. People consider this a relaxing recreational activity. To the ducks, it is free food that they get just for being ducks! Riddle: A duck opens this a crack, and out comes a quack - what is it? Answer: A bill. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Rhyming Riddles” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “I was in downtown Boise, Idaho, and I saw a duck. I knew the duck was lost, because ducks aren’t supposed to be downtown. There’s nothing for them there. So I went to a Subway sandwich shop. I said, ‘Let me have a bun.’ She wouldn’t sell me just the bun; she said it had to have something on it. She said it’s against Subway regulations to sell just the bun. I guess the two halves aren’t supposed to touch. So, I said, ‘All right, put some lettuce on it.’ ‘That’ll be $1.75!’ I said, ‘It’s for a duck!’ ‘Oh, then it’s free.’ I did not know that ducks eat for free at Subway! Had I known that, I would have ordered a much larger sandwich. ‘Let me have the steak fajita sub, and don’t bother ringing it up - it’s for a duck! There are six ducks out there, and they all want Sun Chips!’” -Mitch Hedberg (1968 - 2005) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Mitch Hedberg” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. The Duck Behold the duck. It does not cluck. A cluck it lacks. It quacks. It is especially fond Of a puddle or pond. When it dines or sups, It bottoms up. By Ogden Nash (Frederick Ogden ‘Ogden’ Nash (1902 - 1971))  Mandarin Ducks seem to be in competition with butterflies for colors and patterns. The female Mandarin Duck is on the left, and the male Mandarin Duck is the colorful one on the right. Ducks are magical! A duck feather weighs about 0.016 to 0.063 grams, so when you see a duck feather, remember that it just barely exists. Tucker: Who stole the bath soap? Archer: A robber ducky! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Personal Hygiene And Cleanliness” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Randall: When ducks fly in a V-formation, do you know why one side is longer than the other? Russell: Is it because there are more ducks on that side? Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Numbers and Counting” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. The Duck Song I’m a duck and I like the pond Swim and play, all day long All my ducklings swim along “Quack, quack,” they sing my song “Quack, quack, quack,” life is fun Search for food under the Sun See some snails, they can’t run They taste so good, yummm . . . Dad, the drake, he found slugs Then there were the water bugs Called to us to share his luck And we all gave him big hugs Together we swim along In and out of the reeds we play We live a life that’s happy and gay Tomorrow is another day By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Happiness” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Ducks have interlocking feathers with a waxy coating that makes them waterproof. Ducks have a molting season, in which their feathers fall out and new ones grow to take their place. During molting, ducks are much more vulnerable to predators, or animals that want to eat them, because they need their feathers to be able to fly away from danger. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Birds” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Dave: What do you call a duck that likes to swim with alligators? Julia: Dinner. Overheard: Whenever it’s raining and I walk past a stranger on the sidewalk, I make the comment that it’s great weather for ducks. They usually look at me like I’m goofy, but I wait a second and then I say, “Quack, quack!” which of course confirms that I must be. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Weather and Climates” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Because ducks are curious and friendly creatures, they have been domesticated as pets and farm animals for more than five hundred years. All domestic ducks are descended from either the Mallard or the Muscovy duck. Cosmo: What do you call a duck that leads an orchestra? Stella: A con-duck-tor. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Music” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.  The most common and recognized species of duck are Mallards, or Wild Ducks. They are dabbling ducks that live naturally in the Americas, Europe, Asia, and North Africa. They have also been introduced to New Zealand and Australia. The male Mallard has a glossy green head, and gray wings and belly, while the female Mallard has brown-speckled plumage.
Maribelle: How are you today? Maryanne: Just ducky - quack, quack! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Meeting And Parting” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Phil said, “Look at that duck.” Bill said, “That’s a swan, not a duck.” “Duck,” insisted Phil. “Swan,” insisted Bill. All of a sudden, a low-flying goose was heading straight for Bill. “Duck, Bill!” shouted Phil. “Swan!” shouted Bill - and he was conked in the head by the goose. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Accidents and Safety” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Down is a layer of extremely soft feathers found under the outer feathers of birds such as ducks and geese. Ducks pluck down from themselves and use it to line their nests to keep their young warm and safe. Ducklings have only down growth covering them until they are old enough to develop feathers. Down is used as an insulator and padding in products such as jackets, pillows, and sleeping bags. It can be obtained without harming birds by gathering it from their nesting areas after young birds have become old enough to leave the nests and accompany their parent birds out into the wider world to learn the birds’ way of life and live on their own. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Anatomy And Physiology” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Patricia: What happens when you drop a duck egg? Patrick: It quacks. Marcia: What is the difference between a duck? Darcy: One foot is the same. (In case you are wondering, this ridiculous joke has no typing errors or omitted words. It is just as it is meant to be, which is to say, completely nonsensical.) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Nonsense” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Amy: Where can you find out more about ducks? Amelia: You can read all about them in a ducktionary. Mallard-justed: A duck that does not fit in well. Stephen: Why do ducks fly south for the winter? George: Because it’s too far to walk! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Walking And Ambulating” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Many wild ducks migrate seasonally. Some ducks are capable of flying 534 kilometers (332 miles) a day. Cheryl: What is a fast duck? Charlene: A quick quack. Charlene: What is an even faster duck? Cheryl: A quicker quacker! Quack, Quack We have two ducks: one blue, one black. And when our blue duck goes, “Quack-quack,” Our black duck quickly goes, “Quack-quack,” back. The quacks Blue quacks make her quite a quacker But the Black duck is a quicker quacker-backer. By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Tongue Twisters” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Contrary to a common misconception, a duck’s quack does have an echo, though often too low to be heard. Quentin: How do you fix a broken duck? Quincy: Just use some duck-tape. Ducks are a force of nature: they can swim on the water’s surface, dive under water, walk on land, and fly in the air. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Nature and Wildlife” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. A duck walked into a feedstore and asked, “Got any duck feed?” The clerk told him, “No, we don’t have a market for it, so we don’t carry it.” The duck said, “Okay,” and left the store. The next day, the duck again walked in to the feedstore and asked, “Got any duck feed?” Again the clerk said no and the duck left. Next day, the duck again walked in to the feedstore and asked, “Got any duck feed?” The clerk said, “I’ve told you twice, we don’t have duck feed. We’ve never had duck feed, and we will never have duck feed. If you ask me again, I will nail your feet to the floor.” So the duck left. The next day, the duck walked in and asked, “Got any nails?” “No,” said the clerk. So the duck asked, “Got any duck feed?” Harold: What do you get when you put cheese next to some ducks? Jerrold: Cheese and quackers. Six Little Ducks Six little ducks that I once knew: Tall ones, short ones, skinny ones, too - And the one little duck with the feathers on his back, He led them all with his quack, quack, quack. Down to the river they would go, Wibble, wobble, wibble, wobble, to and fro - And the one little duck with the feathers on his back, He led the others with his quack, quack, quack. Into the water he would dive, Then in would go the other five. The one little duck with the feathers on his back, He led them all with his quack, quack, quack. By Author Unknown Wise quacker: A smart duck. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Daffynitions and Definitions” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Ducks are members of the Anatidae family of birds, which also includes swans and geese. Riddle: What do you call a crate of ducks? Answer: A box of quackers. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Puzzles And Riddles” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Now let us all waddle about and be as happy as ducks . . . as we make our way to the next article . . . on MFOL!  The Little Turtle
There was a little turtle. He lived in a box. He swam in a puddle. He climbed on the rocks. He snapped at a mosquito. He snapped at a flea. He snapped at a minnow. And he snapped at me. He caught the mosquito. He caught the flea. He caught the minnow. But he can’t catch me. By Vachel Lindsay Nicholas Vachel Lindsay was born on 10 November 1879 in Springfield, Illinois, United States of America. He became a poet. Nicholas Vachel Lindsay passed on at 52 years of age on 5 December 1931 in Springfield, Illinois, United States of America. Image shown: A Box Turtle, a type of semi-aquatic omnivore, often ranging from 13 to 15 centimeters (5 to 6 inches) from head to tail, and humorously described in the poem above as an animal that will eat anything it can catch.  “No matter how little money or how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.” -Louis Sabin Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poverty and Prosperity” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. If You Have a Dog Thorns may hurt you, Men desert you, Sunlight turn to fog; But you’re never Friendless ever, If you have a dog. By Douglas Malloch (Douglas Malloch, Senior (1877 - 1938)) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Words Heal” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.” -Samuel Butler (also known as Samuel Butler the Younger (1835 - 1902)): “The Note-Books of Samuel Butler” (1912), Part XIV: ‘Higgledy-Piggledy: Dogs’ Examples of the hundreds of different types of dogs include Beagles, Bloodhounds, Border Collies, Chihuahuas, Cocker Spaniels, German Shepherds, Golden Retrievers, Great Danes, Greyhounds, Irish Setters, Labradors, Mutts, and Saint Bernards. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Differences And Individuality” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals.” -James Thurber (1894 - 1961) Astoria: Why do dogs not like to travel on airplanes? Star: They get jet-wag. “In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.” -Edward Hoagland (born 1932): “Dogs and the Tug of Life” Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Animals and Animal Natures” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Paul There once was a young man named Paul Who went to a fancy dress ball; He thought he would risk it, And go as a biscuit, But the dog ate him up in the hall! By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Limericks” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Overheard: I feel sorry for people who do not have dogs. I hear they have to pick up their own food if they drop it on the floor. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Housekeeping And Housecleaning” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Domestic dogs are omnivores, meaning that they eat a variety of foods, including meats, grains, and vegetables. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to visit the Foods Page. Allie: What are dog houses made of? Ellie: Mutterial. “If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise!” -Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Physical Fitness and Exercising” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Thaddeus: What does a dog have on top of his house? Tad: A woof! Dogs see in three basic colors: blue, yellow, and gray. They do not see red and green as humans do, but instead see red and green as shades of gray or brown, brown being a combination of blue and yellow. This is not a problem for dogs, however, as they only need to see the colors necessary for them to survive in their world. Dogs can readily see their prey to hunt and kill it, but they do not need to be able to tell a red ripe tomato or apple from an unripe green tomato or apple because their close wolf ancestors are not dependent on having fruit in their diets. Dogs can see better in low light than humans, and they can detect motion, or movement, better than humans can. “Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” -Roger Caras (Roger Andrew Caras (1928 - 2001)) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Life and Living” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “If you don’t own a dog, at least one, there is not necessarily anything wrong with you, but there may be something wrong with your life.” -Roger Caras (Roger Andrew Caras (1928 - 2001)): “A Celebration of Dogs” (1982) Jennifer: What goes tick-tock, woof-woof? Frederick: A watchdog. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Clocks and Timepieces” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.  “If you can’t decide between a Shepherd, a Setter, or a Poodle, get them all - adopt a mutt.” -Author Unknown: American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) “From the dog’s point of view, his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog.” -Mabel Louise Robinson (1874 - 1962) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Appearances And Looks” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. At the dog-show held at our local hospital fete, there were many handsome dogs with equally handsome owners. But my attention was drawn to a small mongrel and his owner, a boy of about eleven. For nearly an hour, the boy had been gently grooming and hugging his pet in turn. When his name was called the boy tenderly took the dog’s head into his cupped hands and looked at him with all the love a small boy could show. “Now you mustn’t be upset if you don’t win a prize,” he said, “you see, they don’t know you as well as I do.” -Author Unknown Dogs hear both above and below humans on the sound frequency spectrum, and they can also pinpoint sound direction faster and hear sounds that are four times as far away as what humans are capable of hearing. Dogs can locate the source of a sound in 1/600th of a second, using the 18 muscles or more to position their ears for best sound reception. “When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?” -Author Unknown “If the dogs are barking at your heels, you know you’re leading the pack.” -Author Unknown “Dogs need to sniff the ground; it’s how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.” -Dave Barry (David McAlister Barry (born 1947)) Ned: Why does your dog keep turning around in circles? Jed: He is a watchdog and he is winding himself up. A man had seventy-two dogs in his house - until he finally found a doctor who cured him of whistling in his sleep. Dogs have a remarkable sense of smell, and are capable of differentiating odors in concentrations nearly 100 million times lower than humans can. While humans have 5 million smell-detecting cells, dogs have more than 220 million. The part of the brain that interprets smell is also four times larger in dogs than in humans. Dogs have wet noses to collect more of the tiny odor particulates in the air. “The reason dogs have so many friends is because they wag their tails and not their tongues.” -Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About How To Make And Keep Friends” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “Why was the dog laughing? Because he was gnawing on a funny bone.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) Just like their wolf ancestors, dogs in a pack are more likely to chase and hunt than a single dog on its own. Two dogs are enough to form a pack. I am a pet that has four legs, And a tail at the end. You might hear me barking, And I’m known as man’s best friend. Who am I? Solution: I am a dog. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Rhyming Riddles” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “Money may buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.” -Lyle Brown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Kindnesses And Good Deeds” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Eve: Why do dogs bark at criminals? Evelyn: To give them a ruff time! When meeting a strange dog, remember that the dog is likewise meeting a human stranger. Let the dog sniff the back of your closed hand, and do not show the dog your fingers - they are easier to bite! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Meeting And Parting” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. We think we might be on to something here: Remember when dogs were named Bowser and said, “Bow-wow”? Along came dogs with names such as Spot, who said, “Arf, arf.” Then dogs with names like Duke and King started saying, “Woof-woof.” Next came dogs named Killer who said, “Grrr-grrrrrr!” We think dogs were much nicer back when they said, “Bow-wow.” How about you? “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” -Andy Rooney (Andrew Aitken ‘Andy’ Rooney (1919 - 2011)) “Dachshund, a dog and a half long and a half a dog high.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in Herbert V. Prochnow and Herbert V. Prochnow, Junior, editors: “A Treasury of Humorous Quotations” (1969) Dan: Does your dog like children and the elderly? Stan: Yes, but he prefers dog food! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Mealtimes and Eating” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.  “A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk.” -O. A. Battista (Orlando Aloysius Battista (1917 - 1995)) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Walking And Ambulating” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Sheila: Why does a dog wag his tail? Shelby: Because no one will wag it for him. In 2003, Doctor Roger Mugford invented the ‘wagometer,’ a device he claims can interpret a dog’s exact mood by measuring the wag of its tail. “Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.” -Max Eastman (Max Forrester Eastman (1883 - 1969)): “Enjoyment of Laughter” (1936) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Laughter And Laughing” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.” -Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Gossiping and Gossipers” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Basenjis are the only non-barking domestic dogs. They yodel instead, and are known to mimic the sounds of police car, firetruck, and ambulance sirens. Danny: What is the quietest kind of a dog? Denny: A hush puppy. “Dear God, please help me to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am.” -Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Prayers and Spiritual Affirmations” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. First Dog: Ruff, ruff! My name is “Bad Dog, Bad Dog!” What is your name? Second Dog: Arf! My name is “Down, Boy!” “He is your friend, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.” -Author Unknown Imagine a parallel dimension in which it is the dog that takes you for a walk, where you lie on the rug and the dog is on the couch, where dog food looks and smells better than your food - what, you say that is the universe in which you already live? “A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.” -Jack London (pseudonym of John Griffith Chaney (1876 - 1916)) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Charitable Giving and Helping” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Chase: Why are dogs like phones? Chad: Because they have collar I.D.’s! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Telephones” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “My dog understands perfectly everything I say to him. I am the one who does not understand.” -V. Furbish Lousewart One in three dog owners say they have talked to their pets on the phone. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About The Spoken Word And Speaking” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Enormous and Shaggy There was a wee lassie called Maggie, Whose dog was enormous and shaggy; The front end of him Looked vicious and grim . . . But the tail end was friendly and waggy! By Author Unknown “One minute in a dog’s life is like seven minutes in your life. That’s why your dog seems so impatient when wanting to go out for a walk.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Waiting And Patience” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drives into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Let him come out as I do, and bark.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in Mrs. Piozzi: “Anecdotes of Samuel Johnson” (1786), page 252 “My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That’s almost $7.00 in dog money.” -Joe Weinstein Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Money” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Giles: What’s fast, furry, and goes, “Foow, foow”? Gail: A dog chasing a car that’s going in reverse. So, you are a dog and you chase cars - what exactly are your plans if you ever catch one? Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Inquisitiveness And Curiosity” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.  All dogs can be traced back to a weasel-like animal called the Miacis that lived in trees and dens about 40 million years ago. The Miacis later evolved into the Tomarctus, a direct forbear of the genus Canis, which includes wolves and jackals. The first dogs were self-domesticated wolves that hung around the earliest permanent human settlements, 12,000 or more years ago. The first identifiable dog breed appeared in about 9000 B.C.E., and seems to have been a type of Greyhound dog used for hunting. The domestic dog has been one of the most popular animals throughout human history. Dogs have formed such a strong bond as pets, workers, and companions to humans that they have earned the nickname, ‘Man’s best friend.’
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About History” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” -Robert Benchley (Robert Charles Benchley (1889 - 1945)) Why do dogs sometimes turn around several times before taking a nap? Domesticated dogs, being descendants of wild dogs, retain some wild dog instincts. Wild dogs typically live in the forest or in the brush, and often have to trample down grass and weeds to make a comfortable place to lie down. They do this by walking around and around in tight circles. It is speculated remnants of this instinct account for a domesticated dog’s tendency to turn around a few times before taking a nap. Leon: Why was the puppy so well-behaved in class? Noelle: He wanted to be the teacher’s pet. Crystal: In which month do dogs bark the least? Amber: February, because with 28 days, it is the shortest month. A man answered his doorbell and a friend walked in, followed by a very large dog. As they began talking, the dog knocked over a lamp, jumped up on the sofa with his muddy paws, and began chewing on one of the pillows. The outraged householder, unable to contain himself any longer, burst out, “Don’t you think you should train your dog better?” “My dog!” exclaimed the friend in surprise. “I thought it was your dog.” Caleb: Why is a dog so hot in the summer? Kyle: Because it wears a coat and pants. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Attire and Accessories” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. Leash: The strap attached to a dog’s collar, enabling it to lead its person. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Daffynitions and Definitions” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace.” -Milan Kundera (born 1929): as quoted in Doug Gelbert: “The Canine Hiker’s Bible” (2000), page 8 Ernest: How do you get a dog to stop barking in the front seat? Nestor: Put him in the back seat. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Vehicles And Drivers” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. “A dog has the soul of a philosopher.” -Plato (about 427 B.C.E. - about 347 B.C.E.) Perth: Why do dogs run in circles? Bertha: Because it is too hard to run in squares! “No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)) Maggie: How do you know when you have a slow dog? Mollie: He brings you yesterday’s newspaper. In dog language, ‘leather shoe’ means ‘chew toy.’ Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Shoes And Footwear” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Aggie: Why did the dog stay in the shade? Agatha: Because he didn’t want to turn into a hotdog! Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Weather and Climates” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “To err is human, to forgive canine.” -Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Resenting And Forgiving” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. I’ve Got a Dog I’ve got a dog as thin as a rail, He’s got fleas all over his tail; Every time his tail goes flop, The fleas on the bottom all hop to the top. By Author Unknown Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poetry” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “I once had a dog who really believed he was man’s best friend. He kept borrowing money from me.” -Gene Perret (Gene Richard Perret (born 1937)) If you think that it is you who ‘owns’ your dog, just answer this question: Which one of you leads when you go out for a walk together? Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Questions And Queries” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont. Darla: Why do dogs not make good dancers? Darlene: Because they have two left feet. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Dance and Dancing” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “Why don’t we call domestic dogs ‘domestic wolves’?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) Question: Who delivers Christmas presents to dogs? Answer: Santa Paws. Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read and listen to Santa Reads “The Night Before Christmas.” The Ambiguous Dog The dog beneath the Cherry-tree Has ways that sorely puzzle me: Behind, he wags a friendly tail; Before, his Growl would turn you pale! His meaning isn’t wholly clear - Oh, is the Wag or Growl sincere? I think I’d better not descend - His Bite is at the Growly End. By Arthur Guiterman (1871 - 1943) “If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give Fido only two of them.” -Phil Pastoret Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Numbers and Counting” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont. “We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare, and love we can spare. In return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made.” -Margery Facklam (Margery Anne Facklam (1927 - 2015)) We are MFOL! . . . wishing you a tail-wagging good day!  The Early Owl
An owl once lived in a hollow tree, And he was as wise as wise could be. The branch of learning he didn’t know Could scarce on the tree of knowledge grow, He knew the tree from branch to root, And an owl like that can afford to hoot. And he hooted - until, alas! one day, He chanced to hear, in a casual way, An insignificant little bird Make use of a term he had never heard. He was flying to bed in the dawning light When he heard her singing with all her might, “Hurray! hurray! for the early worm!” “Dear me,” said the owl, “what a singular term! I would look it up if it weren’t so late, I must rise at dusk to investigate. Early to bed and early to rise Makes an owl healthy, and stealthy, and wise!” So he slept like an honest owl all day, And rose in the early twilight gray, And went to work in the dusky light To look for the early worm at night. He searched the country for miles around, But the early worm was not to be found; So he went to bed in the dawning light And looked for the “worm” again next night. And again and again, and again and again, He sought and he sought, but all in vain, Till he must have looked for a year and a day For the early worm in the twilight gray. At last in despair he gave up the search, And was heard to remark as he sat on his perch By the side of his nest in the hollow tree: “The thing is as plain as night to me - Nothing can shake my conviction firm. There’s no such thing as the early worm.” By Oliver Herford Oliver Herford was born on 2 December 1860 in Sheffield, England. He was married to Margaret Regan on 26 May 1904 in New York City. He became a humorist, an illustrator, and a writer of light verse. Oliver Herford passed on at 74 years of age on 5 July 1935 in New York City, New York, United States of America. |
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