From the time an infant first tries to get his toes into his mouth, life is a continual struggle for one thing or another . . .
“Each child is an adventure into a better life - an opportunity to change the old pattern and make it new.” -Hubert Humphrey (Hubert Horatio Humphrey, Junior (1911 - 1978))
The word ‘baby’ may possibly be derived from babies babbling, “Ba-ba-ba-ba!”
Baby: A handy way of disposing of unwanted cash and filling up free time, while cutting down on unnecessary sleep, curtailing a demanding social life, and curing a neurotic obsession with personal hygiene.
Catherine: What kind of baby is born with whiskers on its face?
Katy: A kitten!
“I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring.” -Liz Armbruster
The word ‘infant’ is derived from the Latin word ‘infans’ meaning ‘unable to speak’ and typically refers to the ages from 1 to 12 months. A ‘newborn’ usually refers to an infant in the first 28 days of life.
Overheard: “Gaa-gaaa, goo-gooo!”
“I was so surprised at being born that I didn’t speak for a year and a half.” -Gracie Allen (Grace Ethel Cecile Rosalie ‘Gracie’ Allen (1895 or 1902 - 1964))
“Babies are such a nice way to start people.” -Don Herold
Beatrice: I have a new baby sister!
June: What is her name?
Beatrice: I keep asking, but she won’t tell me.
“A baby is God’s opinion that life should go on.” -Carl Sandburg (Carl August Sandburg (1878 - 1967)): “Remembrance Rock” (1948), chapter 2
“It is a pleasant thing to reflect upon, and furnishes a complete answer to those who contend for the gradual degeneration of the human species, that every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870)): “Nicholas Nickleby” (1838 - 1839)
Around the world, an estimated twelve newborns are given to the wrong parents each day, largely because of mix-ups at hospitals. This might explain a few mysteries . . .
All babies have blue eyes at birth. The melanin in a newborn’s eyes often needs some time following birth to be fully in place or to be darkened by exposure to ultraviolet light, eventually revealing a baby’s permanent eye color.
“What good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is usually best after all.” -Benjamin Spock (1903 - 1998)
A baby’s head is proportionally large, at one-quarter of its total body length, compared to the one-eighth of the total body length of an adult’s head.
“Here we have a baby. It is composed of a bald head and a pair of lungs.” -Eugene Field (1850 - 1895)
Bernard: What is your baby’s motto?
Brenda: “If at first you don’t succeed, cry, cry again.”
A new baby is like royalty: he is the prince of wails (or she is the princess of wails).
Do babies have teeth? While most newborn babies do not have teeth, about one in every two thousand babies is born with a tooth.
Overheard: I have finally figured out why babies suck their thumbs. I tried some of the baby food.
“When the baby is done drinking, it must be unscrewed and laid in a cool place under a tap. If the baby does not thrive on fresh milk it must be boiled.” -Author Unknown: “Farm Milk and Infants” (1961), a pamphlet from the United States Department of Agriculture
Some people believe that shaking the head to mean ‘no’ derives from newborns turning their head away from food when they are full.
Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
But children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby. Babies don’t keep.
-Ruth Hulburt Hamilton (born 1921): “Song for a Fifth Child” as published in “Ladies Home Journal” (1958) magazine
It was six o’clock in the evening, and a woman was about to leave the laundry where she worked. Her boss called her over and asked if she would mind dropping off someone’s laundry on her way home. “It’s for my cousin,” she apologized, “who is eight months pregnant and can’t get out much.” The woman cheerfully agreed and, driving to the address, knocked at the door. A little girl, the sister-to-be, answered. “Hi,” the woman said with a big smile. “Is your mommy home?” Holding up the white bundle of clothes, she explained, “I have a delivery for her.” The child’s mouth dropped, and her eyes went wide. “Mom!” she shrieked, “Come quick! It’s the stork!”
Babies are, pound for pound, stronger than an ox. While a baby certainly could not pull a covered wagon, if the child were the size of an ox, it just might be able to do so. Babies have especially strong and powerful legs for such tiny creatures, and they do not know their own strength, so watch out for those kicks!
“The baby rises to its feet, takes a step, is overcome with triumph and joy - and falls flat on its face. It is a pattern for all that is to come! But learn from the bewildered baby. Lurch to your feet again. You’ll make the sofa in the end.” -Pam Brown
Suslick’s First Law of Infant Gravity: You cannot fall off the floor.
Suslick’s Second Law of Infant Gravity: It takes an infant six months to learn this.
-K. S. Suslick
Most babies begin to walk at about 13 months of age, though some may start as early as 9 or 10 months of age and others as late as 15 or 16 months of age.
Do babies have kneecaps? Newborn babies can have a mix of as many as 350 cartilage elements and bones, but by about five years of age, much of the cartilage is replaced by bone and some of the bones will have fused, or joined together, eventually resulting in the 206 bones most adults have. At birth, the cranium, or skull, consists of three unfused plates, or pieces, that fuse into one piece as the baby matures. Babies have cartilage kneecaps, which typically become bone kneecaps by the time a child is somewhere between two and six years of age.
Alexia: What is the best way to drive a baby buggy?
Alex: Tickle its feet.
Overheard: One secret of being a parent is to sleep when the baby is not looking.
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
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Hush, Little Baby
Hush, little baby, don’t say a word,
Mama’s going to buy you a mockingbird.
If that mockingbird won’t sing,
Papa’s going to buy you a diamond ring.
If that diamond ring turns brass,
Mama’s going to buy you a looking glass.
If that looking glass gets broke,
Papa’s going to buy you a billy-goat.
And if that billy-goat runs away,
Mama’s going to buy you another one today.
And all of these things your parents will do,
Because you’re the best little child in the world.
by Author Unknown
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
An English couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby finally came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful French baby boy. The couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, “Whatever possessed you to study French?” The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a French baby and in a year or so he’ll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.”
Born Embarrassed
My mom was born in England.
My dad was born in France.
And I was born embarrassed,
Because I have no pants.
by Bruce Lansky
Donald: What has four wheels and diaper rash?
Donna: A baby in a shopping cart!
A waif awakened and weakly wailed, wanting water.
Babies are nature’s way of showing people what the world looks like at 2:00 a.m.
“I actually remember feeling delight, at two o’clock in the morning, when the baby woke for his feed, because I so longed to have another look at him.” -Margaret Drabble (born 1939)
[A baby is a] “curly, dimpled lunatic.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882): “Essays, Second Series” (1844), ‘Nature’
Rock-a-Bye Baby
Rock-a-bye, baby,
On the treetop.
When the wind blows,
The cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks,
The cradle will fall.
Down will come baby,
Cradle and all.
by Author Unknown
(A bough is a large main branch of a tree, from which smaller branches grow.)
“A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))
Human babies are the only primates that smile at their parents. A baby’s first social smile appears at between four and six weeks after birth.
“When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies. And now when every new baby is born its first laugh becomes a fairy. So there ought to be one fairy for every boy or girl.” -J. M. Barrie (James Matthew Barrie (1860 - 1937)): “Peter Pan” (1928), act I, opening line
Lillian: Why do people dress girl babies in pink and boy babies in blue?
Dalila: Because they can’t dress themselves.
In Ancient Rome, an olive branch was hung from the front door of a house if a boy was born, and a strip of woolen fabric was hung if the child was a girl. Eighteenth-century Londoners hung strips of ribbon on their houses’ doorknockers: pink for a girl and blue for a boy.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wendy.
Wendy, who?
Wendy wind blows the cradle will rock.
“Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man.” -Rabindranath Tagore (also known as Ravīndranātha Thākura or Rabindranath Thakur (1861 - 1941)): “Stray Birds” (1916)
Birth Announcement: A seven-pound baby boy arrived last night to frighten the lives of Mr. and Mrs. Sherman Lee. (Newspaper misprint; ‘frighten’ was supposed to have been ‘brighten’)
What is a ‘baby shower’ and why is it called by that name? A baby shower is a celebration held shortly before a baby is born or shortly after the birth of a baby. It often involves a group of people who visit the mother’s home, bringing baby-themed gifts and sharing important advice with the new mother about what to expect. First-time mothers with new babies may need help materially and knowledge-wise, help which at one time would have been given by family members, relatives, and neighbors, but which is often not available because of the increase in fractured families and poorly-connected communities in the modern world. At a baby shower, the mother and baby are ‘showered’ with gifts, congratulatory statements, and information on child development and child care from well-wishers and experienced parents.
“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” -Benjamin Spock (1903 - 1998): “Baby and Child Care” (1977)
One enterprising mother solved the problem of getting her year-old infant to swallow a pill. She placed first the pill, then the baby, on the playpen floor. True to the ways of small children, he promptly popped the pill into his mouth and gulped it down.
By the time you learn to be a good parent, you are out of a job!
A Baby
A baby is Teddy bears,
powder and pins,
meals at midnight,
giggles and grins.
by Author Unknown
“A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for innocence on Earth, a link between angels and men.” -Martin Farquhar Tupper (1810 - 1889), English writer. “Of Education”
Peek-a-boo, we see you! Further frivolous fun follows . . . on MFOL!
“Each child is an adventure into a better life - an opportunity to change the old pattern and make it new.” -Hubert Humphrey (Hubert Horatio Humphrey, Junior (1911 - 1978))
The word ‘baby’ may possibly be derived from babies babbling, “Ba-ba-ba-ba!”
Baby: A handy way of disposing of unwanted cash and filling up free time, while cutting down on unnecessary sleep, curtailing a demanding social life, and curing a neurotic obsession with personal hygiene.
Catherine: What kind of baby is born with whiskers on its face?
Katy: A kitten!
“I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring.” -Liz Armbruster
The word ‘infant’ is derived from the Latin word ‘infans’ meaning ‘unable to speak’ and typically refers to the ages from 1 to 12 months. A ‘newborn’ usually refers to an infant in the first 28 days of life.
Overheard: “Gaa-gaaa, goo-gooo!”
“I was so surprised at being born that I didn’t speak for a year and a half.” -Gracie Allen (Grace Ethel Cecile Rosalie ‘Gracie’ Allen (1895 or 1902 - 1964))
“Babies are such a nice way to start people.” -Don Herold
Beatrice: I have a new baby sister!
June: What is her name?
Beatrice: I keep asking, but she won’t tell me.
“A baby is God’s opinion that life should go on.” -Carl Sandburg (Carl August Sandburg (1878 - 1967)): “Remembrance Rock” (1948), chapter 2
“It is a pleasant thing to reflect upon, and furnishes a complete answer to those who contend for the gradual degeneration of the human species, that every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870)): “Nicholas Nickleby” (1838 - 1839)
Around the world, an estimated twelve newborns are given to the wrong parents each day, largely because of mix-ups at hospitals. This might explain a few mysteries . . .
All babies have blue eyes at birth. The melanin in a newborn’s eyes often needs some time following birth to be fully in place or to be darkened by exposure to ultraviolet light, eventually revealing a baby’s permanent eye color.
“What good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is usually best after all.” -Benjamin Spock (1903 - 1998)
A baby’s head is proportionally large, at one-quarter of its total body length, compared to the one-eighth of the total body length of an adult’s head.
“Here we have a baby. It is composed of a bald head and a pair of lungs.” -Eugene Field (1850 - 1895)
Bernard: What is your baby’s motto?
Brenda: “If at first you don’t succeed, cry, cry again.”
A new baby is like royalty: he is the prince of wails (or she is the princess of wails).
Do babies have teeth? While most newborn babies do not have teeth, about one in every two thousand babies is born with a tooth.
Overheard: I have finally figured out why babies suck their thumbs. I tried some of the baby food.
“When the baby is done drinking, it must be unscrewed and laid in a cool place under a tap. If the baby does not thrive on fresh milk it must be boiled.” -Author Unknown: “Farm Milk and Infants” (1961), a pamphlet from the United States Department of Agriculture
Some people believe that shaking the head to mean ‘no’ derives from newborns turning their head away from food when they are full.
Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
But children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby. Babies don’t keep.
-Ruth Hulburt Hamilton (born 1921): “Song for a Fifth Child” as published in “Ladies Home Journal” (1958) magazine
It was six o’clock in the evening, and a woman was about to leave the laundry where she worked. Her boss called her over and asked if she would mind dropping off someone’s laundry on her way home. “It’s for my cousin,” she apologized, “who is eight months pregnant and can’t get out much.” The woman cheerfully agreed and, driving to the address, knocked at the door. A little girl, the sister-to-be, answered. “Hi,” the woman said with a big smile. “Is your mommy home?” Holding up the white bundle of clothes, she explained, “I have a delivery for her.” The child’s mouth dropped, and her eyes went wide. “Mom!” she shrieked, “Come quick! It’s the stork!”
Babies are, pound for pound, stronger than an ox. While a baby certainly could not pull a covered wagon, if the child were the size of an ox, it just might be able to do so. Babies have especially strong and powerful legs for such tiny creatures, and they do not know their own strength, so watch out for those kicks!
“The baby rises to its feet, takes a step, is overcome with triumph and joy - and falls flat on its face. It is a pattern for all that is to come! But learn from the bewildered baby. Lurch to your feet again. You’ll make the sofa in the end.” -Pam Brown
Suslick’s First Law of Infant Gravity: You cannot fall off the floor.
Suslick’s Second Law of Infant Gravity: It takes an infant six months to learn this.
-K. S. Suslick
Most babies begin to walk at about 13 months of age, though some may start as early as 9 or 10 months of age and others as late as 15 or 16 months of age.
Do babies have kneecaps? Newborn babies can have a mix of as many as 350 cartilage elements and bones, but by about five years of age, much of the cartilage is replaced by bone and some of the bones will have fused, or joined together, eventually resulting in the 206 bones most adults have. At birth, the cranium, or skull, consists of three unfused plates, or pieces, that fuse into one piece as the baby matures. Babies have cartilage kneecaps, which typically become bone kneecaps by the time a child is somewhere between two and six years of age.
Alexia: What is the best way to drive a baby buggy?
Alex: Tickle its feet.
Overheard: One secret of being a parent is to sleep when the baby is not looking.
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
Hush, Little Baby
Hush, little baby, don’t say a word,
Mama’s going to buy you a mockingbird.
If that mockingbird won’t sing,
Papa’s going to buy you a diamond ring.
If that diamond ring turns brass,
Mama’s going to buy you a looking glass.
If that looking glass gets broke,
Papa’s going to buy you a billy-goat.
And if that billy-goat runs away,
Mama’s going to buy you another one today.
And all of these things your parents will do,
Because you’re the best little child in the world.
by Author Unknown
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
An English couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby finally came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful French baby boy. The couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, “Whatever possessed you to study French?” The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a French baby and in a year or so he’ll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.”
Born Embarrassed
My mom was born in England.
My dad was born in France.
And I was born embarrassed,
Because I have no pants.
by Bruce Lansky
Donald: What has four wheels and diaper rash?
Donna: A baby in a shopping cart!
A waif awakened and weakly wailed, wanting water.
Babies are nature’s way of showing people what the world looks like at 2:00 a.m.
“I actually remember feeling delight, at two o’clock in the morning, when the baby woke for his feed, because I so longed to have another look at him.” -Margaret Drabble (born 1939)
[A baby is a] “curly, dimpled lunatic.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882): “Essays, Second Series” (1844), ‘Nature’
Rock-a-Bye Baby
Rock-a-bye, baby,
On the treetop.
When the wind blows,
The cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks,
The cradle will fall.
Down will come baby,
Cradle and all.
by Author Unknown
(A bough is a large main branch of a tree, from which smaller branches grow.)
“A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))
Human babies are the only primates that smile at their parents. A baby’s first social smile appears at between four and six weeks after birth.
“When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies. And now when every new baby is born its first laugh becomes a fairy. So there ought to be one fairy for every boy or girl.” -J. M. Barrie (James Matthew Barrie (1860 - 1937)): “Peter Pan” (1928), act I, opening line
Lillian: Why do people dress girl babies in pink and boy babies in blue?
Dalila: Because they can’t dress themselves.
In Ancient Rome, an olive branch was hung from the front door of a house if a boy was born, and a strip of woolen fabric was hung if the child was a girl. Eighteenth-century Londoners hung strips of ribbon on their houses’ doorknockers: pink for a girl and blue for a boy.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wendy.
Wendy, who?
Wendy wind blows the cradle will rock.
“Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man.” -Rabindranath Tagore (also known as Ravīndranātha Thākura or Rabindranath Thakur (1861 - 1941)): “Stray Birds” (1916)
Birth Announcement: A seven-pound baby boy arrived last night to frighten the lives of Mr. and Mrs. Sherman Lee. (Newspaper misprint; ‘frighten’ was supposed to have been ‘brighten’)
What is a ‘baby shower’ and why is it called by that name? A baby shower is a celebration held shortly before a baby is born or shortly after the birth of a baby. It often involves a group of people who visit the mother’s home, bringing baby-themed gifts and sharing important advice with the new mother about what to expect. First-time mothers with new babies may need help materially and knowledge-wise, help which at one time would have been given by family members, relatives, and neighbors, but which is often not available because of the increase in fractured families and poorly-connected communities in the modern world. At a baby shower, the mother and baby are ‘showered’ with gifts, congratulatory statements, and information on child development and child care from well-wishers and experienced parents.
“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” -Benjamin Spock (1903 - 1998): “Baby and Child Care” (1977)
One enterprising mother solved the problem of getting her year-old infant to swallow a pill. She placed first the pill, then the baby, on the playpen floor. True to the ways of small children, he promptly popped the pill into his mouth and gulped it down.
By the time you learn to be a good parent, you are out of a job!
A Baby
A baby is Teddy bears,
powder and pins,
meals at midnight,
giggles and grins.
by Author Unknown
“A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for innocence on Earth, a link between angels and men.” -Martin Farquhar Tupper (1810 - 1889), English writer. “Of Education”
Peek-a-boo, we see you! Further frivolous fun follows . . . on MFOL!
