Learning - Make Fun Of Life!

Latin

“We play well in groups.” [English]
“Ludemus bene in compania.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown: motto of the Barony of Marinus
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“I forgot to polish the clocks!” [English]
“Oblitus sum perpolire clepsydras!” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“Time flies.” [translation to English]
“Tempus fugit.” [original Latin]
-Publius Vergilius Maro (also known simply as Vergil or Virgil (70 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.))

Why do people learn Latin? The answer to that question can be found further down this page, and as we make our way there, let’s look at some varying degrees of humor, inspiration, and learning, in both English and Latin . . .

“That which is said in Latin sounds profound.” [translation to English]
“Quidquid latine dictum sit altum videtur.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“Through hardship to the stars.” [English]
“Per ardua ad astra.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown: motto of the British Royal Air Force

“Is it not nifty?” [English]
“Appareo decet nihil munditia?” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“I’ll have a pizza with everything on it.” [English]
“Da mihi sis crustum etruscum cum omnibus in eo.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“He who does not advance, goes backwards.” [translation to English]
“Quinon proficit deficit.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!” [English]
“Clamo, clamatis, omnes clamamus pro glace lactis!” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

Latin phrases are often described as ’multum in parvo,’ or ‘conveying much in few words.’

“Here We Are.” [English]
“Ad Sumus.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown: motto of the Brazilian Marine Corps

“That you may be loved, be lovable.” [English]
“Ut ameris, amebilis esto.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“To err is human.” [translation to English]
“Errare humanum est.” [original Latin]
-Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“Just the facts, ma’am.” [English]
“Dic mihi solum facta, domina.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown: “Dragnet” broadcast series, line of character Sergeant Joe Friday portrayed by actor Jack Webb

“From here the way leads to the stars.” [English]
“Hinc itur ad astra.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown: written on the wall of the old astronomical observatory of Vilnius University, Lithuania, and the university’s motto.
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“If the wind will not serve, take to the oars.” [translation to English]
-Author Unknown
“Destitutus ventis, remos adhibe.” [original Latin]

“Never Tickle A Sleeping Dragon.” [English]
“Draco dormiens nunquam titllandus.” [Latin]
-J. K. Rowling (Joanne ‘Jo’ Rowling (born 1965)): motto of Harry Potter’s alma mater

“Magna est vis consuetudinis.”
“Great is the power of habit.”
-Author Unknown
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“He was raising a tempest in a teapot.” [modern parlance]
“He was stirring up billows in a ladle.” [translation to English]
“Excitabat fluctus in simpulo.” [original Latin]
-Marcus Tullius Cicero (also known as Tully or simply Cicero (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.))

“Si hoc legere scis numium eruditionis habes.” [Latin]
“If you can read this, you are overeducated.” [English]
-Author Unknown

“By endurance we conquer.” [English]
“Fortitudine vincimus.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“My calculator does not work without batteries.” [English]
“Ducator meus nihil agit sine lagunculae leynidae accedunt.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“The drop excavates the stone, not with force but by falling often.” [translation to English]
“Gutta cavat lapidem, non vi sed saepe cadendo.” [original Latin]
-Publius Ovidius Naso (also known simply as Ovid (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18))

“Isn’t that lucky! My ball just rolled out of the rough and onto the fairway!” [English]
“Fortunatus sum! Pila mea de gramine horrido modo in partum lene recta volvit!” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“The burden is made light which is borne well.” [translation to English]
“Leve fit, quod bene fertur, onus.” [original Latin]
-Publius Ovidius Naso (also known simply as Ovid (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17 or 18))

“Life is more than merely staying alive.” [English]
“Vita non est vivere sed valere vita est.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“Now Or Never.” [English]
“Nunc Aut Nunquam.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown: motto of the Dutch elite special forces Korps Commandotroepen

“A mouse does not rely on just one hole.”
“Mus uni non fidit antro.” [original Latin]
-Titus Maccius Plautus (also known simply as Plautus (254 B.C.E. - 184 B.C.E.))

“Festina lente.” [original Latin]
“Make haste slowly.” [translation to English]
-Augustus Caesar (born Gaius Octavius; also known as Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus and by other names and titles (63 B.C.E. - C.E. 14)): as quoted in Gaius Suetonius Tranquillus: “Lives of the Caesars” (about C.E. 121)

“Gilligan’s Island” [English]
“Insula Gilliganis” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“Nature abhors a vacuum.” [translation to English]
“Natura abhorret a vacua.” [original Latin]
-François Rabelais (1494 - 1553)

“Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe.” [English]
“Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum europe vincendarum.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“No one is without fault.” [translation to English]
“Nemo sine vitio est.” [original Latin]
-Marcus Annaeus Seneca (also known as Seneca the Elder or Seneca the Rhetorician (54 B.C.E. - C.E. 39))

“You infernal machine! Give me a beverage or give me my money back!” [English]
“Machina improba! Vel mihi ede potum vel mihi redde nummos meos!” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“You haven’t aged a bit!” [English]
“Minime senuisti!” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“I will either find a way or make one.” [English]
“Aut viam inveniam aut faciam.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“Musica delenit bestiam feram.”
“Music soothes the savage beast.”
-Author Unknown
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“Never despair!” [translation to English]
“Nil desperandum!” [original Latin]
-Quintus Horatius Flaccus (also known simply as Horace (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.))

Picture of a toy yellow rubber ducky, and the Latin words, Ubi Est Mea Anaticula Cumminosa? followed by the translation to English, Where’s My Rubber Ducky? - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“I don’t care. If it doesn’t rhyme, it isn’t a poem.” [English]
“Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“Ready for anything.” [English]
“Utrinque paratus.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown: motto of the British Parachute Regiment and of the Belize National Coast Guard

“No stranger to misfortune [myself], I learn to relieve the sufferings [of others].”
“Non ignara mals, miseris svccvrrere disco.”
-Author Unknown
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“Not all those who own a musical instrument are musicians.” [translation to English]
“Non omnes qui habemt citharam sunt citharoedi.” [original Latin]
-Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626)

“How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?” [English]
“Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“I’ll get you, you wascally wabbit!” [English]
“Te capiam, cunicule sceleste!” [Latin]
-Elmer Fudd

“Always faithful.” [English]
“Semper fidelis.” or “Semper fi.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown: motto of the United States Marine Corps

“I do not live to eat, but eat to live.” [translation to English]
“Non ut edam vivo, sed vivam edo.” [original Latin]
-Quintilian (Marcus Fabius Quintilianus (about C.E. 35 - C.E. 100))
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“I count only the bright hours.” [translation to English]
“Horas non numero nisi serenas.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown: inscription on a sundial
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“You’re from New York, aren’t you?” [English]
“Nonne de novo eboraco venis?” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“We learn by teaching.” [English]
“Docendo discimus.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“Never a backward step.” [English]
“Vestigia nulla retrorsum.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown: motto of Wanganui Collegiate School
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“A great man can come from a hut.” [translation to English]
“Potest ex casa magnus vir exire.” [original Latin]
-Lucius Annaeus Seneca (also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“The first thing is to do no harm.” [translation to English]
“Primum non nocere.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown: Hippocratic oath
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“I really don’t know all that much Latin.” [English]
“Revera linguam latinam vix cognovi.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“O diem praeclarum!” [Latin]
“Oh, what a beautiful day!” [English]
-Author Unknown
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“Learn by doing.” [English]
“Discere faciendo.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown: motto of California Polytechnic State University, California, United States Of America

“What’s up, Doc?” [translation to English]
“Quid agis, medice?” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“Peace is the greatest good.” [English]
“Pax optima rerum.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“Quomodo vales?” [Latin]
“How are you?” [English]
-Author Unknown
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“I know that I know nothing.” [translation to English]
“Scio me nihil scire.” [original Latin]
-Socrates (470 B.C.E. - 399 B.C.E.)

“That’s the way the cookie crumbles.” [English]
“Sic friatur crustum dulce.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“Honk if you speak Latin.” [English]
“Sona si Latine loqueris.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“Si minor plus est ergo nihil sunt omnia.” [Latin]
“If less is more, then nothing is everything.” [English]
-Author Unknown
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“Yes, that is a very large amount of corn.” [English]
“Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“Valor, not garland.” [England]
“Virtus non stemma.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown: motto of the Duke of Westminster, inscribed at his residence in Eaton and the motto of the Grosvenor Rowing Club and the Harrow County School for Boys

“Have you lost weight?” [English]
“Nonne macescis?” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“For fear of failure, he did nothing.” [modern parlance]
“He who feared he would not succeed sat still.” [translation to English]
“Sedit qui timuit ne non succederet.” [original Latin]
-Quintus Horatius Flaccus (also known simply as Horace (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)): Book I, epistle xvii, line 37

“Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri?” [Latin]
“How do you get your hair to do that?” [English]
-Author Unknown
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“As you sow, so shall you reap.” [translation to English]
“Ut sementem feceris, ita metes.” [original Latin]
-Marcus Tullius Cicero (also known as Tully or simply Cicero (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.))

“Seen any good movies lately?” [English]
“Vidistine nuper imagines moventes bonas?” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“Knowledge is the adornment and protection of the Empire.” [English]
“Scientia imperii decus et tutamen.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown: motto of Imperial College London

“Per aspera ad astra.” [Latin]
“Through the thorns to the stars.” [English]
-Author Unknown
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Although sometimes called a ‘dead language’ because it is no longer commonly spoken, Latin was once considered a ‘Universal Language’ by the elite and the educated (anybody who could read) in Western Europe and some other places in the world. Children were taught Latin in schools to ensure their positions in the upper classes of society, and any written work was expected to be in Latin if it was to be accepted as a serious scholarly, scientific, theological, mathematical, philosophical, legal, or literary piece. The advantage of a Universal Language is that people would need to learn only their native tongue plus the single Universal Language, which they could then use in communicating with others who used any of many different languages. So, if a French speaker, an English speaker, an Italian speaker, a German speaker, and a Spanish speaker got together, they could all speak, read, and write the Universal Language rather than needing to communicate in five different languages. Latin has fallen out of common use, and English is presently closest to holding the Universal Language title, although it will likely lose that position as computers become capable of real-time language translations. However, knowing a smattering of Latin can still be useful because many phrases, words, and parts of words (such as prefixes, root words, and suffixes) have Latin origins.

“At the same time both said and done.” [translation to English]
“Simul et dictum et factum.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown

Picture in metallic gold letters of the Latin words, Carpe diem, followed by the English translation, Seize the day, originally said by Quintus Horatius Flaccus (also known simply as Horace (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)) in his work, “Odes,” Book 1, ode 11, line 8 - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“I can’t hear you. I have a banana in my ear.” [English]
“Te audire non possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“Those green pants go so well with that pink shirt and the plaid jacket.” [English]
“Braccae illae virides cum subucula rosea et tunica caledonia-quam elenganter concinnatur. “ [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“I think some people in togas are plotting against me.” [English]
“Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“Are your cows happy?” [English]
“Suntne vacci laeti?” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“Overcome evil with good.” [English]
“Bono malum superate.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown: motto of Westonbirt School

“It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.” [English]
“Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“The heavens declare the glory of God.” [translation to English]
“Caeli enarrant gloriam Dei.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown

“Mind increases by using.” [translation to English]
“Mens crescit agendo.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“My conscience is more to me than what the world says.” [English]
“Mea mihi conscientia pluris est quam omium sermo.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“Give me a hamburger, french fries, and a thick shake.” [English]
“Da mihi sis bubulae frustrum assae, solana tuberosa in modo gallico fricta, ac quassum lactatum coagulatum crassum.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“In the absence of light, darkness prevails.” [English]
“In absentia lucis, tenebrae vincunt.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“Let the buyer beware.” [translation to English]
“Caveat emptor.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“The burden is made light which is borne well.” [English]
“Leve fit quod bene fertur onus.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“Save the whales!” [English]
“Balaenae nobis conservandae sunt!” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“Do not irritate lions.” [English]
“Noli irritare leones.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“Do you want to dance?” [English]
“Visne saltare?” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“You know, Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.” [original English]
“Certe, toto, sentio nos in kansate non iam adesse.” [translation to Latin]
-L. Frank Baum (Lyman Frank Baum (1856 - 1919)): “The Wizard of Oz” (1939), line of character Dorothy

“Examine the past, examine the present, examine the future.” [English]
“Respice, adspice, prospice.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“Every man is the artisan of his own fortune.” [English]
“Faber est suae quisque fortunae.” [Latin]
-Appius Claudius Caecus: motto of Fort Street High School in Petersham, Sydney, Australia

“Blessed be the name of the Lord.” [translation to English]
“Sit Nomen Domini Benedictum.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“A safe journey to you.” [English]
“Bene ambula et redambula.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“I see the better way and approve it, but I follow the worse way.” [English]
“Video meliora proboque deteriora sequor.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“Arms maintain peace.” [translation to English]
“Arma tuentur pacem.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown

“If you can read this bumper sticker, you are both very well educated and much too close.” [English]
“Sic hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“As spring brings flowers, so study brings honours.” [English]
“Ut ver dat florem, studium sic reddit honorem.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“To improve the law is to improve life.” [English]
“Meliorare legem meliorare vitam est.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown: motto of the Salem/Roanoke County, Virginia Bar Association.

“‘A precipe in front, wolves behind.” [translation to English]
“Between a rock and a hard place.” [similar idea]
“A fronte praecipitium, a tergo lupi.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“Old MacDonald had a farm. And on his farm he had some cows. E-I-E-I-O. With a moo moo here, and a moo moo there. Here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a moo. Old MacDonald had a farm. E-I-E-I-O.” [English]
“Macdonaldus Senex fundum habuit. E-I-E-I-O. Et in hot fundo nonnullas boves domesticas habuit. E-I-E-I-O. Cum moo moo hic, et cum moo moo ibi. Hic una moo, ibi una moo, ubique una moo. Macdonaldus Senex fundum habuit. E-I-E-I-O.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“There is safety in numbers.” [translation to English]
“Defendit numerous.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown

“The clothes make the man.” [translation to English]
“Vestis virum reddit.” [original Latin]
-Quintilian (Marcus Fabius Quintilianus (about C.E. 35 - C.E. 100))
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“Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!” [Latin]
“If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin!” [English]
-Author Unknown

“What can be done today should not be delayed.” [English]
“Per multum cras, cras, crebro dilabitur aetas.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“Always prepared.” [translation to English]
“Semper paratus.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown: motto of the United States Coast Guard

“They can because they think they can.” [English]
“Possunt quia posse videntur.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“If you are wise, be a bee.” [English]
“Si sapis, sis apis.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“Wisdom is better than gold.” [English]
“Sapientia melior auro.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown: Motto of the University of Deusto, Bilbao, San Sebastián, Spain
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“A picture is a silent poem.” [English]
“Muta est pictura poema.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“The spoken word vanishes but the written letter remains.” [English]
“Vox audita perit, littera scripta manet.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“How much is that doggie in the window?” [English]
“Quanti canicule ille in finestere?” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“Qui vult dare parva non debet magna rogare.” [Latin]
“He who wishes to give little should not ask for much.” [English]
-Author Unknown
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“Cow, cow! “ [English]
“Vacca, vacca!” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“Nothing without labor.” [English]
“Nil sine labore.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“The tree can be recognized by its fruits.” [English]
“E fructu arbor cognoscitur.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown

“Flying saucers are real.” [English]
“Orbes volantes exstare.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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‘Derident Vitae!’ is Latin for ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ . . . but it’s not the only Latin worth knowing . . .

Cheapskates And Misers

Picture of a pile of money bags with dollar symbols printed on them, and the words, Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Cheapskates And Misers Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Gerard: How many misers does it take to change a light bulb?
Jeremy: None - misers are so cheap that they would rather sit in the dark than buy a new bulb!
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“No matter what the product or service might be, you can always find it somewhere else cheaper!” -Ebenezer Scrooge

A boy asked his father for twenty dollars. His father replied, “Ten dollars, what in the world do you need five dollars for, I’d be happy to give you a dollar, here’s a quarter.”

“If saving money is wrong, I don’t want to be right!” -William Shatner (William Alan Shatner (born 1931))

“If you really want your friends to remember you, give them something cheap.” -Author Unknown

Miserly tip: Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don’t know.

“There is scarcely anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse, and sell a little more cheaply. The person who buys on price alone is this man’s lawful prey.” -attributed to John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

After being away on a business trip, Tim thought it would be nice to get his wife a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $85. “That’s a bit much,” said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $49. “That’s still quite a bit,” Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $17 bottle. “What I mean is,” said Tim, “I’d like to see something really cheap.” So the clerk handed him a mirror.

“In the old days, a man who saved money was a miser; nowadays he’s a wonder.” -Author Unknown

Picture of a person picking up a small coin that is lying on a sidewalk, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Matthew: How was copper wire invented?
Matilda: Two cheapskates were fighting over a penny.

A man walked into a coffee shop and asked the waitress, “How much is the coffee?” “Coffee is three dollars,” the waitress said. “How much is a refill?” the man asked. “Free,” said the waitress. “Great, then I’ll take a refill!” said the man.
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“The miser acquires, yet fears to use his gains.” [translation to English]
“Quærit, et inventis miser abstinet, ac timet uti.” [original Latin]
-Quintus Horatius Flaccus (also known simply as Horace (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)): “Ars Poetica” (18 B.C.E.), 170

Ned: Which dog has long hair and never spends any money?
Dan: An Old English cheap dog.
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Ellie: Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?
Angela: Because every buck is dear to him!

The following anecdote is about the Austrian poet Peter Altenberg. “Though in fact he maintained a very solid bank balance, Mr. Altenberg had a mania for begging. The poet and critic Karl Kraus tells how Altenberg besought him again and again to give him a hundred kronen, and on every occasion Mr. Kraus refused him. Finally, his patience at an end, Kraus burst out, “Look Peter, I’d gladly give it to you, but I really, really don’t have the money.” “Very well, I’ll lend it to you,” said Altenberg.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard, editors: “Bartlett’s Book of Anecdotes” (2000)

Overheard: I hate to always eat and run, but with the way I tip, it’s the only safe procedure!

A Young Fellow Named B. B.

A certain young fellow named B. B.
Wished to marry a lady named Phoebe
“But,” he said. “I must see
What the minister’s fee be
Before Phoebe be Phoebe B. B.”

By Author Unknown

Picture of a human hand palm holding some coins, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Miserly tip: When the very young and the very old team up, they can really benefit. Grab any available grandma or grandpa to take with you when shopping, give them your cash, have them pay at the checkout for your items so you can get a 5% senior discount, where available, and then use the savings to buy lunch for you and your new old person friend.

“I do not prize the word cheap. It is not a badge of honor . . . it is a symbol of despair. Cheap prices make for cheap goods; cheap goods make for cheap men; and cheap men make for a cheap country!” -William McKinley (1843 - 1901)

“Free speech: Using someone else’s telephone.” -Author Unknown
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Good Places to Look for ‘Pennies from Heaven’
- Around parking meters.
- In laundromats.
- In outdoor water fountains.
- In parking lots.
- On the sidewalks when you go for long walks.
- Under amusement park rides.
- Under coin-operated vending machines.
- Under the bleachers at sports events.

“Small change can often be found under seat cushions.” -Author Unknown
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First man: Why do you always remove the batteries from the clock and keep them outside?
Second man: I want to extend the battery life, and so I put them in the clock only when I want to see the time.
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Penelope: Why do misers like paper money more than coins?
Penny: When they put it in their pockets they double it, when they take it out, it’s ‘in creases.’
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‘Tis strange the miser should his cares employ
To gain the riches he can ne’er enjoy.
-Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744)

Picture of a nearly empty tube of toothpaste, with a plastic toothpaste tube squeezer gizmo placed on the tube, in order to squeeze every last bit of toothpaste out of it, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“There is always a little more toothpaste in the tube. Think about it.” -Bill Bryson (born 1951): “Notes from a Big Country” (1999)
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There are money-saving devices, as for example, attachments that fit over tubes of toothpaste to allow every bit of toothpaste to be squeezed out; however, the problem with such devices is that people have to part with some money to have them.

“If you want to say it with flowers, a single rose says: I’m cheap!” -Delta Burke
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In 1951, the richest woman in the world was Harriet Sylvia Ann Howland Robinson Green Wilks (1871 - 1951), who left an estate of $94,965,229 (about $1,150,840,000 in today’s dollars) in a will that was found in a tin box with four pieces of carefully saved soap.
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Overheard: I am such a cheapskate that I do not even have skates!

“Cheap is seldom good, and good is seldom cheap.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
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“I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, ‘It’s free with purchase.’ I asked her if anyone bought anything today.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“Misers are no fun to live with but they make great ancestors.” -Tom Snyder (born 1936)
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Repeat after us: Cheap is good, cheap is good, cheap is good . . .

“A miser grows rich by seeming poor; an extravagant man grows poor by seeming rich.” -William Shenstone (1714 - 1763)
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Picture of a man carefully counting and stacking coins, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

A miser was at the top of a ladder when a coin fell from his pocket. The coin bounced off his shoulder as both he and the coin rapidly raced toward the ground.
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“I pity that man who wants a coat so cheap that the man or woman who produces the cloth shall starve in the process.” -Benjamin Harrison (1833 - 1901)

And then there was the miser who took his date to the beach and told her ‘shady’ stories so that he would not have to rent an umbrella . . .
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Miserly tip: Do not waste money on expensive music playing gadgets. Instead, just think of your favorite tune and hum it. If you want to ‘switch tracks,’ simply think of another song you like and hum that one.
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Overheard: Cheapest is best.

Love - Laugh - Learn - Liv - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net

Keepsakes Of A Cheapskate

Empty cardboard boxes,
     Meters of old string,
I am a cheapskate, and
     I will save any old thing.

My bed is a rubber dingy
     That washed up on the shore
I am miserly and stingy -
     But even I won’t sleep on the floor!

By David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
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Melba: What do misers do when it is cold?
Blaine: They sit around a candle.

Brenda: What do misers do when it is really, really cold?
Belinda: They light the candle!

A miser was in a candle shop and asked, “Does one type of candle burn longer than another?” The shopkeeper replied, “No, they all burn shorter.”

“A cheapskate is a person who tries to live far above his means, while a miser is a person who successfully lives far beneath his means.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“He who is frugal is the richest of men, and the miser is the poorest.” -Nicolas Chamfort (also known as Sébastien Chamfort and Sébastien-Roch Nicolas Chamfort and Sébastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort, born as Nicolas-Sébastien Roch (1741 - 1794)): “Maxims and Thoughts” (1796), as translated by W. S. Merwin (1984)

Have you heard about the cheapskate who was pleased with himself because he had married a woman who was born on 29 February? He would only have to buy her a birthday present once every four years!
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There was an Old Man of El Hums,
Who lived upon nothing but Crumbs,
Which he picked off the ground,
With the other birds round,
In the roads and the lanes of El Hums.
-Edward Lear (1812 - 1888)

Now you, too, can join in by standing up and proudly proclaiming, “I am a cheapskate!”

Bertie: What is the difference between a miser and a canary?
Bernard: One is a little cheap and the other is a little cheeper.

“The happiest miser on Earth is the man who saves up every friend he can make.” -Robert E. Sherwood
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“What he has is of no more use to the miser than which he has not.” -Publilius Syrus (also known simply as Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.))

Miserly tip: Before throwing away old shoes, remove the shoestrings, which can be used to make clotheslines, dog leashes, a hammock, a giant ball of string, and many other things.
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One old geezer was so miserly that he kept a brown paper bag in the attic of his house, labeled ‘Pieces Of String Too Short To Use.’

Why be miserly with humor and inspiration and learning - when you can share what you find here with other people - and never have to pay for it?!

“You don’t have to be a miser, just be wiser with your money.” -Dorethia Conner Kelly

Be sure to tell all of your cheap friends about us . . . and whether you are miserly or not, do not forget to MFOL! (Make Fun Of Life!)

Loneliness And Solitude

If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you are not alone in what you are experiencing . . . and yet, you are alone . . . so very, very alone . . .

“Feeling lonely is fine. Staying this way forever is not.” -Maxime Lagacé

Jered: Why are bananas never lonely?
Derek: Because they hang around in bunches!

“You call it being alone. I call it enjoying my own company.” -Author Unknown
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“One’s need for loneliness is not satisfied if one sits at a table alone. There must be empty chairs as well.” -Karl Kraus (1874 - 1936)

I love tranquil solitude
And such society
As is quiet, wise, and good.
-Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792 - 1822): “Rarely, Rarely, Comest Thou”

“When you have shut your doors and darkened your room, remember never to say that you are alone; for you are not alone, but God is within and your genius is within.” -Epictetus (about C.E. 55 - about C.E. 135): “Discourses,” Book I, chapter 14

“When they are alone they want to be with others, and when they are with others they want to be alone. After all, human beings are like that.” -Gertrude Stein (1874 - 1946)
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“Dear sidewalk, please get wider. Sincerely, third friend walking behind and feeling excluded.” -Author Unknown

“More than any other human problem, loneliness, the absence of meaningful human connection, drains the joy and sense of purpose from our lives. It explains why people go to shopping centers when they have no intention of shopping. They just need to be somewhere where other people are, hoping that among the hundreds of strangers passing by, they will find one familiar face. It explains why people come home from work or school and immediately switch on the television. They are not interested in the program much of the time, they do not even know what is on. But they are desperate for the sound of another human voice in their lives.” -Harold Kushner (Harold Samuel Kushner (born 1935))

“Robinson Crusoe hardly used to the best advantage his glorious chance of solitude, because it pleased him to dine with four companions - a parrot, a dog, and two cats. Worse than this, the parrot could talk!” -Norman Gale: “Solitude” (1913), page 10

How to Deal with Loneliness
- Adopt a pet.
- Go to places where other people go.
- Help others or become a volunteer.
- Keep busy with whatever you can find to do.
- Make friends of strangers.
- Take up a hobby or a cause.
What can you add to this list?

“People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.” -Kim Culbertson: “The Liberation of Max McTrue” (3 January 2012) at https://kimculbertson.com/

“Although I am a typical loner in my daily life, my awareness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice has prevented me from feelings of isolation.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955): “My Credo” (Autumn 1932) speech to the German League of Human Rights, in Berlin, Germany

Picture of a person dressed in a whimsical furry brown dog costume, sitting alone on a bench under green leafy trees in a park, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“If one’s different, one’s bound to be lonely.” -Aldous Huxley (Aldous Leonard Huxley (1894 - 1963))

“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

“I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. A man thinking or working is always alone, let him be where he will . . . The really diligent student in one of the crowded hives of Cambridge College is as solitary as a dervish in the desert. The farmer can work alone in the field or the woods all day, hoeing or chopping, and not feel lonesome, because he is employed . . .” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862): “Walden; or, Life in the Woods” (1854)

“They are never alone that are accompanied with noble thoughts.” -Philip Sidney (1554 - 1586)
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“I like to be alone, but I dislike being lonely.” -Author Unknown

“There is a French proverb: To live happy, live hidden. Where can Brigitte Bardot hide?” -Brigitte Bardot (born 1934)

“I was never less alone than when by myself.” -Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794): “Memoir” (1796), Volume i, page 117

“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.” -C. G. Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961)): “Memories, Dreams and Reflections” (1963), page 356

“A crowd is not company.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): “Essays” (1625), “On Friendship” (1625)

“The pain of loneliness is normal, and is felt by everyone, and is nature’s way of telling us that we are meant to be with others of our own kind.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
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“Loneliness is the way by which destiny endeavors to lead man to himself.” -Hermann Hesse (1877 - 1962): “Reflections” (1974), number 196

“It’s better to walk alone, than with a crowd going in the wrong direction.” -Diane Grant (born 1939)

“Solitude is only comfortable when it’s an option.” -Beverly Bird
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A guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (a one-hundred-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for its house. He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to a restaurant to have a meal. “Would you like to go to Frank’s Diner with me and have a bite to eat?” he asked the centipede in the box. But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, “How about going out and having a snack with me?” But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time - this time putting his face up against the centipede’s house and shouting, he said, “Hey, in there! Would you like to go get some food with me?” A tiny little voice came squeaking out of the box in reply, “I heard you the first time! I’m putting on my shoes.”

“In a world full of people, we are alone.” -Author Unknown

Picture of a of a man sitting on a park bench under shade trees, working on a crossword puzzle in a newspaper, while a large white pelican bird stands on the top of the back of the bench and looks quizzically over his shoulder, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

There are times when you want to be alone - but the world will not let you alone!

“I never said, ‘I want to be alone.’ I only said, ‘I want to be left alone.’ There is all the difference.” -Greta Garbo (Greta Lovisa Gustafsson (1905 - 1990))

“It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” -J. F. Newton (Joseph Fort Newton (1878 - 1949))

“I might be alone, but I’m never lonely.” -Megan Hart
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“You keep a lot to yourself because it’s difficult to find people who understand.” -Author Unknown

“The finest hours of life are not those spent among groups of people, but in good conversation with a few, in reading good books, in listening to great music, wandering in a forest of giant Sequoias, peering into a microscope, unraveling Nature’s secrets in a laboratory. The men who have the most to give their fellow men are those who have enriched their minds and hearts in solitude. It is a poor education that does not fit a man to be alone with himself.” -Joel Henry Hildebrand (1881 - 1983)

“If I’m such a legend, why am I so lonely?” -Judy Garland (pseudonym of Frances Ethel Gumm (1922 - 1969))

“I owe everything that I have done to the fact that I am very much at ease being alone.” -Marilynne Robinson
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“One can acquire everything in solitude - except character.” -Stendhal (pseudonym of Marie-Henri Beyle (1783 - 1842))

“Grant me the ability to be alone, may it be my custom to go outdoors each day among the trees and grasses, among all growing things, and there may I be alone, and enter into prayer to talk with the one that I belong to.” -Nachman of Breslov (1772 - 1810)

“Even in the presence of others he was completely alone.” -Robert M. Pirsig (Robert Maynard Pirsig (born 1928))

“One form of loneliness is to have a memory and no one to share it with.” -Phyllis Rose (born 1942 as Phyllis Davidoff): ‘Hers’ article published in the “New York Times” (3 May 1984) newspaper, Section C, page 2
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“The quiet and solitary man apprehends the inscrutable. He seeks nothing, holds to the mean, and remains free from entanglements.” -I Ching (1150 B.C.E.)

“Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.” -Paul Tournier (1898 - 1986)

“Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone.” -Jarod Kintz (born 1982)
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“City life: Millions of people being lonesome together.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius.” -Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794)

Picture of a sign reading, WHAT KIND OF TRAIN EATS TOO MUCH? A CHEW-CHEW TRAIN. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! SOMEBODY, ANYBODY, PLEASE VISIT ME, ANYTIME. I AM SO LONELY AND I REALLY NEED FRIENDS. -ANGUS IN ANCHORAGE, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“My husband, a forester, often has to consult property owners to determine boundary lines. Walking up a dirt road to question one such individual, he encountered signs reading, ‘No Trespassing,’ ‘Beware of Dog,’ and ‘Keep Out - This Means You!’ Finally, arriving at the door, he talked with the congenial, cooperative landowner. When my husband was ready to leave, the man said to him, ‘Come and see me again sometime. I don’t get many visitors up this way.’ The lesson is simple: Ask yourself, am I lonely because of the ‘messages’ I am sending out?” -Author Unknown

“No greater burden can be borne by an individual than to know none who cares or understands.” -Arthur H. Stainback (Arthur House Stainback (1909 - 1994))

“The truth is that we all know something about loneliness, and that includes even those who might not know what they are feeling when they feel lonely.” -Author Unknown
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“Loneliness is the most terrible poverty.” -Teresa of Calcutta (also known as Mother Teresa (born Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997)))

“The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness.” -Norman Cousins (1915 - 1990)

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“Loneliness is not lack of company, loneliness is lack of purpose.” -Guillermo Maldonado
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“The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone.” -Henrik Ibsen (Henrik Johan ‘Henrik’ Ibsen (1828 - 1906)): “An Enemy of the People” (1882), act 5

“What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans, possibly also known as Marian Evans Cross (1819 - 1880)): “Middlemarch” (1871 - 1872): “Middlemarch” (1871 - 1872), Book V, Chapter XLIV

“The difference between solitude and loneliness is the quality of the company we keep.” -Author Unknown

“He who professes a firm faith, although in solitude, is not alone.” -Berthold Auerbach: “On the Heights” (1865), as translated by Simon Adler Stern. New York: Henry Holt and Company, 1907, page 622
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“Solitude is as needful to the imagination as society is wholesome for the character.” -James Russell Lowell (1819 - 1891): “Among My Books, Dryden”

William Osler (1849 - 1919), visiting one of London’s leading children’s hospitals, noticed that in a convalescent ward all the children were clustered at one end of the room dressing their dolls, playing games, and playing in the sandbox - all except for one little girl, who sat forlornly on the edge of her high, narrow bed, clutching a cheap doll. The great physician looked at the lonely little figure, then at the ward nurse. “We’ve tried to get Susan to play,” the nurse whispered, “but the other children just won’t have anything to do with her. You see, no one comes to see her. Her mother is deceased, and her father has been here just once - he brought her that doll. The children have a strange code. Visitors mean so much. If you don’t have any visitors, you are ignored.” William walked over to the child’s bed and asked in a voice loud enough for the others to hear, “May I sit down, please?” The little girl’s eyes lit up. “I can’t stay very long this visit,” Osler went on, “but I have wanted to see you so badly.” For five minutes he sat talking with her, even inquiring about her doll’s health and solemnly pulling out his stethoscope to listen to the doll’s chest. And as he left, he turned to the youngster and said in a carrying voice, “You won’t forget our secret, will you? - and mind, don’t tell anyone.” At the door he looked back. His new friend was now the center of a curious and admiring throng.

“The worst solitude is to have no real friendships.” -Francis Bacon (1561- 1626)

The words, Choosing To Be Either Solitary Or Social May Not Be A Choice You Will Want To Make When You Can Instead Choose To Be Both And Then Decide How Much Of Each One You Want - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“Learn to enjoy your own company. You are the one person you can count on living with for the rest of your life.” -Ann Richards

“A man thinking or working is always alone.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)
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“The lonely one offers his hand too quickly to whomever he encounters.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“Some people can’t stand being alone. I love solitude and silence. But when I come out of it, I’m a regular talking machine. It’s all or nothing for me.” -Céline Dion (Céline Marie Claudette Dion (born 1968))
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“A wise man is never less alone than when he is alone.” -Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745): “Essay on the Faculties of the Mind”

“Great minds are like eagles and build their nest in some lofty solitude.” -Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860)

“Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.” -Paul Tillich (Paul Johannes Tillich (1886 - 1965)): “The Eternal Now,” page 11

“I remember being alone a lot as a child, and I still love to be alone.” -Cindy Williams (Cynthia Jane ‘Cindy’ Williams (born 1947))
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“Your thought is easily influenced by the presence of another soul; a person can be completely free only when he is alone.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910))

“I restore myself when I’m alone.” -Marilyn Monroe (pseudonym of Norma Jean Mortenson Baker (1926 - 1962))
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“I was never less alone than when by myself.” -Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794): “Memoirs” (1796), Volume I, page 117

“A high degree of loneliness is an inexorable part of being a sensitive and intelligent human. It’s a built-in feature of a complex existence.” -Alain de Botton

“I secretly enjoy being alone - hiking alone, skiing alone, walking along the beach alone, going to movies alone. Do not get me wrong, I like sharing my life with other people, but sometimes I really enjoy being as alone as possible.” -Josh Zuckerman (Joshua Ryan Zuckerman (born 1985))
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“The thing that makes you exceptional, if you are at all, is inevitably that which makes you lonely.” -Lorraine Hansberry

“I only go out to get me a fresh appetite for being alone.” -George Gordon Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (also known as Lord Byron (1788 - 1824)))

“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” -Diane Von Furstenberg

“The price of being a sheep is boredom. The price of being a wolf is loneliness. Choose one or the other with great care.” -Hugh MacLeod
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“Ordinary men hate solitude. But the master makes use of it, embracing his aloneness, realizing he is one with the whole Universe.” -Lao Tzu (about 604 B.C.E. - about 531 B.C.E.)

“I don’t want to be alone, I want to be left alone.” -Audrey Hepburn (Audrey Hepburn-Ruston (1929 - 1993))

“One of the most important things you can do on this Earth is to let people know they are not alone.” -Shannon L. Alder at https://www.shannonalder.com/

“Alternate between the solitary and the social. Whether alone or with others, keep serenity.” -Deng Ming-Dao
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Just as a day is not complete without some fun in it, a trip around the internet is never complete without visiting MFOL! . . .

Actions And Doing

“If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” -Thomas Edison (Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931)): as quoted in Martin E. Ford: “Motivating Humans: Goals, Emotions, and Personal Agency Beliefs” (1992), page 17

“There is nothing worse than being a doer with nothing to do.” -Elizabeth Layton

“Do something, do anything, because often in life, one thing leads to another, and it may be the second thing that the first thing leads to that is definitely worthwhile.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
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“The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009)) at https://www.JimRohn.com

“The undertaking of a new action brings new strength.” -Evenius (42 B.C.E. - C.E. 13)
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“Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t.” -Jerry Rice (Jerry Lee Rice, Senior (born 1962))

“We are built to conquer environment, solve problems, achieve goals; and we find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975): “Psycho-Cybernetics” (1960)

“Whatever you do, do it with all your might. Work at it, early and late, in season and out of season, not leaving a stone unturned, and never deferring for a single hour that which can be done just as well now.” -P. T. Barnum (Phineas Taylor Barnum (1810 - 1891))

“Let us not be content to wait and see what will happen, but give us the determination to make the right things happen.” -Peter Marshall (1902 - 1949)

“There are generations yet unborn whose very lives will be shifted and shaped by the moves you make and the actions you take today.” -Andy Andrews (born 1959): “The Butterfly Effect: How Your Life Matters” (September 2009)
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“We are not put into this world to sit still and know; we are put into it to act.” -Woodrow Wilson (Thomas Woodrow ‘Woodrow’ Wilson (1856 - 1924))

There are three ways to get things done:
1. Do it yourself.
2. Hire someone to do it.
3. Forbid your children to do it.
-Author Unknown

“If you limit your actions in life to things that nobody can possibly find fault with, you will not do much.” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898))

“Whatever you want to do, do it now. There are only so many tomorrows.” -Michael Landon (born Eugene Michael Orowitz (1936 - 1991))
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“The smallest action is better than the largest plan.” -John Graves (John Alexander Graves (1920 - 2013))

“Reality is not the same to the doer as it is to the sayer.” -Haki R. Madhubuti (born 1942 as Don Luther Lee)

“If we are ever in doubt about what to do, it is a good rule to ask ourselves what we shall wish on the morrow that we had done.” -John Lubbock (1834 - 1913)

“‘ACT’ is an acronym standing for ‘Action Changes Things.’” -Author Unknown
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“They can because they think they can.” [translation to English]
“Possunt, quia posse videntur.” [original Latin]
-Publius Vergilius Maro (also known simply as Vergil or Virgil (70 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.)): “Aeneid” (29 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.), Book V, Line 231 (as translated by John Conington)

“Some men have thousands of reasons why they cannot do what they want to, when all they need is one reason why they can.” -Willis Whitney (Willis Rodney Whitney (1868 - 1958))

“Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned.” -Peter Marshall (1902 - 1949)

“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late.” -Marie Beynon Ray (1886 - 1969)

“Doing is better than saying.” -Thomas Draxe (birth year unknown - 1618)

“The price of inaction is far greater than the cost of making a mistake.” -Eckhart von Hochheim (also known as Meister Eckhart (1260 - 1327))
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“If you want a thing done well, do it yourself.” -Author Unknown: proverb

“When we have done our best, we should wait the result in peace.” -John Lubbock (1834 - 1913): “The Pleasures of Life,” volume 1 (1887), chapter II: ‘The Happiness of Duty’

“Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)
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“It is time for us all to stand and cheer for the doer, the achiever - the one who recognizes the challenge and does something about it.” -Vince Lombardi (Vincent Thomas ‘Vince’ Lombardi (1913 - 1970))

“I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts.” -John Locke (1632 - 1704): “Essay Concerning Human Understanding” (1689), Book 1, Chapter 3, section 3

“Never undertake anything for which you wouldn’t have the courage to ask the blessings of Heaven.” -G. C. Lichtenberg (Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799))

Picture of a cartoon character at different steps on a set of stairs, with each step labeled, starting at the bottom step with, I won’t do it, followed by each of the steps going up labelled as, I cannot do it, then I want to do it, then How do I do it?, then I will try to do it, then I can do it, then I will do it, and then the smiling jumping-for-joy character finally arrives at the top of the stairs, which is labelled, Yes, I did it! and finally, the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little. Do what you can.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845): “Elementary Sketches of Moral Philosophy” (1849), Lecture XIX: ‘On the Conduct of the Understanding,’ Part II

“The best time to do a thing is when it can be done.” -William Pickens (1881 - 1954): “Fifty Years after Emancipation” (1912)

“Action is the foundational key to all success.” -Pablo Picasso (Pablo Diego Jose Francisco do Paula Juan Nepomuceno Cipriano de la Santissima Trinidad (1881 - 1971))

“I move forward in my life every day, even if it’s only a tiny step, because I know that great things are accomplished with tiny moves, but nothing is accomplished by standing still.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))
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“Do lovely things, not dream them, all day long.” -Charles Kingsley (1819 - 1875): “Andromeda and Other Poems” (1858), ‘A Farewell to C. E. G.’

“Look around you, and you will behold the universe full of active powers. Action is, so to speak, the genius of nature. By motion and exertion, the system of being is preserved in vigor. By its different parts always acting in subordination one to another, the perfection of the whole is carried on. The heavenly bodies perpetually revolve. Day and night incessantly repeat their appointed course. Continual operations are going on in the earth and in the waters. Nothing stands still. All is alive and stirring throughout the universe. In the midst of this animated and busy scene, is man alone to remain idle in his place? Belongs it to him to be the sole inactive and slothful being in the creation, when in so many various ways he might improve his own nature; might advance the glory of the God who made him; and contribute his part in the general good?” -Hugh Blair (1718 - 1800): as quoted in Josiah Hotchkiss Gilbert: “Dictionary of Burning Words of Brilliant Writers” (1895), page 4

“Actions speak louder than words.” -Author Unknown
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“Many people carry a Can’t Do It List around in their heads as they travel on their journey in life, and it becomes their guide for every decision in their lives and for every moment they are alive and awake. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if that list were transformed into a Possibilities List, or perhaps a Things To Try List?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“What one has, one ought to use: and whatever he does he should do with all his might.” [translation to English]
“Quod est, eo decet uti: et quicquid agas, agere pro viribus.” [Latin]
-Marcus Tullius Cicero (also known as Tully or simply Cicero (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)) : “De Senectute,” IX

“Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity.” -E. H. Chapin (Edwin Hubbell Chapin (1814 - 1880)): as attributed in Charles Northend: “Memory Gems” (1890), page 6

“What you do every day should contribute to giving your life meaning. If it doesn’t, why are you doing it?” -Don Hutcheson (Don ‘Hutch’ Hutcheson)
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“I’m not the type to sit on the porch and watch life go by.” -Sally Rand (born Helen Gould Beck (1904 - 1979))

“Good intentions are not enough. They’ve never put an onion in the soup yet.” -Sonya Levien (born Sara Opesken (1888 - 1960))

“In doing we learn.” -George Herbert (1593 - 1633)

“Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Ecclesiastes,’ chapter 9, verse 10

Throw away your wishbone,
Straighten up your backbone,
Stick out your jawbone,
And go to it!
-Author Unknown
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“If you don’t have time to do it right, you must have time to do it over.” -Author Unknown

“The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are, the more leisure we have.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

Out of the strain of the Doing,
Into the peace of the Done.
-Julia Louise Woodruff (Julia Louise Matilda Woodruff (1832 - 1909)): ‘Harvest Home’ poem published in “Sunday at Home” (1910) magazine

“What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900): “The Crown of Wild Olive” (1866), Lecture IV: ‘The Future of England,’ section 151

“Never mistake motion for action.” -Ernest Hemingway (Ernest Miller Hemingway (1899 - 1961))

“Every living creature that comes into the world has something allotted to him to perform, therefore he should not stand an idle spectator of what others are doing.” -Sarah Kirby Trimmer (1741 - 1810): “Fabulous Histories” (1821)

“The deeds you do today may be the only sermon some people will hear today.” -Francis of Assisi (1181 - 1226)

“The secret of getting things done is to act!” -Dante degli Alighieri (also known as Durante Alighieri or simply Dante (about 1265 - 1321))

“Be content to act, and leave the talking to others.” -Baltasar Gracián (Baltasar Gracián y Morales (1601 - 1658))

“The world is blessed most by men who do things and not by those who merely talk about them.” -James Oliver

“You don’t have to do everything, but you can always do something.” -Malia Blake (Malia T. Blake (born 1965))

“The fact is that in order to do any thing in this world worth doing, we must not stand shivering on the bank thinking of the cold and the danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845): as quoted in Josiah Hotchkiss Gilbert: “Dictionary of Burning Words of Brilliant Writers” (1895), page 6

“It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do.” -Molière (pseudonym of Jean-Baptiste Poquelin (1622 - 1673))

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“Do something. If it doesn’t work, do something else. No idea is too crazy.” -Jim Hightower (James Allen ‘Jim’ Hightower (born 1943))

“Life is too short to sit on the sidelines; it is much more fun to give it your enthusiastic best.” -Bob Apple
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“Unselfish and noble actions are the most radiant pages in the biography of souls.” -David Thomas (1776 - 1859)

“During a very busy life I have often been asked, “How did you manage to do it all?” The answer is very simple. It is because I did everything promptly.” -Richard Tangye (1833 - 1906)

“People who soar, are those who refuse to sit back and wish things would change.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“Deeds, not words.” [translation to English]
“Facta non verba.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.” -W. B. Yeats (William Butler Yeats (1865 - 1939))

“The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows; it is what the man or woman is able to do that the world cares about.” -Booker T. Washington (Booker Taliaferro Washington (1856 - 1915)): “Mind and Matter” (5 June 1895), address to the Alabama State Teachers’ Association, in Selma, Alabama, United States of America

“Acting on a good idea is better than just having a good idea.” -Robert Half (1918 - 2001)
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“Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906 - 1945)

“All the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action.” -James Russell Lowell (1819 - 1891): as quoted in the “North American Review” (July 1867)

“Don’t just stand there, make something happen.” -Lee Iacocca (Lido Anthony ‘Lee’ Iacocca (1924 - 2019))

Affirmation: If it is to be, it is up to me.
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“It has long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.” -Elinor Smith (1911 - 2010)

“Well done is better than well said.” -Author Unknown

“Action makes more fortune than caution.” -Luc DeClapiers (1715 - 1747)
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“Doing little things well is a step toward doing big things better.” -Vincent van Gogh (Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 - 1890))

“The time when you need to do something is when no one else is willing to do it, when people are saying it can’t be done.” -Will Durant (William James ‘Will’ Durant (1885 - 1981))

“The shortest way to do many things at once is to do them one at a time.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“Get good counsel before you begin: and when you have decided, act promptly.” [translation to English]
“Prius quam incipias consulto, et ubi consulueris mature facto opus est.” [original Latin]
-Gaius Sallustius Crispus (also known simply as Sallust (86 B.C.E. - 34 B.C.E.)): “Bellum Catilinae” (about 44 B.C.E.), I
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“Let us turn our ‘To Do Lists’ into ‘All Done Lists.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Do, doing, done!” -Author Unknown

“The greatest things ever done on Earth have been done little by little.” -Thomas Guthrie (1803 - 1873)

“Step by step and the thing is done.” -Charles Atlas (born Angelo Siciliano (1892 - 1972))

“I must lose myself in action, lest I wither in despair.” -Alfred Tennyson (also known as Lord Tennyson (1809 - 1892))

“Action is the antidote to despair.” -Joan Baez (Joan Chandos Baez (born 1941))

“The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.” -Sarah Ban Breathnach (born 1947): “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy” (1995) at http://www.sarahbanbreathnach.com/

“Always say nothing doing to doing nothing.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“Deeds grow into destiny.” -A. L. Linall, Junior
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“Do it. Do it right. Do it right now.” -Author Unknown

“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

“And, having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.” -Enoch A. Bennett (Enoch Arnold Bennett (1867 - 1931)): “How to Live on Twenty-Four Hours a Day” (1910), Chapter 12
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“Action has magic, grace, and power in it.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“So little done, so much to do.” -Cecil Rhodes (1853 - 1902)

“Whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well.” -Philip Dormer Stanhope (also known as Lord Chesterfield (1694 - 1773)): “Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman” (1774), ‘10 March 1746’

“The more things you do, the more you can do.” -Lucille Ball (Lucille Désirée Ball (1911 - 1989))

“In a world where there is so much to be done, I felt strongly impressed that there must be something for me to do.” -Dorothea Dix (Dorothea Lynde Dix (1802 - 1887)): as quoted in Lydia Maria Child: “Letters from New York,” Volume 2 (1845), ‘Letter 31’ (31 December 1844), page 284

We are MFOL! . . . and we must take immediate action to make the world funnier . . .

Affirmations And Self-Talk

Today I will be the best me that I know how to be.

I fill my mind with positive thoughts that create positive outcomes.
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Today, I will concentrate on taking one step forward, however small it might be.

What are affirmations? Affirmations are expressions that can transform your life by influencing the way you think about yourself, others, and the world around you. When you change how you think, you change how you speak and how you act, and the results can be immensely rewarding.
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I know myself better than anyone else does.

“An affirmation is a strong, positive statement that something is already so.” -Shakti Gawain
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Following is the ‘formula’ first used at the clinic of psychologist Émile Coué in Nancy, France. What he called his ‘formula’ was an affirmation, which he prescribed to his patients, to be repeated by them 15 to 20 times in the morning and again in the evening of each day:

“Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” -Émile Coué (Émile Coué de la Châtaigneraie (1857 - 1926)): “How to Practice Suggestion and Autosuggestion” (1923)

A limerick may provide further insight:

On Monsieur Coué

This very remarkable man
Commends a most practical plan:
You can do what you want
If you don’t think you can’t,
So don’t think you can’t - think you can.

By Charles Cuthbert Inge (1868 - 1957): “The Week-end Book” (1928), page 217
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I am intelligent and capable of success in any endeavor which I may choose.
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“As long as you know what it is you desire, then by simply affirming that it is yours - firmly and positively, with no ifs, buts, or maybes - over and over again, from the minute you arise in the morning until the time you go to sleep at night, and as many times during the day as your work or activities permit, you will be drawn to those people, places, and events that will bring your desires to you.” -Scott Reed

I have confidence.
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“The words ‘I am . . .’ are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you’re claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you.” -A. K. Kitselman

New opportunities are calling to me and I am ready to answer the call.
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“Change your thoughts, and you change your world.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993): as quoted in Richard Shea, editor: “The Book of Success” (1993)

Picture of a person’s hand with a thumbs-up gesture and the words, All is well in my world - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

You can create your own affirmations, or select affirmations from those found in this topic that you believe best apply to you and your particular circumstances. Write your affirmations on a piece of paper, and place it where you will be sure to read it daily, as for example, on your car dashboard, on your refrigerator door, or on your bedroom mirror. You could also type affirmations into your cell phone or other device. If you keep a diary or journal, consider challenging yourself to write a new affirmation in it for each day.

“Surround yourself with uplifting words, and let them shape your inner dialogue.” -Author Unknown

What I have done before I can do again, even better.
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I like fresh salads.

“I am optimistic and confident in all that I do. I affirm only the best for myself and others. I am the creator of my life and my world. I meet daily challenges gracefully and with complete confidence. I fill my mind with positive, nurturing, and healing thoughts.” -Alice Potter
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“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief, and once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.” -Claude M. Bristol (Claude Myron Bristol (1891 - 1951)): “The Magic of Believing” (1948)

I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.
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“I am - the two most powerful words in the world, for whatever we put after them becomes our reality.” -Susan Howson

I am worthy of the respect, attention, and love that I receive from others.
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“You are what you think about all day long.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

I feel good about myself.

I have the confidence to try new things.
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“Any thought that is passed on to the subconscious often enough and convincingly enough is finally accepted.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

I am excited that I can create whatever I desire, and I begin right here - right now - with the resources that I have.
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“There is power in your words. Instead of talking about how tired, broke, or depressed you feel, speak about how grateful you are. Shift your focus, and your mindset will follow.” -Author Unknown

I am stronger than everything that happened in the past.
I am stronger than my present circumstances.
I am strong today and will be even stronger tomorrow.
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I am good enough.

Sillhouette of a butterfly, and the words, Words Matter Especially The Ones You Speak To Yourself - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“Affirmations are a form of thought training - training oneself how to think, just as running every day conditions an athlete to compete in a footrace, or studying every day prepares a student for a test.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
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I appreciate and acknowledge the participation and contributions of others.

I love who I am and what I do.
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“Talk to yourself positively all the time. Keep repeating, ‘I can do it! I can do it!’ until your fears disappear.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

I can face my fears and work to overcome them.
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“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

I focus on what I can do right now.
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“What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.” -Robert Collier (1885 - 1950)

“I’m not here to be average, I’m here to be awesome!” -Author Unknown

The ghosts of my past can no longer haunt me.
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I enjoy saving money and investing money.

“I really like who I am.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “Star Trek,” ‘Loud as a Whisper’ (9 January 1989); line of character Geordi Laforge portrayed by actor LeVar Burton

Life is good and getting better.
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“Never say anything about yourself you do not want to come true.” -Author Unknown

“I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.” -Watty Piper (pseudonym of Arnold H. Munk (1886 - 1957)): “The Little Engine That Could” (1930)
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I will remain confident and unaffected by negative attitudes around me.

I am patient with myself.
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I can live my life without knowing all of the answers.

I begin working on tasks the moment the thought of the tasks occurs to me.
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I am at peace with myself and the Universe.

“What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” -Otto Rank (1884 - 1939)
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“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” -attributed to Solomon: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Book of Proverbs,’ chapter 23, verse 7

I feel happiness and joy just from being alive.
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“If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it.” -Author Unknown

“When you engage in positive self-talk, you learn to think like an optimist. As an optimist you will be able to visualize more options and solutions to your problems. Your problem-solving abilities will improve. As an optimist you will be less prone to giving in to defeat.” -Richard B. Rosse
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I am able to relax and maintain good form when around strangers or in unfamiliar situations.

I can help others without expecting them to give me anything in return.
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Picture of a happy smiling young woman looking up at 6 thought bubbles, containing the words, I Can, I Like Me, I Feel Good, I Am As Good As Any, I Trust My Feelings, I Will, and the words, Thoughts Have Power - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“Affirmations provide a way to inoculate against negative thinking.” -Author Unknown

I will live as if my dreams are possible, and work each day to make them happen.
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I am ready to begin moving forward in the direction of what my heart desires.

“Every word you speak and every thought you think is an affirmation for your future.” -Cheryl Richardson at http://www.cherylrichardson.com/
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I speak with confidence and calm assurance.

I like who I am becoming.
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What is self-talk? Self-talk is simply another term for affirmations. You can choose to say affirmations aloud, or say them silently to yourself, or write them on paper or read them.

I always have time for my friends.
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“I am in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017)) at www.LouiseHay.com

“Our minds can shape the way a thing will be because we act according to our expectations.” -Federico Fellini (1920 - 1993)
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I am a good person.

I stay strong mentally and physically by exercising regularly.
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“Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))

I am in charge of my feelings, and today I am choosing happiness.
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I can learn how to live with pain so that I can get what I want from my life.

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” -Brené Brown (Casandra Brené Brown (born 1965)) at www.brenebrown.com
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“My life is my business. I don’t let somebody else run it.” -Author Unknown

I feel great when I go on a walk.
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I am a responsible person.

Picture of a bright multicolored prismatic background and the words, I am amazing just the way I am. My possibilities are endless. With self-confidence, I move forward, stepping into new beginnings. Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“The most influential person who will talk to you all day is you, so you should be very careful about what you say to you!” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))
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I see the best in myself and others.

Today I am planting the seeds of new beginnings.
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Be sure to say your affirmations loud enough so that you yourself can hear them.

I am a friendly person.
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“Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

I am doing pretty good - how can I do better?
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“Be very careful what you say to yourself because someone very important is listening . . . you!” -John Assaraf

I seek new adventures.
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I am too blessed to be stressed!

If we are what we think about, what should we think about?
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“Tomorrow I am going to worry. Today I am going to work.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Watch your manner of speech if you wish to develop a peaceful state of mind. Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented and happy attitudes and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)
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I will imagine the best and focus on that.

“Affirmations are statements going beyond the reality of the present into the creation of the future through the words you use in the now.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017)) at www.LouiseHay.com

I am a good listener.

“Life is a canvas, and your thoughts are the paintbrush. Create a masterpiece of your own reality.” -Author Unknown
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I am divinely guided in all that I do.

I am living in the present moment: the here and now.
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“What we say to ourselves in the privacy of our own minds matters. It drives our behavior, which drives our destiny, which shapes our world.” -Marie Forleo

I can enjoy leisure without guilt and anxiety.

I have everything I need to be successful.
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“An affirmation is simply a positive declaration of something you believe to be true or something you expect to become true and desire to live by. Affirmations transform your thinking, your attitudes, and finally, your behavior. Their impact on attitudes and behavior help to produce the results you desire.” -Paul J. Meyer (Paul James Meyer, Senior (1928 - 2009)) at https://PaulJMeyer.com/

I can handle criticism with ease.
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I alone hold the truth of who I am.

“Say affirmations ‘as if’ they were already a reality.” -Author Unknown

Today I view my childhood without shame.
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“Affirmations are not bound up in rules. An affirmation can be long or short, poetic or plain. If you love a phrase and find that it helps you, that is a valid affirmation.” -Eric Maisel

I am a friend to myself. I love me.
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“You can vitally influence your life from within by auto-suggestion. The first thing each morning, and the last thing each night, suggest to yourself specific ideas that you wish to embody in your character and personality. Address such suggestions to yourself, silently or aloud, until they are deeply impressed upon your mind.” -Grenville Kleiser (1868 - 1953)

I am ready for a fresh start, a new perspective, and an ‘I can do it’ attitude.
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We are MFOL! . . . take the first step . . . and then the next . . . you will go far . . .

Laundry

Hip-hip-hooray . . . for laundry day!

Joshua: What did the washer say to the dryer?
Samuel: “Let’s go for a spin!”

“I wash everything on the gentle cycle. It’s much more humane.” -Author Unknown
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Hugh: Is the washing machine still running?
Bert: The washer can’t run. It doesn’t have legs.

Clothes dryer (klōz drī•yer), noun: An appliance that seems to eat socks, but which may actually be a portal that sends socks into another space-time dimension or a parallel universe from which they never return.
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Clothesline: A sun-and-wind-powered clothes dryer.

“You might think that your clothes are happiest when you are wearing them. But your clothes’ best memories might be of having gone for a spin in the washing machine and then the clothes dryer, enjoying some leisurely time relaxing in your dresser drawers, or just hanging around with the other clothes in your closet.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
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Jenny: What happened when the leopard went to the laundromat?
Jimmy: He came out spotless.

Linus: What is big, gray, and hard to spot?
Lynette: A stain-resistant elephant.
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Picture of two toddlers, a boy and a girl, sitting in a green grassy lawn outdoors, washing fabric pieces in plastic tubs, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Always Read the Label . . . One day, a teenager decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his mother, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?” “It depends,” she replied. “What does it say on your shirt?” He yelled back, “Greendale High School.”

The most common invention of the 19th century was the washing machine. Between 1804 and 1873, at least 1,676 patents were issued by the United States Patent Office for various forms of the appliance.

They That Wash

They that wash on Monday
     Have all the week to dry;
They that wash on Tuesday
     Are not so much awry;
They that wash on Wednesday
     Are not so much to blame;
They that wash on Thursday
     Wash for shame;
They that wash on Friday
     Wash in need;
They that wash on Saturday
     Have lots of clothes indeed.

By Author Unknown
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Laddie: What did one sock say to the other sock in the clothes dryer?
Lassie: I’ll see you the next time around!

A historic moment in laundry: In 1949, the first unattended, 24-hour self-service laundromat ever in the United States of America was opened by Nelson Puett on North Loop in Austin, Texas.
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I·ro·ny (ꞌī-rǝ-nē), adjective: the opposite of wrinkly.

Missy: What happened when the wolf went to the laundromat?
Misty: He became a wash and werewolf.
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Picture of a woman in a laundromat, inside a large clothes dryer, with just her legs sticking out of the clothes dryer door, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes and come out wrinkle-free and two sizes smaller?” -Author Unknown
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The Basic Rules For Clotheslines
- Wash the clotheslines before hanging any clothes - walk the entire length of each line while pulling a damp cloth wrapped around the lines.
- Hang the clothes in the right order, following the instinctual method implanted in your head.
- Never hang a shirt by the shoulders, always by the tail. Otherwise, what would the neighbors think?
- Wash day is Monday. Never hang clothes on the Weekend, or Sunday!
- Hang the sheets and towels on the outside lines so that you can hide your faded, raggedy work clothes in the middle, out of sight of everybody.
- Remember, even in subzero weather, clothes will ‘freeze-dry.’
- Always gather the clothes pins when taking down dry clothes! Pins left on the lines are ‘tacky.’
- If you are efficient, line up the clothes so that each item does not need two clothes pins, but shares one of the clothes pins with the next article on the clothesline.
- Clothes must be off of the line before dinner time, neatly folded in the clothes basket, and ready to be ironed.
- Ironed?! Well, that’s an entirely different topic!

Hamper: A container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothes.

Mount Wash More: What to name that pile of dirty laundry.
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Here’s a tip for cheapskates or folks who live in the great outdoors. You may not want to hang your wet clothes to dry on tree branches or rocks, because they could be dirty or covered with debris. Carry a long piece of string with you. Double it, or fold it in half lengthwise, and then give it a few twists lengthwise. Tie each end to something, such as a tree branch. After your clothes are soaked by rain or after hand washing your clothes in the river or a container, simply insert your clothes anywhere in your string ‘clothes line’ between the twists, which will hold your garments securely in place against breezes and gravity. Clothes pins will be completely unnecessary.

Overheard: It’s laundry day, so I’m taking all my dirty garments down by the river to beat them on a rock.

Picture of drying linens fastened to a clothesline with wooden clothespins, with the branches of green leafy trees in the background, a blue sky with fluffy white clouds above, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Clothes dried outside on clotheslines smell better because of a process called ‘photolysis’ in which sunlight breaks down compounds that cause odor.

“They earned a precarious living by taking in one another’s washing.” -Author Unknown
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“Our laundry has just sent back some buttons with no shirt on them.” -Author Unknown

Paul: Which American state has the most laundry to do?
Harvey: Washington.
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Maude: What should never be aired in public?
Blanche: Dirty laundry.

Considering all the lint in the dryer, if we keep drying our clothes, could they eventually just disappear?
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Never Judge Your Neighbor’s Laundry Skills . . . A young couple moved into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they were eating breakfast, the young woman saw her neighbor hanging laundry outside. “That laundry is not very clean,” she said. “She doesn’t know how to wash. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.” Her husband looked on but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her laundry to dry, the young woman would make the same comments. About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, “Look, she has learned how to wash. I wonder how that happened?” The husband said, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.”

“Give me a laundry list and I’ll set it to music.” -Giocchino Rossini (Gioacchini Antonio Rossini (1792 - 1868))
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Picture of a boy at a washtub washing an article of clothing, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

This Is The Way We Wash Our Clothes

This is the way we wash our clothes,
     Rub-a-dub-dub, rub-a-dub-dub;
See them getting clean and white,
     Rub-a-dub-dub, rub-a-dub-dub;

This is the way we hang them out,
     Flippity-flap, flippity-flap;
See them blowing in the wind,
     Flippity-flap, flippity-flap;

This is the way we iron them flat,
     Smooth as can be, smooth as can be;
Soon our wash day will be done,
     And nice clean clothes for you and me.

By Author Unknown: can be sung to the same tune as that of the song, “Here We Go ’Round the Mulberry Bush”
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Diane: What is loads and loads of fun?
Mandy: Laundry!

Jeb: Do you know any laundry jokes?
Ben: I have loads of them!

“Every laundry pile is conquered one load at a time.” -Author Unknown
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Laundry, noun: 1. Clothes and linens in need of washing or that have been newly washed. 2. A room in a house, hotel, or other building in which clothes and linens can be washed, dried, ironed, folded, and so forth.

George: What do you call doing 6,000 pounds of laundry?
Martha: Washing tons!

A large-mouthed plastic bottle can be a washing machine. Simply fill it with water, detergent or soap, and an article of clothing. Put the lid on tight, and shake and shake the bottle. Pour out the sudsy water, pour in some new water, recap the bottle, and shake some more. Repeat as necessary to remove suds, then remove the article of clothing, squeeze or ring out the water if desired, and hang it on a clothesline to dry.

Picture of a woman standing under green leafy trees by a river, removing linens from a clothesline and placing them in a wicker basket, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

National Laundry Day is observed on 15 April in the United States of America, to remind each one of us of the importance of laundry in our lives. Best regards to all on this day, and may you enjoy peace, happiness, and clean laundry.

“The consciousness of clean linen is in and of itself a source of moral strength, second only to that of a clean conscience. A well-ironed collar or a fresh glove has carried many a man through an emergency in which a wrinkle or a rip would have defeated him.” -Elizabeth Stuart Phelps: as quoted in Orison Swett Marden: “Pushing to the Front” (1894), chapter XV: ‘What a Good Appearance Will Do’

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Clothes.
Clothes, who?
Clothes the lid or the washing machine won’t start!
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We are MFOL! . . . and lately we have become picky about lint . . .

Smiles And Smiling

“If you want people to like you, smile!” -Author Unknown

“A smile is a friend maker.” -Bangambiki Habyarimana
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“I have never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.” -Author Unknown

“Smile - happy looks good on you!” -Author Unknown
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“Sometimes just a smile on our face can help to make this world a better place.” -Robert Alan Aurthur (1922 - 1978)

“Smiling is a great way to look your best.” -Author Unknown
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“Smiles are such a simple thing to give but means so much to many.” -Tony Curl

“If I had a flower for every time you made me smile, I’d be walking in an endless garden.” -Author Unknown
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“It was only a sunny smile and little it cost in the giving but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)): “The Great Gatsby” (10 April 1925)

“I add a smile to everything I wear and that has worked great for me.” -David White (1916 - 1990)
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“I like to smile. I smile even when I’m nervous since it calms me down and shows my friendliness.” -Yani Tseng

“If you smile at someone, they might smile back.” -Author Unknown
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“Share your smile with the world. It’s a symbol of friendship and peace.” -Christie Brinkley

Smile

I gave away my smile
     to the girl across the street.
She gave it to her brother
     as they sat down to eat.
Her brother gave it to their Mom,
     she wore it for a day.
Then gave it to another girl
     whose name was Paula Kay.
Paula took her smile outside
     and stood next to a tree.
She put her hands upon her hips
     then gave it back to me.

By Author Unknown
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“Be the reason someone smiles today.” -Author Unknown

“A smile can brighten someone’s day without using a penny’s worth of electricity.” -Author Unknown
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“A smile is the shortest distance between two people.” -Victor Borge (1909 - 2000)

“I smile because I do not know what in the world is going on.” -Author Unknown
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“A smile doesn’t always stand for a perfect life.” -Faraaz Kazi

“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.” -Phyllis Diller (pseudonym of Phyllis Ada Driver (1917 - 2012)): as quoted in Joel Goodman: “Laffirmations” (1 April 1995)

Worry less,
     Smile more,
Don’t regret,
     Just learn and grow!
-Author Unknown
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“A smile is a frown turned upside down.” -Author Unknown

“Smiling is the best way to face every problem, to crush every fear, and to hide every pain.” -Author Unknown
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“I really don’t know how to smile. Is there someplace I could get lessons, like a school or a seminar?” -Author Unknown

“If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.” -Author Unknown
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The Smile

I had an extra smile
     When I left the house today
I thought I’d give it to someone
     I passed along the way.
I tried to give the smile away
     But incredibly
Each time I gave it to someone
     They’d give it back to me.
So now I have a bunch of smiles,
     What am I to do?
I think I’ll keep a couple
     And then give the rest to you!

By Author Unknown

“A smile is an act of kindness.” -A. D. Williams (Anthony Douglas Williams)
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“A smile appeared upon her face as if she’d taken it directly from her handbag and pinned it there.” -Loma Chandler

“A smile is something you can’t give away; it always comes back to you.” -Author Unknown
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“Sometimes it’s hard to force a smile, but sometimes we have to; it’s what gets us through the hard times.” -Author Unknown

World Smile Day is celebrated annually on the first Friday in October. The holiday was started by Harvey Ball of Worcester, Massachusetts, United States of America, and first observed in 1999. He is also known as the creator, in 1963, of the smiley face symbol.

“A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.” -Charles Gordy (1871 - 1944)
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“Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.” -Teresa of Calcutta (also known as Mother Teresa (born Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997)))

“You want to know who’s got the most amazing and beautiful smile ever - read the first word of this sentence again!” -Author Unknown
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“A smile is the best makeup a girl can wear.” -Marilyn Monroe (pseudonym of Norma Jean Mortenson (1926 - 1962))

“Always smile back at little children . . . to ignore them is to destroy their belief that the world is good.” -Pam Brown (Pamela Jane Barclay Brown (born 1948))
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“People are not perfect - except when they smile.” -Author Unknown

“Is a smile a question? Or is it the answer?” -Lee Smith
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“You’ll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile.” -Charlie Chaplin (Charles Spencer ‘Charlie’ Chaplin (1889 - 1977))

“No smile is as beautiful as the one that struggles through tears.” -Author Unknown

“Smiling doesn’t necessarily mean you’re happy. Sometimes, it just means you’re strong.” -Author Unknown
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“Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody’s heart.” -Anthony J. D’Angelo

“The world always looks better from behind a smile.” -Author Unknown
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Picture of a happy smiling man standing in front of a white picket fence and beside a small tree with green leaves and orange flowers, and the words, If You Didn’t Start The Day Out With A Smile, It’s Not Too Late To Start Practicing For Tomorrow - David A. Boyd - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

As we all know, not enough smiling is going on in the world today . . . so remember to smile as often as possible!

“Smiles are great investments; the more you collect, the better you feel.” -Author Unknown

“Let your smile change the world; don’t let the world change your smile.” -Author Unknown
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“A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“I would walk miles for one of your smiles.” -Author Unknown
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“Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.” -Thich Nhat Hanh

“It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three muscles to frown.” -Author Unknown
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“A smile is the lighting system of the face, the cooling system of the head, and the heating system of the heart.” -Author Unknown

“Smiling is my favorite exercise.” -Author Unknown
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“To receive a smile, give one away!” -Author Unknown

“If you will force yourself to smile, you’ll end up laughing. You will be cheerful because you smile. Repeated experiments have shown that when a person assumes the facial expression of a given mental mood - any given mood - then that mental mood itself will follow.” -Kenneth Goode
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“When you smile you don’t only appear to be more likable and courteous, you appear to be more competent.” -Ron Gutman

“After six years without seeing one, I love just seeing a smile - every smile I see gives me hope.” -Íngrid Betancourt (Íngrid Betancourt Pulecio (born 1961))
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“Lose your smile and lose your customers.” -Sam Walton (Samuel Moore ‘Sam’ Walton (1918 - 1992))

“A smile is the universal welcome.” -Max Eastman (1883 - 1969)
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“A smile confuses an approaching frown.” -Author Unknown

“Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there is so much to smile about.” -Marilyn Monroe (pseudonym of Norma Jean Mortenson (1926 - 1962))
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“A smile is worth much more than it costs.” -Author Unknown

“A smile makes you feel good, and when you feel good, good things happen.” -Terri Lynn
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“Smile! It increases your face value.” -Robert Harling (Robert M. Harling III (born 1951)): “Steel Magnolias” (5 November 1989)

“A smile on your face will do wonders for your appearance. It will give you youthfulness and optimism that beauty treatments or counseling sessions never could.” -Author Unknown
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“Smiling is good for you and it is good for the people around you.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Smile. The sunshine of your smile might chase the clouds from someone’s life today. It may be the ray of sunshine that someone needs in an otherwise stormy day.” -Author Unknown
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“A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.” -Denis Waitley (Denis Edwin Waitley, Senior (born 1933)) at https://deniswaitley.com/

“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” -Teresa of Calcutta (also known as Mother Teresa (born Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997)))

Smile

It comforts the weary, gladdens the sad
     consoles those in trouble, good or bad.
To rich and poor, beggar or thief,
     it’s free to all of any belief.
A natural gesture of young and old
     cheers on the faint, disarms the bold.
Unlike most blessings for which we pray,
     it’s the only thing we keep when we give it away.

By Author Unknown
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“Nobody needs a smile so much as the one who has none to give. So get used to smiling heart-warming smiles, and you will spread sunshine in a sometimes dreary world.” -Lawrence G. Lovasik (Lawrence George Lovasik (1913 - 1986))

“Most smiles are started by another smile.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))

Ten Reasons To Smile

1. It makes you attractive
2. It changes your mood.
3. It is contagious.
4. It relieves stress.
5. It boosts your immune system.
6. It lowers your blood pressure.
7. It releases endorphins.
8. It lifts the face and makes you appear younger.
9. It makes you seem successful.
10. It helps you stay positive.

By Author Unknown

“Learn to smile at every situation. See it as an opportunity to prove your strength and ability.” -Joe Brown
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“Smile, for everyone lacks self-confidence and more than any other one thing a smile reassures them.” -André Maurois (pseudonym of Émile Salomon Wilhelm Herzog (1885 - 1967))

“Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.” -Author Unknown, as quoted in H. Jackson Brown (Horace Jackson Brown, Junior (1940 - 2021)): “P.S. I Love You” (1990)

“Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.” -Jim Beggs
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“A smile can brighten the darkest day.” -Author Unknown

“We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.” -Teresa of Calcutta (also known as Mother Teresa (born Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997)))

“Everywhere you go, take a smile with you.” -Sasha Azevedo (Sasha Jade Azevedo (born 1978))
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“What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life’s pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719)

“I love those who can smile in trouble.” -Leonardo da Vinci (Leonardo di ser Piero da Vinci (1452 - 1519))

Smile and forgive;
It’s the only way to live.
-Author Unknown
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“Smiles are the foundation of beauty.” -Edgar Rice Burroughs (1875 - 1950): “Tarzan of the Apes” (1912), Chapter 20

“Smile, it changes everything!” -Author Unknown

“Just because a person smiles all the time, doesn’t mean their life is perfect. That smile is a symbol of hope and strength.” -Lauryn Hill (Lauryn Noelle Hill (born 1975))
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“If you don’t have a smile, I’ll give you one of mine.” -Author Unknown

Lost Your Smile?

You haven’t lost your smile,
     It’s been around all the while,
Just waiting for the word,
     That smiling’s back in style!

By David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
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“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.” -Greta Garbo

“A smile of encouragement at the right moment may act like sunlight on a closed up flower; it may be the turning point for a struggling life.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“Smiling makes you and the people around you happy.” -Anna Everitt: “How to Make Friends Anywhere” (3 April 2020)

“May you always find a reason to smile.” -Author Unknown
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“Just smiling at someone walking down the street can make the person’s day. It’s all about paying it forward.” -Mariska Hargitay

“Did you make someone smile today? You’ve still got time.” -Melissa Stewart

“A smile is one the sweetest and most helpful ministries of kindness that every one of us has in his power to give to the world.” -Eliza Riley
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“In came Mrs. Fezziwig, one vast substantial smile.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870)): “A Christmas Carol” (1843), Stave 2

“A smile can be a way to show that you mean no harm and want to get along with others, even when language barriers make clear communication difficult.” -Author Unknown

“A smile gives your face something to do and it is good exercise and makes you look better.” -Author Unknown
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“Everyone smiles in the same language.” -George Carlin (George Denis Patrick Carlin (1937 - 2008))

“We do not smile because something good has happened; rather something good happens because we smile.” -Author Unknown

“Anyone can smile on their best day. I like to meet a man who can smile on his worst.” -Lauren Graham (Lauren Helen Graham (born 1967)): “Someday, Someday, Maybe” (30 April 2013)
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“While enormous strides have been made in recent years, there’s still a lot to be said for a smile.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980))

“They might not need me; but they might. I’ll let my head be just in sight; a smile as small as mine might be precisely their necessity.” -Emily Dickinson (Emily Elizabeth Dickinson (1830 - 1886))

“Smile, it’s the easiest way to improve your day.” -Author Unknown
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“Smile, even when life does not present reasons for doing so, because your smile is a reason for many others to smile.” -Author Unknown

“Smile at strangers, and you just might change a life.” -Steve Maraboli (born 1975) at https://stevemaraboli.net/

“‘SMILE’ is an acronym for, ‘See Miracles In Life Everyday.’” -Author Unknown
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“When things are difficult, smile by faith. Don’t wait until you feel better.” -Joel Osteen (born 1963)

“I just like to smile. Smiling’s my favorite.” -David Bernebaum (David Alan Bernebaum (born 1970)): “Buddy the Elf” (7 November 2003), words of character Buddy the Elf (portrayed by John William ‘Will’ Ferrell (born 1967))

“Make it a regular habit to smile - and watch as miracles begin to happen all around you.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
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You look amazing when you smile . . . you should do that more often . . . now back to further humor and inspiration and learning . . . on MFOL!

Shoes And Footwear

Picture of a man, shown with just his black trouser legs and black oxford dress shoes, and the words, Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Shoes And Footwear Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Overheard: “I have enough shoes.”

The earliest known footwear is a pair of sandals that date back to about 7,000 B.C.E. However, anatomical analysis of early humans seems to indicate that we may have begun wearing shoes as early as 40,000 years ago. Before then, we ran around barefoot and ate rocks. What’s that . . . oh, apparently, early humans did not eat rocks . . . just wild plants, raw meat, and bugs. Aren’t you glad you wear shoes?

Dustin: Do your shoes have holes in them?
Austin: No.
Dustin: Then how did you get your feet into them?

“My mom would take me to restaurants, and the first thing I’d ask for would be a pen and a napkin, and I’d sketch shoes and shoes and shoes.” -Alexander Wang
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Shoe store sign: Limited Time Offer - Buy Two Shoes - And Get A Third Shoe Absolutely Free!

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
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“I am reminded of a piece of advice my father gave me regarding shoes . . . He said it is better to buy one good pair of shoes than four cheap ones. One pair made of fine leather could outlast four inferior pairs and, if well-cared-for, would continue to proclaim your good judgement and taste no matter how old they become.” -Cary Grant (pseudonym of Archibald Alexander Leach (1904 - 1986))

Edith: Who always goes to bed wearing shoes?
Edna: A horse, of course.
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Shoes all over the world were identical until 1822, when left-footed and right-footed shoes were made for the first time in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States of America.

“To each foot its own shoe.” [translation to English]
“A chaque pied son soulier.” [original French]
-Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)): “Essais” (English: “Essays”), Book III, Chapter XIII

Sonya: Why did the two shoes not get along?
Sonny: Because they both thought they were ‘right.’

“The human history is the history of shoes. The history of places where we ever tread and stand.” -Stebby Julionatan
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If the shoe fits, it must be some kind of trick - don’t be fooled!

Overheard: Your shoes certainly make you look ‘well-heeled’!
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The boots Neil Armstrong wore when he walked on the Moon are still floating around somewhere in outer space. He had to leave his boots there so that he could bring as many Moon rocks as possible back to Earth.

Buckle shoes, bow shoes,
     Pretty pointy-toe shoes,
Strappy, cappy low shoes;
     Let’s have some to try.
-Frida Wolfe: “Choosing Shoes”
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If the shoe fits, buy a pair in every color.

“Good shoes take you good places.” -Seo Min Hyun
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Sabrina: What runs around all day and then lies on the floor with its tongue hanging out?
Katrina: A shoe.

In the silent movie, “The Gold Rush” (August 1925), comedic actor Charlie Chaplin actually ate his shoe. He portrayed his signature character, ‘The Tramp’ as a gold prospector who was trapped in a cabin during a snowstorm. Starving, he decided to boil his boot and eat the laces like spaghetti. Fortunately for Mr. Chaplin’s digestive system, the shoe used in the movie was made of licorice candy provided by the American Licorice Company.
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“When it comes to wearing socks with sandals, if it works for you, you should definitely do it, and other people need to learn to mind their own business in matters of casual footwear.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))

“It is totally impossible to be well-dressed in cheap shoes.” -Hardy Amies (Edwin Hardy ‘Hardy’ Amies (1909 - 2003))
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Tutor: Can you name at least six things you can wear on your feet that begin with the letter ‘s’?
Student: Sandals, shoes, skates, skis, slippers, sneakers, snowshoes, socks, stilts, and stockings.

“Flip-flops make your toes feel like they’re on vacation.” -Suzy Toronto at suzytoronto.com

Many years ago, two salesmen were sent by a shoe manufacturer to visit the people living in a faraway land, to investigate and report on market potential. The first salesman reported back, “There is no potential here - nobody wears shoes.” The second salesman reported back, “There is massive potential here - nobody wears shoes.”
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If the shoe fits your foot, it will not fit your budget.

Ida: What has a tongue but cannot speak?
Emma: A shoe.

“Give a girl the right pair of shoes and she’ll conquer the world.” -Marilyn Monroe (pseudonym of Norma Jean Mortenson Baker (1926 - 1962))

Joe’s Shoes

The shoes of old Eskimo Joe
Fell apart as he walked in the snow.
     “Have you needle and thread?”
     I enquired, but he said,
“No, igloo them, not sew them, you know.”

By Author Unknown
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“If your shoes do not fit properly, it does not mean there is something wrong with your feet; it just means you need a different pair of shoes. Likewise, if something about your living situation is uncomfortable, it does not mean there is something wrong with you; it means you need a different living situation. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“A man can walk without shoes, but shoes can’t walk without a man.” -George Daly
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Shoes And Footwear Facts
- The bottom of a shoe that touches the ground is called the ‘sole.’
- The edge around the opening of a shoe is called the ‘collar.’
- The holes in shoes that laces are fed through are called ‘eyelets.’
- The part of a shoe above the sole is called the ‘upper.’
- The plastic casings on the ends of shoelaces that prevent them from unraveling are called ‘aglets.’
- The tongue of a shoe will not lick your feet.

Suggested title for a new television series: “Have Shoes, Will Travel: Tales of a Time-Traveling Shoe Salesman.”
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Who is worse shod, than the shoemaker’s wife,
With shops full of shoes all her life?
-Author Unknown: as quoted in John Heywood (about 1497 - 1580): “The Proverbs of John Heywood” (1546), Part I, chapter 11

Squeakers: Shoes that mice wear.
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Gregory: Who wears two pairs of shoes, both at the same time?
Geoffrey: Mules - as do horses, ponies, and mammoth donkeys kept for riding.

“The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.” -C. G. Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961)): “Modern Man in Search of a Soul” (1933)

“You cannot put the same shoe on every foot.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): “Maxims,” 596

A typical pair of casual shoes will last for about 500 miles of walking.
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If the shoe fits, you are asleep and having a dream about shoes.

This just in: There is more to life than shoes - we are kidding, of course!
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“I just rescued a pair of shoes. They were trapped in a store.” -Author Unknown

Melody: What is made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
Clarabelle: A shoe.

If the shoe fits, it must be some kind of magical shoe.
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“A handsome shoe often pinches the foot.” -Author Unknown

“Never buy shoes early in the day when your feet are their smallest.” -Frances Stein (Frances Patiky Stein (1937 - 2021))
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The best time to buy shoes is when you are cranky and tired from walking and standing around all day, say for example, after work or school. This is because your feet are likely to be at their largest at this time of the day. That is right, your feet change in size throughout the day. It is shocking, we know. In the morning, you arise with your feet well-rested, but as the day progresses, you put a lot of pressure on your feet, causing them to spread out and swell up. If you try on shoes at the start of the day, well, that is when your feet are small, and if you were to continue to wear that same pair of shoes all day long, by the end of the day, your feet would not be happy, because they will be crammed into shoes that are too tiny.
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Maxwell: Why do cobblers (shoemakers) go to Heaven?
Maxine: Because they have good soles.

“It’s not so much about the shoes, but the person wearing them.” -Adriana Trigiani

People who make or repair shoes are called cobblers or shoemakers. What are you doing? I’m cobbling together a pair of shoes!
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Shoes and Footwear Quiz
- Describe the perfect pair of shoes.
- In what types of jobs do people need steel-toed boots or shoes?
- What are aglets and what is their purpose?
- What are arch supports?
- What are sensible shoes?
- What features should a person look for in a shoe?
- What is a padded collar on a shoe?
- What items make up a shoeshine kit?
- Which of the following shoe toe shapes is best for your feet: pointed, squared, or rounded?

Otis: What does a shoemaker use to repair shoes?
Otto: Toe-nails.

Picture of a green grassy area with several pairs of shoes arranged in a circle, with the toes facing toward the center of the circle, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Presto: What results from wearing tight shoes.
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A man walked into a shoe store, and tried on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asked the sales clerk. “Well . . . they feel a bit tight,” replied the man. The assistant bent down and looked at the shoes and the man’s feet. “Try pulling out on the tongue,” offered the clerk. “Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth,” the man said.

“If the shoe fits, it’s too expensive.” -Adrienne Gusoff (Adrienne E. Gusoff)
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Who is worse shod, than the shoemaker’s wife,
With shops full of shoes all her life?
[translation to Contemporary English]
Who is wurs shod, than the shoemakers wyfe,
With shops full of shoes all hir lyfe?
[original Early Modern English]
-Author Unknown: as quoted in John Heywood (about 1497 - about 1580): “A Dialogue of Proverbs” (1546), Part I, chapter 11

A man walked into a shoe store and asked for a pair of shoes in size eight. The well-trained salesman said, “But sir, you need an eleven or an eleven-and-a-half.” “Just bring me a size eight,” the man said. The sales guy brought them out and the man stuffed his feet into them and stood up in obvious pain. He turned to the salesman and said, “I’ll take them. You see, I have lost my house to the tax collector, I live with my mother-in-law, my daughter ran off with her no-account boyfriend, and my business has filed for bankruptcy. The only pleasure I have left is at the end of the day when I go home and take my shoes off.”

“If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear shoes that are too tight.” -Author Unknown: “The Houghton Line” (November 1965)
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“I have tennis shoes with little rhinestones that I slip on if I exercise. But I always wear heels, even around the house. I’m such a short little thing, I can’t reach my kitchen cabinets.” -Dolly Parton (Dolly Rebecca Parton (born 1946))

“Sure, I may walk around as if everything is fine . . . but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. I think that my shoe is trying to eat my sock, and that is a scary thought.” -Author Unknown
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Darlene: What did the shoe say to the gum?
Darla: “Stick with me and we’ll go places!”
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If the shoe fits, it’s obviously on somebody else’s foot.

Many people do not know that feet can increase by one-and-a-half shoe sizes or more throughout their lifetimes. A person’s feet can flatten and spread out as he or she ages, causing a permanent increase in both length and width. Additionally, changes in weight, surgery, amount of time spent standing and walking on the feet, lifting and moving heavy items all day long and other physical exertion at work and in play, and pregnancy, can cause foot size to increase. You may want to consider this the next time you go shoe shopping, especially if you are torturing yourself by trying to wear the same shoe size now that you wore years ago as a teenager or young adult. Try on slightly larger size shoes in slightly wider widths, perhaps with more toe room. Your feet will thank you!

“I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside, ‘Made around the corner.’” -Frank Carson (Hugh Francis ‘Frank’ Carson (1926 - 2012))
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Shoes called sneakers were first produced in about 1800. They had a simple rubber sole design, with the name ‘sneaker’ coming from the fact that their soles are so smooth and yielding that they hardly make a sound on the ground.

Hubert: What kind of shoes do detectives wear?
Hugh: Sneakers!

Another name for a detective is a ‘gumshoe,’ because detectives have traditionally worn soft-soled shoes.

If the shoe fits, buy it.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pear.
Pear, who?
Pear of shoes!
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“I actually have more shoes than anyone will ever know.” -Tamara Mellon

Shoestring: What every self-made businessperson claims to have built their business on.
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You can tell a lot about a person’s character by the shoes he or she wears.

Need money? How about this zany idea: Become a ‘shoe reading’ expert. People come to you, you look at their shoes, you tell them what their shoes reveal about them, and you then advise them on what kind of shoes to buy if they want people to have a different opinion of them based on their shoes. This idea makes a lot more sense than palm reading and other methods of ‘fortune telling.’

Overheard: So many shoes . . . and only two feet!
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“Your shoes are only as good as the laces they’re attached to.” -Greg Sampson

Al: What goes, “Thump, thump, thump, squish! Thump, thump, thump, squish!”?
Fred: An elephant wearing a soggy tennis shoe.
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Norma: Why did the shoelaces arrive late at the party?
Nora: Because they got all tied up earlier.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe . . . rumor has it that it once belonged to a giant who lived at the top of a beanstalk . . . the old woman was ambling along, looking for affordable housing in a safe neighborhood for herself and her children, when all of a sudden, a really big shoe dropped out of the sky. Aren’t fairy tales fun?
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Emma: What is sixty feet long, green, and has two tongues?
Emily: The Jolly Green Giant’s sneakers!

If the shoe fits, buy the store.
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“It doesn’t matter how great your shoes are if you don’t accomplish anything in them.” -Martina Boon

“I stand corrected!” said the man in the orthopedic shoes.
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“Shoes transform your body language and attitude. They lift you physically and emotionally.” -Christian Louboutin

I was not made of common calf,
Nor ever meant for country loon;
If with an axe I seem cut out,
The workman was no cobbling clown;
A good jack boot with double sole he made,
To roam the woods, or through the rivers wade.
-Giuseppe Giusti: “The Chronicle of the Boot”
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Shoe store sign: This Week’s Special - Buy One Shoe - Get Second Shoe Free!

The ‘boat shoe’ was invented by Paul Sperry. He modeled the sole of the shoe after his dog’s paw.
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Ernie: What did one shoe say to the other shoe?
Bernie: “You stay here, and I’ll go on ahead to see what’s underfoot.”

“You can never take too much care over the choice of your shoes.” -Christian Dior at https://dior.com/
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Geoffrey: What has no feet but wears out shoes?
George: A sidewalk.

Wherefore art not in thy shop to-day?
Why dost thou lead these men about the streets?
Truly, sir, to wear out their shoes, to get myself into more work.
-William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Julius Caesar” (1599), Act I, scene 1, line 31

“The shoemaker’s son always goes barefoot.” -Author Unknown
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If the shoe fits, it is too good to be true.

“Shoes divide men into three classes. Some men wear their father’s shoes. They make no decisions of their own. Some are unthinkingly shod by the crowd. The strong man is his own cobbler. He insists on making his own choices. He walks in his own shoes.” -S. D. Gordon (Samuel Dickey Gordon (1859 - 1936))
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Hans Grovendraad, an honest clown,
By cobbling in his native town,
Had earned a living ever.
His work was strong and clean and fine,
And none who served at Crispin’s shrine
Was at his trade more clever.
-Jan van Ryswick: “Hans Grovendraad,” as translated from the French by F. W. Ricord
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Here’s a great title for a song: “I’ve Got the Squeaky Shoes Blues, Yeah!” Now we just need you to write the lyrics, or words, to go along with the song title.

“Shoes speak louder than words.” -Author Unknown
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“Shoes squeak louder than words.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
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Moses: What kind of shoes are made from banana skins?
Moe: Slippers!

“All of the right shoes can take you to all of the right places in life. They don’t need to be flashy or show-offish, but the right kinds for the right places.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“You have to have the right shoes for the occasion.” -Suzanne Macpherson

“Between saying and doing many a pair of shoes is worn out.” -Author Unknown: Italian proverb
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One way to determine if shoes are a good fit is to wiggle your toes. If the shoes are roomy enough for you to wiggle your toes, that means your toes are less likely to be squeezed together in a space that is too tight for them, at which time they would cry for help the only way they know how, which is by sending pain signals to your brain.

“I played [baseball] in a new pair of shoes one day and they wore big blisters on my feet. The next day we came up short of players, a couple of men hurt and one missing . . . I tried it with my old shoes on and just couldn’t make it. He told me I’d have to play anyway, so I threw away the shoes and went to the outfield in my stockinged feet . . . They picked it up and started calling me Shoeless Joe all around the league, and it stuck. I never played the outfield barefoot, and that was the only day I ever played in my stockinged feet, but it stuck with me.” -Shoeless Joe Jackson: “This is the Truth!” (1949)

“Feet-casements, noun: Boots or shoes: see Trotter-cases.” -John S. Farmer and W. W. Henley: “Slang and Its Analogues: A Dictionary of Heterodox Speech” (1890’s)

If the shoe fits, you have somehow been magically transported to a fairy tale land.
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Customer: Do you have alligator shoes?
Clerk: Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?

“Which shoes are you going to put on, and where are you going to get them to take you today?” -Allan Rufus

Riddle:
I run over fields and woods all day;
Under a bed at night, I wait not alone
With long tongue hanging out,
I will be filled in the morn.
What am I?
Solution:
I am a shoe.

If the shoe fits, you are daydreaming again . . . time to get back to work.

City Slicker: How far is it to Springerville?
Country Bumpkin: Well, I don’t rightly know, but I’ll ask Jethro. He’ll know. Jethro’s traveled all over. He’s got shoes!

“My first thought upon entering any store is, ‘Where are the shoes?’” -Author Unknown
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“If the shoe fits, you’re not allowing for growth.” -Robert N. Coons (Robert Nelson ‘Bob’ Coons (1944 - 2022))

Justin: Those shoes are too big.
Marvin: Have you thought about growing your feet larger?

“Shoes aren’t for sitting petty in, shoes are made for walking in.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
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“All you really need is the right pair of shoes.” -Author Unknown

“To wear dreams on one’s feet is to begin to give a reality to one’s dreams.” -Roger Vivier
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“Life is a journey. Wear comfortable shoes.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Put on your shoes and go take on the world.” -Author Unknown
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We are MFOL! . . . and that’s everything we have cobbled together about shoes . . . What’s that? . . . Our shoes are calling to us . . . seems they want to go out walking . . . maybe we will see you out there . . .

Impossible And Possible

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“I’ve always had the feeling that nothing is impossible if one applies a certain amount of energy in the right direction. If you want to do it, you can do it.” -Nellie Bly (pseudonym of Elizabeth Cochrane Seaman (1864 - 1922))

“Impossible things are simply those which so far have never been done.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“You can’t pick a lock with a pickle, you can’t cure the sick with a sickle, pluck figs with a figment, drive pigs with a pigment, nor make your watch tick with a tickle. You can’t slacken your gait with a gaiter, you can’t get a crate with a crater, catch moles with a molar, or bake rolls with a roller. But you can get a wait from a waiter.” -Author Unknown

“Never let the word ‘impossible’ stop you from pursuing what your heart and spirit urge you to do. Impossible things come true every day.” -Robert Cooper
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“Discard the word ‘impossible,’ and then you can live the amazing life you were always meant to live.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If they say, ‘It’s impossible,’ they mean it is for them, not for you.” -Author Unknown

“Impossibilities are merely things which we have not yet learned.” -Charles W. Chesnutt (Charles Waddell Chesnutt (1858 - 1932))

“The faith and belief that something can be done is more important than the knowledge of how to do it, because when we believe something can be done, by persistence and trying, we will find the way to do it.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
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“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” -Vince Lombardi (Vincent Thomas ‘Vince’ Lombardi (1913 - 1970))

“What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are.” -Tony Robbins (Anthony Jay ‘Tony’ Robbins (born 1960)) at https://www.tonyrobbins.com/

“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.” -Author Unknown
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“I’m always doing what I cannot do yet, in order to learn how to do it.” -Vincent van Gogh (Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 - 1890)): letter (1885) to Anthon van Rappard

“Only he who can see the invisible can do the impossible.” -Frank Gaines

“When work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible.” -Nancy Coey
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“Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.” -Doug Larson (Douglas Lincoln ‘Doug’ Larson (1926 - 2017))

“If you develop the absolute sense of certainty that powerful beliefs provide, then you can get yourself to accomplish virtually anything, including those things that other people are certain are impossible.” -William Lyon Phelps (William Lyon ‘Billy’ Phelps (1865 - 1943))

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“I believe anything is possible. Research into quantum physics proves that a system changes simply by someone observing it. Therefore, all you have to do is be awake and aware of your environment, and that enables you to transform everything around you. It sounds like hocus pocus, but scientists are coming to realize that just thinking about something can make it happen. Turns out maybe faith can move mountains.” -Christine Anderson

“Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done.” -Louis Brandeis (Louis Dembitz Brandeis (1856 - 1941))
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“Most of the things worth doing in the world have been declared impossible before they were attempted.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said. ‘One can’t believe impossible things.’ ‘I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes, I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.’” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Through the Looking-Glass” (1872), chapter 5

“Things that are impossible just take longer.” -Ian Hickson
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“I have learned to use the word ‘impossible’ with the greatest caution.” -Wernher von Braun (Wernher Magnus Maximilian, Freiherr von Braun (1912 - 1977))

“What is impossible today that if made possible would change everything?” -Joel Barker
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“Even if it can’t, it might.” -A. J. Barton

“What we need are more people who specialize in the impossible.” -Theodore Roethke (1908 - 1963)

“The difficult is what takes a little time; the impossible is what takes a little longer.” -Fridtjof Nansen (1861 - 1930): as quoted in the “Listener” (14 December 1939)
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“The impossible is often the untried.” -Jim Goodwin

“It is our duty as human beings to proceed as though the limits of our capabilities do not exist.” -Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (1881 - 1955)

“The impossible: What nobody can do, until somebody does.” -Author Unknown

“The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.” -Arthur C. Clarke (Arthur Charles Clarke (1917 - 2008))
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“There is nothing impossible to him who will try.” -Alexander of Macedonia (also known as Alexander the Great (356 B.C.E. - 323 B.C.E.))

“Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.” -John Heywood (about 1497 - 1580): “The Proverbs of John Heywood” (1546)

“The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible.” -Richard M. DeVos (Richard Marvin DeVos, Senior (1926 - 2018))

“I’m the kind of guy that says nothing is impossible when you work hard.” -Robinson Cano
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Words That’s impossible, Someone like you can’t, Just give up, You can’t do that, Don’t even try, You can’t do it, and then written on a piece of paper stuck over them the words, I CAN DO IT - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” -Walter Bagehot (1826 - 1877)

“It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.” -Robert H. Goddard (Robert Hutchings ‘Bob’ Goddard (1882 - 1945))

“‘Impossible’ is not a scientific term.” -Vanna Bonta (1953 - 2014): ‘Space’ published in “The Space Review” (25 October 2004)

“It is the act of a madman to pursue impossibilities.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180))

“When someone tells you that you can’t do something, perhaps you should consider that they are only telling you what they can’t do.” -Sheldon Cahoon
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“You can do the impossible, because you have been through the unimaginable.” -Christina Rasmussen (born 1972)
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“Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” -Francis of Assisi (1181 - 1226)

“What is not yet done is only what we have not yet attempted to do.” -Alexis de Tocqueville (Alexis Charles Henri Clérel, comte de Tocqueville (1805 - 1859))

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” -Author Unknown

“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” -Jamie Paolinetti (born 1964)
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“There is no limitation other than what you think.” -Kenneth Mills

“Impossible only defines the degree of difficulty.” -Author Unknown

“You have to believe in the impossible.” -Howard Head
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“What is possible? What you will.” - Augustus William Hare (1792 - 1834) and Julius Charles Hare (1795 - 1855): “Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers” (1827)

“We have no limits - we create them in our mind.” -Bud LaBranche

“Everything is always impossible before it works.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

“To get profit without risk, experience without danger, and reward without work is as impossible as it is to live without being born.” -A. P. Gouthey (Aldolph Philip Gouthey (some sources may show Adolph Philip Gouthey)) (1892 - 1963))
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“The impossible is possible if you want it to be.” -Author Unknown

“One cannot shoe a running horse.” -Author Unknown: Dutch proverb
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“Nothing is impossible.” -Author Unknown

“There is a better way to spell ‘impossible’: ‘I’m possible.’” -Author Unknown
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Animated picture of the word impossible changing into the words I’m possible! and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“Nothing is impossible; the word itself says, ‘I’m possible’!” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

“So many things are possible just as long as you don’t know they’re impossible.” -Norton Philip Juster (1929 - 2021): “The Phantom Tollbooth” (1961)

I May, I Might, I Must

If you will tell me why the fen*
appears impassable, I then
will tell you why I think that I
can get across if I try.

By Marianne Moore
*fen: a wetland or often water-flooded area
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“You cannot make a silk purse of a sow’s ear.” -Stephen Gosson (1554 - 1624): “The Ephemerides of Phialo” (1579)

“Back of ninety-nine out of one-hundred assertions that a thing cannot be done is nothing but the unwillingness to do it.” -William A. Feather (William Arthur Feather (1889 - 1981))

“Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.” -George Santayana (1863 - 1952)
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“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.” -Author Unknown: Adidas print advertisement published in “ESPN” (1972) magazine, as attributed in John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947)): “The Difference Maker” (2006), page 53

“Don’t undertake a project unless it is manifestly important and nearly impossible.” -Edwin Land (Edwin Herbert Land (1909 - 1991))
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“Never tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the Moon.” -Paul Brandt

“Anything in life is possible if you make it happen. And it’s never too late.” -Jack LaLanne (François Henri ’Jack’ LaLanne (1914 - 2011))
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“The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible . . . and achieve it generation after generation.” -Pearl S. Buck (Pearl Sydenstricker Buck, also known by her Chinese name Sai Zhenzhu (1892 - 1973))

“What is now proven was once only imagined.” -William Blake (1757 - 1827): “Proverbs of Hell” (1790 - 1793)

“When someone tells you it can’t be done, it’s more a reflection of their limitations, not yours.” -Author Unknown
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“She didn’t know that it couldn’t be done, so she went ahead and did it.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “Mary’s Almanac”

“Impossible is only an opinion.” -Author Unknown

“To the timid and hesitating everything is impossible because it seems so.” -Walter Scott (1771 - 1832)

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Overheard: If you live on Impossible Street, you might want to move to Possible Street.

“Anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve.” -J. K. Rowling (Joanne ‘Jo’ Rowling (born 1965))

“Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work.” -Author Unknown
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What Makes The Impossible Happen
- Hard Work
- Learning
- Perseverance
- Persistence
- Planning
- Risking
- Studying
- Trying
What can you add to this list?

“Yes, you can be a dreamer and a doer, too, if you will remove one word from your vocabulary: impossible.” -Robert Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“Nothing is impossible to industry*.” -Periander (about 625 B.C.E. - about 585 B.C.E.)
*industry: hard work
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“Ordinary people believe only in the possible. Extraordinary people visualize not what is possible or probable, but rather what is impossible. And by visualizing the impossible, they begin to see it as possible.” -Cherie Carter-Scott (born 1949)

“Nothing is impossible: there are ways which lead to everything; and if we had sufficient will we should always have sufficient means.” -François de La Rochefoucauld (also known as François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680))

“It’s going to be difficult, but difficult is not impossible.” -Author Unknown

“In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd.” -Miguel de Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1547 - 1616)): “Don Quixote de la Mancha” (1605 - 1615)

“There are many things that seem impossible only so long as one does not attempt them.” -André Gide (André Paul Guillaume Gide (1869))

“If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Mark,’ chapter 9, verse 23

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“Think of the thing you cannot do, and then do it.” -Author Unknown
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“What ‘exists’ is only a small part of what is ‘possible.’” -Pere Alberch (born Pere Alberch Vie (1954 - 1998))

“To achieve the impossible, we must attempt the impossible again and again.” -Hermann Hesse (1877 - 1962)

“Every noble work is at first impossible.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881): “Past and Present” (1843), Chapter XI: ‘Labour’

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“All things are possible until they are proved impossible. Even the impossible may only be so, as of now.” -Pearl S. Buck (Pearl Sydenstricker Buck, also known by her Chinese name Sai Zhenzhu (1892 - 1973)): “A Bridge for Passing” (1962)

“Do not suppose that, if you find something hard to achieve, it is beyond human capacity; rather, if something is possible and appropriate for man, assume that it must also be within your own reach.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180)): “The Meditations” (C.E. 167)

“To believe a thing impossible is to make it so.” -Author Unknown: French proverb
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“Either I will find a way, or I will make one.” -Philip Sidney (1554 - 1586)

“All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.” -Author Unknown

“The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man’s determination.” -Tommy Lasorda (Thomas Charles ‘Tommy’ Lasorda (born 1927))

“Impossibility simply means ‘I’m possibility.’” -Monsieur Nana Adom
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“It is certain because it is impossible.” [translation to English]
“Certum est quia impossibile.” [original Latin]
-Quintus Septimius Florens Tertullianus (also known simply as Tertullian (about C.E. 155 - about C.E. 240)): “De Carne Christi,” Chapter V, Part II

“Nothing is impossible to the man who can will and then do; this is the only law of success.” -Mirabeau (Honoré Gabriel Riqueti, Count of Mirabeau (1749 - 1791))

“All big things in this world are done by people who are naive and have an idea that is obviously impossible.” -Frank Richards
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“That which is impossible today will be possible tomorrow.” -Konstantin Eduardovich Tsiolkovsky

“The impossible . . . simply isn’t.” -Author Unknown
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“When someone tells me, ‘no,’ it doesn’t mean I can’t do it, it simply means I can’t do it with them.” -Karen E. Quinones Miller

“If you believe you can do a thing, you can do it.” -Claude M. Bristol (Claude Myron Bristol (1891 - 1951))

“Once you stop dismissing something as unattainable, then you start working on its development.” -Jerome Pearson
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“The most rewarding things you do in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done.” -Arnold Palmer (Arnold Daniel Palmer (1929 - 2016))

“And all may do what has by man been done.” -Edward Young (1683 - 1765): “Night Thoughts” (1742 - 1745), Night VI, line 606

“With hard work and dedication, anything is possible.” -Timothy Weah (Timothy Tarpeh Weah (born 2000)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Employment And Work Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

“You can’t roller-skate in a buffalo herd, but you can be happy if you’ve a mind to.” -Roger Miller (Roger Dean Miller, Senior (1936 - 1992))

“Consider nothing impossible, then treat possibilities as probabilities.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870)): “David Copperfield” (1849 - 1850)

“With love and patience, nothing is impossible.” -Daisaku Ikeda
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“Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears.” -Gillian Anderson: “Girl Boss: Running the Show Like the Big Chicks” (1999), foreword

“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.” -Walt Disney (Walter Elias ‘Walt’ Disney (1901 - 1966)): as attributed in Derek Walker: “Animated Architecture” (December 1982), page 10

We are MFOL! . . . wishing you many trouble-free days as you make your way through a world in which more and more is possible all the time . . .

Light Bulbs And Artificial Lighting

Picture of a group of incandescent light bulbs arranged in a circle, and the words, Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Light Bulbs And Artificial Lighting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“In the darkest moments, the light bulb of hope still shines.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Hopes And Dreams Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Dick: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
Jane: One juggler, but it takes three bulbs.

In Victoria, Australia, only licensed electricians are permitted to change light bulbs.

Gidget: How many customer service representatives does it take to change a light bulb?
Bridget: Please continue to hold . . . your call is very important to us . . .

Before the invention and widespread availability of electric lighting, people slept an average of ten hours each night.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Sleep And Sleeping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Bradley: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
Todd: We will have an estimate ready for you a week from Monday.

“No one regrets having changed a lightbulb.” -Gretchen Rubin (Gretchen Craft Rubin (born 1965)) at https://gretchenrubin.com

Herman: How many seabirds does it take to change a light bulb?
Sherman: About four or five terns ought to do the trick.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Birds Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

“I think the light bulb is beginning to flicker.” -Anita Allen

Nigel: How many circus performers does it take to change a light bulb?
Eugene: Two, one to change the bulb, and one to shout, ‘Taaa-daaaaaa!’

According to Guinness World Records, the world’s longest-lasting light bulb is the 60-watt carbon filament Centennial Light located at 4550 East Avenue, Livermore, California, United States of America, originally made by Shelby Electric Company. It is maintained by the Livermore-Pleasanton Fire Department. The bulb has been providing light since 1901, and has only been turned off on a few occasions, such as during power outtages or brief periods when moved to a new location. It is one of several light bulbs from around the same era that still function perfectly.

Gertie: Why was the streetlight shining down on the road?
Gertrude: To light the way for the chicken to get safely across.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Accidents And Safety Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Orville: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Wilbur: To change a light bulb.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Road Crossings Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Carmella: How many chickens does it take to change a light bulb?
Christina: Just one, but it has to cross the road first.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Chickens Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Neal: How many antelopes does it take to change a light bulb?
Jean: None; they are hardy animals that migrate between tundra and wide open plains, and therefore have no need for an artificial light source.

How many lightbulbs does it take to change a person?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Changing And Adjusting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

“I might not be the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but I’m pretty good at getting most of the other bulbs to light up.” -Jack Welch (John Francis ‘Jack’ Welch, Junior (born 1935))

Picture of a man and a furry housecat standing on the rungs of a ladder as they replace the bulbs in a ceiling light fixture, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Sylvester: How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Sylvia: Only one, but it sure takes a lot of light bulbs!

Artemus: Why did the lightbulb cross the road?
Gordon: To get to the knock-knock joke.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Knock-Knock Jokes Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

The Chandelier Man Story. I walked into a convenience store early this morning and there was a guy hanging from a light fixture on the ceiling, so I asked the clerk what he was doing up there. The clerk said, “Oh, don’t worry about him - he’s just some poor confused guy who thinks he’s a light bulb.” I said, “Don’t you think you should help him get down from there before he falls and hurts himself?” The clerk responded, “Well, yes, I guess I could - but then I would have to work in the dark.”

Jerry: How many grocery store cashiers does it take to change a light bulb?
Jenny: Are you kidding? Why, they won’t even give change for a five-dollar bill!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Shopping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

So a guy walks into a store and holds out a a twenty dollar bill, and says to a cashier, “Hey, can you change a light bulb for me?”

Chester: How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb?
Chet: One.

In 1802, English physician Humphrey Davy made an electric light by passing current through a platinum strip, creating the first-known carbon arc lamp.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Beginning And Starting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Mel: How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Vin: None, they just define darkness as the new industry standard.

Mathilda: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Mattie: Only one, because they do not like to share the spotlight.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Theater And Thespians Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Jeremy: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Jeremiah: Two; one to assure us that everything possible is being done, while the other one screws the light bulb into a water faucet.

Would you like to have light bulbs that stay on even after the power goes out, and that you could remove from the sockets to use as portable light sources, just as if they were flashlights? You can. Visit www.lyfelite.com, and let them know you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Jan: How many statisticians does it take to change a light bulb?
Jen: Exactly 1.67.

A layer of dust can build up on light bulbs over time, reducing their light output. Take a dry cloth and wipe the dust off them to restore some of their light output.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Housekeeping And Housecleaning Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Joshua: How many carpenters does it take to change a light bulb?
Isaac: Two: one to hold the bulb, while the other one hammers it in - because when you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail!

A man was polishing a light bulb before placing it in the socket, when there was a big flash and a genie appeared before him. “I am the genie of the light bulb,” the genie said. “I will answer any three questions for you - but only three. Do you have three questions you would like to ask?” “Who? Me?” asked the man. “Yes, you,” said the genie. “Now, what is your third question?”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Questions And Queries Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

“When he set out to invent the light bulb, Edison was not tinkering with candles.” -Author Unknown

Picture of a light bulb, inside of which is a lit wax candle instead of a filament, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

“The electric light did not come from the continuous improvement of candles.” -Oren Harari
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Continuing And Progressing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

“There can still exist a place for candles in a world of electric light bulbs.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Burt: How many Hegelians does it take to change a light bulb?
Bart: None - the bulb is just at one dialectical pole between ‘bright’ and ‘dark,’ so it will eventually synthesize these into at least some dim glow.

In 1878, English chemist and physicist Joseph Swan created a working incandescent lamp and received a patent for it.

Archie: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
Archibald: One, but the atheist will still be in darkness.

“‘Don’t be the moth. Be the light bulb.’ When I say that I mean don’t follow the crowd. Just shine. Be the light bulb. Do your thing. Pave your own path.” -Sara Paxton

May: How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
June: None - the light bulb gives itself up and turns itself in.

“My latest works are these things with light bulbs.” -Tim Hodges (born 1957)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Creativity And Innovation Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Iris: How many visitors to an art gallery does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Irene: Two; one to do it and one to say, “Huh! My four-year old could have done that!”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Art Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

“When Edison first started out with his ‘crazy’ idea for the light bulb, skeptics were unmoved. They called Thomas Edison a con man and taunted him to prove his bulb could really work. Despite the naysayers, Edison pushed on, demonstrating the importance of sticking with his ‘crazy’ idea which would go on to turn him into one of the world’s most well-known entrepreneurs. The key here is to fan the foolish fire no matter what!” -Linda Rottenberg

In 1879, Thomas Edison invented the first commercially available light bulb, meaning one that people could purchase or buy for their own use. His carbon filament incandescent lamps proved to be so vastly superior to candles and oil lamps that everyone from farmers to writers to lawyers to shopkeepers to preachers rushed out to buy them, which spurred the installation of electric generators and electric power lines across the United States of America and around the world.

“I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.” -Thomas A. Edison
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Failures And Successes Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Thomas Edison, when queried by a “New York Times” newspaper reporter about the seemingly incredible difficulties associate with his work on the lightbulb rebutted, “I have not failed 700 times. I’ve succeeded in proving 700 ways how not to build a lightbulb.”

Thomas Edison actually made about 2,774 attempts to create a working light bulb. He experimented with different materials, including cotton and bamboo, heated to a charcoal-like, or carbon state, to find a material that would conduct electricity and glow, or give off light, inside a glass bulb.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Numbers And Counting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

“I’m one of those people that think Thomas Edison and the light bulb changed the world more than Karl Marx ever did.” -Steve Jobs (Steven Paul ‘Steve’ Jobs (1955 - 2011))

Picture of a man holding an enormous light bulb, while looking up high above himself at the ceiling light fixture the bulb he will have to place it into, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Cyrus: How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?
Cyril: Only one, but you should have seen the size of that light bulb!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Fishing And Angling Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Otto: How many secular progressivists does it take to change a light bulb?
Bob: None - they leave all of the good works for the Christians to do.

Agatha: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Christie: Two; one to screw it almost all the way in, and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The Written Word And Writing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Joy: How many real men does it take to change a light bulb?
Jay: None, because real men are not afraid of the dark.

Dale: How many real women does it take to change a light bulb?
Sadie: That is not funny!

Janet: What did one light bulb say to the other?
Anette: “I love you a whole watt!”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Love Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Amos: How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a light bulb?
Moses: Exactly who are you, and why do you want to know?

Josie: Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
Prudence: No, but if you will hum a little of it, I can fake the rest.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Music Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Keith: How many “Star Trek” Borg does it take to change a light bulb?
Kennith: All of them!

Eddie: What do you get when you cross a light bulb with a baby?
Ellie: A light bulb that cries when it needs to be changed.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Babies And Infants Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Golden Retriever: The Sun is shining, the day is young, we have our whole lives ahead of us, and you are inside worrying about a burned out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I will replace any wiring that is not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that ridiculous lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
German Shepherd: I will change it as soon as I lead these people from the dark, check to make sure I have not missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russell Terrier: I will just pop it in while I am bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I am sorry, but I don’t see a light bulb.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there . . . yep, sure it is, exactly there . . .
Greyhound: It is not moving, so who cares?
New Zealand Sheep Dog: First, I will put all the light bulbs in a little cluster . . .
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Domestic Dogs Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

John: How did the hipster burn his hand?
Jonathan: He changed the light bulb before it was cool.

Melanie: How many burglars does it take to change a light bulb?
Melody: No one knows, because when the light comes on, they all scatter.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Lawyers Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Ted: How many astronauts does it take to change a light bulb?
Theo: None; changing a light bulb is not rocket science, you know.

“Suppose you make a hole in an ordinary evacuated electric light bulb and allow the air molecules to pass in at the rate of 1,000,000 a second, the bulb will become full of air in approximately 100,000,000 years.” -Francis William Aston
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Fun Facts And Trivia Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Ivan: How many capitalistic exploiters of the working classes does it take to change a light bulb?
Igor: None, that is the historically determined role of the proletariat!

Percy: Why was the hippie staring at the light bulb?
Mercy: He was trying to do some light reading.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Reading And Books Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Myrtle: How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Myron: One, because they are efficient and do not have a sense of humor.
(Wenn Sie Deutscher sind, denken Sie bitte daran, dass dies nur ein Witz ist!)

Engineering Student: What is the difference between a light bulb and a lightbulb?
Engineering Profesor: A light bulb is any bulb that is not heavy, and a lightbulb is an electrical device that provides light.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Differences And Individuality Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Emily: How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?
Emaline: Only one, to aim the X-ray machine, but the bulb changes very, very slowly.

Bertha: How many Analytic Philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?
Bert: None - it is a pseudo-problem . . . light bulbs give off light (hence the name); if the bulb was broken and was not giving off light, it would not be a ‘light bulb.’
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Philosophy And Philosophies Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Corey: How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb?
Cora: I think at least a Brazilian.

“A light bulb is a reminder that every problem can be illuminated and solved.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Problems And Solutions Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Frances: How many Spaniards does it take to change a light bulb?
Francine: Juan.

Blue Space Alien: How many humans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Green Space Alien: One, with suitable eye-hand coordination.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read UFO’s And Extraterrestrials Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

“Billions of people inhabit the Earth. One in a million people might change a light bulb today. Will you be one of them?” -Author Unknown

Jasmine: How many dance instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Arturo: And a five . . . six . . . seven . . . eight!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Dance And Dancing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Lois: How many math teachers does it take to change a light bulb?
Louis: Exactly 1.000.

“A lightbulb is a powerful symbol of innovation and progress.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Inspiration And Motivation Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Robin: How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?
Sparrow: Toucan.

We are MFOL! . . . changing the world . . . one light bulb at a time . . .

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Although adults are just serious-minded children, there is a chance for them to be slightly less so, every time they visit Make Fun Of Life!

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Do you need a joke, quotation, riddle, poem, or paragraph on a certain subject? Travel to the search box found at the top right corner of this page and type in the words. We have a surprisingly large variety of material, and we add new material regularly, so you may find what you are seeking.

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Welcome! You are now on Make Fun Of Life! a website on which learning, inspiration, and humor are back together again, as they were always meant to be!

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Yes, you are always welcome to write down what you read on MFOL! and share it with other people.

You Are Amazing! - You Look Fabulous! - You Are Really Smart! - You Are The Grooviest! - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net

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Picture of a young woman with a look of astonishment on her face and pointing with her finger at the words and pictures on the website, and the words, 'Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.'

Picture of a man sitting on a wooden bench with his walking cane, green leafy trees and green grass in the background, and the words, 'Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.'

Picture of a happy smiling young man holding a large yellow floating balloon by a string while looking at the words and pictures on the website, and the words, ‘Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’

Picture of a woman looking at the words and pictures on the website.

Picture of a man standing under a leafy green shade tree and looking at the words and pictures on the website, and the words, 'Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.'

Picture of green leaves surrounding the words, ‘Smile Often, Think Positively, Give Thanks.’

Picture of a young man riding a skateboard.

Picture of a happy smiling woman looking at the words and pictures on the website.

Picture of three furry toy teddy bears reading a book, and the words, ‘Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’

When you reach the bottom of this page simply click or tap on either Previous or Forward to see even more Make Fun Of Life!

Picture of a woman wearing a hat and eyeglasses and looking at the words and pictures on the website, and the words, ‘Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’

We are presently reworking the Make Fun Of Life! Website so that it will be compatible with the screen readers used by persons who may be English learners, illiterate, or have blindness or visual impairments. We hope to have the changes completed by the end of the year 2024. If you would like to install a screen reader on your computer or other device, visit https://www.nvaccess.org/download/. Be sure to let them know you learned about their service from this mention on www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Picture of a boy looking at the words and pictures on the website, and the words, 'Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.'

Picture of a man adjusting his eyeglasses while looking at the words and pictures on the website, and the words, 'Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.'

Picture of a happy smiling woman giving the a-okay sign with her hand, and the words, ‘Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’

Picture of a duck looking at the words and pictures on the website, and the words, 'Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.'

Picture of a young boy looking at the words and pictures on the website and the words, 'Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.'

Picture of man looking at the words and pictures on the website, and the words, 'Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.'

Picture of a smiling happy infant boy looking at the words and pictures on the website, and the words, 'Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.'