Shopping

​“I don’t play sports. The only strenuous activity I do is shopping. But there’s a lot of walking involved in that - running sometimes, if there’s a sale.” -Author Unknown
 
“Whenever you buy something from a small local business, an actual person does a little happy dance.” -Author Unknown
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“About eighty percent of the food on shelves of supermarkets today didn’t exist 100 years ago.” -Larry McCleary
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“When the checker at the supermarket asked my uncle if he would like the milk in a bag, my uncle replied, ‘No, just leave it in the carton.’” -Author Unknown

​To Market
 
To market, to market,
     To buy a fat pig,
Home again, home again,
     Jiggety jig,
 
To market, to market,
     To buy a fat hog,
Home again, home again,
     Jiggety jog,
 
To market, to market,
     To buy a plum bun,
Home again, home again,
     Market is done.
 
By Author Unknown

​“I bet deep down you still wish your mom would take you clothes shopping every August for the new school year.” -Bridget Willard
 
A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, “No, ma’am, we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any soon.” Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, “That isn’t true, ma’am. Of course, we’ll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago.” Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, “Never, never, never, never say we don’t have something. If we don’t have it, say we ordered it and it’s on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?” “Rain.”
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“The best things in life are free. The second-best are very expensive.” -Coco Chanel
 
“I’ve been shopping all my life and still have nothing to wear!” -Sally Poplin
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Overheard: Today I went to the corner shop - and bought four corners.
 
“I always make a list before I go to the grocery store. Sometimes I even remember to bring it with me.” -Author Unknown
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“Grocery list (grow•sree list), noun: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.” -Author Unknown

​“Self-Checkout Line - The place where customers of an establishment become unpaid employees of the establishment.” -Richard E. Turner (1937 - 2011): “The Curmudgeon’s Short Dictionary of Modern Phrases” (about 2009), ‘The Grammar Curmudgeon, a.k.a. ‘The Mudge’’
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“Everything is worth what its purchaser will pay for it.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): as attributed in Darius Lyman: “The Moral Sayings of Publius Syrus, a Roman Slave: from the Latin” (1856): “Sententiae,” Maxim 847
 
“The woman just ahead of you at the supermarket checkout has all the delectable groceries you didn’t even know they carried.” -Mignon McLaughlin (1913 - 1983)
 
Overheard: The food at the convenience store in my neighborhood is so old that the expiration dates are in Roman numerals.
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Grocery Store Bagger, speaking to Customer: Paper or plastic?
Customer: Surprise me!
 
“When you go out to buy, don’t show your silver.” -Author Unknown
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“The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.” -Erma Bombeck (Erma Louise Bombeck (born Erma Louise Fiste (1927 - 1996)))
 
“I went into a general store. They wouldn’t let me buy anything specifically.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))
 
Dolly: What do you get when alien teenagers invade shopping malls on Earth?
Molly: Clothes encounters of the weird kind.
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“If it’s good, they’ll stop making it.” -Herbert Block
 
Two men were lost in the desert. They were desperate for water, but just as they thought there was no hope, they chanced upon a village where market day was in full swing. They went to the first market stall they saw, and asked if they could buy some water. “No,” replied the stall owner, “I only sell fruit. Try the next stall.” So off they went to the next stall and again they asked for water. “Sorry,” said the merchant, “but I only sell custard.” “Custard?” one of the men said to the other, “What kind of place is this?” By then completely desperate, they went to the next stall, only to be told, “Sorry, but I only sell jelly.” Hearing this, one of the thirsty men turned to the other and asked, “I say, do you think this is a trifle bazaar?”
 
Overheard: Whenever I am at the market, I always seem to get the shopping cart with the one bad wheel.
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Rule 1: The customer is always right.
Rule 2: If the customer is ever wrong, reread rule 1.
-Stew Leonard: policy of Stew Leonard’s dairy stores.
 
“Never buy anything simply because it is expensive.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))
 
“When I was in the supermarket, I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, ‘Are you two an item?’” -Author Unknown
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“The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.” -Author Unknown

​“Three women and a goose make a market.” -Author Unknown
 
“I’m obsessed with shopping. I’ll get these urges to buy, like to shop for stuff on the internet. I search for all kinds of weird gizmos I could get.” -Tom Felton
 
Customer to bookstore owner: “I would like to return this book on modern medical procedures.”
Owner: “Is something wrong with it?”
Customer: “Someone removed the appendix.”
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“Ill ware is never cheape.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in George Herbert (1593 - 1633): “Jacula Prudentum; or Outlandish Proverbs, Sentences, &c. Selected by Mr. George Herbert” (1651), proverb 61
 
The manager of a grocery store nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was escorting the suspect to the office in the front of the store near the cash registers, when the shoplifter broke from his grip and tried to run away. After a scuffle, the store manager pinned him against the wall and looked up to see a number of surprised customers staring at him. “Everything’s fine, folks,” he reassured them. “This guy just tried to go through the express line with more than ten items.”
 
“Is there more to life than shopping?” -Amanda Ford
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Sign at a farmer’s market: Please Do Not Put All Of Your Eggs In One Basket.
 
Mabel: What is the most expensive vehicle to operate?
Gertrude: A shopping cart.
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“Don’t a fellow feel good after he gets out of a store where he nearly bought something.” -Frank McKinney Hubbard (Frank McKinney ‘Kin’ Hubbard (1868 - 1930))
 
Shopper: Someone who goes buy-buy.
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Overheard: Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
 
Customer: Have you anything for gray hair?
Clerk: Nothing but the greatest respect.
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So a guy walked into an antiques store and asked, “What’s new?”
 
“If a store has an express lane which limits the number of items a customer can buy, is that store at the same time limiting the number of items it sells?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
 
The first product to have a UPC bar code on its packaging was Wrigley’s gum.
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“Pleasing ware is halfe sould.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in George Herbert (1593 - 1633): “Jacula Prudentum; or Outlandish Proverbs, Sentences, &c. Selected by Mr. George Herbert” (1651), number 14
 
A small storeowner was being pressured to sell his store to the owners of a large department store, who had bought every building on the block, except his. Frustrated by the man’s refusal to sell, they eventually opened their huge store on either side of the small one, with a big banner running from one side to the other, proclaiming in huge letters “Grand Opening.” Below it, across the front of his small store, the man put up a small banner over his door: “Main Entrance.”

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts cannot easily reach everything.
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“Distrust everything sold at check-out stands.” -Solomon Short
 
Rumor has it that the best time to buy a new car is at the end of the month, because the sales people want their monthly reports to look good.
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Huan: What are cashiers in China called?
Lok: Chinese checkers.
 
“Cheap things are not good; good things are not cheap.” -Author Unknown
 
The proprietor of a highly successful optical shop was instructing his son on how to charge a customer. “Son,” he said, “after you have fitted the glasses, and the customer asks what the charge will be, you say,” ‘The charge is 98 dollars.’ Then you pause and wait to see if he flinches. If the customer doesn’t flinch, you then say, “For the frames. The lenses will be another 98 dollars.” Then you pause again, this time only slightly, and watch for the flinch. If he doesn’t flinch this time, you say firmly, “Each.”
 
“Shopping: Retail therapy.” -Joe Heuer
 
“A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980))
 
Sales Clerk to Customer: “This is an actual fire sale. The boss said that if I do not make a sale today, I am fired.”
 
Overheard: Aspirin, 300 for $2.88 - at that price, I can’t afford not to have a headache!
 
“Gift Shop: A place where you can see all of the things that you hope your relatives will not send to you for Christmas.” -Author Unknown
 
“Sorry I haven’t gotten anything done today. I’ve been in the produce department at the grocery store all day trying to open a plastic bag.” -Author Unknown
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“Supermarket entrance: Say hello to good buys.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)
 
“I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, “Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.” He said, ‘Yes, but not in a row.’” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))
 
“There is hardly anything in the world that some man can’t make a little worse and sell a little cheaper, and the people who consider price only are this man’s lawful prey.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)
 
“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.” -Bo Derek
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“The other line moves faster.” -Etorre
 
“I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.” -Tommy Cooper
 
“Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?” -Author Unknown
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Who buys,
     Had need of an hundred Eyes;
But one’s enough,
     For him that sells the Stuff.
-Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia” (1732), number 6129
 
Ariel: What hops and shops?
Laura: A grass-shopper.
 
“A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.” -Author Unknown
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“Let the buyer beware.” -John Fitzherbert: “A Book of Husbandry” (1523)
 
Shopping Tip: Do not shop when you are hungry. Shop after eating something, otherwise you will be tempted to buy everything that looks good and is edible in the store, including things you normally would not buy, things that you should not buy, and things that can ruin your diet and your budget.
 
“He is never likely to have a good thing cheap who is afraid to ask the price.” -Author Unknown
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“We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.” -Henny Youngman (Henry ‘Henny’ Youngman (1906 - 1998))
 
“People will buy anything that’s one to a customer.” -Sinclair Lewis (Harry Sinclair ‘Sinclair’ Lewis (1885 - 1951))
 
“Buying something on sale is a special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it’s worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?” -Rita Rudner
 
“Right or wrong, the customer is always right.” -Marshall Field
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“When in doubt, go shopping.” -Sarah Ferguson
 
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Ships And Sailing

“Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world.” -H. Melville (Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)): “Moby Dick” (18 October 1851), opening line
 
“Across the mighty seas they sailed, in tiny wooden ships, pushed along by the currents in the water and the currents in the air . . . Are we there yet? How much longer is this going to take? Is that what a sea monster is supposed to look like?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
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Iron Men And Wooden Ships

Said a salty old skipper from Wales,
“Number One, it’s all right to chew nails.
     It impresses the crew,
     It impresses me, too.
But stop spitting holes in the sails!”
 
By John Ciardi (John Anthony Ciardi (1916 - 1986))
 
“Land was created to provide a place for boats to visit.” -Brooks Atkinson (Justin Brooks ‘Brooks’ Atkinson (1894 - 1984))
 
“Sailors, with their built in sense of order, service, and discipline, should really be running the world.” -Nicholas Monsarrat (Nicholas John Turney Monsarrat (1910 - 1979))
 
Riddle: You see a ship filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is this possible?
Solution: All of the people are married.
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Never a ship sails out of the bay
     But carries my heart as a stowaway.
-Roselle Mercier Montgomery (1874 - 1933): “Ulysses Returns, and Other Poems” (1925), ‘The Stowaway’
 
“It is not the ship so much as the skillful sailing that assures the prosperous voyage.” -George William Curtis (1824 - 1892)
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“When a man comes to like a sea life, he is not fit to live on land.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)
 
“Don’t wait for your ship to come in. Row out to meet it.” -Author Unknown
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There are many who wait for their ships to come in,
For their ships to come in from the sea.
This question they ask as they watch and wait:
‘Will a ship come home to me?’
The answer comes swift from a voyager old,
A voyager weathered and gray:
‘Have you sent forth a craft with a cargo, friend?
A craft that might come in today?’
There are many who long for their ships to come in,
That they from their cares may be free;
But how could a ship come home to them
When they’ve sent no craft to sea?
-Author Unknown
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Way down upon the Mississippi, two tugboat captains who had been friends for years, would always cry, “Aye!” and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other. A new crewman asked his ship’s first mate, “What do they do that for?” The mate looked surprised and replied, “You mean that you’ve never read in the Bible where it says an aye for an aye and a toot for a toot?”
 
“If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it.” -Jonathan Winters (Jonathan Harshman Winters III (1925 - 2013))
 
Math Problem: A ship has a ladder with twelve rungs, and each rung is a foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water’s surface. The tide rises at 12 inches every 15 minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at its highest, how many rungs will be under water?
Solution: None; as the tide rises, the ship and the ladder attached to it will rise with the tide.
 
Ships

Little ships
     Must keep to the shore;
Larger ships
     May venture more.
 
By Author Unknown
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“You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don’t let yourself indulge in vain wishes.” -Rabindranath Tagore (also known as Ravīndranātha Thākura, born Rabindranath Thakur (1861 - 1941))
 
“Out of sight of land the sailor feels safe. It is the beach that worries him.” -Charles G. Davis (Charles Gerard Davis (1870 - 1959))
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“Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.” [translation to English]
“In tranquillo esse quisque gubernator potest.” [original Latin]
-Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): “Sententiae,” Maxim 358
 
“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are for.” -John A. Shedd (John Augustus Shedd (1859 - 1928)): “Salt from My Attic” (1928), page 20
 
“These tall and handsome ships, swaying imperceptibly on tranquil waters, these sturdy ships, with their inactive, nostalgic appearance, don’t they say to us in a speechless tongue: When do we cast off for happiness?” [translation to English]
“Ces beaux et grands navires, imperceptiblement balancés (dandinés) sur les eaux tranquilles, ces robustes navires, à l’air désœuvré et nostalgique, ne nous disent-ils pas dans une langue muette: Quand partons-nous pour le bonheur?” [original French]
-Charles Baudelaire (Charles Pierre Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)): “Fusées” (1867)
 
“Two captains will sink the ship.” -Author Unknown: Turkish proverb
 
“Too many captains run the ship aground.” -Author Unknown: Greek proverb
(Similar to: “Too many cooks spoil the broth.” -Author Unknown)
 
“Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.” -Author Unknown
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“Sailing ships: Mast transit.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“However bad the storm you are in, there is still Sun somewhere over your horizon.” -Ken Nutt (Ken Eric Nutt (born 1951))
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A shipwrecked sailor spent nearly three years on a desert island. One morning he was overjoyed to see a ship in the bay and a boat pulling onto shore. As the boat grounded on the beach, an officer jumped out and threw the sailor a pile of newspapers. “The captain’s compliments,” said the officer, “and will you please read through these and let him know whether you still wish to be rescued?”
 
“When in danger or in doubt, port your helm and come about.” -Author Unknown
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“All the water in the world, however hard it tries, can never sink the smallest ship unless it gets inside, and all the evil in the world, the blackest kind of sin, can never hurt you in the least, unless you let it in.” -Author Unknown
 
“In a calm sea every man is a pilot.” -Author Unknown: Spanish proverb
 
A fully loaded supertanker traveling at normal speed takes a least 20 minutes to come to a full stop.
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Danny: Why couldn’t the sailors play cards?
Tammy: Because the captain was standing on the deck.
 
“Men in a ship are always looking up, and men ashore are usually looking down.” -John Masefield (1878 - 1967)
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The right side of a ship is called the starboard side because astronavigators would stand out on the plank (which was on the right side) to get an unobstructed view of the stars. The left side is called the port side because that is the side put in on at ports. Fore refers to the front or forward part of a ship, and aft refers to the back, or after part of a ship.
 
“A man should learn to sail in all winds.” -Author Unknown: Italian proverb
 
“I don’t know who named them swells. There’s nothing swell about them. They should have named them awfuls.” -Hugo Vihlen (born 1931)
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The first sailing boats are believed to have been built in ancient Egypt. They used them to sail up the steep sides of the pyramids, while shouting, ‘Last one there is a rotten egg!’ Wait, what? . . . that can’t be true . . .
 
“Ships are the nearest things to dreams that hands have ever made.” -Robert N. Rose
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“A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.” -John George Hermanson (1866 - 1944)
 
“Ships don’t sink because of the water around them. Ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.” -Author Unknown
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“The winds and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.” -Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794): “The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire” (1776 - 1789), Volume 1 (1776), Chapter 68

“Friendship: A ship full of friends.” -Author Unknown
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Mary: What kind of ship doesn’t sink?
Gary: A friendship.
 
“There are big ships and small ships. But the best ship of all is friendship.” -Author Unknown
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“I cannot not sail.” -E. B. White (Elwyn Brooks White (1899 - 1985))
 
“A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.” -Author Unknown
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Sally: What sits on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
Salvador: A nervous wreck.
 
Riddle: What do you throw out when you want to use it but take in when you don’t want to use it?
Solution: An anchor.
 
“A good sailor was never made on smooth seas.” -George Q. Cannon (George Quayle Cannon (1827 - 1901))
 
Jen: Why do sailors have trouble learning the alphabet?
Ben: Because ships sail from A to B with sea between.
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Mackerel skies and mares tails,
Soon will be time to shorten sails.
-Author Unknown
 
“The goal is not to sail the boat, but rather to help the boat sail herself.”
-John Rousmaniere (born 1944)
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“If my ship sails from sight, it doesn’t mean my journey ends, it simply means the river bends.” -J. Enoch Powell (John Enoch ‘Enoch’ Powell (1912 - 1998))
 
Riddle:
I fly to any foreign parts,
     Assisted by my spreading wings:
My body holds an hundred hearts,
     Nay, I will tell you stranger things:
When I am not in haste I ride,
     And then I mend my pace anon;
I issue fire from my side:
     You witty youths, this riddle answer.
Solution:
I am a sailing ship.
 
“The sea is the same as it has been since before men ever went on it in boats.” -Ernest Hemingway (Ernest Miller Hemingway (1899 - 1961))

“To reach a port, we must sail - sail, not lie at anchor - sail, not drift.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt (Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882 - 1945))
 
Two ships were loaded with cargoes of paint. One had red paint, and the other had blue paint. The ships collided. At last report, the survivors were marooned.
 
“Don’t let the fear of a storm keep you from sailing the ship.” -Calyn Whitley
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“You will never be able to discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” -Hannah Whitall Smith (1832 - 1911)
 
“Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea.” -Charles Cook
 
“With oars and sails.” [English] (In the sense of using every endeavor or means.)
“Remis velisque.” [Latin]
-Author Unknown
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“To sail is necessary.” [translation to English]
“Navigare necesse est.” [original Latin]
-Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus (5th century C.E.)
 
“A sailor without a destination cannot hope for a favorable wind.” -Leon Tec (1919 - 2013)
 
“‘A man who is not afraid of the sea will soon be drownded,’ he said, ‘for he will be going out on a day he shouldn’t. But we do be afraid of the sea, and we do only be drownded now and again.’” -John Millington Synge (1871 - 1909): “The Aran Islands” (1907)
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“I keep sailing on in this middle passage. I am sailing into the wind and the dark. But I am doing my best to keep my boat steady and my sails full.” -Arthur Ashe (Arthur Robert Ashe, Junior (1943 - 1993))
 
“The good seaman is known in bad weather.” -Author Unknown
 
“The great difference between voyages rests not in ships but in the people you meet on them.” -Amelia Barr (Amelia Edith Huddleston Barr (1831 - 1919))
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“If you learn to set a good sail, the wind that blows will always take you to the dreams you want, the income you want, and the treasures of mind, purse, and soul you want.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))
 
The Titanic was built in Belfast, Ireland. However, it was not the place where it was built that led to its sinking, or the quality of the work, but the design of the ship that resulted in its sinking.
 
Red sky by morning, sailor take warning.
Red sky at night, sailor’s delight.
-Author Unknown
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“No man can say he has been to sea until he has lost sight of land.” -Author Unknown
 
1 nautical knot equals 1.852 kilometers, or 1.150 miles, per hour . . . it apparently does not refer to the knots a sailor ties in a rope.
 
“At sea, I learned how little a person needs, not how much.” -Robin Lee Graham (born 1949)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Minimalism And Extravagance Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Make not your sail too big for your ballast.” -Author Unknown: English proverb
 
“No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in a jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company.” -Samual Johnson: “The Journal of a Tour of the Hebrides” (1785), ‘August 31 and September 23, 1773’
 
“It is not the going out of port, but the coming in, that determines the success of a voyage.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887)
 
“A sailor’s joys are as simple as a child’s.” -Bernard Moitessier (1925 - 1994)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Childhood And Children Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Horatio Nelson, one of England’s most illustrious admirals, was throughout his lifetime never able to find a cure for his seasickness.
 
“No wind is a good wind if you don’t know where the harbor is.” -Author Unknown: proverb
 
“A small Leak will sink a great Ship.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs, Wise Sentences, and Witty Sayings” (1732), number 407
 
“A ship on the beach is a lighthouse to the sea.” [translation to English]
“Een schip op het strand is een baken in zee.” [original Dutch]
-Author Unknown: Dutch proverb
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“He that will not sail till all dangers are over must never put to sea.” -Thomas Fuller (1608 - 1661)
 
“If the highest aim of a captain were to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever.” -Thomas Aquinas (1225 or 1227 - 1274)

A Pleasant Ship
 
I saw a ship a-sailing,
     A-sailing on the sea,
And oh! it was all laden
     With pretty things for thee!
 
There were comfits in the cabin,
     And apples in the hold;
The sails were made of silk,
     And the masts were made of gold.
 
The four-and-twenty sailors
     That stood between the decks
Were four-and-twenty white mice,
     With chains about their necks.
 
The captain was a duck,
     With a packet on his back,
And when the ship began to move,
     The captain said, “Quack! Quack!”
 
By Emilie Poulsson (Anne Emilie Poulsson (1853 - 1939))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of this article, or click or tap on these words to visit the Nursery Rhymes Page.

“There are parts of a ship which taken by themselves would sink. The engine would sink. The propeller would sink. But when the parts of a ship are built together, they float. So with the events of my life. Some have been tragic. Some have been happy. But when they are built together, they form a craft that floats and is going places. And I am comforted.” -Ralph W. Sockman (Ralph Washington Sockman (1889 - 1970))
 
“We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails.” -Author Unknown
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“For whosoever commands the sea commands the trade; whosoever commands the trade of the world commands the riches of the world, and consequently the world itself.” -Walter Raleigh (about 1552 - 1618): “A Discourse of the Invention of Ships, Anchors, Compass, &c”
 
“Life isn’t about waiting for the winds to change, it’s about learning to adjust your sails.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Life And Living Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“We must free ourselves from the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds.” -Hanmer Parsons Grant
 
“I wanted freedom, open air, and adventure. I found it on the sea.” -Alaine Gerbault (Alain Jacques Georges Marie Gerbault (1893 - 1941))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Adventure And Exploration Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
In the days of yore, ships sailed over the endless seas, carrying exotic cargoes and sailors who regaled landlubbers with stories of fantastic faraway places, much like the humor, inspiration, and learning that follows this article in the days of now . . . on MFOL!

Fortune Cookies

Remember to fulfill the promises you made to yourself.
 
You will prosper in the field of wacky inventions.
 
Don’t be afraid to take that big step.
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You will be rewarded for your patience and understanding.
 
Japanese Fortune Cookies, also known as tsujiura senbei, or fortune crackers, are larger than American Fortune Cookies, and are made of a batter containing sesame and miso rather than vanilla and butter as their American counterparts are. The strip of paper bearing the fortune for Japanese Fortune Cookies is placed in an outside fold or crease of the cookie instead of being hidden inside.
 
Next time, try the orange fried noodles with beef and broccoli.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Mealtimes And Eating Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
You make delicious soups.
 
An attractive, smart, and loving person will be coming into your life.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Dating And Courting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Fortune cookies were first invented in Japan, then modified slightly upon their arrival in America, and are now a common dessert item in American-style Chinese restaurants. So, in other words, the fortune cookie is an immigrant to the United States of America that has adapted itself well to its new homeland and has become famous and successful in ‘the land of freedom and opportunity.’
 
Believe in yourself and you will succeed.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Faith And Belief Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
An American Fortune Cookie is a thin crisp cookie usually made of flour, sugar, butter, vanilla, and sesame seed oil, which is shaped into a container that ‘holds a fortune inside.’
 
Good news will soon come to you.
 
Perhaps the fortune you seek is in another cookie?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Questions And Queries Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
The ‘fortune inside a fortune cookie’ is a strip of paper with a saying, proverb, prediction, humorous statement, advice, scripture, or other information printed on it. Some fortune cookie messages include lucky numbers for use in picking lottery numbers or in other games of chance (gambling).
 
You are busy, but you are happy.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The Meaning And Purpose Of Life Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Boomerangs are coming back.
 
A person is never too old to learn . . . or too young.
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Treat yourself well.
 
A light heart carries you through hard times.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Attitudes And Expectations Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
American Fortune Cookies are now served in Chinese restaurants all around the world, except in China, where the cookies are regarded as a cultural intrusion.
 
Ask a friend to join you on your next adventure.
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He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.
 
Work methodically on one problem at a time.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Wisdom And Advice Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
What if you could have fortune cookies printed with a message you choose for your event, business, cause, or anything else? You can, and you can even have the fortune cookies in colors and flavors. Did you know that you can serve fortune cookies as a snack with tea or coffee, not just as a dessert item after meals? Visit Fancy Fortune Cookies at https://www.fancyfortunecookies.com/Custom-Fortune-Cookies-s/50.htm.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Shopping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Patient work produces fine goods.
 
Beauty surrounds you because you create it.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Creativity And Innovation Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

​About time I got out of that cookie.
 
A new wardrobe brings great joy and change to your life.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Attire And Accessories Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
A novice at the first attempt, adept at the second.
 
Good things are coming your way, especially if you stay here and order dessert.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Restaurants And Eateries Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
This Fortune Cookie Examined By INSPECTOR NO. 2-14.
 
A new perspective will come with the new year.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of this article, or click or tap on these words to visit the New Year’s Day Page.
 
It is worth reviewing some old lessons.
 
Stop searching afar; happiness is just next to you.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Happiness Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
You find great energy and you will be able to get many things done.
 
Your eloquence has a persuasive impact.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The Spoken Word And Speaking Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
You will be surprised by a loud noise.
 
If you eat an entire box of fortune cookies, anything is possible.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Impossible And Possible Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
You are magnetic in your bearing.
 
I cannot talk right now. Even fortune cookies need to sleep sometime!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Sleep And Sleeping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
A golden egg of opportunity falls into your lap this month.
 
Determination is what you now need.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Adversities And Persevering Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
A leader is powerful to the degree he empowers others.
 
Good things are being said about you.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Gossip And Gossiping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Feed moderately on wholesome foods - garden herbs surpass rich dishes.
 
All your hopes, dreams, and fears are the beginning of the future.
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Your work will be recognized and suitably rewarded.
 
Your home is the center of great love.
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If you can read this, you do not need glasses.
 
Good to begin well, better to end well.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Fairy Tales And Folk Tales Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Take time to develop your personality.
 
Discover the power within yourself.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Self-Esteem And Self-Confidence Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
New ideas could be profitable.
 
Someone you care about seeks reconciliation.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Resenting And Forgiving Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
You may be hungry later, so order takeout now.
 
The best year-round temperature is a warm heart and a cool head.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Anatomy And Physiology Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Good news - you are not illiterate.

Your competition - and your motivation - will be the biggest manufacturer of fortune cookies, Wonton Food, located in New York, and operating since 1973.
 
Good things take time.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Waiting And Patience.
 
Your next meeting will be more productive.
 
Someday everything will all make perfect sense.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Words Heal Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Every task can be accomplished by a person of resolution.

You always bring others happiness.
 
Never kiss an elephant on the lips.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Elephants Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
A signature reveals a person’s character . . . and sometimes even their name.
 
Only eat fresh fish, fresh vegetables, and ripened rice.
 
Do something new each day.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Today And The Present Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
A cheerful message is on its way to you.
 
Pass no day idly, youth does not return.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Idleness And Industriousness Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
There is dew for every blade of grass.
 
There are customers for all sorts of goods.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Differences And Individuality Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
You will think for yourself when you stop letting others think for you.
 
Your mind is your greatest asset. Guard it well.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Minds And Thinking Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
You will soon be crossing the great waters.
 
You are about to become $17.95 poorer ($12.95 if you had the buffet).
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poverty And Prosperity Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
The first step to better times is to imagine them.
 
You cannot open a book without learning something.
 
You will soon witness a miracle.
 
The truly generous share, even with the undeserving.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Charitable Giving And Helping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
I am very fortunate to be a cookie. My friend was a ham sandwich, and he did not fare so well.
 
Decide what you want and go for it.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Choices And Decisions Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
You are a practical person with your feet on the ground.
 
You must play the game to win.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Competitions And Competing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Allow your mind to absorb new knowledge.
 
When you see an opportunity, act.
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Emulate what you admire in others.
 
You are stunningly attractive.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Appearances And Looks Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
You do not need the answers to all of life’s questions.
 
All of the efforts you are making will ultimately pay off.
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Some dream of great fortunes, while others dream of great fortune cookies.
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You know where you are going and how to get there.
 
Your difficulties will strengthen you.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Difficult Present Times Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider.
 
You are about to finish reading a fortune cookie message.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Reading And Books Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
You are admired for your talent and ability.
 
Your biggest virtue is your modesty.
 
Progress will come with hard work.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Continuing And Progressing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
You will be successful in your work.
 
Living with a commitment to excellence will take you far.
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You are a person of another place and time.
 
Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Time Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Great distances are covered one step at a time.
 
Your first love has never forgotten you.
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Relatives are coming to visit.
 
It is a great year for those who are cheerful and optimistic.
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Allow compassion to guide your decisions.
 
Dedicate yourself with a calm mind to the task at hand.
 
You will make changes for the better.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Changing And Adjusting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
You are a very fortunate cookie, because you are able to make money and hold on to it.
 
Be cautious of cookies bearing fortunes.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Accidents And Safety Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
You have charm and a winning personality.
 
Tell them before it is too late.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Parenthood And Parenting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
The best is yet to come . . . dessert!
 
You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy.
 
A dream you have will come true.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Goals And Planning Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
There is mutual love between people of a creed, mutual jealousy between people of a trade.
 
You will succeed because most people are lazy.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read How To Be Successful Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Best to keep your plans secret for now.
 
Fortune cookie very busy right now, please make your own fortune, writing on the line below.
________________________________________________________.
 
Today will be yesterday tomorrow.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Past - Present - Future Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
You have an ambitious nature and will make a name for yourself.
 
You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Problems And Solutions Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Generosity can repay itself sooner than you might imagine.
 
It is the beautiful bird that is caged.
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Rizaelnig you can raed this mepsislled fnurote will be the hgihgliht of your day.
 
You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read How To Make And Keep Friends Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
You are one smart cookie!
 
Your dreams are worth your best efforts to achieve them.
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The seeds of an idea you planted long ago finally blossom.
 
You have the incredible power to write your own fortune, but you first need a tiny strip of paper to write it on, like one of those that can be found inside a fortune cookie.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Personal Destiny Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Who is without flaw?
 
There are pictures in poems, and poems in pictures.
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You have been selected for a secret mission by someone at the North Pole.
 
To make a worthwhile person of yourself, you must toil; if you do not, you will not.
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You are heading in the right direction.
 
Expect great things and great things will come.
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We are MFOL! . . . do one thing different today . . .

Mnemonics And Memory Aids

​What is a mnemonic, or mnemonic device? A mnemonic is anything which helps in memorization or recall of knowledge or information. Mnemonics can be fun and imaginative, helping to make learning more similar to play than to work. They are not just for students; anyone, including workers, hobbyists, and fun-seekers, can take advantage of their usefulness to help them further along in the endeavors they are pursuing.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Daffynitions And Definitions Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
General Knowledge Mnemonics
 
Colors of the Rainbow
The colors of the rainbow in the visible spectrum are red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. Mnemonics for remembering them include the following.
- Roy G. Biv
- Richard Of York Gave Battle In Vain
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‘Handedness’ is a word referring to which of the two hands a typical human uses most. There are left-handers, right handers, mixed-handers, ambidextrous humans, and doubtless other types. Hands are handy things to have, but have you ever noticed that dogs get along fine without hands?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Domestic Dogs Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Ways To Remember
 
Which one is my left hand?
     It’s sometimes hard to know.
But I have a special way
     That I will share and show.
Put both hands out in front of you.
     Then it is easy to tell.
‘Cause when you straighten out your thumbs
     The left hand makes an “L.”
 
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poetic Epigrams Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Can’t tell your left from your right? Try this nifty little memory aid: Hold up both of your hands in front of your face with your palms facing away from you. The thumb of one of your hands forms a letter ‘L’ with your other four fingers. This is your left hand - ‘L’ for left. Now when someone says, “Look to your left,” or the navigation system in a vehicle says, “Turn left onto Library Street,” you know just what to do!
 
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Days In The Months
 
Thirty days has September,
     April, June, and November;
All the rest have thirty-one
     Excepting February alone,
To which we twenty-eight assign
     Till leap year makes it twenty-nine.
 
By Author Unknown
 
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Metric System
The prefixes of the metric system of measure from largest to smallest units are Kilo, Hecto, Deka, Base, Deci, Centi, and Milli. They can be memorized with the mnemonic, “King Henry dieted by drinking chocolate milk.”

Achievement Mnemonics
 
Goals
SMART Goals are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-Bound.
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Cooperation
The benefit of teamwork is spelled out in the acronym TEAM: Together Everyone Achieves More.
 
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Studying For Tests
BREAK: Break memorization into short time periods, Recite information aloud, Establish mnemonics, Always try to picture information in your mind, Key words help.

​Treating Sprains
For ankle sprains or sprains in other body parts, there is a specific order for treating the injury, known as RICE.
 
Rest the injured area.
Ice the sprain.
Compress with a wrap or bandage.
Elevate the injured area.
 
A further necessary step may be to seek immediate medical assistance, such as that of paramedics or ambulance workers, emergency responders, doctors, hospitals, clinics, and so forth. Although clowns are useful for many things, this might not be one of those situations that calls for clowns.
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​English Grammar Mnemonics
 
Coordinating Conjunctions
The seven coordinating conjunctions in English can be arranged to form the acronymic mnemonic FANBOYS: For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So.
 
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Parts Of Speech
 
Nouns and Verbs
Nouns are persons, or places, or things
Such as Benjamin, Egypt, or wings.
Verbs cause them to move
As this sentence will prove:
“When Benjamin sings, Egypt swings!”
 
Adverbs
On adverbs we always rely
To tell where or when, how or why,
And to what extent, too
As ‘exceedingly few’
Tells about elephants in the sky.
 
Prepositions
If you want to locate or position
Some thing, use a good preposition.
To, around, in, and out,
Up and down, or about
Put things in their place or condition.
 
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poems And Poetry Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
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Parts of Speech
An acronymic mnemonic for the nine parts of speech is APAPANVIC, standing for: Articles, Pronouns, Adjectives, Prepositions, Adverbs, Nouns, Verbs, Interjections, Conjunctions.
 
Affect or effect? The word ‘raven,’ a type of bird, can be helpful in knowing whether to use ‘affect’ or ‘effect.’ RAVEN is a mnemonic for ‘Remember, Affect is a Verb and Effect is a Noun.’
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Birds Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
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Vowels
The five vowels of the alphabet can be memorized with the mnemonic, “All elephants insure orange umbrellas,” representing a, e, i, o, u. This does not include the letter ‘y’ which can be either a consonant or a vowel depending on its place in a word.
 
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Spelling Rule
 
I before E,
     Except after C,
Or when sounded like A,
     As in Neighbor and Weigh.
 
By Author Unknown
 
The following sixteen words are exceptions to the ‘i before e’ rule: seize, weird, neither, either, foreign, sovereign, forfeit, counterfeit, leisure, heifer, protein, height, sleight, feisty, seismograph, and kaleidoscope. The list may not be complete, because new words seem to somehow magically appear out of nowhere all the time.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Magic And Illusion Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
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Word Spellings Mnemonics
 
A mnemonic for spelling the similar sounding names Frances and Francis is ‘FrancEs = hErs’ and FrancIs = hIs.’
 
A mnemonic for spelling the word ‘necessary’ is ‘A shirt is necessary,’ because a shirt has ‘one collar’ and ‘two sleeves,’ while the word ‘necessary’ has one letter ‘c’ and two letter ‘s’s.’
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Attire And Accessories Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
A mnemonic for spelling the state and the river ‘Mississippi’ is to break the word into smaller pieces and then rhythmically sing or chant the result: M-i-s-s- I-s-s- I-p-p- I!
 
Gray or grey? To determine the correct spelling for the color commonly thought of as being somewhere between black and white, use the mnemonic ‘grAy for America, ‘grEy’ for England.
 
To remember the difference between the words dessert and desert, remember that dessert has two s’s, just like strawberry shortcake.
 
- Arithmetic: A raccoon in the house may eat the ice cream.
- Because: Big elephants can always understand small elephants.
- Does: Daddy only eats sandwiches.
- Friend: Fred rushed in eating nine doughnuts.
- Geography: George’s elderly ornery grandfather rode a pig home yesterday.
- Laugh: Laughing aunts under green hats.
- Necessary: Not every cat eats sardines, some are really yucky.
- Mnemonic: Men never eat money or nest in cages.
- Ought: Only unique goats have this.
- Rhythm: Rhythm helps you talented hipsters move.
- Tomorrow: Talking of my orangish-red rose on Wednesday.
- When spelling stationery, think of the e in envelope.
Can you create more mnemonics for words that are difficult to spell?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Word Spellings Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
To remember the difference between words ‘principle’ and ‘principal,’ think of the letters p-a-l at the end of principal and then visualize the principal of your school as your principled princely pal.
 
At MFOL! we made up our own mnemonic for spelling the word ‘kaleidoscope,’ simply by putting spaces between some of the letters in the word: ‘kale i do scope’ or ‘Kale I do scope.’ Kale is a green leafy vegetable, and scope has to do with seeing; therefore, Kale I do scope = I see Kale. We cannot really see Kale through our kaleidoscope, but we could make a kaleidoscope and call it our Kale I Do Scope . . . okay, let’s not take this ridiculousness any further . . .
 
Mnemonic Devices Can Help in Memorizing
- Birthdays
- Dates
- Faces
- Phrases in foreign languages
- Names
- Order in which things have occurred or are to be done
- Shopping lists
- Subjects in school
- To do lists
Can you think of other uses for mnemonics?

Science Mnemonics
 
The Scientific Method, or What do scientists do all day? Answer: Question, research, hypothesis, experiment, conclusion, report. A mnemonic for remembering this is ‘Quickly run home eating chewy raisins.’

How is mnemonic pronounced? The word mnemonic is pronounced as nuh-mah-nik, with the letter ‘m’ at the beginning of the word being silent, similar to the way the letter ‘g’ at the beginning of the word gnu is silent.
 
Does anyone have a mnemonic that is useful for remembering how to spell the word mnemonic?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Questions And Queries Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
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Electromagnetic Spectrum
The electromagnetic spectrum is broken down into waves or rays, called Radio, Micro, Infrared, Visible, Ultraviolet, X-Rays, and Gama. A mnemonic for remembering this is, ‘Real monkeys invent very useful X-mas gifts.’
 
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Speed of Light
The speed of light is 299,792,458 meters per second. A mnemonic for this is, ‘We guarantee certainly, clearly referring to this light mnemonic,’ in which the number of letters in each word represents a number in the speed of light.
 
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Gemology and Geology
An acronymic mnemonic for memorizing the Beryl group of gemstones is G.E.M.M.A.H.: Goshenite, Emerald, Maxixe, Moganite, Aquamarine, Heliodor.
 
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Animals
 
A mnemonic for determining the difference between a Dromedary Camel and a Bactrian camel is to imagine the first letter of each animal’s name lying flat on its back. Tilt the letter ‘D’ for Dromedary over, and you see one hump - Dromedaries are camels that have one hump. Tilt the letter ‘B’ for Bactrian over, and you see two humps - Bactrians are camels that have two humps. If you see more than two humps on a camel, you might need to visit an eye doctor.
 
A visual mnemonic for determining whether an animal is an alligator or a crocodile may be to remember that the word ‘Alligator’ starts with the pointy letter ‘A,’ and the word ‘Crocodile’ starts with a rounded letter C. An Alligator with its broad, rounded snout (mouth and nose) has the pointy letter A at the beginning of its name, and a Crocodile with its narrow pointy snout (mouth and nose) has the rounded letter C at the beginning of its name. Perhaps the two types of animals are contrarians who do not agree with their letters because they are disagreeable animals? It should be noted that this mnemonic is possibly more useful for identifying pictures of the animals, because in any real-life encounters with either type, you should not pause to visually examine them, but instead immediately get to safety before they can eat you.

​Geography Mnemonics
 
Earth’s Continents
Earth has seven continents, which are named Europe, Antarctica, Asia, Africa, Australia, North America, South America. A mnemonic for remembering them is as follows: Eat an alligator after a nighttime snack. Visualizing a green alligator may help.
 
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The Five Great Lakes of North America
The order of the North American Great Lakes from west to east, or from left to right when facing north, and coincidentally, from largest to smallest in size, is Superior, Michigan, Huron, Erie, Ontario. Mnemonics for remembering this include, ‘Saving money helps every one’ and ‘Super man helps every one.’ The Great Lakes are the largest group of freshwater lakes in the world.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Geography Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
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The Countries of Central America
Big gorillas eat honey, never cheesy pizza.
Belize, Guatemala, El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Panama.
 
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Earth’s Oceans
The Earth’s five oceans in order from largest to smallest are Pacific, Atlantic, Indian, Southern, and Arctic. A mnemonic for remembering them is, ‘Primitives allow irritatingly simple art.’
 
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American States
The states just west of the Mississippi River from north to south are Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri, Arkansas and Louisiana. A mnemonic for the names of the states is MIMAL the Silly Elf, based on the shapes of the states. Minnesota is his hat, Iowa is his face, Missouri is his body, Arkansas is his legs, and Louisiana is his boots. Look at a map for help in understanding this idea.
 
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Distance Measurement
‘5 Tomatoes’ is a mnemonic useful for recalling the number of feet in a mile, by restating it as ‘5-to-mate-oes’ meaning 5,280 feet, which equals one mile. George walked a mile while eating five tomatoes?

Mathematics Mnemonics
 
Order of Operations in Arithmetic
 
The order of operations in arithmetic can be memorized with the aid of the mnemonic acronym GEMDAS, which stands for Groupings, Exponents, Multiplication, Division, Addition, Subtraction.
 
Groupings are mathematical expressions affected by grouping symbols such as parenthesis ( ), square brackets [ ], curly brackets { }, and the fraction bars — or /. Groupings can also include numbers raised to a power or exponentiation, such as 4³, in which 4 is the ‘base’ or ‘the number being raised,’ and 3 is the ‘exponent’ or ‘power.’
 
A further aid to memorization of the order of operations in arithmetic is to replace each letter in GEMDAS with a word, to create the sentence, “George, Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally.” GEMDAS is a ‘gem’ of a mnemonic.
 
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Pi Mnemonics
 
Pi expressed to seven decimal places is 3.1415927. A mnemonic for memorizing the number is, ‘May I have a large container of coffee?’ with the number of letters in each word representing a digit in the number as follows.
‘May’ has 3 letters, ‘I’ has 1, ‘have’ has 4, ‘a’ has 1, ‘large’ has 5, ‘container’ has 9, ‘of’ has 2, and ‘coffee’ plus the ‘?’ is 7.
 
The mathematical value π or pi, expressed to thirty-one decimal places, is 3.1415926535897932384626433832795.
 
The letter count of each word in the following poem represents a number in pi. The first word, Sir, contains 3 letters representing the whole number 3 to the left of the decimal point, and the number of letters in each word following the word Sir is a number to the right of the decimal point.
 
Sir,
I bear a rhyme excelling
In mystic force, and magic spelling
Celestial sprites elucidate
All my own striving can’t relate
Or locate they who can cogitate
And so finally terminate.
Finis.
 
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Roman Numerals
Can you guess what the following mnemonic is for? I value xylophones, like cows dig milk. The first letter of each word is one of the Roman numerals: I = 1, V = 5, X = 10, L = 50, C = 100, D = 500, M = 1,000.

​Biology Mnemonics
 
Order of Taxonomy or Taxonomic Hierarchies
Species are organized under a number of categories. The order, from largest to most specific, is: Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species. Some mnemonics for remembering them include the following.
- Kids prefer cheese over fried green spinach.
- King Philip came over for good soup.
- Kings play chess on fine glass sets.
 
Human Anatomy
The bones of the lower limbs are Hip, Femur, Patella, Tibia, Fibula, Tarsals, Metatarsals, Phalanges. A mnemonic for them is, ‘Help Five Police To Find Ten Missing Prisoners.’
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Anatomy And Physiology Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Essential Amino Acids
The essential amino acids are Phenylalanine, Valine, Threonine, Tryptophan, Isoleucine, Methionine, Histidine, Arginine, Leucine, Lysine. A mnemonic for memorizing them is ‘Pvt. Tim Hall,’ in which ‘Pvt.’ is an abbreviation for Private, one of the ranks of enlisted soldiers in the United States Army.

​History Mnemonics
 
Christopher Columbus
 
Columbus sailed the ocean blue,
In fourteen-hundred ninety-two.
 
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read History Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
‘Will A Jolly Man Make A Just But Harshly Treated President?’ is a mnemonic for the last names of the first eleven Presidents of the United States of America, in order of their terms in office:
George Washington (1789 - 1797)
John Adams (1797 - 1801)
Thomas Jefferson (1801 - 1809)
James Madison (1809 - 1817)
James Monroe (1817 - 1825)
John Quincy Adams (1825 - 1829)
Andrew Jackson (1829 - 1837)
Martin Van Buren (1837 - 1841)
William Henry Harrison (1841)
John Tyler (1841 - 1845)
James Knox Polk (1845 - 1849)
If you only need to memorize the first eight, you might use the mnemonic, ‘Will a jolly man make a joyous visitor?’

​The Bible
 
Old Testament
‘God Equals Light, Not Darkness’ is a mnemonic for the first five books of the Old Testament of The Bible: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy.

Civics And Government Mnemonics
 
The Articles of the Constitution
The seven articles or sections of the United States Constitution which detail the functions of government are as follows.
 
Article I - The Legislative Branch
Article II - The Executive Branch
Article III - The Judicial Branch
Article IV - The States
Article V - Amendment
Article VI - Debts, Supremacy, Oaths
Article VII - Ratification
 
A mnemonic for memorizing the names of the seven articles or sections is, ‘Large elephants jump slowly and descend rapidly,’ in which the first letter of each word in the sentence is the same as the first letter in the first key word of the names of the articles or sections.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Elephants Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

​Astronomy Mnemonics
 
Basic Solar System
Some mnemonics for the eight planets, or Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, plus one dwarf planet Pluto, in order of distance from the Sun star, are as follows.
My very easy method just speeds up naming planets.
My very educated minister just showed us nine planets.
My very excited mother just served us nine pies.
 
All-Inclusive Solar System
All of the planets and all of the dwarf planets in order from the Sun star outward are Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Ceres, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, Haumea, Makemake, and Eris. Some mnemonics for the eight planets plus the four dwarf planets in order from the Sun outward are as follows.
- My very exciting mermaid career just sank underwater. Now, pedestrian hobbies mean everything.
- ‘Man,’ Voldemort exclaimed, ‘my catastrophic jinx shall utterly nuke Potter!’ Harry’s Move: ‘Expelliarmus!’
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Stars And Astronomy Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

​Names And Titles Mnemonics
 
- When you meet someone for the first time, say the person’s name aloud, as for example, “I am pleased to meet you, Margaret.” Use the person’s name in conversation, as for example, “I agree with your observation on that subject, Margaret.” Then, when parting, say the person’s name again, as for example, “I hope to see you again, Margaret.” Repetition is one of the best ways to place information in memory.
- Associate the person’s name with a place, school, team, church, company, or other organization, as for example, ‘Steve from New Brunswick’ or ‘Karen with the Christian Polo Players Club’ or ‘Martin Shoreberg of Custom Electronics.’
- Think of a short rhyme using the person’s name, such as ‘Jed the Red’ or ‘Stan the Man with the Hopeful Plan’ or ‘Carmella and her longtime fella.’ You might not want to say the rhyme aloud, to avoid embarrassing the person and yourself, and just think it silently to yourself.
- If it helps, write the person’s name down on paper, with any information that helps you make the connection, such as a telephone number, company name, or address.
- Can you think of other tips for remembering people’s names?
 
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The English Or United Kingdom Peerage
 
The titles of the five ranks of peerage in ascending order are: baron, viscount, earl, marquess, duke.
 
The title ‘Lord’ is used most often by barons who are rarely addressed with any other. The style of this address is ‘Lord __________________,’ as, for example, ‘Alfred Tennyson, 1st Baron Tennyson,’ commonly known as ‘Lord Tennyson.’
 
The ranks of marquess, earl, and viscounts commonly use lord as well, with viscounts using the same style as used for baron. However, marquises and earls have a slightly different form of address where they can be called either the ‘Marquess/Earl of  __________________,’ or ‘Lord  __________________.’
 
Dukes also use the style, ‘Duke of  __________________,’ but it is not acceptable to refer to them as ‘Lord __________________.’ Dukes are formally addressed as ‘Your Grace,’ rather than ‘My Lord.’
 
A mnemonic for remembering the titles in ascending order of rank is, “Bobbies very eagerly munch doughnuts.”

​Do you know you can create your own mnemonics, to help you memorize nearly anything, and that they can be not just in the form of words, but also songs and pictures? Just put your imagination to work.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Creativity And Innovation Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
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Happiness

​“There is always something to be happy about.” -Author Unknown
 
“The happiest people seem to be those who have no particular cause for being happy except that they are so.” -William R. Inge (William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954)): as quoted in “The Reader’s Digest” (1983), Volume 123, page 79
 
“A happy life is built up of little clumps of violets noticed along the roadside.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Flowering Plants And Flowers Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Cheerfulness
 
I’m glad the sky is painted blue
     And the Earth is painted green
And such a lot of nice fresh air
     All sandwiched in between.
 
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poetic Epigrams Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“You have it easily in your power to increase the total sum of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))
 
“Happiness is a choice.” -Barry Neill Kaufman (born 1942) at http://www.barryneilkaufman.com/
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Choices And Decisions Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.” -Aeschylus (about 525 B.C.E. - about 456 B.C.E.): “Agamemnon,” 928
 
“When you seek happiness for others, you will find it for yourself.” -Lori Moreno
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Adventure And Exploration Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Being happy never goes out of style.” -Lily Pulitzer
 
“Happiness seems made to be shared.” [translation to English]
“Le bonheur semble fait pour être partagé.” [original French]
-Pierre Corneille (1606 - 1684): “Notes par Rochefoucauld”
 
“Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect; it just means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.” -Author Unknown
 
“Happiness walks on busy feet.” -Kitte Turmell
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Walking And Ambulating Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“It’s being so cheerful as keeps me going.” -Mona Lott’s catchphrase on “ITMA” (1939 - 1949), a BBC radio program; Mona Lott is a character portrayed by Joan Harben (1909 - 1953)
 
“Happiness will bring you good luck.” -Author Unknown: fortune cookie saying
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Chance And Luck Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Happiness is not perfected until it is shared.” -Jane Porter (1776 - 1850): as quoted in Josiah Hotchkiss Gilbert: “Dictionary of Burning Words of Brilliant Writers” (1895), page 298

​“Not only is there a right to be happy, there is a duty to be happy. So much sadness exists in the world that we are all under obligation to contribute as much joy as lies within our powers.” -John Sutherland Bonnell (1893 - 1992)
 
“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009)) at https://www.JimRohn.com
 
“Life does not always meet our expectations, but that should not prevent us from seeking what happiness we can.” -Richard Parks: “Moon Viewing at Shijo Bridge” (2006), reprinted in Rich Horton, editor: “Fantasy: The Best of the Year 2007,” page 300
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Words Heal Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“A lot of happiness is overlooked because it doesn’t cost anything.” -Author Unknown
 
“There is no happiness except in the realization that we have accomplished something.” -Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)
 
“Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies.” -Gene Hill (Gene Atkins Hill (1928 - 1997))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Domestic Dogs Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Happiness! Can any human being undertake to define it for another?” -Dinah Craik (Dinah Maria Craik (born Dinah Maria Mulock (1826 - 1887))): “A Woman’s Thoughts About Women” (1858), Chapter 10
 
“Happiness is in the heart, not in circumstances or in things.” -Author Unknown
 
“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in the “Holy Bible,” (King James Version (1611)), ‘The Book of Proverbs,’ chapter 17, verse 22
 
“Happiness is a direction, not a destination.” -Author Unknown
 
“I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.” -Martha Washington (1731 - 1802)
 
“To me there is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy, we sow enormous benefits upon the world.” -Robert Louis Stevenson (Robert Louis Balfour Stevenson (1850 - 1894)): “Virginibus Puerisque, and Other Papers” (1877): Essay 3: ‘An Apology for Idlers,’ page 131
 
“Happiness is a way-station between too little and too much.” -Channing Pollock (1880 - 1946)
 
“How true it is that, if we are cheerful and contented, all nature smiles, the air seems more balmy, the sky clearer, the Earth has a brighter green . . . the flowers are more fragrant . . . and the Sun, Moon, and stars all appear more beautiful, and seem to rejoice with us.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))
 
“Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.” -William Cowper (1731 - 1800): “Task,” book III, line 41
 
“Whoever is happy will make others happy, too.” -Author Unknown
 
“Cheerful people live longest here on earth, afterward in our hearts.” -Author Unknown
 
Happiness: hap-pi-ness, ha-pē-nǝs, noun: A mental state of well-being characterized by positive emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Daffynitions And Definitions Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Happiness belongs to those who are sufficient unto themselves. For all external sources of happiness and pleasure, are by their very nature, highly uncertain, precarious, ephemeral, and subject to chance.” -Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860)
 
“Folks are generally as happy as they make up their minds to be.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Abraham Lincoln Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“The great end of all human industry, is the attainment of happiness. For this were arts invented, sciences cultivated, laws ordained, and societies modelled, by the most profound wisdom of patriots and legislators. Even the lonely savage, who lies exposed to the inclemency of the elements and the fury of wild beasts, forgets not, for a moment, this grand object, of his being.” -David Hume (1711 - 1776): “The Philosophical Works of David Hume” (1826), volume 3: ‘Essays, Moral, Political and Literary,’ Part 1, essay 16: ‘The Stoic,’ page 167
 
“Cheerful people, the doctors say, resist disease better than glum people. In other words, ‘The surly bird catches the germ.’” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Health And Health Practitioners Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“We deem those happy who, from the experience of life, have learned to bear its ills, without being overcome by them.” [translation to English]
Ducimus autem
Hos quoque felices, qui ferre incommoda vitæ,
Nec jactare jugum vita didicere magistra.
[original Latin]
-Decimus Junius Juvenalis (also known as Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis or simply Juvenal (about C.E. 55 - C.E. 128)): “Satires” (early 2nd century), XII, 20

​“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature.” -Marcus Aurelius (also known as Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (C.E. 121 - C.E. 180))
 
“Resolve to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845)
 
“Jumping for joy is good exercise.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Physical Fitness And Exercising Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“I do not know of any sure way of making others happy as being so oneself.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875)
 
“Spread happiness; a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” -Author Unknown
 
“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort.” -Elizabeth Gilbert (born 1969): “Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India, and Indonesia” (2006) memoir book
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Efforts And Benefits Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“The happiness of life . . . is made up of minute fractions - the little soon-forgotten charities of a kiss, a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment in the disguise of playful raillery, and the countless other infinitesimals of pleasurable thought and genial feeling.” -Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834): ‘The Improvisatore’ poem published in S. C. Hall, editor: “The Amulet for 1828”
 
“Happiness doesn’t depend on what we have, but it does depend on how we feel toward what we have. We can be happy with little and miserable with much.” -William Dempster Hoard (1836 - 1918)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poverty And Prosperity Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Of all the means which wisdom acquires to ensure happiness throughout the whole of life, by far the most important is friendship.” -Epicurus (341 B.C.E. - 270 B.C.E.): “Sovran Maxims” (English: “Sovereign Maxims” or “Principle Doctrines”), Number 28
 
“Happiness is not a possession to be prized, it is a quality of thought, a state of mind.” -Daphne du Maurier (1907 - 1989)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Minds And Thinking Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime.” -Author Unknown
 
“Now and then, it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” -Guillaume Apollinaire (Wilhelm Apollinaris de Dostrowitsky (1880 - 1918))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Waiting And Patience.
 
“Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling.” -Margaret Runbeck (Margaret Lee Runbeck (1900 - 1956)): “Time for Each Other” (1944)
 
“It is the inalienable right of all to be happy.” -Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815 - 1902)
 
True happiness is to no spot confined.
If you preserve a firm and constant mind,
’Tis* here, ’tis everywhere.
-John Huddlestone Wynne (1743 - 1788): “A General History of Ireland” (1772)
*’tis: it is
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poems And Poetry Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“A multitude of small delights constitutes happiness.” -Charles Baudelaire (Charles Pierre Baudelaire (1821 - 1867))
 
“The greatest happiness is to be that which one is.” -Theodore Herzl (1860 - 1904)

“A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.” -Hugh Downs (Hugh Malcolm Downs (born 1921)): as quoted in Roy B. Zuck: “The Speaker’s Quote Book: Over 4,500 Illustrations” (1997), page 185
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Self-Concept And Self-Identity Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“A light heart lives long.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)
 
“A happy life consists not in the absence, but in the mastery of hardships.” -Helen Keller: “The Simplest Way to be Happy” (1933)
 
“The happiest people are the ones who make others happy.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read How To Be Happy Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“The happiest people are those who think the most interesting thoughts. Those who decide to use leisure as a means of mental development, who love good music, good books, good pictures, good company, good conversation, are the happiest people in the world. And they are not only happy in themselves, they are the cause of happiness in others.” -William L. Phelps (William Lyon Phelps (1865 - 1943))
 
“What is happiness and unhappiness? It depends so little on the circumstances; it depends really only on what happens inside a person. I am grateful for every day . . . and that makes me happy.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906 - 1945)
 
“In whatever situation we are placed, our greater or less degree of happiness must be derived from ourselves. Happiness is in a great measure the result of our own dispositions and actions.” -Hannah Webster Foster (about 1758 - 1840)
 
“Be happy. It’s one way of being wise.” -Sidonie Gabrielle Colette (also known simply as Colette (1873 - 1954))
 
“Happiness is not an ideal of reason but of imagination.” -Immanual Kant (1724 - 1804): “Fundamentals Principles of the Metaphysics of Ethics” (1785)
 
“Happiness is no laughing matter.” -Richard Whately (1787 - 1863): “Thoughts and Apophthegms from the Writings of Archbishop Richard Whately” (1856)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Laughter And Laughing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“If happiness truly consists in physical ease and freedom of care, then the happiest individual would not be either a man or a woman; it would be, I think, an American cow.” -William Lyon Phelps (William Lyon ‘Billy’ Phelps (1865 - 1943))
 
“Happiness is surely the best teacher of good manners: only the unhappy are churlish in deportment.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)): “Where the Blue Begins” (1922)
 
“You cannot always have happiness, but you can always give happiness.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Charitable Giving And Helping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“A single joy can scatter a hundred griefs.” -Author Unknown
 
Who is the happiest of men? He who values the merits of others,
And in their pleasure takes joy, even as though ’twere his own.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832): ‘Distichs’ as quoted in Edgar Alfred Bowring, translator: “The Poems of Geothe” (1853)
 
“Happiness is not a matter of events, it depends upon the tides of the mind.” -Alice Meynell (1847 - 1922)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Emotions And Feelings Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1788))
 
“Happiness depends upon ourselves.” -J. A. K. Thomson: interpretative summarization of Aristotle (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.): “Nicomachean Ethics,” book 1, section 9
 
“The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.” -William Morris (1834 - 1896)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Life And Living Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“He is happy that knoweth not himself to be otherwise.” -Thomas Fuller (1608 - 1661)
 
“An effort made for the happiness of others lifts us above ourselves.” -Lydia M. Child (Lydia Maria Child (born Lydia Maria Francis (1802 - 1880)))
 
“The joy that you give to others is the joy that comes back to you.” -John Greenleaf Whittier (1807 - 1892)
 
Affirmation: I choose happiness!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Affirmations And Self-Talk Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Happiness is surely the best teacher of good manners: only the unhappy are churlish in deportment.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957)): “Where the Blue Begins” (1922)
 
“The happy man is not he who seems thus to others, but who seems thus to himself.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)
 
“Some pursue happiness, while others create it.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Differences And Individuality Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them.” -Leo Tolstoy -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910))
 
“There are only two roads that lead to something like human happiness. They are marked by the words: love and achievement . . . In order to be happy oneself it is necessary to make at least one other person happy . . . The secret of human happiness is not in self-seeking but in self-forgetting.” -Theodor Reik (1888 - 1969): “A Psychologist Looks at Love” (1957), chapter 3, page 194
 
“Seek lifelong progress toward happierness.” -Arthur C. Brooks: ‘Jung’s Five Pillars of a Good Life,’ published in “The Atlantic” (2024) magazine
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Continuing And Progressing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Your happiness is your gift to the world.” -Robert Holden
 
“Happiness is the atmosphere in which all things grow.” -Author Unknown
 
We are MFOL! . . . spread the merriment . . .

Scarecrows

The Scarecrow
 
Scarecrow standing in the field
     On a bright and sunny day,
Don’t forget to do your job -
     Scare the hungry crows away!
 
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poetic Epigrams Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Question: What was the Scarecrow character in the “The Wizard of Oz” (1939) movie seeking?
Answer: The Scarecrow in the “Wizard of Oz” wanted the Wizard to give him a brain. Next question: What did the Wizard actually give to the Scarecrow?
 
Scarecrows
 
We’re the farmer’s scarecrows
     We scare away the birds,
We keep the farmer’s corn safe
     Without any words;
But when Hallowe’en comes
     We jump out of the ground
And we scare the boys and girls
     When they come walking ’round.
Boo!
 
By Author Unknown: can be sung to the same tune as that of “Sing a Song of Sixpence”
 
Apparently, scarecrows are effective at scaring not only birds, but people as well, which may be why they frequently feature in Halloween decorations and scary movies.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Fears And Courage Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Whitney: Why did the scarecrow get a promotion at work?
Whitley: Because he was simply outstanding in his field!
 
The most scarecrows ever in one location was 3,812 on 7 August 2014, at the National Forest Adventure Farm in Burton-upon-Trent, Staffordshire, United Kingdom.

Scarecrow: Agrarian spook.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Horror Stories Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Scarecrow Joel
 
There once was a scarecrow name Joel
Who couldn’t scare crows, save his soel.
     But the crows put the scare
     Into Joel. He’s not there
Any more. That’s his hat on the poel.
 
By David Mccord (David Thompson Watson Mccord (1897 - 1997))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Limericks Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

​The Scarecrow
 
The farmer made a scarecrow
     And stuffed it full of straw.
He put it in the cornfield,
     but the crows laughed, “Haw-caw.”
 
One crow sat on Scarecrow’s hat.
     He was not scared at all.
That scarecrow did not scare
     A single crow away all Fall!
 
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Laughter And Laughing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

​“Life is populated with scarecrows - all those people and things that seem so scary and trouble our sleep. Isn’t it nice to know that most of them turn out to be made of nothing but straw?” -Jerry Spinelli
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Overcoming Fears And Becoming Courageous Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Face your scarecrows.” -Author Unknown
 
“Most of the fears in life are only the scarecrows; once you realize this, the field is all yours to benefit from!” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Opportunities And Possibilities Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Scarecrows can be made in many different ways, using any available materials and human imagination. A typical scarecrow with a human shape can be made by sticking a pole in the ground in a farm field or garden. A shorter cross-stick is attached to it and becomes the arms. The head can be a pumpkin, a pie tin, or any round object. Next, the scarecrow is dressed with worn out clothes, and hat, and if desired, facial features such as eyes and mouth. Alternatively, a dummy can be made from stuffing old clothes with straw and tying it to a pole for support. A head can be made by stuffing an old burlap sack or pillowcase with straw, and then attaching a hat. Also effective as an alternative to a scarecrow is a shiny metal pie tin or pan hung from a rope tied between two poles or to a fence; a slight breeze will cause it to move, attracting the eyes of birds and scaring them so that they will fly away.

Hey, wait a second . . . that scarecrow appears to be a crow . . .
 
Scarecrow, Scarecrow
 
Scarecrow, scarecrow,
     How scary can you be?
You scared the crows,
     But you didn’t scare me!
 
By Author Unknown
 
Scarecrow: Cop of the cornfield.

Owl figures and spinning noisemaker whirligigs scare away crows, pigeons, and other birds and animals, protecting crops and keeping human territories free of noisy, messy, intrusive creatures.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Birds Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
While scarecrows are often thought of as having a human shape, some farmers and gardeners build whirligig scarecrows, which revolved like small windmills, to scare away birds.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Creativity And Innovation Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
A scarecrow scares away crows and other birds and animals that eat crops.

The Scarecrow
 
Five fat blackbirds,
     Sitting in the straw.
Laughing at the scarecrow,
     Caw! Caw! Caw!
 
Five fat blackbirds,
     Eating all the corn.
Silly old birds,
     It’s going to storm.
 
Poor sad scarecrow,
     Sitting on a fence.
“Boo!” yelled the scarecrow,
     Away they went!
 
By Author Unknown

Scarecrow: Guardian of the Garden.
 
Say this tongue twister three times fast: Seth said some serious scarecrows scare crows silly.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Tongue Twisters Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Jake: If there are scarecrows, should there also be scarecows?
Jack: Moo-oo!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Cattle Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“The scarecrow was now the ruler of the Emerald City, and although he was not a wizard, the people were proud of him. “For,” they said, “there is not another city in all the world that is ruled by a stuffed man.” And, so far as they knew, they were quite right.” -L. Frank Baum (Lyman Frank Baum (1856 - 1919))
 
“Scarecrow: One who takes as a compliment the words, ‘You’re scary.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Encouragement And Encouraging Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

The Scarecrow
 
The scarecrow stands
     With hanging hands,
Beside the farmer’s stile.
     He scares the jay
And crow away.
     With just a painted smile.
 
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Smiles And Smiling Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

The Scarecrow
 
Here is the scarecrow, see him stand
     Upon the newly planted land;
A figure rugged and forlorn,
     A silent watcher of the corn.
 
His dangling legs, his arms spread wide,
     A lone man of the countryside;
Uncouth, the butt of pen and tongue,
     Unheralded, unsought, unsung
 
To you, old scarecrow, then this lay
     To cheer you on your lonely way;
Would that all men, their whole lives through,
     Served some good purpose same as you.
 
By Annie Stone
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Inspiration And Motivation Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

“A king may be a tool, a thing of straw; but if he serves to frighten our enemies and secure our property, it is well enough; a scarecrow is a thing of straw, but it protects the corn.” -Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744)

I’m A Little Scarecrow
 
I’m a little scarecrow,
     Raggedy and worn.
I wear a hat,
     And a shirt that’s torn.
 
When the crows come,
     I wave and shout,
“Away from my garden -
     Get out, out, out!”
 
By Author Unknown

Esther: What is a scarecrow’s favorite food?
Estelle: Straw-berries!
 
Further fantastically fascinating frivolity follows . . . on MFOL!

Vehicles And Driving

“Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.” -E. B. White (Elwyn Brooks White (1899 - 1985)): “Fro-Joy” (January 1940)
 
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cargo.
Cargo, who?
Cargo, “Beep, beep!”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Knock-Knock Jokes Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Automobiling is a joy, sublime,
     If you’ve enough gas and your tires are fine!
-Gertrude Tooley Buckingham: “Automobiling and Hiking” (1940’s)
 
Child: Mom, what happens to a car when it is too old to run anymore?
Mother: Someone sells it to your father.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Homes And Families Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“I had to stop driving my car for a while . . . the tires got dizzy.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955)) at https://www.stevenwright.com/
 
“Law of Driver Impatience: If you change lanes because traffic seems to be moving too slow and you are impatient, the lane you were in will start to move faster than the one you have moved to.” -Author Unknown
 
Reckless automobile driving arouses the suspicion that much of the horse sense of the good old days was possessed by the horse. The reason there were fewer wrecks in the horse-and-buggy era was that the driver did not depend wholly on his own judgement.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Horses And Ponies Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Another often-overlooked benefit of the introduction of the automobile is the resulting decrease in horse stealing.” -Author Unknown
 
“You push the pedal in the middle to slow down, you turn this big round thing to go around corners, and the pedal on the right . . . when you want it to make more noise.” -Jeremy Clarkson, commenting on the VXR8
 
Sammy: Why couldn’t the rooster buy a car?
Amy: Because he couldn’t scratch up enough money.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Chickens Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
In 1894, there were only four automobiles in the United States of America. Imagine the traffic jams, or rather, the lack thereof!
 
“For every ‘Drive Safely’ sign, shouldn’t there be a ‘Resume Normal Driving’ sign?” -Robert Brault at rbrault.blogspot.com
 
A man in his beat-up old car drove up to a tollbooth. The toll collector said, “Two dollars.” The vehicle owner said, “Sold!”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Cheapskates And Misers Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.” -Dudley Moore
 
“I’ve found that an overlooked psychological factor contributing to auto accidents is the driver’s dislike for his car.” -Sheldon Zigelbaum
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Emotions And Feelings Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Neil: Which traffic light is the bravest?
Nell: The one that doesn’t turn yellow.
 
“Restore human legs as a means of travel. Pedestrians rely on food for fuel and need no special parking facilities.” -Lewis Mumford
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Environmentalism And Animal Rights Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
One rainy evening, my husband, John, and I emerged from a restaurant only to find that he had locked the keys in the car. He insisted he could open the door with a wire coat hanger, so we went back to the restaurant to get one. There were none to be found. John then ran to a department store a quarter-mile away and returned with a hanger. After a few attempts, he got the door open and we climbed in. As we sat there, soaked and cold, he stuck the hanger under his seat. With a smug grin, he said, “Now if this ever happens again, I’ll have one.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Foolish And Wise Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
A man was having trouble with his new car. He had added a carburetor that saved 30 percent on gas, a timer that saved 50 percent on gas, and spark plugs that saved 30 percent on gas. The trouble started when he drove ten miles and the gas tank overflowed.
 
Clementine: What kind of country would this be if everyone drove a pink car?
Lemuel: A pink carnation!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Flowering Plants And Flowers Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Mini Caught Speeding at Mach 3. A Belgian motorist has been sent a speeding ticket for traveling at 3,379 kilometers (2,100 miles) per hour. The ticket claimed he had been caught doing Mach 3 in his Mini in a Brussels city suburb. Police have apologized for the mistake, and have blamed a faulty radar. They said human error was to blame for sending out the ticket, even though it was clear the man’s car could not have been traveling at three times the speed of sound.
 
Glenn: Have you heard about the vehicle that runs on water?
Logan: Yes, I believe it is called a sailboat.
 
“The shortest distance between two points is under construction.” -Noelie Altito
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Geography Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

“Some people just don’t know how to drive. I call these people, ‘Everybody but me.’” -Author Unknown
 
“It was almost four of the afternoon and the traffic of the street had taken its customary leisurely drop before the next hour’s home-going hurry.” -Mary Hunter Austin: “№ 26 Jayne Street” (1920)
 
“Even though there are days I wish I could change some things that happened in the past, I realize there is a reason the rearview mirror is so small and the windshield is so big. Where you are headed is so much more important than what you have left behind.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Words Heal Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Neoautodentaphobia is a persistent fear of getting a dent in a new car.
 
A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation, she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. “Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court.” He smiled with delight. “Now sit down at that table and write, ‘I will not run a red light’ - five hundred times!”
 
Riddle: What has ten letters and starts with g-a-s?
Solution: An ‘automobile.’

During a countywide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to pull over to the curb. When the driver asked why he had been stopped, the officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him and asked, “Does your dog have a license?” “No,” the man said, “He doesn’t need one.” “Yes, he does,” answered the officer. “But,” protested the driver, “I always do all the driving.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Domestic Dogs Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Wilbur: What part of a vehicle causes the most accidents?
Wallace: A loose screw in the nut located just behind the steering wheel.
 
“What am I supposed to do with this?” grumbled the motorist as the clerk handed him a receipt for paying his traffic fine. “Keep it,” the clerk advised. “When you get four of them, you get a bicycle.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Bicycles And Bicycling Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Slow drivers are called ‘dinosaurs’ and fast drivers are called, “Did you see that?”
 
“Driving: Flying through the air while making intermittent contact with the road surface.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
 
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen - it said, ‘Parking Fine.’” -Tommy Cooper
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The Praise Project By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.” -Author Unknown
 
Deborah: How many dinosaurs will fit into a small car?
Debby: I don’t know, but sixteen small cars will fit into a dinosaur!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Dinosaurs Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Red Light: The place where you catch up with the motorist who passed you going 80 miles per hour a mile back.
 
“The car has become . . . an article of dress without which we feel uncertain, unclad, and incomplete.” -Marshall McLuhan: “Understanding Media” (1964)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Attire And Accessories Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Millicent: Where do vehicles get the most flat tires?
Milford: Where there is a fork in the road.
 
Bumper Sticker: If you think I’m a lousy driver, wait until you see me putt!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Bumper Stickers And License Plates Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Percival: What kind of driver never gets a speeding ticket?
Priscilla: A screwdriver.
 
Darlene: What model car is that you’re driving?
Darin: Well, it’s not so much a model as it is a bad example.
 
Motorist: Someone who keeps pedestrians in good running order.
 
“We are not proving ourselves spiritually worthy of our material progress. We have not been neighborly, courteous, and kind upon the highway. Our lack of decency toward our fellow men is a definite black mark against us.” -Cary T. Grayson
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Manners And Etiquette Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Libby: What happened when the wheel was invented?
Lovey: It caused a ‘revolution.’
 
“What a lucky thing the wheel was invented before the automobile; otherwise, can you imagine the awful screeching?” -Samuel Hoffenstein
 
Have you heard about the guy who was T-boned while making a U-turn on an S-Curve? He got an ‘A’ for being in an accident.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The Alphabet And Letters Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Sing While You Drive
 
At 45 miles per hour, sing:
     “Highways are Happy Ways.”
At 55 miles per hour, sing:
     “I’m But a Stranger Here, Heaven is My Home.”
At 65 miles per hour, sing:
     “Nearer, My God, to Thee!”
At 75 miles per hour, sing:
     “When the Roll is Called Up Yonder, I’ll Be There.”
At 85 miles per hour, sing:
     “Lord, I’m Coming Home.”
 
By Author Unknown
 
“Never buy a car you can’t push.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Wisdom And Advice Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955)) at https://www.stevenwright.com/
 
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.” -Author Unknown
 
“The longest journey begins with a single step, not with a turn of the ignition key.” -Edward Abbey
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Beginning And Starting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.” -Enzo Ferrari
 
Devon: How do you avoid being driven crazy?
Irving: Walk.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Walking And Ambulating Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
A man was driving along in his car when his wife called him on his cell phone. “Honey, be careful. I just heard on the news that there’s a car driving the wrong way on the freeway.” The man replied, “Only one - are you kidding? There must be hundreds of them!”
 
A woman who was speeding had an officer pull her to the side of the road. She did not have her seat belt on, so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window. After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, “I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?” “Yes, I do, officer,” she replied. “Well,” asked the officer, “do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?”
 
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called ‘rush hour’?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Questions And Queries Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

“The civilized man has built a coach, but has lost the use of his feet.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882): “Self-Reliance” (1841)

​Safety Belts
 
Safety belts, safety belts,
     Wear them all the way!
Every time you’re in the car,
     Every night and day, oh!
 
Safety belts, safety belts,
     Wear them round your lap!
Then before you start to ride,
     Everybody snap!
 
By Author Unknown, can be sung to the same tune as that of “Jingle Bells”

Jill’s car was unreliable, and she called John for a ride every time it broke down. One day John got yet another one of those calls. “What happened this time?” he asked. “My brakes went out,” Jill said. “Can you come to get me?” “Where are you?” John asked. “I’m in the drugstore,” Jill responded. “And where’s the car?” John asked. Jill replied, “It’s in here with me.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Accidents And Safety Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Mercy: How many sides does a stop sign have?
Piercy: Being octagons, stop signs have eight sides. (Alternative answer: Two: front and back, with eight ‘edges.’)
 
Jenny: What is the difference between a car and a cow?
Jennifer: A car only has one horn.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Cattle Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, ‘Why were you going so fast?’ I said, ‘See this thing my foot is on? It’s called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing? This steers it.’” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955)) at https://www.stevenwright.com/
 
Driving test question: What jumps up and down on the front of a motor vehicle to help a driver see at night?
a. A clown on a pogo stick.
b. Glow-in-the-dark rabbits.
c. Froglights.
d. Windshield wipers.
Answer: c. Froglights.
 
“What if you steered your vehicle with your feet, and the brakes and accelerator were controlled by your hands?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Anatomy And Physiology Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Leave sooner, drive slower, live longer.” -Author Unknown
 
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, and both of them could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself “I must be losing it. I am sure we just went through a red light.” After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have injured us both!” Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh, my goodness, am I driving?”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Age And Aging Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
 
“The hardest spot to find a parking place is usually in a one-car garage.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in Evan Esar (1899 - 1995): “20,000 Quips & Quotes” (1968)
 
“When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio. If all the stations are rock and roll, there’s a good chance the transmission is shot.” -Larry Lujack: as quoted in Robert Byrne: “The Fifth and Far Finer than the First Four 637 Best Things Anybody Ever Said” (1993)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Music Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“A car is a vehicle that moves due to the explosive combustion of gasoline in the engine and stops for some unknown reason.” [translation to English]
“Samochód - pojazd który rusza dzięki spalaniu się (eksplozjom) benzyny w silniku, a zatrzymuje się nie wiadomo dlaczego.” [original Polish]
-Author Unknown: as quoted in “Rojek’s Auto Dictionary” quoted in ‘Myśli ludzi wielkich, średnich oraz psa Fafika’ (English: ‘Thoughts from Great People, Average People, and from Fafik the Dog’) published in “Przekrój,” Nr. 939 - 940” (1963) magazine, page 17, at https://przekroj.org/en/
 
“If someone can’t operate a turn-signal properly, what makes that person think that he or she can operate the whole car?” -Author Unknown
 
Fools Indeed
 
What fools indeed we mortals are
     To lavish care upon a Car,
With ne’er a bit of time to see
     About our own machinery!
 
By John Kendrick Bangs (1862 - 1922)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Health And Health Practitioners Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

“The motor-car will help solve the congestion of traffic.” -A. J. Balfour (Arthur James Balfour (1848 - 1930)) (about 1910)
 
“Drive carefully enough for yourself and the other fellow too, because the chances are he isn’t.” -Don Herold (1889 - 1966): “Brother, Can You Spare Five Minutes?” (1934)
 
“The number of automobiles in the country is increasing at a rate that makes one wonder if a car-less man will not soon be a curiosity.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Spatula: An Illustrated Magazine for Pharmacists” (1919), ‘Edlets’
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Differences And Individuality Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Consider the man on horseback, and I have been a man on horseback for most of my life. Well, mostly he is a good man, but there is a change in him as soon as he mounts. Every man on horseback is an arrogant man, however gentle he may be on foot. The man in the automobile is one thousand times as dangerous. I tell you, it will engender absolute selfishness in mankind if the driving of automobiles becomes common. It will breed violence on a scale never seen before. It will mark the end of the family as we know it, the three or four generations living happily in one home. It will destroy the sense of neighborhood and the true sense of Nation. It will create giganticized cankers of cities, false opulence of suburbs, ruinized countryside, and unhealthy conglomerations of specialized farming and manufacturing. It will make every man a tyrant.” -R. A. Lafferty: “Interurban Queen” (1970), a short story set in the late 1800’s
 
“A commuter tie-up consists of you - and people who for some reason won’t use public transit.” -Robert Brault (born 1938) at RBrault.blogspot.com
 
A man was driving down a lonely country road when it began to snow heavily. His car windows fogged up and the windshield became covered with snow, but his wiper blades were badly worn, and consequently they soon fell apart. The man could not see out of the front of his car anymore and he could not continue to drive, so he stopped the car. Then he got out and started to turn over some large rocks that he found alongside the road. Finally, he found two frozen snakes under the rocks. He straightened them out, stuck them flat onto his blades, and they worked just fine. He was able to continue on his way thanks to his pair of wind-chilled vipers.
 
“Primitives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.” -Mary Ellen Kelly
 
Stoplight: A place where the cautious and the reckless meet.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Daffynitions And Definitions Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Motorists, here is how you can avoid being prosecuted for using your cell phone while driving. Simply place your phone inside a large seashell, and the police will think that you are listening to the sound of the ocean as you drive.
 
“A tree never hits an automobile - except in self-defense.” -Author Unknown
 
We are MFOL! . . . vrmmm-vrmmm! . . . beep, beep! . . .

Poverty And Prosperity

Alas! old man, we’re wealthy now, it’s sad beyond a doubt;
     We cannot dodge prosperity, success has found us out.
Your eye is very dull and drear, my brow is creased with care,
     We realize how hard it is to be a millionaire.
-Robert W. Service (Robert William Service (1874 - 1958)): “Complete Poetical Works of Robert W. Service” (1960), ‘The Joy of Being Poor,’ part 3, lines 1 through 4
 
“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.” -W. C. Fields (pseudonym of William Claude Dukenfield (1880 - 1946)): as quoted in Herbert V. Prochnow and Herbert V. Prochnow, Junior, editors: “A Treasury of Humorous Quotations” (1969)
 
The Poor
 
Speak gently, kindly, to the poor;
     Let no harsh term be heard;
They have enough they must endure
     Without an unkind word.
 
By David Bates
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poetic Epigrams Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“If I was as rich as Rockefeller, I’d be richer than Rockefeller, because I’d do a bit of window cleaning on the side.” -Ronnie Barker (1929 - 2005): “The Two Ronnies” television series
 
“That some should be rich, shows that others may become rich, and hence is just encouragement to industry and enterprise. Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of another; but let him labor diligently and build one for himself.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865): reply to New York Workingmen’s Democratic Republican Association (21 March 1864)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Abraham Lincoln Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“In truth, poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell.” -Walter Bagehot (1826 - 1877): “The Waverley Novels” (1858)
 
Money is honey, my little sonny,
     And a rich man’s joke is always funny.
-Thomas Edward Brown (1830 - 1897)
 
“A man isn’t poor if he can still laugh.” -Raymond Hitchcock
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Laughter And Laughing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Overheard: There are advantages to owning no furniture. For example, you can’t fall out of bed if you sleep on the floor.
 
“There is a science of getting rich, and it is an exact science, like algebra or arithmetic. There are certain laws which govern the process of acquiring riches, and once these laws are learned and obeyed by anyone, that person will get rich with mathematical certainty.” -Wallace D. Wattles (Wallace Delois Wattles (born Wallace Delois Walters (1860 - 1911)))
 
“The best thing you can do for the poor is not to be one of them.” -Frederick Eikerenkoetter
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Charitable Giving And Helping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Whereas it has long been known and declared that the poor have no right to the property of the rich, I wish it also to be known and declared that the rich have no right to the property of the poor.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)
 
“If you cannot be satisfied with what you have, you must learn to be satisfied with what you haven’t.” -Caroline Rush: “Further Tales of Mr. Pengachoosa” (1967)
 
“Upper crust of society: A lot of crumbs held together by dough.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Baked Goods Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“I want there to be no peasant in my kingdom so poor that he cannot have a chicken in his pot every Sunday.” -Henry IV
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Chickens Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“The well-fed does not understand the lean.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb
 
“If living conditions don’t stop improving in this country, we’re going to run out of humble beginnings for our great men.” -Russell P. Askue
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Leadership And Leading Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the Summertime and the poor get it in the Winter.” -Bat Masterson (William B. ‘Bat’ Masterson)
 
“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” -Virginia Woolf (Adeline Virginia ‘Virginia’ Woolf (born Adeline Virginia Stephen (1882 - 1941))): “A Room of One’s Own” (1929)
 
“Many people might never know if they are either rich or poor if they were not made aware of it by other people.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
 
There’s many a thing which they
Whose coats are tattered never dare to say.
-Juvenal (Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis (about C.E. 55 - C.E. 130))
 
“Human prosperity never rests but always craves more, till blown up with pride, it totters and falls. From the opulent mansions pointed at by all passers-by none warns it away, none cries, ‘Let no more riches enter!’” -Aeschylus (about 525 B.C.E. - about 456 B.C.E.)

“The most inconvenient feature about poverty is that one is apt to get used to it.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Changing And Adjusting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Your country clubs, the cars, the boats -
Your assets may be ample,
But the best inheritance
You can leave your kids
Is to be a good example.
-Barry Spilchuk (born 1957)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Parenthood And Parenting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.” -Rex Stout (Rex Todhunter Stout (1886 - 1975)): “The Red Box” (1937), words of character Nero Wolfe
 
“The story of his youth was a series of bitternesses, as is the case with almost all distinguished men. Poverty sits by their cradle, and keeps watch over them till they have grown up; and this lean nurse remains their true companion through life.” -Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Adversities And Persevering Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

​“The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.” -Willem de Kooning
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Time Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“The poor are rightfully the property of the rich, because the rich made them so.” -Author Unknown
 
“You can’t get rid of poverty by giving people money.” -P. J. O’Rourke (Patrick Jake O’Rourke (born 1947))
 
“For many men, the acquisition of wealth does not end their troubles, it only changes them.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))
 
“It is true that you cannot take it with you, but folks ought to remember that how you got it may determine where you go.” -Author Unknown
 
“The poor have very few hours in which to enjoy themselves; they must take their pleasure raw; they haven’t the time to cook it.” -W. B. Yeats (William Butler Yeats (1865 - 1939)): “Where There Is Nothing” (1903)
 
“Being in poverty is like being a crab in a bucket full of crabs. Whenever a crab tries to crawl out of the bucket to freedom, the other crabs grab onto it and pull it back down into the bucket. It is a strange and evil thing: Not only do the poor adamantly refuse to give up the destructive habits that keep them poor, but they also fight - viciously - to keep themselves and everyone around them forever poor.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
 
“No man becomes rich unless he enriches others.” -Andrew Carnegie (1835 - 1919)
 
Peniaphobia is a persistent fear of poverty. Plutophobia is a persistent fear of wealth. Perhaps the solution would be to position oneself comfortably between the two, in the place called ‘the middle class.’
 
“The greatest man in history was the poorest.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882): “Domestic Life”
 
“Anyone who has ever struggled with poverty knows how extremely expensive it is to be poor.” -James Baldwin (James Arthur Baldwin (1924 - 1987)): ‘Fifth Avenue, Uptown: A Letter from Harlem,’ published in “Esquire” (July 1960) magazine and republished in James Baldwin, author: “Nobody Knows My Name: More Notes of a Native Son” (1961)
 
“Prosperity: Something that labor creates and for which politicians get all the credit.” -Author Unknown
 
“It is the weariness of the poor that keeps the rich in power.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Employment And Work Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Never again should a people starve in a world of plenty.” -Author Unknown: inscription at the base of a statue in Cambridge Commons
 
“If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money cannot buy.” -Author Unknown
 
“When a man tells you he got rich through hard work, ask him, ‘Whose?’” - Don Marquis (Donald Robert Perry ‘Don’ Marquis (1878 - 1937))
 
“No matter how little money or how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.” -Louis Sabin
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Domestic Dogs Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“When prosperity comes, do not use all of it.” -Confucius (a fifteenth-century Portuguese Jesuit scholars’ rendering of the Chinese name K’ung Fu-tzu or K’ung Ch’iu into Classical Latin (English: Master K’ung) about 551 B.C.E. - about 479 B.C.E.)
 
“Fortune is ever seen accompanying industry.” -Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774)
 
Mack: I started out in life with just a penny in my pocket.
Jack: I started out in life without even a pocket.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Babies And Infants Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“There is only one class in the community that thinks more about money than the rich, and that is the poor. The poor can think of nothing else.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))
 
“Poverty is the reward of idleness.” [translation to English]
“Armoede is luiheids loon.” [original Dutch]
-Author Unknown: Dutch proverb: as quoted in Henry G. Bohn: “A Polyglot of Foreign Proverbs” (1857), page 300
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Idleness And Industriousness Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Overheard: Forget about being a millionaire - I just want to be a hundredaire!
 
“Poverty is feeling poor.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
 
“The philosophy of the rich and the poor is this: The rich invest their money and spend what is left. The poor spend their money and invest what is left.” -Robert T. Kiyosaki (Robert Toru Kiyosaki (born 1947)) at https://www.richdad.com/
 
“Gabe was so poor that all he had to wear as a boy were hand-me-downs. The real shame was that he had five older sisters and no brothers.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Attire And Accessories Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Appreciation of beauty by the poor is an infringement upon the exclusive rights of the rich.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Art Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Anyone who has ever struggled with poverty knows how extremely expensive it is to be poor.” -James Baldwin: ‘Fifth Avenue, Uptown: A Letter from Harlem’ published in “Esquire” (July 1960) magazine; republished in James Baldwin: “Nobody Knows My Name: More Notes of a Native Son” (1961)
 
You Might Be Poor If . . .
- The last time you bought anything new was . . . it has been so long that you cannot remember with certainty.
- Savings sounds like a great idea and you hope to have some someday.
- You cannot remember when times were not hard and money was not scarce.
- You have only enough to survive.
- You avoid certain places and people or hang your head in shame in their presence.
- You feel like the gulf between poverty and prosperity cannot be bridged.
 
“The more is given the less people will work for themselves, and the less they work the more their poverty will increase.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910)): “Help for the Starving” (1892)
 
Seldom do people discern
Eloquence under a threadbare cloak.
-Juvenal (Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis (about C.E. 55 - C.E. 130))

“The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least.” -Author Unknown
 
“Come away; poverty’s catching.” -Aphra Behn (1640 - 1689): “The Rover” (1681), Part 2, I
 
“It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them.” -Burton Hillis (pseudonym of William Edward ‘Bill’ Vaughan (1915 - 1977))
 
“Love and business and family and religion and art and patriotism are nothing but shadows of words when a man’s starving.” -O. Henry (pseudonym of William Sydney Porter (1862 - 1910)): “Heart of the West” (1907)
 
“Let him who expects one class of society to prosper in the highest degree while the other is in distress try whether one side of his face can smile while the other is pinched.” -Thomas Fuller (1608 - 1661)

“For every talent that poverty has stimulated it has blighted a hundred.” -John William Gardner (1912 - 2002)
 
“The rich are very clever; they have even figured out ways to make money off other people’s poverty and suffering.” -Author Unknown
 
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people He gave it to.” -Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)
 
“The poor man is not he who is without a cent, but he who is without a dream.” -Harry Kemp
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Hopes And Dreams Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“No one can earn a million dollars honestly.” -William Jennings Bryan (1860 - 1925)
 
“A man may live upon little, but he cannot live upon nothing.” -Author Unknown
 
“Resolve not to be poor: whatever you have, spend less. Poverty is a great enemy to human happiness; it certainly destroys liberty, and it makes some virtues impracticable, and others extremely difficult.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): letter (7 December 1782) to James Boswell
 
“The prosperous man is never sure that he is loved for himself.” -F. L. Lucas (Frank Laurence Lucas (1894 - 1967))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Love Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.” -Bion (about 325 B.C.E. - about 255 B.C.E.)
 
“Both poverty and riches are the offspring of thought.” -Napoleon Hill (born Oliver Napoleon Hill (1883 - 1970))
 
“Empty pockets never held anyone back. It’s only empty heads and empty hearts that do it.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993): “Enthusiasm Makes the Difference” (1985)
 
“Poor people have big television. Rich people have big library.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))
 
“The gust of wind that blows out the candle fans the fire; so, too, the winds of fortune that crush the poor man make the rich man prosper.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
 
“He is rich whose income is more than his expenses; and he is poor whose expenses exceed his income.” -Jean de La Bruyère (1645 - 1696): as attributed in “The London Magazine” (December 1827)
 
Why are the needy only thought of around the holidays? Are they not just as needy throughout the rest of the year? The answer is that charities for the poor are run by rich people, and rich people need more money during the holidays to pay for all their celebrating, so they raise money during this time, keeping most of it for themselves and giving a pittance to the poor. After all, the rich are needier of joy than the poor are.
 
Rich man: One who is not ashamed to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper or to haggle over the price.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Shopping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“I have been rich and I have been poor. I know which one I prefer.” -Michael Caine (pseudonym of Maurice Joseph Micklewhite (born 1933))
 
“Poverty: Something that money cannot buy.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Impossible And Possible Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“The real measure of our wealth is how much we’d be worth if we lost all our money.” -J. H. Jowett (John Henry Jowett)
 
“Poor people are rich in excuses, rich people are poor in excuses.” -Author Unknown
 
“Real wealth is not so much what we have as what we are.” -Sterling W. Sill (Sterling Welling Sill (19034 - 1994))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Self-Concept And Self-Identity Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.” -Teresa of Calcutta (1910 - 1997)
 
“It is easy enough for the poor to criticize the rich and for the rich to criticize the poor, but how often do we hear of the rich and the poor getting together, talking to each other, and getting to know each other well enough to be certain that the criticisms are valid?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
 
“I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Beginning And Starting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“The strongest single factor in prosperity consciousness is self-esteem: believing you can do it, believing you deserve it, believing you will get it.” -Jerry Gillies
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Self-Esteem And Self-Confidence Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Money polishes the poor, but with a very dull finish.” -Author Unknown
 
“Poverty is never dishonorable in itself, but only when it is a mark of sloth, intemperance, extravagance, or thoughtlessness. When, on the other hand, it is the handmaid of a sober, industrious, righteous, and brave man, who devotes all his powers to the service of the people, it is the sign of a lofty spirit that harbours no mean thoughts.” -Lucius Mestrius Plutarchus (also known simply as Plutarch (about C.E. 46 - about C.E. 120)): “Comparison of Aristides and Cato”
 
“The human race has had long experience and a fine tradition in surviving adversity. But we now face a task for which we have little experience, the task of surviving prosperity.” -Alan Gregg
 
“Poverty: A state of mind; also, a bad habit.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Habits And Routines Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Creation of wealth is almost a duty because of the widespread benefits that flow from it.” -John Gunn
 
Overheard: Some people are so poor that all they have is money.
 
“The truly rich are those who enjoy what they have.” -Author Unknown: Yiddish proverb
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“Rich: A word for describing someone who make use of the opportunities that poor people ignore or carelessly throw away.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
 
“By desiring little, a poor man makes himself rich.” -Democritus (about 460 B.C.E. - 370 B.C.E.)
 
“I might have been born in a hovel but I am determined to travel with the wind and the stars.” -Jacqueline Cochran (born Bessie Lee Pittman (1906 - 1980))
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“If you have a clear conscience and good health, if you have a few good friends and a happy home, if your heart has kept its youth and your soul its honesty, then cheer up - you are one of life’s fortunate millionaires.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “American Salesman”
 
“The wealthy man is not he who has money, but he who has the means to live in the luxurious state of early Spring.” -Anton Pavlovich Chekhov (1860 - 1904)
 
We are MFOL! . . . no matter what your income level or property value, you are your most valuable asset . . . and no matter what, determine to live richly - and always to Make Fun Of Life!

Theater And Acting

“I love acting, but it’s much more fun taking the kids to the zoo.” -Nicole Kidman
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“The world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.” -Seán O’Casey (1880 - 1964)
 
‘Thespian’ is another word for ‘actor.’ Thespian is derived from a man named Thespis and the suffix ‘ian’ which comes from the Latin ‘-iānus,’ meaning ‘like’ in this usage. Thespis worked at his acting art sometime in the 6th century B.C.E., and is believed by some researchers to have been the first credited actor.
 
“I’m an actor. And I guess I’ve done so many movies I’ve achieved some high visibility. But a star? I guess I still think of myself as kind of a worker ant.” -Bill Vaughan (William Edward ‘Bill’ Vaughan (1915 - 1977))
 
“All the world’s a stage but most of us are stagehands.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in Herbert V. Prochnow and Herbert V. Prochnow, Junior, editors: “A Treasury of Humorous Quotations” (1969)
 
“Have you ever felt that all the world’s a stage and you are the only one in the audience?” -Author Unknown
 
“Know your lines and don’t bump into the furniture.” -Spencer Tracy, commenting on how to succeed in acting
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“Everyone wants to be Cary Grant. Even I want to be Cary Grant.” -Cary Grant (pseudonym of Archibald Alexander Leach (1904 - 1986))
 
For most of human history, people attended live performances by actors, musicians, lecturers, and other show people, also known as entertainers. The performers sometimes appeared on stages in outdoor or indoor theaters, but they also put on their shows in any available space, such as a town square or an empty field. Only in recent times have people been able to view and listen to shows and performances with the use of devices that record and replay them.
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Sign behind the counter at a video rental store: “We are sorry to report that we are all out of ‘That Movie With That Guy Who Was In That Other Movie.’ There was some confusion when ordering from our distributor. Thank You.”
 
“Opening night: the night before the play is ready to open.” -George Jean Nathan (1882 - 1958)
 
Jay: Have you tried the new Hollywood citrus soda with half the calories of regular soda?
Ray: What’s it called?
Jay: Lime Lite.
 
In 1816, Thomas Drummond devised a lighting source for theaters, consisting of a cylinder of lime heated by an incandescent flame and placed behind a lens or in front of a reflector. The resulting lime lights were extremely bright but tended to light up only a small part of a stage or other area into which they were focused, making the star performer highly visible as long as he or she stood within it. Soon, actors were competing to be inside the small area of focus of the lime light, so that they could be easily seen by the audience members. Locations where many people can see someone became known as ‘being in the limelight.’ Later, with the development of electric lighting, the phrase ‘being in the spotlight’ also came into use.
 
“You can pick out actors by the glazed look that comes into their eyes when the conversation wanders away from themselves.” -Michael Wilding: as quoted in Herbert V. Prochnow and Herbert V. Prochnow, Junior, editors: “A Treasury of Humorous Quotations” (1969)
 
In 1891, Thomas Edison and William Dickson invented the Kinetoscope, a box that allowed short films to be seen by a single viewer. Initially, Mr. Edison was opposed to showing motion pictures on big screens to audiences in theaters because he thought one-on-one viewing would be more profitable.
 
“One of my chief regrets during my years in the theater is that I couldn’t sit in the audience and watch me.” -John Barrymore (1882 - 1942): as quoted in Herbert V. Prochnow and Herbert V. Prochnow, Junior, editors: “A Treasury of Humorous Quotations” (1969)
 
The first movie production studio in the world was built in 1893 by Thomas Edison at the Edison Laboratories in New Jersey, United States of America. It was a small wood-frame building covered in black tarpaper roofing material, and was built on a large turntable, so that the entire building could be rotated to allow the windows to face the Sun and let in the greatest amount of natural sunlight available at any time of day, which was necessary to make early motion pictures, or movies. All of the movies made in this studio were ‘silent movies,’ as sound would come only later in movie-making history.
 
“The talking picture will not supplant the regular silent motion picture.” -Thomas Edison
 
The Western character most portrayed on screen is William Frederick Cody, also known as Buffalo Bill, followed by William Bonny, also known as Billy the Kid.
 
“I wouldn’t say when you’ve seen one Western you’ve seen the lot; but when you’ve seen the lot you get the feeling you’ve seen one.” -Katherine Whitehorn: “Sunday Best” (1976), ‘Decoding the West’
 
The first movie stuntwoman was Helen Gibson, who doubled for Helen Holmes in the first 26 episodes of “The Hazards of Helen” (1914). She was trained as a trick rider on horses, and was married to cowboy star Hoot Gibson.
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Jenny: The other day I sat through a terrible movie.
Jenna: Why didn’t you walk out?
Jenny: I wanted to, but the flight attendant wouldn’t give me a parachute.
 
The first major movie star was Mary Pickford (1893 - 1979), who along with Charlie Chaplin, Douglas Fairbanks, and D. W. Griffith, formed United Artists Corporation in 1919. At the peak of her popularity, Mary Pickford made a record-breaking $10,000 a week (more than $196,000 in 2008 U.S. Dollars).
 
“Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.” -Elizabeth Taylor: as quoted in “The Times” (18 February 1981) newspaper; also as quoted in Judy Allen: “Picking on Men” (1985)
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“Remember, there are no small parts, only small actors.” -Konstantin Stanislavski
 
Hollywood’s first canine celebrity actor was Rin-Tin-Tin (also spelled as Rin Tin Tin and Rintintin (1918 - 1932)), a five-day-old German Shephard found wounded in battle in the vicinity of Lorraine, France during World War One. American soldier Corporal Leland Leroy ‘Lee’ Duncan (1892 - 1960) adopted him and nicknamed him Rinty, trained him, and obtained silent movie work for the dog starting in 1922. Rin-Tin-Tin would sign his own contracts with his paw print.

Pirate Pete: Why couldn’t the eleven-year-old pirate get in to see the movie?
Buccaneer Bob: Because it was rated, ‘Arrrrrr!’
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“Actors are people who dress up and pretend to be other people, and that’s why they call what they do a ‘play.’ The audience consists of people who like to watch other people play.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
 
“I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write enough to sign contracts.” -Hermione Gingold
 
A newspaper sent a short telegram message to Cary Grant on his birthday, inquiring as to his age, and reading only, “How old Cary Grant?” The imperturbable* actor, in a similarly brief telegram, replied, “Old Cary Grant fine! How you?”
*imperturbable: calm and steady
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Mallory’s Salary
 
There was a young rustic named Mallory,
who drew but a very small salary.
     When he went to the show,
     his purse made him go
to a seat in the uppermost gallery.
 
By Author Unknown
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The largest make-up budget for a movie was $1 million for “Planet of the Apes” (1968), which amounted to nearly 17 percent of the total movie production costs.
 
“Acting is the most minor of gifts. After all, Shirley Temple could do it when she was four.” -Katharine Hepburn (1907 - 2003), as quoted in Carolyn Warner, editor: “The Last Word: A Treasury of Women’s Quotes” (1992)
 
Lassie, the movie collie, first appeared in a 1930’s short novel titled, “Lassie Come Home” written by Eric Mowbray Knight. The dog in the novel was based on Knight’s real life collie, Toots. Lassie was played by several male dogs, despite the female name, because male collies were thought to look better on camera. The main canine actor who played the parts was named Pal. “So many of Lassie’s fans want to ask: Is he allowed on the furniture? Of course he is - but then, he’s the one who paid for it.” -Julia Glass
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The largest number of takes for one scene was 324, all done of the comedy actor Charlie Chaplin in the making of the film, “City Lights” (1931).
 
“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.” -Oscar Wilde
 
The last completely silent film produced for general distribution was George Melford’s “The Poor Millionaire” (1930), with lead actors Richard Talmadge (who played both the hero and the villain parts) and Constance Howard.
 
An Articulation Warmup for Actors
 
Give me the gift of a grip-top sock,
A clip drape shipshape tip top sock.
Not your spinslick slapstick slipshod stock,
But a plastic, elastic grip-top sock.
None of your fantastic slack swap slop
From a slap dash flash cash haberdash shop.
Not a knick knack knitlock knockneed knickerbocker sock
With a mock-shot blob-mottled trick-ticker top clock.
Not a supersheet seersucker rucksack sock,
Not a spot-speckled frog-freckled cheap sheik’s sock
Off a hodge-podge moss-blotched scotch-botched block.
Nothing slipshod drip drop flip flop or glip glop
Tip me to a tip top grip top sock.
 
By Author Unknown
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“The play has been performed; applaud!” [translation to English]
“Acta est fabula plaudite.” [original Latin]
-Author Unknown: common ending to ancient Roman comedies
 
“What can you do with a guy with ears like that?” -Jack Warner (1930), as a movie mogul rejecting Clark Gable
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“I always wanted to be a movie star. I thought it meant being famous and having breakfast in bed. I didn’t know you had to be up at 4:00 a.m.” -June Allyson
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Radio City Music Hall in New York City, New York, United States of America was once the largest movie theater in the world. It opened in December 1932 with 5,945 seats.
 
A large, hand-lettered sign hanging on the wall of Stage 5 at Paramount Studios, from around 1940 read, “Please Do Not Feed The Actors.”
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In 1923, Mark Sennett, Harry Chandler, and the “Los Angeles Times” newspaper spent $21,000 to put up the ‘Hollywoodland’ sign to publicize a real estate development. The sign was later shortened to the iconic ‘Hollywood’ sign with large white all-capital letters, seen on the hillside today.
 
“Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.” -Author Unknown
 
When the executives of Warner Brothers Studios were having money problems, they decided to take a risk on a first-of-its-kind talkie, or talking motion picture. It was called, “The Jazz Singer” (1927), and Al Jolson (pseudonym of Asa Yoelson) was given the first-ever lead role in the talkie. All movies up to that time had been silent motion pictures.
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Actor Hugh Beaumont (Eugene Hugh Beaumont (16 February 1909 - 14 May 1982) was an actor, a television director, and an ordained Methodist minister. He is known for portraying Ward Clever, the father in the television series, “Leave It to Beaver” (1957 - 1963), and for his earlier acting role as private detective Michael Shayne.
 
“I’m not a film star, I am an actress. Being a film star is such a false life, lived for fake values and for publicity.” -Vivien Leigh (born Vivian Mary Hartley (1913 - 1967))
 
The author whose works have been adapted to film the most is William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), which includes authentic film versions of his writings, as well as modern retellings such as, “West Side Story” (1961) and “The Lion King” (1994), and in countless parody movies.
 
“I have always noticed that when a fellow wants to finish a play, the only way to do it is to go away to the country and leave no address.” -George Augustus Moore (1852 - 1933): “Vain Fortune,” Chapter 1, referring to writing a play
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The largest Hollywood film set ever built was the 1,312 feet by 754 feet Roman Forum for the epic, ”The Fall of the Roman Empire” (1964).
 
One of the great American film directors was John Huston (1906 - 1987), whose films included, “The Maltese Falcon” (1941), “Moby Dick” (1956), and “Annie” (1982). But perhaps the toughest assignment he ever had was the modestly titled film, “The Bible” (1966). He found the ‘Creation’ and ‘Ark’ parts especially challenging. When a friend asked him how things were going, he replied, “I don’t know how God managed. I’m having a terrible time.”
 
One of Germany’s most prominent filmmakers, Werner Herzog, was chatting with director Errol Morris one day when Mr. Morris mentioned how difficult it was to find funding for his films. Wanting to challenge his buddy, Mr. Herzog told Mr. Morris to keep trying, and then added that if he ever finished a movie, “I am going to eat my shoe.” Errol Morris finally released the first of his many documentaries, titled “Gates of Heaven” (1978). Mr. Herzog kept his promise, and in 1980, with Les Blank filming the proceedings, Werner Herzog cooked his shoe in garlic and duck fat and then started eating his shoe.
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The first movie stuntman was Frank Hanaway, a former member of the United States Cavalry. He was cast in ”The Great Train Robbery” (1903), based on his ability to fall off a horse without hurting himself.
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“No, no, no!” the director screamed. “Cut!” He stormed onto the set and confronted the leading man. “That’s no way to fall down a staircase!” he fumed. “What’s the matter? Are you afraid of messing up your hair or getting a scratch on that pretty face of yours?” The actor knew enough about this man’s temper to keep his own mouth closed. Let the director rant for a minute or two, then they could all get back to shooting the scene. “We can’t shoot this scene if you’re going to be a coward about it!” the director said. “Look, I’ll show you how easy it is.” He climbed to the top of the stairs and assumed the position the actor was supposed to take. Then his body tipped toward the steps, and he tumbled to the bottom. He looked at the actor from the floor and said, “Now do you think you can do it right?” “I guess so,” the actor said. “Good,” the director said. “Everybody back into position for the shot. Oh, and by the way, somebody call an ambulance. My leg is broken.”
 
Actor Bill Murray (William James ‘Bill’ Murray (born 1950)) has neither a publicist nor an agent, and yet he has had starring roles in such wildly successful and well-known movies as, “Ghost Busters” (8 June 1984) and “What About Bob” (17 May 1991). Does he rely on actual ‘friends in the business’ to get acting gigs?
 
The largest cast of living creatures in a film were the 22 million bees employed by Irwin Allen in ”The Swarm” (1978).
 
Standards of decency and appropriateness in entertainment vary around the world. The “Muppet Movie” (1979) was disallowed by New Zealand censors on the grounds that it contained gratuitous violence. Sweden banned ”E.T.” (1982) for children under 11 years of age because of their finding that it showed parents being hostile to their children.
 
“Actors: Puppets who pull their own strings.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
 
The first feature film created solely with Computer Generated Imagery (CGI) was ”Toy Story” (1995). More than 800,000 hours of mathematical equations went into the film, which works out to more than a week of computer time for every second on the screen.
 
“Nicko! Don’t play with the food! When I was your age, we didn’t have food!” -Lainie Kazan: speaking part in the movie, ”My Big Fat Greek Wedding” (19 April 2002)
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The Academy Award statue is named after a librarian’s uncle. One day Margaret Herrick, librarian for the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, made a remark that the statue looked like her Uncle Oscar, and the name stuck.
 
Cheryl: What was the scariest part of the horror movie?
Ethyl: When I ran out of popcorn.
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The creepy character most frequently portrayed in horror films is Count Dracula, a creation of Irish writer Bram Stoker (1847 - 1912).
 
Lars: There I was, Sasquatch on my left, Frankenstein’s monster was on my right, and the Swamp Thing was fast approaching me. I screamed as loud as I could.
Cindy: Then what happened?
Lars: The usher told me that if it happened again, I would have to exit the movie theater.
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Boris: How do you make a strawberry shake?
Doris: Take it to see a horror movie!
 
A Tragedy in Three Acts
Act I: Tyrannosaurus Rex and two small dinosaurs.
Act II: Tyrannosaurus Rex and one small dinosaur.
Act III: Tyrannosaurus Rex.
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Actor: “I’m a smash hit. Why, yesterday during the last act, I had everyone glued in their seats!”
Other Person: “Wonderful! Wonderful! Clever of you to think of it!”
-Oliver Herford (Oliver Brooke Herford (1860 - 1935))
 
“Movies are one of the bad habits that corrupted our century. They have slapped into the American mind more misinformation in one evening than the Dark Ages could muster in a decade.” -Ben Hecht (1893 - 1964): “A Child of the Century” (1954)
 
“If you ask me to play myself, I will not know what to do. I do not know who or what I am.” -Peter Sellers (born Richard Henry Sellers (1925 - 1980)): as quoted in Leslie Halliwell: “Halliwell’s Filmgoer’s Companion” (1988), page 622
 
“We have our factory, which is called a stage. We make a product, we color it, we title it, and we ship it out in cans.” -Cary Grant (pseudonym of Archibald Alexander Leach (1904 - 1986)), referring to film reels, which were placed inside metal cans
 
Marv: How do you fix a broken movie?
Merv: With video tape.
 
“People ask, ‘What’s the best role you’ve ever played?’ The next one.” -Kevin Kline (Kevin Delaney Kline (born 1972))
 
“There’s no business like show business.” -Irving Berlin (1888 - 1989): title of song (1946)
 
This is MFOL! . . . and we can’t act - but then, many actors can’t either - they entertain people by getting in front of an audience or a camera and just being themselves . . .

Mail And Postal Services

In 1913, children could be legally shipped by mail. With postage attached to their clothing, they rode trains to their destinations, accompanied by letter carriers.
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Melvin: What two words have the most letters?
Mailman: ‘Post office.’
 
Michigan, United States of America, is the only place in the world with a floating post office. The J.W. Westcott II delivers mail to ships while they are still underway. The floating postal system has been in operation for more than 125 years.
 
Bobby: Have you heard about the romance at the post office?
Darren: Yes, a stamp is stuck on an envelope.
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Post Office Clerk: This package is too heavy. You will have to put another stamp on it.
Customer: And putting another stamp on it will make it lighter?
 
A dog walked into a post-office, and got in line (joined the queue). When he reached the cashier, the dog said, “Hello, I’d like to send a telegram please.” The cashier, mildly startled to be addressed by a dog, said “Uh, certainly. What message would you like to send?” The dog said “Here is the message: Woof-woof. Woof-woof woof-woof. Woof-woof-woof, woof. Woof.” The cashier, half-sarcastically, said to the dog, “You haven’t quite reached the character-limit. Would you like to add an extra ‘woof’?” The dog replied, “Don’t be daft, that wouldn’t make any sense!”
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“The most interesting thing about a postage stamp is the persistence with which it sticks to its job.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon ‘Napoleon’ Hill (1883 - 1970))
 
“Canada Post doesn’t really charge 32 cents for a stamp. It’s 2 cents for postage and 30 cents for storage.” -Gerald Regan (31 December 1983), Cabinet Minister, Financial Post
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Mabel: How can I keep birds from nesting in my mailbox?
Gertrude: Put a cat in it.
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Carrier of news and knowledge,
Instrument of trade and industry,
Promoter of mutual acquaintance,
Of peace and good-will
Among men and nations.
-Charles William Eliot: as inscribed on the southeast corner of a post office in Washington, District of Columbia, United States of America
 
The ‘ZIP’ in American ZIP codes stands for ‘Zoning Improvement Plan.’
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“Norman had gone to a shoe store on its Grand Opening Day. Due to the crowd of bargain-hunting shoppers that had shown up, the store was busy and somewhat noisy. They happened to be out of stock of the type of shoes Norman wanted, but a harried clerk said that they would have more in stock soon. Norman told the clerk he would like to place an order and have the shoes mailed to his front door. A few weeks passed, and no new shoes arrived. Then, early on a Saturday morning, Norman heard the sound of hammering at his front door. Going to find the cause of the noise, he discovered that the shoes he had ordered had been nailed to his front door. Apparently, there had been slight misunderstanding, with Norman having said ‘mailed,’ and the clerk at the shoe store having heard instead what he thought was the word ‘nailed.’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
 
Tip for reopening an envelope: If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, place your sealed envelope inside a plastic bag, and then inside a freezer for an hour or two. It will then likely unseal quite easily.
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A woman purchased a postage stamp at the post office. “Must I stick it on myself?” she asked. “Well, madam,” replied the postal clerk. “It might be better if you stuck it on the envelope.”
 
“Wanted: Young, skinny, wiry fellows not over 18. Must be expert riders willing to risk death daily. Orphans preferred. Wages $25 per week.” -Author Unknown: Pony Express (1860) advertisement
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One interesting fact about the Pony Express system for delivering mail in the United States of America is that there was not a single pony in the Pony Express . . . just horses.
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Before 1863, the postal service in the United States of America was free.
 
Shannon: What starts with ‘e,’ ends with ‘e,’ and contains one letter?
Shane: An envelope.
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The world’s first adhesive postage stamp went on sale in England in 1840. It was the called the Penny Black, and portrayed Queen Victoria.
 
Every time you lick a stamp, you consume one-tenth of a calorie. Thank goodness for the peel-and-stick stamps, which allow us to ‘stick’ to our diets!
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No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.

Benjamin Franklin was appointed the first United States Postmaster General on 26 July 1775.
 
They just came out with a new postage stamp. It has a picture of people waiting in line to buy stamps at a post office.
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Mailing an entire building has been illegal in the United States of America since 1916, when a man mailed a 40,000-ton brick house across Utah to avoid high freight rates.
 
Monica: What is big and gray, has forty feet, and runs to the post office?
Monique: A herd of elephants in a ‘stamp’-ede.
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“Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))

“Neither Snow, Nor Rain, Nor Heat, Nor Gloom of Night Stops These Couriers From the Swift Completion of Their Appointed Rounds.” -adaptation of words by Herodotus: inscription on the façade of the General Post Office in New York City, New York, United States of America
 
The original wording of the above was: “Not snow, no, nor rain, nor night keeps them from accomplishing their appointed courses with all speed.” -Herodotus (484 B.C.E. - 425 B.C.E.): “The Histories of Herodotus,” book VIII, chapter 98
 
Joseph: What two letters describe a mailbox with nothing in it?
Sophia: ‘MT.’
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A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. “What denomination?” asked the clerk. “Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?” said the woman. “Well then, give me fifty Catholic stamps and fifty Baptist stamps.”
 
Postmen in Victorian England were popularly called ‘robins.’ This was because their uniforms were red. The British Post Office grew out of the carrying of royal dispatches. Red was considered a royal color, so uniforms and letterboxes were red. Christmas cards often showed a robin delivering Christmas mail.
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A young man named Xavier has just gotten his first job, as the personal assistant to an advertising agency executive. He is in the post office, on an errand for his boss, to buy some stamps. Not sure if he is doing things right, he turns and recognizes someone he knows, a teacher from the elementary school he attended as a child, who is also waiting in the long line (queue) at the post office, standing right behind him.
Xavier: Hey, Yvette, how many 3-cent stamps are there in a dozen?
Yvette: Twelve - and if you thought it was 4 . . . go to the back of the line!
 
The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
 
The Chicago Post Office at 433 West Van Buren is the only postal facility in the world people can drive through in an automobile.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Vehicles And Driving Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Oscar: What starts with ‘p,’ ends with ‘e,’ and has thousands of letters in it?
Roscoe: Post office.

Gwendolyn: What travels around the world while sitting in a corner?
Wendy: A stamp.
 
Messenger of sympathy and love,
Servant of parted friends,
Consoler of the lonely,
Bond of the scattered family,
Enlarger of the common life.
-Charles William Eliot: as inscribed on the southeast corner of a post office in Washington, District of Columbia, United States of America
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Words Heal Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Have you heard about the new postage stamps?
- The Peanut Butter Stamp: It sticks to the roof of your mouth.
- The Athlete Stamp: It is so sweaty that you do not have to lick it.
- The Hermit Stamp: It sticks to itself.
- The Welder’s Stamp: If you cannot lick it, join it.
- The Santa Claus Stamp: Yule love it.
- The Cat Stamp: It licks itself.
- The Stork Stamp: It delivers itself.
-The King Arthur Stamp: It is good for over-knight delivery.
-The Kindergarten Stamp: It is good for first class.
-The Fog Stamp: It comes with postage dew.
 
“I am a one-hundred percent qualified, thoroughly trained, all weather, truck loading, route walking, dog fearing, package delivering, always working, dedicated, unstoppable U.S. Postal Mail Carrier!” -Unidentified postal carrier
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Affirmations And Self-Talk Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

Post Office
 
Step inside!
     Stamps for sale!
Packages, postcards,
     Letters to mail!
 
Come to us
     For your money’s worth.
Deliveries made
     All over the Earth!
 
By Author Unknown

We are MFOL! . . . and we’re on our way out to buy stamps for all of our letters to pen pals and letters to Santa Claus and love letters and . . .

Meeting And Parting

​Most things in life start with hello . . .
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Beginning And Starting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“I figured out that I can greet people with ‘soup’ or ‘jello’ and people will hear the words as ‘what’s up’ or ‘hello.’” -Author Unknown
 
“Be the first to say hello to others. You will have a happier day.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read How To Be Happy Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Howdy, howdy, howdy! My name is Howdy, and I’ve been around since at least 1632. I am a contraction of the phrase ‘how do you do.’ You may recognize me from such memorable lines as, ‘Howdy, partner!’ ‘Howdy, dude!’ ‘Howdy, miss!’ and ‘Howdy, mister!’ I also have a humble cousin named, ‘How do.’ Nice to meet you!
 
“A simple hello could lead to a million things.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Minimalism And Extravagance Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!” -Author Unknown
 
Merry May We Be
 
Merry may we meet,
     Merry may we be together,
Merry may we part.
     And merry meet again.
 
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Best Wishes And Toasts Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
‘Ciao’ (pronounced as ‘chow’) is an Italian expression that can be said to people both at meeting and at parting.
 
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howie.
Howie, who?
I’m fine. Howie you?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Knock-Knock Jokes Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
‘Cheerio!’ is a British way of saying at once ‘goodbye’ and ‘be of good cheer.’
 
Meeting and Parting Without Physical Contact (and Spoken Words Optional)
- Bowing.
- Curtsying.
- Hand gesturing such as the Hippie ‘peace sign.’
- Hand waving.
- Hat tipping.
- Head nodding.
- Saluting.
Can you add to this list?
 
Lucy: So, how are you today?
Anne: Just ducky! Quack, quack!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Ducks Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
‘Welkom’ is a Dutch word meaning ‘welcome.’
 
‘Aloha’ (pronounced as ‘uh-loh-uh or ‘ah-loh-hah’) is Hawaiian for both ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye.’
 
Matthew: How are you?
Luke: Too blessed to be stressed!
 
“Why can’t we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn’t work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.” -Charles M. Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000))
 
Can a person say, “Seasons greetings!” in summertime?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of this article, or click or tap on these words to visit the Seasons Page.
 
‘Bienvenidos’ is a Spanish word meaning ‘welcome.’
 
When asked how to make goodbyes less sad and scary, our first thought was, ice cream! But maybe better answers exist. Can you think of some?
 
“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)
 
Cassidy: What did the buffalo say when his son went off to college?
Cassandra: “Bison!”
 
‘Salut’ is a French word used informally to mean ‘hello’ or ‘goodbye.’ ‘Bonjour’ is used formally during the daytime, with the meaning ‘good day,’ ‘good morning,’ or ‘hello.’ ‘Bonsoir’ means ‘good evening.’
 
Goodbyes

Goodbyes are not forever,
     Goodbyes are not the end -
They simply mean I’ll miss you,
     Until we meet again.
 
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poetic Epigrams Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
The word ‘goodbye,’ also spelled good-bye, is a contraction of the Old English phrase, ‘God be by ye,’ which roughly translates to Modern English as, ‘May God be with you.’
 
Al: How are you, my friend?
Vin: I’m doing swimmingly!
 
“Don’t be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936)): “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah” (1977), chapter 18
 
Elma: Hi, how are you?
Bert: Better and better!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Affirmations And Self-Talk Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
A ‘pip’ in British English is an expression imitative of any short, high-pitched sound, and ‘pip-pip’ is an imitation of the short double-blasts on the horn made by a rider of a bicycle or a driver of an automobile, adapted as a saying spoken when parting company. Perhaps placing humor into a moment of parting can help reduce the resulting feelings of glumness.

‘Namaste’ is a Hindi word meaning ‘farewell,’ used commonly in India.
 
An Irish Blessing
 
May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
And the rain fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.
 
By Author Unknown
 
Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves when they rode past their king. This custom has become the modern military salute.
 
How are you?
- About average.
- Couldn’t be better.
- Fair to partly cloudy.
- Fit as a fiddle.
- Good.
- Just peachy
- Marvelous.
- Not bad.
- Outstanding.
- Perfect.
- Pretty good.
- Spectacular.
- Super!
So, how are you today?
 
May we not be nervous at meeting,
     Nor saddened at parting,
But think of the good that happens,
     Between the hellos and the goodbyes.
-David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
 
“I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, ‘I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.’ I said, ‘I am.’” -Demetri Martin (Demetri Evan Martin (born 1973))
 
Carpenter Bob: How are things?
Tailor Jill: It’s just sew-sew!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Employment And Work Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Happy trails to you, until we meet again.” -Dale Evans Rogers (pseudonym of Frances Octavia Smith (born Lucille Wood Smith (1912 - 2001))): “Happy Trails” song
 
“There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Memory And Memories Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“I’ll be back.” -James Cameron (born 1954): “The Terminator” (1984) movie; words of fictional character Terminator (portrayed by actor Arnold Schwarzenegger)
 
“This is not goodbye, but hello to a forever fond memory, one with a smile attached to it.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Beaumont’s Quotations By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Animal Theme Meeting Lines
- How do you do, caribou?
- What’s the word, hummingbird?
Can you think of others?
 
Jody: What do wolves say when they are introduced?
Cody: “Howl do you do?”
 
The custom of shaking hands began in ancient times when strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed and had no ill intent.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read History Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
‘Hola’ is a Spanish word meaning ‘hello.’ ‘Que pasa’ is a casual or informal expression, though often not a preferred greeting because its literal meaning is ‘what happened’ or ‘what is happening.’
 
“The two hardest things to say in life are hello for the first time and goodbye for the last.” -Moira Rogers (pseudonym of writing team Bree Bridges and Donna Herren)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Words Heal Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“When I feel threatened, vulnerable, or insecure, whether it is from simply walking into a room of unknown people, meeting someone for the first time, an unexpected or expected confrontation, or doing something new, I affirm in my mind (over and over): There is no danger, there is no threat. From there, the discomfort lessens and I become open for discovery and adventure.” -Charles F. Glassman (born 1959): “Brain Drain: The Breakthrough That Will Change Your Life” (2009)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Shyness Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Good-bye is always hello to something else.” -George Ella Lyon (born 1949): “Borrowed Children” (March 1988)
 
The proper response to the Irish greeting, “Top of the morning to you!” is “And the rest of the day to yourself!”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Ireland Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Fare thee well.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Antony and Cleopatra” (1606 - 1607), Act 4, scene 4
 
Fare thee well! and if forever,
Still forever, fare thee well.
-Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824)): “Fare Thee Well” (1816), stanza 1
 
“Until we meet again, may the good Lord take a liking to you.” -Roy Rogers (pseudonym of Leonard Franklin ‘Len’ Slye (1911 - 1998))
 
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” -A. A. Milne (Alan Alexander Milne (1882 - 1956)): “Winnie the Pooh” (1926)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Alan Alexander Milne Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“It was the briefest of encounters, so I quickly said, ‘Hello - and goodbye!’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
 
Good-night, good-night! parting is such sweet sorrow
That I shall say good-night till it be morrow.
-William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Romeo and Juliet” (1595), Act II, scene ii
 
‘So-long’ is derived from the Arabic ‘salaam’ and the Hebrew ‘shalom,’ which roughly translate to English as, ‘peace unto you.’
 
“Goodbye is the hardest thing to say to someone who means the world to you, especially when goodbye isn’t what you want.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Difficulty And Ease Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“You will always be my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye.” -Cecelia Ahern
 
“Sometimes goodbye is not the hardest thing to say . . . sometimes the hardest thing to say is hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianist or supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
 
“We only part to meet again.” -John Gay (1685 - 1732)
 
“So long, and thanks for all the fish!” -Douglas Adams (Douglas Noel Adams (1952 - 2001))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Fishing And Angling Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Good Bye
 
See you later alligator,
Bye-bye butterfly,
Give a hug ladybug,
Be sweet parakeet,
Blow a kiss goldfish,
See you soon racoon,
Take care polar bear,
Out the door dinosaur!
 
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poems And Poetry Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.

The word ‘hello’ was once commonly used as an expression at encountering something unexpected or to call another person’s attention to something. Thomas Edison (Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931)) suggested that the word be used as a greeting when answering telephones.
 
“It is generally agreed that ‘Hello’ is an appropriate greeting because if you entered a room and said ‘Goodbye,’ it could confuse a lot of people.” -Dolph Sharp (born 1914)
 
Allie: After a while, crocodile.
Gator: See you later, alligator.
 
Animal Theme Parting Lines
- Adieu, cockatoo!
- Adios, hippos!
- Be well, speedy snail!
- Better shake, rattlesnake!
- Bye-bye, butterfly!
- Can’t stay, blue jay.
- Don’t meander, salamander!
- Good wishes, jellyfishes!
- Goodbye, dragonfly!
- Goodbye, fruit fly!
- Gotta go, buffalo!
- Hasta mañana, iguana!
- Hit the road, hoppy toad!
- See you soon, hairy baboon!
- See you soon, raccoon!
- See you then, penguin!
- So long, King Kong!
- Stay well, gazelle!
- Take care, grizzly bear!
- Take care, polar bear!
- Ta-ta, chihuahua!
- Toodle-oo, kangaroo!
- Tout de suite, parakeet!
- Until then, little red hen!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Animals And Animal Natures Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Cool Cat: How are things?
Hot Dog: Dyn-o-mite, baby.
 
“All farewells should be sudden.” -George Gordon Noel Byron (also known as Lord Byron (1788 - 1824)): “Sardanapalus” (1821), act V
 
Velma: How are things in the fast-paced business world?
Wilma: I’m just about breakin’ even.
 
Overheard: If you see me getting smaller, it means I’m leaving.
 
Alex: Morning glory.
Felix: Evening grace.
 
‘CU L8R’ is an abbreviation for ‘See you later.’
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Abbreviations And Acronyms Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“As long as we are under the same sky, we shouldn’t be sad when we part ways.” -Naoki Urasawa (born 1960) (at https://www.web.nhk/tv/an/manben/pl/series-tep-7W327R2Y4N): “Monster” (1994 - 2001) manga and anime series, words of character Wolfgang Grimmer
 
Jean: How are you?
Gene: Everything is copacetic*!
*copacetic (koh-puh-SET-ik), adjective: satisfactory; fine.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Daffynitions And Definitions Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet again in life.” -Jean Paul Richter (pseudonym of Johann Paul Friedrich Richter (1763 - 1825)): as quoted in “The Pulpit Treasury” (March 1884)
 
Anne: How are you getting along?
Gus: Fair to midlin’.
 
“If first we practice our hellos and goodbyes until we can do them passably well, then next we can put effort into excelling at what we say and do between the hellos and the goodbyes.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
 
We’ll meet again,
Don’t know where, don’t know when,
But I know we’ll meet again,
Some sunny day.
-Vera Lynn
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of this article, or click or tap on these words to visit the In Memory Page.
 
The informal American phrase ‘long time no see’ is believed to be a literal translation of a Native American or Chinese phrase as it is not grammatically correct.
 
Suzette: Y’all come back real soon now, ya hear?
Angus: You mean, like, right now?
Suzette: No, like, later!
Angus: Well, then . . . how about right now, is that later enough?
 
“‘It is never good dwelling on good-byes,’ she said. ‘It is not the being together that it prolongs, it is the parting.’” -Elizabeth Charlotte Lucy Bibesco (also known as Elizabeth Asquith, Princess Bibesco, and Elizabeth Bibesco; born Elizabeth Charlotte Lucy Asquith (1897 - 1945))
 
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Willy.
Willy, who?
Willy good to see you today, my friend!
 
“The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870)): “Nicholas Nickleby” (1838 - 1839)
 
Smokey Bear: See ya later!
Woodsy Owl: Owl be seeing you!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Owls Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“We never entirely leave people and places. They become a part of us and we become a part of them.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
 
Is sticking out your tongue an acceptable way to greet people or to say goodbye to people?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Questions And Queries Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Farewell! God knows when we shall meet again.” -William Shakespeare: “Romeo and Juliet” (1595 - 1596), Act 4, scene 3, line 14
 
Say hello to World Hello Day, observed on 21 November of each year.
 
“Sometimes you have to find the good in goodbye.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Pessimism And Optimism Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
What does it mean to ‘always leave on a high note’? It means to always leave people wanting more by saying uplifting or humorous words when you are on the way out.
 
“This is not goodbye, it’s just goodnight.” -Alan Freed (1922 - 1965): signature sign-off as a radio announcer
 
‘Håfa adai’ (pronounced approximately like ‘half a day’ but leaving out the ‘l’ sound in ‘half’) is an expression for ‘hello’ in the native Chamorro language of the island of Guam and the Northern Marianas, both of which are in the Mariana islands chain. The literal translation is ‘what friend’ and the expression is sometimes informally shortened to just ‘håfa.’
 
To all, to each, a fair good night,
And pleasing dreams, and slumbers light.
-Walter Scott (1771 - 1832)
 
Overheard: I like smiling and waving at random strangers from a distance, because then they will spend the rest of the day trying to figure out who the mysterious person was that waved at them.
 
We are MFOL! . . . may your hellos outnumber your goodbyes as you continue on your journey . . . and may you never forget every day to Make Fun Of Life! . . .

Walking And Ambulating

​In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of five times around the Earth’s equator. Be sure to pick up some coconuts and bananas while you are there.
 
“If you walk backwards, you’ll never stub your toe.” -Harvey McKay
 
Humans are the ‘walking animals.’ We were made to walk all day, originally as hunter-gatherers. We were not made to sit or lay about all day. In fact, being sedentary, or inactive, for too long weakens us by causing everything from bone mass loss to muscle atrophy. So, to maintain good physical fitness - and mental fitness, walk a little or a lot, every single day, just like your long-ago ancestors did.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Physical Fitness And Exercising Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
There was an old person of Deal,
Who in walking used only his heel;
     When they said, “Tell us why?”
     He made no reply,
That mysterious old person of Deal.
-Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872)
 
Riddle: What has one hundred legs but cannot walk?
Solution: Fifty pairs of pants.
 
Amish men take about 18,425 steps per day. Amish women take about 14,196. The average American adult takes about 4,000 steps per day. Only 4 percent of Amish are obese, compared to 31 percent of the general American population.
 
“The sum of the whole is this: walk and be happy, walk and be healthy. “The best of all ways to lengthen our days” is not, as Mr. Thomas Moore has it, “to steal a few hours from night, my love;” but, with leave be it spoken, to walk steadily and with a purpose. The wandering man knows of certain ancients, far gone in years, who have staved off infirmities and dissolution by earnest walking, - hale fellows close upon eighty and ninety, but brisk as boys.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870))
 
‘Walking’ is also known as ‘ambulating.’ The word ‘walk’ is derived from the Old English word ‘wealcan’ meaning ‘to roll’ . . . which brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Let’s roll!”
 
“Walking isn’t really a lost art. One must by some such means get to the garage or parking place.” -Herbert V. Prochnow (Herbert Victor Prochnow (1897 - 1998)): as quoted in Herbert V. Prochnow and Herbert V. Prochnow, Junior, editors: “A Treasury of Humorous Quotations” (1969)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Vehicles And Driving Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
It would take about 225 million years to walk one lightyear, at the pace of 20 minutes a mile. We had better get started now if we are going to make it before dark.
 
“All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)): “Twilight of the Idols” (1888)
 
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Otis.
Otis, who?
Otis a wonderful day for a walk in the park!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Knock-Knock Jokes Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Walking is man’s best medicine.” -Hippocrates of Kos (about 460 B.C.E. - about 370 B.C.E.)
 
With the Earth being about 40,234 kilometers (25,000 miles) in circumference and the average walking rate being 4.99 kilometers (3.1 miles) per hour, it would take a person walking nonstop approximately 336 days to walk around the world, assuming that he or she did not sleep and could walk on the water’s surface as well as the land.
 
“Walk more, worry less.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Worries And Worrying Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“You must be careful how you walk, and where you go, for there are those following you who will set their feet where yours are set.” -Robert E. Lee (Robert Edward Lee (1807 - 1870))
 
“An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862): “Journals” (1838 - 1859), ‘20 April 1840’
 
Humans became bipedal between three and six million years ago. Scientists believe that humans started walking on two legs to carry objects better and to use energy more efficiently. It also gives them a better view of their surroundings. Hey, look, a squirrel!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Humans And Human Nature Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
There was a young girl of Majorca
Whose aunt was a very fast walker;
     She walked sixty miles
     And leaped fifteen stiles*,
Which astonished that girl of Majorca.
-Edward Lear (1812 - 1888): “A Book of Nonsense” (1846), limerick 101
*A stile is a type of gate in a fence or a wall that livestock such as cattle and sheep cannot step over or through, but which people can step over or through.
 
“If the Good Lord intended for us to walk, he wouldn’t have invented roller-skates.” -Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990)

The Ministry of Silly Walks is a British Government agency tasked with administering funny ways of walking. It is a fictional creation of the Monty Python comedy troupe, made for a segment in “Monty Python’s Flying Circus,” season 2, episode 14, titled ‘Face the Press,’ which first aired on television in 1970. The creation is commemorated on 7 January of each year in various locales around the world as International Silly Walks Day. Yes, you can attend, and show them your uniquely silly walk.
 
A woman went out for a walk. She came to a river and could not see a bridge anywhere. She spotted another woman on the opposite bank of the river and she shouted to her, “How can I get to the other side?!” The second woman looked up the river and down the river, and then shouted back, “You’re already on the other side!”
 
There was an old person of Wilts,
Who constantly walked upon stilts;
     He wreathed them with lilies
     And daffy-down-dillies,
That elegant person of Wilts.
-Edward Lear (1812 - 1888)
 
“After a day’s walk everything has twice its usual value.” -George Macaulay Trevelyan (1876 - 1962)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Life And Living Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
The longest walk around the world was completed by a former neon-sign salesman named Jean Béliveau (born 18 August 1955). He walked 46,600 miles around 64 countries. The trip took him 11 years and 2 months, from 18 August 2000 until 16 October 2011.
 
“Everywhere is walking distance if you’ve got the time.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955): “Steven Wright Special” (1985)
 
“There is nothing like walking to get the feel of a country. A fine landscape is like a piece of music; it must be taken at the right tempo. Even a bicycle goes too fast.” -Paul Scott Mowrer (1887 - 1971)
 
“A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world.” -Paul Dudley White (1886 - 1973)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Efforts And Benefits Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
McGee: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
O’Neill: To get away from the sound.
 
Ambulophobia is a persistent fear of walking. If you have this phobia and amaxophobia, a persistent fear of riding in a vehicle, you are pretty much not going anywhere ever, which in itself is a frightening thought.
 
Walking may help decrease the risk of heart attacks, decrease the risk of developing type 2 diabetes, and may even reduce the risk of bone fracture. Additionally, brisk walking may reduce stress and depression levels, and possibly improve cancer survival rates. To learn the exact details, consult with your health practitioner.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Health And Health Practitioners Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Me thinks that the moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)
 
Experts suggest walking 6,000 steps a day to improve health and 10,000 steps a day to lose weight - but who among us counts their steps? Small pedometers that use electromechanical switches can be worn on the hip to count steps, and GPS-enabled devices, including some cell phones, can be equipped with ‘apps’ to measure distance.
 
“Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it.” -Plato (427 B.C.E. - 347 B.C.E.)
 
Scientists believe that walking was originated underwater by ‘hopping’ air-breathing fish.
 
An average city block takes about 200 steps to cover the distance along one of its sides. If your goal is to take 10,000 steps a day, how many city blocks would you need to walk?
 
“He who limps is still walking.” -S. J. Lec (Stanislaw Jerzy Lec (1909 - 1966))
 
Are walking tours available to you in your community? Walking tours are typically organized with a tour leader and a group of participants, who walk through an area for sightseeing, to sample foods and beverages at local eateries, to visit galleries and museums, to explore parks and gardens, or to learn about landmarks and history. Walking groups can be organized for physical fitness and exercise as well.
 
“One step at a time is good walking.” -Author Unknown
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“Few people know how to take a walk. The qualifications are endurance, plain clothes, old shoes, an eye for nature, good humor, vast curiosity, good speech, good silence, and nothing too much.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
 
“Life can be a bore if you’re constantly walking sidewalks instead of a tightrope once in a while.” -Larry Wilcox
 
“Walking is also an ambulation of mind.” -Gretel Ehrlich
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​Experts note that when shopping for walking shoes, you should always buy shoes that feel comfortable right away. There is no “breaking-in period.” Also, feet swell during the day, so it is important to get fitted for walking shoes at the end of the day when feet are their largest.
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“Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far.” -Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)

Walking Woes
 
I’m sick and tired of walking,
     Walking here and there
Walking to and fro,
     Walking everywhere!
 
Tomorrow I won’t walk at all,
     I’m going to see it through,
I know I’ll have to get to school
     But walking I won’t do!
 
I’ll stomp downstairs,
     Creep through the door
And amble down the street
     I’ll wander round the corner
And traipse on my two feet!
 
I’ll plod, strut, limp, and march,
     I’ll stroll and hike and roam.
I’ll saunter, trek, and shuffle,
     As I trudge away from home.
 
I’ll meander past the school gates,
     And toddle through the door,
I’ll lumber to my classroom,
     And then I’ll walk no more!
 
By J. Shaw
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“If we all tried to make other people’s paths easy, our own feet would have a smooth, even place to walk on.” -Myrtle Reed
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“I have two doctors, my left leg and my right.” -George Macaulay Trevelyan (1876 - 1962)
 
“All walking is discovery. On foot we take the time to see things whole.” -Hal Borland
 
As with any changes in lifestyle, you may need to consult a physician and other experts before beginning a program of walking or other activities that could impact any existing health condition you might have and your personal safety. That is just something we have to tell people for their own good and so they know that we are not advising any person to undertake activities that could place a person at risk of harm . . . okey-dokey, then.
 
Edward Payson Weston (1839 - 1929) walked the 478-mile distance from Boston, Massachusetts to Washington, District of Columbia, to attend Abraham Lincoln’s 1861 inauguration as President, at which Mr. Weston received a congratulatory handshake from Mr. Lincoln, as well as newspaper coverage and a bag of peanuts. Endurance walking became a big part of his life, and at 29 years of age, he walked from Portland, Maine to Chicago, Illinois. He also did competitive walking in England and Europe. At 70 years of age, he walked the nearly 7,000 miles from New York City, New York to San Francisco, California. Known as ‘Weston the Pedestrian,’ he kept up his walking until the age of 90. To discover more details, read the book, “A Man in a Hurry” (2012), written by Nick Harris, Helen Harris, and Paul Marshall.
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“After walking by night several times, I now walk by day, but I am not aware of any crowning advantage in it.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862): “Journal,” 15 June 1851
 
“If you only walk on sunny days, you’ll never reach your destination.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

Racewalking has been an official Olympic sport for more than 90 years. The course distances vary from 1.6 kilometers (1 mile) to 153 kilometers (95 miles).
 
“You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over.” -Richard Branson (Richard Charles Nicholas Branson (born 1950))
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“Walking: The action of repeatedly falling forward and then catching oneself each time with the foot and leg before one’s face can strike the ground.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
 
A notable difference between walking and running is the amount of time each foot contacts the ground. While walking, at least one foot is in contact with the ground at any given time, and the length of time the foot is in contact is longer than while running. During running, foot contact with the ground is less than walking, and there is are periods of time in which both feet are not in contact with the ground.
 
“I can’t seem to bring myself to say, “Well, I guess I’ll be toddling along.” It isn’t that I can’t toddle. It’s that I can’t guess I’ll toddle.” -Robert Benchley (Robert Charles Benchley (1889 - 1945))
 
The best way to lose weight by walking is to take a longer, moderately paced walk (40 minutes at 60 to 65 percent maximum heart rate). Shorter, faster walks (20 to 25 minutes at 75 percent to 85 percent maximum heart rate) are best for conditioning the heart and lungs.
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“I think I cannot preserve my health and spirits unless I spend four hours a day at least - and it is commonly more than that - sauntering through the woods and fields absolutely free from all worldy engagements.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862): “Walking”
 
“Many a false step is taken by standing still.” -Arnold Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))
 
“Above all do not lose your desire to walk. Every day, I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from every illness. I have walked myself into my best thoughts and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it. But by sitting still, and the more one sits still, the closer one comes to feeling ill . . . if one keeps on walking everything will be alright.” -Søren Kierkegaard (Søren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813 - 1855))
 
“Thoughts come clearly while one walks.” -Thomas Mann (Paul Thomas ‘Thomas’ Mann (1875 - 1955))
 
“It is impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy.” -Author Unknown
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“I love walking because it clears your mind, enriches the soul, takes away stress, and opens up your eyes to a whole new world.” -Claudette Dudley
 
“Go on a nature walk, and you will witness a thousand wonders and a thousand miracles.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
 
“Walking is the enterprise and adventure of the day.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)
 
“Just put one foot in front of the other.” -Austin Peck
 
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