In local news, Mr. Oliver Kirkwood, known to his friends as ‘O.K.,’ of 1487 Rubber Tree Lane, has finally discovered what he describes as the best sign ever invented by humankind. “It keeps trespassers off my property with the greatest of ease,” he says of the notice. “So long as people continue to not know what actual poison ivy looks like, they will assume any plants they see near the sign might be poison ivy, and they avoid my property.” Poison ivy is a plant that leaves people with severe itching, redness, soreness, and even blisters, upon contact with the skin. The symptoms can last for days or weeks, and afflicted individuals are sometimes known to seek medical attention.
