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Such A Lot Of Nonsense!

9/1/2025

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Picture of a happy smiling sister and brother dressed in warm coats and standing outside, on the opposite sides of a tree trunk, on a Winter day, with evergreen trees and fallen snow in the background, and the words, ‘Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’
​These happy smiling siblings are seeing what is on www.MakeFunOfLife.net and are mildly amused . . . perhaps you will be too . . . 
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z, Liv, Learn, Love, Laugh, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.
In The Night
 
The night was growing old
     As she trudged through snow and sleet;
Her nose was long and cold,
     And her shoes were full of feet.
 
By Author Unknown: as published in Carolyn Wells: “The Nonsense Book” (1910)
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z, Liv, Learn, Love, Laugh, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.
Poor Brother
 
How very sad it is to think
     Our poor benighted brother
Should have his head upon one end,
     His feet upon the other.
 
By Author Unknown: as published in Carolyn Wells: “The Nonsense Book” (1910)
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z, Liv, Learn, Love, Laugh, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.
If you came here looking for humor, inspiration, and learning, you are in the right place. Just travel down this page, skipping the articles that might not interest you, until you come to the ones that appeal to you. When you have a moment, be sure to visit some of the more than 70 other pages on the website, such as the Life Page, which includes Childhood and Friendship, and which can be explored by clicking or tapping on the drop-down menu near the top of this page or further down this page in the right-hand column as blinking images.
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z, Liv, Learn, Love, Laugh, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.
We are MFOL! . . . and there is a lot of nonsense to get to, or in the words of William Shakespeare, “much ado about nothing” . . . so we had better get started right away . . .
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Nonsense

6/26/2025

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Picture of a colorful bubble, and the words, Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Nonsense Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.
“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t.” -Author Unknown
 
To Be Or Not To Be
 
I sometimes think I’d rather crow
     And be a rooster than to roost
And be a crow. But I dunno.
     A rooster he can roost also,
Which don’t seem fair when crows can’t crow.
     Which may help some. Still I dunno.
Crows should be glad of one thing, though;
     Nobody thinks of eating crow,
While roosters they are good enough
     For anyone unless they’re tough.
There are lots of tough old roosters, though,
     And anyway a crow can’t crow,
So mebby roosters stand more show.
     It looks that way. But I dunno.
 
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Animals And Animal Natures Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Don’t talk to me about a man’s being able to talk sense; everyone can talk sense - can he talk nonsense?” -William Pitt the Elder
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The Spoken Word And Speaking Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
Her Dairy
 
“A milkweed, and a buttercup, and cowslip,” said sweet Mary,
“Are growing in my garden-plot, and this I call my dairy.”
 
By Peter Newell (Peter Sheaf Hersey Newell (1862 - 1924)): as published in Carolyn Wells: “The Nonsense Book” (1910)
Love - Laugh - Learn - Liv - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net
Moorlands Of The Not
 
Across the moorlands of the Not
     We chase the gruesome When;
And hunt the Itness of the What
     Through forests of the Then.
Into the Inner Consciousness
     We track the crafty Where;
We spear the Ego tough, and beard
     The Selfhood in his lair.
 
With lassos of the brain we catch
     The Isness of the Was;
And in the copses* of the Whence
     We hear the think bees buzz.
We climb the slippery Whichbark tree
     To watch the Thusness roll
And pause betimes in gnostic rimes
     To woo the Over Soul.
 
By Author Unknown
*copses: small groups of trees
Love - Laugh - Learn - Liv - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net
“Colourless green ideas sleep furiously.” -Noam Chomsky (Avram Noam Chomsky (born 1928)): “Syntactic Structures” (1957); an example of a sentence that is grammatically correct yet meaningless
 
“Nothing is capable to being well set to music that is not nonsense.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719): as quoted in “The Spectator” (21 March 1711), Number 18
Love - Laugh - Learn - Liv - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net
The Moon Is Up
 
The Moon is up, the Moon is up!
     The larks begin to fly,
And, like a drowsy buttercup,
     Dark Phoebus skims the sky,
The elephant, with cheerful voice,
     Sings blithely on the spray;
The bats and beetles all rejoice,
     Then let me, too, be gay.
 
I would I were a porcupine,
     And wore a peacock’s tail;
To-morrow, if the Moon but shine,
     Perchance I’ll be a whale.
Then let me, like the cauliflower,
     Be merry while I may,
And, ere there comes a sunny hour
     To cloud my heart, be gay!
 
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Steps To Happiness By Author Unknown.​
Love - Laugh - Learn - Liv - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net
“If half the road was made of jam,
     The other half of bread,
How very nice my walks would be,”
     The greedy infant said.
-Author Unknown
 
“Remember that publishers want to keep the printing presses busy and do not object to nonsense if it can be sold.” -Stanislav Andreski: “Social Sciences as Sorcery” (1972), page 86
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The Written Word And Writing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Nonsense wakes up the brain cells. And it helps develop a sense of humor, which is awfully important in this day and age.” -Doctor Seuss (pseudonym of Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 - 1991)): as quoted in Miles Corwin: ‘Author Isn’t Just a Cat in the Hat’ article published in “The Los Angeles Times” (27 November 1983); also in Philip Nel: “Dr. Seuss: American Icon” (2004), page 38
Love - Laugh - Learn - Liv - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net
Hickory Dickory Dock
 
Hickory Dickory Dock,
     The mouse ran up the clock,
The clock struck one, and down he run,
     Hickory Dickory Dock!
 
Hickory Dickory Dock,
     The bird looked at the clock,
The clock struck two, and away she flew,
     Hickory Dickory Dock
 
Hickory Dickory Dock,
     The dog barked at the clock,
The clock struck three, fiddle-de-dee,
     Hickory Dickory Dock!
 
Hickory Dickory Dock,
     The bear slept on the clock,
The clock struck four, he ran out the door,
     Hickory Dickory Dock!
 
Hickory Dickory Dock,
     The bee buzzed round the clock,
The clock struck five, she went to her hive,
     Hickory Dickory Dock!
 
Hickory Dickory Dock,
     The hen clucked at the clock,
The clock struck six, fiddle-sticks,
     Hickory Dickory Dock!
 
Hickory Dickory Dock,
     The cat ran round the clock,
The clock struck seven, she wanted to get ‘em,
     Hickory Dickory Dock!
 
Hickory Dickory Dock,
     The horse jumped over the clock,
The clock struck eight, he ate some cake,
     Hickory Dickory Dock!
 
Hickory Dickory Dock,
     The cow danced on the clock,
The clock struck nine, she felt so fine,
 
     Hickory Dickory Dock!
 
Hickory Dickory Dock,
     The pig oinked at the clock,
The clock struck ten, she did it again,
     Hickory Dickory Dock!
 
Hickory Dickory Dock,
     The snake squirmed out of the clock,
The clock struck eleven, he said, “Let me get in,”
     Hickory Dickory Dock!
 
Hickory Dickory Dock,
     The snail slimed up the clock,
The clock struck twelve, what a sticky self,
     Hickory Dickory Dock!
 
By Author Unknown
Love - Laugh - Learn - Liv - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net
“There are two ways of dealing with nonsense in this world. One is to put nonsense in the right place; as when people put nonsense into nursery rhymes. The other is to put nonsense in the wrong place; as when they put it into educational addresses, psychological criticisms, and complaints against nursery rhymes or other normal amusements of mankind.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936)): “Child Psychology and Nonsense” (15 October 1921)
 
“Don’t, for Heaven’s sake, be afraid of talking nonsense! But you must pay attention to your nonsense.” -Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889 - 1951): “Über Gewissheit” (English: “On Certainty”) (1969), page 56
 
I Always Sneeze
 
Franks and fries, and French fondue
     Beans and burgers and biscuits, too
Chicken, chili, and cheddar cheese
     When I munch too much, I always sneeze!
 
By Author Unknown
Picture of a submarine that looks like a whale, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.
We do declare that to be such wonderful nonsense . . .
 
Riddle: If it takes a woodpecker eight months to peck a four-inch hole in a tree, how long would it take a grasshopper to kick all the seeds out of a pickle four inches long?
Solution: There is no answer for this ridiculous riddle!
 
Tweedle-Dum And Tweedle-Dee
 
Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee
     Resolved to have a battle,
For Tweedle-dum said Tweedle-dee
     Had spoiled his nice new rattle.
Just then flew by a monstrous crow,
     As big as a tar-barrel,
Which frightened both the heroes so
     They quite forgot their quarrel.
 
By Author Unknown
 
“I conclude that there is as much sense in nonsense as there is nonsense in sense.” -Anthony Burgess (pseudonym of John Burgess Wilson (1917 - 1993)): “New York Times Book Review” (9 August 1987)
Love - Laugh - Learn - Liv - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net
King Arthur
 
When good King Arthur ruled the land,
     He was a goodly king:
He stole three pecks of barley meal,
     To make a bag-pudding.
 
A bag-pudding the king did make,
     And stuffed it well with plums;
And in it put great lumps of fat,
     As big as my two thumbs.
 
The king and queen did eat thereof,
     And noblemen beside;
And what they could not eat that night,
     The queen next morning fried.
 
By Author Unknown
Love - Laugh - Learn - Liv - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net
“To appreciate nonsense requires a serious interest in life.” -Gelett Burgess (Frank Gelett Burgess (1866 - 1951)): “The Romance of the Commonplace” (1902), ‘The Sense of Humor,’ page 88
 
I love to stand upon my head
     And think of things sublime
Until my mother interrupts
     And says it’s dinner-time.
-Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Mealtimes And Eating Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“The Red Queen shook her head, ‘You may call it ‘nonsense’ if you like,’ she said, ‘but I’ve heard nonsense, compared with which that would be as sensible as a dictionary!’” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There” (1871), Chapter II
 
There once was a man who said, “How
Shall I manage to carry my cow?
     For if I should ask it
     To get in my basket,
’Twould make such a terrible row.”
-Author Unknown: as published in Carolyn Wells: “The Nonsense Book” (1910)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Cattle Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Not far from here, by a white sun, behind a green star, lived the Steelypips, illustrious, industrious, and they hadn’t a care: no spats in their vats, no rules, no schools, no gloom, no evil influence of the moon, no trouble from matter or antimatter - for they had a machine, a dream of a machine, with springs and gears and perfect in every respect. And they lived with it, and on it, and under it, and inside it, for it was all they had - first they saved up all their atoms, then they put them all together, and if one didn’t fit, why they chipped at it a bit, and everything was just fine . . .” -Stanislaw Lem (Stanislaw Herman Lem (1921 - 2006)): “Cyberiad” (1974) at https://english.lem.pl/
Love - Laugh - Learn - Liv - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net
Three Acres Of Land
 
My father left me three acres of land,
     Sing ivy, sing ivy;
My father left me three acres of land,
     Sing holly, go whistle, and ivy!
 
I ploughed it with a ram’s horn,
     Sing ivy, sing ivy;
And sowed it all over with one peppercorn.
     Sing holly, go whistle, and ivy!
 
I harrowed it with a bramble bush,
     Sing ivy, sing ivy;
And reaped it with my little penknife,
     Sing holly, go whistle, and ivy!
 
I got the mice to carry it to the barn,
     Sing ivy, sing ivy;
And thrashed it with a goose’s quill,
     Sing holly, go whistle, and ivy!
 
I got the cat to carry it to the mill,
     Sing ivy, sing ivy;
The miller he swore he would have her paw,
And the cat she swore she would scratch his face,
     Sing holly, go whistle, and ivy!
 
By Author Unknown
Love - Laugh - Learn - Liv - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net
“The nonsense that charms is close to sense.” -Mason Cooley (1927 - 2002): “City Aphorisms” (1993)
 
A Riddle
 
The man in the wilderness asked of me
     How many strawberries grew in the sea.
I answered him as I thought good,
     As many as red herrings grow in the wood.
 
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Rhyming Riddles Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgive the nonsense of those who think they talk sense.” -Robert Frost (Robert Lee Frost (1874 - 1963)): letter (7 August 1915) to Louis Untermeyer
 
“No one is exempt from talking nonsense; the misfortune is to do it solemnly.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)): “Essays” (March 1580), Book III, Chapter I
 
If
 
If all the land were apple-pie,
     And all the sea were ink;
And all the trees were bread and cheese,
     What should we do for drink?
 
By Author Unknown
 
“‘Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected.” -Charles Lamb (1775 - 1834)​
Love - Laugh - Learn - Liv - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net
A Song On King William III
 
As I walked by myself,
     And talked to myself,
Myself said unto me,
     Look to thyself,
Take care of thyself,
     For nobody cares for thee.
 
I answered myself,
     And said to myself,
In the self-same repartee,
     Look to thyself,
Or not look to thyself,
     The selfsame thing will be.
 
By Author Unknown
Love - Laugh - Learn - Liv - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net
“As Charms are nonsense, Nonsense is a Charm.” -Benjamin Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790)): “Poor Richards Almanack” (1734)
 
There once was a girl of New York
Whose body was lighter than cork;
     She had to be fed
     For six weeks upon lead,
Before she went out for a walk.
-Cosmo Monkhouse (William Cosmo Monkhouse (1840 - 1901)): as published in Carolyn Wells: “The Nonsense Book” (1910)
 
“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.” -Author Unknown: a nonsensical pseudo-Latin text used for demonstrating typography and layout, derived from chopped up words and phrases from Marcus Tullius Cicero (also known as Tully or simply Cicero (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)): ”De Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” (English: “The Purposes of Good and Evil”)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Latin Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Such a shuffling, nonsensical paragraph was, I firmly believe, never put together since the invention of letters. That which I do not, and which, I think, no one can, understand. I shall not meddle with.” -Joseph Ritson
 
“Nonsense and beauty have close connections - closer connections than Art will allow.” -E. M. Forster: “The Longest Journey” (1907), Part I, Chapter 12
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Appearances And Looks Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
“Whenever you come near the human race, there’s layers and layers of nonsense.” -Thornton Wilder (Thornton Niven Wilder (1897 - 1975)): “Our Town” (1938)
Love - Laugh - Learn - Liv - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net
Lines By A Medium
 
I might not, if I could;
     I should not, if I might;
Yet if I should I would,
     And, shoulding, I should quite!
 
I must not, yet I may;
     I can, and still I must;
But ah! I cannot - nay,
     To must I may not, just!
 
I shall, although I will,
     But be it understood,
If I may, can, shall - still
     I might, could, would, or should!
 
By Author Unknown: as published in Carolyn Wells (Carolyn Wells Houghton (1862 - 1942)): “The Nonsense Book” (1910)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poetry Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Love - Laugh - Learn - Liv - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net
Mingle a little folly with your wisdom;
a little nonsense now and then is pleasant.
[translation to English]
Misce stultitiam consiliis brevem:
Dulce est desipere in loco.
[original Latin]
-Quintus Horatius Flaccus (also known simply as Horace (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.)): “Carmina,” Book IV, Ode 12, line 27
 
“It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled seas of thought.” -John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006): “The Affluent Society” (1958), Chapter 11, section iv
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Minds And Thinking Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
O that I were, where I would be,
     Then should I be where I am not.
But where I am, there must I be,
     And where I would be, I cannot.
-Author Unknown
 
“Yally Bally had a jolly golliwog. Feeling folly, Yally Bally bought his jolly golliwog a dolly made of holly. The golliwog, feeling jolly, named the holly dollie Polly. So Yally Bally’s jolly golliwog’s holly dollie Polly’s also jolly!” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Tongue Twisters Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
 
A little nonsense now and then
     Is relished by the wisest men.
-Author Unknown
 
This is MFOL! . . . the best bunch of nonsense on the interwebs . . . remember, it is not a waste of time and effort if it brings a smile to someone’s face . . .
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The Gloop Maker

12/12/2023

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Picture
The Gloop Maker
 
There once was a sailor returning to his ship. Just as he approached the edge of the dock, he slipped and fell into the water between ship and dockside. As he hit the water, the ship began to swing toward the harbor wall, and he would have been crushed to death had not a little man, with great presence of mind, thrown a rope and hauled him to safety.

“Whew, thanks!” said the sailor. “You saved my life. Tell me, is there anything I can do for you in return?”

“Well actually,” said the man, “there is something. I’d really like to work aboard a ship and, in fact, I was just on my way to look for a job when I saw you in the water. If you could, put in a word for me. I’d be greatly obliged.”

“It is as good as done!” said the sailor. He took the little man on board and tracked down the Petty Officer. “This man saved my life just now, and he really would very much like to have a job on the ship.”

“Well, I don’t know,” said the Petty Officer. “We have a full ship’s complement, but I’ll certainly put in a word on his behalf to my superior. What does he do?”

“I’m a Gloop Maker,” said the little man eagerly.

Not wishing to appear ignorant in front of his subordinate, the Petty Officer didn’t want to ask what exactly a Gloop Maker was, so he went to see the Chief Petty Officer.

“This man saved the life of one of my sailors,” he told the Chief. “Do you think we could find him a job aboard? He’s a Gloop Maker.”

Not wishing to appear ignorant in front of his subordinate, the Chief Petty Officer asked the Warrant Officer, who asked the Sub-Lieutenant and so on, all the way through the chain of command until the request reached the Captain. After congratulating the little man, the Captain, not wanting to appear ignorant, named him ship’s Gloop Maker and ordered the Supply Officer to provide whatever materials were necessary for work to commence.

The little man asked for a strong block and tackle fitted up on the afterdeck, a small stool, a hammer and chisel, a portable furnace, a big lump of iron, a few pounds of copper, and several more of silver.

As the ship sailed, the little man set his stool alongside the chunk of iron, lit the furnace, and began to melt down the copper and silver. Then, with much hammering and chiseling, he began to add blobs of copper and curlicues of silver to the sides of the lump of iron.

Each day crewmembers stopped and stared at the wondrously strange thing taking shape at the ship’s stern. But not wishing to appear ignorant, nobody asked the Gloop Maker what he actually was making.

“Coming along nicely,” said the captain as he made his daily rounds. “Any idea precisely when it will be ready?”

“Oh yes,” said the man. “On 15 July at 1400 hours. That’s when it’ll be ready, and I’d like the crew assembled on deck at that hour, if you please, sir.”

And so, the great day came, the men assembled and the Gloop Maker put down his hammer and chisel. Proudly he stood back and indicated that the block and tackle should be lowered onto his masterpiece, with copper and silver curlicues gleaming in the sun. Carefully he directed it to be lifted from the deck and swung round until it hung over the sea at the ship’s stern.

“Ready, steady, go!” he cried, and he cut it free. And, as it fell into the deep blue waters of the Atlantic it went, “Gloop!”

​By Author Unknown
 
The End - But wait, there is much more nonsense just below!
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The Whango Tree

11/18/2023

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Picture of a bird with a big curved orange beak and intense yellow eyes, perched on a branch of a tree that has numerous long, sharp thorns growing on it, and the words, ‘Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’
​The Whango Tree
 
The woggly bird sat on the whango tree,
     Nooping the rinkum corn,
And graper and graper, alas! grew he,
     And cursed the day he was born.
His crute was clum and his voice was rum,
     As curiously thus sang he,
“Oh, would I’d been rammed and eternally clammed
     Ere I perched on this whango tree.”
 
Now the whango tree had a bubbly thorn,
     As sharp as a nootie’s bill,
And it stuck in the woggly bird’s umptum lorn
     And weepadge, the smart did thrill.
He fumbled and cursed, but that wasn’t the worst,
     For he couldn’t at all get free,
And he cried, “I am gammed, and injustibly nammed
     On the luggardly whango tree.”
 
And there he sits still, with no worm in his bill,
     Nor no guggledom in his nest;
He is hungry and bare, and gobliddered with care,
     And his grabbles give him no rest;
He is weary and sore and his tugmut is soar,
     And nothing to glob has he,
As he chirps, “I am blammed and corruptibly jammed,
     In this cuggerdom whango tree.”
 
By Author Unknown (1840): as published in Carolyn Wells: “The Nonsense Book” (1910)
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Robinson Crusoe

11/17/2023

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Picture of a tropical island covered with palm trees and sandy beaches, surrounded by an ocean of calm blue water, and the words, ‘Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’
​Robinson Crusoe
 
     The night was thick and hazy
     When the Piccadilly Daisy
Carried down the crew and captain in the sea;
     And I think the water drowned ’em,
     For they never, never found ’em,
And I know they didn’t come ashore with me.
 
     Oh! ‘twas very sad and lonely
     When I found myself the only
Population on this cultivated shore;
     But I’ve made a little tavern
     In a rocky little cavern,
And I sit and watch for people at the door.
 
     I spent no time in looking
     For a girl to do my cooking,
As I’m quite a clever hand at making stews;
     But I had that fellow Friday
     Just to keep the tavern tidy,
And to put a Sunday polish on my shoes.
 
     I have a little garden
     That I’m cultivating lard in,
As the things I eat are rather tough and dry;
     For I live on toasted lizards,
     Prickly pears, and parrot gizzards,
And I’m really very fond of beetle-pie.
 
     The clothes I had were furry,
     And it made me fret and worry
When I found the moths were eating off the hair;
     And I had to scrape and sand ’em,
     And I boiled
’em and I tanned ’em,
Till I got the fine morocco suit I wear.
 
     I sometimes seek diversion
     In a family excursion
With the few domestic animals you see;
     And we take along a carrot
     As refreshments for the parrot,
And a little can of jungleberry tea.
 
     Then we gather as we travel
     Bits of moss and dirty gravel,
And we chip off little specimens of stone;
     And we carry home as prizes
     Funny bugs of handy sizes,
Just to give the day a scientific tone.
 
     If the roads are wet and muddy
     We remain at home and study, -
For the Goat is very clever at a sum, -
     And the Dog, instead of fighting,
     Studies ornamental writing,
While the Cat is taking lessons on the drum.
 
     We retire at eleven,
     And we rise again at seven;
And I wish to call attention as I close,
     To the fact that all the scholars
     Are correct about their collars,
And particular in turning out their toes.
 
By Charles E. Carryl
 
Charles Edward Carryl was born on 30 December 1841 in New York, United States of America. He was married to Mary Wetmore in 1869. He became a businessman, a stockbroker, and a writer of children’s literature. Charles Edward Carryl passed on at 78 years of age on 3 July 1920.
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Ferry Me Across The Water

11/15/2023

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Picture of a brown and black spotted short-haired pig swimming in the shallow water from one island to another island, with a gray and white seagull standing on its back, some small fish swimming under the water’s surface alongside the pig, and the words, ‘Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’
Ferry Me Across The Water
 
“Ferry me across the water,
     Do, boatman, do.”
“If you’ve a penny in your purse
     I’ll ferry you.”
 
“I have a penny in my purse,
     And my eyes are blue;
So ferry me across the water,
     Do, boatman, do.”
 
“Step into my ferry-boat,
     Be they black or blue,
And for the penny in your purse
     I’ll ferry you.”
 
By Christina Rossetti
 
Christina Georgina Rossetti was born on 5 December 1830 in London, England. She became a poet. She is known for “Goblin Market” and “Remember,” among other works. Christina Georgina Rossetti passed on at 64 years of age on 29 December 1894 in London, England.
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I Would If I Could

11/12/2023

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Picture of a girl holding a balloon by a string, while a boy is on top of another balloon that is floating helplessly up and up and away in the air, and the words, ‘Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’
I Would If I Could
 
I would, if I could;
     If I couldn’t, though, how could I?
I couldn’t without I could, could I?
     Could you, without you could?
Could ye? could ye? could ye?
     You couldn’t without you could, could ye?
Oh that I were where I would be!
     Then should I be where I am not;
But where I am, there I must be,
     And where I would be I can not.
But, I would, if I could and I would be;
     There where I am when I’m not.
Could ye? could ye? could ye?
     Be there where you are when you’re not?
Be there where you are when you’re not?
     Could ye? could ye? could ye?
 
By Author Unknown
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The Optimistic Skipper

11/9/2023

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Picture of a wooden sailing ship on the ocean, heading toward the opening of a dark cavern or cave on a coast, and the words, ‘Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’
The Optimistic Skipper
 
The skipper of the Mary Ann, a jolly chap is he;
     With jaunty jest and merriment he gaily sails the sea.
He knows no navigation and he missed his course a mile,
     But said, “It doesn’t matter, so long as I can smile.”
He ran against an island, and he almost sank the ship -
      “Well, never mind!” he brightly said, “we’ll have a cheerful trip.”
He did not see the gathering storm, but roared a sprightly song.
      “O sailors, keep a-singing, and the way will not be long!”
 
The tempest blew him eastward and the tempest blew him west;
     Whatever way he travelled, he liked that way the best.
He lost his course entirely, but he never lost his grin;
     Said he, “The bark of laughter is the ship to travel in!”
And somewhere on the ocean, from the tropics to the pole,
     The storms are still a-buffeting that optimistic soul.
He knows no navigation, but, “What’s the odds?” asks he,
      “So long as I am sailing on the top side of the sea?”
 
By Author Unknown
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Hide And Seek

11/6/2023

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Picture of a shadowy wavy arm guy character standing next to a shadowy cat character, and the words, ‘Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’
​Hide And Seek
 
When I am alone,
     and quite alone,
I play a game,
     and it’s all my own.
 
I hide myself
     Behind myself,
And then I try
     To find myself.
 
I hide in the closet,
     Where no one can see;
Then I start looking
     Around for me.
 
I hide myself
     And look for myself;
There once was a shadow
     I took for myself.
 
I hide in a corner;
     I hide in the bed;
And when I come near me
     I pull in my head!
 
By A. B. Shiffrin
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Scintillate, Scintillate, Globule Vivific

11/3/2023

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Picture of night sky filled with stars above a line of silhouetted evergreen trees, and the words, ‘Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’
Scintillate, Scintillate, Globule Vivific
(An Obfuscation of the Traditional Words and Tune)
 
Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific
     Fain would I fathom thy nature specific
Loftily poised in the ether capacious
     Strongly resembling a gem carbonaceous!
 
When torrid Phoebus removeth his presence
     Ceasing to lamp us with fierce incandescence
Then you illumine the regions supernal
     Scintillate, scintillate, semper nocturnal.
 
The traveler on lusterless peregrination
     Gratefully hails your minute coruscation
He could not determine his journey’s direction
     But for your bright scintillating protection.
 
By Author Unknown
 
The above work is a parody, or imitation for humorous purposes, of the poem and song, “The Star” by Jane Taylor, which is shown on the Nature Page under the World Page on the Make Fun Of Life! Website.
 
Vocabulary and Spelling Words
 
• Capacious, adjective: vast; spacious.
• Carbonaceous, adjective: said chiefly of rocks or sediments, consisting of or containing carbon or its compounds, as for example, diamonds and coal.
• Coruscation, verb: to reflect or emanate light; to sparkle or glitter.
• Ether, noun: the clear sky; the upper regions of air beyond the clouds.
• Fain, adverb: with pleasure; gladly.
• Fathom, verb: understand after much thought, as for example, a difficult problem or an enigmatic person.
• Globule, noun: a small round particle of a substance; a drop.
• Incandescence, noun: the emission of radiation, as for example, light, from something of intense heat, such as fire or a star.
• Loftily, adjective: extending high into the atmosphere or sky.
• Lusterless, adjective: not bright or shiny; dull.
• Obfuscate, verb: render obscure, unclear, or unintelligible; to deliberately make something confusing.
• Peregrination, noun: a journey, especially one that is long and meandering, often on foot.
• Phoebus, noun: also known as Apollo; a character in Greek and Roman mythology.
• Poised, adjective: having a composed and self-assured manner.
• Scintillate, verb: to emit flashes of light; sparkle.
• Semper, adverb: Latin word, meaning always.
• Supernal, adjective: relating to the sky or heavens; celestial.
• Torrid, adjective: full of difficulty or tribulation; very hot and dry.
• Vivific, adjective: imparting spirit or vivacity.
 

Disclaimer: Definitions for words shown reflect their meaning within the work; some words may have additional meanings and usages beyond those given. Persons having concerns pertaining to this matter may wish to consult a professional grammarian or other expert in the various fields of languages and linguistics. We are not responsible for any misuse of words or resulting consequences from said misuse.
3 Comments

Have You Ever Seen

11/1/2023

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Picture of a young man holding one finger to his chin in an expression of pondering or thinking, and the words, ‘Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.’
Have You Ever Seen
 
Have you ever seen a sheet on a river bed?
     Or a single hair from a hammer’s head?
Has the foot of a mountain any toes?
     And is there a pair of garden hose?

Does the needle ever wink its eye?
     Why doesn’t the wing of a building fly?
Can you tickle the ribs of a parasol?
     Or open the trunk of a tree at all?

Are the teeth of a rake ever going to bite?
     Have the hands of a clock any left or right?
Can the garden plot be deep and dark?
     And what is the sound of the birch’s bark?
 
By Author Unknown
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The Walloping Window-Blind

6/10/2021

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Picture of a 5-masted schooner, a type of sailing ship, close to shore.
The Walloping Window-Blind
 
A capital ship for an ocean trip
     Was the ‘Walloping Window-Blind’ -
No gale that blew dismayed her crew
     Or troubled the captain’s mind.
The man at the wheel was taught to feel
     Contempt for the wildest blow,
And it often appeared, when the weather had cleared,
     That he’d been in his bunk below.
 
The boatswain’s mate was very sedate,
     Yet fond of amusement, too;
And he played hop-scotch with the starboard watch,
     While the captain tickled the crew.
And the gunner we had was apparently mad,
     For he sat on the after rail,
And fired salutes with the captain’s boots,
     In the teeth of the booming gale.
 
The captain sat in a commodore’s hat
     And dined in a royal way
On toasted pigs and pickles and figs
     And gummery bread each day.
But the cook was Dutch and behaved as such:
     For the food that he gave the crew
Was a number of tons of hot-cross buns
     Chopped up with sugar and glue.
 
And we all felt ill as mariners will,
     On a diet that’s cheap and rude;
And we shivered and shook as we dipped the cook
     In a tub of his gluesome food.
Then nautical pride we laid aside,
     And we cast the vessel ashore
On the Gulliby Isles, where the Poohpooh smiles,
     And the Anagazanders roar.
 
Composed of sand was that favored land,
     And trimmed with cinnamon straws;
And pink and blue was the pleasing hue
     Of the Tickletoeteaser’s claws.
And we sat on the edge of a sandy ledge
     And shot at the whistling bee;
And the Binnacle-bats wore water-proof hats
     As they danced in the sounding sea.
 
On rubagub bark, from dawn to dark,
     We fed, till we all had grown
Uncommonly shrunk, - when a Chinese junk
     Came by from the torriby zone.
She was stubby and square, but we didn’t much care,
     And we cheerily put to sea;
And we left the crew of the junk to chew
     The bark of the rubagub tree.
 
by Charles E. Carryl (1885); type of work: nonsense poem
 

Charles Edward Carryl was born on 30 December 1841 in New York, United States of America. He was married to Mary Wetmore in 1869. He became a businessman, a stockbroker, and a writer of children’s literature. Charles Edward Carryl passed on at 78 years of age on 3 July 1920.
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Extremes

8/10/2019

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Picture
Extremes
 
A little boy once played so loud
     That the thunder, up in a thundercloud,
Said, “Since I can’t be heard, why then
     I’ll never, never thunder again!”
 
And a little girl once kept so still
     That she heard a fly on the window sill
Whisper and say to a ladybird -
      “She’s the stillest child I ever heard!”
 
by James Whitcomb Riley
 
James Whitcomb Riley was born on 7 October 1849 in a two-room cabin in Greenfield, Indiana, United States of America. He became a writer and a poet. His poems tended to be humorous or sentimental, and of the approximately one thousand poems that he wrote, the majority are in dialect. His best-known works include “Little Orphant Annie” and “The Raggedy Man.” He served on the staff of the “Indianapolis Journal” newspaper. James Whitcomb Riley passed on at 66 years of age on 22 July 1916 in Indianapolis, Indiana, United States of America. 
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The Reformation of Godfrey Gore

4/9/2019

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Picture
The Reformation of Godfrey Gore
 
Godfrey Gordon Gustavus Gore -
No doubt you have heard the name before -
Was a boy who never would shut a door!
 
The wind might whistle, the wind might roar,
And teeth be aching and throats be sore,
But still he never would shut the door.
 
His father would beg, his mother implore,
“Godfrey Gordon Gustavus Gore,
We really do wish you would shut the door!”
 
Their hands they wrung, their hair they tore;
But Godfrey Gordon Gustavus Gore
Was deaf as the buoy out at the Nore.
 
When he walked forth the folks would roar,
“Godfrey Gordon Gustavus Gore,
Why don’t you think to shut the door?”
 
They rigged out a Shutter with sail and oar,
And threatened to pack off Gustavus Gore
On a voyage of penance to Singapore.
 
But he begged for mercy, and said, “No more!
Pray do not send me to Singapore
On a Shutter, and then I will shut the door!”
 
“You will?” said his parents; “then keep on shore!
But mind you do! For the plague is sore
Of a fellow that never will shut the door,
Godfrey Gordon Gustavus Gore!”
 
by William Brighty Rands
 
William Brighty Rands was born on 24 December 1823 in Chelsea, London, England. He became a writer and a poet. He is known for his many nursery rhymes. William Brighty Rands passed on at 58 years of age on 23 April 1882 in East Dulwich, London, England.
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A Kind Headed Statue

12/10/2018

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Picture
A Kind Headed Statue
 
The quiet little Transvaal,
     On peaceful profit bent,
Was ruled by wise Paul Kruger
     Its farmer president.
So stoutly had he carried
     The burdens on him laid,
The grateful Boers decided
     To have his statue made.
Their plans were quite completed, -
     A statue big and tall,
So set that all the city
     Might see the great “Oom Paul.”
But first, - as was a proper
     And gracious thing to do, -
They called on Mrs. Kruger,
     To get her notions, too.
 
Then spoke that royal woman,
     With simple, kind intent:
“Be sure to put a hat, sirs,
     Upon the president;
And hollow out the top, please,
     That rain may fill it up,
“And all the birds may find it
     A useful drinking-cup!”
So spoke dear Mrs Kruger.
     And gratefully, I think,

The birds will sing her praises
     Whene’er they take a drink.
Ah, happy is the nation
     Whose ruler cares for men;
And if his wife takes thought for birds,
     Why, it is blest again!
 
by Author Unknown
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Teddy Bear

10/5/2018

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Picture
Teddy Bear
 
A bear, however hard he tries,
     Grows tubby without exercise.
Our Teddy Bear is short and fat,
     Which is not to be wondered at;
He gets what exercise he can
     By falling off the ottoman,
But generally seems to lack
     The energy to clamber back.

Now tubbiness is just the thing
     Which gets a fellow wondering;
And Teddy worried lots about
     The fact that he was rather stout.
He thought: “If only I were thin!
     But how does anyone begin?”
He thought: “It really isn’t fair
     To grudge me exercise and air.”

For many weeks he pressed in vain
     His nose against the window-pane,
And envied those who walked about
     Reducing their unwanted stout.
None of the people he could see
      “Is quite” (he said) “as fat as me!”
Then with a still more moving sigh,
      “I mean” (he said) “as fat as I!”

Now Teddy, as was only right,
     Slept in the ottoman at night,
And with him crowded in as well
     More animals than I can tell;
Not only these, but books and things,
     Such as a kind relation brings -
Old tales of, “Once upon a time,”
     And history retold in rhyme.

One night it happened that he took 
     A peep at an old picture-book,
Wherein he came across by chance
     The picture of a King of France
(A stoutish man) and, down below,
     These words: “King Louis So and So,
Nicknamed ‘The Handsome!’ “There he sat,
     And (think of it) the man was fat!

Our bear rejoiced like anything
     To read about this famous King,
Nicknamed the “Handsome.” Not a doubt
     The man was definitely stout.
Why then, a bear (for all his tub)
     Might yet be named, “The Handsome Cub!”

“Might yet be named.” Or did he mean
     That years ago he “might have been”?
For now he felt a slight misgiving:
      “Is Louis So and So still living?
Fashions in beauty have a way
     Of altering from day to day.
Is ‘Handsome Louis’ with us yet?
     Unfortunately I forget.”

Next morning (nose to window-pane)
     The doubt occurred to him again.
One question hammered in his head:
      “Is he alive or is he dead?”
Thus, nose to pane, he pondered; but
     The lattice window, loosely shut,
Swung open. With one startled “Oh!”
     Our Teddy disappeared below.

There happened to be passing by
     A plump man with a twinkling eye,
Who, seeing Teddy in the street,
     Raised him politely on his feet,
And murmured kindly in his ear
     Soft words of comfort and of cheer:
“Well, well!” “Allow me!” “Not at all.”
      “Tut-tut!” A very nasty fall.”

Our Teddy answered not a word;
     It’s doubtful if he even heard.
Our bear could only look and look:
     The stout man in the picture-book!
That “handsome” King - could this be he,
     This man of adiposity?
“Impossible,” he thought. “But still,
     No harm in asking. Yes, I will!”

“Are you,” he said, “by any chance
     His Majesty the King of France?”
The other answered, “I am that,”
     Bowed stiffly, and removed his hat;
Then said, “Excuse me,” with an air
      “But is it Mr. Edward Bear?”
And Teddy, bending very low,
     Replied politely, “Even so!”

They stood beneath the window there,
     The King and Mr. Edward Bear,
And, handsome, if a trifle fat,
     Talked carelessly of this and that . . .
Then said His Majesty, “Well, well,
     I must get on,” and rang the bell.
“Your bear, I think,” he smiled. “Good-day!”
     And turned, and went upon his way.

A bear, however hard he tries,
     Grows tubby without exercise.
Our Teddy Bear is short and fat,
     Which is not to be wondered at.
But do you think it worries him
     To know that he is far from slim?
No, just the other way about -
     He’s proud of being short and stout.

by A. A. Milne

 
Alan Alexander Milne, also known as A. A. Milne, was born on 18 January 1882 in Kilburn, London, England. He became a novelist, a playwright, and a poet. He is known as the author of the book about a teddy bear titled, “Winnie the Pooh” (1926). Alan Alexander Milne passed on at 74 years of age on 31 January 1956 in Hartfield, Sussex, England.
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​Strictly Germ-Proof

10/3/2018

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Picture
​Strictly Germ-Proof
 
The Antiseptic Baby and the Prophylactic Pup
     Were playing in the garden when the Bunny gamboled up;
They looked upon the Creature with a loathing undisguised; -
     It wasn’t Disinfected and it wasn’t Sterilized.

They said it was a Microbe and a Hotbed of Disease;
     They steamed it in a vapor of a thousand-odd degrees;
They froze it in a freezer that was cold as Banished Hope
     And washed it in permanganate with carbolated soap.

In sulphurated hydrogen they steeped its wiggly ears;
     They trimmed its frisky whiskers with a pair of hard-boiled shears;
They donned their rubber mittens and they took it by the hand
     And elected it a member of the Fumigated Band.
 
There’s not a Micrococcus in the garden where they play;
     They bathe in pure iodoform a dozen times a day;
And each imbibes his rations from a Hygienic Cup -
     The Bunny and the Baby and the Prophylactic Pup.
 
by Arthur Guiterman (1906)
 
Vocabulary
- Prophylactic: Disease-preventing.
- Permanganate: A salt of permanganic acid.
- Carbolated soap: A salt of carbolic acid.
- Micrococcus: Spherical bacterium, usually found on the skin of mammals.
- Iodoform: Compound of iodine used as an antiseptic.
 
Arthur Guiterman was born on 20 November 1871 in Vienna, Austria to American parents. He became an American writer and poet, as well as an editor of the “Woman’s Home Companion” and the “Literary Digest.” Arthur Guiterman passed on at 71 years of age on 11 January 1943.
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I’d Like to Be a Lighthouse

9/30/2018

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Picture
I’d Like to Be a Lighthouse
 
I’d like to be a lighthouse
     All scrubbed and painted white.
I’d like to be a lighthouse
     And stay awake all night
To keep my eye on everything
     That sails my patch of sea;
I’d like to be a lighthouse
     With the ships all watching me.
 
by Rachel Lyman Field


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Whimsy on Doors

9/14/2018

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Picture
Whimsy on Doors
 
Doors are a wonderful invention
second to the wheel! Open one
at certain times and you will let fresh air in,
a guest as sweet as Spring, which has been
walking among flowers or marshes. If a gush
of Winter comes, you can - in a rush -
close it quickly with a fervent bang!
You’ll like doors - once you get the hang
of how they work! They have the terrific clout
to give two different worlds - In and Out -
to you, at will. The trick, now and again,
is knowing what to do with them - and when!
 
by Helen Harrington
 
Helen Gladys Harrington (maiden name Martin) was born on 28 February 1909 in Decatur County, Iowa, United States of America. She and her husband Marion Earl ‘Red’ Harrington (1908 - 1993) became farmers, and she also wrote poetry. Helen Gladys Harrington passed on at 90 years of age on 30 January 2000 in Lamoni, Iowa, United States of America.
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A Sailor Ballad

8/29/2018

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Picture
A Sailor Ballad
 
Oh, tie your knot with a tug and twist,
     And never a careless bend,
Look out for strands that you may have missed,
     And never leave a loose end.
 
In law or love will the ruling hold:
     If trouble away you’d fend,
Be careful ever, and often bold,
     But never leave a loose end.
 
The lag or slip of a rope will give
     A loop that you can’t defend.
You’ll hate yourself as long as you live -
     Oh, never leave a loose end!
 
Some other fellow as quick as thought
     Will do what you cannot mend -
Untie your luck or your true-love knot, -
     So never leave a loose end.
 
by Ruby Archer
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Don’t You See?

8/27/2018

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Picture
Don’t You See?
 
The day was hotter than words can tell,
     So hot the jelly-fish wouldn’t jell.
The halibut went all to butter,
     And the catfish had only force to utter
A faint sea-mew - aye, though some have doubted,
     The carp he carped and the horn-pout pouted.
 
The sardonic sardine had his sly heart’s wish
     When the angel fish fought with the paradise-fish.
’Twas a sight gave the bluefish the blues to see,
     But the seal concealed a wicked glee -
 
The day it went from bad to worse,
     Till the pickerel picked the purse-crab’s purse.
 
And that crab felt crabbeder yet, no doubt,
     Because the oyster wouldn’t shell out.
The sculpin would sculp, but hadn’t a model,
     And the codfish begged for something to coddle.
 
But to both the dolphin refused its doll,
     Till the whale was obliged to whale them all.
 
by Katherine Lee Bates
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Captain Reece

8/26/2018

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Picture
Captain Reece
 
Of all the ships upon the blue,
     No ship contained a better crew
Than that of worthy Captain Reece,
     Commanding of ‘The Mantelpiece.’
 
He was adored by all his men,
     For worthy Captain Reece, R. N.,
Did all that lay within him to
     Promote the comfort of his crew.
 
If ever they were dull or sad,
     Their captain danced to them like mad,
Or told, to make the time pass by,
     Droll legends of his infancy.
 
A feather bed had every man,
     Warm slippers and hot-water can,
Brown Windsor from the captain’s store,
     A valet, too, to every four.
 
Did they with thirst in summer burn?
     Lo, seltzogenes at every turn,
And on all very sultry days
     Cream ices handed round on trays.
 
Then currant wine and ginger-pops
     Stood handily on all the “tops”;
And also, with amusement rife,
     A “Zoetrope, or Wheel of Life.”
 
New volumes came across the sea
     From Mister Mundies libraree;
The Times and Saturday Review
     Beguiled the leisure of the crew.
 
Kind-hearted Captain Reece, R. N.,
     Was quite devoted to his men;
In point of fact, good Captain Reece
     Beatified ‘The Mantelpiece.’
 
One summer eve, at half-past ten,
     He said (addressing all his men):
“Come, tell me, please, what I can do
     To please and gratify my crew.”
 
“By any reasonable plan
     I’ll make you happy if I can;
My own convenience count as nil:
     It is my duty, and I will.”
 
Then up and answered William Lee
      (The kindly captain’s coxswain he,
A nervous, shy, low-spoken man),
     He cleared his throat and thus began:
 
“You have a daughter, Captain Reece,
     Ten female cousins and a niece,
A ma, if what I’m told is true,
     Six sisters, and an aunt or two.”
 
“Now, somehow, sir, it seems to me
     More friendly like we all should be,
If you united of ’em to
     Unmarried members of the crew.”
 
“If you’d ameliorate our life,
     Let each of us select a wife;
And as for nervous me, old pal,
     Give me your own enchanting gal!”
 
Good Captain Reece, that worthy man,
     Debated on his coxswain’s plan:
“I quite agree,” he said, “O Bill;
     It is my duty, and I will.”
 
“My daughter, that enchanting gurl,
     Has just been promised to an Earl,
And all my other familee
     To peers of various degree.”
 
“But what are dukes and viscounts to
     The happiness of all my crew?
The word I gave you I’ll fulfill;
     It is my duty, and I will.”
 
“As you desire it shall befall;
     I’ll settle thousands on you all,
And I shall be, despite my hoard,
     The only bachelor on board.”

The boatswain of ‘The Mantelpiece,’
     He blushed and spoke to Captain Reece:
“I beg your honor’s leave,” he said:
      “If you would wish to go and wed,”
 
“I have a widowed mother who
     Would be the very thing for you -
She long has loved you from afar;
     She washes for you, Captain R.”
 
The Captain saw the dame that day -
     Addressed her in this playful way -
“And did it want a wedding ring?
     It was a tempting ickle sing!”
 
“Well, well, the chaplain I will seek,
     We’ll all be married this day week
At yonder church upon the hill;
     It is my duty and I will!”
 
The sisters, cousins, aunts and niece,
     And widowed ma of Captain Reece,
Attended there as they were bid;
     It was their duty, and they did.
 
by William S. Gilbert (William Schwenck Gilbert (1836 - 1911))
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The Table and the Chair

8/21/2018

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Picture
The Table and the Chair
 
I
 
Said the Table to the Chair,
‘You can hardly be aware,
‘How I suffer from the heat,
‘And from chilblains on my feet!
‘If we took a little walk,
‘We might have a little talk!
‘Pray let us take the air!’
Said the Table to the Chair.
 
II
 
Said the Chair unto the Table,
‘Now you know we are not able!
‘How foolishly you talk,
‘When you know we cannot walk!’
Said the Table, with a sigh,
‘It can do no harm to try,
‘I’ve as many legs as you,
‘Why can’t we walk on two?’
 
III
 
So they both went slowly down,
And walked about the town
With a cheerful bumpy sound,
As they toddled round and round.
And everybody cried,
As they hastened to their side,
‘See! the Table and the Chair
Have come out to take the air!’
 
IV
 
But in going down an alley,
To a castle in a valley,
They completely lost their way,
And wandered all the day,
Till, to see them safely back,
They paid a Ducky-quack,
And a Beetle, and a Mouse,
Who took them to their house.
 
V
 
Then they whispered to each other,
‘O delightful little brother!
What a lovely walk we’ve taken!
Let us dine on Beans and Bacon!’
So the Ducky, and the leetle
Browny-Mousy and the Beetle
Dined, and danced upon their heads
Till they toddled to their beds.
 
by Edward Lear
 
Chilblain: A painful, itching swelling on the skin, typically on a hand or foot, caused by poor circulation in the skin when exposed to cold; also known as pernio.
 
Leetle: A very tiny and disgustingly cute and/or fascinating thing; derived from ‘little.’
 
Toddle: To move with short unsteady steps while learning to walk; said of a child.
 
Edward Lear was born on 12 May 1812 in Halloway, England as one of twenty-one children of a stockbroker and his wife. His childhood was passed in a comfortable home in Highgate, where, because of his epilepsy and asthma, he was educated by his sisters Anne and Sarah. They introduced him to sketching and coloring. He lacked formal training, but his interest and energy made him a skilled draftsman. Edward Lear traveled extensively, including to Egypt and India, as a talented watercolor painter of birds, animals, and landscapes. He made marvelous paintings of parrots and did whimsical illustrations for the many limericks he wrote. Edward Lear passed on at 76 years of age on 29 January 1888 in San Remo, Italy.
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Jabberwocky

7/14/2018

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Picture
Jabberwocky
 
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
     Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
     And the mome raths outgrabe.
 
“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
     The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
     The frumious Bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
     Long time the manxome foe he sought -
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
     And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
     The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
     And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
     The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
     He went galumphing back.

“And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
     Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’
”
     He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
     Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
     And the mome raths outgrabe.
 
by Lewis Carroll: “Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There” (1871)
 
Lewis Carroll is a pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, who was born on 27 January 1832 in England. He became a writer, a mathematician, a logician, an Anglican deacon, and a photographer. His is known for the books, “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” (1865) and its sequel, “Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There” (1871), as well as the poems, “The Hunting of the Snark” and “Jabberwocky,” all examples of the genre of literary nonsense. Charles Lutwidge Dodgson passed on at 65 years of age on 14 January 1898.
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The Height of the Ridiculous

7/7/2018

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Picture
​The Height of the Ridiculous
 
I wrote some lines once on a time
     In wondrous merry mood,
And thought, as usual, men would say
     They were exceeding good.
 
They were so queer, so very queer,
     I laughed as I would die;
Albeit, in the general way,
     A sober man am I.
 
I called my servant, and he came;
     How kind it was of him
To mind a slender man like me,
     He of the mighty limb!
 
“These to the printer,” I exclaimed,
     And, in my humorous way,
I added (as a trifling jest),
     “There’ll be the devil to pay.”
 
He took the paper, and I watched,
     And saw him peep within;
At the first line he read, his face
     Was all upon the grin.
 
He read the next; the grin grew broad,
     And shot from ear to ear;
He read the third; a chuckling noise
     I now began to hear.
 
The fourth; he broke into a roar;
     The fifth; his waist band split;
The sixth; he burst five buttons off,
     And tumbled in a fit.
 
Ten days and nights, with sleepless eye
     I watched that wretched man,
And since, I never dare to write
     As funny as I can.
 
by Oliver Wendell Holmes
 
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Senior was born on 29 August 1809 in Cambridge, Massachusetts, United States of America. He became a physician, a novelist, an essayist, and a poet. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Senior passed on at 85 years of age on 7 October 1894 in Boston, Massachusetts, United States of America.
1 Comment
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