Limericks

Metallic green and gold colored background, and the words, Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Limericks Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont - Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Waggy Shaggy Reggie

There once was a dog named Reggie
Who was both tremendous and shaggy.
     He was quite fierce and grim
     On the front end of him,
But his back end was friendly and waggy.

By Author Unknown
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Seemingly, the limerick galloped out of nowhere and into our world, and has been galloping about ever since. The limerick is possibly the most prolific poetic form in the English language.

A cow who enjoyed ballet,
Would practice her dance every day.
     She’d twirl and she’d leap,
     And never would sleep,
Till she’d danced all her worries away.
-Author Unknown
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Why Is the Limerick So Popular?

Well, it’s partly the shape of the thing
That makes the old limerick swing -
     Its accordion pleats
     Full of light, airy beats
Take it up like a kite on the wing!

By Author Unknown

In Need Of A Boat

In a castle that had a deep moat
Lived a chicken, a duck, and a goat.
     They wanted to go out
     And wander about
But what they needed was a boat.

By Author Unknown

A Young Angler

There was a young angler of Worthing,
Who dug up ten worms and a fur thing.
     He said, “How I wish
     Eleven fine fish
Would snap up these things I’m unearthing.”

By Author Unknown
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The two main points to keep in mind when writing a limerick are the number of syllables in each line and the rhyme pattern, or rhyme scheme.

Curds By The Whey

A cheese that was aged and gray
Was walking and talking one day.
     Said the cheese, “Kindly note
     My mama was a goat
And I’m made of curds by the whey.”

By Author Unknown
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Syllable Count for Traditional Five-Line Limerick Poems
- Line 1 has 7, 8, or 9 syllables*
- Line 2 has 7, 8, or 9 syllables
- Line 3 has 5 or 6 syllables
- Line 4 has 5 or 6 syllables
- Line 5 has 7, 8, or 9 syllables
*If the first line is 7 syllables, the second and fifth lines require the same meter, or 7 syllables each as well. If the third line has 5 syllables, the fourth line must have 5 syllables as well.

How To Write A Limerick

A limerick’s easy to write:
Five lines with a humorous bite,
     And the first one must rhyme
     With the last two each time,
While the middle two paired make it right.

By Author Unknown

There was a young lady of Wales,
Who wore her back hair in two tails;
     And a hat on her head
     That was striped black and red,
And studded with ten-penny nails.
-Author Unknown: as published in Carolyn Wells: “The Nonsense Book” (1910)
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Rhyme Scheme for Traditional Five-Line Limerick Poems
- Line 1 - A
- Line 2 - A
- Line 3 - B
- Line 4 - B
- Line 5 - A
The ‘A’ lines must rhyme with each other and the ‘B’ lines must rhyme with each other.

Hickory Dickory Dock

Hickory dickory dock,
The mouse ran up the clock;
     The clock struck one,
     And down he run,
Hickory dickory dock.

By Author Unknown
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There once was a fish named Lee,
Who lived in a coconut tree.
     He’d swim in the air,
     Without a single care,
And chat with the birds over tea.
-Author Unknown

Jeremy Hoff

A schoolboy named Jeremy Hoff
Found a little green man in his broth,
     Who yelled, “Save me, don’t frown
     I need help or I’ll drown” -
Then they both needed time to cool off.

By Graham Lester
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Aerial view of the city of Limerick, Ireland, with the River Shannon flowing through the city, green fields surrounding the housing areas, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Shown is a view from above of Limerick, Ireland. While the exact origins of the limerick itself remain partially shrouded in mystery, the five-line poem is indeed the namesake of the city of Limerick.

An Old Man’s Addition

There was an Old Man who said, “Do
Tell me how I should add two and two?
     I think more and more
     That it makes about four -
But I fear that is almost too few.”

By Author Unknown

A canner exceedingly canny
One morning remarked to his granny:
   “A canner can can
   Any thing that he can
But a canner can’t can a can, can he?”
-Carolyn Wells (Carolyn Wells Houghton (1862 - 1942))

Simply Sublime

This limerick’s simply sublime
And inspiring in meter and rhyme;
     It expresses but naught
     With intelligent thought
And to write it used acres of time.

By Author Unknown

A Tub of Squid
This squid that I have in my tub
Is just hanging around like a schlub
     Sure, he has charms,
     But with all those arms,
You’d think he could offer to scrub.
-Author Unknown
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Little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey,
     Along came a spider,
     Who sat down beside her,
And frightened Miss Muffet away.

By Author Unknown

Gherkins Pickled Perkins

There was a young lady named Perkins
Who had a great fondness for gherkins;
     She went to a tea
     And ate twenty-three
Which pickled her internal workin’s.

By Author Unknown
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Slumbering Elephant

An elephant slept in his bunk,
And in slumber his chest rose and sunk,
     But he snored - how he snored!
     All the other beasts roared -
So his wife tied a knot in his trunk.

By Author Unknown
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There was a young fellow named Flynn
Who was really remarkably thin.
     When he carried a pole
     People said, “Bless my soul!
What a shock to find out you’ve a twin.”
-Author Unknown

There was a young lady of Lynn
Who was so uncommonly thin
     That when she essayed
     To drink lemonade,
She slipped through the straw and fell in.
-Author Unknown
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Old Man On A Hill

There was an Old Man on a hill,
Who never would pay his phone bill,
     So they sent out the cops
     And changed all his door locks,
That poor Old Man with a phone bill.

By David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966): “That Isn’t Even Funny”

Ferrets

Ferrets live by a code tried and true
From which humans can benefit, too.
     Teach your sons and daughters
     To do unto otters,
As otters would do unto you.

By Author Unknown
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Sketch by Edward Lear of a man with birds in his beard, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, “It is just as I feared! -
     Two Owls and a Hen,
     Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!”
-Edward Lear: “A Book of Nonsense” (1846), limerick 1

Limerick Day, also known as Mr. Lear’s Limerick Day, is celebrated on 12 May of each year and commemorates the birthday of Edward Lear (1812 - 1888), who helped to popularize the form of poetry known as the limerick. Let’s all write a limerick in celebration!

There once was a fly on the wall.
I wonder, why didn’t it fall?
     Because its feet stuck?
     Or was it just luck?
Or does gravity miss things so small?
-Author Unknown

Limericks contain rhyme, rhythm, hyperbole, onomatopoeia, idioms, puns, and wittiness - that is enough to send a person running to find a dictionary!

A Thing

A thing with a horrible grin
And green, slimy stuff on its chin
     Was crawling and creeping
     While we were all sleeping -
I’m glad that it couldn’t get in.

By Author Unknown
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Sean And Duck

There was a young man named Sean,
Who found a duck in a pond,
     He fed it some bread,
     And patted its head,
And the duck quacked all day long.

By David Hugh Beaumont: “That Isn’t Even Funny”

Sid Meets Shark

There once was a poor boy named Sid
Who thought he knew more than he did.
     He thought that a shark
     Would turn tail if you bark,
So he swam out to try it - poor kid!

By Author Unknown

There was a young man from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
     When asked why this was,
     He said: “’Tis because
I always try and put as many words in the last line as I possibly can.”
-Author Unknown

There once was a man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line two.
-Author Unknown

Smile!

No matter how grouchy you’re feeling,
You’ll find the smile more or less healing.
     It grows in a wreath
     All around the front teeth -
Thus preserving the face from congealing.

By Anthony Euwer
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Mark’s Dark Humor

There once was a man named Mark,
Who lived alone near a park,
     When the young folks walked by,
     He would shout for a lark,
“People, you’re out after dark!”

By David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966): “That Isn’t Even Funny”

Traditionally, the third and fourth lines of limericks are indented a few spaces. Some limericks have titles and some do not.

Vicente Of San Clemente

There was a man named Vicente,
Who lived in old San Clemente,
     He sat on a wood bench,
     With an adjustable wrench,
And fixed bikes in San Clemente.

By David Hugh Beaumont: “That Isn’t Even Funny”
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How A Limerick Goes

A limerick’s rhythm, you see,
Goes, “riskety-tiskety-tee.”
     So have a good time,
     And remember to rhyme,
As you make it the best it can be.

By Author Unknown
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Young Mallory

There was a young rustic named Mallory,
who drew but a very small salary.
     When he went to the show,
     his purse made him go
to a seat in the uppermost gallery.

By Author Unknown
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Say “No, Thanks!” To Rude Limericks

Some limericks are unrefined,
Impolite and rude and unkind -
     Nothing good they contain,
     Showing only disdain -
Folks deserve a much nicer kind.

By David Hugh Beaumont (Born 1966)

Opulent Ollie

One Saturday opulent* Ollie
Thought he’d go for a ride on the trolley;
     But his pennies were few, -
     He only had two, -
So he went and made mud-pies with Polly.

By Author Unknown
*opulent: affluent, rich, wealthy, fancy.
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Whatever The Weather

Whether the weather be hot,
or whether the weather be not,
     we’ll weather the weather,
     whatever the weather,
whether we like it or not.

By Author Unknown
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Old Mister King

“My ambition,” said Old Mister King,
“Is to live as a bird on the wing.”
     Then he climbed up a steeple,
     Which scared all the people,
So they caged him and taught him to sing.

By Graham Lester
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This is MFOL! . . . your website for lively clean limericks and helpful instructions on how to write them . . .

Sketch by Edward Lear to accompany his untitled limerick poem that has the first line, There was an Old Man of El Hums, showing a man bent over and eating crumbs off the ground, with four birds doing the same, and the words, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

There was an Old Man of El Hums*,
Who lived upon nothing but Crumbs,
Which he picked off the ground, with the other birds round,
In the roads and the lanes of El Hums.
-Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, etc.” (1872), ‘Twenty-Six Nonsense Rhymes and Pictures,’ page 243

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*‘El Hums’ is the fictional setting of a limerick poem by Edward Lear. The first line of the poem reads, “There was an Old Man of El Hums.” The poem is from his book, “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, etc.” (1872), with an accompanying whimsical illustration by Mr. Lear, depicting a man and four birds picking crumbs from the ground. Mr. Lear's limericks were typically published in four lines, although limericks are also commonly written in five lines, with the third and fourth lines indented.

Edward Lear was born on 12 May 1812 in Halloway, England, as one of twenty-one children of a stockbroker and his wife. His spent his childhood in a comfortable home in Highgate. Because of his epilepsy and asthma, he was educated at home by his sisters Anne and Sarah. They introduced him to sketching and coloring. Through his interest and energy, though having had no formal training, he became a skilled draftsman. He traveled extensively in Egypt, India, Malta, Albania, Greece, the Holy Land, Ceylon, and Italy, and while visiting these countries, he used his talents as a watercolor painter to create pictures of birds, animals, and landscapes. He is known for his marvelous paintings of parrots and for his many whimsical illustrations made to accompany the nonsense limericks and poems he wrote, including the one shown above. Edward Lear passed on at 76 years of age on 29 January 1888 in San Remo, Italy.