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Twelve Rules For A Safe Halloween
1. When it looks as if a monster might be either resting or asleep, never poke it with a stick to find out which one it is.
2. Never read a book of magic spells aloud, even as a joke.
3. Do not search the basement or the attic of an old house or castle for the fuse box or circuit breaker, especially if someone tells you the weird noises are just the wind or the foundation settling.
4. When you have the benefit of numbers, stay together and never pair off or go it alone.
5. As a general rule, never solve puzzles that open portals to other worlds.
6. Do not take objects from goblins or from a haunted house.
7. If you find a town that looks deserted, there is probably a good reason for it. Do not stop and look around.
8. Do not fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you are sure you know what you are doing.
9. If you are running from a monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice. Also, note that despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shuffling along, it can still move fast enough to catch up to you.
10. Beware of strangers bearing strange tools, for example, chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from old junk.
11. Kitty has claws. That black cat may look like a harmless furball, but you are better off not trying to pick it up or pet it, and give it lots of space. Also, where there are black cats, cackling witches that want to turn you into a frog by way of incantations are likely to be nearby.
12. If something that is seven feet tall comes to your door, give it all the candy it wants, and then run out the door past it as fast as you can, and hope that you are just having a particularly bad nightmare.
By Author Unknown
1. When it looks as if a monster might be either resting or asleep, never poke it with a stick to find out which one it is.
2. Never read a book of magic spells aloud, even as a joke.
3. Do not search the basement or the attic of an old house or castle for the fuse box or circuit breaker, especially if someone tells you the weird noises are just the wind or the foundation settling.
4. When you have the benefit of numbers, stay together and never pair off or go it alone.
5. As a general rule, never solve puzzles that open portals to other worlds.
6. Do not take objects from goblins or from a haunted house.
7. If you find a town that looks deserted, there is probably a good reason for it. Do not stop and look around.
8. Do not fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you are sure you know what you are doing.
9. If you are running from a monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice. Also, note that despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shuffling along, it can still move fast enough to catch up to you.
10. Beware of strangers bearing strange tools, for example, chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from old junk.
11. Kitty has claws. That black cat may look like a harmless furball, but you are better off not trying to pick it up or pet it, and give it lots of space. Also, where there are black cats, cackling witches that want to turn you into a frog by way of incantations are likely to be nearby.
12. If something that is seven feet tall comes to your door, give it all the candy it wants, and then run out the door past it as fast as you can, and hope that you are just having a particularly bad nightmare.
By Author Unknown
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