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Cats Block Fishing Ports

1/24/2017

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​In an effort to extract higher tolls in the form of fish, cats have begun a major blockade of busy fishing ports. “We just want what’s ours,” explained the head feline, a seven-pound black-and-white housecat named Marcella. The cats have been using what has been called ‘aggressive cuteness’ to intimidate crews aboard fishing vessels as they come in with their catches each day. “If this continues,” commented one fisherman, “I will have to sell my boat and return to farming cabbages, turnips, and rutabagas to support my family.” Local authorities expect more people to turn to vegetarianism or other extreme measures to survive until the blockade ends, which is not predicted to be in the foreseeable future.
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