Letter from the Tooth Fairy
Dear ____________:
Sorry, but due to the massive quantity of children loosing teeth, we have had to resort to a form letter. Please forgive.
Thank you for leaving one [1] tooth under your pillow last night.
While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost or stolen children’s teeth, we were unable to process your request for the following reason(s) indicated below:
( ) the tooth could not be found
( ) it was not a human tooth
( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are amusing
( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to a loud, frightening snoring noises coming from the room
( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash
( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you
( ) the tooth fairy does not process fingernail and toenail clippings
( ) your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy for appropriate action
( ) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the Tooth Fairy
( ) you are age 12 or older at the time your request was received
( ) the tooth is still in your mouth
( ) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating cat at the time of our visit
( ) no night light was on at the time of our visit
( ) the snacks provided for the Tooth Fairy were not satisfactory, or were missing
( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:
[ ] gunpowder residue
[ ] hammer and chisel marks
[ ] jackhammer dents
[ ] no dental care
[ ] pliers
[ ] string
( ) Other:____________________________
Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the future.
Sincerely,
The Tooth Fairy
Dear ____________:
Sorry, but due to the massive quantity of children loosing teeth, we have had to resort to a form letter. Please forgive.
Thank you for leaving one [1] tooth under your pillow last night.
While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost or stolen children’s teeth, we were unable to process your request for the following reason(s) indicated below:
( ) the tooth could not be found
( ) it was not a human tooth
( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are amusing
( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to a loud, frightening snoring noises coming from the room
( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash
( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you
( ) the tooth fairy does not process fingernail and toenail clippings
( ) your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy for appropriate action
( ) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the Tooth Fairy
( ) you are age 12 or older at the time your request was received
( ) the tooth is still in your mouth
( ) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating cat at the time of our visit
( ) no night light was on at the time of our visit
( ) the snacks provided for the Tooth Fairy were not satisfactory, or were missing
( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:
[ ] gunpowder residue
[ ] hammer and chisel marks
[ ] jackhammer dents
[ ] no dental care
[ ] pliers
[ ] string
( ) Other:____________________________
Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the future.
Sincerely,
The Tooth Fairy
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