An Alphabet Zoo
A was an apt Alligator,
Who wanted to be a headwaiter;
He said, “I opine
In that field I could shine,
Because I am such a good skater.”
B was a beggarly Bear,
Who carefully curled his front hair;
He said, “I would buy
A red-spotted tie,
But I haven’t a penny to spare.”
C was a cool Chimpanzee,
Who went to an afternoon tea.
When they said, “Will you take
A caraway cake?”
He greedily took twenty-three!
D was a diligent Doe,
In summer she shoveled the snow;
In the spring and the fall
She did nothing at all,
And in winter the grass she would mow.
E was an erudite Ermine,
Who tried very hard to determine
If he should earn a cent,
How it ought to be spent,
And decided to purchase a sermon.
F was a fussy Flamingo,
Who remarked to his family, “By jingo!
I think I would go
To that animal show,
But they all talk such barbarous lingo.”
G was a giddy Gazelle,
Who never could learn how to spell;
But she managed to pass
To the head of her class,
Because she did fractions so well.
H was a haughty young Hawk,
Who affected society talk;
But when introduced
At a large chicken roost
He excitedly screamed out, “Oh, Lawk!”
I was an idle Iguana,
Who lived upon curried banana;
With tears he’d protest
That he never could rest
Till he learned to sing “Eileen Alanna.”
J was a jimp Jaguar,
Who purchased a Spanish guitar;
He played popular airs
At fetes and at fairs,
And down at the Fancy Bazaar.
K was a kind Kangaroo,
Whose bonnet was always askew;
So they asked her to wait
While they put it on straight
And fastened it firmly with glue.
L was a lachrymose Leopard,
Who ate up twelve sheep and a shepherd,
But the real reason why
He continued to cry
Was his food was so lavishly peppered.
M was a mischievous Marten,
Who went to the Free Kindergarten;
When they asked him to plat
A bright-colored mat,
He tackled the job like a Spartan.
N was a naughty Nylghau,
Who wandered too near a buzz saw.
It cut off his toes,
And the shrieks that arose
Filled all of the neighbors with awe.
O was an ossified Oyster,
Who decided to enter a cloister.
He could not return,
So continued to yearn
For his home in the sea, which was moister.
P was a poor old Poll Parrot,
Who had nothing to eat but a carrot,
And nothing to wear
But a wig of red hair,
And nowhere to live but a garret.
Q was a querulous Quab
Who at every trifle would sob;
He said, “I detest
To wear a plaid vest,
And I hate to eat corn from the cob!”
R was a rollicking Ram,
Attired in an old pillow sham.
When asked if he’d call
At the masquerade ball,
He said, “I’ll go just as I am.”
S was a shy Salamander,
Who slept on a sunny veranda.
She calmly reposed,
But, alas! while she dozed
They caught her and cooked her and canned her.
T was a tidy young Tapir,
Who went out to bring in the paper;
And when he came back
He made no muddy track,
For he wiped his feet clean on the scraper.
U was a young Unicorn,
The bravest that ever was born.
They bought him a boat
And they set him afloat,
And straightway he sailed for Cape Horn.
V was a vigorous Vulture,
Who taught animals physical culture;
When a pupil felt sad,
The kind teacher said,
“You needn’t consider sepulture.”
W was a wild Worm,
All day he did nothing but squirm.
They sent him to school,
But he broke every rule,
And left at the end of the term.
X was a Xiphias brave,
Who lived on the crest of the wave.
To each fish he would say,
“Good day, sir, good day!”
And then a polite bow he gave.
Y was a young Yellowhammer,
Who raised a ridiculous clamor;
And he chattered until
An owl said, “Keep still!
I’m trying to study my grammar.”
Z was a zealous old Zibet,
Toboggans he tried to prohibit.
If anyone tried
To take a sly slide,
He ordered him hanged on a gibbet.
by Carolyn Wells
Carolyn Wells Houghton was born on 18 June 1862 in Rahway, New Jersey, United States of America. She supplemented her formal education with an early-formed habit of her love of reading. After completing her schooling, she worked as a librarian for the Rahway Library Association for some years. Her love of puzzles led to her first book, “At the Sign of the Sphinx” (1896), a collection of charades. She followed with “The Jingle Book” (1899); “The Story of Betty” (1899), first of a series of novels for girls; and “Idle Idyls” (1900), a book of verse for adults. She was married to Hadwin Houghton (1855 - 1919). Her autobiography, “The Rest of My Life,” appeared in 1937. Carolyn Wells Houghton passed on at 79 years of age on 26 March 1942 in New York City, New York, United States of America.
A was an apt Alligator,
Who wanted to be a headwaiter;
He said, “I opine
In that field I could shine,
Because I am such a good skater.”
B was a beggarly Bear,
Who carefully curled his front hair;
He said, “I would buy
A red-spotted tie,
But I haven’t a penny to spare.”
C was a cool Chimpanzee,
Who went to an afternoon tea.
When they said, “Will you take
A caraway cake?”
He greedily took twenty-three!
D was a diligent Doe,
In summer she shoveled the snow;
In the spring and the fall
She did nothing at all,
And in winter the grass she would mow.
E was an erudite Ermine,
Who tried very hard to determine
If he should earn a cent,
How it ought to be spent,
And decided to purchase a sermon.
F was a fussy Flamingo,
Who remarked to his family, “By jingo!
I think I would go
To that animal show,
But they all talk such barbarous lingo.”
G was a giddy Gazelle,
Who never could learn how to spell;
But she managed to pass
To the head of her class,
Because she did fractions so well.
H was a haughty young Hawk,
Who affected society talk;
But when introduced
At a large chicken roost
He excitedly screamed out, “Oh, Lawk!”
I was an idle Iguana,
Who lived upon curried banana;
With tears he’d protest
That he never could rest
Till he learned to sing “Eileen Alanna.”
J was a jimp Jaguar,
Who purchased a Spanish guitar;
He played popular airs
At fetes and at fairs,
And down at the Fancy Bazaar.
K was a kind Kangaroo,
Whose bonnet was always askew;
So they asked her to wait
While they put it on straight
And fastened it firmly with glue.
L was a lachrymose Leopard,
Who ate up twelve sheep and a shepherd,
But the real reason why
He continued to cry
Was his food was so lavishly peppered.
M was a mischievous Marten,
Who went to the Free Kindergarten;
When they asked him to plat
A bright-colored mat,
He tackled the job like a Spartan.
N was a naughty Nylghau,
Who wandered too near a buzz saw.
It cut off his toes,
And the shrieks that arose
Filled all of the neighbors with awe.
O was an ossified Oyster,
Who decided to enter a cloister.
He could not return,
So continued to yearn
For his home in the sea, which was moister.
P was a poor old Poll Parrot,
Who had nothing to eat but a carrot,
And nothing to wear
But a wig of red hair,
And nowhere to live but a garret.
Q was a querulous Quab
Who at every trifle would sob;
He said, “I detest
To wear a plaid vest,
And I hate to eat corn from the cob!”
R was a rollicking Ram,
Attired in an old pillow sham.
When asked if he’d call
At the masquerade ball,
He said, “I’ll go just as I am.”
S was a shy Salamander,
Who slept on a sunny veranda.
She calmly reposed,
But, alas! while she dozed
They caught her and cooked her and canned her.
T was a tidy young Tapir,
Who went out to bring in the paper;
And when he came back
He made no muddy track,
For he wiped his feet clean on the scraper.
U was a young Unicorn,
The bravest that ever was born.
They bought him a boat
And they set him afloat,
And straightway he sailed for Cape Horn.
V was a vigorous Vulture,
Who taught animals physical culture;
When a pupil felt sad,
The kind teacher said,
“You needn’t consider sepulture.”
W was a wild Worm,
All day he did nothing but squirm.
They sent him to school,
But he broke every rule,
And left at the end of the term.
X was a Xiphias brave,
Who lived on the crest of the wave.
To each fish he would say,
“Good day, sir, good day!”
And then a polite bow he gave.
Y was a young Yellowhammer,
Who raised a ridiculous clamor;
And he chattered until
An owl said, “Keep still!
I’m trying to study my grammar.”
Z was a zealous old Zibet,
Toboggans he tried to prohibit.
If anyone tried
To take a sly slide,
He ordered him hanged on a gibbet.
by Carolyn Wells
Carolyn Wells Houghton was born on 18 June 1862 in Rahway, New Jersey, United States of America. She supplemented her formal education with an early-formed habit of her love of reading. After completing her schooling, she worked as a librarian for the Rahway Library Association for some years. Her love of puzzles led to her first book, “At the Sign of the Sphinx” (1896), a collection of charades. She followed with “The Jingle Book” (1899); “The Story of Betty” (1899), first of a series of novels for girls; and “Idle Idyls” (1900), a book of verse for adults. She was married to Hadwin Houghton (1855 - 1919). Her autobiography, “The Rest of My Life,” appeared in 1937. Carolyn Wells Houghton passed on at 79 years of age on 26 March 1942 in New York City, New York, United States of America.
