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 New Vacuum
I bought a new vacuum today, Plugged it in in the usual way, Switched it on - what a din; It sucked everything in, Now I’m homeless with no place to stay. by Author Unknown
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 Shown is a view from above of Limerick, Ireland. It has not been definitively established that the form of poetry called the limerick originated here. Waggy Shaggy Reggie There once was a dog named Reggie Who was both tremendous and shaggy. He was quite fierce and grim On the front end of him, But his back end was friendly and waggy. by Author Unknown Seemingly, the limerick galloped out of nowhere and into our world in the early 1800’s, and has been galloping about ever since. The limerick is possibly the most prolific poetic form in the English language. Why Is the Limerick So Popular? Well, it’s partly the shape of the thing That makes the old limerick swing - Its accordion pleats Full of light, airy beats Take it up like a kite on the wing! by Author Unknown In Need of a Boat In a castle that had a deep moat Lived a chicken, a duck, and a goat. They wanted to go out And wander about But what they needed was a boat. by Author Unknown A Young Angler There was a young angler of Worthing, Who dug up ten worms and a fur thing. He said, “How I wish Eleven fine fish Would snap up these things I’m unearthing.” by Author Unknown Curds by the Whey A cheese that was aged and gray Was walking and talking one day. Said the cheese, “Kindly note My mama was a goat And I’m made of curds by the whey.” by Author Unknown The two main points to keep in mind when writing a limerick are the number of syllables in each line and the rhyme pattern, or rhyme scheme. Syllable Count for Traditional Five-Line Limerick Poems - Line 1 has 7, 8, or 9 syllables* - Line 2 has 7, 8, or 9 syllables - Line 3 has 5 or 6 syllables - Line 4 has 5 or 6 syllables - Line 5 has 7, 8, or 9 syllables *If the first line is 7 syllables, the second and fifth lines require the same meter, or 7 syllables each as well. If the third line has 5 syllables, the fourth line must have 5 syllables as well. How to Write a Limerick A limerick’s easy to write: Five lines with a humorous bite, And the first one must rhyme With the last two each time, While the middle two paired make it right. by Author Unknown Rhyme Scheme for Traditional Five-Line Limerick Poems - Line 1 - A - Line 2 - A - Line 3 - B - Line 4 - B - Line 5 - A The ‘A’ lines must rhyme with each other and the ‘B’ lines must rhyme with each other. Hickory Dickory Dock Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock The clock struck one And down he run Hickory dickory dock. by Author Unknown Jeremy Hoff A schoolboy named Jeremy Hoff Found a little green man in his broth, Who yelled, “Save me, don’t frown I need help or I’ll drown” - Then they both needed time to cool off. by Graham Lester An Old Man’s Addition There was an Old Man who said, “Do Tell me how I should add two and two? I think more and more That it makes about four - But I fear that is almost too few.” by Author Unknown A canner exceedingly canny One morning remarked to his granny, “A canner can can Anything that he can, But a canner can’t can a can, can he?” by Carolyn Wells (1862 - 1942) Simply Sublime This limerick’s simply sublime And inspiring in meter and rhyme; It expresses but naught With intelligent thought And to write it used acres of time. by Author Unknown  There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, “It is just as I feared! - Two Owls and a Hen, Four Larks and a Wren, Have all built their nests in my beard!” by Edward Lear: “A Book of Nonsense” (1846), limerick 1 Limerick Day, also known as Mr. Lear’s Limerick Day, is celebrated on 12 May of each year and commemorates the birthday of Edward Lear (1812 - 1888), who helped to popularize the form of poetry known as the limerick. Let’s all write a limerick in celebration! Little Miss Muffet Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet Eating her curds and whey, Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her, And frightened Miss Muffet away. by Author Unknown Gherkins Pickled Perkins There was a young lady named Perkins Who had a great fondness for gherkins; She went to a tea And ate twenty-three Which pickled her internal workin’s. by Author Unknown Slumbering Elephant An elephant slept in his bunk, And in slumber his chest rose and sunk, But he snored - how he snored! All the other beasts roared - So his wife tied a knot in his trunk. by Author Unknown Old Man on a Hill There was an Old Man on a hill, Who never would pay his phone bill, So they sent out the cops And changed all his door locks, That poor Old Man with a phone bill. by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966): “That Isn’t Even Funny” Ferrets Ferrets live by a code tried and true From which humans can benefit, too. Teach your sons and daughters To do unto otters, As otters would do unto you. by Author Unknown Limericks contain rhyme, rhythm, hyperbole, onomatopoeia, idioms, puns, and wittiness - that is enough to send a person running to find a dictionary! A Thing A thing with a horrible grin And green, slimy stuff on its chin Was crawling and creeping While we were all sleeping - I’m glad that it couldn’t get in. by Author Unknown Sean and Duck There was a young man named Sean, Who found a duck in a pond, He fed it some bread, And patted its head, And the duck quacked all day long. by David Hugh Beaumont: “That Isn’t Even Funny” Sid Meets Shark There once was a poor boy named Sid Who thought he knew more than he did. He thought that a shark Would turn tail if you bark, So he swam out to try it - poor kid! by Author Unknown There was a young man from Japan Whose limericks never would scan. When asked why this was, He said: “’Tis because I always try and put as many words in the last line as I possibly can.” -Author Unknown There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two. -Author Unknown Smile! No matter how grouchy you’re feeling, You’ll find the smile more or less healing. It grows in a wreath All around the front teeth - Thus preserving the face from congealing. by Anthony Euwer Mark’s Dark Humor There once was a man named Mark, Who lived alone near a park, When the young folks walked by, He would shout for a lark, “People, you’re out after dark!” by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966): “That Isn’t Even Funny” Traditionally, the third and fourth lines of limericks are indented a few spaces. Some limericks have titles and some do not. Vicente of San Clemente There was a man named Vicente, Who lived in old San Clemente, He sat on a wood bench, With an adjustable wrench, And fixed bikes in San Clemente. by David Hugh Beaumont: “That Isn’t Even Funny” How a Limerick Goes A limerick’s rhythm, you see, Goes, “riskety-tiskety-tee.” So have a good time, And remember to rhyme, As you make it the best it can be. by Author Unknown Young Mallory There was a young rustic named Mallory, who drew but a very small salary. When he went to the show, his purse made him go to a seat in the uppermost gallery. by Author Unknown Say “No, Thanks!” to Rude Limericks Some limericks are unrefined, Impolite and rude and unkind - Nothing good they contain, Showing only disdain - Folks deserve a much nicer kind. by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966) Opulent Ollie One Saturday opulent* Ollie Thought he’d go for a ride on the trolley; But his pennies were few, - He only had two, - So he went and made mud-pies with Polly. by Author Unknown *opulent: affluent, rich, wealthy, fancy. Whatever the Weather Whether the weather be hot, or whether the weather be not, we’ll weather the weather, whatever the weather, whether we like it or not. by Author Unknown Old Mister King “My ambition,” said Old Mister King, “Is to live as a bird on the wing.” Then he climbed up a steeple, Which scared all the people, So they caged him and taught him to sing. by Graham Lester This is MFOL! . . . your website for lively clean limericks and helpful instructions on how to write them.  There was a young lady in blue,
Who said, “Is it you, Is it you?” When they said, “Yes, it is,” - She replied only, “Whizz!” That ungracious young lady in blue. by Edward Lear: “More Nonsense Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872), limerick 38  There was an Old Man of Boulak,
Who sat on a Crocodile’s back; But they said, “Towr’ds the night He may probably bite, Which might vex you, Old Man of Boulak!” by Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872), limerick 88  There was an Old Person of Spain,
Who hated all trouble and pain; So he sate on a chair, With his feet in the air, That umbrageous Old Person of Spain. by Edward Lear: “A Book of Nonsense” (1846), limerick 90  There was an Old Person of Burton,
Whose answers were rather uncertain; When they said, “How d’ye do?” He replied, “Who are you?” That distressing Old Person of Burton. by Edward Lear: “A Book of Nonsense” (1846), limerick 106  There was an Old Man of the Wrekin,
Whose shoes made a horrible creaking But they said, ‘Tell us whether, Your shoes are of leather, Or of what, you Old Man of the Wrekin?’ by Edward Lear: “A Book of Nonsense” (1846), limerick 29  There was an Old Person of Ickley,
Who could not abide to ride quickly; He rode to Karnak On a tortoise’s back, That moony Old Person of Ickley. by Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872), limerick 67  There was an Old Person whose habits,
Induced him to feed upon Rabbits; When he’d eaten eighteen, He turned perfectly green, Upon which he relinquished those habits. by Edward Lear: “A Book of Nonsense” (1846), limerick 33  There was an Old Man in a Marsh,
Whose manners were futile and harsh; He sate on a log, And sang songs to a frog, That instructive Old Man in a Marsh. by Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872), limerick 18  There was an Old Person of Sestri,
Who sate himself down in the vestry; When they said, “You are wrong!” He merely said “Bong!” That repulsive Old Person of Sestri. by Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872), limerick 71  There was an Old Man of Toulouse
Who purchased a new pair of shoes; When they asked, “Are they pleasant?” He said, “Not at present!” That turbid Old Man of Toulouse. by Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872), limerick 8  There was an Old Person of Tring,
Who embellished his nose with a ring; He gazed at the moon, Every evening in June, That ecstatic Old Person of Tring. by Edward Lear: “A Book of Nonsense” (1846), limerick 67  There was an Old Man of the Coast,
Who placidly sat on a post; But when it was cold, He relinquished his hold, And called for some hot buttered toast. by Edward Lear: “A Book of Nonsense” (1846), limerick 83  There was an Old Person of Ischia,
Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier; He danced hornpipes and jigs, And ate thousands of figs, That lively Old Person of Ischia. by Edward Lear: “A Book of Nonsense” (1846), limerick 14  There was a Young Lady of Tyre,
Who swept the loud chords of a lyre; At the sound of each sweep, She enraptured the deep, And enchanted the city of Tyre. by Edward Lear: “A Book of Nonsense” (1846), limerick 79  There was a Young Lady of Russia,
Who screamed so that no one could hush her; Her screams were extreme, No one heard such a scream, As was screamed by that Lady of Russia. by Edward Lear: “A Book of Nonsense” (1846), limerick 91  There was an Old Person of Deal,
Who in walking used only his heel; When they said, “Tell us why?” - He made no reply, That mysterious old person of Deal. by Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872)  There was a Young Lady of Greenwich,
Whose garments were border’d with Spinach; But a large spotty Calf Bit her shawl quite in half, Which alarmed that young lady of Greenwich. by Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872), limerick 65  There was an Old Man of Dunrose;
A parrot seized hold of his nose. When he grew melancholy, They said, “His name’s Polly,” Which soothed that Old Man of Dunrose. by Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872), limerick 7  There was an Old Man of Messina,
Whose daughter was named Opsibeena; She wore a small wig, And rode out on a pig, To the perfect delight of Messina. Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872), limerick 99  There was a Young Person of Ayr,
Whose head was remarkably square: On the top, in fine weather, She wore a gold feather; Which dazzled the people of Ayr. by Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872), limerick 73  There was an Old Person of Philae,
Whose conduct was scroobious and wily; He rushed up a Palm, When the weather was calm, And observed all the ruins of Philae. by Edward Lear: “A Book of Nonsense” (1846), limerick 39  There was an Old Person of Jodd,
Whose ways were perplexing and odd; She purchased a whistle, And sate on a thistle, And squeaked to the people of Jodd. Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872), limerick 96  There was a Young Lady of Poole,
Whose soup was excessively cool; So she put it to boil, By the aid of some oil, That ingenious Young Lady of Poole. by Edward Lear: “A Book of Nonsense” (1846), limerick 47 |
Life
Limerick Day, also known as Mr. Lear’s Limerick Day, is celebrated on 12 May of each year and commemorates the birthday of Edward Lear, who helped to popularize the form of poetry known as the limerick. Happy Limerick Day!
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