Kitty: Why did the cat run across the road?
Katy: Because her owner didn’t want her to.
“What are cats? Cats do what they want. They rarely listen to you. They are completely unpredictable. When you want to play, they want to be alone. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They expect you to cater to their every whim. They are moody. They leave hair everywhere. Conclusion: Cats are tiny women in little fur coats.” -Author Unknown
Cat, noun: 1. A furry keyboard cover 2. A type of alarm clock.
The domestic cat, scientific name ‘Felis silvestris catus,’ is a small, usually furry, carnivorous animal. They are often called housecats when kept as indoor pets or simply cats when there is no need to distinguish them from other felids and felines. Cats are valued by humans for companionship and their ability to hunt pests. They are now found nearly everywhere humans live in the world.
“There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.” -Author Unknown
Peggy: What do cats eat for breakfast?
Megan: Mice crispies and milk.
Cats are carnivores, or animals that eat animals. Cats use their highly sensitive sight and hearing and hunting skills to stalk, pounce on, kill, and eat small mammals, birds, fish, frogs, lizards, snakes, and bugs.
“Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?” -George Carlin
Cats are lethal hunters in part because they are sneaky and stealthy. When they walk, their back paws step almost exactly into the same place as the front paws do beforehand, which keeps noise to a minimum and limits visible tracks.
When a domestic cat goes after mice, about one pounce in three results in a catch.
“To pounce well, your cat must pounce often.” -Lynn Hollyn
Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend,
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream.
-T. S. Eliot (Thomas Stearns Eliot): “Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats” (1939)
“I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It’s not. Mine had me trained in two days.” -Bill Dana (William Szathmary)
Cats Facts
- An adult male cat is called a tom or a tomcat.
- An adult female cat is called a molly or a queen.
- A group of cats is called a clowder, a clutter, a cluster, a clan, a destruction, a herd, a pounce, a dout, a nuisance, a glorying, a glare, or a glaring.
- A young cat is called a kitten or a kit.
- A group of kittens all having the same mother is called a litter.
- The sound made by kittens is called mewing.
- The sounds made by cats are called hissing, meowing, mewing, purring, caterwauling, and yowling.
Helga: When do cats have eight legs?
Gertrude: When there are two of them.
A Cat’s Dictionary
- Purrple: A cat’s favorite color.
- Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something.
- Purring: The sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness.
- Purrpetual motion: A kitty playing.
- Purrsuasion: What a cat uses to convince you to do something for it.
- Purru: Where cats go on their vacations.
What makes a cat purr? A cat has two sets of vocal cords when born. One set, contained in a cat’s voice box, makes the ‘meow’ sound. The other set, which are actually false vocal cords, are vibrated upon inhaling and exhaling, which produces an involuntary continuous purring sound. Cats purr at about 26 cycles per second, the same frequency as an idling diesel engine. Interestingly, cats seldom meow at other cats, mostly just at humans. Cats do, however, purr and hiss at other cats.
“Cats are like greatness: Some people are born into cat-loving families, some people achieve cats, and some people have cats thrust upon them.” -William H. A. Carr
Dawn: What do you get when you cross a cat with a laughing hyena?
Eve: A giggle-puss!
Cats have excellent hearing. The ears of cats have 32 muscles that control the outer ear (human ears only have six muscles). Cats can independently twitch and rotate their ears 180 degrees, allowing cats to detect sounds from all directions without moving their heads. The little tufts of hair in their ears that help keep out dirt, direct sounds into the ear, and insulate the ears are called ‘ear furnishings.’
Ed: I heard you have a cat that can say her own name.
Ward: Yes, her name is Meow.
“One cat just leads to another.” -Ernest Hemingway
Katy: Because her owner didn’t want her to.
“What are cats? Cats do what they want. They rarely listen to you. They are completely unpredictable. When you want to play, they want to be alone. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They expect you to cater to their every whim. They are moody. They leave hair everywhere. Conclusion: Cats are tiny women in little fur coats.” -Author Unknown
Cat, noun: 1. A furry keyboard cover 2. A type of alarm clock.
The domestic cat, scientific name ‘Felis silvestris catus,’ is a small, usually furry, carnivorous animal. They are often called housecats when kept as indoor pets or simply cats when there is no need to distinguish them from other felids and felines. Cats are valued by humans for companionship and their ability to hunt pests. They are now found nearly everywhere humans live in the world.
“There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.” -Author Unknown
Peggy: What do cats eat for breakfast?
Megan: Mice crispies and milk.
Cats are carnivores, or animals that eat animals. Cats use their highly sensitive sight and hearing and hunting skills to stalk, pounce on, kill, and eat small mammals, birds, fish, frogs, lizards, snakes, and bugs.
“Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?” -George Carlin
Cats are lethal hunters in part because they are sneaky and stealthy. When they walk, their back paws step almost exactly into the same place as the front paws do beforehand, which keeps noise to a minimum and limits visible tracks.
When a domestic cat goes after mice, about one pounce in three results in a catch.
“To pounce well, your cat must pounce often.” -Lynn Hollyn
Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend,
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream.
-T. S. Eliot (Thomas Stearns Eliot): “Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats” (1939)
“I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It’s not. Mine had me trained in two days.” -Bill Dana (William Szathmary)
Cats Facts
- An adult male cat is called a tom or a tomcat.
- An adult female cat is called a molly or a queen.
- A group of cats is called a clowder, a clutter, a cluster, a clan, a destruction, a herd, a pounce, a dout, a nuisance, a glorying, a glare, or a glaring.
- A young cat is called a kitten or a kit.
- A group of kittens all having the same mother is called a litter.
- The sound made by kittens is called mewing.
- The sounds made by cats are called hissing, meowing, mewing, purring, caterwauling, and yowling.
Helga: When do cats have eight legs?
Gertrude: When there are two of them.
A Cat’s Dictionary
- Purrple: A cat’s favorite color.
- Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something.
- Purring: The sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness.
- Purrpetual motion: A kitty playing.
- Purrsuasion: What a cat uses to convince you to do something for it.
- Purru: Where cats go on their vacations.
What makes a cat purr? A cat has two sets of vocal cords when born. One set, contained in a cat’s voice box, makes the ‘meow’ sound. The other set, which are actually false vocal cords, are vibrated upon inhaling and exhaling, which produces an involuntary continuous purring sound. Cats purr at about 26 cycles per second, the same frequency as an idling diesel engine. Interestingly, cats seldom meow at other cats, mostly just at humans. Cats do, however, purr and hiss at other cats.
“Cats are like greatness: Some people are born into cat-loving families, some people achieve cats, and some people have cats thrust upon them.” -William H. A. Carr
Dawn: What do you get when you cross a cat with a laughing hyena?
Eve: A giggle-puss!
Cats have excellent hearing. The ears of cats have 32 muscles that control the outer ear (human ears only have six muscles). Cats can independently twitch and rotate their ears 180 degrees, allowing cats to detect sounds from all directions without moving their heads. The little tufts of hair in their ears that help keep out dirt, direct sounds into the ear, and insulate the ears are called ‘ear furnishings.’
Ed: I heard you have a cat that can say her own name.
Ward: Yes, her name is Meow.
“One cat just leads to another.” -Ernest Hemingway
So, you climbed a tree . . . and you cannot get back down . . . clearly you did not think your actions through from the beginning - now how are you going to get out of this bind?
Why do cats get stuck in trees? Cats can easily climb up into trees, but they cannot climb down head-first from trees, because their claws curve in the wrong direction for them to be able do so. So, to climb back down, cats must go down tail-first. However, cats may not know this instinctively, and therefore, they must learn how to do it. Until they do, many cats find trees to be very effective cat traps. Fortunately, cats do not stay permanently stuck up in trees; they always find their way back down on their own, even without human help, when hunger, thirst, or weather compels them. And, due to their mewing when temporarily stuck in trees, overly-compassionate humans often come to their aid.
Kat: How do you spell mousetrap in three letters?
Kate: C-a-t.
Why do cats arch their backs? Cats arch their backs as part of a complex body language system, usually associated with feeling threatened or being caught off guard. The backs of cats are extremely flexible because they have 30 loosely fitting vertebrae (not including the additional 18 to 23 tail vertebrae, in cats that have tails).
Remember the cat that discovered happiness was in its tail: He could never catch it, but when he ignored it, it followed him everywhere.
Katherine: What happened to the cat that swallowed a ball of yarn?
Katrina: She had three little kittens with mittens!
Two Cats of Kilkenny
There once were two cats of Kilkenny;
Each thought there was one cat too many;
So they scratched and they spit,
And they tore and they bit,
Till, instead of two cats, there wasn’t any.
by Author Unknown
Domestic cats love to play, and this is especially true with kittens, who love to chase toys and play fight. Play fighting among kittens is a way for them to learn and practice the skills for hunting and fighting.
“There is something about the presence of a cat . . . that seems to take the bite out of being alone.” -Louis J. Camuti
Kitty has claws. Domestic cats have eighteen claws: five on each of their front paws and four on each of their back paws. The claws on the back paws of cats are not as sharp as the claws on the front paws because the claws in the back do not retract, and consequently, become worn.
The earliest ancestors of domesticated cats were wildcats that lived about 25 million years ago in Europe and Asia. Scientists call them by the Greek word ‘Proailurus,’ meaning ‘First cat.’ Humans began domesticating cats in about 7500 B.C.E.
“There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.” -Albert Schweitzer
Domestic cats do not like swimming because their fur becomes heavy and does not insulate well against the cold when wet. The Turkish Van, however, is a type of cat that likes to swim. Originating in central Asia, it has a coat with a unique texture that makes it water resistant.
Ailurophobia is a persistent fear or loathing of cats. People with ailurophobia may fear being scratched or bitten by a cat or they simply may fear cats altogether, sometimes as a result of superstitious beliefs. Some people quite rationally avoid cats because they are allergic to cat dander. ‘Ailurophobia’ is derived from the Greek words ‘ailouros’ meaning ‘cat’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’
“There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person.” -Dan Greenberg
When cats fall from heights, they tend to land on their feet due to their ‘righting reflex.’ The eyes and balance organs in their inner ears tell cats where they are in space so that they can land on their feet. Even cats without tails have this ability.
When cats fall through the air, they always land on their feet, and when toast falls through the air, it always lands with the buttered side down. We propose strapping buttered toast to the backs of cats, and the combination would hover, spinning just slightly above the ground. A large number of these buttered-toast-and-cats could be easily assembled to create a high-speed train that would link New York with Seattle.
Cat Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice,
And sofa cushions, soft and nice.
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,
And someone nice to scratch my back,
For windowsills all warm and bright,
For shadows to explore at night.
I pray I’ll always stay real cool
And keep the secret feline rule
To never tell a human that
The world is really ruled by cats!
by Author Unknown
Chelsea: What happened when the cat slept under the car?
Chester: She woke up oily the next morning.
Why do cats get stuck in trees? Cats can easily climb up into trees, but they cannot climb down head-first from trees, because their claws curve in the wrong direction for them to be able do so. So, to climb back down, cats must go down tail-first. However, cats may not know this instinctively, and therefore, they must learn how to do it. Until they do, many cats find trees to be very effective cat traps. Fortunately, cats do not stay permanently stuck up in trees; they always find their way back down on their own, even without human help, when hunger, thirst, or weather compels them. And, due to their mewing when temporarily stuck in trees, overly-compassionate humans often come to their aid.
Kat: How do you spell mousetrap in three letters?
Kate: C-a-t.
Why do cats arch their backs? Cats arch their backs as part of a complex body language system, usually associated with feeling threatened or being caught off guard. The backs of cats are extremely flexible because they have 30 loosely fitting vertebrae (not including the additional 18 to 23 tail vertebrae, in cats that have tails).
Remember the cat that discovered happiness was in its tail: He could never catch it, but when he ignored it, it followed him everywhere.
Katherine: What happened to the cat that swallowed a ball of yarn?
Katrina: She had three little kittens with mittens!
Two Cats of Kilkenny
There once were two cats of Kilkenny;
Each thought there was one cat too many;
So they scratched and they spit,
And they tore and they bit,
Till, instead of two cats, there wasn’t any.
by Author Unknown
Domestic cats love to play, and this is especially true with kittens, who love to chase toys and play fight. Play fighting among kittens is a way for them to learn and practice the skills for hunting and fighting.
“There is something about the presence of a cat . . . that seems to take the bite out of being alone.” -Louis J. Camuti
Kitty has claws. Domestic cats have eighteen claws: five on each of their front paws and four on each of their back paws. The claws on the back paws of cats are not as sharp as the claws on the front paws because the claws in the back do not retract, and consequently, become worn.
The earliest ancestors of domesticated cats were wildcats that lived about 25 million years ago in Europe and Asia. Scientists call them by the Greek word ‘Proailurus,’ meaning ‘First cat.’ Humans began domesticating cats in about 7500 B.C.E.
“There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.” -Albert Schweitzer
Domestic cats do not like swimming because their fur becomes heavy and does not insulate well against the cold when wet. The Turkish Van, however, is a type of cat that likes to swim. Originating in central Asia, it has a coat with a unique texture that makes it water resistant.
Ailurophobia is a persistent fear or loathing of cats. People with ailurophobia may fear being scratched or bitten by a cat or they simply may fear cats altogether, sometimes as a result of superstitious beliefs. Some people quite rationally avoid cats because they are allergic to cat dander. ‘Ailurophobia’ is derived from the Greek words ‘ailouros’ meaning ‘cat’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’
“There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person.” -Dan Greenberg
When cats fall from heights, they tend to land on their feet due to their ‘righting reflex.’ The eyes and balance organs in their inner ears tell cats where they are in space so that they can land on their feet. Even cats without tails have this ability.
When cats fall through the air, they always land on their feet, and when toast falls through the air, it always lands with the buttered side down. We propose strapping buttered toast to the backs of cats, and the combination would hover, spinning just slightly above the ground. A large number of these buttered-toast-and-cats could be easily assembled to create a high-speed train that would link New York with Seattle.
Cat Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice,
And sofa cushions, soft and nice.
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,
And someone nice to scratch my back,
For windowsills all warm and bright,
For shadows to explore at night.
I pray I’ll always stay real cool
And keep the secret feline rule
To never tell a human that
The world is really ruled by cats!
by Author Unknown
Chelsea: What happened when the cat slept under the car?
Chester: She woke up oily the next morning.
Cats sleep on average 12 to 16 hours a day, but never quite as deep as humans. Instead, they fall asleep quickly and wake up intermittently to check to see if their surroundings are safe. This means a nine-year old cat has been awake for only 3 to 4.5 years of its life. By snoozing so much, cats are missing out on a lot of life, so we should all take a lesson from this and stop snoozing so much ourselves.
Jim: Why do cats run around just before dawn?
Tim: They are looking for the ‘early bird.’
The eyesight of cats is both worse and better than that of humans. It is worse because cats cannot see color as well as humans do - scientists believe green grass appears red to cats. It is better because cats have a 285-degree field of vision and very good night vision, allowing them to see at light levels six times lower than what humans can see. Cats have natural built-in and fully-integrated night vision goggles, called cat eyes.
Myrna: What kind of cat will keep your grass short?
Myrtle: A lawn meower.
A cat usually has about 12 whiskers on each side of its face, divided into four rows. However, if you try to count them yourself, you might find your cat uncooperative, because whiskers are very sensitive to the touch. Cats use their whiskers to determine if spaces are too small to squeeze through. The whiskers act as feelers or antennae, helping cats judge the precise width of possible passageways.
A Kitten’s Thought
It’s very nice to think of how
In every country lives a Cow
To furnish milk with all her might
For Kitten’s comfort and delight.
by Oliver Herford
Young cats are called kittens. Like humans, kittens are born with blue eyes, and their permanent eye color sets in soon thereafter. One reason that kittens sleep so much is because they have a growth hormone that is released only during sleep. Kittens have about 26 temporary teeth, which are replaced with 30 permanent teeth when they reach about six months of age.
The Trouble with a kitten is that
Eventually it becomes a Cat
-Ogden Nash
Patsy: What goes, “Meow-tweet, meow-tweet?”
Patty: A catbird.
“I have been lying to both of my cats for years. Anytime they meow at me, I tell them, ‘I know, I know!’ . . . but I don’t . . . I just don’t know . . .” -Author Unknown
Foods that must not be given to cats include chocolate, onions, garlic, green tomatoes, raw potatoes, grapes, and raisins. The pain relievers acetaminophen and aspirin are extremely toxic to cats. While it is safe and even beneficial for cats to eat grass, many common houseplants are poisonous to cats. Feeding either only dog food or canned tuna meant for human consumption to cats can cause malnutrition. Most importantly, your cat wants you to know that it cannot survive on a vegetarian diet because cats were designed to be meat eaters.
Saul: How do you get milk from a cat?
Sal: Steal its saucer.
“Man is a kind of locomotive tree, pleasant to rub against, the lower limbs of which afford a comfortable seat, and from whose upper branches occasionally drop tidbits of mutton and other luscious fruit.” -Anonymous Cat
Ingrid: If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?
Gretta: Their paws.
“Most cats, when they are Out want to be In, and vice versa, and often simultaneously.” -Louis J. Camuti
Mother Cat
There was a mother cat,
Who ate a ball of yarn,
And when she had kittens,
They all had sweaters on.
by Author Unknown
“My wife said to me, ‘I think the cat wants to go out.’ ‘How could you possibly know that?’ I asked. ‘He’s put his hat and coat on,’ she said.” -Author Unknown
The ability of cats to find their way home is called ‘psi-traveling.’ Experts think cats either use the angle of the sunlight to find their way home, or that cats have magnetized cells in their brains that act as compasses.
“To keep a cat at home, butter its feet.” -Author Unknown
Advertisement: “Situation Wanted: Healthy kitten seeks good home - honest, loyal, conscientious, will do light mousework.”
Cats are employed on farms to help reduce the vermin population (rats, mice, and other small, destructive animals).
“Meow is like aloha - it can mean anything.” -Hank Ketchum
This is MFOL! . . . we wish you and all of your fury friends a purrrfectly marvelous day!
Jim: Why do cats run around just before dawn?
Tim: They are looking for the ‘early bird.’
The eyesight of cats is both worse and better than that of humans. It is worse because cats cannot see color as well as humans do - scientists believe green grass appears red to cats. It is better because cats have a 285-degree field of vision and very good night vision, allowing them to see at light levels six times lower than what humans can see. Cats have natural built-in and fully-integrated night vision goggles, called cat eyes.
Myrna: What kind of cat will keep your grass short?
Myrtle: A lawn meower.
A cat usually has about 12 whiskers on each side of its face, divided into four rows. However, if you try to count them yourself, you might find your cat uncooperative, because whiskers are very sensitive to the touch. Cats use their whiskers to determine if spaces are too small to squeeze through. The whiskers act as feelers or antennae, helping cats judge the precise width of possible passageways.
A Kitten’s Thought
It’s very nice to think of how
In every country lives a Cow
To furnish milk with all her might
For Kitten’s comfort and delight.
by Oliver Herford
Young cats are called kittens. Like humans, kittens are born with blue eyes, and their permanent eye color sets in soon thereafter. One reason that kittens sleep so much is because they have a growth hormone that is released only during sleep. Kittens have about 26 temporary teeth, which are replaced with 30 permanent teeth when they reach about six months of age.
The Trouble with a kitten is that
Eventually it becomes a Cat
-Ogden Nash
Patsy: What goes, “Meow-tweet, meow-tweet?”
Patty: A catbird.
“I have been lying to both of my cats for years. Anytime they meow at me, I tell them, ‘I know, I know!’ . . . but I don’t . . . I just don’t know . . .” -Author Unknown
Foods that must not be given to cats include chocolate, onions, garlic, green tomatoes, raw potatoes, grapes, and raisins. The pain relievers acetaminophen and aspirin are extremely toxic to cats. While it is safe and even beneficial for cats to eat grass, many common houseplants are poisonous to cats. Feeding either only dog food or canned tuna meant for human consumption to cats can cause malnutrition. Most importantly, your cat wants you to know that it cannot survive on a vegetarian diet because cats were designed to be meat eaters.
Saul: How do you get milk from a cat?
Sal: Steal its saucer.
“Man is a kind of locomotive tree, pleasant to rub against, the lower limbs of which afford a comfortable seat, and from whose upper branches occasionally drop tidbits of mutton and other luscious fruit.” -Anonymous Cat
Ingrid: If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?
Gretta: Their paws.
“Most cats, when they are Out want to be In, and vice versa, and often simultaneously.” -Louis J. Camuti
Mother Cat
There was a mother cat,
Who ate a ball of yarn,
And when she had kittens,
They all had sweaters on.
by Author Unknown
“My wife said to me, ‘I think the cat wants to go out.’ ‘How could you possibly know that?’ I asked. ‘He’s put his hat and coat on,’ she said.” -Author Unknown
The ability of cats to find their way home is called ‘psi-traveling.’ Experts think cats either use the angle of the sunlight to find their way home, or that cats have magnetized cells in their brains that act as compasses.
“To keep a cat at home, butter its feet.” -Author Unknown
Advertisement: “Situation Wanted: Healthy kitten seeks good home - honest, loyal, conscientious, will do light mousework.”
Cats are employed on farms to help reduce the vermin population (rats, mice, and other small, destructive animals).
“Meow is like aloha - it can mean anything.” -Hank Ketchum
This is MFOL! . . . we wish you and all of your fury friends a purrrfectly marvelous day!
The Ducks Song
I see the ducks,
The ducks see me.
I like the ducks,
The ducks like me.
Big green ducks,
One, two, three.
I like the ducks,
And the ducks like me.
by Author Unknown
Image shown: Black East India Duck, with a bit of green iridescence.
I see the ducks,
The ducks see me.
I like the ducks,
The ducks like me.
Big green ducks,
One, two, three.
I like the ducks,
And the ducks like me.
by Author Unknown
Image shown: Black East India Duck, with a bit of green iridescence.
A squirrel and a chipmunk - but how can you know for certain which is which?
Squirrels live in a variety of habitats. The three types of squirrels are tree squirrels (with bushy tails), ground squirrels (with non-bushy tails), and flying squirrels.
Well, now, let’s see . . . you’re bright-eyed and bushy-tailed? You are definitely a squirrel! Squirrels are known for their big bushy tails, which they use to balance themselves while they scamper around in trees and on the ground. They also use their tails to communicate in squirrel sign-language. For example, they can flick their tails when a dog is near to let other squirrels know to ‘scurry away to safety - pronto!’
“A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit.” -Sarah Jessica Parker (born 1965)
Squirrels have tufts of hair on their pointed ears, large dark eyes, whiskers, claws on their feet, sharp teeth, powerful hind legs, and long bushy tails. They have five toes on their back feet and four toes on their front feet. Their front toes have sharp claws, which allow them to grip tree trunks. Their hind legs are double-jointed, which helps them run up and down trees very quickly.
Chipmunks are squirrels, strangely enough. Lively and speedy critters, chipmunks are diminutive members of the squirrel family. Their pudgy cheeks, large glossy eyes, stripes, and tails have made them a favorite among cartoonists, and have landed them starring roles in Hollywood productions (“Alvin and the Chipmunks,” for example). Their distinctive stripes have led to the term ‘timber tigers’ being humorously used as a nickname for them. We might think of chipmunks as the smaller and spunkier members of the squirrel family.
“Chipmunks are squirrels with racing stripes.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Chipmunks are the smallest members of the squirrel family, at about 17.78 to 27.94 centimeters (7 to 11 inches) long, including their long, bushy tails. They weigh roughly 28 to 142 grams (1 to 5 ounces). Chipmunks have gray-brown fur, with dark and light stripes along the back and light-colored undersides. Their eyes are surrounded by white fur, and they have dark brown stripes on their faces.
Skippy: What does a chipmunk do when it rains?
Buddy: It gets wet!
Squirrels (other than chipmunk ones) range in size from 13 to 92 centimeters (5 to 36 inches) long, including their tails. They weigh about 300 to 713 grams (10.58 ounces to 25.29 ounces). Gray squirrels have color phases that include black, red, albino, and a blending of red and black. The black phase tends to be more common further north.
If you still cannot tell the difference between a squirrel and a chipmunk, it might help to remember that the squirrel is the one with a moose for a best friend, while the chipmunk has stripes and can sing, just as they are shown in television shows and in movies. What, you say those ones are not real animals? You are joking, right? No?!
All squirrels, including the type of ground squirrels called chipmunks, have large expandable cheek pouches at the sides of their mouths, into which they can stuff considerable quantities of food, and then scamper off to ‘squirrel their food away’ in their secret hiding places.
Squirrels and Chipmunks Facts
- An adult male squirrel is called a buck.
- An adult female squirrel is called a doe.
- A young squirrel is called a pup, a kit, or a kitten.
- A group of squirrels is called a scurry or a squad.
- The sounds made by squirrels are called chirping and squeaking.
- Squirrels live in North America, Europe, Asia, and Africa.
- Squirrels in the wild can live for as long as 6 years.
- Squirrels in captivity can live for as long as 15 years.
- Chipmunks in the wild can live for as long as 3 years.
- Chipmunks in captivity can live for as long as 8 years.
The Squirrel
Whisky frisky,
Hippity hop
Up he goes
To the top!
Whirly twirly,
Round and round
Down he scampers
To the ground.
Furly, curly,
What a tail!
Tall as a feather,
Broad as a sail!
Where’s his supper?
In the shell,
Snap, cracky,
Out it fell.
by Author Unknown
A squirrel’s nest is called a dray or a drey. Squirrels usually build nests at or above the ground’s surface, often in holes in the trunks of trees. Chipmunks burrow underground to nest. Many chipmunks dig extensive burrows that can be more than 3.5 meters (11 feet) long. These burrows often have more than one entrance and have chambers, or rooms, in which chipmunks store large amounts of food for the Winter. Some chipmunks make nests in logs or in bushes.
Dorothy: How do you catch a squirrel?
Doris: Climb a tree and act like a nut.
Clive: How do you catch a European squirrel?
Kyle: Climb a tree and act like a ‘metric’ nut.
The Flying Squirrel
The flying squirrel is crazy.
Though he has no feathers (much less wings),
He scampers up into the tallest tree
And cries, “Toot-toot! I’m a parachute!”
And away off the highest branches he springs
Into empty air, spreading every hair,
His arms and legs spread wide to the side,
Till he lands with a thump that’s almost quiet . . .
Admire it, child, but don’t you try it!
by John Gardner (1933 - 1982): “A Child’s Bestiary” (1977), page 23
Why are flying squirrels not seen more often? Flying squirrels are nocturnal, meaning they prefer to be out and about and on the move when it is dark. They can climb high up into trees and then jump or leap, positioning all four legs so that their gliding membrane (skin) is fully spread out, and then they land on a tree branch or a tree trunk, using their tails as brakes. Yes, what you may have suspected is indeed true: ‘flying squirrels’ cannot actually fly; they can only glide through the air, at distances of up to 90 meters (295 feet). Should we change their name to ‘nocturnal gliding squirrels,’ or ‘night gliders,’ for short?
Humans have long been envious of the flying squirrels’ aerial skills. Base jumpers and skydivers have even developed special ‘wing suits’ that let them mimic flying squirrels. The suits work to slow their descent and allow them to control their maneuvering as they glide through the atmosphere. Then, at a distance well above the ground, these extreme sporters release parachutes to make a greatly slowed final descent to the Earth’s surface.
Squirrels are omnivores, or animals that eat both plants and animals. Squirrels will eat seeds, nuts, grains, leaves, flowers, fruit, tree bark, roots, bulbs, mushrooms, caterpillars, worms, insects, eggs, small birds, mice, and other small animals. By far, their favorite food is nuts such as acorns, followed closely by sunflower seeds. Urban-dwelling, or city, squirrels have adapted themselves to eating just about anything, including pizza, luncheon meats, bread, and other kinds of human foods. When their usual food is scarce, they must eat anything they can find to survive - but so far, there are no known instances of squirrels eating humans, not even people who have fallen asleep on park benches.
Biff: How does a nut feel when a squirrel chews on it?
Buffy: Nut so good!
Squirrels beware - human food is extremely bad for you. Icky caramel-covered popcorn, yucky salted peanuts, disgusting greasy oil-fried chips, cardboard-like pizza - stay away from such gastrointestinal nightmares! Just look at how these foods cause humans to have bizarre and unnatural shapes and mobility impairments - oh, the horror of it all! Squirrels, it’s best to stick to the diet nature intended for you. Nature knows best, after all.
“Please do not feed the squirrels. If you feed the squirrels, they will become overweight, and prone to disease. Their population will grow, and they will lose their ability to forage for food on their own. They will expect you to feed them and they will attack you if you do not. They will become like little welfare recipients, and you would not want to do this to them.” -Author Unknown: sign posted in Rocky Mountain National Park, United States of America
Why do squirrels hide their food? Gray squirrels and Fox squirrels hide their food in many places, so that if another squirrel or animal finds a part of their food, their entire winter’s supply of food is unlikely to be eaten by those other animals. Sometimes squirrels hide food temporarily until they can move it to a better location, in a technique known as ‘scatter hoarding.’ Red squirrels and Pine squirrels dig shallow pits, referred to as ‘middens,’ where they store the pinecones they gather. They then cover this food supply with leaves and other debris to create a cold, moist storage environment, which is a practice called ‘larder hoarding.’ Squirrels need hidden food reserves to provide them with meals during the parts of the year when food is less plentiful, particularly during the cold Winter season when most plants do not grow or are dormant.
Millions of trees around the world, and in some cases, entire forests, have been planted by squirrels stowing away food for later use. Squirrels gather and bury large numbers of nuts and seeds, and then forget where they have hidden some of them. After enough time in the ground, and with proper temperature, moisture, and sunlight, the nuts and seeds sprout and grow into trees.
The Chipmunk
My friends all know that I am shy
But the chipmunk is twice as shy as I
He moves with flickering indecision
Like stripes across a television
He’s like the shadow of a cloud
Or Emily Dickinson read out loud.
by Ogden Nash
Like other wildlife, squirrels are best admired from a distance. If you attempt to feed squirrels by holding food in your fingers or in the palm of your hand, you could find yourself with painful squirrel bites. Squirrels do not usually bite people on purpose, unless they are provoked into a situation where they believe their lives are in danger, or they are under duress because of traumatic memories from bad past encounters with humans or other animals. However, it should be noted that the eyes of squirrels are set into their heads in such a way that they can have difficulty seeing objects directly in front of their faces, so they might unintentionally confuse your fingers or your hand with the food you are offering to them, and consequently bite you when trying to grasp the food with their sharp rodent teeth. Additionally, although cute and furry and fun to watch, squirrels can also be carriers of highly contagious interspecies diseases. If you are bitten or scratched by a squirrel or other wild animal, you will need to go to a hospital right away to get tetanus and rabies vaccination injections, as well as treatment for possible bubonic plague, as a precaution against contracting these diseases, which can be transmitted from squirrels to humans and can result in serious, even life-threatening, illnesses. This information is not intended to take the fun out of your visit to the park or your enjoyment of having a backyard squirrel feeding station, but it is intended to inform you of the potential risks of human-squirrel (and other human-wildlife) interactions.
Bert: How can you tell when a squirrel has been hiding its acorns in your chocolate pudding?
Bret: The pudding will be lumpier than usual.
The largest concentration of squirrels in the United States of America is in the nation’s capital, which is Washington in the District of Columbia, specifically in Lafayette Park near the White House. In this ‘Squirrel Capital of the World,’ the little rodents roam free and are well fed by thousands of government employees, tourists, and other visitors who share the park with the squirrels every day.
“This is a Tale about a tail - a tail that belonged to a little red squirrel, and his name was Nutkin.” -Beatrix Potter (Helen Beatrix ‘Beatrix’ Potter (1866 - 1943)): “The Tale of Squirrel Nutkin” (1903)
The word ‘squirrel’ comes from the Greek word ‘skiouros’ meaning ‘shadow tail.’
“I knew I was nuts the day the squirrels started looking at me funny.” -Author Unknown
A squirrel’s four front teeth never stop growing. Their teeth are worn down when they chomp on nuts and tree bark.
Squirrels have excellent eyesight. The large eyes of squirrels help them avoid predators.
The predators of squirrels, or animals that hunt and eat them, include bears, coyotes, eagles, foxes, hawks, domestic cats, humans, lynxes, owls, raccoons, snakes, and weasels.
When squirrels are frightened, they run back and forth and in different directions to confuse predators.
Some squirrels can run at speeds of up to 32 kilometers (20 miles) an hour, and some squirrels can jump distances of up to 6 meters (20 feet).
There are about 280 species of squirrels, including 25 species of chipmunks. They could all be living in your attic right now, filling the space between the walls and under the floor with nuts and nesting material, chewing the insulation off wires, and chewing holes in the walls to make entrances and exits. Additionally, they are not paying any rent money to you.
Squirrels and Chipmunks Quiz
- Where do squirrels live?
- Are squirrels chipmunks, or are chipmunks squirrels?
- What do squirrels eat?
Riddle: I scurry around gathering acorns and storing them for the Winter - who am I?
Solution: I am a squirrel.
Squirrels and Chipmunks Quiz Answers
- Squirrels make their homes below ground or up in trees.
- Chipmunks are small squirrels with striped fur.
- Squirrels are omnivores, and they eat plant material and animals including insects.
Squirrels
Squirrels do not watch
ridiculous late-night TV,
And that is why they are
smarter than you and me.
by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
This is MFOL! . . . are you having as much fun today as squirrels are having?
Squirrels live in a variety of habitats. The three types of squirrels are tree squirrels (with bushy tails), ground squirrels (with non-bushy tails), and flying squirrels.
Well, now, let’s see . . . you’re bright-eyed and bushy-tailed? You are definitely a squirrel! Squirrels are known for their big bushy tails, which they use to balance themselves while they scamper around in trees and on the ground. They also use their tails to communicate in squirrel sign-language. For example, they can flick their tails when a dog is near to let other squirrels know to ‘scurry away to safety - pronto!’
“A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit.” -Sarah Jessica Parker (born 1965)
Squirrels have tufts of hair on their pointed ears, large dark eyes, whiskers, claws on their feet, sharp teeth, powerful hind legs, and long bushy tails. They have five toes on their back feet and four toes on their front feet. Their front toes have sharp claws, which allow them to grip tree trunks. Their hind legs are double-jointed, which helps them run up and down trees very quickly.
Chipmunks are squirrels, strangely enough. Lively and speedy critters, chipmunks are diminutive members of the squirrel family. Their pudgy cheeks, large glossy eyes, stripes, and tails have made them a favorite among cartoonists, and have landed them starring roles in Hollywood productions (“Alvin and the Chipmunks,” for example). Their distinctive stripes have led to the term ‘timber tigers’ being humorously used as a nickname for them. We might think of chipmunks as the smaller and spunkier members of the squirrel family.
“Chipmunks are squirrels with racing stripes.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Chipmunks are the smallest members of the squirrel family, at about 17.78 to 27.94 centimeters (7 to 11 inches) long, including their long, bushy tails. They weigh roughly 28 to 142 grams (1 to 5 ounces). Chipmunks have gray-brown fur, with dark and light stripes along the back and light-colored undersides. Their eyes are surrounded by white fur, and they have dark brown stripes on their faces.
Skippy: What does a chipmunk do when it rains?
Buddy: It gets wet!
Squirrels (other than chipmunk ones) range in size from 13 to 92 centimeters (5 to 36 inches) long, including their tails. They weigh about 300 to 713 grams (10.58 ounces to 25.29 ounces). Gray squirrels have color phases that include black, red, albino, and a blending of red and black. The black phase tends to be more common further north.
If you still cannot tell the difference between a squirrel and a chipmunk, it might help to remember that the squirrel is the one with a moose for a best friend, while the chipmunk has stripes and can sing, just as they are shown in television shows and in movies. What, you say those ones are not real animals? You are joking, right? No?!
All squirrels, including the type of ground squirrels called chipmunks, have large expandable cheek pouches at the sides of their mouths, into which they can stuff considerable quantities of food, and then scamper off to ‘squirrel their food away’ in their secret hiding places.
Squirrels and Chipmunks Facts
- An adult male squirrel is called a buck.
- An adult female squirrel is called a doe.
- A young squirrel is called a pup, a kit, or a kitten.
- A group of squirrels is called a scurry or a squad.
- The sounds made by squirrels are called chirping and squeaking.
- Squirrels live in North America, Europe, Asia, and Africa.
- Squirrels in the wild can live for as long as 6 years.
- Squirrels in captivity can live for as long as 15 years.
- Chipmunks in the wild can live for as long as 3 years.
- Chipmunks in captivity can live for as long as 8 years.
The Squirrel
Whisky frisky,
Hippity hop
Up he goes
To the top!
Whirly twirly,
Round and round
Down he scampers
To the ground.
Furly, curly,
What a tail!
Tall as a feather,
Broad as a sail!
Where’s his supper?
In the shell,
Snap, cracky,
Out it fell.
by Author Unknown
A squirrel’s nest is called a dray or a drey. Squirrels usually build nests at or above the ground’s surface, often in holes in the trunks of trees. Chipmunks burrow underground to nest. Many chipmunks dig extensive burrows that can be more than 3.5 meters (11 feet) long. These burrows often have more than one entrance and have chambers, or rooms, in which chipmunks store large amounts of food for the Winter. Some chipmunks make nests in logs or in bushes.
Dorothy: How do you catch a squirrel?
Doris: Climb a tree and act like a nut.
Clive: How do you catch a European squirrel?
Kyle: Climb a tree and act like a ‘metric’ nut.
The Flying Squirrel
The flying squirrel is crazy.
Though he has no feathers (much less wings),
He scampers up into the tallest tree
And cries, “Toot-toot! I’m a parachute!”
And away off the highest branches he springs
Into empty air, spreading every hair,
His arms and legs spread wide to the side,
Till he lands with a thump that’s almost quiet . . .
Admire it, child, but don’t you try it!
by John Gardner (1933 - 1982): “A Child’s Bestiary” (1977), page 23
Why are flying squirrels not seen more often? Flying squirrels are nocturnal, meaning they prefer to be out and about and on the move when it is dark. They can climb high up into trees and then jump or leap, positioning all four legs so that their gliding membrane (skin) is fully spread out, and then they land on a tree branch or a tree trunk, using their tails as brakes. Yes, what you may have suspected is indeed true: ‘flying squirrels’ cannot actually fly; they can only glide through the air, at distances of up to 90 meters (295 feet). Should we change their name to ‘nocturnal gliding squirrels,’ or ‘night gliders,’ for short?
Humans have long been envious of the flying squirrels’ aerial skills. Base jumpers and skydivers have even developed special ‘wing suits’ that let them mimic flying squirrels. The suits work to slow their descent and allow them to control their maneuvering as they glide through the atmosphere. Then, at a distance well above the ground, these extreme sporters release parachutes to make a greatly slowed final descent to the Earth’s surface.
Squirrels are omnivores, or animals that eat both plants and animals. Squirrels will eat seeds, nuts, grains, leaves, flowers, fruit, tree bark, roots, bulbs, mushrooms, caterpillars, worms, insects, eggs, small birds, mice, and other small animals. By far, their favorite food is nuts such as acorns, followed closely by sunflower seeds. Urban-dwelling, or city, squirrels have adapted themselves to eating just about anything, including pizza, luncheon meats, bread, and other kinds of human foods. When their usual food is scarce, they must eat anything they can find to survive - but so far, there are no known instances of squirrels eating humans, not even people who have fallen asleep on park benches.
Biff: How does a nut feel when a squirrel chews on it?
Buffy: Nut so good!
Squirrels beware - human food is extremely bad for you. Icky caramel-covered popcorn, yucky salted peanuts, disgusting greasy oil-fried chips, cardboard-like pizza - stay away from such gastrointestinal nightmares! Just look at how these foods cause humans to have bizarre and unnatural shapes and mobility impairments - oh, the horror of it all! Squirrels, it’s best to stick to the diet nature intended for you. Nature knows best, after all.
“Please do not feed the squirrels. If you feed the squirrels, they will become overweight, and prone to disease. Their population will grow, and they will lose their ability to forage for food on their own. They will expect you to feed them and they will attack you if you do not. They will become like little welfare recipients, and you would not want to do this to them.” -Author Unknown: sign posted in Rocky Mountain National Park, United States of America
Why do squirrels hide their food? Gray squirrels and Fox squirrels hide their food in many places, so that if another squirrel or animal finds a part of their food, their entire winter’s supply of food is unlikely to be eaten by those other animals. Sometimes squirrels hide food temporarily until they can move it to a better location, in a technique known as ‘scatter hoarding.’ Red squirrels and Pine squirrels dig shallow pits, referred to as ‘middens,’ where they store the pinecones they gather. They then cover this food supply with leaves and other debris to create a cold, moist storage environment, which is a practice called ‘larder hoarding.’ Squirrels need hidden food reserves to provide them with meals during the parts of the year when food is less plentiful, particularly during the cold Winter season when most plants do not grow or are dormant.
Millions of trees around the world, and in some cases, entire forests, have been planted by squirrels stowing away food for later use. Squirrels gather and bury large numbers of nuts and seeds, and then forget where they have hidden some of them. After enough time in the ground, and with proper temperature, moisture, and sunlight, the nuts and seeds sprout and grow into trees.
The Chipmunk
My friends all know that I am shy
But the chipmunk is twice as shy as I
He moves with flickering indecision
Like stripes across a television
He’s like the shadow of a cloud
Or Emily Dickinson read out loud.
by Ogden Nash
Like other wildlife, squirrels are best admired from a distance. If you attempt to feed squirrels by holding food in your fingers or in the palm of your hand, you could find yourself with painful squirrel bites. Squirrels do not usually bite people on purpose, unless they are provoked into a situation where they believe their lives are in danger, or they are under duress because of traumatic memories from bad past encounters with humans or other animals. However, it should be noted that the eyes of squirrels are set into their heads in such a way that they can have difficulty seeing objects directly in front of their faces, so they might unintentionally confuse your fingers or your hand with the food you are offering to them, and consequently bite you when trying to grasp the food with their sharp rodent teeth. Additionally, although cute and furry and fun to watch, squirrels can also be carriers of highly contagious interspecies diseases. If you are bitten or scratched by a squirrel or other wild animal, you will need to go to a hospital right away to get tetanus and rabies vaccination injections, as well as treatment for possible bubonic plague, as a precaution against contracting these diseases, which can be transmitted from squirrels to humans and can result in serious, even life-threatening, illnesses. This information is not intended to take the fun out of your visit to the park or your enjoyment of having a backyard squirrel feeding station, but it is intended to inform you of the potential risks of human-squirrel (and other human-wildlife) interactions.
Bert: How can you tell when a squirrel has been hiding its acorns in your chocolate pudding?
Bret: The pudding will be lumpier than usual.
The largest concentration of squirrels in the United States of America is in the nation’s capital, which is Washington in the District of Columbia, specifically in Lafayette Park near the White House. In this ‘Squirrel Capital of the World,’ the little rodents roam free and are well fed by thousands of government employees, tourists, and other visitors who share the park with the squirrels every day.
“This is a Tale about a tail - a tail that belonged to a little red squirrel, and his name was Nutkin.” -Beatrix Potter (Helen Beatrix ‘Beatrix’ Potter (1866 - 1943)): “The Tale of Squirrel Nutkin” (1903)
The word ‘squirrel’ comes from the Greek word ‘skiouros’ meaning ‘shadow tail.’
“I knew I was nuts the day the squirrels started looking at me funny.” -Author Unknown
A squirrel’s four front teeth never stop growing. Their teeth are worn down when they chomp on nuts and tree bark.
Squirrels have excellent eyesight. The large eyes of squirrels help them avoid predators.
The predators of squirrels, or animals that hunt and eat them, include bears, coyotes, eagles, foxes, hawks, domestic cats, humans, lynxes, owls, raccoons, snakes, and weasels.
When squirrels are frightened, they run back and forth and in different directions to confuse predators.
Some squirrels can run at speeds of up to 32 kilometers (20 miles) an hour, and some squirrels can jump distances of up to 6 meters (20 feet).
There are about 280 species of squirrels, including 25 species of chipmunks. They could all be living in your attic right now, filling the space between the walls and under the floor with nuts and nesting material, chewing the insulation off wires, and chewing holes in the walls to make entrances and exits. Additionally, they are not paying any rent money to you.
Squirrels and Chipmunks Quiz
- Where do squirrels live?
- Are squirrels chipmunks, or are chipmunks squirrels?
- What do squirrels eat?
Riddle: I scurry around gathering acorns and storing them for the Winter - who am I?
Solution: I am a squirrel.
Squirrels and Chipmunks Quiz Answers
- Squirrels make their homes below ground or up in trees.
- Chipmunks are small squirrels with striped fur.
- Squirrels are omnivores, and they eat plant material and animals including insects.
Squirrels
Squirrels do not watch
ridiculous late-night TV,
And that is why they are
smarter than you and me.
by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
This is MFOL! . . . are you having as much fun today as squirrels are having?
A wise person once said, “Never pet a bear unless it is a rug.”
Fuzzy Wuzzy
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear;
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair;
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t very fuzzy,
Was ’e?
by Author Unknown: as published in “Wisconsin’s Rapids Daily Tribune” (31 July 1942) newspaper
(Was ’e: Was he)
Bears are large, furry animals that inhabit many different environments, including forests, swamps, mountains, and grasslands. Bears are found in North America, Asia, Europe, and to a lesser extent, South America.
Bears Facts
- An adult male bear is called a boar.
- An adult female bear is called a sow.
- A young bear is called a cub.
- The plural of bear is bears.
- A group of bears is called a family, a sleuth, or a sloth.
- The sounds made by bears are called chomps, growls, grunts, huffs, moans, snorts, and woofs.
- Bears are found in the wild on every continent except Africa, where they are now extinct, and Australia, which they have never naturally inhabited.
Elijah: Why did the bear tiptoe through the campground?
Eleanor: Because he did not want to wake the sleeping bags.
Eight species of bears are now living on Earth.
- American black bears (Ursus americanus)
- Asiatic black bears (Ursus thibetanus)
- Brown bears (Ursus arctos, which includes the sub-species grizzly bears (Ursus arctos horribilis))
- Giant pandas (Ailuropoda melanoleuca)
- Polar bears (Ursus maritimus)
- Sloth bears (Melursus ursinus)
- Spectacled bears (Tremarctos ornatus)
- Sun bears (Helarctos malayanus)
Fuzzy Wuzzy
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear;
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair;
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t very fuzzy,
Was ’e?
by Author Unknown: as published in “Wisconsin’s Rapids Daily Tribune” (31 July 1942) newspaper
(Was ’e: Was he)
Bears are large, furry animals that inhabit many different environments, including forests, swamps, mountains, and grasslands. Bears are found in North America, Asia, Europe, and to a lesser extent, South America.
Bears Facts
- An adult male bear is called a boar.
- An adult female bear is called a sow.
- A young bear is called a cub.
- The plural of bear is bears.
- A group of bears is called a family, a sleuth, or a sloth.
- The sounds made by bears are called chomps, growls, grunts, huffs, moans, snorts, and woofs.
- Bears are found in the wild on every continent except Africa, where they are now extinct, and Australia, which they have never naturally inhabited.
Elijah: Why did the bear tiptoe through the campground?
Eleanor: Because he did not want to wake the sleeping bags.
Eight species of bears are now living on Earth.
- American black bears (Ursus americanus)
- Asiatic black bears (Ursus thibetanus)
- Brown bears (Ursus arctos, which includes the sub-species grizzly bears (Ursus arctos horribilis))
- Giant pandas (Ailuropoda melanoleuca)
- Polar bears (Ursus maritimus)
- Sloth bears (Melursus ursinus)
- Spectacled bears (Tremarctos ornatus)
- Sun bears (Helarctos malayanus)
There was an Old Person of Ware,
Who rode on the back of a bear;
When they ask’d, “Does it trot?”
He said, “Certainly not!
He’s a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear!”
-Edward Lear (1812 -1888): “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872), limerick 43
So, how can you tell the difference between a brown bear and a grizzly bear? First, climb a tree. Next, observe which of the following occurs: 1. If the bear climbs the tree after you and eats you, it is a brown bear. 2. If the bear knocks down the tree and eats you, it is a grizzly bear.
Bears vary in size from 1.1 to 3 meters (3.5 to 10 feet) long and weigh from 25 to 770 kg (55 to 1,700 pounds). The largest bear is the Polar Bear, and the smallest bear is the Sun Bear (also known as the honey bear or the Malay bear).
Bear fur ranges in color from black to brown to blond to white.
The scientific name for the ‘grizzly bear’ is ‘Ursus arctos horribilis.’ Yes, you have guessed correctly - ‘horribilis’ is Latin for ‘horrible.’ Scientists have decided to label grizzlies as ‘horrible bears.’ Grrr-rrr!
Esther: What kind of bears like to go out in the rain?
Estella: Drizzly bears!
Bears belong to the order Carnivora, a group of animals that are regarded as being mainly carnivorous, or eaters of meat. However, most bears are omnivorous, or eaters of both meat and plants. Omnivorous bears like honey, but more often they will eat grass, leaves, fruits, berries, nuts, roots, bees and other insects, fish, birds, and mammals such as deer, elk, and slow joggers. Polar bears are the one exception: they are carnivorous, or eaters of meat only. So remember, if a bear eats you, it is not being cruel to you in particular; it is just doing what bears do.
Brenda: What did the bear say when she saw skateboarders?
Melinda: “Mmmm, meals on wheels!”
Despite sometimes being called ‘koala bears,’ koalas are not bears. One of the main differences between koalas and bears is that koalas, like kangaroos, opossums, and other marsupials, have pouches in which they carry their young, whereas bears do not. Koalas are also herbivores, or animals that eat plants, so koalas do not eat humans and other animals.
Who rode on the back of a bear;
When they ask’d, “Does it trot?”
He said, “Certainly not!
He’s a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear!”
-Edward Lear (1812 -1888): “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872), limerick 43
So, how can you tell the difference between a brown bear and a grizzly bear? First, climb a tree. Next, observe which of the following occurs: 1. If the bear climbs the tree after you and eats you, it is a brown bear. 2. If the bear knocks down the tree and eats you, it is a grizzly bear.
Bears vary in size from 1.1 to 3 meters (3.5 to 10 feet) long and weigh from 25 to 770 kg (55 to 1,700 pounds). The largest bear is the Polar Bear, and the smallest bear is the Sun Bear (also known as the honey bear or the Malay bear).
Bear fur ranges in color from black to brown to blond to white.
The scientific name for the ‘grizzly bear’ is ‘Ursus arctos horribilis.’ Yes, you have guessed correctly - ‘horribilis’ is Latin for ‘horrible.’ Scientists have decided to label grizzlies as ‘horrible bears.’ Grrr-rrr!
Esther: What kind of bears like to go out in the rain?
Estella: Drizzly bears!
Bears belong to the order Carnivora, a group of animals that are regarded as being mainly carnivorous, or eaters of meat. However, most bears are omnivorous, or eaters of both meat and plants. Omnivorous bears like honey, but more often they will eat grass, leaves, fruits, berries, nuts, roots, bees and other insects, fish, birds, and mammals such as deer, elk, and slow joggers. Polar bears are the one exception: they are carnivorous, or eaters of meat only. So remember, if a bear eats you, it is not being cruel to you in particular; it is just doing what bears do.
Brenda: What did the bear say when she saw skateboarders?
Melinda: “Mmmm, meals on wheels!”
Despite sometimes being called ‘koala bears,’ koalas are not bears. One of the main differences between koalas and bears is that koalas, like kangaroos, opossums, and other marsupials, have pouches in which they carry their young, whereas bears do not. Koalas are also herbivores, or animals that eat plants, so koalas do not eat humans and other animals.
Do you like to go out in the woods to fish or pick berries? Bears do, too, though they do not use a rod and reel or a bucket - just their big sharp claws and big sharp teeth (the better to eat you with). Statistically, the odds are greater than zero that when you are out in the woods, there will be a bear somewhere nearby - maybe right behind you and approaching fast. Always keep your wits about you when in the out-of-doors, and take a friend to be your bear lookout while you fish or pick berries.
Grizzly Bear
If you ever, ever, ever
meet a grizzly bear,
You must never, never, never
ask him where
He is going,
or what he is doing;
For if you ever, ever dare
to stop a grizzly bear,
You will never
meet another grizzly bear.
by Mary Austin
Campaigns to bear-proof all garbage containers in wild areas have been difficult because, as one wildlife biologist put it, “There is a considerable overlap between the intelligence levels of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.”
In National Parks in the United States of America and in parks in other parts of the world, signs are posted that tell people not to feed the bears. Bears hunt and scavenge for food. They will eat any food they find, including food thrown in the garbage, pet food, and birdseed. Bears will also eat empty toothpaste tubes and containers such as pizza boxes that have the scent of food on them. If you travel through or live in bear country, do not place anything edible where it is accessible to bears. When bears find food, they will return again and again to the spot and may take up residence and stake out a territory around the area, becoming not just a nuisance, but a danger to people, pets, and livestock (farm animals), all of which bears regard as food and territorial trespassers.
Gary: What does every bear need?
Ryan: Just the ‘bear’ necessities!
Bear homes are called dens, and they can be cavities or recesses in rocks, hollow trees, caves, holes dug into the ground, or just nice comfortable spots in bushes or brush piles. Bears are also known to sleep or rest up in the branches of trees.
Laura: What do you call bears with no ears?
Nora: B.
Grizzly Bear
If you ever, ever, ever
meet a grizzly bear,
You must never, never, never
ask him where
He is going,
or what he is doing;
For if you ever, ever dare
to stop a grizzly bear,
You will never
meet another grizzly bear.
by Mary Austin
Campaigns to bear-proof all garbage containers in wild areas have been difficult because, as one wildlife biologist put it, “There is a considerable overlap between the intelligence levels of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.”
In National Parks in the United States of America and in parks in other parts of the world, signs are posted that tell people not to feed the bears. Bears hunt and scavenge for food. They will eat any food they find, including food thrown in the garbage, pet food, and birdseed. Bears will also eat empty toothpaste tubes and containers such as pizza boxes that have the scent of food on them. If you travel through or live in bear country, do not place anything edible where it is accessible to bears. When bears find food, they will return again and again to the spot and may take up residence and stake out a territory around the area, becoming not just a nuisance, but a danger to people, pets, and livestock (farm animals), all of which bears regard as food and territorial trespassers.
Gary: What does every bear need?
Ryan: Just the ‘bear’ necessities!
Bear homes are called dens, and they can be cavities or recesses in rocks, hollow trees, caves, holes dug into the ground, or just nice comfortable spots in bushes or brush piles. Bears are also known to sleep or rest up in the branches of trees.
Laura: What do you call bears with no ears?
Nora: B.
When a bear stands up on its hind, or back, legs, it is trying to get a better view of a situation, or a bear’s eye view, and it may or may not intend to chomp on you. However, just to be safe, you should have a plan for what to do in case a bear does intend to maul (attack) you. Because laws and bears differ from place to place, your best source of information on what to do will likely be local people, including park rangers, law enforcement officers, experienced hunters, and long-time residents.
Giant panda bears can spend up to sixteen hours a day feeding themselves, on twenty to forty pounds of food each day. Unlike other bears that eat a lot of protein in the form of meat, a wild giant panda’s diet is about ninety-nine percent bamboo, with the remaining one percent consisting of other grasses and occasionally small rodents or musk deer fawns. In zoos, giant pandas eat bamboo, sugar cane, rice gruel, special high-fiber biscuits, carrots, apples, and sweet potatoes. Who’s hungry?
Furry Bear
If I were a bear
And a big bear too,
I shouldn’t much care
If it froze or snew;
I wouldn’t much mind
If it snowed or friz-
I’d be all fur-lined
With a coat like his!
by A. A. Milne (Alan Alexander Milne (1882 - 1956))
Bears can sense food - which means you - from distances of up to 29 kilometers (18 miles) away.
Giant panda bears can spend up to sixteen hours a day feeding themselves, on twenty to forty pounds of food each day. Unlike other bears that eat a lot of protein in the form of meat, a wild giant panda’s diet is about ninety-nine percent bamboo, with the remaining one percent consisting of other grasses and occasionally small rodents or musk deer fawns. In zoos, giant pandas eat bamboo, sugar cane, rice gruel, special high-fiber biscuits, carrots, apples, and sweet potatoes. Who’s hungry?
Furry Bear
If I were a bear
And a big bear too,
I shouldn’t much care
If it froze or snew;
I wouldn’t much mind
If it snowed or friz-
I’d be all fur-lined
With a coat like his!
by A. A. Milne (Alan Alexander Milne (1882 - 1956))
Bears can sense food - which means you - from distances of up to 29 kilometers (18 miles) away.
What is a bear tree? A bear tree is any tree used as a rubbing and scratching post by a bear. Experienced outdoors people can identify bear trees and other signs of bear activity, which allows them to know when they are in a bear’s territory and then to hightail it out of there immediately!
Algy
Algy met a bear,
The bear met Algy.
The bear was bulgy,
The bulge was Algy.
by Author Unknown
Bears are solitary animals. Only mother bears and their cubs live together. Father bears do not help to raise the cubs. In fact, father bears do not even recognize their own offspring, and will treat them as they would any other trespassers on their territory.
Amos: Why do brown bears wear red-tinted contact lenses?
Moses: So they can hide in apple trees.
“When you see a bear wandering around in a town, remember that it is not the bear that is lost and confused; it is the town that is lost and confused, because the town, buildings and roads and people and all, has wandered into the middle of bear country.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Marcella: What do you get when you cross a bear with a kangaroo?
Annabella: A fur coat with pockets.
Bears are rapid runners, swift swimmers, and capable climbers. Bears can run up to 56 kilometers (35 miles) an hour for short distances, much faster than the average top speed of humans over short distances, which is slightly more than 32 kilometers (20 miles) an hour.
Sandy: Why do bears go barefoot?
Rocky: Because it is easier for them to sneak up on their food that way.
Two men were hiking in the woods. Suddenly, a bear started chasing them. They climbed a tree, but the bear started climbing up the tree after them. The first man took his sneakers out of his backpack and started putting them on. The second man said, “What are you doing?” The first man said, “I figure that when the bear gets too close, we will have to jump down and make a run for safety.” The second man said, “Are you crazy? You cannot outrun a bear!” The first man said, “I do not have to outrun the bear - I only have to outrun you!”
Bear cubs love to play, and playing teaches them bear survival skills, like how to climb trees, and how to hunt humans and other edible creatures.
Jason: What do you call a bear that has no teeth?
Jacob: A gummy bear!
Some types of bears spend all Winter long in a kind of sleep called ‘hibernation.’ They stay in their dens and do not eat or drink during this time. Other types of bears are not true hibernators, but do go into a deep sleep called torpor, from which they occasionally awaken to leave their dens and hunt for food. In either case, if you try to wake a bear, it will eat you, and then go back to sleep.
Bears have 42 teeth. You can verify this the next time you meet a bear by asking it to open its mouth so that you can look inside, and then the bear will eat you.
Bears Quiz
- What do bears eat?
- What is a bear’s home called?
- What are bears doing when they hibernate?
- What are some similarities between you and bears?
- What are some differences between you and bears?
- Do bears fly south for the Winter?
Do you agree that life without bears would be just un‘bear’able?
Blackie: What do you give to a blue bear?
Goldie: A trip to the circus to cheer her up!
Warning: Should you encounter a bear, do not try to tell it any of these jokes. Bears have no sense of humor, and to them, you look and smell and sound and move like food. Always remember, bears are big, powerful animals that want to eat you!
Algy
Algy met a bear,
The bear met Algy.
The bear was bulgy,
The bulge was Algy.
by Author Unknown
Bears are solitary animals. Only mother bears and their cubs live together. Father bears do not help to raise the cubs. In fact, father bears do not even recognize their own offspring, and will treat them as they would any other trespassers on their territory.
Amos: Why do brown bears wear red-tinted contact lenses?
Moses: So they can hide in apple trees.
“When you see a bear wandering around in a town, remember that it is not the bear that is lost and confused; it is the town that is lost and confused, because the town, buildings and roads and people and all, has wandered into the middle of bear country.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Marcella: What do you get when you cross a bear with a kangaroo?
Annabella: A fur coat with pockets.
Bears are rapid runners, swift swimmers, and capable climbers. Bears can run up to 56 kilometers (35 miles) an hour for short distances, much faster than the average top speed of humans over short distances, which is slightly more than 32 kilometers (20 miles) an hour.
Sandy: Why do bears go barefoot?
Rocky: Because it is easier for them to sneak up on their food that way.
Two men were hiking in the woods. Suddenly, a bear started chasing them. They climbed a tree, but the bear started climbing up the tree after them. The first man took his sneakers out of his backpack and started putting them on. The second man said, “What are you doing?” The first man said, “I figure that when the bear gets too close, we will have to jump down and make a run for safety.” The second man said, “Are you crazy? You cannot outrun a bear!” The first man said, “I do not have to outrun the bear - I only have to outrun you!”
Bear cubs love to play, and playing teaches them bear survival skills, like how to climb trees, and how to hunt humans and other edible creatures.
Jason: What do you call a bear that has no teeth?
Jacob: A gummy bear!
Some types of bears spend all Winter long in a kind of sleep called ‘hibernation.’ They stay in their dens and do not eat or drink during this time. Other types of bears are not true hibernators, but do go into a deep sleep called torpor, from which they occasionally awaken to leave their dens and hunt for food. In either case, if you try to wake a bear, it will eat you, and then go back to sleep.
Bears have 42 teeth. You can verify this the next time you meet a bear by asking it to open its mouth so that you can look inside, and then the bear will eat you.
Bears Quiz
- What do bears eat?
- What is a bear’s home called?
- What are bears doing when they hibernate?
- What are some similarities between you and bears?
- What are some differences between you and bears?
- Do bears fly south for the Winter?
Do you agree that life without bears would be just un‘bear’able?
Blackie: What do you give to a blue bear?
Goldie: A trip to the circus to cheer her up!
Warning: Should you encounter a bear, do not try to tell it any of these jokes. Bears have no sense of humor, and to them, you look and smell and sound and move like food. Always remember, bears are big, powerful animals that want to eat you!
We say, “Life is a zoo!” Do you think so, too? Shown is the ‘Big Cat Crossing’ at the Philadelphia Zoo in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States of America. It opened in 1876 as the very first zoo in the nation, and still attracts great numbers of curiosity seekers and wild animal enthusiasts. Website: http://www.PhiladelphiaZoo.org.
Harold: What is the most up-to-date animal at the zoo?
Harry: The gnu, of course!
First Monkey: What has an elephant’s trunk, a giraffe’s neck, an ostrich’s beak, and a lion’s head?
Second Monkey: A zoo!
Sign in a safari park: Visitors Who Throw Litter Into The Crocodile Pit Will Be Asked To Retrieve It.
“Look at that one - the one staring at us through the bars. Doesn’t he look intelligent?” “Yes. There’s something uncanny about it.” “He looks as if he understood every word we’re saying.” “Walks on his hind legs, too, and swings his arms.” “There! He’s got a peanut. Let’s see what he does with it.” “Well, what do you know about that! He knows enough to take off the shell before he eats it, like we do.” “That’s a female alongside of him. Listen to her chatter at him. He doesn’t seem to be paying much attention to her, though.” “She must be his mate.” “The look kind of sad, don’t they?” “Yes. I guess they wish they were in here with us monkeys.”
Emu
At the zoo I remarked to an emu
“I cannot pretend I esteem you.
You’re a greedy old bird,
And your walk is absurd,
But your curious feathers redeem you.”
by Author Unknown
“The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother’s keeper, or his keeper’s brother.” -Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo. A twenty-foot high fence was put up . . . and again he got out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, “How high do you think they’ll go?” The kangaroo said, “About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!”
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The Zoo
At the zoo we saw a bear
He had long, dark fuzzy hair
We saw a lion in a cage.
He was in an awful rage.
We saw the big, long-necked giraffe,
And the silly monkeys made us laugh
But my favorite animal at the zoo
Is the elephant - how about you?
by Author Unknown
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Zoo: A place where animals can safely study the behavior of humans.
“Rarely does it occur to people that the purpose of the bars, moats, and walls at zoos is to protect the animals from humans.” -Bergen Evans (Bergen Baldwin Evans (1904 - 1978)) (paraphrased)
Sign posted outside a zoo: Hunting Strictly Prohibited.
Harold: What is the most up-to-date animal at the zoo?
Harry: The gnu, of course!
First Monkey: What has an elephant’s trunk, a giraffe’s neck, an ostrich’s beak, and a lion’s head?
Second Monkey: A zoo!
Sign in a safari park: Visitors Who Throw Litter Into The Crocodile Pit Will Be Asked To Retrieve It.
“Look at that one - the one staring at us through the bars. Doesn’t he look intelligent?” “Yes. There’s something uncanny about it.” “He looks as if he understood every word we’re saying.” “Walks on his hind legs, too, and swings his arms.” “There! He’s got a peanut. Let’s see what he does with it.” “Well, what do you know about that! He knows enough to take off the shell before he eats it, like we do.” “That’s a female alongside of him. Listen to her chatter at him. He doesn’t seem to be paying much attention to her, though.” “She must be his mate.” “The look kind of sad, don’t they?” “Yes. I guess they wish they were in here with us monkeys.”
Emu
At the zoo I remarked to an emu
“I cannot pretend I esteem you.
You’re a greedy old bird,
And your walk is absurd,
But your curious feathers redeem you.”
by Author Unknown
“The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother’s keeper, or his keeper’s brother.” -Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo. A twenty-foot high fence was put up . . . and again he got out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, “How high do you think they’ll go?” The kangaroo said, “About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!”
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
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The Zoo
At the zoo we saw a bear
He had long, dark fuzzy hair
We saw a lion in a cage.
He was in an awful rage.
We saw the big, long-necked giraffe,
And the silly monkeys made us laugh
But my favorite animal at the zoo
Is the elephant - how about you?
by Author Unknown
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
Zoo: A place where animals can safely study the behavior of humans.
“Rarely does it occur to people that the purpose of the bars, moats, and walls at zoos is to protect the animals from humans.” -Bergen Evans (Bergen Baldwin Evans (1904 - 1978)) (paraphrased)
Sign posted outside a zoo: Hunting Strictly Prohibited.
Go away, goat . . . I’m trying to take a hippopotanap . . . zzz-zzz-zzz-zzz.
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The Spangled Pandemonium
The spangled pandemonium
Is missing from the zoo.
He bent the bars the barest bit,
And slithered glibly through.
He crawled across the moated wall,
He climbed the mango tree,
And when the keeper scrambled up,
He nipped him in the knee.
To all of you, a warning
Not to wander after dark,
Or if you must, make very sure
You stay out of the park.
For the spangled pandemonium
Is missing from the zoo,
And since he nipped his keeper,
He would just as soon nip you!
by Palmer Brown
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
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The zoo in Tokyo, Japan closes for two months of each year so that the animals can have a holiday from visitors.
A man needed a job. He heard that they were looking for help at the zoo, so he went there and applied for a job. On his first day at work, his boss handed a gorilla suit to him and said, “The gorilla is out sick today, so we’ll need you to fill in for him.” The fellow thought this was odd, but he really badly needed the job, so he said, “Sure,” put the gorilla suit on, went into the cage, and proceeded to monkey around. After a while, he got the hang of things and found it enjoyable, but while swinging on a tire, he lost his grip, went flying through the bars, and landed in the lion’s cage. He took one look at the huge fierce lion and thought to himself that the job was not all that important compared to his life, so he started yelling, “Help me, help me!” to the zoo visitors. Hearing his cries, the lion trotted over to him. Terrified, the man in the gorilla suit covered his face with his arms, when, startled, he heard the man in the lion suit whisper insistently, “Be quiet, or you will get us both fired!”
Dave: It is feeding time at the zoo.
Jim: Better hurry or you will be late for dinner!
Sign seen in a safari park: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car.
The San Diego Zoo in California, United States of America has the largest collection of animals in the world. You can watch live streaming video of elephants, penguins, koalas, tigers, pandas, apes, and polar bears on their website at www.Zoo.SanDiego.org.
Zoos and Wild Animal Parks Quiz
- What animals can be commonly found at zoos?
- What animals can be commonly found at wild animal parks?
- Do zoos have human exhibits along with the bear and tiger exhibits?
- What is a petting zoo?
- Why do zoos not have live dinosaurs?
- What is the proper way to behave toward zoo animals?
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The Zoo is Lots of Fun
One, one,
The zoo is lots of fun.
Two, two,
See a kangaroo.
Three, three,
See a chimpanzee.
Four, four,
Hear the lions roar.
Five, five,
Watch the seals dive.
Six, six,
There’s a monkey doing tricks.
Seven, seven,
Elephants eleven.
Eight, eight,
A tiger and his mate.
Nine, nine,
Penguins in a line.
Ten, ten,
I want to come again.
by Author Unknown
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
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Ken: Did I ever tell you about the time I came face-to-face with a tiger?
Dave: No - what happened?
Ken: I just stood there. The tiger crept closer . . . and closer . . .
Dave: Well, what did you do?
Ken: I just moved on to the next cage.
Listen . . . caw-caw! . . . haa-haa! . . . chatter-chatter! . . . whoo-whoo! . . . do you hear the zoo calling to you? Perhaps it is time for a visit . . . hope to see you there! Chirrup-chirrup! Eee-ahh! We’re like a bunch of wild animals here . . . at MFOL!
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
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The Spangled Pandemonium
The spangled pandemonium
Is missing from the zoo.
He bent the bars the barest bit,
And slithered glibly through.
He crawled across the moated wall,
He climbed the mango tree,
And when the keeper scrambled up,
He nipped him in the knee.
To all of you, a warning
Not to wander after dark,
Or if you must, make very sure
You stay out of the park.
For the spangled pandemonium
Is missing from the zoo,
And since he nipped his keeper,
He would just as soon nip you!
by Palmer Brown
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
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The zoo in Tokyo, Japan closes for two months of each year so that the animals can have a holiday from visitors.
A man needed a job. He heard that they were looking for help at the zoo, so he went there and applied for a job. On his first day at work, his boss handed a gorilla suit to him and said, “The gorilla is out sick today, so we’ll need you to fill in for him.” The fellow thought this was odd, but he really badly needed the job, so he said, “Sure,” put the gorilla suit on, went into the cage, and proceeded to monkey around. After a while, he got the hang of things and found it enjoyable, but while swinging on a tire, he lost his grip, went flying through the bars, and landed in the lion’s cage. He took one look at the huge fierce lion and thought to himself that the job was not all that important compared to his life, so he started yelling, “Help me, help me!” to the zoo visitors. Hearing his cries, the lion trotted over to him. Terrified, the man in the gorilla suit covered his face with his arms, when, startled, he heard the man in the lion suit whisper insistently, “Be quiet, or you will get us both fired!”
Dave: It is feeding time at the zoo.
Jim: Better hurry or you will be late for dinner!
Sign seen in a safari park: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car.
The San Diego Zoo in California, United States of America has the largest collection of animals in the world. You can watch live streaming video of elephants, penguins, koalas, tigers, pandas, apes, and polar bears on their website at www.Zoo.SanDiego.org.
Zoos and Wild Animal Parks Quiz
- What animals can be commonly found at zoos?
- What animals can be commonly found at wild animal parks?
- Do zoos have human exhibits along with the bear and tiger exhibits?
- What is a petting zoo?
- Why do zoos not have live dinosaurs?
- What is the proper way to behave toward zoo animals?
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
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The Zoo is Lots of Fun
One, one,
The zoo is lots of fun.
Two, two,
See a kangaroo.
Three, three,
See a chimpanzee.
Four, four,
Hear the lions roar.
Five, five,
Watch the seals dive.
Six, six,
There’s a monkey doing tricks.
Seven, seven,
Elephants eleven.
Eight, eight,
A tiger and his mate.
Nine, nine,
Penguins in a line.
Ten, ten,
I want to come again.
by Author Unknown
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
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Ken: Did I ever tell you about the time I came face-to-face with a tiger?
Dave: No - what happened?
Ken: I just stood there. The tiger crept closer . . . and closer . . .
Dave: Well, what did you do?
Ken: I just moved on to the next cage.
Listen . . . caw-caw! . . . haa-haa! . . . chatter-chatter! . . . whoo-whoo! . . . do you hear the zoo calling to you? Perhaps it is time for a visit . . . hope to see you there! Chirrup-chirrup! Eee-ahh! We’re like a bunch of wild animals here . . . at MFOL!
A family of ostriches out for a walk in the country . . . yes, life is good . . .
Some people do not take ostriches seriously, as if big birds are somehow a big joke, although these large birds run faster than horses, and male ostriches roar like lions.
The Ostrich Is a Silly Bird
The ostrich is a silly bird
With scarcely any mind.
He often runs so very fast
He leaves himself behind.
And when he gets there, has to stand
And hang about till night,
Without a blessed thing to do
Until he comes in sight.
by Mary E. Wilkins Freeman
Ostriches are unique looking animals with large, feather-covered bodies. They typically have long necks, small wings, large brown eyes, long beaks, and long skinny legs. Adult male ostriches have black feathers with some white on their undersides and tails. Adult female ostriches have light gray-brown feathers. Ostrich chicks have mottled brown and tan fluffy down, and will grow feathers as they mature into adult birds. Their coloration helps them blend in with their surroundings.
Some people do not take ostriches seriously, as if big birds are somehow a big joke, although these large birds run faster than horses, and male ostriches roar like lions.
The Ostrich Is a Silly Bird
The ostrich is a silly bird
With scarcely any mind.
He often runs so very fast
He leaves himself behind.
And when he gets there, has to stand
And hang about till night,
Without a blessed thing to do
Until he comes in sight.
by Mary E. Wilkins Freeman
Ostriches are unique looking animals with large, feather-covered bodies. They typically have long necks, small wings, large brown eyes, long beaks, and long skinny legs. Adult male ostriches have black feathers with some white on their undersides and tails. Adult female ostriches have light gray-brown feathers. Ostrich chicks have mottled brown and tan fluffy down, and will grow feathers as they mature into adult birds. Their coloration helps them blend in with their surroundings.
These ostriches are looking down on you because they are taller than you.
Ostriches are the largest, tallest, and heaviest birds presently living on Earth. They can grow to be up to 2.7 meters (9 feet) tall and can weigh up to 145 kilograms (320 pounds).
Ostrich Facts
- An adult male ostrich is called a cock or a rooster.
- An adult female ostrich is called a hen.
- A young ostrich is called a chick.
- A group of ostriches is called a flock or a troop.
- Ostriches are flightless birds.
- The sounds made by ostriches are called hisses, roars, booms, and grunts.
- Ostrich chicks make a low chirping sound up to about 2 months of age.
- Ostriches naturally live in the wild in Africa.
- Ostriches in the wild can live for up to 40 years.
- Ostriches in captivity can live for 30 to 70 years.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ostrich.
Ostrich, who?
Just an ostrich, that’s all!
Ostriches live in the woodlands and in the hot, dry savannas of sub-Saharan Africa, which is the part of Africa south of the Sahara desert. Ostriches are particularly well-adapted to the harsh conditions of the desert. In fact, their scientific name, ‘Struthio camelus,’ means ‘camel bird,’ a name given to them perhaps because ostriches can dwell in environments similar to what many camels live in.
In Australia, a number of farm-raised ostriches have escaped and now live in the wild, where they are thriving in conditions similar to their native Africa. These birds could be called feral animals, meaning domesticated animals and descendants of domesticated animals that are living in the wild.
Ostriches have been living on Earth for an estimated 70 to 120 million years. They survive because they are big, tough, smart, fast birds. They can run away from danger, but they also can kick with their legs and feet to protect themselves. Although they can only kick forward, they can kill animals and humans that they perceive as threats, usually with just a single swift kick. Ostriches also have dangerous long beaks to use as weapons. An additional survival strategy that ostriches use is to crouch close to the ground to blend in with their surroundings as a way to escape from danger.
Two women were being shown through the zoo, and their guide halted before the ostriches to explain, “Now this, ladies, is a very unusual bird. It can see very little and can digest practically anything.” “Goodness,” exclaimed one of the women. “Wouldn’t it make an ideal husband?”
Ostriches are omnivores, or animals that eat both plants and animals. They eat grass, leaves, flowers, roots, and other parts of plants. They also eat fruits, seeds, nuts, locusts and other insects, and small animals such as rodents, lizards, and snakes. To help them grind up and digest their food, ostriches eat sand and small pebbles. Ostriches obtain most of their water from the food they eat. They do drink water when they find it, but need to drink only every few days.
Ostriches’ eyes are nearly 5 centimeters (2 inches) wide, making them the largest eyes of any land animal. They have three sets of eyelids to protect them from flying sand and debris.
Ostriches have long necks that allow them to see predators from far away. The submariners’ expression, “Up, periscope!” might come to mind when we consider ostriches. They have long, thin necks atop which are two jumbo-sized eyes; using this periscope-type arrangement, they can extend their sight above much of the uneven terrain and low scrub brush, bushes, and other plants in their surroundings. They can then duck their ‘periscopes’ back down to remain less visible to any dangerous animals.
Floyd: Why does an ostrich have such a long neck?
Lloyd: Because its head is so far from its body.
You may have heard that ostrich brains are smaller than their eyes, and that is true. However, while ostrich brains are about the size of chicken eggs, it is not their brains that you would have to reckon with if you were to encounter a perturbed ostrich. Their large beaks and the sharp claws attached to their powerful legs are what you would need to be focused on. If you should ever find yourself around an agitated or mad ostrich, your best chance of survival may be to drop down onto your stomach and remain still until the ostrich becomes bored and moves on.
Next Thanksgiving, let’s have an ostrich instead of a turkey . . . oh, wait, first we will need an industrial-size oven!
Ostriches are raised on farms for feathers, meat, eggs, and leather. Ostrich feathers can be used to make feather dusters and articles of fashion-wear. Ostrich meat is the leanest of all red meats. Ostrich eggs can be cooked and eaten, and the thick eggshells can be made into decorative items. Ostrich leather can be used to make boots, jackets, hats, and handbags. The crisscrossing fibers within ostrich leather make it very durable.
Madeline: Why don’t ostriches fly?
Clementine: They can’t get past airline security.
Although ostriches cannot fly because they are heavy and have tiny wings, they are built for running, with long legs and strong leg muscles. Ostriches are the fastest runners of all bipedal (two-legged) animals on Earth, capable of moving at up to around 70 kilometers (43 miles) per hour. They can run more than twice as fast as humans. The swiftness of ostriches helps them survive in Africa, where hyenas, leopards, and lions are always on the prowl for prey to eat. The ostriches’ speed allows them to outdistance most predators, with the exception of cheetahs, which can run in short bursts of up to 121 kilometers (75 miles) per hour.
In ancient Egypt, ostriches pulled chariots, which are two-wheeled carts set low to the ground and made for speed, with usually just one or sometimes two riders. While it is possible for people to ride on the backs of ostriches using specially made saddles, the birds are difficult to steer. The tendency for them to be somewhat bird-brained makes ostrich races less common than other types of animal races, such as horse races, camel races, and dog races.
An annual Ostrich Festival is held at Tumbleweed Park in Chandler, Arizona, United States of America. The festival features amusement-park-type rides, foods and beverages, trained animal acts, ostrich races, costumed superheroes, and much more. For information, visit www.ostrichfestival.com.
Ostriches are the largest, tallest, and heaviest birds presently living on Earth. They can grow to be up to 2.7 meters (9 feet) tall and can weigh up to 145 kilograms (320 pounds).
Ostrich Facts
- An adult male ostrich is called a cock or a rooster.
- An adult female ostrich is called a hen.
- A young ostrich is called a chick.
- A group of ostriches is called a flock or a troop.
- Ostriches are flightless birds.
- The sounds made by ostriches are called hisses, roars, booms, and grunts.
- Ostrich chicks make a low chirping sound up to about 2 months of age.
- Ostriches naturally live in the wild in Africa.
- Ostriches in the wild can live for up to 40 years.
- Ostriches in captivity can live for 30 to 70 years.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ostrich.
Ostrich, who?
Just an ostrich, that’s all!
Ostriches live in the woodlands and in the hot, dry savannas of sub-Saharan Africa, which is the part of Africa south of the Sahara desert. Ostriches are particularly well-adapted to the harsh conditions of the desert. In fact, their scientific name, ‘Struthio camelus,’ means ‘camel bird,’ a name given to them perhaps because ostriches can dwell in environments similar to what many camels live in.
In Australia, a number of farm-raised ostriches have escaped and now live in the wild, where they are thriving in conditions similar to their native Africa. These birds could be called feral animals, meaning domesticated animals and descendants of domesticated animals that are living in the wild.
Ostriches have been living on Earth for an estimated 70 to 120 million years. They survive because they are big, tough, smart, fast birds. They can run away from danger, but they also can kick with their legs and feet to protect themselves. Although they can only kick forward, they can kill animals and humans that they perceive as threats, usually with just a single swift kick. Ostriches also have dangerous long beaks to use as weapons. An additional survival strategy that ostriches use is to crouch close to the ground to blend in with their surroundings as a way to escape from danger.
Two women were being shown through the zoo, and their guide halted before the ostriches to explain, “Now this, ladies, is a very unusual bird. It can see very little and can digest practically anything.” “Goodness,” exclaimed one of the women. “Wouldn’t it make an ideal husband?”
Ostriches are omnivores, or animals that eat both plants and animals. They eat grass, leaves, flowers, roots, and other parts of plants. They also eat fruits, seeds, nuts, locusts and other insects, and small animals such as rodents, lizards, and snakes. To help them grind up and digest their food, ostriches eat sand and small pebbles. Ostriches obtain most of their water from the food they eat. They do drink water when they find it, but need to drink only every few days.
Ostriches’ eyes are nearly 5 centimeters (2 inches) wide, making them the largest eyes of any land animal. They have three sets of eyelids to protect them from flying sand and debris.
Ostriches have long necks that allow them to see predators from far away. The submariners’ expression, “Up, periscope!” might come to mind when we consider ostriches. They have long, thin necks atop which are two jumbo-sized eyes; using this periscope-type arrangement, they can extend their sight above much of the uneven terrain and low scrub brush, bushes, and other plants in their surroundings. They can then duck their ‘periscopes’ back down to remain less visible to any dangerous animals.
Floyd: Why does an ostrich have such a long neck?
Lloyd: Because its head is so far from its body.
You may have heard that ostrich brains are smaller than their eyes, and that is true. However, while ostrich brains are about the size of chicken eggs, it is not their brains that you would have to reckon with if you were to encounter a perturbed ostrich. Their large beaks and the sharp claws attached to their powerful legs are what you would need to be focused on. If you should ever find yourself around an agitated or mad ostrich, your best chance of survival may be to drop down onto your stomach and remain still until the ostrich becomes bored and moves on.
Next Thanksgiving, let’s have an ostrich instead of a turkey . . . oh, wait, first we will need an industrial-size oven!
Ostriches are raised on farms for feathers, meat, eggs, and leather. Ostrich feathers can be used to make feather dusters and articles of fashion-wear. Ostrich meat is the leanest of all red meats. Ostrich eggs can be cooked and eaten, and the thick eggshells can be made into decorative items. Ostrich leather can be used to make boots, jackets, hats, and handbags. The crisscrossing fibers within ostrich leather make it very durable.
Madeline: Why don’t ostriches fly?
Clementine: They can’t get past airline security.
Although ostriches cannot fly because they are heavy and have tiny wings, they are built for running, with long legs and strong leg muscles. Ostriches are the fastest runners of all bipedal (two-legged) animals on Earth, capable of moving at up to around 70 kilometers (43 miles) per hour. They can run more than twice as fast as humans. The swiftness of ostriches helps them survive in Africa, where hyenas, leopards, and lions are always on the prowl for prey to eat. The ostriches’ speed allows them to outdistance most predators, with the exception of cheetahs, which can run in short bursts of up to 121 kilometers (75 miles) per hour.
In ancient Egypt, ostriches pulled chariots, which are two-wheeled carts set low to the ground and made for speed, with usually just one or sometimes two riders. While it is possible for people to ride on the backs of ostriches using specially made saddles, the birds are difficult to steer. The tendency for them to be somewhat bird-brained makes ostrich races less common than other types of animal races, such as horse races, camel races, and dog races.
An annual Ostrich Festival is held at Tumbleweed Park in Chandler, Arizona, United States of America. The festival features amusement-park-type rides, foods and beverages, trained animal acts, ostrich races, costumed superheroes, and much more. For information, visit www.ostrichfestival.com.
This is how life on the Planet of the Ostriches looks.
Ostriches lay the largest bird’s eggs in the world; their oblong eggs are up to 11 centimeters (4.33 inches) long by 18 centimeters (7 inches) in width and weigh 1.3 kilograms (3 pounds). One ostrich egg is equivalent in volume to two dozen chicken eggs.
An ostrich egg takes 90 minutes to become hard-boiled because of its size and the thickness of its shell. Ostrich eggs can be used to make deviled eggs and scrambled eggs, and used in cooking just like chicken eggs. Be sure to adjust your recipes based on their humongous size.
Ostriches have only two toes on each foot, while all other birds have three or four toes. Ostriches often have one claw growing on each foot, on only the inner of the two toes, with their outer toes often being clawless, not unlike the way some humans have almost no toenails on their smallest toes. The claws can be about 7 centimeters (2.76 inches) in length, and are used as cutting and tearing weapons, or to scratch out shallow nests in the ground.
Ozzie: Why did the ostriches walk to the watering hole?
Rich: Because they cannot fly.
Ostriches are social birds that live in nomadic (wandering) groups of typically 5 to 50 members. During the dry season, when rain is less frequent or absent entirely, ostriches gather in large flocks in the vicinity of watering holes. During the rainy season, the large flocks of ostriches break down into smaller flocks, each having one dominant male and about 2 to 5 female ostriches.
‘Ostrich’ can be pronounced as ôs'trĭch, ŏs'trĭch, ôs'trĭj, or ŏs'trĭj. If you know of any other ways it can be pronounced, please let us know.
No one has ever asked ostriches why they stick their heads in the sand, or if this is even true. Possible reasons they might do so include searching for water, trying to find lost contact lenses, or looking for buried pirate treasure. Others claim that ostriches do not bury their heads in the sand at all - it only appears so because when they cannot run from danger, they flop to the ground and lay still, and the color of their heads blends in with the sand.
Baby Ostrich: Mama, do ostriches really bury their heads in the sand when they are scared?
Mama Ostrich: Of course not, dear. That is just an old myth.
Baby Ostrich: Then why do I have dirt in my ears?
Ostriches Quiz
- Are you an ostrich?
- If you were an ostrich, where would you most likely be right now?
- Do ostriches build nests in trees the way many other types of birds do?
- How do ostriches deal with predators, or animals that want to eat them?
- Is your neighborhood zoned for ostriches, if you wanted to start an ostrich ranch?
- By volume, how many chicken eggs are equivalent to one ostrich egg?
“Ostrich, noun: A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe in which so many pious naturalists have seen a conspicuous evidence of design. The absence of a good working pair of wings is no defect, for, as has been ingeniously pointed out, the ostrich does not fly.” -Ambrose Bierce
Ostriches are tall birds, but this topic is a little short on ostrich fun stuff. We will add more to it in the future. Thanks for visiting MFOL! and have a very funny day!
Ostriches lay the largest bird’s eggs in the world; their oblong eggs are up to 11 centimeters (4.33 inches) long by 18 centimeters (7 inches) in width and weigh 1.3 kilograms (3 pounds). One ostrich egg is equivalent in volume to two dozen chicken eggs.
An ostrich egg takes 90 minutes to become hard-boiled because of its size and the thickness of its shell. Ostrich eggs can be used to make deviled eggs and scrambled eggs, and used in cooking just like chicken eggs. Be sure to adjust your recipes based on their humongous size.
Ostriches have only two toes on each foot, while all other birds have three or four toes. Ostriches often have one claw growing on each foot, on only the inner of the two toes, with their outer toes often being clawless, not unlike the way some humans have almost no toenails on their smallest toes. The claws can be about 7 centimeters (2.76 inches) in length, and are used as cutting and tearing weapons, or to scratch out shallow nests in the ground.
Ozzie: Why did the ostriches walk to the watering hole?
Rich: Because they cannot fly.
Ostriches are social birds that live in nomadic (wandering) groups of typically 5 to 50 members. During the dry season, when rain is less frequent or absent entirely, ostriches gather in large flocks in the vicinity of watering holes. During the rainy season, the large flocks of ostriches break down into smaller flocks, each having one dominant male and about 2 to 5 female ostriches.
‘Ostrich’ can be pronounced as ôs'trĭch, ŏs'trĭch, ôs'trĭj, or ŏs'trĭj. If you know of any other ways it can be pronounced, please let us know.
No one has ever asked ostriches why they stick their heads in the sand, or if this is even true. Possible reasons they might do so include searching for water, trying to find lost contact lenses, or looking for buried pirate treasure. Others claim that ostriches do not bury their heads in the sand at all - it only appears so because when they cannot run from danger, they flop to the ground and lay still, and the color of their heads blends in with the sand.
Baby Ostrich: Mama, do ostriches really bury their heads in the sand when they are scared?
Mama Ostrich: Of course not, dear. That is just an old myth.
Baby Ostrich: Then why do I have dirt in my ears?
Ostriches Quiz
- Are you an ostrich?
- If you were an ostrich, where would you most likely be right now?
- Do ostriches build nests in trees the way many other types of birds do?
- How do ostriches deal with predators, or animals that want to eat them?
- Is your neighborhood zoned for ostriches, if you wanted to start an ostrich ranch?
- By volume, how many chicken eggs are equivalent to one ostrich egg?
“Ostrich, noun: A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe in which so many pious naturalists have seen a conspicuous evidence of design. The absence of a good working pair of wings is no defect, for, as has been ingeniously pointed out, the ostrich does not fly.” -Ambrose Bierce
Ostriches are tall birds, but this topic is a little short on ostrich fun stuff. We will add more to it in the future. Thanks for visiting MFOL! and have a very funny day!
Look, it’s Bigfoot, the wild man of the forest . . . oh, wait, it’s just a porcupine . . .
Perry: What is part pig and part tree?
Jerry: A porky-pine!
Friendship
There once were two back-country geezers
Who got porcupine quills in their sneezers.
The sat beak to beak
For more than a week
Working over each other with tweezers.
by John Ciardi (John Anthony Ciardi (1916 - 1986))
Polly: What do you get when you cross a cat with a porcupine?
Holly: An animal that says, “Meowch!” when it licks it fur.
Porcupine Facts
- An adult male porcupine is called a boar.
- An adult female porcupine is called a sow.
- A young porcupine is called a pup or a porcupette.
- The plural of porcupine is porcupines.
- A group of porcupines is called a family, or imaginatively, a prickle.
- The sounds made by porcupines are called screeches, whines, and grunts.
- Porcupines are mostly nocturnal, or active at night.
- Porcupines are primarily herbivores, or animals that eat plants.
- Porcupines in the wild can live for about 5 to 7 years.
- Porcupines in captivity can live for up to 20 years.
Priscilla: What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a balloon?
Paula: Pop!
Perry: What is part pig and part tree?
Jerry: A porky-pine!
Friendship
There once were two back-country geezers
Who got porcupine quills in their sneezers.
The sat beak to beak
For more than a week
Working over each other with tweezers.
by John Ciardi (John Anthony Ciardi (1916 - 1986))
Polly: What do you get when you cross a cat with a porcupine?
Holly: An animal that says, “Meowch!” when it licks it fur.
Porcupine Facts
- An adult male porcupine is called a boar.
- An adult female porcupine is called a sow.
- A young porcupine is called a pup or a porcupette.
- The plural of porcupine is porcupines.
- A group of porcupines is called a family, or imaginatively, a prickle.
- The sounds made by porcupines are called screeches, whines, and grunts.
- Porcupines are mostly nocturnal, or active at night.
- Porcupines are primarily herbivores, or animals that eat plants.
- Porcupines in the wild can live for about 5 to 7 years.
- Porcupines in captivity can live for up to 20 years.
Priscilla: What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a balloon?
Paula: Pop!
Be sure to always eat lots of green leafy vegetables so your porcupine quills will grow to be long and strong and sharp and pointy . . .
What do porcupines eat? Porcupines are regarded as being primarily herbivores, or animals that eat plants. They like leaves, including grass, evergreen needles, and clover. They also eat bark, stems, twigs, roots, flowers, nuts, seeds, berries and other fruit, and aquatic, or water, plants. However, porcupines will also eat insects, small reptiles, and bird eggs, though less often. They are particularly partial to salt. Basically, if something somewhere can be gnawed on, there is a porcupine trying to get to it.
Porcupine Picnics
When porcupines get
together for picnics,
Nobody has
to bring any toothpicks.
by Arden Davidson
Megan: What did the nearsighted porcupine say to the cactus?
Melvin: “Is that you, Patricia?”
Porcupines vary in color, from brown, to gray, to black, to yellow, with some of the rarer porcupine species found in white. They have small rounded ears, small dark eyes, blunt snouts, small mouths, teeth that constantly grow, short legs, four-fingered front paws with long curved claws, five-fingered back paws with long curved claws, short tails, and long barbed quills. Porcupines vary in size, from tiny 1-kilogram porcupines found in South America, to enormous 10-kilogram porcupines found in Africa.
The Porcupine
Any hound a porcupine nudges
Can’t be blamed for harboring grudges.
I know one hound that laughed all winter
At a porcupine that sat on a splinter.
by Ogden Nash
The English word ‘porcupine’ was derived from the Middle French ‘porc d’espine’ meaning ‘spiny pig’ or ‘thorny pig.’ Middle French ‘porc d’espine’ was itself derived from the Latin words ‘porcus’ meaning ‘pig’ and ‘spina’ meaning ‘spine’ or ‘thorn.’ The Middle French ‘porc d’espine’ was adopted into Middle English as variants such as ‘porcupyne’ and ‘porcapyne.’ Over time, these variants became the standardized Modern English word ‘porcupine.’ A fun though somewhat archaic English word for porcupine is ‘quill-pig.’ Although the word ‘pig’ can be found in the original names for them, porcupines are rodents, and not related to pigs.
The Porcupine
A porcupine looks somewhat silly.
He also is extremely quilly.
And if he shoots a quill at you,
Run fast -
Or you’ll be quilly, too.
I would not want a porcupine
To be my loving valentine.
by Karla Kuskin (1932 - 2009)
Jacque: How do you pet a porcupine?
Jacqueline: Very, very carefully!
What do porcupines eat? Porcupines are regarded as being primarily herbivores, or animals that eat plants. They like leaves, including grass, evergreen needles, and clover. They also eat bark, stems, twigs, roots, flowers, nuts, seeds, berries and other fruit, and aquatic, or water, plants. However, porcupines will also eat insects, small reptiles, and bird eggs, though less often. They are particularly partial to salt. Basically, if something somewhere can be gnawed on, there is a porcupine trying to get to it.
Porcupine Picnics
When porcupines get
together for picnics,
Nobody has
to bring any toothpicks.
by Arden Davidson
Megan: What did the nearsighted porcupine say to the cactus?
Melvin: “Is that you, Patricia?”
Porcupines vary in color, from brown, to gray, to black, to yellow, with some of the rarer porcupine species found in white. They have small rounded ears, small dark eyes, blunt snouts, small mouths, teeth that constantly grow, short legs, four-fingered front paws with long curved claws, five-fingered back paws with long curved claws, short tails, and long barbed quills. Porcupines vary in size, from tiny 1-kilogram porcupines found in South America, to enormous 10-kilogram porcupines found in Africa.
The Porcupine
Any hound a porcupine nudges
Can’t be blamed for harboring grudges.
I know one hound that laughed all winter
At a porcupine that sat on a splinter.
by Ogden Nash
The English word ‘porcupine’ was derived from the Middle French ‘porc d’espine’ meaning ‘spiny pig’ or ‘thorny pig.’ Middle French ‘porc d’espine’ was itself derived from the Latin words ‘porcus’ meaning ‘pig’ and ‘spina’ meaning ‘spine’ or ‘thorn.’ The Middle French ‘porc d’espine’ was adopted into Middle English as variants such as ‘porcupyne’ and ‘porcapyne.’ Over time, these variants became the standardized Modern English word ‘porcupine.’ A fun though somewhat archaic English word for porcupine is ‘quill-pig.’ Although the word ‘pig’ can be found in the original names for them, porcupines are rodents, and not related to pigs.
The Porcupine
A porcupine looks somewhat silly.
He also is extremely quilly.
And if he shoots a quill at you,
Run fast -
Or you’ll be quilly, too.
I would not want a porcupine
To be my loving valentine.
by Karla Kuskin (1932 - 2009)
Jacque: How do you pet a porcupine?
Jacqueline: Very, very carefully!
Porcupines have soft hair over most of their bodies, but it is best not to try to pet them, because their soft hair is intermixed with modified hairs called quills, or spikes. These are sharp, needle-like growths, located on the backs and sides and tails. An average adult porcupine has approximately 30,000 quills, which grow out and are replaced with new ones each year. The quills are about 7 centimeters (about 2.75 inches) long. While porcupines cannot ‘shoot’ their quills, they do detach quite easily from the animals, become imbedded in the skin, and become difficult to remove. The quills can be extremely painful to people, pets, livestock, and other animals that are pricked by them. Porcupine quills are not venomous, poisonous, or toxic, but they are likely to be covered with millions of microbes that can cause infections when the quills scratch or pierce the skin. The infections can sicken and even kill people and animals. Following any contact with a porcupine, go immediately to a doctor, and take your pet or any other animal to a veterinarian, for medical attention.
Pearl: What do porcupines say when they kiss?
Paul: “Ouch!”
The two main types of porcupines are Old World porcupines and New World porcupines. Old World porcupines inhabit the forests and jungles of Asia, Europe, and parts of Africa.
A very sad, very short love story: A nearsighted porcupine fell in love with a pincushion.
Old World porcupines live in Southern Europe, Asia, and Africa. Old world porcupines may not be good climbers, but they are excellent swimmers.
Porcupines are excellent swimmers because their hollow air-filled quills make it easy for them to stay afloat in water. Just remember what your mother told you, though: “Never go swimming with sharks, alligators, or porcupines.”
Pearl: What do porcupines say when they kiss?
Paul: “Ouch!”
The two main types of porcupines are Old World porcupines and New World porcupines. Old World porcupines inhabit the forests and jungles of Asia, Europe, and parts of Africa.
A very sad, very short love story: A nearsighted porcupine fell in love with a pincushion.
Old World porcupines live in Southern Europe, Asia, and Africa. Old world porcupines may not be good climbers, but they are excellent swimmers.
Porcupines are excellent swimmers because their hollow air-filled quills make it easy for them to stay afloat in water. Just remember what your mother told you, though: “Never go swimming with sharks, alligators, or porcupines.”
New World porcupines are indigenous, or native, to both North America and South America, where they live in forests, deserts, and grasslands. New World porcupines are good climbers and spend much of their time in trees. Some even have prehensile (gripping) tails to aid in climbing. Those with specialized tails are capable of clinging to trees with their tails and catching surrounding branches if they lose their balance or start to fall. This may be the reason why we so seldom hear anyone shout, “Watch out, it’s raining porcupines!”
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Cag the Porcupine
Cag the porcupine poked out his nose.
He lived in the wild where the Alagash flows.
His hair wasn’t curly, his temper was surly.
He’d risen too early which heightened his woes.
Cag the porcupine lumbered along,
There wasn’t a thing in the woods but was wrong.
The world as created was much overrated
And, oh, how he hated that chickadee’s song.
Cag the porcupine lurched on his way.
The fox and the wolverine wished him, “Good day.”
But Cag only mumbled and onward he stumbled,
“Some people,” he grumbled, “have too much to say.”
Cag the porcupine grumped to the hills,
“These sociable folks are the worst of my ills.
I wish I were prickly and stickly,” and quickly
He found himself thickly provided with quills.
Cag the porcupine nibbles a cone,
The thistli-est, bristli-est, quadruped known,
And nobody pets him and nobody frets him
And everyone lets him strictly alone.
by Author Unknown
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Why are porcupines seldom seen? Porcupines are nocturnal animals, meaning they are actively primarily at night. During daylight hours, they rest in places such as trees, hollow logs, and crevices in rocks.
Predators of porcupines, or animals that hunt and eat them, include black martens, bobcats, cougars, coyotes, eagles, fishers, humans, owls, and wolves.
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The Porcupine
Rebecca Jane,
a friend of mine,
went out to pat
a porcupine.
She very shortly
came back in,
disgusted with
the porcupin.
“One never, ever
should,” said Jane,
“go out and pat
a porcupain!”
by N. M. Bodecker (Niels Mogens Bodecker (1922 - 1988))
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Now you can tell all your friends that you know all about porcupines . . . because you have seen it all . . . on MFOL!
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Cag the Porcupine
Cag the porcupine poked out his nose.
He lived in the wild where the Alagash flows.
His hair wasn’t curly, his temper was surly.
He’d risen too early which heightened his woes.
Cag the porcupine lumbered along,
There wasn’t a thing in the woods but was wrong.
The world as created was much overrated
And, oh, how he hated that chickadee’s song.
Cag the porcupine lurched on his way.
The fox and the wolverine wished him, “Good day.”
But Cag only mumbled and onward he stumbled,
“Some people,” he grumbled, “have too much to say.”
Cag the porcupine grumped to the hills,
“These sociable folks are the worst of my ills.
I wish I were prickly and stickly,” and quickly
He found himself thickly provided with quills.
Cag the porcupine nibbles a cone,
The thistli-est, bristli-est, quadruped known,
And nobody pets him and nobody frets him
And everyone lets him strictly alone.
by Author Unknown
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Why are porcupines seldom seen? Porcupines are nocturnal animals, meaning they are actively primarily at night. During daylight hours, they rest in places such as trees, hollow logs, and crevices in rocks.
Predators of porcupines, or animals that hunt and eat them, include black martens, bobcats, cougars, coyotes, eagles, fishers, humans, owls, and wolves.
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The Porcupine
Rebecca Jane,
a friend of mine,
went out to pat
a porcupine.
She very shortly
came back in,
disgusted with
the porcupin.
“One never, ever
should,” said Jane,
“go out and pat
a porcupain!”
by N. M. Bodecker (Niels Mogens Bodecker (1922 - 1988))
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Now you can tell all your friends that you know all about porcupines . . . because you have seen it all . . . on MFOL!
Dogs and Weather
I’d like a different dog
For every kind of weather -
A narrow greyhound for a fog,
A wolfhound strange and white,
With a tail like a silver feather
To run with in the night,
When snow is still,
And winter stars are bright.
In the fall I’d like to see
In answer to my whistle,
A golden spaniel look at me.
But best of all for rain
A terrier, hairy as a thistle,
To trot with fine disdain
Beside me down the soaked,
Sweet-smelling lane.
by Winifred Welles
Winifred Welles Shearer was born on 26 January 1893 in New London County, Connecticut, United States of America. She was married to Harold Hutchinson Shearer. She became an editor, a novelist, and a poet. Winifred Welles Shearer passed on at 46 years of age on 22 November 1939 in Connecticut, United States of America.
I’d like a different dog
For every kind of weather -
A narrow greyhound for a fog,
A wolfhound strange and white,
With a tail like a silver feather
To run with in the night,
When snow is still,
And winter stars are bright.
In the fall I’d like to see
In answer to my whistle,
A golden spaniel look at me.
But best of all for rain
A terrier, hairy as a thistle,
To trot with fine disdain
Beside me down the soaked,
Sweet-smelling lane.
by Winifred Welles
Winifred Welles Shearer was born on 26 January 1893 in New London County, Connecticut, United States of America. She was married to Harold Hutchinson Shearer. She became an editor, a novelist, and a poet. Winifred Welles Shearer passed on at 46 years of age on 22 November 1939 in Connecticut, United States of America.
Woodland Animals Quiz
Can you name the woodland animals shown as silhouettes above?
Woodlands are areas that have trees, but trees that are fewer in number and further apart than in tree-dense forests and woods. The open spaces between the trees in woodland areas allows more sunlight to get through to plants growing on the ground, such as grasses, shrubs, and green, leafy plants. The greater diversity of plants found in woodlands creates a habitat for a wide variety of woodland animals.
Clockwise from the top left corner, the woodland animals shown in silhouette are a bear, a fox, a hedgehog, a squirrel, a wolf, a bear cub, an owl, a rabbit, a deer, and a butterfly.
by David Hugh Beaumont
This is MFOL! . . . now turn off your computer and go on a nature walk . . .
Can you name the woodland animals shown as silhouettes above?
Woodlands are areas that have trees, but trees that are fewer in number and further apart than in tree-dense forests and woods. The open spaces between the trees in woodland areas allows more sunlight to get through to plants growing on the ground, such as grasses, shrubs, and green, leafy plants. The greater diversity of plants found in woodlands creates a habitat for a wide variety of woodland animals.
Clockwise from the top left corner, the woodland animals shown in silhouette are a bear, a fox, a hedgehog, a squirrel, a wolf, a bear cub, an owl, a rabbit, a deer, and a butterfly.
by David Hugh Beaumont
This is MFOL! . . . now turn off your computer and go on a nature walk . . .
A Puppy’s Problem
When Midget was a puppy
And to the farm was brought,
She found that there were many things
A puppy must be taught.
Her mother oft had told her
The first thing to be known
Was how to gnaw and bite, and thus
Enjoy a toothsome bone.
So Midget practiced biting
On everything around,
But that was not approved at all,
To her surprise, she found.
The farmer spoke severely,
Till Midget shook with fright;
The children shouted, “No, no, no!
Bad Midget! Mustn’t bite!”
’Twas just the same with barking;
At first they all said “Hark!”
Whenever Midget tried her voice;
“Good puppy! That’s it! Bark!”
But then, as soon as Midget
Could sound a sharp “Bow-wow!”
Alas! the talk was changed to “Hush!
Such noise we can’t allow!”
Now wasn’t that a puzzle?
It seemed a problem dark
That it was right and wrong to bite
And right and wrong to bark.
A puppy’s hardest lesson
Is when to bark and bite;
But Midget learned it, and became
A comfort and delight.
by Emilie Poulsson
Anne Emilie Poulsson was born on 8 September 1853 in Cedar Grove, New Jersey, United States of America. She became a teacher for the blind at the Perkins School, a writer, a poet, and a translator of written works from Norwegian into English. Anne Emilie Poulsson passed on at 85 years of age on 18 March 1939.
When Midget was a puppy
And to the farm was brought,
She found that there were many things
A puppy must be taught.
Her mother oft had told her
The first thing to be known
Was how to gnaw and bite, and thus
Enjoy a toothsome bone.
So Midget practiced biting
On everything around,
But that was not approved at all,
To her surprise, she found.
The farmer spoke severely,
Till Midget shook with fright;
The children shouted, “No, no, no!
Bad Midget! Mustn’t bite!”
’Twas just the same with barking;
At first they all said “Hark!”
Whenever Midget tried her voice;
“Good puppy! That’s it! Bark!”
But then, as soon as Midget
Could sound a sharp “Bow-wow!”
Alas! the talk was changed to “Hush!
Such noise we can’t allow!”
Now wasn’t that a puzzle?
It seemed a problem dark
That it was right and wrong to bite
And right and wrong to bark.
A puppy’s hardest lesson
Is when to bark and bite;
But Midget learned it, and became
A comfort and delight.
by Emilie Poulsson
Anne Emilie Poulsson was born on 8 September 1853 in Cedar Grove, New Jersey, United States of America. She became a teacher for the blind at the Perkins School, a writer, a poet, and a translator of written works from Norwegian into English. Anne Emilie Poulsson passed on at 85 years of age on 18 March 1939.
