Counting Hippopotamuses
I am a hippopotamus -
And should there be
More than one of us,
We are hippopotamuses,
Though we are hippopotami
Should a grammarian stop by!
One hippopotamus,
Two hippopotamuses,
Any more of us is just a lot of us
Hippopotamuses!
Biologists call a crowd of us
A school, a herd, or a pod of us.
I am a hippopotamus,
We are hippopotamuses
And now our song is through,
As you see, we’re turning blue
Because we have been
Singing . . . without . . . breathing!
by David Hugh Beaumont
David Hugh Beaumont was born in 1966 in the United States of America. He is a website content creator, a writer, a researcher, and an editor.
I am a hippopotamus -
And should there be
More than one of us,
We are hippopotamuses,
Though we are hippopotami
Should a grammarian stop by!
One hippopotamus,
Two hippopotamuses,
Any more of us is just a lot of us
Hippopotamuses!
Biologists call a crowd of us
A school, a herd, or a pod of us.
I am a hippopotamus,
We are hippopotamuses
And now our song is through,
As you see, we’re turning blue
Because we have been
Singing . . . without . . . breathing!
by David Hugh Beaumont
David Hugh Beaumont was born in 1966 in the United States of America. He is a website content creator, a writer, a researcher, and an editor.
Bear
I met a bear
That was barely there;
It really gave me
Quite a scare!
The barely bear
Was drawn and taut
From having eaten
But naught.
My concern was because
That gaunt bear
Was a hungry bear
So I skedaddled out of there!
by David Hugh Beaumont
David Hugh Beaumont was born in 1966 in the United States of America. He is a website content creator, a writer, a researcher, and an editor.
I met a bear
That was barely there;
It really gave me
Quite a scare!
The barely bear
Was drawn and taut
From having eaten
But naught.
My concern was because
That gaunt bear
Was a hungry bear
So I skedaddled out of there!
by David Hugh Beaumont
David Hugh Beaumont was born in 1966 in the United States of America. He is a website content creator, a writer, a researcher, and an editor.
Talking Clock
“Tick-tock!” said the clock,
For clocks can talk, you know.
What is the clock saying to you?
“Time to get up!”
“Time to go to work!”
“Time to go to school!”
“Time to set goals and make plans!”
“Time to make a dream come true!”
by David Hugh Beaumont
David Hugh Beaumont was born in 1966 in the United States of America. He is a website content creator, a writer, a researcher, and an editor.
“Tick-tock!” said the clock,
For clocks can talk, you know.
What is the clock saying to you?
“Time to get up!”
“Time to go to work!”
“Time to go to school!”
“Time to set goals and make plans!”
“Time to make a dream come true!”
by David Hugh Beaumont
David Hugh Beaumont was born in 1966 in the United States of America. He is a website content creator, a writer, a researcher, and an editor.
Phony Phone
I have a phony phone,
It doesn’t even work.
I carry it around
And pretend to converse.
I want people
To think I’m important,
That I have important friends,
So I got this phony phone.
I talk very loudly,
And with really big words,
On this phony phone
That doesn’t even work.
If bystanders ever listened
They’d figure out real quick
My speaking cadence never matches
A real human conversation.
by David Hugh Beaumont: “That Doesn’t Even Rhyme”
David Hugh Beaumont was born in 1966 in the United States of America. He is a website content creator, a writer, a researcher, and an editor whose poetry lacks rhyme, rhythm, and reason.
I have a phony phone,
It doesn’t even work.
I carry it around
And pretend to converse.
I want people
To think I’m important,
That I have important friends,
So I got this phony phone.
I talk very loudly,
And with really big words,
On this phony phone
That doesn’t even work.
If bystanders ever listened
They’d figure out real quick
My speaking cadence never matches
A real human conversation.
by David Hugh Beaumont: “That Doesn’t Even Rhyme”
David Hugh Beaumont was born in 1966 in the United States of America. He is a website content creator, a writer, a researcher, and an editor whose poetry lacks rhyme, rhythm, and reason.
No Kite
I am not quite a kite -
All my flights of fancy
Are tethered here below . . .
My feet upon the ground,
My ears upon the sound
Of whistling winds . . .
Yet still with my eyes
I do search the skies
For kites . . .
by David Hugh Beaumont
David Hugh Beaumont was born in 1966 in the United States of America. He is a website content creator, a writer, a researcher, and an editor.
I am not quite a kite -
All my flights of fancy
Are tethered here below . . .
My feet upon the ground,
My ears upon the sound
Of whistling winds . . .
Yet still with my eyes
I do search the skies
For kites . . .
by David Hugh Beaumont
David Hugh Beaumont was born in 1966 in the United States of America. He is a website content creator, a writer, a researcher, and an editor.
I Met an Ogre
I met an ogre while walking on the way
Around the island where I was a castaway.
He was bathing in the bay;
I was silent, knowing not what to say.
“I am you and you are me,
This you should clearly see -
’Twould waste your effort to disagree!”
Said the ogre as he gobbled up me.
“This is not right you know -
Spit me out and let me go,
I’ll cause you a tummy-ache -
So let me go for your own sake!”
Then I thought up a plan
To get myself out of this jam.
I tickled the ogre’s inside
Until he was himself beside.
Giggling, laughing, chuckling, snorting
He said, “Stop, please - stop!
I’ll let you out if you’ll behave,”
And he coughed me up like a giant hairball.
From that day forward to keep myself
On the outside of the ogre and not inside
All I have to do is - you guessed right -
Tell a joke to that ogre bloke!
by David Hugh Beaumont
David Hugh Beaumont was born in 1966 in the United States of America. He is a website content creator, a writer, a researcher, and an editor.
I met an ogre while walking on the way
Around the island where I was a castaway.
He was bathing in the bay;
I was silent, knowing not what to say.
“I am you and you are me,
This you should clearly see -
’Twould waste your effort to disagree!”
Said the ogre as he gobbled up me.
“This is not right you know -
Spit me out and let me go,
I’ll cause you a tummy-ache -
So let me go for your own sake!”
Then I thought up a plan
To get myself out of this jam.
I tickled the ogre’s inside
Until he was himself beside.
Giggling, laughing, chuckling, snorting
He said, “Stop, please - stop!
I’ll let you out if you’ll behave,”
And he coughed me up like a giant hairball.
From that day forward to keep myself
On the outside of the ogre and not inside
All I have to do is - you guessed right -
Tell a joke to that ogre bloke!
by David Hugh Beaumont
David Hugh Beaumont was born in 1966 in the United States of America. He is a website content creator, a writer, a researcher, and an editor.
I Am the Whirlwind
I am a flurry of activity.
I am busy as a bee.
I am industrious as a beaver.
I am up before sunrise.
I am always on the move.
I can’t slow myself,
For fear I might lose my balance
And be taken down by gravity.
by David Hugh Beaumont
David Hugh Beaumont was born in 1966 in the United States of America. He is a website content creator, a writer, a researcher, and an editor.
I am a flurry of activity.
I am busy as a bee.
I am industrious as a beaver.
I am up before sunrise.
I am always on the move.
I can’t slow myself,
For fear I might lose my balance
And be taken down by gravity.
by David Hugh Beaumont
David Hugh Beaumont was born in 1966 in the United States of America. He is a website content creator, a writer, a researcher, and an editor.
My Pet Rock
My pet rock cannot walk or talk,
If it ever did eat or drink -
That would be quite a shock.
Most days it doesn’t even think.
What would a pet rock say,
If a pet rock could talk?
What would a pet rock think,
If a pet rock had thoughts?
by David Hugh Beaumont
David Hugh Beaumont was born in 1966 in the United States of America. He is a website content creator, a writer, a researcher, and an editor.
My pet rock cannot walk or talk,
If it ever did eat or drink -
That would be quite a shock.
Most days it doesn’t even think.
What would a pet rock say,
If a pet rock could talk?
What would a pet rock think,
If a pet rock had thoughts?
by David Hugh Beaumont
David Hugh Beaumont was born in 1966 in the United States of America. He is a website content creator, a writer, a researcher, and an editor.
