It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity . . . or is it the other way around . . . or maybe it’s the alligators and mosquitoes and swamp monsters . . . all of whom seem to be enjoying the weather and climate around here.
“My favorite weather is bird-chirping weather.” -Loire Hartwould (pseudonym of Terri Guillemets): “April Morning on the Patio” (1988)
Five Little Weathermen
Five little weathermen sitting on a gate.
The first one said, “My, it’s getting late.”
The second one said, “There are storm clouds in the sky.”
The third one said, “Let’s run inside.”
The fourth one said, “Wait, the Sun is peeking out.”
The fifth one said, “That’s what weather’s all about.”
Ooh . . . went the wind, and up flew their kite,
And the five little weathermen chased it out of sight.
by Author Unknown
“Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.” -Anthony J. D’Angelo: “The College Blue Book” (1 November 1995)
“Antiphanes said merrily that in a certain city the cold was so intense that words were congealed as soon as spoken, but that after some time they thawed and became audible; so that the words spoken in winter were articulated next summer.” -Plutarch (C.E. 46 - C.E. 120): “Of Man’s Progress in Virtue”
“If you want to see the sunshine, you have to weather the storm.” -Frank Lane
“Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.” -Charles Dudley Warner (1829 - 1900): editorial in the “Hartford Courant” (24 August 1897) newspaper; a quotation often mistakenly attributed to Mark Twain
“There’s no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing.” -Alfred Wainwright
“In my best social accent I addressed him. I said, ‘It is most extraordinary weather for this time of year!’ He replied, ’Ah, it isn’t this time of year at all.’” -Oliver Saint John Gogarty (1878 - 1957): “It Isn’t This Time of Year at All” (1954)
The Reason
Rabbits and squirrels
Are furry and fat,
And all of the chickens
Have feathers, and that
Is why when it’s raining
They need not stay in
The way children do who have
Only their skin.
by Dorothy Aldis
“What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance.” -Jane Austen (1775 - 1817): in a letter (18 September 1796)
Jenny: Terrible weather, isn’t it?
Lenny: Better than no weather at all!
“Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.” -George Carlin (1937 - 2008)
An honest weather reporter might say, “Today’s forecast is bright and sunny with a fifty percent chance that I am wrong.”
Weather
Whether the weather is good,
Or whether the weather is not;
Whether the weather is cold,
Or whether the weather is hot;
We’ll weather the weather,
Whatever the weather -
Whether we like it or not!
by Author Unknown
“We must learn to see danger only in the storm clouds where it exists, and live our lives more fully in the clear skies between.” -Author Unknown
Possibly the last completely accurate weather forecast was when God told Noah that there was a one-hundred percent chance of precipitation.
The old proverbs, “Red sky at night, shepherd’s delight,” and “Red sky at night, sailor’s delight,” turn out to be surprisingly accurate, and have a weather science basis. A red sky appears when light is scattered by airborne particles trapped high in the atmosphere by high pressure. A red sky often means that an area of high pressure is moving in, bringing with it dry and pleasant weather.
Nature’s Shows
Nature puts on little shows
Every time it rains or snows.
by Author Unknown
And now the seven-day forecast: Monday to be followed by Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, with Saturday and Sunday expected over the weekend.
Weather Lore
Evening red and morning gray
Sets the traveler on his way;
Evening gray and morning red,
Brings down rain upon his head.
by Author Unknown
“We often hear of bad weather, but in reality, no weather is bad. It is all delightful, though in different ways. Some weather may be bad for farmers or crops, but for man all kinds are good.” -John Lubbock (1834 - 1913): “The Use of Life” (1894), Chapter IV: ‘Recreation’
“The weather is not bad here; it only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.” -Author Unknown
Wet-Weather Talk
It hain’t no use to grumble and complane;
It’s jest as cheap and easy to rejoice, -
When God sorts out the weather and sends rain,
W’y, rain’s my choice.
by James Whitcomb Riley (1849 - 1916): “The Complete Works of James Whitcomb Riley” (1916), volume 4, page 948
“Don’t knock the weather; nine tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while.” -Frank McKinney Hubbard (Frank McKinney ‘Kin’ Hubbard (1868 - 1930)): as quoted in “Changing Times” (May 1957) magazine
Good Weather
Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing,
Wind braces up, snow is exhilarating;
There is no such thing as bad weather,
Only different kinds of good weather.
by John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)
“In fair weather, prepare for foul.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2,818
Allen: Hey, look - the barometer’s falling!
Ellen: Huh. It probably wasn’t nailed up properly.
Meanwhile, in the weather reporter dating scene, Coastal Eddy is said to be going steady with Onshore Flo . . .
“Despite the forecast, live like it’s spring.” -Lily Pulitzer
Are there natural ways to predict the weather? Falling air pressure causes pain in birds’ ears, so they drop down and fly at lower altitudes. Low flying birds indicate a thunderstorm is coming. Pinecones can be used to forecast the weather. The scales will close when rain is on the way. Listen to the crickets. The number of times a cricket chirps in 15 seconds, plus 37, gives the current air temperature in degrees Fahrenheit.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Wayne.
Wayne, who?
Wayne’s expected later today, so bwing an umbwella!
Adam: How do weather reporters greet each other?
Adeline: With little heat waves.
Weather Lore
If a rooster crows
When he goes to bed,
He’ll rise in the morning
With rain on his head.
by Author Unknown
Is global warming real? Here is the inconvenient truth: Global warming is occurring on Neptune’s moon Triton, as well as on Jupiter, Pluto, and Mars - and there are no humans on these worlds, so what makes some people believe that global warming or climate change on Earth is human-made? Nuttiness and fraudulent money-grabbing schemes makes them believe it, that is what. Global warming is caused principally by natural cyclic activity such as solar flares erupting from the Sun. We can no more control or affect climate than a bunch of ants scurrying around on the ground can change the direction of clouds floating across the sky. However, we should still be concerned about pollution and contaminants, both human-made and natural, in our air, water, soil, and consumer goods. And mosquitoes. Distracted drivers. Processed foods. Aging infrastructure. High taxes. Low-quality television programs. Power-mad super-rich politicians. Lenient judges. Noise pollution. General rudeness. Tooth decay.
“I don’t care what anybody says - we never had strange weather before people started using bows and arrows.” -Prehistoric Caveman
When a pinecone fell on Chicken Little’s head, she misinterpreted the event to mean the sky was falling, and she went about spreading panic among the other animals, which eventually led to their demise when they were trapped and eaten by Foxy Loxy. The “Chicken Little” folktale teaches a valuable lesson or two, one of which is that we must be careful who we listen to, because listening to the wrong folks could lead to a bad ending for all of us. If we listen to the global-warming-climate-change fanatics, we’ll miss out on much in life because we will believe in wrong ideas. We need to get our heads right and start believing in the right ideas, like working hard and planning carefully to build good lives for ourselves and for the people who are important to us. Leave the doom and gloom to people who create works of fiction such as movies and books, and let the rest of us learn to live in reality, in which the weather and climate are doing just as they have always done, continuously moving toward becoming colder or warmer, wetter or dryer, windier or calmer. That’s the weather for you, always changing, but it in no way indicates the world is coming to an end.
“In view of the inevitable inaccuracy and incompleteness of weather observations, precise very-long-range forecasting would seem to be nonexistent.” -Edward Lorenz (Edward Norton Lorenz (1917 - 2008))
Rose: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Lilly: Pilgrims . . . June brides . . . allergies?
I Like It When It’s Mizzly
I like it when it’s mizzly
and just a little drizzly
so everything looks far away
and make-believe and frizzly.
I like it when it’s foggy
and sounding very froggy.
I even like it when it rains
on streets and weepy windowpanes
and catkins in the polar tree
and me.
by Aileen Fisher (Aileen Lucia Fisher (1906 - 2002))
“A misty morning does not signify a cloudy day.” -Author Unknown
And now for your extended forecast: Fffooorrrcccaaasssttt!
“The weather forecast is as follows: Funny skies and a chance of smiley faces, with giggle storms anticipated for later in the week.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Weather and Climates Facts
- Weather describes the state of the atmosphere at any particular time.
- Scientists who study weather are called meteorologists.
- Weather can be described in terms of temperature; precipitation such as snow, rain, and hail; wind speed and direction; visibility and road conditions; and cloud or fog cover, at any given time.
- Trying to predict weather is called weather forecasting.
- People who are especially interested in weather forecasts include farmers, travelers, commuters, aircraft pilots, ship captains, astronauts, home owners, and students hoping for ‘snow days’ on which schools will be closed.
- Climate is the prevailing weather conditions present in geographic regions over time, typically a year or longer.
- Scientists who study climates are called climatologists.
- Climates can be described in terms of annual rainfall and snowfall amounts; average daily temperature and wind speed; and record low and high temperatures.
- People who are especially interested in climates include architects, wildlife biologists, manufacturers of heaters and air conditioners, and vacationers.
Willard: Why can meteorologists not forecast today’s weather?
Wilfred: Because they are too busy studying asteroids and meteors.
Humidity: Expecting air - but finding water.
If you encounter a heat wave, should you wave back?
Roger: What does not get any wetter no matter how much it rains?
Robert: An ocean.
Weather and Climates Quiz
- What are scientists who study weather called?
- What are scientists who study climates called?
- What is precipitation?
Judy: “What is the weather like out there?”
Rudy: “I will be able to tell you just as soon as it clears up.”
Weather and Climates Quiz Answers
- Scientists who study weather are called meteorologists.
- Scientists who study climates are called climatologists.
- Precipitation is water that falls from the sky, such as rain, snow, and hail.
“On cable TV they have a weather channel - 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window.” -Dan Spencer
“The human race likes to give itself airs. One good volcano can produce more greenhouse gases in a year than the human race has in its entire history.” -Ray Bradbury (Ray Douglas Bradbury (1920 - 2012))
Mortimer: How did you find the weather on your vacation?
Timothy: I just went outside - and there it was!
What is the weather like in Tokyo? What is the weather like in Seattle? What is the weather like in Paris? What is the weather like in Sidney? To find out, visit the Weather Channel Website at www.weather.com. What is the weather like on Mars? That is a good question, and surprisingly, they can tell you.
Wonderful Weather
I like to watch the way the wind
can spin a weather vane.
I like to wear my big blue boots
to splash with in the rain.
I like to ride my bright red sled
on cold snowy days.
I like to feel the Sun’s warm rays
when I wade in the ocean waves.
Wind, rain, snow, and Sun
Every kind of weather
is wonderful and fun!
by Author Unknown
“After a storm comes a calm.” -Matthew Henry
Jerry: What is the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
Reggie: It is never partly sunny at night.
Partly cloudy and partly sunny mean the same thing.
“On staring out at a gloomy day: First you must realize that it is the day that is gloomy, not you. If you want to be gloomy, too, that’s all right, but it’s not mandatory.” -Nora Gallagher
“Storms make the oak grow deeper roots.” -George Herbert (1593 - 1633)
Ruth: What is the difference between climate and weather?
Arthur: Climate is what you expect, and weather is what you get.
Funny weather we are having . . . go ahead and joke about it . . . seriously. More MFOL! follows below . . . unless you would rather go outside to see what the weather is like . . . which is fine with us . . .
“My favorite weather is bird-chirping weather.” -Loire Hartwould (pseudonym of Terri Guillemets): “April Morning on the Patio” (1988)
Five Little Weathermen
Five little weathermen sitting on a gate.
The first one said, “My, it’s getting late.”
The second one said, “There are storm clouds in the sky.”
The third one said, “Let’s run inside.”
The fourth one said, “Wait, the Sun is peeking out.”
The fifth one said, “That’s what weather’s all about.”
Ooh . . . went the wind, and up flew their kite,
And the five little weathermen chased it out of sight.
by Author Unknown
“Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.” -Anthony J. D’Angelo: “The College Blue Book” (1 November 1995)
“Antiphanes said merrily that in a certain city the cold was so intense that words were congealed as soon as spoken, but that after some time they thawed and became audible; so that the words spoken in winter were articulated next summer.” -Plutarch (C.E. 46 - C.E. 120): “Of Man’s Progress in Virtue”
“If you want to see the sunshine, you have to weather the storm.” -Frank Lane
“Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.” -Charles Dudley Warner (1829 - 1900): editorial in the “Hartford Courant” (24 August 1897) newspaper; a quotation often mistakenly attributed to Mark Twain
“There’s no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing.” -Alfred Wainwright
“In my best social accent I addressed him. I said, ‘It is most extraordinary weather for this time of year!’ He replied, ’Ah, it isn’t this time of year at all.’” -Oliver Saint John Gogarty (1878 - 1957): “It Isn’t This Time of Year at All” (1954)
The Reason
Rabbits and squirrels
Are furry and fat,
And all of the chickens
Have feathers, and that
Is why when it’s raining
They need not stay in
The way children do who have
Only their skin.
by Dorothy Aldis
“What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance.” -Jane Austen (1775 - 1817): in a letter (18 September 1796)
Jenny: Terrible weather, isn’t it?
Lenny: Better than no weather at all!
“Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.” -George Carlin (1937 - 2008)
An honest weather reporter might say, “Today’s forecast is bright and sunny with a fifty percent chance that I am wrong.”
Weather
Whether the weather is good,
Or whether the weather is not;
Whether the weather is cold,
Or whether the weather is hot;
We’ll weather the weather,
Whatever the weather -
Whether we like it or not!
by Author Unknown
“We must learn to see danger only in the storm clouds where it exists, and live our lives more fully in the clear skies between.” -Author Unknown
Possibly the last completely accurate weather forecast was when God told Noah that there was a one-hundred percent chance of precipitation.
The old proverbs, “Red sky at night, shepherd’s delight,” and “Red sky at night, sailor’s delight,” turn out to be surprisingly accurate, and have a weather science basis. A red sky appears when light is scattered by airborne particles trapped high in the atmosphere by high pressure. A red sky often means that an area of high pressure is moving in, bringing with it dry and pleasant weather.
Nature’s Shows
Nature puts on little shows
Every time it rains or snows.
by Author Unknown
And now the seven-day forecast: Monday to be followed by Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, with Saturday and Sunday expected over the weekend.
Weather Lore
Evening red and morning gray
Sets the traveler on his way;
Evening gray and morning red,
Brings down rain upon his head.
by Author Unknown
“We often hear of bad weather, but in reality, no weather is bad. It is all delightful, though in different ways. Some weather may be bad for farmers or crops, but for man all kinds are good.” -John Lubbock (1834 - 1913): “The Use of Life” (1894), Chapter IV: ‘Recreation’
“The weather is not bad here; it only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.” -Author Unknown
Wet-Weather Talk
It hain’t no use to grumble and complane;
It’s jest as cheap and easy to rejoice, -
When God sorts out the weather and sends rain,
W’y, rain’s my choice.
by James Whitcomb Riley (1849 - 1916): “The Complete Works of James Whitcomb Riley” (1916), volume 4, page 948
“Don’t knock the weather; nine tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while.” -Frank McKinney Hubbard (Frank McKinney ‘Kin’ Hubbard (1868 - 1930)): as quoted in “Changing Times” (May 1957) magazine
Good Weather
Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing,
Wind braces up, snow is exhilarating;
There is no such thing as bad weather,
Only different kinds of good weather.
by John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)
“In fair weather, prepare for foul.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2,818
Allen: Hey, look - the barometer’s falling!
Ellen: Huh. It probably wasn’t nailed up properly.
Meanwhile, in the weather reporter dating scene, Coastal Eddy is said to be going steady with Onshore Flo . . .
“Despite the forecast, live like it’s spring.” -Lily Pulitzer
Are there natural ways to predict the weather? Falling air pressure causes pain in birds’ ears, so they drop down and fly at lower altitudes. Low flying birds indicate a thunderstorm is coming. Pinecones can be used to forecast the weather. The scales will close when rain is on the way. Listen to the crickets. The number of times a cricket chirps in 15 seconds, plus 37, gives the current air temperature in degrees Fahrenheit.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Wayne.
Wayne, who?
Wayne’s expected later today, so bwing an umbwella!
Adam: How do weather reporters greet each other?
Adeline: With little heat waves.
Weather Lore
If a rooster crows
When he goes to bed,
He’ll rise in the morning
With rain on his head.
by Author Unknown
Is global warming real? Here is the inconvenient truth: Global warming is occurring on Neptune’s moon Triton, as well as on Jupiter, Pluto, and Mars - and there are no humans on these worlds, so what makes some people believe that global warming or climate change on Earth is human-made? Nuttiness and fraudulent money-grabbing schemes makes them believe it, that is what. Global warming is caused principally by natural cyclic activity such as solar flares erupting from the Sun. We can no more control or affect climate than a bunch of ants scurrying around on the ground can change the direction of clouds floating across the sky. However, we should still be concerned about pollution and contaminants, both human-made and natural, in our air, water, soil, and consumer goods. And mosquitoes. Distracted drivers. Processed foods. Aging infrastructure. High taxes. Low-quality television programs. Power-mad super-rich politicians. Lenient judges. Noise pollution. General rudeness. Tooth decay.
“I don’t care what anybody says - we never had strange weather before people started using bows and arrows.” -Prehistoric Caveman
When a pinecone fell on Chicken Little’s head, she misinterpreted the event to mean the sky was falling, and she went about spreading panic among the other animals, which eventually led to their demise when they were trapped and eaten by Foxy Loxy. The “Chicken Little” folktale teaches a valuable lesson or two, one of which is that we must be careful who we listen to, because listening to the wrong folks could lead to a bad ending for all of us. If we listen to the global-warming-climate-change fanatics, we’ll miss out on much in life because we will believe in wrong ideas. We need to get our heads right and start believing in the right ideas, like working hard and planning carefully to build good lives for ourselves and for the people who are important to us. Leave the doom and gloom to people who create works of fiction such as movies and books, and let the rest of us learn to live in reality, in which the weather and climate are doing just as they have always done, continuously moving toward becoming colder or warmer, wetter or dryer, windier or calmer. That’s the weather for you, always changing, but it in no way indicates the world is coming to an end.
“In view of the inevitable inaccuracy and incompleteness of weather observations, precise very-long-range forecasting would seem to be nonexistent.” -Edward Lorenz (Edward Norton Lorenz (1917 - 2008))
Rose: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Lilly: Pilgrims . . . June brides . . . allergies?
I Like It When It’s Mizzly
I like it when it’s mizzly
and just a little drizzly
so everything looks far away
and make-believe and frizzly.
I like it when it’s foggy
and sounding very froggy.
I even like it when it rains
on streets and weepy windowpanes
and catkins in the polar tree
and me.
by Aileen Fisher (Aileen Lucia Fisher (1906 - 2002))
“A misty morning does not signify a cloudy day.” -Author Unknown
And now for your extended forecast: Fffooorrrcccaaasssttt!
“The weather forecast is as follows: Funny skies and a chance of smiley faces, with giggle storms anticipated for later in the week.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Weather and Climates Facts
- Weather describes the state of the atmosphere at any particular time.
- Scientists who study weather are called meteorologists.
- Weather can be described in terms of temperature; precipitation such as snow, rain, and hail; wind speed and direction; visibility and road conditions; and cloud or fog cover, at any given time.
- Trying to predict weather is called weather forecasting.
- People who are especially interested in weather forecasts include farmers, travelers, commuters, aircraft pilots, ship captains, astronauts, home owners, and students hoping for ‘snow days’ on which schools will be closed.
- Climate is the prevailing weather conditions present in geographic regions over time, typically a year or longer.
- Scientists who study climates are called climatologists.
- Climates can be described in terms of annual rainfall and snowfall amounts; average daily temperature and wind speed; and record low and high temperatures.
- People who are especially interested in climates include architects, wildlife biologists, manufacturers of heaters and air conditioners, and vacationers.
Willard: Why can meteorologists not forecast today’s weather?
Wilfred: Because they are too busy studying asteroids and meteors.
Humidity: Expecting air - but finding water.
If you encounter a heat wave, should you wave back?
Roger: What does not get any wetter no matter how much it rains?
Robert: An ocean.
Weather and Climates Quiz
- What are scientists who study weather called?
- What are scientists who study climates called?
- What is precipitation?
Judy: “What is the weather like out there?”
Rudy: “I will be able to tell you just as soon as it clears up.”
Weather and Climates Quiz Answers
- Scientists who study weather are called meteorologists.
- Scientists who study climates are called climatologists.
- Precipitation is water that falls from the sky, such as rain, snow, and hail.
“On cable TV they have a weather channel - 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window.” -Dan Spencer
“The human race likes to give itself airs. One good volcano can produce more greenhouse gases in a year than the human race has in its entire history.” -Ray Bradbury (Ray Douglas Bradbury (1920 - 2012))
Mortimer: How did you find the weather on your vacation?
Timothy: I just went outside - and there it was!
What is the weather like in Tokyo? What is the weather like in Seattle? What is the weather like in Paris? What is the weather like in Sidney? To find out, visit the Weather Channel Website at www.weather.com. What is the weather like on Mars? That is a good question, and surprisingly, they can tell you.
Wonderful Weather
I like to watch the way the wind
can spin a weather vane.
I like to wear my big blue boots
to splash with in the rain.
I like to ride my bright red sled
on cold snowy days.
I like to feel the Sun’s warm rays
when I wade in the ocean waves.
Wind, rain, snow, and Sun
Every kind of weather
is wonderful and fun!
by Author Unknown
“After a storm comes a calm.” -Matthew Henry
Jerry: What is the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
Reggie: It is never partly sunny at night.
Partly cloudy and partly sunny mean the same thing.
“On staring out at a gloomy day: First you must realize that it is the day that is gloomy, not you. If you want to be gloomy, too, that’s all right, but it’s not mandatory.” -Nora Gallagher
“Storms make the oak grow deeper roots.” -George Herbert (1593 - 1633)
Ruth: What is the difference between climate and weather?
Arthur: Climate is what you expect, and weather is what you get.
Funny weather we are having . . . go ahead and joke about it . . . seriously. More MFOL! follows below . . . unless you would rather go outside to see what the weather is like . . . which is fine with us . . .
