Child Abuse

3/20/2022

Picture of a child hiding in a doorway with knees drawn up and hands over face.

Child Abuse

For every child who cries at night,
     Alone with shame and pain and fright,

For every child who wants so much,
     To only feel a gentle touch,

For the beaten child, who cries in pain,
     Whose tears run silent, like the rain,

For the child used to satisfy lust,
     Who never learns to love or trust,

For the child taken from her home,
     And made to feel so all alone,

For the child whose home is just a shell,
     Where life becomes a living hell,

For the child who smiles but cannot feel,
     Because of scars too deep to heal,

For every child who yearns for love,
     I hope and pray to God above,

To hear your cries and heal your pain,
     And give you back your life again,

With love, to all the children,

by Kathy Williams

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Child Abuse

4/30/2019

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“It shouldn’t hurt to be a child.” -Jan Hunt

“I was brought up in a very poor and very violent household. I spent much of my childhood being afraid.” -Patrick Stewart (born 1940)

“Children have a certain amount of natural resiliency, which is the ability to withstand and recover from small emotional and physical injuries that have been inflicted upon them. Abused children have often lost that resiliency because what happened to them was extremely severe, and usually repeated daily over a period of years. They have been psychologically broken by their abusers. Typically, this loss of resiliency is carried into adulthood. The question is, how can abused children and adult survivors of child abuse regain their resiliency so that they can live without every small injury causing them to reel back and withdraw from life?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” -Frederick Douglass (pseudonym of Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey (1817 - 1895))

“Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime.” -Herbert Ward

“Wounded children have a rage, a sense of failed justice, that burns in their souls. What do they do with that rage? Since they would never harm another, they turn that rage inward. They become the target of their own rage. They repeat in their thoughts the same harmful words that were spoken to them. They must lash out, but the only ones weak enough to attack are themselves.” -Woody Haiken

“There’s no excuse for child abuse.” -Author Unknown

“Childhood should be carefree, playing in the sun, not living a nightmare in the darkness of the soul.” -Dave Pelzer: “A Child Called It” (1995); type of work: autobiography; author’s website www.davepelzer.com.

“Abuse of any one generally shows that he has marked traits of character. The stupid and indifferent are passed by in silence.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 2

“The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heal.” -Astrid Alauda (pseudonym of Terri Guillemets (born 1973))

“Treat yourself with care, compassion, acceptance, and respect, like you would a best friend, and celebrate the precious person that you are!” -Author Unknown

“Life can be wonderful at times. Life can also be extremely harsh, and to stand up against its harshness requires that we have substantial outer and inner defenses. Throughout your lifetime, you will encounter people who are abusive, overly critical, hostile, and even a threat to your physical well-being. Every one of us without exception will experience these things. Ours is a world of giving and taking offense, as individuals and groups with differing ideas meet. So, given this reality, how do we make life wonderful? How do we become stronger?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Parentage is a very important profession, but no test of fitness for it is ever imposed in the interest of the children.” -George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

“Children need role models more than they need critics.” -Joseph Joubert (1754 - 1824): “Collected Thoughts of Mr. Joubert” (published posthumously in 1838)

“If there are things you don’t like in the world you grew up in, make your own life different.” -Dave Thomas (Rex David ‘Dave’ Thomas (1932 - 2002))

“The hearts of small children are delicate organs. A cruel beginning in this world can twist them into curious shapes. The heart of a hurt child can shrink so that forever afterward it is hard and pitted as the seed of a peach. Or, again, the heart of such a child may fester and swell until it is misery to carry within the body, easily chafed and hurt by the most ordinary things.” -Carson Smith McCullers (1917 - 1967): “The Ballad of the Sad Café” (1951)

“Once I got over my anger and rage from childhood, once I stopped feeling like a victim, I was able to open myself to great resources of learning.” -Georges Saint-Pierre

“Whether to forgive or to not forgive is something for you alone to decide, and not for someone else to command you to do. However, when it comes to whether to forget or to not forget, the choice to not forget means that you remember what happened and you will not allow abuse to be part of your life ever again - not against you or against anyone else, you will not allow yourself or anyone else to be an abuser or a victim, ever.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“What we remember from childhood we remember forever - permanent ghosts, stamped, inked, imprinted, eternally seen.” -Cynthia Ozick

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Truth

Sticks and stones may beak my bones
     but words can also hurt me.
Stones and sticks break only skin,
     while words are ghosts that haunt me.

Slant and curved the word-swords fall
     to pierce and stick inside me.
Bats and bricks may ache through bones
     but words can mortify me.

Pain from words has left its scar
     on mind and heart that’s tender.
Cuts and bruises now have healed
     it’s words that I remember.

by Author Unknown

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“The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.” -Max Lerner (1902 - 1992): “The Unfinished Country” (1959)

“There are no illegitimate children, only illegitimate parents.” -Léon R. Yankwich (1888 - 1975): as quoted in the “Los Angeles Times” (9 August 1928) newspaper

Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) was a survivor of child abuse. Yet despite getting off to a rough start in life, he went on to achieve greatness, freeing those held as slaves, and bringing the United States of America back together again as one nation that had been divided by the American Civil War.

“There is a difference between discipline and abuse. Discipline is an attempt to teach a child right from wrong. Abuse is an attempt to make a child live in fear.” -Author Unknown

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“Spare the rod and spoil the child.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Book of Proverbs,’ chapter 13, verse 24

“Explanation: The scripture does not mean to beat a child with a rod as some folks might wildly imagine, but to guide a child with a rod, as a shepherd guides sheep down the right path by blocking a wrong path with a rod (also called a staff; a long heavy stick). Spoil means ‘to harm the character of someone by over-indulgence.’ A modern interpretation of the scripture might be, “If you do not use proper guidance and loving discipline, you ruin a child’s development.” Remember, it is a harsh shepherd who beats sheep with a rod, and an irresponsible one who lets sheep wander away from the flock in all directions to where the wolves will prey upon them.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

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“Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

April of each year is Child Abuse Prevention Month.

“You can find the happiness you never knew as a child. First, though, you may have to go through a long period of trying to find out what happiness is, because you may not yet know, possibly having not really experienced it for sure. Take many looks around you until you solve the mystery of what it is.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Most American children suffer from too much mother and too little father.” -Gloria Steinem (born 1934): as quoted in the “New York Times” (26 August 1971)

“The popular idea that a child forgets easily is not an accurate one. Many people go right through life in the grip of an idea which has been impressed on them in very tender years.” -Agatha Christie (Agatha Mary Clarissa Christie (1890 - 1976))

Types of Child Abuse
- Emotional abuse.
- Exploitation.
- Mental abuse.
- Munchausen’s by Proxy
- Neglectful abuse.
- Abandonment.
- Physical abuse.
- Can you think of other types of child abuse?

“Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.” -John Trainer

“People who belittle and demean you, criticize and insult you, pick you apart and judge you, are the most negative and toxic people alive. Then when you stand up for yourself, they try to tell others that you are the ‘toxic’ one. They say this because they cannot stand it when you no longer allow them to run all over you and treat you like trash. They cannot admit their own horrible behavior, so they try to make it look like it is all your fault.” -Author Unknown

“Children exposed to violence in their family show the same pattern of activity in their brains as soldiers exposed to combat.” -Author Unknown

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I Do Not Know Who I Am

I try to look inside but who do I see,
I see a shell that is supposed to have been Me,
I was not able to Grow,
I was not able to See,
I was not able to be Free,

A prison of Pain and a Wall of Hurt,
I feel like I should Be Living in Dirt,
But I am not going to let You Stop Me,
You will not see the Pain You brought Me,
One Day, I will truly be Me.

by Author Unknown

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“Let’s raise children who won’t have to recover from their childhoods.” -Pam Lee

“Many survivors blame themselves for the abuse and continue to feel responsible and guilty for anything bad that happens to them or to other people they know. Survivors often feel bad about themselves and different from other people. They therefore isolate themselves from other people and avoid making close friendships.” -Carolyn Ainscough and Kay Toon: “Breaking Free” (2000)

“You can spend a lifetime trying to forget a few minutes of your childhood.” -Author Unknown

“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.” -Peggy O’Mara

“Unhappiness in a child accumulates because he sees no end to the dark tunnel.” -Graham Greene (Henry Graham ‘Graham’ Greene (1904 - 1991))

“Words are more powerful than perhaps anyone suspects, and once deeply engraved in a child’s mind, they are not easily eradicated.” -May Sarton (pseudonym of Eleanore Marie Sarton (1912 - 1995))

“Don’t judge yourself by what others did to you.” -C. Kennedy

“There is hope for all survivors of child abuse to heal and to lead well-rounded, fulfilling lives. We can know true joy, happiness, and satisfaction in our lives, and come to know anger, sadness, and other emotions to a more balanced degree. We can hold jobs, develop careers, marry, raise healthy children, and participate in society. We can laugh, sing, dance, love, like, and be what we were always meant to be . . . full-fledged human beings . . . we are, after all, members of the most amazing species in the known Universe, with unlimited potential, in a world of endless possibilities.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Children should be seen and heard and believed.” -Author Unknown

This is ‘MFOL!’ . . . imagine a much nicer world . . .

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Coming Out from the Shadows

8/7/2018

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Coming Out from the Shadows

Growing up,
     I learned real fast,
Hide your true self,
     And wear a mask.

No one cared,
     Or ever did,
So I cried to myself,
     And always hid.

The older I got,
     The more I hid,
Thinking I was still
     A little kid.

It’s taken a lot,
     To finally see,
There was nothing ever
     Wrong with me!

I do not let others
     Shape my life,
And when they insist,
     I give them due strife.

Take it from someone
     Who learned later on,
Just stay true to yourself,
     And you’ll never be wrong.

by Author Unknown

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I Am a Survivor of Child Abuse

8/5/2018

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I am a Survivor of Child Abuse

When I was a child I had things done to me that should not be done to a child.

When I was a child I had things said to me that should not be said to a child.

When I was a child I experienced things that should not be experienced by a child.

. . . and I heard and I saw and I felt . . .

These things have become part of my experiences and memories.

My experiences and memories are a part of who I am.

I am either an adult now or a child removed from the circumstances of abuse - or a child now in circumstances in which abuse occurs.

I have good days and bad days, good nights and bad nights.

From this moment forward, I will take full charge of my experiences and memories.

Today I will begin to make better experiences and memories for myself.

My experiences and memories are a part of who I am, along with my hopes and dreams and plans and efforts, which I will strive to turn into accomplishments.

Someday, I will no longer think of myself as only being a victim or a survivor of child abuse, and instead, I will know myself by the good that I am in the present moment, and I will be free to be me, one person among the many people in the world.

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

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Thoughts on Child Abuse

8/2/2018

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Thoughts on Child Abuse

Imagine being so severely abused as a child that it effects your interactions with people for the rest of your life. You are fearful, shy, anxious, and so forth, with every person you encounter. People may think that you are weird and a bad person because you respond to them with distrust, defensiveness, nervousness, and more. You may have difficulty making eye contact and you may sweat heavily during encounters with other people, or you may have other uncomfortable responses. Even after repeated interactions with an individual, your ability to deal with him or her may not improve, and could become worse at times. You have difficulty trusting people, and you may make human interactions as brief and infrequent as you can. But you are not weird or bad - the person or persons who abused you when you were a child are the weird and bad people. Yet it is you who may pay the price for the rest of your life for having been abused as a child.

You were a normal human child, subjected to abuse, and it changed you. You were changed into a creature of fears and anxieties and shyness and more, against your will, during your formative childhood years, and the effects on your mind can last your entire lifetime, making human relationships difficult or impossible. It hurt then and it hurts now. You were traumatized. It wasn’t just your personality that was changed, but quite possibly your physical brain structure and nervous system as well. Scars and physical disfigurement are not unknown.

Healing or changing after child abuse is like trying to put a broken thing back together again and expecting it to be as it was before it was broken - a near-impossibility if done without skill, and the cracks and missing parts will always show if the repair is done in the wrong way.

Psychiatry and psychology and religion can damage child abuse survivors. Experts and professionals in those fields insist that they can help, but they nearly always end up hurting people even more. They can see you as weird, a bad person, paranoid, a sinner, immoral, or otherwise inferior, rather than understanding you as a traumatized person desperately in need of a chance for healing which may require many years. Even worse, they will place you in the same category as their other patients or clients, including psychopaths, schizophrenics, sociopaths, obsessive-compulsives, and criminally insane people. You may be none of those things, and the treatments used for those types of people are unlikely to help you and may harm you. They will want to stuff you full of pills and injections. They will put you in talk groups with people who will hurt you emotionally and possibly in other ways as well. Often the talk groups will be made up of the very same type of people who abused you and hurt you as a child.

Always remember this: It is not you who have failed to benefit from psychiatry, psychology, religion, and other so-called do-gooder systems. Instead, it is these do-gooders and their systems that have failed to understand you and countless others like you, because they do not want to understand you. They will deliberately and callously put you into the wrong category so they can use you for financial gain or other benefits to themselves and their do-gooder systems. May God help us all.

People abused during childhood can improve, but only with help that is designed specifically for people in their circumstances. One of the critical things they need is to be allowed to be in surroundings that are free from weird and scary and bad people and wrong treatment methods, so that they can begin to get better, grow stronger, and become full-fledged human beings and not merely bundles of pain and fear and misery. People who were abused as children need to be around normal, healthy, well-adjusted people continuously for a period of years in order to begin to improve. Dehumanizing institutions and harsh, cruel programs of treatment are not beneficial to anyone. Where and how to obtain real help is unknown to most people who were abused as children.

My name is David Hugh Beaumont. I was severely abused as a child, and this article is an opinion piece written by myself. Like many people who were abused as children and somehow survived to adulthood, I find that I must deal with my circumstances on my own. After a lifetime of seeking help, I have come to the realization that no real help exists for myself and countless others like myself. We walk alone on a difficult journey that we would like to be able to call life, but which in the end, is nothing but survival from one immensely difficult day to the next. The best we can hope for is to find some tiny thing like a joke or funny picture to try to laugh about for half a second. Some help exists as humor.

Will future generations find lasting solutions?

by David Hugh Beaumont

David Hugh Beaumont was born in 1966 in the United States of America. He is a website content creator, a writer, a researcher, and an editor.

Please note that the image shown in this article is an illustrative portrayal only of child abuse and not an image of an actual specific instance of child abuse.

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You Are Okay

8/1/2018

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Child Abuse

Child Abuse

​Coming Out from the Shadows

I Am a Survivor of Child Abuse

Thoughts on Child Abuse

You Are Okay

Coming Out from the Shadows