Abundance, noun: A party held in a bakery, at which buns dance; not to be confused with abarndance.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Baked Goods Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping it will eat him last.” -Winston Churchill (Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill (1874 - 1965)): as quoted in “Reader’s Digest” (December 1954) monthly print magazine
“Anananay: What happens when you start to spell banana and find yourself unable to stop.” -Author Unknown
Atrophy: An award given to those who do not exercise.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Physical Fitness And Exercising Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Augmented reality: A step in the process of turning us all into compliant cyborgs.
Benign, adjective: What you be after you be eight.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Age And Aging Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Employment And Work Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Brevity: Words that cover more ground than they occupy.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The Written Word And Writing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Brouhaha, noun: A jolly tea party.
Buffet, noun: A French word meaning ‘get up and get it yourself.’
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Mealtimes And Eating Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Buffoon: A cross between a buffalo and a baboon.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Foolish And Wise Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Buoyant, noun: A young male ant.
“Buzzwords: How bees talk to each other.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Cackleberry, noun: A hen’s egg.
“Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.” -Oliver Herford (Oliver Brooke Herford (1860 - 1935)): as quoted in “The Reader’s Digest” (1982), Volume 121, page 118
“Christmas is sleeping with one eye shut while the other eye watches for Santa Claus.” -Charles Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000))
“Circular Definition: See Circular Definition.” -Author Unknown
Cobweb site: A website that has not been updated for a long time.
Colander, noun: Someone who arrives with you on the same plane.
Compromise: An agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.
Computer chip: Any starchy foodstuff consumed in mass quantities while working at a computer.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of this article, or click or tap on these words to visit the Foods Page.
“Conversation: A series of sounds humans make upon encountering each other.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The Spoken Word And Speaking Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Correctional facility: Rent-free public housing for law-breakers, who are thought to benefit from confinement in each other’s company.
Courage: The art of being the only one who knows you are scared to death.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Fears And Courage Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Dairyman, noun: A cowboy.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Cattle Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Definition: What you are now reading. Daffynition: A wacky definition.
Democracy: A system of government in which people take the law into their own hands.
Denial, noun: A river in Egypt.
Dentist, noun: 1. A collector of old magazines. 2. A filling station attendant.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Teeth And Dental Care Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Detail, noun: What’s on the end of a dog.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Domestic Dogs Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday, but never remembers her age.” -Robert Frost (Robert Lee Frost (1874 - 1963))
“Direct Sales Only: Manufacturer had argument with distributor.” -Author Unknown
Doctor, noun: 1. A type of medical device used in making diagnoses. 2. Someone who practices medicine but charges as if he or she actually knew.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Doctors And Health Practitioners Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Doohicky, noun: A doo-dad or a whatchyamacallit.
Doomsday Prophet: A person who quickly fades from view when the doom and gloom predictions he or she claimed would happen fail to come true.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The End Of The World Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Drawkcab: Backward spelled backward.
Ecnalubma (ek na lub’ ma), noun. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in rearview mirrors
Efficiency expert: Someone who waits to make up a foursome before going through a revolving door.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Baked Goods Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping it will eat him last.” -Winston Churchill (Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill (1874 - 1965)): as quoted in “Reader’s Digest” (December 1954) monthly print magazine
“Anananay: What happens when you start to spell banana and find yourself unable to stop.” -Author Unknown
Atrophy: An award given to those who do not exercise.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Physical Fitness And Exercising Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Augmented reality: A step in the process of turning us all into compliant cyborgs.
Benign, adjective: What you be after you be eight.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Age And Aging Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Employment And Work Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Brevity: Words that cover more ground than they occupy.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The Written Word And Writing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Brouhaha, noun: A jolly tea party.
Buffet, noun: A French word meaning ‘get up and get it yourself.’
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Mealtimes And Eating Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Buffoon: A cross between a buffalo and a baboon.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Foolish And Wise Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Buoyant, noun: A young male ant.
“Buzzwords: How bees talk to each other.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Cackleberry, noun: A hen’s egg.
“Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.” -Oliver Herford (Oliver Brooke Herford (1860 - 1935)): as quoted in “The Reader’s Digest” (1982), Volume 121, page 118
“Christmas is sleeping with one eye shut while the other eye watches for Santa Claus.” -Charles Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000))
“Circular Definition: See Circular Definition.” -Author Unknown
Cobweb site: A website that has not been updated for a long time.
Colander, noun: Someone who arrives with you on the same plane.
Compromise: An agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.
Computer chip: Any starchy foodstuff consumed in mass quantities while working at a computer.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of this article, or click or tap on these words to visit the Foods Page.
“Conversation: A series of sounds humans make upon encountering each other.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The Spoken Word And Speaking Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Correctional facility: Rent-free public housing for law-breakers, who are thought to benefit from confinement in each other’s company.
Courage: The art of being the only one who knows you are scared to death.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Fears And Courage Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Dairyman, noun: A cowboy.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Cattle Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Definition: What you are now reading. Daffynition: A wacky definition.
Democracy: A system of government in which people take the law into their own hands.
Denial, noun: A river in Egypt.
Dentist, noun: 1. A collector of old magazines. 2. A filling station attendant.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Teeth And Dental Care Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Detail, noun: What’s on the end of a dog.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Domestic Dogs Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday, but never remembers her age.” -Robert Frost (Robert Lee Frost (1874 - 1963))
“Direct Sales Only: Manufacturer had argument with distributor.” -Author Unknown
Doctor, noun: 1. A type of medical device used in making diagnoses. 2. Someone who practices medicine but charges as if he or she actually knew.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Doctors And Health Practitioners Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Doohicky, noun: A doo-dad or a whatchyamacallit.
Doomsday Prophet: A person who quickly fades from view when the doom and gloom predictions he or she claimed would happen fail to come true.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The End Of The World Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Drawkcab: Backward spelled backward.
Ecnalubma (ek na lub’ ma), noun. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in rearview mirrors
Efficiency expert: Someone who waits to make up a foursome before going through a revolving door.
Elephant, noun: A useful animal with a vacuum cleaner on one end and a rug-beater at the other.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Elephants Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Encourage means to put courage into, and discourage is to take courage away.” -Benjamin Lotter
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Encouragement And Encouraging Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Endless Loop, noun: see Loop, Endless.
Loop, Endless, noun: see Endless Loop.
“Ethernet: What you use to catch the ether bunny.” -Author Uknown
“Exchequer: A playing piece from a checkers game that has left to join the chess set.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Beaumont’s Quotations By David Hugh Beaumont.
Farcical, noun: A long bike race.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Bicycles And Bicycling Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Flashlight, noun: A case for holding dead batteries.
Forthwith, adverb: Derived from ‘for Thwith,’ originally meaning to be completed in time for Thwith, an ancient Druidic feast of no fixed date. Now used to refer to any unspecified moment in the future and hence to completion of any task for which it would be unwise to provide a deadline.
Forum: Two-um plus two-um.
Fossil, noun: An extinct animal; the older it is, the more extinct it is.
Fossil fuels: What dinosaurs used to run their cars.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Dinosaurs Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Gardener, noun: A plant manager.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Gardens And Gardening Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Gazebo, noun: A cross between a gazelle, a zebra, and a hippo.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Animals And Animal Natures Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Gihugeous: Really, really big.
Glitter, noun: 1. Pixie dust. 2. Fairy sparkles.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of this article, or click or tap on these words to visit the Fairy Tales Page.
Goad, verb: Past tense of go.
“Hammers: Manually-powered fastener-driving impact devices.” -Author Unknown: United States Pentagon
Happiness: What people can always find in the dictionary.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Happiness Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Hardware store, noun: 1. Similar to a black hole in space if a husband goes in as he is not coming out anytime soon. 2. One of the rare shops in which women do not like to do shopping, and therefore, popular with men.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Shopping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Harpist, noun: A plucky musician
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Music Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Hootenanny, noun: 1. An informal gathering with folk music and sometimes dancing. 2. The result of crossing an owl with a goat.
Hors d’oeuvres: A sandwich cut into twenty pieces.
Horsepower, noun: Something that was much safer when only horses had it.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Horses And Ponies Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Hospital: A place where they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill.
Human, noun: A useful domestic animal, popular with cats, dogs, and fleas.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Humans And Human Nature Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Humor: God’s gift to humankind to compensate for the law of gravity.
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.
Impeccable, adjective: What every birdkeeper must be.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Birds Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Intense, noun: Where campers sleep.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Camping And Hiking Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Internet: The reason you are failing your classes.
“Junk is the stuff we throw away. Stuff is the junk we keep.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)
Laughingstock: Cattle with a sense of humor.
“Librarian: A bookkeeper.” -Author Unknown
Lobster, noun: Someone who throws poorly.
“Locomotion: That crazy way you move.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Lollipops: Behavior modification reinforcers.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at statistics.
“A luncheon is a lunch that takes an eon.” -Judith Martin (also known by the pseudonym Miss Manners (born 1938 as Judith Perlman)): “Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Elephants Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Encourage means to put courage into, and discourage is to take courage away.” -Benjamin Lotter
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Encouragement And Encouraging Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Endless Loop, noun: see Loop, Endless.
Loop, Endless, noun: see Endless Loop.
“Ethernet: What you use to catch the ether bunny.” -Author Uknown
“Exchequer: A playing piece from a checkers game that has left to join the chess set.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Beaumont’s Quotations By David Hugh Beaumont.
Farcical, noun: A long bike race.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Bicycles And Bicycling Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Flashlight, noun: A case for holding dead batteries.
Forthwith, adverb: Derived from ‘for Thwith,’ originally meaning to be completed in time for Thwith, an ancient Druidic feast of no fixed date. Now used to refer to any unspecified moment in the future and hence to completion of any task for which it would be unwise to provide a deadline.
Forum: Two-um plus two-um.
Fossil, noun: An extinct animal; the older it is, the more extinct it is.
Fossil fuels: What dinosaurs used to run their cars.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Dinosaurs Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Gardener, noun: A plant manager.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Gardens And Gardening Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Gazebo, noun: A cross between a gazelle, a zebra, and a hippo.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Animals And Animal Natures Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Gihugeous: Really, really big.
Glitter, noun: 1. Pixie dust. 2. Fairy sparkles.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of this article, or click or tap on these words to visit the Fairy Tales Page.
Goad, verb: Past tense of go.
“Hammers: Manually-powered fastener-driving impact devices.” -Author Unknown: United States Pentagon
Happiness: What people can always find in the dictionary.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Happiness Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Hardware store, noun: 1. Similar to a black hole in space if a husband goes in as he is not coming out anytime soon. 2. One of the rare shops in which women do not like to do shopping, and therefore, popular with men.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Shopping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Harpist, noun: A plucky musician
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Music Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Hootenanny, noun: 1. An informal gathering with folk music and sometimes dancing. 2. The result of crossing an owl with a goat.
Hors d’oeuvres: A sandwich cut into twenty pieces.
Horsepower, noun: Something that was much safer when only horses had it.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Horses And Ponies Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Hospital: A place where they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill.
Human, noun: A useful domestic animal, popular with cats, dogs, and fleas.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Humans And Human Nature Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Humor: God’s gift to humankind to compensate for the law of gravity.
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.
Impeccable, adjective: What every birdkeeper must be.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Birds Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Intense, noun: Where campers sleep.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Camping And Hiking Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Internet: The reason you are failing your classes.
“Junk is the stuff we throw away. Stuff is the junk we keep.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)
Laughingstock: Cattle with a sense of humor.
“Librarian: A bookkeeper.” -Author Unknown
Lobster, noun: Someone who throws poorly.
“Locomotion: That crazy way you move.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Lollipops: Behavior modification reinforcers.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at statistics.
“A luncheon is a lunch that takes an eon.” -Judith Martin (also known by the pseudonym Miss Manners (born 1938 as Judith Perlman)): “Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior”
Magazine, noun: A bunch of printed pages that tell you what is coming in the next issue.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Reading And Books Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Marsupials, noun: Upials from Mars.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“McGyverism: The notion that with just a toothpick and some chewing gum, you can get yourself out of any situation and perhaps save the world from certain destruction.” -Author Unknown
Meterology: The study of parking meters.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Weather And Climates Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Metronome: A city-dwelling dwarf.
Mirage, noun: A place where a ghost keeps its car.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Vehicles And Driving Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Modem: How a southerner asks for seconds.” -Author Unknown
Mommy: The person who kisses the boo-boo after you scrape your knee.
Nitrate: Cheaper than day rate.
“Node, verb: Past tense of knew.” -Author Unknown
“Obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Idleness And Industriousness Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Oregano, noun: The ancient Italian art of pizza folding.” -Author Unknown
Ow: The first word spoken by a child with older siblings.
Peekaboo: Hide-and-Seek for ghosts.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Ghosts And Apparitions Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Polarize: What penguins see with.
Preboarding: Boarding an aircraft or vessel before boarding it.
“Predicament: When a woman does not want any more birthdays, but still wants the presents.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Birthdays Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Prepone, verb: To move forward in time; the opposite of postpone. Usage example: We are preponing tomorrow’s meeting by holding it today.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Changing And Adjusting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Propaganda: A gentlemanly goose or a proper gander; see also ‘impropaganda.’
Puddle, noun: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Playtime And Playing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Public schools: A scheme for indoctrinating impressionable young minds with the ideology of political correctness, thereby creating the unthinking crazed zombie-like minions of Big Brother and his New World Order.
Quantum Physics: The dreams that stuff is made of.
Raisin: A worried grape.
Ratify: To turn into a rodent, typically as done by witches.
Rectify: When you try to fix something, but end up wrecking it instead.
Relay, verb: What chickens do when the farmer takes their eggs away.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Chickens Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Relief: What trees do in the Spring.
Sarcasm: Barbed ire.
Scandals: Footwear you should be ashamed of.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Shoes And Footwear Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Seamstress: What occurs when 250 pounds of person are stuffed into a size 6 outfit.
Three-course meal: Two cookies and a glass of milk.
Shingle: Sean Connery’s definition of a bachelor.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Loners And Singles Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Slander: To lie or tell the truth about someone.
Slippers: Footwear made from bananas.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Bananas And Plantains Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Snicker: A small laugh.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Laughter And Laughing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Stereotyping: A difficult feat, as there are no keys for typing on stereos.
Stick: A boomerang that does not come back.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Boomerangs And Throwing Sticks Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Stucco: What you get when you step on gummo.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Chewing Gum And Bubble Gum Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Subdued: A guy who works on submarines.
Synergy: 1 + 1 = 3.
Tablet, noun: A small table.
“Taxidermy: A skin condition caused by riding in taxis.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“Phony, adjective: Related or having to do with telephones.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Telephones Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Thirteen o’clock: Time to get the clock fixed.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Clocks And Timepieces Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Top bunk: A bed where you should never put a child who is wearing flying superhero pajamas.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Superheroes Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Traffic light: An apparatus that automatically turns red when a vehicle approaches.
UFP: Unidentified Frying Pan. Usage example: The police report shows the would-be burglar appears to have been struck in the noggin by a UFP.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Abbreviations And Acronyms Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Unicorn, noun: A single kernel of corn.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Vegetarian, noun: 1. A bad fisherman. 2. A bad hunter.
Walkie-talkie: The opposite of a sittie-stillie.
Webmaster: A spider. Usage example: Watch out for that creepy-crawly webmaster!
Wok: A frugal person’s transportation.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Walking And Ambulating Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Yours: Anything which, up to the present, others have not been able to get away from you.
Zenophobia: A persistent fear of convergent sequences.
We are MFOL! . . . making fun of the mundane . . .
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Reading And Books Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Marsupials, noun: Upials from Mars.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“McGyverism: The notion that with just a toothpick and some chewing gum, you can get yourself out of any situation and perhaps save the world from certain destruction.” -Author Unknown
Meterology: The study of parking meters.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Weather And Climates Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Metronome: A city-dwelling dwarf.
Mirage, noun: A place where a ghost keeps its car.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Vehicles And Driving Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Modem: How a southerner asks for seconds.” -Author Unknown
Mommy: The person who kisses the boo-boo after you scrape your knee.
Nitrate: Cheaper than day rate.
“Node, verb: Past tense of knew.” -Author Unknown
“Obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Idleness And Industriousness Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Oregano, noun: The ancient Italian art of pizza folding.” -Author Unknown
Ow: The first word spoken by a child with older siblings.
Peekaboo: Hide-and-Seek for ghosts.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Ghosts And Apparitions Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Polarize: What penguins see with.
Preboarding: Boarding an aircraft or vessel before boarding it.
“Predicament: When a woman does not want any more birthdays, but still wants the presents.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Birthdays Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Prepone, verb: To move forward in time; the opposite of postpone. Usage example: We are preponing tomorrow’s meeting by holding it today.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Changing And Adjusting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Propaganda: A gentlemanly goose or a proper gander; see also ‘impropaganda.’
Puddle, noun: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Playtime And Playing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Public schools: A scheme for indoctrinating impressionable young minds with the ideology of political correctness, thereby creating the unthinking crazed zombie-like minions of Big Brother and his New World Order.
Quantum Physics: The dreams that stuff is made of.
Raisin: A worried grape.
Ratify: To turn into a rodent, typically as done by witches.
Rectify: When you try to fix something, but end up wrecking it instead.
Relay, verb: What chickens do when the farmer takes their eggs away.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Chickens Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Relief: What trees do in the Spring.
Sarcasm: Barbed ire.
Scandals: Footwear you should be ashamed of.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Shoes And Footwear Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Seamstress: What occurs when 250 pounds of person are stuffed into a size 6 outfit.
Three-course meal: Two cookies and a glass of milk.
Shingle: Sean Connery’s definition of a bachelor.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Loners And Singles Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Slander: To lie or tell the truth about someone.
Slippers: Footwear made from bananas.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Bananas And Plantains Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Snicker: A small laugh.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Laughter And Laughing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Stereotyping: A difficult feat, as there are no keys for typing on stereos.
Stick: A boomerang that does not come back.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Boomerangs And Throwing Sticks Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Stucco: What you get when you step on gummo.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Chewing Gum And Bubble Gum Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Subdued: A guy who works on submarines.
Synergy: 1 + 1 = 3.
Tablet, noun: A small table.
“Taxidermy: A skin condition caused by riding in taxis.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“Phony, adjective: Related or having to do with telephones.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Telephones Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Thirteen o’clock: Time to get the clock fixed.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Clocks And Timepieces Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Top bunk: A bed where you should never put a child who is wearing flying superhero pajamas.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Superheroes Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Traffic light: An apparatus that automatically turns red when a vehicle approaches.
UFP: Unidentified Frying Pan. Usage example: The police report shows the would-be burglar appears to have been struck in the noggin by a UFP.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Abbreviations And Acronyms Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Unicorn, noun: A single kernel of corn.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Vegetarian, noun: 1. A bad fisherman. 2. A bad hunter.
Walkie-talkie: The opposite of a sittie-stillie.
Webmaster: A spider. Usage example: Watch out for that creepy-crawly webmaster!
Wok: A frugal person’s transportation.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Walking And Ambulating Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Yours: Anything which, up to the present, others have not been able to get away from you.
Zenophobia: A persistent fear of convergent sequences.
We are MFOL! . . . making fun of the mundane . . .
