“No matter how little money or how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.” -Louis Sabin
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poverty and Prosperity” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
If You Have a Dog
Thorns may hurt you,
Men desert you,
Sunlight turn to fog;
But you’re never
Friendless ever,
If you have a dog.
By Douglas Malloch (Douglas Malloch, Senior (1877 - 1938))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Words Heal” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.” -Samuel Butler (also known as Samuel Butler the Younger (1835 - 1902)): “The Note-Books of Samuel Butler” (1912), Part XIV: ‘Higgledy-Piggledy: Dogs’
Examples of the hundreds of different types of dogs include Beagles, Bloodhounds, Border Collies, Chihuahuas, Cocker Spaniels, German Shepherds, Golden Retrievers, Great Danes, Greyhounds, Irish Setters, Labradors, Mutts, and Saint Bernards.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Differences And Individuality” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals.” -James Thurber (1894 - 1961)
Astoria: Why do dogs not like to travel on airplanes?
Star: They get jet-wag.
“In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.” -Edward Hoagland (born 1932): “Dogs and the Tug of Life”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Animals and Animal Natures” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Paul
There once was a young man named Paul
Who went to a fancy dress ball;
He thought he would risk it,
And go as a biscuit,
But the dog ate him up in the hall!
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Limericks” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Overheard: I feel sorry for people who do not have dogs. I hear they have to pick up their own food if they drop it on the floor.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Housekeeping And Housecleaning” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Domestic dogs are omnivores, meaning that they eat a variety of foods, including meats, grains, and vegetables.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to visit the Foods Page.
Allie: What are dog houses made of?
Ellie: Mutterial.
“If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise!” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Physical Fitness and Exercising” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Thaddeus: What does a dog have on top of his house?
Tad: A woof!
Dogs see in three basic colors: blue, yellow, and gray. They do not see red and green as humans do, but instead see red and green as shades of gray or brown, brown being a combination of blue and yellow. This is not a problem for dogs, however, as they only need to see the colors necessary for them to survive in their world. Dogs can readily see their prey to hunt and kill it, but they do not need to be able to tell a red ripe tomato or apple from an unripe green tomato or apple because their close wolf ancestors are not dependent on having fruit in their diets. Dogs can see better in low light than humans, and they can detect motion, or movement, better than humans can.
“Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” -Roger Caras (Roger Andrew Caras (1928 - 2001))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Life and Living” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“If you don’t own a dog, at least one, there is not necessarily anything wrong with you, but there may be something wrong with your life.” -Roger Caras (Roger Andrew Caras (1928 - 2001)): “A Celebration of Dogs” (1982)
Jennifer: What goes tick-tock, woof-woof?
Frederick: A watchdog.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Clocks and Timepieces” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poverty and Prosperity” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
If You Have a Dog
Thorns may hurt you,
Men desert you,
Sunlight turn to fog;
But you’re never
Friendless ever,
If you have a dog.
By Douglas Malloch (Douglas Malloch, Senior (1877 - 1938))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Words Heal” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.” -Samuel Butler (also known as Samuel Butler the Younger (1835 - 1902)): “The Note-Books of Samuel Butler” (1912), Part XIV: ‘Higgledy-Piggledy: Dogs’
Examples of the hundreds of different types of dogs include Beagles, Bloodhounds, Border Collies, Chihuahuas, Cocker Spaniels, German Shepherds, Golden Retrievers, Great Danes, Greyhounds, Irish Setters, Labradors, Mutts, and Saint Bernards.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Differences And Individuality” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals.” -James Thurber (1894 - 1961)
Astoria: Why do dogs not like to travel on airplanes?
Star: They get jet-wag.
“In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.” -Edward Hoagland (born 1932): “Dogs and the Tug of Life”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Animals and Animal Natures” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Paul
There once was a young man named Paul
Who went to a fancy dress ball;
He thought he would risk it,
And go as a biscuit,
But the dog ate him up in the hall!
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Limericks” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Overheard: I feel sorry for people who do not have dogs. I hear they have to pick up their own food if they drop it on the floor.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Housekeeping And Housecleaning” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Domestic dogs are omnivores, meaning that they eat a variety of foods, including meats, grains, and vegetables.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to visit the Foods Page.
Allie: What are dog houses made of?
Ellie: Mutterial.
“If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise!” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Physical Fitness and Exercising” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Thaddeus: What does a dog have on top of his house?
Tad: A woof!
Dogs see in three basic colors: blue, yellow, and gray. They do not see red and green as humans do, but instead see red and green as shades of gray or brown, brown being a combination of blue and yellow. This is not a problem for dogs, however, as they only need to see the colors necessary for them to survive in their world. Dogs can readily see their prey to hunt and kill it, but they do not need to be able to tell a red ripe tomato or apple from an unripe green tomato or apple because their close wolf ancestors are not dependent on having fruit in their diets. Dogs can see better in low light than humans, and they can detect motion, or movement, better than humans can.
“Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” -Roger Caras (Roger Andrew Caras (1928 - 2001))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Life and Living” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“If you don’t own a dog, at least one, there is not necessarily anything wrong with you, but there may be something wrong with your life.” -Roger Caras (Roger Andrew Caras (1928 - 2001)): “A Celebration of Dogs” (1982)
Jennifer: What goes tick-tock, woof-woof?
Frederick: A watchdog.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Clocks and Timepieces” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“If you can’t decide between a Shepherd, a Setter, or a Poodle, get them all - adopt a mutt.” -Author Unknown: American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA)
“From the dog’s point of view, his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog.” -Mabel Louise Robinson (1874 - 1962)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Appearances And Looks” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
At the dog-show held at our local hospital fete, there were many handsome dogs with equally handsome owners. But my attention was drawn to a small mongrel and his owner, a boy of about eleven. For nearly an hour, the boy had been gently grooming and hugging his pet in turn. When his name was called the boy tenderly took the dog’s head into his cupped hands and looked at him with all the love a small boy could show. “Now you mustn’t be upset if you don’t win a prize,” he said, “you see, they don’t know you as well as I do.” -Author Unknown
Dogs hear both above and below humans on the sound frequency spectrum, and they can also pinpoint sound direction faster and hear sounds that are four times as far away as what humans are capable of hearing. Dogs can locate the source of a sound in 1/600th of a second, using the 18 muscles or more to position their ears for best sound reception.
“When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?” -Author Unknown
“If the dogs are barking at your heels, you know you’re leading the pack.” -Author Unknown
“Dogs need to sniff the ground; it’s how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.” -Dave Barry (David McAlister Barry (born 1947))
Ned: Why does your dog keep turning around in circles?
Jed: He is a watchdog and he is winding himself up.
A man had seventy-two dogs in his house - until he finally found a doctor who cured him of whistling in his sleep.
Dogs have a remarkable sense of smell, and are capable of differentiating odors in concentrations nearly 100 million times lower than humans can. While humans have 5 million smell-detecting cells, dogs have more than 220 million. The part of the brain that interprets smell is also four times larger in dogs than in humans. Dogs have wet noses to collect more of the tiny odor particulates in the air.
“The reason dogs have so many friends is because they wag their tails and not their tongues.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About How To Make And Keep Friends” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Why was the dog laughing? Because he was gnawing on a funny bone.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Just like their wolf ancestors, dogs in a pack are more likely to chase and hunt than a single dog on its own. Two dogs are enough to form a pack.
I am a pet that has four legs,
And a tail at the end.
You might hear me barking,
And I’m known as man’s best friend.
Who am I?
Solution: I am a dog.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Rhyming Riddles” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Money may buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.” -Lyle Brown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Kindnesses And Good Deeds” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Eve: Why do dogs bark at criminals?
Evelyn: To give them a ruff time!
When meeting a strange dog, remember that the dog is likewise meeting a human stranger. Let the dog sniff the back of your closed hand, and do not show the dog your fingers - they are easier to bite!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Meeting And Parting” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
We think we might be on to something here: Remember when dogs were named Bowser and said, “Bow-wow”? Along came dogs with names such as Spot, who said, “Arf, arf.” Then dogs with names like Duke and King started saying, “Woof-woof.” Next came dogs named Killer who said, “Grrr-grrrrrr!” We think dogs were much nicer back when they said, “Bow-wow.” How about you?
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” -Andy Rooney (Andrew Aitken ‘Andy’ Rooney (1919 - 2011))
“Dachshund, a dog and a half long and a half a dog high.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in Herbert V. Prochnow and Herbert V. Prochnow, Junior, editors: “A Treasury of Humorous Quotations” (1969)
Dan: Does your dog like children and the elderly?
Stan: Yes, but he prefers dog food!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Mealtimes and Eating” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“From the dog’s point of view, his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog.” -Mabel Louise Robinson (1874 - 1962)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Appearances And Looks” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
At the dog-show held at our local hospital fete, there were many handsome dogs with equally handsome owners. But my attention was drawn to a small mongrel and his owner, a boy of about eleven. For nearly an hour, the boy had been gently grooming and hugging his pet in turn. When his name was called the boy tenderly took the dog’s head into his cupped hands and looked at him with all the love a small boy could show. “Now you mustn’t be upset if you don’t win a prize,” he said, “you see, they don’t know you as well as I do.” -Author Unknown
Dogs hear both above and below humans on the sound frequency spectrum, and they can also pinpoint sound direction faster and hear sounds that are four times as far away as what humans are capable of hearing. Dogs can locate the source of a sound in 1/600th of a second, using the 18 muscles or more to position their ears for best sound reception.
“When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?” -Author Unknown
“If the dogs are barking at your heels, you know you’re leading the pack.” -Author Unknown
“Dogs need to sniff the ground; it’s how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.” -Dave Barry (David McAlister Barry (born 1947))
Ned: Why does your dog keep turning around in circles?
Jed: He is a watchdog and he is winding himself up.
A man had seventy-two dogs in his house - until he finally found a doctor who cured him of whistling in his sleep.
Dogs have a remarkable sense of smell, and are capable of differentiating odors in concentrations nearly 100 million times lower than humans can. While humans have 5 million smell-detecting cells, dogs have more than 220 million. The part of the brain that interprets smell is also four times larger in dogs than in humans. Dogs have wet noses to collect more of the tiny odor particulates in the air.
“The reason dogs have so many friends is because they wag their tails and not their tongues.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About How To Make And Keep Friends” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Why was the dog laughing? Because he was gnawing on a funny bone.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Just like their wolf ancestors, dogs in a pack are more likely to chase and hunt than a single dog on its own. Two dogs are enough to form a pack.
I am a pet that has four legs,
And a tail at the end.
You might hear me barking,
And I’m known as man’s best friend.
Who am I?
Solution: I am a dog.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Rhyming Riddles” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Money may buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.” -Lyle Brown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Kindnesses And Good Deeds” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Eve: Why do dogs bark at criminals?
Evelyn: To give them a ruff time!
When meeting a strange dog, remember that the dog is likewise meeting a human stranger. Let the dog sniff the back of your closed hand, and do not show the dog your fingers - they are easier to bite!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Meeting And Parting” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
We think we might be on to something here: Remember when dogs were named Bowser and said, “Bow-wow”? Along came dogs with names such as Spot, who said, “Arf, arf.” Then dogs with names like Duke and King started saying, “Woof-woof.” Next came dogs named Killer who said, “Grrr-grrrrrr!” We think dogs were much nicer back when they said, “Bow-wow.” How about you?
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” -Andy Rooney (Andrew Aitken ‘Andy’ Rooney (1919 - 2011))
“Dachshund, a dog and a half long and a half a dog high.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in Herbert V. Prochnow and Herbert V. Prochnow, Junior, editors: “A Treasury of Humorous Quotations” (1969)
Dan: Does your dog like children and the elderly?
Stan: Yes, but he prefers dog food!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Mealtimes and Eating” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk.” -O. A. Battista (Orlando Aloysius Battista (1917 - 1995))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Walking And Ambulating” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Sheila: Why does a dog wag his tail?
Shelby: Because no one will wag it for him.
In 2003, Doctor Roger Mugford invented the ‘wagometer,’ a device he claims can interpret a dog’s exact mood by measuring the wag of its tail.
“Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.” -Max Eastman (Max Forrester Eastman (1883 - 1969)): “Enjoyment of Laughter” (1936)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Laughter And Laughing” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Gossiping and Gossipers” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Basenjis are the only non-barking domestic dogs. They yodel instead, and are known to mimic the sounds of police car, firetruck, and ambulance sirens.
Danny: What is the quietest kind of a dog?
Denny: A hush puppy.
“Dear God, please help me to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Prayers and Spiritual Affirmations” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
First Dog: Ruff, ruff! My name is “Bad Dog, Bad Dog!” What is your name?
Second Dog: Arf! My name is “Down, Boy!”
“He is your friend, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.” -Author Unknown
Imagine a parallel dimension in which it is the dog that takes you for a walk, where you lie on the rug and the dog is on the couch, where dog food looks and smells better than your food - what, you say that is the universe in which you already live?
“A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.” -Jack London (pseudonym of John Griffith Chaney (1876 - 1916))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Charitable Giving and Helping” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Chase: Why are dogs like phones?
Chad: Because they have collar I.D.’s!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Telephones” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“My dog understands perfectly everything I say to him. I am the one who does not understand.” -V. Furbish Lousewart
One in three dog owners say they have talked to their pets on the phone.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About The Spoken Word And Speaking” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Enormous and Shaggy
There was a wee lassie called Maggie,
Whose dog was enormous and shaggy;
The front end of him
Looked vicious and grim . . .
But the tail end was friendly and waggy!
By Author Unknown
“One minute in a dog’s life is like seven minutes in your life. That’s why your dog seems so impatient when wanting to go out for a walk.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Waiting And Patience” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drives into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Let him come out as I do, and bark.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in Mrs. Piozzi: “Anecdotes of Samuel Johnson” (1786), page 252
“My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That’s almost $7.00 in dog money.” -Joe Weinstein
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Money” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Giles: What’s fast, furry, and goes, “Foow, foow”?
Gail: A dog chasing a car that’s going in reverse.
So, you are a dog and you chase cars - what exactly are your plans if you ever catch one?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Inquisitiveness And Curiosity” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Walking And Ambulating” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Sheila: Why does a dog wag his tail?
Shelby: Because no one will wag it for him.
In 2003, Doctor Roger Mugford invented the ‘wagometer,’ a device he claims can interpret a dog’s exact mood by measuring the wag of its tail.
“Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.” -Max Eastman (Max Forrester Eastman (1883 - 1969)): “Enjoyment of Laughter” (1936)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Laughter And Laughing” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Gossiping and Gossipers” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Basenjis are the only non-barking domestic dogs. They yodel instead, and are known to mimic the sounds of police car, firetruck, and ambulance sirens.
Danny: What is the quietest kind of a dog?
Denny: A hush puppy.
“Dear God, please help me to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Prayers and Spiritual Affirmations” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
First Dog: Ruff, ruff! My name is “Bad Dog, Bad Dog!” What is your name?
Second Dog: Arf! My name is “Down, Boy!”
“He is your friend, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.” -Author Unknown
Imagine a parallel dimension in which it is the dog that takes you for a walk, where you lie on the rug and the dog is on the couch, where dog food looks and smells better than your food - what, you say that is the universe in which you already live?
“A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.” -Jack London (pseudonym of John Griffith Chaney (1876 - 1916))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Charitable Giving and Helping” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Chase: Why are dogs like phones?
Chad: Because they have collar I.D.’s!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Telephones” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“My dog understands perfectly everything I say to him. I am the one who does not understand.” -V. Furbish Lousewart
One in three dog owners say they have talked to their pets on the phone.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About The Spoken Word And Speaking” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Enormous and Shaggy
There was a wee lassie called Maggie,
Whose dog was enormous and shaggy;
The front end of him
Looked vicious and grim . . .
But the tail end was friendly and waggy!
By Author Unknown
“One minute in a dog’s life is like seven minutes in your life. That’s why your dog seems so impatient when wanting to go out for a walk.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Waiting And Patience” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drives into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Let him come out as I do, and bark.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in Mrs. Piozzi: “Anecdotes of Samuel Johnson” (1786), page 252
“My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That’s almost $7.00 in dog money.” -Joe Weinstein
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Money” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Giles: What’s fast, furry, and goes, “Foow, foow”?
Gail: A dog chasing a car that’s going in reverse.
So, you are a dog and you chase cars - what exactly are your plans if you ever catch one?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Inquisitiveness And Curiosity” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
All dogs can be traced back to a weasel-like animal called the Miacis that lived in trees and dens about 40 million years ago. The Miacis later evolved into the Tomarctus, a direct forbear of the genus Canis, which includes wolves and jackals. The first dogs were self-domesticated wolves that hung around the earliest permanent human settlements, 12,000 or more years ago. The first identifiable dog breed appeared in about 9000 B.C.E., and seems to have been a type of Greyhound dog used for hunting. The domestic dog has been one of the most popular animals throughout human history. Dogs have formed such a strong bond as pets, workers, and companions to humans that they have earned the nickname, ‘Man’s best friend.’
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About History” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” -Robert Benchley (Robert Charles Benchley (1889 - 1945))
Why do dogs sometimes turn around several times before taking a nap? Domesticated dogs, being descendants of wild dogs, retain some wild dog instincts. Wild dogs typically live in the forest or in the brush, and often have to trample down grass and weeds to make a comfortable place to lie down. They do this by walking around and around in tight circles. It is speculated remnants of this instinct account for a domesticated dog’s tendency to turn around a few times before taking a nap.
Leon: Why was the puppy so well-behaved in class?
Noelle: He wanted to be the teacher’s pet.
Crystal: In which month do dogs bark the least?
Amber: February, because with 28 days, it is the shortest month.
A man answered his doorbell and a friend walked in, followed by a very large dog. As they began talking, the dog knocked over a lamp, jumped up on the sofa with his muddy paws, and began chewing on one of the pillows. The outraged householder, unable to contain himself any longer, burst out, “Don’t you think you should train your dog better?” “My dog!” exclaimed the friend in surprise. “I thought it was your dog.”
Caleb: Why is a dog so hot in the summer?
Kyle: Because it wears a coat and pants.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Attire and Accessories” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Leash: The strap attached to a dog’s collar, enabling it to lead its person.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Daffynitions and Definitions” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace.” -Milan Kundera (born 1929): as quoted in Doug Gelbert: “The Canine Hiker’s Bible” (2000), page 8
Ernest: How do you get a dog to stop barking in the front seat?
Nestor: Put him in the back seat.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Vehicles And Drivers” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“A dog has the soul of a philosopher.” -Plato (about 427 B.C.E. - about 347 B.C.E.)
Perth: Why do dogs run in circles?
Bertha: Because it is too hard to run in squares!
“No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))
Maggie: How do you know when you have a slow dog?
Mollie: He brings you yesterday’s newspaper.
In dog language, ‘leather shoe’ means ‘chew toy.’
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Shoes And Footwear” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Aggie: Why did the dog stay in the shade?
Agatha: Because he didn’t want to turn into a hotdog!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Weather and Climates” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“To err is human, to forgive canine.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Resenting And Forgiving” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
I’ve Got a Dog
I’ve got a dog as thin as a rail,
He’s got fleas all over his tail;
Every time his tail goes flop,
The fleas on the bottom all hop to the top.
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poetry” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“I once had a dog who really believed he was man’s best friend. He kept borrowing money from me.” -Gene Perret (Gene Richard Perret (born 1937))
If you think that it is you who ‘owns’ your dog, just answer this question: Which one of you leads when you go out for a walk together?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Questions And Queries” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Darla: Why do dogs not make good dancers?
Darlene: Because they have two left feet.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Dance and Dancing” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“Why don’t we call domestic dogs ‘domestic wolves’?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Question: Who delivers Christmas presents to dogs?
Answer: Santa Paws.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read and listen to Santa Reads “The Night Before Christmas.”
The Ambiguous Dog
The dog beneath the Cherry-tree
Has ways that sorely puzzle me:
Behind, he wags a friendly tail;
Before, his Growl would turn you pale!
His meaning isn’t wholly clear -
Oh, is the Wag or Growl sincere?
I think I’d better not descend -
His Bite is at the Growly End.
By Arthur Guiterman (1871 - 1943)
“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give Fido only two of them.” -Phil Pastoret
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Numbers and Counting” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare, and love we can spare. In return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made.” -Margery Facklam (Margery Anne Facklam (1927 - 2015))
We are MFOL! . . . wishing you a tail-wagging good day!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About History” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” -Robert Benchley (Robert Charles Benchley (1889 - 1945))
Why do dogs sometimes turn around several times before taking a nap? Domesticated dogs, being descendants of wild dogs, retain some wild dog instincts. Wild dogs typically live in the forest or in the brush, and often have to trample down grass and weeds to make a comfortable place to lie down. They do this by walking around and around in tight circles. It is speculated remnants of this instinct account for a domesticated dog’s tendency to turn around a few times before taking a nap.
Leon: Why was the puppy so well-behaved in class?
Noelle: He wanted to be the teacher’s pet.
Crystal: In which month do dogs bark the least?
Amber: February, because with 28 days, it is the shortest month.
A man answered his doorbell and a friend walked in, followed by a very large dog. As they began talking, the dog knocked over a lamp, jumped up on the sofa with his muddy paws, and began chewing on one of the pillows. The outraged householder, unable to contain himself any longer, burst out, “Don’t you think you should train your dog better?” “My dog!” exclaimed the friend in surprise. “I thought it was your dog.”
Caleb: Why is a dog so hot in the summer?
Kyle: Because it wears a coat and pants.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Attire and Accessories” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Leash: The strap attached to a dog’s collar, enabling it to lead its person.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Daffynitions and Definitions” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace.” -Milan Kundera (born 1929): as quoted in Doug Gelbert: “The Canine Hiker’s Bible” (2000), page 8
Ernest: How do you get a dog to stop barking in the front seat?
Nestor: Put him in the back seat.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Vehicles And Drivers” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“A dog has the soul of a philosopher.” -Plato (about 427 B.C.E. - about 347 B.C.E.)
Perth: Why do dogs run in circles?
Bertha: Because it is too hard to run in squares!
“No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))
Maggie: How do you know when you have a slow dog?
Mollie: He brings you yesterday’s newspaper.
In dog language, ‘leather shoe’ means ‘chew toy.’
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Shoes And Footwear” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Aggie: Why did the dog stay in the shade?
Agatha: Because he didn’t want to turn into a hotdog!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Weather and Climates” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“To err is human, to forgive canine.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Resenting And Forgiving” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
I’ve Got a Dog
I’ve got a dog as thin as a rail,
He’s got fleas all over his tail;
Every time his tail goes flop,
The fleas on the bottom all hop to the top.
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Poetry” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“I once had a dog who really believed he was man’s best friend. He kept borrowing money from me.” -Gene Perret (Gene Richard Perret (born 1937))
If you think that it is you who ‘owns’ your dog, just answer this question: Which one of you leads when you go out for a walk together?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Questions And Queries” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Darla: Why do dogs not make good dancers?
Darlene: Because they have two left feet.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Dance and Dancing” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“Why don’t we call domestic dogs ‘domestic wolves’?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Question: Who delivers Christmas presents to dogs?
Answer: Santa Paws.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read and listen to Santa Reads “The Night Before Christmas.”
The Ambiguous Dog
The dog beneath the Cherry-tree
Has ways that sorely puzzle me:
Behind, he wags a friendly tail;
Before, his Growl would turn you pale!
His meaning isn’t wholly clear -
Oh, is the Wag or Growl sincere?
I think I’d better not descend -
His Bite is at the Growly End.
By Arthur Guiterman (1871 - 1943)
“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give Fido only two of them.” -Phil Pastoret
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Numbers and Counting” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare, and love we can spare. In return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made.” -Margery Facklam (Margery Anne Facklam (1927 - 2015))
We are MFOL! . . . wishing you a tail-wagging good day!
