Overheard: “I have enough shoes.”
The earliest known footwear is a pair of sandals that date back to about 7,000 B.C.E. However, anatomical analysis of early humans seems to indicate that we may have begun wearing shoes as early as 40,000 years ago. Before then, we ran around barefoot and ate rocks. What’s that . . . oh, apparently, early humans did not eat rocks . . . just wild plants, raw meat, and bugs. Aren’t you glad you wear shoes?
Dustin: Do your shoes have holes in them?
Austin: No.
Dustin: Then how did you get your feet into them?
“My mom would take me to restaurants, and the first thing I’d ask for would be a pen and a napkin, and I’d sketch shoes and shoes and shoes.” -Alexander Wang
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Creativity And Innovation Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Shoe store sign: Limited Time Offer - Buy Two Shoes - And Get A Third Shoe Absolutely Free!
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Foolish And Wise Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“I am reminded of a piece of advice my father gave me regarding shoes . . . He said it is better to buy one good pair of shoes than four cheap ones. One pair made of fine leather could outlast four inferior pairs and, if well-cared-for, would continue to proclaim your good judgement and taste no matter how old they become.” -Cary Grant (pseudonym of Archibald Alexander Leach (1904 - 1986))
Edith: Who always goes to bed wearing shoes?
Edna: A horse, of course.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Horses And Ponies Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Shoes all over the world were identical until 1822, when left-footed and right-footed shoes were made for the first time in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States of America.
“To each foot its own shoe.” [translation to English]
“A chaque pied son soulier.” [original French]
-Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)): “Essais” (English: “Essays”), Book III, Chapter XIII
Sonya: Why did the two shoes not get along?
Sonny: Because they both thought they were ‘right.’
“The human history is the history of shoes. The history of places where we ever tread and stand.” -Stebby Julionatan
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read History Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
If the shoe fits, it must be some kind of trick - don’t be fooled!
Overheard: Your shoes certainly make you look ‘well-heeled’!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Encouragement And Encouraging Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
The boots Neil Armstrong wore when he walked on the Moon are still floating around somewhere in outer space. He had to leave his boots there so that he could bring as many Moon rocks as possible back to Earth.
Buckle shoes, bow shoes,
Pretty pointy-toe shoes,
Strappy, cappy low shoes;
Let’s have some to try.
-Frida Wolfe: “Choosing Shoes”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poems And Poetry Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
If the shoe fits, buy a pair in every color.
“Good shoes take you good places.” -Seo Min Hyun
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Opportunities And Possibilities Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Sabrina: What runs around all day and then lies on the floor with its tongue hanging out?
Katrina: A shoe.
In the silent movie, “The Gold Rush” (August 1925), comedic actor Charlie Chaplin actually ate his shoe. He portrayed his signature character, ‘The Tramp’ as a gold prospector who was trapped in a cabin during a snowstorm. Starving, he decided to boil his boot and eat the laces like spaghetti. Fortunately for Mr. Chaplin’s digestive system, the shoe used in the movie was made of licorice candy provided by the American Licorice Company.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Theater And Thespians Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“When it comes to wearing socks with sandals, if it works for you, you should definitely do it, and other people need to learn to mind their own business in matters of casual footwear.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))
“It is totally impossible to be well-dressed in cheap shoes.” -Hardy Amies (Edwin Hardy ‘Hardy’ Amies (1909 - 2003))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Cheapskates And Misers Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Tutor: Can you name at least six things you can wear on your feet that begin with the letter ‘s’?
Student: Sandals, shoes, skates, skis, slippers, sneakers, snowshoes, socks, stilts, and stockings.
“Flip-flops make your toes feel like they’re on vacation.” -Suzy Toronto at suzytoronto.com
Many years ago, two salesmen were sent by a shoe manufacturer to visit the people living in a faraway land, to investigate and report on market potential. The first salesman reported back, “There is no potential here - nobody wears shoes.” The second salesman reported back, “There is massive potential here - nobody wears shoes.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Pessimism And Optimism Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
If the shoe fits your foot, it will not fit your budget.
Ida: What has a tongue but cannot speak?
Emma: A shoe.
“Give a girl the right pair of shoes and she’ll conquer the world.” -Marilyn Monroe (pseudonym of Norma Jean Mortenson Baker (1926 - 1962))
Joe’s Shoes
The shoes of old Eskimo Joe
Fell apart as he walked in the snow.
“Have you needle and thread?”
I enquired, but he said,
“No, igloo them, not sew them, you know.”
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Limericks Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“If your shoes do not fit properly, it does not mean there is something wrong with your feet; it just means you need a different pair of shoes. Likewise, if something about your living situation is uncomfortable, it does not mean there is something wrong with you; it means you need a different living situation. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“A man can walk without shoes, but shoes can’t walk without a man.” -George Daly
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Impossible And Possible Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Shoes And Footwear Facts
- The bottom of a shoe that touches the ground is called the ‘sole.’
- The edge around the opening of a shoe is called the ‘collar.’
- The holes in shoes that laces are fed through are called ‘eyelets.’
- The part of a shoe above the sole is called the ‘upper.’
- The plastic casings on the ends of shoelaces that prevent them from unraveling are called ‘aglets.’
- The tongue of a shoe will not lick your feet.
Suggested title for a new television series: “Have Shoes, Will Travel: Tales of a Time-Traveling Shoe Salesman.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Television Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Who is worse shod, than the shoemaker’s wife,
With shops full of shoes all her life?
-Author Unknown: as quoted in John Heywood (about 1497 - 1580): “The Proverbs of John Heywood” (1546), Part I, chapter 11
Squeakers: Shoes that mice wear.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Mice Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Gregory: Who wears two pairs of shoes, both at the same time?
Geoffrey: Mules - as do horses, ponies, and mammoth donkeys kept for riding.
“The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.” -C. G. Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961)): “Modern Man in Search of a Soul” (1933)
“You cannot put the same shoe on every foot.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): “Maxims,” 596
A typical pair of casual shoes will last for about 500 miles of walking.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Fun Facts And Trivia Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
If the shoe fits, you are asleep and having a dream about shoes.
This just in: There is more to life than shoes - we are kidding, of course!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Life And Living Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“I just rescued a pair of shoes. They were trapped in a store.” -Author Unknown
Melody: What is made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
Clarabelle: A shoe.
If the shoe fits, it must be some kind of magical shoe.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Magic And Illusion Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“A handsome shoe often pinches the foot.” -Author Unknown
“Never buy shoes early in the day when your feet are their smallest.” -Frances Stein (Frances Patiky Stein (1937 - 2021))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Wisdom And Advice Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
The best time to buy shoes is when you are cranky and tired from walking and standing around all day, say for example, after work or school. This is because your feet are likely to be at their largest at this time of the day. That is right, your feet change in size throughout the day. It is shocking, we know. In the morning, you arise with your feet well-rested, but as the day progresses, you put a lot of pressure on your feet, causing them to spread out and swell up. If you try on shoes at the start of the day, well, that is when your feet are small, and if you were to continue to wear that same pair of shoes all day long, by the end of the day, your feet would not be happy, because they will be crammed into shoes that are too tiny.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Anatomy And Physiology Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Maxwell: Why do cobblers (shoemakers) go to Heaven?
Maxine: Because they have good soles.
“It’s not so much about the shoes, but the person wearing them.” -Adriana Trigiani
People who make or repair shoes are called cobblers or shoemakers. What are you doing? I’m cobbling together a pair of shoes!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Employment And Work Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Shoes and Footwear Quiz
- Describe the perfect pair of shoes.
- In what types of jobs do people need steel-toed boots or shoes?
- What are aglets and what is their purpose?
- What are arch supports?
- What are sensible shoes?
- What features should a person look for in a shoe?
- What is a padded collar on a shoe?
- What items make up a shoeshine kit?
- Which of the following shoe toe shapes is best for your feet: pointed, squared, or rounded?
Otis: What does a shoemaker use to repair shoes?
Otto: Toe-nails.
The earliest known footwear is a pair of sandals that date back to about 7,000 B.C.E. However, anatomical analysis of early humans seems to indicate that we may have begun wearing shoes as early as 40,000 years ago. Before then, we ran around barefoot and ate rocks. What’s that . . . oh, apparently, early humans did not eat rocks . . . just wild plants, raw meat, and bugs. Aren’t you glad you wear shoes?
Dustin: Do your shoes have holes in them?
Austin: No.
Dustin: Then how did you get your feet into them?
“My mom would take me to restaurants, and the first thing I’d ask for would be a pen and a napkin, and I’d sketch shoes and shoes and shoes.” -Alexander Wang
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Creativity And Innovation Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Shoe store sign: Limited Time Offer - Buy Two Shoes - And Get A Third Shoe Absolutely Free!
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Foolish And Wise Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“I am reminded of a piece of advice my father gave me regarding shoes . . . He said it is better to buy one good pair of shoes than four cheap ones. One pair made of fine leather could outlast four inferior pairs and, if well-cared-for, would continue to proclaim your good judgement and taste no matter how old they become.” -Cary Grant (pseudonym of Archibald Alexander Leach (1904 - 1986))
Edith: Who always goes to bed wearing shoes?
Edna: A horse, of course.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Horses And Ponies Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Shoes all over the world were identical until 1822, when left-footed and right-footed shoes were made for the first time in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States of America.
“To each foot its own shoe.” [translation to English]
“A chaque pied son soulier.” [original French]
-Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)): “Essais” (English: “Essays”), Book III, Chapter XIII
Sonya: Why did the two shoes not get along?
Sonny: Because they both thought they were ‘right.’
“The human history is the history of shoes. The history of places where we ever tread and stand.” -Stebby Julionatan
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read History Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
If the shoe fits, it must be some kind of trick - don’t be fooled!
Overheard: Your shoes certainly make you look ‘well-heeled’!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Encouragement And Encouraging Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
The boots Neil Armstrong wore when he walked on the Moon are still floating around somewhere in outer space. He had to leave his boots there so that he could bring as many Moon rocks as possible back to Earth.
Buckle shoes, bow shoes,
Pretty pointy-toe shoes,
Strappy, cappy low shoes;
Let’s have some to try.
-Frida Wolfe: “Choosing Shoes”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poems And Poetry Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
If the shoe fits, buy a pair in every color.
“Good shoes take you good places.” -Seo Min Hyun
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Opportunities And Possibilities Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Sabrina: What runs around all day and then lies on the floor with its tongue hanging out?
Katrina: A shoe.
In the silent movie, “The Gold Rush” (August 1925), comedic actor Charlie Chaplin actually ate his shoe. He portrayed his signature character, ‘The Tramp’ as a gold prospector who was trapped in a cabin during a snowstorm. Starving, he decided to boil his boot and eat the laces like spaghetti. Fortunately for Mr. Chaplin’s digestive system, the shoe used in the movie was made of licorice candy provided by the American Licorice Company.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Theater And Thespians Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“When it comes to wearing socks with sandals, if it works for you, you should definitely do it, and other people need to learn to mind their own business in matters of casual footwear.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))
“It is totally impossible to be well-dressed in cheap shoes.” -Hardy Amies (Edwin Hardy ‘Hardy’ Amies (1909 - 2003))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Cheapskates And Misers Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Tutor: Can you name at least six things you can wear on your feet that begin with the letter ‘s’?
Student: Sandals, shoes, skates, skis, slippers, sneakers, snowshoes, socks, stilts, and stockings.
“Flip-flops make your toes feel like they’re on vacation.” -Suzy Toronto at suzytoronto.com
Many years ago, two salesmen were sent by a shoe manufacturer to visit the people living in a faraway land, to investigate and report on market potential. The first salesman reported back, “There is no potential here - nobody wears shoes.” The second salesman reported back, “There is massive potential here - nobody wears shoes.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Pessimism And Optimism Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
If the shoe fits your foot, it will not fit your budget.
Ida: What has a tongue but cannot speak?
Emma: A shoe.
“Give a girl the right pair of shoes and she’ll conquer the world.” -Marilyn Monroe (pseudonym of Norma Jean Mortenson Baker (1926 - 1962))
Joe’s Shoes
The shoes of old Eskimo Joe
Fell apart as he walked in the snow.
“Have you needle and thread?”
I enquired, but he said,
“No, igloo them, not sew them, you know.”
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Limericks Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“If your shoes do not fit properly, it does not mean there is something wrong with your feet; it just means you need a different pair of shoes. Likewise, if something about your living situation is uncomfortable, it does not mean there is something wrong with you; it means you need a different living situation. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“A man can walk without shoes, but shoes can’t walk without a man.” -George Daly
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Impossible And Possible Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Shoes And Footwear Facts
- The bottom of a shoe that touches the ground is called the ‘sole.’
- The edge around the opening of a shoe is called the ‘collar.’
- The holes in shoes that laces are fed through are called ‘eyelets.’
- The part of a shoe above the sole is called the ‘upper.’
- The plastic casings on the ends of shoelaces that prevent them from unraveling are called ‘aglets.’
- The tongue of a shoe will not lick your feet.
Suggested title for a new television series: “Have Shoes, Will Travel: Tales of a Time-Traveling Shoe Salesman.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Television Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Who is worse shod, than the shoemaker’s wife,
With shops full of shoes all her life?
-Author Unknown: as quoted in John Heywood (about 1497 - 1580): “The Proverbs of John Heywood” (1546), Part I, chapter 11
Squeakers: Shoes that mice wear.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Mice Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Gregory: Who wears two pairs of shoes, both at the same time?
Geoffrey: Mules - as do horses, ponies, and mammoth donkeys kept for riding.
“The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.” -C. G. Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961)): “Modern Man in Search of a Soul” (1933)
“You cannot put the same shoe on every foot.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): “Maxims,” 596
A typical pair of casual shoes will last for about 500 miles of walking.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Fun Facts And Trivia Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
If the shoe fits, you are asleep and having a dream about shoes.
This just in: There is more to life than shoes - we are kidding, of course!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Life And Living Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“I just rescued a pair of shoes. They were trapped in a store.” -Author Unknown
Melody: What is made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
Clarabelle: A shoe.
If the shoe fits, it must be some kind of magical shoe.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Magic And Illusion Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“A handsome shoe often pinches the foot.” -Author Unknown
“Never buy shoes early in the day when your feet are their smallest.” -Frances Stein (Frances Patiky Stein (1937 - 2021))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Wisdom And Advice Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
The best time to buy shoes is when you are cranky and tired from walking and standing around all day, say for example, after work or school. This is because your feet are likely to be at their largest at this time of the day. That is right, your feet change in size throughout the day. It is shocking, we know. In the morning, you arise with your feet well-rested, but as the day progresses, you put a lot of pressure on your feet, causing them to spread out and swell up. If you try on shoes at the start of the day, well, that is when your feet are small, and if you were to continue to wear that same pair of shoes all day long, by the end of the day, your feet would not be happy, because they will be crammed into shoes that are too tiny.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Anatomy And Physiology Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Maxwell: Why do cobblers (shoemakers) go to Heaven?
Maxine: Because they have good soles.
“It’s not so much about the shoes, but the person wearing them.” -Adriana Trigiani
People who make or repair shoes are called cobblers or shoemakers. What are you doing? I’m cobbling together a pair of shoes!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Employment And Work Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Shoes and Footwear Quiz
- Describe the perfect pair of shoes.
- In what types of jobs do people need steel-toed boots or shoes?
- What are aglets and what is their purpose?
- What are arch supports?
- What are sensible shoes?
- What features should a person look for in a shoe?
- What is a padded collar on a shoe?
- What items make up a shoeshine kit?
- Which of the following shoe toe shapes is best for your feet: pointed, squared, or rounded?
Otis: What does a shoemaker use to repair shoes?
Otto: Toe-nails.
Presto: What results from wearing tight shoes.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Daffynitions And Definitions Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
A man walked into a shoe store, and tried on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asked the sales clerk. “Well . . . they feel a bit tight,” replied the man. The assistant bent down and looked at the shoes and the man’s feet. “Try pulling out on the tongue,” offered the clerk. “Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth,” the man said.
“If the shoe fits, it’s too expensive.” -Adrienne Gusoff (Adrienne E. Gusoff)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Money Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Who is worse shod, than the shoemaker’s wife,
With shops full of shoes all her life?
[translation to Contemporary English]
Who is wurs shod, than the shoemakers wyfe,
With shops full of shoes all hir lyfe?
[original Early Modern English]
-Author Unknown: as quoted in John Heywood (about 1497 - about 1580): “A Dialogue of Proverbs” (1546), Part I, chapter 11
A man walked into a shoe store and asked for a pair of shoes in size eight. The well-trained salesman said, “But sir, you need an eleven or an eleven-and-a-half.” “Just bring me a size eight,” the man said. The sales guy brought them out and the man stuffed his feet into them and stood up in obvious pain. He turned to the salesman and said, “I’ll take them. You see, I have lost my house to the tax collector, I live with my mother-in-law, my daughter ran off with her no-account boyfriend, and my business has filed for bankruptcy. The only pleasure I have left is at the end of the day when I go home and take my shoes off.”
“If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear shoes that are too tight.” -Author Unknown: “The Houghton Line” (November 1965)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Memory And Memories Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“I have tennis shoes with little rhinestones that I slip on if I exercise. But I always wear heels, even around the house. I’m such a short little thing, I can’t reach my kitchen cabinets.” -Dolly Parton (Dolly Rebecca Parton (born 1946))
“Sure, I may walk around as if everything is fine . . . but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. I think that my shoe is trying to eat my sock, and that is a scary thought.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Horror Stories Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Darlene: What did the shoe say to the gum?
Darla: “Stick with me and we’ll go places!”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Chewing Gum And Bubble Gum Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
If the shoe fits, it’s obviously on somebody else’s foot.
Many people do not know that feet can increase by one-and-a-half shoe sizes or more throughout their lifetimes. A person’s feet can flatten and spread out as he or she ages, causing a permanent increase in both length and width. Additionally, changes in weight, surgery, amount of time spent standing and walking on the feet, lifting and moving heavy items all day long and other physical exertion at work and in play, and pregnancy, can cause foot size to increase. You may want to consider this the next time you go shoe shopping, especially if you are torturing yourself by trying to wear the same shoe size now that you wore years ago as a teenager or young adult. Try on slightly larger size shoes in slightly wider widths, perhaps with more toe room. Your feet will thank you!
“I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside, ‘Made around the corner.’” -Frank Carson (Hugh Francis ‘Frank’ Carson (1926 - 2012))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Geography Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Shoes called sneakers were first produced in about 1800. They had a simple rubber sole design, with the name ‘sneaker’ coming from the fact that their soles are so smooth and yielding that they hardly make a sound on the ground.
Hubert: What kind of shoes do detectives wear?
Hugh: Sneakers!
Another name for a detective is a ‘gumshoe,’ because detectives have traditionally worn soft-soled shoes.
If the shoe fits, buy it.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pear.
Pear, who?
Pear of shoes!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Knock-Knock Jokes Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“I actually have more shoes than anyone will ever know.” -Tamara Mellon
Shoestring: What every self-made businessperson claims to have built their business on.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Beginning And Starting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
You can tell a lot about a person’s character by the shoes he or she wears.
Need money? How about this zany idea: Become a ‘shoe reading’ expert. People come to you, you look at their shoes, you tell them what their shoes reveal about them, and you then advise them on what kind of shoes to buy if they want people to have a different opinion of them based on their shoes. This idea makes a lot more sense than palm reading and other methods of ‘fortune telling.’
Overheard: So many shoes . . . and only two feet!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Numbers And Counting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Your shoes are only as good as the laces they’re attached to.” -Greg Sampson
Al: What goes, “Thump, thump, thump, squish! Thump, thump, thump, squish!”?
Fred: An elephant wearing a soggy tennis shoe.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The Eagle And The Elephants By Authors Unknown.
Norma: Why did the shoelaces arrive late at the party?
Nora: Because they got all tied up earlier.
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe . . . rumor has it that it once belonged to a giant who lived at the top of a beanstalk . . . the old woman was ambling along, looking for affordable housing in a safe neighborhood for herself and her children, when all of a sudden, a really big shoe dropped out of the sky. Aren’t fairy tales fun?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Chance And Luck Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Emma: What is sixty feet long, green, and has two tongues?
Emily: The Jolly Green Giant’s sneakers!
If the shoe fits, buy the store.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Indifference And Enthusiasm Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“It doesn’t matter how great your shoes are if you don’t accomplish anything in them.” -Martina Boon
“I stand corrected!” said the man in the orthopedic shoes.
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“Shoes transform your body language and attitude. They lift you physically and emotionally.” -Christian Louboutin
I was not made of common calf,
Nor ever meant for country loon;
If with an axe I seem cut out,
The workman was no cobbling clown;
A good jack boot with double sole he made,
To roam the woods, or through the rivers wade.
-Giuseppe Giusti: “The Chronicle of the Boot”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Nature And Wildlife Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Shoe store sign: This Week’s Special - Buy One Shoe - Get Second Shoe Free!
The ‘boat shoe’ was invented by Paul Sperry. He modeled the sole of the shoe after his dog’s paw.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Domestic Dogs Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Ernie: What did one shoe say to the other shoe?
Bernie: “You stay here, and I’ll go on ahead to see what’s underfoot.”
“You can never take too much care over the choice of your shoes.” -Christian Dior at https://dior.com/
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Choices And Decisions Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Geoffrey: What has no feet but wears out shoes?
George: A sidewalk.
Wherefore art not in thy shop to-day?
Why dost thou lead these men about the streets?
Truly, sir, to wear out their shoes, to get myself into more work.
-William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Julius Caesar” (1599), Act I, scene 1, line 31
“The shoemaker’s son always goes barefoot.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poverty And Prosperity Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
If the shoe fits, it is too good to be true.
“Shoes divide men into three classes. Some men wear their father’s shoes. They make no decisions of their own. Some are unthinkingly shod by the crowd. The strong man is his own cobbler. He insists on making his own choices. He walks in his own shoes.” -S. D. Gordon (Samuel Dickey Gordon (1859 - 1936))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Personal Destiny Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Hans Grovendraad, an honest clown,
By cobbling in his native town,
Had earned a living ever.
His work was strong and clean and fine,
And none who served at Crispin’s shrine
Was at his trade more clever.
-Jan van Ryswick: “Hans Grovendraad,” as translated from the French by F. W. Ricord
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Clowns And Clowning Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Here’s a great title for a song: “I’ve Got the Squeaky Shoes Blues, Yeah!” Now we just need you to write the lyrics, or words, to go along with the song title.
“Shoes speak louder than words.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The Spoken Word And Speaking Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Shoes squeak louder than words.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Beaumont’s Quotations By David Hugh Beaumont.
Moses: What kind of shoes are made from banana skins?
Moe: Slippers!
“All of the right shoes can take you to all of the right places in life. They don’t need to be flashy or show-offish, but the right kinds for the right places.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“You have to have the right shoes for the occasion.” -Suzanne Macpherson
“Between saying and doing many a pair of shoes is worn out.” -Author Unknown: Italian proverb
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Actions And Doing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
One way to determine if shoes are a good fit is to wiggle your toes. If the shoes are roomy enough for you to wiggle your toes, that means your toes are less likely to be squeezed together in a space that is too tight for them, at which time they would cry for help the only way they know how, which is by sending pain signals to your brain.
“I played [baseball] in a new pair of shoes one day and they wore big blisters on my feet. The next day we came up short of players, a couple of men hurt and one missing . . . I tried it with my old shoes on and just couldn’t make it. He told me I’d have to play anyway, so I threw away the shoes and went to the outfield in my stockinged feet . . . They picked it up and started calling me Shoeless Joe all around the league, and it stuck. I never played the outfield barefoot, and that was the only day I ever played in my stockinged feet, but it stuck with me.” -Shoeless Joe Jackson: “This is the Truth!” (1949)
“Feet-casements, noun: Boots or shoes: see Trotter-cases.” -John S. Farmer and W. W. Henley: “Slang and Its Analogues: A Dictionary of Heterodox Speech” (1890’s)
If the shoe fits, you have somehow been magically transported to a fairy tale land.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Fairy Tales And Folk Tales Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Customer: Do you have alligator shoes?
Clerk: Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?
“Which shoes are you going to put on, and where are you going to get them to take you today?” -Allan Rufus
Riddle:
I run over fields and woods all day;
Under a bed at night, I wait not alone
With long tongue hanging out,
I will be filled in the morn.
What am I?
Solution:
I am a shoe.
If the shoe fits, you are daydreaming again . . . time to get back to work.
City Slicker: How far is it to Springerville?
Country Bumpkin: Well, I don’t rightly know, but I’ll ask Jethro. He’ll know. Jethro’s traveled all over. He’s got shoes!
“My first thought upon entering any store is, ‘Where are the shoes?’” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Shopping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“If the shoe fits, you’re not allowing for growth.” -Robert N. Coons (Robert Nelson ‘Bob’ Coons (1944 - 2022))
Justin: Those shoes are too big.
Marvin: Have you thought about growing your feet larger?
“Shoes aren’t for sitting petty in, shoes are made for walking in.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Walking And Ambulating Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“All you really need is the right pair of shoes.” -Author Unknown
“To wear dreams on one’s feet is to begin to give a reality to one’s dreams.” -Roger Vivier
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Hopes And Dreams Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Life is a journey. Wear comfortable shoes.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“Put on your shoes and go take on the world.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Inspiration And Motivation Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
We are MFOL! . . . and that’s everything we have cobbled together about shoes . . . What’s that? . . . Our shoes are calling to us . . . seems they want to go out walking . . . maybe we will see you out there . . .
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Daffynitions And Definitions Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
A man walked into a shoe store, and tried on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asked the sales clerk. “Well . . . they feel a bit tight,” replied the man. The assistant bent down and looked at the shoes and the man’s feet. “Try pulling out on the tongue,” offered the clerk. “Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth,” the man said.
“If the shoe fits, it’s too expensive.” -Adrienne Gusoff (Adrienne E. Gusoff)
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Who is worse shod, than the shoemaker’s wife,
With shops full of shoes all her life?
[translation to Contemporary English]
Who is wurs shod, than the shoemakers wyfe,
With shops full of shoes all hir lyfe?
[original Early Modern English]
-Author Unknown: as quoted in John Heywood (about 1497 - about 1580): “A Dialogue of Proverbs” (1546), Part I, chapter 11
A man walked into a shoe store and asked for a pair of shoes in size eight. The well-trained salesman said, “But sir, you need an eleven or an eleven-and-a-half.” “Just bring me a size eight,” the man said. The sales guy brought them out and the man stuffed his feet into them and stood up in obvious pain. He turned to the salesman and said, “I’ll take them. You see, I have lost my house to the tax collector, I live with my mother-in-law, my daughter ran off with her no-account boyfriend, and my business has filed for bankruptcy. The only pleasure I have left is at the end of the day when I go home and take my shoes off.”
“If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear shoes that are too tight.” -Author Unknown: “The Houghton Line” (November 1965)
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“I have tennis shoes with little rhinestones that I slip on if I exercise. But I always wear heels, even around the house. I’m such a short little thing, I can’t reach my kitchen cabinets.” -Dolly Parton (Dolly Rebecca Parton (born 1946))
“Sure, I may walk around as if everything is fine . . . but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. I think that my shoe is trying to eat my sock, and that is a scary thought.” -Author Unknown
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Darlene: What did the shoe say to the gum?
Darla: “Stick with me and we’ll go places!”
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If the shoe fits, it’s obviously on somebody else’s foot.
Many people do not know that feet can increase by one-and-a-half shoe sizes or more throughout their lifetimes. A person’s feet can flatten and spread out as he or she ages, causing a permanent increase in both length and width. Additionally, changes in weight, surgery, amount of time spent standing and walking on the feet, lifting and moving heavy items all day long and other physical exertion at work and in play, and pregnancy, can cause foot size to increase. You may want to consider this the next time you go shoe shopping, especially if you are torturing yourself by trying to wear the same shoe size now that you wore years ago as a teenager or young adult. Try on slightly larger size shoes in slightly wider widths, perhaps with more toe room. Your feet will thank you!
“I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside, ‘Made around the corner.’” -Frank Carson (Hugh Francis ‘Frank’ Carson (1926 - 2012))
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Shoes called sneakers were first produced in about 1800. They had a simple rubber sole design, with the name ‘sneaker’ coming from the fact that their soles are so smooth and yielding that they hardly make a sound on the ground.
Hubert: What kind of shoes do detectives wear?
Hugh: Sneakers!
Another name for a detective is a ‘gumshoe,’ because detectives have traditionally worn soft-soled shoes.
If the shoe fits, buy it.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pear.
Pear, who?
Pear of shoes!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Knock-Knock Jokes Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“I actually have more shoes than anyone will ever know.” -Tamara Mellon
Shoestring: What every self-made businessperson claims to have built their business on.
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You can tell a lot about a person’s character by the shoes he or she wears.
Need money? How about this zany idea: Become a ‘shoe reading’ expert. People come to you, you look at their shoes, you tell them what their shoes reveal about them, and you then advise them on what kind of shoes to buy if they want people to have a different opinion of them based on their shoes. This idea makes a lot more sense than palm reading and other methods of ‘fortune telling.’
Overheard: So many shoes . . . and only two feet!
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“Your shoes are only as good as the laces they’re attached to.” -Greg Sampson
Al: What goes, “Thump, thump, thump, squish! Thump, thump, thump, squish!”?
Fred: An elephant wearing a soggy tennis shoe.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The Eagle And The Elephants By Authors Unknown.
Norma: Why did the shoelaces arrive late at the party?
Nora: Because they got all tied up earlier.
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe . . . rumor has it that it once belonged to a giant who lived at the top of a beanstalk . . . the old woman was ambling along, looking for affordable housing in a safe neighborhood for herself and her children, when all of a sudden, a really big shoe dropped out of the sky. Aren’t fairy tales fun?
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Emma: What is sixty feet long, green, and has two tongues?
Emily: The Jolly Green Giant’s sneakers!
If the shoe fits, buy the store.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Indifference And Enthusiasm Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“It doesn’t matter how great your shoes are if you don’t accomplish anything in them.” -Martina Boon
“I stand corrected!” said the man in the orthopedic shoes.
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“Shoes transform your body language and attitude. They lift you physically and emotionally.” -Christian Louboutin
I was not made of common calf,
Nor ever meant for country loon;
If with an axe I seem cut out,
The workman was no cobbling clown;
A good jack boot with double sole he made,
To roam the woods, or through the rivers wade.
-Giuseppe Giusti: “The Chronicle of the Boot”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Nature And Wildlife Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Shoe store sign: This Week’s Special - Buy One Shoe - Get Second Shoe Free!
The ‘boat shoe’ was invented by Paul Sperry. He modeled the sole of the shoe after his dog’s paw.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Domestic Dogs Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Ernie: What did one shoe say to the other shoe?
Bernie: “You stay here, and I’ll go on ahead to see what’s underfoot.”
“You can never take too much care over the choice of your shoes.” -Christian Dior at https://dior.com/
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Choices And Decisions Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Geoffrey: What has no feet but wears out shoes?
George: A sidewalk.
Wherefore art not in thy shop to-day?
Why dost thou lead these men about the streets?
Truly, sir, to wear out their shoes, to get myself into more work.
-William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Julius Caesar” (1599), Act I, scene 1, line 31
“The shoemaker’s son always goes barefoot.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poverty And Prosperity Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
If the shoe fits, it is too good to be true.
“Shoes divide men into three classes. Some men wear their father’s shoes. They make no decisions of their own. Some are unthinkingly shod by the crowd. The strong man is his own cobbler. He insists on making his own choices. He walks in his own shoes.” -S. D. Gordon (Samuel Dickey Gordon (1859 - 1936))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Personal Destiny Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Hans Grovendraad, an honest clown,
By cobbling in his native town,
Had earned a living ever.
His work was strong and clean and fine,
And none who served at Crispin’s shrine
Was at his trade more clever.
-Jan van Ryswick: “Hans Grovendraad,” as translated from the French by F. W. Ricord
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Clowns And Clowning Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Here’s a great title for a song: “I’ve Got the Squeaky Shoes Blues, Yeah!” Now we just need you to write the lyrics, or words, to go along with the song title.
“Shoes speak louder than words.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read The Spoken Word And Speaking Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Shoes squeak louder than words.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Beaumont’s Quotations By David Hugh Beaumont.
Moses: What kind of shoes are made from banana skins?
Moe: Slippers!
“All of the right shoes can take you to all of the right places in life. They don’t need to be flashy or show-offish, but the right kinds for the right places.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“You have to have the right shoes for the occasion.” -Suzanne Macpherson
“Between saying and doing many a pair of shoes is worn out.” -Author Unknown: Italian proverb
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Actions And Doing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
One way to determine if shoes are a good fit is to wiggle your toes. If the shoes are roomy enough for you to wiggle your toes, that means your toes are less likely to be squeezed together in a space that is too tight for them, at which time they would cry for help the only way they know how, which is by sending pain signals to your brain.
“I played [baseball] in a new pair of shoes one day and they wore big blisters on my feet. The next day we came up short of players, a couple of men hurt and one missing . . . I tried it with my old shoes on and just couldn’t make it. He told me I’d have to play anyway, so I threw away the shoes and went to the outfield in my stockinged feet . . . They picked it up and started calling me Shoeless Joe all around the league, and it stuck. I never played the outfield barefoot, and that was the only day I ever played in my stockinged feet, but it stuck with me.” -Shoeless Joe Jackson: “This is the Truth!” (1949)
“Feet-casements, noun: Boots or shoes: see Trotter-cases.” -John S. Farmer and W. W. Henley: “Slang and Its Analogues: A Dictionary of Heterodox Speech” (1890’s)
If the shoe fits, you have somehow been magically transported to a fairy tale land.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Fairy Tales And Folk Tales Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Customer: Do you have alligator shoes?
Clerk: Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?
“Which shoes are you going to put on, and where are you going to get them to take you today?” -Allan Rufus
Riddle:
I run over fields and woods all day;
Under a bed at night, I wait not alone
With long tongue hanging out,
I will be filled in the morn.
What am I?
Solution:
I am a shoe.
If the shoe fits, you are daydreaming again . . . time to get back to work.
City Slicker: How far is it to Springerville?
Country Bumpkin: Well, I don’t rightly know, but I’ll ask Jethro. He’ll know. Jethro’s traveled all over. He’s got shoes!
“My first thought upon entering any store is, ‘Where are the shoes?’” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Shopping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“If the shoe fits, you’re not allowing for growth.” -Robert N. Coons (Robert Nelson ‘Bob’ Coons (1944 - 2022))
Justin: Those shoes are too big.
Marvin: Have you thought about growing your feet larger?
“Shoes aren’t for sitting petty in, shoes are made for walking in.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Walking And Ambulating Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“All you really need is the right pair of shoes.” -Author Unknown
“To wear dreams on one’s feet is to begin to give a reality to one’s dreams.” -Roger Vivier
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Hopes And Dreams Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Life is a journey. Wear comfortable shoes.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“Put on your shoes and go take on the world.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Inspiration And Motivation Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
We are MFOL! . . . and that’s everything we have cobbled together about shoes . . . What’s that? . . . Our shoes are calling to us . . . seems they want to go out walking . . . maybe we will see you out there . . .
