In winter’s chill,
Or summer’s heat,
Farmers and ranchers work,
So the world can eat.
-Author Unknown
Marvin: Why are barns so noisy?
Martin: All the cows have horns.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Cattle Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“The farmer is the only man in our economy who can turn a barren field into a fertile oasis with nothing but hard work and determination.” -Robert G. Ingersoll (Robert Green ‘Bob’ Ingersoll (1833 - 1899))
Question: How does a farmer count cows?
Answer: With a cow-culator.
“The only thing that endures over time is the ‘Law of the Farm.’ You must prepare the ground, plant the seed, cultivate, and water if you expect to reap the harvest.” -Stephen R. Covey (Stephen Richards Covey (1932 - 2012))
Or summer’s heat,
Farmers and ranchers work,
So the world can eat.
-Author Unknown
Marvin: Why are barns so noisy?
Martin: All the cows have horns.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Cattle Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“The farmer is the only man in our economy who can turn a barren field into a fertile oasis with nothing but hard work and determination.” -Robert G. Ingersoll (Robert Green ‘Bob’ Ingersoll (1833 - 1899))
Question: How does a farmer count cows?
Answer: With a cow-culator.
“The only thing that endures over time is the ‘Law of the Farm.’ You must prepare the ground, plant the seed, cultivate, and water if you expect to reap the harvest.” -Stephen R. Covey (Stephen Richards Covey (1932 - 2012))
The Farmer
Sun is coming up
Farmer’s out the door,
He will go to milk the cows,
And start his daily chores.
Sun is going down
Horse is in the stable,
All the fields are planted now,
Supper’s on the table.
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Today And The Present Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Sun is coming up
Farmer’s out the door,
He will go to milk the cows,
And start his daily chores.
Sun is going down
Horse is in the stable,
All the fields are planted now,
Supper’s on the table.
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Today And The Present Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“My grandfather used to say that once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman and a preacher, but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer.” -Brenda Schoepp
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Mealtimes And Eating Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Farms And Farming Facts
- Most of the plants and animals on farms are ‘domesticated’ rather than wild or natural.
- Domesticated plants and animals are ones that have been developed with specific traits in mind, such as rapid growth, hardiness, and high yield.
- Many different types of farms exist, including family farms, corporate farms, pig farms, fish farms, dairy farms . . . and for those with limited space, ant farms.
What farms and farming facts do you know?
Joey: How do you spell farm?
Jody: ‘E-I-E-I-O’!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Word Spellings Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“And he gave it for his opinion, that whosoever could make two ears of corn or two blades of grass to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together.” -Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745): “Gulliver’s Travels” (1726), ‘Voyage to Brobdingnag,’ Chapter 6
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Mealtimes And Eating Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Farms And Farming Facts
- Most of the plants and animals on farms are ‘domesticated’ rather than wild or natural.
- Domesticated plants and animals are ones that have been developed with specific traits in mind, such as rapid growth, hardiness, and high yield.
- Many different types of farms exist, including family farms, corporate farms, pig farms, fish farms, dairy farms . . . and for those with limited space, ant farms.
What farms and farming facts do you know?
Joey: How do you spell farm?
Jody: ‘E-I-E-I-O’!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Word Spellings Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“And he gave it for his opinion, that whosoever could make two ears of corn or two blades of grass to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together.” -Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745): “Gulliver’s Travels” (1726), ‘Voyage to Brobdingnag,’ Chapter 6
A man owned a small farm. The Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent a social security agent to interview him. “You just give me a list of your employees and tell me how much you pay them.” “All right,” said the farmer. “I have a hired man. Been with me for three years. I pay him $400 a week, plus room and board. I have a cook. She’s been here six months. She gets $300 a week plus room and board.” “Anybody else?” asked the agent as he scribbled on a note pad. “Yeah,” the farmer said. “There’s a half-wit here. Works about eighteen hours a day. I pay him five dollars a week and give him a day off once every ten years.” “Aha!” the agent roared. “I want to talk to that man!” “You’re talkin’ to him now,” said the farmer.
“Let us never forget that the cultivation of the earth is the most important labor of man. Man may be civilized, in some degree, without great progress in manufactures and with little commerce with his distant neighbors. But without the cultivation of the earth, he is, in all countries, a savage. Until he gives up the chase, and fixes himself in some place and seeks a living from the earth, he is a roaming barbarian. When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization.” -Daniel Webster (1782 - 1852): “On the Agriculture of England” (13 January 1840), page 457
Pearl: What runs around a farm without moving?
Earl: A fence.
Young man, age 26, with 350 acres of farmland, would like to meet charming, intelligent young lady with tractor. Please send picture of tractor.
Stuff An Experienced Farmer Knows
- After a bad harvest, sow again.
- Fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong.
- Always drink upstream from the herd.
- Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
- An agitated bumblebee is considerably faster than a tractor.
- Rise before the Sun and go to bed when the chickens do.
- Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
- There is talking and there is doing, and it isn’t the talking that gets the work done.
- Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t botherin’ you none.
- Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
What can you add to this list?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Wisdom And Advice Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Agriculture is our wisest pursuit, because it will in the end contribute most to real wealth, good morals, and happiness.” -Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)
After running over a rooster that had been crossing the road, a motorist stopped his car at a nearby farmhouse to find the chicken’s owner. Seeing the farmer, the motorist rushed over to him and said, “I’m very, very sorry. I’ve just run over your rooster, but I want you to know that I’m prepared to replace him.” “Alright,” said the farmer, “let’s hear you crow.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Road Crossings Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“When you have decided to purchase a farm, be careful not to buy rashly; do not spare your visits and be not content with a single tour of inspection. The more you go, the more will the place please you, if it be worth your attention. Give heed to the appearance of the neighborhood - a flourishing country should show its prosperity.” -Marcus Porcius Cato (also known as Cato the Elder (233 B.C.E. - 148 B.C.E.)): “De Agri Cultura” (about 160 B.C.E.), ‘Of buying a farm’
Wally: Why did the farmer not become upset with his wife when she traded their prize milk-cow for a book of poetry?
Walter: Because he had vowed to love her for butter or for verse.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Marriage And Marrying Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Farming isn’t a battle against nature, but a partnership with it. It is respecting the basics of nature in action and ensuring that they continue.” -Jeff Koehler
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Nature And Wildlife Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
An efficient farmer can make use of every part of a pig, even the ears, which can become chew toys for dogs and the feet, which can become pickled pigs’ feet - in fact, a farmer can make good use of every part of a pig - except for the squeal.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Pigs And Hogs Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Let us never forget that the cultivation of the earth is the most important labor of man. Man may be civilized, in some degree, without great progress in manufactures and with little commerce with his distant neighbors. But without the cultivation of the earth, he is, in all countries, a savage. Until he gives up the chase, and fixes himself in some place and seeks a living from the earth, he is a roaming barbarian. When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization.” -Daniel Webster (1782 - 1852): “On the Agriculture of England” (13 January 1840), page 457
Pearl: What runs around a farm without moving?
Earl: A fence.
Young man, age 26, with 350 acres of farmland, would like to meet charming, intelligent young lady with tractor. Please send picture of tractor.
Stuff An Experienced Farmer Knows
- After a bad harvest, sow again.
- Fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong.
- Always drink upstream from the herd.
- Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
- An agitated bumblebee is considerably faster than a tractor.
- Rise before the Sun and go to bed when the chickens do.
- Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
- There is talking and there is doing, and it isn’t the talking that gets the work done.
- Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t botherin’ you none.
- Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
What can you add to this list?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Wisdom And Advice Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Agriculture is our wisest pursuit, because it will in the end contribute most to real wealth, good morals, and happiness.” -Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)
After running over a rooster that had been crossing the road, a motorist stopped his car at a nearby farmhouse to find the chicken’s owner. Seeing the farmer, the motorist rushed over to him and said, “I’m very, very sorry. I’ve just run over your rooster, but I want you to know that I’m prepared to replace him.” “Alright,” said the farmer, “let’s hear you crow.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Road Crossings Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“When you have decided to purchase a farm, be careful not to buy rashly; do not spare your visits and be not content with a single tour of inspection. The more you go, the more will the place please you, if it be worth your attention. Give heed to the appearance of the neighborhood - a flourishing country should show its prosperity.” -Marcus Porcius Cato (also known as Cato the Elder (233 B.C.E. - 148 B.C.E.)): “De Agri Cultura” (about 160 B.C.E.), ‘Of buying a farm’
Wally: Why did the farmer not become upset with his wife when she traded their prize milk-cow for a book of poetry?
Walter: Because he had vowed to love her for butter or for verse.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Marriage And Marrying Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Farming isn’t a battle against nature, but a partnership with it. It is respecting the basics of nature in action and ensuring that they continue.” -Jeff Koehler
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Nature And Wildlife Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
An efficient farmer can make use of every part of a pig, even the ears, which can become chew toys for dogs and the feet, which can become pickled pigs’ feet - in fact, a farmer can make good use of every part of a pig - except for the squeal.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Pigs And Hogs Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“It is impossible to have a healthy and sound society without a proper respect for the soil.” -Peter Maurin
“If one plants in the Springtime, one will harvest in the Fall.” -Author Unknown
“If one plants in the Springtime, one will harvest in the Fall.” -Author Unknown
Farm Animal Roll Call
Baa-baa black sheep, have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full.
One for your sweater, and one for your rug . . .
One for your blanket that keeps you warm and snug.
Cluck-cluck red hen, have you any eggs?
Yes sir, yes sir, as many as your legs.
One for your breakfast, and one for your lunch.
Come back tomorrow; I’ll have another bunch.
Moo-moo brown cow, have you milk for me?
Yes sir, yes sir, tasty as can be.
Churn it into butter or make it into cheese.
Freeze it into ice cream or drink it if you please.
Buzz-buzz busy bee, is your honey sweet?
Yes sir, yes sir, sweet enough to eat.
Honey on your muffin and honey on your cake.
Honey by the spoonful as much as I can make.
By Author Unknown
Baa-baa black sheep, have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full.
One for your sweater, and one for your rug . . .
One for your blanket that keeps you warm and snug.
Cluck-cluck red hen, have you any eggs?
Yes sir, yes sir, as many as your legs.
One for your breakfast, and one for your lunch.
Come back tomorrow; I’ll have another bunch.
Moo-moo brown cow, have you milk for me?
Yes sir, yes sir, tasty as can be.
Churn it into butter or make it into cheese.
Freeze it into ice cream or drink it if you please.
Buzz-buzz busy bee, is your honey sweet?
Yes sir, yes sir, sweet enough to eat.
Honey on your muffin and honey on your cake.
Honey by the spoonful as much as I can make.
By Author Unknown
A farmer who was much troubled by trespassers during the nutting season consulted his botanical friend. The botanist furnished him with the technical name of the hazelnut, and the farmer placed the following notice at conspicuous points: Trespassers Take Warning! All Persons Entering This Wood Do So At Their Own Risk, For Although Common Snakes Are Not Found, The Corylus Avellana Abounds Everywhere, And Never Gives Warning Of Its Presence. The place was undisturbed after that, and the farmer gathered his crops of hazelnuts in peace.
“Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you’re a thousand miles from a cornfield.” -Dwight D. Eisenhower (Dwight David ‘Ike’ Eisenhower (1890 - 1969))
“And so we plow along, as the fly said to the ox.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)
“Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you’re a thousand miles from a cornfield.” -Dwight D. Eisenhower (Dwight David ‘Ike’ Eisenhower (1890 - 1969))
“And so we plow along, as the fly said to the ox.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)
All Around The Barnyard
All around the barnyard
The animals are fast asleep.
Sleeping cows and horses,
Sleeping pigs and sheep.
Here comes the cocky rooster,
To sound his daily alarm.
“Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Wake up, sleepy farm!”
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Sleep And Sleeping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
All around the barnyard
The animals are fast asleep.
Sleeping cows and horses,
Sleeping pigs and sheep.
Here comes the cocky rooster,
To sound his daily alarm.
“Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Wake up, sleepy farm!”
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Sleep And Sleeping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you haven’t planted.” -David Bly
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Impossible And Possible Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Marty: Why did the farmer plough his field with a steamroller?
Martha: Because he wanted to grow mashed potatoes.
“It is a rule of nature that taking a day off on a farm sets a person back at least a week.” -Jane Hamilton: “A Map of the World” (1994), Chapter Eleven
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Time Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Cybil: What is the best kind of beans to raise on a farm?
Tyrone: Jellybeans!
Barry: If a farmer raises wheat in dry weather, what does he raise in wet weather?
Manny: An umbrella.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Umbrellas And Parasols Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“What do you raise on this farm?” the big-city lawyer asked. “Cotton, corn, lima beans, and other things,” the farmer answered. “It must keep you pretty busy. What time do you go to work in the morning?” asked the lawyer. “I don’t go to work,” the farmer said. “I wake up surrounded by it.”
Chuck: What is green and yellow, ploughs fields, harvests corn, and pulls a trailer load of hay?
Hank: A John Deere tractor!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Impossible And Possible Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Marty: Why did the farmer plough his field with a steamroller?
Martha: Because he wanted to grow mashed potatoes.
“It is a rule of nature that taking a day off on a farm sets a person back at least a week.” -Jane Hamilton: “A Map of the World” (1994), Chapter Eleven
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Time Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Cybil: What is the best kind of beans to raise on a farm?
Tyrone: Jellybeans!
Barry: If a farmer raises wheat in dry weather, what does he raise in wet weather?
Manny: An umbrella.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Umbrellas And Parasols Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“What do you raise on this farm?” the big-city lawyer asked. “Cotton, corn, lima beans, and other things,” the farmer answered. “It must keep you pretty busy. What time do you go to work in the morning?” asked the lawyer. “I don’t go to work,” the farmer said. “I wake up surrounded by it.”
Chuck: What is green and yellow, ploughs fields, harvests corn, and pulls a trailer load of hay?
Hank: A John Deere tractor!
Pinky: What has five fingers and drives a tractor?
Thumb: A farm hand.
To The Farm!
Horses, donkeys, cows that moo,
Chickens, kittens, piglets too,
Fish that swim down in the pond,
Ducklings quacking all day long.
All these animals you can see
If you go to the farm with me!
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poetic Epigrams Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
When you visit the John Deere Company website at www.Deere.com to see their lineup of tractors, mowers, earthmovers, and other equipment, please be sure to tell them you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.
Thumb: A farm hand.
To The Farm!
Horses, donkeys, cows that moo,
Chickens, kittens, piglets too,
Fish that swim down in the pond,
Ducklings quacking all day long.
All these animals you can see
If you go to the farm with me!
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poetic Epigrams Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
When you visit the John Deere Company website at www.Deere.com to see their lineup of tractors, mowers, earthmovers, and other equipment, please be sure to tell them you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.
We’re Going To The Farm
We’re going to the farm . . .
We’ll see the chickens and the ducks,
We’ll hear the quacks and all the clucks!
We’ll ride a big tractor, and feed a tall horse,
But the best will be the goats, of course!!!
By Hilary Martin
We’re going to the farm . . .
We’ll see the chickens and the ducks,
We’ll hear the quacks and all the clucks!
We’ll ride a big tractor, and feed a tall horse,
But the best will be the goats, of course!!!
By Hilary Martin
“To own a bit of ground, to scratch it with a hoe, to plant seeds, and watch the renewal of life - this is the commonest delight of the race, the most satisfactory thing a man can do.” -Charles Dudley Warner (1829 - 1900)
A farmer’s son was returning home from the chicken show at the county fair, with a crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the crate fell off the cart and broke open. Chickens scurried off in all different directions, but the determined boy walked through the neighborhood, scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy returned home, expecting the worst. “Pa, the chickens got loose,” the boy confessed sadly, “but I managed to find all twelve of them.” “Well, you did real well, son,” the farmer beamed. “You left with seven.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Numbers And Counting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
A farmer was counting his cows when they were all out grazing in the field. He counted 196, but when he ‘rounded them up,’ he had 200.
The Giving Farm
Hens give eggs.
Pigs give ham.
Cows give milk.
Strawberries give jam.
Bees give honey.
Goats give cheese.
Farms give food,
I’d like some, please.
By Vicki Witcher
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Charitable Giving And Helping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Agriculture is the earliest and most honorable of arts.” -Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712 - 1778)
A farmer’s son was returning home from the chicken show at the county fair, with a crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the crate fell off the cart and broke open. Chickens scurried off in all different directions, but the determined boy walked through the neighborhood, scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy returned home, expecting the worst. “Pa, the chickens got loose,” the boy confessed sadly, “but I managed to find all twelve of them.” “Well, you did real well, son,” the farmer beamed. “You left with seven.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Numbers And Counting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
A farmer was counting his cows when they were all out grazing in the field. He counted 196, but when he ‘rounded them up,’ he had 200.
The Giving Farm
Hens give eggs.
Pigs give ham.
Cows give milk.
Strawberries give jam.
Bees give honey.
Goats give cheese.
Farms give food,
I’d like some, please.
By Vicki Witcher
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Charitable Giving And Helping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Agriculture is the earliest and most honorable of arts.” -Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712 - 1778)
“Farmers rank above politicians and lawyers for the contributions made to people’s lives and nations’ existences.” -Author Unknown
A magical tractor was driving down the road - and it turned into a field!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Magic And Illusion Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“My father asserted that there was no better place to bring up a family than in a rural environment . . . There’s something about getting up at 5 a.m., feeding the stock and chickens, and milking a couple of cows before breakfast that gives you a lifelong respect for the price of butter and eggs.” -Burton Hillis (pseudonym of William Edward ‘Bill’ Vaughan (1915 - 1977))
We plough the fields and scatter
The good seeds on the land,
But it is fed and watered
By God’s almighty hand.
-Jane Montgomery Campbell (1817 - 1878): “We Plough the Fields, and Scatter” (1861) hymn
“The discovery of agriculture was the first big step toward a civilized life.” -Arthur Keith
“The farmers are the founders of civilization.” -Daniel Webster (1782 - 1852)
Jacob: Why was the farmer surprised when he found cucumbers growing out of his ears?
Jake: Because he had planted carrots.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Carrots Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Even if a farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start.” -Edgar W. Howe (Edgar Watson ‘Ed’ Howe, also known as E. W. Howe (1853 - 1937)): as quoted in Herbert V. Prochnow and Herbert V. Prochnow, Junior, editors: “A Treasury of Humorous Quotations” (1969)
“He who works his land will have abundant food.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Proverbs,’ chapter 12, verse 11
“Those too lazy to plow in the right season will have no food at the harvest.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Proverbs,’ chapter 20, verse 4
“No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind.” -George E. Woodbury (George Edward Woodbury (1855 - 1930))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Actions And Doing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Gilbert: What does a farmer grow if he works very hard?
Herbert: Tired.
“You must plow with such Oxen as you have.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs, Wise Sentences, and Witty Sayings” (1732), number 5968
“When the Sun shineth*, make hay.” -John Heywood (1497 - 1580): “A Dialogue of Proverbs” (1546)
*shineth: archaic form of ‘shines.’
“It is thus with farming: if you do one thing late, you will be late in all your work.” -Cato the Elder (Marcus Porcius Cato (233 B.C.E. - 148 B.C.E.))
“We must plant the sea and herd its animals . . . using the sea as farmers instead of hunters. That is what civilization is all about - farming replacing hunting.” -Jacques Cousteau (Jacques-Yves-Cousteau (1910 - 1997)): interview (17 July 1971), as quoted in Elizabeth Brubaker et al.: “Breath of Fresh Air” (2008), page 180
A magical tractor was driving down the road - and it turned into a field!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Magic And Illusion Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“My father asserted that there was no better place to bring up a family than in a rural environment . . . There’s something about getting up at 5 a.m., feeding the stock and chickens, and milking a couple of cows before breakfast that gives you a lifelong respect for the price of butter and eggs.” -Burton Hillis (pseudonym of William Edward ‘Bill’ Vaughan (1915 - 1977))
We plough the fields and scatter
The good seeds on the land,
But it is fed and watered
By God’s almighty hand.
-Jane Montgomery Campbell (1817 - 1878): “We Plough the Fields, and Scatter” (1861) hymn
“The discovery of agriculture was the first big step toward a civilized life.” -Arthur Keith
“The farmers are the founders of civilization.” -Daniel Webster (1782 - 1852)
Jacob: Why was the farmer surprised when he found cucumbers growing out of his ears?
Jake: Because he had planted carrots.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Carrots Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Even if a farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start.” -Edgar W. Howe (Edgar Watson ‘Ed’ Howe, also known as E. W. Howe (1853 - 1937)): as quoted in Herbert V. Prochnow and Herbert V. Prochnow, Junior, editors: “A Treasury of Humorous Quotations” (1969)
“He who works his land will have abundant food.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Proverbs,’ chapter 12, verse 11
“Those too lazy to plow in the right season will have no food at the harvest.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Proverbs,’ chapter 20, verse 4
“No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind.” -George E. Woodbury (George Edward Woodbury (1855 - 1930))
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Actions And Doing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Gilbert: What does a farmer grow if he works very hard?
Herbert: Tired.
“You must plow with such Oxen as you have.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs, Wise Sentences, and Witty Sayings” (1732), number 5968
“When the Sun shineth*, make hay.” -John Heywood (1497 - 1580): “A Dialogue of Proverbs” (1546)
*shineth: archaic form of ‘shines.’
“It is thus with farming: if you do one thing late, you will be late in all your work.” -Cato the Elder (Marcus Porcius Cato (233 B.C.E. - 148 B.C.E.))
“We must plant the sea and herd its animals . . . using the sea as farmers instead of hunters. That is what civilization is all about - farming replacing hunting.” -Jacques Cousteau (Jacques-Yves-Cousteau (1910 - 1997)): interview (17 July 1971), as quoted in Elizabeth Brubaker et al.: “Breath of Fresh Air” (2008), page 180
Farmyard
Little hen
feathered and red
pecking round for scraps of bread.
Little goat
fierce and white
thinks his rope is much too tight.
Little calf
soft and shy
peeking out with one brown eye.
Little cat
black and lean
crouching so he won’t be seen.
Little pig
muddy and stout
trying hard to wriggle out.
By Gail Gregory
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poems And Poetry Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Little hen
feathered and red
pecking round for scraps of bread.
Little goat
fierce and white
thinks his rope is much too tight.
Little calf
soft and shy
peeking out with one brown eye.
Little cat
black and lean
crouching so he won’t be seen.
Little pig
muddy and stout
trying hard to wriggle out.
By Gail Gregory
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poems And Poetry Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Math Problem: If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in another field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in the center field?
Solution: One, because if the farmer combines all of the separate haystacks, they all become one big haystack.
Give fools their gold, and knaves their power;
Let fortune’s bubbles rise and fall;
Who sows a field, or trains a flower,
Or plants a tree, is more than all.
-John Greenleaf Whittier (1807 - 1892): “A Song of Harvest” (1858)
“To be a farmer is to be a student forever, for each day brings something new.” -John Connell
We are MFOL! . . . well, the farmers are plain tuckered out from all this silliness. It is time to hit the sack so we can be up before the Sun to milk the chickens and see if the cows laid any eggs. Oink! Moo! Baa! Goodnight, all!
Solution: One, because if the farmer combines all of the separate haystacks, they all become one big haystack.
Give fools their gold, and knaves their power;
Let fortune’s bubbles rise and fall;
Who sows a field, or trains a flower,
Or plants a tree, is more than all.
-John Greenleaf Whittier (1807 - 1892): “A Song of Harvest” (1858)
“To be a farmer is to be a student forever, for each day brings something new.” -John Connell
We are MFOL! . . . well, the farmers are plain tuckered out from all this silliness. It is time to hit the sack so we can be up before the Sun to milk the chickens and see if the cows laid any eggs. Oink! Moo! Baa! Goodnight, all!
