There is no such thing as ghosts . . . there is no such thing as ghosts . . . there are no such things as ghosts . . . aa-aaa-aaaah-aaa-aa! It’s a ghost! Run! Run! Run!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Horror Stories Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Overheard: During the day, I do not believe in ghosts, but at night, I am a little more open-minded!
“I just show up. Whether people are scared or not, that’s their choice.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966): “On Being a Ghost”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Beaumont’s Quotations By David Hugh Beaumont.
Edith: What should you do when you see a ghost?
Edwin: Hope the ghost does not see you!
“If one door closes and another one opens, your house is probably haunted.” -Author Unknown: parody of a quotation by Helen Keller
Flora: How does a ghost unlock a door?
Fauna: It uses a spoo-key.
Melba: When do ghost cows appear?
Colby: During a full Moo-oo-oon!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Cattle Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“The house ghost is usually a harmless and well-meaning creature. It is put up with as long as possible. It brings good luck to those who live with it.” -William Butler Yeats (1865 - 1939): “The Celtic Twilight” (1902), page 32
Horace: When do ghosts usually appear?
Horatio: Just before someone screams.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Time Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Questionable Ghosts and Apparitions Facts
- Ghosts seem to want to be noticed.
- When a ghost is present, people may feel a chill or a cold sensation.
- Ghosts may appear as mists or vapors.
- Ghosts can make clearly audible sounds as well as very faint, barely discernable sounds.
- Other words for ghost include apparition, disembodied soul, phantom, and spirit.
- Ghosts, just as with people, come in many different types: good, bad, friendly, humorless, mischievous, unfriendly, polite, rude, and so forth.
- Most ghosts cannot hurt people; however, people can injure themselves if they panic and hurry to get away from them.
- Ghosts sometimes hang out in groups with other ghosts.
- Ghosts make friends with other ghosts from different eras.
- Ghosts that lived hundreds of years ago can keep up with recent trends.
- A ghost is behind you right now - just kidding!
Elaine: Why did the ghost cross the road?
Eileen: To get to the other side - the spirit side!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Road Crossings Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Spirits can become more active at night, possibly due to reduced electronic disturbances from appliances and other devices, which compete with or drown out ghostly apparitions. For this reason, you are more likely to sense ghostly presences when televisions and washing machines are not in use and your house is quiet.
Bertie: Where do ghosts get their mail?
Gertie: At the ghost office.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Mail And Post Offices Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Ghosts appear in four of William Shakespeare’s plays: “Julius Caesar,” “Richard III,” “Hamlet,” and “Macbeth.”
Carla: What did the little ghost order at the restaurant?
Marla: Spookghetti.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Pastas Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, then why do they not fall through floors?
Chuck: What is a ghosts favorite dessert?
Berry: Boo-berry pie.
Little Ghost
I saw a little ghost.
He saw me, too.
I said, “Hi!”
And he said, “Boo!”
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Meeting And Parting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Phasmophobia is a persistent fear of ghosts or of phantoms. People with the phobia may fear going into empty houses or dark spaces, react with alarm to strange and unexplained noises, and have a strong opposition to watching ghost movies. ‘Phasmo’ is Greek for ‘apparition’ or ‘phantom’ and ‘phobia’ is Greek for ‘fear.’ Phasmophobia is also referred to as spectrophobia.
Clarence: What do ghosts put on their bagels?
Terrance: Scream cheese!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Cheese Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Eventually scientists will discover something that explains ghosts, just like they discovered electricity, which explained lightning, and it might be something about people’s brains, or something about the Earth’s magnetic field, or it might be some new force altogether. And then ghosts won’t be mysteries. They will be like electricity and rainbows and nonstick frying pans.” -Mark Haddon (born 1962)
Tables Turned
The ghost of bold Ned Kelly
came to haunt my Auntie Nellie,
but when it saw her in the light
it was the ghost that got the fright.
By Michael Dugan (1947 - 2006)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Appearances And Looks Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Danielle: What do ghosts like for dessert?
Daniel: I-scream!
Michelle: What do ghosts like on top of their I-scream?
Marcel: Whipped scream and boo-scaries!
Marilyn: What kind of necktie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
Monroe: A boo-tie.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Attire And Accessories Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Horror Stories Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Overheard: During the day, I do not believe in ghosts, but at night, I am a little more open-minded!
“I just show up. Whether people are scared or not, that’s their choice.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966): “On Being a Ghost”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Beaumont’s Quotations By David Hugh Beaumont.
Edith: What should you do when you see a ghost?
Edwin: Hope the ghost does not see you!
“If one door closes and another one opens, your house is probably haunted.” -Author Unknown: parody of a quotation by Helen Keller
Flora: How does a ghost unlock a door?
Fauna: It uses a spoo-key.
Melba: When do ghost cows appear?
Colby: During a full Moo-oo-oon!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Cattle Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“The house ghost is usually a harmless and well-meaning creature. It is put up with as long as possible. It brings good luck to those who live with it.” -William Butler Yeats (1865 - 1939): “The Celtic Twilight” (1902), page 32
Horace: When do ghosts usually appear?
Horatio: Just before someone screams.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Time Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Questionable Ghosts and Apparitions Facts
- Ghosts seem to want to be noticed.
- When a ghost is present, people may feel a chill or a cold sensation.
- Ghosts may appear as mists or vapors.
- Ghosts can make clearly audible sounds as well as very faint, barely discernable sounds.
- Other words for ghost include apparition, disembodied soul, phantom, and spirit.
- Ghosts, just as with people, come in many different types: good, bad, friendly, humorless, mischievous, unfriendly, polite, rude, and so forth.
- Most ghosts cannot hurt people; however, people can injure themselves if they panic and hurry to get away from them.
- Ghosts sometimes hang out in groups with other ghosts.
- Ghosts make friends with other ghosts from different eras.
- Ghosts that lived hundreds of years ago can keep up with recent trends.
- A ghost is behind you right now - just kidding!
Elaine: Why did the ghost cross the road?
Eileen: To get to the other side - the spirit side!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Road Crossings Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Spirits can become more active at night, possibly due to reduced electronic disturbances from appliances and other devices, which compete with or drown out ghostly apparitions. For this reason, you are more likely to sense ghostly presences when televisions and washing machines are not in use and your house is quiet.
Bertie: Where do ghosts get their mail?
Gertie: At the ghost office.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Mail And Post Offices Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Ghosts appear in four of William Shakespeare’s plays: “Julius Caesar,” “Richard III,” “Hamlet,” and “Macbeth.”
Carla: What did the little ghost order at the restaurant?
Marla: Spookghetti.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Pastas Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, then why do they not fall through floors?
Chuck: What is a ghosts favorite dessert?
Berry: Boo-berry pie.
Little Ghost
I saw a little ghost.
He saw me, too.
I said, “Hi!”
And he said, “Boo!”
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Meeting And Parting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Phasmophobia is a persistent fear of ghosts or of phantoms. People with the phobia may fear going into empty houses or dark spaces, react with alarm to strange and unexplained noises, and have a strong opposition to watching ghost movies. ‘Phasmo’ is Greek for ‘apparition’ or ‘phantom’ and ‘phobia’ is Greek for ‘fear.’ Phasmophobia is also referred to as spectrophobia.
Clarence: What do ghosts put on their bagels?
Terrance: Scream cheese!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Cheese Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Eventually scientists will discover something that explains ghosts, just like they discovered electricity, which explained lightning, and it might be something about people’s brains, or something about the Earth’s magnetic field, or it might be some new force altogether. And then ghosts won’t be mysteries. They will be like electricity and rainbows and nonstick frying pans.” -Mark Haddon (born 1962)
Tables Turned
The ghost of bold Ned Kelly
came to haunt my Auntie Nellie,
but when it saw her in the light
it was the ghost that got the fright.
By Michael Dugan (1947 - 2006)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Appearances And Looks Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Danielle: What do ghosts like for dessert?
Daniel: I-scream!
Michelle: What do ghosts like on top of their I-scream?
Marcel: Whipped scream and boo-scaries!
Marilyn: What kind of necktie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
Monroe: A boo-tie.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Attire And Accessories Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Don’t be frightened, because underneath the bedsheets, there are probably just some . . . terrifying ghosts . . . run . . . wait, don’t run, walk, so that you don’t trip and fall!
“I was terrified of ghosts when I was little, so my mom told me I could vacuum them up, and made me clean the house, telling me I was getting rid of them.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Housekeeping And Housecleaning Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Al: What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Lex: Boo-berries.
Have you ever heard your name spoken when no one is around? It could be that a ghost is trying to get your attention . . . spooky!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Freighter.
Freighter, who?
Freighter ghosts, are you?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Ships And Sailors Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Ghosts are said to leave behind certain scents, such as that of perfume, and to like the smell of lemons.
Ghosts are said to have a sense of humor and to love to hear humans laugh.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Laughter And Laughing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Rachelle: What is cold, see-through, and says, ‘Boo?’
Raquel: A ghost!
Animals seem to be able to sense ghosts or spirits, and that is why they may sometimes be seen staring intensely at what appears to be nothing, perhaps even showing signs of being ‘spooked,’ such as barking, hissing, whimpering, moving erratically, or acting frightened of something undetected by human senses.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Animals And Animal Natures Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Bob: Do ghosts make good pets?
Rob: Only if they are housebroken.
Children are more likely to see ghosts than adults are, and children may perceive ghosts as being their ‘imaginary friends.’
Rob: What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Roy: Answer: Boo-boos.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Mistakes And Errors Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
A noisy, troublesome ghost is known as a ’poltergeist,’ a word derived from the German words ‘poltern’ meaning to ‘create a disturbance’ and ‘geist’ meaning ‘ghost.’ These entities are pranksters who use their ghostly energies to move things and make noises. For example, they can cause objects to levitate, or make sounds such as door-knocking and chain-rattling.
Ghosts seem to be more active at night and in dark places, possibly because it takes less effort for them to manifest, or appear, in those conditions.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Efforts And Benefits Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Rebecca: Where does a ghost go on vacation?
Barbara: Mali-boo.
Wendell: What is the first thing a ghost does when she gets into a car?
Kendall: She boo-ckles her seatbelt.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Vehicles And Driving Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Ghosts like to climb up and down stairs and walk in hallways. Perhaps they can only manifest themselves in the physical world by motion or exertion (effort).
Ghost: I hear you have a new ghoul friend.
Vampire: Yes, it was love at first fright.
Ghost: It’s no wonder. She’s so boo-tiful.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Love Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) may have postulated a scientific basis for the existence of ghosts. Since energy cannot be created or destroyed, but can only change form, could life-force energy manifest in ghostly form beyond a physical life?
Nellie: Why did the mommy ghost take her ghost child to the doctor?
Kelly: She was worried because he was in such good spirits.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Doctors And Health Practitioners Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Oscar: Why did the game warden ticket the ghost?
Carla: He was haunting without a license.
“So that’s the ghost you’ve been running from.” -Nicholas Sparks (Nicholas Charles Sparks (born 1965)): “The Notebook” (1996) at https://nicholassparks.com/
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Overcoming Fears And Becoming Courageous Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Ghost, noun: The outward and visible sign of an inward fear.” -Ambrose Bierce (Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (1842 - 1914)): “The Cynic's Dictionary” (1906); later republished as “The Devil's Dictionary” (1911)
Three Little Ghosts
Three little ghosts on Halloween night
Saw a witch and shrieked in fright
The witch just laughed and shouted, “Boo!”
One ghost ran home and then there were two.
Two little ghosts who shiver and shook
With every single step they took.
When the door opened wide
One little ghost said to the other . . .
I’m going home and stay with my mother.
One little ghost can’t have much fun,
so he ran home, and then there were none.
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poems And Poetry Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Gail: I have never seen a ghost.
Mel: They’re pretty picky about who they choose to haunt.
Pat: What did the ghost say to the flying reindeer?
Rick: “I’d have a boo Christmas without you.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of this article, or click or tap on these words to visit the Christmas Page.
“Those who believe in ghosts always see them.” -Charles V. Roman
Ghosts are often protective of the places they haunt, and may even jealously guard the individuals and families in those places - if they are not trying to drive them away.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Charitable Giving And Helping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Shelia: What sport is popular with ghosts?
Ophelia: Shadow boxing.
“Some perceived hauntings may in fact be ‘residual occurrences,’ or past events that replay themselves over and over, like the echoes of a sound or the ripples made by a disturbance in a pond. History very much tends to repeat itself in this kind of scenario. History very much tends to repeat itself in this kind of scenario. History very much tends to repeat itself in this kind of scenario.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read History Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Ghosts
glide across the
golden grass gathering
goblins and grabbing
grasshoppers.
They giggle and glide
above
the ground.
-Author Unknown
Meredith: What did the mother ghost tell her baby ghost at the dinner table?
Merry: “No goblin the food.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Mealtimes And Eating Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“I was terrified of ghosts when I was little, so my mom told me I could vacuum them up, and made me clean the house, telling me I was getting rid of them.” -Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Housekeeping And Housecleaning Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Al: What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Lex: Boo-berries.
Have you ever heard your name spoken when no one is around? It could be that a ghost is trying to get your attention . . . spooky!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Freighter.
Freighter, who?
Freighter ghosts, are you?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Ships And Sailors Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Ghosts are said to leave behind certain scents, such as that of perfume, and to like the smell of lemons.
Ghosts are said to have a sense of humor and to love to hear humans laugh.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Laughter And Laughing Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Rachelle: What is cold, see-through, and says, ‘Boo?’
Raquel: A ghost!
Animals seem to be able to sense ghosts or spirits, and that is why they may sometimes be seen staring intensely at what appears to be nothing, perhaps even showing signs of being ‘spooked,’ such as barking, hissing, whimpering, moving erratically, or acting frightened of something undetected by human senses.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Animals And Animal Natures Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Bob: Do ghosts make good pets?
Rob: Only if they are housebroken.
Children are more likely to see ghosts than adults are, and children may perceive ghosts as being their ‘imaginary friends.’
Rob: What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Roy: Answer: Boo-boos.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Mistakes And Errors Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
A noisy, troublesome ghost is known as a ’poltergeist,’ a word derived from the German words ‘poltern’ meaning to ‘create a disturbance’ and ‘geist’ meaning ‘ghost.’ These entities are pranksters who use their ghostly energies to move things and make noises. For example, they can cause objects to levitate, or make sounds such as door-knocking and chain-rattling.
Ghosts seem to be more active at night and in dark places, possibly because it takes less effort for them to manifest, or appear, in those conditions.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Efforts And Benefits Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Rebecca: Where does a ghost go on vacation?
Barbara: Mali-boo.
Wendell: What is the first thing a ghost does when she gets into a car?
Kendall: She boo-ckles her seatbelt.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Vehicles And Driving Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Ghosts like to climb up and down stairs and walk in hallways. Perhaps they can only manifest themselves in the physical world by motion or exertion (effort).
Ghost: I hear you have a new ghoul friend.
Vampire: Yes, it was love at first fright.
Ghost: It’s no wonder. She’s so boo-tiful.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Love Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) may have postulated a scientific basis for the existence of ghosts. Since energy cannot be created or destroyed, but can only change form, could life-force energy manifest in ghostly form beyond a physical life?
Nellie: Why did the mommy ghost take her ghost child to the doctor?
Kelly: She was worried because he was in such good spirits.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Doctors And Health Practitioners Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Oscar: Why did the game warden ticket the ghost?
Carla: He was haunting without a license.
“So that’s the ghost you’ve been running from.” -Nicholas Sparks (Nicholas Charles Sparks (born 1965)): “The Notebook” (1996) at https://nicholassparks.com/
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Overcoming Fears And Becoming Courageous Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“Ghost, noun: The outward and visible sign of an inward fear.” -Ambrose Bierce (Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (1842 - 1914)): “The Cynic's Dictionary” (1906); later republished as “The Devil's Dictionary” (1911)
Three Little Ghosts
Three little ghosts on Halloween night
Saw a witch and shrieked in fright
The witch just laughed and shouted, “Boo!”
One ghost ran home and then there were two.
Two little ghosts who shiver and shook
With every single step they took.
When the door opened wide
One little ghost said to the other . . .
I’m going home and stay with my mother.
One little ghost can’t have much fun,
so he ran home, and then there were none.
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Poems And Poetry Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Gail: I have never seen a ghost.
Mel: They’re pretty picky about who they choose to haunt.
Pat: What did the ghost say to the flying reindeer?
Rick: “I’d have a boo Christmas without you.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of this article, or click or tap on these words to visit the Christmas Page.
“Those who believe in ghosts always see them.” -Charles V. Roman
Ghosts are often protective of the places they haunt, and may even jealously guard the individuals and families in those places - if they are not trying to drive them away.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Charitable Giving And Helping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Shelia: What sport is popular with ghosts?
Ophelia: Shadow boxing.
“Some perceived hauntings may in fact be ‘residual occurrences,’ or past events that replay themselves over and over, like the echoes of a sound or the ripples made by a disturbance in a pond. History very much tends to repeat itself in this kind of scenario. History very much tends to repeat itself in this kind of scenario. History very much tends to repeat itself in this kind of scenario.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read History Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Ghosts
glide across the
golden grass gathering
goblins and grabbing
grasshoppers.
They giggle and glide
above
the ground.
-Author Unknown
Meredith: What did the mother ghost tell her baby ghost at the dinner table?
Merry: “No goblin the food.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Mealtimes And Eating Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Ghosts And Apparitions Quiz
- What does a ghost look like?
- Have you ever seen a ghost?
- Have you ever heard a ghost?
- Have you ever felt the presence of a ghost?
- Is it harmful to believe in ghosts?
- Do plants have ghosts?
- Do animals have ghosts?
- Do you know any ghost stories?
- Would a ghost make a good pet or friend?
- What should you do if you see a ghost?
Some ghosts never sleep, so if you hear a strange whisper in your ear while you are sleeping, it may be a ghost.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of this article, or click or tap on these words to visit the Sleep Page.
Earl: Where do parent ghosts send their little girls?
Pearl: To all-ghouls schools.
Ghosts often do not seem to know that they are not living persons. They may even exist in a permanent state of confusion, almost as if they are imprisoned in a dream from which they cannot awaken. Many ghosts are happy, but some appear to be experiencing emotional pain. Some ghosts retain all of the memories and emotions of being alive, while other ghosts seem to have forgotten everything, as though in a state of amnesia.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Memory And Memories Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Amber: Why did the ghost cross the road?
Cole: It was a poultry-gheist.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A ghost boo.
A ghost boo, who?
I’m sorry, please don’t cry, I didn’t mean to scare you.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Knock-Knock Jokes Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Ronald: What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
Donald: “Do you believe in people?”
Erma: What does a mother ghost say to her child when they get into the car?
Ernie: “Fasten your sheet-belt!”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Parenthood And Parenting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Elmer: What goes, “Boo, putty, putty, putty, boo, putty, putty, putty”?
Marla: A ghost replacing a broken window.
If you like having a ghost around, say something nice to it, like: “You are really spooktacular and truly great at haunting.” If you find being haunted bothersome, simply ask the ghost to leave, as they often will do just as they are asked. Say something like, “I know you are here but you are scaring me, please leave.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Manners And Etiquette Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Jenny: What happens when a ghost disappears into the fog?
Lenny: He is mist.
Penny: What haunts your house and clucks?
Henny: A poultry-gheist!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Chickens Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Cece: What does a haunted house not need?
Bebe: A living room.
Bella: Do all ghosts live in haunted houses?
Stella: No, some ghosts live inside clothes dryers, and steal people’s socks just for fun!
Bella: Aaaahhhh!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Socks And Stockings Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Helen: What is a little ghost’s favorite game?
Ellen: Hide-and-Shriek.
During American Woodrow Wilson’s presidency, his wife Edith Wilson ordered the gardeners to dig up Dolly Madison’s prized rose garden. It is said that Dolly Madison’s spirit showed up and put such a fear of ghosts into the workmen that they fled without turning over a single shovel-full of the soil. The garden still continues to bloom, having been in place for about two centuries now.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Gardens And Gardening Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Igor: What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?
Victoria: Mas-scare-a.
Cell phones spook ghosts. According to an expert in England, mobile phones are making ghosts disappear. Tony Cornell, of the Society for Psychical Research, told the British “Sunday Express” newspaper that reports of ghost sightings had begun to decline when mobile phones were first introduced. “Ghost sightings have remained consistent for centuries,” said Cornell, of Cambridge in Eastern England. “But with the introduction of mobile phones fifteen years ago, ghost sightings began to decline to the point where now we are receiving none.” Apparently, paranormal events, which some scientists put down to unusual electrical activity, could be drowned out by the electronic noise produced by phone calls and text messages.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Telephones Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Curby: Why would ghosts not want to lie?
Kelsey: Because you can see right through them.
Todd: What do you get when you cross a ghost and an elephant?
Maude: A great big nothing.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Elephants Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Elva: What is a ghost’s favorite mode of transportation?
Myra: A scareplane.
Millie: Why do ghosts find it difficult to live in haunted houses?
Mildred: Because ghosts are not alive, and therefore cannot ‘live’ anywhere, silly.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Life And Living Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Millions of spiritual creatures walk the Earth
Unseen, both when we wake and when we sleep.
-John Milton (1608 - 1674): “Paradise Lost” (1667), lines 677 and 678
Green Ghost: I am really excited, because I just got a new job.
Blue Ghost: What do you do?
Green Ghost: I’m haunting old man Fergusson’s house!
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Ghost: Boo . . . did I scare you?
Haunted House Visitor: No.
Ghost: Well then . . . I’ll keep practicing.
Spirits can manifest in various ways, including orbs, streaks of light, dark shadows, mists, and strange blurs. Full-body apparitions are possible, but are said to be rare.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Differences And Individuality Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Benjamin: What is spooky and scares people - but is also nervous and jumpy?
Franklin: A ghost that is afraid of ghosts!
Ebony: Why was the ghost so excited?
Blanche: Because it was high-spirited.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Indifference And Enthusiasm Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“The important question is not, ‘Do you believe in ghosts?’ but ‘Do ghosts believe in you?’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966): “On Being a Ghost”
Laddie: What game do baby ghosts like to play?
Lassie: Peek-a-Boo!
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Lars: Where do ghosts go fishing?
Darcy: Lake Erie!
Jimmy: What is a ghost’s favorite kind of music?
Jeremy: Haunting melodies.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Music Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
We are MFOL! . . . if ghosts were real, you can be sure that we would be interviewing them right now, to find out if they know any silly jokes or have any secret knowledge. Yet, one can never be entirely sure, because there are many places in our world that have not yet been fully explored, and ghosts may be there waiting for us . . . Now go have fun with your life!
- What does a ghost look like?
- Have you ever seen a ghost?
- Have you ever heard a ghost?
- Have you ever felt the presence of a ghost?
- Is it harmful to believe in ghosts?
- Do plants have ghosts?
- Do animals have ghosts?
- Do you know any ghost stories?
- Would a ghost make a good pet or friend?
- What should you do if you see a ghost?
Some ghosts never sleep, so if you hear a strange whisper in your ear while you are sleeping, it may be a ghost.
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Earl: Where do parent ghosts send their little girls?
Pearl: To all-ghouls schools.
Ghosts often do not seem to know that they are not living persons. They may even exist in a permanent state of confusion, almost as if they are imprisoned in a dream from which they cannot awaken. Many ghosts are happy, but some appear to be experiencing emotional pain. Some ghosts retain all of the memories and emotions of being alive, while other ghosts seem to have forgotten everything, as though in a state of amnesia.
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Amber: Why did the ghost cross the road?
Cole: It was a poultry-gheist.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A ghost boo.
A ghost boo, who?
I’m sorry, please don’t cry, I didn’t mean to scare you.
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Ronald: What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
Donald: “Do you believe in people?”
Erma: What does a mother ghost say to her child when they get into the car?
Ernie: “Fasten your sheet-belt!”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Parenthood And Parenting Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Elmer: What goes, “Boo, putty, putty, putty, boo, putty, putty, putty”?
Marla: A ghost replacing a broken window.
If you like having a ghost around, say something nice to it, like: “You are really spooktacular and truly great at haunting.” If you find being haunted bothersome, simply ask the ghost to leave, as they often will do just as they are asked. Say something like, “I know you are here but you are scaring me, please leave.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Manners And Etiquette Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Jenny: What happens when a ghost disappears into the fog?
Lenny: He is mist.
Penny: What haunts your house and clucks?
Henny: A poultry-gheist!
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Cece: What does a haunted house not need?
Bebe: A living room.
Bella: Do all ghosts live in haunted houses?
Stella: No, some ghosts live inside clothes dryers, and steal people’s socks just for fun!
Bella: Aaaahhhh!
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Helen: What is a little ghost’s favorite game?
Ellen: Hide-and-Shriek.
During American Woodrow Wilson’s presidency, his wife Edith Wilson ordered the gardeners to dig up Dolly Madison’s prized rose garden. It is said that Dolly Madison’s spirit showed up and put such a fear of ghosts into the workmen that they fled without turning over a single shovel-full of the soil. The garden still continues to bloom, having been in place for about two centuries now.
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Igor: What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?
Victoria: Mas-scare-a.
Cell phones spook ghosts. According to an expert in England, mobile phones are making ghosts disappear. Tony Cornell, of the Society for Psychical Research, told the British “Sunday Express” newspaper that reports of ghost sightings had begun to decline when mobile phones were first introduced. “Ghost sightings have remained consistent for centuries,” said Cornell, of Cambridge in Eastern England. “But with the introduction of mobile phones fifteen years ago, ghost sightings began to decline to the point where now we are receiving none.” Apparently, paranormal events, which some scientists put down to unusual electrical activity, could be drowned out by the electronic noise produced by phone calls and text messages.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Telephones Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Curby: Why would ghosts not want to lie?
Kelsey: Because you can see right through them.
Todd: What do you get when you cross a ghost and an elephant?
Maude: A great big nothing.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Elephants Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Elva: What is a ghost’s favorite mode of transportation?
Myra: A scareplane.
Millie: Why do ghosts find it difficult to live in haunted houses?
Mildred: Because ghosts are not alive, and therefore cannot ‘live’ anywhere, silly.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Life And Living Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Millions of spiritual creatures walk the Earth
Unseen, both when we wake and when we sleep.
-John Milton (1608 - 1674): “Paradise Lost” (1667), lines 677 and 678
Green Ghost: I am really excited, because I just got a new job.
Blue Ghost: What do you do?
Green Ghost: I’m haunting old man Fergusson’s house!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Employment And Work Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Ghost: Boo . . . did I scare you?
Haunted House Visitor: No.
Ghost: Well then . . . I’ll keep practicing.
Spirits can manifest in various ways, including orbs, streaks of light, dark shadows, mists, and strange blurs. Full-body apparitions are possible, but are said to be rare.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Differences And Individuality Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Benjamin: What is spooky and scares people - but is also nervous and jumpy?
Franklin: A ghost that is afraid of ghosts!
Ebony: Why was the ghost so excited?
Blanche: Because it was high-spirited.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Indifference And Enthusiasm Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“The important question is not, ‘Do you believe in ghosts?’ but ‘Do ghosts believe in you?’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966): “On Being a Ghost”
Laddie: What game do baby ghosts like to play?
Lassie: Peek-a-Boo!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Babies And Infants Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Lars: Where do ghosts go fishing?
Darcy: Lake Erie!
Jimmy: What is a ghost’s favorite kind of music?
Jeremy: Haunting melodies.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Music Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
We are MFOL! . . . if ghosts were real, you can be sure that we would be interviewing them right now, to find out if they know any silly jokes or have any secret knowledge. Yet, one can never be entirely sure, because there are many places in our world that have not yet been fully explored, and ghosts may be there waiting for us . . . Now go have fun with your life!
