It’s not always easy being cheesy . . . and yet, we continue curdling along . . .
Excellent Cheese
There was an old man who said, “Please
Give me some of that excellent cheese.
I have smelt it for miles,
Coming over the stiles.
To your beautiful house on the Tees.”
By E. V. Knox
Processed cheese food was invented by Waltz Gerber and Fritz Stettler in Switzerland in 1911. Its longer shelf-life allows it to be stored and shipped over long distances.
Scott: When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Eric: “People!”
The word ‘cheese’ comes from the Latin ‘caseus’ meaning ‘cheese’ which in turn likely comes from the Proto-Indo-European root ‘kwat-’ meaning ‘to ferment’ or ‘to sour.’
One day, at lunch at an elementary school, the cafeteria was serving Swiss cheese. A little girl received her meal and was disgusted by it. She told the lunch lady that she didn’t like the holes in her cheese. To which the lunch lady responded, “That’s okay, honey, just eat around the holes, and leave them on your plate.”
Overheard: For cheese a jolly good fellow, for cheese a jolly good fellow . . . which nobody can deny!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cheese!
Cheese, who?
Cheese a jolly good fellow!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Knock-Knock Jokes” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Trent: What did the cheese say after hearing a joke?
Craig: That is a Gouda one!
“Swiss cheese is the only cheese you can draw and people can identify. You can draw American cheese, but someone will think it’s cheddar. It’s the only cheese you can bite and miss. ‘Hey Mitch - does that sandwich have cheese on it?’ ‘Every now and then!’” -Mitch Hedberg (Mitchell Lee ‘Mitch’ Hedberg (1968 - 2005))
Sandy: What cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Sally: Moatzeralla.
“If only there were some way to make this big hunk of cheese into hundreds of little pieces of cheese, that would be just grate.” -Author Unknown
Belinda: How do you know cheese makes people happy?
Melinda: Because they smile when they say, “Cheese!”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Smiles And Smiling” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Turophobia is a persistent fear of cheese. We ourselves often have nightmares in which we are being chased by monsters made entirely of . . . cheese! Seriously, though, if you have turophobia, you need to know that we strongly believe you can conquer your cheesy fear . . . we are just not sure how.
“What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?” -Bertolt Brecht (Eugen Berthold Friedrich Brecht (1898 - 1956)), commenting on Swiss cheese
Excellent Cheese
There was an old man who said, “Please
Give me some of that excellent cheese.
I have smelt it for miles,
Coming over the stiles.
To your beautiful house on the Tees.”
By E. V. Knox
Processed cheese food was invented by Waltz Gerber and Fritz Stettler in Switzerland in 1911. Its longer shelf-life allows it to be stored and shipped over long distances.
Scott: When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Eric: “People!”
The word ‘cheese’ comes from the Latin ‘caseus’ meaning ‘cheese’ which in turn likely comes from the Proto-Indo-European root ‘kwat-’ meaning ‘to ferment’ or ‘to sour.’
One day, at lunch at an elementary school, the cafeteria was serving Swiss cheese. A little girl received her meal and was disgusted by it. She told the lunch lady that she didn’t like the holes in her cheese. To which the lunch lady responded, “That’s okay, honey, just eat around the holes, and leave them on your plate.”
Overheard: For cheese a jolly good fellow, for cheese a jolly good fellow . . . which nobody can deny!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cheese!
Cheese, who?
Cheese a jolly good fellow!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Knock-Knock Jokes” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Trent: What did the cheese say after hearing a joke?
Craig: That is a Gouda one!
“Swiss cheese is the only cheese you can draw and people can identify. You can draw American cheese, but someone will think it’s cheddar. It’s the only cheese you can bite and miss. ‘Hey Mitch - does that sandwich have cheese on it?’ ‘Every now and then!’” -Mitch Hedberg (Mitchell Lee ‘Mitch’ Hedberg (1968 - 2005))
Sandy: What cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Sally: Moatzeralla.
“If only there were some way to make this big hunk of cheese into hundreds of little pieces of cheese, that would be just grate.” -Author Unknown
Belinda: How do you know cheese makes people happy?
Melinda: Because they smile when they say, “Cheese!”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Smiles And Smiling” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Turophobia is a persistent fear of cheese. We ourselves often have nightmares in which we are being chased by monsters made entirely of . . . cheese! Seriously, though, if you have turophobia, you need to know that we strongly believe you can conquer your cheesy fear . . . we are just not sure how.
“What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?” -Bertolt Brecht (Eugen Berthold Friedrich Brecht (1898 - 1956)), commenting on Swiss cheese
Chubby: When should you go on a cheese diet?
Hefty: When you need to cheddar a few pounds.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Weight Loss And Weight Maintenance” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Cheese has about one-tenth the volume of the milk from which it is made.
National Cheese Day is 4 June each year in the United States of America. This is a very mysterious day, as no one seems to know its origins.
Horatio: What is the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain?
Horace: Camembert, come on bear!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Bears” gathered by Dave Hugh Beaumont.
A man stopped by a sandwich shop one afternoon and placed his order with the counter girl. She rattled off the list of condiments on the sandwich and stopped to ask if he wanted yellow or white cheese. He responded by asking her what the difference was, to which she stated, “The color, of course!”
What is a cheesemonger? A cheesemonger, or specialist seller of cheeses, may have expertise with selecting, purchasing, receiving, storing, and ripening cheeses.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Employment and Work” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.” -G. K. Chesterton
(Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936)): “Alarms and Discursions” (1910), ‘Cheese,’ page 70
Chester: How do you make a cheese puff?
Chet: Chase it around the kitchen.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Physical Fitness And Exercising Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Gouda is a Dutch yellow cheese made from cow’s milk. It is named after the city of Gouda in the Netherlands.
Mitch: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Michelle: Nacho cheese!
Drew: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Andrew: Stolen - you’re under arrest!
“I’ll try anything once, even Limburger cheese.” -Thomas Edison (Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931))
Annette: What is the name of the area in the Middle East that is made entirely of cheese?
Annie: Curd-istan.
“Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.” -Helen Hayes
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Age and Aging” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Thirteen percent of people believe the Earth’s Moon is made of cheese - we hope it is Swiss cheese because that is our favorite!
You set circumstances to make me believe
Or think, that the moon is made of green cheese.
[translation to contemporary English]
Ye set circumquaques to make me beleue
Or thinke, that the moone is made of gréene chéese.
[original Middle English]
-Author Unknown: as quoted in John Heywood (about 1497 - about 1580): “The Proverbs of John Heywood” (1546), Part II, chapter 7
Overheard: “I’m glad the cheese stands alone, because that makes it easier to find.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Loners And Singles” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Kit: What search engine is popular among mice?
Kat: ‘Ask Cheese.’
“How can you expect to govern a country that has two hundred and forty-six kinds of cheese?” [translation to English]
“Comment voulez-vous gouverner un pays qui a deux cent quarante-six variétés de fromage?” [original French]
-Charles de Gaulle (1890 - 1970) (1958), commenting on France
What if we wrote secret coded messages on slices of cheese . . . and then we destroyed them before the enemy could find them by putting them through cheese shredders?
Freda: What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Fred: Roar-quefort.
There are more than 450 types of cheese in the world, and about 240 of them originate in France - which is not to say that the French are any cheesier than the rest of the world, mind you!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Differences And Individuality” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“The holes in your Swiss cheese are somebody else’s Swiss cheese.” -Melvin Fishman: “New York Times” (1982), ‘Higher Education Supplement’
Hefty: When you need to cheddar a few pounds.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About Weight Loss And Weight Maintenance” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Cheese has about one-tenth the volume of the milk from which it is made.
National Cheese Day is 4 June each year in the United States of America. This is a very mysterious day, as no one seems to know its origins.
Horatio: What is the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain?
Horace: Camembert, come on bear!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Bears” gathered by Dave Hugh Beaumont.
A man stopped by a sandwich shop one afternoon and placed his order with the counter girl. She rattled off the list of condiments on the sandwich and stopped to ask if he wanted yellow or white cheese. He responded by asking her what the difference was, to which she stated, “The color, of course!”
What is a cheesemonger? A cheesemonger, or specialist seller of cheeses, may have expertise with selecting, purchasing, receiving, storing, and ripening cheeses.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Employment and Work” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
“Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.” -G. K. Chesterton
(Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936)): “Alarms and Discursions” (1910), ‘Cheese,’ page 70
Chester: How do you make a cheese puff?
Chet: Chase it around the kitchen.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Physical Fitness And Exercising Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Gouda is a Dutch yellow cheese made from cow’s milk. It is named after the city of Gouda in the Netherlands.
Mitch: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Michelle: Nacho cheese!
Drew: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Andrew: Stolen - you’re under arrest!
“I’ll try anything once, even Limburger cheese.” -Thomas Edison (Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931))
Annette: What is the name of the area in the Middle East that is made entirely of cheese?
Annie: Curd-istan.
“Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.” -Helen Hayes
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Age and Aging” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Thirteen percent of people believe the Earth’s Moon is made of cheese - we hope it is Swiss cheese because that is our favorite!
You set circumstances to make me believe
Or think, that the moon is made of green cheese.
[translation to contemporary English]
Ye set circumquaques to make me beleue
Or thinke, that the moone is made of gréene chéese.
[original Middle English]
-Author Unknown: as quoted in John Heywood (about 1497 - about 1580): “The Proverbs of John Heywood” (1546), Part II, chapter 7
Overheard: “I’m glad the cheese stands alone, because that makes it easier to find.”
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Loners And Singles” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Kit: What search engine is popular among mice?
Kat: ‘Ask Cheese.’
“How can you expect to govern a country that has two hundred and forty-six kinds of cheese?” [translation to English]
“Comment voulez-vous gouverner un pays qui a deux cent quarante-six variétés de fromage?” [original French]
-Charles de Gaulle (1890 - 1970) (1958), commenting on France
What if we wrote secret coded messages on slices of cheese . . . and then we destroyed them before the enemy could find them by putting them through cheese shredders?
Freda: What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Fred: Roar-quefort.
There are more than 450 types of cheese in the world, and about 240 of them originate in France - which is not to say that the French are any cheesier than the rest of the world, mind you!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Differences And Individuality” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“The holes in your Swiss cheese are somebody else’s Swiss cheese.” -Melvin Fishman: “New York Times” (1982), ‘Higher Education Supplement’
Why does Swiss cheese have holes? Swiss cheese is made by heating milk from a cow at high temperatures and then lifting the curd (solids) from the whey (liquids) in a fine-mesh net. This mass of curds is then made into blocks, salted with strong brine, wrapped to prevent drying, and stored for 6 to 8 weeks at 27 degrees Celsius (80 degrees Fahrenheit) to ferment. Holes are formed during this part of the process, as bubbles of carbon dioxide gas are liberated by bacteria used to promote fermentation. Cheese-makers call the holes in Swiss cheese ‘eyes.’
A Pile of De Brie
One Saturday morning at three
A cheese monger’s shop in Paree
Collapsed to the ground
With a thunderous sound
Leaving only a pile of ‘de brie.’
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Accidents and Safety” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Grated cheddar cheese from the supermarket can be squashed tightly together with one’s fingers to produce a block of cheese, ready for slicing or grating. (We have all kinds of ridiculously amazing information like this on the ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ Website, if that’s your kind of thing!)
Melanie: What do you call cheese that is sad?
Melody: Blue cheese.
What is Caerphilly? Caerphilly is a hard, crumbly friable mild white cheese that originated in the area around the town of Caerphilly, Wales. It is believed to have been created to provide food for the local coal miners.
“Many’s the long night I’ve dreamed of cheese - toasted, mostly.” -Robert Louis Stevenson (Robert Louis Balfour Stevenson (1850 - 1894)): “Treasure Island” (1883), Chapter 15, ’The Man of the Island’; words of character Ben Gunn
Mildred: Which cheese lives in a tiny house?
Milford: Cottage cheese.
“Cheese should be on the list of most important human discoveries of all time, which would be: the taming of fire, the invention of the wheel, and then the making of cheese.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Purportedly, eating cheese before going to sleep helps people fall asleep faster and sleep better.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Sleep And Sleeping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Penelope: Why does cheese look balanced and well-adjusted?
Penny: Because by comparison, everything else on the plate is ‘crackers.’
Cornish Yarg is a semi-hard cow’s milk cheese made in Cornwall, England. ‘Yarg’ is ‘Gray’ spelled backwards. It is named after Alan Gray and Jenny Gray, farmers who found a 1615 recipe by Gervase Markham (possibly also known as Jervis Markham (about 1568 - 1637)) for a nettle-wrapped semi-hard cheese in their attic. The original recipe is believed to date back to the thirteenth century.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About History” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” -Jon Hammond
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese . . . to us, that sounds like it might just be worth the wait . . . how about you?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Waiting And Patience” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Elmer: What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Elma: Limburger.
“If I had to give up cheese or chocolate, I’d give up chocolate in a heartbeat.” -Amanda Peet
Maybe it is time for humankind to create chocolate cheese?
“A cheese may disappoint. It may be dull, it may be naive, it may be overly sophisticated. Yet it remains cheese, milk’s leap toward immortality.” -Clifton Fadiman (Clifton Paul Fadiman (1904 - 1999)): “Any Number Can Play” (1957)
“Give me a good sharp knife and a good sharp cheese and I’m a happy man.” -George R. R. Martin
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Happiness Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Justin: What did the vain cheese say when he looked in a mirror?
Dustin: “I’m looking Gouda!”
Types Of Cheese
- Brie
- Camembert
- Havarti
- Ricotta
- Swiss
- Yarg
Can you think of other types of cheese?
We have not tested this yet, but we have heard that when opened chunks of cheese are wrapped in aluminum foil, the cheese will stay mold-free and fresh longer.
Kimmy: What dance do cheese makers do every Halloween?
Kimberly: The Muenster Mash!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Dance and Dancing” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Sweet dreams are made of Cheese,
Who am I to diss a Brie.
I Cheddar the world
And the Feta cheese
Everybody’s looking for Stilton.
-Author Unknown: parody
Riddle: What cheese is ‘made’ backward?
Solution: Edam.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Puzzles And Riddles” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
We are MFOL! . . . and we claim to be only a little ‘cheesy’ . . .
A Pile of De Brie
One Saturday morning at three
A cheese monger’s shop in Paree
Collapsed to the ground
With a thunderous sound
Leaving only a pile of ‘de brie.’
By Author Unknown
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Accidents and Safety” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Grated cheddar cheese from the supermarket can be squashed tightly together with one’s fingers to produce a block of cheese, ready for slicing or grating. (We have all kinds of ridiculously amazing information like this on the ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ Website, if that’s your kind of thing!)
Melanie: What do you call cheese that is sad?
Melody: Blue cheese.
What is Caerphilly? Caerphilly is a hard, crumbly friable mild white cheese that originated in the area around the town of Caerphilly, Wales. It is believed to have been created to provide food for the local coal miners.
“Many’s the long night I’ve dreamed of cheese - toasted, mostly.” -Robert Louis Stevenson (Robert Louis Balfour Stevenson (1850 - 1894)): “Treasure Island” (1883), Chapter 15, ’The Man of the Island’; words of character Ben Gunn
Mildred: Which cheese lives in a tiny house?
Milford: Cottage cheese.
“Cheese should be on the list of most important human discoveries of all time, which would be: the taming of fire, the invention of the wheel, and then the making of cheese.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Purportedly, eating cheese before going to sleep helps people fall asleep faster and sleep better.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Sleep And Sleeping Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Penelope: Why does cheese look balanced and well-adjusted?
Penny: Because by comparison, everything else on the plate is ‘crackers.’
Cornish Yarg is a semi-hard cow’s milk cheese made in Cornwall, England. ‘Yarg’ is ‘Gray’ spelled backwards. It is named after Alan Gray and Jenny Gray, farmers who found a 1615 recipe by Gervase Markham (possibly also known as Jervis Markham (about 1568 - 1637)) for a nettle-wrapped semi-hard cheese in their attic. The original recipe is believed to date back to the thirteenth century.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun And Learning About History” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” -Jon Hammond
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese . . . to us, that sounds like it might just be worth the wait . . . how about you?
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Waiting And Patience” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Elmer: What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Elma: Limburger.
“If I had to give up cheese or chocolate, I’d give up chocolate in a heartbeat.” -Amanda Peet
Maybe it is time for humankind to create chocolate cheese?
“A cheese may disappoint. It may be dull, it may be naive, it may be overly sophisticated. Yet it remains cheese, milk’s leap toward immortality.” -Clifton Fadiman (Clifton Paul Fadiman (1904 - 1999)): “Any Number Can Play” (1957)
“Give me a good sharp knife and a good sharp cheese and I’m a happy man.” -George R. R. Martin
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read Happiness Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
Justin: What did the vain cheese say when he looked in a mirror?
Dustin: “I’m looking Gouda!”
Types Of Cheese
- Brie
- Camembert
- Havarti
- Ricotta
- Swiss
- Yarg
Can you think of other types of cheese?
We have not tested this yet, but we have heard that when opened chunks of cheese are wrapped in aluminum foil, the cheese will stay mold-free and fresh longer.
Kimmy: What dance do cheese makers do every Halloween?
Kimberly: The Muenster Mash!
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Fun and Learning about Dance and Dancing” gathered by David Hugh Beaumont.
Sweet dreams are made of Cheese,
Who am I to diss a Brie.
I Cheddar the world
And the Feta cheese
Everybody’s looking for Stilton.
-Author Unknown: parody
Riddle: What cheese is ‘made’ backward?
Solution: Edam.
Continue scrolling down this website page to read the rest of the article, or click or tap on these words to read “Humor And Inspiration And Learning About Puzzles And Riddles” Gathered By David Hugh Beaumont.
We are MFOL! . . . and we claim to be only a little ‘cheesy’ . . .
