“We’re all born bald, baby.” -Author Unknown: “Kojack” television series; line spoken by fictional bald detective Kojack (portrayed by actor Telly Savalas)
Twig
A bald-headed person named Twig
Once went for advice to a pig.
Said the pig, “Make some snares,
And catch a few hares,
And weave the hares into a wig.”
by Willard R. Espy (Willard Richardson Espy (1910 - 1999))
“You can resent your bald spot or be glad you have a head.” -Timothy Miller
Angus: Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Angelica: Because from a distance, they look like hares.
Julius Caesar wore a laurel wreath to cover his balding head. One might wonder if that is how the whole silly notion of crowns and tiaras began.
Consolation for Baldness
What’s the advantage of hair, anyhow?
It blows in your eyes and it flops on your brow,
Disguising the shape of your scholarly head;
It often is gray and it sometimes is red.
Perhaps it is golden and ringleted, but
It needs to be combed and it has to be cut,
And even at best, it is nothing to boast of,
Because it’s what barbarous men have the most of,
Then challenge yourself, mirror, defiant and careless,
For lots of our handsomest people are hairless.
by Arthur Guiterman (1871 - 1943)
Bald-headed Man: One who, when expecting visitors, has only to straighten his necktie.
The balding man asked his barber, “Why charge me the full price for cutting my hair, as there’s so little of it?” “Well,” said the barber, “actually I charge very little for cutting it. What you’re paying for is my searching for it.”
Overheard: I am not bald; I am follicly-challenged.
There is a new remedy on the market for baldness. It is made of alum and persimmon juice. While it does not grow hair, it does shrink your head to fit what hair you have remaining.
Daniel: What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday?
Leonard: “Thanks, I’ll never part with this!”
As Star Trek’s Captain Jean-Luc Picard might say, “To baldly go where no man has gone before . . . !”
Overheard: “I’m not bald; I’m just a little taller than my hair.”
One advantage of being completely bald is that a person can wash his or her head with soap only - no need for a bothersome and sometimes confusing collection of bottles of shampoos and conditioners. This saves you 78.71 seconds of time each day that you can now put to good use - not to mention the fact that you now no longer need to waste time in the shampoo aisle at the store trying to find a shampoo that doesn’t smell like a beautifully fragrant flower growing next to a sewage treatment plant.
Gregory Griggs
Gregory Griggs, Gregory Griggs,
Had twenty-seven different wigs.
He wore them up, he wore them down,
To please the people of the town.
He wore them east, he wore them west,
And never could tell which one he liked best.
by Author Unknown
Alternatives to wigs include hats, bonnets, and scarves.
Riddle: Six people went swimming but only five got wet hair - why?
Answer: One of the people was bald.
People with hair loss are no different than anyone else. In fact, at one time, they probably had hair just like you do, and at some time, you yourself may have some hair loss. So, when you see a bald man, woman, or child, treat him or her just as you would want to be treated if you were in the same circumstances. And, if a person has hair loss and wears a wig or toupée or has a comb-over, or wears a scarf or hat, avoid saying anything either good or bad about it - in fact, it is better to keep your thoughts to yourself and leave them unsaid than it would be to hurt someone’s feelings. Sometimes people do not have a choice in what happens to them, so they do as best they can to live with how their lives have turned out . . . and they are always welcome here on MFOL!
Twig
A bald-headed person named Twig
Once went for advice to a pig.
Said the pig, “Make some snares,
And catch a few hares,
And weave the hares into a wig.”
by Willard R. Espy (Willard Richardson Espy (1910 - 1999))
“You can resent your bald spot or be glad you have a head.” -Timothy Miller
Angus: Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Angelica: Because from a distance, they look like hares.
Julius Caesar wore a laurel wreath to cover his balding head. One might wonder if that is how the whole silly notion of crowns and tiaras began.
Consolation for Baldness
What’s the advantage of hair, anyhow?
It blows in your eyes and it flops on your brow,
Disguising the shape of your scholarly head;
It often is gray and it sometimes is red.
Perhaps it is golden and ringleted, but
It needs to be combed and it has to be cut,
And even at best, it is nothing to boast of,
Because it’s what barbarous men have the most of,
Then challenge yourself, mirror, defiant and careless,
For lots of our handsomest people are hairless.
by Arthur Guiterman (1871 - 1943)
Bald-headed Man: One who, when expecting visitors, has only to straighten his necktie.
The balding man asked his barber, “Why charge me the full price for cutting my hair, as there’s so little of it?” “Well,” said the barber, “actually I charge very little for cutting it. What you’re paying for is my searching for it.”
Overheard: I am not bald; I am follicly-challenged.
There is a new remedy on the market for baldness. It is made of alum and persimmon juice. While it does not grow hair, it does shrink your head to fit what hair you have remaining.
Daniel: What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday?
Leonard: “Thanks, I’ll never part with this!”
As Star Trek’s Captain Jean-Luc Picard might say, “To baldly go where no man has gone before . . . !”
Overheard: “I’m not bald; I’m just a little taller than my hair.”
One advantage of being completely bald is that a person can wash his or her head with soap only - no need for a bothersome and sometimes confusing collection of bottles of shampoos and conditioners. This saves you 78.71 seconds of time each day that you can now put to good use - not to mention the fact that you now no longer need to waste time in the shampoo aisle at the store trying to find a shampoo that doesn’t smell like a beautifully fragrant flower growing next to a sewage treatment plant.
Gregory Griggs
Gregory Griggs, Gregory Griggs,
Had twenty-seven different wigs.
He wore them up, he wore them down,
To please the people of the town.
He wore them east, he wore them west,
And never could tell which one he liked best.
by Author Unknown
Alternatives to wigs include hats, bonnets, and scarves.
Riddle: Six people went swimming but only five got wet hair - why?
Answer: One of the people was bald.
People with hair loss are no different than anyone else. In fact, at one time, they probably had hair just like you do, and at some time, you yourself may have some hair loss. So, when you see a bald man, woman, or child, treat him or her just as you would want to be treated if you were in the same circumstances. And, if a person has hair loss and wears a wig or toupée or has a comb-over, or wears a scarf or hat, avoid saying anything either good or bad about it - in fact, it is better to keep your thoughts to yourself and leave them unsaid than it would be to hurt someone’s feelings. Sometimes people do not have a choice in what happens to them, so they do as best they can to live with how their lives have turned out . . . and they are always welcome here on MFOL!
There was an old person of Brigg
Who purchased no end of a wig;
So that only his nose,
And the end of his toes,
Could be seen when he walked about Brigg.
-Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872), limerick 98
“There is one thing about baldness - it’s neat.” -Don Herold (1889 - 1966)
Bob: What is the cure for dandruff?
Otto: Baldness.
“Toupée or not toupée, that is the question.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“Grass doesn’t grow on a busy street.” -William Hague, commenting on being bald
“I seem to have developed a compulsion to powder my wig . . . about 50 times a day now . . . professionals just don’t seem to be of any help.” -Author Unknown
Baldness: An admirable trait of the ideal human being, according to minimalists and efficiency experts.
“Bald people never have bad hair days.” -Author Unknown
Chris: Why are you staring at me like that?
Kelly: I was just admiring your bald spot.
“Some folks say that worry causes hair loss - that when the going gets tough, the tufts get going.” -Author Unknown
Who purchased no end of a wig;
So that only his nose,
And the end of his toes,
Could be seen when he walked about Brigg.
-Edward Lear: “More Nonsense, Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, Etc.” (1872), limerick 98
“There is one thing about baldness - it’s neat.” -Don Herold (1889 - 1966)
Bob: What is the cure for dandruff?
Otto: Baldness.
“Toupée or not toupée, that is the question.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“Grass doesn’t grow on a busy street.” -William Hague, commenting on being bald
“I seem to have developed a compulsion to powder my wig . . . about 50 times a day now . . . professionals just don’t seem to be of any help.” -Author Unknown
Baldness: An admirable trait of the ideal human being, according to minimalists and efficiency experts.
“Bald people never have bad hair days.” -Author Unknown
Chris: Why are you staring at me like that?
Kelly: I was just admiring your bald spot.
“Some folks say that worry causes hair loss - that when the going gets tough, the tufts get going.” -Author Unknown
Maybe it seemed like a good idea at the time . . . but today the company no longer exists . . . perhaps the proliferation of long-term hair-leasing companies put them out of business?
“A look at their domes makes it obvious that as men grow older, they become hard of hairing.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)
Old Man of Bombay
There once was a man from Bombay
Who wore on his head a toupée.
He thought that he might
Give friends a delight
And remove his toupée for a day.
by Author Unknown
The most common method to hide a bald spot is to remove all of one’s hair, making one’s entire self a giant bald spot.
“There is more felicity on the far side of baldness than young men can possibly imagine.” -Logan Pearsall Smith (1865 - 1946)
Have you heard about the new worldwide holiday, called Make Fun of People with Hair Day?
An interesting fact about male pattern baldness is that it does not appear to come in checkers, plaids, or stripes . . .
“I’ve always wanted to be bald. I mean it, completely bald. Wouldn’t it be great to be bald in the rain?” -Harrison Ford (born 1942)
Hair Loss and Wigs Quiz
- What hair color do they put on a bald person’s driver’s license?
- If a bald person works as a chef at a restaurant, does he or she have to wear a hairnet?
- Is there any way to avoid the ‘chrome dome’ look, in which a bald person’s head becomes shiny and reflective?
- Should bald people pay lower taxes than other taxpayers?
- How should bald people be treated?
“Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there’s your diamond in the rough.” -Larry David
“Underneath their hair, everyone is bald! Hair is just an ornament or decoration.” -Author Unknown
“The most delightful advantage to being bald: one can hear snowflakes.” -R. G. Daniels
This is MFOL! . . . for the people on the internet . . .
“A look at their domes makes it obvious that as men grow older, they become hard of hairing.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)
Old Man of Bombay
There once was a man from Bombay
Who wore on his head a toupée.
He thought that he might
Give friends a delight
And remove his toupée for a day.
by Author Unknown
The most common method to hide a bald spot is to remove all of one’s hair, making one’s entire self a giant bald spot.
“There is more felicity on the far side of baldness than young men can possibly imagine.” -Logan Pearsall Smith (1865 - 1946)
Have you heard about the new worldwide holiday, called Make Fun of People with Hair Day?
An interesting fact about male pattern baldness is that it does not appear to come in checkers, plaids, or stripes . . .
“I’ve always wanted to be bald. I mean it, completely bald. Wouldn’t it be great to be bald in the rain?” -Harrison Ford (born 1942)
Hair Loss and Wigs Quiz
- What hair color do they put on a bald person’s driver’s license?
- If a bald person works as a chef at a restaurant, does he or she have to wear a hairnet?
- Is there any way to avoid the ‘chrome dome’ look, in which a bald person’s head becomes shiny and reflective?
- Should bald people pay lower taxes than other taxpayers?
- How should bald people be treated?
“Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there’s your diamond in the rough.” -Larry David
“Underneath their hair, everyone is bald! Hair is just an ornament or decoration.” -Author Unknown
“The most delightful advantage to being bald: one can hear snowflakes.” -R. G. Daniels
This is MFOL! . . . for the people on the internet . . .
