Chocolate Milk Cow
There once was a spotted brown cow
Who lives in the pasture now;
She makes chocolate milk,
As smooth as silk,
And I don’t know exactly how.
by Author Unknown
Gabe: What has four legs and goes, “Oom, oom”?
Abe: A cow walking backwards.
Cattle Facts
- Adult male cattle are called bulls.
- The sound made by bulls is called bellowing.
- Adult female cattle are called cows.
- The sound made by cows is called mooing.
- Young cattle are called calves.
- The sound made by calves is called bleating.
- A group of cattle is called a herd.
- Cattle are herbivores, or animals that eat plants.
- Cattle can live for up to 25 years.
- Cattle live on every continent except Antarctica.
Scott: What newspaper do cows read?
Todd: The Daily Moos.
Alvin: Why did the cow pack her bags?
Albert: I don’t know - why?
Alvin: Because she was moo-ving!
Cattle were domesticated, or tamed from wild animals, thousands of years ago. Some wild cattle, such as the gaur and banteng, can still be found in Asia.
Mabelle: What do you say to a cow that crosses the road in front of your car?
Ellie: Moo-ve over.
A man’s car stalled on a country road. When he got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him. “Your trouble is probably in the carburetor,” said the cow. Startled, the man jumped back in fright, and ran down the road until he met a farmer. He told the farmer his story. “Was it a large red cow with a white spot over the right eye?” asked the farmer. “Yes, yes!” the man replied. “Oh. I wouldn’t listen to Bessie,” said the farmer. “She doesn’t know anything about cars.”
Cattle trained to be draft animals, or work animals, are called oxen. They possess incredible all-day brute strength, beyond even what most horses and mules have. They have been used in times past for pulling wagonloads of heavy building materials over rough, uneven land. They were also used to pull plows in newly cleared still-rocky farm fields. They walked in circles attached to wheels for such purposes as grinding grain into flour and for powering machines where watermills and waterwheels were not available. Yoked together in pairs for such work, they are called oxen teams. Although still occasionally seen doing such work in undeveloped parts of the world, these beasts of burden have been largely replaced by internal combustions engine and electric motors.
A Basket of Cow
There once was a girl who said, “How
Shall I manage to carry my cow?
Every time that I ask it
To get in my basket,
It makes such a terrible row.”
by Author Unknown
Lucy: What do you get when you have a cow and a duck?
Lucinda: Milk and quackers.
How now, brown cow?
Cattle have stocky bodies, thick skin, hoofed feet, and long tails. They typically weigh between 180 and 720 kilograms (400 and 1,600 pounds). Some cattle have horns, and some cattle do not. They vary in color from white, to black, to brown, to tan, with many cattle having more than one color on each animal. Cattle use their long tails to flick insects off their backs.
Judy: What do you call a grumpy cow?
Trudy: Moo-dy.
Beverly: Why do cows wear bells?
Arlene: Because their horns do not work!
Cattle can run at speeds of 56 kilometers (35 miles) per hour. In deep mud, cattle can run faster than horses. Bulls can run faster uphill than downhill, and cows will climb up stairs but not down stairs. Are you thinking what we are thinking? Yes, we can indeed make a ‘cattle trap’ using the information in this paragraph. Let us make a quick drawing on paper of our invention and get over to the patent office right away before anyone else thinks of this!
Bert: Why did the farmer give his cow a pogo stick?
Bart: He wanted a milkshake.
Cows sleep standing up. (Warning for humans - do not attempt!)
A city girl visiting her uncle and aunt on their farm was watching a cow chewing its cud. “Pretty fine cow, that,” said her uncle as he passed by. “Yes,” said the girl, “but doesn’t it cost a lot of money to keep it in chewing gum?”
Cattle are herbivores, or animals that eat plants. Grazing is the word used to describe cattle eating grass or other plants in a field. Because the grass, hay, corn, and other plant material cattle eat requires a lot of work to be digested, cattle stomachs have four parts, or compartments, called the rumen, the reticulum, the omasum, and the abomasum. Animals that have this type of multi-compartment stomach are called ruminants. Cattle swallow their food without chewing it very much, and then later chew their food, or cud, again, to break it down into digestible bits.
Amos: What did the cow say when she had nothing to eat but thistle?
Moses: “Thistle have to do.”
Stephen: What do you get when you cross a cow and a goat?
Steven: A coat!
Per head, cattle eat about 23 kilograms (50 pounds) of food a day, and drink about 132 liters (35 gallons) of water. ‘Per head’ is how farmers and ranchers often refer to each individual animal. So, if you have 1,000 head of cattle, it means you have 1,000 animals.
Howie: What do you call a cow with four legs?
Ward: A cow.
Millicent: What game did they play at the cow’s birthday party?
Millie: Moo-sical chairs.
Bulls are red-green colorblind (they fail to see those colors), and in bull fighting exhibitions, they will charge at the waving cape of a matador (bullfighter) no matter what color the cape is - be it red or neon yellow. Bulls become agitated, or are angered, by the movement of the cape, the color being of no importance.
Aaron: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
Isaac: “It’s pasture bedtime.”
“Researchers have found that cows with names give more milk than cows without names. Isn’t that right, Daisy?” “Moo-oo-oo!”
Cattle have an excellent sense of smell. They can smell odors up to 8 kilometers (5 miles) away. Likewise, some people claim to be able to smell cattle up to 8 kilometers (5 miles) away. That last sentence was a joke.
June: What do you call a cow with a crown?
April: Dairy Queen.
Rob: Where do cows stay when vacationing?
Bert: In moo-tels.
Cattle are social animals and interact with other cattle. Humans likewise - though mostly with other humans. Cattle moo as a way to communicate. Humans moo as a way to have fun. Cows can have regional accents. Humans have regional accents. This just keeps getting more and more interesting.
Two cows were in a field. The first cow said, “Moo!” and the second cow said, “Baaa.” The first cow asked the second cow, “Why did you say baaa?” The second cow said, “I’m learning a foreign language.”
A man was driving along a country road when the idea struck him to stop and pick some flowers. He had barely begun when he saw a mean looking bull not far away. The young man called out to the farmer in the next field, “Hey, mister! Is that bull safe?” To which the farmer shouted back, “Sure, safe as anything! Can’t say the same about you, though.”
There was an old man who said, “How
Shall I flee from that horrible cow?
I will sit on this stile,
And continue to smile,
Which may soften the heart of that cow.”
-Edward Lear
Jennie: What has four wheels, gives milk, and eats grass?
Jeanine: A cow on a skateboard.
Jeffry: What do you call a lazy cow?
Geoffrey: Meat loaf.
Cattle provide people with beef, gelatin, glue, soap, and leather. Many dairy products, including cream, butter, ice cream, cheese, milkshakes, and yogurt are made from cows’ milk.
“Look at those cows and remember that the greatest scientists in the world have never discovered how to make grass into milk.” -Michael Pupin
The Cow
The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.
by Ogden Nash
One cow produces about 23 liters (about 6 gallons) of milk in a day.
Jess: What do you call someone who works in a dairy?
Josh: A cow.
Melissa: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
Lisa: Milk of amnesia.
Many of the more than one billion cattle in the world live on dairy farms and cattle ranches. Moo!
Mick: What has a horn and gives milk?
Mack: A milk truck.
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
Ode to a Cow
When life seems one too many for you,
Go and look at a cow.
When the future’s black and the outlook blue,
Go and look at a cow.
For she does nothing but eat her food.
And sleep in the meadows entirely bare,
Refusing to fret or worry or scare -
Because she doesn’t know how.
Whenever you’re feeling bothered and sore,
Go and look at a cow.
When everything else is a fearful bore,
Go and look at a cow.
Observe her gentle and placid air,
Her nonchalance and savoir faire.
Her absolute freedom from every care,
Her imperturbable brow.
So when you’re at the end of your wits,
Go and look at a cow.
Or when your nerves are frayed to bits,
And wrinkles furrow your brow;
She’ll merely moo in her gentle way,
Switching her rudder as if to say:
“Bother tomorrow, let’s live today!”
Take the advice of a cow.
by Author Unknown
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
Cattle came to North America with the pilgrims. They arrived at the colony of Jamestown in 1611.
Charlene: What kind of cattle giggle?
Charles: Laughingstock!
Shelly: Why do cows go to New York?
Sally: To see the moo-sicals!
“I guess cows aren’t into the four food groups, especially when they are two of them.” -Anthony Clark
Peggy: What do you get from pampered cows?
Sue: Spoiled milk.
Moo, Moo, Brown Cow
Moo, moo, brown cow, have you milk for me?
Yes sir, yes sir, tasty as can be,
Churn it into butter or make it into cheese,
Freeze it into ice cream or drink it if you please.
by Author Unknown
James: How can you delay milk from becoming sour?
Robert: Keep it in the cow.
Betty: Where do baby cows eat?
Beatrice: In the calf-eteria.
Bonnie: What do cows put on their pancakes?
Lassie: Lots of moo-ple syrup!
A herd of cows and two bulls were eating grass in a pasture. Suddenly, a great gust of wind came ripping across the prairie and knocked all the cows to the ground. But the bulls just swayed in the wind and continued eating. When the wind quieted down, the cows stood up, brushed themselves off, and started eating again. A bit later, one cow looked up just in time to see a tornado tearing through the pasture. The tornado knocked the cows every which way, but the bulls just rocked back and forth. When the cows got back on their feet and picked the straw out of their hides, they walked over to the bulls. One cow said, “Why do we cows get knocked over by the wind but you bulls continue standing?” The two bulls laughed and replied, “Because we bulls wobble, but we don’t fall down.”
Arlene: Where do people buy cows?
Darlene: From cattlelogs.
Buddy: Where did the cow and the bull go on their date?
Holly: To the moo-vies, of course!
Old Man from Crewe
There was an old man from Crewe
Who wanted to know how to moo.
He studied a cow
To try and learn how,
But all he could do was boo.
by Author Unknown
Will: What is a cow’s favorite place?
Bill: The moo-seum.
Cows are moo-sically inclined, as they tend to produce more milk when they listen to music.
Warren: What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?
Laura: A moo-sician.
Jimmy: What is the easiest way to count cows?
Timmy: With a cow-culator.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go, who?
No, silly - cows go, “Moo!”
Two cows were standing in a field. The first one said, “Moo.” The second one said, “I was just about to say the same thing.”
This is MFOL! . . . what, you didn’t think that was funny? Well, the cattle sure did!
There once was a spotted brown cow
Who lives in the pasture now;
She makes chocolate milk,
As smooth as silk,
And I don’t know exactly how.
by Author Unknown
Gabe: What has four legs and goes, “Oom, oom”?
Abe: A cow walking backwards.
Cattle Facts
- Adult male cattle are called bulls.
- The sound made by bulls is called bellowing.
- Adult female cattle are called cows.
- The sound made by cows is called mooing.
- Young cattle are called calves.
- The sound made by calves is called bleating.
- A group of cattle is called a herd.
- Cattle are herbivores, or animals that eat plants.
- Cattle can live for up to 25 years.
- Cattle live on every continent except Antarctica.
Scott: What newspaper do cows read?
Todd: The Daily Moos.
Alvin: Why did the cow pack her bags?
Albert: I don’t know - why?
Alvin: Because she was moo-ving!
Cattle were domesticated, or tamed from wild animals, thousands of years ago. Some wild cattle, such as the gaur and banteng, can still be found in Asia.
Mabelle: What do you say to a cow that crosses the road in front of your car?
Ellie: Moo-ve over.
A man’s car stalled on a country road. When he got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him. “Your trouble is probably in the carburetor,” said the cow. Startled, the man jumped back in fright, and ran down the road until he met a farmer. He told the farmer his story. “Was it a large red cow with a white spot over the right eye?” asked the farmer. “Yes, yes!” the man replied. “Oh. I wouldn’t listen to Bessie,” said the farmer. “She doesn’t know anything about cars.”
Cattle trained to be draft animals, or work animals, are called oxen. They possess incredible all-day brute strength, beyond even what most horses and mules have. They have been used in times past for pulling wagonloads of heavy building materials over rough, uneven land. They were also used to pull plows in newly cleared still-rocky farm fields. They walked in circles attached to wheels for such purposes as grinding grain into flour and for powering machines where watermills and waterwheels were not available. Yoked together in pairs for such work, they are called oxen teams. Although still occasionally seen doing such work in undeveloped parts of the world, these beasts of burden have been largely replaced by internal combustions engine and electric motors.
A Basket of Cow
There once was a girl who said, “How
Shall I manage to carry my cow?
Every time that I ask it
To get in my basket,
It makes such a terrible row.”
by Author Unknown
Lucy: What do you get when you have a cow and a duck?
Lucinda: Milk and quackers.
How now, brown cow?
Cattle have stocky bodies, thick skin, hoofed feet, and long tails. They typically weigh between 180 and 720 kilograms (400 and 1,600 pounds). Some cattle have horns, and some cattle do not. They vary in color from white, to black, to brown, to tan, with many cattle having more than one color on each animal. Cattle use their long tails to flick insects off their backs.
Judy: What do you call a grumpy cow?
Trudy: Moo-dy.
Beverly: Why do cows wear bells?
Arlene: Because their horns do not work!
Cattle can run at speeds of 56 kilometers (35 miles) per hour. In deep mud, cattle can run faster than horses. Bulls can run faster uphill than downhill, and cows will climb up stairs but not down stairs. Are you thinking what we are thinking? Yes, we can indeed make a ‘cattle trap’ using the information in this paragraph. Let us make a quick drawing on paper of our invention and get over to the patent office right away before anyone else thinks of this!
Bert: Why did the farmer give his cow a pogo stick?
Bart: He wanted a milkshake.
Cows sleep standing up. (Warning for humans - do not attempt!)
A city girl visiting her uncle and aunt on their farm was watching a cow chewing its cud. “Pretty fine cow, that,” said her uncle as he passed by. “Yes,” said the girl, “but doesn’t it cost a lot of money to keep it in chewing gum?”
Cattle are herbivores, or animals that eat plants. Grazing is the word used to describe cattle eating grass or other plants in a field. Because the grass, hay, corn, and other plant material cattle eat requires a lot of work to be digested, cattle stomachs have four parts, or compartments, called the rumen, the reticulum, the omasum, and the abomasum. Animals that have this type of multi-compartment stomach are called ruminants. Cattle swallow their food without chewing it very much, and then later chew their food, or cud, again, to break it down into digestible bits.
Amos: What did the cow say when she had nothing to eat but thistle?
Moses: “Thistle have to do.”
Stephen: What do you get when you cross a cow and a goat?
Steven: A coat!
Per head, cattle eat about 23 kilograms (50 pounds) of food a day, and drink about 132 liters (35 gallons) of water. ‘Per head’ is how farmers and ranchers often refer to each individual animal. So, if you have 1,000 head of cattle, it means you have 1,000 animals.
Howie: What do you call a cow with four legs?
Ward: A cow.
Millicent: What game did they play at the cow’s birthday party?
Millie: Moo-sical chairs.
Bulls are red-green colorblind (they fail to see those colors), and in bull fighting exhibitions, they will charge at the waving cape of a matador (bullfighter) no matter what color the cape is - be it red or neon yellow. Bulls become agitated, or are angered, by the movement of the cape, the color being of no importance.
Aaron: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
Isaac: “It’s pasture bedtime.”
“Researchers have found that cows with names give more milk than cows without names. Isn’t that right, Daisy?” “Moo-oo-oo!”
Cattle have an excellent sense of smell. They can smell odors up to 8 kilometers (5 miles) away. Likewise, some people claim to be able to smell cattle up to 8 kilometers (5 miles) away. That last sentence was a joke.
June: What do you call a cow with a crown?
April: Dairy Queen.
Rob: Where do cows stay when vacationing?
Bert: In moo-tels.
Cattle are social animals and interact with other cattle. Humans likewise - though mostly with other humans. Cattle moo as a way to communicate. Humans moo as a way to have fun. Cows can have regional accents. Humans have regional accents. This just keeps getting more and more interesting.
Two cows were in a field. The first cow said, “Moo!” and the second cow said, “Baaa.” The first cow asked the second cow, “Why did you say baaa?” The second cow said, “I’m learning a foreign language.”
A man was driving along a country road when the idea struck him to stop and pick some flowers. He had barely begun when he saw a mean looking bull not far away. The young man called out to the farmer in the next field, “Hey, mister! Is that bull safe?” To which the farmer shouted back, “Sure, safe as anything! Can’t say the same about you, though.”
There was an old man who said, “How
Shall I flee from that horrible cow?
I will sit on this stile,
And continue to smile,
Which may soften the heart of that cow.”
-Edward Lear
Jennie: What has four wheels, gives milk, and eats grass?
Jeanine: A cow on a skateboard.
Jeffry: What do you call a lazy cow?
Geoffrey: Meat loaf.
Cattle provide people with beef, gelatin, glue, soap, and leather. Many dairy products, including cream, butter, ice cream, cheese, milkshakes, and yogurt are made from cows’ milk.
“Look at those cows and remember that the greatest scientists in the world have never discovered how to make grass into milk.” -Michael Pupin
The Cow
The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.
by Ogden Nash
One cow produces about 23 liters (about 6 gallons) of milk in a day.
Jess: What do you call someone who works in a dairy?
Josh: A cow.
Melissa: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
Lisa: Milk of amnesia.
Many of the more than one billion cattle in the world live on dairy farms and cattle ranches. Moo!
Mick: What has a horn and gives milk?
Mack: A milk truck.
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
Ode to a Cow
When life seems one too many for you,
Go and look at a cow.
When the future’s black and the outlook blue,
Go and look at a cow.
For she does nothing but eat her food.
And sleep in the meadows entirely bare,
Refusing to fret or worry or scare -
Because she doesn’t know how.
Whenever you’re feeling bothered and sore,
Go and look at a cow.
When everything else is a fearful bore,
Go and look at a cow.
Observe her gentle and placid air,
Her nonchalance and savoir faire.
Her absolute freedom from every care,
Her imperturbable brow.
So when you’re at the end of your wits,
Go and look at a cow.
Or when your nerves are frayed to bits,
And wrinkles furrow your brow;
She’ll merely moo in her gentle way,
Switching her rudder as if to say:
“Bother tomorrow, let’s live today!”
Take the advice of a cow.
by Author Unknown
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
══════════════════════════════════════════════════
Cattle came to North America with the pilgrims. They arrived at the colony of Jamestown in 1611.
Charlene: What kind of cattle giggle?
Charles: Laughingstock!
Shelly: Why do cows go to New York?
Sally: To see the moo-sicals!
“I guess cows aren’t into the four food groups, especially when they are two of them.” -Anthony Clark
Peggy: What do you get from pampered cows?
Sue: Spoiled milk.
Moo, Moo, Brown Cow
Moo, moo, brown cow, have you milk for me?
Yes sir, yes sir, tasty as can be,
Churn it into butter or make it into cheese,
Freeze it into ice cream or drink it if you please.
by Author Unknown
James: How can you delay milk from becoming sour?
Robert: Keep it in the cow.
Betty: Where do baby cows eat?
Beatrice: In the calf-eteria.
Bonnie: What do cows put on their pancakes?
Lassie: Lots of moo-ple syrup!
A herd of cows and two bulls were eating grass in a pasture. Suddenly, a great gust of wind came ripping across the prairie and knocked all the cows to the ground. But the bulls just swayed in the wind and continued eating. When the wind quieted down, the cows stood up, brushed themselves off, and started eating again. A bit later, one cow looked up just in time to see a tornado tearing through the pasture. The tornado knocked the cows every which way, but the bulls just rocked back and forth. When the cows got back on their feet and picked the straw out of their hides, they walked over to the bulls. One cow said, “Why do we cows get knocked over by the wind but you bulls continue standing?” The two bulls laughed and replied, “Because we bulls wobble, but we don’t fall down.”
Arlene: Where do people buy cows?
Darlene: From cattlelogs.
Buddy: Where did the cow and the bull go on their date?
Holly: To the moo-vies, of course!
Old Man from Crewe
There was an old man from Crewe
Who wanted to know how to moo.
He studied a cow
To try and learn how,
But all he could do was boo.
by Author Unknown
Will: What is a cow’s favorite place?
Bill: The moo-seum.
Cows are moo-sically inclined, as they tend to produce more milk when they listen to music.
Warren: What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?
Laura: A moo-sician.
Jimmy: What is the easiest way to count cows?
Timmy: With a cow-culator.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go, who?
No, silly - cows go, “Moo!”
Two cows were standing in a field. The first one said, “Moo.” The second one said, “I was just about to say the same thing.”
This is MFOL! . . . what, you didn’t think that was funny? Well, the cattle sure did!