Make Fun Of Life!

This Red Squirrel Is Seeing Something

6/23/2022

Picture of a Red Squirrel looking with intense interest.

This Red Squirrel is seeing what is on www.MakeFunOfLife.net and is keenly interested . . . perhaps you will be too . . .

If you came here looking for fun, you are in the right place. Just travel down this page, skipping the ridiculous articles, until you come to the ones that appeal to you. When you have a moment, be sure to visit some of the more than 70 other pages on the website, such as the Inspiration Pages and the Silly Pages, which can be explored by clicking or tapping on the drop-down menu near the top of this page or further down this page in the right-hand column as blinking images.

We are MFOL! . . . could squirrels possibly have the best life imaginable?

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Criticism and Criticizing

6/17/2022

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Picture of two human hands, one with a thumb pointed down in disapproval, and one with a thumb pointed up in approval.

“Some people find fault like there’s a reward for it.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’re a mile away from them - and you have their shoes!” -Henny Youngman (Henry ‘Henny’ Youngman (1906 - 1998))

“I never criticize anyone. The way to develop the best that is in a man is by appreciation and encouragement.” -Charles Schwab (Charles Michael Schwab (1862 - 1939))

Critics

What one approves, another scorns,
     And thus his nature each discloses;
You find the rosebush full of thorns,
     I find the thornbush full of roses.

by Arthur Guiterman (1871 - 1943)

“I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.” -Marcus Tullius Cicero (also known as Tully or simply Cicero (106 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.))

“All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.” -Author Unknown

“Never allow anyone to rain on your parade and thus cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day. Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the fault-finding business. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it. Your time is too precious to be sacrificed in wasted days combating the menial forces of hate, jealously, and envy. Guard your fragile life carefully. Only God can shape a flower, but any foolish child can pull it to pieces.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“If criticism had any real power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now.” - Fred Allen (born John Florence Sullivan (1894 - 1956))

“The reason to not take things personally is to understand that what people say about you is a reflection of them, not you.” -Author Unknown

“Wink at small faults.” -John Clarke (1596 - 1658): “Proverbs: English and Latine” (1639)

“The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch somebody else doing it wrong, without comment.” -Theodore H. White (Theodore Harold White (1915 - 1986))

“Sandwich every bit of criticism between two thick layers of praise.” -Mary Kay Ash (born Mary Kathlyn Wagner (1918 - 2001))

“Much of what people attempt to pass off as criticism or even constructive criticism is actually condemnation and an effort to slight or wound or destroy another person. You must develop a hard protective shell around your essential self to stop the slings and arrows of the critical and judgmental people you will encounter throughout your lifetime.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Unkind criticism is never part of a meaningful critique of you. Its purpose is not to teach or to help, its purpose is to punish.” -Barbara Sher (born 1935)

The stones that critics hurl with harsh intent
     A man may use to build his monument.
-Arthur Guiterman (1871 - 1943)

“Long experience has taught me that to be criticized is not always to be wrong.” -Anthony Eden (Robert Anthony Eden (1897 - 1977)): in a speech at the Lord Mayor’s Guildhall banquet during the Suez crisis, as quoted in the “Daily Herald” (10 November 1956) newspaper

Riddle: What is easier to give than receive?
Solution: Criticism.

“A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one would find fault with what he had done.” -John Henry Newman (also known as Cardinal Newman (1801 - 1890))

“Pay no attention to what the critics say. A statue has never been put up in honor of a critic.” -Jean Sibelius (1865 - 1957)

“Criticism is a destroyer of self-worth and esteem.” -H. Burke Peterson (Harold Burke Peterson (1923 - 2013)): ‘Preparing the Heart,’ in “Ensign” (May 1990) magazine, page 83

“A critic is a gong at a railroad crossing clanging loudly and vainly as the train goes by.” -Christopher Morley (Christopher Darlington Morley (1890 - 1957))

“Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

“Criticizing another’s garden does not keep the weeds out of your own.” -Author Unknown

“Since we have so many critics in society, perhaps we need another group of people to criticize the critics, mostly about the fact that there are too many of them.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism.” -Charles Schwab (Charles Michael Schwab (1862 - 1939))

“Sometimes people try to expose what’s wrong with you because they can’t handle everything that’s right about you.” -Author Unknown

“I am not given to finding fault, for there are innumerable fools.” -Plato (about 427 - about 347 B.C.E.): “Protagoras”

“The man who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away.” -Charles M. Schwab (Charles Michael Schwab (1862 - 1939))

“I’m too rich to care what the critics say.” -Mel Gibson (Mel Columcille Gerard Gibson (born 1956))

“Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without comment is a wonderful social grace.” -Judith Martin (born 1938)

“Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours burn any brighter.” -Author Unknown

“He who fancies himself very enlightened, because he sees the deficiencies of others, may be very ignorant, because he has not studied his own.” -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873)

“Make it your habit not to be critical about small things.” -Edward Everett Hale (1822 - 1909): as quoted in Jessie K. Freeman and Sarah S. B. Yule, editors: “Thoughts Selected from the Writings of Favorite Authors” (1901)

“The sad part about life is that we tend to comment only on those who do it wrong and neglect to balance it with praise for those who do it right.” -Keith Ready

“When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.” -Louis Nizer (1902 - 1994)

Hypercritical: Excessively and unreasonably critical, especially of small faults.

“Criticism of others is futile and if you indulge in it often you should be warned that it can be fatal to your career.” -Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955)))

“Movie Critic: A person who gives the best jeers of his or her life to the theater.” -Author Unknown

“What you dislike in another, take care to correct in yourself.” -Thomas Sprat (1635 - 1713)

“People who judge others are insecure about themselves.” -Author Unknown

“To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” - Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955))): “How to Win Friends and Influence People” (October 1936): ‘Part 1: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People,’ page 36

“Judge not, that ye be not judged.” -Matthew: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Matthew,’ chapter 7, verse 1

“If we had no faults we should not take so much pleasure in noting those of others.” -Duc de Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)

“Court not the critic’s smile, nor dread his frown.” -Walter Scott (1771 - 1832)

“The most insignificant people are the most apt to sneer at others. They are safe from reprisals and have no hope of rising in their own self-esteem but by lowering their neighbors.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

“To avoid criticism: Do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 -1915)): as quoted in Fra Elbertus (pseudonym of Elbert Green Hubbard): “The Motto Book” (1909)

“People who try to whittle you down are only trying to reduce you to their size.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t worry about what people say about you; they are busy finding faults in your life instead of fixing the faults in their own lives.” -Author Unknown

“Criticism comes easier than craftsmanship.” -Zeuxis of Heraclea (464 B.C.E. - 400 B.C.E.)

“You can run with the big dogs or sit on the porch and bark.” -Wallace Arnold (Wallace C. Arnold)

“When one dog barks another will join it.” -Author Unknown

“Faults are the easiest things to find.” -Author Unknown

“Wouldn’t it be nice if we could find other things as easily as we find fault?” -Author Unknown

Overheard: People who have time to point out others’ mistakes have time to do some work.

“Criticism is a life without risk.” -John Lahr (born 1941): “Light Fantastic: Adventures in Theatre” (1996)

“Our worst fault is our preoccupation with the faults of others.” -Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931): as quoted in Robin Waterfield, editor: “The Voice of Kahlil Gibran: An Anthology” (1995)

“No matter what you or anyone else does, there will be someone who says that there’s something bad about it. Whenever somebody comes up with a good idea, there’s somebody else who has never had a good idea in his life who stands up and says, ‘Oh, you can’t do that . . .’” -Tom Clancy (Thomas Leo ‘Tom’ Clancy, Junior (1947 - 2013))

“Pay more attention to your Creator than your critics.” -Author Unknown

“Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (Harriett Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940))

“It is better to correct your own faults than those of another.” -Democritus of Abdera (about 460 B.C.E. - about 370 B.C.E.)

“Restrain your tongues in criticism of others. It is so easy to find fault. It is so much nobler to speak constructively.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Go ahead. Judge me. Just remember to be perfect the rest of your life.” -Author Unknown

“Those who can, do. Those who can’t, criticize.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

“Be a doer and not a critic.” -Tony Blair (Anthony Charles Lynton ‘Tony’ Blair (born 1953))

“Criticism does not make you smarter or better than the one you are criticizing. In fact, the stuff you are critical of in others is the same stuff you don’t like about yourself.” -Iyanla Vanzant (born 1953 as Rhonda Eva Harris)

“It is easier to pull down than to build up.” -Author Unknown

“It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are, the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719)

“The price of success is to bear the criticism of envy.” -Denis Waitley (Denis E. Waitley (born 1933))

“When we criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.” -Richard Carlson (1961 - 2006)

“Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember - the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“People criticized me. So I changed. But people still criticized me. So I changed more. And still people criticized me. Then finally I realized it’s what they will do, no matter what. And I changed once more, by no longer listening to those people.” -Brian Vaszily (Brian William Vaszily (born 1970))

“Be an encourager. The world has plenty of critics already.” -Dave Willis (born 1970)

“There’s not the least thing can be said or done, but people will talk and find fault.” -Dante Alighieri (1265 - 1321)

“‘Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,’ he told me, ‘just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages you’ve had.’” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)): “The Great Gatsby,” Chapter 1

“In reality, the world have payed* too great a compliment to critics, and have imagined them men of much greater profundity than they really are.” -Henry Fielding (1707 - 1754): “Tom Jones” (1749), book 5, chapter 1
*payed: variant spelling of ‘paid,’ past-tense of pay.

“The higher we soar, the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“It is ridiculous for any man to criticize the works of another if he has not distinguished himself by his own performances.” -Joseph Addison (1672 - 1719)

“Our souls may lose their peace and even disturb other people’s, if we are always criticizing trivial actions - which often are not real defects at all, but we construe them wrongly through our ignorance of their motives.” -Teresa of Ávila (born Teresa de Cepeda y Ahumada (1515 - 1582))

“When criticized, consider the source.” -Author Unknown

“If you are always finding fault, you will seldom find anything else.” -Author Unknown

“Answer them with silence and indifference. It works better, I assure you, than anger and argument.” -Gioacchino Rossini (Gioacchini Antonio Rossini (1792 - 1868)), commenting on critics

“Let he who is without fault cast the first stone.” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘John,’ chapter 8, verse 7

“The faults we find in others are our own.” -Author Unknown

“Anybody can point out anybody else’s bad qualities. If you want to distinguish yourself, go around pointing out good qualities.” -Author Unknown

“Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own.” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . a website put together by some folks who could have been clowns but who have no costumes - and also no talent for being clowns . . . how’s that for criticism?

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Difficulty and Ease

6/11/2022

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Picture of a happy smiling woman climbing a tree in which a cat is lying on a branch.

Sometimes people choose to do things not because they are easy, but because they are difficult . . .

“We often arrive at ease by first going through difficulty.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“When you have a great and difficult task, something perhaps almost impossible, if you only work a little at a time, every day a little, suddenly the work will finish itself.” -Isak Dinesen (pseudonym of Karen Christenze von Blixen-Finecke (1885 - 1962))

“Have you ever noticed how most things, though certainly not all, turn out to be easier than we had thought they would be once we get started, and the next thing you know, they have been done?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Just because something is difficult does not mean you should not do it.” -Author Unknown

“Obstacles are like wild animals. They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can. If they see you are afraid of them, they are liable to spring upon you; but if you look them squarely in the eye, they will slink out of sight.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1848 - 1924))

“I’m not telling you it is going to be easy; I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.” -Author Unknown

“All things are difficult before they are easy.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 560

“Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven’t half the strength you think they have.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do. Not that the nature of the thing has changed, but our ability to do has increased.” -David O. McKay (David Oman McKay (1873 - 1970))

“The distance is nothing; it is only the first step that is difficult.” [translation to English]
“La distance n’y fait rien; il n’y a que le premier pas qui coute.” [original French]
-Marie de Vichy-Chamrond (1697 - 1780): letter (7 July 1763) to Jean Le Rond d’Alembert

“Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.” -Henry Ford (1863-1947)

“Everything is difficult at first.” -Author Unknown

Picture of a man looking over the top of a large rock he is climbing, with a clear blue sky in the background.

“The level path is easy, but it will not bring you to the mountaintop.” -Idel Dreimer

“Most obstacles melt away when we make up our minds to walk boldly through them.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“I am always looking for an easier way of doing everything . . . not that I’m lazy, but that it gives me more life-energy to put into other things.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.” -Lucius Annaeus Seneca (also known as Seneca the Younger or simply Seneca (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“The problem of life is not to make life easier, but to make people stronger.” -David Starr Jordan (1851 - 1931)

“If you want to make an easy job harder, just keep putting it off.” -William James (1842 - 1910): as quoted in “The Letters of William James” (1920), ‘To Carl Stumpf’ (1 January 1886)

“Putting off an easy thing makes it hard. Putting off a hard think makes it impossible.” -George C. Lorimer (George Claude Lorimer (1838 - 1904))

“Take the gentle path.” -George Herbert (1593 - 1633)

“There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.” -Terence (Publius Terentius Afer (about 185 B.C.E. - 159 B.C.E.)): “Heauton Timoroumenos” (English: “The Self-Tormentor”)

“It never becomes easy; it becomes possible.” -Agnes de Mille (1905 - 1993)

“The most difficult jobs look easy until you try to do them.” -William Feather (William Arthur Feather (1889 - 1981)): as quoted in Ted Landphair: “Featherisms” (6 October 2008)

“If your path is more difficult, it is because your calling is higher.” -Author Unknown

“A life of ease is a difficult pursuit.” -William Cowper (1731 - 1800)

“Nothing is easy to the unwilling.” -Nikki Giovanni (Yolande Cornelia ‘Nikki’ Giovanni, Junior (born 1943))

“In this age which believes that there is a short cut to everything, the greatest lesson to be learned is that the most difficult way is in the long run the easiest.” -Henry Miller (Henry Valentine Miller (1891 - 1980))

“Absorption in ease is one of the most reliable signs of present or impending decay.” -Richard Weaver

“There is no fruit that is not bitter before it is ripe.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks.” -Jack Penn

“Sometimes there’s only the hard way.” -Mary E. Pearson

“Nothing worthwhile comes easily. Half effort does not produce half results. It produces no results. Work, continuous work and hard work, is the only way to accomplish results that last.” -Hamilton Holt

“If you only do what is easy, you will always remain weak.” -Joyce Meyer (born 1943 as Pauline Joyce Hutchison)

“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.” -Beverly Sills (1929 - 2007)

“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained.” -Marie Curie (Marie Sklodowska-Curie (1867 - 1934))

“It has been my philosophy of life that difficulties vanish when faced boldly.” -Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

“When eating an elephant, take one bite at a time.” -Creighton W. Abrams (Creighton Williams Abrams, Junior (1914 - 1974))

“One thing you learn the hard way is that there is no easy way.” -Author Unknown

“Painting is easy when you don’t know how but very difficult when you do.” -Edgar Degas (born Hilaire-Germain-Edgar De Gas (1834 - 1917))

“If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you.” -Louis Brandeis (Louis Dembitz Brandeis (1856 - 1941))

“Once we truly know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, it no longer matters.” -Scott Peck (1936 - 2005): “The Road Less Traveled” (1978)

“Work hard to make things easier.” -Pete Carril (Peter Joseph ‘Pete’ Carril (born 1930))

“Don’t confuse your path with your destination. Just because it’s stormy now doesn’t mean that you aren’t headed for sunshine.” -Author Unknown

“Obstacles are great incentives.” -Jules Michelet (1798 - 1874)

“What we hope ever to do with ease, we must first learn to do with diligence.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“In no direction that we turn do we find ease or comfort. If we are honest and if we have the will to win, we find only danger, hard work, and iron resolution.” -Wendall Willkie (Wendell Lewis Willkie (1892 - 1944))

“Looking back we see with great clarity, and what once appeared as difficulties now reveal themselves as blessings.” -Dan Millman (Daniel Jay ‘Dan’ Millman (born 1946))

“It’s easy if you try.” -Author Unknown

We are MFOL! . . . that wasn’t difficult at all . . . tee-hee-hee . . . tee-hee-hee . . .

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A Wise Person Once Said

6/3/2022

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Picture of a statue of Till Eulenspiegel, a prankster character found in folk tales, in this instance holding a mirror in one hand while an owl is perched on his other hand, with a clear blue sky in the background.

A wise person once said, “I am a fool, too, sometimes.”

A wise person once said, “Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.”

A wise person once said, “With great power comes great electricity bill.”

“Who is a wise man? He who learns of all men.” -Author Unknown

A wise person once said, "You never know until you find out." -Author Unknown

A wise person once said, “Person who sits on floor will not fall off chair.”

A wise person once said, “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”

A wise person once said, “When nothing goes right, go left.”

A wise person once said, “Folks often make fun of the wisdom of those they take for fools, while scarcely noticing the foolishness of those whom they imagine to be wise.”

A wise person once said, “If ignorance is bliss, why are there not more happy people?”

A wise person once said, “Person who jumps through screen door likely to ‘strain’ self.”

A wise person once said, “No matter where you go, there you are.”

A wise person once said, “Person who runs in front of car will get ‘tired.’”

A wise person once said, “Person who runs behind car will get ‘exhausted.’”

A wise person once said, “Work eight hours and sleep eight hours, but not the same eight hours.”

A wise person once said, “Don’t believe everything you think.”

A wise person once said, “A wise person lowers a ladder before he jumps into a pit.”

A wise person once said, “Woman has small feet to be able to stand close to kitchen sink, and also wears high heels to be able to reach dishes on top shelf. Also, man who says this needs to take out the garbage and walk the dog.”

A wise person once said, “Take my advice - I’m certainly not using it.”

A wise person once said, “With time and patience, the banana at last becomes the monkey.”

A wise person once said, “If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.”

A wise person once said, “Person who laughs last, does not get joke.”

Be wise to-day;
’tis madness to defer.
-Edward Young (1683 - 1765)

A wise person once said, “Two wrongs do not make right, but two lefts make U-turn.”

“Dare to be wise!” [translation to English]
“Sapere aude!” [original Latin]
-Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.))

A wise person once said, “One who sits on tack gets point.”

A wise person once said, “A wise person listens no matter how stupidly someone is talking.”

A wise person once said, “A neat desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.”

A wise person once said, “In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.”

A wise person once said, “Never argue with fool . . . he may be doing the same thing.”

A wise person once said, “A person who drives like Hell is bound to get there.”

A wise person once said, “Practice moderation in everything, even in moderation itself.”

A wise person once said, “A day without sunshine is like night.”

A wise person once said, “Person who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing.”

A wise person once said, “Starving person with one chopstick goes hungry.”

A wise person once said, “Women take to good hearted men, also from.”

“The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

A wise person once said, “A closed mouth gathers no feet.”

A wise person once said, “It is colder outside than it would be if it was warmer than it is.”

A wise person once said, “All’s fear in love and war.”

A wise person once said, “I’m still waiting patiently for the wisdom that supposedly comes with age.”

A wise person once said, “At night it gets dark.”

A wise person once said, “Adults are just wrinkled kids who owe money.”

“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise.” -Solomon

A wise person once said, “People who eat cookies in bed wake up feeling crummy.”

A wise person once said, “Sometimes it is hard for a person to get away from him or herself.”

A wise person once said, “Grease monkey who goes to bed without bathing wakes up oily in the morning.”

A wise person once said, “Person who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.”

A wise person once said, “Without wisdom, knowledge is more stupid than ignorance.”

A wise person once said, “Best time to buy new mattress, at first sign of spring.”

A wise person once said, “If you do not give something, you will not get anything.”

A wise person once said, “You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.”

A wise person once said, “If you believe everything you read, better that you should not read.”

A wise person once said, “Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.”

A wise person once said, “A smile is your personal welcome mat.”

A wise person once said, “The reverse side also has a reverse side.”

A wise person once said, “To make eggroll, push it.”

A wise person once said, “Those who throw dirt, lose ground.”

A wise person once said, “Don’t take any wooden nickels! Wait! Wooden nickels might be antiques or valuable collectors’ items, so better take them all!”

A wise person once said, “Every wise person started out by asking many questions.”

A wise person once said, “Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.”

A wise person once said, “If you do not change the direction in which you are going, you will end up where you are headed.”

A wise person once said, “Person who attempts to stand on wall will soon be floored.”

This is MFOL! . . . the internet’s most mildly amusing website . . .

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Appearances and Looks

5/25/2022

1 Comment

Picture of a mirror with the words, ‘Warning: Reflections in this mirror may be distorted by socially constructed ideas.’

“Some of the most beautiful women I have ever met tell me, ‘I hate myself when I look in the mirror.’ I hear that again and again” -Henry Miller (1891 - 1980)

“To all the girls who think they’re fat because they’re not a size zero, you’re the beautiful ones; it’s society who’s ugly.” -Marilyn Monroe (Norma Jean Mortenson (1926 - 1962))

“Beauty is a mystery. You can neither eat it nor make flannel out of it.” -David Herbert Lawrence (1885 - 1930)

“I used to be very self-conscious. I used to wish I was pretty. My cousin Georgia always taught me that if you smile, people will like you. Sometimes people will say something you don’t like, and you get angry a bit, but you just smile. You let it go by, even if you really would like to choke ’em. By smiling, I think I’ve made more friends than if I was the other way.” -Ella Fitzgerald (1918 - 1996)

“Won’t you come into my garden? I would like my roses to see you.” -Richard B. Sheridan (Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751 - 1816))

Keep up appearances; there lies the test;
     The world will give thee credit for the rest.
-Charles Churchill (1731 - 1764): “Night” (1761), lines 311 and 312

“A plain face is often surprisingly beautiful by reason of an inner light.” -Henry E. Walbery

“Real beauty isn’t about symmetry or weight or makeup; it’s about looking life right in the face and seeing all its magnificence reflected in your own.” -Valerie Monroe

“Some of you may feel that you are not as attractive and beautiful and glamorous as you would like to be. Rise above any such feelings, cultivate the light you have within you, and it will shine through as a radiant expression that will be seen by others.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“Do not judge others by appearances; a rich heart may be under a poor coat.” -Author Unknown: Scottish proverb

“Beauty isn’t about having a pretty face. It’s about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart, and a pretty soul.” -Author Unknown

Beauty to no complexion is confined,
     Is of all colors, and by none defined.
-George Granville (1666 - 1735)

“First impressions are the most lasting.” -Jonas Hanway (1712 - 1786): “A Journal of Eight Days Journey” (1756)

“Beauty isn’t something on the outside. It’s your insides that count! You gotta eat green stuff to make sure you’re pretty on the inside.” -Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka, and Toshihiro Kawabata: “Animal Crossing: Wild World” (2005)

Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a body image condition that causes some people to imagine they presently have, or will later develop, physical deformities. Most people with the condition are not all that different from other people in appearance; it is just that their perception of themselves is erroneously distorted by inner or outer influences. BDD is also known by the term ‘dysmorphophobia,’ which is derived from the Greek words ‘dys’ meaning ‘abnormal,’ ‘morphe’ meaning ‘form,’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’ The good news is that the condition can be treated through therapeutic psychological counseling and by other methods.

“There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): “Essays” (1625), ‘Of Beauty’

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
     but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
     the passion that she knows.
-Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)

“The beauty does not live out there; the beauty’s in my eyes.” -Jonathan Lockwood Huie (born 1945)

He: My, what lovely eyes you have!
She: I am glad you like them. They were a birthday present.

“Do not judge men by mere appearances; for the light laughter that bubbles on the lip often mantles over the depths of sadness, and the serious look may be the sober veil that covers a divine peace and joy. The bosom can ache beneath diamond brooches; and many a blithe heart dances under coarse wool.” -E. H. Chapin (Edwin Hubbell Chapin (1814 - 1880))

She is not fair to outward view
     As many maidens be;
Her loveliness I never knew
     Until she smiled on me:
Oh! then I saw her eye was bright,
     A well of love, a spring of light.
-Hartley Coleridge (David Hartley ‘Hartley’ Coleridge (1796 - 1849)): “Poems” (1851), ‘She Is Not Fair’

“I am not beautiful like you. I am beautiful like me.” -Author Unknown

“Appearances often deceive.” -Author Unknown: English saying

“It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910)): “The Kreutzer Sonata” (1889)

“The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.” -Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972)

“Physical differences are what make it possible for our friends to find us in a crowd.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Beauty is nothing other than the promise of happiness.” [translation to English]
“La beauté n’est que la promesse du bonheur.” [original French]
-Stendhal (Marie-Henri Beyle (1783 - 1842)): “De L’Amour” (English: “On Love”) (1822), chapter 17, footnote

“Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless: peacocks and lilies, for example.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900): “The Stones of Venice” (1853), Volume I, chapter II, section 17

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” -Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990)

“Outer beauty pleases the eye. Inner beauty captivates the heart.” -Mandy Hale (born 1978): “The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass” (2013)

Picture of a young woman looking into a mirror.

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The Ugly Duckling Syndrome

“The Ugly Duckling” is a story about someone who was not really ugly at all; he was just different. The other ducks teased and pecked at him with their beaks until the ugly duckling flew away. He wandered around for a year, and was treated as an outcast everywhere. In the Spring, he saw a group of swans on a lake, and wanted very much to join them. As he swam out toward them, he was astounded to notice his reflection in the water - he was a swan! The other swans welcomed him warmly, and found him to be beautiful.

Like many fairy tales, “The Ugly Duckling” was created with a lesson, or moral, in mind, if we will listen or read with the idea of finding it.

Most of us go through times when we feel different from those around us. These can be painful and lonely times, but it does not mean there is anything wrong with us. Like the ugly duckling, we will come into a time and place when we will be loved. All the pain and loneliness we have felt will one day be a fading memory.

“I never dreamed of so much happiness when I was the ugly duckling.” -Hans Christian Andersen (1805 - 1875): “The Ugly Duckling” (11 November 1843)

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Her very frowns are fairer far
     Than smiles of other maidens are.
-Hartley Coleridge (David Hartley ‘Hartley’ Coleridge (1796 - 1849)): “Poems” (1851), ‘She Is Not Fair’

“You know who’s beautiful? Read this first word.” -Author Unknown

“You were created in God’s image. God makes no mistakes. To put yourself down for the way you are is to insult God’s handiwork. You are beautiful.” -Author Unknown

“You are beautiful inside and out.” -Author Unknown

“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.” -Sophia Loren (pseudonym of Sophia Sciccoloni (born 1934))

What do you think makes a person good-looking?

“I used to look in the mirror and feel shame; I look in the mirror now and I absolutely love myself.” -Drew Barrymore (Drew Blyth Barrymore (born 1975))

“Trust not too much to an enchanting face.” -Vergil (Publius Vergilius Maro, also known as Virgil (70 B.C.E. - 19 B.C.E.))

“The best part of beauty is that which no picture can express.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): as quoted in Edward Bulwer-Lytton: “Falkland” (1827)

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” -Margaret Wolfe Hungerford (1855 - 1897): “Molly Bawn” (1878)

“The beauty seen is partly in him who sees it.” -Christian Bovée (Christian Nestell Bovée (1820 - 1904))

“Common-looking people are the best in the world. That is the reason the Lord made so many of them.” -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

“Beauty is a radiance that originates from within and comes from inner security and strong character.” -Jane Seymour (pseudonym of Joyce Penelope Wilhelmina Frankenberg (born 1951))

“Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.” -Hedy Lamarr (Hedwig Eva Maria Kiesler (1914 - 2000))

“I cannot tell you how many times people have come up to me to compliment me on my lavish figure.” -Miss Piggy, as quoted in Henry Beard: “Miss Piggy’s Guide to Life” (1981)

“No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment . . . Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘1st Peter,’ chapter 3, verses 3 and 4

“A beautiful thing is never perfect.” -Author Unknown

“It is the common wonder of all men, how among so many millions of faces there should be none alike.” -Thomas Browne (1605 - 1682): “Religio Medici” (1643), Part II, Section 2

“Always try to look your best, because you never get a second chance to make a first impression, and first impressions are lasting impressions.” -Author Unknown

“Beauty starts in your head, not in your mirror.” -Joubert Botha

“A woman deserves no credit for her beauty at twenty, but at sixty, her beauty is of her own doing.” -Author Unknown

O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us
     To see oursels as ithers see us!
-Robert Burns (1759 - 1796): “To a Louse” (1786)

In Standard English, the above lines would be as follows:
And would some Power the small gift give us
     To see ourselves as others see us!

“There are no ugly women, there are women who do not know how to look pretty.” -Jean de La Bruyère (1645 - 1696)

“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.” -Sophia Loren (pseudonym of Sophia Sciccoloni (born 1934))

“Beware so long as you live, of judging people by appearances.” -Jean de La Fontaine (1621 - 1695)

Never judge someone
     By the way he looks
Or a book by the way it’s covered;
     For inside those tattered pages,
There’s a lot to be discovered
-Stephen Cosgrove (born 1945)

“If being beautiful in the eyes of the Creator means being ugly in the eyes of the created, then it’s worth it.” -Author Unknown

“You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older.” -Anouk Aimée (pseudonym of Nicole Françoise Florence Dreyfus (born 1932))

“The appearances of things change according to the emotions and thus we see magic and beauty in them, while the magic and beauty are really in ourselves.” -Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)

Appearances and Looks Quiz
- What is the meaning of the word ‘beauty’?
- What is the meaning of the phrase ‘inner beauty’?
- Why might you not want to answer your door dressed and groomed sloppily?

“I’m beautiful in my own way because God makes no mistakes.” -Author Unknown

Appearances and Looks Quiz Answers
- Beauty is the quality of being pleasing to the mind.
- Inner beauties are virtues such as goodness, politeness, and caring.
- Always answer the door dressed and groomed well, because you never know when you might be greeting the Queen or the President.

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” -Confucius (K’ung Fu-tzu or K’ung Ch’iu (about 551 B.C.E. - about 479 B.C.E.))

“I am, as I am; whether hideous, or handsome, depends upon who is made judge.” -Herman Melville (1819 - 1891)

“Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them.” -David Hume (1711 - 1776)

“People who are ‘animated’ are more attractive.” -Author Unknown

“It’s not the face, but the expressions on it. It’s not the voice, but what you say. It’s not how you look in that body, but the thing you do with it. You are beautiful.” -Stephenie Meyer (born 1973): “The Host” (6 May 2008)

“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” -Coco Chanel (Gabrielle Bonheur ‘Coco’ Chanel (1883 - 1971))

“That’s the thing about inner beauty: Unlike physical beauty, which grabs the spotlight for itself, inner beauty shines on everyone, catching them, holding them in its embrace, making them more beautiful too.” -Author Unknown

“Anyone is automatically a lot more attractive when they’re funny.” -Author Unknown

The folks at Make Fun Of Life! hope you will laugh a little more, learn a little more, and love life a little more . . . each and every day . . . we just want you to be happy.

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Pirates

5/17/2022

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Picture of a pirate on a ship holding a musket in one hand and holding his other hand up over his eyes to shield them from the sun as he tries to look at something.

When considering career options, do not overlook the possibility of becoming a pirate. To learn more about this potentially lucrative field of work and to find out if a pirate’s life might be right for you, simply continue reading . . .

Rich: What are pirates afraid of?
Rick: The darrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk!

Serendipity: What kind of socks does a pirate wear?
Felicity: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgyle!

Agatha: What does a fancy pirate add to his dinner?
Agnes: A garrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnish!

Pirates: No-good people who most assuredly arrive at a no-good end.

Real-life pirates are murderous, thieving, low-life criminal scum who steal ships and have historically met their end on the hangman’s noose, and in more recent times have been sent to filthy, overcrowded, rat-infested prisons for the remainder of their miserable days, but we will have some fun at their expense nonetheless.

Morris: Where do pirates keep their cookies?
Morton: In cookie jarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs!

Amelia: How much did the pirate pay for his peg-leg and hook-hand?
Emily: An arm and a leg!

William the Crook

A pirate named William the Crook,
Serves his crew with his gigantic hook,
“I impale some marshmallows,
Toast them up for the fellows,
Make some cocoa, and read them a book.”

by Author Unknown

Bucky: How do pirates know that they are pirates?
Skippy: They think, therefore they arrr.

Picture of a rustic wooden chest with three locks and carrying handles on its ends.

Forget about the treasure chests shown in pretend pirate movies - the one shown above is how a real treasure chest would have looked. What, is it not glamorous enough for the likes of you? Aaarrr, well, suit yourself. If by chance you want to see what an authentic pirate chest would have held inside, continue reading and you will soon come to a picture of real pirate loot, shown further below.

Clark: Why can you not take a picture of a pirate with a wooden leg?
Kent: Because a wooden leg does not take pictures!

Tucker: What goes, “99-thump, 99-thump?”
Tyler: A pirate centipede with a wooden leg.

Most people only ever see fancy ‘made for the movies’ pirates. What could you expect to see from a real pirate? A real pirate would be wearing filthy rags and have the dreaded scurvy, and because we would not want to disgust you by showing you such a person, we won’t! Now let’s all make pirate noises. Rrr! Arrr! Rrr-rrr-rrr!

Annette: Where do pirates park their ships?
Nettie: In the harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrbor!

Merrill: What is a pirate’s second favorite type of transportation?
Marla: A carrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Scurvy is a preventable health condition caused by going too long without eating foods containing vitamin C, as some seafarers such as pirates do. The symptoms are too horrible to describe here, so just be sure to eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables so that you do not become a scurvy pirate!

Byron: What “Star Wars” character is really a pirate?
Myron: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-2-D-2!

Helga: What is a pirate’s favorite doll?
Hilda: Barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrbie!

A pirate ship came ashore for a night at a mysterious island between Arabia and India. The first mate ended up in an eatery sitting at a table with an oil lamp on it. The lamp was dirty, so he rubbed it clean, and a genie came out, promising to grant him any three wishes he wanted. Immediately he wished for a huge mug of cold apple cider that would never run dry. “Granted,” said the genie. Excitedly the pirate downed the entire mug, and as promised, it magically refilled itself. He emptied it again, and it again magically refilled, just as he had wished. “This is great!” he said. “And what about your second and third wishes?” asked the genie. The pirate, still delighted about his magic mug, quickly replied, “I’ll have two more just like this!”

Picture of a pile of old worn-down gold and silver coins.

This pirate treasure may not be much to look at, but to a real pirate, it is the stuff of dreams. Up until quite recent times, coins were basically lumps of metal such as silver, copper, gold, or alloys (combinations of different metals melted together) that had been hammered flat or made by clumsily pouring molten metal into rough molds. Old coins from the time of pirates and sailing ships often were not perfectly round, not very shiny, and were well-worn-down, but were nonetheless valuable.

Jeffrey: What did the pirate ship captain keep in his musical treasure chest?
Geoffrey: The lute!

Pirate from Nertskinski

A pirate who hailed from Nertskinski
Became so exceedingly thinski
That while cleaning his gun,
When the day’s fight was done,
He looked down the bore and fell inski.

by Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898))

Pearl: How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced for earrings?
Cora: A buccaneer!

Cassandra: Where do pirates get their hair cut?
Cassie: At the barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrber shop!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting pirate!
Interrup -
Arrrrrr!

Knock, scratch, knock.
Who’s there?
Captain Hook.

Jack: What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
Jake: You would think it is the ‘r’ but it is really the ‘c.’

Pirate ship: A thugboat.

Picture of an old dilapidated sailing ship docked in a harbor.

Pirates often did not take pride in their vessels, so what we see here is typical of the sad state of disrepair in which a gang of murderous thieves would have kept a ship.

Connie: What clings to the underside of pirate ships and slows them down?
Constance: Barrrrrrnacles!

For any landlubbers who might be foolhardy enough to want to learn about real pirates, we heartily recommend the book, “Thomas Jefferson and the Tripoli Pirates” (3 November 2015) by Brian Kilmeade and Don Yaeger. You can get it into your grubby paws by making a visit to your local library, or you can exchange some gold doubloons or whatever currency you might have for it at your favorite bookseller.

Martin: What is a buccaneer?
Mortimer: What pirates pay for corn these days.

A man went to the employment office looking for work. He was told that he could have the part of Long John Silver in a new movie version of “Treasure Island.” “That’s marvelous!” said the man. “How much will I be paid?” “Ten thousand dollars a week,” was the reply. “Great!” said the man. “So do I start acting on Monday?” “Oh, no,” said the clerk. “On Monday, you’re having your leg amputated.”

Pirate Pete: What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs and two hands?
Pirate Paul: Rookie.

Toby: When do pirates plant trees?
Tobias: On Arrrborrr Day! (For to make their wooden legs, don’t you be a-knowin’!)

Swashbuckling: To engage in daring and romantic adventures with ostentatious bravado or flamboyance. Aaarrr, don’t ask us, we really don’t know what that means, either.

Erma: Why could the pirate not play cards?
Myrna: Because the captain was standing on the deck!

Pegleg: Why do pirate ships have Global Positioning System (GPS) devices?
Captain Hook: So that pirates always know where they arrr-rrr!

Picture of a pirate flag with a skull and crossbones on it flying from a flagpole and a clear blue sky in the background.

A flag bearing a black field, upon which is displayed a skull and crossbones, is associated with pirate ships . . . but what if real pirates do not give such warnings, instead preferring to make surprise sneak attacks, or raids, upon sleepy coastal towns and unprotected merchant trading ships?

Agatha: Why did the pirate take his mother to the movie theater with him?
Amanda: Because the movie was rated ‘arrrrrr!’

Creative types think pirates are so great that they are making up new kinds of pirates: pirate princesses, pirate cheerleaders, pirate cats, pirate fairies . . . how much further can this silliness go?

Pirate cheerleaders have it easy: “Give me an Rrrrrr!”

Astor: Why are pirates called pirates?
Reed: They just arrrrrr!

Naomi: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Vanessa: Because they spend years at ‘c’!

A Pirate of Boulder

There was a bold pirate of Boulder
Whose cutlass was slung from his shoulder.
He’d mighty fine notions
Of plundering oceans,
But his mom said, “Perhaps when you’re older.”

by Graham Lester at https://grahamlester.webs.com/index.htm

Dudley: What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Smedley: “Aye, matey!”

Milford: What is a pirate’s second career choice?
Milton: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrchitect!

A common belief about pirates is that they made people walk along a plank until they fell into the sea, where they would be eaten by sharks. This popular notion simply is not true; author James Matthew Barrie made it up for his children’s storybook, “Peter Pan” (1928).

Riddle: What has eight arms and eight legs and eight eyes?
Solution: Eight pirates!

Patrice: What is a pirate’s favorite hobby?
Tricia: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt.

“I’ll never pet an alligator again,” Captain Hook said offhandedly.

Lydia: What is a pirate’s favorite country?
Lynette: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgentina!

Renée: Where do pirates put their trash?
Sheila: In the garrrrrrrrrrrrrrrbage can!

Mack: What does a pirate do after saying, “Arrr!” one too many times?
Cam: Ask if anybody has a sore throat lozenge.

Blake: Why does Captain Hook have trouble telling time?
Caleb: His second hand keeps falling off.

Sue: What does a vegetarian pirate do?
Stu: He starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrves!

Picture of a toy pirate ship made from a block of Styrofoam with a thin sheet of plywood atop it, a thin wooden stick for a mast, and a piece of a paper for a sail, with a skull and crossbones drawn by hand on the sail. The toy pirate ship is floating in a pond.

Well, shiver me timbers, laddies and lassies, thar’s pirates in them thar waters! Yes, indeed, the pirates aaaaaarrr coming, the pirates aaaaaarrr coming! Quick, we’d better think up some more pirate jokes before they get here so we can entertain them! More fun and learning is coming up next . . . on MFOL!

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Shopping

5/9/2022

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Picture of a man shopping in a store for a suit.

“Whenever you buy something from a small local business, an actual person does a little happy dance.” -Author Unknown

“I don’t play sports. The only strenuous activity I do is shopping. But there’s a lot of walking involved in that - running sometimes, if there’s a sale.” -Author Unknown

“About eighty percent of the food on shelves of supermarkets today didn’t exist 100 years ago.” -Larry McCleary

To Market

To market, to market,
     To buy a fat pig,
Home again, home again,
     Jiggety jig,

To market, to market,
     To buy a fat hog,
Home again, home again,
     Jiggety jog,

To market, to market,
     To buy a plum bun,
Home again, home again,
     Market is done.

by Author Unknown

“I bet deep down you still wish your mom would take you clothes shopping every August for the new school year.” -Bridget Willard

“The woman just ahead of you at the supermarket checkout has all the delectable groceries you didn’t even know they carried.” -Mignon McLaughlin

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, “No, ma’am, we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any soon.” Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, “That isn’t true, ma’am. Of course, we’ll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago.” Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, “Never, never, never, never say we don’t have something. If we don’t have it, say we ordered it and it’s on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?” “Rain.”

“I’ve been shopping all my life and still have nothing to wear!” -Sally Poplin

“I always make a list before I go to the grocery store. Sometimes I even remember to bring it with me.” -Author Unknown

“Grocery list (grow•sree list), noun: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.” -Author Unknown

“The best things in life are free. The second-best are very expensive.” -Coco Chanel

“When the checker at the supermarket asked my uncle if he would like the milk in a bag, my uncle replied, ‘No, just leave it in the carton.’” -Author Unknown

“Self-Checkout Line - The place where customers of an establishment become unpaid employees of the establishment.” -Richard E. Turner (1937 - 2011): “The Curmudgeon’s Short Dictionary of Modern Phrases” (about 2009), ‘The Grammar Curmudgeon, a.k.a. ‘The Mudge’’

Overheard: Today I went to the corner shop - and bought four corners.

“Everything is worth what its purchaser will pay for it.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.): as attributed in Darius Lyman: “The Moral Sayings of Publius Syrus, a Roman Slave: from the Latin” (1856): “Sententiae,” Maxim 847

Overheard: The food at the convenience store in my neighborhood is so old that the expiration dates are in Roman numerals.

“When you go out to buy, don’t show your silver.” -Author Unknown

Grocery Store Bagger, speaking to Customer: Paper or plastic?
Customer: Surprise me!

“The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.” -Erma Bombeck (Erma Louise Bombeck (born Erma Louise Fiste (1927 - 1996)))

“I went into a general store. They wouldn’t let me buy anything specifically.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

Picture taken inside a shop at the cashier station with a sign reading, ‘Please Squeak Toy For Cashier, Thank You’ and a gray toy plastic elephant squeaky toy next to it.

Dolly: What do you get when alien teenagers invade shopping malls on Earth?
Molly: Clothes encounters of the weird kind.

“If it’s good, they’ll stop making it.” -Herbert Block

Two men were lost in the desert. They were desperate for water, but just as they thought there was no hope, they chanced upon a village where market day was in full swing. They went to the first market stall they saw, and asked if they could buy some water. “No,” replied the stall owner, “I only sell fruit. Try the next stall.” So off they went to the next stall and again they asked for water. “Sorry,” said the merchant, “but I only sell custard.” “Custard?” one of the men said to the other, “What kind of place is this?” By then completely desperate, they went to the next stall, only to be told, “Sorry, but I only sell jelly.” Hearing this, one of the thirsty men turned to the other and asked, “Do you think this is a trifle bazaar?”

Overheard: Whenever I am at the market, I always seem to get the shopping cart with the one bad wheel.

Rule 1: The customer is always right.
Rule 2: If the customer is ever wrong, reread rule 1.
-Stew Leonard: policy of Stew Leonard’s dairy stores.

“When I was in the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, ‘Are you two an item?’” -Author Unknown

So a guy walked into an antiques store and asked, “What’s new?”

“Three women and a goose make a market.” -Author Unknown

“I’m obsessed with shopping. I’ll get these urges to buy, like to shop for stuff on the internet. I search for all kinds of weird gizmos I could get.” -Tom Felton

Customer to bookstore owner: “I would like to return this book on modern medical procedures.”
Owner: “Is something wrong with it?”
Customer: “Someone removed the appendix.”

“Ill ware is never cheape.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in George Herbert (1593 - 1633): “Jacula Prudentum; or Outlandish Proverbs, Sentences, &c. Selected by Mr. George Herbert” (1651), proverb 61

The manager of a grocery store nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was escorting the suspect to the office in the front of the store near the cash registers, when the shoplifter broke from his grip and tried to run away. After a scuffle, the store manager pinned him against the wall and looked up to see a number of surprised customers staring at him. “Everything’s fine, folks,” he reassured them. “This guy just tried to go through the express line with more than ten items.”

Sign at a farmer’s market: Please Do Not Put All Of Your Eggs In One Basket.

“Don’t a fellow feel good after he gets out of a store where he nearly bought something.” -Frank McKinney Hubbard (Frank McKinney ‘Kin’ Hubbard (1868 - 1930))

Question: What is the most expensive vehicle to operate?
Answer: A shopping cart.

Shopper: Someone who goes buy-buy.

Overheard: Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

Customer: Have you anything for gray hair?
Clerk: Nothing but the greatest respect.

The first product to have a UPC bar code on its packaging was Wrigley’s gum.

“Pleasing ware is halfe sould.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in George Herbert (1593 - 1633): “Jacula Prudentum; or Outlandish Proverbs, Sentences, &c. Selected by Mr. George Herbert” (1651), number 14

A small storeowner was being pressured to sell his store to the owners of a large department store, who had bought every building on the block, except his. Frustrated by the man’s refusal to sell, they eventually opened their huge store on either side of the small one, with a big banner running from one side to the other, proclaiming in huge letters “Grand Opening.” Below it, across the front of his small store, the man put up a small banner over his door: “Main Entrance.”

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts cannot easily reach everything.

Rumor has it that the best time to buy a new car is at the end of the month, because the sales people want their monthly reports to look good.

Huan: What are cashiers in China called?
Lok: Chinese checkers.

“Cheap things are not good; good things are not cheap.” -Author Unknown

The proprietor of a highly successful optical shop was instructing his son on how to charge a customer. “Son,” he said, “after you have fitted the glasses, and the customer asks what the charge will be, you say,” ‘The charge is 98 dollars.’ Then you pause and wait to see if he flinches. If the customer doesn’t flinch, you then say, “For the frames. The lenses will be another 98 dollars.” Then you pause again, this time only slightly, and watch for the flinch. If he doesn’t flinch this time, you say firmly, “Each.”

“Shopping: Retail therapy.” -Joe Heuer

“A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980))

Sales Clerk to Customer: “This is an actual fire sale. The boss said that if I do not make a sale today, I am fired.”

Overheard: Aspirin, 300 for $2.87 - at that price, I can’t afford not to have a headache!

“Gift Shop: A place where you can see all of the things that you hope your relatives will not send to you for Christmas.” -Author Unknown

“Supermarket entrance: Say hello to good buys.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

“I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, “Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.” He said, ‘Yes, but not in a row.’” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“There is hardly anything in the world that some man can’t make a little worse and sell a little cheaper, and the people who consider price only are this man’s lawful prey.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“The other line moves faster.” -Etorre

“I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.” -Tommy Cooper

“Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?” -Author Unknown

Who buys,
Had need of an hundred Eyes;
But one’s enough,
For him that sells the Stuff.
-Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia” (1732), number 6129

“A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.” -Author Unknown

“Let the buyer beware.” -John Fitzherbert: “A Book of Husbandry” (1523)

Shopping Tip: Do not shop when you are hungry. Shop after eating something, otherwise you will be tempted to buy everything that looks good and is edible in the store, including things you normally would not buy, things that you should not buy, and things that can ruin your diet and your budget.

“He is never likely to have a good thing cheap who is afraid to ask the price.” -Author Unknown

“We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.” -Henny Youngman (Henry ‘Henny’ Youngman (1906 - 1998))

“People will buy anything that’s one to a customer.” -Sinclair Lewis (1885 - 1951)

“Buying something on sale is a special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it’s worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?” -Rita Rudner

“Right or wrong, the customer is always right.” -Marshall Field

This is MFOL! . . . your one-stop shop for humor and inspiration and learning . . .

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Love

5/1/2022

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Picture of a pair of yellow-collared lovebirds, a type of parrot, with both the male and female of the species having identical plumage, in this instance, green, black, and yellow feathers, and distinctive red beaks and white outlines where the beaks meet the face and also around the eyes.

Aren’t you two just the cutest little lovebirds?

“To love and be loved, is to feel the Sun from both sides.” -David Viscott (David Steven Viscott (1938 - 1996))

“You don’t have to be perfect to be worth loving.” -Harold S. Kushner (Harold Samuel Kushner (born 1935))

Book of Love

If I could read you like a book,
     And if I chanced to steal a look,
I wonder if I’d find that you
     Were just as faithful, and as true
In chapter four, page sixty-seven
     As you were on page eleven?

by Author Unknown

“Where there is great love, there are always miracles.” -Willa Sibert Cather (born Wilella Sibert Cather (1873 - 1947))

“Love is metaphysical gravity.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” -Dr. Seuss (pseudonym of Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 - 1991))

Melissa: Do you love me with all your heart?
Fred: Uh-huh.
Melissa: Do you think I am the most beautiful woman in the world?
Fred: Uh-huh.
Melissa: Am I the only one for you?
Fred: Uh-huh.
Melissa: Oh, you say the most wonderful things!

“Love is a verb.” -Clare Boothe Luce (1903 - 1987)

“What we love, we shall grow to resemble.” -Bernard of Clairvaux (C.E. 1090 - C.E. 1153)

“The heart that loves is always young.” -Author Unknown

“Love is the reward of love.” -Johann Friedrich von Schiller (Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller (1759 - 1805))

“Love is space and time measured by the heart.” -Marcel Proust (1871 - 1922)

“Love is never without some thorns.” -Author Unknown

“No one is perfect until you fall in love with them.” -Author Unknown

Perfect Love

They walked in the lane together,
     The sky was covered with stars;
They reached the gate in silence,
     He lifted down the bars.

She neither smiled nor thanked him,
     Because she knew not how;
For he was a farmer’s son,
     And she, a Jersey cow.

by Author Unknown

“Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that the person will love you back. Do not expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their hearts but if it does not, be content it grew in yours.” -Author Unknown

“To be loved, be lovable.” [translation to English]
“Ut ameris, amabilis esto.” [original Latin]
-Publius Ovidius Naso (also known simply as Ovid (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17)): “Ars Amatoria” (English: “The Art of Love”), Book II, line 107

“I love you more than yesterday, less than tomorrow.” -Edmond Rostand (1868 - 1918)

“We find rest in those we love, and we provide a resting place in ourselves for those who love us.” -Bernard of Clairvaux (C.E. 1090 - C.E. 1153)

“It’s love that makes the world go ’round.” -W. S. Gilbert (William Schwenck Gilbert (1836 - 1911))

“Love is all we have, the only way that each can help the other.” -Euripides (about 480 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.): “Orestes” (408 B.C.E.), line 298, as translated by William Arrowsmith

The Opposite of Two

What is the opposite of two?
     A lonely me, a lonely you.

by Richard Wilbur (Richard Purdy Wilbur (born 1921)): “Opposites” (1973)

“All love shifts and changes. I don’t know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time.” -Julie Andrews

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” -Erich Segal

“The heart is a strange beast and not ruled by logic.” -Maria V. Snyder (born 1973)

“What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.” -Pearl Bailey (Pearl Mae Bailey (1918 - 1990)): as quoted in “Weekly World News” (25 April 2005)

“We don’t love qualities; we love a person; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as their qualities.” -Jacques Maritain

“Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.” -Fyodor Dostoevsky (Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881))

“When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.” -Elizabeth Bowen (Elizabeth Dorothea Cole Bowen (1899 - 1973))

“When we first fall in love, we feel that we know all there is to know about life, and perhaps we are right.” -Author Unknown

Picture of the handwritten words, ‘I love you,’ and the words, ‘What does it mean? Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net’

“Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” -Paul of Tarsus: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘First Corinthians,’ chapter 13, verses 4 through 8

“I think . . . if it is true that there are as many minds as there are heads, then there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910))

Together

Because we do
     All things together
All things improve,
     Even weather.

Our daily meat
     And bread taste better,
Trees are greener,
     Rain is wetter.

by Paul Engle (1908 - 1991)

People have made a silly pastime of holding a daisy and plucking off its petals while saying, “He loves me, he loves me not,” or “She loves me, she loves me not.” Supposedly, the last petal has the answer - but how would a flower know?

“Just because someone does not love you the way you want him or her to, does not mean they do not love you with everything they have got.” -Author Unknown

“The great acts of love are done by those who are habitually performing small acts of kindness.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.” -Bette Davis (Ruth Elizabeth ‘Bette’ Davis (1908 - 1989)): “The Lonely Life” (1962), chapter 19

“We loved with a love that was more than love.” -Edgar Allan Poe (1809 - 1849): “Annabel Lee”; type of work: poem

“He was happy and unhappy all at once. He was in love.” -Petra Mathers: “Victor and Christabel” (1993)

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive, who?
Olive you!

“The course of true love never did run smooth.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” (1595 - 1596), Act I, scene 1, line 140; words of fictional character Lysander

“Hearts are wild creatures. That’s why our ribs are cages.” -Author Unknown

Jared: How do you mend a broken heart?
Annie: With ticker tape.

“To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.” -Bess Myerson (1924 - 2014)

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” -Robert A. Heinlein (Robert Anson Heinlein (1907 - 1988)): “Stranger in a Strange Land”

“To love someone means to see him as God intended him.” -Fyodor Dostoevsky (Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881))

“Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Venus and Adonis” (1593), line 821; type of work: narrative poem

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806 - 1861): “Sonnets from the Portuguese” (1850)

“Draw a circle, not a heart, around the one you love, because a heart can break, but a circle goes on forever.” -Danny Kaye (born David Daniel Kaminsky (1911 - 1987))

Love wasn’t put in your heart to stay.
Love isn’t love until you give it away.
-Michael W. Smith

“What power has love but forgiveness?” -William Carlos Williams (1883 - 1963)

Do you love me?
     Or do you not?
You told me once,
     But I forgot.
-Elena Helms

“I’m bananas for you - let’s never split!” -Author Unknown

“Love creates an ‘us’ without destroying the ‘me’.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

“If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater.” -Author Unknown

“I love you right up to the Moon - and back.” -Sam McBratney

“Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much a heart can hold.” -Zelda Fitzgerald (born Zelda Sayre (1900 - 1948))

I Love You!

I love you, I love you,
     I love you, I do.
But don’t get excited -
     I love monkeys, too!

by Author Unknown

“At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.” -Plato (about 427 B.C.E. - 347 B.C.E.): “The Symposium”

“True love isn’t so much a dreamy feeling that you have as it is an enduring commitment to give sacrificially - even, or perhaps especially, when you don’t feel like it.” -William R. Mattox, Junior

“Perfect love casts out fear.” -Uell Stanley Andersen (1917 - 1986)

“I love you more than all the stars in the sky.” -Author Unknown

“Who ever loved that lov'd* not at first sight?” -Christopher Marlowe (Christopher ‘Kit’ Marlowe (1564 - 1593)): “Hero and Leander”
*love’d: loved

“Love at first sight is a great time saver.” -Author Unknown

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” -Sam Keen (born 1931)

“To acquire love, fill yourself up with it until you become a magnet.” -Charles Haanel (1866 - 1949)

“We can only learn to love by loving.” -Iris Murdoch (Jean Iris ‘Iris’ Murdoch (1919 - 1999))

“Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary.” -Teresa of Calcutta (also known as Mother Teresa (born Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997)))

“One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love.” -Sophocles (496 B.C.E. - 406 B.C.E.)

“What a grand thing, to be loved! What a grander thing still, to love!” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“Love is by far the most important thing of all.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“The secret of health, happiness, and long life: If you simply learn how to accept and express love, you will live longer . . . be happier . . . grow healthier. For love is a powerful force.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“To love, and to be loved, is the greatest happiness of existence.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845): “Lady Holland’s Memoir” (1855), ‘Of Friendship’

I loved you yesterday,
     I love you still -
I always have,
     I always will.
-Author Unknown

“Real love stories never have endings.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“Do all things with love.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . where LMLML! (Levity Makes Life More Livable!)

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Self-Regard and Self-Acceptance

4/23/2022

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Picture of a happy smiling woman looking at herself in a mirror.

Fearlessly accept the one and only you . . .

“If I had one gift that I could give you, my friend, it would be the ability to see yourself as others see you, because only then would you know how extremely special you are.” -B. A. Billingsly

“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” -Joseph Campbell (1904 - 1987)

“Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end - no apologies, no regrets.” -Clark Moustakas (Clark E. Moustakas (1923 - 2012)): as quoted in Lori Knutson: “Sacred Simplicities: Meeting the Miracles in Our Lives” (2004), page 141

“Live as if you like yourself, and it may happen.” -Marge Piercy (born 1936)

“There might be things about yourself that you do not like . . . until one day you notice those same things in someone else who seems to be doing well enough in life. So go ahead and take a closer look at other people. You will see something of yourself in some of them and you will come to know an important truth, which is that you are a good enough person just as you are.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“It is not worth the while to let our imperfections disturb us always.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“You are wholly complete, and your success in life will be in direct proportion to your ability to accept this truth about you.” -Robert Anthony (Robert Newton Anthony (1916 - 2006))

“I May Not Be Totally Perfect, But Parts of Me Are Excellent” -Ashleigh Brilliant (Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant (born 1933)): title of book (1978)

“Be what you are. This is the first step towards becoming better than you are.” -Julius Charles Hare (1795 - 1855) and Augustus William Hare (1792 - 1834): “Guesses at Truth: By Two Brothers” (1861), page 555

“The greatest miracle you can hope for is self-acceptance.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017))

“When I start comparing myself to every stranger I pass on the street - convinced that each one is thinner, richer, smarter, and happier than I am - I will try to remember that they’re looking at me and thinking exactly the same thing.” -Barbara Graham

“When a person grows to like himself, he becomes more tolerant of others.” -Lao Wei: “Strawberry Wisdom”

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” -Lucille Ball (Lucille Désirée Ball (1911 - 1989))

“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832): “Faust” (1806), Part 1

“If you must love your neighbor as yourself, it is at least as fair to love yourself as your neighbor.” -Nicolas Chamfort (also known as Nicolas-Sébastien Roch (1741 - 1794))

“Self-approval and self-acceptance in the now are the main keys to positive changes in every area of our lives.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017))

Affirmation: “I accept myself as I am, all the while knowing I am also capable of becoming so much more.”

“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as you see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different.” -Stacey Charter

“Whatever you are doing, love yourself for doing it. Whatever you are feeling, love yourself for feeling it.” -Thaddeus Golas (Thaddeus Stanley Golas (1924 - 1997))

“I care not so much what I am in the opinion of others as what I am in my own; I would be rich of myself and not by borrowing.” -Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592): “Essais” (English: “Essays”) (March 1580), ‘Of Glory’

“The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.” -Maya Angelou (born Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

“Every human being is trying to say something to others. Trying to cry out, ‘I am alive, notice me! Speak to me! Listen to me! Confirm for me that I am important. That I matter!’” -Marion D. Hanks (Marion Duff Hanks (1921 - 2011))

“Be a Friend to thyself and others will too.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 847

“I’m not perfect, but I’m pretty good.” -Author Unknown

“Accept yourself as you are. Otherwise you will never see opportunity. You will not feel free to move toward it; you will feel you are not deserving.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.” -Author Unknown

“Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly.” -Francis de Sales (1567 - 1622)

“Be yourself . . . you’re better at it.” -Author Unknown

“It needs to be said and heard: It’s okay to be who you are.” -Hailee Steinfeld (born 1996)

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” -Carl Rogers (Carl Ransom Rogers (1902 - 1987))

Overheard: Would you like you, if you met you?

“It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is.” -Desiderius Erasmus (Desiderius Erasmus Roterodamus, also known as Erasmus of Rotterdam or simply Erasmus (1466 - 1536))

“No one is perfect. Gently accept your humanness.” -Deborah Day

“We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.” -Roderick Thorp (Roderick Mayne Thorp, Junior (1936 - 1999)): “Rainbow Drive” (1986)

“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” -Brené Brown (Casandra Brené Brown (born 1965))

“To know oneself, one should assert oneself.” -Albert Camus (1913 - 1960)

Self-love, my liege*, is not so vile a sin
As self-neglecting.
-William Shakespeare(1564 - 1616): “Henry V” (about 1599), Act 2, scene 4, lines 74 and 75
*liege: a feudal superior to whom allegiance and service are due, within a feudal society in which land use by subjects is exchanged for work.

“I don’t want everyone to like me; I should think less of myself if some people did.” -Henry James (Henry James, Junior (1843 - 1916))

“To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections.” -Sandra Bierig

“If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. And that makes you so happy.” -Kristin Chenoweth (Kristin Dawn Chenoweth (born in 1968 as Kristi Dawn Chenoweth))

“Don’t be-little yourself. Be-big yourself.” -Corita Kent (Mary Corita Kent (1918 - 1986))

“When you acknowledge the less than perfect parts of yourself, something magical begins to happen. Along with the negative, you’ll also begin to notice the positive, the wonderful aspects of yourself that you may not have given yourself credit for, or perhaps even been aware of.” -Richard Carlson (1961 - 2006): “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” (1997)

“Stop hating yourself for everything that you aren’t. Start loving yourself for everything that you are.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t look for approval from anyone other than yourself.” -Jonathan Lockwood Huie (born 1945)

“A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.” -Vernon Howard (Vernon Linwood Howard (1918 - 1992))

“Often, it’s not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be.” -Heath L. Buckmaster: “Box of Hair: A Fairy Tale” (30 April 2008)

“You were born to be real, not to be perfect.” -Author Unknown

“It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.” -Sally Field (Sally Margaret Field Mahoney (born 1946))

“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” -Diane Von Furstenberg (born 1946 as Diane Simone Michelle Halfin)

“Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship to myself.” -Nathaniel Branden (born 1930)

“Self-respect is not a function of size, age, or wealth. Breathe deep, sing loud and sweet, ‘I am me, I am unique, I am magnificent.’” -Jonathan Lockwood Huie (born 1945)

“Once you embrace your value, talents, and strengths, it neutralizes when others think less of you.” -Rob Liano at https://robliano.wordpress.com/

“Too many people overvalue what they are not, and undervalue what they are.” -Malcolm S. Forbes (Malcolm Stevenson Forbes (1919 - 1990))

“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” -Author Unknown

“What self-acceptance does is open up more possibilities of succeeding because you aren’t fighting yourself along the way.” -Shannon Ables

“Option A: Spend your life trying to get others to accept you. Option B: Accept yourself, and spend your life with others who recognize what a beauty you are.” -Scott Stabile

“If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.” -Charles Bukowski (1920 - 1994)

“The greatest success is successful self-acceptance.” -Ben Sweet

“What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you.” -Author Unknown

“I think everybody’s weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.” -Johnny Depp (born 1963 as John Christopher Depp II)

“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.” -Amy Bloom (born 1953)

“It’s not your job to like me . . . it’s mine!” -Byron Katie (Byron Kathleen Mitchell (born 1942))

“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits - anything that kept me small. My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.” -Kim McMillen: “When I Loved Myself Enough” (2001)

“Be yourself. Try to be anything else but your genuine self, even if you deceive the entire world, and you will be ten thousand times worse than nothing . . . You have been blessed with special skills that are yours alone. Use them, whatever they may be and forget about wearing another’s hat. A talented chariot driver can win gold and renown with his skills. Let him pick figs and he would starve. No one can take your place! Realize this and be yourself. You have no obligation to succeed. You have only the obligation to be true to yourself. Do the very best that you can, in the things you do best, and you will know, in thy soul, that you are the greatest success in the world.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996)): “The Greatest Success in the World” (1968), page 94

“Loving yourself isn’t vanity, it’s sanity.” -André Gide (André Paul Guillaume Gide (1869 - 1951))

“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward.” -Roy T. Bennett: “The Light in the Heart” (26 February 2016)

“You work so hard to fix yourself, but maybe what you need isn’t another tactic, another book, another expert, another five-step plan. Maybe, you don’t need to be fixed. Maybe, what’s really holding you back is the idea that you need to be fixed.” -Vironika Tugaleva (born 1988)

“I’ve finally stopped running away from myself. Who else is there better to be?” -Goldie Hawn (Goldie Jeanne Hawn (born 1945))

“If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” -Fred Rogers (Fred McFeely Rogers (1928 - 2003))

“Change is possible, but it must start with self-acceptance.” -Alexander Lowen (1910 - 2008)

“Believing in our hearts that who we are is enough is the key to a more satisfying and balanced life.” -Ellen Sue Stern

“If you want to be somebody, somebody really special, be yourself.” -Author Unknown

“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017))

“Acceptance is the key to everything.” -Michael J. Fox (pseudonym of Michael Andrew Fox (born 1961))

“When you stop living your life based on what others think of you, real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self-acceptance opened.” -Shannon L. Alder at https://www.shannonalder.com/

“We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light.” -Mary Dunbar (Evelyn Mary Dunbar (1906 - 1960))

The most delightful surprise in life
Is to suddenly recognize your own worth.
-Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“Our entire life - consists ultimately in accepting ourselves as we are.” -Jean Marie Lucien Pierre Anouilh (1910 - 1987)

“What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself.” -Hecato (also known as Hecaton of Rhodes): as quoted in Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (about 4 B.C.E. - C.E. 65)): “Epistulae morales ad Lucilium” (about C.E. 65)

“One must have the adventurous daring to accept oneself as a bundle of possibilities and undertake the most interesting game in the world: Making the most of one’s best.” -Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878 - 1969)

This is MFOL! . . . the website for exceptional people like you . . .

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Self-Improvement and Self-Help

4/16/2022

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Picture of a road sign with the words, ‘Your New Self Just Ahead, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net’ and a blue sky with hazy white clouds in the background.

“Change yourself and your fortune will change with you.” -Author Unknown

“It only takes one person to change your life - you.” -Ruth Casey

“Each person’s task in life is to become an increasingly better person.” -Leo Tolstoy (Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy (1828 - 1910))

“The better person you become, the better people you will attract.” -Author Unknown

“A truly wise person will constantly move forward, striving for self-improvement.” -Marvin J. Ashton (Marvin Jeremy Ashton (1915 - 1994))

“Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew.” -Francis de Sales (1567 - 1622)

“How do we become true and good, happy and genuine, joyful and free? Only by getting in touch with good, true, happy, genuine human beings, only by seeking the company of the strong and the free, only by catching spontaneity and freedom from those who are themselves spontaneous and free.” -Charles Malike (1906 - 1988)

“If you improve 1 percent a day, then in 100 days, guess what? You’re 100 percent better.” -Coach Carter

“Let us strive to improve ourselves, for we cannot remain stationary; one either progresses or retrogrades.” -Mademoiselle Du Deffand (Marie Anne de Vichy-Chamrond, Marquise du Deffand (1697 - 1780))

“Be the kind of person you want to meet.” -Author Unknown

“Let’s build a better you . . . we will need some glue, pop-sickle sticks, pipe cleaners, glitter, crayons, yarn, construction paper . . . what, you say you are not made out of any of those things?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“You make the world a better place by making yourself a better person.” -Scott Sorrell

“Ignore the ones who say it’s too late to start over. Disregard those who say you’ll never amount to anything. Turn a deaf ear to those who say you aren’t smart enough, fast enough, tall enough, or big enough - ignore them.” -Max Lucado (born 1955)

“In the long term the most important question . . . is not what you are but what you are becoming.” -Gary Hamel

“Everyone planning to make something worthwhile out of himself must be a self-remade man, and should be an intelligent remodeling job going on all the time.” -Sterling W. Sill (Sterling Welling Sill (1903 - 1994))

“Every day is a day you can be a better person than you were yesterday.” -Author Unknown

“Do not think of your faults, still less of others’ faults; look for what is good and strong, and try to imitate it. Your faults will drop off, like dead leaves, when their time comes.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“Build upon strengths, and weaknesses will gradually take care of themselves.” -Joyce C. Lock

“There’s only one corner of the Universe you can be certain of improving and that’s your own self . . . You have to begin there, not outside, not on other people. That comes afterwards, when you’ve worked on your own corner.” -Aldous Huxley (Aldous Leonard Huxley (1894 - 1963)): “Time Must Have a Stop” (1944)

“Know thyself? If I knew myself, I’d run away.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“To become different from what we are, we must have some awareness of what we are.” -Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)

“No man is capable of self-improvement if he sees no other model but himself.” -Conrado I. Generoso

“Be yourself. No one can ever tell you you’re doing it wrong.” -James Leo Herlihy (1927 - 1993)

“It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time.” -Margery Williams (Margery Williams Bianco (1881 - 1944)): “The Velveteen Rabbit” (1922)

“What we shall be, we are becoming.” -Author Unknown

“I have had more trouble with myself than with any other man I have ever met.” -Dwight L. Moody (Dwight Lyman Moody (1837 - 1899))

“USA stands for Unconditional Self-Acceptance.” -Author Unknown

“If you are still searching for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” -Author Unknown

“If you want a kinder world, then behave with kindness; if you want a peaceful world, make peace within.” -Dan Millman (born 1946)

“Man is nothing else but what he makes of himself.” -Jean-Paul Sartre (1905 - 1980)

“Might I give counsel to any man, I would say to him, try to frequent the company of your betters. In books and in life, that is the most wholesome society; learn to admire rightly; the great pleasure of life is that. Note what great men admire.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863)

“Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you act.” -George W. Crane (George Washington Crane III (1901 - 1995))

“How can there be self-help ‘groups’?” -Author Unknown

“People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy.” -Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774)

“If we are unduly absorbed in improving our lives we may forget altogether to live them.” -Alan Watts (Alan Wilson Watts (1915 - 1973))

“Improvement begins with I.” -Arnold H. Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“None will improve your lot if you yourself do not.” -Bertolt Brecht (Eugen Berthold Friedrich ‘Bertolt’ Brecht (1898 - 1956)) (1933)

“For a person to build a rich and rewarding life for himself, there are certain qualities and bits of knowledge that he needs to acquire. There are also things, harmful attitudes, superstitions, and emotions that he needs to chip away. A person needs to chip away everything that doesn’t look like the person he or she most wants to become.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“Help thyself.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Chiefly the mould of a man’s fortune is in his own hands.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): “Essays” (1625), ‘Of Fortune’

“I am still far from being what I want to be, but with God’s help I shall succeed.” -Vincent van Gogh (Vincent Willem van Gogh (1853 - 1890))

“Seeing ourselves as we want to be is a key to personal growth. To successfully bring about change in our lives we need to implement a system of change that is built upon three assumptions. First Assumption: We change our lives by changing the attitudes of our minds. Second Assumption: We become what we think about all day long. Third Assumption: Our mind is naturally goal seeking. Please remember these assumptions. Our mind is always trying to accomplish something. We have a powerful machine wanting to achieve goals. It will set the goals that we allow it to.” -Hyrum W. Smith

“Be yourself, everyone else is taken.” -Author Unknown

“In that worthiest of all struggles, the struggle for self-mastery and goodness, we are far less patient with ourselves than God is with us.” -J. G. Holland (Josiah Gilbert Holland (1819 - 1881))

“Whatever you are, try to be a good one.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863): as quoted in Laurence Hutton’s memoir, ‘A Boy I Once Knew,’ serialized in “St. Nicholas: An Illustrated Magazine for Young Folks” (March 1897), Volume 24, Number 5, page 413, column 2

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” -Carl Rogers (1902 - 1987)

“Identify and develop your unique talents and abilities, the things that make you special.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“The simple part is, every thought we think and every word we speak is creating our future. If you change your thinking, you can change your life.” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017))

“Self-help must precede help from others. Even for making certain of help from Heaven one has to help oneself.” -Morarji Ranchhodji Desai (1896 - 1995)

“Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.” -Julius Charles Hare (1795 - 1855)

“It is right to be contented with what we have, but never with what we are.” -James Mackintosh (1765 - 1832): as attributed in “The True Briton” (7 July 1853) magazine

“If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.” -Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)

“It is not always possible to be the best, but it is always possible to improve your own performance.” -Jackie Stewart (John Young ‘Jackie’ Stewart (born 1939))

“Try a little harder to be a little better.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

“The better I get, the more I realize how much better I can get.” -Martina Navratilova (born 1956)

“That’s the risk you take if you change: that people you’ve been involved with won’t like the new you. But other people who do will come along.” -Lisa Alther (born 1944)

“You don’t get better by chance; you get better by change.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in Kit Summers and Robert Schwarz: “Juggling with Finesse” (1987), page 19

September of each year is Self-Improvement Month. Why wait - let’s get started now!

“The first step to improvement, whether mental, moral, or religious, is to know ourselves - our weaknesses, errors, deficiencies, and sins, that, by divine grace, we may overcome and turn from them all.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 517

“Seeing yourself as you want to be is the key to personal growth.” -Author Unknown

“There is no shame in having fallen. Nor any shame in being born into a lowly estate. There is only shame in not struggling to rise. And also shame for not wishing to attain the better. Or not dreaming about it and praying for it.” -Samuel Amalu

“We are either progressing or retrograding all the while; there is no such thing as remaining stationary in this life.” -James Freeman Clarke (1810 - 1888)

“I went to a bookstore today and asked the manager where the self-help section was. She said, ‘If I told you, that would defeat the whole purpose.’” -Brian Kiley (born 1962)

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” -Judy Garland (Frances Gumm (1922 - 1969)): as quoted in “The Reader’s Digest” (1998)

“If you want a quality, act as if you already had it. Try the ‘as if’ technique.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“People never improve unless they look to some standard or example higher and better than themselves.” -Tryon Edwards (1809 - 1894): as quoted in Tryon Edwards, editor: “A Dictionary of Thoughts: Being a Cyclopedia of Laconic Quotations from the Best Authors of the World, Both Ancient and Modern” (1891), page 156

“You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be.” -David Viscott (1938 - 1996)

“The greatest gift you can give to somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, ‘If you will take care of me, I will take care of you.’ Now I say, ‘I will take care of me for you if you will take care of you for me.’” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.” -James Allen (1864 - 1912)

“Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.” -William Faulkner (William Cuthbert ‘Will’ Faulkner (1897 - 1962))

“Everything comes by being! Be the love you seek. Be the friend you seek. Be the honesty you seek. Be the integrity you seek. Be the patience you seek. Be the tolerance you seek. Be the compassion you seek.” -Bryant McGill (born 1969)

“The Bible is the best self-help book - if you haven’t read it you should take a look. It is full of life stories that we all can see that life is, at times, not so easy.” -Catherine Pulsifer (born 1927): “Take A Look”

“It is necessary to try to surpass oneself always; this occupation ought to last as long as life.” -Queen Christina of Sweden (born Kristina Augusta Wasa, later known as Christina Alexandra (1626 - 1689))

“I am that which must ever surpass itself.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)

“If you want to attract happy, positive things . . . become a happy, positive person! Work from the inside out!” -Mandy Hale (born 1978)

“You are more likely to be successful at attempting to be better than yourself than to be better than someone else.” -Author Unknown

“To be always intending to live a new life, but never to find time to set about it; this is as if a man should put off eating, and drinking, and sleeping, from one day and night to another, till he is starved and destroyed.” -John Tillotson (1630 - 1694): as attributed in “The Ladies’ Companion; or, Peoples’ Annual” (August 1842)

“Never mind what others do; do better than yourself, beat your own record from day to day, and you are a success.” -William J. H. Boetcker (William John Henry Boetcker (1873 - 1962))

“There are times when a man should be content with what he has, but never with what he is.” -William George Jordan (1864 - 1928): “The Majesty of Calmness: Individual Problems and Possibilities” (1900)

“Your life will never improve unless you start making daily improvements.” -Lewis Howes (Lewis David Howes (born 1983))

“There is nothing noble in being superior to some other man. True nobility comes from being superior to your previous self.” -Author Unknown: Hindustani proverb: as quoted in George Derby, compiler: “A Conspectus of American Biography” (1906), page 726

“When you improve a little each day, eventually big things occur. When you improve conditioning a little each day, eventually you have a big improvement in conditioning. Not tomorrow, not the next day, but eventually a big gain is made. Don’t look for the big, quick improvement. Seek the small improvement. Seek the small improvement one day at a time. That’s the only way it happens - and when it happens, it lasts.” -John Wooden (1910 - 2010)

“Be the best version of you.” -Author Unknown

We are MFOL! . . . and just like you, we’re always improving . . .

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Environmentalism and Animal Rights

4/8/2022

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‘Tree-hugger’ is another name for an environmentalist.

“Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar.” -Bradley Millar

“I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes.” -P. J. O’Rourke

Kindness to Animals

Speak gently to the herring and kindly to the calf,
Be blithesome with the bunny, at barnacles don’t laugh!
Give nuts unto the monkey, and buns unto the bear,
Ne’er hint at currant jelly if you chance to see a hare!
Oh, little girls, pray hide your combs when tortoises draw nigh,
And never in the hearing of a pigeon whisper Pie!
But give the stranded jelly-fish a shove into the sea, -
Be always kind to animals wherever you may be!
Oh, make not game of sparrows, nor faces at the ram,
And ne’er allude to mint sauce when calling on a lamb.
Don’t beard the thoughtful oyster, don’t dare the cod to crimp,
Don’t cheat the pike, or ever try to pot the playful shrimp.
Tread lightly on the turning worm, don’t bruise the butterfly,
Don’t ridicule the wry-neck, nor sneer at salmon-fry;
Oh, ne’er delight to make dogs fight, nor bantams disagree, -
Be always kind to animals wherever you may be!
Be lenient with lobsters, and ever kind to crabs,
And be not disrespectful to cuttle-fish or dabs;
Chase not the Cochin-China, chaff not the ox obese,
And babble not of feather-beds in company with geese.
Be tender with the tadpole, and let the limpet thrive,
Be merciful to mussels, don’t skin your eels alive;
When talking to a turtle don’t mention calipee-
Be always kind to animals wherever you may be.

by J. Ashby-Sterry

“And all young people are concerned environmentalists, but no one is interested in keeping the schoolyard clean!” -David McKay

“I am I plus my surroundings, and if I do not preserve the latter, I do not preserve myself.” -José Ortega y Gasset (1883 - 1955): “Meditations of Quixote” (1911)

“For the first time in history, one bag of groceries produces two bags of trash.” -Robert Orben (born 1927)

“We must fight against the spirit of unconscious cruelty with which we treat the animals. Animals suffer as much as we do. True humanity does not allow us to impose such sufferings on them. It is our duty to make the whole world recognize it. Until we extend our circle of compassion to all living things, humanity will not find peace.” -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965): “The Philosophy of Civilization” (1951)

“If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.” -Jack Handey (born 1949)

“People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it’s safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.” -Author Unknown

“It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians.” -Henrik Ibsen (Henrik Johan ‘Henrik’ Ibsen (1828 - 1906))

“The environment is everything that isn’t me.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“Over increasingly large areas of the United States, spring now comes unheralded by the return of the birds, and the early mornings are strangely silent where once they were filled with the beauty of bird song.” -Rachel Carson (1907 - 1964): “Silent Spring” (27 September 1962)

“Remember, people, if you were meant to have a fur coat, nature would have given you one. Do not be a thief and steal a fur coat from some animal who is its rightful owner.” -Author Unknown

When is Earth Day? Earth Day is observed by environmental activists on 22 April of each year. If you are a regular person and not an environmental activist, Earth Day is every day.

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.” -Doctor Seuss (pseudonym of Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 - 1991)): “The Lorax” (1971)

The Chernobyl nuclear disaster region has become one of the world’s most unique wildlife sanctuaries, with thriving populations of wolves, deer, beavers, eagles, fish, and other animals.

“Water and air, the two essential fluids on which all life depends, have become global garbage cans.” - Jacques Cousteau (Jacques-Yves Cousteau (1910 - 1997))

“The basis of all animal rights should be the Golden Rule: we should treat them as we would wish them to treat us, were any other species in our dominant position.” -Christine Stevens

“Strip mining prevents forest fires.” -Author Unknown

Ninety-nine percent of all animal species that ever lived on Earth are now extinct - not because of human activity, but because every species has a ‘life cycle.’ Every species appears on the planet, goes through some changes, and then eventually dies out. This is part of the natural ‘cycle of life.’ By some estimates, animal species average about five million years of existence. Everything that begins also ends.

“No one in the world needs a mink coat but a mink.” -Murray Banks

“Our priorities are out of whack. We spend too much to protect birds and fish at the expense of people.” -Sam Graves

Wrong-Way Alien

A curious creature from Saturn
Came to Earth on some orbital pattern.
     It saw our brown air,
     And cement everywhere,
And screamed, “Why did I take that turn?!”

by Author Unknown

Each year, the United States of America produces enough plastic wrap to shrink-wrap the entire state of Texas. Are you thinking what we’re thinking? Let’s do it!

What should you do if you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) was formed in 1866. It is a long-standing organization, unlike the here-today-and-gone-tomorrow groups of obnoxious hip young attention seekers who hold noisy protest demonstrations in front of shopping malls and on street corners. Additionally, the ASPCA has fantastic pet toys so that you and your furry friend can play together. The ASPCA website is www.aspca.org.

Thames in Flames

In England, when crossing the Thames,
It sparkles and shimmers, like James.
     It’s even reputed
     To be unpolluted,
Though in places it bursts into flames!

by Author Unknown

“No one should be able to enter a wilderness by mechanical means.” -Garrett Hardin: as quoted in “The Ecologist” (February 1974)

Animal Rights Activist: Ma’am, do you realize some poor dumb beast suffered horribly so that you could wear that mink coat you have on?
Woman: How dare you talk that way about my husband!

“(Henry Bergh) was a notable defender of animals, and was the founder, in 1866, of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. This was the first humane society in the United States, antedating - a strange commentary - the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, founded by another Fifth Avenue resident, Elbridge T. Gerry, in 1874. Bergh was originally outraged by the treatment of horses on New York’s streets, especially the overworked beasts that pulled the omnibuses and stages.” -Jerry E. Patterson: “Fifth Avenue: The Best Address” (1998)

“With everything we read about spray cans and the ozone layer, it’s enough to scareosol to death.” -Author Unknown

Modern technology
Owes ecology
An apology.
-Alan M. Eddison: as quoted in Rosemary McDougall: “Worse Verse” (1969)

“The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.” -Burton Hillis (pseudonym of William Edward ‘Bill’ Vaughan (1915 - 1977))

“Hurt not the earth, neither the sea, nor the trees.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Book of Revelation,’ chapter 7, verse 3

“To cherish what remains of the Earth and to foster its renewal is our only legitimate hope of survival.” -Wendell Berry (Wendell Erdman Berry (born 1934))

The worst air polluter in the entire state of Washington is a volcano that goes by the name of Mount Saint Helens.

“A zoo is a facility where animals are imprisoned for the crime of being different from us.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Nobody knows the exact age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better.” -Author Unknown

America the Beautiful

O beautiful for smoggy skies
Insecticided grains
For strip-mined mountains, majesty
Above the asphalt plain.
America, America,
Man sheds his waste on thee
And hides the pines
With billboard signs
From sea to oily sea!

by George Carlin (George Denis Patrick Carlin (1937 - 2008))

“We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals.” -Immanuel Kant (1724 - 1804)

“Each generation takes the Earth as trustees. We ought to bequeath to posterity as many forests and orchards as we have exhausted and consumed.” -J. Sterling Morton

Little Timmy, age five, was looking at a picture book. When he came to a picture of a zebra, his father asked him what animal that was. Timmy thought a moment, and then answered, “It’s a cow that ate bio-engineered corn.”

“Pollution: The dirtiest word in the world.” -Author Unknown

This animal is very bad:
When attacked, it defends itself.
-Theodore P. K.

China produces more than 45 billion pairs of disposable chopsticks every year, using an estimated 25 million trees to do so. Hmmm . . . kinda makes reusable chopsticks seem like a good alternative, perhaps?

“Love thy neighbor, whether thy neighbor is a fuzzy bunny or a chirping chickadee or a grandpa who wears stripes with plaids.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I personally can see no reason for conceding mind to my fellow men and denying it to animals . . . I at least cannot doubt that the interests and activities of animals are correlated with awareness and feeling in the same way as my own and which may be for aught I know just as vivid.” -Walter Russel (Lord Brain)

A Robin Redbreast in a Cage
Puts all Heaven in a Rage.
-William Blake (1757 - 1827): ‘Auguries of Innocence’ (1803), lines 5 and 6; type of work: poem

“He that plants trees loves others besides himself.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734)

It turns out that everything is actually everything else, just recycled. Matter becomes energy, and energy becomes matter, and so on. Nothing is ever destroyed, it just changes form. The Universe is a giant recycling system.

“Save a tree. Eat a beaver.” -Author Unknown

The Green Thing

In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags were not good for the environment. The woman apologized to him and explained, “We didn’t have the green thing back in my day.” The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment.” He was right - our generation did not have the green thing in its day. Back then, we returned milk bottles and soda bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn’t have the green thing back in our day. We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn’t have the green thing in our day. Back then, we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts - wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that old lady is right; we didn’t have the green thing back in our day. Back then, we had one television, or radio, in the house - not a TV in every room. And, the television had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she’s right; we didn’t have the green thing back then. We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn’t have the green thing back then. Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint. But isn’t it sad that the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the green thing back then? Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from an opinionated young person.

by Author Unknown

Most landfilled trash retains its original weight, volume, and form for 40 years or longer.

“Save the krill. Eat a whale.” -Author Unknown

“Any fool can destroy trees. They cannot run away; and if they could, they would still be destroyed - chased and hunted down as long as fun or a dollar could be got out of their bark hides, branching horns, or magnificent bole backbones. Few that fell trees plant them; nor would planting avail much towards getting back anything like the noble primeval forests . . . It took more than three thousand years to make some of the trees in these Western woods - trees that are still standing in perfect strength and beauty, waving and singing in the mighty forests of the Sierra. Through all the wonderful, eventful centuries . . . God has cared for these trees, saved them from drought, disease, avalanches, and a thousand straining, leveling tempests and floods; but he cannot save them from fools - only Uncle Sam can do that.” -John Muir (1838 - 1914): “Our National Parks” (1901), chapter 10

“There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth. We are all crew.” -Marshall McLuhan (Herbert Marshall McLuhan (1911 - 1980)) (1965)

“We are not going to be able to operate our Spaceship Earth successfully nor for much longer unless we see it as a whole spaceship and our fate as common. It has to be everybody or nobody.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“The frog does not drink up the pond in which he lives.” -Author Unknown: Indian proverb

“We talk so much about leaving a better planet to our children, that we forget about leaving better children to this planet. Educate your children - say ‘no’ to them every once in a while.” -Author Unknown

“You cannot begin to preserve any species of animal unless you preserve the habitat in which it dwells. Disturb or destroy that habitat and you will exterminate the species as surely as if you had shot it. So conservation means that you have to preserve forest and grassland, river and lake, even the sea itself. This is not only vital for the preservation of animal life generally, but for the future existence of man himself - a point that seems to escape many people.” -Gerald Durrell

“Extinction is Forever.” -Author Unknown: Friends of the Animals

“The activist is not the man who says the river is dirty. The activist is the man who cleans up the river.” -Ross Perot (Henry Ross ‘Ross’ Perot (1930 - 2019))

Hurt no living thing:
Ladybird, nor butterfly,
Nor moth with dusty wing.
-Christina Rossetti (Christina Georgina Rossetti (1830 - 1894)): “Hurt No Living Thing”

We are MFOL! . . . saving the environment by recycling old jokes . . .

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Questions and Queries

4/1/2022

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Picture of a woman gazing quizzically upward, with large questions marks floating around her.

How can I get people to like me?

If you were to be trapped in a television show forever, which show would you choose?

Aren’t you just the cutest thing?

If you were a robot but did not know it, would you want people to tell you?

Where did you get that big, beautiful smile?

How can you know what you think until you speak so that you can hear what you have to say?

“It’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

If you were on the second floor of a three-story building, would you be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?

Would you tell me a true thing?

“I have become a question to myself.” [translation to English]
“Mihi quaestio factus sum.” [original Latin]
-Augustine of Hippo (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430): “Confessions” (about 397), X, 33

If we can make semi-conductors, can you just imagine what we could do if we made complete conductors?

What is the speed of dark?

Do you realize just how many holes there could be in the ground if people would just take the time to get a shovel and dig the dirt out of them?

What could possibly go wrong?

Why do British people not sound British when they sing?

Should Friday the 13th be made into a holiday?

If a chameleon was placed in a mirrored box, what color would it be - clear?

Why do we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

Why is it that when you walk up the stairs and you get to the top, you always think there is still one more step?

Is there a butterscotch flavored soft drink?

Everyone says it’s just Jim Dandy . . . but who is this Jim Dandy feller?

Is there something else you should be doing right now?

Does it seem that some people specialize in turning positives into negatives?

What did moths congregate around before campfires, torches, and light bulbs were invented?

Does wasting time damage eternity?

Can we spell creativity any way we want to?

If you could have picked your own name, what would it be?

What do penguins wear for play clothes?

Have you noticed that since everyone has a digital camera or a cell phone with a built-in camera these days, no one talks about seeing UFO’s and monsters and ghosts like they used to?

Who wants to go outside and play?

“He who asks a question may be a fool for five minutes, but he who never asks a question remains a fool forever.” -Tom J. Connelly

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why do people go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?

An average four-year-old child asks 437 questions a day. Have you asked a question today?

Picture of students and staff of the James E. Foy Information Desk at Auburn University.

Whether you need the answer to a serious question or a silly question, call 1-334-844-4244 to reach the Foy Information Line at Auburn University in Auburn, Alabama, United States of America. The service is staffed by students, who try to answer questions on any subject, and is available during the school year, 24 hours a day Monday through Thursday and until 9:00 p.m. Friday through Sunday. Be sure to tell them you found out about them from www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Since there is a speed of light and a speed of sound, is there a speed of smell and a speed of taste?

What would love do now?

Do some people have a condition that makes it difficult for them to remember the good things that happen and easy to remember the bad things that happen?

Are adults just older children?

Is it right that you should have only a broken down flea-bitten donkey while the local warlord has 300 camels and 1,200 horses?

What do you think is the right age for marriage and why?

“You’ve got to ask! Asking is, in my opinion, the world’s most powerful - and neglected - secret to success and happiness.” -Percy Ross

Who is the funniest person in the world?

What things do you always carry with you in your pocket, purse, backpack, or wallet?

What just happened?

Can you name something that is not weird, odd, or unusual?

Why are highways built so close to the ground?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alex?
Alex, who?
Alex the questions around here!

Why hasn’t someone invented a bed that makes itself yet?

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

Teacher: What if this was not a rhetorical question?
Student: What if this was not a hypothetical situation?

What do you like to do for fun?

A year from now, what will you wish you had done today?

“The word ‘question’ originates from the Latin root ‘quaestio’ meaning ‘to seek.’ Inside the word ‘question’ is the word ‘quest,’ suggesting that within every question is an adventure, a pursuit which can lead us to hidden treasure.” -Tom Wujec: “Five Star Mind” (1995)

How many days are in a light year?

“Since we have kneecaps to protect our leg joints, why do we not have elbowcaps to protect our funny bones?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If not you, who? If not now, when?” -Garry Herbert

How fast do you have to go to keep up with the Sun so that you are never in darkness?

What’s next?

Are there legitimate ways to earn money online?

“Asking silly questions now is better than correcting serious mistakes later.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

How old were you when you were born?

If life is so wonderful and exciting and full of interesting people and places and things, then why are we all by ourselves looking at the screens of our electronic devices?

What are male ballerinas called?

Sales Person: Be sure to ask me if you have any questions.
Customer: Sure thing . . . so do I have any questions?

Why is France so far away?

If a birdhouse is placed in a tree, does it then become a treehouse?

Picture of a man gazing quizzically upward, with large questions marks floating around him.

Who has been the biggest influence on your life?

“There are no foolish questions and no man becomes a fool until he has stopped asking questions.” -Charles Steinmetz (Charles Proteus Steinmetz (born Karl August Rudolf (1865 - 1923)))

Do you have all of your ducks in a row?

“Apart from the known and the unknown, what else is there?” -Harold Pinter

Who is the most interesting person you ever met, and why?

At the end of the day, are you better off than you were at the start of the day?

Why do we believe everything we see on the internet but question what The Bible says?

What is your favorite work of art?

Are social media websites turning us into weird little creatures - maybe not all of us, but enough of us so that the rest of us should be concerned?

What is keeping you from doing the things you need to do?

Does your physical address plus the time equal your space-time coordinates?

If you could be any kind of animal, what would you want to be and why?

Are we ever going to make it up this hill?

Which is a sign of higher intelligence, asking questions, or not asking questions?

Why does this keep happening?

“Why do people park in driveways and drive on parkways?” -Larry Anderson

Why is there one in every crowd?

Which do you like more: scary movies, romantic movies, or comedy movies?

What kind of place is this?

“Bromidic though it may sound, some questions don’t have answers, which is a terribly difficult lesson to learn.” -Katharine Graham (1917 - 2001)

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

“A questioning man is halfway to being wise.” -Author Unknown: Irish proverb

What is the best advice you ever received?

“Ask the experienced rather than the learned.” -Author Unknown

Would you rather go shopping or sightseeing, and why?

“There are no foolish questions, only foolish silence.” -Author Unknown

If a thousand seagulls were in an airplane while it was flying, with each bird weighing two pounds, and all of them flying around inside the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2,000 pounds more?

Do you play a musical instrument?

If you could go back in time and speak to your younger self, what age would you choose and what would you say?

Why do we say an alarm is going off when it is actually turning on?

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

Would we all be better off if we refused to accept anything that was offered to us for free?

What is your favorite song?

If the Universe is expanding, why are parking spaces so hard to find?

“If water had a flavor, what color would it sound like?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

What do you think is beyond the stars?

Wow, those were some challenging and difficult questions! Fortunately, the topic that follows below this one on MFOL! is much easier . . .

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Worries and Worrying

3/28/2022

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Picture of a man biting his fingernails and looking extremely worried.

Photo credit: Man photo created by asier_relampagoestudio - www.freepik.com.

Overheard: You worry too much!

“Do not worry too much - you will create a problem that was not even there in the first place!” -Author Unknown

Every life has some trouble
     When you worry you make it double.
-Bobby McFerrin (born 1950)

“‘Each day has troubles enough of its own,’ so why anticipate them? If we do, we double them. For if our fear does not materialize, we have worried once for nothing; if it does materialize, we have worried twice instead of once. In both cases, it is foolish; worry doubles trouble.” -John R. W. Stott

“If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine.” -Morris West (Morris Langlo West (1916 - 1999))

A Worry

A worry crept into a mind,
Leaving claw marks and gashes behind.
     It turned the mind blue
     As it twisted each screw
Then it chuckled, and left, with a grind.

by Author Unknown

“Let us be of good cheer, however, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those which never come.” -James Russell Lowell (1819 - 1891): “Democracy” (1887)

“A worry a day drains the vitality away.” -Author Unknown

“Worry is a form of fear, and all forms of fear produce fatigue. A man who has learned not to feel fear will find the fatigue of daily life enormously diminished.” -Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Arthur William Russell (1872 - 1970))

If you’re worried and you can’t sleep,
Just count your blessings instead of sheep,
And you’ll fall asleep counting your blessings.
-Irving Berlin (1888 - 1989): “Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep” (1954); type of work: song

“Our worst misfortunes never happen, and most miseries lie in anticipation.” -Honoré de Balzac (1799 - 1850)

“Never borrow sorrow from tomorrow.” -Author Unknown

“We experience moments absolutely free from worry. These brief respites are called panic.” -Cullen Hightower

“Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.” -Author Unknown

“Stop worrying . . . and start making jokes!” -Author Unknown

My Worry

A little bitty worry
     Started early in the day;
By noon it seemed my worry
     Hovered, standing in my way;
The things and thoughts
     I should have had
Got buried in my mind,
     Until my little worry turned
Into the horrid kind.
     By bedtime I was frantic -
What to do, oh what to do!
     And then I couldn’t go to sleep,
For worrying - fretting, too.
     By morning I was almost sick,
When suddenly and soon,
     My worry had been all worked out
Before the toll of noon;
     Then I looked back
And saw my worry
     Just for what it was -
A thing that didn’t happen,
     As a worry seldom does.

by Bonnie Daisy Nelson: as published in “A Garden of Poems” from the Salesian Collection

“I have learned to live each day as it comes, and not to borrow trouble by dreading tomorrow. It is the dark menace of the future that makes cowards of us.” -Dorothy Dix (1861 - 1951): “Dorothy Dix, Her Book,” ‘Introduction’

“Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning.” -Winston Churchill (Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill (1874 - 1965))

“Worry is today’s mice nibbling on tomorrow’s cheese.” -Author Unknown

“We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.” -Ethel Barrett (1913 - 1998)

“Let not your heart be troubled.” -John: as quoted in “The Bible” (King James Version (1611)), ‘The Gospel According to John,’ chapter 14, verse 1

“Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.” -Eckhart Tolle (pseudonym of Ulrich Leonard Tölle (born 1948))

Overheard: Don’t tell me worrying doesn’t do any good - I know better! Most of the things I worry about never happen.

“Meditate upon exile, torture, wars, diseases, shipwreck . . . so that you may not be a novice to any misfortune.” -Seneca (Lucius Annaeus Seneca, also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“When you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.” -Shannon L. Alder at https://www.shannonalder.com/

“Worrying takes up just as much time as work, but work pays better dividends.” -Author Unknown

“People spend most of their lives worrying about things that never happen.” -Jean Molière (pseudonym of Jean-Baptiste Poquelin (1622 - 1673))

“My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)): “Essais” (“Essays”) (1595), Book 3, chapter 1

“The most pleasant and useful persons are those who leave some of the problems of the Universe for God to worry about.” -Don Marquis (1878 - 1937)

“Wringing your hands only stops you from rolling up your sleeves.” -James Rollins

“Happy is the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying once and for all.” -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - C.E. 17))

“Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace.” - Author Unknown

“The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Some of today’s worries are like puddles: tomorrow they will have evaporated.” -Author Unknown

“Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.” -Author Unknown: Swedish proverb

“A day of worry is more exhausting than a week of work.” -John Lubbock (1834 - 1913): “The Use of Life” (1894)

“A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.” -Harold Stephens (born 1926)

“Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime, and too sleepy to worry at night.” -Leo Aikman (James Leo Aikman (1908 - 1978))

“Worry: Mountain climbing over molehills.” -Author Unknown

“If you’re overwhelmed by thinking of all there is to be done, stop thinking about it so much and start working on it.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t let your worries get the best of you. Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.” -Author Unknown

Worry

Worry is a futile thing,
     It’s somewhat like a rocking chair;
Although it keeps you occupied,
     It doesn’t get you anywhere.

by Author Unknown

“It only seems as if you’re doing something when you worry.” -Lucy Maud Montgomery (1874 - 1942)

“Worry takes as much time as work and pays less.” -Author Unknown

“Nothing wastes more energy than worrying. The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it becomes. Don’t take life too seriously. Live a life full of serenity, not of regrets.” -Douglas Pagels (born 1950)

“You can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.” -Janis Joplin (1943 - 1970)

“How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” (1948) is a self-help book by Dale Carnegie (Dale Harbison Carnegie (born Dale Breckenridge Carnagey (1888 - 1955))). Mr. Carnegie wrote in the preface of the book that he wrote it because he “was one of the unhappiest lads in New York.” He said that he made himself sick with worry because he hated his position in life. The goal of the book is to lead the reader to a more enjoyable and fulfilling life, helping them to become more aware of not only themselves, but of others around them. Mr. Carnegie addresses the everyday nuances of living, in order to get the reader to focus on the larger canvas of life. Available in print or e-reader version from your favorite book seller.

“The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.” -Wayne Dyer (born 1940)

“A man ninety years old was asked to what he attributed his longevity. ‘I reckon,’ he said with a twinkle in his eye, ‘It’s because most nights I went to bed and slept when I should have sat up and worried.’” -Dorothea Kent (1916 - 1990)

“Worry is an unhealthy and destructive mental habit.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” -Epictetus (C.E. 55 - C.E. 135)

“Worry never accomplishes anything. When you have a problem, it is best to concentrate on the solution to that problem, not the problem itself.” -Thomas D. Willhite (Thomas Dale Willhite (1940 - 1983))

L i v e ☆ L e a r n ☼ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ L o v e ツ L a u g h

Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

So do not worry, saying, “What shall we eat?” or “What shall we drink?” or “What shall we wear?” For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

by Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Matthew,’ chapter 6, verses 25 through 34

L i v e ☆ L e a r n ☼ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ L o v e ツ L a u g h

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.” -Corrie ten Boom (Cornelia ‘Corrie’ ten Boom (1892 - 1983)): “Clippings from my Notebook” (1982)

“To worry about tomorrow is to be unhappy today.” -Author Unknown

“Worrying is silly - it is like walking around with an umbrella, waiting for it to rain.” -Author Unknown

How can you make the ‘Worry List’ you carry in your head a little shorter?

“Never bear more than one trouble at a time. Some people bear three kinds - all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have.” -Edward Everett Hale (1822 - 1909)

“In order to be done in a useful manner, worrying must be done quickly and then completely gotten over with. Worrying is a natural trait that helps us to figure out if there is something that needs to be done so that we can then do it, and if not, then stop worrying and get on with the daily activities and the great adventure of life!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“You can’t change the past, but you can a ruin a perfectly good present worrying about the future.” -Author Unknown

“Worry is like riding a roller coaster. It scares the wits out of you, and you always end up right where you started.” -Author Unknown

“What if we knew for certain that everything we’re worried about today will work out fine? What if . . . we knew the future was going to be good, and we would have an abundance of resources and guidance to handle whatever comes our way? What if . . . we knew everything was okay, and we didn’t have to worry about a thing? What would we do then? We’d be free to let go and enjoy life.” -Melody Beattie: “The Language of Letting Go”

“Worry is a cycle of inefficient thoughts whirling around a center of fear.” -Corrie ten Boom (Cornelia ‘Corrie’ ten Boom (1892 - 1983))

“If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will overlook what is.” -Author Unknown

“Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. All it does is steal your joy and keep you busy doing nothing.” -Author Unknown

“It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge an elephant, but we can’t dodge a fly.” -Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818 - 1885))

“Don’t fill your head with worries. There won’t be room for anything else.” -Author Unknown

“Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.” -Mary Hemingway (1908 - 1986)

“Show me a worrying person and I will show you a person who does not know how to relax.” -Albert E. Cliffe (Albert Edward Cliffe (1892 - 1954))

“Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep always in the sunlight.” -Benjamin Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790))

“Worrying is like wishing for something that you do not want.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I’ve got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I’m stressing about for absolutely no logical reason.” -Author Unknown

I was early taught to work as well as play,
My life has been one long, happy holiday;
Full of work and full of play -
I dropped the worry on the way -
And God was good to me every day.
-John Davison Rockefeller, Senior (1839 - 1937): verses written on his eighty-sixth birthday (8 July 1925)

“All worry is your imagination. Why not use your imagination to explore happier options?” -Marta Davidovich Ockuly (born 1952) at www.JoyOfQuotes.com

At MFOL! we are worried that we might be taken seriously . . . okay, that’s enough worrying for one day . . . now let’s have fun or do work . . . whatever prevents worry from taking over . . .

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Problems and Solutions

3/21/2022

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Picture of an oyster shell with a pearl inside it.

Oysters have an elegant solution to a problem. When a grain of sand gets inside their shells, they respond by coating the irritant in a layer of the material that lines their shells, commonly referred to as ‘mother-of-pearl.’ After repeated coatings, the result is a shiny round object called a pearl. The problem is an irritant such as a grain of sand, and the solution is a pearl. Can oysters teach us how to solve problems?

“I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.” -Frank A. Clark (Frank Atherton Clark (1911 - 1991))

“Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.” -Maya Angelou (born Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

“The best angle to approach a problem is from the try angle.” -Author Unknown

“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.” -Duke Ellington (Edward Kennedy ‘Duke’ Ellington (1899 - 1974))

“A problem well stated is a problem half-solved.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“What a pity human beings can’t exchange problems. Everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellow’s.” -Olin Miller (1918 - 2002)

“The problems we face are human problems and therefore are capable of human solutions.” -Frederick Moore Vinson

“People who believe a problem can be solved tend to get busy solving it.” -William Raspberry

“Every big problem was at one time a wee little disturbance.” -Author Unknown

“The easiest way to solve a problem is to pick an easy one.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980))

“The world’s biggest problems are the world’s biggest business opportunities.” -Peter Diamandis

Overheard: Everything is figureoutable.

“When obstacles or difficulties arise, the positive thinker takes them as creative opportunities. He welcomes the challenge of a tough problem and looks for ways to turn it to advantage.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993): “Have a Great Day” (1986), page 2

“All life is problem solving.” -Karl Popper (1902 - 1994)

“I’ve yet to see any problem, however complicated, which when you looked at it the right way didn’t become still more complicated.” -Poul Anderson (Poul William Anderson (1926 - 2001)): ‘Call Me Joe’ novelette published in “Astounding Science Fiction” (April 1957) magazine

“A feeling of confidence and personal power comes from facing challenges and overcoming them.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“. . . so it will be forever; that after every storm the Sun will smile, for every problem there is a solution, and that the soul’s indefeasible duty is to be of good cheer . . .” -William R. Alger (William Rounseville Alger (1822 - 1905)): “The School of Life” (1881), ‘Lesson of Faith,’ page 71

“Problems are the price of success.” -Branch Rickey (Wesley Branch ‘Branch’ Rickey (1881 - 1965))

“It’s not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.” -Ashleigh Brilliant (Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant (born 1933)): as quoted in “Reader’s Digest” magazine

“It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it.” -John Steinbeck (John Ernst Steinbeck, Junior (1902 - 1968))

“No problem can be solved until it is reduced to some simple form. The changing of a vague difficulty into a specific, concrete form is a very essential element in thinking.” -J. P. Morgan (John Pierpont ‘J. P.’ Morgan (1837 - 1913))

“There are as many solutions as there are human beings.” -George Tooker (George Clair Tooker, Junior (1920 - 2011))

“It is no good getting furious if you get stuck. What I do is keep thinking about the problem but work on something else. Sometimes it is years before I see the way forward. In the case of information loss and black holes, it was 29 years.” -Stephen Hawking (Stephen William Hawking (1942 - 2018))

“The one common challenge of all humanity is the challenge of problems.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“After every difficulty, ask yourself two questions: ‘What did I do right?’ and ‘What would I do differently?’” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys.” -Rita Schiano

“Your problems aren’t going to solve themselves, you know.” -Author Unknown

“‘We have a problem.’ ‘Congratulations.’ ‘But it’s a tough problem.’ ‘Then double congratulations.’” -W. Clement Stone (William Clement Stone (1902 - 2002))

“Focus on remedies, not faults.” -Jack Nicklaus (Jack William Nicklaus (born 1940))

“Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” -Joshua J. Marine

“This problem, too, will look simple after it is solved.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“We will find the solution . . . together.” -Author Unknown

“All problems become smaller if you don’t dodge them, but confront them.” -William F. Halsey (William Frederick ‘Bull’ Halsey, Junior (1882 - 1959))

“You are the only problem you will ever have and you are the only solution.” -Bob Proctor (born 1934)

“Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.” -René Descartes (1596 - 1650): “Discours de la Methode” (1637)

Picture of a chalkboard with words written in chalk, ‘Problems, Solutions,’ and the word ‘Problems’ having a line drawn through it to cross it out.

“Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.” -Earl Shoaff (John Earl Shoaff (1916 - 1965))

“I don’t have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.” -Ashleigh Brilliant (Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant (born 1933))

“The biggest problem in the world could have been solved when it was small.” -Witter Bynner (Harold ‘Witter’ Bynner (1881 - 1968))

“The best way to forget your own problems is to help someone else solve theirs.” -Author Unknown

“Nobody, as long as he moves among the chaotic currents of life, is without trouble.” -C. G. Jung (Carl Gustav Jung (1875 - 1961))

“An expert problem solver must be endowed with two incompatible qualities - a restless imagination and a patient pertinacity.” -Howard W. Eves (Howard Whitley Eves (1911 - 2004))

“A small trouble is like a pebble. Hold it too close to your eye, and it puts everything out of focus. Hold it at proper viewing distance, and it can be examined and classified. Throw it at your feet, and it can be seen in its true setting, just one more tiny bump on the pathway to eternity.” -Celia Luce (Celia Larsen Luce (1914 - 2008))

“Beset by a difficult problem? Now is your chance to shine. Pick yourself up, get to work, and get triumphantly through it.” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955))

“There are no problems, just challenges.” -Author Unknown

“I’ve never seen a problem that was solved by only complaining about it.” -Steve Keating (Stephen F. Keating (1918 - 2001))

“To solve a problem, walk around.” [translation to English]
“Solvitur ambulando.” [original Latin]
-Jerome (also known as Eusebius Sophronius Hieronymus (about C.E. 347 - C.E. 420))

“Avoid problems, and you’ll never be the one who overcame them.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it.” -Alan Saporta (Alan H. Saporta (born 1943))

“Don’t tell me that this problem is difficult. If it wasn’t difficult, it wouldn’t be a problem.” [translation to English]
“Ne me dites pas que ce problème est difficile. S’il n’était pas difficile, ce ne serait pas un problème.” [original French]
-Ferdinand Foch (Ferdinand Jean Marie Foch (1851 - 1929))

“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” -Theodore Rubin (Theodore Isaac Rubin (born 1923))

Overheard: All of the easy problems have already been solved.

“Discovery of a solution consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else and thinking something different.” -Albert Szent-Györgyi (1893 - 1986)

“A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talked to each other instead of about each other.” -Author Unknown

“When I am working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.” -R. Buckminster Fuller (Richard Buckminster ‘Bucky’ Fuller (1895 - 1983))

“It’s good to remember that the tea kettle, although up to its neck in hot water, continues to sing.” -Author Unknown

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as unsolvable problems.” -John W. Gardner (John William Gardner (1912 - 2002))

“When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail.” -Abraham Maslow (Abraham Harold Maslow (1908 - 1970)): “The Psychology of Science” (1966)

“Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.” -Henry J. Kaiser (Henry John Kaiser (1882 - 1967))

“Focus on the solution, not the problem.” -Walter Anderson (born 1944)

“It isn’t that they can’t see the solution. It is that they can’t see the problem.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936))

“Nothing lasts forever - not even your troubles.” -Arnold Glasow (Arnold Henry Glasow (1905 - 1998))

“No problem is so complicated that you cannot make it more complicated.” -Andy Grove (Andrew Stephen ‘Andy’ Grove (1936 - 2016))

“There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. We seek out problems because we need their gifts.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936))

“Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.” -Denis Waitley (born 1933)

“There is a remedy for everything, could men find it.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in George Herbert (1593 - 1633): “Jacula Prudentum; or Outlandish Proverbs, Sentences, &c. Selected by Mr. George Herbert” (1651)

“Whenever we have a really difficult or impossible problem in life, we should take it to a math teacher. As you may remember from school, math teachers are good at giving problems to us, and they are good at showing us how to solve them, as well.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“The issue is not that our problems are too big but that our imaginations are too small.” -Marianne Williamson (born 1952)

“It often happens that I wake at night and begin to think about a serious problem and decide I must tell the Pope about it. Then I wake up completely and remember that I am the Pope.” -Pope John XXIII (born Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli (1881 - 1963))

“Problems are to the mind what exercise is to the muscles, they toughen and make strong.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.” -Alan Watts (Alan Wilson Watts (1915 - 1973))

“The first requisite for success is the ability to apply your physical and mental energies to one problem incessantly without growing weary.” -Herbert Spencer (1820 - 1903)

“The ‘how’ thinker gets problems solved effectively because he wastes no time with futile ‘ifs.’” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“I am so grateful for my troubles. As I reflect back on my life, I have come to realize that my greatest triumphs have been born of my greatest troubles.” -Steve Maraboli (born 1975): “Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience” (2013)

“Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.” -Theodore N. Vail (Theodore Newton Vail (1845 - 1920))

“No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking.” -Voltaire (pseudonym of François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“The first step towards the solution of any problem is optimism.” -John Baines

“There is an awful lot that is wrong with the world, so we had better get started on fixing it right now if we are going to be finished before bedtime.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Never make troubles of trifles.” -Author Unknown

“Trouble is My Business.” -Raymond Chandler (1888 - 1959): title of article in “Dime Detective Magazine” (August 1939), and the credo of his fictional detective Philip Marlowe

“Every problem is a questions that asks, ‘How can you best handle me?’” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Creativity can solve almost any problem. The creative act, the defeat of habit by originality, overcomes everything.” -George Lois

“Do not be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.” -Author Unknown

“For any problem, no matter how big or complex it may be, there is a solution.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989): “Business Life: 2 Amazing Ways to Solve Your Problems” (2015)

“The most important thing to do in solving a problem is to begin.” -Frank Tyger (1929 - 2011)

We are MFOL! . . . may all of your problems be funny ones . . . and may all of your solutions be fun . . .

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Wisdom and Advice

3/14/2022

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Picture of a field of yellow flowering plants with snow-covered mountains in the distance, a blue sky with fluffy white clouds above, and a green leafy tree in the field, with the words, ‘What matters most are quotations and sayings that tell you what life is really about . . .,’ and the words, ‘. . . and this is a tree,’ next to the tree, and finally the words, ‘Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net’

“Dream big, work hard, stay focused, and surround yourself with good people.” -Author Unknown

“Be excellent to each other!” -Author Unknown: “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” (1989) movie

“Pursue worthy aims.” -Solon (636 B.C.E. - 558 B.C.E.)

Be kind, but don’t let people abuse you.
Trust, but don’t be deceived.
Be content, but never stop improving yourself.
-Author Unknown

“Don’t ever let anyone dull your sparkle.” -Author Unknown

“If you would know the road ahead, ask someone who has traveled it.” -Author Unknown

“Life is too important to be taken seriously.” -Author Unknown

“Keep five yards from a carriage, ten yards from a horse, and a hundred yards from an elephant. But the distance one should keep from a wicked man cannot be measured.” -Author Unknown: Indian proverb

“Be good to yourself so that you can above all be good to others.” -Jessi Lane Adams (pseudonym of Terri Guillemets (born 1973))

“Three things it is best to avoid: a strange dog, a flood, and a man who thinks he is wise.” -Author Unknown: Welsh proverb

“What cannot be helped must be endured.” -Author Unknown: “Rob Roy” (7 April 1995) movie; words spoken by fictional character Mary MacGregor

L i v e ☆ L e a r n ☼ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ L o v e ツ L a u g h

The Way

Cocks crow in the morn
     To tell us to rise,
And he who lies late
     Will never be wise.

For early to bed
     And early to rise
Is the way to be healthy,
     And wealthy, and wise.

by Author Unknown

L i v e ☆ L e a r n ☼ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ L o v e ツ L a u g h
“Keep trying. Stay humble. Trust your instincts. Most importantly, act. When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” -Yogi Berra (Lawrence Peter ‘Yogi’ Berra (1925 - 2015))

“Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.” -Author Unknown

“Wisdom: Common sense in an uncommon degree.” -Author Unknown

“Whoever said sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t eat anything you shouldn’t.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“I give myself, sometimes, admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it.” -Mary Wortley Montagu (1689 - 1762)

“Spend time with those you love, because one of these days you will say either, ‘I wish I had,’ or, ‘I’m glad I did.’” -Author Unknown

“How you spend your time is more important than how you spend your money. Money mistakes can be corrected, but misspent time is gone forever.” -Author Unknown

“Whatever advice you give, be brief.” -Quintus Horatius Flaccus (also known simply as Horace (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.))

“You must get good at one of two things: planting in the Spring or begging in the Fall.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“The words you speak today should be soft and tender . . . for tomorrow you may have to eat them.” -Author Unknown

“It is traditional on these occasions for me to give you a bit of advice, which you will equally traditionally ignore.” -Philip Mountbatten (also known as Prince Philip (born 1921))

“Don’t ever slam a door; you might want to go back.” -Author Unknown

“He who seeks wisdom is a wise man; he who thinks he has found it is mad.” -Lucius Annaeus Seneca (also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“Wise people carry their possessions within them.” -Author Unknown

“We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“A mountain shames a molehill until both are humbled by the stars.” -Author Unknown: proverb

“One day you’ll just be a memory to some people. Do your best to be a good one.” -Author Unknown

“Few persons have good enough sight to see their own faults.” -Author Unknown

“It’s possible to own too much. A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never quite sure.” -Lee Segall

“Don’t trust advice from a person who’s in trouble.” -Author Unknown

Accept a proverb out of Wisdom’s schools -
“Barbers first learn to shave by shaving fools.”
-John Wolcot (1738 - 1819): “Works” (1792)

“Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold - but so does a hard-boiled egg.” -Author Unknown

“A wise word is not a substitute for a piece of herring.” -Sholom Aleichem (pseudonym of Solomon Naumovich Rabinovich (1859 - 1916))

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction.” -Author Unknown

“The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on; it is never of any use to oneself.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

“Remember, it’s not the fall that hurts you; it’s the stop at the end.” -Author Unknown

“My parents told me, ‘Finish your dinner. People in China and India are starving.’ I tell my daughters, ‘Finish your homework. People in India and China are starving for your job.’” -Thomas Friedman

“Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.” -Barry LePatner (Barry Bruce LePatner (born 1947))

“If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.” -Author Unknown

Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone.
Don’t worry about the future, it hasn’t arrived.
Live in the present, and make it beautiful.
-Author Unknown

“Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child.” -Ron Wild

“The first step toward madness is to think oneself wise.” -Fernando de Rojas

Enjoy yourself,
It’s later than you think.
-Herb Magidson (1906 - 1986): “Enjoy Yourself” (1950) song

“Work hard, dress well, and be nice to people.” -Author Unknown

“Wise sayings often fall on barren ground; but a kind word is never thrown away.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875)

The road to wisdom?
Well it’s plain and simple to express:
Err and err and err again
but less and less and less.
-Piet Hein (1905 - 1996)

“No man is wise enough by himself.” -Plautus (Titus Maccius Plautus (254 B.C.E. - 184 B.C.E.))

“Rise with the Sun and go to bed with the chickens.” -Author Unknown

“Many receive advice; only the wise profit from it.” -Publilius Syrus (85 B.C.E. - 43 B.C.E.)

“If I could only give three words of advice, they would be, ‘Tell the truth.’ If I got three more words, I’d add, ‘All the time.’” -Randy Pausch (Randolph Frederick ‘Randy’ Pausch (1960 - 2008))

“It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.” -Aeschylus (525 B.C.E. - 456 B.C.E.)

“You will always find some Eskimos ready to instruct the Congolese on how to cope with heat waves.” -Stanislaw Jerzy Lec (1909 - 1966): “Unkempt Thoughts” (1957)

“Be wise to-day; ’tis madness to defer.” -Edward Young (1683 - 1765): “Night Thoughts,” ‘Night’ Part 1, line 390

“The surest sign of wisdom is constant cheerfulness.” -Michel de Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533 - 1592))

“Don’t throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.” -Author Unknown: Swedish proverb

“Colors fade, temples crumble, empires fall, but wise words endure.” -Edward Thorndike (Edward Lee Thorndike (1874 - 1949))

“Be such a man, and live such a life, that if every man were such as you, and every life a life like yours, this Earth would be God’s Paradise.” -Phillips Brooks (1835 - 1893)

“The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right. That has been my secret, and I have never had any quarrels.” -Hannah Whitall Smith (1832 - 1911): as quoted in Logan Pearsall Smith, editor: “Philadelphia Quaker: The Letters of Hannah Whitall Smith” (1950), page 146

“Who lives without folly is not as wise as he thinks.” [translation to English]
“Qui vit sans folie n’est pas si sage qu’il croit.” [original French]
-François de La Rochefoucauld (also known as François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)): “Reflections; or Sentences and Moral Maxims” (1665 - 1678), Maxim 209

“Charity gives itself rich; greed hoards itself poor.” -Author Unknown: German proverb

“We all admire the wisdom of people who come to us for advice.” -Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875)

“Speak your mind but ride a fast horse.” -Author Unknown

“If a man loves to give advice, it is a sure sign that he himself wants it.” -George Savile (also known as Lord Halifax (1633 - 1695))

“If I wanted to become a tramp, I would seek information and advice from the most successful tramp I could find. If I wanted to become a failure, I would seek advice from men who have never succeeded. If I wanted to succeed in all things, I would look around me for those who are succeeding, and do as they have done.” -Joseph Marshall Wade (1832 - 1905)

“No man was ever wise by chance.” [translation to English]
“Nulli sapere casu obtigit.” [original Latin]
-Lucius Annaeus Seneca (also known as Seneca the Younger (3 B.C.E. - C.E. 65))

“Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.” -Tobias Smollett (Tobias George Smollett (1721 - 1771))

“Wisdom is the sunlight of the soul.” -Author Unknown

“It’s a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.” -Author Unknown

“Who is a wise man? He who learns of all men.” -Author Unknown

“Wisdom is to live in the present, plan for the future, and profit from the past.” -Author Unknown

Good Advice

Don’t shirk
     Your work
For the sake
     Of a dream;
A fish
     In the dish
Is worth ten
     In the stream.

by Author Unknown

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” -Robert Brault (born 1938)

“Never take the advice of someone who has not had your kind of trouble.” -Sydney J. Harris (Sydney Justin Harris (1917 - 1986))

“Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind.” -Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834)

“As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.” -Andrew Carnegie (1835 - 1919)

Keep your eye on the ball.
Keep your shoulder to the wheel.
Keep your nose to the grindstone.
Now try to work in that position.
-Author Unknown

“Enjoy yourself. These are the good old days you’re going to miss in the years ahead.” -Author Unknown

“The wisest man is he who does not fancy that he is so at all.” -Nicolas Boileau-Despréaux (1636 - 1711)

“Seek advice but use your own common sense.” -Author Unknown: Yiddish proverb

“The mintage of wisdom is to know that rest is rust, and that real life is in love, laughter, and work.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

“Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.” -Author Unknown

“Whatever you are, try to be a good one.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1853): as quoted in Laurence Hutton: “A Boy I Knew and Four Dogs” (1898) autobiography

This is MFOL! . . . encouraging you to get out, be active, meet people, sing, dance, and talk up a storm with thunder in your voice . . .

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Past-Dwelling and Living in the Past

3/7/2022

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Picture of a man looking behind him, and a concrete wall in the background.

“Only look back to see how far you’ve come.” -Author Unknown

“If you let go of the past, it no longer has a hold on you.” -Author Unknown

“Do not look back; if Cinderella had gone back to pick up her shoe, she would never have become a princess.” -Author Unknown

“Never let yesterday use up too much of today.” -Will Rogers (William Penn Adair ‘Will’ Rogers (1879 - 1935))

“It’s no use to go back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.” -Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (1832 - 1898)): “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” (1865)

“Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.” -Candace Bushnell

“If you’re yearning for the good old days, just turn off the air conditioning.” -Griff Niblack

“Examine the past, but don’t live in it.” -Author Unknown

“The Ogle Fish swims everywhere backwards, because it is only interested in seeing where it has already been.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest, that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.” -Jan Glidewell (James Janis ‘Jan’ Glidewell (1944 - 2013))

“I live in the past because it’s cheaper there.” -Author Unknown

“Remember, you can’t reach for what’s in front of you, until you let go of what’s behind you.” -Author Unknown

“Too much looking backward . . . is bad for progress.” -Henry Ward Beecher (1813 - 1887)

“There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book, or simply close it.” -Shannon L. Alder

“When you’re too caught up in what happened in the past, you miss what’s right in front of you.” -Author Unknown

“It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.” -Paulo Coelho

“The past should be a springboard, not a hammock.” -Irving Ball

“It’s but little good you’ll do a-watering the last year’s crop.” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans, possibly also known as Marian Evans Cross (1819 - 1880)): “Adam Bede” (1859)

“Move forward, don’t look back, just forget the past.” -Author Unknown

Aaron: How many past-dwellers does it take to change a light bulb?
Erin: Four. One to change the bulb and three to reminisce about how good the old burned-out, broken light bulb was.

“The mill cannot grind with water that’s past.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in George Herbert (1593 - 1633): “Jacula Prudentum; or Outlandish Proverbs, Sentences, &c. Selected by Mr. George Herbert” (1651), proverb 153

Sign reading, ‘Don’t Look Back,’ with the two letter o’s in the word ‘look’ replaced with eyes looking in a backward direction.

“Don’t look back. You’re not going that way.” -Author Unknown

“Life goes on whether you choose to move on and take a chance in the unknown or stay behind, locked in the past, thinking of what could’ve been. I don’t want to live in the past anymore. I’m so lonely here, there’s nothing for me here anymore.” -Stephanie Smith: “Wherever You Will Go” (7 August 2014)

“We can draw lessons from the past, but we cannot live in it.” -Lyndon B. Johnson (Lyndon Baines Johnson (1908 - 1973))

“The longer you live in the past, the less future you have to enjoy.” -Author Unknown

“We should not look back unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors, and for the purpose of profiting by dearly bought experience.” -Author Unknown

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The Good Old Days

“In my day, we couldn’t afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In the Winter we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.” -Bill Flavin

“In my day, we didn’t have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.” -Sarah M. Wolford

“In my day, we didn’t have days. There was only ‘time for work,’ ‘time for prayer,’ and ‘time for sleep.’ The sheriff would go around and tell everyone when to change.” -Elden Carnahan

“In my day, we didn’t have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.” -Diana Hugue

by Author Unknown: as published in the “Washington Post” (about 1997) newspaper, in a contest on the subject of the difficulties of the good old days

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“The past is a great place, and I don’t want to erase it or to regret it, but I don’t want to be its prisoner either.” -Mick Jagger

“Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

“When setting priorities, going forward is likely to be more important than looking back.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“How many people long for that ‘past, simpler, and better world,’ I wonder, without ever recognizing the truth that perhaps it was they who were simpler and better, and not the world about them?” -R. A. Salvatore

“There is no past that we can bring back by longing for it.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“That which is past is gone and irrevocable, and wise men have enough to do with things present and to come.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): “Essays” (1597)

“For those who live in the past, there is no future.” -Author Unknown

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.” -Hermann Hesse

“The past is to learn from and not to live in.” -Richard L. Evans (Richard Louis Evans (1906 - 1971))

“The more we look backwards, the less we will be able to see forward.” -Author Unknown

“You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.” -Charles F. Kettering (Charles Franklin Kettering (1876 - 1958))

“If you are still talking about what you did yesterday, you haven’t done much today.” -Author Unknown

“The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post.” -L. Thomas Holdcroft (Leslie Thomas ‘Les’ Holdcroft (1922 - 2018))

“A Retrosaurus is a backward-looking dinosaur, which is why we do not find its kind anymore in our world.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Nothing has ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now; and if the past cannot prevent you from being present now, what power does it have?” -Eckhart Tolle (born 1948 as Ulrich Leonard Tölle)

“When we cling to the past, we become unavailable in the present.” -Author Unknown

“Look not mournfully into the Past, it comes not back again. Wisely improve the Present, it is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy Future without fear and with a manly heart.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

“Stop living backwards while the world continues to move forward.” -Roger Lee

“Life goes on . . . Whether you choose to move on and take a chance in the unknown . . . Or stay behind, locked in the past, thinking of what could’ve been.” -Author Unknown

“Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.” -Byrd Baggett

“Living in the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back strains the neck muscles, causes you to bump into people not going your way.” -Edna Ferber (1885 - 1968)

“Don’t look back - that’s not where your future is.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Past-Dwelling and Past-Dwellers Quiz
- What does it mean when a person is said to be dwelling in the past?
- What is the difference between dwelling in the past and reminiscing?
- What harm can it do to dwell in the past?
- How can a person stop dwelling in the past, start living in the present, and start working and planning for the future?

“It’s okay to look back at the past. Just don’t stare.” -Benjamin Dover

“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” -Author Unknown

“Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays.” -Persius (Aulus Persius Flaccus (C.E. 34 - C.E. 62))

“Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.” -Lyndon B. Johnson (Lyndon Baines Johnson (1908 - 1973))

“It is not possible to go forward while looking back.” -Ludwig Mies van der Rohe (1886 - 1969)

“That’s like, so five minutes ago . . .” -Author Unknown

“When you focus on what might have been, it gets in the way of what can be.” -Patricia Fripp

“Never live in the past, but always learn from it.” -Author Unknown

“Looking back gives you regrets. Looking ahead gives you opportunities.” -Author Unknown

“One of the reasons people hold onto the past is because they don’t like their life in the now. You can keep the memories close to your heart, but you must let go of longings in order to plan a better life ahead of you.” -Brigitte Nicole

“When you finally let go of the past, something better comes along.” -Author Unknown

This is MFOL! . . . and we are looking forward to what is coming next . . .

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Road Crossings

3/1/2022

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Picture of a chicken crossing a road and the words, ‘Why did the chicken cross the road? Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

A chicken crossing the road is ‘poultry in motion.’ But why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it sort of happened this way . . .

Carla: Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?
Marlene: She wanted to stretch her legs.

Jane: Why did the goose cross the road?
Jillian: Because the light was green.

Gregory: Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
Megan: Because it ran out of juice.

Stop, Look, and Listen

I stop, I look, I listen,
Before I cross the street.
     I use my eyes,
     I use my ears,
And then,
     I use my feet!

by Author Unknown

Gladys: How do you avoid that rundown feeling?
Clementine: Always look both ways before crossing the road!

Austin: How did the egg cross the road?
Ozzie: It scrambled across.

Margaret: Why did the bad speller cross the road?
Margery: Too get two the other side.

Ticket Against Jaywalking Chicken. Ridgecrest, California: A chicken that got a ticket for crossing the road has clawed his way out of it. The $54 (RM205.20) citation for impeding traffic was dismissed after Linc and Helena Moore’s attorney argued that the fowl was domesticated and could not be charged as livestock. State law restricts livestock on highways, but not domestic animals. The chicken was ticketed on 26 March for impeding traffic after it wandered onto a road in Johannesburg, a rural mining town southeast of Ridgecrest. -AP

Octavius: Why did the frog hop across the road?
Augustus: To see what the chicken was doing!

Patrice: Why did it take so long for the elephant to cross the road?
Tricia: Because the chicken had trouble carrying him.

Bobby: Why did the cat cross the road?
Darin: The chicken had to take a day off to rest after carrying the elephant across.

Artemus: Why couldn’t the hyena cross the road?
Gordon: He was too busy laughing himself silly at that last joke.

Karl: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of ‘crossing’ was encoded into the objects ‘chicken’ and ‘road,’ and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

Wilbur: Did you hear about the two kangaroos that crossed the road?
Orville: Yes, they jumped into each other’s pouches and were never seen again.

Timmy: Why did the raccoon cross the road?
Tammy: Because she was chasing the chicken.

Earl: Why did the procrastinator cross the road?
Lee: Because it was supposed to have been done two months ago!

Barbara: Why did the chicken cross the amusement park?
Candace: To get to the other ride.

Boris: Why did the monster help the little old ghoul across the road?
Doris: Because that is what fiends are for.

Millicent: Why did the polar bear cross the road?
Lucinda: To show the alligator that it could be done.

Paul: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Saul: I don’t know
Paul: To get to your house!
. . . long awkward pause . . .
Paul: Knock, knock.
Saul: Who’s there?
Paul: It’s the chicken from the last joke!

Harpo Marx: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Groucho Marx: Chicken? What is all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost left him, but we needed the eggs!

Justin: Why did the cell cross the microscope?
Dustin: To get to the other slide.

Maryanne: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Gilligan: The traffic started getting rough, the chicken had to cross. If not for the plumage of its peerless tail, the chicken would be lost . . . The chicken would be lost!

Picture of a happy couple crossing a road and the words, ‘Why did the happy couple cross the road? Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Adrienne: Why did the happy couple cross the road?
Addie: So they could get their picture on www.MakeFunOfLife.net and be famous!

Bernard: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Leonard: Just for the fun of it!

Minerva: What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?
Minnie: Catching the chickens as they crossed the road.

First Lab Tech: Why did the function cross the road?
Second Lab Tech: Because it was defined on both sides and continuous.

Kimberly: Why did the rooster cross the road?
Kimmy: He wanted something to crow about.

Bernie: Why did the cows cross the road?
Bonnie: Because they are always on the moo-ve.

Percival: Why did the snake slither across the road?
Perry: To get to the other sss-sss-sss-side!

Henry David Thoreau: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ralph Waldo Emerson: The chicken did not merely cross the road - the chicken transcended it.

Artie: Why did the cookie cross the road?
Marty: To dunk itself in a glass of milk.

Curtis: Why did Captain Hook cross the road?
Howard: To get to the secondhand shop

Eudora: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Reuben: To get to the other side.

Agyrophobia, also called dromophobia, is a persistent fear of roads or of crossing roads. Even when no motor vehicles are present, some sufferers from this affliction still experience intense fear. Agyrophobia comes from the Greek words ‘gyrus’ meaning ‘turning’ or ‘whirling’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear,’ while dromophobia is derived from the Greek words ‘dromos’ meaning ‘running’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’ One of the things that could be said about the chicken that crossed the road is that he was not chicken to cross the road - and you should not be either.

Rhoda: Why did the penguin cross the road?
Ronda: Because the chicken owed it $5.

Tina: Why did the sheep cross the road?
Lena: To get to the baaa-baaa shop for a trim.

Doctor McCoy: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Captain James Tiberius Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Amy: Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Annie: She was trying to catch a boomerang.

Beatrice: Why did the pigs cross the road with their laundry?
Tricia: They wanted to do their hogwash.

Tabitha: Why did the rabbit cross the road?
Christina: To get to the hopping mall.

Buzz Aldrin: Have you heard that a chicken has finally crossed the road?
Neil Armstrong: That is one small step for a chicken . . . one giant leap for all poultry-kind.

Marv: Why did the shoe cross the road?
Irv: Because it’s on your foot.

Jesse: Why did the duck cross the road?
Bessie: To visit the chicken of course!

Jasper: Why did the chicken cross the internet?
Casper: To get to the Make Fun Of Life! Website at www.MakeFunOfLife.net.

Nick: Why did the seal cross the road?
Vick: To get to the otter side.

Marcella: Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?
Marc: To get to the same side.

Siskel: I don’t know why the chickens crossed the road, but I loved it. Thumbs up!
Ebert: I disagree. The whole thing left the audience wondering; the chickens’ crossing the road was never clearly explained, and the chickens didn’t emote very well. Thumbs down.

George: Why did the comedian cross the road?
Jerry: To get to the punchline!

Hugh: Why did the horse cross the road?
Bert: He wanted to visit his neigh-bors.

Julian: Why did the turkey cross the road?
Jillian: To go, “Gobble, gobble! Gobble, gobble!” on the other side.

Picture of a snail crossing a wet asphalt road.

Shelby: Why did the snail cross the road?
Nellie: I don’t know, she hasn’t gotten there yet.

Phillip: Why did the monkey cross the road?
Ophelia: To show he was not chicken.

In Quitman, Georgia, United States of America, chickens are actually prohibited by law from crossing the road.

Petula: Why did the chicken nearly stop crossing the road?
Clark: It got tired of everyone making so many jokes!

Sonny: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Grandpa: In my day, we did not ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. And that chicken would have had to walk barefoot five miles in the snow just to get to that road, too. They just do not make chickens like that anymore!

Can’t get enough of “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Here are a few more: Because . . . the pedestrian sign was flashing “WALK” and the road was clear of moving vehicles; Farmer Brown was across the road calling out, “Here, chick-chick-chick, here, chick-chick-chick,” while tossing corn around on the ground; go ask your mother; go ask your father; to catch the “L” train; to try the new hot ‘n’ spicy bacon double cheeseburger; to catch the show; she had a bee in her bonnet; to take a closer look at the cow; to feather her nest; to see what was on the other side; because at the time it seemed like a good idea; the sky was falling; to catch a falling star; to buy a copy of the new horror novel “Chicken Soup for the Human Soul”; to try to look important; to make a new friend; she was lost and headed in the wrong direction; to try something new; they told her there was a ham sandwich in it for her; to escape global warming; to escape the coming ice age; she was a good and faithful friend; I’m listening; oh, I love you so much; what was the question again?; it’s a little complicated; the other chickens said it couldn’t be done; we would have to look at it from the chicken’s perspective; what was the question again?; she’d already been around the block; to see what she could see; it’s a bit of a mystery, isn’t it?; she knew she’d give the farmer nightmares for years to come; another chicken gave her an odd look; I can’t comment on an ongoing investigation; why don’t we go find out; she was certainly a funny bird, that one; truth be told, nobody really knows . . .

Mitchell: Why did the turtle cross the road?
Shelia: To get to the shell station.

Arlene: What happened when the skunks argued while crossing the road?
Aileen: They raised a big stink.

Eunice: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Eustice: Because the other chickens egged her on.

Tips for Safely Crossing Roads
- Stop, look, and listen.
- Wait until the signal shows “WALK” or a human figure lights up.
- Hold hands and stay together.
- Always look both ways before crossing the road.
- Look left, then right, then left again.
- Stay in the crosswalk.
- Cross at intersections and do not cross at other places.
- Be aware that drivers sometimes drive when and where they should not because they are not good drivers.
- Can you think of other tips for safely crossing roads?

Silvia: Why did the dog cross the road?
Ingrid: To get to the barking lot.

Larry: Why did the kiwi fruit run across the road?
Lawrence: Because it was being chased by a pineapple.

Charlotte: Why did the ambitious man cross the road?
Shelly: Because he was chasing his dreams.

Road Crossings Quiz: Who Am I?
1. I waddle across the road.
2. I bounce or roll across the road.
3. I inch across the road.
4. I dribble across the road.
5. I flow across the road.

Lenny: Why did the scientist cross the road?
Squiggy: Centrifugal force.

Road Crossings Quiz Answers: Who Am I?
1. I am a duck and I waddle across the road.
2. I am a ball and I bounce or roll across the road.
3. I am an inchworm and I inch across the road.
4. I am a basketball player and I dribble a basketball across the road.
5. I am water and I flow across the road.

Chubby: Why did the fat man cross the road?
Tubby: To get some exercise.

Carl: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Claire: Because the early bird catches the worm!

Emily: Why did the spider cross the road?
Amelia: To get to its other web site.

One of the things that can be said about the chicken that crossed the road is that it was not chicken to cross the road - and you should not be either. Be courageous, and have new adventures every day, just like that little feathery chicken!

Mirabelle: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Mabelle: She was excited at the possibility of new adventures!

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Loneliness and Solitude

2/22/2022

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Sometimes being different can be lonely . . . if you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you are not alone in what you are experiencing . . . and yet, you are alone . . . so very, very alone . . .

“You call it being alone. I call it enjoying my own company.” -Author Unknown

“They are never alone that are accompanied with noble thoughts.” -Philip Sidney (1554 - 1586)

“I was never less alone than when by myself.” -Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794): “Memoir” (1796), Volume 1, page 117

“People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.” -Kim Culbertson: “The Liberation of Max McTrue” (3 January 2012) at https://kimculbertson.com/

Jered: Why are bananas never lonely?
Derek: Because they hang around in bunches!

“When they are alone they want to be with others, and when they are with others they want to be alone. After all, human beings are like that.” -Gertrude Stein (1874 - 1946)

Sometimes

Sometimes I like to be alone
And look up at the sky
And think my thoughts inside my head -
Just me, myself, and I.

by Mary Ann Hoberman (born 1930)

“In the silence of night I have often wished for just a few words of love from one man, rather than the applause of thousands of people.” -Judy Garland (pseudonym of Frances Ethel Gumm (1922 - 1969)): as quoted in Barbara Rowes: “The Book of Quotes” (1979)

“Dear sidewalk, please get wider. Sincerely, third friend walking behind feeling excluded.” -Author Unknown

“More than any other human problem, loneliness, the absence of meaningful human connection, drains the joy and sense of purpose from our lives. It explains why people go to shopping centers when they have no intention of shopping. They just need to be somewhere where other people are, hoping that among the hundreds of strangers passing by, they will find one familiar face. It explains why people come home from work or school and immediately switch on the television. They are not interested in the program much of the time, they do not even know what is on. But they are desperate for the sound of another human voice in their lives.” -Harold Kushner (Harold Samuel Kushner (born 1935))

“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.” -Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 - 1900))

How to Deal with Loneliness
- Adopt a pet.
- Take up a hobby or a cause.
- Keep busy with whatever you can find to do.
- Help others or become a volunteer.
- Make friends of strangers.
- Go to places where other people go.
What can you add to this list?

“Although I am a typical loner in my daily life, my awareness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice has prevented me from feelings of isolation.” -Albert Einstein

“Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius.” -Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794)

“Loneliness is the way by which destiny endeavors to lead man to himself.” -Hermann Hesse (1877 - 1962): “Reflections” (1974), number 196

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” -Joseph F. Newton (Joseph Fort Newton (1878 - 1949))

“The pain of loneliness is normal, and is felt by everyone, and is nature’s way of telling us that we are meant to be with others of our own kind.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“It’s better to walk alone, than with a crowd going in the wrong direction.” -Diane Grant (born 1939)

“There is a French proverb: To live happy, live hidden. Where can Brigitte Bardot hide?” -Brigitte Bardot (born 1934)

“Grant me the ability to be alone, may it be my custom to go outdoors each day among the trees and grasses, among all growing things, and there may I be alone, and enter into prayer to talk with the one that I belong to.” -Nachman of Breslov (1772 - 1810)

“One can acquire everything in solitude - except character.” -Stendhal (pseudonym of Marie-Henri Beyle (1783 - 1842))

Picture of a man sitting on a park bench and working on a crossword puzzle, while a large white bird perched on the back of the bench near his shoulder looks quizzically to see what he is doing.

There are times when you want to be alone - but the world will not let you alone!

“I never said, ‘I want to be alone.’ I only said, ‘I want to be left alone.’ There is all the difference.” -Greta Garbo (Greta Lovisa Gustafsson (1905 - 1990))

A guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (a one-hundred-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for its house. He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to a restaurant to have a meal. “Would you like to go to Frank’s Diner with me and have a bite to eat?” he asked the centipede in the box. But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, “How about going out and having a snack with me?” But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time - this time putting his face up against the centipede’s house and shouting, he said, “Hey, in there! Would you like to go get some food with me?” A tiny little voice came squeaking out of the box in reply, “I heard you the first time! I’m putting on my shoes.”

“It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“I like to be alone, but I dislike being lonely.” -Author Unknown

“Loneliness is the most terrible poverty.” -Teresa of Calcutta (also known as Mother Teresa (born Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (1910 - 1997)))

“Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.” -Paul Tournier (1898 - 1986)

“The difference between solitude and loneliness is the quality of the company we keep.” -Author Unknown

“No greater burden can be borne by an individual than to know none who cares or understands.” -Arthur H. Stainback (Arthur House Stainback (1909 - 1994))

“Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone.” -Jarod Kintz (born 1982)

“You keep a lot to yourself because it’s difficult to find people who understand.” -Author Unknown

“If I’m such a legend, why am I so lonely?” -Judy Garland (pseudonym of Frances Ethel Gumm (1922 - 1969))

“The finest hours of life are not those spent among groups of people, but in good conversation with a few, in reading good books, in listening to great music, wandering in a forest of giant Sequoias, peering into a microscope, unraveling Nature’s secrets in a laboratory. The men who have the most to give their fellow men are those who have enriched their minds and hearts in solitude. It is a poor education that does not fit a man to be alone with himself.” -Joel Henry Hildebrand (1881 - 1983)

“In a world full of people we are alone.” -Author Unknown

“Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self.” -May Sarton (pseudonym of Eleanore Marie Sarton (1912 - 1995))

“One form of loneliness is to have a memory and no one to share it with.” -Phyllis Rose (born 1942 as Phyllis Davidoff): ‘Hers’ article published in the “New York Times” (3 May 1984) newspaper, Section C, page 2

“Even in the presence of others he was completely alone.” -Robert M. Pirsig (Robert Maynard Pirsig (born 1928))

“The quiet and solitary man apprehends the inscrutable. He seeks nothing, holds to the mean, and remains free from entanglements.” -I Ching (B.C.E. 1150)

“The truth is that we all know something about loneliness, and that includes even those who might not know what they are feeling when they feel lonely.” -Author Unknown

“My husband, a forester, often has to consult property owners to determine boundary lines. Walking up a dirt road to question one such individual, he encountered signs reading, ‘No Trespassing,’ ‘Beware of Dog,’ and ‘Keep Out - This Means You!’ Finally, arriving at the door, he talked with the congenial, cooperative landowner. When my husband was ready to leave, the man said to him, ‘Come and see me again sometime. I don’t get many visitors up this way.’ The lesson is simple: Ask yourself, am I lonely because of the ‘messages’ I am sending out?” -Author Unknown

“The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness.” -Norman Cousins (1915 - 1990)

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” -Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910))

“City life: Millions of people being lonesome together.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone.” -Henrik Ibsen (Henrik Johan ‘Henrik’ Ibsen (1828 - 1906))

“What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?” -George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Anne Evans, possibly also known as Marian Evans Cross (1819 - 1880)): “Middlemarch” (1871)

Picture of a sign in a green grassy area with the words, ‘What kind of train eats too much? A chew-chew train! AhAHAHAHahAHAHAhahaHAHAHAhah . . . Oh, please call me, I’m so lonely! I need friends . . . 555-1212,’ and a blue sky with white fluffy clouds in the background.

“The lonely one offers his hand too quickly to whomever he encounters.” -Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844 - 1900))

“Learn to enjoy your own company. You are the one person you can count on living with for the rest of your life.” -Ann Richards

William Osler (1849 - 1919), visiting one of London’s leading children’s hospitals, noticed that in a convalescent ward all the children were clustered at one end of the room dressing their dolls, playing games, and playing in the sandbox - all except for one little girl, who sat forlornly on the edge of her high, narrow bed, clutching a cheap doll. The great physician looked at the lonely little figure, then at the ward nurse. “We’ve tried to get Susan to play,” the nurse whispered, “but the other children just won’t have anything to do with her. You see, no one comes to see her. Her mother is deceased, and her father has been here just once - he brought her that doll. The children have a strange code. Visitors mean so much. If you don’t have any visitors, you are ignored.” William walked over to the child’s bed and asked in a voice loud enough for the others to hear, “May I sit down, please?” The little girl’s eyes lit up. “I can’t stay very long this visit,” Osler went on, “but I have wanted to see you so badly.” For five minutes he sat talking with her, even inquiring about her doll’s health and solemnly pulling out his stethoscope to listen to the doll’s chest. And as he left, he turned to the youngster and said in a carrying voice, “You won’t forget our secret, will you? - and mind, don’t tell anyone.” At the door he looked back. His new friend was now the center of a curious and admiring throng.

“When you have shut your doors and darkened your room, remember never to say that you are alone; for you are not alone, but God is within and your genius is within.” -Epictetus (about C.E. 55 - about C.E. 135): “Discourses,” Book I, chapter 14

“Great minds are like eagles and build their nest in some lofty solitude.” -Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860)

“Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.” -Paul Tillich (Paul Johannes Tillich (1886 - 1965)): “The Eternal Now,” page 11

“I owe everything that I have done to the fact that I am very much at ease being alone.” -Marilynne Robinson

“Your thought is easily influenced by the presence of another soul; a person can be completely free only when he is alone.” -Leo Tolstoy

“The worst solitude is to have no real friendships.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626)

“A high degree of loneliness is an inexorable part of being a sensitive and intelligent human. It’s a built-in feature of a complex existence.” -Alain de Botton

“Loneliness is not lack of company, loneliness is lack of purpose.” -Guillermo Maldonado

“A man thinking or working is always alone.” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

“Some people can’t stand being alone. I love solitude and silence. But when I come out of it, I’m a regular talking machine. It’s all or nothing for me.” -Celine Dion

“I don’t want to be alone, I want to be left alone.” -Audrey Hepburn (Audrey Hepburn-Ruston (1929 - 1993))

“I remember being alone a lot as a child, and I still love to be alone.” -Cindy Williams (Cynthia Jane ‘Cindy’ Williams (born 1947))

“I secretly enjoy being alone - hiking alone, skiing alone, walking along the beach alone, going to movies alone. Do not get me wrong, I like sharing my life with other people, but sometimes I really enjoy being as alone as possible.” -Josh Zuckerman

“The thing that makes you exceptional, if you are at all, is inevitably that which makes you lonely.” -Lorraine Hansberry

“I only go out to get me a fresh appetite for being alone.” -George Gordon Noel Byron (also known as Lord Byron (1788 - 1824))

“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” -Diane Von Furstenberg

“The price of being a sheep is boredom. The price of being a wolf is loneliness. Choose one or the other with great care.” -Hugh MacLeod

“Alternate between the solitary and the social. Whether alone or with others, keep serenity.” -Deng Ming-Dao

“One of the most important things you can do on this Earth is to let people know they are not alone.” -Shannon L. Alder at https://www.shannonalder.com/

Just as no day is complete without some fun in it, a trip around the internet is never complete without visiting MFOL! . . .

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Idleness and Industriousness

2/15/2022

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Picture of a leopard lying down on the trunk of a tree that is lying on its side.

Up, you sluggard, and get to work . . . or at least do some meaningful activity!

“I was made to work; if you are equally industrious, you will be equally successful.” -Johann Sebastian Bach (1685 - 1750)

“When was the last time you spent a quiet moment just doing nothing - just sitting and looking at the sea, or watching the wind blowing the tree limbs, or waves rippling on a pond, a flickering candle, or children playing in the park?” -Ralph Marston (Ralph S. Marston, Junior (born 1955))

“Being forced to work and forced to do your best, will breed in you temperance and self-control, diligence and strength of will, cheerfulness and content, and a hundred virtues which the idle will never know.” -Charles Kingsley (1819 - 1875)

“Doing nothing is very hard to do - you never know when you’re finished.” -Leslie Nielsen

“A human being must have occupation, if he or she is not to become a nuisance to the world.” -Dorothy L. Sayers (Dorothy Leigh Sayers (1893 - 1957))

“Idleness is sweet, and its consequences are cruel.” -John Quincy Adams (1767 - 1848)

“The end of labor is to gain leisure.” -Aristotle (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.)

“Resting is rusting.” -Helen Hayes

“A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915))

Every Day Will be Sunday

A young fellow who did not much enjoy working did some work, figuring out that eventually every day will be Sunday. Every year has 365 days. If you sleep eight hours a day, it equals 122 days. This leaves 243 days. If you rest eight hours a day it equals another 122 days. This leaves 121 days. There are 52 Sundays, thus leaving 69 days. If you have a half-day on Saturday, this equals 26 days, and leaves 43 days. If you have 1 and 1/2 hours for lunch every workday, this equals 28 days, leaving 15 days. Two weeks’ vacation equals 14 days. This leaves only one day. And on Labor Day, nobody works.

by Author Unknown

“Tomorrow is the only day in the year that appeals to a lazy man.” -Jimmy Lyons

“Men who have attained things worth having in this world have worked while others idled, have persevered when others gave up in despair, have practiced early in life the valuable habits of self-denial, industry, and singleness of purpose. As a result, they enjoy in later life the success so often erroneously attributed to good luck.” -Grenville Kleiser (1868 - 1953): as quoted in “The Forbes Scrapbook of Thoughts on the Business of Life” (1950)

“People who have time on their hands will inevitably waste the time of people who have work to do.” -Thomas Sowell (born 1930)

“There is no excellence without labor.” -Author Unknown

“The dog that trots about finds a bone.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: My dog is so lazy that he hires other dogs to chase cats for him.

Dwight: Why did the lazy woman have a great big dog?
Edwin: So she would not have to bend down far to pet it.

“Determine never to be idle. No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any. It is wonderful how much may be done, if we are always doing.” -Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826): letter (5 May 1787) to Martha Jefferson

“Too much idleness, I have observed, fills up a man’s time much more completely, and leaves him less his own master, than any sort of employment whatsoever.” -Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

“You get out of anything in proportion to what you put into it.” -Author Unknown

“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow!” -Don Herold (1889 - 1966)

“The forty hour week has no charm for me. I’m looking for the forty hour day!” -Nicholas M. Butler (Nicholas Murray Butler (1862 - 1947))

“Shun idleness. It is the rust that attaches itself to the most brilliant metals.” -Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet (1694 - 1778))

“Don’t just sit there like a bump on a log!” -Author Unknown

“Laziness grows on people; it begins in cobwebs, and ends in iron chains. The more business a man has, the more he is able to accomplish; for he learns to economize his time.” -Matthew Hale (1609 - 1676): as quoted in Tryon Edwards “A Dictionary of Thoughts” (1908), page 242

Overheard: I am allergic to lazy people.

“Laziness is contagious just like hard work is. I didn’t give myself an opportunity to be lazy and I didn’t surround myself with people who are lazy.” -Michael Chandler

In Works of Labor or of Skill I would be busy too:
For Satan finds some mischief still for idle Hands to do.
-Isaac Watts (1674 - 1748): “Divine Songs for Children” (1715)

“The hardest work in life is resisting laziness.” -Author Unknown

Dede: What kind of shoes do lazy people wear?
Bebe: Loafers.

“It’s not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is, what are we busy about?” -Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862): letter (16 November 1857) to Harrison Gray Otis Blake

“Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us. We need hours of aimless wandering or spates of time sitting on park benches, observing the mysterious world of ants and the canopy of treetops.” -Maya Angelou (Marguerite Ann Johnson (1928 - 2014))

“We will be friends forever because I am too lazy to find new ones.” -Author Unknown

Lazy people work harder . . . at being lazy, that is!

Picture of the feet of a person who is lying down on the grass in a park.

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the blue sky, is by no means waste of time.” -John Lubbock (1834 - 1913): “The Use of Life” (1894), chapter IV: ‘Recreation’

“The only problem with having nothing to do is you can’t stop and rest.” -Franklin P. Jones (Franklin Pierce Jones (1908 - 1980))

“Human beings find less rest in idleness than in a change of occupation. If you scoff at the idea, just try it. Instead of collapsing in an easy chair, try tackling your hobby. Or write that neglected letter, or help Johnny to build that radio receiver set. Activity - especially creative activity - is far better recreation than loafing.” -Gardner Hunting (Henry Gardner Hunting (1872 - 1958)): as quoted in “Weekly Unity” magazine

“Luiheid mag aantrekkelijk schijnen, werken geeft bevrediging.” [original German]
“Laziness may appear attractive, but work gives satisfaction.” [translation to English]
-Anne Frank (1929 - 1945): “The Diary of a Young Girl” (1952), ‘6 July 1944’

If little labor, little are our gains;
Man’s fortunes are according to his pains.
-Robert Herrick (1591 - 1674)

“Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.” -attributed to Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

How can we help sluggards become better people? We can urge them on to becoming workers by letting them experience the consequences of their idleness. According to scripture, “For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat. For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies. Now those who are such we command and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘2nd Thessalonians,’ chapter 3, verses 10 through 12

“In idleness there is perpetual despair.” -Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

“Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.” -Jules Renard (Pierre-Jules Renard (1864 - 1910))

“The idler does not waste time; he merely wastes himself.” -Author Unknown

“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” -Marthe Troly-Curtin: “Phrynette Married” (1912), page 256

“Lazy people tend not to take chances, but express themselves by tearing down other’s work.” -Ann Rule

Overheard: I am going to do nothing all day today, starting just as soon as I am finished doing the nothing I did all day yesterday . . .

“The unambitious sluggard pretends that the eminence is not worth attaining, declines altogether the struggle, and calls himself a philosopher. I say he is a poor-spirited coward.” -William Makepeace Thackeray (1811 - 1863)

Rules for Lazy People

1. If you cannot reach it easily, you do not need it.
2. Get it done - but just not today.
3. It is always somebody else’s job.

by Author Unknown

“Make rest a necessity, not an objective. Only rest long enough to gather strength.” -Jim Rohn (Emanuel James ‘Jim’ Rohn (1930 - 2009))

“Men are generally idle, and ready to satisfy themselves, and intimidate the industry of others, by calling that impossible which is only difficult.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“The superstition that all our hours of work are a minus quantity in the happiness of life, and all the hours of idleness are plus ones, is a most ludicrous and pernicious doctrine, and its greatest support comes from our not taking sufficient trouble, not making a real effort to make work as near pleasure as it can be.” -Arthur James Balfour (1848 - 1930)

“Doing nothing results in having nothing.” -Daniel Burke

“The really idle man gets nowhere. The perpetually busy man does not get much farther.” -Heneage Ogilvie (William Heneage Ogilvie (1887 -1971))

“Laziness never arrived at the attainment of a good wish.” -Miguel de Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1547 - 1616))

“There is no such thing as a lazy person; he is either sick or uninspired.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012)): “See You at the Top” (2000)

What might someone be other than lazy? Tired, fearful, sad, overwhelmed, in physical pain, in emotional pain, shy . . . Can you think of anything else?

“He who would do some great thing in this short life, must apply himself to the work with such a concentration of his forces as to the idle spectators, who live entirely to amuse themselves, looks like insanity.” -John Foster: as quoted in C. N. Douglas (Charles Noel Douglas (1863 - 1920)), compiler: “Forty Thousand Quotations: Prose and Poetical” (1917)

“Lazy people are always anxious to be doing something.” -Luc de Clapiers (1715 - 1747)

“A sluggard does not plow in season; so at harvest time he looks but finds nothing.” -Author Unknown: “The Bible,” ‘Proverbs,’ chapter 20, verse 4

“Lazy people are good for just one thing, and that is, making mediocre people look like they have accomplished something in life.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If idleness does not produce vice or malevolence, it commonly produces melancholy.” -Sydney Smith (1771 - 1845): attributed in “The Review of Education” (May 1902)

“Laziness is a luxury that few people can afford.” -Igor Stravinsky (1882 - 1971)

“If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.” -Author Unknown

“It is idleness that creates impossibilities; and where people don’t care to do anything, they shelter themselves under a permission that it cannot be done.” -Robert South (1634 - 1716)

“Be sure to keep busy, so the devil may always find you occupied.” -Vegetius (Publius Flavius Vegetius Renatus)

“Laziness travels so slowly, that Poverty soon overtakes him.” -Benjamin Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790)): “Poor Richard’s Almanack” (1756)

“It is necessary to work, if not from inclination, at least from despair. Everything considered, work is less boring than amusing oneself.” -Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867)

“Merit and fame never crown the lazy.” -Author Unknown

“If you want work well done, select a busy man - the other kind has no time.” -Elbert Hubbard (Elbert Green Hubbard (1856 - 1915)): as quoted in Elbert Hubbard II, compiler: “The Note Book of Elbert Hubbard” (1927)

“Laziness is the seed of all evil.” -Author Unknown: Welsh saying

“He who labors diligently need never despair; for all things are accomplished by diligence and labor.” -Menander of Athens (342 B.C.E. - 291 B.C.E.)

“Work is no disgrace: it is idleness which is a disgrace.” -Hesiod (800 B.C.E. - 720 B.C.E.)

“My son has taken up meditation - at least it’s better than sitting doing nothing.” -Max Kauffmann

“A man is a worker. If he is not that, he is nothing.” -Joseph Conrad (Teodor Józef Konrad Nalecz-Korzeniowski (1857 - 1924))

“Idleness is the root of mischief.” -Author Unknown

“Tomorrow is always the sluggard’s working day; today is his holiday.” -Richard Baxter

“I am always busy, which is perhaps the chief reason why I am always well.” -Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815 - 1902)

“The ruin of most men dates from some idle moment.” -George S. Hilliard

“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” -Sam Ewing (1920 - 2001)

“It is one of the strange ironies of this strange life that those who work the hardest, who subject themselves to the strictest discipline, who give up certain pleasurable things in order to achieve a goal, are the happiest men.” -Brutus Hamilton

“Inactivity is the beginning of all vice.” -C. F. W. Walther (Carl Ferdinand Wilhelm Walther (1811 - 1887)): letter (14 January 1873)

“Indolence is a delightful but distressing state; we must be doing something to be happy. Action is no less necessary than thought to the instinctive tendencies of the human frame.” -William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

Smiling uses fewer muscles and takes less effort than frowning, making smiling a great way for lazy people to contribute something useful to the world . . . the results of more hard work follows . . . on MFOL!

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Opportunities and Possibilities

2/7/2022

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Picture of a road sign with the words, ‘Opportunities Straight Ahead, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net’ and a blue sky with hazy white clouds in the background.

Your golden opportunity awaits . . . right this way, please . . .

“Opportunity, sooner or later, comes to all who work and wish.” -Edward George Geoffrey Smith-Stanley (1799 - 1869)

“Any human anywhere will blossom in a hundred unexpected talents and capacities simply by being given the opportunity to do so.” -Doris Lessing (Doris May Lessing (born Doris May Tayler (1919 - 2013)))

“If you miss an opportunity, that is not the end. Another one will come. Just prepare yourself as best you can so that you do not miss the next one.” -Author Unknown

“Far too many people have no idea of what they can do because all they have been told is what they can’t do. They don’t know what they want because they don’t know what’s available for them.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.” -Demosthenes (384 B.C.E. - 322 B.C.E.)

“When opportunity knocks, don’t be the one to say, ‘Hey, can you get that?’” -Author Unknown

“Opportunity is often dressed up in work clothes.” -Croft M. Pentz

“The bigger the challenge, the greater the opportunity.” -Author Unknown

“I’ve been lucky. Opportunities don’t often come along. So, when they do, you have to grab them.” -Audrey Hepburn (Audrey Kathleen Hepburn-Ruston (1929 - 1993))

“Opportunity follows struggle. It follows effort. It follows hard work. It doesn’t come before.” -Shelby Steele

“A wise man will make more opportunities, than he finds.” -Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626): “Essays” (1625), ‘Of Ceremonies and Respect’

“Be ready when opportunity comes . . . Luck is the time when preparation and opportunity meet.” -Roy D. Chapin, Junior (Roy Dikeman Chapin, Junior (1915 - 2001))

“Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers.” -Author Unknown

“Opportunities comes from knocking on doors until they open.” -Author Unknown

“Be a can-do, will-try person. Focus on what you have and not what you don’t have, what you can do rather than what you cannot do.” -Marian Wright Edelman (born 1939)

“Opportunity does not come and knock on our doors. We must ourselves go knocking on doors to find opportunity, persistently knocking until we have an answer, either yes or no, and then we go on to the next ten thousand doors, one at a time, without pausing between them, smiling as best we are able, and speaking our carefully prepared and memorized introductions in a polite conversational style.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“We must look for the opportunity in every difficulty instead of being paralyzed at the thought of the difficulty in every opportunity.” -Walter E. Cole, Junior (1926 - 2018)

“Opportunities multiply as they are seized.” -Sun-Tzu: “The Art of War” (3rd century B.C.E.)

“Your aspirations are your possibilities.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“You may miss all of the good opportunities if you are willing to try only what you are fairly certain you can succeed at. You have to try many things that might, or might not, work out.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“If you don’t hear opportunity knocking, find another door.” -Author Unknown

“Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don’t recognize them.” -John J. Ingalls (John James Ingalls (1833 - 1900))

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Opportunity.
Opportunity, who?
Fooled you - opportunity only knocks once!

“Some say opportunity knocks only once, that is not true. Opportunity knocks all the time, but you have to be ready for it.” -Louis L’Amour (born Louis Dearborn LaMoore (1908 - 1988))

“If you’re looking for a big opportunity, seek out a big problem.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (Harriett Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940))

“Opportunity is a parade. Even as one chance passes, the next is a fife and drum echoing in the distance.” -Robert Brault (born 1938)

“It is often hard to distinguish between the hard knocks in life and those of opportunity.” -Frederick Phillips

“Opportunities don’t happen, you create them.” -Chris Grosser

“Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald (Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)): “Tales of the Jazz Age” (1922), ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’

“Opportunity is rare, and a wise man will never let it go by him.” -Bayard Taylor (1825 - 1878)

“Thou hast only to follow the wall far enough and there will be a door in it.” -Marguerite de Angeli (1889 - 1987): “The Door in the Wall” (1949)

“Opportunity seems to have an uncanny habit of favoring those who have paid the price of years of preparation.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “Highways of Happiness” magazine

“The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are.” -John Burroughs (1837 - 1921)

“Opportunity is sometimes hard to recognize if you’re only looking for a lucky break.” -Monta Crane (Monta Mildred (Henrichs) Crane (1911 - 2009))

“Wherever there is danger, there lurks opportunity; whenever there is opportunity, there lurks danger. The two are inseparable. They go together.” -Earl Nightingale (1921 - 1989)

“Don’t wait for the right opportunity; create it.” -George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

“Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don’t recognize them.” -Ann Landers (pseudonym of Esther Pauline Friedman ‘Eppie’ Lederer (1918 - 2002))

“Don’t sit down and wait for the opportunities to come; you have to get up and make them.” -Madame C. J. Walker

“Our thoughts and imagination are the only real limits to our possibilities.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1848 - 1924))

“Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon ‘Napoleon’ Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Learn to listen. Opportunity sometimes knocks very softly.” -Author Unknown

“A wise man doesn’t just wait for the right opportunity, he creates the right opportunity.” -Author Unknown

“Let us seize, friends, our opportunity from the day as it passes.” -Quintus Horatius Flaccus (also known simply as Horace (65 B.C.E. - 8 B.C.E.))

“Opportunities are seldom labeled.” -John A. Shedd (John Augustus Shedd (1859 - 1928))

“Most people live, whether physically, intellectually, or morally, in a very restricted circle of their potential being. They make use of a very small portion of their possible consciousness, and of their soul’s resources in general, much like a man who, out of his whole bodily organism, should get into a habit of using and moving only his little finger.” -William James (1842 - 1910): as quoted in “The Letters of William James” (1920)

“You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.” -Author Unknown

“Within our dreams and aspirations we find our opportunities.” -Sue Ebaugh (Sue Atchley Ebaugh)

“Men who are resolved to find a way for themselves will always find opportunities enough; and if they do not find them, they will make them.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904)

“It is one of life’s laws that as soon as one door closes another opens. But the tragedy is we look at the closed door and disregard the open one.” -André Gide (André Paul Guillaume Gide (1869 - 1951))

“Opportunity seekers do not sit at home waiting by the telephone or the computer, nor do they hang out in familiar haunts and with the same old crowd. Opportunity seekers go out and knock on unfamiliar doors and enter intimidating buildings and go up and down on elevators and stairs. They do a lot of walking, dressed and groomed as best they can, doing best what they can with what they have until they have more and know more. They meet people who are better than they are, who outclass them in every way, but they continue on.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Your diamonds are not in far distant mountains or in yonder seas; they are in your own backyard, if you but dig for them.” -Russell H. Conwell (Russell Herman Conwell (1843 - 1945)): “Acres of Diamonds” (1890)

“Opportunity . . . often it comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat.” -Napoleon Hill (Oliver Napoleon ‘Napoleon’ Hill (1883 - 1970))

“Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great. Weak men wait for opportunities; strong men make them.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.” -Doug Larson (1902 - 1981)

“Are you missing opportunities because you are too focused on obstacles?” -Jeffrey Gitomer (born 1946)

Awake! arise! the hour is late!
     Angels are knocking at thy door!
They are in haste and cannot wait,
     And once departed come no more.
Awake! arise! the athlete’s arm
     Loses its strength by too much rest;
The fallow land, the untilled farm
     Produces only weeds at best.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

“It’s hard to hear when opportunity is knocking if you are too busy knocking the opportunity.” -Author Unknown

“What is opportunity, and when does it knock? It never knocks. You can wait a whole lifetime, listening, hoping, and you will hear no knocking. None at all. You are opportunity, and you must knock on the door leading to your destiny. You prepare yourself to recognize opportunity, to pursue and seize opportunity as you develop the strength of your personality, and build a self-image with which you are able to live - with your self-respect alive and growing.” -Maxwell Maltz (1899 - 1975)

“Opportunity knocks once at every man’s door and then keeps on knocking.” -George Ade (1866 - 1944)

“Your only limitations are those you set up in your mind, or permit others to set up for you.” -Og Mandino (Augustine ‘Og’ Mandino II (1923 - 1996))

“Grasp your opportunities, no matter how poor your health; nothing is worse for your health than boredom.” -Mignon McLaughlin (1913 - 1983)

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” -Thomas A. Edison (Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931)): as quoted in John L. Mason: “An Enemy Called Average” (1990), page 55

“Determine your future now by taking hold of every opportunity.” -Debbye Turner

“Look for opportunity. You can’t wait for it to knock on the door . . . You might not be home.” -Jinger Heath

“Opportunity is more valuable than money.” -Grant Cardone (born 1958) at https://grantcardone.com/

“Great minds must be ready not only to take the opportunities, but to make them.” -Charles Caleb Colton (1780 - 1832)

“People wait for opportunity to come along . . . yet it is there every morning.” -Author Unknown: “Dennis the Menace”

“Small opportunities are often the beginnings of great achievements.” -Calvin Coolidge (John Calvin Coolidge, Junior (1872 - 1933))

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

“Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their head turned up way too loud to hear it.” -Brian Vaszily (Brian William Vaszily (born 1970))

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” -Jesus of Nazareth: as quoted in “The Bible,” ‘Book of Matthew,’ chapter 7, verses 7 and 8 (see also verses 9 through 12)

“The activity you’re most avoiding contains your biggest opportunity.” -Robin Sharma (born 1965)

“When opportunity knocks, you can’t say, ‘Come back later.’” -Leonard Turkel (1930 - 2011)

“Learn to ask for what you want . . . The worst people can do is not give you what you ask for - which is precisely where you were before you asked.” -Peter McWilliams (1949 - 2000)

“Little opportunities should be improved.” -Francois de Salignac Fenelon (1651 - 1715)

“We have the power within, but the secret of success is to employ our power and talents and be prepared for opportunity when it comes.” -Walter Matthews (1926 - 2012)

“That old saying about opportunity only knocking once is as archaic as the flat-Earth theory and as patently untrue. Opportunity knocks all the time - and it rings your doorbell, calls you up, and sends you e-mails.” -Victoria Moran (born 1950) at https://mainstreetvegan.net/

“The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“Jumping at several small opportunities may get us there more quickly than waiting for one big one to come along.” -Hugh Allen (Hugh Percy Allen (1869 - 1946))

“Most successful men have not achieved their distinction by having some new talent or opportunity presented to them. They have developed the opportunity that was at hand.” -Bruce Barton (1886 - 1967)

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” -Milton Berle (born Mendel Berlinger (1908 - 2002))

“Opportunities are often things you haven’t noticed the first time around.” -Catherine Deneuve (pseudonym of Catherine Fabienne Dorléac (born 1943))

“Arrange whatever pieces come your way.” -Virginia Woolf (Adeline Virginia ‘Virginia’ Woolf (born Adeline Virginia Stephen (1882 - 1941)))

“Every situation, properly perceived, becomes an opportunity.” -Helen Schucman (Helen Cohn Schucman (born Helen Dora Cohn (1909 - 1981)))

“Opportunity dances with those already on the dance floor.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (Harriett Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940))

“With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable.” -Thomas Buxton (Thomas Fowell Buxton (1786 - 1845)): as quoted in Frank Leslie: “Sunday Magazine” (January - June 1886), Volume XIX, page 89

“When opportunity knocks, don’t question your ability based on your shortcomings. Know your strengths and start your journey!” -Author Unknown

“Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.” -Theodore Roosevelt (Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt (1858 - 1919))

We are MFOL! . . . wishing you always increasing success as you journey through a world of endless possibilities . . .

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Poetic Epigrams

2/1/2022

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Look around the habitable world: how few
Know their own good, or knowing it, pursue.
-Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis (also known as Decimus Junius Juvenalis or simply Juvenal (about C.E. 47 - about C.E. 138)): as quoted in John Dryden (1631 - 1700), translator: “The Satires of Decimus Junius Juvenalis: And of Aulus Persius Flaccus” (1693), Satire 10, lines 1 and 2

Once upon a time, it happened to me,
     the very sweetest thing, that could even be.
It was a fantasy, a dream come true,
     it was the day I saw you.
-Author Unknown

It sounds like stories from the land of spirits
If any man obtain that which he merits,
Or any merit that which he obtains.
-Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834)

Two cats can live as cheaply as one,
And their owner has twice as much fun.
-Lloyd Alexander (Lloyd Chudley Alexander (1924 - 2007))

What is a poetic epigram? Po·et·ic ep·i·gram (pō-ĕt′ĭk ĕp′ ĭ-grăm′), noun: a short and often witty poem expressing a single thought or observation. The word ‘poetic’ is derived from the ancient Greek word ‘poiein’ meaning ‘to make,’ in the sense of ‘to craft.’ The word ‘epigram’ is derived from the ancient Greek word ‘epigraphein’ meaning ‘to write on’ or ‘to inscribe,’ and originally referred to inscriptions on stone monuments in ancient Greece.

What is an epigram? A dwarfish whole;
Its body brevity, and wit its soul.
-Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834) (1809)

A house is built of logs and stone,
     of piles and posts and piers;
A home is built of loving deeds,
     that stand a thousand years.
-Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

A house is made of bricks and beams,
A home is made of love and dreams.
-Author Unknown

Early to go to Bed, and early to rise,
Will make a Man Healthy, Wealthy and Wise.
-Thomas Fuller: “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 6080

The Joke

The joke you just told isn’t funny one bit;
     It’s pointless and dull, wholly lacking in wit;
It’s so old and stale, it’s beginning to smell -
     Besides, it’s the one I was going to tell!

by Author Unknown

Contentment is wealth, the riches of the mind;
And happy is he who can such riches find.
-John Dryden (1631 - 1700)

My mom (who’s on a diet)
     says she’s lost another pound.
I’ve tried to help her find it,
     but it’s nowhere to be found.
-Babs Bell Hajdusiewicz (born 1944)

Pursue thy work without delay,
For the short hours run fast away.
-Author Unknown

Words

A careless word may kindle strife;
     A cruel word may wreck a life;
A timely word may level stress;
     A loving word may heal and bless.

by Author Unknown

Genius, that power which dazzles mortal eyes,
Is oft’ but perseverance in disguise.
-Henry W. Austin (Henry Willard Austin (1858 - 1912)): “Perseverance Conquers All”

When Adam Joked

Whatever trouble Adam had,
     No man in days of yore
Could say, when Adam cracked a joke,
     “I’ve heard that one before.”

by Author Unknown

It’s a beautiful world to see,
Or it’s dismal in every zone,
The thing it must be,
In its gloom or its gleam,
Depends on yourself alone.
-Author Unknown

Great wits are sure to madness near allied,
And thin partitions do their bounds divide.
-John Dryden (1631 - 1700): “Absalom and Achitophel” (1681), part I, lines 163 and 164

Whirls

Big whirls have little whirls,
     That feed on their velocity;
And little whirls have lesser whirls,
     And so on to viscosity.

by Lewis Fry Richardson (1881 - 1953): “The Supply of Energy from and to Atmospheric Eddies” (1920)

“An epigram often flashes light into regions where reason shines but dimly.” -Edwin Percy Whipple (1819 - 1886): lecture to the Boston Mercantile Library Association (October 1846), as quoted in Edwin Percy Whipple: “Lectures on Subjects Connected with Literature and Life” (1850)

No bees, no honey;
No work, no money.
-Author Unknown

The wealth of a man is the number
Of things which he loves and blesses,
And which he is loved and blessed by.
-Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)

Keep out of ruts; a rut is something which
If traveled in too much, becomes a ditch.
-Arthur Guiterman (1871 - 1943)

Short Sermon

To give and forgive
Is a good way to live.

by Author Unknown

Joy and Temperance and Repose
Slam the door on the doctor’s nose.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

Happy Ending?

There are no happy endings.
     Endings are the saddest part,
So just give me a happy middle
     And a very happy start.

by Author Unknown

Oh, words may rhyme,
     And sound sublime,
And sing and shout,
     Yet still say nowt.
-Author Unknown
nowt: nothing; naught

Could fools to keep their own contrive,
On what, on whom could gamesters thrive?
-John Gay (1685 - 1732): as quoted W. H. Kearley Wright, editor: “The Fables of John Gay” (1889), ‘Fable XII: Pan and Fortune,’ lines 25 and 26

Are You a Poet?

You might not think it,
     You might not know it,
But somewhere within you,
     There might be a poet!

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

When the Sun rises, I go to work.
When the Sun goes down I take my rest,
I dig the well from which I drink,
I farm the soil which yields my food,
I share creation, Kings can do no more.
-Author Unknown

Getting Along

We know how to get along
     every single day.
We take turns and share a lot
     while we work and play.

by Author Unknown

That man who lives for self alone
Lives for the meanest mortal known.
-Joaquin Miller (pseudonym of Cincinnatus Heine Miller (born Cincinnatus Hiner Miller (1837 - 1913))): “The Building of the City Beautiful” (1905), Chapter V: ‘How Beautiful!’ page 48

Always Finish

If a task is once begun
     Never leave it till it’s done.
Be the labor great or small,
     Do it well or not at all.

by Author Unknown: possibly also known by the title “Perseverance”

For every evil under the Sun
     There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try and find it;
     If there be none, never mind it.
by Author Unknown: as published in John Newbery, editor: “Mother Goose’s Melody” (1765)

Poetic epigrams vary in structure. They are typically couplets, or poems of two lines; tercets, or poems of three lines; quatrains, or poems of four lines; quintains or quintets, or poems of five lines; and sestains or sestets, or poems of six lines. Poetic epigrams of more than six lines are less common, in keeping with ‘conciseness’ and ‘brevity,’ words often used in describing them. Some have titles, some have none. Poetic epigrams can be found as a few lines within longer poems, in much the same way that couplets, tercets, quatrains, and structures of more lines can be found within much longer poems.

Little strokes
Fell great oaks
-Benjamin Franklin (Benjamin ‘Ben’ Franklin (1706 - 1790))

Your mind is a garden.
     Your thoughts are the seeds.
You can grow flowers
     Or you can grow weeds.
-Author Unknown

Day-Dreamer

Too much thought:
Too little wrought.

by Author Unknown
wrought: brought into being or put together; archaic past tense of ‘work’

That man is thought a dangerouse knave,
     Or zealot plotting crime,
Who for advancement of his kind
     Is wiser than his time.
-Richard Monckton Milnes (also known as 1st Baron Houghton or Lord Houghton (1809 - 1885))
dangerouse: dangerous
knave: a no-good person
zealot: a fanatic

Do not loiter or shirk,
     Do not falter or shrink
But just think out your work
     And then work out your think.
-Nixon Waterman (1859 - 1944)

A Man Said to the Universe

A man said to the Universe:
“Sir, I exist!”
“However,” replied the Universe,
“The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation.”

by Stephen Crane (1871 - 1900): “War Is Kind and Other Lines” (1899)

Think that day lost whose low descending Sun
Views from thy hand no noble action done.
-Jacob Bobart (1641 - 1719)

For he who fights and runs away
     May live to fight another day;
But he who is in battle slain
     Can never rise and fight again.
-Author Unknown: as published in Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774), editor: “The Art of Poetry on a New Plan” (1762)

The Rooster

Hear the rooster crow out loud,
     At the break of day:
          “R-r-r-r-r, r-r-r-r-r!”
He says, “Get your chores done,
     If you want to play.”
          “R-r-r-r-r, r-r-r-r-r!”

by Author Unknown

Would you like to speak to your contemporaries, meaning people now living, or pass on learning across a great span of years, perhaps to coming generations, who have not yet arrived? Write a poetic epigram, carve it in stone, and let the passage of time carry your message to them.

To see a World in a Grain of Sand
     And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
     And Eternity in an hour.
-William Blake (1757 - 1827): “Auguries of Innocence” (1803), lines 1 through 4

This is Make Fun Of Life! . . . the website for which you have been looking . . . is not proper English ever so peculiar?

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Hopes and Dreams

1/25/2022

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Picture of a road sign with the words, ‘Your Dreams Just Ahead, Visit www.MakeFunOfLife.net’ and a blue sky with hazy white clouds in the background.

“Everything begins as a dream.” -Author Unknown

“Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.” -Helen Keller (Helen Adams Keller (1880 - 1968))

“Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.” -Les Brown (Leslie Calvin ‘Les’ Brown (born 1945))

“Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“To accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” -Anatole France (pseudonym of Jacques Anatole François Thibault (1844 - 1924)): as quoted in Sidney Greenberg, editor: “Treasury of the Art of Living” (1964)

“HOPE: Hanging Onto Positive Expectations.” -Author Unknown

“If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.” -Flavia Weedn (Flavia Marie Weedn (1929 - 2015)): “Flavia and the Dream Maker” (1998)

“Hope costs nothing.” -Colette (Sidonie Gabrielle Colette (1873 - 1954))

“Here I possessed nothing in the world. I was no more than a mortal strayed between sand and stars, conscious of the single blessing of breathing. And yet I discovered myself filled with dreams.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (Antoine Marie Jean-Baptiste Roger, comte de Saint-Exupéry (1900 - 1944))

“The hopeful man sees success where others see failure; sunshine where others see shadows and storm.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“The Sun always shines above the clouds.” -Paul F. Davis

“Do all you can to make your dreams come true.” -Joel Osteen (born 1963)

“Hope has two beautiful daughters, named Anger and Courage; Anger at the way things are, and Courage to change them.” -Augustine of Hippo (also known as Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis (C.E. 354 - C.E. 430))

“Dreams come a size too big so you can grow into them.” -Author Unknown

“Have big dreams. You will grow into them.” -Author Unknown

“Hope is not the lucky gift of circumstance or disposition, but a virtue like faith and love, to be practiced whether or not we find it easy or even natural, because it is necessary to our survival as human beings.” -Clara Park

“Hold on to your dreams, for they are, in a sense, the stuff of which reality is made. It is through our dreams that we maintain the possibility of a better, more meaningful life.” -Leo Buscaglia (Felice Leonardo ‘Leo’ Buscaglia, also known as Leo F. Buscaglia (1924 - 1998))

“The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope.” -Barbara Kingsolver (born 1955)

“No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big.” -Author Unknown

“Don’t lose hope. When the Sun goes down, the stars come out.” -Author Unknown

“What steps could you take right now to begin turning your dreams into realities?” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.” -Dale E. Turner (Dale Emerson Turner (1917 - 2006)) at https://www.reverenddaleturner.org/

“While there’s life, there’s hope.” -Terence (Publius Terentius Afer (185 B.C.E. - 159 B.C.E.)): “Heuton timoroumenos,” line 981

“Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.” -John Updike (John Hoyer Updike (1932 - 2009))

“Hope doesn’t require a massive chain where heavy links of logic hold it together. A thin wire will do . . . just strong enough to get us through the night until the winds die down.” -Charles R. Swindoll (Charles Rozell ‘Chuck’ Swindoll (born 1934))

“Set out each day believing in your dreams. Know without a doubt that you were made for amazing things.” -Josh Hinds (Josh Stephen Hinds (born 1973))

“Hope, like the gleaming taper’s light,
Adorns and cheers our way;
And still, as darker grows the night,
Emits a brighter ray.”
-Oliver Goldsmith (1728 - 1774): “The Captivity” (1764), Act II

“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.” -Christopher Reeve (Christopher D’Olier Reeve (1952 - 2004))

“Hope is necessary in every condition. The miseries of poverty, of sickness, or captivity, would, without this comfort, be insupportable; nor does it appear that the happiest lot of terrestrial existence can set us above the want of this general blessing; or that life, when the gifts of nature and of fortune are accumulated upon it, would not still be wretched, were it not elevated and delighted by the expectation of some new possession, of some enjoyment yet behind, by which the wish shall at last be satisfied, and the heart filled up to its utmost extent.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (1750 - 1752), Number 67 (6 November 1750)

“Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall at last unveil.” -John Ruskin (1819 - 1900)

“When the world says, ‘Give up,’ Hope whispers, ‘Try one more time.’” -Author Unknown

“We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.” -Jesse Owens (1913 - 1980)

“Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

“Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.” -Léo Joseph Suenens (1904 - 1996)

“At the darkest moment comes the light.” -Joseph Campbell (1904 - 1987)

“In all things it is better to hope than to despair.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

“Dreams are necessary to life.” -Anaïs Nin (born Angela Anaïs Juana Antolina Rosa Edelmira Nin y Culmell (1903 - 1977))

“Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous.” -Thornton Wilder (Thornton Niven Wilder (1897 - 1975))

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.” -Thích Nhất Hanh (born 1926 as Nguyễn Xuân Bảo)

“It may be that those who do most, dream most.” -Stephen Butler Leacock (1869 - 1944)

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work; you don’t give up.” -Anne ‘Annie’ Lamott (born 1954)

“Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second. Give your dreams all you’ve got and you’ll marvel at the energy that comes out of you.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“There is always hope.” -Author Unknown

“I have had dreams and I have had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.” -Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995)

“Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.” -H. Jackson Brown, Junior (Harriett Jackson Brown, Junior (born 1940))

“The path to a dream is paved with sacrifices and lined with determination. And although it has many stumbling blocks along the way and may go in more than one direction, it is marked with faith. It is traveled by belief in you and others but requires courage, persistence, and hard work. It is conquered with a willingness to face challenges and take chances, to fail and try again and again. Along the way, you may have to confront doubts, setbacks, and unfairness. But when the path comes to an end, you will find that there is no greater joy than making your dream come true.” -Author Unknown

“The capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. It provides human beings with a sense of destination and the energy to get started.” -Norman Cousins (1915 - 1990)

“It is good to dream, but it is better to dream and work. Faith is mighty, but action with faith is mightier. Desiring is helpful, but work and desire are invincible.” -Thomas Robert Gaines (1877 - 1965)

“The only thing that stands in between you and your dreams is the will to try and the belief that it is actually possible.” -Joel Brown at https://www.iamjoelbrown.com/

“Miracles start to happen when you give as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears.” -Richard Wilkins (Richard Stephen Wilkins (born 1954))

“Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Of all the people I have ever known, those who have pursued their dreams and failed have lived a much more fulfilling life than those who have put their dreams on a shelf for fear of failure.” -Author Unknown

“Hope is like the Sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.” -Samuel Smiles (1812 - 1904): “Self-help, with Illustrations of Character and Conduct” (1861), page 67

“At every crossroad, follow your dream. It is courageous to let your heart lead the way.” -Thomas Leland (1722 - 1785)

“Never stop believing in hope because miracles happen every day.” -Author Unknown

“Dreams don’t work unless you do.” -John C. Maxwell (John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947))

“The hopes of men have been justly called waking dreams.” -Basil (C.E. 330 - C.E. 379): letter to Gregory of Nazianzus: as quoted in S. Baring-Gould (Sabine Baring-Gould (1834 - 1924)): “The Lives of the Saints” (1873)

“Hope is as cheap as Despair.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): “Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2542

“Dreams can come true if you take the time to think about what you want in life.” -Author Unknown

“Practice hope. As hopefulness becomes a habit, you can achieve a permanently happy spirit.” -Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

“When you have a dream, you’ve got to grab it and never let go.” -Carol Burnett (Carol Creighton Burnett (born 1933))

“My hopes are not always realized, but I always hope.” -Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso (43 B.C.E. - about C.E. 17))

“Every moment is another chance to make your dreams come true.” -Author Unknown

“False hope is better than no hope at all.” -Lois Greiman (Lois Denise Greiman (born 1959))

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.” -J. K. Rowling (Joanne Kathleen ‘Jo’ Rowling (born 1965)): “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” (1997)

“If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.” -Clement of Alexandria (also known as Titus Flavius Clemens (about C.E. 150 - about C.E. 215))

“Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away.” -Tom Clancy (Thomas Leo Clancy, Junior (1947 - 2013))

“Where there is no hope, there can be no endeavor.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): as quoted in “The Rambler” (6 April 1751)

“All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers.” -Orison S. Marden (Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924))

“The real people of genius were resolute workers, not idle dreamers.” -George Henry Lewes (1817 - 1878)

“For hope is but the dream of those that wake.” -Matthew Prior (1664 - 1721): “Solomon on the Vanity of the World,” book iii, line 102

“All men of action are dreamers.” -James G. Huneker (James Gibbons Huneker (1860 - 1921))

“Trust your hopes, not your fears.” -David Mahoney (David Joseph Mahoney, Junior (1923 - 2000))

“Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.” -Author Unknown

“Hope never abandons you; you abandon it.” -George Weinberg (1929 - 2017)

“Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” -Gloria Steinem (born 1934)

“Great Hopes make great Men.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 1759

“People too weak to follow their own dreams typically tend to find a way to discourage yours.” -Author Unknown

“Always chase your dreams instead of running from your fears.” -Author Unknown

“If it were not for Hopes, the Heart would break.” -Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734): Gnomologia: Adages and Proverbs” (1732), number 2689

“Nothing happens unless first a dream.” -Carl Sandburg (Carl Augustus Sandburg (1878 - 1967))

“Everything that is done in the world is done by the hopeful. No matter your age. No matter your circumstances. No matter your financial wealth. Without hope, nothing is possible. But with hope . . . well . . . watch out.” -Martin Luther (1483 - 1546)

“Your dreams tell you what to do; your reason tells you how to do it.” -Jonas Salk (1914 - 1995)

“Hope is itself a species of happiness, and, perhaps, the chief happiness which this world affords.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784): letter (8 June 1762) as quoted in James Boswell: “The Life of Samuel Johnson” (1791), Volume I

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832): “Faust,” lines 214 and 215, as translated by John Anster (1835)

“In both children and adults, there can be a hard-to-deny link between a robust sense of hope and either work productivity or academic achievement.” -Jeffrey Kluger (born 1954)

“Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.” -attributed to Coco Chanel (Gabrielle Bonheur ‘Coco’ Chanel (1883 - 1971))

“There is nothing like a dream to create the future.” -Victor Hugo (Victor Marie Hugo (1802 - 1885))

“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.” -Christopher Reeve (Christopher D’Olier Reeve (1952 - 2004))

We are MFOL! . . . and our fondest Hopes and Dreams are that you will visit us often . . . as you make your way toward all the good that life has in store for you . . .

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Meeting and Parting

1/19/2022

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Picture of a donkey and a dog standing and facing each other in a grassy area under a shade tree and greeting each other with the Hebrew word Shalom, the English word Hello, the Hindi word Namaste, the Spanish word Hola, the French word Salut, the Dutch word Welkom, the Italian word Ciao, and the Spanish word Bienvenidos.

Most things in life start with hello . . .

“I figured out that I can greet people with ‘soup’ or ‘jello’ and people will hear the words as ‘what’s up’ or ‘hello.’” - Author Unknown

“Be the first to say hello to others. You will have a happier day.” -Author Unknown

Lucy: So, how are you today?
Anne: Just ducky! Quack, quack!

“A simple hello could lead to a million things.” -Author Unknown

Merry may we meet,
     Merry may we be together,
Merry may we part.
     And merry meet again.
-Author Unknown

‘Ciao’ (pronounced as ‘chow’) is an Italian expression that can be said to people both at meeting and at parting.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howie.
Howie, who?
I’m fine. Howie you?

‘Cheerio!’ is a British way of saying at once ‘goodbye’ and ‘be of good cheer.’

Meeting and Parting Without Physical Contact (and Spoken Words Optional)
- Bowing.
- Curtsying.
- Hand gesturing such as the Hippie ‘peace sign.’
- Hand waving.
- Hat tipping.
- Head nodding.
- Saluting.
Can you add to this list?

‘Welkom’ is a Dutch word meaning ‘welcome.’

“Don’t be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.” -Richard Bach (Richard David Bach (born 1936)): “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah” (1977), chapter 18

‘Aloha’ (pronounced as ‘uh-loh-uh or ‘ah-loh-hah’) is Hawaiian for both ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye.’

Matthew: How are you?
Luke: Too blessed to be stressed!

“Why can’t we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn’t work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.” -Charles M. Schulz (Charles Monroe ‘Sparky’ Schulz (1922 - 2000))

‘Bienvenidos’ is a Spanish word meaning ‘welcome.’

When asked how to make goodbyes less sad and scary, our first thought was, ice cream! But maybe better answers exist. Can you think of some?

“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” -Paulo Coelho (born 1947)

Cassidy: What did the buffalo say when his son went off to college?
Cassandra: “Bison!”

‘Salut’ is a French word used informally to mean ‘hello’ or ‘goodbye.’ ‘Bonjour’ is used formally during the daytime, with the meaning ‘good day,’ ‘good morning,’ or ‘hello.’ ‘Bonsoir’ means ‘good evening.’

Goodbyes

Goodbyes are not forever,
     Goodbyes are not the end -
They simply mean I’ll miss you,
     Until we meet again.

by Author Unknown

The proper response to the Irish greeting, “Top of the morning to you!” is “And the rest of the day to yourself!”

Elma: Hi, how are you?
Bert: Better and better!

An Irish Blessing

May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
And the rain fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

by Author Unknown

The word ‘goodbye,’ also spelled good-bye, is a contraction of the Old English phrase, ‘God be by ye,’ which roughly translates to Modern English as, ‘May God be with you.’

Al: How are you, my friend?
Vin: I’m doing swimmingly!

Overheard: If you see me getting smaller, it means I’m leaving.

How are you?
- About average.
- Couldn’t be better.
- Fair to partly cloudy.
- Fit as a fiddle.
- Good.
- Just peachy
- Marvelous.
- Not bad.
- Outstanding.
- Perfect.
- Pretty good.
- Spectacular.
- Super!
So, how are you today?

Picture of five people’s hands, each holding up an inflatable pink letter, spelling the word, ‘Hello.’

The word ‘hello’ was once commonly used as an expression at encountering something unexpected or to call another person’s attention to something. Thomas Edison (Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931)) suggested that the word be used as a greeting when answering telephones.

“It is generally agreed that ‘Hello’ is an appropriate greeting because if you entered a room and said ‘Goodbye,’ it could confuse a lot of people.” -Dolph Sharp (born 1914)

“I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, ‘I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.’ I said, ‘I am.’” -Demetri Martin (Demetri Evan Martin (born 1973))

Carpenter Bob: How are you?
Tailor Jill: Just sew-sew!

‘Namaste’ is a Hindi word meaning ‘farewell,’ used commonly in India.

“Happy trails to you, until we meet again.” -Dale Evans Rogers (pseudonym of Frances Octavia Smith (born Lucille Wood Smith (1912 - 2001))): “Happy Trails” song

It was the briefest of encounters, so I quickly said, “Hello - and goodbye!”

‘So-long’ is derived from the Arabic ‘salaam’ and the Hebrew ‘shalom,’ which roughly translate to English as, ‘peace unto you.’

“There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.” -Author Unknown

The custom of shaking hands began in ancient times when strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed and had no ill intent.

Animal Theme Meeting Lines
- How do you do, caribou?
- What’s the word, hummingbird?
Can you think of others?

Jody: What do wolves say when they are introduced?
Cody: “Howl do you do?”

‘Hola’ is a Spanish word meaning ‘hello.’ ‘Que pasa’ is a casual or informal expression, though often not a preferred greeting because its literal meaning is ‘what happened’ or ‘what is happening.’

“The two hardest things to say in life are hello for the first time and goodbye for the last.” -Moira Rogers (pseudonym of writing team Bree Bridges and Donna Herren)

“When I feel threatened, vulnerable, or insecure, whether it is from simply walking into a room of unknown people, meeting someone for the first time, an unexpected or expected confrontation, or doing something new, I affirm in my mind (over and over): There is no danger, there is no threat. From there, the discomfort lessens and I become open for discovery and adventure.” -Charles F. Glassman (born 1959): “Brain Drain: The Breakthrough That Will Change Your Life” (2009)

“Good-bye is always hello to something else.” -George Ella Lyon (born 1949): “Borrowed Children” (March 1988)

“Fare thee well.” -William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Antony and Cleopatra” (1606 - 1607), Act 4, scene 4

Fare thee well! and if forever,
Still forever, fare thee well.
-Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824)): “Fare Thee Well” (1816), stanza 1

“Until we meet again, may the good Lord take a liking to you.” -Roy Rogers (pseudonym of Leonard Franklin ‘Len’ Slye (1911 - 1998))

Alex: Morning glory.
Felix: Evening grace.

“So long, and thanks for all the fish!” -Douglas Adams (Douglas Noel Adams (1952 - 2001))

“We only part to meet again.” -John Gay (1685 - 1732)

Animal Theme Parting Lines
- Adieu, cockatoo!
- Adios, hippos!
- After a while, crocodile!
- Be well, speedy snail!
- Better shake, rattlesnake!
- Bye-bye, butterfly!
- Can’t stay, blue jay.
- Don’t meander, salamander!
- Good wishes, jellyfishes!
- Goodbye, dragonfly!
- Goodbye, fruit fly!
- Gotta go, buffalo!
- Hasta mañana, iguana!
- Hit the road, hoppy toad!
- See you later, alligator!
- See you soon, hairy baboon!
- See you soon, raccoon!
- See you then, penguin!
- So long, King Kong!
- Stay well, gazelle!
- Take care, grizzly bear!
- Take care, polar bear!
- Ta-ta, chihuahua!
- Toodle-oo, kangaroo!
- Tout de suite, parakeet!
- Until then, little red hen!

Cool Cat: How are things?
Hot Dog: Dyn-o-mite, baby.

Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves when they rode past their king. This custom has become the modern military salute.

“Goodbye is the hardest thing to say to someone who means the world to you, especially when goodbye isn’t what you want.” -Author Unknown

“You will always be my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye.” -Cecelia Ahern

“Sometimes goodbye is not the hardest thing to say . . . sometimes the hardest thing to say is hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianist or supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” -A. A. Milne (Alan Alexander Milne (1882 - 1956)): “Winnie the Pooh” (1926)

“All farewells should be sudden.” -Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron (1788 - 1824)): “Sardanapalus” (1821), act V

Velma: How are things in the fast-paced business world?
Wilma: I’m just about breakin’ even.

Good-night, good-night! parting is such sweet sorrow
That I shall say good-night till it be morrow.
-William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Romeo and Juliet” (1595), Act II, scene ii

‘CU L8R’ is an abbreviation for ‘See you later.’

Jean: How are you?
Gene: Everything’s copacetic*!
*copacetic (koh-puh-SET-ik), adjective: satisfactory; fine.

“Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet again in life.” -Jean Paul Richter (1763 - 1825): as attributed in “The Pulpit Treasury” (March 1884)

Anne: How are you getting along?
Gus: Fair to midlin’.

We’ll meet again,
Don’t know where, don’t know when,
But I know we’ll meet again,
Some sunny day.
-Vera Lynn

The phrase ‘long time no see’ is believed to be a literal translation of a Native American or Chinese phrase as it is not grammatically correct.

Suzette: Y’all come back real soon now, ya hear?
Angus: You mean, like, right now?
Suzette: No, like, later!
Angus: Well, then . . . how about right now, is that later enough?

“‘It is never good dwelling on good-byes,’ she said. ‘It is not the being together that it prolongs, it is the parting.’” -Elizabeth Charlotte Lucy Bibesco (also known as Princess Bibesco, Elizabeth Asquith, and Elizabeth Bibesco; born Elizabeth Charlotte Lucy Asquith (1897 - 1945))

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Willy.
Willy, who?
Willy good to see you today, my friend!

“The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again.” -Charles Dickens (Charles John Huffam Dickens (1812 - 1870)): “Nicholas Nickleby” (1838 - 1839)

Smokey Bear: See ya later!
Woodsy Owl: Owl be seeing you!

Is sticking out your tongue an acceptable way to greet people or to say goodbye to people?

“Farewell! God knows when we shall meet again.” -William Shakespeare: “Romeo and Juliet” (1595 - 1596), Act 4, scene 3, line 14

World Hello Day is observed on 21 November of each year.

“Sometimes you have to find the good in goodbye.” -Author Unknown

What does it mean to ‘always leave on a high note’? It means to always leave people wanting more by saying uplifting or humorous words when you are on the way out.

“This is not goodbye, it’s just goodnight.” -Alan Freed (1922 - 1965): signature sign-off as a radio announcer

‘Håfa adai’ (pronounced approximately like ‘half a day’ but leaving out the ‘l’ sound in ‘half’) is an expression for ‘hello’ in the native Chamorro language of the island of Guam and the Northern Marianas, both of which are in the Mariana islands chain. The literal translation is ‘what friend’ and the expression is sometimes informally shortened to just ‘håfa.’

“To all, to each, a fair good-night, and pleasing dreams, and slumbers light.” -Walter Scott (1771 - 1832)

Overheard: I like smiling and waving at random strangers, because then they will spend the rest of the day trying to figure out who the mysterious person was that waved at them.

May your hellos always outnumber your goodbyes as you continue on your journey . . . and may you never forget to ‘Make Fun Of Life!’ every day . . .

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Umbrellas and Parasols

1/12/2022

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Picture of a boy and a girl standing under an umbrella on a rainy Autumn day.

Dale: What goes up when the rain comes down?
Gail: An umbrella!

Little Umbrella

I have a little umbrella.
It helps me stay dry.
And on a very windy day,
It even helps me fly!
Open it. Close it.
Oh what fun it can be.
Jumping over puddles,
My little umbrella and me!

by Author Unknown

Shane: If six children and two dogs were under an umbrella, how come none of them got wet?
Shannon: Because it wasn’t raining.

“A rainy day is the only chance an umbrella gets to shine.” -Author Unknown

The word ‘umbrella’ comes from the Latin word ‘umbros’ meaning ‘shade’ or ‘shadow.’

Judy: Why do people carry umbrellas?
Jude: Because umbrellas can’t walk by themselves.

Umbrellas were originally used to shade people from the Sun, like modern parasols, and not to protect people from the rain as they are today. In ancient Greece, umbrellas became a fashion accessory used by men though not women, probably because men tended to be out under the Sun more.

Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 - 1910)) once told a story of trying to get rid of a wreck of an old umbrella. First he threw it in a trash can, but someone recognized it as his, and returned it. Then he dropped it down a deep well, but someone repairing the well saw the umbrella, and returned it. He tried several other methods, but always the umbrella came back. “Finally,” said Mr. Twain, “I lent it to a friend, and I never saw it again.”

Picture of colorful umbrellas suspended in a blue sky with fluffy white clouds.

It’s raining umbrellas!

Bella Had a New Umbrella

Bella had a new umbrella
     Didn’t want to lose it,
So when she walked out in the rain
     She didn’t ever use it.
Her nose went sniff,
     Her shoes went squish,
Her socks grew soggy,
     Her glasses got foggy,
Her pockets filled with water,
     And a little green froggy.
All she could speak
     Was a weak ‘kachoo!’
But Bella’s umbrella
     Stayed nice and new.

by Eve Merriam

“I used the money I had been saving for a rainy day to buy an umbrella.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Keith: Why would anyone need a chicken-proof umbrella?
Kevin: To use in case of fowl weather.

The average life span of cheap umbrellas is one-and-a-half years.

Marla: So what kind of umbrellas do people carry on rainy days?
Marlo: Wet ones.

Why are many umbrellas black? When umbrellas first came into popular use in the 18th century, they were made of oil-soaked cotton cloth stretched over whalebone. Oil was applied to the cotton fabric to make it waterproof. It also gave the cloth a black coloration. While this type of umbrella was waterproof, it was not very durable. Soon, better umbrellas were made, and since the color black was associated with effective waterproofing, most of the newer models were dyed black. However, for safety purposes, brightly colored umbrellas, being more visible to motorists, may possibly decrease the likelihood of collisions with pedestrians. Clear umbrellas are also a good choice as they give their holders the ability to see through them.

“You will need three umbrellas: one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.” -James L. Blankenship

Picture of a woman standing outside and holding a parasol, with green leafy trees and green grass in the background.

“Spin the parasol three times and repeat after me: I shield in the name of fashion. I accessorize for one and all. Pursuit of truth is my passion. This I vow by the great parasol.” -Gail Carriger

The word ‘parasol’ is a combination of ’para’ from the Latin word 'parare' meaning ‘to shield from’ and ’sol’ meaning ‘sun.’

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Spin and Twirl

Spin, spin the parasol
     Spin it, and it flies away -
When it stops,
     It’s somehow on the ground.

Twirl, twirl the umbrella,
     Water droplets fly everywhere.
Twirl it, twirl it,
     And then twirl it once more!

Parasol or umbrella,
     Twirl or spin,
Collapse them and stow them away,
     To twirl or spin on yet another day.

by David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966): “More Boring Poetry”

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National Umbrella Day is observed on 10 February of each year. If it doesn’t rain on that day, it’ll be a big disappointment to many of us!

“Have you noticed that some people are not good at saving money, but somehow always manage to save an umbrella for a rainy day?” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

Picture of a cloud-like parasol made by attaching loose cotton over an old metal umbrella frame from which the cloth canopy is missing.

Your own personal portable cloud-on-a-stick parasol is a great accessory for carrying around on sunny days, and will help keep the Sun off your head. This one is made from fluffy cotton and a broken umbrella.

A successful steel-ribbed umbrella was invented by Samuel Fox in 1852, although some earlier steel-ribbed umbrellas may have existed. The first working folding umbrella was introduced by Bradford Philips in 1969.

Norman: Did you hear about the responsible umbrella manufacturer?
Norma: Yes, they say he is saving his money for a sunny day.

Umbrellas are among the things of which you should always have at least two, in case you lose an umbrella or need to loan one to a friend. The two best times to buy an umbrella are before you need one and when it is not raining. When it starts raining, umbrellas sell quickly, even at inflated prices, and you might not be able to find one to buy.

“I walked around for a few hours. Around one-thirty it started raining lightly. Almost immediately the umbrella sellers turned up on the street corners. You’d have thought they had existed previously in spore form, springing miraculously to life when a drop of water touched them.” -Lawrence Block (born 1938): “Out on the Cutting Edge” (1989)

Marshall: What is big and gray and protects people from the rain?
Marsha: An umbrellaphant!

Umbrellas and Parasols Facts
- Umbrellas help keep the rain off people.
- Umbrellas are made of waterproof material.
- Parasols help keep the sunlight off people.
- Parasols are often not made of waterproof material.

“One thing we have never been able to save for a rainy day is an umbrella.” -Herbert V. Prochnow (Herbert Victor Prochnow, Senior (1897 - 1998))

The rain it raineth on the just
And also on the unjust fella;
But chiefly on the just, because
The unjust steals the just’s umbrella.
-Charles Bowen (Charles Synge Christopher Bowen, also known as Baron Bowen (1835 - 1894)): as published in Walter Sichel: “Sands of Time” (1923)

Picture of two happy smiling boys walking in the rain, and using a large green banana plant leaf as an umbrella.

A friend is someone who has an umbrella when it is raining . . .

“All men are equal - all men, that is to say, who possess umbrellas.” -E. M. Forster (Edward Morgan Forster): “Howards End” (1910)

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The Gingham Umbrella

Alphonso, Alphonso, Alphonso and Arabella
     They happened to meet
A man in the street,
     Who carried a gingham umbrella.

Alphonso possessed neither manners nor grace,
     He made at this person a hideous face;
But how different the conduct of sweet Arabella,
     Who praised with politeness the gingham umbrella.

The man was a nobleman, deeply disguised;
     The compliment courteous he pointedly prized;
‘Sweet creature,’ he said, ‘come away from this feller,
     And take both my heart and my gingham umbrella!’

The very next morning they met in the church,
     And foolish Alphonso was left in the lurch;
And they said, ‘In the future you’ll know how to tell a
     Great lord from a loon, by his gingham umbrella!’

by Laura Richards (Laura Elizabeth Richards (1850 - 1943))

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“It is the habitual carriage of the umbrella that is the stamp of Respectability. The umbrella has become the acknowledged index of social position . . . Crusoe was rather a moralist than a pietist, and his leaf-umbrella is as fine an example of the civilized mind striving to express itself under adverse circumstances as we have ever met with.” -Robert L. Stevenson (Robert Louis Balfour Stevenson (1850 - 1894)) and J. W. Ferrier: “Philosophy of Umbrellas” (1871)

Marissa: What goes up a chimney down, but can’t go down a chimney up?
Clarissa: An umbrella!

Umbrella Etiquette
- Let others stand under your umbrella with you, including people and animals, if your umbrella is large enough, and if the others are not too peculiar.
- Shake the water off your umbrella before entering a building or vehicle, and then either place it inside a plastic bag, in an umbrella stand, or in another place where the water that runs off it will not create a dangerous slippery-slidey floor.

Otis: Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella?
Doris: Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

“Going around under an umbrella interferes with one’s looking up at the sky.” -Jerzy Kosinski

Picture of a boy standing under an umbrella in the pouring rain.

We know you can’t wait for it to rain, so that you can try out your new umbrella, with that great new umbrella smell! More fun follows . . . on MFOL!

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Pessimism and Optimism

1/7/2022

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Picture of four people with solemn expressions standing and holding signs reading, ‘British League of Pessimists’ and ‘National No Smiling Day’ and ‘No! No! No!’ and ‘Join Our Silent Protest.’

The British League of Pessimists is against anything and everything . . .

“Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.” -Mary Lou Retton (Mary Lou ‘Loo’ Retton (born 1968))

“One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.” -Lucille Ball (Lucille Désirée Ball (1911 - 1989))

“Always think positive. For example, I fell down the stairs today and thought, ‘Wow! I sure fell down those stairs fast!’” -Author Unknown

“An optimist is one who makes the best of it when he gets the worst of it.” -Laurence J. Peter (Laurence Johnston Peter (1919 - 1990))

“No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.” -Helen Keller (Helen Adams Keller (1880 - 1968)): “My Key of Life, Optimism: An Essay” (1904)

“No sense in being pessimistic - it probably wouldn’t work anyway.” -Author Unknown

“An optimist is a person who undertakes a seemingly impossible task in a spirit of immeasurable enthusiasm, unbounded determination, unbelievable excitement, indestructible confidence, uncompromising thoroughness, and indefatigable persistence . . . with understandable success.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“Being an optimist after you’ve got everything you want doesn’t count.” -Kin Hubbard (Frank McKinney ‘Kin’ Hubbard (1868 - 1930))

“No one really knows enough to be a pessimist.” -Norman Cousins (1915 - 1990)

“Optimists don’t internalize pain or criticism. They take it for what it is worth and carry on.” -Robert M. Sherfield at http://www.RobertSherfield.com/

“Distance yourself from negativity or it will deplete your well of optimism.” -Jeff Sheehan

“An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out?” -René Descartes (1596 - 1650)

Optimist and Pessimist

Twixt optimist and pessimist,
     The difference is droll*:
The optimist sees the doughnut,
     The pessimist sees the hole.

by McLandburgh Wilson (Florence McLandburgh (1850 - 1934)): poem (1915)
*droll: amusing in an odd way

“You will find yourself refreshed by the presence of cheerful people. Why not make earnest effort to confer that pleasure on others? Half the battle is gained if you never allow yourself to say anything gloomy.” -Lydia M. Child (Lydia Maria Child (born Lydia Maria Francis (1802 - 1880)))

“A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities; an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.” -Reginald B. Mansell (Reginald Baynes Mansell (1897 - 1945))

“An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.” -Walter Winchell (1897 - 1972)

“Pessimism is contagious. One of the ways people catch it is from exposure to news shows on television, radio, and online.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“It can be done.” -Author Unknown

“If the pessimists aren’t happy now, they never will be!” -Author Unknown

“Real optimism has reason to complain but prefers to smile.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“Pessimist: A person who says ‘o’ is the last letter of zero, instead of the first letter of opportunity.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)

“Optimism is essential to achievement and is also the foundation of courage and true progress.” -Nicholas Murray Butler (1862 - 1947)

“A pessimist looks at his glass and says it is half empty; an optimist looks at it and says it is half full.” -Josiah Stamp (1880 - 1941): as attributed in the “New York Times” (13 November 1935) newspaper

“I find, when you’re an optimist, life has a funny way of looking after you.” -Simon Sinek (Simon Oliver Sinek (born 1973))

“Avoid destructive thinking. Improper negative thoughts sink people. A ship can sail around the world many, many times, but just let enough water get into the ship and it will sink. Just so with the human mind: Let enough negative thoughts or improper thoughts get into the human mind and the person sinks just like a ship.” -Alfred A. Montapert (Alfred Armand Montapert (1906 - 1997))

“The optimist regards the future as uncertain.” -Eugene Paul Wigner (also known as E. P. Wigner (born Wigner Jenő Pál (1902 - 1995)))

“Optimism. It’s not just a mind-set, it is behavior.” -Larry Elder (Laurence Allen ‘Larry’ Elder (born 1952)) at www.LarryElder.com

“Criticism and pessimism destroy families, undermine institutions of all kinds, defeat nearly everyone, and spread a shroud of gloom over entire nations.” -Gordon B. Hinckley (Gordon Bitner Hinckley (1910 - 2008))

Optimist: The glass is half-full.
Pessimist: The glass is half-empty.
Efficiency Expert: The glass is twice the required size.

“Real optimism knows the difficulties but believes they can be overcome.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))

“I’ve never seen a monument erected to a pessimist.” -Paul Harvey (1918 - 2009)

“For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else.” -Winston Churchill (Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill (1874 - 1965)): speech (9 November 1954) at the Lord Mayor’s banquet in London, England

“How happy are the pessimists! What joy is theirs when they have proved there is no joy.” -Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach (1830 - 1916): as quoted in Maturin M. Ballou: “Edge-Tools of Speech” (1886), page 251

“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

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The Pessimist

Nothing to do but work,
     Nothing to eat but food,
Nothing to wear but clothes
     To keep one from going nude.

Nothing to breathe but air
     Quick as a flash it is gone;
Nowhere to fall but off,
     Nowhere to stand but on.

Nothing to comb but hair,
     Nowhere to sleep but in bed,
Nothing to weep but tears,
     Nothing to bury but dead.

Nothing to sing but songs,
     Ah, well, alas! alack!
Nowhere to go but out,
     Nowhere to come but back.

Nothing to see but sights,
     Nothing to quench but thirst,
Nothing to have but what we’ve got;
     Thus thro’ life we are cursed.

Nothing to strike but a gait;
     Everything moves that goes.
Nothing at all but common sense
     Can ever withstand these woes.

by Benjamin Franklin King (1857 - 1894)

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“Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist.” -Robert G. Allen (Robert Grant Allen (born 1948))

“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.” -G. B. Stern (Gladys Bronwyn Stern (born Gladys Bertha Stern (1890 - 1973))): as quoted in Karen Weekes: “Women Know Everything!: 3,241 Quips, Quotes, and Brilliant Remarks” (1 March 2007), page 41

“Stick with the optimists. It’s going to be tough enough even if they’re right.” -James Reston (James Barrett ‘Scotty’ Reston (1909 - 1995))

“Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power.” -William James (1842 - 1910)

“As I say yes to life, life says yes to me!” -Louise L. Hay (Louise Lynn Hay (1926 - 2017)) at www.louisehay.com

“The best things in life are free . . . and so are the worst things.” -Author Unknown

“The right train of thought can take you to a better station in life.” -Author Unknown

“So a pessimist walked into a restaurant and said, ‘You’re closed, aren’t you?’” -Author Unknown

“An optimist is the human personification of spring.” -Susan J. Bissonette (Susan Jean Bissonette (born 1938)): as quoted in “Readers Digest” (1979)

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The Hymn of the Pessimist

My grandpa notes the world’s worn cogs,
And says we’re going to the dogs.

His grandpa in his house of logs,
Said things were going to the dogs.

His grandpa in the Flemish bogs,
Said things were going to the dogs.

His grandpa in his hairy togs,
Said things were going to the dogs.

But this is what I wish to state,
The dogs have had an awful wait.

by Author Unknown

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“It’s not that optimism solves all of life’s problems; it is just that it can sometimes make the difference between coping and collapsing.” -Lucy MacDonald

“A pessimist is someone who complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.” -Michael Levine

“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in; a pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” -Bill Vaughan (William Edward ‘Bill’ Vaughan also known by pseudonym Burton Hillis (1915 - 1977)): “Senator Soaper Opines” (31 December 1963) newspaper column in the “Evening World-Herald,” page 16, column 2

“Always look on the bright side of life. Otherwise it’ll be too dark to read.” -Author Unknown

“Optimism is the one quality more associated with success and happiness than any other.” -Brian Tracy (born 1944)

“In the long run, the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.” -Daniel L. Reardon

“Be courageous. Change and improve each day. Do your best and don’t look back. See learning and change as opportunities. Try new things. Consider several options. Meet new people. Ask lots of questions. Keep track of your mental and physical health. Be optimistic.” -Donald Martin

“Pessimist: A person who views the world through woes-colored glasses.” -Author Unknown

Overheard: I would like to be an optimist, but I doubt that it would work out.

“One day someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. And he said, ‘Is it half full or half empty?’ So I drank the water. No more problem.” -Alexander Jodorowsky

“What people forget is a journey to nowhere starts with a single step, too.” -Chuck Palahniuk: “Survivor” (17 February 1999)

“The habit of looking on the best side of every event is worth more than a thousand pounds a year.” -Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

“If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.” -Steven Wright (Steven Alexander Wright (born 1955))

“The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.” -James Branch Cabell (1879 - 1958): “The Silver Stallion” (1926), Chapter 6

“People who wonder whether the glass is half full or half empty miss the point. The glass is refillable.” -Author Unknown

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement; nothing can be done without hope.” -Helen Keller (Helen Adams Keller (1880 - 1968)): “Optimism” (1903)

“A stumbling-block to the pessimist is a stepping-stone to the optimist.” -Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor ‘Eleanor’ Roosevelt (1884 - 1962))

“Optimist: Someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s a cha-cha.” -Robert Brault (born 1938) at RBrault.blogspot.com

“I’m so optimistic I’d go after Moby Dick in a row boat and take the tartar sauce with me.” -Zig Ziglar (Hilary Hinton ‘Zig’ Ziglar (1926 - 2012))

“Optimism refuses to believe that the road ends without options.” -Robert H. Schuller (Robert Harold Schuller (1926 - 2015))

Marcella: How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?
Marcia: None; a new one will not work any better than the burned-out one did.

“Optimism will grow like a flower if the soil be properly prepared.” -Arthur Lynch

“Pessimism wilts everything around it.” -Michael Levine

“Optimists find joy in small things. They enjoy sunsets, a good conversation with a close friend; and they enjoy life in general. They are more concerned with having many small joys rather than having one huge joy.” -Robert M. Sherfield at http://www.RobertSherfield.com/

“Optimism is the sunshine of the soul.” -Author Unknown

“Optimism inspires, energizes, and brings out our best. It points the mind toward possibilities and helps us think creatively past problems.” -Price Pritchett

“An optimistic point of view will always look much better on you!” -Susan Librener

This is MFOL! . . . where life is good - who are we kidding - life is great!

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