UFO’s and Extraterrestrials

​“We come in peace.” -Unidentified Extraterrestrial
 
“Innumerable Suns exist; innumerable Earths revolve around these Suns in a manner similar to the way the seven planets revolve around our Sun. Living beings inhabit these worlds.” -Giordano Bruno (born as Filippo Bruno (1548 - 1600)): “On the Infinite Universe and Worlds” (1584)
 
“Take me to your leader.” -Unidentified Extraterrestrial
 
Eddy: What did the metric alien say?
Freddy: “Take me to your liter.”
 
Scientists have yet to discover a sign of extraterrestrial life, but the discovery of planets outside of our solar system, having what is believed to be life-sustaining matter and supposedly habitable climates, is claimed to be a promising possible indication of life beyond Earth.
 
It Came from Outer Space
 
There was a Martian named Zed
With antennae all over his head.
     He sent out a lot
     Of di-di-dash-dot,
But nobody knows what he said.
 
by John Ciardi (John Anthony Ciardi (1916 - 1986))
 
“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the Universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.” -Bill Watterson (Bill Watterson II (born 1958))
 
Bernice: What are the slowest space monsters?
Bernard: Snailiens!
 
Extra = beyond. Terrestrial = Earth. Extraterrestrial = beyond Earth.

​If the United States government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on 16 July 1969, make it illegal for American citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?
 
“Personally, I don’t think there’s intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?” -Bob Monkhouse (Robert Alan ‘Bob’ Monkhouse (1928 - 2003))
 
Otis: Where do alien fish swim?
Otto: In the Galax Sea. (galaxy)
 
Two outer space aliens stopped to look at a parking meter. One of them picked up a quarter from the ground, and after a little trial and error, inserted the quarter into the meter. When she saw the needle on the dial move, she said to her companion, “How about that? I weigh an hour.”
 
Hans: What did the space alien cook for breakfast?
Hansel: An Unidentified Frying Object (UFO).
 
The Alien
 
The alien
     Was as round as the Moon.
Five legs he had
     And his ears played a tune.
His hair was pink
     And his knees were green,
He was the funniest thing I’d seen
     As he danced in the door
Of his strange spacecraft,
     He looked at me -
And laughed and laughed!
 
by Julie Holder

Curiously, now that so many people have cell phones with built-in cameras, claims of Unidentified Flying Objects sightings have dropped to nearly zero. You would think that just the opposite would be the case if UFO’s were real.
 
Pam: Have you ever noticed that space aliens have no noses?
Sam: Really? How do they smell?
Pam: Terrible!
 
“I think that it is much more likely that the reports of flying saucers are the results of the known irrational characteristics of terrestrial intelligence than of the unknown rational efforts of extra-terrestrial intelligence.” -Richard Feynman (Richard Phillips Feynman (1918 - 1988))
 
Ella: If you run into a three-headed alien, what should you say?
Ellie: “Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye!”
 
Autogeddon
 
If an alien were to hover a few
     Hundred yards above the planet
It could be forgiven for thinking
     That cars were the dominant life form,
And that human beings were a kind of
     Ambulatory fuel cell:
Injected when the car wished to move off,
     And ejected when they were spent.
 
by Heathcote Williams (1988)
 
“Klaatu barada nikto!” -Author Unknown: “The Day the Earth Stood Still,” line of fictional character Helen Benson (portrayed by actor Patricia Neal)
 
“Sometimes I think we’re alone in the Universe, and sometimes I think we’re not. In either case the idea is quite staggering.” -Arthur C. Clarke (Arthur Charles Clarke (1917 - 2008))
 
Greta: What kind of music do aliens listen to in their spaceships?
Gretchen: Neptunes!

​Overheard: Are you from outer space . . . or just from out of town?
 
The shocking truth: Extraterrestrials and their spacecraft, commonly called UFO’s, possibly have never visited Earth and may not even exist. The entire space aliens and alien spacecraft idea was a propaganda campaign created by the government of the United States of America around the end of World War 2, and continued over the next several years. It was an attempt to gain a psychological edge over the former Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (U.S.S.R.) and to provide a cover story to civilians when experimental aircraft crashed, as both sides raced to reach supremacy during the Cold War Era. The technologies that now allow us to have cell phones, computers, and other comparatively recent and stunning advances, are not reverse-engineered from alien technologies, but have been created entirely by our fellow human beings.
 
“There are many intelligent species in the Universe. They are all owned by cats.” -Author Unknown
 
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In 1967, former United States Navy aviator and aviation writer Jack D. Pickett and his business partner Harold Baker visited MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa, Florida to gather information for an Air Force-sponsored article on historical experimental aircraft. At the edge of the base, they were shown four decommissioned X-planes - all of them flying discs - measuring 20, 40, 70, and 116 feet in diameter.
 
Through interviews with various base personnel, Pickett and Baker concluded that, during the 1950s, the USAF had developed several models of jet-powered flying discs for reconnaissance flights over the Soviet Union. The discs had supersonic capabilities and had, on occasion, reached heights that approached the edge of space (50 miles). Many disc flights - particularly those of the highly successful 40-foot version - were no doubt responsible for many “Flying Saucer” reports during the period. By the early 1960s, all had been retired in favor of more advanced aircraft.
 
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​ 
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Space alien.
Space alien, who?
Just how many space aliens do you know?

​The images shown above are how a United States Air Force Lenticular Reentry Vehicle might have looked. Some information on the experimental flying disk program was declassified in 1997, but none of the original aircraft are known to still exist. The flying disks had problems with flight stability and suffered from a high crash rate, so the American government ultimately chose to use more reliable conventional fixed-wing aircraft designs similar to what are in use today. However, the LRV’s were real aircraft, conceptually designed to operate as re-entry vehicles at high altitudes and in near-space, for reconnaissance (spying) and deploying special (nuclear) weapons. Casual observers who spotted these craft in the sky above them decades ago might have imagined they were seeing flying saucers from outer space that were filled with space aliens.
 
An alien spaceship was running low on fuel, so it landed at a gas station in the middle of the desert near area 51. On one side were printed the letters ‘UFO.’ The station attendant was completely stunned as he came out to see what was going on. Pointing to the side of the craft, he asked, “I’ll bet that stands for ‘Unidentified Flying Object,’ right?” “Nope,” said one of the aliens. “It stands for ‘Unleaded Fuel Only’.”

Experimental aircraft and other seemingly odd things can be seen in the sky from time to time. What does it mean? Inventors, governments, and other folks are simply going about their usual activities, which includes trying out new ideas.
 
First Space Alien: Is there somewhere around here where I can wash up?
Second Space Alien: Sure, just keep going straight ahead until you come to the meteor showers.
 
While the fantasy that beings or entities from other places in the Universe would build spaceships and fly them all the way to Earth might be momentarily fascinating, it might not be the best long-term idea to have as one’s life focus. Planting orchards, teaching Sunday school, learning and using good manners, building furniture, raising children, starting a business, or any of an endless number of other activities, all can yield greater rewards and a richer life than obsessing over the remote possibility of the existence of extraterrestrials and UFO’s. Use your imagination to help you create real things and real results; do not allow fantasies to become your entire life. The risk of living in fantasy is that a person can come to his or her senses at the end of a lifetime having never had anything that was real.
 
Elsa: What did the alien say when he walked into his spaceship?
Elsie: “Ouch!”
 
We can all still watch and enjoy movies about pretend space aliens and pretend people, and we can all still have fun in life, but we must not lose our focus on the real world, in which we live every moment.
 
Cosmo: On what kind of plates do space aliens serve their food?
Astoria: Flying saucers!
 
So, just what is the truth about extraterrestrials and UFO’s? Our conclusion is that alien spacecraft and space aliens have never visited Earth, given the lack of any real evidence, but every person is free to believe as he or she chooses.

Spaceship landmark in Mars, Pennsylvania, United States of America . . . oddly, the aliens were nowhere to be found . . .
 
“What is the name of your spaceship?” we asked. “We call it our ‘Imagination,’” the alien said.
 
Further fantastic fun follows . . . on MFOL!