Mildred: How does one give an elephant a bath?
Dorothy: First, get a very large rubber ducky . . .
Monkey bath: A bath so hot that, as you lower yourself into the tub, you say, “Oo-oo aa-aa, oo-oo aa-aa!”
Dorothy: First, get a very large rubber ducky . . .
Monkey bath: A bath so hot that, as you lower yourself into the tub, you say, “Oo-oo aa-aa, oo-oo aa-aa!”
Mud baths are more popular than some people might be aware. Many rich people pay a whole lot of money just to go to spas and resorts to soak and bathe in mud. Elephants also enjoy bathing in squishy mud baths - just as much as rich people do. However, elephants are much smarter than rich people, so they take their mud baths in the great outdoors and pay . . . nothing!
Michelle: What kind of person steals soap?
Michael: A dirty crook, that’s who!
Michelle: What kind of person steals soap?
Michael: A dirty crook, that’s who!
Handwashing Song
Wash, wash, wash your hands,
Clean them both the same,
Between the fingers, front and back,
Until germs go down the drain!
by Author Unknown (can be sung to the same tune as that of the song, “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”)
Proper Handwashing
1. Wet hands with water.
2. Apply soap.
3. Lather hands, wrists, and lower part of forearms with soap.
4. Scrub thoroughly for half a minute.
5. Rinse with water.
6. Dry.
Aquadextrous (ak-wa·deksꞋtrus), adjective. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with one’s toes.
Queen Isabella I of Spain, who financed Christopher Columbus’ voyage of discovery to the New World, claimed to have bathed only twice in her lifetime. Even France’s King Louis XIV bathed only once a year. But they were not as strange as people might think, because during their time, attitudes toward bathing were very different from those common today. It just goes to show that we have learned a lot as a species, and we doubtless have much more to learn.
“Cleanliness is next to godliness.” -John Wesley (1703 - 1791)
“Cleanliness is next to goodliness.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“Cleanliness is next to impossible.” -Author Unknown
“Dirt is not dirt, but only something in the wrong place.” -Henry John Temple (also known as Lord Palmerston (1784 - 1865))
“Why Dirt Is Good: 5 Ways to Make Germs Your Friends” (2009) is a book by Mary Ruebush, Ph.D., who is an award-winning professor of immunology and microbiology at Kaplan Medical in Bozeman, Montana, United States of America. In the book, she demonstrates a lively mastery of her subject, providing readers with an education in immunology and explaining ‘good germs.’ The book offers medically sound advice, explaining how we can become healthier by exposing ourselves to some of the things in our environment that many of us tend to avoid obsessively.
Wash, wash, wash your hands,
Clean them both the same,
Between the fingers, front and back,
Until germs go down the drain!
by Author Unknown (can be sung to the same tune as that of the song, “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”)
Proper Handwashing
1. Wet hands with water.
2. Apply soap.
3. Lather hands, wrists, and lower part of forearms with soap.
4. Scrub thoroughly for half a minute.
5. Rinse with water.
6. Dry.
Aquadextrous (ak-wa·deksꞋtrus), adjective. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with one’s toes.
Queen Isabella I of Spain, who financed Christopher Columbus’ voyage of discovery to the New World, claimed to have bathed only twice in her lifetime. Even France’s King Louis XIV bathed only once a year. But they were not as strange as people might think, because during their time, attitudes toward bathing were very different from those common today. It just goes to show that we have learned a lot as a species, and we doubtless have much more to learn.
“Cleanliness is next to godliness.” -John Wesley (1703 - 1791)
“Cleanliness is next to goodliness.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
“Cleanliness is next to impossible.” -Author Unknown
“Dirt is not dirt, but only something in the wrong place.” -Henry John Temple (also known as Lord Palmerston (1784 - 1865))
“Why Dirt Is Good: 5 Ways to Make Germs Your Friends” (2009) is a book by Mary Ruebush, Ph.D., who is an award-winning professor of immunology and microbiology at Kaplan Medical in Bozeman, Montana, United States of America. In the book, she demonstrates a lively mastery of her subject, providing readers with an education in immunology and explaining ‘good germs.’ The book offers medically sound advice, explaining how we can become healthier by exposing ourselves to some of the things in our environment that many of us tend to avoid obsessively.
Cats bathe with their tongues, though usually they bathe just themselves.
There are two kinds of people in the world: Some people bathe in the evening before going to bed, and some people bathe in the morning after waking up. Wait, maybe there are more than two kinds of people - what about people who bathe in the middle of the day, or people who bathe twice, first before going to bed, and again after waking up . . .
“A bit of muck never hurt anyone.” -Author Unknown: Yorkshire saying
Ablutophobia is a fear of washing or bathing. Most people with the condition learn over time that cleaning oneself is not to be feared; however, for those with a persistent case of the condition, compassionate counseling may be necessary. Because it can be embarrassing, many ablutophobia sufferers find discussing it difficult, and will need genuine understanding and encouragement in overcoming their fear. Ridiculing or teasing them will make the condition worse, and for those who smell bad, they most likely already know they do, so they won’t be helped by being lectured to or scolded about their body odor. Like most fears, ablutophobia can have a real cause, often being rooted in unpleasant or even traumatic experiences. It can also be a symptom of living in extreme poverty or of being in a family or other relationship in which ongoing abuse occurs, and these root causes would need to be addressed in order to help a person overcome ablutophobia. Ablutophobia is derived from the Latin word ‘ablutere’ meaning ‘to wash off’ and the Greek word ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’
Riddle: The more I dry, the wetter I get - what am I?
Solution: I am a towel.
Young Lady from Crete
There was a young lady from Crete,
Who was so exceedingly neat,
When she got out of bed,
She stood on her head,
To keep from soiling her feet.
by Author Unknown
Why is it that no matter what the color of the bubble bath, the bubbles are white?
There are two kinds of people in the world: Some people bathe in the evening before going to bed, and some people bathe in the morning after waking up. Wait, maybe there are more than two kinds of people - what about people who bathe in the middle of the day, or people who bathe twice, first before going to bed, and again after waking up . . .
“A bit of muck never hurt anyone.” -Author Unknown: Yorkshire saying
Ablutophobia is a fear of washing or bathing. Most people with the condition learn over time that cleaning oneself is not to be feared; however, for those with a persistent case of the condition, compassionate counseling may be necessary. Because it can be embarrassing, many ablutophobia sufferers find discussing it difficult, and will need genuine understanding and encouragement in overcoming their fear. Ridiculing or teasing them will make the condition worse, and for those who smell bad, they most likely already know they do, so they won’t be helped by being lectured to or scolded about their body odor. Like most fears, ablutophobia can have a real cause, often being rooted in unpleasant or even traumatic experiences. It can also be a symptom of living in extreme poverty or of being in a family or other relationship in which ongoing abuse occurs, and these root causes would need to be addressed in order to help a person overcome ablutophobia. Ablutophobia is derived from the Latin word ‘ablutere’ meaning ‘to wash off’ and the Greek word ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’
Riddle: The more I dry, the wetter I get - what am I?
Solution: I am a towel.
Young Lady from Crete
There was a young lady from Crete,
Who was so exceedingly neat,
When she got out of bed,
She stood on her head,
To keep from soiling her feet.
by Author Unknown
Why is it that no matter what the color of the bubble bath, the bubbles are white?
Nothing is quite as welcome after dirty, grimy work as are rest and relaxation . . . except perhaps cleaning up with soap and water.
If soap falls on the floor, does the soap get dirty, or does the floor get clean?
Global Handwashing Day is on 15 October of each year. Let us all wash our hands in celebration!
If soap falls on the floor, does the soap get dirty, or does the floor get clean?
Global Handwashing Day is on 15 October of each year. Let us all wash our hands in celebration!
How do animals keep themselves clean? Chickens take baths by flopping around in dirt and dust, which prevents tics, lice, and other bugs from making their permanent homes under the chickens’ feathers. Pigs also keep bugs off themselves by taking mud baths, and caked-on mud has the additional advantage of reducing pigs’ sunlight exposure, because pigs, like humans, can get unpleasant sunburns.
Bob: Want to hear a ‘dirty’ joke?
Otto: Sure, why not.
Bob: A man fell in the mud.
Otto: Want to hear a ‘clean’ joke?
Bob: What is that?
Otto: The man took a bath!
Ivory bar soap, known for possessing the property of floating in water, was created by accident. A worker in a factory left the soap-making machinery running too long, which caused tiny air bubbles to form in the soap. Customers who bought bars of soap made from this particular batch wrote letters to the manufacturer, saying how much they liked having soap that floated in their bathtubs, and that is the story of how Ivory bar soap came to be the soap that floats.
“One keep-clean is better than ten make-cleans.” -Author Unknown
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
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Reasons to Not Wash
If we take the same excuses that people use for not going to church and apply them to other areas of life, we would realize just how inconsistent people can be in their logic.
1. I was forced to as a child.
2. People who make soap are only after your money.
3. I wash on special occasions like Christmas and Easter.
4. People who wash are hypocrites - they think they are cleaner than everyone else.
5. There are so many different kinds of soap; I cannot decide which one is best.
6. I used to wash, but it got boring, so I stopped.
7. None of my friends wash.
8. The bathroom is never warm enough in the winter or cool enough in the summer.
9. I will start washing when I get older and dirtier.
10. I cannot spare the time.
by Author Unknown
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
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Al: What is the best cure for dandruff?
Lex: Baldness.
If everyone on Earth took a bath in a single day, the entire supply of fresh water on our planet would become dirty, so it turns out that by staying dirty, some people are helping to ensure that the rest of us have clean water. How considerate of them.
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
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Santa Brought a Bar of Soap
A Funny Christmas Poem for Kids
Santa brought a bar of soap.
I asked him for a phone, but nope.
I didn’t get that brand new phone.
Just soap, and fancy French cologne.
He also brought some new shampoo,
some shower gel, and toothpaste too,
a scented candle for my room,
a dozen bottles of perfume,
deodorant and body spray . . .
I wonder what he’s trying to say?
by Kenn Nesbitt (Copyright © 2014 by Kenn Nesbitt. All rights reserved. Reprinted here with permission of the author.)
We extend a special thanks to the author for allowing us to share his poem with our website visitors. To see more of his work, please visit the funny poetry playground of Children’s Poet Laureate Kenn Nesbitt, at www.Poetry4Kids.com. On the site are funny poems and poetry books for children, classic children’s poetry, pictures, games, contests, poetry lessons and activities, and journals, plus a rhyming dictionary, funny poetry podcast, videos, school visit information, and lots and lots more!
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
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“In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty.” -Author Unknown: ‘Imbesi’s Conservation of Filth Law’
Cleanliness and Hygiene Quiz
- What are three things that can help a person become clean?
- How often should a person take a bath or a shower?
- What happens if a person puts on too much perfume, cologne, or other scents?
- When should we wash our hands?
- Why should we wear flip-flops, sandals, or shower shoes when showering in gyms, schools, college dorms, and other places outside of our homes?
- Why should we not share our personal care items, such as toothbrushes, shaving razors, and nail clippers, with other people?
- What is the difference between the words ‘bath’ and ‘bathe,’ besides just the letter ‘e’?
Bob: Want to hear a ‘dirty’ joke?
Otto: Sure, why not.
Bob: A man fell in the mud.
Otto: Want to hear a ‘clean’ joke?
Bob: What is that?
Otto: The man took a bath!
Ivory bar soap, known for possessing the property of floating in water, was created by accident. A worker in a factory left the soap-making machinery running too long, which caused tiny air bubbles to form in the soap. Customers who bought bars of soap made from this particular batch wrote letters to the manufacturer, saying how much they liked having soap that floated in their bathtubs, and that is the story of how Ivory bar soap came to be the soap that floats.
“One keep-clean is better than ten make-cleans.” -Author Unknown
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
Reasons to Not Wash
If we take the same excuses that people use for not going to church and apply them to other areas of life, we would realize just how inconsistent people can be in their logic.
1. I was forced to as a child.
2. People who make soap are only after your money.
3. I wash on special occasions like Christmas and Easter.
4. People who wash are hypocrites - they think they are cleaner than everyone else.
5. There are so many different kinds of soap; I cannot decide which one is best.
6. I used to wash, but it got boring, so I stopped.
7. None of my friends wash.
8. The bathroom is never warm enough in the winter or cool enough in the summer.
9. I will start washing when I get older and dirtier.
10. I cannot spare the time.
by Author Unknown
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
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Al: What is the best cure for dandruff?
Lex: Baldness.
If everyone on Earth took a bath in a single day, the entire supply of fresh water on our planet would become dirty, so it turns out that by staying dirty, some people are helping to ensure that the rest of us have clean water. How considerate of them.
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
Santa Brought a Bar of Soap
A Funny Christmas Poem for Kids
Santa brought a bar of soap.
I asked him for a phone, but nope.
I didn’t get that brand new phone.
Just soap, and fancy French cologne.
He also brought some new shampoo,
some shower gel, and toothpaste too,
a scented candle for my room,
a dozen bottles of perfume,
deodorant and body spray . . .
I wonder what he’s trying to say?
by Kenn Nesbitt (Copyright © 2014 by Kenn Nesbitt. All rights reserved. Reprinted here with permission of the author.)
We extend a special thanks to the author for allowing us to share his poem with our website visitors. To see more of his work, please visit the funny poetry playground of Children’s Poet Laureate Kenn Nesbitt, at www.Poetry4Kids.com. On the site are funny poems and poetry books for children, classic children’s poetry, pictures, games, contests, poetry lessons and activities, and journals, plus a rhyming dictionary, funny poetry podcast, videos, school visit information, and lots and lots more!
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼ l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ l o v e ♥ g r o w ☼
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“In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty.” -Author Unknown: ‘Imbesi’s Conservation of Filth Law’
Cleanliness and Hygiene Quiz
- What are three things that can help a person become clean?
- How often should a person take a bath or a shower?
- What happens if a person puts on too much perfume, cologne, or other scents?
- When should we wash our hands?
- Why should we wear flip-flops, sandals, or shower shoes when showering in gyms, schools, college dorms, and other places outside of our homes?
- Why should we not share our personal care items, such as toothbrushes, shaving razors, and nail clippers, with other people?
- What is the difference between the words ‘bath’ and ‘bathe,’ besides just the letter ‘e’?
And now the star of the show, second in popularity among bath toys only to a bar of soap and a washcloth, it’s the Yellow Rubber Duckies. Everybody applaud . . . try not to look so surprised!
Why do the instructions on hair shampoo bottles read, ‘Lather. Rinse. Repeat’? If we did this, would we never be able to stop?
“The bathtub is an epicurean innovation from England designed to corrupt the democratic simplicity of the republic. We of the medical profession warn against it as a producer of rheumatic fevers, inflammatory lungs, and all zymotic diseases.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The New York Times” (1841) newspaper
This is MFOL! . . . good clean fun . . . without all that soapy residue . . .
Why do the instructions on hair shampoo bottles read, ‘Lather. Rinse. Repeat’? If we did this, would we never be able to stop?
“The bathtub is an epicurean innovation from England designed to corrupt the democratic simplicity of the republic. We of the medical profession warn against it as a producer of rheumatic fevers, inflammatory lungs, and all zymotic diseases.” -Author Unknown: as quoted in “The New York Times” (1841) newspaper
This is MFOL! . . . good clean fun . . . without all that soapy residue . . .