Is this a coven of witches . . . or just a group of women who enjoy playing dress-up for teatime?
Emma: What bounces and cackles?
Emmit: A witch on a trampoline!
Witches Brew
Dash of bat whiskers
Three purple tadpoles
Dollop of goobly goop
One teaspoon frozen rainbow
Two pinches of ghost dust
Sprinkle with troll teeth
Mix thoroughly and simmer
Over low heat for 4 hours
Serve ice cold.
by Author Unknown
Laura: What did the little witch hope to get for her birthday?
Laurel: A haunted dollhouse!
The word ‘witch’ is derived from the Old English words ‘wicca’ meaning ‘wise man’ and ‘wicce’ meaning ‘wise woman.’
Bill: Have you heard about the good weather witch?
Penny: Yes, and she’s forecasting sunny spells!
In 2013, the country of Swaziland passed a law prohibiting witches from flying above an altitude of 150 meters (492 feet). Is this law unfair?
Bonnie: Why does everyone at witches’ conventions wear a nametag?
Lonnie: So they can tell which witch is which witch.
Apparently, even witches get lonely for the company of their own kind. Thus, they gather into ‘covens,’ of between two and thirteen witches. The word ‘coven’ was mostly unused in the English language until 1921, when Margaret Murray advanced the idea that witches across Europe met in groups of 13, which they call covens. When covens gather, they engage in communication with the spirit world, rituals, chants, sharing of news and gossip and recipes for potions and spells, and possibly whatever else your imagination is suggesting to you right now.
Ace: Why do witches carry black cats on their brooms?
Tex: Because elephants weigh too much.
A warlock, or a man-witch, went to the doctor one day complaining of headaches. “It’s because I live in a room with two of my brothers,” he said. “One of them has six goats and the other has four pigs and they all live in the room with us. The smell is terrible.” “Well, couldn’t you just open the windows?” asked the doctor. “Certainly not,” he replied. “My bats would fly out!”
Ruben: What do witches say when they cast the wrong spell?
Benjamin: “Hexcuse me!”
Sign: Witch Parking Only - All Others Will Be Toad.
Sal: What kind of pets do witches have?
Les: Scaredy cats!
The cat, frog, pig, raven, goat, wolf, bat, and mouse were believed to be a witch’s ‘familiar,’ or a spirit in animal form that was used by a witch to perform evil deeds and cast malevolent spells.
Lily: What do you get if you cross a witch with Wintertime?
Lilith: A cold spell.
Simon: What do you call two witches on one broom?
Cinnamon: Broommates.
“Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cackle maniacally, and people back away from you slowly.” -Author Unknown
Wanda: How does a witch make scrambled eggs?
Wendy: She cracks eggs into a pan and gets two other witches to make the stove shake with fright. Then she cackles just like a chicken!
We would not want to attract the ire of any witches, but here is a little secret about the ways of harmless good witches: The ingredients they use in their potions and other concoctions are extraordinarily ordinary, but they give the ingredients fantastic names to keep their recipes secret. So for example, bat wings might really be leaves of cloves, and eye of newt might actually be pearl onions. Some folks just find having secrets makes their lives more interesting - that plus ‘secret recipes’ fetch a higher price in the marketplace than regular ones. On the other hand, malevolent or bad witches might actually use real scales of snakes and warts of toads and hairs of hares in their recipes.
Corey: What is evil and goes around and around?
Courtney: A witch on a merry-go-round.
Shelia: Where does a witch park her broom after she is done flying?
Ophelia: In a broom closet.
Emma: What bounces and cackles?
Emmit: A witch on a trampoline!
Witches Brew
Dash of bat whiskers
Three purple tadpoles
Dollop of goobly goop
One teaspoon frozen rainbow
Two pinches of ghost dust
Sprinkle with troll teeth
Mix thoroughly and simmer
Over low heat for 4 hours
Serve ice cold.
by Author Unknown
Laura: What did the little witch hope to get for her birthday?
Laurel: A haunted dollhouse!
The word ‘witch’ is derived from the Old English words ‘wicca’ meaning ‘wise man’ and ‘wicce’ meaning ‘wise woman.’
Bill: Have you heard about the good weather witch?
Penny: Yes, and she’s forecasting sunny spells!
In 2013, the country of Swaziland passed a law prohibiting witches from flying above an altitude of 150 meters (492 feet). Is this law unfair?
Bonnie: Why does everyone at witches’ conventions wear a nametag?
Lonnie: So they can tell which witch is which witch.
Apparently, even witches get lonely for the company of their own kind. Thus, they gather into ‘covens,’ of between two and thirteen witches. The word ‘coven’ was mostly unused in the English language until 1921, when Margaret Murray advanced the idea that witches across Europe met in groups of 13, which they call covens. When covens gather, they engage in communication with the spirit world, rituals, chants, sharing of news and gossip and recipes for potions and spells, and possibly whatever else your imagination is suggesting to you right now.
Ace: Why do witches carry black cats on their brooms?
Tex: Because elephants weigh too much.
A warlock, or a man-witch, went to the doctor one day complaining of headaches. “It’s because I live in a room with two of my brothers,” he said. “One of them has six goats and the other has four pigs and they all live in the room with us. The smell is terrible.” “Well, couldn’t you just open the windows?” asked the doctor. “Certainly not,” he replied. “My bats would fly out!”
Ruben: What do witches say when they cast the wrong spell?
Benjamin: “Hexcuse me!”
Sign: Witch Parking Only - All Others Will Be Toad.
Sal: What kind of pets do witches have?
Les: Scaredy cats!
The cat, frog, pig, raven, goat, wolf, bat, and mouse were believed to be a witch’s ‘familiar,’ or a spirit in animal form that was used by a witch to perform evil deeds and cast malevolent spells.
Lily: What do you get if you cross a witch with Wintertime?
Lilith: A cold spell.
Simon: What do you call two witches on one broom?
Cinnamon: Broommates.
“Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cackle maniacally, and people back away from you slowly.” -Author Unknown
Wanda: How does a witch make scrambled eggs?
Wendy: She cracks eggs into a pan and gets two other witches to make the stove shake with fright. Then she cackles just like a chicken!
We would not want to attract the ire of any witches, but here is a little secret about the ways of harmless good witches: The ingredients they use in their potions and other concoctions are extraordinarily ordinary, but they give the ingredients fantastic names to keep their recipes secret. So for example, bat wings might really be leaves of cloves, and eye of newt might actually be pearl onions. Some folks just find having secrets makes their lives more interesting - that plus ‘secret recipes’ fetch a higher price in the marketplace than regular ones. On the other hand, malevolent or bad witches might actually use real scales of snakes and warts of toads and hairs of hares in their recipes.
Corey: What is evil and goes around and around?
Courtney: A witch on a merry-go-round.
Shelia: Where does a witch park her broom after she is done flying?
Ophelia: In a broom closet.
Rachel: What do witches put on their bagels?
Michael: Scream cheese!
Sandy: What does a witch call for when she checks into a hotel?
Sandra: Broom service.
Wiccaphobia is a persistent fear of witches and witchcraft. Wow, there’s a word for nearly everything, isn’t there?
Donny: How does a witch tell time?
Donald: By looking at her witch-watch.
Josie: What has six legs and flies?
Joey: A witch and a cat on a broom!
“‘A witch ought never be frightened in the darkest forest,’ Granny Weatherwax had once told her, because she should be sure in her soul that the most terrifying thing in the forest was her.” -Terry Pratchett: “Wintersmith” (2006)
Wilma: How can you imagine yourself flying on a broom?
Wilfred: Just engage in witchful thinking!
Angie: Why do witches wear pointy hats?
Angelica: To cover their pointy heads.
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All:
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
Second Witch:
Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder’s fork and blind-worm’s sting,
Lizard’s leg and owlet’s wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
All:
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
by William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Macbeth” (1606), Act IV, scene 1 [A cavern. In the middle, a boiling cauldron], lines 1557 through 1568
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Cora: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Corey: Spelling.
“Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.” -J.R.R. Tolkien (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien (1892 - 1973)): “The Fellowship of the Ring” (1954), book I, chapter 3
Marcy: What has four wheels and flies?
Marcella: A witch on a vacuum cleaner!
Overheard: The local witch once threatened to turn me into a toad, but she changed her mind after thinking it over. She said it would be a waste of a perfectly good spell because no one would notice any change in my appearance!
Darcy: How does a witch lose the weight gained from eating Halloween candy?
Darla: She hex-ercises.
Helen Duncan, a medium, or a person who purports to communicate with the spirit world, was arrested in 1944 in Portsmouth, England. She had been arrested originally for the catch-all charge of vagrancy, but when she came up for trial at the Old Bailey, the police promptly added the charge of witchcraft, and she was tried under the Witchcraft Act of 1735. Her case is the last known instance of a person in England being tried by law as a witch.
Hilda: Why don’t witches ride their brooms when they are upset?
Mathilda: They are afraid of flying off the handle!
Would you be willing to entertain the possibility that witches, along with warlocks, wizards, sorcerers, and sorceresses are not real, but are creations wholly of human imagination? This would mean that some people might like to pretend that they are these things, and some people might accuse other people of being these things, and though they might be either good people or bad people, they are not really witches, warlocks, wizards, sorcerers, or sorceresses.
Felicia: What do little witches eat?
Felicity: Alpha-bat soup!
According to some people, if you wear your clothes inside out and walk backwards on Halloween, you will see a witch at midnight. We strongly advise against doing this, because it could result in tripping, falling, and serious injury. Instead, anyone wanting to see a witch should watch the movie “Hocus Pocus” (1993). It is rated ‘PG’ for ‘Parental Guidance’ advised; however, like all entertainment, it should be reviewed and approved by parents or other grownups for suitability before their children are allowed to see it.
Michael: Scream cheese!
Sandy: What does a witch call for when she checks into a hotel?
Sandra: Broom service.
Wiccaphobia is a persistent fear of witches and witchcraft. Wow, there’s a word for nearly everything, isn’t there?
Donny: How does a witch tell time?
Donald: By looking at her witch-watch.
Josie: What has six legs and flies?
Joey: A witch and a cat on a broom!
“‘A witch ought never be frightened in the darkest forest,’ Granny Weatherwax had once told her, because she should be sure in her soul that the most terrifying thing in the forest was her.” -Terry Pratchett: “Wintersmith” (2006)
Wilma: How can you imagine yourself flying on a broom?
Wilfred: Just engage in witchful thinking!
Angie: Why do witches wear pointy hats?
Angelica: To cover their pointy heads.
^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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All:
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
Second Witch:
Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder’s fork and blind-worm’s sting,
Lizard’s leg and owlet’s wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
All:
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
by William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616): “Macbeth” (1606), Act IV, scene 1 [A cavern. In the middle, a boiling cauldron], lines 1557 through 1568
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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Cora: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Corey: Spelling.
“Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.” -J.R.R. Tolkien (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien (1892 - 1973)): “The Fellowship of the Ring” (1954), book I, chapter 3
Marcy: What has four wheels and flies?
Marcella: A witch on a vacuum cleaner!
Overheard: The local witch once threatened to turn me into a toad, but she changed her mind after thinking it over. She said it would be a waste of a perfectly good spell because no one would notice any change in my appearance!
Darcy: How does a witch lose the weight gained from eating Halloween candy?
Darla: She hex-ercises.
Helen Duncan, a medium, or a person who purports to communicate with the spirit world, was arrested in 1944 in Portsmouth, England. She had been arrested originally for the catch-all charge of vagrancy, but when she came up for trial at the Old Bailey, the police promptly added the charge of witchcraft, and she was tried under the Witchcraft Act of 1735. Her case is the last known instance of a person in England being tried by law as a witch.
Hilda: Why don’t witches ride their brooms when they are upset?
Mathilda: They are afraid of flying off the handle!
Would you be willing to entertain the possibility that witches, along with warlocks, wizards, sorcerers, and sorceresses are not real, but are creations wholly of human imagination? This would mean that some people might like to pretend that they are these things, and some people might accuse other people of being these things, and though they might be either good people or bad people, they are not really witches, warlocks, wizards, sorcerers, or sorceresses.
Felicia: What do little witches eat?
Felicity: Alpha-bat soup!
According to some people, if you wear your clothes inside out and walk backwards on Halloween, you will see a witch at midnight. We strongly advise against doing this, because it could result in tripping, falling, and serious injury. Instead, anyone wanting to see a witch should watch the movie “Hocus Pocus” (1993). It is rated ‘PG’ for ‘Parental Guidance’ advised; however, like all entertainment, it should be reviewed and approved by parents or other grownups for suitability before their children are allowed to see it.
At MFOL! we do all of our own stunts, but we must remind folks that flying through the air on a broom involves significant risk, and should be done only after lengthy training, and unlike the man shown in the image above, should be done only with protective equipment including a helmet, goggles, and a parachute.
Cecil: How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
Celeste: With scare-spray.
“The riches of witches are flying brooms, black cats, cookery with cauldrons, loud clear cackles, the camaraderie of covens - and spells that cause itches!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Ted: How do you make a witch itch?
Todd: Just take away the ‘w.’
What should you do if a geometric witch puts a hexagon you?
Irwin: How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
Irving: Just one, but she changes it into a toad!
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Witches’ Menu
Live lizard, dead lizard
Marinated, fried.
Poached lizard, pickled lizard
Salty lizard hide.
Hot lizard, cold lizard
Lizard over ice.
Baked lizard, boiled lizard
Lizard served with spice.
Sweet lizard, sour lizard
Smoked lizard heart.
Leg of lizard, loin of lizard
Lizard a la carte.
by Sonja Nikolay (born 1936)
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Lynne: Which cartoon do witches like to watch on television?
Linda: “The Scare Bears.”
What is the Witching Hour? The hour after midnight, when witches and other supernatural beings are thought to be active, and to which bad luck is ascribed, is called ‘the witching hour’ in folkloric tradition. All honest mortals are to be found at home fast asleep in bed at this time of night, and not wandering about in the dark.
Rutherford: How can you tell twin witches apart?
Ruth: You can never really tell which witch is which.
Wilfred: What would you expect to find on a beach at Halloween?
Mildred: A sand-witch.
“Mortified: A witch’s reaction to being mortalized, or being changed into a mere mortal.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Mandy: Why do witches fly on brooms?
Manetta: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
Tongue twister: If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
Ollie: What do witches like to do on the computer?
Oliver: Use the ‘spell’ checker.
Judy: What did one witch say to the other witch when she asked for a lift?
Trudy: “There’s always plenty of broom for one more.”
We cover a wide variety of topics . . . because one size does not fit all . . . more fun follows . . . on MFOL!
Cecil: How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
Celeste: With scare-spray.
“The riches of witches are flying brooms, black cats, cookery with cauldrons, loud clear cackles, the camaraderie of covens - and spells that cause itches!” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Ted: How do you make a witch itch?
Todd: Just take away the ‘w.’
What should you do if a geometric witch puts a hexagon you?
Irwin: How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
Irving: Just one, but she changes it into a toad!
^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^
Witches’ Menu
Live lizard, dead lizard
Marinated, fried.
Poached lizard, pickled lizard
Salty lizard hide.
Hot lizard, cold lizard
Lizard over ice.
Baked lizard, boiled lizard
Lizard served with spice.
Sweet lizard, sour lizard
Smoked lizard heart.
Leg of lizard, loin of lizard
Lizard a la carte.
by Sonja Nikolay (born 1936)
^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^
l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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Lynne: Which cartoon do witches like to watch on television?
Linda: “The Scare Bears.”
What is the Witching Hour? The hour after midnight, when witches and other supernatural beings are thought to be active, and to which bad luck is ascribed, is called ‘the witching hour’ in folkloric tradition. All honest mortals are to be found at home fast asleep in bed at this time of night, and not wandering about in the dark.
Rutherford: How can you tell twin witches apart?
Ruth: You can never really tell which witch is which.
Wilfred: What would you expect to find on a beach at Halloween?
Mildred: A sand-witch.
“Mortified: A witch’s reaction to being mortalized, or being changed into a mere mortal.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966)
Mandy: Why do witches fly on brooms?
Manetta: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
Tongue twister: If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
Ollie: What do witches like to do on the computer?
Oliver: Use the ‘spell’ checker.
Judy: What did one witch say to the other witch when she asked for a lift?
Trudy: “There’s always plenty of broom for one more.”
We cover a wide variety of topics . . . because one size does not fit all . . . more fun follows . . . on MFOL!
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