Road Crossings

​A chicken crossing the road is ‘poultry in motion.’ But why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it sort of happened this way . . .
 
Carla: Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?
Marlene: She wanted to stretch her legs.
 
Gladys: How do you avoid that rundown feeling?
Clementine: Always look both ways before crossing the road!
 
Sonny: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Grandpa: In my day, we did not ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. And that chicken would have had to walk barefoot five miles in the snow just to get to that road, too. They just do not make chickens like that anymore!
 
Austin: How did the egg cross the road?
Ozzie: It scrambled across.
 
Patrice: Why did it take so long for the elephant to cross the road?
Tricia: Because the chicken had trouble carrying him.

Louisa: Why did the cat cross the road?
Louie: The chicken had to take a day off to rest after carrying the elephant across.
 
Margaret: Why did the bad speller cross the road?
Margery: Too get two the other side.
 
Wilbur: Did you hear about the two kangaroos that crossed the road?
Orville: Yes, they jumped into each other’s pouches and were never seen again.
 
Phillip: Why did the monkey cross the road?
Ophelia: To show he was not chicken.

Gregory: Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
Megan: Because it ran out of juice.
 
Timmy: Why did the raccoon cross the road?
Tammy: Because she was chasing the chicken.

Curtis: Why did Captain Hook cross the road?
Howard: To get to the secondhand shop
 
Boris: Why did the monster help the little old ghoul across the road?
Doris: Because that is what fiends are for.
 
Alexander: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Aristotle: To fulfill its nature on the other side.

Minerva: What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?
Minnie: Catching the chickens as they crossed the road.

Harpo Marx: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Groucho Marx: Chicken? What is all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost left him, but we needed the eggs!

Barbara: Why did the chicken cross the amusement park?
Candace: To get to the other ride.

Millicent: Why did the polar bear cross the road?
Lucinda: To show the alligator that it could be done.

Mirabelle: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Reuben: To get to the other side.

Rhoda: Why did the penguin cross the road?
Ronda: Because the chicken owed it $5.

​Adrienne: Why did the woman cross the road?
Addie: So she could get her picture on www.MakeFunOfLife.net and be famous!
 
Percival: Why did the snake slither across the road?
Perry: To get to the other sss-sss-sss-side!
 
Mabelle: Why did the cows cross the road?
Bonnie: Because they are always on the moo-ve.
 
Artie: Why did the cookie cross the road?
Marty: To dunk itself in a glass of milk.
 
Justin: Why did the cell cross the microscope?
Dustin: To get to the other slide.
 
Kimberly: Why did the rooster cross the road?
Kimmy: He wanted something to crow about.
 
Agyrophobia, also called dromophobia, is a persistent fear of roads or of crossing roads. Even when no motor vehicles are present, some sufferers from this affliction still experience fear. Agyrophobia comes from the Greek words ‘gyrus’ meaning ‘turning’ or ‘whirling’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear,’ while dromophobia is derived from the Greek words ‘dromos’ meaning ‘running’ and ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear.’ One of the things that could be said about the chicken that crossed the road is that he was not chicken to cross the road - and you should not be either.
 
Bernard: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Leonard: Just for the fun of it!

Siskel: I don’t know why the chickens crossed the road, but I loved it. Thumbs up!
Ebert: I disagree. The whole thing left the audience wondering; the chickens’ crossing the road was never clearly explained, and the chickens didn’t emote very well. Thumbs down.

Octavius: Why did the frog hop across the road?
Augustus: To see what the chicken was doing!

First Lab Tech: Why did the function cross the road?
Second Lab Tech: Because it was defined on both sides and continuous.
 
Tina: Why did the sheep cross the road?
Lena: To get to the baaa-baaa shop for a trim.
 
Doctor McCoy: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Captain James Tiberius Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
 
Karl: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of ‘crossing’ was encoded into the objects ‘chicken’ and ‘road,’ and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.
 
Paul: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Saul: I don’t know.
Paul: To get to your house!
 
. . . long awkward pause . . .
 
Paul: Knock, knock.
Saul: Who’s there?
Paul: It’s the chicken from the last joke!
 
Amy: Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Annie: She was trying to catch a boomerang.
 
Beatrice: Why did the pigs cross the road with their laundry?
Tricia: They wanted to do their hogwash.
 
Kirsten: Why did the rabbit cross the road?
Christina: To get to the hopping mall.

Marv: Why did the shoe cross the road?
Irv: Because it’s on your foot.
 
Bored? Want to have some fun? Get together with your friends and play ‘The Road Crossing Game.’ Here’s how it works. One of you says, “Why did the __________________ (fill in the blank) cross the road?” The other of you tries to reply with a funny answer. The one who comes up with the best answer has the next turn, and you just keep on going with the game.
 
Jesse: Why did the duck cross the road?
Bessie: To visit the chicken of course!
 
Ticket Against Jaywalking Chicken. Ridgecrest, California: A chicken that got a ticket for crossing the road has clawed his way out of it. The $54 (RM205.20) citation for impeding traffic was dismissed after Linc and Helena Moore’s attorney argued that the fowl was domesticated and could not be charged as livestock. State law restricts livestock on highways, but not domestic animals. The chicken was ticketed on 26 March for impeding traffic after it wandered onto a road in Johannesburg, a rural mining town southeast of Ridgecrest. -AP
 
Jasper: Why did the chicken cross the internet?
Casper: To get to the Make Fun Of Life! Website.
 
Nick: Why did the seal cross the road?
Vick: To get to the otter side.
 
Marcella: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
Marc: To get to the same side.
 
Artemus: Why did the snail cross the road?
Gordon: I don’t know, she hasn’t gotten there yet.
 
In Quitman, Georgia, United States of America, chickens are actually prohibited by law from crossing the road.
 
Hugh: Why did the horse cross the road?
Bert: He wanted to visit his neigh-bors.
 
John: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. A historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such a herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.
 
Chrissy: Who lumbered across the road?
Lizzie: A lumberjack.
 
Petula: Why did the chicken nearly stop crossing the road?
Clark: It got tired of everyone making so many jokes!
 
Henry David Thoreau: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ralph Waldo Emerson: The chicken did not merely cross the road . . . it transcended the road.

​Julian: Why did the turkey cross the road?
Jillian: To go, “Gobble, gobble! Gobble, gobble!” on the other side.
 
George: Why did the comedian cross the road?
Jerry: To get to the punchline!
 
Can’t get enough of “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Here are a few more: Because . . . the pedestrian sign was flashing “WALK” and the road was clear of moving vehicles; Farmer Brown was across the road calling out, “Here, chick-chick-chick, here, chick-chick-chick,” while tossing corn around on the ground; go ask your mother; go ask your father; to catch the “L” train; to try the new hot ‘n’ spicy bacon double cheeseburger; to catch the show; she had a bee in her bonnet; to take a closer look at the cow; to feather her nest; to see what was on the other side; because at the time it seemed like a good idea; the sky was falling; to catch a falling star; to buy a copy of the new horror novel “Chicken Soup for the Human Soul”; to try to look important; to make a new friend; she was lost and headed in the wrong direction; to try something new; they told her there was a ham sandwich in it for her; to escape global warming; to escape the coming ice age; she was a good and faithful friend; I’m listening; oh, I love you so much; what was the question again?; it’s a little complicated; the other chickens said it couldn’t be done; we would have to look at it from the chicken’s perspective; what was the question again?; she’d already been around the block; to see what she could see; for the fun of it; it’s a bit of a mystery, isn’t it?; she knew she’d give the farmer nightmares for years to come; another chicken gave her an odd look; I can’t comment on an ongoing investigation; why don’t we go find out; she was certainly a funny bird, that one; truth be told, nobody really knows . . . 
 
Mitchell: Why did the turtle cross the road?
Shelia: To get to the shell station.
 
Arlene: What happened when the skunks argued while crossing the road?
Aileen: They raised a big stink.
 
Eunice: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Eustice: Because the other chickens egged her on.
 
Tips for Safely Crossing Roads
- Stop, look, and listen.
- Wait until the signal shows “WALK” or a human figure lights up.
- Hold hands and stay together.
- Always look both ways before crossing the road.
- Look left, then right, then left again.
- Stay in the crosswalk.
- Cross at intersections and do not cross at other places.
- Be aware that drivers sometimes drive when and where they should not because they are not good drivers.
- Can you think of other tips for safely crossing roads?
 
Silvia: Why did the dog cross the road?
Ingrid: To get to the barking lot.

Larry: Why did the kiwi fruit run across the road?
Lawrence: Because it was being chased by a pineapple.
 
Charlotte: Why did the ambitious man cross the road?
Shelly: Because he was chasing his dreams.
 
Road Crossings Quiz: Who Am I?
1. I waddle across the road.
2. I bounce or roll across the road.
3. I inch across the road.
4. I dribble across the road.
5. I flow across the road.
 
Alex: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Lacy: Don’t ask me, ask the chicken!

Lenny: Why did the scientist cross the road?
Squiggy: Centrifugal force.
 
Road Crossings Quiz Answers: Who Am I?
1. I am a duck and I waddle across the road.
2. I am a ball and I bounce or roll across the road.
3. I am an inchworm and I inch across the road.
4. I am a basketball player and I dribble a basketball across the road.
5. I am water and I flow across the road.
 
Earl: Why did the procrastinator cross the road?
Lee: Because it was supposed to have been done two months ago!
 
Stop, Look, and Listen
 
I stop, I look, I listen,
Before I cross the street.
     I use my eyes,
     I use my ears,
And then I use my feet.
 
by Author Unknown
 
Carl: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Claire: Because the early bird catches the worm!
 
Emily: Why did the spider cross the road?
Amelia: To get to its other web site.
 
Buzz Aldrin: Have you heard that a chicken has finally crossed the road?
Neil Armstrong: That is one small step for a chicken . . . one giant leap for all poultry-kind.
 
Someone could make a full-length movie about a chicken crossing the road - how about you? We have much more humor for you on a huge variety of topics on the Make Fun Of Life! Website - just scroll down the page.