Did you know that it is physically impossible for you to lick your own elbows? Go ahead and try it - just do not injure yourself!
Curious Young Gal
There was a young gal who said, “Why
Can’t I look in my ear with my eye?
If I put my mind to it,
I’m sure I can do it;
You never can tell till you try.”
There are ten human body parts that are only three letters long: eye, hip, arm, leg, ear, toe, jaw, rib, lip, and gum.
In addition to the better-known senses of hearing, sight, touch, smell, and taste, humans have at least fifteen other senses. These include balance, temperature, pain, and time, as well as internal senses for suffocation, thirst, and fullness. Some humans have also been found to have a sense of humor.
Humans are bioluminescent, meaning we glow in the dark, but the light we emit is 1,000 times weaker than our human eyes are able to detect.
Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different. Now stick out your tongue and say, “Aaaaaaaaahhh!”
Gladys: What kind of advice do you get from hands?
Douglas: Finger tips.
About eight percent of people have an extra rib, which is not really all that interesting . . . unless you happen to be a cannibal.
Hair is made of the same substance as fingernails, but you cannot make that fun sound that drives everyone bonkers by running your hair over a chalkboard; only your fingernails can do that.
The average person has 10,000 taste buds. Not all taste buds are on the tongue; about ten percent are on the insides of the cheeks. So, what does your tongue taste like?
Sit down and lift your right foot off the floor, and make clockwise circles. While doing this, draw the number 6 in the air with your right hand. Your foot will automatically change direction, and there is nothing you can do to stop it from doing so. Someone - and by someone we mean you - just kidding! - should investigate this phenomena to find out if it is in any way related to the rise in incidents of people hitting their accelerator pedals when they mean to hit their brake pedals, while driving a vehicle.
Nellie: What did one toe say to the other?
Stella: “Don’t look now, but I think we’re being followed by a heel.”
The normal human body temperature is about 37 degrees Celsius (about 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit). However, it is not uncommon for the temperature of some persons to be just slightly higher than this by as much as a degree due to their increased metabolism - particularly teenagers and young adults. As always, if you are concerned, seek a doctor’s opinion.
Becca: What has one foot on each end and a foot in the middle?
Becky: A yardstick.
The average human body contains enough iron to make a 3-inch nail, sulfur to kill all fleas on an average dog, carbon to make 900 pencils, potassium to fire a toy cannon, fat to make 7 bars of soap, phosphorous to make 2,200 match heads, and water to fill a ten-gallon tank.
I’d rather have fingers than toes,
I’d rather have eyes than a nose;
And as for my hair
I’m glad it’s all there,
I’ll be awfully sad when it goes.
Fingerprints serve another useful function besides helping law enforcement officers catch criminals: the tiny ridges provide traction for the fingers to grasp objects. Fingers are among the many ‘tools’ integrated into our bodies, making humans the ultimate Swiss Army knife of the animal kingdom.
Shin: A specialized anatomical feature of the human body designed for finding furniture in the dark.
There was a young lady whose chin
Resembled the point of a pin;
So she had it made sharp,
And purchased a harp,
And played several tunes with her chin.
The human face has 43 muscles that create 10,000 expressions. It would take a lifetime for a person to try them all out.
Your Nose Is Running
“Your nose is running,” Mother said.
I answered, “Wow! That’s really neat!”
“Why’s that?” she asked. I said, “Because
I never knew my nose had feet.”
“Not everyone can wiggle their ears, you know. It’s something you’re born with.” -Kevin Henkes: “Sun and Spoon” (1997)
Why can humans move their eyes in opposite directions toward their noses, but not in opposite directions away from the noses?
Our bodies burn a large amount of calories just to keep us at a steady 37 degrees Celsius (98.6 degrees Fahrenheit). The human body gives off enough heat in thirty minutes to bring two liters (a little more than two quarts, or half a gallon) of water to a boil. If you could capture and use the heat, you could cook a pasta dinner with it. First, though, you will need some kind of mad scientist laboratory . . .
“The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.” -Thomas Edison (Thomas Alva Edison (1847 - 1931))
The nose is that part of the body that shines, snubs, snoops, and sneezes.
“If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn’t.” -Lyall Watson
Riddle: What can you hold in your right hand that you cannot hold in your left hand?
Solution: Your left elbow.
Ahead: The thing on top of your neck.
Kerry: What should you do if your ear rings?
Karen: Answer it.
Lizzie: How do you keep your ear from ringing continuously?
Beth: Get an unlisted head.
Humans are said to have fifty percent of their DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Acid) in common with bananas. Perhaps we should get to better know the elongated yellow fruit with which we have so much in common?
If the human brain were a computer, it would perform 38 thousand-trillion operations per second. The world’s most powerful supercomputer, Blue Gene, can manage only 0.002 percent of that amount.
Sharon: How do you keep your feet from falling asleep?
Sherry: Wear loud socks.
A typical adult human is made up of more than 37,200,000,000,000 (37.2 trillion) living cells made up of 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (7 octillion) atoms. For perspective, there are a mere 100,000,000,000 (100 billion) stars in our Milky Way Galaxy. Every year, about 98 percent of the atoms in human bodies are replaced by new ones. Now you finally know what is meant by the phrase ‘a whole new you.’
Riddle: What has fingers and thumbs but no hands?
Solution: A glove.
The human body has more than 600 muscles, which make up 40 percent of the body’s weight. Our muscles are actually much more powerful than they usually seem to be. Human strength is limited to prevent our tendons and muscles from tearing themselves apart; however, this limitation can be overcome in an adrenaline rush, during which there are recorded instances of people lifting heavy boulders and even automobiles off people and animals that have been trapped under them.
Joseph: Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Joe: Because it is the ‘scenter.’
At any given time, your brain can generate up to 25 watts of power - enough energy to make a light bulb come on. You are indeed more powerful than you might have known.
Veronica: What has a head but no brain?
Vera: A cabbage.
Human blood has roughly the same concentration of salt as seawater has.
A condition called ‘synesthesia’ can cause the senses to overlap, so that affected people may taste words or hear colors.
Riddle: What can clap without using hands?
People with hexadectylism have six fingers or six toes on one or both hands and feet. This might give them an advantage over the rest of us when it comes to typing and texting, and perhaps other activities involving manual dexterity as well.
A sharp nose indicates curiosity, and a flat nose indicates . . . too much curiosity!
Lionel: What has four legs and one arm?
Lynette: A happy guard dog!
The human liver has more than 500 functions. Getting you to the airport to catch your next flight and washing the dog are not among them.
Norman Norton’s Nostrils
Oh, Norman Norton’s nostrils
Are powerful and strong;
Hold on to your belongings
If he should come along.
And do not ever let him
Inhale with all his might,
Or else your pens and pencils
Will disappear from sight.
Right up his nose they’ll vanish;
Your future will be black.
Unless he gets the sneezes,
You’ll never get them back!
The bump at the front of the throat is called the Adam’s Apple, which is said to be from the forbidden fruit getting stuck in Adam’s throat as he ate it in the Garden of Eden.
Riddle: What has a head and mouth, but no eyes, nose, or ears?
Solution: A river.
The human brain is 70 percent cholesterol . . . and the experts are telling you to cut back on cholesterol - do you see a potential problem with their advice? That’s right, they seem to want you to have a smaller brain!
A Boastful Young Person
“I can pick up a cent with my toes,”
Said a boastful young person named Mose,
But sharp-witted Millie
Replied, “That’s just silly -
I can do the same thing with my nose.”
The human body is divided into three parts: the Brainium, the Borax, and the Abominable Cavity. The Brainium contains the Brain. The Borax contains the Lungs, the Heart, the Liver, and the Living Things. The Abominable Cavity contains the Bowels, of which there are five: A, E, I, O, and U.
If your DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Acid) were stretched out, it could reach to the Earth’s Moon 6,000 times - but would you really want to visit the Moon that often?
Fingertip to fingertip, the width of your armspan stretched out equals the length of your whole body from head to foot, which means you come pretty close to meeting the definition of a ‘square.’
Jenny: What has two legs, two arms, and two heads?
Jennifer: A two-headed monster.
The elements oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, and nitrogen make up 90 percent of the human body. The remaining 10 percent is made up of hamsters running on hamster wheels that make the body able to do things like stand up and walk around.
The next time your anatomy teacher says, “Are there any questions?” raise your hand and ask, “Can a person laugh on the inside and on the outside at the same time?” More ‘MFOL!’ follows just below . . .