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Fairy Tales

8/8/2019

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​No more powerful and alluring words have been devised by humankind than these four: “Once upon a time . . .”
 
Glen: What did Cinderella the Fish wear to the under-the-sea ball?
Gwen: Glass flippers.
 
Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you
If you’re young at heart.
-Carolyn Leigh (1926 - 1983): “Young at Heart” (1954) song
 
Betsy: What is beautiful, gray, and wears glass slippers?
Betty: Cinderellephant!
 
“Life is a fairy tale. But to see it, you must open your eyes.” -Olianna Port
 
Peter: Why couldn’t the three bears get into their house?
Paul: Somebody had put Goldie-Locks on the doors.
 
“A life lesson from a fairy tale: Never look back . . . if Cinderella had gone back to pick up her shoe, she would not have become a princess.” -Author Unknown
 
The Three Little Pigs
 
There was a hungry wolf,
     A-searching for his lunch,
He spotted three cute homes,
     A-sitting in a bunch
The homes of three small pigs,
     Of hay and bricks and sticks.
He tried to blow their houses down,
     But ended in a fix.
 
by Author Unknown
 
Amelia: What gives milk, goes ‘Moo!’ and makes all your wishes come true?
Amy: Your dairy godmother.
 
Cinderella’s slippers were originally made of fur, but the story was changed in the 1600’s by a translator, and her slippers became glass. “Hey, Cinderella, are you wearing bottles on your feet?” “Why, yes, I am. Thank you for noticing!”
 
“Fairy tales are more than true. Not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be defeated.” -G. K. Chesterton (Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874 - 1936))

A tax auditor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turned into a golden coach. ‘Daddy,’ she said. ‘When the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classified as income or a long-term capital gain?’
 
Vernon: What kind of story is “The Three Little Pigs”?
Vera: A ‘pigtail.’
 
“The lesson of fairy tales is clear: You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans.” -Tom Robbins (Thomas Eugene ‘Tom’ Robbins (born 1932))
 
Hansel: Why was Cinderella such an awful football player?
Gretel: Because she had a pumpkin for a coach, she was always running away from the ball, and she kept losing her shoe.
 
“You cannot live life and expect it to be an easy fairy tale. Even princesses in movies struggle to have a happy ending.” -Author Unknown
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“Kissing the frog to get the prince is a waste of a perfectly good frog.” -Jim Benton
 
“They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince, but if you do, you could end up with warts and other awful things you will not want. So, if you are wise, you will not kiss frogs, and though you will not get your prince-turned-frog-turned-prince, maybe if you stand afar off and just blow a kiss to a frog, the frog might wonder what you are doing . . . which is still something.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966): “If You Believe in Fairy Tales”
 
Erma: What did Cinderella say when the drugstore lost her photographs?
Myrna: “Someday my prints will come!”
 
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How to Survive a Fairy Tale
 
Sound Advice.
     If you should find yourself lost in a book,
     Where certainly no one would think to look,
     Follow these tips to keep yourself safe,
     From witch, or from troll, or cold-blooded snake.

Be Helpful.
     If someone should ask you for a helping hand,
     Help without thinking, do not be grand.
     Chances are, they will later come back,
     To assist you from a confusing trap.

Listen.
     If you’re given advice, listen or be doomed,
     Even if it comes from an animal,
     However degrading, I am sure you will find
     It is highly preferable to stay alive.

Be Cunning.
     While there are those who mean you no harm,
     There are the people on the other arm,
     Most would eat you without a regret,
     So stay alert to keep safe from them.
 
Stay Safe.
     Stick to the path,
     Don’t open the door,
     Keep away from that cottage,
     Or we’ll see you no more.
 
Now You Are Wiser.
     Follow these hints,
     And you will be safe,
But beware if the rules you ignore and break.
     Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
 
by Karissa E., from Spokane Valley, Washington, United States of America
 
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Groucho: What grows on trees and is afraid of wolves?
Harpo: The three little figs.
 
“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales.” -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)
 
“Daddy,” a little girl asked her father, “do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time’?” “No, sweetheart,” he answered. “Some begin with ‘If I am elected . . .’”
 
Overheard: No one is too young or too old for fairy tales.
 
Goldilocks and the Three Bears: Once upon a time, there were three bears. A Mommy bear, a Daddy bear, and a Baby bear. One day they went for a walk. When they got back, Daddy bear asked, “Who’s been eating my porridge?” Baby bear asked tearfully, “And who’s been eating my porridge?” Finally, Mommy bear chimed in with, “Oh, stop this silliness - I haven’t made any porridge this morning as of yet.”
 
“Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale.” -Hans Christian Andersen (1805 - 1875): “The True Story of My Life” (1871)
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​“A charmed life is not theirs; a hard lot is theirs. Few fairy tale characters live in castles. Many of them call far more humble abodes their home. They sleep on the floor, subsist on boiled roots, nuts, and berries, and earn a precarious living doing difficult labor for meager pay, when they can get it. They must always carry a big, heavy stick to fend off thieves and wolves. Yet they rarely consider themselves poor or question the way life treats them, because just trying to stay alive each day fully occupies them. Possibly the lives of ordinary fairy tale characters have much in common with the lives of ordinary real people, because neither know much of the charmed world of princesses and palaces . . . except in fairy tales they might have heard.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966): “If You Believe in Fairy Tales”
 
Olaf: What has six legs, four ears, and a shining suit of armor?
Olga: A prince on horseback!
 
One day a boy was sitting in his first grade class as the teacher was reading the story of the “Three Little Pigs.” The story is about three pigs who build houses of straw, sticks, and bricks to protect themselves from the big bad wolf. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home. She said, “. . . and so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said ‘Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my house with?’” Then the teacher asked the class, “And what do you think that man said?” My friend’s son raised his hand and said, “I know! I know! He said, ‘Wow! I don’t believe it - a real, live talking pig!’” The teacher was unable to teach for the next ten minutes.
 
“Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.” -Author Unknown
 
Marty: Why did Cinderella fall down at the ball?
Arty: Because she was wearing slippers.
 
Mouse: My, what big ears you have, and such a long nose, and pointed teeth - you are not going to eat me . . . are you?
Elephant: Yes, I do have big ears, though my trunk is much more than just a great long nose, and my tusks are not for chewing like teeth are. Also, I am a vegetarian, and I do not eat mice.
-David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966): “Fairy Tales Re-Imagined”
 
Rumpelstiltskin: What is it that everybody listens to but no intelligent person believes?
Rapunzel: The weather reporter.
 
Fairy Tales Quiz
- What do the three bears like to eat for breakfast?
- What types of characters can be found in fairy tales?
- Which fairy tale has seven dwarfs?
- What is the purpose of fairy tales?
- What fairy tale character is half-human and half-fish?
- What is your favorite fairy tale?
 
“I like Cinderella, I really do. She has a good work ethic. And she likes shoes. The fairy tale is all about the shoe at the end.” -Amy Adams
 
Fairy Tales Quiz Answers
- The three bears like to eat porridge for breakfast.
- Characters such as talking animals, tradesmen, giants, children, princesses, and magical beings can be found in fairy tales.
- The fairy tale that has seven dwarfs is, “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”
- The purpose of fairy tales is to teach people about the dangers and wonderfulness of life in an entertaining fashion.
- The Little Mermaid is a half-human, half-fish fairy tale character.
- You get to decide which fairy tale is your favorite, and no one else gets to decide for you.
 
“He’s away with the fairies,” is an Irish expression for someone who is a bit loopy or a daydreamer.
 
“Someday you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.” -C. S. Lewis (Clive Staples Lewis (1898 - 1963))
 
In the original Italian version of “Cinderella,” the benevolent fairy godmother character was a cat.
 
“Happily ever after is not a place; it is a state of being, and you have to work at it every day.” -Gwendolyn Heasley
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​“There are still fairy tales to be imagined, written, and illustrated with pictures . . . meaning there is important work yet to be done, perhaps by you. Can you think up a fairy tale, write it down, sketch some scenes from it, and make it into a book or movie? The answer is that yes, you can. It is one small part of the unlimited potential that is in you, in a world of endless possibilities that stretch further than any eyes can see. Ours is indeed a fairy tale world, and you are one of the many fairy tale characters in it.” -David Hugh Beaumont (born 1966): “If You Believe in Fairy Tales”
 
Clever Wee Pig
 
There once was a clever wee pig
Whose brothers were lazy and big.
     Their homes were too weak
     So they ran with a squeak
To the house of the clever wee pig.
 
by Author Unknown
 
Maybe the way to write a fairy tale is to decide on a moral or lesson first, and then build, or write, the story around it?
 
Cinderella, originally known as Aschenputtel, lost her left shoe at the stairway when the prince tried to follow her. So, does that mean she was walking around for the rest of the evening with no shoe on one foot, and one shoe on the other foot?
 
“Fairy tales in childhood are stepping stones throughout life, leading the way through trouble and trial. The value of fairy tales lies not in a brief literary escape from reality, but in the gift of hope that goodness truly is more powerful than evil and that even the darkest reality can lead to a Happily Ever After. Do not take that gift of hope lightly. It has the power to conquer despair in the midst of sorrow, to light the darkness in the valleys of life, to whisper, “One more time,” in the face of failure. Hope is what gives life to dreams, making the fairy tale the reality.” -L. R. Knost
 
“We like stories that have happy endings, because they give us hope, or at least, do not take it away from us.” -Author Unknown
 
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Andy.
Andy, who?
Andy all lived happily ever after!
 
“If I’m honest, I have to tell you I still read fairy tales, and I like them best of all.” -Audrey Hepburn (1929 - 1993)
 
Fairy Tales
 
Fairy tales, for those who believe,
     are not a tale at all.
They are whispered to us in our dreams,
     by fairies one and all.
 
by Author Unknown
 
This is MFOL! . . . folks say they heard about us once . . . in a fairy tale . . .
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