Where Do Missing Socks Go?
In this critical piece of investigative reporting, we will explore a serious issue: Where do missing socks go? Can they find their way home?
It has happened to everyone. You do a load of laundry. You wash and then dry. When you go to fold the laundry, you no longer have a pair of socks. You just have one lonesome sock. Where did its partner go? You look everywhere. You retrace your steps. You go back to the washer, back to the dryer, scope out the floors, look in the laundry basket - but no sock. Where did it go?
This can be a desperate situation. Studies have shown that if the missing sock does not reappear within the first 31 hours, your chances of finding that sock decrease by 90 percent. Okay, we just made that up, but whatever. You probably are not going to find that sock. Let us attempt to solve this mystery.
The first 31 hours are critical. The best strategy in a crisis situation such as this one is to think like a sock. Imagine to yourself, “If I were a sock, where would I go?” Would you go behind the dryer, or would you get stuck in the sleeve of a sweatshirt? Maybe. But what if your sock is a rebel? Maybe your sock was tired of being part of a pair. Maybe your sock had bigger dreams. Perhaps the other twin sock was hampering that sock’s personal development. Maybe your missing sock had an opportunity to leave and took that opportunity!
You must consider the possibility that your sock is now living the good life elsewhere. Yes, your sock is famous now. Your sock is part of the local sock puppet theater! It happens all the time. Your renegade sock was tired of being confined to the sock drawer or being put on your foot. Would you want to do that? Imagine being worn on a foot all day! Imagine being forced into uncomfortable shoes all the time! What kind of life is that? Can you blame your beloved sock for leaving you and the other sock? Of course not! That sock is living a dream now!
The bottom line is, if you do not find that sock within that thirty-one hour window, your chances are slim to none that you are bringing it back. Once that sock has a taste of freedom, it is impossible to make that sock return to live such a humiliating and boring existence.
Other theories abound, of course. Not everyone buys into the rebel sock theory. Yes, there are always doubters when an incredible new idea emerges. Your friends, family, and neighbors, they will probably tell you not to give up. They will tell you encouraging phrases like, “Maybe that sock ended up wrapped in a set of sheets in the back of your linen closet. Maybe that sock is under the dryer. Maybe your pet grabbed a sock out of the basket and is using it as a chew toy.” The list can go on and on.
On 9 May of each year, we pause and reflect, as we observe Lost Sock Day, in honor of all the socks that have gone missing, and all the socks that have lost a sock buddy. Where, oh where did our little sock go? Will the world ever know how we miss our missing sock so?
by Author Unknown
In this critical piece of investigative reporting, we will explore a serious issue: Where do missing socks go? Can they find their way home?
It has happened to everyone. You do a load of laundry. You wash and then dry. When you go to fold the laundry, you no longer have a pair of socks. You just have one lonesome sock. Where did its partner go? You look everywhere. You retrace your steps. You go back to the washer, back to the dryer, scope out the floors, look in the laundry basket - but no sock. Where did it go?
This can be a desperate situation. Studies have shown that if the missing sock does not reappear within the first 31 hours, your chances of finding that sock decrease by 90 percent. Okay, we just made that up, but whatever. You probably are not going to find that sock. Let us attempt to solve this mystery.
The first 31 hours are critical. The best strategy in a crisis situation such as this one is to think like a sock. Imagine to yourself, “If I were a sock, where would I go?” Would you go behind the dryer, or would you get stuck in the sleeve of a sweatshirt? Maybe. But what if your sock is a rebel? Maybe your sock was tired of being part of a pair. Maybe your sock had bigger dreams. Perhaps the other twin sock was hampering that sock’s personal development. Maybe your missing sock had an opportunity to leave and took that opportunity!
You must consider the possibility that your sock is now living the good life elsewhere. Yes, your sock is famous now. Your sock is part of the local sock puppet theater! It happens all the time. Your renegade sock was tired of being confined to the sock drawer or being put on your foot. Would you want to do that? Imagine being worn on a foot all day! Imagine being forced into uncomfortable shoes all the time! What kind of life is that? Can you blame your beloved sock for leaving you and the other sock? Of course not! That sock is living a dream now!
The bottom line is, if you do not find that sock within that thirty-one hour window, your chances are slim to none that you are bringing it back. Once that sock has a taste of freedom, it is impossible to make that sock return to live such a humiliating and boring existence.
Other theories abound, of course. Not everyone buys into the rebel sock theory. Yes, there are always doubters when an incredible new idea emerges. Your friends, family, and neighbors, they will probably tell you not to give up. They will tell you encouraging phrases like, “Maybe that sock ended up wrapped in a set of sheets in the back of your linen closet. Maybe that sock is under the dryer. Maybe your pet grabbed a sock out of the basket and is using it as a chew toy.” The list can go on and on.
On 9 May of each year, we pause and reflect, as we observe Lost Sock Day, in honor of all the socks that have gone missing, and all the socks that have lost a sock buddy. Where, oh where did our little sock go? Will the world ever know how we miss our missing sock so?
by Author Unknown
