If you listen very, very carefully, you might just hear these scrumptious baked goods calling out your name . . .
Two muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said to the other, “Isn’t this great! We’re turning such a lovely golden brown.” The other muffin screamed, “Aaahhh! A talking muffin!”
‘Pound cake’ is so named not because of the weight of the cake itself, but because the recipes once called for a pound of butter, a pound of sugar, a pound of eggs, and a pound of flour.
Bryce: What does bread do on vacation?
Brianna: Loaf around.
English muffins were invented in about 1880 in New York City, New York, United States of America, by Samuel Bath Thomas. He called them ‘toaster crumpets,’ although they eventually came to be called ‘English muffins’ possibly sometime around 1902. They are also known as ‘breakfast muffins,’ and in the United Kingdom (which includes England), they are known simply as ‘muffins.’ To serve, first separate the halves, using a fork if need be. They can then be toasted and smeared with butter and jam; used to make breakfast sandwiches with fried or scrambled eggs, ham or sausage or bacon, and cheese; or made into mini pizzas by topping with pizza sauce or spaghetti sauce or tomato sauce, cheese, and any other available toppings typically put on pizzas, such as sliced pepperoni, sliced mushrooms, or sliced olives.
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
A customer in a bakery was carefully examining all the rich-looking pastries displayed on trays in the glass cases. When a clerk approached him and asked, “What would you like?” he answered, “I’d like that chocolate-covered, cream-filled doughnut, that jelly-filled doughnut, and that cheese Danish.” Then with a sigh, he added, “But I’ll take that oat-bran muffin.”
Baker’s tip: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there will not be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
“Gather the crumbs of happiness and they will make you a loaf of contentment.” -Author Unknown
Estelle: Why did the coffee cake have to be retrained for his job?
Stella: Because he was doing such a ‘crumby’ job.
Bundt, chiffon, and marble are types of cake.
It was the night of the worst blizzard of the year. The streets were filled with drifting snow, and the winds were howling fiercely. A man, covered with snow and frost, entered a bakery. He said to the baker, “I’ll have one roll.” The baker wrapped the one roll and asked if there was anything else he could get for him. “No, that’s it,” said the man, “just the one roll.” The baker said, “You came out on the worst night of the year to buy just one roll?” The man said, “Yes, for just one roll.” The baker asked, “Are you married?” The man said, “Of course. How did you know?”
Overheard: I always wanted to be a baker, so I worked and saved, until I finally ‘raised enough dough’ to open my own shop.
“God gives us the ingredients for our daily bread, but He expects us to do the baking.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))
Two muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said to the other, “Isn’t this great! We’re turning such a lovely golden brown.” The other muffin screamed, “Aaahhh! A talking muffin!”
‘Pound cake’ is so named not because of the weight of the cake itself, but because the recipes once called for a pound of butter, a pound of sugar, a pound of eggs, and a pound of flour.
Bryce: What does bread do on vacation?
Brianna: Loaf around.
English muffins were invented in about 1880 in New York City, New York, United States of America, by Samuel Bath Thomas. He called them ‘toaster crumpets,’ although they eventually came to be called ‘English muffins’ possibly sometime around 1902. They are also known as ‘breakfast muffins,’ and in the United Kingdom (which includes England), they are known simply as ‘muffins.’ To serve, first separate the halves, using a fork if need be. They can then be toasted and smeared with butter and jam; used to make breakfast sandwiches with fried or scrambled eggs, ham or sausage or bacon, and cheese; or made into mini pizzas by topping with pizza sauce or spaghetti sauce or tomato sauce, cheese, and any other available toppings typically put on pizzas, such as sliced pepperoni, sliced mushrooms, or sliced olives.
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
A customer in a bakery was carefully examining all the rich-looking pastries displayed on trays in the glass cases. When a clerk approached him and asked, “What would you like?” he answered, “I’d like that chocolate-covered, cream-filled doughnut, that jelly-filled doughnut, and that cheese Danish.” Then with a sigh, he added, “But I’ll take that oat-bran muffin.”
Baker’s tip: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there will not be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
“Gather the crumbs of happiness and they will make you a loaf of contentment.” -Author Unknown
Estelle: Why did the coffee cake have to be retrained for his job?
Stella: Because he was doing such a ‘crumby’ job.
Bundt, chiffon, and marble are types of cake.
It was the night of the worst blizzard of the year. The streets were filled with drifting snow, and the winds were howling fiercely. A man, covered with snow and frost, entered a bakery. He said to the baker, “I’ll have one roll.” The baker wrapped the one roll and asked if there was anything else he could get for him. “No, that’s it,” said the man, “just the one roll.” The baker said, “You came out on the worst night of the year to buy just one roll?” The man said, “Yes, for just one roll.” The baker asked, “Are you married?” The man said, “Of course. How did you know?”
Overheard: I always wanted to be a baker, so I worked and saved, until I finally ‘raised enough dough’ to open my own shop.
“God gives us the ingredients for our daily bread, but He expects us to do the baking.” -William A. Ward (William Arthur Ward (1921 - 1994))
A piece of cake can brighten up just about anyone’s day . . .
David: When is a cake like a golf ball?
Mavis: When it has been sliced.
Jerrold: What is a baker’s favorite sport?
Jerry: Baseball, because he’s always shouting, “Batter up!”
William Penn, the founder and mayor of Philadelphia, had two aunts - Hattie and Sophia, who were skilled in the baking arts. One day, ‘Big Bill,’ as he was known, was petitioned by the citizens because the three bakeries in the town had, during the Revolution, raised the price of pies to the point that only the rich could afford them. Not wanting to challenge the bakeries directly, he turned to his aunts and asked their advice. When they had heard the story, the two elderly ladies were so incensed over the situation that they offered to bake one hundred pies themselves, and sell them for two cents lower that any of the bakeries were charging. It was a roaring success. Their pies sold out quickly, and very soon, they had managed to bring down the prices of all kinds of pastries in Philadelphia. In fact, to this very day, their achievements are remembered as the ‘remarkable Pie rates of Penn’s aunts.’
Yeast: The stuff that makes dough grow.
“All sorrows are less with bread.” -Miguel de Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1547 - 1616)): “Don Quixote” (1615)
Marcy: How do you stop a bagel from rolling away?
Darcy: Put lox on it.
“As the breadwinner for his family, the baker could not afford to loaf.” -Author Unknown
Overheard: Working in a bakery is no piece of cake!
Tongue Twister: I bought a batch of baking powder and baked a batch of biscuits. I brought a big basket of biscuits back to the bakery and baked a basket of big biscuits. Then I took the big basket of biscuits and the basket of big biscuits that was next to the big basket and put a bunch of biscuits from the basket into a box. Then I took the box of mixed biscuits and a biscuit mixer and brought the basket of biscuits and the box of mixed biscuits and the biscuit mixer to the bakery and opened a can of sardines.
Vera: Why was the cake as hard as stone?
Vernon: Because it was a marble cake.
A dozen is twelve, but a ‘baker’s dozen’ is thirteen - why? Far away and long ago, any baker who sold someone a dozen rolls or cakes and miscounted, putting only ten or eleven baked goods in a customer’s order, could receive a very heavy penalty under the law, so to stay out of trouble, bakers started giving customers thirteen items when they ordered a dozen.
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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Mom’s Famous Brownies Recipe
Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan. Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Junior, “No, no.” Add margarine to 2 cups sugar. Take shortening can away from Junior and clean walls. Measure 1/3 cup cocoa. Take shortening can away from Billy again and bathe cat. Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat’s fur. Assemble 4 eggs, 2 teaspoons of vanilla, and 1 and 1/2 cups of sifted flour. Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation. Take telephone away from Junior and assure party on the line the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill. Measure 1 teaspoon salt, 1/2 cup nuts, and beat all ingredients well. Let cat out of cupboard. Pour mixture into well-greased 9 inch by 13 inch pan. Bake 25 minutes. Rescue cat and take kazoo away from Billy. Explain to kids that you have no idea if cats can play kazoos. Put cat outside while there’s still time and he’s still able to run away. Frosting - Mix the following in saucepan: 1 cup sugar, 1 ounce unsweetened chocolate, and 1/4 cup margarine. Take the teddy bear out of the broiler, carry it out of the house, and throw it way up into the air so that it lands way up on the roof where the Frisbee and the basketball and the boomerang have disappeared to. Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn’t know Junior had slipped out of the house and was heading for the Thompson’s turkey farm. Put Junior in playpen. Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes. Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a toy snake in man’s front door mail slot. Promise to keep all toy snakes at home. Tie Billy to clothesline. Remove burned brownies from oven.
Hope this brought a smile to your face!
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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David: When is a cake like a golf ball?
Mavis: When it has been sliced.
Jerrold: What is a baker’s favorite sport?
Jerry: Baseball, because he’s always shouting, “Batter up!”
William Penn, the founder and mayor of Philadelphia, had two aunts - Hattie and Sophia, who were skilled in the baking arts. One day, ‘Big Bill,’ as he was known, was petitioned by the citizens because the three bakeries in the town had, during the Revolution, raised the price of pies to the point that only the rich could afford them. Not wanting to challenge the bakeries directly, he turned to his aunts and asked their advice. When they had heard the story, the two elderly ladies were so incensed over the situation that they offered to bake one hundred pies themselves, and sell them for two cents lower that any of the bakeries were charging. It was a roaring success. Their pies sold out quickly, and very soon, they had managed to bring down the prices of all kinds of pastries in Philadelphia. In fact, to this very day, their achievements are remembered as the ‘remarkable Pie rates of Penn’s aunts.’
Yeast: The stuff that makes dough grow.
“All sorrows are less with bread.” -Miguel de Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1547 - 1616)): “Don Quixote” (1615)
Marcy: How do you stop a bagel from rolling away?
Darcy: Put lox on it.
“As the breadwinner for his family, the baker could not afford to loaf.” -Author Unknown
Overheard: Working in a bakery is no piece of cake!
Tongue Twister: I bought a batch of baking powder and baked a batch of biscuits. I brought a big basket of biscuits back to the bakery and baked a basket of big biscuits. Then I took the big basket of biscuits and the basket of big biscuits that was next to the big basket and put a bunch of biscuits from the basket into a box. Then I took the box of mixed biscuits and a biscuit mixer and brought the basket of biscuits and the box of mixed biscuits and the biscuit mixer to the bakery and opened a can of sardines.
Vera: Why was the cake as hard as stone?
Vernon: Because it was a marble cake.
A dozen is twelve, but a ‘baker’s dozen’ is thirteen - why? Far away and long ago, any baker who sold someone a dozen rolls or cakes and miscounted, putting only ten or eleven baked goods in a customer’s order, could receive a very heavy penalty under the law, so to stay out of trouble, bakers started giving customers thirteen items when they ordered a dozen.
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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Mom’s Famous Brownies Recipe
Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan. Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Junior, “No, no.” Add margarine to 2 cups sugar. Take shortening can away from Junior and clean walls. Measure 1/3 cup cocoa. Take shortening can away from Billy again and bathe cat. Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat’s fur. Assemble 4 eggs, 2 teaspoons of vanilla, and 1 and 1/2 cups of sifted flour. Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation. Take telephone away from Junior and assure party on the line the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill. Measure 1 teaspoon salt, 1/2 cup nuts, and beat all ingredients well. Let cat out of cupboard. Pour mixture into well-greased 9 inch by 13 inch pan. Bake 25 minutes. Rescue cat and take kazoo away from Billy. Explain to kids that you have no idea if cats can play kazoos. Put cat outside while there’s still time and he’s still able to run away. Frosting - Mix the following in saucepan: 1 cup sugar, 1 ounce unsweetened chocolate, and 1/4 cup margarine. Take the teddy bear out of the broiler, carry it out of the house, and throw it way up into the air so that it lands way up on the roof where the Frisbee and the basketball and the boomerang have disappeared to. Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn’t know Junior had slipped out of the house and was heading for the Thompson’s turkey farm. Put Junior in playpen. Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes. Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a toy snake in man’s front door mail slot. Promise to keep all toy snakes at home. Tie Billy to clothesline. Remove burned brownies from oven.
Hope this brought a smile to your face!
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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Bread has become the prime symbol of nourishment and sharing. The breaking of bread is considered to be a symbolic gesture. The word ‘companion’ is derived from Latin ‘com’ meaning ‘together,’ and ‘panis’ meaning ‘bread.’ A companion is literally one with whom one comes together for bread.
Bread: Raw toast.
If a breadcrumb was lying on a table and someone cut it in half, would the result be two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?
A ‘bake sale’ is a traditional means of raising money for a cause such as a youth group, church, school, or civic organization. The usual way of putting one together is to find a place to hold the event, get some folding tables, folding chairs, tablecloths, print some flyers, and then ask people to bake and donate items such as cakes, cookies, cinnamon rolls, pies, cupcakes, pastries, dinner rolls, and so forth. Items such as cookies can be sold singly or by the dozen. Volunteers can help with sales at such events.
I applied a job at a bakery recently because I really kneaded the dough . . .
Bakers in the United States of America were ordered to stop selling sliced bread starting on 18 January 1943 and continuing for the duration of World War 2. Only whole loaves were to be made available to the public. The American government never explained how this action helped the war effort.
Unleavened bread: Bread made without any ingredients.
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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Ice Cream Bread Recipe
Ingredients
□ 2 cups any flavor of ice cream
□ 1.5 cups self-rising flour
Directions
1. Mix until all flour is moistened.
2. Bake in a greased bread pan at 180 degrees Celsius (350 degrees Fahrenheit) for 45 minutes.
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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“Bakers earn their bread and butter.” -Author Unknown
If flour, water, and salt are mixed, the result is glue. If eggs, baking powder, and oil are added, the result is cake. Where does the glue go?
Several people were all posed the following question: “What is pi?”
An engineer replied, “It is approximately 3 and 1/7.”
A physicist answered, “It is 3.14159.”
A mathematician thought a bit, and stated, “It is equal to pi.”
A baker said, “Pie is a fun and delicious dessert!”
“Within this thin wafer of bread is caught up symbolically the labor of plow and of sowing, of harvest and threshing, of milling, of transportation, of financing, of selling and packaging. Man’s industrial life is all there.” -Wilford O. Cross, commenting on a slice of bread
“Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.” -Author Unknown
We hope you enjoyed this eclectic collection of odds-and-ends related to baked goods and bakers. More maddeningly marvelous mayhem follows below . . . what?! Oh, apparently it’s somewhat silly, too . . .
Bread: Raw toast.
If a breadcrumb was lying on a table and someone cut it in half, would the result be two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?
A ‘bake sale’ is a traditional means of raising money for a cause such as a youth group, church, school, or civic organization. The usual way of putting one together is to find a place to hold the event, get some folding tables, folding chairs, tablecloths, print some flyers, and then ask people to bake and donate items such as cakes, cookies, cinnamon rolls, pies, cupcakes, pastries, dinner rolls, and so forth. Items such as cookies can be sold singly or by the dozen. Volunteers can help with sales at such events.
I applied a job at a bakery recently because I really kneaded the dough . . .
Bakers in the United States of America were ordered to stop selling sliced bread starting on 18 January 1943 and continuing for the duration of World War 2. Only whole loaves were to be made available to the public. The American government never explained how this action helped the war effort.
Unleavened bread: Bread made without any ingredients.
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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Ice Cream Bread Recipe
Ingredients
□ 2 cups any flavor of ice cream
□ 1.5 cups self-rising flour
Directions
1. Mix until all flour is moistened.
2. Bake in a greased bread pan at 180 degrees Celsius (350 degrees Fahrenheit) for 45 minutes.
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l i v e ☆ l a u g h ツ www.MakeFunOfLife.net ♥ l o v e ☼ g r o w
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“Bakers earn their bread and butter.” -Author Unknown
If flour, water, and salt are mixed, the result is glue. If eggs, baking powder, and oil are added, the result is cake. Where does the glue go?
Several people were all posed the following question: “What is pi?”
An engineer replied, “It is approximately 3 and 1/7.”
A physicist answered, “It is 3.14159.”
A mathematician thought a bit, and stated, “It is equal to pi.”
A baker said, “Pie is a fun and delicious dessert!”
“Within this thin wafer of bread is caught up symbolically the labor of plow and of sowing, of harvest and threshing, of milling, of transportation, of financing, of selling and packaging. Man’s industrial life is all there.” -Wilford O. Cross, commenting on a slice of bread
“Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.” -Author Unknown
We hope you enjoyed this eclectic collection of odds-and-ends related to baked goods and bakers. More maddeningly marvelous mayhem follows below . . . what?! Oh, apparently it’s somewhat silly, too . . .
